#like…. there’s ‘white girl’ stereotypes just like how there’s ‘trans guy’ stereotypes

[winters-on-the-wing]

now that people are finally talking about how trans people are treated horrifically in this fandom let’s also take a moment and talk about the horrible way trans headcanons are done in this fandom.

transness is only acceptable in this fandom if it’s one of two ways:

1. a small shy WHITE, SKINNY boy is headcanoned as ftm. regulus, severus, very tentatively remus and sirius.

2. a (usually black) girl is headcanoned as mtf. mary, dorcas, tentatively lily and marlene.

ANY other expression of a trans headcanon? gets hate. gets flat out hate, or at the best, ignored. i’ve been CRUCIFIED on tiktok for bringing up an au i have where remus is big-chested and a larger person, and he’s ftm. not all trans guys are tiny little pale prepubescent babies who can fit in your pocket! and saying “i just don’t see it” when i even dare bring up ftm james or mtf lily shows the thinly veiled racism you have when it comes to transness. this fandom views transness as a conditional, an aesthetic, an ACCESSORY.

and please don’t reblog saying “i hc reggie as trans because i see myself in him and he just happens to be two feet tall and fifteen pounds and paler than the moon it’s just a coincidence 🥺” i’m not denying the presence of the occasional coincidence but it’s still ridiculous the sheer volume of trans headcanons that fall right into transphobic and frankly racist stereotypes. and then it’s just inexcusable that people are getting hate when their headcanons go against this current.

thoughts on this? am i crazy? i highly doubt im crazy.

(i don’t like to use gender labels to describe myself but i’m not gender conforming. i was born a girl but i call myself a girl and a boy and i like he and she pronouns the same and i really like being called things like dude and son and buddy and bro and boy names like that, just don’t call me they cuz i get confused and think there’s suddenly two of me. also please don’t label me i find labels sort of stifling.)

[least-transmcytshowdown]

Mumbo Jumbo:

Submitted for: Hermitcraft, Last Life, Secret Life, Wild Life

Headcanons: Nonbinary, he/him

Propaganda: “[The submitter] think[s] trans Mumbo would be funny. Vote for him.”

“Guys. Guys. Mumbo Jumbo being a pathetic trans nonbinary he/they masc presenting guy. Being so proud of his moustache that he spends so long styling it every day. Wearing a suit everyday because it gives them the gender euphoria when wearing something so stereotypically 'masc'.”

Graaavel:

Submitted for: Exposure Craft

Headcanons: Transmasc, he/him

Propaganda: Is transmasc irl

Joel Smallishbeans:

Submitted for: Hermitcraft, Third Life, Last Life, Double Life, Limited Life, Secret Life, Wild Life, Empires SMP Season 1, Empires SMP Season 2

Headcanons: Transmasc, he/they; Trans man, he/him; Genderfluid, any pronouns; Trans masc, it/he/she; Transmasc Genderfluid, he/any; Identity not specified, they/he

Propaganda: “He’s just a silly little terracotta man with only a vague understanding of human gender he tries to impersonate but fails at.”

“Lizzie and Joel are a t4t bi4bi couple in [the submitter’s] heart. Lizzie transfem (she/her) Joel transmasc+gender fluid (he/any).”

“Basically anywhere you see him. Just like, the constant ‘Ooh i'm so manly, the manliest, I’m so tall and strong and handsome,’ and always insisting that he’s really tall despite being super short and the way his voice will sometimes get all high and squeaky these are all very transmasc coded things. He’s one of us, okay, he’s got the vibes, trust, he’s got our humor. Every time he goes mining on Hermitcraft there is always a caption that’s like ‘straight white male mining content’ which is more of his constant need to assert how macho and manly he is and in double life he says he’s not going to get in the pool cause he’s ‘ashamed of his Minecraft body’ which is very trans behavior. He’s got that confidence he can wear a dress for mcc and still know he’s a man which is very transmasc cause other men just got handed it, but we afab men have to look at masculinity and go ‘yeah that’s me’ and then make sure everyone knows it like that’s how you know being trans isn’t a choice because men kinda suck and I still went out and actively was like um guys I’m actually a man sorry. Some days he’s cool with just throwing gender norms out the window and some days he feels the need to yell for the whole world and the next couple galaxies as well to hear that he’s DeFiNiTeLy NoT WeArInG a CoRsEt GeM. Can you tell [the submitter’s] projecting? Cause [they’re] projecting. You can pry this headcanon out of [their] cold dead hands lol.”

“He has fluctuating chest dysphoria so sometimes he doesn't bind and sometimes he does. His bad dysphoria days are rare enough that he's not gonna bother with top surgery.”

“Transmasc Joel Smallishbeans is everything to [the submitter] and [the submitter] like[s] to think that forming the bad boys is what made him plug the tv back on and turn the brightness to the max, like he went ‘Oh we’re bad boys?? Guess I’m finally a boy now!”

“Nonbinary bad boy Joel except he is not a boy.”

"First, [the submitter] think[s] she was raised as a gender that just. doesn't exist here. She was raised in Mezalea where how gender works is just. different and, because she has a beard, everyone assumed she was a man but she's NOT and in recent years has been figuring out her own identity and pronouns in a way she hasn't ever thought about before and also she and Lizzie are butch4femme, amen. Or bi4bi. Both? She’s a masculine person and she likes stuff like the bad boys because it's more of a title separate from her gender. She’s just a masculine woman, amen.”

“He's a sopping wet tanooki (cat /j) and [jizzie] are t4t bi4bi coded.”

“Joel hasn't been called girlfriend/wife/girl by his friends for NOTHING. Bro’s the definition of gender and he slays in a dress no matter what (in Minecraft and in irl)."

[januscorner]

Why I think Holyghost is T4T

So we know Grace’s mother respects trans people as she uses Ziggs’s proper pronouns, so it’s not to much of a stretch they’d accept a trans daughter. Grace’s main colors are Pink, Blue, and White (the colors of the trans flag) to the point where she even colors her sign that way

We don’t know that much about Max’s personal life however we can peace some stuff together. We know he has a bad relationship with his dad referencing his dad calling him “a little cuck” maybe because he doesn’t accept him, his reference to Judas likely means his family is Christian only adding to it (obviously not all Christians are transphobes but a good amount of transphobes are Christian)

He seems to be friends with Steph or at least former friends, telling her to get behind him at the Old Waylon Place and offering to protect her. While obviously guys and girls can be friends they’re relationship to me at least reads as childhood girlfriends after one transitioned (from my own personal experience as a trans guy) Also adding to the betrayal and him calling her Judas.

And finally Max’s over performance of masculinity. Max is stereotypical toxic masculinity in human/ghost form. I think it at least started as overcompensating so people see him as a boy although soon after he just went mad with power. Pete mentions knowing him sense the fourth grade, Hatchetfield is a small town so while there are a few different schools a lot of the people at Hatchetfield High probably knew him before he transitioned and maybe even told the people who didn’t. It’s really hard to get people who knew you before you transitioned, especially cis people, to see you as your gender. So Max becomes the epitome of toxic masculinity, they have to see him as a guy now. Plus it’s pretty common for AFAB trans people to lean hard into masculinity at the start of their transition regardless of how they actually want to look.

