#like why is that the thing freaking me out most about my wedding lmao wtf

[leafywillow]

sometimes you just need to lay on the couch and listen to acoustic songs in the dark

[david-box]

Liveblog (but a day late ish) of Succession season 4 ep. 1

3:38 love how Shiv didn't kiss Kendall also is very clearly lying lol. Rome is so focuking rude it's hilarious. Wtf is their new venture are they trying to make a new media outlet??? And shiv is talking to Tom

They're already on to her lmao. Glad she's semi honest. Ajjajahw. "he's not a real junkie" ahhaha. Kendall is saying "don't bail on me I don't want to put effort into this and not have you reciprocating". Shiv really is into it.

Ohhh my god Logan is visually miserable. Hows it feel old man you motherfucker. He is not dating that woman still Jesus Christ. I mean good for her probably, damn, but what the fuck. What happened to the Italian princess Greg?? He's so clean shaven... Also "friend assistant and advisor" lol. Girl when. Her face is funny as hell also I love these actors. Is it "random fuck". Greg's face lol.

Shiv don't sound bored. Kendall is into it. Tom looking out for Shiv?? You alwars awkward awkward man. Paying with one hand. You're not being fair Shiv rn but I don't blame you also low blow with the st. Paul remark. Best response Tom. She's really freaking out damn. THEYRE STILL HERE AKHAHAHHA. Rome the only chill one here hahahhaa. The investor advisors walked off in separate directions. Aaannnnd Greg's gf snitched lol. They're paranoid. They have every reason to be. Oh those are their investors.

Connor is dressed like a president and the gf is insiding. Connor how broke are you, you're always worried about money. Who was Logan's first wife? Why is the Left going after them? Are they buying Pierce? Also the audacity to call them rats... And the side piece is literally just standing there. Logan doesn't know what Tom looks like when he lies. His awkwardness helps though imagine asking your FIL for marriage AND business advice. Logan looks so annoyed Toms ass sucking but I honestly think it helps and as much as Logan is annoyed that's exactly where he wants him to be. Tom killing Logan 2023 hashtag or whatever. Who hosts a party and waits for food??? They fucking rich people.

Two parties vying for Pierce is going to make the Gojo buyout easier because the Waystair side won't bother squeezing Connor out. Unless they just try harder and he has to pay more to stay lol. Roman the most mature one here. Kendall is being stupid. Who was walking in the background also they're just sitting there huh those Saudis or whoever lolll. They do kinda have a point tho.

Tom doesn't even wait to cut Greg down a 6 inch. And she's fucking recording??? Greg is too excited for their marriage thing. Greg is delusional. I wouldn't switch gears personally but I'd be anxious telling the other guys to keep waiting if they're even still there.

Logan has the world and isn't even happy. Right in front of her "hoop de hoop". Nan's family is a matriarchal version of Logan and Shiv is correct he has no patience but Nan's gonna be busy ain't he. Nan is funny also. I love the way Shiv dresses casually ahahha good lines. Kendall might honestly be better to go but Nan's picky and pickier than what's good. Oh fuck off Kendall its about Dad. And Rome is scared of conflict and I don't blame him also it would be funny if they can do it.

Why is he going you're my pal. You're mybest pal. What the fuck does this mean. This poor man. People are exonomic units??? Bro. Is he really thinking about marriage??? Bro. Gee I wonder why

People turn against you everywhere you go. He's getting old and finally feeling it. Only person he trusts isn't even family and business only.

Ahhahahhahhaha I didn't think Roman would repeattt thatttt ahahha. She looks so hurt :-(. That means he didn't ask. You can pop it back in your mouth now lolll. Who they calling. Oh Logan? Pierce is making calls huh I bet.

Connor is so excited for the wedding and it's gonna be bad if he pushes for more money or if he pushes for less I bet. I love this man. Get a rapper and jetpacks. Dude. Bumfuts. Oh it's about the election cycle. Poor Willa. She's trying. She'll do a lot for him huh.

Greg has the worst timing and Tom low-key thinks it's funny. Greg. No. She's crunchy peanut butter. Dude. The guest bedroo?? Dude. And he's really worried ahahaha. I think he's more amused Greg is scared and is mayyybbee fucking fucking with him. He's making him tell him this is so gross hahahaha.

Is this fucking Marthas vineyard? Italian themed Waystair rocyo? Do they realize Logan can just wait on the sale so they won't be able to buy her out? The sex implications with the headache is great. I think she's going to use it as leverage. Oh butter my beanpole ahahha. Tom saving his ass and isn't even needing to lie, everyone DOES know. He's got some fucked up machinations. Greg is worse off saying something than not. He hasn't eaten. He gave him candy. And he's just holding it. Ahahhaha. Shhshhahha the thumbs up. Lmao. Poor Greg. Poor poor Greg. Think of something better. I would not be honest. He really doesn't think about things critically, like, ever.

Who's the garbder? They're showing more servants today.

Logan smiled? What the fuck?? Tom is so right but he also clearly thinks its both funny and disgusting. Greg don't push it. Greg. Dude. Ahahah. God be willing. Nan thinks smiles and warm energy is important and is complaining about spending money. Interesting. Roy might be better for that than the kids. She's ruthless. Shiv is better for this than anyone else. Oh, but it's not wrapped up. It's fine :-)) come drink with me :-)). Don't curse. Kendall. Dude. She wants to drink? Take the offer to drink... Kendall it is not robust. What happened to Maine? I'm getting a divorce ahahhahaa okay damn. Kendall if you're gonna call her on the numbers don't be shitty. That was clever Roman.

Nobody tells jokes any idea so they. I'm saying Carl, it's a big dry in here. Do you have any jokes? Frank, start, be funny, abhahahahahahahahahahaa roast me dhshshhshshshs skanshshshs absghshshshhsjsjsjsjsjsjsh he can't even do it. That's not funny. Greg is too honest. Ahahhahaa "where are your kids?" AhahhahahhahahhahahahahahhahahahhahahahhahahahahhahahahhahahahahhaahhHahaha. Not a good retort there Logan sorry. So it is the money. Logan's mood is much better when he has something to do. He's going to win. But that's cus I got spoiled.

Roman is correct. 8 is bad. Oh ton don't pussy foot. "This is dusgusting :-)" lol. call your wife. Nan likes the bidding and they can't do 8.5. Tom hiding his face. They do not have 9.5. they go to 10 they lose. 10 is a lot. They don't have 10. And he's being loud. He's outvoted. Ouch. Shiv is so happy. She's gonna cry. Tom said 12 she fucked herself.

Congratulations on saying the biggest number. Romans not sure and they left. That's when the Gojo falls through innit? Lol. Or the lack of a divorce. They still living in the same house? Cute dog. Swear it's different from last year, lol. They don't even look at the accounts anymore. Oh, they still here. Tom still kinda trying to connect, he really does love her. Who wouldn't? Where's the disgusting brothers thing and Shiv is really trying to hurt him and she's hurt from it. And he's right to fire right tf back. Is Mondale even let out at night? Shiv is really, really upset. She doesn't want to move on but now she has an excuse to force herself so this is when the deal gets fucked and now she's divorced for no reason. Shiv doesn't wanna talk because she arguably did worse. No responsibility. Tom won't fight her and a small part of her wishes he did. Tom what the fuck ahahhahaa. Dude. What the fuck. He's genuine . He isn't but he is. I think Shiv would be happy just having him be there. They're so sweet together. My little cats. They do love eachother :-(. If only they could make it work.

Is Logan watching court dv? Or his own news? He's mad the reporters ugly. Wild. They actually won. Oh, new number.

[anya-grace]

Two beautiful people sent me an ask about my rivetra actors au, and boyyyy let me tell you, it was so fun making them again 😍 thank you to the pretty souls who asked this! 💘

The first actors au were from season 1 and 2, this one will focus on the filming of season 3 until the last season :) here you go!

more rivetra actors!au headcanon (some are nsfw-ish)

- Let me get straight to the point: lots of sex. Car sex. On-set sex. Dressing room sex. Name it.

- Both of them are aware that it was unprofessional, but there was a time when they did not see each other for more than a month because of their (especially Levi’s) busy and conflicting schedule, so when Petra surprised him on set, the frustration and longing just piled up and they had sex.

- Then it became a habit.

- And this habit, of course, didn’t go unnoticed by the other casts and even crews of the show. Armin heard them once, and the poor boy made a mental note to never ever come close to Levi’s room again.

- The older casts are fine with it since, you know, normal adult stuff. But for the love of the three Walls, can you lovebirds tone the moaning down? People are trying to get some sleep wtf.

- Levi’s make-up artist had to deal with the pain of covering his hickeys (courtesy of Ms. Petra Ral) every shoot. The ones on his neck, especially those near his adam’s apple were the most visible. And since Captain Levi rarely wore a cravat in season three, part one, it made the work harder for the make-up artist.

- As compensation, Petra always bought a special souvenir for Levi’s make-up artist whenever she flies overseas for her theater shows.

- For the premiere of season 3, Levi took Petra as his date on the red carpet. It was the first event they attended publicly as a couple.

- It was a big milestone for their relationship because they are both public figures. And we all know what happens when celebrities publicize their relationships, it is prone to issues and controversies.

- And you can very well guess that Levi Ackerman showing off his beautiful girlfriend to the press was big news. As big as the AoT premiere even.

- During the air of season three, Levi became more famous and he attracted many overseas fans as well as international actresses because of his brilliant scenes with Kenny.

- Although Petra is not the jealous type, she admitted that somehow it affected her when other international actresses expressed their admiration towards Levi. Some even said that Levi is their type and they are looking forward to working with him in the future.

- When Levi sensed this, he immediately headed to his IG and posted a picture of Petra with a very cheesy caption lmao. Forgive him, he's new to this kind of relationship.

- Did I mention he also posted a picture of them kissing in front of the Eiffel tower?

- Only a few know this, but the real Levi is one clingy boyfriend.

- He is very touchy when it comes to Petra. He just really loves holding her. Sometimes he just randomly hugs her, caresses her, nuzzles her. He just loves having skin-to-skin contact with her.

- His love language is actions and gestures.

- His favorite gesture to do to Petra is a back hug with his arms under her boobs. It was a soft gesture and it wasn't sexual in any way...until it did.

- More than half of their sex started with Levi touching Petra’s underboobs tbh.

- Sometimes Levi thinks that he's neglecting Petra and more than once he considered quitting the show business for her. But then he’ll see her smiling at him, and she tells him that she's very proud of what he’s doing and that she's happy that she gets to support him with doing the things he is really passionate about and just… all he could think of that time is that he wants to marry this amazing woman.

- He is also supportive of Petra’s theater actress career, of course. And he hates the fact that he needs to hide whenever he watches one of her shows since people eventually gather around him asking for an autograph and he feels that it’s rude for Petra. This is her moment and he doesn’t want to ruin it for her.

- Hence, his all-black and mysterious get-up whenever he watches her show.

- AoT season three was a huge success and plans for season four are already on the move. Casts were given a long break before the shooting began again and both Petra and Levi took this as a chance to bond together.

-Petra's favorite thing to do with Levi is playing with animals. She has a soft spot for animals, and she wanted for them to adopt a pet but she knew that the poor animal will only be given less attention because both of them are always busy.

-When Petra's theater world tour ended, she and Levi started living together. They didn't have the chance to do it before since they were both busy.

-Them living together is probably the height of their relationship. They fought, they had sex, they laughed, they played, they bathe together. They did everything together and it was a beautiful experience.

- For their third anniversary, Levi booked a vacation on a private island for a week. It was also their last bonding because Levi is going to start filming again for season four in less than a month.

- They did not communicate with anyone during that one week. It was just them, and they made the most of it.

- Mornings were spent for morning sex and breakfast in bed. Afternoons were for swimming, sleeping, cuddling, hugging, kissing, and every activity they could think of doing. They explored the island, they petted stray animals, they dived into the ocean, they build sandcastles, they ate different dishes, they had sex in caves and while swimming on the beach, they climbed trees, they bought souvenirs, and most importantly, they took many pictures together.

- Evenings were the most romantic of all. They had sex in the darkness of their own room while they hear the ocean waves crashed to the shore outside and as the sea breeze cooled their sweat-slicked skin. They took the time to explore each other’s body like it’s their last (because it will be in a matter of days).

- On their last night, Pet cried while they’re having sex. Levi’s face was buried on the crook of her neck and she was moaning one moment, and then the next she’s sobbing like a poor little baby.

- She said that she’d gotten used to life with Levi always by her side and she didn’t want it to ever change. Levi comforted her. He petted her hair, and he said that it’s going to be okay. He kissed her head, then her hair, her face, and her body. Then they had the most emotional and meaningful sex of their entire life.

- Levi started shooting again for season four. Petra, like the past seasons, visits him as much as she can. It was hard adjusting to this type of life again, but she’s a strong woman. And besides, she’s going to start rehearsing for another theater show again.

- They need to undergo medical check-ups before the casting and she found out then that she is pregnant with Levi’s baby.

- It freaked her out. She and Levi never talked about babies before since they’re busy with their careers, and their relationship has always been just the two of them.

- Levi was out of town for the shoot, and she didn’t want to tell him the good news on the phone so she patiently waited until he got home.

