#like this could be so easily read as queerplatonic

[melviships]

I have a secret fixation I won't say the name of out loud because it's pretty... on the nose with writing in spite of being compelling with the concept and world building. It has flaws, undoubtedly, but I love it nonetheless. It is an indie production and falls prey to the "has so much to say but sacrifices clarity in fear of early termination". And it's 3D animated which often gets flack, which I find unfair due to the effort such a style requires. On top of it all, the same production company released a pilot that went viral very recently.

And yet I find myself hesitant to share my love for it, something I find odd given my tendency to embrace unbridled joy even when the subject doesn't seem to warrant such a thing.

Being vague because I see the main characters as my kids and I didn't know what to do about it- and the parents were just shown more in the latest episode and um.

I think I might want to, I dunno, be the third in this ???? My age is starting to show. I don't want kids, I don't want to have kids, I don't want to be a parent. But... consider... polyamory. Consider, they aren't my kids, but I am the partner of a parent.

I hope this makes sense, I'm having a moment evidently.

[aroaessidhe]

2024 reads / storygraph

Lord of the Empty Isles

sci-fi/fantasy

set on a supposedly utopian planet recovering from a climate crisis, where bonds between people are able to be seen and manipulated (by some people)

follows a young man whose brother was cursed and killed by an infamous outlaw 5 years ago, and he’s finally able to curse him back - but it rebounds, as he’s somehow fatebound to the outlaw

to find a cure and save them both they have to team up, and he quickly finds out that the resources the outlaw is stealing go to the thousands of people neglected on prison planets, and he has to go against what he thought was right to help them

no romance, aroace MC, focus on platonic relationships

arc from netgalley, out june 6

[taliesin-the-bored]

Tag game: tag nine people you’d like to know better.

Tagged by: @oneshoulderangel (Thank you for tagging me!)

Last song: At the moment, I have "Losing Your Memory" by Alan Star stuck in my head, which I suppose makes it my current song, not my last song. Hm. I get songs stuck in my head very easily, but the last one I had there for a significant amount of time was a mashup of different language versions of "Les Rois du Monde" for about a week. "Lehetsz Király", the Magyar version, is probably my favorite of them. It's worth a listen.

Currently watching: Normally, the answer would be "random mostly terrible old movies/shows" or "nothing much", but I currently have a hyperfixation on the musical Roméo et Juliette and have been watching it in multiple languages. (Thus, the song).

Three ships: This is hard. Maybe as a result of being on the ace and aro spectrums, I'm more likely to care about which characters are interacting than whether it's romantic or platonic. Here goes:

Kedivere/Bedikay. It can be romantic, platonic, or queerplatonic, but whichever way, I'm here for it. I probably spend too much time thinking about how in Cullwch and Olwen, when Cai gets mad at Arthur and marches out, Bedwyr stays behind, keeps acting like nothing's happened, and isn't the one to avenge Cai's death. The feeling of betrayal on both sides has a lot of unexplored potential. And the version where Bedivere dies and Kay fights to bring his body back safely while mortally wounded himself... And the version where Bedivere survives Camlann and Kay isn't said to fight in it, so they might be left together after their world has fallen apart...

Platonically or queerplatonically, Galahad and the Grail Heroine. I really like the tragic Grail Quest friendships, but I like theirs most, maybe because there's something weird and otherworldly about them both. I like it when characters are strange and endearing and doomed by the narrative.

Ever since reading John Matthews' retelling, which I read before the original, I've had a soft spot for Caradoc and Guinier. The Story of Caradoc is very disturbing, and I have some major qualms with Caradoc over a detail Matthews cut out, but all the same, there's a reason these two have the best track record with magical fidelity tests. Each of them would go to the ends of the earth for the other, and together, they're stronger than any curse.

Favorite Color: Blue, particularly royal blue and some teals.

Currently consuming: Black licorice with chocolate.

