#like why are my reactions so extreme. why am i so fucked up. why can't i be normal

[robinsnest2111]

I shouldn't still be so shaken by my emotional support coworker calling me by my deadname (which I have to put on official paperwork sadly) as a joke, days after the fact. but here I am, still shaken.

idk. I guess I shouldn't have gotten so extremely attached. he's just a coworker after all. just a guy I work with on occasion. we're not best buddies, we don't know everything about each other, we're just coworkers. I shouldn't have put so much trust in him and shouldn't have hinged my entire emotional well being on him being nice to me.

like. idk. idk idk idk. idk. he tried. in the beginning. with the whole name and pronouns thing. we bonded over 80s hard rock and glam metal. always bantering and laughing whenever we share work shifts. but idk. lately he's been slipping up more often with the pronouns. he still corrects himself but idk.

idk man. just. this has shifted my whole view of him. makes me feel sick and unwell. like something's shattered. idk. my first instinct is to stop talking to him entirely outside of the most basic/necessary work convos. but that'd be mean.... and probably not the healthiest way to react. idk.......... I just don't know what to do tbh.

[wizardnuke]

does anyone know if we have to roll that rock up the hill again tomorrow

[boiohboii]

LMAOOO THIS WITH THE LECLERC BROTHERS 😭😭

https://youtube.com/shorts/aFHKUtjI44s?feature=share

That went well? (Lando Norris x Leclerc! Reader)

N.B: this had been in my drafts for a while, I hope you like it.

WARNING: SWEAR WORDS. F WORD MULTIPLE TIMES. PREGNANCY PRANK PLOT. MENTION OF COCK AND DICKHEAD (BOTH USED AS INSULTS). MENTIONS OF HITTING / SMACKING AS AN OLDER BROTHER (I DO NOT CONDONE VIOLENCE) let me know if I missed anything!

You didn't know how they managed to convince you, honestly it was a suicide mission, but still you could see the fun in your brothers' reactions, which is why you decided that inviting your brothers and their partners over would be a good way to do the prank.

Setting everything up, you started to get extremely nervous, you didn't know what to expect, all three Leclerc males are very unpredictable even if you grew up together your whole lives.

You knew there was no going back once you heard Carla's (Aurthur's girlfriend) scream from the bathroom, where you had set up the pregnancy test in the bin- hidden but visible enough for someone who would throw something away to see.

Meeting Lando's eyes from across the table, the same thought ran through your heads- well, there's no going back now.

While Arthur rushed to see Carla, followed by Lorenzo and his girlfriend, Charles spotted your nervous expression, your bouncing leg and your nails picking at the opposite thumb tearing off the skin. It was the last action that stopped the middle Leclerc boy dead in his tract, you only did that when you think whatever you did or said was downright bad- should stay away and isolate myself bad.

"YOU FUCKING BRITISH BREADSTICK," a strong, enraged voice echoed through the entire building "I WILL MAKE YOU CHEW ON YOUR OWN COCK YOU DICKHEAD."

Now, the Leclerc brothers have heard Lorenzo cursing up a storm before, but he had always been very careful around YN, installing into Charles and Arthur that yes you can swear and joke around with such words and insults around your friends, but not around girls and most certainly not their baby, innocent sister.

Was YN scared? Yes, she had never heard her brother sound so furious. Was Lando shaking in his non existent boots? Absolutely. The young driver started to sweat as soon as he heard the loud cry of his girlfriend's oldest brother.

Flared nostrils, red face and steam coming out of his ears, Lorenzo appeared at the end of the hall looking like he had fought his way out of an amusement park's death train seat.

"YOU GOT YN PREGNANT!"

Now, it was Charles' turn to follow his older brother's footsteps, "YOU FUCKING TOOL BOX! I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!"

"YOU WANKER!" now Landk did not expect Arthur to insult him with his own language- the British, but you can't always know what life's gonna throw at you.

Just like how he did not expect to be running around town at 7 PM trying to avoid Lorenzo's shoe that seemed to always re-appear in the eldest male's hands, along with trying to not get anymore bruises from the broken stick in Chales' hands (it broke as the older F1 racer smacked it on his back) all while trying not to question how Arthur even knows that many british insults.

"I feel like we should tell them that it's a prank." YN uttered softly, wincing as Charles has managed yet again to hit Lando, as if it was his birthday and Lando was his pinada.

"No no," Carla giggled as she watched Lorenzo's dress shoe fly across the street "this is fun."

[creepswrites]

Hi, I just read your hcs about reader struggling with anxiety and depression, it was really great! I am also sorry you're going through tough times rn, I really really hope you'll feel better soon. Tbh I've been going through something myself and reading the Sinclair brothers' hcs, it reminded me of an idea I've wanted to eequest for a long while. I would like to request for the Siclair brothers (separately) x gn!reader headcanons where the reader struggles with mental health issues, but since they don't really leave Ambrose they can't get to their medication. How would they approach the brothers about it, would they hide it, how would the brothers react, you know.

Of course you can work on this when you feel like it, if you're not feeling like it with what's going on in your life. Or scrap the idea altogether, or add whoever you want. Thank you so much for letting me get my thoughts out tho <3 You are valid. You are loved. You are seen.

thank you for the kind wishes, i do appreciate it :) i tried to keep this relatively inclusive as to what exactly reader is suffering from but some stuff may be a lil specific. and don't worry, writing helps distract me so i'm happy to do this <3

SINCLAIR BROTHERS x GN! READER WHO NEEDS THEIR MEDICATION

BO SINCLAIR

You absolutely tried to hide it at first. How could you not?

Bo wasn't exactly... understanding about that kind of thing

I mean, you've seen how he acts with Vincent sometimes and thats his own brother. You don't want to imagine how he'd treat you if he knew...

But you knew the longer you went without your prescriptions, the more difficult things would get

It started small. Your moods would change randomly and very drastically - one extreme to another or you'd have trouble sleeping or oversleeping or - your least favorite - you'd lash out at one of the brothers for seemingly nothing

Bo noticed. He didn't say anything about it because he assumed that, if it was that important, you'd tell him

So when you had a full on meltdown on the kitchen floor one afternoon, he was blindsided

He had no idea it'd gotten this bad and, unfortunately, his first reaction was to get mad at you. He yelled at you, tried to get you to pull yourself together. After all, if you had been suffering, you would've told him! Right...?

It's not until your crying abruptly stops that he realizes he fucked up. You shut down on him, near catatonic as he tries to apologize

He's scared. And when he's scared, he lashes out. You know that. It still doesn't make it hurt less

The brothers agree that there needs to be regular trips made so you can get your medication. Lester offers to take you since he's the one who goes to town the most anyways

You and Bo get into an argument about it once or twice because he doesn't understand why you wouldn't tell him

His heart breaks a little when you tell him you didn't think he'd believe you or would look at you differently for it

He reassures you that no, never. He totally understands the moodswings, the angry episodes you have, those things

Once you're on your meds again, you two promise that if anything major like this happens for either of you, that you can always lean on each other

Bo takes time getting there but he grows to understand you and figure out how best to help you!

VINCENT SINCLAIR

You tell Vincent pretty early on that you need medication

While you don't give him many specifics as to why, you tell him that life will be better for all of you if you keep taking them

At first he's a little apprehensive of letting you go into town so Bo goes with you to pick it up

Not because he doesn't believe you! But because he's scared you're still trying to escape

He wants to know what they're for so he's not above snooping around to read the labels

(You'd tell him if he asked but he didn't know that)

The amount you take surprises him and he tries to think about what you're like off them, in a morbidly curious way

He is, however, insistent that you're taking them consistently and without interruption. Vince makes sure you take them every day and gets on his brother's cases if they give you a hard time about it

They're not cures though. You both find that out the hard way when he finds you trembling in the corner of his shop like you were in freezing weather. The panic attack was violent and took you by surprise but Vincent holds steady

He sits with you, humming soft melodies to try and ground you

When you're ready, he hugs you and you just break down into tears. You'd never wanted him to have to see you like this, you don't want him to think you're some fragile china doll who can't take care of themself

But he would never see you like that. You explain that, while the meds make them less frequent, you're not cured completely

Things will slip through the cracks sometimes and that's okay! He'll always be there when you need him

When he catches you scratching yourself anxiously, he buys you gloves and makes sure you keep your nails short

He catches you picking at your face and gets you small bandages you can place over the spots so you don't obsessively pick

Vincent is always doing little things to try and improve your quality of life, even if you're taking medication!

LESTER SINCLAIR

You don't really tell him but you also don't hide it from him either

He notices you taking pills every morning and every night and is able to put two and two together

Probably asks you what they're for once you two have been dating for a bit but it doesn't really change much in your relationship

He's relatively chill about it though and offers to take you into town to pick up your meds

Likes to hoard pills for you so you never run out - it's an irrational fear of his but you think its sweet

Whenever you get sad, Jonesy and Lester are both right there to comfort you however you need

Sometimes, when the bad thoughts get too loud, Lester catches you staring vacantly into the bathroom mirror or out windows and he worries

One night you wandered out into the woods, barefoot and freezing, just because you felt so out of touch with your own body

Everything felt fake and floaty and you just needed to be out somewhere harsh and grounding and real

You love Lester, you really do, but there, in the forest all alone, all you could think about was how empty you felt

He finds you early the next morning and he was clearly worried sick, still in his sleep clothes with just a flashlight and an anxious Jonesy

Once at home and warm from your shower, he pleads with you to talk to him about it

You finally spill about how you've felt completely dissociated from yourself, even with all the meds you're taking, and it just got to be too much

He gives you a hug and you both agree to try and find other ways to shock you back to reality that don't involve you wandering into the forest at night

Turns out, an ice cube on the back of the neck works wonders to snap you out of whatever stupor you've found yourself in!

