#like when i said it that way it felt like an enormous fucking thing

[w3as3ly]

cup of coffee for my head, not threat if not end on admission, then end on admission

[petew21-blog]

Revenge possession

Devon was your normal college guy, who also had a god like body on the other hand. His life wasn't very special in many ways. He had two brothers and one sister. All born in USA, moving the states a lot. All had an unproblematic childhood. Everytime a problem occured it would be solved by itself almost immediately or the parents would take care of it. Speaking of the parents I have to mention one tiny detail.

Their parents. How to put this? Their parents were a lovely pair, highschool sweethearts, very good looking. The only downside was that they were serial killers.

And that brings the story to me. Hey, I'm Jake and I was hitchhiking in California back then when Devon's seemingly fine parents picked me and then brutally murdered me in the forest. Kinda dark right? Yeah. I was a 21 year old guy with my life ahead of me and they ended in a few minutes just to have some thrilling disgusting moment in their life.

My ghost has been roaming the world for another 20 years. I was trying to find the family to have my revenge. But everytime I got close they moved their family to another state. That also included the problems the family didn't have. The parents would always eliminate the one who caused the problems.

But now I found them. Or atleast their children. Even though I had 20 years to plan my revenge, but I couldn't plan much. I was going through the house. The parents were on a holiday if I understood correctly. So I had time to find out a bit more about their life

I was exploring the house when I found Devon here, playing videogames in his room. He was playing just in his shorts. His shirtless body showed his tense muscles as he was getting really into the game

This could be it. I don't have to possess the parents. I could have my revenge from his body. And it would be kind of poetic justice. My life ended when I was 21, if I possess their sons body and take away his life it would be a perfect revenge. Of course, I would still have to interrupt the killing of the parents.

Now or never. Revenge awaits

I sunk into him. His controller fell on the ground, the inactivity making him loose. He was really tough. Maybe I should have practiced the possession on someone weaker, but I couldn't risk that I would stay in that body and couldn't get my revenge.

We fought for an hour. His body contorting on the couch, sweat dripping from everywhere. His socks wet. Fuck yeah! I can feel His feet already. I moved them. They were mine! This little moment of win gave me enough power to push and place Devon in the back of his mind. I could still hear him. He was begging me to stop. Begging to let go. But no. This is my body now.

"I... I am Devon" I said with a mischievous smile. I looked down at the sweaty body. My enormous arms searched the trail of sweat. I flexed them. I could feel how tired Devon got from the possession. Hell, I was tired.

But I had much to do. Revenge couldn't wait. Then my eyes trailed the abs I now possessed. "Maybe revenge can wait"

My new hand got very close to my waitsband. I lifted it up to find a beautiful uncut 8inch dick

"Daaamn son, you're packing"

I got hard and wanted to jerk off right there. This beautiful thing can't be left unattended. But I got really thirsty. The fight left Devon's body in a horrible state.

I went to the kitchen. The only cold thing I found was a can of beer. I chugged it instantly, my new mouth still not used to me didn't respond very well, so most of the liquid poured over my chest right down the trail of my abs.

"Time for shower"

As I was standing in the shower I was in awe and glee. So many years of wondering where my killers were. Years of being a ghost and not enjoying life. Now I have this amazing gift of a body.

As the shower sprayed water over my muscles I jerked off my hard monster with both hands. Furiously and pressing it hard. I hoped that no one else was home today, cause I was screaming in pleasure. So many years without orgasms. I felt Devon in the back of my mind trying to resist it. He felt the pleasure too. But didn't want to let go of the rest of the control he had.

"Don't worry Devon. I'll take care of your body. I don't wanna hurt you. I just wanna hurt your parents"

My big balls had to work overtime. I jerked off three times at that shower. Almost no hot water left for anyone else to shower, but I didn't care. I stepped out, not even cleaning the cum on the glass and the floor of the shower

I approached the mirror and with my hand scraped a hit of the fog on the mirror to observe myself.

Damn what a fine specimen I am right now. This is gonna be so amazing

"I can help you" echoed in the back of my mind

"Help with what?" I answered

Devon:"I can help you pass as me more easily to fool my parents so that you can get revenge on them. While you were jerking off I saw your memories. And I also know what my parents do. Or atleast I suspected it for a long time. Now I have proof"

Me:"So I am to believe that you'll just let me be in your body willingly and help me get your parents? How can I trust you that you won't warn them?"

Devon:"You can't. But I can offer you my body. We can share it. I always felt alone in my life and sharing a body with a likeminded person isn't such a bad destiny for myself. I really enjoyed the shower session. And if you give me a tiny bit o lf control I can show you something that you haven't done in your body back then"

I hesitated. All this time it was only about revenge. I never thought about what would happen after. Now I had an amazing body and I could do the right thing. If I would just possess him entirely I wouldn't be better than his parents. I would take his life from him just like they did with me. The co-piloting thing wasn't a bad idea. But what if he rats me out to them?

Me:"Ok, I'm in. I don't want to hurt you kid. But I can't let your parents hurt any more young guys like me. If they are on a killimg spree again we have to stop them"

Devon:"I agree. But they are coming back in a few days and until then, I can show you what you were missing"

I gave him control. He didn't fight, which was a good sign. And now he went back to his room, opening a drawer. It contained sk many sex toys I never even had a chance to know and feel

Devon:"Revenge can wait. It's time to have some fun"

[majesty-madness]

On My Mind - Levi Ackerman x reader (nsfw)

Summary: She didn’t know why, but the only thing she could think of was how good he made her feel. 

Word Count: 4400+

Warnings: smut, 18+, MINORS DNI, female reader, missionary, rough sex, being bent over a desk, begging, overstimulation, fingering, handjob, crying, multiple orgasms, creampies, cursing, dirty talk, sweet sweet aftercare, several 'I love yous' thrown in for good measure

a/n: I have no idea where this even came from and also I didn't expect it to be so freaking long, but whatever. Not proofread. 

Main Masterlist

Commissions are open!

All day. All fucking day her thoughts have been on nothing but him. 

Y/N didn’t know what came over her today, but from the moment she woke up all the way to now, nearing midnight, Y/N could think of nothing except the idea of Levi pounding her into next week. 

She didn’t know if it was because despite his short height, he possessed maddening strength or the intensity behind his eyes no matter what he was speaking about, or maybe the way he’d carefully touch her hand whenever he passed by her, maybe it was a collective of all those things. 

Whatever it was, it caused her hormones to sky rocket and the only thing on her mind was the sensation of Levi splitting her open. 

Like a good girl, she waited until their shift was over, late into the night when everyone was well into dreamland. As soon as the night arrived, Y/N rushed to Levi’s office. She attempted to keep her steps collected and quiet, but the vivid memory of how Levi stretched her out she began to speed walk down the corridor. 

Her heart thundered in her chest, she felt herself become flustered before she even reached Levi’s office and the moment she did the heat rushed to her core. 

However, she didn’t want to reveal her intentions just yet so she took a quick breath to stabilize her rapid heartbeat before knocking. 

A muffled ‘come in’ sounded out and she did exactly that. 

The second her eyes came into contact with Levi’s figure, she sucked in an aroused gasp. Y/N had no idea why she was reacting this way as normally she was rather tame but the mere sight of him was causing her body to go into overdrive.

Levi hadn’t bothered to glance up yet as he finished writing on some random document to which Y/N took the opportunity to lock the door behind her. It was only after Y/N took a couple of steps towards his desk that he finally looked up. 

His expression went from the usual pensive face to a much softer one, causing the heat to now burn in her gut. And if she looked hard enough, there were the beginnings of a smile forming on his lips. 

“Hi.” Was all he said.

Y/N flashed him a smile, trying desperately not to squirm in her spot. “Hi.” 

Levi looked back down to the documents in his hand, a heavy sigh leaving his mouth as he did. 

The sound caused Y/N to suddenly become worried, and the scourging heat that wracked her body was quickly waning. 

“Are you okay, love?” Y/N asked, a clear tone of concern. It was only then that she realized that Levi could be under an enormous amount of stress, and sex might be the last thing on his mind. So despite her desire to jump his bones, if he truly didn’t feel well, she was not going to force herself on him. 

She would be able to put her lust aside for his well being. 

However, he nodded. “I’m fine, there’s just so many documents to look over though at least they're not an urgent priority.” 

Y/N breathed out relieved by his answer and Levi sharply noticed. “What’s that sigh for?” 

She waved her hand at him, lightly brushing off the question. “Oh nothing, I’m glad that you’re alright.” 

Levi shook his head then moved his eyes to look back down to the paper in front of him. There were a few moments of silence as Y/N contemplated how she should go about this. Perhaps she could play with him a little. 

Carefully, Y/N made her way over to his desk, placing her hands on top of the wooden surface with a kind of seductive elegance she didn’t know she had. It was a subtle move, however Levi knew that this wasn't her usual behavior as his eyes flicked up to meet her’s. 

“Levi, baby, can I tell you something?” 

He didn’t say anything but instead nodded, urging her to speak. 

“I’ve been thinking about you all day.”

Levi raised a brow inquisitively at the undertone of that statement. “Is that so?”

Y/N nodded, briefly biting her lip then letting it go. “I missed you so much today too.” 

He leaned back in his chair, gently placing his pen down onto the table while his eyes took in her figure. “We see each other every day.”

“Oh I know, but I still miss you.” Y/N answered seemingly timid as though she were embarrassed to say it out loud but the chuckle she let out said otherwise. 

She pushed herself off the desk, leaving one hand to lightly trace the edge. “I miss your voice, your dark eyes, the slight smile whenever we see each other…” It was then that Levi noted her slowly walking around the side of the desk to meet him behind it. 

“I miss the way you hold me in the mornings, the way you nudge my leg when we eat together in the mess hall, the way you kiss me when you think no ones around…”

Now she was only a few inches away from him, hand still resting on top of the desk near the pen that Levi has previously been using. 

“I miss the way you make me feel, how gently you touch me when you patch me up after getting hurt, how you go out of your way to help me when it’s that time of the month, even how you reassure me…” 

Then she leaned forward, cupping his cheek with one hand while the other laid against his shoulder. She watched his eyes widen a bit curiously with his mouth opening a little. “But more importantly…”

Instead of going straight for his lips, she ignored them and hovered her lips near his ear; voice hushed and laced with desire. 

“I miss the way I feel when you’re inside me.” 

His face changed completely, morphing into stunned arousal, his mouth gaping open at her choice of words. But it didn’t stop there.

“God, the way you stretch me out makes me fucking shake. It’s so addicting.” Y/N kissed the part of his jaw that meets his ear, feeling Levi’s entire body jump from the intimate contact as well as the hand that now rested on her waist.

“You always know how to find those parts of me that I Just. Can’t. Reach.” She punctuated each word with kiss after kiss to his jaw, savoring in the slightest hitch in his breath. The hand resting on her waist began to tighten up all while twisting the fabric of her uniform in between his fingers. 

The hand that had rested on his shoulder, traced downward, firmly pressing against the rippling muscles under his shirt, going down and down until hovering over his most sensitive area. Y/N groped the bulge beneath his pants, savoring the hiss of breath leaving his mouth. 

“Does that feel good?” Y/N teased, giving him another squeeze. He shut his eyes briefly as the pleasure rushed through him but soon opened them again to glare at Y/N. 

She could tell already that he was going to make her eat those words later but for now, she would enjoy this in full. Keeping her hand pressed against his growing erection, she moved her head to kiss along the other side of Levi’s jaw until she met his chin. Y/N pulled herself back just enough, lips barely grazing together, their hot breath mingling as she fiddled with his belt buckle. 

It made the familiar light clinking sound as Y/N pulled the tale of the buckle from the metal loop, busying herself with the button. As soon as it came undone, Y/N finally pressed her lips heatedly into his. 

It was hot, near feverish as their mouths moved in tandem. When one would pull away the tiniest bit, they were swiftly chased by the other in a desperate attempt to stay connected. As Levi took the opportunity to bring her into his lap to straddle him, Y/N slipped her hand under the hem of his underwear, feeling the burning skin of his length. 

Levi ripped himself away from her sinful lips to lean back into his chair, both hands caressing the thick flesh of Y/N’s behind while she tugged him out of his uniform pants. The cold air hitting the scourging hot skin caused him to let out a light gasp before Y/N began to carefully stroke him.

“Y/N…”

His soft moans made Y/N unwittingly whimper in return, turned on by the simple fact that she was pleasuring him and he had hardly touched her yet.

“Oh Levi, you sound so pretty like this.” She continued her ministrations, hand wrapping around him tightly. 

Levi couldn’t help but to close his eyes as he let himself succumb to Y/N’s touch, thighs clenching with every stroke and puffs of heavy air leaving his lungs. For a moment, Levi thought he could get lost in the pleasure entirely that was until he felt the warmth of Y/N palm caress his cheek.

“Levi, sweetheart, look at me.” Y/N whispered, voice soft and smooth like honey. 

He did as she asked, begrudgingly opening his steel gray eyes to peer up at her. While he had thoughts of getting back at her for her teasing, when he did finally look at her, he admired the shining gleam in her own eyes and the slight biting of her lips. 

Although she had teased him, taking control over him and his body, it was obvious how much this was affecting her too. 

“Unbutton your shirt for me.” 

His eyes narrowed, a sort of pride bubbling up inside him to not let her have her way, however, that feeling quickly disappeared when Y/N dragged her thumb over his leaking tip causing his body to jolt with ecstasy. 

“Please?” 

Levi made a light tsk sound before reaching up with shaky fingers to carefully remove his cravat and undo the button up shirt. On several of the buttons, Levi had to find the strength to steady himself as Y/N never stopped moving her hand, constantly pumping his hardening length. The precum slicking up his skin, making wet noises between the two of them leaving him to imagine the sound of finally pushing inside her. 

Upon reaching the last button, Y/N took the opportunity to push the fabric aside to admire his muscular torso. She got a feel of them earlier, but now she could touch them in full. And that’s exactly what Y/N did. 

She gently dragged her fingers across his collarbone, then down his firm chest, and down to his abs again, taking her time in tracing every line of his body. Then Y/N leaned forward, beginning to suck the skin of his collar and briefly his chest. 

He suddenly let out a desperate whimper, signaling that with the contact of Y/N’s lips on his skin and still playing with him, he was reaching his limit. Y/N pumped faster, to match the pace of his hips jutting slightly upward to quicken his oncoming climax. 

With only a couple of more pumps of Y/N’s hand, Levi’s orgasm crashed over him, the sound of a whine diverting into a growl as white ropes of his release splattered onto his bare abs. 

Y/N stopped all movement, allowing Levi to simply bask in the afterglow and catch his breath. 

“I love the sounds you make when you cum, Levi. So pretty.” Y/N praised, leaning to capture his lips once more, then pulled away to place delicate kisses against his reddened cheeks. 

Levi stared off into nothingness, mind grappling to regain his composure, chest heaving up and down to supply his lungs with air.

His gaze drifted back to Y/N instead of the plain wood of the wall behind her, taking in her flushed expression, blown out pupils, and eyes swimming with unadulterated love. No woman had ever looked at him the way she did, like he’d hung the stars in the sky, like he was her whole world. Perhaps he was, because if he was sure of anything she had definitely become his. 

However, as sweet as the expression on her face was, Levi didn’t forget that she teased him earlier and though it hadn’t been too bad, he really wanted to get back at her for that. 

Without warning, he grasped a handful of her hair at the base of her skull, not enough to hurt but enough to force her mere millimeters from his mouth.

“Now you unbutton your shirt.” He demanded, watching her bite her bottom lip. 

She did as she was told, and quickly began to unbutton her own shirt like he’d done moments before. At the same time, Levi got to work on her belt unlacing from the buckle with precision and promptly dipped his fingers past her underwear. The second he did, he came into contact with her most intimate place, feeling the wetness of her arousal. 

“Levi..” She mewled, hand reaching up to grip his forearm. 

Levi circled her clit a few times with his thumb, copying her movements from earlier by kissing at her exposed collar before pushing two fingers inside her. Y/N gasped at the sudden intrusion but tried to thrust her hips into his hand for more friction at the same time he began to curl them against her sweet spot. 

“My, my, you really did miss me. I’ve barely even touched you and you’re already grinding into me.” Levi cooed, leaning into Y/n’s ear causing her whole body to quiver. 

“Please Levi, I want-” 

He kissed her neck, “What do you want, sweetheart?”

She bit her lip once more, attempting to formulate some coherent words to tell him exactly what she was thinking. “I want you to- mhm! M-make me cum.” 

As soon as the words danced off her tongue, Levi felt her walls tighten around his fingers the longer he pushed his fingers in and out, curling them at the same time. “Say it one more time.”

Y/N moaned, gripping his arm harder as he stroked her faster. “I want you to make me cum!”

“Good girl.” He smirked, immediately picking up the pace. While continuing his motions, he dipped his head down to capture one of Y/N’s nipples into his mouth and sucked lavishly  at the delicate bud. 

“Oh Levi..” Y/N whimpered, feeling the tension of her orgasm pulling tighter and tighter, right on the cusp of release; the sensation of Levi’s fingers thrusting into her wet hole and the smoothness of his tongue lapping at her nipples almost too much. 

For a split second she wondered if it was humanly possible to feel that way, a state of near complete euphoria. 

She didn’t get to wander about it much longer when Levi gave a particularly forceful thrust of his fingers against her spot causing her to quickly fall over the edge. “Oh fuck, Levi!”

Her walls tightened and gushed around his thick digits, her hips instinctually grinding down into his palm.

He didn’t remove his mouth from her chest, opting to suck bruises into her flesh, his groans of mutual pleasure vibrating into her clavicle as she came down from her natural high. Though unlike Y/N, Levi didn’t allow time for her to catch her breath, instead he picked Y/N up off his lap, forcing her to stand on her weak legs before whipping her around to bend her over his desk; pushing aside the countless papers that littered it. 

Y/N’s arms were pinned beneath her body, legs spread around as Levi reached around to unbutton her pants and pull them down over her ass. He basked in the sight of her glistening entrance, watching her essence drip down her thighs and soaking her underwear. 

“You made such a mess.” Levi growled, his sultry tone playing on the edge of danger with the promise of further bliss. 

Y/N tilted her head back as far as it could go to stare up at her lover, “Only because you make me feel so good.” 

He smirked devilishly at that. “Oh is that so?” 

She watched as he raised a hand to carefully pump himself a few times, taking a step ever closer, the heat of him seeping out onto her exposed entrance. After a few more pumps, he grasped his tip and agonizingly dragged it from her hole down to her clit, then back up, repeating this motion several times making Y/N squirm in her position. 

“You make it sound like I’m the one who started all this, when in fact you-” Levi pants, pushing just barely past her entrance making Y/N keen at the sensation. “are the one who teased me, and made me make a mess.” With that, he fully plunged himself inside her cunt in one swift motion, both gasping at the feeling of him sinking down into her. 

Levi gave Y/N a few seconds of adjustment but quickly began a brutal pace, the sound of skin on skin reverberating off the walls of the small office while their moans harmonized in sync with the other. 

He grabbed a hold of Y/N’s hips, pulling her into him as he snapped his own forward to meet in a forceful collision of intimacy. On one particular thrust, Y/N felt his tip prod at her cervix and she cried out.

Upon her wordless plea, Levi repeated his previous motion knowing exactly where she wanted it and proving that he hit that spot again when she gave another loud whine. So he kept going, pushing harder and faster until he could feel her already beginning to tighten around him, sucking him back in with every movement. 

And before she could say anything, she felt the hotness of euphoria erupt from her gut and spread through her limbs, setting every nerve blissfully on fire. Fuck, she was seeing stars, to the point where as the pleasure rose within her, the glistening of tears blurred her vision. 

Levi pressed himself fully into her back side, taking extra care to still his movements as he could also sense the rapid approach of his own orgasm. He was close, but he wanted Y/N facing him, looking him in the eyes as they both reached their end. As much as he wanted to give in, as much his body burned, he fought to hold it back. 

He took great pains to pull out slowly because any more friction than that would definitely make him explode right then and there especially as Y/N’s insides throb around his aching member. 

Once freed, Levi much more tenderly than before picked Y/N from the desk and turned her around to face him, his hands resting around her waist. His eyes flicked up to her’s, noticing the tears within them. He leaned forward to place a gentle kiss to her cheek, feeling the warmth of her face seep into his lips. 

“Are you okay?” He quietly asked. 

Y/N nodded, “Yes, my love. I’m okay.” 

Levi wordlessly kissed her a few more times then let his hands drift up to pull her uniform jacket from her shoulders, letting it fall haphazardly to the floor. Y/N’s hands reached up to do the same, pushing his jacket from him to let it lay beside her own. Levi’s hand kneaded the skin of her ass once more, fully capturing her lips then moved his hands under her thighs and lifted her off her feet. 

Y/N cupped his face while Levi placed her back on top of the desk, slowly guiding her to lay down, their lips forced apart once her back lay flat. He chased after her by placing a kiss to her stomach, leading a trail down to her hip bone, loving the way her legs jerked as he did so and traveled even further downward. His hands lifted up to grasp ahold of her pants and underwear, pulling them off methodically and leaving her legs bare before him; the surface of flesh illuminated by the soft, orange, candlelight. 

He settled himself between her legs, grabbing them to wrap them around his waist allowing little to no space as Levi finally sunk back inside her aching hole. 

“Shit!” Levi hissed, the warmth of her inner walls overwhelming him in all the best ways. If he was honest with himself, he could’ve cum right then. 

“Oh god, you feel so good.” Y/N moaned out once he was fully sheathed inside her. “Please, move…”

Even though the beginnings of his release were approaching quickly, Levi was determined to make her cum first. Without any more delay, he gave a few slow thrusts, pulling all the way out then slamming back in. Each move, causing Y/N’s entire being to shake as she wailed in tantalizing fervor. 

He repeated the motion several more times, soon switching to more eager thrusts. Ones that sank deeper with every drive of his hips. 

“This is what I waited for all d-day, you filling me up completely.” Y/N professed, eyes rolling back as Levi’s cock assaulted her insides. 

“All day huh?” Levi huffed breathlessly, eyes locking onto the point where they were joined together. “You really were needy for me today. Just couldn’t wait for me to fuck you, fill you with my cum?”

Y/N nodded weakly, too dazed in the ridges of his length massaging the walls of her cunt. 

The sparks of previous orgasm reignited, prickling at his nerve endings, and rapidly spreading an addictive heat over his whole being. “Damn it…” 

Levi brought his hand between the two of them to press his finger onto her clit, beginning to rub it in a circular pattern. She convulsed under him, whines bordering on sobs scratching away at her throat, and he felt her clench tightly around him which caused his hips to stutter in their movements.

“Levi! I’m so close!” 

“I know, me too. Fuck!” 

Y/N lifted her legs up, hooking them on top of each other to trap him against her. “Please, Levi, cum inside me.”

He growled, the sound coming from deep within while he ravenously continued rubbing at her clit; thrusts hungry and impatient to reach the edge and finally, Y/N tightened unbearably around him, her mouth hanging open in a silent moan. 

Levi bucked into her a few more times before he inevitably reached that threshold, his cum spilling out in white ropes and filling her to the brim. 

The hot sensation of his essence soaking her insides made her mewl in delight, a barely noticeable smile working its way to her lips. “I love you, Levi.” 

He looked up at her face, seeing her tired eyes and satisfied smile. The sight made his heart flutter. “I love you too, Y/N.”

They took a moment to catch their breath, the sounds of their panting intertwining in the air while the sound of the crickets became apparent once their nightly activity came to a cease.

“Let’s get to bed, it’s late.” Y/N suggested while bringing her hand up to softly caress his forearm. 

He nodded. “Right, good idea.” 

With that, Levi pulled out, both making a low groan at the loss of warmth, but soon Levi brought Y/N up and picked her up in his arms, carrying her to the bedroom behind another door just a few feet from his desk. Once they were in the bedroom, Levi grabbed his handkerchief from his pocket to wipe away the mess he made between Y/N’s legs and then proceeded to wipe himself off. 

He reminded himself to wash it as soon as he got up in the morning. 

“Can I wear one of your shirts tonight?” Y/N sweetly asked, already removing what little of her uniform that had remained on.

“Like you wear anything else when we go to sleep.” Levi pointedly stated but handed her one of his shirts anyway. 

She giggled then slipped the shirt over her head, hugging the collar toward her nose to smell his scent had lingered on the fabric. She hummed happily, pulling back the blanket of the bed and shimmed comfortably under it. 

Once Levi blew out the lantern nearby, and dressed down, leaving himself in nothing but his underwear, he joined Y/N under the blanket, wrapping his arm around her back and pulling her into his chest. The moonlight shining a bit through the curtains of the room provided just enough light to be able to see her eyes staring adoringly up at him. 

“I love you.” She said suddenly. 

He scoffed, though dipped his head down to kiss her forehead. “You already said that.”

She snuggled closer into him, her arms wrapping around him as well. “I’m saying it again. I love you.”

This time he actually laughed. “I love you too, you know that.”

“I know.” She tucked her head to lay on his chest, savoring the feeling of having him so close. 

“Now go to sleep, we need to get up early.” Levi half-heartedly demanded, sensing his own exhaustion setting in. He glance over to see that Y/N reaching the cusp of sleep, her breathing starting to steady out and her body relaxing under his touch. 

With one final kiss to her hair, Levi too let himself drift off.

[juleswritesstuff]

Saw a post that said "James' thighs are meant to be ridden" and, well...enjoy 🤭

james potter x reader

warnings: smut

It was honestly so unfair.

They were there at anyone’s display, exposed, and under everyone’s eyes. Something that you would've liked to keep only for you, but you knew it would've been rather impossible.

And it was so fucking unfair. 

James' thighs were to die for.

They were plump and firm, muscle flexing with every movement as he ran on the pitch screaming orders to pass the Quaffle or informing his team mates on other strategies that might’ve been useful during the game. Inches and inches of soft, smooth and tanned skin that made your mouth water and your head spin. 

What did he need all those muscles for ?

He flew on a broom for Merlin’s sake, he didn’t need all of that.

“I really don’t know what you’re on about. There are some muggle athletes that have thighs twice as big as his, why are you drooling- oh my God Y/n, stop eyefucking him right now or so Godric help me”

Well, James was your boyfriend. You had every right to eyefuck him, thank you very much.

Apparently Marlene didn’t think the same things you thought when you even as much as caught the smallest glimpse of James’ delicious looking thighs clad in a pair of shorts during Quidditch practice.

And, well, she was right. His thighs weren't enormously big, you too had seen bigger, but they were muscular nonetheless. They were firm, and sturdy and they made you feel so good when they flexed just right and the perfectly smooth skin made contact with your crotch, sending bolts of pleasure down your spine and to your core.

Because, yeah, James wasn't stupid and he definitely noticed the way you gawked at him when he wore shorts or pants that were a bit more tight-fitting than usual.

The smirk on his face became even more mischievous, pleased even, when he felt your eyes on him.

“You know you can -ah, try if you want to, right ?” he asked you once.

