#like to think octavia is the kind of person to scream-laugh

[sualne]

it has better stats.

[topazy]

Silent bloom

Pairings: Bellamy Blake/reader

Warnings: swearing, mentions of blood and vomit

Chapter: 2.04

You sat inside the commander's tent shaking, as you stared at the blood on your hands. Raven’s scream echoes in your ears.

Clarke sat down beside you, "Y/N … I don’t know what to say."

You began to frantically wipe the blood off, rubbing your hands against your trousers until Abby and Kane entered. Abby immediately pulled her daughter in for a hug.

Clarke stepped back from her mom and looked at you sympathetically. "They would have tortured him. You did what you thought was right."

"What did I do?" You sobbed.

Before Clarke had a chance to say anything else, Gustus entered. "The commander will talk now."

"Blood has answered blood." Lexa said, stepping forward. "Some on my side say that's not enough; they want the murderer to suffer as our tradition demands. But they do not know that your suffering will be worse. What you did tonight will haunt you until the end of your days. Still, there will be restitution. The body will be given to Tondc. The murdedered and the murderer will be joined by fire. Only then can we have peace."

Kane shook his head, "No, no, we've done enough. The boy should be buried by his own people-"

"Enough? We were owed the pain of 18 deaths, we were owed the righteous kill my village deserves justice." Indra spat.

Your heart hammered in your chest. You kept thinking of the last real conversation you had with Finn. His voice was so clear inside your mind, he could have been standing beside you.

‘I was scared... when you disappeared. I thought I’d never get the chance to say I’m sorry, and I needed you to know that I love you.’

Why didn’t you see the signs then? He was saying goodbye. Thinking back, you knew Finn must have already made his mind up to hand himself in.

It was all too much for you. You jumped up and ran outside the tent to throw up, ignoring the dirty looks you were getting. Nobody could hate you more than you hated yourself at that moment. Once you had composed yourself, you noticed Raven crying over Finn’s body, and slowly made your way over to her.

"Go away."

"Raven," you sobbed. "I'm sorry."

"I said go away!"

The brunette couldn’t even look at you, and you didn’t blame her. "I’m so sorry. They were going to torture him. I couldn’t let him suffer."

"He loved you! He loved you, and this is how you repaid him!" Raven eventually lifted her head to look at you. "He was the only family I have, and he’s dead because of you."

Hearing the words coming from her mouth made your body physically ache.

Clarke placed her hand on your shoulder as she stood beside you. "The commander had now agreed to help us," she said quietly before facing Raven. "I know how hard this must be for you, but I'm leaving with the Grounders and I need you to work on the radio."

The brunette stood up and glared at you. "You agreed to this? Is that why you killed him? For some deal?"

"What? No," you pleaded. "I just … I couldn’t let him suffer."

"We're taking him back to the village where the massacre took place. There's a death ritual." Clarke cleared her throat. "It's the only way to get our people out of Mount Weather."

As the grounders began to move Finn’s body, you jumped back when you saw his eyes open wide. You rubbed at your eyes and then they were closed again. You were going insane.

"Daisy?"

You turned to face Clarke. You knew by the look on her face that whatever she was about to say wasn’t good. But then again, things couldn’t get any worse. "What’s going on?"

"I think you should stay."

"Wait … Have you decided that I'm going to stay here as some kind of punishment?"

The blonde let out a sigh. "No. Look, Daisy, I’d be lying if I said the thought of doing what you did didn’t cross my mind. I understand it, I really do."

"But?"

"I spoke to my mom and she agreed it would be for the best. A lot of the grounders still blame you for what Finn did, and now-"

You finished the sentence for her, "now our own people hate me."

"I can walk you back to camp before I go? I don’t think you should go back alone."

You declined Clarke’s offer. "It’s fine, thanks though."

If anything happened to you, you’d deserve it anyway.

—

"I know why you're hiding."

You glanced up at Murphy as he sat down beside you. You had been hiding out in your room since you thought Finn was sitting across you in the canteen. He was everywhere. Screaming at your dead friend and telling him to leave you alone definitely drew some unwanted attention.

Shrugging, you looked away from him, "I don’t know what you mean."

"When the grounders first took me … no, actually even before that. When I was banished and alone, I used to see her while wandering the forest."

You finally turned to face him. He looked so broken compared to his usual smugness. "Charlotte?"

Murphy nodded.

"I see Finn everywhere I look. A part of me is glad that I’m seeing him; it’s keeping him alive." You stopped talking when you saw the look on Murphy’s face.

After a few moments of silence, you let out a laugh. "Why are you here?"

"Well, the council decided to send a bunch of teenagers to earth-"

You let out a soft laugh. "Don’t be a smartass. I meant in my room, not on earth."

He shrugged. "Like I said, I know how it feels."

You gripped your knees into your chest tighter as you let out a shaky breath. Never in a million years did you think John Murphy would be the only person able to comfort you.

"Why did you come back here? I thought you would have stayed with Finn’s body."

"Clarke and Abby didn’t want me to," Murphy frowned, letting out a scoffing noise. "It would have been more difficult to get the deal to run smoothly with me there, and I think they are right." Raven would have been so consumed by anger towards you that she wouldn’t have been able to focus on the radios. "I just wish I’d gotten to see Octavia before she left."

But not Bellamy. You wouldn’t have been able to look him in the eye.

"You know, I actually wish the mountain men took me instead of the grounders," you sighed. "Finn would be alive, and I wouldn’t have destroyed Raven."

"You're wrong," he replies. "Finn would still have needed to pay the price for what he did. We all do eventually. But one thing would have been different."

"What?" You asked.

"Raven might have traded me. You think you destroyed her? I shot her. I’m the reason she almost died."

"Was it an accident?"

Murphy frowned, "Of course it was."

You let your legs go straight because you're feeling them start to cramp. "You shouldn’t punish yourself for it; what’s done is done."

"You're such a hypocrite!"

"No I’m not!" You yelled back. "You didn’t mean to hurt her, I meant to kill Finn. I meant to kill my best friend." Shaking your head, you stood up. "Thanks for the company, but I need some air."

—

His blood on the ground was still surprisingly fresh looking.

I’m so sorry Finn.

The whole area seemed eerily quiet now that all the grounders had packed up and gone. It was as if nothing happened.

Sighing, you placed your hand against your chest, which now felt bare. You’d lost the daisy necklace that Finn made you years ago, and without it you felt naked.

How would you ever move on from this? You would need to eventually. It would be difficult, but Monty and Jasper still need your help. You would need to push your heartache to one side until your friends were safe.

Hearing a rustling sound, you glanced over your shoulder. Shit. You were stupid to think it was safe to leave camp yourself. Quickly, you started to run towards camp Jaha when a cloud of thick smoke appeared around you. It wasn’t acid fog, it was something else. It was thick, red, and caused you to choke.

—

"Y/N?"

You blinked a few times as your eyes adjusted to the harsh light. You tried to sit up but were unable to. Fuck. White leather straps covering your wrists attach you to a bed. You gave up fighting against the restrictions. You looked to your left and recognized the blonde in the bed next to you.

"Harper?"

Her hazel eyes were now bloodshot red, and her face was puffy from crying so much. "There’s no point fighting, it just makes it worse."

You took in the rest of the room. It looked like a hospital, judging by all the monitors and IV drips. "Mountain men?" Harper nodded. You looked at her worried, "What do they want with us?"

"Our bone marrow."

[myafterlifeisbetterthenyours]

OBSESSIVE STOLAS X Male Imp Pt.3

(This is a long fanfic and will consist of multiple parts.)

You continued your rhythm, hands roaming his body. Stolas was getting close.

His breathing became shallow, moans became more lewd.

The way you held him so close, the warmth you gave him just intensified the pleasure you were giving him.

Stolas was in a daze, pleasure numbed his brain. Pleasure gripped his mind, stopping him from thinking about anything but the pleasure you were bringing him.

Stolas was getting close, trying to speak only came out as drunken moans.

You were both close and you both knew it.

Squeezing him close you began intensifying your thrusts, hands grabbing him rougher.

You were getting so close, you bit your tongue focusing on the pain to last as long as possible.

But no matter how hard you tried to hold back, you reached your peak, exploding in the owls sopping cavern. Feeling this sent Stolas over the edge.

Stolas released a high pitch squeal.

Not wanting uninvited listeners to hear your bedmate, you reach forward and pull the prince into a deep kiss, muffling the squeal.

The two of your remain in that state for several moments. Breaking the kiss, you fall limp against the princes chest.

Stolas rested his arms around your back, pulling you close as you both basked in the afterglow.

While you were very content with the idea of just laying with this very warm, feathery pillow for the next few hours.

The sudden slamming of a door and Blitzø screaming 'Fuck!' snapped you both out of our pleasant haze.

Looking up at Stolas, you found him looking just as panicked as you felt. You both scrambled off each other, desperately trying get your clothes on.

Stolas scrambled in kind, desperately trying to get his clothes on. Though unfortunately for him he'd earlier scattered his clothes across the room.

Finally getting your clothes on properly, you found Stolas still in a state of undress.

He'd gotten his upper layer on but still lacked his pants and cloak.

Looking around, I found the cloak besides the door. Rushing over i grab the fur collared cloak.

Bringing it back to the prince, he quickly put it on, giving me a quick thanks before dashing around, looking for his pants.

Looking around, you found Stolas' pants under the conference table.

Grabbing them you quickly handed them to the avian prince. Stolas snatched them from your hands before beginning the awkward process of pulling them up his long legs

He'd gotten them up about half way when the distinct sound of Blitzø trudging towards the door drew both of our attention.

We both stared at the door, listening as Blitzø stamped his way towards us. Stolas was in the early stages of a panick attack, as stolas leaned back against the conference table, watching the door with frozen dread.

Blitzø's heavy steps stopped before the door, the silence hung in the air like a scythe drawn back and ready to cut us both down.

You both began to panick before a booming sneeze rang out, Blitzø mumbled profanity before continuing past the door.

Stopping by the office's entrance he called back '(Y/N) lock the place up will ya, I need a fuckin drink.'

Without waiting for a response Blitzø slammed the front door and like that, we were alone.

You looked up at the prince, he looked back at you. You stared at each other for a few moments before you cracked a smile.

You began a hearty chuckle, laughing at how tense you'd both gotten only to be completely alone again.

Stolas pulls his pants up, before joining you in your little laugh. Walking over you sat up next to the prince. The two of you falling into a pleasant silence.

Stolas slipped his hand into yours, before bringing your hand onto his lap.

Stolas was in a strange state of mind, he had been emotionally shattered, and now he felt... happy.

For the first time in years he wasnt filled with anxiety.

Sitting there he slid his arm around you waist, before pulling you into his lap.

You nestled into his lap, enjoying his embrace as he ran his hand over your body.

I leaned into the touch, enjoying his scent as as you sat in his lap.

Stolas looked down at you, he just didnt understand you.

His entire life people had always wanted something from him, Octavia was the only person who ever just wanted him to who he was... and he still managed to screw thet up.

Even his beloved Blitzø only wanted him for his grimoire, no one wanted him for him.

Except you.

And stolas didn't understand it.

So he decided ask you.

'What do you want?' Stolas asked you, his voice barely above a whisper.

You looked up at him, unsure of what he said, 'what?' You asked.

'What do you want from me?' He asked, anger swelling in his chest. He needed to know, you were the only good thing he had right now and he needed to know why you were being so Damned Good to him!

You looked up at him, frustration and anger clear on his face.

A sad little smile adorned your face before you raised both your arms and cup his cheeks.

Stolas froze, getting to your feet you looked him dead in the eyes you told him. 'I just want you to be happy.'

Stolas was taken aback, confusion laid clear across his feature.

You chuckled at his clearly dumbfounded expression.

With a sigh you told him 'I can truthfully say when I first heard of you my opinion of you wasn't very high. And when I heard of your deal with Blitzø... well it didn't help.

'But' I cut in before he could say anything. 'I quickly came to learn you were unlike any of your fellow royalty.'

You took his hand into your own, gently playing with his fingers.

'Like most Imps growing up i dreamed of growing up to own a palace.' You chuckled to yourself. 'But when I grew up I realised. When you have such power, you bound to it as much as its bound to you'

'And when I learned of your arrangement with Blitzø, I though it was just a way to indulge in your more, carnal desires.' you sighed, reliving the last 20 minutes or so. 'But it wasnt until i overheard you talking to Blitzø on the phone. I could hear just how genuinely eager you were to see him, and I could tell how much you wished he'd return such enthusiasm.

Running a hand down his chest you told him. 'You coming here to see Blitzø, it was so obvious i was actually annoyed with myself for seeing it earlier. You were genuinely eager to see him. But it wasn't until you, prince stolas of the Ars Goetia, ask if your out fit was good enough did realise what was going on.'

You took a moment to have a giggle at the memory, Stolas didn't find it as funny but listened regardless.

'Watching you fuss over an outfit that you knew was perfect, it was in that moment your anxiety shown through. I saw your mask crack and I could see just how fragile you were.'

Stolas got a little huffy 'I'm not fragile' he grumbled to himself.

You giggled at his immature behaviour.

Turning his head towards you, you met his crimson gaze. 'Stolas. In that moment. I saw you.' You placed your hand against his chest.

'I saw a gentle soul. A damaged, scared, And absolutely terrified to be alone.' You brought his hand up to your cheek. 'And when I heard Blitzø screaming at you, without even giving you a chance. I knew it would devastate you.'

'And you there, in front of Blitzø's office, clawing at the ground, desperately trying to keep it together, I made a decision.' Stolas' gaze was so intense if not for your current situation youd likely fear for your life. 'I made the decision to make. you. smile. No matter the cost, no matter the sacrifice. I wouldn't let you leave without a smile on your face.'

Stolas stared for several moments, eyes scanning your face for even the slightest hint of deceat. His throat dried and eyes watered when he realised there wasn't any to find.

'You really did all that for me, just... to see me smile?' Stolas asked, his voice staring to break up through his drying throat.

You looked him dead in the eyes and without a moment's hesitation you whispered back 'yes.'

Stolas pulled you close, tears welling in his eyes.

Stolas held you tight, fearing that if he let you go, something would snatch you away from him.

You leaned into the embrace, returning the hug and just enjoying his arms wrapped around you.

It wasn't until you felt his body quivering that you pulled from the embrace. Finding the owl on the brink of tears you reached up and wiped a tear from his eyes.

Stolas felt... light. As though all the things that were holding him down were gone.

He felt freer then he had in centuries, like nothing could keep him down.

And looking down, he found the source of this freedom.

And seeing you looking up at him, he couldn't help the smile spread across his features.

You were what he'd always wanted.

Someone who loved him unconditionally.

Seeing the Prince smiling made you release a giggle 'You look good with a smile' you whispered to him.

Stolas' hand cupped your cheek and brought you close. Placing a single kiss on your lips before placing head against your own.

Pulling back he said 'I think I'm in love with you.'

Stolas froze, fearing for your reply, fearing you wouldn't reply, fear you'd leave him and he'd fall into the pit of despair that you'd pulled him out of.

You took a moment to respond, a moment which for stolas felt like an eternity.

Getting up you cupped both his cheeks and told him 'I care deeply for you as well, Stolas.'

The reply sent a slight wave of sadness through him before he calmed himself. 'Its alright' he thought 'he doesn't need to love me yet. I'll show him how much I deserve his love.'

Stolas planted another kiss before asking you 'can I see you again, spend some time with you.'

'Do you have a phone?' You asked, Stolas patted himself down hefore pulling out his Hellphone you quickly snatched out of his hands.

Opening the phone you chuckled to yourself, 'Don't even have a password.'

You typed away for a few moment, Stolas leaned down trying to take a look at what you were doing.

Pulling back you pressed the phone against your chest before you wagged your finger at him 'na-ah'.

It took another minute before you held the phone up, pulled a little pose and he heard the distinct click of you taking a picture.

After another few second you handed the phone back before getting up of his lap.

Though instantly missed your presence you attention was still on the phone. Opening it he found a new contact.

(Y/N), the icon being the image you just took.

The fact you so willingly not only gave him your number, but you willingly took a picture of yourself sent warmth through his chest.

His attention brought back to the real world when he heard the door open.

Looking up, he found you standing by the door before walking back over to him.

Holding a hand out, you pulled him to his feet before saying 'Stolas. This has been perhaps the single greatest moment in my life, and I can't describe how happy I am that I got to share it with you.'

Walking to the door, you turned to him. 'But, and I can't describe how much it pains me to say, but I have to bring this rendezvous to an end.' You told him, concern clear in your voice.

Stols took in a breath, 'I understand. This was all rather sudden.' He told you, running his hand over yours.

'Thank you for understanding.' You said earnestly.

Stolas leaned down and you shared a brief but passionate kiss.

'I look forward to seeing you again, My leage' you steered him towards the door, say the last part in your best snooty accent.

Stolas giggled at your antics before ducking under the door.

You exchanged one final touch before he left to home.

[goblinmatriarch]

Drarry Tag Game

✨  Drarry Tag Game! ✨ Answer any questions you’d like and ignore the rest!

Thanks for the tag @thebooktopus !

When did you get into drarry?

In 2017, right after I had my first kid. I'd been into the hp fandom when I was younger, and VERY into Newsies fandom through my teens, and then kind of hit pause on it all until I was almost 30 and had nothing but time and a newborn.

Which drarry fic hooked you?

What we pretend we can't see, by gyzym. My online pregnancy group (who continue to be the best friends a person could ask for) sent me three starter drarries for 3am wake-ups. I think Stately Homes of Wiltshire was another one, and I can't remember the third, but they changed my life.

Top three favourite drarry fics

WWPWCS again. It's a classic. It carries me through laughter across paragraphs, then hits right at my most vulnerable centre. It's so beautiful, and it brings me so much comfort on every reread.

A Young Radical's Guide to Love by blamebrampton

I love that the golden trio can't rest and has to fight the pendulum swing to the other side. I like that Draco gets a shot at redemption, and how many more of them join forces to make the Ministry better. I like how easy the relationship is.

Such Great Heights by aediomai

Let those bbs be young dummies. Let them drink too much and make questionable sexual choices and generally be a mess for a few years.

Why can't you quit them?

I've never really been able to quit the Fandom that Lived. HP was my First Real Fandom, and the first time that anyone was talking about the books I was reading. It mattered and matters so much to me, and JKR can fuck off with her transphobia because it's ours now. As to why drarry, specifically - they just make sense to me! I will die on the hill of Draco canonically having a confused crush on Harry.

Would you rather be friends with Harry or with Draco?

Oh my god, Draco. Harry seems very nice, and I would love to be friends with him in the distant way you're often friends with your partner's friends, but Draco is exactly my friendship jam.

Who breaks your heart more often?

Harry, because he so often doesn't understand why he's hurting or that what happened to him was wrong.

Ideal career for Harry? For Draco?

For Harry, mostly just not an auror. I've been sold pretty hard on teacher!Harry and any Harry that works a lot with his hands. For Draco, I mean, I assume I've never heard of whatever job he does, but it involves a lot of networking.

