#like yas i love this messed up and complex story but also i want happiness lol
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the urge to create a moodboard of how I think the cattonquick flat would look like. the urge to write a future domestic fic... someone hold me
#cattonquick#they make me feel so much its crazy🚬#in a parallel universw saltburn is actually just a gay rom com and they got together in the end🚬🤗 hope this helps#like yas i love this messed up and complex story but also i want happiness lol#gotta work hard to get a career jn movie making and then climb up so that in 20 years i can make a remake of saltburn but its actually#a continuation and it starts with oliver reading a novel titled saltburn and then he gets home to his husband fwlix
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Okay, so I finally read the original TMNT one-shot (courtesy of V.1 of the Ultimate Collection and ...
....
....
I have so many thoughts.
Okay so, Shredder is their second fight. Ever. They fight and kill a group of Purple Dragons, it's their first real outing ever, and that's enough for Splinter to decide they're ready to take on the master assassin/crime-boss??? Also, speaking of Splinter, he kinda sucks as a person??? I guess they all do tho, like cycle of violence much. Yoshi probably wasn't much better, he was part of the Foot too after all. Anyways, Shredder is their origin story. He's not their story. What. Like, dude is so insanely impactful in so many iterations of their story and you're telling me Shredder-Prime fell off a building and blew himself up with his own grenade??????? Wtfwtfwtf. Yeah I know they won the fight first, but he really went out like a punk. How did this man acquire Main/Major Villain status? He lost a fight to some kids whose training was mostly theoretical at that point. Kids that he beat up and tired out first. That were trained by a rat. A rat that only is a ninja because he mimicked his owners training in a dojo. And he lost. To them. Like, I could see the Foot being a recurring problem. But I find OG Shredder kinda pathetic.
Circling back round to Splinter cause I got more to say about him. First! Rats don't live that long. Which I know isn't the point, but damnit I gotta say it. Like, my dude must've been a mutant rat already to live like 20 years before his master even got murked. It bears repeating- Splinter is a shit parent. How shitty? Depends on your personal opinion and your own relationship to your parent(s). But this rat gained sentience, watched four little baby turtles gain sentience, looked at them and went- ya know what these kids would be good for? Weapons! Then spent 13+ years making them ninja! And not cool-movie-good-guy-ninja like their modern version but the kind of ninja thug that caused this mess in the first place!!! It wasn't for self-defense or any kind of nobility or heroism, just straight up revenge. I'm sure the Rat is actually a cool dude and gains some complexity as the story goes on, but my god I can see why so many versions of him kinda suck as a parent. It's baked into his og character.
And as usual, the less said about what happened with Tang Shen the better. I will always say the woman deserves better until she gets it. I know this was originally a parody/one-shot wink-and-nudge towards Daredevil, so not complaining about it much. There's only so many pages to work with, and ultimately the backstory was just an excuse for weird Turtle Ninja violence. But also, it's weird to me that Shen apparently couldn't defend herself? She had to be part of the Foot Clan right? Like they wouldn't just let their ninja court whoever they wanted outside the clan right??? Nagi and Saki had a whole ass family that was apparently happy to help mold Saki into the Shredder. Like, they can't just not know right?? It wasn't like Yoshi and Nagi were going to a high school during the day, then Ninja Cram School at night. It's nuts to me that neither of them could defend themselves, but I suppose that's how fridging works.
I think if that had been it, it'd just be a fun one-shot by itself. It's kind of amazing to me that you can feel the echoes of this one comic from so long ago throughout the entire franchise and it's many iterations. The Turtles themselves are all kinda same-y in the One-Shot, but at the same time you can see very small seeds of the characters they would become being planted. Leo being the leader, obviously- it's his voice narrating a majority of the story, he's the one who reports their success back to Splinter, he's the one who rallies the others against Shredder, he gets the final stinger in. Raph gets to be the one to deliver the challenge to Shredder and says that he loves the night air, and Leo earlier notes Raph's love of fighting.
#tmnt#i started writing this a long time ago and have since kept reading the original turtle run#and wow its a lot#i dont remember all the rest of my impressions at the time#but it seems a shame to just delete this draft when i put in so much effort#so here it is#posted#i think i was gonna add something about Mikey being the tired one#boy cant catch a break even in his first outing#and don having the least distinct character between the four#but that's all i can think of#enjoy my mad rambling
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【character analysis ― douma】
✎ just wanna start this by saying this is sort of both an analysis but also my own personal portrayal on douma’s character based on what we see from canon, so it definitely has a lot of my own opinions on it. & and it also sort of shows how i plan to write him if/when i get requests for him. you don’t have to agree with any of my thoughts but ya know i wanted to share them since douma is my fave character!
✘ warnings before you read: cults, mental illnesses, mentions of death and trauma, especially childhood trauma (that partially stems from neglect) - also not so much a warning but this is very long and obviously contains manga spoilers.
⇢ let’s be completely honest here, douma is an extremely complex character. and while we know a lot about him, at the same time, it’s almost like we know barely anything. we don’t really know an extreme amount of what goes through his head, but it’s kind of just assumed he’s a completely emotionless character, usually stated to be a psychopath because of this.
⇢ i really, really urge anyone labeling a character with a mental illness to do research on it before even considering to use the term, i should mention. and it’s very important to mention mental illnesses are very different to how they effect each person. but from what i understand, both psychopaths and sociopaths (just in case that term gets thrown around too) feel emotions, just very differently to how someone not suffering from the mental illness does. now since i don’t have either illness i’m not gonna say douma is either one, as i personally don’t feel comfortable diagnosing characters with mental illnesses i don’t have or haven’t very clearly been stated they have in canon, but it’s very important to have a very clear understanding of those illnesses if you’re gonna say douma is one.
⇢ but regardless of how you see douma mental illness wise, i personally think he does have emotions, they’re just obviously not as clear as others due to his upbringing. and we do see he has emotions as a kid, shown very clearly by him crying due to everything these grown adults were piling on to him.
⇢ he’s very obviously upset. and why wouldn’t he be? to hear such things from adults day in and day out as a child, being expected to be the one to solve their problems? it’s stressful. it eventually leads up to what we see of his parents death. he’s not upset. he doesn’t really feel any sadness for the two. but that can be explained.
⇢ his parents never acted as parents to him. from the moment of his birth douma was just an object for them to create this cult. i don’t really know what they wanted from it: money? fame? who knows. but it doesn’t really matter. douma was just something for them to use in order to gain what they wanted. even if they did genuinely believe he was a special child, their actions sure didn’t show that. and while douma said that he felt sad they believed he was special, douma was a child. his parents had no reason to show their genuine intentions to him, so we’ll never really know what they thought. but as i said, they didn’t seem to care much how messed up he became as long their cult was in place. douma never had a chance to live a normal childhood, he was placed on a high pedestal from birth and never got to be child. never got to really understand things he should understand. he couldn’t understand actual genuine love from his parents or if he actually loved him. sure, he could feel things such as happiness and love and all of that, but if he did feel it, how could you ever expect him to know? he was in such a constant horrible state, how would he ever know how positive emotions even felt?
⇢ to go back to his parents deaths for a second, even if he didn’t feel anything, it didn’t mean it didn’t cause him any suffering. he was a child, that sort of thing you don’t come out from without trauma. especially since he saw it happened with own eyes. and that probably significantly worsened his already poor mental state. but that also means he was raised from that moment by the cult, and his chance of every coming out okay was straight up zero. let’s be real, the only reason douma has any sort of hold over the cult is because he is their object of worship. they didn’t treat him like a child or even a human being. he was nothing more than someone for them to worship and believe in that they would be blessed. of course, it’s a cult, so most of these people are victims much like douma himself, but the fact there had to be people at the top that were raising him and used him to accomplish their own goals. to use his influence as they saw fit.
⇢ and it was never ending cycle, he never got out of it. all he did was learn to keep the cycle going since he couldn’t simply just leave. and maybe there were moments where he thought himself to be happy due to having so many people worship him, but it wasn’t true happiness.
⇢ maybe the first bit of happiness he got was from being a demon and getting to interact with other demons? unclear since it’s not like we really saw it. but it was different. it was a small crack in the cycle. but those demons all ended up hating him due to his attitude, that despite no one liking he still kept up. why? why didn’t he just act in a way to make others like him?
⇢ maybe it’s a reach, but to me personally, it’s a mixture of how he desired to be - carefree without any troubles - mixed with how he imagined a child to act. like i said, he had basically no childhood, and it’s not uncommon for those who never get to experience a proper childhood to act more childlike later on to my understanding. he even uses terms like “bully” to describe people much like a child would.
⇢ however, this brings me to what i truly believe was one of the few happy times in douma’s life: kotoha.
⇢ i don’t think he realized it himself, because why would he? but he cared for a lot more than one would believe capable for him. i’m not sure if i would call it romantic or purely platonic, but kotoha was genuinely important to him. i mean, what purpose would he ever have to say he didn’t plan to hurt her? he wanted to keep that small bit of happiness in his life, maybe in somewhere deep in his heart he even believed they could be their own happy little family to break this never ending tragic cycle he went through.
⇢ but he lost that happiness. she grew scared of him and basically hated him in his eyes upon finding out the truth. and the cycle of tragedy continued once again.
⇢ and to really come to my last point: we’ve seen douma mad.
⇢ and i suppose some could write this scene off as him continuing to be emotionless, but it doesn’t explain the way it’s drawn. the shading on his face that is usually used to show anger. or why he would ever really care about what kanao said in the first place if it was actually true and it didn’t hurt him in some way. the reality is douma does many things that can’t be explained for someone who supposedly has no emotions. and a lot of these details about his character are more subtle, so maybe they mean nothing at all at the end of the day, but in my personal opinion this is how i interpret them.
✎ but that’s really how i see douma, another demon with an extremely tragic story, but one that doesn’t come to light just how tragic until you think more on it. and that is how i do plan to portray him when writing for him personally! maybe i’ll do this more for other characters at some point, but he was the one i wanted to talk about the most since i just have so many thoughts on douma.
#demon slayer#kimetsu no yaiba#douma#kny#kny douma#doma#kny doma#demon slayer douma#demon slayer doma#character analysis#demon slayer spoilers#kny spoilers
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//minor spoilers for marius character story chapter 2!!! and luke's chapter 2 as well oops
i was going to reblog this onto the moron post i made in the early hours of this morning but it quickly grew way beyond my original intentions, so im annexing it. i promise there's a funny conclusion just give it a little time !! why are there so many words ;-;
that post came about because i was thinking about nxx group dynamics, particularly marius (BIG SURPRISE LOL) and how from what we know of him he doesnt seem to have many close friends. if any. his schedule is incredibly packed from school, running pax, nxx investigations, and his own art, and we know he isn't getting enough sleep, (yknow what zak made a great post analyzing the boys schedules here ya go) to the point that he considers giving up art to make time for his other responsibilities. there's no way he has a social life - i'm sure he did, but it would have been the first thing to go, to make room for everything else in his life. every mention of him attending a social event, iirc, has been directly related to some kind of business venture or obligation, unless he's hanging out with mc, who seems to be the only person he's able (or willing) to make that kind of time for.
which is something he has in common with luke, it seems. lol.
IM PUTTING IN A READMORE THIS POST IS TOO DANG LONG LOL
back to marius. i need to do some more research on the timeline, but my understanding is that he was studying overseas and got called back when giann went missing, one or two years ago? to run pax. (which is the official story, more likely to me is that it was completely voluntary as he wanted to look into his brother's disappearance - was he involved with the nxx before then? had he already met artem and vyn, or no? if anyone knows the answers to these questions please please tell me). so in all likelihood he's left his entire social circle in florence, come back to hang out in an office all day, and then go sit in a meeting with vyn, his tutor, and artem, who is eight years older than him. i'm sure normally they get along just fine, but when does marius get to be a kid? when does he mess around with people his own age? he doesnt.
enter mc, who is much closer to him in age, and who he doesn't hesitate to joke around with. she must be a huge relief to him. and he met her right before being accused of murder. can he not rest??
pivot. we're talking about luke now. it goes without saying that luke is, has been, and will be going through some pretty heavy shit, and mc is simultaneously a huge reprieve from that and a bludgeon that he uses to destroy himself emotionally at every single opportunity. the whiplash is insane he's like "haha this is great i'm in love with you and you are my best friend and i am going to die forever changing the trajectory of your life, hurting you and that's unforgivable and i should stay away from you but i can't because i'm a terrible selfish person- haha what's that? no i'm fine! how are you?" i hate him.
yeah so then it's like when does luke get a break? huh? we know he has aaron, who is really good for him and helping him work through his stuff, but his stuff is irreparably tied to his complex feelings about mc and his own mortality etc, etc, and also aaron is literally his doctor. every single one of their conversations is like "luke, try harder" "no. im gonna die soon." "you will with that attitude i will FIX YOU MYSELF, STOP BEING LIKE THIS." "..... still got that expiry date tho" like even the person who is arguably the best for luke's mental state, actually understands what is going on with him and is actively trying to help him at every opportunity to the point of literally robbing him and sending him on a.. scavenger hunt.... aaron what are you doing
luke literally cannot escape his issues. marius cannot escape his work. i think they should, (after spending enough time around each other to kind of figure each other out, become immune to the other's specific brand of annoying, stop being jealous at how effortlessly close the other is to mc- look it might take a little time) be friends, and find that kind of respite in each other, where their other obligations just aren't even relevant and they can just kind of let the facade fall away and do whatever. they're closer in age and they both need more time to be young and impulsive and have other people who they can do that with.
i think they should be stupid young men who do stupid things. they roughhouse. they both like... extreme sports? i think? they drink together. marius, who knows the perfect amount of wine to drink to get just tipsy enough at a work function. luke, who knows where to buy the best, cheapest beer. swapping beverages and immediately getting piss drunk and calling mc together to tell her that shes missing out, she should have come with them, boo, and its four in the morning and she only picks up because she woke up early to add six pages to a report thats due on artems desk at seven, and she still pretends to get annoyed at them but shes really just happy to see them getting along.
vyn, luke, and marius being left alone in the nxx meeting room for some reason. by the end of it, the table is broken clean in two. luke and marius both blame vyn, who asserts that he never touched that table, but doesn't directly disagree with them and offers to buy a new one. (HE'S SO OMINOUS....)
the new table has wheels so when marius and mc get to a meeting early, he tries to lean on it while he's flirting and ends up on his ass. he sprawls out on the floor and tries to keep going as though this was totally intentional (because mc is laughing and its worth it), but of course luke walks in and he gets soooo embarrassed.
let them be morons!!!
#i'm sobbing why is this post so long why did it have to get so sad to get to the point i was trying to make..#tears of themis#marius von hagen#luke pearce#xia yan#lu jinghe#homepost#marius/luke#sure why not id be cool with that!!
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How would you rank the Pokémon Villian leaders from least favorite to favorite
(Feel free to include the Orre games)
I actually haven’t played the Orre games (YET... though I very much want to) So I’ll just rank all the team leaders from the main series 👌
Also I’ll give Rose an honorable mention since I haven’t finished SWSH yet and so I don’t really have a full sense of his plan. I do think he is delightful so far, though. Love his energy.
Another honorable mention is Colress, he’s not a team leader, he’s more of a high-ranking admin, but I still want to come out and say that he is wonderful and I love him a lot.
SO here’s the actual list, from least favorite to most favorite: (under the cut because this gets long)
Lysandre: Poor Lysandre...it kills me because I think he had so much potential as a villain, but his scheme is honestly really forgettable to me despite him having a really cool design and aesthetic. I love the orange and black color pallet, but it can’t really save him from being kind of an underwhelming villain to me. (Honestly, I think the entire X and Y plot had so much missed potential but I’ll probably save that for a different post some other time.)
Giovanni: Now from here on out, I actually really like all of these villains so it was a bit tricky to order them :’) But Giovanni is a really good team leader, and one of the scarier ones I think. Team Rocket is really threatening and shows that Gio really just cares about money, even when he has to hurt people or Pokémon to get it. His dynamic with his son Silver is really heart-wrenching and his involvement with the Mewtwo project is so despicable. And his role as the last Gym Leader is definitely one of the best plot twists in all of gaming. He’s intimidating, he’s ruthless, he’s honestly really great.
Lusamine: Yeah, I’ll include the Aether foundation president here despite not being a “team” she is the main antagonist of SM/USUM. And she is a delightfully cruel one too. She’s so self-absorbed that she had no problem pushing her own family away, including her two children who she practically disowns because they’re not “beautiful” enough for her. She’s honestly so despicable, but somehow manages to still be such a fascinating antagonist whose actions really did hurt me while playing the game. And bonus points because she has an awesome fusion with the Ultra Beast and it really shook me to my core when I first played. Her story (and honestly the whole plot of this game as a whole) is so rich and deep and underrated imo.
Archie and Maxie: I’ll put these two together since in the context of the games they’re mostly the same just a different coat of paint (ORAS made them a lot more individualized though, which is really nice and appreciated ) but they were the ones to kick off the “Harness the power of the ancient legendary Pokémon to accomplish my goals” series of plotlines, and though I think theirs is a bit more underwhelming than the other goals of leaders I’ll talk about soon, I do think it’s super iconic. They’re also one of the few leaders to actually show remorse for their actions and want to stop the mess they created. I don’t think I can pick a favorite between the two, they’re both very enjoyable in their own ways. I also love their rivalry and how they tend to dig at each other from time to time, it’s really entertaining.
Guzma: GOSH I adore this boi, he is SO delightful. Despite him not really being “evil” per se, he does have a good amount of chaotic energy and he just gives me a great big smile whenever he comes into the scene. I love how he is such a softie deep down, adopting all these misfits to be a part of his team and clearly considering them to be like a big family. They’re like a canon found family and you have no idea just how much pure joy that gives me. He’s also probably the most quotable of all the villains, giving us gems such as “It’s ya boi, Guzma” and “Y’all are stupid!”. He’s honestly such an absolute delight and I love him so much.
Cyrus: So Cyrus is one of the villains I only recently started to appreciate once I started getting back into replaying the main series and realizing just how deep his character goes. Game Freak gave this man a tragic backstory and you know I had to go and dig into it as much as I could. You can learn so much about him just by reading in between the lines of how he talks and how others talk about him. He’s sad, lonely, cold-hearted and wants to create a world lacking in spirit so that no one has to ever feel the pain of sadness ever again. But by doing that, he is getting rid of all emotions, even the positive ones. So he’s really willing to stop feeling happy if it means he won’t get to feel sadness anymore either. It’s insane and really something that stands out to people once they grow up. I know I certainly didn’t realize this as a kid. I just really feel for him and want him to be happy,,,
Ghetsis: And finally we arrive at my absolute favorite evil team leader, and the one probably no one expected! I hate him so much, and I think that’s why he's just so great. His writing makes him so devious, so twisted and terrifying that it really makes me feel so strongly about the already genius story of BW. He is admittedly one of those villains that’s mostly evil for evil’s sake and I wouldn’t go so far as to say he’s as complex as Cyrus. But darn it, I can’t feel anything but absolute loathing for this man and his twisted ambitions, the way he raised a child to be nothing more than his human puppet...the way he manipulated the whole region to nearly go against us and separate humans and Pokémon from each other for good... the way he was so close to actually accomplishing his goals...the way he was so bitter about losing to the hero of BW that he actually goes out of his way to try and murder the hero of BW2...this man is just absolutely insane and probably the most terrifying villain Pokémon has to date and I will always get such enjoyment out of beating the crap out of him whenever I go and replay BW.
WHEW this took me nearly a whole hour and a half to write, hope you enjoyed my ramblings :,)
#spoiler territory if yall havent played all the games yet#just a warning#ask#skibot99#pokemon#not art#long post#flare leader lysandre#plasma leader ghetsis#aqua leader archie#magma leader maxie#galactic leader cyrus#aether foundation president lusamine#skull leader guzma#rocket leader giovanni
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Lost boys backstorys
I made a post while ago on my ideas of the boys past but now I want to update it. I just want you to know I’m still a firm Prequel lover/follower however we don’t get much info on the boys Pre 1906, so that’s what this is for! However personally I would have had more Max so this is going to be both pre 1906 but also include relationship with Max a bit.
I am also including my personal ideas on Last names and age. However I am under the idea that they wouldn’t know/take their last name seriously if the did know it cause- ya know. Orphans. This is going to be lengthy and I’m going to pin it, not just because I want it seen but also to remind myself in fic writing (when I don’t follow these ideas in a fic it’s gonna be Marked as Au- as I’ll probably be messing around with a different past.)
I’ll be doing appearance but only physical as there’s some stylistic changes. For clothing? Honestly so thinking workers clothes/cowboy esc
Also! Their stories are all going to kinda intertwine so I’d there’s not enough info under one theirs a solid chance there’ll be more for them under someone else’s!
David Hardy-
Age(as of 1906): 19
Born: 1887
Appearance: Average height, his hair a dirty blond- near reddish and is around shoulder length. Bearded. (Think doc but with slightly updated clothing)
Backstory:
David Is the only of the boys to grow up with at least one of his parents, living with his mother until her death when he was around 7. They lived in a decent, though cramped little space in San Francisco, by the docks. His father worked on and off- a not so stable style ending in him getting involved in not doing saviory things - getting arrested. His mother worked as a washerwoman. David worked the streets awhile, as a young child now left alone, he learned to pickpocket and live off what he could manage. It was around this time he had found Marko- doing the same thing he was - though arguably less effectively do to his more sporadic nature. At around age 10 the two became extremely close and rather inseparable, Marko even looking up to him despite being the older of the pair. However david wasn’t one to living completely criminal like... he did NOT want to be his father, which lead him to not drinking , EVER. (Even as a vampire he still doesn’t do alcohol.) he poked towards more honest work, also forcing Marko into doing the same , which he wasn’t exactly thrilled about- but did anyway. Tried. David did a lot of work on the docks, odd jobs and stuff like that- but it never paid even half as good as nabbing a wallet or cheating at cards. He wouldn’t be his father- he’d be better- better then all the nobody’s. More level headed then Marko though  ambitious, big headed and still wildly child like- eventually Paul , Dwayne and Jasper joining the pair. Well now, David had himself a full on gang. Never robbery, not that far. The group pickpocketed , cheated at any sort of game or match, that sort of thing... they were still young after all. Smart enough not to go wild like some famous bandit (Though David will admit to his slight admiration of Billy the kid.). He’s a quick learner, and when he learns something- he learns it well- becomes a damn near expert. When he is good at something he is good at it. He is the leader out of the groups mutual respect towards him , quick thinker. Notable flaws: Huge ego, hopeless romantic.