Also us seeing Max shirtless doesn’t mean anything sense it’s all in Grace’s head, Grace might not even be aware Max is trans (after all who would tell her she doesn’t have friends)

Edit: I just remembered, Pete is hiding from Max in the boys bathroom, if Max is cis there’s no reason Pete would be safe there but if Max can only use the girls bathroom…

[everything-transmasculine]

sorry this is so long it might be cut off sometimes i feel like the people who have been adamantly referring to trans men and transmascs who talk about masculinity and the different aspects of it as "tMRAs" and "men's rights activists" have

1. never experienced dealing with an actual MRA and are using a snappy acronym that coincidentally terfs/radfems use to refer to trans people as well, which comes off as "i feel targeted, so i'm going to push that onto others" and

2. don't view trans men and transmascs as having the ability to have a complex and intimate understanding of masculinity, from toxic to healthy, and that trans men/mascs have never experienced or heard "how men are when they don't think any women are around." because 'locker room talk' 100% happens to and in front of people they think are girls/women, they just don't see those perceived as "female"/who have "lesser/weaker anatomy" as able to like. understand what they're saying or relish in making them uncomfortable.

this is shit i've literally heard guys admit to and say to me regardless of how i passed, if they did or didn't know i was trans, it literally doesn't matter to them. bigoted people (especially weaponized victim status cis women and creepy cis men) don't care about transfeminist theory or how sexism is transphobic because genitalia has nothing to do with gender or discrimination, they're transphobic and misogynistic. and they express that by being transphobic and misogynistic. they do not care about the tme/tma dichotomy or how thinking female (vagina) = weak is transphobic to trans women. their transmisogyny is synonymous with homophobia and their transphobia is synonymous to misogyny.

trans men and trans women aren't opposites or enemies whatsoever and the pitting of them against each other has effortlessly undone so much solidarity and understanding of what intersectionality actually is. that being trans is now a morally-based social contract in which you agree to be disrespected on almost every front, including by other trans people, and those other trans people are The Enemy. i'm so tired and this is coming from an academic who deals 24/7 with literally ONLY cis people who think i am cis as well, but being an effeminate short man gets me pigeonholed as a bunch of shitty stereotypes and expectations even from my own FAMILY who can't compute how i look now as opposed to how i used to. sorry this turned into a ramble but trans men aren't both white cis men and white cis women simultaneously benefitting from the privileges of both with the most bigotry they see being occasional "harmless bullying" of misgendering or deadnaming and how it's nothing compared to how real suffering.

if i talked about how i was treated and perceived and the horrors i went through because of specifically being a trans man people would say i was lying. why is it always non trans men who are so sure of what happens to trans men to the point where if trans men try to talk about anything besides what's been "allowed" they're branded as i said in the beginning, tMRAs/theyfabs/the blue hair and pronouns annoying kazoo voice stereotype and a million other "shut up" terms. this is all over wanting to be seen and viewed as a whole person regardless of ASAB/appearance/nonharmful beliefs we all have the same goal why are we letting interpersonal annoyances about personalities clashing dictate how much someone can suffer

anon, i fully agree with you - especially “why is it always non trans men who are so sure of what happens to trans men.” there is a serious problem inside and outside of the queer community of non-transmasculine people trying to dictate transmasculine lives as they see fit (ie, classic DARVO - “that didnt really happen to you, and if it did happen to you it wasnt that bad, and if it was that bad then you deserved it.”)

im going to put my full response beneath a readmore, as this got pretty long!

i think you are correct in your assessment of the current situation of seeing a transmasculine person talking about their experiences, and immediately referring to them as a MRA/tMRA, or not valuing their experiences because they dont see transmascs as being able to have complex relationships with gender, and by extension, masculinity. whenever i see someone calling a transmasc a “tMRA” as if its a bad thing, i always wonder to myself - what is so bad about being an activist for the rights of transmasculine people? in what world do transmasculine people not deserve to speak up for their rights - and in fact, the rights in question usually end up being along the lines of “id like to be treated with basic human decency, please.” just because one group is campaigning for basic human rights doesnt mean theyre taking away from the other groups struggle? of course this notion is exempt when the group in question is campaigning for the other group to be silenced and erased from marginalized spaces, taking away their status as a marginalized people in the first place to label them as “oppressive” based on a binary, sex-based dichotomy that has no basis in actual practicality when all groups involved are denied access to human rights on basis of “chosen” gender, regardless of ASAB… but im getting off topic lol.

tldr; what is so bad about trans people - because lets not forget, transmascs are TRANS before they are anything else (save for other marginalized identities that follow the current societal norm) - vocalizing their struggles to a (supposedly) supportive community?

what is so bad about trans people? because it seems like every person who labels a transmasc as a tMRA on basis of “you wont shut up about the problems you face” needs to do some unlearning of ingrained ignorance and discrimination - and if im not being clear enough… if youre calling any transmasc a tMRA for talking about their unique struggles, you not only sound like a bigot… YOU ARE A BIGOT.

i also think the view you present of bigots, and how they interact with bigotry, is very interesting - because youre right! to those who are bigoted, they arent thinking “this aggression against this person is specifically due to the unique intersection of bigotries that turn into transmisogyny/antitransmasculinity/transphobia/etc” … theyre thinking “this stupid (slur) is a freak and deserves to die.” and whether that violence is in the form of other-gendering, physical violence, sexual violence, or some other form of bigotry, the bigots dont care about who is “affected” and who is “exempt” - ultimately, they just care that youre trans, and that being trans makes you a target. to us, the victims and survivors of the bigotry - we give it unique identifiers, ways for us to call out certain forms that the bigotry takes so that we can better recognize and stand against it (transmisogyny, transphobia, antitransmasculinity, etc.) to bigots, were just receptacles for violence, and thus whatever violence enacted on us is their “god given right.”

additionally, its important to note that medically transitioning and nonmedically, nontransitioning, cis-perceived nonbinary, transmasculine, transfeminine people will not see the same amount of bigotry as visibly (or knowingly) transitioning people will. however, in the case of someone mistaking a trans person for the “wrong” gender, and instead viewing them as the perceived ASAB (or, to put it shortly, people who are quantified as “basically cis”) - they are often, regardless of transmasculinity or transfemininity, treated similarly when it comes to the immediate knee jerk reaction. the main difference is, as i have stated in other posts, hypervisibility vs hyperinvisibility. whereas the transfems experience will take precedence due to their hypervisibility in society, conversely the transmascs experience will be largely ignored or written off on basis of them not being taken seriously (and this is due to a multitude of factors, including derision based in ASAB, “manning up,” etc.)

theres also a harmful rhetoric being pushed that when transmasculine people DO speak about their experiences, their oppression, etc… harmful terms (such as youve outlined) are immediately used to condemn and slander the transmasculine individual who is speaking in the first place. this also often reinforces ASAB-based discrimination, as these terms often boil down to “youre being whiny/hysterical/stupid/a bitch” - all terms that have a basis in misogyny and sex-based oppression. those terms dont stop being misogynistic just because theyre not being applied to a woman - if the root place from which the language is derived is “your ASAB makes you inherently inferior, and youre acting like your ASAB” its inherently bioessentialist and sex-based discrimination. it becomes misogynistic if your ASAB is female, as there is the added stereotype that anyone who is AFAB will inherently be a “whiny, hysterical, stupid bitch.” you can see this reflected in words like “theyfab” - which literally posits the word “they” (referring to a nonbinary identity) with “AFAB” (referring to the ASAB of female) - as a way at discrediting the transmasculine individual its applied to by implying they are both embodying the stereotype of the annoying nonbinary person, while still using and abusing the perceived “privilege” that comes with being assigned female at birth… and the privilege in question is being told to sit down, shut up, and look pretty so the so called “superior” sex can do whatever they desire.

trans people should not be defined by their ASAB - actually, ill go a step further. NOBODY should be “defined” by their ASAB. your assigned sex at birth is a designation of biological diversity, one that doesnt always fit in neat little boxes. its a biological marker of what reproductive niche you may or may not fall into, not a determiner of superiority (and consequently, inferiority.) anyone trying to sell you on the idea of any one sex or gender being better than another is a bioessentialist bigot, and hasnt even begun the process of unlearning sexism, misogyny, and gender discrimination.

and this whole, long response STILL doesnt even touch on harmful beliefs like “all transmascs are detransitioners and TERFs in disguise” because transmascs are AFAB or how the term TME (despite people claiming it applies to everyone who isnt transfem) is exclusively used to ridicule and devalue transmascs or how the rates of violence for transmasculine people are so high (even surpassing the average rates for trans people) and yet still transmascs are seen as “attention seeking theyfabs.” and thats just the tip of the iceberg! i could go on for much longer about all the horrific, vitriolic, deeply transphobic sentiments that have pervaded the queer (and trans!) community, that have become acceptable statements to make because - once again - that didnt happen, and if it did happen it wasnt that bad, and if it was that bad… you deserved it (you stupid, hysterical, whiny, bitch!)

