#like what if she thought his power was sexy and had to come to terms with it huh

[idreamtofmanderleyagain]

In retrospect I wonder if OUAT had like, a huge fundie/conservative white mom audience and that's why it was Like That and Rumbelle turned out the way it did

[ammoniteblue]

Not a Hero, Just an Author (p.2)

kenji sato x reader

Her latest novel a flop, Y/N is starting to worry she wasn’t meant to be an author. She’s 24, lives alone and most of her college friends are either married or in more traditional jobs. she feels like she’s being left behind. That is until a charming baseball player finds his way into her life and shows Y/N that it takes more than talent to be a star.

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

At first the baseball card was left on your bedside table. But as you realised that night, after getting back from Mr. Ozami’s Ramen Shop, you couldn’t sleep with it so close to you. If you opened an eye you’d see it, sitting there atop the table. Then all thoughts of sleep evaded you. It was almost impossible not replay the events of the night over and over in you mind.

Kenji. His easy grin. The way his jacket hung just right off his shoulders.

so like any coward, you hid it. Pushed into a drawer crammed full of notebooks and stray pieces of paper. You left it there in your office, hidden within your desk and finally managed to sleep.

For two days the card sat in that drawer, hidden, out of sight out of mind.

Why an ordinary schmuck like you wasn’t jumping at the chance to call a legendary athlete like Kenji Sato you would never know. A million girls would kill to have his number and yet you….you couldn’t even bare to look at it.

But why ?

For those two days you did nothing but watch old reruns of his games. Ones of him in America, playing for the LA Dodgers, all dressed up in white and blue. He wore that same easy going smirk when he played too. Like he knew no matter what that he’d win.

Something in your keened for that kind of confidence. Most people would be jealous of Kenji for his wealth, his fame….his good looks. Not you. what you wanted was his confidence. how, when millions of people were watching him, did he look so carefree ?

Kenji was right. Maybe he’d just make a baseball fan out of you yet. When watching his reruns got boring you changed to interviews. They were always solo, usually him and some pretty female reporter.

A nasty green feeling curled up in your stomach as you watched the way he chuckled and smiled, tilting his head in an easy but flirty manner.

Arrogant asshole. Stupidly hot arrogant asshole.

On the second night your older sister called. she never rang your phone, always the landline. nobody ever used it and most of the time you forgot it was there until Ami rang for your weekly catch up.

She didn’t live far, only thirty minutes on the metro, but with her full time job as a reporter and status as a single mum she was usually busy. Of course you went over to help whenever you could, but lately you’d been avoiding her and therefore Chiho too.

You couldn’t admit to your powerhouse big sister, who had it all, that your book had been a flop. that you and Sana were desperately trying to secure a movie or tv show deal in hopes of recuperating your losses.

Yes a show or movie would put you on the map, give you the status of a serious author, but it would also mean some hollywood exec tearing your baby apart and turning it into some dark, sexy CW series.

Your heartwarming story of a boy’s struggles through adulthood, as he comes to terms with his new powers and what they mean, made into the next Riverdale. You’d rather die.

Oh the shame.

“Y/N you need to call back mum, she’s worried about you.” Immediately Ami is hounding you over the phone.

with a sigh you respond, “yes Ami, it’s nice to hear from you too.”

“we’re just worried about you. lately you’ve been so distant. we miss you. Chiho misses you, she keeps asking where her auntie is.” Her words cut straight to your heart.

A pang of guilt hits your stomach as you imagine Chiho’s sad wide eyes asking where you are. That was a dirty move on Ami’s side.

“Things are just…” you scramble for an excuse, “busy. yeah i’ve got some book stuff and…..and there’s this guy.”

wait what ? why the fuck did you say that ?

“a guy ?” your sister asked.

oh shit well no going back now.

“um yeah a guy. he’s nice ?” you almost sounded questioning.

there was a pause before Ami made a sound of excitement.

“That’s amazing Y/N ! i’m so happy for you. you’ve got to bring him over, mum would love to meet him. we all would.”

you knew that was code for “as your big sis i need to vet this guy and make sure he’s good enough for you”.

two minutes later and you found yourself promising to bring this mystery guy over soon along with returning your mums anxious calls.

“we love you Y/N, please don’t forget that.”

After she hung up you sat there for a minute. It was dark out and if not for the light from the TV the living room would’ve been submerged in complete darkness. Another interview was playing, an old one. Kenji couldn’t have been older than 20. A college graduate recruited to play baseball full time. He looked so happy, the kind of energy only young people have. when they’re still full of hope, before the world has smashed it into pieces.

once upon a time you looked like that. maybe in those weeks just after your first book deal. fresh out of university and the promise of bright career in writing.

As you watched him, you replayed the conversation with your sister over in your head. she’d sounded so worried. they both did, her and mum. something had to change. you needed to do something, anything to fix this funk you’d fallen into.

maybe that’s why you walked out of the living room and into your study.

The desk drawer slid open easily and inside the baseball card gleamed up at you. You reached in, picked it up and then grabbed your phone from your back pocket.

Ten digits later, your phone rang and after several seconds of intense silence there was a voice.

“Hey Kenji speaking.” It was him, really him. “umm hello ? if this is that guy from the gossip magazine then please f-“

“It’s the girl from the ramen shop, Mr. Ozami’s.” You quickly interrupt.

Kenji goes silent, the threat dying on his tongue.

“Oh.” Is all he says.

“Yeah.” you mumble in response.

Theres another awkward silence.

“So…” He starts

“So…” You repeat.

For an international heartthrob, Kenji Sato is surprinsgly not that smooth. Just like you he’s unsure of what to say, and for the first time the baseball icon seems a little human to you. it’s what gives you the confidence to speak first.

“I watched some of your games.” You try, unable to fight the heat rushing to your cheeks.

was that weird ? was admitting you’d watched him play weird ?

There’s a laugh over the phone that puts all your worries to rest.

“Really ? i thought you said you didn’t like baseball ?” He asks, amused.

“Oh i still don’t, but i wanted to see what all the fuss was about.” You respond boldly, almost flirty.

“And ?” He prompts.

from over the phone you can hear the smirk in his voice.

“And i thought you were pretty good.” You can’t help the smile that pulls at your mouth as he makes an unbecoming noise.

“pretty good ? i think you mean the best babe.”

oh. OH.

Suddenly the pyjamas you’re wearing felt too tight, too hot. you slipped off the couch and padded over to a window, opening it to let in a fresh night breeze.

“I-I mean,” you try to school your voice, “sure you’re good but the best ? that might be a stretch.”

Oh good lord why did you say that ? Why was your go to defence insults ?

“Well if you need some proof why don’t you come to a game ?” His proposition catches you completely off guard.

“a game ?” you’d never been to a baseball game.

how much were the tickets ? You weren’t exactly very liquid right now. yes the advance on your latest book had been quite a lot but with it not hitting its sale targets you’d had to make a few setbacks. no excessive shopping, no eating out - Mr. Ozami’s was an exception - no travelling. A baseball game sounded expensive. could you afford the tickets ?

“Yeah, i’ll send you a ticket,” and then cockily adds, “don’t worry i’ll make sure you have a good view.”

You breath out a small laugh. It was a tempting offer. A free ticket, the chance to experience something new and watch cute men run around a field in tight pants. What was not to like. Maybe this was what you needed to get you out of that funk.

“Okay,” you found yourself responding, “that would be nice. thank you.”

there’s a chuckle over the phone and like that you figure the call is coming to an end until Kenji adds:

“But on one condition.”

So close.

“What’s that ?” You try to sound normal.

“You let me take you out.”

three days later

The new Tokyo Stadium was a magnificent piece of architecture. it had only opened a few months ago but you’d yet to see it. with a book tour and signings and fan events you hadn’t had the time to walk around the city like you used to.

Dressed up in your nicest pair of jeans and a Giants jersey you’d bought just for this game, you joined the back of one of the ticket booth queues.

Kenji had sent you an E-ticket right after your call. since then whenever you went onto your phone you’d checked to see if it was still there. the sight of it was a confirmation that this was real. the Kenji Sato had not only given you his number, invited you to a game but had asked you out on a date. you turning up to this was basically confirmation that yes you wanted to go.

A date with Kenji Sato.

What was happening to your life.

Since that night you’d itched to call your sister, to tell her what was going on. But you couldn’t. Ami was so practical, she followed her head over her heart. if she found out she would tell you to drop it. that Kenji Sato was a known flirt who was scared of commitment and would leave you high and dry. He wasn’t the dating type. Not at least according to the hundreds of magazines and articles you’d spent the last few days reading.

it was all there. his long, slightly hazardous, dating history. models and musicians. beautiful women with no body fat and immaculate skin. the kinds of girls that you see online or in magazines. you couldn’t be further from them.

What on earth did Kenji Sato see in you ? A small time author with a minor online following and, according to one very cruel article in the Tokyo Post, a dying career.

Ami would tell you to quit while you’re ahead, before you’ve gone on a date with this guy and inevitably let him charm you into submission.

But Ami wasn’t here and you were in too deep now.

The lady at the ticket booth scanned your ticket and then you were in. it was unlike anything you’d ever seen. The stadium rippled with noise. hundreds of thousands of fans filled it, filing into seats, calling out for hot dogs and beers from the uriko girls.

like you many people wore Giants jerseys. Children and women and men. some had orange face paint strewn across their cheeks.

suddenly you felt less self conscious about the jersey you were wearing. nobody would glance at you and think you’d never been to a game before let alone not know a thing about the sport or rules.

it took you a while to find your seat. you walked further and further into the stadium, eyes scanning the rows for the letter A. it wasn’t till you were right at the front that you found it. to your surprise, your seat was just above the dugout, giving you a clear view of the home plate.

not only had Kenji Sato bought you a ticket, he’d bought you maybe one of the best seats in the whole place.

There was a buzz in your back pocket. you reached for your phone.

enjoy the show

Kenji.

As you stated at the message, biting back a grin, a sudden chorus of cheers shook the stadium. around you people had jumped to their feet, hoisting posters and foam fingers high into the air. the people next to you, a little girl and her mum, were jumping up and down in excitement. the little girl held a poster in her hands and with one quick glance you realised it was of Kenji.

You turned to look at the field and suddenly it made sense. There waltzing up to the home plate was the man himself.

Kenji Sato.

His white jersey gleamed in the midday sun. the number seven printed on the back in big block lettering. a baseball bat hung almost carelessly in his left hand. you were sure that under that helmet he was wearing the most obnoxious grin possible.

The Kenji Sato show was live.

As he strolled up to the home plate, he turned to wave at the crowds. what a showboater. it worked though. another round of cheers rippled through the crowds, so loud it almost made you wince. the little girl was nearly crying with excitement next to you.

You cheered along too, a little unsure of yourself. it wasn’t like you’d ever done this before. Then to your absolute horror, Kenji Sato glanced across the crowd until he locked eyes with you.

Had he been looking for you ?

He must have, because as soon as he saw you his grin grew even bigger. a look of absolute smugness. He gave you a once over, something unmistakable flashing across his face as he saw the jersey you were wearing. it had been a coincidence, you picking out the number seven jersey. Until now you hadn’t realised it was his jersey. did he think you’d done it on purpose ?

Oh my god he did.

There was a self assured smirk on his face as he gave you one last look before turning to batter up. An almost unnatural silence fell over the stadium. everyone waited with baited breath, about to witness for the first time Kenji Sato batting in the Japanese League.

The pitcher swung his arm back and the ball sailed through the air.

To your surprise and everybody else’s Kenji missed. The ball went square into the catcher’s mitt. You’d watched enough of his games to know Kenji rarely missed a ball. maybe it was nerves ? His first game on a new team, in a new country. anyone would be nervous. But then he missed the second time and from your seat you could catch the way his hand flew to his shoulder, as if in pain.

Then the catcher said something, what exactly you couldn’t hear. But judging by Kenji’s reaction it wasn’t anything good. You watched with wide eyes as the batter levelled up to the catcher, his bat almost held like a weapon. The pair were almost chest to chest until the umpire stepped in. there was a final heated exchange before Kenji returned to bat. Then to everyone’s surprise he swapped sides, changing to his right hand to bat.

A series of quiet murmurs, sceptical and surpised words, rippled through the crowds. Did this not happen often ? You weren’t entirely sure what was going on. But judging by the confused looks around you Kenji was about to do something unprecedented in baseball.

All you could do was watch as the pitcher made his final throw. the ball flew through the air. the silence had never been thicker, and then with a speed so intense you nearly missed it, Kenji swung the bat back. there was contact. an almost cracking sound and the ball was sent soaring into the opposite direction.

the crowd roared with approval. the noise shook the stadium and to your surprise you found yourself up on your feet cheering along with them.

“Go Kenji !” You cried, almost jumping up and down as he ran each base.

A victorious grin had broken out on his face, and as he returned to home base he glanced up at you. Suddenly you felt self conscious stood there, hands in the air your cheeks flushed. But then he winked at you and something electric and light and fluttering soared through your chest.

He was incredible.

And then the Kaiju appeared.

is she the queen of cliffhangers or what ?? stay tuned for part three !! also if people are confused about why the reader seems to contradict herself a lot it’s meant to show how she’s an unreliable narrator, and like can’t see that she’s doing better than she thinks.

[madridfangirl]

Star crossed lovers (Jude Bellingham fic)

Chapter 9

(Series Link)

Jude * female reader. Mature Language in parts.

Synopsis: A chance encounter in a tiny Madrid cafe with the newest superstar of her fav club. The two couldn't be more different, yet both feel the pull toward the other. Would this girl be the one he finally falls for? Or would life come in the way of these star-crossed lovers?

…………………………………………………………..

After the whirlwind first week, Jude & Ananya started settling into their relationship over the next few weeks. Discovering deeper layers of each others’ personality and moods.

Both had super hectic schedules, and work always remained top priority. But whatever free time they got, they tried to spend it together.

Jude loved how much she loved and understood football. Not just the glitz and glamour of it but real passion for the game. Like he had. Watching old matches, discussing / debating milestone events & players, even some tactics - everything was so easy with her. Often she got the better of him in trivia, especially regarding Madrid, which she rubbed in his face gleefully. He would pretend to be annoyed, but secretly, he admired that too. She even watched Jobe’s matches with him.

And while he understood very little of her work, he respected her drive & ambition. Never complaining when plans were cancelled last minute, even if that was the only mutually free slot they had in days. Work was work, and it was always sacrosanct.

In fact, when she whipped out terms like ‘leveraged buy-out’ and ‘nominal inflation rate’, dressed in her impeccable well-fitted formals, he found it sexy. A smart young woman, working her way up the corporate ladder of power, influence and success, in a man’s world. It was hot.

Ananya was grateful for his understanding. And his constant curiosity to grasp the intricacies of her job. She loved talking about her day with him, even if it had been a torrid onslaught of one thing after the other. The way his brows furrowed as he concentrated extra hard to keep up with her words, nodding to show he was following the conversation. After a while, she learned to keep it simple, just sharing the essence without getting into technical terms. Much like he did with her for football.

But she wondered how long his understanding would last for. Her own mother and some of her closest friends had been skeptical when she picked this line of investment banking, calling it an impractical career choice for women in the long term. She had followed her passion nonetheless, and no one had really tried to stop her, knowing how strong-minded she was. But the thought often crossed her mind as to when Jude would start expecting his work & schedule to start taking precedence over hers. Start expecting her to act like the other WAGs, always available and around for their men. She constantly looked for signs, but hadn’t found any so far.

The weeks also saw many firsts in their relationship.

She realised how Jude was really a romantic at heart, but didn’t have much experience in expressing his feelings, having never been in a proper adult relationship before. So he did what he thought was supposed to be done. Sending her flowers every Monday before the workweek started, planning elaborate meals for her in her favourite cuisines (executed by his housekeeper of course; Jude couldn’t cook to save his life), offering to pick her up / drop her around the city (via Agnes, coz the boy still couldn’t drive), and buying her gifts.

The rest she appreciated, it was the thought that counted. But the gift had led to their first real argument.

‘You don’t like it?’

His face fell, looking at her sombre expression as she held the sheer crystal pendant in her hand. He saw it at one of the airport shops and had been so sure it would suit her taste.

