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fruitcoops · 3 years ago

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I think it would be really interesting for leo and sirius to talk ab how they both didn’t go to college and how they both joined the nhl at 18 but had v different upbringings

Ooo, I like this one! I’m always down for some Cap and Knutty bonding. SW credit goes to @lumosinlove!

TW for mentioned bad parenting

“Kinda weird, isn’t it?” Leo said, breaking the nighttime silence after many long minutes of just their breathing. Sirius hummed in question. “Starting all this so young.”

Sirius made a noncommittal noise and Leo shifted, never taking his eyes off the sky. There was too much light pollution to see the stars properly in Gryffindor, but the roof of the rink didn’t have a bad view; the planes flying overhead brought pinpricks of brightness to the indigo blur.

“Was it hard for you?”

He heard Sirius’ coat move. “Was what hard?”

“Starting the NHL at eighteen.”

There was a long beat of silence. “Sometimes.”

“I didn’t know if I would make it,” Leo confessed, still barely above a murmur. Nobody else was around, but it didn’t feel right to talk in normal voices. The whole world was muted, save for the noise of the city below them. “There was just so much to do.”

Sirius laughed softly. “I hate to break it to you, rookie, but that doesn’t change.”

“How do you deal with it?”

“Before, or now?”

Leo thought for a moment. “Both.”

“Before, I would go home and shoot pucks until I was too tired to stand up. Sometimes I would read.” It wasn’t a secret, but it still made Leo’s heart hurt to remember. Nobody as kind and hardworking as Sirius deserved that. “Now, I make myself some food, take a shower, and steal Re’s softest hoodie.”

Leo could hear his smile in the dark—it echoed his own. “Nothing better, huh?”

“Nope.”

“Finn’s fit me best,” he mused. “But Lo’s smell better.”

“Ah, he finally discovered deodorant?”

“Shut up,” Leo teased, elbowing his ribs. Sirius laughed a little louder; in the light of the streetlamps and the absence of his granite-hard focus, it was easy to remember that he was only 26. Leo had worshipped him as a kid, but now he just saw Sirius for what he was. His captain, who guided him through the playoffs even when his personal life was crumbling apart. His older brother, though Sirius certainly wouldn’t think of him that way. His friend.

“Really, though, it’s important to have those connections,” Sirius said when they both calmed down. “Being alone is good, but only if you know you have people to talk to when you need them.”

“Was it easier when you weren’t living with someone?”

“No.” The answer was immediate.

“Sometimes I want the apartment to myself.” Leo lowered his voice unconsciously, then sighed. “It’s not because I don’t want them there. I just need to be alone. Wash the dishes. Clean my room. Call my mom.”

“You should tell them.”

He turned his head slightly; Sirius was still scanning the sky. “Is that what you did?”

“It took a couple hiccups, but yeah. If one of us needs some alone time, the other will go to the grocery store or take a walk, maybe hang out with friends. You just have to make sure your boys know that it’s not personal.”

“You’re freakishly good at sage advice.”

Sirius snorted. “Merci, rookie.”

“I’m not a rookie anymore.”

“Yeah, you are.” He raised his hands, as if outlining a marquee. “The Eternal Rookie, starring Leo Knut.”

Leo stuck his tongue out, feeling rather petulant about the whole thing. “Watch it, Cap, I’m gonna sic Dumo on you.”

“My own father?” Sirius gasped dramatically. “How could you?”

“Did you ever get homesick?”

The question was out of the blue—he didn’t blame Sirius for faltering. Honestly, Leo was kicking himself for asking in the first place, though he had been keeping it in for ages. Unspoken rule of the Lions #1: Don’t ask Cap about his childhood.

“I…” Sirius fell silent once more.

“I’m sorry,” Leo apologized, and he meant it. “That came out of nowhere.”

“I missed Regulus,” Sirius continued carefully without acknowledging him. “But no, I didn’t get homesick. I didn’t have time, or a real reason.”

Alone in a new city, finally out of a horrible living situation, but desperately missing the little brother he left behind… Leo couldn’t even begin to imagine going through it when the NHL by itself was already overwhelming to his teenage brain. He scooted an inch closer until their shoulders touched. “I get homesick every couple of months.”

“You have a kind family.”

“Have you even met them?”

“At the party.” Sirius’ smile was practically audible. “Your mother was very excited to see me.”

“Oh, god,” Leo groaned. “What happened?”

“She—“ He broke off with a laugh. “She was very nice, I promise, but I think I surprised her because she squeaked when I said ‘hello’.”

Leo shook his head. “Did you sneak up on her?”

“I’m six two, I can’t sneak up on anyone!”

“You walk like a fucking ghost, dude! It’s creepy!”

“Okay, rude.”

“I swear, you and Loops need to be belled like cats,” Leo huffed.

They lapsed back into comfortable quiet for a few more minutes as a train rattled past on one side and the metro busses rolled down Main Street on the other. It had taken Leo a long time to figure out Gryff’s layout, and even longer to get used to the sounds of the city.

“What does it feel like?”

Leo blinked, unsure if he had heard correctly. “What?”

“Being homesick.” Sirius shifted again and folded his hands over his stomach. “I didn’t notice much of a difference in practices when I started the NHL, and going back to my parents’ house wasn’t my exactly a highlight of my year.”

Curiosity overrode his tact and reasoning skills. “You never asked Logan?”

“Non. It was different, with him. He had already left to go to college before I knew him, and spent four years away from his family.”

“Right.” Leo forgot about that on occasion. That Finn and Logan might be five years older than him, but they had only been rookies a year or two prior. Not everyone went straight from their city select team to an official draft. “It’s hard to describe.”

Sirius made an understanding noise, but he couldn’t entirely mask his disappointment. Leo licked his lips and tried again.

“It’s like a piece of you isn’t where it’s supposed to be. And it keeps tugging on your chest, but you never know when it’s going to start and stop so you just… deal with it. You ignore it some days and you think about it other days.” He swallowed around the lump in his throat. “The hard days are when you remember you can’t go back to the way things were before. I don’t even call my mom sometimes, ‘cause I know it’ll make me sadder.”

“The way things were before?”

“Yeah, like—like all my classmates are in college, and I’m laying on a roof with one of the most famous hockey players in the history of forever.” That drew a light laugh from them both. “I’m gonna go back to my reunion in a couple years and have literally nothing in common with the people I used to be friends with.”

“Sometimes I wish I went to college,” Sirius said. “But I would have missed so much if I did. I don’t think I would have been happy there.”

“Finn and Logan get weird about college.” Maybe he shouldn’t be talking about it, but Leo had the feeling none of their conversation would leave the rooftop. “It was hard for them, with all their shit.”

“Re does, too.” He recognized the sad edge in Sirius’ voice; it was the same as his own. “For a different reason. It started good, and ended bad.”

“I’m glad I missed out on that,” Leo said, biting down the urge to scream at the universe for putting their significant others through so much hardship at an already-difficult time. None of them deserved the pain they went through. “Besides, it’s not like we need degrees to play hockey, and we’ll have plenty of money afterward.”

“I never thought about my life after hockey until my ankle.”

“My parents always pushed me to make sure I wanted to do the NHL instead of more school.”

“You’re lucky to have them.”

“I wish you did.”

The words hung suspended between them before Leo could swallow them back down, somehow dangerous and calming at the same time. It wasn’t like he had never thought about it before; he just hadn’t said it out loud. The first time he had seen Sirius’ parents across the rink had given him a case of the heebie-jeebies so strong he had to shower twice. All the times after that just made him angry.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Sirius’ voice was quiet, but not upset. “You’re not the first person to say it. I’m glad you feel like you can be honest with me.”

Leo frowned. “Well, yeah. Obviously.”

“I try really hard to not be an asshole captain, so it actually does mean a lot.”

“I don’t think you could be an asshole if you tried.”

The barking laugh that split the night startled Leo so bad he nearly jumped out of his skin; Sirius clapped a hand over his mouth, though he was still snickering. “Sorry, sorry, I just—holy shit, I forgot you didn’t know me before. Mon dieu.”

“You weren’t that bad,” Leo protested. “Pots said you used to be grumpier, but that’s it.”

Sirius shook his head, wiping tears of mirth from his eyes. “I was such a dick. There’s not a single picture of the whole team where I’m smiling for about two years and I was such a stickler for the rules.”

Leo gaped at him. “You followed rules?”

“To the fucking letter. It was awful.”

“What happened?”

Sirius shrugged. “I got friends. Idiot friends who did things like showing me the easiest way onto the roof. Pots used to drag me up here every Friday.”

“Really?”

“Ouais.” Mischief flitted over his face. “He skipped date night with Lily once on accident, and she tracked us up here like a bloodhound. It was terrifying.”

“What did you do?” Lily was one of the nicest people Leo knew, but he knew better than to get on her bad side.

“Lied to her face while James hid behind that strobe light.”

“Did it work?”

“Are you kidding?” he snorted. “She called me a liar and suggested getting a better best friend. That was after she told James he’s better have something nice planned for their next date if he ever wanted to get in her pants again.”

“And yet you didn’t listen to her.” Leo tsked. “Of all the people on the team, you chose the hot mess.”

“Trust me, rookie, James had his whole life figured out compared to me.”

“Did you…” Leo trailed off and but his lip. He had pushed his luck a lot already; who knew if one more question would be the tipping point? “Did you ever think about coming out? Even just to Pots.”

Sirius didn’t hesitate. “After every single game.”

“For seven years?”

“Up until the day those pictures were leaked. Even more after Re and I were together.”

“How old were you when you knew?”

“13. You?”

Leo exhaled slowly. “I’m not sure. I think I had an idea of it as a kid, but didn’t really get it until I was in high school. My parents were even more worried about the NHL after I told them.”

“They worry a lot about you.”

“Only child, and I was going for a wildly unstable career path with no guarantee that I would ever see the ice.”

“They’re proud of you. More than you know.” Sirius’ watch beeped. “It’s ten o’clock. Are you supposed to be home?”

“I should probably make sure my boys haven’t burned down the apartment.” Neither of them made an attempt to move. “Can we do this again sometime?”

“Of course.”

You’re like a brother to me, he wanted to say. I don’t know who else I can talk to like this. “Thank you.”

“Any time. We don’t have to do extra practice beforehand, either.”

Leo nudged him gently. “You’re the best captain ever.”

“You’re the best rookie, rookie.”

“I’m not a rookie.”

“Yeah, you are.”

Yeah, I am, he thought as they laid side-by-side in silence once more with the past behind them and the future ahead. And if I end up like you, it means I did something right.

#leo knut #sirius black #coops #oknutzy #finn ohara #logan tremblay #sweater weather #lumosinlove #my fic #fanfic #friendship #cap and rookie

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inkandpen22 · 3 years ago

Text

Permanent Chaos (4/?)

Pairing: MGK x Female!Reader

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: mild swearing

Part Summary: While Y/N is out shopping with Cara, news breaks that ties her with MGK.

Masterlist

Masterlist

Two days later...

Cara and I go out shopping and have lunch for a girl’s day. I have yet to talk about the other night with Sam. Cara hasn’t mentioned it and I have no plans to either. Cameras have followed us up and down Rodeo Drive. By this point, Cara and I are both used to it. Carrying my bags however, I doubt I look graceful for these videos their taking. Oh well, they have fifteen thousand more of me.

“CARA! EXCITED TO WALK IN THE CHANEL FASHION SHOW?”

Cara ignores the paparazzi and points out a dress in the window at Dolce and Gabbana. I request to go inside to try it on. I’m not sure where I’d wear it to, but that doesn’t really matter.

“Welcome ladies!” A woman in a black dress approaches. “Can I help you find anything in particular?”

I point over to the dress in the window, “could I see that in a size six please?”

She leaves us to go find the dress for me and we roam around a small section while she does. My phone rings and I see Nicole’s name pop up. My heart immediately begins to race. She doesn’t call me unless absolutely necessary, usually we text. I step away toward the corner to be discreet.

I answer the call hesitantly. “Nicole? What’s up?”

“I got a call from Stephanie,” she sounds agitated on the other end.

Stephanie is my publicist, she handles everything that Nicole can’t basically. They bicker a lot since they’re both so headstrong and constantly need control. It’s the classic good cop/bad cop scenario, yet I don’t know who’s who. These two cover every aspect of my career, God bless them.

“Oh no, sounds bad,” I grumble anxiously.

“Depends how you look at it,” she lightens her tone.

“What is it?” I press.

“Well…” she hesitates.

“Nicole!” I drag out her name.

“It’s all over social media, magazines and it will be on TMZ tonight,” she stammers. “I’m surprised you haven’t already heard if I’m being honest-”

“Nicole! What?” I rush her.

“An article about you and Colson Baker just dropped on some gossip sight,” she explains. “It says that you and Colson Baker are dating. Stephanie and I figured no one would believe it but it’s everywhere! They have videos and photos of you two leaving The Ivy plus talking by Sam’s car. If I didn’t know you, I would be convinced.”

My head hangs low as I rub my forehead, letting out a deep sigh. “Oh dear God.”

“We can handle it, don’t worry!” Nicole assures. “This story will be gone soon!”

“I need to go, talk to you later!” I hang up on Nicole right when the woman shows me the dress.

“I’ll take it” I attempt to hurry up the process.

Cara comes up next to me “don’t you think you should try it on first?”

“I’ll explain later but we need to go” I whisper to her and just like that, she’s hurry the woman along at the register.

I have the dress and exit the store in a rush. I must act cool, the paparazzi will take notice of my mood change.

“HOW’S COLSON, Y/N?”

“SEEING HIM TONIGHT?”

“HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN DATING?”

“HOW ARE GONNA HANDEL HIS FANS?”

“HAS HE MET THE FAMILY YET?”

“What’s going on?” Cara asks concerned.

“I’ll explain once we’re somewhere private,” I whisper so the cameras don’t pick up on it.

We speed walk to the car and I offer to drive since I made us cut the day short. Once we’re on the highway towards home Cara asks what the heck is going on.

“Why did they keep asking about Colson?”

I turn on the radio and Elvis Duran, along with his team, are discussing no other than me and Colson.

Danielle summarizes the article for the listeners. “The article says they’ve been dating for the past few months. They’re very happy but the relationship is still new. The pair has not yet met each other’s families but Colson is going on tour soon so maybe Y/N will join him and eventually meet the family. Throughout, there are tons of photos of the cute young couple leaving The Ivy Wednesday night. There’s even a link to a video showing them, what appears to be, having a deep conversation by Sam Merka’s car. If you watch the video, the two are clearly looking at each other very lovingly. I mean, he’s looking at her the way I look at a fresh pizza!”

The rest of the cast laughs and I can’t believe what I’m hearing. Actually, scratch that, I can believe it. I’m just pissed.

“If MGK and Y/N are officially an item, why did she leave with Sam Merka?” Elvis questions.

“I’m glad you asked! According to sources, they’ve been very close friends since the start of TSL. In fact, the duo have taken many vacations together along with their co-star Penelope Glass.”

Cara turns down the volume and looks to me with a steady expression. “Is it true?”

I narrow my gaze at her in bewilderment. “What? No! There’s no way in hell!”

“Okay, just checking,” she lets out a sigh of relief.

“Never ever!” I add and change the station.

Colson Baker is everything I despise in a person. I’ve never hated someone so fast as I’ve hated him. Us together as a couple is impossible. It’s completely irrational.

_________________________________________________________

Later in the afternoon, Stephanie sets up a meeting for us to meet with Colson and his publicist. I had to drag myself to her office. My Fridays aren’t well spent in an office building with enemies. In fact, my whole day could be tarnished by this incident. The meeting room we’re all ushered into is freezing and I’m still in my sundress from earlier. Cara and I were never able to get lunch so I’m starving on top of being cold. The photos of us play in a slideshow on the meeting room’s tv. An endless cycle of false advertisement is how I see the photos. The media is selling us as something completely far from the truth. On top of everything, I’m in a meeting with the one guy in all of Los Angeles I can’t stand. Death would be less painful than the current situation. I tune out the debate between Stephanie and Colson’s publicist. He told me his name but my brain is so numb from the temperature in here I can’t recall it.

“Y/N!” Stephanie calls my name and I search for her around the room until I find her in the doorway with Colson’s publicist.

“We’re going to go make a few phone calls. You two will stay here while we handle the press.” I nod “sounds good.”

I send her a weak smile to charm her out of an apology for zoning out. She huffs and escorts Colson’s guy to her office so they can talk on speaker privately. I stand up from my office chair and stroll over to the windows overlooking the courtyard. I watch the cars zoom by on the street and businessmen and women shuffle in and out of the Starbucks below.

“If it means anything, I’m sorry,” Colson says quietly behind me.

I nearly miss it, he speaks so quietly. I lean against the wall, crossing my arms as I face him.

“You’re sorry?” I shrug, not really seeing his blame. “Why? It’s not your doing.”

I return my gaze to the chaos below us. I watch as people with office jobs travel about. I wonder if they’ve heard of me? I wonder if they like me or think I’m a stuck up actress? I shouldn’t care what people think, but it’s easier said than done. When millions watch TSL every week, it’s hard to ignore the wondering.

“If I hadn’t walked you to the car none of this would be happening,” Colson reasons guiltily.

I shake my head, finding humor in the situation now. The paparazzi can make nothing into a months long romance. A brief conversation outside a restaurant and suddenly we’re meeting each other’s families.

“We were only walking to a car. How could either of us have predicted the amount of attention that would come of us walking?” I justify, not to ease his mind, but my own.

My flicker over to the tv, I examine the slideshow of us. Examining the photos I realize it wasn’t all in my head, the way in which Colson was gazing at me is a tad bit gawk-like. Images of us walking to the car while I’m answering the paparazzi’s questions depict Colson glancing at me with what seems to be such admiration. A picture of when Cara calls for Colson comes up and I’m stunned by how we look. Even I appear to be in awe of him in return. It’s evident Cara is speaking yet neither of us react. We were so caught up within on another.

“I have one question!” I blurt out suddenly with my arms crossed I walk back over to the table. Just one and then I wish to put all of today’s events to rest.” Colson perks up and hums for me to continue. I point over to the photos on the screen “why did you look at me the way you did?”

Turning his head, he reviews the photos blankly and I wait anxiously for some sort of reason. “I’m not looking at you in any particular way,” he disregards my accusations.

I chuckle, amused by his horrible way of lying. “Lies!”

He’s thrown off by my reaction and I storm over to the TV screen to point it out to him.

“It’s clear as day to the press, the public and now me included. You’re clearly lost in some kind of thought! You were there, so was I and our friends! Say all the lies you want but you’ll never convince anyone.”

His jaw clenches and he avoids my gaze. He leans back in his chair, staring out the windows. “Colson,” I sigh, slowly approaching the table. “Maybe the truth could help the lies disappear! If we’re honest then maybe the press will leave us alone!”

He shakes his head low, letting out a brief laugh. “I highly doubt that.”

I have a thousand questions but I’m aware none will go answered. He’s a lost cause. I’m in this alone I guess. Turning my back to him I return to my position by the window. Observing the worker bees swarming around the spaces below. The sound of Colson’s chair rolling back comes from behind me but I don’t even shift. Out of the corner of my eye, I see his figure in the reflection of the window beside me. My attention remains outside. He won’t give me the time of day so why should I treat him any better?

“You wanna know why I looked at you the way I did?” His presence hovers of me and he feels like a wall surrounding me.

“Please,” I mutter a subtle beg.

“I... I had this imagine of you in my head, pre-judgements. You’re supposed to be America’s Sweetheart, Little Miss Perfect! You told me you had been working for this for years, had drive and trails.” He confesses. “You’re not what I expected... It caught me by surprise is all.”

My eyebrows furrow close, “So you thought I was just some pretty face, goody-two-shoes, ditz? If it’s because my image, my past, you said so yourself it doesn’t matter!”

“No, no, that’s not it!” he runs his hand through his hair nervously.

Narrowing my eyes, I press further. “Why then?”

The door swings open and I straighten up before forcing a warm smile to my face. I step back from Colson before the person ever appears in the doorframe. One of Stephanie employees informs us that we’re free to go. Steph doesn’t want to keep me here all day and since I’m allowed to go Colson’s publicist is releasing him. I clasp my hand together, walking over to fetch my purse.

“Thank you so much!” I gush. “Have a good day and please tell Stephanie “thank you!””

The young intern eats up my pleasant expressions. “You too Miss Voss! Will do!”

The young woman shuts the door behind her and I return to the state I was in. Expressionless, I gather my belongings and Colson does the same. Checking my phone for any missed emails or calls I can tell he’s staring me down.

“Does it ever get tiring?” His tone is light, but I can hear the ounce of mockery beneath the surface.

My attention is locked on my phone as text after text pops up from Penelope. She’s more likely than not has seen all the articles and Twitter posts. I should call her and explain.

“Y/N!” Colson shout pulls my from my thoughts.

“Huh? Does it ever get tiring?” I restate his question back to him. “What exactly are we talking about?”

I slide my purse over my shoulder while stepping over to the door, leaving Colson behind. That is until he follows me.

“Your whole act.” He forces a fake smile and tosses imaginary hair over his shoulder. “The “happy go-lucky goody goody All-American girl?””

I scoff, eyeing him up and down. “You’re ridiculous. It’s not an act.”

I swing open the meeting room door, eager to leave here. My heels clink against the white shiny tiles on my walk to the elevators. After hitting the down button, I call up Blake now that I have some time to kill. She’s my oldest friend, I’m sure she sees right through all of the tabloids and is only checking in.

“Calling your boyfriend?” Colson mutters over my shoulder and I quickly move away.

“Don’t have one,” I answer plainly, waiting for Penelope to pick up.

He smirks and props himself up against the wall beside the elevator doors. I side eye him, all he does is smile all the time and he calls me out for acting so happy all the time.

“Can’t you find anyone else to annoy?”

He grins proudly, “sure I could. None would as entertaining as you though.”

“Geez,” I mumble under my breath.

I pace outside the elevators as I wait for one to arrive and for Penelope to answer. Classic of her to text me non-stop but not to answer when I call her back. The elevator doors open and I step inside, ready to get out of here. I hit the ground floor and Colson strolls in lazily not rushed at all. He checks the button and doesn’t add any. The doors shut then silence sits flat in the small space with us. My phone buzzes continuously, I check the name at the top of the screen.

“Frickin’ frackin’!” I clench my teeth together in a growl.

Colson’s eyes widen at my sudden explosion. Closing my eyes, I exhale to calm myself then bring the phone up to my ear. Smiling helps to fake enjoyment when talking to someone on the phone. Sometimes I can fool myself into thinking I’m not miserable during discussions.

“Finn!” I greet. “What’s new?”

My southern accent surfaces. I flip the switch whenever I speak to my family or friends back in South Carolina. I can’t have them thinking I’m not the same Y/N from Charleston. Colson eyes me with his eyebrows raised, surprised by my sudden transition. He makes fun of me in a whisper for my fake enthusiastic voice. I wack him on the arm and it only encourages him more.

“Hi ya Y/N, uh so ya prolly already know butcha face is everywhere along with this MGK fella...” Finn’s voice falters at the end.

I sigh and press my forehead to the wall. Finn asks me if any of what he has read is true and I instantly deny.

My tone goes timid, “who all knows?”

“Just us, Odelle, Greyson and Myself,” he assures.

A sense of relief rushes over me. I turn back around and Colson sends me a sympathetic look, it shocks me. Going from mockery to sympathy from him has my entire mood shifting.

“What ‘bout Momma or Daddy?” I ask, keeping eye contact with Colson.

“Nah, at least I don’t think they do,” Finn guesses. “I’m not entirely sure. Greyson is sayin’ they don’t. He’s the only one that’s home at the moment.”

“Heavens to Betsy,” I exhale deeply, looking up to the heavens. “Let’s hope to the high heavens they don’t. Thank you Finn.”

I go to hang up but he says one last thing. Bringing my phone back up to my ear I reply. “Sorry, missed that.”

My brother becomes stern on the other side, “do you and this guy spend tons of time together?”

I shift uncomfortably, preparing myself for the older brother advice I already see coming. “From time to time but I promise, we’re just friends.”

There’s a pause on his end, an unbearable pause. “I trust you Y/N,” Finn finally speaks. “It’s him I don’t trust. He’s not the best sort of guy. Ya’ll aint right for one another.”

I hope Colson can’t hear any of what Finn is saying. To keep him from becoming suspicious, I keep my replies indifferent. “Sure thing. Uh, talk ya later Finn.”

“Bye, talk to you soon.”

We hang up and I slip my phone into my purse.

Colson leans back onto the railing next to me. “Who was that?”

“My older brother, kinda overbearing,” I laugh nervously then bite my lip. My accent begins to subside again.

“I didn’t know you had a brother,” Colson remarks.

A faint smile appears across my lips thinking of my brothers. “I have two actually and an older sister. The order is Finn, Odelle, me then Greyson.”

Colson returns a kind and gentle smile. “That must’ve been nice to grow up with so many siblings.”

“It was.” I nod as memories flash across my mind. “Finn and Odelle were grouped together and so was me and Greyson since our age gaps are less.”

As we pass each level on the elevator there is a “ding.” Facing toward the doors again, I absentmindedly watch the numbers go down as we pass the levels. My mind wanders to the many memories I’ve made with my brothers and sister.

“Finn is about Sam’s age, so he likes to believe he’s almost a co-parent for me and Grey,” I describe with a pleased expression. “He’s the total opposite of Odelle.”

Colson genuinely shows interest, “how is she?”

“She’s a total wild card! We all joke that it’s every other kid. Finn and I are the rule followers. He was student body president, quarterback of the football team and still managed to graduate with honors. I’m nowhere near him on the perfect child spectrum but I’m supposed to be “America’s Sweetheart.” My parents eat that up. Then there’s Odelle, she’s the total opposite of Finn. My parents had to beg her to improve her grades so she could graduate. I remember being twelve, it was the middle of the night when I got up to get a drink. I went downstairs and saw her sneaking out of the backdoor. She made me promise not to tell our parents. I haven’t talked about it until today. There were days she’d fake being sick just to ditch school with her friends. By her senior year nothing had changed. She ended up graduating but my parents forced her to go to a college close to home so they could keep an eye on her. Her antics continued the entire time I was in high school. College for her was a playground. For some reason, I envied her. I still do. I suppose it’s because no one expects anything from her. She messes up, well, that’s Odelle for you. She causes trouble, just another day. For me, my parents have me up on a peddle stool. By the time I turned sixteen people out here started taking notice of me. When I reached seventeen the title of “America’s Sweetheart” popped up and from then on, I was longer a teenager. I had a role to play and an image to uphold. I could never make mistakes like Odelle. I have to be “perfect” constantly. Sometimes I feel like a doll, plastic. None of it is real.”

The bell rings for the floor. I comprehend the words escaping my mouth and snap back to reality. I revealed so much about myself while I was in that daze, private facts about myself that I’ve never spoken of before.

Straightening up and adjust my dress, I apologize. “I’m so sorry. I have no idea what came over me.” The doors slide open and I step out. “Good to see you Colson,” I rush out a farewell before speed walking towards the exit.

I mentally slap myself for all I confessed. If only Nicole found out, my head would be on a stick. My life, my background, every aspect of my being is supposed to be flawless. An All-American girl from South Carolina with a wholesome up brining is who I’m supposed to be. If word gets out that I’m not so perfect then… then I would be finished. My hand digs for my keys in my purse.

“Y/N! Wait up!” Colson jogs up next to me then steps in front of me, blocking my path.

“Colson, please....” I practically plead in a mutter, stepping around him.

He wraps his hand around my wrist, stopping me. “Let me buy you a drink!”

Workers around us walk around in multiple directions like zombies. I wonder if they’re taking notice. Hesitant, I narrow my gaze at me. The reason we’re in this mess is because we were seen with one another.

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea,” I admit and release myself from his grip.

I only make it a few feet before he’s in front of me again.

“Fine, no to a drink! How about we go get some coffee? Or tea? If you prefer tea!”

His chest rises and falls rapidly, his desperation is evident. The reason behind is desperation is still unknown to me, along with the reason he looked at me the way he did last night. Who is this mysterious man who stands before me? So many questions I wish to ask but I can’t get passed his eyes. Puddles of crystal blue settle on a white canvas. Confused beyond belief, for a reason unbeknownst to me, I accept. Could be my curiosity is getting the best of me.

“Coffee it is,” I give in to his request.

He grins ear to ear and steps to the side so we can leave side by side. “Unless of course you prefer we get tea!” he suggests, sounding a tad nervous.

Honestly I like both drinks but I prefer coffee. He holds the door for me and the bright sunlight of California weather strikes me.

“Nah, I normally drink a cold brew with a shot of espresso,” I describe.

He winces and pretends to gag. “Ew! That sounds horrible!”

“It gives you a boost in the morning! Nice and strong!” I laugh.

“You’re nasty!” He waves his hands in disgust.

“Eh, you’ve called me worse,” I laugh, unfazed by his insult.

He chuckles, “you’re not wrong.”

