#like this image disgusts me
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Me: I don’t have any irrational fears!
Also me:
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andrew’s definitely gotten in trouble with his pr manager for tweeting things along the lines of:
“no mania inducing medication will compare to the euphoria i will feel the day donald trump drops dead”
#pr manager is like: andrew… this is the last time i’m gonna tell you#andrew: whats the point of democracy if i can’t exercise freedom of speech#pr manager: andrew it’s no longer about your image#at this point we are concerned the fbi is going to show up#andrew: neil has connections. i’m fine#they thought marketing andrew on social media would be good#they were sooooo wrong#because now andrew has a place to share every insane thing he’s ever thought#for instance—a tweet that just says ‘an alien googling: human clothes’#he’s on there advocating for lgbtq+ youth you KNOW HE IS#he’s cursing and mildly threatening members of congress for imposing these disgusting bills#one day he tweeted ‘does mitch mcconnell know he’s dead yet’#when mitch mcconnell stepped down from senate andrew tweeted ‘hopefully next he steps down from life’#unsurprisingly: this endears him to some people and makes others fucking hate him#and he’s such a shit. he does not care either way#he’s kind of just like: pr manager. you gave me a twitter and told me to tweet. i’m just doing what you asked me#they’ve threatened to change his password so many times#they actually did once but andrew reported the account so many times for defamation and fraud that it got suspended#and he made a new account out of pure spite#his pr manager is like: andrew nobody is going to want to sign you because of your public image#and andrew is like: ?? ok. they can lose every game then#(he knows he’s the best goalie)#ok i think that’s enough for now. however i will probably be back#andrew minyard#aftg#tfc#trk#tkm#the foxhole court#all for the game
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I TAPPED YOUR ASK BUTTON AND AN O'REILLY AD STARTED PLAYING EVERY THO I HAD NOTHING ON????
Okay anyways sorry for being such a frequent asker on the Jedtavius front but do you think Octavius and Jedediah swap folklore/mythology stories?
Like Octavius telling Jed about Apollo and Hyacinthus or Achilles's battle and Jed rambles on about jackalopes?
Cause I do
What a nice idea actually (also don't apologize, it's fine I don't mind)
My attempt at jackalopes and Hyacinthus and Apollo
I couldn't find a way to fit these all together as one big drawing so I took separate photos
#I tried to see what 'O'reilly' was (on YouTube instead of Google so I'd see the ad) and the results were like usa politics related#I had to add 'ad' at the end to find the actual ad. weird#the colors are different because I don't have most of my markers with me so I used whatever my sister had#this took too long to draw because I got so mad while searching 'jackalopes' on Google I had to stop#there were ai images. on my search. ai. brotha ewwwwwww#disgusting.#ask#not anon#night at the museum#natm#natm jedediah#natm octavius#gaius octavius#octavius#jedediah#jedediah smith#jedediah and octavius#jedtavius#art#fanart#traditional art#hyacinthus#apollo#jackalope#I might post that apollo/Hyacinthus drawing separately too. thoughts?#also is roman 'history'/myths just greek myths? I'm too lazy to search it up but I know they have the same gods but with different names#me breaking my head trying to figure out what their greek names are (it helps me connect them to stuff I actually know)
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sometimes I feel like if I actually look head on at prompto and everything he means to me I’m going to have to hyperventilate into a paper bag for like an hour. genuinely and truly he makes the game for me - he just. makes everything feel so much more real and tangible and human. I literally can’t talk about it without crying I think but he’s so fucking important!!!