‘It’s very pretty. But it looks expensive, Jude.’

‘It’s not.’

Jude didn’t understand the reaction. It wasn’t as if he had bought her a diamond. And even if he did, so what?

‘Not to you.’

She said softly, hoping he would understand. But Jude took it as a rejection, like she was pushing him away.

‘So I can’t get you gifts then?’

She scooted closer and stroked his face with the back of her fingers.

‘I love the flowers. The cards. But nothing too expensive, please? Not yet, at least.’

He wanted to scream ‘why not?’ and ‘what would be the right time, then?’ but realised it was a lost cause.

‘Fine, I’ll return it.’

He didn’t say much, sulking in silence. She let him have his space, sorry to see him like that. Realising that such layers of emotional complexities he hadn’t dealt with earlier. He was used to caring for his family & friends, showering them with stuff wholeheartedly. So this refusal would be hard for him to process. But she couldn’t help feeling uncomfortable with expensive gifts and just had to let him know.

There were many happy firsts too, which they both remembered fondly. Like the first time she had stayed the night at his house.

They hadn’t seen each other most of the week and when they finally met that Friday evening, few hours together were simply not enough. They cuddled on the couch, tucked under the same blanket, his arm around her shoulders, her head resting on his chest.

It was also the same night when she first felt his weight on top of her. They were jostling for the remote after a silly argument over a show, and Jude was using his height advantage plus long arms to keep it out of her reach, giggling at her meek efforts. When she moved across his body to grab the remote, she slipped, lost her balance, bringing him down on top of her. They jostled for a few seconds more, before the moment dawned on them. Jude balanced himself on his arms on either side of her, to spread his weight, as she breathed heavily underneath him, drawing attention to her mouth & chest, looking deliciously edible in that tight cream sweater. Too tempting for him. Resulting in an intense, wet make-out session.

Later that night, when she changed into his beige t-shirt over her black tights, he nearly had a heart attack.

‘I look like a homeless person.’

Ananya poked at the formless garment, which was ridiculously big on her.

Jude was on her in a flash, grabbing her ass, lifting her up and pressing her against the nearest wall.

‘I must be massively into homeless people then.’

He smashed his lips onto hers, pressing her further into the wall, making out till she felt light-headed and went limp in his arms. Her neck all shades of purple & blue with his marks.

She stayed in the guest room that night. Talking to him on the phone till they both drifted off to sleep.

The first time they slept in the same bed was a week later.

Madrid had lost 3-1 to Atletico, a brutal derby loss at the Wanda. They were thoroughly outplayed the whole match, worst performance of the season by a mile. And Jude had been invisible the entire game. Fans were displeased, jeers were heard on the ground.

Ananya received a distress call 30 min after the game. It was 12:30 am.

‘Can I come over?’

She wasn’t expecting that. His mom was in town.

‘Sure.’

Jude came to her straight from the Wanda, didn’t even board the team bus back. He knew the building code now and she had left the apartment gate unlocked.

He walked into the dim light of her bedroom, finding her already in bed. She turned, their eyes met, but he quickly looked away. Threw his bag on the desk. Busied himself with getting rid of the Madrid tracksuit. Stripped to his briefs, put on a pair of shorts. All while keeping his back to her.

She could decipher his sadness from his silence / frenzied movements, and opened her arms for him when he finally got into bed. He slid into them quietly, nestling his head into her neck and chest, finding a comfortable spot as she wrapped one arm around his shoulder and stroked his head with the other hand.

The silence prolonged, along with his laboured breathing.

‘How bad did it look?’

Jude hated pity and embellishment when it was thoroughly undeserved. So she gave it to him straight.

‘Quite bad.’

‘Felt much worse.’

‘I know.’

He raised his head agitatedly, sitting up, and she saw his stormy moist eyes for the first time tonight. His accent became even more pronounced, as it did under any extreme emotion.

‘You can’t know. No one can. You weren’t there. You didn’t hear the fans. You didn’t hear the ringing defeat in the dressing room.’

Ananya approached him slowly while he ranted, reaching for his arms, holding them gently.

‘You are right. I can’t know what it really felt like. I just meant, as a fan I can feel the pain too. But of course, being at the centre of it is another thing altogether.’

With a little peck to both his cheeks, she pulled him back down. He let her, drawing comfort from her warmth.

‘Why are your knuckles swollen?’

He didn’t respond at first.

‘JUDE.’

She urged again.

‘It’s nothing. I am fine.’

He said curtly, irritation seeping into his tone. She thought of letting it go, but his anger was his worst enemy at times.

‘How would you help the team or make up to the fans if you are out with injury?’

‘Jeez if I wanted to hear a lecture then I would have just gone home.’

She dropped her arms from around him, leaving him cold and empty.

‘Pardon me for caring. Go kick some doors as well while you are at it.’

She turned away, letting his face drop to the bed.

Jude stayed still for a few minutes, then tugged at her tank top, mumbling softly behind her.

‘M sorry.’

He turned her by the waist, lifted her arms and wrapped them around himself again. She didn’t resist, his pain still gnawing at her heart.

‘How about some hot chocolate?’

‘M not allowed.’

‘Half a cup. I won’t tell Pintus. Take some extra laps in training tomorrow.’

‘Ok.’

‘Gimme a minute.’

Jude gulped it down in two sips, licking his lips for good measure. Strangely, it helped. He was still in a pissy mood but he didn’t feel like burning that stadium down anymore.

As they both settled back into bed, resuming their previous positions, he pulled her in for a kiss, conveying his gratitude.

‘I’d leave in a bit.’

‘It’s ok. You can stay the night.’

‘Sure?’

‘Yup. But won’t your mom wonder where you are?’

‘She’s used to me not coming back or coming late on some nights.’

Ofcourse. So his mom was aware of his night-time activities. Ananya should have guessed so, given Denise spent half her time in Madrid.

‘So…she would think you are with…one of…someone…’

“Yes.’

Ananya shuddered, feeling cheap suddenly.

‘And she doesn’t say anything?’

‘So long as I don’t get anyone pregnant, she ignores this side of my life.’

Jude pulled her closer, moulding her body to his, limbs intertwined, and drifted off to a restless sleep. She stayed awake for a while, looking over his sleeping form.

The first time Jude discussed his relationship at home, it didn’t go down too well.

He told Jobe in a long call one night.

‘I knew it.’

‘No, you guessed it.’

‘Well, I guessed right. You are too easy to read.’

‘Shut up. M not.’

‘Whatever. Does Mum know?’

‘No. Unless she’s guessed it too. She said something to you?’

‘No. How come I knew sitting here & she doesn’t have any wind of it?’

‘Coz you’re nosy.’

‘You mean smart. M smart.’

‘No, I mean nosy.’

‘Bro, you sure you’re ready for this?’

His voice suddenly turned serious. Big brotherly. He was doing that more & more lately. Those who called Jude mature for his age didn’t know what Jobe could be like at times.

‘I want this.’

‘Those are two different things.’

‘I’ll make it happen if I want it. You know that.’

‘If you say so.’

Jude didn’t like the skepticism in his brother’s voice. There was nothing he couldn’t achieve once he set his mind to it. No one thought he’ll have the record setting season with Birmingham at 16. Or the record breaking move to Dortmund at 17. Or the galactico signing to Madrid at 20. Or being a starter in the national team as quickly as he did. Proving people wrong was not new for him, he liked the challenge. Even if the person knew him as well as Jobe did.

Sure he’ll have to give up aspects of his lifestyle. The thrill of being with new women, the rush of making them fall for him, the adrenaline of being their first pick, the excitement of first times, the satisfaction of the impact he had on them, leaving them coming back for more, never having enough of him, the ease of no ties / commitments. It all worked for him at this stage of his life.

But something had consistently drawn him towards this girl from the moment they first met. He couldn’t stand letting her get away. She was a lot more than someone he just wanted to ravish (he wanted that too, desperately). She was a friend, a confidante, an advisor. Someone he sought after anything good or bad. A different kind of intimacy - real, deeper, sweeter, maybe even more satisfying at times - something he was fast getting addicted to. She was comfort. She was warmth. She was peace. She was fun. She was his girlfriend.

His girlfriend.

Why hadn’t they said that to each other yet? It had to be rectified immediately.

Jude called her right away. She woke up with a jump.

‘What happened? All ok?’

‘Just wanted to hear my girlfriend’s voice.’

She missed the context in her grogginess.

‘It’s 2 am. I have to get up at 7 am. Are you fucking nuts?’

‘Is my girlfriend mad at me?’

‘YES. Your girlfriend is LIVID….’

She paused. He waited for it to dawn on her, what was just said.

‘Don’t leave your boyfriend hanging, dove.’

He heard the little gasp she let out at the other end.

‘M coming over. Wanna hear these noises in person.’

‘Ok.’

Next morning, as she got ready for work, she had to apply a ton of makeup to cover his marks on her neck and shoulders. While he remained sprawled on the bed, enjoying the scene, commenting when she missed a spot, ignoring the daggers she was throwing his way coz of getting late.

After that night in his house, Jude had never really attempted to get inside her clothes again. Letting her set the pace on it. He had understood that the path to her body was via her heart. And also her mind. Jude wanted all of her. Everything. Not just the pleasures of her alluring body but also to rule her heart and enchant her mind. Win over all her senses.

But that didn’t stop him from looking. Or touching. Or flirting. Or talking dirty to her.

The feel of her melting in his arms, the taste of her skin - he craved it like a madman. And he indulged freely. Loving how she responded to his closeness. The effect he always had on her - flushed cheeks, fumbling lips, fluttering eyes, shaky breaths, trembling hands. The little noises she made for him, he was cataloguing them all in his mind. Revisiting them in his private moments of need.

It started with passionate make-outs - on the kitchen counter, pool table, dining table, the desk in her bedroom - basically anywhere he could put her on a higher surface, bodies pressed together. Hands roaming her form unabashedly, while hers clutched his shirt or biceps.

Gradually expanding to suggestive exchanges while he was away. They were mostly one-sided, except when he was insistent, but the fact she was there at the other end listening to his fantasies still turned him on.

While the hot & heavy stuff was intensely satisfying, he had started to enjoy their cozy moments too. Comforting cuddles, smiling against her skin as she tried to untangle herself from his hold, gazing into her deep (sometimes wandering) eyes, watching mindless reels with her, taking goofy selfies together, binge-watching shows, talking about their childhood & teenage years, all the little squabbles which seemed pointless in hindsight but seemed super important in that moment.

One such sore point was her consistent fondness for Cama. How she always went all ‘awww’ for him. Jude finally reached his breaking point one night & voiced his annoyance.

‘But he’s so cute & sweet, like sunshine.’

She said simply, waving her hand. The casualness pissed him off even more.

‘Cuter than me?’

‘It’s different. You are sexy cute. He’s cute cute.’

‘Maybe you should check out how many women call me cute cute on social media.’

She pinched his cheeks in response, like he was a 5 year old throwing a tantrum. He pulled away, irritation rising by the second.

‘Ofcourse they do. And you are.’

‘But?’

She smiled. As if he wouldn’t catch the but from a mile.

‘But he’s just like…pure, you know? That vibe.’

‘Pure? PURE? What does that even mean? He’s a person, not a brand of milk.’

She laughed for a good full minute, rolling over the bed, while he figured out what she subconsciously meant, smiling viciously at the realisation. His tone changed, making her take notice.

‘You think he’s some saint, don’t you? Doesn’t INDULGE in things I have indulged in? Just a cute little button, right?’

He didn’t need a response. Just one look at her suddenly sober face and he knew he had hit the nail on the head.

‘Oh baby. Sweet little baby. Let me tell you a few stories then.’

‘Jude, NO.’

She warned, not wanting this ruined in her head. He grabbed her wrists and pulled her closer.

‘He’s a FREAK. Maybe more than me. The stuff he’s into, the stuff HE INTRODUCED ME TO, the stuff on his phone…’

‘FINE. FINE, YOU WIN, OK? JUST STOP, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! I won’t talk about him EVER, just STOP.’

‘Good girl.’

She hated how such praises, laced with mockery & a sense of domination, sent chills down her back. She hated how she was rapidly losing control of her sanity when it came to him. The power that he held over her, that she was giving to him, made her jittery. She had been there before, it didn’t end well. But she could feel the control slipping away again. The fall steeper & faster this time.

The thing was, Jude was simply impossible to resist. He had invaded all her senses, all at once. Barging into her heart with his effortless charm. Sweeping her off her feet with his endless attention. Chipping away at her defences with the sheer force of his smile. Numbing her doubts with his sincerity. Earning her respect with his passion, excellence and work ethic on & off the pitch. Showing her that he meant business.

Every little moment with him she remembered fondly. Counting days when she would see him next. Looking forward to his calls when he was out for away games / other work commitments. Sharing his highs and lows after the matches. Missing his silly jokes & goofy expressions randomly in the middle of work.

And then, it was the fact that he was mind-numbingly gorgeous.

So much, that it was unfair. The looks, the personality, the attitude, the confidence, the success, the physique, the softness, the kindness, even the cockiness - it was all too sexy. Her body tingled every time he was around, anticipating his touch. Or a cheeky whisper in her ear. His kisses were a drug. His bear hugs healing. His presence soothing. Every time he carried her effortlessly in his arms, her heart skipped a beat. His weight on top of her left her wanting more. The allure in his voice called out to the very depths of her being.

Jude had bewitched her - mind, body & soul.

With him, what you see is what you get. She would often catch him checking her out, and he made no qualms about it.

‘Can you not be so obvious?’

She was fixing her collection of novels on the shelf above her desk, while feeling the heat of his gaze on her butt.

‘Why?’

He leaned back against the pillow, enjoying the view. Responding in a playful, sing-song voice.

‘Because it’s distracting.’

‘Why?’

‘Because I know what you’re thinking.’

‘Yeah, and what’s that?’

Ananya turned midway and cocked her head at him. He repeated the gesture, smirking all the way. She gave up. That’s how most of these interactions ended.

Jude’s touch was often firm & insistent, but never pushy. The restraint evident in how he always pulled back when things got too heated; very rarely did she need to intervene. He was giving her time, but she could see the question starting to form in his guileless eyes, more & more, with each passing week of them not taking the final step.

It came to surface one night, when he returned pissed drunk after a teammate’s birthday. Leaning heavily on Agnes, as the older man tried his best to not let his boss trip and fall on his face or ass. As soon as Jude saw her in his living room, he threw both arms around her, his body weight almost making her tumble backwards.

‘Bayyyy-beeeeeeee.’

The angelic Agnes again intervened in time, helping her drag Jude to his room, while that horrid accent hurt her ears. Once inside, Agnes looked at her, as if saying ‘he’s your problem now’ and left swiftly.

Jude plopped down on the edge of the bed, as Ananya started to rid him of his alcohol stained clothes, while he puckered his lips and kept trying to land them on her mouth. She could smell at least 4 different types of liquor on him, evidence of a crazy night.

‘Tryna get me naked? I’ll help ya.’

And he did. Quickly. So quickly, that she had to slap his hand away when it went to the waistband of his briefs, the last remaining piece of clothing on him.

She helped him settle on the pillows, then moved away to go to the guest room but he pulled her down, making her land on top of him.

‘Jude you’re drunk…’

‘Why don’t you want me like I want you?’

She froze. Words instantly dying in her throat. Not expecting such a heavy question in a moment like this.

His vision was blurry but his deep eyes still spoke volumes. A window to his vulnerability.

‘Do you still love him? Is that why you don’t wanna be mine?’

She stared at him dumbfounded, body burning up as a thousand different emotions hit her simultaneously.

He knew very little about her one serious relationship, she had evaded any deep discussion there. But clearly he had gathered more than she gave him credit for, displaying a degree of emotional intelligence she didn’t realise he possessed.

Did she love her ex? No. Did she still have some residual feelings? May have been true when she first met Jude but not so much anymore. Had she completely forgotten him? Well, it wasn’t possible to ever fully forget your first love, at least that’s what she felt.

But his love wasn’t what’s coming in between her and Jude. It was the scars of his love. She hadn’t used her head while walking into that relationship. At some level she always knew it won’t work out; they were too different. And he’d easily move on, like guys always do.

