#like what plants are edible and aren't

[polliewoggers]

so there’s this wonderful fan content creator in the welcome home community by the name of @nonomives​​ who posted this picrew with her lovely oc, and i have been playing with it for awhile to figure out a design for my own WELCOME HOME OC!

her name is POLLIE WOGGERS.

( i’ll be making a separate post with more information about her that will become my pinned post uwu )

[rafeandonlyrafe]

the compound part one

words: 2k

warnings: alien apocalypse au!, violence, reader gets injured, hunger/starvation, mentions of death

part one / part two

you take a deep breath as your eyes focus on the pile of supplies. you know it's bait. you know it's purposely set up near the border of the compound to entice thieves, that someone elses eyes are likely on it right now.

but you have no choice. your stomach growls. you can see canned food. it's been so long since you had something from before. you've resorted to killing wild animals and gathering as much edible berries and plants as you can find, but even those are hard to come by. everything is hard to come by.

you look at the fence separating you. it's chain link, easy enough to climb. there's barbed wire placed on the top, fashioned together with zip ties, but plenty of space for you to fit between.

your eyes adjust as darkness falls, glad your hiding spot is shielding you from most of the wind. now that winter is rolling through the north carolina woods, you need to come up with a new plan. whether it's moving south or finding others to survive with that you trust enough to not kill you for using their resources or leaving you behind as alien bait.

a cloud passes over the moon, sending the world into even further darkness. you don't allow yourself time to second guess, shooting forward as fast as your legs can carry you, praying that your speed makes up for the sound as you scurry over the fence.

you groan when in your haste you cut your leg on the barbed wire, but you have no time to stop and see if the gash is deep.

you make it to the stack of supplies seemingly without notice, but the second your hands touch the box of canned food, a floodlight illuminates the yard of the compound.

“shit.” you allow yourself to mutter a curse word, picking up the small box and tucking it under your arm as you head towards the fence, knowing the other side means safety. 

“stop!” someone shouts from behind as you begin to climb, moving slower now that you have less mobility of one arm.

you let out a scream when someone grabs your leg, you try to kick them away, but then your other foot is grabbed, being pulled down by compound men. you struggle the best you can, even dropping your precious cans of much needed food in hope it hits one of them, but your hands can only hang on for so long before you succumb to their pulling, falling backwards with a thump, head hitting the ground and darkness enveloping you.

--

your head pounds as you try to blink your eyes open before realizing that they're covered by a blindfold. 

what a shitty way to go out, you think to yourself. blindfolded and gagged by compound men. at the end of the world, you don't meet your end in an aliens bite but rather from other humans.

it makes you question if along with the apocalypse people lost their humanity, or if they're just finally able to show their true colors without the expectations of society.

you slowly become more aware of your body. your hands are restricted behind your back to some kind of chair. your fingers reach out to touch the rope and then the chair, sighing when it's cold and smooth. wood you could possibly break, but you have no chance with metal.

your feet aren't restricted. you try to feel around for anything, but the floor around you seems clear.

you consider tipping your chair over, but you have a feeling that would only result in more pain for you.

“you awake?” the question is asked. it's a male voice, of course. it's widely known the compound is almost completely male. only a few rare women have ever been seen behind the fence. you're not sure what their recruitment process is, but you've heard whispers that they bring impressive people in. people that try to steal from them and get caught or defend their stash when the compound men leave on their raids.

you thrash in your seat since you're not able to respond. no use delaying the inevitable. if they're going to kill you, you don't want to wait around for it to happen.

“good.” the voice says, and then all of a sudden the blindfold is tugged off your eyes. it takes you a second to adjust before you can properly look around the room, realizing you're up on a stage, auditorium seats in front of you with a few men in them, all heavily armed.

you realize quickly that the military base the compound men took over must have had some sort of stage for speeches, and that you're now center spotlight.

“she did pretty good.” one of the men in the auditorium hums from the seats as the one who took of your blindfold exits down the stairs to join them. “got to the fence. most people don't even get that far.”

you try to tune out their words, eyes sweeping from some sort of escape, or help. you've learned not to rely on human help after the aliens came, but you might not have any choice.

“yeah, but she got caught.” one man huffs out.

“shit, billy, shut up. we need more women around here.” a new man says, his eyes feeling predatory as he looks over your body, making you press your thighs tightly together. you manage to look to the side to realize there's an armed man on either side of the stage, tucked slightly into the wings, but their dark eyes on you.

“we shouldn't even be arguing.” the man who untied your blindfold says. “wait for him.”

him. the infamous leader of the compound. you've never seen him or even heard his name, but he has a reputation from the bit of gossip you've managed to pick up. cruel. not bloodthirsty or barbaric like some of the men under him, but unflinching in his standards. refusing to give out any sort of help or aid even if a mother is on her knees begging at the fence.

you've heard from some that he doesn't care, you've heard from others that it's because his men come first.

you also know every time the compound men leave on a raid, they're looking for more than just food. someone. someone that the leader lost. presumed dead, just like most of the people after the aliens came, but that doesn't stop him from looking.

your heart breaks for him despite his cruelty. you wonder if it's a son. a daughter. a sister, mother or wife.

you refuse to let your mind turn to the ones you lost. you weren't close with your parents when it happened, but your friends… your boyfriend. you shake your head, willing the thoughts to leave. no use getting emotional right at the end.

you hear footsteps, the men scattered around the first few rows moving to situate themselves, sitting a little straighter, making sure their makeshift uniforms are done properly.

the doors at the back of the auditorium open. you wait for the figure to step out of the darkness, the emerge from the shadow from the mezzanine above.

“untie her. now.” the voice rings out, so familiar it hurts as the men from the wings move quickly to undo your gag. you feel the sudden coolness of a blade against your wrist, but it slashes away at the rope.

the man is moving quicker now, your eyes widening when you realize who he is.

“rafe!” you scream, shooting up from the chair. tears are already streaming down your cheeks as you run, sprint as fast as you can across the stage, rafe also breaking into a run as you take the stairs so fast you're worried you'll fall.

“y/n!” rafe yells out as you reach each other. you're lifted into the air behind him, sobs racking your body as you press your face into his neck, legs wrapping around his hips.

“you're alive!” you can hear the disbelief in rafes voice. 

“i-i thought you were dead rafe.” you whimper into his neck, pressing kisses to his skin between the words. “i came to tanneyhill after they arrived and it was-” you can't finish your sentence. partly because the pain of having to describe what happened to tanneyhill, the home you spent so much time at. but mostly you don't finish because rafe sets you down, moving your head out from his neck to press his lips against yours.

you sigh with relief before kissing back, hands fisting in his uniform, just now realizing how bulky his clothing is, various weapons hanging from them.

“i-i love you so much.” you tell rafe, pressing your fingers against his cheeks, the plains of them still as smooth as you remember. you look into his eyes. it's the same rafe, your rafe, but at the same time he's different. clearly hardened by the apocalypse, aged quicker from the stress.

“i love you.” rafe kisses you again. “i never stopped looking for you.”

you. you're the one. not a son or a sister, but the person the compound men were looking for.

“i-i didn't know you were here.” you wish you saw rafe out on a raid, but just like everyone else in the north carolina woods, you scatter when the compound men leave their base, almost as much of a threat as the aliens are.

“otherwise you wouldn't have stole from me, huh?” rafe smirks, making you giggle. he clearly hasn't lost his sense of humor.

he pulls you close to his chest as he looks to his men. “dismissed. i will be in my chambers. no disturbances unless it's an emergency.”

the men instantly scatter. rafe waits until they all leave before turning to look at you, hands skirting down your body to your wrists. he sighs deeply when he sees the marks from the rope, red and bleeding in some places.

“let me get you cleaned up.” rafe says, and you just nod. it feels surreal to finally be back with him, your boyfriend who you could have sworn was dead. you didn't stay long in the outer banks, not with the limited resources of an island, but you looked every day for rafe to see if he somehow survived the aliens before you fled into the woods.

you feel like your eyes are still glazed over as rafe leads you out of the auditorium, promising you a full tour of the compound later as he moves swiftly down the halls, two men walking in front of him and two men behind him.

you should have known rafe would get himself into some sort of leadership position even after the apocalypse. he might not be the most well versed in combat or shooting, but he can lead and throw commands around like he was born for it.

“this is my- our chambers.” rafe pushes the door open, the four men remaining outside as rafe leads you in. it's surprisingly comfortable inside, suddenly feeling like you're in a home rather than a military base.

“i-i think i may have died when i fell off the fence. there's no way this is real.” you genuinely have to run your hands along your arms, pinching yourself to make sure you aren't dreaming.

“it's real, baby.” rafe sighs with relief as he strips off the weapons, placing them at the table near the door before stripping off his fatigues until he's just in a plain white tshirt and shorts, looking just like the boy you knew before the end came.

as he steps closer, arms wrapping around you and allowing you to relax into his hold, reality comes rushing to you. you try to keep your cries quiet, but in no time sobs are racking your body, rafe lowering you both to the ground as you cry, loud sobs, even interlaced with screams from all the horrors you saw surviving without him. you let it all go, finally safe enough to.

rafe doesn't say anything, just holds you until your cries lessen and you pass out, exhaustion pulling you to sleep.

taglist: @winterrrnight @bejeweledreverie @drewstarkeyslut @forstarkey @f4ll-for-you @dilvcv @drudyslut @jjmaybankswifes-blog @rafescokenostril @jjsmarijuana @seeingstarks @angelofcigs @cece45450 @babygorewhore @vanessa-rafesgirl @michelleisheres-blog @outerbankspov @drewstarkeyswifehoe @cutielando @kamninaries @buckyswhxre @rafeinterlude @bellbottombaby @deeaardiary @rubixgsworld @wearemadeofstardust0 @leighbronk @starkeysheart @pradabambie @tobesolovelysstuff @alexiskirkland @rafestar @brioffthegrid @juniebugg @magicalyoura @cokepewpsii @mysticallystilinski @https-luvvia @aerangi @folklorsweet

[plumbum-art]

Crowleys Plants

If you're like me and can't sleep until you know exactly which plants Crowley owns, then...this is your lucky day!

I did a little research and these are the results so far. Feel free to correct me or add anything I missed.

in short: these are all more or less typical houseplants, as one probably would find in any common garden center. Nothing extraordinary here.