He was sitting on his bed, dorm room empty, Sirius, Remus and Peter nowhere to be seen. You were plopped on his lap, one leg on each side, straddling him with your hands fisting his hair lightly, just how you knew he liked it, your lips slotted in a filthy kiss.

Tongues swirling and teeth biting teasingly as you rocked back and forth right on his taint, feeling the outline of his cock through his shorts, filling more and more with each roll of your hips.

He stopped just for a second, enough time to ask the question through broken whimpers.

“Try what ?” you asked back, taking his bottom lip between your teeth to nibble lightly, swiping your tongue on it right after.

He didn't answer, apparently too lost in the gentle friction of your groin against his, but not lost enough to not be able to grab your waist gently, lifting you up like you were deadweight, and maneuvering your position until you were straddling his left thigh, rather than his waist.

As soon as you sat on it fully a moan ripped through your mouth.

Oh, that felt delicious.

The firm flesh and tight, flexed muscles making contact with your core made your eyes roll.

You still had your underwear on, not even able to fully undress as soon as your mouth connected with James’, but if it felt that good with fabric in the way, even though fine and now completely drenched, you couldn't even imagine how it would feel if that little piece of cloth disappeared.

Just the idea made your insides melt.

So, logically, you took your panties off as fast as you could.

And so did he with his boxers.

When your bare core made contact with the tanned skin you almost came on the spot.

You started to rock back and forth without even realizing it, shocks of pleasure traveling through your whole body.

“Fuck, baby look at you” James let out in a breath, his voice less whimpery, but still strained. His eyes were adoring and veiled with lust.

“How-oh, fuck, how did you know ?” you asked, your arms resting on his shoulders for support and your head tilted back after a particularly good flex of his muscle made you see stars, broken moans falling off your lips.

“You're as subtle as a Bludger in the face, love” he said with an airy laugh that died on his throat as soon as your knee came in contact with his cock, now rock-hard and leaking pre-cum.

You wet your lips unconsciously.

Oh, to feel that familiar weight in your mouth as your head bobbed up and down slowly, teasing him with your tongue.

Another time.

“Am I ? And here I thought I was being discreet” you said, the sarcasm in your tone broken by the little sounds of pleasure that kept rolling out of your mouth.

You couldn't help it, it felt so good.

He felt so good.

“I could feel your eyes all over me, my legs and my ass. So much about being-shit, discreet” 

“It's not my fault -ah, fuck, do that again please, you're built like a goodamn statue, Jamie”

“Oh, am I now ?” he asked teasingly, but he couldn't keep a string of low groans from escaping his throat.

“You know you are, stop acting all coy” you said in a whisper after a particular roll of your hips had hit just right, exactly where you needed it.

He pulled you closer to him and started to kiss your shoulder, your collarbone, your neck, every fucking centimeter of your body until he reached your lips and he dived in like a starved man.

“You're the one who looks majestic, baby” he whispered directly on your mouth, your lips still touching “fuck, look at you. Riding my thigh so well. Tell me, why didn't we do this sooner ? How could you deprive me of such a sight ? I know you wanted to baby” he started to stroke his cock lazily, his eyes taking in your figure as you moved sinfully.

His words made you moan again, and again.

His hands on your hips guiding you gently as you rocked back and forth slowly, trying to drag the pleasure as much as you could.

“I- it was embarrassing” you cried in a whimper when his mouth latched to one of your nipples, sucking gently, tenderly, before grazing lightly with his teeth, making you hiss.

“Didn't want to make a fool of myself, if you said no” you explained as rationally as you possibly could with the amount of pleasure you were feeling.

“As if I could ever say no to you, Y/n. You know I'll do anything you ask me, baby. I would crawl on the floor right fucking now if you wanted me to” he breathed right on your skin, eyes hazy and filled with lust, but still glued to yours.

“Would you ?” you asked as your hands found place through his hair, tugging lightly, cradling dark brown locks between your fingers. Your hips were still moving relentlessly, swaying in a sultry rhythm that made your veins fill with fire.

“You know I would. I’d do anything for you” he said before kissing you again, till both your lips were red and bruised and you were in dire need of oxygen.

“Ah, fuck. Of course you would, you’re such a good boy, aren’t you ?” you said with a grin and in seconds you got to witness James’ expression crumbling, eyes wide and mouth agape as a sob fell out of his gorgeous lips.

“Holy shit, you know how that gets me, baby” he said, breathless. The grip on your hips tightened slightly.

Of course you knew. His eagerness for praises never went unnoticed by you.

“Do you know why I love to say it so much, Jamie ?” you asked as you stopped moving on his thigh only to get back to you initial position, right over his now completely filled out cock.

You took it in your hand delicately, stroking lazily, feeling the velvety soft skin and the little veins scattered along his length.

He hissed through his teeth and looked at you with pleading eyes.

“Why ? he asked in a broken moan as you kept moving your hand up and down.

When you stopped, it was only to hover right above him, aligning his length directly at your entrance.

Then you tipped forward, lips directly on the shell of his ear.

“Beacuse when I say it you always fuck me so good that i’m barely able to think” you whispered, and after a second you were sitting fully on his cock, bottoming out head to base.

He let out a groan and threw his head back banging it to the wall, but he didn't seem to feel the pain, probably because your slick warmth was all he could think about at the moment. His head was spinning, his breath ragged and he couldn't even form a coherent word.

You rolled your eyes, feeling all of him inside of you. The tip of his cock buried so deep inside you that it caressed your cervix with every single breath he took.

“Fuck-fuck, you’re so fucking tight you’re squeezing me, love” he said once his brain started to, barely, work again. 

You took a couple more seconds to adjust and get used to the, much more than welcome, intrusion, but, not even a moment after, you started to sway your hips again.

The breath got knocked out of your lungs, your eyes rolled back so far in your skull that, if you weren’t literally fucking yourself on the best dick you had ever taken, you would’ve been concerned.

James’ hands found home on your ass, gripping so hard you were sure there would've been bruises by the next day.

A souvenir you were eager to see.

You bounced up and down mercilessly.

The coil in your belly started to grow stronger and stronger.

But your legs were tired, almost ready to give out and you let out a broken sob at the thought.

But James, wonderful, amazing, handsome, sexy James knew you like the back of his hand and he noticed.

Of course he noticed.

In a heartbeat hands were on your hips, stilling your movement. You wanted to protest. You wanted to tell him that you couldn't stop now. He’d been such a good boy letting you ride his thigh, he deserved to come.

You couldn't even utter a word before James’ hips snapped up and he was buried deep inside of you again, filling you up and leaving you breathless.

“It’s ok, baby. I got it from here” he said in a whisper before he started pounding inside of you like a fucking machine.

His thrusts were hard and deep, making you see stars, planets and entire galaxies.

Your brain was foggy, clouded with lust and the sounds of your and James’s moans blended together.

“James-Jamie” you whimpered. You were close, you were so close you could feel it in your veins, the fire getting so hot, scorching even.

You just needed- 

“Come baby, you’ve been such a good girl for me” 

The coil in your tummy snapped, your brain went blank and a drowned out moan fell from your lips as your head tilted back in the most breath-taking of pleasures.

James got his release too. Thick ribbons of white painting your insides as you helped each other ride out your orgasms.

You surged forward to kiss him lazily, languidly, without a care in the world. You nibbled at his lower lip, always so plump and inviting and he let out a soft chuckle.

“Merlin, you really like sucking on my lips” he said, bumping his nose with yours in a cute gesture.

“I like to suck on a lot of things of yours” you mused with a grin. His eyes widened a bit and you could feel his cock twitch, suddenly interested again.

“Shit, baby, you can't say things like that when I'm still inside of you” he groaned in a pained voice, burying his head in the crook of your neck.

“So, no round two ?” you asked, acting all innocent, but you had a smirk on your lips that he, still hiding on your collarbone, couldn't see.

He lifted his head so fast that you were afraid he would've broken his neck.

“I would love nothing more baby, but aren't your legs tired ?” he asked, while tucking a strand of your hair, messy and a bit matted thanks to him, behind your ear, stroking your cheeks with the pads of his fingers while he was there.

“Oh, yeah. I can't even feel them anymore thanks to you, your amazing thighs and your glorious cock” 

He laughed, tipping his head back with a smile that could outshine the sun.

Warmth spread inside your chest and the corners of your lips turned up, mirroring him.

“My ‘glorious cock’ huh ?” he said, his shoulders still shaking with laughter “is it that good ?” he asked, lifting an eyebrow with a cheeky grin.

You bent forward, kissing his lips sweetly.

“The best” you whispered right on his mouth.

“Just my dick ? Nothing else ?” he questioned, his hands on your hips as his thumbs drew imaginary circles on your skin and his eyes flicked to you with a mischievous glint.

“Ah, and your thighs of course. How could I forget ?” you said, teasing him.

You really hadn't noticed, but he kept his glasses on the whole time. That meant that he got to savor every single blissed-out roll of your eyes, bit of your lips, scrunch of your eyebrows, and mouth parted in pleasure.

It honestly made you a little giddy inside.

You laughed when a pout appeared on his beautiful features.

“You're not funny, you know ? I knew you just wanted me for my body” he said, but his little smile was teasing and it started to get bigger and bigger.

“I actually wanted you for your ‘O’ in DADA, but, sure, that works too” you said teasing further.

“What ?!” he asked, actually bewildered “really ?!”

You rolled your eyes, fondness gushing out from all your pores.

Merlin, why did he have to be so cute ?

“No, James. I love you because you're one of the best people I know. You're nice, funny, charismatic, smart -well that only sometimes- and you have the biggest heart. You're good. You're so good, baby. Your smoking hot body and your incredible ability to fuck me stupid are just bonuses” you said as your hands cradled through his hair softly.

Then you left a kiss on his cheek, on his nose, his temple, the high part of his cheekbone, until you reached his lips where he proceeded to melt.

He wrapped his arms around you and brought you closer, seeming to forget that he was still balls deep inside of you.

You let out a small hiss as you shuddered at his little movement.

"Careful, baby. Sensitive” you said a bit breathy.

“Fuck, sorry. I'm sorry, love. Do you want me to-”

“Don't you even dare move” you told him, keeping him close to you. Arms looped around his neck as you faced him.

A confused frown settled on his forehead.

“I don't wanna go yet. I like staying like this” you confessed. Your fingers ran all over his face, tracing every nook and angle.

The corner of his eyes, his brows, his nose, cheeks. And finally his lips.

“But your legs-”

“Oh, don't worry, they’re just a bit numb. After we catch our breath a little, I want you to make them fucking shake” 

He stilled for a second, and then he was on your lips again ,hungry and even more eager than before, placing a kiss on them after every word.

“You” kiss “are” kiss “so” kiss “goddamn” kiss “perfect”.

Let's just say your ability to walk was severely compromised for a couple of days.

[httpsghostie]

ok this is the video i mentioned, like imagine könig in this, i want to tie his hands and feet and make a mess out of him :((( imagine him crying out of frustration that he can't touch you (and he makes a mental note to punish you as soon as he gets released), so overwhelmed and trying to scape the entire time, so cute :(( you make the context, my brain isn't creative enough to think of how we end up in this situation. sorry if i misspelled something and again i love your blog it's amazing !!*:! also i'm sorry if this make you unconfortable somehow idk?

Enemy pt 1

pt 2

TW: porn

and I strike again with another questionable scenario

this is just... I... uhm... well...

there's no such thing as crossing the limits with me I'm a fucking whore

Summary: you interrogate an enemy soldier in a different approach.

Word Count: 1,5k

Warnings: smut, König x female!reader, they're both a bit crazy, male overstimulation, edging, knife play (if you squint), glove kink, no use of y/n

masterlist

Recently, your team had brought an enemy for interrogation, and you were the one assigned to get the job done.

"Make him talk, we don't care how." They said.

You got in the cell, hands sweating nervously as you saw the man you were dealing with. You've met before, a long while ago, and he didn't change a thing. He's still arrogant, like he wasn't far within a hostile environment, his hands and feet in chains, in a cell that has never seen daylight. The only thing in the room being the chair he was sitting on and a fucked up mattress.

You crossed your arms as you entered the room, not knowing if he was able to recognize you from the mask you wore. But your voice, he could never forget the sweet melody of your voice moaning his name a few years ago when he fucked you senseless at an abandoned house, in the middle of war.

It happened fast, you were sweeping the place and he was there. You missed your shot when he pushed your gun upwards and tried to strangle you, but soon backed down when saw you were a defenseless damsel in distress.

And you found yourself pressed against a wall being fucked by an enemy soldier, just because he felt like it.

You try to shake off the thoughts that creep on your dirty brain, and as soon as the door gets locked behind you, his body relaxes on the chair. 

"So, we meet again." He cleared his throat. Pretentious prick. 

"König." You start, raising your eyebrows. "I guess you won't be using your free will to tell me what the code is, will you?" You walked towards him, he was still tall, even when he was sunk on the chair with his legs spreaded.

"My free will has better things to do than to hand out codes like candy at a parade. I prefer keeping my secret to myself. Yours too." You could feel the creepy smile that lit up his face. How could you ever do that to yourself?

"They won't believe you." You shrug, slowly walking from side to side on the cell, arms behind your back, your heavy boots hitting the concrete floor. "They're too busy torturing your general for info." His eyes widened and he straightened himself on the chair, tensing up. "So, what are you hiding, pretty boy?"

He flexed his muscles in response, trying to get rid of the chains that kept him restrained. But the praise, coming from your lips, it was impossible for him to contain an enormous wave of heat that destroyed any ounce of self respect he had. He lowered his head, but looked at you through his eyebrows.

"I assume we'll have to do this the hard way then." You took the knife from your belt and stood in front of him, running it along his collarbone and stopping at his chin, lifting it up. "Such a beautiful pair of eyes you got, 'wonder what you hide behind that hood." You say, lifting the fabric of his mask.

"Gonna use flirting as your way to get around this?" He chuckles, looking away.

"I'm offended." You fake a gasp and hold a hand to your chest. "Wasn't that what you did to me?" You're just able to get a laugh from him.

"You wanted that to happen." He looked at your eyes again.

"And you're wanting, too." You stick the knife in the wooden chair between his legs and he jolts in panic.

"Fuck, are you insane?" He looks down and at you again, and you laugh. 

You crouch in front of him, spreading his legs further, and laying your elbow on his thigh. The tip of your finger touches the end of your knife and plays with it, watching how his thighs tense.

"I might be." You say, looking at him. "But I always get what I want."

"You're fucking crazy." He chuckles and looks to the sides, trying to contain his embarrassment as a bulge slowly shows up on his pants.

You take the knife from the chair and put it on your belt again, moving your gloved hands towards his belt and pulling him up. He's heavy as fuck, it was almost impossible to do it if he didn't stand up, towering over you.

You pushed him back, and because of his feet tangled in chains, he fell back on the mattress, bucking his hips up as you eagerly unfastened his belt.

"You weren't this straightforward when we first met." He chuckled and looked up.

"What can I say? 'Guess your taste is addictive." You remembered the bitter taste of his release when he ruthlessly fucked your throat back in that house.

You pulled his hard member out, lifting your mask just below your nose to spit on it, and he whines as you wrap your gloved hand around it, jerking it up and down slowly. He pleads, trying to fuck your hand, but you pull away chuckling and he sighs.

"Let's make a deal, shall we?" You ran your finger along his length, stopping at his tip.

"I won't talk." He gritted his teeth.

"Then you won't cum." You give him a sly smile as you pull the mask down again.

Your hand grabs his dick, jerking it roughly, and he can't help but whine as he tries to get away from your touch. He's so desperate it's pathetic, and he moans as you set the pace.

He tries to move, to get away from the chains, he thinks about how bad he wants to be free and pin you down on the mattress and fuck you until you're begging him to stop, knowing he wouldn't stop until he was satisfied.

Your touch becomes too much on him, almost too harsh to bear, and he cries as he feels his cock throbbing as hard as it could, knowing that he wouldn't last long if you kept going this way.

And suddenly, as he's about to cum, you pull away again, leaving him whimpering at the sudden loss of contact.

"Fuck, why did you do this?" He whines desperately.

"It's simple, you give me what I want and I'll give you what you want." You shrug, grabbing his member once again and going fast on it. He cries, feeling his high approaching once again.

"I'm not talking." He shakes uncontrollably.

"Aww, stubbornness only turns me on." You say. He's too overwhelmed to think about an answer, trying to get away from your grip.

You feel his body tensing up again, his hips bucking up, chasing his so wanted release. Your hand keeps its pace, but your other one blocks his tip just as he's about to cum, watching his vein twitch. He's crying and cursing at you in german, his heavy balls filled with cum as he was being denied once again.

"Come on, I'm not gonna let go until you tell me, and it's only gonna hurt more." You say, letting his dick fall back to his stomach, and one of your hands grabs his balls. He's still shaking, completely overstimulated, and you use your thighs to make him stay put.

"I only know part of it, alright?" It comes out high pitched as his voice cracks, you could feel the pain in his eyes. "The general too, and your team is going to need more than just us for the full code if you want to stop that damn operation." It's almost impossible to understand his german accent at how fast he speaks, his chest rising up and down.

His cock twitches, his tip was red and leaking, and you decide that's probably all that he's going to say, and plus you needed him for his part of the code. 

"That's it, please, maus, it's hurting." He cries. Maybe he deserved to get his award now.

"Such a good boy you are, huh, see? It wasn't hard." You stroke his dick, the praise enough to make him see stars. 

As you increase your movements, he becomes a whimpering mess once again, and deep in his brain he's thinking of how pretty you would look with his cock buried in your pussy, and how bad he will ruin you once he has his hands on you.

It's too much to take, he's trembling, making it hard for you to keep him still. And he can't hold back any longer, his thick cum spouting on your gloves and his shirt.

"Maus, please, stop." He pleads, his body giving in. You clean your gloves on his clothed thighs and get up, leaving him there, covered in white. You stand there, looking down at him and his softening length, and slowly walk towards the door. "Where are you going? Don't leave me like this."

You knock two times on the door and one of your men unlocks it. You open it, looking back at König, still there, still messy, still panting and angry, spitting out as you leave.

"You're gonna pay for this."

[heartofjasmina]

Hear me out: ageplay w Fatgum. He's enormous it would be so easy to feel tiny and safe with him! Plus the man's always got candy, he'd be such a sweet daddy~ #askgame

when i looked up how tall he is... i need to sit down

Taishiro was many things, but 'a man who was able to resist when his baby said please daddy' was not one of them.

No matter what it was, he couldn't say no to you when you asked him like that. So you got the candy, or the doll, or the stuffed animal, every fucking time.

He spoiled you rotten, and you knew it too.

"Who's daddy's spoiled baby?" He would always ask, usually when he was balls deep inside you and making you cling to his large frame for support. His size was a challenge for you to take but when you were both patient nothing was better than feeling so full you thought you'd burst. (You told him once how sex during regression felt overhwhelming in the best of ways, how you needed to hold on tight to him to feel safe while you felt good.)

"I am daddy!" You cried out your nails digging into his shoulders as you moaned into his ear.

"That's right sweetheart, and you spoil daddy with your perfect fucking pussy don't you?" Taishiro loved how easily emotional you got from his praise, a wobbly smile on your lips and hearts in your eyes as you looked up at him above you.

"Jus' for daddy," you nodded and held him closer.

So yeah, you might be spoiled rotten and a little bratty when you don't get your way, but Taishiro doesn't care.

He gets spoiled too.

[redflagshipwriter]

Hot Ghouls Chapter 11 1/2

masterpost

“It’s hard to believe that these people aren’t on any warning lists yet,” Jason mumbled to himself at the base of the sidewalk where he’d parked the rental bike. He had his hands in his pockets as he craned his neck upwards, trying to be stoic about the Fenton residence. A van was parked on the street, probably theirs. Weirdly, it had a big canvas draped over it. All he could see were the tires.

The base of the house was an unremarkable brick rectangle, taller than it was long. But the customization job had not been subtle. There was of course the enormous neon sign that Jack Fenton had probably designed. He wondered if he saw Madeline Fenton’s guiding hand in the shitty space-age aesthetic of the hulking metal goliath crouched on top of the brick building.

There was zero percent chance that was legal, which led to the question of why the city officials weren’t enforcing building safety on an obvious hazard.

Jason blew out air and snorted. “This is definitely the place.” He jogged up the unkempt lawn and hit the bell. An alarm started whining inside.

His hackles went up. A hand curled towards a gun, but didn't fully commit.

A joyful whoop came from inside the house. It was quickly followed by a bellowed “Coming!”, and then a huge thud.

Very normal, thanks.

‘Is that really just their doorbell?’ Jason thought, aghast.

The door was wrenched open. “Hello, hello, come in!” A beautiful middle-aged woman was there, looking up only slightly to make eye contact with Jason. She had faint laugh and smile lines.

“Hello,” Jason said, hesitating. “Do you need to finish up in the lab?” He gestured at her outfit, a little unnerved to see protective equipment just out in the open. It made him feel underdressed. It was always a bad idea to be wearing less protection from chemical warfare than someone else in the area. His Gothamite sensibilities considered it both a faux pas and a tactical error.

Madeline Fenton made a flapping hand gesture to blow the idea away. “No, I'm at a good spot!” The grin she gave him was somehow sharklike. “Jeremy, honey, won’t you come in?”

‘Said the spider to the fly,’ his subconscious filled in for some reason.

Jason shook it off, thanked her, and entered the house. Then he drew his gun on the thing that levered out of nowhere to point at him.

Turret. It was a fucking gun turret, in the entryway.

Madeline Fenton let out a cheerful “Huh!” and put her hand on top of the turret. There was a faint beep as she disengaged whatever alarm that had been. “You don’t have any stowaways, do you?”

She was not a good enough actor. He didn’t know what the hell that he meant, but he could hear real tension beneath her cheerful tone. “No, ma’am,” Jason edged. “Not that I know of.”

There was a pause. It felt a little heavy. Jason slowly holstered his gun, despite the wary suspicion that he actually might need to defend himself.

The moment passed. Dr. Madeline Fenton whirled around and cupped a hand to her face to sweetly shout, “Jack! Honey! Our guest is here!”

Something extremely heavy thudded. The floor actually shook under Jason’s feet from the impact.

The smile on Dr. Madeline Fenton’s face didn’t falter. A chill went up his spine.

‘She has to be on a watchlist. No way. I just didn’t find it.’

He followed her to the living room where she gestured for him to take a seat. A huge man burst through the other door.

“What did they feed you?” Jason asked blankly. “Do they have more of it?” Sure, he’d never fit in his current gear, but Talia had deep pockets for custom armor.

Dr. Jack Fenton had a hearty laugh. The couch creaked when he threw himself on it, but impressively, nothing broke. “Standard stuff growing up I’m afraid,” he said cheerfully. “I feed myself an awful lot of fudge, though! Maybe that’s what did it.”

While he was talking Jason barely noticed Madeline Fenton had slunk off in horrifically perfect silence, like a red-haired Talia. He respected that, but he did not like it.

‘She’s going to be the Doctor to me,’ Jason decided. ‘Jack is just Jack. I’m tired of calling them the same thing.’

“Oh,” Jason pretended to just now notice that someone was gone. He looked around. “I’m sorry, where did Dr. Fenton go?”

“Just getting refreshments!” Jack said cagily. He leaned forward. “Now, Jeremy, son-” he was cut off by a low siren coming from his wrist. He paused. He lifted his hand and pointed it around the room. The noise got louder when he pointed it at Jason.

[mirusuchanne]

⌕Beach and a bikini - Theodore Nott

Warnings: smut, dirty talk, desperation, mention of smoking, fingering under water, unprotected sex, trying to hold in moans while others are watching.

A/N: girlies are thirstier in the summer, so I'm giving you the smuttiest smut, enjoy!

Summer vacation with lots of fun, with tiny bikinis which barely covered five percent of your body was all fun and games for you. But not for one specific person. He didn't like others seeing the body he just fucked , the body he pleasured in an inhumane way just a couple of days ago. You were avoiding him, since you didn't want any bruises on your body with those tiny bikinis on. It would be really embarrassing for you, so you kept away from him and his touches.

Well, he had enough. You were splashing water towards Pansy and giggling, you were both having fun. Lorenzo and Blaise joined you too, hitting you with enormous waves. You jumped back at the sudden mass of water Zabini threw at you. Your hair got all wet, you shot up from water and gasped, sliding your hands down your hair.

It was silent, until Blaise said:

"Well, that was hot"

"Oh, shut the fuck up, I know" you answered as you felt someone's sharp, direct look. It almost burnt your skin. You looked at the shore, just to see Theo dressed in a fancy suit above a beach shirt (typical Italian man) , smoking a cigarette and looking at you with darkened eyes. His jaw was clenched, muscles tense and the eyes spoke the words of danger.

"Join us, Nott!" Lorenzo yelled as he saw him too.

You knew he was desperate, 𝘴𝘰 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘦. He turned into a villain without you. Cigarette was his second favourite thing: you were his first favorite thing to smoke, more directly- to suck on and to swallow everything from. For him, you were more addicting than nicotine.

With a swift motion, but also painfully slowly, he took the last puff out of his cig and threw it between the rocky sand. Then he took off his shirt, revealing the body of a Greek god, following his trousers- he already had swim shorts on. Well, he knew what he was doing. He decided to join you in the water, and there was no way you could escape him that moment. He started walking towards the water, not even flinching to the dead cold water, not stopping to ease the cold, just moving directly towards you. You gulped from fear and tiny bit of excitement. When the water got deeper, he swam right next to you as you felt his hand slide down on your waist. Right, teasing.

Pansy and the boys went on with playing. You were dead silent.

"Missed me, principessa?" He asked quietly and chuckled. "You thought I was going to sit in the corner like a puppy-" he groaned and squeezed your ass "-and fantasize about fucking you, hmm? You thought I was not going to do anything? Huh?" He squeezed you harder, until you couldn't breath even though his hands were only on your ass and thighs. "Oh, you forgot how to talk now?" His accent got heavier. He was up to something, and you quickly realized that when his fingers went down your panties.

You bit my bottom lip to prevent a whimper escaping your lips. "T-theo" you mumbled. Your mind was gone all blank. He was drugging you with his touch, in the water, in front of everyone. "Please" you whispered and closed your eyes.

"Is something wrong?" Pansy asked. You felt his hot breath on your neck.

"No, I'm alright" you mumbled. "I'm just.. Seasick?"

"You're fucking stupid" Pansy laughed and turned back to the boys, shooting a water at them.

"Looks like you're enjoying all this, huh?" He whispered and softly bit the sensitive area behind your ear. "Getting fingered under the water in such a tiny bikini? Holding in your moans for me? you don't deserve such treatment, principessa, but here I am, making you go crazy for me. My service also works under the water, you know that now"

The harsh and dirty talk in between his tough thursts really made you go crazy. "Ngghhhh~" it was really all you could say, and biting your lip and pinching your eyes shut was all you could do. He adjusted second finger, and quickly, third.

"Oh, I didn't know getting fucked in front of others was one of your sexual fantasies" he whispered again, and you couldn't bear it anymore. Overstimulation suddenly hit you, your stomach curled in a circle and you were suddenly going to explode from all the teasing. He felt that too, he knew you better than you knew yourself. Suddenly, he pulled out and slid his hand out of you bikini underwear. You groaned in disbelief and desperation.

