#like we WANTED parents. but that parent or those parents didn't want us
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I feel like the reason why it's so prominent now is that contrary to older generations, we grew up watching movies and series where we saw how our life could have been; kind and loving parents, welcoming and safe house, toys, friends and fun. So we grew up waiting to feel like in those movies, to have our own experience of playing board games with smiling parents and siblings in a cozy, well decorated house in winter, or to go to a fun and exciting summer camp where we make lifetime friends and learn to be more confident. But instead a lot of us came into adulthood without experiencing any of this and now that we're not kids anymore it's forever too late. And no matter how much you try to recreate it in adulthood by getting everything you dreamed of or making yourself the coziest home, it will never cure that feeling of being robbed and denied by everyone around you when all you wanted was a seemingly normal life that we all grew up watching daily on our screens. Especially when as adults you see how easy it could have been to have lived this way and it only accentuate the feeling that you were just a burden to your parents and you didn't matter enough for them to give you the memories and love you dreamed of.
When everyone seems to have a damaged, unhappy "inner child," it is time to examine and change the treatment of children on a massive scale.
#I remember that I was used to abuse and didn't even question it until I saw how other kids were treated#But seeing how it could have been especially in fictional settings were everything seemed so perfect it really made me desire something mor#And the longing for something I could not have hurt way more than anything that ever happened to me
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childhood sweetheart material
oh my god!!! it's finally here, i made sure to change the posting settings this time!! i know it's not a bakery request but i've been writing them and i have a bunch in my drafts, i've got my sister editing them for me and hopefully one will be out soon... but for now enjoy my lovely's <3
pairing; carlos sainz jr x childhood best friend viviana martinez [original character]
blurb; this is a list of cute things childhood friend turned husband carlos sainz jr and his childhood friend turned wife viviana martinez do in my smau series that i'm working on called since we were eighteen, this story features a original character but for your reading pleasure, i've used 'you' and 'y/n' in this little snippet <3
currently playing; everything has changed by taylor swift ft ed sheeran "cause all i know is we said, "hello" and your eyes look like comin' home, all i know is a simple name and everything has changed, all i know is you held the door, you'll be mine and i'll be yours, all i know since yesterday is everything has changed"
from day one, you were the one;
your families have been friends for the longest time and while carlos was born a few years before you, you've been friends since you could babble at eachother
carlos can in fact still remember meeting you for the very first time, how tiny you were and his mother still has the photo of three year old carlos kissing your forehead but her personal favorite was one of you two falling asleep on eachother in the backseat of a car when she was dropping you off after a play-date
and so the years kept passing;
as years go by, you and carlos slowly begin to drift apart pursuing different careers and life goals, you knew from a young a age that you loved carlos but didn't realize it was in the romantic way until far later in life
during your teenage years, your parents thought you two were dating and no matter how much your denied it, they never believed you but that was probably due to the platonic to you both kisses you would place on eachothers cheeks or foreheads
when you were nineteen and about to move away and not see carlos for the next four to five years, not that you knew that at the time, you'd begged him to be your first time, it was one of those cliche moments of not wanting to go to college a virgin but he turned you down, saying he didn't want to ruin what you had, what a joke that seemed like now
when you two were young, around the ages of fourteen and eleven, you joked about marrying eachother one day, you even made a contract about how if you were still single after you'd turned twenty two that you'd tie the knot with eachother but as you grew apart, that contract was long forgotten about
coming back to eachother;
you found eachother again at a family reunion, you'd arrived early and got talking with his mother, catching up about life when she brought out old photo albums and low and behold at the back of the album was a paper or contract that you'd long forgotten had existed
you'd been sipping a drink in the garden when you heard the familiar voice, you'd gotten to talking when the topic of relationships came up and you discovered the both of you were single
you joked about tying the knot but he joked back about taking him to dinner first, which you did for giggles but you just fell in love with talking to eachother and began to meet up more often which eventually led to confessed feelings that had been hidden for too long, this left the rest as history
telling your families;
you were both nervous to say the least, your parents had been friends since they themselves were children, little did either of you know both of your sisters had already started to notice the change between you, the little stares and stolen glances but they had noticed it too late.. about three years too late in fact
the two of you had been planning to tell them sooner but you didn't want to give them false hope in case you broke up but you began to like the privacy and how it was just the two of you and before you knew, the two of you were approaching your three year anniversary
it was actually at your anniversary dinner that carlos proposed, you had both just stepped off a twelve hour flight and decided that instead of going out you'd get pizza
carlos thought there would be no better time than when you both sat on the couch eating pizza in comfy clothes to propose, you however almost lost it, you knew your answer was yes but instead of saying the first words out of your mouth were "you let me do this sweatpants" [if you've seen this video, i love you]
it was a week later at the traditional joint family dinner when everyone found out, your younger sister basically screaming her head off when she saw the ring on your finger as you reached for your wine glass
"what is that!" she squealed to which you winced in return and carlos chuckled, your mother looked betrayed as she too just now noticed the ring adorning your finger "when did that happen, i didn't even know you were seeing someone" she asked flabbergasted.
"does this mean you and carlos aren't together" your youngest sister had asked, she was only ten but loved carlos so much, you and carlos shared a knowing look before he shrugged his shoulders and leaned over to kiss you... that set off a frenzy among your family members
when it comes to work;
you work as an actress in horror / thriller films but you absolutely hate being scared, your the biggest wuss carlos knows but his favorite thing about your job is that he has a video on his phone of when one of your cast-mates scared the shit out of you and you screamed like the scream queen that you are
you often come home from set covered in fake blood to which carlos can't help but panic every time thinking your injured before he catches his breath and then helps you wipe it all off but not without you covering him in fake blood first
carlos quite often comes to your photo-shoots and one time the photographer wasn't happy with how the photos were working out, said that their was no real chemistry between you and the male model you had been working with and so he called a break during which you hung out with carlos, sitting in his lap and just enjoying eachothers company when the photographer caught sight of you both and it was like a light bulb went off in his head, that was the birth of the photo you had forever pinned to your instagram account
carlos always insisted on watching your movies, no matter how often you told him he didn't need to you would still come home to find him curled up on the couch with pinon as he pointed and mumbled "there's our girl" in his rough tired voice
your not afraid to show your support to carlos at his races either, attending as a long lost but now returned childhood friend at first but then eventually as his girlfriend and then wife but nobody knew that
while lando was basically carlos's best friend, to you he was your paddock child and you never let him forget it either
one of carlos's favorite things about your job was getting to see you in the gorgeous red carpet dresses, you would always show him and if he happened to be off racing, you'd facetime him instead, he loved being able to zip them up and feel your warm skin as he did it, his favorite dress was this one:
you were honestly carlos's biggest fan and without both his and his fans knowledge, you'd started an account on instagram where you posted the most outrageous things about him like this: which is one of your more tame posts btw
whenever carlos wins a race, gets on the podium or just no matter what place he gets, your wrapping your arms around him as soon as you can and whispering in his ear "i'm so proud of you mi sol"
kisses + cuddles;
there's different kinds of cuddles when it comes to yours and carlos's relationship, these include;
straddled cuddles were your sitting in his lap and wrapped around him, there is nothing sexual about it, just the two of you enjoying eachothers company
hugs from behind no matter where you are, in the motor-home or even the supermarket, carlos just likes to be holding you
and your personal favorite is when he's so exhausted and turns into the little spoon
and finally there's just this;
and then there's all the different kinds of kisses you two share
there's shoulder kisses most of which occur when carlos is hugging you from behind but they also happen in the early morning when carlos is awake and your still asleep but he just feels the need to kiss you in some way
thigh kisses, he loves to kiss your thighs and not just in the sexual way which he does indeed enjoy giving you but it also happens when he's laying in your hold with his head half in your lap and half resting on your legs
then there's the tippy toe kisses, the height difference between you and carlos was adorable but you often have to either stand on your tip toes or wear heels in order just to kiss him
then there's the kisses that you place all over his face after race cause no matter what place he comes, your always so happy for him and just need him to know how much you love him
then there's the kisses you have to tug at his shirt in order to give to him
there's the one where your kissing in bed, not in a sexual way but the 'i've missed you' loving way that has you rolling around and giggling, never wanting the kisses to end
and finally there's the kisses that both of you moaning in-between, it's these ones that normally led to your sexual encounters with eachother
touches and intimate moments;
you two have a habit of one of you two laying in bed, watching the other change in the morning or after a shower, you once said you trusted no one like how you trusted carlos and that's why you let him watch you change
then there's the times when either of you come home either from work or a race, so you sit behind eachother and gently massage the others shoulders
if your ever in the way which carlos says that you never are, he'll hook his fingers into your belt loops and gently scoot you out the way
carlos is the kind of boyfriend where if your too tired to move at the end of the day or after an event, he'll sit and gently wash your makeup from your face while your falling asleep
during the races that happen in colder countries, your often caught on camera pulling carlos close to hug him in order to warm up
your also often caught on camera walking through the paddock together with carlos's hand tucked into the back pocket of your jeans if you happen to be wearing them
and then one of your favorite things about your relationship was taking baths with carlos after a long day, feeling his body pressing against your own just brought you a sense of comfort and peace
dates [of sorts];
one of your favorite dates or even just times that you spend together is having pancake wars; where you two always try to one up eachother with your pancake recipes
whenever you guys go out for dinner, carlos always makes sure to give you the first bite of his food just in case you want to switch meals like you sometimes did
you would also often bring him lunch and end half the time end up staying so that you could eat together
he'll also sit and read you poetry late at night from your favorite poetry books
whenever you guys stay home and have date night in, carlos will often hover over your shoulder and wait to taste test the meal your cooking
then there are the museum dates you guys go on, art museums in particular have always been a part of your love for italian and spanish culture, a fan once took a photo of you and carlos in a museum where he was holding you up so that you could take photos of some of your favorite works of art
and finally and personally carlos's favorite was whenever you two went out for gelato, carlos loved the stuff and you loved taking photos of him
the little things;
just a list of all the little things that you and carlos do slash remember about eachother
your carlos's lock screen and he's yours
he wears your hair ties on his wrist and carries period products in his travel bag just in case you need them in an emergency
he always messages you when your filming to make sure that you've been eating and drinking
the two of you know eachothers routines off by heart, like when he comes home from a morning run, you'll have the shower running and waiting for him
you have a love of classic literature and you often come home to find that he's deep cleaned your bookshelves
you take care of him when he's sick
he'd been whimpering and complaining of a sore throat all day, after a while you'd had enough so you decided to call his mother and ask what she once did when he was sick as a child, when you brought carlos a mug of manzanilla or homemade chamomile tea explaining you'd gotten the recipe from his mother, carlos knew right then and there that he was going to marry you
he once gifted you a stuffed bear and a bottle of his cologne for your birthday so that you had something to cuddle when he was gone and the cologne was for when you missed his smell.. he had to comfort you when you started crying
he loves knowing that you wear his shirts to bed, reminds him that your his
and finally with all the button ups that carlos wears, you often find yourself sewing buttons back onto them, carlos once found you on the couch furiously sewing buttons back onto around ten or so shirts that you'd discovered while doing the washing
no one touches the hair except for you;
when your bored, you often end up begging carlos to let you braid his hair... it's always a yes because ever since childhood, he could never say no to you
you also love to laugh at how messy and fluffed up his hair gets in the morning, the first time you'd seen it you burst out laughing which caused him to blush
down and dirty;
while not going to into detail, here's a list of some of the things you and carlos do in bed
carlos loves eating you out, as mentioned beforehand when discussing his love for giving you thigh kisses
another obvious one was the fact that carlos loved having his pulled during sex
then there's the guided grinding, where his hands gripped at your hips while grinding you down against him
carlos's favorite position to take you in is doggy and no, i personally think there's no explanation needed
carlos has a thing for choking too, you in fact introduced him to it
and finally while it not's something you explore very regularly, you also share a spitting kink
the wedding;
it's been described by friends and family as the most beautiful wedding they'd ever attended, there are photos in the wedding album of you and carlos shoving cake in eachothers faces and instead of a three course meal, you both served pizza at your wedding instead
nicknames;
your nicknames for carlos include; mi sol [my sun] mi vida [my life] papi and mi amor [my love]
carlos called you his wife all the time, including long before you two were married
his nicknames for you include; my wife, mi vida, mi amor and corazón [heart]
aesthetic playlist;
a list of songs that describe you, carlos and your relationship
young and beautiful by lana del ray
boyfriend by ariana grande ft social house
just friends by why don't we
we can't be friends [wait for your love] by ariana grande
never be the same by camila cabello
lay all your love on me by abba
senorita by shawn mendes ft camila cabello
older by isabel larosa
money money money by abba
too sweet by hozier
everything has changed by taylor swift ft ed sheeran [taylor's version]
teenager in love by madison beer
me gustas tu by manu chao
more songs like this can be found on their official playlist
and finally;
this is just how i picture you'd reveal your relationship to the public
movies.with.y/n
movies.with.y/n; my heart always knew it'd be you @ carlossainz55
#formula one#formula 1#formula one fanfiction#carlos sainz smut#carlos sainz x reader#carlos sainz smau#carlos sainz jr x reader#f1 x reader#f1 social media au#f1 fanfiction#f1 x you
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Take I haven't seen in the fandom yet:
Luka doesn't want to be freed.