- He was greeted with a fancy dinner, and a “Welcome home, Daddy” by Petra. Levi thought that it was her being cheeky and naughty at first, but when dinner ended and she ran for her life to the sink, that’s when he started getting worried. And when Petra showed him the positive result in her medical check-up, well, let’s just say that on that day, Levi Ackerman received a good reminder of what he did to her on their vacation months ago.

- But seriously, he was seconds away from calling his manager and dropping his AoT contract just so he can take care of Petra and their baby. Petra said that it was fine, and she doesn’t want him to quit.

- Levi apologized to Petra many times because he wasn’t there when she discovered it, but she assured him that it was alright and it wasn’t his fault. God, he’s with the perfect woman.

- Since Levi is a big shot in the industry, he demanded control over his schedules. Honestly, he wanted to be at her side 24/7. He wanted to see her belly swell as months went by. He wanted to be the one to satisfy her midnight pregnancy cravings. He wanted to kiss her face and her belly first thing in the morning.

- He convinced Petra to move temporarily to the Ackerman family house where Levi’s parents are staying. Kenny and Mikasa also lived in the same affluent neighborhood. He had doctors, and helpers, and bodyguards hired for Petra. But she said that she’s too uncomfortable with many people around her.

- Petra and Levi’s mom build a bond of their own. She’d gotten to know more of Levi through his mother’s perspective. The older woman showed her Levi’s teenage room, his past awards, his photos, his audition tapes that weren’t out for the public, and she fell in love with him more.

- They had a super private wedding with their relatives and closest friends. Petra was six months pregnant by that time and season four is planned to air three months from now.

- So, you know about that one holy Rivetra panel where Petra is looking back to Levi? The reason why the scene was not in the actual show was that she is pregnant. That’s why the directors are forced to use old scenes from season one instead.

- Despite all the efforts of being private, paparazzi and the media still caught wind of the secret wedding, and rumors about Petra being pregnant started circulating over the internet. Levi shut down these rumors every time someone attempted to question him in his interviews.

- When the shooting ended, Petra was already eight months into pregnancy. As per tradition, the cast and staff held an after-party, but Petra was surprised when it became a baby shower for her instead.

- The baby was supposedly due in the third week of December, but Petra’s water broke around the first week instead and she started her labor. She ended up having the same birthday as their healthy baby boy.

- The baby was named River Ackerman. He was named after Levi’s role where he won the Best Actor Award when he was seventeen. It was also a tribute to Levi’s role in AoT since his name was sometimes spelled as ‘Rivaille’ on many occasions.

[lizacstuff]

Edser / Sen Cal Kapimi ep 30+ asks

(Asks under the cut)

@jan31 Hi Liza, in the fragman Selin was in a white dress, was it a wedding dress?

Hello! I don’t think so. I think that’s what she was going to wear to the dinner she’d planned for the four of them (from the fragman, Eda, Serkan, Deniz and herself) but BOOM goes the MELO. Thank you Melo, lock that witch away so Serkan and Eda are not haunted by her evil presence, and can maybe spend some time together. 

Though, you know, I wouldn’t mind if it was a wedding dress. We know Serkan ain’t gonna marry her, so if they go so far as to put her in a dress, then we’re on the precipice of her humiliation and departure which can’t come too soon for me. 

jan31 Hi Liza. Please can you explain to me the fireside scene. It was so beautiful, emotional and just what we needed. Were the lights going out representing his sub conscious and the darkness he feels, reaching out for Eda instinctively without realising why. And the lights coming on was the reality that he did not remember anything. Or am I completely going in the wrong direction? Oh and the music gets me every time 😢😢

That scene fired on all cylinders!! I definitely think you’re on to something thinking the lights coming on represented the reality of him still not having any memories back. I think the whole scene was Serkan trying to reconcile this one flash of memory that has been playing in his mind like a movie. He was re-enacting what he saw in his mind, trying to figure out if it was a real memory and if the real memory was about Eda.   

I really liked that it was Serkan who asked if they can talk without arguing. Being the calm, rational one is his role in their relationship, how many times have we heard him say “sakin” so it was comforting to see him taking those reigns for a few moments. Also for him to realize that almost all their exchanges had been heightened and fraught with explosive emotions and wanting to talk to her without that. 

Both Eda and Serkan with their eyes filled, brimming with tears really got to me. Serkan not really understanding as his heart took over and tried to make sense of what his confused mind couldn’t. Eda’s complete heartbreak when he still didn’t remember anything. However, though, she might not know it, he certainly felt something.

He’s already so drawn to her and he can’t compute why that is... why he fell in love with her during the time he can’t remember, but he’s slowly starting to see how it could have happened. This was an important scene for bridging that gap between them. So freaking beautiful, one of the best acted scenes of the entire series, and the scene that made this episode worthwhile. 

Anonymous said: if that scene in front of the fireplace made me so emotional and it was just him trying to remember.. trying to recreate that one moment he was flashbacks of... i cant imagine what the actual scene of him remembering will do to me. both their acting in that scene was something else.

Hande and Kerem were both absolutely fantastic in that scene. Really stellar. Their chemistry never disappoints, but here they were both right in the moment, very raw, very real. I’m impressed with the emotional range they both showed, kudos to both. If nothing else this story is giving them a lot to chew on as actors.

Anonymous said:  memory loss doesn't bother me that much if we can have beautiful scenes like the fireplace one. but the main couple is separated again, dating/fake dating other people and they don't have scenes enough to fall in love again

Well they made huge strides in two episodes. From Serkan not willing to even contemplate remembering her, to him sitting down and asking her to tell him a memory of their relationship and saying he wants to know about her and their love. And them having an absolutely beautiful, emotional, heartbreaking moment together. 

Serkan made other leaps as well. He went from wanting Eda out of the business to admitting she had talent and freaking out that she was planning to take a vacation. He was already coming up with every excuse to keep her in town and working. They argued as they did in early days, he had moments that obviously hit him as familiar (”I hate you Serkan Bolat.” “The feeling is mutual, lady.”) plus lemons and crusts. 

Don’t you worry, he’s already falling in love with her again. 

However, I wouldn’t judge what they’re planning too much by this episode. It felt like a transition episode and was pretty unevenly paced. Perhaps the claims of rewrites on this chapter had some truth to them. Because the last 4 episodes were pretty well written, narratively solid, and well paced, and this one was not. It was boring and everything not directly related to a scene where Eda and Serkan were alone was lackluster. 

Also I feel like some things were changed and perhaps removed to make allowances for Hande’s injury. She had a strained neck and was in a brace for almost the entirety of the filming of this episode. For instance, I’m pretty sure they did fewer takes with her in several scenes. Specifically you can tell in the scene where Serkan picks her up and carries her back.

We go no full wide angle shot from the front of him carrying her to match with the scene in episode 5. I’m sure they wanted that, but I’m guessing they really had to limit the takes of him picking her up so they couldn’t do multiple camera set ups.  The still photographer on set was able to capture it from the front, it’s a shame they couldn’t get the full hero shot for the show, but poor thing was injured and these things happen when you shoot on such tight timelines. 

So some of the lack of Edser could have been scenes that were shortened, cut, and amended due to that injury. And others could have been changes in the script perhaps as they figure out if they’re getting another ep order from Fox. 

Anonymous said: idk what they’re doing with Ceren but I really need them to keep Deniz as a genuinely good friend. He’s perfect and I don’t want them to make him sketch. Not sure if you’ve seen OTH but that’s the only other show I’ve seen with a great male-female friendship. Other parts of the show are messy to me right now but I’ve been loving this.

I guess my opinion would be unpopular with you, but I am not as enamored with Deniz as others seem to be.  Dude was putting a LOT of pressure on Eda to move on and forget Serkan. Serkan has been back approximately 3 days! HE ROSE FROM THE DEAD AND HAS AMNESIA. Can the woman have a chance to catch her breath and assess the situation, before her “good friend” is pressuring her every which way to forget him??  And planning romantic getaways under the guise of friendship? That’s not being a friend, that’s being an opportunist, looking for his chance to slide in there. 

So, yeah, I’m not as impressed as most seem to be with Deniz. He made me uncomfortable with that. I hope it was not a harbinger of things to come. 

As for OTH, I haven't really watched, but its a fav or my bud @echoapothecary so she might be willing to discuss that show.

Anonymous said: Any chance they decide to throw Melo and Ferit together? I don't care about any of the other side romances going on but these two still have their rights in my book in regards to Edser and they seem like genuinely people?

Let’s do it, baby! I’m on board They both are genuinely good people, and I’m with you, I don’t care about any of the side romances at the moment. Piril and Engin put me to sleep this episode. 

Ferit certainly deserves better than psycho Selin, but he also deserves better than petulant Ceren. And while her behavior escalated to WTF levels this ep, she’s always leaned a little this way. I think it was episode 18 (because the girls were in the library before Serkan finds Eda there) that Ceren was furious at Ferit all episode and I honest to goodness had no clue why or what he did. 

Anonymous said: at first sçk was about women supporting women and we have one best friend turning against the other FOR A MAN. I'm so disappointed the writers are destroying characters one by one.

No this show has always been about the love story between Eda and Serkan, but it did have some nice female relationships as well. Can I tell you a secret? While I really like the girls dynamic, and hope they don’t destroy Ceren and Eda’s friendship, I really only care about 2 characters, and that’s Eda and Serkan.

So while I get your concern, and Ceren acted OUT OF HER DAMN MIND this episode, if she needs to be a casualty to keep things moving, so be it.  I mean I reserve the right to roll my eyes over it, but I’m not going to get too worked up about it. From the beginning Eda and Serkan were the only two characters that matter and they still are. 

Anonymous said: I'm kinda concerned that they're actually going to say the next episode takes place on Valentines Day because this would be the biggest timeline error yet. I know we've already been suspending belief here after they touched on New Years so quickly but umm, yeah....

I think you have to just give over to the timeline on this show and not do any math or calculations. We already had July to December take approximately 2 months in straight linear storytelling, LMAO.  

Also, if it is valentine’s day and that’s going to be their excuse to give us some actual romance, then I will take it, no complaints. To me that’s one of the easiest things not to be concerned about, because its never going to make sense. I’ll take the holiday themed episodes over strict adherence to the calendar any day. 

[shipping-receiving]

JB Fav Fics

Ages ago, I reblogged @chickren​‘s post (from 2013!) and I promised to give it a shot but got all tied up with my dissertation and my own fic. Now that my dissertation is done, I HAVE COMPLETED THIS. Bear in mind these answers might be a bit ‘dated’ as well (by a few months) because I’ve not been reading much fic on my end. Turns out when I’m writing my own, I can only hold one version of J/B in my head. 

Anyway this list is LONG AND TOOK ME FOREVER and I also wrote comments because I can’t help myself. So everything is under the cut. I took out the Shuffled Challenge one (very 2013 lol) and I replaced it with a category called... favourite S8 fix-it. Can you believe it? After I made all this noise about not being able to read fix-its?

[J/B Fic Recs: Master Post if anyone needs it before we start things off]

Favourite fic set immediately after ADWD Second to fucking none: Honor Thy Regard by SigilBroken Nights Without Armor by bratanimus

Favourite fic set a long time after ADWD Oh. Salt Wife by Lady_in_Red. Breathtaking simplicity.

Favourite TV canon fic Pretty and Traveling Far by astolat A Man for All Seasons by dreadwulf

Favourite S8 fix-it Yes, I know. I can’t deal with fix-its. And yet. Ice by Gwen77 Ring Them Bells by kirazi Battle is the Great Redeemer by Lady_In_Red

Favourite modern AU Clean hands by you-know-who (... it’s Gwen77) + all the classics:  Fever by Lady_In_Red On the Night’s Watch by Miss_M It’s Like Weather by ssstrychnine Beast and the Beast by SigilBroken And of course our recent fandom favourite: two halves of a soul by angel_deux

Favourite kiss (Don’t specify chapter) Okay this is kind of a random one but I remember re-reading Roommate Wanted by JustAGirl24 a couple months back, and when they finally kissed I wanted to freaking throw my phone across the room. It’s not even described in detail, it was just such a perfectly timed OMFG!!! THEY KISSED! moment.

Favourite smut Anything by Miss_M, good lord. My all-time favourite is Golden and True (modern AU, sequel to Ball and Chain), but for canon!verse it has to be Heart’s Desire and Spring Awakening. And obviously I have to say Flawed by francoeurs – smut exploring J/B’s Issues with a capital I? I’m THERE.

And for multi-chapter fic, Everyone Has Secrets by ellaria is fire. Oh and also, everyone’s favourite professor AU, Stacked by QuizzicalQuinnia.

Favourite UST On the Night’s Watch and Someone to Watch Over Me by Miss_M. I love that these two fics take place over such a short time (a few days) but they manage to feel like slow burns. That’s fucking skill right there.

Best written fic I hate this question. You want me to pick the best-written fic out of the FIVE THOUSAND J/B FICS ON AO3? Lmao I’m skipping.