It petrified her that she was following the same pattern here. When Jude was 10 times more different than her compared to her ex. And this was 100 times more complicated than anything she had ever dealt with. So, a part of her was fighting to not cede control to her heart. But looking at his peaceful sleeping face, she wondered if the battle was already lost.

Kissing his cheeks, she whispered into his ear.

‘I do want you. But I am scared, Jude. What do I do?’

It was almost like he heard her in his sleep. Coz his arms wrapped around her body, squeezing it tightly, offering her the security of his embrace. She snuggled closer, kissed his bare chest and drifted off to sleep. Both stayed like that all night.

Roma had been her voice of reason through this tribulation.

She was the one who convinced Ananya to go on that first date. And since she had hung out with Jude more over the past few weeks, she was more #TeamJude than ever before. The Madrid goodies he always brought for her had very little to do with her unwavering support of him, at least that’s what she vehemently claimed.

‘You say you have made peace with his prior lifestyle. But you haven’t. You are still judging him. That’s what’s holding you back.’

Ananya had bared her heart to her about the drunken night. This had been her immediate response.

‘Do you judge me too?’

‘WHAT?’

‘I’ve been with a ton of guys before I met Chris. My philosophy was not too different from Jude’s, I was only looking to explore. And have some fun. Would you judge me for it?’

‘Ofcourse not.’

‘Why? Coz I am a girl and he’s a guy?’

Ananya was stunned into silence, unable to digest the harsh truth of her friend’s words.

‘It’s not the same. He…he…’

Even she didn’t know what all he had done. He had offered to answer any & every question, but she didn’t want to go down that road. Not knowing the details seemed better for her peace of mind.

‘Ofcourse it’s not the same. Coz our situations are not the same.’

It didn’t surprise Ananya that Roma was jumping to his defence. Roma and Jude were similar personalities. Spontaneous, easygoing, jovial, doers rather than excessive thinkers. With an open outlook towards life.

The three of them had hung out a few times by now, and got along like a house on fire. Jude often teased her in front of Roma, pulling her into his lap or resting his hands on her butt. Enjoying her fluster from the open PDA. Once Roma had walked in on Jude feeling her up in the kitchen, while she fixed him a snack after training. Ananya was horrified, but those two laughed it off, uniting to then laugh at her misery.

Frankly, the final frontier, which had been her mind, had started to give up too. She was fast running out of reasons for keeping him at bay.

Moments apart started becoming harder to bear, for both. The ongoing international break was a harsh reminder of it. It was only 3 days in and already felt like a week, despite video calls every morning and every night.

On one such night, when Jude called her late evening, he wasn’t prepared for what hit him.

She was dressed in a shimmery silver sari, long matching danglers & delicate bangles, with a halter neck blouse. The exquisite garment hugging her curves deliciously, accentuating her round full butt & her natural shapely sides.

Jude practically drooled over his phone.

‘Umm….what’s going on?’

‘An impromptu ethnic party in the office. We closed two massive transactions and the HR wanted to do something whacky.’

‘Uh-huh.’

When he didn’t say anything else for the next few moments, just stared blankly, she started to get anxious. And looked over her attire again.

‘You don’t like it?’

‘I love it. You’re fucking beautiful, my god!’

She preened under his heartfelt praise. But there was something else in his eyes she couldn’t decipher yet.

‘Where are you lost?’

‘You’d be mad if I say it.’

‘Don’t be silly. What is it?’

He pondered for a few seconds, then just blurted it out.

‘Don’t kill me. But it’s too sexy. You’d be there without me and….people will see you….guys will see you…..swaying & frolicking in that sinful attire and….they will imagine things. There, I said it.’

He didn’t even wanna think about some asshole actually approaching her tonight. It made him wanna take a private jet back immediately.

He was also half-prepared for her not receiving it well or in the spirit that he intended. Or for her to throw something like ‘what about all your thirst traps?’ at him.

She didn’t do anything of the sort. Her expression stayed balanced, understanding.

‘I’d be wearing a coat over this most of the time. Roma would be with me throughout. And I can’t even drink too much, am down. So there won’t be much ‘frolicking’ as you say. I’ll call you in a few hours when I get back. Ok?’

‘Uh-huh.’

‘C’monn now, gimme a smile before I go.’

‘Gimme a spin first.’

She obliged gladly, twirling for him, giving him a 360* view.

‘Happy?’

Jude shifted uncomfortably on the bed, his body catching up with his wandering thoughts, responding to the temptation that was this seductress.

‘Send me a few photos. From all angles.’

The rosy colour brightened her cheeks, as she understood his real meaning & nodded in response.

‘And you’ll wear this for me when I get back.’

She nodded again, biting her lower lip. Jude was ready to combust.

‘Come back to me soon. I’m waiting.’

Something about the way she said it felt monumentally different to him. But he didn’t fully catch the drift & didn’t want to keep her from her party, so he let it go.

‘Just 4 days more, dove. Then it’s you & me.’

‘You & me.’

‘Have fun. Ciao. I’ll wait for your call.’

They kissed the screen together at the same time, giggling at their silliness, before hanging up. She missed him already, within seconds - concrete proof that she was far too gone.

It was probably time, she could feel it in her bones. She’d talk to him as soon as he’s back.

But, the universe had other plans. And something drastic happened in the meantime that could put their whole dynamic at jeopardy even before it was fully solidified.

…………………………………………………………..

Apologies for the long long wait & thanks for your patience. But I finally got back to these two :)

The next chapter is clear too - it will be heaviest one yet (angst plus smut) 😊

As always, would love to hear your thoughts on this one.

Some folks asked to be tagged but I hv lost track. So if you wanna be added to the tag list pls let me know.

[jaimexbrienne-fic-finder]

Warmth

It's really cold where I am, so I am re-reading and collecting stories that make me feel warm. This is not a tangiable theme, just ~vibes, so it might not feel the same for everyone! But all of them are nice and with a happy ending!

This is Halloween by captainellie

Halloween definition: Surprisingly, how two roommates plus two kids become a family.

Marry Me, Because I Want to Date You by elizadunc (Ladybugbear2)

Jaime's been proposing to Brienne since college. Brienne has been taking it as a joke since college.

It started with a dare by WauryD

It’s easy to make someone angry. It’s harder to deal with the fallout of making them smile.

A weird dream makes Brienne question things.

The Shooting Party by sea_spirit

Scotland, 1921. When Brienne finds out her father is bringing an unwelcome guest from her past to join a shooting party at Winterfell, Sansa suggests that she ask her friend Lord Jaime Lannister for his assistance.

An Afternoon at Aerys Ancient Baths by hillaryschu

Brienne accidentally takes Jaime somewhere super sexy for his birthday and they realize it's actually what they both want. A trip to a modern bathhouse.

Found Wanting by dreadwulf

Brienne is still convinced that the entire affair is a joke on her. Surely there is a real bride somewhere in the castle, who will be brought out once the crowd has had a good laugh at the cow in a satin gown. When she said as much to her intended, he said it was surely a joke on them both. Let them laugh, he said. What’s funnier is that Queen Daenerys made the match in the first place – she must have thought them intolerable to one another. The Beauty and the Kingslayer. Surely Brienne could see the humor in it?

pillow talk by djelibeybi

There are still a lot of things Brienne is afraid to say, but she's trying to be brave.

give it a chance Serries by sameboots

In which Jaime is an important person, Brienne is his P.A., Jaime is hard to deal with, and Brienne is very patient.

--

“Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful.”

“That’s not why I hate you.” Brienne turns around with the tux in hand to find Jaime looking at her like a kicked puppy. “What?”

“You hate me?”

Jaime actually sounds wounded. Brienne pinches the bridge of her nose.

Let's go our separate ways in the night (But know that you're flying home to me) by ImberReader

The first time Jaime kisses her hand she thinks it's part of his promise that they will meet again. And while she's not technically wrong, it takes two more kisses for her to realizes it's so much more than that.

Madness by RoseHeart

Brienne brings Jaime to the Quiet Isle after Pennytree and tries to save everyone, but no one expected what would happen when Jaime tries to save her.

Ring Them Bells by kirazi

His mouth is set in an unhappy line, and she knows he hears it as a sentence she’s passing on him, a just punishment for his crimes. Good, she thinks, yes. I sentence you to live. Live, and find a way to come to terms with it. Live, and never make me watch you ride to your own grave again.

(Jaime rings the bells, and from there, the future unfolds differently. A story about two tired knights on a slow boat to Tarth, working things out.)

The Alcove by RoseHeart

A one shot inspired by the lovely art by jokertookmypicture.

Jaime and Brienne have survived war and winter. But now they must try to find their new lives amidst something they have never truly experienced before: peace.

Head, Hand, Heart by ddagent

When Jaime slays King Aerys, there is no one to take his place. Ned, fearing a Lannister rise to power, suggests his father’s ward, Brienne of Tarth, take the throne. She reluctantly agrees, and finds an ally in Ser Jaime. His loyalty is given by asking just one question: why.

As the Maid of Tarth becomes Queen of the Seven Kingdoms, the Kingslayer becomes Hand to the Queen. And, the longer they spend together, possibly more…

maybe, perhaps, almost by lionoflannistarth (eldritch_beau)

“You haven’t visited the Maester yet, have you?” Brienne asks.

“Oh come now,” Jaime just shrugs, looking up at her with a boyish grin, “you’ve seen me worse.”

Her blue eyes are shining, brimming with life and for a second he feels a mad abandon. She is alive. So is he.

He should just fucking kiss her.

I'm dying to be born again by angel_deux

After the wars are done, Daenerys is queen of the six kingdoms. Jon and Sansa Stark rule the north. And Jaime serves as a hostage in Kings Landing to ensure his brother's good behavior. When Tyrion schemes to see Jaime married off and removed from the city, Jaime is allowed to choose his wife.

He should be happier that the woman he loves is quick to accept his proposal. Except maybe it's too quick. And she just says, "all right". And she calls it sensible.

aka Jaime and Brienne get married to keep the friendship alive, and Jaime pines for his literal wife.

Maiden, Monster, Knight by PrioritiesSorted

The tale was told throughout the Seven Kingdoms: the tale of a mother’s mad grief, the tale of the maiden in the tower, the tale of the dragon who guarded her. A dragon who had once been a girl.

The Unicorn Incident by sdwolfpup

Catelyn needs a unicorn horn. Jaime knows where one is. Brienne is the only virgin she trusts to go with him. Time for a sexually awkward two-person road trip!

cold by djelibeybi

The world is ending soon, she thought. That’s enough to make any man act strangely.

Go On by sdwolfpup

The entirely soft tale of Brienne-with-the-fish and Jaime-with-the-bar, the cheating ex-boyfriend that inadvertently brings them together, and the supportive and exasperated support systems in their lives that help them see that even after heartbreak, life goes on.

Something Real by francoeurs

In which Jaime has a nightmare and overreacts just a bit.

[dragonotaku-justineverything]

How would you rate Minato's Sekirei group? From your least favorite to favorite.

Okay, let it be known I like all the characters in Sekirei really as they're all cool and/or funny, but from least favorite to most favorite it's:

No. 108 Kusano

Nothing against Kuu-chan, but she's also just a kid essentially. A kid that's basically in a battle royal. She is really pure, funny, and adorable, but also she's again just a kid. And after seeing her almost be forced to awaken by that creep Mikogami Hayato, I'm just always like "Just leave her out of this and let her be happy!"

No. 02 Matsu

I can't get over how I found her to be a little weird or creepy when she was first introduced and she struck me as obsessive when I first saw her interact with Minato. Though it is cool how she's such a different type of Sekirei compared to all the others in the show, sticking to computers and strategy only.

No. 88 Musubi

A good first introduction girl to the Sekirei universe! She's very cute and so sweet, but also a little ditzy/naive and that does add to her cheery, cute character, but I could also see that getting a little frustrating.

No. 06 Homura

I thought that they were really cool and I liked their fire power. It was also confusing as heck trying to figure out what their deal was when I first watched Sekirei as a kid. I had no idea if they were a guy or actually a girl (I blame there being a lot of 'traps' in the anime I was watching at the time for that). Now I know he's a guy in a girl's body I guess? Or rather, his body, like his powers was, unstable and slowly feminized into a female body, but also can change their gender after they're winged by Minato? I still don't fully understand it, but I still think they're cool and I like how strong they are. Also, being a protector of other 'unwinged' Sekirei was really awesome.

No. 09 Tsukiumi

In a wave of utter sexiness, she takes the term "traditional woman" to a whole new level haha. I love her outfit and also her hair style! I'll admit, the way she talks can be a little awkward and weird at first, but I also find it cute and endearing! She seems like she'd make an amazing wife!

No. 03 Kazehana

I mean.... come on. I mean.... COME ON! She's amazing! She's so strong, confident, funny, and oh so sexy! This shouldn't be a surprise given how much I love Anko Mitarashi from Naruto. She was also the first woman I saw do the naked apron cliche in anime, so there's that to add to me favoriting her more than all the others haha.

[bookaddict24-7]

REVIEWS OF THE WEEK!

EVERY WEEK I WILL POST VARIOUS REVIEWS I’VE WRITTEN SO FAR IN 2024. YOU CAN CHECK OUT MY GOODREADS FOR MORE UP-TO-DATE REVIEWS HERE.

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16. Shock Marriage for the Powerful Spaniard by Cathy Williams: ⭐️⭐️⭐️

I was addicted to this cheeseball of a book. I'm trying to read through my large (and thrifted) Harlequin book collection, and this was the first one of the year. I'm happy it was because even though it had the typical cheesiness, stilted dialogue, thesaurus raiding, and the confusing use of an Italian term of endearment spoken by a supposed Spanish man, it wasn't a slow book in the least. It was quick, addicting, and had a couple of spicy scenes.

I do have to side-eye the cover creator because the FMC was supposed to have a "latte" coloured complexion (which I hated, but also made her not white. Love that whitewashing of a cover.

Read this for entertainment purposes, not for much else. Although, I AM a sucker for this trope.

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17. We Could Be So Good by Cat Sebastian: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I am grateful to the person who put this book on my radar (thank you m/m reddit group). This book was beautiful and full of admittedly high stressful moments, made a little bit worse by my anxiety that this was going to end like so many books that were written during the decades that this book is set in. Actually, I love that one of the MCs comments on this because it's always been one of my pet peeves when it comes to classic Queer books.

I loved the dynamics between these two characters and how they worked off each other. They were amazing together and even though they weren't perfect, I loved their vulnerability and related to their anxiety (I have a bad habit of empathizing too much with characters when I'm reading from their perspectives). Their love felt like such a naturally progressive thing and whenever they described how they saw each other, my heart did a little dance for them. Although the story spans just a bit over a year (maybe more?) it felt like these two were friends for years.

I also adored the side characters and the found family they offered to the characters. During a time where trust was a gift, these two were gifted with the very best. If they were real people, I only wish that they got to live the best rest of their lives together possible.

In a way, I wanted to cry at the end of this book. The journey, their love, their growth, and the fact that this was reflective of how so many Queer people might have lived during those decades (and some still live this way). It's so heartbreaking knowing people can't just...exist and love who they want. It's mind-blowing.

Anyway, this was sweet, angsty, sexy, and touching. I loved it so much.

___

18. Lotus by Jennifer Hartmann: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Mega-TWs for this book--the author includes them at the beginning of the book. Including CSA.

Jennifer Hartmann has quickly become one of my favourite authors. This is only my second book by her, but it was so exceptional that now I MUST have every single one of her books. STILL BEATING had me in such a chokehold that I didn't think it was possible to have the same addicted experience to another book by her, but I was WRONG.

LOTUS was a dark, romantic, and trauma laced read. Everyone had their own past trauma to confront and I think that's a realistic take because most of us have something we're struggling with in our adult lives. The way Hartmann tackles trauma and somehow still finds the beauty in the dark and in what scares us is truly masterful. She offers possibilities to people who have lost hope of any sort of future. It was tear-inducing, but also such an experience.

The MMC was so well-written and I love that Hartmann was consistent in his persona throughout the whole book. He was so endearing and I just wanted to protect him from the world. Side note: every time I thought of him, I saw the actor who plays Reacher in the show of the same name. Iykyk. The way he cared for the FMC was so pure and like she mentions early in the book, he hasn't been tainted or jaded by humanity. He was a beautiful human being.

