#like trans people are trans every day thats their life they have oppression every day just for existing

[dockaspbrak]

thinking your opinion is the correct and only one and you're better than other people because you know best is the mind killer. Even about dumb shit. Even about big things. People have different lives than you!!!!!!!! Have some open minded empathy!!!!

[spidermanifested]

this is not my usual type of post but ive been rotating some thoughts and i guess my blogs as good a place as any to get them organized. okay so this is basically my take on the entire discourse surrounding the "feminine (presumed cis lets be honest) women are uniquely oppressed for being feminine/making female characters quote unquote Less Feminine is antifeminist" thing. which i keep seeing come up. on this internet of ours

context being im a trans guy. grew up largely seen by others as female, probably, sort of. was about as far from a cishet womans feminine as you can imagine. not in a cool tomboy way. not in a way that society had a box for. and thats the thing, is that when you fail at gender, whether youre conscious of it or not, theres this extremely profound loneliness that comes with it. part of it was the autism but i made like 6 real-life friends total from ages 4 to 18 and there were no examples of anyone with an even remotely adjacent experience i could find in the media or irl. anytime a female character skirted a little too close to actual masculinity in a tv show or movie shed get that makeover eventually. i was bullied by both boys and girls but the girls who bullied me were uniformly very feminine.

and so i see people talking about how hard feminine women and girls have it, how the world hates them for being beautiful, and on the one hand its like okay, Misogyny Exists. thats not really refutable thats just the reality of it. society hates women. and as for eurocentric femininity specifically i understand its a hard tightrope to walk!!! you have to put on all these masks BUT make them seem natural, youre forced into these narrow boxes of acceptable behavior and appearance and desires, and if you under- or over-shoot then people get reminded the whole thing is a farce and get mad (often violently!) at YOU for it

........but then my thing is, that on one side of the tightrope, the "overperforming eurocentric femininity" side, the tradwife or girlboss or blonde bimbo side, theres an entire history of structural trope-crafting to break your fall, right. like its a shitty box but its the box society WANTS you to be in. they look at you and go "yep thats a woman. we dont like those but that sure is one". there are known social niches to carve out. theres a script.

on the unfeminine side theres just. nothing. its stone cold concrete down there. and apparently twitter would have you believe its actually that the "more masculine" somebody presumed female appears the more society respects them but that to me is the wildest and most nonsense take on the planet because if people see you as a woman or girl who has not taken the needed steps to justify your place as one of those things you might as well be an alien, or even a monster. theres no script at all. and i feel like this is one of the major experiences that trans and gnc people of every gender share-- god knows trans women get the brunt of the vitriol-- and from my knowledge a lot of nonwhite people too, and also fat and disabled people, like. there are SO many things that affect your ability to achieve even a fraction of success at this aspirational femininity.

ive had to see people for real make the argument that princess peach making an angry face is masculine. i think the most masculine woman anyone on twitter can imagine right now is like a businesswoman in a form-fitting pantsuit and light mascara. maybe the struggle of succeeding at femininity under patriarchy deserves exploration, ive seen plenty of coherent and reasonable points, its not without worth as a discussion. but i do not trust the general public with the topic without immediately sliding into bog standard gender policing and transphobia, and so in closing, when the mainstream feminist take on the whole thing seems to be "the more you perform the femininity expected of you the worse you have it", i get the sensation that nobody told me it was opposite day and im about to feel real silly

[ghostcrows]

i know ive made like seventy goddam posts about it...but i have still been ruminating like a mother fucker about like...trans gender issues

as you do

i want to listen to trans women right i dont want to be transmisogynistic and i keep on seeing that there are trans guys who are out of their minds high on terf fumes (whether they realize it or not), although ive known that already bc theres always been trans guys who want...whatever they think they get out of clinging to gender essentialism and the remnants of their claims to womanhood. radfem pussy from a female born womyn that hates you i guess

i also do want people to not brush aside transmasc issues as like, not real, or saying well you're a man arent you, so like, shut up and go get that privilege, that conditional privilege, that highly situational privilege, that goes away in dire straits situations such as um, medical environments....or to like treat us with disdain, or as a joke, which is what i see much more often than pure vitriol (its just like, funny to people to be a trans guy. a little too funny too often)

but we also have to recognize that many of the things we go through closely mirror transfem experiences - even if not all of them do, a lot of them do, and we aren't the sole understanders of trans oppression or misogynistic oppression, thats kind of like, the point right. it is not an inherently ~afab~ burden

i think its fair to want a word that doesnt step on anybodys toes that accurately describes our unique experiences with being treated poorly instead of vaguely gesturing to transphobia in a broad sense- we have consistently failed to find this ... theres a point i keep seeing that i agree with that we shouldnt scrutinize transfems who dont use absolutely perfect language to describe their experiences, i think that should probably also be true for transmascs, but we also do keep choosing like absolutely dogshit terms so...idk? the only one ive seen thats any good is "anti transmasculinity" ive also seen transandrosmia(sp?) but i dont know what that means and it seems to be just trying to replace the root words in transandrophobia/transmisandry. which to be fair was the main hangup because of the implications, to my understanding, but ...im not sure about it

i also see a lot of accusations towards either group that we "just see each other as our agab" which is like, in my opinion, true in the sense that everyone has ingrained transphobic beliefs from living in a deeply transphobic world, and you have to unlearn both the internalized forms and the externalized forms...you have to choose every day to continue to unlearn that stuff, catch yourself. even if you think youve done all the work i mean, no one ever truly has - but also like. so much of this stems from pure insecurity. not only "no one sees me as i am" but also "the 'other' gender has it better in some way" being very mch a thing trans people are inclined to feeling, even after they transition i dont think that always goes away, thats why you see like, someone saying "i hate my agab body" and someone else goes "ugh i WISH i had your body id be so lucky to have your body". absolute last thing that person probably wants to hear but you sometimes feel it anyway

and then like, at the end of the day, i dont feel like any of the ppl leading this current "crusade" are actually people who have a full picture...and i dont think i do either, like, so much of this is online for me, i have to wonder what other people are going through. i overall wish i knew more trans people in real life, i definitely wish i had more transfem friends irl, i know a handful of transmascs irl and that was a freak accident bc we all went to school together. if not for that i'd know basically no one trans near me. tho i have seen more people in public more often but i never say anything cuz im scared -_-

yeah....dk how to end this post. well bye

[mbat]

yknow what, man? i will laugh at fascists. keyword at. because aside from obviously being pissed off at them and wanting nothing more than to strange them with my bare hands, what else am i supposed to do?