Harry and Draco are being sent to a desert island for a week with plenty of food/water. Each is allowed to bring three additional items (no wands)

Agree that Harry brings a snitch and broomstick, and another broomstick for Draco

Draco brings two books to help with survival: one on edible plants and one on first aid. And his broomstick, because Harry goads him into it. He's furious when he realises Harry also brought one

Favourite non-drarry HP character?

Ginny. She's a badass.

If you had to pick one, enemies to lovers or enemies to friends to lovers, which would you choose?

An excellent question. Enemies to lovers, probably, love that confused, angry sex. I also like when Draco knows exactly what's going on and assumes Harry does too and is a little shit about it until ✨dawning realisation✨

Would you rather read a fic that made you laugh or one that made you cry?

Laugh, but if it wants to punch me in the gut with stunning insight, that's also great

Three songs that scream drarry to you (feel free to include drarry-est lyrics)

I'm just going to lift them from the mixtape in Lilies can be Red 😂

- 'Rock and Roll Suicide', Bowie

- 'Weak in the Presence of Beauty', Alison Moyet

- 'Venus as a Boy', Björk

Favourite authors outside of fic?

People write things that are not fic? Uhhh I guess Naomi Novik, KJ Charles, Zen Cho, Emily At John Mandel, Octavia Butler, Ursula LeGuin, NK Jemisin - I pretty clearly have a genre.

No-pressure tagging @skeptiquewrites @boxboxlewis @peachpety @crazybutgood

[kurosara]

Octavia Blake x Fem!reader (The 100)

Trigedasleng

‘Just float me already.’

I couldn’t even get a couple of hours of sleep without hearing Bellamy Blake scream out orders like a banshee. I sat up, feeling groggier than normal. Probably because of Monty and Jasper’s juice they were giving out all night. It took a few moments before my mind began to race. Thoughts of what I was supposed to be doing smacked me in the brain full force.

‘Shit. Shit. Shit.’

I quickly laced up my boots and put on my cleanest top. Peering my head through the flap of my tent, I waited until Bellamy and his group of fanboys were too busy being dictators to notice me and jettisoned myself, aiming for behind the dropship. From there, I kept a crouched position and hurried to the makeshift tunnel we’d built. I rushed out of the hole, letting the forest engulf me for a moment. My eyes scanned the trees, spotting the familiar white flower. I plucked the flowers in a hurry as I followed my designated trail to my final destination. My footsteps were light and gentle as I practically hopped across the ground, just as I’d recently learned. As the cave entrance I was searching for came into sight, my lips curled upwards just enough into a smile before I shook my head, remembering I had to keep my game face. I crept to the entrance, trying to be unnoticed for the moment as I listened carefully.

“Ai laik Octavia kom Skaikru en ai gaf gouthru klir.[I am Octavia of the Sky People and I seek safe passage] Now you try.” I could hear the faint echo of a familiar, deep voice. Lincoln.

“Ai laik Octavia kom Skaikru en ai gaf gouthru klir.” Octavia’s voice mimicked Lincoln’s words slowly.

I slowly walked further into the cave, Lincoln’s eyes catching mine, causing Octavia to turn in a panic, probably worried I was her brother or a grounder.

I put my hands up to show I am weaponless, “Hod op. Ai laik (Y/n) kom Skaikru en ai gaf gouthru klir.” [Stop. I am (Y/n) of the Sky People and I seek safe passage.]

The pair of them just stared at me in silence for a few moments before they both chuckled and let smiles grace their previously stern features. I chuckled softly and ran my hand gently through my (h/l) (h/c) hair. I went to join the pair and sat with my back against the wall of the cave, Octavia to my right and Lincoln to my left.

“You’re getting better Octavia,” I commented as I tilted my head in her direction.

Octavia just shrugged with that shy smile of hers, “Not really. Not like you are. You’re way better at this than me.”

Lincoln nods his head with a hum of agreement, “I agree. How do you understand Trigedasleng so well? You guys didn’t have this language right?”

I shook my head to the side slowly, “We had history books with other languages. The ones we knew and had teachers for. But I was born with an ‘affinity for communication’ as my teachers said. I pick up most languages quickly and communicate well.”

“I wish I could do that,” Octavia mumbled, casting her gaze away from us.

I gently ruffled her hair with my hand, bringing her attention back my way, “What I have in speech, you have in fighting ability. I wish I had your natural survival skills.”

Octavia’s cheeks turned a faint shade of pink as she tucked some hair behind her ear, that shy smile returning to her pink lips. I turned my eyes away, returning my attention to Lincoln. He just shook his head at me slightly with a slightly creepy smile as he brought one of his knees up. I only gave him a scrunched look of confusion, but he turned back to Octavia, to continue their training.

~~

Octavia’s pov (that’s right. I did a POV switch >:D )

I tried to catch my breath as I reached my arm out. (Y/n) grabbed my forearm from her place on the ground and I assisted her to her feet. Lincoln had brought us down by the river, further upstream so we wouldn’t be seen, of course, to practice our fighting.

“You’re getting better (Y/n).” I gave her a sly smirk and she just laughed, bowing her head slightly and then looking up at me.

My breath caught in my throat for a moment. As the sun reflected out of her (e/c) eyes and her hair looked just right for her, I couldn’t help but stare helplessly at her adorable features. We were still gripping each other’s forearms when Lincoln placed a hand on our shoulders, causing us to drop our hands.

“Great job today. (Y/n) you leave yourself open a lot. Maybe we should test you with something other than a sword. I think your coordination would work well with archery. Octavia, amazing as always. Remember that striking low is equally as strong as striking high as long as you strike fast. Ste yuj.[Stay strong] You should head back. Your people will be looking for you soon.”

We nodded in agreement and started to walk away before Lincoln spoke up, “(Y/n). One more thing.”

He waved her back to him and I felt a pang in my chest and a very uncomfortable churn of my stomach, like I might be sick. Watching the two of them talk without me… what was this feeling? After a few moments, it was obvious that (Y/n) was a bit nervous about whatever discussion they were having, and I wanted so desperately to be a part of that conversation. To find out what’s making (Y/n) nervous. To be the reason she’s nervous. (Y/n) was the only person who didn’t treat me like a freak when I was discovered under the floor. She understood how Bellamy is just trying to protect me and that he’s not the worst person around. She understood me. Like no one else out of the 100 did. And somewhere along the way, I fell for her. Hard.

“What could be taking so long?” I mumbled impatiently from my standing position a few feet away.

Moments after that, (Y/n) comes jogging over to me, but this time she won’t look me in the eye.

“Let’s head back.” That’s all she said before she began walking towards camp, not waiting to see if I was coming with her.

After we were almost back to camp, all I could think was, ‘Something’s not right.’

I didn’t ask right away, but the curiosity was gnawing at me, “(Y/n).”

I stopped walking and she stopped beside me, looking at me for a moment before turning her gaze to the ground again.

“Look at me.” Reluctantly, she finally met my gaze, “What did Lincoln say to you?”

Her eyes widened slightly and she shoved her hands into her pockets, her nervous habit to keep from biting her nails, a more noticeable habit she’d forced herself to stop when I pointed it out to her.

“Nothing…”

“You’re gonna have to be a better liar than that.” I crossed my arms over my chest as I tried to keep calm. It’s not her fault I’m anxious to know.

With a heavy sigh, (Y/n) looked around, making sure no one was watching us in our covered spot behind the trees, “He was just… teaching me some language stuff I wanted to know…”

She scratched the back of her neck, her body kind of hunching in on itself as if she were trying to hide away within herself.

“What stuff? What couldn’t you tell me too?” I didn’t mean for my words to be harsh, but by the unsolicited flinch from the usually sturdy (Y/n), I could tell that’s what I’d done.

She hesitated, her eyes meeting mine once more before she bit her lip, looking down to the ground.

“It was... “ She began to mumble so low I couldn’t understand her.

I took a step closer, leaving not even two feet of space between us, “What?” I spoke softly this time, not wanting her to be afraid of me. I wanted the opposite. I wanted her to trust me. To want me like I want her.

(Y/n) looked in my eyes, but this time was different. There was such strong emotion in her eyes that I almost stepped back. However, I held my ground and gazed right back.

“Ai hod yu in, Octavia kom Skaikru.”

Gaaah why didn’t I pay more attention to Lincoln when he was telling me random phrases?? I had no idea what she’d just said, but damn it, I had to know! It sounded so important so… beautiful from her lips, like magic.

“I…” I paused as I shook my head slowly and her face fell for a moment, “I-I don’t know what that means.” I admitted honestly.

Her face brightened up just a bit as if she were expecting me to say something else. This time she stepped closer to me, closing the space between us. She gently placed her slightly calloused hands on my cheeks. I could feel them shaking subtly against my skin.

With her (e/c) eyes locked on mine, my heart racing in my chest as I tried to remember to breathe, she spoke again but slower and in a whisper, “Ai hod yu in, Octavia kom Skaikru.”

I didn’t even have time to try and decipher the phrase before (Y/n)’s pink lips met mine in such a tender kiss. My eyes fluttered close as I didn’t waste the moment. I kissed back passionately, but still tender against her lips that tasted of the meat we’d eaten and the alcohol we’d drank last night. The taste was intoxicating. The moment itself was bliss. Better than a fairytale. I brought my hands to her waist, pulling our bodies flush together. Her hands trailed from my cheeks to around my neck, and we made out in peace for what I wished was an eternity. We pulled away for a breath of air, our chests rising and falling in sync as we breathed. I sure as hell knew what she meant now.

“I love you too. (Y/n) kom Skaikru.”

Maybe learning Trigedasleng won’t be too hard after all.

[justinalovee]

Empty souls

0.02

Previous chapter

Jill rolled her eyes as Bellamy, Clarke, and Finn argued about what they should do about the boy who had been speared. Time wasters.

“We need to go now, the longer he’s out there, the less chance we have at saving him.” Clarke pointed out.

Jill watched as Bellamy glanced between the drop-ship his sister was in and the blonde. It was clear he agreed with Clarke but didn’t want to leave Octavia on her own.

“I’ll stay here with Octavia,” Jill said.

“Fine.” Bellamy grumbled, “nobody else leaves this camp. Understand?”

Wells frowned, “Jill can’t control what others do.”

Jill glanced at Wells and shook her head. All his comment was going to do was lead to another argument, even if he meant well.

“I will make sure Octavia does nothing to hurt her leg, but that’s it.” Jill said, staring directly at Bellamy.

The moment became tense as four eyed gazed upon Bellamy waiting for him to argue with Jill. He didn’t.

“Let’s go.”

As they followed Bellamy, Murphy squeezed Jill's hand softly on his way past, while Clarke looked her up and down. The blonde still wasn’t convinced that trusting Jill was a good idea.

______

“You in the hat!” Jill frowned as she turned to face Harrison. What did the prick want now? “Where is she?!” He spat while continuing to walk closer to her.

Jill narrowed her eyes, “where’s who?”

Harrison was now standing inches away from her, “you know who I mean. That little bitch Steph, I tried to take her bracelet, and she kicked me in the balls!”

Shaking her head, Jill smirked, “good. Maybe you will learn to keep your goddamn hands to yourself in future.”

A couple of other boys chuckled, causing.Harrison’s face to turn red. He was embarrassed and that wasn’t something he would let go easily. He yanked Jill's arm causing her to freeze on the spot.

“Harrison that’s enough!”

Both Harrison and Jill turned to see Octavia towards them. The younger Blake looked pissed.

“Stay out of this freak,” Harrison hissed.

Octavia stepped forward, not caring that a small crowd was now forming around them. “Let go of her” she snapped, before pulling Harrison’s arm off her. “Are you okay?” Octavia asked softly.

Jill went to reply when Harrison spat on the ground and cut her off.

“Whatever, the slut will get what’s coming to her soon enough.” Jill stared at him, wide-eyed. She didn’t know what to say. “How long till Steph follows in your slutty footsteps before going on a killing spree.”

Something snapped inside Jill when she heard that. She leaned forward and punched Harrison in the face before kneeing him in the stomach, “if you ever touch Steph again I will rip your balls clean off.”

“I wonder what Bellamy will think of this? A murderer and the crazy bitch from under the floor trying to run this place while he’s gone?” Harrison grinned.

Jill stepped closer to him, “I dare you to go over to Bellamy when he gets back and repeat what you just said about his sister to his face.”

“Pack it in, Harrison!” Atom scowled. His expression softened when he turned his attention to Octavia and Jill, “Are you girls okay?”

“Yeah...I think we are” Octavia answered, smiling at Jill.

Oh that smile. Octavia liked Atom, how nice. Jill smiled back before going to look for Steph.

***

Later on that day the small gang of ‘hero’s’ returned to camp with a dying Jasper, with Bellamy and Murphy closely behind them some kind of enormous cat.

The nighttime was intense. Bellamy gave a speech on how they could do ‘whatever the hell they want’ on the ground, and Murphy was right beside him. Jill was disappointed in him, she didn’t think John would buy into it.

She watched as they made people take off their bracelets for food. Bellamy even punched a guy for trying to get some food without taking his off.

“Hey, you look lonely over here,” Murphy smirked.

“I’m fine.”

When Jill looked up at him, Murphy reached his hand out to give her a stick of food, which she rejected.

“Mines not off yet,” she replied holding her left wrist up, “am I going to get hit next if I take it.”

Murphy frowned at her. “I’d never let anybody touch you!”

“Not even Bellamy?”

John knelt down in front of Jill, running one of his fingers along the edge of her hat.

“He’d be a dead man if he touched you, like I said, I’d never let anybody hurt you. Now eat.” Jill went to protest again, when Murphy shoved the stick in her hand. “Atom told me Harrison gave you a hard time earlier?”

“What are you, my great protector now?” Jill asked teasingly in between bites of meat.

“Yes.”

“John it’s fine...”

“I need to go,” Murphy said, looking over his shoulder.

Jill followed his gaze to see Bellamy glaring at them. What was his problem? “Bellamy sent you over here to get my wristband off, didn’t he?”

The comment took Murphy aback. She was wrong, Bellamy would probably flip for giving her food. “No, he didn’t. Any more problems from Harrison or anyone else you come straight to me, okay?”

“Yeah, fine. Thanks for the grub.”

______

“Isn’t that the girl who slaughtered a guard and her friend?”

“Jillian Slate is more dangerous than a grounder! I don’t want to share a camp with a crazy bitch like her!”

“They should have floated her along with her parents.”

“I heard she had a baby on the ark with a guard.”

“She’s bat shit crazy!”

“Her parents took bribes so they could experiment new drugs on her.”

“I bet she keeps the knife underneath her hat.”

Jill tried to pretend she didn’t care what others said about her, but it was hard to hide her embarrassment during the daytime. She was the girl who went crazy and killed her best friend for no reason. Jill shuffled uncontrollably, she could feel a gaze burning into her. She looked up to notice Bellamy watching her.

Hearing a muffled ‘fucking bitch’ she turned to look at Harrison along with another camp member walking behind her. Shit. She hadn’t seen him since the incident the day before, and he looked like hell. Jill had punched him in the face, but not hard enough to bruise him. Harrison now had a burst lip, a bruised jawline, and two black eyes.

Bellamy watched as the girl who appeared to be bothered by nothing blinked away tears. He saw how Jill’s chest and neck turned red. Bellamy didn’t know her story, but he knew better than to believe gossip spread on the ark. Bellamy rarely gave a shit, but after hearing how she stuck up for Octavia he decided she might be good to have around for his sisters sake. He was strangely drawn to Jill for many reasons.

“Bell” spun to face Octavia coming towards him.

“Any news on Jasper?” He asked.

His sister just shook his head, “no not yet but..”

“Murphy, stop!”

Both siblings turned to see Clarke and Finn trying to pull Murphy off someone. Bellamy stormed over and demanded to know what was going on.

“If you say one more thing about her and I will fucking kill you.” Murphy screamed in a boy called Jack's face.

“It was just a joke, I meant nothing by it!” the boy pleaded before he ran away.

Murphy ignored everyone as they spoke to him. He walked towards Jill, who was staring at him wide-eyed and dragged her by the arm towards his tent.

“Does someone want to tell us what that was about? We already have Jasper to worry about, the last thing anyone needs is Murphy causing drama,” Octavia snapped.

“She’s right, Bellamy, you need to get Murphy under control before he causes a riot.” Clarke preached.

“Sure thing princess,” Bellamy said mockingly, “anything else? No good. Now what caused it?”

“Jake said Jill should have been floated along with her parents.” Wells informed them, frowning.

“And Murphy beat him up over that? You know what, don't answer that. I’m going to check on Jasper, Bell keep your men in line!” Clarke said before storming off.

“I think Jake had it coming,” Octavia shrugged.

Bellamy watched as Murphy pulled Jill into his tent. He wondered what exactly was going on between them. In his eyes, Murphy wasn’t interested in Jill until something happened to her. She was just an excuse for him to start a fight.

______

When Murphy reached his tent, he finally let go of Jill’s arm. Murphy was so angry at what Jack had said he never even realized how tightly he had been holding onto her. Not until he saw his friend rubbing the part he had just let go of.

“Shit, I’m sorry. Are you okay?” He asked, closing his eyes.

Murphy was taken aback when he felt a set of lips pressed against his right cheek. He opened his eyes to see Jill smiling up at him.

“Thank you, nobody has ever stuck up for me like that before.” Jill smiled sadly at him before stepping back.

“Ignore them, they don’t know shit about you. I will fuck up anyone who says anything about you again, hell I’d kill anyone who dares to mess with you.” For once Murphy was being truthful. On the ark he had nobody for a very long time, the only person he truly trusted was Jill, and now he had her back he wouldn’t let anyone threaten that.

He pressed his forehead against hers, “nobody is going to come in here, my tent is off limits. You can take it off.”

Jill leaned back from him and nodded, she pulled the hat off her head and let her long purple hair fall down past her shoulders. Regardless of her hair being covered in sweat from wearing her hat all day, Murphy still ran his fingers through the ends of it. He studied her for a moment.

“What’s going on?”

Murphy stepped back confused, “what do you mean?”

Jill sighed, “You are being a total dick towards others down here, why? I saw what you did to Wells. Did you really need his wrist band that badly?”

Murphy started to laugh, a deep belly laugh that confusd Jill. She didn’t think it was funny.

“Sorry, did I say something amusing?”

Murphy shook his head. “No...you just say what you think, I’d missed that.”

“What about the Wells thing?” Jill asked, now frowning.

“He’s annoying, and I hate him.” Murphy pouted before sighing, there was no point lying to the girl in-front of him. “What was I supposed to do? Say no? Bellamy would have turned on me.”

Jill didn’t know what to say. John was trying to keep in with Bellamy. She couldn’t judge him for that, right? He just wanted to survive.

Murphy moves to look out the flaps of his tent. “I need you to do something for me.”

“What do you desire me to do?”Jill asked, shoving her hair back beneath her hat.

Murphy traced his fingers along her wrist “Let me take your bracelet off.”

