#like what I used to do in the children’s museum as a kid

[moonstruck-stormy]

Choo choo! Mr Transport playing with its model train

[cipher-fresh]

💬 suffering-academy-student Follow

does anyone else wish u could regenerate but not change and not use up a regeneration. just like do a hard reboot

#i'm gonna call myself The Sufferer

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💫 constellationon-kasterborous Follow

what is it even like to not be a time lord do you like get impaled by rebar at 45 years old and just die. couldn't be me

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🚀 silvertraveller Follow

_____👶 timelordtoddler Follow

_____playing with a roentgen radioactive brick in the nursery rn

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🔉 gallifreyballifreyshmallifrey Follow

i love this website because its the only place you can say you have interfered with the natural flow of time and you won't get investigated by the CIA

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😉 winkles-wonderland Follow

who up lording they time

#no I don’t need to add any extra tags thanks I trust my audience will find it

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👦 theresponsibilityavoider Follow

I was skipping school hanging out in a clearing and some guy exited a portal from a CONFESSION DIAL 😭 and he was like “Go to the city. Find someone important. Tell them I’m back. Tell them, they know what they did. And I’m on my way. And if they ask you who I am, tell them ‘I came the long way round’” 😭😭😭 what the hell

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💬 oneofthegreathouse Follow

if you have a fetish for people being born through bodily reproductive systems KEEP IT TO YOURSELF!!!! nobody needs to see that on their dash

__♻️ callmeweaver Follow

__Ok Puriteen you need to get on my level. sexualize looms OR ELSE!!!!!

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💫 thecurator Follow

the high council of gallifrey: got some straight gas 🔥😛 this strain is called “the timeless child” 😳 you’ll be zonked out of your gourd 💯

Me: yeah whatever. I don’t feel shit.

5 minutes later: dude I swear I just saw some pre-Hartnell doctors

My buddy the Master pacing: the Time Lords are lying to us

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🏠 somegrandolgallifrey Follow

I heard some kid crying himself to sleep in a cabin. COULD not be me

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♾️ thatacademygraduate Follow

Went to a museum today! I saw a lot of really cool stuff but something I couldn’t stop thinking about was this horrifically busted up Type 40 TARDIS that literally looked like it was held together with duct tape, chewed gum and prayers ��‍💫😵‍💫 girl kill that thing I’m so sorry….

#i think it was even still alive. please put it out of its misery for the love of rassilon

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🥽 howsitgoinghowitgoes Follow

Bruh my best friend and I tried to play a prank on my brother but it went wrong and he hit his head so badly he REGENERATED i need to go into hiding

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😐 the-hybrid Follow

Who am I

#please for the love of god help me

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🔹 thetasigma Follow

Koschei and I skipped school today and went stargazing. We agreed to visit every single one together when we leave this stupid planet. I love them so much. We're going to be together forever.

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💭 siblingofkarn Follow

Why do I keep having nightmares about Gallifrey being destroyed in like 5 different ways, that could literally never happen

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🤖 pompousandstuffy Follow

I literally hate children soooo much like today some ninety year old tried to speak to me. KILL YOURSELF THIRTEEN TIMES ‼️

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👽 cheapandnastytraveltime Follow

For a Time Lord I have such a bad sense of time. if chamelon arches were real i would make myself literally any other species

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😍 starstartwinkletwinkle Follow

I have to stare into the untempered schism tomorrow. Any advice?

[alisonwritesimagines]

Birthweek ~BatFam Imagine~

Summary: It's your birthweek and your family celebrates it with you.

Author’s Note: In honor my birthday that has passed, here is a little imagine!

Reader’s Pronouns: She/Her

Warnings: fluff, mentions of smut in the end

Do not repost this anywhere!

Growing up, you had a birthday. Then after you began to date Bruce, you got a birthday weekend. Then when you and Bruce adopted your children, you got a birthweek.

Since you had adopted so many kids, they each wanted to do something special for you. So to be able to celebrate your birthday with almost each of them, they declared that the week of your birthday was to be celebrated with you.

"Happy birthweek my love," Bruce says, waking you up with kisses.

"Mmm. Thank you."

"Today is not my day thought unfortunately. Dick and Jason have the day with you," Bruce tells you.

"What about Martha?" You asked.

"The rest of us got her. You just enjoy the day with your first two sons," Bruce tells you. You smiled softly before kissing your husband.

You got dressed before heading downstairs where Jason and Dick were getting the table set up for you.

"Happy birthday mom," Dick says as he walked over to you. He kissed your head before going back to the kitchen.

"Happy birthday ma," Jason said, following Dick's actions.

"I thought you two were banned from the kitchen," you tell them.

"First surprise! Jason and I have been taking cooking lessons for you," Dick tells you.

"Really? Awe."

"Made you pancakes and some scramble eggs and bacon," Dick tells you.

"Where's Alfred?" You asked.

"We told him to take it easy till we go," Dick explained.

"And what plans do you boys have for me today?" You asked.

"Oh you're going to love it," Jason tells you.

The boys had taken you to a rage room. And to their shock, you had broken almost everything to tiny pieces. You walked out of the room with them with a smile.

"I just feel so much better. "

"I didn't know you had so much anger in you mom," Jason says.

"I'm married to Bruce Wayne. I have a lot of anger in me," you tell them.

"Guess we know where to take you every once in a while now," Dick said.

"I'd like that. Where should we go for lunch?" You asked.

"Anywhere you want! Out treat."

The next day, Duke, Tim, and Damien took you to a museum. You liked learning about history and living in one of the original 13 colonies, you enjoyed the museum with your three boys.

"I love learning about history. It's so fascinating," you tell your sons as you looked at some dinosaur bones.

"Me too," Tim said.

"Are you sure you're okay with this? We can always do something else," Duke tells you.

"Oh don't be silly. I want to do this. Dick and Jason took me to a rage room the other day. I'd like to do something calming," you tell them.

"Ummi, let's go look over here," Damien said as he lead you over to another room.

After the museum, you four had dinner at a rooftop restaurant.

"We saw this during patrol once and thought you'd like to eat here," Damien tells you.

"This is really nice. You boys have good taste," you tell him.

"Is Bruce planning on doing something big for you?" Duke asked me.

"I'm not sure. He's keeping his present a surprise," you tell him.

"Well, you deserve everything you want for your birthday," Tim tells you.

"Thank you boys."

"We also got you some presents," Damien said as he handed you a neatly wrapped present.

The following day, you, Stephanie, Cassandra, and Barbara had a spa day as well as a shopping day. Dick had dropped off Martha to you after your spa so you can take her shopping.

"It's nice to have a day with just us girls," you tell them.

"Happy birthday mom," Cassandra said as she hugged you.

"Thank you. I'm just glad I can hang out with my girls," you say as you held out a dress for Martha.

"Who gets you for tomorrow?" Stephanie asked you.

"Alfred and I are going to have lunch with Clark's parents tomorrow," you tell her.

You had grown close with Clark's parents as they didn't have powers like you and they knew what it was like to have someone they love as a superhero. On the plus side, they were kind and were always there for you. They even checked up on you when you were pregnant with Martha.

"That sounds fun."

"Yeah. We're taking the jet over to see them," you mention.

"Well, let's get you guys a cute outfit then," Stephanie says.

Alfred and you headed to the Kent farm where Clark's parents were happy to see you three.

"Happy birthday Y/n," Martha greeted.

"Thank you!"

"Oh let me see Martha," she says as she let out a small laugh. You handed your daughter over as the two Marthas smiled at each other.

"It's been a while since we had a baby running around here," Jonathan says as he cooed at the baby.

"Well, luckily we got one right here," you smiled.

"I think I remember hearing that you have a birthweek?" Martha asked you.

"The kids wanted to celebrate my birthday with me each so Bruce came up with the idea of celebrating a whole week so I can spend a day with a couple of kids leading up to my birthday," you tell her.

"That's nice. What does Bruce have planned for you?"

"I'm not sure. He always manages to surprise me," you say.

"Do you know Alfred?" Jonathan asked him.

"Yes. I know she will love it," Alfred answered.

"If you need a babysitter, we'd be glad to babysit," Martha tells you.

"I will keep that in mind," you laughed.

Finally it was Bruce's time to shine. You had woken up to see that you were on the Wayne private plane.

"Where are we going?" You asked.

"Well, I know you told me that you have been wanting to go back to Europe. So I thought, why don't we go back now? We got Martha a passport and the kids' passports are updated so I got the plan ready as well as the kids and we are on our way right now," Bruce tells you.

"Really?!"

"Yes. So no Batman duties for a whole week. Just us, the kids, and your birthday," Bruce tells you.