Favourite fic with an unusual premise Multiverse central: All the Roads are Winding by ShirleyAnn66 In which Brienne can turn into a sea lion: This Is Your Wilderness by hardlyfatal GENDER SWAP: all knights are gallant and all maids are beautiful by janie_tangerine Jaime is a sculptor: Madonna of the Balcony by QuizzicalQuinnia Jaime does needlework: Hold This Threadbare Heart at Needlepoint by nire

Favourite action scene Words by astolat. The entire battle sequence.

Favourite dialogue Clean hands by Gwen77, Chapter 9. So cathartic, and SO MUCH HAPPENING. Not just J/B but Tyrion and Cersei on the phone too. I mean I just tried to re-read it to pick an excerpt (I can’t) and I already started crying lmao

Favourite characterization of Jaime A Man for All Seasons by dreadwulf. THE NUANCE. THE DETAIL.

Favourite characterization of Brienne Any fucking thing by Gwen77. Especially Clean hands, Diplomacy and Ice.

Favourite relationship development Where I follow, you’ll go by Lady_In_Red Beast and the Beast by SigilBroken, OBVIOUSLY It’s Like Weather by ssstrychnine Patience on a Monument by betts, even though they’re already friends, because betts makes me sit through Jaime/Sansa and Brienne/Tormund and yet I still re-read this.

Favourite use of non-typical character. Exclude these: Jaime, Brienne, Podrick, Hyle, Cersei, Sansa, Margaery, Tyrion, Daenerys, Selwyn, Tywin. Hmm this is a tough one. Maybe Loras the photographer in Living Fiction by Archetype_Electraheart

Favourite plot In This Light by SigilBroken for canon!verse endgame On the Night’s Watch by Miss_M and Everyone Has Secrets by ellaria for modern AU. I love J/B investigating stuff together.

Favourite title Nobody Knows / You Know and I Know by Miss_M “There’s a story,” Brienne says, “about a corrupt official who went to a sage and offered him to take part in a scheme, promising no one would ever know. ‘How can you say that?’ the sage replied. ‘I know, and you know, and the earth knows, and the sky knows.’”

Favourite WiP (finished or unfinished) With All Your Faults by seaspirit (close to the end!!!) The Descent by openmouthwideeye And this is finished but Tale As Old As Time by BrienneofThrace. She came back after like four years to finish it?! That alone is fandom magic.

Favourite long one-shot Pretty by astolat (wtf this is 30k?)

Favourite short one-shot OH MY GOD THE GLASSES FIC. Age Gap by ikkiM

Favourite drabble Mmmmm I don’t really read drabbles so I’ll skip this too.

Favourite beginning What is True, But Not Ideal by Vera: Jaime doesn’t appear for like four chapters and yet I was still on board.

Favourite ending IT’S FUCKING Clean hands by Gwen77 OKAY DON’T @ ME. Traveling Far by astolat – because she just Went There and gave J/B five kids The Sorrows That Women Cause by Mussimm (seventh and final part of Works and Days, in which they just... bang)

Favourite story twist more like the man you were meant to be by janie_tangerine. I mean, this isn’t really an internal twist, more like a twist on canon The Importance of Knocking by Miss_M, since it’s a story twist for Cersei lol.

Funniest story St George's Day by sansasparky The Best Legs You've Ever Seen by ikkiM

Favourite angst In the first version of this list I said I wouldn’t pick Gwen77 again for this one, and then I re-read Ice and cried my eyes out for like, the whole thing. Special mention for catherineflowers’ series We Need to Talk About…, because of how much she just commits entirely to some really dark stuff. It’s something I wouldn’t necessarily re-read, but just the audacity it took for her to write this is really impressive.

Favourite fluff The Higher Education of Brienne of Tarth and Drunken Shenanigans with Jaime and Brienne by BrienneofThrace. Anything by BrienneofThrace to be honest. She does the purest J/B. Also, Nothing That Is So, Is So by RoseHeart, and i get to be the other half of you + The 'Kiss Me' Series by sameboots.

Favourite Jaime line Yooooooo that part in Laying Siege by astolat when Jaime just launches into his wedding proposal: “I swear to you before these witnesses that I will protect Sansa Stark with my life, beside you. I will never take the field against her. I will take your name and your crest and your house as my own—”... I can feel myself being Brienne going WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK

Favourite Brienne line Yeah yeah here I go picking Gwen77 again. The very last lines of all her fics always slay me, but this is the only line I can quote verbatim, from Diplomacy: “Trapped, he had said, worry in his voice. Ruined. She had never felt so free.”

Favourite general line or excerpt I love the way Gwen77 commits to the motif of walls in Ice. I freaked out about it here. And then after all that talk about Brienne building up her walls she just HITS US WITH THIS FINAL LINE:

“Jaime was hers, encircling, warm, solid as a wall. He would catch her if she fell.”

Favourite non-romantic fic The tale of Squire!Brienne series by LadyRhiyana

Favourite maiming adaptation in a modern AU Fever by Lady_In_Red, because I love how the whole story is built on Jaime learning how to ride again with a mangled hand

Favourite kidfic Not really a full-on kidfic, but You Know and I Know (sequel to Nobody Knows) for that Jaime & Tommen relationship, plus that conversation J/B have about having kids in future. Oh, and so brief, but Traveling Far by astolat.

Craziest scene that was in character and made sense (Don’t specify chapter) Let’s just go for the entirety of Stannis Baratheon, Fantasy Football League Commissioner by ikkiM AND THAT FUCKING J/B/C FIC THAT I READ BECAUSE I DIDN’T LOOK AT THE TAGS OKAY: Pride by astolat

Most underrated fic My Fall by TeamGwenee. Witches in 1600s colonial America AND in first person POV? IT WORKS THO. Such an interesting and original premise, and written in a very refreshing succinct style, and yet this multi-chapter fic has less than 200 kudos. Another one with less than 200 kudos: and you’ve whispered what I’m worth by angel_deux, a really lovely Mad Max: Fury Road AU.

Most desperate to see updated NO PRESSURE!!! for our world is cold and full of monsters by chancellor_valdez room service by ssstrychnine A Star Within the Mere by isavedlatin (sigh)

Favourite J/B as a secondary couple Some Kind of Family by crossingwinter

Most haunting Fool by astolat. I don’t know why. It’s a very beautiful story and it’s not even a bad ending for J/B necessarily, but the fact that it ends the way it does just really fucks me up. It’s the only fic in my bookmarks that I don’t think I can ever bear to re-read.

Favourite (friendship or hate) relationship between Jaime and another character One Of The Few Things by anniebibananie (Sansa) – I’m picking this just for the sheer I-can’t-believe-you-made-this-work-and-I-applaud-you factor

Favourite (friendship or hate) relationship between Brienne and another character What Is True, But Not Ideal by Vera (Tyrion)

[yaz-the-spaz]

Hello! Just a quick question about bearding, why do we hate the beards so much? (;Gigi, Perrie, Taylor) (the famous ones that is) if we think that our boys don’t have a choice, then the girls don’t either, right?

why do people hate the “beards”? i get they hate that our boys are closeted, but i don’t get why they hate Eleanor or Gigi or Sophia (at the time). if there’s someone to hate is mngmt and s*mon. the girls are just doing a job and it’s not like they’re having the time of their lives. like, they’re “with” someone who love someone else. they can’t have a public relationship either. i think it’s awful for both of them:( i hope it ends soon.

lumping these together cause i’m assuming they’re from the same person since they appear to be asking basically the same thing in slightly different words, also sorry for taking so long to answer nonnie but honestly the thought of answering these just left me so exhausted, like this was literally me when i saw these asks

just because this is something that’s been discussed and re-discussed and re-re-discussed so much in this fandom and there’s so much information on it easily available at this point i almost feel like i shouldn’t have to explain it at all but nevertheless i will weather the storm and attempt to help you understand so here we go…

first off, while i agree with you that a lot of the blame that falls on the beards as individuals is undue—since at least for those that already had established careers in the entertainment industry there was likely at least some degree of coercion and contractual obligation from their respective teams as well just like for the boys and they’re likely not personally responsible for most of the stunts and bs narratives as much as it is their teams pulling the strings in their favor (though often heavily in the girls’ favors at the expense of the boys but that’s a whole separate point)—that doesn’t excuse the fact that they willingly agreed to partake in bearding and closeting. and before anyone chimes in with ‘well they night not have known they were helping to closet/beard someone’ let me stop you right there cause puh-lease. it’s 2018. the number of rumors piled up at this point about zayn/liam/louis/harry’s sexualities that the general public alone knows about is ridiculous all its own, and probably astronomical when you consider what those in the actual industry probably know/have heard by now. it’s not a secret. people in the industry know and they’ve all been soft outed publicly by others in the industry at least once (if not multiple times) at this point. so while the idea that these girls are coming into things blind and naive as a baby deer and have no idea what they’re getting into may have flown in 2011 it’s about as sturdy as sand now and has been since about 2012 (when the first gay rumors about louis, harry, and zayn started to fly).

i’m not gonna get much into perrie because i feel like she’s a separate case since she came from virtually the same machine as the boys but the other famous beards i don’t feel like deserve the same pass as the chances are higher that they still had at least some degree of choice in who they decided to date for pr. i could be very wrong but from what i’ve read and learned from those in the fandom that work in the industry that have talked about this, higher-profile celebs (like taylor and gigi) often get their pick of potential pr boyfriends from a list of candidates curated by their teams and/or have some sort of sway or say into who they’d prefer. and still they specifically (and repeatedly) chose queer men (or at least men widely believed to be queer, leading them both to now come to be seen by many as serial bearders).

those that came into it without established careers of course are a different ballgame because not only did they willingly agree to help closet and beard but they did so at the expense of the boys’, essentially using them as a stepping stone to climb the ladder of fame and success. eleanor might have gotten a pass back in 2011 when she popped onto the scene wide-eyed and bushy-tailed with probably no real idea of what she was getting into and no projects on the horizon to promote, but you can’t argue that she didn’t know exactly what she was getting into when she out of the blue re-upped her contract and came back on the scene in 2016 with a budding modeling career (with connections to gigi no less) and a renewed social media presence and her and louis suddenly started going everywhere looking like walking billboards, promoing every single high fashion company in existence. and pretty much all the “normal” non-famous 1d beards have followed this same/similar trajectory too. it goes: start off getting marketed as just a student and a “regular” girl who’s oh so private and not looking for fame or to be in the spotlight, then flash forward a couple years or a couple months post-break-up and suddenly they’re all models on the come-up with a 1d-launched following on social media, promoting their next shoot or fashion line or what-have-you. 

if you see nothing wrong with any of that i can’t help you…

9 times out of 10 they’ve also turned out to be extremely gross people and this is actually the main reason most people hate them. not just because of the bearding but mainly because of the awful shit they’ve done all by themselves. the bearding is gross on its own sure but i think a fair amount of people these days recognize that—for some of them at least—not all of the blame for the bearding can be put on them individually and we’re not out to just blindly hate them for bearding alone like many fans were wont to do in the days of yesteryear because i think most of us understand by now that they’re people who can be just as manipulated into bullshit by those running things in the industry as the boys have. but whether they were coerced into bearding or not that doesn’t excuse many of their own disgusting behavior on a number of occasions. you can check some of the posts in my gigi, cheryl, danielle, and eleanor tags and the google webs for more concrete and exhaustive deets on the shit some of them have done but for the moment i’m just gonna list the biggest ones/and or the ones i can recall most easily off the top of my head

-gigi - involved in a bunch of racist shit (including borderline blackface, tasteless immigrant campaigns insinuating immigrants are literal aliens, and appropriating black hairstyles like afros and dreadlocks) which admittedly some of the blame for can be put on her team more so than her but still she’s not a puppet, she has a voice and some say in what she agrees to do and she fully could have turned the projects down if she saw anything wrong in it or at least apologized after the fact for participating in it and tried to make an effort not to participate in stuff like that again or to acknowledge why it was wrong (a la katy perry) and yet she continued to be involved in the same kind of shit over and over, but that also doesn’t excuse the shit she did all on her own when she made fun of asians for their features and never apologized for it and then when she got forced out of the Victoria Secret show in China b/c of all the backlash from Chinese people on sm she basically whined about it to her fans (in dm’s no less lmao wtf) and still didn’t actually apologize or admit she did anything wrong

-perrie* - called zayn a freak on-camera in an interview and basically insinuated that introverts and/or people who prefer to deal with their emotions in solitude or like to take time to be alone are weirdos

cheryl - showed her ass to be a transphobe and also a racist to the point of literal physical violence inflicted on a black woman, and also was accused of domestic violence, managed to avoid jail time for it all and basically bury it in the press, and is just an all-around gross person

danielle  - cheated on liam multiple times with multiple guys, treated liam like shit, weaseled her way back into a contract for payzer 2.0 by threatening to out ziam unless mgmt brought her back on, came back out of nowhere this past year and essentially tried to use liam for publicity again (once more by nearly soft-outing ziam)

eleanor - went all the way to india to stage a fake indian wedding with her (all-white) friends complete with traditional indian dress and jewelry and insinuating something about indians being like dogs or something like that idk i can’t remember the particulars rn but i just remember it was gross and racist and that’s really all you need to know (although i also wouldn’t be surprised if she’s pulled some other racist shit i don’t even know about)

eta: i completely forgot about camille or that she even existed lol but she’s an absolute trash human being and here’s a whole thread on why (big thanks and shout out to @achristmasmuke for the link)

as far as i can tell sophia and danielle c. (louis’ danielle, not liam’s) seem to have been the least problematic of all the beards…that we know of anyway (though that’s honestly probably mostly b/c they were perhaps the most low-key and dry of all the beards which imo is a good thing though i wouldn’t completely rule out some shit from them coming to light at some point too…maybe it has and i just don’t know about it idk but i digress)

anyway if after all that if you still don’t see anything wrong i really can’t help you, but hopefully this at least helped you understand at least somewhat better why so many people can’t stand most of them, outside of just the bearding stuff.

