#like you can have conflicting reads on a character

[princess-of-purple-prose]

[ID: A collection of tweets by bobby 🐀 #BENIGN DEVI… @/bobby_speeds that read:

"the System really convinced Shen Qingqiu that the Jade Guanyin token could be used to save his life later, so he held onto it despite wanting to return it, and then when the time finally came to use it, the System withheld it until it was too late to actually save his life

"I know I'm just theorising but like, it's SUCH bullshit that it had to "load" the item. That had literally never happened before, but it just soo conveniently meant that SQQ had no choice but to choose another "scenario pusher"

"It wasn't enough for SQQ to just pull out the token, calm Binghe down and let them talk about their feelings, which by ALL rights should have been what happened, if SQQ and Binghe had just been people in a real world instead of characters in a narrative

"but it just doesn't make for an interesting climax, so it couldn't be allowed to happen. the audience (the in-universe readers of the revised PIDW, but also, like, us) would have found it underwhelming, so who cares how badly it traumatised the people involved??

"The System is just so fucking horrifying when you look past the cutesy emoticons. It acts cheerful and silly all while threatening SQQ with death or punishment and will happily make anyone suffer in the interests of "the narrative"

"I won't ascribe malicious intent to the System. It's an unfeeling entity that exists for no other purpose than to create an interesting story without regard to its characters' lives, but that in itself is way more scary.

"people LOVE watching characters suffer. I love it!! I like happy endings but I NEED an interesting middle. reading it, analysing it, thinking about it. the maigu ridge scene is horrific, but I'm literally deriving entertainment from it right now!! I'm having fun writing this!!

"and I hate the system so much, but what would this story be without it?? can any of us honestly say we'd enjoy this story half as much if SY had woken up in PIDW and lived a peaceful life of spoiling his disciples with no abyss and none of the major conflicts that resulted?

"The System is just the most incredible villain. It's terrifying and uncomfortable but it's us!! it did those things for US!! for our enjoyment as readers!! and we ate it up. we loved it. WE did that to them.

"The Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System (Image of a Tumblr post that says: “Based on my obsession with the concept of The Narrative I think we should invent a new kind of tumblr/twitter discourse where we argue that it's inherently immoral to write fiction because its prevents characters from exercising free will” / “'girl help my characters are unionizing'”)" End ID]

[olderthannetfic]

www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/771823370694213632

You need the say the bit about the way canon treats characters way louder because I really think that the way the character is... framed, I guess? accounts for huge chunks of it.

I remember when the Disk Horse was about Finn vs. Kylo Ren from the Star Wars sequel trilogy and I got called racist for trying to point out that Finn was always framed as the comic relief/unserious by the canon. He has a character arc in the first movie, but his emotions and his trauma and his personality are mostly played for laughs (ha! ha! Black janitor guy is scared because he's a coward! - and him being a janitor is a change that came pretty late, he was originally meant to be the top of his class). OTOH Kylo Ren has the camera linger on his anguished face while sad music plays and he monologues about the moral conflicts that he's facing.

The average viewer/reader - especially in the case of visual media - doesn't really stop watching to form non-prejudiced independent opinions on every character (and really shouldn't if your narrative is well-constructed!), that'd take up too much of their mental bandwidth! They let themselves be guided by how things and people are framed, so of course they'd see Ren as Serious and Tragic and Finn as the funny guy, which is inherently less sexy to most people!

Same thing with F/F: when canon treats its women with any degree of complexity and gives them the sort of character traits that are conductive to blorbofication people are all over it!

My dash's been drowning in Rhaenycent for a year now, and that's a show that arguably sorta botched its female characters in the attempt to make them complex! But it doesn't matter, because they set up all these juicy dynamics and the fans are all over it!

Fans LOVE Claudia from IWTV even though the tragedy of her canonical role is that the guys always sideline her for each other.

I went to the Anora tag after seeing the movie and saw a bunch of Anora x reader fic in between the gifs the same way I did for Feyd Rautha from Dune or any other feral unhinged character fans love imagining themselves having sex with (and then blocked it lol).

Like, my taste in women and men is exactly the same but the large majority of characters that fit it are men, because we just don't get a lot of women who are composed, charming rogues on the outside and crippled traumatized messes on the inside, with a narrative that gives this sufficient weight, and also lets them be feral and unhinged. And I actually prefer minority characters because where I'm from I'm from a minority group myself, but again, most of them don't fit the bill personality-wise or framing-wise.

Fandom's a hobby and it's meant to be fun - I'm not gonna be constantly swimming uphill from what the canon is trying to present to me just because a character shares a demographic category with me. I think this is the case for most people, really.

--

My read on a lot of this is that people are sad about the status quo (fair) and are lying to themselves that the culprits are nearby where they can reach them.

If we confront the fact that the real source is the director or the cinematographer or the studio head, it all feels so much more insurmountable.

Of course, one can opt for niche, indie media, but a lot of people don't want to do that, so they fall back on this shitty coping mechanism of pretending that they can yell at the people around them and effect meaningful change.

[callmearcturus]

valonia47: IMO Dottie taught Ted avoidance and denial as the only allowed coping skills, which is how he ends up in England in the first place: avoiding the conflict and denying how bad his marriage has gotten. In that sense returning to Kansas is Ted breaking out of that and reconnecting with Henry on a regular basis instead of avoiding the inherent reminders of his relationship with his dad

two problems with this take, if you'll forgive my need to make a rebuttal.

ONE: Ted winding up in England because of conflict avoidance and denial is not how I read the situation at all. Hell, I don't think a man can move to another country without knowing things are bad, and every time he brings up Michelle, it's regarding the trouble in their marriage.

also, uh

given the entire fuckery with Dr. Jacob, I don't know if I actually agree at all with that take. Ted winds up in England because a pretty serious betrayal of trust.

this is one of the most interesting things the show does imo. like when Ted first talks about therapy and is dismissive/negative on it, I literally went "ah another otherwise progressive midwestern man who nonetheless doesn't like therapy" because bruh that's a thing for sure

and then ted tells sharon about his history of therapy and I was like "okay that's a little unusual but cmon ted you're better than this"

and then the fucking slap in the face happens and oh my fuck, Ted was right, he was manipulated by a fucking therapist holy shit, like all of his hesitations are entirely justified.

TWO: For Kansas to feel like a success for Ted, a LOT of shit would have needed to be done differently.

a. he needed to make the choice of his own volition, not because his mother pulled That Shit on him as punishment.

b. the show needed to actually show Kansas as living place that has support systems and people Ted loves. WHICH TO BE CLEAR: THE SHOW COULD HAVE DONE. fuck, if you want to read a fic that actually makes Ted moving back to Kansas make sense, I highly recommend Lafayette Goes To America, which I vouch for as a Missouri native is a loving and wonderful depiction of KCMO and why you'd want to live there.

c. why the fuck did they do that creepy fucking musical sting on the final shot of ted in kansas? i watched it with a friend who'd never seen the finale and they fucking gasped at it.

d. and this is a huge one for me is the trick each season with the opening/closing shots.

each season opens and closes on one character in a very deliberate move, like a reminder that you should be focusing on this person and the journey they've been on.

and it's not a necessarily positive journey.

with Rebecca, we watched her through season one transform from a hurt, vengeful, cruel person who was thrilled to ruin the lives of everyone around her if it helped her meet her goals into someone who finally recognized the gravity of their callousness.... but not before her actions led to the team being relegated.

with Nate, we watched him blossom as a tactician and strategist, and he winds up the head coach of West fucking Ham by the end..... but in the process, he loses everyone who supported him and he repeatedly fails to recreate those relationships in S3

with Ted, the show holds me down and kicks me repeatedly in the stomach until i admit i love a good tragedy I MEAN ted is successful, loved, respected, and supported by the people around him, he continues to work on himself in this place that he comes to adapt to and love... and instead of him asking "hey maybe i should review my custody arrangement and ask my son if he'd like to live here with me" he loses ALL OF THAT

there's this moment that makes the pain worse, this little (intentional? unintentional?) jab rebecca gives him. she begged this man to stay, offered to make him the best paid coach in the league, to personally assist in helping his family join him here, and he leaves.

it's a rejection. it's a rejection of richmond as meaningful, as people who love him, as his community and family. it hurts so fucking much.

none of them were worth trying for, ted? not rebecca, who held you tight when you had a panic attack? not trent, who detonated his career after shielding you from a press shitstorm? not roy, who came back to you and fucking quoted Jerry Maguire to your face, choosing to speak your language? fucking hell.

