#like yeah we all know its bad putting that in your tumblr tags doesnt make u a better fan also why do people act so entitled to habe those
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utahlive · 2 years ago
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im sorry utah nation. I played videos game instead of working on an episode,, orz
on an unrelated note, I wanted to ask: does anyone have any tumblr themes or ways to make posts chronological? We have roughly 150 episodes of UtahLIVE, and although most of them can be read out of order, there is a timeline (plus it would be more convenient for new readers. Ive gotten a lot of asks about topics or scenarios that have already been answered). If there are any tutorials/themes/tips let me know via DMs or ask box!
additionally:
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LETS GOOOOO!!! This is insane! 4000 people... thats roughly twice the size of the student body at my school. I dont know how many of you guys are porn bots, but im still going to take this W. I feel like I should do something special? People usually do community events for milestones I think so if you have ideas let me know?? Otherwise I’ll have something fun to post in the next week.
+ some quick q&a below
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avoiding potential lawsuits 🙏
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I know this one is meant for Wilbur, but alas thats just how I draw eyes. Sorry my art style gave your fave character cataracts. yeah its permanent. no sorry we cant fix it. um. insurance doesnt cover the surgery so hes like that forever. yeah. sorry
(i do like to mess with how I draw eyes, but the white color is a stylistic choice)
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its a psycho-competitive relationship that can be construed to be romantic (but it's not explicit). obviously
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anon im holding your hand so tenderly and lovingly. it means a lot that people like my art! more than I can say, which is why ive been trying to figure out how to answer this ask for the past like... two+ weeks since you sent it in! Im probably gonna hold off on sharing my other accounts for a few reasons (there might be some people who already know my other blogs which is fine idc welcome to my twisted mind etc im just not going to advertise them here). My main blog is basically a spam blog where I dont tag anything. I dont really post original art and my fandom art is few and far between. 90% of my work just goes in discord DMs or servers 💀 I think the main reason though-and this may or may not make sense to some of you-is that I don’t want your opinion of me to change how you view the story. This is a super specific example, but for all my fic readers out there: have you ever joined an authors server, and then after meeting them you feel a bit odd about the fic since the creator isnt exactly the person you thought them to be (not necessarily in a good or bad way)? That’s exactly what I don’t want happening with this blog. Basically: Nooo what if you find out about me as a person and realize im cringeeee aaaaa [image of the werewolf transformation (you know the one)] That being said, we’ll see how things go, I guess! At the very least, I’ll probably put my socials out when I’m done here (we got a ways to go before that happens though, so dont even start to worry about that) that was a lot of text for one answer. yeesh 😬 sorry about that
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honeymintki · 6 years ago
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uhh why are some i-fans so salty about k-fans (im sure vice versa too but i mostly see intl fans on social media) like every fandom/subset in a fandom has issues u don’t need to get a superiority complex over it ,like i swear one day we’re gonna have the war between privacy-breaching possessive k-fans vs racist koreaboo i-fans
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insertdisc5 · 3 years ago
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Hi!! I wanted to ask, in celebration of Deltarune CH. 2, do you have any updated thoughts and head canons about the game?? Like, y'know, similar to a previous ask about Kris in your Deltarune tag? Thanks!
thoughts on kris part 2 i guess???? (part 1 from ch1 here lol)
spoilers for deltarune like woah. this wont be kris focused just random thoughts on everything. thank you for giving me the opportunity to talk
not that many thoughts for this chapter tbh! EDIT LOL: this was a lie i have a lot of thoughts
-just in general i feel like the player isn't the only one controlling kris... like yes the player forced kris to do what happened in the snowgrave route but AT THE SAME TIME idk it feels like there's someone else too. just because of the terrifying voice i suppose. and also the jerky movement kris does every time they get their soul out? unless there's another reason for it... maybe getting your soul out means you walk weird lol
-BUT ALSO i feel like kris is 100% in control when they create fountains. idk it just makes sense kris would create them. to create another world, a better world, A WORLD WHERE THEIR BROTHER IS HERE PERHAPS? i do wonder why they get their soul out then though. i'm all for it sweetie! do whatever! i support you!
-(i am and will be playing deltarune with only kris' best interests in mind. i will not hurt anyone unless kris wants me to. dont worry my little meow meow im on your side! talk to me! no? okay ill stay under the sink its fine)
-speaking of asriel. SUMMER VACATION COLLEGE WHEN? SUMMER VACATION COLLEGE WHEN? SUMMER (starts crying) V-VACATION COLLEGE WHEN
-kris misses their brother so much it's so sad. if you make kris steal 5$ from asriel they take it "reluctantly"? talking to asriel online so often even alphys knows?? the google search?? GOING INTO ASRIEL'S GOOGLE SEARCH ROOM WITH THEIR EYES CLOSED BECAUSE THEY'RE CONVINCED THEY ALREADY KNOW WHATS IN THERE? THAT ONE IS LESS OF A MISSING THING BUT IM LIKE OH MY GOD
-the city walk with susie at the end makes it clear to me that kris really values susie's friendship... kris even sits with her if you spend long enough near the lake like aaaaah ;_;
-and even in snowgrave you spend your last acts with the final boss calling for your friends like YES there's a way bigger creepy aspect to this (kris as more of a Leader who Commands and commands their subjects to come) but still :'0 (and then noelle answers oh my god noelle im so sorry for the trauma)
-berdly. listen. listen. listen. liste
-berdly sucks but [berdly hurts his arm in the battle against queen if you don't save him because he doesnt want to hurt you] [berdly realizing smg's wrong in snowgrave and immediately taking steps to save noelle] berdly is my little crumb nugget. i will protect him.
-noelle. noelle. girlboss!
-like ooooh listen. hearing about the genocide path for undertale. made me go "that is SO COOL. i HAVE to experience it myself this is great. hehehe killing time" and like no regrets. i was fully enjoying the experience knowing i was an awful person. SNOWGRAVE THOUGH. i will never try this myself its too fucked up. casually grooming your childhood friend to murder people <3 and also acting like a weird stalker towards her <3 stockholm syndrome speedrun i will get all the info i can about this but i will never do this myself
-people remarking the kris/player>noelle relationship is similar to the relationship between player>chara in genocide path is like yes. chefs kiss. don't worry we just are making you stronger and everything will be fine "you made me kill my friend? and for what?" this is fine sweetie don't worry about it!!!!!!
-like the amount of details added to snowgrave, like if you equip noelle's watch she notices later? and her battle animations change as time goes on, she gets an ice shield and stops sighing in relief after battle? oh my god? oh my god.
-(berdly is not awake.) JUST KILL ME RIGHT HERE I HAVEN'T STOPPED THINKING ABOUT BERDLY NOT BEING AWAKE!!!!!
-also why didnt he turn into dust. so many possible reasons. is magic a thing in the normal world and perhaps no magic means no dust (theres graves). maybe he isnt dead. maybe hes braindead. maybe he'll come back. either way that boy is now in the closet big enough to put someone in
-also dess' name probably being december AND THATS WHY NOELLE LOST THE SPELLING BEE?!?!??! FUCK ME UP!!!!! JUST FUCK ME UP!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!
-also so many good pixel art this chapter. too many? i didnt need pixel art of cardboard noelle falling on the statue. like thank you but please. please it hurts my game artist brain.
-the expressions in this chapter were also top notch. all the unsettling noelle expressions like (i fall over face first)
-i threw away the ball of junk (which i already tried in ch1) and this time the game was like "ARE YOU SURE BC THIS IS A BAD IDEA" and kris felt bitter :'( (it deletes all your items in the dark world)
-i uh fucked up and skipped the susie+noelle scene bc listen last time ralsei mentionned seeing what susie is doing we missed some PRIMO LORE. turns out it just makes you skip the scene and you dont get anything new. welp
-speaking of ralsei well you know. he exists. but im stuck on him going "i just wonder what being ralsei-like even is...?" ralsei my dude there's so much i could say about this. do you feel like you can't be ralsei-like because you feel like you have to be asriel-like
-but also that makes no sense bc susie hasnt even mentioned ralsei looks like asriel. and i cant imagine asriel being so meek. so WHAT GIVES
-ralsei as kris’ “i wish i was a monster just like my bro and family and i’d look like asriel but with red horns [THE HALLOWEEN COSTUME] and my name would be something cool like ralsei instead of a boring human name like kris and im sweet and cute because thats how i act with asriel because ASRIEL MADE ME” theory because that would be cute.
-ASRIEL GOING TO THE CHURCH TO CONFESS HIS "SINS" WHEN "SINS" AREN'T A THING IN THE ANGEL BELIEF LIKE I KNOW THIS INTERACTION WAS TREATED AS A JOKE BUT WHAT THE FUCK ASRIEL?
-kris definitely has a connection with the big red door in the city, judging by what the kids say they probably went there... i feel like this place's dark world will be the Final Dungeon you KNOW some shit happened there. also the sounds you hear when you go there is the phone dark world call's sound slowed down? AND AFTER SNOWGRAVE APPARENTLY YOU CANT HEAR IT ANYMORE? HUWAH?
-speaking of songs the songs were all so good, My Castle Town rules, the berdly snowgrave music is stuck in my head, flashback is uwah wuahah, Until Next Time is so good, AND ALSO A FRIEND NOTICED THE DARK WORLD CITY THEME IS JUST tHE SONG 74 (MOST NOTICEABLE WITH THE SNOWGRAVE VERSION)?????? WHAT DOES IT MEAN????? it might be just "hey its just reuse" BUT MR FOX YOU KNOW WE'RE GONNA READ INTO THIS IS NOELLE THE ONE SINGING IDK BRO!!!!!!!!!!
-asgore dreemurr fired from the force what happun!!!!! game theory is that asgore is related to dess' death/disappearance but eh who knows
-you start the chapter at lvl2 and get to lvl3 after the final boss, a friend mentioned this is probably because we destroyed a world and im :0
-to go back to kris it's still so interesting to figure out who they are based on how they act/people mention them. like kris shaking the ferris wheel car? yeah makes sense i can imagine a pranking kid do this. kris' dance? yeah thats a little silly but i can buy it. doing cool anime poses? well i dunno this doesnt line up PERFECTLY but sure. BUT EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS IN SNOWGRAVE... especially >proceed like that is such a weird thing that i can't imagine them doing, but i can't completely see the "player" doing either (compare with going to sans -which kris doesnt know- and going "SANS!" because of course the player would know sans), like THATS one of the reasons i feel like there's someone else in there. the weird robotic merciless actions. if im going super meta it feels like there'd be someone else like writing the choices into existence for us to pick you know? gaster probably? god i need to read more gaster theories i completely sidestepped the gaster shit bc i wasnt interested. anyway just spitballing
-(looks at big shot guy) please dont make him the next tumblr guy i beg you
-obligatory "queen was great" mention if only because this part made me laugh a little bit too hard
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that was a lot. thank you for letting me talk
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zoufantastical · 4 years ago
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Can I ask you something? What’s so bad about shipping the veterans with the scouts? You also said about how adults need to have responsibilities because they are shipping “teenagers” with adults because there can be children here but isn’t that the responsibility of the parents? Like I’m trying to see what your point is because at the end of the day it IS fiction. People shouldn’t be called out for shipping what they want. It doesn’t hurt anyone in real life. And you tagged those ships so I know you aren’t doing this for the children of this site but because you want to get attention. I’ll like to see how you explain that.
Oh boy an account that very obviously looks new. It’s starting y’all. Let’s see here. The question should be WHY you want to ship them with each other.
(Kinda long post incoming!!)
Is it the aesthetic? Is it because it looks “hawt”? It can’t possibly all be because of the moments they had in the manga/anime.
You specified that and called them veterans. So using that word you are already aware that there is not only a noticeable age difference/gap but experience/power.
Let’s also take a look at the timeline.
The four year time skip started around March 2017. The rest of the scouts don't make their debut around chapter 102, which was around February 2018. Which means every veteran x scout shipper waited NINE YEARS to FINALLY have some sort of excuse to ship them, even though their new age of 19 from over mid 30+ is still such a large age gap.
Before that, people were WILLINGLY SHIPPING 15/16 YEAR OLDS WITH ADULTS. ADULTS OVER 30+ and even if they were younger, like 20-30, THAT IS STILL A LARGE AGE GAP. I am an adult over 21 and I'll be DAMNED if I ever get close and romantic with a teen. Do you have any idea of the explicit artwork and fics there are around depicting exactly that type of relationship that will not only have you shunned by society but probably have you in a jail cell as well? Not only that but there are fics/artwork that ages them up. Gee, I wonder WHY you have to do that?
The fiction excuse has been dragged through the mud so many times. While it being fictional doesn't automatically makes you a pedo/groomer/incestuous person, it does makes you morally questionable. Why does something have to be fictional for you to willingly want to persue such ship? It's the fiction part that makes me call people out. Because lets face it: the fictional world and the real world is a blurred line.
If you really think about it, fictional media does have an impact on our every day lives. The way we consume it and go about it. The way it can affect our lives and even the views of society. So when people throw at me "iTs fIcTiOn" I know they have nothing else to say. If you need something to not be (barely) real to want to be a fan of something morally and legally wrong in the real world, then people around you have every right to question you.
Pursuing something specific like what I'm talking about in fiction can speak volumes of you as a person and your values. So saying it doesnt "hurt anyone in real life" is a lie. Fiction has a great grasp over our lives. It has also been responsible and consequential to certain conducts in society. Fiction CAN hurt lives in reality.
Some of you may think I'm exaggerating but this is real, no pun intended.
In regards to kids, many of the people who ship ereri or rivamika etc are impressionable. Yes parents should monitor them but do you expect them to on every move? Especially if YOU as an ADULT contribute to the same media parents try to teach them it's wrong and avoid? I mean yikes when did we become so ignorant and not care about others because your twisted desires are involved..that's such a sad thought. Tumblr obviously is a melting pot of other shit but taking kids out of the equation what about impressionable recent adults, especially the ones who believe they already know everything?
