#like woof yikes

[binghe-malewife-goals]

This has been said a million times before but the way some people make Viktor jokes is a little 😬 a smidgen of yikes, perhaps 🤏

[theaceace]

imagining a world in which Simon agreed to go with Edwin and try to escape hell, imagining Simon developing an immediate and very inadvisable crush on the cute guy that just threw a grenade at a demon and Edwin's reaction to that, imagining the reaction of Charles Overprotective Rowland when he finds out that the guy Edwin insists on dragging along with them is one of the guys that sacrificed him to a demon in the first place, imagining the Night Nurse's face when three dead boys pop back through the door instead of two

[theres-whump-in-that-nebula]

I found my relatives who are estranged because they left the cult (among other, much more complicated things)… and through their friends list I found my creepy uncle who I saw exactly once in person, walking through a foyer at a funeral.

Now, I bear a striking resemblance to my late grandmother so I could theoretically scare the living bejeezus out of him… 👀 but I’m not going to do that or talk to any of them right now in any way; because I don’t want to open that can of wormssssssss

[finalgirlgretchen]

gonna try to do my own personalized version of 75 soft this week with my own wellness and self-care goals but i'm so so so bad at sticking to the rules i set for myself so. guys send me love and encouragement in inbox if u have a moment i SWEAR i'm gonna do it this time ❤️

[revvethasmythh]

like a lightning strike, I was suddenly reminded that there is a "what your favorite critical role ship says about you" video that exists and I am CACKLING at widobrave's being "you don't understand why anyone would bother with a happy marriage when there's some simmering, unspoken sexual tension right there" like jesus christ why are you calling a bitch out like that

[finleycannotdraw]

verdict on 3x08: too much relationship drama, not enough richmond himbos

[moonnue]

Show Off

Ascended!Astarion x Tav/Reader (2nd Person POV)

Rated E! It’s smut! 18+ only!

Word Count: ~2.5k

Summary:

When new guests arrive, Astarion always likes making a good first impression. He summons you, his beautiful trophy wife, to show everyone else just how much better he is than they are.

Notes:

Hello! Long time no see! I bring new garbage! :D Truth be told, I've got lots of WIP's. Just haven't been in the mood to finish any of them! Finally got around to this one. I was thinking: you know? We don't really see a lot of fics where Tav is just as fucked up as Ascended!Astarion. So, here it is! There is one named side character, Lord Wingate, that gets involved. I'm not sure what other tags to give this work, so if I missed a good one, let me know! (Or, hey, even if I missed a tag that could help people avoid this kind of story. I get it!) Anyway, hopefully you enjoy! ♥

—

"My Lady?"

You turn to the open doorway, where a servant stands. Poor dear won't meet your eyes. She's wringing her hands as she mutters, "Lord Ancunin has requested your presence in the throne room."

Your skin buzzes. It's been a while since he's made this request. Considering all the possibilities, you nearly shiver. You beckon her over with a crook of your finger. You watch with a wicked grin as she approaches, still avoiding your gaze.

"Don't be nervous, sweetheart." You say as you show her your back. "The naked form is nothing to be embarrassed about. You shall see once you undress me."

Soon enough, you're walking through the hallways bare. Shoulders squared and chin raised high. There are mixed reviews from the castle staff. Some are used to it, though each individual has their reaction despite it, ranging from modest to deranged. Others avoid looking at you altogether, just as that new servant girl tried to do in your quarters. Regardless, it makes you smile.

'Look upon me,' you think, 'And weep that I belong to him.'

Read The Rest on Ao3 ->

[mistymoth]

So I read these two chapters of a manga recently that were… advanced dead dove (I’ve read a lot of dark stuff because ~intriguing~ but still found it especially rough) but I read it right after it updated so there were no comments yet…

…just went back to read comments, and apparently we all weren’t alright after that 😭 I feel validated 🥲

[noirbatman]

brain self-sabotoge: I was scared of not being selected for an art grant at my school so i waited until tonight to type it up and literally was not able to submit it by ONE SECOND. Staying up for this grant has cut into my predicted sleep time bc i have to wake up earlier to go print photos for my class that are also due tomorrow.

the lack of getting shit done has nothing to do with motivation or interest and nothing feels real from meds + lack of sleep combo.

plz send a big hammer so i can finally sleep

[nny11writes]

WIP tag game

Tagged by @norcumii (kinda lol), I will NOT be putting all my WiP titles because good god I want to live thank you, there's, like, 300 of those minimum. I value my life thanks. But I also won't be listing the WiPs that are posted and in progress, since you can go check those out on Ao3. :p

In fact, there's so fucking many I'm doing a read more break and big sorry to my SW fans, but I'm more interested in writing SPOP atm so it's all she-ra my dudes.

