#like yeah I'm making new friends at uni but...

[insistonyourcupofstars]

Oh god, I miss my friends

[tiddiesoutwhenthetisout]

not me curling my laptop charger wire the way you curl band equipment cords HAHAHA god i miss it

[perilegs]

it's funny that now that i don't really have much about my body to be dysphoric about my brain makes up psychological dysphoria and it's so dumb

[petew21-blog]

Go on and possess me

Hi, my name is Ethan Baker. I'm about to graduate this year at my high school. Me and friend, Matthew, are gonna go to the same university so I'm really excited to go. Unfortunately my girlfriend, Betty, is gonna go to a uni in a different state. I really love her and we spoke about long distance, but ever since I mentioned, that I wouldn't go to the same uni as her, I started to feel that she was sort of slipping away from me. I truly love her, so I started working out and even joined the football team. She seemed proud of me, but there was still tension between us. We still want to fix our relationship, but I don't know what else to do.

Monday 7 PM

Ethan was chilling in his room, watching Tiktoks when his sister, Chloe, suddenly stormed into the room with a weird grin on her face.

Chloe:"Sup, twerp"

Ethan:"You need something? No? Piss off."

Chloe got close to him and sat on the bed. "Oh, don't be like that. I come in peace. Actually, I was thinking you could give me a review of my new bra." she took off her shirt and squeezed her breast while looking at Ethan. "It makes them look nice doesn't it?"

Ehtan:"What the fuck, Chloe?!?"

Chloe:"Oh Ethan. How I miss a human touch on my tits. I need someone to fondle them, to kiss them." she got close to shove herself against Ethan, but he moved away quickly and jumped off the bed, clearly weirded out.

Ethan:"What the hell is wrong with you? Are you NUTS?"

Chloe started laughing hysterically, but it wasn't her usual laugh. "Dude, I can't believe I managed to prank you. You should see your face."

Ethan:"Chloe? What is going on?"

Chloe:"Man, It's ME! Matt! I found a ring and I got the power to possess someone. First I possesed our dog and couldn't get out for hours. I really wanted to let you know, but I accidentally possesed Chloe. So I thought I'd mess with you a bit."

Ethan:"This is not possible. If... if you're really Matt, tell me something Chloe wouldn't know."

Matt:"Let's see. Party in the cabin, truth or dare. You were dared to make out with me in front of everyone, but you chickened out. But later in the evening when we were alone and drunk, we made out. But you claimed you're not a homo. Haha."

Ethan:"Fuck. Matt? How the fuck is this possible? Is it reversible?"

Matt:"I don't know, but I managed to get out of our dog, so let's see." Chloe’s face made a grin as if she was really trying to concentrate. Suddenly a figure trying to get out of her body appeared. And after a few seconds Matt stood behind Chloe.

Chloe looked around confused:"How did I get here?"

Matt:"You came to scream at us for being loud."

Chloe:"Right. Yeah, stay quiet you idiots." she left not noticing that her shirt was missing

Ethan:"Why doesn't she care?"

Matt:"Don't know, but I had this feeling after leaving her body, that I can manipulate her memories for a while."

Ethan:"Holy shit. I can't believe it. You have a super power. Can you imagine what we can do with that? You can erase our bad grades as our teacher, you can send us money as some millionaire."

Matt:"Or I can possess a hot chick and you can fuck me."

Ethan:"That's disturbing, man. Besides I am loyal to Betty."

Matt:"Right. The girl that won't allow you to fuck her."

Ethan:"Shut up. At least I have a girlfriend. Let's talk about your power."

The two spend hours in Ethan's room trying to come up with a plan how to improve their lives. Their main concern was to get revenge on a bully, posses teachers to get better grades and maybe later on get some cool stuff as well.

Matt looked concerned:"Ethan, I'm not really sure about possessing a guy."

Ethan:"Why?"

Matt:"Possesing a dog was easy. Your sister was a bit of an accident, but she struggled too. So I'm worried that a strong guy would be able to resist me."

Ethan:"I guess you'll have to try and see."

Matt:"I might have a better idea." Matt looked deep into Ethan's eyes.

Ethan:"No, way. I'm not letting you possess me. I know what kind of a pervert you are."

Matt:"Come on, I need to practice. And what a better chance to do it than fail later on?"

Ethan thought about it for a while. "Fine. But you'll let me see what you're doing or leave me if it won't be possible. Ok?"

Matt:"Deal"

The two of them got up and stood across each other.

Matt had a grin on his face, while Ethan didn't seem really pleased with the idea of his friend controlling his body.

Matt:"Ready?"

Ethan:"Seriously, no touching."

Matt:"Promise"

Matt stepped against Ethan and dived into him. Ethan felt as if some force was trying to pressure him from all sides. He tried to resist, but it was so much stronger.

He didn't know what happened in the following moments, but a flash from his phone "woke him up".

Ethan:"What the... Matt. Matt?!?" he heard his voice, but he didn't see his mouth move

Ethan's body posed in front of the mirror taking a photo with his shirt off

Matt:"Finally. I didn't know how to wake you up. I knew the flash would help."

Ethan:"And my shirt off would help you how?"

Matt:"I thought if I'd do anything you wouldn't agree with, it would wake you."

Ethan:"Right. Am I really suppose to believe that?"

Matt:"Maybe I just checked myself out in the mirror, just to look at your football body. I haven't even got the chance to flex yet. All I noticed was your nice figure and your tight ass jeans. Honestly, looking good bro."

Ethan:"Thanks. At least someone thinks so. Jesus, this is so weird. Seeing my body move without me controlling it."

Matt:"Can you feel anything?"

Ethan:"Yeah, I think I can. So far I felt every movement. But I'm not sure if I can feel everything"

Matt took Ethan's index finger, licked it and pushed it into Ethan's ear.

Both of them felt that disgusting feeling.

Ethan:"Why did you do that?"

Matt:"Now we know you feel everything. But if you wanna be sure, I can push it in your ass."

Ethan:"No! Ok, we know what we needed, right? You can leave me now."

Matt smiled mischievously. "We haven't even had any fun like this. It's the first out of many times we're sharing a body, just imagine what it's gonna be like to get drunk, to eat, to take a shit together, to cum or fuck someone."

Ethan:"You're not doing that in my body. Forget about that."

Matt turned to the mirror again and scanned his body.

Matt:"Honestly. What's up with Betty? You look really great, man. I don't know what her problem is." he finished speaking and started unbuttoning his pants.

Ethan:"What are you doing? We had a deal"

Matt:"Relax. I just wanna check you out in your boxers. See what the deal is about." The jeans felt on the floor.

Matt:"Woah. Look at you. Looking good, Ethan. And check out these guns. I really don't understand that bitch. If I were her, I'd fuck you the first chance I'd get."

Ethan:"Don't talk about her like that. She... she just doesn't know what she wants."

The doorbell rang. Chloe went to answer the door.

Chloe screamed.l:"Ethan! It's Betty."

Matt:"Ooooh, this is gonna be fun. LET HER IN!"

Ethan:"Matt, you have to leave. You can't talk to Betty. You'll screw it up for me."

Matt:"Relax. At least we'll see if it's not you she's worried to have sex with."

Ethan:"Matt, don't you dare. You promised."

Matt:"Shhh. No more talking."

Betty:"Who are you talking to?"

Matt:"Hey, honey. No one. Just talking to myself. What's up?"

Betty:"Ethan. I came to talk to you. I didn't want to do it over the phone."

Ethan:"She's gonna break up with me. Fuck."

Betty:"I really thought for a long time about us, but..."

Ethan felt as if a giant weight was lifted from him. It took him a moment, but he could move again. On his own.

Betty:"... but I decided that we should take next step in our relationship."

Ethan wasn't sure, what happened to Matt, but he was really surprised by Betty's response. "Wait, really?"

Betty:"Yes. I'm ready."

Ethan couldn't believe it. It was finally about to happen.

They collapsed on the bed, embracing each other. Ethan started making out with her, while her body pressed on his hardening bulge. Ethan took off her shirt and touched her breasts. Betty touched his hard dick over the boxers amd then slid her hand in his boxers and started jerking him off. Ethan kissed Betty's neck which caused her to moan.

Betty:"Oh yeah. Fuck me."

Ethan:"You're so hot, Betty."

Betty:"Finger me!"

Ethan was shocked by her new horny attitude, but slid his hand down and pushed one finger in.

Betty:"Ohh yeah. That's the stuff, dude."

Ethan:"Dude?!? Matt?!?" Ethan jumped away from him. "What the fuck?! You can't do stuff like this. To me or Betty. This is not right."

Matt was now enjoying his breasts and looking seductively at Ethan. "You know you want to fuck me, Ethan. I have been a bad, bad girl."

Ethan:"No, not like this. I want you to leave. her body"

Matt in Betty's body:"Fine, but I'm not promising anything else this time." Betty's hand reached out to Ethan. The same feeling, but now much stronger took over Ethan.

Ethan body continued to move over to Betty. "You're so hot, Betty. "

Betty looked around confused. She was shocked as she found her own fingers in her vagina and the other hand fondling her breasts. "What... what happened?"

Matt:"You said you were ready and then you threw yourself at me."

Betty:"I... I have to go. I'm... I'm sorry, Ethan. I can't..." she grabbed her stuff and stormed through the door of Ethan's bedroom.

Matt:"You could at least suck me off. Ah... whatever. We don't need her, right Ethan?"

Matt closed the door and approached the mirror.

Matt:"Look at us, Ethan. We are so hot. The abs, the nipples. The hairless body. The muscles. We can have anyone. We can fuck anyone."

Ethan:"Matt, stop this. I know the power is taking over your mind. But I can help you control this. Just leave my body."

Matt:"Ethan, don't worry. I won't do anything you wouldn't do, man. I'm still your friend." an evil grin appeared on Ethan's face.

Matt:"Have you thought about gay sex, Ethan? You would be really popular in the gay community."

Ethan:"You just said you wouldn't do anything I wouldn't..."

Matt:"That's why I'm asking. I'm just checkinh what my options are right now."

Matt:"Well, we still haven't had proper time to explore our new shared body together, right?"

Ethan:"Matt, you have a great body of your own. Or you could take over someone else. Some jock maybe."

Matt:"But I'm you now. I want to get us to know each other better. Don't you want to be better friends? I mean. I could possess your sister again. That would be more fun."

Ethan:"Ok, fine. You can stay. But be respectful. No exploring in my body. I can see you moving my hand close to my dick every second. And stop looking at my body. It's creepy."

Matt turned around from the mirror. His head tilted to the side. "You're no fun, Ethan. We could already be jerking off your nice dick, instead we're having a fight here."

Ethan:"It's really creepy, man. Like... what if I would do the same to you in your body?"

Matt:"That's sounds hot. Come on, man. You know you're excited to try it out."

Ethan didn't reply, which Matt took as an approval and threw off his briefs. As soon as he did he looked back at his reflection.

Matt:"God daaaaaamn, Ethan. Look at yourself. You're a hot piece of meat. It feels amazing to have your body."

Ethan:"...thanks, I guess"

Matt:"And let's take this little guy for a spin."

Ethan:"Yet I'm bigger than you."

Matt:"Bigger, but not the biggest I saw. Oh wow, you're a grower I didn't expect that, it's really getting bigger and it's so hard, oh my god. You should shaved Ethan. It would make it look even bigger."

Ethan:"Matt, this is too gay for me. I don't think I want to continue."

Matt:"Hold on, I'm just about to start." Matt started stroking Ethan's dick. He went slowly first, but the built up hormones in Ethan's body forced him to go faster. Ethan felt a wave of pleasure hit him too. He didn't jerk off very often, so this was pleasant and even more so that someone else was doing it to him, for him. Someone was really appreciating his body.

Ethan:"Fuuuck. Matt. Go faster."

Matt smiled. He sped up and started humping Ethan's palm to the rhytm. Matt couldn't keep his hands off his new body. He kept returning back to his muscles, but what interested him the most were his new sensitive nipples. He stroked them while jerking off.

Matt:"Ethan. I love... your body so much"

Ethan:"I love having you in me too. I want to cum with you. Make me cum, please!!!"

Matt went closer to the mirror. The furious movements of the hand forced him to moan out loud. He was so close.

The stream was impressive. It reached a height that Matt didn't even expect and landed on the mirror.

Matt smiled, all sweaty:"Wow. You're quite a good shot. I would have gone further away from the mirror if I had known that."

Ethan felt the clarity earlier than Matt. He just let his best friend jerk his body off. This was so strange.

Ethan:"So what's the plan for tommorow? Who do you want to possess first?"

Matt:"We should try Jack and bully all his friends as a revenge. What do you think?"

Ethan:"That sounds great. We sho..." Ethan's voice faded from Matt's mind, but Matt didn't seem concerned. He got close to the mirror and looked deep into his new eyes.

Matt:"Sorry, Ethan. But I want to enjoy your body now in more privacy. I'm sure you understand." he kissed his reflection and started licking the mirror, making his way to the cum pouring slowly on the mirror surface.

Matt:"Ew, Ethan. That's for not eating enough sugar. I'll fix that for you. But now I got something to fix for you."

Matt took out Ethan's phone and called Betty. "Hey, Betty. Do you mind If I'd come over? I want to know if you're ok. You were so different before. So fearless and READY. I was really weirded out, but actually happy to see that. Really? Huh. That's strange. Well I can go to your house and we can talk about it. Ok, see you in a few minutes."

Matt locked the phone and headed to the bathroom, where he knew that Ethan had condoms ready.

He approached the mirror. Looked back at himself and said:"Congratulations, Ethan. You're not gonna be a virgin anymore. I'll give Betty a great time. Don't worry. Not like you should worry at all, you can't hear me and it's not like I'd give you your body back anytime soon. Haha."

[codnasties]

bull rider!ghost 👻

having an uni bestie that's from a small rural town as someone who was born and raised in a city has it's perks, like getting to experience things you had never experienced before. and i'm talking about going to a rodeo.

crowd roaring as a new rider sat on an angry bull and got tossed into the air as the animal bucked fiercely. the first few wild dudes that you had seen were interesting. you know, the attraction of something new that you had never really seen before. but after a handful of them it started getting a bit boring, but your friend was cheering on so loudly and seemingly enjoying that so much it would probably be rude to tell them that you weren't having so much fun.

trying to find some kind of entertainment, you told your friend you were going to go and get a drink, because at this moment a beer looked like it would bring you some semblance of entertainment.

but you were wrong, because as you make your way back to the rodeo grounds, your eye caught a rider that was different. he had a commanding and charming aura to him, something that impelled you to look at him. well, maybe it was more that just the way he carried himself.

it was the way those jeans seemed to hug those thick thighs of his, how, with the help of the chaps he was wearing, they left little to imagination, giving you a perfect view of his ass. and oh what an ass! and his shirt... the way his strong and built muscle seemed to flex and ripple with each movement that he made.

when you finally made it back to where your friend was sitting - which took you longer than the way to the bar because of adoring such a man -, this mysterious dude was now on the chute, lowering himself onto one hell of an angry bull.

while the rest of the riders had caught your eye, there was nothing but anticipation inside of you to see him try to tame that ton and a half bull. and he did not disappoint, the beast beneath him bucking trying to get him of.

it wasn't just the way he has holding on or how long those eight seconds seemed to last when it was him on the arena. it was the way his hips swayed trying to follow the bulls movements, the way the bicep of the arm he was using to hold on became impossibly bigger with the tension, the veins that were proptinding on the hand he had up in the air, the glimpse of tattoos on his forearm as the sleeve of his shirt got pulled by his muscles.

before you ever realised, the buzzer had sounded, indicating that the time necessary was over and that he could now get off the bull. and when he did, you became even more intrigued by him and how fucking tall he looked and how he, amazingly, had managed to keep the hat he was wearing on his head the whole time.

seeing how entranced you were by this one specific rider, your friend immediately gave you that information that you were unknowingly desperate to know. "his name is simon riley, but they call him ghost"

"ghost?", you asked them back.

"yup, because of the way he rides, breaks records and then fucking vanishes. the public doesn't really know much about him or his personal life. and it's also a know fact that is hard to even get to meet him and talk to him" they explained. "oh, an also he ghost every single person that he fucks'

"hmm interesting", you hummed, starting to get into your head that as much as this 'ghost' seemed attractive and got you horny just from looking at him, he was quite unreachable and maybe a bit of an asshole.

"yeah, the man's a beast at what he does", they exclaimed, cutting your thought process.

"i can see, you don't need me to tell me twice", you uttered back.

"and he's actually a cousin of mine! let me introduce you to him'" they gave you further explanation.

you couldn't help the immediate 'oh' that left you. because you actually had a chance to talk to this man an maybe, maybe try to cham your way into those tight jeans of his. because an asshole has his charm, you know?

₊˚ ✧ ‿︵‿୨୧‿︵‿ ✧ ₊˚

hope y'all enjoyed that, i just pulled this out of my pussy.

no smut just pure hornyness. anyways, save a horse ride a cowboy or sum

[fullfriendnerdclutch]

Bunch of Quickies

Caption #2: First Job out of Uni

My brain fired off some initial ideas upon seeing these pics, but I just cannot extend it, so here's a bunch of short captions that now have the chance to be unearthed from the depth of my draft

Caption #1: Morning

"Hey there sleepyhead, how's your sleep?" said the attractive guy sitting on top of the marble countertop sipping his morning coffee to the drowsy Gus

"Another form already, huh? What are you up to this morning looking like that?"

"Nothing, to be honest. Just want to look good and fresh, plus, it's nice to be fucking confident because you know you're one hot piece of shit,"

"Well, that's a spot on assessment about that dude. He jogged with the dog again this morning?"

"Different dog, but still shirtless as usual. Added this tattoo to his forearm, just copied it and heck it looks nice, guy really knows his body,"

"Ah, okay, so he's fucking different girl already now,"

"Yeah, but he can fuck a guy if he wants to,"

"Lee, calm the fuck down. This is still fucking early,"

"Well, for you, but for Wade here, it's quite late already. He already finished his running, eating his breakfast and about to hop into his shower. But the girlfriend is one kinky fucker, wanted to taste Wade's musty sweaty cock. Again, Wade prefers boys this time,"

"Oh come on, go clean yourself, will ya, let me have my morning,"

Wade/Lee just smirked and slapped his boyfriend's ass as he walked away to leave Gus to have his morning routine. After reading some news online and drinking his coffee, Gus walked back to his room to head to the bathroom as he's about to take a dump and clean himself. Then, walked another guy out from the bathroom, his expression tense and definitely hungry

"Who the fuck are you and what are you doing in my house?"

Gus just sighed, Lee really love his roleplay.....

"Everyone will go nuts if I walk in like this," said Barry to the reflection of this random old DILF in the mirror, imagining the loud, borderline animalistic grunt and holler from the packed crowd of the Sticky Situation. Yeah, that's the name of the gay nightclub where Barry frequently danced and partied with his friends. But this will be a new experience for the 22 years old freshgraduate, his first job experience after uni turned out to be something beyond his wildest imaginations, all thanks to his hips that caught the attention of the nightclub manager, who found himself in sticky situation with his boyfriend of 3 years, Daniel. Reluctant to let Daniel go, and swayed by Barry's energetic presence on the dance floor, he concocted a plan to get the naive and horny freshgrad a chance for an upgrade of a lifetime, and of course Barry took that offer. Now, finger cross Barry will decide to stay permanently inside Daniel, that will make things much more easier so he doesn't need to find the occupant of his boyfriend-turned-bodysuit every few months or so.

Caption #3: Recluse Neighbor

"Who the fuck are you?"

"Ck, just how I thought. Well, it doesn't matter, in a matter of seconds, I'm about to be you, Mr. Bay,"

And just like that, the mostly reserved and barely sociable ginger lunged to get himself inside the body of his own neighbor that barely recognized him. Mr. Bay might not be rich or anything seeing that he basically lived in the same building as him, but everything beats living with his deadbeat alcoholic father and that devious cunt he's forced to call mom

Caption #4: Setting Things Right

I suggested them about the takeover ever since Mario shown me how to swap bodies with him by chugging those pills he stashed in his bedside counter. Maybe he trusted me or maybe he was just naive, but I still have no idea why Mario would willingly share such out-of-this-world possibility to me, a mere random hookup of his, as if everyone are bunch of saints that wouldn't take an opportunity to create a new life for themselves? During our third swap, I fucked him so hard using his own body, he started weeping as my hole never really found itself in such distressing lustful pounding. In his weakened state, face & body bruised and stamina drained from the whole mess, I decided to violate our terms & conditions, flipping him over to then proceed to facefuck him like there's no tomorrow. You should have seen his panicked stare and the way he tried to push me off as he realized what I was about to do, but as soon as the copious spunk hit his throat, the resistance ended and his eyes turned hazy as the cum sealed his fate to remain in my body while I took his body as my permanent residence, the swap somehow irreversible if someone came in the other's mouth or practically anywhere else except asshole, possibly indicating that the pills should not be tainted with cum when swallowed within specific time window.

The almost same case went on with Isaiah and Darnell, two of Mario's closest friend and frequent fuckbuddies, that found themselves now locked for good inside Leon, my Salvadoran best friend and Rei, my Japanese-American roommate. Both Isaiah and Darnell also have the same kink of getting fucked by smaller dudes, and when I explained to both big bottoms that the swapping pills would have extra effect if swallowed with cum for heightened senses (I advertised it as popper in pills form), they took Leon's and Rei's cum like some good submissive slut, inadvertently sealing their own fate to be trapped in the body that now preferably more fitting to their sexual desires. Talk about setting things right, because all 3 of us wanted to be older and stronger ever since we connected in college a couple years ago and these 3 daddies just wanted to waste their big bodies to bottom

Caption #5: Unexpected Swap

Frankie was sobbing in his bedroom after getting locked by his evil stepfather Darius after he found Frankie jerking off in front of his laptop to a shirtless guy in the other side of the call. To make things worse, Darius found his socks right next to Frankie's body, his eyes filled with hatred and disgust as he punished the 19 years old boy he viewed as mere burden and now, shame, to his name.

"You fucking faggot, I know you're just some up to no good failure, have some shame will ya? Worthless piece of faggot shit! Sniffing my socks too, getting off on my odor? God, you are disgusting!" Darius said, one of his rant in between the beatings

Frankie cried himself to sleep, both for the physical pain inflicted by his father that beat the shit out of him and also the mental anguish of thinking what would happen next after Darius arrived back. Of course he would never expect to found himself suddenly standing up in the middle of the gym, exasperated from the intense workout he just went through

Workout? Wha--- his thoughts came to a halt as everything started to get its footings. He's in the middle of the gym, feeling pumped, and the shirt.....this is unmistakably one of the shirts he usually found in the laundry room.....Darius shirt

As he looked down and then flexed his biceps to get a good look over his physique, he also started to feel the snaking blood rush to the monster he called his own now, the humungous cock attached to Darius's body. Oh he's about to have fun getting off directly from the source

[the-offside-rule]

Lando Norris (McLaren) - All Over Again

Requested: yes

Prompts: 5) "If I could, I'd like to fall in love with you all over again."

48) "I love our cuddles."

49) "Stay here tonight."

Warnings: none tbh

Lando couldn't believe he was back in England, the familiar sights and sounds bringing a rush of nostalgia. He had done what he always did; gone for his morning run, ordered a hot chocolate to take away, and head on home to have his pre-made breakfast. As he strolled through the town, he couldn't help but wonder what had changed since he left for his racing career. Little did he know, he was about to encounter a significant blast from the past. He figured he may as well have a proper look around this time and so, he made his way up a side street, looking around and even spotting a few new shops.

Walking up a small street, off from his usual route, Lando's eyes widened as he spotted Y/n, the girl he had once been deeply in love with and even dated whilst he was in Formula 2. They broke up in 2020 since they both just didn't have the time and promised that if the opportunity every rose again, they would revisit it. Time seemed to freeze for a moment, and then, recognizing him, Y/n's eyes lit up with surprise and joy. "Lando? Is that really you?" She exclaimed, a mix of disbelief and excitement in her voice. He grinned. "Yeah, it's me! How have you been?" Lando asked as the pair embraced one another. "I'm good. Still on the hot chocolate or have you made the move to coffee?" She asked, pointing at the cup in Lando's hand. "I've never liked coffee and I never will. How's uni going?"

"I just finished up last year. I'm kinda just working for now until I have enough to move away." She replied. "Move away? What would make you want to do that?" Lando asked. "Well you tell me. Last I heard of you was you moved to Monaco. Very fancy." She joked. They exchanged stories, catching up on the years that had passed since they last saw each other. Laughter echoed through the air as they reminisced about old memories and shared new experiences. It was as if time hadn't dimmed the connection they once had.

Lando, felt some serious nostalgia. "I'm going to have to head now. I have some things to do. But good luck and it was lovely seeing you again." Y/n smiled. "Yeah, we should get coffee or something sometime." He replied and watched as Y/n walked past him. As she walked away, he couldn't help but think that maybe this was the time to revisit their relationship, and so, he turned and jogged back towards her to give a suggestion. "Hey, why don't you come over to my place? We can continue our conversation there." Y/n shook her head. "I have a few things to drop of to my mum's. I really can't."

"I'll come with you. I haven't seen her jn ages anyway." Y/n thought for a moment. Her mum would make such a fuss over Lando being back. She always brought Lando up, even to Y/n's last boyfriend. That conversation about Lando led to their break-up and since then she's always shrugged off any Lando conversations. "Okay fine." She said as Lando began to walk with her. "Do you want me to take something? Your hands seem full." Y/n nodded. "Please take the shopping bag. Its killing me here." Labdo laughed as he effortlessly lifted the back and hoisted it up over his shoulder. "Alright. Don't be such a show off."

Their break-up hadn't left a bitter taste, and they remained friends. The sun was shining, adding a warm glow to their amiable conversation. As they approached Y/n's mum's house, memories flooded back. Lando couldn't help but notice the nostalgia in Y/n's eyes. The door swung open before they even had a chance to knock, revealing Y/n's mum, who beamed at the sight of them. "Lando! Oh, it's been too long!" She exclaimed, enveloping Lando both in a tight hug. "Nice to see you too, Mum." Y/n mumbled as Lando grinned. "Come inside, I've just brewed some tea."

Once inside, the cozy aroma of freshly brewed tea filled the air. Y/n's mum ushered them to the living room, where memories of shared laughter echoed. They settled in, sipping tea and catching up on life. Y/n's mum couldn't help but glance between them, her eyes sparkling with curiosity. "And that crash in Germany last year. Dreadful." Her mum said. "It was Belgium, Mum." Y/n corrected. Labdo turned and smirked at her. "Thought you didn't keep up with F1." The last time he saw her, she didn't really. She only really watched it when she was with Lando. "I can watch it if I want." She replied, sipping her tea. "Oh, you two always made such a lovely couple. Any chance you're getting back together?" She inquired with a mischievous grin.

Y/n spat her tea into the cup, as Lando gave an amused glance towards Y/n. "No, we're just good friends now." Y/n explained with a smile. "Well, that's good to hear. I always hoped maybe one day you'll find your way back to each other." Her mum said. Lando's lips twitched into a playful grin. "You never know. We could probably..." Y/n interrupted, taking it as a cue to change the subject. "Well, Mum, we've got a few more errands to run. Thanks for the tea!" They bid Y/n's mum farewell, stepping back into the sunlight. "Smooth, Lando." Y/n couldn't help but roll her eyes at Lando's comment. "What?" Lando asked as if he didn't know what he had just done. "You always know how to keep things interesting," Y/n teased. Lando chuckled. "Hey, just keeping the possibilities open, you know?" Y/n shook her head, laughter bubbling up from deep within. "You haven't changed a bit."