He slowly took his hand out of water and sucked on his fingers softly. Blaise looked at him in confusion, and Theodore added:

"Water is tasty in here" with a dirty little smirk on his face. He looked at you up and down and you frowned in anger, swimming away to leave the water. When you finally escaped the cold water, you realized that you couldn't walk properly. That fucker made you forgot how to walk just with his three fingers.

You furiously entered the changing cabin on the beach. It also had a shower, so you let the water pour on your face and body. You closed your eyes and relaxed, your mind suddenly shifted to what just happened. Suddenly, you heard someone's deep voice:

"Look who forgot to lock the door" shit, you had forgotten it. Or, maybe you did it on purpose so Theodore would join you? You didn't really think of that, you were already making out with him roughly and desperately. He squeezed your ass and removed your bikini, looking at your breasts with admiration. He kissed one of your boob passionately, and gently stroked the other.

"You have no idea how much I've missed you" he said and his words sent vibrations to your skin, going down your spine like a cold air. Water was pouring on both of you, you cought his hair and ran your fingers though it. "Baby, keep going" you moaned as he went down your core and slid his tongue across your folds. You gasped in pleasure.

He started eating you out like a desert. His desire to taste you had grown stronger and stronger, and you could see it too.

"Spread you legs" he demanded and you did so. With a sharp motion, his shaft was already moving back and forth against your cunt, and without you even realizing, he slammed in his full length. You turned into a moaning mess, feeling as your walls tightened around his member. His motions were slow from the start so you could get accustomed to his length, but then he went wild. The sound of your skins clapping went louder and louder, his groans got more and more desperate, and motions faster and faster. That was all you yelled. "𝘍𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳.. 𝘕𝘨𝘩𝘩𝘩~ 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬, 𝘧𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳!~"

And he followed your command. He was close, and you were too. Finally, he pulled out and shoot his erection on your ass, rubbing it on your skin.

"Fuck, we should take this to the hotel room before you fully forget how to walk, principessa" you felt his hot chuckle against your skin, and you nodded with loud, exhausted breathing escaping your lips.

"I'll have to wear bigger bikinis now, I probably have lots of brusises" you sighed and took his hand to straighten yourself.

[writingoddess1125]

Darling I am SO SORRY for adding yet another request to the already enormous pile but OH MY GOD your buggy family saga keeps me thinking! The way buggy wants to have daughters! The way the twins have regular noses but CONSIDER!!!! him and his lady having a baby girl and AHHHH she got his nose!!! Little cherry baby! At first he's so afraid because of his own I security and then he's DETERMINED that his baby girl will never feel that shame or I security neverrr

Cherry Babies 🍒

- Support me on Ko-fi please, For Ramen 🍜

- Old Man Series

• Buggy is head over heels in Love with his Daughters. Ari and Ali- has shown them off to everyone and holds them constantly.

• "Look at my daughters! They are so beautiful! Makes your baby look ugly!" He laughs at a random villager-

• You having to apologize and just explain he's excited-

• Calls them a host of Nicknames like with the Twins. The boys he always calls Peanuts or Double trouble.

• For the girls he has adopted Cherries or Bubble & Squeak. Mainly due to Ari Seeming to always be blowing spit bubbles which he has to clean and Ali being the more vocal of twin and making a host of random noises.

• He trains Dee and Bee more- Wanting them to learn how to protect their sisters and guard them.

• Speaking of the boys, They love their sisters. At first they were jealous assuming that the babies would steal all of the attention, That was till they returned from the ship after your labor and found that you would be in deep recovery from the birth. So Buggy was dealing with the girls mostly- thats when the boys decided to help their father till you were better and fell in love with them just like Buggy did.

• The twins had become massive helps to You and Buggy. Often without even needing to be asked-

• A few weeks after the birth Buggy walked into the nursery to check on the girls and found Dee asleep leaned next to the crib were the girls were and Bee asleep on the floor.

• Buggy had never felt such a strong swell of pride before and picked up the boys and tucked them into their proper beds that night. A smile on his face the whole time

• If anyone mentions their noses- GOES APE SHIT

• A nurse was the first one to be on the end of this treatment- It was there one month check up and the Doctor had given the clear the girls were happy and healthy. He had brought his assistant a young male nurse with him to help with things like weighing both twins and documenting results.

• Buggy caught his eye staring at thier noses and his eyes narrowed dangerously. The nurse fucked up though when he said 'Do we check the noses?.. was that normal?"

• The Doctor and you knowing that there was no stopping Buggy as he screamed in the Nurses face and proceeded to beat him to death-

• He will constantly be paranoid something Is wrong with the girls.

• "(Y/N) Why is she crying like this?" He panics as he holds Ari who is crying hard. You walk over calmly to see the man on the verse of tears as you do a quick check over and touch her rounded stomach which immediately leads to a dart and her quieting down.

• "She just has gas-" Buggy stares "Oh-"

• When the twins open their eyes and start to look around Buggy is overjoyed. Especially when he sees they have his eyes, Is immediately swooned.

• AKA HE THROWS A PARTY

• Buggy of course had thrown another party, Like he did with all his kids it seemed. Dee figuring out how to read the maps- Party. Bee making his first Bomb- Party so now that the girls had opened their eyes- PARTY

• It's a massive event with his entire crew involved. Food, Music, Drinks, the works.

• You catch him buzzed off his ass swaying to some music while holding the twins against his chest. You go to protest and scold him- But notice he is actually levitating by his ankles to keep from tripping as well as using the baby scarf to hold them up.

• It was oddly cute? Here was this pirate, high bounty and nasty reputation red in the face singing along to the music while holding his daughters.

• Ari is wide awake looking around at all the new things while Ali is peacefully asleep cuddled into Buggys chest.

• When he turns you see Bee asleep on his back, like a piggyback ride.

• You of course snap the picture of Buggy holding three kids at once.

• Will want to set back to sea by the Girls 3rd month and has the ship ready by then. He knows its difficult but feels safer on the sea then on land ironically as well as He has been on this island for a year and doesn't want to lose his reputation.

[neoarchipelago]

And they were roommates (part 11)

A/N: I hope this works because my internet is KILLING ME.

Warning: 18+ content SHIT IS STARTING TO GET REAL.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

The next day, you and Simon had driven to the house. It felt like two parents visiting a house to move in with their kids. It made you laugh. The house was enormous. 4 bedrooms, three bathrooms, a spacious kitchen, a big living room with a tv big enough to feel like at the cinema.  A very modern house painted in dark tones. All that you liked. You had looked at Kate and General Hopkins as he spoke.

"You deserve some comfort. You've been such a great asset-"  

"You're trying to give me a luxurious house because I almost got killed." 

The silence set for a minute, Ghost grabbing the back of your pants as he stood behind you. 

"Yes… pretty much" the general admitted. 

You rolled your eyes. Kate shook her head. 

"You also deserve it. Plus you need a bigger space since you are having even more roommates." She smiled. 

You sighed. Ghost ran his thumb on your lower back, soothing you. It sent a shiver down your spine. He loved to do this. You had noticed it. These little touches, hidden from others. It grounded you to him. If you felt anxious, nervous or tense. You loved it. He couldn't stop touching you. 

The week after, you had moved in. Gaz and Soap were sharing a room, Konig had his own room and Ghost and you too. You had wanted to share Ghost's room but to keep things slow you had both preferred to stay like that. You'd share each other's beds in any way. Soap and Gaz were thrilled, Konig was too but in his own quiet way. Ghost seemed tense already. 

"Hey… you alright?" You asked when the boys were a bit further away in the house. 

"Starting to regret living with these idiots already." 

"Konig's quiet." 

"Wait until they play board games." 

You had laughed. 

You had settled in your room nicely. The space felt much bigger than your old apartment. However it felt less empty. Even from your room you could hear the boys laughing, or the TV playing. You smiled to yourself. Things had changed so much in a few months. You didn't regret it at all. 

You were putting away your clothes in your new walk in closet. You were at peace, finally. Walking back into your room, you yelped when you noticed someone sitting on top of your bed. 

"What the-" 

You squinted your eyes. You knew it was him. You would have recognized him even in the dark. But… him, sitting there, without his mask on, made your heart beat as if it wanted to leave your chest. 

"Fuck… even your face is hot." You let out. 

You immediately blushed when you realized that once more your mouth had been faster than your brain. 

You tried to hide your blushing face in your hands as you heard him laugh. 

"Come here bunny." 

You dropped your hands, biting your lip and walking to him. You stood in between his legs. 

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you…" 

You smiled, finally holding his face in your hands as his arms wrapped around your waist. 

"I was happily surprised." You whispered. 

He closed his eyes letting his face rest in between your chest, earning a chuckle from you. God he did look handsome. 

"I just… thought it was time to show you my face." He said, voice muffled by your own body. 

"I am honored. You don't have to if you feel uncomfortable." You assured him. 

"I feel safe with you. I don't mind at all." 

It made your heart jump in your chest. He felt safe with you. You wrapped your arms around his head, leaning your own on top of his. 

You remained like this for a little while until a knock was heard. 

"Hey guys!" Soap called. 

Simon groaned against you. You laughed. 

"Someone's here to see you!" 

You frowned. 

"We'll be downstairs in a minute Soap." You called back. 

You tried to separate the embrace but he held onto you. 

"Come on Simon. Let's go see who's there." You smiled at him. 

He stared at you for a long minute. 

"You're so pretty when you smile…"

You blushed heavily at the compliment. 

"Thank you…" you dropped a soft kiss on his lips. 

He sighed against your lips before you finally separated. He grabbed his mask that was thrown on top of the bed, only noticing it now, before dropping it over his head. 

You threw a last smile at him before you headed for the door. 

You walked down the stairs with him, meeting the rest of the house and Price in the living room. 

You turned your head to finally see your guests. Mellissa and Amy. 

"Oh Sparrow! Are you alright?" She was worried. 

"Y/N! Ghowsty!" Amy cheered. 

You could have laughed at the shocked expressions on the rest of the team. You finally reached them, taking Amy into your arms as she was impatiently extending hers towards you. 

"hey! How are you monkey?" you kissed her cheek making her giggle. 

As Simon came to a stop next to you she extended her arms to him. You had been beaten at this game. He was her favorite. You looked at him, his eyes not leaving you and the little girl in your arms. You saw something unfamiliar in his eyes before he extended his own arms to pick up the little girl.  

"gowsty!" she smiled at him. 

"hey little baby princess." he cooed. 

Yes. he did. And it made you melt on the spot. Melissa grinned and the rest of the room were absolutely shocked. It took one glance from ghost for them to look away. You rolled your eyes. You invited Melissa to come sit on the couch with everyone as ghost and Amy followed. She decided to sit on his lap and not move from there, playing with his skeleton gloves. 

"Boys, this is Melissa gallegos. She's my friend and the mother of this sweetheart, Amy." You cooed as well, softly brushing a strand of hair out of her face, making her giggle. Simon looked like he wanted to devour you for a split second. 

"this is Soap" you introduced. 

The little went into a giggle of laughter, making everyone melt in the room. 

"soap!" she repeated. 

The man in question blushed a bit, waving at her. 

"why you'calld soap?" she asked. 

The room temperature suddenly changed but Ghost was quick to move. 

"because he loves washing his hair." he lied. 

The truth was not something for her little ears. Soap looked a bit hurt but the rest laughed. 

"this, is Gas. because... because that's his name." Ghost said, taking the lead. 

"This.." 

For a second you were worried about her reaction towards Konig. He stood in the room a bit further away. He was trying to hide his big frame, probably not to scare the child but was failing. 

"this is Konig. He's... a friend." Ghost tried. It was clumsy. He was trying to find a way to make her accept the big guy. 

"Why he sow bwig?" she asked. 

"Amy..." Melissa started. 

"Because he's half giant." Ghost said, making everyone chuckle and Konig rubbed the back of his head. 

"he has supew powers?" she asked, not letting Konig out of her sight. 

"yes." he asked. 

"wat?" she asked.

"he gives the best hugs! and when you're in his arms you're super tall!" Soap said. 

She giggled. 

"thas not a supew power!" 

"ah! you should try!" he winked at her. 

She thought for a minute before extending her arms towards him, leaving you in a bit of shock. This little girl would never cease to amaze you. Konig had frozen on the spot. 

"Konig. Come here." Ghost ordered. 

You were going to protest, telling him not to force him if he was uncomfortable, but Konig moved forwards very slowly. Finally in front of Ghost and Amy, he picked her up very slowly as if she was made of glass. The little girl didn't say anything while looking around. 

"im tawler than everwyone!" she claimed happily, making everyone laugh. 

Konig looked relieved, until she looked into his eyes through the mask. She touched it a bit. 

"ah ah Amy. We talked about this." Melissa warned. 

"imno gonna take it off!" she said, looking offended.

It made you smile. As she turned back to the man. 

"you eyes awe pwetty. They blue" she said, making the monster of a man melt on the spot. 

She hugged him before asking to go back to ghost's lap. Konig was very flustered but walked back next to soap to sit on another couch. 

"This is Captain price. Or as Y/N calls him, dad." 

You gasped, looking at Ghost horrified. Everyone laughed. Amy was deep in thoughts. Before jumping from Ghost lap and running to price 

"gwandpaw!" 

Now Melissa looked horrified. It clicked so fast in your mind. How Melissa called you her sister and Amy's aunt. The very clever girl added 1+1 and decided that if you were her aunt and Price was your dad, obviously he was her grandfather. 

Price had looked taken aback but gladly held her in his arms. 

Ghost sulked a bit, suddenly not being the center of attention of the little girl. You left the boys being completely amazed by the little girl as you turned to melissa. 

"How are you? Laswell told me what happened. I was in the room when she was talking to Hopkins." she looked worriedly at you. 

"I'm fine, don't worry. Not my first rodeo, we both know that." you said, grabbing her hand in yours. 

"I was so damn worried. I couldn't handle it, and Amy surely wouldn't." she said. 

"Hey, I'm fine. Don't worry alright? I have a whole team of bodyguards constantly watching over me now" you said in a joking tone looking at the boys behind you. 

Amy was standing on top of the table, the men on their knees or crouching around it. 

"though your daughter seems to be their master. She has a talent of bringing these terrifying men to their knees.'' You laughed with melissa. 

You both watched as Amy took turns, touching soap's mohawk, price's hat, gas's hat, Ghost mask and konig's too. 

"Stay for dinner, the boys will be thrilled." You said. 

And they were. They were absolutely thrilled. You had made dinner with Melissa while they had played with Amy's legos that Ghost had bought for her the last time. Now you all sat at table dining, talking happily. Amy was so fascinated by the way Konig ate underneath his mask that she'd forget to eat what was in her mouth. Konig had felt very embarrassed under her scrutiny and had avoided eye contact. 

You had stopped for a second, looking at the table you sat at. You felt grateful. For all of these people. 

Once dinner was over, the boys had cleaned up the table, except ghost who was trapped by a little girl in his arms. She was starting to get sleepy. Ghost had glanced at you as you sent a wink his way, making him shake his head. 

"what's happening between you and the liteutenant?" 

Melissa's voice made you slightly jump. 

"hum... well... we're... together." you spoke. 

You tried not to blush but she gasped, a smirk on her face afterwards. 

"you go girl! daaaamnn." she said. 

You rolled your eyes. 

"so it's serious huh?" she asked

"yeah... I think it is... he trusts me enough to show me his face." 

She looked touched, holding you in her arms. 

"I'm so happy for you. Really. You deserve it." 

You smiled, tears gathering at the corner of your eyes. You blinked them away. 

"Thank you Melissa. I'm so happy you're in my life too." 

She smiled at you before turning back to ghost. The little girl had fallen asleep in his arms as he kept pacing around to rock her softly. You noticed that the boys had lowered the volume of their voices too, as Ghost eyed them like a hawk at every decibel too high for his taste. 

"He'd be a great dad." Melissa teased. 

"We're far from that. Please don't start." You begged. 

You walked towards him. 

"Thank you lieutenant. She really adores you." she said to him. 

"No problem." he nodded. 

"I think we should go home." she said, glancing at you and then at the sleeping girl. 

"Alright, we'll walk you to the car." you offered, Ghost clearly not wanting to wake up the little girl, agreed. 

Everyone bid their goodbyes in a hushed tone under Ghost's gaze. You walked Melissa to the car, ghost had dropped the little girl, her car seat buckling her up. 

"Thank you lieutenant." she smiled. 

You stood next to him as Melissa looked at you both. 

"Thank you for taking care of her lieutenant". she said. 

You blushed heavily, looking down to hide your face. 

"The best mission I've chosen." he answered back. 

You bit your lip looking up at him as he glanced down back at you. Melissa got into her car and left,  leaving you both at the entrance of the house.

"You're gonna catch a cold. let's go back inside." he said, his hand meeting your lower back.

"Simon." you called. 

He looked at you, waiting. 

"Thank you. for taking care of me." 

"No. Thank you. For holding on to me. To my... fucked up mind and scarred body." 

Your eyes faltered, his words hurting you in a way you didn't think was possible. You grabbed his face in between your hands, his masked face dropping to touch your forehead with his. 

"You're everything Simon. you. Ghost. the lieutenant. all of you." you comforted him. 

He hugged you tighter. 

"fuck.." he cursed under his breath. 

A breeze passed by, soothing the incredible heat in your body. 

"come on... let's head back." 

You nodded, stepping inside with him. 

One thing had been absolutely sure. The boys loved playing games. When they weren't training or at the base and they were bored at home, they'd always want to play a board game or a game of cards. And right now. The game of cards was improvised. The evening had rolled in, you had been working in your room, and the boys were bored. It had begun as a simple game, Soap had ordered pizzas, and you sat around the large table in the living room. But as time passed, those menaces had decided to add some dares to the game. If you'd lose, you'd have to do something. Price had been skeptical, Ghost too, especially because he was worried about what the boys could make you do just to taunt him.

After the first round, where, much to Soap's dismay, he had lost, he was forced to play with handcuffs for the next 5 rounds. Watching him struggle during round 2 made Price laugh way too much, so he remained for the game. Obviously he very quickly regretted his choice.

Gaz had brought some Rhum, and even if it remained very calm, alcohol loosened minds and… tongues. You were all a bit tipsy. And the dares were beginning to be slightly hotter than they should be. Konig was shirtless… the poor man was extremely embarrassed. Gaz and Soap made out, a little predicament created by you. Unfortunately that had horribly backfired. You had to call Laswell and ask her if Price could legally adopt you. She was extremely confused but had said yes. Price added that he'd keep it in mind. 

To counter that you had prepared a little cocktail for the next looser, Soap. You made sure it was incredibly spicy. He had died, his soul leaving his body for a minute. Ghost seemed to be a very good player, managing to lose twice. He had to draw two little blush points on his mask with lipstick. He looked extremely cute. The second time he had to let the boys draw something on his arms with a sharpie. He had rolled his eyes.  After that he had escaped all shenanigans except one, he also had to take off his shirt. For some reason these men loved seeing each other half naked. 

Price had tapped out, opting for going home before he lost all credibility as a captain. Konig had also begged to be let go, you had obviously let the poor man leave, remembering him he didn't need permission, and shouldn't listen to the boys. Now, as the four of you remained. The dares become completely ridiculous. Now Gaz was handcuffed to Soap. They had a wife and husband written on their foreheads with a sharpie. You had cringed, you knew he'd be hard to clean up. 

The tapping point was you having to… lick your way from Ghost's clothed mouth to the aim of his pants, under the careful gaze of the two men. You were blushing hard. Ghost's eyes were fixated on you, his breath had quickened. His hand had reached your hair, tightening there when you passed over his abs. 

You had tried your best to hide your blush when you stood up. You could feel Simon's eyes following your every movement. When soap had tried to comment something along the lines of 'I'm jealous I want a bunny too', he had received a smack behind the head as a warning. The last round had hit, everyone was tired as 3 am was slowly approaching. To everyone's surprise, Ghost lost. Soap and Gaz had run to you, and you were now trying to find the perfect dare to conclude the game. 

Soap finally jumped. 

"I know! You have to wear a dog collar and a leash all day for Y/N!" 

You had gasped and blinked slowly, trying to process what he had said. You looked at Ghost, he seemed to think about it. 

"Simon…" you called. 

"Ok." 

Did he… agree?! You were unsure if it was the alcohol or something else. 

"Nice!" Gas said. 

You were extremely confused… and slightly excited. The sight might be something worth seeing. 

You had called it a night, kissing Simon goodnight and hopping into bed. The liquor and the tiredness made your head buzz as you closed your eyes. 

The next morning you had woken up rather begrudgingly. You needed a coffee. Or tea. You had thrown one of Simon's hoodies on and some leggings before heading down stairs. The house was noisier than usual for this hour. You had walked into the living room, greeting everyone. Soap and gas had a grin on their face. Ghost had walked to you, lifting up his mask to kiss you deeply. 

This was the best way to wake up. Truly. 

"Good morning" you mumbled in a sleepy voice. 

"Good morning bunny." He growled. 

You were taken aback from his tone. What was going on this morning? 

"Breakfast is ready, come on!" Soap called. 

You had sat at the table and eaten breakfast with everyone until Price had walked in, a bag in hand.

"Good morning everyone!" He greeted. 

The boys were quick to their feet as ghost sighed, getting up as well. He extended his hand to you, making you get up and step to him. He dropped your hand to reach his neck with both hands, taking his dog tags and transferring them to your neck. You stumbled on your words looking at him. You felt incredibly honored and thrilled and… owned.

"S-simon… I…." 

"Fuck. You're gonna have to let me take a picture of you like that." He talked in a hushed tone to you. 

He didn't leave any room for an answer as he grabbed your head and made you walk with him to the others. 

"I have no idea why you asked me to pick this up, but I have a feeling it has something to do with last night's game." Price said as he dropped the bag on one of the couches and grabbed the objects inside. 

Your eyes widened when you saw him take out a dog collar and a leash, both black. 

"Oh my god…" you let out. 

"Yes!! Captain you are the best!" Soap almost yelled. 

Gas was just as excited as him. 

"Alright, so who has to wear this?" He asked, turning to soap and then gas. 

When they both turned towards ghost, who stood next to you, arms crossed, Price froze for a second. 

"Really?" He asked with his signature smile. 

You were unable to process what was happening as Soap took the object and ran to the man next to you. He stopped when he saw the dark gaze of his lieutenant. 

"Sergeant, if you try to put it around my neck I will break your hands." He warned. 

Soap smirked but nodded before handing you the collar and leash. 

"Wait, WHAT." You cried out.

You looked at the black leather collar. It had a silver tag shaped like a skull. You turned it to see Riley written behind. They had made it engraved. The leash was a mix of black leather and chain. It was pretty basic. You were taken out of your thoughts as you saw Simon bend down next to you, now eye to eye level. 

"Simon, really?" You asked. 

"I am a man of my word." He said. 

You shook your head. This… was ridiculous. The rest of the team looked at you expectedly. You sighed, unbuckling the damn thing before very slowly approaching it to his neck. The eye contact was intense as you secured it around his neck, and the tension was breakable as you hooked the leash on it. 

"Bloody hell. You're all insane." Price let out, finally breaking the tension. 

He straightened up as you still held the leash in your hand. 

"There! Now you have scary dog privileges!" Soap joked. 

"This is a sight LT." Gas added. 

"When did this happen?" Konig asked, poor man confused. 

You couldn't believe this. 

Ok. Alright. It was a matter of 24h. It might be fun after all. 

You had continued about your day, unleashing Ghost. Soap and gas had forced you to keep the leash on you so you could put it back whenever needed. They were having way too much fun with this. You had your laptop on your lap as you worked through some things on the couch, Simon not too far. You had heard some commotions behind you in the kitchen. 

"Y/N! Get your dog!" 

You smirked.

"It don't bite." You said matter of factly. 

"Yes IT DO!" Soap threw back. 

You had continued to work without paying attention to them. During the day you had found yourself often playing with the tags around your neck, letting your fingers trace the letters on it. Mindlessly bringing it to your lips when you were lost in thoughts. You had only noticed it when soap had thrown a comment about it. 

"Y/N." 

"Hmm?" 

"You don't have to kiss that, the real thing is right here." 

You had blinked looking at him and then at Ghost. You felt a rush of adrenaline as you saw him, hunched over the kitchen counter both hands on it, gazing at you through his lashes like he wanted to pounce on you. 

Soap had immediately excused himself and you had let the tags fall back to your chest. 

"S-sorry…" you apologized. 

He had suddenly realized his posture as you spoke, straightening himself and cleared his throat. 

"No problem." 

He had quickly walked out, the tag on his collar clicking, leaving you confused. 

The interaction had remained in your mind. He had seemed a bit distant afterwards. You had gone out for a drink, soap and gas reminding you that you had to keep him on a leash. You had been horrified at the thought but Ghost had grabbed the end of the leash and hooked it in his collar. 

It had been funny to see all the soldiers at the bar avoiding all eye contact towards your table. The sheer fear the man next to you created in them was astounding. And yet he was next to you, as your hand held onto the leather leash connected to his dog collar. He had made sure to reach to your neck and take out the dog tags so everyone could see it. 

"Damn he possessive." Gas had joked, being completely ignored by his lieutenant.

And he was. You had gotten up to order another drink at the bar. 

"What can I get you ?" The bartender asked smiling at you. 

"Hum can I get a mojito, with strawberry syrup?" You asked tentatively. 

"Oh! Sure, Nice!" He agreed with a wink. 

When you had walked back to the table with your drink, Simon had wrapped his arms around your waist and not let go for the rest of the night. 

You felt a bit uneasy because you could clearly see his mood had changed. You had gotten home around midnight and everyone had gone to bed. The boys had finally let Ghost alone with the collar, though he was still wearing it. You had brought him into your bedroom to try and talk it out. 

"Y/N, I'm fine, come one hop into bed." He had tried. 

You were still holding the leash and you straightened it, applying only a bit of pressure. 

"Simon." 

His gaze had darkened. 

"Tell me." 

"Your time is up bunny. The leash is off now." He warned.

You furrowed your brows in challenge, applying even more pressure in the leash. He growled. 

"Bunny. Let. Go." He warned again. 

"Then tell me." You confronted again. 

He reached your hand, bringing you to his chest. You yelped. His hand was holding your jaw softly. 

"You had fun having me on a leash all day?" 

His special dark tone was back. The one that sent shivers down your spine and made you feel like he was a predator hunting his prey. 

"Well, everyone knew who you belonged to." You teased. 

He chuckled darkly. 

"Yeah. Same with my tags around your pretty neck." He made you spin around, now making you look into the mirror on the wall. His hand traveled from your stomach to your chest where the tags dangled. Your breath hitched as his hand hovered over your breast. 

"Look at you. Mine. So fucking pretty." He growled in your ear. 

"You know what. You're such a pretty sight to see. Let's immortalize this pretty sight." 

You frowned. 

"W-what?" You asked. 

He took his phone out with his other hand, turning it on and opening his camera. 