I blame Dottie for this, for how she looks at all the process Ted's made, resents it, and tears him back down. but the refutation of these people and their worth is part of the tragedy.

ANYWAY UH. I RESPECTFULLY DISAGREE. SORRY.

[identityflawed]

an honest, (very) in-depth review on “cerulean eyes for the damaged soul,” chapters 1 and 2

warning: much like a marriage between a 1940s lesbian and a military man in wwii, this review is long and unhappy.

edit: upon getting in a digital squabble over the concern that the author will see this and potentially quit writing forever despite having thousands of fans and lots of good press… i will say very clearly that this is a subjective post. contained within are opinions on a fic i didn’t like. you might disagree with me, and that’s fine. this is not done as a personal attack on the author; i am just sharing my opinion in my own way. if you LIKED this fic with a passion, i would not advise reading this. if you are the author, by some small chance, i also wouldn’t advise reading this unless you’re in the right headspace to engage with my brand of criticism.

i’ll start off by saying i have no ill will towards the author of this story, loveshazel. writing is no easy task, especially when you’re juggling extremely nuanced situations like the ones in arcane and the ones in wwii. i happen to be one of those people who think that when you’re putting your characters into a real-world global tragedy, you should be very thoughtful about how you do it. i haven’t read all 32 chapters of the piece, and i probably won’t read them, either, because the first chapter of any book has to hook me in, not cast me out to sea without a buoy.

the following is a review that i wrote AS i was reading the fic, so certain things i say are later “solved” by other information provided. i put it in quotes because nothing is really solved.

for those who haven’t read it, i’ll give you the basic premise, which is detailed in the tags and the blurb. it’s a wwii au where vi is a US air force pilot and caitlyn is a farmer in the french countryside. it sounds interesting until you think about it.

put simply, this fic is overhyped given it’s quality. this fic is not super well-written, from the characterization to the prose (especially the prose). you can love it if you want to love it, but i can’t count the amount of posts i’ve seen saying this is an amazing piece when i see dialogue with no punctuation and an innately flawed story concept.

“this idea sucks, darling” says caitlyn.

“i’m doing my best to do my best,” says vi.

it seems like the author is trying their best to sound professional and ao3-esque by not using contractions and by over-describing things without actually using new words to describe them. and also (this is definitely more nitpicky) they use actual numbers instead of typing them out, which is like a prose no-no for me if you’re trying to be professional and ao3-esque. it’s like shatter me, without the excuse of insanity.

“…as she tried her best to land her girl [plane] as best she could.”

tried her best… as best she could. i could forgive you if this wasn’t just the first of many situations where the same word or turn of phrase is used within a sentence or two. vi refers to her plane as her “girl” at least 10 times in one scene.

from the moment of her introduction, caitlyn’s features are described as “long.” after finding vi, whom she presumes is a man, she rolls “him” onto his back twice in as many paragraphs.

i’ll take a brief segue to discuss the questionable choice to make caitlyn a farm girl. most of her (if not her entire) character and conflict revolves around the fact that she’s overwhelmingly rich and sheltered to the ways of the world. you take that away and it isn’t caitlyn kiramman (and it isn’t, her name is caitlyn dubois, but you get what i’m saying, right?) it’s later revealed that she married a frenchman and is originally from britain, but her name isn’t recognizable enough to the nazis to imply that she’s of the same tax bracket as she was in canon (which again, is the most important part of her character and her character flaws).

also, caitlyn has a husband in this, whom she seems to appreciate, which makes the situation kind of messy. i understand that, historically, there’s pressure for women to wed up, but you can’t deny that it’s a little weird to have a cheating trope when the husband is away in the army, when the homewrecker is also part of the military. but that’s personal preference, so don’t think too hard about it.

her husband even has an anne frank-style secret room in their winery, conveniently enough. secret rooms to hide jewish refugees are relatively common. this implies her husband is not a nazi sympathizer, which makes me feel even worse for him.

the prose is just incredibly repetitive. i’m not a fan of how many epithets are used, but again, that’s my subjective opinion. there’s a notable amount of blatant info-dumping — which is fine if it’s environmental context for anyone who isn’t super familiar with wwii europe — but a lot of it is convenient justification for certain actions not having to be taken. here’s a few examples in the opening scene alone.

caitlyn has tasked herself with saving this unconscious american pilot from certain death/torture at the hands of the nazis without getting caught. this is a tall order, as it involves dragging an unconscious, grown human from the crash to her farm, covering her tracks, and returning to the crash site as an unsuspecting on-looker. my suspension of disbelief for a story without magic is very low, but even without that… caitlyn manages to do all of that in under ten minutes. her farm is also the 4th closest to the crash, so it’s even less feasible.

i understand caitlyn is intelligent, and maybe the author is attempting to explain her thought process through an overwhelm of information, but covering up tiny plot holes (like how it’ll take nazis x amount of minutes to search exactly 3 farms, which begs the question how she knows they’re gonna go one at a time and not split the work amongst themselves), you miss out on the giant ones. like if she’s so smart and capable as to stow away a whole human being in such a small time frame and is apparently self-assured enough to have a pre-made story ready for the nazis searching the farms, how does she fumble and give away her english maiden name to the nazi interrogators? they’re just asking her name, she shouldn’t be so stressed if she’s daring enough to do what she just did. and the punctuation is a spaced hyphen (“kiramman - dubois”) so it’s unclear if her name is hyphenated or if she genuinely slipped up with 3 whole syllables instead of “kir— dubois”. if it’s the second, it’s plot convenience. if it’s the first, why didn’t the author introduce her as that and/or have the nazi’s refer to her as that after hearing it?

the scene where the nazis are searching caitlyn’s domicile is meant to be stressful, because she’s hiding vi in a secret room in the cellar. but the complete overuse of info-dumping kills the suspense. the author explains things that are already implicitly understood, if not stated before! ex. caitlyn needs to come across as innocent, the nazis are trying to “make her crack,” that they’re threatening her, that she doesn’t want them to find the secret room. show, don’t tell.

it becomes pretty apparent that caitlyn and vi are more “realistic” because they have natural hair colors (caitlyn’s is black and curly, vi’s is light brown). cool, cool. i appreciate that the author makes attempts to change certain things to fit the environment. caitlyn is half-asian, so i’m not sure how that’ll factor into the entire situation here, since she’s not white in 1940s europe in a nazi-controlled portion of france, a time when it wasn’t so great to be anything but white. (the nazis are very polite to her despite this, so maybe she’s just fully white in this, which opens a whole other can of worms).

when the nazi’s finally leave, caitlyn gets her medical supplies and goes to take care of vi, cleaning off her face and realizing that her male pilot is actually a really hot woman with shards of glass in her abdomen. caitlyn has incredible medical knowledge, knowing instinctively that a supposedly-superficial wound could eventually kill vi in several days (because of glass shards). despite this, she decides that she doesn’t need to stitch up vi until she’s conscious. i’m not sure why you would choose to wait on that, since it is still an open wound that you just aggravated by removing the shards which were probably stopping most of the blood from coming out.

fortunately for vi’s life, she wakes up shortly after caitlyn starts to dress her wound (without stitching it, mind you). they exchange a couple sentences, in which caitlyn reveals that she’s trilingual — english, german and french, which is actually very plausible for a european, no hate here — and vi can only speak english (very realistic for us americans, so points to the author on that!).

that is the end of chapter one. initially, i was going to stop it there but i wanted to make sure that some of my claims made in this post aren’t resolved in the next chapter (which would be the most sensible path of things).

the second chapter begins from violet’s POV. she’s in a lot of pain from her stomach wound, but finds caitlyn’s eyes very, very pretty. caitlyn doesn’t want her to fall asleep (she is really determined to make vi stay awake while stitching her wound without anesthesia). vi notes that her wound will get infected if she stays on this dirty cellar floor, which she takes as the reason that caitlyn isn’t letting her sleep (it’s not).

she refers to caitlyn as her saviour (with the u, yes) despite the fact that she has no knowledge of anything about caitlyn. if i was an american fighter pilot who crashed on foreign, nazi-controlled soil and i woke up in a dark, dank room with a woman who hasn’t introduced herself… i’m not seeing her as a savior. i’m worried that she’ll turn me in, if she’s not some prison medic already. the french accent shouldn’t even make her feel safer, because france surrendered to nazi germany 3 years ago! like, hello?