"Now, MirrorCatCreditcard," you may say, "that's nonsense. Any human would want freedom from that system."
If you're thinking I'm gonna convince you that Luka doesn't know he wants freedom yet, you're wrong. I'm here to talk about indoctrination/conditioning, grooming/emotional manipulation, my own experience with those topics, and how all of the above connects with Luka as a character. If a deep dive like this is too much for you, please tap out for your own sake.
Luka's life was planned before he even existed. There has never ever been an alternative option. There is no life for Luka as anything but what Herperu chose. Everything in his life has been planned to have him be the perfect pet human idol. That is what he must be.
Fandom, I don't think most of you actually understand this and have dissected what this means (shout-out to the Luka stans who are getting there/have guessed similar things). These words we know have alternatives and are not set in stone are Luka's "gravity makes rain fall to the earth" and "water makes things wet." They are facts so deeply ingrained within him that even if shown the contrary he remarks that the person showing them is just disillusioned.
Take his commentary on Mizi and Hyun-A in the art book. He looks down on Mizi for not being able to control any of her emotions. How does he talk about Hyun-A? He has her at 70% affection yet shows a patronizing attitude—she's the one in denial at reality.
Now, how did we get here? How is a human so "delusional" and set in the control?
He's been conditioned.
Some of you don't know what I mean by this from experience and/or research, and count yourself fortunate that you don't. I pray you never experience such things firsthand. Don't worry about ignorance. Familiar or not, I will explain.
When you are surrounded by only one truth and reality, that is the way you interpret life. If a parent tells a child "the moon goes to sleep during the day," until the child learns otherwise, that's what they believe. Now take that child-like belief and add some toxic environments to the mix. With time, any other kid would learn that the earth rotates from their peers or adults around them. But if the creatures around them all say and believe the same thing "the moon goes to sleep during the day," then that is what the child continues to believe. Years of that same thing being the only truth make that false knowledge into a fact in the person's head, and everything that supports that fact is taken as truth or on the right path to truth.
"This is kinda silly though," you guys are no doubt murmuring, "All of this is a hypothetical. Give us something that makes sense or that someone could actually see happen in our society."
I'll give you my own experience then. My parents taught me that God is real. My parents taught me that I will be damned I do not follow the commandments of the scriptures. I didn't need to worry though. As long as I was obedient to the God who loved me and wanted what was best, I would be saved despite being born an awful sinful human. I was homeschooled, only interacted with people of similar beliefs, and taught that people too different from me in ideology or with radical beliefs against my own were trying to harm me and my family. I believed the people who raised me because why would people who love me lie to me? My task was simple. I needed to obey God and love everyone, especially them. Love meant giving up my entire being and living only as servant and sacrifice. After all, being selfless to the utmost was the greatest form of love.
Let's go back to Luka. His guardian, Herperu, when questioned about any surprises while training Luka, stated not only that he was the one who endured the "tough moments" but also that "(Luka) owes his success to me, and naturally, he should be grateful." This sentiment is echoed by Luka in his interview (shown on Patreon). My god, it's giving parents with disabled kids who brag on social media about how much trouble their kid is and how much they do for them. Sickening. This shows exactly what environment Luka has lived in though.
When you are manipulated into having something as your reality, everything else is fiction and delusion.
Let's review what exactly is Luka's reality.
Heperu is the one suffering if Luka has any difficulties being obedient.
Gratitude is what Herperu is owed because he goes through so much trouble to make Luka a star.
Love/care is shown by owning another's autonomy.
Emotions and bodily reactions exist, sure, but someone should be able to control them; and if they can't, someone should control those reactions for them.
Segyein are superior and the good ones for dealing with humans. Humans must be disciplined and shaped to how an segyein wants it to act to be considered deserving of this goodness.
(Luka)'s perfection is defined by his guardian.
Luka's life is directly connected to being the perfect performer. His guardian praises his abilities with the statement that no other pet human will ever be as perfect as him yet leaves an underlying threat saying that it will be no good if a pet is not trained properly. This has probably been mentally (if not physically) beaten into Luka's mind: his greatness doesn't stop him from being able to be disposed of. The human instinct to want to live has been explained to him as Heperu's wish for him to live and that has been further distorted as a duty to live for the stage he has been placed on.
Luka believes fully that there is a debt in play here. In his interview, he mentions repaying love. He thinks the relationship between fan and idol is completely normal, encouraged, and healthy. Performance is the most important thing. Being where he is is a privilege.
There's a chain here:
Heperu indoctrinated Luka into believing what he says is all true.
The guardian manipulated him easily to do what he wanted with his body and mind.
The years have been spent constantly conditioning Luka to be the god who encapsulated fantasies for the audience.
He is continually being groomed to exist for the entertainment and enjoyment of segyein.
Circle back to my first point of this post. Luka does not want to be freed. He doesn't know what freedom actually is. He sees freedom as either foolish denials of reality (and doesn't consider that actual freedom) or as controlling the song and stage when he performs (something he learned from Hyuna). He cannot want something he cannot understand. He cannot want freedom in the sense the fandom keeps speaking about.
It's funny. From the moment Luka was revealed to be hated by the fandom, I wanted to know why. Instead of digging and finding horrific deeds, I instead found a character who portrayed my own traumas and experiences. I instantly attached and delved deeply into learning about this thirty year old singer. Why does he express himself in a certain way? Where do we first see mention of him? Who does he have emotions towards? How was he trained? What makes Luka himself? I have past essays/replies to other's theories if you're interested, but in this one I got personal and didn't sugarcoat the facts. If the fandom can't handle deep thought, we shouldn't be discussing this incredibly profound and depth-filled web series.
As always, thank you for your time, and I hope my thoughts allowed you to open your mind to new things. Mostly, I hope you enjoyed them 🫶
#alnst#alien stage#alnst luka#alien stage luka#luka alnst#luka alien stage#alien stage analysis#alien stage theory#alnst analysis#alnst theory#tw trauma#tw conditioning#tw manipulation#tw abuse#we're dissecting the following triggers btw#in cass you're wondering#take care
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A day has passed since Liam was buried to rest forever and I feel I have to express what I have in the depth of my heart.
We all agree that we all wished for a private funeral where only Liam's true people attended and where those people were free to be themselves, but this wasn't it. Maybe because Liam's family wanted a respectful public goodbye or, most likely, because they knew they couldn't avoid it (the fact syco's people was there made me question if the family had actually a say in keeping the ceremony totally private).
So, paps were allowed but with strict rules and the details weren't disclosed until the very last. They did everything necessary to keep the dignity of the ceremony. And they did it.
In this scenario, I want to point out at what the boys did: they discussed it prior and they decided to show there separately and to interact the less possibile. The fact that there were paps imposed them to wear their TM trenchcoats but they did it in silence, they maintained the lowest profile possible. They sacrified their grieve to not offer any kind of side to paps for taking pictures of the "reunion", knowing too well how disgusting outlets were waiting for nothing but that. They didn't give anyone any chance to make it about One Direction; they made it only about Liam. They gave him all the respect and dignity he deserved that they only could give him, because they only truly loved him. (Apart his family, of course). This was the biggest final act of love they could do for him, and they did.
Ohana means family, and family means nobody is left behind
Another mention goes to Cheryl and the way she protected Bear. They very likely had their private moment and she kept him away from paps, disgusting people and speculations. I could think what I think about her as a woman in regard of her "relationship" with Liam, but as a mother she has my whole true respect.
And last, to Karen and Geoff. As a parent myself, I cannot even image what kind of devastation has been living in their hearts for all this time; and yet, just because I am a mother, I can perfectly imagine that. I have never stopped thinking at them since that cursed day, and the dignity they showed is something I admire deeply. I don't think I would be able to, if I were in their shoes.
Karen, Geoff, Ruth, Nicola, Bear, Harry, Louis, Niall and Zayn: I hope you can feel our love, I hope you can feel our warm hug. You are not alone in the grief; we'll do our best to keep Liam's memory alive and teach the world what beautiful man he was, and we'll do our best to keep his legacy alive, avoiding his death was invain. Just show us the path, and we'll follow it.
And last, to Liam: you'll live forever ❤️
#liam payne#rip liam payne#harry styles#louis tomlinson#zayn malik#niall horan#one direction#liam's funeral#liam payne funeral
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From the moment I was coherent, I knew my family was different. Off, somehow, not normal. It was something in the way my parents looked at me when they thought I was distracted, the way they treated me like I didn't belong. Like I was an inconvenience.
My brother and sisters? So, so spoiled. Between mom's modeling and dad's business stuff, there was MONEY, and my siblings had it lavished on them. Toys, designer clothes - whatever they wanted. They were hugged, cosseted, taken on trips, given actual attention! They had a fabulous childhood.
Not like mine.
There was this undercurrent of resentment towards me that I never understood. I never had birthday parties, the folks were always "too busy", tossing some money my way so I could get a present. It never mattered what my grades were, I handed over the report cards to get signed and that was it. Unlike my siblings - they got pizza parties for not failing classes! but my damn near perfect marks were shrugged off. It was a lonely, confusing life, especially for a little kid.
My solace was in books. (Yep, I nerd.) If it was in print, I'd read it. That empty feeling inside me was soothed when I filled myself with words, stories, information, music. Yes, I taught myself how to read music, too, and how to build and play instruments. The early ones were crap, but I got better at it.
Anyways. I read everything, which led me to the 'occult/spiritual' section of the library and book stores. Right next to the fairy tales and legends, of course, so I read those too because why the heck not? It was ... it was educational. Upsetting. I wandered around the house and saw all the cold iron and silver on every window, every door. The weird herbs growing at every entrance. Keep in mind that I was TEN. Ten years old, trying to understand what was going on with my life, and suddenly figuring out that my parents were keeping something out. Of course, the next thing I did was check my clothes and, surprise surprise, everything had odd things sewn into the hems. Not only was something kept out, I was warded against being Taken.
So, I did what any angsty pre-adolescent would do, and plotted. Come hell or high water, I was going to find out what was going on. For the first time in my life, being ignored worked in my favor. Using the books and stories as a guide, I bought things, ingredients and materials, and worked quietly. Waiting for the night of the full moon.
I was as thorough as only an angry child could be. Opened doors, front and back. Walked around the house widdershins, sweeping away the protective ring of salt and runes. Did I mention I was naked? Yeah, I took a bath and washed myself with a bar of Ivory soap, getting rid of even the smallest trace of binding or charm. Since I didn't trust any of my clothes, or any in the house really, it made sense for me to go naked. To be sure.
The results were impressive. Also terrifying. Two powerful, ancient beings stormed into the house and dragged my parents out of bed, starting a three-way screaming match about contracts, oaths, stuff I didn't understand.
That was when I learned why I was conceived. It hurt, honestly. Learning that I was just a bargaining chip, chattel to be bartered or sold, broke my heart. They kept me warded to avoid issues, they said. They didn't know which being had the first claim on me, and neither one wanted to give up the wealth and beauty they bought with my life.
I was ten years old, and heartbroken, and oh so angry, and I interrupted with a suggestion. The witch and the faerie exchanged a look, before turning to my parents with the same smile on both their faces, one with extra teeth and mischief.
To this day, I have no idea what happened to them. I've lived with my dads for ten years now. Not full time anymore, university is a beeyotch and I live off campus, but every break, I go home.
My family is still kinda off, and different, but my dads love me. They're proud of me, they encourage me to be awesome, and we celebrate birthdays and holidays together. They keep saying that they have to make up for lost time, but knowing they were trying to find me, knowing they never gave up hope - well. They wanted a child to love, and i needed parents to love me. It all worked out in the end.
Your mother sold her firstborn to a witch in exchange for beauty and your father sold his firstborn to a fairy for wealth. Today you are born.
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LITTLE THINGS
synopsis: when your boyfriend climbs up the very tree you hate so much, on a stormy night, all just to see you, suddenly the big bad oak tree outside doesn't seem all that intimidating
wc: 1.2k
pairings: chenle × fem! reader, established relationship
genre: fluff
warning: mentions of a storm, uses of petnames, use of the word death
notes: HAPPY CHENLE DAY! this is a little cheesy but fuck it we ball ig
You've always hated the massive oak tree outside your bedroom window, the one that likes to play these unintentional pranks on you in the middle of the night.
Branches flying and spinning as if they're about to snap off, leaves forming shapes you didn't even know existed through the window as the wind whistled behind you.
It felt eerie, like you were in those horror movies where the main lead seemed to have no common sense and jumped at the oppurtunity at getting themselves killed, like they actively sought out death.
It made you feel like danger lurked at every corner, you were caged by nothing more than the four thin walls of your bedroom, and that the curtains that masked the outside, though not particularly well, were your only form of blissful ignorance.
On the windy, less peaceful nights as you tossed and turned in bed, you didn't appreciate that massive oak tree whatsoever. Tonight, your dislike for the thing feels amplified, and you come to the conclusion that you'll be chopping it down even if it's the last thing you do. Heck, you'd get the saw and do it yourself if you could.
You don't like it, the rumbling, those loud cracks or the booming sound followed by quick, incessant flashes across the sky.
It caused shivers to run down your spine, your pupils to dilate and your eyes to be screwed shut, your fingers curling in on themselves as you cocooned yourself in the warmth of your blanket.