Lester is as involved with it as you'd let him. Never ashamed or afraid to lend you a hand with anything!

[diegosumbrella]

My observations from s4 of Umbrella Academy

I dont even wanna talk about the main plot of whatever the fuck that car crash of a season four was, but heres some plot discrepancies I noticed while watching Umbrella Academy.

!! Season four spoilers under the 'see more' !!

- Luther's unnecessary body change

It's stated so clearly in s1 that Luther never gained his body from the marigold or developed it along with his powers. When he was up on that mission on the moon, he had an accident and Pogo had to donate his blood which resulted in Luther having that monkey body we all know and love.

So as Luther drank that said marigold, why would he suddenly gain back the blood donated from pogo and the body that comes along with that..? It's as if the writers themselves forgot why he had that body. Why write in unnecessary body dysphoria for my poor baby?

- Diego's sudden appearance of ab's

Listen. I am the last fucking person to complain about a Diego Hargreeves shirtless scene, where you see his pecs quite literally bounce BUT why did he change so drastically from 'dad bod' to suddenly 'ripped'?

I read an article interview with Steve Blackman and saw a few snippets from a podcast that explained that David (Diego's actor) didn't want to gain weight for the role, which is totally understandable. But if you have an actor who doesn't want to gain weight for this role, why not just keep Diego as fit?

Due to the short six episodes, it's extremely easy to miss how Diego slowly becomes more fit as time progressed. For most, and also myself at first, that fighting scene just looked confusing as fuck. Like two episodes before, Lila was calling you 'tubby' (or whatever the fuck she said), so why do you have abs now?? Where did the dilf diego dad bod disappear to :(

- Allison's beloved Ray just leaving her

I'm not sure if i'm taking this the wrong way completely but... In the scene after Allison had given Klaus the marigold against his wishes, but also to save his life. As Klaus is calling out every member of the family, he mentions how he 'took care of Allison when Ray walked out'.

Like i'm sorry but the fuck do you mean Ray just walked out?? Why did he leave Allison if she had no powers. She'd clearly built a better life for herself and began to change her mindset for the better, compared to s3 she's drastically better.

It's never explained (probably again for the lack of episodes) and it's never even mentioned again. Like does Allison share custody of Claire with Ray? Does Claire even see her father? I have so many questions and once again, a severe lack of answers.

- Klaus breaking his five year sobriety

As much as us as an audience are aware of Klaus' addictive tendencies and his utter thirst for form of drug in the former seasons, but why establish that he's not only been sober for three entire years but he's also now a huge germaphobe just for him to ruin it in five seconds.

The main problem I had with this is the fact none of the siblings, including and most importantly Allison, had zero reaction to this. They weren't upset, angry, disappointed or fuck it even happy. They practically ignored the fact their brothers three year detox went out the window.

Five's ability to time jump

Before I get you all jumping up my arse, i'm fully aware I could discuss how they completely just fucked his character development and his entire personality as a whole for a shitty romance that made absolutely no sense but I'm gonna make a separate post on that because oh boy do I have some shite to say.

ANYWAY.

I can't even go into much detail with this one but why is it that every time five attempts to do his time jumps, he ends up in that subway but when he does it with Lila in that end episode.. he can suddenly just jump..?? normally?? Like why. Why can he now only just time jump as he used too. WHY WAS THE SUBWAY NEEDED FOR OTHER THAN FOR THAT AWFUL FIVE X LILA PLOT????

It's as if the writers couldn't come up with a way to get the brellies into that building with Ben so instead of using critical thinking and writing them breaking in, they just said 'fuck it make him time jump with Lila'. Like no I have questions??

[babbymochiiii]

💋 YUTA AS A ROCKSTAR

➥ rockstar! Yuta x afab! reader

➥warnings: suggestive content

divider credits @gigittamic 🖤

Yuta is obvi lead singer 😎💅🏼

You’re always at every concert cause that’s the perks of having a rockstar bf 😘

VIP PASSES BABBYYYYYYY

Honestly sometimes you’re scared to even be in the crowds cause his fans are fucking feral…like you though yuta was feral— babes they’re 100x worse 💀

Tbh yuta likes to flirt with you while you’re in the crowds or even pull you up on stage…

“W-why am I up here? 😃”

“Gotta show off my baby. 😏”

WILL FUCKING SAY IT INTO THE MIC FOR THE WHOLE CROWD TO HEAR

The fierce blush that takes over your face as you just look at Yuta and the crowd (briefly cause you don't want to look at them for long 💀)

Yuta is literally drinking this reaction from you each time it happens. The first time is happened...lemme tell y'all something; his dressing room? best believe that man has you cornered

"You were so cute up there baby."

THE SMIRK HE HAS UGGHGGHHHH 😫

He's literally cooing at you for being so flustered around him and how it's making him think of all the unholy and nastiest things he wants to do to you.

Y'all literally drink these moments up...like yes you're shy about his very public affection for you but in private? psffffff y'all don't care who's hearing or what they end up walking in on, it's all about you guys and no one else.

One time Mark, the lead guitarist in the band, walked into Yuta’s dressing room on his phone and when he looks up, he sees Yuta two knuckles deep into your dripping cunt.

“Oh— 😳”

MARK HAS NO CLUE WHAT TO DO IN THIS MOMENT

But the way Yuta smirks at the way you locked eyes with Mark and came on the spot, he knew Mark had to join them.

So every time Mark felt frustrated or of any sort, Yuta lets him join y’all.

I feel like Yuta is a pretty easy going boyfriend, but will get possessive asf when he sees some other person trying their shit on you

You eat it up cause it always leads to sex with him

Honestly every time y’all have sex it’s just hot asf

Like the way he speaks to you? Praises you? Literally worshipping the fuck out of you? Oh yeah 😚💅🏼

But don’t get me wrong this man can get pretty bdsm like…not extremely since you’re new to scene but enough that you like where you guys are starting at

Of course people being people, they assume yuta is a bad bf because of the way he is on stage and acts towards the paparazzi (can't blame him they're fucking assholes and i would be throwing hands) but he's literally the opposite of his on stage persona. You and his fans know this. All that matters to Yuta is that you of all people get to know and familiarize yourself with the real him.

Yuta is honestly the best thing that's ever happened to you

As you are the best thing that happened to him

Hope y’all enjoyed this scenario fic! 😚❤️

With much love MWAH MWAH 🥰

— mochi 🖤

[theoriginalbylergod]

I love you ×9

Ok so I am probably not the first person to notice this or point it out since I've only been a byler for like six months... BUT I did maybe go a little crazy about this. So I'm gonna talk about it.

So a few days ago I was thinking about the mlvn endgame argument "well Mike said 'I love you' nine times". And like, first of all, saying "I love you" doesn't undo a year's worth of deliberate lying and miscommunication. That's not how relationships work. Their issues are still very much real and very much not going anywhere because they're not even TRYING to do anything about them. But also... I was thinking: why nine times? Why that number specifically? Was it just random? Is there maybe anything to indicate that nine is significant? Is there maybe a scene in the first episode of s4 that tells us how we should react to the monologue?

So, the DND basketball montage. Great stuff. Amazing foreshadowing. Everyone loved it.

I got to thinking about it. Decided I needed to know what Mike's roll was. I kinda spiraled about it on twitter because I could not see it clearly and I couldn't tell if it was an eight or nine. Desperate times called for desperate measures so I recorded my tablet with my phone and found the perfect frame.

IT'S A NINE

CLEAR AS DAY! IT'S A NINE! GREATEST DAY OF MY LIFE!!

Anyway, I don't know how DND works. I don't know why this roll evoked the reaction it did from the party - most significantly, Mike's very disgruntled reaction (I don't mean The Party™ I just mean literally the party that is playing this campaign) I genuinely don't know what the fuck is going on in this game. But what I do know is they wanted us to associate this roll with failure. That's why it corresponds with a missed basket in the basketball game. That's why Eddie gets this ooo that sucks for you guys look on his face. That's why we hear a chorus of "nooo" from the party. That's why Mike says "no no no" and looks extremely upset. I don't know anything about DND, but I can read context clues.

So I'm not going to try to understand what's going on in the game, I'm just gonna go off what I think they wanted us to subconsciously pick up on.

So they show us all of this. They associate Mike with the number nine in the first episode and then that number shows up AGAIN in the last episode.

The monologue cannot be associated with anything but failure. Whether that be mlvns failing relationship, or their very real failure to save Max (at least before El revived her), and their failure to save Hawkins. The monologue does not stand apart from that. It is completely interwoven with these failures. If you have average media literacy, you know that. Even before I was aware of just how important byler is to this entire story, before I was aware that they've been setting up byler endgame since day one, you would never catch me thinking that the monologue was supposed to be received positively by the audience. You would never catch me saying mlvns love saved the world. (Although that's because I genuinely forgot about mlvn a few weeks after I watched s4). I think I received the monologue in the way it was intended to be received. I didn't fully understand it, or why they would execute it the way they did, but I still received it in the way I believe it was intended to be.