#prompto argentum#if I made a kin onion he’d be at the dead center I need you to know this. he’s everything to me.#like idk he just so perfectly captures the way being a lonely kid seeps into your bones and forever shapes your self image#that feeling that there’s something unnameable about yourself that must stay hidden if you ever wanna be loved#like just KNOWING deep down there’s something fundamentally wrong with you your whole childhood but never being able to place a finger on it#but there was never anything wrong with you. no rot you could excise. just you and all your disgusting wants#ANYWAYS. he makes me feel like im peeling apart at the seams and I love him for it#ffxv#final fantasy xv
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looking back at the yjh webtoon screencaps i have saved and giggling... hes so cute... moe... my pookie ^___^ 🥰🥰 poor little meow meow woof woo- *eliminated where i stand*
also these poses are sooooo... 꺄아악🖤🫣🫣🫣🫣
#talk tag#orv liveblog#<--gonna just tag my orv misc posts as this now#i looooove when the webtoon artist draws him like a demonic beast#its genuinely so moe to me smdbsndn like hes supposed to be rly handsome but theyre not afraid to make him look unhinged#i rmbr livetweeting that yjh hibernation pic captioned 'hes so moe'... apparently that was 2022(just dug it up)#more than 1 person has told me that theyre surprised i bias yjh from the webtoon alone#bc apparently they dont do his chara justice(v 😔😔😔 to hear that...thats not good..)#BUT HOW COULD I NOT BIAS HIM!!!! (apparently this is not a universal experience aldjskdj)#this just makes me even more uncontrollably excited to read the novel i cant wait to love him more than i alr do#and i love when he glares and makes a disgusted face at kdj... its so cute 🤭 he's like an angry black dog to me. hes like a wolf puppy#*tries to pat his head and gets cut down in .00001 sec... no he wouldnt waste his sword on me... i would simply perish from being in the#the presence of his aura#literally the tsundere ever#aside from hiei... hiei rly primed me to like male tsunderes guys#like after him i have loved sm tsundere male charas since#yjh is in a league of his own tho. like idc how many similar/near identical charas have come before or since#he OWNS the yjh archetype literally everyone else is just copying him <33#even if it was a choice btwn yjh and cedric id have to go w yjh... he is the original im sorry... i love u cedric#and i love that the whole point is that his design/chara archetype ISNT supposed to be original... thats the Point#he's the typical op dark haired stoic cold brooding (and sexy) protagonist...#his chara concept is supposed to be that trope... but what orv does w him is so subversive#and the fact that he is supplanted from his position as the protag in the narrative... i love it sooo much#like maybe i wouldnt care as much if he actually was the protag? bc again it wouldnt rly be new#but the fact that he isnt the actual protag is sooo good#IM NOT RLY SAYING OR ANALYZING ANYTHING RN BUT I JUST FELT LIKE YJH LOVEPOSTING#o sidenote his webtoon faces make great rxn images slfnsmd I LOVE USING THE FIRST ONE#i love using heartwrenching anime/comic moments out of context as rxn images its so funny to me#me @ the orv live action cast announcement
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#Looking forward to the day where this blog feels like a warm environment again and somewhere I can just have lighthearted fun without it#Being too deep#I’ll always love rbing pretty images but I see how I posted one year ago and how I seemed to have so much fun w it but these days it#Doesn’t feel the same maybe bc I have a bad taste in my mouth from the way everything has been handled on here#and I used to interact w people a lot more too but it just feels like emotional labor sometimes like I want it to be#Fun again but it doesn’t help when people truly ignore fundraisers or dgaf like that shit makes me feel disgusting#I will always be a tumblr girl but I hate it when I feel like people on here are truly just for themselves#Also people on here can be mean asf but I’ve always been firm about not wanting to ditch my own blog#Like that’s MY blog you will literally not annoy me on my own blog#This is just a passing feeling but it’s not supposed to be this deep
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Part of me wants to empathize with the cishet man who is afraid to even appear gay. I think what the cishet man often fears by being seen as queer in dress, in mannerism, in taste, in speech, is that he fears his manhood will be stripped away, his humanity questioned. It's uncomfortable to think. It's uncomfortable to feel, and when you often don't face that for who you are, it feels even more biting. It feels like you have been stripped of a comfort you have had for decades, for your whole life, in one fell swoop.