everything i am is everything fascists hate. im literally jewish and trans and bisexual. i want everyone to have safety and homes and food and education unconditionally, i dont believe bodies are binary, i believe medicine and healthcare should be a right, not a luxury. i believe in a lot of things that are so opposite of fascists and if they knew i existed theyd hate me like they hate everyone else.

there is no world in which id agree with them even if my life depended on it. especially if my life depended on it.

and also, lets just be real here, they are ridiculous. the way they act is manipulative, but fucking ridiclous. i had people accusing me a few days back of being awful because i said that calling art 'degenerate' is funny. yknow why i said that? because thats just fucking stupid to me! its art dude! its not gonna do anything to you! maybe it can suck or depict shitty things, but its just a drawing/sculpture/what have you bro!

like, i know why fascists attack art. art is often the ultimate expression of the self, or love, or joy, or simply humanity. expression attacks oppression. to get rid of art would help them, so of course they would attack it like an enemy. but like... bro, come on. its still just art, man. degenerate.... you sound so ridiculous 💀

and like. ive been drawing for over 10 years now, whether it shows or not, so like, i get it if people find it not sounding the best that my first reaction is to laugh at the face of someone trying to attack something so personal and such, but also thats exactly why i do. these dickwads thrive on reaction, they want you to get upset, or insecure, or whatever. i draw because it brings me joy, if my art is somehow devoid of morals or whatever they even mean by "degenerate"... oh well? i dont usually show my art to others anyway, and even if i do its still just an image, and usually pretty tame ones at that. i hurt no one with my art lmao.

id rather just laugh in their face. what are they going to do about it?

i am stronger, any of us are stronger, than every single one of them. all of us who allow ourselves to be free, who dare to think outside of what weve been told, have more of a backbone than theyve ever had in their whole lives. they want to uphold systems that do nothing but hurt everyone, even the top, because it is inherently poisonous to the human brain. systems that want anything except for humanity from the human experience.

i laugh because i know that aside from the way they hurt others, they are just shells of a human being, and that is so hilariously sad.

[bullshit-tqia]

lord you are really just proving my point again and again, just reading so much into my words and what you think they must mean and what you think must be my motivations and beliefs and whatever else are because i'm trans and i'm not kissing your ass and congratulating you for becoming a terf. all that animosity is coming from inside your own head and its so overwhelming you cant even read.

but i suppose you are free to be the kind of person who justifies and downplays all the harm they do on account of being a woman (totally powerless and perpetually innocent, ontologically incapable of committing harm!) and therefore The Most Oppressed™ and reacts to every valid criticism of their objectively toxic, negative behavior by crying misogyny. (wow! just like the behavior you hate when other people do! i wonder if maybe the behavior is the problem moreso than any particular identity, considering that there are people from ever walk of life who do this sort of thing? hm...... no, its probably just bad and evil and a sign of how terrible an entire group of people is when THEY do it, and good and necessary act of self-preservation when YOU do it. im sure thats it!)

have fun and dont think too much about anything that comes from outside of your little group. dont forget-- everyone outside of your special group is far too compromised by things like loving the people around them, appreciating diversity, listening to the vast majority of contemporary doctors and scientists, and not spending 8 hours a day scrolling through posts half comprised of decade old screenshots, many of which are of extremely obvious terf trolling, of random people on the internet saying upsetting things when theyre trying to upset people.

as ever:

🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸

FREE PALESTINE!

🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸

Kill yourself

[nonbinary-sticks-the-badger]

heres my epiphany about being an evil sicko heterophobe who wants to disrupt the status quo and make your kids gay /j

over the past few months ive noticed ive been becoming increasingly more averse to straight/heteronormative ships. ik it isnt the end of the world and like. straight people arent oppressed for anything queer people arent also oppressed for. but its been bugging me because while heterophobia is such a non-problem that i was hesitant to even type out the word, simply reversing the roles doesnt really make it any better unless its for a hypothetical scenario. whatever you have to say about it, an aversion to a perfectly fine relationship just because its straight isn't necessarily the worst evil in the world but at the same time thats still a bad thing

and i mean for a little bit i was able to shut that part of me up! when done right, i honestly love sonamy. its just such a pleasant little ship. and also now ive got the tag blocked and consider myself a sonamy anti. ik it sounds really silly. "oh boo hoo, you don't ship the cartoon hedgehogs, whatever." and it is really silly. but its not just that. literally every other straight ship i like is either because the characters look good together/have interesting aesthetic combos (eg shadamy) OR i actually like the relationship but i cant bring myself to love it like other ships

again, not liking a straight ship isn't the be all and end all of everything, but i think back to this sonamy comic i saw months ago that i HATED. this morning i pictured amy as one of the guys in sonic and it was fine. i pictured sonic as one of the girls and it was fine. like i dont care if its not a serious problem, i dont wanna be like that.

and then i think about other ships im a fan of. i like a lot of straight mario ships, for example, so long as its not rosalina with a guy or waluigi with a woman. but then i remember WHY i like those ships. my favourite straight ship of all time is probably luaisy. theyre a really cute couple and i love them to bits!!! and then i remember i h/c them both as bi and trans, specifically t4t as well. this extends to other ships too. in fact, i love LOADS of straight pairings, so long as theyre actually not romantic and queerplatonic instead. put simply, i feel a need for some hint of queerness in EVERY ship.

and so i wondered why. why do i care? why do i have irrational hatred for a fictional boy and girl kissing if it isnt exactly how i like it? and then i thought back to when i didnt even slightly have that hatred and connected any two characters who i thought might possibly have something appealing out of a relationship. it was probably year 9, a few years ago. so what was the difference?

my friends.

back in year 9, i was surrounded by queer people, offline, online, real and fictional. now, however, a lot of them have realised theyre straight or drifted apart. its not their fault, thats just who they are and im glad theyre happy. as for the friends who drifted apart, theres not much i can do. but the only close queer friends i have who i have actually met in person are 1) my cousin who lives on the other side of the country and 2) the people who i see in summer school. summer school is 1 week a year btw.

obviously i dont lack queer friends. ive got loads online. but people arent kidding when they say your life will be vastly improved by being in physical queer spaces. my town's too small to organise any real pride events, so i cant really find new queer friends NEARBY very easily. i love my online friends, i really do, but even if we video called every day, it can never quite get on the same level as being in the same room as your friend. in other words, i feel slightly isolated when it comes to being queer. i guess thats why im looking forward to sixth form so much: i DESPERATELY want to meet someone more like me. not just in being queer, but being queer is a great place to start

so, if that does happen, maybe ill stop being like this and calm the hell down. i really hope i do because its genuinely annoying when you have an irrational aversion to something completely fine

im really tired but i literally just had an epiphany hold on

[lostandfem]

