#like… being a late bloomer is super weird as a whole

[capseycartwright]

this tiktok as a whole ruined my day but ESPECIALLY this bit. “I will never be someone’s first love” what if i screamed

[leviackermanscleaningbuddy]

Don’t know if this has been asked or mentioned yet for the Pack but what are their sexualities?

(Love you writing btw ❤️)

"This can be a sensitive subject for a lot of people for quite a few different reasons." You caution immediately, and everyone in the pack nods in agreement. You give a slight smile. "Most of us are very comfortable and settled into our chosen sexualities, so we're comfortable talking about and discussing it, but just know, even if you're not sure where you fall on the scale or are currently dealing with some internalized issues, you are always welcome and safe here with us.

"Yep." Chan nods seriously. "Out of the closet, in the closet, wherever you are currently, we love and support you and your choices and we understand the difficulties and stigmas with deciding and coming to to terms with who you are and how to present that."

"That being said-" You smile a bit bigger now. "I think it's pretty safe to say that we're all part of the queer community here."

"What part of this-" Hyunjin gestures to the other eight members of the pack with amusement. "-looks straight to you?"

You laugh. "So, the whole polyamory thing, that more comes from the wolf side of our genders and personalities. Wolves are not loners, they need a pack, but also, as humans and people, we needed to be okay with that too obviously for this to work."

"Yep." Jisung is nodding now. "Because your wolf side can be all gungho about the idea of a pack, but if you as a person don't believe you can love more than one person at the same time, then you're definitely going to struggle. And that's okay."

"As far as personal sexuality-" You muse, glancing around at the pack. I think we all kind of fall into the same spectrum, but with individual differences and different labels."

"I've known I was bisexual for as long as I can remember." You go on, looking thoughtful. "My parents didn't like the idea at first, but when I had my first girlfriend in high school, they came around. It's always just felt natural for me to find the beauty in both males and females."

"I'm also bi." Changbin adds, nodding his head. "Though unlike (Y/N), I think I fought more with alpha stereotypes for a long time-from myself mostly, but also other people-and that stopped me from really exploring and realizing that truth about myself until I graduated high school and moved away for college."

"And now he's just a fucking flaming queer." Hyunjin teases, grinning at the alpha, as he leans over and presses a kiss to his cheek, Changbin rolling his eyes.

"Yeah, something like that."

"I was kind of a late bloomer as well." Chan cocks his head, considering for a moment. "I didn't realize being bisexual was even an option honestly until I got to high school and met some pretty open minded classmates. I also made the realization coincidentally around the time I first met Felix."

He grins over at the omega and Felix grins back.

"Weird how that happens, huh hyung?"

"Yeah, weird." Chan agrees, grinning even bigger now.

Felix laughs at the head alpha's antics. "I'm bisexual as well. Definitely known since I was a kid, my parents were always super supportive, I was lucky that way. Helping Chan-hyung find out his sexuality in high school was also kind of fun, if you know what I mean."

Jisung guffaws and Chan blushes.

"I'm pansexual, and I think I've cognitively known for a long time." Hyunjin volunteers. "I've always never really cared much about genders-primary or secondary-and always just been attracted to people because of who they are, not what they are."

"Same." Jisung agrees, nodding enthusiastically. "Gender has never mattered to me when it came to partners. In the past or present. I remember when I was first figuring it out, I got a little freaked out, because one day in middle school, I had the thought 'wow, that's kind of hot' in reference to one of my fellow guy friends working out, and I thought I was having some sort of mental health break at thirteen. Turns out I'm just attracted to everyone-no matter the gender-who fits my checklist in personality."

He grins, and Hyunjin laughs in shared sympathy.

"I think I'm also pansexual, honestly." Jeongin interjects thoughtfully, and Jisung gives him an affectionate look across the room. "I used to think` maybe I identified as bisexual like noona and the hyungs, but the more I've grown and learned about myself, the more I can see that I'm attracted to traits and not body parts."

"And that's definitely okay." Chan nods at the youngest encouragingly. "Gender and sexuality is a fluid scale as far as I'm concerned, and you can change or adjust or tweak at any time as you find out more about yourself."

"I'm demisexual." Seungmin announces, shifting slightly to cross his arms over his chest. "You have to win my affection and loyalty by proving to me that we have an emotional connection."

"You also have to compete in a joust." Jisung teases, and the other beta smacks him lightly.

"Physical means nothing to me without the foundation there first." Seungmin continues, ignoring Jisung's jibes. "That's why I told noona 'no, but I could' when she first asked me if I liked her like I liked Changbin. The connection was being built between us, maybe more than study buddies at the time, but it wasn't quite there yet, not enough for me to feel romantic toward her."

"And I appreciated the honest. Even if I cried in the shower about it later." You tease back with a slight smile in the beta's direction.

"I am also demi." Minho shrugs a shoulder casually. "You could be the hottest person on the goddamn planet, but if I don't know you and I don't have anything built with you, I couldn't care less. Big dicks don't impress me if there's not big feelings behind them."

"Get that on a t-shirt." Hyunjin points at Minho, and Jeongin hurriedly whips out his phone and opens his notes app.

"On it, hyung. Writing this down for later reference."

[stoopid-turtle]

hello... 😅 uhm, first of all, i truly am sorry in advance for being awkward 😭 but for once i decided not to let my awkwardness keep me from sharing (what i think/hope are) positive thoughts with a stranger on the internet, so here i am.

i'm not around much and legit only made this acc bc like you i'm a late bloomer here and needed as many outlets for my yizhan/wangxian obsession as i could get my greedy hands on, in the big year of 2023... sigh. anyway, as an avid lover of meta/analysis posts since my early fandom days began around 15 (oof 🥲) years ago, finding your acc was such a lovely surprise. i agree with your views a LOT, and really appreciate how eloquent and well-written your posts are! even more so bc there's a lot i still don't know and most of the time the source material is very hard to reach and/or understand due to the language barrier, so having other turtles to rely on to access those, even if filtered by their own biases/opinions, is wonderful. besides, such input coming from a new fan is also comforting and imo refreshing, juxtaposed with that of older fans... it keeps the fandom alive and all that jazz. it's also very brave given how ruthless some folks can be on the internet, and on this corner in particular 😮‍💨 it just felt like reading my own thoughts written by someone else sometimes. i gasped and nodded at your posts soooo many times djskdjdj thank you for that!

(btw you followed me back the other day and i legit fangirled irl bc ??? whatttttt 😅 i still think it was an accident but okay omg djskdjdj AHEM. sorry)

then today i logged in and read your recent posts feeling squeamish about sharing more thoughts and as much as i 100% relate to you saying that kind of attention makes you anxious, i just... idk, i had to let you know i enjoy everything you post, even though adult life has kept me from being able to read it all so far. i understand you stepping back and i respect that decision, i'm not by any means asking you to go against what you know is best for you. at the same time, i can't help but hope you'll still show up every now and then bc your posts will be missed 🥲 i guess the whole motivation behind this is that it just made me sad to think your valuable insights will be something i'm yet again late to, if that makes sense?

djskdjdj again, i'm so sorry for being awkward and weird and dropping all of this on your inbox unprovoked. you don't have to reply (or read this AT ALL omg 😭😭), in fact i'm so embarrassed by this that you'd probably have to reach me through inquiry lmaooo 💀 anyway, have a great life, thank you so much for the great job, bjyxszd etc ❤️💚💛

Oh, don't be anxious! I'm really not a big deal.

Thank you for dropping into my inbox! I love hearing from other turtles, especially relative newbies, like myself! One of my fav parts of coming out of lurking mode is getting to talk to other people. I kinda follow back anybody who follows me, cause it seems polite? I don't know tumblr etiquette. I just follow the tags when I get the chance.

I appreciate the encouragement! I try to avoid dramatics, so I'm sorry for the upset last week. The situation is largely resolved, and I am feeling more okay. I kinda backed off because I wasn't sure of my footing here in fandom as compared to others, especially as I do think I have some takes that fall outside fandom consensus. Again, I don't mean to rock any boats and I'm not invested in convincing anybody that they should have the same opinions as I do. Hearing from turtles who do want me to continue posting gave me some more confidence there.

So, yeah, I expect I'll post some more as I have time. I'd like to post more on dd (cause he's my fav). I'd also like to try to figure out gg cause that dude is so confusing to me. I do have RL stuff going on, and I don't have the time to be super-active outside of occasional posts. But I'd like keep posting stuff. At least until I get all my Yizhan thoughts out.

[tal-vez-o-quizas]

How I became a Byler

It wasn't fate, it wasn't destiny, it was just simple dumb luck! 😜 

Get some water guys, this is long.

When Stranger Things first came out in 2016, my older brother was the only one who had a Netflix subscription at the time (I have one since 2 years ago) and I remember he said to my whole family (except my Dad who usually gets home late for work) that we had to watch this show that was super popular with Wynona Ryder, and that everyone loves it.

Now, of course we all knew who Wynona was! Even my Mom, who never remembers the name of actors or singers recognized her, lol. So we were like "Yeah, let's watch it!"

And we were all so impressed and flabbergasted by the show. My mom loved the cast and her favorite kid is Dustin cause she said he looked like such a naughty kid, haha. I absolutely loved it as well and I wanted to know more about Will, who seemed like such a lovely boy.

After that, I watched each season everytime it was released but I was not a hardcore fan at all. I didn't ship anybody, didn't analyze things, I just purely enjoyed it, found it very entertaining and thought that it was very well done.

When S3 came out and EP3 happened with the rain fight, I was like "Oh, are they gonna-? Nah, I don't think so... Will they? OMG" with displaying Will's sexuality. At the time it didn't occur to me that Will was struggling with his friend's exclusion and his sexuality at the same time (I know, dumb me). So I was like "I mean, he could be a late bloomer, I didn't get interested in boys until I was like 14" but now that I'm recalling middle school, I had crushes on different guys, lol. My mind was in denial because I just thought that Will being gay wouldn't be shown properly or in a sensible and serious way.

Then, when that first ST4 teaser ("With love, from Russia") dropped with Hopper in the snow, everyone and their mothers freaked out and the worldwide Stranger Things frenzy began all over again. I also remember that I saw some news online that said that ALL productions were suspended for Covid and that included ST or course. Me and my brothers were kinda mad because everyone knew ST was gonna be released like in 2 years or something, waaay later than it was supposed to.

Then, like a month and so before Volume 1 premiered, I don't recall how, but I watched the rest of the ST4 teasers (002, 003 and 004 with the Hawkings gang, the Hawkins Lab and the Cali one) and I got so excited! I started to watch a lot of the cast press interviews, videos and content, then I rewatched ST again, and was so surprised to realize, all over again, that it's such a great show and the cast is amazing. But my Byler senses were still dormant. The idea of Mike and Will romantically never crossed my mind (again, sorry for my ignorance).

Which is weird because I'm good at clocking queer characters.

Like, back in college, we had to watch a movie about this family who pretended to be someone else everytime they moved; they were imposters in a way. Thanks to the camera angles, the fact that he seemed uninterested in any girls and micro-expressions from the actor, I said to this girl next to me in class "He's gay" regarding the son in the family, and she was like "What? How do you know?" and I just told her to keep watching. Indeed, towards the middle of the movie, the guy (the son in the family, who was a teenager) went to this party; he started talking with this guy and they got in a car I think? Or was it outside the house the party was at? Can't recall. Anyways, the guy got closer to his school colleague and tried to kiss him, but the other guy flinched and said "I'm sorry, I don't feel that way" or something like that, he left, and the girl next to me was like "You were right!"

I've always been very open-minded, but I think I was used to watch media where queer characters where displayed as queer or in love with their friends in their late teens, so Byler was not something I ever considered.

After rewatching all the seasons, ST4 Vol 1 premiered on May 27th and boy, was I excited! Before that, I watched the first trailer, Sadie on Fallon, Millie on Fallon, the cast interviews on the ST4 premiere days ago and I knew that they were going to move forward with Will being in love with Mike thanks to that cut on the trailer when Mike and El are skating and Will stares at their hands. So I was like "Oh, what are they gonna do with Will?"

I was free from work on that Friday (it was not planned at all and I did absolutely nothing on that day, woohoo!). I started watching ST4 around 10AM in the morning in my living's room TV.

Now, I was incredibly hooked since the intro (I knew right away that El didn't murder those kids because the way their bones and limbs were broken didn't align with how El has attacked people before), got very interested after El said that Will was painting a lot and that maybe it was for a girl, clocked what was gonna happen later in the season with the basketball game and Eddie's campaign (Mike saying that they thought Vecna was killed by Kas, Eddie declaring that Vecna lives, the 11 that Dustin threw and it wasn't enough to win) as well as who actually massacred those kids in the Lab back in 1979 after Chrissy was taken by Vecna.

I found Mike so weird and odd in EP2 but I didn't know what it was; his outfit was horrendous and after EP3, I said to myself "Hold on, Will is in love with Mike in the same season when Mike can't say I love you to El's face? That's no coincidence" and kept on watching.

I knew Peter was Vecna immediately since he appeared on EP5 because there was not another new character that fit the vibe but I didn't know he was Henry Creel or 001, lol. Him being 001 was there for us to notice but I didn't, for some reason, haha.

I stopped watching on EP5 I think, in the afternoon. Did some stuff and then picked it up at 9PM.

After the master reveal and plot in EP7, I went to Twitter and started to check people's opinions or takes for this season, then I saw a tweet that linked Kaypeace21's "Why I no longer think Mike is bi, but gay" post, saying that Will loved Mike and Mike reciprocated, and I was like "WHATT?! OMG! This looks promising" and read the whole thing.

