#like zero respect for her at all even though shes supposed to be an important figure in the game urghh -_-

[gorgynei]

oh my god if one more dark souls youtuber gets all gross about gwynevere im gonna KILL SOMEONE. i get it its a big woman with a chest. not every single person needs to make an over the top gross sexual innuendo every single time shes on screen. im soooo irritated

[zukotheartist]

Pjo show + books spoilers

Clarisse is such a tragic female character.

It breaks my heart...

All she wants is love and respects from a father that will never give it to her because she was born female and that leads her to lash out and attack kids weaker than her to show her strength making others hate her and thus also making her an easy suspect for who could've stolen the lightning bolt.

When Percy gets back she's fuming due to jealousy and he takes it as anger because he's foiled her plans and hurt her dad meanwhile it really is just jealousy at him gaining that glory (kleos) they all fight for while being both male, younger and newer than her at camp.

She'll eventually learn to trust others, be kinder and care for others but the two people closest to her will turn out to be traitors though (unlike in her own case) no one was expecting it because you're supposed to suspect "evil, angry" people like her and Nico*, not someone like Silena, a daughter of Aphrodite.

(* really important to note how both him and Clarisse are accused by Percy and other demigods at different points because of their powers and dads being seen as scarier and inherently more evil.)

She'll have bettered herself but she's still a kid with flaws and her pride (her fatal flaw, like it was for Achilles as well) leads her to refuse to fight for the big war against Kronos and that will lead to her friend (girlfriend) pulling a Patroclus;

Silena dressing up as Clarisse and bringing the Ares cabin to the fight, changing the tides of the battle, but dying on the battlefield and by the time Clarisse joins it's too late to save her.

So she goes on a rampage, with zero armour, because of the death of her loved one and THAT's when her dad FINALLY acknowledges her and gives her "Ares' blessing", making her even deadlier than she already was.

And finally she'll kill the monster that killed her friend, Percy being in shock of her strength and thinking to himself that he wishes he could've helped but Clarisse was like a death machine on the battlefield and didn't need his help, and then

EXACTLY like Achilles, she'll attach its body to her chariot and drive it around...

Clarisse La Rue you will always be famous (and Dior Goodjohn I'll always be thankful for you rallying for a masc lesbian Clarisse and for the amazing portrayal of young female rage).

[countlessofvoids]

Talking about/analyzing the warlords is pretty much meaningless since they're kind of a nothing characters but I'll do it anyways:

Firstly, I feel like three of them is too much. With Grimmel, that makes four antagonists in one movie. Of course it's not impossible to write all four well - but with other things the film focuses on such as The Hidden World and the fury romance - even with enough screentime, one of them is bound to be underdeveloped.

I've seen people say there's no reason for them to exist at all. I disagree, I think removing them is arguably worse. They are Drago's allies, him being defeated puts a dent in their plans and makes Hiccup a threat in need of elimination. They have a reason to be there. Defeating Drago should have consequences; building all this up then having no sign of it in the next installment - while the villain is a hunter with zero connection to anything - doesn't make sense for the worldbuilding and would be a backwards progression.

Another thing is the personalities given to these characters. I do like how even though with their limited screentime and depth, we can see they all have their own, unique personality rather than everyone being the same angry brutes. But do said characteristics make sense for their role?

Chaghatai Khan is who I consider the best fit for his job. He's smartest of the three, calm and collected. Unlike Griselda, he doesn't let his frustrations with Grimmel get to him. He seems to know when someone's useful and when they need elimination. All the attributes you need for a succesfull leader are present.

Griselda is what you'd expect from this character archetype. Quick to anger, doesn't respect failure, harsh and a ruthless fighter. I don't think Griselda's dumb, but with how easily irritated she gets, she'd probably start few extra conflicts on her own if it wasn't for Chaghatai stopping her. I kinda wish there was more of her interactions with Grimmel, the tiny bit of their dynamic that we did get sparked some interest in me.

Ragnar makes the absolute least sense to me. He's shown to be cheerful, a bit of a coward and even childish. Not the personality I'd write for this character trope. You're telling me he raided villages, possibly enslaved both people and dragons, build an army and went on a succesfull conquest so barbaric it earned him rank of a warlord? An explanation for this could be him being in a nepo baby situation. But we can't really speculate on that, since there are no canon implications for it.

Now I don't wanna sound like a snob who thinks they know better than THW's writers, because I definetly don't. So feel free to ignore this part. Personaly to avoid having characters who are/should be important to the plot then end up with no development or arc whatsoever, I'd either:

A) Get rid of one or two warlords, making the cast less bloated - which means there are less characters to focus on, allowing more exploration for the remaining antagonists.

B) Have one of them takes on a role akin to Drago. Whoever that would be stays a warlord and becomes the driving force of conflict, meanwhile the other two are reduced to generals. Grimmel has a role similiar to Eret, as in he's under the warlord's command. This way it's clearer that he works for them and is not a warlord himself. You know, instead of like in the movie where he just walks in and bosses everyone around like he's been their leader all along. Seriously, why were the supposed brutal conquerers letting him treat them like insignificant soldiers while they're just standing around pouting?

C) Remove the trio entirely and leave only Grimmel. Either he's a warlord who disguised himself as a hunter, or he used to be a hunter who then became a warlord. Why am I insisting on not keeping him just as a hunter? Like I mentioned above; to me, going from armies and wars to simpler dragon hunters feels backwards.

So in conclusion: The Warlords should've been given a lot more importance to the plot because they have connections to the previous film's antagonist and I believe both them being empty characters and not existing at all is a waste. Think of the possibilities that could've been done with them, like making them pararells to Hiccup's friends/family.

(Feel free to correct me if I got any information wrong!)

[deaneverafter]

Literally cannot with so-called "Jensen fans" who will spend all day, every day, obsessing over "the coven", a dozen people who while vile, ultimately have zero reach and can really do nothing to affect Jensen, while ignoring (or worse, defending and befriending) heller cult, who say the same exact toxic things, but more often than that, much worse things, about Jensen. But haha, it's okay because they said they love him, so it makes it okay, doesn't it? Call him ugly, this phobic, that phobic, but end it all with "but I love him, haha", "I say this hateful manifesto with the utmost love, because I want to FIX him", but it's all fine, them saying THE worst things about him. All thousands and thousands of them, and their multiple accounts, spamming every account and post, showing up for every project he does to cause drama, embarrass him. But a handful of bullies that only get any traction when someone else is obsessing over them, now that is the real threat 🙄 That, and apparently, if you hate Jared, it's fine, you can do whatever you want, say whatever gross, damaging things about Jensen, and it's all okay, because "they're on our side" (spoiler alert, they very much are not). And lastly, it's the whole "I haven't seen them say anything bad about Danneel, so they're good in my books". That seems to really set off some "fans". Because when tinhatters or antis say Danneel treats Jensen like garbage, they call that bad behaviour. But when the hellers say the same exact things, Danneel has him worshipping at her feet, Danneel thinks he's nothing, Danneel loves Misha more than she loves him, Danneel's main priority is deathstiel, Danneel wants to force Jensen to bang Misha, they act as if it's all good stuff, yass, Queen. Even though, if true, it would actually be incredibly toxic and downright abusive. But they praise it, and I suppose, that's good enough? As long as you hate Jared, love Danneel and use her to put Jensen down, you can say whatever you want about Jensen, attack him in any way, without any repercussions. Such "Jensen fans" will have your back! Do also notice that every drama, every "controversy" that has come Jensen's way these past couple of years, it came from heller fam and Misha, it wasn't the haters who admit they're haters (despite their best efforts to damage Jensen and his career, they just don't have it), it was the snakes in the grass. Even a huge portion of the things those antis accuse him of, criticize him for, those "social justice issues" come from hellers (for example, their tantrums about the con photographers, calling him a predator, thief, etc. That was hellers who started that, the haters, "the coven" just saw the opportunity and continued it). If you were actually a Jensen fan, that should be the most important thing to think about, protecting him, not about fighting Jared stans, not about backing up "supernatural fam" (wtf even is that, other than a bunch of opportunists leeching off Jensen?). Of course, at the end of the day, everyone's allowed to care about what they want. All I wish is for people to not be hypocrites and put their money where their mouth is. Like, absolutely call out the weirdo haters and tinhatters, etc. But if you actually care about Jensen, have the same energy with hellers and Misha stans being disgusting as well

The priority shouldn't be whether "spn fam" is being overhyped, their importance to the Supernatural story or the show's legacy being overstated. Especially when they've shown they really don't care about Jensen, they don't see him as a friend or even a coworker they respect, Misha and the rest only see him as a way to gain clout, habitually use him to get attention for themselves, to make themselves less irrelevant for just a bit. The priority shouldn't just be is Danneel being worshipped blindly or "respected" (because let's be real, the things hellers say don't exactly paint a pretty picture. Hellers only think they're singing praises, because anything they can use to mock or demean Jensen is a good thing in their books), while Jensen gets treated like a leper, a loser, no biggie. The priority should be, at the very least, is Jensen being treated like a person, being afforded basic human respect. The priority should be, what can I do so people who enjoy mocking him, insulting him, spreading gross rumours about him, don't feel welcome to stick around, so they're not hurting him and his career. It shouldn't be let's defend and befriend them

[sippinggossip]

info anon here, I'm back to answer about Marta xxx

I just want to clarify before I say anything that what I'm about to write is based on rumors that were going around at the time and my own judgement of the situation. There aren't many facts since Marta has never discussed the topic publicly and Måneskin have only given a vague explanation on the reasons behind the rift.

As someone who was a fan at the time, the first time I heard rumors about them not getting along was during Sanremo 2021. At the time, I didn't believe there was any truth to them because they've always seemed extremely close to her, their relationship seemed to transcend the manager/ artist dynamic and be more similar to family...to understand what I mean, the summer before sanremo for example Damiano had posted a story for her birthday in which he was calling her mom. Vic would also regularly post photos with her and would often say in interviews and vlogs that Marta was like their mom. She even had a group chat with their actual parents for the first year of the band. So to my 2021 self, it seemed inconceivable that that relationship could ever fall apart.

But, in hindsight, not only I've come to believe that those rumors were true but also that, looking back, the issues probably started earlier.

Vent'anni, which was the first single from Teatro d'ira, wasn't really successful on the Italian charts, not for Måneskin's standards at least (even for their pre Eurovision standards). It didn't make it into the top 10 despite being their big come back single after 2 years of not releasing any new music (besides a collab with Francesca Michielin where they were the feautured artist and it didn't make any noise, it's kinda obvious maneskin only went for it because they shared a manager with her). For reference, every Italian single from "Il ballo della vita" had made it into the top 5 of the same chart.

I think their label wasn't pleased by this development. Keep in mind that a lot of money had been invested in maneskin even back then. The label had paid for them to go live in London for about half a year to get inspiration for Teatro d'ira which is something that doesn't really happen often in Italy for artists, let alone artists that at the time were barely 20 years old and had had roughly 2 years of professional career (and that's including the Xfactor) and only one really successful album.

Marta wasn't really on board with them making a pure rock album (we know that for sure because they've talked about it too on interviews they did post-breakup) and, again, it's easy to criticize her for that when you don't know the musical reality in Italy. Rock doesn't sell here and maneskin weren't established enough yet for someone to feel confident that the risk they were taking was going to pay off. And after Vent'anni failed to reach the heights of the commercial success the rest of their singles had had, it indeed seemed the risk wasn't paying off.

So she discouraged them from participating in Sanremo with Zitti e Buoni (something maneskin have also confirmed in interviews). Again, obviously a misjudgement on her part in hindsight. But that's the key word: in hindsight. If you asked anyone before Sanremo started that year if maneskin had any chance to win with that kind of song, they'd all tell you no. No one was predicting they'd even reach the top 10. And they've said too that they participated with zero expectations since never before a song like Zitti e Buoni had won.

After they did win though and Marta was proved wrong on the matter, the glass was broken because it seemed that especially Damiano didn't respect her anymore, he thought that since his take on this one thing had been right and hers had been wrong, that meant he had the ultimate insight into well, everything.

And that was when he stopped listening to her about how he was supposed to handle his image in general.

It's important to know that Marta has a very specific policy about all her artists' personal lives: she doesn't believe in them being public. She doesn't want the gossip to overshadow their work. So, for years, Damiano had to keep his relationship with Giorgia a secret.

Of course, if you just paid a little attention you'd know she was his girlfriend, they were posting the same cats, they were going out normally. But there weren't any Instagram posts, paparazzi pics, he wouldn't talk about his personal life on interviews and when anyone asked about his relationship status he'd give vague answers. That was the case with the rest of the members too, he just seemed the most discontent with it after a while. Also, in his defense, the press in Italy didn't care much about the personal lives of the other 3 so he was the only one who had to deal with constant questions and rumors.

So, the week before Eurovision Damiano, out of the blue, posted an old photo of him and Giorgia on Instagram with the caption "after 4 years, we can finally say it no?" which a lot of fans interpreted as a dig towards Marta. That move was the exact opposite of everything Marta believed in because suddenly every article about maneskin days before the most important competition of their career, was about Damiano and Giorgia. And, well, 2 weeks later Marta was fired and Damiano is the only one who unfollowed her on Instagram.

So, in my opinion, it was a combination of things that led to her being fired. I think Feraguzzo offered må more creative freedom but also freedom regarding their personal lives and the choice to each handle it the way the saw fit without any interference. Marta was a bit bossy in many topics, for example there weren't any friends or girlfriends travelling around with them on tour, she wanted them to be focused without any distractions, so their friends would only attend the Rome shows and that was it. Probably as they grew up and weren't teenagers anymore they started to feel suffocated by her limitations.

Also before anyone comes for me, I'm not blaming her being fired exclusively on Damiano. It's just my impression that the others, while they did have some issues with her too, would've been willing to try and work them out while Damiano wasn't, he had reached his limit and wanted her gone. And the others stuck with him because ofc for the band and for them on a personal level, Damiano was more important than Marta.

Welcome back!

Interesting.

[gon-and-killuas-mother]

Yesterday I did something groundbreaking for the state of Arkansas and for queer and trans folks that live here!!!