Hey I dont think jumping from a cult to another one will be helpful to you. You should check deeper into a more broad generalisation of life experiences instead of making your whole life about your gender again. Radical feminism isn't helpful because it doesn't take women accountable for the shit they do to other women too. Blaming males all day long won't work or do shit because we have to solve our own issues between females to live better lives. Sure men can be awful. But so are women. Radfems are also full of shit and attack peoples physical flaws at the second they have the occasion to. They don't really understand that women come in different shapes and ethnicities. Shit like "oh look at her body hair/facial hair" for exemple will come on the table all the time. Or while trying to make fun of transwomen they'll insult women that are less GC too because they don't give a shit anymore. So be careful with "communities"... Those women aren't full on accepting. That's my two cents. Good luck with everything, life's hard and so is finding respectable people... Or real lesbian women and sane bisexual women. But never give up. You'll find your way.

yknow, i appreciate youre trying to be helpful, but i trust myself here, and i dont really appreciate the patronizing attitude. im not some helpless, lost puppy

its interesting youre talking about making gender my whole life again tho. its not something id expect someone to acknowledge. most people dont want to acknowledge that thats what its like in the trans community. but this isnt making gender my whole life again. acknowledging misogyny and sexism isnt obsessing about an identity. these are judgement calls about peoples lived experiences as well as my own. and yeah, absolutely both men and women can be awful as individuals, but thats an entirely different issue from recognizing how women are treated as a sex because of their reproductive capabilities. that capability is a resource people want to take control of (if you support abortion rights then thats the cause youre addressing for an example of how thats a real issue that needs to be discussed). if you recognize that, you recognize that theres an imbalance between what sex holds power. were not “blaming males”, were recognizing who holds the power in the situations we are disadvantaged in. you have to find a source to a problem *somewhere*. women doing bad things to other women doesnt mean that power imbalance doesnt exist. and looking inward to address an outward disadvantage doesnt make any sense. if we examine ourselves enough, will the pay gap close, for example? is it womens fault theres a pay gap to begin with?

also idk where youre getting your information about what radfems think about other women, but do you think theyd even tolerate me here if they only wanted a certain type of body? my tits are gone and im hairy from testosterone. if they were anti-body diversity, why am i accepted anyway? why are they accepting any detrans woman? ive seen these women come in every shape and ethnicity, and praise women of every size and ethnicity (from thirsting to beautiful photography).

if you want to look into it, check out @ laetitiaky on instagram. shes a black woman who describes sex-based oppression from her own experiences, essentially (also makes p cool art). if you want to see examples of radfems of colour the blogs @oneblackbraid and @rad-by-nature are two off the top of my head (hopefully im not mistaken rip). im sure if you scroll enough youll find them talking about radical feminism in relation to racial issues.

anyway thanks for the advice, but i didnt ask to be helped. i hope you find your way, too

[alleycat4eva]

look im not planning on like, stalking you and sending an essay refuting every radfem or radfem-adjacent post you rb. that would be patently ridiculous and i'll most likely just unfollow but regarding the "surrender linguistic boundaries" thing... what on earth is the point in that? thats just (broadly) a compilation of people talking about folks who can get pregnant. yeah theyre like, really clumsy about it- plenty of conservative women are anti-abortion and frankly are just as ghastly about it as conservative men. tons of horror stories about pro-life nurses actively traumatizing people who miscarried and had an emergency procedure removing the dead fetus before it starts to rot them from the inside out. theres always going to be marginalized people who are also... kind of stupid and choose to be compassionless even when their own issues are rooted in the same source. the thing about those posts is that my guess is theyre still learning. i bet if you asked any one of those people theres a solid chance they would thank you for the correction and reword it. one of them looked to be about a specific individual desiring a surrogate(?) so refering to him as a man or a dad is fine. some of them are reductive or performative in that you can tell they still have that "ugh, men" mentality trained into them and havent questioned that yet and just labeled all nonbinary people as woman-lite. some of them use "men" because primarily cisgender men benefit from and cannot be hurt by forced birth and they didnt think to use the addendum of "not trans men/gay men/infertile men/pro choice men". whatever. nobodys perfect and even if they were, society is imperfect and so even then theyre gonna slip up sometimes, its fine.

now all that said, what even is a linguistic boundary??? "i just dont want other people using any of this specific terminology to more accurately describe affected demographics"? if its your linguistic boundary then like... dont use them. say "women" and people will understand your point entirely. maybe someone qrts with "*uterus havers" and you go about your day. cisgender women are little under half the global population i think we'll be fine. this is not at all an issue of erasing women, "pregnant people" even still defaults the average mental image to that of a woman. including trans men just... doesnt hurt anyone. if the health article headlines prove anything it is once again, as it so often is that trans women are erased. really the only issue with those examples isnt that theyre denying that women exist its that they use "men" and dont elaborate. transphobia is the current default state of society, and i dont see the point in cisgender women rallying themselves against an already marginalized group when a) achieving transgender equality also hinges A LOT on gender equality between cis folks and b) even if trans people existing was a threat, we kind of have bigger fish to fry in the centuries of actual structural and societal oppression and those who uphold it. and in that the trans community can only be our allies.

if youre looking through radfem tags to see where your beliefs lie i would also reccomend "transphobia" or "cw transphobia". since transphobes arent likely to tag their bigotry as it is, thats where you'll find trans people talking about it of their own volition. those definitely get heavy so maybe "transphobia mention" if you want generalized discussion and not news articles about hate crimes. you'll also be more likely to find someone open to taking questions so long as youre in good faith and dont rock up to the first trans flag icon you see and like... harass some 18 year old stim blog about their stance on medical terminology.

I think you have a good point that maybe this needs to be a boundary I draw for myself and possibly not in general

I really do appreciate the tag recommendations. That really helps get aspects I wasn't able to view searching trans or trans ____

And this is maybe where it get controversial is that I see this language used to divide? Like are you here affected because of organs in your body? Then society sees you as x and you're captured here under this umbrella term because language is not precise.

But it also feels terrible to be reduced down to uterus haver and like . I never see it as testicle haver, never see legislation on that, or religious veneer using that. And I'm here talking trying to get what I'm missing and it's that language that is policed which is weird because I thought we were all stuck

I have been looking through more sources than just radfem blogs as I have been trying to inform myself. I can screenshot my search history if receipts are needed

[fratboykate]

There is something that makes me so uncomfy about the fact that they think that just because we ship two characters it's always going to be inherently about them having sex and that "allosexuals are only focused on sex" like... no?? I write fanfiction I never write smut bc I'm not good at it and I don't think its always necessary. I prefer to focus on the romance and that's perfectly fine. I still enjoy the occasional smut reading but it truly isn't about that for everyone.