a little history drop for you based on the somewhat vague situation on caitlyn and vi’s ends:

she appears to be in the german-occupied zone of france (northern+western france) in summer 1943 (which is the only thing that is clear). while it’s plausible that she’s somehow in central france because of the eventual case anton in 1942, the fact that she sees the nazis as “familiar” suggests that it’s been a little longer than a year. vi seemed to be flying alone in nazi-controlled airspace when her plane suddenly, inexplicably breaks down (american engineering isn’t great, but in the 1940s it was really fucking good for it’s time. they weren’t called the “arsenal of democracy” for nothing). caitlyn’s husband is in “the military,” which i’m left to assume means the mandatory conscription of the german military, as the northern area of france was intended to be part of the nazi’s new world order.

all that to say that vi shouldn’t trust caitlyn as easily as she does.

but back to the story. caitlyn wants to take vi upstairs so she can get a better look at her injuries, despite the fact that she practically undressed vi and saw all her wounds (and dressed them) already! vi is, of course, very happy with the idea, with no semblance of military training or paranoia, and still no name for the woman who very well may be an enemy. vi also doesn’t care that she’s been undressed by this stranger without her consent, despite the fact that any self-respecting woman of any age would be profoundly concerned about that situation, especially if you’re a part of the military (regardless of whether a woman did it to you or not!). she’s got the serious hots for this woman and none of the fear that you should have, but it’s okay because she has really pretty blue eyes.

she finally notices caitlyn’s french accent and instead of being concerned about being in hostile territory, she wants to hear the story behind it. she even gives caitlyn a nickname to use for her (after introducing herself by her full name), and thinks caitlyn’s name is very pretty. she’s well-versed in etymology and recognizes her name is british. surprise! the name caitlyn is irish gaelic.

vi is given a comfortable bed to lie in and some water to drink, hand-fed (drunk?) to her by caitlyn, even though vi doesn’t actually have any injuries that would keep her from doing it herself. this clashes with the fact that just earlier, she refused to let caitlyn help her walk upstairs with an injury she ACTUALLY has, because she wanted “to show that she was no weakling.” what?

while caitlyn is finally stitching her wound up, vi is thinking about how she’s probably/definitely a woman-lover because she never cared about boys in the same way she did girls. she’s also talking about caitlyn’s hair and how vi is just a tomboy who doesn’t care for makeup or dress-up, and how she really doesn’t want kids but can’t say that because it isn’t commonly-accepted. she’s also a female pilot in wwii, which is arguably LESS commonly accepted than celibacy in the midst of a war, but who cares. in summation, she’s resigned herself to ending up alone, and is apparently expecting to die at age 30.

she realizes that caitlyn is married, which makes her sad. caitlyn explains that she has no clue where her husband is and that it’s just them for now, again spitting in the face of the fact that neither of them should fully trust each other. it is revealed, finally, that caitlyn’s dad was a doctor (pretty similar to the canon situation, so that’s nice), which explains her medical knowledge but not why she decided to delay stitching her wound (if you can’t tell, that tidbit is bothering me).

vi does ask the question i’ve been asking, which is why the hell did caitlyn kiramman marry down? because if she did, she must really love her husband. so… why is she going to cheat? and i say “cheat” because he’s off in the military and probably isn’t coming home any time soon, since i’m still under the impression that he’s been conscripted by nazis.

the next scene takes place the following morning, from caitlyn’s POV. viktor is briefly mentioned as a local physician, with whom she trades milk and vegetables for medical supplies. there is a whole paragraph describing her clothes of the day and another one for her hairstyle. she then gets clothing and a bowl of warm water for vi. vi is very buff and is going to wear caitlyn’s husband’s clothing for now. caitlyn then does farm work, including feeding a young lamb.

here, we learn that she has always desired freedom and traveling the world, which is apparently more likely to happen on a farm in the middle of nowhere than in the rich upper echelons of the british isle. again, WHAT? her husband, george, apparently brought up that having their own land would let them do whatever they wanted, like you can’t already do whatever you want as an incredibly rich heiress in one of the global superpowers of the time. she is not traveling the world from the farm, either (duh), but it seems like the author is trying to set up an opportunity for vi (an actual world traveler) to bond with caitlyn over a “shared” dream. except it isn’t shared, because caitlyn isn’t traveling anywhere.

she then muses over her husband going to war, which he apparently “left” for. that doesn’t sound like he was conscripted or forced to leave, so apparently george is either a nazi or is “illegally” part of the allied forces while his wife is living in nazi territory (great move, george). george also stopped sending her letters 2 years into his tenure as a soldier, and caitlyn realizes she doesn’t give a fuck about that (great move, caitlyn).

her farm work is done, so she makes breakfast for her and vi (and pauline, the dog). vi shows up leaning in the doorway, and caitlyn isn’t happy that she’s up and about while recovering. vi, the girl who had caitlyn tip water into her mouth, says she couldn’t “lie there doing nothing, that’s not in [her] nature.” caitlyn then realizes how good vi looks in her husband’s clothes, “better than her husband ever had.” poor george, dude.

vi introduces herself to pauline, who takes to her very well, but unfortunately pauline only “speaks” french. vi says she needs to learn french so she can talk to pauline (another set-up for fluff?). caitlyn serves the two of them breakfast and apologizes for not making a better meal, to which vi says that it’s the best she’s had in months because army food is shit. which is accurate. nice!

this entire scene could be so cool if not for the fact that vi should be more suspicious of the situation, and shouldn’t assume that anyone’s a sympathizer just because they patched her wound. caitlyn could’ve been keeping her alive to interrogate her, or turn her over for benefits, or some other combination of hostility. but her eyes are very pretty so those ideas can be neglected (if you think i’m repeating the eye bit too much, don’t read the story, because it happens twice as often!).

vi scarfs down her food and caitlyn notices that vi needs a haircut (another setup). vi seems more concerned about the idea of caitlyn kicking her out once she’s recovered than anything else. again, what the fuck? but au contraire! caitlyn thinks that is unsafe for vi if she’s kicked to the curb (it is, good thinking!) and decides to let her stay here until she can get her out of the country. this implies that caitlyn can find a way to get out of nazi-occupied france but just doesn’t want to leave.

caitlyn also seems to know that vi would be good at farm work, and says she needs help on the farm, despite doing it on her own for the past two years without much reluctance (in fact, she seems to enjoy it more on her own, since her husband was apparently a constraint on her freedom).

and despite vi being in the 1940s american military, a time where the propaganda — and patriotism — for america is at an all-time high, she seems to be content to make negative remarks about her people (“i’m not as stupid as most americans”). she’s in the military during the war as a woman, so i understand feeling bitter towards men and maybe her superior officers for the shitty treatment she receives, but she’s an air force PILOT (or is she army? the author mentions both), so there’s no way she hasn’t been positively inundated with pro-american propaganda, or at least holds some respect for her country. the author didn’t do enough research to understand the implications of an american pilot being in foreign territory, so they also probably didn’t realize that vi is RIGHT about americans being stupid (uneducated) because they’re fresh out of the great depression. also why would vi, the zaunite who likes reading books but is probably treated as a moron for most of her life, take jabs at people for being uneducated? it’s a contemporary statement she’s making, one that you’d see on tiktok. one i’d laugh at because it’s accurate now, but it’s not accurate then. no american soldier in their right mind would say that about the people they’re fighting for in 1940s america, you know, before the military kicks them to the curb.

of course, vi agrees to stick around and help out when she can. caitlyn emphasizes that vi can’t be seen outdoors because her neighbors are incredibly nosy (why, we don’t know), and that vi has to hide for unprompted inspections. how they will know when an unexpected inspection is coming, i don’t know, but they’ll “make it work.”

oh, and for bonus info, i went into chapter 3. stopped at the first paragraph, because it states it’s been “several days” since the events of chapter 2, and caitlyn has already discovered how helpful vi is. you know, vi, who is still severely injured and cannot feasibly recover at the pace expected to commit to manual labor such as the kinds found on the farm. and you know, caitlyn, the woman who scolded vi for just standing UP while injured and extolled on how dangerous it is for vi to be outside, decides that vi’s first task will be fixing a fence for hours on the outside. but it’s in a place that the neighbors won’t see, allegedly. can’t you pick an indoor task like maybe cleaning that dirty-ass secret room that vi will probably be hiding in? or a non-physically straining task like cooking breakfast, or bathing pauline?

