#and this climb that never ends
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Picking up where I left off…
Because I completely forgot to talk about the actual scene in mention! Hinamori’s arrival at the fake Karakura town is one of my favorite aihina scenes because it’s the moment Aizen realizes, as I stated in my original post, that he cannot cross the sea between himself and his former comrades and fellow companions.
One by one, both his companions and enemies are leaving him behind. His army is defeated by the same people he believes himself to be superior to. His former peers have all come together to take him down. The line has been drawn in the sand. There’s no going back, Aizen has no choice but to transcend. (He can’t seem to shake off this emptiness, no matter how far he climbs. No matter what challenge he overcomes. The echo grows louder.)
And to add insult to injury, what if Aizen himself did not sense Hinamori’s arrival before her reveal? What a slap in the face. He was the one who recognized her potential, recruited her, (bonded with her), trained her. She’s not supposed to live without him (because Aizen - the one who yearns for connection - could not live without her. That’s why he had to leave her, kill her, and she has the audacity to survive? To return stronger? She was supposed to die with him).
She can do what he can’t. She can overcome him. And that’s an affront that needs to be punished.
#his power is collaborative in nature. His zanpaktou is only as powerful as those who fill in the gaps#he can become what they want him to be if it serves his needs#he's empty. like the same god that disgusts him.#so he loses either way - he submits to an unworthy power or is the sole soul to ascend#(of course it doesn’t have to be this way but he’s too far gone. it’s also ironic that he trades his zanpaktou (his soul)#that relies on the imagination of others for a magic marble made up of the same unworthy souls he rejects)#either way he’s still made in their image. it’s cyclical#I can’t help but think of daenery’s “if I look back I am lost” because aizen has no past.#that’s the point. he’s rootless. there’s no beginning or end and that’s why I believe in the end he wanted to die#another lyric from Lingua Ignota’s Pennsylvania Furnace “me and the dog die together”#also I don’t believe we would have wanted to go back to SS I just think it’s at fake KT that aizen finally realizes how alone he is#and this climb that never ends#also why I believe bleach should have ended once he was defeated but 🤷♀️
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Give me five whole minutes.
Credits: Me
#I sobbed like a baby during Missing Limbs but I didn't expect the end of Euclid to catch me so bad#but hearing that line. hearing that *song* that has constantly ran rampant in my mind. That I've held so close to my chest? Amazing#absolutely fucking amazing#let alone getting to sing it along with 20k other people#the Espera sounded gorgeous Vessel sounded gorgeous and ii iii and IV played wonderfully well#(about to be a bit vunerable so bear with me)#I said in one of my other posts that 'I think my soul came out of my body for a bit' and I mean that whole heartedly. because this is where#call it an extreme reaction but I felt all my blood go out of my fingers and just this. humungous weight peeling itself off of my shoulders#I jokingly call myself a cockroach a lot because I tend to have bitterly bad luck and just try my best to get back up after it and this jus#I'm describing as I go and it's the hardest thing to illustrate#I felt welcomed. like the warm feeling when you come home and the heatings on in Winter#never will I ever fully be able to execute the thanks I have for what this band has done for me#for what you guys in this community have done for me#this felt like a peak and I think I'll forever being going upwards from here. this and you guys have made the climb so much easier#perhaps the appropriate time to simply say 'worship'#mel's rambles#mel's photos#sleep token#st#teeth of god tour#tog tour#vessel#vessel sleep token#euclid#song euclid#tmbte#sleep token tmbte#take me back to eden#+ again. kindly ignore me crying and singing
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roger who's nickname for buggy was "junebug" cause they found him in june and his hair is the same color.... buggy who hates it at first until he's climbing into his captain's bed at night bc of a nightmare and his captain says ever so softly, "oh junebug, c'mere"..... the nickname getting adopted by everyone on the crew until nobody calls him buggy anymore..... them meeting up with thr whitebeard pirates and getting irrationally jealous when the whitebeards use the nickname bc that's their nickname and who the fuck do these people think they are getting so close to their junebug.... rouge who has never met buggy calling him junebug in her head.... roger whose last words to buggy that fateful day before loguetown was "you shine like the sun, junebug. never stop"..... buggy who waits for years after the execution for a call from one of his former crew members, hoping every time the den-den one day it'll be rayleigh or seagull or gaban or sunbell on the other side with a familiar "hey junebug", except no one ever calls and the years go by and buggy slowly learns to stop waits, and gives on being the roger's junebug and learns how to be buggy the clown, buggy the genius jester, buggy the immortal, everything and anything other than junebug