Marko Connelly-
Age(as of 1906): 20
Born: 1886
Appearance: on the shorter side, golden - darker brown hair in this fluff of ringlets it’s long about just past his shoulder blades and typically tied back. Usually dirty somehow (Think Poli but with longer hair and updated clothing)
Backstory:
Born to a rich family , one of those who moved from east to west and actually did make it big. He was a pretty little thing, more a doll to his mother then particularly a child- only taken from Nanny to be dotted over or photos taken. However around the age of 3 or 4 things had tipped, scandal! Missing. That is what the newspapers said anyway he was found missing- was it that he was given away? Or stolen? He was never particularly a child to be quite or sit still or anything such as that... so who is to say? Marko doesn’t remember a lick of that either way as he was far far to young for it but he does remember being alone. This is how he had grown his attachment to birds, they always stuck around. He grew comfortable with being alone, having himself to depend on, getting good at grabbing what he needs- A mansion is stark contrast to dirty winding alleyways. He was always cursed with his looks- even filth covered at 6 he could make sad eyes and tend to swindle whatever he wanted... but he wasn’t completely quick. He’d get in trouble, his face memorable he could rarely pass the same trick again. At 11 David came across him, the two started working and living together (that is where they could find a place to sleep.) he sort of gained this complex. He felt he owed David , in some strange sense he became attached at the hip- a helper, a second- almost servant like the guy had saved his life and he is now the others. It didn’t help that at a young age, Marko had developed what was come to be understood as a deep crush- at times as teens this was reciprocated. As loyal and loving as he was to the other male he wasn’t nearly as cautious, as rule following... he had come to despise authority, to despise the fancy, the rich all of the crowd. He was never sure why. Even regular work got on his hate list... but he gave in and would try to do a normal amount pf work.. it never really worked as there was something, how he would sass, how he looked or smelled or spoke (neither him nor David really spoke ‘proper’ English - meaning no slang or accent). Around when Paul came things started to shift in the group, more mouths- more work and more thinking. Oh yea David and his thinking. Marko is a bit hostile right off the bat when it comes to people he doesn’t know, eventually he cracks and will be more loyal to you then to anyone you’d ever know. He opened up to Paul, a lot sooner then he would have thought the guy was funny and sweet - lil stupid too. David had this grand idea of a little gang, naturally Marko was all for it because illegal activity is fun- it was like a game to him. A liked stealing from pockets and playing distraction for David, as time grew he began to hate how young and gentle his face appeared to be. He LOATHED absolutely appalled the pity glances he would get, the hand outs the whole “oh you poor fragile little dear 🥺” he hated being babied and still does. He hated the stares he got on the opposite direction ... at first, it was funny, it was nice to be wanted in that sense rather then some baby. However... it grew creepy, it wasn’t women or a fella his age...it was more the gaze of older men. Marko detested it so much- he KNEW he’s seen what some of the guys... even younger then him ended up doing- he could see the occasional look in david’s eye. No he would never really consider....no. Paul was more his shoulder to cry on, someone to go to , to ramble to to speak with and just be with. The two were touchy, always leaning against eachother or grabbing their arms, laughing or sleeping or- eventually it became more then casual, it was serious. The two started ‘dating’ at some point- none of them were ever serious on titles but it was good to put a word to it.
Paul campbell-
Age (as of 1906) : 18
Born: 1888
Appearance: tall and lengthy, he has a mole on his left cheek, he has stubble/shadow opposed to a beard. He’s also usually dirty, dirty blond , long hair think Buffalo bill with volume and his hairline not receding
Backstory:
Grew up in a orphanage, hundreds of kids all stuffed together into a few rooms, often sharing beds and everything else. He was never a still child, he would always figit and move and shift - whenever he’s supposed to be quite or still like lessons or Mass he just couldn’t. This - got him most of the attention from the mistresses and overseers- much more quick to slap then to explain... he was docile , quick to flinch and try and stop. Never worked well. Once you get to 7-8ish you work if not adopted by a decent age. Sweeping, factory work he tried it all. He was particularly desensitized to violence at a extremely young age while working in a textile factory- he’s seen a kids arm come clean off. Terror turns to fascination eventually. At some point he’d stopped returning at night finding David and Marko at 15, he started hanging with them- it was safer in numbers that sort of thing- Paul could read a bit , David could write a bit- the three worked it out together. always so distracted- the others learned right off the bat he wasn’t built for pick pocketing no matter how hard he begged about it. Instead he’d do real jobs- sweeping , fighting, placing crooked bets that sort of thing. He always complains. A massive softie since he was young, Paul can’t quite handle being on his own- he’s used to having at least one other person around him at all times causing him to get quite hooked onto the other boys. He hovers around the same places. He is also a fan of dancing- Paul- is music obsessed the moment he heard the first noise of any sort of music he was hooked. He is one about fun- being restrained from it for so long as a child- always to sit out and watch or to think about whatever he did.. oh. Dancing, drinking, drugs, clubs, all of it is his kind of deal- he would drag the others with him when they had a bit of extra cash to deal with. Dwayne and his brother, when they joined on he was instantly accepting, unlike Marko he didn’t have the deep seeded trust issues, he was immediately touchy and happy to share a joke or a comment no matter the glares. He is the one to get Dwayne to lighten up a little bit, to smile he loves to see that smile :). He got around to dating Marko, when they finally put a label on it he was really giddy about it, making jokes and comments- he adores the little names like ‘sweetheart’ or ‘bo’ - he eventually gets around to just plain ‘sugar’ . Marko is the one who really entertains Paul’s love for dancing, the two of them trying to get the others to do something lighten up- eventually their pawing would bare fruit. Paul makes the best out of the worst situation, even if they end up sleeping on the beach more often then not- he somehow makes it seam alright. Except that one time he had gotten sand in Dwayne’s eye and all hell broke lose. He is the current youngest member of the group after Jaspers passing.
Dwayne Maher
Age (as of 1906) : 22
Born: 1884
Appearance: Tall, muscular , tanned(I will establish this now but Dwayne is Native American.) long Black hair with burnet highlights, reaches half down his back.
Backstory:
Born out more Midwest unlike the others he was not born in San Francisco, eldest son of a decent sized family of four kids. Do to conflict he and his younger brother skipped town, skipped state and fled to California.. better options you know?. He’s strong built, hard working and good with his hands though, rather playful most of the time. He looks after his younger brother closely, when there is work they work the same place, when there is not they both still do the same. Quickly took to David and the gang , having a tight knit bond with each of them. He was sort of the muscle - if there was trouble, he knew how to fight and it would likely work better then the knives the boys carried around or the gun David could barely shoot. It was Paul who got him to open up more, about himself and just to speak in general, he’s much more under his breath and jokingly commenting then he is saying something out loud- however if he dislikes something or thinks it stupid you WILL know it. Like David he carries the occasional thought of caution, however he’s not nearly as quick to worry. Maher is not his actual last name , nor does he ever mention it- he simply uses this one when it’s needed as some sort of identification or document. He’s surprisingly good at money, he ends up counting with David and is better at budgeting no matter how he may want or need something. He doesn’t speak on his past as he tries to make it seam he has little of one, he likes to make things mysterious he finds it amusing.
Jasper Maher-
Age (as of 1906) : 16
Born: 1890
Died: 1906
Appearance: shoulder length black hair, typically tied back and braided , tanned, string bean.
Backstory:
The younger brother of Dwayne who is much much more open on how he grew up, casually mentioning things he learned from his parents of his brother (he doesn’t remember his parents that much.) young hot shot sort of kid who’d much rather have action then he would some serious job, loud, energy filled and one for violence- however he’s surprisingly sweet. He often got himself and his brother into trouble. He was a quick and fast young child who grew surprisingly closest with Marko, the two having a habit for breaking every possible rule they could manage together. Their close friendship lead to Marko naming one of his birds after Jasper long after his passing.
Max-
Unknown age but he is seen as extremely old and powerful
Relationship with the boys:
After finding them he has decided to take them under his metaphorical and physical wing, acting as a sort of guardian. Food, clothing, shelter, he was everything the boys didn’t have and was surprisingly inviting in the beginning. ‘I do this for you, you on occasion do this for me’ sort of deal. He wasn’t a leader so much as he was a usual figure, the boys knew and understood him to be above them... so they followed you know? The whole new vampirism thing and the clueless kids- he had to explain and show nearly everything... especially to David, he wasn’t so much harsh to him as he was strict- more of a lead by example sort. Honestly he was father like in a strange sense- that someone is almost like a parent but very much your boss. See... with Max’s strength, there’s this almost automatic level of control- you can’t say no to him. You literally can’t not do what he asks (some supernatural level messing-). There’s something dark about him, in him that the boys still don’t understand in the 80s- but it scares them. It’s strange, it feels unlike him... he seams just like a Dorky , sweet man until...
Some random thoughts that don’t really fit anything
The boys are explicitly religious, past what you’d hear in passing or remember from growing up. Saying “oh god” and respecting religious officials are about what you’ll get
Whoopsies! This was a extremely long post lmao. Sorry for the long read but I could go on and on about them this was just a small blurb to all of it. If you ever wanna hear more do tell me. Also tell me if I should add tw for anything as I know I got a little dark at some points.
#the lost boys#lost boys 1987#lost boys#tlb#the lost boys 1987#the lost boys prequel#lost boys prequel#the lost boys the beginning#lost boys the beginning#1906 boys#1906 david#david the lost boys#marko the lost boys#paul the lost boys#dwayne the lost boys#jasper the lost boys#max the lost boys#backstory Headcannons#whoops#parko#marko/paul
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White Tulips - a JunJin fanfic 2/3
Full Story: Part 1, Part 3
Hello Everyone! I hope you are all happy and healthy. Part 2 of my Junjin fanfic is finally up. Thank you so much to the beautiful and wonderful people who liked my fanfic. I am so sorry I have not been responding to your lovely comments. I had exams so I was really busy but I will get to them now. It took me a long time to post this next part because I wanted to finish both Part 2 and 3. I’ll be posting the other part too once I’ve proofread everything
As always, this chapter is dedicated to the Shooters GC (which I haven’t checked in so long, I’m so sorry) 🙈 🙈
Please do be warned, this does get a little dark. But it will pay off in Part 3, I promise.
Pairing: Kang Sujin x Han Seojun
Romantic Trope: Haters to friends to lovers
Word Count: 13.5k
Rating: T
TRIGGER WARNING: Some of the themes in this story are a little dark, specifically in section iii. Please be warned. I’ve added a summary for section iii in section iv so you can skip it if needed.
PART 2
i.
They both spoke at the same time.
“Ya Kang Sujin…”
“Ya Han Seojun…”
“What the hell happened?”
Seojun had been in a strange state of mind all day. First it was waking up in the enemy’s bed, but that part he had completely blocked out. Then it was the massive hangover, the effects of which he was still reeling from. On top of that he had received a scolding for being late to practice, which caused him to be late to his commercial shoot, which caused him to be late for his recording session which was when he had been informed about his scandal.
Seojun normally didn’t care for rumors that spread about him. He relied on his performance to speak for itself; the people online with their uninformed opinions didn’t matter.
“But why did it have to be her?!” He had groaned when he first read the articles. But then he asked himself seriously, “Why did it have to be her?”
It all seemed too convenient. Additionally, she had been the one to drag him for drinks and then back to her apartment.
Was this another one of her schemes? What would she gain from doing this? Maybe it was because he was on to her and could see the truth about her and now she wanted him gone. Yes, it must have been that. Or was it not? Was his theory too farfetched? Maybe he was being too harsh. Maybe he was misunderstanding the situation.
Seojun felt conflicted. On the one hand, it would have been so easy to just blame Sujin and keep on hating her like he wanted to. On the other hand, he could hear Suho in his head, warning him about being too judgmental. Seojun normally trusted his instincts with everything but this time his own instincts were confused. Should be giving Sujin the benefit of the doubt?
Seojun knew that if he needed answers, he would need to go to the source.
“What the hell happened?” They both asked each other at the same time but neither had the answer.
“How the hell would I know? It was your apartment.”
“The pictures were obviously taken by someone was obsessed with you.” Sujin fumed.
“Are you saying this is my fault?”
“Then are you saying it’s mine?”
“I’m not the one who took us out drinking then brought me back home to her apartment!”
“I’m not the one with the crazy saesangs!”
“My fans are not crazy! They are way better than arrogant women with a princess complex like you!”
“Don’t call me princess.” Sujin said dangerously.
“Or what? You’ll get me drunk and back at your apartment again?”
“Ah shut up, you man-child!” Sujin hung up and Seojun flung his phone across the room where it bounced onto the couch. He was seething.
“Aish!” Seojun kicked the air.
“Did you talk to Sujin?” Heekyung’s calm voice startled Seojun.
“What? Oh, Noona.” Seojun gulped.
“How was she? Was she okay?”
“Umm…” Seojun blinked
“She must have been shaken. Facing something like this can be very upsetting.”
Seojun’s shoulders deflated. “Uh, yeah…” He hadn’t considered that.
“Did she agree to give a statement to help clear up this mess?”
Oh right, I was supposed to ask her…
Heekyung continued, “I do have good news. We’ve found the person who took the photographs. So he won’t be sharing them with anyone else.”
“You have?”
“Yes. It was unfortunate. A photographer happened to be there, just as you were leaving. He actually recognized you from your voice. Talk about having bad luck.”
Seojun frowned. So, it wasn’t Sujin.
“So will Sujin do it? We just need a simple statement. She can release a post on her socials and we’ll take care of the media articles.”
Seojun rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. “Um, I don’t think she’ll agree.” . Especially not after the blaming match that just happened. “Can’t we just clarify things on our end? Not get her involved?”
Heekyung smiled with a twinkle in her eye, “Oh I get it. You don’t want her to feel burdened.”
Seojun could tell what she was implying. “Ah-nee! Its not that at all!” His voice was pitched a little too high.
Heekyung laughed, “I’ve been at this for longer than you, Seojun-ah. You can be straight with me.”
“It’s not like that! I don’t care about Kang Sujin at all!”
But Heekyung wasn’t listening. “Just be careful. Your career has just started. You can’t afford scandals like these. People will turn against you in an instant, you know?”
Seojun swallowed. He knew all too well how people could turn against him in an instant, like the way thy did with Seyeon. But he wanted to believe that he would be able to face them.
“Don’t worry. I’ll be careful.”
Heekyung nodded. “Good. Now I’ll go tell our PR team to release a statement about you and Sujin being just friends.” Seojun nodded gratefully. “I think the fact that you went to school together will help. Hopefully people will buy it when you tell them nothing happened between you two.” Heekyung winked as she walked away.
“It’s not like that!” Seojun called after her.
ii.
The situation subsided as quickly as it had risen. Move Entertainment published their official statement about how it was all a misunderstanding. That Seojun had only been visiting his friend from high school and the fact that the friend was also a mutual with rising online beauty guru Lim Jukyung helped establish the connection. Seojun had been glad that Jukyung had taken those selfies with Sujin with Seojun in the background otherwise people might have just taken the statement as an excuse.
What annoyed Seojun about the whole situation was not his reputation or the online speculation but how everyone else kept teasing him about it. This was made especially worse when they were all gathered around for drinks, including his own squad, Chorong and Co., who were eyeing Sujin with a mixture of adoration—that made them stare at her, and fear—that kept them from talking to her.
“Ooh, Han Seojun you better not drink too much or you’ll end up in Sujin’s apartment again.” Taehoon teased. Seojun gave him the death glare while Sujin made a disgusted face. Everyone else laughed.
“Guys! Don’t be mean.” Jukyung’s voice went unheard among the collective chatter.
“Han Seojun, I can see you’ve been keeping a very close eye on Kang Sujin.” Chorong whispered in his ear. Seojun elbowed his ribs.
“Pay up, Sujin didn’t kill him.” Suho asked from Suah.
“You guys had a bet?” Sujin asked icily. Seojun almost admired the scathing look Sujin gave Suho as she eyed the money being exchanged.
Suho’s and Suah’s hands froze right when they were exchanging the bills.
“No?” Suho said weakly.
“Kang Su, I bet on you okay?” Suah defended.
“Ah is that so? Well then you’re off the hook.”
Suah relaxed while Suho blinked forty times, sweating. “Kang Sujin. It was just a joke okay?”
Sujin just put her hand forward and Suho silently put the money in her hands.
“Wah, just 5 dollars? I’m worth 5 million you know.”
“Sure you are. And I’m the King of England.” Seojun said under his breath. Kang Sujin and her princess complex.
“What was that?” Sujin put her hand to her ear, “I’m sorry. I couldn’t hear you over the apology you owe me.”
“What apology? I owe you nothing.” Seojun retorted, fully aware that he had actually come to this gathering to apologize to Sujin about the scandal and how he had behaved over the phone. That plan had since been abandoned.
For some reason, he could not spit out the three words ‘I am sorry’ to Kang Sujin. No matter how much he wanted to. There was just something about her that irritated him to the point of misbehavior.
Sujin clicked her tongue at Seojun but said nothing. Instead, reaching into her bag, she pulled out a notebook and a pen.
“Here, sign this.” She ordered, pushing the notebook and pen in his face.
“What is it?”
For Kang Sujin, the biggest issue from the scandal had not been the online noteriety and not even the teasing, but the fact that everyone in her office now knew that she was friends with an idol and had demanded that she get them his autographs.
“Its for my friends at work.”
“You have friends?” Seojun said with mock surprise.
“You know I was just as shocked to learn that you have actual fans. I always thought Suho was the one buying all your albums.” Sujin said.
“Of course I have fans! I am super popular you know!” Seojun defended, pulling the lapels of his jacket with pride.
“Yes I’m sure you’re veeeery popular.” Sujin’s words dripped with sarcasm. Seojun’s pride deflated like a balloon. “Just sign. And write something nice too.” She ordered. Seojun quietly picked up the notebook, not because he was nice but because he felt he owed her this much.
“You know my autographs are worth a lot of money, right?”
Sujin made a face. “Just sign the damn thing so that the girls at work stop harassing me about you.”
Seojun smiled as he signed. His fans were awesome. “How many?” He asked.
“Seven.”
He signed seven pages, each with a personalized note.
“Be nice to my fans at work.”
“I’m always nice.”
“Sure you are.” Seojun replied skeptically. He handed Sujin the notebook. “I better not find you selling these online.” He warned.
“I’d rather starve than live off of your autographs.” Sujin bit back.
“Okay, okay! No more fighting!” Jukyung pointed between the two. “Lets all enjoy our drinks in peace.” She looked pointedly at Sujin who pointed her chin at Seojun with a ‘he-started-it’ scowl.
“Han Seo, is it okay for you to meet us in public like this?” Suah asked. They weren’t in the usual private dining area that they frequented when it was just the core group of friends. They were out where everyone could see.
“We can always hang out at our place, if you want.” Suho offered. Seojun quickly shook his head. Seeing Suho and Jukyung together outside was one thing. Seeing how they lived together was quite another. Knowing they lived together was painful enough. He didn’t want even more fuel for his imagination.
“Its no trouble at all.” He put on a smile for Suho who seemed satisfied. But, to his surprise, he found Kang Sujin giving him a strange look. She chuckled to herself but said nothing.
As they all said their goodbyes, Seojun went out the back so that he could leave in privacy. He planned on taking the long route today. A bike ride would help him clear his mind.
“Han Seojun, wait up!”
He stopped just as he was about to put his helmet on. He was surprised to find Sujin there.
“What? Need more autographs?” He asked, cockily smiling.
Sujin made a sickened expression. “Not at all. I just… I had something to say.” She hesitated.
“Well say it.”
She cleared her throat. “It was neither of our faults. The scandal. It wasn’t that it was my building or your fans. It was someone shitty who didn’t respect our privacy. That’s… that’s all I wanted to say.”
Sujin waited for his response. Seojun could feel his face burning. He should have been the one to say all this to her, and yet here she was apologizing to him instead.
“I’msorryforwhathappened.” He said too quickly and too quietly.
“What?”
“Nothing!” Seojun shoved his helmet on to hide his embarrassed face.
“Drive safe.” Sujin said.
“Yeah, whatever.” He rode away.
Kang Sujin was just glad she was able to spit out the words she had been meaning to say all night long. It had been weighing on her ever since they had spoken on the phone. She had promised herself a long time ago that she would try to be a nicer person and for the most part she had accomplished that. But that Han Seojun just had a way of bringing her old self back to the surface. And that bothered her.
It doesn’t matter, she told herself. She would learn how to get along with Han Seojun. It was only a matter of practice. And besides, it wasn’t as if she had to be overtly obvious about it. She just had to tolerate him.
For Jukyung. It’s for Jukyung. She would want us to get along, she lied to herself. The truth was, that Kang Sujin believed that she didn’t have a choice.
Everyone loved Han Seojun, even her best friends who had never paid much attention to him back in high school. It was all because Sujin had been absent for so long. She had missed a huge part of everyone’s lives while Han Seojun had been there for all of it.
Sujin wondered whether, if it came to choosing between her and Seojun, they would choose her. A part of her believed they wouldn’t.
She had made such a mess of things before and left things unresolved for too long. She was certain that things would never go back to the way they had been, not fully anyway. There would always be a part of them that wouldn’t trust her. And there would always be a part of her that would be heavy with guilt.
“Ah-nee-ya.” She reassured herself. “I don’t need to worry about this.”
She was glad that the whole matter of being mistaken as Han Seojun’s girlfriend had been settled. She laughed at the very idea.
“Me and Han Seojun dating. Ah, how funny.”