As I earlier said, the way we consume media does affect us.
Drifting from fiction, have you ever thought about the author himself? As in ISAYAMA? If you ship any of the 104th with a veteran, do you believe if this was acceptable in any way, Isayama would have found a way to include it in his story? That's right actually he HAS!
Have you forgotten when (trigger warning: sexual assault) Armin dressed as Historia was sexually assaulted by a man around the veterans age? Oh, so that time it was wrong but because the veterans are good looking it doesn't count if they ever tried to reach the 104th romantically/sexually? Oh you forgotten how the fandom was disgusted at this scene? So you already know Isayama will NEVER approve something like this since he already put a similar situation in a negative light.
This is a long post but yeah that's the most "shorten" in depth of why I can give you all. Between these questions and the gabi hate posts, I'm beginning to wonder if its a good idea having this open question posts thing 😂
Thanks for reading if any of yall did. Yes I am messy I will tag the posts. Block me or whatever I don't care. If it reaches even one person to consider on what they are doing, then so be it. So yeah I'm doing it for attention...isn't that literally the reason any of us posts here? 😂😂😂
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moonlightchn · 4 years ago
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~WHOLESOME WEDNESDAY~
Not to be a soft motherfucker but I've been wanting to do this again for a week now so I guessed I would try my best to fit as many of my thoughts here as I can without being annoying or tumblr fucking up plz bear with me heh but we know none of those are actually possible anyway so THERES THAT also this is fucking long wow ANYWAY
WARNING WORD VOMIT sjsjsjsj I dont even know what i wrote I'm sorry but I'm tagging yall anyway
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Some of you I speak to on a daily basis, yknow? Like,, as admin. And its fucking insane because like- I don't know but like isn't it insane? sjajsjsj How fast some people come to grow in your heart and get under your skin and become so important for you. I think it's crazy. That in four months or so I've made more friends in here that in my whole life and I've learned so much about life and myself and I've gotten marked and some of you imprinted on my mind and heart forever. And like HELL I wasn't here when most big dramas happened but I was here for two very big ones and like??? idk it feels like all of us have been through shared crises and somehow grown closer sjajskwjs idk I'm weird and im sensitive today and I just feel like wow what would I be doing without all of you right now? probably studying. or scrolling Twitter in which I never spoke to anyone. or watching Instagram stories and getting sad over how all my ex class partners are still in contact and hang out and keep strong relationships while I just sit here. like, I know we all say this place sucks and we hate it and its toxic and don't get me wrong of course some people is fucking shitty and they take a toll on a lot of others but that like... it also happens in real life yknow?? but like in real life how many people do you think would actually idk sit with you through a panic attack or stay up with you till 8am or wake up in the middle of the night or rave with you or hype you up or have meme wars or send you daily jokes or just randomly tell you how much you mean to them or make posts asking where you are when you disappear or been gone for too long or make people that doesnt know you send you birthday wishes? like I'm not saying it doesnt happen but isnt it wonderful that it happens HERE with US where maybe out of 10 people only 2 know each other in real life? Isnt it wonderful that we're from all around the world? that you half of the time dont realize someone isnt from English speaking places because they're too good or even when they're not that good no one judges you because this is such an inclusive and wonderful place for people of all races and colors and sexualities and nationalities and body types and hair colors?
idk I'm just RAMBLING but like I wanted to let everyone know that even if we dont speak, even if we NEVER spoke, even if we're only on each others tag lists, or even if I was and you took me off or I took you off or if you deleted or if you have 817383 bots and you speak to me in all of them or only one or whatever PLEASE just know that I love you so much and I appreciate you and you're awesome and if you made some mistakes know that you CAN fix them you CAN learn and be better you CAN grow.
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I believe that everyone is capable of learning and changing and everyone deserves a second chance as long as they genuinely show the intention of changing and bettering themselves. I believe that we're capable of forgiving and maintaining healthy relationships without hard feelings. I believe we all have goodness. I believe we all are small universes and we have stars in our eyes and supernovas in our brains and a million things to discover and I believe its funnier to be together than alone and I'm rambling again but like idk just yesterday I was sending someone a message telling them how maybe I'm fucking delusional and naive because who the fuck goes out on their daily saying "be skeptical. dont trust too much. always pay attention" but then after two days of talking with someone they're fucking platonically whipped and would sell their soul as long as they can see those around them happy? trick question I know many of you do too which WORRIES ME PLZ DONT PUT YOUR HEARTS ON THE LINE SO EASILY I drifted I forgot what I was saying oh welp
Anyway for some of you i have so much to say I could write endless paragraphs about you about admins and characters and life and wow I do speak a lot to admins sometimes I speak more to admins as admin that the characters and for some others I can only say a few things or wish you to have a good day some of you I only ever spoke to your character or we talked too little or never at all wow I say that a lot but like one thing yall have in common is that I love you so much even if you don't know me or dont care alright I dont care if you don't care I LOVE YOU and you can FIGHT ME if you dont wanna accept it smh I just want you to know that this place so many of you have been feeling is crumbling down or hurting them or isnt the same anymore is MY safe place too is a place where I feel comfortable and secure and I know, well decide to believe, that you guys would never do willingly anything to hurt another and yknow sometimes I just sit in bed and look at my account and I'm like wow I suck I should delete but then I'm like I could never do that to you I really couldn't because I've been told so many times I'm peoples safe place too and I would never want to take that away from you yknow
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I mean I'm not gonna say we shouldn't pay attention to the bad things that happen because this is somehow our home and it's on us to protect it but I think that we shouldnt focus so much on it. because theres still so many good things that we overlook when we think of the bad or when we let things get to us or when we decide to act out of impulse and not think through stuff yknow
ANYWAAY what I'm trying to say is that I love you all so so so so so much and this is my safe place because you're here for me when I need it and I would never give you guys up for anything and like i have so many people for whom i stay daily and try my best and I hope that someday when you need a reason i can be that for you too because I've said this in private but I want everyone to know that this is my corner too and I will always fight for it and protect it so like we can all fight for it together whenever things get rough or you can leave me alone and maybe I'm being super dramatic and putting a lot of weight on this but I started overthinking like halfway and in just tthink that I want to keep yall close to me and my heart forever ok so stay safe and healthy and happy yeah fight for your happiness fight for what you deserve fight for what you want and don't let anyone ANYONE EVER take away from you your joy and your spark and your will to be yourself ok bye
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thehealingplum · 3 years ago
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things that have been helping me:
1. listening to positive music. i will be lying down in silence and the only thing in my head is one of those catchy songs i recently listened to. while i do occasionally indulge in my angsty music, i overall try to stick to more positive lyrics.
2. positive affirmations vs self deprecation. yeah, i know, saying “haha i’m so stupid” has become such a common thing that it’s honestly WEIRD not to see it. but like. maybe just don’t do that anymore. did you fall down? exaggerate how graceful you were. having trouble speaking? say “i do the words good” or something else nonsensical. it’s not putting yourself down, and it’s a way to make light of mistakes and allow yourself to not feel BAD for making mistakes.
3. not apologizing about everything. i have a terrible habit of feeling like my existence is an inconvenience, so i apologize all the fucking time. ‘sorry for bothering you.’ ‘sorry for wasting your time.’ ‘sorry for being annoying.’ no. dont say those anymore. don’t be sorry for existing. say ‘thank you for your time’ and ‘thank you for listening’ and ‘thank you for understanding.’ your friends, they choose to spend time with you because they care. you’re not a nuisance to them. you have to trust them, okay?
4. establishing boundaries and saying no. i quit my job. it was a religious based job and i do NOT have positive experiences with religion. family doesnt understand that religious abuse is a thing, even though THEY mean well, they have been very invasive and uncomfortably controlling over my life. and so i do not engage in religious stuff like i used to. my father got mad at me for it, but i know why i quit and i will still say “i cannot work in a christian place.” period. that is my boundary. another boundary that i established? people asking me for shit. my brother asked if i had a fingernail clipper. i know he has a bad habit of losing stuff or breaking stuff, so i said no. theyre my clippers, and he is completely capable of going to buy one for himself. he has a job, money and a car. it is not hard for him to go to the dollar store and get him a cheap pair of clippers.
5. resting and me time. we all feel like we should constantly be doing something productive. constantly be making something. constantly be making a difference in someone’s life. an important part of existing is RESTING. neither the body nor the mind are made to be constantly at work like this. taking time to yourself is necessary to reflect on you, and to be comfortable with your existence. it sounds corny as fuck but like. it. definitely is something that needs to be done. if you are afraid of being alone with your thoughts then it sounds like you need a bit of professional help to walk you through self discovery.
6. redirecting impulses into writing. intrusive thoughts exist. compulsive behavior exists. i cannot tell you how many times i have just been like ‘hey, i’m going to go ahead and give this person advice because i think its what they need!’ and instead of acting on that, i think about my characters doing it. i think about how people would react to these behaviors. it helps me look at my own behavior from an outside perspective and helps me pick out the traits that i need to shut down. i also offer ‘advice’ in the form of just posting here on tumblr about my recovery process lol. people have the option of blocking my tags, blocking/unfollowing me, and do not have to consume my content at all. those who are comfortable with my self help stuff are more than welcome to stay around if they feel like they are being helped. so it’s a win/win. im helping others by helping myself, but not FORCING help onto other people.
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romolite · 4 years ago
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*Important FAQ*
Aka questions that pertain to what I usually post about or stuff I don’t like getting asks about but continue to get asks about regardless.
[Insert any invasive question about my ethnicity/race]
I’m Ghanaian American. My parents were born in Ghana and I was born here in the US. I’ve seen it more on twitter and tumblr, but Black Africans don’t like me because I’m American, and black Americans don’t like me because I’m African. So I’m stuck in the middle lmao. I’m what you’d consider a First-Generation African, my parents are Continental Africans, and if I have children, they will be considered Generational African Americans.
First Generation African: A black person born in the US to parents who were born in Africa
Generational African American: A black person born in the US to US-born black parent(s)
Continental African: A black person born in Africa to parents who were also born in Africa
Non is just a prefix, black people don’t have a monopoly on the term! I suppose you think nonbinary people are racist huh?
Yeah sure it wasnt coined by black people but the context it’s currently used as was predominantly used by black people. ALL people who are not black benefit from and contribute to antiblackness, even if they are marginalized themselves. That kind of dynamic doesnt exist in other contexts (unless we’re talking about transfem + transmisogyny, but that’s something you’d have to talk to someone who is transfem about. Plus they have their own word for  “non-transfem”). Using it in contexts outside of antiblackness is appropriative (Yall are annoying as fuck with the “non-aspec” “non-lesbian”(this term also has anti-bi roots btw) “non-bi” shit etc, stop it. You also can’t complain about the “replacement terms” lumping yall with oppressors when “non-x” does the exact same thing you’re so worried about. “Cis” puts cis gays with cis hets, cis disabled people with cis abled people, cis white people with cis poc, I could go on.) 
Plus we’re talking about marginalized groups here. Black people are a marginalized group. Binary people as a whole are not so the term nonbinary isn’t appropriate at all.  I dont take issue with terms like “nonamerican” or “nonwhite” because (obviously) whites + americans as a whole aren’t oppressed for being white or american.
Basically using "non-x” in contexts to talk about oppression bad, everything else good.
Follow up: If we can’t use non-[marginalized group], what can we use instead?
There are other words to describe the people you’re talking about
non-transfem- TME
non-LGBT- cishet, or people who aren’t LGBT
non-trans - cis
Black people don’t have a monopoly on the acronym nb! I’ll call myself nb if I want to!
At this point I dont really care, go on your antiblack crusade elsewhere and out of my inbox, I’m always gonna mean nonblack when I use the acronym nb. 
And yes, you’re antiblack as fuck if you think black people telling you “nb” stands for “nonblack” is the same as exclusionists claiming “aspec” is for autistic people.
Is x AAVE?
I have a tag dedicated to what is and is not aave and how harmful it is for nonblacks to use aave given its history. I know some things overlap with southern culture but others are specifically for black people. A lot of “stan twitter” language/slang is just repackaged AAVE. No, I can’t tell you how to stop using AAVE. Don’t tell me you’re going to try to stop using AAVE, I don’t want to hear it.
Why don’t you like the n-word being compared to LGBT slurs?
Race and Sexuality/Gender aren’t comparable topics because each deals with a different history of oppression. I don’t care about slur discourse that much because I don’t even use/reclaim any myself except the n-word.
I have a problem with nonblack LGBT people co-opting black culture and struggle(like they always do), especially for trivial online discourse.
And to be honest it goes deeper than slur discourse. Every other day someone is weaponizing the oppression of black trans women, or comparing “cishet aces/aros” in the LGBT community to white/nonblack people invading black spaces (you know, something that ACTUALLY takes resources away from the people who need it, see the cultural appropriation of Black African and Blac American culture in literally any nonblack community while black people get demonized for said culture), or tokenizing their black friends to get away with something blatantly racist. And that’s not even getting into how a lot of gay slang/stan culture is just repurposed AAVE/black culture.
And I’m not gonna lie, I’ve seen this more with exclusionist accounts than inclus accounts, but it’s still not excusable for inclus to do that either. We get erased as black gay/trans/queer/aspec people up until it’s time for discourse accounts to bring us up to one-up each other
Can you give me advice on x?
Most likely not, because I’m not an expert or an advice blog. I’ll try, but don't take my word for it. I’m also tme, able-bodied, not Jewish, singlet, etc, so I’m not able to accurately answer questions about transmisogyny, (physical?) ableism, antisemitism, “sycourse”, etc.
I might be able to give advice on school-related stuff since I just graduated high school, but remember that students are not a monolith, and what worked for me may not work for someone else.
Can I follow if I’m nonblack/a minor/cishet?
Nonblack and/or cishet can follow but watch your step, minors blacklist the #minors dni tag before following
Why do you hate Ao3?
