#like??????? where the fuck have you been??????? we have been saying this since 2010

[daeluin]

many such cases, twitter is making me angry ofc like god knows i don't have love or sympathy for gusanos but i won't ever let a white person try to have a say into what latinidad means or use us-latinos as a scapegoat for their failing politicians. like literally silencio gringo

[genekies]

screaming in the club

time for another vent in tags

[ruyakasunshine]

F1 drivers rated on how likely they are to know what ao3 is

note : this is just for entertainment. I will also use this to make a general reminder not to get anything fanfic/rpf related outside of sites such as tumblr, ao3, or wattpad. Enjoy!

This is just the current grid, because if I had to do it with every driver that raced this season, I'd get a surprisingly high amount of drivers to talk about.

20. Fernando

Grandpa. Need I to say more?

19. Checo

In a recent GQ Sport interview, he revealed that he didn't even have social media on his phone. I'd be surprised to hear he has any ao3 tab open up there.

18. K-mag

I don't feel like I need to explain this one. But I also believe that if Haas got him to read a chapter of a wattpad fanfic out loud where he has to replace Y/N with his own name after every penalty point he gets, he would have stopped causing so much ruckus. Or he might even cause more, who knows what goes on inside his mind.

17. Nico Hulk

Hear me out, he doesn't know what a fanfic is, but if he were more popular with the writer, he'd read the shit out of those.

16. Valterri

I could pay actual money to hear him read a 'kidnapped by one direction' self insert story out loud. If there is any Sauber intern lurking here, please consider. Wattpad as a sponsor would bring you a lot of money, think about it. I promise you will see a rise in your fandom if the name of the team was "wattpad kick sauber". I would buy merch. You need the money the way the constructors are going. Think about it.

15. Lance

I don't know too much about him, but I will assume he doesn't spend too much time on social media, or googling himself with all the hate he gets. But maybe if he were to read a strollonso fanfic, we might get to see him have actual expressions on his face. Granted, that would be a look of horror, but I will take what I can.

14. Carlos

I think he might combust if he read any ABO fanfic. I might want to see that.

13. Max

He is too busy sim racing to care. Good for him, I wish I could say the same about myself but alas I am too busy reading the same fanfic for the 23th time.

12. Yuki

I believe if you pronounced the term "Y/N" next to him he might assume that's a car brand. Or, like, hello in a foreign language. Again, good for him.

11. Zhou

Hear me out, fanfics seem to be quite popular in China, and he has a sister, there is no way he hasn't heard of the existences of it. I don't think he has read any though, which is for the better.

10. Franco

Our dear Franquito hasn't been on the grid for long enough to discover the amazing word that fanfics have to offer, but let me tell you that if he hasn't found out stuff yet, he'll find some soon enough. Let the writers have time to write a little bit more about him, and soon we'll get an instagram live of him reacting to those.

9. Liam

I think he is young enough to have googled himself (he had to find something to do since he's been a reserve driver since like the year 2010), but he also hasn't been a permanent member, so he might not have enough material to accidentally stumble upon.

8. Esteban

He googles himself. He knows there are fanfics. And he fucking likes that. If there is a rise of pierresteban fics on ao3 after Brazil 2024, he will be the first one to know let me tell you that much.

7. Lewis

Okay you might be wondering why this senior citizen is up here, and the answer is simple : he is too famous not to know. Like COME ON. He's been here since 2007 (which is longer than some people who'll see this post have been alive for— that's a scary thought for another day), he has been in famous and televised rivalry, and he has to live with the existence of the quote "everything but a lover" about nico and him.

There is no way he hasn't READ a fucking brocedes fanfic. If he is willing, I will teach him how to use ao3 so he can look-up some "fix-it" fics. He might use some inspiration, and who is better for that than tired college students writing about their sad ass in between lectures?

6. George

He seems like the type to lurk a lot around the internet, so the chances of him finding the link to a fic on the third page of google isn't impossible to me.

If you find any comment of someone correcting your spelling, you know who did it.

5. Pierre

He probably googles his name too often not to have stumbled upon a "Reader x Pierre Gasly" wattpad fanfic. sigh.

4. Alex

Alex, I know that you are the second most likely to have tumblr (right after george who actually has an account). The chances of you knowing what a "lemon" is is way too high for my liking.

3. Charles

The C in Charles stands for Chronically Online. My boy was known for liking tweets about himself, and we know that fans talk about fanfics on twitter. He clicked on a link of a lestappen or sebchal fanfic at least once out of curiosity let me tell you this much.

2. Lando

Too chronically online not to have read fanfics about himself. I just know he typed in "lando norris fanfiction" straight in google at least once. Jail.

1. Oscar

Here me out : his sister is a K-pop fan. If you believe that she never yapped about a fanfic she read to her brother, you are strongly unfamiliar with sibling relationships. But the chances of him not listening to her are also very high, so maybe he shouldn't be so high up my list. But oh well.

He is also good at hiding his game, but he is as online as Charles (you thought you were sneaky but we caught you clicking on that link of Max playing air-hocket dear Osc.)

For my own mental health though, I will assume he hasn't read about his own self yet.

[billskeis]

Ur writing has me kicking my feet and giggling🤭🤭

Anyway, could you maybe write a light smit type fic with 2010 Tom and a fem!reader who wears like miniskirts and crop tops(lowkey slutty). And like, enemies to lovers where Tom acts like he hates all of the outfits but in reality they just have him in a chokehold.

(Only if ur comfy with it but do whatever you want) keep up the good writing💕💕

ᡣ𐭩 jean to jean action w tom

he attempted to swallow a hard lump in his throat, mouth pursed together as his jaw clenched. he watched how you applied the lip gloss onto your lips while you stared at your reflection in the mirror.

you weren’t the only one relishing in how you looked tonight.

tom absolutely hated the shit that you wore whenever you guys went to house parties, for him, that means he isn’t the only one who gets to see you like this.

“y/n, do you have to wear that tonight?” you turn your head to look at tom with a stern look, “there’s nothing wrong with what i’m wearing tonight, i look good, don’t i?” tilting your head teasingly staring at him, not breaking eye contact. “yeah fucking right..”

he scoffs, kissing his teeth while shaking his head, “y/n. you know how men are, especially when we go out.. they’re fucking animals,” he stares you up and down to reflect on what attire you had put on this time.

showing off most if not all your skin, you wore a denim miniskirt that stops right above the cheeks of your ass, kitten heels, and a crop top that oh��doesn’t stop at your midriff, stops right above your boobs. you show off your belly piercing, it dangles whenever you take a step or move. sometimes when you raise your arms to stretch, a bit of your tattoo between your chest shows a bit. this drives him fucking insane.

you look at him, seriously?

it’s unlike him to actually say something as such, as he’s always been such an asshole about it. you would think he would get tired from the countless comments he makes about your choice of clothing which were on YOUR body. you don’t understand what his problem is. it wasn’t even like the two of you were together so why does he get a say in what you’re wearing?

you take a step, slowly, heels clacking with each movement. following you, tom backs up with every movement of yours he’s right behind you. eventually, he stumbles upon himself and falls onto the couch. you stand there, above him, smirking as he looks up at you somewhat embarrassed.

“don’t act like you haven’t been eye fucking me the whole night, tom,” you sit straddling his lap, bodies fully not touching yet. he attempts to look away not knowing what to do but you grab his braids from the back of his head making him look into your direction. “i know you want me,” “and what if i do?”

now this just took a turn.

given the situation, his hands snake around your waist to which you push them back and hold them down onto the couch, “mmh nn, what do you think you’re doing? since you wanna act brave and tell me about what i can and cannot wear,” he groans, “fuck, y/n you’re killing me over here..”

“are you gonna let me wear what i want tonight?” you’re now sat on his lap and you begin grinding your hips onto his crotch, an obvious hard on forming as you can feel it through his jeans. his eyes widen at your boldness.

now he was bold, but now that he’s met some competition.. he doesn’t know what to do.

“u-ugh.. y/n stop, we gotta go in like twenty minutes,” “no tom, listen to me. are you going to let me wear what i want, hm?” grinding down even harder, the friction becoming arousing, you feel yourself becoming wetter every time you rotate your hips on tom.

with every second, he feels himself losing composure. he brings a hand from the couch to lift up the denim miniskirt you had on, seeing the wet spot on your panties grow bigger, dropping his head onto the couch letting you do all the work. “so? what’s it gonna be babe,” you bounce a bit on tom to where he’s now grabbing your hips, guiding your body to bring him closer to the edge.

“fuckfuckfuck fine, you can wear it just.. once we come back just know to be prepared for what comes next..” “mmhm, we’ll see about that,” the both of you now move in sync, you lean in to kiss tom, tongues tangling with one another.

tom deepens the kiss as he feels your tongue purposely lick his lip piercing. as you kiss one another, the two of you both feel your high coming closer, tom losing his composure faster than you are. breaking the kiss, a string of saliva keeps the two of you connected, “gonna come f’me pretty boy?” tom nods as he ruts his clothed crotch into yours.

despite the presence of your clothes, the sensation of it feels amazing. circling your hips together, the feeling through your panties of tom’s jean hem hitting your clit is just right.