So I know the general agreement among bylers is that the monologue kinda sealed the deal for mlvn bones. Like I'm not saying anything new really. But I genuinely do think that Mike's roll in episode one, the reactions to it, and the missed shot it corresponds with were meant to foreshadow the monologue and how they wanted the audience to receive it.

This is fiction, everything means something. Everything is thought of. The timer (and maybe scores, I genuinely can't remember) in the basketball game had significance. Other rolls in the DND game had significance. Why would that be any different for Mike? Especially when his roll was a nine and that number shows up for him again when he says "I love you" nine times. And both of these things are associated with failure.

Not that we need any other reason to interpret the monologue as a less than good thing. It's just the way that it is, it's pretty easy to figure out how they wanted us to take it. But they still did give us a hint. I think it's really cool.

[crushoncaleb]

Steamy

Pairing

Al-haitham x reader x Kaveh

Smut

18+ only please!

Word count

5.2k

Content warnings

Polyamory, shower sex, vaginal penetration, anal penetration, double penetration, degradation, Al-haitham, creampies, reader gets slapped once but relatively gently.

Summary

Your boyfriend lets something about his old relationship with his hot roommate slip during your shower together, you see the potential.

"Gods, why are you trying to wash yourself in an active volcano," Al-haitham hisses as he immediately steps back out from under the stream of admittedly extremely hot water.

You'd been together with the scribe turned grand sage for a while now. Which means it was no surprise for him to find you in his shower and no surprise for you to find him stepping in to join you. What did come as a surprise to him though was the sheer temperature of your relaxing little shower.

You giggle. "Sorry baby but a nice shower isn't nice if it doesn't feel like you're burning your filth and sins off your body y'know?" He shakes his head, well aware that you'd keep this going if he denied, but too stubborn to just agree with you.

"Why does every other person in this house try to match the sun's temperature in their showers." He's complaining but it catches your attention anyway. He raises an eyebrow at the sly grin on your face, "what?"

"How come you know how hot Kaveh likes to shower?" You wiggle your eyebrows at him. You swear you can see him flush, although with the steam and sweltering heat in the room it is a bit hard to tell.

"We're roommates, of course I would know that," he says, deadpanning, although in a slight fit of nervousness he adds "it's not as if you need to shower together to know that."

"Ooooh but baby, I'M not the one who said you showered together." You enjoyed mentally poking and prodding at him like this on the best of days but today even more so. The revelation about your boyfriend and his heartthrob roommate making you giddy.

He reached out turning the heat of your shower down a bit before finally stepping in to actually join you. Immediately pushing you up against the tiled shower wall. "I know you enjoy riling me up like this but do you really want to talk about Kaveh right now?" he speaks, nice and low. The voice he always uses when trying to make you pliant before diving into a kiss.

You weren't quite done yet though. You hum as you pull away from him. "I don't know, judging by your body's reaction, you're enjoying talking about him even more than I am." You tease, rubbing your thigh against his arousal. You bring your mouth close to his ear and whisper, "tell me Al-haitham, did you and dear Kaveh use to fuck before I came around? Is that why the two of you can't go 5 minutes without bickering?"

You were mostly still teasing but you couldn't help but actually be curious. HAD they been intimate together? And if so was it just convenience, or were there feelings involved? Your mind started racing and to your surprise what it ended up on was not a fit of jealousy and insecurity at your boyfriend having been with one of the most attractive people you knew. It felt like a golden opportunity instead.

Al-haitham's face was undeniably red now, although if you'd mention it he'd blame the heat. "I- what." He took a second to recompose himself before looking you in the eye and asking earnestly. "Would that bother you?" You felt you heart skip a beat at his concern, here you had been almost bullying him and he's checking in on you so sweetly.

"It wouldn't as long as you're not doing anything with him behind my back, which I know you would never, I'm good." You let your hand softly stroke his face, reveling in him when he leans into you. "...Sooo did you?"

His eyes flit away from yours "...yes," he sighs. "We had a period where we were something, not quite in a relationship but not just friends with benefits either." The spicy shower he'd been planning to take with you had turned sweet, you were now washing his hair for him as the two of you spoke.

"Do you still have feelings for him?" You feel him stiffen up at your question and you gently rub his shoulders in response. "I'm not accusing you of anything, we're just talking, yeah?" He doesn't quite relax, but he leans back into you and answers.

"It wouldn't matter if I did, he's set his sights elsewhere." The last part of his sentence sounded exasperated, a tone he frequently used when the subject turns to Kaveh. "He's actually opened up about the crush he's been nursing on YOU recently."

This takes you by surprise, your body language shows it and Al-haitham is quick to comfort you. "He promised me he won't act on it, and I can promise to you that he's still a decent guy (y/n). He won't just try to steal you from me."

You blinked, your mind working overtime. "Wait a second." Your hand came to you chin in an exaggerated thinking pose.

"So you say Kaveh likes me?" He nods slowly, trying to follow your train of thought. "You like Kaveh," he hesitates but when you send him a pointed look he resigns and nods. "Kaveh DEFINITELY still likes you, don't bother trying to deny it, you might not see it but I'M not blind." Al-haitham doesn't even bother to fight it, yet he's barely nodding along anymore either.

"(Y/n), are you actually going to go there?" He seems to have caught on and you shrug.

"And I kinda like Kaveh too," you confirm.

"I see, then, how would we go about this? Do we just invite him in?" he asks, and you giggle, happy that your boyfriend seems on board. "How about we ask him into our next shower? He seems to enjoy it hot too right?" You wink at him.

The rest of the shower is nice, a bit cold for your liking but Al-haitham promised you 'the hottest shower of your life' tomorrow and you're not even entirely sure if he was talking about the temperature but you went along with it either way. The night brought along some heavy petting but no further action as both of you were far too excited about the day to come.

The next day goes by at a snail's pace, you were never good at waiting but it did give you the time to consider how you would handle this. Al-haitham was at work and so was Kaveh, you'd decided you'd make a little show of inviting Al-haitham into a shower and then have him invite Kaveh.

You though that considering the two of them have already had sex before it might seem more like a genuine offer coming from him.

And so the two came back from work, exchanging their regular harsh sounding words, over some nonsense no doubt. You made haste on your way over, excitement getting the better of you as you launched yourself into your boyfriend.

"You're back!" You announced, though they were already quite aware of the fact. Something Al-haitham was probably about to tell you when Kaveh interrupted him.

"You seem to be in a good mood, special occasion?" He smiled at you and combined with the knowledge of his little crush on you, the attention flustered you.

"A little bit, I was waiting for you guys to come home because I was going to take a nice long shower but the bathroom gets so lonely." You fake pout as your little show begins. You admit, you put it on a bit thick as you drape yourself across your boyfriend. Though the blush on Kaveh's face as he averts his eyes, mind wandering no doubt, makes it worth it.

"Needy as always I see," comes Al-haitham's reply "go get the water temperature right." The look on his face makes his intentions clear to you, he plans on being the one to ask Kaveh as well.

"Oh? Letting me decide the temperature?" You tease, before shooting Kaveh a wink "things are about to get steamy." You turn and leave before you can see their reaction, mostly to avoid seeing Al-haitham roll his eyes at you again.

You just barely got the shower running before you hear shouting. Their conversation had the cadence of their usual bickering just a lot louder. You quickly made your way to them, running into Al-haitham in the hallway.

"He doesn't believe me, thinks I'm playing a stupid prank on him," Al-haitham speaks casually, as if it doesn't bother him but luckily you know him better than that.

You pat his shoulder. "Don't worry, he's just being wary. I'm sure he doesn't really believe you'd do that but he was just caught off guard," you reassure the man who, in your eyes, was practically sulking in front of you.

"I got this!" You say, more to yourself than to Al-haitham, as you walk past him towards the blond who was still muttering to himself.

Before you could say anything his eyes shot to you and he started talking exasperatedly. "(y/n)! You would not BELIEVE the stupid joke your boyfriend just tried to pull on me." He was fuming and you couldn't even get a word in before he continued, "I think it's frankly disrespectful not only to me but to you as well, you should scold him for this! I already did but he needs to hear it at least twice!"

You laugh, he gets worked up so easy whenever your boyfriend is involved. You really don't know how you'd never guessed their history before, looking back now. "Kaveh," you get his attention, squeezing his shoulder for good measure "please join us in the shower?"

"A-are you playing along with his sick joke?" He looks almost heartbroken and you can't stand it. You shake your head quickly before putting your hands on his cheeks and pulling him in, pressing a sweet kiss to his lips which seems to stun him into silence.

"Haitham and I got to talking when he mentioned you and I both liked our showers hot," you speak gently, not wanting to hurt the soft-hearted blonde any further. "We connected some dots and figured out we both liked you, and you liked both of us."

Kaveh was blinking rapidly, clearly trying to catch up to the situation, which to him was dizzying. He'd just gotten kissed by his crush, his ex and best friend's girlfriend.

"Look Kaveh, I promise Al-haitham wasn't joking and neither am I, we all have some kind of feelings for eachother and although we'd have to work it all out together. We're willing to try if you are." Your hand was now gently stroking his cheek as he processed your offer.

His hand caught yours and for a second you're anxiously expecting rejection, however he brings your hand to his mouth and presses a chaste kiss to it "I'll admit I've dreamed of this, so when Al-haitham asked it sounded too good to be true."