You gave him a quick kiss before relaxing with your children on the plane.

You had landed in France and went to the hotel first. The girls got you dressed in a beautiful gown before Bruce came in, dressed in a tux, ready to take you on a romantic dinner.

"You look beautiful," Bruce says in awe. You smile at him before holding his hand.

"I'm guessing a dinner date for just the two of us?" You asked.

"The kids have other plans so it will just be the two of us," Bruce tells you.

"What a shame," you joked.

The restaurant Bruce picked out was perfect. You had some good food and wine before Bruce took you on a stroll near the Eiffel Tower.

"There's one more present I'd like to give you," Bruce tells you.

"What is it?" You asked.

Bruce pulled out a medium sized box that had the most gorgeous necklace.

"I want to give you the world. You're my wife and the mother of my children. I want you to know how much I love you," Bruce tells you.

"You know actions speak louder than words," you remind him.

"That's why, I want to tell you that, every Friday night, I am all yours. No Batman duties. Just you and our children," Bruce says.

"Thank you," you say. You leaned up and kissed Bruce before pulling away. "I love you."

"And I love you," Bruce says with a soft smile.

"We have a separate room from the rest right?" You asked.

"Yes."

"And is Martha sleeping with one of the kids tonight?" You asked.

"She can. Why?"

"Well, it's been five months since Martha's been born and I sure have missed our time alone together in the bedroom," you tell Bruce. Bruce smiled down at you before giving you another kiss.

"Whatever the birthday girl wants, the birthday girl gets," Bruce said before holding your hand and leading you back to the hotel.

[chaotic-archaeologist]

https://nypost.com/2024/08/28/world-news/boy-4-accidentally-smashes-bronze-age-jar-that-was-at-least-3500-years-old/

Your thoughts?

Personally, I'm kinda sick of museums being required to cater to kids so much. If you're going to do this open air exhibit, kids who don't know how to keep their hands to themselves just shouldn't be allowed in. The glass is there for this very reason.

Actually, I'm with the museum on this one. Is it unfortunate that the vase was broken? Yes. Was the vase a valuable piece of the past? Also yes. But I think the museum did something very cool by not having the artifacts behind glass and are handling this with good grace and the sense to make this a learning opportunity.

Sometimes we overlook the fact that museums often attempt to arrest or freeze artifacts in time. They are kept in controlled conditions to prevent them from deteriorating and even treated to reverse damage. Many things on display on museums are elevated beyond their original value, alienated from their original purpose, and closed off from interaction.

It's incredible that this jar survived as long as it did—and its age is what makes it special—but at the end of the day, it is still a jar. It has now experienced the thing that happens to pretty much every jar that has been or will be. After all, decay is an extant form of life. (If you want to read a very well written and interesting take on decay and archaeology, check out this article by Caitlin DeSilvey.)

The article I linked above provides some important context and the update that the museum is planning on using this as an opportunity to teach about the conservation process. The jar's story is not over; it is being pieced back together and in this next chapter in its life it will be able to tell two stories: one of its life and the other of its rebirth. The museum's approach embraces that, exactly like the Japanese art of Kintsugi.

I also agree with the museum's decision not to punish the child or his family. Things go wrong in museums all the time despite their highly controlled environments, and this is why they have artifacts insured. Sometimes the thing that happens is a child, and by and large museums do not seek damages.

I would encourage you to rethink your stance on museums and children. Museums are for everyone. Children have a right to experience museums and what they have to offer just like anyone else. There are also many studies that discuss how going to museums benefits children.

In this case, perhaps the exhibit design was slightly flawed, but the four year old boy accidentally knocked the jar over because he was curious about what was inside and wanted to investigate. Curiosity is exactly what museums should be encouraging. In an ideal world that curiosity would have been channeled into some other kind of engagement, but the folks who work in museums have a lot on their plates and cannot plan everything perfectly all the time. Even if they could, they often do not have the resources to do so.

Finally, the AP article mentions that the boy and his family were visiting the museum to get away from Hezbollah rocket fire. Regardless of your opinions on the current conflict, everyone deserves to have a safe place to exist. That museums can serve as those spaces is an honor.

I commend the Hecht Museum and the people working there. They 1) successfully provided a place of learning and refuge, 2) opted not for a punitive approach—which is often the default Western model for justice—but a compassionate one, and 3) are using this twist of fate to create programming that will further engage the public.

@museeeuuuum and @museum-spaces would you care to comment?

-Reid

[mcflymemes]

ATLANTIS: THE LOST EMPIRE (2001) PROMPTS *  assorted dialogue from the film, adjust as necessary

it's been my experience when you hit bottom, the only place left to go is up.

i sleep in the nude.

about time someone hit him. i'm sorry it wasn't me.

i didn't say it was the smart thing, but it is the right thing.

i came down the chimney. ho ho ho.

we've done a lot of things we're not proud of. robbing graves, plundering tombs, double parking... but nobody got hurt.

maybe somebody got hurt, but nobody we knew.

will you look at the size of this? it's gotta be half a mile high at least.

our lives are remembered by the gifts we leave our children.

you're so skinny, if you turned sideways and stuck out your tongue, you'd look like a zipper.

hey look, i made a bridge.

as far as me goes, i just like to blow things up.

come on. tell the kid the truth.

does it match my dress?

it was like a sign from god.

i got your four basic food groups: beans, bacon, whiskey, and lard.

you have disturbed the dirt.

what have you done?

if you give back every stolen artifact from a museum, you'd be left with an empty building.

i gotta admit, i'm disappointed.

you ask too many questions!

who are you? who sent you?

do not be such a crybaby.

now tell me your story, my little friend.

trust me on this one. you don't wanna know.

if you're looking for the pony rides, they're back there.

what else have you got in there?

forget your jammies, [name]?

you're gonna want a pair of these.

i think we've seen how effective my decisions have been.

have i left anything out?

you did set the camp on fire and drop us down that big hole.

i took this job when my dad retired.

you are a scholar, are you not?

who told you that?

let's go over it again, just so we got it straight.

we're all gonna die.

someone needs to talk to that girl.

for the good of the mission, i will go!

tonight's supper will be baked beans. musical program to follow.

hey, i had nothing to do with it.

i'll have to quit my job.

you didn't just drink that, did you?

don't move, don't breathe, don't do anything...

carrots? why it it always carrots?

with something like that, i would have white wine.

we can't let him do this!

okay, now you can go.

how was my accent?

we are not thriving.

where are you going?

don't take no for an answer.

look, i have some questions for you, and i'm not leaving this city until they're answered.

somebody's gonna have to suck out this poison.

i thought you said he only had guns!

mercenary? i prefer the term "adventure capitalist."

do you wanna do my job? be my guest.

i'm gonna need you to fill these up.

thank god i lost my sense of taste years ago.

why don't you translate, and i'll wave the gun around.

this was not part of the plan.

you do swim, do you not?

your heart has softened.

you would have slain them on sight.

what they have to teach us, we have already learned.

something wrong with your neck?

so i guess this is how it ends? fine. you win.

get back! i've got soap, and i'm not afraid to use it!

look at all those tattoos!

i've got a bone to pick with you.

any last words?

i really wish i had a better idea than this.

i know i'm forgetting something.

you're the one who got us here.

you must've read it a dozen times by now.

sometimes i get a little carried away.

all will be well. be not afraid.

i hate fishing. i hate fish. hate the taste, hate the smell, hate all them little bones.

you will not regret this!

hard to believe he's still single.

can you drive a truck?

no time like the present.

i love it when we win.

you pick now of all times to grow a conscience?

[loumandforyou]

how I think want 70s-80s Devil's Minion is going to be (unpopular?). An essay, by me. (edit: apparently I do have to make it clear that these are all my own headcanons and I'm aware that they are not a healthy couple)

The "chase" lasts a couple of months instead of years

they start as the popular fucked up sex

Armand takes Daniel on a hunt, to show him how he plays with his food sometimes, how look I could be doing the same to you. But Daniel very loudly thinks fuck that's hot

Daniel starts picking up on how Armand behaves during sex (even how dissociates sometimes), since most of the time it's when and how Daniel wants (the normal thing for Armand). He starts checking on him more, like you sure, we can do something else // are you comfortable with that? // are you okay? it's just sex for them, sure, but there is this change.

but... they also start dating. once, for fun, they are curious. more dating. Dates are Armand using his mind gift so they have the restaurant by themselves. Taking Daniel to the top of a building so he can have the best view. Museums, galleries, movies...