"Grab the leash." He ordered.

You obeyed, holding the leash over your shoulder. He placed his hand over your throat, not squeezing but holding you in place. He aimed the lense towards the mirror, taking both of you into view. 

"Good girl…" he praised, making you close your eyes and tilt your head back. 

He had taken a picture at that exact moment.  

"So pretty fuck. I wanted to punch that guy at the bar you know." 

You finally understood. 

"Simon… his wink was just playful… it-" 

"No… not his wink. The way he eyed your ass when you walked away from him. That. That made me want to rip his head off." 

Oh. You hadn't noticed that. He was jealous. God that man was possessive. 

He closed his eyes for a little second. 

"Simon. I'm yours." You reminded him. 

He opened his eyes, planting them into yours in the mirror. He visibly relaxed. 

"My bunny." 

"My wolf." You teased. 

He laughed a bit, relieved. 

"That's new." 

You turned around hugging him. He took off his mask, letting it drop to bed behind you. He dropped a kiss on top of your head. 

"I'm sorry… "

"Why?" You questioned.

"I… sometimes lose myself. You have to tell me if I scare you an-" 

"No!" 

You looked at him as he frowned. 

"I'm not scared Simon. Please don't think that. You never hurt me. And I trust you." 

He took a moment before nodding. 

"Come on, bed time." 

You whined. 

"Sleep with me tonight." You asked. 

"Bunny… not tonight. I got to wake up early tomorrow, the team has to go to base." 

"A mission ?" 

"Something like that. I'll tell you more after I get info." 

You nodded. 

You had slipped into pj's in your bathroom before slipping into bed. He had stayed just to be able to tuck you into bed. He turned around heading to leave before you stopped him. 

"Simon…" 

"Yes baby?"

"Can you send me that picture…" you blushed. 

"Of course bunny." 

Once he was out you smiled to yourself. He was really possessive over you. You knew there was a part of him that felt scared that thought you might regret this relationship. That he was not good for you. You wanted to prove him wrong. Your phone buzzed. 

You picked it up to see the notification. Simon had sent the picture. Fuck was it good. You made sure to keep it for yourself. He had added a little treat as a second notification rang. He was shirtless, the collar still on as he held the leash in one hand. The camera was tilted upwards as the looked straight into it. Fuck. You didn't take him for the kind of man to send thirst traps to his girl. But you were glad he was. 

You bit your lip, thinking about your next move. You were slightly embarrassed but also somehow excited. You undressed yourself before laying back down in bed. You made sure to position the dog tags in between your breasts with his name visible. You bit your lip. You held the phone up, making sure the flash was on and you took the picture making sure to push your breast together. You edited the photo making sure to add little skulls over your nipples.

You made sure to check the picture before sending it as fast as possible with a small good night. 

You bit your lip. You wondered if you were going to get an answer. Two minutes passed so you thought he wouldn't. But then a notification came on. 

You smiled to yourself. Finally drifting off to sleep. The next morning you woke up to an empty house. It felt oddly quiet. You took your time eating breakfast and resting. Around lunch time you were still alone. You knew the team had to go to the base for something related to a mission. You wondered when they would come back. Time passed by and you got lost for a little moment in your work. 

When late afternoon rolled in, you decided that perhaps a warm bath would be perfect. You could read a book or something. You stood from the couch when suddenly you heard the front door open and a lot of voices half yelling at each other. You frowned, watching the team stumble over each other. 

"hey hey hey... guys, what's going on?" 

"hey Y/N!" soap called in a very soft voice making you expect the worst. 

"so hum... we got something here, can you take a look?" gas asked. 

"It's a bit urgent, sweetheart." price added in a serious tone. 

You walked over to the table where the boys gathered, putting down a laptop on the table. you sat down in front of anxious looks. 

"Will any of you tell me what's going on? By the way, where's Ghost?" you frowned, opening the laptop and turning it on as you looked around. 

"Hmm..." Konig tried. 

"well..." Soap continued. 

You immediately turned to Price at their hesitation. 

"Please tell me what's going on." 

He sighed before sitting next to you.

"Darkends is dead. We are very close to catching the drug lord. We've been put on this mission and we were called to brief everyone and check some seized gear. one of the cases was... trapped." 

You felt your heartbeat quicken. no... wait. 

"Simon?" you asked.

"he was the one who opened it." 

You closed your eyes letting out a shaky breath. 

"Hey, he's fine, he's fine. He was in contact with a powder, a drug. He's going to be alright" 

You sighed with relief. 

"He's gone upstairs to his room, but we need to know what kind of drug it is. It was quite a dose and we need to know the effects. Can you do that? " 

"Absolutely. I'm on it." 

You turned to the screen, you absolutely needed to find what it was. 

For over an hour, after you managed to decrypt the computer, you finally had found something interesting. The boys were pacing around and kept watching you. 

Finally you found something interesting, a video about the effects of the drug. 

"guys i got it!" you called. 

They rushed to your side and finally you opened the video. 

The silence was loud. But nothing louder than the sounds coming from the laptop. You blushed heavily as Soap laughed and Gas cursed. The noise kept repeating itself, making it obvious as to what the drug was. 

"ah! fuck me!" 

It was a sex drug. 

--------------------------

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

[blixabargelds]

12. things you said when you thought I was asleep

pls pls pls

did you think i was going to be sad with this one 😈

- things you said when you thought i was asleep

They agreed upon it days ago. John drunk as all hell, a dead weight at Gale’s side and listing tiredly. He’d turned to Gale and said, wanna fuck you every waking moment. Gale had said, your waking moments are rapidly depleting. John had said, doesn’t matter to me. Gale, dropping to his knees to untie his boots for him, had said, to me neither.

The next morning, pitifully wrung out and wincing into his coffee, John had looked up at Gale open-mouthed, as Gale reiterated, “It don’t gotta be a waking moment.”

It’s not John’s fault that he’s a light sleeper.

Gale wakes groggily, the air still cool and the sky still pitch black as it leaks in through their window, John’s long fingers opening him up from behind. Gale’s breath catches. He’s face down in their bed, and inhales deep and slow the flavour of the cotton sheets, shivering as he tries to regulate the movements of his body. John had wanted this. Gale’s happy to give him the illusion. He keeps himself lax as possible, eyes shut, as John draws out two fingers, then slides three back in. He’s been half-successful; the stretch tingles in the base of Gale’s spine, but does not hurt. He notices, then, that the nape of his neck is damp against his sleep shirt’s collar, as if John’s been lapping at him. Gale is hard between his stomach and the bed. There’s a stickiness already at the tip of his cock, and the idea that John’s been at this for some time makes it suddenly more challenging to stay still.

John hooks his fingers inside him, and Gale swallows around a whine. It’s a poor method on John’s part- if he wanted Gale asleep then he shouldn’t delve like that, soft pads of his fingertips pressing and seeking, slick with Vaseline and scissoring a little. Gale breathes faster, tries to hold back the way his hips want to stutter, as John moans quietly behind him at nothing but his own fingers fucking into Gale.

“Christ, I’d have you like this every night,” he mutters. Gale bites his lip. “God, every morning, too. I just might.”

John pulls his fingers out, and it takes all Gale’s strength not to back up to keep them inside. The silence in the room feels enormous in his head, as John shuffles around in the dark. Gale’s half scared his heartbeat might give him away. His lungs ache with the effort of expanding subtly whilst pressed flat onto the mattress, and then John’s pressing him down further, his wetted cock pushing inside his hole with more restraint than Gale’s ever felt from him.

“Oh, fuck,” John hisses. “Buck, sweetheart.”

There’s drool escaping Gale’s lips from around his clamped teeth. He wonders if there’s any range of movement that won’t give him away, any small shift of his ass back onto John’s cock that won’t alert him to Gale’s wakefulness. He tests a fraction. It’s either well timed with John’s slow thrusts, or John is too gone to notice, because as Gale grinds back against him as minutely as he can John falls further forward, hitting the spot in Gale that would normally have him groaning loud.

“I love you pliant,” John whispers. Gale makes a punched-out noise that could be a dreaming grunt. “Love the way you just take me without tryin’.”

John pulls halfway out. It’s dizzyingly slow, so as not to wake Gale, who’s wide awake and fast losing his grip on pretence. He fucks himself down onto the bed, he can’t help it. The friction against his cock makes him sigh, makes him want to do it again, but he’s already jerking too much to be convincing much longer. John thrusts back into him deep, and Gale almost chokes.

“So tight even like this,” John keeps talking, filthy little whispers for nobody’s benefit but his own, every one making Gale’s eyes roll behind his eyelids.

He starts fucking him in earnest; not his usual, fast rutting, but clipped grinding thrusts, hardly any drag of his cock pulling in and out of Gale’s body, just burrowing himself further in. Gale’s mouth is open against the sheets now, and he thinks he might be wheezing. The bed begins to bounce with John’s movements, allowing Gale a touch more plausibility with which to fuck back onto John. He rolls his hips down, breath coming faster and harder as his cock twitches where it’s trapped, John splaying a big hand over Gale’s spine and pressing him down more. Gale’s aching cock rubs desperately against the sheets. He lets slip a decidedly conscious moan.

“Buck?” John says.

“Don’t stop,” Gale grits out, voice thick, “Bucky-”

“Fuck,” John says. He grabs Gale’s hips, pulls him back by them hard, and Gale finally releases a crushed, noisy breath as his chest leaves the bed. “How long-”

“John,” Gale gasps.

“Okay,” John says. “Alright,” as he reaches around to take Gale’s dripping cock in hand.

It only takes two tugs for Gale to come. He groans into the crook of his elbow, shuddering as John’s fingers slide over the head of his cock, gathering the hot rush of cum and slicking it back up his sensitive length, driving roughly into him until he shouts out his own release.

Gale collapses under their shared weight. John pulls out after a long, panting moment, and yawns.

“You tired or somethin’, Bucky?” Gale says.

“Were you leading me on that whole time?” says John. Gale says nothing, but shakes his head. There’s a small amount of light coming through the window now. In the relief of it, John laughs. “You were. You son of a bitch.”

“Says who?” Gale smiles. “Was just gonna tell you ’bout my nice dream.”

[seat-safety-switch]

Once in awhile, you can get one over on The Man. Finally, after all these years of toiling under his rule, doing his dirty work, begging for his praise, he has well and truly fucked up. And, it turns out, your entire life has been building up to the moment that you can milk him for all he's worth.

Have you ever seen a Dodge Caliber? They're getting sort of uncommon now, but when they were new, they were pretty hateful cars. Cheap, buzzy, surprisingly uneconomical, steering that felt like telling a funeral home operator how to sign a birthday card over the phone by long distance. And they fell apart all the time. Most cars get repaired, but these things got gleefully shovelled into the junkyard at the first chance the owners got.

Not all of them, though. This is a story about one very special Dodge Caliber. You see, my aunt needed a car. And my aunt is very nervous about owning a car. The skills of shitbox repair never made it into her genes, you see, possibly because she is not related to me by blood. So, in order to get that car, she went to the Dodge dealership, and she asked them: can you do a lifetime warranty, unlimited mileage, no questions asked, cover everything? And they said: for you, ma'am, we absolutely can charge you an obscene, eye-watering amount of money.

Once I found out about this, I was mad. And then I figured it out. You see, what my aunt did have was being insanely cheap. That's why she was a part of my degenerate family. She still is, even though my Uncle Larry exploded that one night at Arecibo. Unlimited mileage. There has never been a sweeter phrase uttered in the English language.

Now, whenever anyone we know needs to go for a long trip, we tell them: take the Caliber. Rack those miles up. Punish those stupid motherfuckers for writing such a terrible, open-ended contract. My aunt runs a taxi service consisting entirely of this vehicle, a fleet of drivers constantly rotating in and out, the thing rolling virtually 24/7. I love driving this car, because every single mile that ticks up on the odometer is more salty tears from the low-wattage pig who thought he was a big-time wheeler and dealer down at Old Time Country Dodge.

To their credit, they figured out the enormous error that they had made fairly quickly. When Aunt Hilda rolled in the thing, smoking and wheezing, for its sixth transmission replacement at eight-hundred-and-fifty-thousand kilometers, they offered to buy it from her and give her a brand new luxury SUV, just for being such a great customer. She laughed, and told them to get started overhauling the Caliber, and don't forget to take a look at the squeaking sound it started making in the back.

When things got real bad during the recession, they tried to go bankrupt, thinking that might get them out from having to maintain this economy car until the sun burns out. Ha! Death won't save you, my friend. My attorney Max picked that one up pro bono, despite hating warranty law, just for the pleasure of watching their attorney read the purchase contract. Her eyes got so big that they stuck that way. The paramedics had to use the jaws of life on her eyelids so she could blink again.

If you see me in the Caliber, make sure to honk. I probably won't stop to say hi, because we gotta keep this odometer rollin'. Rest assured, however, that I will honk back, maybe ten or fifteen times. Really get my money's worth out of that horn.

[sunnybeewriting]

peachy keen.

Hi guys! So I'm pretty new to writing and this is actually the biggest thing I’ve ever written. I watched The Way of Water when it came out and took an immediate interest in this guy, partially because I thought his character has a lot of potential, and partially because I also thought that he was really hot.

So I decided to set up a series of little works. This one is just sort of a beginning to the Reader’s character and Quaritch, and I do plan on writing more about them in the future with this fic as their base. Maybe do some AU’s, maybe just continue the story from here, maybe lead into the movie, who knows!

That all said, I really, really hope you like it! If you do, please give it a like or a comment!

WORDS: 15,000

WARNINGS: Adult themes and language

peachy keen. Part Two.

Jesus fucking Christ.

Your body jerks to a stop just before you can fully trip over your shoelace and faceplant onto the floor. Unfortunately, the leftover food on your plate could not say the same, jostled just enough that it went flying from your hands and onto the tiled floor of the mess hall.

You lean down quickly to clean it up, scooping the food with your fingers and back onto the plate as best you can. You succeed only halfway, goop just smearing across the floor and onto your hand.

You stare at the mess you made, ears and cheeks burning as you hear snickers of cruel amusement coming from some military meatheads a few feet behind you.

You jump up quickly, making sure to avoid your shoelace so you don’t trip on it again and embarrass yourself any further. You hurry to the counter holding the utensils, mugs, and paper towels, tugging several brown napkins out of the dispenser sitting on top. You take a deep breath to calm yourself.

Kneeling down so soon after sleeping for six years in a cyropod made the muscles in your legs and shoulders ache, but you do it anyways. You wipe up the mess as best you can, piling the dirty napkins onto the plate and dumping it all into a nearby trashcan. You wish the ground would swallow you up.

You aren’t usually so embarrassed by such a small mistake, but it had been a rough past couple of days for you. You had landed at Bridgehead City just a few days ago, and you had felt immediately overwhelmed by the extreme size of the fortress.

It took the RDA fifteen years to return to Pandora, but when they did, they made sure to put in roots. Bridgehead City was an enormous structure, constantly building upon itself and hosting thousands of military combatants, engineers, skel suits, construction robots, anything that was thought of to build and maintain humanity’s last stronghold. Every person of every imagined career was here, working as one like bees and ants had once done for their queens a hundred years ago, before they had both gone extinct. 

Bridgehead was terrifying to look at for the first time, seeing in person exactly how far humanity was willing to go to force itself onto another planet. You had noticed that it almost looked like a parasite, contrasting in color and material against the lively, glowing rainforest that surrounded it just past the barren land of the Kill Zone.

The wave of information that hit you the moment you stepped off the ship was almost enough to make your excitement to be on Pandora wither and die, but you held onto it with shaky, desperate hands.

Luckily for you, it wasn’t long before your enthusiasm bounced back and you met your new colleagues. Most of them had been just as nervous as you, clearly uncertain and overwhelmed. Knowing you weren’t alone made you relax just slightly. They were scientists hand-picked by the RDA as test subjects for re-opening the Avatar program, just like you.

None of you were really sure why the program had been stopped in the first place. The RDA was very quiet about what had happened all those years ago, when most of their military and scientists had been sent fleeing from Pandora with nothing but the clothes on their backs and tails between their legs. They refused to issue many statements, insisting that a minor misunderstanding had occurred with the ‘natives’ of the planet, and they’d be back soon enough to continue their mission.

The RDA had stated that the main reason for discounting the Avatar program was because the cost outweighed any benefit. The only reason they were allowing a few lucky souls to come to Pandora as Avatars was simply as a favor to the scientific community, and as a test to see if the Avatar program should be reinstated. Now the main purpose behind the program is to see if it’s worth it for people to be able to travel around Pandora without having to worry about the environmental protection systems, than a way to make peace with the Na’vi.

Most of the scientists in the base were only allowed restricted access to information regarding the past and current situation with the Na’vi, only knowing that The People were no longer accepting of humans on their planet and that the military is now on constant high alert. Most of the remaining records were classified to you, although you did try to learn as much as you could about what was happening on Pandora. Unfortunately, the RDA was very strict with that information, and you never found anything that mentioned the Na’vi or what happened fifteen years ago.  

The ten members of the new Avatar program had been divided into two parts of five, just to make the introductions and sessions easier. You had met your three new acquaintances, eager to make some friends. They had introduced themselves; Emma, a small, shy woman who preferred observing rather than participating; James, a sweet, handsome young man; and David, an older man in his late fifties who seemed a bit too haughty for his own good.

Your group was shown to your individual rooms over on the west side of Bridgehead, far away from the landing pads and ships you had arrived on. Your new room was small and gray with concrete walls and a thin layering of carpet covering the cold floors. You had a small desk that sat underneath a suction-locked window that let you glimpse into an enclosure full of construction robots, but at least the light it let in was nice. There was a simple cot in the corner and a mirror as the only piece of décor on the walls, but it was yours, a place you could call your own.

You had grinned tiredly and fallen face down on your bed without bothering to take off your shoes. You slept for fourteen hours, and when you awoke you felt as though you were rising from the dead, hair wild and mouth fuzzy. After you brushed your teeth, showered, got dressed in clean clothes, and ate food for the first time in six years, you felt like a brand-new person.

And here you are now, in the mess hall, already making a fool of yourself on your second week.

You quickly rush back to your table and plop your behind into the seat you had vacated to throw away your plate, sitting across from Emma and David. Emma is poking at her food, face pale and gloomy. David is almost done with his own dinner, glasses perched on his nose as he reads from a holotablet.

Geesh. These guys certainly weren’t known for being the life of the party back home.

Maybe they just need some more time to adjust? I know I certainly fucking do.

You take a moment to bend down and tie your shoelace, double knotting it, not wanting to cause any more scenes.

When you sit back up in your chair and make eye contact with Emma, your lopsided, embarrassed smile falls from your face when she simply stares back at you, clearly uneasy for some reason you can’t name.

“Jesus, you’re so fucking clumsy. And why the fuck does it look like you’re all attending a funeral over here?” The voice that chimes up behind you lifts your mood exponentially, and you turn around in your seat to greet the approaching form of the last member of your group and your best friend with a happy grin.

You had met Margot a few months before your trip to Pandora when you both attended a required conference that would discuss certain parts of living in Bridgehead. The second you struck up a conversation with her, it was like meeting your long-lost sister. You had instantly clicked, getting on like a house on fire and scarcely spending a day away from each other.

James arrives at the table with her, holding his own plate. He gives you a comforting look, clearly sympathetic to your embarrassment.

“Hey Margot, James! You saw that, huh?” you ask sheepishly, shoulders raising to your ears as you feel a hot flash of mortification all over again.

“Uh, yeah, honey, I saw. I’m pretty sure half the cafeteria watched you nearly eat shit. You need to learn to tie your shoes better, babe.” Margot’s voice is just as loud as ever, and her bright blonde hair and tall figure aren’t exactly subtle, either.

She was the type of person to grab someone’s attention and refuse to let it go, manicured nails digging in deep. Well, her nails used to be manicured. Now they were just as plain as everyone else’s.

She takes a seat in the empty chair next to you, setting her own plate down with a clatter. She untucks her cheap silverware from the napkin and digs into her dinner, eating hurriedly like someone is about to snatch the plate away from her. You had once asked her why she never slowed down to enjoy her food, and she said that with eight siblings if you wanted any food, you needed to eat it like an animal.  

James takes the other empty seat next to you, patting your shoulder twice before saying, “It’s okay, I don’t think that many people saw.”

You smile weakly at his attempt to make you feel better. It doesn’t help much, but you appreciate the thought, “Thanks, James.”

He nods and moves his attention to his plate.

Your table is silent for a few moments, everyone lost in their own thoughts and tasks.

You break the silence when you nervously ask, “So. Anybody else freaking out at the thought of linking up for the first time or is it just me?”

David looks up, paying attention to your words for the first time since you met him. “Well, I’m not nervous because I did all the pre-linking sessions and training years ago.” His nose is practically raised in the air.

You stare at him.

What a fucking douchebag. Who answers a question like that?

“That’s nice. What about you, Emma, are you nervous or excited? How are you feeling?” you ask gingerly, wanting to include her in the conversation. It would be nice to have another friend so that the next few years weren’t miserable.

Emma stares at you blankly, and then whispers a simple, “No.”

You lean back in your seat and deflate. “Oh.”

Fuck it, I tried.

Margot, the smug bitch, is watching you drown in social awkwardness as she happily munches away. You give her a look and a shrug, and she rolls her eyes before placing her fork down on the table. She dabs the corner of her mouth with her napkin, and then says to Emma, “Girl, I absolutely love that bracelet you’re wearing. Where did you get it?”

To your surprise, Emma perks up in her seat, right hand grazing the bracelet she wore on her left wrist. Her face softens, and she says, “It was my mom’s, actually.”

“Oh, that’s so sweet. Right?” Margot jabs her sharp elbow into your side, and you hiss but nod hurriedly.

“Yes, that is so sweet! I wear my mom’s wedding ring, actually.” You rub said ring with your hand. Your mood drops a little bit at the mention of your mother, but you shake your head to get back on track. “Makes me feel closer to her, I suppose.”

A small smile pulls on Emma’s cheeks, and she looks down, still rubbing the bracelet. “Yeah.”

You look at her, reconsidering your thoughts about her personality. 

Maybe it just takes a little time to connect, that’s all.

You fiddle with the small, emerald cut ring that you were on the ring finger of your right hand. It had been a piece of jewelry your mother had worn faithfully until the day she died.

When you were a child, around ten or eleven years old, you had asked her why your dad had chosen that specific ring to represent their marriage, out of the hundreds of others he could have.

She was still sick at the time, spending most of her days laying in a hospital bed while nurses bustled in and out. She had lost so much weight that her cheeks were gaunt, and her face and hands were so white they were almost transparent, pale blue veins clear through the skin.

Her lips were pale and chapped, and the dark circles around her eyes were deeply imprinted in her skin like bruises. She looked like a ghost, a fragile, terrifying imitation of the woman who had raised you, a woman who you had thought put the stars themselves into the sky. She was weak, and even before she passed away it was like she was already dead.  

She had gripped your hand as tightly as she could when you had asked that question, sweaty palm squeezing yours to the point of pain in a rare show of strength. She was usually so weak the nurses and you had to feed her by hand as she could barely lift up her arms. She looked you in the eye and pulled you close until your face was right next to hers.

In the croak that had now become her voice, she whispered, “I had asked the same question, years after he had proposed. I asked, ‘Jonathon, why this ring? Why this cut, why this color?’. And he had gripped me tightly and pulled me close and said, ‘Well, my love, it’s the breathtaking green color of your eyes. Your eyes and the ring match exactly, you see. And every time you look at it, you will see yourself the way I see you. Beautiful and bright.’

Tears had filled her glazed eyes, and she whispered to you, “No matter what, when you find the one you love, never let them go. Cherish every single second you have with them, never take them for granted, and make sure that they love you for everything that you are, the good and the bad. It is the purpose of our life. Love. Without it, we are nothing.” Against the tears and the agony that claimed her face and voice, your mother smiled for the first time in years.

Your father had passed away while your mother was still pregnant, killed in an easily avoidable accident. No matter how much your mother loved you before she had gotten sick, no matter how much joy you brought to her life, there was always a deep sorrow and grief inside her that consumed her soul every day.

She never got over your father, never dated or remarried or showed the barest hint of interest in anyone else. When asked why, she said that she had already had the love of her life, and there was no one who could ever compare to even the lingering ghost of your father that seemed to haunt her.

And when the sickness truly hit and reduced her to almost nothing, her anger and bitterness twisted her mind and her love for you into something cruel and abhorrent. 

Even years later you kept her whispered words locked away into the very muscles of your heart. Even though your mother had been sick and weak when she told you these things, it was one of your few beloved moments with her. It had shown you who your mother really was, past all the sickness and malice, who she really was deep in her soul. That she had once loved and been loved.

And now you wear her wedding ring as a reminder of your parent’s love for each other, and how regardless of your mother’s cruelty toward you during the last years of her life, your love for her would never fade.

You’re jerked out of your melancholy thoughts when Margot burps loudly and thumps a fist against her chest.

“Jesus Christ, Margot. Where the fuck did you learn your manners from?” James asks, recoiling in disgust.

“Sorry, sorry. I’m almost done, then we can go check out the linking center.”

You nod eagerly, so overwhelmed with anticipation and delight that your fingers tremor just slightly.

You are so ready to meet your Avatar and link up for the first time, but the thought of anything going wrong makes you restless. You wish you could just get it over with so you could stop agonizing over it.

Margot finally finishes her food and stands up to dump her plate. James does the same, and then all five of you are off, walking down a long hallway with lots of twists and turns. The fluorescent  lights shine brightly on the ceiling, and you can hear the distant sounds of never-ending construction.

Even with all five of you working together to get to your destination, the new buildings are too much for your group and you get lost in the labyrinth of hallways. James even has to ask a nearby custodian for directions once or twice. When you turn a corner, you spot a bathroom sign, and suddenly you have business to take care of. You pat Margot’s arm and point in that direction.

“Hey, guys, I’m going to head to the bathroom real quick. I’ll meet you there, okay?”

The rest of the group nods, but Margot decides to go with you. You do your business and you’re washing your hands in the sink when Margot makes eye contact with you through the mirror as she washes her own hands.

“I won’t lie, honey, I’m feeling pretty nervous about linking up as well. I know we’ve been through training simulations and have studied and practiced for years, but this is going to be different.” Her face and voice are uncharacteristically serious, and her hands shake just slightly as she pulls a towel out of the dispenser to dry her hands.

You feel a flash of sympathy for your friend, stopping your own drying. You walk around to her and put your hands on her shoulders, leaning your face close to hers.

“It’ll be okay, Margot, we’ve both got this. We just need to do it, and then it’ll be as easy as breathing before we know it, okay?”

Margot nods and takes a deep breath, looking down for a moment. When she looks up she’s much calmer, and her usual peppy attitude is back and shining.

“Thanks, sugar.”

You nod understandingly, releasing her shoulders and knocking her hip with yours as you walk toward the bathroom door. You both step outside into the hallway and continue your way.

“Of course. And besides, I’m just so ready to finally see her, you know? We’ve seen pictures and videos, but actually being there in real life is going to feel so surreal. The Na’vi are just stunning to me. Ooh, I almost forgot!”