I was hired for contract work at UAMS, our single medical university in the entire state, for patient simulation. At first I assumed it was gonna be the usual patient sims, like I'd act as someone with a specific injury or illness etc etc

But about a month after I was hired, a group zoom meeting was scheduled so the project manager could introduce everyone involved, including the others hired with me. And it was revealed that this patient simulation was different, actually it was completely new.

We were given the honor of being the first queer and/or trans people to participate in the first LGBTQIA+ focused patient simulation in Arkansan history

It's a known thing for queers to experience discrimination in hospitals; from being barred from visiting your partner, to being misgendered, and to receiving outright abuse from those who are supposed to help you. Lots of queers and trans folk have a chronic avoidance of doctors even today (especially today)

One of the project leaders, a gay recent med school graduate, had moved to New York, where he was helping build a queer-centered clinic. He'd talked about there were a few states taking these steps already, but UAMS had absolutely zero education regarding queer people.

So what part did I play?

My "role" was Taylor Nichols, a trans man looking for a primary care provider. I was to be seen by two students, who had to get my sexual history and learn how to approach a queer patient.

One student grasped it pretty easily and was charismatic enough to join me when I joked about whatever. She kinda led the charge in asking me questions about my sex life, despite any discomfort.

The other student looked so nervous/uncomfortable that she almost seemed ill. I'm giving her the benefit of doubt here mostly, but her expression gave me the sense that either she'd never encountered a trans person before (at least an OPENLY trans person) or she had something resembling a conservatives views of gender. I refuse to assume "bigot" but I tried making eye contact with her a couple times and she looked away each time with a frown.

After the simulation, we all adjourned to debrief with the other groups and the project leaders to discuss how it went and what to improve on. Here is where I felt something truly important happening. I sat up front with my coworkers (an older black gay man that I'll call Joe and a gender fluid high-schooler named Bee with their mom) and helped praise the students for their accomplishments

Joe also went on a longer speech to explain to the students about respecting your fellow humans and how even one disrespectful doctor can ruin someone's experience with medical care. I hadn't thought that we could talk about that kind of stuff, but these were all straight cisgender students and it was a teaching opportunity.

So I added on a few things. I told them to focus less on being inoffensive, though we appreciated that a lot, and focus more on the fact that queer/trans people are actually afraid of doctors. I told them there were no offensive questions they could ask me, unless they were intentionally being disrespectful.

I also said, "If you ask me questions about my gender/sexuality with the understanding that you do not understand and want to know more, it tells me two things.

"One: the moment you ask the question with a genuine interest in learning, you immediately become someone safe to talk to. Most queer people I know can tell the difference, just from tone and body language, between an asshole and someone who simply doesn't understand. And an asshole typically doesn't want to know what my pronouns are.

"Two: the questions you ask tell me how much you already know and how far I can meet you in the middle. It opens up a discussion that I am constantly afraid of starting with new people. You've likely already met many trans people in your life, but never knew because that discussion is considered taboo.

"So please, ask us questions. We come to clinics assuming the worst case scenario of a bigoted doctor, and I tend to pretend to be a girl just to get the visit over with. But every time a doctor asks my pronouns, I am so much more likely to come back."

It's still processing that I actually helped educate medical students, and I was the first nonbinary person to participate in a queer-centered patient simulation to get the ball rolling for further queer education in medical studies in our entire fucking state

Take that you fucking legislators! Queer people are LOVED in this state and you can't take that from us. And now, despite everything, even the medical students will have a much more diverse education and go on to be compassionate nurses and doctors to folks of any gender or sexuality.

[patchesproblem]

Hi.. I have come to talk about my Half-Life Einsla AU again. I went on a rant about it last night but I think that it's nonsensical enough but interesting enough to be shared here.

*Usual disclaimer for people finding this out of context: Tesla and Einstein are anime girls from HI3rd. I'm not writing fanfic / aus of real-life dead men please have mercy on me-

I've mentioned some of this before I think, but not the full scope of it.

For the most part, it follows during the same exact time as the HL 1 games, with Gordon Freeman still running around and doing his thing. The main difference is that they're in a different part of the facility than him and are actively trying to escape. They also don't have the luxury of being in HEV suits, nor do they have any knowledge of what was going on in the other areas of the facilities. Gordon plays a semi-important part in the background but it isn't until WAY later that they actually come face to face (that being before he jumps into Xen, but that's for later.)

They've worked in the facilities for a while, and they specialized in creating experimental technology essentially. Tesla occasionally helped with weapons however that wasn't her official role. They did not like their jobs in the slightest. They hated how things were run, and they felt like they were being suffocated in a way. It did not help that the pay was not worth the effort. The irony is that when the Resonance Cascade began they were actually about to leave for another base.

Now for some information that doesn't TECHNICALLY matter but it's hilarious to ME and I wanted to share.

Tesla DOES NOT like Gordon Freeman AT ALL. Einstein doesn't particularly like him, but Tesla has gone on full rants about how she doesn't even understand how he's working there. In her defense, though, she has reasons for it. She doesn't find him professional At All (which is ironic considering how she is), and doesn't understand how he's still hired. He's probably ruined her lunch before. Why? I don't know I just think it'd be funny lmao. Also they've heard the stories of him running through the vents. They don't understand what Kleiner see's in him.

She does have some respect for him, though. He is good at what he does and she'll begrudgingly admit it.

Einstein just finds him slightly annoying tbh.

They were relatively young when they started working at Blak Mesa. They met through Planck, and she helped them get their jobs. However Planck doesn't work there anymore. She's either at a different facility or retired, I'm not sure yet.

100% Would threaten the GMan and beat his ass just by pure audacity alone. They just want to go home they don't care that he's some god-like being. He will let them go home whether he likes it or not.

Now for the actually important stuff. When the Resonance Cascade first began they actually weren't supposed to be there. They had just finished packing their desks and were about to leave when it happened. Einstein was left relatively unscathed (minus some minor bruising/scratches (they would've been worse but Tesla threw herself over her to protect her)) and Tesla made it out with a few cuts/bruises and maybe fewer brain cells. However, some of the others in the room weren't so lucky.

They meet a security guard and help him gather everyone together, and the three go to the nearby guard room to try and call for help. They're unable to contact the surface, or anyone for that matter, and without warning a headcrab teleports into the room. The guard has zero clue what they are and it's at this point they realize something is seriously wrong. After talking to the other few survivors they ultimately decide that they'll be the ones to try to find help while the guard stayed behind to help the others.

Before they leave he gives them the key to one of the guard rooms where they find a map of the facility and guns/ammo. At that point, they start making their way through the facilities. However, their approach is different from Gordons'. Specifically, they avoid conflict as much as humanly possible, and they have to be extremely careful due to not having HEV suits. They do eventually have a run-in with the military however it's a one-time thing and their way of handling it is. Something to say the least.

Going through the facilities was easy at first. They were familiar with most hallways, and they really only encountered the occasional headcrab. I think it would be around this point that Einstein just picks on up and says 'We're adopting this thing' just to annoy Tesla. Yes, it ends up traveling with them on a leash. Yes, it wasn't happy about it. They bond though so it's fine.

They occasionally hear updates through the radios scattered around the base and through other scientists they find, however, it isn't until the military arrives that things get worse. They very quickly realize that the military is not on their side, and at that point on they have to start hiding and using their own skills to survive. Tesla makes hand-made grenades to deal with them in case they can't avoid them, which is effective for the most part.

Occasionally they hear things about Gordon and are amazed by the fact he's survived so long, and are amazed that he's managed to piss off the military so badly. They also learn through scientists that the Lambda team is trying to find a way to fix the disaster so they try to make their way there.

An accident occurs at some point where Einstein is in danger and nearly falls into a bunch of nuclear waste because the floor collapsed in, but Tesla managed to get her and pull her up. The headcrab somehow helps her by the sheer power of I think it'd be funny.

Once they make it up to the surface things get even more difficult. The places to hide are few and far between, and it was only by sheer luck that they managed to get far enough to get to the Lambda lab. This is where they get a glance of Gordon Freeman, but they don't even try to get to him. They figure he'll be fine and go on with their days trying to avoid the alien and military combat.

They end up making it there and they help the other scientists try to get it under control, and eventually Gordon arrives. They help get the portal open and just pray for the best.

I also had ideas for HL2, but I haven't fully finished watching a play through on it so I can't say anything for sure.

TLDR; All of this is stupid and is essentially me giving two insane scientists a gun and sending them on their merry way. They adopt a pet that could kill them and bicker like an old married couple, you know the usual.

[connan-l]

Long Rant incoming, but I finished playing Yoigoshi from the Higurashi console arc and god, it really reminded me of how much I hate how it handles Yae Towada's character.

I like Yoigoshi in general, I even think it's one of the best Higu side-arcs, but man the entire abuse narrative has such an insensitive and gross undertone and framing.

There’s always been criticisms about how Ryukishi handles abuse, especially in Umineko, and generally I'm more lenient than most on the topic because I think that Ryu still manages to portray it in a very nuanced complex way, but damn Yoigoshi is the only instance where I’m really like "hey fuck this." The story is just so insistent to tell you it was Bad that Yae killed her abuser that it ends up feeling like insidious victim-blaming.

I have no problem with humanizing abusers or portraying abusive relationships as complicated. I think it's even important, because that’s often how it is in real life. But there's a difference between giving depth to an abuser, and putting the abuser's feelings over those of the victim and then downplaying and shifting the blame of the abuse, and Yoigoshi 100% fall in the latter. I think what pisses me off the most is especially... the implication that Somehow her boyfriend was about to get better; that if she'd just waited long enough instead of taking matters into her hands then he would have stopped abusing her and their relationship would have turned out for the best. Even though there is zero evidence that he would have stopped hitting her, and that we know how these stories turn out in real life, with the girlfriend dead. But here we're supposed to believe that she's in the wrong for killing him, and so the story put the blame on her for not… loving and trusting the guy who put her in the hospital enough somehow??

And like, okay, obviously it's awful she ended up having to kill him, and usually I always respect and appreciate Ryu's insistence that violence only breeds further violence and is never a good answer to problems, but here the general vibe feel so much like a "well okay it sucks he was abusing her, but murder is still worse" and highlighting the fact she "made a 'mistake' instead of properly trusting him," which comes across as just so unsympathetic towards her situation and how she was still the primary victim in all this. Honestly fuck the boyfriend, he had it coming

The other thing that bothers is the other characters' reactions too. Like okay Journalist Dude is an asshole so him victim-blaming makes sense, but none of the others actually defend her? Everyone agrees she’s 100% in the wrong?? The most sympathetic is probably Otobe, but even then he’s pretty mild. I genuinely feel it's insulting that Mion, who has a personal experience with abuse victims via Satoko, doesn't try to defend Yae at all, even saying Journalist Dude has a point, like what.

The console arc actually makes it worse tbh because we're stuck in Journalist Dude’s head who is just The Worst + Miyuki having this horrible speech at Towada and victim-blaming her even more, wtf?? (which, okay,  she's a cop to be fair so that does feel in line with what cops do orz, but that still feel so wrong because Miyuki within the story is portrayed as a pragmatic, intelligent person, like she’s a voice of reason, and no one call her out on her bullshit speech either, so that just frames it as if she’s Objectively Right about this when. She’s just not!!)

And then Yae’s sidelined after the reveal, play no role in the final confrontation when even Journalist Dude get to play hero and just show back up at the end so that we know she'll "pay for her crimes" and go to prison.... urgh, I hate everything about it. The only way I’m staying sane with this ending is by headcanoning Shion afterwards being all "nah that’s bullshit" and busting Yae out of prison thanks to her Sonozaki connections so that she can live free without having to throw away years of her life because of her abuser.

To continue on this, suddenly it hit me how Yoigoshi actually feels pretty similar to Tatarigoroshi regarding their narratives about abuse; however the difference is that to me Tatari manages to works in what it’s trying to say, or at least that it manages to say it in a more sensitive and compassionate manner, whereas Yoigoshi fails badly at it.

The two arcs have that same premise of having a victim stuck in an apparently inescapable abusive relationship, and the solution the characters comes up with is to remedy to it via violence in killing the abusers. Doing so result in the situation becoming worse and making them lose what they wanted the most. The message put forth that in the end violence only ever creates more violence and problems, and that no matter how horrible the situation is there are always (peaceful) alternatives to be found.

Ryukishi always had a general emphasis in all of his stories that violence only breed more violence and for a push to find other alternatives solutions instead (with a few exceptions and muddy framing here and there), and this is something I usually like. Tatarigoshi/Minagaroshi are specific narratives that function really well when it comes to this, and manages to do so while being (mostly) respectful to the abusive circumstances and the victim it portrays. The reason why I believe that Tatari/Mina is able to work compared to Yoigoshi comes down to two central differences:

First, there’s the fact that in Tatari the one killing the abuser is not the victim of the abuse (Satoko), but an outsider (Keiichi). Tatari’s second part really highlight the fact Keiichi becomes increasingly self-righteous in thinking he’s the only one who truly cares about Satoko and that he can solves the problem by himself; he doesn’t consult his friends or any adults properly (not about the murder), and more importantly he certainly doesn’t consult the primary concerned, Satoko --- something the narrative reproach him, and in the end 'punish' him for in how he completely wreck his relationship with Satoko and ultimately even fail to protect her at all, when that was the goal in the first place.

In Yoigoshi, the killer, Yae, IS the abuse victim. Unlike Tatarigoroshi, she’s the one with the agency deciding to carry out the murder because she feels she has no other ways of escaping. Neither of these are ‘better’ than the other per se, but that’s an important distinction, because Tatari puts into perspective the thing Keiichi’s murder really does in the end is denying Satoko’s input and agency as the victim and dismissing her own feelings on the circumstances; something a lot of people tends to do in these situations, thinking they already have the whole thing figured out without actually listening properly to what the primary concerned feels and what they want to do.

The second point is the entirety of Minagoroshi. Tatari has the benefit of proposing an actual alternative on the murder, and by doing so emphasis it has to be done with 1. the help of a community; even with the system failing Satoko badly, the story says there’s still hope in relying and working with people he trusts. 2. It finally let Satoko have agency and highlight her feelings as the victim; SATOKO is the one who has to makes the final decision to leave her abuser, to tell the social services that she’s abused. No one can makes that for her, and this is what saves her. In the end, the others can offers her help, but SHE’S the one who has to save herself.