[justhereformyblorbos]

finished the young blood book! Though it’s definitely YA rather than as mature, it gave me a lot of nostalgia for the post-S1 fics where people thought they were goin gto be ported to childhood, and I thought the little details and the way the characters were characterized was actually really good! I loved how many parallels there were to canon and the further elaboration on the day to day life of the Umbrella Academy (and Viktor)

I wouldn’t take the book as a 100% canon source, but here are some disconnected small details that I enjoyed: SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT

- Twice trying to wrangle the hargreeves is referred to as “herding cats”, which is very accurate

- Grace custom sews their outfits and adjusts them for each member 🥺🥺🥺🥺 Luther gets a new one every time he grows, Diego has secret compartments for his knives, Ben has tentacle openings, Viktor’s looks a little too big on him

- I could definitely see how this Luther turns into S1 Luther but also he’s such a good guy. He just wants to help people and receive hugs

- Diego;;; my goodness. He loves his mom and also very much has a black and white view of justice. This is when he figures out he likes all black utility gear rather than the uniform

- Allison )::: allison )::: It’s so weird to see her feel out of place among other girls considering she grows up to be a famous actress but I think it was a good moment, as well as foreshadowing for her whole issues with the rumors

- Klaus is so vibrant here. He learned how to hotwire a car (They call Hargreeves’ car Hermes) at 12 from a ghost, regularly sneaks out of the house through the sewage system (the siblings refuse to do this) and is the life of the party

- Five was mentioned and acknowledged a couple times and every time it made me go ): The revelation that Ben had a daily check-in with Klaus asking about whether he could see Five or not and always believed Five was out there somewhere destroyed me. My crumbs ): oh ):

- Ben is my favorite character so I’m so glad he gets a POV here and an actual voice! He definitely has a good heart but also definitely doesn’t fall into the solely “shy and totally passive” stereotype <3 also im just happy for content of umbrella ben i miss him

- Viktor!!! He isn’t sure if Mom claps for his violin because of if he’s actually good or. He’s very lonely but the kids do include him a little bit which is lovely. Definitely some parallels to S1 canon. Also! Some Viktor trans moments where he ruminates on that for a little bit without knowing the actual cause, the mirror line has relevance here. I thought it was handled nicely but obviously I can’t speak on experiences that aren’t my own.

Other misc details:

- Ben gets calmer under high pressure situations and therefore becomes pretty good at pool despite never having played

- Klaus likes to jump from roofs for the fun of it and just thinks his body is extremely resilient to head trauma. Klaus. Klaus no. 😭

- Diego uses “Boy Scout” as a insult for Luther, who doesn’t mind because Boy Scouts are supposed to be dependable

- Diego has always been pretty good at dancing

- The Umbrella Academy never stick around to clean up after themselves on missions

- Ben and Viktor can fit together in the passenger seat

- Favorite meals: Ben likes PB+J and potato chips, Klaus likes bubblegum ice cream, Diego likes roast beef, Luther hamburger and fries, and a hot dog for Allison (though according to her it hasn’t been her fav food in years, and also she forgot Five’s favorite and Viktor’s favorite)

- Klaus listens to heavy metal (to drown out the ghosts), Allison likes pop music

- Viktor learned how to drive one year before this book, taught by Pogo. He has his license! Klaus knows how to drive too but he drives much more recklessly lol

- Allison once had a solo magazine cover and she can’t remember whether she rumored for it or not (foreshadowing)

- Ben has never told anyone that the tentacles hurt when they come out ())):) [BODY HORROR TW] They are also literally slithering under his ski, he can feel em with his organs, and the skin is tender where they come out

- Allison knows CPR. and uses it after one of the siblings has a near death experience 👍

[aworld-inpink]

just a quick warning, I do read most of the cast as trans in some way, especially the siblings, so if you get easily triggered by stuff like that, just don't interact please 😸

please be respectful of the space I have curated ★

Trans Obey Me! Headcanons ("brothers" edition)

Lucifer:

transmasc Luci genuinely brings me so much joy

like, the idea of him being the oldest and first to come out?

im in love

Lucifer is one of the more cut and dry ones to me

but I do love people who draw/write him as transfem, theyre the biggest troopers ever

Luci definitely acts as the main support for a lot of the others

especially when it comes to appointments for hormones

he/him, FtM

Mammon:

i am so insanely obsessed with this man

me and him are t4t trust

nah, but for realz

trans guy Mammon with the COOLEST top surgery scars, you will not catch them lacking

probably got a sick ass tattoo to give them a cool shape too

similar to the white on his chest in his demon design

off topic, but chubby Mammon actually makes me 🤤

need to be squished between his thighs yesterday bro

jjhjhjhjh they're so handsome look at that little guy go

i feel like he would say his pronouns are he/him but secretly wouldn't mind they/them also

he just feels like he would be seen as less of a guy

i love them

he/they, FtM (and so devastatingly bisexual (affectionate))

Levi:

everybody say thank you to Levi for inventing being transgender

she ..... she's my everything

if Mammons my boyfriend she's my wife bro

(Mammons my favourite, Levi just has more whimsy)

gamer girl

i NEED her bathwater gang you don't understand ......

i made a whole post about transfem Levi, you should check it out ;)

tho trans guy Levi also has a special place in my heart and my bed (he's just like me fr)

do you wanna know the good that flat girl Levi would do for the ecosystem??

it would end climate change

she/her, MtF, Ruri chan was her trans awakening (half joking (not really))

Satan:

oh Satan the demon that you are

yknow they do say that Satan invented the gays

this NERD

book lover? likes cats? BLONDE?

how much more she/he/they can you get bro

demon born out of hatred, aged from transgenderism

that's all I'm saying

do you think Satan would feel the need to tie himself down to one specific gender identity?

fool.

Satan is everything and Satan is nothing

she/he/they, shrugs (genderfluid would be most accurate, but they're mostly unlabeled)

Asmo:

see the fandom argues about Asmo all the time

"is it ethical to headcanon them as trans just cause they're feminine?"

well, no, not necessarily, but that's besides the point

Asmo's similar to Satan in the way of not being tied to one specific gender or expression

but I feel like she's much more aligned to being a guy than Satan is

like, he doesn't mind other pronouns and sometimes enjoys them

but I think she's bigender with a heavy masc lean

expression wise he's more fem, but gender wise she's more masc

she/him, bigender and so full of love

Beel:

him.

i. i love him so much.

he's genuinely one of the sweetest characters in the game, and someone I would genuinely like irl

anyways however

I feel like this one is very stereotypical of me

cause this is the same headcanon as most of the trans part of the fandom

but Beel is so very trans man

like, didn't have top surgery just exercised to turn his boobs into pecs typa trans man

he's so powerful

and so lovely

and so, so transgender

he/him, FtM

Belphie:

similar to Levi, I do actually have a separate post just about Belphie

so if you want a less brief headcanon, check it out

anyways

Beel and Belphie are both trans to me, even in scenarios when I don't see the others as such

but my thing about Belphie is massively projection and based off my own identity

I think Belphie is also trans, but doesn't pass, doesn't want surgery, and doesn't necessarily want testosterone

like, I think he would feel a bit isolated from his siblings, especially Beel sometimes, since they're all relatively passing

but Beel would reassure him and they would cuddle on bad dysphoria days together, tons of snacks piled onto the bed for Beel and movies on autoplay for background noise :)

he/him, nonbinary

[zappedbyzabka]

Ftm/transmasc Johnny thoughts...

(tw for everything on that topic)

His white-knuckled grasp on masculinity and the way he thinks he should perform it—all these arbitrary things he and others have applied manliness to, like how much meat is in his food, sucking up his feelings, and how attractive women find him: It all just feels like a person who thinks that if they don’t keep up a strict image of masculinity then everyone will take away that ‘Man’ title.