#the thing about buggy is that he is always loved but never enough yknow?#and he'll never be his dad's junebug again and it kills him some days#he'll never argue with shanks again and have rayleigh come and break them apart with a 'junebug! shanks! enough you're both dumbasses'#toki-neesan will never let him curl up with momo and hiyori again#those days are over and yet somedays he looks in the mirror and he is still 14 wtching his captain's head hit the ground with a splat#he is still 12 watching his dad walk away from them and knowing in his heart that this was the end#he is still 8 and climbing onto his new home and when his captain asks for his name he says 'buggy sir' and capt laughs and says#'what an ordinary name for a boy like you!' as shanks look ready to well shank capt for the perceived slight against buggy#he is still 8 and sitting on captain's shoulders as his dad says 'do you see how beautiful she is junebug? you carry her with you'#he'll never be junebug again but by god he wants it so badly he thinks he'll die from the ache of it#(junebug is dead and has been dead for a long time but smtimes when he sits by shanks and they're sharing a drink as they carefully tiptoe#around certain topics; shanks'll just Look at him and for one soft gut-wrenching moment junebug is alive again#and then the moment passes and they're back to being buggy and shanks: two broken men desperately trying to make sense of the cards#gave them)#op buggy#buggy the clown#buggy one piece#gol d. roger#roger pirates#anyway how y'all doin?
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oh I forgot to post about this on tumblr but I made a slight change to Ethedis' backstory. I've decided that her and Corunir actually knew each other years and years ago, before he went to Angmar and was assumed dead. I wanted them to have a longer history together, and saying they met in Rivendell earlier was a pretty easy way to do it!
So, bad news for Eth because it means she had to go years thinking her first Ranger friend died, but good news because he turns out to be ok! everything is fine! y'know, besides the fact that Corunir seems like a shell of himself when she finally finds him again- ok I really need to learn how to be nicer to my poor elf
#anyway the way they first meet is cute obviously#he's just minding his business passing through Rivendell but then this random tra la la lally elf convinces him to climb the tree she in#JUST so she can pester him with questions about Dunedain history like the nerd she is#they both end up falling off the tree btw#thus was the start of a beautiful friendship <3#she always drags him into her shenanigans every time he visits#until one day he never comes back. and the other Rangers say he went to Angmar with Golodir's Company#and now they're calling the Lost Company. has it really been that long? they say he's likely never coming back now#AUGH I try to make up something sweet and silly and then *boom* ANGST ANGST ANGST#lotro#corunir#lotro oc#Ethedis
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Jack Marsh (2005), Friendship Otherwise - Toward a Levinasian Description of Personal Friendship
#saw carnation lily lily rose by john singer seargent irl today. it was basically at my doorstep all along idk why i never went to see it#it was placed at a corner in the gallery. me and my friend sat down and sketched the paintings of beautiful naked people quite badly. paper#provided by tate britain. she told me about how she couldnt look her boyfriend in the face after a harrowing film about war. when i say the#interview was informal i mean the person who was supposed to be my boss told me let me get you a cider and then he said after#50 years of life he knows people are inherently good and it only takes a little bit of kindness to save this world. he said he tricked#his wife into keeping the baby and then he said he quit his job at a US bank to help people find meaning and in it#he would have liked to find meaning. instead he started climbing with his friends. he said he chews his cigarettes because its a habit from#when he had to hide things from people. the entire time i felt uncomfortable and incredibly enlightened. this is my friends mentor. she has#his pattern of pauses and expletive and penchant for ends-justify-means attitude. i do think im not very clever#but maybe one day i will love you enough to make up for it. i wrote code i dont understand staring at the final error i thought about how#we both thought of how when we're too old to remember the voices of our friends we would like to stand in the pathway of the LHC beam pipe#cut it open and eat light in the freezing cold vacuum (kills you long before radiation will) the invisible puncture wound unfolding dna#back to the start larger than you ever were. you go to heaven once youve been to hell. my friend is in my bed#practicing calculations of eigenvectors by hand and she is uninterested in a visual proof you are uninterested in incompetence#we catch a train this is your kind of burden you tragic hero wincing at that word you only do this because you have to. im the only one#who can. i am a coward in this for the fucking poetry. the visual proofs. the pretty numbers. an architect who was horrible at maths wanted#to be a philosopher and accidentally ended up neck in deep in 70th Error On Visual Studio Code i want to kiss your eyes before we say#goodbye we both know there is no love in the way there should be. I still have your dress in my wardrobe. i hope you make art.#you think im alright head-wise i think you fucking hate me i think ill never be so clever you want me to tell you my idea?#if you wanted more of this world i would have liked to kiss you harder. we cant both be like this. im sorry i cant be with you the whole wa#the love is gone if you have to ask it. his breath catches his eyes feel stiff it is -1.9 kelvin he is near the beam pipe i miss holding#his hand i miss her singing voice i miss his hair and i found the antonym of pain thank you for carrying me home.