And Armand brings him flowers, chocolates and poetry and Daniel playfully rolls his eyes and then giggles and kisses him and he even keeps the now dried flowers. Daniel returns the favour, and Armand looks at him as if he brought him the most exquisite and most expensive gift in the world.

Daniel makes Armand laugh for the first time (Armand smiles, smirks even grins, but he doesn't easily laugh) and Daniel realizes he is in love with him. He loves how Armand can be ruthless, cruel, cold with the humans he hunts before giving them an easeful death. He loves how excited with simple things like a phone, a microwave, a blender. How he lets his mask slip sometimes (more and more as time passes) and he sees the real him, the vulnerable side he rarely shows, the anger towards the world he thinks he doesn't deserve to feel.

Armand realises he is in love with Daniel earlier, in little moments, like how human Daniel is and how for the first time in centuries that is fascinating and not indifferent. And he loves Daniel because of how excited he is when he writes something or when he wants to read to Armand an interesting book/article/something he wrote, how clever he is, how he can be cold and compassionate at the same time...

And they talk about little and big things, from a good restaurant that Armand saw pass from generation to generation, to philosophy. And Armand reads Daniel's mind to see if his mind wanders and... Daniel is fully invested. Like I love getting to know you, how you think, what you think, who you are, tell me all about you. And Armand does. He tells Daniel the most.

they are in love and explore the world together and all its fascination and simplicity, and they are really happy.

but... Daniel doesn't want this to end, he wants to stay young forever, he wants to spend forever with Armand. How can't Armand see that this is not just because Daniel wants to be with him for eternity?

Armand sees how his own darkness but lure Daniel in... a bit too much. How he thinks that watching someone die and getting a life is the same thing, how he romanticises vampirism. How maybe he focuses on Armand a lot, and misses a deadline at work. A work that he loves. Maybe one day he catches a fleeting thought of Daniel wanting children someday. But he doesn't bring it up right away. He doesn't want to lose him. And he just can't understand how Daniel can love him unconditionally.

Then Daniel proposes to him in Paris. He has a ring and a romantic little speech to go along with it. But does it really mean he loves him? Or that he wants for Armand to make him a vampire? Isn't that what marriage is, after all, a promise of forever? How can Daniel just love him? So he says no.

Daniel is hurt, he is angry that Armand doesn't really trust his love and he tells him that yeah maybe he does want kids, a family, normality. And maybe a part of him does. They break up.

Daniel meets a girl, Alice. He doesn't fall in love, she doesn't really fall in love either, but they like each other. They get together. She gets pregnant.

Daniel needs Armand's blood (he needs Armand) but he can't have that, so he turns to his old comfort, drugs. It gets bad, he goes back to Armand, asking to get back together, asking for his blood, Armand says no and Daniel storms off to get his high somewhere else. He comes back a couple of days later, apologising and promising he won't ever do it again, he will really get clean this time. Again. And again. Until he comes very close to overdosing, and Armand takes care of him until he can actually go to a rehab facility, even though Daniel just begs him for his blood, to just turn him or let him die.

And this time, he knows what to do. Daniel can't have his normal life if Armand is still in his mind. So he just... erases it all. It's the only way. He couldn't see another way. And Daniel understands what Armand intends to do and he is crying, asking him not to do it, that he can get over this on his own, but Armand doesn't trust him, so he just tries to calm him down, telling him how great his life is going to be, with a brilliant career, a family... happiness. An easeful breakup.

thank you for coming to my ted talk

[feverdreamjohnny]

The Epitaph of Anything Goes

I decided that this morning I would talk about The Museum of Anything Goes and the subject of lost media.

For the uninitiated, The Museum of Anything Goes is an obscure "game" released in 1995 by Wayzata Technologies, a company that is so far under the radar that I was unable to find any useful information about it outside of TMoAG.

All I could uncover is that they published a few multimedia projects (which are essentially lost now) alongside some asset discs (clipart, SFX, etc.). That's it.

The brains behind Wayzata are even more difficult to locate these days: there are only two main names credited inside of TMoAG - Michael Markowski and Maxwell S. Robertson.

The game alleges that Michael and Maxwell are well known in the art world, but any additional information about the duo is scarce beyond the confines of the museum. Attempting to search for either name online turns up plenty of rabbit holes - but none of them have anything to do with the Michael and Maxwell responsible for TMoAG.

This is particularly fascinating because it essentially means that TMoAG is the only accessible record of their lives. Before we dig any deeper into that statement, let me step back and actually address what this game is.

The Museum of Anything Goes is, by definition, a virtual art museum. Functionally it's a prerendered point-and-click adventure game where you can explore a bunch of multimedia exhibits that give the surface-level impression of a children's edutainment game, but once you start exploring further it reveals a side that firmly plants the game's feet into a haze of substance abuse and surreal humor.

Many exhibits are essentially just toying around with the astonishing new powers of CD-ROM. Everything has to make noise. Everything has to spin and flitter around. There's an air of genuine excitement for the medium, and I can't help but find it extremely charming.

The game also functions as a scrapbook, filled to the brim with photos of random trips to the zoo and snow-mobile rides with friends. At one point we even get insight into something as specific as Michael's one-year job as a tutor at a Chicago middle school, where he talks about how it opened his eyes to how poorly funded and mismanaged the school system is.

It's simultaneously quaint and chilling to see so much personal history packed into a world doomed to obscurity. As I explore the deeper parts of the museum, I contemplate if the creators are still alive today. It's a bit morbid, but imagine that - you create a single obscure game with your friend and it's all the world can see. TMoAG is currently the only surviving piece that gives any insight into who these two men were.

While many exhibits are lighthearted or nonsensical, there are occasional moments where the game dips into the eerie.

One exhibit has the player kill a man by dropping him from the sky, and after burying him you open the coffin to a video of a rotting pig carcass being put into an incinerator.

Other exhibits just feature simple 3D renders shifting around a dark screen while haunting groans play in the background.

While I would never refer to the game as "scary," its darker moments combined with the occasional mature subject matter definitely begs the question: Who is this game for?

You have to remember that this game came out long before the concept of "alt-games" had become codified in the digital space. Sure, unconventional digital art had been around before the advent of 256 colors, but TMoAG was being sold on disk as a game! It came out 2 years after DOOM hit shelves!

The trend of using the PC for entertainment was certainly on the upswing around that time, but It's not like TMoAG had a massive audience to find a niche in. With its mature themes it certainly wasn't suited for the kids market either, so who was it for?

At the end of the day, it's a moot question. We already know the target audience for The Museum of Anything Goes: Nobody. It doesn't have an audience because by its nature, TMoAG wasn't being made FOR someone, it was being made BY someone. It's a raw, unfiltered form of personal expression.

I think games like these are pivotal, because they question why people assume a game has to exist for the sake of being a consumable product. TMoAG certainly has the shape of a product: it features an intro cutscene, it has a tutorial, it features intuitive UX, it even has a map! These are all features that are solely integrated to provide comfort to an end-user. But once you actually wander around the museum for a bit, you realize how bizarrely its packaging fits its contents.

I think TMoAG is criminally underrated. It's not because its core content contains some earth-shaking truth, it's because the game defied all odds and cheated death.

How many thousands of other personal projects were deemed a little "too exotic" to be archived? How much history was lost these past 40 years as the digital space evolved and ate its old skin?

God knows how many other TMoAGs we'll never learn about because they weren't lucky enough to be preserved.

The Museum of Anything Goes isn't just some nonsensical art piece, it's a grave marker for so much lost media. Its existence is a reminder that some people's lives were fossilized, then macerated into nothing because a construction company built a skyscraper over them. The only evidence we have of those other games existing is this little fossil that somehow slipped out from under the skyscraper unscathed.

Even though so much has been lost, TMoAG survives as an epitaph.

[thatnonameuser]

You said something about Azul's darling having children healing his childhood trauma. ANGST WARNING!! AND BULLYING!

This gave me an idea, he was bullied for being slow and different from other kids from the original plot. In this yandere au, that can be twisted into how he's such a loser, he'll probably never be good enough for a darling to accept him. He's so fat, not even a kind and pitiful darling, would want him. How the other mers think he's so stupid that he'd fumble trying to catch his darling and that they'll just be claimed by another, cooler, yandere. Laughing at him all the while so and flexing how their wonderful talents and skills would be enough to steal away a darling's heart, unlike him.

I can imagine how much this'll break his self esteem and brand him as a "weak yandere" to the other fishies. Azul would strive to be the opposite of all this, he would plan to take away their special abilities to "win a darling over" and make it his own, as his unique magic forms through sheer spite. He's so jaded and the thoughts of not being good enough to have a darling still ingrained in him. He probably won't fall in love with MC until after his overblot. Having the internal belief that, no darling would want a loser like him.. He probably won't care that MC is a darling at first and is just planning to use her as leverage against the other yanderes. Hence, taking over her only place to live. It benefits him as well since he'll be able to open another branch of the Mostro lounge and attract the other yanderes.

