#like ur microwave and stove

[mysoulismelting]

Dear people who experienced daylight savings:

It has started.

If you have any clocks on your stove/microwave remember to adjust them appropriately.

Same for any wall/table/grandfather clocks especially if they're wind up now would be the time.

Alarm clocks too! I don't use an alarm clock but for those who do make sure it's the right time so you don't end up being alarmed at the wrong time.

Almost all phones already adjust to the time difference, but just in case it's a good idea to check your time settings.

Even if this ends up being unnecessary it's better to be safe than sorry, I'm honestly not sure if the digital clocks we use today adjust automatically like phones...

But...

how are you supposed to stab Cesar if you are late???

Being late already sucks, now imagine being late to a historical event that could've got ur name out there. Now you're forgotten by history cause you couldn't adjust your clocks before the assassination. Sucks to suck.

(yes I know daylight savings wasn't a thing so many decades ago when Cesar was stabbed... But it is now!!! Get with the times people)

Also, if you're unsure whether daylight savings is used in your country, a quick Google will give you ur answer.

[scribefindegil]

Scribe's Favorite Hot Chocolate

(in case a comforting beverage will help stave off the existential despair)

You Will Need:

4 cups of your favorite milk

2 oz bittersweet chocolate (if you use Ghirardelli chips 2 oz is a third of a cup. you could use semisweet but you'd want to cut the sugar back by a tablespoon or so)

1/4 cup granulated sugar

1/2 tsp vanilla extract

tiny pinch of salt

optional but recommended: 1-2 cinnamon sticks and any other desired spices (when I'm feeling fancy I like to add a handful of whole peppercorns, a couple of cloves, and some cardamom pods. follow ur heart)

To Make:

Put the milk and spices in a pot on the stove over medium-low heat. Don't leave it alone; milk explodes if you let it fully boil!

Put the chocolate in a mug or bowl (I just use whatever mug I'll be drinking the cocoa out of) with just enough water to cover. Microwave for 30 seconds, then whisk until smooth. (This is to help the chocolate dissolve; if you put it straight into the milk pot instead of beautiful smooth cocoa you will get a lot of weird freckly chocolate bits)

When the milk just starts to steam (or when a single drop on the back of your hand feels uncomfortably hot), turn off the heat! Add sugar, vanilla, and salt, and stir until sugar dissolves. Then add the chocolate (if chocolate is too thick to pour, spoon a little hot milk in and stir to lighten it)

If you're using spices, let the hot chocolate sit for 5-10 minutes so the flavors continue to infuse

Enjoy and share with friends <3

If you don't drink it all you can keep leftovers in an airtight container in the fridge for a couple of days, but I don't usually have this problem

[tteokdoroki]

hard sukuna this rough sukuna that what abt soft sukuna who holds u through the night just letting u exist in his arms ?? idk I'm running on four hours of sleep bestie so hopefully this is typed out right lmao </3 i hope ur doing okay today too aa and i love miso's pretty collar <33

soft sukuna who’s basically like a huge guard dog. he looks scary on the outside, thick black tattoos and sharp angled features. he’s menacing to anyone who doesn’t know him but to you he’s the sweetest most gentle person in the world :(

he swipes food at the corner of your mouth with his thumb so softly his touch feels like that of a ghost. the first thing sukuna does when he sees you is open his arms wide and pull you into his chest, pressing a kiss to your hairline because he wants to tell you he missed you without telling you he missed you.

when you work late sukuna has a bath already ran for you and dinner in the microwave or on the stove waiting for you because he hates it when you bring work home feel shitty after a days work.

sukuna is all small gestures rather than words, he takes care of the little things for you like the dishes or sorting mail or grabbing something you forgot during grocery shopping. he likes to hold you and tuck you in, give you massages and help you get rid of headaches!!

sukuna is good and tender :(

[screechingnebula]

Ran: Which one of u was going to tell me that tea tastes different if u put it in hot water??

Rindou: Y- you were putting it in cold water ??

Izana: Ran. Answer the question, Ran.

Ran: Yeah ??? I thought people just put it in hot water to speed up the tea-ification process. didn't realize there was an actual reason

Ran: Plus u think I have the patience to boil water?

Izana: You don't have the patience to microwave water for 3 minutes??

Kakuchou: why are u putting it in the microwave to boil it?

Izana: Do you think I have the patience to boil water on the stove?

Mochi: It takes less than a minute

Rindou: Is your stovetop powered by the fucking sun

Mochi: How long does it take you to boil a cup of water on the stove

Rindou: Like seven minutes??

Shion: Just stick the mug on top of the stove on medium heat n it boils in like 2 minutes . . less than that u use a saucepan

Kakuchou: Why are you putting the whole mug on the stove ?? On medium heat ? ? Shion? Ur stove is enchanted

Sanzu: Every single person here is a fucking lunatic

Mucho: Do none of you own a fucking kettle?