“coming..!” tom groans, snaking both arms around your naked waist, he thrusts himself to an orgasm, shaking a bit. you allow tom to ride his high out, grinding slowly but harshly as you feel your own orgasm coming. it’s obvious his hit harder than yours as you were able to quickly compose yourself. him on the other hand, not so much.

“baby..” tom breathes deeply as he tries to catch his breath, you get off his lap and kiss his cheek, wiping a bit of the sweat off his forehead. giggling you begin to walk away, “m’ gonna change my bottoms, you should too,” turning to enter your shared bedroom.

he looks down at the now obvious wet spot on his jeans, not knowing if the cum on it is yours or his.

“fuck, i really wanted to wear these..”

[itsangelll]

𝙵𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚊 𝙳𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎 ❦

A/n:WELL it’s been a bit since I’ve had a damn fic out and I’d sincerely like to apologise. I forgot I had tumblr for a while and I know I’m lazy with fics. BUT HERES THIS ONE!! Took me 3 months to finish it it’s insane guys but I hope you all enjoy!! 💋

pairings:Tom 2010 x f!reader

genre:smut

warnings:swearing fingering and squirting!!

Under 15 dni

please don’t steal or copy my works thank you.

You and Tom were at an after party with the humanoid album just released it made a huge difference, it was selling world wide. you were chatting with the band “Tom I’m gonna go grab a drink I’ll be back.” He nodded and continued chatting with the band barely paying any attention towards you.

You walk over to the bar nodding at the bartender “what can I get for you?” she asked “whatever I don’t mind.” A few seconds later you skulled your drink down to feel somewhat tispy to at least lighten up this party, you feel a tap on your shoulder you turn around and you were greeted with a handsome man.

“You want some company love?” he asked looking intrigued you look over at Tom seeing he’s still wrapped up in a conversation, so you nod “yeah sure have a seat”. He smiled and sat next to you “so how come your all alone?” “Oh I just went to grab a drink since my own boyfriend is too wrapped up in a conversation to talk to me.” skulling down another drink he nods.

“Well I must say you’re quite beautiful if I was dating you I’d make sure all my attention was on you.” you swat his arm playfully laughing. Tom looked over in your direction his expression darkened, his grip tightened on his glass it could shatter.

He excused himself from the group and made his way over to you. You and the guy from the bar were laughing your asses off till you felt a pair of arms grip your waist tightly, Tom lowered his head as he whispered “Go upstairs now.” you shook your head standing your ground, “I’m actually having a conversation with someone if your not fucking blind you can wait.”

Taking another sip of your drink you could cut the tension with a knife Tom pulled you up from the stool “I told you to get the fuck upstairs.” you ignored him and without another word, he pushed you foward forcing you upstairs you didn’t move still standing your ground. “Do I have to do everything my fucking self” he muttered he lifted you up off the ground and took you up the steps into a room slamming the door behind him.

He set you down gently on the ground his gaze burning into yours leaning against the wall “So you wanna explain to me what the fuck happened downstairs?” His voice raised you shrugged “Nothing happened someone wanted to keep me company so I let him am I not allowed to talk to other guys now?” a bit of attitude in your tone.

He scoffed “You sure nothing happened because you two looked pretty cozy from where I was sitting.” You rolled your eyes “You weren’t even paying attention to me anyways at least someone was.” Tom got off the wall and walked closer to you trapping you between his body and the wall. He gripped your chin firmly making you look up towards him his jaw clenched.

“You know I’m getting real fucking sick of your attitude towards me liebe I do everything for you and this is how I get treated?” His voice low and firm you stayed silent not knowing what to say, “Typical” you stared daggers at him “You know what fuck you tom if you payed some attention to me we wouldn’t even be arguing now.”

Tom absolutely snapped he grabbed you and threw you on the bed he towered over you crashing his lips onto yours in a hungry kiss “you’re such a fucking brat” he murmured against your lips then biting on your bottom lip. He grabbed your hips tightly, you whined against his lips desire coursing through your body.

He bit down on your lower lip before pulling away, his dark orbs boring into yours. His hands ripping of your shorts then your underwear throwing them somewhere in the room. “You know I’ve done everything for you and this is how I get treated?” Tom spoke, you couldn’t say much cause it was true you’ve been acting like a bitch these past few weeks.

He scoffed and lifted your chin up, his lips connecting with your neck. Before biting down harshly on the skin you hissed the pain coming through more than normal. His calloused fingers snaked its way down to your cunt before brutally plunging a finger deep into your hole (okay no.) you moaned your hands gripping the bed sheets.

Tom’s lips left your neck his forehead resting against yours, his finger still moving in and out of your cunt before slowly sliding a second finger in, then his thumb moving in harsh circles on your clit, “T-Tom it’s too much please.” your voice shaky “Hush you can take it you’ll be fine.” His voice sharp.

You moaned and writhed against him. His fingers not letting up carefully putting a third finger in and that fucking hurt his thumb moved even more harsh on your clit it becoming puffy and swollen. (no.) the knot in your stomach was getting tighter and your legs started shaking but Tom wasn’t letting up, he kept going at his harsh pace.

Within a few seconds you couldn’t take it anymore you hand clutched his jeans and you moaned his name loudly, squirting all over his fingers he moaned lowly at the sight of that. “Well well would you look at that.”

The smirk evident in his tone Tom removed his fingers out of your cunt grabbing a tissue to clean his fingers off, getting up from the bed and grabbing a towel to clean you up. (AWH AINT HE SWEET??) He pressed a kiss to your forehead and wrapped his arms around your waist. You blissfully fell asleep in his arms.

A/n:It was a bit rushed towards the end but I’m hoping that I can come out with more fics rather than every three months cause I’ll feel bad if I starve you guys :( but I hope you guys enjoys mwah mwah bye cuties <33

Taglist:

@itsmealaiah

@jadedchar

@chinoslefttoehair

@bambiwrites

@memzyyy

@tomsbbg

@tomksslut

@rottinglilys

[cherrycherrylady2024]

Christmas with the Grimes'

(Dilf! Rick Grimes x reader) Word count: 2,675

Warnings: 18+ for real. NSFW, some angst, fingering, hickeys, grinding, light choking/hair pulling? I need Rick Grimes so bad

Chapter 3: In your dreams

“So then Martian Man defeats the evil robot, except the robot was actually his half-brother the whole time, so he gets really sad at the end of issue #4. Then in #5 he-” Carl was giving you the entire lore behind his new comic book, and you put on your best listening face, while Judith tapped on her phone, having already heard this. Except you weren’t really listening whatsoever. Your mind was in a frenzy of activity. Did he see? Does he know? Who are you kidding, of course he knows. Your face was still red with embarrassment since the incident half an hour ago. If only Carl and Judith weren’t expecting you, you’d have hidden under Rick’s blanket for the rest of the day. Maybe the rest of winter break, but who’s to say?

You wanted to punch him in his stupid handsome face for making you feel like this. Either punch or kiss. Maybe both. That look Rick gave you, you couldn’t get it out of your head. It was nearly a smirk, but more subtle and prideful. Like he knew what he would catch you doing. He knew how you felt. You were petrified to see him again. “...and I haven’t read the new comic yet, but I heard it’s supposed to be pretty good! Do ya wanna borrow it when I'm done?” Carl questioned. You snapped out of your daze. “Oh! Yes, totally. Thanks,” You replied. Judith got up from Carl’s twin bed, where she lounged, “Alright Carl, it’s my turn with y/n. You read your new comic til dinner.” With the word ‘dinner’ you felt your stomach twist unpleasantly, your mind on the verge of implosion. With a whine of “Alriiight,” Carl sat down at his little desk and began poring over the pages. 

Judith led you down the opposite hallway towards her bedroom. As you followed, you passed the only other bedroom in the house. The door was slightly ajar. You heard the floorboards creak underneath him as he padded around the room. Rick was putting away laundry, sloppily folding pants and shirts, and didn’t notice your quick passing. Or at least he didn’t show it. You had lingered back just slightly, but thankfully Judith didn’t notice as you caught right back up with her. “Okay, so I’m right down the hall from you if you need anything. It’ll be weird not sharing a room, right?” she said as she entered her bedroom. “Oh yeah, super weird. What am I going to do without your snoring lulling me to sleep?” you mocked. “You know you love it,” she said, plopping on her bed. Judith's room was adorned with fading pink floral wallpaper, posters, sports trophies, books, and photos. “Anyways this is my room, it clearly hasn't been updated since 2010 but it’s still a vibe,” Judith said. You picked up a photo from her bookshelf. It appeared to be from a high school dance, as Judith wore what could only be considered the ugliest, most ruffled, unflattering dress in the world, and was holding hands with a gawky teenage boy. Both Judith and the boy awkwardly smiled for the photo, turning out more like grimaces with mouths full of braces. “It is totally still a vibe,” you said turning back to her with the picture, containing your laughter. “Fuck off!” she cried, jumping up and snatching the photo from you as you burst out in giggles, “We all make mistakes, it was sophomore year for god's sake,” she said. “I am begging you. Please bring that back to the dorms with us. Please! It can be my Christmas present” you choked out in between laughter, sitting at her desk. Judith gazed at the photo, “I can’t believe I made out with him that night” she said. “Oh god, please no” you responded in horror. “I think our braces got stuck together” she pondered. “PLEASE you’re gonna make me sick” you laughed, covering your ears. Judith snorted and placed it back on the shelf, “Hold on, you’re gonna die when you see this. I think I have it in here,” she said, as she looked hurriedly through her bookshelf. She pulled out a photo album, “Here!” she exclaimed, flipping through the pages. She landed on one and handed it to you, “Talk about bad Prom pictures.”