When I tell you that I felt like I had an epiphany it's downplaying things (not an exaggeration). It felt exactly the same as when I watched Maze Runner's "The Death Cure" on theaters and Newt threw Thomas against the wall in the middle of the film after screaming at him and I felt such an insurmountable amount of tension between those two characters that I started to read Newtmas fanfiction when I got home.

Everything on Kaypeace21's post seemed very well thought, it made sense and after that I read more Byler theories as well as overall theories for the supernatural, Vecna and more. I got obsessed, became a proper fan of the show and the characters, and waited for Vol 2 to drop. Stranger Things actually replaced my Heartstopper fixation.

The show was more popular than ever, the hype was so real. Even my brothers, who haven't still watched Season 4, said that they read that The Duffers "forgot" Will's birthday and I was like "yeah, I don't really believe them" because I actually do not believe anything that comes out of The Duffers or Shawn Levy's mouths until I see it with my own eyes, lol.

Anyways, when Vol 2 premiered, I woke up at 4AM on July 1st, I think, to watch it and when we got to Will saying "Can I show you something?" to Mike, I actually paused my laptop, took a deep breath and started pacing in my room, haha. I was like "Sh*t, so early on the episode?" because I felt I was gonna have a heart attack. I was flabbergasted, shocked and a bit sad after the van scene, but found it so beautifully heartbreaking.

Now, I'm very objective and being the Libra that I am (not that I believe that much in Astrology, but there is a degree of certainty to it), I always see all sides of things and I do not consume media in a subjective way only. When Mike "confessed" to El on Surfer's Boy Pizza, I stood very quiet and watched the whole thing, but felt nothing, because it came across as very clichéd, lies were spouted by Mike and the whole situation happened in the middle of Max getting killed by Vecna and everyone was at the brink of death. It felt like an empty moment.

Then, towards the end of Vol 2, I was like "Well, Mike and Will seemed closer than ever at least".

I checked Tumblr and everyone was losing their minds. Me as well, but in a more subdued way. Then, the Byler hope was restored pretty much like Aang restored peace in Book 3 of The Last Airbender, I saved so many Byler blogs on my browser, visited them everyday, liked all their posts, learned more and more about the show, read even more theories about many things and a few weeks ago created a Tumblr specifically to indulge on my Byler hyper-fixation and here I am.

Byler Tumblr has made me more aware of symbolisms, plot devices and how to digest media more acutely. Thank you guys so so much.

Love that for me!

[pacexlikexaxghost]

Pearl isn't listening, still hiding her face in Bismuth's shoulder, and forcing herself to breathe carefully.

Four seconds in, hold, four seconds out

Bismuth shifts to put her arm around Pearl, and Pearl hides in her side now. Neither yet says anything, but Bismuth knew Pearl was upset about something, and immediately moved to comfort her.

What's said is, ❝Yesterday? The newest of new recruits! And from another dimension, eh? Sounds like things have been strange without me!❞ She kicks at the floor. ❝And when did we start building bases out of wood!?❞

She's going to ask. Pearl has to ask. But... not... right now. She's had quite enough of stress for a while right now. If Bismuth is avoiding it, Pearl is going to let her.

❝The wood part is my house,❞ Steven says. ❝The temple is there.❞ He points at the temple door. This is all very strange! And he'd guessed that Bismuth and Pearl were close, but like... Pearl hasn't stopped touching Bismuth. She literally threw herself into Bismuth's arms.

That... belonging joke was... weird, as was Pearl stopping her from saying something to Garnet, but still. They were clearly SUPER close to Bismuth. Garnet hasn't stopped grinning.

❝So anyone wanna explain to me who this is?❞ Amethyst says, and that's what draws Pearl out with a little giggle into her hand.

❝This is Bismuth; one of the original Crystal Gems. The first to join after Rose and I started it. Bismuth, this is Amethyst, F-5 C-8XM, if I'm not mistaken, but we don't have any duplicates around. She was the last ever Gem produced on Earth. She was a late bloomer from the Prime Kindergarten.❞

❝You don't say!❞ Bismuth laughs. ❝Nice to meet all of you.❞ She pauses. ❝Where's everyone else?❞

Pearl just shakes her head. Not right now. Not right now.

❝Pearly?❞ She says, her voice considerably softer than a moment before. ❝Everything alright?❞

❝Later.❞

Bismuth seems to hesitate for a second, but Garnet nods at her too, and she puffs out a breath. ❝Alright! So what's their story?❞ She nods at Valor and Flicker. ❝How'd we get tangled up with people from another dimension?❞

❝I saw Valor flying over the sea the night before last. They're, unfortunately, stranded here. We're going to help them get access to their home again, and they've offered to help us at times as well.❞

❝They already have!❞ Steven says, throwing his hands in the air. ❝Yesterday! There was this whole thing with Lapis borrowing the ocean that they helped us resolve.❞

❝A lapis lazuli is here?❞

❝Oh,❞ Pearl shakes her head. ❝No. She left, after Steven healed her gem. She just wanted to return home.❞

❝Why would she want to do that?❞ Bismuth snorts. ❝Pretty awful place, Homeworld.❞

❝... not necessarily at her rank.❞ At least, as she probably remembers it. Pearl can't fathom she'll have a warm welcome home, given that Homeworld put her in that mirror in the first place, but that might have been Lapis' first brush with the darker aspects of their home. She might not know. ❝... And you don't know who she might have left behind.❞

Steven is a little confused by the conversation. He doesn't know much about Homeworld- the gems being from space is still kinda new information from Lapis wanting to go home off planet- but Bismuth doesn't seem to like it.

But also this is kind of sad. He doesn't want things to be sad.

❝Soooooooo,❞ Steven says, drawing out the o, ❝Tell us a bit about yourself Bismuth! Obviously Garnet and Pearl know you, but the rest of us don't!❞

❝Well I was made to be an architect and builder,❞ she practically sneers the words, the grins. ❝But turned my skillset to making weapons for rebels instead. I personally outfitted every physical weapon and piece of armor the Crystal Gem army used.❞

❝I still have many of those swords you made me,❞ Pearl says, smiling up at her. ❝I take good care of them.❞

❝Maybe I should make you a new pair.❞

❝Are you trying to sweet talk me, Bismuth?❞

Both burst into giggles after that, and Steven rocks back on his heels smiling. Yeah, that's better.

Valor and Flicker tensed when Garnet popped the bubble inside. What if-?

But she wasn't. She was fine, she was herself.

Rose bubbled a perfectly fine gem and didn't tell her closest friends.

Flicker didn't understand Bismuth's joke. They looked to Valor to see if he was as confused as them, but he was just watching the reunion with a soft smile.

Then the conversation took a more awkward turn. Especially for Steven. Titan, having to explain to someone that their friend was gone and he had her gem . . . That didn't sound pleasant. At least Bismuth seemed to be taking it fairly well?

Though Valor did take note of the fact that she hadn't answered the question as to what had happened. She asked where Rose, the person who bubbled her, was, but she never said what happened for her to have been poofed in the first place.

They were both surprised when Bismuth asked about recruits, implying more than just Amethyst. Was she talking about them?

Well. They did help out yesterday. Did that count as being a part of the Crystal Gems? It wasn't necessarily going to be a one-time thing, with Valor's offer to help with later missions if needed as well.

Speaking of Valor, he stepped forward to introduce them both. "I'm Valor, and this is Flicker."

Flicker raised their hand in greeting. "Yo."

"We just met everyone yesterday. We're also magic, and we're from another dimension."

[buckleyblueyes]

buddie + coming out

Jess this got...so fucking long. I'm putting it under a cut. (send me a ship and a word and I'll give you a head canon)

Okay, so Buck first. I imagine that Buck first realized he wasn’t straight when he was in high school. He didn’t mention it to his parents because it’s not like they were that interested in who he was dating anyway. But he did come out to Maddie back then. They were driving around her jeep (coming out in cars is Real okay) and there was some cheesy pop music on the radio (it was the early 2000s) and he didn’t have the word “bisexual” just yet, but she asked if he was dating anyone/if he had a crush on someone and he said “uh...yeah. His name’s Jamie.” and she just took it in stride. Just kind of “oh, okay.” and then he added quickly “I still like girls, too, though” and since she was already through college at this point, so she knew sexuality wasn’t just gay and straight, so she didn’t even blink. “So, tell me about him” and he did. When he was done, she grinned, told him she wanted to meet Jamie some time, and turned up the radio. They drove around some more singing along to whatever cheesy pop song played next.

As far as Buck coming out as an adult, at some point in his late teens or early twenties he found the word bisexual. He never really tried to hide it, but he also never went out of his way to broadcast it. He never felt ashamed of his sexuality, per se, but he never felt proud of it either. It was just like...sometimes he dated guys, y’know? Anyways so flash forward to when he joins the 118. He doesn’t make a big deal out of it, but at some point early on Hen describes him as “a straight white boy” and he’s like “bold of you to assume I’m straight” “you’re not?” “not even a little” and leaves it at that. Sometimes he mentions hookups with guys during his 1.0 phase, but other than that he doesn’t really talk about it. He comes out to Eddie sometime in season 3, when he’s bemoaning his loneliness and Eddie says “you’ll find the right girl someday” and Buck suddenly realizes he’s never actually told Eddie he’s into guys so he responds. “Right person, actually.” and Eddie blinks twice. “What?” and Buck sighs. “I’ll find the right person, I’m bisexual.” and Eddie blinks again. “Oh...Cool…” and then they just move on.

Which brings us to Eddie. Eddie does not come to the realization that he’s queer until much later in life. He worries he might be gay in high school, because everyone else is interested in dating and girls, and he’s just. Not. Everyone always tells him that he and his good friend Shannon would make a good couple, and he’s pretty sure she has a crush on him, but he just likes her as a friend. Until one day, the summer after they graduate from high school, he looks at her and his heart starts racing and his palms are sweating but it’s not from the Texas humidity and oh my god. Is this what liking someone feels like? This is terrible, actually. But he was right about Shannon having a crush on him, so they start dating, and it’s great. And Eddie is relieved because falling in love with Shannon means he’s straight. He was just a late bloomer, like his mom said.

Anyways, so flash forward about twelve years and Eddie is starting to think he was wrong before. Oh, God, he was so wrong. He’s not sure when Buck went from his best friend to someone he was falling in love with, but it’s too late to go back now. But it’s fine. It’s fine. Buck is straight anyway, so it’s not even worth getting worked up over because it’s never going to happen and--Buck isn’t straight. Oh, hell.

And then he meets Ana, and she’s, well. She’s pretty, and he likes that she guesses his name right, but then he blows up at her and also she’s his son’s teacher, so that’s kind of weird. And then the pandemic hits, and he’s forced into close quarters with Buck and it gets impossible to deny his feelings to himself any longer. But he doesn’t know what to do about it. The problem for Eddie is that he’s only really had strong feelings for two people ever in his life, and the word ‘bisexual’ doesn’t to fit. More like ‘these two people in particular-sexual’ but that doesn’t really make sense.

So, when Ana comes back into his life, it seems like the easy way out. Nobody has to know that he has all these weird, confusing, not-heterosexual feelings. He’s 33 years old, who has a sexuality crisis at 33? Of course, the universe has other plans. He gets shot, he almost dies, and he realizes he doesn’t really feel anything for Ana and he probably never will, and predictably by the time he’s finally ready to confront his feelings and sexuality, Buck is dating Taylor. Great.

Anyways, so Eddie goes to Hen for help figuring himself out because if anyone would be able to help, his married lesbian friend seems like a very good bet. And he’s right. He explains how he’s only ever been in love with two people and that gender doesn’t seem to be a big factor in it, and she points him to the concept of asexuality and aromanticism, and more specifically demisexuality/demiromanticism and it just clicks for him. He wasn’t a “late bloomer” after all. So, I guess Hen is the first person Eddie comes out to. And he doesn’t really feel the need to come out to anyone else at that point because it’s not really anyone’s business.

Eventually, he and Buck get together. And for Buck, telling people isn’t a big deal because he’s been out as bi for years. Eddie isn’t reluctant to tell their found family, or even the rest of the 118. But he is nervous to tell his biological family. He doubts they’ll be too happy about him being with a man, let alone understand the concept of demisexuality. He starts with Abuela and Pepa, the family he’s closer to (literally and figuratively). He comes out to both of them at the same time, at Abuela’s, over a home cooked meal. He tells them that he and Buck are dating, that he loves him. Pepa puts a hand over his and gives it a gentle squeeze. “I’m proud of you,” she says. “It was about time you put that boy out of his misery.”

Eddie chokes on a surprised laugh. Then he looks at Abuela. Abuela is quiet for a minute before standing and walking around the table to where Eddie is sitting. She pulls him up to standing and gives him a tight hug. “Te quiero.”

Next he comes out to his sisters, who are pretty chill about the whole thing, and lastly his parents. His parents liked Buck when they met briefly, so if Eddie was going to be with a man, at least he picked a good one. And given that the rest of the family already knows and is supportive, it’s not like anyone would be on their side if they had a problem with it, and they want to keep seeing their grandson. So they just say “okay” and accept it in the most passive way possible.

Anyways this got SUPER DUPER long and detailed, so I’m going to end it with this: After they’ve been out (both Eddie coming out and Buck and Eddie being out as a couple) for awhile, Hen drags them to that year’s LA Pride with her, Karen, and the kids, and they end up meeting up with Michael, David, Harry and May there (and Bobby who is wearing a t-shirt that says “Free Dad Hugs” in rainbow letters, Buck takes him up on the offer immediately).