“What? Why?” She asked, snapping her wrist back. “I don’t want to, and I don’t agree with you or Mbege forcing others to remove them.”

“That’s why I’m asking!” He snapped back. “If I take this stupid thing off now, then Mbege and Bellamy won’t have a reason to be near you.”

“I thought you said I shouldn’t listen to them?” She eyed him suspiciously.

He stepped closer to her and spoke in a low voice. “I can’t be around all the time to protect you.”

“And what makes you think I need protecting? I’ve looked after myself for years. All on my own.” The last part stung when she saw the look in his eyes.

“Jill listen to me. Most of the people down here are real criminals, people who deserved to be locked up. I don’t trust them, and don’t want them to hurt you to get that metal thing off your wrist...”

“Do you think they would hurt me to get it?” Jill asked quietly.

Murphy sighed, “I honestly don’t know. Things are changing down here fast, and we need to do whatever it takes to survive.” He linked his fingers with Jill. “Bellamy is running this place and is planning making everyone remove them tonight...it’s better to make your enemies close friends.”

“Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.”

“Whatever. Just think about it, please?” Murphy groaned.

Jill shoved his chest playfully. “John Murphy begging me? I never thought I’d see the day.”

Murphy grunted in response to her comment. Jill didn’t seem to release how far Bellamy will go to get control of the camp.

Jill leaning closer to him. “What’s in it for me if I take it off?”

Murphy smirked at her, “you’ll only find out if you do it.”

Jill shoved him playfully again before going to leave his tent, when she felt Murphy grab her hand.

“I think you should sleep with me from now on. I mean at least I’ll know you're safe during the night. You can have the bed and I’ll sleep on the ground.” he said, staring into her gray eyes.

“I can’t, I’m letting Steph stay with me, so I can keep her safe.” Jill smiled. Murphy could be a manipulative asshole but deep down he was good.

Murphy let out a deep sigh. That wasn’t the answer he wanted. “The minute anyone tries anything I want you to come find me, okay?”

“Sure thing, babe. Now we better go before you’re boss comes looking for you.”

Murphy shook his head, smirking before following Jill towards the food tent.

______

Another night of Bellamy, Mbege and Murphy acting like total jackasses was beyond irritating. Murphy wasn’t lying when he said they would force everyone to take off their bracelets. Most people had agreed so far, especially after Mbege punched the one guy who said no.

Jill noticed Wells, Clarke, and Finn all frowning at them burning the bracelets. She had a choice to make, let Murphy take hers off, or refuse with the risk of getting sucked into Wells' argument. She decided to let Murphy take it off.

Jill had been sitting with Steph when they first arrived, but Steph had a panic attack and returned to their tent. Jill felt sorry for her and wished she could make the young girl feel better.

Jill jumped when Bellamy suddenly appeared in front of her. He crouched down to her level. Jill looked away, while lifting her wrist up. She was waiting for the pain to start, but It surprised her that all she could feel was the cold smooth side of the blade before a pinching feeling.

“Ouch, you don’t need to be so rough.”

“Sorry.”

Bellamy was still holding onto her wrist, gently rubbing the part of her wrist he had scratched. Neither of them noticed the way Murphy was glaring over at them.

“Bellamy!”

Octavia called her brother when she saw the look on Murphy’s face. She wasn’t an idiot and knew exactly what her brother was doing. He was trying to get a rise out of him.

The moment Bellamy left, Jill felt like she could breathe again, that was until Clarke sat down next to her. Couldn’t she have a minute to herself?

The blonde pointed towards her wrist. “I’m surprised you let Bellamy take it off.”

Jill shrugged. “Why not? The ark has done nothing for me, and nobody will care if it says I’m dead.”

“What about everybody else? If the others think we are dead, they won’t follow us down. We need to let them know it’s safe.” Clarke said, frowning.

“I just told you I don’t have anyone else on the ark. Why are you even sitting next to me? Aren’t you afraid I might snap and kill you?” Jill watched, amused as Clarke’s face turned red. “Yeah, I heard what you said about me, and it’s not true.”

“I thought...”

“Let’s not be fake, okay? You don’t like me, so don’t pretend to care what I do and don’t try to guilt me into something.”

Jill stormed off towards the gate. She wasn’t sure why, but Clarke’s comments had gotten to her. Jill made sure nobody was watching as she left camp. It was actually quite beautiful in the forest, grounders and radioactive land aside it would have been a nice place to live.

“Jill! What the hell are you doing?”

She spun to see Murphy storming towards her. He looked extremely pissed off.

“I had to get out of there, I couldn’t stand it any longer.” Jill admitted.

Murphy stepped closer to her. “You had me worried, I thought something had happened to you.” He snapped. His harsh expression softened when he saw how sad Jill looked. “I get it, it’s hard trying to fit in when all anybody see’s is the worst in you. How’s the wrist?”

It’s fine. If you want to go back, that’s fine, I just need some time away from it all.” Jill said, looking at the ground.

Murphy reaches out a hand for Jill to take. “Come on, I got something I need to show you.”

______

Murphy led her to a large pool of water, Jill stopped walking as she watched him get closer to it. The thought of entering dark water was making her nervous.

“It’s a natural spring, nothing is going to hurt you I promise.” Murphy said without looking back at her as he began removing his clothes.

“What are you doing?” Jill asked.

“Going for a swim, the water is still warm. I found the place the other night and thought you’d like it.” Murphy shrugged before jumping into the water.

Jill couldn’t help but smile at him as he showed her his trademark cheeky grin. “Turn around then.”

Murphy did as she said but shouted back to her, “it’s dark I wouldn’t see anything anyway..hey what are you doing?”

Jill had stripped down to her underwear and was washing the rest of their clothes.

“I’m glad you are down here...I was worried about you, Jill. Things on the ark weren’t the same without you,” he said softly.

Jill turned to face him. “We used to have so much fun before all that happened.”

“We did. I always wondered how much trouble we would have gotten into if they kept us together.” Murphy grinned.

“I think you are making up for all the trouble we missed out on the ark down here, don’t you?” Jill said, giving him a knowing smile which Murphy smirked at.

He and Jill beamed at each other in a comfortable silence, both just happy to be with each other. So many words unsaid. Jill broke the silence by splashing water into his face before giggling and swimming away.

Murphy just looked at her with an amused look on his face, this was the girl he remembered. Always having fun and laughing, not having a care in the world. No matter how bleak it got.

“Scared you can’t keep up?” she teased him.

Murphy began swimming after her until he eventually caught her. He grabbed her ankle and playfully pulled Jill towards him, grinning. Neither one of them was sure what happened next, but before they knew it they pressed together their lips. Years of flirting, friendship and tension, all coming together at once.

Murphy began kissing Jill's neck, leaving a trail of marks down her until he reached her bra. Murphy wasn’t a virgin, but he felt this was virgin territory.

Jill crashed her lips against his again, while running her fingers through his hair as he squeezed her ass.

Murphy suddenly pulled away.

“John, what’s wrong?” Jill asked, worried.

“I think we should go.” Murphy said bluntly.

Jill said nothing but done as he suggested and got out the water. “What just happened?”

“I thought I heard...”

Jill let out a loud scream. Everything turned red, before it turned dark. She glanced down to see her skin turning a deep shade of red.

Next chapter

[bellamyblake]

I would love to hear about all the headcanons you have for bellamy blake. Missing him

Boy I got so many...like Idk where to even start I got so many posts unpublished in my drafts when it comes to him.

P.S This got a little poetic lol

when he was a kid he was an anxious one, even before Octavia was born. 

he doesn’t remember his dad dying but he has this vague memory of him being held up and his father’s soothing voice so when it disappeared, when he was floated and it all suddenly went away, so abruptly, so awfully like a flower stomped over, like a rock thrown in the river, he became anxious, worried, all the time;

it never left him; it stayed with him and only got worse with time. 

he’d cling to his mom like a koala bear and after when O was born, he’d hold onto them for dear life, like if they disappeared, if he couldn’t pull them to his chest and tell them how much he cares, the world would crumble.

(he doesn’t know one day it will)

life is hard for him; the unusual hard; there’s a heaviness he carries around no matter what;

clarke’s the first and only one to ever see it because she has it too; the difference with her, she realizes, is that at least she had a happy childhood; 

bellamy never did;

his eyes, even when laughing were a little too dark, too heavy, like he wished he could hold up the universe but couldn’t and blamed himself for his weakness all the damn time;

like his heart pulled him to the ground, to earth, instead of elevating him;

like his rough hands couldn’t hold anything warm and good, didn’t deserve to;

so she made sure to remind him, all the time-that his heart is big and broad and bright like the sun; that it spills love and kindness and nothing else; that there’s darkness in him like in her but it’s okay; that there’s sadness in him like in her and some days it overpowered you;

which is okay as well;

that his eyes are caring and kind; that his touch is so sweet and gentle it could make a butterfly envy his gracefulness;

he was rough around the edges but so was she; 

inside her there was love, though, as in him;

inside them there was weariness and pain and heartache;

but sun rays too; and golden sunsets; and blue skies that they deserved to see; 

they deserved to live;

nobody knows, because they all think of him as this big strong person who commands respect and fear and is not afraid to tell them to can it when they’re not doing their work or scold them for being idiots or even punish them when they make mistakes, all for the good of the camp, so they don’t...they don’t know-

they don’t know he likes to wake up at the crack of dawn and kiss her forehead before he puts on his boots and heads to the backyard to bring woods for the fire;

they don’t know he loses his socks all the time and puts his bare feet in his rough boots that gives him blisters that sometimes make him a bit too cranky;

they don’t know he can’t start his day without washing his face first; 

they also don’t know he wakes up screaming at night and lets Clarke pull him to her chest and run her fingers through his curls while he soaked her shirt that’s actually his but that she loves wearing to bed;

they have no idea he loves peppering her face with kisses until she wakes and sliding his hand under her shirt, teasing her boobs;

and they don’t realize that he has a bad knee that he broke a few winters ago and that still hurt, so he only ever let her see him limping and he only ever allowed her to massage it;

nobody even suspects he snores lying on his back but not on his stomach; 

they don’t even assume he loves being the little spoon;

when he’s hurt or sick he’s like a child, pulling himself to her and resting his head on her stomach, nudging her hand with his nose until she started stroking his head, making her laugh with his attitude;

he was still anxious all those years after he lost his dad; 

so anxious that when he held his son he cried and wondered if he’d ever be a good father at all; 

but all she had to do was reach out for his hand;

and when their fingers intertwined the world came home and undone at the same time; 

[slytherinbarnes]

Sub Rosa [3]

iii. earth kills

Pairing: Bellamy Blake x reader

Word Count: 3.6k

Warnings: Language, violence, character death. 

Summary: Bellamy takes a small group of hunters into the woods, and you catch someone trying to follow along. When you follow, you end up stuck with your least favorite person. 

a/n: I’m dedicating this chapter to the two sweet anons that messaged me to tell me they were enjoying this series so far, thank you! also, hello new followers and readers, thank you for being here!!!

previous chapter // season masterlist // series masterlist

(flashbacks are italicized)

The sound of the TV floats through the thin walls of the Ark, into the room you share with Clarke. Outside the bedroom, in the living room, sits the rest of your family, Clarke’s best friend, and his father, the Chancellor. 

In other words, make a sound, and you’re screwed.

You’re hidden in a closet, behind a false wall engineered by your father, in the play space you and Clarke used as kids. Now, it serves as your prison cell. Your parents rarely invite anyone over, and you don’t have to stay in the space during the day anymore, like you used to when you were younger. But occasionally, the Jaha family comes over for dinner or to watch sports games. Your parents say it’s unavoidable, and the best way to prevent any suspicion. So on the designated days, you crawl into the playspace and keep quiet, forever playing the role of the secret twin.

You’re going through Clarke’s schoolbooks, working on the same assignments she has to do. It’s something your parents always insisted on; you may not be able to see the Ark, and live like the others, but you were going to get the same education Clarke got, no matter what. 

You glance up from your work when you hear the creak of the front door open, and strain to listen.

“What’d I miss?”

You can hear her move further into the room, her voice growing more faint as she nears the TV. The chancellor’s response barely reaches you in the confined space. “Your husband and daughter being obnoxious.”

Daughter. Singular. 

You try to push down the rising pang in your chest, closing your eyes and breathing in deeply, ignoring the sounds of the group just outside the door. You feel your breathing start to calm just as your dad’s voice grows louder. “Just for a few minutes.”

“Everything okay?”

The door scrapes open, and his voice starts to fade as he leaves. “You know this old boat. It’s always something.”

-

You wake with a start, the memory fading from your mind as someone’s screams enter it.

“No! No!”

You sit up, and look down from the tree, eyes landing on a small girl sleeping at the base. You start to rise, preparing to climb down to wake her up, when Clarke steps into your line of vision, reaching for her. “Hey, wake up. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s just a dream.” The girl sits up and looks around, fear written all over her face. “You’re Charlotte, right? I’m Clarke. It’s okay to be scared. Do you want to talk about it?”

Clarke settles down next to Charlotte, as the girl quietly answers, “It’s…my parents. They were floated and they…and I see it in my dreams and I just…”

Clarke’s voice is soft when she answers, “I understand. My dad was floated, too.” You see her fingers brush against her wrist, touching the watch, and the bracelet she’s worn since you were kids. She takes a deep breath, “So, how did you end up here?”

“Well…we were taking my parents’ things to the redistribution center and…I kind of lost it. They said I assaulted a guard.”

“I can’t say I blame you.” She smiles and looks up, past your tree to the clear night sky. She points a bright light in the sky, larger than the stars around it. “See that bright star up there? That’s The Ark orbiting above us. I think whatever happened up there, you know, the pain,” she glances at her wrist, “the loss...maybe we can move past that now. Maybe being on the ground is our second chance.”

“Do you really believe that?”

She pulls Charlotte close, comforting her. “I’m trying to.”

As she settles against the base of the tree, you settle against the branches above her, following her eyes as they seek out the one place you called home before landing on Earth. 

-

Jasper’s groaning affects everyone in camp.

Most of the delinquents keep their distance from the dropship, trying to get away from the sounds of his pain, each scream a stark reminder that anyone could be next. You are no exception, and spend most of your day wandering the camp and picking berries and people watching. 

It’s midday when you decide to find Octavia, but she finds you first. “Have you seen my brother?”

You shake your head. “Not since last night. But when you see him, tell him he’s a dick.”

She plops down on the log beside you. “You too?”

“Yeah, we had a moment last night. Brought up some stuff I didn’t really want to relive.” You turn and give her a small smile, “What did he do to you?”

“You know Atom? The one he got to babysit me while you guys were gone?” You nod. “Well, we kissed.” Your mouth drops in shock, but you smile as she continues, “A few times actually. And things were going really good, until Bellamy went on a power trip, and now Atom won’t even look at me.”

“I’m sorry, Octavia.”

“It was the first time I really felt like a teenager. Or a person, really.”

You both sit in companionable silence, feeling the same things, before you bump her with your shoulder. “Was he a good kisser, at least?”

She laughs and elbows you, and you burst into laughter with her. As you both start to calm down, she whispers, “The best.” and it sends you both off again.

You’re both still quietly giggling when a scream rings out across camp. You and Octavia turn to each other with matching looks of alarm, and you mutter, “Jasper.”

His name pushes you both into action and you take off running towards the dropship. She makes it to the ladder first and you follow, and when your head breaches the second level, you see Octavia running towards Jasper, who’s passed out. Finn and Wells are holding his legs down, and Clarke is at his side, blade in hand. Octavia screams out, “Stop it! You’re killing him.”

You walk over to the group and kneel on the other side of Jasper, acoss from Clarke. Finn looks up at Octavia, “She’s trying to save his life.”

A voice immediately follows Finn’s, “She can’t.” Seconds later, Bellamy’s head pops through the hatch and he steps onto the second floor. 

Wells stands from Jasper’s legs, and gets right in Bellamy’s face. “Back off.”

“We didn’t drag him through miles of woods just to let him die,” Clarke bites back, while checking his wounds. 

“Kid’s a goner. If you can’t see that, you’re deluded. He’s making people crazy.”

“Sorry if Jasper’s an inconvenience to you, but this isn’t the Ark. Down here, every life matters.” You meet Clarke’s eyes, and offer a nod in agreement.

Bellamy’s voice is hard and angry, his glare leveled at the back of Clarke’s head. “Take a look at him. He’s a lost cause.”

You look up at Bellamy, “Why don’t you just go to hell? No one wants you here anyways.”

The room is silent, until Clarke turns to Octavia and whispers, “Octavia, I’ve spent my whole life watching my mother heal people. If I say there’s hope, there’s hope.”

Bellamy responds to Clarke, but his eyes never leave yours. “This isn’t about hope, it’s about guts. You don’t have the guts to make the hard choices. I do. He’s been like this for three days. If he’s not better by tomorrow, I’ll kill him myself.”

“I’d like to see you try.”

Bellamy ignores you and turns to leave, stopping only to look at his sister. “Octavia, let’s go.”

“I’m staying here.”

He says nothing, and turns back to the ladder, climbing down quickly. Monty watches him leave, glaring. “Power-hungry, self-serving jackass. He doesn’t care about anyone but himself.” He turns and looks at Octavia, “No offense.”

Finn looks around at the group. “Yeah. Bellamy is all that. But he also happens to be right.”

You all turn to glare at Finn, before Clarke looks at you. “Can you get me some clean water?”

“Sure, be right back.”

You climb down the ladder, dropping to the floor below, and head out of the dropship to the water supply. As you’re filling up the containers, you watch as Charlotte looks around before sneaking off, away from the camp. Curious, you put the water containers on the ground and follow her. You find her quickly, darting in and out of bushes, ducking behind trees, eyes trained on something up ahead. You jog ahead, light on your feet, reaching her in a few seconds. You touch her lightly on the shoulder, “Charlotte?” She nearly jumps out of her skin and turns to face you, looking scared. When she recognizes you as one of the 100, she calms. “What are you doing out here?”

“A hunting party just left. I wanted to go with them, but I knew they wouldn’t let me, so I decided to follow them.”

You nod, “Mind if I walk with you? I could use the air.”

She nods her head, and you both start walking again, following the path of the hunting party. You keep your eyes on the horizon, the faint outline of the group of boys just visible enough for you to follow them. “I heard about your parents.” You glance over at her, and sadness passes across her features. “I’m sorry. I know how hard it is.”

“You do?”

“Clarke’s my twin. Our dad got floated while I was locked up.”

She turns to study your features, “You’re the invisible twin?”

You cringe at the only name people ever seem to call you. “The very same.”

Up ahead, the hunting party stops, growing larger as you both move closer. “What’s it like?” You look down, a question in your eyes. “To have a sister, I mean. A twin.”

A smile graces your features as memories flash across your brain. “I have a built in best friend. Someone that truly understands me. Someone to tell all my secrets to, cry with, laugh with. We shared everything.” You glance over at her, “You know, sisters don’t always have to be related by blood.”

“They don’t?”