Lando led the way to his new home. It was huge. Bigger than the one he grew up in and Y/n found that mental. "This is yours? Are you sure?" She asked. "Trust me, it's mine." He replied, opening the door. "There's a few boxes around the place. This is all just moving stuff. Don't mind them."

The aroma of spices and sizzling ingredients filled Lando Norris' kitchen as he worked diligently to prepare dinner for his good friend, Y/n. He hummed along to a tune playing softly in the background, feeling a sense of accomplishment in trying his hand at a new recipe.

Y/n walked around, a glass of wine in hand, looking at the photos that hung on the walls. From family photos to podium photos, she enjoyed looking at them. One in particular caught her eye. It was her at Lando's final Formula 2 race. They were all smiles and she couldn't help but feel the memories washing over her.

Just as Lando reached for a pot handle, a sudden hiss of pain escaped him. Lando winced, realizing he had touched the hot surface without protection. He quickly pulled back, shaking his hand in an attempt to soothe the sting. "Fuck." Lando muttered to himself, glancing around for a nearby kitchen towel. Y/n entered the room, drawn by the sound of his exclamation. "What happened, Lando?" she asked, concern evident in her voice. Lando winced, trying to brush it off. "Yeah, just a little mishap. I guess cooking isn't exactly my forte."

Y/n chuckled softly, gently taking his arm to examine the burn. "Let me take care of that for you." As Y/n tended to his burn, Lando couldn't help but admire her delicate touch and caring nature. His gaze lingered on her, filled with a warmth he couldn't contain. "Don't look at me like that." Y/n said softly, catching Lando's gaze. Lando smirked teasingly. "Like what?" Y/n rolled her eyes playfully. "You know exactly what I mean." He shrugged. "Have no idea what you mean." Rolling her eyes again, Y/n suggested, "How about I do the cooking, and you just help grab things when I need them?" Lando nodded.

As Y/n stired some pasta around in the pot, she jumped upon hearing music. "Oh, sorry. Too loud." Labdo mumbled as he turned the volume down on a speaker nearby. "Why are you playing Put Your Records On?" She asked. "I like it. You like it too last time I checked." Lando said, beginning to dance a bit. "Last time you checked was four years ago." Y/n replied. "Oh come on, you haven't changed that much." Lando chuckled. "You wanna bet?" She challenged.

Lando nodded, moving her hair across her shoulder and placing a gentle kiss onto her neck. "You like neck kisses, don't you?" Y/n found herself blushing and biting her lip to hide her smile. Lando's arms made their way around Y/n's torso, his chin resting on her shoulder. "You're playing a dangerous game, Lando." She said. "I know." Y/n set the cooking spoon to the side and gave in, turning and lifting her arms up around Lando's neck, swaying along with him. Soon enough, they were dancing, spinning and jumping around, carefree and happy. "Oh shit! The pasta!"

As they settled on the couch to watch a movie, Lando wrapped an arm around Y/n, feeling the warmth of their shared history. The prompts echoed in his mind, and he couldn't resist expressing his emotions. "I love our cuddles." He admitted, a genuine smile on his face. Y/n snuggled closer. "Me too. It feels like we never missed a beat." Lando looked up to her, the look of a lovestruck puppy in his eyes. "Stay here tonight." He asked. "Lando, I have work tomorrow." She replied. "You're acting like something is going to happen." Lando said, wiggling his eyebrows. "Oh shut up." The pair began laughing. As the laughing quietened down, they found themselves leaning in, centimetres away from eachother.

Y/n swallowed the lump in her throat as Lando looked between her eyes and then down to her lip. "Alright, but only if you promise to make breakfast tomorrow, and I get to teach you how to cook properly." Lando grinned. "Deal." And with that, he leaned in and closed the gap between them, Y/n kissing back into his lips.

The movie faded into the background as they continued their kiss, both missing the feeling of the others lips on theirs. "If I could, I'd like to fall in love with you all over again." Lando whispered between kisses. He could feel Y/n smile against him. "Maybe we can take it one step at a time, starting with breakfast tomorrow morning." Lando shook his head, lifting her up off the couch and walking towards the door. "Or we could start now and just start where we left off."

[luvismenu]

here i go — pjm one shot

pairing: childhood friend!jimin x fem!reader

warnings: lots of scream (movie) references, virgin!jimin, teasing each other, smut.

summary: your virgin bsf wants to have a look at your boobs and you.. let him.

note: kind of like a bday + spooky szn special !!

wc: 2.2k+

♡ — permanent taglist: @https-mei @ari420sstuff @blaricee @jksctrl @blluee28 @jkvias @wnteraezz @whoa-jo @wobblewobble822 @jkslvsnella @clxssy1997 @nikkinikj @kayleesaltzmann @rrosiitas @naurnonope @lola75111 @somehowukook @redcherrykook @parkinglot-nights @deluluisdasolulu @minghaosimp @hyeon-yi @ririkookiemonster @svtrighthereworld @jmscaffeine @trinityxsope @taetaecatboy @butnotmontana @joyofbebbanburg @elinaki92 @sweetmimosa28

“hello? who—”

“hello, ___. what's your favorite scary movie?”

“w-who are you? that's not funny, i swear i will c-call the cops—”

the voice on the other end laughs, the voice effect slowly dropping, revealing the familiar sound behind it. you immediately relax.

“fuck you.”

“come on!! it's spooky season.”

you roll your eyes.

“let me in, sweets. it's cold outside.”

you scoff and hang up, heading to the front door. you swing it open, glaring at the figure standing there.

“you're an asshole, you know that? you could've gone to prison!”

he steps past you, grinning, as he pulls off his gloves and jacket, his laugh barely under control. “y-you should've heard yourself!”

“seriously, jimin, that wasn’t funny. i almost peed my pants,” you grumble, closing the door and turning to him with your arms crossed.

“aw, poor ___, scared of the least scariest character ever.” he mocks you, sticking out his lower lip in a fake pout, then heads straight to your living room.

“what!? a serial killer is scary! especially if he's after me,” you follow behind him, still fuming. “and by the way, did you get a new number?”

“yep,” he says, collapsing onto your couch. “and you know i can't pass up an opportunity to scare the shit out of my favorite loser.”

“why am i even friends with you again?” you ask, plopping down next to him. he quickly pulls you in, wrapping an arm around your shoulder.

“hmm, lemme think.” he pauses for effect. “maybe 'cause we've been neighbors since birth, went to the same school, same uni? oh, and probably because i'm the only guy who knows every embarrassing detail about your life. yeah, that’s gotta be it.” he nods

you shove him playfully, laughing. “you're so annoying. i hate you.”

he chuckles, “oh come on, sweets, you know you love me.”

“whatever,” you mutter, but a small smile betrays you.

“so, you got a boyfriend?”

“why? you wanna ask me out on a date?”

“maybe. do you have a boyfriend?”

“no.”

“you never told me your name.”

“why do you want to know my name?”

“because i want to know who i am looking at.”

“boo!!! casey had zero survival skills,” jimin suddenly exclaims, making you flinch.

you’ve watched the scream movies with jimin ever since you were kids. he loved them, but you were never a big fan. still, he insisted you’d watch at least one every year during “spooky season.” eventually, you got used to it. it doesn’t feel that scary anymore when he’s beside you.

your arm is linked through his, and your head rests comfortably on his shoulder as you continue watching the movie. the tension of the scene doesn’t bother you much, maybe because you’ve seen it too many times, or maybe because jimin’s presence keeps you calm.

well, except for the moments when he randomly yells at the screen and scares you half to death.

“so, you thought you’d climb through my window and have a little raw footage?"

“no, no. i wouldn’t dream of breaking your underwear rule. i just thought maybe we could do a little on-top-of-the-clothes stuff, just to make it pg-13.”

“you are a tease.”

“he doesn’t want you!” you boo at the screen, making jimin chuckle.

he glances at you from the corner of his eye, smirking. “___, why don’t we have a pg-13 relationship, huh?”

you scoff, rolling your eyes. “yeah, no, i’m not flashing my boobs.”

“but you’ve seen my dick!” he exclaims, his voice almost accusatory as you pull back, ready to fire back immediately.

“that was because you were proving it’s not small!” you remind him, your eyes narrowing.

“let this virgin have a look,” he pouts dramatically, sticking out his lower lip like that will convince you.

“i never asked to look at your dick when i was a virgin!” you shoot back, crossing your arms. he opens his mouth to counter, but before he can get a word in, you cut him off. “that doesn’t count. you were the one who showed me. i said i never asked for it!”

his lips twitch into a small smile as he tries one last desperate attempt. “pretty please, ___?” he pleads, giving you the full force of his puppy eyes.

you scoff, a small laugh escaping despite yourself. “fine!”

his eyes light up, and he sits there expectantly, waiting for you to pull your shirt off. you hesitate for a moment, your fingers lingering at the hem, but eventually, you tug it over your head, exposing the light pink bra with a small bow in the center.

his gaze drops instantly. he licks his lips. “pretty bra,” he murmurs

“thanks, pervert,” you joke, he's smirking like you just gave him the world’s weirdest compliment.

his grin widens, not even the slightest bit ashamed. “can i take it off?”

you bite your bottom lip, feeling your heart race as you nod. his hands come up, gentle and slow, as if he’s savoring every second. his fingers brush along the edges of your bra and trace the sides of your breasts, making your breath hitch.

then, with a quiet click , he unclasps the bra.

“okay?” he asks softly, his eyes meeting yours, giving you a chance to change your mind.

you swallow hard and breathe out, “okay.”

he hooks his fingers under the straps, sliding them down your arms and letting the bra fall away. his eyes darken as your breasts are fully revealed to him. the sight of your soft skin and perked nipples leaves him speechless, his chest rising and falling a little faster now.

“oh fuck...” he breathes, like the words slipped out without him realizing.

you feel the heat spreading through your body, an ache growing between your legs as you watch his reaction. the way his gaze lingers on your chest, the hunger in his eyes. it makes your core throb.

“touch me, jimin,” you say without a second thought. the words leave your mouth so easily, and the moment they do, he’s on you, not wasting a second. his hands cup your breasts, the warmth of his palms sending shivers down your spine as he starts rubbing your nipples with his fingers.

you squirm under his touch, your eyes fluttering shut when he rolls your nipples between his fingers, pinching them just enough to make you gasp.

“does that feel good?” he asks, his voice low.

you nod, biting your lip. the answer comes in the form of a soft moan when his mouth closes around your right nipple, sucking gently and teasing it with his tongue.

you glance down, watching the way his lips wrap around you, and it makes you dizzy with pleasure.

“sorry, couldn’t resist,” he mumbles against your skin, pulling back just enough to grin before trailing kisses along your breasts.

you let out a shaky breath, overwhelmed by the way he’s touching you. “are you sure you’ve never done this before?” you manage to ask between gasps.

his lips curl into a playful smirk. “love it too much?”

“i hate you,” you whisper, but the amused smile on your face tells a different story.

he chuckles softly and moves up to kiss your neck. “can i fuck you, ___?” he murmurs against your skin, his lips brushing your pulse.

“yes.” the word slips out of your mouth almost too quickly.

but then it hits you, and you pull back slightly. “w-wait, are you sure? i mean, do you really want me to be your first—”

he cuts you off with a kiss, his plump lips pressing against yours.

“mmmh...” you hum into the kiss, melting against him as his lips move against yours. it’s everything, soft, warm, and somehow exactly what you didn’t know you needed.

he pulls back just enough to meet your gaze, “i wouldn't have it any other way.”

“why do you even have condoms?” jimin asks, positioned between your legs as he rolls the condom on. you’d told him they were in your nightstand, so now the two of you are on your bed, getting ready.

“uh, because i don’t wanna get pregnant?” you reply. “plus, i’m not the virgin here.”

the corners of his mouth lift into a teasing grin. “damn, there are actual people who wanna fuck you?”

you raise an eyebrow, matching his playful energy. “yeah, and you’re one of them.”

he chuckles, shaking his head. “touché.”

then, with a serious expression, he grabs your hips. “alright… here i go”

you burst into laughter, the words catching you off guard. “h-here i go? jimin, we’re not in kindergarten!” you laugh uncontrollably, and he frowns, making you laugh harder.

“shut up, i was just letting you know!” he glares you.

you try to stifle your laughter, barely holding it together. “right, right. sorry... you got this, champ!” and just like that, you lose it again, dissolving into more giggles.

he rolls his eyes dramatically, trying to look annoyed. “you’re turning me off, you know.”

you grin, glancing down between his legs. “so why’s your junior still standing, then?”

he blinks, surprised, before laughing along with you. “junior?” he echoes

“okay, okay, my bad,” you say, catching your breath.

“for real this time… here we go.” you give him a mischievous smile, and he shakes his head, biting his lip to hide a grin.

“you’re impossible,” he mutters under his breath, but his hands slide back to your waist, steadying himself.

the playful mood shifts into something more intimate as you relax into the bed beneath him. with one slow, deliberate motion, he pushes inside you.

he groans at the feeling, his hands tightening on your hips. you gasp softly, biting your lip as the warmth spreads through you.

he moves slowly at first, soft gasps and low moans falling from his lips with every thrust.

“fuck, you feel so good,” he groans, his hips starting to pick up speed. the sound of skin against skin fills the room, and it has you gripping the sheets tighter, trying to hold onto something—anything—because he’s driving you insane.

“jimin— y-yes, fuck!” you manage to stammer, though the words are slurred with pleasure. it barely even matters. all you know is that he feels fucking amazing inside you.

he grabs your legs and lifts them onto his shoulders without missing a beat, the new angle making his cock hit deeper.

“mmh, you're so fucking tight, baby,” he rasps,

as if you weren’t already lost in pleasure, his fingers find your clit. he starts rubbing it in slow, deliberate circles, all while his hips keep thrusting into you. the sensations are overwhelming; his cock filling you, his fingers working you.

you gasp, whimpering uncontrollably. every thrust, every rub, every movement sends shocks of pleasure through your body, leaving you trembling beneath him.

“j-jimin—” you choke on your own words, barely holding on as the intensity builds.

“that’s it, baby,” he groans.

you cry out, feeling your orgasm crash over you. your body tenses, back arching off the bed as you cum hard, soaking his cock. the pleasure is so overwhelming it borders on painful, leaving you gasping, crying, and writhing under him.

“so fucking pretty,” he breathes, mesmerized by the sight of you falling apart beneath him.

watching your cum drip down onto him only pushes him closer to the edge. with a few more frantic thrusts, he groans deeply, burying himself inside you as he spills into the condom.

his movements slow down, but he stays inside you for a moment, catching his breath. you lie there, panting and basking in the afterglow, bodies still pressed together.

“holy shit,” you whisper, heart pounding in your chest.

he chuckles softly as he pull out, “yeah... holy shit”

“are you sure this was your first time?” you chuckle breathlessly, your chest still heaving as you try to catch your breath.

he laughs along with you, the sound low and a little shy now that the heat of the moment has passed. “yeah, pretty sure,” he murmurs, rubbing the back of his neck. “unless i’ve been sleepwalking through sex.”

you giggle, “well, you didn’t exactly perform like a rookie.”

“natural talent, i guess.” he grins, but there’s a flush creeping up his neck that makes you laugh even more.

you both lie there for a moment in comfortable silence, the room filled with the sound of your soft breathing. there’s no awkwardness. just a weird sense of ease, like this was exactly how things were supposed to go.

“so… you got a boyfriend?” he breaks the silence, glancing over at you with a playful glint in his eyes.

you smile to yourself, and speak up. “why? you wanna ask me out on a date?”

“maybe. do you have a boyfriend?” he asks, with a teasing smirk playing on his lips.

“no.” you reply, meeting his gaze.

for a moment, you both hold the stare, and then it breaks as you burst into laughter, the room filling with the sound of it, light and carefree.

“so i did great, right?” he asks

“mmh, not bad,” you hum, pretending to be unimpressed, though the smirk on your face gives you away. “maybe a solid 8 out of 10.”

his jaw drops dramatically. “only an 8?”

“you lost points for saying ‘here i go’.” you tease, biting your lip to hold back your laughter.

“oh, come on!” he groans, covering his face with both hands. “i’ll never live that down, will i?”

“nope,” you say smugly, shifting closer to him on the bed.

he drops his hands, a grin spreading across his face.

“okay, but seriously sweets… you’re amazing.”

“you're too, jimin”

[star2fishmeg]

can you share some of your Luke recs?

Of course! I may have gone a bit overboard but I just love love love all these fics and their authors so so much. I highly recommend all these writers and their blogs, from the nsfw to the sfw, I couldn't stress how highly I respect and recommend them enough:

≡ᴍᴇɢ's ʟᴜᴋᴇ ʜᴜɢʜᴇs ғɪᴄ ʀᴇᴄs

—SMUT

♥ again by @hhughes (you can find her on @bedsyandco now I think) ➥ I frequently find myself going back to this one, the way Cami has written it is just so addicting and it's so hot.

♥ the mortifying ordeal of being a 20 year old virgin by @theemporium ➥ This series is hard as hell, literally love it. Each chapter is just divine and I love Luke and reader's dynamic, it's so juicy and with every new chapter, I think I literally heel click and do a jig.

♥ escape from la by @eyesthatroll ➥ Another one I go back to often, still think about it to this day actually, I just picture it vividly and it gives me butterflies every time.

♥ locker room by @lucijawriteswords ➥ Words cannot describe how much of a chokehold this one has on me. Angry Luke is so hot and I can't stop thinking about the imagery and I want this so bad.

♥ those sleepless nights - @wineauntie ➥ I present to you; my bedtime story. Sleepy smut is just so yummy, you know? And I just wanted Luke wrapped around me after I read this, I now go back to it when it's some silly hour of the morning.

♥ stress reduction by @goldfades ➥ Bro I cannot begin to explain how many times I've read this one. Short and sweet and so sensual, I want it. You'll literally read it and feel something.

♥ risqué reflections by @sweetestdesire ➥ This is the place for filth and I'm a loyal customer. This fic had me doing deep breaths and GOD it's so yummy. Read it once and then went back because the buzz it gave me.

♥ the green eyed monster by @puck-luck ➥ Jealousy has never looked hotter on a man. I remember reading this one morning before uni and yeah let's say I wasn't thinking about my class that day. Andy went all in with this and Jesus it was hot as fuck.

—FLUFF

♥ he's been a bit of a jerk by @quinnylouhughesx43 ➥ I've never liked the winter more, I need Luke to come find my lonely ass and kiss me too. This was too cute honestly and the second part is just as good. Recommend reading them back-to-back.

♥ too tall by @toasttt11 ➥ Anything to do with height differences has me in shambles and this was so cute. I just love the image of Luke standing in the kitchen at 12am like a deer in headlights.

♥ uh oh by @be4chywritez ➥ The Curtis-Luke rivalry will always make me giggle and even funnier with the sneaking around trope, I adored this and the locker room scene. The whole thing is so cute and lighthearted.

♥ jelly on a plate by @wineauntie ➥ I dislike the process of flying so this was a really comforting read and I love it so much. It's adorable and reassuring at the same time and if you're not a fan of flying, I really recommend having Luke with you in spirit.

♥ my princess by @lvrhughes ➥ No because this one's fun and fresh and adorable. Something about drunken nights will always get me, especially when it's one looking after the other. Filled my heart with warmth.

♥ caught by @ifimdreaming ➥ Love this one a lot, it's funny and cute. It perfectly portrays siblings having an argument and Trevor making an appearance will always be funny. Luke is just too cute and love me protective Luke.

♥ kiss her you fool by @withwritersblock ➥ Tooth rotting fluff, friends to lovers and just pining and that's my cup of tea. Loverboy Luke has you aching for him to be honest and you'll wish you were y/n and so much touching that has you tingling.

♥ "are you awake yet?" blurb by @bedsyandco @hhughes ➥ I wish I had this in my life, honestly. Read this and you wish you did too. It's so sweet it makes me kick my feet and twirl my hair, run laps around my room, go through my Luke Pinterest board. I love the way Cami writes Luke.

[sneakyparsnipslicer]

Power Play

It was never meant to have happened, but in all fairness I'm glad it did. I do have an unspoken duty of care after all.

I'm Gavin, 22, studying at Uni for theatre. Friends have always said I've got an uncanny talent for acting, able to hide how I'm feeling, telling the most convincing lies, but despite that I do have an earnest care for my friends and for some that's a big deal.

So, it all happened one Friday night, some of the girl friends were hosting a house party. Alcohol, music, conversation, the usual. My friend Janice had asked if I was free earlier and invited me. I hadn't seen her all week so the chance to catch up is always welcome. I put on my best clothes and headed off to the house which thankfully wasn't too far from my own place. I brought along some Amaretto for the party and got to mingling with others. I arrived quite early so there weren't too many people around and I got the chance to meet the partygoers and meet up with Janice.

'Hey Gav, glad you could make it! Got some pretty big news!' whispered Janice excitedly in my ear.

'Really? What is it?' I asked eagerly. She waved her left hand in front of my face, a gold ring on her finger. My jaw dropped.

'Tina proposed to me, we're getting married in the New Year!' she cried. I smiled and hugged her. Tina was a friend of ours and had confided to me in secrecy that she had a crush on Janice, and over the space of a year it looks like they'd both hit it off really well.

'Congrats, that's awesome!' I cried. 'Is Teen here tonight?'.

'Yeah she's just over in the other room, I'll go get her' said Janice, and she made her way through to the kitchen. I sat down on the sofa and waited a while. More and more partygoers arrived and as the night went on I forgot about Janice and Tina.

Getting progressively tipsy and humming along to 'Tainted Love', someone slumped down on the sofa next to me.

'Fuck them lesbians' sighed a voice. I opened my eyes and looked to my right, there sat a guy that looked about 30 with a bottle of Budweiser in his hand, shaking his head.

'What's up?' I asked, looking to him in concern. The guy looked to me and shrugged.

'Same fucking story everywhere I go, I see a cute girl, magically they're gay. Swear every fucker's gay these days' he said, taking a sip of his drink. I didn't say anything, took a sip of my drink and looked across the room. I could see past the crowd by the doorway was Janice. She was consoling Tina, who was crying. We caught eachother's eyes and I tilted my head subtly to the guy next to me, she nodded and kissed Tina on the head. I understood the situation.

'So how about you my man? You smashing some puss tonight?' the guy asked, looking me up and down. I turned to him and smiled.

'Nah mate, I'm more for the buss!' I replied, winking. The guy almost spat his drink out.

'Fuck off mate, you ain't gay!' he said laughing. I sighed.

'Oh sorry, were you expecting something more like this?' I asked, dangling my wrist and swiping the air camply. He laughed again, looking at me in disbelief.

'For a moment there I could've sworn you were straight' he said.

'Well you know, not all of us act camp, I like what I like but keep it on the down low' I replied, to which he nodded. I felt like I needed to move this along.

'Say, do you work out?' I asked, looking to his arms. He looked and flexed his right arm.

'Ah, you like what you see?' he asked smugly, grinning. I nodded and took another sip of my drink. He chuckled softly.

'You know, I've never tried a guy before' he said quietly, leaning in a little closer.

'Might be your lucky night' I suggested. He started nodding and bit his lower lip, taking a good look at me. I could have cackled at how easy it was to get him invested.

'What do you say we go find somewhere quiet to… break some new ground?' he asked, chuckling. I could have suplexed myself from the eye roll I wanted to do, but I had to keep my composure and giggled.

'Well, my place is just down the road, should give us a chance to get to know eachother better' I smiled. He drank the last of his drink and stood up. I happened to catch sight of his bulge as he offered a hand to lift me up, predictable. I tenderly placed my hand in his and he hoisted me up onto my feet, grinning.

'Let's get going then!' he said, heading off out of the house. I followed behind him, giving Janice a quick thumbs up and a wink as she nodded understandingly, mouthing the words 'Thank you'.

We returned to my place, him squeezing my ass and getting excited all the while. I unlocked the front door and invited him in. As soon as I was done locking the door, he made his move, pinning me to the door and burying his nose in my shoulder blade, taking a deep sniff.

'Mmm, you smell good!' he said. I rolled my eyes.

'It's Playboy' I said passively. He pulled his nose out.

'That's what I'll call you! Playboy!' he said, smiling maniacally.

'Sure thing, umm' I said, looking to him for a name.

'Just call me Daddy you cocksucking bitch!' he growled, pinning me further into the door and kissing my neck. Daddy, how fucking predictable. I could just see how this was going to go down. He pulled away and exhaled, stroking my chest.

'I'll bet you're a right little slut aren't you, Playboy?' he asked, fiddling with my shirt buttons, slowly revealing my chest.

'Oh for sure!' I grinned, moving in to kiss him. He hesitated but proceeded to kiss me back. I moved my hands behind his shoulders, embracing him. I could feel his dick pressing against my leg, he was totally enjoying it.

'Fuck me!' he said, dazed.

'Don't you mean fuck ME, Daddy?' I asked. He started laughing and moved his hands down to my thighs.

'Didn't think I'd ever be doing this with a guy, it feels so good' he said, looking into my eyes, amazed.

'Well, let's enjoy this then' I said, taking him by the hands and guiding him to my bedroom.

We got into the room and he thrust me down on the bed, biting his lip.

'Alright, strip down Playboy, nice and slow' he said, stroking his own crotch. I sat smirking as I kicked off my shoes and undid the last buttons on my shirt, taking it off and throwing it away. I went to unbuckle my belt when he stopped me.

'Come over here, I wanna try something' he said. Walking over he turned me around and began to unbuckle my belt whilst his cock was grinding against my butt. Always so cute when first timers try to be all freaky.

'You like that?' he asked, resting his chin on my left shoulder, watching as he pulled my shorts down.

'Yes Daddy' I said breathily, trying not to laugh. He dropped my shorts and began rubbing my butt through my boxers with his hands.

'Oh that ass feels so good Playboy, can't wait to explore it!' he whispered.

'I sure hope Daddy's packing tonight' I replied. With that he turned me back to face him, pulled me into a passionate kiss and carried me over to the bed, laying me down on it. Getting on top of me, he looked down as I looked back up at him. I began to pull at his shirt and he took it off, revealing his muscular chest, I'll admit it wasn't half bad. Then I began to unbuckle his belt and pull his jeans down, which he kicked off and there we were on the bed in our boxers.

'Open Daddy's pants!' he ordered, and I nodded, slipping them down his thighs. His dick sprung free, big and girthy, just how I like them.

'Ooooh, Daddy's got a big one!' I remarked in surprise, looking at it. He placed a hand under my chin, lifting it up to face him.

'Suck it, Playboy' he said, and so I began to do so, placing it in my mouth and beginning the blowjob. As it went on, his face became more strained as he tried not to shoot his load.

'Shit, you're good!' he moaned, looking to the ceiling. Eventually he stopped me and turned me over, pulling my boxers down.

'Alright Playboy, going in!' he chuckled. I could have cackled there and then, but I had to withold on the irony of that line. He began to spread my ass cheeks and inserted the tip of his dick, which slipped in easily. Even he was shocked.

'Damn, I thought you'd be tighter!' he said.

'C'mon Daddy, I'm a whore remember? Don't ruin this for yourself' I replied, massaging his leg. He nodded and continued to ride my backside, shaking the bed doing so. I'll admit this guy fucked with feeling, and as it went on and he reached climax, he wasn't aware of what else was going on.