[jehovahhthickness]

Hi Billie! I have to say I’ve been reading your blog on and off for a few years and I have to say I’m surprised to see you have anon on! Not in a condescending way or anything I just know a while back you had it off to avoid weirdos and I’m glad you opened it back up, hope no weirdos are still bothering you. And I did want to ask your advice/take on this

I’m turning 24 in 2 months. I know it’s quite young but I also feel like I’m getting older and I have nothing to show for what. I don’t do anything but work from home. I live with my mom. I’m happy that I’m working, I’m paying off my loans, I started investing and I’m not ashamed of living with my mom because I’m saving so much money and time here (even if she does irritate the hell out of me from time to time as she’s also working from home.) I think the thing that I’m most bummed out about is how non existent my social/love/sex life is.

I’m turning 24 and I’ve never been kissed, never had a boyfriend, never been on a date, never had sex. It kind of bums me out seeing that I’ve never done these things because of my strict parents, focus on school, and overall anxiety, shyness, and nonexistent self esteem. I’m quite nerdy with big glasses, not too attractive honestly, very shy and socially anxious, not good at talking to people I don’t know (I have improved significantly but just making friends and dating is a whole other demon). I look 15 and I feel like I dress and act like it. All of the people I know have done something one way or another and I hate being the odd one out. I feel as though I’m only meant to watch people do these things not experience it myself.

My only option is dating apps and I feel like this is hard for me too because I’m so conscious of myself and others. Somehow it can worse talking to someone through messaging? And I have weird standards where I don’t want someone too ugly or too attractive or someone with fuckboy vibes 😂 never got pass that stage but I do dread all of that. Dating confuses me, relationships confuse me, sex confused me. It’s also so scary and overwhelming, hearing stories and advice of all degrees. I do think I want to do these things but I feel like so many people my age have “experience” and it’s getting too late to do these things? I don’t think I’ll ever catch up? Just feeling a bit hopeless and bummed out about how this aspect of my life has turned out and is continuing to be. Thank you for listening

Aw hi my fellow late bloomer 💓

I genuinely feel like you’re putting way too much pressure on yourself and it’s so unfair because society does that enough.

I definitely relate to having super strict parents who basically forbade you to date and have friends and to just focus on school. Which I think is such a huge disservice that they did to us because we have to spend 95% of our lives being social and we need to learn how to properly communicate with others and that shit starts at home!!!

I legit had the same conversation last night with a friend who just turned 20 this year.

I totally feel you on pretty much everything you said. Even though I’m a little more experienced than you, I still feel like I’m not as experienced as everybody else when it comes to dating and having sex. I find myself just watching life pass me by as well. It fucking sucks.

As far as your looks … you say you look 15, is it because you still live at home and have no control over your clothing choices? Or is it that you don’t know where to start when it comes to dressing yourself? If you wanna switch up your look, there are so many blogs and YouTube channels where you can find people with your body type and the style you want to have and start there for inspiration.

As far as social anxiety goes, which I have as well but I feel like it stems from being uncomfortable and being forced to be around people I don’t like.

But when I am around people I do like, I’m more comfortable and outgoing. I’m wondering if it’s the same for you?

Your 20s is such a really confusing ass time and I want you to know that it’s fucking ok that you don’t have all the answers or know where to start.

I just feel like you’re literally just getting started with your life and so you have sooo much time ahead of you to have all of these fun and exciting experiences.

I highly suggest that you take it one day at a time. You tackle your self confidence and body image right now. Then your social anxiety and learning to speak to people without screaming on the inside later on. Etc etc

You do what you’re comfortable doing right now.

You’re going to be just fine and everything will fall into place for you. Just remember that not all flowers bloom at the same time, babe.

[chrisevansstitties]

I don't know if the auto save function works on mobile, but on pc it should. I just had to delete a whole bunch of our conversations from my drafts. So, you might want to check there and see if the same happened for you.

You're using markers? 😲 That's so organized. Teach me your ways.

Wednesday would be so possessive. But she'd be so in denial about it. I could just imagine some girl flirting with Tyler, and Wednesday coming up with ways to put the girl in harms way. Tyler would be completely oblivious to her jealousy until that point, and they he'd confront her. She'd still try and deny it until she just blurts it out, surprising even herself.

I hadn't even thought of interspecies relationships possibly being taboo. Enid's mom would probably be one of those people. Especially with the fact that Enid is considered a late bloomer. She'd think it be best if Enid of all people stick within her race to keep her genes pure; Even if she isn't as strict with that rule with her other kids. She'd push for Enid not to be with Ajax, and continue being down on Enid in general. Of course her dad won't say anything. And her mom trying to pull her away from Ajax could be one of the many reasons she leaves her family pack.

I could see Tyler thinking he might have to tread lightly around Wednesday's family. Then being taken aback on how he's immediately treated as if he's a part of it. There would be no hard feelings at all from any of them. Gomez and Morticia would treat them like their own son. Because to them he is. He's they're daughter's suiter and they love him already. Gomez & Pugsley would include them in all their father/son bonding plans. Donavan would be too. Which is where the apology happens & Gomez not knowing what he's talking about. Donovan would be a little weirded out on exactly what their idea of bonding is. But Tyler, more likely Hyde, loves it!

I don't get the reason people think Donovan is vicious. He's more old fashioned in my opinion. He cares, but he was raised to be strong. And taught to raise his son the same way. And him seeing his wife suffer the way she did, did a number on him. He doesn't know how he should handle it. And he definitely wasn't originally brought up on the supernatural. Fran could've been his introduction to all of this. And now he's an adult, she's gone, he's the sheriff. He has to be all these things and he's doing it the best way he knows how. All while probably never properly grieving. He needs help. Which is also why, even though he might not completely understands them, he loves and needs the Addams in his life. Even if he might complain a little he'd never miss a bonding trip, event, or anything they invite him to. He'll love them, he'll just be hardheaded about it.

I hope Tyler & Donovan bond somehow. They finally have one of many talks about what happened, how it effected them, and how it led them to make the decisions they made. And realize what they did wrong and tell each other how much they love the other. And then kick ass together, because why not? They deserve to put the people that hurt them to rest. Weather Fran is back or not I want them to bond.

I couldn’t have said it better myself. Enid & Wednesday are sisters. Nothing more. Yes, they love each other, but there's nothing romantic about the love they have for each other. Anyone pushing that idea are just forcing it. Like, jumping down people throats who don't agree. They can like what they like, but they need to calm down with that.

Wednesday blinks like everyone else. It's not that serious. Not that Xavier was in the running in the first place. Again, I have nothing else to say about him. 🤷🏽‍♀️

I feel like the Gorgons are cool, calm people in general, but super badass when they need to be. They don't show their tough sides until absolutely necessary. I bet they definitely have a cool ass backstory. It's either widely known, or kept secret between only their kind. Which is why they're so cautious about how they use their powers now. I was so happy when Ajax got to explain himself to Enid and it wasn't some long drawn out misunderstanding. They don't derserve that. On to Bianca, I think her plot about her family should have its own focus too and not treated as a useless subplot or throwaway episode. It should be handled with care. And be a central point of a lot of bonding moments between characters. Bianca and her friends. Enid should be involved too given her family history. Bianca could bond with her friends being appreciative of her friends sticking with her through everything, and them being all, “of course we'd never leave you.” Her & Enid can grow closer, maybe even almost becoming best friends. Enid can stop idolizing her and become close with her. The plot would probably crossover and everyone would come together and fight the cult.

Even if the vampires are a hundred years old I hope, instead of them just looking younger, say like maturity wise they'd be a teenager in vampire years. You get what I'm saying? Like to older vampires they'd still be children and they act like it too.

Yeah, I hope Eugene has his period of still wanting Enid, but he'd eventually get over it. He'll find his own happiness. He deserves it. He'll find a girl of his own that appreciates him.😊Someone who loves bees the way he does.

I feel like Wednesday would be the person who wants so much not to be like her mother but in the long run she'd be most similar to her. Like, she said she'd never fall in love at the beginning of the series and almost has a boyfriend by the end of it. 😂 She'll realize that Morticia isn't that bad after all. Or the writer could just retcon her hatred she has for her mother and they’d have an adoring relationship.

My boy Lucas better be more prominent later on. I want to see him grieving his father, but finding his purpose. I want him and Tyler to come back together to be friends again. I want to see more interactions between him & Bianca and all of her people. And I want him to struggle finding his spot in the pack, but in the end to realize just how important he really is.

Exactly. Let people enjoy what they enjoy. If they don't want it to be some whole political statement they have that right. Just because you do doesn't mean you have to force it on everyone else. And I don't know why you would want to because look at what people forcing their political views has already done to society. So you want to be just like them? 🙄

I can't imagine trying to scroll and do this.

Can we talk about how Wednesday was in the most none triangle love triangle ever? Like, Wednesday and Tyler were doing their own thing meanwhile Xavier was just kind of there. Now if Wednesday liked Xavier too that would be a proper triangle, but that’s not what played out. She was always upfront with him that she was there for Tyler. He was just guy on the side who had a thing for a girl who’s into someone else. It was never a triangle. It almost confuses why anyone calls it a triangle at all.

[pizzaboat]

So I've seen alot of people give their theory's and opinions on what's going to happen to Lilith in season 2 of the owl house, whether or not she's forgiven, where she's going to stay and how she'll act I guess, and the major thing being if she's redeemed or how redeemed she is.

I'm just going to throw my own thoughts out there and say that obviously there's still alot to do with her character. I also have no intention of bashing her character, I actually enjoy when she's on screen. I do like her but she's still problematic. So buckle up this is a long one.

To get my thoughts straight I'll break what I have to say down into parts, cause I get distracted easily.

First up im going to say I think she is far from redeemed. My impression of her is that she regrets cursing her sister, but she also finds some sort of sick pride in it too, as shown in agony of a witch when she screams " then why were you so easy to curse!?".

She also has no problem hurting literal children to get what she wants either, but that's another issue I'll discuse.

Lilith seems to resent her younger sister to an extreme, unhealthy degree. I could sit here and theorise about her child-hood and teen years wondering what could have created such insecurities in her, but im not going to. That is irrelevant to the point im trying to make. What's important to keep in mind though is that she was "perfect prissy Lilith"- the covention growing up, Eda was good at almost everything, and that Lilith cursed Eda to secure a spot in the emperors coven when Lilith was 18-19 and Eda was 16-17.

Is she redeemed ?

No i don't think she is even half way there. She cursed Eda in her sleep to win a fight. Lied for over thirty years to Eda about that curse. Mocked Eda for the symptoms of a curse she put on her "Why don't you go home and rest wouldn't want you breaking hip"- sense and insensitivity . she kidnapped Luz to use her against her sister, used Luz as a human meat shield in her and Eda's battle during agony of a witch, was generally quite rude to Luz when she wasn't dangling her over a pit of spikes, and also SPIKES.

Taking on half of a curse she put on her sister in the first place doesn't begin to cover the trauma and pain she's caused in the name of healing her sister, enforcing the emperors laws and joining said emperors coven.

I would also like to point out that she had a way to elevate her sisters pain all this time but she didn't. I've seen arguments like she trusted the emperor to heal her sister but I can already point out so many things wrong with that.

even if she did trust him, no normal person could sit by and watch any family member they claim to care about suffer, if she trusted the emperor so much she would have split the curse sooner, (providing Eda would have let her of course) and had him heal her or Eda both.

But she didn't do that she lied to her sister for years, partly because she was scared of losing Eda and also Eda's reaction which was, and would always be unbridalled rage. but also to an extent it suited her, it suited her to be the successful sibling, the sibling doing things "right" Lilith seems to be as I said before extremely insecure, and I think that just going off the episodes she was in and the impression the show puts forward.

If what I've noticed is correct, Lilith has spent her life in her sisters shadow, bullied in school as revealed in the end of something ventured something framed, nobody took her seriously due to her appearance and probably being a late bloomer in a lot of ways. She would have jumped at the chance to be given the same respect that Eda and other talented witches or well off, higher up witches recieved.

In other words the emperors coven fed Liliths' battered ego, telling her what she wanted to hear.

It makes sense that she wouldn't want to let that go, but in the context of what has happened and the fact she seemed to still try and stick with the emperors coven before Belos sent her to be executed along with eda and king.

She isn't redeemed, she probably doesn't see much wrong with how she's behaved up until now(besides cursing Eda) and there's still alot of work for her to do. She only split half the curse because her expulsion from the coven forced her to address a mistake she made for once.

Season 2 and maybe more seasons looks like where she'll be earning her redemption. Hopefully she'll be forced to face more of her flaws and short comings and work on them.

Will she be forgiven?

Lilith from what has been shown has hurt;

Eda Luz, King, Amity, Willow and Gus. They all have different reasons to be hostile towards her.

Eda

She cursed Eda and almost subjected her to a faith worse than death, lied to her, mocked her. Kidnapped her apprentice and almost got Luz killed a number of times,using her as a sheild. She dragged Luz into the whole messed up rivalry. I don't think Eda will forgive her emediatly, after all, even if she can forgive Lilith for what she did to her, she would also have to forgive her for what she did to Luz.

She essentially kidnapped Edas' surrogate daughter, Eda was much angrier about Luz's suffering than her own "you hurt luz, you cursed me. before anything turns me to stone I'm going to tear you apart!" - young blood, old souls

Yeah Eda was fit to murder her sister, taking some of the curse probably only got rid of her homicidal desire towards Lilith, thats it.