Rules: In a new post, post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them and then post a little snippet of it or tell them something about it! and then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

However, this is a shit whack of WiPs and I ain't doing that. If you are a writer, I am tagging you. Yes you, the writer reading this from any fandom or doing original work you can share, this is me tagging you. Share your lists I wish to ask!!!

(Check out the explicit fic version here!)

SPOP

How to Quit You Vampire AU

A Rose Among the Heather

Catra cask of Am. Style

Unfun time travel

The Haunting of Brightmoon Castle

Rise up damned soul!

Catra and Emily fic

Catra and Adora

They live in burque I guess

Death

Hallmark movie au??????.

Sports Ball AU

Stain glass glazier

Assassin Collection

The ceremony of punishment is an exercise of terror

Bones

Chipped Catra

Catrapta modern AU beast island

Apple Tree Grove

Cop AU

SIS: mascatra pulled into cult escapes with Finn

NGL I kinda love Octavia

Missing Person: Catra Weaver

Zomboid AU

Are you hurt

Colony

Melog is a sweet lil shit

When I grow up

Selkie au

Video game world crash

C&SW coffee shop AU for enemies

Small packages

Red flag white

The one where others hear melog too

Glimmer exec Catra window washer

Catrapta repeated testing

Adora does actually fuck up frequently modern au

Catra is an Ordained Minister

Burger Marks

Modern au with powers

Window to the soul

Each time that we give a little bit (it comes back to haunt us)

Borked emotions

SIS – Lucifer is Loney

Catra and Bow – Magicless

Post canon things are hard man

Dicah and BbyGirl!Catra

MMO Voice Chat

Catras tough (cat girl shits real)

Failing at flirting

Princess and the Theif

Hawkdora fake dating

[evanbuckleysarms]

I'm sooooo glad that both of my cats love not only the most expensive wet food, but also the stinkiest wet food. Love this for me and for them.

[orangeocelotmartyn]

Cyan Centipedes (False, AntFrost, and Ren)'s reactions to Martyn's Velma outfit, part one

Part Two here

Ren: It's Martyn! Lookin'-looking fabulous! False: Oh my goodness, Velma! Ren: (in a bad Scooby-Doo voice) Ruh-roh! False: (through laughter) I don't think--I don't think that's the appropriate--use of that. Ren: (through laughter) Lookin'--whew. False: Zoinks. I...don't know, actually, if that's how you use that. Ren: That-that-that minidress is...quite high. False: It's not that--it's a miniskirt Ren: It's quite high up, isn't it? It's a little bit...miniskirt. Minidress? Miniskirt. False: It's a look. It's a look. Ren: It's, uh, woof. I mean--yikes. (Ren laughs) This is supposed to be a PG event, False. I mean Shaggy. False: I mean. Hm. Falsie. And--Ren? Ren: (in a bad Scooby-Doo voice) Rooby! Ruh roh. Ruh roh! False: (judgemental) Hm. How do-how do bits work? (at the same time as each other) Ren and False: I don't know. Ren: I don't think we-I don't think care, I don't think we have it in us. False: Look at this, like, look at this, wait--get-get all three of us in, get all three of us in. Ren: Look at the state of us. False: Where's Daphne at? Ren: Where's Daphne at? False: Wait, where's Daphne at? We need her. She's--she's good at, y'know, going in traps and stuff, getting caught by the monsters. Ren: That miniskirt, though, is...pbbbt (he makes a noise like he's exhaling out of his mouth to make his lips flap) Yikes. False: Dude! Stop going on about the miniskirt, okay? Okay? Ren: It's just so short, though! It's intense!