also, caitlyn, the rich girl from britain who really wanted to travel, has never been overseas, because she’s a woman. (?) caitlyn has more opportunity to travel the world than vi did as an assuredly middle-class (or lower-class) woman from brooklyn, and yet she never did. i was right about the author trying to set something up between vi and caitlyn on this front. i feel miserable.

i’ll conclude with that.

i’m a hater, i know. you don’t have to tell me. i highly doubt you made it through this entire post unless you are a) a fellow hater, or b) trying your best to provide evidence that i’m in the wrong about this fic.

i’m not wrong, and here’s why: it’s my opinion. the reason i spent so little time on the grammar and actual prose and so much time on the set-up of the story is this:

grammar and prose will change with time. inexperienced authors don’t deserve to be shit on extensively for little mistakes. they’re worth mentioning because they’re troublesome to read, but i’m not an asshole who’s going to spend so much time blabbering on about how the dialogue isn’t properly punctuated.

it’s the construct of the story, or rather the lack thereof. the characters aren’t in character, they don’t even look the same, and the author is obsessed with them referring to each other using possessive epithets (her pilot, her savior) so even their NAMES don’t matter at this point. the environment spits in the face of how their characters were founded on where they grew up.

i have a natural dislike for AUs because of this ^ — it is very hard to retain a character’s integrity when you switch out the environment, because a lot of times your environment shapes you. who would you be if you grew up rich instead of poor, or poor instead of rich? if you were in a successful position instead of a dingy, dirty prison? if you were a farmer instead of a cop? if you grew up in a homophobic environment instead of one where you can casually ask if someone is a girl kisser or boy kisser?

at the very least, the author should consider the characters from the show they watched. that’s disregarding the confusion about real-world history, because i can ignore a lot of environmental altering for the sake of the story. but not in world war ii, which is still a contemporary issue (people still deny the holocaust to this day, there are neo-nazis in europe and in america, people still bash france — jokingly, seriously, both or neither — for surrendering in wwii, etc). there’s only so much you can obscure about the atrocities of the war for the sake of romance before it becomes hard to read.

it’s just a shame because there’s so much potential here, but it falls victim to the fact that the author didn’t think things through before writing. i would read the FUCK out of this if it wasn’t caitvi, because caitvi makes no sense here. :(

you could’ve done something great if you just swapped the situations. caitlyn would MAKE SENSE as a hyper-patriotic military pilot with medical training, and vi as a struggling farmer in nazi-occupied france because that tends to the cores of their characters, which are the experiences they’ve had due to privilege or lack thereof. vi IS the kind of person who would marry a man in a shitty financial position (in the middle of nowhere) if it meant she and powder could be safe from nazis and the war, and she’s just unfortunate enough to move to the exact place that hitler targets next. but no, vi is the masculine one who has to be the fighter pilot (who looks like a guy initially) wearing male clothing because she’s so, so muscular, and cait is the feminine one who wears overly-described dresses and aprons with pretty hair, who cooks and cleans.

and the final nail in this coffin:

the fic is tagged as slow burn! this is insta-love. they both think the other one is hot immediately, ignore the fact that they’re in a war and could potentially be enemies (more on vi’s side than caitlyn’s), and immediately adopt a domestic-bliss scenario with virtually no tension in under 5 chapters. this is NOT slow burn, unless you’re talking about slowly burning my time away.

if you enjoyed this fic, i’m glad. if you didn’t, i’m glad. do not try to tell me it gets better, because the fundamental idea of the story is too flawed for me to believe it can improve in ways that matter to me as a writer and as someone who knows a modicum of world history.

so yeah, in short: overhyped and inaccurate.

[1296-very-good-year]

Thank you! I've been waiting for dissent on this. And I won't even call you stupid :)

My opinion here was not kneejerk. This season has gotten more rotten the more I think about it (which has been A LOT)

No I think Season 2 did a lot of needless backflipping to avoid discussing class conflict - that was the heart of Season 1 - in exchange for magic is bad, and forgiveness... or whatever.

That Piltover's request for help was lopsided is not the problem. The problem was the onus to do the right thing was put on Zaun. NOT Piltover. There were zero apologies or repercussions for the martial law and oppression.

Viktor used the Hexcore to cure his terminal disease that was killing him. Not some nebulous "weakness" in himself or humanity.

Jayce's actions were either all part of a master plan he concocted offscreen with future Viktor, or a series of dumbass decisions that led directly to everything he was trying to prevent, and only Ekko coming in last second saved the day. There is no inbetween here. Whatever you want to think is right, is right, because the show works overtime to hide his thoughts from the audience for that nonsense mageViktor twist at the end.

I think you need to reread my point about Viktor saving baby Jayce. It is an UN ambiguous RETCON.

You can read a million other posts about Vi's lack of character arc. Who does she choose, between Cait and Jinx, by the way? Because the show takes that choice away from her by removing Jinx.

Vander's first death had infinitely more meaning than him coming back to life over and over.

Isha was not a character foil to Jinx. She had no character at all, aside from wanting Jinx to be a rebel. Why did she want Jinx to rebel? Who was she? Did she have a deep hatred for Piltover's oppression? Who knows.

Love you assuming that because I wanted Jinx to have an interesting, morally dubious character arc, that I hate mentally ill people recovering.

Caitlyn literally became leader under martial law. She was a dictator. That is not an interpretation. She lost an eye in a fight with Ambessa, not as a consequence for oppressing Zaun.

Viktor didn't need to tell Ambessa his plan. It was OBVIOUS. He was speaking through the voice boxes of all of his collapsed robot followers, saying they were "all one". Would YOU give someone like that everything they wanted? Hypocrisy is fine in a character, but did anyone call her out on it? Make her defend herself? Nah. If we don't bring it up, maybe the audience won't think about it.

Turning Silco and Vander's decisions to adopt Vi and Powder from previously clear, ideological CHARACTER DEFINING choices into them just fulfilling a promise to their dead mom, is lame as hell and not needed. Full stop disagree with you that Silco knew Vi in Season 1. He literally says he regrets that they "never had a chance to speak".

Explaining Mel's motivation does not address the criticism that it was rushed as hell, or that her magic is - for some reason - the only example of good, safe magic. Meanwhile Viktor and Jayce have to kill themselves to make up for inventing and using Hextech. Because they weren't BORN with it, so it's naturally bad.

Ekko didn't actually make up with Jinx in episode 7. He met Powder from an alternate universe. If the showrunners thought that would be a redundant, then maybe they shouldn't have wasted so much of Ekko's time in an alternate universe with a brand new character.

For ppl who liked Arcane season 2, is the honeymoon over yet?

Can we agree that S1 and S2 are completely different shows?

That none of the themes carried over between them?

That Piltover did nothing to earn Zaun coming to their rescue in the final battle?

That Viktor's "cure all weakness" shit came out of nowhere?

That understanding any of Jayce's actions post-talking to mageViktor requires a PhD in eyebrow twitches and nonsense?

That Viktor saving baby Jayce was an unambiguous retcon?

That Vi was just a cardboard cutout that Jinx and Caitlyn wrestled over?

That Vander lived and died at least 2 times too many?

That Isha was just a cute pet for Jinx to monologue at?

That Jinx turned from unhinged terrorist to a defanged, quirky jokester?

That Caitlyn's blink and you'll miss it dictator arc changed nothing and there were zero repercussions for it?

That Ambessa became a hypocritical moron whose anti-mage sentiment ate shit and died when she teamed up with robot mage Viktor, who didn't even PRETEND he wasnt going to hivemind her along with everyone else?

That Silco being close to Powder and Vi's mom, knowing them since they were born, only serves to weaken his relationship with Jinx?

That Mel went from a morally complex, savvy politician into a heroic battle mage, (in like 5 mins of screentime) while all other kinds of magic + Hextech were evil and corrupting and had to be destroyed?

That Ekko convinces Jinx that he went to an alternate reality and fell in love with her and she shouldnt kill herself and to become a revolutionary hero(?) OFF SCREEN?

IS THE HONEYMOON OVER YET?

[arcane-ish]

Some thoughts on love, changing the world, co-dependency and commander Caitlyn

I watched this youtube video, “Understanding Vi”. I think it makes a pretty good case for why Vi falls for Caitlyn and what the appeal, the draw of the relationship is for her.