Luz

I've seen some people make fan content in which Luz immediately forgives Lilith or comes round eventually to her when Lilith acts nice around the house.

That seems super out of character for Luz, sure Luz is characterised to be kind and sweet but if the final proves anything its that she has a ruthless streak that comes out when she tries to protect the people she loves, her family. Lilith has threatened the people she cares about. I don't see Luz letting that slide, and she would probably still be on guard. Luz may have accepted her help in young blood old souls, but that was only because she wanted to save Eda she told Lilith she didn't like her "whole deal" and she meant it.

Lilith would have to prove she's really changed for the better for luz to begin to for give her.

King

I like the idea of King and Lilith becoming friends simply for comedy perposes, if King were to forgive her and I think he'd be one of the closest to it out of the main characters.

They'd be a force of sheer stupidity and ego they'd be bad and good for each other, King weirdly enough would be more emotionally mature since he's learned things like you can't be posesive over people in really small problems it's a lesson Lilith needs to learn since she seems to resent Luz to an extent, thinking Luz was taking her sister from her "Edalyn is with her family, her real family. Go back to your world human this one is ours" - agony of a witch

Of course before this she needs to also earn his forgiveness, he wasn't there for agony of a witch but he did experience the fear and worry of losing eda in young blood, old souls the only person he had up until then was Eda " King and I, we don't have much in this world. we only have each other"- A lying witch and a Warden. Lilith helping rescue Eda might have helped improve his opinion of her, but Lilith would have to get over herself first to begin her redemption.

Hooty

I don't think Hooty would hold a grudge, mostly because he's comic relief and weird. Since I personally think no one in the owl house would be bothering with her, and I see her being forced to live In the shed. I think Hooty would be her only company and I think it would be unexpected and really funny if he's the first person/bird thing to open her eyes to her awful behaviour. You gotta start somewhere and Hooty is it.

Amity, Gus and Willow

I think Gus and Willow will be stand-offish until Luz and King forgive Lilith.

Once Lilith has developed more as a person she owes Amity an apology for how she behaved as a teacher. Amity would be mad after the covention episode, but almost killing her crush would make her protective of Luz, and wary of her in general.

Conclusion

Lilith hasn't been redeemed in my opinion, there's still alot of growth she needs to go through, she's made alot of terrible mistakes and decisions, its what makes her so interesting. I like her but she's a sh*t person, but she can learn to be less of a sh*t person.

I'm aware this is a kids show and she probably won't get all this development or she could get different character development and that would be awesome, its just my thoughts and opinions and I'm really excited for season 2.

[thatsamericano]

She Tastes Like Apple Juice and Peach

Pairing: Nyo America/Nyo Romano. Mention of Nyo Romano/male OC, mention of nyo Ukraine/nyo Canada. Human AU. 

Rating/Warnings: Teen. Compulsory heterosexuality and internalized lesbophobia from the POV character. Mix of fluff and angst, with an ambiguously sad ending. (The pining is mutual, but they’re not ready to talk about it yet.)

Word Count: 2337

Summary: Amelia kisses Chiara when she’s just 14 as “practice” for her future boyfriend. Amelia doesn’t even know if she wants a boyfriend, but she also doesn’t know how to tell her best friend the truth.

A/N: Title from “She” by Dodie. I use “Yuri” as the name for nyo Ukraine, which I got from this post by @feynavaley. This fic will be up on AO3 soon.

Amelia was glad to catch up with Chiara, and glad that she actually got to hug her and speak to her in person. She couldn’t begrudge Kiki for spending time with her family in Italy, and it wasn’t like Amelia had been completely alone with nothing to do this summer. But she had missed her best friend, and it was nice to spend the night together eating junk food, watching TV, and enjoying each other’s company.

Amelia liked hearing about Chiara’s cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents, but the one thing she could have done without hearing about was this boy Chiara had met. He lived in the house next door to her grandparents, and he was named Salvatore. Chiara’s eyes sparkled when she talked about how cute and nice Salvatore was, and her cheeks flushed a shade similar to the color of her ruffled rose pajama top. Amy smiled, but she felt a little queasy when she heard the name the special emphasis Chiara put on his name. Maybe she had eaten too much popcorn, or maybe it was the fact she’d never really felt like that about a boy. Gilbert and Magnus were her friends, but they were in the grade above her and treated her like a little sister. Tolys and Kiku were also fun to hang out with, but she never got butterflies around them, and definitely not like the overwhelming sensations Madeleine seemed to experience around her friend Yuri. Many times, Maddie blushed bright red as she shyly confided in her twin about something sweet Yuri had said or done. Amelia had never felt the urge to gush like that about anyone (except Chiara, which didn’t really count, since they were best friends and both girls).

Maybe it was like her dad had said, and Amelia was just a “late bloomer.” Or maybe she was weird for not getting crushes on people. She always felt strange whenever girls her age started talking about the guys they liked, because she never had anything to say. She felt strange now, because she couldn’t understand why Chiara was so impressed by stuff like Salvatore being a good soccer player. Amelia was good at lots of sports, including soccer. Even if he could beat her at soccer, she could probably kick his ass at baseball.

The bottom dropped out of her stomach when Chiara started talking about a date she and Salvatore had gone on. It wasn’t much, just a trip to the movies and a walk around town, but it was more romance than Amelia had ever experienced. That was why she had to hide her jealousy behind a fake smile.

Chiara giggled as she got near the end of her story. “And then when he was dropping me off at the house, Totò, he uhh… he kissed me.”

“He kissed you?” Amelia repeated. She was surprised, and her chest felt weirdly tight. Probably indigestion from all that popcorn.

Chiara nodded and tucked a strand of wavy hair behind her ear. “He did. It was my first kiss ever.”

Amelia nibbled on her bottom lip and looked away. She hadn’t been kissed yet, and she was sad that her best friend had experienced something so life-changing without her. “Was it nice? Did it feel good?”

“It was okay, I guess?” When she glanced over, Chiara was frowning at the memory. “Honestly, it would’ve been a lot better if he hadn’t pulled away after two seconds and sneezed in my face.”

Amelia laughed. “He sneezed in your face?! Who the hell does that?”

Chiara tossed a pillow at her. “Shut up, idiota! It wasn’t his fault! He was allergic to my perfume!”

Amelia took several more seconds to calm down. “Still, that sounds horrible, Kiki. I’m sorry.”

“It was kinda gross,” Chiara admitted with a shrug. “The second kiss was better. I was wearing a different perfume then.”

So, Chiara had kissed this boy multiple times. Amelia hadn’t kissed anyone ever.

“So is he your boyfriend now, or…” Part of Amelia really didn’t want to hear the answer, but she felt obligated to ask.

Chiara sighed. “He lives in Palermo, so that wouldn’t really work. It was a summer fling, and it wasn’t meant to last. We had fun, but we’re both okay with it being over now.”

Amelia nodded, even though it didn’t make much sense to her. She didn’t think it was possible for Salvatore to get over someone as beautiful and amazing as Chiara. No boy would ever be able to.

“Well, while you were breaking boys’ hearts in Sicily, my summer was much more boring by comparison. Just the normal stuff you’re used to.”

Chiara chuckled and nudged her side. “So no torrid summer romances for you?”

“Nah. I guess guys don’t see me that way.” Amelia knew that was supposed to bother her. It bothered her mom, who had repeatedly told Amy that boys would never notice her if she kept acting like such a tomboy. But Amelia wasn’t even sure if she wanted boys to notice her. She wasn’t sure how she would react if they did.

Chiara rolled her eyes. “Boys are stupid. I wouldn’t waste too much time worrying about what they think.”

Amelia frowned and stared down at the toenails Chiara had painted for her earlier. “Easy for you to say. You’re super pretty, like a 14-year-old version of that famous Italian movie star whose name I can’t remember right now. And I’m just… well, me.” She was chubbier than a lot of girls her age, had metal braces on her teeth, and had to wear glasses if she wanted to see worth a damn. Amelia didn’t think she was ugly, but she didn’t think she was particularly pretty either, and that made her feel bad for reasons she didn’t entirely understand. Why did it matter how she looked when she wasn’t even sure if she wanted boys to notice her as an attractive young woman?

Unless she wanted girls to notice her as an attractive young woman. But that couldn’t be true, right? Amelia was straight. She had to be. There simply wasn’t any other option.

“Cara, you shouldn’t talk about yourself that way.” Chiara reached out and covered Amelia’s hand, which made Amelia turn to look at her in surprise. “You’re gorgeous. Anyone who can’t appreciate what’s right in front of them isn’t worth your time.”

Her voice was soft, and her hazel eyes were full of conviction. Amelia’s heart raced inside her chest, but she didn’t think she was having a heart attack or suffering from some kind of illness. It felt too wonderful and bewildering to be unhealthy. Was this how Maddie felt with Yuri?

Amelia grinned. “You think I’m gorgeous? Really?”

Chiara’s face turned red as she huffed and pulled her hand away. “I’m not blind, okay?! There’s no need to be so smug about it!” She wrapped her arms around her knees, clearly embarrassed, and Amelia wanted to hug her. Or something.

She opted for the hug. “I’m not smug. I’m just… really flattered. You’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen, so you saying that I’m gorgeous is kind of a huge deal.”

“G… grazie.” Chiara sounded shy and flustered, which was adorable. God, the guy who got to be her boyfriend someday would be so lucky.

Amelia frowned. Ugh, there was that feeling again. That heavy, sinking feeling in her gut. She didn’t want to think about Kiki with a boyfriend. She didn’t want to imagine her best friend kissing a boy, touching him, talking about him with the same gleam in her eye she’d had when she spoke of the boy she kissed on vacation. Or maybe a brighter gleam because her boyfriend would mean more to her than a short summer romance.

Amelia let her arms fall away from Chiara and gave her the brightest smile she could. “It’s probably for the best. I don’t think I’m ready for the whole boyfriend thing anyway.” She wasn’t sure if she’d ever be ready for that. “Especially the kissing part. I wouldn’t know what to do if some guy tried to kiss me.” She’d probably freeze or run away.

“Well as long as you don’t sneeze in the guy’s face afterwards, you’ll be doing better than Salvatore.”

Amelia laughed. “True.”

Chiara looked nervous all of a sudden. She started playing with her hair. “I could show you, if you want.”

“Show me?”

“How to kiss people.”

“Oh. I mean, yeah? If that’s not too weird for you.” Amelia wondered if it should be weird for her. The idea of kissing Chiara didn’t feel weird at all.

Chiara smirked at her, nervousness apparently gone. “If it was too weird for me, I wouldn’t have offered, would I?”

“No, I guess not.” Amelia tilted her head towards her best friend and squinted in confusion. “Should I?”

“Just hold still.” Chiara cupped her face, leaned in, and connected their lips. Her stomach swooped like she was on a rollercoaster, and Amelia was too stunned to move or even close her eyes.

Chiara pulled away. “You’re tense. Just try to relax. Close your eyes and pretend I’m someone you want to kiss.”

Not a problem. Amelia nodded and closed her eyes, waiting for Chiara to kiss her again. This time she was prepared, and when she felt that swoop in her stomach, she sighed and parted her lips against Chiara’s mouth. Her mouth felt tingly and kind of staticky, but in a good way? She liked it. She liked kissing Chiara.

Chiara moved her lips hesitantly, and Amelia tried to copy her movements. Chiara’s tongue flicked over her lower lip, and Amelia let out a startled whimper. Chiara ripped her mouth away suddenly.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to! I got caught up in the moment and took it too far. Dio, I never got close to kissing Salvatore like that…”

Amelia caught her flailing hands in her own. “It’s fine. I didn’t mind.”

“You didn’t mind. You didn’t mind that I almost French kissed you? Are you fucking insane?!”

Maybe she was. She had been disappointed that Chiara stopped, but Amelia couldn’t say that, could she?

“We were practicing,” Amelia claimed, ignoring how her gut churned with guilt. “It doesn’t count.” Amelia hated lying to her best friend, but she didn’t know what else to do.

Chiara’s eyes looked troubled. “No, I guess it doesn’t count. But if you start to feel uncomfortable, just tell me to stop.”

Amelia nodded. “Okay.” She didn’t think she’d want to stop Chiara, so the promise was unnecessary.

Chiara slowly began to lean in, and Amelia closed her eyes.

The kiss was warm, gentle, and sweet. The tingly feeling in Amelia’s lips returned instantly, along with the roller-coaster swooping in her stomach. Chiara’s tongue shyly entered her mouth, and Amelia could taste the apple juice she had earlier along with her peach-flavored lip gloss. Amelia idly wondered if she should have brushed her teeth first or maybe put on some kind of lip balm.

Chiara pulled away a few seconds later, flushed and panting for air. “That… that was…”

“You taste like apples and peaches,” Amelia told her, too stupefied to say anything else.

Chiara giggled. “You taste like popcorn and soda. I kinda liked it, though.”

“Do you think I need more practice?” Amelia asked. She tried to make sure her voice didn’t sound too hopeful.

“Probably not. There’s nothing wrong with the way you kiss. You just have to remember not to freeze up at the beginning, and you’ll do just fine.”

It was the best answer Amelia could have realistically expected, but she still felt keenly disappointed. There was an ache inside of her that hadn’t existed before.

Chiara snuggled into her side and turned her gaze towards the television, so it wasn’t all bad. Amelia put an arm loosely around her and pretended to watch the TV too. If she breathed in, she could smell the remnants of popcorn and candy, along with a hint of lemongrass and oranges. It was coming from Chiara, and it might have been the perfume Salvatore was allergic to. She chuckled softly at the thought.

