#like woman if the both of you die because you love psycho men what am i going to do??? go to prison for life. that's what

[fingertipsmp3]

My friend just laugh reacted to one of my messages and said "you should have a blog, you're hilarious." Who's gonna tell her

[dangermousie]

Say You Love Me - done

Was it a good drama? Objectively perhaps not. But it was worth the price of admission to see incredibly solid acting from everyone (this drama is old, and so it did not suffer from the phenomenon of idols who may be talented in other things but have no experience with acting being put in just for looks) and tackle themes and characters modern dramas don't really care for - I mean, the gender reversal itself with the two women being the doers and the drivers and both men being passive willing or unwilling recipients of what they dish out is fascinating. Byung Soo, our ML, was a tall, well-built Victorian maiden, suffering over loss of chastity and falling ill from angst and needing permission to take any action and second ML was willing to enable SFL to bang other men as long she wanted it. The two women literally fought and then men only wept. It was also remarkably character consistent; Byung Soo was a lovely sweet puppy of a person and the drama showed what a freaking drawback or even cruelty that could be. (I am still impressed that Kim Rae Won, who in my head is associated with these totally alpha types, played such a weak, submissive, beta boy (because I can't really call BS a man between his youth and personality) so well).

Anyway, eps 12-15, let's go. ML and FL have finally had enough of their psycho significant others and ran off to the same place. This is the first time we see them happy in eps and eps. For someone who was obsessed with his smile, SFL really made sure he never smiles again, this is the first time we see his smile in eps and eps.

But they can't get back together because he feels unworthy and also because SFL has basically terrified him into thinking she will die if he leaves her (which is deeply ironic in light of what is about to happen.)

Because his granny dies (and SFL chooses to bring up what he did with FL at the freaking funeral, because the woman knows no shame or time/place, god when FL dragged her off and they had a fight, it was glorious.)

And that is basically the last straw for a dude who was already contemplating suicide a while back and that was before everything else that got dumped on him. And so our Victorian Maiden ML aka monk boy literally collapses into a unconsciousness and is likely to die from EMO AND STRESS AND ANGST. God, I love this drama.

SFL decides a great thing to do to an unconscious and possibly dying man is to move him from the home he grew up in to her apartment because she doesn't like looking at pictures of him with others in the place. She also doesn't let his friends visit (I am not saying FL, I am saying dude friends) because "I am his wife." She is so insane, her brain should be dissected for study. The best part he's utterly unconscious but he keeps weeping FL's name non-stop over and over and over as SFL is slowly driven insane by that. GLORIOUS!!!!

SFL is, as always, making everything about her - someone else's suicide attempt, funeral of someone else's loved one, someone else's childhood trauma, and now someone else's unconscious murmurs are all directed to torment her, the real victim.

This cracked me up - she always says that when he's about to die but the moment he's not literally on brink of death, she's all...psych!

Bwahahaha how I enjoyed this.

And then they are all so yeah he's dying. Why it does not occur to anyone to take him to the hospital is beyond me. Unless they know it's a Victorian Emotional Illness (tm) so no hospital can be cured. So SFL finally caves and lets FL in to see him.

Guess who magically gets better? Heeeee.

Anyway, YC makes sure he's OK and peaces out. SFL is all fine fine you can go to her, my boy toy, mainly because I think she's (a) finally realized he's literally gonna die at the pace she's going and (b) he's literally ready to bolt anyway, even his obedient self can't take it any more. But also the way he basically desperately asks for permission - I roll my eyes at melo cliches a lot but the power imbalance in this is honestly kinda awful, not just because he's so nice/weak and she's so neither, but because he's so much younger and so much more inexperienced in life and like dude, it's almost like she kidnapped a high schooler and locked him up in her basement.

Except of course she renegs yet again but at this point even the spineless SML has had enough and basically tries to drum some sense into her. But also SML tells her he loves her and I think this helps her because this psycho needs to cling to SOMEONE. So puppy is finally free but that whole being in his house with wedding photo etc was last straw for FL and she's all I don't want him back, it's all too painful, I want no relationship thanks...

But of course it doesn't last long because they love each other like mad and all they need one little push from their fam where they send a clip from her old diary to them blah blah. The way he runs to their place and finds his old bike and she's left there his chastity necklace (yes, I know it was true love necklace but we all know what it was, she even labeled it something like "BS is only mine" necklace back way when) and, more importantly, the paper with "Tag" eeeee! (reference not to just their childhood but their breakup when she told him he has to stay away until she unfreezes him and tags him and then he can come find her.) AAAAAAAA

This is adorable!

Meanwhile SFL swans off overseas to happy bliss with SML, utterly and gloriously unpunished for all the awful awful stuff she pulled.

Moral of the drama: Never stick your dick in crazy.

Or perhaps, maybe if you didn't teach them so much abstinence, dude wouldn't have lost his mind to hormones and avoided all that misery.

Oh, and I really now want to know how heavenly his hair must be for FL to be so obsessed with it she can't think straight.

Anyway, it was a fun ride, and I am just glad I finally found another rare Kim Rae Won drama where he doesn't die or his OTP doesn't die. That man is drawn to misery.

[lenacker]

To Raise an Eaglet

Kuchel and Levi’s life in my Meet The Ackermans Modern! Rivetra AU

This is my longest work yet, Word count : 2654 words

"So you're not coming here for Christmas?" Kuchel holds her phone to her ear with her shoulder, while cutting the vegetables on the cutting board. She was preparing some special stew from her beloved son’s cute, little family.

"No, I’m working on a very important case, Mom. I.."

"Wait, wait," Kuchel wiped her hands to her apron, re-do her ponytail, and now holding her phone with her hand, meanwhile the other was on her hips. "don't say you're not even coming home to Petra for Christmas Eve? For fuck's sake Lev, that's intolerable! That’s your very own birthday! Don't put your work before your family! If they're gone then who are you working for?! What's the use of money when you have no one to spend it with? Seriously, I don't remember raising a man that's ........" 

Levi took a deep breath, putting his phone on the desk while his mom kept rambling here and there. He loves her so much, but she always talks too much for her own good. Sometimes he even wondered how they share the same genes with the difference between their amount of words they can say in one breath.

When he put the phone back to his ear, he didn't hear the nag of his mother. Instead, the woman he heard since he remembered sounds like she's on the verge of tears.

"..... but I guess it can't be helped, huh? It's okay then, it doesn't like I've prepared anything, anyway. Say hi to Petra and the boys for me."

Kuchel sighed, pushing herself with her hands against the countertop, and looked to the ceiling to prevent her tears from falling. Why is she crying, anyway? It's not going to be her first alone Christmas! She spent plenty of them alone, trembling from the cold (and starvation if there are not enough customers in the brothel). 

Until one Christmas when she’s 20, she got a great gift she never even dared to imagine, a beautiful, little bundle of joy she named Levi. He came with such unbearable pain, blood, and tears but the moment she heard him scream and laid her eyes on him, no, even from the first time she felt her baby's move, she knows she wouldn't be alone anymore. 

I'm gonna protect you, she whispered while cradling Levi's tiny head against her chest, tears streaming from her tired eyes, We’ll live a better life together.

Life felt less ugly for a while. She had to hide her baby whenever a customer came, but it gets less lonely with a cute baby looking at you with such wonderful blue eyes. She hopes he doesn't grow up so he won't understand what kind of world they live in.

But of course, he grows. And in the process, Kuchel saw how unfit the environment they're in for a child's development. She saw how Levi started to laugh less, his skin pale and almost translucent. He stopped saying 'I love you' back when he's around four, instead, he would just hug her silently. He stopped moving when he had to hide from her customers in the tiny cupboard, not moving an inch. Not making any sound. It made her worried sick, she couldn't see if he's ok from the bed. Can he breathe properly? Is it normal for a 4 years old boy to stay still for hours?

At the age of six, he looks like a very malnourished four years old vampire-boy. His voice became raspy, his eyes darken, his cheeks sunken. In their city, it's difficult enough to find decent food when you have money, it's even harder when you don't. Sometimes he would give her some crumpled money he somehow finds, tells her to keep it to buy a new house so no scary men come to hurt mommy. That's also the year when she realized she has the disease that has been spreading around. Of fucking course. The disease takes over her entirely. In just a month, she can't even get up from her bed, her body feels like it's on fire. 

And the worst thing, she can't work nor provide food for little Levi. But he never asks for it either. He stayed with her on the bed, caressing her face with his bony hand. Around midday, he would get up, go for an hour or so, and come back with some half-decent food and bruises. Her heart ached every time he put the food inside her mouth, whispering 'please get better, mommy' with his raspy voice. 

She hoped she could ask him where he got the food and the bruises, tell him there's no way she could get better without any treatment, or simply say thank you because she's the one who was supposed to find food, but she couldn't force any sound out of her throat. Sometimes she sheds some tears, which Levi always reacts with a sad 'sorry mommy, I can't find better food'. It hurts even more. Sometimes she wondered if keeping him and bringing him to this cruel world is a mistake. Or if she's being selfish to want a friend in her lonely life.

Then she decided to give up. She kept her eyes shut, feeling how her body struggled to keep her alive. She let the darkness consume her.

-

But she didn't die. She didn't know how much time was passed but when she started to gain consciousness she heard the beeping sound beside her. 

Where am I? Her body does not hurt as much. She opened her eyes and was welcomed with Levi's beautiful blue-grey eyes right in front of her own.

"Levi?"

Wait, did she just talk? Did she really make a clear, understandable word? Well, that’s the first.

She observed her baby's face and noticed how he looks .....more like a normal child. She raised her hand to touch his surprisingly slight chubby cheeks, but he's faster. He moved down to hug -more like crushes, actually- her. He buried his face to her cheeks, mumbling long incoherent words to her cheeks. She felt how her cheeks moisten by his warm tears, how his body trembled, and wondered how she even thought of leaving this precious boy. 

"There's Kenny," Levi said once he calmed down, "he brought Mommy here and taught me to fight" then he proudly showed her some of the moves she recognized as Kenny's with a paring knife.

Kenny was a weird one, he always was. He's her only brother, but he never acted like one nor was there for her. He went to jail for killing some folks when she’s about ten. The last time she saw him was when she's pregnant, and he told him to abort her pregnancy. Of course, she refused, so he left without saying anything. 

"What did you do with Kenny, baby?" Did he teach you anything bad? killing people? He's a little bit psycho. Much to her relief, they just have some knife and martial arts training, then eat whatever food Levi wanted. Well at least her brother gave him food and brought her to the hospital. At least he keeps Levi alive even though he never approves of his presence.

A few weeks later, she's allowed to leave the hospital. She has been unconscious for three months, apparently. Kenny came, he took care of the administration and payment, drove them to a simple-clean apartment, left some money then left without any unnecessary words. They have never been a normal sibling with a heartfelt relationship but still, Kuchel hoped he would say something, where does he live now, why did he come, does he have any wife and kids, anything. 

And so, their brand new life began. In the morning Kuchel would bake some simple cookies, walk Levi to school while giving her cookies to shops along the street then she went to a supermarket near their home, where she worked as a part-time cashier. Then when her shift has finished, she picks her son home and takes her money from the shops. 

Years passed, their life gets better every day. Levi had poor social skills, but he managed to befriend two nice, orphan kids; Farlan and Isabel. Like everything he loves (Kuchel herself, a hand knife he got from Kenny, multi-functional stain remover, etc.) he was a bit overprotective. She had to meet the headmaster more than three times during Levi's first two months because her son 'created a commotion' when the only thing he did was protect his friends' dignity with his fists. She didn't think it's bad. Kuchel always knows Levi is such a kind and sweet boy, he just prefers to show his crude side (from Kenny or their previous place, she's not sure). So instead of telling him to stop fighting bullies, she told him words can hurt more than any blow. And it turned out surprisingly well, he never 'created trouble' again. (Saying hurting words is not considered trouble, how weird).

In the blink of an eye, Levi became a handsome man wearing an immaculate suit, kissing Kuchel's cheek before leaving to go to his office for the umpteenth time. 

"Don't forget to find me a daughter-in-law," she said teasingly, handing him lunch. Her son pretended to look disgusted, then smiled softly "I don't think I can find someone as pretty and amazing as you, Mom. See you!" 

Ever since he turned 30, she kept reminding him that 29 is the average marriage age for a male and he would answer with the answer he just gave her this morning, or "Nobody would want to marry a grumpy, constipated looking man, Mom" or, "I will once I find the right one". 

Kuchel knew her son was admired by many (he always bring home at least two bags of chocolates on Valentine's Day), he's good-looking (not that tall due to the malnutrition in his early years, but still, even the old lady next-door had mentioned that he's hot). His salary as a detective at the Criminal Investigation Department is high enough to afford both of them that he forced her to quit working and enjoy life. But she's as stubborn as he is, so she sneakily still bakes some cookies and sells them to a bakery far enough from his office. 

About two hours later, right as her oven timer rings, the front door of their apartment opened, revealing a furious Levi. He only wears his shirt and trousers, the suit he initially wears this morning in his hands. Thankfully he didn't notice the freshly baked cookies because he’s too busy muttering curses angrily, something about an airheaded, bitchy woman. 

Woman? Well, that’s interesting. Kuchel couldn’t recall when’s the last time her son mentioned anything about women (never). Aside from Isabel and Hange 'shitty-four eyes’, that is. She raised one of her eyebrows, wondering if this could be the beginning of the hater-into-lover relationship she often watches at Korean dramas. 

“Oh, you’re home early. Something happened?” she asked as neutral as possible despite her giddiness, leaning against the doorframe of Levi’s bedroom. He was buttoning his white shirt, annoyance still clear on his face. However, he forced a grin. 

“Nothing, Mom. Just a friend of Hange’s. She smeared some cake cream on my suit. Don’t know what she’s thinking.” Kuchel nodded understandingly, what a daring girl to do that.

“Is she pretty?” She asked once more, already imagining a scheme upon how they would fall madly in love. 

Her son looks surprised, or somehow like someone who just remembers he forgot something important. He took his tie and walked to her, letting his mother tie it around his collar. (She secretly appreciates how he let her do it, despite knowing how to do it himself. It makes her feel needed) While she ties the red garment, Levi looks intensely to her eyes and mumbles, “ShehasbigeyeswiththesamecolorasyousoIguess.…”

Throughout the years, Kuchel noticed that despite being sweet and kind (to her, at least), her son has difficulties showing feelings he deemed ‘bad’ or maybe ‘weird’. He usually mumbles lengthy sentences that she learned to interpret. Like that time when one of her customers hurt her, 4 years old Levi tried to wash the blood and mumbles how he wanna be stronger and hurt the man back, and how he loves his mother. Or when she woke up in the hospital. Or when everybody in his class praises him for shaving his head when one of his classmates had cancer. Or every time he presented her with a bunch of flowers on Mother's Day. That habit is still there, evidently. 

She simply smiled, deciding to not tease him any further. She patted his chest, telling him to go back to his office, and let the topic go. 

But apparently, the Hange’s airheaded friend story doesn’t stop there.

About a month later, Levi went to watch a musical titled Hamilton with Hange. He always likes musical shows, mainly for the elaborate choreography. She didn’t expect her son to get home so late, and grumpier than ever. She asked him why, but he dismissed her. She didn’t need to wonder for long, because Hange called her (it’s not even a rare occurrence, they’re so close that they often call her randomly in the middle of the night). 

"I tried to set him with my roommate," they said, "Petra is a very sweet girl, not to mention that she's clean and pretty short. She's pretty much perfect for him. I tried to push them into the stuck-in-the-elevator scenario, but I guess Levi ended up saying the wrong thing that Petra smeared her cake -that I ordered- to him. Of course, I didn’t just give up. So, I ordered two Hamilton tickets -it was soo expensive and hard to find!- anyway, I gave one to Levi and another to Petra, and pretend that I'm the one who'll go with them" They talked in a very Hange way, fast and passionate. They sounded really proud of their plan.  “Do you want to meet her too? I bet you two will connect instantly, Imma send you her bakery’s location, how’s that?”

So, the next day Kuchel visited Petra’s bakery and immediately fell in love. She’s like….a sun personified. Like, even her entire appearance was so bright and fun. Her hair was shoulder-length wavy hair, the root was strawberry blonde and it got lighter that the tip was light blonde. Her eyes are big, round, sparkling light brown eyes, and freckles peppered her cute face. She wore an ankle-length light yellow sundress with small blue flower patterns that complement her pale skin perfectly. She talked with a lot of hand motions, and she slips her hair behind her right ears every once in a while.

Yes, this one’s definitely perfect for her Levi.

-

December 22, 5 days after that (surprisingly) emotional phone call. Kuchel woke up to the loud sound of her doorbell. Seriously, the shameless guest was ringing the bell like some kind of madman in the middle of the night. Wait, what if that's a real madman? 

Ah, screw that, she thought sleepily, whoever that is they definitely need to be taught some lesson. She got off her bed, picked a frying pan from the kitchen, and then opened her door.

It's not a shameless nor mad man. 

In front of her door, Leo was sitting on Levi's shoulders while still ringing the bell vigorously with a big grin. Beside him, Petra was fixing her hold to Liam, while the ginger-haired toddler calmly eats his lollipop.

"Gran-Gran!" Leo greeted (gosh, that boy has too much energy for his own good), while his little brother just waved his hand that wasn't holding the lolly. 

Kuchel put down her frying pan, "Hey, guys! Come in!" 

She moved to the side, letting the little family inside. Leo immediately ran off to his favorite playing spot, the cabinet under the stairs. His brother tottered sleepily behind him.  

“So…...what happened to the case?”, she asked with as much sarcasm as possible, while locking the front door again, “Finally realizing your family’s more important than some ruthless murderer?”

A/N : I love Hamilton.

[vikingsagine]

A Trip Down Memory Lane (Ivar x Reader)

Hey guys, this is a second part to, My Loyalty is Yours, I hope you like it. By the way, I love Ivar. I love how complicated he is. Although, I do miss season 5 Ivar where he’s a bit psycho and confident. And I miss his braids. Love them braids so much. Sorry for any spelling mistakes.

Summary: Small things remind you of Ivar. Reminding you to when times were happier and easier and how your relationship with Ivar really was. 

Warnings : Very looonnnggggg. (sorry guys) Swearing, violence, slight smut. Rough. But not all the way. FLUFFY, I think. Margrethe (I hate her so much)

You sat with a lazy smile, optics observing the training men in front of you with Ubbe in front, yelling orders and stepping in to spar men with consistent mistakes. A week ago, you stood on a private trial with Bjorn Ironside to decide what to do with you. In the end, he came to terms with the rest of his ‘council’ to keep you alive and in the town of Kattegat. He said letting you go would be dangerous assuming you’d head to find Ivar, even though you said you wouldn’t, but also your battle abilities and strategies were much useful. You agreed because to be quite frank, you didn’t want to leave Kattegat, not yet. 

“Y/N, are you just going to watch or are you going to get off your lazy ass and do something.” Ubbe called, snapping you out of your thoughts with that familiar smug smirk and taunting stare. It felt different, not having Ivar around, it made you confused and almost empty. He was your best friend and first love after all. Wherever he went, you went too. Like a dog to a Mother’s tit. 

“Are you challenging me, horsetail?” You jumped off your feet and pulled your axe from the ground, returning the cocky grin and confident attitude. Ubbe took a step forward, pulling the sword up and pointing it towards you. 