First ship: This is a hard one, since through elementary and most of middle school, I tended to go along with whatever I thought the author's intentions were and was more likely to unship something. The first non-endgame ship I got invested in was Sonya/Nikolai in War and Peace. I didn't like Nikolai, but Sonya did, and she was my favorite character, so I wanted her to be happy. The first non-canon couple I thought was meant to be together was also in War and Peace: Marya Bolkonskaya and Julie Karagina. My eighth grade self did not think their letters could be interpreted platonically. I still don't.

Last movie: If the musical doesn't count, the last movie I watched was Quest for Camelot, which was awful. Though not Robot Monster-level bad, Robot Monster has an elegance to its simplicity which Quest for Camelot lacks.

Currently working on: Various fics, most of them Arthuriana or CotRK-related (I am woefully behind on the Badfic Bingo), and (theoretically) an epic-style poem, though I haven't gotten much of it written for quite a while now.

Tagging: @gawrkin, @emperorcandy, @wildbasil, @gorewound, @knightsofsomethingorother, @ladyminaofcamelot, @tasosotaso, @amashelle, @gingersnaptaff (I have no idea who's been tagged so far, apart from the people on @oneshoulderangel's post, so I apologize for any multi-tags)

[nonsensology]

So I've had these Grunkle Stan crackships on my mind for almost a year now. Could be interpreted as platonic, but I think there's great and fascinating potential if interpreted fully romantic. Full musings and explanations below (Warning: very disjointed and random).

Uncle Chan from Jackie Chan Adventures

Maybe Ford and Stan stumble across the Chans on one of their globe-trotting adventures. Both groups fight off the same supernatural threat and surprise each other with their ease and familiarity with the weird and fantastical.

I feel Uncle is kind of a weird in-between of Ford and Stan. He is knowledgeable but not a nerd like Ford, is generally cranky but doesn't get into trouble like Stan does, although he does have a level of disregard towards authority if it gets in the way of his goals. He's quick to do research instead of impulsively charging into a situation.

I think Uncle's dynamic with Stan would be hilarious. They would argue a lot on how to deal with a threat, but once they agree to work together, they could kick ass. Once he gets past his initial annoyance, Stan would probably enjoy Uncle's quips, even more so when he realizes that Uncle does not say them to be funny, he's just naturally snarky.

Uncle is never shown having any romantic interest or relationships, so I kind of headcanon him as ace, but I think it would be really interesting to see what kind of queerplatonic relationship he and Stan could form.

Jade and Mabel would probably hit it off immediately, and while Jade isn't as studious as Dipper, she also has an enthusiasm for the supernatural so she'd probably get along decently with him. She'd also probably think Stan and Ford are super cool, especially considering their lax attitude toward giving children weapons. Though they do still take the kids' safety very seriously.

Jackie is doubtful of Stan, much like he was with Viper, but seeing Stan look out for the kids would probably endear him a little. Ford might also help ease his worries, and maybe they both could have fun discussion about archeology.

I think Tohru and Soos could get along decently, though Tohru would find Soos' eccentric musings odd at first.

Additionally, Uncle's shop is in San Francisco, practically next door to Dipper and Mabel in Piedmont. The kids would easily visit each other every weekend.

Bruno Madrigal from Encanto

Stan has been to prison in Colombia, so I don't think he'd willingly travel there for fun, and Encanto Valley seems relatively closed off from the rest of the world, so I imagine their meeting is accidental, maybe a result of the Stans getting caught in a storm or something. They stay for a while in the valley while repairing their boat.

Stan might initially be outraged at the idea of the Madrigals not charging anyone for the use of their gifts, but perhaps lightens up when he sees how close-knit the community is. He'd still come up with ways they could show off their powers Mystery Shack style, probably butting heads with Alma in the process, lol. He might encourage Bruno to adapt a more showman-like approach to his seer abilities to make it more presentable and less intimidating.

Bruno and Stan connecting over their shared feelings of isolation from family is definitely what drew me to these two together in the first place. If they ever got serious about their relationship, I can imagine the biggest hurdle would be deciding if they should continue a long-distance relationship, since neither is keen on asking the other to be separated from their family.