ALSO, when did it become okay to talk about someone in a term that they didn't consent to being called? Why am I suddenly called allosexual because I'm not asexual or aromantic? Like I get when they use it to differentiate but they have quite literally moved on to using it as an insult "oh the allos this and the allos that" and it's always so condescending?? Why??? Because I want romance and sex in my life? I should think there's something very ironic about them saying that people hate them because they don't want sex when they treat people who do like they're weird for wanting it.

I didn't even know what asexuality was before like, this year? I just thought, if you don't want sex or romance you don't want it and thats fine and if you do (As long as its consensual) thats fine too!

this whole argument (which is so dumb to begin with) has brought out some ugly sides of certain people and I'm pretty sure it's not the ones minding their business

CFAU is 400k words, plus however long the other one shot I have on AO3 is. I probably have close to 450k/half a million words up on AO3 alone. I would say there's at the very least ten times more than that spread out here between random asks, prompts, ficlets, and fandoms. While there are hints of sex scenes, there isn't any smut. At all. Anywhere. (Not for y'alls lack of trying tho.) That's not why I ship. The fact that they've turned shipping into this weird concept of "they just want these characters to fuck" is almost an indication that they think about sex more than we do. Sure, duh, if they're an OTP I want them to have sex in canon because who doesn't want that for their ship? But that's certainly not my sole or even main concern.

Look, they're going to foam at the mouth for this one because we've established that they hate to hear the truth but...they're not oppressed. People need to understand the difference between "I identify as this thing which puts me in a category that the majority of the population doesn't fall under, ergo I statistically am in a/the minority" and being an OPRESSED minority. The two are NOT THE SAME. No one has ever been fired from their job, denied housing, historically been violently discriminated against, or have laws passed specifically to take their rights away for *checks notes* not wanting to experience romance or have sex. That's simply not a real thing. Meanwhile the "evil allosexual" trans, gays, and lesbians out here are living through some of the most actually oppressive and violent years in all of history. 2021 was the deadliest year for trans people. Ever. Republicans are actively trying to take gay rights back to the 1940s. THAT is real oppression, not a stranger on the internet you could literally choose to ignore telling you some character you like isn't "ace". Go outside. There's people that are dying, Kim.

I'm also petty and stubborn so it kinda just makes me wanna double down now that they've turned Kate and Yelena into this weird battleground between them and "the allos" (derogatory) lol. At this point I just want Kate and Yelena to fuck in every corner and every surface of New York. No kitchen counter or alley left intact. Go forth and do it everywhere, all day long, year round my darlings. Don't even take water breaks. It's only 24/7/365 of deep, intense, soul changing, earth shattering, transcendental sex and love for them.

[flagellant]

i just wanted to ask something abt the recent post. I know ppl go back n forth on who can use terms etc but, that post completely ignores that the word queer is still very much a slur in small towns and backwoods areas like where I grew up. I'm a trans person and I'm legitimately uncomfortable with that word being used for me specifically and I don't care if it's TERF shit that brought it back as an insult, I don't want it applied to me. Does that make me evil?

i respect that you would prefer queer not to be used as a personal identifier and label but your experiences aren't universal and every name we have for ourselves has always at some point been used as a slur because as an oppressed minority all the names for us will be based in hatred

the fact remains that i refuse to grant my oppressors the satisfaction and power of a name that is my right to reclaim and use as i please, a term that has been used for decades now by us and our kin, and i refuse to politely hand it back to them without a fuss because i was called mean things in grade school and thus think it can't exist in a nuanced state

no one is saying that queer isnt often used as a slur you are preaching to the choir in this but my problem comes when people act like because they have a bad history with it it ONLY has a bad history and it should ONLY be considered a slur and used by our oppressors, never as a source of strength and rebellion

if you grant them this they will keep taking each and every name you make for yourself until slowly but surely you are eaten alive and forgotten and ignored. thats why we exist angrily instead of politely. queer is a complicated term for me too anon but the day i let the ones who screamed it into my ears while beating me bloody have the satisfaction of ripping it out of my hands is the day i let them kill a part of me i'm proud of and i am nothing if not stubborn and i'll outlast them if it kills me

do what you want i really dont care but if you try and call my identity a slur and refuse to respect my own experiences and traumas and life and choice to reclaim it as a term for my community to my face we will have problems

and i'll appreciate next time you dont blatantly try and guilt-trip and tone police me by acting like if i use the identity queer and point out its history both as a slur and as a reclaimed identity that obviously that makes me think of you as evil. we're all well-adjusted individuals here we can acknowledge life is more complex than black-and-white

[queerlyhalloween]

Not to sound like the joker™️ but i hate western society. I know that hair and clothes aren't gendered, so do most of my mates, ive been working hard at unlearning the internalized transphobia that's just a part of being trans in the UK and actually ALLOWING myself to think about going on hormones and dressing in ways other than "ambigious as possible" despite the fact im non-binary

i grew myself a little mullet because ive not been working in the pub and wanted solid snake hair, ive allowed myself to look at my face and the long hair around it and not despair because i know that longer hair doesn't make me a woman, but the moment you go into a shop, or get takeaway or pass by people in the street its all "move out the way of this lady!" and "thank you, ma'am"

i dont want the gender option of 'other' on my ID i want to know 1 good reason why gender should be listed on an ID in the 1st place

ive just come back from the range and i had my hair up like some e-thot fuckboy, i had to go BACK to the range because they got my click and collect order wrong so ive got two members of staff looking over my order, im dressed in black jeans and a black masc-looking ripped shirt, mask covering half my face and as the manager's showing the kid who served me the receipt they go "oh I served that guy earlier" and the manager corrects them "its a lady". I say "im niether" and they both just stare at me like im a toddler. Im already panicking because the air feels the same way it did when some cunt came after me in the pub toliets. "dont worry about it :)" i say, they both turn back to the tills and completely ignore me.

Anyway, micro-aggressions, ive experienced a lot of them for many reasons over the course of my life and today ive decided to snap.

Not at the people in the range like, just in general.

I will never pass. That's just an element of trans euphoria i will never get to experience. Not right off the bat, anyway. Not where i live, and most likely not in my lifetime. Maybe for kids in LA or Brighton, and hey power to you guys man im happy for you, but people assume or guess m/f when they look at me and they will never get it right.