“Nope. Sometimes, you find people in your life that become your family, even though you aren’t related by blood. Sisters included.” You pause when you hear the loud sounds of a boar, and you grab Charlotte. “Stay close, there’s a boar nearby.”

She nods and you both creep forward slowly, the group of boys now within walking distance to you. Up ahead you see Bellamy inching closer to the boar, axe in hand. Charlotte must see it too, because she steps forward quickly, snapping a twig in the process. You see Bellamy turn, and instinctively you grab Charlotte and pull her behind you. Your eyes meet Bellamy’s, just as his axe lands in the tree inches from your head. He glares as he stalks towards you. “What the hell are you doing? I almost killed you.”

He steps forward and pries the axe from the tree, and you glare back as you answer him. “Charlotte wandered from camp and I followed her to make sure she was okay. She wanted to see you hunt.”

Charlotte steps from behind you, into Bellamy’s line of sight, and his gaze softens. “Okay then,” he reaches down and pulls out a knife, handing it to Charlotte. “But you can’t hunt without a weapon. Ever killed something before?”

Charlotte shakes her head and he smiles, “Who knows? Maybe you’re good at it.”

He turns and walks towards the rest of the group and you and Charlotte follow. As you near the fallen pig and the rest of the hunting party, a horn sounds through the forest. You turn and look around, confused. “What was that?”

“Grounders?” someone asks, and you step closer to Charlotte. Suddenly, a sound comes rumbling through the trees, preceded by a group of screaming teenagers. “It’s a poisonous cloud, run!”

You grab Charlotte’s hand and take off running, with Bellamy right beside you. You turn and look over your shoulder at the approaching fog, yellow and electric. You trip over something and stumble, losing Charlotte’s hand, and barely catching yourself from falling. 

Bellamy turns back to you and Charlotte, “Come on! There are caves this way.”

You both follow Bellamy, frantic, and he turns and grabs Charlotte’s hand, pulling her in front of him. He reaches back and grabs yours, guiding you as he stumbles through the trees and over a small hill. He pulls you both around a corner and pushes Charlotte into the cave first, before pulling you in afterwards. As you make it through the doorway, Atom yells from somewhere outside. “Bellamy!”

Bellamy steps back into the fog, which makes him instantly cough, and you pull him back through the doorway. When he’s inside, you both look down at your joined hands, and you pull yours away angrily, before moving deeper inside the cave, as far away as you can get in the enclosed space. 

-

Before long, night falls, and you stand from your spot. “I’ll take first watch, you two get some sleep.”

Bellamy nods and pulls off his jacket, draping it over an already sleeping Charlotte. You move to the front of the cave and look out into the night, keeping an eye for any sign of danger. 

Bellamy isn’t asleep for long when Charlotte starts to cry out, tortured by another nightmare. You stand and move closer to wake her, but Bellamy wakes up and puts a comforting hand on her shoulder. “Charlotte, wake up.”

“I’m sorry.”

Bellamy’s voice is quiet when he asks, “Does it happen often?”

She says nothing, only letting out a sigh, and Bellamy nods. “What are you scared of?” She’s silent and he shakes his head, “You know what? It doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is what you do about it.”

“But… I’m asleep.”

He smiles softly, “Fears are fears. Slay your demons when you’re awake, they won’t be there to get you when you sleep.”

“Yeah, but…How?”

“You can’t afford to be weak. Down here, weakness is death, fear is death.” They stare at each other for a minute, before he gets an idea. “Let me see that knife I gave you.”

She pulls the knife out and passes it to him, and he holds it tightly. “Now, when you feel afraid, you hold tight to that knife and you say, ‘screw you. I’m not afraid.’”

He hands the knife back to her and she grips it in both hands, quietly repeating, “Screw you. I’m not afraid.”

He gives her an unimpressed look, and she repeats it with more confidence. “Screw you. I’m not afraid."

He smiles at her and pats her knee. “Slay your demons, kid. Then you’ll be able to sleep.”

He turns away, and his eyes meet yours. He stands and moves to the mouth of the cave, near you, as Charlotte rolls over and falls back asleep. You sit there in silence, stewing, before you spit, “It’s interesting to see you play nice, when you make a joke out of assault.”

His head whips towards you, face in shock, and he mutters, “Assault? What are you talking about?”

You roll your eyes before standing up. “I’m going to bed. Wake me up if something happens.”

-

Shumway steals your dreams. And you are full of relief when Bellamy shakes your shoulder the next morning, freeing you from the nightmare of memories stuck on repeat in your head. He ventures into the morning air first, unharmed, before turning to you and Charlotte. “It’s all clear.” He raises his voice and yells into the trees, “Anybody out here? Jones?”

Somewhere to the right, Jones' voice reaches you, “We’re here!”

You follow Bellamy through the forest, and soon, you are standing amongst the hunting party from the day before. Bellamy appraises the group, “Lost you in the stew. Where’d you go?”

“Made it to a cave down there. The hell was that?”

“I don’t know.” Bellamy looks over the three members. "Where's Atom?"

They all shrug, and Bellamy shifts into leadership mode. “Split up, we have to find him.” 

Everyone branches off, searching for any sign of Atom. It’s not long before Charlotte screams out in fear, and you run closer to her, “What? What is it?”

She’s standing at the top of a hill and she points down at the base of it, where a body rests on the ground. You cover her eyes, and pull her into a hug, “Hey, don’t look.”

She cries into your jacket and Bellamy runs up a second later, watching Charlotte as she sobs in your arms. He looks up at you with a questioning gaze, and you tip your head towards Atom’s body. “Son of a bitch. Atom!”

He rushes towards Atom, and you step away from Charlotte. “I’m going to go help him, okay? Stay here, and don’t look.”

She nods and wipes away her tears, and you jog down the hill after Bellamy, who is now kneeling beside Atom. He looks over at you, unsure what to do. “Your mom’s a doctor, and Clarke…”

“I’m not her. I only know a few things that I picked up over the years, I wasn’t in training like her.”

You look down at Atom, and work hard to hide the fear in your eyes. His skin is bloody and covered in blisters, eyes cloudy, and his breath struggles as it leaves and enters his lungs. Atom turns towards Bellamy, begging, “Kill me. Kill me. Kill...me.”

Bellamy stands unsure what to do, and Charlotte steps down the hill and wanders closer. Eyes still locked on Atom, she reaches into her pocket and pulls out her knife, before sliding it into Bellamy’s grip. 

His eyes lock on her in shock and she whispers, “Don’t be afraid.”

Regaining his composure, he turns to the others, “Go back to camp.” They follow his command and walk off, and Bellamy turns back to Charlotte. “Charlotte, you too.”

She turns and walks away, and Bellamy kneels back beside Atom again, watching him. “Kill...me. Bell...a...my... pl...ea..se.”

Bellamy holds the knife in his hand, over Atom’s body, watching in horror as he struggles to breathe, but unable to do anything about it. You watch as Bellamy lets out a shaky breath, and he looks over at you. You place a comforting hand on Atom’s chest, and he turns towards you. "Plea...se."

You look up at Bellamy and see his jaw clenching as he hears Atom’s pain. You take a shaky breath and smile down at him, “You’re going to be okay, Atom. You won’t be in any more pain.”

You start humming a song your dad always hummed to you when you didn’t feel well, ‘Clair de lune’. As you hum the familiar song, you reach towards Bellamy, and slide the knife from his grip, before pushing it into the side of Atom’s neck, killing him almost instantly. When you’re sure he’s no longer suffering, you stop humming, and look over at Bellamy, who’s watching you closely. “We should, um.” You wipe away a few tears, “We should get him back to camp. Do you have something we can carry him with?”

Bellamy nods, and pulls out a piece of parachute from his pack. “Okay, we need two thick branches, and we can make a stretcher.”

You both split off, each returning minutes later with a long branch. You tie the parachute between the branches, and place the stretcher beside Atom’s body. Then you each take a side and carefully lift him and place him into the parachute, before you take off your jacket and use it to cover his face. When you’re finished, Bellamy turns to you, “I’ll take the lead.”

You agree before you each lift one end, and make the trip back to the campsite in mutual silence, both of you still in shock. When you arrive back to camp, Wells is the first to meet you. “I’ll get started on the grave.”

Bellamy nods and you both lower Atom’s body to the ground carefully. Octavia comes running from the dropship, eyes locked on Bellamy, “It’s about time. Where have you been?”

You step forward and grab her arm to try to stop her from getting any closer, “C’mon, you can update me on Jasper.”

She pulls her arm free and gives you a weird look before making a beeline for Bellamy. “Octavia, just stay there. Please, stay back.”

He grabs her and tries to stop her, but she pulls her wrist free. “Bell, stop.” She sees the stretcher on the ground behind him and walks towards it, kneeling down to get a closer look. She pulls your jacket down, revealing Atom’s face, and her breath comes out in a shaky gasp. “Atom.”

Bellamy looks at her, the hurt obvious in his eyes, “There’s nothing I could do.”

She holds up a hand to silence him, “Don’t.” She starts to cry before covering his face again, and running off. 

You stand to the side, watching, and when you meet his eyes, you seem to sense the question in them. Nodding once, you run after Octavia, preparing to comfort her. 

You find her sitting in a small clearing, sobbing quietly. She turns when she hears your footsteps, and you offer her a sad smile. “Can I join you?”

She says nothing, only nods, before wiping away her tears. You sit beside her, and reach for her hand. “I’m sorry about Atom.”

She inhales a shaky breath, “I guess we’re gonna have to get used to people dying down here, aren’t we?”

You give her hand a light squeeze, and whisper, “Probably. But that doesn’t stop the hurt you’re feeling right now.”

She rests her head on your shoulder, and you both sit in silence for a long time, lost in your own worlds. 

-

next chapter

[cantgetoutofmyheda]

Falling in Love in a Quarantine: Part 3

OP | Part 1 | Part 2 —

PART 3: Day 6

“Where’s Griff??” Raven screamed through the laptop screen, her half-empty glass of red wine was peeking through the corner of the screen.

It was the first Friday that everyone had officially spent “apart.” Lincoln had the idea of replacing the group’s normal Friday happy hours with a virtual version—everyone was conferenced in. Lincoln and Octavia from Lincoln’s place, Raven and Anya from Anya’s, and Bellamy and Echo from their loft. Lexa had tuned in, nestled into Clarke’s couch. The blonde in question was still asleep—she had gotten home at noon from her fourth night shift in a row, luckily it was the last until Sunday.

“Stop screaming, jeez. Anya, calm your woman,” Lexa smirked at the camera, before taking a sip of her beer.

Anya looked towards Raven, then towards the camera on her laptop, “I think we all know there’s no calming this one, Lex. But yeah, where’s Griff? Thought she was off today.”

“Sleeping,” Lexa took another sip and pulled Sandy into the frame, “but I do have this lovely lady by my side.

The computer speaker sounded with “oohs” and “aahs” as the retriever made a quick appearance on the screen.

When Sandy finally settled down into Lexa’s lap, Octavia chimed into the lulling conversation, “So it’s been six days at Griff’s, Lex? How’s it going over there?”

“It’s been good,” Lexa shrugged. “She’s been working the night shift for the past four nights, so we haven’t seen each other too much. I’m just trying to have some food ready for her when she gets home in the morning and before she leaves so she doesn’t have to worry about that.”

“That’s sweet,” Raven raised a brow, earning an elbow jab from her girlfriend for the sarcastic tone in her voice.

Lexa cocked her head to the side, “Why’d you hit her, Ahn?”

“They’re just being stupid,” Octavia rolled her eyes. “What have you been cooking? I miss a good Lexa Woods meal. Remember that once impromptu brunch we had? You told everyone to come over with 3 ingredients from their kitchen and you magically whipped up the most delicious meal ever?”

“I’d hardly call that weird veggie mash with three kinds of sausage the ‘most delicious meal ever,’” Lexa shook her head. “But yes, that was fun. And just making little breakfasts and dinner stuff, nothing fancy.”

Lexa didn’t realize why, but Sandy had jumped to her feet and trotted out of the living room. It wasn’t until she heard another pair of steps padding towards her that she realized Clarke had finally woken up.

The blonde stood in the entryway of the room, arms stretched towards the ceiling—her shirt rising just enough to expose the smallest bit of skin. A big yawn escaped her mouth, signaling to the group on the computer screen that the doctor was finally awake. She offered the brunette a lazy smile as she came towards the couch, “Nothing fancy, my ass, Woods.”

“Griff!!!” echoed through the small speaker.

The blonde finally made her way to the couch and took a seat right next to her new, temporary roommate. She slung her head onto Lexa’s shoulders and sighed, it was apparent that she was still exhausted. “Hi, guys,” was all she could muster out.

Lexa turned her attention to the blonde, “Hungry?”

“Always,” Clarke mumbled, “I just need a second but I’ll get up and find something.”

Lexa placed the laptop on the table, directly in front of Clarke, before slowly shifting to stand up, “Why don’t you catch up with everyone and fill them in on all the lives you’re saving. I’ll warm something up for you.”

Clarke looked up at Lexa with a smile and a nod, “You sure?”

“Yep,” Lexa smiled back, “lamb or the truffle alfredo?”

The blonde’s eyes lit up, “Maybe a little bit of both?”

Lexa nodded, “Water, wine, beer, or hard seltzer?”

“Mmm, hard seltzer,” Clarke answered.

As Lexa walked away, Clarke pulled the computer onto her lap and was met with raised brows from every one of their friends, “Hi?”

“This is cute, Griff,” Raven smirked.

The blonde’s smile shifted into a look of confusion, “Huh?”

“You know,” Anya chimed in. “This little game of domestic living you and my cousin are playing.”

Clarke opened her mouth to say something, but Bellamy beat her to it, “I mean, it’s day six. Glad to see you guys have found your groove.”

“Tell us about the groove, Griff,” Octavia threw in.

Clarke put on her serious face, “Whatever you guys are getting at, please stop.”

“Your wish is our command, Princess,” Anya offered an overly dramatic smile.

“Tell us more about this lamb and truffle alfredo, though,” Lincoln leaned towards his computer camera. “Sounds fucking delicious.”

Clarke finally relaxed into the couch, “It is fucking delicious. She was going crazy the other day trying to get a delivery time slot from the grocery store because she was craving a rack of lamb. I forgot how secretly bougie she was. And the pasta was also to die for—it’s like I have my own personal chef now.”

“Damn, lucky you,” Lincoln shook his head, before turning to Octavia. “All she makes are grilled chicken breasts and salads. I’m starving over here.”

Octavia scoffed at her boyfriend, “Lincoln’s been living off of steak, eggs, chips, and beer. Don’t let him fool you. He’s doing just fine.”

Clarke smiled, “Linc, you knew going into this that O wasn’t going to cook for you. You could have scooped Lexa up before I did and you’d be set.

“Yeah,” he huffed. “I’d be eating like a king.”

The blonde laughed, “Yeah, you would have. Meanwhile I’m just going to get fat with her staying here.”

Echo shook her head, “Oh, please. Like that would ever happen, Clarke.”

“Echo, you don’t get it. She’s cooking all this amazing food, but I’ve been so busy at work and she’s staying in the room with the Peloton, so I haven’t even had a chance to work out,” Clarke groaned.

“I’m sure there are other ways you can get some cardio in, Griff,” Raven wiggled her eyebrows.

The sound of the microwave beeping signaled Lexa’s soon return to the room. “Seriously, quit it,” Clarke commanded.

“Quit what?” Lexa called out, as she made her way into the living room. The plate in one hand and drink in the other was all Clarke needed to light her eyes up.

“Nothing. Now c’mere and give me all that.”

“Wow,” Lexa set everything down on the table before giving the blonde a wink. “Never thought I’d hear you say that to me, Griff.”

“Every one of my friends is extremely insufferable. That’s the conclusion I’ve drawn today,” Clarke deadpanned as she reached for the plate.

[margoshansons]

Desperate Measures 3/?

Bellamy Blake x Reader

Summary: After helping a little girl get over her nightmares, Y/N gets caught in a nasty bout of acid fog with the one person she can’t stand.

Warnings: angst, nightmares, swearing, violence, gore, survivor’s guilt, depression.

Notes: This was a tough one to write, ngl. Based on 1x03 “Earth Kills”

When she slept she saw only nightmares. Visions of another life she must’ve had, despite her scientific background claiming it was all bullshit. There was no other way to describe it. 

This last one had been particularly bad. 

A woman burning at the Stake, claiming she could save hundreds of lives. It was the same voice that had plagued her dreams since she was five years old. The same voice that whispered too many people. The same voice that had driven her mother mad while she waited in her cell during the weeks leading to her floating.

She couldn’t fall back asleep. 

That last nightmare had felt too real. As if she was the one burning up into the skies instead of the unknown woman she saw every night. Jasper’s moans drew her from her thoughts and she gathered her jacket, ready to help in any way possible. The dropship was too full of sleeping prisoners to work on Monty’s radio, so instead, she moved outside, sitting next to a grove of trees, watching the stars twinkle above her as she counted the constellations.

A twig snapped behind her, revealing the existence of the only twelve-year-old in camp. 

“Hi” Y/N smiled softly, meeting the girl’s anxious gaze. “Charlotte right?”

She nodded. The older delinquent patted the patch of grass beside her. “Come on and join me.” 

Charlotte sat next to the eighteen-year-old, scratching at her legs nervously as silence enveloped the two of them. 

“I couldn’t sleep” Charlotte confessed after several minutes of silence, “So I went out on a walk, I didn’t--I didn’t realize I was outside the wall until it was too late. Please don’t tell Bellamy, please.”

Y/N stared at the younger girl, a wild smirk crossing her face as she leaned in close. “Your secret’s safe with me. Why can’t you sleep?”

“I uh, I have nightmares” Charlotte admitted, “My parents got floated and I--uh I just can’t sleep.”

Pain shot through Y/N’s heart. She had been younger than Charlotte when she lost her own mother, and those memories found a way into her dreams as well. 

“I’m sorry that happened to you.” Y/N whispered, “But can I let you in on a little secret?”

Charlotte nodded, apprehension strewn across her face. 

“I get nightmares too” She admitted, making Charlotte the third person to know about her terrors. “That’s why I’m out here tonight.”

Awe crossed the little girl’s face, “You get nightmares? But you’re so strong.”

Y/N laughed lightly at the compliment. “I’m not, I’m just good at getting over them.”

“How?”

She licked her lips, biting her cheek as she debated sharing her strategy with this little girl. Instead, she chose an easier route. “Easy, you find someone to talk to about them.”

“But…” Her face fell. “I don’t have anybody.”

Y/N brushed a strand of hair away from the girl’s forehead, “You have me, and Clarke, and Wells, and Octavia, and everyone in this camp on your side Charlotte. They all wanna help you.”

“Really?” Her bright blue eyes were still fearful as if she didn’t actually believe anything Y/N had been saying up to this point.

She nodded, and the two stayed there the rest of the night until Charlotte fell asleep in her arms. Y/N continued to stare up at the stars, wanting nothing more than a blissful sleep. But Jasper’s moans kept her awake, and Bellamy’s stare provided another distraction as he left the dropship that morning. 