But Yae, on the other hand? Yoigoshi doesn’t have a ‘Minagoroshi’; the only alternative Yae is offered is that she should’ve... just trust that her abuser was going to be ‘better’ now, because he said so and found a job he hasn’t even started yet. That she should just believe he was going to stop hitting her; despite the fact even in the brief scenes we're shown with them together before his death he's still seen as having to actively force himself to not be violent with her. No community or support is offered to her; she vaguely mentions having friends from college but she never seems to be in contact with them, we're told nothing about her family, or about having any kind of support network who could help her, really; we’re told she thought about leaving, but the story never really explore that more that it. Yae’s only alternative to murder is just... to blindly hope that her boyfriend was truly going to 'change.' (I suppose you *can* make an argument the story say it was just the murder that was bad and that she could’ve left him afterwards, but it’s never hinted at anywhere, be it in them manga or the VN). And there's nothing offered of the sort a the end of the story once she committed the murder either, except for her going to prison.

Tatarigoroshi/Minagaroshi and Satoko’s original arc are very important to me and ones of my favorite aspects of Higurashi.

I’ve seen criticisms of it because of how passive Satoko seems to be in them, only being there to be ‘saved’ --- hell, even Ryukishi himself said last year GouSotsu had kind of been written because he wanted to give her more spotlight because she felt too much like a ‘damsel in distress.’ There are some ideas and premises about GouSotsu I do enjoy and respect, and Satoko never having a proper spotlight in the original Higurashi is a fair criticism, but calling her a ‘damsel in distress’ actually annoys me, because as I’ve said here, she was anything but; she’s an abuse victim whose story is entirely about how her agency should be prioritized and how in the end she’s the one who saved herself, and I’ll always cherish how much Higurashi consistently make a point  in saying and showing that she is genuinely a very strong and brave person.

And Tatarigoroshi/Minagoroshi is able to do all this all while acknowledging that yes, generally, murder and violence are wrong, but even in Tatarigoroshi the narrative never entirely blame Keiichi for coming to this solution --- and that's pretty clear in how it treats Satoshi too, whose situation was pretty much the same as Yae’s, and who is offered a lot more compassion and understanding on the matter, here too emphasizing that even if he did murder his aunt it was only because he was a child everyone around him failed and that he felt he had no other options.

Yae Towada’s story /should/ have been more like this, because in the end what she did was very similar to what Satoko did. She saved herself, the only difference being that there was no community to help her out like Satoko had, and so she had no other choice but to resort to violence.

The story does makes a point in saying she’s determined and, in some way, a strong person, but it seems to be mostly there as a weak attempt to parallel Rena, and the attention focus more on the fact that she made a ‘mistake’ that she has to pay for at the end. What Yae was led to do is definitely a sad thing, but one that was done out of desperation; and as it is, the framing only makes it seems like the narrative’s punishing her for this, when just like Satoshi it certainly should not be something she should be blamed for.

[flammedoudoune]

Finished volume 3 and I’m a bit disappointed to say I don’t think I loved this one as much as the first two. I’m still really enjoying this series, I’m still invested in the characters and the story, but there just were a few things in this volume I’m a bit on the fence about.

Felt like the whole first half of the book was a bit slow, I was honestly just waiting to see Ophélie and Thorn reunite. And I’m not sure how to feel about their first interactions once they do meet again. I like me some angsty romance, and I get why there’s a shift in their dynamic, and that in this book they’re both supposed to be undercover and to pretend they don’t know each other, and that he’s trying to protect her etc… But the way he treated her at first just felt unnecessarily cold, even for him. I know Thorn’s whole deal is that he’s a deeply unpleasant guy with zero social skills, but what makes him such a compelling love interest is that despite all that, he genuinely values and respects Ophélie and he always tries his best to do right by her. So the chapters following their reunion felt like a bit of a step down from all the development he went through in the first two books. And Ophélie spending most of the book feeling guilty for not doing enough to help him even though she’s been going through so much, ugh! Like girl, I know you love him but it’s not your fault your husband acts like a dick. Also the scene where he uses his claws on her… I know he didn’t do it on purpose and didn’t even realize he was doing it, and I get why Ophélie didn’t want to mention it later on, and I get it’s part of Thorn’s character development that he can’t control his powers as well as he used to anymore. But just, “man can’t deal with his emotions in a healthy way and ends up unintentionally hurting the one he loves” is a trope I deeply dislike.

However, these scenes put aside, Ophélie and Thorn did have some very cute moments towards the end of the book. The last scene where he showed her his scars and she kissed them? Litterally the most important thing in the world to me. I’m serious, nothing will ever top a character who’s been in pain and lonely their whole life, finally trusting someone else enough to be vulnerable around them and to accept their love. Nobody talk to me right now, I still need to process this scene.

Other than that, I liked seeing a different ark, even though I think I was more interested in what was happening at the pole in the first two volumes than with what’s going on in Babel in this one. I was excited at first when I saw this book was finally introducing some POC, but uhh… Let’s say I’ve heard enough people criticizing JKR for naming her one chinese character Cho Chang, so I’m gonna go ahead and assume that Christelle Dabos naming her east asian character Zen is not much better. I was also a bit on the fence when I saw that the first gay character of the series is litterally the unluckiest man alive, but turns out he’s in gay love with the grumpy political dissident so that’s fine actually.

There’s a lot going on with the plot now. It gets a bit confusing at times. I’m also not sure I like Ophélie being the one responsible of the fate of the world. I usually prefer when the main character is just some guy rather than them being the chosen one or stuff like that. I’m excited to start reading the last volume soon though, and see how it all comes together.

[thenightdayblogger]

past + care (crime or noncrime) for esme!

Ask game here

Past: Does your OC have any past partners? How did the relationship(s) end? Are any of their exes still in their life, and if so, do they get along?

Answered here, but ill use this as an excuse to talk a little about Ortega, who is definitely the 'ex' of most import. Their "fling" (her words) slash "four year long relationship" (his words) is definitely hanging over them both even if she won't admit it.

Her retri runs go from "it's complicated" to "ghost from the past/ortegaex" variables depending on how im feeling, and i really think ill only decide post b3 and whatever I like but; ortega has ranked since the beginning as one of the most important, if not the most important person in esme's life. Not in just a romantic sense, but if esme's devoted to people she loves she's just on another level w him. She's keeping her distance rn, but I think she's fooling nobody, not even herself, that she still cares about him so much, and despite the fact she just will not talk to him outside of what canon demands LMAO their relationship is very high. they're both not normal about each other <3

Care: How does your OC engage in self-care, if at all? If they don't, why not?

Trains rigorously, multiple hours a day of intense exercise not even including her extracurricular crime activities. Eats healthily, although she's not so intense about that. Outside of that—I don't know if Esme has any termed "self-care" things she does for herself, or at least ones that are not also. in some respects bad for her 😔. She sort of views it as superfluous—she's in functioning order she doesn't need to be trite about "taking care of herself" sort of deal. I suppose the closest thing to self care is that she likes taking walks—in parks, in the green, getting fresh air. I think that the amount of times she's sort of slipped back into vigilante mode/unobtrusively absolutely fucked over some quasi-villain is not zero, and she always does feel better after that—though again idk how actually healthy that is LMAO.

Thank you for the ask em! Hope the day's turning out well for you :)

[nooneelsecomesclose17]

So I’ve hit a writers block so have a little snippet in the hope it gets me writing again…

By the time they’re on the plane the next day Alex is starving. He’d skipped breakfast while he made sure they had everything and had wrangled both his son and David ready for the off. Henry had suggested leaving David behind with June and Nora, but Alex had reasoned that over the visit he was likely going to need the comfort of his faithful friend, so his things had been packed up alongside theirs. He collapses into the seat, looking gratefully at the sandwich placed in front of him. Henry is beside him, his own food untouched, while Arthur is napping guarded by David and finally he feels like he can breathe.

“Why don’t you try and sleep sweetheart?” He says when Henry pushes his hardly touched plate away. “Everything is in hand, there’s nothing you can do up here.”

“I don’t know if I can. I should call Bea again let her know we’re in the air, check in at the shelter. I feel bad about leaving them in the lurch.”

“You said yourself you don’t have a choice. The shelter is fine, you’ve got good people there and you spoke to Bea. Come on, sleep, just a bit.” It’s probably futile but he kisses his temple, wrapping his arm around him trying to encourage him to relax.

“We need to change…before we land.” Henry tries to get up but Alex holds onto him. “What about Arthur?”

“It’s sorted. Our suits are with our stuff and I packed Arthur the darkest clothes he owns. Anything else we can get in England. Just try and sleep, yeah? I’ll wake you in plenty of time to change and make your calls.”

“You don’t give up do you?”

“I’m Alex, have we met?”

When he’s sure Henry’s sleeping he gets up out of his seat and wanders further up the cabin so he can talk without waking his family. Dragging his phone from his pocket he calls the one person who can usually gives him advice.

“Alejandro, shouldn’t you be halfway over the Atlantic by now?”

“I am. Henry’s sleeping and…”

“You’re freaking out.” He should’ve known she’d get it, she always knew him too well.

“Chances of me getting through this next couple of weeks without burning England to the ground?”

“Oh that’s a big fat zero.”

“That’s what I thought. Any advice?”

“Don’t kill any of them.”

“Gee, Nora, that’s helpful.” He lowers his voice even though he’s at the other end of the cabin and he’s ninety five percent sure Henry’s sleeping. “I don’t know how this is going to go.”

“And you hate that. Look, Henry’s strong.” She was the one he’d talked to when his guilt at being the reason Henry had left his family had got too much and she knew more than the others did about the whole situation.

“Yeah he is, but how much is he supposed to take? They picked away at him until he had no choice anymore. If we’d never got together, I don’t…” He stops. She might know a lot but only he knew just how bad it was for Henry all but alone in the palace after his father died. That’s no one else’s business. “I just don’t want to lose him.”

“Oh Alex, you’re not going to, and those numbers are solid. Trust me. Have I ever set you wrong?”

“Well there was that one taco stand on the campaign in Milwaukee.” He teases, feeling a bit better.

“And here I am trying to help you.”

“Ok, ok.”

“All you can do is be there for him. I’m pretty sure that’s all he needs.” He nods even though she can’t see him and looks over at the two most important people in his life, getting back to his feet when he sees Arthur starting to wake.

“Yeah, thanks. I should go, Arthur’s up and I don’t want him to wake Henry.”

“Sure. I’ll see you soon. I’m representing my grandfather, not that I’m all that much about paying respects to her but that way I get to see the two of you and I can spoil my little peanut.”

“Between you and Pez I don’t know who’s worse. Thanks again Nora.”

When they hang up he settles in with Arthur on his lap, quietly watching a movie while Henry sleeps.

Surprisingly Henry sleeps for most of the flight and Alex spends his time researching royal funerals while Arthur plays once the movie fails to hold his attention. As promised he wakes Henry in time and he joins him back in their seats when he’s finished talking to his sister.

“Bea says she and mum are back at Kensington. Mum doesn’t want to stay at Buckingham.” Despite sleeping he still looks exhausted.

“Doesn’t she have to now she’s Queen?”

“Most do but she’s never liked the place. Too big and draughty she says. So they’ll be there when we arrive.” Alex nods, sliding his arm around Henry. “It’s going to be a mess, with the press…”

“No change there then. We’ll manage baby.”

“At least it’s Saturday.” He must look confused because Henry looks up with a smile. “British royalty darling, we don’t do ceremony on Sundays. Sundays are for church. So, it’ll be Monday before we face the hordes.”

[depressedhatakekakashi]

Do you have any headcanons on reasons why everyone turned on Sakumo so quickly (besides the 'choosing not to finish the mission' part)? I've seen some theories on how he wasn't originally from konoha and only married in so people kinda already thought of him as an outsider?

(altho maybe he was also slandered for killing sasori's parents? i don't really remember how important they were and if killing them would be disastrous enough for people to hate him even if it was maybe only for a mission and they were just casualties- maybe Suna used him as a scapegoat reason to declare war on konoha? even tho they were already planning to; they just made Sakumo the reason for it or sum- this is getting confusing XD i think suna and konoha were sort of allies in part 1 so it likely didn't get carried out but was still an extra reason for Sakumo to be hated on who knows)

Honestly, As someone who now ships him with an OC from the Land of Iron, i think that could have something to do with it. We know nothing about Kakashi's mother so perhaps she wasn't a Konoha shinobi, or even a Konoha citizen.

Maybe she was someone he met on a mission and fell in love with

maybe he was willing to choose her over his village until her death. that would be a really good reason for the people who were supposed to respect Sakumo for his skill and dedication to turn against him so easily. I mean, he was a shinobi considered stronger than the Sannin. Why TF would they shame such a powerful shinobi the way they did unless they really couldn't rely on his loyalty?

I don't think Sasori's parents would have had much to do with it. I mean, as much as Chiyo obviously hates Sakumo, her brother was more meh about it. Like he knew it was a mission and it just happened that sasori's parents ended up against someone who could beat them, leading to their death. Suna could blame Sakumo for that of course, but i don't think Chiyo would have a whole lot of support in it personally.

I think genuinely, Sakumo was an outlayer. He was powerful, but like Kakashi he didn't fit into a certain mold. Like Kakashi, he was someone who was easy to turn on.

Kakashi was a powerful shinobi who constantly risked his life for his village and gave his whole heart to protect them, and how do they repay him? 'friend killer kakashi'. No recognition for his efforts in protecting the village from pein (yes naruto saved the village obv and deserves recognition, but Kakashi got fuck all after giving his life to give them a fighting chance.)

I really just think there were people the village never could fully accept, and when it came down to it and those people fucked up the village threw them away like trash.

Orochimaru also falls into this unfortunately, and largely because of Hiruzen's view on them. Orochimaru was a prodigy but instead of trying to work with them and get them to stop what they were doing, Konoha just dismissed them and made them an enemy. There was zero attempts to ever trfy and steer Orochimaru away from the path they took, and i think Sakumo was treated the same.