Sujin had heard of horror stories about how such scandals ruined people’s lives and got them shunned by society. Thank fully, none of that had happened. Her precious peace was safe again.
Sujin could see her future now; a life where she worked hard at her non-profit, where she shared dinners and lunches with her friends and laughed about the old days, where she wasn’t told she wasn’t good enough, where she did what she wanted instead of being forced to do what her father wanted. Yes, Kang Sujin could see her like ahead—a life where she was finally happy.
iii.
At first Sujin thought she was being paranoid. But her co-workers seemed to be acting stand-offish with her, with some outright avoiding her. They weren’t replying to her as enthusiastically they used to and were having hushed conversations that immediately stopped when she approached them. They even made plans for lunch without including her.
“Is something wrong?” Sujin asked one of them.
“Not at all. Shall we get to work?” It sounded more like a snub than reassurance.
Sujin also felt the hairs on her neck rise from time to time, as if she could feel someone watching her. But when she turned around, everyone would look away.
Convincing herself that it was all in her head, Sujin ignored it and went on with her work.
But then it happened again at the convenience store. She heard her name being said in whispers behind her. When she turned, she found a couple of teenagers quickly putting away their phone. Despite the anxiety bubbling in her stomach, Sujin dismissed the incident and went home.
Normally after a long day at work, Sujin would throw her phone away, have dinner while watching TV, shower and go to sleep. But today had been strange and she was feeling out of sorts. She needed a distraction to help her calm down.
So, after a shower, she settled back on her couch with her dinner and her phone. Jukyung normally posted a new make-up tutorial by this day of the week. Sujin loved watching her transform herself from an ordinary looking girl to a stunning beauty, while explaining each step.
To Kang Sujin, Jukyung was an artist who used her face as a canvas. Sujin herself had learned a lot just from watching Jukyung. She was excited about what she would learn today.
Sujin dismissed the dozens of Instagram notifications on her phone. Suah was always tagging her and messaging her about some post or the other. Sujin would get to them later. As Sujin searched for Jukyung’s channel, her Instagram notifications kept dinging. She put it on mute and played the video.
This time, Jukyung was giving a tutorial on American style makeup and how it was different from Korean style. Sujin grinned all the way through the video as Jukyung talked through her tutorial. Sujin scrolled through the comments as she watched.
My beauty Queen! I love you!
I tried your winged liner look and was able to finally do it for myself. Thank you.
I use the exact same foundation but it doesn’t work for my skin. But looks great on you. <3
You didn’t mention the eyeliner you used here. Can you please add it in the description?
This is why I have trust issues. She looks like a completely different person. This is fraud.
Sujin frowned at the last comment. “She looks beautiful either way.” She said angrily aloud as she typed it in, punching the buttons as if she could punch the commentor. Sujin scrolled further.
Who else came here after reading the Soompi article?
This comment had a lot of likes and comments. Maybe Jukyung was getting famous enough to be reported by entertainment websites now. Sujin smiled proudly.
Lim Jukyung, yours is the best makeup channel here!
Saranghae unnie
I was so sad to learn that you were bullied as a kid. So glad that you’ve found success now.
Sujin swallowed thickly. It would always bother her to know that she had once exploited Jukyung’s past bullying for her own gain. The fact that she had once contributed to her bullying would always fuel Sujin’s self hatred. She was just glad that Jukyung had moved on from her past and had become confident in herself. And more so, had found a community online that adored her.
As Sujin scrolled down some more, she noticed that most of the comments were talking about how Jukyung was a survivor of bullying.
“Mwo-ya…”
Wow, I had no idea this girl was so brave. Bravo!!!
I’m a survivor of bullying too. Its nice to know I’m not alone.
I bet her bully is watching this now and regretting what they did.
I don’t watch makeup tutorials. Came here cuz of the bullying scandal. But stayed cuz she is so good.
The last comment made Sujin stop. “Bullying scandal?”
Sujin went to Naver and searched for scandals involving Lim Jukyung. The first few links were Jukyung’s most popular videos but beneath that were a slew of articles from slanderous gossip sites.
Girl from Han Seojun Scandal Turns Out to be a Bully
Online Star Lim Jukyung Gets Involved in Han Seojun Scandal
Han Seojun’s Alleged Girlfriend was a Bully in High School
“What?!” Sujin stood up on her feet in shock. With shaking hands, she went through the articles one by one. Somehow, someone had uncovered the post from her high school community page that had revealed what she had done to Jukyung. Except they had gotten their facts mixed up and had reported that Sujin had been the one to bully Lim Jukyung about her looks.
That girl is so despicable.
Han Seojun is hanging out with a girl like her? I can’t believe it. I actually used to like him.
I bet this girl seduced Oppa. Don’t dislike him!
I am so glad they’re not actually dating.
Her face is so evil. And she’s uglier than Lim Jukyung!
I bet Han Seojun was fooled by her. She feels like the type who uses her looks to manipulate men.
People like her should kill themselves.
Guys! I found her Inssa!
It really is her! This is authentic!
The room began to close in on Sujin. She immediately opened Instagram where her account was flooded with comments and direct messages from people either telling her to kill herself or threatening to kill her.
Her heart was beating so fast it felt like she would throw it up. She was equal parts shaken and angry. So many people were after her but she hated that these people felt they had a right to treat her this way.
Sujin opened up the messages on Instagram and began firing back to her haters, starting with the most recent messages.
Get off of my account before I report you.
No thanks, I’m not going to kill myself.
Threatening me will only get you sued.
You don’t have to follow me if you don’t like me.
“These assholes think they can bully me online? Well, they’ve got another thing coming.” Sujin growled through clenched teeth as she typed away with all her anger.
I did not bully her!
I made a mistake!
I apologized!
People immediately started responding.
You’re not even going to admit your mistake?
OMG! I can’t believe you actually replied!
Are you honestly defending what you did?
You can’t talk like that to me! I’m going to tell everyone you’re a total b****
How can you be so audacious after you bullied someone? Just kill yourself.
Do us all a favor and kill yourself.
Kill yourself.
KILL YOURSELF.
Sujin screamed in frustration and threw her phone away. It smashed into the wall and landed with a sickening thud. Her hands suddenly felt clammy. Clammy and sticky and sweaty and dirty, dirty, dirty. So dirty that they smelled.
She ran into the bathroom and furiously scrubbed her hands clean. Once, twice, three times. No matter how many times she washed or how hard she scrubbed, the dirty stench of the hate she had just received wouldn’t wash off.
Her hands became all red and felt raw and exposed. But she kept on washing till she ran out of soap. She fell to the floor, suddenly weak and exhausted. The cool tiles felt nice and it was then that she noticed how hot she felt.
Calm down. I have to calm down. She breathed in, then out. In, then out. She could hear her heart in her ears. Pounding and pounding. The walls were closing in. The messages on her Instagram suddenly had voices that shouted in her mind.
Kill yourself, kill yourself, kill yourself.
A ringing broke through it all. First Sujin thought it was in her head but no, it was from the living room.
Her cellphone. Lim Jukyung was calling.
How could she face Jukyung? What would she say to her? Wouldn’t Jukyung say the same as everyone else?
Sujin cut the call. Notifications from Instagram were still coming in. She deactivated her account and deleted the app.
Lim Jukyung’s name lit up her phone again.
She turned it off and flopped down on her sofa, head pounding.
Her fragile little hope for a good life was now shattered completely. She could hear her father now. Hear him yell at her that she was useless, that she was pathetic, that she was stupid and inferior. Unable to beat even Lee Suho.
Kill yourself.
Her father had never told her this, but he might as well have. Even now it was his voice saying it over and over in her mind. It was his angry stare she felt on her back.
How would she face people now? People would hate her now that they knew what she had done. And her co-workers…. Of course they knew. That’s why everyone had been acting so strange.
This all felt so cruel and unfair. She had been so good these past couple of years. She didn’t want all of it to just be taken away like this.
But didn’t you do the same thing to Jukyung? Her father’s voice taunted. She was a good person too, wasn’t she? You’re nothing but a piece of trash.
I bet you think that you destroyed Lim Jukyung, Seojun’s voice said, but you’ve only destroyed yourself.
iv.
SUMMARY of iii: Because of the Han Seojun scandal, people find out about the community post that revealed what Sujin had done to Jukyung and people online start thinking that Sujin bullied Jukyung. They harrass her and it becomes a scandal of its own.
It was chaos at Move Entertainment.
“What the hell happened?! You told me you settled this!” The director threw a magazine in Heekyung’s face. Seojun saw this through the glass door and barged in.
“Is that how you treat your employees?” He demanded angrily.
“Get out. Get. Him. Out! Get him out of this company for good measure!”
Heekyung pushed Seojun out before he could do anything else, dragging him as far away as possible. “Don’t be an idiot. You can’t just barge in like that.”
“But he’s being an asshole. Should I just stand around and let you take it?”
“This is the adult world Han Seojun. Actions have consequences here.” Heekyung said reasonably. “And you’re the reason he’s so mad. A bullying scandal is serious. We’ve even publicly acknowledged that you and Sujin are friends. This doesn’t reflect well on you.”
“The articles are lying. Sujin didn’t bully Jukyung in high school. She just—”
“I know exactly what she did. You think I don’t know about what happened to my own sister?” For a brief moment, Heekyung’s professional demeanor slipped into anger. But she recovered quickly. “It infuriates me that my sister’s past is being brought up like this. But I have a job to do and I need you to cooperate with me. Okay?”
Seojun exhaled. “What are we going to do?”
“Nothing. The situation will sort itself out. You will need to keep a low profile, however.”
Seojun exhaled. “Noona, we need to set the record straight. Sujin is—”
“Sujin isn’t represented by Move, you are. None of us here can do anything about what is happening to her.”
Seojun clenched his jaw. “Have you seen what is being said about her?”
Heekyung looked away. “Its not like I enjoy saying this. I’m only telling you what I was told when I made the same request. She’s not represented by us. She’s not our concern.”
“Was Seyeon not your concern either?”
Heekyung had nothing to say to that. “I have to go back in. You stay here, arachi? Don’t do anything rash and…” she yanked Seojun’s phone from his hand.
“Ah!” Seojun tried to get it but Heekyung had the phone out of reach.
“I’m keeping this for now.” She said and left.
Seojun exclaimed in frustration, running his hands through his hair. Despite the animosity he had towards Kang Sujin, this kind of exposure to such vitriol online didn’t sit well with him. Kang Sujin deserved a lot of things, but she didn’t deserve this.
He knew Sujin was tough. But this kind of incident would make anyone crumble. He just hoped she didn’t do anything stupid.
v.
“Sujin-ah. Can you explain your side of things?”
Of course her office had heard about everything. Apparently her past misdeeds were a trending topic online. Her supervisor had called her in as soon as Sujin had shown up.
“Can you tell me what happened?” Her supervisor asked.
Sujin inhaled, “When I was in high school, I fell in love with a boy. But he had a girlfriend… she was a friend of mine. I got jealous… and petty. I published an unflattering video of her on our school’s online community. She had been bullied in her previous school because of her looks. So the video was especially traumatizing to her. I was responsible for what happened in Saebom High, but I wasn’t involved in anything that happened before that.”
Sujin looked at her hands, still red and raw, “I have made up with her since then. I’ve apologized. We’re both friends now. And I’m not a teenager anymore.”
Something stung Sujin’s hand. Water droplets? No, tears. She hadn’t noticed when she had started crying. But she kept her face straight even when the tears didn’t stop. She looked at her supervisor.
“I am ashamed of what I did. If I could take it all back… you have no idea what I would do to take it all back.” Sujin furiously wiped away her tears. She hated crying in front of anyone. “I love working here. I really do.”
Even as she was saying the words, she knew what was coming. Of course her company wouldn’t keep her on. Even non-profits couldn’t afford bad reputations and the fact that Move Entertainment had worked with her company for a lot of benefits hadn’t escaped her notice either.
“Sujin-ah.” Her co-worker said, peeking from the cubicle wall as Sujin packed up her things.
“What?”
“I never thanked you. For getting me Han Seojun’s signature.” The woman said meekly.
Sujin gave a small smile. “You’re welcome.”
The woman handed her a bunch of sticky notes. “These are goodbyes from everyone. We know you’re not getting a farewell party so we thought you should have our thoughts with you.”
Sujin looked down at the brightly colored notes that contained encouraging messages from some of her co-workers. Her dismissal had been so swift that she hadn’t even been given the chance to say anything.
“If its worth anything… I don’t believe any of it.”
Sujin smiled gratefully this time. “Thanks, Chulhee-yah. I appreciate it.”
vi.
Sujin was both grateful and surprised by how much her friends had reached out. Apparently they had showed up to her place multiple times to see if she was okay, given that she was not answering any of her calls. Sadly, Sujin had not been there to receive them. She had gone to her aunt’s place to get away from everything.
That had not proved to be a good idea.
“Have. You. Lost. Your. Mind!!” Each word was punctuated with a smack from a slipper. Her mother, the once elegant and graceful Mrs. Kang, chased her daughter around in the most inelegant and ungraceful manner. Mrs. Kang’s sister tried to save Sujin by stepping in between but Mrs. Kang still managed to get a few whacks in.
“How could you let a boy stay over at your place?!”
“Omma! That’s what you choose to focus on?!”
“Yes! How could you have disgraced your family this way? And not just any boy, an idol? What the hell were you doing with an idol? Come here.”
This was one fight Sujin would never win. Her mother was not a force of reason when she was this angry. And it took a lot for her to get this angry.
Sujin didn’t mind these smacks. They came from a place of love and worry. Eventually her mother calmed down enough to address the other issue with Sujin. She took her daughter in her arms and wailed.
“How could those people be so mean to my daughter?”
“Omma, I can’t breathe.” Her mother smushed Sujin to herself.
“My poor girl. My poor baby girl.”
In the end, Sujin was glad she had come back to her aunt’s place. It gave her the break she had needed. Away from all of the noise of her online haters, Sujin found she could finally breathe. She found great comfort in her mother’s arms and her aunt’s assurances her that everything would be fine.
However, the dread of returning to her normal life still loomed over her head. Sujin felt her throat close up every time she imagined going back to her apartment. Would the people point and laugh at her on the street? Would she be able to live a normal life from now on?
It was strange how deeply all of this had affected her. Even now, as Sujin walked from the grocery store to her aunt’s house, she felt the paranoia that people were talking about her, pointing and laughing, even though they weren’t.
“Sujin-ah.”
And now it felt like they were actually calling out to her.
“Kang Su!”
Sujin turned in surprise, ready to fight whoever had called her. “Who is it?”
“Who do you think? It’s Jukyungie! ” A human mass known as Lim Jukyung ran towards Kang Sujin with arms wide open. The girls hugged each other tightly, Jukyung grinning with her gummy smile while Sujin stood, mouth open in shock.
Not far behind, were Suah and Taehoon.
“Ya Kang Su, at least answer your phone! Do you know how worried I was?” Suah scolded.
Sujin laughed, almost tearing up. She couldn’t believe this was happening. She had feared that her friends would turn away and curse at her after she had avoided them. But here they were, all gathered just for her.
“How’d you find me?” She asked the three. They all turned to Suho who stood there smiling.
“Hey Sujin. Have you been well?”
Of course, Suho knew where her aunt lived.
“What well? You all know what happened.” Sujin replied, not bothering to pretend that she was fine.
“Ya! What have you done to your hands.” Jukyung held up Sujin’s scabby hands with worry.
“It’ll heal.” Sujin smiled. Maybe it was the massive hug she had received, or the fact that her friends had traveled so far away to meet her, but suddenly, Sujin felt relieved. It was as if the entire situation was trivial and that she could see light at the end of the tunnel.
“Of course we know what happened.” Suho replied.
“And we know exactly how to fix it.” Jukyung grinned wider.
vii.
On the screen, in front of a ring light she had set up at her home, Lim Jukyung stood with a gummy smile and a warm welcome.
“Ahn-nyong-se-yo everyone. This is Lim Jukyung here with a new make up tutorial for all of my beautiful viewers. Uh, today I have a new kind of tutorial for you all. But before we begin, there is something that I think has been on all of our minds that needs to be addressed.”
Jukyung motioned to someone standing behind the camera to come forward. Kang Sujin entered the frame awkwardly, not knowing where exactly to look. The way Jukyung had set up her studio for this live event was to have the camera, the mirror with the ring light and her laptop screen facing her so that she could do her make up while also reading the comments. And while Jukyung was used to having all of this equipment focused on her, Sujin was not.
“Introduce yourself.” Jukyung said softly, nudging Sujin with her elbow.
“Ah, yes.” Sujin cleared her throat. “Ahn-nyong-se-yo everyone. I’m Kang Sujin.” She waved robotically while staring in the camera like a deer caught in the headlights.
Jukyung couldn’t help but laugh. “Ya, Kang Su, are you afraid of the camera?”
“Ah-neeeee, it’s just so unnatural.” Sujin quickly countered.
“Don’t worry, the camera doesn’t bite.” Jukyung put an arm around her friend’s waist. “Okay everyone now that my friend Kang Sujin is here we can talk about the recent—”
“Lim Ju, maybe we shouldn’t do this.” Sujin interrupted anxiously.
“Huh? But it’s already live.” Jukyung pointed at the camera.
“What?” Sujin on in panic.
Jukyung continued, “So everyone, as you all may have heard, Sujin and I went to the same high school together. However, before that I attended another high school where I was bullied for my looks. Sujin and I did not know each other back then and she had nothing to do with that part of my life so the allegations that she bullied me are completely false. That was another person and that person is no longer in my life.”
Sujin cut in, “However, it is true that I revealed Jukyung’s past to our school and posted an unflattering video of her online.”
Jukyung nodded, looking serious. “I won’t lie and say it was easy for me to have that happen. But… both of us have changed since then. We have grown up and grown past that time.”
The girls took each other’s hands in solidarity.
Jukyung continued, “I’m not the girl I used to be. Neither is Sujin. And while she did do something wrong… I’ve forgiven her. I would rather remember the good times we shared…” The time that Sujin caught that pervert, the time she helped rescue Jukyung from those kidnappers, the time she helped hide Jukyung’s bare face at the school trip. “There are things that I wish I had done differently too. I wish had been more confident in myself and honest about who I really was. I wish I had stood up for myself earlier. But the past is the past, and I would rather focus on the present.”
“Everyone, I am grateful for all of the love and support you showed to me. I know bullying isn’t something you get over easily and I saw a lot of you comment about the bullying that you suffered. I am grateful you shared your stories with me. I hope we can take this opportunity to help each other heal rather than put someone down.” Jukyung looked at Sujin. “Now you.”
Sujin recited nervously, “Ah. Ahn-nyong-se-yo everyone. I’m Kang Sujin.”
Jukyung giggled. “We’ve done that already.”
“Oh, yes. Um… I uh…” Sujin took a pause to collect herself. “Let me be the first to say that I’m not a nice person—”
“Yah!” Jukyung protested but Sujin carried on.
“But I’m also not the girl who posted that video about her best friend, not anymore. At that time… I was foolish. I let my personal problems cloud my judgement and I took my frustration and anger out on Lim Jukyung. I have regretted doing that every single day since it happened. I am sorry. I understand everyone’s anger towards me. I would be angry too if I heard this about someone else. However, I hope that you all will be able to forgive me, as Jukyung has.”
Sujin ended her speech with an apologetic bow. Jukyung bowed with her. The girls then shared a tearful hug. From the back, Sujin saw Suho give her a thumbs up. Sujin sent him a smile back. The girls parted, wiping their tears.
“Okay! Now that that’s out of the way, we can get on to the real reason why you are on here.” Jukyung clasped her hands together. “Sujin will be assisting me today.”
“Ah, yes.”
“So Kang Su, shall we bring out our model today?” Jukyung asked her with a mischievous gleam in her eye.
The girls nodded conspiratorially before turning to Suho who looked on, confused.
“What? Why are you looking at me like that?”
viii.
“What is it? What are you laughing at?” Chorong asked Seojun as he leaned over his shoulder. They were at Chorong’s place where the boys were goofing off, playing video games and lounging about.
Seojun didn’t hear Chorong’s inquiry through his ear buds and kept on shaking with silent laughter.
“Hey, nobody said anything about me being in the video.” Suho was protesting on Seojun’s phone. Seojun turned up the volume to hear Suho’s annoyed grumbling more clearly. Of course, Seojun was going to make fun of Suho about this afterwards.
“Just sit down, Lee Su, before I get mad.” Sujin commanded.
“That attitude of yours has never worked on me,” Suho replied coolly.
“Come on, Suho-ya. I do your makeup all the time don’t I? It’ll be fine. I promise.” Of course, when Jukyung said this, Suho melted like butter on a hot pan. Sujin rolled her eyes but it was clear that it wasn’t out of spite.
“Okay everyone! Let’s begin with the base and then we’ll work our way up! I am going to keep this look as natural as possible so that its not modifying anything but merely enhancing his features.” Jukyung pushed Suho’s bangs out of his forehead with a giant pink bow shaped clip. Seojun was quick to get a screen shot of it.
“What are Lee Suho and Kang Sujin doing on Jukyung’s channel?” Chorong asked in Seojun’s ear, shocking him. Seojun almost screamed in fear. He pushed away Chorong’s face to watch the video in peace.
In the live video, Jukyung was explaining the differences of applying make up on a guy’s face, versus a girl’s face.
“Sujin-ah. Why don’t you read some of the comments while I’m buffing in his foundation? You have to buff it in for a long time to make it appear natural.” Jukyung told her audience.
Sujin moved towards the camera, blocking Jukyung a little as she read off of her laptop. Her unfiltered face was front and center for the world to see. At this position it looked unflattering, which made Seojun chuckle even more.
Sujin read the comments in a robotic monotone, “Jukyung Unnie, I don’t usually watch make up tutorials. But after today I’m your number one fan.”
“Mwo-ya, this girl has no camera sense.” Seojun said to himself.
“Thank you! I’m your fan too,” Jukyung replied brightly.
“Your looks are always so classy and stylish.”
“Thank you! I’m glad you liked them. Let me know if there are any other looks you’d like to see.”