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Physically I am tucked up in bed on phone, mentally I am floating face down in a river
#man everything sucks lol I have no motivation to do anything#probably bc the sun sets at 4pm and I’ve been off my meds for almost two weeks#only one of those things I can control#and I am trying to climb out of my hole and get more meds#but unfortunately not being on meds makes me dig a hole#so it’s just a never ending cycle of digging#personal
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harrow the ninth spoilers below the cut
lying in the tomb that had claimed her heart, faraway in a land she had never travelled, harrowhark nonagesimus fell asleep, or dropped dead, or both (htn)
#watch me become a minstrel who climbs on chairs at parties and recites massive chunks of tlt by heart#anyway i never ever got over htn#the damn orpheus and eurydice parallels!!#the love and loss!!!#this ending!!!!#did i understand it?#fool#i understand nothing#but it makes me feel things#the locked tomb#the locked tomb fanart#harrow the ninth#harrow the ninth spoilers#harrow the ninth fanart#the locked tomb spoilers#tlt spoilers#tlt fanart#harrowhark nonagesimus
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BESTIEEEEE how are we feeling after that lestappen podium?!
I. AM. SO. ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#I HAVE NEVER FELT MORE ALIVE IN MY LIFE#I COULD CLIMB MOUNT EVEREST WITH NO OXYGEN#I COULD END WARS
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Utricularia graminifolia running absolutely hogwild
#plant stuff#carnivorous plants#bladderwort#i made this tank three or four years ago super cheaply as a test to see if i could get u. graminifolia to thrive#because i was going to make a carnivorous plant paludarium from a glass tank i had#i never made the paludarium in the end but u. graminifolia is still here#living on nothing but the water getting topped up when it gets low and the occasional moth or fungus gnat that falls in and drowns#this is the best she's ever looked but i would appreciate it if she stopped trying to climb out of the tank lmao
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I LOVE YOU STORY FYI!!!!! READ IT ALL IN A MONTH. JUST WANTED TO SEND LOVE BECAUSE HOLY SHIT IT WAS INCREDIBLE!"
I'm so glad you enjoyed it!!! I am having so much fun writing the next chapter and seeing all the comments from ppl who enjoy it and think the story slaps is incredibly inspiring and is just more kindling for the fire 🔥 the urge to write more is burning strong and I'm already working on spin offs and ideas for more in this universe. I'm so glad folks are having fun and your comments mean the world to me!
🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳
#im just hollering all the time in my head#i have the ending all plotted out but the spin offs are like#what if the party never ends?#my own personal weirdmaggedon of stories#i would be climbing up the walls#knowing me knowing you
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Wahh I meant to post last week but thank you @polarmary and @moibakadesu for your shimejis -- they're very good company in online class ;----; Just three clueless kings looking at each other during lecture 👍
(The picture came out crunchy but they look really good on my screen I promise sdfasdf)
#ive had them chillin with me for months now and still never looked into adjusting the size difference oops 😅#i ended up downloading maris first but moi your fuuta is so cute too ;---;#i was dreading jumping back into class but theyve made me so happy :3#sopping wet creatures climbing on my walls 👍#rose rambles
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The 4halo romcom scene made me feel kinda bad for Richarlyson honestly lmao (in a funny-not-serious way). Like Dapper and Baghera were shoving Bad towards Forever and poor Richas was trying to get in between them. Little buddy was outnumbered.