It was another prom photo, but it appeared to be from the late 80s/early 90s. A tall thin brunette woman grinned widely, almost painfully, at the camera, her dress clearly a hand-me-down from the mid-80s. She held awkwardly at arm's length a man who looked a year or two older. He wore a suit with a ruffle on the collar, which also screamed hand-me-downs. If it weren’t for those eyes, you wouldn't have even recognized Rick Grimes. He looked much less self-assured, maybe even nervous, and probably 10 years younger than the photo you had seen of him in the hallway. “The fucking posing gets me every time, look at my mom's face” Judith laughed. Your stomach started to hurt. “That's your mom?” you questioned. “Yeah,” Judith replied, “The whole photo album’s pictures of her. We made it right after she died as like a commemorative therapy type-thing. Flip through it,” She suggested as she began unzipping her suitcase. You turned the pages slowly. Rick was in many of the photos, but most prominently featured was Mrs. Grimes. You didn’t even know her name. Judiths mom. Ricks wife. The anxious knots in your stomach seemed to tighten more and more. “I’m gonna go lay down.” You stated, hurriedly standing, leaving the photo album on the desk. Judith looked up at you from her suitcase with a hint of concern. “I’m just – tired. I’ll let you unpack,” you added. “Okay,” Judith shrugged. You began to leave, “Oh and I think dinner’s at 7!” she mentioned. Your stomach did flips, but you gritted your teeth, “Okay!”