So when i see people on this site try and twitter etc rank "who's the most oppressed"™️ like a godamn smash bros tier list it blows my mind because of all the things you could spend your days doing thats what youre expending energy on?!

You could be the exact same age, race, sex, gender, sexuality, you could have the exact same disabilities, mental health conditions and money in your bank as another person on this site and you'd still never understand what they've been through. Our experiences, our families, our morals and lives are always gonna be different and the moment you try to write definitive rules on whose got it worse you've already lost and you're already wrong. Oppressed classes are not a fucking hivemind and pretending they are is only going to cause you more problems. I get the strong sense that some of you looked at the word intersectionality, went "ah yeah, i know what that means" having never read up on the matter, then proceeded to play the pain olympics.

And its creating a culture where kids feel the need to spills their souls online to justify living their lives!

You've not listed your disabilites in your bio so you're able-bodied. You're Irish but haven't listed your race so you're white. You're cis man so you've never played with gender and suffered as a result. You're asexual so clearly you're a cringeworthy baby who's never experienced a wrong-doing in their life.

The reverse is true too, if you list every aspect of yourself then you're automatically honest. The more opressed you are the less likely you are of causing harm to others. Psht, don't have a carrd in this day and age? What are you, a fraud? cishet white man playing make believe? Post a selfie or face the wrath of ozymandaus. What's privacy? It takes me 3 minutes to read the bio on this discourse side-blog so clearly they're an angel.

my mam abused me for years, she did the same to my brother when i left home at 18 and my dad drank himself to death. My nan, his mother, never believed me because my mam's a disabled woman with a lot of trauma, and at 14 how do you explain to the woman who takes you to the beach that it's WORSE because as she's beckoning you to the side of her bed so she can scream point blank in your face, or hit you, you're never truely sure, you're thinking about running away because of course she physically can't chase you but she can throw. And then where would you go if you did buggar off?

"You have to sleep sometimes" she used to say to me when I'd piss her off. Other days she told me horror stories about kids in care, and disabled people having their kids taken away, made me promise that I'd always love her and always be her baby, and I'd do that for her because she's my mam, she'd be satisfied then ignore me for a while. I grew up thinking that was entirely normal until i'd tell funny family stories at school and nobody would laugh. The closest I got to truely running away was when I changed my name and pronouns and her rejection, turned to vitriol one night and I so, so, nearly held a knife to my throat and simply fell forwards in the uni showers. Obviously I didn't do that.

But she's had a shitter life than me thus far so she's in the right, as the online black/white dichotomy states. I keep her at arm's length but I'm unable to cut her away without losing the rest of my family because I dared defy the role of eldest child and care for her as I've done my whole life, as is expected.

we need to take things on a case by case basis, and learn when stuff is none of our business.

"Hey! :) I see you've reclaimed (X) slur, without submitting the proper paperwork. Real quick tell me every trauma you've ever experienced or I'll write a callout post :) delete this anonymous message (as is your right) and i'll assume you as sus ❤"

you can only call yourself a dyke if on your 13th birthday, the moon's tender rays struck you through your bedroom window and gave you your first wet dream about girls.

Great, cool. I have no interest in calling myself a dyke, i cant call myself a lesbian because it makes me dysphoric, thats why im queer, but i can assure you that when 3 kids from catholic school pinned me under the bridge and threatened to cut me open for being a "dirty dyke tramp" they didn't play 20Qs with me first to check that i was actually a lesbian.

if your first thought is "well thats just misdirected homophobia, so youre not ACTUALLY a victim" log the fuck off and consider what's wrong with you. Because all our oppressors care about is sniffing out the wrong on you and beating it out, they dont care what breed of wrong it is.

so you're going to spend your day, the enlightened adult that you are, frothing at the mouth because some 15yr old dared call themselves butch despite them being OnLY a BiSexUAl? You're gonna say that trans woman deserves to be suicidal because yes she may be trans BUT she's from the UK, so clearly she loves her horrid country and government. You're gonna say that black lad deserves racial abuse because he's trying to focus on his studies rather than go to protests. That 19yr old who's living in poverty deserves it because they work for Amazon. Texans deserve to freeze to death because there are republicans in Texas.

You're going to harass a complete stranger coming to terms with the parts of themselves society has taught them are worthless at best because they're not doing it the way YOU think is right.

This post has not ended where I started it but I really dont care:

Some of you are so fucking desperate to be the bullies you never got to be in secondary school and it shows. But you're cowards. You can't just admit you want to divide and concur so you do it in a new woke way and when your time on this earth is done, you'll have commited the same pain that's been dealt to you and wonder why you died miserable in a world thats more or less the same.

okay to reblog but dont @ me for a debate because i have, like, real problems and will just block you

[felidaeng]

@tikki-tok this is under readmore because i dont want any of my followers taking this as a cue to be rude or anything? but i.. okay, i dont like to talk about the specifics of my sexuality bc im still unclear of my orientation, and i dont think i ever will go back to labels as they feel constricting and cant cement my personal identity, so i dont feel comfortable putting it anywhere on my blog, but i am by all means asexual. i get the “feeling broken or wrong”, not just for not having sexual feelings but also for struggling with not knowing whether i was experiencing romantic or platonic feelings towards others. i get it!!

the uncertainty on the matter comes from the fact that someone automatically being deemed lgbt for being ace, even if they are cisgender and heteromantic, doesnt make much logical sense, but JUST AS MUCH, if someone is aro/ace, they arent straight, are they? thats where i struggle, and thats why i dont have a true opinion. i read through thoughts from both sides, educate myself through them, and become more aware of the points being made. i used to actually be a staunch exclusionist back in high school, but then i realized i wasnt getting the whole picture. 

so, here i am. believing that ace people getting actively kicked out of lgbt spaces is of course not okay, but also thinking that someone whose only connection to the lgbt community is being asexual will never be able to understand what lgbt really go through. does this mean i think they should be removed? no, of course not, but you have to understand that just because you do not experience sexual attraction does not mean you can equate yourself to a gay or trans person. oppression isnt the only thing that defines lgbt, but it does play a major role in every lgbt persons life. i was once in a lesbian (at the time, because this was before i realized i was trans and then society viewed me as a woman) relationship. and frankly, i was never once treated poorly for being asexual, while on the other hand, i lived in legitimate fear of my relationship being discovered, and was almost outed multiple times with the chance of it coming back to my bigoted and abusive family. not to say that asexuals arent targeted or put down by others at any point, but you gotta understand that most of it is online. if you go to any sort of physical lgbt space, more often than not they’ll be supportive of including asexuality. meanwhile, oppression is a very real thing that lgbt people face every day without fail, directly or indirectly. comparing bigotry against ace people to bigotry against trans or bi, etc, people cant be done, theyre entirely different ballparks!!

as for the reblogging from exclusionists... i didnt check any of them to see what their stances on the ace discourse was bc i only reblogged for information regarding the ace flag, some of them straight up being from googling for more sources. turning the conversation to exclusion or inclusion at that point would be derailing from the hypocrisy and lesbophobia that google displayed, and it really is not the time nor place to be discussing this. again, i say this as someone who is asexual.

sorry if this isnt as coherent as id like it to be, and i wont ask you to unblock me, but i just wanted to let you know my viewpoint.