When he finally came, sweaty and panting, he whooped in amazement.

'Wow Playboy, that was amazing!' he laughed, pulling himself away, but he soon realised he couldn't remove his dick from my ass.

'What's the matter Daddy? Too balls deep in me to let go?' I asked, turning my head to look at him. To his horror, his hands were beginning to sink slowly into my back, his pelvic region already sunk furthest into mine, and our feet had merged.

'Yo, what the fuck's going on?!' he shouted, but he couldn't pull himself free, he continued to sink into me as I began to cackle.

'You just fucked your way into a whole lot of trouble my guy!' I replied, laughing as he struggled.

'Let me go you fucking freak!' he roared as our legs were fully joined and his arms had sunk in.

'You upset my friends tonight, 'Daddy'. The lesbians you were moaning about, they just got engaged and you just had to come along and ruin their day' I said coldly as his back and shoulders sank in, him yelling out for help.

'And for the record, the name's Gavin. Suits me well considering how many homophobic, misogynistic pricks like you I've been gathering up to stop my friends being harrassed' I explained. By now the guy's face had melted into the back of my head and his screams became more and more muffled. Eventually he was fully sunk inside me, his added mass stretching me out and I began jerking my own dick, getting off my bed and spunking a few heavy loads on the carpet, excising myself of him. I looked at the pool of cum as it began to dry into the carpet.

'That's all you ever were, just a stain on society's carpet. Thanks for the muscles though' I said, cracking my neck and massaging my new musculature, reaching for my clothes. Though I thought to slip on the guy's jeans, they fitted me pretty nicely.

Making my way back over to Janice's place, most of the partygoers were filling out of the house. I went back in and found Tina and Janice, their faces lit up.

'Gav! Did you take care of that bastard?' asked Janice hopefully.

'Hey, I'm wearing his jeans aren't I?' I asked, turning to show them off 'Plus he filled me out a bit'. Janice shook her head, but smiled.

'I don't know how you do it, but thank you' said Tina, bowing her head. I pulled them both into a hug.

'Forget about him, he won't be bothering anyone anymore. Nobody messes with my friends' I said, looking to them in admiration.

'You're definitely gonna be the Best Man at the wedding, you know that right?' asked Janice. I folded my arms and rolled my eyes.

'And here I was hoping to be Chief Bridesmaid, oh well!' I sighed, shrugging. Janice and Tina began chuckling as I turned my attention to cleaning up the empty bottles and beer cans that the guests had left.

[thebibliosphere]

Hi there, ive come from your post about ADHD and emotional disregulation, firstly thank you so much for putting it into words, its such a complicated part of how i deal with emotions and i havent ever been able to articulate how to why.

Secondly, in that post you mentioned how you've used stress as a motivator and how eventually your stress regualtion broke, i was wondering if you'd be willing to talk about that? (If not, its not a problem)

I feel like the same thing has happened to me but until i read your post i had no idea that something had... snapped? I suppose? I struggle with motivation all the time and in the past id have a week or a few days left and id be able to suddently push myself very hard to complete whatever it is before the deadline, just barely making it in most cases. However now it seems that i can't find that motivation anymore, deadlines come and pass and i can't being myself to work on anything, and i just end up spiralling into shame and guilt. That motivation was the only thing that I was able to rely on sometimes for things like uni, and i conviced myself that it was just me growing lazy or trying to get out of responsibility as to why the "last minute panic-mode" doesnt work anymore.

Again, if you don't wanna tackle this can of worms or if it's something youd rather not post online i totally get it, its no biggie! thanks so much for making the original post as well, it means a lot

Hello friend, thanks for the message. I'm sorry you're also dealing with this.

The good news here is that I've already talked about this using the rubber band analogy my therapist gave me. (Stress is like a Rubber Band)

If you don't have the mental bandwidth to read all of it now, the tl;dr is "stress is like a rubber band; it can stretch to hold numerous things in place when you need to, but if you do it too often or keep adding more and more strain under the band, the elastic eventually becomes brittle and snaps, taking your mental and sometimes physical health with it too."

I've been in intensive therapy for this for roughly three years now, and trying to piece my brain back together after my last bout of stress-induced productivity gave me a total mental breakdown.

It's... odd not being able to use stress and having to actively avoid it to avoid a relapse. But it is doable. Medication would help, but alas, I've got weird health issues and am unmedicated at the minute.

(And just in case that sparks anyone to go, "Oh, you do all this unmedicated! Wow, that's so inspiring!" as sometimes parents do to me on here as they then tell me they don't want to medicate their kids, I've unfortunately also written a post about what that kind of success looks like from an unmedicated perspective and the kind of suicidal ideation I deal with on the regular because I cannot take meds. It is not pleasant reading, but it is necessary for some folks, specifically anti-med, "if you just tried harder" people.)

A book you may find helpful is Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle, by Emily and Amelia Nagoski. It was very validating for me to read about other people going through the same things, and made me feel less of a "this is a personal failing on my part" and more of a "Oh okay yeah, no stress literally breaks people."

It helped soothe some of my own internalized "I just need to try harder" and helped cement me on the path I was already going down with my ADHD therapist toward changing how I view myself and how I manage my ADHD.

I hope that helps! If you've got more specific questions or I didn't touch on something in my old post, I can try to answer them :)

[ichorai]

hell, yeah ; roman roy ; part six.

pairing ; roman roy x f!reader

synopsis ; pain was an old friend for the both of you.

words ; 13.8k

themes ; angst, fluff, drama, slowburn, childhood friends to lovers

warnings / includes ; depictions of mental and physical abuse, major character death, heavy angsty shit, sexual jokes and general foul language, business talk, roman is so in love, connor gets a bit of spotlight for this chapter </3

a/n ; sorry i'm taking so so so long w this series! uni keeps getting in the way of my writing HAHA but i hope you guys enjoy :)

series masterlist. main masterlist.

Bidding wars had never really been fun for you. It was always emails upon emails, calls after calls, Logan yelling, Gerri scrambling, negotiations, bargains, deals—it was all too much.

But this… even you had to admit, this was fun. 

Maybe because it was the first time you were working against Logan and not for him. And being around the Roy siblings reminded you of your childhood—a time where the four of you got along for the most part, even with the bloody noses and scraped knees and the yankings of hair.

Buying Pierce had been something you were starkly against while you were working in Waystar, but with this new thing that the Roy siblings were crafting, you had complete faith that Shiv, Kendall—hell, even Roman, would keep the news station’s values in check.

And, though you weren’t entirely proud of it, there was a thrill, a rush of adrenaline, when the four of you raised your bidding price to a healthy ten billion as a closing offer, knowing there was no way Logan could ever consider outbidding that.

Nan Pierce accepted with little pushback, much to Logan’s fury.

Your godfather yelled at the four of you through the phone later that day, but there was no fear sitting within your stomach, like there usually was when he got angry. No, you were laughing. Kendall and Shiv and Roman—they were stifling their own smiles down at the screen, too.

That night, you stood on your balcony, a lit cigarette loosely balanced between your fingers. You weren’t at all a smoker—in fact, you hadn’t had one ever since you joined Waystar. It was an unprofessional look, in a sense. Not something you wanted to be associated with. 

The goddaughter that smelled of cheap cigarettes. Wasn’t that an unattractive thought?

But you didn’t have to worry about that anymore, did you? Honestly, you weren’t quite sure yourself. You’d just assumed you were no longer part of the company, but knowing Logan…

He always had something up his sleeve. Maybe he’d wait until the siblings lowered their guards to snipe you in the back of the head. Or lure you back with meaty bait. 

You took a short drag, faint grey wisps falling past your lips as you breathed out. 

“You smoking now? Doing a little smokey smokes?” came Roman’s voice from behind you, making you turn your head with a slight grin. “Since when?”

“First one since I was a little baby teenager, I think,” you replied. Roman leaned onto the balcony railing beside you, shoulder pressing flush against yours. “They taste disgusting. Here—”

You took a drag—a longer one, this time—leaned forward until your lips were just a whisker away from his, and blew the smoke into him. He inhaled deep before jerking forward to kiss you, nose nudging yours in his fervor.

“Yeah. Fucking disgusting,” he mumbled against your lips, as if wanting to propel you into something more than just kisses. 

Your eyes lit up with amusement, but you pulled away, leaving a lingering kiss on the side of Roman’s nose. The cigarette wasn’t at all used up, but you put it out on a small ashtray you had taken with you. 

“I just wanted to try,” you said. “Was wondering if I’d like it after all this time, now that I have the freedom to.”

There was a curious glint to Roman’s molten eyes. “And do you?”

“Nah. Like I said—they taste disgusting.”

“Some people like disgusting,” he off-handedly said, and you shot him a pointed look.

A breezy laugh, lost to the wind. “Yeah. I might know someone.”

“You’re a goody two-shoes, you know that?” he commented snidely, but his eyes were far too soft for his words to strike harsh. “But it’s good. We need someone like that. The company, I mean.”

“I know,” you whispered back. “I’m glad we’re doing this.”

“Yeah,” Roman said, his hand lacing with yours. He began tugging you back inside. “Me too.”

Connor wanted the four of you to come to his wedding rehearsal at a fancy restaurant downtown—he texted you multiple different addresses, each text telling you to disregard the last one. Then, he called you (called Shiv first, but she was on the phone, passive-aggressively bickering with Tom), and told you exactly where he was. Apparently Willa wasn’t very happy with the venues they’d booked. He sounded sad—it was always easy to tell when he was sad.

And so the four of you set off for him, though not without Roman’s constant complaints. Spending some quality time with their eldest brother was the last thing the Roy siblings wanted to do—they had far more pressing matters at hand. 

Sandi and Stewy, for one. They wanted to veto the acquisition for more dollars squeezed from Matsson’s hand. Roman was starkly against the idea, not wanting to blow more bullets into his father. Shiv and Kendall were far more willing to listen, though Kendall eventually backed down. It was appealing, you had to admit, especially because you hated Matsson’s guts, but you wanted to put business aside for the moment. Spend some time with Connor—after all, he was going to get married soon. If that ever ended up happening, that is.

Once inside the restaurant’s halls, you caught sight of Willa hurrying down the wide staircase by the entrance, looking a bit frazzled. 

“Oh, hi!” she said, slightly breathless. “So you’re here now, huh?”

“Hi, Willa,” you greeted, embracing her with a loose hug before stepping back. “Are you… going somewhere?”

“You standing up my big bro?” Roman quipped from right behind you. He was joking, but Willa only frowned. “Are you okay? Did something happen?” 

There was a nervous laugh from both parties.

“Oh, yeah! Yeah, yeah, I’m just—I’m having a little drink. Away.” 

Both you and Roman spared each other confused glances.

“Is the dinner rehearsal thing over? He still up there?” Roman asked.

The blonde fiddled with her phone, nearly dropping it. “Oh, uh, the rehearsal isn’t—it’s not done, no.”

“You’re leaving your own wedding rehearsal?” you gently questioned.

She smiled, though it came off only sad and tired. “I think they can manage. I’m not vital from here.”

Roman squinted at her. “Yeah, well… I mean, normally the bride is generally considered—correct me if I’m wrong—I think the bride is pretty vital in a wedding. Don’t you think?” 

“Well! Yeah, but… I should go, though. Have a think about it all. I’m in a bit of a fuzz.” She laughed again, though it looked like she wanted to cry. 

Nodding, you said, “Take care of yourself, Willa. Let us know if you need anything.”

She pursed her lips, eyes soft with appreciation. The two of you had never been quite close, but there was a mutual understanding between you. To be the pedestals of Roy men, the unnamed crutch, the woman on the arm. 

With that, she hurried away. 

“Fairy tale wedding, huh?” Shiv said, eyebrows raised. “Should we even go up? Seems like the rehearsal is over.”

“She said it wasn’t,” you replied, shrugging. “We should go see Con.”

Roman crossed his arms. “Yeah, Shiv, we really should. Why? You got something better to do than see your own brother before his wedding?”

“No, it’s just—we’ve got quite a lot to discuss, that’s all.”

It was Kendall’s turn to query, “What? Sandi and Stewy? They’re baiting us. Just let it go, Shiv.”

“I think they could really help us! We overpromised on Pierce!” she hotly defended.

“It’s a mind game,” Roman agreed with Kendall. “Just—fuck ‘em, okay?”

The redhead looked at you, but you shook your head. “Let’s just go see Connor, okay? We can hash it out after making sure he hasn’t got a gun barrel in his mouth.”

“Sure. Fine,” Shiv said, though it didn’t seem all that fine to her, judging from her pinched expression.

The four of you traipsed up the stairs, spotting Connor instantly—alone, surrounded by near-untouched platters of expensive food.

“Found him,” Roman sarcastically commented, pointing a finger at his oldest brother, who cracked a fond smile.

“Finally,” Connor said. “Took you guys long enough.”

Roman gave him an embrace from the side, saying, “Hey, bro. Hugsy.”

To the other side, Kendall patted his shoulder, another hand thumping on his chest. Shiv only barely leaned down to hug him, telling him, “Dad screwed us.”

“Yeah,” the eldest said. “I heard. But look at you guys—the Rebel Alliance.”

You were last to give Connor a hug, squeezing him tight, pressing a chaste kiss to his cheek. “How’s the rehearsal been?”

A non-committal noise slipped past his lips. “Been good. It’s been okay.”

Roman made a strange, wincing sound, sucking air through his teeth. “Sure. Yeah, I believe you.”

Keen to change the subject, Connor surveyed his siblings—and you—with narrowed eyes. “So this is how it is, huh? Battle royale. Me and Dad on one side, you guys on the other?”

Strange, you hadn’t quite recalled Connor being so in with his father’s business plans. And… the fact that Logan hadn’t shown up to the wedding rehearsal at all.

“You okay, man?” Roman queried, genuine concern slipping over his features. He was always one to wear his heart on his sleeve. “We bumped into Willa on the way in. She seemed all…” He drew up his hands to his face and shook his fingers about.

Pointedly, Connor dropped his gaze down to the table. Untouched food left and right.  “Yeah. It’s alright. I think it’s fine.”

“You sure, Con?” you asked, slipping into the seat beside him, Roman on your other side. 

“Yeah, well, I guess she just—she stood up to do her speech, and then she froze. Said that she couldn’t do it.” There was a laugh, dry and unpleasant and somber. “Then she went to the bathroom for forty minutes with her so-called friends.”

Roman wrinkled his nose and squinted his eyes at nothing in particular. “Oh, no, no, that’s—that’s totally fine. Don’t you worry about that. Just toss her another ten grand—or a snowmobile. Teeth-whitening vouchers.”

Unhappy with the meaning behind his brother’s words, Connor pushed himself away from the table, heading off to speak to Willa’s mom. 

Tossing a glare in Roman’s direction, you sighed out, “Was that really necessary?”

“What? It’s the truth, isn’t it?”

Slumping into the chair across from you, Kendall huffed out, “This is so fucking weird.”

“Do we regroup at my place?” Shiv asked, still standing, impatient to leave even though they’d just gotten there.

Tilting his head, Roman incredulously said, “Shiv. Come on. He’s… he’s looking a little rough. Don’t you think?”

“Well, sure. I’m sorry that Dad fucked us and I’m sorry that we’re late. But we do need to decide fast.” 

“The Sandi and Stewy deal?” you queried.

Shiv let out a frustrated exhale. “Yeah.”

“Well, I think we’re already decided, no?” Kendall said, lifting a shoulder in half a shrug. Roman nodded in agreement.

“Are we, though? They made some pretty compelling arguments.” Shiv tapped her foot against the hardwood floors impatiently.

Glancing over at Connor, who was trying his best to console Willa’s mother, you bobbed your head, hesitant. “It could potentially ruin Matsson. The deal. I’d like to see it.”

Groaning a little too loudly, Roman said, “Sandy’s just a greedy little bitch. She’s got her hand up the ass of the carcass of her dad, and Stewy’s just coming along for the ride. Can we not do this right now? It’s a fucking—it’s a packet of horseshit.”

Trying her best to stay calm, Shiv perched herself on the edge of the seat next to Kendall. “Okay. And what if I want to talk it through? This would help us.”

Kendall arched a brow. “I think we should just rise above it.”

“Yeah, okay, but maybe Dad is not on it like he used to be—and maybe he’s underplayed his hand, and the board are all just hand-fucking-picked Japanese plastic cats just waving it through,” Shiv argued.

“It doesn’t hurt to try,” you added, trying your best to sway Roman by nudging him gently. He merely rolled his eyes and prodded you back, but said nothing more.

It was then that Connor came hurrying back, carding a hand through his hair. He tiredly sank back down into his seat. “No luck. Still incommunicado. I just really hope she’s okay.”

“I’m sure she is,” you told him, rubbing a hand over his shoulder. “She just needs space, is all.”

“Yeah.” As if he’d flipped a switch, Connor straightened and plastered on a smile. “So, what do you guys say? A little bit of karaoke?”

All three siblings grimaced. 

“Or would it be possible,” Roman began, scratching at his jaw, “to do anything other than that, in the entire universe?”

“I think karaoke sounds nice,” you offered. Honestly, you weren’t too keen on doing karaoke when your mind was abuzz with a million other things at the moment, but it was Connor, and he seemed so down about Willa at his own wedding rehearsal, and you just couldn’t bring yourself to say no to him. It was like kicking at an already-wounded puppy.

Connor grinned. “Nice! One in the bag. Come on, you guys. Don’t leave us hanging.”

Shiv looked near ready to bash her head against the table. Kendall was glancing down at his phone—texting someone.

Roman rolled his eyes and groaned again, even louder than before. “Ugh. Fine! We can drink, though, right? I’m not listening to you sing sober.”

Clearing her throat, Shiv said, “Well, I just, we kind of have—other engagements right now—”

“Oh, sure. Everybody’s busy,” Connor crooned. Though, if you looked close enough, you’d see the unmistakable hurt in his eyes. Why didn’t his baby sister want to spend time with him?

“Come on,” Kendall said with an urgent hand slanting over Shiv’s shoulder, phone gone for now. “Let’s give him a drink.”

Clapping his hands, Connor stood up again. “Great! But—not any of your stupid places. Somewhere fun and real and—away from all the fancy dance. A real bar with, uh, with chicks, and guys who work with their hands in grease—sweat dripping down their backs and blood all over their hair.”

“I don’t like these guys. They sound like a medical experiment gone wrong,” Roman piped up, slinging an arm over your shoulder.

“Sounds hot,” you said with a genuine laugh. “Let’s go.”

The bar itself was atmospherically ambient, the lights warm and unharsh, the chatter light and friendly, the television playing a football match at a soft volume. You smiled—it’d been a while since you stepped foot into an actual bar full of people who weren’t aristocratic assholes.

Normal people doing normal things. What was that like?

Roman, on the other hand, looked particularly uncomfortable, shoulders stiff and expression taut. He was only here for his big brother, but his saint-like kindness only wore so thin.

Kendall ordered drinks for the lot of you—whiskey on the rocks for himself, a sealed soda for Shiv since she didn’t trust anything from the bar’s “tainted” nozzles, a fancy beer for Connor, a vodka tonic for Roman, and a strawberry margarita for you. He snorted when you asked for it, rolling his eyes to the side. 

“You and your strawberries,” Kendall said, before heading off to call the bartender. You weren’t quite sure if his expression was fond or derisive. Perhaps both.

You sat beside Connor, peering over his shoulder, where he was staring at the screen with heavily knitted brows.

“Is that—is that Willa?” you asked, eyes widening upon seeing him zoomed onto a map with a tiny blue dot. “Are you tracking her?”

“Jesus, Con,” said Roman, laughing his high-pitched laugh. “That’s low, even for you.”

“What? I have her location shared,” the older brother said, earning quizzical looks from the three of you. “It’s a factory setting.”

Shiv made a noise of amusement. “It’s not.”

“Well…” Connor’s eyes darted back down to his screen, zooming in impossibly closer. “I’m reassured she’s definitely not on her way to Cuba.”

From his other side, Kendall appeared, hands shoved deep into his pockets. “Well, her phone isn’t.”

Connor decided to ignore the comment. “She stopped moving, so… I guess she found a spot she likes.”

“Sure!” crooned Roman. “On another man’s dick.”

The rest of you sighed, and you shook your head. 

“On a much bigger, nicer, harder, younger dick, is all I’m saying,” Roman reassured his eldest brother, patting his shoulders.

“Can we not?” Connor softly said, though he was smiling down at Rome. Even though his words hurt, just the fact that he was there for him cheered him up just a little bit. “Okay? I’m feeling—I’m having certain anxieties, alright? I want to have a good time!”

Once Roman muttered a quick apology, you bumped him off to the side so you can press up next to Connor again, staring down at the blue dot, still unmoving. “I’m sure she just needs a breather. It’s a big deal, y’know. Marriage.”

“I know,” said Con, sucking in a deep breath. There was a profound sort of loneliness to his eyes. “I just thought—I thought it was enough. All of it. It was enough for her.”

“It will be,” you said, nudging him. “Eventually. Just give her time.”

The drinks came then, and you hummed contentedly after taking your first sip. “Fuck. Why don’t they ever have shit like this at the fancy events we go to?”

“Because it’s diabetes in a cup,” Roman replied, but he plucked the glass from your fingers to snag a sip for himself. “It’s literal sugar water. Barely any alcohol in here.”

“Well, I’m not looking to get wasted,” you said, before snatching it back, shooting him a half-hearted glare. “You drank so much!”

“Nuh-uh, there was barely anything in there to begin with!”

“Roman, it was filled to the brim two seconds ago, what are you talking about?”

Before the two of you could divulge into a round of childish bickering, Connor abruptly straightened in his seat. “Her dot is at an aquarium supply retailer. That doesn’t make sense—is that a drug thing?”

Kendall cleared his throat. “No, I don’t think so.”

“You sure?”

Roman snickered. “It is. It’s a drug thing.”

“Maybe she’s getting a pet fish,” you unhelpfully supplied. “A little pre-wedding gift for the two of you?”

Frowning, Connor said, “Now she’s at a dry cleaner’s.”

“Probably getting her panties cleaned from the new dick’s cum,” quipped Roman. The absurdity of the statement made you laugh unexpectedly, but you quickly quietened when Connor stared at the two of you in horror. 

“What’s wrong with you?” he asked, as if he were a parent scolding a naughty toddler. 

“I’m not saying it’s your cum! Your cum, I’m sure, is very washable.” Roman droned on to an incredulous Connor some more, but your attention was drawn to Kendall, whose phone began to ring, and he quietly excused himself from the bar to take the call, face twisted into unmistakeable dread. You briefly wondered who he looked so anxious to talk to, but the thought was quick to banish from your mind entirely when Connor prodded Roman in the shoulder and said your name.

“Okay, that’s enough from you. Y/N, can you tell him to stop? Tell him to stop.”

“Stop it, Roman. Don’t talk about your brother’s cum, you weirdo.”

Rubbing his palms together, Roman shrugged the matter away entirely. “I’m starving. Anything to eat in this shit shack, or what?”

By the time Kendall came back, the rest of you were crowded into a small booth with a dingy little light hanging a little too low over the table. There was a platter of cheesy nachos in the center, which Shiv eyed with distaste. Roman was still looking over the menus, sarcastically wondering aloud from which creature they’d clipped the wings off of.

“Who were you talking to, Ken?” you asked. “It wasn’t Frank again, was it?” 

Kendall’s eyes darted from your face down to the floor. “Uh… no. No, it was—it was Stewy.” 

Something about his demeanor screamed that he wasn’t telling the entire truth, but you kept quiet, watching him with just barely narrowed eyes. 

“Oh, great. What the fuck does he want now?” Roman hissed, peering over the crinkled lamination of the menu he was holding. 

Kendall leaned forward slightly, regarding Shiv with a pointed stare. “Actually, guys, can I… can I show you something? On the comparables. It’s actually pretty fucking intriguing.” 

Your eyebrows rose a fraction. Just a few moments ago, Kendall wasn’t at all interested in Sandi and Stewy’s pitching. What changed his mind?

Nodding in satisfaction, Shiv added, “Yeah, see? It makes you think. Maybe Dad isn’t on it like he used to be. You know, he’s being pushed around by Matsson—hell, even by Kerry. Giving shows to his girlfriend? That’s just—it’s an embarrassment!”

Loudly, Connor exclaimed, “Fuck, she’s in the East River now! She’s in the—oh. Wait, no, she’s just on the bridge.” You popped a nacho in your mouth and glanced over at Connor, who was squinting down at his phone.

“Looks like she’s going on a little trip,” you hummed. “She’ll be fine.”

“Yeah, okay, not to be dicks, Con, but is it okay if we do a little breakout chat, just the four of us? We won’t be long, like—two minutes max,” Shiv said, expression serious and unyielding.

Rolling his eyes, Roman gestured to his oldest brother. “Hey, just—fuck it. Why don’t we fold Con in?” 

“Well, he’s not on the board, so—”

“Yeah, but he has a share. If the deal falls, he loses his payout.”

An incredulous frown pulled at his lips. “Excuse me?” Connor said.

“Oh, okay, so Shiv wants to get us mixed up in some drug deal that will fuck the vote tomorrow,” Roman told him, pursing his lips in an exaggerated fashion.

Holding her hands out, Shiv shook her head. “Uh, no. All we’re aiming for is a small delay. We all want the deal to go through.”

“Right,” you said with an amused snort. “Sure.”

“I, uh… I think I agree,” said Kendall.

Roman’s eyes widened. “Oh, what the fuck? Seriously?”

 “It’s just—looking at the numbers… it’s compelling.”

With a grand scoff, Roman shook his head. “It’s compelling? Wow. You’d find a bag of peanuts more compelling, Kendall.”

You placed a hand over Roman’s jolting knee. “Rome, why don’t we just hear them out?” His eyes met yours, hesitant and conflicted. “And think—wouldn’t it be fun? Fucking Matsson in the ass?”

“Yeah, I bet you’d like that, you freak,” he scoffed, crossing his arms.

“So you guys are just gonna force Dad to grovel?” Connor asked, mouth parted in surprise. “Oh, man. How long will a renegotiation take?”

Shiv’s lips twisted downwards, though it was more of a smile than a frown. “It’s a play. More money is more money, and that’s all there is to it.”

It was then that Roman’s phone, facing upwards on the chipped table, vibrated thrice. The screen lit up with a text notification. 

Dad.

All the siblings had seen it, and Shiv rushed to angle the phone towards her. Roman slapped her hand away, yanking his phone towards his chest. Hiding it.

“What the fuck?” Shiv asked, wary. “The fuck is Dad messaging you for?”

Roman stood frozen, reminiscent of a deer in headlights. “Uh, I don’t know. Why don’t you ask him? Stupid question, Shivvy.”

Kendall stared at his younger brother blankly. “You’re not gonna read it?”

There was a brief pause. “Yeah, I’ll—I’ll read the damn thing. Sure.” A swipe of his phone, a kink to his brows. “It’s just a check-in.”

“Oh, yeah?” Shiv said, skeptical. “A check-in? Oh, yeah. Classic Dad. He just loves to check in on us, see how we’re doing.” 

Backing down, Roman fessed up, “Okay, fine, I sent him a text on his birthday. Just saying, you know, happy birthday, sorry we missed it—”

“I’m sorry, wait a minute!” Shiv exclaimed. “You texted him first?”

Roman frowned. “It was his birthday, yeah.”