You shut your bedroom door behind you and climbed into bed, wrapping the covers around yourself. The clock on your nightstand read 5 pm. Your mind was racing. You felt sick with anxiety. Were you a bad person? Are you imagining this all? Every look, or brush of the hands. Were you convincing yourself of something that isn't really there? He's a grown married man. What about Judith? Were you going to ruin the best friendship you’d ever had? Have you already ruined it? Rick knew. He must think you’re a freak. A nuisance. What is wrong with you? What is wrong with you? What is wrong with you? You couldn’t stop the tornado of thoughts in your mind as you drifted off into a fretful slumber.

~~~

You chopped the large bar of dark chocolate into messy chunks, sneaking a few slivers into your mouth now and then. The kitchen around you was endless, spanning into a vague sea of warm glowing nothingness. In fact, there really was no kitchen at all. Just the kitchen island, where you stood, chopping the chocolate bar. Perhaps you were making cookies. Yes, that's what it was: you were chopping the chocolate bar to put into chocolate chunk cookies. You were content, humming to yourself. Maybe this is all you ever did. It was bright and beautiful and heavenly familiar. Two arms snaked their way around your waist, another familiar feeling, Rick's hips to your back as he held you tightly. You breathed deeply at the sensation, lolling your head back to rest on his chest. He stole a tiny piece of chocolate from your cutting board and slipped it into his mouth. You could feel his belt buckle pressing against your skin, leaving an indentation. His heartbeat reverberated through your body as if you were one, the warmth of his chest against your cheek. Wordlessly he dipped his head down, so close you felt his breath against your neck, you could smell the chocolate, his beard slightly scratching you. You dropped your knife and gripped the counter tightly as you felt his lips ever-so-slightly brush against your throat, neck, and ear sequentially. Almost like he was inhaling you. Searching for the right spot. He hesitated, making you wait. His hands gripped you tightly to him. Almost possessive, like you were his. One slowly traveled completely around your waist to the other side, pinning you to him while the other slid down. His palm was stretched wide, his fingertips brushing past where your thigh connects to your hips. The proximity of his hand to where you wanted so badly to be touched was enough to make you let out a little whine. His grip settles on your pelvis bone as he pulls you to him somehow even tighter. You communicated without words, begging him for more. Anything. He slowly lowered his lips to the side of your neck, leaving a feather-light kiss that sent shivers through your body. You pressed your hips back into him impatiently, needing more. He held your hips in place, his grasp verging on slightly painful. But it felt so good. He lightly kissed your neck again, near your jaw. Then, very slowly he moved near your ear, kissing you again. It was like he had all the time in the world to make you unravel.

He trailed down your neck towards your collarbone, his kisses becoming deeper, his lips parting more and more as if to taste you. You craned your head for more access. More, more, more. He groaned against your neck, grinding his hips into yours. His hands began to move over your body, groping and squeezing. One of your hands ran through his hair, pushing his head, his mouth, closer to your skin. The other hand was on top of his, leading his fingers down, down, down. A nearly pornographic sound escaped your lips when he finally cupped his warm hand in between your legs, his fingers applying just the right pressure to your clothed clit. You felt him smile against your throat, before resuming his languid assault on your neck. You moved your hips against his hand as he continued massaging your aching cunt incredibly slowly. “Please Rick” you begged. He was silent, but his fingers sped up incrementally. His other hand squeezed your breast, tracing your hardened nipple through your shirt. He hummed in your ear, clearly enjoying seeing you like this. You rutted your hips into his hand, the pleasure building in your core. Like a rubber band about to snap. He moved his other hand swiftly from your breast to your throat, slowing you down. He gripped it solidly, making you lose your breath. He turned your head to face him as his fingers sped up. You looked up at him, drunk on pleasure, and panting in his face. He smiled down at you, making eye contact that couldn’t be broken even if you tried. You were reaching your climax and he could tell. He stroked your neck, still looking down at you, then ran his fingers past the nape of your neck and through your hair. He gripped a fistful and pulled gently from the roots, forcing you to twist your head and shoulders even more towards him, cocking your head back. He gazed down at you through lidded eyes, studying your face. Your neck was now more exposed to him and he began kissing and sucking marks into your skin, his fingers never stopping, his other hand still pulling your head back. It was all too much for you. You were going to come. “R-rick-” you stuttered. He kissed a trail up your neck, reaching your mouth but keeping his centimeters apart. You breathed in each other's air and you writhed needily, wanting his lips on yours. You were moments away from coming, and let a choked moan escape. He swallowed it down when he finally connected your lips in the most filthy, needy, sloppy kiss. The rubber band snapped and you came hard. Waves of euphoric pleasure racked your body and you moaned into his mouth as he deepened the kiss even more. You could taste the hint of chocolate on his lips as you rode out your climax on his hand, your hips stuttering. He pulled away suddenly, right after your peak, and you opened your eyes in surprise.

You were met with the walls of your dark bedroom surrounding you, and Rick's blanket between your legs.

One of your hands was beneath your raised shirt, and the other was gripping Rick's blanket with an iron fist. Your legs still shook from your orgasm as you gained your bearings. It was a dream. You swore you could still taste a hint of the phantom chocolate. Even though no one had seen, you couldn’t help but feel embarrassed at your… wet dream? Sex dream? Whatever it was. Your subconscious sleeping state had been grinding against Rick Grimes’ blanket as you slept. The dream had felt so real it was unnerving, and you were having difficulty returning to reality. But you also oddly felt better. Maybe it was all out of your system now, and things could just be normal. You were refreshed. Except for the fact that you were extremely thirsty. All that sex dreaming, your brain chimed in. You reached for your phone on the nightstand, but accidentally knocked it off in the dark.

The dark.

Dinner.

What time was it? How long have you been asleep? Sex dreaming, you mentally corrected yourself. You scrabbled for your phone on the ground, flipping it over. The screen lit up, reading 2:12 AM. You had slept through dinner to dream about a fuck-fest with your best friends dad. Woof. While you were still slightly ashamed, you couldn't dispute the fact that it was fucking hot. You kept replaying the dream in your mind. It felt so real. You got out of bed, removed the bundled-up blanket from between your legs, and headed downstairs for some water. The way his lips felt on your neck. His facial hair tickling at your skin. His hands on your body. You knew it was wrong but you wished so badly it was real. Your body clearly did too, as you felt that familiar tingling sensation return in your belly. It made you want to get back in bed and touch yourself until sunrise. Get a grip. You reached the living room and began crossing through to get to the kitchen. 

“Y/n?” came a dark voice from the couch.

You nearly jumped out of your skin, letting out a little gasp in surprise. You could make out a figure in the dark, now sitting up. A sliver of snowy moonlight caught his face and you recognized Rick, holding a half-drunk glass of whiskey. “You missed dinner,” he drawled with a smile, taking a sip of whiskey. You were still frozen in the doorway, unsure if this was even real or not. What was he doing awake? “I- sorry. I don’t know what happened. I didn’t mean to sleep so long…” you say. He waved his hand in dismissal, “It’s fine, I know you girls had a long day,” he said, placing his whiskey on the glass coffee table with a clink. “Plus I’ve never been much of a chef. We ended up gettin’ Chinese food,” he added. Your stomach grumbled hungrily at the mention of food, and you clapped a hand over it in embarrassment. Rick chortled, “I can heat some up for you if ‘ya like. We can’t have you starvin’ to death.” He stood, picked up his glass, and walked towards the kitchen. You trailed behind him, “It’s okay, I can do it. You don’t have to” you pestered. “I want to,” he stated, looking at you briefly as he retrieved a container from the fridge. That shut you up. You sat at the kitchen island, your mind wandering back to your dream. If you weren't definitely, totally, over him, this would be pretty nerve-wracking you thought. Good thing I'm all better now. He opened the box of fried rice and, oddly, got out a pan and put it on the stove. Was he reheating it for you on the actual stove? “I really don’t mind, you can just microwave it. I don’t want you to go to any trouble,” you offer nervously. He dumped the fried rice into the pan with a sizzle, and looked over to you with a smile, 

“I want to, honey. Just let me take care of 'ya.”

...

Sooo, actually you lied. You needed this man more than ever before. Fuck it.

***

notes: tee hee hee, i was giggling and kicking my feet writing this. anyways thx for waiting the past few days I hope this is satisfactory, there's a lot more to come! Literally. PS I've never written a sexy scene before so lmk what u think <3

[dear-ao3]

new to f1 - can i ask for some team history? have red bull always been so dominant? how often do the cycles change??

yes yes ok So who’s dominant depends on a lot of things, drivers yea but mostly the car and who can make the regulations work for them. you can be the best driver but if you’re in a shit box you’re Fucked.

so presently red bull is dominating, max won in 2021 but they properly started dominating in 2022. this was cause of the big change in regulations mostly.

they change the regulations all the time but big changes are every few years for a variety of things: driver safety sometimes, making the cars have a lesser environmental impact, making things just plain more interesting, putting people on a level playing field etc etc. the last batch of regulations that caused mercedes fall from grace was i believe the cost cap. previously you could spend whatever the hell you wanted on the car and everything else. and Now there is a cost cap. this was done to try and bring the teams all closer together because previously it was all the top four or so teams that had all the money and would win things and then the back marker teams were just there. i don’t remember offhand what the cost cap is but i do know you can’t spend more than that each year on Everything (including crash repairs i’m Pretty sure) which keeps things interesting. anyway that and the other changes that got implemented in 2021 (?) caused red bulls rise to dominance.

mercedes had been dominating before then and won the constructors (team championship) from 2014-2021 (max won the drivers in 2021) and lewis hamilton won in 14 and 15 and then 17-20. nico rosberg won in 2016 (lewis’s teammate. he then retired after his first win. no one has ever done it like him and no one ever will again but we do Not have time for that). mercedes i believe only became a team in 2010 (?) they had been on the grid previously like Years ago but made a return in 2010 and had a few shit years before, surprise surprise, a regulation change went in their favor and they built a rocket ship.

prior to mercedes it was back at red bull. they won in 2010-2013 both constructors and drivers with sebastian vettel winning the drivers championships all 4 years. and i’m pretty sure it was another regulation change that caused them to rise to the top. red bull had been doing Okay prior to then but they i think only entered the grid in 2004(????) after buying the jaguar team

prior to 2010 there were several years where there wasn’t really multi year dominance by any one team.

jenson button won in 2009 with brawn (???) and that was a surprise to everyone especially the team and turns out they just so happened to build a good car that year.

lewis hamilton won at mclaren in 2008 at the end of a very very close season. i believe he won in the last race and it was a matter of a few points separating him and felipe massa at ferrari

2007 was won by kimi raikkonen at ferrari in yet another close season, lewis hamilton nearly won this season and it was his rookie season

then we had two years of fernando alonso at i think it was renault (which is now alpine) in 2005 and 2006.

prior to that was the real era of dominance from 2000-2004 with michael schumacher at ferrari