[therealwokemama]

God this world is so fucked. I'm getting sick and tired of trans people. I've been so accepting and like yeah you do you whatever makes you feel good.

But now these fucking lunatics want to take away everything that gives a natural born women any value in society. (Child birth and breastfeeding) like holy fuck. Your not a natural born woman. THATS OK.

Stop trying to take away shit from the most oppressed group of people since the dawn of time.

Legit only until RECENTLY our only value seen by anyone is that we give birth. Your diminishing the most beautiful thing about a natural born woman. I get it you fucking upset you born in wrong body... but you can't change biology, and how fucking rude of you to demand we support you and then try and take away every little thing that makes a natural woman a woman...

Like holy fuck this world is ass backwards!! They cancelled fucking JK Rowling for SPITTING FACTS.

She's transphobic because what? She made comments about BIOLOGY?

Y'all so pressed about science when it comes to vaccines. But then deny science when it comes to BIOLOGY. Yes gender is a social construct, some people are more fem or masculine, but like Jesus Christ stop fucking bitching about SCIENCE.

Oh and then hardcore LEFT is so pro choice about abortion and other medical procedures... UNTIL it's about vaccines?!?

No hunny you can't have one or the other. You want medical freedom to do whatever you want, fine cool me too. But that DOES NOT EXCLUDE the freedom to choose if you want to be injected with straight up CHEMICALS and foreign DNA from animals and aborted fetuses. Same reason I distanced myself from anti/ex vaccine people.. They are against abortion, but wanted medical freedom. You can't have one or the other they fall into same category. It’s all medical freedom you cannot pick and choose. Oh and incase someone does come across my journal. I am against mandatory vaccines... what you choose to do for you and your family is 100% your CHOICE. I am pro choice. I vaccinated my son and he had reactions so we stopped. Therefore I’m an ex vaxxer... I believe vaccines have a role to play in medical industry, but I also know that current vaccine schedule has never been tested for safety and they’ve gone from 3-10 in childhood to 50+ I advocate for safer vaccines and freedom to choose. Vaccines are no different than your prescription. If your perscription gives you negative side affects your doctor will take you off it and try a different one. Everyone has different reactions and everyone is different. Therefore no medical procedure should ever be mandatory. One size does not fit all. And also before someone says I believe vaccines cause autism. No I do not. I believe vaccines can and are known to cause brain damage in some people. I myself fall into neurological diverse category. I also think it’s extremely cruel to diminish any mothers negative experience with vaccines. SIDS is linked to vaccines. You think a mother who wakes up and looses her child 24 hours after vaccination is following whats her face? McCarthy? Whatever her name is. No that mother woke up to tragedy and logical connecting of the dots and intuition told her that’s what happened. Maybe she’s wrong.. but what if she’s right? It’s wrong to be so cruel to someone who is grieving the loss of her child and doesn’t want anyone else to go through that pain. What about the mother that one day her child is happy healthy, then goes for her child’s shots and within days the child has severe reaction, having epileptic episodes, brain damage... or the mother that was more fortunate and her child only has mild reactions but still has to be on medication for rest of their life? Most of these people if you just speak to them about their grief you would have more compassion. But instead you run at them with pitch forks because something tragic that happened and they are just trying to share their story. ALSO in what world do we give a medical product full IMUNITY from any LIABILITY??? Every medication in the market can face lawsuit in the event of a severe reaction. But vaccines are exempt?

World is stop fucking stupid.

These idiots keep giving into the division... it's illegal to be straight, illegal to be white, like holy fuck.

Legit the word slaves came from SLAVIC because Ottoman Empire enslaved Ukrainian, Polish, and other Slavic people... but oh that's not talked about because that doesn't help their current narrative.

We fucking get it. Black people are heavily oppressed in USA, and systematic racism exists.

Canada it's the natives. Yes we need to fight those atrocities. We need to fix these issues. But your NEVER going to get respect and fix these issues if your goal is revenge?

Jewish people were heavily persecuted against, they could argue that oh all Germans and polish people are bad. But they don't why? Because so many fucking Germans/polish people risked their lives to rescue them and get them safely out of the countries. SAME FUCKING THING WITH BLACK FOLK. Some really good white people were like NOPE this isn't ok, and found ways to sneak slaves up North and into Canada.

Just because someone is fucking white doesn't mean they are racist, have ill Will against you. Yes bad white people exist. But that goes for your race too. No one is exempt from shitty fucking people. Every time news reports they caught sex traffickers 9/10 it's fucking black/brown dudes. So what should I now go around saying all POC are sex traffickers beware? Or by your logic, if all white people are racist, then all Muslim people are terrorists right? Fucking stupid. You can't believe one way but exclude other shit and facts.

I'm so sick of the LEFT VS RIGHT SHIT. Your both fucking imbeciles and the world will never ever get better if the divide continues. At this point history will continue to repeat itself

[evildnaa]

‪originally written to be posted to twitter:

the way that I feel so disconnected to the online bisexual community, or just other bi ppl my age. And maybe it’s just the general young queer community I feel disconnected from cause everytime I come on this damn app there’s more discourse, cause bi kids created a slur? instead of just thinking critically about how you use slurs, who your audience is and why you feel you need them to be funny? Or creating new labels for nonbinary people who’ve existed in sapphic and achillean spaces for ages with no issue? I get that nonbinary people would want an ungendered label to validate their identity so it def makes sense in that context if that makes them more comfortable, but nonbinary people aren’t a third gender so if they don’t feel invalidated by a ���gendered” label why the fuck are people flipping shit? why are people flipping shit when an adult bisexual man reclaims the word faggot knowing his queer audience?

Maybe it’s just the lack of representation of accurate/ older bisexual representation that makes me feel like I’m in a community of teenage idiots. So often I’m just truly lost on what everyone is up in arms about and why it truly matters in terms of ensuring equity and safety for queer people. I think after being in this shit and seeing bs discourse like this for 5 yrs straight I’m really just over it yk?