“Will you do a tutorial on how to wear red lipstick properly?”
“I’m actually planning on doing that soon!”
“Lim Jukyung, you are so beautiful. Marry me please!”
Suho got up to see the screen, “Who asked that?”
“Sit down!” Jukyung pulled him back as he grumbled. “Sorry,” Jukyung said to the camera, “but I’m taken.”
“Are you and Kang Sujin really friends now?” Sujin turned to Jukyung and all Seojun could see was her shiny black hair on screen.
“Dangyunhaji! In fact, if I wasn’t dating Suho, Kang Sujin would be my boyfriend.”
Seojun scoffed, “As if. It would have been me.”
On the live, Sujin laughed, “Is that so? We can still be together though. Have an affair behind Suho’s back.”
“Sure.” Jukyung said casually.
“Yah!” Suho protested.
Both girls giggled.
Suho looked miffed, “Kang Sujin, you’re blocking the view.” He said peevishly.
“Oh sorry. I’ll move.” Sujin circled around the couple to stand behind Jukyung and read the comments over her shoulder.
Jukyung read something on the screen and pointed it to Sujin, “Read that one.”
Sujin hesitantly read, “Kang Sujin, I’m sorry for judging you.” She looked up, “It’s okay. I can be harsh in my judgements too. The key is to try to learn from your past.” Sujin smiled at the camera before turning back to the screen.
“Kang Sujin, you’re pretty.” Sujin recited in her monotone voice. “Yes. I know.” She said without looking up.
“She is also super smart!” Jukyung gushed. “She was one of the top students in class.”
“Could never beat me though.” Suho said smugly, still sore about the affair comment. Both girls turned to Suho and stared. His mouth became small. “Sorry.”
Jukyung went back to explaining her tutorial, slowly performing each step as Suho patiently sat. She made his eyes look bigger and applied a natural lip tint to finish off.
Both girls couldn’t help but gawk at how good Suho look by the end. Jukyung removed the pink blow clip from his hair in a daze.
“How do I look?” He asked Jukyung.
“Too good, Lee Suho.” Sujin clapped. “Too good.”
Jukyung blushed but couldn’t articulate her thoughts. She stuttered, “Uh-ah! Let’s look at the c-c-comments again!”
Suho grinned.
“Lim Jukyung, you were amazing as always!” Sujin read aloud.
“Thank you.” Jukyung bowed.
“Watch the latest and best movies for free at—”
“Sujin that’s just spam.”
“Oh. Right.” Sujin continued, “Lee Suho looks prettier than the both of you.”
The girls’ face fell flat. Suho just looked innocently at the camera. The girls cleared their throats.
“Ah that’s all the time we have!”
“Ah, yes! Time to move on!”
The two pushed Suho out of the frame together.
“I can still be on camera if you—”
“No, I think the people have seen enough of you.” Sujin said while smiling widely at the camera.
Jukyung went wide eyed when she looked into her computer screen. “Ya! This live got 3.3 thousand comments!”
“Daebak. Good job Lim Ju!” The girls grinned, but then Sujin squinted her eyes disapprovingly at something on the screen. “Lim Jukyung, you look so ugly without makeup? Ya, who wrote this comment? User name KimChee23? Why don’t you show yourself to me and then we can see who’s really ugly?”
“Sujin-ah. It’s just a comment.” Jukyung tried to calm her.
“Comments matter too! Otherwise people wouldn’t be writing them! Ya KimChee23 where do you live?”
Seojun laughed out loud as he saw Jukyung try to calm Sujin down on screen.
“So, is everything all settled now?” Chorong asked Seojun.
“I think, yes. Just look at all the comments praising Sujin.”
He was right, the comments section was flooded with statements of Sujin being a brave person for apologizing and changing her bad behavior.
“Great.” Chorong shook his friend’s shoulders. “Now you don’t have to be so troubled about Lim Jukyung.”
“Lim Jukyung? Why would I be troubled about her?”
Chorong was confused. He had not known about the scandal. The matter Chorong had been referring to was Seojun’s theory that Kang was apparently still after Lee Suho.
“I mean... haven’t you been in a bad mood all week because of her?”
“Why bother asking Chorong?” One of the boys said, “You know the answer to all of Seojun’s heartaches is Lim Jukyung.”
Seojun didn’t bother responding. He returned to his phone screen where Jukyung and Kang Sujin were wrapping up the live, waving at the camera with wide smiles. Suho was trying to get back in the frame and Sujin kept pushing his out of it.
“Ooh. Look at how Han Seojun is smiling.”
“Something good must have happened.”
“See! He’s always thinking of Lim Jukyung.”
“No I’m not!” Seojun protested. Quietly, he admitted. “I wasn’t thinking of Lim Jukyung.”
ix.
Han Seojun had arrived at Kang Sujin’s building an hour ago, but for the life of him he could not muster the courage to go up to her apartment.
“I have no reason to see her. So, why should I?” He argued with himself. He paced back and forth, going up the entrance and then going back again, unable to enter.
In his hands, Han Seojun held a beautiful arrangement of white tulips and yellow roses. White tulips as an apology and yellow roses as an offering of friendship. It was his way of apologizing for being a jerk.
After hearing everything she had said on the live event, Seojun had no doubt that Kang Sujin wasn’t who he thought she was. Certainly, if Jukyung and even Suho could trust her, then he could at least give her the benefit of the doubt.
It had felt like a good idea at the time to try to make amends with flowers. But now that he was actually here, at her home, he felt stupid.
What would Kang Sujin say when he showed up at her place? Would she laugh at him and tell him to go to hell? Would she be offended that he just showed up, unannounced? The uncertainly of it all made him anxious.
As he went back down the steps to the building entrance for the thousandth time, Seojun bumped into a lady.
“Oh ma’am. I’m so sorry!”
The woman had been carrying tote bags with plastic containers of food in them. The bags had fallen to the ground but luckily, the containers and the food inside them were unharmed, just a little shaken.
Seojun looked at the woman with an apologetic face. She appeared to be a very dignified lady, as old as his mother. Her hair was up in a chic bun and she wore well fitted, albeit a little worn out, clothes. Her brows were crinkled in disapproval. But upon seeing Seojun, her face softened.
“Are you okay, ma’am?” Seojun asked and his humble words spoken in that rich baritone subsided the woman’s irritation further to the point where she smiled.
“Omo, how can someone be so handsome?”
Seojun beamed. Elders had always loved him. “Ah, thank you.” He responded shyly. “Let me help you carry these.” He took the heavy bags from her, putting the flowers under his arm, careful not to smush them.
“Oh no. I don’t want to bother.”
“It’s no bother at all, ma’am. I insist.” He didn’t let the woman say another word, walking past her into the building. The woman smiled and followed.
“Are you going to visit your girlfriend?” The woman asked, eyeing the flowers.
“A friend. A friend who is a girl.”
“Is that what the youngsters are calling it these days?”
“Ah-nee-heyo. It’s not like that.”
The woman just smiled knowingly. “I’m going to visit a special girl too. My daughter lives in this building.”
They entered the elevator. Seojun asked which floor the woman wanted to go to. “Oh, I’m going to the same floor. Maybe my friend knows your daughter.”
“I’m sure she does. My daughter is a wonderful girl.”
When the lady walked in the same direction as Sujin’s apartment, Seojun said, “Oh. My friend lives this way too. What a coincidence. They might live right next to each other.”
“Then you should come over with your friend. I will cook for you.”
And when the woman stood in front of Sujin’s apartment, Seojun said, “Oh, this is my friend’s apartment. Are they roommates?”
“Young man, is your friend’s name Kang Sujin?”
“Yes, ma’am. How did you know?” Seojun asked, surprised.
The lady patted Seojun’s face, “At least you have good looks.” She punched in Sujin’s passcode and went in. Han Seojun stood outside for a full minute before he connected the dots. And then his eyes went wide.
“Sujin isn’t home yet. Why don’t you wait inside?” Mrs. Kang called out.
“I’m so sorry Mrs. Kang. I didn’t recognize you.” Seojun entered, placing the bags on Sujin’s counter.
“It’s okay, Son. You’ve known Sujin long?”
“I went to Sujin’s school. I knew her through Lee Suho.” He had only seen Sujin’s mother a couple of times at school. But never up close. She had seemed so stuck up like Sujin at the time; with her fur coats and expensive jewelry. Now she seemed like just another lady. Her appearance seemed to have humbled after the divorce.
“Oh Suho! Lovely child. How is he these days? Sujin doesn’t tell me anything.”
“He’s good ma’am.”
Mrs. Kang started lining the containers on the counter. It seemed like too much food for one person.
“Sujinnie never eats properly. She always scolds me for worrying but what can I do? She never takes care of herself.”
Indeed, when Mrs. Kang opened Sujin’s fridge, it was empty save a few water bottles and expired milk that Mrs. Kang threw away.
“And look at you! All skin and bones! It is unfashionable to be healthy these days?”
It was a complaint he had heard from his mother as well. But Seojun had to maintain a lean figure for his job, as he was about to explain to Mrs. Kang.
“Ma’am I actually have to diet beca—”
“I won’t hear it! Sit. I will get you something to eat. I’ve brought more than enough.” Mrs. Kang commanded. Seojun could see where Sujin got her tough exterior from.
“I don’t want to be a bother…”
“Nonesense! It’s no bother at all. Especially not for,” she eyed the bouquet Seojun had placed on the counter, “Sujin’s friend.”
Seojun wanted to protest Mrs. Kang’s assumptions but figured that denying it would only reinforce the idea. He would let Sujin clear up the matter.
“Well if you’re going to cook Mrs. Kang, you might as well let me help.” Seojun often cooked with his mother and was used to being in the kitchen so his culinary prowess impressed Mrs. Kang greatly.
“Your mother must be so proud of you.” Seojun grinned at the compliment. He decided that he liked Mrs. Kang.
Likewise, Mrs. Kang decided that she liked Seojun. She put the flowers he had brought in a vase and brought it to the table. As they cooked, she went on and on about Sujin and her many accomplishments. The woman was very proud of her daughter.
Seojun listened diligently as Mrs. Kang explained how much she was worried about Sujin. The non-profit sector didn’t exactly offer a lucrative career. Not as much being a doctor would have.
“I remember how much she had wanted to be a doctor as a child. Omma, I want to heal everyone, she would tell me. But when her father started pushing her and pushing her… suddenly it was all about ranking number 1, not helping people and her heart just wasn’t in it anymore.” Mrs. Kang lamented. She gave Seojun a considering look. “Has she told you… about her father?”
About the divorce? “Yes. I know.”
Mrs. Kang looked at him tenderly, “You must really be close to my daughter then. She’s a very private girl.”
Seojun didn’t understand why the woman as acting like it was some secret. Everyone knew about Mr. and Mrs. Kang’s separation.
The woman stared into the distance. “If I look back, I can only blame myself. I should have stopped it the first day her father started hitting her. But I was blind. I believed that it would all stop if she got good grades and got into a good university. My husband was always a tough man, but had never been like that to me, you see. I didn’t realize what he was doing to Sujin till it was too late.”
Seojun froze. He felt he had been told something he wasn’t supposed to know.
“And then, she started taking her anger out on other people… it might have been late, but I finally put my foot down. I’m glad my girl is in a better place now.”
Mrs. Kang looked down in remorse. Seojun found it hard to keep looking at her. He suddenly recalled what Sujin had said in Jukyung’s video.
I was foolish. I let my personal problems cloud my judgement and I took my frustration and anger out on Lim Jukyung.
Ah, crap. Seojun thought.
“My daughter is a sensitive girl, despite how strong she appears. I just want to know that she is with people who will care for her, and not hurt her.” Mrs. Kang looked at Seojun meaningfully. He swallowed.
“She is Mrs. Kang. You don’t have to worry.”
The woman pressed his hands gratefully. “You must have heard… about what Sujin was involved in recently.”
Seojun was sure he was going to die today. His heart felt like guilt had wrapped its sharp claws around it and was squeezing tightly.
“Ah. Yes.”
“Don’t believe any of it! My Sujinnie isn’t that kind of girl”
“Ah. Yes.”
“She did go a little astray in school, but what kid doesn’t go through a phase like that? Show me a teenager who has never made a mistake!”
“You’re absolutely right ma’am.” Was all Seojun could say.
“If only I could get my hands on that Han Seojun.” Seojun felt his heart stop. It was then that he realized that he never really introduced himself to Mrs. Kang. “How dare that no good idol take advantage of my daughter? Ah-nee, what kind of a person stays over a girl’s place like that? And doesn’t even help when she gets into trouble because of him?”
Seojun could see his funeral now, his mother crying for him as his friends lined up to regret their loss.
Guys… take care. Please check on my mother for me.
The door chimed as Sujin entered. She stopped in her tracks when she noticed Han Seojun and her mother sitting at a table full of food, waiting for her.
“Ah, Omma why have you come all this way again? Do you really like tiring yourself out so much?” Sujin scolded as she hurriedly put on her indoor slippers.
“Is that any way to greet your mother?” Mrs. Kang scolded back.
Sujin was undeterred. “You know I can always come and visit you and Auntie. Why do you have to come here? And look at all this food! How is this okay for one person? It always goes bad and then I have to throw it out.”
“It goes bad because you don’t eat enough, bad girl! You see what I have to deal with?” Mrs. Kang turned to Seojun who had gone white.
“Ya Han Seojun, what are you doing here?” Sujin asked him.
There was a second of silence where no one spoke. A pin drop could be heard.
“Han Seojun?” Mrs. Kang looked at Seojun. On stage, with makeup on, Seojun looked different. Here, in person, it was difficult to recognize him. But now that his name had been spoken, Mrs. Kang could see the young man whose face had been plastered all over the articles concerning Sujin.
“You… you’re the Han Seojun from the scandal?”
Sujin quickly caught on. “Seojun. Run.”
And then all hell exploded, or rather, one Mrs. Kang. Sujin jumped in her mother’s path as the woman got up with a slipper in her hand. Han Seojun lept off his chair and bowed furiously.
“I am so sorry Mrs. Kang. I am so sorry for all the trouble caused!”
Sujin desperately tried to block her mother’s blows but Mrs. Kang was a formidable woman. She smacked Han Seojun with her slipper.
“Do. You. Have. Any idea. What. Problems. You. Caused!” She punctuated each word with a smack. Seojun, for his part, did not run but rather took it like a man. He was just glad she was beating him with a slipper and not a heel.
“Run! Why aren’t you running?” Sujin asked him as she tried to grab her mother’s wrists.
“Are you protecting him? After everything that happened?”
“I’m really sorry Mrs. Kang.” Seojun said.
“Sorry? What good will an apology do? Will an apology undo the pain you’ve caused?” Her words sounded eerily familiar.
“Ah Omma, stop hitting him! He didn’t do anything. It was my fault. It was all my idea.”
Mrs. Kang stopped. “What?”
And thus, it became Kang Sujin’s turn to be given the mom-smack down.
“Ah Omma WAEEEE??”
“It was your idea to bring him home?!”
“Omma you’ve already beaten me about that!”
“I haven’t beaten you enough.”
“Mrs. Kang please! We were both drunk. Sujin had no choice but to—”
“What?” Mrs. Kang went ballistic.
Sujin glared at Seojun, “Han Seojun do you actually want us both to die?”
“YOU WERE DRUNK?!”
“Omma it wasn’t like that!”
“Mrs. Kang it really wasn’t.” Seojun chimed in.
“If it wasn’t then why is he bringing you flowers? Why is he showing up at your place?”
Sujin looked at the tulips and roses on her table. White tulips, a flower of regret. And yellow roses, flowers of friendship. Sujin knew exactly what they meant. She wondered if Han Seojun knew too or if he just got really lucky with his choices.
It was a while before Mrs. Kang calmed down. Seojun felt thoroughly sore. Both he and Sujin sat on the floor with guilty expressions on their faces, looking like school children being punished.
“Get out. I don’t want to see the likes of your around my daughter ever again.”
“Omma.”
Seojun bowed his head to the ground. “I am really sorry Mrs. Kang. I’m really sorry for all of the trouble that I’ve caused. I assure you I will never let anything like that happen again.”
Mrs. Kang crossed her arms and looked away.
“Omma. Neither of us had any idea that something like this would happen. Its not Seojun’s fault. And besides, he got into trouble too.” Sujin nudged him with her elbow.
“Yes, ma’am. I was almost kicked out of my company.” Which wasn’t exactly true but Seojun didn’t mind fibbing a little.
“You should have been!” Mrs. Kang fumed but then softened when she saw Seojun’s best puppy dog face. Han Seojun was always good with ladies, especially ones that were mad at him.
He inched closer to Mrs. Kang. “Mrs. Kang. I’m really regretful about what Sujin faced.” He took her hands in his. Sujin watched in astonishment as Han Seojun turned her mother’s boiling anger to a low simmer. “But I promise you, I will do everything in my power to make sure that this never happens again.”
Mrs. Kang cleared her throat.
“And look, the food we both prepared has gotten all cold. Wouldn’t it be better if we all eat and talk calmly?”
Sujin scoffed, not only at the blatant pandering but at the fact that it was working. Mrs. Kang’s anger all but disappeared. It came to a point that as they all ate, she began taking his side.
“How could you risk an idol’s reputation like that?” She asked Sujin who could only roll her eyes.
“Omma, how can you say that?”
“I mean, now that I think about it, it isn’t Seojun’s fault that his fans came after you.”
“Ugh, I can’t believe this.” Sujin scowled.
As dumb as Han Seojun had appeared, Sujin had to admit this was pretty shrewd. It made her wonder what else she had misjudged him on. He even got himself invited by Mrs. Kang to come by again for dinner.
“Your mom is incredible.” Seojun told Sujin as they walked to the convenience store. Mrs. Hand had sent them out for some ice-cream since she had brought nothing for dessert.
“She’s changed a lot after the divorce. She’s more herself now.”
They walked slowly, enjoying the night air and the silence. Oddly enough the quiet didn’t feel awkward or strange. Neither of them felt any pressure to speak. They got papico, the ice-cream that came in squishy bottles, and sat by on the benches outside.
“Kang Sujin,” Seojun began, “about what happened… are you… You know when I, um… I guess what I’m trying to say is…”
Sujin laughed, a clear gurgle of joy that made Seojun feel strange in his stomach. “Mwo-ya? Has the great Han Seojun been rendered speechless?” She laughed some more and Seojun didn’t stop her. “Relax Han Seojun. I’m fine.”
Seojun looked at his feet. “I… wasn’t happy with what happened to do… with the articles and how everybody was talking about you.”
“Gwenchana. It’s over now. I mean I had to make another Instagram account but all in all, its not as bad now. Besides,” she tilted her chin, “do you think a bunch of cowards who hide behind usernames are enough to take me down? I’m Kang Sujin, remember? Badass of Saebom High.”
“I thought I was the badass of Saebom high.” Seojun raised a brow.
“You were the gangster.” Sujin grinned, eating her ice-cream.
“I’m glad you’re tough. You don’t let these things bother you.”
“I’d be lying if I said it didn’t bother me. People telling me that I’m the worst and I should die wasn’t exactly easy.” She said grimly. “But you know what upset me the most?”
“What?”
“That I couldn’t beat those cowards up for saying what they did.” Sujin got up and punched the air. “If I could just get my hands on those twerps then I would teach them a lesson or two.” She punched the air.
The fire in Sujin’s eyes was so comical that Seojun burst out laughing.
“Don’t laugh! Hajima! I’m not joking.”
“Kang Sujin, were you always such a fighter?”
“Yup!” Sujin stated simply. She sat back besides Seojun, closer this time. And he noticed. “What about you?” She asked. “How are you doing?”
Seojun leaned back leisurely, “Eh, I’m fine. I don’t worry about public perception anyway. The people who matter will know me. Everyone else is just noise.”
“I bet your fans would leave you in a second.” Sujin teased.
“Don’t diss my fans. They’re all cool and awesome.”
“What, all two of them? Do they also happen to be named Jukyung and Suho?”
“You’re forgetting Chorong.”
The two giggled.
“Did your co-workers ask for more autographs?”
“Nope. Got fired before they could.”
“What?” Seojun stood up. Sujin relayed how her company had let her go after details about her past misconduct were released online.
“How could they just fire you? Isn’t that illegal?”
“Calm down. It’s normal for that to happen.”
“How can you be so calm?”
“Would you rather I get angry? There’s no point in doing that. I won’t get that job back.”
Seojun pressed his lips together in a tight line and sat back down.
“I’m surprised that you’re actually defending me.” Sujin sounded impressed.
“I mean… its wrong. Even if you and I don’t get along, what’s wrong is wrong.”
Sujin chuckled. She looked at the time on her phone. “I should get back. How are you getting home?”
“I brought my bike.”
“Your company lets you ride motorbikes?”
“Nope.” Seojun grinned.
“A’ight. Good night, Han Seojun. Stay safe.” Sujin walked back in the direction of the apartment. Feeling light and happy. While her online image hadn’t completely recovered, her relationship with Han Seojun had. She might not have to simply tolerate his presence now. They might genuinely get along.
“Kang Sujin!” Han Seojun called out to her, the woman who he thought was vile and destructive. The person that turned wasn’t that woman. It was the little girl who had looked to her father with love but only got his abuse in return.
“I’m sorry I misjudged you.” Seojun told the little girl.
The girl smiled. “I’m sorry I misjudged you too.”
x.
It was unfamiliar territory, getting along with Kang Sujin. More for the group than Han Seojun and Kang Sujin. They all looked at the pair in wonder and shock when Sujin asked Seojun to pass the soy sauce and he obliged. It shocked them further when Sujin laughed when Seojun bragged about being recognized at a department store and being asked for pictures.
“Hey, you feeling okay?” Jukyung asked Sujin quietly.
“Yeah, why?” Sujin replied.
“Nothing. Just asking.”
“Hey, what’s up with you?” Suho asked Seojun privately.
“What?”
“You’re acting all weird around Kang Sujin.”
“Weird how?”
“You’re being nice.”
“Am I not supposed to be?”