Simply put you don't like thunderstorms
And that darn oak tree is of no help. Especially not when there's a rather distinct shadow slowly crawling across that of the tree, one you take peaks at and look away from in turn as you slowly sink deeper into your mattress, seeing it move towards you, getting closer by the second
You swear you'd elicit a scream had it not been the dead of the night, knowing if you did, you'd get an absolute earful about it the next morning, being such a scaredy cat at your big age
There's a knocking at your window only a few moments later. You gulp.
God you did not want to die today.
"Y/n" there's a deep, hesitant whisper of your name and you can't help but curl further into the thin duvet that rests over your shaking body, by no means was it cold, but it felt protective against the storm outside, and that was reason enough for you to wrap yourself up in the blue comforter— your life practically depended on it
You're imagining things, you convince yourself, sighing and closing your eyes in attempts to drift off to sleep.
But the light treading of footsteps that grows louder and louder has you bolting your eyes open in seconds
"Oh goody, you're awake" chenle's beaming voice in your room at 2am was not what you had been expecting, you're not quite sure where he gets this much energy from in the middle of the night either, shooting him a dark glare, between your own two sleepy eyes
"You couldn't use the damn door Zhong?" your hand plants itself against your forehead as you shoot up from your bed, quietly stomping over to him to shut the window— something you'd been meaning to do for the past few hours, but had simply been too scared to do.
"Yeah well your parents hate me and I'm not sure they'd like me making my jolly old way through the front door given the hour" he rolls his eyes, setting his wet jacket down to dry
"And you think they'll like you for sneaking in through the window instead?" you whisper yell, brows somewhat furrowed
"What they don't know won't hurt them" he shrugs, a little too casually for someone who'd just parkoured their way up a tree at 2am, you hum regardless, he wasn't wrong.
"Besides they don't hate you" he takes a seat at the edge of your bed
"Now don't lie to me princess" he chuckles low and slow "we both know they hate do, especially daddio"
"Hate is a strong word, they're just not your biggest fans" you defend, letting chenle wrap you up in the spare hoodie of his he'd bought along with him "though I can't say that you calling my father, daddio is doing much to help"
"I didn't come here to talk about whether your parents approve of me" he smiles, eyes rolling yet again as he wraps his arm around you, "that's a conversation for later— right now, I'm here for you"
"At 2am on a Monday morning? we have school Chenle"
"Well correct me if im wrong princess but I'm sure you'd rather me be here than be all alone on a night like this" he says, gesturing towards the window with a tilt of his neck
"No way" you huff "i'm a big girl, a little storm won't phase me" you say proudly with a puffed chest, not that it lasts long as you practically throw yourself into chenle's arms with a muffled screech, when another strike of lightning booms above you, heartbeat erratic
chenle chuckles to himself
"What was that, a little storm, not sure about a big girl but you sure are a big baby" he laughs again, "my big baby"
You pout, "don't tease, it's scary"
You feel his hand run across your hair in attempts to ease the racing of you heart, pulling you from his chest to take ahold of your cheeks in his hands, gently caressing them with tender eyes locked into your own
His stare is strong, unlike yours, yet there's a deep rooted gentleness to those eyes that overwhelms you with calm. Chenle always knew this fear of yours made you feel pathetic, childish in fact.
"is it still scary? even when I'm here"
You respond with a shy shaking of your head
"Nothings scary when you're here," you whisper against his hold, and chenle swears, he feels his heart swell at how sweet your words are, falling from your lips so hushed, almost like they were sacred
"Not even that big bad oak tree outside?" chenle points at the horrific outline of the tree outside, earning a quick shudder from you before you tuck yourself back into his hold
"Not funny lele" you sulk
"Come on princess, it was a little" his lips tug upwards, your own smile hidden away between the material of his black hoodie
You shake your head "hate that tree with a passion"
"even if it helped me get up here?"
You shake your head again, maybe the big bad oak tree wasn't all that bad, maybe you just had to give it a chance to prove itself
"I'm glad you came" you say, pecking his cheek to affirm your gratitude
"Of course I came princess, you know I could never leave you alone on a night like this" he holds you tight against his chest, so firm you wonder whether he too thinks the wind would break through the walls and sweep you away
"Besides, I have to make sure there's no other guys sneaking in through your window"
#chenle x reader#chenle fluff#nct dream chenle#nct chenle#chenle#chenle x oc#chenle x y/n#chenle x you#nct dream x y/n#nct dream x oc#nct dream x female reader#nct dream x you#nct dream x reader#nct x female reader#nct x oc#nct x y/n#nct x you#nct x reader#nct fluff
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WOLFCLAN: MOON 16.5
"What's that weird thing around his neck?" "He smells funny." "Why's he always asleep? Doesn't he want to explore the camp?"
Rapidwind sighed. His kits were at the age where they had endless questions about everything around them, and asked faster than he could answer. "He came from far away. He smells funny and wears that thing around his neck because he didn't live with a clan, he lived with big animals called 'Twolegs'. Try not to bother him, he's hurt and he's been through a lot. He needs rest. And, um, don't tell him he smells funny. That's rude."
Robinkit, crawling up Rapidwind's back, managed to tumble over his father's head and fall into his paws. Rapidwind avoided the impulse to itch his face where the kit's tail tickled it - Indigoleaf would be furious if he accidentally wiped the poultice off his snout. Again. "But, but, why is he here now?" Robinkit mewed, before Finchkit interrupted by pouncing on his brother.
"Because… Twolegs don't like cats." Rapidwind answered. But was that true? His old clanmate, Terracotta, had claimed most Twolegs were kind. But she had been hurt and thrown out by them too, hadn't she? "So stay away from them. Just like you'd stay away from wolves, or coyotes, or eagles."
"And foxes and snakes and owls!" Oriolekit added. "Is that where we come from?"
Rapidwind stared at the kit for a moment, caught off-guard. "What do you mean, where you come from?"
"Badgerstripe said you brought us to camp." Oriolekit continued, and now her brothers were also looking up at Rapidwind. "Did you get us from Twolegs, like Shimmerstar brought Dusty back to camp?"
Rapidwind knew they'd ask about their origin eventually, but he hadn't settled on how much he would share. "No, you didn't come from Twolegs." He eventually answered. "You're clan-born, because I'm your dad."
"Badgerstripe said most cats have two parents." Oriolekit's gaze was more prying than Rapidwind thought was possible for a kit.
Badgerstripe needs to mind his own business. "That's true." He admitted. He couldn't lie to them. "You're my kits. And you also have a mother." Robinkit opened his mouth, about to speak, but Rapidwind laid his tail over the kit's muzzle. "Hush, just listen. She lived far away, with other cats. She didn't think it was safe to raise kits there, but she couldn't leave, because she was loyal to them too. So we decided you would grow up here, because WolfClan will care for any cat that needs help. Little kits like you, and old kittypets like Dusty."
Rapidwind realized his kits were all looking up at him, wide-eyed. "Does that answer your question?"
Finchkit nodded. "So, does everyone else know our mother?"
"No, I don't think so." Rapidwind glanced around the cave, but it was empty besides him, his kits, and the sleeping Dusty. "A long time ago, back when I was as little as you and the clan lived somewhere else, cats weren't supposed to have families outside their clan. Now that we live in the mountains things are different, but... I thought it was best if I didn't tell everyone. All that matters is that you're here, with me."
Rapidwind assumed that he and Shimmerstar were the only ones to actually remember living with the old codes and traditions. Indigoleaf, Badgerstripe, and Polecatspot had been too young at the time. When they fled to the mountains, it had felt like those restrictions were left behind, and all that mattered was that they would take care of each other. Shimmerstar hadn't punished Rapidwind when he brought his half-clan kits to camp, and treated the kits with the same kindness that they had shown Rapidwind when he was little, but it was obvious that the leader was actively avoiding the subject of WolfClan's deputy breaking the old clan's rules.
"Well, I like being here." Robinkit announced, his squeaky mew as serious as he could make it. Rapidwind didn't miss how he was starting to get fidgety.
"I like it more!" Oriolekit mewed back, and swiped a paw at Robinkit. Robinkit swiped back, and the two started wrestling.
Finchkit bonked his head against Rapidwind's flank, purring. "I like that we get to be with you."
Rapidwind curled his tail around Finchkit, both of them watching the others play-fight. "I like that you get to be with me, too."
#wolfclan#update#bonus#i dont know if ill write more of these. if i do: none will contain plot-critical stuff#it's just a way to add in longer conversations and misc stuff that wouldn't fit in the normal gif format#but i should find a way to make it fit better with the whole video game bit....
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On a positive note, the comic for Hazard actually was interesting enough to make me look past his 'safe' for a punk character design. I'm hyped!
youtube
I did not expect overwatch to directly call out systemic ableism and classism in the story.
Kids in poverty being funneled into a military pipeline only to be spat out and cast aside as disabled vets in poverty is a very real issue in the world.
If Hazard was rich, he could have afforded prosthesis that actually fit him, ones that didn't cause him pain. Instead, only bc he could not afford better ones, the system gave him the bare minimum for survival, and instead of actually dealing with the root cause and issue they gave him pain meds. In his eyes, this was done so that the system could pay him to shut up, or face consequences. No different than what his parents went through. They wouldn't even give him the respect to tell him WHY the deadly crash that maimed him happened, nor do anything to prevent OTHERS from being hurt in the same way. The system is working as intended. The system didn't care about him, nor others. The system uses it's citizen's bodies for profit.
This panel hits so hard because visual story telling wise it says so much.
In this panel, the stray animal that saved his life is the only one who cares, as the fellow human beings he fought to keep safe as a veteran walk past him at full pace.
How in this panel, his disability is 'blocking the path' of the able bodied, his very existence a 'hindrance' to the able bodied, when the hospital path really ought to be the one taken into account for. Pushed out the door into a system that was never designed for him. Yet, anyone could be in his shoes. Anyone could become disabled, poor, or neglected. Anyone could become just another 'stray mutt' in the system.
How in this panel he is posed in a way where he has the choice to turn and 'go with the flow' of the system and follow the crowd and not look back.... or go 'against the flow' in the opposite direction of the crowd looking for other 'strays' like him left behind by this system.
Honestly props to the comic creators for even discussing systemic oppression to dorectly.
I also am incredibly interested in seeing if Sombra got her spine mods from the Phreaks or not, because it looks like similar tech in her short.
I just hope that the Phreaks are more RobinHood and 'guerilla warfare against the system to spark change', rather than purely anarchists blowing everything up bc lol. The Phreaks being anarchists would be a waste of story, just another gang that became radicalized and corrupt and causes harm and must be defeated by Overwatch. (I am only worried about this because Ramattra became radicalized and demonized for trying to prevent the extinction of omnics. Ramattra is fully in his right to physically resist omnic extinction bc omnics ARE finite and being killed. We STILL don't know what those null sector helmets are for... but for some reason Ramattra is written as emotionally hasty(???) to the point of horrible accidents happening, which makes no sense since he is a R-7000 built for war TACTICS, not an emotional human that can misremember. The way Ramattra's story is handled doesn't make sense imo, they write him as if he's a biological being.)
I hope Hazard aims for accountability and dismantling of oppressive systems, rather than having no rules at all thru anarchy (he as a child saw what no rules in small doses gave him: bad homelife, bad school life, no accountability, no fostering of the mind and well being. That's why I think making the Phreaks anarchists would be stupid to do. There are systems that CAN foster mental and physical wellbeing, cooperation is one of those systems and Hazard is pro cooperation.) He did have an "eye for an eye" against the forces that took out the Phreaks in Morocco, but to be fair Oasis is using minority report 'predictive crime ai' bs so I can't blame Hazard for wanting to hit Oasis where it hurts by stealing thier most secret tech. (Perhaps Sombra helped the Phreaks/gave them that clue since Sombra is against the eye conspiracy, and that eye conspiracy is connected to Oasis)
I also hope Hazard's character is used to discuss the discrimination disabled people face in the Overwatch world, because they really dropped the ball with Soujorn on that front. (Her book used ableism... as a metaphor for racism?!?! Awful stuff. Cyborg (life saving surgery for disabled) people canonically face discrimination in overwatch.)
Because of that, I am super interested in hearing Hazard's voice interactions for lore, I hope we get more lore on omnics and Oasis and the Sombra eye conspiracy, and I am curious about Hazard's kit and what he will bring to the table matchup wise. We will probably get more eye conspiracy lore with the release of the Morocco map tho, tbf.
#overwatch#overwatch 2#ow2#ow#hazard overwatch#hazard#link#video#text#long text#/negative#heavy topics#tw racism#tw ableism#tw classism#just discussing these topics#tw fictional death#Youtube
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every once and a while i remember my high school economics teacher and get pissed off all over again at the things she said and did. this was over a decade ago, and she was old then, so it's entirely likely she's dead now. i take great pleasure in that possibility.
she was one of those teachers that was close to retirement and completely gave up on teaching. she'd just fuck around on her computer or read her books all day. there wasnt a single actual lesson for her entire class and she was the only one that taught economics, also passing the class was a requirement for graduating. she was well known for being the reason why a good chunk of seniors didnt graduate at my school.
the few times that she actually talked to the class it was something completely false or extremely racist. like one time we somehow got on the topic of citizenship requirements, and she boldly stated that the US didn't allow dual citizenship and you were required to forfeit your original citizenship if you wanted to emigrate.
i have dual citizenship. and i told her as much.
and this bitch said in front of the entire class that i was either a liar or my parents were lying to me and that i should shut up or id risk someone hearing and DEPORTING ME
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Expect the Unexpected
Pairing: Han Jisung X afab!reader
Word count: 9.7k
Genre: Childhood friends to lovers (stoned college edition
Warnings: 18+ explicit minors do not interact. Substance use, sexual acts under the influence of substance use, Kissing, naked bodies, mentions of genitals, fingering, handjob, orgasm, mentions of semen
Tag list: @seo--changbin @j-0ne25 @cb97whoree
@kpopsstuffs
Note: HEY guys, its been a while, and like actually a while this time.... Had this sitting in the draft for almost a year. Life has very much gotten in the way but i am back hopefully, with the aim of engaging in writing when I feel like and no pressuring myself. Anyways, it's nice to be back and I hope you enjoy.