tl;dr - while i agree that the beards don’t necessarily deserve all the personal blame and hate they get for the bearding and the stunts, that doesn’t excuse all the other gross (racist/transphobic/violent/or just generally insulting) things they’ve done all by themselves which is actually more so what people these days hate them for besides the bearding

(*as for perrie, i purposefully left out the point about her calling zayn indian that a lot of ppl in this fandom like to use for fodder against her b/c that was print perrie and i don’t believe a word of what was said in that article actually came out of her own mouth b/c the whole thing was “her” gushing about the wedding and every single time she was asked about it irl she was about as uninterested and unenthusiastic in talking about the wedding/engagement [or giving any details at all] as zayn was imo)

[ramblingshit]

Jane Eyre - 1934 - 4/5

Vodka-less and tired and very cold, we begin our journey to the very first talkie version of Jane Eyre.

ow my bra hurts. I wish I had vodka. this is so sad. wait i have a rokerdelig brb. depression strikes syet again - i drank it earlier. alright lets get started in the 30s whoop. wow audio quality 10/10 lolol. opening with john reed hunting her down and she's blonde oh no she's been found.  holy fuck he's throwing shit at her - SLAP BITCH GET HIM. nooooooooNOOOO why is it errored. okay fixed. aunt mary? oh damn she collapsed cause he pitched that cup at her what an ass - bessie is reading to her naw. she's cut out of a lot of them and never shown so kind at the time she's actually. oh shit. ahaha 'they're bad and i hate them.' 'since you hate us so much i bet you'll be happy to know i'm sending you to an orphanage.' 'yes i am happy' looool. 'go away! GO AWAY! goodbye!" hell yeah lil Jane you stand up to that bish. not quite the snappy shebang she says in the others but very satisfying nonetheless - a lot braver and more obstinate love it. oh no her curls snip snip. ohh her hair is cute af. and very 30s ahaha what a coincidence. wow she talks back like hey ahah. she's looking down at lowood preacher dude down her nose ahah. didn't say hell? ahahaha omg this is great so far. she's the best lil Jane I think I've seen. ohh interesting way to show passing of time - the flipping book pages and the showing of the top of the next chapter - skipping quite a few ahead. skipped helen? straight to her ahah oh shit -- teaching. she's standing up to brocklehurst like no ones business. 'you're dismissed! get out!' 'I'll get out - gladly!' ohmygod she's great she's so great none of that simpering and passivity she's taking the world by the balls.  'you cruel dingy childbeater!' 'you ought to be tarred and feathered you ugly old crocodile!' lmao im in love with her. she walks off laughing and happy about being dismissed. miss temple loves her and gonna miss her so sweet, brocklehurst was like holy damn wtf. ahaha her drivers a drunk, fukn flying across the road she's like bye m8. she's proud and above him and annoyed she has to walk rather than die in a carriage crash. oh damn now she meets no? yeah she's not even made it --oh fuck that horse FLIPPED. she helps unprompted and isn't hesitant in talking back and speaking up oh my god she just stalked off after helping him up ahaha. ahaha oh shit the drunk driver works at thornfield and when they asked why she walked instead of taking the carriage she covered his ass and said she just wanted to walk through the meadows and he's like oh thank fuck thank you jesus she just rolls her eyes with a smile. she speaks 3 languages and draws and plays - very accomplished. he's adele's uncle? Samuel Poole ey what a g m8. and he warns her out of the blue to keep her door locked at night. that 30s makeup is crazy awesome. round face, rosy cheeks, long brows and dark eye makeup and lips. short hair. Adele gives her the tour. she's proud and self-assured. poh damn they're only allowed on one side of the house - sam is married to grace poole. just dunno why she's blonde? probs cause she's supposed to be like angelic? anyway she's gorgeous and the angles are nice and the lighting is good--andw what era are these dresses jfc there's no way she could afford that dress fuck. and who curled her hair and that's a low bow whats happening it looks like a southern gone with teh wind situation. he's smaller than she is. he's bathed in darkness - the light is dimmer on him than her. she's even got a necklace. they're not sitting by the fire. he was too busy looking at her to notice her giving his tea. awkward sips ahaha. it's got like a diamond on the necklace. he looks like he's squatting on that tiny chair. oh shit she's gonna sing instead of play. yikes i hope she can--she's literally taller than him. oh she's gonna play and sing. she looks like blanche is supposed to look? and of course she can sing - all framed by candlelight and hanging crystals. the audio is crackling ahah wow incredible they can do it at all - one of the first talkies damn. 'lovely' wow she a mary sue? please don't be a mary sue.sings and yeets outta there not even finished her tea. far out that dress is not doing it for me. what world would a governess be dressed like that? she wears nothing but white. and journalling is never a good idea. but my god she's gorgeous---lots of SCREAMINGGG. and they're telling Jane that its just a servant and its clearly not grace poole doing the screaming? Fairfax knows? Jane can't blame Grace? Jane's like not freaked about it - i suppose she's journalling about it. Adeles a 'mischief' lol nice. she's ran from her lesson and climbed a tree and now she's stuck up there and Jane like doesn't hesitate just scales that tree after her 'uncle edward help! my foot's caught!' 'her foot's caught' 'her foot's caught, so i gathered.' he seems so gentle and kind and pleasant. gets adele out of the tree - 'and where would you like this package delivered, miss eyre?' ahaha cute ooh they know when rochester is leaving to london. he's handsome i'll give him that, it's better --wait when was blanche introduced. asking him when he's getting married and he says next month and adele asks if he's gonna marry blanche and he avoids the question and she starts on but is interrupted by a frantically gesticulating Jane shaking her head, and she cuts herself off and skips away all innocvently lol til she slips moron kid hit her knee ahahaha what a dumbass. Jane's helping clean the chandelier? and Adele is helping as well, that's cool. wtf this kids a moron getting herself headdown stuck in a vase and JAne smashes that shit and snaps at Rochester's amused quip at breaking his shit and blanche laughs and Jane turns on her lol what a savage and storms off. dancing around her room to the sound of the music downstairs that's nice and cute I'd do the same thing ahaha. she's all petulant cause brought blanche who hasn't been introduced properly? is she gonna put her fancy dress on? no? i hope not. damn they're in a ball room? nice. blanche has dark hair and looks much older than any other, not a bad thing just different. they call her beautiful and pretty - not even trying to pretend she's plain and simple. he's suddenly all over her staring intensely and accompanying her into the room and now they're dancing no way? no? no. governesses and landowners don't dance? she's down here without adele. he's sad she didn't dress up - she didn't want to appear as anything than what she is : a governess! at least she's proud of it. he's amused. and charmed. she thinks he's mocking her. now they're being introduced - an interesting way of doing things but rather natural compared to immediately knowing each other. Adele's sitting here with some old guy talking shit about people wow that's mean. fkn kids and this lord ingram is encouraging the hell out of her ahaha. but when she taunts him suddenly its not so funny ahaha. blanche is nice but sarcastic? it's a wedding party ooooh? adele m8 letting things slip? it's 2am and she's dreaming of him - and damn she's going straight for the curtains with that candle and its not lighting? then we see an altogether put together lady return with teh candle to the room upstairs before crazy cackling. god Jane is pretty. oh shit the house is on fire. nah just his room. there's no dramatic music - yes! she's the one to tear down the curtains and open the window - she's legit the most assertive main character i've seen - he's woken up and the fire is like already out. she's got this sorted all he has to do is give her a blanket 'why didn't you call for help?' 'I didn't think it necessary...' noice. here have some alcohol - from the same cup: might as well kiss. she burnt her hands and HE KISSED THEM. she's like bye. she is outies not taking any of his affections like she got better things to do, like sleep. he's in her room? he brought her a book. they're standing very close. he wants her to help redecorate the west wing - he's quite sure he's getting married in a month and that she'll have things to suit the lady's taste. eyeyeyeyyy. its a pupppppppppppyyyyy. oh it's adele's room. ohmygod so fuckin cute rochester is putting adele to bed and she's saying that she wants an aunt that she can choose and she wants it to be miss eyre and he says she wont have them and she says he has to ask her and she'll make sure she says yes. 'that'd be very nice'. cute af ma8. 'don't forget to ask her!' he grins happily. she chooses a cutain (?) and rochester jumps in 'we prefer this one!', and ol mate says 'i congratulate the lady on her discerning taste - the room will look delightful!' what a thing to say. she looks fkn miserable lolol she thinks she's choosing shit out for blanche - they're choosing out jewels now. she's fkn despondent. she flees the jewellers, he follows her and she cries and tells him she's off on holiday. he's not happy like did you think that would go well?? she's not even saying goodbye to him ahaha bye adele and fairfax nevermind here he is marching up the stairs weren't you gon' say goodbye????? tajes her bags and back upstairs to show her the room she designed? she loves it and he's happy and taking the coat off - 'it's incomplete' 'incomplete? everything seems to be in its proper place - what's missing?' 'you.' ohmygodddddddd. 'can't you see i've been falling in love with you all of this time?' rochester yaaaassss. she's not about to argue lol. whoops - 'you must never decieve me again' she chides lovingly and he laughs and shakes his head. like duuuuude i haven't forgotten this is Jane Eyre. okay he's very handsome and she's gorgeous what a lovely couple. now she's dressed in enormous dresses and jewels much more fitting now I suppose, though she did just say she didn't want to be lavished and pampered. oh what the fuck lol what 'edward my husband!' ahaha oh shit bertha just popped nicely out of nowhereeeee -'you can't separate me from my husband again! no one shall!' oh shit. oh shit. wow that was so brushed over - 1930s sensibilities??? Jane's like uhhhh what was that explain yourself he's like I love you you make me so happy i didn't want to tell you I was married to a psycho that I keep in the attic and take care of. she almost forgave him then he rushed off to help with his violent wife - what she gon do?? she waiting forever surely not she's better than that. yas ohmygod is she gone? SHES GONE AHAHAHA YAS DAMN GO GIRL. she wrote a goodbye note to Adele but not him ahaha savage I love her. ohh a star wars cut noice. he's just gon sit in his library? took mrs fairfax to be like yo dude she couldn't have gone very far ahah she's hiding from him in the shadows all misery and rain. searching for her in the dark- thornfield's on fire! oh yikes it's seriously on fire.  get out of there ya;ll. it's so odd not to have any action music oh damn he's going into the house to get bertha he's in his tophat ahaha fire effects! fire effects! fire effects! whoo. she's found herself in a soup kitchen very nice Jane you're an angel. she's going to india huh oh damn we speeding through this bit - 30 seconds after we meet Rivers he's proposing ahaha. she looks insulted, thanks him and storms out. she's pouring soup an hour before her wedding to Rivers and Sam's just popped up looking fucked uppp. i think he's just drunk tbh. bertha burned to death. Jane's frantic and upset m8 and yeah Sam's drunk af. so JAne went to him - he's blind and angry and an't see her and she's crying and he's shocked my god he's in the light and he's in the dark and he's reaching toward the light and touching her face - lol she raced back to thornfield in a day. lol you want some tea Eyre, it's nice for you to call. he's convinced ---ohhhhh--- "strange, you pity me when I'm blind and yet when I was worse than blind you had no mercy.' he's sending her awayyyyy noo he literally just told her they never belonged to each other and they never did like damn son that is fuckin colldddddd. she's so emotional and he's like yep I guess. She was awesome, he was handsome and had his fine moments. It was cute af m8 noice.

[emperor-lover]

Hello could you please write a minhyun fanfic about him and Y/N being on we got married (and later on starts dating irl?) thank you (ps, i love your minhyun scenarios so much)

omg WGM :o hahaha ngl i was never a big fan of WGM even though two members of one of my favourite groups have been on it, but i tried my best! i’ll write anything fluffy for minhyun lmao Sorry about the wait!

A continuation of this will be up next which is from another anon’s request!! 

Hwang Minhyun WGM!AU 

ok so lets give you a bit of background to set the scene 

you’re an idol, but originally you were going to be an actress except you really liked dancing and singing so your company was like ‘why not both?’ (think female version of Ong)

You became a fixed MC on a music show last year so you’ve been able to meet a lot of people

Popularity-wise, you’re pretty well liked, you’ve never had any scandals or issues

Plus because you’re bi/multilingual so you’ve been able to further expand Hallyu internationally, and yknow everyone loves a bit of patriotism 

So this is why you were extremely uncertain about being on WGM

It’s a show that puts you in the spotlight

and kinda tries to brand you with this false image, and if you don’t fit that image the public tend to be like wtf is wrong with you

WGM could be a make or break for the virtual couples who participated on the show

You had heard from other celebrities who had been on WGM about how strange it was, like just the whole concept of a “virtual” relationship wasn’t something you’d ever been too keen on

So you were skeptical and it didnt help that your company hadn’t given you much warning about being on it

They just said to be prepared for the invitation over the next week or so

So when the red mailbox appeared outside your dorm along with a bunch of MBC camera staff you realised they hadn’t been kidding

You had read the letter outloud for the cameras;

“To my soon-to-be virtual wife, our first meeting place will be at the xxxxxx Building tomorrow. Before we meet, I’ll give you a big clue as to who I am, I wonder if you’ll be able to guess! I’m in an idol group, and I’ve debuted twice…I look forward to meeting you~

You read the letter again, absorbing all the information….