“It wouldn’t be much of a challenge defeating you, little girl.” The next, your axe and sword met in a friendly and welcoming manner. This reminded you of the old days, when you trained and sparred with the sons of Ragnar.

~~~

“Surely you can do better than that.”  Ubbe remarked as you groaned on the ground, broken nose in your hand and bled. The older male by six years had finished head butting you and cracked your nose, now, standing over you like the champion. Hvitserk and Sigurd cheered, hollering as they both watched you and Ubbe spar. 

“Keep flapping your gums pretty boy and I’ll make you cry to your Mother.” You cooed and spat blood onto the floor, then shoved your nose back into place with a crack. A groan left your lips while Ubbe snorted, crossing his arms with a clear expression of enjoying you writhe in pain. Asshole, you thought. 

“Aww, you think I’m pretty.” 

“That’s not much of a comment coming from her.” You glared towards Ivar who snarled a bold insult. He sat on a stool a few feet away from his two other brothers, also eyeing the fist fight on display. “What? It’s true.” The bright blue eyed boy flicked his fingers towards your face, more specifically, the scar engraved into the side of your left cheek. Long and twisted, reaching from the corner of your mouth and arched into a smile just under your left eye. Huffing out of annoyance, your leg swung under Ubbe’s and knocked him onto his ass, using this moment of distraction to your advantage. Ubbe groaned, while Hvitserk laughed, mocking his older brother by a few years. You pulled the axe from his side and threw it towards Ivar, successfully landing it an inch above his head with a thump.

“Mock me again cripple and I swear by the Gods-”

“That you’ll kill me?” Ivar snorted and crossed his arms. “You can’t, remember. Or have you forgotten. I’m your master.” Of course, you thought, he always took any opportunity to remind you of the unique relationship you two shared. Insisting that he was your ‘master’ and you, his ‘slave’. It angered you every time.

“Yes, you’re right.” Wiping the blood with the back of your sleeve, you laid back next to Ubbe with an exhausted sigh. “But it doesn’t mean I can’t hurt you.” Ivar rolled his eyes again at your comment, glaring holes into the side of your face. 

~~~

The night started to set, the stars illuminating in the sky like spots of light in the abyss of darkness. Bleak wind pushing against your raw cheeks, turning them red and making you shiver. You sat silently by yourself once again, outside of the hall where the echoes of another feast and drunken vikings sang. It wasn’t really your scene. You hated large gatherings of people, the bodies of strangers pushing up against you like mud was suffocating. Instead, you liked to listen, to hear their joy and songs and the lack of sorrow or pain. 

“What are you thinking about?” Lagertha called from behind you. She had seen you flee the feast after a meal and decided to follow you. Not out of suspicion of you doing something terrible but out of curiosity. Lagertha had heard many tales of the small girl, your bold and skilled fighting. The many people you have slaughtered, children, old people, warriors, Christians alike. It was impressive but haunting.

“Nothing really, just enjoying the view and the music.” You turned your head to Lagertha, surprised by her sudden appearance but shifted enough for her to take a seat. You knew Lagertha, she was an inspiration to all shield-maidens out there. She still is. Even at this age.

“Will you betray my son?” Lagertha inquired, a stern and serious expression crossing her facials. It made you smile. You have heard many stories of Lagertha of her skill in the battlefield, even how people whisper about her being the shield-maiden protected by the Gods. But, in all honesty, all that was nothing compared to her love for her son, her family. 

“I will be true to you, Lagertha.” You cocked your head to the side. “One day, I will seek Ivar and return to his side. I will fight for him and I will die for him. But, until that day comes, for now, my body and knowledge will remain here.” 

“Hmm.” Lagertha replied in content. “Why do you not kill me?”

“Because I do not hate you. You have inspired me. Ivar is the one who sought to kill you, not me. It was his ambition and mine, my ambition is to serve him well and perhaps, bring him happiness.” A small smile made its way to your lips, the image of Ivar’s genuine grin and soft eyes. The memory melted your heart.

~~~

“Tell me, have you ever laid with anyone before?” Hvitserk inquired by your side, leaning over and knocking you a little. You laughed at his question, the jolt of a sudden euphoria slipping into your veins. You were drinking with the prince’s of Kattegat, all curled over the fire seeking out warmth and comfort. 

“Please tell me you aren’t trying to flirt with me, dear Hvitserk.”You cooed, his flirtatious smirk all too familiar because you’ve seen him use it before, on many other women in Kattegat. Whenever he was drunk, Hvitserk had the tendency to try and fuck anything with a pair of boobs and a pussy. 

“And what if I am?” He leaned closer, eyelids heavy and slurring over his words. It was clear to see, he was far too drunk and horny. “Is it working?” He attempted to press his lips against yours but you only pressed your palm against his face and knocked him off his seat. Ubbe laughed at the sight of his intoxicated brother, desperately flirting with Y/N but failed. 

“Get off me you drunken bastard.” You gave Hvitserk a soft kick to the ass and sat back down, laughing with Sigurd who pulled his brother up to sit next to him.

“One day, I swear, you will be mine.” Hvitserk slurred, his eyes closed but his finger on you. Then he curled over and hurled into the bucket that Sigurd, thankfully, had. Everyone knew how Hvitserk drank. He drank until he dropped. 

“Please, no one would want to fuck with that.” Ivar suddenly piped up, deciding to speak. The fire illuminating over his face, giving Ivar a dark glow. Ubbe scoffed out of annoyance, knowing  Ivar’s sour words like he found pleasure from humiliating people. And Ivar did. He enjoyed it. “Not even a blind man.” You were used to his insults and rolled your eyes, sculling the last bit of your drink. Before Ubbe could tell his baby brother off for his rude behavior, you stood up and took shaky steps over to him. 

“Oh please, Ivar.” Without hesitation, you slumped on the crippled boy’s lap with a smile. Ivar hissed at the rough impact on his legs, immediately glaring at your tipsy state. “Maybe a blind man wouldn’t, but perhaps a cripple would.” You threw your head back in laughter, enjoying how Ivar’s face turned into a scowl and looked at you like he was going to kill you. The next you were knocked onto the floor with a crash, the world becoming dizzy. 

“I will kill you.” Ivar muttered under his breath as you clumsily took a seat next to the crippled, still amused by his reaction. Most people feared Ivar, even his brother’s, but you were the only one that wasn’t intimidated and treated him like a normal person. 

“Uh huh and you’ll get functional legs.” Ubbe tensed, analyzing his brother for a dangerous response to your bold comment that most people would earn Ivar’s wrath. He glanced over to Sigurd who was also well-aware of the situation, becoming nervous and ready to pull you away from Ivar. You on the other hand, knew the consequence of your comment but still held your teasing gleam. Ivar cracked a large and toothy smile, his eyes softened with the fire illuminating his relaxed state. The sound of his laugh filled the tense hall and your heart fluttered at the sight and sound. 

~~~

The door swung open, revealing the sight of a blonde woman with a pregnant stomach. In her arms was a small little girl, you remember as Elsa. Daughter to Torvi and Bjorn Ironside. Both of you stared at each other, unknowing of what to say. 

“Is Ubbe here?” You finally broke the awkward silence, avoiding eye contact and straightened your stance. She moved aside to let you in, closing the door behind you. 

“Yes, he is changing his clothes. He will be ready soon, I hope.” You sat down on a stool, near the table. You felt like a complete stranger that no one trusted, not that it surprised you. Everyone had their guard up around you as if you’d suddenly attack and bring Ivar back. Sometimes, the people of Kattegat would snarl awful comments about you such as being Ivar’s bitch or child murderer and so forth. “I do not trust you nor do I believe you deserve to be in Kattegat.” Torvi spoke truthfully but it did not shock you. “But, my husband seems to. He speaks fondly of you.” You drew your lips in a thin line, watching her as she stirred soup in a pot for the hungry children. 

“I see.” Was the only thing you could come up with. You knew Ubbe loved you, loved you like a little sister and a close friend. You remember when you sat by Ivar’s side along with Hvitserk, you remembered the stare of a broken man. His heart was crushed. More so by Hvitserk’s decision, but disappointed when he saw you. It hurt to say the least, but it did not waver your loyalty or judgment. He knew from the start that you would always choose Ivar, always. You let out a sigh, furrowing your eyebrows together. Ubbe still had hopes that you’d stay and fight. It was your responsibility to break it, to destroy that idea for the sake of you and him. “I will talk to him.” 

“Momma, can you braid my hair? I want to look just like Lagertha.” Else tugged at her Mother’s dress with hopeful big brown orbs.

“Not right now.” You were unaccustomed to such sights or the feeling. Children weren’t really your speciality. Your behaviour far too rough and blunt, not to mention your appearance wasn’t at all friendly. Nor was the constant cold and emotionless mask. 

“Here, let me.” Torvi eyes you skeptically but continues with the soup. The small girl giddily approached you, no fear but a sweet beam. She patiently sat between your legs as you run your fingers through her soft blonde curls. The feeling felt nostalgic and your fingers felt an itch. An itch of memory.

~~~

“What is it that you want? You do realize I need sleep too.” You stepped into the room of your prince, rubbing your eyes from tiredness and exhaustion. That day, everyone was preparing themselves to return to Wessex England to get revenge for the death of Ragnar Lothbrok. Ivar laid in his bed, hips down covered by fur and blankets looking warm and cosy. Revealing his upper body, muscular and strong which didn’t come to any surprise since most of his life he’s been crawling. 

“Braid my hair.” He simply demanded and patted the spot next to you. You shivered from the bite of cold lingering at night, even inside the halls of his home. “Are you just gonna stand there and stare all night?” Ivar growled and you instantly scurried over to the man. You weren’t unfamiliar with the bed, having slept in it before. You lost your virginity in the bed, having given it to the man laying next to you. 

“You know, you’re an asshole?” 

“Did I ask for your opinion?” He scoffed back and huffed. You felt him watch you climb into his bed, dragging the warm fur over your bare legs. Ivar stared at you, unaccustomed to your lack of clothing since you seemed to always wear hoards of clothes or battle armour. Yet now, he was left with curiosity as he saw the outline of your body from the light of his candles. You wore a thin white dress because your body grew hot easily and it was Summer. 

“Keep talking to me like that and I’ll leave.” You glared over at Ivar who seemed a world away. “Come over here.” You motioned towards your legs, where he could sit and you could comfortably braid his longer thick black hair. 

“I’m not fucking you.” Ivar stated blatantly, taking your motions the wrong way. But still, he crawled over and settled between your legs and pulled the blankets over his bottom half and your legs as well. His body was hard as laid down against your stomach and chest. You felt your heartbeat jolt at the feeling of his body so close, butterflies swarming inside your stomach and stretched towards your shaky fingers.

“I don’t want you to fuck me.” You lied between your teeth, the words hot with deceit. “Why didn’t you ask me this earlier?” Your fingers combed gently against the tuffs of his hair, the silk of soft and thick rubbing against your rough fingers. It soothed your heart. 

“I thought it would make your life more difficult.” He teased. You could see his cocky smirk through the thickness of his locks and you tugged it back harshly causing Ivar to hiss. 

“Sorry.” Now you were the one smiling with smugness. Your smaller fingers combed through, nails scraping against his scalp like a massage which you were doing but used the excuse of it ridding all of the non-existent knots. Ivar let out a long breath and relaxed more into your body, his weight pushing you against the surface of the wall. It was times like these that made you fall deeply in love with the insecure man. 

“You didn’t say that the last time.” After a few minutes of silence, that you enjoyed, Ivar decided to break it. You raised your eyebrows and his comment, confused on what he meant. 

“Excuse me?”

“You said, you didn’t want to fuck me but the last time you were in my room, I recall you begging.” This caught you off guard and made you freeze your actions. Something dropped inside your stomach. Eye trapped on the first to braid on the left side of his scalp, you were tempted to dig your elbow into his skull and make the blue eyed man take back his words. Ivar, of course noticed the way your body reacted. He felt you tense and felt the tips of your fingers leave his scalp - much to his dismay. “Don’t you remember?” Ivar didn’t need to turn to look at you to see the reaction he’d cause, the only reaction he knew he could cause. Instead, his hand found its way to your bare thighs and tenderly massaged your legs. 

“Yes.” You coughed, breaking out of your embarrassed trance and returned to braiding his hair. You completely ignored the feather touch of his calloused fingers against the bare of your bruised skin. 

“Is that a yes to me fucking you or a yes to me fucking you the first time?” Your heart beat sped up at the words, suddenly very sensitive to his body slumped against yours. You silently cursed the Gods and your heart, especially to the way your mind was reacting. Self-aware to the bare skin rubbing against your body, your chest and your stomach, only separated by an inch of fabric. 

“As I recall it, cripple, you were the one that wanted to have sex not me. Why? Because you couldn’t get a fucking hard on.” Ivar chuckled lightly at your remark, entertained by your sour mouth around him. You were the first woman he had ever encountered to be so complicated. You were loud and boisterous yet silent and observant around other people. You were brutally honest about your opinion but still secretive about your feelings. You fought like a man but emotional like a woman - the side of you that he alone, witnessed. You were by all means unsaintly yet as pure as a flower. "So please be quiet. I rather prefer you better than to when you open that beastly thing of yours called a mouth.”

“I know you pine for me at night, scarface. Perhaps even touch yourself to the thought of me.” You could feel the tingles travel towards the pit of your stomach, the cunt between your legs betraying your words and forced intentions. It was too damn difficult to resist the man sitting between your legs, body firm and smooth pressed against you like suffocation. If he were strangling the truth of your lust out and into the open. 

“Hmm.” You hummed quietly, deciding to play his game as well. “Maybe.” Your fingers now tugging at the last of his hair that had yet to be braided, you let a finger trace the side of his neck and down the inch of skin that connected his neck and shoulder - the area of where you sunk your teeth into as you came undone. Ivar’s body reacted with a shiver and the hand that was under the blanket was not applying more pressure to your thigh. Ivar enjoyed toying with you, this much you knew. He always found every opportunity to get you a mess. Whether it be an angry mess, an annoyed mess or a flustered mess. “Yet, maybe not.” You continued braiding the last of his hair, silk soft and tender. Not so long ago it was short and still as thick. 

“Will you be by my side when we attack King Aelle and his armies?” Ivar’s voice dropped, barely above a whisper but held such vulnerability. This side of Ivar that only you could see, breathe and feel. It was intoxicating and dangerous. Made you want him even more. Finishing the last of his intertwined fragments of ink black locks, you let out a sigh and rested the top of your chin on his head.

“Of course. I will always be by your side.” Although the words were simple, they spoke how serious you were. They spoke truths you couldn’t admit to him or even yourself. They spoke truths that you knew would break your heart. Ivar found your small hand and held it in his, not saying a word but the action spoke thousands. 

The sensation inside your body, warmed. The weight of his large and meatier hand is rough against your palms. Thumb rubbing small circles that did wonders to your body. It made your headlight and the familiar feeling of euphoria came back. A different type of euphoria. Not the one you gained from victory or tearing through the bodies of enemies or the many cups of ale. It was the type that was pure and real and honest. It made your heart weak but soar at the same time. 

“Stay with me.” 

~~~

His mouth latched onto the crook of your neck, lips chapped and dry but tongue wet and smooth. You let out a content sigh, your hands pulling at his long mane of hair. He sucked harshly on the soft skin, fingers already pulling your belt  off and then ripped your pants down. Revealing your bare thighs, skin bruised and scarred from old scars and new minor wounds. His actions were rushed, pushing you onto a nearby table of his home and placed himself between your legs. 

It wasn’t normal for you to fuck random men in a stranger’s home. Hell, he could be married with children. But it wasn’t like you were doing this for pleasure, no, it was to ease the pining at night. The unsatisfied tension from your cunt because of the lack of sex and physical contact with any man - Ivar, to be more specific. You didn’t realize how much your body had needed his touch, until last night when your body was hot and needy. So, first thing in the morning, you saw the closest man to you, you coaxed him into fucking you senseless. Which by the way, didn’t take much. Just a few words and a light press of your fingers.