Our laughing dies down a little as we stroll over to the Starbucks. I peer up at him with a side eye. When our eyes meet we begin laughing again uncontrollably.

___________________________________

Masterlist

Tags: @canyoubuymetoast @bri-3530 @asil1652 @andstilltryingtofindmyself @nadia2021 @olafsidehoe @mgkobsessed @fairywriting101 @ferrell-cat @naylanae-0308 @tonystarkswife10 @alexsa56 @brocksbabyyy @stormrider505 @magnificenthumancopangel @sarcasticfangirlus @lilramencup95beech @missyviolet123 @skeleton-gxrl @glitterybearllamaflap @margaritaville20 @amoresixx @Thysagclub @hockeybabe87

#mgk smut #mgk imagine #mgk fanfic #mgk #mgk aesthetic #machine gun kelly #colson baker #colson #machine gun kelly fanfic #imagine #fanfic

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worldserasingandcreatinginmymind · 4 years ago

Text

Unfaithful | Part Four

Series Summary: After dreaming of your perfect wedding since you were a little girl the big day is almost here. But after meeting the priest you start to question your relationship.

Pairing: Hot Priest x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 2900

Warnings: angst, toxic relationship, emotional blackmail

A/N: Please be warned there will be some themes of toxic/abusive relationship in this series. Also, spelling and grammar is not my strongest skill so please be kind :)

Part Three | Masterlist

- - - -

“Father?”

A voice calling out in the church stops us mid kiss.

“Oh shit, it’s Pam!” The Priest whispers, eyes wide.

“Father, are you in here?” She calls out again.

Remembering his confession about hiding from her I can’t help but find it amusing we’re now both hiding in this tiny box. A tiny giggle escapes my lips and the Priest shushes me, placing his hand gently over my mouth.

After a minute Pam finally retreats back to her room, leaving us alone. The priest waits another few seconds before removing his hand and letting out a sigh.

“That was too close”

“Was kinda hot though” I reply, planting a kiss on his lips.

“Yeah it was” he laughs, kissing me back “but we should probably move this back to my office incase she comes back” He kisses me again and takes my hand. He pokes his head out from the curtain to check no ones there before leading me out the confession box and to his office. He shuts the door and to my surprise spins me around till my back falls against it. He immediately resumes kissing me, letting out small breathless moans as our tongues explore each others mouths. His hands find their way from my hips, up my sides and to the buttons of my shirt. I place my hands over his, stopping him.

“Do you mind if we don’t, just yet.. I'm not- I'm not ready for that” I stutter “I'm sorry”

He plants a kiss on my forehead before leaning his forehead against mine.

“We don’t have to do anything until you're ready” he whispers and smiles a genuine, loving smile which I return.

“Can we just cuddle for a bit?” I ask shyly

“Of course”

He leads me over to the two seater sofa and sits down, gently pulling me down with him and wrapping himself around me.

Laying on the Priest’s small sofa, my head on his chest and his arms around me, I feel like I’ve died and gone to heaven. We stay like that for at least ten minutes, silently enjoying the blissful feeling of each others company.

I tilt my head to look up at him and find him watching me.

“What?” I giggle, feeling slightly self conscious under his gaze.

“Nothing, just- thinking”

“About what?”

“It doesn’t matter”

He smiles at me and places a kiss on my forehead. He brings his hand up to stroke the side of my face, his thumb gently glides over my burns and his face changes. There’s a hint of sadness in his eyes.

“He did this to you, didn’t he?”

I nod, biting my lip slightly.

“Because you were with me?”

“No” I reply quickly, not wanting him to think this was his fault “lt was my fault, I called him pathetic”

“That’s no excuse to hurt you!”

“It’s always been a trigger word for Daniel.” I explain and he looks at me confused. I remove myself from under his arms and sit up to face him “His father always used to call him that. He wasn’t a very nice man, he was an alcoholic with anger issues. He used to beat Daniel’s mother in front of him and tell him it was his fault. And if he cried, like any child would, he told him he was pathetic.”

“That’s awful”

“When Daniel’s mother died, his dad changed. Started going to church and completely turned his life around. He was like a new man. But Daniel never forgave him. Even after he died, he just couldn’t. And I don't blame him, I can’t imagine the things he must have seen. At the funeral all these people from the church kept telling Daniel that his father was up in heaven watching over him, and he hated it. The idea that this man who did such horrendous things was allowed be in heaven, it made him so angry. That’s why he’s got such an issue with you. It’s not really about you personally, it’s what you stand for. Just religion in general.”

“Then why get married in a church?”

“My fault again. I had to beg and beg him to let me have the wedding here. My parents aren’t around anymore either but I have such fond memories of being here with them that I thought if we had the wedding here it would feel like they were with me. I know must sound silly-”

“Not at all, it’s a lovely thought. I bet they’d be so proud of you.”

“I hope so”

The sound of the phone ringing pulls us out of our conversation. The Priest goes to his desk and picks up the phone.

“Hello?” He answers with a cheery voice.

Suddenly the smiles disappears from his face and he looks at me with wide eyes.

“Oh hi Daniel”

My heart stops. I feel like I could throw up. What the hell is Daniel doing calling the Priest? Does he know I’m here? Does he know what we’ve done?

“Slow down, say that again”

I watch intently as the Priest listens to Daniel on the other end, trying to figure out from his facial expressions what they’re talking about.

“No I haven’t seen her” he lies “Why? What’s happened?”

He must be asking about me. I take my phone from my pocket and power it on. I had turned it off in the hospital and completely forgot to turn it back on again. Multiple messages and endless missed calls from Daniel.

“Don't worry, I’m sure she’s fine. If I see her I’ll let her know you're looking for her okay? Okay bye Daniel” he puts the phone down and looks up at me again “he sounds like he’s really panicking about you”

“Good!”

“You need to go home” the Priest says, walking over to me

“I don't want to”

“I know. But you're gonna have to face him sooner or later” he puts his hands on my shoulders and I look up into his eyes before letting out a sigh.

“You're right. I should go. Thank you, for everything” I smile at him giving him a quick kiss before heading to the door.

“Y/N?” He calls after me and I turn back to look at him “none of it is your fault”

— — — —

The moment I step through the front door Daniel comes running, full of apologies.

“Oh my God, Y/N. I’m sorry. Are you okay? Please forgive me. I love you so much. What did the hospital say?”

“It will heal eventually. They gave me some cream for the pain.”

“I am so sorry! I’m gonna change-”

“I’ve heard it all before” I snap

“I know, I know- but I mean it. Here, let me take your shoes off for you”

“I don't need your help” I say, kicking my shoes off

“Let me take care of you! Go to bed and I’ll come up in a minute. Please, I want to make it up to you”

I stare him out for a moment before giving in and doing as he says. I get into some fresh pyjamas and climb into bed. A few minutes later I hear him coming upstairs.

“I made you a fresh coffee, since you didn’t get to drink yours this morning”

He puts the coffee on the bedside table and sits on the edge of the bed next to me. He takes the cream from the table and squeezes some onto his fingers. He reaches towards me and I instinctively flinch away from his touch.

“Please, let me do this” he says quietly and I give him a small nod.

I can’t help but let out a small whimper of pain as he touches my skin.

“Sorry!”

I can't even look at him. I can hear from his voice he’s trying not to cry and the last thing I want to feel right now is pity for him.

Once he’s finished applying the cream he wipes his hands on a tissue and climbs into bed next to me. He cautiously reaches over to put his arm around me, and because I don't have to the energy to argue I allow him to pull me in to cuddle up to him.

He takes the remote from his bedside table drawer and turns the tv on.

“What do you want to watch?”

“We need to talk” I say and he turns the tv off again, releasing me from his arm and sitting up to look at me. He looks terrified.

“Okay?”

“Look I’ve been thinking-”

“Please” he interrupts, grabbing my hands and begging “don't break up with me!”

“Daniel” I sigh

“I’ve been panicking all day thinking that you’d left me. If you hadn’t come home, I don't know what I would have done… I can’t live without you by my side.”

“Stop! I’m not breaking up with you… I just think we need time to work things out”

“What do you mean?” He looks concerned.

“We should postpone the wedding”

“No! No we don't need to do that. What happened today will never happen again. I promise.” He says and I smirk slightly at hearing yet another empty promise. He notices. “I mean it. Y/N, I have waited over half my life to marry you. I don't wait any longer. I want to call you my wife and show everyone how much I love you!”

I watch as he squeezes my hand tightly in his own, almost as if he’s scared I’ll suddenly slip away and he’ll lose me. His eyes search mine and I can see the desperate panic he feels. I let out a sigh.

“Okay, we’ll keep the set date.” I finally say and I see the relief flood through Daniel “but I don't think we should get married in the church”

“I thought that’s what you wanted”

“I do- I did. But you clearly don't want to and that’s okay. We’ll find somewhere that makes us both happy.”

“No, I don't want my issues to be the reason you don't get your dream wedding. We’re getting married in the church, and I’m going to make things right with the priest. I promise. When’s the next meeting?”

“Oh, you really don't have to-“

“I want to! It’s the final one before the big day right?” He asks and I nod “then I should definitely go! When is it?”

“Tomorrow afternoon.”

“I’ll be there.”

— — — —

After another night of dreaming of the Priest, I was awakened by Daniel bringing me breakfast in bed.

“This looks lovely, thank you” I say as he places the tray over my lap and gives me a kiss on the forehead. A memory flashes in my head of the priest pressing his lips to that same spot yesterday.

“You're most welcome m’lady” he says in his poshest voice and bows like a butler, making an involuntary giggle escape my mouth “listen I’ve got to pop out but I’ll meet you at the church this afternoon”

“Okay” I nod, highly doubting he’s actually going to turn up.

“I love you!” He kisses me again before leaving.

Hearing him say he loves me sends a sudden pang of guilt through me. He loves me. And despite everything I do still love him. So why can’t I stop thinking about the priest? When I’m around him I feel more content than I’ve felt in years. I know I haven't known him for very long but I feel so strongly for him, its insane.

How can I love two guys at once?

I let out a sigh and shake the thoughts out of my head.

Once I finish my breakfast I get out of bed, have a shower and get ready for the day. I find myself counting down the hours till I get to see the priest again and as I finally make my way to the church the excited butterflies in my stomach are fluttering so hard I swear they’re going to burst out of me and fly right to him. I turn the corner and smile as I see him standing outside the front door chatting to someone. Our eyes meet and he smiles back at me, sending my heart soaring. That is until the man he’s chatting to turns around and I realise its Daniel. Then my heart feels like it stops all together. I know he said he was going to be here today I just didn’t believe he would actually show up. I’m almost disappointed he’s crashed my alone time with the priest.

I snap out of it and remind myself I’m supposed to be happy, plastering an over the fake smile on my face as I greet my fiancé.

“You're here!” I say, unable to hide the surprise in my voice.

“I said I would be didn’t I? I have something for you, wait here” Daniel says before rushing off toward the carpark. I take my chance to talk to the priest.

“I can’t believe he actually came”

“He also apologised to me”

“He did what?”

“I know, it’s a miracle!” The priest says sarcastically.

“Doubt it. I’m sure he’ll be back to his usual self as soon as something gets him angry. I dread to think what he’d do if he ever found out that we...”

“Yeah about that. We both had too much to drink and I think we both said and did things we shouldn’t have. Maybe it’s best if we just... pretend that didn’t happen?”

My heart sinks as I realise what he’s saying. He regrets kissing me. But he told me he loved me! What if that just the alcohol talking? I realise he’s waiting for a response.

“Of course, yeah you’re right! We were both drunk and I’d had a really bad day. Neither of us were in our right minds. It never happened”

The priest doesn’t respond, just looks past me to something behind me. I turn around to follow his gaze and see the biggest flower bouquet I’ve ever seen walking towards me with Daniel’s legs.

“Oh my God” I gasp

“I wanted to get you something as beautiful as you are, but nothing came close. This was the best I could do”

“Thank you” I say quietly, blushing slightly “this must have cost a fortune!”

“You're worth every penny” he replies and I can’t help but smile as he leans in and kisses me. This is the Daniel I fell for all those years ago, not the man he’s become lately. Could he really have changed back?

“Oh isn’t that lovely” the Priest says, there’s a hint of sarcasm in his voice but it’s so subtle that thankfully Daniel doesn’t catch it “shall we head inside”

— — — —

The meeting is nothing like I expected it to be. Daniel, being true to his word, was over the top friendly with the Priest. Every question asked, he would answer straight away. He was cracking jokes, telling stories about things we’ve done together and the places we’ve been. I couldn’t get a word in even if I wanted to. Although the Priest was smiling along, I could tell he couldn’t wait for this meeting to be over. He almost looks relieved when Pam knocks on the office door.

“So sorry to interrupt Father, the Parish council are on the phone. Something about tomorrow’s fundraiser.. shall I tell them to call back later?”

“No no” he says quickly, jumping up from his chair “it’s okay, we’re pretty much done here anyway.” He turns back to look at us “sorry for the abrupt ending but…”

“Of course, we understand” Daniel responds getting up from his chair, and I do the same.

“Pam will show you out” the Priest holds the door open for us and Daniel walks out behind Pam. I follow but stop at the door, face to face with the priest.

“Are you okay?” I ask quietly and he nods, not able to look me in the eye.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” He responds. I study him for a moment before he speaks again “better not keep those parish councillors waiting” I catch his hint and leave the room, taking one last look back at the Priest as he shuts the door before I run to catch up with Daniel and Pam.

“Will we be seeing you at the fundraiser garden party tomorrow?” Pam asks as I join them at the door.

“I’m working” Daniel answers “but Y/N could”

“I’d love to but I’ve got my hen party tomorrow-” I excuse

“Yeah but that’s in the evening. You’re free all day right?” Dan argues

“uh… yeah I guess I am” I agree, reluctantly

“Great! The more the merrier” Pam smiles “make sure you bring plenty of cash”

“Will do. See you tomorrow” I say, giving her a small wave as Daniel and I head to the car.

Daniel chats constantly on the drive home but I don't listen to a word. Instead my thoughts are consumed by the priest and his dismissive attitude towards me. How in the space of 24 hours can he have gone from telling me he loves me, to now not being able to look at me?

Was it because Daniel was there? Did I do or say something wrong?

I guess I”ll have to wait till the fundraiser tomorrow to find out.

Part Five

#hot priest #hot priest x reader #Andrew Scott x reader #fleabag #Andrew scott #fleabag fanfic #fleabag imagine #Andrew Scott imagine #Andrew Scott fanfic #fleabag fic #fleabag hot priest #hot priest imagine #hot priest fanfic #Andrew Scott priest #fleabag x reader

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sunjaesol · 3 years ago

Text

juke | spiderman au | tw: violence | title: motion // luke hemmings

🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️

"Hey, Julie," Luke greets, walking into Molina's Flowers & Gifts.

It's quiet in the store. An abundance of flowers packed together winking at him, corners stuffed with candles, books, vases and picture frames. It's a well-loved shop, within the Molina family for decades, their youngest daughter and his classmate now meandering behind the counter.

She smiles, "Hey, Luke. How are your aunt's tulips?"

"Uh," he chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck, "very... tulip-y."

"Solid."

"Yeah. Anyway—" he points at her "—about the assignment. I can't do it with you."

She frowns. "Why?"

Because at night, he has to patrol the city! Who else is going to protect and serve New York — or Queens, specifically! They need him! Sure, they don't appreciate him or, y'know, know who he is, but...

As much as he wants to work with Julie — and really, he does, she's amazing — he simply can't. That's the responsibility he's taken upon himself as Spiderman and he has to honour that.

"Family commitment," he lies with a grimace. "I can do some research in the library this week, but—"

"Forget it," she mutters. "I'll do it. But you present, okay? I hate public speaking."

He sighs in relief. "Thank you! Yes, you got it!"

"You owe me now, you know that?" she asks, peering. It reminds him how she, unlike him, is a full-blooded New Yorker. She has bark and bite, while he has that Los Angeles softness buffing the edges of his actions.

Unless he's Spiderman. Then there's no stopping him.

Leaning against the counter, he tries dazzling her with a charming smile. "Like what?"

She thinks for a moment, face twisting up in that cute, pensive face she has; always crossing her features during calculus or physics. Another reason why he hates bailing on her: she's mad cute — and one of the few people at school that doesn't regard his music mania as geeky.

"Every weekend, me and my dad go to the flower market and get our batch. It's at four am. My dad's sick, so you're joining me this Saturday."

He grimaces. "Four? Really?"

"I know you're not Jewish. You're free."

"I could be!"

Her head tilts, amused. "Are you, Patterson?"

Sighing, his head drops along with his resolve. She has him. "Fine. Yes, I'll help you. Don't blame me if I fall asleep with my eyes open!"

Julie giggles at his remark and it makes him look up, a giddy feeling spreading in his chest. Her face is close to his, the colours of the flowers glimmering in her eyes, and he's kind of taken by her. Wow.

"Great. Now get out of my store!" she commands, grabbing the broom beside her. "I need to sweep the floors."

Pushing himself off from the counter, he cheekily salutes at her and bids goodbye, bouncing outside mere seconds later. That went better than expected — he even made her laugh!

Reggie sends him a text. I updated your suit. Good to go for tonight with zero malfunctions!

His grin widens. This Tuesday afternoon could not have gone better!

Fuck. He should've known those words were gonna jinx him.

Luke slings from skyscraper to skyscraper after a gang of armed criminals, failing to capture them with his webs and almost being shot himself just ten minutes ago!

Yeah, sneezing loudly during their very creepy gang meeting in a quiet Queens alleyway was not his proudest moment. Fucking hay fever.

It's even worse that they're fighting in his neighborhood, the streets familiar and well-trodden by him, his friends, his family. His stomach twists up with dread, but he has to keep going. He almost has them!

There's six of them, so he's sure he can get a few from a distance. Quickly mapping out his strategy from the ledge of a building, bug eyes gleaming in the street lights, he launches into action.

(There are police sirens in the distance, likely being called after the thugs broke into that bank, but Luke can't wait. This is his time.)

Webbing two against the brick walls of a bodega, he throws a joke alongside it too and adds extra webbing to their mouths. No need to hear their response!

A third thug gets lassoed towards him, dizzying the man, and a simple swing of the fists knocks him out cold.

The other three keep sprinting, shooting over their shoulder all precariously. If Luke wasn't running on adrenaline and fright, he'd scoff at their mindless use of bullets. One hits a lamppost, a mailbox, a tree.

(On that tree, a “who is spiderman?” poster, something he'd get excited over if, again, there wasn't a crime to be solved. Damn it, thugs!)

He manages to shoot a gun out of one man's hand and then web him down on the pavement, but the last two outsmart him. Exhaustion weighs his bones down — it's one am, school starts at eight, he has to pretend to be all normal and cool — and the police still hasn't arrived.

Any nagging thought gets knocked out of his mind the second he sees them crashing the windows of the Molina's, barelling into their store. His gut plummets while anger rises, reaching a fever pitch shaped in an angry cry and a boost of energy. Screw, strategy! He needs to fix this!

Zooming into the store after them, more bullets hurl by, shattering glass and vases and flying past their faces. It works to his advantage, the criminals trying to shield themselves with their hands, a sudden weak spot. Luke webs one to the ground, extra hard.

But then two arms curl around his neck from behind.

"Whoa!" he chokes out, flailing to be released. "C'mon, man!"

"Time to sleep, Spiderman!" the criminal snarls with a thick east coast accent, tightening his iron hold.

Luke helplessly tries hitting him with his feet and elbows, but the man is rock solid and his spidey system malfunctions again from the high levels of stress. Shit!

Just as he feels lightheaded, a resounding clang! makes the arms slacken, the man slumping on the ground like a heavy sack of potatoes. Staggering away, he whirls around, only to come face to face with an enraged Julie Molina.

She squeaks out an undignified warrior cry, raising her baseball bat once more to knock him out.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" he yells, grabbing onto the end of the stick before she gives him a concussion. "I'm the good guy! I'm—" he lowers his voice "—I'm Spiderman!"

The bat clatters to the ground. Her eyes slowly drift to the webbed man and the man's ass she whooped. And then, when he thinks she'll start crying from shock, she looks back at him in confusion.

"Why did you lower your voice like that?"

He blinks. Not what he expected. "Wha-? No, I didn't."

"You did. You sounded like a boy and now you don't."

He groans, stomping his foot. "I didn't! Anyway, Ju- miss. Girl. Thanks for the help. The police is on their way."

Her shoulder sag, now seemingly registering what just transpired. Her eyes, previously so pretty in daylight, well up with tears as she takes stock of her ruined family establishment. Luke swallows back the guilt, the immense urge to comfort her.

If he had just been faster... none of this would've happened.

A sob wracks her body. "My- my store. My dad. The flowers. We- we-" Her gaze locks on his, furiously devestated. "Why did you lead them here?!"

He raises his hands in defense. "I didn't! They trespassed! I- I'm so sorry, miss."

Her head shakes, more tears slipping down her cheeks. "That's not... good enough. Please go."

"Miss—"

"Go!" she shouts, pointing at the broken window.

He nods, obliging, utters once more the police is coming, and flies out the window. His mask rubs uncomfortably against his skin, cold sweat and tears pricking like needles.

When the next day at school Julie is nowhere to be found, he's not surprised.

🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️

@blush-and-books @bluefirewrites @thedeathdeelers @unsaid-emily @willexx @ourstarscollided @pink-flame @constantly-singing

#juke #jatp fanfiction #julie and the phantoms #otp: i think we make each other better

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disgruntledspacedad · 4 years ago

Text

Aftershocks (2/5)

The Better Love Series

pairing: Javier Peña x Fem!Reader (Ears). Part of the Better Love ‘verse.

summary: That bomb fucked you up a little more than you thought. h/c, fluff.

words: 2.5k

warnings: 18+ - canon typical violence, lots of medical stuff in this one.

a/n: unbeta’d. I had a surprise day off, so enjoy the second installment of Aftershocks much sooner than I had anticipated. More notes to follow!

part one | part two | part three | part four | part five

MASTERLIST

You’re escorted beyond the heavy double doors of the emergency department in a hurry. It probably has a lot to do with Javi busting into the waiting area with you in his arms, flashing his DEA badge and barking out orders in irate Spanish.

Honestly, you wish he wouldn’t make such a scene. Sitting still in the car had allowed you to catch your breath a little. You feel like shit, sure, but you’re pretty sure you aren’t actively dying.

Try telling him that, though.

The triage room is little more than a curtain masking a dimly lit corner. You’re answering what questions you can in halting Spanish, but Javi can see that you’re overwhelmed.

“Ella habla ingles.” His tone earns him a dirty look, but the nurse nods, placing an oxygen probe on your finger and frowning up at the monitor. Both of you follow her gaze, noticing that the number reads 87.

“The doctor will see you soon,” she says carefully. Her English is heavily accented, and suddenly, you’re grateful beyond words that you have Javi here to translate. “Here. You’ll wear this.” She winds the oxygen tubing beneath your chin and around your ears. The oxygen is dry, burning your nose and making your face twitch in annoyance, but you can’t deny that you feel better with it on.

The nurse leaves you then, pulling the curtain closed behind her. Javi continues to stare at the monitor with his arms folded across his chest as the number on the screen climbs to 89, then to 92, the soft tone of the blips rising in pitch with each subtle improvement.

He’s thinking again, you can tell.

“Javi?” You reach for his hand, tugging at his fingers. Instinctively, you know that leaving him alone to stew right now cannot be a good thing.

He glances down at you, all dark, glittering eyes and terse expression, and worry clinches in your gut. “You okay?”

Javi snorts. “Really, Ears.” You can just see him fighting the urge to roll his eyes. “That’s a hell of a question, coming from you.”

You decide to shoot for levity. “I’m great, thanks for asking.”

That earns you a pathetic, lopsided lip twitch. You count it as a win anyway.

The doctor never shows. Javi grumbles and broods. A little while later, somebody comes with a wheelchair to whisk you away for an x-ray, and no matter how much blustering and badge-flashing and protesting he does, Javi is told firmly to stay put.

He’s pacing agitatedly in the hallway when return. Apparently, it had felt like an eternity for him.

In reality, you’d been gone less than twenty minutes.

It seems that your x-ray has earned you some attention, because things start happening a little faster now. People are in and out, one nurse bustling in to wordlessly draw an entire fistful of little color coded tubes of your blood, another working on IV access in your opposite arm. You take it all stoically, caught between watching in fascination as the nurse tapes the catheter in place with practiced efficiency and wondering why all of this can’t just happen in one stick.

A little while later, the same nurse returns with a bag of fluid. “Seca,” she informs you as she stretches to hang it on the hook in the wall.

“She says you’re dehydrated,” Javi translates. His face is a stone wall, the subtle clench of his jaw the only hint of the emotion that churns beneath. You can just imagine him kicking himself for not making you eat or drink.

You bite back a shiver. The saline is cold in your arm.

They move you to a real room not long after that. It’s only marginally bigger than your corner in the emergency department, crammed with two rickey, uncomfortable beds separated by another dingy curtain. Thankfully, you don’t have a roommate for the moment.

You let Javi handle the paperwork as you change out of his sweats and into the itchy, open-backed gown that you’ve been provided with. Even with the oxygen, moving around still requires that you pause to catch your breath, and you’re grateful for the opportunity to sit when you’re done, even if the hospital bed you’re on is squeaky and uncomfortable.

Once the documents are signed and the nurses are gone, silence settles thickly between you. Javi is standing with his fingers fisted into his hips, glaring daggers at the clock on the wall. He hasn’t spoken in a long time.

Again, you feel that burning need to pull him out of his head. “Not really set up for visitors, is it?” you ask wryly. It’s a stupid, pointless thing to say, but you’re just trying to fill the void.

Javi glances around the room, raising his brows at what he observes. There’s no chair and no free space, nowhere for him to sit. Sighing deeply, he yanks back the curtain that divides the room and eases carefully onto the bed opposite of you, leaning forward with his arms folded on his knees.

You grit your teeth. Really, you wouldn’t have minded him settling down on your bed, but the more time you spend with Javi, the more you’re starting to realize that he withdraws when he’s feeling wrong-footed. As annoying as it is, the distance he’s putting between you is just par for the course, and it’s just not worth addressing right now.

“How are you feeling?” he asks softly, pinning you with a sharp, assessing stare.

“Better,” you answer automatically, forcing some cheerfulness into your tone. Honestly, you’re far more worried about him than you are about you.

Javi raises a skeptical brow, clearly doubting you.

“No, really!”

Your protest makes him shake his head in dark amusement. “What am I gonna do with you, Ears?” he wonders aloud.

You’re ready to supply several very detailed answers to that question, all of them interrupted as your doctor finally breezes into the room.

“About fucking time,” Javi mutters under his breath as he rises to his feet.

“Hola, hola. I’m Dr. Perez.” Dr. Perez says, actually managing to sound a tiny bit apologetic. “Forgive the delay, por favor. I know it must seem that emergencies are the most non-emergent situation in the hospital, but, I promise you, we are working hard behind the scenes.”

You decide immediately that you like Dr. Perez. He’s not a big man, compact and clean cut, with just the faintest dusting of silver at his temples and a warm, genuine smile.

Javi must be thinking along similar lines, because he comes to stand just at the edge of your shoulder, looming dark and foreboding at your side as Dr. Perez approaches your bedside.

Oh, now you’ll stick close, you think fondly, trying to find a little amusement in Javi’s behavior. Everything about this situation is entirely new, totally incongruous with the cool, suave Javier Peña that you thought you’d known, and a malicious, possessive part of your brain is just eating up the implications.

“I understand you were involved in the bombing in downtown Bogotá, correct?” Dr. Perez’s grip is firm and cool as he shakes your hand.

“Yes, that’s correct.” You’re acutely aware of Javi standing stiffly beside you, watching your every move.

“Most unfortunate,” Perez shakes his head in a show of sympathy, and you manage to believe him. “And the breathing problems, they began later, no?”

“Yes,” you answer, surprised that he would guess with such accuracy. “I was okay afterward. Maybe a little bit sore. But not hurt.”

“Ella ha estado tosiendo sangre,” Javi interjects quickly. You’re not sure what he’s saying, but Dr. Perez’s eyes flicker in his direction, a swift, meaningful look passing between them.

“Veo.” Dr. Perez says smoothly. He frowns down at you. “And how for were you from the blast zone?”

You think back, willing yourself to relive the memory of the morning in clinical detail. “I was crossing the street,” you say slowly. “Headed home.” You do some quick mental math in your head, analyzing the width of Circular against the image of Emilio, waving. You’d been close enough to shout a greeting. “Forty feet. Maybe a little less.”

Beside you, Javi sucks in a sharp breath.

Perez purses his lips. “Sí, eso lo haría.” He crosses the room, flicking a switch to illuminate a bright white panel built into the wall that you hadn’t noticed before. He shuffles through your chart, pulling out a dark film and pinning it to the light.