Looking at some of the other vids on the channel, I got the impression that there is focus a bit on ships that would actually be working and healthy in a real life way, couples whose personalities and goals and stage in life are a good match.

It made me look at CaitVi a bit under that light, and also what Amanda might have been thinking when she forged them.

I’m personally a big subscriber to the whole “shipping something doesn’t mean that the characters are perfect or that the relationship is perfect just that you think there’s a good story there”. And I vibe with that a lot. I can want to see characters interacting or just what the interactions would tell me about a character I like, even if I think the relationships might end in breakup or death and murder eventually. At the same time, not everybody ships like that or ships like that all the time.

It can be a particular type of comfort ship to look at your ship and just feel like things will be alright for them. That no matter what happens they’ll support each other and they’ll still be together when they are old and gray. And for that you do have to write the characters as just being very stable with each other.

[speaking of which, maybe that’s just the Zaundads shipper in me, I have seen quite a bit of hot CaitVi art of course and quite a bit of CaitVi if they met as kids, but are there any good arts of them growing old together/spending their life together? I know League means they will forever be frozen like that, but I think for a bit them with the first traces of gray hair could be lovely, especially if as part of a chain of arts with them also being younger]

I think CaitVi can work like that, two people who genuinely like each other, who want to make it work and who overall have enough self discipline that they can make it work despite any conflicts that might rise up.

Looking at the plot, I do feel like CaitVi got shafted a little bit in season 2, for my tastes, my priorities, because if you look around, it feels like with most of the other ships they have a measurable effect on the plot. Zaundad reuniting is the reason why the AU is like that according to the writer’s statements, Ekko stops Jinx’s suicide attempt, Jayce talks Viktor down from destroying the world, timetravel Viktor is the reason that Jayce became interested in magic.

And no, I’m not saying that CaitVi has no effect on the plot. In season 1 it is very clear, Caitlyn is Vi’s “bridge” to Piltover, their connection is why Vi and Caitlyn are standing in front of the council trying to make a case for Zaun, their connection is also the reason for a lot of conflict and misunderstandings between Vi and Jinx.

And even in season 2, her love for Cait is clearly the reason why Vi joins up with the enforcers or why she lets herself be handed over to Ambessa.

But now we get to the actual meat of what I want to talk about. I know there are a lot of jokes about “Vi calls Cait cupcake and fascism leaves Cait’s body”. And here it goes: I don’t think that that’s true because Cait was pretty half-hearted about fascism anyway.

And this is not to say Caitlyn is not to blame for the things she did as Commander Caitlyn or before. Heck, especially if you knew on some level that it was wrong makes it extra questionable in its own way. But that’s just genuinely how I read Caitlyn as a character. From her point of view there two big candidates for “for love” decisions:

turning on Ambessa

letting Jinx go

But both of these to me seem like they are in general alignment with what Caitlyn is feeling in this situation anyway. Which doesn’t mean that Vi isn’t a factor in the mix of Caitlyn’s motivations. But that she isn’t the only one and that I can picture worlds where Caitlyn makes roughly the same choices even if Vi wasn’t around.

Caitlyn doesn’t fight to become commander. It gets offered to her without any pushing on her side, it basically falls into her lap. We skip forward in time and she is already doubting that it’s a great idea in her scene with Maddie. I feel like her doubts grow in the scene with Singed. IMO Caitlyn was (1) never that gung-ho for commandering from an ideological point of view, she was willing to do it and ignore her own doubts for the big goal of “catching Jinx”. And yes maybe she was curious about Ambessa. (2) she was already out with half a foot when she meets Vi again and Vi gives her the opportunity to jump ship.

Similarly, letting Jinx go, I feel like Caitlyn understands that she needs to let go of her hate. That’s what her scene with Jinx is about. Maybe in a world without Vi Caitlyn wouldn’t have been able to bring herself to the point of actively letting Jinx go/unleashing her on the world again even as she understands that she needs to let go of Jinx/her hate for Jinx. But I think she at least heavily would have thought about it.

I think from a ship point of view? You want your ship to be powerful, you want it to have a ripple effect on the plot, you want it to shape the world. But from a relationship point of view? It’s probably better and saner if the people involved are put together enough that they can fix themselves before hooking up and are not co-dependent on each other for not going evil or not offing themselves.

From a relationship point of view, it’s probably better that Caitlyn doesn’t need Vi to develop doubts about Ambessa and that Vi doesn’t need Caitlyn to pull her out of her self destructive spiral from the beginning of s2a2. Because if they have the strength to pull themselves out of their dark places it makes them more ready to have a healthy and sane relationship and choose each other because this is what they want.

There’s a romantic appeal to co-dependent characters who absolutely need each other, but from a relationship POV? It’s probably better to … not be like that. That Vi and Cait do have things in their lives and parts of their personality they want to explore before they return to each other.

(that said, I do hope CaitVi fandom is full of “Commander Cait can’t live without Vi and decides to sneak into Zaun to watch Vi fight undercover, after having seen the posters, or just having heard the reputation, or runs into her accidentally while doing a raid on the club. Because while from an intellectual point of view I totally get why it’s probably better that Vi pulls herself out of her hole, for my shipper tastes, yeah I totally want Cait to see Vi at her lowest and it gals me that in canon Jinx is sneaking into Vi’s fights to check on her and not Cait)

[alpaca-clouds]

A Rant about Engaging with Themes

When the actual trailer for Castlevania Nocturne S2 was released a few weeks back, a few people were surprised about Drolta being back. And those who have been in contact with me during the last year know, that I have been harping on about it: “Drolta is actually not dead. Drolta will come back in some way.”

And at least two people have asked me so far: “Why were you so sure?” And the answer is relatively simple: “Themes. And the whole thing about Chekov’s Gun.”

But you know, this is a topic that I saw in a lot of fandoms. Because in those fandoms people were surprised – and angry – about endings, while I saw those endings coming several seasons away. And I think it is worth talking about it. So, yes, this is going to be a little essay about engaging with themes in media.

The thing is, that I do not want to go harping on the “media literacy crisis”. Because I do not think the issue is that people cannot understand this – it is just that they often do not really engage with themes and the fact that creative people behind media are trying to say something with the media. Partly, maybe, because a lot of media does not get to. I mean, a lot of the Marvel movies recently do not have a whole lot to say. I doubt because the writers all had nothing to say, but because the brand does not want them to say anything about it.

But let’s get back to Drolta. Because here is the thing: Castlevania Nocturne does has something to say. I kinda hoped for it before we had more information on the show – but yes, Nocturne is very much about society, hierarchies and colonialism.

Here is the thing: I love the original four seasons Castlevania, but in terms of theming they are all over the place. There are absolutely some themes about forgiveness, about personhood, about questioning narratives, and about healing and coming to terms with abuse. But it is really all over the place and not quite as concise about that – not in the same way as Nocturne is. Nocturne is quite pointed about it.

Nocturne is about how colonialism and colonial exploitation, but also class exploitation are like vampirism. Colonialism is vampiric – not the vampires are.

And the big difference to the first four seasons of Castlevania are mainly not as succinct in terms of themes, because the different stories kinda have different themes. The different characters are connected to different themes. While in Nocturne all characters are connected to this main theme in one way or another.

It is of course most noticeable in terms of the characters directly affected by colonialism: Annette, Edouard, Olrox. It is also quite clear in regards of some of the bad guys. Erszebeth is a colonizer. So are the vampires actually killed in season 1.

But Drolta is interesting in this regard. Because inherent to her is a contradiction in terms of this theme. She aligns herself with Erszebeth – the colonizer – while her skin color aligns her with the colonized. In fact, the little we know about her does imply a lot in that regard. Because Drolta says herself she was a priestess of Sekmet. And Erszebeth has drunken from Sekmet, which in this regard can easily be read as a colonizer using the colonized religion against them.

However: This conflict inherent to Drolta’s character has not played out in one way or another. It is basically a sort of Chekov’s Gun – and it has not yet gone off. One way or another, Drolta needs to fall into the place in terms of how she relates to the main theme of the show, and because she did not really engage in that metaphorical dialogue, I was fairly certain that she was not dead.

Because here is the thing: Katie Silva is a darn good character designer, who is really good telling you a lot about the characters by the design. And she would not just make her Black just because it makes for an amazing design (though it does). And from the perspective of the writers there is just so much unused storytelling potential in Drolta.