This time, his hand on the nape of your neck is what pulls you into a kiss, a far less gentle one than before that has you almost panting when you pull away. Kaveh grins at you as he pulls you along towards Al-haitham's huge bathroom. "Think he can handle our heat?"

You arrive at the bathroom giggling, Kaveh reverting to his natural charm now that his reason for anxiety was gone. Al-haitham doesn't try to hide the small smile on his face, a moment you will cherish, before he speaks, "Finally come to your senses Kaveh? I was beginning to think you'd actually be stupid enough to think we would both joke about this."

Not one to take Al-haitham's remarks Kaveh immediately strikes back, "There's a reason people expect things like that from you Al-haitham, maybe if you were more in touch with the people around you, you'd-" you interrupt him by throwing you shirt over his head. Their bickering was cute, but you'd been waiting for this long enough and you'd be lying through your teeth if you said you weren't dying to see Kaveh naked.

As he lifted your shirt off his head you could see he was practically glowing, his face a bright red that had Al-haitham suppressing a chuckle and you nearly cooing at how cute the blond was. His eyes met yours before they drifted down, starting to take in your body as Al-haitham's hands softly started rubbing up and down your waist.

Kaveh's pupils were fully blown and you were sure they only mirrored your own as Al-haitham started speaking in that low tone again, "see this Kaveh? This is what you've been missing out on." His hands push your bra below your chest, making your tits spill out before he starts to feel them up. One of his hands was now rolling a nipple between his fingers as the other slipped down, hooking on the hem of your panties. You decided not to suppress your whines, desperate to show Kaveh everything.

He practically whimpered before surging forward, his hands joining Al-haitham in undressing you in the most sensual way you'd ever been undressed. Meanwhile his lips pressed against Al-haitham's and your heart picked up the pace at seeing the two together.

As Kaveh's fingers made contact with your slit you both moaned simultaneously. Al-haitham pulled back to remove his shirt and you pulled on Kaveh's as he speaks, "such a good girl for us, so wet already." His fingers glide over your clit and you almost double over at how light and electrifying how touches are. Just like his words, a stark contrast to Al-haitham.

You're pulling at Kaveh's pants now as he pushes a finger in, Al-haitham turns on the shower behind you but even the sound of the water doesn't hide the needy moan you let out. "Almost baby, we got you, don't worry you'll have all of us," Kaveh responds to your sounds gently and for a second you think about how he's not just a contrast to Al-haitham's harsh words, they complement eachother perfectly.

Then the scribe is pulling you out of your thoughts and backwards into the shower by your hips. Kaveh quickly shrugs off his underwear before following.

Your eyes glide over his body and you don't try to hide the hunger beneath it, making the blonde shiver despite the scorching shower he just stepped into. He's big, bigger than Al-haitham and you wonder if that's why he'd being so gentle. There's no way you'd be able to take THAT rough from the get-go.

Al-haithams hands are on your heat, one playing with you throbbing clit as the other presses two fingers into you hole, beginning to stretch you out for them. "I didn't think it possible but your pussy might be hotter than this shower." He kisses down your neck and you can feel his smirk on your skin as he says, "you're about as wet though."

Kaveh finally reaches you and his mouth is on yours instantly, the kiss down right debauched as his hand pulls one of your legs over his hip making you balance on the other one before Al-haitham presses into you from behind. You were leaning on the two men completely now, and there was nowhere you'd rather be at the moment.

"Please baby, grind that sweet pussy on my cock. I know you can do it, please just let me feel you," Kaveh whispers in your ear and you do as he asks, not being able to refuse him when he begs you like that.

Al-haitham's hand slaps you ass firmly. "Don't forget about me," he mumbles from where his teeth are pinching at your neck, and how could you when his hand on your jaw makes you face him. His kisses are different from Kaveh's, less desperation and more calculated intent to turn you on further, their passion rivaled eachother despite the difference.

Kaveh's cock was nestled firmly between your folds now, his head nudging your clit every movement you made so when Al-haitham takes control over the movements your hips make, your eyes roll back.

"Oh my god, I need to feel her," Kaveh groans as Al-haitham pushes you into him again "need to feel you around me baby." His voice softened the second he addressed you and it made you melt, the softness of it all despite the meaning of his words.

Al-haitham chuckled. "How about it little slut? Should I lift you onto his cock? Why am I even asking, I know what you need." His degrading side was coming out, probably feeling like Kaveh was spoiling you too much and the difference between them was giving you whiplash.

He doesn't ask again before he tilts your hips towards Kaveh's tip, the blond licks his lips as he looks at the man beside you. "You just gonna serve her up to me like this? Gonna put our sweet girl onto my cock? Go on, make her take all of me."

Al-haitham is not usually one to take orders but maybe that's exclusive to you because the second the words leave Kaveh's lips you're being brought down on him. It stretches you beyond belief, if Al-haitham was big then Kaveh was massive and you were loving it.

"Taking me so well," Kaveh moans in your ear, in the other Al-haitham whispers, "like the born slut you are, look at how you're sucking him in." His hand slipping between your bodies, rubbing tight circles on your clit.

You have to stop yourself from cumming right then and there but when you see Al-haitham's other hand run down Kaveh's back towards his puckered hole,  you find it near impossible to hold back and when Kaveh jolts inside you as Al-haitham presses a finger into him, you finally let go.

You're almost crying as you cream Kaveh's cock, it seems way too soon for it to feel this intense but the heat is getting to you. Kaveh is looking at you with his mouth dropped open, reverently, as he keeps up his deep thrusts inside you. Al-haitham bites down on your shoulder possesively, practically promising to ruin you further tonight.

"Oh baby, getting so tight. Creaming my cock so well. Wanna fill you up baby, been so good, you deserve my cum," Kaveh praises you to heaven and back, his hands caressing your face and despite just cumming, it does things to you.

"Please Kaveh." You barely recognize your own voice as you beg for his cum, "I want it in me, need you". The effect is instant, his jaw going slack as he grinds in deep leaving behind a thick load of his seed.

He thrusts into you gently a few more times before Al-haitam speaks up, "you're just going to keep fucking your cum into her? Or can I finally get my dick wet?" He gets so crass like this but you can't deny you like it. Kaveh opens his mouth, no doubt to argue but Al-haitham is one step ahead. "Not THAT kind of wet".

Kaveh gives you another deep kiss as he slowly pulls his cock out, the cum he'd been fucking deeper seeping out along with it causing the man to groan at the sight. "Baby, you look so pretty all filled with me," he says as he pulls away from your lips. Reaching his fingers out to push some of it back into you but Al-haitham catches them and brings them to his mouth. Both you and Kaveh look on mesmerized as he begins sucking on them, drool spreading everywhere before he brings them down to your ass.

"It's my turn now so why don't you make yourself useful for once and get her ready to be properly shared." The words are meant for Kaveh but he's turned you around and is staring into your eyes while he says them. A shiver runs down your back as you get what he means.

The smirk on his face isn't wide by any means, always one for the more subtle facial expressions, but the sentiment behind it was clear. "You've been enjoying yourself haven't you?" he says as he leans down into your neck to leave his mark. The nip of his teeth makes a shiver run down your back. Just as you were about to answer him, knowing your boyfriend's dominant streak meant he didn't like being ignored, Kaveh's fingers made contact with your ass. Your answer changed into a strangled gasp as Kaveh works his index finger into you.

Luckily Al-haitham seems to be in a forgiving mood. "Awe, is my little slut already fucked too dumb to answer? You've only taken one of us so far, don't think we're even near done yet," He says while he nudges his cock towards your pussy, still wet with Kaveh's cum. "It's time you finally use that body of yours to satisfy me, been making me wait for it for too long." He shoves his cock all the way in on his first thrust, trusting the sheer amount of cum to provide plenty lubrication.

With Al-haitham's rough treatment melting your brain you almost didn't notice Kaveh's soothing actions. While one of his hands was busy prepping you, the other was practically petting you. His motions so gentle your body relaxed into every single one of his touches. The two men were in complete control over you now.

"Doing so well baby, you can take it," Kaveh speaks near your ear as he pushes a third finger in.

"Yeah, you heard him princess. You can take it." The same words sounded so different from Al-haitham's mouth but truth be told, you barely registered either of them.

Al-haitham might not have been as sweet to you as Kaveh but the passion was definitely there and he knows his way around your body. You felt yourself clench around him as his fingers started to circle your clit. "Gonna cum? Better keep it in slut, we're not stopping until WE'RE done, you know that." You knew you could tap out at any given moment despite what he was saying, but not a bone in your body considered it. Even as your body shook during your orgasm, not even as it shivered from overstimulation.

"Haitham, give her a second. I'm about to put it in." if you'd been any more present you'd have scolded Kaveh for speaking about you as if you weren't there but you honestly were barely even sure if you were anymore.

Luckily Al-haitham really did seem to take orders from Kaveh as he stopped his rough thrusts for a moment. You panted and whimpered in his neck, pussy still spasming from the climax he never fully allowed you to stop having. His hands on you turned gentle for a second, pulling you away from his neck a bit, eyes on your partially focused ones as he asked, "are you still okay? Need an actual break?"

"Nooo, I'm okay. Please keep going, everything feels so good." Despite the clear struggle to put your thoughts into words and the slight slur to your them, he took your answer to heart. Immediately diving into a passionate kiss.

You don't know if he had meant to distract you from Kaveh but the next thing you registered was the thick head of his cock poking around your tight hole. You suppress the slight anxiety you're feeling, both men doing their all to keep you calm as the blond begins to push into you slowly.