Just like any boy worries—especially trans boys.

Johnny wants to be perceived as and live as who he is. It’s hard when if you’re a nonconforming guy, you’ll be seen as just a girly boy, but when you’re someone who has to take more steps than that, who has to put in way more effort to even receive that “boy” title, anything could end up with you thrown back in the box of “girl”.

He had the privilege of having a rich stepdaddy who just wanted him to be quiet and behave however he could get that to happen—which happened to be testosterone, cutting his hair even shorter than it was, and being called “He”

Plus, a white lie that he was just an effeminate little kid who grew out of it to anyone who was confused as to where Laura’s pretty daughter went. He just had to avoid anyone who really knew him before.

Because people accept that more than the truth, which is that he was a girl who was always a boy.

Kreese was the only man besides Sid whom he had as a male role model—and of course, Kreese was the only one he loved. The one he thought he should be like—and we all know what a wonderful impact Kreese has.

He wasn’t allowed to care like his mother. He wasn’t allowed to cry. He wasn’t allowed to be a pussy. He wasn’t allowed to be anything but what he saw in front of him, what he saw in movies—stereotypical and obvious.

If he said he enjoyed the dresses his mother used to buy him, he's a faker.

If he mentions that he always loved little soldier toys and monster truck jammies, then he’s not faking. When he’s in the locker room talking about girls and football, isn’t faking. If his towel slips, he’s faking.

That’s how it is. It doesn’t matter who he is inside if people can’t see it.

It’s tiring. He didn’t really enjoy playing a whole new act.

But he clung to every shred of “proof” he had, even when he started to pass. Even when all the “Mis—I mean, Sir”s stopped, even when there was no trace of Joanie.

When she was dead to him and everyone that knew her.

Bobby was there the whole time, he watched Johnny’s progression, was the first to call him Johnny, and was the first Johnny felt comfortable changing in front of. Bobby had some difficulty with his parents over it, and it made Johnny feel terrible. It felt like he was a burden, and his freakiness would always get in the way. That’s why he took so long to be open with any of the the other Cobras about it, besides the fear of getting thrown in a lake for what he is.

Just his existence caused ripples.

He could always tell when his mother missed her daughter—some days he felt like a murderer.

He didn’t like the pressure he felt with the girls he pursued to be this overly masculine meathead. Ali never pushed him into anything—she actually seemed to hate his macho act—but there are rules to being a boyfriend, like there are rules to being a girlfriend, right? You gotta be dominating and tough, and you can’t let her touch your ass even if you want her to, and you can’t talk about other boys you find cute because only girls can like boys, and he’s not a girl just like he’s not a fag. That’s what it is to be the man of a woman.

He didn’t want to be questioned. He didn’t want to see doubt in anyone’s face.

Maybe it was one reason he was so fucking angry about Daniel, who didn’t have to do any of that being born male, yet it all came so easy to him anyway. Didn’t have to worry even if he didn’t do as expected.

It felt like Ali went off to find herself a real boy. One who couldn’t fight, had no muscles, and probably didn’t even know who Rocky was- did none of the things Johnny had to do.

Don’t you have to be taller than your girlfriend? But then he thinks, when Johnny was a girlfriend the height never was an issue.

Daniel just got to…relax into the role of being male.

But maybe it was his view of women that he learned from Kreese that drove her away. Maybe it’s how he forced himself to act. Maybe it’s because his strive had him stepping on women by accident.

Johnny found himself wanting to be more like Daniel. Unquestioned in his shortcomings. Effortlessly masculine. He could do things like...keep his own hair silky without feeling like a gender traitor.

It was infuriating. It was unfair. It was embarrassing. It made him wonder if he slipped up with Ali and she lost attraction to him. He wondered If he wasn’t enough.

Kreese “had no issue with such a strong appreciation for the male lifestyle.” Saw that unique pain in Johnny as another way to mold him. Told Johnny that if his parents failed him, he’d be there to provide his hormones. You really can’t fuck up with a kid that desperate to be accepted, can you? Desperate, glowing potential Kreese needed to keep hidden under his wing. Doesn’t matter what he calls himself, as long as he does what Kreese tells him to.

He could drip alcohol into the cut when Johnny misbehaved with a simple pronoun slip up.

When Johnny got choked by Kreese and completely lost a pillar in his life, he fell completely into his persona, even when he was with the Cobras who always had a way of making him forget he wasn’t born like them.

Beer and chicks and cars and meat—hell yeah, right? Yeah. Yeah. Those are his favorite things. That’s all he wants. Men are supposed to want to fuck things and they’re supposed to look at porn, so he tries to want that. He’s a man’s man, and he never wants to do any of the feminine shit he used to.

He was near-frantic when he kept having rough patches and couldn’t afford his hormones without Sid’s allowance. His life was in that old man’s hands, and when Daniel raised the rent, he felt sickeningly afraid that he’d have to choose between giving up his dojo or giving up the shots that made him feel just okay enough to keep going.

It feels like the comfort of being the man came with a whole new torture caused by the weight of what it really means to be that man—The feeling or the performance? Is he still man enough if he misses a shot?

He never had any surgery. He honestly never really thought about it–he was the only trans person he knew growing up, and he didn’t really…want it? Whenever he told people his condition, that was always the question. “So...did you get surgery yet?”

Yet.

Like he had to do it. As if it were required of him, like all the countless other things, if he wanted to be who he was on the inside.

His chest was the same size as a man with pecs on the plumper side, so who cares? He liked the way he looked there. No one ever commented on his chest, because it’d be rude to say anything about that that to a man.

He didn’t want doctors touching him, or observing him. He didn’t want to talk about it. He didn’t want to think about it.

He still wears binders like he used to and stuffs his pants every now and then—on hard days when he’s worried someone will look into his eyes and just...know.

I imagine Daniel having zero idea until he happened to find Johnny with his binder halfway on. Ending up ruddy and panicked and slamming the door closed to give Johnny privacy.

And Daniel’s old and not all that well-versed in such things, but he tries to be gentle with delicate topics and delicate people.

The talk he and Johnny would have would be awkward. Snappy and defensive on Johnny’s end.

He would somehow be more knowledgeable on the topic than Johnny and it wouldn’t go to far the first time, but slowly and surely Johnny would open up for him. Tell him more and more. Reveal what the big driver for his anger with him was.

There’s something sweetly validating about the man you considered an enemy for so long accepting you as you are and validating you—even with all the details.

Maybe Johnny starts to cry again. starts grooming himself again. Gaining his “I don’t care what you think because I could kick your ass” attitude.

Maybe all the joy of having people that care about him in his life—reconciling with his kid perhaps—has him relaxing his shoulders for once.

Maybe he lets himself try a queer bar. Lets his eyes wander over to other men, easy and guiltless unlike the other times, because truly what’s manlier than liking other men? Maybe he lets himself go home with one, lets himself ask for what he wants because the guy seemed to already understand everything, like he’d been with people like Johnny before. He had no expectations.

(There’s also a world where Sam confides in him about her feeling like she has to be hyper-feminine and palatable to be liked when maybe she wants to shave her head and still wear skirts—)

[genderkoolaid]

https://www.tumblr.com/official-boob-posts/737368083891699712/official-boob-post

This post came across my dash and I just wanted to see your thoughts on it...