Mucho is afraid his friends are not leaving a good impression on Sanzu rip

[satanfemme]

ok I think some of the shroom executive functioning affects might've been permanent after all. it's been like over a month and although things aren't as easy for me as they were for that first week post-trip, I AM still doing dishes at a faster rate than pre-trip. and I'm also cooking on the stove & in the oven pretty regularly. which I neverrrr did pre-trip. and what prompted this post: I ordered groceries yesterday and they gave me like 2 dozen eggs by mistake. and I was like "wtf am I going to do with 2 dozen eggs, I don't cook eggs". except I do cook now, apparently, so I've been cooking and eating fresh eggs. last night I had a scrambled egg + veggie burger sandwich (I also cooked the veggie burger myself btw. I've been getting really into learning how to cook burgers). and for lunch just now? buldak ramen + 2 over easy eggs stirred into the noodles. buldak ramen Boiling Water Method btw. NOT microwave method. because I use the stove top now. anyway woowwwwwww wowowow cooking eggs is not that hard at all when ur executive dysfunction is only "pretty bad" instead of "incredibly bad". did u know about this? that cooking fresh eggs is easy? you just put that shit in a pan and then like 5 minutes later you've got a cooked egg. insane. we need to tell people about this shit. in case they were unaware. we need to alert the press.

[urhoneycombwitch]

your Eddie lava lamp idea reminded me of of my thought that Wayne probably lets Eddie smoke at the trailer (like Regina's mom in Mean Girls, he'd rather he do it at the house lol) but he has banned him from using the microwave/stone after he came home to popcorn absolutely charred in the microwave and they had to buy a whole new one

so now when Eddie's run out of his munchy snacks like pretzels or crackers and he wants something heated, he has to call reader to supervise 😭

Eddie has absolutely started small stove fires while high before. he is banned from operating any heat sources and any complex electronics by Wayne for SURE

U and Wayne have a pact. if Wayne’s out of town you’re on tripsitting duty… even if you end up getting stoned, too, you’re the one holding Eddie back from his weed-fueled ideas (he comes out of his room holding the most insane combination of things like a lighter and a bunch of ballpoint pens and an empty tin can and a bottle of lotion (⁉️) like “I have an idea 😎👆” and ur like “nope. absolutely not. go put all of that shit back” and he slinks back to his room so disappointed 😔 recovers quickly when you load up a Muppets VHS. sits wayyyy too close to the TV)

[rwby-encrusted-blog]

I would love to see this with characters from RWBY. In case you can't use the link, just type 'Tea tastes different when you boil it' www youtube com shorts x-Np_EWljPc

Ruby: Was anyone gonna tell me Tea tastes different when you put it in Hot water?

Blake: You- You were putting it in cold water?

Ruby: ...

Pyrrha: Ruby. Answer the Question Ruby.

Ruby: *Sigh* I though for 5 years that people put it in hot water to speed up the tea-ification process, I didn't know there was an actual reason.

Jaune: You don't have the patience to put water in the microwave for three minutes?

Nora: Why are you. Putting it in the Microwave to boil it.

Jaune: Do you think I have the Patience to boil water on the Stove?

Nora: It take less than a minute.

Jaune: Bestie, is your stove top powered by the Fucking sun?

Nora: How long does it take you to boil a cup of water on the stove?!?!

Jaune: Like, Seven minutes!

Nora: Just stick the Mug on top of the Stove at medium heat and it boils in like, two minutes. less if you use a saucepan.

Jaune: *Crying* You put the Whole mug on the Stove?!? On medium Heat?!?! Ur Stove is enchanted.

Ren: Every single person in this discussion is a fucking lunatic.

Yang: Do none of you own a fucking Kettle?

[tokyo-chainsaw-dragon2]

Paz: Which one of you was going to tell me that tea tastes different if u put it in hot water?

Otacon: Y-you were putting it in cold water??????

Venom Snake: Paz, answer the question, Paz.

Paz: yeah??? I thought for like. 5 years that people just put in hot water 2 speed up the tea-ification process didn't realize there was an actual reason. You think I have the patience to boil water, wtf????

Kazuhira: You don't have the patiance to microwave water for 3 minutes?

Revolver Ocelot: Why are you putting it in the microwave to boil it?

Kazuhira: Do you think I have the patience to boil water on the stove.

Revolver Ocelot: It takes less than a minute.

Kazuhira: Dude, is your stovetop powered by the fucking sun?

Revolver Ocelot: How long does it take you to boil a cup of water on the stove?

Kazuhira: Like seven minutes. Just stick the mug on top of the stove on medium heat n it boils in like two minutes...less than that is use a saucepan...