“We said no contact until he apologizes!” she angrily pointed out.

“Okay, so then never?” Roman shot back, scowling.

With a tilt of your head, you said, “It was just a simple happy birthday, right? That’s harmless. Right, Roman?” You pressed your foot over his, enough so he could feel the pressure, but not enough to hurt him.

“Yeah. That was it.”

“Nuh-uh. I want to see your phone,” said the red-head. 

A flicker of panic flashed across Roman’s eyes. “Oh, really? Show me yours, then! World’s biggest WhatsApp group of people sharing pictures of your snatch. No, thank you. Fuck off, fuck you.”

“Roman, come on,” Kendall said. “We have to trust each other.”

Memories of Kendall forcefully taking Roman’s phone from you in Hungary briefly crossed your mind. You pursed your lips. He’d been hiding things from you then, who was to say he wasn’t hiding things from you now?

Relenting, Roman tossed his phone onto the table, almost hitting the platter of nachos. He was growing angrier by the second, frustrated by his siblings' shoes pressing against his spine. “Fine, take a good look. I don’t give a shit. It’s just dick pics, anyway. He’s got a real taste for ‘em now.”

You leaned over to read along with Shiv and Kendall. It looked fine to you—since it was just a simple birthday wish, but they seemed much more harsh in their critique.

“This is more than one text, Roman.” There was a crease between Shiv’s brows.

“Okay. What is it? Two, three?”

Kendall rubbed the faint stubble over his jaw. “It’s a bit warm.”

“Warm? Why, what did I say?”

“Take care.”

Scoffing, Roman’s eyes rolled up to the dingy, low-hanging light. “What was I supposed to say? Happy birthday, hope you fall down a flight of stairs, shithead!”

“I feel a little bit weird about this betrayal, if I’m being honest,” Shiv said in a steely tone. 

“Betrayal?” Roman parroted, almost offensively. “The betrayal of happy birthday, Dad. Take care!” 

“You know what?” Kendall chimed in. “I’m feeling a bit betrayed, too.”

Upset, Roman just about slammed his phone back down on the tabletop. “Wow. Great. Fucking family guilt-trip fest.”

“It wasn’t that bad,” you said, pinching the space between your brows. “It’s not illegal to say happy birthday, guys. Relax, okay?”

Connor nodded. “It’s hard. It’s been hard on everybody.”

The five of you sat in silence for a bit longer. Has it been hard? Or did it just feel like it because all of you had been so accustomed to getting everything handed over on a silver platter? 

Finally, Shiv swallowed heavily and said, “You know that he advised Tom on the divorce? Gave him a Dad trick—went and spoke to every pit bull in Manhattan and tied them up. I got Mommed.”

You frowned. So much had happened in the past few months, you’d sort of even forgotten Shiv and Tom were heading for divorce. “Tom did that? Jeez… I’m sorry, Shiv.”

Roman blew out a breath, mildly relieved that the heat was taken off of him for a moment. “I mean, there’s probably one more horrible motherfucker lawyer around somewhere, but, uhm… that sucks. I’m sorry.”

Shiv refused to meet either of your gazes. She didn’t want to be reduced to… Tom’s ex-wife. A shadow of her mother. 

“Guys, I just feel like we need to stick together,” Kendall said, firm. We should push back, and we should all be on board. We squeeze them.”

Equally level, Roman placed his hands on the table. “Okay, but, we want to do Pierce, right? We want an out?”

“Yes. But just with a bit more money,” Kendall agreed. 

“Yeah, that’s the thing—I don’t think Matsson will go up in price,” Roman argued. “He won’t! I know this, because I’ve spoken to him. I really think he might walk.”

 Good, you wanted to say, but you bit down on your tongue.

Both Shiv and Kendall began poking fun at him for not calling Matsson’s bluff.

Exasperated, Roman rubbed his knuckles along his hairline. “Okay, it just sounded like he meant it.” He didn’t look happy with the prospect of blocking the deal. He wanted to be a traitor to his Dad without being a traitor. To have his cake and eat it, too.

Shiv and Roman fell into another argument about whether or not Roman cared over conflict—that he was scared of his own Dad and wanted to back down like a coward.

Quelling his riled-up siblings, Kendall motioned for them to quiet down. “Honestly, though, guys. I think going with Sandi and Stewy is the best thing for us to do. As a team.”

Shiv nodded in agreement. “It’s a play. Buys us a couple weeks and more money.”

“He’ll get it,” Kendall said, trying to sway Rome. “It’s what Dad would do in his prime.”

And was that the goal? To try and imitate the beast to scare him off? A moth with false eyes to ward away predators?

Roman squinted at nothing in particular. Then, he angled his face to look at you. You hadn’t at all realized that your features were immobilized in uncertainty. 

“What?” Roman asked, knee knocking against yours.

“Your Dad’s going to hate us if we pull this.”

Roman laughed, high and nervous. The idea made him nauseous. “Seems like he already does.”

“No, he… he loves you. All of you. But this is… he’ll hate that he loves you, sure, that’s always been the case. But this time… he’ll hate you if you’re the reason he can’t win.”

Something sick twisted within Roman’s gut. He seemed to go all pale and wide-eyed. 

“It’s just a play, though,” Shiv said. 

“Just a play,” Roman echoed, sounding unsure. “It isn’t real?”

Kendall nodded. Shiv, too.

“Fine. Yeah, fuck it. I’m in.” Roman caved, and the two smiled at him. You squeezed his knee. 

With a sharp exhale, Connor huffed, “God damn it. God fucking damn it! You ruined it. You ruined it all.”

Roman apologized, but it seemed to fall upon deaf ears. Kendall tried to calm him down by asking his brother what he wanted to do. After all… it was supposed to be his big night before the big day.

“I wanted to get married tomorrow,” he said, cross. “I wanted to spend tonight with my family and tomorrow with Dad. I wanted to get my fucking money out. But you guys fucked it!”

Feeling mildly guilty, your other hand came up to rub Connor’s shoulder. “I’m sorry, really. You’re an innocent bystander caught in the crossfire. What can we do to make you feel better, Con?”

Several moments passed by in silence as Connor thought about it. What did he want? A giant bowl of ice cream so large you couldn’t see around it? A perfectly-tailored suit from the most expensive store he could find? A vintage bottle of whiskey and a nice book to sit with? They all sounded appealing to him.

“I would…” he finally started, “I’d like to sing one fucking song at karaoke because I’ve seen it in the movies, and nobody ever wants to go.”

Roman just about banged his head on the table. You flicked at his ear, before turning back to Connor. “Karaoke. Yeah, we can do that, Con.”

The room was illuminated with hazy shades of purples and blues, the lights hidden behind indents in the wall. It looked modern and sleek—an upscale to what was typically seen in the movies. Connor didn’t hesitate to make a beeline for the karaoke machine, fiddling with buttons and remotes and smiling to himself when he managed to get it up and working without asking for help. Shiv and Kendall wandered around cautiously. Roman was quick to toss himself onto the long, spacious couch, hanging off of the seats as if he were melting. You curled up beside him with a pleased hum, nose brushing over his lower cheek, scratchy with barely-there stubble.

There was a bit more dilly-dallying—Connor was concerned about Willa’s blue dot disappearing completely. The siblings were quick to brush him off, reassure him, tell him he wasn’t going to ever do better than Willa. The usual.

You sipped on a glass of champagne that Kendall handed you. There was more chatter—amicable and light and teasing. You poked fun at Kendall’s lame hat whilst Shiv plainly told Roman that his shoes were a size too large for his feet. That his feet were small and dainty and he would fall over if they were any smaller. More drinks, more giggling, more stories. You learned that fresh-faced college Kendall once puked on Stewy’s bed and cried at the foot of it after drinking too much. You told the siblings that you once slept with Angelina from accounting during your first year at the company, to which they responded with shocked snorts. There was a point where Roman grabbed your face and kissed you and kissed you until the rest of the siblings began faux-gagging, and Connor complained that it was like watching his siblings make out. Goddaughter-and-son incest, he’d said. 

It was fun, maybe. The closest to fun you could have with Roy siblings.

And it was gone in a second, like a candle snuffed in a hurricane. 

Logan was coming. Connor invited him because he loved him and he loved all of you and—

It hurt. Simple as that. It hurt to see the people he loved so… so torn.

The smiles melted away, and the laughter buzzed down. It was tense again. Family turned business once more. Connor finally put on a song to sing while he waited for his father to come, but your ears rang with white noise, so you didn’t quite register which song he was brokenly following along.

You were scared, you realized. Scared to face the man with the knife in his back. Roman worked his jaw and he complained some more. Not that you really heard what he said.

At some point, his phone began to ring, vibrating in his pants, pressed up against your leg. You raised a brow and scooched back so he could take it out to check. 

Logan. Dad. Of course. Roman’s hands shook, but only a little bit. Enough for you to see. Shiv grabbed it and hung up for him, not liking how long he hesitated. You stared at the black screen for a bit longer, your own fingers twitching.

Connor continued to sing. He finished three songs—maybe four—until the door creaked open. No knocks.

Colin came in first, then your godfather, then Kerry. He nodded, almost polite, with a casual greeting hanging in the air. It was eternally strange, the way Logan smiled at you. Warm, maybe. You didn’t know.

“Shit,” Roman said, almost amused, mostly… unprepared.

Chancing a glance to Shiv and Kendall, you noticed their stiff upper lips, their frozen postures. 

“Can we go somewhere else?” Logan asked, glancing around the large room. “These lights, er…”

Shiv shook her head in exasperation. A roll of her eyes. “We’re not going anywhere.”

There was little resistance to Logan. “Fine,” he easily acquiesced. With that, he took a seat in a velvet black chair, across all the siblings and you. Kerry jerked to sit next to him, which made Shiv recoil with a sneer.

“We won’t be needing you, Kerry. Thanks.”

Roman nodded. “Yeah, this here is a family fuck-fuck.”

There were a few glances around, Logan and Kerry looked at each other but neither moved. 

“Let’s get this figured out, and I can let you get back to your fun,” said Logan, ignoring them.

“Might be a wasted trip,” Kendall sardonically replied, tongue sharp. “Wanna give us a blast of New York, New York and fuck off?”

“I wanted to say something,” their father said.

Shiv retorted something else, and Kendall snickered under his breath. The buzzing in your ears grew louder.

“I guess I just wanted you there, a bit,” Logan said. “At my party.”

It was a play. Was it? Yes, of course. But if it wasn’t… 

But it was.

“Holy shit,” Kendall crooned. “Did Dad just say a feeling?”

“Well, you know. I thought maybe it would be nice,” said Logan. 

With exaggerated motions of his hands, Kendall exclaimed, “Oh, fuck! Now it’s all coming out! Oh, my God, Mr. Melodrama here! It’s like a fucking telenovela!”

Connor gestured between Kendall and his dad. “Come on, guys. He’s trying.”

Logan smiled, calm. “Y/N, dear,” he began. Your eyes snapped up to meet his and your spine seemed to grow rigid. “I had a lovely chat with your father. He was… surprised that you’re no longer holding Waystar together. Wouldn’t it be a shame, considering all the money he’s invested into the company? You’re setting millions on fire.”

The siblings all looked at you, curious. You swallowed, finding your throat painfully dry, despite all the champagne you’d been sipping prior to Logan’s arrival.

“If they expected me to stay at Waystar my entire life, they were always bound to be disappointed,” you responded, careful. “I won’t be tied down.”

A twitch of the old man’s mouth. Down or up or perhaps it hadn’t moved at all. “A shame. You worked so hard to compose acquisition branch details on Pierce just under a year ago. So much paperwork.” He shook his head. “And all of you—you knew I wanted Pierce ever since then. When I lost out, it wasn’t a good feeling.”

Fed up, Shiv finally leaned forward and hissed out, “I’m sorry, can we just cut the shit? It’s obvious why you’re here, Dad!”

Unsuspectingly, Kerry chimed, “Your father wanted to address the personal stuff and not just launch into business.”

Shiv’s jaw clicked. “Well, see, this isn’t personal, Dad. This is a business decision. This is about the money.”

Logan bobbed his head. “Look, you’re smart to ask about the money. You are. But Matsson—he won’t go there. You haven’t been around this, but I’ve got done a good deal and you’ll get enough to do whatever you want. I do ATN, you do Pierce. It’ll be a fresh start for all of us. It’ll make things better, and it starts there. All you have to do is… vote yes and support the deal.”

There was an uneasy shift next to you—Roman looked torn.

“You can separate the personal from the business,” Kerry offered. “Reset your dynamic as a family.”

Shiv snorted. “Oh, super! It’s gonna be just like how it used to—summer vacay and road trip musicals!” 

Hesitant, Roman supplied, “It just… it may be more complicated than that, dad.”

“I guess you’re still in the honeymoon phase,” Shiv told Kerry, cold and sarcastic. “Getting your own show on TV… amazing.”

The dark-haired woman glanced around, seeming to shrink further into her seat.

“No?” Roman asked, his attention piqued. Anything to latch onto to make everything feel less—tortuous. “You’re not going to be on TV now?”

Shiv laughed. “Has he fucked you on that?” 

Kendall nodded. “That’ll happen. The fucking. But congrats on losing your betrayal cherry—”

“Enough!” Logan said. It wasn’t loud, but heavy with finality. Your pulse skipped a beat, scratching down your ribcage almost painfully. Logan looked tired. “I though you’d be interested in an apology, but that’s enough.”

Incredulous, Shiv held a hand out. “Wait, what? An apology? We missed that, I think.”

Logan fixed an intense stare over all his children. “Look, I don’t do apologies. But if it means so much to you, then… sorry.”

In all your years of living, you’re not sure you’ve ever heard Logan apologize before. Was it genuine? Was it real? There was a long, terse silence. Roman stared at his father with his mouth slightly agape. You wrapped your arms around your stomach and stared at the door. Connor was looking down at his shoes. Kendall aimlessly observed Logan, finding that the apology he’d yearned for so many years of his life seemed to fall incredibly flat.

Shiv just about glared at her father in a challenging fashion, lips pursing tight. “There is nothing you could say to me now that I would ever believe.”

“This deal push could be worth a hundred mil to us, Dad,” said Kendall. “How many sorrys do we get for that?”

Kerry was starting to say something, but Roman butted in, looking incredibly troubled. “What are you actually sorry for, Dad? Are we actually doing this? Because I think, you know… seriously, what fucked all of this was when… it all happened with Mom in Italy.”

Logan averted his gaze to the carpeted ground. “Yeah, okay. I’ve had certain thoughts about that. With the best of intentions, I got the structure of the holding company, and the ownership structure of the family trust. There is a lack of clarity, and maybe you got a—”

“Amazing,” Shiv deadpanned, cutting her father off. “You sure you’re not having a seizure?”

For the first time in a very long time, Connor raised his voice at his baby sister. “He’s trying, Shiv! You said you were interested in an apology!”

Shiv glared at her father again. In a less harsh tone, she asked, “Anything else, Dad?”

There was a long pause. You wondered if Logan was haggling for words. 

“Come on, Dad,” Kendall goaded. “What are you sorry for?”

It felt like bullying, almost. In a severely twisted way. 

Kendall continued on, “Are you sorry for fucking ignoring Connor his whole life?”

“Bit strong,” protested Connor.

“Hitting Rome when he was a kid?” Kendall pointed at Roman, who shrugged.

“Oh, no—I mean, everyone hit me. I’m fucking annoying.” 

You frowned at Roman’s words, wrapping an arm around his waist. 

“Having Connor’s mom locked up?” Kendall continued on. 

Something twisted in the eldest Roy sibling’s expression. “Can we not do a whole show trial here?”

Finally, Shiv hissed out, “Okay, what about advising Tom on my divorce? Yeah? I mean, that took effort. That was above and beyond.”

“Tom asked me for advice,” said Logan. It didn’t go past everyone’s notice how he ignored all the rest of the hurtled accusations. “I recommended someone he could speak to. You weren’t around. If you’d been around, I would’ve offered you the same advice. But I can’t help you if you don’t see me.”

Shiv was hurt. It was clear as day, even if she refused to show it. She built up a wall, a front, brick by brick, and spun her hurt feelings into a low-flamed fury.

“Bottom line is, if we ask for more money, Matsson walks. I know that.”

“No!” Shiv asserted. There was something firmer in her tone this time. Angrier. “You don’t know that! You don’t know him! You don’t fucking know everything! Just because you say it doesn’t make it true! Everyone just fucking agrees with you and believes you so it becomes true—and then you can turn around and say oh! You see? I was right! But that’s just—that’s not how it is. You’re a human fucking gaslight!”

The silence that stretched across the room was thin. You were afraid to breathe, and so you bit down on your tongue.

Logan nodded and nodded. The brothers were quiet.

And so you felt compelled to say something. Sick with nerves, but compelled nonetheless. “Matsson has been fucking the company since the very start of negotiations. It’s only fair if you… bite him back.”

Logan watched you. There was something in his eyes that seemed to soften, but it was near imperceptible. Maybe you were simply seeing what you wanted to see. “I can’t take that risk,” he finally said. “Look, I just wanted to get us all together. What you kids don’t realize… this is a good deal. The world likes it. It makes sense. But deals have a habit of disappearing because pricks like Matsson get pissed off or snubbed. This… this is fucking real.”

You turned your head away and stared at the door once more. You wanted to leave. Crawl into bed and stop thinking about it all. Beside you, Roman was biting down on his thumb. A nervous habit.

“Okay, I think I can speak for everyone when I say this… go ask him for more money, Dad.” Shiv narrowed her eyes at her father.

“Why?” Logan asked. Are you not satisfied with what you already have? was the unsaid, lingering question hanging in the air.

Kendall tilted his head up. “Just good business sense. Gotta make our own pile. Right, Dad?” 

“Yeah, I just have to listen to my gut. I just gotta go with what my gut says,” Shiv piled on.

“Oh, come on. Jesus.” Logan pulled at his face, tired. In a span of five, maybe ten minutes… he seemed to age a decade. Finally, finally, the nice mask slipped. He leaned back in the velvet seat and spat out, “You’re such fucking dopes.”

Roman’s nose twitched and he shifted so he could lean further into you. You let him.

“You are not serious figures,” Logan went on. “I love you… but you are not serious people.”

His eyes were glassy for a second, but you weren’t exactly sure, because he stood up and hurriedly strode out of the karaoke room the very next second. No goodbyes. Kerry followed close behind him.

The hazy purple lights were beginning to make you nauseous. 

Everybody sat in silence for a little while longer. Let the conversation marinate. Shiv poured herself a drink and smiled into the rim, expression victorious.

“How was it for you guys?” she asked the group. “Fucking Dad, that is.”

“Amazing. Just over too soon. I could’ve kept going,” Kendall admitted.

Roman abruptly stood up, scratching the back of his head uncomfortably. He made a noise of disgust.

“Rome, we’re kidding, man,” Kendall said.

He began to pace around, like a caged animal. “No, I know. It’s fine. It’s cool.”

Connor also stood up, shrugging on his jacket. “Well… I’m going home. ‘M tired.” 

“G’night, Con,” you said. He reached over the couch to give you a one-armed hug from behind. “She’ll come home. Willa.”

“It’s fine,” Connor said. 

Kendall arched a brow. “Really?”

“Yeah.” There was a nod and a tap of his shoe. “The good thing about having a family that doesn’t love you is that you learn to live without it.”

Shiv’s face crumpled. “What? Con, that’s not—”

With a shake of his head, Connor scoffed. “You’re all chasing after Dad saying, “Oh, please, love me, love me, I need love, I need attention!””

“I think that’s the opposite of what just happened,” Shiv argued. 

“You’re needy love sponges,” Connor pressed. “And I’m a plant that grows on rocks and lives off insects that die inside of me.”

Shiv laughed, Roman huffed, and Kendall stayed silent. 

“If Willa doesn’t come back, that’s fine. ‘Cause I don’t need love. It’s like a superpower,” he said. “And if she comes back and doesn’t love me, that’s okay too. I don’t need it. Thanks for the party.” With that, he stepped out of the karaoke room.

You jolted out of your seat, ignoring Roman’s questions as to where you were going. You rushed out the door after Connor, nearly tripping over your own feet in your haste.

“Connor!” you called out. The older man halted in the middle of the dimly lit hallway.

“What? I’m not looking for pity, Y/N—”

You shuffled forward the last few steps and put your hand on his elbow. “Con, I just… I wanted to say—” You shook your head and wrapped your arms around him. “You’re my brother. I know you are. And… even if you don’t need love or whatever you were on about in there… I’ll still love you anyway. Okay? I don’t need you to need my love. You’ll have it.”

There was a momentary pause before Connor jerkily moved to pat your back and hug you back. Loose, but solid.

“You’re just a kid. A kid with my kid brother,” he said once he pulled away, rubbing his palms up and down your forearms. His eyes seemed to be watery and tired, but he laughed right from his belly. “I love you, too, kid.”

“Yeah?”

“Of course.”

The two of you grinned at each other. 

“G’night, Con.” He let you go when you stepped back. “Big day tomorrow.”

“Yeah…”  Connor nodded. “Big day.”

He walked off, and you watched him go. When you heard the door open, you turned to see Roman peeking his head out.

“Hey, Rome,” you greeted. “I love you, you know that?”

His eyes roamed over your face, and he smiled back. It was lopsided and slight. “Mmkay. Yeah, me too, fuckface. You feeling okay?” 

“Yeah. Should get home.” You craned your neck to lean forward, affectionately pecking his cheek. “You coming with?”

He shifted his weight from foot to foot. Eyes to the ground, then to the walls. Not on you. 

“Not… not yet. I’ll come in a bit. Just need to grab something from my place first.”

His place was barren. Everything in his place, you had in yours. You probably had more of his clothes in your closet than his own. You regarded him with a curious look, but decided not to press further.

“Okay, Rome. You have the key. Just don’t jostle me awake when you climb into bed.”

He guffawed. “I’ll sleep on the floor then, your royal majesty.” 

“Thank you.”

“I was joking. Just so you know. You prick.”

“I know. I wouldn’t want you to sleep on the floor, anyway. A waste of body heat.”

He kissed you then, surging forward to chase after your lips. You hummed in pleasant surprise, but kissed him back with just as much vigor. His lips were a darker shade of pink when he pulled away.

“See you at home, Roman.” After a final pat on his cheek, it was your turn to walk off. 

Roman wrung his hands nervously. There’d been a text to his phone while you were out talking to Connor—from his Dad. He glanced back at the door, where Shiv and Kendall were still speaking to each other inside. He rolled his shoulders and began to slowly walk out of the building, careful not to bump into you.

He was going to go pay his father a visit.

The top spot at ATN. Was it a tempting offer in it of itself or was it just tempting because his father was goading him to lick off the silver platter?

When he told you, and of course he told you, you just about blew up—in the most professional, stick-in-ass way possible—warning him not to take the offer with a strained voice and wide eyes. Not even consider it. ATN wasn’t where he wanted to be. His father was offering him a cyanide pill, obscured by a layer of fucking strawberries and cream.

The next morning, he numbly got dressed for Connor’s wedding. Got into the car after you, pinching your thigh once he clambered in next to you. His father called him on the way there, much to your dismay, telling him to come with him to meet Matsson, despite Connor’s wedding being literal hours away.

Roman turned him down. But he didn’t turn Logan away when he told Roman to fire Gerri since, apparently, he was beginning to lose faith in her. 

You were pretending not to listen to their conversation, but he knew you were. He could tell by the way your jaw seemed to twitch at the prospect of cutting Gerri loose. 

“Shit,” he breathed out once Logan hung up on him. “That’s fucking… bullshit.”

You drew your eyes away from the window, regarding him with narrowed eyes. “Don’t do it, Rome.”

Everything felt crowded and tense all of a sudden. Roman squared his shoulders defensively. There was a stinging quip on the tip of his tongue, but nothing seemed to come out other than a rather passive, “Mmh.” 

The rest of the drive to the wedding venue was silent. But your hand came to lace with his, and that made him feel just a bit better. 

Once there, about half a dozen cameras swarmed the two of you coming out of the car, taking several candid shots, much to your irritation. It was only expected, what with Connor being in the run for president and the whole wedding being a PR move, anyway. But you gave them a smile nonetheless, made a show of kissing Roman’s cheek and walked off to greet other work acquaintances and wedding guests. From the corner of your eye, you could see Roman trying to talk to Gerri with a rather terse look on his face. You tried not to pay him any mind. He was digging his own grave.

Half an hour later, the wedding planner announced for family and friends to start boarding the boat. The few businesswomen you were chatting to kissed you on the cheek and told you they’d see you soon. You waved them goodbye and made your way onto the boat. Kissed and hugged and congratulated Willa. She looked beautiful in her wedding dress, even if she didn’t appear all too happy wearing it. After a short conversation, you moved on into the boat.

It was lavishly decorated, screaming luxury and American patriotism. There was a concerning amount of blue and red strewn everywhere. They weren’t being very subtle, were they?

You made your way onto the second floor, greeted by Kendall in a pair of sunglasses.

“Hey, loser,” he said, nudging you in the side. “You look nice.”

“Thanks,” you replied, giving him a quick once over. “You look shitty. Hiding your terrible eyebags behind those shades, are you? Not doing a very good job, by the way.”

He seemed unfazed by your jab. “You excited for the wedding?”

“Neither Connor nor Willa seem too hot about it,” you told him with a mild grimace. On your way to the boat, you heard Connor yelling at his wedding planner about the cake being inadequate.

Kendall shrugged and pulled a nonchalant expression. “It’ll blow over. They’ll be fine.”

“I know. It just feels so… fake. All of it.” You jerked your head toward a frilly blue, red, and white banner. 

“Yeah, well, yours won’t be,” he said, scrutinizing you behind those ridiculous shades of his. “With Rome, I mean.”

“Wow! Yeah, well, we aren’t quite there yet, I think.” You laughed and rolled your eyes to the ceiling. “Besides, I can’t guarantee that you’re even invited to this hypothetical wedding. Who knows? I can never tell with you guys. You’re always five minutes away from ruining each other’s lives or being best friends.”

“I’ll crash your wedding if I’m not invited. It’s my baby brother, dude. I have to be there,” he said. You couldn’t tell if it was a joke or not. 

“Good to know,” came your lighthearted retort. “I’ll be sure to save a slice of cake for you.”

With that, you bumped your fist into his bicep and walked off. Then, you spotted Roman out on deck, phone in his hand. You stepped out just in time to hear him bark out, “Don’t listen to this if you don’t want to—but I’m not… I’m not, uh, totally okay with… are you kinda just being shitty with me, Dad? ‘Cause… your son is getting married, and you can’t fucking just keep expecting me to bend over for you and being cunty, so I’m just asking. Yeah—that’s the question, actually. Are you a cunt? Okay. Give me a buzz.”

There were a few seconds of silence after he hung up. You approached him from behind and slung both your arms around his waist, resting your chin on his shoulder. 

“Hey, fuckface,” he said. He sounded tired. Distressed.

“Hey,” you quietly said in reply. “I’m proud of you.”

“For calling Dad a cunt?”

“Yeah.” You huffed out a laugh. “I really am proud of you.”

Roman leaned back against you and hummed. “I just got on this boat and I already want to fucking leave.”

“That’ll break Connor’s heart.” 

“I know. I’m his favorite brother.”

“I think Shiv is his favorite brother, actually.”

The two of you laughed, and he didn’t bother arguing back. 

“Come on. I think Kendall and Shiv are looking for you,” you said, tugging him inside.