prior to that i’m not really sure of the teams and i’m in a car and not fact checking Any of this so i could be totally wrong about what i’m saying lol. but there were several years of williams dominance in the 90s and mclaren again had another few years i Think.

anyway. to answer your question. yes there are eras of dominance but it is far more interesting when it’s not because then multiple people are winning the races. like this season is the first time since 2021 there’s a proper title fight (at least for the constructors) since 2021 and we’ve had something like 7 i think different race winners, which hasn’t happened in A While

i hope this was helpful? if not feel free to ask me more questions

[condensed-ink]

I've been thinking a lot about #FixTF2 and I know that some might have their doubts about the movement, however, I've realized that, even if it does not succeed in getting Valve's attention, it will end up contributing towards an important development in recent years - the shift in the public perception of Valve.

If you are person who was growing up in the early 2010's then you obviously remember how Valve games were essentially the cultural zeitgeist of the time, how you would see pictures of King Gaben on every meme/YouTube thumbnail during a Steam Summer Sale. As I understand it, Valve essentially rode this wave of good will throughout the 2010's. Even when everyone was getting frustrated with the lack of sequels for games such as HL2 and L4D2, some people would just excuse it with "ah y'know Valve, not communicating and not doing anything is just their style, this is just probably part of Gaben's 5D chess - tier master plan". However, the cracks in this image have been slowly showing up for a long time:

Portal fans haven't had anything since Portal 2's release back in 2011. We have had some small VR titles but that's hardly any consolation.

Left for Dead 2 came out all the way back in 2009 with nothing afterwards. As of June of 2024, the game still has more than 10 thousand concurrent players yet it is also unplayable for a significant amount of people due to reported DDos attacks.

The suffering of Half - life fans at this point is a meme in itself. The only thing we got was HL:Alyx back in 2020 and, even though it's a very good game, it was inaccessible to a lot of people at launch due the costs and lack of VR hardware. We were left on a cliff-hanger AGAIN and four years later we have no news of any follow-up.

In my opinion, Valve to some extent could ignore these fandoms since they were smaller compared to their big earners. But it is the recent issues with these bigger titles that have started to test everyone's patience and tolerance for Valve's bullshit:

Team Fortress 2 - I mean what else is there to say: rampant cheating and idle bots, bot hosters doxxing and swatting people. The bots crisis has been destroying the game for the past 5 years. If we remember the original SaveTF2 movement, it had a more positive tone, i. e., people talking about how much they love the game and pleading Valve to fix it. Well, one shitty tweet and two years later the tone has gone from "Please fix the game" to "FIX THE FUCKING GAME YOU ASSHOLES" and rightfully so.

CS2 also has a myriad of issues. CS:GO became CS2 after the game jumped to the Source 2 engine, but the resulting game, by many accounts, is a downgrade. A lot of game modes and maps from the original game were not included and are still not present as of June of 2024. Cheaters are rampant. To what degree I cannot say but it is to an extent where a significant enough portion of the player base is affected. Also, the game hasn't had an operation (major content update) since 2021. The player count is still high, but a lot voices in the community have been chewing out Valve for this level of incompetence.

With DOTA 2 I cannot say for sure. Some people talk about neglect whilst others say the game is in a decent state considering the game still gets frequent updates and patches. At most I can say that there is a portion of players that are dissatisfied with the state of the game but most likely to a much lesser extent than in the previous cases.

HOWEVER

All of that is just one part of the double whammy, the second part is probably is much worse than the first - a lack of continuity for Valve's legacy.

I mean, let's think about it for a second here: most of us who grew with the Valve classics are probably in our mid-to late twenties at this point. Of course, I'm not saying that there aren't any younger fans but the bulk is the old guard. I'm pretty sure a lot of kids and teenagers don't even know a lot about these games and it's not their fault, they weren't old enough to experience them. The blame lies SOLELY with Valve because they have done NOTHING to boost the visibility of their older series due to the fact that they haven't bothered to make a single proper sequel for any of them.

And speaking of visibility, Valve's advertising strategy is non - existent and downright insulting . They really have this holier-than-thou perception of themselves, where they think "I am THE Valve softworks, makers of TF2 and Half-Life! How could you NOT know of us?!?!" and then expect everyone else to spread news of their games through word-of-mouth. Like, I'm sorry, Gabe, but we don't owe you shit. I'm not gonna advertise your shitty card-game and upcoming mediocre 5v5 hero shooter just because I had fun playing TF2 back in high school. Like, it's no surprise that you're not gaining any new fans when this has been your modus operandi for the past 10 years.

TO CONCLUDE

This is where we are right now: the old guard is either apathetic or straight-up hates Valve for their negligence, the younger generation barely knows about most of Valve's OG game series due to the lack of any meaningful output. At the end of the day, Valve isn't going to bankrupt, they're gonna keep taking their 30% cut from Steam and peddling gambling addictions to kids via cases. However, the era of good will is over, nobody is cutting them any slack anymore and, frankly, they deserve all the shit that's going to get thrown at them.

[that-one-kiddo-in-the-back]

Fandoms creepy obsession with torture... Lily doesn't understand depression or trauma.

I've been sitting on this one for a while, so let's dig in. Today's word of the day is "Martry," a person who is killed for a belief.

Right off the bat, Lily starts talking about how we as a fandom is obsessed with the torture of WOC using Korra, Luz, and Anne and an example for a dark joke she made in her moon girl review and in this video she's only gonna be using Korra, Luz, and some She-ra.

She starts with Korra and the torture she experienced with the red lotus, the group that's been trying to kill Korra ever since she was born, and how in her Korra is garbage she was pretty harsh for how it portrays her trauma at the final season. She then goes on to explain the torture scene, how you saw everything in all its gory detail, makes a small insult towards Korra's VA, then how she's tossed around like a rag doll then almost suffocated with the end of all that being shown Korra weakly reaching for her father before she passes out... "a heartbreaking shot that is under cut by the sheer sadisticly glee the writers had when the tortured Korra." Something I found kinda funny was that in her long ass Korra is garbage video, she complained that you didn't see a dictator...acting like a dicktator. Korra is the main character in a made for teen show made in 2012, so yeah, you're gonna see the poor girl getting beaten down. In the 2010s, a lot of shows that were aimed for teenagers showed a bunch of main characters getting beaten down with barely any psychological effects. Teen wolf, young justice, the fosters, your name, and Chronicle all shows during the 2010s that displayed pretty horrific scenes of torture or just getting beaten up and that wasn't because of the fandom or the writers being fucking weird it was more of a trend that started out of nowhere.

Lily then decided to call that all torture porn all because Korra's trauma is erased, with there still some mercury in her body. She then goes on about "how people said that Korra's behavior is realistic because that's what people think trauma looked like you being sad and demotivated." She continues by explaining that trauma is deeper than which is true to a degree. That fact is trauma is not one thing. You can be depressed and not even want to get out of bed, which changes how you think. Lily thinks that just because Korra was able to slowly pick herself up that she's back to normal and not bothered by almost getting killed to which I say Lily did you really want to see Korra have panic attacks and constantly hallucinat? Because it sounds like you do.

At the end of her talking about Korra, she finishes it by saying that the torture wasn't necessarily and a big fuck you to character development and that it was just the writers getting off to the idea of torturing women... now to Luz.

Lily starts out by saying that Dana terrace is really into depressing and the macabre, but on a fan girl surface level and still thinks creepy pasta is cool (keep that shit out of your mouth Lily) Lily really can't help herself but to drag women/nb/transmen creators through the mud in her Korra section she didn't name drop or even show a picture of the creators or writers even though she said the men where showing off their creepy "torture fetish" before watching this I watched her video on Catra and Adora's relationship and how abusive Catra is and Lily called ND Stevenson a Creep and an abuse fetishist and I think this all comes from a place of jealousy because they were able to make something amazing and be green light for shows where no one is a right mind would trust Lily with a five dollar bill.

After Lily was finally able to pull herself away from talking shit on female creators, she finally started talking about Luz's trauma, bringing up how, in the last episode of the first season after Eda was dragged away she starts to fight Lilith and says that was her trauma response which it's not really. Eda being captured was the beginning of the traumatic experiences Luz was gonna go through. As the show went on, you can see more of Luz blaming herself for things out of her control. Even when it was the smallest thing, she'd go way out of her way to make it up. Luz's trauma response is trying to fix what she broke she's the kind of person that would bring treats as an apology and tell the person she wronged how sorry she is for a week.

Lily then goes on to complain that in season 3, she doesn't do anything she mops around instead of trying to fight like in season 1, but a lot has happened between 1 and 3 Luz's trauma and depression all falls from her blaming herself for everything that happened.

Eda being captured, seeing her mother and the promise she made, failing to attend her father's grave, seeing all of the past golden guards empty helmets, watching Hunter get dragged under by belos, finding out she help belos met the collector who in turn gave him the draining spell, and the final nail in the coffin being King sacrificing himself to protect her resulting in Luz and her friends being stuck in the human realm with no idea if their parents and family are alright. Who the fuck wouldn't be depressed after all that?! She says she wanted a scene where Luz talks about her trauma which she already does she talks to her mother she knows that everyone else isn't having a good time either so she doesn't want to talk about it. If you found out all of your friends were not doing so hot, would you really want to bother them with your problems? That's the thing with deep deep depression it makes you think the world would be better off without you. That you're a pest to your friends and family and that they would be happier without you, which isn't true, and even when you know that you can't stop thinking that anyway. Lily talks about depression like it's something easy to get over with, that if Luz just really sat down and talked about it, she'd instantly feel better and go back to her ass kicking self but that fact that she didn't Luz is now a terrible girlfriend.

Now, we all know how Lily deals with people who have crippling depression which to say she kicks them to the curb and dusts off her hands of the situation. Remember Lily broke up with someone who was in a horrible state of depression saying that she was being toxic and a waste of time, and to that, I say what kind of a cruel person ditches someone like that?

She calls Luz a shit person for having crippling depression for not talking about the root of her self blame. Luz has been keeping her role in helping belos with the mass genocide and other things a secret and lies because she believes the truth would hurt them more she's not being a shit person on purpose. Luz never expected her friends to paddle her bad behavior or to even shower her with affection she's expecting the opposite. She thinks that if she tells them the truth, they will look at her with disgust and leave her, you know, like the mind trap the collector put her in that showed her worst nightmare. That you would have known if you watched it!!!