It’s your chest x-ray. You can clearly see the curve of your ribs, stark white against the darker background of your lungs. In the middle of the film lies the dusky outline of what you assume is your heart. To the lower left, a patch of hazy, white blur mars the image.

“This is the problem.” Perez points to the blur. “Pulmones magullados. Your lungs are bruised, see? This is common in blast zone survivors. The change in air pressure when the bomb ignites causes an injury to the lung tissue. You are bleeding just a little bit internally.”

You can damn near feel Javi gritting his teeth at that.

“But I felt fine,” you protest weakly, looking assentingly at the blob on the x-ray. It’s a pretty good size.

“Sí, you were fine.” Perez is nodding along with you, like he’d expected the argument. “That’s normal with this type of injury. You felt good immediately afterward because the bruise was new, the bleeding slight. But the bruise has gotten bigger, and you have gotten worse.” He indicates the oxygen that you are wearing with a grim nod. “You are a very lucky, mi amiga, to have walked away from that. Muy afortunada. Had you been closer…” Perez trails off, shaking his head somberly. “It does not bear thinking.”

He claps his hands, startling you away from the grisly images stirring in your mind. “There is good news, though!” Perez gestures toward the x-ray as a whole, circling over it with his index finger. “I see no rib fractures, nothing collapsed. Your breathing might get worse before it gets better, but it will get better. We will keep you under close watch until then.”

“Keep me?”

“Sí, you will be here.” Perez pins you with a no-nonsense stare, as if to curtail any protests before they come. “There’s another matter. You have a small concussion as well. To this area, here.” He taps the back of his own head with his hand. “From falling down, yes?”

You nod. The area he’s pointing to is right where your head hurts most, where you’d fallen backward after the blast. “Yes. It did knock me off my feet.” Apparently a with a little more force than you’d initially assumed.

Perez hums. “We will monitor that as well. You do not take blood thinners?”

“No, sir. No medications.”

“Bueno.” Dr. Perez seems genuinely pleased by this. “You’ve made my job very easy.” He gathers the film and shuffles it back into your chart, flopping it shut with a flourish. “Rest for you, Orejas. Time and sleep will do the best healing.”

“Orejas?” you can’t help but ask. It’s the name that Emilio had used for you, but you’re shocked that Perez knows it.

Perez smiles. “I listen to my nurses. That is what they call you.”

“How much time?” Javi interrupts before you can respond. You’d nearly forgotten about him, as quiet as he’s been.

Perez turns to address him for the first time. “It depends largely on her body. The concussion is small, and won’t require anything in the way of treatment. Her lungs, though…” Perez frowns down at the closed chart with a furrowed brow. “The contusion is still developing. A few days, a week, perhaps? I can say more tomorrow.” He turns back to you, sighing in sympathy. “I’m afraid you’re in for a stay, mi amiga.”

Well, fuck.

With that, Perez disappears just as quickly as he’d arrived, soft, quick footsteps echoing down the hallway, and silence falls once again over the room.

Javi doesn’t move, doesn’t speak. He’s standing very still, arms folded tightly across his chest with his thumbs digging into his armpits. The expression on his face is downright chilling.

Your blood turns to ice.

“What the fuck, Ears?” he says very slowly, enunciating each syllable with deadly precision.

You glance up, suddenly hesitant to speak. The little movement must be enough to spur him on, though, because Javi fucking explodes.

“Forty fucking feet!” he bites out, clawing angrily at his hair. He paces the tiny room, whirling as he runs out of space and pointing an accusing finger at you. “You told me you were across the street, Ears, not crossing it. There’s a big fucking difference.”

You blink at him, recalling the conversation you’d had in the embassy parking lot.

Shit, he’s right.

“Why the hell did you lie to me?” There’s a subtle warble in his tone, a flicker of devastation in his eyes that’s quickly masked.

Discomfort that has nothing to do with your injured lungs twinges in your chest. “I don’t know,” you answer miserably. You hadn’t thought of it as lying. At the time, you’d been overwhelmed by the situation and thoroughly confused by Javi’s erratic behavior, just desperate to get home and sleep off the worst morning of your life. “I didn’t want to upset you, I guess.”

Javi laughs sarcastically. “Well, you’ve done a fucking fantastic job of that, haven’t you?” He throws his hands in the air, like he’s had it up to here with your shit. “Coughing up blood all over my kitchen floor. Christ, I should have known.”

Okay, now he’s being a little dramatic - the only blood you’d coughed up had been into your fingers, after all, but the protest is lost on you as you look him in the face. Javi’s eyes are deeply shadowed, his expression pained, his hair standing wildly from where he’s run his fingers through it.

He looks thoroughly exhausted.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper, dropping your gaze to the floor.

Javi huffs and looks away, clearly not ready to accept any apologies from you.

You don’t blame him. Throughout this entire screwed up relationship, you’ve done an absolutely piss poor job of putting yourself in Javi’s shoes, and it’s coming back to bite you in the ass.

You deserve his irritation, and more.

Javi’s pager beeps, the shrill sound of it slicing through the tension. He snatches it roughly off of his belt, frowning down at the display with squinted eyes.

You glance up at the clock on the wall. It’s pretty late, but given the day Javi’s had, it’s not outrageous to assume that somebody would need to be in touch with him at this hour.

“I’ve got to take this,” Javi says tonelessly, hardly glancing up at you. If there’s any regret there, it’s buried very deeply. “I’ll see you later, Ears.”

He’s gone before you can get a word in edgewise.

♠

confessions/notes:

I speak one language poorly, and I’ve never extensively written a character who is not a primary English speaker (I’m not counting Javi here). Any critiques or corrections to my Spanish are very welcomed!

Up next: a look at things from Javi’s POV.

Spanish translations:

She speaks English.

Dry

She’s been coughing up blood.

I see.

Yeah, that’ll do it.

ears

tags:@jedi-mando, @perropascal, @aerolanya, @pikemoreno, @bitchin-beskar, @mostly-megan, @huliabitch, @starsandmando, @starlight-starwrites, @thirstworldproblemss, @knittingqueen13, @yespolkadotkitty

Javier Peña tags: @magpie-to-the-morning, @tiffdawg, @danniburgh, @1800-fight-me

To my taglist peeps, I’m sorry for tagging you guys three times in 24 hours. Again, chaotic jay cannot plan anything, like ever.

#Javier Peña x reader #Javier Peña #narcos #pedro pascal #Javier Peña x you #Javier Peña fanfiction #Javier Peña fanfic #reader insert #hurt/comfort #fluff #narcos netflix #narcos fanficiton #narcos fanfic #better love #aftershocks

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omg-im-such-a-masochist · 4 years ago

Text

🧰🔧PAUL IN BLUE OVERALLS🔧🧰

Prompt: One innocent sexual fantasy will lead Y/N directly into “Paul’s” faithful services.

Word Count: Long-ish

Pairings: Drew McIntyre x Reader

Warnings: +18, smut, sexual fantasy, roleplay, oral sex (female and male receiving), masturbation (male and female), cursing, name calling.

Tag: @akiko-tanaka , @blondekel77 , @marlananicole , @theworldofotps , @new-zealand-chic , @drew-is-boo

Notes: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU *clap, clap*. Today is @drewmcintyrekoccsrocbwdgfan birthday and what better way to celebrate it than with a Daddy McIntyre smut? This whole idea came from one (of the many) conversations Des and I have, she casually mentioned this and I wanted to use it as a birthday gift to her for being such an amazing friend to me 🥰 Thank you Des, for everything and here’s to many more smutty birthdays yet to come 🥂😘. Y’all know the drill loves,sorry for misspellings,english isn’t my first language (bla bla bla),check out my other stories on my Masterlist if you’d like to(it would make your girl here very happy 😊) and my newest story as a fixed post. Okay,now let’s get to the fun part, shall we? Hope you’ll enjoy 😉

“Tell me one secret fantasy you have” Drew smirked

“If I tell you then it’s not a secret anymore is it?” I smugly smiled

“C’mon, Y/N! What’s wrong with you telling your husband a fantasy that you have?”

“I don’t have any” I lied

“Bullshit, everyone has it! And I find it hard to believe that you don’t have any with the amount of sex we have” He smirked

“Ok fine, I have it!”

“Ha! I knew it!” Drew proudly grinned

“But I won’t tell you”

His grin faded away “Why?”

“Because no, Drew” I start to scroll through my phone pretending to do something important

“I know you’re using your phone to avoid me, you know?!” He cackled

“Tell me one of yours then” I say, refusing to talk about my fantasy

“I always tell you my fantasies, woman!”

“Well-“ I start, but Drew interrupts me

“And you always make them come true so why don’t you tell me yours so I can do the same? Y/N, my love. We’re married for fuck sake! Why are you acting like a peasant girl who’s ankles I just saw?” He chuckled and I huffed

“C’mon princess, there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. It’s just me, love” He coos

“Promise me you won’t laugh?”

“I promise. Scouts word” He crosses his chest

“Ok, so I... I always thought about you know...I always wanted to fuck a porn star. But, those trashy ones, with the cheesy lines, like where the guy is a plumber or a construction worker or even the gardener” I can feel my cheeks burning with embarrassment

The room is silent, too silent. So I look up at Drew to find him struggling to hold back a laugh but failing completely when he meets my eyes

“You promised me you wouldn’t laugh!” I got up from the couch to leave the room, but Drew was faster, grabbing my arm and pulling me towards his lap

“No! I don’t want to talk to you! I’ll never tell you anything ever again Andrew!” I fight to free myself from his hand, but it was pointless. He successfully made me sit on his lap

“I’m not laughing at your fantasy love, I’m laughing at your reaction to it” He chuckled

“Shut up!” I bitterly said

“You looked so cute, all embarrassed like that because of a pretty simple fantasy. My peasant girl” He teased

I look at him with a frown and a pout

“Awww, don’t make that face, love. I could never laugh at you, you know that” Drew smooch me “Why haven’t you told me before?”

“Because it’s dumb and embarrassing!” I mumbled

“No it isn’t!” He hugged me tighter “It’s a simple fantasy. It shouldn’t take us long to put it together and-“

“We’re not doing it!” I cut him off

“Why not?”

“Because” I sigh “I’m gonna feel stupid doing it and it will turn me off” I lied so maybe he’ll let it go

“Y/N, baby c’mon, don’t be so grumpy” He tries to convince me “There’s no reason for you to feel ashamed, love. We’ve done way worst than that!” He lightly chuckled, trying to lift my mood up

“Can we drop it for now?” I look into his piercing blue eyes “Please, Drew?”

“Ok, ok...I dropped it” He reluctantly said as he caresses my thigh

ONE WEEK LATER

“You have got to be fucking kidding me” I muted under my breath

“Drew?” I call

“Yep” He peeks through the door

“This damn thing is leaking” I pointed towards the en suite bathroom faucet

“Oh shit, that’s why I heard some water dripping last night”

“Really babe?” I ask exasperated

“What? I thought it was one of the cats!”

I rolled my eyes “I already tried everything and it won’t stop. We have to call a plumber”

“Ok, I’ll call one”

I give a little tug on his t-shirt, a sign for him to lean down so I can kiss him “Thank you. I have to go or I’ll get late” I kiss him again

“Ok. Oh, I may not be here when you come back. I‘m gonna work out in the afternoon”

“Ok baby, have a nice day” I smiled

“Oh I will, love. And you will too” He smirked

And I make my way downstairs utterly confused with what Drew just said.

......................................................................

I got home from work and Drew, faithful to his word, wasn’t there. I make my way upstairs to our bedroom so I can take a shower and relax, when the sight of a pair of black worn out boots and blue overalls made me stop at the foot of the bed.

A man had his face tucked into the underside of the sink, while his hands fidget with the siphon. The position of his hands made impossible for me to look at his face.

*I can’t believe Andrew left a stranger alone in our house! I’m gonna kill you Drew* I thought

I was growing a little nervous to be alone with this strange man at my house. He was huge! Tall and broad and a part of me got a little intimidated by it, but I swallowed my fear and asked

“Excuse me, sir?” I voice was trembling

He grunts in response

“I’m sorry, I- I don’t mean to interrupt your work but could you please tell me when are you going to be done?” My voice was still shaky

“I don’t know, it depends” He answer with a thick foreign accent

“Depends on what, sir?” I murmured

“If the lady will want the complete service” He got up from the floor and my mouth dropped

“ANDREW, YOU FUCKER! YOU SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME!” I yelled

“Name is Paul, miss” He comes closer

“This is not funny, you know? Jesus Christ, I thought you left a stranger here by himself. And I was scared as fuck, thinking I would be alone with this random man at home..” I trail off as he stopped in front of me

“Will you want the complete service, miss?”

“Complete service?” I mumbled

He only smirked

“What is the complete service?” I whispered

“Well, I can help you with your wetness situation” Drew tilts his head to the side to stare at my ass “It will only take a long, thick and hard pipe” He grabs a handful of his bulge

And I couldn’t help but laugh

“Drew, don’t be ridiculous, lo- Oh shit!” I gasp in surprise with his hand laying forcefully against my ass cheek

“I already told you the name is Paul, miss”

He was so into this roleplay thing that I decided to not be the cock block and play along.

“Look, Paul” I begin and he happily smiled “I don’t know what services you want to offer but, I’m married” I pointed to my wedding ring

“I’m not jealous” He smirked

“But he is” I respond

He shake his head “He will only be if he finds out. I’m not gonna tell him, are you?” The determination upon his gaze was, to say the least, lustful.

“I’m not gonna tell him, because nothing will happen” I play hard to get

“Are you sure?” He tilted his head to stare at my backside once more “I’ve seen that pathetic excuse of what you call husband and I’m absolute certain he can’t handle all of that” He points with his chin to my ass

“He can” I weakly said

Drew arched his eyebrow “Can he though? Are you trying to convince me or yourself of that, sugar?” He cackled “You see, to me, it looks like you need a real man to fuck you, to ruin you, to make a good use out of that sweet pussy” He grabbed his erection through the fabric, easily taking a handful “And I’m a real man sweetheart” He took my hand, making me cup his hard on “This cock will fill you up in ways you never thought it was possible before. It will make you forget about that pitiful husband of yours. This dick will make you feel like a real woman being fucked by a real man, it will make you feel so fucking good you will never want him to touch you again” He smirks

And all I can do is squeeze his length in consent.

Drew quickly undressed me, tossing me onto the bed as he pulled the overalls down his torso painfully slow. The vision of his dark hair laying around his broad shoulders, his bare chest and abdomen with the upper part of the overalls around his hips made me moan

“Fuck babe, you look so fucking hot like that! I’m one lucky bitch!” I murmur, making him lowly growl and attack my lips in a famished kiss

Drew traveled his lips along my neck, collarbone, top of my breasts and nipples.

He holds both breasts on his hand, squeezing them together so he can fastly go from one nipple to the other.

He licked, sucked and lightly scraped his teeth on each bud, kneading the soft flesh underneath his palms and fingers with gentle yet firm touches.

He roamed down to my mound. Reaping my lace panties apart so he can stare at my leaking core.

“Look at this beautiful pussy” Drew gave me a long lick “Are you dripping like this just from playing with your tits, love?”

I nod “Yeah, because you’re so fucking good at it”

He smirked and placed a gentle kiss on my clit, making me whine.

“You’re so responsive, I love that” He gives me some kitten licks before continuing “I bet that jackass husband of yours never eats this pussy, does he?”

I shake my head, making Drew click his tongue in disapproval.

“What a shame, love. Such a beautiful, sweet, wet pussy just waiting to be eaten” He gave me a long teasing lick “Would you like that, princess? Would you like me to eat your pussy until you cum all over my mouth?”

“Yes, please” I panted

Drew stepped back to get rid of the overalls and underwear. He slides his length along my folds to collect some of my wetness so he can touch himself as he eats me out.

He kneels down on the floor, pulling me closer to the edge of the bed by my hips, Drew closed one fist around his cock and pumped up and down as his mouth closed around my clit, making me roll my eyes to the back of my head.

I moan and he growls, my growing need for release becoming unbearable until...he stops.

“What the fuck?” I faintly asked as I see him kneeling down on the bed.

I was feeling confused, until I felt two of his fingers sinking into my core as his palm rested against my clit, slightly pressing into it.

Drew pulled me by my hair until my lips were on his cock, making me open my mouth so he can slide in.

I hummed in pleasure from both his taste and his fingers pace. The slapping sounds of his fingers and palm against my pussy was pornographic.

I bob my head faster and apply more pressure into his cock’s head making him moan my name loudly.

“Fuck, stop Y/N, stop damn it!” Drew yanked me off of him with a hard tug on my hair

He got up from the bed, pulled me down by my ankles and fastly turned me onto my stomach. I feel his weight on the mattress behind me as he places himself between my legs, quickly entering my core with one hard thrust.

“Oh fuck” I whine

Drew grabs two handfuls of my ass, keeping me in place while he mercilessly pound me. He leaned down, pressing his cheek to mine

“You like being fucked like this don’t you?” He grunted “You love being such a good little whore for me, right princess?”

“Yes, sir”

“Say it!”

“I love being such a good little whore for you, sir” I panted

Drew smacked my ass and placed both of his hands around my neck to both to use it as leverage for his thrusts.

“Who’s fucking this pussy so good, huh?”

“You are, sir”

“And what does a good whore says, Y/N?”

“Thank you, sir” I mumbled

“That’s right, baby” He chuckled

Drew hits my g-spot making me scream

“Oh fuck, it feels so good. You’re fucking me so good, sir! Oh please, don’t stop. Thank you, sir...thankyouthankyouthank” I babble

“You’re gonna cum, Y/N? That’s why you’re clenching so good around my cock baby?”

I nod as much as I can “Please, sir. Let me cum, I beg you” I whined

“You’re look so beautiful, princess. So fucking precious. Cum, love”

I feel numb, almost in an outer body experience from the orgasm ecstasy as I feel Drew release in me. He’s growls and grunts only making the post orgasmic bliss last longer.

I feel him carefully pulling out of me and a few minutes after the warm washcloth cleaning me up.

When he lays down on the bed by my side I mumbled half asleep

“You’re something else, Scotsman”

Drew laughs pulling me up so I can rest my head on his chest.

“The idea was yours, princess”

“But you executed perfectly” I coo

“Well, thank you” He cackled “Was this enough to make you lose your embarrassment to tell me your fantasies?”

“Mhm, if this is going to be the final outcome, I’ll make sure to write them down so you can perform each and every one of them”

“I would like that, love” He chuckled lightly, kissing my forehead as I swim into a deep slumber

Dreaming of a certain plumber named Paul....

Please let me know your thoughts on this and leave me some feedback if you’re comfortable with it 🥰😘

#drew mcintyre imagine #drew mcintyre smut #drew mcintyre fanfic #drew mcintyre x oc #drew mcintyre x reader #drew mcintyre one shot #drew galloway #drew mcintyre #wwe x reader #wwe smut #wwe imagine #wwe fanfiction #wwe one shot #masochist writes

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outrunningthedark · 4 years ago

Note

Okay, but wanna know what actually annoys me. That people are really only starting to hate Taylor now , for what she said/did while Buck wasn't in the right mind set because of Eddie being in the hospital. But why are so many people suddenly forgetting what that woman did the first (or second? can't remember) time we met her and she did that whole story on the 118 fire house.

She wanted to publicly humiliate Bobby in front of all of all of Los Angeles by using his LSD freak out trip with him talking about his dead daughter for everyone to see , only to THANKFULLY be overruled. Then her whole half assed speech to Buck about her job is more important than this and that.

Yeah , that was the moment I hated her and never forgave her. All the rest is just the icing on the cake she made for herself. I honestly could probably have forgiven her for her actions in 4x14 but knowing how manipulative she was in season 2? Hell no

Here's the thing. Tim & his writing staff *knew* that if they were going to bring T*ylor back for the purpose of being Buck's LI they had to alter her personality juuust enough for it to look like she had "changed". Their hope was that the audience would take note of these differences and say "Wow! Character growth!" and that is EXACTLY what happened. - T*ylor assumed Buck asked her out to have "some dinner...maybe some sex", completely in line with their previous encounter. But when she found out Buck's main motivation was to appear unbothered by Albert&Veronica, she took matters into her own hands and left because she wasn't going to be made a fool of. Add to that telling Buck "I could really use a friend these days." and you've got a surefire way to activate the viewer's sympathy. - Buck is the one to reach out to T*ylor after the disaster "date" because he realizes he should have been upfront with her. She does not respond. Her only reason for talking to Buck after the fact is because she "needs a miracle" (helping the public get vaccinated). In doing so, T*ylor prioritized the health and safety of complete strangers above her own personal feelings. - The episode ends with T*ylor saying, "I called you, looking for a miracle, and...you gave me one. Even after I said terrible things. Why?" She took ownership of her words, realizing how much they must have hurt him. Buck could have rejected her request and she would have understood. - In MW’s next appearance, BuckT*ylor is having lunch together. She catches onto Buck very quickly, realizing he wants her to use her spotlight to publicize Sue’s accident. Rather than turn him down, T*ylor is on board...as long as they work together to find out more information. Such good friends, yeah? - T*ylor is hesitant to show Buck the video of Sue’s accident “because you know her”. Look at her compassion! She’s a whole new woman! - Buck assumed T*ylor came over to his apartment to celebrate her latest work/a possible promotion. T*ylor shuts that theory down immediately - “...justice, for Tracy Weber and Sue Blevins. I hear they’re both gonna be okay.” See? She’s evolved! Once again she’s thinking of someone else first! - Lastly, T*ylor turned Buck down twice! She set boundaries! She stayed true to her word that all she wanted from him was friendship! Good for her! (Except...that was a lie.) tl;dr The tumblr/twitter audience prides itself on supporting every single female character to a fault, so they took the crumbs Tim threw at them and decided they were “justified” in supporting the new-and-improved TK.

#anonymous #911 discourse #tv: 911 #tv: 9-1-1 #anti bucktaylor #evan buckley #i'm sorry this took me a minute nonnie. i tried to cover everything.

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everyhowlmarksthedead · 4 years ago

Text

MAYANS MC X READER + BREAST—FEED

Anon asked: May I request mayans Mc x reader on how the boys would react to reader being harassed why breast feeding.

Thanks to my lovely beta reader @chibsytelford for also helping me with those crazy ideas✨

Author comments: I hope you all enjoy. Gif isn't mine, credits to the author.

Tag list: @starrynite7114 @chibsytelford @dazzledamazon @mara-mpou @sammskellington @gemini0410 @1-800-imagines @briana-mishell24 @sassymox @whyisgmora @aquamento @sadeyesgf @viviansafizada @samcrobae @jade770 @witchy-wish @rebel-without-cause-x @arveeee ✨ (if you wanna be tagged, send me a message!)

✨ ANGEL REYES

When Sofia starts to cry, you know it's time for lunch. You're not used yet to her lips destroying your nipple in public, but as father as daughter. You two are sitting on the grass of the Santo Padre's principal park. There's a lot of people around you of different ages, doing different tasks but having fun. So you don't give it so much importance. Taking your daughter between both arms, you put her closer to your breast so she can finally feed herself.

Angel seems like he's only enjoying some free time with his family, so proud of you, with his head above your lap and leaving some kisses on your forearm. Until he watches something he doesn't like. Some old men are whispering about you, and about the fact you shouldn't do it in public. But your husband is not going to let them bother you.

“Yo! What's'ap, ah?” He sits up on the grass moving his hands.

“She should do it at home”. One of them says somewhat upset.

“Why she can't feed my baby here, ah? Is yours that park, ah? Also, look at those tits! THOSE TITS ARE BEAUTIFUL, AND YOU SHOULD BE GRATEFUL FOR SEEING THEM!”

“Good god, Angel… Stop…”

“No! No, baby! What the fuck is wrong with them, ah? Go fuck yourselves!” Showing them the middle finger with a golden ring in it, he lies down again as if nothing happened. “Your tits are beautiful, mi amor. Never forget it”.

✨ CHE “TAZA” ROMERO

“You know that breast-feed gives happiness to the mother?”

The crew is looking at him with parted lips, freaking out that Che doesn't care about the fact that you're feeding his baby boy in front of them. He's totally like a hippie.

“Actually, doing it, the mother releases oxytocin. Love hormone. And by that, the tie between mother and child gets stronger”.

“Ok, we ju—”. Tranq tries to talk, being stopped by your husband again.

“And also relax the mother and free her from stress”.

“I'm not gonna ask again”. Bishop says, starting to feel uncomfortable as he has made you feel with those kind of questions.

“You sure? I know a lot ab—”.

“Yeah, Taza. I'm fucking sure”.

✨ EZEKIEL “EZ” REYES

Mario is inopportune as fuck. He always decides that he's hungry at the worst moment. EZ has to guide the shopping cart through the hallways of the market, putting in all the thing writed down in the list you made, while you feed your favorite boy on earth. You don't feel incommode doing it, but it hurts a little sometimes and growling in public isn't something you're into.

“She should wait to be outside”. You hear a man talking behind you, making you frown. Ez has heard it too.

“She should do it often in front of assholes like you, to shut the fuck up, man”.

The guys didn't see your husband, coming closer to them with both hands placed in the lapels of his Mayans kutte. The size of his arms and the cloth wearing him seems enough to make him run away from you. You laugh, leaning forwards to kiss him softly.

“That was hot, baby”. You chuckle before continue walking.

“Yeah, I earned the other nipple”.

“Ezekiel!” Now you're laughing loud than some seconds ago, while he places an arm on your shoulders.

“But I'm gonna take it at home. I'm too old to do it in public, don' you think, mami?”

✨ GILBERTO “GILLY” LOPEZ

An old man in front of you is staring at your daughter feeding against your chest. Gilly is looking at him back, frowning and feeling disappointed about it. And without expecting and no words, he takes off his shirt, leaving it by a side of the bench and raising his chin proudly.

“Do you like mine, ah?”

You can't help but break in laughs, shaking your head because he'll never stop surprising you.

✨ HANK “TRANQ” LOZA

Your husband just have to growl to the children looking at you, from the swings, to make them run away scared. With a soft smile on the corner of your lips, you look at him offering your right fist to collide it with his.

“Teamwork, papi”.

✨ JOHNNY “COCO” CRUZ

If the situation can't be more unrealistic, with Gilly and Angel looking at you amazed by Daniela feeding herself, Coco turna at you with the only intention to make them feel uncomfortable.

“Can I have some too?”

“YO! MAN! WHATTA' FUCK IS WRONG WITH YA'?!” Both gets up of the sofa with a disgusting gesture on their faces, shaking their heads as they go out of the Templo.

You're laughing as hard as you can, even if it bothers your daughter, because you can't avoid it.

“I was talking serious”. He says then, nodding slowly.

✨ MICHAEL “RIZ” ARIZA

As soon as you put a foot in the mall, the security ward stops you alleging that it's not allowed to breast-feed inside it. You can see Riz sideways frowning to the man and crossing his arms while he faces him.

“Why?” He just simply ask with a hoarse voice, twisting his neck somewhat lost about it.

“Sir, it's not allowed”.

“Yeah', but, why?”

“Because peo—”.

“Where does it say it is not allowed?”.

“Sir, ple—”.

You're just a mere spectator, enjoying watching your husband defend your rights and your daughter's.

“Should I let my baby die of hunger?”

“Sir, I didn—”

“But my wife can't feed her baby girl, because you say that somewhere it's says she can't do it”.

“Si—”.

“Cariño, Rita is ready”. You interrupt the security ward, ignoring him completely. “Hold her a second, please”.

Riz hugs his daughter, as if the other man wasn't there, while you put your shirt on before continue walking.

✨ NERON “CREEPER” VARGAS

Parking the car by a side of the rest area, your husband takes the advantage to buy some candies and the juice you're asking for since one hour ago, while you feed your baby champion. Resting your back against the door, outside of the car, to have some fresh air you can see sideways how a group of bikers are looking at you. And that, makes you feel somewhat uncomfortable, giving them your back and walking away some steps. Even so, you can hear them mumbling about it, till they scream a little begging for apologies.

“Next time, I'm gonna shoot you down, shitheads!”

You turn at your angry husband, pointing them with a gun. You blink several times straight, because you can't believe this is truly happening. And when Creeper is sure they're gone, he walks towards you keeping the gun behind his back, under the jacket.

“They haven't apple juice, but I brought you a peach one, baby”.

“Tha—Thank you…” You say containing some laughs.

“Is it good, buddy?” He asks like nothing happened, kissing Rico's head.

✨ OBISPO “BISHOP” LOSA

Having some free time with Bishop out of the clubhouse is like a miracle, so he decided to have dinner in a new mexican restaurant, next to your house. Resting your back against the chair, you place Amanda on your chest to fees her, leaving some caresses above her head almost brushing her hair with your fingertips.

“Miss, we have a rest-room to do it”.

The waitress claims for your attention, leaning close to not bother the other customers sitting around you. Your husband looks at him raising an eyebrow, sitting up on his chair and putting both arm above the table.

“She can do it wherever she want”. He just say, making the man turn at him, while some people turns at you too looking curious about the scene.

“Yes, bu—”.