Summary: There was a blizzard, resulting in your college dorm being blocked from all human interaction. Things are about to, however change when your childhood best friend, and wall neighbour comes over and has other things in mind to pass the time with weed included as one of them.
The first time living away from your family and by yourself was an experience that you very much valued. No curfews, no worrying about what your parents were going to say when you’ve had several drinks at a party, and definitely no nagging to make your bed everyday. Make no mistake, you loved your parents and siblings a lot, it was just nice sometimes to have the complete privacy that was your dorm room every now and then.
There were moments that you did become homesick. On the contrary to having your own private, personal space, especially during the trying moments of completing long winded assignments, studying for exams, or even just having the feeling of familiarity when you hugged somebody that was your blood. There were always pros and cons to living an independent college life. At this current moment in time, you were experiencing one of the more annoying parts of living in a college building.
Deep into the winter seasons of the year, while also living in a state that was known for having extreme weather patterns during this time of the year was your least favorite part. Once the news alerted ‘warning, blizzard storm approaching in the next 48 hours,’ you knew that the college would be sending an official email, urging students to stay in the dorms, and barricade all exits.
This was where you were currently at.
Lying in your bed, phone up to your face as you reassured your family through facetime that you were fine and had no plans of leaving anytime soon.
“You guys know the drill,” you smiled, “I’m fine, two days in and I am alive and well, just a little bored.”
“Okay well don’t forget that Jisung’s mother and I got those rooms next to each other so you guys always have a little bit of company.”
“Yes mom I know,” you laughed, “I might text him later. He had an assignment due this afternoon and I don’t want to bother him.”
“Okay love, we will talk to you later.”
“Love you too, bye.”
The sound representing the end of the call rang through the speaker of your phone. The object fell on your chest as you let out a loud sigh, your boredom growing with each second.
Jisung. Han Jisung was someone that could be labeled as many different things to you. Friend, confidant, best friend, study buddy; home. Jisung was the jack of all trades in your book.
Knowing each other since the two of you were 10, meeting at a weekend competition of playing mixed teams basketball bloomed into a relationship you didn't know was even possible to have with a man. Jisung was the friend that kind of just stuck, even planning to go to the same college as you. It was a packaged deal, you and him, but it made you laugh, because the two of you could not be more of the opposite. Jisung was the shyer type. Although you met through sporting engagements, that was more something that his parents put him into to see what he liked. He was very intelligent, a strong preference to have his head in the books rather than going out to a new party every weekend. Make no mistake, Jisung was a very polite individual, always talking to those that gave the time. However, he was much more comfortable with people that he knew. In contrast, you were a social butterfly, able to make friends every corner you turned. Parties and drinking every weekend; anywhere but the was where the majority of your time was spent.
Therefore, when all the buildings on campus were closed, it drove you crazy. There was nothing that could be hated more than being forced to stay inside in your eyes. The confinement always made you reconsider why it was here, in this state, that you chose to attend college. But it was when you heard a knock on the door that you were reminded why. Leg flopping out of your bed sheets, they dragged you to the door, your body sprinkled in warmth when you opened it to your kind looking friend who happened to be smiling back. Your body turned to the side, hand out as he strolled into your apartment, plopping down on the couch like it was his own. You quickly followed, taking the spot next to him as you turned to face him.
“Are you bored yet?”
“Of course I am,” you sigh, walking in front of Jisung as you walk into the living room of your apartment and sitting on the couch, head in your hands, leaning forward so much that you could almost fall off the couch “as if it took you this long to realise.”
“Y/n, the email was only sent out 4 hours ago.”
“Yeah but there was supposed to be a party tonight at Changbin’s frat,” you whined, lips fully pouted, “I really wanted to go.”
“Yeah,” he sighed, placing his hands behind his head, legs kicked out on the small table in front of him, “it’s a real shame that the party is canceled.”
Your best friend managed to avoid eye contact, voice dripping with sarcasm. To be truthful, you knew that even though he would go with you, to make sure you're safe of course, and DEFINITELY for that reason only, Jisung would never choose to willingly go to such a party. It wasn’t that he was a complete prude little innocent boy, no. There had been a multitude of times where you could hear him, or the other girls that failed to stay quiet and not echo through the paper thin dorm walls. Jisung just simply wasn’t the type to go out to parties, especially when everyone there was a slobbering mess on one substance or another, especially you. There was a feeling that if you were merely a stranger to him, Jisung would most likely, outside of classes, be a ghost. A myth that supposedly walks down the hallways of your college. Seeing as the two of you were opposite in that regard, you tried to respect Jisung as much as possible. Not bringing your bong, joints, or excessive amounts of alcohol whenever he came over, because you knew if the shoe was on the other foot, he would also do the same. Jisung only had the occasional puff anyway, much less than you, so the need to have it around constantly felt unnecessary.
“Try not to ooze with excitement,” you raised your eyebrows, a fake smile plastering across your lips as you failed to see his attitude change. Good old Jisung for you.
“I’ll try my best.”
“Anyway,” you replied, leaning forward and grabbing the TV remote, pressing the small red power button in the top right corner, watching the plasma screen light up with the logo belonging to Netflix. You turn again to the man beside you, a warmth feeling in your chest at how placid he looked, patiently waiting for you to put something on.
“Is there anything you would like to watch for the next 12 hours?”
Yes, 12 hours. That was you being optimistic that this storm would be quick.
“Hmm,” Jisung hummed, bringing his index finger and thumb to his chin, thinking about what to watch, “there isn’t anything I’ve been keeping up with.”
“Ah I see. Shall we just scroll until we find something we like?”
“Sounds like a great idea.”
Clicking on your profile, the first row of TV shows were ‘Watch it again,’ followed by ‘Top hits for Y/n.’ Nothing really caught your eye, or his seeing as he would say something if he did. It wasn’t until your ‘continue watching for y/n’ that you gasped, loud. The word ‘Bridgerton’ has popped up in continuing. At first you were confused. Although you were an avid lover of that show, you had not watched it recently. It wasn’t until you selected it that you realized a new season had come out. Jisung remained puzzled, seeing as this was not something he had a remote interest in watching.
“Oh my god Jisung can we-”
“No man,” he complained, “you know this is the last thing I would want to watch.”
“Please,” you begged, placing your hands in the form of a prayer, remote still in hand, “it’s so good I beg of you please to just consider. I’ll do anything.”
“Ugh fine,” he hissed, “but I cannot be 100% sober for this shit.”
Your eyebrow furrowed, displaying a look of confusion. This was the thing you would expect someone like Jisung to say.
“Hmm ok,” you hummed, still slightly confused, “I’ll get my stash of vodka.”
“Hmmm no,” he shrugged, a slightly suggestive glimmer on his face, “something that will be long-lasting, if you’re catching my drift.”
Jisung raised his eyebrows repeatedly, leaving your mind to imply one substance only. Weed.
“You want to smoke, really?”
“Yes y/n, I want to smoke weed, is that ok with you?”
“Of course it is,” you reassured, “you know that if you were here or not I would probably do it anyway.”
“Okay.”
“Done.”
“Okay, and we have to watch from the beginning or I will go back to my room.”
“Yes yes okay fine,” you leaned over, pressing a grateful kiss on his cheek, “you’re the best. I’ll get my stash now.”
You scurried off to your room, quickly, opening the small draw on your side table next to your bed. Your stash, the prized possession that was the calm before the storm. Smoking in your downtime was something that you very much looked forward to, especially if you were unnecessarily stressed out. Your face lit up and the clouds of dark green hue clouded the plastic bag that was in your sight, fingers grasping the edge as you wiggled back to your original spot. Although you agreed, it was strange of your friend to want to just smoke out of boredom. The only time you had seen him do it was at small gatherings, and even then, it was one puff and done, usually followed by heavy chest hitting coughs. It always made you laugh. It also made you feel bad, knowing that if he didn’t hang around with you, he probably wouldn’t do these kinds of things. Jisung was an adult who could make his own decisions, but there was always part of you that thought about him, his family; would they approve of him doing this? It was a lot to think about sometimes.
It was Jisung’s turn to hold the remote, flicking back to season 1 episode 1, before scooching closer to you. Jisung was keen to get in on the action, something you were definitely not used to. He went to reach for the paper, but you grabbed him by the wrist, making him pause for a moment.
“Jisung, are you sure you want to do this?”
“Yes,” he smiled, unsure why you were asking such a question, “it’s not the first time I’ve done it y/n, relax.”
“Yeah I know,” you shrugged, “it’s just, I’ve only seen you smoke once, and you looked like you were about to cough up your lungs.”
“Oh,” he sighed, looking away in embarrassment, “you saw that?”
“Unfortunately, I did.”
“Yeah well I can do it,” he barked, somewhat getting defensive, pointing at the TV to deflect from his deficits “you’re making me watch this shit.”
“Okay okay,” you whined, letting go of his wrist, “but please let me show you how to roll and smoke a joint properly so you don’t actually hurt yourself.”
The two of you giggled simultaneously, resulting in Jisung reluctantly nodding in agreement. He watched closely as he watched you open both bags, paper on the right, weed on the left.
“Okay so,” you began to speak, “firstly,” you paused again, using your index and middle finger on your right hand to slide into the plastic, “I like to slide my fingers in like this, touching the least amount of paper possible.”
Jisung pushed his lenses right up to his face, making sure his concentration was avid; missing a step was not an option for him. Once the sheet was out of paper, you placed it on top of the plastic. You like to take pride in your work, especially being a part time stoner, of your supplies. Seeing as it cost you a significant amount, it felt wrong to not get the best out of your product.
“Then,” you continued, “you get the bag with the goods, and I like to,” pausing again, opening the bag and grabbing one cluster, “just crush it in my fingers as small as I can, and sprinkle it in a line across the center.”
He nodded again, observing how smooth your fingers were, fingertips sprinkling green across the white square placed in the table.
“Are you following?”
“Of course,” he nodded, furrowing his eyebrows to show his concentration. Jisung swallowed a nervous gulp, remembering that he really had no idea what he was going to do when he coughed his lungs up one more time. Yes, he was concentrating on how you did it, but he couldn’t help it. His cognitions were descending into the gutter, especially watching the two fingers he tended to use when he was in lewd acts himself. It made him nervous.
Sure, there were intrusive thoughts about you being a part of his fantasies and desires, but Jisung knew better than to act on something that came from pure lust. Instead, pressing his lips together, attempting to stifle the giggle that threatened to erupt from his lips. You, however, were too smart to not notice him suppressing his laughter. Your elbow nudged his side, a sheepish gaze as you began to question him.
“What’s so funny?”
“What,” he questioned, puffing his cheeks and shaking his head, patting your arm, “keep going.”
You decided to shrug it off, not letting his immaturity obstruct you from your prized possession. Next was the rolling. Lifting the paper with the utmost precaution, the material was brought to your lips, tongue sticking out as your lips lay a thin layer of saliva to coat the edge of the paper.
“See what I did with my tongue?”
‘Oh god,’ was all Jisung could think, mind once again heading straight to the gutter. All he could think about was what your tongue, if it was positioned under a different appendage, how different it could be. His testosterone was raging, but once again, he knew better. To Jisung, nothing could be worse than putting his own selfish wants ahead of your friendship. However, the longer he stared at you practically making out with the joint, licking it up and down, side to side, making sure the two ends stuck together, the harder it became to push his thoughts away from such dirty crevices of his mind. The torture was over for him once you withdrew the now complete joint from your lips. You were satisfied with how it turned out, a smile of approval, and a hint of arrogance plastered on your face.
“And that’s how you do it. Now your turn.”
“Ok,” he sighed, “swap spots with me so I can do it.”
“Yes sir,” you mumbled, playfully rolling your eyes you obeyed, allowing your best friend to now sit in front of the two bags. He followed your steps with ease, using great precision with his fingers to eject the weed and paper from each plastic container. He was natural. Only the two fingers, being the same ones you, strategically rolling the two digits back and forth. He was swift, nimble, adjectives you normally liked to use when you felt the touch of a man. It was your turn to swallow nervously, a small pit of arousal brewing in your lower abdomen as the small pelts of green substance dissipated across the center of the paper, just like you did. Holy shit, how could something as simple as rolling a joint be so attractive? Jisung brought a hand to his hair, running it quickly through the brown mop to get it out of his face, aiming to let no obstacles get in his way. He gave you one look, a gaze of concern when he noticed your eyes glued to his hands.
“You okay?”