She wouldn’t deny that he was attractive, but that was where her admiration ended for him. To her, he was a nuisance, a problem getting in the way of her and Clarke from taking care of the rest of the camp. The sun began to peek over the trees, clouds joining the yellow orb, marking the second sunrise in a row she had seen on Earth.

It was gorgeous.

Marcus would appreciate this. He grew up on stories about the Earth, the same as she did. So why does it seem like they’ve lost hope? Her gaze hung on the last star glistening in the morning sky, sending a prayer up to the Ark, hoping her dad was listening.

Her eyes drifted closed, hoping the action would lull her back to sleep, curing the tiredness she felt.

“Hey,” Bellamy’s gruff voice interjected her sleeping time. “We’re going hunting.”

Y/N stretched, a yawn escaping her as she slowly removed her arm surrounding Charlotte. “Sure, what do you need?”

His smile looked out of place, “an extra weapon.” He tossed her a spear, the handle barely avoiding hitting the poor girl. She arched an eyebrow. 

“You do know that I suck at combat right?” she double-checked, making sure she didn’t wake up in an alternate dimension where Bellamy Blake was actually being nice to her. 

Instead, he laughed. Laughed. Yep, definitely alternate dimension.

“You handled yourself with the panther, I think you can handle a few rabbits and squirrels.”

She rolled her eyes, pushing herself off the ground with her hands. Bellamy turned to leave, Y/N sending one last look at the sleeping girl before joining him outside the wall. 

“Why are you doing this?” She asked, creeping through the stalks of grass. “Being so nice to me?”

Bellamy paused before announcing his intentions, “Think of it as a thank you for saving my life kind of gift.”

Y/N smirked, hiding the chuckle behind her wall, which had become more glass than steel over the past few days. 

“And as much as I hate to admit it” He began, gaze staring directly at her sunlit face, “You’re the smartest person in camp. We need your brain.”

She froze, throwing a playful look of victory at the older leader, “Was that a compliment I detected Bellamy Blake?”

“Shut up, I already want to take it back.” He threw back, their gaze meeting one more time before a scream launched them out of the moment. The two leaders looked at each other before running in the direction of the sound, boots stampeding against the ground. 

Y/N tossed the spear downward when she saw who it was. 

“Charlotte” She moved closer, raising her voice, “What are you doing here, we could’ve killed you!” 

The girl trembled from the scolding. “I had--I had another nightmare, I woke up and you were gone so I went to find you and--”

Y/N pulled the girl close, hand running through the braids in her hair, soothing the girl until she was back to normal. “Shhh, it’s okay, I’m here.” She broke away momentarily, tilting her chin down to meet the girl’s frightened gaze, “Did you wanna talk about it?”

Charlotte’s gaze shot around, eyeing Bellamy and Atom before softly shaking her head. Y/N understood, whispering, “Alright, maybe later then.”

“She needs to get back to camp” Strict Bellamy was back, a far cry from the easygoing leader she had spent the last few hours with. Unfortunately, Y/N had to agree.

“No please,” Charlotte begged, not wanting to let go of Y/N at all. 

“It’s not safe out here Charlotte” Bellamy warned, a glimpse of his softer side showing through. 

Atom chimed in patronizingly, “Especially for little girls.”

“I’m not little” she shot back, grasping onto Y/N’s hand for strength.

Bellamy bit his lip, a ghost of a smile on his lips. His gaze flickered between the two of them, before handing Charlotte his makeshift knife, grabbing the spear Y/N had dropped earlier. 

“You ever killed something Charlotte?” He asked, eyes flashing with worry. 

She shook her head. 

“Who knows,” Bellamy began to joke, shrugging his shoulders, “You may be good at it.”

Y/N rolled her eyes at his antics, encouraging a twelve-year-old to commit murder her first time on the ground. She brandished her knife, ready to continue on their trail until a bellowing sound tore them away from their goal. 

“What was that?” Jones asked, fear crossing his face. Birds flew past them at light speed, almost as if they were running away. She could only stare behind her, a swirling cloud of yellow and orange smoke making its way toward them, insects crawling over her feet in a futile attempt to survive.

“Something’s wrong,” She whispered reverently, eyes widening as the fog grew closer, “Run! Run now!” 

They wasted no time, crossing the plains as fast as their feet could carry them, Y/N dragging Charlotte behind her, refusing to let her grip up even for a moment. The fog grazed against her hand, a prickling sensation transitioning into excruciating burns.

Acid fog, she realized. 

She sped up her pace, searching frantically for a place to take cover. At any time the fog could be upon them at any time they could be suffering from burns beyond their imagination. 

She found refuge in a cave, Bellamy coming in close behind her, ready to jump out at the sound of Atom’s voice. 

“Bellamy!” He moaned.

“Atom!” Bellamy called, ready to run into the fog at the sound of his friend’s cry. 

Y/N caught his arm, pulling him back into the cave, “Bellamy no! There’s nothing we can do unless you want to die of chemical burns.”

His eyes were rimmed in red as they stared her down, turning his head back toward the acid covered forest where Atom lay dying.

His breathing grew shallow, sniffing until he nodded reluctantly, the three delinquents settling in for the night as they prepared to wait out the fog. 

And then it suddenly dawned on her. She was stuck in a cave for god knows how long surrounded by killer fog on a planet that could kill them. And somehow that wasn’t the worst part. No, the worst part was that she was stuck with Bellamy Blake.

“Y/N?” Charlotte’s voice echoed in the cave as night fell. “I’d like to talk about my nightmare now if that’s okay.”

She settled in against the rocks, sending a glance at Bellamy’s sleeping figure before moving closer so Charlotte didn’t have to worry about being judged. “Sure, yeah, go ahead.”

The little girl inhaled before dropping what had been bothering her since day one. “I see--I see my parents dying.” Sobs threatened to escape, face contorting in pain, “And then I see his face, and--and he sends me down with them.”

Y/N pulled the girl closer, arms wrapping around her as Charlotte sobbed into her shoulder. “Hey, shhh, you’re gonna be okay. Everything’s gonna be alright.” She rubbed her hand up and down the poor girl’s shoulder, shutting her eyes. “I see my parents too.” She admitted, whispering the confession in her hair. She recalled Kane’s regretful face as he told Shumway to press the button. Didn’t even have the decency to do it himself. 

“But it’ll all be over soon, I promise.” Charlotte nodded before floating to sleep in her arms, the girl stirring only during her dreams. 

 Y/N stood up, waiting to take watch. She couldn’t fall asleep. Not when that woman’s screams awaited her.

“You should get some rest” Bellamy’s rough voice murmured from the other side of the cave. 

Flashes of her night terrors crossed her brain and she shook her head, “I’ll uh, I’ll rest when we get back to camp.”

“Sparky,” The nickname sounded unfamiliar in his mouth, “I can see the circles under your eyes, you’re practically asleep already.”

She shook her head, refusing to be that vulnerable with a man who had done nothing but torment her since she got to the ground. “You look just as bad as I do.” She shot back, eliciting a chuckle from the kid. “What do you know?” She whispered, a smile stretching across her face, “Looks like he has a heart after all.”

Bellamy met her gaze, half-smile across his face, brown eyes softening as the fog passed over them. “I always had a heart, I just don’t show it all the time.”

She nodded, recalling another phrase from her dreams, “Love is weakness. I guess that’s another thing we have in common.” She turned her gaze away toward the sleeping child, making sure Charlotte remained still.

Love was death. Attachment was death.

Bellamy wrapped his arms around his knees, “Oh yeah? What’s the other thing?” His tone was playful, her answer anything but.

She met his gaze, uttering the words she had been dying to say to him since he had insulted her their first night on the ground, “We’re both orphans, aren’t we?”

Silence met her words, relief flooding from her shoulders as her stomach untwisted itself. 

Tension coated the cave, encircling the two in a bubble as Bellamy fidgeted under her gaze. It had felt so good to finally say it aloud. To finally tell him what had hurt all those nights ago. 

“Y/N I had no idea--”

“That Kane wasn’t my biological father?” She continued to shove his mistake in his face, unsure why she was unloading all this onto him. “That I’ve been parentless since age five? Both of them floated? Yeah, why would you?”

She turned away, her malicious tone hanging in the air as she drifted off to sleep, the hard rock more comfortable than any tent she had slept in so far.

*** 

Bellamy shook the older girl awake, guilt wracking his body as he did it. If he had known. If he had reached out before making stupid assumptions--

No. She said it herself. Emotion is weakness. Love is weakness.

It was better this way. 

This way they both survived. 

“Franco,” He used her last name, a sick feeling entering his stomach at the idea of using her given name after the fiasco last night. “Franco wake up!”

She jolted upright, as if someone had pushed her through to the other side. Her breathing was small, shallow, and her chest heaved as her eyes flitted between Charlotte and Bellamy’s locked gazes, fear flashing by so fast he swore he imagined it. 

“Come on, the fog’s cleared up.” was all he said, holding out his hand. She grasped it and he pulled her up, quickly disappearing behind the cave exit, meeting with Jones.

“Where’s Atom?” 

“We thought he was with you.”

No. Atom had to have made it. He had to. Confusion spread throughout his chest, his head turning quickly as a scream passed through the air.

“Charlotte!” Y/N called, sprinting past him, racing toward the scream. The two men followed after her, Monroe trailing behind as they reached the clearing where Atom lay, pus boiling all over his skin, blood vessels popping as Bellamy knelt beside him, cradling his friend’s head in his arms.

Y/N knelt across from him, horror circulating in her gaze as she placed a hand against his chest, gently listening to the wheezes, a soft plea barely reaching their ears. 

“Kill… me...please.”

***

Y/N stared in horror, grasping the handle of her makeshift knife. “Charlotte, go back to camp.” She ordered, hand shaking as she handed it over to Bellamy. 

“No, I want to help”

“Charlotte.” Y/N’s tone turned stern, a warning, “Now.” 

She heard the faint shuffling of footsteps behind her until the sound disappeared, loneliness surrounding the couple as the wind whistled faintly through the woods. 

Bellamy shook above the deteriorating delinquent, Y/N’s knife held firmly in his hands. 

He couldn’t do it. 

Y/N placed her hand on his, covering his hand to steady it before gingerly taking the knife back. 

“Okay, hey Atom” her tone grew sweet, plastering a fake smile on her face as she stared at the helpless kid, “I’m gonna help you okay?”

Atom’s head nodded slightly, the pain only allowing him to move so much. Her hand shook, vocal cords humming a long-forgotten song to ease the pain, the blade slicing through the layers of skin, causing Atom to bleed out, staining the greenery crimson.

She raised her eyes forward meeting the horrified stares of Clarke, Finn, and Wells,  pretending to be unaware of the intense gaze Bellamy was sending her way.

“Get Clarke whatever she needs,’ Bellamy called to his troops as they returned to camp, gaze flickering toward Y/N. She sat against the dropship, eyes blank as she stared out emotionless. 

She killed someone today.

She was a killer now.

Maybe she should’ve stayed on the Ark after all.

A familiar figure slid down next to her, Monty offering her a silver cup. “Miller told me what happened, thought you might want some of this.”

She flashed a tight smile before gulping down the wretched batch of moonshine, an empty numbness snaking its way through her body, “Thanks Monty, I needed that.”

She stared above at the sky, eyes trained on the bright orbiting station above them. “Did you know it was my birthday when we came down?” She spoke forwardly, catching the kid by surprise. “It was either death by earth or death by space. You can guess which one I chose.”

Monty pressed his hand on hers, the contact barely registered as she swigged the rest of her moonshine. “You made the right choice.”

“No, I didn’t” She spoke hauntedly, “I should’ve floated myself.”

That night against the dropship, alcohol rewiring her brain, Y/N drifted away, and for the first time in eighteen years, a new terror joined the rest.

Yikes. So Y/N suffers from this thing known as depression and survivor’s guilt. As we all know there is no easy fix, this will be a constant throughout the series. I’ll put it in the warnings as we go forward.

If this isn’t something you’re comfortable with I won’t be offended if you stop reading, I promise.

Please like, comment, and reblog!

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[pretend-writer]

Down Below (Chapter 53)

Summary: Y/N Reyes lands on Earth with the rest of the 99 prisoners. Being one of the first people to come back “home” after 97 years of living in space, she learns what it’s like to finally live in this planet.

Pairing: Bellamy Blake x reader, Raven Reyes x sister!reader

Word Count: 1847 words

Warning: swearing, violence

Down Below Masterlist

✤  ·  ✤  ·  ✤  ·  ✤  ·  ✤

With Bellamy in the passenger seat and Clarke driving the rover, Emori, John and I sat in the back silently. I could tell that Bellamy was worried the way he would look back a couple of times to check on me and John.

‘I hope we can get there quick enough.’ Clarke broke the silence. 'We’re no way near Becca’s lab and the radiation is getting worse.’

'Clarke, just drive… please.’ I muttered. 'It doesn’t help when you tell us we are possibly going to die, which we already knew.’

'Stop being so rude.’ Emori jumped in to defend her.

Turning my head, I glared at her. 'Stay out of our business.’

'If you stayed in your business, we wouldn’t have to be in this mess in the first place.’ Emori snickered. 'We were all safe until the bunker opened.’

'If saving my sister is such a big mess, why the fuck did you come? No one invited you.’

'I’m only helping to be nice.’ Emori replied. 'Because of you, Skaikru has to die. Now more than 300 people are going to be killed and it’s your fa-’

'It was me.’ Murphy interrupted Emori, 'I’m the one that helped Y/N and Bellamy out of their handcuffs.’

Bellamy’s head turned toward the back of the rover, 'Murphy, shut it.’

'You’re going to tell me to shut it when I’m trying to defend Y/N? I don’t want her to be blamed for what I did.’

Emori looked at John sadly, 'W-why did you do that? I thought we talked about not wanting the bunker opened because we’d probably be kicked out.’

I watched in silent, uncomfortable that I was in this small rover while an argument was going to happen all because of me. It didn’t help that I was so stressed about saving my sister.

'Other people didn’t deserve to die because of our selfish reasons.’ John said, 'I-I had to do it.’

'You didn’t have to do it, you chose to do it. Now I can possibly lose my spot in the bunker, John.’ Her voice got louder.

'Emori, you really wouldn’t care if people died when we could’ve done something about it?’ John yelled.

'The only reason why you cared was because it was someone Reyes loved.’ Bellamy accused, 'You wouldn’t have gave a shit if it was anyone else outside that bunker.’

John stomped his foot, 'Stay the hell out Bellamy.’

Emori immediately got up and came on my side of the rover to grab the collar of the suit, 'So you’re the reason I might die?’

Smirking, I swiped her arm away. 'If it makes you feel better, sure.’

She shook her head, 'You get on my fucking nerves, you know that?’

'You think I care? I probably get on a lot of people’s nerves.’

As Emori stuck her fist out and swung her arm back to get ready to punch me, John grabbed her. 'Stop, this is nonsense.’

'Are you really on her side?’ Emori screamed at her boyfriend.

Clarke said in a worried tone. 'Guys stop fighting. We have more things to stress about.’

'Unlike you guys, I have nothing to lose.’ Emori jumped on me hard enough for the back door to open, flying us outside the rover and onto the ground.

As we both hit the ground hard, we rolled around while Emori continued to choke me. 'You bitch.’

I kicked her stomach, causing her to get off of me and wince in pain. As I quickly got up, I shoved her to the ground. 'I did nothing to you and you’re getting upset at me for what? Jealousy?’

Bellamy rushed off the parked rover and grabbed me tightly, pulling me away from Emori. 'Y/N, don’t.’

'She pushed me off the rover. She could’ve killed me.’

His facial expression changed as he stared at me. I was confused at the way Bellamy looked at me in shock, 'R-Reyes. Your helmet is cracked.’

The moment with Emori was so intense, I didn’t realize there was anything wrong with my helmet until Bellamy mentioned it.

'Hurry, she needs a new helmet.’ Clarke gasped as she ran to the back of the rover, getting the suit that we packed for Raven.

As she handed me the helmet, she smiled. 'Once we get there we can figure out how to get Raven a new suit. Until then, use this.’

Taking my helmet off, I accepted Clarke's kindness. Even with all the disagreements, I couldn’t be a dick about the situation right now. 'Thanks.’

'Damn it, Emori has a rip on her suit. I’m going to get her the one in the rover.’ John sighed as he walked away.

'Great, now we wasted a good suit.’ Bellamy said.

John glared at Bellamy, 'Well excuse me, it’s not like anyone is using it right now. What’s the problem?’

'The problem is Emori just ruined a chance for Raven to come back to the bunker with us. We have no other extra suit.’ Bellamy yelled.

'Leave her out of this. You’re angry at me about Y/N, not her.’

'Damn right, I’m mad. I’m pissed at you, Murphy.’ He clenched his fist.

John grunted, 'Look. I’m sorry okay? I’m sorry that I care about Y/N. I can’t just switch that off.’

'It’s not about that.’ Bellamy shouted, giving Murphy a stern look. 'Do you still love her?’

Murphy gave a dirty look back at him, 'I-I’

Before he said anything else, John was interrupted when headlights shone on us. I squinted my eyes, trying to identify the people who were on the vehicle. As the engine was cut off, three people came out.

'What the hell is Echo doing here?’ Bellamy got sidetracked and went straight to Monty and Harper. 'Why is she wearing that suit?’

'She was banished and I couldn’t leave her out there to die.’ Monty said. 'I saved the suit for Jasper but uhm, he’s gone.’

'Echo was banished because she cheated at the conclave. She was going to kill my sister when she wasn’t even the warrior that was competing.’ Bellamy cursed. 'That should be Raven’s suit, not hers.’

'Guys wait… We don’t have to go back to the bunker.’ Clarke mumbled suddenly.

I furrowed my eyebrows, 'Uhm, I don’t know about you but I’m trying to survive here.’

'No, Raven mentioned about a ship she found at Becca’s lab. We can try to go to The Ring.’

'You’re saying we’re going to try to live up there, for 5 years?’ Emori commented.

Monty stepped up, 'That’ll actually work. There’s an algae farm up there as well as water reclamator. Boom, that’s already food and water.’

'For oxygen, all we have to do is hook up the oxygenator.’ Murphy joined, 'Sorry, I’ve been with Raven in the lab for so long, sort of know a little now.’

Clarke chuckled, 'Great. We have all the necessities we need. Looks like we’re going up.’

The sudden pain in my stomach made me groan loudly as I slowly kneeled to the ground. It was as if someone gutted my stomach, I couldn’t take it much longer. 

'Y/N? Y/N, what’s wrong?’ Bellamy sat next to me as he put his hand on my back, comforting me.

Blood then flooded out of my mouth unconsciously, causing me to take my helmet off quickly. Not being able to breathe properly from the radiation, I tried to stop myself from throwing up. 

'Why is her body reacting like this? We just changed her helmet.’ Bellamy said as he checked around my suit.