I don't think Tsunade or Jiraiya would have been treated this way. Tsunade because she's the grandaughter of Hashirama and thus viewed as important by Konoha even when she's so completely broken from everything she has lost. Jiraiya because he's personable even when he's creepy. heck, the elders voted for him as Hokage even though he's legit one of the worst choices.

Sakumo wasn't personable. from what we see of him, he's an anxious dork.

someone who fit outside of the mold

[princessofprocrastination]

The Faceless Youtuber (Sapnap)

MASTERLIST

pairing : sapnap / nick armstrong x reader 

summary : people often pressure faceless youtubers to reveal themselves. but for you, you were happy to show it to the world. but were they ever ready to see who you actually are? (fluff)

a/n : hi! i know it’s been awhile since i wrote a sapnap one, so here it is. (finally it’s not an angst.) AU 

-

 the first faceless legend that anyone could really think off would probably be sia. she kept herself secluded, always performing on big stages with her face covered, until she didn’t.

you loved your time being a faceless youtuber. you enjoyed it, if you say so yourself. you knew that once you let the world know what you look like, you can’t really take it back, no matter how many people respected your decision, there would still be a couple who don’t. 

the world knew very little of you, just your first name, and maybe which state you lived in. you liked to keep them anticipating and kept in the dark. 

they also knew that you were for some reason close with the twitch streamer, karl jacobs. the same karl jacobs that is always on mr beast’s videos. when they kept asking you two questions, you would tell them that the two of you simply met through mutual friends. 

of course, being friends with the opposite gender, or not would mean that there would be certain rumours, which included that the two of you are dating, or that the two of you are siblings. 

you laughed and played along sometimes at their stupid theories but it seemed like no one really had guessed who you actually are. 

honestly, you weren’t sure how no one has figured out who you are, or even just whose sibling you are. 

granted, it wasn’t often that you appeared in your brother’s videos, but you appeared in a couple, enough for at least a couple people to figure it out. 

being a friend of karl meant that you were friends with his friends, so you’ve met and spoken to everyone he knows, which obviously included everyone that’s in the dream smp.

so you’ve met everyone on the smp, eventually you got so close to dream that he allowed you into the smp. 

being karl’s fiance and all, you’ve definitely met quackity and sapnap before. and for some reason, you and them clicked so well. 

you and sapnap got really close whilst you joined the smp, being a year younger than he is. he treated you like his sister almost. 

what he didn’t know was that you hated that he treated you as his little sister. but what he doesn’t know, wouldn’t hurt him. 

you and your brother had a couple times talked about what you should do, or how you should do your face reveal. 

and it clicked to you that your brother is doing a spin on youtube rewind for 2020. and since everyone pretty much was on lockdown or in another country, he couldn’t really film people so he asked content creators to send him certail clips he wanted for the big video. 

so you brought it up to him, and not to everyone’s surprise, he loved the idea. also being the fact that he wanted to troll people about dream’s face reveal, he liked the idea of an actual faceless youtuber making a face reveal in his video. 

if people reading this hadn’t figured it out yet, yes, you are indeed the sister of the mighty mr beast. as fun as that sounds, life can get chaotic with him around, which was one of the reasons you moved out, away from him. though not far, it felt good to be able to wake up to no screaming. 

you’ve definitely thought about the consequences of doing a face reveal on his channel. 

first of all, would people even know you enough to acknowledge you? you’ve also been in the background of some mr beast videos, but they knew you as a crew member. 

of course you told your brother about your concerns, but him being his bubbly self, he told you to never say that about yourself ever again, and that your face reveal would top of dream’s future face reveal. 

-

although you and sapnap, or nick, are close, you’ve never showed him your face, and never revealed to him that you are jimmy’s sister. he respected that, and told you once that it was your choice and never rushed you to show him your face. 

but that didn’t mean you guys didn’t facetime. but instead of your face, he’d see your ceiling. 

he was one of the first people to know that you were planning to do a face reveal on mr beasts’ channel. 

you remembered exactly how the facetime conversation went. 

“sappyyy.” you greeted as the texan boy answered your facetime call. you wanted to tell him your plans as of december 2020. 

“i’m doing a face reveal on mr beast’s 2020 rewind.” you went straight to the point, not wanting to drag it out. you never understood the point, anyways. 

“holy shit, really?” you could see his face as he asks you, in shock. you nodded to him. 

“since we all know dream is really just trolling, jimmy said i could fill in the void in people’s hearts after that.” you laughed, remembering what your brother told you. 

“wait, that means he gets to see your face first?” he asked you. you nodded again. 

“ugh. he never loses, does he?” he jokes around, laughing towards the end of the sentence, clearly clueless about the two of you being siblings.

-

time came for the countdown for the premier of the video. you were nervous, but more excited. you couldn’t wait for people to see you, and to get to know more about the dynamics of you and jimmy’s sibling-ship. 

when you tweeted out a teaser video for the mr beasts’ rewind, everyone was pumped. and although a lot of people knew deep in their hearts that dream wasn’t actually going to do a face reveal, they still had that little bit of hope left in them. 

nonetheless, they were really excited to finally see you, and to get to know more about you, besides knowing which part in america you live in, and what your voice sounds like. 

you saw yours and dream’s name trending on twitter for the face reveal. while you waited for the countdown to touch zero, you scrolled through twitter, to see what they were talking about. 

some were making theories about the face reveal, saying that it was sus that dream and you wanted to do one together, that the two of you were dating. some say that the both of you were just going to troll everyone and isn’t actually doing a face reveal. 

you laughed at some of the stupid tweets you read. they were all definitely in for a treat. 

your brother, jimmy was talking to his cameraman as everyone was anticipating to watch the video. obviously he wanted to document this, he felt a sense of pride for you. also, you brought him a lot of views, according to him. 

you sat next to karl, texting nick as you bounced your leg in mixture of excitement and nerves. 

“oh my god, stop. it will all go well.” karl’s hand stops your annoying leg bouncing as he rests it on your thigh. 

“i can’t help it, after this video, everyone will know what i look like.” you told him. honestly, you didn’t care about what the public would think about you, you were more worried about what nick would think. 

what if he thought you looked weird or just generally didn’t like what you looked like. 

as if karl could hear your thoughts, he said. “he will think you’re the most beautiful girl he’s ever laid his eyes upon.” 

you rocked yourself in the chair you sat to calm yourself down. and just in time, your brother’s video started playing. 

-

SAPNAP’S POV

everyone thinks her and i have this amazing sibling relationship but none of them really know how much i hate that word so much. 

siblings. 

do we not look good together? granted, no one really knows what you look like, but why don’t people ship us together as much as they ship you with all the other guys?

i pushed that hurtful thought down my chest, though. this was it. i can finally see what she looks like. not just the top of her beautiful, healthy hair. not just the side of her neck. 

i watched through the entire mr beast video, seeing all the small creators who have became successful during the pandemic, you being one of them. 

i watched as clips of yours and dream’s youtube videos and streams popped up. i smiled hearing your soft voice talking in the background of the video. 

knowing mr beast, he would put all the important parts towards the end, so i had to sit down and watch the whole video. not that i minded, though. 

there was another thing i was curious about. i knew dream isn’t actually going to show his face, but what if you did the same thing, too? 

you wouldn’t, right?

i bounced both my legs as it came towards the end of the video. 

at that point, they were playing the dream’s supposed face reveal. i chuckle as dream removed his cardboard sign to reveal a mask. i was sure everyone knew that this was coming, anyway. 

then, your part came. 

i heard people in the background of the video talking a little bit about you. they were talking about how mysterious you are, and what they expect you to look like. 

the background voices goes quiet, as the screen starts to show your back. 

everyone right now is staring at the back of your head, your shiny hair as you type away on your computer. your hair was put down, not long but longer than shoulder length. 

your hair isn’t a natural colour. it seems like it had a tone of purple in it, just dark. although i hadn’t seen your face, your hair was just what i had expected. 

you heard mr beast call out your name from behind you. 

“hey, uh, sis? i kinda need your help.” i heard him say. 

wait. did i hear that right? 

there is no way he meant it as actual siblings, right? but then, it he didn’t mean it like that, what was the point of saying it. 

i heard you hum as an answer to him, still not turning back. 

“just turn around and see, dear sister.” mr beast himself, said again. 

oh my god. you and him actually are siblings. that basically confirmed it all. 

“why have you said sister twice now?” your voice soft, but confused to why he repeated that word. 

on screen, you slowly turned to face your supposed brother. you looked straight to your brother, finally giving him the attention he wanted.

soon, you realised that there is a camera pointing to your face. your eyes widen, not expecting a large camera pointed to you as you spoke to your brother. 

your eyes visibly flicked from making eye contact with your brother and the camera, confusion still etched on your face. you offered a small smile and wave to the camera as the scene cuts there. 

holy shit. when karl said she’d be pretty, i didn’t think she was going to be gorgeous. is she even in my league? 

the outro rolls in. mr beast has his arm around your shoulders. 

you were wearing something different this time. you wore a blouse under a sweatshirt, tucked in jeans that fitted you so well. goddamn, you are beautiful. 

“hi.” you exclaimed to the camera, now visibly more comfortable. 

i could hear karl say something, though it sounded far. in the next second, karl came in the shot, hugging you, making sure to wrap his arms on your waist, tightening it after a while. you gave karl a small kiss on the lower part of his cheek since he’s slightly taller than you.

queue the ship comments. the little interaction burned me a little but karl’s love language is physical touch and you and him have been friends for a while, so i tried to not think about it too much. 

i focused on the grin on your face as your brother went on to talk about how proud he is of you, and how far you’ve come. 

the video finally ends with you grabbing and holding karl’s hands as you went forward, near the camera to give it a kiss. 

“i love you guys, byeee.” you ended it, pulling the ‘e’ as far as you can. 

the video ends. 

holy shit. i need to call this girl. 

-

YOUR POV 

as the video ends, while the guys and you are laughing at you giving the camera a kiss, your phone goes off. a facetime call from someone you wished to hold like you did to karl. 

you jumped in your seat, on the couch, excited to finally call him and not have to cover your face.

“helloo.” you dragged your ‘o’s.

“you beautiful woman, why would you hide that from me for so long?” his voice louder than usual, almost screaming. he has a large smile on his face that complimented all his facial features. 

you smiled back to him, knowing that he wasn’t actually expecting an answer from you. 

“is karl next to you?” he asked you.

“you called me to talk to your fiance? this is unfair.” you pouted. 

“just you wait, gorgeous. pan the phone to him.” he told you. 

you showed karl’s face on your phone, now karl sitting even closer to you to get a better look of his friend. 

“yes, my betrothed?” karl starts conversating with the man on call. 

“listen here. you are to be far far away from my woman, got it? no hugging her anymore. you can only sit next to her if there’s room for jesus, no closer.” he said seriously. that was intimidatingly hot, you couldn’t lie.

“what? i got her before you did, this isn’t fair at all.” karl whined. 

“nah, before i seclude her from you, i better see some space between you and her.” nick told karl. 

“i guess you’re losing the fiance card, karl.” you told your best friend, laughing. 

karl, although still whining, tried not to laugh along with you and some of the boys who heard your conversations.

you glanced at your brother who was standing opposite you. he gave you a small wink and gave you a thumbs up, mouthing “i approve.”

you rolled your eyes. you glanced at the camera next to jimmy, recording this very conversation. you knew that everyone would not live this one down ever. 

you blushed, remembering the very words nick had said on the call. 

[lubdubsworld]

Insatiable  ( Jungkook x Oc ) Chapter 8

Pairing : Jeon Jungkook x OC

Rating 18+

Genre : Vampire Au!!!! , DILF! Jungkook ! Bodyguard AU! Babysitter OC!   Age difference!!!

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3   Chapter 4 Chapter 5   Chapter 6  Chapter 7

Chapter 8

“Heartbreak looks good on you...” My sister commented impishly, watching me slip the teardrop earring into my lobe, the ruby red stone glinting in the dimlight of the bedroom. 

It was a couple of weeks since my uncle had come over and today, all the important clan leaders from around the country would be heading over to pay their respects to him. As one of the oldest surviving vampires, he commanded a lot of respect and no one really wanted to be on his bad side. 

Which just made me love Jungkook all the more because I couldn’t forget how he’d literally thrown himself in between us that day. I wanted to give him  everything  in return but apparently, all i was allowed to give him was space. 

My father had visited me everyday , giving me a very cryptic, ‘ I’ll make sure the two of you get your happy ending, dearest but you need to trust me and stay away for a while. Just a while. ’. 

But it seemed so impossible, so far away and just so unlikely that I was beginning to lose hope. 

It didn’t help that I hadn’t actually seen Jungkook in these two weeks . Namjoon took his place and my only connection to him was Joowon , who told me his father was busy ...that he stayed with Hwasa most evenings . I felt jittery and nervous and even more so today because of the lavish party being hosted in the Grand Ball Room, which was easily the biggest room in the entire estate. The last time it had been opened was for my parent’s wedding a whole two centuries ago.  

For once I couldn’t hide in the daycare in sweats. My uncle apparently insisted that i be present for the party tonight. 

It only made my anxiety skyrocket. 

I was a mess when it came to formal parties with century old vampires. I had all the formal training of course, but still the etiquette lessons were long forgotten and lot of those cranky old bats had very archaic ideas about what was allowed and what wasn’t. 

I  didn’t want some entitled century old vampire pawing at my neck for a drink tonight. I really didn’t. 

But i had done my part. Put on a red dress, the backline dipping all the way down to the base of my spine , let one of the make up artists in the clan have a go at my face and even put on blood red lipstick. 

I grunted , trying to yank the small lace and leather garter up my thigh. It had a holster for a dagger, the small ornate silver one that all the women in the clan carried. The dagger was crafted with the Hwang crest on its handle and I carefully sheathed it in, patting my thigh to make sure it wouldn’t slip down my limb. 

“Don’t make fun of my misery.” I glared at her and she actually laughed. 

“Sera, you feel too much too deeply. Jungkook isn’t going anywhere. He’ll come around. “ She said gently.

I shook my head.

“I don’t want to wait though. I... I don’t know why I hate waiting but I do..”