But then something changes. MC does something while they are inside the blot space. He realizes that.. she sees more in him than anyone ever had. Even if MC says so only in passing cause she's reasonably pissed- He can't help but focus on those specific words, ignoring the rest of her rant. Suddenly, he feels whole, and he knows she doesn't want to share this feeling with anyone. Suddenly...

He's already drafting a contract after their visit in the coral sea museum, giggling to himself as he marks that day their first date....

I hope you find this idea as interesting as I did!! I love Azul 😁

I really love asks for the yandereverse, because there are so many ways that the charas’ backstories can change. Azul’s bullying making him insecure when it comes to his darling is perfect, and it kind of works with how the Coral Sea sees yanderes and darlings. I also love Azul, I love me an evil mafia man.

The Coral Sea is an anti-darling rights area, so yanderes have more freedom to do what they want in order to take their darlings for themselves. And yanderes are supposed to be strong and tough, how else do they keep their darlings safe and with them? The kids of the Coral Sea know that well. 

And Azul wasn’t that. He was slow, and weak and a scaredy-catfish crybaby who hid inside a pot. HE was supposed to be a yandere? That was genuinely surprising to nearly all his former classmates. And they made sure he knew that. Their teasing was relentless….

‘Are you sure they weren’t wrong? You’re not supposed to be slow and stupid if you’re like us.’

‘He’ll probably lose his darling.’

‘I’d hate to be them, he’s so fat and icky.’

….And at the same time they rub salt into the wound. After all, they’re fast and strong and smart and talented and good looking. They’ll get their darlings no problem, while he will be left alone and broken hearted watching his darling being with someone else. All the bullying broke him down over a while, he started to think it was right. 

But despite all the bullying, Azul still tries his hardest to stop being the weak yandere his peers deemed him as. And in a form of vengeance, he’ll take away the special abilities they shoved in his face to remind him how inferior he was, After all, the yanderes that bullied him have their own insecurities that they want to hide from their darlings, so he’ll take their very best away to make himself better for his future darling. He’ll make himself better so that whoever he falls for won’t have to be disgusted by him. (While making his bullies as disgusting to their darlings as they said he’d be .)

But… He just can’t forget the years of bullying ingrained into him. What darling would want him? What darling would love him when he’s just a dim-witted octopus? That denial blinds him up till when he finally meets you. 

Once he’s aware of you being a darling he sees the opportunity, not love. (Because he doesn’t deserve you, so why bother?). After all, what would all your yanderes do or pay to have you for themselves? No price is too high when it comes to a darling, and so, getting you under his thumb is his first priority. Getting you out of Ramshackle and under his control/ownership will make this so much easier. But there’s one big problem. 

You won’t sign his contracts. You told him you’d rather never go home than sign one. I imagine after that point, he starts trying to find loopholes to get you to sign. And your friends are his best bet. So he tricks Ace, Deuce and Grim into being indebted to him, so that you’ll feel obligated to help them. But that didn’t work, because (to be honest, you’re grateful for the alone time) you just let them be stuck in a contract with him. Fortunately, Crowley got involved and you had to go into a contract with him. 

But unfortunately, instead of accepting his offer to stay at Octavinelle till the time limit was up, you proceeded to stay over in Savanaclaw. He’d never been more angry before in his life. The idea of you sleeping with and doing seven-only-knows with those beasts never made him more jealous. The smell of Leona Kingscholar on your skin made him want to add onto the debt the prince owed in vengeance. 

But not wanting to spoil anything more, in the blot space your attempts to pull him out of his self-loathing, change him. He sees that you care about him, that you don’t think he’s a not a stupid, ugly octopus and that instead you see him as something more. Someone who’s hardworking, intelligent, and even cute. And that moment, he truly realizes his love for you. You’re not like the others, you see something in him that no one ever had before. He doesn’t get that you’re saying it only for the sake of your, and maybe a little of his, life. Those words echo in his head. You love him, all his bullies were wrong, his darling isn’t disgusted by him. He feels whole….

…..And he doesn’t want to share this feeling. This complete joy.

He needs you to be his. He’ll draft another contract, one intended to make sure no one else will ever be able to steal you from him and ensure you’ll be by his side, on the land and in the sea. The museum will be like a date to him, hearing your kind words about his childhood appearance makes that younger self cry with joy.

You, quite literally, became the center of his world. And he intends to hold that same place as he becomes a part of your world. Whether you like it or not.

[5five5five5five5five5five]

Grace / the nannies / pogo somehow managing to get Reginald to rent out a children's museum for the evening just once when the kids are like 5-6 (maybe for their birthday). They needed something to get all their energy out.

Five and Viktor in a big plastic fake tree reading books and then going to the fake supermarket, where Luther and Allison are playing house and forced Ben to be their kid. Ben wants to go to the theater where Klaus has put on a one kid retelling of the ugly duckling with no audience.

Baby Diego is either clinging to grace for dear life and not knowing what to do........or has made it his mission to sneak around and throw something at each sibling without getting caught. Five and Viktor are the hardest targets bc they have cooped themselves up in the tree.

Diego also sneaking off because he wants to play in the water zone but the adults told him not to. He comes back sopping wet but very happy. An adult has to get him changed.

Klaus comes out of the theater costume zone dressed to the nines and proclaims himself mayor of hargreeves-ville. No one listens. Five will be the only one to call him mayor for the rest of the evening. But not respect said title.

Luther ends up playing in the"boring" science kid zone for a while well Allison and Ben join Klaus in the theater.

Diego ends up in the tree but he very dangerously climbed up on it. He's stuck. No one notices till Klaus screams, causing everyone to try and get him down.

Five and Viktor end up in the theater. Viktor plays with the instruments well five becomes a butthole director to everyone. Klaus isn't having fun anymore and runs to the supermarket.

Most of them end up in the fake supermarket and have a big group play, assigning jobs and trying to actually get along. It goes as well as u would think. Klaus can't stop beep scanning things and annoying everyone with it. Five ends up enjoying fake arguing like a Karen too much and it genuinely starts to get on Allison's nerves along with the beeping. "I heard a rumor everyone was quiet!!" Then dead silence. Allison feels bad but let's it stay for a few seconds longer before "I heard a rumor that you guys could talk again~" she gives five a weak smile, hoping he doesn't explode. five gives her the biggest scowl and maybe even some tears. I think five HATES being rumored. Ends up running away from the whole thing.

Viktor has a bit too much fun going "should I get this one....ooor this one" it's two of the same toy steaks. He asks five witch one then ben. Both say the left. He gets the right.

Ben is the "manager" and is hating his existence. He ends up enjoying stocking the shelves and ignoring everything around him. Probably took a audio book cassette player from the reading tree and has been blocking everything out. Also him using his tentacles to sort things.

Luther was still in the science zone and bumps into a very upset five. ever the number 1 caring bro , Luther tries his best to comfort him. They end up away from everyone to play in a big fake rocket ship. Viktor eventually joins, holding a shopping bag with his lone toy steak in it.

Diego and Klaus end up doing arts and crafts and get covered in glitter.

They all end the day covered in glitter, wet, probably covered in stickers and marker. They need to be sneaked into the house so hargreeves doesn't see and quick to the baths (the security got it and the nannies and pogo got a ear full later) they were clean as a whistle by the time dinner rolls around.

They never have an outing like that again and barely remember it.