“You know who I am, ah?”

“Sir, I'm ju—”.

“I'm the fuckin' Rey de los Mayas, and you're not gonna tell to the Reina de los Mayas where the fuck she can feed the Princesa de los Mayas. You heard me?”

“Yes, sir… I'm sorry”.

“Good. Bring me another beer”.

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lumosinlove · 4 years ago

Text

Coast To Coast

part vii

Harvard University, 2014

There must have been a greater power taunting him.

“Sexy!” Anderson—forward, number 77, alternate captain—had said in the locker room. “That is this year’s Halloween theme, boys. Bring your girls, bring your booze, bring your minimal clothing, bring your A-game.”

Sexy. That was definitely just what Logan needed for his first OKN house halloween party. His new teammates. In minimal clothing.

He rolled onto his back on his dorm bed with a sigh, continuing to scroll through his phone while he waited for Finn to get out of their shared bathroom.

Finn O’Hara. Harzy, the boys called him. Right wing but didn’t always play that way, number 17, a sophomore. Originally from New York City. Logan’s new roommate.

“It’s how it works, rookie,” Anderson had said. “Baby OKs share. You’ll get your own room eventually.”

Logan was fine having a roommate. He had had one at prep school. He didn’t even care if they were messy, he was sure he was twice as bad. But Finn O’Hara. Red hair, six foot even, brown eyes—bambi, the boys called him. A little on the thinner side, but Logan could tell he could bulk up if he wanted to. Finn O’Hara.

There must have been some greater power taunting him.

“Fuck,” Finn’s voice came from within the bathroom. The door was open, but not enough for Logan to see anything. “My balls are going to hate me.”

Logan snorted. “We wear spandex every other day of the year.”

“Yeah, breathable sports spandex, not this plastic shit. Jesus fuck,” there was a groan. “At least I look alright.”

“Stop staring at yourself and let me get in there.”

“Okay, okay,” Finn said, and Logan watched the door move as he pushed it open.

The universe hated him.

Finn was some sort of gladiator, Logan thought, with nothing on but a red cape that clasped around his neck and shoulders, and a pair of tight, gold underwear that left nothing to Logan’s imagination. They had a fake, foam sword clipped at the hip. He had gold paint on beneath his eyes, streaked like a football player, and a gold laurel crown sitting in his red hair. His pale skin was creamy against the gold and the frame of the dark red cape. He had cheap looking sandals on that went all the way up his strong calves, biting into the muscle a little.

Finn spread his arms, turning in a slow circle. “Look at these fucking things. Who makes these and why?”

Logan swallowed, looking at the gold underwear. “For frat parties, I’m guessing.”

“Yeah,” Finn laughed and then bent over his bed to fold his discarded clothes up. His cape slipped away from his back and Logan sat up abruptly.

“Merde, Harzy, those things are barely holding onto you.”

“I told you, my dick is gonna hate me,” Finn said loudly.

Logan smiled and swiped his party city bag from his dresser. “Souhaite moi bonne chance.”

“Swat bon,” Finn rolled his eyes.

Logan laughed and slipped into the bathroom. He could hear Finn putting some music on as he undressed, singing along softly under his breath. Logan gave himself a moment to close his eyes and breathe, fingering his necklace. He’d known Finn for a little over two months. That was it. And already he liked him in the morning. He liked him drunk off his ass. He liked him on the rare lazy day, still under his covers reading a book and wearing his glasses. His glasses. Dark tortoise shell things that turned amber in the sunlight, like his eyes, and just—fuck. He liked Finn on the ice and like it when they were on the same line, something that was happening more and more frequently. He liked Finn, and Finn seemed to like him well enough, and Coach liked them together. The found each other on the ice every time. Logan had never had that before.

Logan rubbed his hands over his face and then reached into the plastic bag for his costume—if he could call it that. A black cape, clasped by the yellow and black Batman symbol, the iconic mask that covered his eyes, and what could only be called underwear. They were black and shiny, with the bat symbol on the ass.

“Merde,” Logan breathed once he squeezed his thighs into the shorts. It was—obscene. He wasn’t hung like some of the guys he’d seen but this certainly made it look like he was. His cock pressed against the fabric as insistently as his ass did. He turned around and looked at the yellow symbol there and was glad that the cape would be covering at least some of it.

“Ready?” Finn said when thumping music started up downstairs meaning people were starting to arrive.

Logan looked out the small bathroom window and towards the dark driveway. Cars were lining up. People were getting out in bikinis and corsets, speedos and stockings.

“Uh, yeah,” Logan said. “One second.”

He looked at himself in the mirror and laughed a little before spinning the bat mask once, and placing it over his head. His hair curled out from under it, and the black frame made his eyes look a little startling.

He looked—not bad. If he was looking to pick up tonight—which he hadn’t done yet at Harvard—he probably could. He turned and looked at his abs, defined from the rigorous pre-season training. He looked good. He pushed away the wish that Finn would notice.

“I’m ready,” Logan said and stepped into the weird plush boots that had come with the costume. He pushed his way out of the bathroom. “Sounds like people are here.”

Finn looked up from his phone, legs spread in a way that was doing Logan zero favors. “Yeah, I—”

Finn’s stare was one Logan had felt before. Spotting him in the weight room, checking each other during drills. Two months of that look that Logan refused to think about. But that was a hard thing, when he had nothing to do but look right into it.

Finn stood abruptly, taller, gold paint reflecting into his eyes and making them light like syrup.

“What’s your,” Finn swallowed. “Tattoo. Necklace. I’ve never asked.”

“Oh,” Logan looked down at his hip. “It’s a fleur-de-lis. Sort of a family thing. Me and my sisters have them in different places.”

“How many sisters do you have?”

“Three. They’re older than I am.”

“Fleur-de-lis,” Finn repeated softly, eyes on the tattoo. He swallowed again and then looked away. “Sick. Should we go?”

“Yeah,” Logan said. “Yeah, I need a drink if I gotta wear this thing all night.”

Finn laughed. “Uh-huh. Me, too.”

Logan lasted about an hour before he couldn’t stand his mask anymore. He left it on a table somewhere, pushing his sweaty hair off of his forehead and wishing for a hat. He’d have to settle for something cool to drink instead.

OKN house had the back door open into the chilly yard and porch. The living room had a drinks table set up, one of those plastic fold out ones that they used at rush and club fairs, beside the great oak dining table that no one actually used except, well, Finn. Finn who planned his essays at this table until it was way too late and he snuck up to the room, trying to be quiet for Logan. Logan, who stayed up just to see him go about his routine and fall into bed. Logan, pretending he was a part of that routine.

Logan might have had a Finn problem. A two-month long Finn problem. A Finn-in-glasses problem. A Finn-dressed-as-a-gladiator problem. A Finn-in-his-red-Harvard-jersey problem with his rough skating and sharp shots.

A Finn over in the corner problem, talking to a girl. Problem.

Logan turned to the drink table and desperately looked for the rum.

Logan was allowed to have a Finn problem. Logan just couldn’t have a Finn…anything else. Finn-wet-dreams, in which he woke up with a gasp, sweating against his sheets and only needing to shove his hand into his pajama pants where he was red and swollen in his own hand, barely touching himself before he was shooting into his fist, eyes resolutely away from the bed across from him. Finn-bringing-him-breakfast, not that he could make more than burnt toast, before he drove them to the rink. Finn-laughing-with-him, like a best friend that Logan had never actually had. There were teammates, and then there were friends.

Finn was a friend. Logan could have a Finn problem, a Finn secret, and a friend.

He just couldn’t have Finn.

The rum was no where to be seen. A shoulder bumped his.

“Hey, rookie,” Finn smiled. “What you looking for?”

Finn’s crown was lopsided, like some sort of halo in an old painting. Like someone had been messing with it. Logan looked for the girl, but she was gone.

“Rum,” Logan said.

Finn did a quick survey of the table and found the bottle easily, unstoppering it and reaching over to pour a healthy amount into Logan’s waiting cup.

“Coke, right?”

Logan nodded.

A Finn-knowing-his-drink-problem.

Finn made himself one, too, and held his cup out for a cheers with a smile. Logan smiled back, clicking their plastic cups together.

“Lost your mask somewhere, Batman. Now the whole world knows your secret.”

Logan laughed tightly and raised his cup to his mouth. “I can’t have that.”

Finn tilted his head, chewing a little on the rim of his cup before taking a drink. He cleared his throat. “You been to the roof yet?”

“Non,” Logan shook his head.

“Wanna? It’s a kinda cool view of campus.”

Logan tried to smile over the hammering in his blood. “That girl didn’t wanna join you?”

Finn rolled his eyes. “Come on.” He pushed off the table and was disappearing into the crowd quickly. Logan squeezed through bodies to follow.

“I found the picture,” Finn shouted. “Nut—fuck, is he still at the store?”

“Oui,” Logan said, filling up a glass of water from the sink. “Did you really find it? Let me see.”

Logan padded over to where Finn was sprawled on the couch and set his glass down before crouching near Finn’s head to see his phone.

“Oh God,” Logan laughed, ducking against Finn’s shoulder.

“Are you kidding? Lo, you look incredible. Fuck me, look at your legs. And you’re bigger now, like Jesus Christ… Ugh.”

Finn swiped his thumb lightly over where Logan’s tattoo was shown on his hip, just above the ridiculous yellow belt.

“This thing used to drive me crazy,” he said softly. “I mean, it still does, but…fuck.”

Finn used to have fantasies, while wishing for Logan, all of which had been very carefully kept faceless. Until this tattoo would make an appearance and ruin it all—and make him come immediately. It was ingrained in his subconscious as a Logan thing, one moment he would be touching himself in the shower, letting his mind wander quietly towards a hard chest against his, a large hand around his dick instead of his own. Faceless. He’d take the boy and press him against the wall of the shower maybe, do whatever he wanted him to do, kiss his neck, rut their cocks together, maybe he would moan Finn’s name—

Logan’s voice. The hip he had his fingers wrapped around was darkly inked, and tanned.

“Mon rouge,” Logan’s voice—really his voice—came through. Finn looked up at the touch of fingers through his hair. “Where did you go?”

Finn looked at Logan and took a slow breath. He was so familiar. He had been right there for so long, but it was only now that he was close.

“That was…” Finn swallowed. “Kind of a hard night.”

Logan’s brows drew together, and he nodded minutely after a moment. “We’ve had a few hard nights, non?”

Finn looked back at his phone, and then Logan was taking it out of his hand, clicking it off, and setting it on the coffee table. Finn sat up a little as Logan climbed into his lap, knees pressed to his hips. Finn ran his hands over his shoulders, then up beneath his sweatshirt to his broad back. He was bigger now. Stronger.

Logan pressed his fingers through Finn’s hair again and then a kiss to his jaw, one side, and then the other, his cheeks, and then his mouth.

“They lead us here,” Logan said softly. “The hard nights.”

Finn’s throat felt tight. He squeezed his eyes shut. “Fuck. I know. I know they did.”

“Let me show you it’s easier now,” Logan said. “D’accord? Harzy, let me.”

“Lo,” Finn rasped out. He ran his thumb over where he knew the tattoo was, had memorized it quickly, would kiss it endlessly.

“You work hard for everyone,” Logan said the words into another kiss. “You worked hard trying to make me not be afraid, even when I was horrible and terrified.” He kissed down Finn’s throat and Finn’s mouth dropped open. “Even when you were terrified, even when I hurt you. Let me. Finn…”

Finn let out a breath, eyes opening to the ceiling, then to Logan’s when he brought their mouths back together.

"Let me.”

“I took you to the roof,” Finn gasped as Logan pressed against him, warm and real. “I don’t know what I was expecting, I…fuck, we barely knew each other.”

“Do you have any idea how much I wanted you,” Logan said. “Lean up for a sec.”

Finn let Logan pull his t-shirt off of him, let him press wet kisses to his neck and shoulders. It felt good, but part of him itched to flip them, to make Logan feel good. Kiss down his chest, kiss that tattoo.

“Relax,” Logan laughed softly, easing Finn back against the cushions. “You have to let me love you. I need it, Finn. I need to.”

Finn’s cock began to fatten up at that. He let his head fall back. “Lo…”

Logan reached behind him to yank his sweatshirt off and—and there he was. Real.

Finn pressed his palms against his chest, his stomach, feeling the hard curves of his muscles. Logan pressed his hands over Finn’s, bringing them to touch his neck, his pecs. “Let me take care of you for once. Rest and let me.”

Logan leaned down for another, soft kiss and then was swinging off of the couch. His cock was a soft outline in his sweatpants. “Allez.”

Logan pulled Finn up and Finn couldn’t help but back him against the nearest wall, just for a moment, thumb back against the fleur-de-lis, lips harsh against his jaw, just the way he knew Logan liked.

Logan let out a laugh that cut off in a moan. “Non, non—”

Finn pulled back and Logan’s smile made him smile. Logan was flushed and his neck was red from Finn’s mouth. Finn sucked a bruise on top of the blush on the side of his throat, and Logan’s short nails pressed into Finn’s back. Finn reached down and cupped Logan’s cock within his sweatpants, feeling the heat of it through the fabric.

“Non, non, non, allez,” Logan was still half laughing, walking Finn backwards towards his bedroom. “Je prends soin de toi. I’m taking care of you.”

“But I like making you come,” Finn grinned, only just managing to give Logan’s ass a squeeze before Logan pushed him back onto the bed. He bounced a little, pushing himself against the pillows before tapping his thighs. “C’mere, baby.”

Logan shucked his sweatpants off, followed by his socks, and then it was just him, bare and standing there in front of Finn. Finn swore softly and reached down to palm himself.

“Non,” Logan shook his head and knelt on the bed, cock standing out and wet. The sight only made Finn give himself another squeeze. Logan was straddling his hips then, snatching his hands and moving them to his waist. Finn wrapped his arms all the way around Logan, bringing their bare chests together.

He kissed him hard. “Gonna take my pants off, too? Can’t do much like this.”

Logan scoffed and hit the side of Finn’s head lightly, making Finn laugh. But he obliged, coaxing Finn to lift his hips so he could pull his sweatpants away. He leant to kiss the newly exposed skin, mouth soft against Finn’s hips and stomach, hand wrapping around his cock. Finn let out a slow breath and tangled his fingers in Logan’s hair.

He wasn’t expecting it when Logan sucked the head of his cock into his mouth. Logan hadn’t done that yet. He made Finn sit up, abs tightening.

“Tremz,” he panted out a breath. “Oh fuck.”

Leo had been wanting and loving about going down on Finn. It had practically broken Finn’s brain, seeing him there, blue eyes open with his mouth full of his cock. They’d laughed and kissed sending those videos to Logan. It was unbearably hot, thinking of Logan, seeing them, wanting them.

This was entirely different. It was different with both of them. With everything.

Leo and Finn liked to read together, swapping favorite passages. Logan didn’t read much, but he liked to be read to. Finn had always known that, had done it a million times back at Harvard. But now he knew that Logan liked to lay on Finn’s chest while he read, aloud or to himself, and fall straight asleep. He’d always fallen asleep to Finn’s voice. But now he was a weight on top of Finn, breathing softly against his neck and Finn just…

Logan’s mouth was soft, too, tongue pressing against the head of his cock.

Finn loved him.

“Lo, Lo, Lo…” Finn panted. “Fuck, baby.”

Logan just hummed and sucked down further for a moment before popping off and smiling a sweet smile. “Did it with Leo.”

Finn huffed out a laugh, throbbing at the image. “I should be no fucking problem, then.”

Logan laughed, too. “I hope he comes home soon.”

“Me, too,” Finn said. He wanted him with them.

“I guess I know a way to pass the time until he comes back.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah,” Logan smiled and rolled onto his back, producing lube from Finn didn’t know where. He spread his thighs. “Love it when Knutty does this, the fucking splits.”

Finn leaned forward, running his hands down Logan’s smooth skin. “Yeah. I didn’t even think about how goalies do that until him.”

Finn watched Logan’s face as he slipped two fingers into himself.

“Baby,” Finn said softly. “Let me.”

“Non, you watch.”

Finn sat up further, hand going to his cock—

“Don’t,” Logan panted, head against the bedspread as he worked himself. “Watch.”

Finn sighed and took Logan’s thighs back in his hands and kissed the inside of his knee. There was a little scar there from a night that happened a long time ago. Finn remembered.

Logan laughed breathlessly. “You can’t help yourself.”

“I love you so much.”

Logan’s breathing hitched, green eyes hazy. “Finn…”

Finn kissed it again, and then the other one, and then his thighs. He sucked kisses into the skin, bringing purple to the surface. Logan was marked by the time he sat up.

He was quiet as he pressed Finn back against the pillows. He wet his lips.

“Lo, what—”

“Why do you have your socks on, you weirdo,” Logan said as he swung a leg over Finn’s thighs. Finn’s cock nudged his entrance, and Logan gasped, cutting himself off.

He leaned down and captured Finn’s mouth in a needy kiss and reached behind himself to line Finn up. It was only then that Finn realized—Logan was going to—

Logan’s thighs were firm beneath Finn’s hands as he sunk down on him. Finn’s mouth dropped open at the feeling, of Logan in complete control. It wasn’t like fucking him at all, it was Logan, above him, head tilted back with the feeling of Finn filling him up.

“Finn,” Logan’s voice was more whine than anything else. “Finn, Finn, Finn—“

And he was seated, their hips together, Logan’s cock drooling between them.

“Holy shit,” Finn could barely breathe in. “Holy fucking shit, Lo.”

Logan got his knees under him and pushed himself up before sinking down again. Finn clutched Logan’s hips as all the breath seemed to punch out of Logan’s lungs. He did it again, and again, landing hard with each thrust, completely gone with fucking himself on Finn’s cock. Finn was mesmerized with the wide expanse of tan skin he had to kiss, Logan’s collarbones and shoulders, tongue running over his nipples as Logan’s thighs worked around him.

Logan shifted his hips and pitched forward into Finn’s chest with a curse, burrowing his face in Finn’s neck as he rolled his hips forward in small, sharp motions, hitting that spot inside him again and again.

“There you go, baby,” Finn said, wrapping his arms under Logan’s and around his broad shoulders. He pushed up in time with Logan, making Logan practically shout. “Be as loud as you want, there you go.”

“Finn,” Logan just kept saying, slipping a few times and saying Leo’s name instead. It made Finn all the hotter to think that Logan was imagining Leo there with them, sitting beside them on the bed, maybe working Logan’s cock into his mouth.

Logan’s breathing hitched up and he tightened his arms around Finn’s neck, fingers gripping his hair to pull Finn back for a sloppy kiss as he started to raise his hips again, skin slapping down against Finn’s. He worked until Finn was sure his thighs had to be burning, no matter how toned they were. Finn was going to lose his fucking mind.

“What,” a voice came from the doorway.

Finn looked up to the side to see Leo standing there, keys in his hand.

“Leo,” Logan gasped, and reached a hand out while rocking himself down on Finn’s dick.

Leo walked forward slowly towards the bed and took Logan’s hand like he was in a daze, staring at their naked bodies, slick with sweat by now. Logan yanked him forward and started undoing his belt.

“Hi, Peanut,” Finn panted, head falling back again as Logan rocked against him harder. “Store was—good?”

“I…” Leo was staring at where Logan was wrapping an arm around his waist now, leaning forward to press sloppy kisses over where Leo’s cock was quickly filling in his underwear.

“Knutty,” Logan said, before getting his fingers under the band of Leo’s boxers and pulling down so that Leo’s cock fell out. Leo laced his fingers into Logan’s hair, a laugh startling out of him.

“Logan, oh my god, I’m still holding my keys and wallet. I have my shoes on.”

“Allez.”

Leo just shook his head, raking his fingers through Logan’s sweaty hair. He dropped his things onto the night stand and then tugged his t-shirt off in one go, pushing off his shoes next. Logan let him undress, turning back to Finn and pressing his hands to Finn’s shoulders.

“Don’t touch him,” Leo said as he kicked his boxers aside. He fell down on the bed beside Finn and wrapped a large palm around himself, stroking his shaft. “Come on Finn’s cock, Tremz.”

“Non. Finn.”

Finn watched Logan and Leo share a look that he didn’t quite understand.

“I found the Batman picture,” Finn offered as a hopeful way to get into whatever silent communication Leo and Logan were having. “Sort of—” Finn hissed as Logan tightened around him. “Stirred up some memories if you couldn’t tell, fuck.”

Leo raised an eyebrow, shifting to sit on his heels. “Oh yeah?” He ran a hand down Logan’s back and Logan slowed until he was rocking gently, leaning a little into Leo. Leo looked at Finn. “How’d he look, Harzy?”

“He looked—” Finn began, and then cut off. The sudden well of emotion that had cut through him earlier seized around his heart again. He looked at Leo, all kind eyes, running his hand through Finn’s hair. And Logan, connected to Finn in every possible way right then. Finn opened and closed his mouth, swallowed over a dry throat, and looked at Logan. “He looked…”

The October air was a relief on Finn’s face when he pushed open the old window to the roof of OKN house. He turned back to look at Logan. They had thrown sweatpants and sweatshirts on, Finn had swiped a bottle of rum from the kitchen. The only real remnants of their outfits was Logan’s mussed hair and the gold on Finn’s cheeks.

Finn still felt like he was wearing a costume.

“This is semi-secret,” Finn said as he climbed out onto the tiles, vans catching on the rough material. “And by that I mean I really think no one likes it out here but me.”

He heard Logan laugh from behind him and smiled, pleased.

Fuck.

“You, the roof, and the dining room table,” Logan said.

The rum sloshed gently as Finn settled himself in the curve of the tiles, putting his hood up for some warmth and cushion. Logan did the same, and they settled shoulder to shoulder.

“Might have to steel your spot,” Logan said. “You can keep the table, though.”

“We already share a room and a starting line,” Finn handed him the bottle. “Wouldn’t be so bad.”

Logan’s smile was bright in the moonlight. “Well, good.”

They were quiet for a few moments, passing the rum back and forth to keep warm.

“Do you think you’re gonna make it? To play, I mean.” Logan asked him suddenly.

Finn knew Logan didn’t know just how loaded of a question he was asking. Was Finn going to make it? Hopefully. Was Finn going to survive it? If there was another teammate who became what Logan was quickly becoming, if Finn slipped up…

Hopefully.

He couldn’t read Logan. He couldn’t risk misreading Logan. He shouldn’t even try.

“Yeah,” Finn nodded. “I do, actually. I…you know, there’s all those statistics and shit but I also…feel it? If that doesn’t sound completely stupid? You?”

“I…” Logan hesitated. “I’m not sure.”

“Come on, have you seen you play?”

One corner of Logan’s mouth raised, but he looked different beneath the moon. He was looking intently at Finn, bottle clutched to his chest.

“I don’t know,” he said. “I feel…”

Finn waited for him to continue, but when Logan merely shrugged, he pressed on.

“Hey, I’d take you. Any day.”

It didn’t have the intended effect. The look that crossed Logan’s face looked almost—pained.

“I mean,” Finn tried to decide how to backtrack. “Maybe one day, eh? Anything could happen.”

Logan turned to look out over campus. He nodded mutely and took another drink. Finn felt concern draw around his heart.

“Lo, are you okay?”

Logan’s eyes snapped back to him. “Quoi?”

“What? Oh. Oh. Oh, no, I…” Finn laughed, a little awkwardly. “I didn’t really mean to…that’s been, like—it’s just been bouncing around my head for a while and I guess it slipped out.”

“That’s okay,” Logan said slowly. “I’m okay.”

“It’s okay if you aren’t. I mean… freshman year, Harvard hockey…it’s a lot of pressure. Believe me, I know.”

Another surprising thing. Logan closed his eyes and shook his head. “Non.”

Finn blinked. “What do you mean?”

Logan shook his head. “Nothing, I just…I’m probably a little drunk, I don’t even know.”

Finn let Logan hand the bottle of rum back to him, clutching it to his chest just to hold onto something. He didn’t know what to make of Logan’s no. No Finn didn’t know what it was like? That wasn’t true. If anything, Logan didn’t know what he was going through. Logan didn’t think about kissing Finn.

Logan stole the bottle back. “If you’re not gonna drink.”

He had a smile on his face again, one of his small secret ones. Finn, despite the uncertainty, smiled back. He couldn’t help it around Logan. Logan, who he now knew was the youngest with three sisters. Logan, who drank rum and coke. Logan, who hated doing his homework, but liked listening to Finn do his. Logan, who fought boys twice his size.

Before Finn could say anything, a rumble of thunder sounded off in the distance. It made them both look up and across campus.

“Halloween storm,” Finn said. “I guess that’s fitting.”

“My weather app said something about it,” Logan said after a moment.

Finn smiled. Logan, who checked a weather app.

Logan saw his smile and gave him a small shove. “Let’s go before it starts to rain and—and lightning and shit.”

“Don’t like storms?”

Logan was already pulling his hood more firmly on his head and maneuvering himself into a crouch. “Not really.”

“Well,” Finn started following him back to the window. “I don’t know about Canada, but we get some pretty crazy ones out here.”

Logan huffed, pushing the window up. “Well, super.”

Finn frowned. “Do you really not like—”

“Merde,” Logan hissed and stumbled the rest of the way through the frame. “Fuck.”

Finn pulled himself through a second later, eyes falling to the rip in Logan’s sweatpants by his knee, the red bleeding into the thick material.

“Shit, Tremz,” Finn said. “Is it bad?”

“It’s fine,” Logan said, looking at it carefully. “I’m fine.”

“Let me see, sit down.”

“I’m—”

“Let me see, speaking as your alternate captain now.”

Logan narrowed his eyes at him pulling that card, but sat on a ratty window seat. Finn grinned at him and crouched between his legs. He steadied himself on Logan’s knee, and then pushed Logan’s sweatpants up carefully, revealing his leg—a leg that Finn had been trying very hard not to stare at in skin-tight Batman underwear all evening. His skin was warm.

Finn would have liked a longer excuse to touch Logan, but the cut was small if not a little deep—thankfully not too bad. It was already beginning to stop bleeding.

“You should be good. Wasn’t anything rusty, just the wood edge. There’s some stuff in our bathroom from when I cut my cheek open last year.”

“Okay,” Logan said quietly. It was only then that Finn realized how still he was holding himself in Finn’s hands. It made Finn back up immediately, neck going hot. Who knew what Logan thought. Finn was so careful. So careful.

“Okay,” Finn said, then cleared his throat. “Okay, cool.” He looked around and then picked up the rum bottle from the floor. “Yeah.”

Logan pushed his sweatpants back into place and stood. “I’ll go check it out. Thanks, Harzy. See you in the room.”

“Yeah,” Finn managed faintly. He watched Logan send him a raw looking smile before jogging down the narrow staircase with a tight heart.

“Always taking care of me,” Logan was kissing his neck. “Remember the storm that night?”

Finn found Leo’s eyes before Leo was kissing his chest, teeth scraping over his nipple. Logan was grinding down on him in slow circles, making Finn choke out a moan. Their mouths on him ripped him right out of the memory.

Sometimes happiness made sadness’s edge sharper.

Finn blinked heat away from his eyes, but then Leo was there again, cock against his thigh, mouth brushing his own. Leo. Finn held one hand against Logan’s hip, the fleur-de-lis, and the other circled Leo’s back, fingers tangling in his hair to pull him in for a kiss. He loved kissing Leo.

“You deserve it, too, remember? Like we said.” Leo said.

Logan mouth was softer now, against his jaw. “Maybe it’s time we show you.”

Finn could only sit there and take it, the two of them, warming him through and through.

Leo leaned into Finn’s touch. “Like you told me.”

Finn woke up with Leo pressed along his front for the first time the morning before they left for Florida. It was to a six AM alarm, Finn was exhausted, but it was one of the best mornings. Finding out Logan was coming to Gryffindor. Waking up wrapped around Leo. Tied for best mornings. After a few kisses, they had to get up, even if it felt like they were a world away from anything normal. Finn actually smiled to himself in the shower the entire time. He was giddy as hell, and Leo was in the kitchen making coffee and eggs and he could kiss Leo while he did that now. He could kiss Leo while he was reading on the couch, he could kiss Leo goodnight and crawl into bed next to him. And and and.

Leo looked up when Finn entered the kitchen, hunched over his coffee cup with two steaming plates in front of him. “Hi.”

Finn just walked forward and turned Leo away from the counter and towards him. “Leo.”

Leo took a lock of his hair, the red darkened from the shower, and curled it around his finger. “You look a little too serious for my liking.”

“You’re okay with all of this, right?” Finn said, and then the words rushed out. “You’re okay with me, and with Logan—hopefully—and you feel good and not pressured, and I just want to make sure because, Leo, I’m not that much older than you but I am older than you. And I need you to know that I want this with everything I fucking have but not if you’re in any way not happy, or, like, nervous, or…I just want,” Finn felt Leo press his hand to his cheek. “I just want to make sure. And I’m gonna keep making sure.”

“Harz…” Leo’s smile was small, almost disbelieving. “I’m so happy. I’m so happy.”