“Okay! Who’s going to go first?” Taehoon asked the room, interrupting Suho and Seojun’s conversation.
They were at Suho’s apartment where he had a karaoke machine set up. Seojun had finally relented to visiting their place and it was just as painful as he had thought it would be. It was a mishmash to Jukyung’s bright and lively style with Suho’s dark and moody one.
The posters of rock bands and Junji Itou’s mangas were something both of them shared. It was fascinating how the two of the most caring people in Seojun’s life were into such dark things. Seojun saw Sujin eye one of the horror comic book posters suspiciously, as if the monster drawn in them could come out any second.
Chorong sang first, sharing a duet with his girlfriend. Then Taehoon and Suah went next. Duets seemed to be the theme of the night. Jukyung and Suho went next.
“Alright? Who else?”
Sujin was the only girl left.
“Well I’m not going up there.” She said when everyone looked at her. She eyed the other boys, all of whom were terrified of her. Even they could still hear Kang Sujin saying Ya Han Seojun, are you a gangster?!
“Jukyung-ah. Sing with me.” Sujin grabbed Jukyung’s hand and led her up before she could say anything.
“I’m singing too!” Suah joined.
Seojun went next. His was a solo and he clearly was the best performer. His rich baritone singing in a soft melody made everyone pay attention.
“Isn’t it nice to have an idol as a friend?” Suah asked. “Its like having a private concert.” Jukyung and Sujin nodded in agreement.
Everyone swayed their heads to the beat, except for Kang Sujin who was noticing the lyrics Han Seojun was singing.
I want to give you all of my days
I want to tell you all these feelings of mine
The sleepless blue winds
Brightly light up this night
He was singing about Lim Jukyung. Sujin looked over to her friend, who was looking longingly in Suho’s eyes. The two were entranced with each other, not noticing Han Seojun who stood just a couple of feet away, pouring his heart out.
After all the fun had been wrapped up, Seojun and Sujin had been the only two to stay back. Sujin had helped Jukyung clean up while Suho went to throw out the trash.
As Sujin cleaned the dishes, Seojun sat in the living room, looking at all of the pictures Jukyung and Suho had hung up. He could see how Suho and Jukyung would sit on the very couch he was on and watch TV together or lie around reading books.
He tried to replay those images, with himself there with Jukyung instead of Suho but he couldn’t. He couldn’t lie to himself about who she belonged to.
“You know, Han Seojun, I just realized something.” Sujin called from the kitchen.
“What?”
“You have two hands.”
Seojun looked at her like she had lost her mind. “Wow, Kang Sherlock. Your powers of deduction amaze me.”
“So, since you have those two hands, and you’re a gentleman, why not help me out over here? I assume you would feel bad that I’m the only one doing any actual cleaning.”
“You assume incorrectly. I have no issues with you doing all the cleaning.” Seojun turned back to the TV and was promptly hit in the head with a dish rag.
“Oops.” Sujin said flatly.
Seojun got up, dish rag in hand. Wordlessly, he took out the dishes from the washer and lined them up in the cabinets.
“Aren’t you ever afraid that Jukyung will be uncomfortable about you singing love songs to her?” Sujin asked in a low voice.
“What do you mean?”
“That song you sang. My heart is full of you, I’m starting to take after you?”
Seojun eyed her. “She won’t know.”
“I did.”
“Yeah but, you’re you and Jukyung’s Jukyung.”
“So?”
“So…” Seojun leaned closer, “you ranked number two in class for a reason.”
“Sujin-ah! I told you I would take care of everything.” Jukyung appeared from her bedroom.
“Don’t worry about it. Han Seojun helped.” Sujin assured.
The pair said their goodbyes to the couple and exited together. Han Seojun said nothing when he started walking his own way, while Kang Sujin turned to wave at him but was unseen. He was too lost in his own broken heart to notice anyone or anything.
She simply sighed, took it as just a Han Seojun thing and started walking in the other direction.
xi.
“I still can’t get used to this.” Suah said, waving a spoon between Han Seojun and Kang Sujin. The two sat opposite each other and were eating their food peacefully.
It was this peace that bothered Suah.
“I mean, how can you two just get along?”
“We’re adults Choi Su. We can learn how to get along.” Sujin stated.
Suho spluttered in laughter. “I thought you said that Seojun was a giant baby with no manners?”
Seojun gave Sujin a scathing look. Sujin went pink, “I never said that! You take that back!”
“It’s still strange.” Suah leaned closer. “What happened? Have you guys settled your differences?”
“Han Seojun got Sujin flowers.” Suho said cheekily.
“Yah!” Seojun protested. But it was in vain, the deed was done, and everyone oohed and aahed at this news.
“Did you really get her flowers?”
“Wait, when did this happen?”
“Does that mean that Seojun apologized first?”
“What kind of flowers?”
Seojun looked at Suho with the rage of a thousand suns. Suho just grinned back.
“Aren’t flowers romantic?”
“Ya! There was nothing romantic about it. All I got her were yellow roses and white tulips.” Seojun defended.
“OoooOoooh. Roooses. Roses are totally romantic.” Taehoon teased.
“They were yellow. Yellow roses are for friendship!”
“So, are you two friends?” Jukyung asked and everyone looked at Seojun and Sujin.
“Meh.” They both shrugged at the same time.
“Omo! Look at how in sync they are!”
“We are not.” They both said in sync.
Seojun had to admit, their group gatherings were much more comfortable now that he and Sujin had cleared the air between them. He enjoyed discovering how Sujin was less the ice princess he had thought her to be and more a regular girl. She also turned out to be much cooler than he had expected.
She had been the only one to see his discomfort when Jukyung and Suho suggested they all go on an overnight trip with them. Going to see their apartment; the very proof that Lim Jukyung and Lee Suho ate and slept—Oh God, don’t think about them sleeping—together was painful enough. Seojun didn’t need to see them canoodling for an entire weekend.
“What about it guys? Shall we go?” Jukyung looked around as everyone nodded excitedly, including Sujin.
But then her eye’s met Seojun’s. He said nothing but he didn’t need to.
“Lim Ju, it’ll be difficult for me to join. I just lost my job, remember? An overnight trip is...” Seojun knew Sujin was just making up an excuse.
“Oh, oh right. Sorry Kang Su-ya. I totally forgot. Something else then!”
The group moved on to discussing other options. Seojun sent Sujin a grateful look. She acted nonchalant, as if she had not just overturned everyone’s plans for him.
“Thanks. For what you did back in there.” He told her as they were all leaving.
“Forget about it.” She waved a hand in dismissal.
The next time the group gathered at a fancier restaurant than usual. A suggestion by Suho who had offered to pay for the food tonight.
“This place is so beautiful.” Suah commented looking around the interior.
“Are we celebrating something?” Sujin asked. “This doesn’t seem like a regular get-together.”
Sujin had only asked for the sake of asking. But something about the way Suho looked at her told Seojun that she was on to something.
“Well,” Jukyung held up her hand, “we do have something to announce.”
And announce she did. The big fat diamond resting on her ring finger had a lot to say. And suddenly everyone erupted with joy. The girls took Jukyung in their arms, squealing and crying with joy. The boys surrounded Suho, patting him on the back, congratulating him.
All except Seojun, who just sat there in a daze. Sujin happened to look over and see him, frozen in his seat. Sujin wasn’t alone in her observation. Taehoon also noticed but missed the implication.
“Look! Han Seojun is actually so shocked he—"
Sujin made it look like an accident, her bumping into the table and sending a glass down on the floor, shattering into a million pieces. The sound shook Seojun out of his daze and also distracted everyone from realizing Seojun’s inner turmoil.
“Oh shit.” Sujin said looking down.
“Hey, be careful.” Jukyung said.
“You okay?” Suho asked Jukyung, taking her arm.
“Excuse me, can we get someone to clean this up?” Taehoon asked the waiter.
The fuss over the broken glass gave Seojun enough time to recover. He then congratulated Suho with a massive hug.
“You both deserve each other. I mean it.” He told Suho and he meant it.
Maintaining a fake smile over dinner was easy. Everyone else was so chatty that Seojun’s and Sujin’s relative silence went unnoticed. Suah pestered Jukyung for details: “How did it happen?”, “When?”, “Why didn’t you call me immediately?”. Taehoon made jokes about marriage being the end of romance to which Suah started an argument with him and then it became about settling matters between the two.
Sujin didn’t remember much of what happened after that, the rest of the night was a blur. She just hoped that she had maintained enough dignity to not appear as bitter as she actually felt.
Even though they all parted very late in the night, Sujin couldn’t go directly home. She needed something to ease the pain. So naturally, she went to the nearest tent bar she could find. The place seemed to be overcrowded, with people waiting outside for others to leave. Sujin managed to sneak in and grab a table.
She downed half of a soju bottle in one go but then couldn’t muster the energy to drink further. Her side dishes went untouched. All Sujin could do was stare and wonder if there was any way to just take her heart out of her chest and throw it away. Because there seemed to be no relief from this pain she was feeling.
She banged her head on the table. “Ah wae? Why can’t I just move on?” She asked herself in frustration.
“Ugh, why the hell are you here?” That irritated tone and deep voice could only belong to one person. And indeed, when Sujin looked up she saw Han Seojun a few tables over looking at her in disdain.
“Wae? You have a claim on this place?” Sujin raised a critical brow.
“And what if I do?”
“Then give me everything for free. Since we’re friends who get along.”
“No. Friends pay double.”
“How stingy.” Sujin took another shot of soju.
The man running the tent bar came over. “Why don’t you two share a table since you know each other? I have customers waiting to be seated.”
“No way, I’m not sitting with her.” Seojun grumbled.
“Aha! I knew it! Being all nice to me was just an act.”
The owner ignored Sujin, “How can two youngsters be so rude? Get up! I’m moving you over there.”
This was how Han Seojun came to drink with Kang Sujin for the second time. They both looked at each other with scowling faces.
“What happened, Kang Sujin? You were acting all happy for the lucky couple.” Seojun taunted. He seemed a little tipsy but so was Sujin.
“Of course, I’m happy. I’m so, so happy.” She said wistfully.
Seojun scoffed. “Is that why you were whining about not being able to move on? I thought you said you didn’t like Lee Suho anymore.”
Sujin narrowed her eyes. “I don’t. And even if I allegedly did, at least I held it all in. You were clearly about to run away with Jukyung before I saved you.”
“Saved me? Puh-lease.”
“Why? Do you think that glass fell on its own?”
Seojun gave her a sideways look before taking another shot.
“You gonna eat that?” He pointed a chin to her plate.
“Nah, have it.”
They sat in silence for a moment. A comfortable silence where neither felt compelled to say anything.
Sujin shook Seojun when she suddenly smacked her glass down on the table. “I’m over Lee Suho.” She declared. “I’m over Lee Suho… but…”
“Just because you’re over him, doesn’t mean you stopped loving him.” Seojun said what she was thinking.
She looked at him, her pain evident on her face. In that moment, he let himself be vulnerable too.
“Isn’t it funny? Out of everyone I know, you’re the only one who gets… this.” Sujin said.
Seojun chuckled. “Exactly. Who woulda thought? Kang Sujin and Han Seojun having something in common.”
“You know it’s gonna hurt even worse from now on, right? We’re the closest to those two. That means we’ll be involved in everything.”
Seojun rubbed his faced. “I can’t think about that right now. Or I really will die.”
Sujin understood what he meant. “You know what I want?”
“What?”
“I want Suho to never find out that I still like him.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, I can’t help that I feel this way right? You can’t stop yourself from feeling what you feel. But… I wanna keep my dignity. I wanna still be cool and… not be seen as some pathetic loser who’s still after her best friend’s boyfriend.”
Seojun took a shot, nodding.
Sujin leaned forward. “That’s why, I suggest we help each other out.”
Seojun gave her a look. “How so?”
“Well, if we see the other being too transparent, then we stop them, or at least take the attention away so that the other can collect themselves.”
“Like the broken glass today?”
“Like the broken glass today. And if it’s getting too painful, then we can just talk about it.”
Seojun laughed. “Kang Sujin, offering therapy. That’s rich.”
“Not therapy. Friendship. It helps if you talk about stuff like this.” Sujin insisted.
Seojun gave her a considering look. “What’s in it for me? These seem like things you want to do.”
“You’ll be able to attend Jukyung’s wedding without feeling like you’re dying on the inside.”
“There’s no guarantee that will happen.”
“You’re right, there isn’t. But at least that’s what it’ll look like. Think about it Han Seojun. Do you want Jukyung to always see you as the friend who is in love with her? Or do you want her to see you as a cool friend who she can comfortably rely on, without wondering if she’s hurting his feelings.”
Seojun thought about it. It felt like a bad idea. But there was a part of Han Seojun that was tired of his own attachment to Lim Jukyung. If it meant that it would help him move on, then he was willing to try anything
“Alright, Kang Sujin.” He raised his glass. Sujin clinked hers with his. “Let’s try this.”
I am bad at making memes but I do it any way
#true beauty#true beauty kdrama#true beauty fanfiction#true beauty soojin#kang sujin#kang soojin#kang soojin and han seojun#seojun x sujin#seojun x soojin#han seojun#kdrama#Sujin x Seojun#han seojun fanfiction#han seo jun#Kan Sujin Fanfiction#hwang in yeop#park yoona#junjin
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Sweater Weather Tarot
Y’all, never have I ever created fan art or anything... and I still haven’t. Because I can’t draw. But after @lumosinlove mentioned a Sweater Weather tarot deck, I had to cross over this amazing story (which you should 100% read immediately) with my only other creative talent -- reading tarot.
Click through for the Major Arcana as Sweater Weather. (Please, please, someone make my dreams come true and illustrate these.)
spoilers abound, read the fic first!!! 0 - The Fool - James The start of the tarot encourages us to think about the hopeful, confident feelings we have at the beginning of a journey. James is overly excited about welcoming Sirius to the team, about Lily’s pregnancy, then later about Coops and O’Knutzy. He’s a tad oblivious - the main caution that the fool gives us - but we all wish we had his optimism.
1 - The Magician - Dumo The magician is the one who sees all, knows all, and makes shit happen. Can you think of anyone who better represents creative problem-solving, using intuition to guide actions, charisma, power, benevolence? Daddy Pascal all the way.
2 - The High Priestess - Natalie Even though she’s a relatively minor character, it’s clear to everyone that Natalie knows exactly who she is and she acts like it. She’s a bad-ass who knows what she wants and gets it. That’s the high priestess - balancing our internal and external drives, goals, and motivations.
3 - The Empress - Lily I know, I know, put the pregnant lady on the card featuring.... a pregnant lady? The empress encourages us to embrace our compassion, empathy, and healing powers; she tells us to bring new things into the world, whether that’s literally small people or creative projects or new relationships. She’s so supportive of Loops, James, and Sirius that she deserves this (my favorite card!)
4 - The Emperor - The League Is is cheating to put a kind of abstract body here? The emperor represents the structures in our life that give us rules and regulations. Sometimes, that’s a good thing - we can all use a little routine and structure for stability. Sometimes it can feel oppressive. The League is responsible for bringing all our favorite characters together, but its power makes them feel scared of breaking the rules.
5 - The Hierophant - Minnie A hierophant is a religious leader; in the tarot, he taps into The Rules and uses them to provide guidance on the journey. Minnie, as Sirius’s agent, knows how to guide him along that traditional path as a star hockey player without too much damage to who he is inside. She’s going to work within the system to give the press some Brothers Black drama to distract other news, but she’s proud as hell when he snaps back at nosy reporters. She’s the best.
6 - The Lovers - Coops What did you expect??? In the Tarot, this card isn’t just about romantic relationships with others - it’s also about our relationship to ourselves. Sirius and Remus are both healing and building their relationships with their own identities throughout the course of their careers and lives in SW. Their growth together and individually is what makes them perfect for this card.
7 - The Chariot - Finn This card represents action, action, action - even if you’re not sure which direction that action is headed in. Finn dates June, kisses Leo, runs after Logan, shares their relationship with team... all of this to keep himself moving forward. Maybe it’s not a linear path, but he’s sure as hell skating running down it.
8 - Justice - the Blizzard Honestly I think this card is such a perfect pairing with the High Priestess. Justice asks us to think broadly about what is fair, to ourselves and to others. At Remus’s during All-Stars, Kasey sums up perfectly how Sirius's reaction wasn’t fair to anyone involved -- it’s a moment that really hit home for me what a stand-up guy he is!
9 - the Hermit - 36 Missed Calls It’s good to take time out to retreat and evaluate yourself, your life, your next steps. The hermit isn’t a “bad” card, by any means. But we can’t hide forever, and we have to choose when our self-reflection is going do the most good, for ourselves and for the ones around us.
10 - Wheel of Fortune - O’Knutzy The wheel reminds us that sometimes it’s best to go with the flow and trust that the right opportunities will present themselves at the right times. Sometimes you just gotta wait 8 years for your missing piece to show up, okay? I’m not crying.
11 - Strength - Sirius TW: coming out, being outed, abuse (mentions, not graphic) This card always gets me because the Waite-Smith illustration reminds us that strength doesn’t always look like we would assume. Sometimes it’s just surviving, just making it another day, even if you’re not doing the most “courageous” thing. It’s hard to not be out, it’s hard to come out, it’s hard to be outed. And it’s hard to experience abuse and hard to have abuse in your past. Sirius knows a thing or two about strength, okay, plus this card has a lion on it, so there you go.
12 - the Hanged Man - Leo Where the hermit retreats to do his self-reflection and thinking, the hanged man takes his time to reflect out in the open. His upside-down position represents considering that what’s expected of you might not serve you. The most observant guy on the team could teach us a thing or two about stepping back to step up.
13 - Death - Regulus Listen. LISTEN. Death is a great card to pull in the Tarot. It signifies the end of an old chapter and the beginning of a new one. When Regulus and Sirius cut off their mother and Reg agrees to come back to Gryffindor, he ends that chapter of the Black brothers’ lives, allowing a new one to start.
14 - Temperance - Arthur I’m 100% basing this on the snippet that Haz shared where Arthur tells everyone not to bring their relationship drama onto the ice. He’s clearly so happy, but there’s also a game to play and a cup to win. Balance, boys, everything in balance.
15 - the Devil - Paparazzi & Press Sure, we’re mad at the paps and want to characterize them as negatively as possible, but truthfully they’re more complicated. The paparazzi and the press represent the temptation of caring about what others think... it’s fine to care a little bit, but when you care to the point of sacrificing yourself and your own growth, you’ve given into a dangerous temptation.
16 - the Tower - Greyback, Walburga, and The Photo When everything falls apart in a spectacular mess, that’s the tower for ya. Greyback, Sirius’s mom, and the photo are the ones that set off the chain of obstacles that Sirius and Remus overcome in SW. Of course in hindsight we’re glad the tower fell so that we can build up a better one, but wow, did it have to suck so much? Like the death card, the tower also paves the way for new beginnings, but we can grieve the way it happened.
17 - the Star - Remus You thought it would be Sirius, didn’t you? Well the star is a “dreams come true” card, and Remus knows something about that. Even when his hockey career was ended before it began, he pivoted and created a new dream to go by; his dreams of love may have taken a back-burner, but now they’re coming truuuue <3 thanks for letting me be so corny
18 - the Moon - Logan The phases of the moon remind us that nothing is permanent. Even if there’s some mystery about what’s going to come next, our worries aren’t going to prevent the sun from rising. Logan was perhaps a little reticent to move from his “ignoring feelings” phase into “yay love amazing relationship” phase. He hid a little bit from himself and from Finn. But it’s all going to be great!
19 - the Sun - Julian & Adele We look to the sun for happiness, confidence, inspiring happiness in others -- the next generation is certainly a source of that. Hazelnuts love Julian and Adele because they represent how amazing life can be for our favorite Lions.
20 - Judgement - Hazel @lumosinlove She’s engineering the whole show. Us Hazelnuts can only wait with bated breath for her to bless us with the next chapters of Sweater Weather and Coast to Coast! 21 - the World - the Cup *knocks on wood* *throws salt over left shoulder* This card is the end of the journey in the Major Arcana and it’s achieving our goals - growth, love, stability, creativity, new knowledge, whatever your heart needs or desires. It’s not just about winning a championship for our characters.... it’s about living a complex and fulfilled life, with love, hockey, self-confidence, family, friends, and maybe a Cup, too. *knocks on wood again*
#sweater weather#lumosinlove#coops#o'knutzy#remus x sirius#sirius x remus#wolfstar#tarot#wolfstar tarot#fanfiction tarot#rider-waite#waite-smith#coast to coast#c2c#sw
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On Your Six, Chapter 5
Day 5: Mission Go- Cooking for @taiqrowweek
Wait what do you mean I switched the prompt days around? Dunno what you’re talking about ;)
(Don’t worry it’ll make more sense in the long run)
Rating: T for this chapter, M for overall
Words: 2.5k
Summary: Qrow was what most of society would call a small-town criminal. But to those oppressed, he hoped only to be a healer. In an effort to make a change in the world, he moves from kingdom to kingdom, searching for branded omegas in need. His goal? To turn the derogatory words the reformatories forced them to bear on their skin into works of art.
Then one day, his past catches up to him in the form of Taiyang, his former best friend, with a brand of his own stained onto his skin and a plea for help in his eyes. Qrow has no choice but to answer, even if it means he’d have to face his mistakes once and for all.
[An ABO-style universe in a modern-day style Remnant. No Grimm, because people are the real monsters in this one]
Ao3 Link: On Your Sleeve
~
Tai had started feeding him.
At first, it had begun with little things, shortly following that fateful day he gave him the picture. Prepackaged snacks or fresh fruits or vegetables as a healthy addition to the cheap, instant lunch meals he could easily afford. Then it quickly dissolved into tubberware covered leftovers of various pastas or stews, things that kept well and were well adept at making in large servings.
By late May, with the advent of Qrow’s twenty-sixth birthday, Tai arrived at his place loaded with grocery bags, a proper skillet and a determined purpose to make his favorite dish of chicken curry. It was, hands down, one of the best meals he’d had in years.