“EH? Tomorrow??” 

no wonder your manager had been awfully quiet when you had asked her about your schedule

Oh well, guess you gotta prepare for this virtual blind date

Tbh…now that you had accepted the fact that you had to go on this show, you were kinda excited

It’s literally so rare for you to ever get the chance to go on a proper date, even if this counted as a fake/virtual one

——next day—–

You hadn’t slept well the night before, in both fear and anticipation

Hopefully the person you were going to ‘marry’ would be nice

Because your partner was fully in charge of organising this first date, you had decided to prepare a gift for him

Which you found to be super difficult, seeing as you weren’t sure who they were but tbh you had narrowed it down to a couple of possibilities

Like in the pre-meet interview that morning they had asked you if you had any idea who the person could be and you had listed a few names of idols you knew had debuted twice, like mino, or sungwoon or minhyunnnn

but seeing as you knew he’s an idol you decided on little things you knew you found helpful being an idol yourself

You packed a neck pillow, a heat pack, and this really big woollen scarf you had knitted yourself (imagine it’s winter time pls)

Your manager drops you off outside the building and you hop out of the car in this big fluffy sweater and black jeans, completed bundled up and warm

The staff ushered you over to the elevator and you’re left awkwardly and nervously rambling to yourself as they press the buttons to every 2nd floor

The doors open to the second floor and a hotel staff pops their head in and gives you a bouquet of flowers with a note

“You’re here! Today’s the day we finally meet~”

You smiled to yourself, seems like this guy is a bit of a hopeless romantic

The doors to the fourth floor open and sitting on the ground is a little fox plushie doll

You pick it up and attached is another note that says,

“I’ve heard that I resemble a desert fox~”

You froze, no freaking way could it be….

On the sixth floor it was a jar of honey - “My voice is sweet like honey wahhh this is embarrassing >

Your eyes widened. There was no denying who it was now.

WGM had never done something like this before, usually people who went on the show had never previously met or had many interactions, but in your case it would be different

You had met Minhyun before, multiple times in fact

You had been good friends with Aron from NU’EST as well as other English speaking idols and had naturally gotten to know the other boys from NU’EST as well

And although you wouldn’t consider yourself best friends with Minhyun or anything, you had always been able to joke round with him

plus he’s a super cute and super nice guy that was always easy to talk to

Now that you think about it, it’s kinda even more terrifying now that you know who’s waiting for you and the fact you already know him as well??? and he doesnt have a clue who you are???? what if he’s disappointed??? like how awkward would that be, you’d actually die from embarrassment

Finally the doors to the 10th floor open and lo and behold Minhyun is standing there, with his back facing you

When he heard the door open he had immediately tensed up

He was nervous as hell too, poor thing

Like kinda kicking himself for being so cheesy with the whole elevator thing, but y’know, gotta make a strong first impression

He can hear your footsteps approach him and he fights the urge to turn round 

The staff signal to you to say something and you become a big stuttering mess, like what are you meant to say???

“uHHhhHH Minhyun, IT’S ME, Y/N”

And he whizzes round so fking fast with his eyes popping out of his head literally everyone is laughing so hard

And he’s bright red because in the pre-interview they had asked him who he’d choose if any idol was able to go on wgm as his partner, and he had said Y/N, and he just assumed that you wouldn’t be on this show and didnt have his hopes up

so the fact you’re actually standing in front of him about to become his virtual wife is so strange but surreal to both of you

so of course, the two of you hit it off right away, seeing as you already know each other

After migrating to a cafe, you thanked him for the gifts and the elevator surprises and gave him the present you prepared

and he loves it so much, and he puts on the scarf you made straight away and is super proud of it

and you kinda just catch up on life with him, and find out how he’s doing in Wanna One

and that night after the filming was over, he sent you a text telling you how he was happy that you were his partner

and you spent the whole night just messaging cute little shy texts back and forth

After a few more days of filming, the first episode was finally broadcasted

And you were anxiously sitting by the tv with your group members trying to gage their reactions

it was embarrassing to see yourself become such a blushing mess in front of Minhyun

It was embarrassing for your friends too though, because no one is used to seeing you all shy like this

Funnily enough, Minhyun was the same in his dorm, and all the W1 boys were teasing him relentlessly

like collectively cringing at the notes he had left for you, and commenting on everything he did

And after the episode finishes, you’re a bit anxious of what the viewers think of it all

but luckily it turns out lots of people tuned in and love it

It seems to be a realistic fantasy(?) of people’s to go from friends to lovers

so with each following episode, the public laps up all the cuteness the two of you just naturally exude

Like they love how both of you were supposedly motae solo (single since birth), and that for both of you this would be the first ‘proper’ relationship

And minhyun has always had Boyfriend goals vibe attached to him

and you were top notch wife material too

You guys become known as the “Royal” couple

every one is like “충성충성” (choongseongchoongseong) I pledge my loyalty to you

So the first time you guys had proper skinship was super natural but cheesy as well

It was a filming by the Han River and you hadn’t worn gloves and it was getting pretty chilly

You had been rubbing your hands together to warm them up and it hadn’t been particularly obvious but Minhyun just reaches over and gently clasps your hand in his and puts it in his pocket

literally at that part though, everyone watching it had squealed

even you had been like omg bf goals

And bit later on when you had moved into the honeymoon house, the two of you would often rest your heads on the other’s shoulder and read books together

One of the most heart pounding days had been the wedding day, because although you knew it wasn’t a legit thing, something about Minhyun wearing a tuxedo and standing there waiting for you to walk towards him had made you feel things

And clearly you had the same effect on him, because he was absolutely speechless when he saw you

That night before heading back to the dorm, it seemed that the something had changed between the two of you

The hug Minhyun had given you had been longer, and gentler, if that was even possible

and he’d brushed the hair away from your face and whispered a string of sweet nothings into your ear before giving you a cute little wave and scampering over to get into his manager’s van

and you weren’t too sure what to think of it, because it’s not like the two of you are properly dating or anything

although it definitely feels like it

You go on lots more dates every week and each one was full of memories

Like you’d gone to movies, but you’d actually fallen asleep and Minhyun had just giggled

“Minhyun, you should’ve woken me up!”

“But you looked cute! i think you drooled tho” 

And you’d gone tandem biking, and wandered round different museums, and you went to karaoke together, and Minhyun ended up serenading you with cute af songs

and there was a day that the two of you went shopping to look for gifts for each other, and you ended up getting matching phone charms

There was also the time where there was a special guest episode, where both of you had invited friends round and cooked dinner for them

And everything goes smoothly for the following couple of months, with your relationship only getting closer each day

Until one day a letter arrives, and it’s different from the others so both of you immediately know what it is 

A week before the final episode, you started to distance yourself from Minhyun

mainly because both of you have been so shy about your true feelings, despite talking lots and becoming closer, you still have no clue if minhyun actually considers you to be more than a friend

and because you knew it was coming to an end, you’d have to say goodbye anyways so you were trying to let go without having to have your feelings hurt more than they would be

it didn’t feel right though, and Minhyun could tell something was wrong 

so he had come up to you and put a hand on your arm just before the crew started filming the final episode to talk to you

“Y/N…are we…okay?”

You glanced up at him and you could see his eyes trying to decipher the expression on your face and as much as it pained for you to say it, you decided it would be the best to break ties now

“Yeah, why wouldn’t we be, we’re friends aren’t we?”

And after you had said that, Minhyun’s face had fallen

Like he was upset that you appeared so nonchalant that the ‘marriage’ would be over and you’d revert back to being just friends

He dropped his hand that was on your arm and nodded, his face hardening and he turned to walk away

A few steps though, and he stopped turning back, eyes meeting yours

“I know this was a virtual marriage, but I was always sincere every moment I spent with you. I just thought I’d tell you that before we started filiming.”

And he walked off towards his waiting room, and left you standing there not too sure what to do anymore

During the filming, you struggled not to cry as Minhyun’s hand held yours

The movie theatre dimmed and started playing all the memories you’d made together

it was making you so emotional, and the sad piano BGM playing did not help at all

so you couldn’t stop the tears from falling when the video cut to a solo shot of Minhyun sending you a video message

“…This marriage may be coming to an end, but I will always treasure all the times and memories we made together…”

Covering a hand over your mouth, you tried not to sob out loud but it ended up sounding like you were having a coughing fit 

Minhyun had been quite cold to you after the encounter earlier that day, and hadn’t been particularly affectionate at all, but when he looked over at you, his face went from expressionless to one of alarm when he noticed that your cheeks were stained with tears

he immediately reached over and gently dabbed the tears away with his sleeve and pulled you into his chest

“hey, hey, don’t cry Y/N, it’s alright, babe don’t cry, I’m here for you.”

and this only made you sniffle more

Minhyun’s hand was soothingly patting the back of your head and for a minute you both forgot about the cameras as he pulled back and gently pressed his lips to your forehead

and it was such a touching and emotional moment

until you hiccupped

and Minhyun broke out into laughter his own eyes shining back at you

and you couldn’t help but join in with him in the laughter

you left the set holding hands, still sad but not as emotional as before

and you realised that this would be the last chance for you to say something

“Minhyun?”

He glanced down at you his gaze softening at the sight of your puffy eyes

“This isn’t goodbye right? Just because we’re not on the show anymore doesn’t mean we can’t see each other right?”

Minhyun just kinda looks at you like you’re crazy

“Did you really think that I’d just go on this show with you, the girl that i actually truly like, just to never talk to you again now the show’s over?”

and you were like ?? blinking in confusion…because minhyun actually does like like you, and it’s not one sided like you assumed girl it was so obv tho

He kept talking, “I looked forward to the days when i’d get to see you to film, because spending time with you is like the most natural thing in the world to me. Look I even keep this photo we took in my wallet.”

He shows you a cute little photo of the two of you at the cafe you’d been to on the first date.

“So Y/N? Don’t worry, this won’t be goodbye, you can’t get rid of your virtual husband that easily,” he says shooting finger hearts and winks at you

So, legitimately dating Minhyun is obviously not as open and conspicuous as WGM, but it’s still super cute

and on your first anniversary the two of you go on a late night outing to the cafe where you had your first date

and you buy the same drinks you had on that day and just enjoy each others company, forever grateful that you have Minhyun in your life

I hit 100 followers the other day and I’m so so grateful, thank you to everyone who reads my random little writings, even though I’m definitely still lacking lots! I’m working on the current requests that were sent in, so please hold tight if you’re still waiting~ ❤️❤️

[tellywoodtrash]

ishqbaaz 27.09.17 lb

again with the overdramatic new entry. 

rudra be like the fuck who is this dapper motherfucker who has more tadi than me and my brothers 

usne toh himmat kar li bina permission entry marne ki, lekin tumhare nalaayak security kya kar rahi thi when he just drove his damn bike into your goddamn house? 

abhay. fitting name. 

abhay’s cyoooot. has a decent voice/dialogue delivery too. 

“abbe tu abhay ho, bobby ho ya... teesra kaun hai?” “sunny.” 

snorttttt. 

major kiska pota? kisi ka bhi pota ho tu, dadaji ne tujhe sikhaaya nahi ki kisi ke ghar ke andar bike nahi ghusaate? 

damn his smile is cuuuuuute. oBros who? 

lol i’m so fickle. also i was craving a new pretty face to drool over. aaaaaand i found it! 

lmao the three oBros’ faces at dadi being all happy. apparently she’s not allowed to love any other new boys. 

pft such awaiii ka ghusaaya hua character he is. but again, he cute, so i don’t mind. 

please god can abhay remain a good boy, and not make me hate him? all i have right now to cling on to is the specter of samar jeet malhotra as my one unproblematic fave male character. 

LMAO RUDRA’S STINKEYE I AM LOVING IT. FUCK YOUUUUU RUDRA. *liptofies against abhay and kisses him* 

why the oBros so fucking grumpy? lighten up, idiots. or do you only like to adopt random young women into the family as honorary siblings? 

hooooooooooo boy, SSO is giving him up and down tadi waale looks. 

come on shivaay. accept him as new baby bro. look at how cute he is. 

i knewwww he’d be bringing mehendi! 

how’d he fit the box in his jacket tho? like...????? also, mehendi right up against a white shirt???? you truly are ABHAY (fearless), my friend!

anika is INSTANTLY charmed. i say she adopts him as new baby bro. shivaay has gauri already. 

100% organic mehendi. abhay’s done his research on gift recipient. i’m impressed. 

give the mehendi to anika tho, not the groom? 