It's certainly rooted in queerphobia, sure, but as a trans man? I would be lying by omission if I pretended like my own manhood wasn't questioned daily because of who I am, if I pretended like I haven't face violence for my manhood. I would be lying if I pretended like it's perfectly safe every time when people suspect I am queer (not even trans, but "just" queer).
#queer#lgbt#lgbtq#queerphobia#queerphobia tw#i can understand the impulse but the thing i won't understand is when a man turns to violence to ~prove~ he is not One of Us (derogatory)#and i have had cis/het men who were horrified to even know people like ME exist and i have encountered some disgusting displays of hatred#it's things like this that make manhood interesting to me. it's the contradictory idea that man is independent whilst also...#...being hyperdependent on maintaining An Image and defending That Image to the death if necessary#off-topic but FUUUUUCK redd animal crossing for the fake painting i bought by mistake
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it’s so fucked how much something that small affects me this much
#this girl on the lift was opening her coffee and some of it fell on her hand and i was standing next to her albeit cautiously but also#normally and now i can’t get that image out of my head i feel like her drink got on me and i feel disgusting#✉️
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i hate the rest of this anatomy isnt my strongsuit ,, will prob never finish this
#oc#mick as that one scene from#duck! the carbine high massacre#full image has my friends oc too but it looks like shit from a butt so you guys only get to see this bit#lowkeu… i want him#dont miss roughly translates to i Love you hes just emotionally constipated#do you guys still love me even if i have a school shooter oc#my disgusting ugly freak creation whomst i love greatly#hes so gay#calyapwithart#intermediary tapes
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been thinking abt it & I've decided my hate on fanon Leander is personal bc it's fucked up to see people rushing to assume the worst of or egregiously maliciously misinterpret the words and actions of a guy who In The Canon Materials is only ever polite and hardworking, even tho he's implied to do so for some ulterior less-shining motive (which has Not Been Fucking Revealed so you Can't Assume It's Heinous Shit) bc I am also just some guy who does his best to act kind despite & maybe even to disprove the gross shit that's inside of my brain. I am not always nice just to be nice and with Leander people talk like that's the most heinous shit on earth like. GAH. Given the nature of the game people aren't wrong to assume leander will be fucked up in some way!! but it's still upsetting to watch people throw away the obvious good he does for the town because he's ~secretly a manipulator~ or some shit. You don't see ais and vere running a soup kitchen god fucking damn .
Like Ais does help out at kuras's but hes also beating the shit out of people so he's probably just canceling out the extra workload that generates . not like I'm canceling ais here I do think it's interesting to note that all the LIs do something that helps others (mhin and vere hunt soulless, kuras does checkups without health insurance , leander uhh. at least gives you a place to stay 4 free & seems like he'd find you a decent job . Come on) but anyways . U can tell this post was written at 3 am to help me fall asleep. Avid Leander is Evil headcannoners on their way to have the most rancid opinions on people with personality disorders send god damnf post
#shitboxposting#NOT. about the part of fanon where people analyze all his symbolism and theorize what hes up to .#very specifically abt the part of fanon that thinks hes evil shit#because hes manipulative (not inherently evil behavior. nor is he actually shown to be manipulative in the way some people talk like he is)#or whatever other reason i don t know#ghis post is for my mutuals sorry for being a huge hater sometimes...#i WILL be real at least 69% of this is my brain's utterly disgusting image of myself & leander is caught in the crossfire#i dong like him enough to be this bothered by how people post about him. I really dont. get all this shit away from me please
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I want surgery to fix my disgusting deformed face
#body image#FUCK#my nose area is like a cartoonishly ugly goblin drawn by a Disney artist#in fact my whole face is#i wish my eyes didn’t bulge out like a disgusting bug!#but the nose is the absolute worst thing#i need to get rid of this disgusting nose#a nose/profile this hideous is not normal. it is legit bizarre and I look unique#i can’t believe people see me every day and I have no control over it. they see this shape and this profile. gonna throw up#poeples eye are not supposed to bulge out of their head it’s disgusting
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HOLY shit the amount of AI slop on pinterest has made it fucking unusable. I keep trying to fight it by hiding ever AI generated image I see but that means half (or more) of the search results get hidden and I'm left with only a handful of human-made images. Everything seems fine for me when I use it normally, but the second I go looking for inspiration for characters or a world I'm building...