*long sigh*
I don't, I have a problem with the fact that it allows racist and (frankly voyeuristic) pedophilic/abusive/incestuous content to exist on its platform. It’s a good concept overall, but the devs are complicit in allowing “underage” and “noncon/dubcon” fics on their platform.
And there's the fact that they somehow need donations every year despite exceeding their goal several times over each year?
What’s wrong with Hazbin Hotel/The Ships/Vivziepop?
[WIP, as I have to go into extensive detail about this and I currently don’t have the energy for it]
TLDR: Viv made a half-assed apology for supporting racists (one of whom did blackface [yes the mask was used to do blackface shut up] to mock black activist) and drawing gross content. Her current projects including Hazbin Hotel are full of anti-gay/trans/aspec (Angel Dust, Vaggie, Alastor), antisemetic (Mimzy), and racist (Vaggie again, that yellow cyclops character that I’ve forgotten the name of) content under the guise of humor. If you’re into that shit, whatever, just don’t follow me and don’t whine when I make posts criticizing it.
What’s wrong with Hamilton?
Aside from the fact that it’s very obviously glorifying slave owners and made people worldwide believe the founding fathers were good people, LMM, the creator, is nonblack. This isn't his story to tell at all. 
Can you tag x?
I have a list of things I usually tag because they come upon this blog a lot. I cannot do catch all tags, as I have way too many followers for that. The closest thing to that is the “ask to tag” tag when there’s something potentially triggering but I’m not sure what it is. Everything is tagged as “x tw”. If something is extremely triggering, I’ll tag it as “major tw”
Do you tag slurs?
I tag slurs I’m not able to reclaim at all (i.e., d slur, f slur, t slur) or slurs I can reclaim but are being used as a slurs. I don’t tag the n-word, as I reclaim that one. I always tag the r slur
Can I message you about something/someone?
Unless you’re a mutual, most likely no. My DMs are only open to mutuals.
Do you want to be mutuals?
I don’t usually follow back people who follow me, especially if you’re under 16 or post things I’m not interested in.
Why is it important to have byf or about?
1) So I know gross people aren’t following me. This is not up for discussion
2) So I know someone’s not speaking out of their lane, which tends to happen a lot. (i.e, someone refusing to disclose that they are tme when discussing transmisogyny, someone not having their race listed when discussing racism)
3) Some people don’t want to interact with people under 18 or over like 30 or something.
Yeah, yeah, people aren’t entitled to personal information and all that crap but I have a serious problem with people speaking on topics from a place of privilege. Not to say they can’t talk about those things, just perhaps add a disclaimer that you’re privileged when talking about these things and be open to criticism, and NOT blocking people of the said marginalized group when they tell you something you’ve said was problematic.
I also have a problem with people who are intentionally vague about their age. There’s a difference between interacting with someone who’s 20 and someone who’s 29. I don’t want to say it’s the opposite for minors but at the same time there’s a difference for saying something racist at 13 and doing so at 17, and keeping your age vague makes it harder to determine how to deal with something like that. (Not that 13-year-olds shouldn’t know better, it’s just I don’t feel whole ass callout posts and receipt blogs are necessary for someone of that age).
Also anyone under 16, I can't stop you from following, but keep your interaction limited, please. This isnt an 18+ blog but I do rb suggestive jokes from time to time
I sent you an ask and you never answered it!
It’s likely that
I never got it
You were blocked
I’ve already answered this or it’s been answered in my faq
It’s a random positivity ask (which I appreciate but not sure how to respond to those)
You were rude in your ask and I didn’t feel like answering
I forgot until it was too late, which happens when my inbox gets a lot of asks at a time.
You sent it to the wrong blog (I.e, sending asks about my ocs to this blog instead of @ochood )
Hey, the op is [insert post] is [someone on my dni]! I usually double-check myself, just to be sure.
Have you heard about [someone who is mutuals with someone I’m loosely connected with]?
Most likely, no. And unless they’re an immediate danger to someone or they’ve got my name in their mouth, I don’t care.
Do you know who [x person/group/thing] is?Most likely no. Not to sound like a hipster but I don't usually keep up to date with trends. If I do hear about something, it’s most likely from twitter or Instagram.
Why am I blocked? Check here.
Why do you continuously move mains/change URLs/update themes?
I’m inconsistent. And sometimes there are posts on my blog that I no longer stand by.
Can I tag you in posts I think I’d like?Of course! 
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langst-wins · 6 years ago
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Okay so y'all are sleeping on the After Buzz interview!!! There's SO MUCH Klance goodness to unpack here, it's full meta worthy.
youtube
Okay, so I'm sure by now everyone who regularly views the Klance tag has seen a short 20-30 second video clip from this interview going around. We're all pretty hyped about it (as we should be!)
For those who haven't seen that clip because they live under a rock: it's basically a 45 minute interview all about The Fued episode.
Here's the thing though: that 20-30 second video clip does NOT even CLOSE to do justice to the significance of Klance hinted at in this interview!! That clip isn't even the best part, imo! I highly recommend, before you even scroll down to read this meta, that you click on that video and watch from about 34:50 to about 37:20. That's the clip I'm gonna write about.
Watched it? Okay. Good.
Now listen up.
Somebody was in the Klance tag earlier tryna get people down by saying the interviewer was the one who brought up Klance, but if you watch the video clip I reccomend above, that's not true at all.
The interviewer was asking in general about how they decided who would pick who at the end of the episode. Lauren is the one who brought up Keith and Lance and their dynamic, pretty much out of the blue.
The interviewer asked how they decided who was gonna pick who, and they're talking about who wrote the episode, giving Tim credit, etc.
Lauren started saying Bob was trying to get the better of the team, and having them all choose someone besides themselves and having everyone get chosen, and show they all respect each other, was the only way to beat Bob.
But JDS had a different view.
JDS: "I think Bob was just trying to help them realize it. I don't think he had it out for them, I think he was--his endgame was, like, I want these guys to work."
I know JDS was trying to sound like he was referencing the entire team here - but honestly? I don't think he was.
I say that because, when I first watched this episode as a Klance shipper, this was the exact thought I had regarding Klance. I flipped because I was thinking, "Wowza, Bob's really out here tryna bring Keith and Lance together, huh. Number one Klancer right there, ol' Bob." I've always thought that Bob was low key trying to play matchmaker for Klance and this kinda sort of confirms that in a way, I think.
JDS: "We were like 'how's this gonna happen?' then we read it and we were like '...oh that's pretty smart, yeah.'"
LM: "That is a good way for that to happen."
JDS: "It all worked out, yeah."
I don't understand how this relates to the team as a whole.
I don't understand how this relates to the team platonically choosing each other.
They all like and respect each other. We already know this. What does JDS mean by "how its gonna happen"? How is what going to happen?
Good way for what to happen, LM?
Keep in mind, Bob is essentially an all-knowing deity. If Keith and Lance have romantic feelings for each other, he for sure knows, and was trying to help them realize it just like JDS said.
After this, the interviewer continues on talking about Keith and Lance dynamic and how theres always gonna be that little bit of antagonism between them even though they're mostly getting along now. The interviewer even brings up the "dont miss" snippet scene that pretty much everyone but Klancers brushed off in season 7.
And if you listen while the interviewer is talking about Keith and Lance and their dynamic, LM is kind of saying "yeah" in the background in a weird way, like she kind of sees, the same way I do, that the interviewer is thinking along a line of Klance.
It sounds like she maybe doesn't want to talk about it? It's hard to explain, just listen to it.
And LM kinda awkardly says "aww" at one point while the interviewer is talking about Keith and Lance dynamic. Like I'm sorry but..why aww? And why so awkwardly?
I think LM's mind is thinking in a way geared toward Klance/not spoiling Klance in these last few moments of the interview and she's trying to placate. Again, it's hard to explain, just listen for yourself.
The same person in the Klance tag earlier who was tryna get people down pointed out that, after this, JDS compares Keith and Lance to a relationship he has with a buddy of his. Debbie downer said JDS thinks of Keith and Lance as friends.
I dont think so.
I think they say little things like this to kind of hint at Klance without straight up spoiling Klance. They throw in comments like that to throw water on the fire, so to speak, to keep people from catching on.
(Also: he's not wrong at all. At this point in the show Keith and Lance ARE buddies. It's slow burn. They aren't romantic yet - but they will be.)
But also...RIGHT after JDS makes the buddy comparison is when the moment happens of LM talking, the popular 20-30 second clip that's been going around tumblr.
This is the part I'm sure you've all seen. Lauren says that Lance is maturing, moving on, and opening up by calling Keith the future. She also puts emphasis on Keith's name. "I think KEITH is the future."
And after this is yet another moment that negative peeps are tryna bring KICKers down with; Lauren says Keith is so perturbed by the whole game show thing that he doesn't put much thought into who he chose.
But...that doesnt quite add up.
Earlier in the interview, they were talking about how Keith is just so calm through the whole thing.
LM and JDS said it's because they couldn't really get a hold of Steven Yeun to revoice the lines in a more concerned tone. They make a joke about how he's not exactly easy to get ahold of (lmfao yeah we've noticed.)
Then JDS points out that it really works out, actually, that Keith is so calm, because after flying magical mechanical space lions to form a giant magical mechanical space man, there's likely very little that could perturb Keith at this point, so his meh attitude toward the game show makes sense.
That doesn't add up with him being "so perturbed" by the game show thing that he just chooses at random.
Either he's calm and collected during the game show or he's not. It can't be both ways.
So did Keith choose Lance with a calm and clear mind, or was he shaken and choosing at random? They were very inconsistent with this.
But imo? Keith isn't one to get very riled up or perturbed by things like this. Keith also isn't one to make such an important life or death decision of who should be free to leave without putting any thought into it. That doesn't match his character at all.
LM and JDS did something they often do here, which is the good cop bad cop routine.
One of them hints at Klance, then the other pulls back and tries to make it seem less romantic. Then the one who tried to make it seem less romantic hints at Klance themselves, and the one who originally hinted at Klance tries to ease it back a little.
They do this constantly when discussing Keith and Lance in any way. It's like a rhythm they've got going to stoke the flames and then splash a little water in; not starting a wildfire, but not putting it out completely.
Another thing I noticed: they said earlier on in the video that, originally, the game show was meant to be the final episode before they got back to earth.
Originally, the stakes for the game show were supposed to be "win and you basically get wormholed back to your solar system."
They decided to switch the episode order around because it didn't feel right to have them get back to earth right on the heels of a silly game show; it made the stakes seem like they were less serious, and they didn't want that (makes perfect sense! Good call!)
One note of specific pessimism for Klancers after season seven was that we got that one he's like, the future moment and then Lance turns right around and is angry and snapping at Keith in the episode where they were going space mad.
This made a lot of Klancers lose hope because they felt like any potential was fizzled out when that one moment early on in the season was almost all the Klance we got (I personally think there were more Klance moments than just the Fued in season seven, and I even think Lance snapping at Keith about running away was a low key Klance moment, but that's another meta for another time.)
But...apparently...the space mad episode was originally meant to come BEFORE the Fued.
Y'all know what that means?
It means that, originally...Lance was going to snap at Keith about running away...and then he was going to call Keith the future later on.
This makes a hell of a lot more sense in the terms of Klance being a slow burn. It was the change of episode order that threw us.
Also notice that...they didn't specifically talk about any other characters or the relationship between any othercharacters. They JUST talked about Lance and Keith.
The interviewer asked in general how they decided who was going to choose who...and the showrunners just straight up spent three minutes talking about Keith and Lance without a single mention of the other three paladins.
The interviewer didn't bring up Klance. Lauren brought up Klance. The interviewer saw the opportunity and started digging a little, AFTER Lauren brought it up.
I just...
You guys.
You guys.
All of this, plus the fact that the Garfle Warfle Snick logo is an exact replica of the irl Dating Game logo, plus the fact that Josh Keaton said this episode contains "a lot of foreshadowing," plus the way Lance looked so kind and soft when he called Keith the future, plus the confused looks Pidge and Hunk had when Lance and Keith chose each other, like they sense this was more than a bro moment?
Guys. Come on.
KICK.
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shattered-catalyst · 5 years ago
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So this  isnt for anything other than just to say what happened just so I feel heard and I can explain why I cant be as energetic and socially active on here. Its not a callout post or to be reblogged/shared by people. Its not to get anyone in trouble or to cause any reaction. It’s just for me to let it out and reclaim this space again. Its been a year since it happened and I guess I’m just still noticing how badly it has impacted my PTSD. How much its changed me as a person both online and off, and this isnt a woe as me thing either this is just me feeling a need to be heard and explain my own behavior over the year and also to make one simple request of you guys: no matter what you do, always treat your rp partners as people first and writers second.
Because I feel myself becoming bitter and that isnt who I am and I dont want to be someone like that. Or like this. I want to be me again
The person who did this wont be named mainly because they dont deserve it and yall dont need to know. Their behavior when I confronted them more than cements the impression that they dont see any harm in what they said and how they reacted. And again this isnt about them though In A Way I suppose it is? it takes two to tango but it takes one to encourage someone to kill themselves.
This is going to be long because I need to inform on the activity that lead up to this  because it didnt just happen over night- though in a way it did. But you need a better picture of this person because apparently they present a really great face that only a few of us see the manipulative and toxic side of.
This person was always very judgemental and hyper critical. I witnessed a lot of very negative and toxic behavior from them but I was naive and just hoped they would mature as they grew older and gained more independence. I thought it was just a toxic friend group and that perhaps she would recognize her self destructive and immature behavior and grow from it. 
My first red flag should have been when they accused me of being their ex girlfriend SOLELY because I was living in PA. I hate to break it to yall, but PA is a big ass state and has a lot of comic book loving ladies. Thankfully I have never met this person IRL and I hope I never do.
They tried to pull me into making fun of other muns on discord, including mocking sensitive pictures from a mun’s personal blog. I blatantly said it wasnt okay and made me uncomfortable and she continued laughing and making jokes about it with her friend group on discord. She kept trying to pull me into it no matter how often I tried to change the subject.