You stop walking as you talk, scientist-brain taking over. Margot moves to stand in front of you, crossing her arms over her chest with an amused expression. This was far from the first time you had gone on a tangent.

“I saw someone from the recombinant unit when I was walking around yesterday, and he was fucking huge!”

You’re so busy trying to organize your thought flow into something sensible that you completely miss the approaching footsteps coming from behind you, and the way Margot looks over your shoulder and turns white.

You continue on, oblivious.

“He must have been pretty high ranking because the people with him followed him around like little ducklings. And the blue pigment of his skin was so beautiful. The color contrast of his eyes versus his skin kind of reminded me of a Primula ‘Zebra Blue’, you know, that blue and golden flower that went extinct like a hundred years ago? It was just amazing to finally see in person, and I-”

“Well, aren’t you just a peach?”

The deep voice that comes from behind you nearly makes you jump out of your skin. You whirl around, expecting to come face to face with whomever just spoke. Instead, you come eye level with the belt buckle and zipper of a pair of navy green camo military pants.

Your heart drops to your shoes.

You tilt your head up, up, up, until it’s practically craning backward. The uncomfortable position hurts, but that’s the least of your problems.

Your biggest problem, literally and figuratively, is the cold eyes and carefully amused face of the man you were just talking about.

You open your mouth to speak but words refuse to leave.

Why does this shit always happen to me?

You clamp your mouth shut when no words appear and swallow nervously, and the man notices your tense expression.

He smirks down at you, almost sneering. From the way he towers over you closely, unconcerned with personal space, it’s clear that this man likes to have people’s attention on him, takes pleasure in scaring people with his massive height and muscles.

And his intimidation tactics completely work on you, that’s for sure.

Jesus, look at his hands. He could cover my entire face and upper torso with just one of them!

You want to put as much distance between this frightening man and yourself as possible. But there’s a little voice in the back of your head, a stupid, too-curious little voice, that want you to examine him all the way from the finger pads and palm lines of his hands to the tip of his tail.

He was terrifying, yes, but you are also stunned by the wonderful science and technology that made up his body.

Of course, you’d seen holographs and pictures of Avatars and the Na’vi people, but they could never hold a candle to the real thing.

The navy green tank top, tattoo, and dog tags were all familiar things, but his height and the bright, smooth blue color of his skin were brand-new to you, something you wanted to take a closer look at. His hair was shaved closer to his skull than any other you’d seen, Avatar and Na’vi alike.

His bright yellow eyes sear into yours, and it feels like he is trying to see into your fucking soul.

Your heart rate skyrockets, mortified and thrilled and fearful all at once. The pile of extreme emotions twists your stomach, making you queasy.

Do not fucking puke on his shoes.

The man takes a step back to make room for his massive arm before he lifts it up, clearly holding his hand between you for a handshake. It almost seems as though he is testing your nerve; you wonder how many people had chosen not to shake his hand, too frightened.

“The name’s Colonel Quaritch, pleasure to meet you. What’s your name.” It’s a demand more than a question.  

You look up at his face again before quickly wiping your hands on your lab coat to get rid of any sweat. You grab onto his hand as best as you can with your own, and holy shit.

His hand engulfs your own minuscule one and part of your forearm, his fingers reaching almost all the way to your elbow. And the skin of his hand is surprisingly soft; he doesn’t have as many calluses as you thought a marine would, but that might be because his Avatar body is fairly new. You tell him your name, and say,

“Uh, sorry, sir! I’m a xenobotanist from the science division, I got here about two weeks ago!” Your voice is squeaky and louder than you want it to be, making you cringe. You barely remember to shake his hand as you speak other than simply hold it in your own.

He continues to stare at you, wicked smile only growing when you say you’re a scientist.

“Ah, you tree-huggers are officially back, then. Part of the ‘newly instated Avatar program’, right?”

“Uh, y-yes, sir. That’s us.” You laugh weakly.

He barely twitches the fingers of the hand still holding your own, but the strength that comes from them is enough to make his grip almost painful.

“Hmmm. Well, I’m real curious to see how long you and your friend last before Pandora eats you alive. Just as a friendly warnin’, you should be real careful about what you say and who you say it about ‘round here. Guess I’ll be seein’ you. Peach.”

Your knees weaken and you nod hurriedly.

He finally releases your hand, gives you one last cold, golden look, and continues on his way. His bare arm brushes your shoulder as he passes you, and it’s enough to make you shiver.

He’s gone in just a few seconds, but you stay rooted in your spot, staring at the floor. You’re wondering if he’s going to come back and shank you with the wicked knife you’d seen strapped to his thigh when a hand gently presses against your shoulder.

You leap into the air for the second time that day, hand slamming into your chest and breath coming out in a gasp as you realize it’s just Margot. You’d completely forgotten she was even there, too consumed with the encompassing presence of Colonel Quaritch.

You look at her, eyes wide and mouth gaping. Margot returns your stunned look, face paler than you’ve ever seen it before.

“Holy. Fucking. Shit. You have the worst luck out of anyone I’ve ever met in my entire life. What the fuck just happened?”

You gulp. “I’m pretty sure that a terrifying man who wouldn’t hesitate to gut me overheard me practically gushing about him?”

She nods. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

You stand there, practically swaying on your feet. “Oh my god, he fucking hates me! Did you see the look on his face? Oh my god, why is this happening? I’m never going to able to leave my room again!”

You bury your face into your hands, suddenly exhausted. First the mess hall, now this? Why couldn’t you just not embarrass yourself for once?

Margot pats your shoulder as you groan. “There, there. It’s alright, all you have to do is avoid him for the rest of your life. If you don’t, I’m pretty sure the next time you see him he’ll either just ignore you or kill you for saying all that stuff about him, and then you won’t have to worry about it anymore!”

“But I didn’t even mean it in a bad way! I was just describing him, the same way I do with all unknown subjects.”

Margot winces. “Uh, yeah, I would definitely not tell him that.”

------

You feel like whining as you finally continue walking to the linking center. After all that, the excitement you had felt at meeting your Avatar had almost completely disappeared. Now, the only thing you wanted to do was crawl back to your room and hide underneath your blankets forever.

But Margot pulls on your hand and ignores your childish wishes. When you arrive, she practically has to push you into the room.

And then every single thing, all of your hard work, the training, the learning, even the awkwardness of that day, was suddenly all worth it when you saw her for the first time.

She was curled up in the tank, cords attached to her body and eyes moving behind her closed lids. She floated gently around in the liquid that surrounded her, sometimes twitching a limb as she slept on.

You approach the tank, mind blank and mouth dry. As you get closer, you can see the details of her face, your face, just shifted into the feline-like features of a Na’vi.

She stole the breath straight from your lungs.

And that was how you spent the next few weeks, gazing at her slash yourself. Eventually, the time came for the first linkup, and everything went well, just like you had told Margot.

You spent the next month linking into your Avatar and wandering around the facilities, checking your reflexes and consuming everything Pandora had to offer while still in the confined space of Bridgehead City.

The disorientation from linking was enough to make you lay in a cot for an half an hour each time, too dizzy to move much. It’s such a bizarre feeling, suddenly being so much taller than everything else, and you are so much stronger than you are as a human.

It took a long time to remember your strength, and you accidentally put dents into a metal door handle when you grabbed it, squeezing it much harder than you meant to. The tiny little humans helping you gave you a pretty wide berth after that, only approaching when necessary.

You practiced using your new body, walking around without sitting on your long-haired queue or stepping on your new tail, which flailed around with a mind of its own. You liked to press your tongue to your sharp canines and look at the swaying tendrils attached to your hair.

It was an exhausting, thrilling process, and you loved every second of it.

None of the new Avatars had yet to actually leave Bridgehead and go into the forest yet. It would probably take a few more weeks for that to happen, and even then, you would probably only be allowed into the tree line past the Kill Zone.

Still, you eagerly look forward to that day, barely able to contain yourself in your excitement. It’s all you can think of day and night, and even in your dreams. On that day, you would be accomplishing so much more than a lifelong goal.  

Now, your group is relaxing in one of the lounges used for breaks, discussing your experience with linking and Pandora. It was something you’d been talking about for the past few hours, the past few weeks, really. It wasn’t like any of you had very much in common with each other, other than your careers and education, but you were trying to dig a little deeper to learn more about these people.

The only problem was they were more antisocial than not, which was almost to be expected by a bunch of scientists. They were also hesitant to speak much about their past. You were the same way. They probably wouldn’t be here if they had a very pleasant past filled with lots of people they wanted to stay with back home.

You eat the small bag of crackers you’d snagged from one of the vending machines lining the gray walls of the room, hoping that the tiny treat will hold you until your next meal. The chair you are leaning back in creaks dangerously and wobbles, but you hold your precarious position, feet pulled up and crossed on the table in front of you.

Your mind wanders as the chatter of the group drifts in and out of your ears. You think of nothing in particular, dazing out of focus, simply relaxing for once.

That peace is shattered when James leaps from his chair further down the table where he and Emma sit. They’re playing an old-fashioned card game; one you’ve never heard of before. When you asked James where he learned it from, he said his great-grandfather had taught it to him. Something called ‘Go Fish’.

James raises his arms above his head in apparent victory, grinning fiercely.

“That’s round three for me, Emma!”

Emma is giggling behind her hand, cheeks flushed a bright pink. She keeps her eyes on James as he playfully postures at winning, and the sight of her joy makes you grin.

You look across the table at Margot and wiggle your eyebrows. She laughs quietly, nodding in agreement.

Sweet Emma and James. You’re almost surprised that they developed such an obvious, big fat crush on each other out of all people, given that their personalities are so different.

Maybe opposites really do attract?

Whatever the reason may be, you hope your friends find happiness in one another. The world could certainly do with more love.  

Margot scoffs in disgust and curls her lip at her empty plate, apparently already over the tooth-rotting sweetness that was Emma and James.

She throws down her silverware onto the table and leans back in her chair, pout firm on her face.

“The food here is ass! You’d think a multi-trillion-dollar company would be able to feed its employees with something other than more fucking oatmeal. I’m so damn tired of oatmeal! It’s been most of our meals for the past month!”

“The supply shipment is late, you know that.” Is all you say. There is nothing to gain from arguing with Margot when she gets into one of these hungry moods.

“Then they need to make it un-late and bring me my fucking muffins!”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure that ‘un-late’ isn’t even a word, but I do agree with you. Oatmeal reserves are getting pretty old.”

Margot nods vigorously, leaning forward and placing her hands on the table.

“Coup? Coup? Anybody interested?”

You throw back your head and laugh, “Margot, we’re not going throw a coup just because there aren’t any muffins! I thought you had saved a bunch of snacks the last time this happened?”

Margot deflates. “I ate them all already and the vending machines are out of my favorites!”

“Oh, Margot.”

“I know! Somebody just put me out of my misery.” She plants her face into her crossed arms on the table, moping.

“You know, you always complain about the food here, Margot, but that never seems to stop you from scarfing it down,” James says, putting himself into your conversation. He sits in his chair still, shuffling the deck of cards as he smirks at Margot.

“I have to eat it, it’s the only thing they have here!”

You open your mouth to say something, only to pause when a big blue hand reaches around the curve of the open doorway like something out of a horror movie. You sit there, gaping, as Colonel Quaritch crouches down through the opening and steps into the break room.

Margot, James, and Emma see your startled face and turn to see what you’re looking at. When they see Quaritch, they all lurch out of their seats to stand up straight. The cards Emma and James were playing with go flying all over the table and the ground, and Margot nearly knocks her plate off the table.

Quaritch straightens up and stands, several feet taller than any of you. He rests his hand on the holster of the belt wrapped around his trim waistline and practically cocks his hip as he looks directly at you.

You’re still sitting, cracker packet now crushed to a pulp in your right hand. When he looks at you, you finally jolt up to your feet. You dust off the cracker crumbs from your shirt as best you can, anxiety filling you.

“S-Sir!”

What the hell is he doing here!?

He saunters into the room until he’s standing by the table, just a few feet from you. You crane your head up to look at him, baffled and worried.

“Is there…anything you need, sir?” You can’t help the way your eyebrows scrunch up as you ask, clearly confused.

He stares down at you, head tilting to the side as if pondering something. Eventually, he speaks.

“Walk with me.”

And then he turns on his heel and ducks out of the room as quickly as he had entered. You stand, frozen, turning a bewildered stare to your group of friends. They stare back at you, just as perplexed, until Margot urges you to follow him with a push of her hand on your back.

You get your limbs to move and start walking after him, exiting the break room and finding him waiting. Once he sees you’re following after him, he continues walking down the hallway without a word.

The silence is almost uncomfortable as you walk several hallway lengths away from the lounge to some unknown destination. You’re almost tempted to break it to ask where the hell he’s taking you, but fear of his biting words keeps your mouth shut.

His legs are so long that his stride is practically jogging for you, and you have to speed walk so you don’t get left behind. He notices you struggling but doesn’t slow down one bit. In fact, the bastard smirks meanly at your frustration and funny walking pace.

You scowl at his amusement but refuse to say a word.

Finally, Quaritch stops in front of an enormous metal door, and he takes a key from his pocket and twists it into the lock on the doorknob. He opens it and walks in, and then gestures for you to do the same with an impatient wave of his hand.

You hurriedly scuttle in, freaking out even more. If he’s taking you to his office then he must have something serious to talk about, right? Was he going to punish you for what you said, was he going to yell at you, threaten you? You’re practically sweating, fingers twisting as your imagination goes wild.

You take a moment to break out of your thoughts and look around.

You pause.

You stand in the middle of the room, eyes locked onto one thing and one thing only: the large bed laying flush up against the corner of the space.

Who keeps a bed in their office? Is the first thing that comes to your mind. Confusion rushes through you and you look around the room, taking in the closet doors, the large desk tucked into the corner across the room parallel to the bed, the empty walls just as barren as your own room.

Your own room.

Ohmygod I’m in his room. Why would he bring me to his room!?

You whirl around, and Quaritch is standing so close to you that your face nearly smacks into his crotch.

You leap backward with a yelp and jump when Quaritch barks out a loud, unfriendly laugh and then sneers at you.

“I would’ve taken you to my office before, but it seems I don’t have one of those anymore. So, this’ll have to do.”

Confusion layered with frustration comes back to you, and your eyebrows furrow. “Do for what, sir?” You barely remember to tack on the ‘sir’ at the end of your sentence.

His face suddenly breaks out into a sharp-toothed grin, and he leans back, smug once more. You were really starting to get tired of that expression.

“I have a… proposition, for you.”

You barely refrain from turning a wide-eyed, horrified look at the bed.

Under any other circumstance, if a man had taken you to his bedroom and said he was propositioning you, you would be real worried. Red flags would pop up in your brain, mind demanding you flee fast.

But these aren’t normal circumstances, given that one of his arms alone is almost as big as your body. And you didn’t really get the impression that was something he was looking for right now, so you shake your head to get rid of any crude thoughts. You refuse to lower your guard, though, still uneasy.

“Uh, a proposition, sir?”

“Yes. You see, I’m under the firm belief that to destroy your enemies, you have to think like ‘em, be like ‘em. Kill like ‘em, eat like ‘em, shit like ‘em, that sorta thing.”

He takes a step closer and you take one back.

“And if I want to have even a snowball’s chance in hell of finding Jake Sully and the rest of the natives, I’m going to need to put myself in their shoes, metaphorically speaking. But most of the people here are military, marines, people with no knowledge of the Na’vi except how best to kill ‘em.”

“So. Who best to teach me how to be Na’vi other than one of the soft-hearted, limp-dicked scientists who just eats up Na’vi shit like it’s Mamma’s home-baked cookies?”

His yellow eyes burn into yours.

“One specific little scientist came to mind, you see, when I was thinkin’.”

You knew it was coming, but that doesn’t stop you from blanching. You shove a finger in your chest and point at yourself like an idiot.

“Me?”

Quaritch finally leans back, rolling his eyes.

“Yes, you.”

You sputter, mind going a thousand miles per hour.

“But-but, I’m not even an anthropologist, sir! I study foreign plant and-and animal life! Emma, she is the one in anthropology, you should talk to her!”

Quaritch scoffs.

“Emma Rodrigo can barely string a sentence together without pissin’ her pants, let alone teach me to do anythin’.” He crosses his arms over his chest, muscles bulging. His wicked teeth glint in the fluorescent lighting as he grins.

“Nah, I think it outta be you. Peach.”

Shit, shit, shit!

I was right, I should have just gone to my room and never come out.

“But-”

“You can say no, ‘course. This ain’t an order.” The look in his eyes says otherwise. If you decline, you’re sure you’ll either be cleaning toilets for the rest of your life or found dead with his knife in your gut. There is no going easy with this guy.

You gape at him, dumbstruck by the bizarre turn your day had taken. You had hoped you would never have to see this terrifying man ever again, fully prepared to cower and duck out of every room you saw him in. Now, he was asking you, of all people on this base, to teach him?

While this guy had the height and look of a Na’vi, he seemed to utterly despise everything about them. Was it even possible for him to learn anything about the Na’vi, their culture and their language, for it to really make a difference in whether he found them or not?

You weren’t even good at teaching! You were far better at learning and observing than educating people, and you had never been interested in changing that. Could you really teach this guy anything? Was he even capable of learning?

Your face hardens as you realize you’re faced with no other choice but to accept.

I guess we’ll see.

“You know, if you’re too chicken-shit to help me out, I could always get-”

“I’ll do it.” Your voice comes out firm, as confidently as you dared to speak to him.

“…oh?” He raises an eyebrow, looking surprised. And skeptical, the asshole.

You nod your head, letting out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. You are nervous, yes, but it had been decided. There was no going back now.

In for a penny, in for a pound.

“Yes. I’ll teach you everything you want to know about the Na’vi. But I-I also want something in return.”

His eyebrow raises higher.

You muster all the courage and audacity you can find in your body. Admittedly, there isn’t much, but you scrounge up enough to say the next few words aloud,

“In exchange for teaching you, I want you to teach me how to fight. I need to be able to protect myself when I’m out in the forest collecting samples, and I would ask one of my friends, but they can barely handle butter knives. And you are obviously…”

You eye him from top to bottom, eyes lingering on his massive arms before you can stop yourself.

“…capable.” You finish lamely, swallowing. You refuse to back down though, tilting your chin up and keeping eye contact.

Quaritch grins slowly.

“Well, little Peach, you certainly have bigger balls than I thought! It’s a deal-”

You hold your hand out for a handshake, palm open.

“To make it official.”

Quaritch glances down at your hand and then at your face, expression unreadable. And then, slowly, he reaches to grasp your hand and most of your arm once more. He pumps your entire arm down three times, eyes never leaving yours.

If you dared to think it, you might have thought he looked almost…impressed.

You clear your throat, face on fire. “So. When would work best for you, for our lessons?”

“…0500 every day for the next two months outta do it.”

Your eyes widen in horror, mouth dropping open all over again in protest. You barely keep yourself from grasping your chest in shock.

These military guys, did they never learn how to fucking sleep in!? That’s so damn early!

His sneering smirk returns to his face at your reaction, “Come on, Peach! Where’s your sense of adventure? You’ll tell me everything I need to know about the tree-fuckers, and I’ll teach you how to take a fist to the face, that sound good? About two hours each, four hours in total every single god-damn day. Good? Good.”

You sputter, hardly believing your ears. “Four hours every day? Don’t you have better things to do!?”

“Nope. My entire purpose for existing is to capture the traitor Jake Sully and end this war once and for all. With your help, I might actually be able to do that, which means that your time is now my time. Got it?”

You nod, queasy. It seems like all of your bravado from earlier had fled, leaving you with only the shakes and a bad feeling in your stomach.

“Yes, sir.”

“Good girl, Peach. Knew you had it in ya’!”

He claps your shoulder, and even through your shirt you can feel the warmth leaching off his hand and into your own skin.

The grin he wears makes you shiver, and you suddenly feel like prey that had just been caught by a predator, sharp teeth sinking into your neck and bleeding you dry.

He leads you to the door of his bedroom and practically tosses you out, done with you now that he had gotten what he wanted. He barely gives himself a chance to say, “See you bright an’ early tomorrow morning, Peach!” before he is slamming the door in your gawking face.

You stood outside his door for a few moments, simply processing. Eventually, you’re able to make your feet unstick from the floor and you wander back to the break room in a daze, mind clouded.

I can’t fucking believe that just happened. This is going to change my entire schedule for the next few months! Jesus Christ.

You practically stumble through the hallways toward your destination. Once you reach the door to the break room, you lean your arm against it and press your forehead into your arm. Your eyes close, and your heart jackhammers in your chest.

I don’t there’s anyone in my entire life who has ever made me as nervous as that guy. Holy shit.

You take deep breaths, trying to relax your muscles and get some air into your lungs. It takes a few moments, but eventually you’re able to get your heart rate down to a steady pump.

You lick your lips, suddenly parched.

When you lean up from your perch against the door and open your eyes, you can see the faint form of your face shining up from the metal of the door. Your pupils are blown, eyes still wide, and your cheeks are red.

He is seriously the scariest motherfucker I’ve ever met. And now I’m going to have to teach him things! I don’t know how I’m going to do it without passing out a few times, ohmygod. This is going to be miserable.

You swallow as best you can with a dry throat and shakily reach up to fix your messy hair, smoothing down flyaways. You straighten your shirt, crack your neck, and plaster a calm smile onto your face.

There’s no reason to let them know how terrified I am.

You open the door to the break room and step inside, ready to answer any questions they must surely have, and…

The room is empty.

You deflate, hand rubbing down your face and feeling embarrassed.

Of course they wouldn’t wait, we have a linking session in thirty minutes…that I am now late for. Fantastic.

------

You spend the rest of the day completely distracted, too worried about what might happen the next morning. It even took longer than usual for you to link into your Avatar, and when you were finally able to get outside, you had to answer to the swarm of nosy scientists you called your friends.

They were just concerned, you knew, but you didn’t like having to relive the entire stressful event down to the last detail. Still, you gave in and spilled, telling them about Quaritch’s ‘proposition’ (ha!) and leaving out the part where he had taken you to his bedroom.  

They had all given you looks that ranged from horrified -Emma-, sympathetic -Margot and James-, and utterly uncaring -David-.

You start drinking from your water bottle franticly after you tell them everything, feeling anxious all over again.

“Well, maybe this won’t be such a bad thing,” Margot says, expression turning contemplative. All members of your group are sitting outside around a creaky wooden table in your Avatar forms, enjoying the fresh, sweet air and the bright light of Pandora as the rays warm your cyan skin. When you tilt your head back to let it shine on your face, it almost feels like home had been before the pollution clouded the sky.

Your hearing in this form is incredibly sensitive, and it hurts to hear the loud, never-ending beeping and rumbling of production taking place. It had taken you weeks to spend much time outside, and even then, you still sometimes have to put your hands over your big pointy ears when the sounds become too overwhelming.

Margot curls her large fingers underneath her chin and props her head up in her hand, “I mean, you’ll learn to protect yourself, so there’s that. Also, um…” She looks at the rest of the group mischievously, and they all get questioning looks on their faces.

She clears her throat and leans in closer to you. She puts a hand in front of her mouth, blocking it from the others, and whispers into your ear,

“I really, really wouldn’t mind getting to see how big his dick actually is and maybe you’ll get a chance.”

You choke on the water pouring into your mouth, spraying it all over the table you are sitting at. The liquid gets caught in your throat, causing you to cough painfully.

“Oh my god, Margot!” you screech, still coughing into your elbow and voice coming out scratchy. Your watery eyes glare at her over your arm.

Margot shrugs, “What, I was just saying what we were all thinking. He’s the biggest guy here, which has gotta mean something, right?” She wiggles her eyebrows and grins salaciously, and you bury your face into your arm.

“If he ever heard you saying anything like that, he would put his knife straight through your face without even hesitating!”

“I’ll let him put something else in my face if he wants.”

“Margot!”

It wasn’t like you hadn’t noticed that Colonel Miles Quaritch was a beautiful man. It would be impossible, really. Despite the sneer he always seemed to have on his face, the deep cyan of his skin, his wide, golden eyes, and his tall, broad frame were enough to make anybody swoon.

And his feline features weren’t the only thing that made him attractive. You could see his beauty in his long-fingered and broad hands, in his high cheekbones, in the curve of his lips even when they were curled up in disdain. 

It wouldn’t surprise you to learn that a lot of people thought he was attractive just because of his attitude, either. Back home it seemed that everyone was interested in the cocky, proud, manly posturing that Quaritch seemed to like to do.

But despite how pretty he may be, he was also absolutely, shit-your-pants terrifying, and an asshole, which was enough for you to keep it in your pants. That, and the fact that he hated your guts.

“Trust me, Margot, I’ll be too busy trying not to piss him off again to see how big anything is.”

Great, now I’m thinking about his dick.

Margot rolls her eyes but leans back in her seat and drops the subject, “Your loss, then.”

James strikes up a new topic, just as embarrassed as you, and you slouch gratefully back into your seat, glad that the interrogation is over.

It’s nearing darkness by the time you all finish your linking sessions, and the group shuffles their way back into the sleeping center for the Avatars. You move over to your assigned bed, crawling under the soft sheets and sighing deeply.

You lightly traced your right-hand index finger over the smooth skin of your left arm, causing goosebumps to rise. It was still so strange, being able to actually feel with a body that was yours but not, having so many new features that you still have to adjust to even weeks later. Having a whole-ass tail, being several feet taller than any human alive, having super strength, hell, even being blue was still just totally fucking weird.

You lay back into the cot and attempt to clear your mind from any thoughts, but it was just as hard as it had been when you had linked earlier. After a few minutes, you are finally able to silence your mind and drift off just enough for the link to become secure and for you to wake up in the gel link bed, back in your human body.

By the time you walk to your room, you are bone-wary, almost stumbling on your feet. You dread the coming morning, and the only thing you want to do now is turn off your brain and rest. Your shoulders hurt from the stress of the day, and when you finally unlock your bedroom door, take off your clothes, shower, and brush your teeth, you’re practically hunched over.

You shuffle under the covers once again, and you’re unconscious before your head can fully settle onto the pillow. 

------

Your eyes pop open, arms and legs flailing wildly in your sheets as you struggle to reach over to your alarm clock to silence its screaming. When you finally smack it, the crack of your hand connecting with its durable metal makes your palm sting angrily.

You let out a hoarse groan, cradling your hand to your chest as you flop down onto your bed. It had barely felt like you had gotten a wink of sleep last night, too busy thinking about your approaching morning with Quaritch. Scenarios ranging from you accidentally stabbing him to him purposefully stabbing you ran through your head, keeping you awake after only a few hours of rest.

Eventually, you stop your moping and reluctantly pull yourself out of your bed, eyes blearily glaring around your room.

It’s still a gray and sad little space, your room, but you had placed the small number of personal items you brought with you to Pandora throughout it. The one picture you had of your parents sits framed on your desk, along with your holotablet.  

The few items of clothing and the two pairs of shoes you owned were put up in your closet haphazardly, and your hygienic amenities were scattered across the small bathroom connected to your room.