The FMC was the epitome of "smile and fake it till you make it". She was quirky and fun, but also carried some heavy reminders of how fragile life is. Though I got frustrated with her a few times, I also completely understood why she was the way she was.

The way everything came together at the end had me yelling "I KNEW IT!", because apparently I'm a book detective, was amazing. Even though the twist is heartbreaking and had me crying a bit, it was so powerful and had everything come together so perfectly.

Hartmann gave every character introduced a life and a heart--and she made them all vulnerable and showed how strong those characters were for their imperfections.

I loved, loved, loved this book.

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19. Eragon by Christopher Paolini: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Re-read January 2024

I read this about 16 years ago, so it felt like I was reading it for the first time. I listened to the audiobook, which I love to do when I'm re-reading, and let me just prepare you: the voice actor is no bueno at magical voices LOL.

Anyway, the story itself was fun and I like to think it stood the test of time. It was fun, full of adventure, and being older, I can tell this story was written by a younger author. This is in no way a bad thing--in fact, I think it made it more believable for me that this MC is only 15-16. The writing felt more like the author was going on his own adventure and he really loved reading fantasy books. It was just pure fun. Although at times, I seriously was impressed with his mastery over the English language with his writing.

Overall, this was a fun re-experience. Some points were a little on the slower side, but I can also see that this is building that foundation for an epic series. Will definitely be re-reading the sequel!

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20. Murder in the Family by Cara Hunter: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I was worried about the hype surrounding this book because hype and I aren't always the best of friends. But listen, I started the audiobook one night and finished the book the following day. THIS WAS SO ADDICTING and brilliant.

I highly recommend doing the audiobook--it's a full cast and minus the music (there wasn't any), this felt like a podcast and I adore those kinds of stories.

I'm impressed with how Hunter was able to create such strong personalities with other an initial description of what each specialist does for a living and their dialogue (especially since the story is told in the style of a script and other multimedia add ons, like photos and maps and clues.) But I think hearing the voice actors give life to these characters also helped a lot.

The twists had my eyebrows rising and my smile of surprise growing after every episode. And when all was revealed, that last punch of a surprise had me wishing I could yell at someone about it. Fantastic.

Normally, thrillers and I are very hit or miss--this was 100% a hit with me. So much freaking fun.

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21. Set the Record Straight by Hannah Bonam-Young: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

One of my favourite things in romance novels is something that I know a lot of people don't like: little to no conflict. Maybe it's because it's a novella, but this one was such a breath of fresh air. Communication? No misunderstandings? Respect for your partner? No bullshitting around the truth? Sign me right up.

My biggest regret is reading this in January rather than during the holidays!

I loved the two MCs' friendship and how it was the perfect foundation for their relationship. That being said, I did think it all happened super quick and while I know this is because this is a novella, but I wouldn't have minded if this was a bit of a longer book--just so we could dive a bit more into their past and their relationships with the people around them.

This was also SPICY. I listened to the audiobook and the I would pause what I was doing just to stand there and listen with hot cheeks. This was hot HOT. If you like that in romance novels, yeah, this is for you. It was super caliente and I was very here for it.

I highly recommend, not just for the spice, but because this relationship is so pure and it was just a bite of happiness between two friends who should have been more all along but finally found their way to each other. Also, there may be some relatable moments in here and I just--yeah.

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22. The Measure by Nikki Erlick: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I think THE MEASURE is a great metaphor for how the world treats people it considers "other" and just how interlaced we all truly are at the end of the day.

While the story itself is about the strings and the lengths they offer the individual, at the core of this story is a message about how we view life and how others view our own lives. It's that continuous question of: if my life is mine, why does it bother you what I do with it? And then using the small few to crucify the rest with inane laws and prejudices. Many of the events in this book could easily mirror what is continuously happening in our societies.

We get to see the story of THE MEASURE play out through various characters and as their lives come together and separate, I was constantly in awe of how it was all happening. I wanted certain answers and knew I had to be happy with whatever I was offered because like the characters, I only had the strings and the theories to go off.

I won't lie, this made me cry a few times. I felt anger and heartache, joy at the power of humanity and love, and awe at the smallness of the world.

While I loved this book, I wouldn't say it was a favourite of the year, but it was definitely memorable and I'd definitely recommend it. The last author to make me feel like this about books that explore this kind of message was Karen Thompson Walker.

I highly recommend THE MEASURE if you're looking for a book that will challenge you to look at your life and ask yourself: would you open the box, or keep it closed and just live your life unaware?

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23. Lovelight Farms by B.K. Borison: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I'm definitely reading this series out of order, but who's keeping track, right?

I liked LOVELIGHT FARMS more than its sequel. This one was told only from the POV of the FMC, but something about this one captured my interest more. Maybe it was the angsty friendship, or the fact that everyone was saying "IT'S HAPPENING!", which was adorable.

I think I also liked the dynamic between these two characters a lot more than the characters in the second book. I think they worked a lot better than a one night (one weekend?) stand that somehow couldn't stop thinking about each other. These two characters had a history to work off and it was nice to see that evolve.

The farm was also like a character itself and I loved seeing it from this perspective--the one of a person who truly loves and breathes the space.

What I didn't like so much was the stupid miscommunication that happened near the end because of the FMC's assumptions, fears, and anxieties. I get it, love is scary af, but you know what's scarier? Miscommunications.

Other than that blip, I really enjoyed this one and I can see how anyone who reads this is easily pulled into this fun and quirky contemporary world!

___

Have you read any of these books? Would you recommend them?

___

Happy reading!

[scottsummersevents]

For the Sexy Days of Summers Event happening right now we've invited Scott Summers (Cyclops) fans to take part in spreading more love for him out there on the internet by creating fanfiction, fanart, fan works, etc. to celebrate our favorite X-Men leader and the possibility of what if. For the duration of this challenge so far we've received some really incredible submissions with super rare pairings that are new to us. For the month of September we'd like to share some of those and also share some various fandom creations along the way in terms of content. Some might be an old favorite pairing while others might be something in terms of shipping you've never considered before.

Today's spotlight pairing is a fan favorite pairing that still sparks passion in their fans :)

Below under the cut you can take a look at this pairing and see what fun it could prove to be!

Also if you have a favorite Scott pairing and a fanfic that you've written or that you love, then feel free to drop us a note and let us know so we can showcase it in the future!

Stay tuned for more duo spotlights coming soon!

I Follow You Deep Sea, Baby by medievalkoala (Rated M) Scott can't sleep. Emma's solution? A late-night date.

What A Diamond Desires by IAmSimplyVibing (Rated E) Scott and Emma can't even remember the last time they saw each other in person, and they're determined to make the most of this date night.

Euphoria by medievalkoala (Rated G) "I don’t think I’ve even had proper pain. It was a very easy birth. You just came out. Like you were in a hurry. Your dad cut the cord and handed you to me. You didn’t even cry, it was like you didn’t have time for the ordeal and just wanted to get it over with."

Megan Summers is born after a very easy birth.

Correction: A physically easy birth.

Or, Emma thinks about motherhood in the delivery room.

Homeflight by flightinflame for onestory (Rated M) Scott is one of the blessed. He leads a team to rescue children who are blessed from danger. He doesn't think he needs rescuing himself.

The Hellfire Orgy by Ravel991 (Rated E) Emma Frost arranges a great orgy after the main Hellfire Gala ends.

but you make it look easy by tamagorou (Rated T) "In a few years, some rebellious little kid is going to turn up at your school with me on his T-shirt. 'Cyclops was right.'"

A take on the Decimation - AvX publication period where Cyclops has been depowered due to M-Day (alongside some other changes). More tags will be added with further chapters.

This Life by medievalkoala “Ruby Summers.” I couldn’t help but let out a giggle. What a name.

Megan remembers the first time she met her new siblings.

Would You Sit at My Grave if I Killed Myself by medievalkoala (Rated G) Emma can't sleep. Literally what the title says. Takes place during Utopia.

E is for Evolution by bananabrain (Rated E) Trapped with no telepathy, but armed with the power of her incredible looks, Emma Frost visits the leader of the X-Men in his room to lift up his downer spirits amid the X-Men's recent turmoils.

Who could have thought that while Scott Summers is fighting the world, Emma Frost is fighting her own mind?

Drops of Red in the Snow by IcyDeku13 (Rated T) It's Mid winter and Scott is trans and he can feel his body being crappy. Trauma has come to bite him in the back.

i'll be getting over you my whole life by moonboy_writes (Rated T) Emma Frost's life is perfect. She's married Scott Summers, and the two have six children, a beautiful house, and well-paying jobs. But everything is not as it seems as Emma begins to realize that maybe, her life isn't perfect after all. Maybe none of this is even real...

jubilee by metabaron (Rated G) "Who told you?"

Scott sat at the foot of the bed, stroking her bare ankle. "Sage."

Written for the Krakoa Discord 50-word fanfic challenge.

This was the winner for that week's challenge

luxuries we can't afford by just_another_classic (Rated T) Emma and Scott in Savage Land, a reflection by Emma Frost. [writer's month prompt: beach episode]

the benefits of dating a superhero by cherry_lips (takemesomewherenice) (Rated E) A little Emma/Scott fun from around the time of Joss Whedon's run of Astonishing X-Men.

Cyclops Gets an Eye Exam by NotQuiteHydePark (Rated G) It is what it says on the tin.

Red on White by celeste9 (Rated T) Emma watches the blood pool on the tile.

You Missed Me (Script for GWA) by Capspandex (Rated E) Emma and Scott get paired up and I think we know the rest

Her Flawed Gem by flightinflame for onestory (Rated T) Everyone thinks that Scott Summers is perfect. But Emma knows that he isn't, and that doesn't make her any less in love with him.

Prismatic by TriffidsandCuckoos (Rated G) Scott would like to discuss soulmates. Emma would really rather not.

Just Let Go - An Emma Frost, Sex Therapist Encounter by The_Uncanny_SeX_Man (Rated E) Set during the Morrison New X-Men run, Emma Frost holds a rendezvous with Scott Summers behind his wife's back in order to help him realize some deep seated psychological trauma.

Scemma Drabbles by Paxorsym (Rated G) A small handful of scemma drabbles

Be sure to check out more Scott ad Emma fics up at AO3 here.

[xstarkillerx]

✨ here and I had a whole discussion with my friends about Anakin and me being like “100% would love to handle this guy” and my friend was shocked as she could definitely not see Anakin as a sub. And it reaaaally got us heated like “no Anakin is definitely giving too energy” and me being like “I can’t imagine that sorry” and the thing you published about Anakin just giving his all while trying to hide his tears of frustration, I agree so so soooo much. Man is scared of his own attachment it just works perfectly

LMAOOOOOO, I love that y'all were debating about it. There are two wolves inside of every person, one wants to get absolutely railed by Anakin Skywalker, the other wants to make him cry. You guys could go back and forth on this debate forever, honestly. I do it every day.

Honestly, soooooo many versions of Anakin exist in my head, but I think the main one exists as this Christian grey type character (HEAR ME OUT, GIVE ME 2 MINUTES OK I SWEAR I CAN EXPLAIN).

Is Christian Grey a complex and well written character? Absolutely not, that entire series is dogshit, but the most interesting thing about him that I took away from those movies, is this admission of feeling like the weakest creature on earth.

mildly off the rails tangent below that I'm hoping no one thinks I'm fucking crazy for saying out loud. But sparkle anon, I think you more than anyone else will at least have a laugh about it so... CW for unhealthy BDSM practice mention, grooming mention, etc.

I was surprise to see that in that second movie, Christian actually admits that he's not a dominant, he's a sadist. NOT even in the BDSM sense of the term, which requires actual training, emotional, physical, and psychological awareness and care, but just a sadist in general. He's a very confused victim of grooming who gets off on hurting people who look like his mother. His first genuine act of emotional vulnerability with Anastasia, the first one that holds any real meaning to him, is getting on his knees and letting her violate a previously stated boundary (touching his chest), which is FUCKED UP but entirely telling of the values that were instilled in him when he was being groomed as a teenager, that love is submission, devotion is submission, and submission is self-destructive, which is horrible and I really empathize with that experience. He turns to this charade of dominance (and extremely unhealthy BDSM practice) as a rejection of his grooming but also as a way of expressing his pent up trauma that he refuses to address in a healthy way. However, when it comes time for him to show Ana who he is, be genuine with her, what does he do? He kneels, palms up, eyes to the floor.

The truth is, if he were able to find submission on his own, he would have a much better internal relationship with his submissive tendencies. (if I'm remembering correctly, I haven't seen the second film in ages)

So, how this connects to Anakin (in the way that I think and write about him) is that he probably sees things in the same way. For his own reasons (i.e. slavery, losing his mother, Palpatine's grooming), Anakin has problems relinquishing control, not just in a sexual sense but in a spiritual one too. He does not feel entirely comfortable giving things up to the will of the force.

So when it comes to you and the power you have over him, it completely tears him up inside to be at someone's mercy and it's something he clearly fights against when he's with you. Like, this isn't necessarily a sexy thought, but I almost picture him hating you sometimes because of it. Yet, how he expresses love for you, in his own fucked up little way, is to let you cross his boundaries and see hints of that submission. He lets you get on top, he lets you pull his hair, he lets you use his body, because he loves you and he loves it, he just can't help but feel conflicted and weak for how good he feels when you use him. So sometimes he fucks you rough with tears in his eyes crying and groaning in your ear about how much he fucking hates you, because his insides feel all twisted the fuck up.

Is this fucked up? probably, but I see it as being pretty aligned with his character.

ALSO SORRY FOR SUCH A LONG REPLY THAT PROBABLY MAKES NO SENSE, your asks always get my brain working, sparkle, dearest.

[ikkaku-of-heart]

A scheming starter for @medicus-mortem​ (welcome back!)

Ikkaku pursed her lips, trying to figure out the best way to bring up her plan to Law. She knew he wouldn’t be thrilled about it. It was risky. Basil Hawkins’ name had already been gaining notoriety by the time the Hearts had left the North Blue, and it seemed to have only grown more infamous by the time he’d crossed over to the Grand Line. The fact that his bounty was now neck-and-neck with Law’s was proof enough of that.

Yes, he was dangerous, but apparently, he was romantically interested in Ikkaku. The massive bouquet of black lilies, sunflowers, and red roses that had been waiting for her in port when the Tang pulled up was only the latest in his line of strange shows of affection. How had he even known they were coming? The Tang’s navigational equipment wasn’t as beholden to log poses as most other ships, but he’d known exactly when they would arrive to the point where he’d had fresh flowers waiting for her.

She didn’t believe his cards actually told him the future. It had to be smoke and mirrors to disguise math and probability, or maybe he’d found a way to track the ship? Regardless, it was concerning. Certainly stalkerish. It would be perfectly reasonable to let Law go all protective big brother on Hawkins. And yet, Ikkaku found herself thinking. The Magician certainly wasn’t after her. She had a paltry bounty, a sexy bounty poster, and a powerful captain. Those were the three things anyone outside of the crew really noticed about her. Definitely not enough to have earned her, for lack of a better term, a suitor. If he just wanted to sleep with her, he could have just chatted her up at a tavern. The flowers alone were probably what her bounty was worth. Which left only one thing.

Thus, she’d come to the most logical conclusion. This was clearly a ploy to get to Law somehow. Seduce the sole female member of the Hearts as a way to either form an alliance or do harm to the one who really mattered – the Surgeon of Death.

The thought annoyed her. Ikkaku knew her value amounted to what she could do for people – fix engines, create gadgets, make a gloomy captain smile – but being a stepping stone to Law was an insulting but persistent one. Especially insulting considering how it was likely based on the assumption that, as a silly woman, her loyalty or emotions could be swayed by flowers or pretty words. And her pride was stung by this enough that she didn’t want Law just up and killing the guy.

No, she wanted to hurt him the same way. She wanted to play Hawkins at his own game and teach him to underestimate and undervalue her. And for that, she needed Law to not slice him to bits the next time they met. Convincing him to stay his blade was likely going to be the hardest part of this whole charade.