Her group of friends also did this thing where one of them would go interact with a mun an they would take screenshots of the convo and share it with the group and mock the mun they were interacting with. Whether it be their presentation of character/grahics/writing style/ etc.
The other red flags I ignored? How much she complained and mocked other muns and compared them to me; if anyone did anything or said anything she disagreed with it was an instant blow up. She took EVERYTHING personally including other people writing the same characters she did, having differing headcanons, not knowng obscure details about canon, etc.
She once tried to make fun of a new writing partner I had who was writing the same character, and I had to break it to her that this new person could write in her first language if she wanted to; im being very vague but let me just say if you and your character have the same first language and you want to write in it then its completely WRONG for a white mun to try and make fun of you for it.
She once suggested I had stolen pictures off her pinterest when she sent me a moodboard request for my character. Jokes on her I didnt even know she HAD a pinterest and I had gotten all my pictures from the ‘green aesthetic’ tag on tumblr. Which I told her but she kept pushing the idea on me I had stolen them. I of course dismissed this and put it on the back burner despite the alarm bells going off.
This hyper critical and paranoid behavior continues with everything from other canon blogs making similar head canons/ vaguely similar graphics/ to fanfiction authors having similar head canons/plot ideas.
My penname Citrus? I didnt want one. I didnt want it. She demanded I have a pen name and if not she was going to call me Cat. Now as yall know I dont like being enmeshed with my muse so I keep myself separate from them. I didnt like being called Cat and I told her that explicitly. She kept doing it. So I had to make a pen name because she refused to respect my boundaries.
When the Deadpool movie came out she DEMANDED I change my FC to reflect the movie Despite Not Changing Hers to reflect her own characters new look - which might i add is fat erasure. It was clear then that the rules and standards she held other people to didnt apply to herself. I was labeled problematic for not giving into her demands to change FCs (which I have a literal logical reason for not changing and im not explaining that here)
So I shouldve left. Long story short I didnt because every friendship I’d been in until around this time had been abusive and toxic. I thought this was all normal behavior for people to have and I was convinced I was just being critical of someone elses opinions/ insensitive etc. Thanks to my colleagues in graduate school and to several of you on here I learned that ‘hey dumbass friends dont treat your ass like this’.
Im leaving a lot out about the shit she did/said to me but those snippets give you an idea of things.
Leading up she decided to leave fandom and asked we didnt talk about marvel I said cool okay and didnt talk about marvel with her. If I did I would ask first if she was okay if we talked about one small aspect I thought might excite her/ she would like to know about but it wasnt often that happened because she began ghosting me. Hard. She stopped replying to me at all over discord when I would try and talk to her how we used to about our lives. She didnt answer any asks for munday or character development, in fact she blatantly ignored me.
I checked in a couple times with her to make sure I hadnt done anything to make her uncomfortable and she said no. May I emphasize she said no here. Im emphasizing it right now. She said no. She said everything was fine. So when I was like hey dude this is super triggering for me can you send me like a hi every once in awhile just so I can know we’re okay because its super triggering for me. Yall know what she did? She ‘lmao’-ed. she thought that was hecka funny. Yeah triggering ‘Citrus’ is hilarious isnt it? No it isnt and I shouldve cut her ass off right then and there.
Heres where shit gets confusing: she kept fucking talking about marvel to me. Id get messages at random times about marvel and then silence for weeks. I vividly remember during this period I was cleaning the museum vault and she kept messaging me about her marvel fc’s and how she wouldnt get a plotline and how characters were wrong etc.
I remember being REALLY confused because she had said NO MARVEL. But here she was bitching at me about marvel. In fact thats all she did when she did talk to me. Which was only like three or four times during the ghosting time period. She’d bitch about marvel and then vanish.
Shed make claims about not watching her dash and thats why she never responded to me/ interacted with me. She’d say she wasnt talkng to anyone while I see her on the dash TALKING TO PEOPLE and Id like to point out Ive told her I would be fine ending anything as long as she let me know.
but she followed me on every blog and throughout this time period she made and followed me on numerous ones. She kept reaching out sporadically to bitch about her fcs/how horrible marvel was/ and thats it. 
It was extremely confusing because if someone doesnt want to talk to me I assume they will; 1. unfollow 2. block 3. say goodbye 4. ghost and stay ghosted.
Not cycle through behavior rapidly. I asked her a few times if we were good and that I was confused and I got another ‘lmao’ reaction so I assumed we were good. At this point I still have no idea what was going on/ what message I was supposed to be receiving other than confusion.
So following this is heavily suicide tw and I encourage you not to read this part and to scroll down until the suicide tw is over which is highlighted in bold- if you’re triggered by that because I care about those who follow my blog.
So thats when this shit happened. I had tried reaching out to her on a different fandom platform to try and maintain the friendship. Because she said numerous times that we were friends. So like I reached out thinking maybe she just didnt want a marvel blog period.  It wasnt too long after that that she suicide baited me.
I was in a really bad place and had been for awhile and when I posted about how the only thing holding me on was the new comic coming out and specifically said “im seriously suicidal and this comic is the only thing giving me hope #idk what to do anymore ”. I was surprised when she liked the post.
I was three steps into a four step plan. I had everything but the method planned out and was just waffling along with that. Because yknow its complicated and you do it you make it count amiright. Right. I was in a fucked up place. I had just realized I was gay, I was horrendously depressed, I was in considerable physical pain, I was working 70 hours a week, my OCD was at an all time high and the only thing that kept me on this earth was a fucking comic book. You hold onto what you need to yknow?
WELL APPARENTLY NOT
Because this person who doesnt read her dash? This person who doesnt want to talk about anything? Liked that post where I specifically stated I was suicidal and sent me a discord message saying “dont have hope”.
Thats all it said “dont have hope”
Now I know what youre thinking but hold on because it gets worse.
I said something about being confused I dont really remember because I was pretty out of it. I do remember she kept going on about how horrible the comic would be and that it would be a piece of trash. I remember telling her I was really numb and in a bad place and couldnt feel anything. I remember her sending me screencaps and continuing to go ON AND ON about how it wasn’t worth reading.
I remember with gross intensity how someone who said they were my friend was taking away the only thing that was keeping me alive.
I dont remember how the conversation ends. I called out of work for the next three days. I was catatonically depressed and unable to really move. I didnt eat either. I went to internship, work, and school in a state of dissociation.
 I took screencaps of everything and set them aside for later. IDK what I was going to use them for but I set them in a folder on my desktop, looking back I regret what I did next; because I deleted them. I deleted them because I thought maybe she had been manic or drunk and hadn’t realized the scope of what was happening. I wanted to talk to her about it and clear things up because I believed in her. I believed there was no way she would be so callous as to do that on purpose. No way would someone try and get someone they called a friend to kill themselves. So I deleted the screencaps and my post on tumblr. I deleted all evidence to protect her and I encourage you all never to fucking do that even if you think that person misunderstood the gravity of your situation. Because if you’re wrong no ones going to believe you.
I remember shifting between intense depression and total denial.
I spent the rest of that month in and out of intense dissociative states when I wasnt in class or working with my clients.  During the middle of October my sister sent me pictures of a litter of puppies and I was like ‘well, i really need to either kill myself or make sure i dont’. I spent a few days continuing to waffle with that decision but then i remembered my mom cosigned my loans and I cant leave her with that debt because fuck we cant even afford my funeral to begin with. So I adopted a dog, I named him Julio to remind me to keep living and he finally came to me on halloween.
He was the only reason I left bed on my days off. I tried not to think about it but I did.  
I continued to spiral with heavier dissociative episodes and vivid nightmares about it.
SUICIDE TW OVER
I waited until Christmas to ask her to clarify the situation and let her know I no longer felt comfortable writing with her. I reminded her what happened and told her to check her discord if she wanted to see for herself etc.
She sent two long asks of combative, emotionally abusive, and gaslighting accusations. The first thing she did was say I needed to provide evidence if I went around making accusations like that. Then she cascaded into how I always talked about marvel *points up to where i explained what happened earlier*.  She tried gaslighting me like a champion and tried turning me into a horrible person the only problem is everything she was accusing me of doing was the shit she was doing to me. Everything. 
Even if I was bad at any time I had given her numerous chances to tell me I was overstepping a boundary- she always said no. I gave her numerous times to unfollow me if she wasnt interested in interacting with me- she never did. In fact I had unfollowed her that month because of her behavior towards me and she hadnt even noticed.
I let her know I could tell she was angry,  and that I didnt take receipts of private conversations because I believed in settling things like adults, and that if she ever wanted any proof it was all in her discord anyway. I let her know she could contact me to apologize but otherwise I didnt want her on any of my blogs and I told her the first thing she should have done wasnt demand receipts but she should have asked if I was okay. Its a real reflection of where her priorities were when she demands evidence rather than checks to see if a writing partner is okay.
Even if I did something horrible it doesnt warrant someone trying to get me to end my life. 
I was notified she put a post on her blog apologizing to her followers for being a bad friend and that she was a horrible person and ofc everyone was like ‘noooo youre perfect’ and its like ya thats not for me who hasnt followed her in months- thats to save face.
Her friends blogs kept visiting my profile and going through the month where this happened.
Everything she did and said was to save face. Her blog and her reputation are the only thing she cared about. She has never approached me to apologize or anything of the sort and I doubt she ever will. I would hope she would never do this again and I hope she has grown as a person since. That her life is better and her mother is okay, that shes happy and learning. 
 I know by posting this I will never receive an apology- then again i never expected one to begin with. I could go through all the trouble of restoring the deleted files but to be honest it isnt worth it because theres no room in my life for that type of toxicity.
Since this happened I:
I have stronger episodes of depression and dissociation since.
My PTSD has increased and I have week long spikes in anxiety attacks, depression and decreased self worth if I even see her around the rpc despite being blocked, blacklisted on xkit etc.
Have more difficulty completing basic self care tasks due to an increase in depression and a decrease in self worth.
I have nightmares about this event and her to this day a year later.
I cannot interact with the RPC how I once did as I fear seeing her on my dash or any sort of information getting back to her about me.
It took me half a year to see the character she wrote as as safe again and for awhile I couldnt even look at him without experiencing an anxiety attack.
I keep having nightmares. Its been a year and I still have nightmares about this.
I find myself having more difficulties connecting with people online especially on this blog. I’m constantly on edge when interacting with people and I feel spikes of anxiety at the merest thought of someone talking about me to her.
I find myself unable to have confidence as a writer or creator online because I have been reminder of the cement wall between oc characters and their canon counterparts.
I cannot go out and just follow anyone and be friendly and trusting with them anymore, even with people I already know. In the back of my mind is a constant reminder of how she and her friends used to check up on people and pretend to write with them/ interact with them just to take screenshots of conversations to share with the group. I have become a paranoid little bitch in the past year is what Im saying. like theres 0 need for that shit.
I blocked most of the people she interacted with simply to save myself from being triggered by her blogs/ mentions of her and that isnt fair to those people.
I remember the photo incident and how people derived such joy from mocking someones body. I can think of so many incidents of them making fun of others and I remember how that could be happening about me rn, and I wonder if anyone would stick up for me like I did for the other mun.
 I hope by posting this I can try and return to the person I was before this happened. I can try and not be so bitter and reach out again to others. That somehow I can continue working on making tumblr a safe place for me again and not a PTSD laced minefield.
I would like to remind this isnt a callout and I request if you know who this is about you dont say anything to them. This isnt for them. They have NEVER reached out to apologize for their actions. They have NEVER checked to see if I was okay after that. They have NEVER shown any remorse for encouraging me to kill myself and while I hope they’ve grown from the situation and will never do it again I doubt I will ever get closure from such an event. But i DO hope by writing this I can take this place back.
Consider this my first step towards bringing this up to a therapist.
 Consider this another step to me taking this blog back and feeling safer here; and maybe just maybe Ill make up a cool pen name for myself and own that shit.
If you’ve read this far thank you for your patience with me, and I request you always treat your writing partners like the people that they are. 
This post is not intended or written to leave this blog and therefore I request you not reblog it or share segments of it with ANYONE. If I find you have shared anything on here without my explicit permission I will block you.
‘Citrus’
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catsblob · 6 years ago
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i made my first basics post on nov 23 2016 and current me doesnt even know that innocent bitch anymore.. though she made some points
i won’t be repeating myself from before unless it’s to clear up somethin so here we go class
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there’s no simple way to this. this relies on so many things such as post quality, interaction, active posting, and personality. if u got a shit personality, u’ll only be in this town for a month or so before getting kicked out in some way. 
make friends. yes, it’s easier said than done, but u gotta. reply to people’s posts, send asks, ask for collabs, make jokes, etc. etc. it helps to hang out w people who have similar aesthetics or interests as you! ur just gonna publicly clown yourself if u just hang out w people who have 0 commonalities w u... 
also posts? POST. preferably only sims-related stuff. many people, including me, avoid blogs that are mixture of irrelevant fandoms or are super personal. make a sideblog or a twitter to put that stuff in. yeah, its fine to post some personal updates here and there but... have mercy
this ties in with your posts getting attention. everyone starts off rough and getting lucky with a single like or even a reblog. it may take some people longer to get through, but you’ll make it if you try hard enough. don’t get easily disheartened!
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this is just a reality check everyone needs entering this community, just about ANY community. at some point, you’ll most likely get some form of anon hate in your inbox or on simsecret. don’t take it seriously. laugh it off. make some jokes about it. clown them. key point is that there is a difference between a criticism and just plain rudeness.
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within the past year, tumblr has done goofed up bad and has an automated system that flags posts that they believe is “sensitive content”. 99% of the time it isn’t so you gotta appeal it. sometimes, if you’re lucky, it’ll show an appeal button for you on the posts. if not, you can follow this method to appeal. if that doesn’t work, well, might as well just repost it.
most of the things that trigger the system are warmer tones (thinking its skin). i haven’t really noticed what else triggers it but i don’t even think tumblr staff knows that.