Harper quickly approached me, looking around my body to see if there’s anything that can connect to my sickness. 'There’s a rip right on her arm. I’m sure we can fix it with tape.’

'We don’t have tape.’ Monty shouted. 

'It’s fine guys, I’ll be okay. Let’s just get to Raven before we all die from Praimfaya.’ I mumbled.

Murphy smirked as he stormed towards Echo, 'I know what we can do. The banished Azgeda can give her your suit.’

'What are you talking about? Monty gave this to me.’ Echo said nervously.

'You weren’t supposed to be here to begin with. Hand over the suit.’ Bellamy joined.

Clarke stood in between Echo and them, 'She’s not giving you the suit.’

'Right, let’s get it from Emori since she’s the reason there’s a ripped suit in the first place.’ Bellamy bickered.

'Stop, we shouldn’t be arguing with each other.’ I croaked as my voice started to fade away from the pain. I put my helmet back on, hoping that it will slow down the sickness. 

Emori snickered, ‘Coming from you, that’s pathetic.’

'I know, it’s hypocritical to say now but it’s true. You guys have to work together if you’re going to all live at The Ring.’

'You’re? You mean “we”. We’re going up The Ring.’ Monty corrected me.

I shook my head, 'I’m not going. I can’t go.’

'You promised Raven you’ll go save her. You’re coming with us.’ Bellamy argued.

'Bellamy, I can’t. I’m already exposed to radiation and my suit is ripped. I don’t know how much time I have left.’ 

'No, you told me you’re not giving up. You said you’ll survive with me.’

Taking his hand, I grabbed it tightly. 'I’m taking the extra rover and driving it back to the bunker. Let’s face it, I wouldn’t be able to make it to the lab since we’re no where near it. You know I haven’t given up. I’m surviving, I just can’t survive with you by my side.’

'Well if you’re going to the bunker, I’m coming wi-’

'If I can’t go and save Raven, I need you to do it for me. I trust you to take care of my sister.’

He stared at me with teary eyes, '5 years apart? How am I going to do it? Raven isn’t the only person that needs you, you know.’

'I believe in you. You’re going to be okay. You got Clarke, Mont-’

'But they’re not you.’ Bellamy cried as he squeezed my hand. Even under the gloves, I felt his warmth. 'I need you.’

'Blake, I need you too but this is what I have to do to save all of us.’ I smiled with tears in my eyes, 'I’m not taking the suits from anyone else and I’m not dying today. We have to do this.’

He nodded and hugged me tightly. 'Take care of Octavia for me, okay?’

It was hard to say goodbye to Bellamy, especially because I was unable to kiss him one last time before we parted ways. 'You know I will.’

Bellamy pulled away from the hug and looked at me in my eyes. 'I love you, Y/N. I’ll wait for you for as long as I need to.’

I couldn’t help but laugh a little bit, 'Corny much?’

'Ah, let me be Reyes. You’re going to miss it and you know it.’ He chuckled.

'Yeah, I sure will.’ I smiled, 'And I love you too Bellamy. May we meet again.’

'We will. Of course we will.’

✤  ·  ✤  ·  ✤  ·  ✤  ·  ✤

tag list; @jodiereedus22, @coffeebooksandfandom, @bellamyblakemorley, @wisestydia-15, @dbtvluv , @hurricane–amelia , @lexalexy , @olkathefoxi, @lena-davina, @kellbell44, @thehakunamatara, @akelly4477, @morgannope, @littlegirl-fox, @captainam-erika-trash, @greygarbage, @nathaliabakes, @eternallyvenus, @rauwz, @broco8

[topazy]

Silent bloom

Pairing:Finn Collins/reader

Chapter: 1.02

The guilt was eating you up inside. You should have gone. Anybody with working brain cells knew that letting Monty and Jasper wander off on earth was a death wish waiting to happen. Octavia was almost killed by some kind of sea creature, and grounders had speared Jasper.

Monty was traumatised. Finn was now shuffling around you. He seemed nervous. Clarke and Bellamy were wasting time arguing about taking their wristbands off, and what was going to take place with the people on the ark. You didn’t want people to die, but you also didn’t care at that moment in time. Eventually, it all becomes too much for you.

"Cut it out!" You snapped standing up, earning a few surprised looks. "The only thing that matters right now is finding Jasper! Bellamy, stop moaning. You’re coming with us and that’s the end of it."

"Excuse me?" He asked, in a tone you imagine he thought was intimidating.

You walked closer to him. "You want to lead? Then they lead. You’re the only person here with a gun, and those kids out there won’t follow you unless you give them a reason to."

"She’s right." Clarke chimed in. "Because you want them to follow you and right now they're thinking only one of us is scared."

"Fine." He huffed.

"Good. Now let’s go." You walked towards the gate when you felt a familiar presence by your side. "Not now, Finn. I need to find Jasper. We can talk when I get back."

"Y/N?"

‘Y/N’, not Daisy or Daze.

You turned to face him, surprised at how close he was standing behind you. "Yes?"

"Be safe."

You just nodded before walking towards the gates again. You just prayed it wasn’t too late for Jasper.

—

"So how did you earn the nickname angel eyes?"

You rolled your eyes at the ridiculous question. "The only person who calls me that is you, Murphy."

You have decided to split off into groups to search for more ground faster. Finn went off with Clarke, while Bellamy trailed behind with Wells, leaving you with Murphy. You didn’t mind Murphy on a personal level. Sure, he was a little annoying at times, but the problem was he was absolutely useless at helping.

He grinned, "How did you get the scar?"

"Fist fight in a bar. You should have seen the other guy." He laughed at your terribly sarcastic answer. "I fell and cut it."

"Can you see clearly out of it?" He asked, standing closer to you.

"Yes, and I know what you are doing!" You snatched your wrist back laughing. Murphy just shrugged. He was trying to distract you so he could get close enough to take your wristband off. "I’m not giving it to you, so you and your little king can stop trying."

You jumped at the grunting noise coming from behind you. You turned to see Bellamy glaring at you. He didn’t look impressed with your comment.

"Did you hear that?" Wells asked. The four of you stopped walking and stood in silence until you heard it again. "It sounds like a moaning pain."

"Jasper!" You gasped before running in the direction of the noise. "He’s over here!"

"Y/N wait!"

You didn’t listen to what Wells was shouting and stepped forward, launching into a pit. You grabbed onto the long grass and vines to stop yourself from landing on the spears below. Bellamy was the first one to arrive. "Help me up!" You screamed as he looked at you with no emotion.

"Y/N? Bellamy pull her up!" Finn yelled as he grabbed hold of your arm, before Clarke and Murphy helped him drag you up.

You landed on top of Finn before quickly rolling off him. You lay panting on the ground while glaring at Bellamy. "What the fuck was that about?! You almost got me killed!"

Clarke shook her head and stepped forward before Bellamy could reply. "This isn’t going to help. The grounders are setting traps to catch us. We all need to be more careful."

"Whatever." You huffed, standing up, brushing the grass off your body. "I’m going to get him down. Who’s helping?"

Murphy and Finn both helped you cut Jasper down, while Bellamy stood by and did nothing, again.

"What was that?" You heard Clarke ask, as a growling noise got closer. A large animal appeared and leaped towards them. "Shot it!"

You watched Bellamy fumble at his sides, looking for his gun before you heard the shots. Wells shot the creature right before it reached them.

Bellamy looked at him in disbelief. "Now she sees you."

—

When you arrived back at the camp, you, Finn, and Wells rushed Jasper into the drop-ship so Clarke could start treating him. While Bellamy and Murphy brought the large cat in with them, earning cheers and praise from the other delinquents.

"Are you okay?" Clarke asked, pointing towards your wrist. You hadn’t realized it was bleeding.

"I’m fine, thanks. I can clean it while you focus on Jasper." You smiled softly. The blonde wasn’t your favorite person, but at least she was trying.

Later that night, the camp celebrated being ‘liberated’ by the fire. You didn’t eat meat, so you didn’t feel the need to participate.

"Aren’t you hungry?" You turned to see a young girl sitting down next to you.

"I’m not hungry. Did you get plenty to eat though?" She nodded. "What is your name?"

"Charlotte, is your name Daze?" She asked curiously.

You let out a chuckle. "My name is Y/N, but you can call me Daze or Daisy. It’s what I usually go by."

Charlotte smiled at you, and the two of you began chatting about how beautiful the earth was, until you heard a commotion on the other side of the fire. You looked across to see Finn taking meat for him and Clarke. Obviously, he got one for her. She hadn’t seen Finn this smitten with someone apart from Raven.

Thinking about you had nobody on the ark, you didn’t care if they thought you were alive or dead. The only people you cared about were already on the ground. Your thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the young girl's stomach rumbling. You turned to Charlotte, "stay here, I’ll be back shortly."

You could feel multiple sets of eyes on you as you walked to the other side of the fire pit. Bellamy was glaring at you, while Finn and Clarke watched you with confused expressions.

"Hey, John?" You said, stepping towards Murphy, who frowned at being called his first name.

"What?"

You held your wrist up, "fancy freeing me?"

You both shared a smirk as Murphy twiddled his knife as he walked towards you, amused. "Anything for angel eyes."

You felt the smooth coldness of the blade between your skin and the bracelet. It nipped for a second before holding it in front of you proudly. Taking it from him, you tossed it into the fire before accepting a stick of meat.

"What did you just do?" Clarke asked, walking up behind you. "You know that the ark..."

You sighed, stopping in your place. "Clarke, no offence, but I don’t want to hear about how defenseless the ark is right now."

As you tried to walk away, Finn stepped in front of you, "You’re vegetarian."

"Yes, I am aware of that. Now if you don’t mind, can you move out of my way?" You said calmly, trying not to show how irritated you had become.

"Then tell me, why did you take it off?" Finn demanded, ignoring what you had said previously.

"Some of us don’t want to get punched in the face," you answered, glancing at Bellamy, who was watching the interaction between you, Finn, and Clarke. "Plus, it was hurting my cut wrist."

Finn still didn’t move. You walked around him and back towards Charlotte. You gave the stick of food to the young girl who reluctantly accepted it.

Season one

[delicatebluebirdruins]

The Hunger Games: Mockingjay

The Hunger Games; Catching Fire

Part One

- “I try to work out what is true and what is false”

- “I’m still not entirely convinced that I was hallucinating... the floor turning into a carpet of writhing snakes”.... nope

-- So many good quotes in this first chapter alone

- “Some walks you have to take alone”

-- I wonder who were the other Capitol rebels

-- Kat’s reaction to seeing Peeta on the screen breaks my heart

-- Poor Peeta

-- I love the imagery when Katniss says she’s going to be the Mockingjay, with her arms slightly raised as if she had wings

- Kat about the pearl holding it to her lips “It’s soothing a cool kiss from the giver himself” --- “a token it will make until I come home to you”

-- I love Katniss and Prim talking together

- Coin: want to present Gale as your new lover? Me: oi shut it

-- I always love Cinna’s sketchbook

-- I love the prep team’s interactions with Katniss... what happened to them after the series ended

- the prep team where punished because Octavia took a slice of bread

- Mrs Everdeen reading the pain on a person’s body

- I want a story about Greasy Sae

- Precious Posy... I want a story about Gale and his family like what happened to them all

- I am mad that the hummingbird room was cut in the film

- I love the bow Beetee designed for Katniss (I wonder what happened to it)

- Finnicks line being give to Effie kind of annoys me

- aww Katniss

- I love this scene for so many reasons but especially when the berries are mentioned and how they affected the different people

- I love Finnick so much

-- a big regret of mine was not being able to ask a teacher about why they were so shocked that Rue was cast as black... I was fifteen at the time  It doesn’t excuse me being quiet

But I was also a coward. I wasn’t even able to tell a teacher about the time a girl dry humped my head, I dropped something on the floor because she and her friends kept staring at me and laughing and I couldn’t look at them any longer so I had to duck down and when I did she got up and came over and I froze and well she grabbed my head and shoved her crotch onto the crown of my head whilst her friends laughed and the rest of class and teachers didn’t notice I have only told one person this story and that was last year

- Finnick Odair in his underwear

- I love Cressida and I want to know more about her

- I love the hospital scene for so many reasons

- Kat about the bombing: “I assumed, as usual, it was my presence that brought on punishment”

- I always love the fire is catching speech

- I love Katniss so much

- I wish we saw the tribute to the tributes videos

- I love Kat and Finnick having a meal together- though I still don’t understand why he wanted them to hide their knowledge of seeing Peeta

- I love Finnick and Kat “hunting” together

- The Hanging Tree: I never realised it was jabberjays in the “dead man called out to his love” and I hate the pop remix with a passion

- Katniss: “I could remember almost anything set to music after a round or two”

- Katniss speculating about the song is pretty spot on

- I dislike the kitchen kiss so much

- Peeta’s warning :(

Part 2

- I don’t know why but them in the bunker is a favourite scene of mine

- “I almost hiss at him too” it was crime they didn’t have JLaw hissing at Buttercup in the film

- First Peeta hijacking ref: “waging a sort of battle in his mind”

- and more chats with Prim

- and chats with Finnick

- I love Buttercup

- Plutarch x coffee was amusing

- “Glance at Finnick who gives a thumbs up- But he’s looking pretty shaky himself” -- my poor babies

- my poor precious Finnick- I wonder whom among Snow’s friends got poisoned one I am certain he poisoned is Lysistrata

-- I wonder what was going through Gale’s head when he volunteered

- Katniss is so giddy to see Peeta and well you know

- Prim telling of Plutarch is *chefs kiss*

-- Poor Portia and all the other stylists and prep teams

- “I can’t say Gale’s absences have inconvenience me”

-- I love Delly

-- I hate District 2 kiss because of that article written in 2018

-- Wraps Finnick and Annie in blankets and glares at Gale

-- I love Gwendoline Christie in the MJ 2 behind the scenes

-- what could be worse than what Gale said about the workers in the Nut

- I just love Boggs

- District 2 speech is also great and she quoted Peeta!

- the capitol having emergency supplies stockpiled... Me: i bet they have

- Oh Finnick and Annie’s wedding :)... Katniss: “Finnick loves Annie and that’s good enough for me”

- Katniss seeing Peeta makes me sad

- Poor Johanna and of course I love Johanna

- I love Finnick and I want to hear more about the sea turtle which stole his hat... hey is there any fanart of that scene?

- everyone was creeped out by Peeta threatening to steal Annie away from Finnick

- “everything screams in my dreams tonight” this line always chills me

- gulps “your squadron leader gets hit by a mortar” mortal being a type of bomb

- I love the pine needle sachet that Katniss makes Johanna

Part Three

- I dislike Haymitch at times and this lecture of his is one of them

- I love Jackson for coming up with Real or Not Real

- I love Mitchell trying to act

-- Looks at Cressida with huge heart eyes

- the best brotp Finnick x Peeta

- “now this place tastes like the arena”

- I love Messalla’s moment about the centre unit

- Peeta with Pollux

- “Katnisss” Me: shit x3000

- “Snow can’t tolerate looking like a fool”

- everytime Finnick’s ***** gets me and I just love my boy

- “don’t let him take you from me”

- Tigris! is in Ballad fucking fight me on this

- “my face runs into a hanging chain and I pull it”... snorts

- Jagged sutures and smear on cream vs gently rinsing and bandaging

- “I know it happened and yet it doesn’t seem real” *whimpers*

- the guy who was mistaken for Peeta :|

- Tigris and the can of salmon

- all the next events are a lotTM

- and then Prim and the medics died

-- did you know there are people who were angry at Katniss for not showing emotion after Prim died? No well there were and I don’t like them

- Snow: snake eyes again; about Prim: so wasteful

- Haymitch: “more boy trouble” Katniss: “I don’t know why, but this hurts me in a way Haymitch rarely can”-- Thoughts?

- what happened to Effie

- I still Katniss voted yes because she wanted Coin to think she was still on her side

- “Its all over when the Mockingjay sings”... “hour after hour of ballads, love songs and mountain airs”

- I love Greasy Sae

- I really want to know what was going through Peeta’s head when he decided to dig up evening primrose bushes

- “flakes of skin the size of playing cards” owie ouch ow ow nope

Bonus CF: I love Mags just wanting a nap

- poor Madge

- poor Buttercup and Katniss I just love them bonding

- growing back together is something I love... does anyone have good fic recs for growing back together?

- I love the description for toast babies so much

-- “I make a list of every act of goodness I’ve seen someone do” I remember I had a very bad day and I was reading this scene and was looking at this blank notebook I had and thought why not and just have this small notebook with a few different stories of kindness in it and things I drew a picture of the blue mockingjay on it and a dandelion

- “Much worse games to play” It took me awhile to understand what this meant and I understand now

. 

.

It was kind of a ride rereading this series again especially after Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes and you know what I still love this series and these characters

I don’t see Lucy Gray turning into Coin but I do see them as being related

[alltheworldsinmyhead]

MAKE MY MESSES MATTER (MAKE MY CHAOS COUNT)

THE 100 / BELLARKE/ CANON DIVERGENCE SINCE S2 FINALE

AO3

{First letters come when frost finally lets go of the river. / a.k.a. clarke leaves to heal herself; it doesn't mean she abandons anyone }

This fic is dedicated to the best reviewer, best beta and best friend in the entire world - Lana, darling, I don't deserve you <3 <3.

**********************************************************************

I‘ll see you in the future when we’re older

And we are full of stories to be told

Cross my heart and hope to die

I’ll see you with your laughter lines

- Laughter Lines, Bastille

I.

First letters come when frost finally lets go of the river.

It’s not spring yet, and Echo told him not to let anyone get their hopes too high-  weather is unpredictable and cold can come back quickly and violently, but – fuck, winter was so hard and now there are flowers blooming in-between ponds of mud and still-remaining snow. People are laughing again, letting yellow light of spring sun kiss their pale, frostbitten faces and Bellamy slowly, very slowly lets himself take a breath. It feels as if he was holding it ever since first snows hit them, when they were so epically unprepared and if it wasn’t for Lincoln, they’d probably all be dead by Winter Solstice (what an irony- Bellamy thinks sometimes, looking at Lincoln wrestling with kids, helping Abby, kissing Octavia- what an irony indeed).

And even with Lincoln, there was nothing easy about those last few months and Bellamy’s hands are calloused and rough from digging too many graves in the frozen ground. And then flu hit them and there were too many bodies to bury, so they burned them instead. He can still almost smell it; this strangely sweet smoke smelling like meat, which was making their empty stomachs growl, which in turn would make them sick.

There was nothing easy from the beginning till the end and the hardest part was that there was a huge hole with jagged edges where Clarke was supposed to be and where she wasn’t, his ‘together’ haunting his dreams and hers ‘you won’t be by yourself’ mocking him over and over again.

But now spring is finally truly coming, days become longer and he manages to sleep more than an hour or two during most nights, so he decides to focus on positives.

Letters come when Bellamy’s on a hunting trip deep in the forests; they are waiting for him in Arkadia along with Echo. She was a frequent visitor during the winter; serving as their link to the situation between clans, telling them all about Lexa’s trial, about the fall of the treaty, about wars coming and ending and beginning ( because all this world is war, war and war, constantly. Never stopping, not even to take a breath). The only thing she wasn’t telling them about is, well.  