Your room and areas beyond it are all so generic and boring, which is why you spend most of your time either with your group or outside in your Avatar, being able to run around and feel. And once you were finally able to leave Bridgehead, your life would start, and it wouldn’t matter what your room looked like.

You tiredly get dressed and brush your teeth and your wild hair, putting it up into a simple ponytail to keep it out of your face. Once you’re suitable, you head out and lock the door behind you, placing the key in the right pocket of your jeans.

The hallways are quiet for once, and even the incessant roaring of construction has stopped. You walk down the softly lit hallways to the mess hall, unreasonably jealous of the people who get to sleep in their beds.

Most of the lights are off when you walk in, but to your surprise, there are a few people sitting down at a table already eating their breakfast.

Guess my assumption about the military was right, they really don’t know how to sleep in.

To your delight, there is a light amount of muffins and bagels laid out on a table nearby, but the most important thing was the coffee pot next to them.

Looks like the shipment finally came in. Margot is going to piss her pants.

You gladly snag two muffins with napkins and two small cups of coffee, heading right back out the door to the hallway with a friendly smile to the person walking in. They look blankly back at you, but you don’t mind as you stuff a chocolate chip muffin into your mouth as you walk.

You shuffle the remaining muffin and cups into your left hand and elbow crook, grasping the cold metal handle of the glass door that leads into the center with your right hand. You can see a head of black curls poke out from the side of a monitor, followed quickly by a scowl and a pair of eyes glaring blearily at you as you walk in.

You wince. “Morning, Tom. Thanks again for doing this, I really appreciate it.”

Tom had been the unlucky soul you had asked to help link you into your Avatar every morning for the foreseeable future. He had balked when you had asked, saying “Hell no!” before the words were fully out of your mouth. You had leveled him with your best begging look and offered to pay for six of the ridiculously expensive books you know he liked to read coming in on the next supply shipment.

He grouchily agreed to the deal but demanded you bring him breakfast every morning. You had accepted with a pleased smile.

Tom rolls his eyes and snatches the cup of coffee from your hand when you offer it. You’re about to warn him about how hot it was when he gulps half of it down. You watch, halfway impressed and halfway feeling the pain for him in your own throat.

“Let’s get started, then.” His voice is even more crackly than yours is this early.

You nod hurriedly and take one last sip of your coffee before you reluctantly set it down on the table. You walk over to the link bed and crawl in, and Tom pulls the cover down over you. You settle in, closing your eyes to clear your mind.

------

“There ya’ are, Peach! I was startin’ to think you’d chickened out on me.” Quaritch’s loud voice startles you out of your sleepy trance, and your head snaps up from where it is laying against the metal table you are sitting at.

The asshole looks as awake and lucid as usual, not a hint of tiredness on his face. He grins nastily when he sees your sleepy expression.

“We didn’t agree on a place to meet up, sir.” You are barely able to cover your yawn with a hand, and you stand with a grimace.

“That is true. From now on, we’ll do our lessons in Courtyard Six. Try to keep up.”

He turns and walks away, clearly expecting you to follow. You hurry to catch up with his long stride, but it’s much easier to do in this form. He’s almost ten feet tall, but your Avatar is eight and a half feet tall, and you are able to lengthen your stride to match his pace. Your shoulder width and muscles are still much smaller than his, but you imagined most were.

As you step in close to him, your nose twitches, and you realize something that almost makes you trip.

Quaritch smells really, really good.

You lean in closer to him and inhale discreetly, deeper than before, and, yep, that scent is definitely coming from him.

It is such a rich scent, a strange combination of rainwater, black coffee, and something smoky, like a campfire.  

The smell is so strong that it feels like a physical mist floating its way through your nose and ears and into your head. Your mind goes fuzzy, as if suddenly stuffed with cotton. Your lips and fingertips tingle. And to your absolute horror, you can actually feel your mouth start to water.

It’s just such a lovely scent.

Do you think he’d be okay with it if I pressed my nose into his neck to smell him better-No!

You try to break out of the mist, shaking your head to get rid of the images of licking up his neck, tasting his skin, the way his head would tilt back and you would be able to feel his rumbling groan spread through his chest pressed up against your own and-

Stop it! Jesus Christ, don’t even think about it!

This is just a completely normal physical reaction, right? Maybe, but it wasn’t like this with the other guys!

In front of you, Quaritch’s footsteps stutter to a stop for a split second before resuming. It’s barely a pause, but it’s enough to make you snap out of your thoughts and look up at him. When you do, you notice the slight twitching of his own feline-like nose.

Is he smelling the same thing?

He turns his head around slightly to look at you, and you make eye contact with him just enough to notice his pupils are blown out, consuming most of his iris.

My eyes are probably no better, you think, before ducking your head to watch your feet as you walk.

Quaritch stares at you for a moment and then turns his attention back toward the path, and you do the same. You discreetly rub at your sensitive nose, trying to get his fantastic scent out of your head. A few moments after you do, Quaritch rubs at his own nose.

It doesn’t work, but by the time you reach the courtyard you’ve already gotten a little used to it. Thankfully you don’t feel as lightheaded anymore, but you have no idea if it is going to come back.

You notice that the sky has begun to lighten up as Quaritch unlocks the chain-link gate leading into the yard. Not that you really need any light, what with being able to see in the dark and all.

 He stops once you enter and closes the gate behind you, and you can immediately tell why he had chosen this courtyard out of all the others. It was hidden behind a big wall of concrete that had no windows, so nobody could see you from inside the building, and it was positioned all the way in the back of the court section, meaning it was far more remote and private than the others.

Probably doesn’t want his tough guy image to be hurt when people saw him learning about the Na’vi and chatting with a little scientist, the prick.

The enclosure is a simple little area with a small basketball court, a tetherball pole, and a metal table. Nothing special, but it would be perfect for your lessons. 

He turns around to meet your eyes, and you still have to tilt your head back to return his yellow gaze. The bioluminescent markings on his face glow brightly.  

“You wanna go first, Peach?”

You swallow nervously but nod, “I’ll go first. I thought a lot about what our first lesson was going to be last night.”

You drop down onto the soft faux grass that covered the courtyard, legs crisscross applesauce in front of you as you avoid sitting on your flicking tail. You look up at him expectantly when he continues to stand.

Quaritch looks at the table sitting just a few feet away and shrugs. He plops down onto the grass hesitantly and crosses his legs in front of him the same as you. Now that he’s actually here, all the plans you made completely leave your brain, and you mind turns blank as you struggle to come up with something to say. You both sit there in silence for a few moments before he says,

“So are you actually going to say anything in this lesson or what? Usually I can’t get you quacks to shut the fuck up-”

“Sorry, sorry! I’m just trying to figure out where to start. Um…” Your brain flashes to what Quaritch had said when he started this whole thing, wanting to learn more about the way the Na’vi think, what’s important to them, how they work.

“Okay. Well, I guess the first place to start would be at the very beginning. Millions of years ago, when-”

Quaritch interrupts you with a loud groan, throwing his head back in exasperation, “I’m not askin’ for a history lesson here, Peach. Just tell me about them now, how they operate now, in this time, not millions of years ago! Jesus Christ, you pretentious assholes always have to drag things out-”

“Okay, alright, I’m sorry! Um, so the most important thing to know about the Na’vi is their connection to nature, their connection to Eywa. You’ve heard about Her, right?”

You continue to speak when Quaritch nods. “Right, well, She protects the balance of life here on Pandora, and the Na’vi love Eywa, the Great Mother. All things on Pandora are connected to each other through Eywa; you, me, plants, animals, you name it. Life and the forest are sacred to them because it bonds them to Eywa. They can actually speak to Her, and there are places like the Tree of Souls and the Tree of Voices that are sacred to them. They connect all the Na’vi to Eywa and to their ancestors, and they can actually hear the voices of past living people, isn’t that amazing? Are you with me so far?”

Quaritch nods again, surprisingly quiet. In fact, it’s probably the longest you’ve ever seen him be silent. His face is carefully blank, eyebrows furrowed with some unnamed emotion as he listens to you speak.

And that’s how the next two hours go, you talking and Quaritch listening with rapt attention. You had no idea if what you were talking about was anything Quaritch wanted to hear, but he didn’t interrupt you other than to ask a rare question.  

About an hour in you stood up and stretched, bones popping and limbs aching from sitting on the ground for so long. Your ass was practically numb, and your left leg was stinging with pins and needles. You put your hands on your hips and looked down at Quaritch, who remained sitting on the grass.

For the first time ever, you were actually the one towering over him, and the thought made you grin as he looked up at you.

It seemed he could tell what you were thinking, because he scowled and pulled himself up on his feet, looming over you once more. He stretched his long arms above his head to get the blood flowing back in, groaning just like you had a moment ago.

You paused your own movement, gaze lingering on the way his strong muscles shifted underneath his pretty blue skin. They bunched up as his arms flexed, and your mouth turned dry.

Your eyes flickered over them for a few moments and then shifted to his face. Your stomach swooped low as you realized he had caught you looking, and you stared at him in mortification as his sneering, arrogant smile returned full force to his face. He looked so smug.

You had no idea your Avatar could even blush from embarrassment, but your cheeks burned all the same. You hurriedly turned your gaze away from him entirely, eyes squeezed shut.

He let out a low, unpleasant chuckle, clearly taking immense pleasure in your misery.

Asshole!

You stood for a few more minutes, back facing him as you pretended to examine the sky with incredible interest, waiting for your blush to fade and your stomach to settle. Eventually, you both sat on the grass once again, and you resumed your speech.

You talked about all things Na’vi related, from their connection to Eywa to what they wore, what they ate, their ceremonies, anything that popped into your head that you felt was important to mention.

In the grand scheme of things, you weren’t able to cover very much ground before your two hours were up and your lesson ended for the day.

By this time, Pandora’s light has returned from the eclipse, shining down brightly on both of you.

“So, how did I do?” you dare ask Quaritch.

“Well. Now I know what a Na’vi eats for breakfast, so. That’s something.”

You groan and bury your face in your hands, “I’m sorry, you said you wanted to know what they ate and everything! I promise we’ll eventually get into the more interesting and important things.”

Please don’t put me on toilet duty. I can do this!

Quaritch sighs, but says, “Don’t worry, Peach. We’ll get to the juicier parts someday. Learning to be one’s enemy is a long process, after all.”

He smacks his thighs, and the sound makes you jump, face moving away from your hands. Your nerves reignite in your stomach all over again as you realize it is now time for your lesson.

Why did I ever ask him to do this!? I should never have said anything, now I’m going to be Quaritch’s punching bag for the next few months! Idiot!

A sharp-toothed grin stretches over Quaritch’s face, and he leans in until he’s right in front of you, face close to yours. His yellow eyes bore into yours, and you can see your own terrified expression reflecting right back at you.

“Time for me to teach you, Peach.”

------

 “Alright, Peach. You know how to handle a knife?”

You think about it and shake your head.

“…Okay. Do you know how to throw a punch?”

Again, you shake your head.

Quaritch curses and takes a step back, squeezing his eyes shut and rubbing the middle finger of his right hand between them as if praying for patience.

Both of you are standing in the middle of the small basket court, facing one another. You refuse to feel embarrassed by Quaritch’s reaction to your fighting skills, or lack thereof.

Not everyone can be a terrifying killing machine, asshole!

Quaritch seems to get the patience he was asking for, straightening up with a sigh.

“Back to the basics, then. Jesus.”

He steps up to you and places his warm, large hands on the bare skin of your shoulders. He shuffles you over closer to him, and you go willingly, body tense.

“First step in learning to defend yourself is to not be a pussy.”

Wow. Wonderful advice.

“You need to be firm in your stance and your attack, else your opponent will just be able to knock you off your feet before you can even land a hit. And if your limbs are loose, you’ll lose your balance and go flying just from your own force. Keep your core tight.”

He places a large hand firmly against the bare skin of your stomach and you suck in a surprised breath. His touch tingles through you in a way you’ve never felt before, and you look up at him with wide eyes.

He jerks his hand back and clears his throat. He walks around toward your back, and you can see the veins in his arm shift when his hand flexes by his side.

“When you throw a punch, you need to keep your wrist straight and fully extend your arm each time. Make sure you step like this,” he demonstrates, “and pull your arm like this.”

“Keep your thumb behind your index and middle fingers but out of your fist, don’t stick your pinky out, and you want to hit your opponent with these knuckles right here. Got it?”

You nod slowly, making a fist following his instructions with your right hand. He nods once and then moves in front of you. He lifts his hands in the air, palms facing outward.

“Hit me.”

Already? But I barely even- alright, you know what, I don’t even care anymore.

You shake out your arms self-consciously and try to position your body in the way he had shown you. You pull your arms up, hands folding into fists, stance widening, and you lash your arm out at him with all the strength you can muster.

Your right fist smacks against his open palm with a satisfying thwack, and you grin, tossing your arms above your head at your success.

“Your form was good, Peach, but your fist felt like getting hit with a bug. You need to work on your strength, build up your muscles and your core. Try again.”

You nod, arm flying out and hitting his palm once more.

“No, you need to keep your arm tucked in, not flying out like an idiot bird with a broken wing. Again.”

You hit his hands over and over for the next half an hour as he corrects your form and stance. As he said, you need to build your strength up in this new body, but this was a good start. He has to get in pretty close once again to show you how to move your body, but other than he seems to keep his distance.

You know, this isn’t so bad!

You hit him again a few more times before he nods, satisfied, and drops his arms.

“Now you know how to hit somebody hard, Peach. Always go for sensitive places, like the nose, groin, ears, eyes, kidney, wherever you can reach. Got it?”

You lower your own arms, panting. Reaching out to punch him hadn’t taken much movement from your arms, but doing it over and over again for half an hour made them ache terribly. You struggle to catch your breath.

It had been embarrassing, admittedly, the first few times. You had felt shy and scared all at once, unsure of yourself and uneager to be anywhere near Quaritch, let alone close enough to touch him.

Then you’d lost most of the fear the second time he had lightly smacked your cheek when he got through your defensively positioned arms. They were pretty much love taps, practically pats, but it had lit an angry fire in your stomach. Your uneasiness turned to determination to land at least one hit on him, and you forgot all about your trepidation and that this was Quaritch you were tussling with.

From the way he had grinned and curled his fingers in a ‘come-hither’ gesture, that was probably what he had been trying to do.

He also probably just liked hitting you, the dickbag.

Quaritch nods, and you fully expect him to end the lesson early for the day. What you weren’t expecting was for him to reach down and pull a massive knife from its sheath on his right thigh, bringing it up toward the light for examination.

You lean back quickly, ears flicking to the sides of your head in alarm. You had thought your punching lesson had seemed tame for him! It really wouldn’t surprise you if he decided you needed a lesson on keeping your guard up and lunged at you.  

He won’t stab me, he won’t stab me, he won’t stab me, he won’t stab me-

“This here’s a bowie knife, seventeen inches of serrated steel strong enough to cut through bone.”

He waves it around carefully, smirking at your wide-eyed look of terror.

“And this…” he leans down to put the knife back in its sheath before pulling out something else from a different pocket on his right leg, “This is your knife.”

The little knife is comically small in his giant hand, more of a switchblade than anything else.

“That’ll be the knife you use for the next week at least, so don’t lose it.”

You pluck it from his hand gingerly, fingers folding around the base as you bring it up to your eyes for closer inspection. It looks bigger in your hand than it did in his, and you can see his initials, M.Q, engraved on its tiny metal handle.

Why the hell would a guy as big as Quaritch even need a knife this small? Does he use it as a toothpick?

Nonetheless, you’re glad he didn’t give you anything bigger to use for your first time. You weren’t sure you’d be able to handle it without stabbing yourself.

He shows you how to hold it, how to slash and stab, the proper way to stand and lunge with the little blade.

After another half an hour, he nods.

“Alright, now I want you to try me.” He says, pulling his arms up close to his chest and goading you on once again with a ‘come at me’ curled hand gesture, cocky smirk in place.

You balk. “You want me to charge at you with a knife already? We just got started!”

“Yep, sure did. What, you think you could actually touch me, let alone hurt me with that little thing? Ha!”

You wince. That’s a good point.

You do what he taught you to, adjusting your grip on the blade and positioning your body and feet into the dirt, tightening your core. You take a deep breath, strengthen your muscles, and then leap with a cry.

Quaritch shifts out of the way of your knife quicker than you had yet to see him move, simply stepping to the side with an unsurprised expression.

You go sailing past him, war cry turning panicked. You drop the knife and jerk up your arms to cover your face, turning away and squeezing your eyes shut.

Just as you start tilting toward the dirt, a hand grips the back of the collar of your shirt and pulls you upright before you can even realize you aren’t falling anymore. You remained positioned for impact, hands still in front of your face to cushion your fall even as you stand on your own two feet.

You open your eyes and blink, hands patting down your front as if to make sure no injury had been done to your person.

Quaritch lets go of your collar, knuckles brushing against the sensitive skin of your neck.

“That was fuckin’ pathetic! It was like a wet paper bag was throwin’ itself my way. And where the hell did you learn to cry out like that, ‘cause it was fuckin’ embarrassin’.”

You pay no attention to his harsh words, still stunned you hadn’t face-planted into the dirt for once.

You look up at him, starry-eyed.

“That was amazing, Quaritch! You moved so fast I could barely see you! Have you always been that quick or is it new? Could you teach me how to dodge like that?”

He stares down at you, ears flicking back against the sides of his head. An odd expression crosses his face, almost as though he was taken aback by your wonder.

He clears his throat awkwardly, turning to the side to avoid your strong eye contact.

“That doesn’t matter, not with that pathetic performance. You need ta’ be firm, like I said, and not throwin’ your weight ‘round like a pussy. Come on, do it again.”

You reach down into the dirt to pick up your little knife, and you lunge at him again. He dodges all the same, but you surprise the both of you when you don’t stop, turning around and slashing in his direction.

Of course, the blade doesn’t even touch him, but it’s the thought that counts.

He grins at you, “There you go, Peach! Way to show some initiative, I’ll make a fine soldier out of you yet. Let’s go again, come on.”

And that’s how you end your morning, trying to stab Colonel Miles Quaritch with a knife the size of one of his fingers. You’d have never thought this was where you would be when you met him all those weeks ago, but hey, if learning from him would one day save your life, you’d do it gladly.

By the time two hours have passed, you’re sweating and panting for breath, hands on your knees. Your body was still new, and you hadn’t been in it long enough for you to get past light jogging and reflex training. Honestly, the fact that you were able to do all that moving without collapsing was a god-damn miracle.

You were so much faster in this form, so much more flexible and stronger. Still, that held no comparison to the trained, experienced combat vet you were practically playing with. Because that’s what this would be called, not fighting or even training. It was like playing tag or a slapping game, cause that’s all that happened for the entire lesson.

Quaritch, the fucker, doesn’t have a drop of sweat on him. His chest rose and fell evenly, and he rested one of his hands on the gun holster he had wrapped around his hips.

“You good, Peach? Not going to puke, are ‘ya?” You’d be flattered by his concern for your well-being if it weren’t for the mean, amused tone layering his voice when he spoke.

You stay bent over for a few more moments as you struggle to catch your breath. Eventually, you’re able to rise fully upright. You answer his question, even though you know it was rhetorical,  

“I-I’m good, I think.”

Just as you finish your sentence, your stomach growls angrily, as though enraged at being denied sustenance.

Ugh.

If you weren’t exhausted and beyond caring about what Quaritch thought of you, with your floppy, sweaty form and shitty punches, you would have been embarrassed. Now, though, the only thing you do is pout. Now, you were just a little pissed and tired at getting your ass thoroughly kicked for two hours.

“I’m hungry, can we be finished for the day?”

Quaritch rolls his eyes, unimpressed, but relents.

“Yeah, Peach, we’re done. Let’s get goin’.”

You grin, relieved, and your energy returns just slightly at the thought of lunch. You bound to his side, and he leads the way out of the courtyard and into the space beyond.

The day is in full swing, scientists, soldiers, robots, and trucks all bustling around Bridgehead as you follow Quaritch close on his heels to the mess hall.

You pass by all the tiny little humans, most of whom don’t even spare either of you a glance. Either because they were used to seeing ten-foot-tall Avatars walking around or because they were too busy to give a shit. Probably both, really.

You both have to duck as you walk through the doorway, Quaritch much more than you. You walk over to the table where you had snagged the muffins for breakfast earlier that morning, grabbing three of the sandwiches that were there now instead.

Quaritch grabs six of them, piling them all onto his plate.

You’ve just started scarfing yours down when a large hand whips out across your back, slamming into you. You inhale instinctively and start choking on your food, struggling to breathe. You turn around, fully ready to smash your sandwiches into the face of whichever fucker did that when you see Quaritch’s walking away, waving the spare hand not holding his food up behind him.

“See you ‘round, Peach.”

Oh. Well, at least he said goodbye.

You drink from the water bottle you’d snagged from the mass hall and eat your sandwiches as you walk to the showering station for Avatars. You stay under the pounding warm water longer than you probably should, enjoying the way it soothes the ache in your tense arms and shoulders.

After you’re done washing away the sweat and grime, you head back to the Avatar resting area, ready to be in your own body.

It had taken you a while to learn how to hold onto the brain link connecting your bodies; the first few weeks were the worst when you were learning to hold it longer and longer. Sometimes it would break, and you would slam back into your human body with a gasp, disoriented and head pounding.

Now, though, you were much better at holding onto the link for longer periods, even if it still gave you a headache.

You settle back into the pillows, closing your eyes and letting your mind go blank.

------

When you wake up in your human body, it always feels stuffy, not right, like you’re being squeezed into a tube. Your mouth is always cottony, too, and even though your body was simply laying down like you were asleep, your bones always ache when you get up as if you’ve been doing jumping jacks for however long you were in there.

You step out of the link bed, stretching your arms above your head and groaning. Tom is no longer in the linking center, but you didn’t expect him to be when there were others milling about who could watch over you.

You stand up and wobble a little bit, dizzy. Once it passes and you’re sure you can walk without smacking into anything, you make your way back toward your room, fully intent on sleeping for the rest of the afternoon before the conference in the evening.

Just as you leave the linking center, Margot runs into you, hair wild and eyes a little bit crazy. She grabs onto your shoulders, shaking you back and forth lightly. You let her do whatever she wants, beyond caring.

“How did it go? Did he yell at you, did he flirt any? Ooh, did he smack your ass-? Hey!”

You shake her hands off, walking past her with a roll of your eyes.

“Jesus Christ Margot, you really need to get laid.”

She groans, following after you with quick steps, waving her arms around as she says, “I know! There’s just no one I’ve seen that I’m interested in, so I have to live through you and your sexy romance with Colonel Quaritch-”

You halt, turning around to grab her shoulders. You’re the one shaking her back and forth this time.

“Listen, Margot, there is nothing going on with Quaritch and me at all, nothing sexy, nothing flirty! We literally just met like two days ago, and he’s hated me ever since! Now stop saying stuff like that, or he’s going to overhear us, again, and kill us both. Okay? Okay.”

Margot whines, “Oh, but maybe there could be! If you were just a little less uptight and he was a little less homicidal, you guys could totally get together. I mean, you can’t deny that he might be interested, right? I totally saw the way he was looking at you yesterday!”

“Yeah, he was looking at me like he wanted to wrap his hands around my throat.”

“Kinky.”

“No, Margot, not kinky! More like murderous! You’re starting to sound crazy, Margot, you’ve gotta do something before you start humping anything that moves.”

Margot blushes, finally feeling some sort of shame, and she nods, “Yeah, you’re right, I’m sorry. I’m just so pent-up, honey. Ugh! Okay, I’m going to try to relax somewhere, get outta my head for a little bit. I’ll see you tonight, okay?”

You pat her shoulder and say, “See you then, Margot.”

She gives you one last smile before she’s off, bounding down the hallway. You shake your head in fond exasperation, now even more tired than before, and walk back to your room. You adored Margot, loved her, but sometimes her exuberance made your head pound.

You unlock your door, kick off your shoes, and toss yourself onto the unmade sheets of your bed. One last thought floats through your mind just before you drift off to sleep.  

Maybe mornings with Quaritch won’t be as bad as I thought.

peachy keen. Part Two

[helluvahusker]

Heyyy I wrote a lil post-mastermind fic for y'all 👉👈

Read on AO3 or under the cut

Stolas had not been sleeping well. It wasn’t anyone’s fault, he was simply too tall for Blitzø’s couch, so besides for his first night on it, when he’d conked straight out due to the stress and exhaustion of almost watching Blitzø get executed, almost getting executed himself, and then instead losing his entire livelihood, powers, and his daughter, he hadn’t been able to catch more than a few unrestful hours a night. 

The New Couch

[Psst! The layout of Blitzø's apartment can be found in this Tumblr post.]

Still, he’d rather die than complain. Blitzø had been relegated to a fucking beanbag chair as his bed and he seemed to be sleeping just fine. He appeared chipper as ever, if a little more subdued and gentler, while Stolas spent all his waking hours struggling to focus through a thick fog. He was taking up Blitzø’s sleeping accommodations and he had nothing to show for it.

It was due to Stolas’s sleep deprivation, that when an enormous crash shook the apartment and he peered over the island to see Blitzø coughing and waving dust out of his face, he was sure that everything must have caught up with him, and he was hallucinating. 

"Ta-da!" Blitzø said proudly, holding his arms open in a dramatic L shape to present his new uh. Couch. It had landed partially on top of the old one, sending splinters and stuffing flying. Well that explained the dust. 

"Why did you get a new couch, Blitz?" Stolas asked, his feathers already ruffling agitatedly. "The one you've already provided me with is fine, I don't wish for you to go into trouble-"

Blitzø waved him off impatiently. "Shut up Stolas, anyone with eyes could see your feet dangling off the edge of that thing. Besides, I was due for an upgrade anyways. I solved the problem by snagging a pullout couch from one of our victim's houses. It has a queen sized mattress all folded up in there, plenty of room for your fancy ass to spread out with room to spare, capiche?"

Stolas capiched. Blitzø had gotten tired of the fact that his bed was not big enough for the two of them and had gotten them one that would be. How silly and rude of Stolas to be accusatory about it.  

“Right,” he said. “That makes sense, yes. But why in Hell wouldn’t you move the old one out of the way first?” 

Blitzø at least had the grace to look sheepish. “Okay, maybe it was more of a spur of the moment decision. I saw the pullout, I thought it would be nice for you. Look, I’m not a genius like you or Moxxie, you can’t expect me to think everything through. That would fuck up my whole-” he flailed his hands some more. “-thing I’ve got going on.” 

Stolas did love Blitzø’s whole “thing” so he refrained from arguing. It was already done, anyways. 

“If I still had my magic I could help move the old couch away,” Stolas lamented. “I’m so sorry, Blitz. You’ve done such a sweet thing for me and I can’t even repay you.” 

“Hey!” Blitzø leapt towards him, vaulting over the room divider and taking Stolas’s dainty hands in his own. “None of that. You don’t owe me anything, alright? It’s okay, Loonie can help me move the couch when she gets home and I’ll portal the old one away, easy peasy no harm no foul.” 