“Well…good,” Finn let out a breathless laugh, relieved. “Because you deserve to be.” Finn pressed his hands to either side of Leo’s face and kissed him once, twice, and then Leo held him there with a hand on the back of his head, licking into his mouth and making Finn sway into the cradle of his thighs. “I really, really like you, Peanut.”

“I like you, too. Even though you’re going to make us late.”

Finn just smiled into their next kiss. “I’ll get the dishes, okay? You go take a shower.”

Logan was already under his covers by the time Finn came into the room. The halloween storm was getting sharper. It was raining now, lightning flashing against the sky. Logan had his headphones in, and his eyes were dark as they followed Finn around the room as he undressed. Finn could hear his music from all the way in the bathroom.

Finn found the Batman mask by the sink and laughed, heart pulling when he thought about Logan’s green eyes in it, staring a little self consciously out at him earlier that night. He brushed his teeth and then put it on.

Logan raised an eyebrow when Finn came out, but he laughed and pushed his headphones away from one ear, making his hair stick up.

“Forgot your secret identity,” Finn grinned.

“Too late now.”

Finn bit his lip as he crossed the room to his own bed, putting the mask down. Logan was certainly his secret. Logan had grown quickly into Finn’s mind, so fast that Finn hadn’t really realized it. One morning, he just woke up thinking about kissing Logan square on the mouth.

Logan took a shaky breath from the other side of the room and set his headphones on his nightstand with a glance outside. Lightning cracked across the sky, lighting up the room. Logan’s fists squeezed around his blanket.

Finn slumped down against his pillows with a sigh, taking the book he was reading from his bedside. He could hear people leaving downstairs, screaming and laughing in the wind and rain.

“I don’t like storms,” Logan said quietly. He wasn’t looking at Finn, and he was messing with his fingers agitatedly, covers pulled high on his chest. “I don’t really know why, I just…I don’t like them.”

“I don’t like seaweed,” Finn shrugged, but warmed when Logan actually laughed. “I don’t know, man, it’s just slimy. Thunder’s loud as fuck, I mean, it doesn’t not make sense to not like it.” He took a breath. “You want the light on? It won’t bother me at all.”

Logan looked at him for a long moment, before nodding. “Oui. Thanks, Harzy.”

“Harzy,” Logan said against his mouth, and Finn felt his back arch as Logan drew them closer together.

Finn couldn’t get any words out, though, not with Logan hot around him, with Leo sucking intently at his neck, rutting against his thigh. He let out a harsh breath and tightened his fingers in Leo’s hair. They were both hard and dripping onto his chest and stomach and Finn wanted to do something for them. He was aching inside Logan, breathless from his own memories.

“Please,” he said, and he wasn’t even sure what he was asking. He tried to sit up, to reach for them. He wanted to surround them, to pull them against him harder.

Leo shushed him gently, pulling him into a kiss and easing him back against the pillows.

“You were gonna go all the way and get me the stars,” Leo whispered, a light laugh following. “Fuck, Finn…”

“I just—” Finn flexed his hips up into Logan and Logan’s brows scrunched together, hands keeping him upright against Finn’s chest.

“I’m gonna come,” Logan panted, his hips fucking down on Finn. “Fuck, I can’t—”

Logan’s hips stilled and he gasped, cock still red and hard. He fucked once, twice, as if he couldn’t help it, but Finn groaned in protest as Logan gingerly pulled off. Finn watched his own cock bobbing an angry red against his stomach, shiny with come and lube. Logan collapsed into Finn’s side, sweaty and running his hand down Finn’s chest to his balls, cupping them gently.

“Always taking care of us,” Logan breathed. “Fuck, Harz, I love you, but you have to let us take care of you.”

They’d only fucked a handful of times—and Finn was looking forward to many, many more handfuls—but he guessed it was true.

“I like it,” He said. And that was true too. He loved it. His breathing hitched as Leo licked a stripe from Logan’s fingers to the tip of Finn’s cock. “Fuck, Leo.”

Leo just smiled, cheeks a deep red and swung a leg over Finn’s hips. Finn’s hand shot out to grip Leo’s thighs.

“Baby, did you even—”

Leo nodded. “You were a little preoccupied.”

“I could of done it.”

Logan laughed, pressing a kiss to Finn’s cheek. “That’s not the point of right now.”

Leo’s cock hung heavily, balls swollen and tip wet. Finn itched to touch him, but instead Leo cupped his cock against his abs, giving Finn a perfect view of him sinking down over Finn’s.

“We’re all here together,” Logan said softly, accent thick as Finn’s eyes closed at the feeling of Logan’s hand and Leo’s body. “We’re all here for each other, mon rouge. Let us.”

Leo’s head was tilted back, hips rocking in slow circles. Finn cursed, gripping Leo’s pale thighs, longer and leaner than Logan’s.

“Peanut,” Finn gasped. “Jesus, did you two practice this on each other, too?”

Leo’s smile was hazy and blissful. “Maybe.”

Finn groaned, head dropping back into the pillows. Finn loved the two of them together. His two.

Leo’s breathing turned heavy and then he pressed up and sunk down again, punching a sound out of himself. “Fuck.”

“There you go, pinotte,” Logan said from beside Finn. His palm was warm around Finn’s balls still, the sensation making Finn feel like he was about to be right on the edge. Leo was still holding his own cock, but not stroking it, just sinking down around Finn again and again. His blond hair darkened against his forehead.

“I’m close,” Finn said. “Jesus, fuck, I’m so close.”

The urgency had come out of nowhere, but he ached with it. Logan’s hand squeezed again around his balls, and then Leo was pulling off, too. Finn’s abs jumped and the loss. He fisted the sheets.

“Boys, this is not what I call appreciation,” Finn’s knees drew up on their own, trying to seek out any type of friction. His cock beaded precome across his stomach.

“Non?” Logan said, and then he was gone from against Finn’s side. Finn felt aflame, like he could feel every touch, and every absence.

Leo smoothed a hand down his stomach, through the mess, and then his mouth was back on Finn’s cock—and so was Logan’s.

“Huh—“ Finn wasn’t sure if he was breathing properly as his hands shot out to tangle in their hair, brunette and blonde. They lapped at him, mouths meeting occasionally around his wet, swollen tip. They’re—

“Fucking gorgeous, what the hell,” Finn managed, and he did sit up this time, legs splayed, pressing against their chests, palms rubbing over their spines. He had to close his eyes for a minute when Logan’s mouth found his balls and sucked at them, at the sensitive skin at his root, all while Leo’s mouth was sinking down, down. Finn felt it like a bruise, like a hurt that was so good it shattered, he shattered, looking at them.

Finn tried to keep his hips still as he came in Leo’s mouth with a low sound, bowed with his forehead pressed to Leo’s shoulder.

They kissed him, and then kissed each other, and then Logan was crawling across Finn and into Leo’s waiting arms. They smiled at each other, and Finn thought that was better than any of the sex. Leo’s hands were shaky as he pushed into Logan. Logan sunk down on Leo’s cock twice before he was shouting, come hot and white against Leo’s skin. Finn pressed himself all along Logan’s back and held him as Leo fucked into him a handful of times and came, too, face buried in Finn’s neck.

They were breathing hard, like a fine current surrounded the three of them, placing their breaths in sync. Finn was—

Leo closed the door to the balcony of Finn’s Florida hotel room and paced back to the bed, sitting beside him. Finn rubbed a hand up and down his back, thumb bumping along his spine.

“He’s hurting,” Leo said, eyes down. “He’s hurting, and he won’t let us tell him that we…”

“Lo’s always needed to do things in his own time. Always. We’ll get to him, we’ll talk to him.”

“I…” Leo cut off with a sigh and rubbed his hands over his face. Then he turned into Finn and Finn wrapped him up close.

“We’ll sort it out. Believe me, I’ve been waiting a long fucking time for this,” Finn pressed a kiss to Leo’s cheek. “For you, too, even if I didn’t know it.”

Leo smiled, even if his eyes were still a little sad.

“You’re right,” he said, and then paused. “Maybe we’ll just kidnap him at the buffet.”

Finn snorted. “Maybe.”

Leo took Finn’s hand in his lap and kissed it. “I think we’ll be together soon.”

It was too good. It was all his. Finn ran one hand over Logan’s abs slowly before pressing his palm over his pounding heart. With his other on Leo’s back, he could feel Leo’s heartbeat, too. They were louder to him than his own. Logan’s head was tilted back against his shoulder, his eyes closed, and Finn leant down and kissed his cheek.

“Knutty, c’mere,” he breathed. “C’mere.”

Leo’s cheeks were red like his mouth and he knelt his way over to Finn’s chest, leaning his chin up for a kiss. He pressed his hand to Finn’s cheek, swiping his thumb over his jaw.

“Stubble,” he mumbled with a smile, and dragged his lips over it happily.

Finn laughed softly. “I’ve been playing good, I gotta keep it.”

Logan looked up and all but smacked Finn in the face to feel. “Fucking loved that in college.”

“He had it the first day I met him,” Leo smiled, nuzzling against Finn’s slightly rough jaw and the dark red hair there.

“The fuck’s on your face, O’Hara,” was Logan’s greeting during preseason camp Finn’s senior year.

They’d seen each other a few weeks prior when Logan was still in the city staying with Finn’s family. He’d spent the last weeks of July with his own family, and how here they were, back at Harvard, sticky with sweat from ground training. Seeing Logan again after weeks, even just after a night’s sleep, was always a bit of a punch to the gut for Finn. He was tanned from the summer sun, sinfully so, and Finn wanted to—

“What?” Finn laughed, lifting his shirt up to wipe his face—including the week old beard he’d been experimenting with. “I don’t know about it, what do you think?”

He was thankful he was already sweating, because his face heated with the question. He needed to know what Logan thought, always.

Logan, green eyes were made light by his black snapback, walked forward. He took Finn’s chin between his fingers, turning his head this way and that before rubbing his palm over his cheek. Finn swallowed.

“Nice face,” Logan said.

Finn laughed. “You made fun of me.”

Leo snorted. “Well, neither of us could very well say fuck, what a hottie.”

“Nut, please go around calling Finn a hottie from now on,” Logan laughed, and then let out a breath. “Fuck, that was so hot.”

“I still haven’t seen the picture,” Leo said, and then, more quietly. “What activated our Finn plan, Tremz?”

Finn blinked. “Finn plan?” Logan looked up at Finn with a smile and Finn raised an eyebrow, tweaking his nipple and making him swear and laugh Finn’s favorite laugh. “What the hell is a Finn plan?”

“Just…” Logan looked over his face, and then to Leo, reaching out and petting a hand through Leo’s hair. “We wanted to show you that we want you just as much. That we want to take care of you as much as you always tell us you want to take care of us.”

Finn looked between them. “You…”

“We were talking about it,” Leo began.

“And making out,” Logan added.

“And making dinner one night,” Leo laughed. “And, I don’t know, we just sort of…when we felt the time was good, decided we’d make sure you knew.”

Logan nodded, hair tickling Finn’s throat. “You looked pretty sad there for a second, mon rouge, looking at that picture.”

“And when you were telling me about your rookie year, remember?” Leo said. “In Florida, after we got together?”

“I’m just saying,” Finn shrugged. They were laying down facing each other on Finn’s bed. Timmy was out with Kuny and Nado and, when that happened, he didn’t come back for a good while. Finn didn’t want to do anything too risky, but kissing Leo until he was soft and smiling seemed like a good plan. Logan wasn’t picking up his phone. He wasn’t in his and Leo’s room.

Kissing had soon turned into worrying.

“I’m just saying, I’m really glad you didn’t have to do the rookie season hotel shit. I’m so glad you’re with me. When I did it, it just,” Finn watched where his thumb was stroking over Leo’s knuckles. “I mean, Logan wasn’t really talking to me. I was trying to give him space, but I—missed him. Sorry,” Finn laughed a little, clearing his throat around the hot tears forming there.

“Don’t be,” Leo said. “Harzy, you love him. Of course you missed him.”

“I just waited for him to call forever,” Finn said in a rush. “And I’d wait forever again, you know, but I…I would just stare at my—phone,” Finn’s voice hitched. “And then I finally called him and it was horrible, I could barely talk.”

Leo’s eyes were sad and he pressed closer to Finn.

“I’m just happy you wanted to talk,” Finn whispered into the small space between them. “I’m so fucking glad we talked and now look, I can kiss you, Leo. Even though I’m crying,” Finn smiled a little, and Leo kissed him.

“You’re allowed to cry over him. Fuck, you think I haven’t cried over both of you?”

Finn laughed and rubbed his eyes. “Hope you don’t cry over me anymore.”

Leo grinned, swinging a leg over Finn’s hips. “I think they call you Heartthrob-O’Hara for a reason.”

“I remember,” Finn said softly. He couldn’t think about that phone call, though. Not yet. With time. “I didn’t know you remembered, Nut.”

Leo nodded. “I think we all remember.”

Logan let out a shaky breath against Finn’s chest and Finn rested his lips against the crown of Logan’s head. Maybe Logan couldn’t think about it either. Logan, who had tried to be so bright for him, even when he could tell Finn was crying.

Leo smiled. “Got a couple of star crossed lovers on my hands.”

Finn felt Logan’s laugh this time. “Care to join the party?”

“Yes, please.”

Finn groaned at the soft syllables in Leo’s voice, the drawn out ones in Logan’s. “You both get accent-y after sex."

“Tired,” Logan said.

“Fucked,” Leo sighed.

Logan laughed loudly, eyes squeezing shut, and he nudged Leo with his hand before wrapping his fingers around his arm and pulling him close for a kiss.

Finn didn’t think they were star crossed anymore. They had orbited around that somehow and ended up here, pulled by Leo’s gravity, into a tangle of light.

“In the middle,” Leo laughed, and bent briefly to press a lingering kiss to the dark ink on Logan’s hip before returning to his mouth. “Just how you like it.”

Finn smiled. Finn was just where he liked it, too. Feeling the weight of both of them in his arms, not moving, not going anywhere, their voices soft in a room the was safe and warm.

“What do you like, Nut?” Finn said. “Tell me.”

Leo bit his lip. “Looking at you two. I never even thought I’d have one person. And if I did, I thought they’d get tired of secrets. Scared away.” Leo let Finn pull him closer. “Secrets made you two stronger. And you’re not gonna leave me because you have to keep me a secret, either.” Leo’s gaze flickered. “I like looking at you two and knowing that.”

“Knutty, Knutty, Knutter, Nut, Nutter butter baby,” Finn sing-songed as he shuffled into the kitchen, voice sleepy and hair a mess. He felt awake after last night, his boys, on him, with him, working their way so deep into his bones and heart that he bled and bruised and breathed them. It felt good.

He rested his cheek against Leo’s back as he wrapped his arms around him from behind while eggs sizzled on the stove.

“Morning, Harz,” Leo said.

“Sup,” Finn sighed.

Leo snorted, then took a strip of bacon he had cooling from a plate. “Here.”

Finn made an appreciative sound and took it between his teeth.

“Do you wish we could cook?” Finn asked as he chewed.

Leo wavered his head back and forth. “No,” he decided. “I think you can do more than you think you can, but I like cooking for you. You guys clean up. It’s like being on a cooking show. All the fun, none of the work.”

Finn laughed, pressing a kiss to Leo’s shoulder through his t-shirt. “Cute.”

“Is he awake yet?”

“No,” Finn said, pulling three coffee mugs down from the cupboard. Logan, easily awoken, hard to wake up. “Somehow we managed to sneak out. Lightest sleeper ever. You know, I used to have to pee on roadies or when we were roommates—I mean I still pee, but you get the idea. And he would jump up like there was a fucking burglar.”

Leo dumped the eggs onto the waiting plates and flicked the hot pan off. He came up behind Finn this time, hands on his hips while the smell of brewing coffee rose in the air. Finn leaned back against his chest.

“I thought about doing this so many times while you made breakfast,” Finn said softly.

Leo glanced at his face, nose brushing his cheek. His eyes were closed, eyelashes turned shadows in the warm sunlight pooling on the floor. He was completely relaxed into Leo, and Leo held him there. This was what Leo liked. Finn, knowing that they weren’t going anywhere, no matter what he did.

“Me too,” Leo said, kissing Finn’s jaw. Finn smiled, and turned his head into the kiss.

“Leo,” Finn said.

“Yeah?”

“I think we should ask him.”

Leo only had the chance to smile and kiss Finn again, deeper, before there was a weight falling against both of them, Logan’s dark head of hair burrowing against Leo’s chest. Leo laughed and stumbled, just a little.

“You gain ten pounds when you’re sleepy, I swear.”

Logan just hummed. Leo and Finn looked at each other over his head, and then Finn sandwiched Logan in from the other side.

“Hey, Lo,” he whispered.

“Quoi,” Logan mumbled sleepily, his eyes closed and cheek against Leo’s t-shirt.

Finn smiled at Leo, and Leo ducked down.

“Will you move in with us?” Leo whispered.

Logan looked up so fast he butted Finn in the nose with the back of his head.

“Fuck me,” Finn startled back and Logan swore, turning in their arms and pressing his hands to Finn’s rough cheeks.

“Harz,” Logan began, and then Finn realized that both him and Leo were laughing too hard to speak.

“Ouch.”

Logan sagged against him, gasping for breath—

And then Finn realized he was half crying. And nodding. And nodding and nodding.

Finn abandoned his aching nose and looked at Leo, whose expression had softened. Logan’s breathing stuttered and he gasped out a laugh, wiping his face.

“Fuck, I just woke up.”

“Is that a yes?” Finn laughed. “Head butt me then burst into tears, I guess that’s a pretty regular morning for us all.”

Leo kissed Logan’s neck softly. “Say yes.”

“Get out of Dumo’s basement,” Finn said.

Logan punched him in the chest, making him groan, and the pulled him back in, leaning into Leo’s arms.

“Yes,” Logan said. “Yes.”

Over coffee, Finn held his phone out to Leo.

“Slutty Batman.”

Leo blinked at the photo. “Holy fuck.”

#coast to coast #lumosinlove #sweater weather #sweater weather spin off #coast to coast lumosinlove #lumosinlove coast to coast #o'knutzy #Logan tremblay #Leo knut #finn o'hara #lumosinlove ocs #lumosinlove oc #finn x logan x leo

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iknowyouthinkimbulletproof · 4 years ago

Text

The Scar- Calum Hood

A/N: another 5sos fic! Calum hood x y/n. Y/n’s gender is female for this fic, it just made it easier to write, my apologies to anyone it might upset, but you can always request. Feel free to correct any mistakes! there will be a part two!

WARNINGS: this fic does contain multiple mentions of an abusive family, read at your own risk.

Not my gif!

plot: y/n and Calum meet for the first time!

2430 words

When y/n was still a child she had always dreamed of becoming a celebrity, like every other kid. unlike the other children though, it seemed impossible to her. To y/n, she sounded horrible, not to mention the looks. y/n had always thought this way because there was never one person to tell her otherwise. It's not like anyone knew what she was struggling with to be fair. Years of practice and motivation from her parents, the only time they encouraged y/n, lead to y/n being the perfect actor in front of others. No one would notice the damage done to y/n because the walls built around her took a team of three to build and would most likely take an even bigger team to deconstruct. Or at least that's what she thought. Apparently all y/n needed was a wrecking ball.

Day after day y/n would wake early to sit in front of her mirror with a brush. She normally wasn’t the type to hate anything, other than her parents, because nothing could compare to the years of trauma her parents had stocked her up on. So when y/n said she hated her foundation brushes, she meant it.

Makeup used to be one of her favorite things, she used it as a pastime. When she was a young teen, she spent most of her time in her room trying as many looks as possible. It wasn’t like her to believe that you could only have one aesthetic, she would change her look up as many times as she wanted. Going from “emo” looks one day to “kawaii” looks the next. It only made sense that she would do the same with her makeup as well. Her parents didn’t seem to mind the looks. Whatever would cover up the bruises they gifted her seemed to be helping them in some twisted way. One day it all fell apart though. Everything her parents had built was destroyed.

The process left y/n with a humongous scar on her face. The scar started right above her right eyebrow. If it had ended below the eyebrow, it would have just seemed like she wanted an eyebrow slit, she might have even been able to cover it easily with a brow pencil. If it had ended there, but it didn’t. It ended right above her jaw bone. It wasn’t straight either. Most scars can go away with time, but hers was too deep. It would never go away. It showed her and the world her past. She hated it.

So, as much as she hated the foundation brushes she used every morning, she continued to use them. That hideous scar needed to be covered up. Especially with all the attention she was getting. Once news came out that two well liked members of y/n’s small hometown abused their child, people were furious. Many tried helping y/n. One of the teachers at school had convinced her to try out for the drama club. She received the leading role in Annie for the school’s play. News spread fast in the town and soon people had begun to call colleges and agencies to come watch her performance, all of which y/n had no clue they were doing. One specific agency had agreed to work with her for free until she got off the ground. She almost rejected the opportunity. That was until her foster mother had informed her that her parents weren’t going to spend as much time in jail as they had hoped. Taking the opportunity had forced y/n to continue high school in Los Angeles. She was also set up with a new foster home. Throughout all of this, the scar was hidden. She didn’t want her chance to leave to be taken away.

Years later and no one she surrounded herself with knew of her past, or even seen her scar. Not even the makeup artists she’s worked with. She always showed up a foundation on and since it was a perfect match to her color, the makeup artists let it slide and just continued to transform her into her characters.

y/n had in fact gotten off the ground, it was now a daily thing for her to be recognized. She even met some celebrities she grew up with.

There was one day though, soon after her 23rd birthday, that y/n had not put on foundation. She felt that she wouldn’t be recognizable without it, so she wanted to try it. She had woken up later than usual then dressed herself in shorts and a tee. She went on a run and low and behold, no one recognized her. She ended up at her usual cafe. Just like every morning, she walked up the cashier and ordered her usual. The cashier, Linda, a nice old lady, who had worked there every morning tried not to stare. It was a weird experience for both of them. Linda could have sworn that y/n looked familiar, but she shrugged it off. y/n was holding back an expression of surprise, she thought that out of everyone Linda would have noticed her. Once she received her coffee, she went to leave. That is when she ran into her wrecking ball, not that she knew it. y/n had spilt her coffee all over the strange man she knew as Calum. She didn’t know much about Calum, she only knew his name from the few times she had heard his name being called for his coffee. She also knew that Cal was well aware of who she was, with makeup that is.

“Im so sorry!” y/n exclaimed. She might’ve still been in shock from the events that had happened so far into the day, but there was no way she could have missed the look she received from the man. It wasn’t one of disgust, but more of one of surprise. The look he had however, didn’t match hers. He wasn’t in surprise from the coffee he had spilt on him, but rather the girl in front of him.

“It’s fine really.” Calum stated as kindly as possible. There was no way he could ever even think of being rude to a lady so beautiful.

“It’s really not, I can pay for the shirt and for whatever you were gonna order.” she offers in a hurried tone even if she wasn’t in a rush. This is because she thought he was trying not to give her pity.

“No need, I actually feel as if I should buy you another one-” he offers, “- it was my fault anyways, i'm so clumsy i’ve been in this situation before.” he lied. y/n was well aware of the lie. Most of the time she was here before him and left after him, she had not seen it happen. An argument be that he’s done it before she moved into the neighborhood, but that also wasn’t true because y/n had witnessed him and Roy struggling to carry a couch into their home while on her run. She had actually had a conversation with Roy and she probably could have become good friends with him if she had tried.

“It's fine really” the words coming out of her mouth this time. Before they could interact anymore though, Linda had appeared to usher them both out of the way to clean the mess that was made. She had begun to lecture Calum, one of her favorite clients, on making a mess when y/n slipped out of the Cafe. she stuck her head back in though to apologize to one last time to both of them before running off.

She had made it home and took a shower when there was a knock at the door. Realizing that her scar was uncovered, she tried to cower.

“Y/n, it’s Roy! I...um brought cookies to celebrate your new movie! Oh and a friend.” That was the last thing she had expected to hear through her door. She knew the friend had to be Calum, she also knew she would have to explain herself to the men. Finally getting the courage, she opened the door. Before you could say anything Calum had begun to talk.

“Hey, it’s you again. What are you doing here?” he asked. Suddenly feeling shy y/n lowered her head.

“Are you ok?” Calum pressed. Looking up again she can see both the boys now wearing concerned faces.

“Y/n?” Roy questioned. Gulping, y/n decided to just rip the bandage off.

“Yep, that's me. Nice to see you Roy.” slightly shaking she opens the door wider as if to invite them in. Roy understood what she meant and walked in, his expression now gone and replaced with his original smile, Calum on the other hand still wore his as he followed his friend in. She led the men into her living room.

“Sorry for the mess.” she states. Calum and Roy looked around to see what she was talking about. Cal’s brows frowning more. There was no mess. To them anyways, to y/n her only thought was that her parents would murder her for having friends over without vacuuming and tidying every corner of the house. They sat down and y/n left to go get them drinks. While in the kitchen she could hear them whispering about her. Wiping any look of sadness from her face, she picked up the drinks and headed back into the living room. Handing them their drinks, she places coasters onto the table for them. They have a light conversation, them being Roy and y/n. Cal was too busy staring at her. He was confused, how could he have not realized. How come he didn’t know that the beauty of both women was actually the beauty of one. Finally giving into the stares y/n sighs.

“I know you’re probably confused about the...um you know-” she says, gesturing to her face, “i just didn’t want anyone to find out about it yet. There’s not really any good memories that came with it. You understand right?”

“Of course!” Roy claims, nodding his head then nudging his friend, who also nodded but not nearly as harsh as Roy had done.

“We won’t say anything if that's what you’re asking” Calum states, he could see that them agreeing with her hadn’t reassured her enough. She smiles gently at him as Roy agrees again. The conversation had now been a lot more free. All three of them were involved now. The conversation drifted to her movie and their music at points. y/n felt bad as she had genuinely gotten a liking to them, Calum in particular. She wanted to talk to them again, but her past was coming to haunt her, she couldn’t. The cookies were amazing, store bought, but amazing. They trio all slowly coming quiet, they had spent hours together chatting. It was now 4 in the afternoon. It seemed as neither man wanted to leave. It had been a while since they had made a new friend. Calum excused himself to the bathroom, leaving y/n and Roy. she tried her best to hint that it may be time for them to leave without seeming rude. Roy helped her bring the cups and trash into the kitchen. He watched as she cleaned each cup multiple times. To him it must have seemed as if she were nervous because she was being watched. To her though, each mug needed to be perfectly spotless or something bad would happen. It was rooted into her mind. If you dug deep enough into it, you would see y/n’s memories of being yelled at and having dishes and pots thrown at her for not having the house perfectly cleaned. Calum, finally out of the bathroom, joined Roy. together they watched the woman dry her hands before turning towards them. Before she could get a word out, Roy suggested that they should get going. Cal’s eyes couldn’t have missed her smile quickly dropping before resuming back to its original place. y/n nods before leading the kind men back to her front door. Roy leaning slightly to give her a hug and saying a quick bye, she responded as she knew how.

“Goodbye.” It was a simple statement really, but she was taught to never try to stay in touch with people outside of necessity. Though she did give him another kind smile, one that shows her teeth in just the slightest way. Now facing Cal who, unlike his friend, was staring at the floor. Roy, waiting for him at the gate, tries his hardest not to watch their interaction. From his point of view, he can see them talking before y/n goes completely still. y/n was in shock, she had never been in this situation before. She didn’t know how to respond. Cal had asked for her number. She didn’t have anyone who wasn’t work related on her phone, should she let herself add a contact for Cal? She didn’t know the answer, she stayed still, evening out her breathing while she felt two different sets of eyes on her. Still as stiff as humanly possible, she smiles and hands her, now open, phone to Calum. He grins so softly that y/n missed it, he handed her his unlocked phone as well. He creates a contact in her phone with all his information before snapping a quick photo of himself. He listed himself as “cute neighbor”, which is quite bold seeing as he had no idea if y/n liked him, and pressed save. On Calum’s phone, y’n had simply only typed her phone number and listed herself as “y/n”. Before she could press save, Calum handed her phone back to her, she looked at the contact and her lips lifted. She turned off her phone and put it in her pocket. She looked back to Calum’s phone and changed her name to “scar girl” before saving the contact and passing the phone back to him. Unfortunately for her, Calum didn’t look at the contact and just shut off the phone. Which might have been better if she thought about it. She didn’t want to see Calum’s reaction to the name, she just hoped it was positive. As they looked into each others eyes, a blush formed onto their cheeks. y/n whispered a silent goodbye before walking back into her home and softly closing the door.

#calum hood x y/n #calum x reader #calum hood #5sos imagine #fic #imagines #lots of love #-lizza

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gothpanda · 4 years ago

Text

A Little Bit of Attitude Ch. 35: I Love Him

WORD COUNT: 7.7k

A/N: Hey! I’m not dead! I just have shitty mental health! But I’m good!