Clarke.

Bellamy knows Echo knows where Clarke is. Or at least, has a general idea. She slipped it, once or twice, mentioning some ‘Wanheda’ in a tone living legends are spoken about, but the person she described didn’t seem like his Clarke at all. His Clarke was soft eyes and steel turned skin and blood under her fingernails because she was saving somebody, not because she strangled someone with them. His Clarke was hummed lullabies and her father’s worn-out watch and grace with every movement…  but his Clarke is gone and he doesn’t know if she’s ever coming back and hearing about new Clarke is too painful, so he’d rather not know anything at all.

Echo is sitting in front of his cabin, eyes closed, facing the sun and well, it turns out that not only Sky People are done with winter. She greets him with a simple nod and tells him that she has something for him. He expects everything, but a small package haphazardly wrapped in some kind of green cloth, smooth under his fingers and tied with a piece of string.

“This went through a long journey”- Echo informs while handing him the bundle. “One of the traveling clans from North brought it to my village, asking if anyone still keeps any kind of contact with Sky People. They really didn’t want to bring it in here themselves. “

Echo draws abstract lines on the fabric of her pants with her index finger, looking down and apparently thinking how to tell him something, while Bellamy fights with an urge to smile grimly. Apart from Echo and Lincoln, they haven’t spotted a single Grounder during winter. Not that Bellamy complained about it- they certainly had enough trouble even without them- but he had found it strange, until he realized that the legend of Clarke is not only a legend of Clarke but also the  legend of Sky People- Those Who Burn, he heard Echo saying one time, Those Who Burn everything standing in their way.

(what an irony)

“Just- just open it.”- says Echo eventually, raising her head to look into his eyes. “ And if you want to send anything back, let me know.”

She waves to him goodbye before he can get a chance to say anything and turns around quickly, her boots making soft, cracking noises on wet snow and mud. He is left standing in front of the hut with the package still in his hands, frozen in time and space, a good few minutes before he manages to move again.

He leaves the bundle by the doors and just - goes. To do things that don’t really need to be done, supervise people who are doing just fine without him hovering, piss off O ( ‘’What the fuck is wrong with you, Bell’’ ) and have yet another unnecessary shouting match with Abby before he’s able to come back and dare to unwrap it.

The string lets go easily, the cloth parts and Bellamy can see pile of – paper? Is it really paper?- few dried flowers, which slip from his knees and land on the ground and a greenish, nice smelling thing, which appears to be some kind of bark.

Half of the sheets of paper- which is also gray-green and there are tiny plant veins visible on their surface – turn out to be empty. The other half is full of words- words spilling on the margins, words on words, words chaotic and wild and crazy and-

II.

Dear Bellamy,

It’s been twenty –two days and I think I’m losing my mind. I bumped into a Grounder hunting party today; they just dropped their weapons and things and ran away from me, so I took their things I guess I’m a thief now, why not, actually so they had this paper and a pen, it must be from before the Apocalypse and it still works, can you believe? And I started to write this, I heard people used to write letters to their loved ones when they were away-

Dear Bellamy,

It’s been thirty –seven days, I wonder how Monty’s doing, how you are doing, how are you all doing, it’s so cold, I fell asleep on a tree branch and now I can’t feel my fingers, it hurts, Bellamy, it hurts to even-

Dear Bellamy,

It’s been fifty days, I found a bark which works miracles on frostbites you should give it to my mother or Lincoln, or I should’ve given it to them, but I’m not with you, I’m alone here, I think I’ve lost my mind-

Dear Bellamy,

It’s been exactly fifty-eight days-

I miss you

I miss you

I miss you

I miss you

Dear Bellamy,

I’m haunted by myself.

III.

First, she catches a terrible cold. Then she slips on a thin layer of ice while hunting and injures her head and she doesn’t even remember how she manages to crawl into the cave she has been living in for some time and collapse on the fur. Her head is spinning, burning red and she sees Wells and Finn and her dad and Bellamy-

“Are you dead?”- she asks, confused and then he looks at her and she sees his body drained out blood, his eyes desperate, his hands stretched out, reaching for her:

“You told me to go.”- he says and his voice makes her shiver.” You told me to go and I went, was it worth it?”

Was it worth it was it worth it was it worth it Clarke was it worth it tell us Clarke tell us weren’t we worth it was it worth us – dead men of her life repeat and repeat and Clarke screams and screams and screams until her voice dies out and she drifts into a blackness and there’s nothing and nobody around her anymore.

IV.

Dear Bellamy,

I’m on the coast now, in Luna’s clan village. Their language is like a song on a wind; you’d love it. Luna sends her love to Lincoln. I had- rough time during winter, you can probably tell from the other letters. But those people helped me and –

Bell, they don’t seem to be afraid of me. I don’t remember them being involved in Mount Weather war, but they must’ve heard of it, heard of me. Still, nobody here treats me like other Grounders. Travelers stopped in a village and they agreed to bring my letters to Camp Jaha, even if they didn’t seem completely comfortable with it. I hope you’ll get it. It’s not much –and I don’t expect to get anything back – but that’s the best I can do now.

I just want you to know I think about you every day. All the time. And I’m so, so sorry, Bell.

Out of all the terrible things I’ve done, I’m most sorry for the ones I did to you.

I miss you,

Clarke

V.

“She doesn’t get to do this shit!”

Octavia’s all flaming anger, standing in the middle of his hut and waving her hands.

“Not after she left.  She left us, she left you; she doesn’t get to write you things like that!’’

But Bellamy’s angry too, anger to match Octavia’s, slowly burning his insides.

“Who the fuck allowed you to read it? How do you even know I get this, huh? You’re going through my stuff now, O?”

“Yes, because apparently you’re not capable of making rational decisions like burning this shit without reading! You’re probably already writing her a reply, aren’t you?”  

“It’s not your damn business, Octavia!”

They circle each other like wild dogs thrown into the pit, ready to fight with their fangs and claws. Octavia’s still holding Clarke’s letters and she throws them into his face, bares her teeth and fucking hisses.

“You know it’s all her fault. Everything that went wrong, is because of her. She killed all those people- TonDC, Month Weather, it was all her. “

Bellamy sees red and he could never, ever hurt his sister, but he feels his hands fisting, muscles clenching, bloodthirst swallowing him whole and he’s just so angry.

“I killed all those people along with her, Octavia.” – he says lowly, breath heavy and head low, facing her like a charging bull. “If Clarke’s a murderer, then so am I.”

“Because she made you this way!”- Octavia shouts so loudly, that her voice breaks in half and his fists drop to his sides and he just looks at her. He feels his lungs collapsing, his heart-stopping, entire freaking world freezing for a moment.

His sister is shivering like a leaf on a wind, hands outstretched towards him and shining eyes.

“She sent you away.-“ she whispers, stuttering like a little child and then she turns around so he won’t see her crying. “She sent you away and you went for her and I could- I thought I- I could lose you.”

Her shoulders are shaking and she wraps her arms around herself, sobbing and Bellamy’s standing still, hearing white noise in his ears and suddenly coming back to the times, when Octavia had bangs and curious eyes and clean hands and he was her only lifeline, the only thing connecting her with the whole wide world bigger than two chairs, two bunk beds and endless darkness under the floor.

“Octavia..”- he wants it to sounds like an apology, but instead it comes out like a plea.

Understand. Please. I can only forgive myself, if Clarke’s forgiven too.  

He hesitantly takes two steps and raises one hand to touch her back, to comfort her, but something stops him halfway. His hand’s frozen in its track, frozen in the air, hanging between him and Octavia like a blown-up bridge between two worlds which will never be connected anymore.

She hiccups, wipes the tears with the palm of her hand and turns around. Her braids are coming undone and the dark make-up around her red eyes is smudged, but she stands straight, with chin up high and says, clearly and calmly:

“She doesn’t deserve you.”

O marches out of the hut and he doesn’t stop her.

Instead, he kneels down to pick up the letters and puts them in order.

And then he takes the pen he asked Lincoln to bring him from the last trade and presses the tip of it to the clean sheet of paper.

Dear Clarke,

Winter was fucking awful and spring’s not much better, but at least it’s warmer now.

VI.

Clarke decides she likes the ocean most.

It’s big and wide and endless; silver-gray waves with white manes,  cool sand under her bare feet, wild wind and the smell of salt, smoked fish and crown made of finger-cutting sharp seagrass -  it’s everything she dreamed it would be, long, long time ago, and so much more and nothing less.

She wasn’t planning to stay, truth to be told. For the first few weeks she was constantly waiting for this sharp tug of ache inside just go, just go, far and far and never come back but it never came and Luna’s people are more gentle and kinder than anyone who she has ever met and they’re the only ones who seem not to be afraid of her. So she stays.

She patches up hunters and delivers children along with the old, nearly blind healer; she kisses scraped knees of kids and learns how to knot fishing nets and breathes in, breathes out, washes her face in icy, salty water.

One time,  girl from the village brings her charcoals and she spends hours on playing with them, morbidly fascinated with how different they feel, when her hands are no longer soft and white, but callused and cut and scarred and short on one finger and red, so, so red.

Clarke draws sea and people and a little, chubby boy chewing his fist and before she can even notice, she draws constellations of freckles and messy hair and soft, sad eyes; brown ponytails and sharp elbows and braids; goggles and gentle smiles and she wants to weep, she misses them all so much.

She wonders about her package, she wonders if it ever reached Bellamy, she wonders if it even matters at all.

She –well, she’s healing. But she’s still aching, something is still tearing her apart from the inside and she still can’t seem to let go of so many things, so she can’t go back.

She hasn’t had any hallucinations ever since she’s been around humans again, but her nightmares still have brown eyes and are holding a little football ball in their clawed hands.

VII.

“Bellamy, Bellamy tell us a story!”

Bellamy stares at the fire as kids are chirping loudly in his ears; he keeps his hands on his knees, palms out, fingers outstretched as if he was holding something.

“Once upon a time, there was a princess-”

“Clarke! Clarke!”

“Okay, okay!” – she laughs, with her head thrown back, but her eyes sad when she says-

“Once upon a time, there was a rebel – “

“-turned queen-“

Octavia’s bright eyes, narrowed lips, sharp pain in his chest.

“-turned king.”

Flames dancing on a pile of sea wood, her voice full of nostalgia.

VIII.

By the next spring, Clarke has a baby inside of her.

She doesn’t know whose it is; she doesn’t really want to know, to be honest. There were few,  men, women, nothing to grow attached to, just a tension relief, fuck and forget. She needs to get rid of it, but she spends too much time thinking about what she needs and what she wants and about Ark and Octavia Blake and then she can feel it move and everything in her screams mine mine mine.

So she lets it stay.

She lets it grow.

She lets herself grow bigger; soon enough her spine starts to hurt like a bitch and her eyes water when she sees little kids, little birds, little dogs and apparently every single damn little thing in the world. Her feet swell and her breasts ache and she suddenly craves wild mushrooms and tuna and apples.

She goes through twenty- hours- long labor, clutching Lila’s hand all through it and crying for her mom and Bellamy, delirious with pain, sweat and tears and blood and then-

A pair of very brown eyes,  strangely calm; a cloud of delicate blonde hair.  They look at each other and it’s like the world stops turning and for a moment there are just Clarke and this tiny alien thing covered in her blood,  small starfishes of her hands fisted, small feet kicking the air.

Clarke’s daughter has long lashes, pink, wrinkled skin and a nose like a tiny button and Clarke can’t stop looking at her, won’t stop looking at her. She feels some kind of –oblivion. Everything that was messed up before, everything she couldn’t deal with, now perfectly in order and she can’t remember being in such peace ever in her entire life.

IX.

Dear Bellamy,

Her name is Julia.

Bellamy clenches the paper in his hand, head thrown back and just- breathes out.

X.

When Julia’s eight months old, Clarke slowly starts packing.

It’s unintentional, at first; cleaning her hut, throwing some things away or giving them as a gift to those who needed it more than her anyway, packing the rest in sacks, trading with travelers for material for a travelling carrier for an infant– she does all those things before even realizing what she’s doing, until one day Aidan walks on her while she’s asking Rhea where she could get a horse, or maybe even two and how can she pay for them.

“So you’re really leaving, huh?”- he doesn’t sound accusing, but a bit sad and like he has been expecting it for some time now.

And Clarke… Clarke takes a deep breath and nods.

Dear Bellamy,

It’s been three years now. I think it’s time to go home. Would you like to meet my daughter?

The reply comes fast as the wind,  two lines written on a piece of paper apparently torn from the bigger one, letter bold and honest.

Dear Clarke,

Can’t wait.

XI.

They leave at dawn, moon and stars still visible on the golden-pink sky, Julia napping in her sling. Luna hugs her tightly and then Lila and Mara and Devon and Rhea and then the whole village kissing her cheeks and touching her hair and saying thank you and Clarke has such a lump in her throat that she can barely breathe, because she’s the one that owes them everything she has now.

Aiden helps her up on the saddle and pats her thigh.

“You’re always welcomed here, you two. And I have a feeling we’ll see each other again.”- he winks, a wide grin spread on her face and she suddenly remembers why she even let this man, those people, get closer to her in the first place. “Also, I want to meet this man of yours and remind him how lucky he is. Being loved by a woman like you, Clarke- tragedy, but what a privilege at the same time.”

And to that, she can only blush.

XII.

She comes back at sunrise;  appears like a ghost from between trees on the white horse,  baby strapped to her chest, sacks hanging from both sides of her saddle.

He abandons his post near the gate and runs and runs and runs and she jumps off the horse and runs too,  but when they’re ten feet apart from each other, they slow down.

It’s been three years -

( but when Bellamy looks at her beaming, all golden hair and blue eyes and pink-cheeked baby glancing at him curiously half-hiding his face in the crook of her neck,  he feels like not a day has passed since dropship)

“Hi.”- she says, breathless,  taking one tiny step closer.

“Hello.”- he responds, taking another.

She looks him in the eyes, smiling, and she has damn laughter lines on her face. God, he wants nothing else but to spend the rest of his life giving her more. He raises his hand and traces them delicately and she shivers under his touch, leaning into his hand.

“Bell.”-   her voice is hoarse with emotions and low, just above a whisper. “ I  missed you, Bell.”

Sun is setting, casting reds and goldens on her hair as he wraps his arms around her and her daughter and she presses her face to his shoulder and the forest is so wonderfully, wonderfully green.

And in this one moment, they are everything and nothing and Bellamy knows there are storms in the future and broken hearts and bloody hands; but right now, when he can feel her lips on his skin and her baby’s little hand fisting his shirt,  all they are is right and real and exactly, where they are supposed to be.

[storywool]

For Good Measure

Request:  Hi! I saw the prompt list you reblogged and was hoping I could request something! Using number 9 and number 2 with Bellamy.

2: “Stop screaming! It’s just a twisted ankle.” 

9: “You cannot die! I won’t let it happen!” 

Word count: 2,121

A brushing of the hand, a stolen glance, a lingering touch. The mutual pining was delicious and excruciating. It was the drug of choice of two oblivious dumbasses that couldn’t see how into each other they were. It was obvious to everyone but them, which is why Clarke and Octavia orchestrated a supply run that only two people needed to go on, and Clarke and Octavia were entirely too busy to do it themselves. They needed Y/n and Bellamy, the ultimate power couple if they would just open their eyes and see how into each other they are, to do it- a scheme to get them together.

Y/n and Bellamy had been friends since they met on the ground and became leaders of the group with Clarke. They were also a great team on supply runs and hunting trips because it was like they knew the other’s next step before they even moved. Watching Y/n and Bellamy work together was like watching a choreographed dance- fluid and in sync, even if it was a little chaotic.

They set out on their mission, walking through the forest in quiet complacency. The warm sun beamed down on Y/n’s face through the forest trees as she walked the trodden path. She turned her face toward it, absorbing the sun’s delicious rays. She moaned in contentment. Bellamy turned to her and he smiled to himself. This was a rare, pure moment.

Y/n felt Bellamy watching her and when she looked at him, he seemed mesmerized. “Why are you staring at me?” She asked. He blushed and bashfully turned away.

“I wasn’t staring…” He mumbled. Y/n giggled, which made Bellamy blush even harder. Y/n felt the butterflies flutter in her stomach.

“I’m nice to look at, it’s okay.” She dramatically flipped her hair over her shoulder, and Bellamy rolled his eyes.

“Especially when you smile…it’s pretty contagious.” She smiled again and Bellamy was over-washed with warmth he’d never experienced before.

He could have stared at her for hours, like a piece of fine art in a museum. He’d pay money just to see her smile like that again. He hated to see her smile fall and her eyes fill with worry at the sound of a twig snapping close by.

Y/n spun in the direction of the noise, hoping to find a deer, but instead, found a large mountain lion mere inches away from them. The lion crawled low and slow like a predator trying to catch its prey. Y/n felt a yelp of fear threaten to escape, but she dared not make a noise.

They both began stepping back slowly, hoping to put some space between them and the vicious cat looking for a good meal. With every step back, the cat stepped forward like a pre-meal waltz.

Without warning, the mountain lion pounced. Y/n and Bellamy instinctively turned and ran, heading up the path, searching for a solution to their predicament. They didn’t make it very far. Bellamy tripped in a hole that blended in all too well with the forest ground. The mountain lion took advantage, jumping on Bellamy. It tore at his face and Y/n feared the worst.

She grabbed her weapon- a small handgun that she only knew how to use because Bellamy taught her- and aimed it at the lion’s head. Her hands shook, afraid she’d miss her mark. But Bellamy was in trouble and she had to help. She took a deep breath and a leap of faith and squeezed the trigger with fierce determination. The first bullet hit the lion’s shoulder, but she made damn sure the second one didn’t miss. It landed right between the lion’s eyes, incapacitating it with a nasty spray of blood.

Y/n holstered her weapon and ran to Bellamy in a panic. There was blood everywhere, and she wasn’t sure which was the lion’s and which was Bellamy’s. “Oh my god, Bellamy, are you okay?” She began screaming and rambling, making a mountain out of his molehill of a wound.

Bellamy practically pushed the lion and Y/n off him, sitting up to examine the damage.

“You cannot die! I won’t let that happen!” Y/n cried.

Bellamy could barely think over Y/n’s cries. All he knew was he was very close to having his face clawed off but he somehow only hurt his foot. “Y/n, stop screaming! It’s just a twisted ankle!” He yelled She instantly stopped, looking into Bellamy’s eyes before moving to his very obviously twisted ankle.

“Y-you’re not scratched or bitten or anything?”

Bellamy took her trembling hands in his. “No, Y/n. You acted just in time. You saved my life.”

Y/n stared at him with tear-stained eyes. She was so worried that she wasn’t going to be able to save him, that she’d fail him just like she failed everyone else. As if he could read her thoughts, he placed a hand on her cheek and rubbed the skin softly. “Y/n, you did good. Thank you.”