“Oh, you’re so tight.” He growled into your ear, breath hot and heavy. You felt his prick slide into your pussy, which immediately clenched and tensed, a small moan leaving your lips. It wasn’t like he wasn’t a decent size, but it felt...bland. It was missing something. Something meaningful. You pushed those thoughts aside and tied to focus on the pleasure and pushed him onto the ground, only to ride him faster. “Oh fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck you’re a good bitch.” In normal circumstances, you would have punched the man over for calling you that but you were so desperate to feel something that it didn’t faze you. You closed your eyes and thought of Ivar. His touch. His lips. His kiss. His voice…

~~~

“I’m not having sex with you.” You stated bluntly once again. Over the past week, Ivar has been pressuring you to have sex with him because he never had sex before and neither had you. Over the two years he’s known you, you have earned his trust and his comfort and the feelings are mutual. Both of you can speak openly about anything, it was a privilege but also a nuisance.

“Didn’t you say that you were here to serve me? Not completely fucking ignore my demands.” You rolled your eyes at Ivar’s spoiled behaviour, annoyed because he could be an asshole but also a pestering asshole in the middle of your chores. You weren’t a slave nor were you rich or a lady that Queen Aslaug treated well. She didn’t hate you nor did she favor you. However, you were incredibly grateful for her hospitality of lending you a bed, food and the acquaintance of knowing her sons. 

“Look, as you can tell I’m really busy right now.” You huffed and scrubbed the clothes to your clothes in the bucket of water harshly, ridding of the blood stains. “So do yourself a favor, and let your royal ass out.” You ignored the rest of his blabbering and then felt his presence leave. You let out a heavy sigh, body finally coming to an ease. It wasn’t like you didn’t want to have sex with Ivar but it was because you were actually, nervous. Really nervous. There were two major problems to that. One, you were nervous because you didn’t know how to fuck nor did you know if you actually could. And two, you have never been nervous before. The sensation was new and pestering. 

You talked to Ubbe about it since he was the mature and responsible one. You asked him about sex and he was surprised, since you rarely asked anything. Literally. You kept to yourself and handled things on your own. But this issue didn’t seem to go away. So, you turned to Ubbe who out of all the brother’s wouldn’t judge or make any insults towards you, he was a good person. But even then, the knowledge didn’t still your nerves or excitement on that matter. You wanted to have sex with Ivar but still didn’t know how.

A few days later, you were sitting by yourself, observing the crowd of drunken people and reckless laughter. Your eyes find Ubbe who was flirting with one of the slave girls, Margrethe, a girl that got on your nerves and did not trust. Then towards Hvitserk, drinking beside Sigurd but his orbs were also glued to the slave girl and so was Sigurd, though he hid it better with his singing and playing the ute. Oh boy, you thought. But still, Ivar was nowhere to be seen, you found it odd since he enjoyed drinking and humiliating you or his brother, Sigurd. You stood up and approached Ubbe to inquire where he was.

“Ubbe, where is Ivar?” The blonde man pulled himself off of the slave girl who was giggling and clearly enjoying the attention of the famous prince. You had to admit she was beautiful but the instinct in your stomach proved otherwise. 

“You always worry about my little brother my dear Y/N. Drink and let loose.” Ubbe replied, obviously drunk and too happy. It was useless to think that you could get a reply from him, so instead you approached Sigurd.

“I heard that Ivar isn’t completely a man.” Sigurd muttered with a slur to Hvitserk, who gave him a confused look. “I mean, his prick can’t stand or pleasure a woman. You remember when we took him to the lake house to fuck Margrethe, she told me that his cock didn’t work and that he threatened Margrethe.” That bitch, you initially thought. You knew how insecure and sensitive Ivar was. Especially with his brothers. Always needing to prove himself to them, making up for his legs or lack thereof. You knew Sigurd was drunk and wouldn’t carelessly let loose on his words but boy did you wanna start a fight right now. Your blood boiled, becoming protective over the cripple man and also having a good enough reason to punch the blonde girl. 

Without hesitation, you marched over to the loving couple who were making out so carelessly and tore Ubbe off of her. Margrethe looked at you with horror as you lifted her to her feet and rammed your forehead into her nose, earning a crack and a shriek. Ubbe immediately grabbed you and stared you away from the slave girl who was crying but you could care less and spat at her one last time before you were thrown against the wall by the older man.

“What is wrong with you?” Ubbe yelled, glaring down at you with fire. You only wiped her blood from your face and huffed, pushing his arms away and stomped out of the hall. Ignoring the hollers of other Vikings and the hate-stares of Hvitserk and Sigurd. You would pay for this later since all three men were smitten and infatuated with that bitch of a woman. All thinking with their cocks and not their sensibility.

Soon enough, you found yourself slipping into Ivar’s room with silent and small steps. The noiseless night filled the hall of the Ragnarson’s large home, located in the great hall. You were dressed in an over-sized long sleeve shirt, falling passed your knees and freshly clean. You didn’t know why, but you were worried about Ivar. Because you rejected him countless times, even though he came to you and wanted you again and again. All because you were afraid. For the first time in your life, you were afraid. Scared that he’d reject you when you did just that towards him. Though these feelings were newborn, they were strong and passionate. 

“What are you doing?” A sleepy and cautious Ivar suddenly inquired, halting you in your tracks of trying to crawl into his bed. Yet you continued, letting the warmth of the blankets engulf you until your body was awkwardly close to Ivar’s.

“I want to have sex with you.” Not knowing how else to put it, you stated only the truth. You felt his head shift to glance over to you.

“Why?” 

“What else reason would there for me to fuck you Ivar? Because I’m horny and I want you.” You met his eyes, barely visible but you could see his crystal blue irises staring at you questionably. But soon his expression softened and he looked away.

“I can’t.” There was a tone of disappointment and pain behind his words and you knew exactly why. Because of that blonde bitch with a big fucking mouth. You growled inside your head, promising yourself that you’d deal with the girl later on if Ubbe or Hvitser or Sigurd didn’t interfere. How was a man like himself supposed to reach greatness if he had the confidence of a child? You knew, ever since you were a child, that the man called Ivar the Boneless would someday be a famous and feared viking. And you believed it with all your heart. 

“You’re a stupid cripple.” You mumbled and then pressed your lips against his. They were soft and warm. Ivar seemed shocked at first, not knowing how to reply or to react. So, you prompted for a response by crawling over his body so you were straddling the man. You could feel the blood in your body rush to your cheeks, feeling heat and warmth spread at the feeling for him. A spark lit in the pit of your stomach. “A stupid cripple.” You spoke once again, admiring the way his eyes, crystal blue like the rare flashes of lightning that only occurred for a split second. If you were to blink, you’d miss its beauty and it's terror. This time, Ivar reciprocated the kiss with slow movements and timid hands that bunched at your hips, unknowing to do what. 

“You do not understand.” He muttered between your desperate kisses and caught your roaming fingers that itch to feel his manhood. The only part of him that was left unknown besides his legs. The part of him that made you eager with a different excitement. “I can’t. My-” Before he could finish the sentence, you slapped his cheek raw and hard. The sound bouncing off of the walls and down the still hall. 

“You’re gonna let a slave bitch really tell you how your body works?” You knew Ivar, knew him well enough to cause a reaction. This man was driven by anger and revenge. He was truly passionate when he was filled with rage and turmoil, where the beast lurks and the mind disappears. The reaction didn’t work though, not yet. He only seethed through the grit of his teeth and gave a shaky sigh, controlling his anger. It was sweet really, but you didn’t want sweet, you wanted him to fuck you. Fuck you until that confidence came back. “You’re a bitch Ivar.” You mumbled through light kisses, dragging down his neck and sinking your teeth into his skin hard enough to earn a loud hiss. “What happened to Ivar the Boneless, the one who proved everyone wrong?” You hummed teasingly, tongue dragging down his chest and giving one of his nipples a flick and down, down, down, to the bottom of his belly button. “I guess he lost his balls just as well as he lost his-” You yelped out in pain as Ivar grabbed a fist full of your hair and yanked you up. 

“You want me to fuck you, hmm? Want me to fuck that fucking cunt? Is that what you really want?” You could see the fury behind his eyes, felt it in the tenseness of his body and could sense it through the bulge of his pants that you felt proud of. 

“Can you?” You teased, one hand holding his wrist and the other clenching onto the bed sheet. You suppressed the need to escape but didn’t bite your tongue back, not now. Not when he was clearly turned on. 

“Careful woman, your mouth is too big for your own good.” 

Ivar slumped over your body, both of you completely exhausted from prior activities. It was painful but enjoyable. Neither you or Ivar made a move, too surprised at what had happened but instead laid in silence and let what had happened sink in. You absorbed it. His rough fingers touching places where no man has ever ventured or rather tried, but still maintained his limbs and life. His lips ghosting over yours then meeting in a passionate dance like a bonfire or crashing waves or swords on a battlefield. Biting, sucking, clashing, needing, tasting each other like a man deprived. He was gentle and soft, maintaining his control as he felt your discomfort. The way Ivar coaxed tender things in your ear as you held onto him like he’d suddenly leave. The way you felt all of his body. His chest, his arms, his nose, his lips, his hips, even his legs. The way he relentlessly fucked you the second time, pounding into your cunt with so much force you couldn’t help the cries that shrieked in the household where others could hear. The way you both came undone with timid and slow thrusts, staring into each other’s eyes with soft whimpers and hands held. It was too much. 

“Can I stay?” You inquired with slight nervousness. Apprehensive at the idea he might decide he doesn’t want you anymore, just wanting a fuck buddy or just a one time thing. He didn’t say anything at all, but his hand reaching out for yours was enough confirmation.

[atombombbagel]

Sole goes AWOL and no one seems to know where they went. How would the companions (+ Maxson?) react to accidentally finding out that they have become the fierce Overboss of Nuka World? The angstier, the better!

(ANGST AHEAD) Hey. Thought I’d post because why not… Enjoy. Also I only did romanced companions because It’s been forever and I need some time to get back into things because I have the motivation of a dead fish :) 

(I’ll try and add the other companions later)  

Hours? Days? Months? Who knows. Nobody does apparently, they checked, double checked, triple checked. They had asked everybody who is anybody and nope, they hadn’t the foggiest idea, not the slightest clue. Sole was gone, and they couldn’t help but think the worst… 

 Cait: “I’m not using anymore ye asshole.” Cait snapped, crossing her arms over her chest. She’d been wandering about, walking off last nights hangover (the hangover she’d acquired by trying to drown out her negative thoughts about Sole’s whereabouts) when she’d been approached by an old friend. No. Not a friend, an old dealer she knew.

 "Well… you see, Cait, I told the boss I had the perfect person to do deals out here in the good old commonwealth and you wouldn’t want to let an old buddy down now would you?“ The man in worn slacks snickered. "I know you, Cait, you can’t refuse a good deal… a good high.” The raider twirled a psycho in his hand. 

 "Did ye even hear me? I said I aint usin’ and I definitely aint dealin’ for a waste a space like you. Now ye better piss off before I knock yer feckin’ teeth out.“ Cait seethed, the arrogance of her former dealer making her blood boil. 

 "Is this her?” A voice from the distance said. Cait’s eyes flicked to the person making their way out from behind a decrepit shack. She raised her eyebrows as she focused on the face in front of her. A face she knew all too well. 

 "Sole?“ She said in surprise, "What the hell are ye doin’ messing around with this eejit?” She raised her voice. Sole stepped forward, knocking the dealer in the chest with their fist. 

 "This is who you have for me? You numbskull, get out of my sight.“ Sole shoved the man aside. "Cait.” Sole turned to their former companion. “Long time no see.” They smiled at the red head. 

 “You. Yer the Overboss? Tha one terrorising the Commonwealth with yer gang of thugs?“ Cait pulled a psycho from her pocket. "Ye left me this. Do ye have any idea what ye could of undone?” Cait threw the drug to Sole’s feet. “I can’t believe ye’d do this. I thought… Nevermind what I thought.” Cait sighed. “Stay away from me." 

 "I got pulled into it. I didn’t know you were the person-”

 "Save yer bullshit for someone who cares. After what ye saw me going through? Ye’d what? Inflict that hell on someone else by selling the damn stuff? Yer an ass. I want nothing to do with ye.“

 "It’s only business, I never meant…” Sole tried to convince her but Cait had already turned away. The feeling in her heart worse than any withdrawal she’d ever felt.

Curie: Curie followed the beeping on her radio to the location she was pretty sure was being transmitted. The distress call. The person who needed medical assistance should be right here. But… they weren’t. 

“Fresh meat!" 

All of a sudden, Curie’s vision went black, she tried to scream but she couldn’t, her voice was trapped in the back of her throat. She was terrified. She passed out she was sure of it, only her vision came back to her as a burlap sack was lifted from her head. 

"Looky here Boss. It works.” A raider said (referring to the trap he had set up and planned despite everyone being sceptical about it). Curie’s eyes met her long lost Companions. Soles. She sighed with relief. 

“You’re alive!” She beamed, “I heard a distress call, coming right from here.” Curie explained. “I’ve been trying to help people all over in your absence until I found you of course. Where is the person who needs help?” Curie asked, observing the area carefully. She’d seen similar camps back in the Commonwealth but nothing of this capacity. There must have been hundreds of raiders. She grimaced at the sight of a pile of stacked dead bodies, naked, left there to rot, while a group of raiders rummaged through their clothes and belongings. It didn’t seem like Sole to like this sort of brutality, but maybe she didn’t know Sole as well as she thought she did.  

“There is no distress call.” Sole said plainly, crossing their arms over their chest. She nodded for one of the raiders to come over to them. “You don’t harm her. You and whats-his face,” Sole paused, “You know… Mason’s right hand. You both, take her home and make sure she gets there safe. Not a single hair on her head gets touched, understand?” Sole’s eyes pierced into the raiders. He was clearly scared of them. He nodded. 

“No distress call? But I heard-" 

"It was a trap Curie. You need to go home. It isn’t safe here. I care about you too much to let this corrupt you,” Sole interrupted. “I know you don’t understand but trust me. They need you back home, you need to forget about me." 

Danse: "BOSS!” A Disciple, that was clearly out of the breath from the vigorous running she’d been doing called to Sole. The Overboss of Nuka-World turned to the raider. “We have someone you’d definitely want to see. The bounty on this one’s head. We’ve caught the best of the best!” She was giddy, excited. Sole creased their eyebrows as they followed her. 

“Who is it?” Sole asked, observing the person in front of them, their eyes covered by an old rag. Sole didn’t see the point in covering their eyes if they were to die when handed to their pursuer anyway. 

“Its the Paladin. The one the Brotherhood have been looking for. The one that got away. We’ll be rich!” Sole’s mouth dropped into a frown. It couldn’t be him… could it? 

“Why did you bring him here?” The paladin’s ears perked up when he caught the sound of his capturers voice. That voice that he loved so much, that had pulled him back from the brink at the darkest of times. The voice of the person he never thought he’d see again. 

“Sole?” He said in to blind darkness. He couldn’t see anything, but he knew, he knew deep down it was them. Where they finally back to hand him over to Maxson? Finally seeing him as what he truly was. 

“Remove the blindfold you fool.” Sole said, their eyes meeting Danse’s when the cloth was finally removed. 

“I thought you were dead.” He said after a brief moment of silence. He took a minute to look around at his surroundings. Of all places, he never expected Sole to be here, in this mess. “What are you doing? You’re smarter than this.

"Watch your mouth,” A raider snarled, holding a knife to Danse’s neck. 

“Let him go.” Sole demanded, their eyes still fixed on Danse’s. “I had to get away from the Brotherhood, I found myself here. Its the same, only here I can make my own rules." 

"These people are murderers Sole.” Danse met the other raiders eyes, he watched their scowling faces. They were ready to pounce but they couldn’t, Sole would never let them. 

“So are the Brotherhood.”

“It’s different. They are doing the best for humanity, you’re killing mankind for financial gain. It’s despicable.” Sole smiled briefly. He always was honest. The most honest man they’d ever met. 

“We won’t be turning him in, or killing him.” Sole announced. “Danse, find Preston. He’s in Sanctuary, he’ll let you stay there, for as long as you want." 

"Come with me?” Danse asked, “You don'y belond here.” He wanted Sole to jump into his arms, wrap their arms around his neck and say yes but they stood there expressionless. 

“I can’t. I’m sorry. Find Preston, he’ll help.” Sole swallowed the lump in their throat as they turned. They couldn’t face him as they left, it was too painful. 

Hancock: The red coat wearing devil took a small step backwards, making sure that there was distance between him and the raider, who stood a few meters in front of him. 

“You stick those nails in your armour to make you appear tuff huh big guy?” Hancock mocked, a smirk etched across his disfigured face. 

“You’d better pay up Mister Mayor, or we’ll have to call the boss down here and well, they don’t appreciate it when someone don’t pay for the goods. You understand me?” A raider with bright green hair, stood next to her nail-armour friend. She snarled, making sure the light from the sun reflected on her recently sharpened blade. “Or perhaps we’ll get the pack on you.” She laughed before howling, causing the raider next to her to follow suit. Hancock raised a hairless brow. 

“Aw come on now, we can handle this like men… or women… wait…” Nevertheless, Hancock stepped forward, his concealed knife dug deep into the green-haired woman’s gut. He pulled his knife out and thrust it back in, making sure to twist it. The woman groaned in pain. “Don’t even think about it,” Hancock hissed to the other one, making his threat quite clear to him.

“I think that is quite enough.” Hancock was approached by another raider in Brahmin road leathers, only it wasn’t a raider. It was Sole. The same Sole that had been missing for months, the same one he’d sent search parties out for, the same Sole he thought was dead. 

“Well well… aint this a surprise.” Hancock cleaned his knife using a handkerchief he kept in the inside pocked of his red jacket. “Hanging with the big boys now huh? Or are you the big old bad boss of Nuka World?” He spat. “I didn’t think you were the muderin’ type.”

“I am the boss here Hancock and there is no murdering, but if I get double crossed well that is different.” Sole’s statement made him chuckle with disgust. 

“You.” Hancock pointed his knife at Sole, “Are not who I thought you were.” He put his hand inside his pocket again, this time pulling out a bag of caps. “Here’s your fucking money.” He threw it to the ground, right at Sole’s feet. “Now we are square." 

"It doesn’t have to be like this. You could join us, join me." 

"You really think I want to become a petty murdering thug? You think I was to kill innocent people after stealing their shit? All that they have so you can what? Sit on your throne and boss ME around?” He chuckled. “I’ve got a town to run and you aint fucking welcome.” He shook his head. “I really thought you were different Sunshine.”

MacCready: “There must be some here somewhere.” MacCready muttered to himself as he rummaged around in various chests and bags of an old locker room he’d stumbled across. It was only till he heard a click of a gun he stood still. 

 "What do you think you’re doing in this part of town?“ A rough voice said, making MacCready turn around to face him. His eyes studied the man in front of him. Tall, lanky, not very built, hair was slicked back and around his waste was a belt made of… was that bullets? He looked back up, catching the man’s steady gaze. 

 "The boss aint gonna like this, but if you empty your pockets, they don’t have to know you was trespassing on their property.” The man flashed his teeth with a menacing smile. 

 "I don’t think so.“ MacCready replied standing his ground, ready to aim his rifle. He knew he’d be quicker, but the image of his infant son flashed in his mind. Duncan. He couldn’t do anything rash. "Take me to your boss.” He decided, gripping the leather strap across his shoulder. The raider shrugged before motioning MacCready to follow him.

 The room was dark-ish, lit up by a single lamp, shaped like a cola bottle. Only it had a face, which MacCready thought was weird and a little creepy. 

 "This is the guy that was snooping around in the locker room boss. A thief if you ask me. We should throw him to the dogs.“ He snickered, shoving MacCready forward. It was only then did MacCready catch a glimpse of the person sitting in the chair besides the cola shaped lamp. A smile stretched across their lips.

 "If it isn’t the greatest sniper in all the Commonwealth.” MacCready recognised their voice instantly. 

 "Sole?“ He questioned, making out their features dimly lit by the shit lamp. "So this is what you’ve decided to do while you’ve been gone?” MacCready looked around, heads on spikes jutted out of the ground like some barbaric warning. Junk littered the ground, and in the distance he could discern two of Sole’s raiders roughing each other up. “I’m not one to judge, I’ve made numerous questionable choices too. To each his own.” He shrugged, clutching the leather strap holding his prized sniper, closer to his chest. He knew Sole, he knew they would never hurt him, yet he couldn’t help but feel unsettled by what they had become. He chuckled. “I ran with the gunners, they aint much different. Just be careful." 