Yuuko Ichihara from xxxHolic and Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle

Major spoiler alerts for both series. It's been many years since I've read them, and Tsubasa had so many plot twists that even CLAMP (the writers) admitted they were confused by the end result. I also might be misremembering some details, so bear with me. Factoring in the plotlines for both series and Gravity Falls would make for an incredible AU fanfic that I unfortunately am not qualified to write.

Due to Yuuko's shop being in Tokyo, a whole ocean away from Oregon, I like to imagine some timey-wimey space mumbo jumbo allowing Yuuko and Stan to meet in the dream realm. Maybe at some point, Yuuko's shop would obtain a door connecting it to the Mystery Shack.

Stan and Yuuko both have a mischievous side, though Yuuko is generally more reserved. They could start out as drinking buddies, though I imagine Stan would probably favor a light beer, while Yuuko loves sake.

They also both use aliases (it is never revealed what Yuuko's real name is), but Yuuko would likely be upfront about it. As their relationship progresses, Stan would probably feel comfortable telling Yuuko his real first name, even after she tells him the supernatural dangers of giving your real name.

While Stan scams his customers, he generally sells harmless entertainment and trinkets, whereas Yuuko grants wishes and operates strictly on an equivalent exchange basis. To quote the wiki, "All of Yuuko's customers must pay a price in order to grant their wishes, which can be no more or no less than the one demanded, or else harm will come to one's way. She is not one to tell the customer the most direct way to solve their problems because in the end, it can only be solved with that person's own realization and resolution to change themselves... Her abilities are not unlimited and may almost seem like a curse as it appears that she is unable to do anything for anyone or grant any gift (other than feelings) without it becoming a binding transaction." 

When Stan finds out just how powerful Yuuko is, I think he might react with a mixture of hesitation and awe, especially when she reveals she knows about his past, and Ford being lost in the multiverse. I am on the fence on whether Yuuko would use her powers to bring Ford home sooner, or let Stan continue working on the portal because he's already close to completing it and this would be significant in defeating Bill.

I found that the main villain of Tsubasa, Fei Wang Reed, surprisingly parallels Stan. Both endanger reality to bring back someone who is lost, but while Stan does it out of love and devotion to his family, Fei Wang Reed only did it in an arrogant plan to prove himself a powerful sorcerer. And in Fei's case, the person is already dead. CLAMP's universe establishes that the dead cannot be brought back to life, and Fei's wish to do so would cause the universe to be destroyed. I wonder if Bill would factor Fei as part of his plans.

Stan also surprisingly shares a lot in common with Fai D Fluorite. Both use their twin's name (Fai's real name is Yuui), and for much of the series Fai's tragic backstory regarding his twin is unknown, and he hides his trauma under a laid back exterior. I think Stan would empathize a lot with Fai, after he finds out his backstory.

Kimihiro Watanuki is revealed to have been created to fill a void left by Syaoran after the latter wished to turn back time. I remember Watanuki's character arc involved realizing that people cared about him. "Don't disappear", "Continue existing". Stan would probably take Watanuki under his wing, much like he did with Soos. Watanuki might find life with the Pines family far more chaotic than he's used to, but slowly warm up.

Yuuko is revealed to have died a long time ago and has basically been in magical stasis due to Clow Reed's unintentional wish. When time finally moves forward again, Yuuko eventually passes on. She doesn't return in the canon series, but Watanuki is stated to have also suspended his time to wait for her return. In this AU, maybe she reincarnates in the past and reunites with Stan and the Pines in the present day.

[acesartemis]

yearning (g, Eddie pov, buddietommy)

my take on a queer/asexual/questioning eddie

“Eddie, I want you to do a little research” —

Eddie bit his lip to contain his groan at the word ‘research’. He had come to have the kneejerk reaction to it due to Buck’s insistent need to research everything. It was endearing, don't get him wrong, but he could easily get tired of the yapping.

—“on the orientation of Asexuality,” Frank suggested close to the end of Eddie’s therapy session. “Maybe its romantic counterpart of aromanticism, too, wouldn’t hurt. Whom you are attracted to does not garner the same amount of distress in you as much as the how.  I think the asexual spectrum may be of comfort to you, considering what we’ve discussed previously of your views towards sex and dating feeling like you have to perform in those situations.