I am not sure on what side Drolta is ultimately landing on. But I am fairly certain that before Drolta is killed for good, we will learn how she was involved in getting Erszebeth Sekmet’s blood, and how exactly Drolta herself relates to colonialism.

I am not saying it is impossible for her to be the sort of character who tries to align herself with the colonizer in the hope to get power for themselves. Because those people have existed in real history. However, she definitely needs to relate herself to the theme before she can be killed for good. Because otherwise her narrative potential has not been used – and I do trust the writers here enough to know they will at least try to use all the narrative potential. I am not sure whether or not Netflix will get in the way of that (for example by not ordering more seasons or similar bullshit), but I am fairly certain that at least the writers have a clear idea where they want Drolta to fall in terms of the theme.

So, this is the point where I pivot and talk about the two other fandoms, where this lack of engaging with the themes really annoyed the living heck out of me. One fandom I interacted with a lot at the time the show aired – while the other fandom I just watched from outside, but went later to confirm that the anger about the ending was really about a lack of the fandom at large not engaging with the themes. And fun fact: Both shows have a central theme about colonialism, just like Nocturne. Just coming at the theme from very different angles.

The shows are Steven Universe and Star vs the Forces of Evil. Steven Universe is the fandom I interacted with a good bit while the show was airing, while SvsFoE was a fandom where I mainly enjoyed the show and just saw the entire anger happen in the end with a lot of confusion.

But let me talk Steven Universe first.

Spoilers for both shows, obviously.

Because I was one of the first “Rose is Pink Diamond” Truthers in that fandom. Literally, the first time we heard about the Diamonds I instantly went: “Rose was a Diamond”. Before we even knew for sure there was a Pink Diamond. And when we saw the reliefs of the Diamonds – but not the one of Pink Diamond – it became even more clear to me.

And yet, big parts of the fandom at the time were calling the Truthers crazy.

Of course, it is now a few years since the show ended. And we all know that the Truthers were right about it.

However, I do remember during the last season. The further it went ahead without confirming that the theory was true, the more certain the Nay-Sayers became in their Nay-Saying, while I became even more certain about the theory being true.

Why was that?

Well, the Nay-Sayers obviously could not imagine how to pull off that twist in a satisfying way and resolve the plot within the fairly few episodes left. Meanwhile I saw the plot and realized, that the only way to resolve the plot while sticking to the themes of the show would be by having Rose – and hence Steven – be Pink Diamond.

To this day, a certain part of that fandom is still very angry about the Diamonds being redeemed. And to that part of the fandom I can only say: “Have you watched the show?” Because the show was very unsubtle about the fact that its main theme was forgiveness and redemption. It was about giving people second chances and talking about issues, rather than using violence. That was always the mission statement. It was about empathy.

And this was why I was so certain that Rose and Steven had to be Pink Diamond. Because I knew from the very beginning that they would not kill the Diamonds. But I also knew that the chance of them resolving that plot within the themes in a satisfying way would not be possible, if Steven was not to gain a certain privilege – like being a Diamond – to put him into a situation where the Diamonds would even so much as listen to him. Hence: Rose had to be Pink Diamond. Because otherwise the plot could not be ended in a way that fit with the themes.

(And yes, I was so fucking smug about it when the episode aired, that confirmed it.)

So, now let me talk about the fandom with the ending that is even more controversial than the ending of Steven Universe: Star vs the Forces of Evil.

Or how I call it: “Yeah, no shit are they gonna destroy magic. Magic in this was a metaphor for systemic privilege and the point of the show was that you can not brute force civil rights without giving up your own god damn privilege! Holy hell, this show was not even subtle about it!” (Yes, I do have some anger about this. Because… I have seen and read too many bad takes about the ending.)

Now, mind you. One thing you need to know about me: One of the historic topics I am kinda hyperfixating on is colonialism. So, when I loved the first season of this show and came to my friend group saying: “I think this is about colonialism.” They went: “With you everything is about colonialism.”

But then season 2 came and made it quite obvious. Indeed, this show is about colonialism and racism, and about how colonialism gives the colonial people privilege.

Now, let me at this point say it clearly: It is absolutely fine to have mixed feelings on how this was executed. Specifically with the show making indigenous people “monsters”. Good monsters, yes, but monsters never the less. I get what the makers were getting at – saying something about how a big part of colonialism was also the dehumanization of people – but I absolutely can agree that it could have probably been handled a bit better.

And yes, I also think that the last season – like so many last seasons in this modern day and age – was very rushed at parts, making some plot points not hit as well was they might have gotten to hit with a different pacing.

However, I did appreciate a lot of the things this show had to say about colonialism. Both with relating colonialism to the entire sexuality/gender thing, and also with being very clear on one thing: Just because you change the laws, does make discrimination go away. That is something I so rarely see being brought up in media – let alone media made by white people. But this show was spot on. We see in the later part of this show a lot of Star and Eclipsa try to brute force discrimination and racism to go away. And it just does not work. Because no law can make the perception of people that they are better than the “monsters” go away. All it does is create unrest among the people, as they do not understand the law changes, despise the new rulers for the privilege they hold over them. “Those up there, they don’t get it,” they say. And of course, yeah, people are pissed if you throw them out of their homes, even if it absolutely is the right thing to do, because they literally stole that home from someone else. But that does not change the fact that now they are homeless. And rather than make the racism go away, it just digs deeper trenches and it is a fucking complicated situation. And I loved that the show decided to actually go to that place.

And this is where magic comes in.

Because here is the thing: This show telegraphed early on that in fact magic is not a good thing. Magic in general was here a shorthand for power that could easily corrupt – and very specifically for a certain type of privilege. And yes, I read a few blogs and saw two or three videos about people also complaining of how stupid the way was, that magic got actually explained in this. Because it felt random.

But that is the thing: That was the point. It is random. Power is random. Privilege is very random. Like, sure, I can tell you from an anthropological and historical perspective, why the people that hold privilege in modern society hold privilege. But in the end it boils down to: it is completely random. History could have gone different in so many places and things would have gone different. There is no actual logical reason for most of it. And especially racism is just a completely stupid ideology, because it assigns value to people based on completely superficial points.

And that is why magic in this show had this very silly, random origin story.

And it is also why in the end magic had to be destroyed. Because magic is the power. Magic is the privilege. And you cannot use privilege to destroy the same privilege top-down. Because for that you have to use it – and the only way you can get rid of it is give it up.

Yes, mind you, you do not have to agree with this thesis. Among the “XY studies” this topic about destroying privilege top-down or bottom-up is something that gets discussed a lot. And not everyone is on the same page. But the thesis this show has is a valid one to have – and the ending all in all was about giving up privilege.

And that, in short, is, why I am very frustrated with people hating on the ending. I am sorry, people found it not narratively fulfilling. But I can tell you: Thematically it was spot-on.

And look, I know at times I sound like a broken record: “Engage with the themes. Please engage with the themes.” Those of you, who read any of my blogs about the punkpunk genre, have read me complain about this a thousand times over. But it is really something that to me is very important, even if it makes me sound like some English literature class teacher. Still, themes are important. Or they should be.

No, not every story out there has a heavy focus on themes. I mean, as I said at the start of this rather long blog post: The original Castlevania show had themes, yes, but it was not fully constructed around them. And again, most of the movies in the MCU for example do not have a lot going on in terms of themes. Some try to have. The Guardians movies and the Black Panther movies somewhat have. So had Eternals. But a lot of the other stuff did not have a lot of thematic layering going on. And that is fine. At times a blue curtain indeed is just a blue curtain because the author liked the color blue, or in case of a movie, because the set decorators had still some blue fabric lying around. That is fine.

But there is quite a lot of media, that does have themes and is trying to say something. No, not all of it is successful in saying the thing it is trying to say, but a lot of stuff is at least trying to say something.

If you have been following this blog at least a few weeks you will know, that I am currently very in love with what James Gunn is doing with the DCU. But times I am wondering: “Is he maybe to heavy handed about the message?” But then I am looking over to how some people misinterpreted The Boys on Amazon Prime – a show that was really not subtle about those themes – and I am thinking to myself: “Yeah, actually, they should probably make more episodes about how fun it is to kill Nazis. Just to make sure everyone has gotten at least that message. You know. The one of us not liking Nazis.”