Yet, even after the occasion passed, the trend continued until it seemed Sunday became the day his stomach most looked forward too. Normally, Qrow would put up a fight about being doted after – Tai wouldn’t be the first omega to develop the habit. The most prominent of whom had been Maria, whose sessions had to be shorter than most both due to her age and the difficulty working with thinner, more wrinkled skin.
But she had also been a grandmother. A feisty one, who smacked him on the head a lot with her cane, but was also kind and worried and constantly remarking on his too-thin frame until he just gave up and let her do whatever she wanted.
But with Tai, he couldn’t even manage to feign annoyance. In part because Tai’s cooking was damn good and he’d be a fool not to gobble it up at every opportunity. But also, because it gave an excuse for their sessions to run long.
He didn’t even think it was a one-sided endeavor. Beyond the innate omega instinct to care for and Tai’s naturally generous personality, there was a loneliness in those blue eyes that told the truth behind all the fumbled attempts to waste time or make breaks run longer. By July, Tai wasn’t leaving his place until at least ten at night.
Neither of them complained about the arrangement.
Then August rolled around, and Qrow had an absolutely foolish idea.
The first Sunday of the month was on the 5th and it passed with little incident or notice. They were back at the first of the designs, arguably the most complex with the amount of color layers needed, so their dinner was nothing fancy. Just simple sandwiches and side salads, so most of their time could be spent under the needle instead.
He’d banked on that happening so that what would happen next wouldn’t have a chance of paling in comparison.
You busy tonight? He messaged early Wednesday.
Tai responded a few hours later, probably when his first break popped up. No. Why?
Come over after work. I have something to give you. He replied after he’d finished with his client for the day, sometime early afternoon.
The final response was cheeky and towards the end of the school day. You’re about as subtle as a brick.
Almost at 6 P.M. on the dot, there was a knock on his door.
“Coming!” Qrow called, dancing between the kitchen and the table to make sure everything was perfectly in place. He gave it all a satisfactory nod, then hurried over, sliding the door open only enough so he could wedge between it and the threshold, blocking Tai’s view.
The omega looked different, fresh out of work. His blond hair had been lightly gelled, just enough to give it a bit of bounce. The casual wear he was normally in was swapped out for a more professional look; pants and a collared shirt ironed of any wrinkles and shoes shined enough they gleamed.
So of course his eyes fell onto the one thing that completely ruined the look with a teasing snort. “Nice tie, Tai.”
“You like it?” He grinned, pulling at the absolutely hideous yellow abomination that was covered in yapping cartoon corgis. “The kids love ‘em. They call me the Funny Tie Guy.”
Oh Gods. “Bet you get a kick out of it every time.”
“I literally can knot get enough of it.” Tai had the nerve to wink as he said it too.
Qrow groaned. “You are so lucky it’s your day. Speaking of-” He swung the door open, revealing the room with a flourish.
Admittedly, it wasn’t much. Still, it was satisfying to see the way Tai’s face lit up with joy as he spotted the modest little table set for two, dinner already set in their bowls and the most expensive white wine he could reasonably afford already poured. The omega looked from it to him, grin growing, “You did all this?”
“Yeaaah.” Qrow flushed, trying to hide his anxiety. He’d never been great with giving gifts. “Happy birthday ya big lug.”
Tai laughed, throwing an arm over his shoulders and pulling him into a hug. “Thank you. This is just what I wanted.”
He could have stayed there forever – but he didn’t work himself to death to let dinner go cold. He pat his back, mindful of the healing wounds, and said, “Let’s eat.”
Qrow’s relationship with cooking was disjointed and the spread seemed to reflect that. The fried rice was perfect; it was one of the first things his mother taught him how to make on the stove. The garlic broccoli, more of a staple in the Xiao Long family, had a bit of crunch where some of the pieces hadn’t fully cooked through because he hadn’t had Tai beside him to remind him to stir. Just like the many other easy things he helped him learn how to make when he found out he and Raven had been living off nothing but white rice and peanut butter sandwiches for months.
The moo shu pork was the trickiest and most complicated dish by far and nothing he’d ever even attempted before. His amateur hand left it looking a bit of a mess as they poured it onto the tortillas. Unpretty as it was in presentation and lacking a few of the pricier ingredients like oyster sauce and sesame oil, the marinade had the pork still bursting with flavor.
The wine was there to act as a garnish to make the food seem better than it was. Which was probably why Qrow kept pouring it until he and Tai had split two and a half glasses between each other. Either that, or because Tai was adorably chatty when he was tipsy.
“So, there we are, watching about thirty of these Fayblades spinning around, knocking into each other and some of the cheaper ones are falling apart. Everything is going too fast for any of us to do the math problems on them. And Missy and I just look at each other like we both just realized what a horrible mistake we made. It was only the first week back and I was pretty sure we were about to lose an eye or something.” As he told the story, Tai animatedly gestured around with his glass, liquid sloshing almost past the rim. “We get the kids to back up until they all stop. Then Missy starts gathering a few up, saying how this time we would try less so we can actually keep count – when Velvet speaks up from the back and says ‘Blue wins 124 to 90’.”
Qrow polished off his own glass, setting it on the table. “That’s the quiet one with the rabbit in her bag, right?”
“Mmhmm. She kind of tries to hide when everyone starts looking at her, so I don’t say anything right then. Just take it as fact and move on. But when recess comes around, I pull her aside and ask her how she knew the answer. And she tells me, completely serious mind you, that she’s a camera. So it was easy to do all the math when she basically had the pictures saved in her head. And I’m like, holy shit!” He taps his temple for emphasis. “She has a photographic memory.”
“Ain’t that just a myth?” He asked, starting to gather the empty dishes.
Tai waved him off. “Pfft. Qrow, you gotta stop thinking like the world’s just a big science textbook. It’s more like a-a fairytale! Where magic can happen at any moment.”
“Tai, you’re drunk.”
“I am not!” This time, when he gestured, some of the wine hit the table. He blinked down at it. “Ah, shit!”
He laughed. “Man, you still can’t hold your liquor.”
“You dishonor me.” The omega accused, pointing to his right hand as if it were an exhibit. “I’m holding it just fine.”
That only made him laugh harder, until he had to wipe tears from the corners of his eyes.
~
Somehow, they found themselves laying side by side on the bed, shoulders pressed together. Tai’s scroll was balanced between the head of the bed and the wall, the display playing the finale of their favorite show growing up, Silver Eyes. It was the height of the final battle. Rosette was locked in battle with Bastinda while the rest of her friends lay, unconscious or ensnared in traps, around them.
“Do you not yet see how pointless this all is? How my power eclipses you all?” Bastinda snarled as she swung her wand down. “You’re all just insignificant riffraff!”
Rosette seemed to find some strength, blocking the attack with her broadsword. “You’re wrong! No one is insignificant! Even the smallest of us has something good to contribute.”
“Foolish child!” A powerful gravity spell threw Rosette to the ground, knocking her sword out of her hand.
“Gods,” Qrow griped. “This is cheesier than I remember.”
Tai shushed him. “Hush, the best part’s coming up!”
He rolled his eyes, but his traitorous mouth smiled all the same. Alright, so maybe this part was pretty hype. Watching it play out again on the screen, he felt ten again, practically glued to screen as his excitement built.
A large shadow stretched across the valley, delaying the witch from striking the final blow as she turned to the source. Up on the hill, sun behind him, was Zwei. Rosette’s little corgi that had been with her from the start of the show. He came racing down the hill, stubby little legs barely able to pick up speed.
Bastinda sneered, pointed her wand at the dog. “Pathetic.”
“Zwei, no!!” Rosette cried, tears filling her eyes just as the blast fired.
It seemed like the end for the lovable pup as smoke filled the air.
And then, with a blast of light, something came flying out of the dust and landing before the witch. The world rumbled under powerful paws as the giant white wolf stood before her, letting out a powerful growl that brought her to her knees.
“I don’t believe it!” Blanca cried from her mirror prison. “Zwei’s a Guardian!”
The rest of the finale played out just as he remembered, Zwei turning the tide of the fight and giving Rosette a chance to free her friends, all of them coming together for one final attack that rid the world of the cruel witch once and for all. After that, the wolf turned back into the lovable and more marketable corgi pup, and everyone headed home to enjoy true peace for the first time in a millennium.
Tai sat up as the credits began to roll, stretching his arms above his head. “I still think it holds up pretty well.”
“Sure, if you ignore the fact they completely sidelined Silver Eyes. It’s only the title of the show.” He snarked.
“Come on now. It’s not about the power ups. It’s about the journey and the-”
“Friends they made alone the way.” He mimed gagging. It was only the motto shoved down his throat at the end of almost every episode.
Tai merely laughed at his antics, picking up his scroll and slipping off the bed. “It’s late. I better head home.”
Maybe it was the vestiges of the alcohol or maybe it was the other’s scent, sweeter and more inviting than usual, that loosened his tongue enough to offer, “You could crash here, if you want.”
“In your bed? We hardly fit.”
Acquiescently, he rolled onto his side, practically shoving himself against the wall as he pat the wide, empty space. “It’ll be fine. And your drunk.”
“Hardly. And I’ll have to get up early to get back home and get ready.”
“It’s fine.” The noise left him involuntarily. It wasn’t a growl, really; it was barely more than a rumble. Regardless, the regret hit him instantly as he bit down on his tongue and turned his face up apologetically.
The omega just arched a brow, entirely unaffected and unimpressed by his pitiful display. Then he chuckled, any meteor-sized tension there could have been burning up long before impact could be made. “Gods, you’re such a punk, you know that?”
“I…uh…”
“Alright, you win.” Tai set the alarm on his scroll with his right hand, while he crossed the room and got the lights with his left. He used the glow coming off of the device to find his way back, dropping it onto the nightstand. In the bits of moonlight coming from the window, Tai became an erotic beauty as he undid his tie and buttons, shrugging out of his shirt. His belt hit the ground next – though mercifully he kept his pants on.
Qrow watched him, utterly transfixed, as he lowed himself to the bed, mattress dipping anew with the readded weight as the omega stretched out onto his stomach. Beyond all comprehension, he had to fight every muscle in his body from reaching for him. The need to bring him close and curl around him was overwhelming. So, he shoved his hands underneath the crook of his neck and locked his elbows.
Why had he thought this was a good idea again?
Tai heaved out a long sigh, mumbling, “Goodnight Qrow.”
He swallowed, voice barely above a whisper as he responded, “G’night.”
Without a clock in the room, there was no telling how long he lay there, coiled up tight like a spring waiting for the pressure to come loose, listening to the sounds of Tai’s breathing slowly evening out. It wasn’t until Qrow was absolutely certain the other wouldn’t wake that he risked it.
Though it felt a bit reprehensible, it was with that same uncontrolled desire in which he found himself scooting his upper half forward, inch by agonizing inch, until the bridge of his nose was pressed up against the curve of Tai’s shoulder.
His eyes slipped shut, breathing in deeply. The omega’s scent swirled around him, sunflowers and soil and bright summer days; a smell that was unmistakably, irrevocably Tai.
Here. With him.
Slowly, the rigidity to his muscles relaxed and he finally drifted off, the scent embracing him as securely as its owner could.
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Babe wake up im going to rant about my ocs lore because im bored
Tw/cw depression, suicide, kidnapping, addiction, unreality
I write angsty stuff for my ocs oops-
When i first started making my characters they were very different in alot of ways and they were very different from what they are now. But i some how managed to glue all the chaos of my ocs together into a semi-coherent story. I went through an insane amount of world building with myself and i honestly dont think ive ever writen or typed any of it out before! its all just up in my head (and you know my memory is trash so ive probably forgotten of alot of things i made before lol). Anyways- i have two main story lines for my characters. Ethan's story, and Vevlet's story. Although i must admit Ethan's story is less complex than velvets simply beacsue it acts as a story of prequeal to Velvets story line. (Alternate realities that happen to have effect on each other basically- we love space time junk)
Ethan's world is very similar to ours, the most similar out of any of my fantasy worlds lol. Ethan's story revolves around self-discovery. I mean for it to be a wholesome/lighthearted thing that quickly leads up to dark undertones (spoilers lol). Ethan's story begins with Eef pre-transition (AFAB to NB). We get to see Ethan learn about themself and have fun exploring emotions and what it means to be alive. Ethan comes from a run-down family (mom khs, dad mia). So he lives with his adoptive parents (who i have yet to design and think about- theyre lesbians 100% though). A major moment for Eef is meeting his partner Seth. As you already know Ethan and Seth are cute ass boyfriends and stuff but guess what! im jammed their story full of angst and edgy shit bc i "wrote" most of this when i was hella depressed! Anyways Seth's family is like moderally welathy, wealthier than most i would say. Seth catches feelings for the emo chick ofc (forgot to metion Eef was definately a hot goth girl before he transitions).... uh yea anyways seth ends up flirting and crushing on eef and eef is like yea sure im bored and sad why not. and they end up dating after a while. Theres an important moment in their relationship when Ethan take Seth to this dead tree. THis dead tree is very important also bc it is where his mother hanged herself, and Ethan doesnt quite remember that bc he was very young when it happened, but he knows it as a place of comfort and he goes there alot when he feels sad or alone. this tree could be taken as symbolizim but heheh ill never tell. anyways Ethan is like yo my fevorite tree and Seth is like wtf okay bro ily and all but why a dead tree with an unstable tire swing?? ANd ethans like idk but i like it here reminds me of my childhood (op my guy) and they spend the night there. Also when ethan comes out to seth as nonbinary seth is just like ok,,, because hes bisexual lol. anyways time skip and Seth has some addiction problems once he graduates, long story short- Ethan doesnt like it bc his dad was a druggie so he trys to help Seth and Seth raises his voice and ethan is tiny compared to his bf so hes naturally like terrified of being hit and he suddenly feels his world of happy and peace he build back up bieng destroyed once again so he heads to his mothers dead tree and decides life isnt worth it anymore, and he hangs himself in the exact spot his mother did.... once seth comes off one of his highs or whatever hes like- oh fuck i yelled and acted agro to my traumatized partner. and he immedatly goes to the tree bc its Ethans favortie spot but its to late. regret is the only emootion anymore... its over for them.
now youre probably wondering how the absolute hell does that tie into velvets lore?? well do i have a tale for you. Velvets sotry begins on her 21st birthday, she is out for drinks with her douchebag bf and her bestfriend. several drinks later she yells over blaring club music shes going to the restroom, and as shes walking back she sees her bf and her bestie making out and she doesnt even say anyhting and walks out alone. She is making her way back to her apartment very tipsy. She then hears a vechile driving beside her, she cant make out anyhting theyre saying and the people in the car get out and before she even relises whats going on shes thrown into the vechile and is being beaten and yelled at. She passes out as theyre driivng to somewhere. When she next awakes she is in a barn-looking place. Concreate walls painted red and straw all over the floor. she cant stand, her legs stung and so did her entire body. for several days- she doesnt know how long she stayed in this place unable to move or do anything. Weak and starving, she gathered up her last bit of strength and hung herself on a low board (havent really worked out the details on that scence bc i keep changing my mind but she does hang herself). Cut to a space of nothingness- legit nothing- exactly its impossible to imagine nothing. In the nothing sits velvet all skin and bone, and then an entity, a hooded figure with long hair, sits next to her. No words are spoke, but the entity looks at velvet longingly. Then it tears out its eye- just full on plunges its hand into its socket and rips it out. bloody mess honestly. the entity hands its eye to velvet, and she takes it. there is no thoughts here, no sound, only actions. Cut once more to a coriners room place? ya know the place with dead bodies and tables and shit- anyways a bright light emerges from dead!vevlets chest and surrounds her entire body. *cue stunned doctor mans* Velvet arises from her death with her scars healed over and... wings. Yup shes an angel now. I mean her world already had monsters and things of suppernatural belonging but- angels are rare. She makes 1 of 2 angels in their relam as of current. Angels are "made" from regrets. Regret overflowing from two sources- one long dead and the other recent. This is where ethan comes in. Ethan's regret from how he died was powerful and sad, powerful enough for his spirt- an entity- to reach Velvets. Velvet too, had much regret in her death. So young and so many things that could have been avoided. In the days following up to her death in the barn/cellar she only felt regret. Regret for all she did and all she didnt do. So much pain summoned the entity. Their powerful forces of regret pulled them together and allowed Velvet to return- but at a price for the both of them. the entity lost its eye- symbolizing a loss of humanity and conscientiousness. While Velvet lost herself, she no longer can view her world in the same way. She has severe ptsd- like episodes and halucinations. She cant go back, she has to live through he own grief. Velvets appearnace also changes quite a bit. Her hair got longer, she has two sleek gray wings on her back, and- one of her eyes are purple now. why does it hrut her to see that eye? why is it all so familiar yet far away. Her human brain can hardly understand all the changes. But she was gifted this- she knows she must try. And luckily for her society sees angels as higher beings. They are given the umost respect but they are also greatly feared because of how misterious their origins are. The only other known angel meets with velvet quite alot through her story, he will act as a sort of guide/plot device to make things a bit easier for myself (havent worked out his lore tho or even a design for him hjbfkjsdb). Anyways im tired and its 1:35 am so thats all the lore you get for now, plus its the stuff ive thought about the most so- i dont really want to think any furtherb ahead yet lol. to many little things to work out...... i love creating but oml typing hurts after an hour or so-
Jam out!
... I don't even know what to say to this
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A Great Big WIP Dump
Here’s a little peek at few of the Endless Summer fics I’m working on right now....
A wild baby Reggie appeared!
Likely to be first finished is a post-Endless Ending visit to Rourke’s MASADA complex, with the Catalysts intent on building this new life on La Huerta.
Excerpt: ‘“I hate this,” Sean lamented. “I really hate this.”
Taylor looked over the rows of tanks, bodies suspended in fluid, only the glowing readings giving away that life prevailed. She shuddered. How could anyone not hate this? “It’s… seriously messed up. But it’s a rock and a hard place situation. What’s more cruel? Leave them like this, or wake them up to the knowledge that everything, everyone they’ve ever known and loved are gone?”
“Are we ever going to have a unanimous agreement on this? Really? Or are they just going to be stuck like this?”
Michelle put a hand to the glass of one of the tanks. Would she want to be woken up to this nightmare? Quite frankly, there were days that she’d envied the guests in their unknowing slumber. “This is too big to make decisions on anything less. This is people’s lives.”’
__________________________
I have no less than TWO Reggie fics on the way. One is a joint Liv fic, because they’re buddies, and they share. There will be art (see above).
Excerpts: ‘“It’s a very special day today, my darling boy; do you know what it is?”
“Da!” came the happy squeak of reply. Reggie kicked his legs around happily; there was something that had gotten his father excited, and that good feeling was catching.
“Your very first birthday,” Grace cooed. “One whole year Reggie has been with us! Aren’t we lucky?” She reached and took a tiny waving hand and kissed it. Her eyes were heavy with rings; it had been so late that she’d waited up, hoping for a last-minute reply of some kind-- anything-- from her mother. Still, there was today… but Grace was left feeling, as she so often had, that hell would freeze over before Blaire acknowledged her grandson. There was a unique kind of tiredness that came with a long cry, and Grace was feeling it all over. But this was Reggie’s day; a celebration of the little boy who had quickly become the light of her life-- and Aleister’s. Today was for love and laughter.’
‘“My moms say we’re probably not gonna get another baby. Maybe ‘cos you have two I can borrow one if I get lonely. Do you have one that you like best?”
Reggie shrugged.
“Maybe next time your mom and dad will have three. You could have all these babies like a baby army, and if someone’s ever mean to you, you will have like a hundred poopy diapers you can throw at them. No one likes poop.”
“I don’t want lots more babies,” Reggie said softly. I want no more.
“If you don’t like babies, you can come and live with us forever!” Liv suggested brightly, oblivious the the wobble of her cousin’s bottom lip.
When Estela popped her head around the corner to check on the kids, Reggie was in tears and Liv looked totally bewildered.
“Mommy, Reggie’s crying…,” she pointed out, rather unnecessarily, for her mother had already scooped the little boy into a cuddle.’
___________________________
Aaaand I’m writing a big Jake/Sean thing. This one will probably take some time because it is a VERY new pairing for me and a long way out of my comfort zone. As part of my research, I’ve been replaying ES and romancing both Jake and Sean (with a new-- male-- MC, not Taylor. Tay is Estela’s), which has been really quite fun. Anyway, this fic’s going to be set over the course of a few years and have cameos from a few Catalyst kids from my previous stories.
Excerpt: “Well, we got our choice of hotel rooms handy. If you wanna give this a shot, ain’t no time like the present.”
Sean faltered. What would ‘this’ be? A fling… wouldn’t be his style. Anything more serious would be maintained long distance, and come with all the heartache that to him seemed inevitable with such an arrangement. But in that flicker of vulnerability he saw upon Jake’s face, he found his answer. He wasn’t being seen as the quarterback, the star; he was being seen simply as himself. All the hurt and fear beneath the surface, all the drive to care and protect… it was shared, and he was wanted. This could be something different; something honest.
“You’re not gonna leave me hanging, are ya?”
“I wouldn’t dream of it. Come to my room-- I’ll order up some champagne. I know you’re a whiskey man, but...”
“Ha. What’s a wedding without champagne?”
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There are a few various bits and pieces I’m working on that may or may not be finished in the near-ish future. Depends on what I have the worst cases of writer’s block with! Obviously, Taylor and Estela will be moving back to the states and heading to college post-Broken Chains. Expect some Taylor/Estela fluff at some point (no shit!). I’ll also be writing something on the creation of Michelle and Quinn’s family, and another Estela perspective of parts of the books.
So, that’s what I’m up to. This year is set to be a busy one for me with a new job, study, and trying to have a baby (!), but I’m excited to squeeze in these fun projects. If anyone has anything they’re particularly excited to read, I’m open to bumping fics up my schedule. ;)
Tagging some amazing and supportive, awesome people: @sceptilemasterr @greengroove @saivilo @edgydepressedchoicesthot
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HELLO LIL BEAN 💛 you already know who I’m here for eheh Death please!