[autisticandroids]

i've been seeing ai takes that i actually agree with and have been saying for months get notes so i want to throw my hat into the ring.

so i think there are two main distinct problems with "ai," which exist kind of in opposition to each other. the first happens when ai is good at what it's supposed to do, and the second happens when it's bad at it.

the first is well-exemplified by ai visual art. now, there are a lot of arguments about the quality of ai visual art, about how it's soulless, or cliche, or whatever, and to those i say: do you think ai art is going to be replacing monet and picasso? do you think those pieces are going in museums? no. they are going to be replacing soulless dreck like corporate logos, the sprites for low-rent edugames, and book covers with that stupid cartoon art style made in canva. the kind of art that everyone thinks of as soulless and worthless anyway. the kind of art that keeps people with art degrees actually employed.

this is a problem of automation. while ai art certainly has its flaws and failings, the main issue with it is that it's good enough to replace crap art that no one does by choice. which is a problem of capitalism. in a society where people don't have to sell their labor to survive, machines performing labor more efficiently so humans don't have to is a boon! this is i think more obviously true for, like, manufacturing than for art - nobody wants to be the guy putting eyelets in shoes all day, and everybody needs shoes, whereas a lot of people want to draw their whole lives, and nobody needs visual art (not the way they need shoes) - but i think that it's still true that in a perfect world, ai art would be a net boon, because giving people without the skill to actually draw the ability to visualize the things they see inside their head is... good? wider access to beauty and the ability to create it is good? it's not necessary, it's not vital, but it is cool. the issue is that we live in a society where that also takes food out of people's mouths.

but the second problem is the much scarier one, imo, and it's what happens when ai is bad. in the current discourse, that's exemplified by chatgpt and other large language models. as much hand-wringing as there has been about chatgpt replacing writers, it's much worse at imitating human-written text than, say, midjourney is at imitating human-made art. it can imitate style well, which means that it can successfully replace text that has no meaningful semantic content - cover letters, online ads, clickbait articles, the kind of stuff that says nothing and exists to exist. but because it can't evaluate what's true, or even keep straight what it said thirty seconds ago, it can't meaningfully replace a human writer. it will honestly probably never be able to unless they change how they train it, because the way LLMs work is so antithetical to how language and writing actually works.

the issue is that people think it can. which means they use it to do stuff it's not equipped for. at best, what you end up with is a lot of very poorly written children's books selling on amazon for $3. this is a shitty scam, but is mostly harmless. the behind the bastards episode on this has a pretty solid description of what that looks like right now, although they also do a lot of pretty pointless fearmongering about the death of art and the death of media literacy and saving the children. (incidentally, the "comics" described demonstrate the ways in which ai art has the same weaknesses as ai text - both are incapable of consistency or narrative. it's just that visual art doesn't necessarily need those things to be useful as art, and text (often) does). like, overall, the existence of these kids book scams are bad? but they're a gnat bite.

to find the worst case scenario of LLM misuse, you don't even have to leave the amazon kindle section. you don't even have to stop looking at scam books. all you have to do is change from looking at kids books to foraging guides. i'm not exaggerating when i say that in terms of texts whose factuality has direct consequences, foraging guides are up there with building safety regulations. if a foraging guide has incorrect information in it, people who use that foraging guide will die. that's all there is to it. there is no antidote to amanita phalloides poisoning, only supportive care, and even if you survive, you will need a liver transplant.

the problem here is that sometimes it's important for text to be factually accurate. openart isn't marketed as photographic software, and even though people do use it to lie, they have also been using photoshop to do that for decades, and before that it was scissors and paintbrushes. chatgpt and its ilk are sometimes marketed as fact-finding software, search engine assistants and writing assistants. and this is dangerous. because while people have been lying intentionally for decades, the level of misinformation potentially provided by chatgpt is unprecedented. and then there are people like the foraging book scammers who aren't lying on purpose, but rather not caring about the truth content of their output. obviously this happens in real life - the kids book scam i mentioned earlier is just an update of a non-ai scam involving ghostwriters - but it's much easier to pull off, and unlike lying for personal gain, which will always happen no matter how difficult it is, lying out of laziness is motivated by, well, the ease of the lie.* if it takes fifteen minutes and a chatgpt account to pump out fake foraging books for a quick buck, people will do it.

*also part of this is how easy it is to make things look like high effort professional content - people who are lying out of laziness often do it in ways that are obviously identifiable, and LLMs might make it easier to pass basic professionalism scans.

and honestly i don't think LLMs are the biggest problem that machine learning/ai creates here. while the ai foraging books are, well, really, really bad, most of the problem content generated by chatgpt is more on the level of scam children's books. the entire time that the internet has been shitting itself about ai art and LLM's i've been pulling my hair out about the kinds of priorities people have, because corporations have been using ai to sort the resumes of job applicants for years, and it turns out the ai is racist. there are all sorts of ways machine learning algorithms have been integrated into daily life over the past decade: predictive policing, self-driving cars, and even the youtube algorithm. and all of these are much more dangerous (in most cases) than chatgpt. it makes me insane that just because ai art and LLMs happen to touch on things that most internet users are familiar with the working of, people are freaking out about it because it's the death of art or whatever, when they should have been freaking out about the robot telling the cops to kick people's faces in.

(not to mention the environmental impact of all this crap.)

[gweninred]

sleeping

melissa schemmenti x reader

I’m kind of embarrassed to post this but whatever 😭 it’s just some fluff

“Melissa! Did you bring your baseball stick?” You pulled the object out of her bag. You were on a field trip to the museum were you had to stay the night with the kids. “What? It might come in handy!” You quickly put it back before any of the kids sees it. “I told you not to bring it!” You whisper yelled at your girlfriend. “Gosh, hon, whatever.” She sighs, pulling out the air mattress for both of you.

While you helped one of your third grade students Melissa called out your name. “Honey?” You finished helping the kid. “Yeah?” You walked up to her side looking down at the air mattress, seeing its a single bed instead of for two people. “Are you serious?” You giggled looping your arm around Melissa’s, practically hugging her arm. “I thought I got the right one.” She kissed the side of your head. During work you both liked to keep things professional, even though everyone knew about your relationship. But after this long day you both were getting a little clingy. Now you also had to sleep on a single air mattress. “You are one goofball!” You laughed at the redhead. Poking her side, a squeal from her mouth. “Don’t! You know I’m ticklish!” You poked her side again. “That’s your punishment!” You both giggled, your girlfriend removing herself from your grasp to escape your tickles.

“Ms. Schemmenti? One of her students pulled her hand. “Yes, kid?” Her smile softened and she slipped back into teacher mode. “You promised to read us a bed time story.” Melissa pulled a book from her bag. Then took her a students hand in hers to walk back the group of children, already laying comfortably in their sleeping bags. She sat down and began reading the book.

While Melissa was reading to her students you checked on your group, seeing most of them already asleep. A few quietly chatting with each other. You grabbed your pyjamas and went to the bathroom to change.

“They’re finally asleep.” A familiar raspy voice filled the room as the door opened. You looked at the redhead through the mirror, you were taking off your make-up. “Mh, I’m pretty tired too.” Melissa wrapped her arms around your waist, pulling you close. A few wet kisses were placed on the back of your neck.

Then the door opened, Ava barged in. “You weren’t about to do anything freaky in here, right?” Melissa pulled away from you. The principal cheered, placing a bag of skincare on the bathroom counter. “Ava! What do you think?” You playfully hit her arm. “I’m just making sure!” You brushed your teeth. “I don’t know about you guys but I’m going to bed.” You spoke, you patted Melissa butt before leaving the two woman.

When you had gotten comfy in bed, almost asleep you felt Melissa’s hand stroking a few strands of hair from your forehead. “You awake?” She whispered, you opened your eyes. “Mhm.” You hummed. You opened the blanket and opened your arms for her. She gladly accepted the invitation and scooted by your side. Due the small bed you were both laying on your sides, facing each other. Melissa’s hand draped around waist, legs tangled together and your bodies flush against each other. You kissed her, stroking her fire red hair. “This is cozy.” She whispered, not trying to wake up de kids. You hummed once again, enjoying the company. Your hand moved down to her back, rubbing it up and down lightly with your finger tips. You moved your head in the crook of her neck. Her scent filling your nose trills. “Sleep tight, love.”

[ivystoryweaver]

im so interested in what u think the moon boys would be like as dads???

Ohhhhh, this is gonna hurt my heart. In a good way. I have a lot of feelings about Moon Dads and I've not yet written fics about it so yeah...

I'm gonna jump right in with Marc.

I think if Marc had a child, he would be all in: attentive, tender, affectionate.

I don't actually believe Marc would be afraid of parenting. I know that can be a popular hc/fic plot and I totally understand why, and love reading those.

But I think Marc would be one of those people that would try to do the opposite of what was done to him. Example: his parents were married and that went well... (sarcasm)

Yet Marc got married. He and Layla were together for years and, according to her, had "adventures together", meaning they worked as a (likely successful) team. Marc bailed on Layla once his mom passed and he could no longer control or hide his disassociations (plus Khonshu's threats for Layla to be his next avatar).

Point being: Marc did get married and seemed pretty successful at it, for the most part.

Marc is in charge of bath time. This includes little toy boats, fish that squirt water, bubbles. He's going to wash their hair, or whatever hair needs they have, depending on race and hair types. If it is a hair type he isn't as familiar with, he is going to be talking to his partner, looking up vids, whatever it takes. Touch is going to be so important to him. He is the dad who will know how to do french braids or styles for textured hair.