The two of you greeted the three other Roy siblings, where Connor was giving a rundown of his plan for Logan. 

“Okay, so the idea is that Dad will pop by, be dockside, and you guys will just be up here. I think that’s cleanest,” Connor told all of you.

Shiv pursed her lips and tilted her head. “Oh… okay. You really think he’s going to pop by?”

“I spoke with Kerry,” Connor said with a smile, crossing his fingers. “He’s hoping.”

With a nod of thanks, he gave you and Roman both a quick hug, before rushing back downstairs to be with his wife-to-be. 

“Well, someone’s gotta tell him,” said Shiv. “We should tell him.”

“We should,” Kendall agreed. Both you and Roman nodded. 

“Well, Shiv, you are his favorite,” you offered. 

The woman’s face regarded you as if you’d just stabbed her in the back. “No, come on—really?”

“He likes you,” Kendall insisted.

“Fine,” she sighed with slitted eyes. “I’ll be the wedding Grinch. Fuck you.”

The three of you watched her go with muted snickers. 

Then, Roman’s phone began to buzz. He fished it out of his pocket and let out an annoyed groan upon seeing Tom’s caller ID. 

“Oh my—ugh,” Roman hastily pressed on the green answer button, “Hello? Fucky-sucky brigade, how can I help you? Yeah?” 

You leaned onto the fancy leather couches next to Kendall, who was staring out the window, watching the gentle waves roil over the surface of the harbor. “Hey, Ken?”

“Mmh?”

“I’d invite you, you know.” 

Kendall’s eyes left the waters to look at you. “What?”

“To my wedding. Before I said I couldn’t guarantee you a spot—but I’d want you there.”

Something akin to gratitude flashed across his face. Before he could say anything, Roman’s panicked voice echoed over, and the both of you snapped your heads towards him.

“What?” he said into the phone. “Tom, what are you—?”

“What?” Kendall asked, immediately on his feet. “What’s happening?”

You followed suit, the two of you hovering over Roman’s sides. 

His palms grew white over the phone. “It’s—uh, Tom. Apparently Dad’s sick. Uh, what do you mean he’s sick? Sick, like—Tom? What’s going on? Are you still there?” 

“Where is he now?” you asked, brows furrowed. Roman could only shake his head, equally clueless, pulling the phone away so he could put it on speaker.

“Is he okay?” Kendall immediately asked. “Who’s with him?”

There was a lot of rustling and rummaging. It felt as if your heart had crawled its way into your throat. 

“It—it seems bad. Very, very bad. I’m so sorry to call you like this,” Tom’s voice crackled through.

“What?” you croaked. “What is it, though? Like, a fever?”

“Can you put him on the phone?” Roman asked. His voice shook and his brows were pulled tightly together. 

Again, Kendall asked the same questions, “Who’s there? Tom, what’s going on? What happened?”

“Ah—” You could practically see Tom scratching at his head. “He was short of breath and he went into the bathroom. And, well, uh, someone heard something and we were concerned, and they went in there.”

Kendall used his hands to gesticulate to nobody in particular. “They broke in?”

“They broke in, yeah. They had the key and they got in, but he’s not responsive.”

“Not responsive?” you parroted, eyes widening. This was far worse than just… sick. “Like—is he conscious?”

The brothers started to blurt out a multitude of questions, concerns exponentially heightened. 

“Is he talking? Can he talk?” Kendall asked.

“Is he breathing?” Roman’s shoulders were hunched over, as if he was trying to shrink in on himself. 

There was a brief pause. Uncomfortable and festered with fear. 

“They’re doing chest compressions,” Tom’s voice pierced through.

Your lungs seemed to contract in panic at his words. The room felt all the smaller. 

“Oh!” Roman exclaimed in a mixture of both shock and anguish. “Fuck.”

Kendall only pressed on with his queries. “Has his heart stopped?”

“I don’t know.”

“Do you guys have the machine on board? The heart thing?” Roman asked.

“The defibrillator,” you said, clutching both your anxious, wringing hands to your chest. 

How had the day turned on its head so quickly?

“Is Siobhan there?” Tom’s voice was patchy and unclear. It was hard to hear over Kendall’s barrage of frustration.

“No, she’s not,” said Roman.

“Karl said that maybe he’s breathing,” Tom claimed.

Leaning forward, you hissed out, “Karl isn’t a medical professional, Tom. Who’s trained in there?”

“The, uh, the people. The attendant. I’ll put you on speaker—here’s, uh, Karl, here—”

The older man’s voice buzzed through, “That captain has been informed. The cabin staff are receiving medical advice from their service.”

Both Kendall and Roman barked questions over each other. Faintly, you heard an additional third voice in the back of the call.

“Is that Frank?” you asked. 

Tom cleared his throat. “Yeah, so—Frank thinks you guys should speak to him.  And I can—I can hold the phone near him if you’d like.”

Roman bit down on his tongue, angry. “Why does Frank think that, Tom?”

“I guess if it’s a last chance, you know. I think it’s the last chance.”

A shudder and a glare from Roman to the phone. “What the fuck do you mean, Tom?”

“You think he’s gonna die?” you whispered, eyes stinging as you stared down at the screen, watching the seconds of the call tick by.

“He’s… he’s not in good shape. They’re doing chest compressions.”

“Well, should they be doing that?” Roman just about yelled at the phone. You placed a hand on his hunched shoulder.

Frank began talking again, “They’re getting advice, they know what they’re doing. But I think you should talk to him. I’m not sure he’s breathing.”

The two both spluttered angrily. In denial, in frustration, in utter devastation.

“We just heard that he was breathing two seconds ago, Frank. You shouldn’t be doing CPR on someone who’s heart is still going! What the fuck is going on, Frank?” Kendall gritted out.

“I’ll put you by his ear,” Tom said. “I’ll put you right by him. He’ll be able to hear you if—if he can.”

If you hadn’t been so hyperfocused on the call, you would’ve realized that your entire body began to simultaneously tremble and tense, like a plank of wood caught in a hurricane. 

“Uh, you might wanna get Shiv, so she can—” 

“Yeah, we’ll—we’ll get her,” said Roman.

“Okay, I’ll put you by him now.”

“Is he okay?”

“No, Rome, he’s not okay.”

“You can speak now. Go ahead.”

There was a blistering silence. Roman gestured for Kendall to take the phone first, but he shook his head. He turned to you, but you weren’t even looking in his direction, clamoring for your own phone to try and contact Karolina. Your hands seemed not to work in coordination with your mind, because you struggled getting your phone to unlock, and then struggled even more to open up the right app to get to your contacts list.

This left Roman to speak to his maybe-dead dad on his own. He hurried around the room, as if there was going to be a corner on this wretched yacht that would make this somewhat easier to say. He ended up crouching by the end of the leather couch. 

“Hey, Dad. I, uh, hope you’re okay. You’re okay. You’re going to be okay.” Was he reassuring himself or his father? “Because you’re a—you’re a monster, and you’re going to win. ‘Cause you just—you just win. That’s what you do. And you’re, uh… you’re a good man. You’re a good dad. A very good dad. Uh… you did a good job. No—no. I’m sorry, I don’t know how to do that.”

With that, Roman unceremoniously stood up and shoved his phone right into your palms, tugging away your own. “It’s your turn.”

Your shaking grew all the worse, but you put on a brave face and held it up to your face.

“Oh, uhm—hi, Uncle Logan. You, uhm… oh—I wasn’t prepared or this, you know, I would’ve… I would’ve, if I’d known, I wouldn’t have…”

It occurred to you that you managed to say absolutely nothing in the precious few seconds he had left. This sent you spiraling into another bout of anxious trembling. You only barely registered Roman’s own shaking hand on your side.

“You were so—such a big role in my life. So important. And—and, and, I really couldn’t have done anything without your help. Thank you. For everything. I… I love you, Uncle Lo. Really, I do. And I love your kids like my own siblings, and—and Rome, I’m—I love him. I promise I’ll, uh, I’ll take care of him. I just—uhm, I can’t really, there are just so many things you…”

Your nails scratched over your chest as you heaved out a shuddering breath. Realizing you couldn’t finish, you made your way over to Kendall and handed the phone to him with teary eyes.

“Okay,” Kendall said with the phone by his nose, blinking helplessly at the ground. “Hang in there. Yeah? Uhm…”

“It’ll be okay,” Roman softly whispered to him.

“It’ll be okay,” Kendall repeated into the phone. “We love you, Dad. Okay? We love you. I love you, Dad. I do. I love you, okay? Uh—and… it’s okay. Even though you fucking… I don’t know. I can’t—I can’t forgive you.”

You sniffled and wiped a stray tear with the sleeve of your dress. 

After a few final words, Kendall handed the phone back to Roman. Tom’s voice crackled through again, asking for Shiv. 

“Ken’s gonna get Shiv,” Roman said, voice small and child-like. Kendall nodded and staggered his way out of the room.

There was more commotion on the other end of the line. 

“What’s going on now?” Roman asked. 

“I, uhm—there’s, I’m not so sure—” Tom’s glitchy voice replied. “I think he’s gone, Roman.”

“What?” you asked.

“I think—I don’t know, I think there might not be a pulse, they’re not—”

A few seconds passed, with only scuffling noises on the other end. Shiv and Kendall appeared through the doorway just a minute later.

“They think he’s gone,” Roman told his sister as he handed the phone to her. “They think he’s dead.”

“What?” Shiv asked, her eyes welling up almost instantaneously. “No! I… I can’t have that.”

Tom spoke a few words to his wife, telling her that he was putting the phone back by Logan’s ear. Shiv strode away to ramble to her father in a semi-panicked fashion. She called him Dad at first, which spiraled into whisper-cries of Daddy, and angry curses intermingled with a multitude of I love yous.

You tugged at your face, aching with all the tension you were carrying. Roman’s hand was on your arm, but he left your side half a minute later to take the phone away from Shiv, who seized up with incoherent noises through blurred tears. He hugged her, but she didn’t return it, frozen on the spot.

The siblings all asked him more questions. 

“Is he okay at all?” Kendall asked.

“He’s not okay, no,” replied Tom. “He’s not.”

Shiv sucked in a shaky breath. “Is he gone? Tom?”

A brief pause.

“They say his heart stopped and his breathing stopped, too. For a while, maybe.”

“Okay, but that doesn’t mean he’s dead, medically!” Roman asserted. “Right?”

You didn’t have the heart to tell him that it did mean exactly that.

“I don’t know,” came Tom’s calm voice. “They’re still doing chest compressions.”

Kendall began to order Tom around, then Frank, then Jess. Something about getting the best doctor in the world. The best airplane medicine expert, whatever that meant. He disappeared out of the room to go up to the deck. You took a seat on the couch and sank your face into your palms.

When Kendall returned, his face was solemn and set in stone. “Frank thinks he’s gone,” he said.

Roman sank down on the ground, right by your feet. Shiv took a seat next to you.

“Why didn’t you come and get me?” Shiv sniffled, looking up at her big brother. 

“I—Shiv, I did. We did,” Kendall said.

“No, but I was right out there. How long was it happening before?”

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I’m—I wasn’t thinking—” Kendall shook his head.

Roman drew in a sharp breath. “There was no time. I promise you, there was no time at all.”

Kendall took his little sister’s hand and repeated his apologies. The sight made more tears spill over your cheeks.

“I’m sorry, guys,” you hoarsely said. “He’s not even my dad.”

“No, it’s…” Roman patted your knee. “He was. He is. Kind of.”

“It’s just—on the phone Tom said that Kerry spoke to him. Quite a bit,” Shiv said, voice bitter.

“I don’t know,” said Kendall. “I don’t—we don’t know if he could hear us.”

Another sniffle. Shiv nodded a bit. “Yeah. I’m just sad, I guess.”

Roman shifted uncomfortably, looking up at his siblings and you with large, worried eyes. “Uh—do we know if he was on his phone at all? Like, if he checked his messages or anything?”

Faintly, you recalled Roman leaving a voice message for him. Right. Roman had called his father a cunt. And you’d said you were proud of him for it. Nausea pressed fervently against the inside of your stomach. Roman drew in a sharp, stressful breath.

“Rome, it’s okay,” Kendall assured him. “We’re okay. You did good.”

The words didn’t sit with you well. You did good—as if it were one last performance before the curtains closed. The circus monkey and the ringleader. 

“Yeah, I know,” he quickly replied. Roman’s expression crumpled. “I don’t know if—I just don’t know. Like, if I said… I just feel like I didn’t—did I even say I loved him?”

Kendall nodded. “I think so, yeah.”

“I’m pretty sure I didn’t,” Roman asserted. The grip he had on your knee tightened. “Do you know?”

“Ro, hon, I’m—” The words lodged in your throat as you reached out to brush your knuckles over his cheekbone. “He knows.”

“No, but I really don’t think I did—” Roman jerked away to lean closer to the phone Tom was calling through. “Tom, could you put me back to his ear for—ergh, fuck it. Never mind. I don’t know. Maybe just keep the line open.”

If Tom replied, you didn’t hear.

Instead, you glanced out the doorway, where you saw Connor speaking to some other wedding guests. He didn’t know.

“Oh, fuck. We need to get Connor. We need to tell him,” Roman said, following your gaze. “Can you do it, Ken? I don’t think I can. I mean, I could, I definitely could, I just—”

Kendall nodded solemnly, and stood up. Shiv offered to go with him, rising to her feet and drawing in a deep breath in a fruitless attempt to maintain her long-gone composure. 

“Thank you,” Roman said from the ground. He crossed his legs and leaned against the side of your shins. In turn, you placed your hands on his shoulders and squeezed reassuringly.

“I don’t remember the last thing I said to him,” you mumbled, voice filled with irritating tremors and warbles. “In that karaoke room. I don’t remember any of it, and I wasn’t even drunk or anything, I just—”

Roman pressed his cheek against your thigh, shutting his eyes. “I think you were okay. I don’t know. Maybe he heard us. And you have such a nice voice, y’know? Maybe it was good for him. If he heard it.”

The two of you sat in stuffy silence for a few minutes more. 

The three other siblings came to fetch the two of you sooner than you would’ve liked—whisking all of you upstairs to a more secluded room. Connor had tears in his eyes when all of you filed in, face wrought with anguish. “What happened?” he asked, sounding utterly devastated.

Roman apologized over and over again, but made no attempts to explain to him. Instead, he reached forward to grab at his oldest brother’s arm in a strange sort of semi-hug as Kendall filled Connor in on what happened.

“Well, actually, we don’t really know that he’s gone,” Roman asserted to the rest of you, drawing away from them. 

Both Kendall and Shiv began to clamor over the likelihood of Logan’s death. They seemed surprised that Roman was clinging onto such hope that he was alive. You watched Roman with such sad eyes that when he looked at you, he found himself growing even more upset.

“What?” he asked you crossly, brows drawing together. “Why are you looking at me like that? He—he could still fucking be alive! We don’t know! Are you going to trust, what, like, fucking Frank and Karl’s word on it? Don’t look at me like I’m crazy!”

“Right, well, you sound delusional, Rome,” Shiv tried telling him. You could tell she was trying to lay it easy on him and be nice, but it didn’t quite sound that way.

The siblings argued some more. Roman kept denying that Logan was dead, while Shiv gritted out that he’s gone. 

“All I’m saying is that we don’t know for sure. And—and until we do know, it’s just not a very nice thing to say, is it? So just fucking stop!” Roman yelled the last word out, and it ricocheted across the room like a bullet would. 

They all fell silent for a moment.

“Okay,” Shiv said. She looked to be on the verge of crying again. With quiet, reassuring words, Connor wrapped an arm around his little sister and let her lean against him.

“Roman,” you said, making his eyes snap to you. They were red and looked so tired. You were sure yours looked just the same. When you spread your arms as a non-verbal invite, he surged forward and buried himself into your embrace. The two of you held onto each other as if you were both lifeboats for one another in this vast sea of fucking nothing.

Kendall, disillusioned, went back to staring out the window.

“He didn’t want us together,” Roman choked out, forehead drooped onto your sternum. “He fucking—he told me to end it, and I didn’t listen, and I just never listened to him…”

Both your hands rubbed up and down his back. “I know. I know, Rome. I love you even if he didn’t want me to.”

Your words made Roman’s shoulders curl closer to his chest. Closer to you. “Fuck. Me, too, okay? Me, too.”

Half an hour later, the boat began moving away from the dock, much to all of your chagrin. 

Hugo had also come into the room, acting as a liaison. He told the lot of you that the plane-folk were starting to draft a statement to release to the news. The siblings angrily called them to ask what was going on—which did little to sway them.

Not too long after, Gerri came in to offer her condolences. Her presence made Roman all the more turbulent, and he lashed out at her, telling her to fuck off. 

Shiv asked her godmother if maybe they could stay up in the air a bit longer to give everyone some more time to think—and Roman told her to fuck off, too. At that point, you stepped in to say that it’s probably best not to delay the inevitable. Thankfully, Roman didn’t tell you to fuck off at that.

“Just to say,” Kendall said once both Hugo and Gerri hurried off to answer calls and get more information, “every single thing we say and do today… it’s all going in the memoirs, going in the fucking congressional record, it’s coming up at board meetings, it’s going in SEC filings.”

“God, Kendall,” you said, pinching the space between your brows. “Your grief is not a fucking spectacle, okay? It’s not—none of this is meant to be a performance. You can… you can be a fucking human being for once, okay?”

“No, but, listen, I’m agreeing with you,” he said, holding out a hand. “If we tell them to circle the plane around to buy us time, then some fucking rumors start up, and we get crucified for being cold-hearted, or—I don’t even know. We’re highly liable to misinterpretation right now. What we do today will always be what we did the day our father died. So I’m agreeing with you, Y/N. We shouldn’t delay the inevitable.”

Nose flaring, Shiv shook her head in a frustrated manner.

“So, you know, let’s grieve and whatever,” Kendall continued on, “but not do anything that restricts our future freedom of movement.”

“Okay,” you whispered, nodding in agreement. “Okay, Kendall. We’ll be careful.”

The siblings stepped out to discuss drafting statements themself, and you told them you’d arrange transport off the boat to the airport, where they’d be landing. 

Before you reconvened with them, however, you dropped by to see Connor one last time.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered with a frown that felt strangely childish, enveloping him in a hug. “I’m sorry your dad died, and I’m sorry I won’t be here to see you get married. Everything’s gone to shit and I hate that I can’t do anything about it.”

“It’s okay,” Connor said, rubbing your back comfortingly, not unsimilar to what you did with Roman. “It’s okay, kiddo. I appreciate you coming here to tell me.”

You pulled away, using the back of your palm to brush away your tears. “I got you, uhm—as a wedding present, I got you an oil painting kit. It’s not much, but I thought it’d be fun to try it out with you one day. I guess I just didn’t think—I thought I’d be able to give it to you after the ceremony, but… I don’t think I’ll be around. I’m sorry.”

Connor nodded, and smiled at you sadly. “It’s like you haven’t changed at all in twenty years, you know that? I feel so fuckin’ old.”

“Have a happy wedding, Con,” you told him. With that, you turned on your heel and headed off, breathing out a sigh of relief upon seeing a smaller boat right by the one you were on, ready to take you back to land.

One boat ride, one helicopter flight, and one private car later, you arrived at Teterboro Airport, where their plane touched down. Logan was announced dead at arrival. Roman balked and nearly puked up what little he’d eaten on the boat—you rubbed his back and told him everything was okay as he dry-retched nothing in the airport bathroom. There were already dozens of news reporters and journalists flooding the entrance-way for the impromptu press conference the Roy siblings were holding.

Before the sun was down, the news was spilled at the hands of Shiv. It was short and concise, over in no more than a minute. Questions, questions, and more questions—none of which were answered.

“Are we going to go see him?” Roman asked once it was all over. The plane was in view.

“Do we have to?” Kendall replied.

“I mean, he’s not going to be angry if we don’t,” Shiv replied. The rest of you smiled in silence.

Then, Kendall opened his arms, and the four of you leaned into a brief group hug. You kissed Shiv’s cheek and told her to get home safe. She nodded and took her leave. 

Roman jutted his head in the direction of the plane. “I’m gonna go see him. You coming, Kendall?” 

The oldest scuffed his shoe into the concrete pathway. “I’m gonna—I’ll watch him come down from here.”

“Okay,” said Roman. There was no surprise in his tone, but it lacked any sort of harsh judgment. 

“I’ll come with you,” you told Roman, taking his hand. “If you’re going to go see him, I’ll come with you.”

“Didn’t expect anything less,” he replied, eyes soft and sad. 

With a nod of goodbye at Kendall, the two of you left him to stand by the airport exit. 

“Do you think he would’ve been okay with us being together eventually, though?” Roman asked after a while, growing increasingly nervous as you neared the plane. Even now that his father was dead, he was still grasping for his approval.

There was a moment of contemplative silence. You wondered if you truly knew the answer to that, or if you were simply feeding into the kind-hearted caricature of a man Logan often didn’t live up to. 

“I think so,” you replied. Roman squeezed your hand. “I think he would’ve been proud of us for sticking together, even if he didn’t want us to at first. He would’ve respected you for it, eventually, because you didn’t take his shit.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.” You beckoned to the stairs leading up into the plane’s cabin. “You ready?”

“No.” Roman’s jaw squared. “I’m scared, I think. But I have to go see him. You don’t have to come, you know. You don't have to be so fucking good all the time. You can just leave if you want to.”

With a contemplative hum, you nodded once after barely giving his words any thought. “I know I don’t have to be here. I know it all, Rome. But I’ll come with you anyway. Anywhere you go.”

Roman raised your conjoined hands, kissed your knuckles in an appreciative manner, and led the way inside.

[teyamsgrl]

Hi Jade! Do you think you'd be up to do Neteyam fic where he and the reader are sweet on each other but because she's younger than him and friends with Lo'ak he doesn't wanna go that route with her so he distances himself from her and he starts vetting available girls in the clan as a distraction and this makes the reader decide to put her needs first and she starts thinking about future mates since Neteyam isn’t seemingly worried about her. But then a rumor starts that either Lo'ak and reader are to be mates or someone else is courting her and this pushes Neteyam to stake his claim and make her his.

❗️MDNI ❗️

hi!!!! oh my goddddd this idea is amazing, everyone say THANK YOU ANON 🗣️ jealous and in love neteyam woowowowowo i'm dead already - also this gif is so fucking crisp and clear holy fuck he is so fine respectfully

p.s: sorry it took me forever to get this completed! had some writer's block along with uni starting again 🥲

just a distraction ✧ neteyam

°˖➴ warnings: fem omatikaya reader, agedup!neteyam, dom!neteyam, jealous!teyam, younger!reader, sub!reader, friends to lovers, slow burn??, dirty talk, oral f & m receiving, missionary 😮‍💨 - paskalin: honey

despite being lo'ak's age and his best friend, you and neteyam got along extremely well. this 'getting along' also included a lot of unsaid feelings and the romantic tension between you both was unbelievably visible yet neither of you ever said a word. your actions showed enough though; the extra long hugs, the touches as you pass each other, the undivided attention as you teach each other new skills, the looks you share throughout the day. you were so obviously in love with neteyam and you figured he maybe felt the same; that is until he started to avoid you a week ago. it hurt. it hurt so bad.

what made it even worse was that he was going around the village and chatting up all the girls, showing off and being touchy. it made your blood boil as you watched him because that should be you. as you watch him speak to kai'ra, a very skilled hunter, you start to snap out of it. clearly neteyam doesn't want you so why are you sitting here pining over him? what's the fucking point? sure, it sucked to accept that you would never be with neteyam like you had anticipated for a long time but there was no point in sulking about it. there were many other desirable men in the clan and you figured that you'd find the right one eventually.

"i heard that y/n is being courted, is that true, lo'ak?" neytiri questions as the sully family sits together in their hut eating an evening meal. neteyam almost chokes on the food in his mouth, eyes wide and jealousy rising in his chest. "yeah, by ät’uk and i think someone else too" lo'ak responds to his mother nonchalantly before continuing to eat. there are other men attempting to court y/n? what had he done? neteyam couldn't deny his feelings for you, they were almost overwhelming. it was hard for him to put distance between you both, but he felt that it was right due to the fact that you are younger and best friends with his little brother. this was clearly a mistake. the pit in his stomach was haunting, just knowing there were other men chasing after you had him anxious and on top of that, angry. neteyam set his bowl down and stood up abruptly, telling his family that he just needed some air and to walk by himself. he rushed out of the hut, turning left to head to where he knew you'd be; tree of voices.

you went to the tree of voices every night before eclipse to visit your late father, the visits always bringing you peace. just as you detach your queue from the tree, you hear someone approaching. you rarely saw others approach the tree of voices at this time of night, so you got a bit startled naturally. "it's just me", you hear that familiar voice you love so much. your heart swelled as he came into the light expelled by the tree, you had missed him despite his actions. "neteyam.." you say, nervously shifting to stand up and face him. "is ät’uk courting you?" he asks matter of factly, a glow of jealousy in his amber eyes. "uh... he has been trying, yes, so has tar'ete" you answer him, observing the way his nose scrunches at your words. "well, that's not gonna happen" he takes a step closer to you, now chest to chest. "and you get to decide that for me? that's funny, especially since you've been avoiding me" your tone is harsh, but it was true, what right did he have to state his opinion when he left you in the dust?

"look- i just thought that since you're younger and lo'ak's best friend it would be better to not initiate something with you, but" his hands move to grab your hips, butterflies fluttering in your stomach. "it was a mistake. i talked to all these other girls and i felt nothing, then i heard you were being courted and i just- you're mine and i won't let anyone else have you" he breathes out, pressing his forehead to yours and allowing his lips to ghost over yours. "i've always been yours, neteyam. it killed me to watch you with all those other girls.." you whisper softly, your own hands gripping his shoulders as though he could slip away any second. "i know, it was just a distraction. i'm sorry, paskalin.." the pet name effortlessly falls from his lips, said lips slowly inching closer to yours. you nod slightly, breath tickling his lips. before you can act first he presses his lips to yours, moving in sync with yours as though you had done this a million times before.

you hum into the kiss, hands running to weave into his braids as his tongue slips into your mouth, gliding along your own tongue. his hands on your hips pull them against his, bulge pressing against you and bringing more wetness between your legs. "neteyam" you whine out softly, grinding into his bulge and pulling out a moan from him. "y/n..." he sighs as he watches you sink to your knees, hands untying his loincloth from his tail that is swishing around in excitement. your eyes widen slightly as his cock bounces out of the confines of his loincloth, hard and leaking already. you lick the tip softly, his head falling back from the sensation. "wanna be yours..." you murmur, kissing along his shaft. "you are, i promise" he moans out as your mouth engulfs his tip, sucking and gradually taking in his entire length.

you start bobbing your head up and down, gagging slightly as his tip hits the back of your throat. "that's it, fuck..." neteyam's hands hold your head as he thrusts gently into your mouth, your mouth his to use. he moans as he continues, the whining and choking sounds turning him on even further. he pulls you off of him and you gasp for air, hand wrapping around his length to stroke him. "no- it's your turn, paskalin" he holds out his hands for you and you grab them, standing up and facing him once again. he is now the one to drop to his knees, hands swiftly removing your loincloth in seconds. he grabs your left leg, hoisting it over his shoulder so your glistening hole is on display. his arms keep you steady on one leg while he leans in, tip of his tongue gently flicking over your clit. you shudder at the touch and whine out his name softly, bringing a smirk to his lips. he leans in again and brings your clit into his mouth, suckling on it like there's no tomorrow.

neteyam moves downwards, tongue plunging into your hole and lapping at your wetness while he leaves marks on your thighs from how tight his grip is. "teyam-" you whine, hands holding his head not only for stability but out of pure pleasure. he hums against you, vibrations shooting through your body as his mouth continues it's assault on you. his one hand moves back to grab the plush of your ass, lightly spanking as he shoves his face further into you. "feels good" you squeak out, hips bucking into his mouth frantically. "yeah? wanna cum on my cock babygirl?" he mumbles between licks to your clit. "please yes" you gasp and lock eyes with him, allowing him to lie you flat on your back.

neteyam crawls over top of you, one hand beside your head as the other lines his cock up with your entrance. the pressure of his tip at your hole has you mewling already, hands reaching for his biceps as he begins to push in. the stretch is intense yet the most pleasurable thing you had ever felt, your back arching in an instant. his breath is shaky as he bottoms out, pulling away slightly to ram right back into you. he leans to press his forehead on yours as he settles on a rhythm, breath grazing your lips as your rock back and forth together. "shit-" he groans as your walls squeeze him on each thrust, his fingers pressing into the dirt below you. "oh eywa..." you whine, nails dragging down neteyam's toned back.