"Baby, you gotta relax a bit." You're not entirely sure which one of the two was speaking but it was Al-haitham's thumb that gently moved over your bottom lip. You didn't even know when you started biting down on it but you're glad Al-haitham noticed before you bit too hard.

"Shhhh, almost there pretty thing. You're doing so well for us." This time you know it's Kaveh, he's practically speaking into your neck now, "sooooo good for us."

You feel him buck up into you further and another high-pitched whine leaves you. The pressure of both of them at once was unlike anything you'd ever felt before. Sure you'd taken Al-haitham before while wearing a buttplug but it couldn't even begin to compare to this.

"Oh my god, I think I'm gonna cum. It's just so warm." The end of Kaveh's sentence sounded more like a moan than anything else and you could feel him lean more of his body weight into you as he finally bottomed out.

Al-haitham's arm shot up at Kaveh's words, slender fingers tangling into the other's hair. "Not yet," the tone of his voice was deeper than you'd ever heard from him before "I know you're a needy bitch but you can hold out for a bit." He pulled on Kaveh's hair at the degrading words and you could feel both of their cocks twitch inside you.

You'd always known they'd have amazing chemistry based on all their bickering but being sandwiched between them as they started making out was really something else. Paired with Al-haitham's deep grinding and Kaveh's shallow thrusting, the sight of it pushed you over the edge once more.

Your eyes rolled back and you bite down on Al-haitham's shoulder to keep yourself together as your body convulses wildly. The amount of times they've made you cum is starting to make you feel a bit sore but you refuse to be the one to end this.

Kaveh is groaning in your ear again as he drives his cock in and out of you slowly "You're the best thing I've ever felt (y/n)," he takes a good look at your face before continuing "are you keeping up, angel? Need me to carry you?"

"Yes Kaveh, please," you say, voice sounding like a whimper. He hums in your ear appreciatively while his hands slide down your thighs to lift you up.

"I love it when you say my name like that baby, sound so pretty when you're begging," Kaveh whispers to you, though you're sure Al-haitham can hear judging by the pull at the corner of his lips.

Both of them keep going until the squelching sounds are louder than the water, at that point Kaveh seems to start struggling. He's making animalistic sounds now and it's giving Al-haitham a new reason to tease him.

"You sound like you're absolutely pussy-whipped." The intention behind his words were clear but Kaveh was too far gone to realize, he nodded into your neck in response.

"Fuuuuuck, yeah I am," he speaks as he pushes in hard, his strength shoving Al-haitham into the wall. The new position allowing the blond to fuck you into him.

You're starting to slip when Al-haitham pulls you back with a soft slap to the face. He's always gentle when he does but his words never sound like it. "Stay with us, I'm not done with you yet."

"Don't be mean to her Haitham, she's doing so damn well for us." Kaveh's reply sounds labored, his breath coming through hard as he's practically panting the words out.

"Don't get too cocky there Kaveh, I'll put you in your place next time. We'll see if you take me as well as she does," Al-haitham scolds, though the promise behind the words is not lost on Kaveh and you feel his cock twitch in response.

Your end is nearing fast and the sexy sounds coming from both of them are doing nothing to slow it down. "Please I'm gonna- I don't know if I can." You don't know who you're addressing but you feel both their hands caress your face the second the words leave you.

"You can." Al-haitham's reply is short and should not be as comforting to you as it is but with Kaveh's addition of "We got you." it's perfect and you let yourself fall over the edge again.

The next few seconds are blurry, but when the world gets sharp again you realize they both stopped. You're secretly grateful because as much as you were enjoying yourself, you really weren't sure how much longer you could take any of it.

You feel Al-haitham pull out and the water immediately washes away the cum that leaks out along with him. You realize Kaveh had pulled out sometime during your little moment and he was now turning you around in his arms, hugging you into his chest practically singing praise into your ears.

"Guys, we should leave the shower now." Al-haitham's voice comes from close behind you, and is met with disapproving whines from both you and Kaveh. "Be my guest, just know that I'm not babying either of you when you get sick from the cold water," He continues, combing his hand through your hair once before leaving the shower on his own.

"Cold?" You question, not noticing just how much warm water you guys had used up. The shower had gradually turned icy.

"Yeah, cold. Our body heat and the distraction must have kept us from noticing the gradual change," came Al-haitham's reply from somewhere outside of the shower.

"there's no way we didn't notice that, it's ice cold now! You must've just changed it!" Kaveh accuses Al-haitham, who in turn merely rolls his eyes before reaching back into the shower and turning the water off.

"Why would I? Some of us aren't desperate enough for attention to act out like that Kaveh," Al-haitham spoke pointedly as he handed Kaveh a towel.

Kaveh scoffed but didn't argue further as he turned to you again, beginning to dry you off. "Do you need anything? I could run you a bath? Or just get you something to clean up with? Do you want any snacks? You've earned them," he offered instead.

Al-haitham wasn't great at aftercare but he'd always been sufficient, knowing how to bring you down from your high gently. Which is why you didn't know how to react when the prince of aftercare himself, started pulling out snacks from places you hadn't even known had been in the house.

A giggle escaped you as Kaveh popped a candy he'd just unwrapped for you into your mouth. "How long have you been hiding all this in my bathroom?" Al-haitham sounded unimpressed but got shut up when the grinning blond booped him on the nose before giving him a sweet kiss.

"You'd be surprised at how many stashes I have around here, I can keep all of us supplied for weeks," he replies his grin now cheeky, knowing the scribe wouldn't give him any shit if he's sharing with you.

"You're lucky she likes her sweets as much as you," Al-haitham states, moving to get dressed.

"Andddd, you're lucky we both like our showers hot," you add.

"I know, I'm just the luckiest," Kaveh says, looking at the two of you fondly.

Later that night the three of you are crammed into Al-haitham's bed since it was the largest (technically his was the same size as Kaveh's but the latter had so many blankets and pillows it takes up at least a quarter of the space). The two men almost instantly fall asleep, Kaveh hugging your arm to his chest as Al-haitham spoons him.

You always knew there was more to their arguing but seeing them at peace together like this warmed your heart, looking back down at them you thanked whatever God was out there that you and Kaveh liked the same type of showers.

I lost three rounds of editing on this fic because of tumblr shenanigans so if you spot any mistakes please cut me some slack I probably had them fixed at one point.

Trying to see if it'll let me post without any media, if it does I'll try to update it from my laptop tomorrow for ✨️aesthetic✨️ reasons.

(If this goes through the ✨️aesthetic✨️ edit is done)

All in all, I hope you guys enjoyed!

[literallygwenandjinx]

i don't usually post serious things on my blog, but right now i feel that i have to.

as some of you may know, the worst fire in LA history is currently going on. thousands of structures have been erased, over 180,000 people were forced to evacuate, 3 of my friends have lost their houses, one of my favorite restaurants is gone, my old house burned down, my parents know over 30+ people who have also been displaced, and much much more. my school has been canceled for the next week because of it's close proximity to the fire, as well as the fact that there are almost 50 students who live in the palisades that have lost their homes/been evacuated. homecoming was supposed to be tomorrow night but it's been rescheduled too. what's happening right now is so heartbreaking and i've been worried sick these last few days.

one thing that's really pissed me off is the media's reaction to the fires. i've seen people say things like "karma", and "let it burn", which is absolutely fucking disgusting. people are literally watching their entire neighborhood be destroyed and you can't even bother to show a little sympathy?? i've also seen people be like "oh well people who live in the palisades are rich- they can just rebuild", which is not entirely true, and i'll explain why;

not everybody who lives in the palisades is rich, i know because i've had a lot of friends and family who lived there and weren't rich in the slightest. yes, palisades is primarily known for being where many celebrities and wealthy people live, but that doesn't mean EVERYONE who lives there is wealthy. there are some mansions, but most houses in the palisades are fairly normal-looking. in fact, lots of houses in the palisades have been passed on from generation to generation and were bought when the house was much cheaper and not worth what it is now. (i'm not making all of this up, i've talked to people who live in that area and they've all confirmed this.)

and lets not forget the fact that even if many of these people are rich, they are still dealing with the loss of their houses and neighborhoods, i'm sure if something like this happened to you, you would be as devastated as they are. fire doesn't discriminate, it doesn't care whether you're wealthy or not, so instead of being a dick, try to be sympathetic.

secondly, i've noticed how on pretty much every video addressing the fires or showing people what's happening- a lot of the comments are saying things like; "oh well what about palestine?", or "this happens in palestine every day, free palestine", "this is nothing compared to palestine", etc.. genuinely, shut the fuck up. this isn't about palestine, this is about los angeles. not every tragedy that goes on in the world has to do with palestine, so stop trying to make this about them. am i saying that what's going on in palestine doesn't matter? absolutely not. what's going on in palestine is downright horrific and it definitely needs to be talked about, but what's going on in LA is a COMPLETELY different story and is affecting innocent people as well. you can be sympathetic towards both tragedies, but please don't compare them or say one is worse than the other, it's extremely disrespectful towards the victims and is honestly really insensitive.

these fires have spread so much in such a short period of time and there has been 0% containment so far.. i hate seeing my city like this. if you or your loved ones have been affected by the fires, my heart goes out to you. just know i and many others are here for you, and we see you. if you know someone who's had to evacuate or has lost their home, please try your best to show sympathy. try to be there for them, try helping in any way you can, if you know people who live in LA, reach out to them to see if they're alright, and lastly, please try to spread awareness. i couldn't find many donation links, but i did find this. it's to help the firefighters who are working day and night to stop this, so if you can, please donate.

if you've read up until here, thank you. i myself have not lost my house yet but i'm praying for everyone who has or is at risk, stay strong. i'm going on a hiatus for a bit until i'm less anxious, stay safe and take care everyone 🫶

[ai-the-broccoli]

I DIDN'T NOTICE YOU RB'D THE DEATH NOTE ASK MEME uhhh. 23 and 24 maybe?

ooooh thanks!!!