“He looks like a kinky bastard. Tell me, did you guys try anything ...I don’t know..risky?”

Nothing riskier than getting edged in front of a whole hotel full of guests and then getting fucked in the back of a car. Oh, did I tell you he spit in my mouth? And I loved it.

“Not really.” I lied but I could feel my face heating up as I turned around, back to the mirror as i felt my ears burning.

My sister shrieked so loud I jumped, nearly knocking over the bottle of perfume on the dresser.

“Oh my God, Sera, you naughty little bint! Tell me now!!!” She screeched and i flushed.

Like hell i was telling my sister what we had done.

“It’s private!!” I hissed when she tried to yank me and she laughed. 

“You’re shy... aww that’s cute. But that’s just because you recently got un-virgined . Bet you  can’t wait for him to desecrate your special place again, huh?” She waggled her eyebrows. 

“That is the single most disgusting thing you’ve ever said.” I gagged.

She laughed again. 

“Relax. He was your first. Happens . But like I said, don’t worry about him being serious about this. I think he is. You guys had sex and dad knows that. And yet somehow he’s still walking around with his had attached to his shoulders. Do you really think father would have let him live if he didn’t have feelings for you?”

I frowned.

“That’s not fair. It was consensual. He didn’t force me into anything or tell me he had feelings ....”

She scoffed at that. 

“Please tell me you still don’t think he hasn’t got feelings for you. He went batshit-crazy when you went on that date with Yugyeom. Jimin thought he was having a stroke or something. Dude’s so gone for you it isn’t even funny.”

“ Fat lot of good that does me! ” I snapped. “ If he doesn’t acknowledge those feelings he might as well not have any. And so far he’s made it abundantly clear that he’s not going to act on them. Ever.” 

“Because he’s clearly involved in something dangerous.” She said easily, making me blink.  “I’m not supposed to be telling you this but I’m kind of sick of you moping around like the world is ending and I’m just going to trust you to be smart about it.”

“What do you mean dangerous?” I whirled around to glare at her, pulse racing. 

“I have no clue. Dad and Jungkook are working on something.  But they’ve been huddled in the administrative building for three days now and no one has seen them . So i don’t really know what it is they’re planning. But I’ve always wondered if Jungkook was hiding from something. It would explain why he’d work as a bodyguard...with his skills he could be so much more.  ”

Frustration bloomed,  this time laced with worry. I wanted to know what was going on. God, if i could only see him. A glimpse would be enough. Just to make sure he was okay. Just to hear from him that he was okay. That he was going to be safe. 

“Think he’ll be at the party?”  I asked softly, feeling a whole lot pathetic at the way my heart lurched hopefully. 

My sister gave me a very mischievous smile. 

“Maybe . Maybe not. You look ravishing by the way.  And everyone out there wants you. Literally. Don’t forget that. Don’t be easy. Make him beg a little. ” She winked. 

I frowned. 

“He won’t beg. He’ll turn the tables around and make me cry.” I shuddered.  . Which really wouldn’t be that hard . I felt like I was always on the verge of tears these days. 

The knock on the door made us both look up. 

“Who’s escorting you tonight?” My sister asked gently. 

I shrugged. 

“No one. I’m just gonna walk in there by myself because I hate all of you. ” I grabbed the small bejeweled clutch from the table and hesitated just a second. 

God , I had no strength for tonight but there was a possibility that Jungkook could be there tonight. And I wanted to see him, if for no other reason than to kick him in the teeth. 

 I slipped into the strappy peep toe heels, stumbling a little because i wasn’t used to them. 

Swearing at the sharp pain shooting up my heel and shin, I wrenched the door open. Ignoring the simpering man on the other side, i stalked right past him. 

It was going to be a long , long night 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The ballroom looked ....for lack of a better word : overwhelming. 

Whoever was in charge of the decoration had clearly taken the budget, quadrupled it and then pretty much ordered one of everything. I stared at the sheer overdose of satin and gauze and felt myself shuddering. 

Red and black was the theme for the night and I half wished I’d chosen to wear something in turquoise blue just to give my eyes some sort of relief. But there was no denying that it looked especially lavish, the huge hall big enough to fit a dozen foot ball fields, the high ceiling that seemed to stretch right up to the heavens and the million candelabras and chandeliers hung all over the place. 

The carpeted floors felt soft under my foot and it was still early, only a few pople flitting about while the ushers and helpers rushed about, tweaking deatils, rechecking placement charts, placing refreshments on the table. Small bottles of blood arranged neatly on the table and I rolled my shoulders, eyes darting around to find someone familiar. 

Kim Minjae and Kim Mingyu were just entering the hall and I grimaced. God, no. But i watched as they casually posed in front of the blood red backdrop, while cameras flashed and i frowned. Were supernatural tabloids really that starved for material? 

“Sera, go on, you need to get your picture taken too!” My aunt materialized out of nowhere , dressed in a puffy red gown with ruffles and I shook my head. 

“Later... i need a drink.” I said quickly, escaping her clingy fingers and rushing away . 

As the only human in the entire damn place, I would have to walk all the way to the bar on the far corner of the ballroom to beg for a drink. 

I was half way there when a commotion at the door made me look up. My father had arrived with him a majority of his counsel and a bunch of other guests as well. I stared, my eyes zeroing in on a very familiar figure , my father’s arm wrapped around his shoulder.

Jeon Jungkook stood right next to my father dressed to the nines and with a dazzling smile in place. 

I gawked at him. 

Trying to process what it was that I was seeing. 

He was smiling. He had the audacity to smile after ignoring me for two whole weeks. 

I took a deep breath.

“You better have a pretty darn good explanation for the radio silence you treated me to the past two weeks. “ I intoned dully to myself , trying to ignore the way he looked, completely at ease in the spotlight. 

He turned a little to the left and his gaze caught mine. I watched as he smiled and shook hands with the people around him before whispering something to my father. 

I dug my heels into the floor, glaring as he extricated himself from the elite crowd and slowly began walking over. God, i wanted to kick him so bad. 

He stopped in front of me, looking expectant and my anger merely doubled in intensity. 

“Anything you wanna say, Jeon?” I snapped. 

“You’re beautiful. Breathtakingly so. Red is your color, angel. I wanna see you in it more often. “ He answered at once. 

My mind went distressingly blank for a whole thirty second. 

“ Did i fucking offer? ” I demanded , angry. “ I’m not dressing up for you. Ever. You ignored me for two entire weeks Jungkook! i didn’t know where you were...what you were doing...” 

“Sera, I’m sor -” He began but I squawked in disbelief, shoving him away hard. He stumbled, more in surprise than from the impact but he looked surprised .  

I felt myself shaking in anger. How dare he?

“Oh, no. No. You do not get to waltz back in with a simple sorry.... not after treating me like shit the past two weeks...Absolutely not.” I snarled, shoving him again but this time he didn’t budge. Ugh. 

I made to move past him but he grabbed my elbow , yanking me back till I crashed into his chest. It was humiliating , the way my body practically vibrated with pleasure from being near him. His arms around me felt like heaven and I’d spent two whole weeks in purgatory. 

“You need to stay with me Ms. Hwang. I’m your bodyguard, remember?” He whispered, lips pressing against my neck, breathing in my scent  and I glared at his arms.

“No you’re not. Namjoon is!! Where is he?” I asked angrily , but he pulled me closer, hands resting on the bare skin of my back as he hugged me tight, lips latching onto my neck, breathing deep and my knees buckled. i had missed this. So much and even if this was all i got, I wanted to savor it. Savor it even if I hated him for the way he treated me all the fucking time.  

“Missed you.” He whispered, lips wet and wanting , damp on my skin as he pressed kisses along my shoulder. I loved it but I knew he was going to leave me again and that just made me angrier. 

“You’re a liar.” I choked out. 

“No. I’ve lied about a lot of things but never about how you’ve made me feel, Sera. You set me on fire.”

I choked, anger and affection flooding my senses, confounding me because it was like being caught in an endless game of push and pull. 

I trembled, fists punching his shoulder in protest but he didn’t move. I could feel eyes on us and it made me flush. How dare he... How fucking dare he. 

“Let go of me! You said you don’t want me so let me go!” I said petulantly and he made a small noise of protest. 

“That’s not true angel...you know it’s not. I want you... Want you so damn bad , i ache with it.” He whispered the words into my skin and I bristled. 

“Fucking liar, let go of me!” i was going to cry. Actually burst into tears in the middle of the ballroom. 

He didn’t let go of me. 

Instead his fingers fluttered down my bare back, feather light and maddening , tracing a path down my bare skin and I gripped is jacket at the electric contact. 

i trembled, my thighs shaking but I couldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing how much I wanted him. I swallowed, shaking my head. 

There was no music and we weren’t even near the dance floor. I couldn’t imagine how we must look to the people around us. But it was hard to think of that when I could feel him all over my body, could feel his heartbeat pulse right against mine and when his arms felt like an anchor , grounding me . 

“You think I need you.” My voice shook a little, “ I really fucking don’t Jungkook and I want you to remember that. I don’t need you. I don’t need to touch you . I’m fine with you never touching me ever again. ” I lied, gripping him harder. 

My words didn’t match my actions at all and he seemed to realize it, chuckling lightly and letting me press myself closer into his warm, solid body. He kept his arms around me, waist pressed into mine and thighs hard and solid against mine.

“I know that... i need you far more than you need me.” He said sweetly, kissing my brow and stroking my hair. He slipped his fingers into the strands, running the silky length between his fingertips , his voice brimming with fondness . It hurt, the fact that I couldn’t have this all the time. 

That somehow I was only offered glimpses of this Jungkook. Little snapshots of a what our life together could be but when I tried to draw closer, he always pulled away. 

I glared at him wanting to demand more answers 

. And then my eyes fell on the small dagger sheathed into his belt. My sister’s words floated into my mind. Was Jungkook running from something? 

“Are you in danger?” I whispered, softly. “ Darling, i need to know if you’re in trouble. I need to know.” 

He trembled a little at the endearment. 

“Baby, I’m going to be fine. Don’t worry about me alright. It’s important that you stay safe. “

The words brought no comfort of any kind. 

I stared at him. 

“What is it with the people around me spewing platitudes in my face without telling me what is going on! Do you just not trust me?” I asked desperately, hurt blooming. 

Jungkook swallowed.

“i trust you with my entire life Sera. But, I just don’t want you to get hurt.” He said gently.

I rolled my eyes. 

“Please....you’re five centuries old , so can you leave the whole cliché knight in shining armor back in the dark ages and just treat me like your equal? I’m not a helpless damsel in distress Jungkook...!!” 

He nodded, reaching for me again but I pulled away, wrapping an arm around myself. He hesitated, hands stretched out to touch but hovering a few inches away . 

“you’re right. I was out of line. But to be fair your father was very firm that I had to stay away from you...no contact of any kind till tonight. “

“And what’s so special about tonight.?” I asked , upset at how little i knew about what was going on. Jungkook’s gaze softened, and he pressed a palm to my cheek, thumb tracing circles on my jaw, before pressing a gentle kiss to my lips. 

“ You’ll see. “ He smiled, “ And as for the rest of it, we’ll talk about this . I promise. We will....tonight after everything ends. I need to go now. Your father’s waiting for me,” 

I clung to him, feeling abandoned all over again. 

“What are you guys upto?” I grabbed his arm but he gently pulled my fingers away. 

“I’ll come find you. “ Was all he said before moving away and I groaned in disbelief. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Uh oh. I can recognize that look. On a scale of one to ten , how much trouble is Jeon Jungkook in?” Namjoon asked gently, watching me glare daggers at the man in question as he hung around near the front of the hall, surrounded by clan leaders.

 He was meeting everyone, apparently a social butterfly and i couldn’t fathom it. The last time we’d had a party he’d sneaked off to get laid with Helena. 

Speaking of who,

“She’s going to castrate him. I can feel it.” The sultry eyed vampire, sat next to me, her long nails tapping the scarlet drape of the table as she watched me, eyes heavy and hot, gaze trained on my neck.

 I’d never felt more like prey. 

“ Nice to meet you Helena.” Namjoon said casually taking the seat next to me. Great.  I was caught between two vampires that knew exactly how gone I was for Jungkook and exactly how ....not gone he was for me.  The night just kept getting better. 

“Always a pleasure daddy.” Helena said , eyes dancing with wicked mischief and Namjoon choked on his wine, spewing it all over the table. I stared at the pair in disgust. 

“Disgusting.” I snapped. “Look at him. He hasn’t looked at me in an hour. How am i supposed to believe that he wants me so much I set his skin on fire.” I demanded shrilly. 

Both of them went quiet. They looked very uncomfortable and i felt myself flush. 

I glared at them , self conscious. 

“What?! Jungkook said so himself.” I protested. 

Both of them began guffawing. 

“I’m never letting him live this down.” Namjoon chuckled and I rolled my eyes. I could feel eyes on me, everywhere. Everyone’s gaze flitted to me every few minutes. Some of the younger vampires hovered a discreet distance away but had their gazes trained on me . 

Everyone looked at me except Jungkook. There really was no justice in this god forsaken world, was there? 

Did he really think I was weak and harmless? I suddenly felt foolish . I wasn’t weak. I wasn’t powerless. 

So , so far from it in fact.

I didn’t use my abilities because of how morally ambiguous they were. My father had drilled it into my head, right from childhood, that I couldn’t use my powers without explicit permission from him and I had listened to him. 

Had played the role of the harmless human who just happened to have really intoxicating blood inside her veins. 

But somehow that had ended up with me being pushed out of the loop with the man I loved. Jungkook thought I was some kind of helpless damsel he needed to keep safe and it just...it irked me. 

It was laughable that he thought something could be dangerous to me. 

It was laughable because I  was  easily the most dangerous creature in this entire room. 

i pulled my phone out, texting furiously.

 I want to see you. 

 I stared at Jungkook waiting for him to see. He pulled his phone out read the screen and to my utter chagrin he slipped the phone back in without answering.

 All right, That’s it.  

I stood up slowly, Namjoon stiffening next to me. 

“Where are you going? “ He asked warily. 