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

Spear baby: (is crying/being fussy)

Vaggie: (0:35-0:43) https://youtu.be/10oPGM2_ZAc?si=udKrX2fwrUDpP14O

Vaggie: (rocking baby) "Rock. Rock. Rock. Maternal gesture."

Husk: "Woof."

Cherri Bomb: "Yikes."

Niffty: (gleeful) "I'm in paaaaain!"

Vaggie: (annoyed) "What?"

Angel Dust: "'s not an incantation or magical girl attack move, Vaggie van Gay, ya can't just say Maternal Gesture! an' expect the kid to absorb a blast of loving family energies or whatever."

Vaggie: "Wow thanks and here I thought it was actually working and them screaming LOUDER was a good thing. Got any better ideas?"

Charlie: "Maaaybe if you tried singing to them?"

Vaggie: "...."

Vaggie: "...sleeeep little baby, shut up and don't cry... uh, one of your moms is hot, and other only has just one eye..."

Hotel Crew: (cringing.jpeg)

Charlie: "Maybe I should do the singing."

Vaggie: "What? Why? That was, educational right?"

Charlie: "Childhood education usually starts with like, um, shapes, single words! Basic emotions..."

Angel Dust: "Gay is a very basic emotion."

Charlie: "...body positivity and confidence building..."

Cherri Bomb: "The eye thing."

Vaggie: "What eye thing- I DO only have one-"

Husk: "And saying it like it's the opposite of your hot girlfriend?"

Cherri Bomb: "Yeah like, rude much?"

Niffty: "Don't pass on the self hate to the baby! Give it to meeeeeeeee~"

Vaggie: "Fff- fine okay, point made. I'm not good at baby lyrics."

Charlie: "Aww Vaggie noo- why don't you try just, singing like you would for me? Like when I'm scared."

Vaggie: "For you?"

Angel Dust: "Bit early for givin' a sex education innit- Youch!"

Husk: "Shut it."

Cherri Bomb: "Don't ruin the freaking mood!!"

Vaggie: "...."

Vaggie: (slow breath) (low humming)

Vaggie: "...you've, already found so much. So many hearts you've bound- so many lives you've touched."

Baby: (goes quiet)

Vaggie: "And~ in~ the ennnd... if it's all I have to say...."

Charlie: "More than anything~"

Baby: (staring up at them)

Vaggie: "More than anything... need you to know, I love you more than anything."

Charlie & Vaggie: "More than anything..."

Their baby: (sighs) (snuggles into vaggie's shoulder) (falls asleep)

Vaggie: "...."

Vaggie: (whispers) "... charlie?"

Charlie: (whispers back) "...yeah?"

Vaggie: "I don't wanna wake them up again but uh... I can't feel my arms."

Charlie: "Oh!" (giggling) "C'mon. Let's sit down. I'll hold you, while you hold them, so you don't have to be the only one holding them. Okay?"

Vaggie: (half listening) (busy staring at baby) "Okay. Sounds good."

Husk: (SNIFFLES LOUDLY)

Charlie: "....we'll do that aaaaafter everyone else goes back to what they were doing, that is."

Hotel Crew: (grumbles and leaves, using husk's wings as tissues)

They get a package from heaven later, after Cherri smuggles a recording of a moment to Sir Pentious via Lucifer and Emily. He sent them a music box (apple shaped of course) (no sharp edges)

When they open it, two little figures of them spin together with the baby snuggle between them, and the instrumental of their "more than anything" reprise starts playing softly. their baby is fascinated and holds it tight in their tiny claws, even long after they're fast asleep

[ohmotherwhereartthou-if]

I have a weird but hopefully adorable ask!

RO reaction to receiving the news that they or MC is pregnant with Octuplets?

(For Elio, MC brings 8 kids home and says these are our kids now :)

Woof, Lord have mercy!

Cassandra: When the doctor reported that there was more than 4 heart beats in there... Girly was lightheaded for hours trying to contemplate. You can bet top dollar after this you both are not ever having any more kids, this is the first and last time.