23. what was your favorite moment and why?

"oooh that's a very hard question" ...is what I might've said, if this wasn't the light yagami animanga series and light yagami makes me insane. uhhh. I do have several though, if that's allowed.

(update: when I said "several" I meant uh. a lot apparently. whoops)

favourite line / favourite moment in a "holy wow this is amazing thematically": the. y'know. "Tell me, Light, from the moment you were born, have you ever told the truth?" line in the anime rain scene. yeah. holy fuck that is amazing because I LOVE that sort of thing. as far as character traits go, there's like nothing I love more than characters that are liars who lie lyingly (multiple types of this apply). it's truly, truly the best.

favourite moments based on what I repeatedly rewatched immediately following my first watch of the anime: there are, uh. three (in no particular order)

light goes home from the entrance ceremony, incredibly stone-faced (like 😐) the entire way -> gets home, gets up the stairs, opens the door, shuts the door, sits down on his chair, suddenly starts shaking -> blows up "Dammit! He got me! Damn L! I have never been so humiliated in my life!" (even Ryuk comments internally that he's never seen him lose his composure so much) -> suddenly laughs and calms down talking about how it's a battle of wits now and he'll make L trust him and kill him, with his own hands if necessary. i rewatched this several times in a row which was definitely very normal of me.

look at him. grumpy but in like an extremely restrained way (his face is even hidden). until it breaks completely in the next page lol

the last episode. light trying so hard not to laugh/smirk in the warehouse, then he reveals himself as kira (a lot of laughing), and he loses and falls pathetically, shouting for kiyomi and mikami and misa after matsuda shoots him, and then runs in the beautiful sunset, passing his younger high school self by, and seeing a vision of L before he dies on the stairs. all this is great and i did an immediate rewatch of this episode after finishing it

the Relight scene where Light laughs on top of L's grave soil. it's conceptually fucked up in an amazing way that really really appeals to me. murder and grave desecration are really romantic/beautiful/erotic on principle.

as you can see I am very normal. as you can see I am a very normal Light Yagami fan. one of those two statements may be unironically true, but the two statements inherently cannot go together. anyway this particular selection of scenes totally doesn't actually say anything about me right but anyway I'm right those are totally the best please torture light some more everyone

favourite moments I didn't immediately repeatedly rewatch/reread like that but are still my absolute top favourites:

The entire first episode because DAMN did it hook me completely very, very fast. I did NOT know there was going to be Faustian contract + god complex&general big ego + everything else in one in this little and very infamous character known as "Light Yagami". my expectations were blown instantly and I got obsessed with DN right away

L and Light declaring war on each other over the live broadcast and L asking and taunting Light/Kira to kill him. amazing. it was really... gay. sorry I can't think of a better word lmfao

L's death scene oh my god. GOD I loved (and was really really amazed/impressed by by) Light rushing to him at once and basically lying on top of him for a second, so that he will die in his arms. GOD. it is SO. like yeah this is literally my favourite sort of thing holy shit it is amazing (it's to gloat to him and to declare victory before his death, and it's to pretend to the Task Force too, and yet it seemed like such an instinctual reaction really that I think his first instinct really IS to hold him in his arms before he dies. this is really good). and the dramatic performance afterwards. I love it

on a COMPLETELY different note. JESUS CHRIST I love Soichiro's death scene actually. because holy fuck the multi-layered irony. I really love it. actually I think I wrote about that scene long before I even really wrote anything else about DN. alright here:

idk if I still 100% agree with my initial impression but it should still overall hold and MAN. I definitely loved it (<- fan of irony) (<- extremely, extremely normal Light Yagami fan) (<- fan of Soichiro also, to a lesser extent)

favourite moment that gave me a lot of thoughts when I'm reading the manga: (even though I already first watched the anime and this stuff is also in the anime)

the moment where Rem is like "okay I will kill L" and Light, person who has been plotting this exact murder for ages, is like. Oh shit. he'll die...? which is. man. Light sure is Light

like look at his face here!

favourite manga-exclusive moments:

Light not considering killing Sayu. Light asking Soichiro to promise him to come back alive with Sayu. that scene afterwards where Soichiro is at home thinking he should die. (at least I think those weren't in the anime?)

the manga ending is also good

I like that the manga tells us he lost weight and has nightmares due to using the death note. (it possibly has happened to anime light too but we don't get to see it)

not a "favorite moment" exactly, but while the scene is beautiful I don't like Misa dying in the end despite how much I adore everything else in that episode, so I like that Misa doesn't canonically die like that in the manga

favourite anime-exclusive moments:

rain scene and footwashing scene yes obviously

everything about Light being "haunted" after L's death. aside from the aforementioned Light dying scene, I really like the anime

I love the anime ending too

also hmm this might be a less popular opinion, but personally I also love some of anime Light's characterization tidbits that differs from the manga (e.g. first episode). I would say it's because it's maybe very slightly more relatable for me but that probably sounds wack lmao so

favourite moments based on how comedic I find them: (not including ones I already included in other sections) DN is such an amazing comedy I'm not even kidding

the whole handcuffs thing oh my god. homophobic misa moment. I didn't think she'd actually call him gay, but there it was. also just fken. buddy. L??????? why and how and in what world was there an absolute need for this totally normal, totally appropriate, absolutely most safe and most ideal method of interrogating criminals. I was laughing because god. that's not even. yeah okay I'm happy with it but LMFAO YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS. and Light just easily went along with it

the... the... first date scene. I was like oh my god c'MON you two. I didn't think something like this would be so like this in the actual canon manga. first date where Misa is being thirdwheeled while Light and L sit together chained together and then they focus all energy on talking to each other and then they get into a fist fight (date activity) all over the room. combined with the later dunking on matsuda. this is LITERALLY how a fucking sitcom goes at this point.

the anime's footwashing also. not the scene itself necessarily but just the fact that it fucking exists between lawlight and is. Like THAT????? lmfao like what the hell

ALSO the. fken. Matsuda fake death scene lmfao it was so wack in retrospect

live Ryuk reactions + "hey Light can we play Mario Golf? can we play Mario Golf Light? come on let's play a match of Mario Golf"

man I can't even include all of it here because Light Yagami is so entertaining to me in 85%+ of all the scenes she appears in in one way or another like his existence itself is peak entertainment to me. it's entertaining when Light is humiliated and it's entertaining when he's succeeding. and like I mean, he's the protagonist of the whole manga / show, and I mean I can't list every moment in the series can I. lmao

favourite moments that don't have light yagami in it: I'm sorry everyone else but I am especially obsessed with light. as you can see. however I love many other characters too

Kiyomisa dinner kiyomisa fighting !!!

(technically this includes light but) matsuda shooting light

misa being unexpectedly smart (compared to her wider reputation) (the higuchi car scene! and others) is also nice

idk if it makes sense but. the scene where Rem and Misa mention the way a Shinigami can die, and Misa admits to thinking about killing Rem like it's. just very Neat. I like the vibes here and Misa is very beautiful (related to the dialogue about love and killing. yeah)

also!! I love the meronia moments

and then I recently got myself into soichello so actually yeah. the soichiro mello scenes too. very good

24. any headcanons you want to share?

uhhhhhhhhhhh hmmm. man what's a headcanon I haven't properly shared on tumblr before, and also isn't like a take that is shared and often discussed by tons of people around here already?

... fine okay let's do this finally.

neurodivergence + mental illnesses headcanons

[disclaimer: please read this post first. if you disagree, you can skip over this and skip to the next section!]

aside from OCD and autism, imo Light has NPD with some ASPD traits, and also bipolar. this is because the way his mental illnesses are is like. I feel represented lol. (not as in I have every one of those things I listed, but I probably have some/most of them, and the combinations are interesting). even though this is unfortunately Light Yagami. but I really like him for that too tbh because man. I don't get to see that stuff often. (like idk how to explain it. even though I'd never even remotely pull that kinda stuff because of differences in personalities, values, background, abilities, and manifestation and degree of symptoms, etc. however some of his mannerisms sometimes feel right on point e.g. I feel like the way he is like sometimes gives me depression + hypomanic/manic vibes, in a way where I can see myself in him if it makes sense lmao)

on that note Misa 100% very BPD I agree. I wanna say on top of autism, L also seems to have some ASPD traits imo. Near is autistic but I think that goes without saying lol. Mello has like... C-PTSD and/or NPD. and then this probably not a very unexpected take, but Matsuda has ADHD or audhd vibes. OH and! Soichiro also very much has OCD and autism, imo.

other headcanons:

not a hot take, but Mello and Near are both nonbinary and/or genderqueer (and/or otherwise trans, if not applicable) to me (could be transmasc or transfem, not necessarily transneutral; I could see either or any direction among those, although I would say I lean toward seeing Near as transfem and/or nonbinary, and Mello as transmasc and/or genderqueer).