[sskk-manifesto]

Bungou Stray Dogs: Dead Apple and how “ability users” (opposite to “normal people”) learning to accept themselves through the acceptance of their own abilities is a queer metaphor of acceptance of own's sexual orientation and gender: an essay by me

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

I've been thinking about how Vash always seems to be hungry. Or at least, that he's shown eating quite often in the manga. Happily having his salmon sandwiches. Eating an entire box of donuts in the side car. Knowing the conversion rate of bullets to pizza. Seeing a flower and immediately wondering if it's edible. Pondering his life over breakfast. It's a really cute little character detail about him - he likes food.

But then I kind of started to think about the angel arm and its specific brand of destruction. How there were no bodies to be recovered. Nothing but a crater left of July, left on the Fifth Moon. It's all been incinerated. Devoured, even. Tristamp takes it even a step further and makes the power something akin to a black hole - a yawning drain; a constant destructive hunger.

Vash is clearly terrified of this potential for destruction, and for very good reason. But it's not separate from him as some kind of "power he can't control" - it's his arm. It's literally his arm. It is him. Vash is scared of himself, scared of losing control. He does what he can to repress it, even subconsciously (the gaps in his memory whenever it activates). He can't control it in the moment, so he takes steps to preemptively push it down, to avoid the use of his abilities entirely, to hide himself away.

I talked a bit in a previous post about how there are probably several interrelated reasons for Vash's chronically avoidant behaviour, but I'd like to throw one more into the ring and suggest that it's not just a matter of not deserving to want things, but maybe also that he's afraid of wanting. That if he allows himself to even think about what he wants personally that he'll want too much, take too much, and that the only cure in his mind for this is to give and give repeatedly.

I wonder how starved he is for love. Vash loves hard, after all. Once he loves (and I’m not talking about the broad, distant love/compassion he has in general), for better or worse, he carries them around with him forever, long after they've passed. Does he feel like it'd be selfish to admit this kind of want? His love isn't really a passive thing after all - it's the drive at his very core; a mournful inferno he is just barely suppressing. Does he remember how to love in a way that doesn't consume him entirely?

Is that part of the reason he checks out at signs of intimacy? Diverts gifts towards others? Tends to accept kind gestures only when under an assumed name? Intentionally starves himself in Tristamp? Runs and runs and runs? Is he afraid he won't be able to stop hungering? That allowing himself to want means his want will become insatiable?

I just have to wonder how much of his avoidance of connection is being scared that he will cause more destruction (to them? or to him?) by trying to take far too much into his hands than he ever caused by turning his back and running.

...of course I may just be entirely deranged here sorry.

[finncakes]

:/

[jasontoddenthusiastt]

I think fans want Jason to be a good person or be becoming one. To have a character that is well meaning and compassionate but decided murder is ok and to stand against main heroes who’s beliefs and actions go against the people he cares about and wants in his life. It’s confusing for people. People want their fav characters to be happy. But Jason can’t have his family’s support and follow his moral code. He’s cares about people and Gotham, and he’s an asshole who kills. It’s messy. It’s not black and white. I don’t even think Jason cares about being a good person or in the right anymore. I think he cares about what will save the most people instead.

Oh my goodness gracious I’ve been bamboozled

Batman’s definition of Good is not synonymous with absolute good/right no matter how much dc insists it is. Torture, battery/assault, surveillance, those are all condemnable actions too. I won’t get into the exhausting and frankly dumb debate of comic book morality wrt killing because I’ve already reblogged plenty of posts from other people who explained my thoughts on the matter far better than I ever have the patience to sit down and articulate. I also just think the notion that there’s something to be done about fictional characters who kill nazis and senseless murderers is stupid. Jason’s point is that the “main” heroes’ sanitized definition of right has its unaddressed holes and flaws which ultimately result in more preventable fatalities, and that he’ll work to correct those missing spots.

He doesn’t not care about doing what’s right. What he doesn’t care about (at least during his Winick characterization) is whether Batman thinks he’s right or wrong, because he sees the flaws in Batman’s methodology (and since he has a mind of his own). Batman’s methods alone cannot address Arkham’s revolving door and the rogues that come and go through those doors who have no intention (or capability from the doylist pov) of ever changing or undergoing redemption. Jason knows that he’s minimizing the number of preventable deaths by killing his targets, typically Characters Who Simply Do Fucked Up Shit Just Because, Why The Fuck Not?

Secondly, Jason is compassionate … to a fault. That was his fatal flaw. If he wasn’t so hell-bent on saving his potential birth mother he just met from that bomb despite everything she did to him prior, he could have protected himself instead, however slim his odds of survival were. What about his relationship with his other parents? He was a caregiver during his early childhood years for Catherine, until her death. Even mature adults who are financially stable find being a caregiver to a dying parent to be extremely burdensome on their bodies and minds, but he never complained about it or resented Catherine for being unable to care for him. Despite how none of his parents have really been what he needed them to be, he doesn’t blame them for their failings, and even continues to think highly of them (Bruce included).

And post-death? Enter Lost Days. Despite being dead set on plotting his revenge on Bruce, he constantly sidelines this in order to save other victims who are helpless like he once was. His own anger, trauma, and mission don’t remain his priority. (Sound familiar? Something something my own trauma above my son’s, mission above all else, etc.). Why would he waste precious time and risk his own life to do this if he wasn’t empathetic towards these victims or didn’t care about doing the right thing. He is simultaneously horribly traumatized and full of rage, and also incapable of ignoring what’s happening to victims around him (even as he claims that it’s indeed not his priority). And in that same vein, the entire premise of his rebirth outlaws run was that he doesn’t care if the public views him as a villain, an outlaw, so long as he can protect Gotham. And anyway where is this portrayal of him not caring about being in the right anymore. Almost every modern Jason story is about him grappling with where he stands with Bruce/Batman. During the early 2000s was probably the last time he did not care (hello, tentatodd??).

Jason has very evidently been portrayed as a kind and compassionate character. He is also simultaneously a calculated killer who doesn’t hesitate to kill when he deems necessary, and does so without remorse. It’s called being a Complex Character With An Edge™ that as you said, people so often claim to love. However when he fulfills that latter part, that seems to upset people because “killing bad”, and they then try to shave off and round out all his edges and claim he shouldn’t be that angry. In that case I guess you should just stick to liking traditional one-dimensional characters instead of claiming to like Jason but then encouraging his character assassination attempt by dc. Lol.

Lastly, who said anything about the batfam making Jason happy? Just because he’s written nowadays to want acceptance from Bruce (a shoddy attempt at forcing a non-existent nuclear batfamily), doesn’t mean that it’s a sound decision or that it does his character justice. I certainly don’t empathize with the idea that Jason needs the family’s approval or acceptance to be happy. (And anyway he has enough outlets for angst and pain aside from the batfam hello explore his other sources of trauma and do more deep dives into how he thinks when he’s alone). I don’t want them to magically make up and become one big happy family. This is not disney Lol. Besides, there are plenty of stories from dc that have that type of “wholesome” (hate that word utilization) characterization for Jason (Li’l Gotham, Tiny Titans, wfa, and even new stuff like the brave and the bold mini) and that is sufficient imo. Jason fans who are invested in the character deserve accurate, nuanced characterization and well-written stories, whether they be from his robin days (e.g., Batman: The Cult) or as red hood.

[silverwhittlingknife]

i have a special place in my heart for "show don't tell" storytelling, especially in comic books. comics are a visual medium!

[godsfavoritescientist]

Building off of what I wrote in my fic "Sparks," I'm really compelled by the idea of Ford genuinely no longer being interested in sailing around in a boat with Stan by the time they were seniors in high school.

I like the idea of it not being just a symptom of the resentment that had been building between them, nor it being a dream of Ford's that only paled in comparison to west coast tech, but it being a genuine loss of interest on Ford's end. I think it complicates things even further in some really juicy ways.

Like, imagine going through high school slowly losing more and more interest in the dream you've shared with your twin and only friend ever since you were little kids. How do you break it to him? How do you explain it to him without making it sound like a rejection of him? Without it making him hate you?

How do you explain it without it feeling like a spit in the face to all the hard work he's put into a plan that started out as a way of him comforting you by telling you "it doesn't matter what people say about you, you're going to be an adventurer who sails away into the sunset and never has to hear their mockery ever again, and there will be babes and treasure and heroism, and then they'll all see how cool you really are!"

And all through high school you think to yourself, "he's going to move on to more realistic dreams any day now, and then I won't have to say anything about it!" But no matter how many times you mention something else he could do with his life that he seems interested in, or bring up the challenging logistics of traveling around long-term in a boat, he sounds just as committed to the childhood dream as ever, and completely oblivious to how apprehensive you sound.