Chiara yawned. “What’s so funny?”

“Guess we know I’m not allergic to your perfume. I didn’t sneeze on your face.”

Chiara snorted. “No. No, you didn’t.”

Amelia felt the urge to confess the truth, but she pursed her lips and kept silent for the next several minutes. Only when she felt Chiara’s body growing heavier and her breathing getting softer did she dare turn her head to look at her best friend.

Kiki’s chestnut hair was tousled up against her shoulder. Her eyes were closed, and her eyebrows were slightly arched. Her nose descended in a straight line, and her lips, full and reddened from just kissing Amelia, were parted slightly. She was by far the most beautiful thing Amelia had ever seen, and that ache inside her grew. She felt the butterflies everywhere, not just her stomach.

“I don’t think I want a boyfriend,” Amelia whispered, so quietly Chiara probably wouldn’t have been able to hear it even if she were awake. “I think I just want you, and I think maybe I always have. I know you don’t feel the same way, and that’s okay, as long as I still get to be your friend.”

Chiara frowned in her sleep. “Amore,” she mumbled, but didn’t say anything else. Amelia had no idea who she was talking to. Probably not Salvatore, since that was just a summer romance she had claimed to be over now. Perhaps, a silly part of her mind whispered, she meant Amelia. Perhaps their practice meant something to her too, and she didn’t want a boyfriend either.

Amelia let herself bask in that delusion until the program she was only half-watching was over. Then she turned off the TV, closed her eyes, leaned into her best friend she loved more than she was supposed to, and fell asleep.

[butterfly-winx]

I'm not sure if you've already answered this but could u talk about everyone's first experiences with magic?

No I haven’t and I can’t claim I have thought about it long enough to have rock hard hc, but it’s a fun prompt anon, so here we go:

Bloom:

Aside from being protected from the flames of the house burning around her as a baby, Bloom’s first conscious brush with magic was actually using her innate aspect. She has always been a sensitive kid and everybody assumed it was just some form of hyperempathy when she talked about other people’s feelings with high accuracy. But when she categorised people into colours depending on their auras, she meant it. Then as sensitive weird kids be, Bloom was picked on a lot in late primary and middle school and that’s when her temper started to show. Bloom got angry easily and it only riled up the other children more to get her to show a reaction. Before that it was mostly tears, but one memorable occasion Bloom’s control over temperature manifested with her burst of anger and she made everyone and herself develop a sudden high fever. She fainted from it unfortunately and spent the next two years transfixed by all sources of fire and flames eventually circling back on her obsession with fairies and all things magic. The older she got the less she paid attention to the colourful auras until they completely faded from her everyday sight and only cropped up when she herself felt her emotion in a disarray. As Bloom got older, other magic effects started to crop up with higher frequency, like her “magically” avoiding injuries or recovering from them super fast, or never getting burned on hot pots as the Dragonflame started to feel cramped unused in her body. When Stella was being threatened by the goblins and the ogre, Bloom’s fight or flight instincts automatically allowed the Dragonflame an outlet. (She then of course followed Stella down a rabbit hole of an adventure and got a place in Alfea due to her new friend’s quick thinking and forgery)

Stella:

With two proficient magic users as parents Stella was practically hounded over as adults in her life anxiously waited for her to show signs of magic. She went through magic prep courses trying her hardest to please everyone who was so important to her. She wanted to be magic so bad, always afraid of that infinitesimal chance that she didn’t get all the right genes from her parents. At age seven she was kind of a late bloomer for fully magic children to yet show any sign of magic sensitivity, and she spent another short holiday with her mother’s family up north. it was Stella’s favourite pastime to wander as close to the edge of the estate as she dared to alone in the constant twilight of the Solarian pole. Her favourite spot was a little cropping of shrubs populated by lighting bugs that always flocked to her when she came by. The loved collecting the shiny rocks as well that lit up at her touch and create her own little sun filled garden in the back where no one would bother her for hours. In retrospect Stella can tell exactly why she hasn’t come forward with all of these light related oddities, wanting to keep her island of peace to herself, but back then baby Stella really just didn’t clock that this could be related to her magic aspect. Her grandma eventually noticed and eased her into the thought that yes, she was definitely magic. After that the expectations were laid on even thicker instead of getting easier to bear as Stella got instructions at school and from both of her parents after school. Luna was very helpful with first developing Stella’s magic, so Stella actually started off with a stronger focus on her moon based powers. Radius with his control over bright skies was not very useful and Stella soon started feeling guilty over that and took up sun focused spells and fey magic explicitly to please her father. Radius would have loved her no matter what, but Stella’s insecurities were early risers and she felt the need to please others, so she was more than happy to follow his footsteps and enrol off planet in Alfea, his alma mater.

Musa:

She was equally under observation, only because she is mixed (human-elven) and it was unclear which type her magic would manifest as. Maylin herself a magic using elf would have loved to teach her daughter all she knew, but there was of course always room for her to chose a human stream, should she take after her human father more. That Musa was magic sensitive was a well known fact ever since she was a baby and was able to produce... quite a cry. Maylin was lovingly warned that her daughter was likely to be a musical type along with a gift of full sound-blocking earbuds. At age six Musa could remember the melodies of over 300 pieces of music of ranging complexity, regularly got birds to sing for her and had impeccable hearing - all in all she showed signs of having a promising future as a magic user. For her to be gifted with skills in music that brought Maylin and HaoBai together was a blessing from the Heavens. Then Maylin died and Musa and her father’s world shattered with her. Grief can have complicated effects on one’s magic, and Musa age 9, appeared with dried up magic meridians like she was a l 90 year old. It took a lot of family counselling and well timed teenage rebellion for her to pick up music and with that magic again. And it was hard work, let her tell you that. Both letting magic inot her and developing a feeling for it and doing it all while hiding from her father, afraid he’d want to ban her music and snap instruments again (it happened once, and HaoBai isn’t proud of how much the pain of loss had consimed him at that moment). At fifteen she finally had enough and decided to go head first for it, insisting her half-orphan “recompensation fund” to be used as tuition at Alfea College for fairies, despite never having received any magic prep education. Through brute force, luck and insane talent Musa aced all entrance examinations and made it despite it all.

Techna:

As childbirth on Zenith is, it was completely up in the air whether Techna would be magic or not.  All the early childhood signs Techna showed for their aspect were at first more or less mis-categorised as autism (which they absolutely have, but them going through technical books detailing the technological systems of ancient civilisations daily wasn’t just that). The first one suspecting they have magic was actually Techna’s elder sister, Electra. Electra five years older than Techna was very into the idea of a baby sister and loved smushing and cuddling Techna, which Techan absolutely hated and kept giving Electra static shocks out of nowhere. Once Electra understood where static came from and identified that there was absolutely nothing charged around Techna when they did that, she became suspicions. The whole family found out when during dinner, Techna announced in the calmest voice possible that they have heard the car talk and it told Techna exactly what was wrong with it setting an end to their parents tense discussion about the car having issues. The car was sent for repairs, confirming what Techna had  said and Techna was taken for a magic sensitivity test having that confirmed. (Baby Techna like: oh yeah I could always hear machines they just usually don’t have anything worthwhile to say). She wasn’t quite five at this point. Magic isn’t as widely practiced on Zenith and it took Techna’s ranerts a while to find a magic prep school for them to attend after school, which ended up being outside the borders of Transjordan actually. The daily drive was very long and exhausting both for teen Techna and the parent of the day who had to drive them, so they started talking about sending Techna to a boarding school once they were old enough. Techha was left to do their own research and they realised they had quite many options, even with just narrowing it down to fey magic that were closer to home than Magics, but they all advertised themselves as “girls’ colleges” and even pre-gender realisation that just irked Techan for an inexplicable reason. They much preferred going to a coed school, so Alfea ended up as their first choice on the application form.

Layla:

In Layla’s case, detecting her magic sensitivity was incredibly difficult, seeing as she grew up practically constantly submerged in water playing with her cousins by the shore. Androsi people naturally have a large lung capacity and are able to dive long. That Layla dried super fast afterwards and never got salt rashes was also brushed under the rug ascribed to good royal hygiene and skin care. When she started being schooled in the castle Layla was colossally bored. She received basic magic training just because, no one actually expected her to be magic since they believed she didn’t show any sensitivity for it, and kind of for shits and giggles Layla took it and ran with it. Layla discovered privately in tidal caves just what a mistake that was able to make the water be kind to her and mold and move just so she could always get out unharmed. She surprised everyone at age eleven when during a banquet the visiting princeling was annoying her just so much, she used her water magic to turn his strictly pomaded hair into a bird’s nest, overshooting and drenching the next three dignitaries around him as well. The party stopped. At first Layla though she was going to get into so much trouble, caught under the strict eyes of her father, but as it turns out, he was overjoyed. Layla was put on a fast track for learning magic and surprised people once again choosing fey magic and being able to transform at the tender age of 13. She was never sent to Alfea, but received the offer from Faragonda after the Darkar incident thinking Layla could easily make it to Enchantix (which she did, this girl is talented).

Flora:

Both of Flora’s parents are untrained magic users, so her being somewhat sensitive at least was also expected. Flora loved sitting to the side watching her father run the potion shop when she wasn’t chasing all her other parental figures and watching what they were doing with curious eyes. She loved it when her aunti Nimali gave her bumps and scrapes a little kiss so she started doing that to all sorts of things including her father’s ingredient plants. He was indulging her harmless kid fantasy, knowing full well that most of his magic plants responded to emotions like they had a soul and was more than surprised when he found these plants not only healed but sprouting wildly whenever Flora gave them a small “get well smooch”. The village talked it all over and Flora was given over to the local magic users to train with and shadow what they were doing. Her interest in potion making however prevailed and by the time she emerged from Nature’s Teaching Path having singlehandedly ran the little children’s colony it was very clear that Flora would need to receive proper training from a proper institution. She was just too good at magic for her family to fail her not being able to offer her more knowledge. Flora wanted magic with frankly for her startling greed and ambition, but she hated the idea of moving away. She could have just gone to Woodland College like most other magic users, but even there the entrance exam examiner was suggesting the school was too small for her. (And Flora kind of felt that - she overthought the whole exam because it was just so simple, she just had to touch the plant, and will the box to float. Her aspect of plant growth might not have given her complete control over the environment, but she was still a lot better than her peers.) The teacher spoke to the Council about the potential of sending Flora off planet and now that had her attention and full investment in doing everything the Council demanded to get her a visa to study in Magics.

Out of the six Layla and Techna were able to transform already before they came to Alfea, Flora and Stella had unstable first attempts (Stella during her own first year that is, not her re-run), while Bloom and Musa were the only ones who fully had to learn it from scratch during their first year.

Stella and Layla pay their tuition from royal funds, Flora is Lynphean Council sponsored and Bloom after the first year paid from Callisto’s royal fund (oops) is on a Magics scholarship for minority cultures as a surviving Dominian. Techna benefits from Transjordan’s education scheme which gives students a basic income, their parents supplement the small remainder, while Musa is 100% self sponsored from aforementioned widower’s trust fund they got after Maylin’s passing.

[chilling-seavey]

hey, so this may be a hard to answer but i kinda didn't have anyone else to talk to about this:/. for a while, i have always been self conscious about my differences. i have been researching about autism lately and i've noticed that my "symptoms" are very similar to ones that i've researched. i just wanted to ask about how your story about it, if you're comfortable:) anyway yea i might just be overthinking it

Hey anon! Thanks for sharing! First off, take it from me first hand, there’s nothing you gotta be self conscious about! Easier said than done, I know, but our differences are what makes us unique and that’s not something to hide. 

I wasn’t diagnosed as autistic until I was 18. Autism in boys is often more prevalent so it’s easy for us girls to be overlooked and end up having to figure out ways to cope with symptoms etc themselves for sometimes our whole lives! I obviously don’t know if you’re a boy or a girl and even still, autism is such a wide spectrum that what I deal with may be completely different than what you are dealing with. In any sense, autism isn’t like another mental diagnosis and it is perfectly fair to self-diagnose without input of a professional if one wishes. Yet, at the same time, it can also tend to be like googling your illness symptoms and the website that pops up says ‘you have a mild headache? you’re dying’ when that isn’t necessarily true! Sometimes asking for some professional opinions on what you think might be symptom could be your best bet! But it’s personal preference too!

In my case? My whole life, I was more of the weird outsider girl. I often sat at recess alone with my stuffed animal (that I had since I was born and is still my comfort even know at nearly 21!) and my books and I wasn’t necessarily bullied but I was picked on a little in elementary school for being different. I wasn’t ‘cool’ and I was socially a ‘late-bloomer’ and never seemed to really keep up with the other kids. Honestly, I just thought I was shy.

Once I had to get a psychological test for university done at age 18, my therapist recommended that I do some advanced tests for ASD (autism-spectrum-disorder) and it was then that my results really opened my eyes that - holy crap everything made sense now. In particular, one of the tests I had to do was facial recognition where she showed me an image of a person making a facial expression and I had to tell her what emotion they were feeling. Another was listening to someone say a line and I had to repeat the tone of voice used to mimic their emotion. I scored so low on these tests. I never realized that this was something I struggled with and I soon learn its because of something called ‘masking’. 

Masking is super prominent in girls with autism because our symptoms may not be as strong or ‘typical’ as those in boys. It essentially is our mind’s way of reading our environment and forcing ourselves to play a part to ‘fit in’ whether it be through mimicking social cues or other things. It’s exhausting and most times you don’t even realize you’re doing it! 