"so good.... you're mine, aren't you?" he hums, hips jerking continuously and causing squelching sounds to fill your ears. "yours, all yours" you moan, nails digging into his back further as your orgasm begins it's fast approach. "that's right- fuck, i'm close.. where do you-" "inside, please" you beg, legs tugging him in by the waist as you begin to quiver. "okay- oh babyyy.." he groans as he pumps you full, your own orgasm releasing simultaneously. both of your breathing is heavy as you come down, bodies pressed together.

"you're amazing" he whispers, hand stroking your cheek as he lies beside you now. "so are you" you whisper back, placing your much smaller hand on top of his, staring into his amber eyes. "be my mate?" he asks, other hand resting on your stomach. "yes, of course yes" you smile, throwing your arms around his neck and pulling him close. he chuckles and wraps his arms around you as well, his strong arms keeping you as close as possible. "all we need is tsaheylu" he mumbles, smirk plastered on his face. "are you saying you want a round two?" you giggle, kissing along his jaw. "maybe..."

[ddoxhan]

all I wanna do

like a rain shower in midsummer, I need you cuz all I wanna do is be with you

word count : 5.3k words

genre : fluff revolving around two goofballs; scriptwriter! ningning x office worker! reader; experiencing a disastrous date won't stop you from planning the best date for the love of your life

t/w : none :)

a/n : a light-hearted, playful date with ms ning yizhuo! imagine her laughters throughout the entire thing and just seeing how happy she is being with you 🤍 I love this baby so much :') anyways enjoy !!

outfit? check. water bottles? check. portable fan? check. power bank? check. umbrella? check. snacks for your pretty girlfriend? check. after that disastrous date with yizhuo last time, you were traumatized hence the over-the-board preparation for today's date with her. you had planned a lot of events for the day, hoping that she would be surprised with how you made sure things were to go according to plan. her reactions are just the cutest and no one can tell you otherwise.

regardless of whether it was going to rain, or if you lose her in a crowd as her phone dies, or if she gets incredibly hungry that she's in the mood to murder you. yes, that was how the entire date went the last time when you two headed for a mini concert in the outskirts. just thinking about it again sent chills down your spine. never again, you thought.

as you take a step out of your apartment, that annoying ringtone informed you of who the caller was.

"yeah, babe?"

'on the way? or you just woke up and getting ready to throw on just anything?'

"missy, I'm slaying my fit of the year. and yes, I'm on my way. maybe in another thirty minutes?"

'okay, missy. sounds good to me, see you then babe!'

"love you."

'love you too!'

her voice got softer, as usual walking away from her phone to do her own things. she usually lets you end the call, either you'd end it while chuckling at her antics or listening a little longer to hear her humming a song that's on her 36th spotify playlist.

the sun was shining, the clouds were fluffy, and the bus just passed by the stop before heading for yours. was it more than enough time for you to make it? sure, but, that was if you ran for it. you were definitely not waiting for the next one that was going to be in the next 15 minutes.

the run wasn't too bad, giving you a chance to try out your new pair of sneakers. definitely not made for running, but they were sure looking amazing with your outfit. yizhuo had gotten them for you when you had finished that torturing physics paper one semester ago but you couldn't get yourself to wear them. she insisted that you wore it after she saw them in a new display box you got for it when she slept over after spending hours playing animal crossing with you.

'jagi, didn't I get those for you?'

'yep.'

'wear them when we go on a date next week.'

'but-'

'no buts.'

so that was how you were striding in these slides. they made you a little taller, which was the perfect height to pull yizhuo into a hug and rub your head on her hair. she hated those the most, but you love the scent of her vanilla shampoo, calming and soothing. as you stared out the bus window from your seat, your lips naturally curled into a smile as you reminisced those times when you and her took the bus home during your uni days.

when you had shared social law with her, you always took the bus with her after classes at the end of the day. you had known that she lived a little further from campus instead of the dorms and you happened to also take the same bus line as she did. acquaintances bloomed into friends, and you took your friendship with her to the next stage when you confessed that you saw her as more than a friend. you were the happiest girl alive when she said that she felt the same too.

when you had graduated with your psychology degree and her with her communication degree, that was when you found out that yizhuo had not lived three bus stops away from yours. and that was also when she had found out that you lived two bus stops before where she supposedly lived. in summary, you were two idiots thinking that you guys were so smart for trying to fool each other.

she did indeed live in the campus dorm, but just got down the stop where her friend lived at, in a way using her as an excuse to spend more time with you. you on the other hand, did similarly to spend more time with her by pretending that you got off at the next stop after hers. for four months straight, you had took a whole trip around the neighbourhood each time you had social law.

till this day, this was still something that you and her would bring up and laugh about at how stupid you two were. but you didn't complain, you were stupid in love with her.

a ring on yizhuo's doorbell was enough to make her frown from finishing her favourite shampoo to smiling as it indicated that her huggable human was by the door. when she swung the door open, she was surprised to find you with a bouquet of crocheted pink tulips and a puffy tote bag. first, you hated tote bags because you were afraid of forgetting them on your seat. second, what occasion was it for the flowers?

"hello, girlfriend."

"hello to you too. what's with the flowers?"

a toothy grin was all it took to convince that it wasn't a special occasion that she knew, but rather one that you wanted to celebrate because, you just wanted to.

"it's 520 days since we've started dating. so yeah, happy 520!"

"and here I thought that I had forgotten our anniversary or something."

"well, it's still something to celebrate about."

if yizhuo had her clumsy and quirky antics, you had your puppy-like and unpredictable antics. it wasn't once or twice that you had showed up to her front door with tulips or roses, be it real or fake, or crocheted. or that one time you had a spur in the moment and made her beef wellington for lunch. you didn't even like cooking that much.

'I saw this recipe and I thought you would like it a lot!' as she quotes from you.

but none of that can stop her from loving you more as each day went by. the good morning and good night texts were a must and meeting up at least once every day was the base, whether it be face-to-face or through facetime. as much as she could feel her fatigue from her day fade away when she saw that smile of yours, so did you when you heard that laughter of hers when you crack a joke.

"thank you, babe. I like it a lot."

she tiptoed to press a little peck on your cheek, which led to that big ass grin on your face and your tail would have wagged hard like a helicopter, if you had one. seeing your usual reaction, yizhuo went back to her room to proceed getting ready for the day. oh, did you mention that she looks amazing even when she had her hair up in a messy bun, and the most worn out, comfortable home clothes? yeah, now you know.

as you took your spot on the couch, it didn't take her longer than 20 minutes to be in the cutest outfit for your anticipated outing. the opening of her bedroom door prompted you to stand by the shoe rack and put your shoes on.

"ready?"

"mhm."

after you leaving her place, she naturally headed over to the bus stop while you stepped further from it, making her confused at the way you had a mischievous smile on your face. you walked over to her and dragged her along to the nearest car rental shop, rendering her further confusion.

leaving her at the entrance for a bit, you returned while twirling a shiny key with a far too recognizable logo printed on it,

"I knew we were going to the aquarium, but you didn't mention anything about driving there. when did you even have a driver's license?"

"well, surprise."

driving wasn't a practical option since you lived four bus stops away from your now alma mater. public transportation was a pain in the ass during before and after work peak hours but that was more worth than paying for the parking fee. that included having not told yizhuo about your driving capabilities.

your campus was practically in the middle of the city where most necessities were within public transportation reach. it didn't really matter if you had a car or not cause that was how convenient travelling for stuff was. if there was a need for a car, you would just ask minjeong for hers since she drives. even now, you could get to your job without a car, and you only head to office 3 days a week.

"and you rented a BMW?"

"yes?"

the look on her face darkened further as she couldn't comprehend your spending tendencies. you weren't a thrifty douchebag, so this was really a firsthand experience of you being willing to spend so much when there were cheaper options.

"please tell me you're joking. this could easily cost you half of your monthly salary for a day."

"okay okay, yes, I'm joking."

"thank god."

" but I did buy a kawasaki though."

yizhuo's jaw could not drop further as you said those seven words. she couldn't even form words, let alone sentences.

"wha- huh- you- eh?"

"come on, I got a second hand one so it's a lot cheaper. and it was a snatch with its low mileage."

the whole ride to the aquarium was just her bombarding you with questions on why you decided to get a motorcycle, when did you get your driver's license and a whole lot more. the entire ride there. though you weren't annoyed, you found it adorable that she wanted to know more. you being down bad was an understatement, you were just so in love with her that you don't see any chance of you getting back from being down bad.

you sure didn't need a second hand kawasaki to get to work considering the many reasons that would have stopped you from getting it. but there was one extremely big reason to get it that surpass every other. it was yizhuo. at the end of every day where you would drop by her place to spend time together, she would tell you about the things she encountered on the way home on the train, be it good or bad.

you were content with listening to how she would coo at the children and babies she saw, but grimaced at some things she would witness that you don't even want to reiterate. just then you thought, maybe you should get a vehicle to fetch yizhuo after work. as a scriptwriter, the expectation to get things done by her deadlines were brutal, from your nine-to-five job perspective. at times, she would finish past dinner hours and leave the broadcasting station with slumping shoulders while you waited for her at a nearby cafe to have dinner together after she clocks out. it always made a part of your heart ache a little when she drapes her body over you, with her basking in your scent.

she had always reassured you that she would feel her energy pick up when she spots you at your usual spot waiting. and even more so when she hugs you, as if you were her human energizer. but to imagine the days that you wouldn't be there, it was the right decision to get a vehicle for her to relax in after work on the way home. regardless of whether it was this nice BMW or the kawasaki you got, you get to accompany her back home while she talks about her day at the broadcasting station.

to head home together after a long day and lay in her arms on the couch while watching a movie was always your dream. usually her housemates would be around and it wasn't that comfortable to have the whole living room to yourselves. you would either leave after dropping her off or you would spend some time in her room for a while since she would reason that you have work the next day. one day, you would get a house together with her and make that dream a reality. one day.

"for me? this nice ass bike because you wanted me to get home safe?"

"yep."

she looked at you in disbelief, worried that the cost of this damn bike would put a hole in your wallet while you had a sheepish smile knowing exactly what she had in mind.

"I know it sounds crazy but trust me, I've planned this for a long time."

"how long?"

"roughly 5 years."

as yizhuo mentally counted, she figured that that was when you were still freshmen back in university. although she was flattered by the fact that you fell for her since then, she couldn't help but feel bad. and you knew she would from the way her smile fell a little, just enough for you to be able to tell.

"don't feel bad babe. I did say it's for you, but it's also for me, for us. it's a lot better than having to squeeze into the train and having body odour rubbed all over my face."

the joke managed to lift her mood as she giggles at the way she could relate too. well, you could say that this kawasaki was a dream motorcycle that you've had your eye on for some time now too. her hand reached over to yours on the gear stick, her eyes looking into yours, feeling that she was the luckiest girlfriend on earth.

"you're welcome, and let's go see those penguins, shall we?"

"welcome to underwater haven, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls! I will be your guide today, so make sure to remember how I look like. you wouldn't wanna get lost and bump into the polar bear."

the crowd laughed at the humor of the male guide, before following to enter into the aquarium for the day.

in one hand, was your professional camera to capture the beauty of the animals (as well as your girlfriend), and yizhuo's hand intertwined with yours in the other. although she was more fond of furry animals in the petting zoos, she absolutely loved the way your eyes would sparkle when you tell her about your favourite aquatic animals that even she had managed to remember by now. you looked like an excited child jumping around and she just wants to give you all the kisses that you deserved for being so cute.

"oh! that's the angelfish. isn't it such a nice shade of pastel blue? and the way they just look so pretty."

"yes yes, very pretty."

and her gaze was just fixated on your smile that hasn't fell ever since you stepped foot in here. she couldn't give a damn about all these fishes that looked the same to her. all it did was make her crave for some good sushi, but she shall not talk about that while you're here. maybe in the next few days, she should bring it up. for now, she would enjoy this aquarium date.

"did you have fun?"

"mhm. did you? weren't you bored a little halfway?"

"I mean yeah but when I look over to you, wow best day ever."

you shot yizhuo a glare before relaxing when you knew that she had eyes only for you.

"I love you too."

that sheepish smile on her face made you chuckle at the way you found it cute, realization for the nth time that you would never be able to win against her. be it her random rendezvous at odd hours or cheeky remarks like this.

"so where would lunch be, ms. 'I have a BMW now so we can go anywhere we want'?"

she's just not gonna let you breathe huh?

"well, it is a thursday today. so you know what that means."

"the bazaar!"

the first time she found out about the bazaar, she had always gone there either alone since her friend had clashing schedules or would resort to the cafeteria food which she disliked a little. after knowing you through social law, she deciced to persuade you to accompany her there.

'you mean be your chaperone?'

'I wouldn't put it that way, think of it that you're there as my food mate.'

it was a weekly food bazaar that happened at the city square, filled with all kinds of food from all around the world. yizhuo was always down to try anything that was edible, while you were just there to be with her as you didn't fancy trying new things.

'come on! try this, the vendor said it's glutinous rice cooked in a bamboo tube.'

'it looks questionable.'

but to be honest, it did taste good. while she had a habit of ordering a variety to try, she wouldn't hesitate to share it with her friends, encouraging them to head to the bazaar to try out too. when you looked back and thought about it, she was also helping out the local businesses that had a hard time. she tried to deny, giving you the reason that they had better food that whatever the cafeteria served. however, you would notice each time you stood by her while she talked to the vendors. the way her eyes fold into crescents, truly grateful that they were doing great.

as you spent more time with her throughout your days, you harbored feelings for her and they just grew out of control when you would malfunction from being around her. you were there once as an acquaintance, now you were back there again, as her girlfriend. wow, thinking about it made you feel overwhelmed.

"are you sure we're able to finish this?"

"if we can't, we could bring it over for minjeong."

"I'm pretty sure she would be too full from lunch with jimin. you know how those two are."

"well, I guess this is all for us!"

just watching yizhuo enjoy the food in front of her made you feel as if you had ate. if your girlfriend was happily full, then so were you. at some point, the vendors didn't change often, and they soon became permanent at the bazaar, being able to find a crowd of customers for themselves. you didn't remember how it happened, but when yizhuo would always recommend it to the people around her, you knew who it was because of.

"what? is there anything on my face?"

your gentle gaze had her rub the sides of her mouth, then her cheeks. full of food while she mumbles, it was just a sight too adorable. you succeeded at holding back your urge to squeeze her cheeks, or you would end up with a flick on your forehead.

"nothing, you just look really pretty."

"thank you, but I can't tell if you're being sarcastic cause I am stuffing my face full of food right now."

"nothing beats a happy girlfriend who loves her food. and it's cute."

extending a hand over to clear that sauce stain on the corner of her mouth, you looked so lovesick, it almost made the people at the table on the right gag. what did single people do to be punished like this?

you would only cut it out with the lovey dovey eyes when yizhuo made sure that you were eating enough unlike when you were in your final year. that final year research paper had you lose 5kg throughout the journey and you wish to not experience that ever again. sleep was an option and so was food. if it wasn't for her threatening to have your meals properly or she would not see you again, you would have probably fainted at least twice that year.

so now, you have a wonderful girlfriend and a stomach full of good food. the day was going spectacularly smooth without any problems. but you spoke too soon when the sun had set and night had came.

after the bazaar lunch, you were to drive to a restaurant by the beach that yizhuo had really wanted to try but didn't insist on going as it was far. since you had rented a car, it was only right to bring her there. before night would fall, it would have been perfect to enjoy the sunset by the time you would have arrived considering the journey.

that was until the car started to smoke on the front all of a sudden. pulling over to the side of the road, you had to call for help from the nearest car repair shop to send a tow truck. you weren't going to risk driving there despite it being a short distance, not with her in the car.

as the tow truck arrived along with another car, you thanked the foreman for offering to drive you two to your destination when he couldn't get you a spare car. nevertheless, you managed to reach just in time to sit by the beach to admire the sunset with yizhuo. that was before it got windy and droplets of rain turned into a downpour.

"why is it always like this whenever we decide to go out for dates?"

she was feeling a little down from the mishaps from the car to the downpour. to be frank, you were too, since you had hoped that the date ended perfectly since she had looked forward to it a lot. although she didn't verbally express her excitement, you could tell from the way she had already put together an outfit for the day a week before and marked the date on her calendar with a big red circle and hearts around it.

"babe, things happen. plus it was my fault that I didn't check the car properly before today."

"it's not your fault, like you said things happen. just why on our dates..."

you were half soaked from the rain even with an umbrella. as you sought shelter at nearby shop, yizhuo wasn't soaked as much because you had wrapped yourself over her to make sure she didn't. that also made her a little more upset as she was scared you would get sick because of her. on the brighter side, you were at a vintage shop where they had quite a collection of film cameras. you had to take the opportunity to get one from here before you left. but first, back to making your girlfriend feel better.

"hey hey, babe. look at me."

you placed your hands on her cheeks and made her face you, squishing them a little. around her colleagues, she was competent and very professional when dealing with the producers and directors at her workplace. but when she comes home and relaxes around you, she would turn into a small little kitten that needed her favourite human pillow. just like how you had her pouting and leaning into your hands.

"things don't have to always go as planned. it's best if it did, but now that it didn't. we're here at this vintage shop and it looks like there's a lot of stuff to explore around here."

"sure we missed the sunset for a little, but we stumbled upon this place."

and with that, your girlfriend was back to her normal self.

"okay, but promise me you're not going to get too many things. nothing else is going to fit that glass case."

"yes, ma'am."

giving her a tiny salute and a cheeky smile, it was another mission success of making the best out of a (sorta) ruined date.

"I did mention not to get too many things, but you did get something that was very expensive."

"but it does take really good film pictures. plus, a good camera to fit the most beautiful model in the world."

yizhuo scoffed at the compliment but couldn't help but blush a little. thankfully, the downpour had come to a stop, only a small drizzle remained.

as you headed towards the restaurant that you had made reservation for, you couldn't help but feel super lucky at that moment as the sky was still lit and the ambience of the waves hitting the shore, as well as the drizzle adding its touch. along with the beautiful sight of her while her hair is blown by the wind, that gorgeous smile making you fall for her all over again.

arriving there, you were brought to your reserved table before ordering whatever she wanted on the menu. the wait wasn't too long, which was good as it was quite eventful before this meal. as you indulged in the local delicacies, you couldn't help asking yizhuo if she was in for some alcohol. and knowing her, she wouldn't pass on the offer.

you only drank a little as you would still need to drive back, as the foreman had mentioned that it wouldn't take till the next day to fix the car. just as you wrapped up your fulfilling meal, your phone rang, indicating the caller to be the foreman.

"yes, mr. lee. is the car done?"

"I'm very sorry miss, but I've called to inform you that we've come across another problem from the engine as we looked into it earlier. we would need another day for it as we are closing soon."

"ohh... umm... alright then. we'll look around for somewhere to stay for the time being. thank you very much."

hearing how you would need to look for somewhere to stay and seeing that apologetic smile plastered on your lips, yizhuo just knew that the plans for the day had changed for third time.

"we need to look for a motel?"

"hey! you don't need to put it that way."

the ends of your ears started burning a little as you hid your face in your hands, trying to lower the rising temperature of your cheeks. her word choice had caught you very off guard while she remained calm.

"it is what it is. plus, we could get separate rooms so why so shy?"

she was definitely having a great time teasing you.

you managed to find a decent place after asking the locals. but being there on the weekends only meant that there was no such things as vacancy. however, you still decided to shoot your shot, praying for two rooms.

"we've got only one room left, with a single bed."

and you definitely didn't expect that shot to miss entirely. it was better than no rooms at all, and it meant using the same room as yizhuo. you had to repeat that to yourself several times to fully register what you had heard. number 1, you had not slept over at her place before as you didn't want her housemates to feel uncomfortable with your unfamiliar presence. number 2, it would only be you and her in a room. nothing would probably happen, given that you would be sleeping on the couch.

"where are you going?"

"to sleep...?"

drying your hair with the provided towel, you glanced over to your girlfriend who already dried her hair and changed into a set of pajamas that you had got from a nearby shop. you were in a similar one with a different color, reminding you too much of what married couples would usually where in dramas. 'enough!', you thought.

as much as you wanted to wake the next morning in your arms, you held yourself back as it might make her uneasy. what if she's not used to sharing the bed with someone? what if she thinks it would be hot? what if you snore? what if―

before you could complete all the possible scenarios from overthinking, yizhuo stretched out her arms, telling you to hug her. and so you did. as you fell for her temptation, she pulled you in closer to make you fall onto the bed. as she leaned over to place her lips on yours, your brain short-circuited with too many things happening at once. pulling away, all she saw was a shocked puppy speechless and thoughtless.

"you good?"

"huh?"

"were you going to sleep on the couch?"

"yeah..."

it was as if you lost your ability to speak because all you could do was nod or give short answers to her questions. well, you were being considerate for your girlfriend in case she didn't want to share the bed with you and you were more than willing to let her have the bed for herself. after all, the bed wasn't the biggest and it was just fitting for two people, no more, no less. but she didn't mind at all.

"why when we could just sleep together?"

you hit her a few times for her choice of words and she just wondered what she said so wrong. 'sleep together', technically you were going to sleep together but not sleep together. there was a difference, but you were just being overly sensitive from the way that your body was in close proximity with yizhuo.

it wasn't like you didn't cuddle with her before in the living room while watching dramas and movies. it wasn't like you didn't hug her every single time you would leave by the end of the day. it wasn't like she wasn't already clingy and always finding an excuse to stick right next to you, be it be holding hands or just pulling you into a bear hug. but why was this time so different just because it was on a bed?

"you could take this as practice before we get married in the future."

right, that was why it made you so fidgety and anxious like a teenage girl who was in love with her first love. true enough, she was your first love, if you were to minus out the short fling back in high school that wasn't even a relationship nor situationship.

your relationship had not even turned 2 years old and yizhuo already had confidence in that you would marry her when the time comes. and she was darn right that you would. that day just sealed the deal where you definitely couldn't see yourself spending the rest of your life with someone else other than her.

the way she would enjoy your rants about sea animals that she couldn't care less, the way she reminds you about spending too much, the way she held your hand throughout the whole date.

although she wasn't interested in the many species of fishes that you knew, she didn't complain about it and just enjoyed how you were ecstatic about them. she would nag you a little about getting too many vintage cameras when you wouldn't even use some of them, but she knew that every single one you've bought had at least taken one picture of her. she knew that physical affection wasn't your way of expression where gift giving and words of affirmation was, she made sure that you felt hers.

just like this very moment, you could feel it through the way her gaze bores into your eyes, letting you know that she loved you as much as you did for her, if not more.

"okay, if you say so, wifey."

"oh? already agreeing to the proposal?"

"no way, I will be the one proposing to you in the best way possible when that day comes."

"but does that mean you want to marry me?"

yizhuo was glad to see how you snapped out of your trance with the playful banter between you and her. not only that, your string of thoughts had brought you to a conclusion that sounded like the best one to your life story.

"yes, ms. ning yizhuo. I would love to marry you."

"cause all I wanna do is be with you."

[blossomwritesthings]

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞

pairing: hyunjin x fem!reader (afab)

genre: dark academia college au. nonidol!hyunjin. enemies to lovers // academic rivals. angst. reader pov. smut - MDNI, 18+ only.

content & warnings: explicit & strong language. mild thematic elements. kindaa toxic relationship between hyunjin and reader since they're enemies in uni. ANGST!! reader comes from a poor background and hyunjin is the uni dean's prodigy son. smut warnings below cut!!

word count: 10.6k (enjoy you filthy animals 😈)

summary: ever since you started studying at korean national university of arts in seoul, hwang hyunjin, the other top student of the school and the dean's son, has been an absolute thorn in your ass. although, it turns out that not all thorns are necessarily bad.

18+ warnings: dom!hyunjin x sub!reader. unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it, friends). fingering. dirty thoughts/fantasies are mentioned. degradation (whore, slut, bitch, etc). pet names (baby girl, sweetheart, doll face, etc). LOTS of hair pulling. BIG ownership/possession kink. breeding kink!!!. overstimulation. orgasm control. nipple/breast play. lots of dirty talk. subspace. loud sex. manhandling. humiliation kink. exhibitionism (fucking in a public library).

a/n: first of all, i'd just like to give a BIG shoutout to my dear friend @ahactress, for giving me the initial prompt to this about a month ago haha- without your help, I wouldn't be here right now honey!! 🤭💙 also, i'm sending all my love to my beautiful bestie @h0p3l3ssromantic, for encouraging me with her pretty words and her endless love... girl, you RULE and ilysm!!! 😫❤️ I don't know if it's public knowledge around these parts, but my dms on all my sns platforms are ALWAYS open for ya'll to spew your ramblings about my work haha - hmu on twt babes, I'm always down to chat~ ✨

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ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʀᴇᴘᴏsᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ sɪᴛᴇs (ᴛʜɪs ɪɴᴄʟᴜᴅᴇs ᴛʀᴀɴsʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴs). do not copy, spin-off, or write inspired work based off of this fanfic without full permission to do so. ©ʙʟᴏssᴏᴍᴡʀɪᴛᴇsᴛʜɪɴɢs ⤐ ᴀʟʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛs ʀᴇsᴇʀᴠᴇᴅ

  The moment you saw the dark, heavy clouds swirling low in the sky as you walked to your Survey of Humanities class, you knew that the day was going to be a shitty one. Already, you had woken up with a raging headache from the all-nighter you had pulled the day before to finish all of your homework for the following week. 

 Besides, it was a Monday too, and you fucking hated Mondays. 

 For one thing, the start of the new week always meant being bombarded with loads of assignments from the four classes you were taking. Being a junior with a Liberal Arts major was not as easy as everyone thought it was — and you constantly felt like you could never catch up on all of the homework. 

 With two formal art classes, one on charcoal drawings and the other on watercolor techniques, and then two upperclassman Humanities classes, your schedule was packed with studying time. Sometimes, it was hard to even eat during the day, since you were so busy with your schoolwork. 

 But there was no way around it, no excuses that could be made. 

 You either continued to stay at the top of your classes, as one of the best students in your grade for your graduation year, or you didn’t. 

 Your mother didn’t sacrifice everything she had for you to fail so horribly at university. 