Let's start with the plants in Crowleys flat:

image source

There are at least three big pots (two at the window, one at the door) with the same plants

1 - some kind of Musa (banana plant)

2 - Strelitzia reginae (bird-of-paradise flower 👀)

3 - this poor, scared to death fellow is a Alocasia zebrina (zebra plant) Anthurium andraeanum (Flamingo flower)

Now on to the plants in the Bentley:

image source

4 - Monstera deliciousa (grows edible fruits!)

5 - Aspidistra elatior (Bar-room plant, I see what you did there)

6 - Ficus elastica (Rubber plant)

7 - Ficus lyrata (Fiddle-leaf fig, not to be confused with the common fig which has edible fruits)

8 - Aglaonema (Chinese evergreen)

9 - Calathea lancifolia (Rattlesnake plant ���)

Needless to say, that a mostly dark flat or a narrow car interior aren't the best places for such plants. It probably would take a miracle for them to survive...

Edit: @dreaded-mika pointed out that plant #3 could be a Anthurium andreanum and you are absolutely correct (I asked a gardener to confirm)! Thank you!!

[elaemae]

The premium version of human is here to wreck house, mfs.

[Twst x Obeyme!AFAB!reader]

CHP. 1.1: The start of the Blood Rose Tyrant.

Thank you, my amazing readers, for all the likes, comments, and reblogs🥹 It makes so happy, like– almost nothing can top the joy of seeing y'all liked my work :)

Btw, If you have any questions about my tagging and/or literally anything you wanna ask me bout the fic, just reach out to me and I'll try my best to answer you.😊

CW: Cursing, Idk what else... There's also the pronoun schtick I've been yapping about since pr. 1. (i.e MC will get mistaken for a pretty guy a lot -Mc is AFAB referred to as they/them- because the NRC cast have come to expect only boys to be in the school. Excluding the paintings ofc.)

(My pic)

Fun fact: While all of your ornaments act as containers to very *nom*-able amounts of magic, such a thing can be dangerous as it may give away your location if you need to hide or run away from someone.

Therefore, all of them were cast with a special spell developed by Solomon that makes it so that people can't sense that magic unless they're really close to you physically.

(Not to mention, only exceptional mages can actually have the hope of picking up on that magic as your all jewelry were also cast with a heavy magical concealment blessing from both Micheal and Luke.)

• • •

'What the hell is this?'

You think as you fiddled with the fancy pouch in your hands.

You had opened the gift box to find the pouch containing some basic skincare products and just went; ( •_•)..?

Like– What the hell? Who does that?? Are they saying that you're ugly and needed to start taking care of your face?! Well excuse you, I'll have you know –whomever you are– that this face was approved by Asmodeus himself you rude lil' shi—

*Ehem*

So like any sane person is supposed to do in that situation, you checked if the products were cursed or charmed and then pocketed it to maybe sell it in the future for some cash. (Lovely gift but you were taught never to use/ingest things given to you by strangers.)

Leaving the infirmary, you venture into the botanical garden, hoping you'd find some edible plants that you and Yuu can nibble on until you can procure other food options and some all important moneh. (Ugh, if only that damn crow didn't escape and hide away from you, you would've extorted his cowardly-ass and bought some food instead of needing to resort to this bs.)

'Trying to find a stone in a long abandoned mine is simply a fools errand.'

You thought as you absent-mindedly skipped past a certain tall, dark, and handsome man with horns, unknowing of the look of pure curiosity pointed at your back as you continued your musings.

'But oh well, they wanted to try so they might as well be those fools.'

You're not gonna stop them if they wanna try to fix things even though you've mostly stabilized the situation. (Not that they know.)

Damn, you also need to go to the library later so that you can learn what changes you'd need to do in order to adapt and know the problems you'd likely experience in this world.

Knowing yourself and your history for being a magnet of chaos, It'd probably involve almost dying more times than you have fingers and unearthing some deeply-buried soul-crushing trauma in which the only thing you'll get in return are the friends you've made along the way.

Aside from that though, you'd need to gain yourself a foothold in this society.

Preferably, there would be a lot of rich and influential people in this school to suck up to, but if those aren't enough then maybe you can venture into industries where you can kiss-ass in peace.

As much as you'd love to be optimistic, Crowley is the almost literal embodiment of a dead-beat dad barely pays child-support and your own search for a way home may take years before coming to fruition.

Tsk. You can feel your stress levels transcending the mortal plane of existence again as you can already envision the figurative mountain-range you'd need to climb just to achieve stability in this place.

$°\•m°n.. p/€∆$3.. H€\₱ m£...

Times like these just make you wanna curl up onto the floor in a fetal position and let the earth consume you whole.

Oh! And you also need to obtain a stronger blackmail material against Crowley to make sure he won't try anything remotely against you.

'Hmm... But maybe...'

You think as you took a quick and discreet glance to a security camera that had been "coincidentally" pointed at you.

Well, not really a coincidence.

If the mf behind these creepy-ass cameras —that have been watching you since your arrival here, mind you—, can lend you a hand then that would be the optimal outcome. There are a lot of security cameras after all...

Though there's also a large possibility that the fucker wanted you dead because of either boredom, simple bloodlust, money, vengeance (for some reason), your organs or all of the above.

You sighed as you entered the botanical garden, telling yourself to just worry about that later and focus on finding food.

If you get in trouble for taking plants here, you'll just throw Crowley under the bus. (figuratively and literally if he decides to be a bitch about it.)

• • • •

Yuu, Grim, Ace, and Deuce stumbled out of the mirror, finally away from the creepy forest and back into the college.

They all flinched and turned their heads back when they heard a dramatic 'Tsktsktsk–' from behind them.

"Well well well~ Look who finally decided to show up at–"

*checks imaginary wrist watch*

"46 minutes past midnight.. Huh.. If you all got any curfew for your dorms then you're both toast. Can't believe y'all spent more than five hours looking for a single rock..."

You said, referring to the two first years who flinched under your words and judgemental eyes.

"You all look like shit by the way."

Yuu awkwardly scratched their head.

"Thanks?"

*Sigh...*

"You're welcome, bbg."

"Just hurry up and give that rock to the fuckin crow already so that you all can spare the world from having to witness anymore of your gross, sweaty, homeless-lookin selves."

Deuce shrunk even further behind Yuu. (funny because Yuu was at least half-a-head shorter.)

Ace meanwhile, has too much ego to not say anything back.

"We wouldn't be looking like this if you at least helped!" He snarked.

"Why should I?"

You Dwayne-the-rock-Johnson raised your eyebrow at him.

"I don't owe any of you a smidgen of literally anything so why should I help?"

It wasn't a question, but a statement. Because why should you help? They should be grateful you even talked Crowley out of expelling them immediately. Not that they know but still...

But of course, audacity is gonna audacity. Because, Ace really had the nerve to look offended by your words, as if you weren't saying something as truthful as the sky being blue, the grass being green, and your ass being a literal masterpiece from god.

"Don't even try to pass off the blame, Weasley-wannabe. I know it, you know it, your mom knows it, your dad if you have one, your entire bloodline and your non-existent cow knows it, there's literally no point."

Ace literally almost snarled at you like a damn dog, pft– That's what he gets from pissing you off by existing earlier.

"Oh shut up!"

He then looked like he was about to start a rant of how unfair his life was and how he totally didn't deserve any of this and blahblahblahblahblah–

You swear on Diavolo and Luci's fruity man-boobs, you'll hang this bitch upside down like a bat if you had to hear another complaint about things being unfair for him.

What about you? or Yuu? Isn't life more cruel and unfair to you two? Taking you both away from loved ones and shoving you into a world where you two need to fight for a temporary sanctuary as you both try to go home with no real proof you'll actually be able to make it back?

Isn't life more unfair to you? Right when you almost finally achieved the start of your happy ending.. You were taken away from the people that you fought tooth and nail to be with.. And now, they're all too far away for you to reach... again.

Deuce elbowed Ace, thankfully making the jab to the ribs painful for the annoying ginger.

You dramatically sighed again, turning to Yuu and Deuce.

"Remember kids, don't copy Ace's attitude okay? Lest you want to end up single and with no bitches for the rest of your life."

Ace's right eye twitched erratically, shouting at you to shut up and to stop messing with him.

• • • • •

Talking with the crow is an annoying affair as expected. At least now, Yuu is finally an official learner of the school. Even if they're just half-a-student with the loud talking cat. (That kinda reminds you of Mammon, now that you think of it. Also very funny because the cat's name is grim of all things..)

Oh, and you're a prefect now. You're definitely going to make that everyone's problem. Hehehehehe~

"So the abandoned dorm we were supposed to live in is fixed now? How? Hasn't it only been like– a day?"

You ominously beamed at the question, releasing a sinister little giggle that caused Ace, Deuce, and the now wide-awake Grim to subconsciously shiver while Yuu refrained from asking further questions and just wisely snickered instead.

Unseen by everyone, you sent a quick devious little smile to a wall where a certain electrical device was mounted, biting down a snort when you saw the security camera suddenly snap into another direction, as if it was a person embarrassed that they got caught by someone they were staring at.

You then had to hold back a cackle as you remembered how easily this newly made stalker friend of yours snitched on the headmaster, like– you literally didn't even do anything, the flustered boy just gave you the blackmail material that you needed. Well, maybe you did corner him a little bit by using his own electronics against him but you're pretty sure he enjoyed it for some reason if the way he literally blurted out 'mommy-' at you was anything to go by—

Haha, the benefits of having a hacker as a fren :3

• • • •

Kicking away the two idiots and telling them to go back to their dorms already, you dragged Yuu inside the now newly fixed dorm.

The two of you needed to talk about a few things and arrangements..

• • • •

Quickly opening the door in hopes that the fucker that was banging on it gets mash-dabbed face-first, you saw nothing but disappointment as the bastard — Ace — had actually moved away from the door in an impressive display of intuition and spidey-sense before you had even wretched the door open.

"What the fuck do you want, you ugly punyeta?"

It hasn't even been a few hours since this mf parted ways with you and Yuu, so what could be the problem now?

. .. . . . . ..

"No, you're sleeping on the couch."

"What?! But why?!! There are perfectly good rooms here!"