Your eyes shot straight to his, attempting to not be mesmerized by the joyful expression covering his features. Fuck, why was his smile having such an impact on you right now? He chuckled, assuming that you were just playing around, but in reality, you were definitely distracted by the attractiveness of your friend with a sudden fresh washed mop of brown hair, glasses, and shining complexion of the side of his face as the light from the window cascaded across the high points of his cheeks. You faked a smile, nodding as you egged him on to continue. Panic began to settle in however when you saw the bare tip of his tongue coating the corner of the white material. Holy shit, he really was a natural. Licking the edge right across in one swift motion, not using too much saliva, yet still using enough. It was almost offensive how much better his joint looked compared to yours. But that was just what Jisung was: a perfectionist with little effort in trying to attain said perfection. He didn’t stray too much out of the norm, yet when he did try something, he was always good at it from the first try. Sometimes it made you wonder what other things he would be good at. But that was for another time, with a similar mindset in the fact that a brief thought of sexual fantasy was not worth more than your friendship. Especially if he didn't reciprocate, the awkwardness after would be something you most definitely could not handle.
“Woah,” you gasped, grasping the joint out of his hand, intensely observing it from each angle, “I knew you would be good at this.”
Your best friend beamed at your approval, eagerly waiting for the next step.
“Oh my lighter, I’ll go grab it now.”
You forgot before, but this gave you time to completely subtract those devil filled thoughts of Jisung by not looking at him for a brief moment. It worked, because as soon as you opened the drawer and saw your lighter, all you could focus on was lighting that shit up.
Coming back to the living room once more, you placed the fire breathing object on the table, offering Jisung to go first. He looked hesitant, unsure how or where he should start. It was adorable when Jisung was like this, because he was clueless not very often. You decided to pick it back up, pressing the flicker down once to ignite the flame.
“Do you want to go first, or would you like me to go first?”
“Uhm,” he hummed, “I think you should go first, you know, show me how to do this shit properly.”
“Okay,” you chuckled, letting go of the flicker on the lighter, handing it over to him, “well I usually don’t light my own joints so would you do me the honors?”
“Of course,” he purred, the smoothness of his tone delivering a sudden pulse to your core. You leant forward, completely forgetting that your clothing was completely revealing by all means. The looseness of your long sleeve white shirt was telling, the action of leaning forward exposing the subtlety of your cleavage. You could see Jisung’s eyes travel straight to them, but only for a brief moment. He was trying to be as respectful as he could, but it was impossible when your chest was right there. His thumb dragged with ease, flame luminous as he brought the orange tipped flame to the edge of your joint. The tip turned dark immediately, and the taste of the herb came with that. The sensation was immediate, as you grabbed the joint with two fingers, pulling the object away from your lips and letting the warmth of the smoke spilling, down your chest, and back up again, eyes fluttering shut as you puffed the smoke from your lips, the feeling of nostalgia hitting you.
Jisung watched you in awe, amazed at how easily smoking came to you. He wanted to try so bad. He wanted to prove to you that he could do something that you did not expect of him. But he was patient, waiting for you to open your eyes before he started.
“Mmmm,” you hummed in pure bliss, lifting your eyelids slightly, “that is some good shit.”
“Yeah?”
“Yessss,” you hissed, grabbing onto his hands holding the lighter, sliding it out of his hand “your turn. Place the joint between your lips and lean forward.”
Jisung did as he was told, adjusting his positioning to being abnormally close to you. You didn’t pay much mind, the small flame igniting once again, but you paused, almost forgetting that he in fact did now know what he was doing.
“Ok so once I light this,” you paused, using your free hand to squeeze his jaw, “are you listening?”
His eyes widened at your sudden touch, a small nod which was obstructed by your somewhat firm grasp.
“Ok so once I light this, take a small breath in, hold for a second, and blow it out.”
“Yes maam,” he smiled, looking deep into your eyes before you passed him the bud, waiting for him to grasp it between his two fingers. When he does, still keeping his eyes on you, simultaneously feeling your brain drop slightly at how intense his gaze was in this very moment, lips forming into the shape of an o as the paper came to his lips, taking the smallest puff, and blowing it out. You were impressed, seeing this was the first time he smoked anything without coughing his lungs out. A smile came to your lips, proud of your best friend in the moment.
“Woah,” he sighed, finally breaking his stare, eyes changing towards the blunt. His chest descended as he took another puff, turning back to face the tv as his back gently slid into the couch.
“How was that?”
“Is it crazy that I already feel more relaxed than before?”
His response made you giggle, glad he was enjoying himself.
“I told you,” sighing as you snatched the blunt from his grip, taking a long drag, “I only smoke the high quality stuff.”
“Sure do,” he growled, sinking deeper and deeper into the couch. Jisung grabbed the remote, pressing play on the TV, greeted by a girl in a royal style gown. He forgot that it was Bridgerton that got him here in this predicament.
***
It did not take much for the two of you to feel the consequences of smoking. One thing you hated to admit was that you craved the presence of someone next to you when under the influence. But not just like in your orbit no. Like needing a lack of personal space. To be suffocated. Which is why the two of you were sitting the way you were now. Your legs atop of his own, head buried into his chest, with your arms wrapped around his torso.
The intrusive thoughts always won when you were high, which is how your fingertips came to be not just on your best friend, but under his shirt, skin to skin contact. You couldn’t deny that the texture of his defined build, muscles budding at each ridge was hard to miss.
Bridgerton had been playing, but if anything, at this point, it had become background noise, the main noise becoming the tension that thickened between the two of you with each passing minute. Although the relationship was close,the idea of intimacy was never something that had come up as a thought. Sober you, and sober him, would never do such a thing. Feeling that maybe it would cross a boundary.
But the usual thought did not cross your mind. Or his for that matter, Jisung’s digits generously spread across the outside of your thigh, dangerously close to your behind. It felt nice, honestly. Yes, you had your fair share of one night stands. Male attention followed you, easily, whether you were looking for it or not. With that being said, however, it had been a while since you remembered what a real man's touch felt like. Especially your best friend. Being a biology major, Jisung was consistently practical in the lab, using his hands in the most intricate ways. Whether looking at a small piece of bacteria in a microscope, or dissecting an organ of some sort, he was always using his hands, and boy, was that evident when you felt the texture of his callous palms spreading across the back of your leg.
The puffing came to a halt, joint burning down halfway to its bud, but it was enough to heighten your senses. The two of you looked at each other, eyelids a little more droopy than usual as the both of you giggled, looking back at the TV. By the time the two of you were actually paying attention to the storyline, Daphne and Simon were getting married.
“So what’s the premises?”
“Premises?” You giggled, finding humor in your best friend’s speaking mishap.
“Yeah like,” he paused, maneuvering your body to be closer to his, leaving now no room on the couch between the two of you, “like what’s the show about.”
“It’s a period romance show based on a series of books.”
“Ohh, I thought you didn't like to read, you fucking nerd.”
“Oi,” you nudged him, completely missing the side of his arm and falling onto his chest, “I don't, that’s why I'm watching the show instead.”
“Right, anyway, go on.”
“Right, so Daphne and Simon basically pretended to be together so this other guy, creepy as fuck, wouldn’t have to marry her. But then they realized they developed feelings for each other but are both inendial about it so they're discussing the topic on their wedding day and just going through with it because it was too late for them to change their mind.” If either of you did not see the irony in this situation.
“That literally made no fucking sense,” Jisung sighed, using his free hand to scratch the back of his head, “but to be honest, I really can’t concentrate on anything you’re saying.”
“Damnnn,” you gasped, leaning up to look at him, “you’re high.”
“Yeah pfft,” Jisung hummed, keeping his glazed eyes focused on you, “I feel like I can just say or do anything right now.”
“That’s the beauty of smoking Ji,” you smiled, turning away and facing the screen. It was at this point that married TV couples were in their honeymoon suite. If you were being honest, it was hard to keep up with the dialogue due to the speed and the actual content being in old english. It was much less difficult to follow the visuals, their facial expressions, how they spoke. It was still captivating, watching the two actors get close and closer, right until their lips met. As they continued, the room felt silent yet tense. The two of you watched adamantly as things began to heat up, Simon assisting Daphne in undressing herself. It was then that you felt Jisung adjust himself under your legs, brushing him off of you as he sunk back into the couch. You thought it was strange, but you decided it was better to ignore it, remembering how mesmerizing the scene of Daphne and Simon making love for the first time really was. As they moved to their new bed, Simon hovering over Daphne’s innocent body, a new sensation was forming in your lower abdomen, but it didn't stop there, unmistakably flying right to your core, again. While recalling how mesmerizing this particular scene was, you also forgot how much it aroused you simultaneously. This was a mistake. Being high and horny was not a good combination, especially when Jisung, your best friend, was sitting next to you, previously with his hands on you. It was probably better to disregard these lustful feelings, they surely would pass.
“Oh shit,” Jisung mumbled, grasping for the small decorative pillow next to him, placing it over his crotch area, “this is um, wow, it’s uh-”
“Yeah I kinda forgot,” you replied before facing him, noticing the now pillow covering the beginning of his lower limbs. At first you were confused, eyebrows furrowed at why he would do such a thing. Instead of minding your business, and beating the paranoia of not knowing what he was doing that was amplified after smoking, you were now holding the pillow, the sounds of Daphne’s moans and groans the only noise that could be heard. As soon as Jisung noticed your grip on the pillow, he resisted you, not wanting you to see what was happening underneath the soft object.
“Jisung,” you laughed nervously, genuinely confused at his behavior, “what are you doing with my pillow.”
“Nothing,” he hushed, attempting to dismiss your question with the tone of his voice floating thin into the air, “keep watching.”
He pointed at the screen, head nodding in the same direction as you let go of the pillow and focused on the TV. But that was the worst mistake you could have made, because it was Simon’s turn to undress, and once he did, it really was game over. The two of them there, completely naked as he began to thrust into his new wife. Simon’s grunts were short, staccato like, while Daphne was more graceful, each moan spilling into her husband's ear as the two of them went at it.
“Fuck this is making me really horny.”
As soon as your best friend said that, he brought his fingers to his lips, leaving your jaw dropped. Did he really just say that, or were you hallucinating?
“Woops,” Jisung mumbled, “the weed is really making me lose my filter. Sorry.”
You should have hated that he blurted that out. Letting the intrusive thoughts win, especially when high, was not a good sign. But it brought the ache that momentarily dulled right back. Looking back at the screen, Jisung now removed the pillow and revealed his full hard on through his thin fabric sweatpants: it was becoming too much. Now suddenly, the only thought that stayed consistent was wanting the same thing on the TV. Right here. Right now. With Jisung. Your best friend.
“Don’t be sorry,” you cooed, moving closer to him, “I would be lying if I said I wasn’t either.”
He said nothing, only gasping in a subtle manner as Jisung looked at you, all of a sudden your features projecting to him as illustrious, appetizing. Jisung wanted nothing more than to devour you in the current moment.
“Is this normal?”
Jisung’s voice was so nonchalant, tone lacking concern or hesitation at your lack of proximity. It was kind of adorable, really. The normal friend you knew was one to freak out if he ever did something like this. Usually so prim and proper in every setting. In contrast, there was something sexy about the way he was acting. Sure, actions had consequences, but thinking with clarity was not a priority.
“I would say so,” you purred, voice soothing as your fingers crept onto the front of his knee closest to you, “weed makes me horny too.”
“O-oh,” his voice shook, suddenly a little nervous by the prospect of you touching him in a possibly arousing way, “Y/n.”
Jisung’s voice was breathy, chest heaving very slowly as his eyes shot down to your body. Suddenly, your best friend was amazed by every single curve and creativity of your figure. As he brought his hands to your behind, it suddenly felt so soft, hands unforgivingly slipping past the waistband of your shorts, making direct contact with your skin. The contact made you hot, using your free hand to fan yourself. Jisung took the hand of yours that was moving deathly slowly along his inner thigh off of him, body now on his side facing you as he withdrew his hand groping your ass. Instead, he moved it around to the front, but rather than dipping straight into your folds, he slipped in the layer under your outer layer, opting for the space inbetween, digits spreading across your core covered by the miniscule fabric.. It was better this way, he thought. The sensation of touch was much more sensitive under the influence as he wanted to feel every texture of your body that was possible. You giggled at the brush of his gentle touch, a small gasp quickly following up once you realized that his fingers, although not making direct contact, were feeding that arousal felt between your legs. Like scratching an impossible itch. His eyes were already on you when your neck turned, facing him.
“Shit,” you breathed, “you’re really good at that.”
“I’m barely touching you,” he hissed, lips getting closer to your own. What is happening right now? You should be saying no; rejected his advances. Your best friend. Jisung. The shy, little boy you had known him to be all of his life. But the longer his fingers pushed around that sensitive button of yours, the more your legs spread open for him, hips gently bucking to reach for more surface area of his fingers. His confidence was charming, almost too much so. It made you want more and more, so much so that your internal conflict of stopping and telling him to keep going was disappearing with each lingering moment. Rationality, once a perplexity in your mind disappeared the moment his lips landed on yours. God they were sweet, soft; every texture that you know felt pleasant was coming to your mind the moment they moved against your own. His free hand came to the side of your face that was farthest away, index finger spread across your jaw as he moved his tongue, deeper and deeper, maintaining his dominance over you. Fuck he was a good kisser, a whine erupting from your throat at how flexible his mouth was, bending over backwards to make sure that you were happy with the pace.