 "Thanks Mac.” Sole said with a brief smile. “You don’t want to stay for a while?” They asked, cocking their head to the side. MacCready shook his head, rather quickly. 

 "I should get back to my son. Stay safe out here Sole.“ And with that MacCready left, not wanting to be around Sole when they lead a bloodthirsty pack of savage raiders. It wasn’t safe for him or his son. 

Piper: The story was going to be so good! She was finally hot on the trail of this mysterious boss, the one who was ordering the takeover of the Commonwealth. Once this was all around Diamond City she’d be sold out of newspapers for sure. She’d finally be able to buy her sister that premium box of snack cakes, the ones only Deacon could get on his way back from Washington. A hefty price but her sister deserved it. 

Piper hid against the side of a dilapidated building, crouching down as she tried to keep to the shadows. He held her pen tightly in her grip. 

"Where’s the money you stole from me?” A voice snarled, the person behind it kicking a man in the stomach, before holding their gun up and cocking back the trigger. “I won’t hesitate, you know that, don’t you? And after you’re dead we know where your family lives.” The voice threatened. The man stumbled over his own words. 

“Please don’t hurt them! I swear I don’t know where the money is! I didn’t take it!" 

"Wrong answer.” The loud echo of the gunshot rang through Pipers ears, causing her to gasp without her even knowing it came from her mouth. The person she’d been spying on, the ‘Boss’, saw her. She gulped trying to hurry to her feet but she was grabbed by the bosses minions. They made their way over to where Piper was standing, stopping when they saw the familiar cap and coat of their old reporter friend. 

“What are you doing here?” The Boss asked, their voice softer than it had been when shouting at the now dead s.o.b. 

“Blue? Is that you?” Piper couldn’t believe her eyes. It couldn’t be them. She’d been assured that they were dead. She’d been told they’d been a victim of the Boss. The other reason she was chasing the story. “I thought you were dead.” She choked out, nearly sobbing at this point. Sole shook their head. Piper snapped back to her senses. “Please tell me you’re not the Overboss. Please tell me what I saw wasn’t what I saw.” Sole’s eyes met the ground. “What did you get yourself into?" 

"Its me, I’m the Overboss and what you saw… You can’t tell anyone about it. Do you understand me, Piper?” Sole noticed the notepad in Piper’s hand. “Give it to me.” Piper shook her head. 

“You don’t scare me, Blue." 

"No? I know where Nat is. I know what she looks like. She’s make a great protege. Or maybe I’ll just kill her.” Sole shrugged. “Your choice.” Piper’s face scrunched up in disgust. 

“You wouldn’t. She’s a kid." 

"Do you really want to find out?” Sole threatened and Piper looked down at the ground. She tossed her notepad to the ground. 

“I can’t believe I ever trusted you. You’re a monster." 

"No. I’m just the Overboss. And you better remember that." 

Preston: Preston had been guarding the parameter to Sanctuary when he was grabbed, by heavily armed and armoured Raiders. He fought so hard to get them off but he couldn’t call for help. When he had managed to bite one of the raiders hands he had been knocked out with the butt of their pipe rifle. 

Preston slowly opened his eyes, blinking as he let his eyes adjust to the light shining in them. He tried to lift his arm only to find that he had been tied to a chair by tightly wrapped leather belts. He groaned as the pain in his head finally hit him. Where was he?

"This is the guy we got. The one who’s in charge of that big place we were telling you about.” A smug raider, clearly proud of himself, said with a beaming smile, nudging their bosses arm. He winced as he was slapped across the face. 

“Are you stupid?” Preston’s head snapped up as he heard that all familiar voice. He could not believe his eyes. What was Sole doing here? What was Sole doing surrounded by a bunch of disgusting vile people. “I said stay away from Sanctuary hills you idiot. Untie him. NOW.” Sole snapped, making the guy scurry forwards and quickly untie Preston’s bonds. “I’m so sorry about this.” Sole apologised as Preston stood up.

“How could you side with them?” Preston spat. Sole noticed the look of revulsion on his face. “You know what they are like. You know what they do to people and you’re here siding with them? After all we have built you’d throw it all away to be their ruler?” He looked down, shaking his head. 

“Preston. I told them to stay away from the Minutemen. I would never hurt our people.”

“MY people. You turned your back on us the minute you joined forces with these… things.” He sighed, “I’ll never forgive you for this." 

"Preston…” He pushed past Sole, tugging his arm away when Sole tried to reach for him. “Preston!” Sole called after him, but he was gone and he wouldn’t be turning back.

[megsironthrone]

Take You As My Wife

Based on this request:  may I please get a Ramsay request where the reader is a stark and they fell in love while he was married to sansa so after sansa leaves he agrees to leave winterfell and go back to the dreadfort if he could have the reader as his wife happy ending please thank you so much for your time i love your blog by the way

Here you are! This took so flipping long since I have to tone down Ramsay’s psycho side to write any type of fluff for him!

*Characters are not mine. Neither are you!

Warnings: A little angst. A little fluff. Ramsay being Ramsay. And I changed some of the show events in order to make the fic work. 

Pairings/Characters: Ramsay Bolton x fem!Stark reader, Sansa, Jon. 

Why Lord Baelish promised Sansa to Ramsay instead of you, Ramsay would never know. You were the eldest Stark daughter. Still, Ramsay would take what he could get to keep his place in Winterfell. When Sansa practically begged him to let you stay with her, he almost said no. Perhaps he should have. Despite all his efforts, Ramsay found himself in an odd situation.

         Ramsay was supposed to wooing Sansa. He was supposed to play her like a fiddle and convince her that their marriage would be the best thing for both Houses. He counted on it, but he hadn't counted on you worming your way into a heart that he thought was long since hardened and cold. Ramsay could honestly say that he was falling in love. With the wrong damn sister.

         Your eyes were glued to Ramsay as Sansa spoke to Lady Walda. "No, Lady Bolton. Winterfell has always been my home. It is the people who are strange." Roose's lips turned down as he looked at his son only to find his eyes on you as well. "Lord Ramsay, perhaps you could take time from your business to show us around Winterfell?" you interjected suddenly, easing the tension in the room, "I have noticed a few changed you've made."

         Ramsay, after finally meeting his father's gaze, agreed. Sansa declined. "Then I suppose it will be just the two of us," Ramsay stated with a twinkle in his eye. Finally, a moment alone with you. The young man wanted to slap himself. What was wrong with him? What was it about you that had him so obsessed? "Wonderful. Perhaps, if Sansa is feeling better later, she will join us." You rose gracefully, prompting Ramsay to join you.

         "I see you, you know," you stated simply when the two of you were finally alone. Ramsay stopped walking and arched a brow. "What do you mean, my lady?" You let a smile grace your lips. A smile that Ramsay hated. It was too bright. Too cheery. "I see you looking at me. You should be more careful or people will begin to think you are already being unfaithful to my sister."

         "I am the future lord of Winterfell now. I don't care what anyone has to say. And if they even think about engaging in idle gossip, I will carve out their tongues. What do you have to say to that?" You let out a soft hum, but didn't otherwise answer. Instead, you looked up into his eyes with a smirk. Once your eyes met his, Ramsay knew that for the first time ever, he was willing to do anything for someone other than himself.

*time skip brought to you by Hodor*

         Ramsay was utterly confused. Sansa, the woman he'd married just a few hours before, was gone along with Reek. She was gone and Ramsay didn't feel a thing. He hadn't consummated the marriage, but he didn't seem to care. The only thing he cared about was you. He was confused as to why you hadn't left with your sister. He was confused as to why she had so willingly left you behind. He hadn't even done much to her yet…other than the thing with your brothers and arranging a marriage with her after basically burning Winterfell to rubble. But you weren't part of that, so why leave you?

         When Ramsay asked, you simply gave him that little smile that he hated(loved) and a shrug. "There must always be a Stark in Winterfell. Father and Mother always used to say that. Sansa will return, most likely with an army." Ramsay rose a brow and asked what you meant. "If I know Sansa, she will head North to the Wall. She will convince Jon to come to Winterfell and take it back. If I were you, I wouldn't wait around."

         Ramsay didn't listen to you. He sat smugly in Winterfell, awaiting the moment when Jon would ride to Winterfell. Ramsay looked forward to thrashing Jon soundly, especially now that he was officially Lord of Winterfell, having killed his own father. His only hesitation was you. How you would feel about him if he killed your bastard brother.

         "At least let me speak to Jon," you pleaded with Ramsay. "If I can convince him it isn't worth it, perhaps he will stand down." Ramsay contemplated for a moment before nodding. He knew it wouldn't work, but if it made you happy and trusting, then he would do it.

         As it turned out, you were both right. Sansa did indeed ride to the Wall and convince Jon to come take back Winterfell. And, as Ramsay had said, Jon did not respond well to your pleas. Now, you were perched on Jon's horse in front of him while Jon and Ramsay spoke of terms.

         "This doesn't have to end in bloodshed," Jon said. Ramsay didn't answer at first. His gaze was fixed on you. He was close to losing you. Close to having everything stripped away from him again. He had to think of something and quickly. "Leave Winterfell now and I will tell my men to stand down," Jon continued. Ramsay saw your eyes pleading with him to see reason.

         "Why should I?" Ramsay asked, finally taking his eyes off you. "Because it will be the end of House Bolton if you don't. In a few years, no one will even remember your House existed. We will name another the Lord of the Dreadfort and you will be forgotten. Is that really what you want?" Ramsay pondered for a moment before a smirk crossed his lips. He had an idea. One that would keep him alive, give him what he wanted, and let him keep at least a small tie to Winterfell.

         "I will concede, Jon Snow. On one condition." Your head tilted in confusion. It was clear you hadn't expect him to give in so easily. "What is that?" Ramsay glanced at you again. "The lady Y/N is to accompany me back to the Dreadfort. As Lady Bolton." Your eyes widened in surprise and Ramsay continued.

         "As Lady Sansa and my marriage was never consummated, I am free to marry another. I want Lady Y/N." Jon opened his mouth to speak, but you whispered something to make him stop. Jon frowned, but nodded. "I do not like it, but it is Y/N's choice. If she agrees, you have a deal." Ramsay arched a brow as he waited for your response. "I will give you an answer in one hour." Jon turned his horse around, leaving Ramsay dumbfounded.

         To say Ramsay was irate was an understatement. An hour. Why couldn't you just say yes? You would be saving you family and your home, and getting a husband all at once. Who did you think you were? "I think I am the woman holding your future in the palm of my hand," came your voice from behind him. Ramsay hadn't realized he'd been ranting aloud.

         "What do you mean?" You smirked. "I mean, depending on my answer to you, you will either leave Winterfell alive or you will die here." Ramsay scoffed. "Your brother's army is no match for mine." Despite his feelings for you, he wasn't about to let you see him flustered. "Please. You may have the numbers but your men are idiots. I managed to sneak passed them all to get here. Jon has Wildlings on his side and a giant."

         Ramsay rolled his eyes. He was getting nowhere and it was beginning to irritate him. "Is there a point to this, my lady?" You let that damned smile grace your lips again. "There is. Before I give you my answer, I have a question." Ramsay motioned for you to continue. "Why? You married Sansa already. Why would you insist on taking me as your wife?"

         "As I told your brother, my marriage to Sansa was never consummated." You shrugged. "Ramsay, cut the bull. I already know the answer to my question. I simply want to hear you say it. Even if I never hear the words from you again after this moment, I need to hear them now." Your voice lost its power as you spoke and you cast your glance down to your feet.

         Ramsay contemplated lying to you. He really did. But if you already knew, then there was no point. "I care for you." You looked up at him, waiting for him to continue. When he didn't, you shook your head with a smile. "The actual words, Ramsay. Until I hear them, you will not get your answer." Ramsay cursed you for being so observant and stubborn. How was he supposed to admit how he felt when he'd never felt that way before.

         "Iloveyou," he mumbled. You laughed softly. "Close enough. I shall return with your answer in a few moments." You turned to walk away, but Ramsay grabbed your elbow. Before you could say a word, he spun your around and crashed his lips onto yours. There was nothing gentle about it. It was as if Ramsay were claiming you. He was rough and fierce and fiery.

         You were panting when he finally let you breathe again. "I need your answer now." You gave a breathless giggle. "So impatient. Very well. We leave tonight." It took Ramsay a moment to register what you'd said. "Y-You are willing to return to Dreadfort with me?" You sighed deeply before you pressed a much softer kiss to his lips. "Yes. Now, I must return to Jon. I will return shortly to prepare to leave."

         Ramsay watched you go with a smirk on his face. Despite everything he had done, you were still willing to go with him. He didn't know if it was because you loved him in return or if you were only doing it to save your family, but he found he didn't actually care. In the end, he got what he wanted anyway. And now you were his. For the rest of your lives, you were his and he would fight through all Seven Hells to keep you with him.

(This took me so much longer than it should have. I struggled with this one, I’m afraid.) 

Forever Tags: @fizzyxcustard​ @brewsthespirit-blog​ @ghostie-writes​ @princessofthefandomrealm​ @smalltownbigheart​ @littlemisscaptainfandom​ @etherealpotter​ @line-viper​ @frozenhuntress67​ @cd1242​ @gruffle1​ @gameofthronesfics​ @igotmadskills​

[thorne93]

Inside the Criminal Mind (Part 19)

Prompt: You’re married to Dr. Spencer Reid of the BAU, and are a distinguished doctor yourself on the team. You’re sent down to Miami, Florida for teaching and as a side request from the FBI, to investigate a string of missing persons. When you think you’ve figured out who the unsub is, your life becomes more complicated than you ever could’ve imagined.

Word Count: 2043

Warnings: (throughout the fic –>) death, blood, gore, killings, language, disturbing mental notions, mentions of rapes/murder/etc (You know, Dexter and Criminal Minds related business)

Notes: Thank you so much to @arrow-guy​​​​​, @carryonmyswansong​​​​​, and @mrs-dragneel-stark-solo​​​​​ - without each of you, I couldn’t have finished, written, or properly navigated this story. Each of you helped me fish out details that were incredibly important to me. Beta’d by @carryonmyswansong​​​​​ and @mrs-dragneel-stark-solo​​​​​… Aesthetic by @mrs-dragneel-stark-solo​��​​​

This is a crossover of Criminal Minds x Dexter. First time writing Dexter.

Also, the timeline is after Season 1 of Dexter, but during season 14-ish of Criminal minds into Season 15. Enjoy!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What the hell is wrong with you?” he demanded as soon as you met at the apartment. “Killing? Really?”

“I don’t know what you want me to say,” you softly said.

“Are you at least a little remorseful?” he asked.

“Is that really what you want to know? My level of guilt? Is that what’s going to make this feel better?”

“Maybe, I don’t know! All I know is the woman I love is a serial killer, and a federal agent and I don’t know how to process this!” he shouted, his eyes wild with anger. 

You just sat there quietly while Spencer paced in front of you. You had no idea what to say or do at this point. The truth was out, what more did he want from you? 

“How did you even decide you wanted to do it?” 

“When I realized it was Dexter, and who his victims were… I realized I wasn’t entirely unhappy with it. Then I remembered how much anger I had for Rochester getting let out and all the other dozens of bastards that were found innocent, or evidence was lost, and I just got so mad that… that I thought he could teach me.” 

He stopped pacing to sit in front of you on the coffee table. “Has he brainwashed or manipulated you in any way?”

“No. I did this on my own. I found out he was the killer, and confronted him.”

“And you’re just okay with this? You’re his… student?”

“I like to think I’m his friend. He was very helpful and supportive when you were missing.”

“Oh for fucks’s sakes that right.You brought him to the office. Jesus, you had a serial killer in the building. And you’re calling him your friend? What the hell happened to you down here?” 

“You getting targeted by one too many unsubs,” you said in a low voice, solemn lacing every word as you stared at him. “Spencer, I may be a killer, but I still love you with every atom of my body. You’ve been kidnapped, tortured, shot, forced to take drugs, and abused by so many unsubs, I just can’t stand it any more. I wanted some justice for those bastards who did things to you. Tell me you haven’t wanted to kill people before, some of our worst unsubs. Foyett, Scratch, Cat?” 

“Wanting to and acting on it are two different things, Y/N! We don’t chase fantasies, we hunt people who actually act on them!” he cried out, his face getting red. “If you didn’t feel bad for what you did, you’d be a lot more defensive right now. Which means you know what you’re doing is wrong.” 

“Well which is it? Am I a cold-blooded psychopath, or am I a misguided agent, someone who lost their way, like Elle?” you demanded.

“That all depends on how you felt when you killed them,” he stated coolly.

“What do you want me to say? What? That it didn’t feel good? That it didn’t feel like some sort of accomplishment or victory getting some of these people off the streets? Do you want me to tell you that I feel guilty?” 

“Do you?” he asked, accusation in his tone. 

“Not particularly no. All I did was skip some bullshit and red tape. You know what it’s like to work in this job. You know how god damn hard it is to watch a killer go free after we put in hours and effort to get them off the streets, they sit on a stand, lie, take plea deals and they’re out in five, ten years, doing it all over again. All the red tape, all the laws, all the restrictions, and for what? So someone can go out and murder a little girl again? So someone can brutally torture a family before slaughtering it? Sorry if I don’t particularly feel any remorse for stopping them, for good.” 

“Tell me what you felt when you killed them,” he demanded, almost as if it were a plea. 

You threw your hands out to the side, a gesture of giving up. “I...I felt relief, knowing they wouldn’t hurt anyone else, alright? It didn’t feel satisfactory, it didn’t feel sexual, it didn’t feel euphoric. I don’t get high doing it like Dexter does, okay? I just do it as a means to an end. I just do it because the way the FBI works is too damn long with no guarantee, so I took matters into my own hands. I did what every agent dreams of doing.” 

Spencer eyed you up and down for a moment, and you couldn’t quite tell what he was thinking. Perhaps he was about to turn you in. Maybe he was rethinking the marriage. Maybe he was finally understanding you. 

“Are you worried that maybe getting inside killer’s heads that now maybe they’ve gotten into mine?” 

“No, I don’t. You’re smarter than that.” 

“Then profile me, Spence.” 

He made an anguished, frustrated expression. “Y/N, don’t do this. We’re better than this.” 

“No, I want you to do it. What do you see when you look at me? An unsub, or your wife?”

He took a few steps towards you. “I see both, don’t you get that? That’s why this is so hard for me. I understand where you’re coming from, I do, but I can’t justify what you’ve done. As much as I may love you, I can’t pretend this is okay.” 

You nodded, your chest getting tighter as you started to feel colder. “I understand that. You do what you have to do, I won’t stand in your way. I never have.” 

“But you aren’t going after the people who hurt me,” he noted after a moment of quiet. “You said you were doing this because of the things that happened to me, but you aren’t killing them.”

“You’re right. I’m going after surrogates. You know who I kill?” 

“Does it matter?”

“To me it does… Spence, I kill animal abusers. People who use animals for personal gain. People who run unsanitary farms. People who hurt an innocent creature. I honestly do try to do this to uphold the oath we took. I know it’s messy, I know it’s not the way you’d do it, or anyone should do it, but life was starting to feel a little… pointless. I felt like, what’s the point in doing the investigating, going through red tape, following protocol, if all it gets us is a guilty man back out on the streets? I’m not saying we deserve forgiveness or a pass. I’m just hoping you can understand why I did it. I did it for people like you who are just doing their job and wind up victims to sadistic, cruel people.”

He sat there and his eyes drifted down to the floor. 

“I watched you turn into a shell of a man in prison thanks to some psycho with a vendetta, and even worse, you came pretty close to becoming what I am.”

He nodded for a moment. “I...That was--”

“I’m not faulting you, Spence,” you assured, putting your hand on his knee. You were thrilled when he didn’t cringe away from you. 

“No, I mean, I’m not any better. I laced those men’s drugs with poison. I wanted them to die. I saw them kill Luis and I guess I snapped…I had no excuse to do that.” 

You bobbed your head. “Do you see now, how I can do what I did?” 

“I don’t know. It’s such a big leap. I mean, I killed because they murdered my friend. You don’t even know these people.”

“I don’t have to know them to know their victims didn’t deserve it.”

“This goes against everything I stand for as an agent, and worst of all, you’re doing it. If you were anyone else, I would’ve called this in by now. But it’s you and I can’t… can’t watch you go through what I did.” 

You bit your lip. “I’ll respect any decision you make. If I’m being honest, I told you the truth because having you believe I was unfaithful and losing you that way would hurt a hell of a lot worse. At least this way, I hope somewhere you can find it in you to see where I’m coming from. After eight years of dealing with lost battles, almost losing you, and watching the injustice in this world, that’s where I stand. But if you left me because of a lie, a lie that could never, ever be true, I couldn’t live with myself. You knowing I am faithful to you, that I love you, means more to me than anything else. I hope you can see that.” 