It really bothered me with like 1. They seem to be just assuming the person in the tweet is transmasc even though their user and stuff is blurred out???? 2. The op just like kinda insulted transmascs like we are all like this and in echo chamber or whatever 3. Some people in the noted saying shit like "another loss from the fellas" and some one even using Aiden like what

this is another example of a trans guy doing something kind of shitty that is absolutely not transmasc specific behavior. I have seen transfems who are talk about how they can't believe transmascs would be dysphoric over height/breasts/hips/whatever or telling transmascs how much they envy their bodies. all trans people are capable of doing weird shit like this because trans echo chambers have never been just a transmasc thing.

people will see a (possible) transmasc says something out of pocket and turn it into a race to throw in as many stereotypes as possible. like not only do i have to make this a Transmasc Thing but i also for some reason need to paint the picture of a young white transmasc twink whose soooo annoying and uses tumblr and is basically just the way that misogynists would talk about teen girls on tumblr except with added transphobia and i justify it by saying that he's an asshole so its somehow relevant

[butch-bakugo]

Just in case you needed MORE reasons to not attend the Minecraft movies aside from the fact that Jack black is a Zionist who defended Autism speaks (Literally screaming at well meaning and polite autistic people on Twitter who told him about how shit that org is), it's unoriginal, a cash grab, the black woman in the movie dose nothing but exist as a "sassy black woman" stereotype, the girls do nothing in the movie outside of talk about men and build a house randomly and there was abuse of staff/lack of credits given to alot of CGI artists who worked on this piece of garbage....

The white guy creator is more worried about all the white guys 16-24 who are going into the theaters screaming, throwing popcorn and drinks, ripping out rows of seats and dragged an actual chicken into the theater getting arrested (rightfully so) for property damage, animal cruelty and harassment than staff or respectful patrons.

This is entirely because teenage and young adult white cis boys are doing this. No one else would ever be allowed to get away with shit like this. If young black men were doing it, if white girls were doing it, if gay/trans people were doing it, there'd be hell to pay. They deserve to be fucking arrested, they are destroying property. Staff are happy that people would clap during that scene or yell out the meme but nothing I mentioned above isn't happening. There is an infamous video going around showing some of it with pictures of ripped open and pushed over rows of seats, tons of phone flashlights turning on, people covering themselves/seats/other unwilling patrons in soda and popcorn and candy, screaming in the theater, ripped carpet and dragging a real life chicken into the theater and holding it up while on someone else's shoulders. If they fall, that chicken could die, if not get hurt and certainly unnecessarily stressed and terrified by being in a dark loud theater then getting held up and pelted with popcorn.

These aren't fans who want to celebrate the movie, even if they were id still be damning them for it, these are a bunch of attention seeking white frat boys destroying a theater "for the meme" and y'all are less concerned with them getting away with behaving like that and more concerned about "their future"??? This isn't harmless fun, they caused thousands of dollars in damages and they walked out like nothing happened because no one will say anything because they are white and because they are men! If I had a son who'd been involved in that situation, you bet your fucking ass he (and his friends) arnt leaving that damn theater till it's clean and he can see his phone, computer, sports and hobbies after fucking graduation. That is an embarrassment to their families and they need to be raised better. That would never fly under my fucking roof. That's the worst of it, most those boys were fully fucking adults when this happened. Sure there were a few 16 and 17 yrs olds but most of them were 18-23.

Don't give them any excuses. Theater etiquette is very fucking basic and everyone knows it. No one in their age range today, my age range, hasn't been to a theater a few times in their life. It's very fucking simple: sit down, be quiet, keep the area clean, throw your trash away at the end and be respectful of those around you. There's 30 minutes of screen time in that movie after that scene. Id play a tune on my tiny violin for them if they had to sit in that mess for the whole 30 mins but they got kicked out immediately after. Theater staff have to clean that up. Other people posted videos of themselves being in the theater during this time and the manager kicked them out too despite them not participating.

And would you look at that, white boy director is more worried about memories and fun than maturity, respect and staff workers. Fuck their memories, fuck their fun, you are perfectly capable of making fun memories without destroying a fucking theater, abusing staff workers, harassing other patrons, ruining movies in theaters next to you and abusing a chicken all for a fucking trend that is already dieing in the fucking water. The only reason he likes this is because all those destructive men are buying tickets and leaving joke reviews on every site and the only reason he excuses it and doesn't want the cops called is because they are white men like him, arrests at theaters due to this movie is bad publicity and he will never have to be the underpaid and overworked employee on their hands and knees scrubbing soda off the carpet. He's a fucking capitalist pig.

Last thing I'll mention, about the fucking reviews, every review site is fucking broken about the movie right now. Rotten tomatoes is broken rn and IMDB is especially broken because both verified and unverified accounts are flooding it with 10/10 reviews that only say "chicken jockey" and "flint and steel". And those are the memey ones but there's are also just Jokey ones or clearly fucking bots. When you look at the ratings, if it was actually a very very good movie, most of the audience would sit around the 10, 9 and 8 star quality with it slowly petering out the lower you got. A movie that's getting flooded with good reviews by bots/trolls but is genuinely only mid would have an abnormal number of 10s (cause it's "the best"), really no 9s or 8s (cause trolls wouldn't think to evenly spread the fake reviews. They arnt a united front.), most be in the true range of the movie like 7s, 6s, 5s and 4s, then peter out towards the bottom. I'll prove it.

The sawshank redemption is one of the/is the best rated movie on IMDB with a whopping 93% average. The Minecraft movie is averaging about a 40-60% between rotten tomatoes (6 average) and IMDb (4 average). It should be mentioned you have to be verified/signed in to rate on IMDb but anyone can rate on rotten tomatoes which may explain why the reviews lean higher like that. Easier to troll with no barrier to entry. On the left is the reviews for the sawshank redemption on IMDb, on the right are the reviews for the Minecraft movie on IMDb.

Hmm... ITS ALMOST LIKE THE REAL RATING IS 6/7 NOT 10. If a movie is unanimously good, the ratings will reflect that with a top heavy graph. The Minecraft movie has intensely inflated scores because trolls aren't rating it honestly and neither site is bothering to weed out the trolls to reflect an actual score. Idk why they arent, maybe cause it's warner bros or laziness, but this is why we should stop this bs now.

This movie is bad, mid at best, the director is encouraging people to ransack theaters because white boy futures are more important than basic decency and it's a fucking cash grab getting better scores than FNAF because trolls aren't being stopped.

Fuck the Minecraft movie.

Fuck the Minecraft movie.

Fuck. The. Minecraft. Movie.

Boycott it because this behavior is fucking unacceptable and this director doesn't deserve shit.

[winters-on-the-wing]

Im glad u like my little yap session from last night so lemme add a little more ♡

Basically I think all of the making everyone flat and boring for relatability's sake is VERY linked to tiktok and booktok culture. Its no coincidence that the bland nature of predictable tropes became mainstream in the fandom during covid when all the tiktok girlie joined the fandom. And no hate to them (I joined the same time but not from tik tok, from pinterest I think?) Its just the whole palatable thing again. It's okay that some people ate satisfied with easy to swallow and comprehend literature and characters but like why do those who want to explore deeper and expand the characters get shamed? You try to make regukus complex and evil but also 3d and you get hate. But if u agree to the basic little uwu precious white baby trope where that's his whole character or super alpha mean straight up bully rrmus who hates his friends cux he's sm smarter than them. This shit is SO EASY and I don't understand the idea of denying yourself the ability to see people outside of dilly limiting tropes. Booktok and tropification are a whole different yap session but for now I'll just say that this fandom needs to at least try and see rhe characters as 3d i promise its more fun that way! Also tropes are very aligned with stereotypes and that's problematic when you include so many minorities. Stereotypical ftm, stereotypical mtf, poc girls, poc boys etc.

this is absolutely correct. all of it. every last bit of it.

it's why i get so skeptical when i see stuff like trans/poc headcanons. i love those headcanons but you HAVE to do the research. it has to go deeper than the trans guy not wanting to wear a dress. it has to go deeper than the latino guy saying "mi amor" a few times. if it doesn't, then that's not a trans/poc headcanon. that's a plastic accessory, a caricature of an entire culture of marginalized and oppressed people. and that's not cool to do. and yet it's so normalized.

i just hate the idea that fiction has to be easy and simple and surface level in order for it to not get hate. i don't mind getting hate, they're just wrong, but it's annoying how people have stopped trying to engage with things they disagree with at a glance. especially when it's in favor of takes that are so lukewarm, boring, reductive, and just...plastic. that's not what art is about. art isn't about fitting into perfect little tropes that are so one-dimensional that anybody can fit into any role. art is about human expression, it's about messiness and imperfection, it's about the wonderful phenomenon that is the individuality of human life. i resent incorrect quotes. i resent trope fics. i resent anything that requires cutting a character down into a cookie cutter shape so they can fit into something that's already been done a million times. if you enjoy that stuff, that's fine, but i don't, and i'm sick of it being shoved down my throat as the superior art form when honestly, i would barely even consider it art in the first place.