Knocking on the door to Law’s office, Ikkaku stepped inside, expression resolute. It was time to take action instead of sitting around and letting Law solve her problems for her.

“I’ve got a plan,” she stated. “A way to milk that creepy, fortune-telling bastard for everything he’s worth before you kick his ass. But you’re gonna have to let me take the lead on things and not interfere.”

[whoneedsapublisher]

A Bit Late For This Isn't It?

Fic two! A Mousou Telepathy fic from ages ago that forced me to figure out work skins on Ao3.

Words: ~1500

Summary: Aya comes to a realization that would have been much less awkward if she'd figured it out much much earlier.

Also on Ao3

******************

Ayako, was, in a word, embarrassed. Perhaps even mortified.

For so long, she’d known that Hayato was in love with her. In time, she’d come to realize her own feelings for him. It had been a long road to that conclusion, and along the way, Mana had been unlucky enough to have her heart broken  That was sad, of course, but there wasn’t much that Ayako could have done about that. Hayato just… didn’t think of Mana that way. Even if he wasn’t obsessed with Nakano, he wouldn’t be interested in Mana.

The problem was that Ayako had… well, she hadn’t… directly asked Mana for her blessing to get together with Hayato, exactly, but… with how she was, her feelings were obvious, and Mana was forced to come to terms with Ayako being interested in Hayato and to get over it.

Which made it so, so, much worse when she realized that there was someone she liked more than Hayato.

It wasn’t that she didn’t like Hayato. He was still kind, and passionate, and had helped her out of her shell in his own way, and she was still attracted to him a little but… he was a little creepy sometimes. And their relationship felt… based on a lie. It made her feel guilty. He only really liked her because of her power, right? Because she could read his face, when really she couldn’t, and just had a shortcut.

Well, and also because he thought she was sexy, but… well, she wasn’t really that swayed by reasoning like that...

But there was someone else in her life who didn’t like her because of a misunderstanding. Someone who genuinely cared about her, without any illusions driving it. Someone who had saved her from herself, and helped her through low times without any hesitation.

The one person who knew her secret, and still wanted to be around her.

Mana.

Ayako buried her head in her hands, her ears burning. From her left, she could hear Yacchan wondering what was wrong with her this time. It was the “this time” that really stung, but she couldn’t deny it…

But really, what was she supposed to do now…? Mana had been willing to swallow her feelings and cheer Ayako on, how was Ayako supposed to turn to her and say “um, actually, I don’t want to date Hayato, I like you more”?

What other choice did she have, though? She was easy enough to read already, but Mana was particularly good at telling what she was thinking. There was no way Ayako would be able to hide her feelings from Mana even if she wanted to.

And… she wasn’t sure she did. What good had running away from confessing to Hayato done her? This time, she wanted to be honest about her feelings. And… maybe they could still be friends after Mana turned her down. Mana and Hayato were still friends, right? And Mana had been able to move on from Hayato. Maybe Ayako would be able to move on too, once she was rejected properly.

She was… pretty sure that was going to be the outcome of all this. She could read Mana’s mind, after all. And Mana hadn’t shown any interest in her beyond platonic, really. And she’d been interested in guys. So the two of them dating… it probably wasn’t possible. But she still wanted to do this right. Then at least she could feel like she’d done all she could.

She sat up and stared ahead, composing herself.

Oh, Yacchan thought. Looks like she came to some kind of a decision.

That is, assuming she could manage to confess before her face gave it away...

******************

“So what did you want to talk to me about?” Mana asked. She looks nervous… What’s up?

“Um…” Ayako said, trying to gather together her courage. Mana looked at her with concern.

Suddenly, a thought sprung unbidden into Ayako’s mind.

How different would Mana’s face look once Ayako had said what she planned to?

Images of Mana recoiling in disgust bubbled up in her mind, and Ayako froze.

She’d just been assuming Mana would just brush this off. Sure, she thought she’d probably be turned down, but she hadn’t considered Mana’s reaction to it beyond that. Hayato hadn’t been that bothered by Mana’s confession but… that was a girl confessing to a boy. He couldn’t have been surprised that Mana was straight. But.. how would Mana feel, knowing that Ayako was attracted to women? Would she feel betrayed? Would she be angry?

“Aya? Are you okay?” Now what’s wrong…? She got scared all of a sudden…

“I-I’m fine,” Ayako said hurriedly

She’s such a bad liar… Come on, you know I can tell by now, right Aya? “Uh,  you don’t look fine.”

“I-I…” Ayako stuttered.

It must be about what she wanted to tell me… what, is it about Hayato or something? “Just so you know, I’m not gonna get mad if it is,” Mana said, sighing.

“Um… it’s definitely… not about him…” Ayako managed, flushing. God, what had she been thinking? She never should have done this. Mana was going to hate her…

She looks so afraid… what is she so worried about? It’s not like she’s confessing to me or anything…

Ayako froze.

Wait, what’s with that reaction?

“I’m in love with you!” Ayako blurted out, before Mana could figure out it.

“What?!” What happened to being in love with Hayato?!

“I’m sorry!” Ayako said, bowing. “I-I realized I didn’t really have that deep of a connection to him, b-but I care about you a whole lot, and-”

“Okay, so you care about me, but does that mean you’re in love with me?” Mana asked skeptically. “Like do you wanna… you know…”

Ayako flushed red and covered her face as Mana’s mind filled with images of the two of them… getting intimate. Or maybe more precisely, Mana was thinking about that, and it was Ayako’s mind that was generating these… vivid images.

“Y-Yes,” she mumbled.

“H-Huh,” Mana said. Me and… Aya? I’ve never really… thought about it… I guess I have started seeing what Hayato sees in her since we’ve been friends… but… she’s a girl… ah, no offense, but… god! It’s really inconvenient for you to read my mind when I’m trying to think about this!

“I’m sorry!” Ayako said.

“Just… can you… go somewhere else for a second so I can think without you listening, please?” Mana said, waving distractedly at her.

“O-Okay…” Ayako said, slinking away. Well, at least Mana hadn’t seemed angry, or anything. That was a relief. She… wasn’t sure what she’d do if Mana started to hate her. 

So, well, that was it, then. She hadn’t completely ruined things, at least. At least that was good! Still… Mana’s reaction hadn’t been too encouraging. And it wasn’t like Ayako had expected anything else. But… was that just her being cowardly? She was afraid of being rejected, so she’d basically already decided it had happened? Wasn’t it better to at least hope, a little?

Her phone buzzed and she jumped a little, then quickly pulled it out.

It was from Mana. “You can come back now.”

Ayako took a deep breath and headed back behind the school.

When she got there, she found Mana looking awkward.

Jeez… this is gonna be weird… “Alright,” Mana said. “I… haven’t exactly thought of you like that before, but… I think I might be interested in dating you.”

Ayako stared at her in shock. “W- Really?” she asked, a smile creeping onto her face along with a blush.

Yeah, she definitely looks cute when she smiles like that...  “Well, you know I’m not lying, right?” Mana said. This is going to be really weird to explain to Hayato…

“Hey Hayato!” Mana said, hand in hand with Ayako. “You know how you turned me down for Aya? Sorry, but I stole her from you!”

Hayato collapsed to his knees, his head slumping as Mana laughed victoriously.

Ayako giggled.

“Ah, just for reference, I’m not planning on saying that or anything!” Mana said quickly. It is a little funny, though.

“So do you want to… hold hands, then?” Ayako asked, holding her hand out shyly.

Is that really something you need to be so bashful about? Well, I guess stuff like that is what makes her cute. “Sure,” Mana said, taking Ayako’s hand. Still, is she gonna be like that with everything?

Nakano’s shirt was unbuttoned enough to give her a lot of cleavage, her jacket open and a blush on her face.

“Ah… Mana, do you want to… you know,” she said bashfully, reaching up to unbutton another bu-

“Wait! No! I didn’t mean-” Mana said, flailing her arms above her head as if she could wipe the image away. “God, this is gonna be so weird. Sorry.”

“Don’t worry,” Ayako said, a slightly resigned look on her face. “I’m used to it...”

[entamewitchlulu]

i went to see a special showing of dracula (1992) at my local theater for the halloween vibes and since i’ve also being enjoying dracula daily as my first official foray into the original dracula, i have some Thoughts

- there was no reason for this movie to be rated R. the gore was minimal at best and hokey at worst. there were a few sexually charged scenes and like, a handful of naked boobs, but not nearly as many naked boobs as I had expected from some of the content warnings i had been reading before i went to go see it

- they absolutely Wasted keanu reeves in this movie. they cast him as jonathan harker and idk if he was just not as good of an actor back then or if the script for him just sucked or if he was directed poorly but he was so stilted and boring and i was like man. he deserves better than this. my friend jonathan deserves better than this.

- winona ryder was really good though

- the movie made lucy a lot more...mean? like she is very much portrayed as leading on all three of her suitors, and being kind of flirtatious and seductive and even a little mean in the way she kinda pulls the three men around. in the book i got more of a sense that she was like...sweet and maybe a little bit silly, but she genuinely liked all three guys and cared about them a lot and wouldn’t have played with their feelings like that just because. it made it kind of cheapen her eventual turning and death

- van helsing was made to be Too Competent. they very much went with the tack that he already knew that vampires existed and was an expert on defeating them. They also made him weirdly like. rude. in the book he’s the sweetest old man who’s like, 30% sure vampires are involved but he’s never actually had cause to believe vampires are real yet so he’s trying to move cautiously so he doesn’t jump into a hysteria or jump anyone else into a hysteria. and i liked that more

- making it a romance between mina and dracula was suuuuuchhhh a mistake. I am not immune to Dark Lovers plots but i found myself just sitting there rolling my eyes any time the two of them had a scene together. the fact is just like...dracula isn’t actually sexy. there are plenty of sexy vampires in the world, but dracula isn’t. to me. he’s just a predator, and i don’t meant that in the sense that he’s abusive etc i mean that in the literal sense of the term, he’s a hunter at the top of the food chain like a wolf or a lion and adding romance to that just has no interest to me. he was a creature that simply had the appearance of a person.

- also, to be completely honest with you, dracula is an incompetent idiot and that’s what makes him so entertaining to me. he’s like, super powerful, seductive, has all sorts of intense powers, but he’s running around like a dumbass trying to make them all work. he SEEMS more dangerous because the rest of the cast is so overpowered by his sheer abilities, but like van helsing says, he’s very much like a child when it comes to what exactly he knows he’s capable of doing. Making him more of a master criminal makes him like every other sexy villain which just makes him more boring me.

- (again. i like sexy villains. I am not immune to a good sexy villain. but for me the fun of dracula is that he is just putting on the face of a sexy villain but is actually essentially just a very hungry carnivore figuring out how to get the tasty meal hidden behind all the newfangled mortal contraptions. this is probably a personal thing that most people will not resonate with and that’s fine.)

- but on the other hand of making dracula into a tragic figure who just wants his reincarnted love back, i truly think making mina into his reincarnated love just...takes away a lot of what i liked about mina’s character. it doesn’t really serve to give her any more agency than the book already had for her, in fact it almost makes her feel like she has less. sure, she seems like she’s more direct about what she wants in the movie, but the fact that she’s a reincarnation makes it seem as though she’s just this lady getting pulled around helplessly by fate. rather, in the book, mina is just an ordinary woman who gets caught up in everything, and Decides to do whatever she can in order to bring this monster that’s killed her best friend and tortured her lover and tried to turn her into a monster as well down. She uses his own powers against him when he forms a mind link with her. In the movie, van helsing insists that he hypnotize her to find dracula, but in the book, it’s mina who puts together that they have this potential advantage and seeks out van helsing to demand that he do this.

- idk i just. mina is my favorite character. and i just feel like the movie does a huge disservice to her by making her just a reincarnated suicidal love interest.

- anyway i’m complaining a lot but the the movie was still not bad at all if you consider it its own thing apart from the book. I think it was really entertaining in that sort of campy, silly special effects from the 90s sort of way. I almost choked trying not to laugh in the theater when we got to see dracula climbing down the wall like a gecko with his stupid long cape trailing after him.

- on a totally different note, i feel like the plot of this movie was super similar to the plot of Curse of Strahd? From just the briefest search i can’t find out anything specifically, but i almost feel like Strahd was D&D’s take on this version of Dracula, but casting Strahd’s “eternal love” as a much more dangerous and harmful force than Dracula’s.

- i am also open to suggestions for other dracula adaptations or retellings in any format (books, movies, video games, anime, manga) that you think are worth looking into. i’m kinda in the zone to look more into stuff about dracula atm, especially with the halloween season

[invincible-selfxmade-punk]

Today is what would have been my mom's 84th birthday. When I think in terms of people who have died and have been dead for a long time and it comes time for their birthdays, I always think of them as being incredibly old or would have been incredibly old if they had lived.

The thing is my mom diesd so damn young. She would not have been that old---- at least not to me. But she died at 45, when I was barely 12, and 40 years have come and gone.

I saw a post about Ramadan. And I don't know much about it I don't know if it is still going on. But I did want to put up a little tribute to the second parents that God gave me.

They were an Iraqi couple that I met when I was managing a little kiosk at the mall. I managed there for 10 years and met some of the most wonderful people who became my found family.

The man was named Zeki Al Jabir and his wife was Hayat.s

They only had sons so I became their unofficial adopted daughter.

They immigrated here from Iraq when Saddam Hussein took power and they had to leave behind a fairly privileged life including friends and family.

They both found good jobs here in the United States as professors at a university up north----though probably not as good are as fancy and glamorous as the government jobs that they held before Saddam took everything away.

They came back to Corpus Christi in their '80s to retire and that is how I found them because they walked the mall everyday.

There was a Jordanian couple who ran a kiosk next to mine and I'm guessing that's how we started talking because I heard them speaking Arabic to each other.

I told him how my father was Lebanese and that he had died when I was 20 but he never spoke Lebanese to me. He spoke fluid Lebanese and Spanish to his parents and his parents never really learned english. But he only spoke English to me and didn't seem particularly interested in teaching me any other language. Which I felt a total loss about especially as I got older and after he passed.

Zeki and Hayat were towering influences in my life. Hayat especially was a force to be reckoned with and I truly believe it is because of her that I am now a teacher and it is definitely because of her that I stepped out and published 5 books on my own.

When my first book came out I presented them with a copy and they were so proud of me. They paraded me through the mall with them and introduced me to everyone as their daughter.

Zaki especially always wanted me to become muslim. But that was just not in the cars for me at all. Although I do love and respect it. And in the end I don't think that there are that many differences between our beliefs.

Zeki would regale me with stories of living in Morocco and all the crazy things he had seen and done there. He also thought it quite a novelty that I liked girls. And unbeknownst to his wife would email me. Pictures of scantily clad he thought we both found attractive. He was a wild one! He taught me some Arabic but sadly I cannot remember almost anything now.

Zeki did not tell me when he got answered. I was actually on a trip to Washington DC to visit some of my other Lebanese relatives who are extremely hardcore Republicans and extremely stuck up. But I had gone out on a limb and had gone to visit them and we had eaten at the celebrities restaurant and tried all this wonderful wonderful evidence food and I was so proud to come back and sure it was sexy and it was the last thing we would ever share because after I said he emailed to tell him all this. Hayat assured me he read it and he died a few days later.

I ended up getting a teaching job and moving from South Texas back to West Texas and I never saw Hayat again .

I'm sure that she is in whatever Realm Of Heaven they believe in. Probably harassing Zeki about all those virgins. That's one thing I kind of never figured out. You die you went to heaven you got all those virgins but what happened to your wife?

I'm guessing she would have to be okay with it although if it was me I think I'd be demanding those virgins for myself as well. Big bisexual at all.

People are never God as long as they live on in your memory. And now I'm hoping that Zeki and Hayat will live on in yours as well.