It was rather odd, Blitzø appeared to be… blushing. Stolas blinked. That couldn’t be right. 

The next second Blitzø got distracted, noticing the novel that was placed open face-down on his kitchen table. “Oh hey! You were reading? That- that’s great, Stols.” 

Blitzø smiled at him so disarmingly, that now Stolas was blushing, quite obviously. 

“Yes, you picked a rather good one, actually,” Stolas said. In fact, it was so good that this was the first day he’d felt up to doing anything other than sitting on the couch staring aimlessly at the TV. Lucky thing, too. He glanced down at their hands, which were still joined, and gave Blitzø’s a squeeze. “Thank you for that, Blitz.” 

“Of course,” Blitzø said, and withdrew his hands, definitely blushing. He hesitated, like he wasn’t sure what to do or say next. That was ridiculous, of course. Stolas had never met anyone, imp or otherwise, who always knew exactly what to do or say in any given instance more than Blitzø did. 

“Did you have a good day at work?” Stolas asked, ready to invite Blitzø to sit down with him so that they could talk until Loona returned. 

To his disappointment, Blitzø’s eyes widened. “Oh shit, I was totally in the middle of a hit! I left M&M stranded in the human world! Fuuuuuck me.” He grasped Stolas’s face gently and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “I’ll be home soon with Loona, kay? Just hang tight, enjoy your book.” And then with a flash of a portal, he was gone. 

Stolas was left blinking after him stupidly. He raised a shaking hand to his cheek and touched the spot where Blitzø had kissed him. 

-------------

The second time Blitzø came home, he did in fact have his daughter in tow. Stolas watched, feeling useless, as they worked together to lift the new couch off the wreckage of the old one. He caught Blitzø’s expression of relief as he fished his horse blanket out of the mess, somehow still entirely intact. Once the new couch was clear of all the wood shards and ripped cushions, Blitzø rubbed his crystal and a portal appeared under the old one. They all watched it fall away into an unidentifiable living room, presumably the one Blitzø had gotten this new piece of furniture from, because it was conspicuously missing anywhere to sit. 

“There!” Blitzø clapped his hands together proudly once the portal had closed. “All done, thanks Loony! I’m sure Stolas and I can figure the rest of it out.” 

Loona just shrugged, already halfway through the doorway to her room. 

Blitzø looked up at Stolas, who was hovering awkwardly in the space between the kitchen and living room. “Wanna see if we can figure out how this thing unfolds?” 

It wasn’t too difficult. There was a handle under the seat cushions that, when pulled, somehow expanded out into an entire bed, as promised.  

“I guess we can just leave it out like this all the time, for now,” Blitzø said, rubbing his chin. “Business is picking up. Soon I can probably find us a two bedroom, so you can have your own space. But this’ll do for now, right?” 

It struck Stolas as odd, that Blitzø wasn’t prioritizing his own space. Perhaps he just meant because they were both in the living room. 

“This is more than enough,” Stolas said, realizing he’d almost been silent for too long. This time, he moved forward and took Blitzø’s hand in his own. “Really, Blitz. Thank you.” 

“Oh. Uh.” Stolas couldn’t possibly be imagining, both of Blitzø’s cheeks were turning mismatched shades of pink. The imp swallowed. “Really, Stolas. It’s no problem. It’ll make me feel better if I know you’re getting a good night’s sleep.” 

“That’s so sweet.” Stolas paused. “Darling,” he added, just because he needed to see what would happen. If he was allowed. 

Blitzø’s eyes widened. “I- oh. I- uh. Yeah.” He backed away, pulling his hands in towards himself protectively. “I have to make dinner.” Now he paused, and contemplated Stolas cautiously. “You wanna help?” 

Stolas’s feathers fluffed in astonishment. “Yes!” he said, then tried to tone down the enthusiasm, in case Blitzø found it off putting, like he had so many times before. “Ahem, I mean, I’m afraid I’ll be starting from an almost completely beginner standpoint, but yes, I would love to assist in any way I can.” 

Blitzø threw him an odd look. “Well alright, you didn’t have to use so many words about it. But-” he added, before Stolas could go and get his feelings hurt. “I kinda like that you did. Now get in here and we’ll get choppin’.” 

-----------

Well as it turned out, Stolas wasn’t entirely useless without his powers. He proved to be absolutely average at kitchen-related activities, which seemed to match Blitzø quite well, as he gave Stolas gentle and thorough instructions full of dozens of tips and tricks he’d picked up over the years. 

Still, the imp absolutely bragged to his daughter about how Stolas had helped make the food. 

Even stranger, her reaction had been a borderline-impressed, “Oh shit, not bad,” before retreating to her room.

Stolas beamed at both of them, not because he believed it was anything special but because it genuinely wasn’t bad, and that was good enough right now. He was feeling so proud of his amateur cooking skills that when Blitzø offered for him to come into IMP tomorrow - Stolas had been showing great interest in how his work went, the first real interest he’d felt in days - he almost said yes. Hesitated and thought about it deeply, chewing his lower beak and nearly going cross eyed. 

In the end though, he sighed and looked away and asked for a few more days

Blitzø took one of his hands within his own and held it in his lap until Stolas looked at him. 

“Hey,” Blitzø said gently, “A few days is way sooner than never. I want to make sure you’re really feeling up to it before I drag you into I.M.P.’s mess too. I’m glad you’re starting to feel better, even if it’s not all the way yet. Take the time you need, okay?” 

“Okay,” Stolas whispered, his eyes once again darting away from Blitzø’s. 

Blitzø drew back and started gathering up their empty dinner plates. “You should go change, birdy. Almost time to try out that cozy new bed of yours.” 

“Oh! You don’t want to teach me how to do the dishes too?” Stolas asked, mind short circuiting at the thought of sharing a bed with Blitzø again. But like, in a good way. “I helped make, I should help clean.”

Blitzø considered that. “How about you wipe down the table? Just take a damp rag to it, clean rags are in that drawer over there.” He motioned to the drawer.

While Stolas peered in the drawer, Blitzø got started on the dishes. The actual rule of the house was whoever used a dish cleaned it, but Blitzø usually ended up doing Loona’s anyways due to her dislike of being outside her room. He didn’t mind washing Stolas’s too. 

A long arm snaked around him and Blitzø would have jumped- except he’d been keeping track of exactly where Stolas was, and it felt almost natural as Stolas held his rag under the faucet for a few seconds to dampen it, his stomach feathers brushing the back of Blitzø’s head. No, instead Blitzø found himself frozen, not wanting to disrupt the moment. 

Stolas didn’t seem to notice, stepping away a moment later and turning to wipe the table in long graceful strokes, humming the prettiest little tune Blitzø had ever heard. He spent way longer wiping the table clean than Blitzø would have, but that was probably a good thing. Most of the time Blitzø didn’t even bother wiping the table down until it started grossing him out. 

“What shall I do with the dirty rag?” Stolas asked, his voice barely audible above the rush of running water and the sudsing of soap on dishes as Blitzø scrubbed them. 

“Just leave it, I’ll rinse it and hang it to dry when I’m done,” Blitzø said, glancing over his shoulder. So he caught the look of confusion and then understanding that dawned as Stolas understood that the laundry situation was a whole lot different here than it had been at the palace. 

“Alright.” Stolas’s hand landed feather-light atop Blitzø’s shoulder. “I’ll go get ready for bed, then. See you in a bit, darling.” 

Definitely unrelated to Stolas touching him and calling him sweet things, Blitzø’s hand jerked, and he accidentally sprayed himself with water. Stolas’s hooting little giggles drifted over his spluttered curses as the owl backed away to get ready for bed. 

When he’d finished cleaning everything up and gotten himself into his own pjs, Blitzø tiptoed into the living room, hoping that the new mattress was so comfy Stolas would already be in snoozeland, but no such luck. Instead, it appeared Stolas had deliberately waited up for him. He was sitting up, the edges of his feet still too long and dangling off the edge, and he smiled when Blitzø rounded the couch and entered his line of sight. 

The smile dropped just as quickly as Blitzø headed over to his beanbag chair and curled up in it. 

“What are you doing?” Stolas asked. 

Blitzø looked at him quizzically. “Going to sleep? Why, do you need something?” 

“No! No, I- Well, I…” Stolas seemed to be struggling to find words, frown lines creasing his face unpleasantly. Blitzø’s heart dropped. Fuck, and today had been going so well for him. 

“Is it the new bed?” Blitzø asked. “I’m sorry Stolas, human mattresses are just shorter than you, I wish I could afford a goetia-sized one, but-”

“It’s not that!” Stolas interrupted, louder than he meant to. He just couldn’t tolerate Blitzø being so apologetic, so- ugh. Best to be straightforward about things, even if that hadn’t ended up so well in the past. 

“I just thought that you would be sharing this new bed with me,” Stolas admitted, twisting his fingers tightly in the horseshoe blanket. “I mean, it is big enough. I don’t wish for you to not have a real bed because of me anymore.” 

“That’s really nice, Stolas,” Blitzø said, his voice oddly hoarse, “but I can’t.”

Stolas raised an eyebrow, voice coming out sharper and bitchier than it had in weeks, maybe months. “And why the fuck not?” 

Blitzø shot a nervous glance at Loona’s door before turning a glare on Stolas. “Because I won’t be able to keep my fucking hands off you,” he hissed.

“No one said you had to,” Stolas shot back, lowering his voice to match Blitzø’s out of respect for his daughter. “Besides, you very much haven’t. Why start now?”

The imp’s face went blank. “What do you mean?” 

Stolas made an impatient noise. “Oh come now, we’ve held hands more in the last few days then we did for the entire duration of our arrangement. Earlier today you kissed me on the cheek, and,” Stolas could feel himself blushing, thinking about the vague ghostlike memory of his first night here, “I’m quite certain that wasn’t the first time.” 

A look of regret and longing passed over Blitzø’s face. 

Stolas took it upon himself to draw back the covers invitingly. “Please come to bed with me, darling. We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, we can just cuddle.” 

Blitzø huffed, like this wasn’t something he’d been dreaming about for weeks and struggled out of the beanbag. “Absolutely not,” he said, climbing into the bed, settling beside Stolas and pulling the blanket up to his chin. “If we’re doing this, then we’re gonna talk.” 

“Very well.” Stolas reached under the blanket and tangled their fingers together. “Would you like to start or shall I?” 

“I will.” Blitzø’s voice was definitely not shaking, not even a little bit. “I’m glad you’re here and I don’t want you to leave. That’s all. Anything else you want, it’s yours. We go at your pace. Just-” Blitzø’s hand squeezed Stolas’s. The imp wasn’t looking at him, instead staring straight ahead, like he couldn’t bear to be seen while saying something so vulnerable. “-Keep me in the loop about what you’re thinking, okay? I promise I’ll believe you this time.” 

“I promise I shall try to be understanding and reassuring if you don’t,” Stolas replied, his throat tight. 

He understood better now, had had that month to reflect on Blitzø’s initial reaction that dreadful full moon, and now these precious days in Blitzø’s apartment, learning more about just how much they both hated themselves. 

But not each other. They’d both clearly been wrong about that. 

“I am happy to stay with you,” Stolas continued softly, “for as long as you’ll have me. I’ve known for a while now that you’re it for me, Blitz. As long as you know that, I believe everything will work itself out.”

Funny, how optimistic he felt about it. There was something about being called after desperately during a near-death experience, followed by being wholeheartedly welcomed into someone’s home that just… helped quiet all those pesky voices that were always telling Stolas no one could ever love him. 

He’d been ready to die for Blitzø, and Blitzø had been ready to die for him. 

“You’re it for me too, Stolas,” Blitzø said. He’d clearly been following a similar line of thought, because his next words were, “if you ever try to die for me again, we’re going to have a fucking problem, got it?” 

“I understand,” Stolas answered, because that was something he couldn’t promise. 

But neither of them had died. Blitzø had taken care of him instead, and now maybe Stolas could do the same. At least until the next big problem - and there was sure to be a next big problem, whether that be how to get Octavia back, Andrealphus or Satan seeking them out again, or something else entirely - reared its ugly head. 

“Good,” Blitzø said, aggressively snuggling up to Stolas’s side. “Good talk. Now go to sleep.” 

“Yes dear,” Stolas said lightly. He bent his neck and pecked a tender kiss to the top of Blitzø’s head. “Sweet dreams.” 

When he turned on to his side and curled around Blitzø, drawing his knees up to his stomach, all of him fit perfectly on the mattress. He could feel himself melting quickly into sleep, all that tiredness catching up with him. 

Blitzø buried his face in Stolas’s long-missed chest fluff and threw an arm over him, and a leg for good measure, keeping him close.

The bed could hold them both, and nothing was going to keep them apart now. 

[violetrainbow412-blog]

Trust [K. B]

Kaz Brekker x fem!reader

wc: 7.8k

summary: something goes wrong with a heist and Kaz's anger lashes out at you, only later realizing it's not for the reasons you thought.

A/N: I feel like it took me literally YEARS to write this. Someone requested the central idea but I decided to expand a bit and since in anon he mentioned that they like hurt/comfort I hope I have achieved it. I hope you like it, thanks for reading!

warnings: trauma (again)

taglist: @be-lla-vie @milkshake0 @ladespedidas

As soon as you stepped foot inside The Slat, you felt enormous relief to think that you could finally get some rest. The day before, the boss had told you that it was necessary to recover something and had drawn up a general outline of how things would be carried out, so to avoid mistakes, instead of sending just one group, the whole team would go. But at a certain point things had gone wrong and then the whole mission had gone awry. You were scared and everyone else was scared, but you knew that Kaz was probably the most upset about it. He hadn't spoken to anyone since you had to flee the mansion.

“Well, I declare that a resounding failure. Good night, my friends,” Jesper said, holding his side with a wince. Wylan was at his side to catch him in case the pain buckled his knees.

You sighed, defeated, and started walking towards the stairs to take a shower to remove all traces of dust, blood, and shame that you had impregnated on your skin, however, Kaz's cane stopped hitting you in the stomach, blocking your way and suffocating you at the same time.

"Are you crazy?" he asked, his voice raspier than usual. You asked yourself if he was referring to your plans, which he obviously couldn't know about, and why he was upset, but it didn't take anything more to get an answer, "What the fuck was that in the mansion?"

Oh, that is what he meant. 

To recap a bit, your goal that night was to recover a few bags of cash that a new gang at The Barrel had stolen but originally belonged to the Crow Club, i. e you guys. It was a payment for an exchange that Kaz had made days ago with art supplies or something, it was a business that none of you were very involved in.

The black-haired man knew the place where it was kept (he always seemed to know the whole city like the back of his hand) and so he had drawn up a pretty solid plan with which you could get away with it. Regularly his plans contemplated in the most opportune way each of your abilities: guns, stealth, the Grisha qualities, strength, chemicals, and the skills with your hands in which you surpassed the man. It was almost like something in you and your friends used to joke that your hands were a kind of magnet for everything shiny, although those same hands also worked perfectly to use a pick and give access to many places.

Things were going well that night, until you had to make a last-minute decision when you found out that an unknown person was in the place and you wanted to get them out of there so they wouldn't be in the crossfire. That was the 'certain point' I had mentioned before, where everything got screwed up. It was about a poor and defenseless servant girl who started screaming like crazy when she saw you and although you tried to calm her down that was enough to draw the attention of the guards, who came towards you to capture you. And since you were very busy struggling with two armed goons, you couldn't fulfill your part of the plan, which was to open the vault where the money that you were going to steal was. It had been a rather unfortunate chain of events.

"Kaz, you know I didn't mean to…"

"Are you deaf, then?" he interrupted you, ignoring your attempt at justification. He took a step towards you, limping a bit due to the lack of a cane, and then you could see the expression on his face.

You'd only seen Kaz this angry once and the poor man who caused it was already resting in peace, so you cringed in on yourself like a scared little bird.

"Or why didn't you do what we agreed?" you didn't know if he wanted a verbal answer, but even if he had, what could you say to that? It was more than obvious why you had done it "If there is a plan, it is because that plan must be executed as I have said, if not, then what would it be?"

"I shouldn’t…"

"No, you shouldn't," he interrupted again, speaking louder than usual to look imposing. And boy he was doing it. “That was the stupidest thing you've ever done, and all for a damn maid? What were you thinking?

"I wanted to help her"

"Oh really? And how did she thank you? Yelling at the guards to come to get you! Did you think about that before acting? Do you ever consider the consequences?” his voice didn't drop in volume, but rather rose gradually with each word that came out of his mouth.

You were in a panic, somehow strangely having the strength to meet his angry eyes, for you didn't think he would start saying such things to you in front of everyone else, who had been silent since the exchange had begun. You tried to think of anything to defend yourself, but even if you found the right argument you knew you couldn't outsource it due to nerves.

Even with your devoted silence, Kaz did not seem satisfied and he continued speaking.

“You had to follow simple orders: wait for the signal and open the vault. Everyone stayed in their positions. Was it very difficult for you to do that?”

"Kaz, I don't think…" Jesper started to say, trying to help him out of the situation, but he fell silent as he watched the black-haired boy turn his head to look at him. It was true, you guys hadn't seen Kaz in that state more than a few times and even the gunslinger, who loved you immensely, thought it wiser to keep silent if he didn't want the opponent's anger to lash out at him.

"Look at Jesper," he said close to your face. If he hadn't been so averse to touching you, you were sure he would have held your face to keep your gaze on him, because by this point your eyes were cloudy and you were trying to focus on anything other than the conversation “He's hurt. You are hurt. Imagine what would have happened if we hadn't been able to get out in time or if Inej hadn't come to your rescue, do you think those men would have tempted their hearts before killing all of us? Of course not! There's no room for charity here because until that servant was in real danger, she wasn't your problem. You behaved stupidly and those actions affected all of us” Kaz fell silent and you thought that was it. You were with your arms crossed, perhaps as an unconscious act of seeking protection, not daring to look at him.

But he took a few seconds to examine you and then said something else:

It is your fault that we are now in this state; without a single penny in our pockets.

The words your fault, and without a penny were the cause of a tug across your chest. It was useless to hold back the tears that had already treacherously begun to slide down your cheeks and that you wished you had the strength to wipe off with the sleeve of the jacket you were wearing.

In all the time you had belonged to the crows he had never spoken to you like that. There had been disagreements, of course, and he'd even called you out for neglecting some tasks he'd given you, but those kinds of hurtful words were reserved for criminals from whom he extracted information or threatened. That's why you were so upset, because Kaz was terrifying when he put his mind to it and you'd just had the misfortune to experience it firsthand.

The rest of your friends were also perplexed by what had just happened, since most of them had found your outburst in the mansion quite justifiable, since it was an innocent life that you had tried to protect, a very present code always.

The other part that had managed to break you was knowing that the man's annoyance was actually due to the money you had caused him to lose rather than the fact that you or someone else had been in danger. Or at least that was what you had understood by the final sentence.

The silence was sepulchral, no one even dared to breathe harder than usual for fear that he would take them as the next victim, and only a small sob that escaped you broke the silence. You hoped that would soften Kaz’s expression a bit, but he didn't flinch.

A part of you thought, due to shock, to apologize to him, but you weren't even able to. You just stood in the middle of that room under his questioning gaze.

When your body finally wanted to react, you walked directly to the stairs to go up to your room, without even looking back, collapsing on the floor and crying as soon as you closed the door behind you. You didn't even think about taking a shower anymore and the burning pain in your ribs, which you hadn't mentioned to anyone about, intensified. You had to cover your mouth with your hand so that the crying wouldn’t reach the floor below and you felt that everything around you was spinning.

You stayed in that position for a few minutes, which felt like hours, until someone opened the door and stuck their head inside. It was Nina, who had surely gone of her own free will but also partly at the request of others. She could hear your erratic heartbeat and your lungs struggling to hold some air, so it didn't take her more than a second to kneel next to you to wrap her arms around you and start running her hand up and down trying to comfort you. She offered to heal you and you agreed, but through it all you thought that even though the blows on your body burned like hell, what was definitely causing you the most pain was the wounds you just received to your heart.

After that night you could say that the tension in The Slat could be cut with a knife. You thought that the others were also going to blame you for the failure of the heist, with justifiable reasons, but you were pleasantly surprised to find out that this wasn’t the case, since they all told you so explicitly as soon as they had a chance. Matthias, who was most of the time the most mature among you, told you that sometimes things went wrong and that at least he was glad that you were okay; with Nina there, the physical problems could be solved and the money would be recovered somehow. But, to your surprise, it was Kaz they weren't very happy with.

You never meant to start a mutiny against the boss, God knows you didn't, but as much as you tried to change their minds, they were distant and reluctant to talk to Brekker. And Kaz, in turn, didn't exchange a single word with you.

Jesper and Nina were the ones who showed it the most, the first one kept looking down at your friend as if he could make him combust spontaneously with his eyes while the woman simply didn't say anything, as if he were invisible. The rest of the group hadn't cut off the communication suddenly, but it was evident that they weren't entirely happy with the black-haired man's behavior.

Although there were few occasions when the seven of you, or the majority, coincided in the same space, since you were always doing other things around The Barrel or the club.

You weren't the proud type, yet you refused to offer an apology for something that wasn't wrongdoing and finally stopped feeling guilty for applying this silent treatment to thinking that Kaz deserved it. Just a little. Also, if he didn't bother to talk to you, everything would be easier for you, because, although you still did some general tasks, most of the time you spent locked in your room, doing anything to entertain yourself.

If you looked at it from the outside, unaware that you guys were a bunch of criminals living in the same horrible building, that looked like a real teenage fight. But you couldn't blame yourself too much, because you were teenagers.

Sometimes, when he didn't notice, you watched him from afar. You analyzed his expression, his posture, his eyes, anything that would help you figure out if he really cared about your absence or the silence of others. You tried to believe that he was in a bad mood (more than usual) because he wanted you to not be angry anymore, but after a long time you always came to the same conclusion; he was inscrutable, shielded in that armor that you highly doubted could shatter, much less by you. Sometimes you wished you could know what Kaz was thinking so you could figure out if he had noble motives for acting the way he did or if he was just a heartless jerk. And, although your desire to read minds wasn’t fulfilled, you began to bet more on the latter the day a new job was presented. It was, now, a kind of revenge against the men of the opposing gang (who had stolen your business payment in the first place), however, when the meeting took place you noticed that he was skipping a detail. 

"And what will Y/N do?" Jesper had asked, going ahead of you, after listening carefully to the plan and realizing that you weren't contemplated anywhere. You expected Kaz to say you were going to stick with him, even if it was so he could keep an eye on you and avoid another outburst, but when he shook his head you were completely offended.

"She's not coming"

It was one thing to have received a scolding for the mistake made and quite another to be removed from the team just like that. And that Kaz had responded as if you weren't there made you feel completely humiliated and, consequently, angry.

"Great, so now it turns out that I'm grounded," you said sarcastically. It was the first time in weeks that you had spoken directly to Kaz and he just looked at you sideways for a few seconds, as if examining you, which made your blood boil even more "Are you really going to leave me out?" you continued, now with more seriousness than before. You wished he dared to face you with an answer, and you were surprised at how quickly this happened.

"It’s not personal. This time it’s better that you stay” was all the explanation he offered you. The way he said it made it clear to you that it wasn't up for discussion and you felt powerless, but before any of your friends could say anything in your defense, you decided to take it the best way.

If Kaz didn't want you around, you weren't going to make him. If you didn't receive even a measly part of the money from now on, you didn't care. If it was true that you had screwed up, you weren't sorry for anything and you weren't going to give in so easily, despite the love and respect you felt for him.

“Good luck then,” was all you said, offering the best fake smile you could have and purposely patting Kaz on the shoulder. He watched you walk away with eyes wide open in surprise, even though you didn't even notice it when you got lost in the hallway, and it was hard for him to keep his composure as he turned around again to clear up any doubts regarding how the crime would be carried out; although he tried to hide it, almost most of the group could tell.

What the hell did Kaz have against you lately? The others had made mistakes countless times and never suffered consequences as harsh as yours, because probably the hardest part had been dealing with the boss's anger and being forced to find a solution for what they had screwed up. You probably would have offered to get the money back yourself if he had let you end the problem, but you couldn't even do that because you knew it would only fan the fires of anger.

So when you left there everyone thought that things had already gone on too long and someone had to point it out to Kaz.

"Is everything clear?" he asked, looking at the crows and receiving a general nod.

We would have to wait until night to work, so once there was nothing more to say, each one dispersed in opposite directions.

“Inej,” Kaz said, not even looking back. He knew she was there, he always knew, as if there was a connection between the two of them "Everything okay?"

“Everyone is where they should be. The carriage is on its way and the streets are free”

"Good"

“But there is something else we need to talk about”

Kaz was afraid it was something to do with you, and he closed his eyes for a moment at the possibility. They were on a roof, he too close to the shore to be able to supervise that the robbery was carried out effectively, and she took a few steps until she reached his side. The two kept looking down for a few seconds, preparing internally for what was coming; talking about feelings was never one of their strengths.

"What would that be about?”

"About who" she corrected him "This discussion with Y/N has already escalated to exacerbated levels, you didn't have to forbid her to come"

"And what did you want me to do?" he muttered, more upset than he would have liked, and he had to take a deep breath before speaking again, “She's… was impulsive and… she doesn't measure the danger she's putting herself in. She is like a child, without conscience or limits”

“We all know that, but you called her stupid. That's very different."

“I don't want her to end up killing herself,” he said, and Inej caught a hint of sincere concern tinging her friend's voice. Kaz hated seeing himself like this, but there was something about her that made him trust her with that part of him. “Y/N acts with her heart, that's the problem. And I worry that she doesn't know how to control it. I don't want anyone to hurt her and she just doesn't cooperate” he sounded desperate, helpless, and then Inej realized how many things were being ignored by the team about the boss's decisions, apparently cruel, but quite considered in the background. It was like… acting badly for the right reasons. Or something like that.

“Well, if you really do this to safeguard her welfare, you should tell her. Because I don't think you're giving him the right message with your actions” Inej told him. Then she decided that she wasn't going to pry into the matter anymore from that point on, wishing that the conversation had been enough to make the black-haired man see reason.

He thought about it for a second and wished he could ask her more, but then he noticed that, as always, she had already vanished into the night.

Kaz tried very hard to focus on the robbery and stop thinking about you or what it would be wise to say to you, but he was having some trouble. In the next hour, to everyone's surprise in general, things went perfectly; there was no guard, just a driver who didn't resist, and they were coming back with some juicy loot. Almost too easy to be true.

Kaz didn't give much thought to the nature of the success they'd just had and they all just set off, their group spirits much better now that things were looking up.

It would be foolish to deny that Kaz had been thinking about how quickly you would have managed to carry out the robbery and also had missed the joking duo that you formed with Jesper, who now had barely looked at the blue-eyed man.

On the way he got a bit withdrawn and was mentally torturing himself about what was the right thing to do when he got home. After thinking it through, he concluded that he should take Inej’s advice and talk to you to fix things. Brekker wasn't used to apologizing, but at least he could explain things to you the way he had with the girl, so that you would understand better and hopefully forgive him for the idiotic behavior he had been displaying for the past few weeks. Although he was still upset, it was worth putting that aside to try.