Revolver Ocelot: *on the verge of tears* You're putting the whole mug on the stove???? On medium heat??? Ur stove is enchanted.

Venom Snake: Every person in this room is a fucking lunatic.

Skull Face: DO NONE OF YOU OWN A FUCKING KETTLE?

[pumpkinsy0]

i think im getting sick and the only way im going to make it through this is having some papercut taking care of each other when they're sick hcs. so please, for a possibly sick girls wish.... give me some hcs....

of course,,,anything for u anon,,

pony taking care of curly

•curlys the kind of guy to deny he’s sick, he could sound and look like he has the second coming of the black plague and he’d try to ignore it, thats something that he got from tim, pony has to FORCE him to lay down

“its just allergies”

“allergies do NOT look like that, curly”

•curly is such a agitated s.o.b when hes sick, even if he only has a stuffy nose hes annoyed, cause he finds it SO annoying

•its a chore to get him to even sit up to take medicine, he just wants to be left alone in the dark forever, what a wimp

•he will be abusing the fact that ponys taking care of him though, pony basically becomes his butler, he WILL call pony for any little thing, pony said he was there to take care of him so he WILL🙄🙄

•he completely loses his appetite so pony has to force feed him

curly taking care of pony

•oh BOY, does pony NOT want this at all, last time he was sick, curly wanted to be sweet and stay in bed w him but he forgot that the fucking stove was on still and nearly burnt the place down AND the soup

•curlys restricted to just using canned foods now, which pony will TAKE, curly can microwave foods semi fine so at least he feels safer than before

•the shepards have a lifetime supply of ginger ale and sprite, now why sprite??? curly says its bc “theyre both colorless so they r both good for u when ur sick”, pony just stared at him for a sec n side before taking the sprite

•HOW MANY TIMES MUST I TELL YALL, CURLY WILL BE WHIPPING OUT THAT VICKS VAPORRUB AND LWIL MASKRITI🗣️🗣️🗣️ u dont need a doctorates in the shepard house when ur sick,,all u need r those two things

•curly would still kiss and be around pony, he says it takes a lot to get him sick anyways

them both sick and “taking care of each other”

•theyre both fucking annoying my god, just in bed whining and crying

•its like they wanna b close to each other but at the same time it is NOT the temperature to b doin allat

•they dont even warm up their food, they just open up a can of chicken noodle soup, get too spoons and go to town

•honestly theyre as free as they wanna b when it comes to being close to each other, they kiss, cough without covering their mouths, just walking in there should be a biohazard

•ponys a lil out of it when hes sick and he mumbles to himself and curlys like “yea,,,ok,,”, neither of them know whats goin on😭

[devilsrecreation]

Zootopia AU

Goigoi: Which one of you was going to tell me that tea tastes different if you put it in hot water?

Kiburi: ….You were putting it in cold water?????

Reirei: Goigoi. Answer the question, Goigoi.

Goigoi: Yeah??? I thought for like. 5 years that people just put it in hot water to speed up the tea-ification process didn’t realize there was an actual reason

Janja: You dont have the patience to microwave water for 3 minutes???

Reirei: Why are you. Putting it in the microwave. To boil it?!

Janja: Do you think I have the patience to boil water on the stove

Reirei: It takes less than a minute!

Janja: BESTIE IS YOUR STOVETOP POWERED BY THE FUCKING SUN?!

Reirei: How long does it take you to boil a cup of water on the stove?!

Janja: Like seven minutes!

Reirei: Just stick the mug on top of the stove on medium heat and it boils in like two minutes… less than that is you use a saucepan…

Janja: You’re putting the whole mug on the stove ???? On medium heat???? Ur stove is enchanted

Ushari: Every single animal in this room is a fucking lunatic

Mzingo: Do none of you own a fucking kettle?!

[drc00l4tt4]

🐎 yee-haw Follow

Which one of you was gonna tell me that tea tastes different if you put it in hot water?

👻 died-2019 Follow

You. You were putting it in COLD water????

📰 tired-principal Follow

Cowboy. Answer the question, Cowboy.

🐎 yee-haw Follow

Yeah????? I thought for like, 5 years that people just put it in hot water to speed up the "tea-ification" process. Didn' realize there was an actual reason.

📰 tired-principal Follow

You don't have the patience to microwave water for three minutes?

💣 ur-fav-villain Follow

Why. are you. putting it. in the MICROWAVE. to BOIL IT?

📰 tired-principal Follow

Do you think I have the time to boil water on the stove?

💣 ur-fav-villain Follow

IT TAKES LESS THAN A MINUTE!

📰 tired-principal Follow

Villain, is your stovetop powered by the sun???