He's never going to react in anger. If he is angry, he's going to hand the reins to Steven or sometimes Jake (if he is able, it's obviously not a parlor trick), or he will just say to his little one, "Daddy is going to take a time out. I'll be back in a minute and we can have a talk." The idea of putting himself in time out is so endearing to his child that they end up calming from whatever misbehavior they were attempting, wanting to join him in the corner for time out, touching a plushie or reading a book in his lap.

They learn very young that their father's expressions can be stern but his hands are safe. They will not want to disappoint him.

☾ ⋆*･��:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

Steven can converse naturally with children, this we see in the first episode. Steven's open, engaging nature is great for children. His own childlike wonder will shine in fatherhood. He was also able to quickly redirect the behavior of the girl who was littering at the museum. So a spunky child in a doctor's office waiting room will be easily wrangled by a distracting toy, quick game or wonderful story.

Steven is your go-to guy for bedtime stories. With a young child, Steven will share how wondrous the world around them is. He'll always have a anecdote or a fun fact for tweens or teens.

He will offer choices. "Do you want to put on 'jammies now or after a story?" "Do you want to help Dad set the table or feed the cat?" Steven has lacked agency in his life, so he is going to give it to his child. He will teach them to speak up for their needs.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

Jake is going to be such a little shit as a dad. I'm sorry but there is no nicer way to say it lol. Jake's used to operating in the background and he's a night owl. He's the fun dad. He's the "don't tell mom" dad (or don't tell dad, dad). Kid wants stay up 15 extra minutes? It's Jake that's gonna sneak them some of the popcorn he popped after they were supposed to be asleep. As a partner, you'd find your little one on Jake's knee in the most comfy chair, watching the Yankees play baseball.

You give them The Look™ and they know they are busted. They exchange guilty glances and then Jake starts repeating words in Spanish. Baseball, Popcorn, very good! If you are already all Spanish speakers then Jake pretends to be practicing in both Spanish and English.

Either way, he and his little twin, with their adorable curls, give you shit eating grins.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

Moon Knight Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Askbox

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

This is an admittedly random ask, but since you've been getting asks about Camilla, I'm jumping in with: what do you think about Carole, and the unflattering way the media portrays her?

Also, I have this completely speculative theory that, had Catherine not married William, she would have turned her focus and her considerable talents for branding and visual communication on Party Pieces at some point, and the company would still be active and successful today. That brings me to the second random question, do you think the Middletons are better off as the PoW's in-laws or rather have they paid a heavy price for supporting W&K?

I like Carole. She's just a mum who worked hard and gave her kids great lives. She's like the Reba theme song: a mom who works too hard, loves her kids and never stops, with gentle hands and the heart of a fighter. Only her ex didn't leave her for his ditzy blonde dental hygeniest, she wasn't single, her eldest daughter wasn't a teenage mother.

The press needed a villain in William and Kate's relationship to sensationalize their stories for profit. They couldn't cast Camilla in the role because William and Kate didn't really associate with her. But they did hang out often with the Middletons, so Carole it was, and the press used her as their foil to an otherwise innocent, normal, and boring love story. Minus the whole "future king of England" bit.

I agree that Kate would've worked at Party Pieces in marketing or advertising if William wasn't in the picture I don't think it would've been her full-time job. I think it would've been more of a part-time hobby, while her actual job would've been something more creative - maybe something in museums or in fashion (like a British Jenna Lyons-type) since that seemed to be her trajectory before things got serious with William.

I don't think Party Pieces would've remained successful today if Kate was involved. The company was starting to struggle before the pandemic and the pandemic just really accelerated things. And to be completely honest, I think Party Pieces had been struggling for a good long while in the late '00s and the '10s as more competitors flooded the marketplace and the internet amde international commerce easier. I feel that Kate's relationship with William definitely injected some much-needed support and attention into Party Pieces (who wouldn't want to buy party supplies from the future king's future mother-in-law?) and if Kate wasn't with William, Carole and Mike probably would've sold Party Pieces much earlier.

And yes, the Middletons have paid a price for Kate's relationship with William but frankly, I don't think they care. Mike and Carole love their kids and would do anything for them so supporting Kate, and supporting William, wasn't a difficult choice if/when they saw how much she loved him. If Mike and Carole had to do it all over again, they would probably make the same choices. (Most of them - maybe Carole wouldn't chew gum at William's Sandhurst passing out ceremony because the press really villanized her for that.)

For Mike and Carole, the good in supporting their daughter's relationship (her happiness, an adoring son-in-law, beautiful grandchildren, the privileges of being adjacent to the BRF, etc.) far outweighs the bad (press fodder and privacy invasion). A lot of parents would make the same sacrifices for their children in the exact same half-a-heartbeat that the Middletons did.

For me, the Middletons navigated being royal in-laws superbly, creating a brand new role in the BRF, and one that seems here to stay. No complaints here.

[recreationalfanfics]

Twisted Night At The Museum HCs/Thoughts/Concepts:

These are brain farts but ya'll are making me feel like I have the biggest brain so-

- If the Daley! Reader had a Unique Magic it'd be: "Alive for the Night" where basically any statues on display and stuff can come to life. Including the ones of the Great Seven but they can only do it at night. (Idk if you guys want them to have it or not, ya'll can fight about it in the notes)

- The Daley! Reader was also adopted by Larry after Nicky moved out and became a DJ, Larry is still a super protective father whose very anxious and is looking through various museum archives to figure out if something can be done about his child whose stuck in Twisted Wonderland. He requires you to check the mirror and talk to him at least 4 times a day to know you're alright and if you miss a time, YOU BETTER HAVE A GOOD EXCUSE-

- No but parent teacher conferences and you have to hold the mirror so that your teachers can talk to Larry through it.

Larry Daley + His Relationship with the Staff:

- Crowley: No, he's been in this game long enough to know that Crowley isn't trustworthy and while you KNOW he isn't trust worthy, he is the reason that Larry wants you to check in 4 times a day. Crowley tries to paint it like everything is fine and Larry pretends to believe him. Crowley is just a bit off put by Larry because you're already such an odd and resourceful individual, that he can't imagine what your father (the man who raised you) must be like and while he laughs whenever Larry promises to bring you home, Crowley slowly starts to believe him. Like, bro, he deals with a magic tablet and brought a family of old Egyptian pharaohs together, Larry Daley is getting his child back.

- Crewel is the only man in this school that Larry trusts, along with Trein, but Larry does notice that Crewel seems a lot more concerned with your safety and has a soft spot for you. Crewel will also give Larry due respect and while he's not sure about his bland outfit choices, he's very much aware that your father loves and is worried for you and so, Crewel will make sure you are well behaved and taken care off until you're able to reunite. It's bittersweet for him because he does grow to get attatched to you but soon realizes that he's never gonna be your father back home. (SPLIT CUSTODY IS ALL I'M GONNA SAY).

- Vargas: Larry hates him so much. Like in the movies, he's always snarky and closed off from people he dislikes so their conversations are always so passive aggressive. Like, Vargas is all: "Ha, no wonder you look so wimpy! Look at your dad!" and Larry is all: "First of all, they're adopted (but still my kid) so neither of us can really say anything but second of all, I went face to face with a triceratops, so, yeah. Not sure if they have those in your world, but thats pretty impressive." and Vargas just brushes him off and he HATES IT.

- Next is Trein, who is like a strict grandpa to you and one of the other teachers who get along with Larry. As a father himself, he admires Larry trying to protect you as best as he can while he's in a different world, and he couldn't imagine what it would be like if his own children where stranded in a place he couldn't protect them in. So yeah, while your dad is awkward, Trein tries to help him out and ease both his and your anxieties. I also can totally see Dexter the Cappuchin Monkey and Lucius fighting across the mirror.

- Sam is one that Larry doesn't see to often aside from Larry trying to find old spells in old archives that require magical ingredients that he doesn't know about so he'll ask Sam about them or see if he can find any suitable substitutes and Sam will do it of course, for a fee. He really admires your dad's dedication but he also admires the relationship and bond you two have. Yeah, you might come into his shop to rant about how protective he is and some other flaws but you love him dearly. Sometimes he'll throw in a few freebies because at the end of the day, you two just want to be with each other again.

NOW LET'S TALK ABOUT SOME STUDENTS AND HOW I FEEL LIKE INTERACTIONS WITH THEM WOULD GO.

Now back to some general headcanons:

- Okay so have you guys seen the Stuart Little movies? Where he has a bunch of ladders and stuff around the room because he's small and can't get to places faster, thats kinda what you have to do for Jedediah and Octavius. They sleep on your nightstand after Deuce and Jack either made tiny beds for them or you made them in a wood work class or something.