WARNINGS: drugs, OD, death(kinda), angst

TAGS: @madamsixx @emariehorror @nosebleedblitz

Previous/Next

Read on Ao3

October 13th, 1987

Los Angeles, California

Home. The only place Sammi wanted to be was home with her parents. It was the perfect time to drive 7 hours with no Motley Crue anywhere close to Los Angeles. While this seemed essential to Sammi to come down, Mr. & Mrs. Bass were heavily confused by the visit. Of course, they loved having their youngest daughter back in the same city, but when they knew ahead of time. Sammi always planned her visits for the weekend after a busy school week, not a random Tuesday. As parents, Mr. & Mrs. Bass kept their questions to zero with happiness in the air to help combat Sammi's melancholic demeanor. A perfect way to help had ice cream for dessert after dinner. Sitting together at the breakfast table, Mrs. Bass placed a bowl of rocky road ice cream in front of Sammi, knowing it was her favorite. Sammi smiled happily for a second to her mother, remaining silent as she ate. Mr. Bass took this as his way to attempt to break through his daughter's walls.

"I talked to Tommy the other day," said Mr. Bass, glancing over to Sammi as he ate a spoonful of cookies & cream ice cream. "Have you gotten a chance to speak to him, Sunny?"

"Nope," bluntly said Sammi, looking down at her ice cream.

Mr. and Mrs. Bass only exchanged looks with each other. "Well what did Tommy get to tell you, David?" asked Mrs. Bass.

"Things are starting to feel overwhelming for him and the boys. Tommy mostly wanted to speak about home and how everyone's been," said Mr. Bass. "He said he missed us and the girls,"

"I hope he doesn't stress himself out too much. Tommy does push the limits with everything especially when Nikki's by his side," said Mrs. Bass. Sammi let out a dry chuckle, making her parents turn their gaze towards her. Sammi glanced up but only remained silent once again when Mr. and Mrs. Bass stared. "Is everything alright, Lovebug?"

"Yeah, I'm good," lied Sammi.

"Is everything alright between you and guys?" asked Mr. Bass, leaning forward onto the table. Sammi only shrugged her shoulders.

"Did Tommy and you get into an argument recently?" asked Mrs. Bass.

"No, we didn't"

"Well then how are you with the boys?" asked Mrs. Bass again.

"Are you alright with Nikki, Sammi?" asked Mr. Bass. Sammi took a deep breath, dropping her spoon into her half-empty bowl. She leaned back against the wooden chair, pushing any fallen hair out of her hair.

"No. I'm not alright with Nikki. I haven't been for a while," finally admitted Sammi.

"Well, what happened? You had told me Nikki wanted to work out, even invited you out to a show on your birthday," asked Mr. Bass.

Sammi hugged herself almost tight, not wanting to look her parents in the eye. "He fell off the wagon… turned back to drugs. I found out when I saw him and said I didn't want anything to do with him," said Sammi. Mr. and Mrs. Bass couldn't help but appear shocked for Sammi's reason, staying silent. Sammi didn't add anything else, only continued to finish her ice cream.

"Can you tell what drugs he's back on?" asked Mrs. Bass.

"I don't want to say it out loud. Just know it's too hard for me to let it go," said Sammi.

"Well, I hope Nikki learns from his actions. He's too smart of a man to throw everything away just for a fix," said Mr. Bass, studying Sammi's facial expressions.

"I doubt that…" mumbled Sammi, standing up to drop her bowl into the sink, leaving the kitchen to head upstairs for the night. Mr. Bass held Mrs. Bass's hand, trying his best to think of a solution to Sammi's sadness.

"You really do like Nikki, huh?" asked Mrs. Bass.

Mr. Bass sighed out. "Yeah, I do. He's a good kid and I know how much Sammi cares about him. I mean it when I say I hope he learns from all of this and gets help,"

"But he hurt our daughter, David," pointed out Mrs. Bass.

"Because he's sick, Vi. When I say I know, I just know. I know he cares about our daughter, just like our daughter cares about him," said Mr. Bass, standing up and kissing his wife on her forehead.

December 13th, 1987

The air was crispy and chilly for winter being so close, even if it was rare for an authentic cold in Los Angeles. Even with the chilly air, it didn't stop Sammi from lighting a cigarette and taking in tobacco into her system. She blew smoke into the air and leaned against the balcony of Emm and Sabrina's apartment. Sammi listened to the sirens go across the city, staring out into the lights. She then heard the sliding door open behind her, seeing Emma appear over her shoulder.

"You're not cold?" asked Emma, leaning against the railing next to Sammi.

Sammi took another drag before answering. "No, I'm pretty good even with this thin long sleeve," said Sammi as she held her pack of smokes between her and Emma. "Want one?"

"Nah I'm trying to quiet," sighed Emma, Sammi raising a brow. "My coach saw my pack in my duffle, gave me a lecture. So now I'm trying to quit," said Emma.

Sammi chuckled with a smirk. "Better than me. I think I'm addicted to these at this point," said Sammi, blowing another puff of smoke.

"Wouldn't doubt it with you being around Nikki so much," said Emma without thinking until realizing. "I'm sorry I didn't-" said Emma with wide eyes.

"It's fine," uttered Sammi, looking straight ahead, biting her lip. The two girls stayed in silence, sirens continuing to make noise all around. Emma couldn't handle it anymore.

"The boy's have been back for a while," said Emma. Sammi nodded. "They're gonna go to Tokyo soon," Sammi stayed quiet. "Have you heard anything from Tommy?" Sammi shook her head. "Have you heard anything about Nikki?" asked Emma, turning to see Sammi's expressions.

Sammi only kept a gaze ahead of her, taking another drag of her tiny cigarette. "When I said I was done with him, I meant it, Emma. I don't want to hear anything about him or from," said Sammi, smashing the bud against the black iron and flicking it down to the ground.

"It's his birthday," Sammi stayed silent, looking down at the ground, two floors down. "I'm on your side in all of this. And you know if you need to talk it out some more, I'm right here," said Emma, squeezing Sammi's shoulder as she walked back inside. All Sammi could do was stay outside and smoke another cigarette. She also could only play with the black stone around her neck.

December 23rd, 1987

Covina, California

3:30 am

The television light danced around the dark living room, the sound almost at a mute. On both of the sofas, Sammi and Athena dozed off with blankets and pillows cuddling them. They wanted a night that reminded them of their teen years, watching movies with popcorn late into the night. The girls could've easily slept into the bright and early morning until a loud ring echoed in the house. Athena rustled on her sofa, groaning from the continued ringing of the doorbell, rubbing away the sleep from her eyes. She looked across to Sammi, seeing her still fast asleep. Athena sighed out as they lazily stood up from the sofa, walking over to the front door. She looked through the peephole, confused to see Tommy visibly worried outside. Athena opened the door, almost tumbled down as Tommy rushed into the house, gripping onto the wall for balance.

"What the hell, Tommy?" whispered Athena, scrunching her eyebrows together into deep 11's. She finally saw a good look at her brother's face, noting his glossy red eyes. "Woah. Are you okay?" asked Athena, locking the front door.

Tommy shook his head. "Where's Sammi? I- I need to talk to her," uttered Tommy, his voice sounding raspy.

"Um… she's asleep in the living room over here," said Athena, walking a few feet to the doorway of their parents' living room. Athena halted in her steps when seeing two empty sofas and no one in the living room. Athena looked to Tommy, who was still on edge and scanned around the hallway. The sound of feet coming down almost made the brother and sister jump, seeing their parents come down the stairs in robes.

"What's going on?" asked Mrs. Bass, having the same face as Athena. "Sweetie, what's wrong?" Mrs. Bass asked Tommy, walking over and cradling his face in her hands.

"Why did you ring the doorbell so many times, Tommy?" asked Mr. Bass, fixing his glasses from slipping off his face.

"I-I-I need to talk to Sammi. It's urgent. I called Emma and Sabrina's and they said she was here," stuttered Tommy, eye darting all over the place.

"What's everyone talking about?" said Sammi, walking down the hall with a glass of water in her hands. She frowned at everyone around her, confused by the scared and worried faces, especially Tommy's. "Dude, have you been crying?" asked Sammi, standing right in front of her brother. Tommy only looked down at her with a painful sadness, biting his lip. "What's wrong?" Sammi asked again with a stern voice.

"Nikki's dead." croaked Tommy, swallowing the knot in his throat.

The room stood utterly still. Athena's eyes grew wide in a panic, turning to see Mr. and Mrs. Bass's mouths ajar from shock. Sammi didn't move an inch, just gripping tighter onto her glass of water. Tommy stepped an inch to hug Sammi, but this only made her take a step back. Everyone stared at Sammi, waiting for the smallest amount of something of a reaction.

Sammi shook her head. "It isn't true. Someone's lying. They have to be," said Sammi, feeling her heartbeat out of her chest and palms sweat. "Nikki isn't dead,"

"Sam, Slash called me. Slash's been calling everyone," said Tommy with a frown.

"Well, then he's lying! Slash and Nikki play shitty jokes on everyone! You know that!" yelled Sammi.

"He overdosed!"

"No!"

'Love-"

"No, mama!" said Sammi, pushing her mother's arm away from her. "He said he was going to get clean! Nikki wanted to get clean!" yelled out Sammi again, still managing to keep a tight grip on the glass. "He can't be dead!" cracked Sammi's voice, eyes turning into a sad pink.

"I'm tired of this," uttered Athena, walking over to the coffee table in the living room. Everyone followed her, gathering in the middle of the room. She swiftly grabbed the clicker, changing the channel from a MASH rerun to MTV.

Blasted right on the new television screen was a video of Nikki playing at their last American show. "It's a sad night in the rock n' roll scene as Nikki Sixx, bassist for the successful band Motley Crue, has died today in Hollywood due to a heroin overdose. He was only 29 years old," said the MTV news anchor. An image of Nikki appeared on screen, showing 1958-1987. This is what cracked Sammi finally.

Everything felt as if it was moving in slow motion. The glass in Sammi's hand finally fell free, smashing into a million pieces on the hardwood floor, water spilling everywhere. The sound of it breaking didn't register into Sammi's ears, but it didn't matter. Sammi felt numb all around her body as if she was weak. Soon when Sammi felt her knees hit the floor, it was back to 'normal.'

"No!" howled Sammi, tears running down her face. "No! No! No!" Sammi screamed, hunching forward and hiding in the palms of her hands. The air in Sammi's lungs felt almost gone, as if someone punched her in the gut because it was. Hearing the facts for herself of Nikki dying was a punch in the gut that Nikki caused her. Yet sadness was the only thing Sammi felt.

As Sammi gasped for air, Athena and Mrs. Bass lifted her off the ground to lay on the sofa. Sammi rested her head on Mrs. Bass's lap, continuing to cry. Mrs. Bass ran her fingers through Sammi's hair, frowning at her daughter's misfortune. Athena kneeled on the floor, soothing Sammi with soft rubs on her back. Athena soon felt her own tears begin to form, regarding the most miniature form of sadness than Sammi. It's strange what death can lead others to think at the moment. For this moment, Athena felt horrible for her history with Nikki. Never giving him a chance when she knew Nikki made Sammi happy. Never saying kind things about him to Sammi. And now never getting to say sorry. Athena felt even worse seeing Sammi break down for her person.

"Sammi, I'm so sorry," uttered Athena.

"I should've helped him. I should've stayed," outcried Sammi, tears falling down harder as she gasped.

"Don't say that. This isn't your fault," reassured Athena. "Nikki knew how much you cared about him,"

Athena turned to see Tommy sitting by their father, rubbing away the tears from his eyes. "Do you… do you know how Vince and Mick are, Tommy?"

Tommy shook his head. "I don't want to talk to them right now. I can't," mumbled Tommy. "It's late anyway,"

"Tommy's right. I think it's best we take Sammi up to bed," said Mr. Bass, squeezing Tommy's shoulder before standing up and walking over to his daughters. Mrs. Bass wiped away the dry cheeks on Sammi's face before slowly sitting her up. "Sammi. Sammi, come on, we have to take you to bed," Mr. Bass said softly.

Sammi only shook her head and cried harder, unable to have the strength to move. Mr. Bass and Athena gently laid hands on Sammi's arms and shoulders, bringing on her feet. Before they could help guide Sammi, Tommy moved past Athena and Mr. Bass as he decided to be the protective older brother he always was. He wrapped Sammi's arm around his neck, lifting her petite figure in his arms bridal style. In almost complete silence, except for Sammi's soft whimpers, Tommy carried Sammi up to her childhood bedroom. The rest of the family followed behind.

"He wanted to get better," wept Sammi into Tommy's chest.

"I know he did, Sammi," consoled Tommy. To his luck, Sammi's bedroom door was ajar, only needing the push on his foot to open it wide to walk right in. Tommy gently laid Sammi down on the bed, lifting the blankets to cover her body. Mr. and Mrs. Bass stayed in the door frame while Athena stood right next to Tommy. Athena delicately hopped over Sammi, squeezing herself in the rest of the bed space. She wrapped her arms behind Sammi for a hug, knowing her sister shouldn't be alone. Mrs. Bass came into the room for a quick moment, kissing on her forehead, then retreated back to Mr. Bass, going to their rooms. Tommy and Athena gave a knowing look to each other, nodding as if they could communicate telepathically. Tommy left the room without another word. The cry had stopped for Sammi, but now it was only numbness, physically able to feel her heartbreak. Sammi closed her eyes, praying for something to end this.

"You promise everything will be good from now on?"

Nikki smiles at Sammi, brushing away her dark locks from her face. "I promise. I meant it when I said I missed you and don't want to lose this,"

Sammi cuddled up to Nikki's chest, almost hugging him. "I believe you,"

6:00 am

In a stir, Sammi snapped open her eyes, dismayed to find herself in her childhood bedroom. It took a couple seconds before Sammi could remember what had happened only 3 hours ago. Sammi peeked over her shoulder to see Athena lightly snoring, lying straight on her back. She quietly snuck out of bed, knowing she wouldn't be able to fall back asleep. The sun was barely making its way up into the sky for the new day. This new day wasn't what Sammi wanted, but she had to accept and begin to grieve, even if she didn't want to.

Sammi quietly went downstairs, seeing Tommy asleep on one of the sofas, continuing her walking down the hall. Sammi stopped when seeing the wall phone in front of her. It was a habit she grew to have, dialing Nikki only to hang up soon after. It was tempting at this moment to do it. Grieving has different stages, right?

Like clockwork, Sammi grabbed the phone with a shaky hand, pressing Nikki's home phone number from memory. Sammi leaned her head against the wall, closing her eyes as the tone began dialing, just waiting for his voicemail. Expect this time it wasn't the original.

"Hey it's Nikki I'm not home cause I'm dead…" said Nikki with a rough voice that has gone through the wringer. The beep of the answering machine made Sammi come back to earth. She gasped and slammed the phone shut, feeling her hands begin to shake. Sammi hastily walked back to the living room, dropping herself next to Tommy.

"T-Tommy. Tommy, wake up," shakily uttered Sammi, tapping Tommy's shoulder.

Tommy groaned, turning on his side to give his back. "What," annoyed Tommy said.

"It's Nikki. He-"

"Is dead. We already went through this, Sammi. I'm sorry for your loss," groaned Tommy.

"Tommy, he isn't dead," said Sammi. Tommy sat up in a flash, getting a dizzy spell from the quick motion.

"What are you talking about?"

Sammi didn't say another word, jumping on her feet as she tugged Tommy onto his. She pulled him all the way to the wall phone, passing it to him as she punched the buttons. Tommy's face went from confused to shock, eyes widening when hearing Nikki's answering machine message. In almost a freight, Tommy slammed the phone back on the receiver.

"I'm gonna kill him," said Tommy, nostrils flaring. "I'm gonna kill for making us worry like this,"

"Tommy as much as I would agree on any other given day, I want Nikki alive. We need to go check up on him," said Sammi.

"What if he doesn't want to see us? Why should we after he scared us?" asked Tommy. In a rash decision, Sammi punched Tommy in the shoulder with all her strength. "Ow! The hell was that for?"

"Your best friend, who you see as a brother, and my ex-boyfriend, who I still have feelings for, died last night and is alive again. You really don't want to see him after that?" asked Sammi, trying not to raise her voice. Tommy huffed, looking back and forth from Sammi to the floor, finally nodding in agreement. "Great. Let's tell Athena before we split," said Sammi, running up the stairs, Tommy in tow.

Athena was still fast asleep in Sammi's bed, moving over right into the middle. Sammi and Tommy shook her gently, repeating her name until hearing her groggy voice.

Athena opened her eyes, scrunching her face when seeing Sammi and Tommy standing over her. "Why are you two up so early?"

"I just called Nikki's house. He's alive, Athena," said Sammi.

"Oh thank god," sighed Athena, hands falling on her face. "Did you talk to him?"

"No, he just left a shitty answering message. Tom and I are going to go check up on him," said Sammi.

"Wait, I'm coming too!" said Athena, ripping the covers off her and jumping off the bed. "Someone needs to be stable between the two of you,"

"Okay great. Now change and let's get the hell out of here before mama and dad wake up," said Tommy, leaving the bedroom to head downstairs.

"I'll leave a note. Let's just hurry," said Sammi grabbing a random piece of paper and pen.

7:45 am

The ride was a quiet one driving through the California valley. Tommy didn't feel the need to race; wanting to be at ease, they grew closer to Nikki's house. It had seemed no one else got the news of Nikki being alive, flowers already beginning to gather outside his gate. Sammi swallowed hard at the thought, trying to prepare herself for what was to come. Tommy lowered the window, staring at the gate code box.

"Do you know his gate code?" asked Tommy to Sammi.

"Uh yeah it's 0882," answered Sammi, Tommy raising a brow. "Don't make fun of him, it's when we first met,"

"Damn Nikki being a softy was not what I imagined," teased Athena, Tommy giggling as he punched in the code. Nothing. Tommy looked back at Sammi.

"You sure it's that?" asked Tommy.

"Yeah! He never changed his code when he got this place," said Sammi, unbuckling her seatbelt and stepping out of the car. She tried the code herself, only to get nothing again, making her groan in annoyance. "Why would he change it?"

"Maybe to keep Veronica out," suggested Tommy, putting the car in park and getting out along with Athena. "I don't think we can climb this," Tommy pointed out. Nikki's gate was close to 7 feet tall of steel with surrounding brick walls in the front.

"Nope, but I do know where we can climb," said Sammi, walking to a nearby corner. Athena and Tommy glanced at each other with scrunched eyebrows, following Sammi around the corner to more brick walls only with more trees. Sammi stood in what appeared to be the end of Nikki's property.

"What are you doing? Again, I don't think we can climb that," asked Tommy, pointing to the wall.

"If you give me a lift, I'll prove how wrong you are," said Sammi with a slight smirk. This shut Tommy up, even with confusion and questions still on his mind. Nevertheless, he listened to Sammi and lifted her up as safely as he could. Sammi extended one foot against the wall, pushing herself up to graze the ledge.

"Sammi!" both Athena and Tommy said.

"Shut up! Tommy, lift me up higher," ordered Sammi. Tommy didn't argue, extending his arms high as he held Sammi's right leg. This gave his sister the chance to climb and sit on the ledge. "See! I proved you wrong!" exclaimed Sammi with a smile. "Now lift Athena and I'll pull her up!"

It didn't take long for Athena to be sitting next to Sammi, looking on the other side. "Oh hey there's a little hill on this corner, How did you remember about this?"

"Because this isn't the first I've had to jump the wall thanks to Nikki," joked Sammi, as the sisters lifted Tommy up by his arms to join them.

"You've had to sneak into Nikki's house before?" asked Tommy.

"His lovely ass forgot his keys at a party making us do this drunk," said Sammi, jumping off the ledge, landing on the grass perfectly. After the siblings all joined together, they walked through the backyard and straight to the sliding door. "Thank god," whispered Sammi as she found it unlocked, quietly sliding it.

The house was dark and cold as if no one cared to live in it. Dishes and stains piled up in the kitchen. It almost reminded Tommy of the Motley House, just waiting for the sight of a cockroach or rat to crawl by them.

"I don't hear anything," said Athena as the siblings walked to the front of the house.

"Maybe he's catching up on a few zzz's after his fiasco," said Tommy, taking one step to the stairs. After trying not to for the entire time, Sammi looked up the staircase as she bit her nails, nerves, and fear all in one. "What are you guys waiting for? Let's go see him," said Tommy, taking a few more steps. Athena held Sammi's hand for reassurance, walking up the gothic flight of stairs, Tommy leading.

The second floor wasn't as of a mess as the downstairs, but doors to other rooms were all open. Sammi could feel her heart pound out of her chest again once walking into Nikki's room. It was more of a mess from the last time Sammi spent the night, clothes and empty alcohol bottles thrown around. With no sight of Nikki, Sammi glanced over to the closed closet doors, swallowing away the lump in her throat. Sammi let go of Athena's hand, stepping closer to the closet, opening it with a shaky hand. A loud gasp turned Tommy's head.

"Oh my god," gasped Sammi, stumbling back into Tommy's chest, covering her mouth as she almost sobbed. Athena and Tommy could only stare with wide eyes, finding Nikki in an unfortunate way. In the middle of the closet sat Nikki, almost naked with only his underwear on, passed out. Beside him, his special wooden box of everything and a bloody arm with a needle lodged into a vein. Nikki looked scary to Sammi, his body completely pale and covered in sweat. "He cannot be alive after that!" shouted Sammi. Athena pulled her into an embrace, covering her eyes.

Tommy carefully stepped inside, kneeling beside Nikki. He took one deep breath before beginning to shake him awake. "Nikki," uttered Tommy. Nothing. Tommy looked back to see a scared Sammi, settling into his nerves. "Nikki!" shouted Tommy, shaking Nikki viciously. Finally.

Almost jumping out of his skin, Nikki shut his eyes up and let out a gasp. His blurred vision soon focused, looking around to find the siblings watching over him. Scared. Nikki's eyes locked with Sammi's, seeing the fear he caused. This made him want to just run away and be small, but he couldn't do that. Tommy didn't need to ask Nikki and carefully took out the needle of heroin.

"It's going to be alright, Nik. We got you," whispered Tommy. He tossed the dirty needle in Nikki's box. "Athena, come help me," Tommy told his sister, swinging Nikki's arm around his neck. Athena rushed over, kneeling by Nikki and grabbing him to support his weight. "Okay. One, two, three. Lift," said Tommy. The brother and sister lifted Nikki's weak body off the floor, trying not to stumble over their feet. Sammi could only watch, tears welling up as Athena and Tommy took Nikki to his bathroom. She still followed slowly, seeing how exhausted Nikki was. Tommy sighed out as he sat Nikki on the bathtub's edge, looking at Athena and Sammi. Nikki only stayed silent, staring down at the floor.

"Get out," said Sammi; Athena and Tommy whipped their heads to her. "Nikki needs a bath. I'll do it,"

"But-"

"Athena, it's fine. Tommy, can you please find some clean clothes for Nikki, something comfortable?" asked Sammi. Tommy nodded, stepping out of the bathroom.

"I guess I can make some breakfast for us," said Athena.

"There isn't any food in the house," uttered Nikki, finally looking someone in the eye.

"Um fine then I can just pick up from breakfast somewhere," said Athena, beginning to make her way out of the bathroom but turned on her heels. "By the way, what's the gate code? We couldn't get it the first try,"

Nikki looked away from Athena. "It's Sammi's birthday…"

Athena nodded with a smile that wasn't for happiness. "Of course it is. I won't be long," said Athena, kissing Sammi on the cheek before closing the door behind her.

The room fell silent, neither Sammi nor Nikki looking at each other even as Sammi got close to run the bath. Sammi began looking for a towel and even soap to wash Nikki, opening every drawer in the master bathroom. She almost gave up until opening the bottom sink cabinet. Right in front was a never-opened bottle of fancy scented liquid soap Sammi bought a long time ago with the two towels she used as her own. Sammi only scoffed, grabbing the three items to keep next to her. Tommy knocked for a second and dropped Nikki's folded clothes on the counter.

Sammi felt the warm water, adding a bit of her soap to the bath, turning off the water. "Okay, get undressed," said Sammi, turning her back on Nikki.

Nikki looked up, staring at Sammi's back for a moment, the feeling of regret coming up. Slowly standing up, Nikki took off his boxers and carefully lowered himself in the bathtub. Nikki didn't need to tell Sammi he was ready, seeing her kneel down in a flash beside him. Sammi soaked the smaller towel in the soapy water, adding more as she began the washing. Silence still followed, which only made Nikki want to scream on the top of his lungs. Feeling the towel draw across his chest didn't give any happy effect. It just made Nikki angry at himself.

"I'm sorry," whispered Nikki. Sammi remained silent. Nikki only dropped his head against the granite, looking up at the ceiling. "I could've done this myself,"

"I don't trust you,"

Nikki huffed. "Fair enough. I don't blame you. I wouldn't trust me either,"

When Sammi reached Nikki's arm, she grazed the bloody wound carefully, causing her to finally break.

"Why?" asked Sammi, finally looking up at Nikki.

Nikki looked at Sammi with deep elevens between his brows. "Huh?"

"Why would you go back after dying?" whispered Sammi, a tear rolling down her face. "You died and you still wanted to shoot up again… why?"

Nikki sighed. "Because I'm an addict. I never thought it would get like this though. I mean it when I say I'm sorry,"

"Yeah where have I heard that before?" mumbled Sammi. "I thought you were gone. Doesn't that matter to you?"

"It does..."

Sammi didn't need to say anything else, moving on to wash Nikki's hair.

8:50 am

"Um thanks for the food, Athena," uttered Nikki with a mouth full of diner chocolate chip pancakes. Thanks to Tommy, the siblings and Nikki ate on the kitchen island in awkward silence in the now somewhat clean kitchen. Sammi didn't look at anyone but the plate of her as she sat beside Nikki.

"You're welcome, Nikki. It's the least I can do. Just from guessing, you seem to be enjoying your pancakes," said Athena with a small smile. Nikki only nodded as he continued to eat.

"So I don't know if this is a great time to ask but, what happened, Nik? And please tell us the truth," asked Tommy. Nikki swallowed his food and wiped his mouth with a napkin. He glanced over at Sammi before speaking.

"Well, I was with Slash at his and Duff's hotel room. It was just us and a couple of random guys. I was pretty out of it already from bar hopping, so I don't remember everything. Next thing I know my dealer is next to me and I ask him to help…" As Nikki paused, he caught the glaring anger from Sammi's eyes. He only looked away. "You get the idea. Then I pass out only to hit with two adrenaline shots by an EMT who happened to be a huge fan,"

"Well aren't you so lucky" mumbled Sammi.

"Sammi…" said Athena.

"What? I can't say anything?"

"Yeah but don't be mad at him," whispered Athena.

"It's okay Athena," said Nikki

"I'm not mad at Nikki, I'm just mad at this day," said Sammi, going back to her food, feeling Nikki keep a close eye on her.

"Tommy, you're going to have to tell everyone that Nikki is okay. I think the last thing anyone wants is flowers flooding the front gate," said Athena.

"You're right. I'll call Doc after this,"

"I think what we need to do after this is clean the house for drugs, especially Nik's room," said Sammi.

"I can help," said Nikki.

"No. You need to sleep. We can handle this," said Sammi, resting her hand on his. The simple act of touch tugged at Nikki's heartstrings. Nikki nodded. "Athena, let's get the guest room ready for Nik," said Sammi getting up from her seat.

"Yes, ma'am," said Athena, following her sister up the stairs. "Are you sure you want to clean up this place?"

Sammi didn't answer right away, only opened a closet door that she knew had all the linens and blankets organized. She led Athena to the closet guest room, opening the door to find it surprisingly clean. She stripped the bed of its sheets, handing Athena one side of the new ones.

"Do I want to, no. Do I think it's necessary, yes. Again, I'm mad at this day but we've got to do things for Nikki right now," said Sammi, fluffing one of the pillows. Athena remained silent, helping Sammi finish the bed. Nikki shuffled his way into the room in perfect timing, surprised to see a clean bed with Tommy right behind him.

"Wow, thanks," said Nikki, sitting at the foot of the bed. Tommy and Athena waited for their sister in the hallway. Sammi squeezed his shoulder, stepping back to the door. The amount of no talking between the two was rare. Nikki hated every second of it.

"If you need anything just yell for me, okay?" said Sammi, leaning against the doorframe, hands hidden in her back pockets. Nikki nodded, laying down in a bed the first time all day. Sammi quietly closed the door behind her with a yawn. "Gosh,

I'm sleepy,"

"You'll take a nap after this. Where should we start?" asked Tommy.

"Athena and I will look through up here, and you can take the downstairs. I'm sure most of it is in his room anyway," said Sammi.

"Perfect! Let's get this over with and maybe go to sleep!" said Athena, latching onto Sammi's shoulder as Tommy dashed downstairs to the next guestroom. All three of the siblings were just trying to mentally prepare themselves for even more to come.