💣 ur-fav-villain Follow

HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE YOU TO BOIL A CUP OF WATER ON THE STOVE???

📰 tired-principal Follow

Around seven minutes!

💣 ur-fav-villain Follow

Just stick the mug on top of the stove on medium heat, and it boils in about two minutes. Less than that if you use a saucepan.

📰 tired-principal Follow

You're putting a whole mug on the stove? On medium heat? Your stove is enchanted.

🌌 i-am-nowhere Follow

Every single one of you is a fucking lunatic

👑 ruler-of-everything Follow

Doth none amongst you possess a damn'd kettle?

[watermelonolemretaw]

🥪 iantheserpent667 Follow

which one of u was going to tell me that tea tastes different if u put it in hot water?

🧪 thatsthat42 Follow

y- you were putting it in cold water?????

🩸 lavenderloverksk Follow

ian?? Answer the question ian :<

🥪 iantheserpent667 Follow

yeah??? i thought for like. 5 years that ppl just put it in hot water to speed up the tea-ification process didn't know there was an actual reason

🩸 lavenderloverksk Follow

You don't have the patience to microwave water for 3 minutes???

🔫 ak-.z47000 Follow

why are you. putting it in the microwave to boil it

🩸 lavenderloverksk Follow

Do you think I have the patience to boil water on the stove? X3

🔫 ak-.z47000 Follow

Its takes less than a minute

🩸 lavenderloverksk Follow

Bestie is ur stovetop powered by the heccin sun??

🔫 ak-.z47000 Follow

How long does it take you to boil a cup of water on the stove

🩸 lavenderloverksk Follow

umm like 7 minutes

🔫 ak-.z47000 Follow

Just stick the mug on top of the stove on medium heat n it boils in like two minutes... less than that is u use a saucepan...

🩸 lavenderloverksk Follow

Crying you're putting the whole mug on the stove ???? On medium heat???? Ur stove is enchanted

🦩 h0t-to-g0 Follow

Every single person in this post is a fucking lunatic

@starrz-n-waffl3-fries

shots of og post under the cut

[generational-atrophy]

Hi can I get the uhhhhhh the main 8 with a cook s/o? Like s/o can make almost food they want and the food taste like amazing!!! Thanks you :3

(Hetalia Main 8 x Reader) Cook S/O!

(Gender Neutral) Headcanons ~ A/N i love when u guys request stuff like ur ordering from a restaurant. Like yes sirrreee coming right up

Trigger Warning: None, just fluff!

Oh, he’d absolutely adore this! He’s got terrible taste, so maybe you can finally make him… normal. He’ll love anything you make, so get crazy with it.

Just don’t let him in the chicken. You’ll ask him to boil something and when you turn around, he puts it in the microwave instead. He wants to help! He just never learned even… the basics of cooking.

Surprisingly, he has a pretty diverse palette (despite being picky) so you’d never have to tone anything done when cooking for the two of you.

Well… this is ironic. A world-renownedly terrible chef dating a great one. What is this, a sitcom?

Just please don’t let him near your food before it’s done. It’s like his touch is cursed. You ask him to measure out the milk and next thing you know he’s bleeding all over the place. How? Well, it doesn’t really matter compared to the fact that he’s getting his blood in your precious meal!

Seeing your talent, he’ll definitely ask you to make a few classic British dishes. But when he hands you the recipe… there is no way for it to be tasty without changing basically everything. But if you do that, he probably won’t notice and will just start gushing about how perfect it is. Guess that’s what happens when you have no tastebuds.

Oh wow, he’s blown away! Francis prides himself on his fancy food, and yet you’ve outdone him completely in a quarter of the time! You must be truly gifted…

Pretty soon every meal will be treated like he’s a world-star food critic. Which, technically, he could be. He knows quite a lot about the culinary arts and would love to share that love with you. There is no better way to show you care other than slaving over a hot stove to create something wonderful.

But don’t expect to be cooking all the time. He would love to make traditional French cuisine for you, anytime you ask.

Great, being upstaged by someone a hundredth of his age. Well, you’re lucky he loves you so much. He takes a lot of pride in his cooking, so seeing you make something better than he ever could… shameful!

That being said, he’s still excited. If you’re this talented, imagine what your food would taste like with his old tricks. Imagine what you could do with his traditional dishes… he’s drooling already.

It’ll be hard for him not to show you off. I mean, power couple much? You can work together to create a feast so magnificent everyone around the world will be jealous!

The smell of freshly cooked food, the warmth, the exquisite taste; Why, aren’t you a perfect little partner! He should ask you to cook all the time…

He may not be much of a savant himself, but it doesn’t take a skilled taste to tell how great your food is.  And he could not be happier! Can you make him some traditional Russian dishes? Please? He’s sure that you can do them perfectly! And he would love you forever for it :) (He would love you forever anyway, but he just really, really wants you to cook for him.)