“I do. I know the toll this job takes.”

You nodded. “If you can think of it like dilaudid, it’s kind of like that. It’s really an addiction for Dexter, not so much for me, but it is… a bit of a stress relief, to know those people won’t be hurting anyone any more.” 

For a moment you two sat there in quietness. The silence killed you, and while the next words out of your mouth were agonizing, you felt they needed to be said, for his peace of mind. 

“I understand if you don't love or trust me any more. If you want a divorce while you decide, I would understand. It would kill me, but I would. I just hope you know I honestly did this all to protect other people." 

He peered at you, something… kind deep within his gaze. 

“Right now… I don’t know what I want. I don’t want to make any rash decisions. Like I said, I’ve tried to murder people too, so I can’t exactly play the superiority card right now. Let me just think on it. I’m going to go back home to D.C. while I figure out what I want to do. You can wrap up your semester here, and then by the time you get home, I’ll let you know what I decide.” 

You nodded, your chest tightening. This was it, wasn’t it? He was going to go home, file for divorce, and send you and Dexter off to a maximum security prison. 

“What about us in the meantime? Should I not call you or…?” 

“I’d rather you didn’t. I don’t want my decision to be made by any emotional attachments.”

“Understood,” you said, fighting the lump in your throat. 

“Could you do me a favor though?”

“Anything.”

“Don’t… kill any more?”

“I won’t,” you promised quickly. 

He nodded and stood up from the coffee table. 

“Are you going to stay here?” you asked as you stood, hugging yourself. This was so god damn painful. Watching your husband treat you like a criminal. No touching, hugging, kissing. No kind or sweet words. No nicknames. Just cold, calculated interviews. 

“I’ll be at a hotel, and I’ll leave in the morning.”

“You could always stay here,” you offered. 

“I don’t think I can do that,” he said solemnly. “I… I can’t be in the same room with the woman I love, and the woman who kills.”

All you did was nod. 

He didn’t do anything but bob his head once, then he ducked out of your apartment. 

You stayed awake all night that night, not a minute went by that you weren’t crying. Not because of losing your freedom, or losing your job, or damning Dexter, or failing at just keeping a secret. You could live with all that - but losing your marriage, Spencer… That was the kicker. 

The horrible part was that it was worth it though. To know those animals got out safely from those dog fighting rings. To know that those innocent people at that chef’s restaurant weren’t going to suffer any more. As much as it ached, down to your very bones to lose the one man you’d ever loved, the one man who was perfect in your eyes, at the end of the day, people and animals needed saving, and you did that. You gave them that justice. 

Now, you had two weeks to live the rest of your life. You wondered what you would do with it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[lisinfleur]

On the Verge - Part II

The Request:                                  

Author’s Notes | I don’t know if I really should have queued this for 5CW Ivar, so, well… Here it is, haha I hope you like it! Universe | Vikings Pairing | Sigurd x Reader Info | Viking Age AU, requested by anon for 5CW7. Part I available here. Words | 2385 ⁑ Warnings: Some cursing, betrayal, mentions of blood, and violence.

The gods were merciful on you: Ivar accepted the whole mead you placed in his cup during dinner and fell asleep easily by your side. So, with the night high, you placed a pair of your simpler dresses in a bag along with some of your jewelry you knew were valuable to be sold for some money later. Anything Ivar gave to you was added to your bag; not even your morgen-gifu - even thou you knew that collar and earrings would worth a fortune. You didn't want him to have any ways to find you and Sigurd and selling a jewel like that one - made under an order for him, a unique piece - would surely be to leave some kind of trace behind; a trail that Ivar could follow towards the sanctuary of your dream life.

You got dressed in a cotton dress and a hooded cloak you ordered from a slave during that day: this way, no one would say Sigurd had left with his queen, but with a slave by his side. You hoped it would confuse his men even more, dispersing the followers.

Your eyes landed on that man sleeping in the bed you called yours for a long time. You felt some guilt of leaving like that, betraying him like that. But it was never in your hands to save that marriage. It was in his hands to stop beating you; stop treating you like a slave; to recognize you were his wife, not his toy.

You sent a prayer on the gods for your safe departure one more time and mutely asking forgiveness for abandoning your husband like this, you left your room, following to the hall's entrance where Sigurd was waiting for you as treated.

"My love..." he mumbled, cupping your face and kissing your lips softly before taking your hand. "We shall leave soon, before someone can see us."

"Someone like me, for an example?" the rough voice sounded behind the two of you and Sigurd pulled you to his back, unsheathing his ax, ready to fight whoever had discovered the two of you.

At the door of the hall, that tall and white-haired man Ivar had hired not long from that night. He told you it was a bodyguard - "I'm a cripple, I need a bodyguard!" he said. But that man was looking at the two of you with plenty of awareness of your relationship as if it wasn't a surprise for him to see you and Sigurd together that way.

"You decided to fuck the wife of a king, boy... What do you think would happen to the two of you, uh?" he said, unsheathing his sword, causing chills down your spine to think the plans you had with Sigurd would end up in a fight like that. "You would fuck everywhere behind his back and he would never notice the stains in his children's eyes? No... King Ivar is no fool, boy." he insisted on calling Sigurd a boy, pointing his sword towards him. "But you can still save your skin, prince. Despite what you did, you're still his brother. A son of Ragnar, after all... People will speak of her betrayal. Of how the queen lured her brother in law into her bed... Poor prince Sigurd caught in the mermaid's chant. You're a man, after all, boy. Our dicks have needs and no one will condemn you for getting your dick wet when she was offering this to you so freely. This story will spread all over Kattegat if you just deliver the woman and leave now..."

His terrible ways to speak, so unpolite and offensive, were getting you sick: he was offering Sigurd to put the whole guilt on you and get himself clean? What kind of demon did Ivar hire to follow your steps?

However, it wasn't a surprise: an evil man like your husband wouldn't attract anything but his pairs.

"On the other hand, I can just kill you here and then, nobody will prevent us from leaving and we'll be long far away from here when the flies find your body days before my brother can even notice your absence!" Sigurd spat back, holding the ax with a stronger grip.

He was disposed to fight for you. But the last thing you wanted was that white-haired beast to hurt your prince.

"Please, stop this madness!" you begged, trying to appeal to that man's reason - if someone with his kind of thoughts could follow any kind of reasonable thread. "You have been watching us, I know that, but if you did, then you saw the things your king does to me! I didn't ask to be married to him neither he had to do it if he didn't want! Why in the nine realms is he treating me like that? Is this what a man shall do to his wife? I just searched for the proper treatment, hands that would caress me instead of slapping my face for mistakes that aren't mine! It's not my fault that your king can't please a woman nor produce children! He cannot blame it on me and I would have accepted him anyway if he wasn't a monster!" you yelled, but the bodyguard just sighed.

"This is not of my business, woman," he said, shutting you down with your hopes that he could ever let the two of you pass peacefully. "I was hired to prevent you from leaving with your brother in law and I'll fulfill the task I was paid for. I am a man who honors his word."

"So am I," said Sigurd, angrily unsheathing the second ax and getting himself ready to battle. "I told Y/N I would save her from my brother's stupid hands and I will, at any costs!"

The bodyguard smiled at you, debauched.

"You must have a great pussy, woman... Your husband paid me a high price in gold and now your lover wants to pay me a high price in blood... Both of them wanting to be the only one to sink a cock into your holes. You must be terrific!" he growled, advanced without a warning, engaging with Sigurd in a battle you knew could cost his life but, at the lighter bad scenario, would wake the whole house.

Including your psycho husband...

The candle flames were already starting to show up at the windows telling you the tragedy was about to happen. It wasn't time to be honored nor to follow rules.

You knew you couldn't interfere in a single-combat like that. You knew Sigurd was proving his value and even showing he was worthy of your love. However, you rather have him alive and well by your side away from there, than having him covered in blood, winning that battle just to lose his life to his angry brother that would come soon.

Ivar wouldn't ask...

He wouldn't wait...

So, didn't you.

Taking the chance while the white-haired man was distracted by Sigurd's movements, trying to hit him and not being hit by his axes; you took a stone that you could barely lift. Mutely asking the gods' forgiveness for breaking the rules like that, you took the right moment when a strike from Sigurd approached that man's head from you enough and you hit it with the stone as hard as you could with a small squeal and your eyes closed.

Your fingers let go of the stone as soon as you felt its weight finding some resistance against that man's head and his grunt of pain. Shaking, you opened your eyes to see Sigurd looking at you, surprised. The white-haired man was on the ground; his head bleeding.

It wasn't honored. It wasn't right. But Sigurd knew it was his only chance.

Your only chance.

"Y/N!" Ivar's voice resounded inside the hall and you saw Ubbe and Hvitserk coming through the door.

There wasn't time anymore.

Sigurd caught you by the hand and his eyes looked straight at yours.

"Come!"

The two of you started running through the woods towards the docks. It didn't take too much for you to hear that characteristic sound not too far from where the two of you were now: Ivar had his chariot and the horses were right after you.

There wasn't time for a safe crossing: as soon as Sigurd and you reached the docks, he pulled you inside the water, swimming with you a little forward on the sea to reach the boat he strategically had placed a little away from the coast. It wasn't too big, nothing to go too far or travel too long through the sea, but Sigurd had some plans and he knew where to find good horses that would take you away from Kattegat and Ivar once and for all.

The two of you were already near the boat when your husband's voice was loudly heard from the docks, yelling furiously.

"SIGURD, YOU BASTARD! I'LL HUNT YOU UNTIL MIDGARD'S CONFINES, YOU MOTHERFUCKER TRAITOROUS VIPER!"

Your eyes reached his image at the docks and you saw Ubbe and Hvitserk landing from their horses, standing beside him.

Ubbe came closer, probably trying to calm Ivar down as he was always trying to do, but Ivar took the chance and you saw the worst: your furious husband took his older brother's bow from his back and aimed an arrow, shooting towards the two of you. You only had the time to hear Ubbe yelling Ivar's name and pull Sigurd aside, preventing the arrow from crossing his chest or any vital spot, but not from hitting his arm, causing a growl of pain when he fell into the boat.

You went for him, but thank the gods the wound wasn't too harsh: the arrow crossed near the skin and it was easy for him to break the back of it, pulling it out of his arm, pressing the wound with a piece of your dress you ripped to tie around his arm and cover the wound.

"Fucking bastard!" Sigurd cursed low, as Ivar's voice could still be heard, cursing from the docks when Ubbe took the bow from his hands, preventing him from shooting another stolen arrow towards you this time.

"Enough!" Ubbe stated, angrily.

"He stole my wife, and you keep protecting that viper? I should set this arrow on fire and shot to their boat so both of them would die or be forced to come back! Bastards! That's what they are! A treacherous bastard and a filthy whore!"

"I said enough!" Ubbe insisted, looking at his younger brother. "You never wanted her! You treated her like shit since the two of you got married! You don't want her even now, Ivar! Your biggest anger now is that Sigurd was the one taking her away because if it was any of us into that boat, you wouldn't give a fuck! You even spoke about sharing her with Hvitserk more than once! Stop being a hypocrite and stick to the facts: you don't love that woman and Sigurd is the brother you hate the most. So, stop yelling... You got rid of both tonight."

Ivar frowned.

Ubbe was right: with your treason, he was released from the vows he made in your favor and he could marry whoever he wanted - and maybe he would marry Freydis and turn her into a queen just to spit on your image knowing you hated her with all your heart! And, as a bonus, Sigurd wouldn't be there anymore to spoil his mornings with his despicable voice and disgusting argumentations, always trying to make him a fool in front of everyone.

He was free from the two worse obstacles impeding his happiness. But the price was too high to be paid.

"People will mock on me because my bitchy wife left with my hateful brother under my nose!" he yelled, full of anger.

"Then stop the scandal and announce them all you expelled Sigurd and Y/N from Kattegat when you discovered their treason," Hvitserk suggested. "No one will ever know if you stop yelling the truth around like a choking crow."

"You know! Ubbe knows! And Whitehair!" he growled.

"You pay Whitehair enough for his mouth to be shut. And neither of us has any interest in spreading the word, Ivar," Hvitserk stated again. "The woman deserves some peace. She suffered enough in your hands. Let her go..."

"Sigurd loves her," Ubbe said. "I wouldn't have any reason to tell anybody the truth and allow you to have a reason to hunt my brother wherever he goes. I may never see Sigurd again after tonight. I rather know he's happy somewhere far away from here. Let us go home, Ivar.  Just let them go..."

You could see the icy blues of your husband still looking at you. Those blues would hunt you forever, you knew. But Ivar went back to his chariot, and soon you saw them leaving the docks that soon dove into the dense mist of the night.

Sigurd started paddling, taking the boat further and further from the coast. And soon, it was just the two of you in the night.

"I can't believe it worked," you mumbled, breaking the silence after a long time. "I can't believe I'm finally free!"

Sigurd smiled at you, caressing your face with one of his hands. The wound in his arms had stopped bleeding so strongly. You took off your marriage ring and placed it together with your jewels.

"I'll sell it... All of it. I don't need any of these things."

"I brought some valuable things as well," Sigurd said, sighing. “Tomorrow we shall reach Vestfold. Then, we sell these things, I'll pick up the horses I have prepared in a barn for us and we'll be free, my love." he said as you moved to lay yourself against his chest, kissing his neck softly.

His free hand touched your hair caressing it slowly.

"I'll take you far away from here. And then, I'll marry you, my princess..."

"And we shall be happy," you said.

"And we shall be happy," he repeated, sighing in relief.

The two of you were finally free. And you could only pray Ivar would follow his way and leave you alone for good.

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[medea10]

My Review of Fushigi Yugi

[dangermousie]

2020 End of Year Post - kdrama edition

You can find my 2020 cdrama post here: dangermousie.tumblr.com/post/638449659546845184/2020-end-of-year-post-cdrama-edition

This is only going to cover kdramas that aired in 2020; if it originally aired another year, it’s not on this list.

It’s been a pretty lackluster kdrama year. There are probably only 5 kdramas I truly loved and only three of them I was really obsessed over. Better luck in 2021!

DRAMAS WATCHED

(In order of liking from least to most as opposed to pure quality; I am including if I’ve seen enough to make up my mind; yes I realize that’s inaccurate, but that’s my list)

42 Born Again - so bad, so incoherent, so insane, I have no idea why the leads signed up for it (and unlike some of the other watchers, I think it was awful from the very start.) There is literally nothing about this drama that makes sense.

41 Love with Flaws - a bunch of people who should be tried under the Geneva Convention.

40 Sweet Munchies - Jung Il Woo proves his inability to pick a functional script.

39 Meow the Secret Boy - if you ever wanted to bang a cat, this drama is for you. Not being a furry, however...

38 Do Do Sol Sol La Sol - I lost braincells just typing out this title.

37 When I Was the Most Beautiful - the only way it’s not the dumbest, most pointless melo of 2020 is because Born Again considerately came out the same year.

36 Woman of 9.9 Billion - if you want to watch an artsy French movie about miserable people, but only badly made, boy do I have a drama for you.

35 Lies after Lies - screams after screams.

34 Backstreet Rookie - people were up in arms about various problematic plots. I am a survivor of many plots much more problematic but even I couldn’t survive how utterly boring and annoying this drama was and how utterly irritating the leads were. This has taken Ji Chang Wook off my top favorites into “should I even check his latest Lovestruck in the City? Probably not” territory almost single-handedly (Melt Me helped, to be fair.)

33 Men Are Men - boring is boring.

32 Dinner Mate - two beautiful boring people eat out a lot.

31 Was It Love - no it wasn’t.

30 Alice - Joo Won in the shower can make up for a multitude of sins but not plot nonsense of such magnitude. When you find yourself thinking it would be better if he hooked up with the alternate universe version of his mother because at least then something entertaining would happen, you know it’s bad.

29 More than Friends - started out OK, then made me hate basically everyone and kept going.

28 Start-Up - honestly, it’s probably more decent than its place here, but the toxic and batshit fandom for it (the worst this year) made me feel like breaking out in hives any time it’s even mentioned.

27 The Spies who Loved Me - how to take a good cast and waste it.

26 Private Lives - it was good but it never took off with its concept and spent more time on the incoherent plot than the OTP which was its one strength. It’s a decent drama but coming after Heartless City and My Beautiful Bride from the same writer, it’s a disappointment.

25 Record of Youth - as high as it is due to Park Bo Gum hard carrying this entire awful drama on his shoulders and doing it so well I finished it. Alas, while he is in one drama (and that drama is great), the rest of the characters and the entirety of the script are a pointless useless mess.

24 Do You Like Brahms - excellent first third, mediocre middle, and terrible last third. I don’t know what musical term applies to this? Diminuendo, I think.

23 I’ll Go to You When the Weather is Nice - nice and mellow but nothing much happens.

22 Forest - mainly for Park Hae Jin’s excellent and frequently naked bod.

21 The Ballot - I didn’t love it as much as everyone did but it was well-made.

20 Hyena - more romance and less weird law stuff would make it better.

19 365 Repeat the Year - surprisingly solid.

18 The Game Towards Zero - see 365.

17 When My Love Blooms - very old fashioned, very lovely.

16 Chocolate - also very old fashioned and very lovely but also with Yoon Kye Sang performing medical procedures bleeding and shirtless. MMM.

15 (tie) Secret Royal Inspector - a fun if run of the mill sageuk.

15 Find Me In Your Memory - best melo this year.

14 Mystic Pop Up Bar - surprisingly good even though I wasn’t planning to check it out.

13 Where Your Eyes Linger - came out of nowhere but was tender and hopeful and lovely.

12 Itaewon Class - Park Seo Joon hard carries a drama that is already excellent. Love it.

11 Psychopath Diary - Yoon Shi Yoon is such a treat in a hilarious, cynical, dark comedy.

10 Kairos - more like ouroboros.

9 Queen Love and War - in a year where sageuks are very rare, this was solid and surprisingly moving and shippy.

8 The King Eternal Monarch - people didn’t like it but I did. It’s no masterpiece and both the leads and the writers have better dramas, but it was a lovely romantic fairy tale for me.

7 Mr. Queen - sharp, hilarious, and some of my favorite actors.

6 Psycho But It’s OK - healing, sharp cinematography and even sharper chemistry.

5 Crash Landing on You - the last ep pissed me off so much this drama is dead to me but I loved it so much until then I can’t place it lower in good conscience.

4 Train - who knew I would go this hard for an OCN drama or that OCN would do romance so well? But this time-travel mystery romance is just incredible and I shipped the OTP and rooted for the characters and loved every last bit of it.

3 Run On - this is the drama Record of Youth wanted to be but failed. Smart and lived in, you feel like you are peeking at real people, but also even four episodes in, I am so invested in the main characters separately and together, and care for them so much, it’s a little frightening.

1 (tie) Tale of the Nine Tailed - my perfect fantasy romance. I liked it better than Goblin, yeah I said it.

1 Flower of Evil - all the tropes I love in one incredible package. I would rewatch episodes waiting for new ones trying to puzzle the story and to stay withdrawal but it works just as well on rewatch. Lee Jun Ki brings his trademark tortured intensity and for once, both his leading lady and his script back him up and are worthy of that. It’s perfect.

FAVORITE DRAMA

It’s a tie between Tale of the Nine Tailed and Flower of Evil but if I had to pick just one, FoE, because it had me seriously obsessed and guessing about the protagonist and gave me the narrative tropes I love so much and an OTP that statisfied all my hurt/comfort kinks and then some.

WORST DRAMA

Born Again - honestly, this is so bonkers it almost becomes good but alas...

FAVORITE MALE CHARACTER

Do Hyun Soo/Baek Hee Sung, Flower of Evil - he is so messed up, so on edge, so traumatized. Yet capable of so much warmth and caring even as he himself doesn’t realize his humanity. FoE is basically a story of a man pushed and punished by the world for his entire life who, because of one woman, finds a safe place and peace and slowly comes to life without realizing it, and watching his desperation to keep this small bit of normalcy is so heartbreaking and exciting all at once. Plus, you start the drama thinking he’s a psychopathic serial killer and end it (if you are me) thinking he must be protected at all costs and if anyone even looks at him wrong they must suffer, and that’s quite a change!