[mapsofnonexistentplaces]

because we got top 5 freddy facts can we get top 5 cuntress facts

OF COURSE

1 she is literally just transgender. like textually. stanley and i have joked about how its kind of written in the "cowards way" in that shes just a reincarnation that is basically a cis woman but considering this show came out in 2016 and the fact that there's like never any weird jokes about her gender i think this is like the best possible outcome. she has a few moments where she brings up like her old life and never really seems to think much of her weird little trans circumstances. casually talks about women she loved and theres never any jokes like "AHAAA but i am a girl nowww" or whatever. someone once wrote an entire article about her and this whole thing much to my surprise (same person picks up on tchaikovsky's trans implications as well but i forget if thats in this article or another one on this site. i digress) its great

for some reason her being trans made her also become blonde. its funny putting the two designs side by side

2 this is my favorite screenshot of her

3 shes got a job as a pianist for a local bar or something of the sort. kind of just implied she does random gigs i think? anyway theres some cute art of her playing the piano about it

theres a few instances where shes shown playing in the show and i think each time they use piano renditions of actual franz liszt pieces so she's literally just playing her own songs for people without them really knowing.... very very cute little detail

tangentially she's also shown to have a bit of a thing for alcohol which is a trait really only shared with schubert (her orange friend) and it never comes up in the show but GOD i wish they had a little scene of them getting blasted together i know they would.

thinking about it this actually comes up with tchaikovsky who's not allowed to drink on account of being like 15 and the way she prevents her from drinking is simply by stealing any drinks from her and chugging them

she rules

4 ive made the comparison before of white woman isel but she literally. just is. she has an entire motif about love and romance and gets excited when people's relationships are weird and complicated in a very like. "oh i am here to observe a story that will entertain me" way. very much has a penchant for the theatrics. and all of this is kind of surface level so the fact i bring to the table is that each time she has a fun little fancy outfit she always corresponds it to like. some kind of stereotypical archetypal fictional setting. her magical girl outfit is pirate themed and there's an entire episode about her literally constructing a fake cowboy au of all her roommates in her mind where she's a badass sheriff who made a pact with the literal devil. charms me A LOT that she kind of terraces around schlocky fiction that's all about drama. it's a cute little parallel to freddy's own dependencies on creating dogshit comics

5 this is not so much a fact as much as it is simply an earnest recommendation but she has an entire episode about challenging a guy to a piano duel where she spends all her prep time just working out. i cannot say any more about it because its genuinely just better experienced outright. if youve got like 20 minutes to waste just dip into season 2 episode 10 its probably the best episode in the show from an objective point of view and its all about her and its all you need to see

[ooglywooglies]

reading the bunny man everyone knows dysphoria posts bc like,

i sort of resent him sometimes not bc anything hes doing himself, yknow like i have nothing against gnc guys im a little gnc myself every once in awhile. i just have sort of a weird resentment of they way he seems so ubiquitous in the circles i find myself in (the pro fat, anti racist, transfeminist, non transmed) and part of me feels like its because of how he presents himself. yknow everybody i follow is either bi or a lesbian and hes a beautiful feminine boob boy.

and i sort of struggle with like, the concept of appeal, esp irt my race. i sort of realized as i was reading his posts that yknow bc hes black hes dealt with a hypermasculinization problem his whole life so being gnc, being feminine presenting, is a statement for him in a way that it wouldnt be for me. though i can imagine black trans men who feel like femininity is a lot more dysphoric may feel similarly to the double edged sword im about to describe.

im asian and we are on the opposite end of the spectrum were hyperfeminized/emasculated, obviously asian women are like probably the pinnacle of female sexual fetishization for this reason, being seen as small bodied, childlike, naive/innocent, docile, submissive, and obedient they sort of sit at the farthest end of the spectrum of gendered appeal as long as they actually meet those stereotypical requirements

asian men experience it too though, when youre gay its similar to being a woman (though probably not quite as bad, men still get the benefit of not being women), youre submissive, youre small, youre a bottom, youre obedient, because youre certainly not masculine so you may as well play the part of a woman. if youre straight youre really not worth anything, how could you please a woman, youre small, youre soft, youre weak, youre docile. i think asian men can be elevated out of this, particularly IN asia not so much out of it, through toxic masculinity.

ive struggled with being fetishized for my race my entire life i cant really quantify how much being mixed contributes to it but i know for a fact that it does, ive had people tell me tons of times that im some kind of perfect specimen, that half white and half asian is the best mix (though people tended to be a little let down when they found out im not japanese - also just to be pedantic im not actually half) but anyway, that along with like regular internalized misogyny, ideas of valuing your appearance AS your personhood are quite difficult to escape from i think thats really true for anyone its hard to accept yourself when you feel like youre not the idealized version of yourself that other people find attractive/valuable.

this is why is part of the reason i dropped my typical tomboy presentation as a young adult and sought femininity on purpose for once

because, well, besides the lie i tell that "i just wanted to try it for a bit, to make sure it wasnt what i wanted" it was more a matter of being obsessed with the attention presenting this way got me. its hard not to put yourself on a pedestal when people are always saying things to you like "youre literally my ideal girl" "youre like an anime character in real life" "how are you a real person"

even now, its a humble brag, i post my old pictures so that you too can look at me and think "wow how pretty, how lovely you used to be" because im still tormented by the feeling, that this is all i was ever really worth, even as i said in the moment when i was 22 "none of this is real, the girl disappears as soon as the picture is taken, ill never be her and she will never be me"

and like you can see how it was never just a matter of me being hot right, theres a depersonalization to this that goes deeper than just the fact that im transgender. and i always knew about that part, i was never comfortable with people coming up to me and thinking theyd found some kind of manic pixie anime dream girl, i never gave anyone who did an inch. it got to me even if i separated myself from it mentally enough to find it funny. i know that these people dont see me as a person, i know theyre just creepy pathetic fetishizing racist weeaboos, so i can laugh, i can do this as a form of mockery. you will never get what i have.

but it weighs on you, the sickness was getting to me, i may never fully recover from entertaining all of it, part of it is my fault. i couldnt do it anymore i had to get rid of all of it, burn it all down and just go back to normal, this was never me. but obviously i cant, obviously im haunted by the spectre of femininity, of fetishization, theyre intertwined and cant be untangled. and now i dont have it anymore, the ghost taunts the fact that i am worthless without any of it.

not worthless, no i still have a pussy and big pillowy breasts, i can still be used if it really comes down to it. im just not the pinnacle anymore, ive been slightly used and ruined and i dont know what ive been tainted by, is it the testosterone or the femininity? what will i be when those things are gone? i cant deny all of femininity forever because thatll just be toxic masculinity, what am i going to do become one of those asian guys who gets really into guns or cars? no, and i dont need to because im gay, ill never be able to achieve perfect masculinity because no one can. but does it matter if thats not what i seek?

is masculinity the real equivalent of anti femininity? is anti femininity always a bad thing?

i didnt write any of this because i know the answer tbh, its not so much an essay as a rambling rant. i sort of hate to see salem prancing around displaying his art of his character that looks like him, because he also looks like me, he talks about how embracing femininity feels so freeing for him. that hes felt like not looking like the other trans boys has made him feel lonely and undervalued but realizing he doesnt have to and he can be a man who is also feminine has is fat and has big boobs can make him euphoric. i dislike that. i dislike that he doesnt seem to be haunted by the spectre of femininity the same way i am, that he gets the benefit of being desired and presenting how he wants at the same time.

i know that hes in the minority, that the majority of trans men are not GNC and actually prefer to take the toxic masculinity route to their presentation because they experience dysphoria in a similar way i do. why dont i want to take that route? do i want to be GNC, do i want to be happy and free and feminine like salem? no, i definitely dont or id still be doing it, i enjoy masculinity i just dont like asserting my masculinity. there a piece missing though and i cant figure out exactly what it is, maybe because im hungry and im quickly losing my ability to cognition.

well if ive said anything embarrassing or regretful i wont know til later bc ive lost my ability to read for a bit. oh well probably no one will read this, i do yearn for attention but its probably for the best anyway.