“To mingle.” I said casually. “ you can stay here, daddy. I’ll be fine by myself. “

He spluttered again and Helena laughed lowly. 

“I like her. “ Her voice rang out and i smirked, making a beeline to wards the front of the room, where Jungkook stood with a few other vampires around the same age as him. They all straightened at the sight of me, lust evident in their eyes and I saw Jungkook go a little stiff when he noticed I was alone.

“Where’s Namjoon?” He said shortly. 

“With Helena.” i said with a shrug.” Evening gentlemen.” I smiled softly, parting my lips lightly, letting my tongue dart out and wet them before leaving them parted, tongue peeking out. 

Jungkook pressed in closer, arm darting to wrap around my waist but he seemed to think better of it, pulling away again. 

“Sera...” He began warningly but i cut him off. Jungkook didn’t know what he had. 

And I was too fucking beautiful to be ignored tonight. 

“Isn’t someone starting the music? What a terrible bore this party has been...” I said loudly and the men scrambled closer, almost tripping over each other. 

Pathetic really but at least they served their purpose. 

“Should we get you another drink, Sera?” One of them said. 

“Let me go find that Dj...” The tallest of the lot wandered off. 

“You’re right..are you hungry..? Where’s that waiter?” The one right next to me lifted a hand, waving the nearest uniformed helped and I smirked at Jungkook. 

“Having fun?” I asked. 

“You need to go stay with Namjoon.” He said stiffly.

“where’s the fun in that? “ I hesitated, locking my eyes with him and lightly lifting my heel up to rest on the chair right next to him. The slit in my dress fell open, exposing the entire length of my leg, especially the red lace of my garter. 

Jungkook’s eyes narrowed as he stared at the dagger strapped to my thigh, the red and gold stark against the milky white flesh. I rand a forefinger up from my knee to the top of the garter belt, lightly circling the tip over the sharp edge of the dagger. 

“Don’t...” He growled. I smirked.

“Don’t what?” I whispered. 

“Don’t fucking do it, baby... I’ll be really , really mad if you do. “ He was almost shaking with the effort to not grab me and i could feel it. Feel the urge to put me in my place, simmering beneath his skin but he was helpless. 

Any wrong move on me and he would have a dozen daggers in his heart within the next second. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about .” I feigned ignorance, purposefully pressing the thick of my finger into the edge of the dagger, gasping as it broke skin, tearing my flesh and drawing out my blood. 

A collective gasp ran through the crowd around us and it was quite the sight, an entire group of century old Vampires going stiff as boards,  nostrils flared pupils blown wide open as they all stared at me .

 I smiled wide, trying to inject a note of contrition into my voice. 

“Oops. That was clumsy of me. .” I giggled, holding my finger up. the blood beaded over and spilled , trickling down my wrist and I locked my gaze with Jungkook’s, bringing my arm up, licking the scarlet fluid up, tracing its path with my tongue all the way to where the dagger had nicked me before sticking the finger into my mouth with a lewd pop. 

A vampire, about three feet away from me was breathing heavily , grabbing the chair next to him and sinking into it. His fangs were out and his breathing was erratic. i watched his eyes flash red and I laughed.

“I’m sorry. “ I said sweetly and he gave me a blank smile.

“That’s alright, my lady . “ He was almost choking from the effort to stay composed. Poor thing. I let my gaze flit back to Jungkook who had a terrifyingly blank look on his face. 

“You little whore.” Jungkook whispered softly and i lurched. 

“Yours . If you want me. But if you don’t...then anyone’s really.” I shrugged unrepentant. 

“Really? You think any of the vampires here’s gonna want you after the stunt you just pulled? No one wants a needy little slut.” He said casually but I could see him shaking a little. There was a teeny tiny crack in that cocky attitude and I’d never wanted to stick my fingers in something so bad. 

I felt myself grin in anticipation. 

“It’s not about what I think, Jungkook. Its about what I  know.” 

He stared at me. 

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“You think I’m helpless, Jungkookie.... But the truth is... I can turn every single person here into my own personal  marionette if i wanted to. “ I shrugged. 

Jungkook’s eyebrows lifted, lips parting in surprise. 

“I’m listening.” 

I moved to the table in the corner, patting the chair next to me. He took the seat next to me and I smiled. 

“Now watch....” I snapped my fingers, signaling the waiter with the glass jar of lemon soda  and vodka in his tray. 

“Can you let my father know I want to leave the party early with Jungkook here?” I asked gently. The waiter flushed, but nodded and I casually slipped my finger into the lemonade jar, dipping lightly in the fluid.

Jungkook grimaced . 

“That’s disgusting.” 

I laughed. 

“Now let’s see who gets to drink it.” I followed the waiter as he moved around stopping in front of a group of very young vampires, about four or five of them. Two girls and three guys. They all took glasses of vodka from the waiter and i sighed.

“You know what makes my blood so powerful Jungkookie? “ I said softly. “ It’s the fact that it is  sentient.” 

Jungkook went stock still still next to me, lips parting in shock.

“What?” He croaked. 

I nodded.

“My blood is sentient. It can feel and see and control. If my blood mixes with yours, it will dominate your thoughts and feelings. I will literally take over you. But it also needs my instruction. So it’ll put you in a trance..... Leave you feeling boneless and disoriented , easier to manipulate. People think its because it tastes so good and they enjoy the feeling. They don’t know what the fuck they’re opening themselves up to...by letting me inside. “ I wrapped my arms around myself. 

“I’m painted as the beautiful, kind and precious human who needs to be protected....only because I am anything  but. In this room, Jungkook....I’m probably the one capable of wrecking the most havoc.” 

“Sera...”

“Nobody knows except for my father and I because...well... just the scent of it makes people chase me down. Can you imagine what they’d do to me if they knew the true extent of my powers.” I said bitterly. I let my gaze shift back to the kids with the drinks. The drinks that were tainted with my life essence.  

I watched them take sips of their drink and felt the mild tingling in the back of my head. Like a gossamer thread forming and wrapping around me and I swallowed. It was easy to ignore and I never had any trouble ignoring it when I let my family feed from me. Because I trusted them. 

But these kids though. My body thrummed, focusing on one person. 

The girl in the red halter top. 

“See the girl with the red top and black skirt....” I swallowed. “ She slit the throat of an old woman on her way here.” 

Jungkook swore next to me. 

“I can see the woman... she’s on her knees , begging for her life. She’s really old.” 

That wasn’t all. i could feel the grip of the dagger, the push of the blade against skin, the pull as the flesh gave in, the blood spurting out onto my fingers the scent of death as she bled out. 

I felt nausea bubble and I severed the connection forcibly. The girl’s pretty face didn’t match her filthy insides. i couldn’t stay in her head. The tendrils began wrapping around my head as  the four of them took more sips. 

“When I want... i can influence their thoughts. It takes more effort but it’s possible. it’s why my father wanted to make sure you actually wanted to be with me. He thought I’d coerced you . which I can . if I want. But I didn’t. I don’t do that ever. ” I shook my head. 

Jungkook’s brows raised. 

“By coerce you mean....”

“It can be as simple as influence your decision... but if I really put in the effort, i can make people physically do what I wanted. “ 

“Physically?”

I smiled.

“Remember the boys from my college ? the ones who nearly drained me out?” 

He nodded. 

“My father didn’t have them defanged. They did it to themselves. Literally stuck their own hand into their mouth and ripped their fangs out . Because I wanted them too.” 

Jungkook looked like he’d stopped breathing. 

I swallowed.

“You don’t have to say anything. I just wanted to tell you that if you’re trying to protect me by withholding information, its kind of unnecessary. I can take care of myself.” 

“Alright. What do you want to know?”

“Just tell me what’s going on  “ I sighed.  Jungkook gave me a piercing look. 

“Remember Joo Won’s mother?” 

“The witch you killed?”

“Her father’s out for my blood. He doesn’t know where I am as of now. Your father thinks one of his lackeys must be in attendance today so he’ll know where I am.... and  he’ll come for me. And when he does... I’m going to end it .”

I stared at him.

“ Okay. “ I swallowed. “ How dangerous is he?” 

Jungkook laughed without mirth. 

“I’m not sure if I’m coming out of this alive.” 

Blood rushed to my ears, so fast I felt momentarily lightheaded. My entire body rejected the mere idea of Jungkook getting hurt. And to hear him talk of it so lightly, it messed me up badly. The fragile hold I had on my mind snapped. 

“No.” I said angrily. 

Across the room, the girl in the red halter stumbled,  clutching her head .

  Anger and the urge to hurt clawed up inside me and I tried to get it under control. 

Fuck, I had to sever the connection fully before i did something terrible to her..

 But it wasn’t happening, 

In fact the more i tried to get away the more her conscience seemed to be wrapping around mine., 

 Distance. I had to put distance between us. 

I need to leave now,  I pushed the thought in through the connection and  i watched her as she stumbled away from her friends, hands buried in her hair.

“Sera what the fuck... “ Jungkook grabbed my arm, eyes wide and panicked and I trembled. 

I felt guilty and scared because there was a reason i didn’t do this and the reason was quite simple. This power...or whatever you wanted to call it, It was bigger than me. I couldn’t control it . 

My blood was sentient and sometimes it could control me , just as easily as it controlled others. 

“She’s just leaving... I just made her leave because I’m not .. I can’t. ...fuck...” My head swam as I tried to get my bearings. 

“ okay that’s it...we’re getting out of here.... ” Jungkook stood up, reaching for me and I blinked, disoriented and dizzy. “Come here, baby I got you...” 

I let him wrap his hand around my waist, half lifting , half dragging me out of the ballroom and into the hallway. I gripped his chest, stumbling. I wasn’t tired, just struggling to get my head on straight . 

But the scent of him calmed me. 

“I need you.” I whispered. “ I need you to be safe Jungkook. I’ve spent too long pretending to be something I’m not but with you... I’m.. You... You make me feel human. Truly human. “ 

“Fuck... hang on. I’m gonna take you to my cottage.”

I blinked

“your what?”

“My cottage. Hang on...”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

By the time Jungkook opened the door to the cottage, I felt a little like myself again. But my body thrummed , my skin on fire, my fingers trembling with adrenaline. 

“you look like you need to lie down.” He said gently.

I glared at him. 

“The last thing I need is to lie down.” I snapped.

He held his hands up.

“Alright. Calm down, baby..... Why are you so upset?” He asked soothingly and I scoffed.

“ You fucked me in public and the next day  you looked like you’d been handed a death sentence, when my father suggested that you court me and then... you disappeared for two whole weeks....and now you turn up and tell me that your life is in danger. You do all this shit and I’m  not allowed to be upset? ” I said angrily.

He hesitated. 

“I merely meant it would be dangerous. I am not actively trying to die.” He said softly.

“As for the rest of it.... I’m not the same person I was a month ago Sera.... You.. You’ve managed to claw you way into my heart and the only reason I didn’t want to court you was because of what I was involved in. I told you that...the baggage I’m carrying is too much for me to even think about being with you.... That’s the only reason. “

I stared at him. 

“Are you telling me you fell for me too?”

Jungkook smirked a little.

“You were fucking me all the time without touching me. How could I not fall for that utterly shameless gaze of yours. You were your heart on your sleeve and your heart is always filled with filthy thoughts about me Sera. You make it way too obvious. “ He said teasingly. 

“I don’t want you to die.” I said petulantly. 

“That makes two of us. “ He smiled. “ What do you want, Sera?” 

“Want you.” I said automatically, too raw and upset to think too much about it.

“You have me.” He stepped closer, hands resting on my shoulder, eyes earnest and i hated how much I wanted to believe him . But heartbreak after heartbreak after heartbreak had taught me that it was all a lie. I didn’t have him and now ....there was a possibility I could never have him. 

“No, I don’t.” I shook my head, angry. “ Don’t lie to me. I don’t have you.” 

Jungkook made to touch me again but I shoved him away, hard.

“you’re angry. “ He said thoughtfully. “ I understand that. You have every right to be angry. And I’m sorry I can’t tell you what you want to hear right now...Not until this whole debacle ends. But Sera...look at me...”

I bit my lips staring at him.

“I’m here. Now. I’m not going anywhere. It’s just us. You and I. Don’t worry about what happens next. Don’t. Let’s not worry about any of that. I’m here and I’m telling you I’m yours. You have me now.” 

I stared at him, tilting my head as I took him in. 

He didn’t move , merely staring at me evenly.

“You know.... you aren’t the only one who hates being ignored.” I said softly. 

I felt weird. 

Different. 

None of the usual nervousness or anticipation but instead a sort of burning need to  take. To reach out and pin him down , force him to follow through on his promise that I  had him. 

“ I’ve been giving too much of myself to you, Jungkook ...for way too long. I think it’s time I get something back.” I whispered. 

His lips curled in a small, impish smile and he looked a decade younger. His eyes flashed with mischief and anticipation. He looked eager....desperate even and I wondered if this is what I looked like all the time with him. 

“And what would that be...my queen?” he whispered meekly. 

“You. “ I said simply. “ All of you. Your words... your pain...your pleasure... your moans and your very breath. I want to take all of it.” 

I could see his pupils dilating even from the distance between us. 

“Its yours, sweetheart” Jungkook  bowed his head gently, holding his arms out. “Tell me where you want me...how you want me...” 

I glanced around the room. Not the bed. Not yet. 

There was a very sturdy looking chair in front of the small table in the corner. 

“Put that in the middle of the room and sit down.” I pointed at the chair. 

He smiled.

“You want me to stay dressed?” He asked carefully and I nodded. 

“Very well.” He moved to get the chair, placing it in  front of the bed. He sat down carefully. 

“Anything else?” He asked gently.

I narrowed my eyes at him 

“Yes. Keep your mouth shut unless I ask you something.” I said with a smile. His eyes widened in surprise. But he didn’t protest. 

I took in the sight of him on the chair, dressed in his perfectly fitted tux , legs spread and hands on his knees, eyes wide and alert as he stared at me. Pretty red mouth shut obediently. 

I moved closer till I was standing right between his thighs. His hands came up to grip my waists instinctively and I glared.

“Hands’ to yourself Jungkook. You don’t just get to treat me as you fucking like and then touch me without my permission.” I snapped. 