FAVORITE FEMALE CHARACTER

Nam Ji Ah, Tale of the Nine Tailed - she is so funny and tough and smart and loving and amazing that I will totally buy that a literal demi-god will do anything and everything for her and love her for literal eternity.

NEEDS TO BE MURDERED

Dad in Record of Youth - yes in a year with serial killers and supernatural demons, I picked a normal character from a mediocre drama. It’s his everyday awfulness to his family that hits so hard and I am sad he never got his comeuppance.

FAVORITE SHIP

Ji Ah x Yeon - a fearless reporter and an immortal demi-god who’s been hoping for his human beloved to reincarnate. A really rare set-up where the OTP is equally ride or die, so compatible and completely BAMF. I got why he waited for her for that long and then fell in love with her all over again. Perfection.

Runner up: Flower of Evil - he is so messed up he literally does not believe he is capable of love or empathy, but he falls in love with her anyway and so utterly she permeates his entire life. She is tough as nails and only believes what she sees and is the sole person who believes in him against the world. She loves him but he needs her. She needs him but he loves her. They are amazing.

FAVORITE SECONDARY OTP

Seo Dan x Gu Seung Jun, Crash Landing on You, North Korean x Conman were so good I shipped them harder than the main OTP and the end of that storyline pissed me off so much I dumped the drama and didn’t finish it for months (and it’s still dead to me.)

NOTP

Record of Youth - it started out and they didn’t have much chemistry but the dialogues were interesting and I thought the chemistry would grow. It didn’t and deteriorated, their dialogues became boring and relationship had zero development (about as much as the supposed female lead.) I think we were supposed to feel bad they broke up and they were going for a bittersweet open ending, instead I found myself happy about the break up of two incompatible, chemistry-less people and hoping for the love of God they never get back together.

FAVORITE SCENE

Yeon and the bridge of knives, Tale of the Nine Tailed - Yeon choosing to undergo the creeptastic bridge of knives for a chance to save Ji Ah, who at that point he is not aware is the reincarnation of his Joseon love because, as he says, he doesn’t care if she is or isn’t, it just would be more horrible to have her die than to undergo the horrific torture he is undergoing, and then the sequence with his catching her, her weeping over him and the fact that she is the original Joseon girl revealed and all the bandaging and his watching her sleep and all that loveliness, is everything for yours truly.

Runner up: Hyun Soo having that break-down at the cliff at the end of ep 15 of Flower of Evil as Ji Won desperately tries to convince him she is alive and he finally stumbles to her.

Runner runner up (it’s my list, I will do what I want): Do Won preparing to blow his brains out to give a chance to Seo Kyung to live in Train.

BIGGEST CRUSH

Seon-Gyeom, Run On. Yeah, I know. Im Siwan is tiny, delicate featured and has a runner’s build, none of which are things that normally appeal to me. But his character is so odd, so honest, so unflinching in pursuing what he thinks is right, so incapable of self-pity despite plenty of reasons for it, and so ridiculously attractive when he smiles, I don’t even care.

BEST SCENE STEALER CHARACTER

Kim Bum, TotNT - I started out being annoyed by him and ended up looking forward to his scenes and being distraught by his ending.

NEEDS A SEQUEL

Honestly, none. I was fine with all the endings. I wouldn’t mind seeing post-end life of Tale of the Nine Tailed characters or the OTP settling into their literal new world in Train, but I am good.

TROPE THAT NEEDS TO DIE

Time jump that solves all the problems off screen or alternatively years pass and everyone is frozen - something that kdramas need to learn and need to learn badly. See Record of Youth, Brahms and Start Up.

FAVORITE TROPE WE’VE SEEN A LOT OF

Men who are ride or die for their OTP - this was a great year for this - the male leads of four of my five dramas were beyond anything on that scale (only exception is Run On because it’s still too early to tell there.) Yes PLEASE.

BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT

This was a banner year for that what with Start Up, Do You Like Brahms, Record of Youth, and Private Lives all starting out well and nosediving off the cliff but winner is Crash Landing on You. I loved it so much for bulk of its run but the last episode pissed me off so much I deleted all my files and called it a day.

BIGGEST GOOD SURPRISE

Flower of Evil - I had no expectations of this drama and wasn’t even planning on watching it despite liking both the lead actors because yet another “look at evil serial killer be evil” drama with no romance was not my thing. Luckily someone convinced me there might be some romance and I peeked curiously. Honestly, their promo campaign was the most misleading and dumbest thing ever.

Runner up Psycho but it’s OK - I have never liked Kim Soo Hyun in anything before and the drama premise seemed WTF but it was shockingly good and KSH totally blew me away.

Hardest Working Lead

Yoon Shi Yoon - he starred in two (!!!) dramas in 2020 playing three characters and not only were both these dramas awesome in a lackluster year, but if it wasn’t for the fact that I knew it was the same actor and the fact that the characters shared a face, I would have never believed that they were played by the same actor. So good!

2020 DRAMAS I HAVEN’T SEEN THAT I MOST WANT TO WATCH

None. Covid Year gave me PLENTY of time

BEST NON-2020 DRAMA I’VE WATCHED IN 2020

My Beautiful Bride and Deserving of the Name - I was obsessed with both of them and honestly, they were much better than the bulk of 2020 kdramas I watched.

MOST ANTICIPATED IN 2021

The Moon That Rises in the Day, Hong Chun Gi, Joseon Exorcist, Island,  Frightening Cohabitation, Snowdrop.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis: Ego

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS!)

Years ago, comic book movies were absolutely, totally afraid to be even a little weird. Raimi carried the weirdness torch for a while thanks to the success of the Spider-Man trilogy, but for some reason he was the only person unafraid to be goofy; even Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer, a movie about one of the more fun and campy classical hero teams, was completely and utterly afraid to show a big man in purple armor who eats planets and so instead opted to show us an intergalactic fart cloud. The precedent set by franchises like Blade, X-Men, and Nolan’s Batman films lingered for a long time.

Then along came James Gunn.

Gunn is a man unafraid to be weird, and Guardians of the Galaxy really changed the game in 2014. There’s a gun-toting raccoon, a talking tree, a bald blue cyborg woman, and an alcoholic duck, and the movie is a smash hit critically and financially; there is now no excuse not to put the wierdest stuff from the comics faithfully into film. And for the sequel, Gunn apparently saw fit to bring in one of Marvel’s most bonkers bad guys: Ego, the Living Planet.

Ego is the perfect example of how to adapt something utterly bizarre from the comics, changing some major elements while still staying true to the nature of the character himself. Ego here is Peter Quill’s father, something that isn’t true in the comics, as well as a Celestial, something also not true in the comics… but he is still a sentient planet, and he is still completely and utterly evil.

Actor: Kurt Russell, 80s superstar and the reason Solid Snake exists, plays Ego to perfection. Ego is a character with, well, an ego; he’s selfish, self-centered, and lacking in empathy, but he also needs to come off as charming and friendly or we the audience would see through him immediately. Russell is the exact perfect man for that job; this is a guy who managed to play a character who was mildly transphobic and still have them come off as likable. Russell is also able to switch from affable and charming to scary and furious with ease, which is a big help after the reveal when Ego drops all pretense. Russell just kills it, there’s no other way to put it.

Motivation/Goals: Ego has an almost sympathetic goal, one that, from a certain point of view, makes him come off as a bit sympathetic. The guy was drifting alone in the void for eons and had to piece himself together, so is it any wonder he was horrifically lonely when he was finally able to set out to find life? Of course, that loneliness and isolation led to him developing some really nasty personality traits, and so he decided the best course of action after finding out other intelligent life was “boring” was to plant seeds on every planet, sire a child with powers just like him, and then wipe out all life and turn all the planets in the universe into extensions of himself. It is a plan truly befitting a character with the name “Ego,” and while it is true his motivation is at least a little deserving of sympathy, his goals and how he goes about trying to ameliorate his pain is what makes Ego an irredeemable monster.

Personality: Ego is perhaps one of the most aptly named characters in all of fiction, and he’s also one of the few characters one could make the honest claim that his ego is literally the size of a planet. Ego puts forth this identity of a charming, fatherly figure, happy, affable, jokey… just really sweet and charming. But much like the avatar he uses, it’s all just a mask.

Look at how he talks about what he did to Peter’s mom; he says it with such a wistful, resigned melancholy flavored with this “I did what I had to do” smugness that is a twisted reflection of how one might recall their first date, and then follows it up with a horrifically callous response of “I know that sounds bad.” Ego is such a monstrous, unrepentant sociopath with so little regard for life that is beneath his lofty stature that I just don’t think he really comprehends things like empathy. He is the ultimate psychopathic manchild, an arrogant egotist who hides behind this friendly veneer until the moment things don’t go the way he wants, at which point he starts screaming, ranting, and raving. The fact he is completely and utterly taken aback that Peter would unload multiple shots into him after being told Ego gave his mother a brain tumor is really telling of just what kind of person he really is.

Final Fate: The bomb Groot planted on Ego’s brain goes off, and Ego’s avatar crumbles to dust as the planet begins to blow up, seeing as its brain just got obliterated. The beautiful karma of this moment makes it extra delicious; after putting that tumor on Meredith Quill’s brain, is it not fitting he die after having something planted on his brain?

Best Scene: Ego just really dominates every scene he’s in, but I think the big reveal, where he shows just what a sick and depraved villain with a lack of care for life as he reveals what he did to Meredith Quill, is one of the MCU’s finest scenes.

Best Quote: It took only one single line to cement Ego as the most horrible, evil, disgusting monster in the MCU: “It broke my heart to put that tumor in her head.”

Final Thoughts & Score: Ego is fantastic on so many levels, but one level I think should not be overlooked is on a meta level. As I mentioned, for the longest time silliness and weird concepts were out the door when it came to superhero films. One needs only look at the X-Men franchise to see how dour things were, with their dull black costumes and overwhelmingly miserable and unfun atmospheres. More lighthearted or sillier fare did not go over well, as Iron Man 2 and Green Lantern can attest, and magic was totally absent for a while in the MCU probably because of fears audiences wouldn’t take it seriously. But James Gunn changed all that, and I think Ego definitely played a huge role in cementing that audiences will embrace and love in the weirdest stuff out of comics. Thanks to Ego, I think a lot of other creators became unafraid to let that freak flag fly and put things in movies they might have been too worried to put in before, with the ultimate and best example being Mister Mind joining the DCEU in the end of Shazam! It gives me hope that Tawky Tawny might show up there in a sequel.

On a character level, Ego is without a doubt the most punchable scumbag in the entire MCU, with only Mysterio coming close. The fact he casually admits to killing Peter’s mother and expects him to be okay with it… Can you really blame Peter for immediately unloading his guns into his father? I mean, when faced with a man who is utterly unrepentant in killing a loved one that they also claimed they loved and says they had to do it to further their goals, would you not also have a knee-jerk reaction like that? Yes, I am getting at this being a canon moment that shows Peter’s reaction to Thanos in Infinity War was not a stupid moment, it was a moment that was built up by what he did to Ego. And I think that just adds to Ego even more, because he helped cement a character trait of Peter’s that would lead to one of the most horrific gut punches in cinematic history.

Ego is an easy 10/10, and is one of the MCU’s greatest villains. He’s a perfect “love to hate” character, and he’s also a perfect villain for a story about family. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 has family as a focal point of the story, with the arcs of every single character revolving around the idea that family doesn’t have to be blood ties, it can be with the people who love you and who you’ve bonded with the most. Yondu’s line of “He may’ve been your father, boy, but he wasn’t your daddy” is what really sells it, honestly; Ego is Peter’s biological father, yes, but Yondu raised him and even if he didn’t always do right by him, in the end he showed himself to be a better man and better dad than Ego ever could have hoped to be. I suppose that’s a bit off topic from Ego himself, but I feel like it’s important to note just how deeply thematic he is as a villain, tying into the core message of the story while also letting loose in utter sociopathic villainy.

I think there is a great irony in Ego’s ultimate plan; for all his claims of being lonely and desiring others like him, what exactly does he think would happen if the entire universe was nothing but himself? Would he truly have been satisfied? Perhaps; he was a narcissistic to the highest degree for sure. But I like that there is some ambiguity to things about Ego, I like how there are some things to think about, I like how a villain who has a plan that is not clearly thought out by them yet that they believe is the proper course of action is something of a setup for what Thanos would be.

And really, out of every other villain in the MCU, Ego is most like Thanos. The obvious part is the plan, though only Endgame Thanos really wanted to reshape the universe in his image; still, as I mentioned, their plans are both something they believe is the true and righteous course of action, though Thanos is far more sympathetic in this regard. They also both felt the need to sacrifice loved ones in pursuit of their goals, and they both have incredibly poor relationships with some of their kids. I think the main difference is that Thanos, for all his faults, does have some empathy, he does have some sympathetic traits even if they don’t redeem how much of an awful person he was. Ego has none of that. Ego squanders any sympathy he could have gained by being utterly unrepentant and casual about his misdeeds, which include slaughtering his other children and killing Peter’s mother despite claiming to have loved her dearly. At least Thanos openly wept at what he did to Gamora, at least he felt sadness,  guilt, and regret. Ego just doesn’t care. He did it because whatever he really felt for Meredith, there was only one person he could ever truly love: Himself.

In short, Yondu was right: that guy was a jackass.

[amphtaminedreams]

The Misogyny of Game of Thrones and its Treatment of Daenerys Targaryen: A Tale in Two Parts

TW// Discussion of Rape and Sexual Assault

The best way to sum up the majority of the Game of Thrones fan population’s relationship with Daenerys Targaryen is-

Daenerys: *breathes*

Game of Thrones fans: *insert Kermit trembling with anger GIF here*

You see, whilst every other character on the show can get away with anything short of rape and still be lavished in praise, Daenerys Targaryen only has to assert her claim to the throne and people are up in arms. 

And this tirade, courtesy of series 8 episode 4 of the show, isn’t just aimed at the fans. It’s aimed at the writers too. I’ve spent pretty much all day on Reddit criticising the way her character arc is clearly headed and desperately trying to make all those I-like-Arya-Stark-so-I-can’t-be-sexist fans see why I am so vehemently pissed off about it. Almost as pissed off as I am about the fact that every time I go to tweet something about Thrones on twitter, the most popular hashtag has multiple spelling errors. 

It’s hard not to notice that in an episode where one of the other female characters basically says that she needed to go through the abuse that she did to be the smart woman she is today (I mean, her just existing in King’s Landing and travelling alongside Little Finger would’ve been enough to explain Sansa’s political smarts and talent for manipulation but you know! Gotta throw a bit of rape in there too!), we also had Dany’s 2 male aides sit around and gossip about how the woman they’re supposed to be advising is out of control. Of course, forgetting the fact that part of Daenerys’ current state of mind is to do with her losing the majority of her army thanks to said advisors’ god awful advice; funnily enough, one of the most tired criticisms of Dany is that she doesn’t listen to anyone else but, like, I WISH that was true, if ONLY she would stop listening to the naive, dumbed down version of himself that Tyrion has become. Anyway, although it probably seems I’m writing this a bit prematurely, since we haven’t actually seen Daenerys go full “mad queen” yet, with all the mentions of her father (nicknamed the mad king after his enjoyment of roasting innocent people alive) and the way other characters have been speaking about her, it’s pretty obvious what’s to come. Not to mention that this episode’s final moments delivered what we are most likely supposed to see as the final trigger of Daenerys’ descent into “madness”, which was the wonderfully tasteful slaughter of the show’s only prominent woman of colour. I’m not even going to go into the symbolism of Missandei of Narth, previously liberated from slavery, dying in chains and how blatantly fucked up that is.

Imagine, the arc of a woman we’ve watched build an army, build followers, build self-confidence for 8 seasons, a woman who has been through abuse, rape, the death of her husband and child, the death of her best friends, the armies she built up, all of it, reduced to her ending up as the “mad queen” within the show’s universe. We know she won’t get a Jaime, Theon or Hound-style redemption arc either, she’ll end up dead, probably killed by one of the fandom’s more beloved characters. Because we all know her supposed madness justifies that, right? And lately on this show, everyone not protected with a hasty coat of plot armour and/or favouritism is dropping dead. 

I’m not saying Daenerys has to sit on the Iron Throne for me to be satisfied. She just deserved better than this. And in a show where Jon Snow can come back to life and Arya and Gendry can end up together and Sam Tarly can survive the Battle for Winterfell, surely, that isn’t so much to ask? She deserves to die without having her name dragged through the mud, without people acting as if her actions are inexplicable, without her being portrayed as if she’s just as bad as Cersei. She deserves to die that heroine that she is, the breaker of chains, the mother of dragons, the Khaleesi of the great grass sea and all that jazz, not another “crazy” woman.

She especially deserves to die without the fandom celebrating her demise as well, which they almost certainly will. The same fandom that cheered on Stannis Baratheon (up until the, ahem, daughter burning incident) for his ambition, ruthlessness and pride have long been calling Daenerys Targaryen a crazy, unreasonable tyrant for exhibiting the exact same qualities, albeit probably to a less cruel degree. Daenerys kills two traitors and she’s beyond redemption whilst Stannis burnt his own followers and was still rooted for by the masses. Jon Snow, The Hound, Jaime, they all cut down man after man after man and charge into battle without thinking, no big deal, they’re “good people at heart”, but Daenerys Targaryen is a psycho bitch, apparently, for using the weapon at her disposal to deal with enemies whilst at war and to punish slave masters. Double standards all round. It’s fine to dislike Daenerys Targaryen, but when criticisms are inconsistently applied to female characters versus male characters, I can’t help but think it’s rooted in misogyny, especially in a show with superfluous amounts of violence against women, a largely male audience, and since season 3, not a single woman in the writer’s room. If Dany does go on to burn down King’s Landing, it would be in a desperate attempt to wreak revenge on Cersei, a motive that usually spawns calls of “badass!” and an action movie trilogy when it’s a dude doing it (funny how women doing the same thing always gets them called vindictive and spiteful, isn’t it?). It would be an act of grief and an understandable outcome of having everything you’ve worked for all your life slip through your fingers to someone who doesn’t even want it, whilst in a foreign land, everyone you care about either turned on you or dead. If it was true that the woman who liberated thousands of slave men, women and children didn’t care about sparing the lives of the people living in the Red Keep, she would've burnt down King’s Landing and taken it the moment she arrived in Westeros, you know, back when she still had a huge army and 3 living dragons. Before she sacrificed them to save the lives of people she could’ve easily gone back to Essos and let perish, and wait for the winter to kill off her enemies. 

Yes, I’m uncomfortable with the idea of Game of Thrones ending with two “crazy women” facing off against each other whilst inadequate men, who’ve had a whole host of opportunities to stop things from getting to this point, sit around and get praised for doing the bare minimum. I’m uncomfortable because so many people with both conscious and subconscious misogynistic biases will delight in slagging off a bunch of female characters for being unreasonable and not fit to rule (don’t get me wrong, this definitely applies to Cersei but I will not stand to hear this about Dany, who did a fine job in Mereen when not having to deal with the Sons of the Harpies WHOM SHE EVENTUALLY DEALT WITH ANYWAY), whilst still patting themselves on the back for being inclusive just because they fanboy over the two female characters who refuse to associate with anything remotely feminine. Who excuse one character becoming a super assassin off screen but can’t excuse her pretty, dress wearing sister picking up some political know-how whilst spending her teenage years observing small council members and studying under Little Finger. Yes, as much as I love them, I’m talking about Brienne and “other girls are stupid” Arya Stark. In all of this, god do I want to apologise to Emilia Clarke and Nathalie Emmanuel for having to put up with their characters being decimated in such a way. They deserve better. We all do.

[silviasutton1989]