Lily once again blames Dana for not having a crying scene when her show was canceled, and instead, we got a realistic depiction of crippling depression. She goes back on calling everyone in the fandom creepy fucks that like our slow burn hurt with no comfort fics and how we like it even more when it's with women and black people. Now I like my edgy fan fiction, and it's not because I like seeing black women getting tortured. I simply like it as an outlet. I like seeing strong men and other characters at their lowest. Seeing how people write out how they would react most of the stuff I read, I would never want to happen to me or my loved ones. Hell, if my friends tell me their in a depressed state, I'm not gonna leave them to dry (like some people).

Lily also really has the biggest balls to call professional writers bad when she only writes fanfiction she's done it with RS, ND, and Dana. As if she could do better. I write fanfiction, and I would never put myself up there with actual show writers and published authors she brings up her shit Star Wars fic, saying how her fan base around the story wanted to see the angst that she scrapped out then proceeded to call them all racist and sexist for wanting angst. This shows that her fic is so boring that people want to see more things happen.

And now we are finally towards the end of this garbage video, where she brings up how, in her personal life, she used to like being called names, and her "friends" told her it's just a kink and it doesn't mean anything but her therapist told her it's a problem she then goes onto say that she was making herself worse until she met people who loved her and that kink went away... now I'm glad she was able to fix her own problem, but that's not a universal thing. Some people need outlets, and kinks can sometimes help. It's not for everyone but to call people liars, freaks, and judge them for their own outlets is a fucked up thing to do.

Lastly, no writer has the intention of having their audience of kids jacking off to torture scenes. I think that says more about you, Lily, if that's what your conclusion was. The writers weren't freaks because you thought it was hot.

Do yourselves a favor and don't take mental health advice or writing advice from Lily.

[1863-project]

For the ask game: common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about?

[ask meme]

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

I...actually get frustrated with the infantilization and/or demonization of characters that could be read as autistic, because it happens so often and there's such a lack of self-awareness when people do it. If one person headcanons it, a bunch of other people pile on, and before you know it, your character is being treated like someone else entirely - and unfairly so.

Let's take the most obvious example and the reason I don't engage with fandom much:

I am so tired of what fandom at large has done to Emmet since 2010. He's been infantilized since day one, often being portrayed as needing Ingo to take care of him or otherwise be his brother's keeper. He's also been turned into a violent, 'unhinged' stereotype since day one. Neither of these things are new. They've been happening since the release of the games. Neither of them have any basis in his canon characterization - a competent railroad employee who's a goofball but simultaneously responsible and always puts safety first.

I was hoping people had moved past that the way they moved past Blankshipping (though some people still do this, too, EW), but it seems like they haven't. Emmet is still either a helpless child or a serial killer waiting to happen to so many of these people, and as someone who actually felt so validated and seen the first time she discovered Ingo and Emmet, it hurts so deeply.

In real life, I'm also infantilized. I turn 35 this year and have a Master’s degree and work a big grown-up adult archivist job and live outside my parents' house, but because I'm neurodivergent and short, I'm frequently assumed to be and am treated like a teenager way more often than you'd reasonably expect. It's incredibly frustrating to constantly be treated like an innocent child because you don't meet neurotypical benchmarks of adulthood the way they want you to or because of the way you carry yourself or enjoy things. But at the same time, people shy away from me because I'm "too intense" about the things I care about.

Sound familiar?

Fandom was, when I was a younger girl, a place where neurodivergent people (especially autistic and ADHD people) were safe from the real world not understanding, accommodating, and accepting us. We generally kept things on the down-low, since it was another thing we'd be bullied for if people knew, but for us, it was a safe space. Then people realized fandom could be commodified, and once capitalism got a hold on fandom and made it mainstream, all our bullies were suddenly in our little space again, and...well, you probably know the rest. (Yeah, they brought their ableism with them.)

I'm not saying old fandom didn't have its problems. It had a LOT of problems. But it was, altogether, a safer space for neurodivergent people to find community and themselves than it is now. Now it feels more about producing things and moving on to the next big thing to produce more "content" to keep engagement instead of an actual community of nerdy, passionate people getting excited about each other's fanworks and chatting about their favorite things together.

And that reflects in how people treat autistic and autistic-coded characters now. Emmet is one example of many - look at Papyrus, or Entrapta, or numerous others.

This trend really, really fucking hurts, and I cannot stand how willingly fandom spaces just go along with it without thinking critically about it.

[marzipanandminutiae]

The post about "we need feminism because there's a men's rights movement in LGBT" is from radfems. "Baeddelations" has a pinned post about being a baeddel, "men's rights" in this context pretty much means trans men speaking about being trans men. (I'm not denying issues in the community but I know you've wanted it pointing out when you've missed dogwhistles before, and the post is all very thinly veilled references.)

I did some looking into this, because I was not familiar with the term "baeddel."For anyone else who didn't know: It's an Old English word generally meaning "effeminate or castrated man" as far as I can tell, and some transfem people adopted it primarily back in the 2010s (although some still use it, like the user in question). Baeddels in the modern sense claim to focus on transmisogyny and trans women's issues...but as you say, some can lapse into prejudice against trans men. To the point where, while it doesn't seem like they ALL hold that view, it has become one of the most prominent things about the movement. Kind of like radfems and transphobia. The poster in question seemed, when I looked through their blog, to come down in the middle- there were some comments that raised my eyebrows, but not as extreme as things I saw on other blogs.

I went back and forth about what to do re: the post in question, though. Because I don't want to be associated with hatred of trans men, since. You know. I don't hate trans men. However, I do feel that the modern left, and even the LGBT community, believes misogyny has been fixed and refuses to examine the undercurrents thereof that women in these circles still struggle with.

(Trans men can be misogynistic. NB people can be misogynistic. Anyone can be misogynistic, and the community letting misogynistic people off the hook because they're not cis men, or the expectation thereof, is a real issue that I have witnessed/experienced IRL. Shoutout to the trans guy who insisted I let him do everything for me out in public, and got mad when I didn't want to, because it "made him feel more masculine" so I should apparently just shut up and act helpless, for example.)

(There's also been a lot of "not all men" going around in response to women expressing frustration with the bullshit we face for our gender, which is like. Come on. I thought we all figured out in the 2010s that no-one sensible is talking about LITERALLY all men; we just shouldn't be expected to water down our anger to make men comfortable. Tacking "but what about trans men?" onto that doesn't negate the entire rest of the conversation.)

I disagree that the post is "all thinly veiled references" because it looks like most people reblogging it are like me- folks who aren't familiar with that term but feel that there's a still a misogyny issue in progressive and queer spaces. However, because of the association with a specific movement I am not part of and largely disagree with an apparent key point of, I will be deleting it.

Do not mistake this for me recanting my personal sentiments on the matter. There is a misogyny problem in my community, because the misogyny problem in broader society remains. Trans men and NB people are not exempt from being misogynistic. This needs to be talked about, and it is deeply frustrating to me as a queer woman.

Do I even have to say "this is not for t*rfs?" Well, just in case, it is Not. Fuck off.

[awesomeferret10]

I would like to talk about Ianthony as of post April 1st 2024. (With obvious parallels to both The Event and Dan and Phil)

1. I see a lot of people like obsessively combing over every glance and reading into every word which isn’t anything new but I feel has really kicked up a notch lately. My general response to this is the ianthony “relationship” label shouldn’t matter. They obviously love each other platonically or anything else and I think it’s important sometimes to take a step back from your theorizing and hyperventilating to just enjoy them as people and their friendship and how much they care

2. Keep in mind this isn’t like Dan and Phil. They aren’t young people who haven’t been given the opportunity to discover/express themselves. They both still confidently state they’re straight up to a couple of months ago. When they’ve actively been asked for over 10 years what their sexuality is constantly I feel as though maybe they would have done some internal exploration of their sexualities by now. Obviously sexualities aren’t static and labels don’t matter. Gender and sex is nothing compared to the connection of people and often sexuality labels can be completely overridden or thrown into question by one person. On top of the fact that Anthony has essentially stated this himself of “you never know 🤷‍♂���” but like. They still both are confident in the label of straight. So chill out a little.

3. The crew shipping them isn’t some like inside joke within the smoffice. It’s an inside joke within the community THAT WE ARE ALL INSIDE OF. It’s a joke built by years of Ian and Anthony playing into fans questions for views and the fact that many of their employees were previously Smosh fans. So although it’s funny that all the editors and cast and crew are playing into it more than Ian and Anthony themselves in the videos remember it’s not proof of anything. They’re just being silly goofy.

4. I get it. Because before The Event I was very dismissive of every shourtney shipper. I enjoyed their genuine connection as best friends and people who clearly loved each other. But every time I saw something pointing out “oh Courtney said this” “oh look how Shayne looked at them here” I had the “this isn’t 2010 guys when will you give it up they’re just besties” reaction. I never thought people were insane for noticing that possible connection but I also just thought people were driving themselves mad reading into stuff. Obviously a lot of the things people pointed out are still probably nothing because again people were analyzing literally every microsecond.

5. Like no seriously I get it. On inspection Ian and Anthony make fuck me eyes at each other. Like constantly. They look at each other like there’s no one else in the world sometimes. The behind the scenes for my dead friend where they just spend 2 minutes with Ian trying to stick something in Anthony’s pocket while both of them are giggling is literally middle school flirting. Anthony tearing up at the story of best friends turned lovers. Little bit dramatic king. Like we all know why Shayne and Courtney love that story. But Anthony dude. After going through April 1st 2024 I totally understand not wanting to discard any of the shit these two idiots say. And it’s also really funny since they’ve proven they don’t care. Just want everyone to remember to be careful to just enjoy them soley as a duo without the conspiracy of a relationship on occasion.

[mamirhodessxox]

Last Friday Night

Dashing!Cody Rhodes x Playboy Model Fem!Reader

Desc: It’s the 2010’s also known as the trashy dirty messy parties decade besides the 2000’s, Cody’s career was just going off along with his best-friends playboy model career, after a successful WWE Match Cody throws a large party at his house for celebration & It gets messy real fast

Contents: Alcohol, Foul Language, Smut, Fluff, Trashy parties, Douche bag cody in the house, DASHING CODY FUCKING RHODES CHAT, Gets STRAIGHT to the smut so enjoy