My bisexual peers who hate pansexuals for simply existing are the same ones I see bashing nonbinary lesbians and forcing them into a new label thats “more validating” to identities, trying to solve a problem that doesn’t exist just like pansexuality did. Will trixic and toric nonbinary people be bashed in 5-10 years for identifying as such because all of a sudden its been deemed invalidating? Can they not see history repeating with this? I see my transmale peers bashing anyone who dare identify close to trans who doesn’t experience dysphoria, claiming xenogenders and neopronouns “make the community look ridiculous”. Do other queer teens not understand cisgender and heterosexual people will always not understand? That that’s the whole point? That they don’t understand us because they aren’t queer? Why are you so eager to appeal to the same people that oppress us and don’t care about our rights in the same ways cause they don’t Need to? Instead of understanding this community is sometimes the only thing we have to support us?

I truly can’t wait till I’m older within this community cause I Know this bs isn’t thrown around in the same way y’all do on this dumb bird app. the way y’all continue to rehash old tumblr bullshit really ceases to amaze me. For the majority of this, who the hell is it hurting? most often I see this actually hurting the queer community more then the help it claims its doing. If you feel your identity is invalidated by the existence of another, there are some other things you need to evaluate as to why you feel invalid, like systematic transphobia and homophobia that you definately have interalized, instead of immediately going to pin it on your queer peers. I cannot wait till I’m older and have literally less time to be on here cause I truly cannot stand it. I need to find some semblance of community somewhere else cause I obviously am not finding it here with people who cannot see the bigger picture.

I hope that one day I feel connected to my own communities, and feel like I know what’s actually going on in them, but I also don’t feel like that’ll be any time soon and it makes me genuinely upset. Nothing on here feels like what the community genuinely cares about in real life and its really jarring and confusing to see almost every day. I am just so exhausted. 

[b0x]

😔 some Thoughts on the Trans Experience under the cut that i wanna vent out bc of some posts ive seen around that just kinda didnt sit right with me i guess

every time someone on here is like “trans men cannot experience eldest/only daughter trauma bc they are men and are therefore experiencing transphobic trauma” it’s like... man, gender is way too complex to be so cut & dry about a topic like this. many trans men grew up experiencing the traumas of being a daughter And being a trans man daughter, both pre-transition and post. saying that isn’t saying “trans men are actually women because they experienced this women’s trauma” it’s just recognising that many traumas overlap, regardless of gender. i know it comes from a supportive place, validating us as real men, but that should include validating our unique experiences too. 

i hope this makes sense, but a trans-man-daughter is still 100% a man, still 100% a son, but is very different to and does not have the same experience as a trans-man-son. and a trans-man-daughter doesn’t mean “a trans man raised as a daughter because they didn’t know they were trans at the time”, or “a trans man raised as a daughter by a homophobic parent even after coming out and already knowing they are trans”. no, a trans-man-daughter can still also be a trans man raised as a son with 100% support, because a parent’s trauma can still pass on regardless of the circumstance, because a trans person’s relationship with themselves and their own gender and body and mind is so unique and one-of-a-kind that we were practically designed to overlap the many gendered concepts that so many gatekeep as a sense of empowerment. 

and it sucks making our own posts/experience sometimes, because they never feel like “our own”? because they all come from traumas and bigotry that have already been boxed and labelled and sorted into sections, and to be someone who has bits and pieces from all those different boxes/sections? a trans person can, for example, experience misogyny one year and then transmisogyny the next and that doesnt make the misogyny the prior year “actually transmisogyny”, it was still misogyny that was experienced, even if it’s later relabeled as “transmisogyny”. if anything that just makes it TWO kinds of misogyny experienced instead of just one. it’s terribly confusing. and trust me, for every cis person confused by a trans concept, i can almost guarantee you it’s just as confusing for the trans person themselves. and this isn’t also me saying that ohh trans people have it worse because we experience Double the bigotry and trauma - no absolutely not. i just think it’s important for people to realise that there are people who will experience both misogyny And transmisogyny and that in itself creates its own new kind of bigotry/trauma experienced, if that makes sense?

of course, i don’t speak for every single trans man, but it’s a very specific kind of transphobia a lot of us experience that ties in directly with eldest/only daughter trauma, and why we relate to and connect with posts like that, even when they’re aimed specifically at those who identify primarily as women.

and on top of all that, i see quite a few of the same trans man “supporters” who say “trans men can’t experience daughter’s traumas because they’re men” do complete 180s and say that trans women can’t experience eldest/only daughter trauma bc their transphobia doesn’t correlate with “womanhood” at the source, because trauma that sons/men/male at birth experience is different to the trauma that daughters/women/female at birth experience, which is.. horrifically and bewilderingly transmisogynistic, transphobic, alienating, and just..  Shocking. shocking that these two points can be somehow made in the same breath together without any of them realising what they’re saying.

it’s like.. this weird group of people who are somehow both the opposite of and exactly the same as terfs? theyre more like... tirfs - trans Inclusionary radical feminists - the people who treat trans men like a substitute for the “effeminate cis gay best friend”, the one’s who will validate your masculinity but not entirely consider you a 100% guy, latching onto that “biological fact” of trans men being “female at birth” and therefore considering you more of a “sister” than a “brother”, regardless of them knowing and understanding that you are a man. i guess its kind of very similar to the transphobes who make awful comments that nonbinary people are just closeted lesbians/gays?

anyway, yes, many traumas are gendered due to binaries designated by society and a misogynistic and men-restricting patriarchy (and many other factors that all play parts in this whole big system such as religion and the upper class), but traumas are traumas, and honestly shouldn’t be gendered, because they all overlap regardless, and can be experienced by anyone if the exact circumstances are met. that and every single trans experience is so unique and so so complex because gender in itself is an extremely unique and complex concept that it just cannot in any way be monitored or labelled into strict rules and laws and binaries.