- I can also totally see that after the first winter break, your first year friends bring back some old childhood toys that maybe Jedediah and Octavius can use to help or to help them travel faster around the campus.

- Deuce brought back an old remote controlled Magic Wheel (the motorcycle thing he likes) and gave it to them so not only can they ride around in style but they also have a tendency to drive recklessly and trip over poor unsuspecting students who are just trying to walk to their class. They'll do it especially if they mess with you.

- Ace brings them back like, tiny weapons from his old toy soldiers and stuff and while they might not do much, he just thinks its so funny how serious Octavius is when he's all: "Thank you, Child of Trappola, for I now have an arsenal to defend Fort Ramshackle!" and Jedediah rolling his eyes.

- You try to keep them on higher ground, especially due to the rats but I love the idea that when you're away on classes and you trust them not to do anything stupid, they're riding around on Grim and throwing toy spears at any rats running around and defending their home. Like to them, it's an intense battle where they could possibly die but to the ghosts, it looks like they're just annoying the rats that they eventually just give up and leave because they're so annoying and rambunctious.

- Out of all of your friends, they like to use Jack as a mode of transportation. After all, he's HUGE and when they sit on his shoulders, they're absolutely amazed by how much they can see. Jack tries his best to remember they're on his shoulders but if a class is really boring and he forgets, he'll lean on one shoulder which causes them to lose balance and almost fall but hed got quick reflexes and apologizes to them.

- THE WAY EPEL AND THEM WOULD GET ALONG. Like, Epel will walk in all roughed up because he got into a fight and walk past you to rant to Jedediah and Octavius and talk about how some kids were picking on him for being cute and little and Jed and Oct are all: "YA BETTER HAVE SHOWN 'EM THAT WHAT FOR!" and Epel is all: "COURSE I DID!" and you just sigh because you know that Vil is gonna ask to keep Epel away from your "little raggedy friends".

- BELIEVE IT OR NOT, SEBEK ACTUALLY RESPECTS YOUR LITTLE CREW. Especially after he finds out you want to be a Night Gaurd and mistakes your words and believes that you come from a family of noble gaurdians who keep the ancient relics of your world safe (which is kinda true but its not that dramatic) and when he sees you defend yourself with a mere flashlight, you become his idol.

- IN NIGHT OF THE MUSEUM TWO, THERE'S THIS SCENE THAT FITS PERFECTLY WITH YOU AND SEBEK FIRST MEETING, HERE'S THE LINK BUT GO TO 1:57 BUT THAT'S HOW I IMAGINE YOUR FIRST MEETING WITH SEBEK GOES.

You, whispering as your faces are squished together: "Listen, fae boy, you do not know who you're dealing with. I've seen things in my world, stuff you can't even imagine."

Sebek, whispering back: "Like what kind of stuff?"

You: "I'm not gonna tell you, but you're gonna drop your sword-"

Sebek: "The way you said it just made it sound like you were gonna say something really cool-"

You: "Yeah, you don't get to hear it, drop the sword-"

- OKAY BUT YOU BEING DEEMED THE NIGHT GAURD OF NIGHT RAVEN COLLEGE. Like idk, maybe you don't need as much sleep as everyone or during weekends, you just hibernate and then survive on naps and energy drinks throughout the week (it's such an unhealthy habit, all of the Dorm Leaders are concerned and Vil might trick you into drinking a sleeping potion if your eyebags get too prominent) but I love the idea that the bullying rates go down. Hell, even the Savanahclaw dorm kids don't try to start with as many fights with you around because they know you'll finish them with your flashlight. Like they're all cornering you and you blind one of them temporarily before you do some cool fighting moves. Your quick wit and training as a night gaurd is the only thing you've got to give you an edge in this world and by God are you gonna use it.

-And even if that fails you, you've got friends who've got your back. Like you get cornered by some bullies and then they feel something stab their feet and Jed and Octavius are bravely stabbing their shoes and the students are hopping around in pain.

- But yeah, the Night Gaurd in you just makes you walks around Night Raven College and look at all the various statues and history and you read and do your research on Twisted Wonderland.

- Like in the first movie, the thing Larry did after his first wild night at the museum was do research and by God, do you dedicate yourself to doing research on Twisted Wonderland and the study of magic.

- ALSO MALLEUS JOINING YOU DURING YOUR LATE NIGHT PATROLS OF YOUR SCHOOL GROUNDS and telling you everything there is to know about the magic here. You know how Ahkmenrah calls Larry "Gaurdian of Brooklyn"? I feel like instead of Child of Man, Malleus would call you "Gaurdian of the Night" because you tell him that's your dad's job and you want to fill in his shoes.

- MALLEUS AND SEBEK TRYING TO GET YOU TO JOIN HIS GAURDS BUT YOUR DUTY IS TO EVERYONE BUT HE'S ALL: "You know, just in case you might have to stay for longer, there will always be a spot in my court for you. As either my gaurd or my spouse-"

- "What was that last part?"

- "What?"

Feel Free to Send in any Thoughts/Asks/or Questions about this AU!

[mysteryshoptls]

SSR Trey Clover - Platinum Jacket Vignette

"Happy 100th Anniversary"

[Land of Dawning – National Museum of Art]

Trey: It's pretty fascinating how all these anecdotes that I grew up with are displayed on all these paintings.

Trey: Just as I'd expect from an art museum that's reaching it's 100th year.

Trey: Oh hey, this painting… It has some card soldiers on it. Heh, I feel like I can understand these guys a little bit.

???: Oh, right, all you Heartslabyul guys do the same kind of thing, don't you?

Leona: What's even the point of painting the roses a different color? As someone who cares not an ounce about flowers, I don't get it at all.

Trey: Hey now, Leona, don't say that. It's not done for any specific reason, it's just one of the laws of our dorm.

Trey: Also, I don't really think the card soldiers changed the colors of the roses just for a change of scenery, though.

Trey: They say that the Queen they served loved red roses. They were probably just trying to please her, right?

Trey: But still… painting the roses, huh. I remember there was a bit of trouble with that when I first enrolled here.

Leona: Oho? What kind of trouble could the super pacifist Trey Clover possibly cause?

Trey: It wasn't any big deal. When we were first years, Cater and I were responsible for painting the roses, you see…

Trey: And we mistakenly painted some roses white when they were supposed to be red. That's really it.

Trey: Well, to be fair, the mistake wasn't really our fault, but the fault of our upperclassmen who told us the wrong thing.

Trey: But when the mistake was discovered and the Housewarden at the time asked who caused it… Those upperclassmen placed the blame squarely on our shoulders.

Trey: As punishment, Cater and I were made to leave the dorm for a whole day. That really grinded my gears.

Leona: You say that, but you got some stupid grin on your face. You don't look too angry about it.

Trey: Well, yeah… That'd be because Cater and I put together a plan to get them back.

Leona: So you two schemed something up, huh. You might look gentle and mild-mannered, but I guess there's a reason the Dark Mirror called you.

Trey: We didn't do anything that crazy. I just changed the flavor of those upperclassmen's cake to something a little more invigorating at the next dorm party.

Trey: See, it wasn't anything more than just a silly kid's prank, right? …Well, I had a bit of a hard time after that, though.

Trey: A HARD TIME CONCEALING MY LAUGHTER AS THOSE UPPERCLASSMEN CRIED ABOUT HOW SPICY IT WAS, THAT IS.

Leona: Hahah, how terrifying.

Leona: Well, Cater is one thing… But I see that even someone like you, who's stuck always pacifying that hot-headed Riddle, had an incident like that.

Trey: I mean, isn't that how all the new first years here are like? They're all mischief-makers and rambunctious.

Trey: Even our current first years are way too excitable and are always causing problems, so I sure wasn't an exception.

Trey: Eventually, they'll get used to this school and their dorm, get underclassmen of their own, and even find rivals in other dormitories…

Trey: And step by step, they'll mature into good card soldiers. At least, our Heartslabyul students will.

Trey: Just like we all did.

[Land of Dawning – National Museum of Art]

Trey: This painting is, let's see… a depiction of "the fairies gifting magic in celebration of the birth of a princess in a certain country."

Trey: The princess herself isn't drawn, but I'm sure she's in the bed that these ladies are peering into.

Trey: But is this actually the scene where they are gifting their presents…? It just looks to me like they're chattering away aimlessly…

Leona: Maybe it's just as you say? They look to me like a bunch of carefree types.

Trey: I'd refute that, but… Well, it's hard to know what actually is true in the stories passed down, I guess.

Trey: Speaking of birthday celebrations and fairies…

Trey: Have you ever heard of the saying that "fairies are born from the laughter of children," Leona?