“Unfortunately, I cannot—and I would not—tell you what you should identify as, but I feel like, even if you’re not asexual, learning that it is a possibility may help you feel more settled. Furthermore, it may open the door to more exploration if you so choose. Once you have a baseline of information, we can discuss further, if needed, at the next session. ‘Sound good?”

At Eddie’s overwhelmed look, Frank gave a tiny chuckle. “Here, I’ll write it down so it's easier to remember for you.” 

Eddie took the paper from the therapist and gave him a hearty handshake. “I will. Thanks again, man.”

—♠—

The paper sat on his bedside table for three and a half days until a restless and hot night after a whirlwind of saving people from themselves and other members of humanity left Eddie unable to get comfortable enough to sleep.

With a sigh, Eddie reached for the paper, illuminated red by his alarm clock, and his phone. Might as well do some reading at 3:37 in the morning.

“Asexuality,” Google read, “is the lack of sexual attraction to others, or the low or absent interest in or desire for sexual activity.”

Well, what a loaded definition.

Eddie’s head thunked against his headboard, dropping his phone to his chest as he stared at the ceiling. Yes, he’s described dating and sex as feeling like a performance. With Shannon, it was his first real relationship, them being so young. The Church and his culture told him to be a man he needed to find himself a good woman and only bed her after they were married. That was fine with him. But the act itself felt gross that first night. The noises, the sweat, the skin to skin contact, and the dirty talk always felt so awkward to him. And he hated the anxiety of making sure she felt good, that she was always satisfied. Eddie could stick his gloved hands in bloodied flesh all day long, but the thought of reaching into a woman just to find a bunch of nerves—no.

Then Shannon got pregnant, their marital-duty fulfilled, and Eddie found his out in the military where he went years without having sex, and truthfully didn't think much of it at all.

But touching he missed. And kissing. He could never get enough. The closeness, the intimacy, the soft caresses, the security of having someone or being in someone’s arms… His soul craved for it when he was gone. 

Hmm, maybe the doc was on to something.

But what really caught his attention was queerplatonic relationships: a type of relationship, most commonly non-romantic, where there is an intense emotional connection that goes beyond a traditional friendship.

Well, damn, that was him and Buck to a tee. Buck, whose attention he sought out, whose comfort he craved (even more so than Shannon, truly), who had wormed his way into the fabric of Eddie’s life to the point that he felt secure in leaving Christopher to in the event of his death.

And Buck, whom Christopher had attached himself to like a leech moreso than any other partner Eddie has had.

But was what he felt for Buck considered romantic? True, Eddie had craved to press his lips against Buck’s after the tsunami, and the lightning, but was that inherently romantic? Who could say. For right now though, queerplatonic partners had a nice ring to it. He would ask Frank at their next session.

—♠—

Then Tommy flew into the picture and Buck was suddenly bisexual and what Eddie had wanted to label their relationship all went up in smoke.

“What Buck feels does not negate what you do.” Frank’s advice rolled around his head for days. “And you don't know what he truly feels until you ask.”

Eddie truly couldn't blame the guy. Eddie wasn't sure what his attraction level was yet, having settled on calling himself merely queer for now and quite possibly never having a specific answer was quite alright with him, but he had to admit that Tommy was an Adonis of a guy. The envy of straight and queer men alike, for their respective reasons. And Tommy was the epitome of cool. Flying his new friends to Vegas in a helicopter? Strong, intelligent, and witty? He understood the baggage Eddie carried of misogyny and the military. His arms were big enough to envelop anyone, making them feel absolutely safe and secure.

Eddie hadn't felt that way with another person since Buck.

Oh, shit.

—♠—

During a frantic phone call during a break in the activity of Eddie's work day, Frank said, “Eddie, yes, it is okay to feel like this with more than one person. You’re friends with more than one person, right? And we all have different needs that can't always be met by the same person.”

—♠—

Eddie’s stomach was in knots. He made uncharacteristic mistakes on calls to the point where Hen decided to body-check him out of the way while looking after a patient and it was obvious Buck noticed. Of course Buck noticed. And Tommy too, as Eddie fiddled with his wine glass the next time the trio had gathered at Tommy’s to watch a fight on ESPN.