Like. Okay. So he dropped 4halo in favor of 4max and then as soon as he dropped it, Dapper swooped in and picked it up and now we’re all just back where we fucking started aren’t we
#like. goddammit#this will never ever end we’re all caught in a loop and time is a flat circle#dapper ships whatever is funniest at the current moment#they saw richas abandon ship and went ‘you know what would be hilarious’ and climbed aboard#richas shaking his head no at dapper and dapper just being like ‘what sorry can’t hear you over the sound of ROMANCE’ is just so funny#i know dapper is a multishipper and already shipped 4halo before but now he’s being indiscreet about it which is even funnier#4halo#4max?? is that the name??#is it 4max or 4maxo have we decided yet
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I was rereading chapter 12 of system rebooting please standby and I found it just a little sweet that spamton was excited to see Kris (even tho it wasn’t them lol). tho he mostly was hoping for Kris to save his hide, I also think he was just happy to see his friend since he’s so lonely at that point
im rlly glad you liked that bit!! :D spamton will always have his more selfish motivations, and i've tried writing him so that if he ever does want/need something from someone else he goes into salesman mode, playing nice and innocent enough to get what he wants. But like they're his friend!! his buddy!! :D!! they're a puppet just like him and they helped to free him even if it was obvious he was up to no good in the first place! someone like that to return to him in his extreme loneliness and confusion would be a godsend, but he doesn't get those often. so whoops it had to be an addison lmao
I'd imagine if kris were to return, he'd be hanging around them and their friends to the point where it got annoying but only because he genuinely cares now and they've given him a new purpose in the world he's forever fated for. Though it would genuinely surprise me if he appeared again in canon (i think he's just gonna get the jevil treatment and be a quiet close-to-nonliving item in your inventory), but in this au hed be harder than hell to get rid of (akin to actual spam) hfjsksksk.
#i'd imagine he forms strong connections with those who give him the time of day#like the obsession with swatch when they treated him with kindness#or giving the thorn ring to noelle in snowgrave as she clicked on his ads#both of them were cons to get what he wanted (access to the basement + neo)#but deep down i think he cares based on his pacifist ending#it's his nature as a conartist as well as someone so beat down by the world to equate genuine kindness to potential suckers#maybe he thinks that if they're dumb enough to be nice to him they'll be dumb enough to help him get what he wants#not a healthy mindset to have#with kris tho it's different cuz like they're puppeted by us#he has TWO beings to swindle but jokes on u buddy we chose kindness anyway#and maybe he can sympathize with that seeing as he was quick to offer the dealmaker to us to help us on our journey no payment necessary :')#god i can talk about his connection and character development with us and kris forever#i'd also imagine he gets increasingly desperate and delusional once the loneliness climbs#just hoping for the most wanted outcome#it's like a hopeless optimism that never dies#he's a living oxymoron#i need to stop writing essays in the notes srry lol#fanfic#asks
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i love rock…and i love recording myself at the climbing gym like all the men do - as if i’m sending v10s - lol 😤
#idk what the fuck is happening in that first pic. ignoring how i still have no idea what to do with my legs 90% of the time#it’s nice to compare my videos to videos i took of myself at the end of march :) where i couldn’t even stay on the wall. lol#tbh i never thought id even get to v1s like. i was so afraid of falling and had 0 upper body strength but !!! i even tried some v2s#and like. i think i can get there!! i would like to climb at least one v2 by the end of the summer lol 💀 lofty goal though idk#climbing#text
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the thing is.
raffi isn’t half as strange or off-putting as she could be. given how she processes things and her vices she really should be so much more of an audacious eccentric obsessive schemer (love) and also just the biggest liar to ever do it. meddlesome as hell but it comes back to bite.