[hyper-jam]

More random SecurityWaiter/DreamTheory headcanons (part 3)

+some general fnaf movie stuff

-I like the idea that Mike, Abby, Ness, Vanessa, Max, and Cory(/whatever his characters name is/would be) are all friends and call themselves the fazgang, which Ness, Abby, and Vanessa were definitely the ones who came up with that

-Mike eventually agrees to take Ness to Freddy’s after months of asking, and the two of them + Abby and Vanessa all go together to hang out with the animatronics and tell each other stuff about the place (Ness finally finds out the truth abt everything)

-Mike listens to 80’s music and like “male manipulator” type shit (he’s an angsty trans guy bros a stereotype /pos) and Ness is a def a Swifty he loves “white girl who’s friends are almost all gay men” type music /hj

-when Abby finds out that Mike and Ness like each other, she is GOBSMACKED because her brother has always been chronically bitchless on both ends but then she gets all excited to try and play match maker (she asks Vanessa for help and they’re actually kinda good at it)

-Vanessa is a LESBIAN and I am MIKENESSAS #1 HATER !! /hj /lh

-Ness loves embarrassing Mike any chance they get ever (they do try their best not to overstep but they’re a bit bad at gauging where the line is, especially since Mike isn’t very good at communicating, so they do go too far sometimes but it’s ok normally it’s all good and fun and Mike secretly likes it he’s like “hehe that’s right they’re my partner and I’m their boyfriend hehe I’m a boyfriend hehe”)

-Mike and Ness are so clingy I will never shut up abt it they will text and call any time they’re apart but they’re together like any chance they get and when they’re out in public, Ness will make it obvious they’re together in every way they can (without making Mike uncomfortable) and Mike can be a bit possessive over them like if he’s upset or feels left out or like Ness isn’t paying him enough attention to him (etc etc which like doesn’t happen often cause Ness is obsessed with him) he’ll get more physically and openly clingy (example is my last art piece they’re so cute) and in private they’re just like always touching, kissing, hugging, cuddling, rubbing, caressing, tracing, holding they are SO CLINGY IDC

-Abby makes the fazgang friendship bracelets

-Mike is NOT a jewelry person even remotely but he will wear anything Abby or Ness gives him, he just makes it known that he prefers bracelets and rings as they’re more subtle and usually more masculine

-Ness on the other hand loves jewelry and accessories and fun clothing in general. They have earings, bracelets, rings, pins, glasses, jackets, belts, pants and shirts with fun designs, etc. he loves dressing up

-Ness’ love language is yapping (info dumping, rambling, pet names, words of affirmation, etc.) and Mike loves to listen (even though he has no idea what they’re on abt half the time, he just likes hearing their voice and seeing them happy/excited/passionate)

-Mike and Ness absolutely share music with/make playlists for each other, even though majority of the time their music taste is NOT similar like AT ALL 💔💔💔

-Ness likes buying Mike shirts. Usually they’ll be nice and buy him shirts with stuff he’s interested in on it (music, movies, etc.) but he will also buy dumb things or cheesy couple stuff to see how much he can get away with (Mike always wears them, even if he thinks they’re dumb, though if they’re too dumb he’ll usually wear hoodies and jackets over them. Still wears them though)

-Mike and Ness absolutely steal each others clothes. They don’t wear them, cause they’re different sizes and styles, but being the clingy hoes they are, they’ll steal shirts and hoodies and stuff just simply to have, especially if they have to be apart for a long time

-whenever/if Mike eventually gets top surgery, Ness immediately becomes more touchy because they know that Mike is far more comfortable. They hug and cuddle him without worry, they run their hands across his chest, they kiss his scars, etc. UGH they’re so sweet I love them

-fall and winter are Mike and Ness’ favorite seasons. Mike loves it because of the cooler and darker weather, meaning he can comfortably layer clothes and experiences less weather related sensory issues (temperature, sunlight, etc.), Ness loves the holidays and the seasonal treats

-Mike and Ness love carnival and arcade dates. Ness loves carnival treats and rides, Mike likes winning games, they both like getting cute little prizes for each other. They do have to take precautions for overstimulation though lol. Noise canceling headphones (Ness has the obvious over ear ones that they like to decorate, Mike wears ear plugs/buds), sunglasses if lights are too much, little codes to let the other know that they need a break or wanna leave, etc.

-they cook together. Again, I do love the “Mike can’t cook for shit” headcanon but frankly that’s not super likely so they just cook together and it’s cute

-cute at home movie dates where they either bond over nerdy shit (like Marvel, Star Wars, whatever) and Ness can’t stop talking about his theories and Easter eggs and general things he thinks about the movies the whole time, which Mike doesn’t mind since he’s already seen them plenty of times and again he just likes listening to Ness, or Ness makes them watch cheesy romcoms that make Mike want to pull his hair out and he actively complains and makes fun of the characters the whole movie, which Ness doesn’t mind cause like yeah he’s right but they’re also always like “omg us” and Mike is like “what no nuh uh we’re so much cooler than them/I don’t act anything like that” and then Ness gives him a look and Mike is like “babe, stop, no, we’re/im not like that” and then Ness starts making a silly little impression of some shit Mike does and then Mike sees their point but is still stubborn abt it and just akskdslsdn you get the idea

-ok that’s all for now giggles

[apricotbuncakes]

Sander Sides fans: Did anyone else do this?

So when I was super-duper deep in the Sander Sides fandom (I'm still there just not as intensely!) I made my own sides, as many of us did. I decided to keep my creativity from splitting because I grew a love for macabre types of media very young, and never felt bad for enjoying it, even writing my own stories with morbid and gross themes. but that left me unbalanced because now I only had five sides instead of six, so what else should I have be a side? Well, I'm trans... so why not dysphoria!

And so, I designed a side based off of my dysphoria, the only girl side I have (the others are either guys or nonbinary with more masculine gender expressions). I wanted to make her evil, to make her intentionally rude, but I couldn't help but make her nice and kind like how I was when I was younger, which is why she's just oblivious to how she makes others feel rather than malicious because that's how I was. I was oblivious to how my comments may have hurt others.

So when she would talk to my other sides and try to give compliments, it had the unintended effect of making them self-conscious or dysphoric, and none of them told her this (because that's how I was in real life for a time: I didn't feel like I could tell people that they were causing me distress). She would tell my other sides that they look pretty, beautiful, ask them if they wanted to put on makeup or try cutsie outfits with her. She was alienated even in myself, because no one wanted to be around her, and she didn't understand why.

She didn't represent inherently bad things. She was the epitome of confidence, femininity, fun in self-expression. But it was the 'wrong kind' of self-expression (at least that's what I believed at the time). She didn't represent masculinity in the slightest, and it put the other sides off from her, because they had sworn it off the moment I came out as trans, because that's what would make people believe me when I said I was a boy. But they still needed her to be a scapegoat for all their bad body image issues, a model for what they should avoid doing. She was an example of 'bad' and 'wrong', even though she had been nothing but kind.

I made her a clown (the red curly hair, white foundation, all of it). She was frilly and pink, and very stereotypically feminine, something that I was struggling to admit that I actually liked when I first came out, cuz ya know, I wanted people to take me seriously as a trans guy (now I don't give a shit and wear what I want lol). She was a fun character though (and ended up inspiring the look for another OC). She was bubbly and cute, think Pinky Pie vibes. And because I wanted to pass it off and make it someone else's problem, I gave her my deadname.