“Mhm,” you hummed, pulling away from a brief moment to remove all bottoms, panties included. All your best friend could do was chuckle, deeply, the shade of his eyes turning as dark as you had ever seen when he saw your bare pussy out, for him. His fingers latched on immediately, using the index and middle finger on one hand to spread your lips, the other fingers on the opposite hand barely scratching your clit. The feeling almost made you wriggle out of your seat, mouth agape across Jisung’s cheeks in a sloppy effort to maintain composure of any sort.. Everything was happening so fast. All it took was barely one scene for the two of you to let down your guards. Pretending that your friendship meant nothing. It was never friendship. Jisung would be a ghost to you if the two of you had not been friends since childhood. Maybe there were in fact other reasons that the two of you stayed this way. The moans and groans of the girls he would have over, filling up the bare distance between your room and his, always had an effect on you. It was then when you started to question what he did to those girls to make them feel so good that you were doomed. It was easy to act like a crazy party girl in front of him, knowing that he would never want to be with someone like that, and by doing that, it would push those little feelings right down to where you had the ability to forget them. Avoidance was always key.
But then Jisung would bring you food while you were up doing an assignment, buy you a bouquet of flowers when it was your birthday. Even the way he would talk to your siblings back at home was enough. Jisung was enough and maybe now, by getting these hormonal feelings out, which felt like heaven, was enough to admit that this would not be just a high rendezvous for you, but something real.
“You’re like really wet,” Jisung hummed, sliding his fingers closer and closer to your whining entrance, “always wondering how you would’ve felt like this.”
“You have?”
“Oh yeahhhh,” Jisung replied, sarcastic, as if it was super obvious, “all the time.”
“Fuck that’s so hot,” you moaned, gripping his wrist, bringing the digits specifically up to your lips for a moment, taking his DNA into a deep thorating motion The two fingers he was about to use now utterly drenched in your slick before navigating them down your body, circling your entrance before effortlessly plunging them straight into your hole. Jisung could have creamed himself then and there. Due to the sensitivity of his first time being high, he knew that if he was going to fuck you today, he truly would not last long, at all. But instead of ruining the moment that way, he decided to make it all about you. Wanting to view you squirm under him, make his best friend: you feel good. It is something he has been patiently waiting for. Jisung was a giver, and if he wanted to give you a toe curling orgasm on your couch to make you happy, he was going to do so, whatever it took.
As soon as he fingers reached the end of your whole, the two of you moaned in unison, the sound of squelch that was your arousal already an intense volume.
“D-don’t think I’ve been this wet before,” you whined, waiting for Jisung to gently pull them out.
“Really,” he questioned, genuinely baffled, “no one ever made you this wet before? Find that hard to believe.”
Your hips wriggled, desperate to feel the friction of him moving back and forth. However he was so mesmerized by the texture of your velvety walls against his digits, that he used his other hand, coated in your slick, to relieve himself, the encounter resulting in Jisung becoming much too impatient to bother taking his pants off. Your eyes shot straight to the small motion you were witnessing of him moving his hand against his cock. Oh, his length must feel so good like this. Once Jisung began to move his fingers that were inside of you, a string of curse words easily fell from your lips, unable to control anything that came from them. The sensory overload was at peak, and if you were sober, feeling overwhelmed would be an understatement.
With that being said, you were not, and neither was Jisung. The brooding tip that was his cock gently nudged your inner thigh. As he continued to grow, it had nowhere else to go. The simplest of touches felt like a million times more than when under the influence. But it had to be a culmination of things. Seeing Jisung dominate in something, take control. Fuck. Hearing those girls in his dorm had more of an impact on you than you originally thought.
Your mind drifted to those memories for a brief moment, the faint moans of the girls, but it suddenly occurred that you never knew what he sounded like. Jisung was a silent fuck? There was no way.
Your gaze drifted, Jisung immediately noticing and pausing his fingers with immediate concern.
“Y/n?”
Your head turned back faster than your eyes, deep in motion. It was silent, the TV pretty much non-existent as you grabbed him by the jaw, index finger and thumb strong on his mandible as your eyes fixated on his lips.
“How come you never moan when you fuck?”
Jisung panicked at first, a laugh following immediately after, the contagious sound making you laugh too. Your body was limp for a brief moment, falling off of your best friend's lap and next to him on the couch. Jisung ripped his glasses off his head, throwing them onto the table in front of him, allowing him to get a genuine look at how hot and flustered you truly were. Solely because of him.
“What are you talking about,” he giggled, fingertips immediately grabbing the flesh of your thigh, any part of you was good to him, as long as he could get his hands on it, right now.
“How would you know if I’m a silent fuck or not?”
“Because,” you smacked him lightly, letting him remove his hand from your skin “I can hear when you fuck other girls, pfft,” you huffed, lifting your legs in the air to discard your bottoms that were puddled around your ankles, “they’re always so fucking loud man.”
Jisung’s cheeks blushed in the tiniest form. It’s not that he was embarrassed. Okay, maybe part of him was a little embarrassed, completely caught off guard and forgetting that the walls in the dorm were paper thin. Part of him felt guilty that you had to hear that. He began to pout, but immediately dropped his lips when he realized that you were half naked. His fingertip immediately wrapped around each hip, forcing you to sit on his lap and face him. You lifted your hips, eyes signaling down to his pants that were overdue in needing to be removed. Jisung complied immediately, whisking his sweats and boxers off in one motion, causing his hard length to meet with your soaked core, his tip prodding gently at your folds. You bit down on your lip trying as hard as you could to focus on Jisung’s face, rather than focusing on how erect his cock was against you. Jisung tugged at your shirt, gawking when you lifted your arms to see no other material supporting your chest. Jisung was mesmerized once again. Another surface area that he wanted his hands on immediately.
“I can’t believe you heard me fuck other girls and never said anyti-”
“Shhh,” you hushed, pressing your folds firmer against Jisung’s cock. Your best friend reach for your hips immediately, in shock of your bold actions, “I don’t fucking care Jisung it’s fine just touch me, please.”
“You don’t have to ask twice,” he huffed, palms snaking past your abdomen and gripping onto your tits hard, firm, rough. Ugh. Nothing had ever felt so good in your life. All this time you thought Jisung was a stupid little pathetic boy, with the occasional fuck here and there. God, it would almost make you laugh at how incorrect your perception was of him in the bedroom. Truth was, he knew what he was doing, because your arousal was doing nothing but increasing with each longing moment that his wood was not inside of you.
“Soft fucking tits,” Jisung mumbled, almost drooling as he slapped one of your nipples, the skin imeediadtely turning hard as he brought his lips to to the bud. His teeth appeared, claws like, as he took the same one in his mouth, not returning for breath as he nippled, licked, sucked; you name it, Jisung was doing that.
“Oh my god,” you groaned, head rolling back in pleasure, “how are you so good at everything you do?”
A chuckle escaped Jisung’s lips, the vibration felt across the entirety of your chest, “I’m not I-”
The two of you paused, freezing entirely when you heard Jisung’s phone ring. He glazed over, noticing the words “Mom” written across the top of the screen. He looked away as he turned back to you, that look of hunger dilating his pupils. The temporary freeze made Jisung long for you even more.
“Jisung,” you whispered, hands placed across his face and upper neck, “you should answer.”
“No,” he huffed, attaching his lips over your neck sporadically, “if it’s an emergency she’ll call me again. I’m busy.”
The phone was silent for maybe a few seconds, before it began to ring again. Jisung scoffed, removing his hands from you as he picked up his phone.
Your joint and lighter were in arms reach. You ignored the conversation, bringing the material to your lips and lighting it up again, your body relaxing even more as you took a deep breath in, feeling the substance sink into your skin, blowing out the remnants after. Your eyes turned to Jisung, his already on you, eyeing the joint in your hand. He leaned forward, waiting for you to put the joining between his lips. You complied, bringing the flame in unison. Jisung mumbled his words for a brief moment before blowing out the air.
“Yes mom,” he answered, “I’m fine. Y/n is fine, I just checked in on her.”
A small giggle came to your lips, followed by Jisung covering them. Removing his appendages, you decided to stand up, letting go of Jisung on his lap as you dropped to your knees. Like a predator, you crawled over, eye level with his knees. Jisung’s brows furrowed, taking him a bit of time to realize what you were about to do. He was still on the phone, talking to his mum about god knows what. That wasn’t your focus for now. It was spreading his legs wide, Jisung’s hardness evident as it spread across his groin. Your lips curled upward as you situations yourself where you needed to be, Jisung’s eyes widening as he realized what you were about to do.
“Yes I am s-sutdying hard,” Jisung shuttered, the sudden touch being your hand wrapped around the base of him startling him, “j-just finished one a-assignment today.”
A deep, lustrous chuckle escaped your mouth as you began to pump him, watching your best friend’s sensitivity, squirming at the touch. Jisung was doing everything in his power not to moan, prevent knowing how much effect you had on him, and form his mum knowing what he was doing.
“Mom can I c-call you back l-later, bit b-bust, busy right now.”
Jisung’s body jolts forward the moment he felt your tongue on the underside of him, making its way to his tip. He hung up the phone, tired of this torture as his hands found their way through your hands immediately. His sign of eagerness felt so good, the gentle tug from him begging you to go down on him completely driving you wild. The pain mixed in with pleasure immediately, traveling to your core and pulsating harder than it has ever felt in your life. Jisung was lengthy, but that was no problem. Beginning, slowly, you took him into your mouth, a guttural moan bleeding from his lips as his head rolled back with ease.
“Holy fucking shit,” he gasped, almost running of out of room to breath, “you’re so fucking good at this baby”
A slight moan fell from your lips at the use of the pet name. Jisung’s head snapped back down immediately to you, catching your gaze in an instant. Your eyes looked bigger to him, doe like. It was driving Jisung wild; he could’ve finished right then and there. Being high and having the elevated physical sensation from your magical touch was something he could live with forever, maybe become addicted to. If this is what life felt like under the influence, he now wanted this all the time.
“Mmmh,” you sighed, a large pop and breath coming from your lips as you replaced your hand, “you taste so good Sungie.”
Your free hand traveled down your body, descending to the apex between your thighs to satisfy that ache that was growing with intensity with every second passed. The attempt to hide your pleasure was amateur, biting down on your bottom lip as a stifled groan left your lips.
“Y/n, baby,” Jisung purred, leaning forward and grabbing your forearms, “come here.”
You did as you were told, helping him hoist you back onto his lap. The brush of him against you this time is 10x more powerful and intense. Nothing had ever felt like this before; you never wanted this to end. Jisung scanned you again, looking up and down one more time before seizing the hem of his shirt, ripping it over his head. You gasped, hands immediately clamping onto him as you leaned forward, reattaching your lips to his.
Above everything, Jisung’s lips felt the best. This symbolized so many times, conscious and unconscious, did you think about how they would feel. What they would taste like. How other girls thought Jisung’s lips tasted and felt like. Jisung smiled as he pulled away, the devilishly handsome smile on his face as he leaned into your ear, “sit next to me baby.”
It seemed that the only thing you could do was be obedient to Jisung. His orders were like music to your ears. In your friendship dynamic, you tended to be the more domineering one. Making decisions for Jisung, whereas he was the more nonchalant friend. Always happy to go with the flow, as long as he was with you. This time, may things were different.
Jisung sat in the same place with his legs spread. Leaning over, he grabbed you by the thigh closest to him, fingers dancing across the skin on the inside of your thigh as his lips turned upward again. All of a sudden you felt nervous. Watching your best friend ogle you was a strange feeling. Jisung immediately noticed your energy shift.
“Y/n.”
“Yeah,” your eyes widened, looking directly at him.
“You okay baby?”
“Yeah? Yeah! Sorry, let me have another puff.”
Jisung saw you grab the joint and the lighter again, bringing to your lips before he reached for your wrist, pushing the objects away, forcing your attention to be on him only.
“We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to.”
“No,” you interjected, bringing the material and lighting the tip once more, “I fucking want you. I just zoned out for a second.”
You pressed a kiss to his lips, followed by his cheek, back of the ear and down to his neck, cascading hisdown to the middle of his chest. Jisung giggled at the feeling, the tickling sensation emitting fire throughout his body. He returned the favor, placing a kiss atop of your breast before he reached for his own joint, handing you the lighter, “Will you do me the honors?”
“Fuck yes I will,” you marvelled at his enthusiasm, lighting up the joint without a hesitation, watching him sit back and close his eyes, taking everything in. You did the same, wanting to embrace that feeling that resulted in you buying this in the first place.
It was as if the last puff recharged your best friend, his eyes reopening, that dark, lustful caste creeping back into them as he reached for you, pushing your leg out of the way, hand clasping your inner thigh. There was no sign of his movement stopping, fingers already pushing your folds across, almost as if they were in the way completely. A sharp gasp fell from your lips the moment his middle finger touched your clit, the sensation overwhelming immense as he began to move in circular motions. Jisung’s touch was gentle, in reality, he was barely applying any pressure. But in this moment, the pleasure you were deriving from his fingers was tenfold. Eyelids were fluttering, it felt like you could barely keep up with him. It wasn’t until you saw Jisung’s cock twitch out of the corner of your eye that you knew what you had to do.
It was time for your hand to snake around his body, but, in contrast to Jisung, you did not want to wait. There was no time to tease; you were simply too desperate. Fingertips found his weak spot fast, dexterity sloppy wrapped around your best friend once again as you matched the pace he found on you. It was slow, sensual, anything to build the pressure between your thighs, and between his.