Valeria: Laughs. Laughs in disbelief and wonder, she didn't even think that was humanly possible. I mean, she is a twin herself to having two or even three in one go was plausible but...8? Good Lord grant her patience, because you two can kiss sleep goodbye.

Tomás: Nah, my man definitely passed out for a few moments. Goddamn, 8?! That's insane, normally he would take majority of the 9 months wrapping his head around being a dad, but now he's gotta come to grips he is having 8 in one go? Yikes.

On the plus side however, he would prep like a mf. 8 hand-made cradles and adjustments were made to the dining table to he could fit all 8 of the little ones into makeshift high chairs. He is literally making a blueprint of the house and trying to figure out how he is going to fit them all into their respective rooms when they are older. He kinda wishes he had more money so he could afford to give them all their own rooms, he would low key debate asking his mom for some money but his pride ultimately would not allow it. He settles on separating them by gender for now, it would be funny af if he got 7 boys and one girl though. Heavens know that girl would be a such a daddy's princess.

-

Ludovica: I worry more on her health tbh, she would worry the whole pregnancy that she would miscarry. So by the end she is so happy they arrived safely and healthy, she honestly would be very overwhelmed by the number of them though. Vica would benefit greatly from having a small family but she would not complain to have all 8. She might make a case that you guys need to hire a few nannies though, she would be very involved with all 8 of her kids but it is all a bit too much for her though.

Aurelio: The best one out of all the RO's that is fit for this situation. He would still 100% throw up upon receiving the news however, goodbye freedom. He would shape up quick and allocate many of his spare rooms in his manor for his kids, no more overnight stays for any party guests that is for sure. He would hire one nanny, aka a governess, for the kids so that he can work comfortably and MC can have some help. His kids will all turn out 100% like him, read that one other RO as parent's ask to see what I mean by that. The havoc these kids will cause on the denizens of Romandi are unspeakable, however I feel like the home life would look a lot like 'The Sound Of Music' (my absolute favorite comfort movie btw) but how the family is at the end. Constant trips, fun games, and a huge loving family. The kids would also probably be similar to those kids from that movie. Putting frogs in people that they don't like clothes lol.

Elio: I mean... He would have questions as to why you suddenly decided that your shared apartment sized home should now be an orphanage. My mans would be shook but also not turn them out, he would at first want to find them all proper homes but I can see he would quickly get attached. He does 100% MC to find or have a job to support all of these kids properly, he would help (by being a house husband) but it would fall mainly on MC to figure out how are you both going to take proper care of these kids in the long term.

[ehlihr]

Move In Day!

comic for class

Transcript under cut.

Page 1 Nod: Vell, does it make sense to you? Foley: … Like… Sorta? Nod: Ech! You useless, pathetic little freak- Foley: Hey! Nod: Fay-rouuuuuuuz! Foley: Ugh, not Fayrouz. Fayrouz: Yuh-huh. Nod: Get in here! Foley is beink useless to me. Fayrouz: Yo-kay.

Page 2 Fayrouz: Classic Foley. Foley: Rude! Fayrouz: So- What’s the deal? Nod: Sigh! Foley: So dramatic. Nod: So… there vas this voman- Fayrouz: Hot. Go on. Foley: Oh moons, not this again.

Page 3 Nod: I was on the subway, going southbound. And as I stepped onto the platform- I felt the hair on the back of my neck rise. And I fucked up, I think- I made eye-contact.

Page 3 Nod: I was on the subway, going southbound. And as I stepped onto the platform- I felt the hair on the back of my neck rise. And I fucked up, I think- I made eye-contact.

Page 4 Fayrouz: Ooooh. Foley: Yikes. Fayrouz: Yeesh. Foley: I mean- that’s like the golden rule- Fayrouz: Woof, I mean… making eye contact? Jeez… Nod: I know. Fayrouz: Like, who knows what she was. Nod: I know. Foley: Smells like fairy to me. Fayrouz: Oh, that was totally a fairy. Nod: I know. Foley: Classic fairy. Fayrouz: The last thing we need in this house is fairy shit. Nod: I know. Foley: Was she even hot. Nod: Yes. Nod: Vell, it’s not like I told her my name, you clowns. Also, ve vere goink opposite directions, so- *KNOCK KNOCK* Nod: Oh fuck Foley: Oh you really fucked it, Nod. Fayrouz: You literally jinxed it- that’s fairy shit.