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there’s been an uprising of patreon creators, esp in the ts4 community, and many use this as a way to earn some money for their work. may it be early releases (most popular), exclusive cc (which you shouldn’t do. it’s shitty), wips, benefits, etc. etc. it’s basically a fancier version of a donation box.
a lot of patreon creators do exclusive cc which is quite frustrating, esp for people who 1. do not have extra cash to spend on two files of cc 2. are literal children and can’t pay. 
support who you want and know who you are supporting. don’t waste your money.
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i’m answering this as someone who creates for ts4. download sims4studio and blender (3d program - covers just about everything for ts4). you won’t really need anything else (besides, of course, photo editing programs) until you go on the deep end of 3d meshing. watch youtube videos. read tutorials (and resource tags). go wild with what you wanna do. figure out which area you wanna go ham in. poses, recolors, retextures, new meshes, building, decorating, etc. 
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if you’ve been following me for the past couple of months, you know the general jist of this. legally, according to ea’s TOS, anyone is allowed to do whatever with someone’s UGC (cc) even without notifying them. this is when it gets a little crazy.
simblr has the reputation of having rigorous TOUs where you cannot edit at all (or you can with special permission). understandable, it’s just a respect of each others’ rules. people then go to the next step to copyright their cc, which isn’t truly legally correct. i’m no lawyer, but once you put your shit into the .package format (dedicated format for sims content [EA ownership]) then it’s a free for all.
here on tumblr, people can submit DMCAs and take down your posts and give you strikes to your account (three [uncontested] strikes and you’re out within an 18-month period). for example, marigold (sims4marigold) sent me 2 DMCAs over 3 of my posts that recolored/retextured their cc. with my cc respectfully going along their TOU (reminder: this is all just a respect thing), I submitted a counter claim through support (follow the steps it shows > if it doesn’t show, choose the “other” option) and explained how the DMCA was false. 
you will then go through a ridiculous process that will take months. you will need to submit personal information to properly submit a counter, so be wary of that. after that is processed and you agree to all the terms, you will go through a 10-business day process of waiting to see if the DMCA sender rebuts it. typically, such as in my case, they did not so my content was restored after the wait. 
if you were truly falsely DMCA’d, this will be a tedious process and annoying, but it’s worth it. contest to all of them and remove those strikes so your account is not terminated permanently.
and that bout does it! those were the tips i could think of that would benefit newbies in the community and hopefully helped anyone else who was a little confused by certain things. if you have any further questions, please go right ahead and ask!
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mieczyhale · 5 years ago
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throwing together some of my recent/ish hc posts/tags for @hellomyguru bc its a thing, babey (i have no idea what you’ve seen and what you havent bc tumblr really just suck like that so lmao)
my tags on this post::  #HELL YEAH HELL YEAH #more pride hcs!!! noice!!#i love these sfm#like klaus always taking part no matter how bad shit is bc HIS PEOPLE!!! and ben trying to punch picketers and homophobes is fucking adorbs#and i would kill (whoop) for the day klaus makes ben corporeal during pride and ben can punch all the people and then disappear#vanya’s is cute. come to the light darling!!#and diego fksgjf okay listen whether one hcs him as bi or not this is 1000% something he’d do either way#he’s supportive!!! and he has lgbtqa+ family!!! and nobody gets to be mean to his family but him!!#see also:: the first year after the apocalypse is avoided five decides to tag along when klaus saying he’s taking dave to#his very first pride. he not only enjoys himself but he learns a lot and either then or over the course of the following weeks figures his#own labels out - bc i hc five as asexual and i just have a thing for klaus being the all knowledgeable one about something for once#and his siblings learning about gender and sexuality from him and maybe discovering something new about themselves along the way!#except luther. he’s a cis hetero and we all know it#but maybe he learns to be a good ally. maybe#i mean probably not but whatever#allison is the only other person in the family who i’d even consider calling straight#bc there’s nothing wrong with being straight and i just.. dont have another label that i think fits her really well#so yeah ive got gender and sexuality hcs for them all flgkscndn happy pride month bitches
my tags on this post:: #’you’re telling me this happens every year?? for a whole month??!’ #actually i need every possible concept of dave experiencing pride month and seeing how far things have come for gays#like rainbow shit everywhere#and of course the legalization of gay marriage#out and proud gay politicians and gay people in positions of power#the amount of support that comes when homophobic shit happens now#homophobia isnt the accepted norm anymore#another thing i like is the concept of - either during pride or just in general - dave being excited to learn about the community as a whole#his boyfriend is a nonbinary pansexual and klaus has explained before what those words mean but dave wants to really understand#we stan a supportive and loving couple#dave has a lot to learn in 2019 but i think this stuff would be the most important and have the most effect on him yknow??#shit isnt perfect but its better and now he can work on getting passed the environment he was raised in#so he can hold klaus’s hand in public and kiss him around other people without panicking and eventually he proposes because HE FUCKING CAN#HE CAN DO THAT. HE CAN JUST.. ASK HIS BOYFRIEND TO MARRY HIM. LEGALLY.#good fucking shit
my tags on this post:: #did you see the state of the sky in the apocalypse?? there’s a chance he really wouldnt have noticed#i mean like yeah it could be a funny plothole#but there could also be reasons for why thats not something he noticed#or idfk man timeline shit#maybe the moon didnt explode the first time around#maybe it did and there’s just another moon somehow some way#maybe he didnt notice bc he was first too scared and then too frenzied and angry probably and then he had shit to focus on and math to do#and then dolores wanted to go on dates to the local wine cellars and flat empty areas that used to be parks and then there was spending days#in the library together like having a girlfriend is a lot of work okay#maybe five just didnt have the time to slowdown and consider things like space#maybe his headspace was too fucked#sometimes you just forget about the moon - i know i do!#so sfgksncjf okay y e ah
my tags on this post:: #YES!!! #yes yes yes #okay #so#everytime someone mentions or even hints at dave having anger issues i wanna fucking cheer bc thats one of my biggest hcs for him#like yeah he’s sweet and gentle and respectful and all that - genuinely a good man - our lil jewish gay#BUT#he did grow up in the 50s and 60s which as op said would have surrounded him with a lot of toxic masculinity. now i dont think he would be#a toxic kind of masculine AT ALL but it definitely would have forced him to hide his emotions and feelings and idk hobbies and of course his#sexuality. and i say hobbies bc there isnt a canon answer for it i dont think but i personally hc dave as being someone who loves art#specifically: drawing. dave keeping a lil sketchbook and some pencils under the pillow on his cot in vietnam?? yes please#so anyway yeah - he wouldnt have really had any good examples of how to properly take care of your anger - although he has enough#heart and common sense to know its really fucking wrong to take it out on women and children and people one is dating WHICH - another hc i#have that ties into this is that somehow his dad found out that he’s gay and beat the crap out of him over it. because unfortunately thats a#thing that happens. so his main male example was an abusive pos. and then he goes to vietnam which is fine because its not like he has#anyone stateside that will miss him - that will talk to him anymore - and its a warzone so there are a lot of ways to work out your anger#and yeah that of course includes bar fights. and he does - usually - try and keep a hold on his anger until he’s away from anyone who might#feel threatened - and he doesnt wanna end up taking out an innocent on accident - but he’s not actually perfect and so sometimes he fails#and it happens around klaus one time and seeing his love’s reaction - the making himself smaller - trying to hide - going quiet and so#clearly afraid - and not just afraid but afraid OF HIM - freezes him to the core where he stands because nobody has ever reacted like that#before. or if they have he never noticed or cared because they didnt matter. but this is klaus. his klaus. who he loves and would never do#anything to hurt him. his klaus who he protects and defends and knows he wants to spend his life with - no matter how impossible it is#he wants to go to klaus and apologize - try to undo the damage done simply by him raising his voice and lashing out - but he doesnt know#what to say or how to say it - he doesnt know what to do with the situation honestly. so he leaves the tent and goes to take his renewed#anger and frustration out on whatever he can find so he can calm down and hopefully get into the right headspace to have whats#no doubt going to be a really hard conversation with his boyfriend. because where do you even start??#but of course they talk it out and dave promises to work on his anger and on how he lets it out and yknow.. its dave so klaus trusts him and#it takes some time - there are some incidents - but dave works hard and learns a lot from klaus - including how to unlearn a lot of shit he#grew up with - and its rough but having a partner from the future who breaks all kinds of barriers definitely helps#so y eah. those are my brief feelings on it and i wanna marry op 
my tags on this post::   #!!!!!!!!!!!! #YES #i adore this post#i could never pinpoint why the introduction on the bus made me feel like That but this is it!!#its just so sweet and innocent - even surrounded by other soldiers in the middle of a warring country#the innocence and unbearable fucking adorableness of their first convo on that bus just… its so bright and lovely it makes everything else disappear#the only thing that matters is the two guys getting to experience that ‘o h’ moment for the first time in their lives bc their childhoods#never let them have that #i assume#bc like op said klaus didnt go to a regular school and he wasnt p much stuck in that house and then he was on the streets so#and for dave like.. i guess he could’ve had that moment in school? but it would’ve been one-sided and he never would have#told anyone. 1960s. gay jewish man. yeah.#they’re each others first (and only) loves and i just really fucking adore that and live off of posts about them 
my tags on this post:: #what if he wasnt dead-dead though???#bc like… the day five found them all dead was apparently the day the apocalypse happened right? so its not like they’d been dead for days#weeks or w.e yknow??#and the time between klaus dying and coming back is varying and undetermined - there’s no canon timing for the length of his deaths#so what if he came back to life??#like okay i know its not really possible in canon bc five buried them i think?? or is that a fanon thing??#i cant remembering #anyway#but still - in general klaus not being permanently dead in the apocalypse is another possibility#and five didnt know about it bc after finding them all he began his 45 year journey#and klaus wakes up alone and essentially has to learn to survive and he doesnt know five was ever there bc..well.. yeah#five is long gone#maybe klaus lives out his days in that wasteland#and he doesnt remember it where five does bc five time traveled back and klaus didnt. the klaus that got stuck in the#apocalypse is a different klaus - like a different timeline. the klaus from ep1 never got stuck in the destroyed future so#he’d have no knowledge or memories of it or anything#or - second thought - he kills himself at some point after waking up and either begs god to let him stay dead or he strikes some kind of#deal with her so he doesnt have to return to whats left of earth#oooo or something happened that put a lock on his powers?? like yknow those cuffs and devices and stuff in stuff in fantasy that freeze the#users abilities?? that’d be an interesting plotpoint bc then like who did it and why and what was the last day really like? yknow#vanya’s meds but More is the idea #just a thought#but anyway idk im just a big fan of klaus with the inability to die and all the possibilities that brings 
my tags on this post::   #i’ve actually never stopped to consider why he didnt notice them except for my v first tua watch-thru#which is odd bc like that seems like a thing one should notice after a few watches??#but w.e #anyway#my only other hc for that part of the episode isnt that klaus didnt notice them bc he’s used to guns#it’s that he didn’t hear them#or that they weren’t loud enough -to him- to register as gunfire initially#bc like one of my close hcs is that he has bad hearing. growing up with people screaming in your ears 24-7 365 can’t exactly be good for#his ears now can it? and with how loud some of them are and how close they can get to him - without touching him - that’s just.. a lot of#fucking volume okay#now add in the academy’s mission alert siren#how loud he listens to his music with headphones on when he’s trying to drown out some REALLY LOUD SCREAMING#and then being near gunfire growing up. those bank robbers had guns and weren’t exactly a big distance away#all the raves and clubs and parties he goes to?? places where music is played so loud the room shakes and you cant hear anything else and#the music itself can be heard from blocks away?? that’s an indeterminable amount of intense noise#and then of course the gunfire of vietnam#so like… boys ears have SUFFERED. whether they wanna acknowledge that in canon or not#so the shooting at the theater - the shooting thats IN the theater - which is large and meant to house sound#thats happening across a big city street from where they’re standing and they’re behind the food truck and if klaus was ordering when it all#started that was just another level of sound and he’s not exactly focused bc everything is awful yknow?? so either it takes him a second to#notice or register it on his own or maybe he doesnt and ben says something?? idk but that’s kinda the field i’ve landed on for that scene#not that im not here for op’s hc!!! bc it really is a good one and it makes sense. im just rambling my own theory here bc i like considering#the Ways for Things sometimes. esp with klaus involved. this does make me wonder tho… if his hearing somehow is -fine- in canon…. h o w?#bc like bitch who tf can take all that and have perfect hearing?? thats gotta be impossible. if they are fine is it related to his powers#somehow?? like.. does his casual passing between life and death all the time mean he doesnt have mortal ear weaknesses? its weird but im..#i’ve got theories. 
my tags on this post:: #probably in the massive fucking pockets of his fluffy coat#see also:: a dealer’s place #a boyfriend’s place#an ex-boyfriend who is also a dealer’s place#a girlfriend’s place #a partner’s place#all ex’s of course bc dave is the only valid romantic relationship#he made friends with the person who owns a nearby thrift store and they help him out#he has a locker at a public place like the ymca#he only has one outfit before returning to the mansion so he has nothing to carry - ever on the move#he thiefs off of people in rehab and crackhouses he stayed in that are dumb enough to leave their shit unattended#when he sees something he likes or he feels its time for an outfit change#he mostly sticks with his lace up pants as far as bottom pieces go bc its much harder to sneak away with skirts#and the kind of crazy pants he likes. there’s only room for one pair of pants for this pan disaster#after returning to the mansion he has access to the funky gay clothes he had managed to aquire before leaving all those years ago#bc like… i kinda hc that he got out of there fast and probably higher than fuck and had nothing packed#have you ever tried to pack while high?? it’s harder than it has any right to be#crack theory:: he had a bag - we just never saw it bc in the beginning he wore it under his floofy coat bc safety and he didnt need it the#rest of the time.#i have a lot of thoughts and headcanony opinions about klaus’s time on the streets so thank u#for giving me a place to dump some of them   
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ain-t-bovvered · 6 years ago
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14x10 Commentary
Zeta and Giuls scream together, and then die.