LMAO OMRU ARE NOT HAPPY AT THIS NEW DEVAR ANIKA JUST ACQUIRED THANKS TO DADI, THEY’RE LIKE “NO! OUR BHAABI! OURS!”

anika just scored herself a new dost! yay! she could use more of those! 

wow, pinky bringing anika. interesting. 

poor anika’s hopeful eyes and smile though. the girl just wants to win saasuma over so badly. sigh. 

LMAO EVEN TEJ IS SICK OF THIS NONSENSE AND IS LIKE NOW WHAT, JUST LET THIS DAMN WEDDING HAPPEN ALREADY BEFORE SVETLANA KILLS US ALL 

pffffffft. vow time. 

om’s eyeroll of relief tho. 

ugh billllu whyyyyyy does this have to be in publiccccccc? couldn’t you do this in private like the ring thing???? 

LMAO ANIKA CHASTISING SAHIL FOR NOT HELPING WITH THE VOWS AND HIS SMILE 

the face of someone who’s totally ready. 

pehle aap pehle aap mein bloody muhurat beeta jaa raha hai. 

omki to the rescue as always. 

“WOW. woh W waala wow.”

aw man, his first vow is all in her language. 

shit that’s really sweet and heartfelt and i shoulda worked on this shit. hahaha fuck meeeeeeeeee. 

(note from tt @ anika: don’t worry babe. you got this. you’re gonna nail it!)

aw. family waala vow from her. 

even pinky looks gratified!

LMAO THE PANEER BUTTER MASALA 

“lathpath... agneepath!” 

said exactly in the tone of bachchan! 

LMAO all the family seems to be waaaaaay more into anika’s on the go vows than billu’s written months in advance. 

ok yes, i like these jokey vows vibe better now. 

KILL ME DEAD OMKARA WHY ARE YOU SO STINKING CUTE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH COME HERE MY STUPID HANDSOME BOY LET ME SQUISH YOU TO DEATH 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

billu, are you sure this is YOUR family? they’re allllll #teamAnika. 

you’ve already recorded her kicking you and she still didn’t believe you. so good luck with that billu. 

“jab bhi tum calculations mein phasogi toh main tumhe sahi zeroes lagaana sikhaaonga aur tumhe karke dikhaaonga!” 

ugh so stinking cute. also, need me a freak like this, who’ll handle all the math in my life. #mathAtheist

“jab bhi aap apne pahaadi kauwe jaisi besuri awaaz mein gaana gaayenge toh main nahi hasoongi.”

the singing and laughing was soooo nakuul breaking character. 

yup, at this point, this is just nakuul and not shivaay anymore. 

pinky can’t handle what a lovestruck idiot her son is being. she honestly didn’t raise him to be such a loser, wtf is he even doing lord. 

OK THIS HAS GONE ON FOR LONG ENOUGH IS THIS GOING TO BE JUST 40 MINUTES OF WOW VOWS COZ AS CUTE AS THIS IS IM BORED AND WANT SOME PLOT TO HAPPEN

pfffffffffffft, this kabhi nahi ladenge vow is the most unrealistic one in the history of the world for ANY COUPLE. 

even anika realises. 

okay this point this isn’t shivaay, it’s just nakuul. 

THIS GIRL HAS ZERO INHIBITIONS ANYMORE. AND HE GONNA CRYYYYYYYYYYYY. this is alllll i ever wanted from this damn couple *weeps*

i am living for tej’s happy face. 

“dhat pagli rulayegi kya?”

omg see! my theory about shivaay being secret bollywood fan is fully validated. he just pretends to be only into foreign cinema to be cool. he’s fulllllly into pre-2000s bollywood.   

“tum na, are the most beautiful, kind, wonderfully weird girl i know. tumhare saath bitaaya hua har lamha is an adventure...” 

sweet and all, but this vow is stolen word for word from friends no? mike’s vows to phoebe?? except the appu ghar bit of course. 

wait what was that bit about her body??? and his response “sab yahan hai, main bol nahi sakta...” get a room you assholes!

STOLEN VOWS OR NOT I AM CRYING. FUCKKKKKKK MEEEEEEEEEEE, MY KIDSSSSSSSSS. HOW LONG IT’S TAKEN THEM TO GET HERE WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH 😭😭😭😭

ummmmmmmmmm, wow. ok. that was highly unrealistic how abhay CAUGHT the sign. 

also, ugh, is there any symbolism to how he separated shivika to save them? coz.... i honestly cannot handle it if these two get fucked with AGAIN. please just let them live in peace. they’ve given their trial by fire already. 

ok what ridiculous extraaaaaaaa herobaazi. idgi, why is new guy given so much importance, when even omRu haven’t been given such heroic scenes?? 

finally. some non acid laced mehendi in this house. 

sahil’s cuteass expressions on the side. ouff, such cute, i just want to eat him up. 

aaankh maaare, ho ladka aaankh maare. 😉😉😉

fuck you rudra. just leave my girl bhavya aloneeeeeee. 

lol why the fuck would officer dad pick up your call? he fucking hates you. 

billu can’t stop with the sexy eyes at wife. 

oh great, abhay wants naach gaana. matlab, yeh begaani shaadi mein kuch zyaada deewana nahi ban raha????

PLEASE NO NAACH GAANA FUCKING PLEASE 

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

thank god omRu have managed to get into the groove of things though. coz abhay was seriously looking more pumped for this wedding than them. 

oh my heart, shivaay dancing with jhanviiiii and sahillll. 

lol abhay trying to sneak into the omRu dance collective 

of course, yahan yeh dono toh apne mein hi mast hai 

abhay has succeeded in winning over omRu!!! 😎😎😎

sexy hawa chaling and shivika are gravitating towards each other. methinks you two should sneak off and make out now.

.... aaaaaaaaand. nope. 

the most translucent duppatta in the world is being used as argument that these two not see each other till the wedding. cool. cool cool cool. 

abhay’s trying to play lawyer for shivaay but dadi be like son, you’re new here. shuuuuuuuush.

OMFG NO PHONES ALSO WTH DAAAAAAADI 😩😩😩😩

whut? these three drink together? i’ve never seen them sharing anything other than chai and milkshakes. 

om is already plastered. rudra is also almost there. shivaay is just like the fuck???? 😟😟😟

LMAO SHOW ITSELF POKING FUN AT SHIVAAY’S MULTIPLE SHAADI ATTEMPTS 

“RIGHT NUMBER LAGNE KE BAAD BHI, THE SSO WRONG NUMBER TRY KARTA RAHA, HELLLLOOOOOOOOO?”

omg this adorable idiot. 

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW 

drunk/high om is my favt. om. no for real. i loveeeeeeee him when he’s plastered outta his mind. 

wow, what was that one line om had about destiny and ppl not meant for each other meeting. does that mean he’s still thinking gauri and him aren’t right for each other???? 😧😧😧

lmaoooo rudra, on being explained what an ageist is “yaar maine toh kabhi aisa nahi kiya, main dadi se itna pyaar karta hoon.” 

oh boy, foreshadowing with all this “obros, we’ll never change” dialogue. fear and dread are gripping my heart. 

aaaaaaaand abhay’s maarofied entry into that scene. this is definitely foreshadowing. 

“bhaiii ki tarah” based on what exactly? 

and lol omru’s faces at that. 

i def get the vibe that abhay’s putting nazar on oBro bond. oh abhay. why? just be the fourth damn musketeer.

like, fuck calling each other, i would kill someone who took my phone. excuse me, i need my hourly updates about all the cats i’m following on instagram???? and i need to keep up with all the hot new memes that are spawned on an hourly basis on this hellsite????? gimme my phone  bitch!!!!

shivaay is just rambling at this point... talking about everything from anika to his sleep issues and how it’s aging him. 🙄🙄🙄🙄

ok won’t deny this idea is cute af and i would fully fall for that. you guys know the way to my heart is through music.

ok shivaay that’s not a wireless speaker. put it down. 

how are these two playing these songs like this on CASSETTES or whatever on demand???? so unrealistic. ipod toh use kiya hota. 

yeah, don’t ever try to tell me shivaay doesn’t know bollywood again. this fool filmyyyyyyyyyyyyyy as fuck. also, he’s playing aaaaalllll the right songs. he knows what songs for what situations! 

OMFG WHAT A DRAMA QUEEN.

oooooh forbidden chathh meeting???? 

daaaaaaaaaang om. calm down. 

ALSO, ART SUPPLIES ARE EXPENSIVE. 

oh wow, jhanvi remembered she has a son. who was willing to give up his whole damn life for her. 

... wait, so gauri isn’t in the house??

but yesterday they kept saying that she’s in the house? like he said gauri would arrange the sangeet, and anika was like i have to go see gauri about the clothes... kuch toh continuity rakho peeps. 

ooooooh yeaaaaah angst. gimme it! gimme all of it! 

“jab insaan ko pata hai ki uski sawaalon ka jawaab nahi milega toh woh sawaal nahi kiya karta. bas chup chaap jawaab ka intezaar karta hai.”

um. the irony. you realise that’s what gauri’s been doing for MONTHS now??? MONTHS. one day and you’re dying like this, you weakass loser. 

wait was he talking about gauri or himself? or both??? like... i need more exposition. 🤔🤔🤔🤔

he’s crying though and i can’t handle and i just want to love away his pain, ugh ommmmm. my stupid trash son. 

OMFG THE HORRIFIC CGI ARE YOU KIDDING ME WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK I CAN MAKE A BETTER BG FOR THEM IN LIKE... MS PAINT OR SOME SHIT, WHAT THE FUCK 

and how the fuckkkkk is this their chath??? this is a damn hilltop. come on. 

lol why the ghoongat, anika? so damn extra. 

THIS SCENE IS BEING RUIIIIIIIIIIIIINED BY THE CGI I JUST CANT GET OVER IT OH GOD ITS SO HORRIBLE I CAN’T CONCENTRATE ON THE SEXY COZ OF IT. 

OK FOCUS TT. FOCUSSSSSSSSS. 

ismein dhoondne ki kya baat hai, it’s right fucking there in like... neon letters. bloody nonsense. like you didn’t try at allllllllllll, mehendi waali! 

haaaaaaaaaye. 

lol she just straight up told him that she likes dom!Shivaay better. he’s like whatever you sayyyyy, m’lady. call me “daddy”. 

oh come on tej, use all your power to find gauriiiii. 

lovinggggg om burning in angst. lovingggg it.  

whoooops. english sir ko badi utaavli chadhi thi. 

but at least om has a location to go find her now!!!! 

oh boy, don’t tell me om’s suspecting her again. i’ll kill you, boy. i will. 

oooooooh whut. tej is here to having bonding talk. 

of course, this is the last thing om needs right now. 

like tej’s “redemption” is hella stupid, but ok, i’m tired of hating him, so whatever. 

“badi der kardi huzoor, aate aate.” 

*hugs my poor angsty poet son* 

“ab badalne ka koi fayda nahi hai, kyunki maine apne baap ke bina jeena seekh liya hai.”

siiiiiiiiiiigh. these 4 lions men and their daddy issues. 

“main aaj tak apne pareshaaniyo se ladte aaya hoon. aur aaj bhi ladunga, akele.” 

“ek bhi shikaayat nahi hai mujhe aap se. shikaayaat toh unse hoti hai, jinse umeed ho.” 

my heart is breaking for my boy here. 

it’s also going dhak dhak for how. damn. handsome. he. is. CANNOT ABLE TO HANDLE ONLY 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

yaaaaaaaaaaaas call him out on all the BS, om! PULL THOSE DAMN RECEIPTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

look at his poor broken face. i am destroyed. despite everything he says, he’s just a little boyyyyyyyyyy, wanting a dad. 😥😥😥😥

that’s the best advice tej can give him: don’t be like me. respect your marriage. cherish your wife. 

OH BOY WHAT IS THIS RAGEY “MAIN AB USSSE SAMAJHNE MEIN KOI GALTI NAHI KAROONGA” WHAT DOES THIS MEAN OM YOU BETTER NOT BE SUSPECTING HER ANYMORE SO HELP ME GOD DON’T MAKE ME COME IN THERE AND SET JANGO ON YOUR ASS AGAIN

omfg pleaseeeeeeeeeeee do not telll shivaaay anything. please let him have this one fucking wedding. 

oh thank god. 

why’s billu wearing holi waale clothes again? 

ohhhhhh boy, who dat? is it svetlana??? anika? whooooooo????