"All the other rooms besides the one we're using are still unfurnished. The beds in them are yet to be assembled and the floors are dusty because of the quick renovations." Yuu stated, rubbing the bridge of their nose.

"Ughhhhh! Just let me squeeze in, I promise I won't take up too much space!"

"Nice try but no."

"Tch, You're all so stingy and inhospitable.."

"Yuu, Do you hear that?" You said, theatrically cupping your ear with a hand.

"Yes, It seems that a forever virgin is talking." Yuu answered with a smirk.

"Hey!"

"Sorry, you oompa-loompa lookin ass— we unfortunately can't understand the language of people who can't pull."

"You guys are the worst."

"Thanks bbg." you and Yuu paused.

"Pft–"

"Oh dear~ It seems you're starting to take after me."

"Indeed it seems." Yuu replied, even subconsciously copying the fancy accent you used.

"Oh no, you're multiplying. :0"

"Haha, we're still dragging you to apologize to your Housewarden later."

"Aww shucks.."

← Pr.7 | Chapter List | Chp. 1.2 →

Thanks for reading this far, my amazing readers ＼⁠(⁠^⁠o⁠^⁠)⁠／

Pls don't forget to reblog and like, it really helps me so much <3

Taglist;

@f0uerleafedcl0ver @a-traveling-void-human @leviathans-tail-scales @nimko @solarixstar @sugarrush-blush @im-in-love-with-fairytales @irisxiel @meigalaxy @nightw-izhu @refridgeratorplus @moonieper @certified-twst-simp @immakittybear @iris-arcadia @caprinaesprout @mc-glare-is-king

Pls if I forgot to tag someone, pls tell me..

Tumblr is fuckin with me again.

Reminder; Just tell me if y'all wanna be added to the permanent taglist.

[evilminji]

Here I sit, considering Blood Blossoms.

It can be safely assumed, that the species originally developed their Anti-ghost properties to drive HUMANS and other things with, well, SOULS? Away? But as some enterprising human likely did, was selectively bred for purely Anti-ghost properties.

As with most things in nature, we can only assume it was originally to allow for unfettered spread of its seeds. Likely even had an effect on other PLANTS, allowing it more soil in which to grow. A "Blight Blossom" if you will. Or "Life's Bane".

But! That is not what I wonder about.

I wonder about the OTHER end of the evolutionary niche. Like plants with berries, meant to entice birds and other animals into carrying their seeds to new and fertile grounds.

Are there Ghost ATTRACTING plants?

And I don't not mean, drugs, though that certainly WOULD be one means of attracting potentially symbiotic relationships. I mean plants that smell unusually good. TASTE good. Have developed around high ectoplasmic areas.

Do they only exsist in the Realms? Or are such plants possible to find in the living Realm?

If I found them, dug them up carefully, and transferred them to a brand new home, freshly built on untouched land... would it be haunted in short order? Or would the plants die, because the environment could no longer support them?

The most LIKELY contender to exsist? Would be some sort of extoplasmic berry. An EXTREMELY hardy and slow growing vine, that likely grows in places of high extoplasm. Such as old war zones, grave yards, old hospitals, and cities with particularly high death counts. Or Amity. Really, anywhere it can find a LOT of Ectoplasm.

I imagine the berries would literally glow. Like neon battery acid. Reminiscent of blackberry bushs with long creeping vines and hooking thorns. Darker, red black leaves.

DEEPLY lethal if the living ingested. The comparison to battery acid being not made lightly.

The berries, I imagine, would basicly be sugar water and ectoplasm. Sweet ecto. The plant "realizing" that ghosts need ectoplasm. If it HAS ectoplasm, they will come get it. And if the form the ectoplasm is pleasing? They will cultivate the plant to get more.

Because that's what it does. It passively gathers ectoplasm from the air, water, and soil.

Into a nice, neat, EDIBLE little treat.

After all, it's not like there's a hole to the Zone just lying around! Do you know how hard it is to luck out and find a natural portal? How are we to feed ourselves? Sit here and suck air?

Yes, the portal makes the plant effectively redundant. But! Much like pigeons? It doesn't stop EXISTING just because ghosts aren't using it now. Just going unharvested.

Which? Is probably why there are so many new ghost animals. They ARE berries after all. Danny should probably talk to people about that. It's irresponsible to just up an leave lethal fruit where humans might find it.

@hdgnj @nerdpoe @ailithnight @the-witchhunter

[tvchi]

Veiled Intentions

Disclaimers: DO NOT COPY OR REPOST MY WORK. DO NOT TRAIN AI WITH MY WORK.

Warnings: Mature Audiences ONLY: 18+, Minors DNI- Nudity, Sexual Intercourse, Gagging, Profanity.

Pairing: black male x black female Words: 3,829

A/N: Alright so I'm dusting my pen off because reading all of yalls Terry Richmond fanfics got my HOT!! I've been reading a lot of @megamindsecretlair 's stories as well as @hotgrlcece's stories and I thought I'd enter the chat. This story a long form, slow burn. There are some smut and sexual scenes, but they aren't the premise of the story. This is meant to be a suspense, romance so if you're just here for fucking only, this one is NOT for you. Your feedback is greatly appreciated because I'm really trying to get better. So Like, Comment, and Reblog as the spirit moves you. ❤️❤️🥰!

Museums were a calming space for you. You went there to clear your head of the plebeian controversies of the day and focus on depictions of the beauty left on the earth. It was a place where you could dream and dream within your dream. Your fingers planted forbidden kisses against the open sculptures and installations on the floor. The lights and colors on several paintings reminded you of schemes you've longed to bring together in your space and wardrobe. You smiled at how staring at someone else's creativity helped unlock yours. 

"Ma'am, the museum closes in 10 mins," said one of the security guards. 

"I'm so sorry. I had no idea where the time went," you replied.

You made your way back to the museum's entrance, picking up a brochure about the next central art installation. 

"I'm usually the one shutting down the place," a voice said from behind you.

You turned around to see where that low tenor came from. A pair of chiseled pecs masked in black cashmere met your gaze first. Stepping back, You met a pair of slate grey-blue eyes peeking through a set of thick lashes. Taking in his whole face, you noticed how his jaw seemed to be carved from marble; his toffee complexion glowed in the warm, dim light. When you didn't speak, he broke the thick silence with a warm smile.

"I'm Terry. Nice to meet you," he said.

"Y/N," you managed. It was just then that I caught my grave mistake. I swiftly turned on my heels and headed for the door.

"Wait, I wanted to know—" was all he could get out before you were already out the door.

In your line of work, you had to temper your emotions. The moment you thought that your countenance would betray what you were thinking or what you were about to do, you had to create a diversion to get you back on the offensive. From introduction to interrogation, no one should be able to read your thoughts. The moment you introduced yourself with your given name to a beautiful man you barely knew was the exact moment you needed to head home to the apartment where Adrian would be waiting for you with ingredients for tonight's date night. And you did. There was something about those eyes and how his smile reached his eyes and then diminished into a luscious grin like he knew a secret you didn't. It pulled you in. 

You thought about it on the ride home. When you arrived at the house and turned the key into the front door, you were greeted by flowers and a card that read, "I missed you. Come find me". You smiled. Adrian was quite the romantic. Every Friday night, he had something special planned for you both to do that you would enjoy and give you all a chance to connect. A sweet breath of fresh air from the other men you came across while dating. He understood and met your needs. He treated you like an equal and championed your ambitions. Well… the ambitions you needed him to know about. He was always eager to make sure you wanted for nothing. The icing on the cake was the sculpted body wrapped in edible caramel coating and a face women could fight over. Taking off your coat and shoes, you sauntered through the living room and kitchen, trying to find him. You made your way up to the bedroom, thinking that maybe he wanted to skip foreplay and go straight to dessert tonight. When you didn't find him in the bedroom, you went back downstairs to pick up your phone and call him when you noticed the basement door was ajar and the lights were on.

"Adrian, you got me going all over this house looking for you. I almost gave up!" you said, feigning exasperation.

"I had to make sure you got all your steps in for the day," he retorted. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into a sensual kiss. "Mmm, how was the museum? Did you see anything you liked?

"Oh, it was incredible! They were doing a showcase for local talent in the county, and they were amazing. Most of them were kids in high school. Their use of color and texture blew me away. This one artist creates portraits with staples and a staple gun. I mean, the kind of eye you must have to place each staple in its place!!!" 

You could talk all day about art. As you recounted everything you had seen and heard, Adrian watched you. He loved how animated you got when you spoke about things you were passionate about. Your eyes would light up like embers, and your hands would move frantically, trying to depict the images in your head. The whole world went away when you spoke. At least, that's what it felt like for him.

"Yeah, and then I was walking out because the security guard said it was closing time and this guy came out of nowhere and–" you started.

"A guy?" Adrian asked, brows raised. 

"Yes, a guy. They make those from the same factory you came from. Anyway, he came out of nowhere, and I didn't even hear him. He was too huge for me not to hear him. But we were the only two left in the entire museum. I don't think I've ever shut down a museum before." you finished.

"What did he look like?" Adrian queried again.

"What you gonna do? Track him down and ask him why he likes art. The whole territorial, jealousy thing was cute at first, but now you getting out of hand" you replied with a smirk. The truth is you had a weakness for men who didn't play about you. It was actually one of the first things that attracted you to Adrian. You could handle your own, but it was something about having someone go to bat for you that felt amazing. That wasn't something you grew up with in your family, but it became something you demanded out of all your friendships and romantic relationships. 

Adrian shrugged off your reply and went back to sculpting something. This was the first time since you entered the basement that you noticed that your activity for the night was making clay sculptures.

"Oh! Baby, we're sculpting! I've always wanted to go to a class! How am I just now seeing this? I've been talking your ear off this whole time, and you didn't say anything!" you squealed.

"I know. Since you could never make it to a class, I would bring it to you. But you have to change into that apron and lose the top," he said with his back facing you.

You looked at him incredulously until you noticed that he was shirtless and wearing an apron. 

"Fine, I'll play," you rebutted.

"You always do," he said sharply. "Oh, the titty bags too."

Peeling off your top to reveal your round, juicy breasts, you took the apron and wrapped the ties around your waist.