[alena-reblobs]

Trigun Bookclub Trimax Vol14 Part 1

Vol01: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3  | Vol02: Part 1 | Part 2

Trimax: Vol01 Part 1Vol01 Part 2 | Vol02 Part 1Vol02 Part 2 | Vol 03 Part 1 | Vol03 Part2 | Vol04 Part1 | Vol04 Part2 | Vol05 | Vol06 | Vol07 | Vol08 Part1 | Vol08 Part2 | Vol09 Part1 | Vol09 Part2 | Vol10 Part1 | Vol10 Part2 | Vol10 Part3 | Vol10 Part4 | Vol11 Part 1 | Vol11 Part2 | Vol12 Part1 | Vol12 Part2 | Vol12 Part3 | Vol13 Part1 | Vol13 Part2 | Vol13 Part3 | Vol14 Part1

I don't wanna do this, but I have to! Aaah Chapter 1 is already killing meee. This will be long, probably only 2 chapters per post...because I need to save every picture!

Chapters 1 and 2 review under the cut!

It's early Vash! And everybody is smiling and happy...even Knives!! Just imagine what this manga would be like if it was a story about two alien boys helping out the humans on a strange planet with their fun and weird powers and shenanigans. The Office style, Knives looking sceptically into the camera while you can hear Vash shuffling around in the background and crashing things. Then even Knives has to laugh when he sees something funny outside of the camera view.

Chapter 1:

Alas, we are a manga with a darker story so hmm let's get on with it.

Loving Vash's little "haha no you haven't" :D And then trying to backtrack.

And again, we're getting Vash's thoughts...so very few moments throughout the whole series that every time it feels special and monumental. And this, it's...it feels like in this world full of bandits killing would be such a meaningless act, nothing to really ponder about. I mean, go on Vash, defend yourself, if the others die in the process it's not your fault! But he doesn't. And I really like that he's not being portrayed as this cool gunman that kills 5 bad guys with one bullet or smth, but he's defying every rational way of living under these surroundings to follow his belief.

The fight between Legato and Vash looks awesome and a lot is happening which I don't follow haha! But here I was thinking maybe Legato is pulling all those debris stuff that falls from above (the spaceship?) down on Vash with his powers, so that Vash's feathers are momentarily distracted with defending himself, and in the meantime Legato can get closer!

I really can't recall what happens with Chronica and I've read the series 2 times already...so...hope she's ok down there!

AAAH Legato you're fucked. We all love Vash when he's fun and friendly but BOY do we also like it when he's terrifying, don't we? That look!

Is it....secret shoulder pad weapon??

Get terrified, Legato.

This is such a damn cool Vash panel.

The text: Ough.

The middle panel: AAAAAH legit scary, imagine being Legato right now.

Also thi? Holy shit. He's just moving the prosthetic right through the gun. That is NOT an opponent you want to mess with. I think they are both screaming here.

(Small Elendira!! <3) Aso yeaaah ok Legato you can have a little of my sympathies. The sky looks so clear and wide and full of hope and how he's looking up at Knives..aaw dang.

Get crushed, Legato....this is the most brutal we've ever seen Vash be towards someone, isn't it? In terms of purposefully inflicting wounds.

What a cool change of emotion in this scene!! Legato really wants to die and he finally...sounds and looks at rest? And the moment he realises Vash won't do it, it's just pure anger. This is such a cool scene!! And Vash looks so conflicted!! He wants this fight to be over...but he cannot give up on his way of living.

Vash panel for the collection ♥ (and I kinda get where Legato is coming from.

Savage page....

(in any other scenario that Elendira/Livio blob could be a sexy pose but Nightow had to make one dead and both with a nail stuck through their torso)

Also the image of Elendira and Livio swooshing with high speed through the battlefield to Legato's place...how many poor citizen will be haunted by this picture for the rest of their live??

Because why you would want to work with someone, why you deem someone important, is only based upon their usefulness, right? Hmm, Legato? Mister I-need-to-be-useful-to-Knives?

Just imagine me screaming along with Vash here.

AAAHJDDAD BUUUHUHUHU that...that is Wolfwood in Vash's memory. Smiling, proud, upright, looking forward....aaaah buhuhuu. As I've said in an earlier chapter recap, I tend to overlook the fact that Vash and Wolfwood do NOT have the chance of a future together because of all the fics and art I see and think about, but pages like these always slap me back into reality. Thanks! Damnit.

*making the Cowboy Bebop pose* Baang.

Chapter 2:

Someone wrote smth about this being Wolfwood's ghost talking to Livio. It could be Razlo? Probably not! I'll wait for later in the volume with the other scene to write my thoughts about that.

Savage page...Overkill indeed (Interestingly enough, the "Overkill" title can also refer to what the earth has planned with their attack on Knives!)

And immediately breaking down

I wonder what the meaning is of Vash's coat turning red again. The black was thought to represent to last of his powers being used. But he's not gained any more powers, so was it also a sign of the pressure Legato put on him? Him being cornered, resisting the urge to kill until..he finally couldn't?

Also somebody else already wrote a post lots of weeks ago about how Vash, who lived his whole life after his firm believe to not kill, killed one person in the end for Wolfwood. Because he couldn't bear to let Wolfwood's death be in vain. A life for a life, but one life was indefinitely more important to Vash than the other. And, it's such a cruel story, but I love it. I love it because there's no moral to take from it. Because Vash as the main protagonist does not keep his higher moral ground by never pruposefully killing anyone. And it doesn't matter if it's Legato or a less evil person, the reader has learned throughout this series that this isn't important (and to Vash makes no difference) because a life is a life. Trigun isn't a story where the good people can always do good stuff because sometimes, life doesn't let you. It's just...a story. Shit stuff happens. Good stuff happens. The only thing that is permanent is the hope for the days to go on somehow. I'm getting sentimental before I'm even at the last chapters.

Nightow serving double punch after double punch! Of course now Vash has to get sad as he realizes how much his words must have hurt Wolfwood...and he can't take them back anymore. He can't apologize anymore! And we know they hurt Wolfwood because he's been often enough thinking about them. (But it was also these words that made Wolfwood get up, because he could NOT be a coward, he did NOT want to give up hope) Fuck, these two.

Yeah, I imagine it wasn't that much of a difficult decision for the earth government, sitting far far away, dooming some humans on some distant planet out there.

Silly Vash face!!

Turning them around so I can get a better look at these boys...the way Livio is broken up about this, he KNOWS what it must have meant to Vash. That Vash would take such a sacrifice for him (and for Wolfwood, by that)...I doubt he'd ever thought smb would sacrifice so much for him. Vash just earned himself a sworn brother for forever!

Meryl, who has seen so many memories from Vash's past, maybe she can grasp best what this means for Vash. And finally...finally this is the moment where someone will take some burden from him! And cradle him a bit, Meryl :( That man needs him. While he's laying in your lap, stroke his cheek, comb through his hair, wipe away some of the blood...someone please be soft to him and Meryl, you're the perfect one for the job.

Mr Vance has risen in my esteem!

Aah I have reached my image limit, but I wanted to post the last image with the feather...well. On towards the next chapters!! This will be a long read through but I really enjoy taking my time with this last volume. Gotta do it justice.

[bkdotblog]

Everything Worth Knowing: SLC Reunion Part 1

A brief recap of the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City Reunion Part 1

Hi girls and gays,

Pardon the delay in posting. Not to brag but I am in fact currently on vacation, using a VPN to stream shoddy BravoTV.com footage of the Salt Lake City reunion like a thirsty digital hamster drinking from a thirsty digital hamster’s drinking tube. I know that nobody cares, and in fact most of my followers I have discovered to be sexy lady e-Bots, but I thought all two of you who read these might like to know the facts of my tardiness. Apologies!

Alas, I could not let another week go by without barking my thoughts into the void, like a thirsty digital hamster who also barks. I’m going to sum up some of my thoughts on the reunion part 1, which are mostly negative, and will hopefully be back to share my thoughts on part 2 as soon as I can watch. If you feel inclined, let me know your thoughts on the reunion and season 3 writ large below in the comments. Mary Cosby bless us all,

BK

Key Takeaways

The set design was “dilapidated church.” It looked like a Super Smash Brothers stage, and I loved it. 

2. Some of the ladies took ketamine and shrooms in Zion. For my money it was Whitney, Heather, Jen. Fun! I would have too. Lisa was being weird about it. 

3. Jen Shah called Heather “right before she walked into the courtroom” to enter a guilty plea. What did Heather say? “Good luck!” And then they cried. OK!

4. Heather’s Black Eye mystery was solved in the most anticlimactic way possible. Her repeated assertion that she both does and doesn’t know what happened actually checked out: She was extremely drunk, and embarrassed of how drunk she had been. Unfortunately, her need for a storyline superseded this reserve. Also, even if it isn’t true, now everybody watching thinks Jen punched Heather. Damage done, ten fold. At least we can all move on. 

5. Whitney Rose has become the moral center of the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City universe. When the ladies would get bogged down in meaningless specifics — such as what Meredith meant by she wouldn’t want to file with the SEC at this point in her life because of the “compliance” involved — Whitney would realign them — by reminding that it wasn’t about the content, but the implication that Lisa’s business were financially insecure — with the precision of a master chiropractor. I am a big Wild Rose fan after this season. BRB … lemme go buy some skincare!!

6. Meredith Marks has lost all appeal. At this point, Meredith’s position on the show is purely decorative. During the first non-Jen topic of the night, Meredith reminds the viewers that she has said, time and time again, that her issues with Lisa are not about the hot mic moment. Really? This was news to me… I thought that was the whole thing? (“Don’t come for my fahmlae!”) Instead, it was about the texts she posted after the last reunion, which other than being private are pretty flattering for both sides. Later on she calls Jen to settle a matter of hearsay related to Lisa using the term “pill-popper”. Tell me: Is there anybody on Latter Day Saint's green Earth with less credibility than Jen?

For me, Meredith was at her most interesting last season when Jen was arrested while she was in a bathtub across state lines, basically instantly believed Jen to be guilty, and swore off their friendship. Now she and Heather are swirling the toilet bowl after their BFF Jenny. Utterly pathetic. 

7. The only path forward for Meredith is to reconcile with Lisa. By demonstrating the human quality of forgiveness, Meredith might be able to trick audiences into believing she is more than simply a tennis bracelet brought to life during an occult ritual gone awry. Otherwise… have fun on Ultimate Girls Trip, Mare! 

8. Danna and Angies… I’m not seeing star power. Sorry, girls. There’s always TikTok! But I did appreciate Danna for consistently seeing through Jen's antics. I did not appreciate her blaccent.

9. Lisa Barlow came out on top, but not without taking some hits. Lisa’s sort of byzantine attitude about drugs was a stain on an otherwise perfect reunion. My favorite part was when she was like, “Why are we calling Jen for her thoughts on a particular matter when she is going to jail for deceiving the public?” And everybody was like, “Oooh…” like it was below the belt. It wasn’t!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

10. Next season, we need a devout Mormon housewife to come on the show. She is our only hope of taking Heather down a few notches. 

11. Mary Cosby will also do. I need Her Divine Greatness Ms. Cosby like a thirsty barking hamster needs water. Bravo: Give her what she wants!

[0mrs-evans0]

𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐨𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐦𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫, 𝐝𝐨𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐫

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬: ~1,7k

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: Doctor Andy Barber is the only man who has touched you in months

𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩: Gynecologist!Andy Barber x Married!Fem!Reader (Andy is single, imaginary au - Laurie and Jacob do not exist; Neal Logiudice is reader’s husband)

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: (badly checked) explicit sexual content; explicit language; dub-con (kinda); cheating (reader is married); sexual tension; vaginal fingering; flirting; dirty talk; kinda bad reader?? (materialistic); pet names; squirting; (let me know if I forgot something)

if you want to be added and be notified of any of my fics, please fill this form out

you can find my masterlist here

PART 2

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!! The warning is given, you are responsible for what you read

Your stomach began to hurt and filled up with butterflies while you were waiting for your favorite doctor. It was derogatory, but doctor Andy was the only man who has touched you in months.

Your marriage was awful in many ways, but the sex life was the worst one. Neal couldn’t even find that special spot inside of you that made you feel tingles. You couldn't find a word other than pathetic to describe your husband. You didn’t love Neal, he was a pain in the ass. Nothing else. Wearing Logiudice as the last name was your sad duty.

As a child, your mother kept telling you not to look for love in your life. The most important thing was money. Without it, even love seemed like nothing. You were grateful to her for that. She taught you how to fight for yourself and not to look at the feelings of others. It was much better because no one could hurt you. It was you who hurt.

You have to admit Mr. Barber was not bad. Gorgeous to be honest. His blue eyes, broad arms, and sexy beard. All you could do was fantasize about how it would feel between your legs, leaving a marvelous scratch.

“Mrs. Logiudice!” The assistant's voice woke you up from your trance. The little smile on her perfect, red lips. “Doctor Barber is waiting for you.”

You just smiled, too absorbed in the thought that in a moment you would be able to enjoy the sight of him. Nothing could make your day better.

You knocked lightly on the mahogany door, waiting for those two simple words.

“Come in.” His voice alone made you feel a tingling sensation in the most delicate zone. He has so much power over all your body. No one else has been able to do this.

You pushed lightly on the door to open them. Andy, as usual, was sitting at his large desk, filling some papers.

God, he was so handsome… His veiny, big hands playing with the pen between his fingers. Oh, what you would do to feel them deep inside of you. He was perfect, no one could argue with that.

“It's so nice to see you again, Mrs.Logiudice!” Andy’s bright smile would lighten any of your bad days. “Why don’t we go straight to the reason for your visit today?”

***********

Don’t get too excited. Don’t get too excited. Don’t get too excited.

You kept repeating those words in your head like a damn mantra, you tried not to pay attention to the man nearby, so as not to worsen the condition of your poor pussy. Andy was sitting between your legs, biting his bottom lip concentrating on getting ready for his work.

Holy shit, you were soaked now. Why didn’t you just back out when you first met him? It was obvious that your body would react to any contact he was making. But here you were, bare from the waist down, lying with firmly crossed legs as he dragged various equipment needed for the check-up.

You knew your pussy was impossibly wet. Your husband didn't get you so worked up in months, maybe years and here - Andy hasn't even touched you yet. You had to hold back a moan when he got closer to your bare thighs. You didn't even notice when you started to shake.

“Everything’s alright honey?” Andy obviously didn’t know what that name between his plump lips was doing to you. “If you’re not feeling alright we can move our meeting to another term.”

“No, no! I’m all good, doc.” You said with a little smile on your face. “Just nervous.”

It was true after all. You were stressed but not in the way Andy thought. You were scared that your juices would leave a stain on the towel placed on the gynecologist chair.

“If you say so…” Andy smiled, placing his gloved hand on one of your thighs, for your misfortune - so damn close to your dripping cunt. You could feel the pulsing of need bubbling in your most intimate area. “Okay…” He murmured to himself starting the examination.

Your head dropped back on the chair, there was no way back now. He was seconds away from finding out just how much excited you were to him touching you.

“Let me know if you’ll feel uncomfortable or want me to stop, okay?” You nodded at his words, feeling troublesome because of how wet your pussy was. You were trying damn hard to keep your slick from dripping onto the leather chair you were lying on.

You inhaled the deep breath you didn’t know you were holding when Andy spread your crossed legs. World seemed to slow down when he got a good look at your bare cunt. You tried to crawl back up the chair when Andy’s face was dangerously close to your core.

“Baby, you’re soaked.” You could tell the difference in his now even deeper voice. “So pretty…”

You didn’t say anything. Too embarrassed to think about something clever.

“So worked up…” He smiled to himself. “You’re this wet just for me?”

“I-uh, I…” What do you say when your gynecologist just saw your slick dripping down on his chair in his office? “It’s not, it’s not what it looks like…” You said with a shaking voice.

“Honey, in my opinion - it’s exactly what I see and think it is.” He cowed at the sore expression that showed on your face.

“Fuck!” You cursed under your breath. “I’m so sorry doctor, I’m just gonna leave and pretend like it never happened.”

You tried to stand up on your shaky legs but his strong arms pulled you down on the chair again. “How could I live with myself knowing that I left such a pretty little thing like you high and dry…”

“Doc… What do you mean?” You were screwed, you know that by the tingle that flew by your pussy at the image what that muscular man could do to you. However, you weren't some cheap whore. You weren’t sure if you wanted it that way. “I don’t…” You take a deep breath in. “I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“Oh, honey!” You could feel his breath on your cheek. “I think it’s the best idea in my whole life” Andy purred to your ear. You could feel the waves of excitement flowing in your body, replacing the previous, budding feeling of insecurity. “Lemme just take it off of you.”