I had heard of this trick where trans people name something else their deadname as a way to disconnect it from themselves and make them happier to hear it, because it remind them of something cool or cute, something they love. But I did it out of spite. And then... then I didn't.

Over time I stopped associating my deadname with myself, stopped responding to it most of the time. It was hers now, and not mine. And I was happy, because I designed someone who was happy to take that name away from me, happy to say that her name was Robin, and it was suddenly no longer my problem. And once everything she represented started to seem less and less bad (because she was a part of me, how could something she enjoy be bad?) I started to get more comfortable looking to her for outfit ideas. I asked myself "Would Robin approve of this? Would she like this outfit?" and then I no longer felt bad for wearing dresses and skirts and feminine things. I became happy and comfortable with it.

And then I rewrote the dynamics of my sides. They love her now, get confidence when she says they look pretty. They ask her for makeup advice and look to her for inspiration (even my creativity). She is no longer bad or wrong for being feminine, and it's what's made her so interesting.

The other sides don't always want to be feminine, and they've finally explained to her why. And she respects that, and only offers her opinions on their presentation when asked. And suddenly, my sides are at peace with each other.

So uh, yeah. Make yourself characters to represent parts of yourself. It's lots of fun and can also be super helpful for problem solving.

Here's my sides name in case you're curious: Logic: Arthur (Like King Arthur, because book nerd who likes fantasy lol) Morality: Milo (After the Milo and Otis movie) Creativity: Jackson (Named after a friend who inspires me) Anxiety: Clyde (No clue why, I just like this) Deceit: Avery (A very pretty name!) Dysphoria: Robin (Literally my deadname lol)

[collectorcookie]

My mhyk gender headcanons because i can and i will

Cain already suffered a lot coming out ouf wizard closet, i'm not gonna make him go through gender closet either, he can stay cis.

Snow and white ouji kings and especially kings of stagnation. Can't see them having been any different in the past. Cis guys.

Flores brothers are just. There. Just some dudes. Also cis.

Mithra has no gender identity however in my brain i think he goes from presenting as a man to woman for tiletta's honor or legacy or smth.

Oz is aromantic asexual agender autistic asocial amazing they are just A everything. Ancient being that remained dormant and then unleashed horrors upon the world and then went dormant again. 👍

⚠️Ms2 spoilers, skip to next one⚠️ brad getting thrown in prison and figuring out they're nonbinary will never not be funny to me. Ok baby congrats on your identity now reflect on your crimes.

TRANSFEM HEATHCLIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFF ok but heath needs a character arc where she rejects her position that she got thrust into against her will. I know she wants to live up to the blanchett family's name, but i want her to be more truthful to what she actually wants to do with her life.

Owen is transfem in the way of getting your woman gender but you ordered it on ebay. It's a woman. Something is a little off with her, but they're kind of a woman ig.

Ok so. This is gonna get longer. But first of all, fifi is SUUUCH a stereotypical Eldest Daughter™️ in northfam. Second of all, the amount of times fifi was like "does anyone wanna see me as a beautiful woman" DO YOU WANT TO BE A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN FIGGY??? And third of all, i know someone is gonna say "oooh, but they can shapeshift, if he truly was dysphoric he would have been a woman by now" WROOOONG have you seen figgy? Lying about every aspect of her identity ever? I wouldn't be surprised if she was lying to herself about this because of how much she has been lying all this time. And forth, most importantly, the role of god imposed upon her is usually masculine because humans have daddy issues, and she wants to live up to human expectations, so that's another reason to deny herself her womanhood.

Transmasc Shino. He would listen to "boys will be bugs" on repeat i just know he would

Transmasc Nero just has that kinda vibe idk

Ms2 also convinced me rustica is a trans guy and i like to imagine chloe is also a trans guy because of that and that rustica helped him work through stuff and neither of them changed their birthnames 👍👍👍

Arthur mommy issues would hit harder if she were a cis girl. Even now arthur is her mommy the queen's child, not the king. Who cares about the dying king, it's all about arthur and her mommy issues.

Cis woman faust. Saint Faust Saint Jean d'Arc, that's all i have to say to that

Shymurr toxic yuri ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Leno sheep shearing butch lesbian (iykyk)

Genuinely 0 ideas for riquet. Peculiar lovable critter.

[vinxwatches]

Nimona

i'm getting spoilers left and right on youtube for this, and it does look good, so might as well watch it.

oh, the hero of old is female. neat. also seeming equal opportunity female and male nights. cool.

oh, i mean i saw the mechanical prostatic, but the setting is different from what i expected. full on medieval but also tech i'd expect in cyberpunk. the houses are stereotypical medieval, but with neon and large screens. i fucking adore it.

oh, and the death of knight having to come from noble lines (so semi more accurate to how they started).

also the dress is amazing. evoking medieval or even armour feel, but made with modern cloth.

omg it's gay and i love it.

really interesting that one of the main characters is the knight in black. it's a trope that those are the evil ones. fun fact: that's rooted in "fuck the poor". painting your armour was a way of protecting it from things like rust. black paint was cheap to make. so saying someone wore black armour could be pointing out they had little coin to go around, that they were poor or had fallen on hard time. potentially seen as not worthy of being a knight. putting the poor, not noble, knight in black armour is thus carrying a lot of deeper rooted baggage. very cool. (look at me having some actual insight for once!)

wow, that was one damn strong scene. nice, oh... au, oh nevermind yay, ah fuck.

damn, did he remove more of his arm? in the scene it looked like it was cut mid upper arm, but here he attacked it starting at the shoulder. i also questioned how one would be able to cut trough armour and arm just like that, but probably with super swords. then again why don't they also have super armour?

oh, he doesn't have a sword... yea, makes sense with his past.

this world is just so neat and weird in the best way. tower as part of a wall, next to a bit of a junkyard. it's such a weird and awesome combination.

big fan of plan something something something.

Nimona's motivation makes this so interesting.

institute + surveillance state. how evil can you make the guys in white?

'i'd be easier if you were a girl be a girl' 'HA' 'i mean easier if you looked human' 'easier for who?' 'for you, other people aren't as accepting as me'. there's an lgbtq+ analogy in here... correction THIS IS 100% ANALOGOUS TO JUST PRETENDING TO BE STRAIGHT AND/OR CIS!

and now i can't stop hearing the trans analogies.

oh, i really like how they showed inner thoughts. also Really low how blatant they are with the gayness. the literal knight in shining armour says "i lost the man i love". there is no reasonable straight reading of this movie AND I LOVE IT!!!

"you want to show them?" "i'd love to" "lets break stuff" this line speaks to me in so many ways. i love it so much. i love the growth... into villainy? i mean that is the growth except he's not the villain? feels like the endpoint is where megamind ended up, but instead of going from evil with villainous ways to good with villainous ways it's from good with no ways to good with villainous ways.

oh, my soul. how dare you stab it. (ironic in hindsight)

damn... so many analogies that are just surface. like i'm not good at seeing analogies yet i see them.

oh my the exist was fucking perfect. i'd seen this scene before. it feels like the end... nope, we are just barely half way trough... the main threat is practically resolved, what are we going to do in the next 45 minutes? (a lot is credits)

oh, hey, the fear that "the other" could be anyone around you, and they are dangerous... do i need to point out the analogies some more?

truly heart-breaking.

if you want it to be a monster it's a monster you'll get.

don't you FUCKING DARE end it like that!!!!

DON'T!!!

in the credits: "love is love"

in case it wasn't obvious enough SHE BREATHES REAINBOW FIRE INTO A HEART SHAPED TUNNEL WITH BLUE, GREEN, YELLOW, ORANGE, RED, WHITE, PINK, LIGHT BLUE, BROWN AND BLACK!!!

in total: really good. the ending wasn't quite to my liking. on the one side very strong, on the other i'd have pefered if that last scene continues for at least a little bit, allow us to see just a bit more. also the credits were a bit long but that's extremely nitpicky. MUST WATCH!