"I wasn't wearing one." Sitting down, you could feel his gaze on you as you tried to figure out how to start the machine. He stopped his project to assist you with yours. Placing a stool beside you, he put a mound of clay on top of it for you to work with and turned on your potter's wheel. Cleo Sol saturated the airwaves as you sculpted away. You loved the way the clay felt in your hands, and after feeling so inspired by the museum, you decided that you were going to make your very own artistic contribution to the loft. An hour passed before you felt Adrian's warmth behind your back and his hands on yours.

"What are you making," he asked curiously.

"A vase. Something that would look great on the coffee table."

"I can see that," he replied, baritone in your ear. He held his position, sitting with you between his legs, guiding your hands to sculpt. Minutes of silence went by while Jhene Aiko sang. You relaxed into him, and her words rang through the speakers. 

"How do you feel right now," he inquired.

"Relaxed, calm, soothed, and seen," you said as you tilted sideways to look up at him, angling for a kiss. He brought his lips to yours and kissed you softly.

"Good," he said, giving you one last kiss. You turned your head forward to face the project hand when he spattered your face with the clay you two had been playing with.

"I KNOW you just didn't spray me with clay," you yelped.

"Naw I did that. I did all that," he said with a grin as he gathered more clay and smeared it all over your neck, chest, and apron. You gasp.

"Oh, is this what we're doing? Bet! You took a chunk of the clay you were still molding on the wheel and flung it at him. Surprised at how quick you were, he retreated to his side of the room to gather more clay. You managed to outmaneuver him and smear some of the clay in his face. Seeing he had few options, he lifted you in the air and tickled you back to the floor. Once he had you pinned, he poured the rest of the wet he was working with all over you. Satisfied with the mess he made, he let your arms free as he sat back on his heels and laughed. 

"You look amazing in clay," he grinned as his genuine laughter transitioned into a sultry smirk. 

"It almost went into my mouth!" you yelled.

"Yeah, I know. You noticed anything about the clay?" he asked.

"Should I?" you asked. Still smirking, he smeared the clay on your collarbone all over his index finger and dipped it into your mouth.

"It's…. it's.. it's chocolate!" you exclaimed. 

"Yup, and since I made this mess, Imma lick you clean," he retorted seductively. He pounced, liking the sides of your face and neck. Planting soft kisses in between each taste, he gently removed your apron. 

Next, he worked on the wide-legged trousers you were wearing. Lifting you with one hand to slide your pants down your thick, toned ass, he made sure to slide your panties down with them. Freeing your hips, toned thighs, and juicy calves from those pants, he panted your now naked lower half with the chocolate spewed on his chest and abs as he laid on top of you, sucking your nipples. You moaned. The familiarity of his tongue caressing you is something you had always yearned for. He has studied you in more ways than one, and your spots are something he is well versed in. He worked his way down to your stomach, licking and kissing the chocolate clay from your belly button. The warmth of his mouth mixed with the cool air made you tremble. Anticipating the euphoria that would accompany his final stop on his sojourn south, your breath hastened and you closed your eyes. 

"Ohhhh," you moaned as he hit your sweet center. He took his time licking the mixture of nectar and truffle, ensuring he did not miss a skin stitch. As you worked your hips on the pressure of his tongue, he grabbed your ass to pull you close. His fingers worked his way inside you, stroking your walls as he continued to assault your pearl. 

"Mmmhm," he let out, satisfied with how you were tightening around his fingers, ready to combust. 

"Adrian," you cried, "I need you."

He slipped his fingers from her core and slipped them inside her mouth. She tasted as good as he expected. 

"All you had to do was ask, baby," he replied.

He tore his belt from his jeans and threw it on the floor. He unfastened the denim and let it fall to the floor. Threatening to burst through his navy boxers was her prize. She reached up to claim what was hers. Freeing his girth, she marveled at its beauty. His shaft, the toffee color with perfectly placed veins coursing through to its tip. Its head was a cool caramel shade, glistening with the pre-cum that leaked from it. 

"You gonna stare at it, or you gon do something with it," he teased.

You reached around him and, grabbing a handful of the edible clay, stroked his shaft. He whimpered at your touch. You attempted to hide his shaft in the depths of your throat. 

"Fuuuuuck" he choked. You were on a mission to suck his soul out of his dick. Your jaw slacked, and you relaxed your throat, taking him all in. He grabbed the back of your head, holding it in place while he fucked your throat. As saliva spilled down the sides of your mouth, you used the moisture to coat your hands. All lathered, you massaged his balls and tent. 

"Shiiit," he growled, "Alana, I'm about to….fuck!" were the last words he said before she exploded in your mouth. You swallowed every last drop, and he leaned on the table behind him, still turning what was left of his pottery project. You looked up at him as you milked the last drop from his shaft.

"They gon' have to pry you outta my cold, dead hands. You know that?" he asked. You laugh as you wipe the corners of your mouth.

"I ain't never coming up off you. Shit!" he said.

"That's good to know," you chuckled. 

He helped you up off of your knees.

"Round 2. Upstairs. Beat me there." You watched as he swelled back to his original strength. Lit with excitement, you replied, "Yessir," and headed upstairs. You knew he could take a minute getting upstairs because he would probably clean up a little. If there was one thing Adrian was, if he wasn't crazy about you, it was neat. He wasn't afraid to make a mess, but he wasn't fond of leaving it there either. You washed off the rest of the clay in the shower and made sure to hit your hotspots. You stepped out of the shower and hurried to lotion up and place your scents on as you heard him walking up the steps. Once he found you, he pulled you in for a kiss. 

"What time do you have to be up tomorrow?" he asked.

"Around 7, why?"

"You'll be cutting it very close," he replied, his dark eyes glued to her hips and thighs. He led you to the bed and laid you there gently. Removing the rest of his clothes, he joined you on top of the covers. You two made love all night. Where you were rough, he was gentle. Where he was deep and deliberate, you were quick and light. The two worlds collided again and again, leaving both of you with multiple organisms and a yearning to produce climaxes even more extraordinary than the last. Finally, at 4:45 am, you conceded. Rolling over, drained yet satisfied, you fell asleep to the soft pressures of him kissing the length of your back while messaging your ass. 

An hour and a half later, the sound of your alarm screeching causes you to bolt from your place under his arms. As you switch the alarm off, you slowly get out of bed. You felt like shit. You were sore, your neck ached, and you felt hungover, given your hour of sleep. As you reached the bathroom, you stopped and peered at Adrian. You would kill him if he weren't so damn fine. He kept you up all night on purpose for making him give up that first nut so fast—ever the competitor. Finally, when you got to the bathroom, you did your entire morning routine and dressed. The warm shower did help the soreness a little, but you would need coffee and lots of it for the tiredness. Feeling petty, you decide that you wouldn't be the only one suffering that morning.

"Wake up!" you scream, jumping on Adrian, almost knocking off the bed.

"What happened? Whats going on? You okay?" he blabbered, alarmed yet still half asleep.

"Everything is fine. I just wanted you to take me to work today," you said, planting a syrupy smile on your face.

"Alana, you have a car. I put gas in it yesterday morning. I took it for an oil change last weekend. Your brakes are new, and none of your lights are on. You can't take yourself to work?" he asked, slightly annoyed.

"I mean, I can, but I want you to take me. I love it when you take me to work. I like to remind all of them hating ass bitches that I'm fine and fucked— regularly," you lied.

"Uh-huh," he chuckled. "So it don't got nothing to do with the fact that you were up all night tryna out do me and you got an early day but I don't?" he asked in disbelief.

"Do you think I'm THAT petty?" you asked, feigning innocence.

"Yes. But imma take you anyway," he said, getting out of the bed and heading to the bathroom.

"Why?" you inquired curiously.

"To let all them hating ass niggas waiting in the wings to know that you're mine and you're fucked. Well," he said in finality. He freshened up in the bathroom and threw on a Fear of God sweat set. He grabbed his sneakers and headed down the stairs. He looked good even when he was annoyed and half asleep. It wasn't fair, but I never complained. In fact, I was calculating how late I could be getting to work in case I wanted another quick session.

"Move that ass, Alana," his voice echoed through the apartment.

You made your way down the steps, threw on your pumps, grabbed your briefcase, and opened the door. 

You both headed outside; he opened your door and waited for you to get in. He darted around and got in the driver's seat. The car ride was silent. You looked out the window, taking in the city's sights. Kids playing in the cool autumn air in jackets, shop owners sweeping the outsides of their shops, the homeless at bus stops turning to the morning air and the bodies passing by. The city awakening after its long slumber was a work of art you had hoped to capture one day in a photograph or on canvas. This was home. Arriving at the front entrance of the Library of Athena at Pembroke University, Adrian hopped out of the car, went around to your door, and opened it. He held your hand as you climbed out of the X7. 

"Damn, I forgot to remind you about taking lunch out of the refrigerator," he said. He rummaged through his pockets until he found his wallet. He handed you a hundred-dollar bill. When you looked at him puzzled, he added, "That's all the cash I have on me. Use it for lunch."

"I don't need this much, Adrian. It's okay. I'll eat something from the cafe. It's usually free for faculty," you replied

"Nah, eat something good today. You went through it last night," he smirked as he kissed your lips, making sure to remind you of last night. "Have a good day," he added.

"You too," you said, leaving him leaned up against the car, watching you walk into the grand double doors of the library. Before making it inside, you turned to see if he was still watching. He caught your eye and winked, making you blush. He climbed back into the car after giving a nod to some students who were passing through and drove off. 

You held that interaction and the night before in your heart as you straightened your face and walked down the long corridor of the library. You checked if anyone was watching or following you before you made a sharp right and opened the doors to a stairwell. Going down two flights of steps, you opened the door and made a left turn down another long hallway. Awaiting you at the end of the hall were two uniformed men. They parted ways, letting you into a service elector. You pressed "3". As the elevator descended, you opened your briefcase and switched tags, keys, and badges. You grabbed the claw clip stashed in another bag compartment and pinned your hair up. The compact mirror at the bottom of your bag contains the contacts you've been made to wear. Opening it, you placed the soft contacts from your eyes into their placeholders and put a pair of clear-framed glasses on instead. Once the elevator doors opened, the United States seal and coat of arms greeted you from their place on the floor. You smiled and nodded at everyone who turned to look at you from their desks. You made your way to your desk and quickly got settled before opening your computer to take on the tasks for the day.