 He’s also going to try to show you off. He just thinks you’re the most talented person in this whole world and your gift should be shared with everyone!

Not to brag, but he’s been known as quite the chef as well. Italian cuisine is known worldwide for its tastiness… and now he can share his roots with someone who can truly appreciate it!

He might even start crying upon tasting some of your dishes… he just can’t believe how good it is! It takes him back to his childhood… or something. Really, he’s just super emotional. But he couldn’t be more proud of you!

Plus you guys can cook together, how picture-perfect. Although actually… he’ll probably get frustrated if you guys are both stuffed into his tiny kitchen together. He’ll just cook for you instead. Maybe you can give him a few pointers, just as he can for you!

Ludwig really admires your talent! He’s never been much of a connoisseur himself, even if he wanted to. But maybe now that you two are together, that’ll change.

He insists on watching you cook. He really wants to learn from you, but he’s a little worried about messing up your incredible work at first. But if you ask him to help, he’ll happily be your little worker bee.

German food is not known for being very… flavorful.  But maybe you can teach him to love the unfamiliar.

If you’re so good at cooking, can he join you? He loves making things with those he loves, and cooking is one of the best ways to do so. And he’ll be shocked if you can outmatch him (you probably can.)

Even if your cooking is the best on earth, he insists on making food for you two most nights. It’s not that he doesn’t like yours! No, not at all, he just doesn’t wanna put that pressure on you.

Pretty soon, he’ll ask to teach you traditional Japanese dishes. Please indulge him, he’d really appreciate it.

[nodiploma-onlyturtles]

Uriels place, 9:30 am Heaven time

Zadkiel: which one of u was going to tell me that tea tastes different if u put it in hot water?

Gabriel: y- you were putting it in cold water?????

Jophiel: Zadkiel. Answer the question Zadkiel.

Zadkiel: yeah??? i thought for like. 500 years that ppl just put it in hot water 2 speed up the tea-ification process didn't realize there was an actual reason

Jophiel: You don't have the patience to microwave water for 3 minutes???

Uriel: why are you. putting it in the microwave to boil it

Jophiel: Do you think I have the patience to boil water on the stove

Uriel: It takes less than a minute

Jophiel: Bestie is ur stovetop powered by the fucking sun

Part 1 | Part 2

[rottedleechboy]

Another Friday Night: Patrick Bateman x reader

Oneshot

Warnings/Content warnings: Smut, sex n stuff, major noncon, blood, cutting, virginity loss, Dom! Patrick, he is a psycho, Patrick Bateman being Patrick Bateman yk the classic stuffs

Note: Idk wrote this cus yk why not and I was feeling extra spicy (deranged), only did minor edits so sorry if it's kinda shit. This was very VERY self-indulgent. I tried to leave it gender neutral but it's definitely more fem. Sorry

Summary: uhhhhhhhh yeah

It was about that time of the year where things started ramping up for Pierce & Pierce : Mergers and Acquisitions.

Well not really it's a very grey place to work. You. Well you were just an office runner, no real handling of anything important appart from maybe keeping the pens in stock and making sure there was enough paper in each printer. Making sure the common areas were kept up like restocking kitchen suplies, cups for the water fountain and mediocre coffee station.

The best part of the job was spending the company credit card on snacks and stocking up the snack bar in the "kitchen" area. The kitchen wasn't really a kitchen it resembled a tiny apartments sad excuse for a kitchen but it was missing the stove and oven. Instead replaced with a tiny bench top microwave. Besides the point spending money on cute little snacks and restocking the snack bar was very therapeutic.

You took alot of pride in the "kitchen". I mean there's not much u can take pride in, in this job. You were technically a "secretary" but... It was mainly Jean which took care of the classic secretary jobs.

I'd like to think of it as secondary secretary or on call assistant. Unlike Jean you moved around a lot more whereas she was more glued to her desk replying to emails and phone calls. She was always so polite when she needed me to run some papers to another person. Usually you were last to leave the floor, after Jean leaves for the night you stay back replying to the last lot of emails she didn't get to, usually it was just 5-6 emails with 3 sentence replies.

She's pretty good at getting through the influx of emails everyday but the ones left weren't anything too big so you didn't mind getting the rest done.

Also, you stayed back just in case someone else on ur floor stayed back and needed some errands run.

More often then not its was to pick up food... Again. Half the time you were on coffee runs, lunch runs, another coffee run, another late lunch run, snack runs etc. The snacks run out rather quickly actually. If it wasn't food you would be picking up things from the post office, things from the dry cleaners or once again running a Manila folder to another big grey building down the block. Tonight wasn't so different. You stayed back like usual today there weren't any emails to reply to so you sat at Jeans desk surfing the Web and online shopping.