{~I'm very serious with you guys interacting with my writing!!!! it would make me so happy & excited, the more comments & reposts the more inspiration i have to write :) Votes and comments are strongly appreciated so please COMMENT COMMENT COMMENT COMMEENNTTT the more comments the more content <3!!!~}

Cody was beyond full of himself, especially when he had this entire Dashing Cody Rhodes gig going on for him, The dashing part definitely got to him, Every goddamn person & their mother knew he was fine as fuck and so did he, his confidence being boosted as-well as his ego was apart of his character & success. He just won a goddamn championship & as his way of celebrating this Friday night? Turning the fuck up.

You & Cody had been best-friends since his early wrestling days within WWE which was the time you became a playboy model, you two were practically made for each other, the both of you being near each other had people questioning their sexuality, You were hot as fuck, he was hot as fuck, and you both knew it, who wouldn’t embrace themselves if they were as hot as you two?

Cody’s house was filled with flashing lights, drunk guests & loud obnoxious music & You knew you were at the right place when your driver started pulling into a neighborhood that sounded like a fucking rave.

You stepped out of the car & immediately Cody stepped out of his house & made his way towards you “The most important guest of the night finally arrives” he wraps his arm around your waist and walked you in while you laughed into his shoulder “Shut-up Cody you’re just saying that!” You & Cody had a strange dynamic that people automatically thought you dated, You two would hold hands everywhere, cling to each other, hell paparazzi found you two getting lunch one time with his hand comfortably against your ass. You two were once labeled as the decades IT couple no matter how many times one of you addressed you were “just friends” which was complete and utter bullshit.

Cody lead you to the kitchen and gave you a cup filled to the brim with alcohol just for you “Here you go doll-face, slow sips ‘kay?” You giggled nodding before kissing his cheek, you took a large sip of your beverage with him and hummed hooking your arms around his shoulder “y’did so good tonight in the ring Cody, I’m so proud of you” he smirked “Yeah? I won just for you gorgeous.” You smiled as you felt his breath fan over your lips, The party was such an obnoxious scene, Everyone was either drunk or bumping into you two about to get drunk or make dumb life choices, for example, You two went into the backyard where someone practically thundercunted themselves off of his roof and into the pool

And somehow SURVIVED? Cody laughed and took a swig out of his beer bottle before turning to you yelling over the music “Now, correct me if I’m wrong but I think we should go off somewhere more quiet, a little more intimate?” You smirked at the Idea & nodded while he set down his drink & lead you off inside his house & to his room.

All of this brought you to the current situation you were in now, getting sat on-top of the dresser in his room while he dug into your neck leaving hickey after hickey and tugged on your hair a bit as he stood in-between your legs, he pulled away and grabbed you by the jaw & slammed his lips against yours & even slipping his tongue last your lips while unbuckling his pants & pulling, “Anyone ever fucking tell you this is better than the goddamn playboy magazines I see you on everyday?” He teased while pulling away to rip off your shirt & bra, you couldn’t blame him rushing the situation since you were practically wet & aching for him

You sighed out as he pinched your nipples & bit at your neck while letting out a cocky laugh “Of course that fuckin’ turns you on, almost everything I do turns you on huh?” You let out a whine in response before nodding your head, You already looks disheveled, hair all sloppy, eyes glazed over, mouth parted, your hands clutched over his shoulders as you dug claw marks into his back while he would fondle your breasts & grin at you “Such a good damn girl for me aren’t you sweetheart?” He slid off his pants & took your panties off before aligning his cock with your entrance and holding onto your face while thrusting himself inside of you & letting out a guttural groan.

“So fucking tight f’me princess” He whimpered into your ear while you shoved your nose into the crook of his neck moaning, He slammed his hand against the wall behind you as he fucked further into you & filled you up to the hilt with his dick alone, You threw your head back letting out a loud moan before looking at him in the eyes “g-gonna fucking cum Cody!” You whimper out while he slapped your clit “It’s just that fucking easy for you isn’t it? All it takes is my cock to be inside of your pretty little pussy for more then 4 minutes & you already wanna cum and make a mess?” He mocked you while he started to pick up the pace.

You squealed and scratched his shoulders throwing your head back moaning “h-Holy shit cody!!” You felt like he was forcing you to your climax given the fact you felt that little feeling in your tummy, your body writhed against him while he continued fucking himself into you & rubbing your clit at a ridiculous place before sticking his tongue in your mouth & kissing you before groaning against your lips & spilling his cum inside of you while you had just hit your climax.

He held you close before picking you up & lying him down on his bed while he went to go grab a wet warm wash cloth but you teased him while wrapping around his blankets “Such a gentleman mr Rhodes” he looked over shrugging and chuckled “Only for the best.” He came back over to you & kissed the top off your head before cleaning you up “I think it’s safe to say you’re mine now sweetheart.” You laughed and tilted your head “Oh yeah? What makes you think that?” He looked at you scoffing “I just fucked you on my dresser shouldn’t that be enough for you?”

You laughed with him as he climbed in the bed with you ignoring the loud music & music surrounding the house & wrapped you around his arms while you fell asleep.

By the time you woke up the next morning you were more than hungover, in-fact, you were positive you were hot by a sledge hammer, You sat up groaning pushing your hair out of your face & huffing while Cody walked in with breakfast “Wakey wakey eggs and bakey” he plopped a plate on your lap while you rubbed your eyes glaring at him “I feel like I got ran over by a semi-truck.” He hummed “Well aren’t you just a little ray of sunshine!” You held up your middle finger & took a sip of the coffee he handed you “fuck you” he shrugged and set your plate of food on the night stand “Geez again? Wow you must REALLY be feeling me huh?”

You groaned out in annoyance and got up out of bed putting your clothes from last night “You’re not very funny codes.” He grinned and handed you a hairbrush “I’m fucking hilarious what are you on about.” You walked off to the bathroom but felt a quick smack on your ass and looked back to Cody walking off with a laugh.

Thank fucking god you did this on a Friday night because you were a hot mess.

🏷️ list: @ginswife @coolpastelartshoe @greatkoalawizard @cokolin044 @kotoriarlert @alicerosejensen @bunnybot55 @agent-dessis-posts @adollonyourshelf @valkyrurr @alyyaanna @niknakbucks92 @mini-rhodes @southerngirl41

xtripleiiix’s Masterlist

[rosyjn]

funny blowy in the car (sam worthington MDNI)

"oh shut up!" you giggle and playfully punch sam's shoulder. he cackles, throwing his head back. "hey! eyes on the road!" you scold, playfully squinting your eyes. australian 2010s pop plays softly on the radio, your dress blows in the wind from the cracked window, your feet rest in sam's lap while he drives through the middle of nowhere. your whole body is oriented towards him, your back facing the passenger's seat door.

"no but really! you were like 'augh! augh! please sam! thats it-' it's so cute!" he laughs again, this time looking down in his lap, shaking his head.

"well, you were all over me!" you try to defend yourself, cheeks getting red as you grow more flustered.

"of course i was, you were walking around in a tank top, no bra, pajama shorts-" he turns his head to you and counts every detail on his fingers. "you were fresh out the shower, hair was wet-" he rubs the top of his head, gesturing wet hair. "and your nipples were pokin' through your top!" his eyebrows are raised.

"i would think, in my own apartment-" you begin.

"OUR, OUR apartment," he turns to you again, pointing a finger at himself. you sigh in annoyance.

"OUR apartment, i would think in OUR apartment, where i live, i'd be able to look how i want without getting bent over the counter and fucked," you kick him playfully in his belly, causing him to tickle your feet. you quickly pull away, positioning yourself criss cross applesauce to protect yourself.

"not how it works, honey. not how it-" he shakes his head, tilting it back.

"agh!" you interrupt. "ever since i got married to you, ever since we moved in together, you're always so horny!" you laugh, watching sam's face to see his reaction. to your surprise, his smile fades a little.

"what do you mean, hon?" his eyes focus on the country road, not giving you the sly glances that were just painted on his face. your brows furrow.

"i mean, where in our home, have we not fucked? every table, i've been bent over. all the couches, laid down on. all the chairs, i've knelt in front of them. don't even get me started on the kitchen counter. whole place is full of sex," you remark.

"yeah, guess so," sam shrugs. "but one little mistake, you're associating all our fun, with the apartment. i'll fuck ya anywhere," there's no humor in his voice, he's being completely serious. you stare at him for a second, and then burst out laughing. like LAUGHING. your face grows so red and your abdomen begins to hurt.

"you're so funny," you lean back against the passenger's seat door, coming down from your high and clutching your stomach. he puts a second hand on the steering wheel, then pulls over, stopping the car completely. "what's wrong?" all the jokes fly out of your brain. instead, it grows full of worry.

"suck me off," he leans back in the driver's seat, fiddling with his belt before pulling off his pants, leaving you to see the print of his erection through his calvin kleins. you sigh, rejiggering your position to have your head over his dick. small giggles come out of his mouth as you move his underwear to pull out his boner.

“there you are!” you look up at him with his cock still in your hand. “i thought you were mad at me for saying you’re too horny!” you tell him. he squeezes his eyes shut, still giggling. when you open your mouth to lick his tip, he interrupts you.

“just laughing because you said ‘there you are!’ when you pulled my dick out!” he strokes your hair as you roll your eyes. “not mad at you, why would I be mad at you?”

“don’t know,” you reply before licking his tip, your tongue teasing the sensitive part. he exhales and closes his eyes again. you kiss it a little bit, getting saliva onto his length. your lips part and you push your head down onto his cock, the girth forcing your mouth open wide. your tongue presses against the back of his dick, and sam’s grip onto your hair grows tighter the further you go. when your nose is pressing up against his thigh, you pull away to breathe. a string of spit hangs off of your lip and reaches to his balls.

“good girl,” his accent is as thick as ever. you wipe your mouth and take a deep breath before taking him into your mouth again. you let out small noises every time his tip hits the back of your throat. he joins you, groaning at the sensation. soon, you start to get consistent, bobbing up and down with tight lips around his cock. a bitter, slightly salty liquid sprays into your throat. you swallow it all. it comes out inconsistently, surprising you every time with that warm feeling and egg white consistency.

“feel good?” you look up at him, a mix of his pre cum and your saliva coating your lips. he nods, unable to form a word. you smile at his status, then go back in to finish the job. he grunts and his breath speeds up. this might be the best blowjob you’ve ever given him. there’s something about this one that’s different from all the other times. maybe it’s because sam is letting you do the work instead of just mindlessly fucking your throat, slamming his dick into the back over and over again. of course, you’re both okay with that too.

“mm, nmph! god, gonna cum!” he whimpers, melting like putty over you. you make a noise in response, letting him know that you got the message. you speed up your movements, his dick throbbing and twitching with every new thing that you add. whether it’s swirling your tongue, holding still with his tip pressed into the back of your throat, or purposefully moaning with his cock in your mouth, so he can feel the vibration. he grips your head tightly.

a louder whimper comes out of his mouth as cum paints your tongue white. his seed comes out in little blasts, and you lick up every single one. he squirms as his orgasm washes over him, and you watch, proud of your work. you lick your lips clean before sitting upright, sticking your tongue out to show sam his cum.

“like it?” you gladly show the milky white liquid that coats your mouth. he looks over and smiles, still working to catch his breath, then nods and sticks his thumb up, indicating that it’s okay for you to swallow completely now.