THE TRUE KINGS *Ch. 1 “The 1st Victim”

Face Claim: OC Count Isaac Bartus by Alexis Popas, Duchess Olivia  Nervarkis by Sophie Turner (but will sometimes change to Lily Cole) and King Liam by Daniel Henny other Characters will have face claims as well in the future

Author’s Note: Y’all I am so nervous right now! This is the most I have ever worked on a fanfic so I really hope you all enjoy it. It has taken me a month to get enough written up where I feel I am ready post it. Drake and Riley’s story will be in the future chapters as well. HERE IS THE TRUE KING!

Summary: With the unsuccessful end of Cordonia’s new King’s social season comes new challenges. Olivia is finally over her un-reciprocated feelings for Liam, she questions should she give her old friend Isaac another chance, Liam has to prove to his people he can rule his country without a queen. And everyone has to watch their backs as a new threat descends upon Cordonia. The True Kings are here and the only thing they want more than the crown is blood.

Word Count: 2000 +

Rating: NSFW (I’m going to rate every chapter Mature and NSFW because there is a great deal of violence sex mature subject matter course language and probably a lot of other bad things I cant think about right now.)

Mick was patting himself on the back for how well he could mask his thoughts. As he served each privileged unworthy noble their fancy champain at their fancy ball with their fancy clothes, through his smile he could only think--

“In a few hours I will kill you. All of you."

This job had been the best one yet finding a gig through the dark web wasn’t easy. Many people who would inquire any type of kill would eventually chicken out before he could even get his hands dirty. But not this one. No, this one came with a round trip ticket –several tickets for his crew- a fancy hotel and best of all money. Yes, this job paid in folds. And if all Mick had to do was find a willing crew to help, fly to some foreign place called Cordonia and kill some cocky basted who thinks he is literally a king that money would be easy takings.

He tried his best to keep the pleasantries but he was getting antsy, and the damn bow tie Boss made him and his crew wear was starting to throttle him.

“Excuse me young man.” Mick turns around to see a gruffly old geezer staring at him. He assumed the man would probably look a lot younger if it weren’t for that permanent scowl on his face.

“What—I mean ...Yes Sir?”

“Well as I told one of the other waiter’s the toast will be starting soon. I'm sure the King paid a great deal of money for you and your serving crew to be here it would be such a shame if I have to come to him with this mater...Hmm” He coughs and tries to straighten his chest the bastard didn’t even know how close he was to death. “As I explained to your other server, Beaumont’s must toast with Merlot. I have been asking for a bottle of Cheval Blanc for the past 20 minutes! I can’t stress enough how important this—“

“Sir let me get right on that!” Mick tried his best to look hospitable but he clearly looked agitated, his smile showing all front teeth made him looked pained like someone was sticking him with safety pins. He brushes past the old man deciding it would be best to let the geezer have his last drink than to wring his neck right there.

Mick walks over to one of the double door, waiting is a tall lanky waiter leaning on the wall, holding up an empty serving tray in his hand.

"Geez  Fuller! Boss said we're supposed to look like the staff. Put some drinks on your tray at least Geez!" His exasperated sigh is loud and makes Fuller straighten up.

"Sorry Mick but this party is boring. Hell they can't even get drunk right.  These pompous windbags need another glass of wine like they need  a hole in their heads. Heh heh."

The two chuckle to themselves. "That may be true but we have to look the part Boss is paying us good money to hit our targets and we wont get the chance if they fire us before the toast." Mick looks around the ballroom the crowd filled with wide eyes and laughter. Putting a few drinks on his tray Fuller leans toward Mick, "So which ones you plan to pop first. I was thinking that short haired blonde over there. She has that whole tragic "die while your young and beautiful" thing going for her. I figure I'd do her the favor."

"Let me guess you tried to flirt with her?"

"Heh Yeah the stuck up bitch just laughed in my face....all I said was "hi" and she cackled and walked away like I was a joke... we will see whose laughing tonight." Fuller chuckles as he watches the girl in the crowd, it wasn't hard to spot that emerald dress.

"Focus Fuller, we have two targets the king and his mistress. I need as many bullets in them as possible. After we kill them then you can get whoever else  you want. Speaking of which have you seen the King?"

"Oh yeah he stepped out of here bout 5 minutes ago with some red hot little number. Heh, by the way he looked at her they weren't going to do much talking." Fuller laughs is uncontrollable as a noble reaches for a glass. The noble gives him a questioning look before walking away. "If you ask me that's the best way to die, a fancy party, tasty food, the finest woman on her knees.. wooo! That's a lucky man!"

"That lucky man is going to die tonight, you fool." Mick looks into the crowd seeing the old geezer from a moment ago, they lock eyes as the man raises his wrist in the air and starts tapping on his shiny watch in frustration.

"Look I gotta go...give everyone the signal to be ready. It's time to lock the doors. Keep your's open so I can get back in. Boss all ready left so it's go time I need you all to focus.

"Chill Mick, this party is all ready dead!...Get it dead Ha!"

As he walks out the door he can still hear Fuller's laugh. Even through the music, he can hear the sounds of the doors locking on the other ends of the ball room. Fuller gave the signal, everyone is ready, now the show is only missing it's leading players: The king, and his mistress.

Mick tried to find the damn uppity crap drink that geezer asked for but he didn't want to go too far from the ballroom. It was almost showtime.

"Do you know how you looked out there? With his hands all over you like that? You have to think about your reputation " "My reputation? You dragged me out here to tell me to think about my reputation?! Liam I don't think I need your help in that department. In fact I think you are the last one since you're the reason my reputation is what it is." "I have no idea what you are talking about. I have done nothing but protect and defend you. When you were being blackmailed who got the Intel to help find out who did it? I'm just trying to be your friend here and tell you you are doing yourself  great disservice the way you are acting out there." "Liam I could go out there bare naked and what everyone says about me wouldn't be any different, it would just add to it. That the only reason I am still around your court is that I foolishly think you will marry me. Yeah now they may think I'm a whore too but....what's the difference between a dumb fool waiting for love that never comes and a whore? So thank you for the pep talk Liam but I don't need your help not now not ever. So don't drag me out here and act like you're giving friendly advice when really you're just jealous some has the balls to openly show they want to be with me, Liam."

Mick was about to past the bickering couple when he heard that name.

Liam

That's the King's name right? He quickly ducks to a nearby door, peeking over the corner to see if the two noticed him. They didn't, both were too busy trying to get the last word. He had them! Both the king and more than likely the mistress together and alone. This was fate; he could do the job right now and have time to grab some of those cream puffs before anyone even found their bodies. As he reaches for his gun he hears footsteps approaching he ducks further into the door trying his best to blend into the shadows.

"You know what? Do what you want I'm trying to be a friend and look out for you. I have to go give this speech. Maybe you should wait before coming in behind me."

The king walks right past him before he could get a shot.

Damn!

He leaves the shadows of the door into the light of the hallway as he watches the King walk into the ballroom.

"Who are you?"

He quickly turns to see the mistress. He forgot about her. Fuller wasn't lying, she is a beauty, but her eyes are staring daggers at him.

"I asked you a question, sir, and don't try to to say your a waiter those combat boots are a dead giveaway."

Before he could react she sees the gun in his hand and her eyes grow wide. As if on cue, she kicks the gun out of his hand.

"Guards!" She screams but only once. The lights go out. His hands are over her mouth in a second but her screams wouldn't have mattered anyway since the ballroom was clearly in its own chaos.

Damn they started without me!

He needed to get in there this was his mission how stupid would he look if it was his men who took out the King and not him. But this fiery mistress was going crazy in his arms, flinging from left and right trying to spring free. He swings his body fast and hard to the wall. He hears the dull thumb sound her head makes on contact, then she stops moving.

The lights come on and he sees the people running from the ballroom.

Shit.

On another side of the castle it is quiet and serine, nothing at all like the madness just a few yards away. There's a young woman in the driver seat of a large black van. She isn't startled by the sounds of  the van's back doors opening. In fact she's been waiting for the ten men to come back for hours. The van shakes slightly as they pile in. She can clearly hear that Fuller is still wired from adrenaline. Maybe it all worked out they killed that King guy now they will get paid and she can leave these psycho guys alone for good.

"I got one of them I just know it! Whoo! Shit this is better than sex I tell ya! Who you guys get?"

"I think I stabbed some girl. We should have practiced. Shoot everyone was running like crazy. Who'd you get Stunner?"

"It seems like you losers forgot the mission and I didn't see Mick so me and Marty went for the King."

"Whoo....No Shit?"

"Yeah No shit. The bastard clothes lined me, couldn't even draw my damn gun on him. So I moved on to the other target. What the fuck happened to you Marty?"

“Dude! He punch me!  He cracked my effin’ mask I didn't want my cover to be blown so I shot some random dude and I bolted. I think we really should have been informed on his defensive skills."

The men all agree in their own ways, as the young girl in the driver's seat turns to them.

"Where's Mick guys?"

They all shrug, scratching their heads trying to think of the last time they saw him.

"You idiots probably didn't even kill the targets AND you lost the guy that has our money?"

Her question never got a chance to be answered as the van’s back doors swing open once more. A body dressed in a long gown is thrown Into the van's floor right at the men's feet. There's a bag over her head and her hands are tide behind her back. Her screams are muffled as she squirms on the floor.

"So you started without me huh?" Everyone's attention moves from the body to Mack as he closes the van's door and sits next to Fuller. “Did anyone get the King?” No one answers him, too confused and embarrassed to speak.

"Mick you never came back and...well when the King started his speech...that's what we practiced. We couldn't miss our chance.” Fuller trails off. “What's with the dress?" He points to the squirming body below them.

"Oh, her? Well with you all fucking up the plan I had to make some adjustments to make sure we get paid....boys bow to the King's mistress." Mick's chin perked up as he watches all the men stare in awe, everyone but Stunner.

"Um... Mick you sure you got the mistress? I could have sworn I shot her."

"As sure as my name is Mick. Heard the two having a little lover's spat during the party. This is definitely our girl. I figure we hold her for ransom get a couple extra bucks. We can always kill the king later."

He lifts the body placing her in his lap.

"Be fore we kill her I have got's to see what make's her so special."

Mick's hand slides up her thigh. He bunches up her dress in his hand, and as if on cue her head leans forward before rearing back slamming into Mick's nose.

"Shit!" he howls before throwing her back on the van's floor.

The group chuckles until Mick looks up.

"Well why are we not moving? Let's Go!"

The young woman turns over the engine and begins to drive through the deep trees just as she was instructed. But she can't help but watch the body on the floor through her review mirror. She bet the girl behind that mask was a spoiled brat who didn't appreciate how good her life was. She also bet, being a King's mistress, she had to be beautiful. The young woman laughed at herself, she was jealous of a kidnapped soon to be dead mistress. But despite how senseless her feelings were she couldn't look away from the body and those beautiful deep red ringlets of curls that spilled out of the bag covering her head.

Tagging: Many of you requested to be tagged but I have terrible memory so I’m going to do a random list with each post. If you do or do not want to be tagged let me know. @boneandfur  @darley1101  @choiceswreckedme  @tmarie82 @tonyamariestark @gingerjane15 @sephkleio @zeniamiii  @july30th2013 @blackcatkita @alesana45 @choiceswhodunnit @livingfreetothefullist @pixelberry @pixelberryy @drakewalkerwhipped @drakesfiance  @endlessly-searching-for-you @american-duchess @snyggflicka @mrsdrakewalkerblog @jlouise88 @andy-loves-corgis @butindeed @josieschoices @speedyoperarascalparty @drakelover78 

[letgolovemyself]

They say you can’t heal in the same place you became broken. That is very much true. I don’t feel pain every day when I wake up and go pee thinking this is the same place we did that and took baths together and showered when you pretended to be happy. I’m not avoiding the kitchen because I see the ghost of you coming back from runs while I was finishing dinner or you standing there telling me stories or cooking with me. I don’t have to wake up in the same place that I saw the end of us happen. That helps a lot. A whole lot. But you know what doesn’t help? The ongoing, never ending pain that I have been trying to avoid so heavily of you telling me that the last three years were some of the worst years of your life, that you “were the happiest in your life for the first two” or that “I should have known that you were trying to leave for 3″. I cannot put into words the amount of pain the things you said to me when you were finally “free of me” haunt me to this day. I cannot even say it to another person because even as I am typing it, I am pausing every couple of seconds to cry. I know I did not love you right. It is no excuse to say that you deserved it because you did not. But do you and can you even comprehend what it means to have spent almost 6 holiday seasons with someone at your side? I thought I loved others before you but I don’t think I did. I remember the way YOU talked down to me, the way you made me feel small from the very beginning. I absolutely idolized you. That probably isn’t love. You picked kids names with me literally a month before you left. You left and told Ryan and your mom how I had the worst drug problem when I literally used to get mad at you for trying to get a buzz in any way possible. I literally asked for their help and they judged me and you didn’t stand up for me... And I cannot think back to that time in Florida without having a panic attack. I cannot think of myself sitting in that hotel room knowing it was over and you not even trying to talk to me without panicking. I cannot. It literally shakes me, I am shaking when I think about how horrible I felt during that time. I tried to give you space because that’s all you asked me for, but when I did you said that I abandoned you. Then when I returned, you said you could not be happier to see me. I think of myself in that hotel room and when you barely spoke to me and when you sent me to that psych ward and then basically never spoke to me again and I cannot think about it because it physically hurts me. I shake every time I picture those sheets or the times I begged you to stay and you were emotionless. And it was not just then, but it proves to me that you are an absolute monster, an absolute monster, a narcissist. Because you pulled me in every time I felt like I was going to die, you pulled me in with a string of hope and then looked at me blank faced and told me I was the problem. The worst part is, I feel lied to, I feel cheated, I feel absolutely broken. And I have tried my best to pick up these pieces. Because I was not like this before you. I am somehow so strong yet so weak and you would give me little pieces of how much you think I’m strong yet tell me it’s all my fault. You have absolutely broken me. It means so much to me that my closest friends and my family tell me that I have grown so much, but that is because I think I don’t tell anyone how bad it is. How can I tell anyone that I am struggling to remember who I am before you broke me down by telling me I’m the bad person all the time? 

I know I have not become less of a cokehead or an alcoholic, but I can say for sure that you would no longer recognize me. I will not be ashamed that I wanted you to become and always wanted you to be a person that loves me as much as I love you. To do everything I did for you for you to do for me. And I think that’s why I was so angry with and at you. I so badly wanted you to treat me the way I treated you. I know I was hurt by the fact that you did not let things go that happened 5 years ago, but I guess I didn’t either. The truth is, I deserve someone who stands up for me, that sees what they have and sees the mistreatment I was getting and said no. I’m not sure you’ll ever do that for a girl and if you do it won’t be me. I wasted 5 years waiting for you to see my worth and you never did and you were never going to. And if I loved myself and saw myself the way I do now (really only regarding you, I would have left). 

I am a full blown sadist. You told me for so many years that I need therapy. But how do I say that I enjoy making myself sad? To let people treat me badly, to cause others sadness and harm? I feel like I look at pictures of us voluntarily because I love the harm that it causes me. Now I look at pictures of you and I don’t find you attractive, I just torment myself with the memories. 

Not even you could tell me or convince me that every inch and fiber of my being loves you. I have slept with a number of people since we broke up, all of them fucking me up more than the last person, but somehow all of that pain is so displaced by the pain that you have caused me. 

I hate that I cannot give myself credit for the ways that I have grown. Sometimes I feel so happy to listen to good music, and I have accomplished so many of my goals without you here. I’m sure you feel the same. It should not matter to me how you feel. But 2 months ago, if I texted you and you did not respond (which you have not in 6 months), I would not be able to get out of bed. I would have called all my closest friends and family. I don’t shame myself anymore. You choosing not to respond is you, not me. I genuinely thank you for leaving me because if you did not, I never would have. I never would have left you because I was always wishing you would love me the way I deserved. It really does not matter who abused who more or who did it first, because we both know who started and ended it. No one who ever loved someone tells them that the last 3/5 years were a mistake and then blames it on me. That is what hurts. Not that I always knew. Not how you left. But the fact that you said that after all I gave to you. 

I don’t really care to know how free you feel without me,

who the abuser is and who is not.

I lost 40 pounds after you. Not because I tried to but because I became the person I was before you. Maybe not. I can’t eat a full meal and as pathetic as it is, I cooked that much because I gave every last inch of myself trying to prove my worth to you, but I never could.

I have not missed a day, not a day of work since we broke up. I have been hungover, drunk, coked out, no sleep, and I still go to work every single day because I am worth that much to me. I am worth eating a meal when I don’t want to. I’m worth standing up for myself and not feeling bad. I’m worth this amazing apartment in my dream location.

I cried cleaning that apartment, cleaning your mess, paying for your mess, I did that... by myself. I don’t know what’s more of a tragedy... that I lost myself in trying to get you to love me or the fact that I found a way to love me without you. The fact is, and I know this because you said it when you left, I AM the strongest person that you know, and you ARE the weakest person that I know. I know that my parents and Sam and Christian and Taylor and Smit and others have told me that they have seem TREMENDOUS growth from me, but I am the only person that woke up day after day and pushed myself. We both deserve not to say one more word to each other because what the fuck is there to say... That’s all I say to myself all the time... What is there to say? How can you look at me or hear from me and choose to respond when you cannot even fathom the pain you caused me? 

I was not the greatest to you. I was so horrible time and time again and there is no excuse. There isn’t for you either. Even after all this, the saddest moment of my life was my mom saying to me, “you need to let it go, that man does not want to be with you”. I can never forget that. 

And I do wish you the best. I know you will find someone that challenges you in a way you can understand and appreciate. I know you will find a girl that will comply to your low needs and barely help you grow. And she’ll make you smile, you’ll laugh with her, your family will love her. 

But Brendan, you will never forget me. You could never forget me as hard as you are trying and you will try, regardless of the fact that you never loved me like I love you, you cannot forget me. We met eyes and did not stop locking eyes for almost 6 entire years. I am absolutely the best thing that ever happened to you. I tried to help you grow, I challenged you, I stood by you through every single thing. Men leave women like me because you want a woman that is easier, a woman not like me. I am toxic, I am psycho, I am scary. But the thing is, I only do that to people I know I deserve better from. I stayed for so long (like you said) because I thought you’d feel the same. Maybe you will never get it, and you won’t because you are not that smart and you are not accountable, and you are more of a narcissist than me, but a woman like me is impossible to come by, you are settling, in the same way I was willing to.

[scoundrels-in-love]

Rainy recommends Kdramas

So I was slightly encouraged to make a kdrama rec list and, of course, I went overboard and went and wrote a long-ass list, but if it helps even one person, I will be happy. Besides, it’s excuse for me to rant about dramas I love and you know I can’t pass that up.

This list will be divided in multiple parts because I am a troubled watched. The titles will explain. (Genres I’ve written as per my opinion and are listed in alphabetic order cause I can’t decide how to do it otherwise, and dramas are too.) I also stopped added humor genre because most of these dramas have a fair share of humor and kept the tag only for the ones that felt purposely humor-made.

Disclaimer: This list is purely my opinion and I will not fight anyone who dislikes any drama listed here and I hope you will not fight with me. Or unfollow me. #awkward laughter. Also let it be noted I have at least one issue with each of these dramas, I do not proclaim anything perfect.