"Now I know you didn't just waltz in here and not say a word to me about last night!" exclaimed your co-worker and good friend Brooke. "And from the way you tried to walk up those steps, I know he hit it GOOD. Spill now!"

"You know, when you're looking at surveillance all day, you're supposed to be looking for possible threats, not watching me!" I said, feigning annoyance.

"I review footage I think is pertinent to national security and honey, that man, very pertinent!" she stated as she nodded profusely. You laughed.

"You're a mess," you said.

"Y/N, my office, please," Deputy Assistant Director Moore barked.

"Damn, what did you do?" Brook asked.

"Hell, if I know," you replied, confused.

"Well, you better get up there. From how his eye blinks, he's not in a good mood today," she said.

You walked up the flight of stairs and knocked on the door.

"You wanted to see me, sir," you asked as he opened the door for you. 

"Yes. I wanted to receive an update on your current assignment. But before we do that, I want to introduce you to the ASAC of the criminal division. Special Agent Richmond. Richmond, this is SA Olisa, one of our best and brightest here in the intelligence division.

"That's kind of you to say, sir," you replied politely as you slowly turned your attention to the tall figure in a black suit approaching you. Tilting your head upwards, you realized you recognized those slate grey-blue eyes and thick lashes. That glow of toffee that scrambled your senses stood a foot away from you with a slight smirk on his face, most likely from the fact that you were gawking at him, trying to make sense of what he was doing there. That low tenor you remember vividly, once again, broke the silence. 

"Nice to meet you; my name is Terrance. Everyone calls me Terry." Tags: @thecapodomme @writers-of-tmblr @melaninpov @spaceslutsworld @nahimjustfeelingit-writes @mymusicbias @the-black-label @master-builder42 @miraculously-dumb-bitch @megamindsecretlair @hopefulromantic1 @tranquilfandomer @thadelightfulone @vivalaorgasm @hotgrlcece @planetblaque @blackgurlnhermoods @sweettea-and-honeybutter @andriaharris @kumkaniudaku @theblacklewinsky

[mouwrites]

HIII POOKIE :D

CONGRATULATIONS ON 700SUBS, YOU DESERVE IT🎉

If the slots aren't full yet, I'd like to request for Cole from Ninjago and romantic please

I honesIf the slots aren't full yet, I'd like to request for Cole from Ninjago and romantic please. I don't mind whatever you chose to write about but maybe if the reader could be a ninja with the elemental power of plasma and Jay's twin sister.

Thank you !!

YIPPEE THANK YOUU!! Here ya go!

Word count: 1k

Ninjago - Coming Home (Cole) (700 follower event)

The minute you walked through the door, you were hit with the incredible scent of something cooking in the kitchen. It was a smell you knew all too well, and one that never failed to make your mouth water. 

Taking off your shoes as quickly as your exhaustion allows, you scurried into the kitchen to find exactly what you expected.

His back was turned to you, and in the center of his lower back the apron was tied in a messy bow. His arms worked on something in front of him, and you could hear him humming quietly to whatever was playing through his headphones.

You decide to take the opportunity to sneak up on him. Quietly you tiptoed across the tile floor, raising your arms in preparation.

“Boo!” You exclaimed, grabbing his shoulders.

Cole gave a little yelp, sending the spatula he was holding down to the floor with a splat.

“Y/n!” Instead of being upset, he whirled around to greet you with a smile. He threw his arms around you, lifting you effortlessly and twirling around the kitchen. 

Once you were both thoroughly dizzy he let you down, planting a quick kiss on your cheek while you continued to giggle.

“I’m glad you’re home, sweetheart,” he sighed, his hands clasped at the small of your back.

“I’m glad to be home! Mmm… What are you cooking?” You glanced past him at the cooking ware on the stove, as well as the bowl on the counter.

“I think you know,” Cole replied with a wink. “Your favorite. And then a cake for later.”

“You made [favorite meal]?”

“Sure did! Not too bad, either, eh?”

You approached the stove to look at it. It smelled fine—no, it smelled amazing. And it looked… not bad, actually. 

“You’re getting better on your presentation,” you hummed.

“Yeah? Does that mean it actually looks edible?”

You chuckled, turning around to grasp your boyfriend’s hand. “More than edible. I’m physically restraining myself from digging in right now.”

Cole smiled, pecking your lips gratefully. “Thanks. I tried.”

You walked over to the bowl to look at the cake frosting. Chocolate, of course. And on a cooling rack nearby there waited two slabs of—you guessed it—chocolate cake.

“Can I lick the—” You turned around to find Cole licking the spatula already. You were about to pout, but suddenly you remembered that he dropped that spatula a minute ago.

“Cole! That’s probably covered in germs!”

“Five second rule.”

“It has been way more than five seconds.”

“...Five minute rule.”

You sigh, taking the spatula from his hands despite his protesting. You approach the sink, ready to clean it off, but… you can’t resist a little lick yourself.

“Hey! I saw that!”

“Saw what?”

“What happened to ‘that’s probably covered in germs’?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You shook your head, washing the spatula.

“You filthy liar,” Cole chided, coming up behind you and wrapping his arms around your middle. “Now give it back so I can finish the cake.”

Drying off the spatula, you handed it to Cole. He kissed your cheek as thanks and began working on icing the top of the first layer. 

“So, how was your day?”

“It was good. Tiring, that’s all.”

“Oh, I know the feeling. Ninja work doesn’t go easy on a guy.”

“I’d argue that it could be a little harder on you guys,” you challenged, earning a perked up eyebrow from Cole. “I mean, Jay still manages to call me about ten times a day.”

He burst out in laughter, understanding your meaning now. “Ah, he’s your brother; he just worries. I do, too, you know.”

“Yeah, but you don’t bug me every hour of the day about it.”

“True. I wait until you get home to pester you.”

You scoff bemusedly. “You don’t pester me at home. You make me awesome meals and cakes.”

“Hm… also true. But then I pester you.”

“No. Then you go into a food coma for an hour.”

“Y/n, I’m trying to sound romantic here,” Cole joked, bumping you with his elbow. “As your boyfriend, I worry about your safety.”

“And I appreciate that. But I also appreciate how you don’t pester me about it. Unlike a certain someone…”

“I guess I don’t. Only because I trust you, though. I trust that you’ll call when you need help, and you’ll tell me when you get hurt.” He looked at you from the corner of his eye, and you could feel his gaze on you as you took to washing a couple dishes. “...Are you hurt?”

“No, my love. I’m fine. Are you hurt?”

“Nope. You know I stay safe out there.”

“Yeah. I bet you’re about as sore as I am, though.”

“Oh, definitely. I’m already looking forward to that food coma.”

You snickered, washing the last dish just as Cole finished icing the cake. 

“And… done. Look at her… she’s beautiful… and the cake looks good, too.” Cole winked at you, ignoring your good-natured eyeroll. “Let’s eat now.”

The food was, as usual, divine. Cole had refined his cooking skills throughout the years, and though he always insisted that Zane was the better cook, you personally preferred Cole’s cooking. It had a strange sleep-inducing effect, one that always put you both out for at least an hour.

And so, after finishing some cake, you both lumbered over to the couch for a nap. You found your natural spot on top of him, sprawled out like a blanket over him. (He liked to call you his “personal weighted blanket,” which always amused you)

Your muscles relaxed for the first time that day, and you could feel Cole’s muscles relaxing, too. That was a good thing; he was much more comfortable to lay on when he relaxed.

You could hear his heart beating in his chest, and that was the only noise you heard as you drifted off.

Though, you could’ve sworn you heard, just as you were about to enter dreamland:

“I love you, Y/n.”

And you liked to think that you said back, drowsily:

“I love you too, Cole.”

Thank you so much for taking part in our event!! And thanks for reading, take care duckies :] <3

[therealieblog]

A big part of Intuitive Eating involves the de-stigmatizing of food. How do we de-stigmatize food? By not assigning it moral qualities, and by not using derogatory, negative language when we talk about food.

Examples of moralizing, derogatory and negative language we, under diet culture, still use regularly when talking about food:

"Sinful"

"Fattening"

"Unhealthy"

"Deadly"

"Bad for you"

"Clean"

"Pure"

"Healthy"

"Good" "

Junk/Junk food"

"Crap/Crappy"

Words to use instead of: Instead of "Sinful", or "Fattening", use "Decadent", "Rich" or "Delicious". Avocados and dark chocolate and many organic, "healthy" foods will make you fatter if you eat them often enough. Is this really about health? Or is it about fatphobia?

Instead of "Unhealthy", you can just say what it is about the food that impairs your health. "It hurts my stomach," "It makes my skin greasy/makes me break out", "I'm allergic to it" "I feel nauseous when I eat that." That at least is honest. Saying any food that isn't on some diet culture list of approved foods is "unhealthy" is just not scientifically accurate or backed by anything other than fear mongering.

Yes, eating foods high in fat and salt and sugar in large enough quantities, for long enough periods of time can negatively affect your health, but the vast majority of studies done on exactly how it affects your health, do not control for participants' smoking, drinking, drug use, genetic predispositions (genetics makes up a significant portion of health by the way), sedentary lifestyle, exposure to chemicals in the environment, mental health status, or literally anything outside of what they eat, so... yeah... f@ck that.

Ditto with "Bad for you." It's just so formless and un-researched and based in fatphobia. What does that even mean? In what amount is it "bad for you?" would it be equally bad for anyone to eat "unhealthy" foods at any time? Is there a magic threshold past which one's donut consumption goes from infrequent to "bad for you" levels? Or, are human beings a wildly diverse group of people, who all have very different bodies, metabolisms, genetics, tolerances, tastes and needs.

"Clean" is just as bad as "Bad For You", only worse, because it's so moralistic. If food is made out of animals, plants and grains, and is considered edible by human beings, it's fucking clean. Now if you're talking about gross things falling into the food by accident during the process of making it, or if you're talking about pesticides being used on your fruit and vegetables, then I get wanting to make sure the food is "clean". But if you're putting food on some sort of angelic pedestal for being free from sugar, or saturated fats, or carbohydrates, then you are still stuck in diet culture.