“Y/n, baby,” he whined, a deep groan following, “Your hands are my favorite part of you right now.”
A seductive chuckle escaped your lips, “Your hands are my favorite part of you right now too Sungie.”
“Fuck I love it when you call me that with your voice all fucked up and groggy.”
“Sungie baby, I always call you that,” you paused, bringing short circuiting from the finger that Jisung slipped inside of you, “what’s so d-different about it now.”
“You always turn me on Y/n,” Jisung grogged back, “always,” he smiled, pausing again, “especially right now.”
A small heat came to your cheeks, hips gently dragging across his fingers. God, was this what heaven felt like? Your hand picked up in speed, Jisung reacted immediately with a gentle whine. The noises he made to you were like an orchestra playing its grand piece. Another side of Jisung that you had not seen, but were mesmerized by. It was a whole new world. A whole new territory of risk that the two of you had decided to explore. However, all rational and logical decisions were thrown out the window a very long time ago. Jisung wrapped his free hand around your breast, clasping onto your nipple as he entered another finger into you, index and middle finger picking up their pace, adding the squelching sound of your wetness as another sound that filled your tiny dorm room. Dorm room. You forget momentarily how thin the walls were; but who gives a fuck? It’s not like Jisung was going to hear. He was the one that was making you moan over and over anyway.
“Sungie,” you whimpered, “feels so good.”
“Say my name like that again.”
“Sungie.”
“Fuck,” he growled, pushing deeper into your walls, “your pussies screaming for me.”
“It’s your pussy,” you breathed, the tremors of your release beginning to rumble, “no one has ever turned me on this much Sungie.”
Your best friend had a smirk of approval, curling the tip of his two fingers inside of you. A small shriek escaped your lips, hand flailing from his cock as your jaw dropped at once. Hips bucked up and off the couch, a sinister chuckle coming from Jisung as he watched your hips squirm for him. He was possessed by the way your body reacted to him, reacted to his touch, he did not pay two minds to the throbbing sensation between his legs. All he could see was that you were slowly losing it.
You did not care. You were waiting close and closer, deeper and deeper, hitting a spot that has never been touched in your life. Your mouth was getting bigger, hips moving with less and less rhythm. There was an impending feeling that you knew was going to happen, it was only a matter of seconds.
“Sungie I’m gonna-”
“I know baby,” Jisung cooed, eyes fixated on your face, pressing a gentle kiss to your jawline, “cum for me.”
A borderline scream left your lips when your hips plowed to the couch, an rupture of pleasure cascaded of the entirety of your body, legs shaking and howling in pain like they never had before. Your chest was breathing heavy, deep in unison with Jisung’s as he removed his fingers, your pussy aching from the lack of fullness. Jisung leaned over, pressing a kiss to your neck in several places before your lips. He waited until your eyelids stopped fluttering shut for you to see him bring those sinful digits to his mouth, and suck on them, hard, a deep groan leaving his lips at the taste.
“Fuck you taste good,” he winked, causing both of you to start giggling.
It did not take long for your eyes to travel to his still very hard cock. Your hands traveled immediately, both encompassing the majority of him before you began pumping, hard. To anyone with an outside view, this was not classy sex. It was sloppy, but the two of you were so high that it was perceived the former way. Jisung needed your touch, you needed to touch him. Jisung wasn’t far off either, and the fact that you were looking at him with vigor, with desire was bringing him closer and closer to the edge.
“Y/n slow down, I’m gonna cum too quick.”
“No such thing,” you purred, adding your tongue into the mix, flicking your tongue along the slit of his tip.. You leaned over, Jisung resting his hands across your ass as you coaxed one moan after out of him. Jisung’s head snapped back, unable to comply with the amount of pressure he was feeling. In a similar fashion to you, his hips began to buck, tip slipping into your mouth as his sounds got louder, his pleading becoming stronger.
“Y/n fuck, s-shit I’m gonna cum, Y/n I’m gonna cum.”
Jisung’s voice became whiny, the tone music to your ears as you moved your mouth away from his length, bringing your lips to the crook of his neck and collarbone, gently nipping on the soft spot on his skin as his muscles coiled underneath your body, cock getting harder under his hands as he hit his peak. Ropes and ropes of him squirted across his stomach, a deep groan, one sounding of relief bursting from his lips as he gripped your wrist, chuckling to stop you from a sensory overload.
“Holy shit,” he breathed, regaining his compures as he grabbed you by the neck, pulling you into a deep, deep kiss. The pressure on your neck was comforting, a smile turning on your lips as you pulled away.
“Wow,” Jisung gasped, “That was,”
“What took you so long?”
“Y/n, shut up,” Jisung spat, the fatigue hitting him suddenly, “woah, I’m fucking exhausted.”
“I tend to have that effect on people,” you smirked, the room erupted in laughter as Jisung laid back on the couch, pulling you into him as the two of you looked at the ceiling. Your substance affected mind was starting to wear off, causing your exhaustion tenfold. The two of you drifted off to sleep almost immediately.
“When I wake up, you're gonna get it,” Jisung mumbled, but you were already asleep.
Depending on how you felt when you woke up, that would change everything.
#han jisung#han jisung smut#han jisung fic#han jisung scenario#stray kids#stray kids smut#stray kids fic#han jisung x reader#stray kids x reader#jisung#jisung smut#jisung fic#jisung scenario#jisung x reader#ch4nb4ng
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Salty rant v2
This is basically me angrily screaming about Ford again (wow what a surprise) to a wall (myself, my rotten brain and my blog) so feel free to skip this
Fuck it I'll bite
Gf fans when you tell them Ford had every right to be mad at Stan for ruining his Project (he saw it as the only chance to prove himself and get accepted in his dream school, and even tho WE know it was an accident, Ford doesn't he thinks it was a purpose sabotage and it really doesn't help that Stan didn't told him which resulted in him making a fool of himself Infront of ppl he wanted to impress and then Stan tried to pass it off as something that didn't matter even tho it mattered so much to Ford, like of course he'd be mad everyone would be mad in his position)
Gf fans when you tell them it's not Ford's fault that Stan got kicked out it's all Filbricks fault (seriously guys, blame the fucking abusive father, not the 17 year old living in an abusive household)
Gf fans when you tell them standing up against an abusive person (especially if they're your parent) is hard to do for yourself let alone for someone else
Gf fans when you tell them Ford wasn't the "golden/favourite child" Filbrick dgaf about him and only wanted to use his intelligence for money and both Ford and Stan were abused just in different ways (seriously find a different dynamic to describe an abusive household than "golden child" and "scapegoat" I say as I put a gun in your head)
Gf fans when you tell them Ford wanting to go to college isn't egotistical
Gf fans when you tell them Ford wanting to make a name for himself doesn't make him egotistical (he literally grew up in an abusive household, and was bullied and treated like an outcast for most of his life, him seeking out validation is a trauma response not egotism)
Gf fans when you tell them if Ford is petty for correcting Stan's grammar then Stan is equally as petty for refusing to hold his hand over a thank you literally seconds ago (of course he had the right to want him to thank him and be mad, but it was the END OF THE WORLD, they are both responsible in that scene)
Gf fans when you tell them Ford isn't ignorant for being manipulated by Bill cuz 1) Bill is a master manipulator who's managed to manipulate and terrorise humanity since forever using lies/flattery/fear 2) despite having a high IQ he has a low EQ and therefore isn't able to tell if someone has ill intentions due to being....an outcast and therefore doesn't have the social skills to be able to tell others true intentions/manipulations which made him an easy victim for Bill (do u guys even know what manipulation means)
Gf fand when you tell them the reason why Ford didn't try to reach out to Stan was because he thought he was doing fine since he had seen an ad of his on tv (he had no way of knowing Stan was still homeless anymore, and you don't usually see homeless people's ads on tv), not because he didn't care
Gf fans when you tell them Ford didn't force Fiddleford to do shit for him, and that he was against the use of the memory gun and wanted him to get rid of it but Fiddleford literally erased his memories of it so he could continue using it. And that therefore Ford isn't to blame for everything that happened with the memory gun just cuz Fiddleford had bad coping mechanisms. (Seriously you all are acting as if he pointed the memory gun on his head and forced him to abandon his family and build him the portal. No!! Fiddleford made those decisions himself he could had left Gravity Falls at any moment and return to his family but no he didn't, he chosed to stay and start a fucking cult. That is on him. Not on Ford)
Gf fans when you tell them the way Ford acted during the time where he was literally being abused, manipulated and isolated by a demon is way more complex and naused than "ego! ego!".. because he was literally being abused and manipulated...
Gf fans when you tell them the reason why Ford called Stan to hide his journals wasn't because he only wanted to use him as a way to fix his mistakes but because he was literally really desperate and feared for the safety of the world and he didn't have anyone else he could trust and that he was hella traumatized due to being literally tortured both physically and phycological and sleep deprived and on the bring of insanity (of fucking course he wasn't gonna act logically and say mean shit he didn't actually mean, he was losing his mind! Stan had also said mean shit to him because he was angry but nobody talks about that)
Gf fans when you tell them Ford being mad at Stan for opening the portal is understandable, because 1) he literally ignored all the warnings that the portal could potentially destroy the whole world and 2) he was literally about to FINALLY killing Bill after 30 years of fighting for his life in the multiverse to try and find a way to
Gf fans when you tell them Ford's trust issues are completely understandable because he was literally betrayed, manipulated and abused by the "person" he trusted the most (Bill). And the other two people he trusted did something that hurt his trust on him (Fiddleford erasing his memories, Stan ruining his project)
Gf fans when you tell them Ford's and Bill's relationship isn't "toxic yaoi/messy divorce!" And that it was incredible abusive and that FORD was a victim ( average gf fan claims they "don't romantize/support the toxic ((call it abusive guys, that's literally what it is)) elements of this ship I just like to explore unhealthy dynamics in fiction:) *proceeds to make 10 posts of "he fucked the triangle!" jokes and gets mad at you if you actually point out the abuse and makes 100 aus where they get back together/stay together*
Gf fans when I tell them that I really don't care about what Alex has said about Ford being "egotistical" or "ignorant" because that's also the same guy who said he didn't intended for Pacifica to come off as a victim of abuse because controlling your child with a bell is total normal parent behaviour guys (/s). (I stopped listening to most of the stuff he said after that, not gonna lie, cuz most of the stuff he says about Ford's "ego" and "ignorance" are flat out victim blaming) ((I mean come on guys, he literally says he based Ford's and Bill's relationship off REAL LIFE toxic relationships he's seen and then he goes and says shit like how it's Ford's own "ego and ignorance" fault that he's ended up in that situation. Don't you guys think that's a bit weird))
#gravity falls#ford pines#stanford pines#okay I'm gonna be brave today and main tag this#I hope I won't regret it later#honestly the only thing I can't really defend him on is all that with dipper#but at the same time. he wasn't trying to separate them. he saw that dipper was like him and wanted to do what he thought was the best for#him.#okay he was projecting a bit with that “isn't it suffocating?” comment but at the same time#my dude's social skills had always been shitty and he literally hasn't interacted with a person in like 30 years#he wasn't fucking trying to manipulate him#something something#the way this fandom treats Stan's trauma vs Ford's trauma is so different and it makes me ick#people tend to sympathise with Stan while tone down the trauma and abuse Ford suffer because they don't see him as a victim#which is like bizarre to me I want to say that it's cuz he's not a perfect victim but neither is stan yet ppl still acknowledge his trauma#and I swear to god it wasn't as bad as this BEFORE tbob#my main theory atm is that it's the result of B1llford shippers wanting to desperately ignore the fact their ship is. in fact. abusive.#by trying to make out Ford to be this terrible selfish egomaniac monster as a way to say “look he's terrible too! they deserve eachother!”#and people acting being stupid enough to believe it (media literacy is dead nowadays)#and then stanley and fiddleford stans also started to desperately wanting to earse them of their own flaws and fucks uo to make them more#sympathetic by blaming everything on ford
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So I took a little bigger bite of gummy than usual and THEN Daci insisted we watch like a half hour of tiktoks together that they'd saved (lol 90% of them were Arcane jokes, including King Princess repeatedly being a troll) so by the time I got in the shower I was already feeling it. So if my typing or sentences get weird or bad you know why
This is one of those episodes I've literally only watched twice tbh
oh hey it's my tumblr background (on desktop)
I forget why they were sleeping outside lol it doesn't matter
But Glimmer's right the person who snores loudest is always the one to fall asleep first
okay so when Adora first sees the sword and tells Catra she's like "are you brain damaged???" Adora tells Glimmer "I thought I saw something" and Glimmer's like "pssht whatever" can people stop dismissing Adora seeing shit lol (edit: foreshadowing. right.)
oh right Im watching this for Castaspella in my 60's fic lol
"I've never relaxed in my life" lol we know
I know she's not the focus of this episode I'm just happy to see her heyyyy bb
(also has anyone watched bits of this show so many times they can pick out the styles of specific storyboarders/animators? not that I know their names, but like "whomever did this scene did this other scene." anyway whomever did a few random bits of this episode worked on parts of Moment of Truth)
ALSO ahahah I caught the moment she reacts to Adora's name
...I need to learn how to edit vids, I still want to make one of every time one of them reacts to the other's name/voice, bc once you notice that they do it every time, you can't UNnotice
Catra: ugggh another Adora mission, fine, when do I leave? (like girl you are acting so reluctant but ahahah)
Shadow Weaver: Nope, I'm gonna do it myself. Clearly, no one else can be trusted to bring her back to the Horde, least of all you!