Page 5: Fayrouz: I could hex her. Foley: I could eat her? Nod: Both of you stop. I’ll go and get the door. Vatever. Foley: Hate that idea. Nod: God, shut up, Foley.

Page 6: ???: Hello!!! Foley: Oh fuck! Fayrouz: Oh, she knows we can’t say no- Nod: Vell… at least ve have a spare room.

[chemicallywrit]

Happy Audio Drama Sunday! What a week! Let's talk about audio drama!

⏰ Nine To Midnight has its own feed now, which I appreciate, as a listener to many of the involved pods, because I didn't get like six iterations of the show in my feed. I did have to go seek it out though, but I'm so glad I did. These stories!!! These STORIES. The second episode in particular stuck out, just banger after banger. Also, what's up David Ault! Always fun to watch David Ault flex.

😈 Dungeons and Daddies this week was on the short side, but woof. I. Love. The Stamplers. I love them. I love you Ron Stampler and Terry Jr. Stampler and Scary Terri Marlowe Stampler. They are ridiculous and excellent. Honestly though, their wonderful energy was just the prelude to the truly heartbreaking Close clan. These boys are so deep in denial they ought to be worried about the bends. Yikes. I'm really looking forward to watching them try to save hell and make up for lost time.

⚡️ Electromancy! Of COURSE it's all happening at the dance. What kind of school story would this be if everything wasn't going to go down at the dance? Like with all fantasy about young people, I love the mixture of extremely high stakes (colonialism and revolution) and extremely low stakes (but what am I going to WEAR). I can't wait for part two. @electromancypodcast

👟 Keep It Steady!!! New episode of Keep It Steady! Our teenage burnout is faced with the mortifying ordeal of having real friends who love him, which is a wild thing for a teen to have to accept when he has zero self esteem. And then on top of everything, he gets concussed! My boy! @keepitsteadypod

⚖️ The Adventure Zone Imbalance has appeared on the feed, which is a relief to me, a person who hates listening to things on youtube. And Davenport is there! My main man! If y'all need to know anything about me, it's that I love Davenport. I missed these guys so much.

🚀 Travelling Light is a new show from @monstrousproductions, and I am THRILLED. I love a travelogue, I love a character with ties to religion, I love a warm scifi show, I love a recipe. I know from their tumblr that the writer and narrator of this show is Quaker, which is a tradition I'm not very familiar with, so I'm interested to see how that perspective influences this story. It's just so NICE.

👻 I started listening to Magenta Presents this week, in an effort to listen to everything Lindsay Sharman has ever done, and this is spooky. Beth Eyre is always a treat to listen to, and Lucy Roslyn, whose work I am not familiar with, is also a fantastic actor. They have great chemistry. I love a true ghost story, and I love a protagonist who feels like she's slowly losing her mind. @longcatmedia

🪓 I've finally arrived at the bit of Woe.Begone where other actors are showing up, and surprise! It's David Ault again! He's everywhere! I haven't interacted with fans of this show, so I had no idea, and apparently fans hate his character. To be fair, I did too, but now David's here doing the voice, and it's so much WORSE. Well done, David.

🍕 I finished s1 of Gastronaut and started s2, and I find myself enamored with this guy, coming from a place of relative privilege, tearing his preconceptions apart with a fork and a knife. The writing is lush, the story is fascinating, and it really hits the spot for me of "moody thoughtful nonfiction." I love it so much. I can't believe there are only two seasons. How dare they. (I trust them though.)

🧛🏻‍♀️ Re: Dracula is done, and we have announced Carmilla! My role in Carmilla will be less than it was for Drac, but I'm still very excited to get in on making this story. It's going to be amazing.

🧟‍♂️ The Dead's second episode has appeared, and I am continually impressed with the people I work with. What a death scene from Marquis Moore! What good acting from Brandon Nguyen! They are a joy to direct.

As for me, I'm about to start getting Inn Between ready to post! Are you hype? I'm hype. If you like what I do and want to give me a hand, please check out my ko-fi!

See you next week!