she’s got all the connects but also she’s been banned from multiple planets. it’s fine. she didn’t want to go back to any of them anyway. her access was revoked so why does she know so much about seemingly unconnected classified events and titbits. why don’t you. she happened upon that information. as one does. what’s with all the questions. smooth talks her way in and out of stupid situations daily because she can’t leave well enough alone and just has to get answers. she does not get her answers. rabbit holes that spawn labyrinths. whatever the futuristic version of a red string board is. rios breaking into her quarters because it’s been days and she’s replicated an alarming amount of wine but very little food and he hates the EMH but the nosey holo is right this cannot stand. she tries to be present because it was her idea to visit that one spa like planet in the first place but it’s physically impossible for her not to bring up whatever theory it is that’s plaguing her this time around. there’s something just outside her periphery and once she connects the dots she’ll let it go. really. the great pretender. an actual reckoning with her addiction and what’s at the root of it. why constantly numbing herself with various substances didn’t actually work. she can fool everyone but not herself. at least not well. all the fallout with people she loves that now want nothing to do with her (gabe?? hello that thread alone is so much) because of all the times she recklessly dismissed or used them for her own means all the while convincing herself it was about the big picture. being real with herself about the reality of starfleet and why she wants in so badly anyway. greater good huh. her tricked out encrypted tech because why accept bland federation equipment or adhere to legal limits when she can make things that much more fun with a little tweaking. that unassuming little trailer is fortified as fuck. eyescan fingerprint alphasymbolic code physical lock to even get past the front door. and obviously her tech self destructs upon intrusion this isn’t amateur hour. she might be living in a semi utopia but you still not about to catch her slipping. any and all conversations between cybernetist agnes jurati and intelligence officer raffaela musiker. rios needs them to stop making unauthorized changes to la sirena and cut it out with the emergency holo roundtables. everything to do with her and seven but twice the stubborn gay ridiculousness and entwinement. everyone is alive and well and in their rightful timelines. salivating. she’s barely putting in her weird girl hours and already people can’t take it imagine if they just leaned into making her a possessive obsessive little freak (positive!) and wrote/depicted everything with care? the layers. a hyper-competent-women-with-massive-issues-lover’s dream and the nasty bros and bigots who can’t fathom anyone other than a bland white guy as deserving of complexity or relevance would die on the spot amen. id EAT.
#raffi musiker#women who are giant weirdos my beloved#it’s not like she’s the first trek character with Personality but instead of#building an alter to her lmao#she’s rebuked#this world. it ain’t right…#thinking st jean luc was gon be anything but old man woes#very silly behaviour on my part😭#but i couldn’t just not fall for raffi like that was never going to happen#she’s just. character of all time#this is the last time i get roped into a show riddled with unrealized potential (lying)#although whenever the show does climb out of jlps ass and remembers other characters need to be more than just ornamental#there are glimpses (some this season even) of how things could be if she was able to step into her power and it’s amazing lol#the moment for ultra forgiving self sacrificing black woman therapist friend has ended it’s time for arrogant freaks who are doing their be#& im not gon do it but making a series rewrite a passion project sounds like a GREAT way to tickle my crazy#lasirenas#.rfi
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Fascinated by how many people are picking the Daycare Attendant on that poll, I would have been soo scared of Sun
#i think sun would've liked me though which is a fun thought#i was always like the least chaotic to the point of always having to wrangle in the other kids my age#some of my earliest memories are... demanding a toddler my age to drop a sharp object#running after my friend who was ringing all the doorbells while i apologized to every person who answered their door#stopping a for-fun rock fight. twice at least#walking my friend home and comforting them after they got hurt#my mum also told me i've never thrown a temper tantrum in my entire life#oh telling my friends not to play by the fast river or frozen pond. yes i KNOW it's ice. it can BREAK. AND THE POND'S ON PRIVATE PROPERTY#[softly] why are you climbing so high up the tree#ohhh right yeah i forgot i also ended up having to help that kid get back down off the tree. just remembered#i was not the fuck around and find out kid. i wasn't about to let anyone else find out either#I COMPLETELY WENT OFF COURSE INTO NOSTALGIA. EXCUSE ME. my point WAS... i would have made it my goal to help with Sun's job#still wouldve been a little scared of him though
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