[votingdog]

i wanted to do a thing

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? i would, yeah 2. You talked to an ex today, correct? i have, like three of them lmao? 3. Have you taken someones virginity? i have not 4. Is trust a big issue for you? definitely  5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently? i did!! it was really nice aaa 6. What are you excited for? hanging out with my friends? always? im lonely 7. What happened tonight? nothing really? ive been on tumblr mostly 8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted? nah bitch me too just pls be careful 9. Is confidence cute? so cute!! but so is being shy?? everything is cute everyone is cute love me 10. What is the last beverage you had? tea 11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? three, id say 12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans? all my jeans are skinny jeans 13. What are you gonna do Saturday night? saturdays are for the boys 14. What are you going to spend money on next? probably a charger tbh 15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed? am not. relationships are scary and i need to figure shit out before i can be in another one 16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months? it wouldnt surprise me  17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? noah and xavier 18. The last time you felt broken? eeeeeeeeeeeee  19. Have you had sex today? nope 20. Are you starting to realize anything? im cute and worthy of love okay 21. Are you in a good mood? yeah i mean? yeah. weirdly. 22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks? maybe 23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s? what dad lmao 24. What do you want right this second? cuddles 25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy? “were they cute? tell me about itt” im very poly y’all 26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color? yee 27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? probably not, then again it isnt hard to make me laugh 28. What was the last thing that made you laugh? honestly probably noah being a goof 29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now? y e s 30. Does everyone deserve a second chance? not everyone, but most people do 31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to? absolutely not!! i love him sm  32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do? i express it like,,,,,all the time so i really hope so? 33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda? i only drink the clear ones? like sprite and ginger ale are my shit. everything is is,,,not 34. Listening to? jezebel by iron & wine 35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore? not usually. i mostly use pen bc i clearly never make mistakes 36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is? i mean, im 99% sure he’s at his house but idk he could be in a graveyard for all i know 37. Do you believe in love at first sight? nah. curiosity and crushing(ish) at first sight, yes, but love takes a bit 38. Who did you last call? xavier. i usually do to sleep 39. Who was the last person you danced with? my ex. we didnt get to go to prom together and he was sad he didnt get to dance with me, so we danced in my bedroom  40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed? because he’s a huge cutie!!! 41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake? i dont remember?? pls give me a cupcake?? 42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today? noo. i dont see my mom much rip 43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? always??? i embarrass myself in front of everyone?? 44. Do you tan in the nude? i dont tan? not purposely at least. i just go outside sometimes and i guess i tan easily bc my tan line is r e a l 45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss? of course nott i wanna kiss him like all the time 46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? maybe? i dont remember. i usually do tho 47. Who was the last person to call you? xavier 48. Do you sing in the shower? if no one’s around 49. Do you dance in the car? ive done the macarena in the car 50. Ever used a bow and arrow? yee 51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? school pictures? other than that when i was like real little bc my family was that suburban white family who got them every year (at walmart) 52. Do you think musicals are cheesy? duh but i love them so much 53. Is Christmas stressful? y e s 54. Ever eat a pierogi? pardon? 55. Favorite type of fruit pie? i? uh? apple? 56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? oh jeez that’s a heavy question. sky diver, wizard, vet, and a teacher 57. Do you believe in ghosts? yes theyre real and one sucked my dick behind an arby’s 58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? a lot actually 59. Take a vitamin daily? my unhealthy ass? i laugh 60. Wear slippers? no, usually jsut socks 61. Wear a bath robe? no, im usually just in a towel after the shower for like 20 minutes while i dissociate 62. What do you wear to bed? t-shirt and underwear unless im alone and then just underwear 63. First concert? black veil brides, falling in reverse, and set it off 64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? targett 65. Nike or Adidas? shrugs. i wear off brand vans every day 66. Cheetos Or Fritos? cheetos! 67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? peanuts 68. Favorite Taylor Swift song? mary’s song, dear john, and december. i unironically love her old stuff 69. Ever take dance lessons? i did ballet and tap c: 70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? shrugs. whatever they wanna do i support 71. Can you curl your tongue? yee 72. Ever won a spelling bee? i got fifth place one year and third another 73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? last night 74. What is your favorite book? the trylle series 75. Do you study better with or without music? with 76. Regularly burn incense? ive never done it on my own accord actually 77. Ever been in love? oh have i 78. Who would you like to see in concert? um? iron & wine? idk im listening to him now and i lov 79. What was the last concert you saw? ,,,,,,,,,,refer to number 63 80. Hot tea or cold tea? cold! 81. Tea or coffee? teaa 82. Favorite type of cookie? peanut butter ^^ 83. Can you swim well? i mean, i guess? i dont much idk 84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? yee 85. Are you patient? mostly, unless im like breaking down and/or splitting. then i freak 86. DJ or band, at a wedding? shrugs 87. Ever won a contest? i dont believe? i got second in one once for a collage i made of photographs when i was in kindergarten  88. Ever have plastic surgery? nah 89. Which are better black or green olives? green!! 90. Opinions on sex before marriage? i personally dont care. it’s important to some people and not to others. just respect each other yo 91. Best room for a fireplace? anywhere im around. i lov 92. Do you want to get married? aaaaaaa gotta find someone who would actually marry me first bitch wtf 

[tellywoodtrash]

ishqbaaz 26.09.17 lb

“shaadi na ho gayi mahabharat ho gaya.”

bloody hell, good someone recognizes. this shit’s been going on for like.................. years.

wow anika, utaaavli much? seedha elvis pose! 

waise good to see she’s anxious to get laid as well. 

LMAO EVERYONE’S REACTIONS:

omki as usual, is the bestest. i love him so much. 

lol yeah sure anika. hella poor coverup job. 

ugh these two fuckers. cut out the fucking cute and GIVE ME THARAK.

ok how many things today? ring ceremony, mehendi... matlab, 3 mahino se is bloody shaadi ko kheenche jaa rahe ho and now everything’s going to happen in one fucking day? fuck you ppl. 

OMFG ZAAAAAAAAAKIRR KHAN. I LOVEEEEEEEEEE HIMMMMMMMMM. HE’S ONE OF THE FUCKING BEST STAND UP COMEDIANS INDIA HAS. 

i’ve seen him live as well (his new haq se single tour), and he was absolute fire. he did the entire two hours without even a pause for water! 

some of my favt bits by him (1, 2, 3, 4, 5) it’s a little heavy on indori + delhi hindi slang, but if you’re fluent, you’ll love it. 

haaaaye, mere sakht launde ke kya din aa gaye, ke is chutiya show mein usse cameo karna pad raha hai. laanat ho tumpe star plus. laanat. 

pls, shivaay would never be friends with zakir. ever. zakir’s whole schtick is based on his middle class-ness and self deprecation about the chutiyaapa of life when middle class and average and not model-esque looking. now anika and zakir being friends, i can see. they really should have had him be HER friend. 

ok this shit is hella embarrassing for ZAKIR, so imma fwd. 

anika has fucking loooooooost it. 

invisible gauri is in charge of sangeet. (get well soon shrenu! i miss your face already, my little button!)

ohhhhhhhh boy, pinky. 

her complaints be fully legit though. 

wow, even om is trying to shush shivaay. 

dadi has fully forgiven pinky. even after suspecting her to do khulaasa of the oh so dangerous raaz and what not. idgi. 

anika is freaking out. like why though? they’ve gone through this wedding shit a million times. like... just get it over with, sis. 

the real crisis: “main pehnoongi kya??????????” 

hubs is here to calm her down. 

“AAPKA BREATHING GAYA TEL LENE. DO DIN MEIN SHAADI HAI, PEHENE KE LIYE KAPDE NAHI HAI, BREATHING THODI NA PEHNOONGI!?!?!?”

lolllllllll

khudi ke choice ko beautiful keh raha hai. usse bhi toh dikha. she’s the one who has to wear the damn thing her whole life. 

ouffffffff what is this stupid immature billu and bandariya fight???? 

ok that was a little uncalled for, shivaay. 

but i mean.... ok. i woulda done the same. chick was getting OUTTA CONTROL.

aaaaaaand..... every action has an equal and opposite reaction, so....

“breathe shivaay. JUST BREAAAAAAATHE!” lmaooooo

time for some seski romancinggggggg. 

uh huh honey. get itttttttttt. 

sealed with a kiss! 

that ring is too big and so un-anika-like though. 

whut. where the fuck did she get a ring from tho???? 

and how did she conjure that shit up like a fucking magician? 

billu looks like he might cry. i’m loving the whole reversal of the proposal trope!

yo man my girl got some maaaaaaaaaaaad moves, and some hella alluring “let’s sex” eyes. billu can’t even handle it. he’s a weepy, gooey mess. 

ouff billu why would you ask for one more kiss ON THE HAND? you and your damn hand fetish. 

ok my damn heart is bursting from feelz. *weeping* my babies. my beaaaaauuuutiful babies. so happy and peaceful (in the moment. let’s see how long it lasts.)

ocd perfectionist billu is being a pain in the ass for the vendors. ek toh last se bhi last minute order, upar se nakhre hazaar. in the words of zakir, hatt behenchod... 

lol shivaaaay has a phobia of the words “thank you” now. he hears it and instant pavlovian response; thinks he’s fucked up and needs to start grovelling. 

lmao “(w)ow likhne nahi hote shivaay, wow ko mehsoooos kiya jaata hai!”

uh, you’re hindus. “vows” have been prewritten for you for thousands of years. you really don’t need to khapaaofy your sar over it? awaiiii ke chonchle during last minute wedding. 

HE’S WRITTEN HIS VOWS ALREADY. WHAT A NERD. 

ew what is this excited to share in front of whole family waali feeling tho? who are these ppl who like to exhibit their most private feelings like this? mera bas chale toh there’d be no one at my wedding other than the groom and myself. i don’t need ppl witnessing this nonsense. 

“are you staring at my lips?”

lmaoooooooooo him correcting her from offscreen. 

what the fuck even is this rudra scene???? like.... what even is this fastforwarding of their plot???? just yest they were in the guest house almost making out??? 

LMAO ANIKA ADALAT MEIN OATH LE RAHI HO KYA???

ok the first vow itself is setting her up for failure. girl you know you’re gonna call him baaghad billa before the end of the day even.

dude, just steal his vows. 

EEEEEEEEEEEEE SAHILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL 

lolllll i knewwww it. she’s making sahil steal shivaay’s vows. 

WHAT FUCKING CONNECTION RUDRA

GOD BHAVYA WHY THE FUCK IS HE IN THE HOUSE RUINING YOUR BIG DAY 

there’s not even dosti between you two. he’s a whiny little pissbaby who’s not even worth befriending. coz he doesn’t get how men and women can be friends.

yup. he’s manhandling her. great. 

AND SLUT SHAMING HER. OMFG RUDRAAAAAAAAAAAAA YOU’RE THE ABSOLUTE FUCKING WORST

that’s 3 outta 3 oBros slut shaming their future wives. great job, gulneet! keep it up!!!!

BHAVYA FUCKING HELL GET HIM FUCKING ARRESTED. GOD YOU DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER GIRL; PLEASE, LOVE YOURSELF, MANAV IS SUCH A NICE GUY PLEASE JUST MARRY HIM

lol this tiny munchkin thief. 

aaaaaaaaaaaaand shivaay’s here. 

LMAO HE KNEW SHE’D TRY TO STEAL THE VOWS 

omfg the vows are so damn extra, all tied up in ribbon and shit wtf

ok i know this kinda comedy is laaaaaaame, but I FUCKING LOVE IT. also, it was nice to see shivaay in shark singh oberoi mode after a long long time. 

ohhhhhhhhh boy, shivaay gonna fuck her over. 

LMAO HIS LETTER TO HER: 

“wow anika. sorry, nakalchi bandariya. i cannot believe tumne apne chote bhai ko chori karne ke liye bheja, you cheater. apne vows khud likho, and remember it’s VOWS. with a V.” 

sahil sach mein bohut ekta kapoor waale serials dekhne laga hai. 

“aapki help ki chakkar mein meriiii integrityyyyyy pe question mark lag gaya!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” 

lmaooooo his dangal waali impression. 

“behen ki shaadi hai, bhai ko aur bhi bohut kaam hote hai, CHORI KE ALAAWA!!!!” 

lmaooooooooo omg i love sahil so much. petition to have him replace rudra as the youngest oBro, coz honestly i want to strangle rudra with my bare hands rn. 

daaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn omki, you’re so fine, you’re so fine you blow my mind, OH OMKI!!!!! OH OMKI!!!!!!!!!!!! 

omki be all angsty at wife telling him to gtfo. good. 

god i’m so sad we won’t get angsty rikara romance during shaadi ki rasmein. i was soooo looking fwd to it. 

rudra fuck you to fuckkkkkkkkk. 

yes, for fucks sake make your utara hua thopdas better coz SO HELP ME GOD I WON’T LET YOU FUCKERS AND YOUR INSENSITIVITY RUIN THE BIG DAY OF THE ONE OBRO WHO ISN’T COMPLETELY ABOMINABLE RIGHT NOW. 

this weird angst is soooooooo killing my buzz. could you assholes just gtfo???? i really don’t care about your issues that you’ve brought upon yourself.

holy shit shivKara look so damn hot in black. i wanna spread them on toast and just nommmmmmmm. 

can’t even look at rudra with how much i hate him today. 

pinky looks nice. unhappy af, but nice. 

.... why are shakti and tej so awkwardly seated? 

ok, anika’s outfit... isn’t BAD... but isn’t GREAT either. but my girl so pretty, she looks fire anyway. 

i’m really missing more of a younger female presence in this episode, like gauri and bhavya and sumo.