Light is demi, and has had a covert superiority complex about not feeling attraction unlike his peers (like. you can view him deciding to use porn mag reading to prove himself as a normal teenage boy as indicative of his subconscious? mental association of his more "normal" peers as, like.... unfortunate horny perverts. in a way. if that makes sense) I know how it feels because I was kinda like this in grade 6-8

man I definitely have other ideas too but I'm drawing a blank at the moment partly because it's late and I still haven't eaten lunch lmao. I will continue to post my thoughts and headcanons in the future, so tune in by clicking on the subscribe butto- *gets shot*

ask game

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Aita for venting?

Emojis, so I can find it later 💯⁉️💥 (unrelated, I just use them a lot)

So I(16) have been struggling with depression since I was, like, 10. It's been worse and better over the years, but something that really triggers it is extreme weather. Dunno why, but if its hot as fuck outside I *will* be considering suicide.

I regularly go to sleepaway camp every year. I usually do two weeks and usually go during the summer rainy season. Well, a year or two back (can't remember, got that depression and ADHD memory loss) I went later on in the summer than I usually do, and it was really fucking hot out. The whole time.

I could deal with it for a couple of days, especially because I was having a bit of romantic tension with J(16) (not real name, not even real initial). "I can survive any situation as long as I have a crush on someone there", or whatever that post said. He was really sweet and also suffered from depression. We talked about our struggles together, and he seemed to be responsive and chill about it. He did have trauma from his past with loved ones committing suicide, but he seemed to have worked through his grief and didn't have negative reactions when it was mentioned.

Here's where I might be the asshole. Eventually, the heat got to be too much for me, not to get too graphic but I was making plans, so I sent my parents a letter asking to pick me up. I waited a couple days for them to recieve it, and they did and called and said they would pick me up in the morning.

I delivered the news to everyone by being quite vague about what I had to go home for. When pressed, I said my parents didn't give any details and I was a little worried. That explained my acting weird away to everyone, but not J. He didn't believe me for one minute, and was determined to get to the bottom of it.

He took me outside, asked me what was wrong, and told me it was ok to tell him. It took a little convincing, but I eventually broke down and told him I was having suicidal ideation and that I needed to get the fuck out of dodge or I might do something drastic. I specified that I would be completely fine once I got out of the oppressive heat and humidity, just that I had to go home ASAP. I did ask him not to tell anyone because I didn't want them to worry, which I realize now was unkind. I should have at least told a counselor so that he wasn't alone.

Anyway, he immediately started having full-fledged PTSD flashbacks. I couldn't tell at first, but then I realized what was going on and tried to comfort him. It didn't work. The counselor that came check on us just kicked me out. I went back inside feeling guilty, but I was hoping that I reassured him enough that he would be ok.

He acted normal for the rest of the time I was there (we even kissed! That was my first kiss) and made me promise to text him when I got home. Naturally, I did, reassuring him and telling him I was feeling infinitely better now that I had air conditioning and my phone. When he got home from camp a week later, he seemed a little freaked out but seemed to be mollified by my texts.

However, a couple days after that, he texted me out of nowhere, saying that I shouldn't have told him about what I was going home about because I gave him constant PTSD flashbacks for the rest of camp. He felt sick with worry the whole time. I felt like shit, obviously, so I responded with profuse apologies. He seemed to accept them but still feel a little resentful.

I still feel really fucking bad about it. I actually haven't told anyone I know IRL about. Well. Pretty much anything bothering me since. I know that's a bit of an overreaction, but I don't want to do that to anyone else.

So, am I the asshole?

(By the way, if you were there or know me, I would love it if you could just ignore this. Please and thank you. And also never make me know you read this cause that would be embarrassing as fuck lol)

[correctproseka]

An essay on autistic Mafuyu

Coming from a very autistic person.

Mafuyu has a bunch of autism symptoms, but a lot of them can also be explained by other reasons, such as her upbring and trauma, but not all of them, so I'm going to start speaking about the explainable by other things traits and move up to "boy you're tism". (Notw that the trauma explanation can also have a pre-disposition to happen due to tism)

In the biggest "can be explained by her trauma" category, we actually have the biggest reason people headcanon her as autistic. Her Alexithymia. Which is just a fancy word for "can't recognize her own feelings". No i did not have to copy paste that name to not write it wrong. Yes, many autistic people are bad at recognizing their own feelings, me included. But we also have to note that Mafuyu absolutely hid away those feelings for a mask and because they were needs not being met, a "good girl" like her doesnt get sad or angry right? Thats what made her push down those feelings so much she just ended up.. numb. Its extremely common in depression as well as autism which made me personally not realize i was depressed until someone made me put it into words, it was similar to my normal.

Theres also her.. exquisite vocabulary, Mafuyu uses lots of fancy terms sometimes, which is very stereotypical white boy autism. But also, she was pushed books down her throat by her mom since she was a child, she was expected to be this "fancy" and "smart-sounding". So she is.

Observant. Mafuyu doesn't talk a lot, she observes. She can recognize things on others sometimes, but mostly about the environment, which can be an autism noticing a bird singing 5 blocks away or a trauma "i need to notice this or i get fucked" reaction.

Mafuyu as mentioned, tends to listen more than speak, I am personally not this kind of autism, but it exists, Mafuyu is quiet, listening and only speaking when she feels her input is needed. This can be simply a mixture of autism and trauma. She doesn't feel the need to speak, so she doesn't, why would she waste her energy like that? Smh.. but also her good girl mask is supposed to be a good listener, not much of a yapper.

Now we are starting to move onto the things she does that are less explained by trauma and more explained by tism. Which is my favorite part to analyze.

Parallel play: Mafuyu seeks comfort with being with niigo and working alongside them, she doesn't even need to be talking, as seen by the kitty event where she kept just listening to them on earphones, she just wants to be near her people and gets calmed down by being with them.

Bluntness. As an autistic person i am extremely blunt in wrong situations, and can easily not recognize its the wrong situation. Per example Mafuyu's "why dont you imagine you're gonna get killed if you dont do it in half an hour" or all the times she points something out to Ena and gets a scream back because it was the wrong time? Mafuyu says what she thinks and when out of the mask she really. Really. Lacks a filter, because she doesn't know when or what she's supposed to speak or not

She.. kind of needs people to say the obvious? Sometimes she doesnt realize whats going on, why she's reacting in a way, so and so. One of the reasons Mizuki had to tell her it's ok to run away. Mafuyu never considered it. It wasn't obvious for her like it would be for a lot of people, she's kind of very oblivious in emotional matters like that, and needs someone (coughs usually Mizuki) to explain something to her

There's probably more but im doing this in like 15 minutes.

Plus, all in all, she makes autistic people like me really relate to her, even if they can be mostly explained by trauma doesnt mean she doesn't show those signs or that they're only because of that, even the mask she uses is a known neurodivergent thing.

[cxvii666]

TENNNN, congrats btw!! And I’d love to be moots if you’d like 💕

Name: Mara

Age: 20

Pronouns: she/her

Sexual Orientation: bisexual

My Guilty Pleasure Fanfic Trope: I don’t really have a guilty pleasure one, I just love angsty ass friends to lovers

Preferred Fandom: My Hero Academia

Favourite First Date Idea: arcade!

Favourite Album: AM - Arctic Monkeys

My Screen Time: 8hrs

Love Life Status: Single 😕

“your perfect match is...”

... DENKI KAMINARI

“i heard that you fell in love, or near enough”

wc: 735

"if i make this one then you owe me."

you look up at denki from your phone. he's standing by the little basketball hoop holding one of those foam balls in his hand wide grin on his face.

"i owe you? you're the one that wanted to play this one, i want to-"

the blonde shushes you and mimes zipping his mouth. "i need total silence for this shot babe."

you roll your eyes at the denki. you always let him do this. he barges into your room, without knocking, you scream at him to go away, he doesn't, he sits on your bed and makes idle conversation, says your hair looks nice, bats his pretty little eyelashes at you, and before you can even begin to protest you're being dragged into town, his companion on whatever side quest he's on. you complain the whole way, the standard 'don't you have other friends' and he just looks at you, his face melted in confusion as if to say, 'why would you even ask that?' and says some variation of "you're just more fun to hang out with ig".

'to hang out with.'

that's all it is. hang out. but the butterflies in your stomach can't seem to be able to tell the fucking difference, and the voice in the back of your mind that lets you know that he does treat you differently to his other friends doesn't shut up either.

after last time, he forced you to the cinema and spent the whole time tracing circles on the back of your hand, your thighs brushing every time one of you moved, and when you got home you spent like 10 minutes screaming into your pillow, and like a full hour in the shower going over every little detail of each your interactions with him, you promised yourself that you'd say no next time.

but here you are, hanging out.

"when i make this basket-"

"-if you make it-"

"when i make it," his stupid smug little grin that you wanna slap off of his stupid pretty face, "you owe me a kiss."

i think you hide your shock pretty well, your eyes widen only slightly, but your mind is running like crazy. as in, this has seriously undone all the convincing of 'oh he's this touchy feeling with all his friends' that you'd been repeating in your head every time he holds your hand, or hugs you you a bit too long, or kisses you bye on the cheek.

but you stay focused, locked in, you won't let him play his little mind games with you, at least, you think they're games?

so you try your best at throwing him off the scent.