Me & Zeta will watch together season 14′s episodes as they come out and we’ll do our commentary while watching.
1 2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9
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14x10 Nihilism 
-I did not want to see Jack like that again thanks
Zeta: true
- And there was a need for some wings there honestly .
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[ comes back crawling]
HERE
Zeta:  the bar sceeeene
-.....THAT’S A DAMN SQUIRREL WITH A AVIATOR CAP ON ( also I re wrote squirrel four times before getting it right) 
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- MOOSE!!! 
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-......The Moose has a tag with “FAMILY BUSINESS” written on it----lol Jensen
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Zeta: What’s her name
- PAMELAAAAAAAA . Damn woman I went a bit Bi there
Zeta: OH YES.
- [Music: and I’m searching for a rainbow] .....WOW
-[on the counter] Daphne loves Fred.
 my monkey dirty brain: Daddy loves tips. 
-hot. want that.
Zeta: the tequila or the bartender?
Bitch please . both.
- D: “ What are we, savages?”
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Zeta: Oh the lips
-Cosmic Cowboy. *chokes*
-FB
-why is it always a ghoul case?
-Lol but who’s the drunk guy tho
Zeta: Bitch, look at her biceps
- some Bi slippage there too I see. FOCUS
Zeta: also indeed. Who is he?
-D:”I’ve never had anything this nice”
Also....I would be like Dean if I had a bar. One for the costumer and one for me! woohoo .
- D: “How come you always have a boyfriend?”
  P: “How come you always want what you can’t have?”
[looks into the camera like in the office]
- D: “This is my dream” 
I kinda see it tho....old grumpy Dean Winchester being the Bobby while running a bar like that. Yes....I like it.
- I knew it . I wanna see someone closed behind that “closet” *wink wink*
Zeta: Oh oh
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Zeta: the slo mo.
-NICE .You are welcome for this gif where I let you enjoy the full over the count jump. Nice healthy middle age man over the fence jump ( nevermind this is an italian oil ad ).
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-The blood. So cute
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Zeta: I’m famous
- mmm
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Zeta: shit
-Hello M boi, I missed you fam
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Zeta: Changed clothes
- OMFG are you saying that the Archangel Michael macVanity von DramaQueen really just angel mojo changed into his Peaky Blinder wanna be in front of them?
He’s so flamboyant , I love him .
Zeta: The close up
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- M making three men kneel with so much as lift his hands.  WHAT A MOOD. WHERE CAN I GET THAT? I WANT 10.
- M : “ I saw everything”  Yeah no shit we kinda see that coming too
-DoN ‘T IntERrUPt mE 
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Zeta: Don’t interrupt me
-I’m-
I’m so bothered right now. Dom Michael for the win
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-OH WOW
- Sam just “assbutted” Michael lol.
Castiel : Sam....did you just molotov my brother with holy fire?
Sam: uh ....No?
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- HE ANGRY
- Dean’s not home right now...
Zeta: Please leave a message
*giggling* I love him
Zeta: His voice GOD DAMN
-yes
- Castiel hair tho.
Zeta: Do you? Cocky much
-but needs to play it cool. Can’t risk to mess up the pomaded hair.
- S:” We the angel cuffs on , Michael is under control”
 M: “Keep telling yourself that “  ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)
I *clap* LOVE *clap* HIM *clap*
- S: “Dump him in the trunk of the Impala” ... DUMP HIM .ahahahahaah
-Garth is in the trunk
Zeta: it’s a big trunk
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-M: “ It’s a party!”
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- J: “ It’s not like any of us can fly”
 M : “ Well one of us can”
 S: “ STFU”
- J:” Sam, are we gonna die here?” ... wow Jack...babe...stfu
-Yes OMG I forgot about the stalky reaper
Zeta: You mess up so many things
- it ain’t wrong
- [in john Mulaney’s Trump voice] we locked Death away and enslaved the reapers
Zeta: Poor Cas
- ok but WHO....death? Michael is asking himself that too.
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-Yes , put him in the dungeon. HOT
Zeta: shit
-I can hear you
Zeta: Shit
-Ahahahahahaahah
Zeta: SHIT
-I’m loving this
Zeta: Bring back Crowley.
Zeta: We left Garth in the trunk looool
- that....everytime we don’t see a character for long that’s it...they are in the trunk.
Zeta: Castiel
-CASTIEL . so strange, I love him, he’s such a sarcastic asshole.
- M: “Yes, uh, put a chair against the door”
Zeta: This pretty smile as I rip you apart
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-I’M SHAKING. YAS.
Zeta: Control yourself
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- S: “Cass this is all we’ve got”
Zeta: Again?
- well it is a loop.
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-MORE SHOTS.  (me)
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Zeta: The only thing missing is “heat of the moment”
- what if the woman is his conscience trying to get him out and if he sign he’s out? ...like....testing his resolution?
-Little insulting
Zeta: you’re nothing
Zeta: Why is he so perfect in this?
- J: “Dean---is strong”
  M *disgusted face*: “ Is a gnat “ . WOW
-OH SHUT UP OOOOH
Zeta: Emotional abuse.
- M: “ he was not happy, but he didn’t care-- Cause you are not Sam, you are not Cass.” 
[ me looking smiling to the Castiel/Misha hateclub]
-M: “You are a weak helpless thing”
- Jack , babe ....get away tho 
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Zeta: LISTEN TO YOUR DAD
- M: “no I’m not and I can still hear you”
Zeta: Prick
- Love that prick..... literally 
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- I care so little for the others I swear
- M: “Look at you, play nursemaind for a nephilim”
-C: “You are confusing loyalty and compassion for weakness”
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Zeta: Damn what am I watching?
- [looks into the camera like in the office] Sexual tension
Zeta: so done. this. Close up
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- M “and now...that I’m in here, I know why” 
-CHUCK
Zeta: He churn our draft after draft
- M speaks like he’s singing and mocking you at the same time. He has this musicality in his speak and I love it
- C: “Why would he do that?”
 M: “BECAUSE HE DOESN’T CARE!”
- good lord I swear all the angels are just brats throwing temper tantrum because they have a trash dad.
- M: “But now , I just want to burn every one of his little worlds until I catch up to the Old man”
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Zeta: Even god can die.
- oh ok....overachiever much
Zeta: Hurt Jack
- No no Jack babe...keep your fucking soul .
Zeta: Cool science project
- Michael’s mind: if you mess up my perfectly combed hair Cass I swear-
- M: “ I give it a solid B- .....uh oooh”
 me nervously: .....wtf lol 
- M: *snorts* Oh Cass, I believe in you.
So rude...so nasty 
- j: “ What should I do?”
Zeta: Pray
-Thanks Cas, that’s-......that’s great
Zeta: You are all mine
- ..... YESSIR TAKE ME
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Zeta: Dean’s mind.
- ..... if it was a funny episode they could have made so many jokes about being empty lol.
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- me looking around haters mind ^
Zeta: This is what you are gonna become
-omg
- THAT WAS DEAN IN HELL.
- Dean’ “NOOOO “ at Castiel death is vibrating into my bones.
- S: “Dean is strong”
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- C: “Sam, we’ve been through a lot and Dean is more than strong”
- S: “Dean thrive on trauma.” 
WE’VE BEEN KNEW
Zeta: Smart moose
- Somebody has been reading some meta tumblr posts
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- P: “You really know how to talk to a lady don’t you?”
 me already at Castiel’s feet : wha
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- That’s us fans watching 14 seasons of supernatural ^
-Bloody Cass is 100. *licks lips*
- P: “get me a shot. With your braaaain”
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Zeta: Well hello.
- C:” That was- that....DeAN ThAt WaS An ACcidENT”
Zeta: Babyyyy
- them baby faces
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- C:” WE NEED YOU TO COME BACK”
- S:”POUGHKEEPSIE”
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- Dean’s mind : [ old modem sounds]
-M [Slow clap it out.] : Hey Fellas
-AND THE HAT IS BACK
Zeta: I’m you
Zeta: He gripped you tight and raised you from perdition
-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAH I’M DYING SO BAD.
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-BITCH I’M DEAD AND GIGGLING I CAN’T.
-but also....but the fuck is Mary at?... like wow.
- also....everything that Micheal is saying right now is causing me actual fucking pain.
- Ok and both Sam and Cas faces? well thanks
Zeta: He’s buying time
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-WOW. Slow smile, oooooH
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-S: “So in here, you are all talk”
- oh that’s why he doesn’t use his powers. Serviceable .
Zeta: So happy. Fuck
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Zeta: Prove it
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- Um...yes hello 911? 
Michael getting his hands dirty is too hot for me.
-Fucking Tiger man.
-Come on baby 
Zeta: Jack will do something “stupid”
- Well he is his parents’ son *shrug*
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Zeta: that
- D:” Then we don’t kick him out, we keep him in”
-oooooh M goes in the closet, lol
Zeta: Oh my god.
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- ....Well that was stupid AHAHAHAAH 
- I can’t stop laughing .
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- M [ROAR] 
  me: ....
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Zeta: I’m the cage.
-HE IS THE CAGE. That doesn’t seem right tho...come on.
Zeta: So now Dean has Michael locked up
-ooooh the magic hurt him. Forgot about that. My baby.
Zeta: Concerned Dad.
- The way Cass say : “you understand?” killed me....so soft...so worried...
- The little smile! Kill me now.
Zeta: He’s not ok.
-Dean is not ok.
Zeta: [henley alert]
-He’s like....naked. ( still has another tshirt under it tho)
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-Oh he’s mad 
- I’M CRYING . HE LOOKS LIKE MY CAT WHEN I REFUSE TO LET HIM OUT .
amazing.
( Sorry for the not that clear gifs but I wanted to cut and past all the bits of that because it’s amazing)
Zeta: He’s suffering so much.
-That troat
- That door is not that sturdy tho
Zeta: Oh hell no
- oh hello death . 
-Aw hell naw.
- Death :” Except one”
-AW HELL NAW
Zeta: Which one?
- UGH
Zeta: No
-NO
Zeta: NOOO so much hurt
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-OH FUCK
Zeta: Actual literal pain in my chest
YA KNOW WHAT?....I DON’T LIKE THAT LOOK .
NOT ONE BIT.
.
- lol I don’t even wanna look at tumblr now
Zeta: well you know me....I have
- of course you did
post gifs comment: I didn’t do my crack gifs for now, but they will be done in a separate post.
.
.
.
.
If you want to get tagged in the future ones send an ask HERE or to @waywardbaby or a smoke signal, idk whatever I’m tired af.
TAGS: @supernatural-teamfreewillpage  @destiel-honeypie   @mariekoukie6661   @dragontamerm    @closetspngirl @rainflowermoon @mattiecat   @bunnybaby121115  @aliaitee @jacks-word-of-the-day @4evamc
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sasuhinasno1fan · 6 years ago
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Interesting flight
And here it is, the end of Klance AU Month. I actually did it, I did a story for every day, well except day 10 but I've done a whole series on YouTuber, I think I was allowed to skip an AU I knew I wasn't good at. A big thanks to @monthlyklance  for moding this event of sorts and being very nice as I sent them link after link of my fics because tumblr wouldn't show my stories in the tag search. Don't know if I'll do this again, maybe when I know time won't be taken up by classes. Wasn't my best fic I think but it's been a long day. Free Day (Single Parent AU)
“Are we going to see granny?” Sylvio asked, watching his uncle feed his little sister.
“Yeah, are you excited?” Lance asked, pulling the empty bottle away from Nadia’s mouth and then handing it to the young boy.
“Yeah, I can’t wait to spend my birthday with them. Uncle Lance?”
“Hmm, what’s wrong?”
“Can we go see mommy and papi?”
Lance’s smile faded a little. Sylvio’s parents, his own older brother and sister-in-law, died in a car crash. Lance had been babysitting his niece and nephew, being the only family member living in L.A like Marco, while everyone was in Florida. He’d just put the kids to sleep, wondering where his brother even was when he got a call. Everything had changed in that night. Being the only one of age that was in the area, Lance had gone from an uncle who was going to start working at the local kindergarten to being a stand in parent. It was hard, having to readjust, having to explain to his nephew that his parents weren’t coming back, to try and calm his niece who’d cry for her parents’ way of calming her. Sylvio had finally understood that his uncle was going to take care of him and his sister from then on, he seemed to grow up. He was only 4, Lance hated that he felt like he should be the one help take care of Nadia when all he should be concerned with was living as a 4 year old. Lance had sent the ashes of Marco and his wife Lisa to Florida to live with his parents after he’d find Sylvio staring at the urn for hours.
“Sure buddy. You need to tell them about all you’ve been up to.”
“We’re about to start boarding for Flight 239 from Los Angles to Florida. Please look at your ticket for your boarding group number. We’d like to invite our first class flyers and membership flyers to start boarding.”
“Grab our tickets buddy.” Lance instructed as he fitted Nadia into the front carrier, feeling her little breaths against his chest. “What number we got?”
“1!” Sylvio called, showing off the tickets to his uncle.
“That’s right. You hold on tight to that ok? I’ll hold our bag alright?”
“We now invite group 1 to board.”
“That’s us! Let’s go Uncle Lance.” Sylvio said, jumping from his seat and running to the line. Lance smiled apologetically to the people who’d been cut off by Sylvio. The flight attendants smiled down at Sylvio as they took the tickets and scanned them before pointing then in the right direction.
“Whoa, buddy, not so fast.” Lance said as Sylvio ran down the corridor to the plane.
“Hello little one.” The flight attendant at the entrance said, helping Sylvio onto the plane. “What’s your name?”
“Sylvio. That’s my sister Nadia and my Uncle Lance.”