One thing that I can joke about now that I am more comfortable with the familiarity of my diagnosis is what I call my ‘sensory sensitives’. (If you read my writing on here, Penelope in ABM has a few of these!). This is often common in autistic people where certain textures or sounds or other triggers can make you ‘freak out’ (for lack of a better word). I remember when I was little, if my bedsheets weren’t pulled perfectly tight and flat, I would have a bit of a meltdown until mum stripped my bed and remade it. Even now, more often than not, I have to strip my bed and remake it before getting back in if my sheets are too wrinkly. 

I could go on for ages talking about my own experiences and if you want to hear more I can share but the main idea to take from this are as follows:

1. Everyone is different. Everyone as in humans and everyone as in all autistics. So what I have expressed about my own experience here may be different from what you have been experiencing but that doesn’t mean one of us is more valid than the other or has a more ‘serious case’ than the other

2. Don’t go searching for something for the sake of searching. This has obviously been on your mind and it’s good that you can recognize this in yourself! If you are worried about a) what this means b) if it medically factual for yourself c) anything else, bring it up to a family member you trust or a councilor or doctor! Not everyone in your social circle is going to be accepting, especially if you are “high functioning” (I use that term loosely) because us in that category “don’t look autistic”. Just remember there’s no mould you need to fit in to be x y z and having a certain diagnosis or not doesn’t mean you are or aren’t any less of your own great self!

3. It’s not something to be scared about. It’s who you are! Autism is something you’re born with and, yes, it can be tiring for others and especially yourself, but it’s just a piece of your personality and you just have to find a way to work with it! Like if you have an allergy for instance, it’s annoying and can get in the way, but it’s just something you have and you need to take certain care through it! So don’t be too hard on yourself. It can be a weird time through possible acceptance and diagnosis (whether self or medical) and crying out your frustrations is certainly valid (I have plenty of times myself) but you aren’t broken and you aren’t scary and you have no reason to be self conscious over any differences you may have. Being social is freaking tiring to try and keep up with neurotypicals so just know your limits and be kind to yourself

I hope this helped if at all...I didn’t mean to write a whole ass novel in reply lol oops. But if you have any more questions or anything you can always shoot me a dm or another ask 🥰 I’m here for ya and I wish you luck in however you chose to progress with this!! 

[coll2mitts]

#77 Grease (1978)

Slick your hair back and grab your team jacket, we’re hand-jiving our way through Grease, a movie about bunch of hot, self-motivated ladies with their whole futures ahead of them settling for a bunch of schmucks.

Grease is a strange experience to relive as an adult, because it was (as I suspect with a lot of people) ever-present in my childhood, and I didn’t understand the great majority of references then.  This movie was intended as an 8th birthday present from my mother; I came home from school one day and the VHS was sitting on our kitchen countertop unwrapped.  I didn’t recognize it, so when I asked my mom what it was, she feigned confusion for about 10 seconds before she gave up and said, “I bought it for your birthday, I guess you get it early now.”  She promised me I’d like it when I popped it into the VHS player, and she wasn’t wrong.  I hadn’t watched this movie in over a decade and I still could recite the majority of the dialogue.

While this movie is a toned down significantly from the stage show, it is still fairly raunchy in parts.  What is kind of hilarious to me is Grease’s gradual shift in categorization over time as a “kids musical”.  In 5th grade, my sister played Sandy in her elementary school’s production of it.  I asked if she remembered any of the lines they changed to keep things “appropriate” (the Kidz Bopification, if you will) and she responded, “No, I just thought it was weird I had to go out and buy a sexy outfit.”  Conversely, my 5th grade play was about the history of America and I dressed up like Martha Washington.  I’ll never forget the 50 Nifty United States from 13 original colonies... SHOUT ‘em, SCOUT ‘em, TELL all about 'em, ONE BY ONE till we’ve given a day to every state in the U-S-A.  AL-A-bama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, California, Colorado, CON-NE-TI-CUT...

Anyway, do I think it’s weird that a movie about a bunch of horny teenagers has become Baby’s First Adult Musical?  Sorta.  Not really.  I mean, the dudes act like children for the majority of this, so I’m not surprised, at least.  It had, for sure, turned me off from wanting to date high school dudes when I was in high school.  The high school girls, however... we’ll get there.

It’s the first day of school, and the oldest high school seniors I’ve ever seen are poised to take on their last year at Rydell High.  The “T” Birds and their very uncool matching jackets are reunited after a summer apart and their super-senior leader Kenickie, played by the late Jeff Conaway, regales the tale of lugging boxes to earn money for a sweet ride, which you could feasibly do back in the 1950s.  Danny, played by John Travolta, spent his summer getting action at the beach, which he eloquently describes as “flippin’”.  

Frenchy and her new neighbor Sandy rendezvous with the Pink Ladies, who have very cool matching jackets and the unabashed confidence to go with them.  Stockard Channing, who plays Rizzo, is turned off by Sandy’s pure, seemingly holier-than-thou persona, and is dismayed when Sandy starts to describe her sickly sweet summer romance.  Her interest is only piqued when Sandy mentions her hunky date was notorious playboy and Rizzo’s ex, Danny Zuko.  

Sidenote: When I was a child, I thought Sonny asked if her “jugs were bigger than her nets”.  I asked my mother what “nets” were, since I surmised that jugs meant breasts, and she didn’t know, which I thought was weird.  It wasn’t until THIS MOMENT that I realized he was asking if her jugs were bigger than Annette’s.  Who the fuck is Annette?  Like the Mickey Mouseketeer Annette?!  Rizzo sings about her later and I’m just like.. this revelation has lead to more questions than answers.

Rizzo hatches a plan to call Danny out on his shit and reunite Sandy with Danny at the school pep rally, as they know her boyfriend is an asshat.  He predictably reacts maturely; Not wanting to admit his previous story of getting fresh with some cute Australian girl down in the sand was somewhat hyperbolic, he plays it off like he doesn’t give a shit about her, reducing Sandy to tears.  Frenchy comforts Sandy like the supportive queen that she is and invites her to join the Pink Ladies at a sleepover.

Honestly, a Pink Ladies sleepover looks lit as fuck.  As a kid (and now, tbh) I was Jan, I wanted to be Marty, I wanted to fuck Rizzo, and I wanted Frenchy as my best friend.  I would totally be down to drink champagne, eat Twinkies and mutilate our body parts with needles.  Sandy is a bit of a late bloomer and reacts to these series of events by puking.  Rizzo decides to be a bit of a slag and make fun of Sandy for being an inexperienced virgin before shimming down a drainpipe to get laid by some jerk with a shitty car and a 6-year-old condom.

Sandy, whose night has done nothing to alleviate her heartbreak, sings a song about being in love with a coward.  Part of the deal Oliva Newton-John signed to be cast in this movie specified she have her own solo number, so “Hopelessly Devoted” was written and filmed after the rest of the movie had been completed.  This feel pretty obvious, since it gives off a very strong 1970s pop Best Original Song vibe.  When I was a kid, I used this song as a break to use the bathroom or grab a snack, but as an adult I find myself humming it every so often.

Speaking of contract-obligated solos, we’re treated to a Travolta-led “Greased Lightning”, which I always thought was weird, cause like, who is going to sing a song about their friend getting tit in their sweet car?  Jeff Conaway played Danny on Broadway, he deserved better...  Also, I’m CONVINCED this song got the Pop-Up Video treatment, but couldn’t find it online anywhere.  Otherwise, how the hell else would the fact that they thought John Travolta putting the saran wrap on his crotch was too racy live rent free in my head for like 20 years?

After encountering Sandy on a date with a jock, Danny decides he’s going to join a sports team to prove to her he can be a motivated team player.  Instead, he just physically assaults several members of his school, but it’s fine because he’s wearing a uniform when he does it.  This is enough to impress Sandy, as she accepts Danny’s invitation to the school dance.

The other gang members are going through their own drama, as Rizzo is sick of giving it up to Kenickie without receiving a modicum of respect.  

“A hickey from Kenickie is like a Hallmark card.  When you care enough to send the very best.”

Danny regresses and continues to act like a shithead to Sandy in front of her friends.

“I don’t like tea.” “You don’t have to drink tea!” “Well, I don’t like parents.”

Jan and Putzie begin an innocent and adorable romance, which proves it’s possible to start off a relationship with mutual respect, even if your friends make fun of you for it.

“I also think there’s more to you than just fat.” “...Thanks.”

I love this scene, there’s so many good lines.

Frenchy, who had dropped out of Rydell to pursue a career in cosmetology, is also in crisis as her stint in beauty school went very poorly.  After hours, she somehow hallucinates Frankie Avalon advising her to get her high school degree.

As a child, I was so proud of myself when I realized all these women played other roles in the movie, as if facial recognition was an important skill.

The day of the big dance finally arrives, as National Bandstand comes to Rydell High with roofie-wielding predator and television host Vince Fontaine.  Rizzo arrives with the leader of the rival gang, while Kenickie has his best girl, Cha Cha, as his date, because they are both very well-adjusted teenagers that know how to work through conflict by communicating and not using desperate attempts to make each other jealous.  Danny and Sandy are cutting up a rug until Sonny attempts to physically assault Sandy, and Danny just lets it happen because another one of his exes, Cha Cha, starts to dance with him while Sandy is rebuffing Sonny’s advances.  Cha Cha and Danny subsequently win the contest.  Honestly, this is so fucked up, I would have dropped Danny after this lapse of good judgement.

But no, Sandy still allows him to take her on a date to the drive-in, and it’s not until he elbows her in the boob and then tries to cop a feel in front of everybody that she finally blows him off.  Then he has the absolute gall to act emo about it because he’s afraid people will think he’s a loser.  Jesus Christ.

Kenickie is also hurting, as he discovers that Rizzo is pregnant and she doesn’t want anything to do with him, regardless of what being an unwed mother will do to her reputation.  He decides to process these emotions by racing Greased Lighting for pink slips, as he likes to live his life a quarter mile at a time.  Unfortunately, Danny steals Kenickie’s thunder (road) yet again, as he’s forced to take his place in the race because of a car door-related closed head injury.  Sandy is impressed by Danny’s driving skillz and decides to sex herself up for an unreliable and emotionally manipulative teenager.  Danny has a similar inclination and decides to put on a nice sweater to win Sandy back, which is something, I guess.  They declare they’re the one each other needs, oh yes indeed.

The school year ends, and all the boys end up paired with the girls.  Rizzo finds out she’s not pregnant and reunites with Kenickie?!  Marty ends up with Sonny even though he’s a handsy creep.  Danny and Sandy are just an mess with incompatible expectations of each other.  But at least Jan and Putzie and Frenchy and Doodie are fairly inoffensive.  The end.

This movie is great, even all these years later.  The entire cast is fantastic, even those with smaller bit parts.  I was *living* for the school staff, Principal McGee and Coach Calhoun especially.  Grease also jump started my lifelong love for Stockard Channing.  She’s great in The West Wing, but her part as Sister Husband in Where the Heart Is may be my favorite performance of hers.  I’ve watched that movie so many times I can’t even call it a guilty pleasure, I love it so much.

Olivia Newton-John wasn’t even sure she wanted to be in this movie and requested a screen test so she could see if she was good at acting.  John Travolta was enamored with her and helped convince Olivia she was perfect for the part, and he wasn’t wrong.  She gives such a strong performance as Sandy; I bought her transformation from clean-cut cinnamon roll to sexpot completely.  John Travolta was also unbelievably charming as Danny, and I found myself giggling at his line deliveries constantly.

The songs are also unbelievably catchy (albeit somewhat annoying after you’ve heard them 700 times).  Barry Gibb, my favorite Pras-adjacent composer, wrote the theme for the movie and it just bops so hard.  As a well-documented detractor of Doo Wop music, there’s not a whole lot else here for me, but that’s not going to blind me to the excellence of this soundtrack.  There is a reason this movie is revered as much as it is.  10/10, fun for the whole family, as long as the kids don’t understand the references.

[okayoonoh]

LUCAS’S FAMILY

a/n: after i this is posted, the first gen of kids scenario should be posted soon :) stay tuneddd

also, here’s the masterlist to all of my nct dad stuffs! i have several other parts out rn so go and check them out if you’d like!

WONG YUKHEI

he has four kids, 3 boys and 1 girl. wong liwei is the oldest, then 5 years later, wong liqiang was born and 5 years after that, the twins wong lijie and wong lina were born.