And now, finally, onto actual fic rec list, under the cut.

Kdramas I’ve 100% watched

Goblin Drama - Fantasy - Romance There seems to be only people who love it to pieces or quite profoundly dislike it. Obviously, I belong to the first group. It’s a visually stunning story that draws you in, makes you laugh your heart out and then sets it on fire. I tagged this as drama for a reason! In a way, it’s story of humankind, both at its worst and best. It’s a story of 300+ year old men being total adorable dorks. Of love and friendships that can be lost in twists of fate, but transcend a lifetime. It comes with 2 OTPs and no love triangles in conventional sense, OST that might blow your mind in best way and cinematography that takes breath away. Beware if your squick is visual age difference, though!! If not, watch away and beware: (lots of) tears may be shed.

Go Ho’s Starry Night Office Romance - Romance - Slice of Life A short and lovely watch that may surprise you. It tears into such topics as sexism, bigotry, prejudices and others, while not being too in your face about it.  As I once said,  It has all the good things of romcoms, but somehow pretty much deals with the fallout what would come with one. What’s more, it appeals to my love of jerks with heart of gold trope, in most pleasant way. Entertaining fun that isn’t all empty.

Hello Monster / I Remember You Crime - Family - Drama - Romance Though I added romance tag, this is just a side factor in grand scheme of things, though it does not feel forced and is emotionally satisfying. This is story of mistakes, of losing and finding what matters, of situations where there is no right answer. One of my greatest draws to this series was the acting, especially by three important men. Psychos that are so charismatic it hurts. Ambiguous good guys. All that good stuff.

It’s Okay, That’s Love Drama - Medical (sort of) - Psychological - Romance It’s not spoken of much and I feel the need to always rectify that, because while it might not be the most accurate portrayal of mental health care or even these issues, for me, while it might end up brushing over the end of some plot points a little too easily, there were many things that screamed deep and personal to me, that made me cry again and again as I stayed up till 5am to watch the final episodes because I could not stop anymore. Perhaps it’s one of those hits-one-in-a-hundred watch, but do give it a try, move past the eyeroll of first episodes and the male lead you may dislike (or female). What’s more, the acting is amazing and it’s chockfull with lovable side characters that have/create great and meaningful relationships and friendships.

Kill Me, Heal Me Drama -  Psychological - Romance What can I say, this drama is an experience on its own. It may lack in psychological accuracy and the female lead may seem like a screeching harpy at the start, but overall it’s very emotional ride with amazing acting and made me feel and cry quite a bit. At one point, if certain song came on, I knew I’d probably cry! But it’s not all sadness and gloom, in fact there’s so much humor and funny moments they’re brought up through drama cracks years later. And the male lead’s acting may just floor you. 7 (!) different characters and they all truly feel different, grow and change subtly.

Shopping King Louis Humor - Romance - Slice of Life Definitely a feel-good watch of chaebol (rich heir) and girl from countryside living in the capital and navigating the difficulties together. It’s cute, wacky and all around adorable, until it suddenly makes you quiver lip a little. It’s easy, sugary brain food and sometimes we need just that. (+ Male lead is played by same actor as in Hello Monster and the vast differences between characters are likely to wow you.)

Splash Splash Love Fantasy - Historical - Romance -  Time Travel If you want to spend 2 hours with easy, lovable watch, this may just be your thing. I heard a lot of positive feedback about it and thought it couldn’t be that great, but somehow it was! Pretty costumes? Check. Time Traveling? Check. Modern gadget shenanigans in historical era? Check. Sweet and troubled love? Check. Happy ending? Check. Don’t expect it to answer all your questions, it won’t, but face value of it is still worth it!

Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok Joo College/High School  - Romance  - Slice of Life My first drama and I would suggest it as first to watch for others, too. While the humor and even the characters may make you roll your eyes sometime, the theme of growing up and dealing with new and old wounds is handled with love and wiseness of heart. The eventual couple is amazing sorta enemies to friends to lovers trope embodiment and absolutely adorable. It’s a feel-good watch, until angst comes and smacks you in the face, and then you’re crying and healing along with the characters. The acting is excellent, it’s visually beautiful and there’s something charming about it. Give it a try, even if slice of life and college content isn’t your cup of tea. They aren’t mine either.

Kdramas I’ve not 100% finished, but I have watched most of it + finished with gifs, meta and clips and am still absolutely recommending and 100% plan to finish when I am emotionally and physically capable

20th Century Boy and Girl Friendship - Romance  - Slice of Life A drama lot of people ‘slept’ on because it was so quiet and subtle in some ways, and perhaps the writer was not quite sure what to do with it in the end, stretching some things far too long and not even delivering an upgrade, but... Somehow, I like(d) it a lot. So, so, so much. The female friendship of it made my heart soar, the gently blossoming romances made me physically grin so much it hurt and there were so many good, unusual dynamics about it you don’t usually see in a kdrama. If you’re in for a boat ride down a beautiful, slow and wide river where sometimes there’s a sudden bump with group of wonderful friends, this may be drama for you.

Because This is My First Life Friendship - Subtle Drama - Romance - Slice of Life Another girl friendship story. Well, it’s not just about girl friendship, but without it, the story wouldn’t be half of what it was. For me, this drama hit a lot personal spots, with our girls who are 30, but are still looking for their way in life and getting lost and finding themselves. It’s gentle, painful and reassuring all at once, there are tropes and then they’re flipped on the head in most amazing ways. The romance is slow and strange and pretty much wonderful. Maybe the characterization suffers a little in the end, but overall, I think when I do finish it, I will be satisfied and moved and feel like it was fitting conclusion for characters whose stories are in quite unique. And by this, I don’t mean just our main couple, but essentially the whole supporting cast, even rather minor characters!

School 2017 Friendship - High School - Romance - Slice of Life I am not one for high school stuff, and I don’t know when I will properly watch and finish this, but I do know I want to. Why? Because it gives me lovely characters with issues both on the superficial and deep level, fitting and transcending age group the characters are in. It’s well acted and has lovely friendships, a cute romance that is right up my alley, as it’s boy goes from fight me @ world to smitten kitten for his girl and also a lovely story of finding yourself as you grow up.

Strong Woman Do Bong Soon Fantasy/Superpowers - Humor - Romance This is a problematic favorite of mine, personally.  You won’t stick with this drama for plot, but you may for an OTP that consists of kookie, super strong girl and rich CEO who hires her to be his bodyguard because he’s already 10 feet in love with her despite his denial. It’s the ‘powerful women and pretty boys who would die for them’ trope incarnate, the heartgame is so strong you feel it through the screen. And yes, there are issues with side characters, with consistency, too many jokes about pee and so forth, but if you want any of what’s mentioned above + some feels, this may be for you.

Suspicious Partner Crime - Romance This drama may have benefited from being few episodes shorter and better pacing of romantic and crime story lines, but overall, it’s one that’s likely to draw you in and feel for the characters. It’s not just the main couple that are straight up adorable, especially when they can get beyond that I’m distancing/hiding things for your safety/happiness point, but plenty of interesting side characters with meaningful relationships and stories to tell. Besides, the acting’s wonderful and Ji Wook is one of most likable and considerate male leads (other than hiding things aspect) I’ve ever seen in kdrama (or anywhere). His confession speech is just, #swoon.

While You Were Sleeping Crime - Fantasy - Romance It’s a drama that started strong and then puttered out some, but if you’re in for a story that once again asks questions ‘what would you do if you saw future’ and gives it’s own kind of answers, this may be for you. It’s got interesting characters, cute romance and lovely friendships are made along the way, as they struggle with some truly difficult problems of morality and otherwise.

Things I have started, kept up with via media and have mixed feelings about, but still kind of am fascinated by, so I suggest you give them a try

Black (tagged on my blog as OCN Black so there’s no mistags) Crime - Fantasy - Romance (??) Personal Status - Unfinished, plan to finish It’s a wild mess, but intriguing one. I did not get further than 4 eps yet, but I do plan to try. The acting is pretty good, the story’s very twisted and I have heard mixed reactions to the way its solved, but it strays so far from anything I’ve ever watched I can’t help but be kind of drawn to it. It’s got tons of gory and/or disgusting moments, though, as its humor kind of rides on that, so be warned.

Tomorrow With You Drama - Time Travel - Psychological - Romance Personal Status - Unfinished, but plan to finish This one is a strange one, because it’s slow and with awkward push and pull dynamics, but and at the same time, that’s what makes it so real it hurts. You might want to punch some senses in characters at times, but that’s how we just are, especially if we are as troubled and traumatized as our leads. It’s a story of learning, growing as a person and healing and perhaps, if it was that, I’d be done with it and added it to the bottom list, but the eventual crime aspect felt jarring to me and I got frustrated with that story line and lost part of confidence my questions could be answered and whole drama wrapped up well. It’s just so emotionally and psychologically meaty and good otherwise, I am afraid to head into disappointment. But one day, I will wrap it up and judge for myself. W / W of Two Worlds Drama - Fantasy - Romance Personal Status - Unfinished, plan to finish Perhaps the one drama I ruined watching of to myself because of spoilers and now I can’t bear to watch the rest, unsure if I will be part of love or hate group (another one to divide the followers very deeply). What I can say, though, is that I loved the start of it, it really doesn’t hesitate to surprise you and make you think, especially if you are any sort of content creator. Very likely to make you Feel at some point.

Kdramas I plan to watch, but already love because of meta, clips and other content I’ve seen

Fight For My Way Friendship - Romance - Slice of Life Hwayugi Fantasy - Romance

Just Between Lovers Drama - Psychological - Romance - Slice of Life

I can’t say much about any of these, but at the same time, I feel like there’s lot to be said. Especially about Just Between Lovers, which, so far, appears to be the top tier Drama drama, with traumatized characters, profound storytelling and a way to both wrap you up in warmth and devastate you.

Kdramas that I’ve heard a lot of good about/have been recommended to me/I may be planning to watch

Age of Youth 1 and 2 - Another Miss Oh - Bring it on, Ghost - Cheese in Trap - Chicago Typewriter - Coffee Prince - Descendants of the Sun - Go Back Couple - Healer - My Love From Another Star - Pinocchio - Reply series - Save Me - Signal - The K2

[queen-of-deans-booty]

Hook Man- Part 1

Pairing: Eventual Dean x Reader

Word Count: 1,965

Warnings: Typical Supernatural violence, angst, language, minor character death, blood, you know the usual

Summary: You never thought Bloody Mary would be a real legend. So when you were presented with the idea that the Hook Man could be real, you took no chances. 

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Supernatural. All credit goes to their respective owners. Please, if you want to be tagged for this series, let me know and I’ll add you! If you want to be tagged for my other fics, I’ll add you! I want to hear what you guys think about this.

Read the backstory for this episode!

You go Camping with Dean

Feedback is always appreciated

Tags at the bottom

The search for John was getting colder with each day that passed. You tried to give the boys hope but it wasn’t working too well. Sam was losing faith in this whole thing and Dean was shutting himself from everyone else to hide how he really felt.

But you knew.

You could hunt all you want but there is and always has been one goal: Be a family again. You couldn’t do that if John was missing. Just like the start of every case, either Sam or Dean was looking for one while you tried to aid and assist.

Sam was trying to call people that might know where John is and Dean was searching for a case on Sam’s laptop. You were in a rundown café, not really paying attention to what was going on around you.

“We’ll find John. He’s out there, somewhere and he may not want our help but he’s going to get it.” You said to Dean. The boys have been hoping and wondering where John was but no information was found. It was like John didn’t want to be found. It was all very weird to you.

“I know we’ll find him.” Dean said without looking up. You sipped your coffee and looked around you, hoping no one would recognize you from the police pictures from the last hunt. “Hey, your cheek is looking better.”

“Yeah, that shifter can hit. Wow, I’m more worried about being sent to jail than my cheek.” You joked. The bruise the shifter left was barely there but it took a while for it to go away.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you.” Dean sighed.

“You did.” You smiled at him. He protected you from anything and everything. It was one of the reasons you were in love with him. You watched Sam hang up the payphone and make his way over to you.

“So, anything?” Dean sounded hopeful but it was more likely false hope than anything.

“No, there is nothing in the FBI’s Missing Persons Data Bank or any John Doe fitting his description. I even had them run his plates for traffic violations but nothing turned up.” Sam said with a sigh. The search for this man was wearing you out more than it should. Where could one man be?

“Sam, maybe your father doesn’t want to be found.” You looked at him to see his shoulders sag and you nodded to Dean to let him show Sam what he found.

“Check this out,” Dean said, showing Sam the laptop. “It’s a news item out of Planes Courier. Ankeny, Iowa. It’s only about a hundred miles from here.”

“The mutilated body was found near the victim’s car, parked on 9 Mile Road. Authorities are unable to provide a realistic description of the killer. The sole eyewitness, whose name has been withheld, is quoted as saying the attacker was invisible.” You explained, watching Sam’s reaction.

“This could be something.” Dean pointed it out.

“Or it could be nothing at all. One freaked out witness who didn’t see anything? Doesn’t mean it’s the Invisible Man.” Sam shrugged.

“Sam, what if it is? You know John would have checked it out.” You said to him.

“Fine.” Sam said, grabbing his coffee and walking towards the car. Dean huffed and shut the laptop, frustrated with his brother.

“He’ll come around, Dean.” You said, grabbing your coffee and heading to the car with him. You were on the road in no time, speeding towards the state you’ve never been to.

“So how am I going to explain why I’m at a fraternity house?” You asked, looking at the house in front of you.

“Sweetheart, I’m sure you’ll come up with something.” Dean said as he parked in front of the house. You saw about three men working on cars and you knew just how you would be let in. You have to use what you can use best: your sexuality.

You were thankful you wore shorts and a tight shirt as you got out of the car. You looked at the men who stared you down. You hated feeling like a piece of meat but you needed to get inside and that required a bunch of college boys to think with their dicks and not their heads.

“We’re your fraternity brothers from Ohio. We’re new in town and looking for a place to stay.” Dean smiled at the guys who looked at him strangely.

“Who’s she?” One of them said, eyeballing you.

“What? I came to drop my brothers off.” You pulled down your shirt a little and they smirked. You saw Dean take a glance at you and he rolled his eyes.

“My God…” He muttered, walking past the men as Sam went in front of him. You walked behind Sam and you could tell all eyes were not on you but your ass.

“Hey, eyes to yourself.” Dean snapped at them. You giggled and walked inside, looking around. You followed Dean up to a room with its door open and a man who was painting his body purple.

“Who are you?” The guy said, looking at you in the mirror he was in front of.

“We’re your new roommates.” Dean smiled and walked in with Sam.

“Who is she?” He smirked at you through the mirror.

“My sister so back off.” Dean rolled his eyes.

“Do me a favor? Get my back. Big game today.” The frat boy smiled and held out a paint brush to Dean. He looked at you and smirked again. “Unless you would like to do it.”

“I’ll do it.” Sam said, grabbing the paintbrush and the paint bucket, getting to work.

“So, Murph, is it true?” Dean asked, looking at some magazines. You didn’t know how he knew his name but he did. You walked in further and looked around but went to Dean and stood next to him. Oh, the magazine had a name on it.

“Is what true?” Murph asked.

“We heard one of the guys around here got killed last week.”

“Yeah, he did.” Murph said sadly.

“What happened?” Sam asked him, continuing his work.

“They’re saying some psycho with a knife is around here. Maybe a drifter passing through. Rich was a good guy.” Murph said.

“Was he with someone?” Sam wondered

“Not just somebody, Lori Sorensen.” He said that like you were supposed to know who she was.

“Who’s that?” you asked.

“Lori is a freshman and a hot one at that. Plus, she’s the reverend’s daughter.” Murph smiled.

“You wouldn’t happen to know which church, would you?” You asked, sliding your hand sneakily into Dean’s jacket. Thankfully, he was busy pointing his eyes somewhere else to notice and you slipped his keys out, holding them in your hands.

“Yeah, the one that’s across from the college. They’re having service now and I bet Lori is there.” You smiled and nodded, clasping your hands together.

“Great, why don’t I check that out and you three can get acquainted better.” Dean and Sam both looked at you with wide eyes.

“You don’t have the keys.” Dean reached into his pocket but frowned when he didn’t find them.

“No, I think it would be great if you stayed. I mean, she’s not really supposed to be in here and we could use some extra help getting ready for the game.”

“I’ll pick you up later.” You grinned and held up the keys in front of Dean and if he was a cartoon, you would see smoke coming out of his ears at how pissed he was. Before you could get in trouble, you ran out of the place and to Dean’s car, getting in and starting it.

Dean chased after you but you drove off before he could get to you. You grinned and rolled the windows down. To hell with Dean if he says you couldn’t drive the car. You were a great driver and he would need to get over it.

You loved the feel of the Impala’s purr as you drove. She was really a work of art and you were damned if something bad happened to her. You reached the church in no time. You parked and got out, pocketing the keys. You hoped not to interrupt so you quietly opened the door and slipped inside, making sure not to slam the door.

“The loss of a young person is particularly tragic. A life unlived is the saddest of passings. So, please, let us pray. For peace, for guidance, and for the power to protect our children.” Some people must have heard you come in because a girl looked back as you slipped into one of the pews. You saw as everyone bowed their heads and you did the same, out of respect.

The service ended soon after that and you were still seated, waiting for everyone to pass by you. You gathered bits from here and there but when someone said Lori’s name, you perked up and saw a woman walk up to Lori. They both smiled and started talking, walking outside of the church. You got up, heading outside to see if you could talk to them.

You watched from the doors as the two women talked. The other woman seemed to be convincing Lori of something but when the other woman walked away, you took your chance.

“Are you Lori?” You smiled politely.

“Yeah.” She nodded.

“My name is Y/N and I just transferred to the University.”

“I saw you inside.” She nodded.

“I don’t want to bother you. I just heard about what happened and I wanted to say how sorry I am. I know what you’re going through. I saw someone die as well. It’s not something you just forget.” You said gently. You saw an older gentleman walk up to you and you knew he was the reverend by the way he was dressed.

“Dad, this is Y/N. She’s a new student.” You smiled and shook her dad’s hand.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you sir. I must say, that was an inspiring sermon.” You said with a smile.

“Thank you very much. It’s so nice to find young people who are open to the Lord’s message.” Her dad nodded.

“Listen, I’m new in town and I was wondering if there was a church group?” You needed him away so you could talk to the daughter.

“Yes, there is indeed, let me go get the information and I’ll find you when I do. “He smiled and walked off, leaving you and Lori alone.

“Tell me, what are the police saying?” You looked at her, walking with her. She seemed glad of the subject change for a bit.

“Well, they don’t have a lot to go on. I think they blame me for that.” She sighed.

“What do you mean?”

“It’s because of the story I told them. I was so scared and I guess I was just “seeing things”. But I know what I saw.”

“Just because you think it’s unbelievable, doesn’t mean it wasn’t real. What did you see, by the way?” You smiled nicely.

“Have you ever heard of the Hook Man?” She asked you. She told you all about what it was and what she saw. You just couldn’t wait to tell Dean and Sam.

“Thank you for your time, I appreciate it.” You smiled.

“Maybe you can find me at the university. I know what it’s like to be new and not know anyone.” You nodded and smiled, walking away from her and to Dean’s car. You got in and started her up, driving back to the frat house. You knew Dean would be pissed and he would never let you touch his car again but it was well worth it.

Part Two

Masterlist // Series Rewrite Masterlist // Buy me a Coffee?

Series Rewrite tags:

@helllonearth @amyisabellal @deanwnchstr @caseykitten6 @roxalya19 @quixoticcat

Forever tags:

@deans-shorter-squirrel @maddieburcham1 @ginamsmith @mogaruke @jarpadandjensenaremyheroes @whit85-blog @inlovewithbja

Dean tags:

@akshi8278 @mega-mrs-dean-winchester @winchesterandpie

Other tags:

@jensen-jarpad @notnaturalanahi @deathtonormalcy56 @27bmm