“Is it your first time on a plane?”
“Yeah! I’m going to see my granny.”
“Oh, well when you go see her, you’ll have to show her this.” The flight attendant pulled out a pin of wings and attached it to Sylvio’s shirt.
“Uncle Lance, look!”
“Looking good buddy. Can you ask her where our seat is?”
“Oh, where are we sitting?” Sylvio asked, letting the flight attendant look at the ticket.
“You’re number 12 B which means you’re on the left. Do you know where your left hand is?”
“Yes!” he relied holding up his left hand.
“Let’s go buddy. Thank you.”
Using his left hand, Sylvio counted the chairs they passed slowly, Lance reminding him which numbers came next. They reached their seats and Lance had Sylvio climb into the seat by the window when he realised he had a problem. Nadia was still on his chest and he had to lift the carry on suitcase into the overhead bin. He could take her off and lay her down in the seats, but he could feel her start to squirm and he didn’t trust Sylvio to keep her still.
“Do you need help?” Lance looked to see the person standing behind him. he only had a backpack on, his sweatshirt drowning him.
“Um, if you could? I don’t want to risk hitting her.”
“Of course, back up a bit.” Like the suitcase weighed nothing, he picked it up and slid it into the overhead bin. Once it was set, he gestured for Lance to sit down. He waited for Lance the sit in his seat next to Sylvio before pulling his bag off and sitting next to him.
Their seat was the one right after the last first class seat so in no time, Sylvio climbed off his seat and sat on the floor. Lance didn’t say anything as it would still be some time until he had to sit his nephew down again and focused on making sure Nadia’s baby bag, that also held his laptop and tablet he’d given to Sylvio for the trip was under his seat. He didn’t want to have to shove it in the overhead bin. He saw that their aisle mate was the same, shoving his bookbag under his seat.
“Excuse me,” one of the flight attendants asked, “we have basinets if you want one for your daughter?”
“Niece and thank you.” Lance said, patting Nadia as she started to whine a little.
“You probably have time to feed her before we take off.” Their aisle mate said.
Lance looked over at him. he’d stripped his sweatshirt, not bothering to fix his shirt, which even its mess showed his fit figure. He also noticed how long his hair was. It was past his shoulders and looked really soft. He hoped Nadia didn’t spot it. Lisa had long hair so Nadia was used to long hair being near her when she was being held.
“She already ate. Thankfully she got hungry before we had to board.”
The guy looked down at Sylvio who was looking under the seats. “You having fun down there?”
“Uh huh!”
He let out a small laugh, smiling at Sylvio. Thank god, he seemed to like kids. “Cute kid.”
“It’s in his genes. We McClains are adorable.”
“I’m sure.”
Everyone was seated and Lance had coaxed Sylvio up to his seat for take-off. Their aisle mate offered him gum to help with the pressure build-up, letting Sylvio take an extra one. Nadia had dozed off and Lance hoped she’d stay like that for a while. Sylvio’s eyes were glued to the open window as the plane went down the runway and started to pick up speed.
“We’re going fast!”
“Keep chewing buddy, it’ll help your ears.” Lance said.
Soon the plane tipped up and they took off. Sylvio’s chewing slowed as he watched the world below the plane grow smaller. Lance glanced down as Nadia’s face scrunched up. He gently shushed her, hoping she stayed asleep. As they got higher though, she moved around more and woke up crying. Lance groaned in his head. Crying baby and they weren’t allowed to move around yet, just his luck.
Sylvio, thank god, turned away from the window and started asking his sister what was wrong. Usually it would calm her down slightly but Lance guessed the pressure was hurting her too much for her to pay attention to her brother.
“Is it the pressure bothering her?” His aisle mate asked.
“Yeah, I’m really sorry.”
“It’s fine, really. I know people get annoyed by it but babies can’t really control these things.”
Lance was extremely grateful of the understanding man. Finally the seatbelt sign turned off and Lance blocked out what the head flight attendant was saying as he undid his seatbelt and was let out by the still slightly ruffled man. “Sylvio, stay here ok?”
“Ok.”
Lance tried to ignore the looks he got as Nadia continued to cry. He hadn’t gotten the chance to grab her pacifier though he doubted she’d keep it in her mouth. He gently shushed her, bouncing as he tried to calm her down. Thankfully her cries lessened but she still whined loudly.
“Shh, shh, you’re ok.” He whispered when he saw the same man coming towards him. he moved away from the bathroom thinking he was heading there.
“Your, um, nephew, asked me check on you?”
“Sylvio yeah. He knows he can’t do it himself. You don’t have to.”
“I don’t mind. What’s her name?”
“Nadia.”
“Nadia.” He called, standing next to Lance. “Nadia.”
Hearing a new voice, Nadia tired looking for it, her whining quieting some.
“Do you want to try holding her?”
“If it’s ok.”
“Sure. Help me?” he asked, pointing to the buckle on his back.
It was unclipped and Lance slipped the handles off, keeping Nadia close to him. he let the other man take her, easily taking her into his arms.
“You’re pretty good.”
“My brother has a kid, I volunteered at their day-care.”
Nadia’s whining stopped as she stared up at the new face. She blinked and reached out her hand.
“Wait, Nadia, no!” Lance said as she gripped his hair, holding it firm in her grip. Her gaze was completely fixed on the long black strands in her fist. “I am so sorry. She has a thing with hair, she doesn’t let – no don’t put it in your mouth! Oh god, Nadia.”
“It’s ok. I mean there are worse ways to spend a flight. I never did introduce myself, I’m Keith.” He said, his hand pulling Nadia’s fist away from her mouth.
“Lance, hi. Um, she’s not going to let go.”
“It’s ok, I don’t mind holding her. Besides, you still have your nephew to worry about.”
“Um, right. Thanks.” Lance pulled off the carrier entirely and lead them back to there seats where Sylvio stared at his sister in Keith’s arms.
“She liked his hair?”
“You know your sister. Do you want your tablet?”
“Yes please.”
“How old is he?” Keith asked letting Nadia stand on his lap so he wouldn’t risk her pulling out his hair.
“4.”
“He talks a lot for a 4 year old.”
“Another gene of McClains, we don’t have an off switch.” Lance said, opening the armrest to pull out the try for Sylvio, letting him navigate the tablet on his own. “So you volunteer at your um?”
“Nephew. I picked him up one day and was asked to stick around to help with something and the next thing I knew, I kept going back. I work in security so kids except my nephew I never thought were my forte. Turns out I’m not bad with them.”
“I can tell. I work at a kindergarten and I don’t think I’ve managed to calm a fussy kid down the quickly.”
“I guess you’d be good with kids. You got Sylvio very worried about you.”
Lance gained a pain smile on his face, “it for a different reason. Their parents died a while back. I went from babysitting uncle to new dad in a night.” Looking over at Sylvio who focused on the tablet. “Sylvio had to understand that so young. When I dropped him off to school on the first day back, he wouldn’t stop crying for hours and of course seeing her brother cry made Nadia sad.”
“That must have been a lot.”
Lance nodded. “It was. Parenting is terrifying enough. It’s hard but a smile from either of these two makes it feel worth it.”
“I know they must apr-Ow!” Keith was cut off when Nadia pulled on his hair.
“No Nadia.” Lance said, pulling her fist open, even though she whined. Keith sat her on his lap and gave her his hand to play with. “Again, really sorry.” He said, pushing Keith’s hair off his shoulders.
“Here’s that bassinet.” The flight attendant came and attached the carrier onto the wall in front of them, pressing down on it to make sure it was stable. “Let’s give your boyfriend’s lap a break.
“Oh, uh, he’s not my boyfriend.” Lance corrected, feeling his cheeks getting hot.
“What’s a boyfriend?” Sylvio asked, Lance frowning at him.
“Now you pull your attention from the tablet. Don’t worry about that silly.”
“Sorry, it’s just she seems so comfortable on his lap and he seemed so nice to you as you were boarding. My apologies. We’ll start the drink service soon.”
“Thank you.” Once the flight attendant left, Lance turned to Keith. “I honestly feel like all I’m doing is apologizing.”
Keith lifted Nadia off his lap and placed her in the basinet, watching her look around. “It’s ok. I can certainly say this is one of the most interesting flights I’ve been on.”
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irregulardiaryposts · 3 years ago
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00:53 21/06/2021
Hello again <3
so i think im gonna write about my mental health today because i dont feel like i have anyone who understands fully apart from myself maybe so i need to Organise my Thoughts. as a kid i had a pretty normal childhood, a mum a dad and a brother - pretty nuclear right. but as a child i felt like my family maybe wasnt quite right, that this wasnt supposed to be what family is? perhaps. - i was scared of my mum a lot because she wasnt very understanding of me - and i was a great kid, never getting into trouble, very good at school, no issues whatsover. the thing that really shows how i thought of my relationship with my mum was when i was like maybe 8 or so having a parents night and at it my teacher had nothing bad to say apart from i was kinda bossy in group settings (im sure i dont need to explain how misogynistic that actually is- i was not bossy i was a natural leader) and when i got home my mum told me off for that and i felt like she was kinda cold to me and not taking all the good things about me into consideration when telling me off for that.
i feel like thats a really defining moment in my life when i realised i cant expect adults to Understand me, realised how people treat young girls, also started my defiant behaviour maybe or was kinda one of the key moments that made me dislike certain authorities in my life, that if people wont understand me regardless of how i explain myself then i wont bother trying to be understood by people who wont matter to me. anyway yes i was scared of my mum-like petrified sometimes- but my dad wasnt great either, he also had his shortcomings. i feel like he never really cared about me like he was kinda apathetic towards raising me like a parent - i feel he would be better suited as an uncle to someone rather than a dad - the funny childish guy that makes kids laugh -not the uncaring dad that cant be bothered to really learn about his kids. and i feel im sitting here complaining about my parents when the fact is that a lot of adults should never be parents, society has conditioned people into thinking the only way to be fulfilled in life is to live vicariously through your kids when life gets to such a boring and monotonous place where you feel the need to create a new life to spice things up lmao. i feel a lot of parents regret having kids but they cannot express that regret because it was their choice and they should deal with that, also saying you regret it would be pretty horrible to the kid.
so while yes i am complaing about my parents i dont think they were Bad in any way just not that great yaknow. also i just notice all these things growing up and i feel its been pretty impactful to understanding myself and my parents. also just some anecdotes from my childhood - i used to watch my dad play video games like the uncharted games i think theyre called, and whenever i got scared i used to hide behind the couch until the scary part was over (usually a lot of guns and high energy fight scenes thats too much adrenaline for a 7 yo) and sometimes when i would take out my dad/brothers game i would get them to fo the hard parts and do other stuff myself - i dont remember many games i played apart from one of the spidermen games where u could just web around the city and not progress apart from sometimes you would come across some strippers and i accidently got into a fight with them (also hot women with umbrellas they use to fight- maybe i went near them on purpose) i would yell to my dad and get him to do it for me. also on new years eve whenever my mum was working and we werent going to any family parties we would make a bunch of food and put it out in the kitchen - wed make like homemade onion rings, chips, have crisps and dips, and a bunch of junk basically and watch like austin powers or some shit and genuinely miss those times they were so simple. but a lot of thats tainted now from what happened. also my brothers always been annoying as shit but when we were kids we couldnt be in the same room without arguing which like whatever thats how kids are esp brothers and sisters for some reason.
i think thats majority of the background needed for the rest. wait this is a little addition but i meant to mention this here so ill put it in- basically sometimes on holidays i would geniunely think my parents hate each other/ were getting a divorce like once when we were in florida in 2012 my dad convinced my mum (as well as me and my brother convinced her since we liked them) we convinced her to go on a water slide thing that u had to walk up the stairs for, it was outdoors, and it was kinda tall and then we got in one of the big donut things and it swooshed from side to side a lot and was generally pretty scary i suppose for someone who doesnt like rides esp since you had to hold on to the handles there were no buckles or anything, and so when we got off the ride my mum was big mad at my dad and like wouldnt talk to him and stuff like that which was pretty uncomfortable to have to be the 8 year old mediator of that but there was also another occasion i think (maybe also at florida) where they were made at each other and i asked my mum if they were getting divorced and all she said was 'ask ur dad' like???? no sort of consolation to this child who thinks their parents hate each other nooo just petty 'ask him' and theres also been other times when they fight/ are mad and they dont feel the need to hide it from us so i felt quite anxious around my parents sometimes.
so ahnyway . yes. when i had just turned 13 my parents split up and it fucked me up in a multitude of ways. also i cant beleive i stopped being a proper kid at 13, like as soon as i turned a teenager life hit me like a fucking truck. so the context as to why they split is still kinda lost to me ngl but they didnt tell me much anyway since i was young but my mum basically said my dad didnt love her anymore and he wanted to separate. its kinda funny because leading up to this my dad had been sleeping in the living room for like a few weeks and there was on and off fighting i could hear and i basically thought they were fighting over me and that i was in trouble and it kinda used to keep me up coz i could hear loud voices when they thought i was asleep- which is probably the cause of why i get veryyyy mad and angry when i hear my mum at like 1 am downstairs when shes drinking and im trying to sleep, probably something ive internalised (is that the word?) and made me respond so strongly to those type of noises.
anywayyyyy yes i thought i was in trouble when they were actually just getting a divorce so ... yeah you can really tell i was young and didnt understand adult issues or really couldnt figure this out myself from all the arguing and him sleeping downstairs lmao. anyway my dad moved out and it was just me my mum and my brother now and at this point my brother wouldve been about to turn 18, so although still kinda shit, not really as affected my it as a 13 yo, just to keep in mind. so i was devastated obviously and my whole world was kinda shattered but i had to hold it together a bit, also i was sometimes my mothers own therapist having to say things like 'everything happens for a reason' 'itll get better' in response to her deteriorating mental health and her questions that would be really hard for me to answer like 'why did he leave' etc (bish im a child be there for me not wallow in ur own pity, u have ur whole life to sort this out youre an adult, im a 13 you and only months away from wanting to kms hun think of ur CHILD please) anyway this left me feeling like a burden if i were to share my mental state because when my mum shared her stuff she was burdening me (AGAIN i was 13 she is an adult) so that made me bottle a lot of things up also the fact that i had no one to share it with because she works as a nurse and now shes a single mother and so she works almost all hours of most days and i dont see her much, my brother was either working at this time or just didnt give enough of a shit about me to make sure i ate.
i went from being catered to for every meal because i didnt know how to cook to suddenly no one being there for me so i had to learn how to do it myself. needless to say that lead to a bunch of unhealthy eating habbits like eating the same things every day - frozen pizza, cheese toasties, i cant think of anything else probs because i didnt make anything else just ate chocolates or didnt eat breakfast coz i woke up at 2pm. just general unhealthyness both in substance and like how healthy that was for my head yk. also this is during the summer btw so it gave me the option to be incredibly depressed - im not saying that as an edgy teen thing to say im being 100% genuine i was very depressed like textbook style - not eating or overeating, not showering/ taking care of myself, extreme lack of energy and hated doing social things coz i had to put on a farce that i was okay meanwhile i couldnt wait to get into my bed and sleep the next day and a half away.
i very vividly remember at the start of the summer holiday my friend asked me if i wanted to go out and do something and i rememeber just crying at that because i had no reason to say no but i just didnt want to and felt like i couldnt do anything and so i lied and said i wasnt feeling well and then put my phone down and curled up in my bed and cried coz i was frustrated and upset and i couldnt really understand what was wrong with me and why i was Like This.
god i didnt take into account how tired i was and how late it is when i started this huh, this isnt even half of it, but i have obligations in the mornign, the last until uni or whatever so ill put this in my drafts and finsih it somethime. alrigtht it is 02:08 btw z_z. also ive just now decided im gonna re organise my tumblr so if this ends up being an actual blog thing i can navigate it easier by adding tags and such. anywau goodnight.