She leaned into his touch absentmindedly and Bellamy wished for a moment that they could just stay like that forever. They couldn’t though. They had a dead mountain lion and a twisted ankle to take care of. The supplies they originally set out for were going to have to wait.

“Sorry I freaked out.” Y/n apologized once her nerves finally calmed down. “I’m still so new to all of this.”

“Don’t apologize, Y/n. It’s honestly kind of cute how worried you were.”

Y/n felt her face turn a deeper red than it already was, not expecting the compliment. How was he so good at turning her into a nervous, blushing, stammering mess?

“Oh, you don’t mean that.” She denied, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear like it was a nervous habit. Bellamy wanted so badly to kiss her in that moment, but he didn’t want to fluster her anymore than he already had.

He did, however, feel the need to correct her. “I actually do mean it. You’re really cute all the time, but especially right now.”

She looked at him, really looked at him, at the sincere look on his face, and couldn’t help but smile and giggle. This boy was being completely serious. Bellamy smiled too, in a way he rarely did. It made the corners of his eyes crinkle and little laugh lines form around his mouth. Y/n wished she could photograph that smile, or at least experience it more often.

But Bellamy was injured and if they could get the mountain lion back to camp, they had dinner for the camp. Y/n reached into her bag to get something to wrap his ankle up in. “We need to get this lion back to camp. That’s enough meat for everyone…and then some.” Bellamy said as she worked on his ankle.

“Well, unless you somehow expect me to get you and the dead meat back, it’s gonna have to stay.” She replied.

“No, I can walk.”

“Like hell you can.”

“Help me find a big stick. I can use it as a crutch so I can walk and help carry Simba over there.” He joked, throwing in an unnecessarily hot wink for good measure. Y/n knew this plan was not the best, that Bellamy might hurt himself even more, but it was the only plan that was going to make sure this trip wasn’t a complete waste. She huffed, but stood up anyways to search for a stick or branch that he could use. She found one that was just tall enough and fashioned a cushion on one end with Bellamy’s mountain-lion-bloodstained jacket and some rope so he could put it under his arm like a real crutch. It wasn’t great, but it was going to get the job done.

Y/n helped him stand up slowly, allowing him to use her as support as he got used to his situation. “This is gonna suck, you know that right?” She asked, half cheekily and half worriedly.

He rolled his eyes, but smiled still, “Help me get Simba.”

“Mufasa would actually be more accurate.” She said, moving to one end of the cat.

Bellamy groaned, which turned into a laugh, “No, that’s so sad!”

They bantered back and forth the rest of the trip, somehow managing to carry the heavy lion with them. It was particularly difficult, not because of Bellamy’s ankle, but because Y/n was so much shorter than he was. It was like a 6’0” person carrying a couch with the assistance of a much shorter companion. Oh, and the tall one’s arm is incapacitated and they walk with a limp.

So it was difficult.

They made it though, if only by sheer determination. Every muscle in Y/n’s body screamed when they finally reached the camp. Bellamy’s ankle was so bruised and swollen he honestly worried if he’d walk normal again.

While the rest of the delinquents feasted on the delicious meat, Y/n decided to pay Bellamy a visit, who was resting in the dropship with his foot cushioned and an emergency ice pack wrapped around it. They found some painkillers for him, too, which helped a lot.

The cute girl carrying in two plates of food that just walked in definitely helped too.

Bellamy sat up from his position when she entered, shifting to make room on the cot with him. She didn’t sit though, afraid she might hurt him. “I brought you some of our hard earned dinner.” She handed him one of the plates and Bellamy graciously accepted. He was starving.

“Thanks, that’s really nice of you. You can sit if you want.” He gestured to the spot, hoping she’d stay. Thankfully she did, sitting down on the edge of the cot before turning to face him.

“How are you feeling?” She asked before taking a bite of food.

“Much better now that I’ve got some good food and good company.” He smiled at her through his own bite of food.

Y/n didn’t want to make small talk, but she also didn’t want to talk about what he said in the woods just yet. What if he didn’t actually mean it? What if he was on an adrenaline high or something? What if he changed his mind?

“What are you thinking about?” He asked. He was very good at reading her body language, and could tell by the way she picked at her food and avoided eye contact that something was bothering her.

“It’s nothing…just something Clarke said earlier.” After they arrived back from their failed trip, Clarke revealed the real reason behind sending her with Bellamy- because everyone shipped them and they were obviously into each other. While Y/n could confirm those feelings for him, she wanted, no needed, to know if he felt the same way. Y/n finally made eye contact with him and the look on his face told her to continue. She took a deep breath before letting it roll out like word vomit, “She said they didn’t even need supplies, just wanted an excuse to get us alone. Apparently, there’s some people who think we’d be a cute couple and who wanted to take matters into their own ha-”

He laughed loudly, “why does that not surprise me?” Y/n wanted to laugh with him, but couldn’t. It definitely surprised her. She felt defeated in that moment, since he seemed to be unfazed by this. He didn’t seem nervous or anxious.

She was very nervous and anxious though. For whatever reason, Bellamy was very good at reading her emotions and knew that this was important to her to talk about.

“They’re not wrong, though.” He added, dropping his voice to a soft whisper, so only she heard it.

“What do you mean?” Y/n felt her heart start beating rapidly. Was he saying what she thought he was saying?

“That we’d make a cute couple.”

“Bellamy-” She started but wasn’t able to finish, for Bellamy finally closed the distance between them. He took her face between his hands and brought her into a head-spinning, world-stopping kiss. The kiss was like coming up for air out of the deep water of repressed emotion. All thoughts about the mountain lion or Bellamy’s ankle vanished. All Y/n could think about was the delicious feeling of Bellamy’s lips on hers and his hands on her body.

They finally pulled away when breathing became difficult. Y/n felt intoxicated almost, drunk off Bellamy’s taste. She hummed contently and slurred, “Was not expecting that.”

He laughed and kissed her again. “There. Another for good measure.” Y/n gave him peck after peck until she had her fill and cozied up to Bellamy on his little cot. She quickly drifted off to sleep, completely satisfied for the first time in a while.  

[spectrehqs]

congratulations ! welcome to spectrehqs ashcroft university. under the cut is a list of acceptances for all skeletons. thank you so much for applying & i’m so excited to start writing with you. please take a look at our checklist and send your account within the next twenty-four hours.

ANTONY: liam d’antona written by jason. 

in a sea of applications, there’s something special about one that really sucks you in the way yours did, i really got whisked away. starting with the end and beginning a mystery that would have me hooked for the entirety of your app. lush with detail, i would sometimes forget about the sheer mystery of liam’s acceptance at ashcroft until you drew me back to it. in the midst of laying the seeds of his secret, you painted a picture of a character colorful, interesting and romantic, rife with nods to classic literature and film. even the side characters of the story, his grandparents and father, felt real and alive. i literally wrote myself this note halfway through – “i’m completely on the edge of my seat about why he doesn’t want to get in? it’s killing me.” and then by the end, “I’M SCREAMING.” a natural progression, of course. i loved the juxtaposition of both sides of the page in his letters – his drunk letter vs. his sober letter, and his voice was so endearing and real that by the end of your application, i felt like i knew liam but i also knew TOO much because it was so vulnerable. this application was like diving into a great book and i can’t wait to read more of your writing. 

BRUTUS: christopher ‘kit’ stanley written by hayley. 

i was immediately struck by the juxtaposition you presented – the romanticism of kit’s name, home, and family, contrasted with their line of work and attitude. honestly, your sentence structure in that first paragraph really hit me hard and it set a great precedent for the rest of kit’s story. my jaw literally dropped when i read PENSHURST PLACE but i’m so glad you really went there with this character, going all the way to the top with the opulence and hitting home when it comes to what both ashcroft and the imperium society is all about. if you were worried about writing a controversial character, then stop, because kit exemplifies that in a way that is both relatable and painful. the way you wrote his introduction to lysander PAINED me because when i reached that point in the story, it was so satisfying to see such a lonely boy find such a heartwarming friendship, and it quickly becomes obvious how loyal lysander is to kit, how much he cares for him. the cherry on top is kit’s resentment toward octavia and how his relationship splintered with lysander as a result – leading to our ultimate climax. then when you casually dropped that big fucking secret in so casually at the end...the comment i wrote for myself? “GASP.” because damn, what else can i say? you’re on fire. i can’t wait to see how that unfolds. it’s a bad time to make enemies.

CLEOPATRA: iskra gill written by lara. 

this was not the cleopatra i expected at all – in a good way. iskra would like to be unexpected anyway, i think, she’s that kind of girl. her relationship with her family intrigues me most because it is not one of loyalty, and the way she watches her brother crash and burn ( no pun intended ) after being overlooked for her whole life is a moment that i found myself cheering for as the reader ? iskra is a character that worked herself up from the top to the bottom and then back up to the top again, and has lived several lifetimes for someone so young. her secret at first did not strike me as unique – several apps across the board expressed a secret, harbored love for the elusive octavia, but yours was the one i chose because of that realness, that raw understanding that comes with an unrequited love, and how that transitioned into her affair with titus. i also adored your ‘list’ of secrets, which really served to humanize her in so many ways, and the bachelor in paradise detail ? i was laughing through tears. her last fucking text, and all of the final text messages you wrote. words cannot express. if i wasn’t sold already, your fucking LETTER DRAFTS, all of them, heartbreaking and lovely, i felt like i gained a real and full understanding for iskra’s relationship with octavia and how utterly isolated she must feel now. i can’t wait to see every single one of these elements in play on the dash !

CORDELIA: norah bardot written by nica. 

interestingly enough, norah is a character that not only exemplifies the skeleton, but also shakespeare’s interpretation of cordelia: this soft innocence, good-hearted nature that comes with cordelia, but also a realness. compared to every other character, norah is different because her story is not rife with hatred, anger, or the tragedy of a broken home. norah’s is full of love and compassion – and all the ways that isn’t enough. the tiny details, like the soup kitchen and the way you described her mother’s comments, really made me feel the difference in relationship cordelia has with each parent. this line really sticks with me – “you wouldn’t know rebellion, you couldn’t afford to. naive innocence brushed across your forehead, branding you different.” i can’t think of better words and i won’t try. i am scared to accept a character like norah, of course, her gentle kindness and trusting nature are things that are about to get her eaten alive, but isn’t that the fun of it? you also captured her sheer genius as well, which the juxtaposition of that genius and also that naivety is *chefs kiss* – you get her and your interpretation was so well articulated. i am so fucking excited to write with you and read more of what you come up with.  

HAMLET: thalia lukas written by brooke. 

i can feel thalia’s rage and perhaps that runs in the family; rage for her father for how he treated them; rage for her mother for how she left; rage for society for what they did to her brother. thalia doesn’t come across any of her good qualities on her own, they come from lysander, which i found interesting, and i loved how you characterized her as this hopelessly ambitious person to the point of greed and dishonesty. i think you’ve created this sort of desperation in her that’s as strong and dangerous as any sort of violence and that’s what intrigued me at the start: where is this going? what disaster is thalia going to incur next? i also am so deeply drawn to and excited by thalia’s DISLIKE of octavia because ‘if octavia was a beautiful, blossomed rose, thalia was a thorny shrub.’ – all of her actions leading up to the disaster seem to justify all of thalia’s reactions afterward as well, and what we’re left with is a strong, passionate, disorderly mess that so exemplifies thalia, and every way you describe seems to just scream the outsider-ness that i was looking for and i love that she just doesn’t give a FUCK about octavia’s piece of mind – she’s looking for her own. i literally can’t wait to watch her clash with the rest of the muses we have on board here.

LADY MACBETH: valentine vega written by kiwi. 

i won’t get into how hard of a decision this was, you already know. what i will get into is how hard it was to read this application, it was dark and gritty and just the right amount of unsettling. and upsetting. certain aspects of it were so hard to read that i did have to take a break ( i think you can guess exactly where ), but when it comes down to it, valentine fits into this plot seamlessly, and while you can’t blame her for her past, you can blame her for the present; and it really made me think about the fact that her crime was not just what she did to octavia, but what she did to lysander ( which is actually worse than what she did to octavia in val’s story, in my opinion. ) i love an app that can give me a new perspective on my own fucking plot. i remember getting to the second half of your application and a LIGHTBULB dawning over my head when i realized the connection between the first half of her story and the second half, and i would have to agree with you that octavia certainly did not know the entirety of the situation at hand. but using one murder to cover up another...the skeletons are stacking up, and i love how you took the initiative to explain the blackmail in a way that also involves val – it’s nearly impossible not to sympathize with her when you look at it solely from her side. i love how perfectly composed she seems now and the juxtaposition between both contrasting letters you wrote, the one that seems proper and poised and the other that seems completely unhinged, which i sense is the direction you’re going. i am excited to watch such a poised character fall from grace, but i will feel for her at the same time – which is precisely why this works. 

MACBETH: dante campana written by pepper. 

i was hooked from this line: at first, he did. your characterization for macbeth was just so unexpected because to begin with, dante is such a bright person with such a big heart! he is the warm one in a family of cold hearts! i wrote this comment halfway through reading, at the part where he unintentionally starts a nonprofit: “i'm halfway through wondering how tf dante killed anybody? doesn’t make sense.” and yet, you made it make sense. through his relationship with his sister – and the jaw-dropping, horrific event that culminated in her loss, we learn so much about dante and see a changed person. i’ve been thinking a lot about the line where he learns from his family, “if you wanted love, you had to earn it,” and i think that already sets up a lot for his motivations later in his life story, when he commits such an atrocious act. and i think that’s the pull of dante; he doesn’t seem like a killer. not to me, not to anyone. all the police would have to do is GOOGLE him in order to write him off as being completely incapable. he’s a hero, and yet...the progression into villain is tragic, shocking, and morally ambiguous, just the way we like it. there are so many things about him that make him ‘good,’ but yet can we really call him that? i don’t think so, no, and i love this play on the grey areas, and the ways we don’t see the killer under our own noses because of the way they are perceived. thank you so much for crafting such an intriguing, interesting backstory, and i can’t wait to see how dante reacts under all of this new pressure. i trust you will write it beautifully.

OPHELIA: theresa rigby written by nora. 

my first comment: “u knew exactly what you were doing with this beautifully crafted symbolism, huh?” BUT I LOVED IT, the water baby symbolism was just the homage to ophelia i didn’t know i needed. i got strong sharp objects vibes throughout your application, and it’s hard not to associate theresa with death, but she owns it so completely and i can’t stop thinking about the image of her scribbling frantically in the pages of a diary. there’s something slightly unhinged about everything she does, but it’s hard to blame her – you can see every reason behind her actions in the layers of her upbringing. not to mention that you have such a gift for writing metaphors and comparisons that really bring the concepts you have in mind to life ! the cheesegrater one literally made me gasp, i could relate so deeply, and your entire app is filled with small nuggets of purely good writing just like that. such a treat to read. i also had to laugh at lady macbeth being her favorite shakespeare heroine, the way that’s what resonates with theresa and why, and the way that theresa lives her life is so HUMAN to me, and she completely endeared herself when she clumsily tried to quote Ginsberg bidding her friends goodbye. she’s ethereal, dreamlike, but theresa is also real, and that’s what i loved about your application so much. i was so excited by this application and i am even more excited to see more of theresa, because i know she’ll make me laugh, cry, and everything in between. 

OTHELLO: christian bösch written by em. 

it was the long haul to get an application for this skeleton but so, so worth it. i’m obsessed with your take, from how his history with his sister seamlessly transitions into his relationship with lady macbeth, how you’ve entwined christian so deeply in the octavia/lysander drama on his own, adding layers to his motivation for caving to lady macbeth’s whims. christian himself has many layers, and i wrote on your app, “i have no decision to make here. why do i keep reading this app again and again?” because it was just so fucking good, one of those things you read where you forget about everything else cause you’re lost in it for a moment. also, insanely impressed at the ways you dove into connection ideas with every skeleton, drawing similarities and differences between them and it meant a lot to me how much you clearly went through all the details. also, i loved the little bits of dialogue sprinkled throughout the background, i felt like i got a great sense of christian’s voice long before i reached the letter, and by the end you really empathize with his struggle. you can understand WHY it was so easy for lady macbeth to manipulate him in so many ways, and i didn’t even start talking about max ––– there’s just so much good shit to unpack here, i love it, and i can’t wait to continue peeling back the layers. as you can expect, christian will be faced with some major choices soon. only development will see where that takes him. i’m excited.

ROMEO: william “wolfie” preston written by samantha. 

oh, wowie wow. a very hard choice, but you hit it so far out of the park it’s in another galaxy. reading wolfie’s story was like reading a beautiful tragedy, starting with his parents first words when he was born and on to every expectation they placed on him afterward. i feel like romeo was one of those skeletons that had the most laid out for it due to octavia, but you took every little detail, embellished, AND ran with it, which i loved. my favorite part of your app was actually where you wrote about wolfie seeing octavia’s ghost and the first things he said to her – you described their relationship already, but that dialogue back and forth really hit home for me and made me completely understand the weight of their relationship. and why wolfie is just so devastated by what happened that it’s completely changed him as a person. loss can really do that to you, huh? i also really appreciated the way you also incorporated oberon into the story, something i didn’t really see! the way he craves validation from the head of school/the society the same way he craves it from his parents was really hard-hitting and i loved being able to get some insight into that dynamic as well. your app was infused with so many little details and i felt like you also really brought octavia to life, with her names for statues and all. i also died a little at the scene you described at his football game, my heart SUNK for wolfie, because it’s hard to watch him try so hard again. and again. and again. the letter itself was beautiful as well and i appreciated your scene setting, which not only put his words into perspective, but did more to make wolfie seem more real. sure, he’s a golden boy, but he’s also a person, and i’m excited to watch how the events of this plot show all the cracks in his foundation. he’s changed and he’s changing and i’m excited for more.

TITUS: august reyn written by moosh. 

i could not accept a titus that didn’t break my heart. and august broke my heart more times than i can count now, pretty much with every single fucking bullet point. i love the little contradictions; how he hates rich kids but he is one, doesn’t yell during fights but does during debates...i think the thing about august is he is cocky, charming, and at times aggressive, but he also has this sort of interesting moral code that motivates how he treats people and acts on the field; how he SCREAMS at the ref but is patient with his teammates? iconic. i feel like i got more upset over his grandmother’s passing than i did about octavia’s, which says a lot, but don’t think it passed me by how the two people who have really cared for august are no longer around. the moment in his life where he really fights back at his bully and learns the power of WEALTH was so impactful to me, and i think it characterizes many of his actions, prior and post. also the batman comparison was on point, of course. the way his relationship with his dad develops is heartbreaking, but even more heartbreaking is the fact that he loses a support system when things are at their worst. essentially, my heart snaps for august again and again, and reading about his development post-death was raw and hard, like i was reading something i shouldn’t be. i just want august to get a fucking win but i already know i’m going to put him through the ringer, sos sorry in advance. also huge props for roping him into the scandal surrounding octavia’s death in that way, i can’t wait to incorporate that into the plot overall.