"yeah, well," he turns his head back to you and move your hair out of your face "why don't you just ask your girlfriend."

"huh, what gir- girlfriend?" denki stutters and almost drops the ball, clearly not the reaction he'd been expecting. "i do not have a girlfriend?"

you're more collected now but still kinda confused at his confusion "no?" you tease "so that girl you were talking about last week was.."

"who? her? nah that's bro." he scrunches his face and bounces the ball about in his hands.

you slide your phone into your back pocket "that's bro?"

"yeah like," the blonde takes a moment and rolls the words around in his mouth, like he's trying to reassure you of something, "she's bro, she's- she's just a friend."

"what, like how we're friends?"

denki stops fidgeting for a moment and looks you dead in the eyes, all traces of his playfulness gone. "nothing like us."

"meaning???"

denki drops the eye contact suddenly finding the floor extremely interesting and his voice softens "it's just- it's just not the same is all."

but you press, "how is it not the same?"

"its just not- why are you even asking?" he does his stupid little bit and looks around for hidden cameras. you don't find it funny. "what is this an integration or summin'?"

you sigh, the moments gone and you give up on trying to make sense of him, "just make the fucking shot already."

"yeah, i will make the fucking shot," denki grumbles to himself as he lines his body up with the basket. and its full concentration written on his face. he takes a deep breath, throws the ball.

and misses.

heyyyy cuties i had lots of fun writing this one so @cccupidityy !!! i hope you enjoy ☺️ if you guys wanna get involved im still taking requests so follow da rules and drop me an ask ;) MY OTHER SWEETIES IM STILL WRITING URS I PROMISE ILL GET THEM OUT SOON

[wyndigo-reblogs]

Okay, I could not fit this entire thing in the notes, so I'm going to make a separate post for it @servusapollinis

Basically, vasovagal syncope is a condition where, when somebody is exposed to certain triggers (usually blood, gore, vomit, or needles, although it can be many other things) they experience a massive spike in heart rate and a massive drop in blood flow, usually leading to emotional distress, lightheadedness, headaches, or fainting.

I have severe trypanophobia (fear of needles) and I got vasovagal syncope from my mom, so I flip the fuck out whenever I see/am near needles. But this is insane, It's totally irrational, I absolutely love horror, and gore, and all that stuff, it doesn't bother me at all, probably to a concerning extent! So it's totally weird for me to have this.

But I've been watching the SAW franchise, and I've had absolutely no reaction to all of the blood and gore, I've quite enjoyed watching it. But now I'm on the second movie, and there's a scene where a woman has to crawl through a pit of needles. And up until this point, I'm completely fine, enjoying the movie, laughing with my family, all the good stuff. And all of a sudden I'm super light-headed, I'm crying and I don't know why I'm crying, and then I start laughing because I'm crying, and I can't stop laughing, and then my dad had to get me some water and help me off the floor.

I've had some very extreme reactions to needles, I mean hell, I wasn't even in the double digits when I was literally fighting several doctors just because I had to get blood drawn, but I've never done something like that, and I have a good feeling that the next time I have to see a needle irl, I'm going to pass out for real this time.

So yeah! Actually a pretty funny experience, but probably not the best.

[foreignswaggersession]

there are definitely iwtv fans who love acting like they care about racism when it comes to fictional characters, but have no issue with being condescending towards actual black and south asian people in this fandom.

Btw making "brown man has mid dick" jokes to prop up lestat is also clownery and it's even more stupid how some people would choose to double down on it after hearing about why it's degrading and uncomfortable. like i couldn't believe the bullshit i was reading from some of these so called "fandom anti racists", but they're clearly not mature enough for this discussion.

sorry for taking so long to respond anon - i wanted to make the posts with screenshots first so i could show my work and not be accused of merely reaching to support my ship. i think most the condescension from these fans comes from their selective memory of the show as filtered through their long-held headcanons, and i wanted to respond by citing the show itself. the fans started claiming louis was never attracted to armand as plainly evident, when the show clearly says the exact opposite, repeatedly. i watched the "armand has mid dick" joke/theory develop in real time and snowball within the pro-louis section of the fandom. it got twisted up in the 'louis hates topping' + 'lestat's dick is uniquely amazing' + 'armand can't satisfy louis' takes, all of which i disagree with. i understand your discomfort anon, it's part of why i started posting in the fandom - 'louis only wants pink dick' also became a thing this season and it broke me (louis didn't get it up for jonah while eating rats for y'all to act like pink dick does anything for him but sure, believe what you want).

to give some credit, i think some of these fans you're talking about started making these 'jokes' in reaction to the overwhelming (and undeserved) sympathy towards armand that dominated the fandom at the time (probably still does tbh). it's fair to point out that armand is not just any brown man but is in fact an extremely manipulative abuser who threatened to kill louis, set him and his family up to get killed, killed his daughter/sister, lied to him about it for years, sadistically let him suffer after a suicide attempt he instigated, erased that memory and covered THAT up for years, and to also suggest that those acts negatively affected louis's attraction to him. and yeah, i too am tired of reading takes about how loving armand was (girl when?) and how louis wasn't nice enough to him 🙄. that said, armand is attractive as fuck in universe and in our reality, so it's weird to pretend louis would not be attracted to him, despite his off-putting nature (see season 1).

most importantly, louis's desire for armand is a key plot point essential to the breakdown of his and claudia's relationship. claudia didn't say "picked another one over me" and "you were lestat's, now you're armand's" out of ignorance - she understands louis better than anyone. it's wishful thinking to suggest that louis suffered in silence for claudia through eps 11 and 13 and only stayed with armand for 70+ years to protect claudia/punish lestat and no other reason. it would have been really great if louis kept his commitment to claudia, probably would have saved several lives...alas, tragedy.

like i keep saying, just say you don't see the chemistry in / can't support loumand, or prefer the chemistry / want to support loustat. but claiming that louis never fell in love with armand prior to claudia's murder - that just is not supported by the show's text.

just fyi, i think saintarmand has a great answer to a similar ask, so i will also refer you to her response here.

[bookwormbynight]

the take that lawlight and other ships involving Light and an older character are not problematic because “Light Yagami is incapable of being groomed” is doing rounds on dntwt again and holy shit it drives me insane every time i see it because

(“you” below refers to people with this take, not you)

1. what the hell is this victim-blaming logic when you’re literally talking about it as something applicable to the real world. no one is immune to being groomed.

2. to speak of the idea in-universe, I’m pretty sure that is just factually untrue. Light can definitely be groomed and has many traits that make him susceptible

3. no one is immune to being groomed. Light being manipulative, “evil”, intelligent or ““mature for his age”” (oh boy) does not prevent him from grooming in any capacity. in fact those traits combined with his arrogance make him a easy target as long as the perpetrator knows what to say

4. if you’re uncomfortable with the idea that lawlight is grooming, you can just think and say that you do not view lawlight’s dynamic as grooming. that would be reasonable, at least in comparison to fucking “light is immune to being groomed”

5. (pardon my language but) why in the fuck would you phrase it like “I’m sorry but if you can *insert a bunch of things that don’t prevent anyone from being groomed* then I’m NOT gonna believe you got groomed” like do you know how you sound right now????

6. have I mentioned that no one is immune to being groomed.

frankly, as someone who doesn’t usually prefer to view lawlight as full-on “adult grooming child” (I do think the existing age gap is a very intriguing factor but generally it is not my top preference to take it to the extreme in my own conception of it; it is very interesting to see as an alternative though, I respect it), I feel MUCH safer around everyone in this dn tumblr circle than people who say that shit. respect and salute to you all 🫡

Oh, ick!! Thank you for sharing!

Dude I am so afraid of dntwt I refuse. Of course the drawback to that is Tumblr doesn't allow the kind of images that Twitter does so I miss out on that but with the combination of Elon Musk and the nazis and whatever nutcase discourse that regularly happens over there, I'm not touching that shit with a ten foot pole even for the sake of porn 😭

Yeah no the solution to something that makes you uncomfortable is never ever to blame the victim. (Honestly, and I'm psychoanalyzing again, I think part of what makes this circle so safe is that we treat this shit with the gravity it deserves, even when we're sexualizing it. Because what we're sexualizing IS the horror. The horror is what's hot about it, but the horror reaction implies that it's something terrible and serious. It's not normal or okay or impossible.)

I'd like to explore the mention of discomfort with the topic. That shit is normal and human. Not everyone likes sexualizing horror, not everyone understands everything you need for it to feel safe, AND, and this is a wildly different but still important factor in fandom interaction, not everyone DOES think it's plausible for the universe. You can think things don't match your headcanon for how you interpreted the work! I made a post yesterday along those lines about a fanfic I was reading! The thing is, don't attack real people (if you think someone's handling a subject in fiction in a way that does real harm, like E.L. James for my example, you don't send hate mail, you tell people why it's harmful and boycott the work); be aware that canon is subjective even if you have some textual evidence to back your view up - feel free to present said evidence, but nobody has to take it to heart and you can't make them; and above all, if it's pertaining to these types of topics, DO NOT USE THE VICTIM TO CONTRADICT IT. USE THE SUPPOSED PERPETRATOR. If you don't think L is a groomer, say so, if you don't think lawlight involves grooming, go for it, but Light Yagami better not fucking be a pillar of your argument because victims are never the reason something happened to them, which means they are also never the reason something didn't happen. People astound me.

Be kind everybody ❤️