(lol prinku who???? noone gives a shit. gauri has fully replaced prinku as the baby sister of choice. “sabse choti!!!!!!!!” shivaay yelled yesterday. like literally no one gives one flying fuck about stupid prinku who only added nothing but misery to their lives, as opposed to gauri who adds magic and happiness and sunshine and glitter.)

heart eyes motherfucker. “wow” is right. 

i have the same question as shivaay: tote ki yaadaasht achchi hoti hai???? 

she’s gonna fly by the seat of her lehenga and fuck you upppppp billu. 

waise, why are the vows being read on the mehendi day, instead of the shaadi???? 

is baar mehendi mein kaunsa corrosive liquid hoga? 

aaaaand pinky’s going awff. 

shivaay’s wielding phone of tadi. and is fucking up whoever’s on the other end. 

“sab kuch pefect chahiye toh khud karna chahiyeee” bada dialogue maar raha tha. why didn’t you go out and get the mehendi yourself then????

bike pe kaunnnnn hai? is it that new dude? 

lmao mehendi ka wait being made so overdramatic. sit your ass down and wait, loser.

is new dude bringing the mehendi????? 

THIS FUCKER JUST RODE THE BIKE RIGHT INTO THEIR LIVING ROOM. LIKE.... HE HAS TO BE AN OBEROI FOR SURE. SUCH EXTRA CAN ONLY BE IN THEIR GENES. 

what the fuck were security even doing when someone RODE A BIKE INTO THE HOUSE?????? 

digging his leather jacket/skinny tie combo though. 

whoever he is, he cute af. can we replace rudra with HIM? 

“you’re the most beautiful, kind, wonderfully weird girl i know... tumhare saath bitaaya hua har lamha is like an adventure, and i just wanna be with you forever.” 

well damn. those ARE some perfect vows. 

[tellywoodtrash]

ishqbaaz/dbo 29.05.17 lb

plain text version here.

om stop glaring at my girl. don’t make me yank your tiny ponytail. 😠😠😠

husband wife hug ke alaawa aur bhi bohut kuch karte hai, woh bhi kabhi kiya karo!!!!!! che mahine se hug pe hi suiii atki hui hai tumhari, pfffft. 😒😒😒

but i’m dying @ how he keeps going back for hugs and encouraging her to hug him so that “they can see it’s normal!” ugh, this adorable asshole. 😭😭😭

yeah ok who died and made you the foremost expert on marriage and relationships, shivaay? 🙄🙄🙄

apni shaadi toh theek se sambhali nahi jaa rahi, dusron ko gyaan deta phir raha hai. 😑😑😑

lmaoooooo the boys are scared of anika’s cooking after her paneer fiasco. 😂😂😂😂

ek packet maggi ke liye ITNAAAAAA excitement aur drama. pffft. 🙄🙄🙄

goddamnit, just merge the fucking shows into one already. i need shivaay and gauri to be able to hang outtttt everydayyyy. 😩😩😩

lmaoooo ok, the girls are GOING for it. aw man, i miss rudra. he’d have been on theirrrrr teammmm. 😊😊😊

let om go back to dbo, but can we have gauri here please? pleaseee???? i need to see her to be here with anika and shivaayyyy. 👸🏽👸🏽👸🏽

i am kinda side-eyeing buamaa’s saccharine love for these two now that she mightttt be shady. 😐😐😐

OUFF SOMEONE CHOOSE SOMETHING. 😒😒😒

cause of death: shivaay waking up and feeling around for anika on the bed, before even opening his eyes. 💀💀💀

god, that kurta and his fluffy hair makes him look absolutely delicious. i could spread him on toast and just NOM. 😍😍😍

such a cute top she’s wearing, but ugh, this weird table cloth kinda crap on top of it is ruining everything.  😣😣😣

please shivaay, you’re the un-jhel-able one here. do i need to remind you how many women ran out on your ass on your wedding day? 😑😑😑

TELL HIM, GIRLLLLLLL. 😚😚😚

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

like, romance and all is fine, but in scenes like this, i can’t help but think of the morning breath situation. ok i’ll stfu and just enjoy the sexy. 🤐🤐🤐

“toh jaao na, anika.” 

hahahahahha, fuck me. 😧😧😧

here lies tellywoodtrash, killed by the sexiest fucking whisper i’ve ever heard in my not-so-short life. in lieu of flowers, please buy my cat some cat food instead, thanks. 😽😽😽

OMG JUST FUCKING KISS HIM GIRL, LOOK AT HIM ALL SEXY AND SLEEP RUFFLED AND HOARSE VOICED. HONESTLY, WHAT ARE YOU EVEN MADE OF!?!?!? 😲😲😲

ok the fuck, she has to wear that in the evening, asshole. will you iron it for her? yeah i didn’t thinkkkkk so. ok sorry, i’ll stfu again and try to enjoy the sexy. 🤐🤐🤐

anika really seems into his sexy clothes throwing though. maybe she doesn’t hate ironing as much as i do. 😕😕😕

"mat likhwana. biwi toh phir bhi meri hi rahogi.” 

this cocky bastardddddddd. 😯😯😯

snort. narcissist. 😆😆😆

but omggggg his adorableeeeeeeee smileeeeeee. 😍😍😍

ugh, they’re so fucking cute, i can’t. i just can’t. let me just savourrrrrrrrr these moments, knowing the shitstorm that is comingggg. 😫😫😫

OUFF NO I DON’T CARE ABOUT RONDHU GIRL. GO BACK TO BADE BHAIYYA AND BHAUJAIIII BEING SEXY. 😑😑😑

lol maaaan, their love story is so fucking contriveddd. 🙄🙄🙄

whyyyyyyy is she always cryinggggggggggg? like, girl, come on. 😒😒😒

rudy boy, honestly, i thought you had smoother moves than THIS. like... this is BS desi stalker “do you wanna make frandship with me” shit. 😟😟😟

OK YES YOU HAVE RIPPED OFF ALL OF HUM DIL DE CHUKE SANAM IN THESE 3 MINUTES. STOP ALREADY. 😒😒😒

ohhhhh god noooooooo, return of thisssssss horrible outfit. i haaaaate that stupid collar. 😫😫😫

god pinkyyyyy. you’re the worsttttt. 😡😡😡

no the mehendi colour is contingent on HUSBAND’s pyaar actually. so fuck off pinky. 😤😤😤

siiiiiiiiiiigh. my poor girl. sach bol bhi nahi sakti is mummeh ke bete ko, jhoot bhi nahi bol sakti. *hugs her* 😔😔😔

“mehendi mein mera hi naam likhwaana.”

achcha hua tumne bol diya. nahi toh padosi ka naam likhwaane jaa rahi thi. 😂😂😂

“sirf hum dono hi ek dusre ko jhel sakte hai.” 

truth. you’re both freaks. please let the rest of us normals live. 😌😌😌

aw, his little eyebrow raise. ugh. nakuul is killing me today man. 😍😍😍

also killing me, in a not good way? his fucking sherwani. like it’s bad enough i had to watch him wear this once, BUT TWICE?????? the fuck. 😑😑😑

oh anika, you naive fooool. just murder the old bat already. 😠😠😠

lol does the chai have glucose biscuit in it today or not? 😋😋😋

not. 😂😂😂

ugh fuckkkkkkkk you om. now does she have to taste test every fucking drink she brings you? 😒😒😒

god, what an asshole. GIRL COULD YOU JUST LEAVEEEEEEEEE HISSSS ASSSSSSSS????? 😣😣😣

waaaah, kameeni bhi idhar colour coordinated hai. 😌😌😌

ohhhhh great, another zabardasti ki shaadi. 😠😠😠

HE’S THE FUCKING ACP!!!! HOW THE FUCK IS HE GONNA FORCE HER INTO MARRYING????? LIKE??? 😯😯😯

er... what? what gang? 🤔🤔🤔

ppl with guns crashing wedding and shooting in the air, classic UP wedding. 😊😊😊

LMAO GOGGLE GANG HAHAHAHAHA 😂😂😂😂😂

ohhh goggle gang dude, you messed with the wrongggggggg cry baby. 😎😎😎

ugh. pinkyyyyyyyyy. 😠😠😠

but acid would form a separate layer when poured on oil and it’d be really obvious????? 🤔🤔🤔

dulhe ki behen has new clothes, dulhan is still wearing puraane kapde from her husband’s wedding to some other chick. best. 😒😒😒

LMFAO WHAT THE FUCK EVEN, BHAVYA???? 😂😂😂

uske upar this CRAZY KIYA RE ka soundtrack. the cherry on top of the WTF sundae that is this scene. 😆😆😆

ouff rudra, you’re suchhhh a loser. 🙄🙄🙄

it’s ridiculous to see om all happy happy like this in some scenes, when he doesn’t want these ceremonies to be carried out. like... character consistency please???? 😐😐😐

ugh, we’re entering the #drama portion of the night. do i absolutely haaaave to watch? can’t i just watch the first 20 minutes again??? 😩😩😩

... can shivaay have ONE normal mehendi function in his life without the damn thing being spiked with acid? 😣😣😣

okaaaaaaaaaaay, abrupttttt scene change. 😶😶😶

YO THIS GIRL LEGIT LOOKS LIKE AMRAPALI. 😯😯😯

lmaooooooooooooo anika’s CUT THE BS face. 😂😂😂

ouff this whole BS is so predictable. pinky will accuse anika of fucking with the mehendi. and a whole lot of yelling and trying to make shivaay pick a side. ughhhhhhhhh. 😑😑😑

yupppppp. 🙄🙄🙄

WAIT. RATHORE. ACP RATHORE. was she the one who was supposed to originally investigate that case from eons ago, and ranveer came instead??? 😯😯😯

also - wow. three names, woh bhi rajput. she’s a 4 Lions Hero. 😏😏😏

yes ok you’re a badass and all, but i still don’t think you’re right for my rudy boy. 😐😐😐

aaaaaaaand we’re off with the nightly #OberoiSlam 😒😒😒

prinku, can you ever be anything but THE FUCKING WORST? CAN YOU AT LEAST FUCKING TRY? gawdddddd. jab bolna hota hai, tab toh mooh nahi kholti. kholti hai toh aise chutiyape ke liye. 😠😠😠

ohhhhhh hoooooo, so much yelllling. 😫😫😫

shivaay, dude, it’s time to look into expanding the business abroad. just take the wife and fucking go live somewhere else for a few years, thanks. 😌😌😌

om’s face is screaming “thank god i live in the alternate universe. i can’t take this shit on a daily basis.” 😂😂😂

BRO THE SCENE CHANGES ARE SO FUCKING ABRUPT; I WAS LIKE WHAT THE F IS THE FUCKING POLICE DOING HERE FOR THIS MEHENDI WAALA ISSUE. 😟😟😟

ouffffffff not feeling this stupid love story at all. if anything, this badass lady cop deserves someone smarter than rudra? 😗😗😗

same, girl. same. #theseDogsAintShit 🙄🙄🙄

ohhhhhh great. from a good acp, to this lameass one who is the worst. at everything. 😒😒😒

WHEN THE FUCK ARE PPL GOING TO STOP BEING ABLE TO WALTZ INTO THIS HOUSE AS THEY PLEASE????? WHERE THE F IS KHANNA? 😡😡😡

her nose looks back to normal now. dude i don’t get it. 🤔🤔🤔

also, they’re already in the middle of one ‘kid in-law’ crisis right now. take a number and wait your turn, bro. 😝😝😝

ohhhhhhhhhh boy. what mission? what are they going to use him for? he’s an OBEROI. not really the most low key dude you can just blend into the crowds with. 😕😕😕

oufffffffff yahan pe yeh khatam nahi hua? 🙄🙄🙄

goddddddd. why can’t my girl catch a fucking break? she was so fucking excited for her mehendi. 😭😭😭

you’re consoling the wrong fucking personnnn, shivaay. he doesn’t even WANT the rasm to happen. 😑😑😑

om having to do shivaay’s emotional labour, aaaaaah it’s just like the old days! 😊😊😊

goddddd ranveeeeeeeer you’re such a fucking psychoooooo. FUCKING LET GO OF HER. 😡😡😡

COZ SHE’S A DECENT FUCKING HUMAN BEING WHO HATES UNNECESSARY BLOODSHED, YOU ASSHOLE. 😤😤😤

don’t fall for it prinku. DON’T FUCKING FALL FOR IT. 😩😩😩

WHAT IS WITH THIS FUCKING UNIVERSE AND JUST... LIKE THIS IS NOT HOW MARRIAGE WORKS, YOU ASSHOLES, ON A PURELY LEGAL STANDPOINT (LET’S NOT EVEN GO INTO THE EMOTIONAL), THIS IS NOT HOW IT WORKS!!!! 😫😫😫

OH THANK GOD FOR SHIVAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

YAAAAAAAS. BEAT THE SNOT OUT OF HIM SHIVAAY!!!!! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU NOT HELPING, OM? 😒😒😒

i mean, yes good, hold prinku back. that’s a form of helping too, i guess. i’d prefer if you used your sculptor guns to sculpt him a new face tho. 😗😗😗

lmao, all i gotta say to gauri is welcome to the fam, girl!!!!! 😂😂😂

anika, can you just STFU???? why do you keep talking crap when it’s not the time???? let him deal with his stupidass never-learns-her-goddamn-lesson sister as he sees fit. 😑😑😑

OH NO, PINKY KAMEENI TEAM UP. OH NO OH NO OH NO! 😟😟😟

and omg yaaaaaaaaas, finally, tender!Omkara channeling his best ASR with the choodiyaan. 😊😊😊