Tonight Patrick was staying back, you didn't know why it's not like he does anything appart from being a dick. Everytime u passed his office you saw him he reading a magazine in his office or doing a crossword. Everytime he had called you in to run a task it was something useless like throwing a piece of paper from his desk to his trash can in the left corner of his office which he was too lazy to do. He definitely does it just to fuck with you because every time there was a condescending or snarly comment. Of course you would without fail glare daggers at him or reply with an equally snarky and condescending remark.

Scrolling mindlessly for shit you didn't need untill the phone started ringing. It was Bateman. So with a annoyed sigh you picked up "Yes, what." you said impatiently. Honestly you just wanted to go, it was boring and you wanted to use your new artisan bath bomb. Plus it was Friday. "Come here" and then he promptly hung up. What could that prick even want. Getting up with a heavy huff and an attitude walking up to his glass office and pushing open the door.

You stared at him with an expectant look, 3 seconds had passed before he decided to speak. "I need you to carry this" gesturing to the fancy wine and Armani wine glass set that he got gifted today. "seriously... Too weak to carry this your self?". He ignore you putting on his blazer and picking up his breiff case ready to walk out. Bending over to carry his gifts you follow behind him leaving his office.

The elevator ride down was silent and full of tension. What a dickwad you thought. As we got to the ground floor there was a Porsche already waiting. Walking around back to put the wine and glases in the boot suddenly hearing "no I need you to hold on to them in the car, don't want them breaking now do we" he says emphasing the last few words. The driver opens the door for you to get in and shuts it after you give him a slight nod.

Patrick is already seated next to you and staring out the window. God even the way he sits is pretentious. Sooner or later we arrive at his apartment complex. We get out and he waves the driver away. What a dick move, you now had to call your own cab home. After he makes you carry the shit up to his apartment on he makes you call your own cab home??? God what did you ever do to make him hate you so much.

The whole journey you had been glaring at the back of his head trying to burn a hole through his skull. He unlocked his door and opened it up waiting expectantly for you to walk through. You do. As you look around trying to find a table or something to put his stuff down on. At this point your arms were tired and you were exhausted. Not to mention that it was a fucking Friday night. Your eyes landed on his white marble counter top and finally dropping his useless glasses and stupidly expensive wine off. His place was nice but boring as you expected. Clean but a maximalists nightmare.

As the weight left your arms you sighed and went to turn around and leave as you heard a *click* the sound of the door locking.

Did this bafoon straight up forget he just let someone into his apartment??? Walking up to Bateman who was leaning back against his apartment door looking sly. "okay ur stuff-" before you could finish your sentence he had you in a choke hold with a cloth over your nose and mouth. Struggling like a maggot in the beak of a bird, thrashing around untill all went dark.

Blurry white was all you could see. What happened. What the fuck. As your vision came back you sat up slowly. Where. What. You were confused and still trying to figgure out what was happening. Hands shakey reaching up to rub the blurring out of your eyes. Checking yourself for any missing limbs or anything that might indicate what happened. As you explore you feel a thick collar wrapped around your neck. Huh?? Pain shoots through your whole body. In two distinct pulses. As soon as it stopped you hear a chuckle comming from behind you. Turning you see Patrick sat on a chair looking awfully proud of himself. "Patrick..what's going on?" there were tears welling up but you were not going to let them spill.

He hold up a remote with 3 buttons shaking it like a toy in front of a baby tauntingly not saying anything. Pressing one of the 3 buttons with a click that almost echo's in the room. Instantly you feel the pulsing pain shoot through you body again. This time it went on for one second longer but it felt like a minute.

Angry and scared you shouted at him but all that came out was a high pitched pip and air getying caught in your throat. "awww what's wrong? Cat got ya tongue?" he teases walking closer now being over to meet your eye level.

You were on his bed, atleast he had the courtesy of putting you on his bed instead of the hard floors. Gathering your voice back up "Patrick what the fuck?" you manage to snap.

"I would drop the attitude if I were you"

"No Patrick what the actual fu-" pain sears through your limbs once again making you double over onto your side. "Be nice. Or ill shock you till your brain oozes out of your thick fucking skull" Patrick spits out, the dislike apparent in his voice.

As the pain subsides you open you eyes back up eyes landing on the knife he was now holding in his other hand. "Patrick why... Why?" looking up at him as he looms over the edge of the bed, voice no longer as strong or determined but quiet. Putting the knife down oh is side table he grabs a fist full of your hair making you sit up and look him directly in his eyes. "since you think ur so fucking smart why don't you figgure it out" adding a hmmm at the end as to belittle you even more. As if this wasn't already enough.