LINDA AHHHH HELLO!!! :D Sorry that I’ve just been able to FINALLY get to this! My schoolwork load today was absolutely insane if I’m being quite honest and I already get distracted so easily, so the snow outside and just the everyday distractions of life aren’t that great either LOL!! But I AM FINISHED AND THE NIGHT IS MINE SO -- let’s get into it! In this post, we’ll be digging into Natia + Death’s relationship, and everything essentially surrounding their connection which, out of everyone and everything in the book remains ENTICING and one of the strongest - quite strange for someone like Natia and this personified being like Death right? ;)
I really liked the way this moodboard turned out, because just about every aspect encompasses a bit of Natia + Death’s relationship with one another AND SO - I will be going through each photo to discuss their relationship and bring it to life a bit! I thought this would be a fun way, to not only have a reference image, but also a description as to WHY I decided on the images for the moodboard that depicts their relationship so vividly! But let’s get a few things hit right off the bat first!
(1) Not once do Natia and Death communicate through words - one of the most powerful things about their connection with one another is simply that. They never speak one word to each other yet, they have one of the strongest relationships throughout the entire book because of simply the deep-seeded connection they hold with one another.
(2) This deep-seeded connection is really rooted in Day 1 after Natia witnesses the death of her parents - though not a scene in the book, it is referenced a various amount of times and is a moment Natia tends to think about more often than not in her time. It’s sort of my play on when Death comes to her and begins to pity her. Oh yes....there is a whole lot of pitying - and Natia HATES pitying...we know this ;)
(3) Agent Mortem is literally Agent ‘Death’ or the Agent of Death. I specifically chose Mortem as Agent Mortem’s codename simply because he really is this perceived Agent of Death in Natia’s eyes. I’m also a Latin Nerd and well, Latin nerds like this stuff HAHA! But truly, weaving that in and showing that not only is Death extremely important to Natia, but so is Agent Mortem (quite literally Death in his own way) has been super fun for me to craft and explore!
AND (4) I want to bring up Death’s connection with War. War is not a very prominent figure I decided to personify within the story, though he is basically the main center of attention lurking in the foreground as this is based in simply WAR! But War makes important appearances and almost in ways you maybe would’t quite expect him to. Number 1, War and Death dislike each other from the start and that’s just my own personal view on this entirely in my own story telling way. Number 2, Death says plenty of times how War makes all these decisions without second though and he has to clean up the mess yet he can’t pull himself away from someone (ahem...Natia) who essentially does much of the same. It’s a load of dramatic irony twisted with wordplay and phrases with double meanings that I LOVE!
(can you tell I’m such a nerd with this LMAOOO!!)
OKAY! Now that those are out of the way, let’s jump under the cut I have inserted to dissect the 9 pictures above - they won’t be super detailed (okay they kinda are lmao), just some reasons why those pictures are important, just for time’s sake! Let’s get into it!
PICTURE 1: “ can we act like we never broke each other’s hearts...” I really, really loved this aesthetic quote photo for many reasons as - not in a romantic sense - but more in it that 2 broken-hearted people are trying to mend one another and obviously fail at it....that sort of thing, and it’s quite interesting to craft. Natia can’t help but feel attached to Death, yet she is so immersed and surrounded by it and it has brought such an immense amount of pain to her being - but she can’t help but let His feeling remain, only letting her heart break further and His the same - he can’t pull away either.
PICTURE 2: “ two people, male and female, standing on the edges of cliffs, with an abyss in the center - darkness coming from the male’s side and light on the female’s “ WOW WOW WOW can I just say this is literally one of my favorites?! Before the war, Natia was not the Natia all the readers know and love currently - she was happy, she played PIANO, she was a CHILD, she was simply a little girl. There was light. Death always was darkness - darkness and sadness and grief and pain. And so, this picture really shows the beginning of their relationship - he brings he darkness and she lets him, she doesn’t fight it - BUT WAIT WHAT’S THAT??? AN ABYSS BETWEEN THEM??? Oohhh yet - you didn’t think I’d leave that one out now would ya? BUT THAT COMES FOR MUCH LATER - to a time in Bastogne particularly that is a spoiler - time will tell though!
PICTURE 3: ‘ I’m not even a whisper in your thoughts yet you’re the screaming in mine.’ All I gotta say is one word - Bastogne. Shit goes down in Bastogne and let’s just say a good portion is between Death and Natia - good or bad who knows, but it goes DOWN. I can’t elaborate much as it is spoiler-filled, but come back again once we hit Bastogne, we can chat again on this picture - I got a whole LOAD of info on it!
PICTURE 4: ‘ Cloaked figure ‘ I am actually delving deeper into Krysta’s ask with this picture, BUT when creating Death, I actually created a picture in my mind - from the beginning I wanted to make it a man, just for the dynamic that would be between Natia and Him and to show Him in a different light! But let’s just say (you’ll find more on the ask I answer for Krysta when I post it) cloaks are a MUST for Death - why might you ask? Why must he be portrayed in a cloak AHAHAH - you’ll see!
PICTURE 5: “Courage meets Death” I LOVE this entire picture aesthetic so so much for Landslide. In a way, Natia, in my eyes is Courage and Death is well Death. It relates back to picture 2 big time with the whole light v dark contrast that I discussed, but it’s not an overpowering of the other quite here - more of an agreement like you can vibe with me and I’ll vibe with you and we’ll leave it to that for the moment. Like Natia fighting Death - connections perhaps?! ;) They’re equals here and equals is what they’ll always be - never more, never less - Death and Natia or in this sense Death and Courage remain equals.
PICTURE 6: “black, grey and white female + crying image” This is more of a representation of Natia - showing the world she sort of sees - not exactly color, but not entirely black and white - more grey, sort of like her character in a sense OR IF WE LIKE TO VIEW IT THIS WAY - the morally grey character that controls her....ahem Agent Mortem....who quite literally sees the world in grey. Just a little play on an idea like that, which is super fun!
PICTURE 7: ‘I broke my rules for you.” OH BOY THIS ONE JUST SCREAMS DEATH TO ME! I reference quite a few times for Death this sort of rule book he has for himself, a bit later on in the book and he says quite a few times as well that even He broke his rules for Natia - he kept her from Death more than once and kept her safe. He is simply DEATH, yet he goes and protects another from it? From HIMSELF? Yet he drifts so near? .....yep that’s exactly how it is. He broke her rules for her - nearly everyone - to protect her from Him.
PICTURE 8: ‘Death’s hand holding a mortals clenched’ So I really played around with perspective on the moodboard here and purposely made the strip down the center show Death’s side as the left and Natia’s as the right and meeting in the center! This image portrays the control Death seems to hold on Natia at times - her mind consumed and intoxicated by him and in the most recent chapter (Weapons Don’t Weep - *26) we seen right at the end, that admist the chaos, there stands Death, the shutting of his eyes as a way to attempt to silence the chaos for her - yet he is the reason for her having to bear all this chaos. It’s quite an intense dynamic, but very true their relationship!
PICTURE 9: ‘flirting with Death’ Okay, we all know Natia is confident in her own capabilities and who she is and let’s just say, she brushes a little too close to Death’s touch for many of her friends and family’s liking. In no way is this portrayed in a romantic sense, but more of in the sense that Natia’s ‘flirting’ with Death is almost a clear want from it, no matter how much Death tries his best to protect her from him. Yet they draw so close to one another which complicates things. It only adds more to the complexity of their connection with one another but is truthful in so many ways!
#band of brothers#landslide#bob fic#natia filipska#natia filipska/death#connection + relationship#symbols and motifs#we love a good symbol of death#yes yes he is my absolute favorite symbol out of the entirety of the fic i can agree with that!!!!#and THIS WAS SO FUN OMG LIKE???? SO SO FUN!!! AHHHH
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Alright I'm doing it again I guess... Just finished tua season 2 and here are my thoughts. Gonna break it down by characters probably. Spoilers Warning now!!!
1. Luther- didn't like him last season didn't get any better this season. He always looks so confused and worried and he just gets on my nerves plain and simple. Plus his sister crush is weird...ugh. I feel like he didn't really a purpose but being disproportionate.
2. Diego- yeah so I actually really liked Diego the first season the hero complex was always there but he was really annoying about it with this one. I kept waiting for him to like do something great and save the day but nay. However the bullet thing was pretty cool I will admit. It made me very sad when Reginald was hella mean to him and triggered his stutter. I think they made worried about the wrong things like lila(not a fan but I'll get into that later) also wth why was there no klaus and diego interactions no ma'am I was waiting for that.
3. Allison- liked her a whole lot better and I think it's because of ray they were great. I feel like she really put herself into the 60s and was making a difference I really liked that. The whole staring at the moon bit had me worried but I think ray helped her get over that weird affliction she had...ugh. Lowkey not too much to say on her I feel she was okay I guess.
4. Klaus- as always a joy a pleasure. He will always be my fav. Him being a cult leader made so much sense and I would totally join tf. Anyways yeah the dave thing I'm upset about cause I really wished he had gotten through to him and joined his cult lowkey. But of course they don't want klaus to be happy they have to break his sobriety whyyyy. Speaking of not giving klaus a break I was very shook to say the least when ben died frfr who's gonna be klaus's moral compass and then that flashback😭
5. Five- five was five. I didn't really like him last season but this season he was ok I guess. Idk when I'm watching a show I kinda see the actor's and not the characters and adian is just an interesting fella so it distracted me. Like this is a weird nitpick but the whole time he was doing this weird walk thing that was bothering me then I thought about I was like oh yeah he's old but then old man him showed up and did not walk like that at all I was confused why he made that choice idk he was alright tho
6. Ben- ben's always great of course. I really wanted him to be with jill but in a normal way ya know. However him dying was very unnecessary for him to be alive at the end looking all emo cause they screwed up the tl. Like fr why did he look like that I giggled a bit
7. Vanya- to me vanya is a very bland character more so in season 1 though. She definitely got better with the help of sissy. This relationship felt more natural than that mess from season 1 even though she's married. Umm the whole idk who I am thing was kind of drawn out but I guess. I'm really just glad her power still worked and it wasn't no hulk in infinity war situation. She was also tolerable.
Non siblings:
Harlan- LOVED HIM. This might sound stupid but I've always loved the silent types like ferb from phineas and ferb was my fav. He was great I think the actor did such a good job portraying such emotion and not even talking. Theory alert: The end where he still has his power has to be in connection to the Sparrow Academy I feel it.
Reg- WTF...that's all
Lila- the goddamn bang omggg she was not likeable I'm sorry. Not a fan end of story.
Pogo- very cute. I got really sad when he almost died in space but the saved him whew I was waiting on him to say his first word but they left that out for some reason.
Swedish Bros- I felt sooooo bad for the last one he really had to kill his brother with his bare hands..cold
Elliot- actually I take back my previous statement f them they took my man elliot for no reason dawg. He was so sweet and helpful but I knew it was coming cause they can never let those kind of people live on Netflix (yeah I'm looking at you Stranger Things)
Herb- another great one I'm glad he didn't die instead a promotion a whole king he deserved it.
Overall though I liked it at times it seemed kinda slow I felt like they had no urgency at all even though they were in danger which was kind of irritating. The Reginald reveal and the end was kind of random I don't read the comics so idk but I was like huh. But it makes sense at least for the tl to be freaked they were telling all kind of info. I almost like I was expecting something completely different but it was still good. Definitely liked the first one more though. Robert Sheehan is everything so yeah.
#the umbrella academy#tua season two#tua#gerard way#luther hargreeves#diego hargreeves#allison hargreeves#klaus hargreeves#five#ben hargreeves#vanya hargreeves#robert sheehan#tom hopper#ellen page#david castañeda#the commission#i totally forgot to talk about the commission oh well#netflix#reginald hargreeves
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Ok so like,,,,,,,,,Concept
Mermaid au but All the sides are mermaids and Thomas is the only human among them
Like humans still exist and stuff and it's probably modern day but mermaids don't really...interact with humans much
They aren't really *dangerous,* since most people don't believe they exist anyways, but mermaids just. Don't see them much. They never come out to deep enough waters or come by the coast at the right times or stay long enough, and most mermaids don't see it fit to expose themselves anyways.
Idk what fish everyone is yet, I plan on looking that up later, honestly, but I've got some Other ideas.
Anyways uh,,,,,,Remus is totally the one who finds Thomas first
He was with Roman, the two of them just seeing if any humans were hanging out near the beach. They were about ready to leave to go back to where the others were (they have a little grotto they've claimed for themselves that most other mermaids don't touch, probably mostly bc Remus terrifies them)
And then Remus stopped, hearing a human singing a song. That sounded like it was underwater. And was *also* an ancient siren's song, wh-?
Remus grabbed Roman by the shoulders and dragged him back closer to the shore, telling him to listen.
Both sat stunned for a moment.
Mermaids have their own language that most humans can't understand; it's a lot of singing and humming and clicking + a few deviations for different species, like accents for humans. Most of this language is due to mermaids being descendants of sirens, though nowadays they have different, more complex powers that align with a species and then deviate between people, in some circumstances, though most of them still relate to singing in *some* way. (Dw, the boys are all getting their own powers.)
Mermaids can understand humans, but just barely, most of the time. This human though, he was singing something they understood loud and clear.
They took a spot on a rock near him, Remus hiding behind Roman a bit. (He's always been the scarier of the two, and Roman is more social anyways. Plus...it was an old habit left over from when they were kids, ok? Don't judge.)
When the man stopped singing, eyes opening, he took a moment to look around
and then simply *froze* when he noticed fucking *mermaids* right in front of him, what the hell-
Thomas was just singing an old song his parents had sung to him when he was a child, why are there fucking *mermaids* here??
Roman quickly explained that *yes* we're mermaids but also YOU were the one singing an ancient siren song
And then the dude was like 'oh yeah I'm hearin ya' and they were like 'HH???'
Slowly, they explained that 'dude humans usually can't understand mermaids and we can't usually understand them, wh-'
And then the man's face scrunched up and he began speaking human speak, eyes widening as he switched again. "...how the Hell didn't I realize I was speaking in hums and whistles."
"Ya might be siren born!" Remus chimed from behind Roman, sharp teeth grinning wide as he moved out from behind him a little more.
Thomas was just like '???' and so they explained that 'yeah you might have siren descendants, we have a friend who knows more tho'
The twins talked with the man a little more, finding his name was Thomas and he was coming out to the beach because he used to come here a lot as a kid. Not to mention that the sea was...calling to him, he felt, as it always had.
"Definitely siren born," Roman muttered.
Anyways, after a little more talking and the boys introducing themselves-Roman and Remus, twins-and their powers-able to create anything they desire with a certain song and the right ingredients-they told Thomas to wait there and got the other four.
Thomas didn't get to ask what the "power" they mentioned was all about, but he simply waited.
Roman and Remus returned with the others, the twins settling on the same rock and most of the others just popping up from the water.
They introduced themselves, one by one;
Logan, able to help anyone understand or learn anything by simply humming in their hearing range. He's helped his stupid friends figure shit out like this a few too many times. He knows a lot about many things, as well; his powers are *made* to help people learn, and it pulls him to learn enough to properly do so.
Janus, able to deceive or trick anyone he wishes with the right song. He's also able to make anyone believe what he wishes them to, which he usually just uses to basically go 'psst. Taking a nap is a good idea' to his friends most of the time. He is not easy to trick, but he has a habit of lying, as it is what his powers are made for. It's also very difficult to get him to believe anything besides what he does at the time.
Virgil, able to make anyone fear or not fear anything at all. This is rather useful for keeping others safe and keeping dangerous people and things away from them aswell, but he himself is rather fearful, a result of his purpose being to manipulate others' fears.
Patton, able to spread any emotion he pleases, and able to sense emotions. This is useful in helping the others calm down and making sure they're ok. He's very emotional, however, and is often scrambled with his own between broadcasting emotions and sensing outside ones. A part of him is naturally against feeling negative emotions, as he fears he may accidently broadcast them. And either way, he's made to spread good, *useful* emotions, right?
And Roman and Remus' repercussions; Roman can only make certain things and same for Remus. Twins often share powers in this way, split between them. They also basically never stop thinking about what things to make, which makes them a little spacey. Remus is also prone to violent creations, and Roman flowery ones, as that's part of their bias as two halves. When they work together, it's absolutely perfect. Their harmonies are known for their beauty, similar voices harmonizing perfectly to put together things neither could dream of making on their own. Of course, it does take quite a bit of harmony from the two themselves, but they usually manage it. (There's a chance part of Remus' hectic personality is due to people disliking his creations for their darkness, and that part of Roman's theatrics and happy tune is part of trying to keep his side of their creations, but that's a different story, and a problem they're working on anyways.)
After Thomas asks about the "powers" stuff, Logan tells him simple and clean; "due to the fact that mermaids are descendants of sirens, we often have our own versions of their ability to lure others in with their songs. For instance;" Logan gave a simple hum, and suddenly Thomas knew the random (but slightly pertinent) fact that twin mermaids often have powers split between them.
As for the rest of the AU, Thomas just generally learns more about mermaids and stuff and eventually, over some time and some investigating into his family history that *yea I'm a descendant of a siren holy shit.* Thomas' power seemed to be a rather weak version of ancient sirens'; he's able to attract people to him, basically. People hear him singing and go 'wow he seems super cool I should talk to him'. Like um...friendship powers. Literally friendship powers.
Which is uh. Probably part of the reason the sides ended up becoming friends with him in the first place.
I don't know exactly what ocean creature everyone is going to be yet, and it probably won't change their Power(tm) (wow I need a better name for those) but it miiiight change their role in their group a little bit/the headcanons I have for how everyone is going to act, so I'll have to wait and see. For now though, I'll give you the basic idea:
Roman and Remus are the chaos twins, of course. They go around creating whatever the hell they want, basically-within reason. Mostly. Remus scares off any other mermaids for the most part and Roman talks to the ones that seem nice and assures them that they're just trying to keep their little grotto safe. The two of them were abandoned and grew up pretty much alone. They only had each other. They've got a pretty unbreakable bond-oh and also they have an *infinite* amount of teasing material and inside jokes.
Virgil also instills a little fear in most of them of specifically *hurting* him and his friends/messing with their shit. It used to be pure 'yeah fear us' when he didn't have as good as a grasp on his powers and just Panicked anytime anyone came up but now he's more like 'yeah just leave us alone pls'.
Janus? Absolutely the local mom. Goes around forcing everyone to sleep well and to eat and to *preserve your goddamn voices you idiots, I know we all love singing here but our voices are Important ok-*
Also forces Remus to stop chasing local tiny fish and is the only one that can really keep him in line. (Roman can too, for the most part, but he doesn't rlly mind Remus' random shit for the most part.)
Logan usually leaves for at least part of the day to explore and find more things out. He exhausted most tests he could of the other fives' powers to understand them better in about the first month, but he still has it filed away in his Memory Brain. (And that memory of his is exceptional; another important part of what makes his powers useful, and thus extremely pertinent.) Other than that he's usually telling the others off for doing stupid shit or telling someone stuff if they want to hear. (One of the others sits down every couple days and lets him infodump on specific fish and stuff like that. Sometimes verbally, sometimes through his hums, depending on the day.)
Patton is usually goin' around spreading good feels and fixing any bad ones he finds along the way. He's always checking on everyone, always making sure everyone's happy and ok, and they make sure he is in turn.
Sidenote for the Glasses Boys: yeah no I don't think they have glasses. Maybe it's more like...hm...they were born with slightly weak voices, ones that were wobbly. A simple fix, just as glasses are; simply more singing, more training of the voice, and they're mostly up to snuff.
Second sidenote, mermaids can sing without using their powers, but it's fairly rare as most see it as a necessity rather than something fun. The sides love singing, though, and random singing without a meaning at all can often be heard ringing through the tiny little home they've carved out.
I just realized I don't know how they sleep. Idk if/how this is going to work depending on what ocean creatures I choose, but currently the plan is they sleep in piles on the ocean floor, inside their grotto/cave thing. Sometimes just a couple of them sleep together, sometimes they'll all pile on. Depends on who goes to sleep when and what piles you want to join. The rule, though, is no one sleeps alone. It's just not as fun, and Patton insists. And we don't ignore Patton in this household, ok?
The twins like/hate sleeping together on their own depending on the night, though they almost always sleep together anyways. Just the two of them reminds them out at sea, alone when they were kids, but it also makes them feel *safe.* On the nights it reminds them of sadder days, they usually just beg one of the others to join them for the night.
It's basically a rule that *someone* has to oblige.
The twins don't sleep right without each other, honestly. Sometimes, though, they need someone else there to remind them of where they are now.
Idk what I'm going to do with the others' backstories, really. If nothing else, tho, current plan is that mermaid parents usually work like ours do; they raise a mermaid until it's mature enough to be out on it's own. This can change between species, though, and is mostly decided by the mermaid and it's parents according to species, preparedness, and like 50 other factors. So it's not quite as set-in-stone as it is for humans.
Remus and Roman were *certainly* too young when they were abandoned; maybe 10 years old when most leave at 16 to anywhere around 24.
No one knows where their mother went. Not even them.
Also just realized they don't have ages,,,,,,,,h
Note: mermaids live longer than humans (around 150 yrs mostly, deviates slightly depending on species) but they still use human ages, since they mature at...kinda the same rate. Sorta. Thomas, of course, will be living a little longer than most; probably 120 yrs or so, as most of his family is known for. (His great grandfather holds the record for humans at 140 yrs. Probably only a couple lines down from that og siren.)
Roman and Remus: 23
Virgil: 22
Patton: 24
Janus: 25
Logan: 24
Thomas: 23
Mermaid lifespans would probably be a lot shorter if most predators didn't know not to fuck with them. Even animals can understand that mermaids are *powerful,* and can and *will* protects themselves. Most mermaids live peacefully, unless they try to fight each other, which is actually kinda rare since they're usually loners or in small groups like The Boys are and they're usually pretty spread out.