Instead of "Junk food", which implies that the food itself is garbage, which is honestly just a horrifying way to think about and talk about food, you could say "play food", "fun food", "snack food". These foods: chips, chocolate, cookies etc. aren't meant to fulfill your nutritional needs. We eat them for enjoyment, or to pick us up when we're blue, to calm us when we're stressed, or just because it tastes good and we like eating it. I think gentle nutrition is important, and paying attention to how food makes you feel is obviously important, but the way we perceive food and talk about food, reinforces what we think of ourselves when we eat it. If we are eating "bad" and "unhealthy" foods, then we are bad and unhealthy people, and that is a mind-fuck, believe me.

I've performed a 25 year longitudinal dieting study on myself. I know what it feels like to absolutely hate myself for what my body tells me it wants to eat. Not fun. So please have a care with the way you speak about food, and the way you look at yourself in relation to food. Food is sustenance and life. It is meant to be enjoyed, not feared. Lets not talk about food as if the thing meant to connect us to life also makes us inherently morally deviant.

[rottenpumpkin13]

What are the nighttime routines for any characters you want?

Genesis:

• Take a shower, singing and practicing his award acceptance speeches.

• Do his extensive skincare routine.

• Get dressed. Put on silk pajamas. Realize he feels ridiculous and it's not like he has anyone to dress up for. Put on old Loveless T-shirt and pyjama pants instead.

• Try to have a bedtime snack.

• Have some grapes. Feel disgusted that the grapes aren't fresh and remind himself to order grapes from the good, expensive supermarket next time.

• Pour himself some wine and pick out a book.

• Briefly glance at his phone and wonder if Angeal and Sephiroth are still awake. Decide he shouldn't bother them.

• Spent the next 2 hours reading until he finally drifts off to sleep with the book on his face.

Sephiroth:

• Take a bath.

• Have an existential crisis in said bath.

• Zone out.

• Nearly drown.

• Wash hair.

• Finish two hours later.

• Try to have a bedtime snack.

• Have some grapes. Lament that the grapes aren't fresh. Feel existential dread creep in as he realizes he could have fresh grapes if he lived anywhere other than Midgar, but unfortunately, he works for Shinra.

• Turn on air purifier. Crawl into bed. feel discomfort. Crawl out of bed. Grab giant stuffed moogle Genesis gave gim as a gag gift but he sleeps with it sometimes. Try to sleep.

• Wonder if he should text Angeal and Genesis. No, they're probably asleep.

• Fail. Lie awake for two hours wallowing in existential dread, remembering memories that cannot be changed and the faces of people he couldn't save.

• Cover his head with a pillow and try to sleep.

• Wake up three minutes later.

• Realize he got 0 sleep and has a full day of work.

Angeal:

• Take a shower and spend wayy too long under the hot water.

• Shave and briefly entertain the idea of growing a mustache.

• Water his plants.

• Check his phone to see if Genesis and Sephiroth sent him anything. Nothing. They must be asleep.

• Start to cook but realize it's pointless to cook for one person. He has some grapes instead.

• Realize the grapes aren't fresh, but they're still edible. Have flashbacks to nights he went to bed hungry as a child. Feel so guilty he finishes all the grapes.

• Check his phone again because sometimes Sephiroth texts him when he can't sleep. Nothing.

• Turn on the TV and continue watching whatever show he's currently interested in.

• Fall asleep with the TV on.

[kouchabu-archive]

Hajime Shino 4☆ Feature Scout 2

Title: President Grass and Pizza

Writer: Suika

Season: Summer

NOTE: I EXPLICITLY PROHIBIT USAGE OF ANY PART OF MY TRANSLATIONS ON ANYTHING THAT RELATES TO AI.

-----------

Rinne: (Hehe, today’s my lucky day!)

(Who knew I'd bag a big win in the slot machines today! Ain't that enough to make up for my losses this month?)

(I thought that of course I'd come home and celebrate, but I pro'lly got carried away and bought too many ingredients.)

(Well, not that I need to worry about leftovers when Niki's right there.)

(I gotta get back quick and let Niki—… Hm? That guy over there is…)

Hajime Shino-kun from Ra*bits, ain't it?

Hajime: Amagi-senpai? Hello~

Rinne: He~ya. Thrillin' to know that you remember this li'l ol' me's name.

So, what're ya hidin’ in the grass for? Up to somethin’ sneaky?

Are you buryin’ treasure or somethin'? Ya look like a little puppy digging like that~

Hajime: Oh, no. I just came to pick these up.

Rinne: Huh. Your bag has…some leaves and grass?

Hajime: That's right! I got quite a lot of them ♪

Rinne: Pickin' up wild grass, huh… Why?

Hajime: ? I'm going to eat them, of course?

Rinne: ………Ah, I got it. I can see what you're up to now.

That's for a TV show, isn't it? You should've told me earlier~

Hajime: Oh, this isn't for TV though? It's just that I got a craving for it since it's been a while since I ate these so I went here and got some.

Rinne: ………………

(From what I remember, aren't Ra*bits supposed to be a popular unit?)

(Well, not as much as UNDEAD or Akatsuki from the same agency but… each member seems to be goin’ strong in their own way, right?)

(So to see him here picking up grass like this… Never thought they're in deep shit that they can't even properly keep their stomachs full.)

'S that so? But ain't Seisoukan fully stocked with food? There's also lots of snacks in the ES break room, yeah?

If you're havin' trouble finding something to eat, ain't those better places to search in?

If anyone sees their precious idol foraging for grass in a place like this, that's not really a good look with the public, y'know?

Hajime: Trouble finding something to eat…?

Ah, no! You've got it wrong! I'm not gathering grass like this because I'm having trouble with money!

When I got on the phone with my family, we happened to talk about how we used to eat grass a lot when I was younger.

And then I just suddenly craved that nostalgic taste so I came here to pick these up. I normally eat properly, so please don't worry that much about it~

Rinne: Oh, so that's it? You made me uncharacteristically nervous for a sec there.

Hajime: I'm sorry for making you worry.

Rinne: Nah, don't mind it. My fault for jumpin' to conclusions so fast.

In fact, those grass growin' out there are delicious too. I also used to forage for them back when I was a li'l boy so I get ya, Hajime-kun.

I even used to go to the mountains to pick up some edible wild plants.

Thanks to that, I got some basic stuff down when it comes to edible grass. This one and this one can be eaten. This one's not. This one's edible too, but it's not really good.

Hajime: Wow! You didn't miss any! You're really knowledgeable about them!

Rinne: Hehe, told ya right? This ol' me won't ever lie ♪

This one's tasty if you blanch it a little. And this one's something that only Niki could munch on.

Hajime: Huh?! Shiina-senpai can eat this? I had an upset stomach when I ate this one by mistake.

Rinne: Yeah, same here. After eating it, I felt like dyin' the next day—couldn't move at all. But that guy's all fine and dandy.

Maybe it's got somethin' that only his stomach can digest. He's the one who cooked it, after all.

Hajime: Shiina-senpai is really good with cooking, isn't he? ♪

Rinne: Yeah. That guy's real good with his hands when it comes to food. Everything he makes is delicious. When I get home, I'll have him cook for me; that's why I got a lot of stuff here with me.

Hajime: Oh, that's indeed a lot. Let's see… Cheese, ketchup… There's also salami and basil… Are you planning to make pizza?

Rinne: Spot on ♪ Niki's pizza's always bangin', y'know? I end up eating too much if I don't watch it.

Hajime: Fufu, that's wonderful! Are you celebrating something today?

Rinne: Celebrating? No, not really…

Hajime: Huh? Is it okay to eat pizza on a normal day?

Back in my home, I was taught that pizza is a treat that you only eat on special occasions.

Rinne: Oh, is it now?

My bad, my bad. You're right, Hajime-kun. Of course, today is a special day~

And it's somethin' so important that we can't ever, ever forget about! None other than President Pizza's birthday!

Hajime: President Pizza's birthday?! I never knew about the existence of someone that great!

Rinne: You don't know him, Hajime-kun?! Man, that's really, really bad.

Hajime: W-What's wrong with it…?

Rinne: When it's President Pizza's birthday, everyone's gotta feast on some pizza.

If you only knew about it today, then I guess Hajime-kun never got to eat anything these past years, huh…

If that's the case, then it ain't good if you don't eat all those years' lost servings of pizza…

Hajime: All those years' lost servings of pizza… Are you saying that I should eat 17 years' worth of them?!

Rinne: Ah, then what I have here won't be enough. I gotta get back and grab some more ingredients, huh…

Hajime: I can't possibly eat that much!

Can't you do something to help me?! If I eat that much pizza, I'll end up hating it!

Rinne: Pfft… Ha…

Kyahahaha! Your reaction's takin' me out, Hajime-kun!

Hajime: This isn't a laughing matter! Uuu~ what am I supposed to do now?

Rinne: Don't ya worry your pretty li'l head. I was just messin' with you. That's a lie.

Hajime: A lie..? From which point was it a lie?

Rinne: Everything startin' from President Pizza's birthday.

Hajime: So, uhm… I don't have to stuff myself full of pizza until my stomach explodes?

Rinne: Yup. President Pizza doesn't exist.

Hajime: T-Thank god…

Rinne: I didn't expect you'd just take all of that without even questioning me.

You gotta put it in your head to suspect people a little more from now on, 'kay? Shino "Majime"-kun~ ♪ [1]

Hajime: Geez, you're so mean to deceive me like that, Amagi-senpai! You really scared me back there!

Rinne: Come on, sorry for bein' like that~

Oh, got it. As an apology for messin' with ya, lemme treat you to some pizza.

Hajime: …Are you sure you're not lying this time?

Rinne: Kyahahaha! Talk about a fast learner! Ya immediately got on your toes and suspected me! You take things so seriously. You really are Majime-kun, huh?

Hajime: M-My name is "Hajime"!

Rinne: Yessir~ Come on, let's bounce back home and have a feast! ♪

And while we're at it, let's use those grass you picked and make some wild grass pizza!

Hajime: W-Wah, please don't just drag me around, Amagi-senpai!

-----------

Translation: Sophie

Proofreading: Ara

NOTES:

[1] “Majime” / まじめ = lit. means as a person who’s earnestly sincere and honest, and therefore takes things seriously at its face value. It’s a syllable off Hajime’s name, which makes it funnier given how Rinne has a penchant for giving silly nicknames to people he encounters.