I mean why? Why??? I think the most offensive ones are the ones labelled as "inspiration." There is nothing inspiring about an image created with almost no human input, no artistry, no passion - what part of that is supposed to inspire me? It is nothing but a delusion to think you're being helpful by flooding the internet with this garbage, no matter your intentions.
It's getting to a point where I'm struggling to tell what's AI and what isn't, which has not only become a massive nuisance very quickly, but has also quite frankly wounded my pride. I'm just trying to build a board of reference images and inspiration for my fantasy world, I don't want to be doing mental gymnastics with every single image I come across and that looks like what I'm after; there's lots of detail in the background, but those patterns don't line up and everything has a suspicious blur while simultaneously being very sharp, is it an artistic choice or just AI being AI?
I know it's basically unavoidable at this point, but that doesn't mean I have to accept that. I want photographs taken and art made by humans! I want architecture photos and illustrations of what that same placemight have looked like 500 years ago! I refuse to kowtow to the assholes who make the internet an unsafe place for artists like myself, who carry on despite the knowledge that our art (drawings, writing, photography, etc.) is probably being stolen and stuffed into a digital machine that demands more and more of our blood, sweat and tears just to eventually replace us.
The next time you stumble onto an AI generated image and think "hey, that's not so bad, it's kinda pretty actually," remember that that image could not have been created without a hundered pieces of stolen art and a hundered human artists left in its wake.
#sorry for this one everyone#I know I like disappeared for a couple months and I haven't really posted any art#I'm just so annoyed#because literally every other image I see now on pinterest is AI#'oh just stop using it' WHAT IS THE ALTERNATIVE?#yeah I could go onto google images and compile everything I want to use for inspo into a google doc and maybe print it out if I felt frisky#but that doesn't make the problem go away#google images has nowhere near the pinpoint accuracy to give you what you want in comparison to pinterest#and that's to say nothing of the fact almost every image is AI there too#I can't speak to anyone else but I've definitely had my little hahas at all the 'thats an AI character design! that means its free to steal#Because yeah fuck you if you're using AI to generate character designs#but also they're usually so devoid of anything interesting that I just don't feel inspired by them to do anything#attractive white male probably a demon#43 does absolutely nothing for me#because then if they're hot and dressed slutty I know the original creator at least had some feeling in it (and maybe in their pants as wel#But these AI designs also just. Disgust me#because I stop and think#How many images made by artists like myself did this AI model have to eat in order to spit out his half-rate design with 27 malformed finge#was I one of the artists stolen from to make this?#anyway some AI company CEO called Nightshade and Glaze abusive so THAT MEANS IT'S WORKING KEEP DOING IT#cyril rants#anti ai#fuck ai
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ik it's not good to latch onto a mental illness as your defining trait but also. babe i don't have much else going on or any other sense of identity beyond it
#''you don't want to heal from depression bc you don't know who you are without it'' yeah no shit. if there's no depression there's no me#also i got the no sense of identity disorder!!!! so!!!! said disorder is just my only identity ig!!!!!!#ik this is why ppl look for labels and i am no different but all my labels hinge on being vague so like . not very helpful#others i know latch onto their nationality/religion/heritage etc. but i definitely don't feel pride in any of those#dare i even say i feel disgust. i am more defined by my disdain for being jewish than my actual judaism#ppl say to let what you love define you. but. i don't love. i mean i love my cat but i don't think that can define me#also maybe I'm just autistic but i don't really get how one can even be defined by what they love 🤔#and this whole thing is so weird. bc in so many people's head there is this very firm image#and people tell me i seem confident and like i know how i am and that I'm being myself in an honest way#girl i don't even know what myself is!!!! i am more defined by my lack of definition than anything 😭😭😭#or my worse traits like stubbornness and hypocrisy and obsession#wouldja look at that we just circled back to my bpd. see what I'm saying?#vent#ask to tag#sorry for all the vents today 🫡 i am at my worst actually and i fear i may lose it at any moment ✨️
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*deep breath* FUCK SUMMER CLOTHESSSSSS
#THEY ARE MAKING ME FEEL LIKE SHIT#I FEEL SO FUCKING DISGUSTING OH MY GOD#GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#LEMME EXSIST IN PEACE BODY IMAGE ISSUES LEAVE ME ALONE#I FUCKING HATE MY CHEST#if you read all these congratulations I guess#im fine btw just letting my anger out#tw vent#vent#tw body issues
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Picking up where I left off…
Because I completely forgot to talk about the actual scene in mention! Hinamori’s arrival at the fake Karakura town is one of my favorite aihina scenes because it’s the moment Aizen realizes, as I stated in my original post, that he cannot cross the sea between himself and his former comrades and fellow companions.