"what do you want" you whine out eyes casting down. His eyes were piercing straight through you. You didn't want to admit it but something inside you found this oh so very hot.

Letting go of you hair and grabbing his knife back he opens a closet. Watching his movement closely trying to figgure out what he was possibly going to get. He starts to set up a tripod. Oh God what the fuck you think to ur self. Panicking even more if that was even possible.

Adjusting the camera to face you he clicks a few buttons then clears his throat. "Ass up for the camera" in a stern demanding tone. Looking at him questionably to counter he holds up the remote for the shock collar you had on. Almost challenging you. Reluctantly you get on all 4s and arch your back with ur bum facing him and the camera. His footsteps comming closer untill you feel cold sharpness run up the back of ur thigh. Staying silent as he rips you skirt off leaving you in your stockings and a thong. You were still basically dressed but felt so naked and vulnerable. As he threw the now fabric rectangle on the floor he spanks your ass. The stinging making you involuntarily let out a little whimper of confused pleasure. "oh, so your are a little whore" feigning surprise. Hearing something scrape against the bed you try looking for clues as to whats to come next but fail as he strikes you with a whip? Cane? Unknown but it stung. Yelping as the thing made contact. The weight on the bed shifted as he got closer shoving ur face into the blankets "don't move bitch" he whispers into you ear before moving off again. Now you have deduced it was infact a cane and he wasn't going to tap you lightly. Striking your ass with the cane again and again while berating the living hell out of you. It hurt so good as tears soaked into the sheets. You could feel your pussy pulsing but you couldn't let Patrick know that.

"please stop" you were begging him as he kept whipping your cheeks with the cane. "Patrick please it hurts so much" "yeah it's supposed to hurt you dumb cunt" a few strikes later he stops. "stand up" he orders. Mustering up the strength you feel your stiff joints scream as you step onto the floor and straighten you knees and back. He's behind the camera "go have a good look at yourself" gesturing with his head to the mirror.

As you near you see the dark red lines left by the cane. Beads of blood forming at the skin and the skin that did split the blood was smeared by the other smacks all across your cheeks. "you see that" you nod slowly still looking at the carnage of your cheeks. "that's what sacarstic sluts get, I'm not letting you off with just that either" he warns as he roughly grabs you arm dragging you back to the edge of the bed and forcing you into your knees.

You could feel the heat and the pain radiate from your ass as your knees made contact with his carpet. With a hand firmly grasping at you hair and the other one skilfully undoing his belt and fly he pulls down his silk boxers revealing his massive hard cock. "don't just stare open up" yanking your head back so you would be looking up at him. Opening your mouth reluctantly he roughly shoves his cock in. Your hands automatically push against his thighs to no avail. He was so strong all you could do was grip at the fabric of his pants as he kept gagging you. He didn't let you breath and all you could hear was triumphant groans of pleasure comming from him. Your things were pressed together trying to quell the throbbing down stairs. As he pulled his dick out and let you breath he yanked to to your feet and forcefully ripped your shirt off and harshly yanking your bra off as the straps snapped and the claps split. "oh wow would you look at that, you don't know how long I've been wanting to fuck you brainless" as he roughly fondles your chest. His hand making its way up to you neck and then pushing you back onto the bed. "Patrick" you pleaded "Patrick please don't I'm" struggling to get out the words as he tightened his grip around your throat.

All you could do was let out a strangled moan. Finally letting go he sat back onto his knees and spreading your legs so that his cock was right at the entrance of your coochie.

Looking at him with pleading "Pat please don't, please I'm.." "finish ur sentence bitch" as he rest a hand on your inner thigh ready to rip your tights off. "I'm a virgin please don't"

"ur so fucking stupid ur pissing me off you fucking whore" as he rips a hole in your stockings and completely ripping your thong off leaving fabric burn marks on your hips. Without a second he thrust his girthy penis inside. Instinctively you tighten around him yet your legs were trying to push him away. None of your protest did Jackshit. Leaning to the side he grabbed the knife off the night stand again. Pressing his body against yours as he slid the knife up too your throat holding it there as he looked into your eyes while fucking you. All you could do was hold onto his forearm to lessen the pressure of the blade against your throat.

It hurt so bad but he didn't slow down he was pounding into you harder and faster. A shamefully moan every time he trusted into you. "you like my cock you little cum slut? Ofcourse you do u pathetic bitch" "because that's what you are aren't you" he cooes as you moan. He keeps ramming into you harder and faster untill you feel him cum inside of you.

A few final pumps and as he lifts himself up pressing his hand on your chest admiring what a mess you had become. "look at me" you had to fight your mind fog to look at him. "mm pa-" he slaps ur face leaving a sting hand print on your cheek "it's Sir." "slut" he spits out. "sir please no more" pleading with him again now fully exhausted. He just chuckles and walks back over to his camera taking it off the tripod and filming manually. "open up" hitting you leg lightly expecting you to spread them open again. But you didn't hear him still in a daze trying to process what just happened.