(when lijie and lina were born, liwei was 10 and liqiang was 5)

WONG LIWEI: >> as a baby <<

pure and utter sunshine

so energetic

but so happy and giggly and ah

he was a tough baby

as weird as that sounds

like if an accident happens

for some reason

liwei just didn’t cry?

like if yukhei was tossing liwei in the air or something

and he threw him a little too hard

and liwei’s head it the ceiling

liwei just wouldn’t cry

he’ll like try to reach the spot that hurts, but he simple just won’t cry.

liwei was honestly a puppy

like he was filled with endless amounts of energy

he was indestructible

he didn’t bruise easily either

like he just was made of steel or something

liwei was a really fast baby

like the second he could pick up his head and do some “tummy time”

he was already trying to crawl

the second he mastered crawling

he was already trying to stand

the second he could stand

he was already trying to walk

the second he could walk

he was already running

liwei slowed down for NOBODY

not even mom or dad

thank god yukhei had long limbs and was also full of energy

but baby liwei could out energy the most energetic dad

liwei had pretty tan skin as a baby too

like he tanned easily

you and yukhei adored him

>> as a child <<

still literally the sun

gives haechan a run for his money with the title of full sun

is best friends with kun’s oldest, qian lei

liwei is kinda aloof and happy go lucky

but lei is super logical and such

they are polar opposites, but the do be vibing tho

lei often questions the choices of of liwei

like why did liwei just roll around on the grass in his white shirt?

why did liwei decide to decorate his bag with all of the stickers?

but liwei is honestly just living his best life

liwei is just trying to have the most fun as possible

he was still a handful

like you and yukhei didn’t want to go out with him a lot because he was just so much

liwei remained super handsome

all the girls had crushes on him

but he was just clueless to all of them lol

liwei loved all things superhero

dinosaur

cars

and he loved music and playing music with lei

like liwei was honestly really good at music too

like naturally

he was naturally really good at rhythms and such

he joined all bands possible at his school to be a percussionist

like usually, there are like 3-5 percussionist who cover a whole bunch of different percussion instruments

but liwei had so much energy that he honestly was able to cover most of them on his own

liwei was born with SUPER DUPER thick hair

like you had to take him to cut it almost twice a month

his hair grew so quickly

on the days where everything was just too hectic

you would just give him some of your hair clips

liwei wouldn’t complain

when liwei learned he was gonna be an older brother he was HYPED at the idea

but when liqiang actually came out?

liwei didn’t care lol

he was like “that is my baby brother?”

liwei didn’t understand why liqiang couldn’t like run or dance

lol liwei probably went through a whole phase where he did not believe he could have been a baby before

for example (this is like a week or so after liqiang was born)

liwei: mom, why is liqiang so dumb?

you: liwei! don’t say that about your brother; he’s just a baby.

yukhei: yeah, you know, you were just like that before, liwei.

liwei: there is absolutely no way that i used to be like that. there’s no way i could have been that small

you: liwei, babies grow. do you honestly believe you’ve looked like this your whole life?

liwei: *nods with all confidence”

he simply just didn’t believe he was a baby lol

it took you and yukhei a lot of convincing him and when liqiang finally grew up, liwei agreed haha

once he warms up to it, he’s honestly a really good big brother

liwei is so helpful especially with all of his little siblings

he helps with the little things while you help them out with all of the other things

he was just a big ball of energy just trying to have the most fun

>> as a teen/adult <<

model

that’s it

that’s the post

he’s so good looking it’s insane

he’s honestly just yukhei with your eyes

he grew up to be tall just like his dad too

he somehow lost all of his energy

it’s crazy

as an adult, he’s one of the most chill and relaxed people in the group

even when situations get energetic, he’s just chill

all of his energy was used up when he was a child lol

like the “real” him is chill lmao

even he doesn’t know what happened

he just suddenly became chill

he’s not like constantly tired or anything like that

liwei is just chill

not like 4/20 chill

just one of those people you vibe well with lol

he and lei still remain best friends

his energy sometimes returns whenever he hangs out with her

as a model tho, he’s so successful

like noah seo and him do a lot of modeling gigs together

and like the world just adores their faces

they’re both just so handsome it’s insane lol

he’s a pretty responsible big brother

like he makes sure his siblings are always taken care of and makes sure that they always know where to go if they need anything

he’s the type of person to never text first tho lol

like obviously if one of his siblings is going though something, he’ll check on them

but if any of his siblings wanted to have a normal chat with him on just any given day,

they have to text him first

it’s funny because his siblings are still super energetic

but he’s just somehow remained so chill

he’s very loving to his family tho

he inherited his dad’s laugh

he’s so tall and just big

but he laughs in tiny

he knows that he’s handsome and when people point it out it doesn’t bug him in the slightest

he actually likes being called handsome lol

in terms of relationships, he’s okay in them

he’s always asking lei for advice

she’ll tell him as it is lol

but yeah

liwei was one of the craziest kids, but somehow something in his life changed and now he’s one of the chillest.

WONG LIQIANG:

>> as a baby <<

also really happy and energetic

a super active baby

a lot like his older brother

music appealed to him way more than it did to liwei

he was able to grasp music so easily at an early age

like he responded so positively to music

he learned through music 

like legit

if you were not singing 

he wouldn’t learn

he inherited his dad’s huuuuge eyes

from an early age he had such a boyish charm

when liqiang smiled, he smiled

he wouldn’t just smile with his mouth

he would smile with his whole face

his little nose would scrunch up

his eyes would make adorable little cresents

his two teeth would show proudly

liqiang just had the sweetest and most endearing smile

he was a rather small baby

like when he was born, all yukhei had to do was cup both of his hands and liqiang could fit comfortably

it was a little scary at first with how small he was

but that didn’t stop little liqiang!

from the second he could open his eyes, he was already closing them with all of his smiles

he brought so much joy to you and yukhei

liwei was still a little confused why liqiang was like he was

liwei genuinely did not believe that babies were a thing lol

but when he warmed up to the idea, liwei was an alarmingly good brother

liwei didn’t understand volume control at all lol so he was just constantly yelling at liqiang

he thought that liqiang’s lack of response meant he couldn’t hear liwei (you had to explain to liwei that liqiang just has an inability to speak as a 4 month old)

that didn’t stop liwei in the slightest

he would keep trying to talk to his baby brother

until eventually, the first time liqiang ever responded to a vocal cue with a noise of his own was when liwei was talking to him

liwei was so proud that he did that lol

liwei may have been skeptical at first, but he quickly became an amazing brother

>> as a child <<

still super goofy and energetic

he is just a big puppy

like he’s so clumsy

but he’s just so full of love and happiness it’s just so cute

he’s not as loud as his older brother, but he matches up with the energy

he’s always trailing behind liwei

liwei makes sure liqiang is included and taken care of 

liqiang is still on the smaller side as a child

don’t worry, he was just a late bloomer

liqiang was really smart and talented at a lot of things

but all he wants to do is to make his older brother proud

he’s best friends with kun’s youngest daughter, qian fen

qian fen is mild mannered, kind, and caring

when liqiang is around fen, he’s so different

when he’s around his brother, he’s full of so much energy

but when he’s around fen, he becomes sweet and mild

they became best friends because their born the same year

fen always had a crush on him growing up

she thought he was so handsome lol

liqiang probably was just a big dummy and didn’t even realize it

both him and fen agree that food is the best thing ever and that’s how they relate to each other

liqiang learns how to bake with fen

when liwei learned how to use a phone, the first person he called was neither you or lucas

it was fen

it’s refreshing to see your energetic son calm down around his best friend

even tho yukhei was busy on tours and stuff, he did all he can to be with you guys as often as possible

yukhei loved taking his sons out for little play dates

that’s when the boys were the most energetic

when they were around yukhei

yukhei was definitely not the scary parent lol it had to be you

even if you didn’t have it in you to be the scary parent, there was no one who would do it for you guys

even if liqiang didn’t do anything wrong, he would say that he was equally at fault

he was a compassionate little bean

still was obsessed with music

he was really smart and can learn in any way

but if there is a song version to anything, he almost learns it instantly

>> as a teen/adult <<

business. man.

he ends up being the CEO of an entertainment company

(he’s not in competition with moon yoojin tho, dw)

(^if you wanna know more about her, you should read the other parts ;))

he’s not a bad CEO tho

like he doesn’t abuse his artists or anything

he’s really empathetic and he’s genuinely okay with his artists not being at the top

a lot of his stuff is like DPR’s 

like they produce high quality, beautiful music

with visuals that are insanely beautiful

so like

imagine DPR style things with boy groups

liqiang is a rather young CEO too

a lot of people think that he’s an idol himself lol

but he’s like “uhh, no, i’m the guy who’s gonna discuss your benefits and the budgets...”

when he’s serious, it’s lowkey kinda scary

like he works hard constantly

he’s always making sure his artists are okay and taken care of 

a lot of people sleep on his group because they’re not considered the most popular

but they really do be producing bops tho

when he’s working, he tends to be really really serious

but when he’s around fen, his puppy personality comes back

helps qian fen run her cafe

she was able to establish it herself, but she got in the mix with a bad landlord and stuff

so liqiang bought the whole building so she could stay there and do as she pleased

he works there from time to time with his best friend

he is happiest when he’s working in the cafe

fen’s restaurant starts to open up and open more locations

one of her locations is where liqiang sends some trainees that want to make some money

they work there part time lol

no one really realizes it 

like imagine

someone was a regular at that cafe

then all of a sudden, all of the waiters/baristas aren’t working there anymore and are replaced with a whole new bunch of young men

that someone looks on their phone and sees the waiters and baristas on their debut stage lolol

liqiang wants to help as many people as possible

his goal in life is to provide people an opportunity to express their voice and to become successful in anyway they can

he’s just such an empathetic and hard working guy

WONG LIJIE: >> as a baby <<

a weird chill for your family

you were not ready for twins

well, you were not ready for twins to be just like liwei and liqiang

but when lijie came out just so chill everyone was so confused lol

he definitely was yukhei’s baby tho because he definitely looked just like his dad

liwei and liqiang are both a mix of you and yukhei

but lijie????

he’s literally just yukhei

like there is NOTHING that resembles you in that child

(if you have a chill personality you can say that he inherited that from you lol)

so

imagine if you gave little baby yukhei a chill pill

that’s lijie

lijie was just like peace love and flowers as a baby

he had his dad’s big eyes

but they were droopy like 23/24 hours of the day

even if his twin sister would be pestering him

he wouldn’t really care

he only cried when things got real heckin bad

lijie is the older twin

and from an early age he already was making sure his sister was okay

like he was already doing subtle things to make sure she’s okay

like they would share a crib during nap time

and like all of the stuff animals would somehow end up with lina

lijie didn’t mind tho

he was a godsend to your chaotic yet beautiful life

he learned everything first tho

like he learned how to crawl first

he learned how to walk first

he learned how to speak first

lijie learned everything before lina

he was just so attentive to the youngest tho

lijie inherited yukhei’s sweet and caring soul

>> as a child <<

still chill

he’s so close with lina

like they’re your perfect example of twin siblings

they have the twin telepathy thing lmao

but he’s just so freaking chill like all the time

nothing phases him too much

like lina is so active and just like her brothers

but even when lina is like pushing all of his buttons

lijie just brushes it off lmao

he’s just vibing 24/7 at this point

lijie favorite thing to do is sleep

but he’s honestly the most talented at everything amongst all of your kids

when he puts his mind into something, he’s so talented

he just doesn’t really care tho lol

lijie is so lazy at times

but when things need to get done, he’ll get it done

he loves his brothers tho, you don’t need to worry about that

he may be lazy, but if his brothers want to hangout, he’ll go and hangout with them no questions asked

if his energetic brothers wanted to play soccer, he would either keep score or be the goalkeeper

lijie is definitely the most energetic when he with with his older brothers

even though he prefers to be lazy, he’ll do anything for his brothers

family is the biggest priority in his life

the most common thing he says is “i’m sleepy”

everytime he walks into a room

any room

any place

“i’m sleepy”

he’s best friends with jeno’s oldest, lee jungho 

they became best friends because they were born the same year and they’re the most calm in their generation

every single baby in their generation has crackhead energy

but lijie and jungho would just be vibing on the side

jungho is the oldest of the group and everyone thought he would be the one who leads the crackheads

but the crackhead group leads themselves lmao

lijie is still attentive and caring towards his twin sister

they really do have the twin telepathy tho

like when you would take the two of them to a doctors appointment

they would have conversations with each other without even talking

lijie and lina just knew exactly what the other one was saying

as the youngest in the family, they related to a lot of things together

>> as a teen/adult <<

he joins a boy group

his vibe is like hyungwon from monsta x

but he has his dad’s work ethic

(just a quick lucas fact if you didn’t know, but when he joined the agency with his legendary 3 pose audition, they originally were gonna make him just a model but lucas worked so hard in his dancing and rapping in order to join nct so he wouldn’t be “lonely”. lucas has such a good work ethic even tho he seems to just be a big ole goof most of the time lol)

he was scouted just like his dad was

and he was going to just be a model just like his dad

but with his dad’s advice, he worked hard to join a boy group

he starts out at a small entertainment company 

and he enjoys his time there

jungho is also in the group

they were honestly so happy that they were able to join a group together because that almost never happens amongst friends

but eventually something happens within that company and the group has to choose a different label

the fans were sad because lijie’s group was starting to get big

lijie didn’t really like to use his connections, but he also wants to make as many people happy as possible

by that time, his older brother liqiang’s entertainment company already took off and had a couple solo artists that was making the label known

lijie asked his brother if he could take in his group

liqiang accepted it immediately because there honestly was no bad side to any of this

under liqiang’s company, lijie’s group became hella big

like hella big

like winning at least one award at every single award show

lijie definitely was not the leader of the group

but he was the lead dancer alongside jungho

they’re like moonbin and rocky from astro

best dancing friends destined to dance together

lol they probably were thrown into a group full of crackheads too lol

it’s okay, they grew up dealing with them they know how to deal with their group lol

jungho and lijie always do vlives together and stuff

like it’s obvious to see that they are best friends

he still is so caring towards his little sister tho

they collab together and stuff but no matter how busy he is, he makes sure he goes to visit her at least like 2 times a month

WONG LINA: >> as a baby <<

yukhei’s actual princess

like he’s so happy to be the father of 3 boys

but he’s secretly wanted a girl for the longest time

and when he got a daughter?