Also can I just point out how Hiiro, who’s actually Hajime’s classmate and therefore theoretically closer to him, calls him “Shino-kun” (last name) while Rinne calls him “Hajime-kun” (first name) right off the bat. I just think his shamelessness is hilarious LOL

[rebeccathenaturalist]

The most salient point to me in all this is that he used an unnamed ID app to try to figure out what mushrooms he found because he thought "Man those look good." The app misidentified the mushrooms as edible puffballs, but in reality they were destroying angels (Amanita ocreata). One is enough to kill an adult, and this person ate four of them. He's very, very lucky to be alive.

This is far from the first time someone put their entire faith in a single app to tell them what mushroom they were looking at, and then they paid the price with their health. You're going to hear me say this again and again: never, ever, ever use an app as your only tool for identifying anything, especially if you're planning to eat it. An app can be useful in conjunction with other tools like books, websites, online foraging groups, etc. But apps are frequently wrong, and are not the easy answer many people seem to want them to be.

(Rant about foraging below the cut.)

This right here is why I spend a decent amount of time in my foraging classes trying to scare the hell out of my students. I want them to understand the risks, not just as a brief aside, but as anecdotes I've collected from the news over the years like this one. I have had more than one person say afterward "Wow, I had a really romanticized view of foraging, and now I'm going to be more careful." That's a clue to me that I've done my job.

It's why my classes are SO focused on identification skills and tools to make you a more informed and careful forager. I am not going to just spend a bunch of time showing you slides of all sorts of edible species, with a little bit of information on how to identify and collect them tucked in before or after. Yes, we do look at some beginner-friendly species near the end of the class, but if all you want to get out of a foraging class is names and pictures of edible plants or fungi, that's what field guides are for. I spend the bulk of the time doing my absolute best to make sure people are PREPARED to go out and use their observational and critical thinking skills when assessing a new-to-them species, to include making use of many different types of resource, not just a single app.

I have literally had people complain that we spent too much time on "boring" stuff, and not enough on the edible species themselves---aaaaaand I don't care. My goal is to try as hard as I can to make sure incidents like the article above don't happen in the first place, which is going to take more than a couple of hours of looking at pretty pictures of mushrooms. Sure, sometimes all you get is a night of bad indigestion, but if you get one of the really nasty species full of amatoxins, you can die. Or end up with permanent liver and/or kidney damage. Or need an organ transplant.

And yes, as I said, you will get information on some species that I think are relatively beginner-friendly because they're distinctive AND they don't have any really serious poisonous lookalikes. But puffballs aren't on that list, and this article is a perfect example of why.

[tomorrowsgardennc]

market update // september 28th 2024

before market 👉 after market

another slow day. this time was because a lot of regular customers did come by to say hi, but that they were out of power after 2r hours from the hurricane so they were honest and said they just were there to get out of the house and not buying. when 3 different customers say that... then you know that's probably multiplied by at least 3. a lot of window shoppers overall at the market, not just me. about half the farmers didn't show up either because of storm damage. me myself and my hubs kitties and house are completely fine, but it was significantly worse south and west of us. and guess where most of the farmers are located 🫠

if there is ever any severe damage of any natural causes, they need your support then more than ever. they always need your support... but only the cash crop farmers are eligible for compensation loss from the USDA. the farmers at your local market are not eligible. support them.

look at me, right at the very end. all my neighbors still setting up. the main market is right around the corner to the right. this is considered the back entrance so there is still traffic, but nowhere near as much as the main entrance.

my sun tarp that kept attacking me when it was windy the other week didn't make it through the storm, so i spent about half the market taking refuge in the shade. i hung out with another plant vendor for a bit. i was telling her about my perennial flower garden, and i did already get spanish lavender from her. going to get more next time she's at market. she said spanish lavender is the easiest to grow - especially in these parts - but the flower heads don't look like the stereotypical lavender flower so a lot of people don't want it. i don't care, i want the bees to care! but she's wonderful, sells only herb transplants. she recommended a few more flower perennials for me... i forgot ehat they were but she said she got them so that's why i didn't bother remembering because i said SOLD and i'll get them from her later 😅 i'll tell y'all what they are when i get them.

my sun tarp didn't make it, but my seed banner only got slightly frayed! easily fixable, fix it later.

question of the day!! this applies to everyone, but this farmers market offers a special deal. if you have SNAPs, or food stamps...

seeds are covered by SNAPs!!

now, home depot or other large hardware stores won't accept SNAP cards because they don't sell food as their main source of income (well, customers aren't their main source of income but that's another post for another day). Those stores won't invest in accepting SNAPs to a "small" customer base. BUT!! Walmart, Target... other stores where they have groceries and a few seeds in the spring will accept SNAPs for vegetable and herb seeds. if it turns into something edible, it is covered by SNAPs:

✨️ the more you know ✨️ a couple of customers were surprised and got a lot of seeds after they learned that. me, personally, my goal is to eventually accept SNAPs on my website for selling seeds. it costs a lot of money to do so....... but it is still a high priority. for now, I can accept farmers' market tokens for the seeds.

close up of seeds. seeds. seed seed seed seeds. appreciate the seeds.

kid wave back count: 1 out of 1. not too many kids today, surprisingly, but the one i waved at waved back. 100% wave back rate, let's gooooo.

[esoteric-chaos]

Ferns - The Mundane and Magical 101

Working with my local land more has taught me to source local plants and connect with them. By properly taking care of it and working the land. That also means connecting with local plant spirits.

The Fern is one of those species of plants. This wonderful herb is abundant, protective and hold much wisdom for they are very old. With some dating back to 360 million years (or so they say). It is known some species can live up to a hundred years.

They are full of wisdom, you might just learn something from them if you actively work with them as a spirit.

Scientific Name:

Family: Pteridophyte

Parts used: For species of Fern it varies

Planet: Mercury

Element: Air

CAUTIONS: ALWAYS check with your local herbalist and doctor before consuming any medicinal medicine as they will be able to direct you on proper dosages. Some medications can also interact and so can some conditions with certain herbs.

IMPORTANT: Some Ferns are harmful (like the Pteridium genus aka Bracken Fern) to the airways and can let off spores that can harm or cause death in immunocompromised people. Always be wary of Fern species around pets as well. Source and research responsibly.

Uses in Herbalism and Healing:

Certain Fern species are used to treat different ailments. Ex. Sensitive Fern (Onoclea sensibilis) used for arthritis while Maidenhair Speenwort (Asplenium tricomanes) is used for coughs.

Always check which fern species is used as some can counteract and aren't always used for the same ailment.

On a fun note, Fiddlehead Ferns are used from a culinary standpoint and are quite delicious when prepared correctly.

Uses in Magic:

When placed in the home, it is said to hold protective properties, and when planted at the doorstep.

Dried Fern, when burned, carries exorcism properties.

Some folklore speaks that when Fern is burned outside, it causes rainfall.

When carried or worn, Fern has the power to guide to treasure.

Some Celtic and Irish legends speak of Ferns being used in from healing to magic.

A Slavic folk tale speaks of a flower on a fern that blooms for a very short time on the eve of the summer solstice. It is said it brings fortune to the person who finds it. In some tales, it allows humans to understand animals talking. It is guarded by malevolent entities. Though the one who succeeds in gathering it can receive earthly riches, that attainment has always brought unlucky energy to the poor soul, so some leave it alone.

Recipes:

A very yummy recipe using Fiddlehead ferns. Check it out!

Sources and extra reading material:

Please remember while I provide sources, some content is my own UPG from working for years intuitively with this herbal ally. What you do not see from my sources assume it is my UPG and take what information you will. Always cross-reference and research yourself. All medical knowledge will be sourced.

Medical Links:

Cao, H., Chai, T., Wang, X., B. Morais-Braga, M. F., Yang, H., Wong, C., Wang, R., Yao, H., Cao, J., Cornara, L., Burlando, B., Wang, Y., Xiao, J., & M. Coutinho, H. D. (2017). Phytochemicals from fern species: Potential for medicine applications. Phytochemistry Reviews, 16(3), 379-440. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11101-016-9488-7

Spiritual:

Books:

Cunningham's Encyclopedia of Magical Herbs by Scott Cunningham

Links:

Want to check out my other posts? Here’s the Masterpost

[script-a-world]

Submitted via Google Form:

Does it make any sense to have a world that is entirely vegan because other animals are actually all extinct. You might think with no other animals, this be a world where cannibalistic practices occur more. Well, I never really thought of it because it's that's just nasty. But what would be realistic here? Sure, it may occur as an extreme survival method. But it shouldn't be a normal practice and condemned in every other way. But does make actually make sense in this world with animals going extinct? They do have excellent crops and plenty of ways of getting food. There is no issue with having adequate food supply except for impoverished places. And just like impoverished places in real life, people aren't just resorting to cannibalism as normal. Alright so... for a world with no more animals in its ecosystem... well, how is that even like?? Actually, why is this world even restricted to a planet? There would probably be a lot of people living on moons with no native life and space stations.

Addy: I'm in the middle of finals right now (is it okay to include that? Idk), so you're getting some straight-from-the-tap unpolished thoughts.

Are there insects? 'Cause if this is a post-extinction event, then you've got a whole issue of like... plants that used to be pollinated by insects (beetles, bees, moths, butterflies, ants, etc), birds, etc but now have to be pollinated by wind (which is way less efficient, so you'd probably get stuff that's like cedars or oak trees, where there's just pollen *everywhere*, and other stuff would at least have more difficulty surviving). And then there's... everything. The balance between plants, insects, etc, *everything* is very nuanced. This feels like it'd become the lawn garden equivalent of an ecosystem - alive, but not thriving. Like a garden laden with pesticides, you just... wouldn't get good growth, and that'd spur on its own set of issues.

Plus like. Grazing. Grazing is a huuuuge influence on grasslands, etc, so the removal of all herbivores would... man. That'd do a lot. I don't know if you could even *have* a grassland under this system. Like without grazing, the accumulation of plant matter + wildfire ecology (lightning strikes and all that) would mean huge blazes that would sterilize the soil. Instead of grassland growing back, you'd get like saplings driven on the wind or whatever. Probably.