One quick shock back to reality quite litteraly you instantly spread open your legs. Kneeling down with his camera he reaches his fingers to display his hard work to the camera. You could feel the warm cum oozing out of your slit. As he kept using his fingers to spread your lips open. Standing back up again. "hands off your tits bitch" he demands. Slowly uuncrossing your arms from your chest you prop yourself up to face him properly with your legs still open. He's filming you. "okay repeat after me, I'm just a hole" "I'm just a hole" you whisper weakly. He drops the camera a bit to look at you and sighs with disappointment "a bit more enthusiasm and smile a bit" tilting his head to the side in sly mockery. "your a slut. Act like one" he states impatiently then lifting the camera back up. "I'm just a hole" this time you exclaimed with more life, surprisingly a smile was easy to muster up.

That sick part of you enjoyed this. "see that's not so hard is it" he teased as he propped the camera back on the tripod. This time he opens the night stand and grabs something. You couldn't quite see. *click* he opens it to reveal a switch blade. Frozen you followed him with your eyes as he sat opposite you. "patric- sir w-what are" squealing as he lunges at you pressing you back down on the bed.

His weight and strength being impossible to struggle against. "stay still doll, it's easier if you stay still" he chuckles as the knife nears your face. "pat" you manage to squeak out as he sliced up the corner of your mouth and up your cheek. The warm blood running down the sides of your head and down your neck. You actually started crying now the tears which you held back so long came pouring down mixing with the warm thick blood from your cheeks. He had finished with your other cheek now sitting back. Losening his tie and undoing a few buttons of his shirt. "look at how much prettier you are now" looking at you with admiration for his handy work. Taking off his tie "hands" he said composed like he didn't just mutilate your face, you stretch out your arms to him as he ties your writs up with his tie then strapping it through a slot in his headboard.

Grabbing his switch blade again he drags it up your thigh stopping when he reaches your sternum. Paralized in shock, fear and... Love? Your breaths slow down as he looks back up at you. "it's okay doll, just customising you a bit alright?". Proceeding to slowly carve his name into your torso. Each letter painfullfully deep and deliberately slow. Making you squirm with each slice. The muffled sobs bouncing around the room.

After he pumped 3 more loads into you he flopped onto his back and reaching for the smokes on his side table. Lighting one up puffing away nonchalantly. After he was done, he snuffed the cig putting it out above the I making the the dot above the I in Patrick.

Untying your wrist and you stared at the wall. Making his way to the bathroom and bring back a warm towel he kisses you for the first time tonight on your now dried up bloodied cheek.

Before tenderly wipeing the blood and dried tears off your face. You sat there on the bed not moving but concious just not moving. He got a second warm towel after the first one got drenched in blood to wipe down your torso and the rest of the dried blood off your body. "Get under the covers" his voice now softer. Before heading back to the bathroom to do his night ime routine. Getting under the blankets. Curling up into the fetal position despite the pain of the cuts in your torso screaming to stop. Trying to fall asleep. The lights flicked off and the bed dipped as Patrick got under the covers his warm body pressed up against your battered body. You were divided. You hated him more than ever you were scared, confused, angry, tired and yet your body seemed to move on its own. You sank back into his chest and arm as he pressed a kiss on the back of your neck. He was completely different than who he was 30 mins ago. You couldn't imagine the Patrick you saw in the office doing all that to you. You couldn't imagine the Patrick that cut you up pressing that soft tender kiss he just kissed on the back of your neck. Yet he did.

Note: y'all got the good ending smh I might write a different ending with more smut lol idk.

Lmao

[the-erudite-library]

Four: which one of you was going to tell me that tea tastes different if you put it in hot water? Tris: y-you were putting it in cold water??? Will: Four. Answer the question Four Four: yeah??? i thought for like. 5 years that ppl just put it in hot water 2 speed up the tea-ification process didn’t realize there was an actual reason. do you think i have the patience to boil water? Christina: you don't have the patience to microwave water for three minutes? Tris: why are you. putting it in the microwave to boil it Christina: Do you think I have the patience to boil water on the stove? Tris: it takes less than a minute tho Christina: bestie is your stovetop powered by the fucking sun?? Tris: how long does it take you to boil a cup of water on the stove? Christina: like seven minutes Tris: Just stick the mug on top of the stove on medium heat n it boils in like two minutes… less than that is u use a saucepan… Christina: Crying. You’re putting the whole mug on the stove ???? On medium heat???? Ur stove is enchanted Al: every single person here is a fucking lunatic