#chagige spear child au thing

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

Spear baby: (is crying/being fussy)

Vaggie: (0:35-0:43) https://youtu.be/10oPGM2_ZAc?si=udKrX2fwrUDpP14O

Vaggie: (rocking baby) "Rock. Rock. Rock. Maternal gesture."

Husk: "Woof."

Cherri Bomb: "Yikes."

Niffty: (gleeful) "I'm in paaaaain!"

Vaggie: (annoyed) "What?"

Angel Dust: "'s not an incantation or magical girl attack move, Vaggie van Gay, ya can't just say Maternal Gesture! an' expect the kid to absorb a blast of loving family energies or whatever."

Vaggie: "Wow thanks and here I thought it was actually working and them screaming LOUDER was a good thing. Got any better ideas?"

Charlie: "Maaaybe if you tried singing to them?"

Vaggie: "...."

Vaggie: "...sleeeep little baby, shut up and don't cry... uh, one of your moms is hot, and other only has just one eye..."

Hotel Crew: (cringing.jpeg)

Charlie: "Maybe I should do the singing."

Vaggie: "What? Why? That was, educational right?"

Charlie: "Childhood education usually starts with like, um, shapes, single words! Basic emotions..."

Angel Dust: "Gay is a very basic emotion."

Charlie: "...body positivity and confidence building..."

Cherri Bomb: "The eye thing."

Vaggie: "What eye thing- I DO only have one-"

Husk: "And saying it like it's the opposite of your hot girlfriend?"

Cherri Bomb: "Yeah like, rude much?"

Niffty: "Don't pass on the self hate to the baby! Give it to meeeeeeeee~"

Vaggie: "Fff- fine okay, point made. I'm not good at baby lyrics."

Charlie: "Aww Vaggie noo- why don't you try just, singing like you would for me? Like when I'm scared."

Vaggie: "For you?"

Angel Dust: "Bit early for givin' a sex education innit- Youch!"

Husk: "Shut it."

Cherri Bomb: "Don't ruin the freaking mood!!"

Vaggie: "...."

Vaggie: (slow breath) (low humming)

Vaggie: "...you've, already found so much. So many hearts you've bound- so many lives you've touched."

Baby: (goes quiet)

Vaggie: "And~ in~ the ennnd... if it's all I have to say...."

Charlie: "More than anything~"

Baby: (staring up at them)

Vaggie: "More than anything... need you to know, I love you more than anything."

Charlie & Vaggie: "More than anything..."

Their baby: (sighs) (snuggles into vaggie's shoulder) (falls asleep)

Vaggie: "...."

Vaggie: (whispers) "... charlie?"

Charlie: (whispers back) "...yeah?"

Vaggie: "I don't wanna wake them up again but uh... I can't feel my arms."

Charlie: "Oh!" (giggling) "C'mon. Let's sit down. I'll hold you, while you hold them, so you don't have to be the only one holding them. Okay?"

Vaggie: (half listening) (busy staring at baby) "Okay. Sounds good."

Husk: (SNIFFLES LOUDLY)

Charlie: "....we'll do that aaaaafter everyone else goes back to what they were doing, that is."

Hotel Crew: (grumbles and leaves, using husk's wings as tissues)

They get a package from heaven later, after Cherri smuggles a recording of a moment to Sir Pentious via Lucifer and Emily. He sent them a music box (apple shaped of course) (no sharp edges)

When they open it, two little figures of them spin together with the baby snuggle between them, and the instrumental of their "more than anything" reprise starts playing softly. their baby is fascinated and holds it tight in their tiny claws, even long after they're fast asleep