(Something something Yellowstone when they brought the wolves back, every piece has a role to play)

If there *are* insects, then that'd have its own set of massive issues. Great Famine of China/Great Leap Forward kinds of issues. Like wow. Also insect predation on trees, that'd spur another wave of problems.... everything would be effected. Everything.

If you're on a space station, it's generally assumed that plants are being grown in a tightly controlled artificial environment. Humidity, "rain," light, nutrients, all of that under human (or at least sentient/sophont) control. It isn't expected to be a natural, thriving environment, and it's fairly small-scale. If you have some sort of space garden, it's generally either only plants or plants + some insects + small wildlife. A whole planet... man. Honestly a terrifying thought.

(You thought Silent Spring was bad)

(This is so much worse)

Also, what about fish? Is the whole ocean totally sterile? Are there even krill (or local equivalent)? Phytoplankton, I assume, would be around (also there's a scary thought about like the whole oxygen cycle wow), but... this is just a terrifying prospect for a world.

Oh, and coral! That's an animal, technically. Not really an edible one, but an animal nonetheless. Snails? Jellyfish? Detritivores? Anything to filter the water?

We have no reference for what this would look like. If they want to make a world like this, I'd say the best bet would be to imagine a world sanitized by fire and war and death and ecological omnicide and who-knows-what. Then, on the barren remains of the world-that-was, put a sentient/sophont species with a seed bank. Fern spores. Pollen and sprouts. Some great record of a sliver of the majesty that once was.

In the dust-filled deathworld, this remnant husk of what was once an emerald jewel, there is a structure, and in that structure, there is a person. They have a plot, they have nitrates, they have ammonium, they have potassium, they have phosphorus. They may have mycorrhize, if they're lucky. In that plot, they have a plant. Maybe a few. They save it all for replanting and propagation, and subsist off of freeze-dried rations made before the Happening. They are lucky to be alive.

The world outside is barren. There is nothing to hold together the topsoil. Anything that once was there has rotted and blown away (yay bacteria)(unless those are dead too). The Dust Bowl, on a scale of a world. The Sahara, in comparison, would be a fertile haven of life.

Recovery is slow. Plants, as they grow under the sheltered eye of humanity, decompose once again, cycling through generations as they build up organic matter, thick and lush and *whole*(it can never be whole, too much has been lost, the world will never, ever be the same). The structure expands. Nothing built before the Happening is sealed tightly enough to keep out the dust, microscopic in size as it is.

Coastal regions get some amount of moisture, from the fetid winds that blow off the heaving corpse-lungs of the ocean. Without zooplankton and other organisms to manage the growth of phytoplankton and algae, it is trapped in a cycle of explosion and eutrophication. Life survives in the deepest depths of the oceans, some think, though it, too, may be dead, suffocated by lack of oxygen. Without mollusks or corals or jellyfish or anything to filter the water, the upper layers are thick with rotting plant matter. Some of it sinks, some of it floats. It becomes nutritional matter for the next growth explosion, and that, too, will rot.

A garden is made, sheltered to the extent that it can be. Carefully-selected plants take root in the mulch of their ancestors. Rain is strange and violent, heaved against mountains by wind currents, which themselves are driven by the vast temperature differences of the unevenly-heated planet. There is no friction upon the ground to slow it down, excepting the husks of once-grand cities and their slowly-falling towers. Floods are frequent, in the places that do get rain. Drought prevails elsewhere. Even when rain falls, there is nothing to receive it but silt and clay and stone (and a few spare bacteria). Murky streams of water wind their way to the ocean. Inch by inch, plants come back. Nature will not return for a hundred million years. Until then, until some random quirk of genetics pushes organisms from microbial to sizable, who knows what will happen? If we are lucky, lichens and mosses remain in the great vault of humanity. If we are unlucky, every inch of un-desertification will take holes and effort and windbreaks and labor.

Basically the world kinda needs animals, at least through our understanding of it. Continents are big, and life as we know it has evolved in a web of give and take, push and pull, supply and demand. Without one half of that equation, it is a fundamentally different setup. Maybe algaes can be stable. Maybe they can't. I don't really know. I'd recommend looking into the hows-and-whys-and-whats of various extinction periods in Earth's history to get a better idea of how things happen. It won't capture a picture of what life without animals could look like, but hey, it's something.

Also, cannibalism (at least in humans) is generally only seen as a desperate measure for survival. Prion diseases are a genuine risk, along with whatever else may have killed the person. With how many plagues (and other afflictions) humans can carry, eating a dead person generally isn't worth the risk. Also also, human brains take a lot of protein. That can be obtained through non-animal needs, but it's less efficient (in terms of digestibility and protein density, not in terms of overall energy transformation efficiency of sunshine -> meal). If famine ever hits, a plant-only diet is far more vulnerable to starvation (in times of famine, fish have saved lives).

[valkyrieromanoff]

PIZZA TIME: ANAKIN SKYWALKER X READER

synopsis: you and Anakin decide to cook together, but the problem is that neither of you know what you're doing.

warning: fluffy

words: 644

a/n: it had been a while since I wrote anything about Anakin,I was left with an inspiration hangover. But this idea came to me when I was rewatching Little Italy. I know it’s short, but I hope you like it ;)

“Are you sure this is how it’s done?” You asked, frowning, looking at what should have been the pizza dough, but looked more like a gooey mess.

“Maybe if we add a little more flour, we can reach the point.” Anakin suggested, taking the bag of flour and turning some into the bowl, the white powder scattering across the table as he stuck his hands back into the dough with the intention of shaping it.

You looked at the mixture biting your lip, looking for your datapad to check the recipe. It seemed simple, at first you thought it would be a fun way to pass the time, cooking as a couple's hobby, but things started to go wrong, when you didn't have all the ingredients in the fridge, and Anakin decided to innovate, making some adaptations. And it was these and other adaptations that led to this pizza dough that did not gain consistency, no matter how many cups of flour were added.

Anakin sighs in frustration as the 'pizza dough' refuses to cooperate, looking more like floury sludge than anything edible. He wipes his flour-coated hands on his already stained tunic, running a hand through his equally messy blond locks.

"This cooking thing is more difficult than battling droids," he grumbles, giving the bowl an experimental stir. More flour wafts up, dusting his face and the surrounding surfaces.

You stifle a giggle at his disheveled appearance, unable to resist planting a kiss on his powdery cheek. "We'll figure it out, my love. Maybe we were too ambitious starting with pizza," you offer gently.

Anakin glances down at the recipe on his datapad, still futilely attempting to decipher the instructions. "This is why I rely on you for the thinking. My expertise lies elsewhere," he teases with a wink.

"What if we use ready-made pizza dough? Then we just need to make the topping?" You suggested, remembering that there was a package of pizza dough lost in the fridge.

Anakin taps his chin thoughtfully, dusting more flour onto the floor as he considers your suggestion.

"There you go again, solving problems with that brilliant mind of yours," he says proudly, kissing your forehead. "Ready-made dough—why didn't I think of that?"

Wiping his hands, Anakin eagerly rummages through the disorganized fridge. "Now where did I see that package..."

A triumphant "Aha!" echoes as he emerges holding the dough aloft like a trophy. Ripping it open, he breathes a sigh of relief seeing its pliable texture.

"Let's get cooking," he says with renewed enthusiasm. As you prep the toppings, Anakin preheats the oven, wiping down the baking sheet.

You stare at the dough in surprise and amusement, taking in Anakin's handiwork. Though crooked and imperfect, the heart shape is unmistakable.

"Well, I'll admit shapes aren't my specialty," Anakin shrugs with a boyish grin. "But I thought a heart would be fitting, considering." He squeezes your waist affectionately.

Warmth blooms in your chest at his tender gesture. Despite all he's seen, he somehow maintains an earnest romanticism that continually draws you in.

"It's perfect," you assure him gently. "Everything you do, no matter how questionable the execution, always comes from here." You place a palm over his heart.

Anakin's eyes soften, embracing you in a lingering kiss. You pour all your care, acceptance and affection into it, leaving him smiling happily when you part.

"Now come, before our dough gets weird. The toppings await!" He winks and you get to work, sneaking soft looks and smiles throughout the process.

Though skills in the kitchen may need honing, here in privacy you each demonstrate a deep caring that nourishes body and soul alike. For you, these moments together are as delicious and fulfilling as any meal could be.

Your love, like Anakin's heart-shaped dough, may be imperfect but runs unfathomably deep. And that is more than enough.

[cyanidesymphoniesxylophones]

HASO but aliens find out that some humans are mithraditic

Mithraditism, by definition and simplified, is immunity to poison.

"Aaret, have you seen my potato plants?" Human Olivia asked her alien crewmate, as she looked around the greenhouse.

"It seems human Xy has taken them a while ago and replaced then around sector E3 afterwards. Is something the matter?"

"There's a lot of matters. Those plants were flowering, and Xy likes eating the flowers."

"? Pardon, but aren't potatoes edible?"

"If you count the greeneries and the flowers as edible, you'd be as good as if you ate the rotsack seed fresh and undiluted."

"What?! Then shouldn't we stop--?!" Aaret was stopped by the sight of the Human Xy in question, walking in with a handful of fried flowers, and a platter of fried potato. "Made snacks. Want some?"

"Human Xy, you musn't ingest those flowers!" Aaret's voice coming out of their two mouths was rising due to concern. "They're highly toxic!"

"... So is your cuisine to normal humans, Aaret. Have I refused your food ever?" Xy chuckled.

"See, 'Ret, Xy can eat whatever he wants. He's mithraditic."

"What's that?! Some sort of... Genetic mutation that allows humans to just not be poisoned?!"

"Yes and no. It's eating enough poison to not be affected by it."

"WHAT?!" Aaret was shocked by very little things, but every new thing they learned about humans just took off the calm face they had.

"Remember the tha-kari you use to cook, Aaret? Why around a day or two's worth disappeared?"

"I-I chalked it up to vermin from my homeworld."

"Well, Xy's legally classified as a vermin from your homeworld then. That's why he was sick for half a day." Olivia sighed.

"Listen, new encounters, new food. And speaking of, eat up, Liv. I promise there's no funny business in the fries."

"You used up 5 of my plants to snack. I'm taking your next salary."

Aaret has never seen Xy distressed until his food money gets threatened. Humans are... Strange.