So resentment grows, little by little. Because that's easier than confronting the soul-crushing levels of guilt that are building up inside of you, every time you don't take an opportunity to tell him you don't want to do the plan anymore. You don't have a single person in your life who modeled how to have difficult conversations for you. As far as you know, having this conversation with Stan would crush him into tiny little pieces and then he would hate you forever, and you can't stand the idea of losing the only friend you've ever had.

So tensions grow. A lack of interest turns into a bitter resentment that, if you were really being honest with yourself, is directed more at yourself than it is at Stan.

And then the falling-out happens, and it seems like you were proven right. Stan hates you now, and he's never going to forgive you for giving up on his dream. But two can play that game, so you try to hate him too. Because if you hate him too, then maybe it won't hurt as much that he never came back. That he never even turned up at school, or by the boat, or in through your bedroom window in the middle of the night. He knows what dad's like, and how he says impulsive exaggerated things when he's angry, and haven't you both dealt with his harsh words countless times before and been able to dust yourselves off and joke about it later? So why isn't he back at home, joking with you about how absurd your dad acted that night, being impossible and belligerent about ruining your dream, but at least now you're even, because you've ruined his dream too.

-

And now imagine you find out he risked the lives of everyone in existence to bring you back, right after you had accepted your fate was to die killing Bill. It would be terrifying and confusing and infuriating. If he cared so much, why didn't he do something to reconnect with you sooner? Why did he ignore you in favor of trying to make it big without you? Why didn't he take the infinitely safer and simpler action of reaching out to you without you having to track down his address and send a desperate plea for help? You were convinced that he didn't care enough to bother with you unless you had an important enough reason for him to come. But even then, he thought your plans were stupid. He didn't want anything to do with you, not even with the world at stake.

Did he save your life out of guilt? Does he pity you that much? It doesn't add up with what he did in the decade leading up to shoving you into the portal. And the dissonance between the version of him in your head that hates you, and the man who held out his arms to welcome you back to your home dimension, is so strong that you feel like you're being lied to again, like you're back in the depths of gaslighting and manipulation that Bill put you through, even though there's no way that's what Stan is trying to do... right? You can't figure it out, so you run away from it. You don't want to know the answer to whether or not Stan hates you, because you don't know which answer would hurt more, so you try to make him hate you more than ever, because at least then you would know for sure how he feels.

And in the end, after he sacrifices his memories for you, and for the world, things seem clearer. The layers upon layers of confusion and anger and hurt seem to have washed away like drawings in the sand, leaving behind the simple truth: that you two had an argument, and didn't move past it for forty years, and despite everything you put each other through, you both still want to re-connect.

So you sail away in a boat together.

And at first, it's wonderful. It's exactly what you want. It feels like an apology to Stan, and a thank-you for saving the world, and a once-in-a-lifetime chance to heal the rift between you two, and it's good to be back on earth, and you wonder why you ever doubted the dream you two once had.

But then, after the first long journey you spend on the sea together, when you get back home to dry land, Stan is already talking about planning your next adventure out on the open sea. He recaps every adventure you had on the first trip, over and over again, and he wants to chat with you all through the morning and long into the night, and you don't have the words to explain to yourself that you don't have enough social battery for this, and suddenly you're slipping back into the horrifyingly familiar feeling of Stan being overbearing and needing space from him and how could you think that? How could you think that about him after everything he's done for you and everything he's forgiven you for? But the longer this goes on, the more you realize that you still don't want to spend the rest of your life sailing around with Stan. It's great fun in moderation, but the idea of your whole life revolving around Stan and going on adventures with Stan and being in a boat with Stan with no time to be by yourself thinking about your own things and figuring out your own dreams makes your skin crawl with a claustrophobic kind of panic that you still don't know how to put into words forty years after the first time this feeling grabbed you by the throat and ruined your friendship with Stanley.

But the first time this happened, it nearly ruined his life forever. You can't let yourself feel this. You don't feel this. You're happy to spend the rest of your life fulfilling Stan's lifelong dream, and making up for the time you crushed his dream, and sure, maybe he crushed your dream once too, and maybe it would be nice for him to support your dreams like you're now doing for him, but you can't say that. He saved the universe, and it would be horrible and ungrateful and cruel for you to try to voice these feelings, especially when you don't know how to voice your feelings without it making other people feel like you twisted a knife into their gut. So you try to pretend the feeling isn't there.

You go out on a boat with Stan again. You planned out another incredible journey together, and this should be fun, and you should be happy about this, but the unspoken feeling you shoved as far down in yourself as it could possibly go is eating you alive. The worst part? Stan is starting to notice. You have never been good at hiding your emotions. The trick to it has always been to convince yourself you don't feel it at all, and not think about it, and that has always worked like a charm. But whenever the emotion claws its way back up to the forefront of your mind, you can tell Stan knows something is wrong. So you can't even give him the happy ending he deserves. You can't even convince him that you want to be here on the open seas forever with him, like he deserves. And you keep trying and trying to hide it, but Stan keeps asking in roundabout ways, like "You're being awfully quiet, sixer," and "whats that look on your face?" and eventually it comes exploding out of you like a shaken-up soda bottle dropped on its cap.

And then it's like you're back at home in New Jersey again, standing in the living room while dad grabs Stanley by the shirt. It all comes pouring out of you, in the worst possible way, with the worst possible phrasing, like a pandora's box of monstrousness, and Stan tries to fight back against the sting of your words, but you're made out of acid and you're burning through him and you can see it on his face, and there's never any coming back from this, not this time, you'll just have to either jump into the ocean or become a monster forever, so Stan can hate you more easily again, and-

-and at the end of the outburst, you're still on a boat in the middle of nowhere in the ocean with your brother, in dangerous waters, and you have things to do to keep the boat running smoothly.

You can't run away from him. He can't run away from you. You're stuck here for at least a couple more weeks, even if you turned around and sailed back towards shore right away.

-

And the thing that compels me so much here, despite how unbelievably angsty it all is, is that it sets up a situation wherein the Stans might end up forced to actually address the decades of resentment and confusion and wanting-to-reconnect-throughout-it-all that they thought they could gloss over and heal with enough time spent adventuring together on a boat. They might end up forced to actually address the crux of the issue that drove them apart in the first place: Ford wanting a little more space to feel like his own person, and to feel like he's able to have his own dreams, too.

It wouldn't happen easily, nor right away, but if they were stuck together on a little boat in the middle of nowhere surrounded by magical creatures they have to protect each other from in order to make it back home alive, then after they had one fight where they brought up all the things they silently agreed to never bring up again, it would probably happen many more times, and each time it would leave them both angrier at each other than ever, until eventually something honest slipped through amidst all the saying-anything-except-what-they-mean bickering. And once enough of these honest moments slipped through, then they would have a thread to tug on to start to unravel the gargantuan knot of their decades of unresolved conflicts.

And then, eventually, maybe Stan could learn that he can have a good friendship with his brother without needing to be glued to him at the hip, and Ford needing a certain amount of alone time doesn't mean he dislikes him or wants to abandon him, and Ford could learn that he can be honest and have a meaningful connection with someone without it driving them away and making them hate him.

[brittlebutch]

finally found a place to read With the Light online and i'm thrilled; if you haven't read this manga i do Legitimately recommend it

[violentdevotion]

wait do you have a fav boys character yet ?

i really like butcher but i feel like that's a basic answer and also the wrong answer. in another world id like frenchie but i can't get over how much i hate the actor. I love maeve theres never a moment she's on screen where im thinking get this woman outta here she's always entertaining to me. i like starlight but (and this is probably a bit nasty to say) there's smth a little uncanny valley about her sometimes where when she's talking im not listening but staring at her face trying to see what features throwing me off. I hate ashley but the actress played an insufferable character in jessica jones too and I really appreciate her ability to play The Most annoying woman you know.

centrist answer i like them all (except stormfront. hated her before i even knew she was a nazi. she was on insta live and i was waiting for her to explode and die) but my fave would have to be butcher bc i find im rooting for him the most and constantly justifying his actions. but sometimes karl urbans accent pisses me off. also black noir but he doesn't Do anything so it's hard to have him as a fave bc he's barely there.

[imminent-danger-came]

I really am so sad I don't like isat. The themeing was very good