His fingers brushed your shoulder as he pulled down the strap of your tiny sundress. “Always teasing me with these little skirts of yours…” Andy kissed his way down your neck leaving little love bites from time to time. “Bet you didn’t even know what you were doing to me, did you?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, doc.” You moaned in the response. That wasn’t true. You were doing all of this on purpose, trying to make him take the initiative. Then why weren't you sure if you want him now? “I-I have a husband! I don’t think I want that…”

“You sure ‘bout that, honey?” His smile will be the death of you soon enough, you knew it. “I’m just gonna help you relax a bit”

His finger teased your clit before you even had a second to blink. He was sliding deep into your channel. “God… Andy!” You couldn’t help the moan that escaped from your mouth. It felt good after all. Your hands sliding up Andy’s chest to clutch at his shoulders. You didn’t want him to stop, not now when you were so close to cumming.

“You gotta be more quiet for me… Can you do that, baby?” Andy’s deep voice made you feel some kind of way. “Don’t want anyone to walk on us now, do you?”

You just shook your head too absorbed in the pleasure. “Just please don’t stop! Don’t stop Andy!” Your eyes rolled back as you clenched around his digit. He was stroking your walls slowly with two fingers inside of you.

Andy hummed something to himself when you practically devoured him. “You’re so tight, fuck! See how good I can make you feel?” You tipped your back to meet his now dark, lustful gaze. “Did that prick, husband of yours, ever made you feel like this?”

“No! Not even half this good!” You could have sworn Neal was able to hear your scream from his office. There was no comparison. Andy was giving you the best experience you ever had.

“Your walls are so wet and warm” He whispered into the skin of your neck. “I could come just from the feeling of them”

His confession made you shiver with anticipation. It wasn’t enough though, you started moving your hips up and down on Andy’s fingers. His other hand grabbed your throat, squeezing lightly just for you to feel who’s in charge here.

You cried out when his digit started to hit your g-spot with every thrust. The sensation made your walls throb hard. “Are you close, baby? I can feel you squeezing the shit out of me” He smirked and started to pump even with more vigor. You whimpered as you got closer and closer to your long-awaited orgasm.

“Yes, fuck yes!” He muted your cries and screams with his own mouth. Kissing you for the first time. You couldn’t hold back when the stream of juices burst out from your sore pussy. “Jesus baby, you’ve just squirted” Andy’s lips were on your again, dancing with your tongue. “Have you ever done that before?” He asked with something dangerous in his eyes.

“No...” You admitted shyly. “Just with you, Andy”

[theteasetwrites]

The Beginning Is the End Is the Beginning

Chapter 86: American Dreaming

❧ Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Female Reader ❧ Era: Season 11 ❧ Pronouns: she/her ❧ Warnings: sexuality (not smut, but sexy lol), mild swearing ❧ Word Count: 6k

❧ In This Chapter: You finally come face-to-face with the governor's son, who doesn't impress you much, and an offer from Carol to watch the kids for the night gives you and Daryl an opportunity to have a real first date in the Commonwealth.

❧ A/N: Okay, this WAS going to be a smut chapter, but I got a little too caught up in the fluff so the smut will be continued in the next chapter! For now, there's just a tad bit of teasing in this chapter. Reader also meets Sebastian for the first time which was fun because she doesn't take his shit and I love that for her.

The Commonwealth Library was… different from any library you ever worked at. Maybe because it was public, and you always worked at university libraries, or maybe because it had everything a normal library from back in the day would have had, and you had all but forgotten that such amenities even existed.

Though the internet that existed at the Commonwealth was not like it was before, it was enough to facilitate the ease of information through computers, of which there were many at the library.

Computers, printers, xerox machines, microfilm and microfiche readers… It was overwhelming for you, and knowing that one day you’d return home, where such technology was much more limited due to the more modest power grid.

Three weeks of working in a very official library, however, was, you had to admit, a breath of fresh air, and the collection was impressive. Whoever had curated this library had clearly raided various historical and governmental sites in Washington D.C., considering important historical documents like the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution were on full display in hermetically-sealed glass boxes, with constant security guards (stormtroopers in Commonwealth Army uniforms, of course) standing by to defend the once precious artifacts of human civilization.

Even beyond that, the library was impressive.

The building was intricate, and certainly had once been in a library before the world fell. It was built in the style of Georgian architecture with clear Greco-Roman influences, and the dark wood paneling with intricate details was a cherry on top in terms of sophistication.

The place was huge, with tall, open ceilings stretching up to the third floor, and high, regal paned windows that you only knew must’ve been a pain to clean. They overlooked a lush, green courtyard around which the rest of the building wrapped, and in the center of that courtyard was a grand fountain with none other than a statue of the great Miss Pamela Milton’s father as the centerpiece amidst delicate streams of crystal clear water.

For all its grandeur, it was first and foremost a place of learning, you thought. Though your responsibilities were much more menial than they once had been, you supposed your job was much less stressful than what it was in the old world, and at least you had the pleasure of getting to know the other citizens of the Commonwealth.

“After Many a Summer Dies the Swan,” you said, scanning the barcode on the back of the old book you recognized quite well. The patron nodded, a young man in his late teens, you surmised, bespectacled and reminiscent of what you might’ve called back in the day a “nerd.”

“I read this in college,” you said. “It’s about…” You looked up at the ceiling, trying to remember the plot. “This crazy scientist trying to figure out how to stop the aging process or something, right?”

“Yeah,” said the young man, eagerly grinning at the book in your hands. “I’ve actually read it before. I love Huxley’s work, ever since I read Brave New World last year. Can’t get it out of my head.”

“Mmm,” you hummed in reminiscence of the familiar novel. “I guess the world was getting kind of close to that before it all ended.”

“I wouldn’t remember,” the young man shrugged. “I was pretty small. But I know a lot of people high up want to see it become just like it was. Kind of wild to think about, if the world was so messed up.”

You nodded in agreement, and closed the dusty book before sliding it across the counter into the man’s hands. “The world’s always going to be messed up in one way or another, I guess. Just a different kind of messed up.”

From behind the young man came an impatient throat clearing, bringing to your attention that someone was in line behind the man.

“It’s due on November fifteenth,” you said with a genuine smile, happy to have had even the smallest conversation with someone new. “Enjoy rereading it.”

“Thanks, ma’am,” said the young man, who seemed eager to scurry off when he realized who was behind him.

You didn’t know him, on account of never seeing him before, but he had an air of entitlement around him that seemed to intrigue the other patrons sitting at their desks and browsing through the stacks nearby. Some bickered quietly amongst each other, and others tried to avoid eye contact with the man, who appeared to be in his mid to late twenties.

“Hi,” he said, smiling with the misplaced confidence that probably would have been better suited to a man with a less punchable looking face. “I’m having trouble finding a book.”

Ah, yes, one of your favorite tasks. You loved the challenge of tracking down books for those who couldn’t navigate the call number system themselves, or just had no idea where to look when it appeared the book in question was missing. It could’ve been a multitude of places, perhaps on a refile shelf or on a book truck just waiting to be reshelved and returned to the appropriate destination.

“Okay,” you said. “Do you have the call number?”

He pulled a small sheet of paper from his coat pocket and slid the note towards you.

“JC 329… Did you look in the stacks?”

He scoffed and raised an eyebrow, obviously annoyed and impatient with your questioning. “Of course I did, it wasn’t there. Jesus, this is a library, how are we supposed to read shit if the books aren’t where they’re supposed to be?”

You swallowed hard, taken aback by the sudden aggression in his voice. Perhaps you hadn’t dealt with disgruntled patrons in years, but it still felt inordinately uncomfortable.

“Okay, I’ll be right back, I’m just going to check the back, see if it’s in processing.”

You searched high and low on the prep shelves and the prep trucks for the call number, double checking and checking again to make sure it really wasn’t there.

Upon returning to the front desk, the man was clearly disappointed that you were still empty handed. “New plan,” you said, “I’ll check the database, see where the book is according to that, okay?”

He rolled his eyes and held his chin upon the desk as he blew a deep breath. “Go on,” he said. “But hurry up, I’ve got things to do today.”

Asshole, you thought. So do I. I’ve got better things to do than waiting on little pricks like you, and I certainly don’t get paid enough for it.

You flashed a fake smile, reminiscent of the lifeless, painted-on grins on Barbie dolls. “No problem,” you said, typing quickly on the chunky keyboard.

“Oh, that’s why we couldn’t find it,” you said, still trying to hang onto your carefully crafted, ultra-feminine and sickly sweet customer service voice. “Someone’s already checked it out. That’s not super common but it happens. There’s nothing we can do right now but I can put the book on hold for you when it returns, and call you in to pick it up. Does that sound all right?”

He shook his head and scoffed with that annoying little smile of his that you were frankly getting tired of looking at. “Listen, sweetheart,” he said, immediately sending you into bitchy librarian mode, “I need you to expedite that book for me, call the asshole who’s got it and tell ‘em a very important patron needs it. Can you do that for me?”

You scoffed and almost burst out into disbelieving laughter, but instead you just looked at him in awe. No one had ever asked such a thing in all your years of dealing with patrons, even the particularly rude ones.

“No,” you said simply. “I can’t do that. You’ll just have to wait until it’s returned. It’d be one thing if it were past its due date, but it’s not.”

His face tightened and he leaned forward, causing you to lean back and away from his rather weasel-like face. “Do you have any idea who I am, lady?” he asked. “My mother can put your ass on the streets for looking at me the wrong way, so I really don’t have the patience for this kind of attitude.”

You did laugh this time, letting out a snort and covering your mouth when you realized he wasn’t joking. “Oh,” you said, composing yourself again. “Momma’s boy, huh? Okay, well, I’ll get right on that. I’ll phone the patron and let him know there’s a little boy here throwing a tantrum over a public library book. I’m sure he’ll understand.”

He snarled and straightened to his full height, which wasn’t any taller than you. “You’re gonna regret that,” he said. “No one talks to me like that.”

You shrugged. “I just did. Unless you have some other business here, there’s not much else I can help you with. Goodbye.”

Tired of dealing with the petulant man, you placed a BE BACK SOON sign upon the desk and retreated to the back, ignoring whatever words he had to say to you as you turned your back to him.

Immediately upon entering the access services department, one of your co-workers, Ginger, walked up to you, frantically wringing her hands and looking wide-eyed at you. “Do you have any idea who that was?” she whispered shakily.

You furrowed your brow and laughed. “Um, yeah, some guy who pissed me off. Why?”

She shook her head and pulled you close by the arm, looking around as if to make sure no one heard. “That’s Sebastian Milton,” she said. “You know, Pamela Milton’s son?”

“Ohhh,” you said, nodding your head in realization. That was the same little shit who’d been teasing Daryl lately, giving him condescending little orders and generally being an ass. “Guess I ruined my chances of getting invited to the masquerade ball, huh?”

Ginger shook her head again, clearly much more serious about this than you were. “You can’t talk to the Miltons like that, or anyone on their level like that.”

“Well, he was being rude,” you defended. “I went half of my life letting people like that walk all over me, Ginger. I wasn’t about to give him the satisfaction, I don’t care whose kid he is. Besides, no harm done.”

Ginger looks aghast. “You really don’t get it, do you? Sebastian can do anything he wants around here. He’s done it for years. Even just a little thing like that can put you on his shitlist, and you don’t want to be on his shitlist.”

You scoffed, and waved your hand, dismissing Ginger’s concerns. “What, he’s going to put a hit on me or something?”

In fact, he probably did have the ability to do such a thing, but you weren’t scared of him. You’d been hunted by worse things and worse people to be scared of a sniveling prep school kid.

“Just be careful,” she said. “That’s all I’m saying.”

Back in the dingy dorm room you called home, you were helping Judith with her science homework while Robin and RJ read their short story assigned to them from class that day. Dog chewed on a bone in the corner, gnawing on the marrow and whimpering every once in a while when he felt he wasn’t getting the attention he deserved.

“Mommy?” asked Robin, looking up from her book. “Can we take Dog for a walk? I think he needs enrichment.”

You rolled your eyes in amusement at the child’s use of the new word she’d learned from her advanced vocabulary workbook. “I’m helping Judith with her homework right now, sweetie.”

“RJ and me can go,” said Robin, intent on being independent for once.

Perhaps if you were still in Alexandria, surrounded by people you knew well and trusted, but the Commonwealth was so much bigger, and two six-year-olds out on their own in a world they didn’t know very well seemed like a recipe for disaster, and the idea of anything happening to them sent your heart rate through the roof. “After we’re done with Judith’s homework, okay?”

“Okay,” pouted Robin, returning to her reading as you helped Judith understand the basics of the water cycle.

Minutes later, a knock came at the door, and Robin eagerly jumped up to answer it (with your permission, of course).

“Oh, hi Aunt Carol,” Robin said, projecting her tiny, lilted voice in an attempt to seem more mature.

“Well, hello there, Miss Dixon,” said Carol, who seemed to be holding a box of cookies from Elodie’s in her hands.

“Are those cookies?” asked RJ with a gasp, letting his book fall to the floor before running over to Carol.

Judith raised an eyebrow at you. “Guess reading time’s over, huh?”

“Mhm,” you said, rising to your feet to greet Carol, who was now handing out one pumpkin-shaped sugar cookie to each six-year-old. “Exactly what they need—sugar,” you said with a laugh. “What do you say, children?”

Robin chewed her cookie before speaking, as she knew it was impolite to speak with her mouth open. “Thank you, Aunt Carol,” the two children sang out, not quite insync with each other.

“I was going to say it, Momma, I swear,” insisted Robin.

You gently tugged on her messy braid, done in a hurry by a very stressed out Daryl before he left for work that morning. “I know, honey.”

“You’re welcome,” Carol chuckled. “Hey, I’m gonna steal your mom for a second. (Y/N), come out to the hallway with me?”

You sat the box of cookies Carol handed to you on the small bedside table Daryl had fished out of the trash a while back, then turned to the younger children, knowing Judith had enough self-control and a good sense of delayed gratification.

“No more until I get back, cookie monsters.” You turned back to Judith, sitting cross-legged on her sleeping pad as she continued her work. “Hold down the fort?”

“Mhm,” hummed Judith.

“I’ll be right outside if you need me,” you said, gently closing the door and keeping a watchful eye on the children as long as you could until they couldn’t be seen anymore. Maybe you were a little overprotective at times, but especially in this dilapidated tenement building, you hated to leave them alone, even just for a few minutes. “What’s up?”

Carol folded her arms over her chest and let out a chuckle. “Well, mother goose, just wanted to see how you’re doing.”

“Fine,” you said. “I mean, given the circumstances.” You gestured to the surrounding hallway, grimy and shaking with the heavy footsteps of the tenants upstairs. “Daryl says we might get that apartment in a few weeks. His training’s going pretty well.”

Everyone else from your group had gotten new apartments since arriving, except for your household and Rosita’s, probably because she and Daryl were still in basic training.

“It comes with furniture and all that,” you said. “It has a bathroom and a kitchen… Three bedrooms.”

You practically sighed in pleasure at the idea of having a room to yourself, somewhere away from the children for just a while.

“Getting tired of the one room thing, huh?”

“Well, it’s good for keeping an eye on the kids, but I don’t think Daryl and I have spent more than twenty minutes alone together since we got here. I miss our private time, you know?”

Carol seemed to have an idea forming as she developed that intrigued look upon her face.

“How about I take the kids tonight?” she said. “I’ll take ‘em back to my place and we can bake and watch movies or something.”

You blinked in disbelief. “You’d do that?”

“Of course. I’m their favorite aunt, after all.”

“Oh, but what about school tomorrow?” you asked frantically, suddenly trying to arrange the children’s schedule in your head. “Do you want to take them to school? You don’t have to, I can pick them up and take them, or Daryl can, or—”

“(Y/N),” she laughed, holding your shoulders firmly in her hands. “I will take them to school. Why don’t you just have a nice night with Daryl, huh? Maybe go out to eat or something, like a real date.”

Oh, that sounds nice, you thought.