Man SW realllllly loves to rub into Catra's face that her attempts at getting Adora back haven't worked, that's gotta sting
SW's voice actor was so good
SW: creates a terrifying monster
Catra:
is terrified
writing her as a hippie/shop owner who is also a bit new-agey and ALSO, a wine aunt, is gonna be so funny and fun okay
"Oh, Light Spinner, she's just a scary tale for children" I mean....she does...scare children...
Adora has ADHD. Also Aimee had fun recording this I bet lol
Bow: sounds like this Shadow Weaver really did a number on you growing up
Anyone else reminded of the first time they told a story from their childhood and the other person reacted with horror? anyway
lol I remembered that SW pretended to be other people and taunted Adora in Catra's voice but I didn't remember when so I still fucking JUMPED when she did the "Hey, Adora"
TBH this episode's plot is half "so SW is an abusive piece of shit, and Adora and her friends are starting to realize this"
Gahhh the bit of SW talking with Catra's voice and saying "SW controls us both, she always has" is so fucking creepy. Bc she's acknowledging she's, well, controlling.
oh hey did you know that Hordak's voice actor also did Kino (Mel's brother) in Arcane
SW pretending to be Glimmer and Bow and being a huge asshole to Adora is hard to watch ahhh
The only thing worse is watching her do the extremely typical abuser speech, but ...the kind a partner usually gives, not a parent! "they don't understand you, only I do, your friends don't really like you, they're just using you, you can only trust me"
gyahhhhh
y'know....I just realized. She knew Catra and Adora were close. She blames Catra to some extent for Adora leaving. She has Catra try to get her back multiple times and fail.
Which means at this point she thinks their friendship was entirely one-sided. Like, she could've used Catra's voice to beg her to come home, and she didn't.
I hope for every abused kid to have this moment
"this is what SW does. She manipulates people, she pushes them apart." yeah
lol I couldn't get one where she wasn't making a weird face bc she's talking but eheheh
"If you want to take down Adora, you have to go for the heart." She's looking at Bow through that spying bowl but....CATRA. she misses YOU. she cares about them but she also cares about you :(
also THE HEART YOU SAY???? (was this intentional foreshadowing)
the next episode is Princess Prom, but I'm not watching that one tonight
As it is. I know social media is a minefield atm. Anyone who started watching the last three eps of Arcane the moment it dropped is done.
What's funny is that I intentionally spoiled myself for the last season of She-Ra because I knew I wouldn't be able to watch it for a few DAYS
but Arcane we're watching tomorrow, and I want to know SO BAD whether or not they fuck, but I want to find out when Daci does, via watching it!!!
So don't tell me anything.
Can’t wait to engage in one of my fave midnight hobbies: get high as balls and rewatch bits of She-Ra and sometimes post screenshots with overemotional/horny captions
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I think what so many people don't really get is that nine times out of ten, a child who dosowns their parent/s don't do it on a whim, where the parent is just a victim of circumstance.
On the contrary, we disown our parents for so many reasons, often because of unspeakable abuse, or even because the parent is simply not a good or nice person.
It's important to remember this because when you side with parents/guardians every single time, you will likely be siding with somebody who has inflicted so much harm onto their child. Do you want that blood to wind up on your hands?
#abuse#abuse tw#abuse mention tw#i have yet to meet a person who just... decided 'welp i just don't want parents anymore hehe'#like we WANTED parents. but that parent or those parents didn't want us#speaking as a kid who's disowned a couple parents because of abuse :) (sarcasm on the smiley face)#to clarify: no i didn't disown my dad since i have talked about him here before
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Great and Tyme being worried about each other
4MINUTES (2024) EP. 5
#4 minutes#4 minutes the series#greattyme#thaidrama#uservix#userrlaura#raeblr#userbon#mjtag#rinblr#esmetracks#userrlana#userpetri#tusersilence#dramasource#dailyasiandramas#asianlgbtqdramas#fyeahthaidramas#tansgifs#gifs:fourm#i made this so i could stare at their expressions during those scenes truly masterclass in acting#the way you can feel great's pain in the 4th gif when tyme yells to let them try to kill him#the way great is just searching for anything to grasp at when showing his worry about tyme's well being didn't work in the 6th gif#and great desperately saying his grandma#he is so split between holding onto his parents and holding onto tyme because he doesn't want to lose what they have#and clearly he knows asking tyme to do it for him alone wouldn't work not only because he has no right to#but also because he simply doesn't think he even mean that much to tyme. it's not like he knows what it's like to mean stuff to people#i mean shit look at his relationship with his parents. so he uses grandma and it works#anyways i love the little smiles in gifs 14 15 16 when he can feel that tyme is worried about him#all i'm gonna say about tyme is we need to put that man on suiciide watch. anyways that's what I can say from great pov
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I hope to God that this show doesn't try to bring the Buckleys back just so they can be assholes to Buck about his bisexuality because this man doesn't need anymore bullshit from those two, especially now.
And if they do choose to bring them back for that which I fucking pray they don't, it better be so that Buck can finally and rightfully cut them off and Maddie backs him on it.
#911#911 show#911 abc#911 on abc#911 season 7#911 s7#911 s7 spoilers#911 speculation#evan buckley#911 buck#maddie buckley#911 maddie#buckley siblings#anti buckley parents#the looks on their faces at the hospital said it all#they did not like buck being with tommy#and I know that the second they were out of the room they were losing their shit over it#but they didn't want to ruin Maddie's day#honestly the buckley parents getting trashed is the only way I can forgive this show for letting Phillip walk maddie down the aisle#it should've been buck#and I stand ten toes down on that#and I don't need those fuckers shooting looks at tommy or saying how buck is going through a phase#and if they do I need the firearm and/or Eddie to read them for filth#or they can give us a love me anyway 2.0#minus the familial forgiveness#but seriously can we stop with that trope now
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SEASON 3
- okay the camping trip + camino arc is like 3 naruto arcs in one (kota hating heroes and getting saved by deku = that kid from the land of the mist hating heroes and getting saved by naruto, a troop of some bad guys taking bakugo, the deuteragonist, because they want him to join their league = orochimaru's lackeys taking sasuke away, the fact that they had a competition and some exams in order to be able to go to the camping trip = the different parts of the chuunin exams).
- here's the thing i've noticed, before anyone says im comparing bnha to naruto too much: i think horikoshi uses a lot of popular shonnen tropes and pays a bunch of homages to other shonnen manga on purpose. what purpose? the subversion of expectations. here's the thing, if you're a new watcher who has already watched a bunch of different shonnen animes (like me with naruto), when you see bakugo being taken by the league, even if you don't immediately think of sasuke, you still might guess that now bakugo is going to turn evil, because that's how the story usually goes. instead, horikoshi reminds us bakugo isn't sasuke or your average shonnen deuteragonist, and reestablishes the core values of this character. the reason i draw so many parallels to naruto is because it's the shonnen anime im most familiar with, but im sure a one-piece/hxh/bleach/dgbz/etc fan could do the exact same thing.
- tl;dr: what im trying to say is that the ways in which horikoshi draws inspiration from other shonnen anime isn't lazy; it's not that he doesn't have ideas so he copies. i think he's actually very clever in the way he handles all those influences. thank you for coming to my ted talk.
- anyway back to plot
- i can't believe deku's mom gets hate for literally being a good parent. of course she's not going to want her son at UA after everything she's seen. not all anime single mothers can be mito-san (hxh), and they don't need to be.
- deku's arms are like. about to die. and im not saying that this is never brought up again, but i feel like in the later seasons he didn't exactly hold back. although he's literally trying to come up with a technique so that he can use them again, so idk. iida's hand injury hasn't really been brought up yet either.
- i forgot to mention this before, but shigaraki uses a lot of videogame analogies (he calls big heroes "final bosses", for example) in the same way that deku uses a lot of comic book analogies (if this was a comic book, he would be the protagonist" said by deku about todoroki).
- but it's interesting because, in shigaraki, i think this is used to showcase his immaturity: we associate videogames to kids, and so by using these sort of analogies the author reinforces the childish characterization of the antagonist.
- deku, on the other hand, uses comic book analogies for the sake of meta jokes with the audience (saying todoroki would be the protagonist when he's actually the protagonist of his comic book), which goes back to all the different homages and references horikoshi does to other shonnen manga and anime. i think bnha doesn't get enough credit for how meta it is.
- i like how you can tell bakugo is changing during the provisional license exam, not just in regards to his relationship with deku but also with other classmates. like when he's about to be turned into a weird meat-like thing (some guy's quirk) he tosses his weapon to kaminari because he's confident that kaminari will know how to use it.
- lmao deku vs. kacchan pt 2 is really bakugo going "hey btw im traumatized due to recent events but mostly i've always been severely insecure and that's why i bullied you so why did you always follow me?" and deku replying "bitch bffr i hate you but you're like the coolest guy i know"
- i know i've said it a lot but i really love the foil-like relationship of bkdk and how it's written.
- something idk if i have mentioned at this point or not is that i love uraraka and tsuyu. they're my favorite classmate-characters. but honestly, i appreciate much more the effort that the author put into writing each individual character and making them consistent in their personalities, at least up until the end of the third season.
things im noticing as i rewatch bnha, an ongoing thread:
SEASON 1
- deku really was such a nerd lmao he's just like me fr (like i KNEW but i didn't remember how much i could relate to it. oops.)
- it's also interesting that he always fights back against bakugo and calls him an idiot a lot. idk why (probably because of fandom characterization) i remembered early-seasons deku as a lot more innocent and scared of bakugo. like, here's the thing, deku is scared of pretty much everything at the start because he's shy/anxious. he gets nervous talking to most of his classmates (especially, but not only, girls) when he first meets them and starts trembling when he gets elected as class president before handing the role to iida. so basically, his anxiety isn't reserved to bakugo like i remembered – if anything, he seems to get over his fear of getting bullied by him pretty quickly once he realizes he can fight back.
- kaminari tried to ask uraraka out in their first or second day of school and she was like "uhhh i like to eat... uhh... WAIT DEKU CAME BACK FROM THE NURSE'S OFFICE" lol i really didn't remember that
- bakugo's insecurity was always there. as you're reading this you might be thinking i first watched mha with my eyes closed or sth, and you're not very far from the truth. here's the thing, i first watched it when i was like 14-15, so all i knew back then was that bakugo was insufferable and i didn't think further than that. of course, he ended up becoming one of my favorite bnha characters after reading all of the manga, but it's cool to realize his character arc was foreshadowed from the beginning and didn't just magically start around season 3.
- but yeah, anyway, bakugo's insecurity and his envy over deku's natural noble nature was always there, since season 1. also, deku's real admiration over bakugo was also there. like, going back to my other point, deku wasn't just Not Overly Scared of bakugo, he actually looked up to him despite knowing he was deeply flawed. tbh they were always a bit crazy about each other.
- uraraka is so funny i love her.
- all of class 1A was so chaotic good coded
- like they collectively made fun of bakugo on the bus to USJ for being rude lol. they really bonded over their shared dislike for the guy.
- bakugo gets fucking HUMBLED all of s1. i would also be irrationally angry ngl.
- the dialogues in the first season sometimes are so unnatural for the sake of exposition, like all might telling recovery girl: "do you mind not talking so loudly ab OFA? only you, a close friend, the principal, and midoriya know about OFA. but most professors and some pro heroes also know about my condition and not being able to fight for more than 3 hours a day" like WHO TALKS LIKE THAT ??!1?1?
- deku had to go to recovery girl's office a total of 4 times (if i counted correctly) for broken limbs of fingers in HIS FIRST WEEK of school. which is funnier considering no one else from class 1A had to go even once.
- damn shigaraki was a skinny legend before he got OP
- aizawa did not react at all when he first saw kurogiri (about the shirakumo thing). that was surprising.
- also. AIZAWA IS SO BADASS?? like yes i knew he was badass from the later seasons, but i genuinely didn't remember his first fighting sequence at USJ where he single-handedly fights like at least 20 villains.
- i had also forgotten that shigaraki calls eraserhead "really cool" so early on in the anime, i thought it was a later-seasons thing.
- this is really obvious but i had forgotten the all might theme's resemblance to superman's theme. it's such a cool little detail tho!
- uraraka and deku definitely were crushing on each other when they first met, but i think it's nice that they ended up developing a really strong friendship instead of getting together after hori didn't consistently develop them romantically. it also makes a lot more sense narratively, like why would we care who deku ends up with at the end of his first year of UA when the story actually ends 8 years after that, and it's very unlikely that you marry the same person you started dating when you were 15. idk, i liked that. i like that you can have two characters who maybe have a crush on each other but can't focus on that due to Circumstances and eventually move on and become good friends. it's a win for the platonic department!
- the animation was kinda bad in the first season 😭 but it's understandable and i had fun watching it regardless.
okay im done with s1 tune in for s2 !!
#mha season 3#mha s3#bnha season 3#bnha rewatch#bkdk#bkdk meta#bnha meta#meta#ochako uraraka#tsuyu asui#izuku midoriya#inko midoriya#katsuki bakugo mha#all might#all for one#bnha analysis#mha analysis
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