After going to the club to save the cash they went back to The Slat and when he stood in front of your door he never thought to feel more nervous in life, while he started to ask himself if that was a good idea. Maybe he should just let time wash away your bad face and carry on as before... but he was also aware that that wouldn't happen.

He hesitated for a long time about whether to knock on your door or not, but after a few minutes he finally did and was frustrated when no one answered, despite a strip of light coming through the door grate.

"Y/N, I know you’re there" he tried, but there was no response. Kaz ran a gloved hand through his hair and exhaled in frustration. "Fine, don't talk to me if you want, but that's not going to stop me from coming to tell you what I came to say," he muttered determinedly. Even trying to communicate assertively, he couldn't help but sound rude. “I didn't mean to yell at you like that when we got back from the heist, I just didn't know what else to do. And today I asked you to stay here because it could be dangerous and I'm trying to take care of you because apparently you don't give a damn about your own life, not because I hate you or because I'm upset with you. It's just that…” he was having a hard time talking, so he had to take a deep breath to collect himself a little “I worry about you. And I want you to be okay. Safe"

Kaz was silent, waiting for you to say something, but again there was nothing. He felt so foolish and embarrassed that he even thought his eyes were going to glaze over with helplessness. He was trying his best to go there, but you didn't seem to care, and honestly, he didn't blame you.

His gaze lowered to the floor, the pressing sensation of rejection flooding his chest, and only then did he notice the glow emanating from a section of the floor. With difficulty he knelt to take the substance with his fingers and his glove was stained with a fine powder that gave off an iridescent glow, which until that moment he had not realized he was scattered over various sections of the corridor. And next to that dust, there was a bloodstain.

Kaz didn't even wait for a second to lunge at your bedroom door and yank it open, which he hadn't done before out of respect for your privacy, only to realize that everything in there was turned upside down. There were remains of a smashed nightstand, books scattered on the floor, the bed in disarray, and sporadic stains of blood that he prayed weren't yours. The window was wide open and the white curtain billowed violently in the night air.

Someone had broken into your room and it wasn't hard to put the pieces together to find out what they had broken into. Someone had kidnapped you.

His eyes traveled all over the place looking for something that would give him clues and he decided to start rummaging through the books hoping to find a note, the amount for your ransom, whatever. When he read ‘We're even, Brekker’ written on yellowed paper and signed with the seal of a snake, he felt that his balance was missing.

That's why the robbery of the carriage had been so easy, because they had wanted it that way. Their plan was always to enter The Slat. You were there, alone, and they kidnapped you because Kaz had allowed it. Because in his eagerness to protect you, he had delivered you directly to the enemy.

It was all his fault.

"Jesper!" he screamed, on first impulse. He didn't know if it was difficult for him to get up from the floor due to dizziness or because of the limp “Inej! Wylan! Whoever!" he continued, wanting to get the attention of anyone who could help him. He was in a panic and he was also furious. He would be capable of torturing the men who had kidnapped you in the most horrible ways ever seen, as soon as he found out who they were.

All the people present in the building followed the sound of the boss's wailing and when they observed the state of your room a collective sigh of surprise filled the silence.

"Where is Y/N?"

“I don't know,” Kaz hissed, sounding desperate. That didn't even matter to him anymore "They took her, they set us up"

“We have to find her,” Matthias muttered, and he wanted to hit him for saying something so obvious. But he had to calm down, for everyone's sake.

"There's blood and this in the hallway," said the black-haired man, showing everyone the dust that still glittered on his glove.

"It's a trail," Wylan exclaimed, his features lighting up like when he had an idea. He stepped forward to analyze the sample and then nodded. “I gave this to her, it's a bioluminescent powder we were experimenting with. In theory, when…" he walked around the room as if looking for something until he found a box of matches that you had lying around "it comes into contact with the fire, it emits a blue flame" he explained, going into the corridor and demonstrating the information practically.

There was hope, if they hadn't taken you too far your friends might track you down and rescue you. You had been scared enough to leave a clue because you knew they would look for you.

In that moment Kaz felt so guilty that he had ever even suggested that he doubted your abilities.

“You have to follow it. We have to find where they took her right now” he ordered and, of course, no one argued. Everyone went ahead to get the necessary things to look for you and Kaz leaned against the wall for a moment, breathing slowly in an attempt to contain one of those panic attacks he sometimes felt, not imagining that this would only be the beginning of an awful night. 

And the worst wasn’t over yet.

The crows moved faster and more efficiently than ever before, and within minutes Wylan had figured out how to follow the trail. Sometimes there were long lines through the streets that were lit with a single match, but other times they had to look for them more carefully and that consumed time that Kaz considered vital. Although he wasn't saying anything the others could tell that he was quite upset by the situation, so they did their best. Also, you were part of the group, so they too were extremely worried.

By the time they reached Fifth Harbor, Kaz was already burning all the way down his leg, but that didn't matter to him. They were all out of breath, but that didn't matter. And the trail ended right at the pier, but that didn't matter because they saw in the distance a boat with two robust men, one of them holding a lamp and the other struggling with a girl tied by her hands and legs who was screaming in despair.

It was you and you were yelling Kaz's name.

They rushed to find a boat tied to the dock big enough for the six of them and when, luckily, they found it they jumped on it. Matthias and Jesper were in charge of rowing and the movement did not go unnoticed by the men who had you captured, nor by you.

A feeling of relief swept through you as you realized that the silhouettes approaching you were your friends and you felt that all was not lost. Kaz thought that they had arrived just in time and that calmed him down for a second, but he didn't count on the fact that the man would lift you off the ground and, with a sharp gesture that surprised everyone, he would throw you straight into the sea.

Your cry was drowned out by the roar of the water and the black-haired man's breath caught, while everything around him was spinning again. Until then he realized the position he was in: in the middle of the immensity of the sea, in danger of drowning. It was then that the memories of his brother's body came back to him like needles sticking in and he felt like he might vomit.

Kaz didn't know how to swim and even if he had known how to at some point in his life it was now impossible due to his limping leg. But he wasn't going to let you die. He can’t.

In the midst of the attack, he was dimly aware of what was happening. You were now within safe distance of the other boat which allowed Inej to throw a knife at one of the men and Jesper took it upon himself to put a bullet into the other. In hindsight, Kaz would have wished they had stayed alive so he could take it upon himself to give them a slow and painful death. There was no point in letting the men who had kidnapped you die so mercifully.

The water was dark and they couldn't see anything, but still Matthias was the one who ventured below the surface to find your body, hoping that when he did it wouldn't be too late.

Nina kept her hands up to monitor the beating of both your hearts and the rest stood without saying anything, looking expectantly out at the water that rolled in small waves. Only Kaz's erratic breathing broke the silence of the environment.

A few seconds passed, and when there was no sign of him or you, concern gripped the group. Now there wasn’t only the fear that you wouldn't get out of the water, but also that Matthias wouldn't and thus lose two members of the group. Nina winced when she heard one of the heartbeats slowed down considerably, though she didn't comment on it to the others.

When he finally surfaced everyone was relieved to see that he wasn't alone, even if your body was just an unconscious bundle that he was pulling with difficulty.

They still put you in the canoe and you had your limbs tied with rope, so Inej was in charge of cutting them with a knife, while the others crowded around you to try to see how you were.

“She's not breathing,” Matthias gasped. Nina knelt to try to expel the water from your lungs, but for some reason your body was resisting. If she didn't get the water out of your lungs, the lack of oxygen would permanently affect your brain.

"This isn't working," she snorted after several hand movements.

It was only then that Kaz dared to look at you. You were pale, wet, and a trickle of blood was coming from your forehead and you had some bruises. He never thought that he would feel the same pain that he seized when he traveled to the coast with the lifeless body of his brother.

Wake up, he wanted to tell you, but his voice wouldn't come out. You have to wake up.

Nina kept trying and until he finally saw you jump up to vomit up the salt water, he too felt like he could breathe again.

When you finally finished inhaling the air around you everyone bombarded you with questions to check your well-being and you just nodded to them all, a little dazed and scared. Nina took it upon herself to help with the cut and bruises, while the men took up the oars again to reach the dock.

Kaz was the last to get off the boat and he was also the last to enter The Slat, as if he needed to check that the rest of you had done it, since he didn't want to leave anyone behind again. Never.

“Let me accompany you,” he said. It was the first thing he had said to you after the incident and you were so exhausted that you didn't offer any resistance. When you walked up the stairs and into your room, you thought Kaz would leave without another word, but instead he stood in front of the door.

You looked at him with a neutral expression, trying to understand what he was trying to do.

"You were very intelligent" he began to say "When you left the trail"

"Thank you," you said quietly. Your throat was a bit sore from the water you had swallowed.

"How it happened?" he asked. The trip had made you recover a bit and you were calmer than before, so you didn't mind telling him things.

“They were supposed to be looking for your office, but they saw my light on and thought it would be a better idea to go after the helpless damsel. They got in through the window and… voila,” you said bitterly, gesturing with one hand at the mess around you. “They held me here and tied me to a chair, but the knots were so painful I got free in a few minutes. They interrogated me to ask about things of value or obtain some information, but I didn't say anything. My fighting could irritate them, but I think I really pissed them off when I smashed a vase over the head of one and plunged a knife into the other's leg. Maybe that's why they decided to throw me into the sea”

Kaz was a bit dismayed at how calmly you said things and he wondered if you really didn't care or were just pretending. Although he wanted to say the same things to you that he had said to your empty room a few hours ago, the truth was that remembering it made him feel ashamed. It had been a sincere apology, but he didn't think he could say it twice.

"I'm sorry I put you in danger," he said, stepping forward for more privacy. He watched your reaction to what he said and what he did, hoping that if you were still upset you would show it. But the near-death experience seemed to soften both of you.

"Why apologize? you didn't send those guys. It was just some… being in the wrong place at the wrong time. It could have happened to anyone."

“I know, but maybe if I hadn't asked you to stay here, they wouldn't have hurt you” he admitted and although you wanted to recriminate him for that, you decided to remain silent, feeling curious as to how far he could go with that talk "And if you don't… if you hadn't been smart right now you wouldn't be here”

"But I am" you answered with determination "And that's what hurts me, Kaz, that you doubt me" you expressed. You weren't going to forget so easily what had made you walk away in the first place and you thought it was the right time for him to know what you thought about it “I made a mistake, it's true and I take responsibility for that. But you didn't have to treat me like this."

"I know that too," he hastened to say, "I don't doubt you, I never have."

“It is not noticeable. Today you pushed me aside and you told us that trust is always the most important thing. And although I was stupid, I consider that this behavior is not worthy of making you stop trusting me just like that. You know I didn't do it to screw you over, I just wanted to save her."

“It's not about that woman, I don't care about her. You know that I too would have prevented her from getting hurt if the situation arose."

“Then what is it about? Is it only the mistake of the century if I make it?”

“This is about you, Y/N” Kaz said, pointing at you with his open palm and starting to sound desperate “I got so mad because you were the one who ended up in the hands of the enemy. I hate that you act like that because I care about you too much to allow myself to lose you”

You didn't expect that and he didn't expect to say it either. It was even more embarrassing than what he had refused to tell you in the first place.

He said that he didn't want to lose you and you thought about the meaning of that expression: did he not want to lose what you brought to the team or did he not want to lose your person?

"These weeks I thought you only hated me because I made you lose money"

"Oh, I do hate you a little for that," he said, taking a surprise "Not for the money itself, but for what that money implied" there was no point in keeping secrets, if Kaz had already started to sink then he preferred to do it completely and with dignity “The club is going through some difficulties, Y/N. I sold those things so I could keep it going. Because while our criminal jobs give us some kruge, you know that the main source of income for that group is the Crow Club. Also…” he felt his breath shake and had to take a moment to calm down “I've been thinking about something these past few months. A long time ago you said that you had always wanted to go to university, do you remember?” he asked you and you nodded your head “Jesper had the opportunity, but he is a lost cause, because he prefers this kind of life to having an office job or a quiet home and I respect that. But not you, you ended up here because you had no other options” Kaz was silent, hoping that if you had something to say you would say it now, but then he continued, “And I thought if I gave you some money you would have that opportunity. That way I could get you away from all these Dregs and you'd live the way you wanted. That's why that robbery was important”

You were totally stunned.

You never expected Kaz to have that opinion of you or even care about you to the degree that he had just confessed to you. He had listened to you, had seen beyond the apparent happiness of living in The Barrel to find your true dreams, so forgotten within yourself that you no longer thought you could reveal them to anyone else.

You mistakenly believed that the only thing that mattered to Kaz Brekker was dying suffocated by piles of money, but you had just realized that the true engine of life of the black-haired man was the love he had for that peculiar family that you made up.

“You… you know that's not necessary, right? You don’t have to do it"

"But I wanted"

The gap was less since Kaz had walked towards you and you decided, venturing a bit, to take another step towards him.

"Why didn't you tell us that the club has financial problems?" you asked softly, because you thought there could be no other way to talk to him in a situation like this.

"Because it wasn't important"

"Yes, it is, Kaz" you walked in his direction again. At that distance, if you raised your hand a little, he could reach to take hers "That's the point, you decide to swallow all the problems without talking to anyone and then we have no idea what ails you or why this or that is so important. Jesus, if you had told me that money was so vital, I would have put my life into opening that vault as quickly as possible” it was at that moment that you really regretted what you had done and thought that, if possible, you would have returned in time to listen to him and not just your instincts.

"It does not matter anymore. I can't spend my life telling you all the bad things that happen around here."

“You should do it, Kaz. We are a group and we can't just enjoy the rewards without knowing the sacrifice, stop burdening yourself with that alone” he warned seriously “You take care of all of us, but then who takes care of you?”

His reaction was the same as you had a moment ago: stupefaction. Kaz didn't know at what point in his life he had to become that, but he thought that perhaps Jordie's death was decisive for him to have to fulfill the role of the person he had just lost. To be for others what no one had been for him, so they would not suffer what he had suffered. It was quite an altruistic act if he thought better of it.

But after so many years it was exhausting and he wished he could just fall into someone else's arms to rest, figuratively speaking. And there you were right in front of him, probably the person he loved the most, with an expression that reflected a willingness to listen to what he had to say.

So Kaz thought that, maybe for once, it was okay for him to be vulnerable.

“I had an older brother” he murmured, after a long while and you were a bit confused by the sudden change of subject, but you nodded your head so he knew you were listening “He died during the plague epidemic. And miss him so much"

You knew little, if anything, of the personal life of the man in front of you, so you didn't know how to react to the disclosure of that fact. You imagined a little Kaz, scared and sad because his brother was gone. You didn't think for a second about the horrible things he had to go through and that he, with some luck, would dare to tell you later.

But even with this paltry piece of information you couldn't help but feel enormous compassion. He was human, like everyone else, and he was afraid that death would come to take another person important to him. Now you understood better.

"What was his name?" you asked in a whisper, as gently as possible. Kaz was silent for a moment, reflecting no sentiment, then swallowed.

"Jordie"

You weren't going to ask him any more questions after that, you just looked into his eyes and you knew that this was his way of telling you that he trusted you to keep that shred of his past.

"Well, I think Jordie would be happy to know that now there are six of us who love you as he did" was what you replied. You didn't know if it was the answer he expected, but at least it was the one that had come from your heart. When he looked at you, you swore that his eyes were teary, although later you convinced yourself that it had only been an effect of the light.

"I hope we're fine now" he murmured, regaining his composure, referring to the problems that had existed between you after that discussion.

"Calm down, everything is fine. I know you can't live without me."

"Actually, I've had enough of Jesper seeing me with those murder-eyes."

"Then you noticed," you joked. You were completely exhausted and at that moment you were even more conscious, as if you were going to pass out the next second “Everything is fine” you repeated “I just hope this doesn't happen again. I… will try to be less impulsive. And you have to tell me if something's wrong and we'll figure it out, okay?"

Kaz hummed back and you put on a tight-lipped smile. Then you looked around you to analyze the chaos that had been left by the fight with those men, feeling exhausted just thinking that you would have to pick up the pieces of wood, the books, or clean the stains, and he realized what you were thinking by the look on your face.

“I'll send someone to clean all this up tomorrow, I promise. For now, you just… lie down”

"For the first time, I'm not going to argue with you," you laughed bitterly. Then a yawn invaded you and you felt your eyelids tremendously heavy, which he perceived. Kaz didn't want to leave there, even if you were on the verge of exhaustion, however, he didn't know what excuse to use to stay “Good night, Kaz. You should rest too"

"Yeah, um... I'll do it"

“Good”

There was silence for a few seconds. 

"Have you really forgiven me?" he asked, looking to make sure you weren't upset anymore. You smiled and, amid your delirium from exhaustion, you stood on your toes to kiss him on the cheek. He paled and held his breath, but you didn't notice.

“As much as you have forgiven me for screwing up the mission. Now go and sleep"

Perhaps it was the shock of receiving something like this from you that caused Kaz to practically run out of your room, without even saying goodbye, staying in the hallway for a moment to process things. The speed of the contact hadn't given him time to panic, but that didn't stop him from feeling the pumping of his heart hammering like crazy under his chest and hot cheeks under the memory of your lips on them.

When he locked himself in his room he tried to calm down, when he was taking off his clothes to put on his pajamas he tried again, washing his hands and face, going through paperwork before going to sleep, lying down on the bed, closing the eyes... but nothing worked.

And eventually he fell asleep with the ghost of your kiss haunting him through dreams.

[paingoes]

Rubies - Orientation

(Content: living weapon whumpee, recovery, past trauma, past abuse, implied child abuse, implied physical abuse, crying, comfort)

“I want to stay here.”

“You could retire. Haven’t you done enough?”

Delta flinched at that last part. A quick glance up told him Apollo hadn’t meant it that way, but it had still stung in the moment. Not that he could object to it, in either context.

“But you wouldn’t be there,” Delta said softly. “Apollo, I don’t know anyone else. Where am I supposed to go?”

“You’d meet new people. It’s not an island.”

“I want to stay with you.” He placed one hand delicately over Apollo’s wrist and could tell he’d surprised him with the contact. For a second, he thought he’d done something terrible. He’d gotten comfortable enough holding onto Kitty, reaching out for her, but that was her. He shouldn’t have - he flinched -

Apollo sighed gently, rubbing the pad of his thumb in circles on the back of his hand. He had to know what it meant for him, the enormity of what he was suggesting. For Delta to leave. To be alone again.

“It’s your choice,” Apollo relented. “Nobody’s going to force you. Levon’s hoping you’ll stay too. I can tell.”

Delta felt warmer just as soon as he said it.

~

“Yessssssssssss,” Kitty hissed excitedly, practically skipping through the doorway of her room. Theirroom, as she was so eager to point out. “Roomiesssssss!!!!!”

“Just don’t ask her what happened to the last one,” Levon said, holding Delta’s only bag on his hip. It was a light bag. He didn’t need to bring it for him. But they both still insisted that Delta was fragile, that he didn’t need to carry anything.

“She was in love with me.” Kitty said. “It became too much for her.”

“Not how I remember it,” Levon said, placing the bag down on the ground. Delta thanked him quietly, bowing his head, still unsure what to do with himself when the two of them were talking. He tried to go unnoticed.

“You want top bunk?” Kitty asked, foiling his efforts. Her olive green eyes glowed excitedly at the prospect. 

Top bunk. The only memories it called up were of yellowed pages in a brightly lit facility. Children’s books with lives so foreign it might as well have been a different universe. Something soft and playful and totally unavailable to any of them. Summer camp.

“It’s your choice,” Delta murmured, unwilling to commit to any preference, much too scared to overstep. “It’s your room.”

“Our room!” She insisted. Her tail swiped the counter excitedly, knocking most of her things onto the ground.

~

“You can’t tell anyone,” she would say later, down in the caverns, and not to him.

Iza’s crew stared blankly back at her, making Kitty wish that she was here to do it herself.

“I mean it,” she said. “It’s top, top secret. No one can know. And it’s only the three of you, so we’ll know if it gets out.”

Willow was pale and fearful, eyes wide like a doll that had just come to life. “He’s really staying, then?”

“He’s my roommate,” Kitty answered, smiling slyly.

“What’s he going to tell people?” Cass asked. “I mean, he has an accent. Are you going to invent a whole new backstory for him? What’s the plan?”

“Just don’t talk about the psychic thing. If anyone asks, you never met him. OK?” She asked, wondering if she needed to throw in a threat for efficacy.

“Yeah. OK. Whatever.” Cass agreed. “Still think it’s weird that you’re just, like, keeping him around as a pet? Shouldn’t he be in rehab or something?”

“Kitty just wants someone to clean her NEET cave,” Rene said.

Her eyes flickered up. She pushed herself up off the stack of boxes and stalked slowly and deliberately towards him. He tensed — and she only stopped when her face hovered a few inches from his own.

“Take it back,” she said.

“Fucking hell, Kat, I was joking,” he responded, seeming to shrink away, too proud to formally retreat.

“Take it back,” she repeated slower.

“Okay, fine. I take it back. Damn.”

She smiled again, sliding back to her place atop the boxes.

“Not gonna tell, right?” she asked, both ears pressed back in challenge.

~

Delta did end up cleaning, though. He wanted to be useful. He’d gotten in the habit. And the room did need it, truthfully. He hated to touch her stuff without permission. Almost every surface of the room was covered in her trinkets — figurines, dead animals in amber, microcontrollers. He moved them carefully just to clean off the shelves they rested on top of, then immediately replaced them.

He didn’t know if he meant to punish himself doing it, but she had fussed over him when she found him. Secretly, he thought she must have been relieved. It’d been a mess before — and after months without use, it’d only gotten worse. He turned the air filter on for her, obliging her when she told him to shower, to rest.

The top bunk was his, but more often than not he spent the day down on her level. He leaned back against the plaster wall, legs folding underneath him on the soft mattress in a way that still felt deeply unnatural, especially with her next to him. She propped her tablet up on the bed to show him all she was working on. She had been working all throughout the months she was told to do the opposite — and she thought it was important that he know. She’d poached him for IT. He was fine with that. He was so scared he might be useless to them without his powers, scared that without them all he’d be good for was cleaning, drudge jobs, set dressing. He could’ve been a servant if he was trained. But he could’ve been anything if he was trained.

As they came to find out, he knew the basics of most things. He knew a bit of everything, especially about what he was forbidden to know. They blew through the basic courses, but he still wanted firm footing before he had to start. Before he met anyone else.

“You can still rest,” she said, seeing the yawn he failed to suppress, “If we’re going too fast. You don’t have to start right away.”

“I don’t want to freeload,” he said, a bit self-consciously.

“You’ve done enough,” she said, “Galatea would pay your rent for the rest of your life if you asked for it.”

“I wouldn’t ask for that.”

“Yeah, you wouldn’t ask for anything, would you?” She teased. He blushed at that. He wouldn’t.

~

It got harder at night. He didn’t know why. He’d spent enough time in that endless, starry void to have adjusted to it. He thought of the port windows just to help him fall asleep.

But it was at night that the fear crept into him — and some deep dread, its mouth yawning, the size of the planet. He paced the halls fitfully at night, still amazed that he was allowed to walk them, amazed they would let him go unsupervised. Theirs was a cavernous base — and he knew the locks for the outer doors. He could walk out whenever he wanted. There was nowhere for him to go, but that nowhere was free to him. 

He opened the door to stare out into the blackness, the point where the gas lights could not reach, the darkness that started right where the trees began. He did not know what he was looking for. A dread. An emptiness.

He clambered up the ladder to the top bunk. He had the same bedding each room started with, then another weighted blanket, a gift. He crawled beneath it, grateful for the warmth, almost able to melt into it. Kitty was still out. He turned all the lights off and he left the window open. When he slept, he pretended he was in a cavern, deep beneath the ocean.

~

His face was wet when he woke up and the room was still dark. He tried to blink himself awake, but his thoughts remained foggy and unalert, his vision slightly blurred. Green eyes hovered close to him, right beyond the wooden cage of the bed.

“Delta?” she said softly. It was so painful. He had never heard anyone handle his name so carefully. He did not move, peeking up at her dark form through the nest of blankets.

“…You were crying,” she whispered.

He winced in shame, almost burying himself further into the sheets. He couldn’t. Weakly, he extended one wrist to her in offering. He just hoped she would get it over with. That he wouldn’t be in so much pain he couldn’t sleep after.

She took his hand gingerly, interlacing her fingers in between his.

“Can I…” She trailed off. He nodded dimly, not caring what it was. She could do whatever she wanted and he never would have stopped her.

She crawled over him, sliding herself in between him and the wall, then beneath the blanket. His eyes widened slightly as she slipped one arm over him, pulling him in closer to her. It didn’t hurt. She hadn’t hurt him for crying. Right. She never did.

“Okay?” she asked softly.

“Mmhm.” He nodded, his mouth still not forming words.

She pressed her forehead in between his shoulder blades, purring a soft rumble that still filled the entire room.

He wiped at his eyes again as the crying started back up. He tried to be quiet, but she didn’t seem to mind.

~

“Do you ever want to talk about it?” she asked over breakfast. 

“…I did talk about it,” he said. “There was a trial. I don’t know if you remember.”

She shrugged, popping the last of the strawberry stem into her mouth.

“Silas is a prick,” she said. “That’s not what I meant.”

He didn’t respond to that, idly twirling the flower petals in between his fingers, still not touching his food.

“Did they hurt you for crying?” she asked when he did not offer it up.

“I never cried much in the first place.”

He was always so quick to defend them still. He knew better than to do it in court, but in private, it was always his first reaction.

“Because you weren’t allowed?” She looked up just to catch him shrugging again. 

After a while, he explained: “I don’t mind that they did. I thought it was childish. I never…had a problem with it until now.”

He wiped his eyes in an absent reflex, though they were dry now. Across the table, Kitty seemed skeptical.

“Is that what they told you? That it was childish?”

“Yeah. It is.”

Trying not to offend her, though he hadn’t seen her cry yet, he added: “It is if it’s me.”

“How old were you when they said that?” She asked plainly.

He didn’t answer. Internally, he was a bit annoyed by the gotcha in her voice. He guessed it showed in his expression, because she stopped pressing at it. Though she showed no offense, he felt guilty in the intervening silence.

“I don’t know how to talk about it,” he admitted. “I’m sorry. No one’s ever asked. I don’t have any practice.”

“You haven’t eaten,” she noticed. 

Reluctantly, a bit chastened, he began to peel at the fruit’s flesh. The pulp tinted his nails red.

“I’m trying,” he said. 

“I know,” she said back. “I’m patient, you know. I waited months to find you.”

He thought back to them. The months spent on the server, his only window to a kinder world. He thought of her on the other side of it. The image of her before had always been dreamlike and immaterial. He had never imagined her in the flesh. He’d have never thought to one day be sitting across the breakfast table from her, with bright fruit against the china and an endless wilderness at her back.

“God fucking damn it,” he said as he felt his eyes begin to water again. She only laughed at his reaction. It wasn’t unkind.

~~~

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