"Jesus this is so gross," groaned Sammi throwing dirty needles covered in napkins onto a pile on the floor. Sammi was right, as most of the drugs Nikki consumed were either scattered in his room or in his closet. This didn't stop the girls from looking through every corner of Nikki's room or bathroom.

"Why does Nikki have so many girl clothes? There's bras, shirts, and freaking underwear," said Athena kneeling in front of the bottom drawer of the black dresser. Sammi walked over to Athena for a peek.

"Because it's all mine," said Sammi, kneeling beside Athena. Sammi smiled as she looked through the drawer, finding articles of clothing she thought were lost. "Damn I didn't think he'd keep all this crap. Hey, my first Motley shirt!" exclaimed Sammi, pulling out a cropped black t-shirt from her first tour with the boys.

Athena could see the smile on Sammi's face, the first one all day. "You two really care about each other,"

"I guess we do," uttered Sammi, folding the shirt back in the drawer.

Before Athena could say another word, Tommy walked with a trash bag in his hand. "I called Doc. Told him Nikki was okay," said Tommy picking up the filthy pile for the trash bag. He dropped it down in the corner, sitting on Nikki's bed with a huff. "The guys and he are going to come. We need to have a meeting. You two included,"

"Why us?" asked Athena.

"My sister for moral support," said Tommy pointing at Athena. "My sister and Nikki's whatever," Tommy said, pointing at Sammi. "I just need the both of you there,"

"Fine but I'm taking a nap," said Sammi, jumping on Nikki's bed.

"Ew Sam, you don't know if it's clean or not," said Athena, curling her lip.

"Out of every bed I've slept on, I like Nikki's. Now shut up and let me sleep,"

Tommy chuckled at Sammi with a shake of his head, guiding Athena out of the room. It was something Sammi deserved.

1:30 pm

"Okay, I'm glad we can all make it today after these rough past 12 hours," announced Doc, standing front and center of Nikki's sitting room. On one sofa sat the Bass siblings while Mick and Vince sat across from them, Nikki still asleep upstairs. The tension between everyone felt gross to Sammi almost, wishing for an ounce of happiness like always.

"I hope that the misfortune of last night comes as a wake-up call for all of you men," said Doc. Sammi rolled her eyes without hiding it. "Now we need to discuss the question, where do we go from here?"

"Simple," spoke Vince. "We kick Nikki out of the band,"

"What?!" everyone but Doc shouted in unison.

"You can't kick Nikki out of the band!" said Sammi.

"And why not? Clearly, he isn't stable enough to be playing in a band,"

"No one in the entire rock scene is stable enough to be playing in a band!" explained Sammi.

"You do realize Nikki is the reason you're in Motley Crue right?" asked Athena, narrowing her eye at him.

"It was actually your brother," said Vince with a smirk

"Because Nikki made a fucking band and wanted me as a drummer. We all have jobs because Nikki fucking made Motley Crue. He does everything!" said Tommy.

"Do you even know how to write a song?" asked Mick.

"Enough! This kind of fighting isn't going to solve anything," said Doc. "We need to come up with a plan to move forward,"

"I don't know why you're acting like you don't know anything?" said Athena, crossing her arms. "Rehab! Rehab should already be in your head!" Athena said with a sharp finger pointing at Doc. Doc was almost taken aback by this.

"You're right, Athena. Nikki needs rehab and maybe this time-"

"No, not just Nikki. All of the guys" said Athena, looking at the rest of the guys turn confused into anger. "You all need to go to rehab,"

"What the hell, Athena. I don't need rehab!" said Tommy, jumping up from the sofa.

"You don't? So you popping pills, drinking until you blackout almost every night, and only two steps behind Nikki is healthy?" asked Athena, standing up to Tommy.

"It's not that bad! We aren't as bad as Nikki!"

"I can quit drinking whenever I goddamn please," said Mick, fixing himself to stay comfortable.

"Mick, since Sammi and I have known you, you pretend to be drinking water when it's vodka. You told me you were drunk recording Girls," said Athena.

"This is bullshit. I already did the whole rehab drama once, I'm good,"

"Now that sounds like bullshit," whispered Sammi, looking down at the floor with her arms crossed.

Vince cocked his head at Sammi. "Is there anything you want to say, Sammi?"

Sammi sucked the front of her teether, looking directly at Vince. "Yes, there is. For someone who went to rehab by force you sure couldn't do anything, they told you to do the first time. You still do drugs and drink exactly like the rest, and you're the one that went to jail because of drinking!" exclaimed Sammi, jumping on her feet. This quickly silenced Vince. "And Tommy, you cannot say you don't need rehab when mama and dad have been worried about you for years . I'm surprised Heather hasn't told you anything about stopping the drinking," Tommy only looked away from his sisters. "Mick you're supposed to keep in shape and stay healthy. Drinking your liver away isn't going to do anything!"

"Sammi's right. You guys-"

"Do not get me started with you," said Sammi, turning on her heels to face Doc. Doc's eyes grew frightened. "You're their manager. You are supposed to be the one to help them when needed but you didn't. Instead, you kept Nikki on the road just so you can get a paycheck. And don't tell me it's not true when I worked at Elektra. You fucked up too,"

"I helped as much as I could! I didn't realize how bad the rest were because I was concerned for Nikki!" objected Doc.

"Says the man who said he needed to cancel Europe because he was scared of the guy's wellbeing!"

"Oh, Sammi shut up! If you cared enough about any of us, you wouldn't have ditched us to San Francisco," said Vince.

"So you're blaming me?!"

"Vince, that's so unfair to accuse Sammi of that," said Athena.

"Sammi moved for school. She's not our babysitter!" said Tommy.

"Just quit it, Vince you know you're wrong," said Mick.

"No, I'm not! She only gives a shit about Nikki and Nikki alone. Why would she even be here right now?"

"Maybe because she-"

"Guys!" said Sammi, looking at the sitting-room door frame. Nikki decided to walk downstairs for the meeting due to the yelling, looking a little better than this morning. Nikki shuffled into the area, almost awkward at the feeling of everyone staring at him. "Is everything okay, Nikki?" asked Sammi.

Nikki nodded. "I just… I heard what you all were talking about and I agree with Athena. I think we should all go to rehab," uttered Nikki, pressing his lips together. Motley found this shocking, the three looking at Nikki as if he had a second head. Vince's anger at Sammi disappearing when seeing Nikki almost scared of everything.

Nikki walked closer to the sisters, giving them a smile that took the energy out of him. "Athena, Sammi, thank you for everything. I know you and I haven't always been great but I really appreciate it, Athena. You already know how I feel, Sammi," said Nikki, still keeping a distance.

"When's the earliest we can all check-in? It doesn't have to be here in California, we just need help," asked Nikki.

"I'll start calling today to check you guys in at the beginning of January," said Doc.

"No, we- I need to go sooner,"

"We should check-in before the new year. In case one of us chickens out," said Tommy, glaring at Vince.

"I'm on board, I know I just complained but if it helps the band, then it's worth it," said Mick.

"Alright then. I'll get on that right now," said Doc, walking out of the sitting room to find Nikki's phone. The sudden silence was unbearable to Motley. Mick followed Doc, wanting to help out in any way he could. Vince reaching for the pack in his jeans, heading out in the backyard for a smoke. Tommy sat down on the sofa, dropping his head against the back as he sighed out, Athena next to him. Nikki turned to Sammi, gently grasping her hand.

"I think you should start heading home," said Nikki, squeezing Sammi's hand.

Sammi scrunched her brows together. "What? No! Who's gonna stay here with you? I need to know you're safe,"

"And I appreciate that and everything but it's only gonna get uglier from here. Heroin withdrawals are no joke and I don't want you to see me go through that,"

"Nikki, I get it. Please I know how to help," begged Sammi.

Nikki shook his head, frowning. "I need to be away from you. I have to do this and be alone for god knows how long. We can't be like this anymore,"

Sammi winced at the words, staring up at Nikki in disbelief. It was now her turn to feel what it was like to be pushed away, and she hated it. Sammi let go of Nikki's hand, stepping away from him slowly.

"Alright. If that's what you need. I won't be here," said Sammi, swallowing away the lump in her throat. "Tommy, do you think someone can give you a ride home?" Tommy nodded. He passed the keys to Athena, remaining mute. Athena only gave Tommy a tight-lipped smile, then wrapped an arm around Sammi, escorting her away from Nikki. Nikki stared at Sammi until she disappeared out the front door, dropping himself next to Tommy. Tommy only wrapped an arm around Nikki's shoulders, bringing him into his side.

3:30 pm

Walking into their parents' home felt like a sigh of relief for the girls, wanting to collapse on a sofa. They were lucky to find their dad in the living room watching tv. Sammi fell beside her dad; Mr. Bass was still looking at the tv. Athena decided to give her sister some space and head up to her childhood bedroom until dinner.

"Where's mama?" asked Sammi.

"She went to pick up your wrapped presents from the store. Kept her mind busy from all of this,"

Sammi dryly chuckled. "Wish I could keep my mind busy from this day,"

"You and your siblings have been gone most of the day. I'm going to guess things went well with Nikki?" Sammi shrugged her shoulders, tears wilting up. Mr. Bass looked beside him to see Sammi's blotchy pink face and pouty lip on the cusp of crying. "Sweetheart, what's wrong,"

"I'm so tired from all of this," said Sammi, breaking down and crying on her father's shoulder. It wasn't like crying from last time, but just soft tears. "I was so tired of worrying about Nikki. And now when I want to be with him, he doesn't want anything to do with me!"

"Sweetheart, I don't think it's like that,"

"He said it himself, dad. I'm so tired and now he's going to rehab. I just want him to be okay,"

Mr. Bass sighed out. "Sammi, listen to me and listen to me good. Do you love Nikki?" Sammi sniffled her tears away, wiping the fallen ones away, and nodded. "You have to say it out loud,"

"I love Nikki,"

"Okay then. Now I believe Nikki loves you too. He just wants to protect you even more from himself by pushing you away at this moment. You have to accept that and be away from him,"

"But I don't want to," pouted Sammi.

"This may be cheesy but like they always say if you love something set it free. If it doesn't come back, you never had it. If it comes back to you, it was meant to be . I think you just need to set Nikki free for a moment so you two can come back to each other stronger. Do you understand?"

Sammi nodded but still let out a few more tears. Oh, to feel all of this in just one day.

21 notes · View notes

domesticblisss · 4 years ago

Text

24 Hours

Marcel Barthel x Female Reader x Fabian Aichner Rating: Mature (Minors DNI) Word count: 2008 Warnings: Smut/A little angsty. Oral (female and male receiving), threesome, double penetration, PiV, anal. Alcohol mention. Inspired by Sky Ferreira’s song, 24 hours.

If she could describe their relationship, she would describe it with “I don’t know”. Simple as that. One big I don’t know. She doesn’t think they could be called friends with benefits, well, they talk almost weekly, ask how each other’s lives are going... does that makes them friends? She likes to call themselves “I’m in town, let’s do something with benefits”. They don’t live that far from each other, it’s a 4 hour drive from their respective towns, and an even smaller flight. Their schedule rarely match, she knows how busy they get with training and travelling for live shows and she’s constantly travelling for her own job too.

They met a few years ago, the three of them far away from the places they now call home. She was in Los Angeles to meet a potential new client to her company and Marcel and Fabian, just arriving from Europe, on their first tour with NXT.

She met Marcel first. Tall, blonde, energetic. The sharpest cheekbones she has ever seen, green eyes that made her breathless. He sees her sitting at the bar’s counter and decides to try his luck. To be honesty, she wasn’t looking for anything, but how could she say no to that angel face that she knew was trouble. He was funny, his thick german accent making her swoon. They kept their conversation going for what felt like 40 minutes until they hear a strong but at the same time soft man’s voice shouting Marcel’s name.

Marcel introduces the new guy to her, “This is Fabian, my partner! We wrestle together.” Fabian is... something. Tall, but shorter than Marcel. Bald, but she can see the hint of a thick beard coming in. Broad shoulders, morning sky blue eyes, more reserved. Marcel does almost all the talking, but only nice things comes out when Fabian decides to speak. He also got an accent, she can’t pinpoint from where exactly, assumes it’s european too and later finds out he’s italian. “A german and an italian, what a combination...” she thinks, mesmerised by the way Fabian stares at her and this knowing look Marcel gets in his eyes when he glances at the both of them.

They decided to move to a table, to get more comfortable. A few beers for them, a couple of gin and tonics for her and they stay there chatting, exchanging experiences and laughs for hours. The bar is getting more crowded as time passes and it’s almost midnight when Fabian asks “do you want to get out of here? somewhere more quiet, more private?”

“With the two of you?” she wonders, incredulous.

“We’re like a 2 for 1 package deal!” intervenes Marcel.

She stops, looks at their faces for a few seconds. Fabian is serene, just waiting for his ‘yes or no’ answer, Marcel looks like an eager kid at a candy store, about to explode with excitement but trying to hide it behind a nonchalant mask.

She wets her lips, looks at the both of them and agrees with it, “Sure. Where are you two staying at?”

They ended up going to hers, it being a five minute walk only.

What she thought would be a 1 hour top kind of night turned out to be a 48 hour weekend, with them stopping only to eat, drink some water and rest for a bit when it got too much. When she asked them if they need to workout or practice they answered in union “Oh, it’s gonna be a cardio weekend”.

Those little time out moments they spent getting to know each other. The boys told her how they started wrestling, places they’ve traveled and people they’ve met. She told them about how she started her own marketing company a year ago and how it’s slowly growing.

“I’m here for a client meeting, actually. A big, big client. I was at the bar celebrating.”

“So that means you got the contract, right?” Fabian asks excitedly.

“Yeah!”, and with her confirmation, Marcel agrees it calls for a celebration.

The celebration turns out to be 3 back to back orgasms for her. She was sure they would have had continued if she didn’t beg them to stop once she couldn’t feel her legs anymore.

The weekend went on like this. By the time the trio had to leave, they had exchanged contacts and addresses, finding out how close to each other they were.

They kept in touch, always reaching out to see how the other was, letting them know if they were around. That was their dynamic. A few encounters that lasted, 2, 3, 24 hours that, sometimes, she wished it would never end.

One summer, tired of all the work she has been doing, she decides to take a vacation. This comes up during one of their conversations and Marcel has the great idea of inviting her to watch them perform live, “You could stay with us, if you want to, of course”, Fabian chimes in.

Agreeing with it, she packs her stuff and leaves on the next wednesday. She decides to drive there, using those precious little hours to clear her head. The GPS system and radio are on and it’s time to go.

The first couple of hours goes smoothly. She sings along to her favourite tunes, dances a little and makes a quick bathroom break. When she’s back in the road, the GPS alerts her that an accident happened, doubling her arrival time. Deciding to let the boys know, she sends them a quick audio message on their group chat, “Hey, some accident just happened on the highway. Traffic is awful... I’ll probably get there by the time the show starts.” Fabian is the one to answer her, almost immediately, telling her that’s it’s okay, that when she arrives she should look for Harry Johnson from Relations that everything will be sorted out, finishing with a “Please drive safe, tesoro ❤”

That tesoro and heart emoji combo haunted her for the rest of the trip.

They never called her any pet names.

The rest of the trip went by without any troubles. She arrives 10 minutes before the show starts, with Harry waiting for her by the door, being greeted with a backstage pass and a front row seat ticket.

She was delighted with the show. The sheer athleticism, the lights and the charisma were out of this world. But she couldn’t believe was how well Marcel and Fabian worked together. They knew each other’s moves to perfection, they knew exactly what to do, when to attack their opponents, when to save each other. Their perfect partnership made them win the NXT Tag Team titles for the second time that night.

She ran backstage looking for them, meeting the duo at their dressing room.

Marcel was the first one to greet her, hugging her so tightly she couldn’t breathe, “I’m so happy you came to see us, liebe!”

The boys took turns on taking their showers to keep her company, deciding that it would be better to head straight to their apartment. Marcel went ahead of them, letting Fabian accompany her, guiding her back to their place.

It was a silent drive, with soft music playing on the radio. He kept his left hand on her right thigh all the time, rubbing soothing circles on its insides. On red lights he would either seal their lips together or pepper her cheeks and neck with light kisses.

As soon as she got through the door of their apartment, Marcel was on her, clinging on her lips like a starved man, “do you know how much we have missed you, liebe?”

“We can’t believe you are here, Tesoro. We shouldn’t stay that long without seeing each other again”, says Fabian, while kissing her neck.

“What is it with the two of you and pet names today?” she says between moans, both Fabian and Marcel hitting her sweet spots. Marcel stops and asks what she means with it, she says that this is the first time they ever called her something like that and all he says before lifting her up to snake her legs around his waist is “I’m sorry, let us right our wrongs”

The german takes her to his bedroom, Fabian following close behind. As soon as they arrive, they waste no time on taking their clothes off. Marcel lies on his bed, ordering her to sit on his face which she takes no time to comply.

“I brought lube and the plug, they are on the pink bag on the front pocket of my suitcase.” She tells Fabian when they break their kiss, and she can feel Marcel moan beneath her. Fabian wastes no time to grab it, covering two fingers in lube and inserting one at a time to get her used to it. He takes is time with it, going slow as to not hurt her, after a minute, he slowly inserts the plug.

She grabs him by the hand, brings him down to a quick kiss and as soon as he is up, she stars sucking him. Slow licks and stokes, increasing as she feels him lose control, he grabs her by the hair, making her deep throat his dick.

Between her legs, Marcel takes some time to breathe, mesmerized by the scene unfolding above him, “You two are so fucking hot” and goes back to his job.

They stay like that for a while, with her only stopping sucking Fabian when she reaches her high.

The boys switch places, Fabian now lying down, helping her take the plug off to switch it with his throbbing cock. Marcel is not left behind, lining himself between her thighs and entering her in one swift move.

Their great work on the ring transfers to the bedroom, with the both of them working in sync to make her lose her mind. It isn’t long before she comes again, taking Fabian with her. Marcel keeps his thrusts hard and deep even with her walls closing around him, making him reach his own high a matter of seconds later.

He collapses on top of them, making the other two laugh. They stay like this for a little while, basking in each other’s presence, taking in their scents.

Marcel decides to get up when he feels his dick going limp inside her, grabbing a towel to clean her up a little, and Fabian opts for grabbing a bottle of water for the three of them.

They get back to bed with her, silence consuming them. After a few minutes, all the thoughts she has been suppressing for sometime now comes back to her.

“What are we?”

“What do you mean, liebe?”

“Are we friends? Acquaintances? What is this thing we have? I’m sorry and if you guys want to end it after this, it’s okay, but I have to say it, I’ve been keeping it inside for so long… the days we have together are the best ones. Ever. It sucks that I can only see the two of you for so little time, one day or a weekend is not enough. I always look forward to your texts, even when it’s you sending some stupid gaming meme I don’t get or Marcel thirst trapping. I hate that we live so close to each other and see ourselves so little… FUCK I’m ranting, I’m sorry. I should probably leave.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Fabian stops her, “first of all, Tesoro, you are not leaving and we are not ending anything. Marcel and I were talking about this last week, that’s why we decided to invite you to the show tonight. We love you and we didn’t know how to say it. Wait, I guess I just did? Anyway… you have your life and we didn’t want to mess with it, but, if you want to, we could try and work something out.”

“So, what do you say, liebe? Could we work something out?”

“Yeah, we can work something out…”

#fabian aicher x reader #fabian aichner imagine #marcel barthel x reader #marcel barthel imagine #wrestling imagine #DB Writes

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ravenforce · 4 years ago

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Cheating Death VIII

Warning/s: None

Summary: End of the line for this crazy ride.

A/N: Thank you so much for sticking with me for this story. I hope you like how this ending.

Parts: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7

Carol didn’t come home until the sun’s already high in the sky. She can hear the telltale commotion in the living room even before she rounded the corner. When she stood at the doorway, everyone was suited up which makes her wonder why she never received a directive.

“Where are you guys going?” She asked, startling the whole team. When Nat heard her voice, she almost tackled her in the ground.

“Where have you been?” Nat murmured in her hair while she wrapped her arms around the redhead tighter, committing every last detail of Nat and Nat’s hug in her memory.

“I’m sorry I went for a run.”

Everyone knows that it was Carol’s code for when she goes on a quick fly off-world. Sam chuckled, breaking everyone out of their reverie.

“Alright, Cap’s back. Let’s change and head for breakfast, yeah?” He said while walking towards the door. “Meet me at the garage after 15 minutes.”

Everyone nodded their agreement except Carol. “You guys go ahead, I’m gonna catch some sleep,” she said with too much enthusiasm that alerted her girlfriend that something was amiss. Carol knew she didn’t sell it when Nat foregoes breakfast to stay with her. When everyone’s out of the room, Nat watched her like a hawk.

“What’s wrong, Car?”

There’s a worry in her voice that makes Carol’s stomach twist and turn. She walked towards the fridge and popped open one of Bucky’s can of beer. Another sign for Nat to believe something’s about to go down. Carol took a long swig of the beer before delicately putting it down at the marble counter.

“Carol?”

Carol sighed heavily. She went to space to clear her head, to figure out what to do and she did. She swears she has decided but knowing what to do doesn’t always mean it’ll be easier.

“Do you love me, Nat?”

Nat's face fell, her eyebrows knitted together. “What kind of question is that? Of course, I do. I wouldn’t be with you if I don’t.”

“But you weren’t really with me,” Carol whispered, still not looking at the redhead directly. “Not since you found out Y/N’s alive.”

Nat felt a wave of guilt wash over her. “I’m -”

She wanted to apologize. She wanted to tell Carol she’ll make it right, that she’ll do better but Carol cut her off.

“Do you want to be with Y/N?” This time Carol lifted her head to look at Natasha’s green eyes.

There’s a hint of resignation in her voice, Nat noted and it’s making her frantic inside. “I don’t know,” she replied. Carol sensed that Nat has more to say. So, she stayed quiet and waited for Nat to continue. Nat started pacing on the other side of the counter. Nat knows that there’s no use lying to Carol, she also doesn’t want to anymore. “I do, Carol. I want to be with her but I also don’t want to hurt you.”

Carol smiled and gave her a small nod before downing the rest of her beer. She rounded the kitchen counter and stood in front of the redhead. She cupped Nat’s face. “But you already are, and you’re not just hurting me. You’re hurting both of us and yourself.”

“I’m so sorry, Carol.”

“I know,” she said before pulling Nat in another hug. “Me too but you deserve to be with who you want and who makes you truly happy.”

“You made me happy.”

Carol smiled and pulled away. “I know, you made me happy too but you should hurry. You’re running out of time.”

Nat’s confusion is written all over her face. “What do you mean?”

“Y/N’s leaving for good,” Carol clarified watching Nat’s expression turn from confusion to that of panic. Nat would have questioned how she knew this but Carol’s already turning her and pushing her towards the door.

Nat put her foot down even before she could cross the threshold and turned towards Carol and kissed her, one last time. “I need you to know that what we had is real,” Nat almost pleaded. Carol smiled because under the Black Widow’s intimidating demeanour is a soft, kind, and loving Natasha Romanoff.

“I know it’s real, Nat. I don’t doubt it.” Carol turned her on her heel again. “Now, go before you miss her.”

***

After Nat left, Carol stood at the doorway, watching the empty hallway.

“Are you sure that’s the right thing to do?”

Carol startled. She poked her head out to see Agent Hill leaning against the wall with her arms crossed. “Jeez, is it really necessary for you to be as stealthy as Nick?”

Maria chuckled before walking past her to go to the kitchen, completely ignoring the question. Carol followed closely behind.

“So?”

“Yes, and I meant what I said, which you probably heard, since you were clearly eavesdropping,” Carol teased. In the course of her staying on earth, she’s grown really close with the team as well as Agent Hill.

“I was not.” Maria continued to rummage through the fridge.

Carol can hear the smile in her voice. “Anyway, I meant what I said, she deserves to be happy.”

Maria emerged from the fridge empty-handed. “Well, you too. So-” Maria looked uncharacteristically nervous. “Let me take you to breakfast.”

Carol squinted at her brunette friend. “Are you? Are you asking me out on a date?”

Maria laughed, making her started giggling as well. When Maria recovered, she looked at Carol’s beautiful hazel eyes. “Not today, Captain. Today breakfast’s platonic,” Maria teased. “For now.”

Carol almost choked at her own spit before she promptly turned a shade of a tomato. It’s not like she never thought Maria was gorgeous. She just didn’t think she’d ever stand a chance, then again, she dated THE Natasha Romanoff.

“For now,” Carol agreed with a soft smile. Maybe things really do happen for a reason.

***

Your sisters are having breakfast with Meg and Cass who just got back from flying you to Egypt when one of their stationed guards knocked on the dining hall before poking his head in.

“What is it, Max?” Talia asked softly after wiping her mouth with the cloth napkin on her lap.

“Ma’am, Natasha Romanoff is here to see you,” he answered respectfully.

“Send her in.”

Meg and Cass eyed your sisters as they resumed eating their breakfast in silence and with their completely impassive faces intact. For outsiders, your sisters can be downright intimidating without doing anything at all.

“It’s rude to stare, Megan,” Talia admonished lightly.

“I’m -” Megan opted not to finish her sentence but instead avert her eyes and continue stabbing her food. Talia smirked, making Nyssa roll her eyes. Nyssa’s absolutely sure that Talia likes having people on their toes that’s why she keeps the faux stern attitude. Before she can call her sister on it, there’s a faint knock on the door and then Natasha walked into the room.

“Hello,” she greeted almost shyly. “I’m sorry to interrupt your breakfast, again.”

Talia put her utensils down before leaning back on her chair. She’s sitting on the head of the family, making her even look more badass than she already does. “She’s not here, Natasha.”

Nat thank whatever higher power there is in the universe for her training that she’s able to resist the urge to shuffle in front of your sisters. “I know,” she said softly. “I didn’t come here for Y/N. I came here for both of you.”

When no question was forthcoming, Natasha took it as a sign to continue. “Y/N came to space to die to bring me back, I will turn this world upside down to find her but before that, I need your blessing.”

Nyssa’s eyebrow shot to her hairline. “Whatever do you need our blessings for?” She asked confidently.

“When I find her, I intend to ask her to marry me.”

Megan and Cassandra choked on their food and drinks simultaneously. Natasha eyed them for a few seconds to check if they’re alright before turning back her gaze to your sisters. “I lost her a decade ago, I’m not losing her again.”

The silence was deafening. Talia and Nyssa just stared at Natasha for what seems like a lifetime, seemingly trying to look for something before they decide. They both seem to have come to a decision at the same time but Talia spoke first.

“I’m sorry Natasha but we can’t help you. We don’t know where she is,” Talia lied smoothly.

Nat sighed. It’s not like she expected your sisters to cooperate and make things easy for her. At least, they already know the plan; that’s a consolation. “Alright. I should go then, thank you for your time,” Nat said with a polite smile. She turned to leave.

“Wait -”

“What are you doing, Nyssa?” Talia whispered through gritted teeth. Nyssa ignored her in favour of speaking to Natasha.

“She already died for you twice. I’m tired of losing her every time too.” Nyssa smiled sadly. “We love having her here. So please bring her home.”

“I will,” Nat said with a smile. She turned to leave again but this time it was Cass who called for her. When she looked at the raven-haired girl, she yelled, “catch!”

Nat scrambled to catch the item and was surprised to see a key. She looked at Cass in silent question. “Y/N said you know how to fly. I’m sure my father won’t mind if you borrow one of his jets,” Cass beamed.

Nat turned the key over in her hand. Lo and behold, the key is indeed one of Batman’s jet. She looked back at Cass. “Thank you.”

***

You rolled on your back with a groan. When you opened your eyes, a beautiful shade of tangerine bathes your room. Great, you slept the day away, you thought to yourself. You sighed while staring at the flickering shadows on your ceiling. You didn’t come to Egypt to mope. You came to Egypt to move forward, no matter how hard and painful that is. You count up to a hundred before rolling out of bed, you decided you’ll not spend your first night back staring at the ceiling and thinking what could have been if you just stayed.

You took a cold shower and dressed in a soft shirt, light trousers and a light jacket since it can be chilly at night even in the desert. Your new landlord waved you over when she saw you come out of your rented room.

“Hello,” Rashida - you barely remembered her name since you arrived so early - said with a smile. “Is everything in order in your room?”

You smiled genuinely thinking she can’t be more than a year older than you. “Yes, thank you so much. The welcome basket - with all the fresh pastries - was a saviour.”

Rashida can tell that you weren’t lying about enjoying the food. “If you like it so much, make sure to wake up on time tomorrow for a complimentary breakfast. I bake all the pastries,” she said with obvious pride.

“I’m already setting an alarm,” you said while fishing for your phone at your back pocket. Rashida laughed, and you decided you wanted the woman to be your friend. “I’m serious. I am, when was it again?”

“You’re ridiculous. It starts at 7AM. See you?”

“I’ll be the first in the dining hall,” you said smiling while walking to your black 2017 Ford Raptor. You feel a little lighter after making friends with Rashida. You pulled out of the parking lot with no real destination in mind. So you when you stopped the car, you surprised yourself by driving all the way to the pyramids subconsciously.