he was over the moon

but she inherited the nature of her older brothers excluding lijie

so like

there were 4 suns in your life

yukhei, liwei, liqiang, and now lina

lina was a sweetheart with an endearing smile

she resembles you more than she resemble yukhei

but when she talked

she freaking yelled

especially if she was excited

while her brothers were running around the house

she would waddle over to them as fast as she can

and if she can’t keep up

she’ll just be super giggly but then suddenly she’ll plant both of her feet, take a deep breath

AND YELL

for no reason lol

just to let you know that she can yell

she had huge eyes and always wanted to watch someone 

lina loved to people watch from an early age

like the times where the energy wasn’t too high and it was only the twins in the house because the older boys were at school

she would just have her eyes on anyone in the house

the first game she ever learned was a staring contest game lol

yukhei insisted that she learned that game simply because she loved to stare at people lol

yukhei is a really good girl dad

like sometimes you can just tell with some guys

but yukhei is really gonna be a good girl dad

usually, dads who have all boys tend to not be good girl dads

but yukhei is 

he’s so caring and attentive to all of his kids, but he’s even more so with lina

when he heard that you were gonna have twins, he was honestly over the moon

regardless of how you reacted, yukhei couldn’t hide his true feelings and let you know just how happy he was

the second he heard that one of the babies is a girl, he teared up a bit

when the twins were born, there were literal heart eyes coming from his face

he was so gentle with them

he was even more gentle with his youngest baby

lina was a sweetheart who simply had a bit of a staring problem but it’s just because she finds everything so beautiful

>> as a child <<

like her older brothers

so energetic

she’s just in a forever state of excited

she adores yukhei

like he could literally just be cooking dinner for the family

and she’s just sitting and watching him thinking he’s saving the world

yukhei loves it tho

she’s taken care of so well by all of her older brothers

like you can just say “liwei, please get your sister ready for breakfast”

and liwei has the whole family ready before you’re even done cooking

liwei was 10 years old when the twins were born and he embraced the role as the oldest brother

he knew where everything for his baby sister was easily

liwei was also super proactive in making sure lijie still got as much attention as lina did

he knew that since lina is the youngest and the only girl, the attention would go to her even if it’s not intentional

liwei would make sure that lijie’s opinion was heard and all that good jazz

lina is another puppy in the family

she’s like a really sweet tiny dog

whenever she sees her brothers, she’s like actually over the moon

like if her brothers are picking up her and lijie from their elementary school

she’ll scream at the top of her lungs just because she’s so happy to see them

lina emphasizes happiness in people lives lol

she knows how to say “please be happy” in a ton of languages lol

she’s best friends with hendery’s youngest, wong zhangjing

do i have to explain why their best friends? yes? 

lol their so close just like their dads are close

except, lina’s personality can be a bit closer to hendery’s while zhangjing’s personality is closer to yukhei’s.

lina is closest with her twin, lijie

they really do have the twin telepathy

like if lina was chilling in her room and lijie was just taking a nap on the couch, without any form of communication, lina would go and get some water for lijie

they know each other better than anyone

growing up, they were known as the attractive twins lmao 

everyone had a crush on at least one of them

if someone had a crush on lijie, they would go to lina to try and get close to him

lina is a rather clever kid so she sees right through it lol

like lijie, family is top priority for lina

she seems that she’s so innocent and everything like that

but she lowkey is just as crackheaded as her siblings

>> as a teen/adult <<

she joins girl group

she’s the visual and dancer, just like lijie

when her group first debut, everyone thought that lina was just so pretty

they all thought that she was super innocent and would always maintain a princess image

that was quickly shut down with their first interview

lina is that member that a lot of people know about even if they don’t know the group

for example, jackson from got7, jay from day6, etc.

a lot of people have to know her even if they don’t know the group

with the first interview, everyone saw her big personality

she doesn’t even introduce her normally

lina would say something like, “hello! my name is lina and i’m the youngest of my family and i have 3 older brothers and i’m a twin and also i am lucas from nct’s daughter and...”

the leader of the group would have to cut her off lol

she has no boundaries whatsoever lol

lina doesn’t really have physical boundaries nor emotional

she’s honestly really good at fan service

she is also rather tall because she got those tall genes

but her personality is so little

like she definitely has a rbf 

like people who don’t know the group think that she’s like the scariest member and stuff like that

but she is actually like rays of happiness and love and ahh

lijie and her debuted the same year

both of them made it KNOWN that they are siblings lol

lina is in the same company that lijie is in so it makes lives and stuff easier

they also move to liqiang’s company together 

lina was so happy to work alongside her brothers 

when lina gets her instagram account, literally 90% of her pictures are pictures with her family

5% is food 5% is cute animals lol

oh and sometimes she posts about her group

she also models from time to time 

she has a really hard time doing serious concepts because she’s just happy all of the time

she’s the one who made the family group chat and she’s the one that make sure it remains active

like since liwei is always busy, she does her best to literally @ him

her brothers still spoil her

they never let her pay for anything ever

lina is honestly the female version of lucas

who resembles you a bit more

---

sorry this took so long to take!! life has been so hectic but now i don’t have school for a month for circumstances and now i have more time!

i hope you guys liked lucas’s family! he’s such a sweetheart and i definitely feel like his kids would all inherit the sweetheart trait as well

with this update, the first gen of kids is complete so i’ll go ahead and post a guide to the kids and their best friends and such!

requests are open!

- amy <3

[supedewoop]

Race is definitely an issue here. The white people (I’m white) are absolutely reacting to this stronger and responded more forcefully to Lizzo’s body positive message as being new and so revolutionary and it’s absolutely not, though it is still a good, important message.

This is also a weird and problematic thing to say but I haven’t figured out a better way to phrase and I think it’s relevant, the black community has always been way more body positive, especially with celebrities and it’s white culture that squashes and demonizes it for the most part.

While it is anecdotal, （and here comes the very problematic part) I was raised in a Detroit suburb and while it is a heavily segregated area, (at one time, maybe still, the most in the US) and my area was very white, I still had a lot of exposure to what I now recognize as black culture. As an adult, I’ve realized, it helped me learn to love my fat body, even though it was white, long before Lizzo. I felt like I could be beautiful through seeing Aretha Franklin and other black National and local celebrities on local news more often and with recognition of their achievements and beauty, as well as beautiful black women with “larger bodies” that didn’t dress in lose floral blouses and embraced that bodies, in public spaces. When I did start to become more aware of the prejudices and dynamics in the world around me, I saw my own problems first. So, I saw them as being “like me” as being fat and still beautiful and sexual in a positive way, (and of course there are also issues with black bodies being over sexualized, that I wasn’t yet open enough to see) and ran with that. I didn’t even entirely realize it when I did start to feel comfortable and positive in my size even in high school.

I didn’t realize that it actually came from black role models and black culture until men actually began to take notice of me in public spaces. I was a late bloomer and also turned out asexual, but that objectivity and greater wisdom of the world helped me realize the differences. Black men most often would appreciate my whole form, saying something like “damn girl, you fine” while white men would focus on a specific attribute (breasts) or focus on the size some how, either, “you’re cute even if you’re fat” or “I like fat girls.” Realizing this difference helped me see realize all the other things.

Is all black culture like super body positive? Of course not, but it isn’t the same as white culture even if white culture is much more dominant. I felt like Lizzo brought that energy and important piece of black culture into the wider world, and made it a more accessible message to white people, and I appreciate her for that, but I think it’s not fair now to take race out of that message and where it might come from.

And also, to not pretend like this downfall, even if “deserved” (and again, believe victims!) won’t be worse for her than it would be for a white celebrity. It’s also not great to not acknowledge the coverage is so gleeful because she’s fat AND black.

Also, like.... it’s okay to genuinely admire & look up to celebrities.

People who go around acting morally superior like “oh I’ve NEVER looked up to a celebrity IN MY LIFE!” whenever shit like this happens are DICKS. Like the absolute WORST kind of dicks.

Stop sucking yourself off just because the latest celebrity to get cancelled just happens to be a celebrity you weren’t a fan of. You have role models, too.

[army-of-mai-lovers]

1, 5, 8, 12, 18, 20, 22 for the ask thing; you dont have to do all of them lol

lmao try me

1. Tell us about your current project(s)  – what’s it about, how’s progress, what do you love most about it?

answered here!

5. What character that you’re writing do you most identify with?

Okay this is my third attempt at answering this but I’m going to say Mako. Like me, Mako is mixed, like me, Mako is an oldest sibling, with all the mess that comes with that, and like me, Mako spends so much time people pleasing that he has no idea who he actually is. I’ve written a lot of characters who have traits similar to me in some way, but Mako is so similar to me that the first time I tried to watch lok I could not stand him because he reminded me of all the parts of myself I couldn’t stand (although I didn’t realize it at the time). He’s weird and awkward and stubborn and shouldering way too much, but I love him nonetheless. 

8. Is what you like to write the same as what you like to read?

literally not at all lmao. I don’t read nearly as much fic as I used to, but the fic that I do read most often is fluffy shippy stuff, which is largely not the kind of stuff I write. fanfic for me is definitely comfort reading, and so I try to maximize the comfort as much as possible. outside of fic....yeah honestly I read way more romance than you would expect looking at my listed works on ao3. other than that, I read a lot of nonfiction and poetry, and sometimes I like to read “literary” books. I’m really trying to expand my horizons reading-wise (and I think in a lot of ways I’m succeeding) but honestly I think people get a little too up in arms about trying to make other people expand their horizons reading-wise. I’m in college, and I have to read a bunch for school, so if in my free time I just want to read fluffy oneshots on ao3 that’s what I’m going to do. When I gather up the time and energy I really enjoy reading more “literary” stuff on my own time, and that stuff tends to have a huge impact on me (and my work), but I believe that, at least to an extent, you should let people turn off their brains every once in a while. it’s a shit world out there and the least you can do is read about your favorite characters getting together in the stupidest most cliche way possible. so yeah, I practice turning my brain off every once in a while as a form of self-care, and I’m not ashamed of that in the slightest. 

12. Do you want your writing to be famous?

that is an excellent question. I’d really like to be a writer someday, and I’d like to be able to live off of income from my writing, so in that sense yes I’d like my writing to be famous. as far as fanfic is concerned? eh. it seems like a lot of pressure and a lot of nonsense to have a fic that Everyone Knows About And Is Waiting For You To Update. but also, there are certain fics of mine where I would like it if they got popular throughout the fandom, if only so that people would start emulating choices that I made in their own writing (e.g. not setting their modern aus in the US/UK/Europe). I don’t know though, I think even if that happened, it wouldn’t happen in the way I wanted it to. every time I’ve seen this fandom shift in what I think will be a more equitable less racist direction, all that’s actually happened is that people come up with new racist tropes to fit whatever “unproblematic” new trope the fandom’s come up with. at the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter what I want though, because my fics are either going to get popular or they’re not, and from what I’ve seen, my writing and the larger atla/lok fandom aren’t that compatible, so that’s the end of that. 

18. Do any of your stories have alternative versions? (plotlines that you abandoned, AUs of your own work, different characterisations?) Tell us about them.

in an early outline of ktwab, Zuko was going to be a bender, which if you’ve read that fic would have changed the storyline drastically, since so much of his character in the published fic revolves around him not being a bender. I wasn’t super comfortable with the nonbender Zuko hc at the time I was outlining ktwab for the first time, so I was really hesitant to put it in the fic, but after a while I realized that it was the right thing for the story. honestly, I’ve really come to love it. there’s always something interesting about imagining a bending character without bending, but I think it’s most interesting when looking at Zuko because it’s both so close to canon (in that he’s a late bloomer wrt Firebending and he’s not that great at it for most of the show) and so far away from it (in that Firebending is an integral part of the way canon Zuko views the world). and it gets doubly interesting when he’s the primary antagonist to Avatar Sokka. 

20.Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?

ugh ok I’m going to copy/paste part of a mini essay I wrote about character foils in ktwab but redact all the parts that would indicate who it’s about because it’s all spoilers: 

[REDACTED] has been cheated out of power, and his every action is motivated out of anger that he was cheated out of that power. Even his love for [REDACTED] is colored by the fact that he knows that one day, [REDACTED] might repay him by allowing him to survive and thrive when he’s [REDACTED]. [REDACTED], on the other hand, has never had access to imperial power and thus has never had the opportunity to be cheated out of it. His anger is at the fact that imperial power exists. Thus, while both of them are angry and fight against the Fire Nation with violence, [REDACTED]’s is the anger that’s misguided. It is based in a selfish desire to regain imperial power rather than a solidarity with people who have never had imperial power. Thus, his death in Ba Sing Se foreshadows the death of imperial power itself, a la [REDACTED], rather than power simply changing hands. Not only does [REDACTED] die, he dies for [REDACTED], the one best suited to end the imperial project of the Fire Nation. [REDACTED]’s role to him changes from “person who can help me survive” to “person who benefits from me losing my imperial power” to “person whom I can help end the imperial project” Meanwhile, [REDACTED]’s survival signifies the survival of an organized anti-imperialist resistance, one with an incredible amount of teeth, and its alliance with people who have the power to enact it on a grand scale. 

22. Do you reread your old works? How do you feel about them?

I think the only one I reread somewhat often is the greatest of them all, and even that I haven’t looked at in a long time. my feelings toward that fic in particular are mixed, mostly because that was the first thing I’d written creatively in a long while and it’s pretty apparent from the writing style of it (at least to me). but I think that with every new fic (or every new chapter of fics I’ve been working on for an obscene amount of time) I improve as a writer, and the whole reason I got into writing fanfiction is because I want to be a better writer. so I’m grateful towards any piece of work that helped me get there. 

writer meta ask game!