 So you were okay with the stress and deadlines. Because you wanted to make both her and yourself proud. 

 And yeah, maybe you also wanted to prove to your classmates that you could do it. 

 You especially wanted to brag about your success to a certain man… 

 Hwang Hyunjin. 

 He was slated to graduate in your same year and was studying Technical Art. And holy shit— was he an insufferable ass. Unfortunately, since the two of you shared such close majors, you had found yourself in one too many classes with him during your time at the Korean National University of Arts in Seoul. It also didn’t help that he was coined as one of the #1 students in the entire school, and did everything in his power to make everyone aware of this fact. 

 Especially you. 

 If he earned just two points more than you on an exam in the same class that you were taking together, he’d nonchalantly wave the white paper in front of you after the exam period, taunting you with his sly tongue and that cruel grin of his. 

 Most of the time, you managed to ignore his wicked teasing, sticking to yourself and your small group of study buddies. But on the rare occasion that he did get under your skin, you’d snap irrevocably and usually land yourself in the Dean’s office. 

 But of course, Hyunjin was also there because — news flash — he was the son of the fucking Dean of the university. 

 Usually, the meetings after your blowups were casual and spoken in soft voices, with Dean Hwang recounting the school’s long integrity policy to you, which you had already memorized in the back of your head after your third visit to his office. The entire time the Dean reminded you of how your ‘behavior was uncalled for in the situation,’ Hyunjin would be standing in the corner of his father’s office, arms folded across his chest and canting his head to the side as he studied you with a pleased little devilish sneer on his face. 

 After every single one of the meetings, he’d always try to catch up to you outside of his father’s office. This usually landed in you cursing him out under your breath and telling him to fuck off before you retreated into the shadows of one of the many hallways. 

 And as it just so happened, your Survey of Humanities class also had a certain raven-haired man constantly sitting in the farthest seat from the front of the lecture hall. 

 It was almost comical how good-looking he was, coupled with his genius brain. Because as much as you wanted to deny it, you couldn’t ignore the fact that he was incredibly smart… in both the arts and all other forms of academics. He aced every single quiz and exam he was given, got 100s on every technical art research essay he wrote, and was involved in practically every club there was on campus. 

 The girls of your grade fawned all over him, and even the freshmen were weak to his looks whenever he’d pass them in the hallway. He looked right out of an early 2000s fashion magazine, with his model-like physic, long, shaggy black hair that perfectly framed his face and curled at the nape of his neck, not to mention the expensive designer clothes he was always seen in. 

 You had never seen him dress like the other guys of his same age — had never seen him clad in a pair of baggy grey sweatpants and a worn oversized graphic tee. Instead, he rolled up to the curb of the university in his cherry red 2023 Rolls Royce, dressed to the nines in fitted coats, light-washed designer jeans, and crisp white button-downs. 

 Hwang Hyunjin had been the school’s ultimate heartthrob for as long as you could remember, and you had heard rumors of the kind of things he did with his lovers — taking his girlfriends out to expensive restaurants in the heart of the city, before bringing them back to his luxurious apartment and fucking them late into the night. Usually, you tended to ignore the dating and sex part of your arch nemeses' life, and instead just focused on beating him at his own game of academics. 

 And during that early Friday morning in the middle of October, as you strolled through the doors of the lecture hall and your eyes scanned over the students already seated, you caught sight of him.

 Dressed in a casual, brown turtleneck and dark-washed jeans, he looked like he had just walked straight out of an autumn edition of GQ Men. He was seated in his usual place, legs crossed and hands busy scribbling away notes on his iPad. As you floated beside him and towards your seat at the very back of the hall, you caught the scent of him — a mix of earthy musk and dark roasted coffee beans. 

 He didn’t pay you the time of day as you flitted past him and took out your notebooks once you were seated down. Thankfully, he seemed to be choosing the route of ignoring you for the day, much to your relief. 

 Soon, the professor strode into the lecture hall and began the class. For a while, he droned on about the midterm that all of the students had taken the week before, and how he was impressed with the class’ results. “Although, two students in particular outshined everyone else,” he began, his eyes scanning the lecture hall until they landed on Hyunjin seated just two rows before you. “Hyunjin, excellent work — it’s quite rare that I see a student score a 100 on the midterm,” then his focus was floating upward and landing on you. “Y/N, you’re short essay for the midterm was superb, and your choice of art analysis was a very unique one for sure.” 

 Just as the professor was focusing back on the rest of the course material, you could sense someone’s gaze trained on you. Staring forward, you caught a glimpse of him shooting you a snarky grin. You glared daggers into his skull, just wishing that he’d get shot in the foot and keel over in pain at that moment. 

 He always liked to gloat when he got a higher score than you on the tests, and you both knew that he had done better on the test overall — since the professor only mentioned his 100 and not yours. But apparently, your midterm essay was a hell of a lot better than his. 

 Sticking out your tongue at him playfully, you rolled your eyes before folding your arms across your chest and turning your attention back on the slides that the professor was ticking through. Hyunjin got under your skin so much he sometimes felt like a fucking disease — burrowed so deeply inside your veins, it was almost impossible to cut out the hatred. 

 “For this week’s assignment, you guys will be paired up into groups of two to create a joint presentation on the topic of ‘The Descent into Madness,’” As soon as you heard the professor mention splitting the class into groups, you felt your heart leap inside your chest. You only hoped that you wouldn’t be paired up with him. “Using your textbooks as a guideline, I want all of you to choose one specific piece of art from any period you want and conduct deep research into the mad aspects of it — dive into as much detail about the formal elements as you’d like, but make sure to follow the grading rubric and cite all academic sources. I’ve posted the list of paired groups on the bulletin board up here near the projector, so make sure to check it before you leave class today.” 

 You tuned out all other information the professor gave about the week’s assignment, too focused on seeing who you were paired with. As soon as he dismissed class, you were shooting up from your seat and hoisting your heavy tote bag across your shoulder. 

 Flitting down the stairway, you made it to the bulletin board before all of the other students did. They were idling around because no one gave two shits about who they were paired with. No one except for you. 

 “Please, please, please—” You prayed in a whispered tone under your breath as your eyes scanned the matched columns of students. When you came upon your name and saw who was next to it, it felt like the ground at your feet had opened right up and sucked you in entirely. “Fuck my life.” Heart dropping into the pit of your stomach, your palm squeezed a little tighter around the strap of your bag. 

 “Oh shit— looks like the professor decided to give you a fighting chance by pairing you up with the best student in the entire school.” You heard Hyunjin’s silky voice say from somewhere behind you. 

 Swinging around on your heels, you caught a glimpse of his sardonic, wide smirk, as his eyes scanned the look of sheer anger on your face. Giving a dry, humorless chuckle, he shoved his hands into his pockets and canted his head to the side in a quizzical kind of way. 

 “We’re only going to ace this project because of me— and let’s be clear here, I’m the better writer out of the two of us.” You said in a low voice, pointing an accusing finger at him in utter disgust. You could feel your brows pulling together from the rage that was building up inside of you. And all from the thought of being forced to work with him. 

 “Yeah, but I’m the better test taker.” 

 “Fuck you.” 

 Hyunjin chuckled wickedly, the tip of his blush pink tongue coming out and wetting a corner of his plush bottom lip. “Oh honey, I’m sure you wish you could.” 

 Already, you could tell that he was egging you on. Trying to get your goad so that you’d explode and be dragged to the Dean’s office. So that he could stare down at you with that same smug look on his face as his precious little daddy rattled off the university’s code of conduct. 

 Well fuck that bullshit. 

 Seeing too much red, you decided to excuse yourself from the equation before you said something horrible that got you sent into the Dean’s office again or even worse — kicked from the class. 

 “I’ll see you on Monday night at ten in the library,” you said in finality, squinting your eyes up at him and just wishing you could wring your hands around his perfect little neck. “Don’t be late.” 

 “I don’t take orders from you, sweetheart.” 

 “For now you sure fucking do.” 

 Then you were turning around and pushing out of the lecture hall, practically running down the corridor as fast as you could, heart pounding in your chest because… what the hell were you going to do? 

 That entire weekend leading up to the Monday night that you planned to spend with Hyunjin, you just about lost your mind over the worry of it all. Would he continue to be an asshole to you the entire time? Would he work well with you and compromise on things? How would everything go? 

 You were so stressed about the entire thing that you practically drove your roommate Felix insane with annoyance. Late Sunday morning, when you were making circles around your living room couch as you stressed about everything, he finally burst out in a loud outcry. 

  “Y/N! You seriously need to take a chill pill, you’re going to run holes right into the fucking carpet!” He said in an exasperated tone, muting the show that he was watching on the large flatscreen TV. 

 Peering up at him with wide, guilty eyes, you offered him a meek smile. “I’m sorry, Lix— it’s just… you know how much I hate Hyunjin and I—” 

 Felix rolled his eyes at you, completely fed up with your bullshit at that moment. “Yes, yes, I know. You’ve told me about a million times at this point. But like… don’t let it get to you, yeah? Just go out there and do your very best,” his eyes flitted back to the TV as he un-muted his show. “I mean… how bad could working with Hwang Hyunjin really be? Besides you, he’s one of the top students in the entire school.” 

 But he didn’t know Hyunjin like you did. 

 No one did. 

 They didn’t see the cruel side to him, the mean side. 

 They didn’t hear the words he’d mumble to you with venom after a big test or the taunting he’d throw your way if you one-upped him in some way. 

 Others didn’t see the dark looks he’d give you after classes or the way he’d practically talk behind your back each time you passed him in the hallway — whispering to his groupies and making all the guys chuckle heartily. 

 So yeah, working with him was a pretty fucking big deal. 

 Nonetheless, you took Felix’s advice and tried to relax as much as you could before the start of the new week. You studied the material that you wanted to research for the project, deciding to focus on Hamlet’s Ophelia for your analysis. 

 And if Hyunjin didn’t want to go with that character, well… too bad.

 By the time Monday night rolled around, you felt more prepared than ever before and stepped into the Library’s main doors with settled ease. The university’s library was your favorite place on campus and had been the location for many of your long night study sessions over your time in school. With its dark gothic architecture outside and its sweeping gables, it was a true sight to behold. Not to mention the cozy atmosphere of the interior — all of the cozy nooks and crannies of the place, filled with warm candlelight and large chandeliers and settees made everything feel so mysterious and relaxing. 

 You strode through the isles filled with books, noticing how it was almost empty of any other student. That’s why you liked coming to the place late at night because it was relatively devoid of life and incredibly quiet. And you liked the quiet — it made it easy for you to focus on your studies. Finally, you stumbled upon a spacious table tucked into the very corner of one part of the place on the upper floor, with a large bay window just in front of the wooden table. 

 With a glance outside the pane, you noticed how the darkening sky had opened up to reveal a sheet of heavy rain — it pelted down on the few students that were passing by the outside of the library on the sidewalk there, as they ran for cover. Methodically, you brought out your supplies — booting up your laptop and positioning your notebook and pens just so. 

 Checking your phone, the screen flashed that it was fifteen minutes past ten o’clock already. Was he not even planning on showing up? Was he going to completely bail on you and instead take you down by sabotaging the entire thing? 

As you sat down in one of the cushiony, velvet-lined chairs, your mind began to race with all of the possibilities of what Hyunjin might be stewing up to take you down. 

 Then, almost like your thoughts had summoned him, you heard footsteps at your back and turned to see Hyunjin rounding the corner of the tall bookshelves that were lined on either side of your chosen table. With one glance at him, you noticed the soaked-through fabric of his tan coat and the way his dark hair curled around the nape of his neck with moisture. He must’ve gotten caught in the rain and that’s why he was late. 

 “I thought you were going to bail on me entirely.” 

 Giving you a swarthy look, he plopped down into the seat just across from you and threw his heavy book bag atop the table. “Good evening to you as well.” He grumbled, slipping off his coat and showcasing the wetness hidden just underneath there. His light, cream-colored button-down was almost sheer from the rainwater… highlighting his muscular shoulder blades and the tips of his pecks. 

 “Didn’t you know it was supposed to rain heavily tonight?” 

 Not even paying you another glance, he focused on pulling out his supplies. “I’m not the fucking weatherman, I don’t regularly check up on shit like that.” 

 “Well, you should— maybe you wouldn’t ruin so many of your precious, rich boy clothes if you did.” 

 At that, his hands stopped moving and he stared up at you with slitted eyes. Giving your own choice of outfit a long once over, the corner of his mouth ticked up. “Well damn— are you jealous or something?” You weren’t particularly dressed up, opting for a comfortable pair of black sweatpants and a warm violet turtleneck top.

 “Let’s just focus on getting to work.” You shot back, hands typing away at your computer keyboard. “Did you figure out a piece you want to analyze?” 

 “Yeah, Hamlet’s Ophelia.” 

 His words were silky and smooth against your ears, but his answer is what got you shooting your gaze up to his again. Mouth dropping open a little bit in surprise, you cleared your throat from the sudden quietness between you. “Oh— uhm, I was thinking the same,” you began, opening up the Word document that you had already started working on that past weekend. “It would probably be a good idea to study Hamlet’s character too since he's the catalyst of her problems.” 

 “No, he isn’t. She already had them to begin with — he just heightened their outcome.” 

 You were so taken aback by his comment, that it took a few seconds for your brain to process everything. But when it finally clicked, you were gaping up at him in astonishment. “I’m sorry, what? You’re going to blame her for the fact that Hamlet was the sole cause of it all?” Your voice was steadily rising, as you began to get irritated by his suggestion. 

 Hyunjin shrugged nonchalantly, as he scribbled down a few things in his notebook. “I mean, yeah. She already had a history of mental disorders, her death was bound to happen anyway.” He matched your tone, words growing louder and ringing out across the small expanse of the library that the two of you were in. 

 “I seriously cannot believe you right now.” You began, shaking your head in anger as you tried to focus on your bright computer screen again. But his argument just rubbed you the wrong way entirely, and you found yourself speaking up again. “I didn’t realize how much of a fucking misogynist you were. But oh, wait— it’s perfectly clear now if the way you treat me is anything to go off of.”

 “I’m not a misogynist, Y/N.” The way his tone curled around the sound of your name did something funny to the depths of your soul. He had never called your name outright like that, never addressed you head-on. And it was both weird and oddly satisfying. “All I’m saying is that her descent into madness was pretty warranted since she was in an already heightened state of emotions.” 

 You gave him a deep glare, tilting your head to the side in annoyance. “Just say you hate women, it’s okay, Hyunjin. I won’t bug you about it.” 

 “Like hell, you won’t.” He mumbled under his breath, long fingers typing out something on his computer. 

 And that was enough to completely set you off. 

 There were no other students around, no professors to tell you off, and no Deans to harp on you about correct student conduct. 

 “Seriously, what the hell is your problem?! You’re so fucking annoying and a total piece of shit. I honestly have no idea how you’re at the top of the school when all you do is belittle others!” This time, you were shouting outright. Throwing him an ominous glare and shutting your computer with a resounding thud. 

 Hyunjin leaned back in his seat, lengthy arms folded across his chest as the rain pelted against the misty window just at his back. “Oh, and like you’re any better? You always love to shove your accomplishments in everyone else’s faces— you ever stop to think how that makes others feel?” He was yelling now too, stroking a hand through his long locks that were steadily dripping with tiny droplets of rainwater. 

 Shaking your head in disappointment, you took in a resounding deep breath. “I knew this was a bad idea. I knew you’d be an asshole the entire time and I knew we wouldn’t get any work done,” as you said the words, you were already gathering up your things, shoving them into your bag, and leveling him with a cold stare. “So let’s just forget it - this - okay? Just… work on it by yourself and then we can compile our info together the day of and—” 

 “Sit down, Y/N.” 

 The way his command slipped out from between his lips in a low, gravelly voice shook something loose deep within your very being. For a moment, you almost felt compelled to listen to him. Like under a mystical enchantment, your limbs wanted to move on their own accord and seat yourself down again. But the rational part of your brain overtook all other thoughts as you stood your ground and hovered just next to the table. 

 “You can’t tell me what to do. You’re not your daddy— you don’t have the authority of the Dean.” 

 For the last few moments, he hadn’t been looking at you, eyes instead trained on his computer still. Almost like, the entire ordeal didn’t bother him that much. Like you were a minor inconvenience to him in the grand scheme of his rich, privileged life. 

 But all at once, he was tipping his head towards the high rafters of the library’s ceiling, stare catching with yours. The stormy look you saw there, dancing around in his brown irises, forced your heart to leap in the pit of your throat. 

 “Don’t make me say it again.” 

 “I’m never going to listen to you, so tough luck, fucker.”

 Taking in a deep breath, his entire body shuddering with the motion, he held your gaze and motioned with a tilt of his head to the seat in front of him that you had just gotten up from. “Sit. Down.” 

 And like a single crack suddenly appearing in a delicate vase, your mind was losing all conscious thought and you were moving without any other thought. His seething, low tone overtook your entire system, his focus on you sending a shock of shivers up the length of your spine again and again, unrelenting. 

 “What?” You asked, noticing the surprised expression on his face from the way that you had fucking listened to him once, seated in your chair again. “I was tired of hearing your stupid demands.” 

 Hyunjin flipped through a few pieces of paper in his notebook before he pushed it your way. “Give that a look over, it’s the notes I took on Ophelia over the weekend.” The idea of him studying for the project just like you had done forced your mind to run rampant with all kinds of thoughts. Like, was he also stressing out about the meeting like you had been doing?

 “I already told you— we’re not working together.” 

 “For Christ’s sake, just give it up!” Hyunjin exclaimed in a loud voice, throwing his hands up into the air in mock defeat. “You act like this is the deciding project of our grade— it’s a fucking weekly assignment. All we have to do is our best, which will be pretty damn good if we’re both working on it.” 

 “So then you admit that I’m a good student.” You raised an eyebrow his way, fingers slowly taking ahold of his notebook and playing with the edges of the paper.

 Taking in a deep sigh, he pointed at the notebook in front of you. “Just focus— okay? I want to get as much work done as possible tonight.” 

 “Fine, but don’t blame me if we get a bad grade because we rush it.” You said, finally raising the white flag of surrender and taking in the contents of his notebook. The notes were detailed and insanely good, highlighting certain formal aspects of Ophelia’s character and the overarching themes of her madness. “Wow— this is… really good.” You said in a quiet voice, almost hoping that he wouldn’t hear it. 

 Rummaging through your nearby bag, you pulled out a pink highlighter to take some notes, and your chosen lollipop for the night, mango flavored. You liked to reward yourself with a fun treat of candy whenever you did late-night studying sessions since the sugar kept your energy levels high and helped to keep you focused. Ever since you were a little girl, you seemed to concentrate better when your mind wasn’t entirely on the content you were studying. 

 “I mean, I’m not coined as one of the school’s top students for nothing,” Hyunjin remarked in a sarcastic tone. You chose to ignore his comment and instead focus on his neat handwriting and the way his words fit in perfectly to the columns of the notebook paper. 

 Everything about him was perfect — from his looks to his academic success to his damn handwriting. Hell, what wasn’t he good at? 

 For one thing, being a nice fucking person. 

 And he seemingly couldn’t grasp the idea of how not to be an asshole to people he didn’t like.

 Unfortunately, you were categorized in his list of people that he hated. 

 As you flipped to the next page in his notebook, your tongue swirled around the lollipop in your mouth. The sugary sweetness of the artificial mango flavor coated your tongue deliciously, and it awakened all of your senses in the best way possible. The minutes seemed to tick by, as you began to make notes based on Hyunjin’s research from his notebook, turning away from the paper and typing into the Word document that you had started for the project.

 Faintly, in the back of your mind, you could hear Hyunjin’s soft inhales and exhales, as he focused on his research. All else was quiet in the library, what with it being completely void of life on a Monday at eleven at night. You could distinctly pick out the sounds of rainfall pitter-pattering just outside the large window behind Hyunjin’s seat, as the night drew on in a heavy mist of dew and moisture. 

 “Why do you hate me so much?” 

 Hyunjin’s words were faint and broke you out of your daze of thought. You had been frantically writing down some of your critiques about Ophelia as a character, and your head shot up from your computer to catch a glimpse of him staring back at you. 

 You didn’t know how long he had been like that, sitting back in his chair, long, raven hair a wavy mess around his face and eyes a little bleary from a mixture of sheer exhaustion and that… darkness that you could never quite pinpoint. You had only ever seen him direct such swarthy looks at you, and that fact disheartened you a lot.

 “I think the real question you should be asking is what’s not to hate about you.” You deadpanned, giving him a deep frown as you poked your lollipop into the corner of one of your cheeks, tucking it away for the moment. 

 Folding his arms across his chest in that abrasive way that he always did around you, he tilted his head to the side with a raised eyebrow. “Okay, spill the tea.” 

 Taking in a deep breath to stave off your rising nerves and irritation with the man before you, you carded a few fingers through your hair. “To start with, you’re a complete and total asshole.” 

 “I think we’ve already touched on this point by now.” 

 His retort left you to stare daggers into his eyes, wishing someone would just come up behind him and slit his throat because you sure did want to at that moment. But you also supposed that the Dean of the university wouldn’t take a liking to you murdering his son. 

 “Secondly, you’re always stuck up and hard-headed and annoying and… and immature.” 

 Hyunjin blew out a deep, long whisper. “Damn, spare my ego some, will ya?” 

 But you weren’t planning on stopping anytime soon. He had started the engine of the train, and now you were rolling down the tracks of sheer rising anger and all of the pent-up rage that you had felt towards him for the past three years. “And you’re right okay? I am fucking jealous. I’m so jealous of you that I can’t breathe sometimes— you haven’t had to work a day in your life for your position, yet I’ve had to scrape by on my hands and knees, clawing— begging at life to grant me just one fucking break.” You weren't even yelling. Instead, the words just come out hushed and all too grave. 

 Like, if anyone else but him heard them, you’d crumble into a pile of ash and disintegrate into thin air, never to be seen again. Because it was fucking embarrassing, to be so affected by him still, even after all of these years. 

 He stayed silent, watching as you flayed your hands around in the air in your exasperation. You were fed up with your life and the hold that he had over it. You were finally at your breaking point and you had had enough. 

 And you think that at that moment, he had also seen and acknowledged that, staying silent to let all of the words spew out of you like an erupting volcano that had been bound to blow from the very start. 

 “But you? You get everything handed to you on a pretty, silver platter because your daddy is wealthy and you're drop-dead gorgeous and practically have the brain of a neuroscientist. Meanwhile, I was raised by a poor single mother in the slums of Seoul and the only way I got into this university in the first place is because I busted my ass throughout middle and high school to earn the top student’s place,” you pointed a finger between the two of you. Almost like, the tip of it was sharp enough, you could cut right through him. Blade tearing through sinew and flesh and bones. “And then you dare to come around these parts, acting like you own everything, trying to put me in my place. When in reality, you’re the one that needs to be put in your place. Someone needs to knock you down a few pegs, and I’ve always thought… why not me?” 

 For a moment, nothing else happens after that. 

 And irrationally, you’re suddenly afraid of him. 

 Of what he might do — what he might say and to whom — with this newfound information about you. 

 Hardly anyone at school knew about your personal life and struggles. You tended to stay to yourself and instead focus on your studies instead of going out to late-night parties or hitting up the local clubs. And you were an extremely private person, to begin with. You saw no point in pouring out your life's sob story to people you would never see again after four years. 

 But all at once, you wondered if Hwang Hyunjin was a dangerous man. 

 If he was someone who would use your personal information against you. 

 And if the last three years were anything to go off of, you wouldn’t put it past him. 

 “Fuck— I shouldn’t have said all of that,” you grumbled, jamming your fingers into your eye sockets and scrubbing at your lids. “Just… forget all of this, yeah? Forget I said anything.” Then you were standing up from your seat for the second time that night, heart leaping in the pit of your chest as you once again gathered your things into your bag. “It’s late anyways. I should head home and keep studying for my other classes. We can meet up some other time for this, it’s not due til, what… Sunday? That gives us plenty of—”

 “Y/N.” Just like before, the sound of your name on his tongue caused you to pause entirely, limbs halting their movement of shoving your computer into your bag. “Just— shut up, yeah?” His voice came out softer than you expected it would, forcing a shiver down the length of your spine. 

 “Don’t call me that.” 

 “Don’t call you what?” 

 “Y/N.” 

 “Why, because it makes you feel things?” He asked in a gravelly voice. You were avoiding even looking at him at that moment, hands a little shaky as you anxiously started to suck on your lollipop again, rolling it around in the corner of your cheek. “What are you so afraid of?” 

 “You, okay?! It’s always been you!” Your outburst was a lot louder than you expected it to be, ringing across the space between you and echoing in the far distance of the library’s upper-level floor. 

 A beat of silence lapsed between the two of you, and you trained your gaze on a corner of the room, studying the small dust bunny that stood there, completely still and lifeless. In that moment, you could relate to it quite a bit. Lost and confused. Wanting to move away, but not being able to for some weird reason. 

 Hyunjin’s old wooden settee creaked in the silence, as he shifted in his position. “To be honest, I’m scared of you too.” And just like that, your head was snapping his way and your eyes were widening in surprise. “For one, I’m scared of that stupid thing.” With his dark eyes, he motioned towards your mouth. To the lollipop that you were dutifully sucking on, in and out, in and out. You stopped altogether when you realized why he had been so quiet during your studying session. He hadn’t been studying — he had been focusing on you, on the candy in your mouth. Feeling self-conscious about it, you took it out of your mouth and laid it down on the table. “And I’m scared of how you make me feel— crazed out of my mind, all of the time. Like a sick fucking plague, you inhabit my everything… from the moment I wake to the moment I ease, you’re all I can think about, all I can dream about. And I hate it so fucking much that it kills me a little bit more every single day.” 

 “Hyunjin, I—”

 His eyes nearly rolled into the back of his skull, head tipping back in delight as his lips parted just slightly. “Yes— fuck, say it again.” 

 “Say… what?” 

 “You know.” 

 Heart leaping wildly in your throat, and broken butterflies waning in the depths of your stomach, your mouth was moving on its own accord. “Hyunjin.” 

 Like a trigger being pulled back from a gun and flitting the weapon into action, the bullet was shot across the distance between the two of you. And the bullet was your words — you calling out his name. 

 In an instant, he was a flurry of motion before you. All designer clothes soaked from rainwater and long, wavy hair that still had droplets of water at the tips. He was a flash of milky skin hidden underneath a sheer, wet button-down. The faint, waning moonlight shining through the window pane cast an ominous, angelic-like halo around his tall, built frame. 

 And by the time you could breathe again, he had you exactly where he wanted you. Pinned up against the nearest tall bookshelf that reached up into the height of the library's ceiling. One strong hand pinning your two hands against the wood above your head, while the other was positioned just unearth your chin, holding your jaw bone and stroking the flesh there with a gentle thumb. 

 “Now tell me you feel nothing at all, tell me you fucking hate me with your entire being, that you’ll always hate me, and that you think I’m a deprived cunt who needs to be murdered ruthlessly in front of everyone I love.” His words were hushed, their meaning brutal. His face was so close to yours, that you could feel the warmth of his breath as he spoke. Leaning into you, he drove his middle a little closer to the part of your legs. 

 Breath catching painfully between your windpipes and the lump in your throat, you stared up at him with blurry vision. Your attention was growing fuzzy at the edges, as you could do nothing more but hone in on… him. Subconsciously, you could feel the mango sweetness of your lollipop coating your tongue again and again as you swallowed. 