Leona: Sounds like a tall tale for kids. Never heard of that in my country.

Trey: It's actually a pretty popular myth in the Queendom of Roses.

Trey: Back home, whenever a child is born, that family would bake cakes and gift them to everyone they knew.

Trey: The cupcakes made then are called "fairy cakes," as a nod to that tale.

Leona: Fairy cakes, huh. I can taste the sickly-sweet flavor on my tongue just from the name alone.

Trey: Hahaha… Shoulda known you of all people wouldn't say there was a bit of romanticism in that.

Trey: But that takes me back. I remember when my sister was born, I helped my parents bake a cake, too.

Trey: I was only 4 years old, and didn't really know how to make anything yet, but I did what I could to help.

Trey: We set out the finished cake on a table in our yard, and ate it with family and our neighbors…

Trey: That cake we ate then under the blue sky tasted even better than any other cake I'd ever had.

Trey: And on top of that, all the adults were praising me, saying how "amazing" and "well done" my cake was…

Leona: Can't think there'd be any adult who'd tell a 4-year-old that the cake they made was terrible, though.

Trey: Yeah, absolutely. In fact, when I went back and looked at the pictures of the cake I made back then, it was actually pretty terrible.

Trey: But I took those compliments to heart.

Trey: Because yeah, after that day, I would join them in the kitchen to help bake cakes.

Trey: But truthfully, I would make a mess of the flour just trying to make one layer of the sponge for the cakes, or snag a taste of a few of the cut fruits here and there...

Trey: I'm sure I was a huge bother for my parents, who were trying to work.

Leona: How adorable. You got all excited just from a little flattery. Sounds completely different than the way you are now.

Trey: Please, kids are all like that. Especially me, I was the type that would even climb trees just from the slightest dare.

Trey: I'm really not any different now, either. I'm completely different from you, Leona. I'm just a plain and simple guy.

[Land of Dawning – National Museum of Art]

Leona: Seems like this is a painting of when the Sorcerer of the Sands got a hold of the magic lamp.

Trey: So, this is the legendary magic lamp, hm. It's a lot smaller than I was expecting… It looks like a teapot made for only one person.

Leona: You know… That kind of response really only shows how shallow your thoughts are. Is that all that comes to mind when you look at a painting showing a scene from that very famous tale?

Leona: This was the lamp that he went through so much and finally got his hands on. Even someone like him, who embodied the spirit of deliberation, might be drowning in absolute elation in this very moment―

Leona: …Or whatever. Anyway, you should read more from this painting than just the size of the lamp, is all.

Trey: Ahaha… I'm just no good at interpreting the actual story behind the art, just from looking at the painting.

Trey: But, based on what you just said, it makes it sound like even someone as great as him, who's left his mark on history, has a human side, huh.

Leona: Even the greats were just people… Although from I remember, he wasn't a human in the end, but a genie.

Trey: That's right, he became a genie in order to overcome the limitation and weakness of a human body. He certainly dreamed big.

Trey: Overcoming weaknesses, huh… If only I could have done that, just as the Sorcerer of the Sands did.

Leona: Huh? Why're you just gazing off into the distance all a sudden?

Trey: Oh, I was just thinking back to how I've recently been running myself ragged trying to overcome this one food I dislike.

Leona: If you don't like it, then just don't eat it. Is it really anything to really overcome?

Trey: Of course it is. Like see, you know how all of the sandwiches and meat dishes in the cafeteria come already covered in that one condiment?

Trey: …I'm talking about mustard. It's tedious for both me and the chef when I have to ask each time for them to remove it, you know?

Trey: Sure, there's a lot of different ways to hide the taste, but I feel it's rude to the chef to change the flavor of something they so painstakingly made.

Trey: That's why I tried so many different ways to overcome my dislike of it, hoping that it would solve everything.

Trey: Every time I made my own dinner in my dorm, I'd add mustard to every dish…

Trey: For about one week or so, I made sure to eat at least one dish each day with mustard in it.

Trey: IN THE END, I EVEN TRIED PUTTING IT IN THE CAKE.

Leona: Well, you sure created a strange, new cake there. So, was it even edible?

Trey: I didn't eat it, so I don't know. My dormmates stopped me, so I wasn't able to actually add it to the cake.

Trey: And so, when they stopped me there, I finally came to a realization.

Trey: If I still can't eat it after all this effort, I should just give up. It isn't something that's going to have a huge impact on my life, after all.

Leona: Hah, took you a while.

Trey: Hahaha… I thought so too.

Trey: Seems like I'm the type where once I start something, I get a little wrapped up in it… This incident really got me reflecting on that habit.

Trey: But hey, thanks to all of that, I can at least eat mustard if it's just there for a bit of flavoring.

Leona: Well, good for you, then. All that continuous mustard eating turned out to be not completely pointless.

Leona: Anyway… All that talk made me thirsty. I'm takin' a break from all this. Bye.

Trey: Okay, see you. …Never thought I'd see the day that Leona would even hold a conversation with me like this. I wonder if it'll rain candy tomorrow or something.

Trey: Alright, next I think I'll go check out one of the paintings of the Great Seven I haven't seen yet… Ooh wait, this one―

Trey: Whenever I see this painting, I always think of "that guy." He's got the same kind of hard-to-read expression on his face.

Trey: I remember back in the day where I'd play along with his pranks and we'd cause a little bit of mischief for people who asked us for directions on the street.

Trey: "Which way ought you go from here? Well, that depends a good deal on where you want to get to!" ―And the like.  

Requested by Anonymous.

[bestiarium]

Kuha and Rati, the twin sorceresses [Rapa Nui mythology]

Rapa Nui legend tells of a pair of twin sorceresses with the ability to trade their human appearance for that of animals:

once upon a time, long ago, a couple lived on the mythical landmass of Hiva, which supposedly existed northwest of Easter Island but has disappeared beneath the waves long ago. They had twin daughters, one with chestnut coloured hair and the other with blonde hair. The girls were named Kuha and Rati. They lived with their parents, who taught them powerful magic and strange spells, including a transformation spell to turn themselves into animals. When the girls were 30, Kuha complained to her sister that the female villagers greatly outnumbered the men in their village, so she proposed that the two sisters should transform themselves into animals and go far away in search of a husband.

And so the twins cast a spell on themselves and turned into fish. They swam to Puna Vai in Tahiti, but could not find a suitable husband there. So Kuha hatched another plan: this time, they would transform into a pair of birds to seek a man! Like the first time, her sister readily agreed and the two girls cast another spell, this time becoming birds. After a long journey, the two arrived at Te Pito ‘O te Henua and turned back into humans. On their way to Papa Mahina, they met a very handsome young man with his hands painted red. He had seen the arrival of the two birds and had witnessed their magical transformation into a pair of human women. The girls asked him their name: ‘I am Ure’, he replied. Then the girls asked him what he was doing there, when he happened to see their transformation. ‘I was here because I was thinking’, he said. Then the women both proposed to him. ‘Ure, please become our husband’, they asked him.

But the man was hesitant. ‘Ayee!’ he yelled, ‘I cannot possibly have two wives! And I don’t even know where you two came from. You might be flesh-eating Aku-Aku spirits for all I know!’

So the twins introduced themselves and explained why they had come. Ure accepted them into his home, where he lived with his father, and Kuha and Rati went to live with them for a while. As time passed, their infatuation for Ure did not fade, and eventually he agreed to marry them both.

But Ure’s house was too small for the entire family (especially because Kuha and Rati hoped to have many kids) so they moved to Hanga Rau to build a home. The years went by and Ure and his two wives had many children. They lived together for many happy years, but one day Kuha and Rati called their husband.

‘We have to talk about something, oh dear husband’, they said, ‘though we have lived here with you for many years, it is time for us to return to Hiva, the land our parents came from, and we will never return. You must tell our children, and you must craft a portrait of us, so you will not forget us.’ Though saddened by the news, Ure respected the wish of his wives and did what they asked of him. The twins then chanted a magic spell and transformed into birds once more, flew away and never returned.

Sources:

Sebastian Englert and Te Pou Huke, 2001, Legends of Easter Island, Anthropological Museum of Easter Island, 291 pp., p.103-107, p.286.

Lee, G. and Ika, K., 1999, Petroglyphs and Legends of Rapa Nui, Rapa Nui Journal, 13 (3), p.114-118.

(image: locally known as ‘Dos Caras’, these abstract Rapa Nui petroglyphs depict the twin sorceresses. The tiny figure in the top left corner is thought to depict one of their children. Image source: Lee and Ika, 1999.)