He lowered his hands , letting them rest on his knees again.

“Do you want to touch me , baby?” I whispered pressed my palm to his face before letting my fingers trail up to his hair. it was soft and silky to the touch, the strands like fine silk. 

“Yes.” He answered simply. 

“Then you need to earn it.” I threaded my fingers' into his raven locks, gripping hard and yanking his head back . i stared, fascinated by the ivory length of his neck, the little mole there and i pressed a kiss to his skin. I let my teeth sink in , just a little and then a little bit more. When he shifted, I pulled back, licking the skin to soothe the sting.  His breath caught and he gasped, eyes widening a bit and a small, ‘ fuck’ leaving his lips. 

I pulled back , keeping my fingers in his hair , gripping lightly, before reaching down with my free hand. 

“You have such a pretty neck and it make me wonder what it feels for your kind...sinking your teeth into people and feeding from them. Too bad I don’t have fangs. But you know what I do have?” I winked . 

I brought my leg up, the front end of my shoe resting on the small empty space on the chair , right in the V if his legs. If he moved even a little, my toes would brush the straining length of his cock visible even through the black of his slacks. He was so hard I knew it must’ve hurt. 

I gripped his hair harder and tilted his head down to he could stare at my thighs, specifically the dagger in my garter. 

“I want a taste . Of you. Can I?” I asked gently staring at him, fingers fiddling with the dagger and unsheathing it. 

He nodded. 

“Words. Please.” I smiled.

“Yes...fuck yes.....please...Sera...” 

“Good boy.” I winked, bringing the dagger up to his neck. It was really sharp and I used the tip to lightly draw a small dash, an inch below his ear. I watched the blade tear through the flesh, light and delicate, the skin cleaving and scarlet liquid bubbling up. I chased the flow with my tongue, licking it into my mouth and Jungkook trembled in the chair, jerking forward.

The movement jolted my foot onto his crotch and he grunted, grabbing my ankle when I made to move it away, keeping my heeled foot on his clothed cock. I swallowed,  little out of my league but i stared at him, at the sheer intensity of the desperation in his eyes and I inhaled ....before gently bringing my toes down to press into his cock. 

He moaned, thighs trembling and I  dropped the dagger to the floor.

I slipped both my hands into his hair, holding his head in place as i bent low to capture his lips with mine, sticking my tongue inside his mouth while grinding my foot down into his cock. I licked into his mouth, chasing the warm heady taste of him, my fingers tightening in his hair for leverage and I wondered if he was wet.... If his cock was weeping precum, dribbling into his slacks .

I pulled back to stare into his eyes but he had them shut.

“Look at me.!” i demanded,”  wanna see you...” 

His eyes fluttered open, doe- like and warm and swimming with pleasure and I’d never felt more powerful in my life. I moved my foot slowly, in small controlled circles for a few seconds. 

“You wanna cum in your pants like this? Rutting on my foot like a little mutt? Or do you want to get on the bed and touch me like you wanted to...?” I whispered softly. 

Jungkook swallowed and his fingers tightened on my ankle. . 

“Wanna cum like this.” He said taking me by surprise. I raised an eyebrow. 

“Really... then what about me...?  I want to get fucked too Jungkook ..? How’re you gonna do that if you cum so fast.....” I snapped, gripping his hair harder and he groaned. 

“I... I’ll fuck you again... i promise.. I’ll fuck you hard and make you feel good... just..let me cum...please.. It fucking hurts...” The way his voice cracked a bit on the last few words made my heart jerk inside my ribs. I found myself fighting the urge to give him everything. 

I smiled instead, kissing his lips again.

“Thank God for fast refractory periods huh, my big bad vampire?” I bit his lips, tugging it between my teeth , before reaching between us and slipping the shoe off my foot. Jungkook trembled, gripping me for support when I pulled my foot away and I let him cling to me for a second, before dropping the shoe down and pressing my bare foot on his erection. I spread my toes over the head, pressing down just a little and he inhaled sharply when i circled my toe on the wet patch . 

“Go on them. Make yourself cum.” I whispered, leaning down and kissing him again. He grabbed my ankle with both hands, rutting up into the balls of my feet, hips thrusting up and I let him lick into my mouth, messy and wet as he chased his pleasure. 

I felt him stiffen underneath me, followed by a wash of dampness under my sole and I wrapped my arms around him, holding him close and letting him bury his face into my neck as he trembled through the aftershocks. He gripped my waist, hands shaking as he held me and i waited, worried if I should take my foot off or not. I could feel my legs beginning to cramp and I swallowed.

“You okay?” i whispered.

“Yeah.” He grunted. “ Fuck..that was...” he laughed a little. 

“We’re not done.” I said pressing a kiss to his cheeks and stroking his hair back gently. 

He hummed, gently gripping my ankle and lifting my foot off his crotch. I brought my leg down, wincing a bit. 

“Should we get on the bed?” He whispered. 

I nodded, yelping when he stood up with me still in his arms, he carried me over to the bed, dropping me lightly. 

“Strip.” I said quickly. “ All of it. Want you naked and stretched out on this bed for me.” 

He moved quickly, stepping out of his clothes with ease and I sat on the edge of the bed, grabbing the black tie he discarded. I took off my panties, leaving my dress and the garter belt on. 

 Jungkook naked was a sight i could never tire off and I watched as he climbed into the bed, lying down in the center, legs splayed slightly and hands by his side. 

“Bring your wrists together up over your head” I said quickly and he moved his wrists up , letting me tie them to the head board with his tie as i sat straddled on his chest. I was wet, sopping wet and I felt the trail of dampness I left on his rock hard abs. 

“I’m gonna sit on your face and you’re gonna make me cum. And then , I’m gonna ride you .” I whispered. 

“Fuck.” 

“That’s the plan.”

I scooted forward, resting one knee close to either shoulder before gripping the head board with one hand and the hair on top of his head with the other. Tugging him closer, I lowered my pussy onto his mouth, groaning when i felt soft pressure of his tongue against my center, licking tentatively. 

Jungkook knew what he was doing, and he licked into me with practiced ease tongue slipping into my slit, curling against the walls, before tracing circles around my clit. He used his lips to suckled on the hardened nub , following it up with quick little licks and i slipped a hand between my legs, stuffing three fingers into my cunt to get myself off faster. 

“Oh...fuck... I want... “ I could feel myself shaking and he sped up his movement, licking my lit in quick little strokes and my orgasm hit me like a wave, drowning me in pleasure. I scooted down before losing my strength, collapsing on top of him. The orgasm having knocked me right out of my headspace. I was trembling and shaking, lethargic and completely out of it. 

”Baby...you okay?” Jungkook’s concerned voice came from above and I whimpered. 

“I’m... I’m sorry.... I’m so tired... I...” 

“Don’t worry baby .. i got you. “

I heard the sound of wood splintering and blinked, glancing up. Jungkook had tugged his hands free from the restraint, breaking the headboard in the process. 

I gawked at the scene in disbelief. 

“Did you just....?”

He grabbed the hem of my dress, ripping it up and off me quickly. 

“Fuck..... want to pound you into the fucking mattress my little princess... Such a little tiger aren’t you kitten... so fierce and hot... i loved it baby...you were so good to me ...made me feel so fucking good...” He maneuvered me onto my back and i felt myself blushing at the praise, face heating up as i gripped his shoulders. 

He grabbed the back of my thigh, spreading my legs before lining himself up against my pussy. 

“Fuck...” He slid right in , knocking the breath out of me and i clung to him, whimpering as he pounded into me, hips working so fact I was sure I was going to have trouble walking for a week after this. 

I could feel my orgasm build from the sheer intensity of the thrusts, the hard thick length of his cock pounding into my cunt till i felt swollen and bruised and tender and when it finally tore through me , i was drooling a little, eyes damp with tears and fingers numb from gripping him too hard. 

Jungkook fucked me through the orgasm and chased his own each push of his hips leaving me battered and I bit my lips to stay conscious . When he finally stilled, his cock throbbing as he came for the second time, filling my insides with the wet warmth of his cum, I felt myself shake like a leaf caught in a  storm, my entire body ice cold and trembling. A thin layer of sweat coated my body and I was pretty sure I wouldn’t recover from this for a really long time

“My pretty pretty queen....” He whispered , pressing kisses all over my face as he hugged me closer and I mewled at the warmth of him. 

“Don’t leave me .” i whispered, unable to fight the tug of sleep and exhaustion. 

“I’m right here, baby.” His voice was soothing against my ear as he held me closer. 

Maybe I could have him after all. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author’s note : okay. well. that happened.  if you don’t give me feedback this will be the last smut scene. 

jk

but please do give me feedback . i love hearing from you guys. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taglist. : @ladyartemesia        @veronawrites   @alpaca1612     @bonyg    @unseejuice21  @sppvjj     @ggukkieland     @tae-by-tae      @blr1004      @yoongichild    @stussyjeon  @jellybearo  @sumzysworld   @carolsummerlove@bunniechoon  @unicornbabylover @preciouschimine    @baekhyunatthehaunted-house @craztextae@nikkiordonez12 

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@danietoww04​

[azucanela]

chapter i

pairing: bakugou katsuki x fem!reader

warnings: cursing.

word count: 3k

summary: the internet is enamored with the idea of y/n l/n and bakugou katsuki, two renowned pro heroes, dating. the first issue? the pair rarely interacts. the second issue? apparently, they hate each other, not that anyone knows about that bit. of course, after one night of many mistakes, the whole world knows.

series masterlist

Y/N’S HEAD IS POUNDING when she wakes up the following day. Her hand coming to rub her temple as she attempts to soothe the throbbing of her own head, the light just barely seeping through her blinds already feels like too much as she rises up in her bed. Blinking a few times, Y/N’s eyes adjust to the light and she sighs, stretching her arms upwards and almost wincing at the sound of her bones cracking.

You’d think that a Pro Hero wouldn’t have such issues, and yet.

Coming to a stand, Y/N hisses at the feeling of her cold floor, frowning before she makes her way towards the hallway and rubbing a hand against her eye. She catches a look of herself in the mirror, hair amiss, makeup that she’d applied from the night before still on— and yet her eye bags seem to have grown. If Y/N is honest, she looks and feels like a mess.

That should be a given though, seeing as she couldn’t even remember how she’d gotten home last night. Though Y/N was sure the news would detail any screw ups she’d made. Sighing as she grabs the TV remote from the coffee table by her couch and clicks the TV on. 

“You’re fucking kidding me.” She mumbles out when the TV turns on to reveal that she is in fact the headline, alongside Bakugou Katsuki. 

Almost on cue, a set of rapid knocks sound against her door and Y/N already knows who it is, again.

It was an accident, Y/N hadn’t meant to get blackout drunk at a literal Gala filled with several respectable and admirable peers from the Pro Hero world. And she certainly hadn’t meant to speak poorly about one of those peers— well, if she could really call Bakugou that at this point. After all there was a reason she spoke poorly of him.

“He’s an— an ill-mannered, rude, insufferable—” Y/N inhaled deeply as she looked to Lorelai, gesturing her hands vividly as she finally said, “bastard!”

Lorelai stands with a hand pressed against her temple, rubbing it gently as though that would end the headache that Y/N had probably caused with her shenanigans. “I warned you.”  She mumbles out before reaching into her pocket and pulling out her phone as Y/N continues to drone on about the young man.

“I ran into him and I was filled with complete and utter rage. Did I do a few questionable things? Yes. Do I regret them—” Y/N sighs, bringing her hands to her face as the news plays in the background before saying, “I do.” 

If Y/N was honest, she wasn’t remorseful at all, not when it was Bakugou they were talking about. But she was embarrassed, she’d acted out like a child and there was no denying it. As much as she disliked the idea, a public apology was probably necessary and a private one to Bakugou was the least she owed him. 

Currently Y/N L/N and Bakugou Katuski were on every headline and front page there were, all because Y/N had elected to get a little too drunk and start talking trash about Bakugou. In the world of Pro Heroes, her word carried a lot of weight, so although it was unprofessional, Y/N had a feeling it was Bakugou’s PR team that was panicking right now. 

"You’re trending.” Comes Lorelai’s words, a hand coming to scratch the back of her neck awkwardly as she looks back up at Y/N, “I suppose that’s good.” 

Y/N had a feeling the people who shipped her with Bakugou were rather devastated upon finding out that the (non-existent) couple that they idolized yet had zero interaction actually hated one another. “Maybe they’ll stop thinking Bakugou and I would ever enter a relationship now.”

Raising a brow, Lorelai looks up to her, typing away at her phone without looking at the keyboard as she replies, “actually they’re shipping you with Pro Hero Deku. They caught quite a few pictures of you two dancing together last night.” Lorelai’s eyes returned to her screen, squinting as she mumbled out, “the Bakugou shippers are disappointed, but they’re still going strong. Something about… enemies to lovers?”

Y/N groans in annoyance, it was beginning to become abundantly clear that nothing good was going to come of this. Not that she expected such a thing, but a girl can hope. With a sigh, she shakes away those thoughts, pushing them to the back of her mind as she looks to Lorelai, “what are we going to do?” 

“I am going to speak with Bakugou’s publicist, and set up a meeting.” Comes Lorelai’s response, bringing the phone to her ear as she made her way towards the door for more privacy. 

Y/N looked to her publicist, brows furrowed, “I don’t want to meet with Bakugou.”

Rolling her eyes, Lorelai gestured to the TV as she replied, “we don’t have much of a choice do we?” Sighing, Lorelai stares at the ringing phone before saying, “you can’t let your issues with Bakugou interfere with your career— you two were bound to work together at some point. Whether you wanted to or not.”

Y/N can easily pick up on the underlying words as Lorelai steps out the door, she’s essentially telling her to suck it up. And though Y/N recognizes that she is absolutely and completely correct— that she unfortunately cannot allow Bakugou’s existence to interfere with her career, that doesn’t mean she can’t be upset about it. 

And besides, avoiding him had gone perfectly fine up until now. Y/N was still wondering what had possessed him to actually attend a public event. Last she’d checked, the boy hated them with a passion, and most of the time they only further damaged his reputation. 

Last night was only more evidence of that fact. 