“Are you sure?” you asked. “I mean, thank you, but—”

Carol rolled her eyes and gently pushed past you, opening the door and calling out to the kids. “Come on, you guys. Grab your backpacks. Sleepover at Aunt Carol’s tonight.”

Robin looked curiously at you behind Carol, as if to ask your permission.

“Go on,” you sighed. “Pack some jammies and a fresh change of clothes. Oh, and your toothbrushes and your floss.”

RJ wasted no time in jumping up from his bean bag chair and slinging the other children their bags.

“Why are we staying at Aunt Carol’s?” asked Robin, always so curious.

“Well,” you began to say, but Carol beat you to it.

“It’s date night,” said Carol. “You remember date night, right?”

Robin blushed and giggled as she shoved her favorite denim overalls into her bag. “Oh,” she said. “Alone time for Mommy and Daddy, so they can kiss and stuff.”

“Ew!” exclaimed RJ, grimacing at the idea of his aunt and uncle kissing. “That’s disgusting.”

You scoffed at the children, slightly blushing now yourself.

“Can we bring Dog?” asked Robin, causing Dog’s ears to perk up at the mention of his name. “He wants to go for a walk.”

“Just take his food and water bowls. And keep him on his leash until you get to Aunt Carol’s,” you said, and with a kiss upon each of their heads (including Dog’s), you sent them off with their aunt, though not before you spoke to her one last time.

“Easy on the sugar,” you whispered. “RJ will be bouncing off the walls and Robin will start talking a mile a minute.”

Carol laughed. “I’d love to see that,” she said.

“And make sure they’re all in bed by nine,” you said. Carol had never taken care of the kids by herself before, so it seemed only natural to give her the rundown. “Robin can only sleep with a nightlight so if you have something like that it would be great. Oh, and sometimes she gets these little night terrors, and she’s been sleepwalking a lot more lately. Just make sure she doesn’t hurt herself. If she can’t get to sleep we usually give her a warm glass of milk and that knocks her out. Um, I think that’s it…”

Carol laughed and shook her head. “Stop worrying,” she said. “They’re going to be just fine. Enjoy your alone time with Daryl. I’m sure you’ve got plenty of kissing and stuff to do.”

Indeed, you spent the remainder of time before Daryl came home beautifying yourself as best you could, draping yourself in the blush pink wrap dress you brought from Alexandria and dolling yourself up with the minimal bits of makeup you made room in your bag for.

Not that Daryl ever cared about that kind of thing, of course. He’d find you just as beautiful even if you were covered in walker blood or caked in mud, but you always felt the most beautiful in pretty, delicate dresses, with the soft tickles of fabric upon your bare legs, and the feeling of confidence that measly piece of fabric could give you.

Plus, Daryl loved seeing you in your dresses, knowing just how happy they made you.

When he came through the door, his eyes immediately darted around the room, looking in every direction for his little ones (and his dog).

“Where are the kids?” he asked, a slight sense of urgency in his voice, though he knew if you were here, they were probably all right wherever they were.

You stood up from your sleeping pad where you sat updating your journal and crossed over to him with a skip in your step and a sweet smile on your face.

“Spending the night at Aunt Carol’s,” you said, bringing your hands up to knead his tense shoulders. “It’s just us tonight… All night.”

Your hands trailed up the curve of his neck and cupped his cheeks to bring his lips to yours, chapped and worn from exposure, but still so soft and welcoming as always.

His lips parted for you shortly, taking in your tongue and letting it soak up his with your sweet saliva. His strong hands fit like a puzzle piece above your hips, pulling you closer to his body until you sunk your entire body weight into him, sending him stumbling backwards a few steps until he caught himself with a laugh.

“Jesus, woman,” he mumbled, now holding your face and caressing the apple of your cheek with his thumb. “Gimme a second to breathe, huh, angel? Had a bad day.”

Your shoulders slumped in sadness. If anyone deserved a good day, it was him, and those seemed in short supply lately.

“What happened?” you asked, guiding him over to your sleeping pad and pushing his shoulders down until he sat cross-legged upon the firm mat. You quickly sat yourself next to him and maneuvered his head until it rested upon your breast, while your arms snaked around his back and held him against you. “Mercer again?”

“Mmm,” he mumbled, closing his eyes and embracing your warmth around him, and that sweet smell of rose and lilac with a hint of gentle citrus that always lingered about you. “Tellin’ ya, he’s got it out for me.”

You laughed and kissed his hair. “No he doesn’t, baby. Apparently he’s like that with everyone. Harsh. I know it’s hard to deal with, especially since you’ve been so spoiled by your sweet, compassionate, loving wife for so long.”

He grimaced and grunted somewhere between agreement and playfulness. “Yeah… They take Dog with ‘em, too?”

You rolled your eyes and lifted his head up to face you. “Yes, Daryl. Everyone’s fine. What, you want me to go pick them up?”

“Nah,” he said rather quickly. “Nah, just… She know about the sleepwalkin’? And how she needs ‘er nightlight? Milk for when she can’t sleep?”

“Yes!” you laughed. “She knows, I told her. She’s taking them to school tomorrow, too. Is that okay with you, muffin?”

He rolled his eyes at the pet name. “S’fine… So, uh… we gonna do somethin’?”

His fingertip trailed absentmindedly up your bare arm, and played with the sleeve of your dress when he reached your shoulder.

“Mmm,” you hummed at his playful touch. “What do you wanna do, cutie pie?”

He shrugged and quirked his lip. “I’m hungry,” he said.

You raised an eyebrow and leaned forward to lick his lips, rubbing his chest over his filthy black thermal shirt all the while. “Oh, really?” you whispered against his mouth. “I’ve got something you can eat.”

You took his hand and reached it down to cup your mound, but when he broke out into a chuckle, you looked at him in utter confusion. “What?” you asked with a smile.

“I mean I’m really hungry, woman,” he said. “Could use a burger or somethin’.”

You bit your lip in an attempt to hold back your wide smile. “Let’s go on a date,” you said. “That little diner downtown…” Your smile faltered when Daryl began shaking his head. “Oh, pleeease, baby?”

“Too much money,” he said. “Money we don’t got.”

You frowned and pouted as you slowly reached your hand out to scratch his chin, which he had no choice but to let happen, since he loved the feeling so much.

“Please, Daryl?” you asked sweetly. “Only way you’re getting a burger is if we go to that diner. Besides, it’s not that expensive, and we’ve got enough money on our spending cards. I’ll pay for it, I just want to have a real date. Please?”

He closed his eyes and groaned, somewhere between reluctant acceptance and pleasure. Opening one eye to look at you, his nose scrunched up in adorable faux annoyance at your pouty, doe-eyed face, though he could never really be annoyed at you.

“Fine,” he finally said, causing you to gasp and throw your arms around him, nearly knocking him back.

“Oh, thank you,” you laughed, and pulled away to kiss his lips firmly. Looking up and down his body, you realized he was in desperate need of a wardrobe change if you were going to go out. “Why don’t you take a shower and change, hm?”

He bit his lip as he looked you over, himself realizing how much effort you’d put into your appearance for him. It was always so cute back at home when things were stable enough for you and him to have your little “date nights,” with you dragging out the iron and ironing board to smooth out the wrinkles in your favorite dress at the moment, then meticulously doing your hair until you found it suitable for Daryl’s approval, even though he wouldn’t care if your head was shaved.

Yes, he knew he needed to try to look half as put-together as you did.

“Okay,” he said. “Be right back.”

He emerged from the bathroom with his hair blown dry, looking much fluffier and less greasy than it had in a long time, and his face fresh and clear from the cleansing heat of the shower. His wardrobe, though, stunned you.

He’d finally put on that light blue linen button-up with quarter-length sleeves you’d gotten him, and it fit him so well. Well, it might’ve been a little small around his chest and shoulders, where most shirts tended to hug his broad upper frame, but to you, the conforming of the fabric to his body only reminded you once again of just how much you wanted him, especially with your hormones running wild from the presence of a little human growing in your belly.

Of course, he wore his dark blue jeans and his brown boots, but it wouldn't have been your Daryl if he wore anything else.

“Aw,” you cooed, holding your hands on either side of your face and shaking your head at how great he looked. “You look so good!”

You skipped over to him and twirled him around, much to his embarrassment as he huffed and puffed with each little giggle you made. Of course, you did take the opportunity to admire his ass while you were modeling him.

“You done lookin’ at my ass, girl?” he asked over his shoulder

You smirked and turned him back around, eager to look at his face once again. As you expected, his eyes shone like two brilliant, electric sapphires, and the cool toned highlights in his deep brown hair that seemed to darken with age were more prominent, complimenting his light olive skin tone.

“I told you the blue would bring out your eyes,” you said, playing with the lapels of his shirt. “You’re so handsome. You know, you should let me buy you clothes more often. I have great taste.”

He shrugged his shoulders and circled his arms in an attempt to loosen the shirt around his chest. “It’s tight,” he said.

You frowned and stepped back to see if he looked too constrained in his shirt. “Is it uncomfortable? I can take it back, get a bigger size.” Of course, you rather liked how tight it was on him, but his comfort was more important to you than the pleasure you got from looking at his bulky build.

“Nah,” he said, realizing how much it meant to you that he liked his shirt. He smiled and gazed at you with a softness in his eyes that immediately soothed you. “It’s perfect.”

You got lost in his eyes for a moment, then realized he needed one more thing to complete the look. “Oh, your vest,” you said, turning to the coat hanger on the wall to pluck the leather garment from its hanger. “Can’t forget the vest.”

You smoothed out the familiar piece of outerwear, each crease of the worn black fabric reminding you that this old vest had been with Daryl since the very beginning, and it had seen everything you had seen. Daryl without his vest was still Daryl, but you did love his vest, and how uniquely him it was.

Not to mention Robin’s wing she’d painted on some months back, which only increased the value of the vintage vest Daryl had picked up at a pawn shop in the middle of nowhere, Georgia.

“Thanks,” he said, and his sentence was punctuated by the roar of his stomach.

“Was that your stomach?” you laughed. “Oh, poor baby. You really are hungry.”

He scoffed and began pulling you towards the door. “I could eat a horse,” he said, and the two of you were off to the diner, walking hand-in-hand, per your request.

It felt strange sitting across from Daryl in a restaurant, ordering food and drinking from a strawberry milkshake for two (though Daryl ordered a beer, too).

You watched in amusement as Daryl took a bite out of his burger, which tasted different from anything he’d tried to barbecue at Robin’s birthday parties.

“Good?” you asked, but you knew by his grunts and little groans of pleasure that it must’ve been pretty good.

“Mhm,” he mumbled with his mouth full. “Yours good?”

You looked down at your grilled cheese sandwich and side of fries, the only vegetarian option on the menu that wasn’t a house salad.

“It’s very good…” You furrowed your brow and reached forward to wipe the globs of ketchup and mustard out of the sparse beard hairs around his mouth as he licked his fingers of the grease from his burger. “Messy, huh?”

Daryl shook his head and picked up his napkin to get the excess out of his beard. “(Y/N),” he said, still sloppily chewing his food and eliciting a great deal of amusement from you, “it ain’t a real burger unless you got half of it on your face ‘fore you’ve even finished it.”

“Sure,” you laughed. “Hey, this is a real date, like in the old world.”

He chewed another bite of his burger and looked at you with a curious glance, this time finishing his bite before speaking. “Yeah,” he said. “‘Cept a woman like you’d never look my way in the old world.”

You chewed the last bite of one half of your sandwich and threw a playful shove at his shoulder. “Stop,” you said. “You know that’s not true. If I saw you walking down the street before all this, I’d say, ‘hey, who’s that cute, slightly scruffy-looking, guy with the amazing arms and—’”

He tilted his head and gave you that famous mock glare he often gave when you were about to go on and on about how attractive he was.

“My point is,” you continued, “I’d watch you stuff your face with a burger even if the world never ended. Besides, none of that matters now, anyway.”

Daryl’s eyes drifted across the crowded diner, watching the much more adapted citizens of the Commonwealth chowing down on their burgers and various other American diner fare. He spotted in particular a disgruntled customer arguing with the waitress about the check, demanding to receive a discounted price on a less than satisfactory meal.

“It matters here,” he said. “World’s just like how it used to be.”

You followed his gaze and watched the customer fork over his spending card with a few curses directed towards the waitress, and a promise that he’d never return to this establishment again, and that his hard-earned cash was better spent elsewhere.

“Why do ya think they wanna have money again?” Daryl asked. “Our group was doin’ just fine without it. Think it causes more problems than anything else.”

You turned back to face him with a shrug. “Maybe just to feel like things are normal,” you said. “Money, government, social hierarchy… American dream. Reminds us we’re human, different from the dead. I mean, I don’t agree with it, but maybe it’s just what keeps them going here.”

“They’re tryin’ to make it like the old world,” he said. “Don’t get why they ain’t just tryin’ to make a new one. That’s the only way… Learn from the past, build a better future, different from before. Better than before.”

You broke out into a little laugh, taking a dainty sip of your shared milkshake.

“What?” he asked.

“Nothing,” you said. “Just love it when you’re like this.”

He narrowed his eyes with a hint of playfulness behind his slight suspicion. “Like what?”

“Optimistic,” you said, returning your lips to the straw.

“Pfft,” he scoffed, leaning forward and taking his straw in his mouth, causing you to laugh at the corniness of your position—sitting across from each other, drinking from straws in the same pink milkshake in an Americana-themed diner from the fifties. He nudged his nose against yours, making you snort and accidentally blow through your straw, sending a splash of the milkshake up into his face.

“Agh!”

“Oh,” you said, turning serious as you started wiping your face with your napkin and pulling a few more from the dispenser to wipe his face, too. “Sorry, sweetie.” You threw way too many napkins at his face, standing up in your chair to clean him up as you broke out into an unstoppable laughter.

He shook his head, himself graced with a face-splitting smile that formed into a gradual laughter. “Ain’t funny,” he laughed, the sound of which was so pure and boyish and perhaps unlike any laughter you’d heard from him before. “Got milkshake in my eyes, woman.”

“Sorry,” you laughed. “I didn’t mean it.”

He let out a snort of his own as he continued wiping his face, still chuckling under his breath until the laughter died down. “Guess our first date ain’t goin’ so good, huh?”

You sat back down in your chair and straightened out your dress, and suddenly, at the sight of him licking the milkshake from his lips, you felt a little too turned on to keep your hands, or feet, away from him.

“Oh, I think it’s going great,” you said, biting your lip as you watched him lick his. “And it’s only just started.”

You slipped your right foot from your heel and ventured to lift the edge of his jeans with your toes, rubbing his calf as you bent forward a little to (hopefully) show off your cleavage. Though you held his eye contact for a moment, he seemed entranced by your chest, letting his gaze sink down to the tight line formed by your plump, slightly engorged breasts pressed together underneath your dress. If there was one thing he couldn’t resist, especially when you were pregnant, it was those two perfect, soft globes that always fit so wonderfully in his hands.

He couldn’t even feel your foot rubbing his knee now, but he certainly felt the tightness in his pants, and a strain just begging to be satiated. You knew the redness in his face meant he was holding something back, so you relieved him for a moment by pulling your foot from his jeans and dragging it to his crotch for just a light rub of his hard-on.

Daryl’s eyes widened as he looked around the diner in a frantic motion, still trying to keep his cool but quite clearly losing it.

“H-hey,” he drawled rather loudly to the waitress passing by. “C-can we get the check? Now? Soon as possible, please.”

The waitress looked terrified of Daryl, his face now beginning to drip with sweat and his hair rustled from his own nervous actions, all while you still delicately teased his crotch with your bare foot over his jeans.

You reluctantly removed your foot and cleared your throat, calling the waitress’s attention to you, the slightly more put-together of the two at the moment. “At your earliest convenience,” you said politely to the young woman.

As soon as she left, you smirked and shook your head in amusement at Daryl’s impatience. “Should we go back to my place?” you asked.

He scoffed and wiped his brow of the sweat that had accumulated there. “Thought ya never sleep with a guy on the first date, not even if he’s cute.”

Daryl’s ability to quote you from ten years ago never failed to impress you. “Mmm,” you hummed in agreement. “Well, I just have a good feeling about you, Daryl Dixon.”

~

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