The sun was almost kissing the horizon, bathing the sky and everything around you in seemingly varying colours of red, yellow and orange. You looked at the last vestige of tourists leaving the area as it’s soon to close, and then you turned your gaze at the towering structure in front of you. You cast a glamour to shroud you from the naked human eye until you were absolutely sure there’s no living soul left around the area. After all, what you planned to do is highly illegal.

It took only about a fraction of your semi-immortal life until you’re utterly alone in the desert. You thank whatever power there is in the universe for all the gifts that come with being the heir to the demon, you were able to scale the pyramid without breaking a sweat. The sky has turned from orange to grey, and you can already see the telltale signs of the thousand little stars in the sky.

You took a deep breath before sitting down at the only flat surface in the pyramid that you could find. You opened your backpack and procured an expensive bottle of wine, care of your sisters fully stocked bar. You smiled thinking about how they would react if they find out you helped yourself on their precious stash. You drank a glass for them and Cass and Megan for putting up with your bullshit for the longest time.

***

You sat there for heaven knows how long, drinking and texting your sisters and your friends. You were relaxed and relatively having a good time, all things considered, that you didn’t hear anyone coming.

“You know it’s illegal to be up here right?”

You startled so bad, you knocked the bottle of wine over and spilt the blood-red liquid on the pyramid. For a split second, you made a face at the mess you made before turning to the person who caused you to make the mess in the first place.

“What are you doing here, Tasha?” Your heart is hammering in your chest, yet your voice is laced with surprise and confusion. “How did you find me?”

Nat smirked before tossing you a key, which you scrambled to catch without falling to yet another one of your deaths. She chuckled at your unusual display of franticness. You glared at her before turning the key over in your hand.

Ah, Cassandra Cain, you thought to yourself while she sat down and watched the stars littering the dark Egyptian sky.

“Why are you ticking off items in our bucket list without me?” She asked with a deep frown and a sadness in her voice that’s as clear as the water flowing down the Swiss alps. When you didn’t speak, she glanced at you with unshed tears in her eyes and the sight pulled you down on your knees beside her.

“I didn’t think I’d still be able to do them with you,” you whispered. “I didn’t think you still want to do them with me, either.” You bit your lips to prevent yourself from sobbing uncontrollably but Nat’s heart broke, all the same, to see you so defeated. The mighty, semi-immortal, heir to the demon, Osiris, down on her knees just because you think she didn’t want you.

Nat turned her body towards you and reached over to touch your face and make you look at her eyes. “There’s really no one else I want to do them with but you,” she confessed wholeheartedly, making more annoying tears roll down your cheeks.

“Carol?” You asked between wet hiccups.

“I love Carol, I do but after all this time - ” Nat paused to scoot closer to you. “-I’m still in love with only you. I thought I lost you forever a decade ago. I don’t want to lose you ever again, Y/N.”

You almost fell off the side of the pyramids when you couldn’t contain any longer and you tackled Natasha in a long, tight hug. Thankfully, Nat’s time in the red room gave her so much control of her extremities. For a moment, you just kept holding each other, making up for the decade you lost.

“Marry me, Y/N Al Ghul.”

The declaration made you pull away surprised. You searched her face for any sign of insincerity. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Please, say yes,” Nat continued when you just stared at her.

“Oh! That was a question?” You started grinning at her. “It didn’t sound like a question. I didn’t think I had a choice in the matter.”

Nat rolled her eyes playfully at you. “I take it -”

She wasn’t able to finish her sentence before you crashed your lips together in a passionate kiss that lasted for what seems like an eternity. You were grinning again when you both pulled away for air. “No take backs, never ever,” you said while shaking your head.

“So, what’s it gonna be, dorkus?”

It’s your turn to roll your eyes at her. “Yes!”

“Who’s there?” Someone at the foot of the pyramid yelled.

You and Nat scrambled to get away from the edge. You can see a lone flashlight trying to search the edges to see if someone is actually brave enough to scale the pyramid and face the harsh Egyptian punishment for caught offenders. After a minute or two of huddling away from the light, the guard was convinced no one was there and left eventually. Leaving you and Nat giggling like two stupid teenagers.

“Let’s get out of here before someone comes along and catch us for real,” Nat says offering you a hand. You held her hand for a minute.

“Psh. Catch Osiris and the Black Widow? I’d like to see them try,” you said before teleporting both of you to your car.

#drabble #mini series #avengers imagine #natasha romanoff x reader #black widow x reader #scarlett johansson x reader #natasha romanoff imagine #black widow imagine #scarlett johansson imagine #minor: carolnat #past: carolnat #longest drabble ever #cheating death #cheating death series

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the-hopeless-haze · 4 years ago

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Someone to Need You Too Much (Being Alive Chapter 4)

(not my gif)

PREVIOUS CHAPTER

Read on Archive

CONTENT WARNING: This chapter mentions past sexual abuse. It is par for the course in what you’d expect in an SVU episode but I am mentioning it here because it concerns the reader.

This is when Rafael usually starts checking out.

But you weren't how women normally acted at this stage, hell, the two of you hadn't even made it official yet or told the squad.

You needed him, though, in ways he wasn't used to being needed, having been single for so long. You'd call him if you hadn’t seen him over at the precinct, ask him how his day went and talk about yours, and you'd get him out of the office to go to dinner at least once a week.

But you never said this, you never verbalized that you needed him there, you never nagged, never made him feel bad if his work got in the way and he had to reschedule. Maybe it's because you were busy too, or maybe you were just that understanding. Either way, he’s surprised the two of you haven’t gotten into a fight more serious than work-related spats.

Rafael had been right, as this was fun at least for now, and maybe if all you needed him for was weekend dinners and the occasional Broadway show, that’d be fine. Your sense of humor matches his, you drink scotch, you smell lovely... but you had been pulling away recently; in fact, you hadn’t called him since you went out to dinner last weekend. He tries to chalk it up to you being busy with work, but he can’t fight the anxiety that the end is already here. Why the hell did he even give this a half-assed shot? Of course you weren’t genuinely interested. Of course you’d be another tally mark, another notch in his belt- and it’s not like he was truly upset, because he had figured it would end at some point the second he agreed to take you to dinner, and thankfully, the squad didn’t know yet. Still, though, this soon? It’d barely been two months.

Or maybe your withdrawal was due to that time you were making out with him on the couch - and you’d suddenly pushed him off, went to the bathroom, and didn’t kiss him the rest of the night. He broke out an expensive bottle of wine, then, and tried his best to genuinely apologize, because he did feel awful - but you’d told him he’d done nothing wrong, and that you just needed time. But maybe you’d lied to make him feel better; maybe he had pushed you too far, which truly wasn’t his intention. Rafael may be a dick, but working sex crimes gave him a much better respect for the responsibility of a man to make sure his partner was comfortable with what was happening in the bedroom (or on the couch, or wherever). But Jesus, he’d barely touched you, and he made a point to be more careful with you than anyone he’d ever been with, not just because of your age, but because he figured that your irreparable damage had been of a sexual nature, whether it was a bad boyfriend who didn’t take your needs into consideration or something more serious due to your conversation with Olivia months prior.

With that in mind, Rafael decides it’s more probable that it is work that was causing you to distance yourself rather than anything he may have done. The cases with children were always difficult, for anyone, really, but especially you. And this man? He targeted disabled children specifically, and you weren't doing well. He wonders how he could go about asking to take you off it without you finding out and without Olivia interrogating him as to why he cared so much. It's not like you're not putting in the work; in fact, it's the opposite, if anything, you're drowning yourself in it. Every time he stops by the precinct, you barely say a hello to him, and you're buried in a case file or researching something on your laptop, biting your nails down to the quick. You were always invested in your work, but not like this, and Rafael was a workaholic if there ever was one, but even you were stressing him out right now. He has half a mind to search your purse for a new pack of cigarettes, but he doesn't think you'd take too kindly to that.

When he gets to the precinct later this morning, you’re not there, though, and he asks Carisi why reluctantly. He frowns, looking genuinely upset. “She’s not taking this too well, Barba. I know she wants to be here, but it hits home for whatever reason, and Searge made her take the rest of the day off and probably tomorrow. She was crying when she left, but she wouldn’t talk to me. I mean, whatever it is, I don’t think she should be questioning the suspect, but she’s good with the kids, you know?”

Rafael would be lying if he said he wasn’t a little worried, but he figured you’d turn up of your own accord if you needed to talk.

And later on, early in the afternoon, you do.

"Are you busy?" you ask, standing in his office doorway awkwardly.

"Always,” he says, but he takes his feet off the desk and puts down his legal pad. “What brings you out here? Carisi told me Liv sent you home.”

"I...I need to talk. I don’t want to be alone right now,” you say anxiously.

"Okay. Sit down," he says.

You oblige, sitting in the seat across from his desk, but you’re still trembling. "My brother is disabled."

It all makes sense now, why this case, in particular, was hurting you so much. God, if this case turned his stomach, what did it do to you?

“He... he was raped, too. It was my dad’s best friend... basically his brother. We used to call him uncle. He was a teacher, and he’d pick us up after school a lot and bring us back home to watch us. I...I’m older than my brother by two years, and I joined the soccer team in middle school and that man would be alone with him. I just... I... my brother couldn’t voice it, not the way you and I can. Most nine-year-olds can’t anyway, you know, but because of the disability... he had no idea. He didn’t know the words to explain what happened to him, but he would start saying he didn’t want to go home with this man. My parents both worked long hours, and they were on the outs anyway, so they just thought he missed them and didn’t look into it. They trusted that man... and I did too. Until... one day a game was canceled because of rain, and I walked in, and...”

You stop talking, silent tears falling from your eyes. Rafael gets up, coming round to the edge of the desk to stand closer to you.

“Hey. Take your time,” he whispers, leaning over and putting a hand on your shoulder. “I know this is hard.”

You nod, looking up at him. “I barely knew what sex was at that time. I didn’t really know what to call it, but I knew my brother was getting hurt, that the man was taking advantage of him, and maybe I should’ve called my mother or my father or the police, but I didn’t. I froze for a few moments and then I did the only thing that came to me and I tried to pull him off my brother. It worked, I scared him enough to make him stop but he grabbed me and...he did the same to me. I just remember it hurt so bad... like he was tearing me in half.”

Rafael shudders, but even still he’s in awe of your brazenness even at 11 years old. Just going right in and apprehending the perpetrator. You were born a detective, in a way.

You’re sobbing, now, and really, he can’t blame you. Suddenly, you get up, throwing your arms around him, and if you were ever in need of a hug, he supposes after recounting this story would be the prime time.

“Hey, hey, shhh. No one’s gonna hurt you now, (y/n),” he murmurs, running his hand over your hair. “Lo siento. Shhh. Shh.”

He calms you down a little bit, whispering condolences in Spanish and kissing the top of your head. Rafael doesn’t know exactly what to do as he’s never been good at comforting anyone. It’s something his exes would yell at him for time and time again, assuming his awkwardness meant that he didn’t care they were upset. It’s just something he wishes he could avoid, that everyone could sort out their issues alone as he did. But that was a joke, wasn’t it? Like he’d sorted anything out in these four decades of being alive. He repressed them, sure, but healed from them? No. And maybe it wasn’t fair to expect everyone to live that way.

And again, he can’t really blame you for needing someone right now, even though he sort of wished it wasn’t him (and he does feel guilty for thinking that, but it’s still true). What you’d gone through, well, it was unthinkable, and he imagines you relive it through the eyes of your brother every time you talk to one of these victims. What solace could Rafael give you right now besides, “Oh, honey, it gets better”?

Fuck that. Maybe it did get better, or you got better yourself, but none of that was going to come from Rafael trying to manifest it with his meaningless words. Rafael presumes another reason you came here besides your (ongoing?) fling was because he wasn’t an SVU detective and wasn’t going to revictimize you. So, instead, he asks what a lawyer would ask. “Did he get convicted?”

“Yeah. He did get put away,” you continue, as you pull away from him a little, still holding onto his arms. “It took me a while to come to terms with it, but I couldn’t let him continue to do that to my brother. I told my parents within the week.”

“Did your father believe you?” he asks, unsure if that was insensitive to ask.

“My father definitely didn’t want to believe it at first, but he always believed me for everything. We were always close, still are. My mother... I think she felt she failed as a mom for not noticing it, so she was in denial for a while. The detectives that dealt with it... they didn’t even look into the school, they just tried him for our case. And I always hated them for that, when I was old enough to realize.”

“Is this why you became a detective?” he asks quietly.

“Well, sort of. I wouldn’t have if I didn’t know about SVU; that’s why I have all those psychology credits too. I wasn’t entirely sure what I wanted to do. I always wanted to come to New York, though, and you know, I thought I’d be able to help children who went through the same thing my brother and I did. I just didn’t think it’d be this hard,” you say, looking up at him.

“Of course it’s hard. SVU is hard for me, too, and I haven’t experienced anything like that,” he says, swallowing thickly. But that was a lie, in a sense, as he'd been beaten before by the hands of his own father and watched his mother suffer as well. There was a reason he was distant during domestic violence cases. He hopes you don't notice this omission, and he looks at you sympathetically instead.

“I thought I could handle it, though, and not act like a basket case,” you say, turning away from his gaze. “How am I supposed to help anyone if I get sent home?”

“Why did Liv send you home?” he asks, again wondering if he was asking the questions you needed to answer. A good part of his job was figuring out the right questions to ask, but this was overwhelming. “Not that I don’t agree, but I’m just wondering what she said."

You roll your eyes, sniffle a little. “She said it wasn’t good for my mental health to be around the suspect and that I was going to stress out the parents. No one on that squad knows what it’s like to live with and love someone with a disability, Rafael, and I just... I want to be there. I could help, if she’d let me.”

“Now isn’t the time to beat yourself up. I think the time off will be helpful to you," he says, squeezing your shoulder again. Wasn't that the catch-22? You join these professions to help people like yourself, but you hurt yourself in the process and become of no use. He thinks back to the first domestic violence case he was put on, a family not unlike his own, and it nearly broke him down, nearly made him quit and throw away those seven years of education. But he didn't. And you wouldn't walk away either.

“How is your brother doing now?”

“Ben - his name is Ben - he’s doing better. He's very shy, and he can get anxious and have panic attacks. He has fragile X syndrome, and that’s what caused his autism... I used to try and take him out everywhere with me once I got a car, to help him get used to talking to people. It doesn’t help, you know, the way people are when they see someone disabled, and sometimes it’d be hard, but... I just want him to live as normal a life as possible. He still lives with my mom, now. I just think the assault made him so much worse. I mean, I don’t know if he’ll ever get a job, now, or... it’s just hard to think about sometimes.”

“I can only imagine,” he says softly, because he really has no idea.

“Well, I’m just gonna...I’m just gonna go home,” you say. “Thank you for listening. I needed someone to. I know it’s a lot. But I don’t want to take you away from this case either. We’re already one person down since Liv kicked me out, and if I needed you to win the last case... I absolutely need you to win this one, Rafael. I didn’t get to question that man but I was on this case before and I know he raped them, that fucking bastard—“

“Hey, hey, calm down,” he says gently. “Okay. I know. I watched Liv interrogate him earlier. I believe you, and you know I’m going to do everything I can. I'm going to charge him, and we're going to get him.” Jesus, he needs to stop promising you guilty verdicts. But how the hell could he say no when this clearly meant the world to you? This was all too much. What the hell did you need?

“Okay. I know I’m asking for a lot but I need... I need this. And I can help you however you need. Liv can’t stop me from helping you prep witnesses or—“

“Slow down, (y/n). You still need the time off. You know that, right? You’re going to keep getting kicked off cases if you keep trying to push it. I know how Olivia is when it comes to this.”

“But, Rafael—“

“No. We’re done talking about the case, now, okay? You need to think about something else and get your mind off it for a while. Did you want to go get coffee?”

Fucking coffee. Why did Rafael think that equaled comfort? Maybe because the harsh acidity of stale coffee was his only friend some days, and he’d learned that a good cup could be a great mood improvement. Fuck, that was sad, wasn’t it?

“No, it’s fine,” you say, your face falling. “You need to work. I’m just going to go back home, then.”

You turn to leave, grabbing your purse with shaky hands, but he stops you.

“Are you sure you should be alone right now?”

“You’re working, Rafael—“

“Yes, I know, but you’re welcome to stay here.”

You force a smile, shaking your head. “No. It’s okay. I appreciate it. Are you free later though? I know we haven’t gone out in a while, and I could use the company.”

So you didn’t want to end things. Rafael is simultaneously relieved that you wanted to stick around and terrified for the very same reason.

“You know what?” he says, feeling a brazenness he’s unsure of the origin of. “Do you want just a night in? I can give you my apartment key. If you want to go there now, you can. I’ll meet you there later. I’ll try to get out around 7.”

“You want me to just hang out in your apartment?

“Yes,” he says, kissing the top of your head and giving you the key. “I have good scotch, and I guarantee I have a better shower head installed than your apartment. Just go. Make yourself comfortable.”

“Yeah, just say my apartment's a piece of shit, Rafael," you scoff.

He smirks. "That's not what I said. It's not bad for a single woman on a detective's salary. I can tell you saved for it. But it's nowhere near the lap of luxury."

"Oh, but your place is?" you counter, hands on your hips. You're still stressed, he can tell, but maybe you needed the banter. He hopes he's not pushing it too far.

"No, I wouldn't go that far. But tell me, where would you rather spend the night?"

You roll your eyes at him, and he knows you've conceded.

"Do you have anything in your fridge?" you ask. "I could at least cook."

“Probably not. But don’t worry about it. I can pick something up on my way home.”

“No, you don’t get it, I like to cook. Sonny gave me new recipes. You have a bigger kitchen than I do..."

“Is that what would make you happy?”

“Yeah. I need to put my mind on something else right now; like you said.”

“Then... have at it. Don’t burn my place down, though.”

You roll your eyes, kiss his cheek, and leave.

He’s not used to having to take care of anyone. It's been so long since he let anyone get this close, that they felt he would take care of them. Maybe that wasn’t what you were looking for. He wasn’t your father; maybe you just wanted support from an equal. Maybe he wanted to give it. It’s foreign, the feeling of walls he’d spent so long trying to build cracking at the foundations. But hell, if anyone could... couldn’t it be you?

It’s not like Rafael was opposed to long-term, except, well, he was. He’d say there was never an opportunity, he’d tell his mother there was just no one out there. But it’s not like he tried, either.

With you, it’s not much like trying. It all just happened effortlessly, on his part, at least. You made the first move, and most of the successive ones after that. And you’d said you didn’t know what you wanted - yet it’s becoming clearer to Rafael that what you were the kind of person who needed a partner, a lover, possibly a husband. That makes him beyond uneasy. He’d grown to care about you more than he would have liked these past couple of months, but that didn’t mean he was ready for that kind of commitment, if he ever would be.

And this, now, this requires more effort on his part; it requires more of himself to be used to try and help you feel better.

When he comes home that night, the kitchen is a complete mess, with flour in every crevice, dirty pans in the sink, and grocery bags left on the table. It damn near gives him a heart attack, and maybe he would’ve yelled at you, but he swallows his anger down bitterly. You need gentleness, kindness, softness right now, and that’s a tall order for Rafael, especially when you destroy his apartment... but he couldn’t forgive himself if he hurt you when you were already down. Kitchens could be cleaned. Trust couldn’t be repaired.

It might all be worth it, though. And, as it turns out, maybe Carisi was good for something, or you were an amazing chef (perhaps both) because it might have been the best pasta he’d ever had in his life.

“So you made this? These little things?” He stabs into a couple more pillows of pasta, enjoying the fresh, springy taste.

You laugh, clear and bright. You’re a little tipsy; you’d taken full advantage of his scotch collection, but you needed to take the edge off. “They’re called gnocchi, Rafael. And yes. I made them from scratch.”

“I just might have to keep you around,” he says, smiling at you, and you giggle, kissing his open mouth.

“You better,” you say, moving to sit on his lap. He wraps his arms around your waist. “Anyone else I’ve tried to get close to... it scares them. Or they don’t comprehend how big of a deal it was. It broke me, Rafael. It broke my whole family. You might be the only man I’ve been with who’s understood the consequences that has on a person and still not look at me like it’s all that I am.”

“I know. It’s not who you are. It’s something that happened to you,” he murmurs in your ear, kissing your cheek chastely. “I would never change my opinion on you based on that.”

If anything, all your story does is cause him to have greater respect for you, not because you survived, because what other option did you have? No, it’s how selfless you are, putting your brother before yourself, choosing this career path over a million others that would have been much easier on you. Judging people based on what they had gone through is ridiculous. That tells you nothing about a person. It’s what they do in the aftermath of the things that happen to them that shows you who they are.

What was Rafael then, in the aftermath of the pain he had been caused?

He doesn’t want to think about that. Ugly things like that were better left unsaid. But eventually, he knows, you’d go there. You’d unravel the real reason why he was single, why he never asked anyone to marry him, why he was so scared to get close... but not yet. Tonight was about you.

“I need to get back out there, Rafael. I need to help those kids,” you say, your voice shaking.

“You will. You’re going to. But you need to know when to step back, (y/n). You’re going to burn out if you don’t,” he says softly.

Rafael still doesn’t feel like he’s doing enough; he feels like you need more than he’ll ever be able to give. And you’ve had to have been hurt in relationships in the past, Rafael knows how teenage boys are having been one himself. God, if he could smack his younger self in the face, he would, one thousand times over.

“I...I do agree that it wouldn’t be good for me to talk with the suspect. I’ll gladly leave that to the rest of the squad. But those kids? The parents? You know that no one is better suited for prepping them for court than me. Let me help you, then.”

“Okay,” he concedes. “But... I have conditions.”

“Naturally.”

He smirks a little, pecking your lips softly. “You’re right. No contact with the defendant. And you need to talk to Olivia first.”

“Rafael—“

“Don’t you want to get paid for this?” he says, smiling wryly. “It is work, you know.”

“You just want to make sure I’m cleared so it doesn’t come to bite you in the ass somehow.”

“Well, yes, of course. Olivia would find out that you helped. Also... you need to back away if it gets too much. I’ll send you home, too, if necessary.”

You sigh, nodding. “Fine. Agreed.”

“Okay. Now we’re done talking about it for the rest of the night.”

“Thank you, Rafael,” you say, looping your arms around his neck. “You’re a hard ass most of the time, but you really helped me today. You just see things so clearly.”

He helped you? He hoped so, that something he did got through, but he didn’t really believe anything could. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t emotionally drained, though, as he definitely wasn’t used his emotional support being needed this much.

“Listen...I’m not trying to rush anything either, but I just want you to know I’m glad I have you around,” you say softly.

“Me too,” he says, honestly, and it all feels so strange, letting someone use him to feel better. It felt good, though, to see you in a better mood, even though he doesn’t feel like he’s entirely the cause of that. Scotch certainly helps. Good food does, too. Solitary comforts, which Rafael knows too well. “Thank you for cooking.”

“You’re welcome. I should cook more often, really. Your blood pressure must be through the roof with all the takeout you eat.”

He squeezes your waist tighter, ignoring your comment, ignoring the fact that he might possibly need you too. You run your fingers through his hair, your nails scratching his scalp lightly, and you kiss him gently.

“Well, I got to clean the kitchen I destroyed,” you say.

“I’ll help,” he says, and you kiss him again. It’s gentle, too soft yet too much, and there’s something in your eyes when you pull away, something real, there, something he doesn’t quite recognize or understand at first. It aches, it pulls at heartstrings that maybe have never been touched before. It scares him, a little. What happened to you saying you didn't want to rush things?

For once, words fail him. All he can do is lean up, place his hand on the back of your neck, and kiss you again. He’s careful not to push too far, not to scare you off. You need someone willing to take his time; someone willing to give you his all. Was Rafael really that man? Was he really up for the job?

Maybe, he concedes, that was for you to decide, not himself.

You get off his lap and smile at him before starting to work on the floury mess caking his counter island.

Maybe it wasn’t so bad being needed, even if he hated the aching feeling in his chest he got when he saw you cry, hated how you still seemed like you were too much, too good for him. Part of him still hates you, what with your constantly flickering emotions and your snippy remarks that remind all too much of...himself.

But you needed him there. Who was he to refuse to oblige, even if it scared the shit out of him?

———

Rafael wins the case again. Maybe he should keep promising you guilty verdicts if every time he does it turns out that way. Or, more likely, promising you causes him to work ten times harder just so he doesn’t disappoint you. You did help him a lot this time, per Olivia’s gracious acceptance of your proposal to work more closely with Rafael on this case. She’d said it would be good for you, and it was. You’re not as elated as he hoped you’d be, but you’re probably sick to your stomach thinking about how those kids were going to live their lives now or if they’d get the support your own brother got. But it's certainly better than the alternative. At least that man won't see the light of day for a long while, if ever.

It’s just all very bittersweet.

The squad goes out for drinks, but they’re not rowdy like they can be. Instead, the atmosphere is sullen. This case hurt everyone differently, and everyone is wearing their pain to the bar in an attempt to drink it away. Everyone is especially generous to you - Nick and Sonny fight over covering your drinks and Olivia buys you dinner. Normally, he thinks, you would protest, but you need this right now, and you don't argue with them.

Eventually, though, being around them seems too much, and you head to sit at the bar by yourself. Amanda looks at Rafael pointedly after fifteen minutes of your absence passes. "Are you going to check on her, Barba? "

"What?"

"You heard me. Can you, please?"

The atmosphere is too tense to banter, so he just nods and makes his way over to you. "How are you doing?"

"Amanda's still trying to play matchmaker?" you say, smiling, but it doesn't quite meet your eyes.

"Evidently. But, I really do want to know how you're feeling."

You shrug your shoulders, turning to face him better. "I've been better. I'm just glad it's over. I’m actually going home for a bit,” you tell him. “I have a couple of vacation days to use, so I won’t be around.”

“Okay,” he says. “I hope your brother is doing well.”

“Yeah. Me too. And you know... I’ll make it up to you. I’m sorry for the distance I put between us, you know, earlier this week? I didn’t mean to, but this case—“

“You don’t need to apologize, (y/n),” he says, giving you a tight-lipped smile.

“Oh. I mean, I did feel bad, leaving you hanging like that. I just know when I get stressed like that I’m not good company.”

“You’re always good company, cariño,” he says quietly, and you reach under the table to squeeze his hand. Rafael doesn’t quite know what you need, and this may be too much, it may draw the attention of the squad - but they aren’t paying attention. Or, fuck it, if they were. He intertwines his fingers wtih yours, squeezing back gingerly.

“Charmer,” you tease, smiling sweetly, sneaking a glance at your hands. “But... Rafi, we are dating, right?”

“Is that what you need from me?”

“I mean, I’d like that. It’s been a couple of months, and we don’t hate each other... why not? We don’t have to tell the squad yet, but I think I might mention to my parents I’m seeing someone when I go up there. Is that okay?”

“That’s...fine, (y/n),” he says cautiously, feeling slightly guilty he never broached the subject with his mother. And god, he wasn’t ready to. Wasn’t this all too much too soon? What was he going to tell you, though? No?

“You might not think so, and I know you try to hide it by being an asshole sometimes, but you are a good man, Rafael.”

“I’m just doing my job.”

“Yeah, you say that, but I saw you up there, saw you fight for these kids... there’s a way to be a lawyer and not care about the people you represent. But you do care. And it's admirable."

"I wouldn't be able to do my job as well if I didn't care, (y/n). I'm not a saint. Don't make me out that way. This is how I make a living. I want to succeed at it."

"Oh, honey, won't you let me just give you a compliment?" you say, and you loosen your grip on his hand to rub his shoulder gently. "Nothing good ever comes from trying to deny your humanity. And there are far easier career paths you could've chosen if that's what you wanted to do. But you're not like that."

"How would you know?" Rafael says, harsher than he meant to.

"Okay," you murmur, wincing a little. "Why are you so intent on proving me wrong? You know what? Either...stop talking or leave."

"I'm sorry," he says, and he genuinely is. The last thing he wanted to do this week was kick you when you were already down - and here he is, doing exactly that. You deserve so much better.

You smile humorlessly, shaking your head. "I thought I made myself clear. Be quiet, Rafael."

Rafael nods awkwardly and takes a long sip from his scotch. And you surprise him after a few moments, by leaning against his shoulder. "I thought you were mad--"

"Shh, Rafi. Can you please just hold me?"

"Okay," he murmurs, and he presses a chaste kiss to your temple before putting his arm around your shoulders. Under normal circumstances, he never would have agreed, but he did just snap at you and the rest of the squad was stewing in their own feelings, hopefully too busy to notice what was happening between the two of you. And even if it did draw attention - it was easily explained away as nothing more than a friend leaning on a friend. He knows eventually you'll need to tell the squad, but for now, this was already too much.

But it was what you needed. So even though Rafael is beyond unsure - he's willing to oblige for now and see where this leads.

NEXT CHAPTER

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