 “I—I hate you so fucking much, Hwang Hyunjin.” 

 He pressed into you a little further, breathing in your scent and closing his eyes as his head tipped close to one part of your neck. Mouth hovering over the shell of your ear, he whispered, “Say it again, sweetheart, with a little more passion this time.” 

 “I… I hate you so much, I can’t function with the thought of you existing in the same lifetime as me.” 

 You felt him moving against you then, hand moving away from your jaw and coming around one of your hips, fingers digging into the soft fabric of your black sweatpants. “You don’t have to be afraid of me, sweetheart…” He started, mouth hovering over that space just behind your ear, warm breath fanning against your exposed gooseflesh there. “I won’t hurt you— it was never my intention in the first place. It was… just a fun game to me, to toy around with you. But I never wanted to actually fucking hurt you.” 

 You could feel your mind and heart racing in tandem, going a mile a minute, as you took in all of his words. Because what, the actual fuck? What was he saying? And why was he saying it? And why did you feel yourself crumbling from it all, your resolve breaking down into dust and getting whisked away to the future of Neverland? 

 “I never meant to make you cry,” He said slowly, pulling away from your face just a tiny bit to gauge your reaction to his confession. You gaped up at him, completely speechless in your unadulterated wonder. “Sure, I wanted to make you cry— but not in the cruel kind of way… not in the way that most people would like to do.”

 His insinuation, his innuendo there, jumbled something around deep inside of your spirit. And you could practically feel your knees buckling underneath you from the reality of it all. From the fact that he was never truly set out to cause you permanent damage. And so far, he hadn’t. All he had done was make an ass out of himself and be a continual thorn in your side. But he wasn’t necessarily entirely cruel, and you never truly suspected that he’d do something catastrophically damaging. 

 “But all you have to do is tell me— tell me you never thought about me or dreamed about me or wondered about me, and I’ll be gone forever. You’ll never hear, or see me again. It’ll be like I never existed in the first place and I—”

 “I can’t fathom a life without you in it,” you suddenly blurted out, already feeling the hint of crimson blooming beneath your cheeks and at the tip of your nose. You peered up at him, staring into those depthless, chocolate-brown eyes, reading the dancing emotions there. “Sure, I might despise your guts at times, but… I also think you’re a pretty amazing guy. And… I have to admit that sometimes, I do think about you when I’m alone, at night, and laying in my bed.” 

 His hand clutched a little tighter at your hip then, his fingers intertwining with yours and continuing to hoist your arms up and above your head. “Oh yeah? What do you imagine when you think about me so late into the night?” He rasped out, the sound of his voice grating against your ears and sending flames to burst across the entirety of your veins. 

 “Your face, mostly— how your lips would feel and how you’d taste and what you’d sound like if—”

 After that, you didn’t even get the chance to finish your sentence. 

 He was honing in on you like a vulture to its prey, moving with such swiftness — like a phantom in the night, like a monster hidden underneath the bed, like a selkie in the depths of the ocean. 

 As it turns you, your dreams about him were accurate. 

 Because his plush lips did feel like pure heaven. 

 They pushed against yours, his mouth fitting atop yours like something that was carved into the universe — something that was almost meant to be. He was devouring you whole — heart and mind and soul and body. 

 And with each press of his silky lips, you fell down the hole of darkness and heat just a little bit more. Then the tip of his tongue was poking out and tracing the line of your mouth and you fell into him, fingers clawing at his that still had your arms held up high above your head, desperately searching for purchase as your legs threatened to give out underneath you. 

 When his tongue plowed into the small part between your lips, you let out a breathless moan. The kind that had been hidden deep, buried, and un-satiated for so fucking long. By the time he was tasting you, his hands had released your arms and you were scrambling for something to hold. Desperately, in your haste of arousal and temptation, you were clutching at the cool, wet fabric of his cream-colored button-down, holding on for dear life as his hands tightened around your waist and hoisted you up against the bookshelf further. 

 Your spine crammed into the wooden shelves there, as you wrapped your legs around his torso, yanking him closer with each passioned kiss that he gave you. Again and again, he drew those same, sinful sounds out of you. Just like all of the times before, he was playing a sick kind of game with you. But this time, it wasn’t all that bad. This time, you were quite enjoying yourself. 

 As your parted legs held his hips close to your frame, you could feel the hardness there, in the center of him. Just aching to be released. And suddenly, you came to terms with the fact that the wetness between your legs was rapidly growing with each kiss that he gave you. 

 He sucked on your lips like they were his lifeline — and you wondered, in that moment, how he’d treat the rest of you — how much attention he’d offer the rest of your body. 

 “J-Jin, I—” The shortened nickname slipped out between your lips when the two of you parted to catch your breaths. And when you noticed his swollen mouth, you were almost positive that yours looked just as bad, if not worse. 

 “What, baby doll?” He hummed, mouth moving away from yours entirely and coming close to the line of your jaw. You blushed wildly at the pet name, liking the way it sounded in his silky voice. He moved aside the thick fabric of your violet-colored knit turtleneck with his nose, lips attaching to the skin of your neck and suckling like a vampire drunken on the crimson of his lover. “What is it that you need right now?” 

 Your hands were scrambling for him, finding purchase in his dark roots and pulling just a tad bit there. The abuse to his scalp made him hiss out, warm breath painting across the heated flesh of the column of your neck brilliantly. “N—Need you t—to—” But your words were cut short by the way one of his hands was moving away from your waist, traveling under the hemline of your sweater, a long, nimble finger dancing across your belly button and rising to the center of your stomach. 

 “You need me, hmm?” He mused lowly, mouth having journeyed down to the skin closest to your clavicle, leaving violet-hued marks that would surely survive into the next few days. “Need me to fuck you, right? Need me to take you so irrevocably well right here and right now… can’t wait any longer, yeah?” As he spoke the words into existence, his naughty hand was already finding its way toward the lace of your bralette, skirting across its edges. Then, a single finger dipped underneath the elastic there, skirting up the length of your breast until it was resting against your pebbled nub. “Such a naughty little thing… who knew that the university’s prodigy just needed a good fucking, huh? That all she wanted was to get fucked open against the library bookshelves.” 

 You were gasping out in pure bliss, fingers digging in a little harder into his long wisps of hair as his hands began to explore your chest. Brushing, twisting, pulling. Then doing it all over again with the other mound. “Y—Yeah,” you managed to spit out, trembling underneath him, legs wounding tighter around his waist, bringing him ever closer. “Can you do that… fuck me? I need it so bad right now, I can’t handle it if you just leave me like this…” You were practically begging out the words, so desperate in your pleas that you were almost certain your groveling was boosting his already inflated ego. 

 “I only fuck good girls. Girls who don’t call me an asshole and don’t say they hate me.” 

 At that, your eyes were tearing open in a mix of surprise and despair. But the way that his hand didn’t stop touching your breasts, still playing with them, told you everything you needed to know at that moment. 

 You wiggled your hips slowly, grinding into the hardness between his dark-washed jeans. “Stop touching me then— stop kissing me and stop looking at me,” you began, taunting him with your movements and the way that you spoke in a velvety tone, all soft and delicate and innocent. When what the two of you were doing was anything but innocent. “But you can’t, right? Can’t get the thought of me out of your head— of what this pussy would feel like clenched around your cock, squeezing you for dear life as you fuck into me for the hundredth time in a single day—” 

 He was cutting off your words with his quick hands, shedding off your sweater and bralette in one go. Then he was bending down slowly, hands coming up to cup your chest. He stared up at you from his crouched position, watching the feelings rove across your face as he blew hot hair against one of your nipples. 

 “Just fucking shut up already bitch,” he said in a low grumble, as his hand came over your tit, mouth melding onto the warm skin there effortlessly. His other hand was busy playing with your neglected breast, squeezing there a little bit harder when his teeth grazed one of your nipples, tongue lapping at the bud. “You’re only to speak when spoken to, you understand me?” He asked, pulling away from your breast and making a crude, wet sucking noise as he did so.

 Glaring down at him through lust-filled eyes, you sneered his way. “You don’t get to tell me what to do, asshole.” Hands gripping onto his hair a little bit, you pushed his face closer to your chest as he began to work on your other breast, leaving a ring of wetness as he went. “And don’t call me bitch.”

 You could feel him smirk against your skin, his low chuckle vibrating against your gooseflesh and sending ripples of energy to course through your veins. “Mhm— why not? Your pussy sure seems to love the name.” He mused sadistically, completely unlatching from your breast, hands finding their way back at your hips. 

 “What are you even talk—”

 But he didn’t leave any more room for questions, one hand ripping away from your waist and covering your covered centre. “This, right here,” he said in a low whisper, fingers cupping your warmth there, and you could practically feel the essence dripping out of you, just behind your thin panties and sweatpants. “Bet you’ll get even more soaked when I call you it again.”

 “You know nothing about me.” The words came out garbled and wobbly, as he maneuvered your sweatpants down and off of your legs entirely. “Y—You don’t know my body.” 

 He threw you a sardonic kind of smile, leaning into the side of you, lips caressing the shell of your ear as he spoke in soft tones. “Yeah, but I’ve done a hell of a lot of observing over the years…” At his words, you could feel his hand nearing your middle again, and you involuntarily parted your legs in want. 

 When his fingers came in contact with the lace of your panties, you had to pull out your biggest bout of self-control to hold in the moan that wanted to escape from you. His movements were expert level, as he pushed the fabric off to the side, running a single finger up your lips, feeling for that small spot at the very top. Circling his thumb around there, his other fingers worked at your entrance, and before you knew it, he was pressing two long digits into you. 

 “F—Fuck—“ You groaned at the feeling of it all, falling into him and clawing at his shoulders that were still covered in that damp button-up shirt. “Hyunjin.” You were moaning out his name before you even realized it, hips jutting up slowly against his hand, your head getting thrown back as his fingers searched and found that warm, gooey spot deep inside of you. 

 “See? I know exactly what the fuck I’m doing,” he muttered, lips coming around the side of your neck and suckling violet marks into the skin there. “So be a good bitch and shut up for me, yeah? Take it like a good girl— like the good whore that I know you are.” 

 You couldn’t even protest against him using the name again, because, in all honesty, you did like it. It felt dirty and wrong but so very fucking right at the same time. It caused your walls to spasm against the three fingers he had stuck inside of you, as he pumped in and out with a rabid kind of pace. The sound of his movements forced shivers down the length of your spine, as his thumb pressed into your clit a little more. 

 “Y—You gotta fuck me now, Jin—” You mumbled, already reaching the edge of orgasm from the way that he was steadily working you up with his hand alone. Half of his fingers were buried deep inside of you and the others were desperately clutching at your hip bone to bring you closer to him. The sounds he was pulling from you, both wetness and moans of pleasure, were other-worldly. “N—Need to feel your cock inside of me, right fucking now.” 

 In your daze of lust, you found yourself clasping at the buttons of his shirt, quickly undoing them and sliding his damp shirt off of his frame. What lay underneath was a chiseled chest — a muscular abdomen, biceps that rippled with each breath he took, and a dark trail that led towards his dick. You ran your fingers down the milky expanse of his chest, marveling at how soft and chiseled everything felt. 

 Sighing out quietly, you stared up at him with pleading eyes. “You’re so fucking hot… always knew you would be.” That made Hyunjin smirk with satisfaction, as he tipped into you for a breathless kiss. 

 While his lips captured your own, you could feel his hands working at your panties, sliding them off your legs and leaving you completely bare. Then you heard the clanking noise of a belt coming undone, as he unmistakably rid himself of his pants and boxers. 

 Then he was parting from your mouth, focus turned down to where the centers of your bodies met together. Your mouth fell open at the sight of… him. All seven-and-a-half inches, long shaft curving upward in arousal and precum leaking out of the pretty red tip. A single vein ran down the side, bulging from his unchecked want.

 “Need you to be nice and loud for me, yeah?” He growled in that low tone of his, as he guided himself near your entrance. “Let the entire school know who you belong to— scream my name, bitch, and tell everyone who fucking owns you.” 

 His words jumbled around inside of your mind, making you feel lightheaded as he slowly began to slide into you. You widened your legs a little bit for him, wrapping them around his waist as he quickly bottomed out. The stretch was only slight and left you hissing with relief when he was fit into you at the hilt.

 Without any warning, he was sliding out almost completely, before thrusting back in, hitting into you so roughly, that your spine jammed into the wooden bookshelf at your back. And just like that, he was setting a hellish pace. One that was sure to make you crumble before him — fall apart at the seams. 

 “Mhm— fuck!” You screamed out in a guttural voice, throwing your head back against the bookshelf desperately as his hips snapped against yours feverishly. You were gripping onto his shoulders so hard, running your nails down his back, that you were sure you’d leave red marks later. “Holy shit- feels so good!”

 One of Hyunjin’s hands traveled away from your waist, long, nimble fingers digging into your scalp, yanking at the hair there. “Louder, bitch— take it all like the filthy slut that you are.” He shouted, voice coming out raspy as he pounded into you roughly. 

 In the very back of your mind, you distinctly heard the pitter-patter of rainfall against the nearby windowpane mixing in with the sounds of the two of you  — skin slapping against skin and wetness squelching. It was straight out of a porno and made your head swim with so many dirty thoughts. Breath catching in the center of your throat, you found your lips opening up and releasing a blood-curdling cry of pleasure. 

 Your noises of ecstasy seemed to compel Hyunjin forward with drive, as he rutted into you in a manic kind of way, thumb tracing figure-eight symbols into your inflamed clit. Almost like, if he didn’t get it out of his system, he’d never be able to live afterward — wouldn’t be able to breathe or think or speak. The tip of him hit up into that warm spot inside of you, and you clenched a little harder around this throbbing cock every time he teased you right there. 

 “Fuck— I can’t… I’m gonna…” You groaned out loudly. Your eyes flittered into the back of your skull from the way that he pulled at your hair at the same time that he fucked up into you. 

 Hyunjin grunted out lowly, hips snapping against yours with each thrust. “J—Just a little farther, doll face…” From the way that his domineering tone was slipping away, you could tell that he was also creeping near the edge of release. 

 You could feel the slip and slide between your legs, your essence coating every surface of your inner thighs and making everything feel silky and smooth. The intensity of his movements slowed down somewhat, the frenzy of his rocking leveling out as he chased your guys’ highs. 

 “Yes… right there!” You mewled out breathlessly just as the tip of him hit so far into you, that entire galaxies were cast against the expanse of your closed eyes. Your cheeks felt like they were on fire — the flush creeping down the column of your purple-marked neck and into the depths of your soul as he continued to circle your bundle of nerves. 

 Walls clenching around his cock that was buried deep inside of your warmth, you could feel the moment Hyunjin found that blissful space of his release. “I’m gonna come— fuck—” He rasped out, his voice on the quiet side as he lost all semblance of control. 

Hips stuttering against yours, he made to pull out of you completely. But you found yourself shaking your head, eyes shooting open, and giving him a serious frown. “N—No… want you to… come inside…” Your head was empty of all thoughts, as you could do nothing more but focus on the way that he felt so close to you - so far deep inside. 

 At that, Hyunjin was offering you a tiny, satisfied grin. Then he was seizing up inside of you, cock stretching against your walls as he met his high. It overtook his entire system, overruling all other obstacles and forcing his head backward in pure, orgasmic bliss. The prettiest sounds fell from his plump, crimson, kiss-swollen lips, as he let himself slip down the cliff with ease. 

 The feeling of his release painting your walls in warm whiteness caused your entire body to convulse with pleasure, as you finally found your high. It was unlike anything you had ever experienced before… perfect and whole and so fucking hot. Bursts of rose and topaz and turquoise splashed across the inner workings of your mind, as your insides fluttered around Hyunjin’s cock that fit perfectly between your legs. 

 “Holy shit, that was…” You said breathlessly after you had begun to come down from your high. Cracking your eyes open you noticed the darkness still there in Hyunjin’s gaze, and the way that his eyes slit shut with want. The sound of the rain outside lulled your mind into a perfect state of peaceful limbo. “What?” You asked, raising an eyebrow his way in question. “What is it?” 

 He shrugged slowly, eyes coming away from your connected middles and locking with yours. “Nothing, just… I can’t fucking believe you just let me cum inside of you— with no protection.” 

 You could feel his cock softening inside of you, and finally, your legs stopped shaking around his waist. “Why? You don’t like the idea of that?” Beginning to pull away from him, you tried to yank as far away from his cock as you could. “If you didn’t like it, you should’ve—”

 Hyunjin’s mouth was coming onto you in the next beat, capturing your lips up into a heated kiss, stealing the labored breath right from your lungs and sucking on your puffy bottom lip. “Just shut the fuck up, alright. I fucking loved it… it was so hot— you’re so hot. Makes me wanna come in you every single day.” You could feel him move between your legs then, as he began to fuck his seed back into your aching walls. In the back of your mind, you could feel his hand lazily working at you, pushing a single digit back into your entrance between his cock, thrusting in the cum that was splattered across your thighs.  

 Groaning out softly at his words, you placed your hands on his bare chest and pushed a little bit so that you could get a look at his face again. It was filled with so much lust and want and adoration, the sight of it all almost overwhelmed you entirely. “Well, I suppose I could allow that…” Your voice trailed off, as you dragged a single finger up the center of his chest and towards the sharp line of his jaw. “If it’s with you— then yeah, you can fuck me raw every day.” 

 Hyunjin let out a low noise, which sounded like a mix between a moan and a cry for help. “But we can’t, baby doll— it wouldn’t be smart and I’d never want to put you in any kind of uncomfortable position.” 

 You found yourself shrugging off his concerns nonchalantly, as you drove your hips a little forward, meeting his shallow strokes. You loved the feeling there, of wetness and silky essence. “Yeah, but… the good thing is, at least we’d know who the father is.” 

 At that, he was flashing you a wicked smirk, pearly white glinting against puffy, red lips. His tiny smile was the last thing you saw before he was tipping into you and fitting his mouth around yours again. “Oh, you devilish little minx… I think I’ll keep you for a very long time.” 

 In the back of your mind, you could feel him moving against you, cock already stiffening again just from your words and insinuations alone. But at that moment, you weren’t too worried about what he planned to do with you for the rest of the night. Because right then, all you wanted to focus on was his face, and the way he let you ring your arms around his neck, pulling at the hair at his nape as he pressed kiss after impassioned kiss to your mouth. 

 It turns out that your roommate Felix had been right after all. In the end, working with Hwang Hyunjin hadn’t been that horrible. 

 It had been quite… nice. 

 Despite all of the bickering and shouting. 

 After a while, the rough bumps and edges of your rocky relationship seemed to mellow out between the tall bookshelves of the library. And before you knew it- he had you completely bending at his will — practically groveling at his feet for his love, attention, and care. 

 In the end, you supposed that that’s what you had always wanted from each other, and that’s why you had been so horrible to one another. If you couldn’t garner each other’s attention with regular conversations and friendship, the next best thing was to be rivals in your academics and throw insults at every opportunity you were offered. 

 But the thing about trying to hate Hwang Hyunjin — trying to hate such a smart, caring, passionate man — is that eventually, one’s willpower always breaks down, and they’re left in a pile of mess and limbs as they search out his affection. 

Fin.

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[luvkyu]

dunk shot ( zhong chenle )

chenle x male reader

chenle's boyfriend becomes the talk of the athletic department, but chenle doesn't mind.

content : 1.5k words, fluff, uni!au, basketball player!chenle x track runner!reader, reader is kind of a heartthrob

( a/n ) baskemtball

chenle rolled the cart of basketballs onto the gym floor, followed by two of his teammates doing the same. as captain of his university's basketball team, he always took the initiative of making sure the court was prepped, safe, and ready for a productive practice.

"alright, let's start with the usual stretches and a few laps around the gym," he announced.

as everyone fell into their usual warm up routines, murmurs of conversation began to resonate against the gym walls. chenle took his time and jogged lightly with yangyang and jungwoo on either side of him.

"did you guys see the new track team member?" yangyang asked.

"oh yeah, i actually have a class with him," jungwoo answered brightly.

"really?? what's his name?"

"y/n. he's really cute."

chenle perked up at the mention of his boyfriend. a small smile tugged at his lips. he decided to stay quiet on the subject of the male. despite jungwoo and yangyang being his friends, they didn't know chenle was dating someone - let alone dating the new student that they were now talking about hitting on.

chenle and y/n never agreed to be secretive or excessively private with their relationship, they were just naturally lowkey. this wasn't the first time chenle was hearing people talk up his boyfriend, either. he'd gotten pretty used to people fawning over y/n. who was he to blame them?

the rest of practice went by like any other. a few people would come in and sit on the bleachers while waiting for friends or simply to check out their crushes on the basketball team.

they were beginning to wrap up practice when yangyang recognized a familiar face.

"shit, is that y/n??"

chenle and jungwoo instantly looked over to where yangyang was pointing. sure enough, y/n was sitting on the bleachers with another track runner, jeno.

"god, he's so pretty," jungwoo mumbled. chenle couldn't help but smile.

"alright, c'mon. let's finish up and get all the basketballs back in storage," chenle nagged with a snicker. his friends ogling at his boyfriend gave him a weird feeling. he was somehow proud and uncomfortable at the same time.

jungwoo and yangyang went to join the team in finishing tasks. chenle looked over at y/n one more time, now meeting the male's eyes. y/n smiled largely at him and waved. chenle felt like he could faint at how wholesome he was. he waved back and sent him an endearing wink before joining the rest of his team.

"so how would you say your first practice was?" jeno asked.

"really good! i'm excited for the first meet."

jeno nodded happily.

"i'm glad we finally got a good anchor for the relay. you're gonna crush the other teams."

y/n let out a small chuckle. "so who're you waiting for?"

"my friend jisung. we're meeting some friends for dinner," jeno answered. "and you're waiting for chenle?"

"mhm!"

jeno could see the way y/n's face lit up. he laughed a bit and nodded along.

"alright, when's the wedding?" jeno teased.

y/n rolled his eyes and elbowed jeno's side. jeno laughed just as jisung came up to the two of them.

"sungie!"

jisung cringed at the name, "ew. are you ready to go?"

jeno smiled and nodded as he now got up from the bleachers.

"see you tomorrow, y/n?" he asked.

"mhm! have fun," y/n chimed in reply, giving them both a wave.

the pair began walking out of the gym, but y/n didn't miss the way jisung took a double glance at him.

"wait, that's y/n?" jisung whispered to his friend. jeno scoffed.

"yeah. you know him?"

"everyone does at this point. people are going ballistic over him."

"including you?" jeno teased. jisung gave him a side eye and continued walking.

as y/n now sat alone, he picked up his phone and began scrolling through instagram to keep himself occupied. without thinking, he went straight to chenle's profile and looked through some of the photos he'd posted. he often did this when he was missing chenle or just wanted to see him.

a few basketball players started departing from the locker rooms a few minutes later, walking through the gym to get to the exit. y/n looked up in hopes of seeing his boyfriend. he frowned. no chenle. with a small sigh, he rested his palm against his cheek and went back to his phone.

meanwhile, chenle laid his towel over his shoulder as he stepped out of the showers. he wiped his face tiredly. all he wanted to do now was go home with y/n and relax for the evening.

making his way out of the men's locker room now, chenle found y/n on the bleachers. the male looked up from his phone to see chenle walking toward him. a large grin was instantly planted on y/n's face as he got up to greet him.

"hi babe. thanks for waiting for me," chenle said warmly.

"of course," y/n replied. he took chenle's hand, intertwining their fingers as they began to leave the gym together.

"wait, isn't that y/n?" jungwoo pointed from the other end of the gym, "..with chenle?"

yangyang quickly looked where jungwoo was pointing, catching a glimpse of the couple before they disappeared from the building.

"were they holding hands??"

"what the hell.."

the two friends looked at each other in confusion.

"was that why y/n was here? waiting for chenle?" yangyang asked.

"but wouldn't chenle tell us they're together?" jungwoo countered.

they looked back in the direction of the boys, trying to process the situation before both busting into a fit of laughter.

"that little shit let us drool over y/n when they're literally dating," jungwoo laughed.

yangyang let out a small cackle. "text him and ask about it," he suggested.

jungwoo's smile never faltered as he took out his phone. yangyang hung over the other's shoulder, eager to see how their friend would respond.

jungwoo :

CHENLEEE do you wanna get dinner with some of the team tonight??

chenle :

i have plans but thanks for the invite

jungwoo and yangyang exchanged glances as more snickering erupted between them.

"he has plans," jungwoo reiterated.

yangyang rolled his eyes before gesturing back to jungwoo's phone.

jungwoo :

booo

what are you doing that doesnt involve us 🙄

chenle :

lots of things

jungwoo :

DAMN OKAY 😢

chenle :

LMAO

you guys just go, i'll meet you before the game tomorrow

jungwoo :

ur not gonna tell us about y/n? 🙄👎

chenle :

what about him

jungwoo :

THAT YOURE TOGETHER

WITH HIM

BEING TOGETHER WITH HIM

chenle :

HELPEHSKSJ

yeah he's my boyfriend

jungwoo :

BRUH ??? AND YOU LET ME AND YY MAKE ASSES OF OURSELVES WHEN WE WERE TALKING ABOUT HIM

chenle :

yeah it was pretty funny tbh

jungwoo :

maaaan fuck u 😭

chenle :

LMFOADHK

do you guys wanna meet him? he's coming to the game tomorrow

jungwoo :

yes we would love to meet your boyfriend 😒

chenle :

okay see you tomorrow !!

jungwoo sighed and turned his phone off before looking at yangyang again.

"he's a fucking menace."

"where's y/n?"

"i dunno, i can't find him in the crowd."

yangyang and jungwoo were watching like hawks outside of the gym, searching for y/n's familiar face in the sea of people that came for their basketball game.

"cause he's right here, dipshits," chenle interrupted. he watched his friends quickly turn around to see y/n by his side.

"hi," y/n waved a bit awkwardly. to be honest, he was scared of meeting chenle's friends after hearing they were quite the characters. "nice to meet you guys."

yangyang and jungwoo stood up straight and gave big smiles, as if they were meeting a celebrity.

"hi, y/n! i'm jungwoo."

"i'm yangyang! nice to meet you too! finally," yangyang joked while glaring at chenle.

"will you guys go get ready for the game now?" chenle nodded toward the locker room with a teasing smile.

yangyang rolled his eyes and grabbed jungwoo's arm to drag his along. jungwoo stuck his tongue out at chenle before the two disappeared into the locker room.

chenle sighed happily and turned to face his boyfriend.

"there you go, two of my friends."

"they seem.. fun," y/n laughed.

"on some days," chenle joked along. "alright, i should go get in there too."

"yeah, the game's starting soon, go go."

chenle stayed put for a second, gazing at y/n with love struck eyes. y/n couldn't help but smile at him. he took chenle's hands and gave him a small kiss, to which chenle quickly reacted and deepened the kiss to keep y/n with him longer. their lips moved in sync until they heard one of chenle's team members shout from inside the locker room.

"oh, if only we had a team captain here!!"

chenle pulled away from y/n, a light blush coating his cheeks. he looked down at their still connected hands with an idiotic smile.

"those fuckers, i swear," he mumbled. y/n simply snickered and let go of his hands.

"i'll see you after the game, le. i'm gonna be sitting with jeno, wherever he chose to sit. but i'll wait for you after."

"mm," chenle hummed happily while nodding. he gave y/n one last kiss before hurrying off to meet his team.

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