20:21 30/06/2021
MOTHERFOIUHIFIUDVMKCVKM V
MY LAPTOP SHUT DOWE IN THE MIDDLE OF THSAT SO ITS ALL GONE BASICALLY I WAS DEPRESSED BURTNOUT GIFTERD KID AND IT SUCKED YADDa YADDSZ ANYTWAY
so
23:01- well. yes earlier i wrote a little about the ages 13-16 and how they sucked but whatever it got deleted the more pertinent stuff happened in the last year or so anyway.
um yeah so i started the last year of highschool as a 16 year old with a fucked up brain and never having learned any study techniques or work ethic in the slightest. i took 3 uni-level courses only one i actually wanted to do, most people take 2 at most or even 1/0 but do other classes. honestly it fucking sucked this year for school but i scraped all passes so thank god for that. so i started the year quite optimistic, or as much as i could be and in all fairness the content of this year wasnt actually that bad considering i was doing 3 hard classes but corona really truly fucked everything up and by November i had mentally dropped out of my classes but of course i still had to go to them. i feel like im an oddly independent teen because ive never had a solid parental presence in a while, like i had to do a lot for myself and maybe i should thank myself for getting me through it all because i really did pull through.
my thoughts keep drifting from what im writing coz i wanna talk about different things and im just thinking maybe i shouldve just posted the last one then added a reblog when i could be bothered to write and not force myself because if theres ever a reoccurring theme in my life is that if i force myself to do anything i will hate it with my entire being, so maybe i should just do a short synopsis and write about something else afterwards.
so i took 3 hard classes, slowly lost all motivation because in jan it switches to online classes and i could Not deal with those it was horrible, and i became more of a "troublesome student" in one of my classes *cough* maths *cough* and almost got "kicked out" of taking the class just because the teacher was a control freak but like wanted to control all of our actions and behaviour, also i think i may have adhd and another kid in my class i think he does too and surprise surprise the teacher "dislikes" him too but its only a farce because he doesnt actually dislike him its only so that i cant call him out for singling me out when other students behave "badly" too. but anyways maybe ill come back to this in a while when i can be arsed explaining my complicated relationship with my parents.
the only reason i wanted to write this today was so that i could tag the post with like june 2021 or something and not june/july, but i might make another post later, Anyway happy end of pride month i supose, hope u figure it out me!
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thats-so-seventeen · 7 years ago
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I’ve been going through the stuff you guys leave in the tags lol
Y’all are funny. (Long Post)
I literally probably went through about the last half of this blog and read through all your tags, newest to oldest.
On the recent van gogh joke @star-eyes-sunshine
#AMY WHY OMG
I just thought that was really cute? more on that later
On the the8/jun pictures spilling out of pockets post, @siirdber said
#me abt any kpop idol
Like, me too?? same
Then on the jun/coups “who did it” post, @leapmonthdance called svt “memeteen” which i thought was hilarious
And then @merrilywefall said
#It was probably actually Joshua
while @thewintersobber decided
#spoiler: wonwoo did it #youll just never find out
Fight fight fight fight
But also a contender: On the “boy’s night done right” post @bangtanbombdotcom called svt “sevenmeme”
...
Fight fight fight fight
(I’m just playing lol)
@justsomekpopstuff tags everything these days with “net neutrality” and I dont really get it because i dont really know anything about net neutrality because i’m australian, so it doesnt affect me. Sorry to all my american followers?? but also, thanks for the compliments on my sister's little svts
@teagirl9501 gave a compliment in the tags too
I also appreciate @michi-mischka using the lenny face on a verkwan post lol. me too, babe, me too
And on another post, @multifandomstruggles saying
#yall im ded #this is funny as shit
was just so hilarious to me?? I dunno. hilarious
and then! AND THEN! On the Seungkwan spagetti post @jeonscheol said
#who toucha my spaghet
like?? why do this to me? lol
Anyway, it seems that the most common tags are always along the lines of the following with varying spelling success:
#i'm fckn screaming
#i'm dying
#lmao
#accurate
#same
also, I really love it when I see tags like
#tag yourself im...
Through the tags I've also discovered that @stanleyvincentwrites is jeonghan's bday twin, which is cool. Mine is Exo's D.O lol
On the “McDonalds/In the car with....” post @andytrackable (which tumblr wont tag, i’m so sry) told me only mingyu and jeonghan confirmed licenses, thanks bro. And on the same post @we-live-the-fandom-life said
#god every member of seventeen is so pretty
I didn’t think it was relevant, but its definitely true ahaha
Then with the Wonwoo edible arrangements post @goinggoing17 tagged
#why is this literally something wonu would do #love his emo ass
And I’m like
same
Also, @sominbiased i saw you tag that verkwan eloping post as
#fic ref
umm, imma need to see that if you write it lol
And then with dark quotes aka quotes about alcoholism and shit, yall taggin yourselves and im just like??? yall okay???
And on the "Z is just a sideways /pls stop it/Zo" post @memesoltrash said
#this might be funnier to me because in dutch zo means ‘that’s how’#or ‘like that’
which i think is preeeetty coolio
On another verkwan @divaaboo said
#honestly story of my life #I’m such an awkward kid
i feel ya, boo, i feel ya
No context needed, @dreamingwishes said
#id hug tf out of jihoon
same
On a jun/the8 post @moon-minghao said
#this is possibly the most accurate junhao thing anyone could ever create
And i’m like "oh! that makes me happy to hear!"
And yeah, like i was saying, @star-eyes-sunshine is so nice? they're the only one who refers to me by name in the tags. When i put all the svt answer time answers together they said,
#amy's a blessing for compiling these
like, thank you so much? you're such a sweetheart omg
@yellowsweater-wonwoo once said:
#coups only has dr pepper and milk @ the dorm n thats it
I dont know why that seems so right but it does???
Oh, and @woazi feels me on the no aju nice dance version if their comment "BITCH IM STILL SJHSKSJSIS" is anything to go by.
Also shout out for @1bias-12biaswreckers and @daegu-bois for both giving their amens of the post that was like "Joshua: My love for Jesus Christ, can I get an amen."
On the "Seungcheol: I'm dad inside" post @jhnhui said
#this isn't even a shitpost this is just. the truth
um? Nothing on this blog is a shitpost?? they totally said these things?? Is says so in the bio?? lol
And y’all tag your friends! Which is cute! So cute! Like, I dont know who abby and dea and aurora and seamus are, but i hope yall are doing good? I dunno ahaha
And @poro-liv once tagging a minghao post wiht
#A THUGHAO CLASSIC
Yes! I forgot that THUGHAO was a thing lol. Like, I always make minghao a bit of a thug but i forgot we had a name to go with it lol
And btw, I’m really bad with ship names so i always forget them but yall always use them in the tags, so that’s pretty helpful.
On the “He is a fucking salty bitch. There’s definitely a shank in his bag.— Chan about Seungkwan, probably” post @norwegiankpop said
#ME about seungkwan tbh #he's my bias for a reason
SAME
(also, I dont remember posting half of these quotes lol)
And @fabulousfoxes and @piercethejavo both got excited over a supernatural ref once upon a time lol
@adoretu​ had this to say about badboy Josh:
#support Hong Jisoo ur local badboy
While @mans-ayyye​ thinks:
#josh no #u is a sof smol #stay gentle boo
Same with @guksuu​:
#josh you're too much of an angel
2 v 1 FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT
Once agian, no context needed with @see-bun-teen​ saying:
#i live for verkwan
Sameee
Anyway, after going through about half the blog, I’ve given up. Maybe one day I’ll do this for the first couple hundred posts on the blog though. Dont hold your breath lol
(Admin Amy)
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ignaviias · 7 years ago
Text
im keeping with last years tradition so here we go for this years big ol gay post im putting it here bc its the place where i can tag the most people since i dont use twitter much anymore anyway the Gay is under the cut
 IRL PEOPLE 
 @edgy-blackberry 
fuck you!!!!!!!!!!! but on a serious note i really love having you as a friend!! im glad we're still in contact even though we cant do the whole sit around the table at lunch shit anymore (bc sixth formers """"""arent allowed"""" . bih. i do what i want) youre really funny nd ald just real nice so like Ideal content you also put up with my fucken Constant shit in the server bc i have zero self control and am too passionate abt bmc and whatever else is my interest at the time heck yeah ALSO I LOVE MILO. TELL MILO I LOVE HIM.
@gaminginfections 
bitch do you even use tumblr anymore??????? idk if youll see this but fuck it anyway!!!!!! ur one of my closest irl friends!!!!! me you and jess are the worst team because we cant be trusted to do anything but thats okay because i love it youre a really nice person like if me and jess are Sad (tm) you always try and help nd thats Excellent i know that sometimes you dont feel as involved bc me and jess have known eachother longer but that doesnt make you any less important to us!! and like above, please tell evie i love her. this is important fuck 
do i know anymore irl people on here that i can tag . fuck it moving on 
 NON IRL PEOPLE 
 im sorry if i miss anyone out!!! dont take it personally im just really fucking shit
@inthenameofsverige 
i dont talk to you often but youre a really chill person!!!!!! youre always there to give nice comments nd i like having you around!!!!! i Love tally and im thankful for the photos and updates you post because i would absolutely die for her love u sweden !!!!!!!!!!
@funkyrooks 
youre!!!  a really good pal!!!!!! youre such a sweet person nd i love you in dnd too !! love bewick!!! and you also make the notes which are life savers bc i have those sweet concentration issues I hope things with uni are going well for you !!! 
@winstoneroticroleplay 
i cant believe i have to have this cursed username in my gay post anyway !! gob!!! i dont speak to you much at all outside of dnd but youre such a chill dm its great - when i first joined i didnt know you but youre the kind of person whos so easy to get along with also you put up with all of our bullshit in dnd and we love you for that 
@enid-is-a-lesbian 
youre another person i dont speak to a lot but youre a really funny person and meeting you at mcm was really fun!! even though i saw you last year we never really all got to talk properly??? i dont count that as much of a meeting but like. this year. good fucken year the chicken incident remains in my heart always and the way that you launched yourself off the chair for that sweet chicken 
@creirdyddlydd 
we literally only met like a few weeks ago but !! heck!! i love rping with you in that chat!! i love the way you play jeremy n im glad that i managed to join it bc its been really fun !! i hope we can keep rping in the future too !! - this applies to like everyone else in that server too but i dont know yalls usernames
okay. okay. these are the Gay ones im putting you two as combined gay then breaking it down to individuals after
 @arvoze and @octovine
 i. love. you two. WUV YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! youre honestly some of The most important people to me and i wouldnt want to change that for the world youre both so fun to be around and i love how easy it is to talk to you and how easy it was at mcm as well i wish i could go back to mcm and do it all over again because i loved it so much and leaving was so hard and i wont lie i was on the verge of tears while i walked away if im ever in a bad way and things seems so shit just like? talking to you two and pissing about makes everything so much better and im so mad we all dont live near eachother like this is homophobia let me be gay irl
 individuals time
lewis;  YOU. (the temptation to just leave it as this was overbearing) you were one of the first people i ever properly spoke to?? you were so chill and easy to approach so it made it so much easier for me to get closer to everyone else as well i owe you a lot because without you i probably wouldnt have spoken to anyone on that server??? iconic going to present time ; youre always sweet so and nice youre like a fucking dad w the way you reblog my shit i love it youre also always willing to help people even if theyve caused issues and stuff nd i love that!!!!! real fucken mvp!!!! wewis i wuv you 
 jack;  also wuv you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im so glad youre around because i love your sense of humour (you and lewis are the fucken Dream Team) i also Love your art like ?? its a really good style brent. and if i wasnt supposed to be saving money for iceland/uni i would be comissioning you an unfortunate amount of times i know you dont always feel appreciated but trust me when i say you absolutely are nd if you ever need to talk to anyone or just vent shit at then like. hit me up youre really important to me so i want to make sure youre okay!!!!
 --
 like i said earlier sorry if i missed people !! i love you all :* 
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