every time i see a post on here about womanhood and daughter traumas and cis women’s misogynistic experiences and hell even a lot of lesbian traumas/experiences, i find myself completely and entirely relating to many of them every single time even though i am 100% a trans guy, and half grew up as a son. and i guess it’s just kind of weird but not so weird because sure while some days it just feels like im not calling myself a true trans guy, most days its just me validating and relating to an experience that i had that was unique to me and doesnt necessarily mean that im a woman because of it

because womanhood and manhood are temperaments, traits we are either born with or without, traits that are ever-changing and developing as we evolve generation by generation. anyone can pick up or be born with parts of womanhood and/or manhood. like that’s what makes all of us so unique, not a single one of us are alike in any way shape or form because of that. the combinations are always unlimited. so it’s just dumb seeing stuff like that gatekeeped. you cant Own an Experience like thats... what the hell is going on. every time its always the same thing, everyone’s always tryna play god in some way, be it mastering themselves, their own emotions and life, or controlling others, dictating what they think how certain things should be etc

it’s like that one post that’s like everything would be so much simpler if everyone was bi and nothing was gendered ghadjgdkgj

idk.. just.. to gender conceptual things like gender and traits and personalities and traumas is just so... unhelpful and unopen to change and not fluid whatsoever as theyre supposed to be. i dont wanna be all “nothing is real” abt it all but labels and binaries and decided systems and set laws are literally the reason, since the beginning of time, for wars and bigotry and oppression and poverty and the whole shebang. bc Someone decided one day that being a woman means this this and that, and being trans means that and this and that, and those meanings will be the basis we will rewrite occasionally and maybe add to, instead of completely scrapping our whole outdated initial ideas about it bla bla bla. 

im just tired gender is weird and stupid why are we arguing why are we so protective like just have a convo man rule with curiosity not adamancy and you’ll be sooo much happier trust me

[androdragynous]

twitter anon here is your reply post, im putting it under a break bc i dont want ppl to reblog it like a discourse post. preventative measure. also bc its a long post

[ link to my tweets for context ]

Anonymous said to canonkiller: June 2nd 2019, 4:05:40 pm · 12 minutes ago yee haw, u asked something about why sharing an ace identity to strangers is necessary? being ace is something not accepted by others 100% of the time, and it is still an oppressed group which is why it’s part of the lgbtq community bla bla, especially when being horny/making sexual jokes can be the norm, and especially when you want to have open convos about attraction and sexuality. that’s. Kinda why.

Anonymous said to canonkiller: June 2nd 2019, 4:06:57 pm · 11 minutes ago I’d also like to add that! Sexual attraction is weird so that maybe you’re not comfortable with some things as an ace person as others are,, and being ace is seen as negative pretty often. It’s nice to say Hey I Exist

im going to try to phrase this in a way that makes sense but my feelings on the whole thing are a lil nebulous so bear with me on that front; none of this is meant to come across as accusatory or hostile, it’s a genuine confusion when present 

i guess where i’m coming from is like. telling strangers that you’re ace is still telling strangers about your sex life, where telling people that you’re gay / lesbian / bi / pan / trans / nb isn’t. nothing about that prior list reveals anything about your sex life, and all of them can be present alongside being ace. whereas ‘ace pride’ is just like... the opposite of a hentai / ahegao shirt or whatever. it’s non-sexual, but in a sexual way, if that makes sense? its like. it’s still information about your sex life that i, as a complete stranger, do not need or want to see.

it also, unintentionally or not, feels like it’s implying everyone else at pride is sexual. as if by specifying, it’s marking the others as others. ‘here are the gay people, here are the lesbians, and here are the ones who aren’t sexual deviants’, kind of. and i know it’s probably unintentional! again, i don’t mean to be like Ace People Are Evil or anything, but it’s just... it feels uncomfortable, as someone who is treated as being inherently sexual for not being straight. and uh not gonna lie but your addition of being horny / making sexual jokes as being the norm for the lgbt community is uhhhhhh not helping with that one, actually, it’s kind of proving it. which is less than ideal.

also - again, genuine, honest question - what is the oppression ace ppl face for being ace? because practically every form of oppression i can think of - being denied housing, jobs, adoption, rights - simply won’t apply in the day to day life of an ace person. from my perspective - which i admit is limited, which is again why i’m asking - the only time you could, for example, be fired for being ace, would be if you routinely brought up that you were ace and your coworkers got uncomfortable about the fact you continued to talk about your sex life or lack thereof. and i don’t think that’s the same as being fired for having a same-gender partner who just exists, because that’s not mentioning your sex life, or transitioning, which also has nothing to do with your sex life.

i... really don’t think that discomfort is tied just to being ace, though? like, a lot of non-ace people are uncomfortable, as an example, kink / bdsm at pride. or horny / sexual jokes (you’ll notice, for example, that i don’t post those despite not identifying as ace). or being uncomfortable with people who make their sex lives or lack thereof a major focus of their identity. there’s no reason for that to be the common ground for ace experience when that’s something... a lot of people don’t like. it’s not like gay people go over to some dude in a hentai shit and start congratulating him. we all think its fucking weird, because that’s being sexual in a place where people aren’t giving consent to seeing it. you know, basic human decency standard.

it’s also... the description of seeing other ace ppl and relating to them is all fine and good, but it’s in the context that like... everyone who doesn’t give you intimate details about their sex life is then automatically not ace. you have no idea! you have no idea about most of the people you see! is a lot of media sexualized? yeah! and a lot of people - ace or not - have a lot of issues with that! it’s not like people who feel sexual attraction are 110% comfortable with some sex scene in a crowded theater, it’s fuckin weird for everyone.

i do also have to bring up my experience w the identity in fandom spaces, which is important, because to me it is PROFOUNDLY uncomfortable when people are like “this child character from this children’s series is asexual and this character is gay!” because it’s like. they’re 12. this is a book series written for twelve year olds. none of them are sexual. pointing out that one character is Very Not Sexual and the other is gay has some aforementioned unfortunate implications about how people view being gay! i have the same concern seeing ace pride flag stamps on a minor’s deviantart profile as i do when i see a fetish stamp there; the simple dread that children are being exposed to sexual content - or being told they are abnormal for not experiencing it when they’re children - and it’s expected to be a point of pride. that concerns me. i fear for kids who are ‘proudly ace’ because, from my experience, the ace people i have met bring up sex far more often than those who aren’t ace or haven’t made it a focal point of their identity. at the end of the day, i don’t want to know about how much or how little anyone, ESPECIALLY A CHILD, wants to have sex! and i think thats a pretty normal thing to not want! 

it’s not anywhere near my business unless they are my partner, in which case we can talk about it, like people in healthy relationships do. and if we break up because we can’t reach a compromise, that’s... normal? like, wanting different things from a relationship is generally why things don’t work out. that’s not ace oppression or anything. thats just normal dating.

my question still doesn’t feel answered! it still feels like it boils down to lgbt people aren’t telling people about their sex lives, ace people are, and i don’t need to know why i need to know the details about ANYONE’S sex life without my consent - which i’m not giving when im looking at pride merch on etsy or people’s profiles on deviantart. especially when the meaning of ‘asexual’ has been diluted to the point where it means ‘someone who isn’t wanting sex 24/7′ which is. how most people are.