“man, really made a mess outta me!” his eyebrows raise again, and he shakes his head in disbelief while looking down at his messy dick. you smile. “anyways, ready for your turn?” he asks.

[themultifandomgal]

From 2010- Modest Management Suck

2012

Part 20

“We’re about to go out and do some signing” Harry says to the camera

“We’re at Natick Mall in Boston. It’s gonna be really fun, we’ve heard there’s loads and loads of people and we’re very very excited” Niall says as I laugh at Louis pretending to walk down stairs behind us

“Let’s go!” Liam and Harry shout at the same time. We stand behind a door waiting for it to open

“Anyone else feeling nervous?” I ask feeling a slight tingling in my toes and fingers. I can also feel my heart racing

“It’s excitement, you’ll be fine” I hear Richard say. Nodding my head I watch the doors open and I put a smile on my face. I walk behind Harry and in front of Niall just trying to focus on my breathing as we walk through the Mall where so many people are screaming. We all sit down shocked that this many people have come out to see us. The security then let the fans in small groups come over to us. We sigh the books that we had released late last year.

Throughout the whole time I try to keep smiling and my heart racing at bay, but I can always count on my boys for noticing when somethings off. So when we have a little break for something to eat I sit down on the sofa breathing in deeply

“What’s up?” Louis asks frowning as he sits next to me

“I don’t know, my chest hurts” I almost sob “I- I can’t stop shaking, but I’m not cold I’m really warm”

“Paul I don’t think YN should go back out there” Liam says

“No, but Simon…”

“Fuck Simon and what he says” Niall says sitting on my other side

“She’s going out there even if I have to drag her out there” Richard crosses his arms

“Look at her, she can barley breathe” Paul defends

“I think this is makin’ her worse” Harry kneels down and takes a shaking hand in his and gives it a squeeze of reassurance

“She’s going out there and that’s final” with that Richard leaves the room

“Hey jus’ look at me and breath with me” I try to match Harry’s breathing to calm myself down.

Another day another performance. This time is for the Today Show. We arrive on a bus which stops at the Rockefeller Plaza. We all jump off and run to the stage as music is already playing

“New York City make some noise!” Harry yells into his microphone. Immediately WMYB starts playing

“You're insecure, don't know what for. You're turnin' heads when you walk through the door. Don't need makeup to cover up. Bein' the way that you are is enough” Liam starts singing. Harry then turns to look at me and gives me a little encouraging smile since I’ve been feeling so worried and stressed recently

“Everyone else in the room can see it. Everyone else but you”

We all sing the chorus, then it’s Zayn’s turn then mine

“I don't know why you're being shy and turn away when I look into your eyes”…

“One Directions first album has hit number 1 in 6 countries and they could make it 7 this week when Up All Night is released here in the United States. One Direction is Zayn Malik, Niall Horan, Harry Styles, Liam Payne, Louis Tomlinson and YN YLN. Good morning guys”

“Morning” we all say in unison

“What do you like best about American girls?” the interviewer asks and I roll my eyes at the question. I then spot Richard off to the side shaking his head at me

“They’re very very loud” Liam says which causes everyone to scream

“YN what’s it like for you? Your living every girls dream right now being close to these boys all of the time”

“Your right I am living my dream, but it’s being on stage and singing. I’m just lucky I get to do that with these guys I can call family” I reply

“What’s the best and worst part of this sudden fame?”

“I think for me and I know these guys will probably agree, but I’ve made 5 best friends” Zayn says “the only down side would be that we don’t get to see our friends and family as much” or that our every move is controlled, is what I would love to have added on. We continue on the interview and sing a few more songs.

I stand next to Louis and Harry while our choreographer puts us in our places for rehearsals for the Kids Choice Awards

“I want YN and Zayn to switch” Richard says hands on his hips “we can’t afford more cheating rumours so during this song you have to stay away from each other”

“And what happens when the press say YN and Liam are dating or YN and Niall?” Zayn asks

“We will deal with that if it happens. Harry I’m looking into getting you and Taylor Swift together. Boots both of your careers”

“Are you serious?” Zayn raises his eyebrow “this is ridiculous” he huffs

“Simons wishes, keep rehearsing” Richard then leaves us to carry on rehearsals. I take in a deep breath just as I feel an arm around my shoulder. I look up to see Zayn

“I know, me to” neither Zayn or I have ever liked Richard, but we’ve always tried to keep the peace but it’s getting harder and harder.

[maxmagic]

LONG post featuring my opinions on this design and her concept and also Vivs character design decisions in general

This design singlehandedly made my account rise from the fucking dead because of how much opinions I have on it

TO NOTE : I LIKE Helluva Boss as a show. Is it perfect? No. Do I think it has issues from both writing and design aspects? Yes. Do I like it regardless? Also yes. You can like a show and still have criticisms of it. Also Viv has answered some criticisms about Beelzebubs design and I will talk about them too

Final warning cuz this is LONG and rambled at points

By this point we are all aware that once a new character gets revealed in Helluva or Hazbin , there's always opinions on it.

But Beelzebub truly takes the cake on how divided people are on her design. People either adore it or hate it with a blinding passion (and some just don't like it cuz they have a Viv hate boner).

I have to say I actually really like it as a stand alone design. Remove her from the story and context it's genuinely an appealing design with fun and bright colors. I personally don't mind the early 2010's sparkle dog look. It has a nostalgic charm to it and if you followed Viv for long enough you know she really likes that aesthetic. She has good colors and color placement and my main real dislike is the weird hair.

And she's animated BEAUTIFULLY !!! Real props to the animators for being able to make this design look nice in motion because god lord is it complicated. This will be a criticism later, but again, its really amazing on how they made this design look good even though we all know this must have been a real bitch to animate.

The real issue that come to me with her design is when you put her in the show and have to think about who she is, what she is, what her lore is ect.

Firstly: Her not being 'lore accurate' kinda falls flat given that none of the designs thus far have been accurate to what they're based on. Like Asmodeus has elements that tie him to his demon name counterpart (with the rooster tail and 3 faces) but they're more allusions then design inspirations. Lucifer is literally just a top hat twink and Mammon (even tho we haven't seen his full design yet) is clown/jester themed. Viv has made it clear that this version of hell isn't supported to be an accurate depiction of biblical hell. So she can really do whatever she wants with her interpretation. Her not being an insect, although disappointing since we don't really have that in the show, is only just a matter of personal taste.

HOWEVER there's still a lot of discrepancies with her design.

So she's supposed to be a Bee-Fox hybrid... Where's the bee??? Like take away the hexagon background, where is the bee part of her design? She has antenna and wings but... They don't really do much. The antenna are fine and its smart they placed at the tip of her ears, but the wings are straight up not bee wings!!! They look more like pixie wings and they're so small half the time I forgot they were there. Couldn't you have added.. idk some stripes?? she has stripes on her ears but they don't look like bee stripers more so general Viv design details. It's weird given she uses stripes so heavily in other designs yet the BEE character doesnt. Maybe add some fuzz like how bumblebees have?? Maybe trade that stupid lava lamp tail/hair if its too complex. I really don't like how she has normal hair and also a weird liquid part and liquid tail. It adds too much visual noise and just doesn't gel well wit the rest of her design. Her lava lamp stomach too just feels like needless addition of animation work for something that just doesn't add anything. Her colors ( despite being nice) kinda clash against all the other hellhounds who have a muted black/grey/red color pallate. It makes her look like an 13 year olds OC thats been edited in

Literally the only things that changed are her colors, size and eyes. In my opinion this should have been her base design because the colors and bug eyes lean into more of the bee aspect. Plus with these colors she fits more with other hellhounds.

Like right now the normal design feels 97% fox with just the most subtle bee elements slapped on. If it wasn't for the background, look me in the eye and tell me this design is a fox bee hybrid.

She also doesn't feel like a prince? She's dressed very casually and doesn't have nearly have enough of an imposing vibe. I didn't know she was a prince until it was said in show. I thought she was just some high rank demon performer. Its kinda disappointing given how grand, larger then life look and energy Asmodeus had. They were introduced in the same way via big song number, but Asmodeus felt like a Prince of Lust, Beelzebub felt more like a performer of Gluttony rather then a ruler.

Also why if she a hellhound in the first place? i saw somewhere on twitter that its cuz her people are hellhounds but that doesnt make sense. Lucifer isn't a human and Asmodeus isn't a succubus, so why does Bee have to be a hellhound? We know that hellhounds are the lowest ranked amongst hell natives, so how do people outside of gluttony feel about her? She is treated like royalty but is also a hellhound, the lowest demon. It causes a needless paradox that makes you question the worldbuilding of the show.

Also why are hellhounds the lowest rank in hell ? and why are they associated with gluttony of all things? I am going to be honest when I say I completely forgot they were native to gluttony because gluttony has a beehive aesthetic and like wtf do dogs have anything to do with it . Like other demons shown have themes that tie them into their respective prince or sin, but we aren't shown why hellhounds in particular are gluttony. Like it feels like a minor thing but when you present information about worldbuilding and show stuff that contradicts it, people will question it.

And why is she dating a hellhound? Or more so why is she so open about it. Like its been shown in the show that Stolas and Admodeus dating imps is a taboo thing so her being so open about her relationship with someone whose even lower then an imp. Again its going back on lore and worldbuilding being contradicted. If you're going to make rules for a show, stick to them.

I'm putting these two side by side cuz I have the same complaint about them.

How are we suppose to know this?? First the gluttony ring severally lacks any circus motifs (it has more of a bee theme then a circus one), but Bee ESPECIALLY doesn't have ANY hints at being circus themed, let alone animal trainer.

I knew that all the princes had a circus theme but from I (and from what ive seen in other comments) though she was an acrobat or like dancer of the sort. Literary nothing in her design says she is an animal trainer. And also the hippie 60s spirit is also not anywhere in the design. Just because a design choice is clear to you doesn't mean its clear to everyone else. A good design makes its points across loud and clear so everyone can understand it. This really feels like she's making it all up as people ask. She probably isn't but it really comes across that way. You cant just say something about a design that just isn't in the design or its not shown properly. This is an issue a lot of Helluva and Hazbin Hotels characters have (look up any of their trivia and you'll see how bad some designs are communicated), but with Bee its emphasized tenfold because she's suppose to represent all these different things (fox, bee, prince, party girl, animal trainer, DA sparkle dog, 60s hippie free spirit) at it just isn't conveyed or is put in such a way where you cant clearly tell what it is. It honestly feels like Viv had in mind to have a Kesha pop party girl character and just made her a prince. Shes trying to justify all these things and saying them like they're obvious when they're clearly not!

This design suffers from having too many ideas slapped on it that just don't work and actively work against each other.It makes me less excited for the future prince designs

If youve come this far good for you for sticking around to this way too long of a ramble about a probably one off character in a popular indie cartoon :D