“You’re right.” Comes Y/N’s words, sighing dejectedly as she sinks further into her couch. “Let me know how it goes.” Even Y/N could recognize that there was no other choice, and well— she had to be mature and realistic about this.

Lorelai steps away, and Y/N finds herself glad that she can’t hear whatever it is the woman is saying as she straightens her posture, sitting up as she crosses her legs on the couch to watch the news. 

“Famed Pro Hero Y/N L/N was caught expressing her true feelings for Bakugou Katsuki, and they certainly weren’t what fans were hoping for.” The woman on the screen leans back in her seat, moving out of the way to gesture to the screen behind her, as she opens her mouth to speak again, Y/N finds herself grabbing the remote and changing the channel with a glare towards the reporter. 

Not that it was her fault, Y/N had a feeling if she had a job with any news station right now, this story would mean everything for her career. But she didn’t, she was a Pro Hero, and she had more important things to do— and even then, weren’t there more important things to report on? 

The screen changes, and this time there’s another woman on the screen, a solemn look on her face as she leans forward on the desk with her hands clasped. “As the anniversary of the villain Stain’s incarceration grows near, civil unrest has begun to worsen. With another copy cat killer on the loose, it seem that people have once again taken to the streets to demand his release, or at least a change in his current life sentence for the murder of—”

Y/N shuts off the TV, grimacing at the reminder of her school years. Each year, crime would spike, so more Pro Heroes would set to work around this time. And each year, the number of casualties for Pro Heroes would practically triple because of all the people that tried to target them. This wouldn’t be the first Stain copy cat they’d seen, and it probably wouldn’t be the last. Most of them didn’t last this long though, caught by the police by their first attempt ideally, if not then their first kill.

Y/N had lost good friends to people like that. 

Exhaling deeply, she comes to a stand, pulling out her phone to see she had several unread messages from Lorelai, all of which were in reference to the current… situation they were dealing with. There were— unsurprisingly— a few messages of concern from Izuku that Y/N can’t help but smile at. The boy had always been too kind for his own good. But what did confuse her were the messages from an unknown number, Y/N’s brows furrowed as she moved to open them. 

UNKNOWN ???

It was only a single message, but it still leaves Y/N confused, few people had access to her number, and for some reason she finds it unnerving as she goes to delete the conversation.

BAKUGOU WISHED HE COULD FORGET the chaos that had been the night before. Alas, every moment was burned into his mind, especially that bit in which Y/N had cursed him out while drunk and maybe something about him trying to fight Deku but that wasn’t really anything out of the ordinary. 

His eyes open to the sound of his alarm, and like clockwork— Bakugou rises from his bed and when his feet hit the floor he’s slipping on a set of house shoes instantly. He’d always been more of the type to live a methodical, routine like, life. Make the bed, cook himself a healthy breakfast if he hadn’t already meal prepped for the week, take a shower, get dressed, go to work. And then do it all over again. 

Bakugou had never felt the need for any spontaneity, seeing as his job provided enough of that. Surprise, there’s a murderer on the loose. Surprise, the murderer targets heroes specifically. Surprise, it's a stain copycat killer. Surprise! He hates Pro Hero Ground Zero more than anything in the world. 

The entirety of last night was not the type of surprise Bakugou was used to. Seeing as his phone is ringing as he tries to make his breakfast, and when he looks to see it’s his publicist— well, that isn’t really something out of the ordinary seeing as Bakugou seems to have a different “scandal” every week. But when the calls don’t stop coming...

Last night was a disaster, it didn’t take a genius to recognize that. Just anyone with a phone and some sort of social media, or a tv that had access to the news. Which was basically everyone nowadays. Bakugou liked to think that he had gone through worse, like when they caught him speaking poorly about Deku— although the boy had assured them that Bakugou meant no harm, and Y/N probably wouldn’t do the same.

Yeah, this was a problem. 

Bakugou had a feeling that if he hadn’t been the person who hired him, his publicist would’ve cursed him out by now. Regardless, the man in question had remained… kind of calm. He was clearly on the verge of some sort of breakdown, staring Bakugou down like a hawk as he sat across from him— hands pressed together as they rested against his chin. The man had arrived shortly after leaving Bakugou about a dozen voicemails.

“How did you manage to piss off one of the most influential women in Pro Hero society?”

Despite being a newer Hero, Y/N had worked alongside several of the Top Pro Heroes already, probably because of her connections with Pro Hero Hawks and her own Charisma, making her one of the most likable of the next generation. That and the fact that she was regarded as a potential Number 1 Hero given the speed she was rising through the ranks. 

Although Bakugou was sure this had damaged her credibility in some sort of way, he had no doubt she’d come back from this, even if he didn’t. After all, he wasn’t necessarily known for his award winning personality. 

In response to his publicist’s question, Bakugou finds himself crossing his arms, shrugging before he replies, “beats me.”

Inhaling deeply, his publicist brings a hand to his temple, rubbing it rather harshly in an attempt to end the major headache that was coming on. “You have no idea? None at all—” One of the other PR assistants is standing beside them once more, the guy had been leaving and coming back for a while actually. This time he seems rather anxious though, “and what the hell do you want?”

“Well— well, sir. You see, we’ve been getting a call from—”

His publicist, Haru Ishida, as Bakugou had come to know him, appears to have a vein popping out of his head as he replies, “I don’t care which major news platform wants to hear what we have to say, tell them the same thing—”

“It’s Ms. L/N’s publicist!” The man cries out, hand pressed against the receiver of the phone to keep said woman from hearing their interaction, face flushed red in embarrassment as he stands straighter and adds, “sir.”

Haru’ jaw drops open as he immediately shoots up from his seat, snatching the phone from the assistants hand and bringing it to his ear before swiftly saying, “Haru Ishida, how can I help you?”

Bakugou gives the man a look, “put it on speaker.” He hisses out.

The man does as he’s told and a woman’s voice fills the room, “I think it’s more of how I can help you, Mr. Ishida.” A pause, “I’d like to set up a meeting between our clients. We can discuss more in person.”

“Hell no.” Bakugou says instantly, seeing as his little reunion with his former classmate yesterday had gone very poorly, Bakugou couldn’t really see a world in which another meeting with Y/N benefitted him in any way. Despite this, his words cause Haru to glare at him, opening his mouth to respond only for Y/N to beat him to it.

“Bakugou.” She muses, “both you and Y/N are experiencing blowback from this.” Comes her words, the sound of typing on the other end of the call as she continues, “but you need us more than we need you. I know Y/N will come back from this, with or without you. But can you say the same about your career?” There’s almost a subtle threat if you read between the lines and it leaves Bakugou cursing under his breath.

If Bakugou was right, this was Lorelai Flores, a renowned publicist though she was rather new to the game. As someone who aspired to be the best, Bakugou initially sought her out. She’d rejected his attempts at hiring her of course, which is why he’d ended up with the second best he could secure. Haru, who was currently inhaling deeply as he replied, “that can be arranged.”

“No it cannot—” Haru ignores Bakugou’s attempt at protesting, simply shooting him a glare before returning his attention to the call.

“Fantastic!” The woman exclaims, “perhaps it can be just you and I, Haru. Clearly our clients aren’t inclined to be anywhere near each other. Of course, if all goes well then I’m sure they’ll be seeing each other plenty.” The sound of a pen scribbling against a paper followed by, “pick me up at 7, you have my address.”

The call ends, and Bakugou’s brow is raised as he looks back to his publicist, who clears his throat before saying, “we’ll come to a consensus sir.”

Meanwhile, the PR assistant from before looks to Haru, “fraternizing with the enemy?”

“I can fire you.” Haru hisses in response, eyes narrowing at the boy before looking back to Bakugou as he straightens himself and collects the paper’s before him, “if you’ll excuse me, I need to prepare for my meeting with Ms. Flores.” He moves to leave, hovering by the door as he says, “by the way, I believe Pro Hero Red Riot is heading this way at the moment.” 

Bringing his hands to his face, Bakugou groans, if he had to guess— Kirishima was going to lecture him, again. He finds himself coming to a stand making his way around the couch, he doesn’t bother to meet Kirishima the door since he’s already making his way inside. At the same time, Bakugou is left to watch as the rest of his PR team is exiting his apartment one by one, taking their equipment with them wordlessly. 

And so, in comes Kirishima, a bright smile on his face as he calls out, “hey Bakubro!” Arms spread wide as he greets his friend, coming to wrap his arms around him. Although Bakugou doesn’t return the hug, he allows the physical contact.

“Hey shitty hair.” Comes his response, mumbled out as he is finally released from Kirishima’s grip. “What do you want?”

With a shrug, Kirishima, steps further inside Bakugou’s apartment, “I figured you might wanna talk—”

“Don’t wanna talk.” Bakugou interrupts, narrowing his eyes at Kirishima. 

Nodding slowly, Kirishima offers him a tight lipped smile, a short silence encompassing them before he says, “but she said some intense stuff so I though—”

“No.” 

“I can talk to her?

“Absolutely not.”

With that, Bakugou found himself wondering how this could possibly get worse at this point, of course, his question would soon be answered seeing as things could definitely get worse.

[cactus-joke]

the thing i will never wrap my head around is introducing sylvie as a frankenloki & then giving her absolutely no depth despite her being the key protagonist of season 1... like mike must hate women for the fact that

1) all the tva women of color are sidelined immediately (at least the two w the most prominent & interesting roles/backgrounds) for a white ladies development

2) you can count all the tva lady agents we see onscreen w one hand

3) frankenloki aka sylvie has a bunch of gaps for a character like where’d she get blonde hair dye. if ure hellbent on revenge why are u making stops at wallmart 2 get a box of hair bleach. where’d she get asgardian leather but SPECIFICALLY for her top (she’s wearing baggy pants & combat boots w that ensemble??? which as i say it also sounds like those corny wattpad “put my hair in a messy bun, wore my combat boots” fanfic outfits 😭), why and how did she get the AoA loki horns, she didn’t have them when she was taken. if she hates the loki association why’s she wearing the horns & the color green which is... the biggest target to be perceived as loki

4) if she’s an important part of the self love metaphor romance why does she always make this face “😐🤨🤢😐🤨😐” when loki talks (berating him & betraying him in the end aside ofc!)

5) why do we not know her nexus event? why do we not know why she chose the name sylvie? why does she have no prominent character traits outside of having a vagina? why is she cis? why did she get taken at the tender age of an elementary schooler but not when she was born if her crime was being born a girl?

6) has mike waldron ever met, spoken to, or seen a woman? has he engaged in critical, intelligent conversation with anyone, really?

7) can i be emotionally compensated by disney for simultaneously the most BORING (how do you make.. the god of mischief & tricks... boring is beyond me) and convoluted overstuffed show for wasting my time?

I don't know that Mike hates women, but I do think, based on his interviews and the resulting product he made, that:

1) It was certainly a choice to make the two prominent black female characters slaves to a fascist organization and one essentially a leader of it. A choice I don't think anyone involved in creating this show spent a second to think about.

I don't think they were necessarily sidelined on purpose, however. I just think it's an inevitable by-product of the show's terrible pacing and even worse writing. That scene one between B-15 and Renslayer, a scene I think was ultimately a waste of time, made me think that they probably did want to highlight at least those two characters on their own merit. They failed, of course, in the end, and with the set-up I think the intention or lack of intention doesn't really matter since we get what we get, you know?

It's not really a shinning example of giving your characters of color time and care, either, but I do have to highlight B-15's moment of doubt, a scene I think Wunmi Mosaku absolutely killed (seriously, everyone needs to check out her other work, she is effort and talent personified.).

Besides that, if you ask me, no character in this show has any real development anyway, including Sylvie. It is an uneven display of screen-time because obviously she's a main over everyone else but, like, can it even be said that Sylvie particularly benefited from it? I don't really think so. As you said, she has no depth, she is just an empty girlboss fantasy, and the diversity in general in this show feels empty to me.

2) I didn't really even want more TVA foot soldiers to be women. It wouldn't be a diversity win so much as just more empty pandering and Marvel's typical (military) propaganda fuel.

Anyway, I'd like to highlight some youtube creators of color who make great in-depth videos on this issue:

Khadija Mbowe: Color-blind vs. Identity-conscious casting and examining Hamilton and Malcom & Marie

Town of Tawiah: Performative Diversity and Colorism in Film | Dear White People Review, My Wife & Kids,HTGAWM & More

Cheyenne Lin: GOOD Representation Matters | Colorism and Casting

There's obviously way more, but these videos are a good starting point to expand on this topic from people who know what they're talking about. I put a link to their videos while the link on their names will lead you to their respective channels.

3) Sylvie's whole appearance is bullshit from the get-go. They deliberately used comic book references on her to confuse us and make their dumbshit twist of: oh, see, she actually is a Loki variant!

I remember seeing a post essentially saying whoever thinks Sylvie is a Loki variant with 100% certainty is media illiterate lmao, so I guess it worked on some people.

So, you know, IMO, it doesn't matter that it doesn't make sense for her to wear Loki's signature colors and the iconic AoA head-wear, she just does because fuck you.

Also, "if ure hellbent on revenge why are u making stops at wallmart 2 get a box of hair bleach." lmaooo - she just wanted to be her own person, you know, visually, but only with her hair and nothing else :)

4) Sylvie so very clearly doesn't even like Loki all that much, certainly not as much as he likes her (she is a girlboss after all, "she's got shit to do!"). It would be funny if it wasn't tragic. I do feel bad for Larry from accounting :(

5) I'm guessing we don't know her nexus event because they kinda never bothered to define what it was and they don't care. Maybe Renslayer saying she doesn't remember her nexus event was supposed to be this moment of like cold truth, or an attempt to hurt Sylvie because she knows but won't tell her, or, you know... actually, who cares.

6) I think Mike has spoken to women and I think he's had plenty of intelligent and critical conversations at his level. Which is a relative zero to a generous one. Perhaps two on a good day.

Idk though, jokes aside, his writing on this series is childish and lazy, his view of Loki is boring and reductive, his original script he used for this show is absolute shit, and that's all I can really say for sure.

7) I wish. The show really is boring when it isn't actively infuriating. It still boggles my mind how this mess even happened. Like, I knew the show would be bad, but this bad? Man oh man.