One by one, both his companions and enemies are leaving him behind. His army is defeated by the same people he believes himself to be superior to. His former peers have all come together to take him down. The line has been drawn in the sand. There’s no going back, Aizen has no choice but to transcend. (He can’t seem to shake off this emptiness, no matter how far he climbs. No matter what challenge he overcomes. The echo grows louder.)
And to add insult to injury, what if Aizen himself did not sense Hinamori’s arrival before her reveal? What a slap in the face. He was the one who recognized her potential, recruited her, (bonded with her), trained her. She’s not supposed to live without him (because Aizen - the one who yearns for connection - could not live without her. That’s why he had to leave her, kill her, and she has the audacity to survive? To return stronger? She was supposed to die with him).
She can do what he can’t. She can overcome him. And that’s an affront that needs to be punished.
#his power is collaborative in nature. His zanpaktou is only as powerful as those who fill in the gaps#he can become what they want him to be if it serves his needs#he's empty. like the same god that disgusts him.#so he loses either way - he submits to an unworthy power or is the sole soul to ascend#(of course it doesn’t have to be this way but he’s too far gone. it’s also ironic that he trades his zanpaktou (his soul)#that relies on the imagination of others for a magic marble made up of the same unworthy souls he rejects)#either way he’s still made in their image. it’s cyclical#I can’t help but think of daenery’s “if I look back I am lost” because aizen has no past.#that’s the point. he’s rootless. there’s no beginning or end and that’s why I believe in the end he wanted to die#another lyric from Lingua Ignota’s Pennsylvania Furnace “me and the dog die together”#also I don’t believe we would have wanted to go back to SS I just think it’s at fake KT that aizen finally realizes how alone he is#and this climb that never ends#also why I believe bleach should have ended once he was defeated but 🤷♀️
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sorry I know I said I don't do discourse but this has bothered me So Much since this whole catastrophe has started
the original statement was worded so vaguely yet precisely enough to get a very different image across to the listeners. like the wording was vague in a sense that made it sound like what went down was much, much more sinister and in a way that would resonate with victims of SA who were actually touched in areas around their genitals or other places on their bodies that are generally considered very sexual. the whole thing was worded in a way that made it hard to listen to for people who went through SA so they would fill out the blanks with things they experienced. and it makes me so very angry that something like this was used against an innocent man and against all the victims that wanted to support her.
#litchi.txt#vent#discourse#its just. since I first heard it because I did watch the stream#I couldnt even go through the full thing because it made me sick in the stomach#the wording was way too specific to Not conjure up images of hand that goes way too low on the waist or way too close to breasts#or between thighs#like that was so fucking intentional because it feels shameful to admit that someone touched you like that#especially because men do that and they slide their hands under your clothes and its Disgusting#and idk. I just feel gross for her and for myself. I feel used in that way. its awful
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