Idk if I'm gonna do any romance for this AU...I'm kinda not in the mood?? Feelin like lettin this just be friends bein friends yknow
Idk. I think that's it for this idea for the moment. I'll come back with any major ideas/those ocean creature designations later, so yknow,,,,,,,,hype for that ig
#sanders sides#ts roman#ts remus#ts patton#ts virgil#ts logan#ts janus#trash talks#long post#sorry for the long ass post guys. im on mobile so i cant add a read more. rip#im gonna call this the#mersiren sides au#for now#cause i feel like it fits well ig#creativitwins#lowkey. just a bit#bc im like. 90% love for brotherly creativitwins content at this rate#also uh. yeah! just in time for mermay!!! ...pfft#i get this idea literally 2 days into june. Hilarious#ts deceit#extra tag just in case#80% of this is random bullshit science lol
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*busts through the door like I'm the Kool-Aid man* BONJOUR FUCKERS I'M BACK!!! It is I, the Theatrical Gay Anon™! I hope you're ready to endure my endless babbling for a bit cuz I've got lots to say holy shit. Consider this part 1 of like, 1000 cuz I think Tumblr got rid of the submissions feature. I apologize in advance for the spam hehe.
Okay, with that out of the way. Ms. Yehet-Me-Up, may I call you Sarah? Sarah, what the fuck!? I can't even rn. I I give you a simple suggestion, no expectations behind it. I say "Hey, don't you think it'd be cool if Zitao was in the Exodus Mall universe?" to which you said "Yeah, that'd be neat, I might do that. Perhaps make him work at an Irish pub or something" and then I flip out with gratitude and excitement thinking you're gonna do like, a DRABBLE. 500 words at MOST -Theatrical Gay Anon
Imagine my SHOCK, my STUPEFACTION, upon realizing that you wrote OVER TEN THOUSAND WORDS about Huang Zitao aka the wind beneath my wings, the rain to my drought, the corny joke to my Junmyeon. And not only that! But you did this A MONTH AGO. I could've been reading this for so long and I had no idea! How foolish am I? I can't believe you wrote all of this based off of a silly little suggestion I made. I feel like bowing over how not worthy I am Wayne's World style -Theatrical Gay Anon
NOW IN REGARDS TO THE CONTENT OF THIS MASTERPIECE OH MY GOD WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN!? I am floored by your preeminence. First things first, the title? Perfect. Full disclosure, I suck at titles. I've been writing for over a decade now and I'm still shit with titles. It's so hard to come up with just a few words to encapsulate everything you wrote but you do it SO WELL. The moodboard? Amazing. I've always loved that picture of Zitao and it fits so well with the pub setting -Theatrical Gay Anon
I'm afraid you've written "Fractions of Tomorrow" so well that I don't see there being a need for anyone to write anything else...ever. Stories? CANCELED. Poetry? CANCELED. Biographies? CANCELED. It's all over folks. Sarah has written The Best Thing Ever. We've peaked as a society. After I finish writing these asks I'm gonna become a hermit in the woods and make friends with all of the woodland creatures that inhabit it. -Theatrical Gay Anon
But seriously though, I love absolutely everything about this story. As a Zitao fan, I'm used to getting breadcrumbs. Not a lot of ppl write fics about him. I can count on one hand how many long fics of his you can find on Tumblr. But THIS?? This was no breadcrumb, this was a whole fucking bakery. And it all appeals to me so much oh my god? The sappiness of it all, the flowery prose, the rebellious rejection of cynicism, it's all so beautiful I want to marry it. -Theatrical Gay Anon
If I discussed all of the sentences in this fic that made me giggle with joy and kick my feet around I'd be here all day so keep in mind this is just a FRACTION of the ones I loved but I couldn't go without mentioning at least some of them so here we go. "It’s not his first time here, but it’s his first time paying attention" SHUT UP this line is go good it's so simple yet so nuanced I adore it. Seriously, why hasn't anyone hired you to write a screenplay? -Theatrical Gay Anon
"He wonders if you ironed the collar of your shirt to be that precise or if you simply move through the world without acquiring any wrinkles" God, this line is so CUTE it's DISGUSTING he's fond of the reader's un-wrinkled clothes that's such a specific thing to like and is totally the type of thing I've done with the ppl I've crushed on throughout my life. -Theatrical Gay Anon
"‘Zitao,’ he says finally. ‘Cute.’ You say" this is such a little thing but I love that you included his full name in this. I love his full name so much it sounds really pretty. Whenever I hear him refer to himself as "Huang Zitao" in interviews my heart soars. Hearing him speak Mandarin in general is a delight as well. It's an audibly gorgeous language and any racist who says otherwise can EAT MY ENTIRE ASS -Theatrical Gay Anon
"For someone who’s been in love for as long as you can remember she fights awfully hard against Baekhyun’s romantic nature" DEAR GOD I LOVE THESE TWO! I love these movie loving lovesick fools. I love that everyone in the world knows they love each other except them. I love seeing bits and pieces of their story throughout this written universe. I can't wait to see it all come together in Baekhyun's Exodus Mall fic. It's gonna be GLORIOUS -Theatrical Gay Anon
Also! I know you enjoyed my song recs that I thought fit perfectly with All Our Broken Places so here are some for when the Baek x Hitchcock fic drops. I know it's not done yet but I just *know* what it's gonna be like I can feel it in my bones. "Sidekick" by Walk the Moon and "Tongue Tied" by Grouplove. As for Fractions of Tomorrow I knew right away what songs I'd pick. "Dreams" by The Cranberries, "Jumpstarted" by Jukebox the Ghost and "Don't Stop Believing" by Journey -Theatrical Gay Anon
Gosh, this fic filled me with so much energy and joy I feel like a toddler on caffeine. But I really should sleep now though. It's gotten so late that I can see the sunrise peaking up sdksdksl. I'll see ya soon! I will be spamming you with more compliments about this fic once I wake up though! - Theatrical Gay Anon
Hi! I'm back. Okay, now where was I? Oh yeah, I was talking about some of my favorite lines from the story. "‘Hey man, how’s it going?’ Baekhyun reaches out and does a complex handshake with the man before you. ‘Oh, you know. Just working at the salt mines,’ Tao says with a laugh." I LOVE that you made Baek the one Zitao was close with. I miss the beef brothers so much. I'll never forgive SM for what they did to OT12. They were all such good friends 😔 -Theatrical Gay Anon
"‘I’m not sure.’ For a flash Tao’s eyes linger on you once more. ‘I think it would depend on the person.’ And then the bastard goes and winks at you." GOD, HE WOULD DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS! HE'S SUCH A SHAMELESS FLIRT I HATE HIM *narrator voice* This was of course a huge a lie, he in fact loved Zitao immensely -Theatrical Gay Anon
"‘Sweetheart, I’m everyone’s type.’" You've captured Zitao's unlimited confidence so well and that makes me really happy. It's one of my favorite things about him. The man truly loves himself and I think that's awesome -Theatrical Gay Anon
"Tao looks at you through his lashes, bending close enough that you can feel his breath on your lips when he speaks. ‘Words are just the appetizer, darling. I prefer to have an entire feast.’ 'Any other questions or can I grab your orders?’" ASDKDSDSL SO YOU'RE JUST GONNA SAY THAT PANTY DROPPER LINE AND GO BACK TO BUSINESS AS USUAL ZITAO???? HUH??? IS THAT WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO??? -Theatrical Gay Anon
"‘Oh, nothing.’ He looks like the cat that caught the canary. ‘I just love being right.’" Something I love about EXO fic writers (myself included lol) is that despite all of the different ways they'll write the other members, there is one member who is always written the same and that's Baekhyun. He will always be written as a cheeky little shit cuz he *is* a cheeky little shit. That's just who he is. Messing with ppl is a favorite past time of his. -Theatrical Gay Anon
"'So, love, huh? There’s not some girlfriend or boyfriend of yours waiting for you at home?’" Thank you for not being heteronormative with the "are you dating someone?" convo. I know it might not seem like much but I really appreciate it. -Theatrical Gay Anon
"The beginning of love is always a lightning bolt. If that’s all it ever is you never have to deal with being knocked on your ass by the resulting thunderstorm" OOF, this one got me. So very true. The beginning of love is so scary! -Theatrical Gay Anon
"I could argue that anarchy still is love. Love of your beliefs and love of a person or a place or a thing so much that you’re willing to fight for it" OKAY BUT PASSIONATE LEATHER JACKET WEARING ANARCHIST ZITAO IN A ROCK BAND IS SUCH AN ATTRACTIVE CONCEPT!!! There's nothing sexier than a bad boi that will hate capitalism with you! He'd probably be the one to give ppl rides to protests and stuff I LOVE IT -Theatrical Gay Anon
"If we say love is a feeling, who’s to say that we aren’t in love? If we decide it’s an action then which one is it? A kiss or a commitment or - maybe it’s nothing more complicated than putting words to the way I feel when you look at me?" Listen I don't mean to be dramatic or anything (wait, who am I kidding? I'm literally the Theatrical Gay Anon being dramatic is like my Thing) but if a guy ever said that to me my trans boi pussy would be open for business IMMEDIATELY
Alright, so, uh Final Thoughts. This may be my new favorite work of yours, and no it's not just cuz it's got my ultimate bias in it lmao. This year has been so shitty and it's made my depression + anxiety reach the highest possible levels but reading this, this love story filled with hope and certainty despite not knowing what the future will hold for them, made this year seem easier to cope with. Thank you so much for making this, it means the world to me. -Theatrical Gay Anon
ALRIGHT, LAST ASK AND THEN I'LL SHUT UP I PROMISE but I personally headcanon that Double Shot + Zitao stayed together till the very end. They didn't get married cuz they hate formalities but they got matching tattoos and even when they're old and grey you can still them clear as day on their wrists. When they're asked how they met no one believes their answer lol. And when Double Shot died of old age before Zitao he would sing her favorite song by her grave every Saturday -Theatrical Gay Anon
OKAY SO I know I said I was done and I know I've already sent in like, 30 bajillion asks but I'm curious does Yifan or Luhan also work at the Irish pub?? Or do they work somewhere else in the mall? Inquiring minds want to know -Theatrical Gay Anon
When I tell you this made my entire month (when you sent it weeks ago, I’ve been hanging onto these because they seriously bring me SO much joy holy crap) I am not remotely kidding j;oaisjdflkasdjfa
I am absolutely going to put on these song recs while I work on the next chapter!
a;osdfjlaksdfjasl the fact that you stayed up late to read this warms my heart so much. It reminds me of all the times I stayed up til the ass crack of dawn reading fanfics because I simply could NOT stop reading, so the fact that you enjoyed this like that makes me helllllaaaa emo 🥰
I just??? 2020 was indeed such a long year and affected my energy and creativity and honestly don’t really remember writing this hahaha. I kind of go into a fugue state with these longer fics and they just EMERGE. So to see you reflecting back some of what I wrote allows me to enjoy the process so much more. Makes writing and tumblr fun and I seriously wish everyone writing and creating could have someone as passionate and thoughtful and hilarious as you hyping them up 🌟 it honestly feels like a GIFT and I will absolutely keep writing this series and hoping to be worthy of it 😘
We will definitely get to see more of these two in the finale fic! I got into EXO after Tao, Yifan, and Luhan left so I’m not quite as familar with their personalities, but I could definitely see Yifan working at the US Bank haha. Business suit by day and partying/flirting by night. As for Luhan I feel like he’d work somewhere like the bookstore or the music store?? somewhere quieter and more contemplative.
Thank you again for sending this and for being you <3 I hope 2021 is a wonderful year for you and that you know how AMAZING you are 💖💖💖💖💖
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My 10 Favorite WWE Matches of All Time (updated)
10: The 2001 Royal Rumble No matter how daft and stupid the product gets, I will never not stoke my head in around January. The Royal Rumble is my favorite match, but this one is my favorite favorite instance of that match. The pacing, the beautiful endurance of Kane, the hardcore interval (which Kane just decides to destroy), the Big Show returning after 4 months just to get shit-canned a minute into his run. There is so much to love about this mess. The preview of Rock and Austin that year for their Wrestlemania showdown. The fact that 4 or 5 of them (Rock, Austin, Kane, Undertaker, even Rikishi) could have been main event contenders. The best midcard in WWE history. Scotty 2 Hotty having the worst night of his life. Drew Carey just showing up. Bradshaw just cliffing everyone, because he's gotta get his shit in. Good Rumbles are like a 3 course meal, and this one is like all your courses at once, and then dessert is a treat you could die on. 9. Tyler Bate vs. WALTER - Takeover Cardiff Crowds make a lot of matches for me (thanks, 2020) but this crowd is especially electric, and for 24-year-old Tyler Bate, who is taking on a TANK, and that tank's name is WALTER, a TANK. But I will never not be a sucker for a David vs. Goliath story, and it was never better told than the boy made of thighs vs. the destroyer made of shattering palms. It is SO CARNY, so many feats of strength, so many OOOOOFS AND UUUUUURGHS that make this so great. Tyler was a hero on this night, but everyone knew he wasn't ready to win. Every feat is a magnificent reach. And it all means something to everyone. Make them what they know SHOULD happen and still surprise them with it. His "refusing to quit!" only to get shut down by a fucking chop. HE STANDS but is immediately ruined. It makes me. This shit fucking makes me. 8. Sasha Banks vs. Bayley, 30-Minute Iron Woman Match - Takeover Respect Most of this is just a remix of their epic and warranted classic in Brooklyn. but then Sasha takes the headband off of Izzy. And then they both stepped it up and were *amazing*. We somehow lost Bayley's "RAAAAAH'S and that's sad for me. But then they RAMP IT UP. NOBODY LIKES YOU. FUCK YOU. WE'RE HAPPIER NOW. (WE'RE NOT.) But seriously, Sasha taking Izzy's headband and then THROWING IT AT HER started something special, something grand. THE OUTRAGE. The bastion of heel heat. And then the match got better. They hugged at the end of their encounter in Brooklyn, but then they started poisoning one another. And it all started with this amazing match. (Also, Bayley's amazing red and gold robot tights.) 7. Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Michaels, Wrestlemania 21 Listen. HBK's 'Mania outings with the Undertaker are solid "match of the decade" contenders, piss-easy. They are peerless, they are in a league of their own. But saying they're your favorite? Unless you are an actual wrestler, that's like saying "UH, MY FAVE BAND IS THE BEATLES." Ya boring, ya basic, and we can all do better. And seeing how I'm in my late 30s, I understand wrestling a little different than I did when I made this list in...2016??? Christ. I bet AJ Styles vs. John Cena was on it that year. Two of the best performers, both in their prime, and looking back on it, I just prefer the mix of character dynamics at play. Angle is easily one of the best in the world, but he has such an inferiority complex, because he's an Olympic gold medalist who is told *nightly* that he sucks, and he CAN'T best Michaels. He keeps coming back, and he's so charming, so effortlessly good at this whole "wrestling" thing, and it's slowly making Angle, who SHOULD be all of those things, absolutely *spare.* And that informs so many spots and story moments in the match itself, specifically when Angle LOSES it and starts shouting at him, only to have a superkick partied under his face. Angle is one of the best ever because his wrestling acumen served his character, never once defined it. 6. Vince McMahon vs. Shane McMahon, Wrestlemania 17 I haven't gone back to watch the whole of Vince vs. Shane THAT many times. What I have done is watch the finish about 65 times. There is something so addictive and magical about that one pop, when Linda stands up from her chair, and the ENTIRE crowd stands with her. And I'll 100% agree that Vince's comeuppance - one slap, one hoof to the balls, a Mandible Claw and a Coast-To-Coast dropkick - is not NEAR the actual comeuppance he should have gotten for some of the deplorable shit his character got up to from around the Rumble to this match (two of which they've done their very best to scrub from history, they're THAT bad.) But it's the purest example I can think of, of that pantomime aspect of wrestling. Vince McMahon is a deranged bastard. He likes dumb, cruel, crude things, but his commitment to being the world's 2nd-worst lizard man makes some of the stuff that happens to him more richly rewarding than almost any retribution in any medium, ever. The final 4 minutes of that match, the crowd is a fireworks display. They rise, they explode, they rise and explode, over and over. And again, shoutout to my boy 2020 for making me miss a crowd THAT big having THAT good a time. 5. Adam Cole vs. Johnny Gargano - 2 out of 3 falls - TakeOver New York Now look, I'm not saying that NXT is essentially perfect for me, in terms for what I look for in wrestling. What I will say is that when it cooks, it combines the very best of indie stamina, choreography and stunt work with something WWE sometimes gets VERY right, and that is unabashed, unironic emotion. And it's not even that the intimacy of NXT being a smaller promotion has a denser, more specifically passionate fanbase. It's just the fact that NXT understands that so often, nuance and drama in wrestling doesn't come from promos, or swerves, or endless escalations of said drama, but from getting the FUCK out of the way and letting two of the best in the world *wrestle.* NXT is so good for providing context for the acts of jealousy, pride and entitlement, and then laying out a match that touches on all of these emotions throughout. This main event, built in two weeks, after a terribly-timed Ciampa injury, is actually VERRRY clever booking...disguised to look really simple. Cole starts the match as the crowd favorite, because he's the cool tweener everyone likes (with a catchphrase) to Gargano's unironic Disney prince. Over the course of Cole going all out, making subtle references to Johnny's feud with Ciampa, Gargano fighting from underneath, total fuck-off bastardry from the Undisputed Era (making poor Mauro Ranallo yell "YOU SNAKES!!") Maybe Cole WAS the better choice, but by the end of it, you didn't care. On that night, Johnny refused to lose, and the constant, exciting, *involving* wrestling dragged you to that emotional place. Damn right, you deserve it. 4. CM Punk vs. John Cena, Money In the Bank 2011 It might be a simple choice, but also, sometimes, it's really really gratifying to see a crowd who wants something get what they fucking want for once. A hot crowd makes a good match great, and a great match THIS. A crowd united, either for one guy, and against another, and in this case, BOTH. It makes every. Move. Matter. Trying to find a new angle on this match is like trying to find a new way to say fire is warm. And this crowd created a CAUSE. The no-sold pinfall, the attempted rehash of the Screwjob. Point out the botches if you must. The angle, the promo...it got my friends back into wrestling, a reason to care until the Shield. It's not the best, but it deserves to be. There is no wrestling crowd I wish I was more a part of. And I was at King of the Ring 1998. 3. Kurt Angle vs. Brock Lesnar, 60-Minute Iron Man match, Smackdown of September 18, 2003 It MAYBE was a bit of a "hipster" choice to name this my number 1 in 2016. But you know what? Bloody holds up. Two performers who feel "destined to do this forever," like a Triple H/Shawn Michaels, or a Kevin Owens/Sami Zayn. Possessed of freakish physical charisma, could go for days if pressed. Brock Lesnar, literally at the time ONE OF THE BEST ATHLETES in the WORLD being a lazy fucker and taking DQ points, laying the foundation of what Brock Lesnar would come to be known as. And Angle, in that rare position of everyone knowing he's the best thing going. Brilliant Lazy Asshole Brock and Certified Wrestling Machine Angle are two of my unironic favorite characters in all of wrestling, and it's a buffet of THAT. Like a Royal Rumble, only it's just two dudes, being the best they've ever been. 2. DIY vs. the Revival - 2 out of 3 falls - TakeOver Toronto "Tag team wrestling?" says main roster WWE. "What is this...tag team wrestling?" Well, this is it, at its absolute best. It's up there with Rey Mysterio and Edge vs. Chris Benoit and Kurt Angle from No Mercy 2002 for just brilliant, rock-solid tag team psychology. There are more story opportunities when there are more rules to break, how can WWE *not get behind that?* In terms of chemistry, both between opponents and between teams, in terms of callbacks like Johnny muscling through the exact same inverted figure four that lost them the belts in Brooklyn. It is a perfect match. Not an ounce of fat on it. And that closing sequence, of each member of DIY locking the Revival in their signature holds, and the men now known as FTR clinging to one another. It's probably the best tag match in the history of the WWE, and considering the caliber of tag matches on TakeOvers, is FUCKING saying something. 1. Daniel Bryan vs. Brock Lesnar, Survivor Series 2018 This match is everything I always hoped for. For the longest time, after the 2015 Royal Rumble debacle, when Reigns won, when simply everything we knew about storytelling said "no, of course it should be Bryan," I wondered what that 'Mania match would look like. If it were anything like this, I would have died a happy man. But then again, what makes this match so GOOD is that Bryan had just come back from an early retirement caused by head and neck surgery, and here he is, being dropped on his head and neck by Brock Fucking Lesnar, aka what would happen if the concept of "not giving a shit" gained corporeal form and starting shilling for Jimmy John's. The match gets really ugly, really fast, and Bryan takes us to uncomfortable places with his selling. It wasn't just the retirement angle, it was also the fact that Brock had turned out some REALLY lazy shit by that point in his career, so we had all mentally prepared for another finish-spamming early night. And then. AND THEN... Bryan hoofs him in the walnuts, hits the running knee, gives us the absolute closest 2-count of the decade, and then the fight is fucking on. Bryan went, over the course of 2 minutes, from never having a chance against Brock Lesnar to it being an *absolute certainty* that he was going to BEAT BROCK LESNAR. Anytime you visibly leave your seat every few seconds during a match, you know it's a special one. Again, it took me away, had me absolutely *screaming* at my monitor, elated, invested, and I don't know what more your favorite match can ask of you. But what happens when your favorite match isn't a match at all? No. 0: The Firefly Funhouse - Wrestlemania 36 I'm not kidding, it actually might be my favorite thing. It could be just my brain latching onto the Cult of the New, but I don't think so. It's not a match, I get it. It exists in a weird null-void outside of time and space, but mostly I am floored that they would broadcast something so virulently anti-WWE. Like, we talk of CM Punk and how WWE let him get away with all his little jokes and cut his little Pipebomb promo. But then WWE signed off on Bray Wyatt tearing the soul out of their business. Burying the biggest star of this generation, skewering and laying bare all of terrible WWE's terrible priorities, and also celebrating insider knowledge, wrestling history, and I just...love it. Right now, it's my favorite thing WWE have ever put out, because it did something they've never done before, told a story I didn't think they were capable of telling. And sure, it was Bray who told it, but I still can't believe it aired. But I am endlessly thankful that it did.
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