“Spill it,” Tommy softly demanded, reaching over to rescue the fragile glass from his fingers.

“Yeah, you’ve been off," Buck agreed. His lips turned down in a worried frown. "Is it us? We have both been extra careful not to make you uncomfortable—”

Eddie groaned. “Buck, no. It definitely is not you guys. Well, it is, but not the way you’re thinking.”

“You can tell us anything, you know. This is all a whirlwind to us too,” Tommy assured and Eddie just yearned.

That's what it was. It all finally clicked in his brain. Eddie was yearning. He already had Buck and knew he always would, but he yearned for more. Tommy made Buck so happy in a way Eddie could not. And while that didn't truly matter to him, he was developing the feeling of being the outsider looking in.

“Eddie?” Buck urged so carefully, so softly, like he was terrified.

“I want—” Eddie breathed, clearing the lump of anticipation and anxiety from his throat. “I yearn for… both of you. I… relish in your hugs and touches, and I want… more. I’ve been talking to Frank and I know I'm not bisexual in the traditional sense, and I might be somewhere on the asexual spectrum but I don't care. I just know deep in my bones that I want you. Both of you, in my life forever. To talk to, to cry and laugh with, to take care of my son with. To have and to hold and to kiss… but nothing sexual.”

“So like we’re already doing, but with more of this?” 

Eddie’s breath hitched as Tommy’s warm hand encircled his wrist. He gave a small tug and Eddie complied eagerly as the man wrapped his arms around him and tucked Eddie against his chest. His breath tickled his ear as he pressed chapped lips to his temple.

Eddie’s heart felt like it were to explode.

A small whine fell from Buck’s lips. “Don't leave me out!”

Eddie chuckled as he and Tommy opened opposite arms to make room for Buck, quickly bracketing the man into their shared embrace. “Aw yes. Lifetime achievement unlocked!”

“You’re a dork, Buck.”

“But you love it.”

“So this is good?” Tommy asked, locking eyes with Eddie and giving a soft but pointed look. Buck would roll with anything, they both knew, but Tommy had the experience to know he needed to step lightly with this. 

“Yes, it and you.” Eddie aimed to brush a kiss to Buck’s cheek but was surprised to find Buck's lips instead, the attacker giggling as they separated. Eddie then turned his head to kiss the underside of Tommy’s jaw, ensuring the older man didn’t feel left out either.

Eddie gave him a firm nod, and delighted when Tommy brushed their lips together for the first time. The kiss was feather light but it made Eddie see stars anyway.

Eddie didn't care what he was. He loved Buck and Tommy and they loved him back and that's all that mattered to him.

[peppermint-moss]

What about your favorite Warriors relationships? (Can be platonic, familial, romantic or otherwise)

i've actually had this ask half-answered in my drafts for like. literal years maybe LOL im so sorry anon i completely forgot about it But! in that amount of time some new books came out so i got new characters to add to the list at least!

(mild disclaimer I always kinda hesitate with questions like this because I think my memory of the books canon isn't great and i worry my perception is too coloured by whatever bits i come across in fanworks orz but thats ok canon character interactions are p sparse anyways lol)

mothpool! platonic is v sweet but romantic is soo good; ever since i saw the po3 au where trans moth is the three's parents instead of crow is WOAGH so cool!! Because Moth being the mother adds SO much to the canon narrative cause BAM lion is now related to tigerstar BAM jay's fear of water but also having a riverclan parent + he's a med cat like his two moms BAM holly's relationship with her apprentice willowshine could easily extend to unknowingly having a relationship Moth who's her mother n feeling triple betrayed!!!! +that time she snuck into riverclan camp!! n its fun how the two med cat moms ended up having both holly and jay wander down the med cat route

flipclaw and feather in greystripe’s vow was rlly makin me go 👀 👀 ‘is he .. y’know...’ fjsdklgh

platonic holly/fallen leaves is sweet (tho i don't actually remember that much from holly's novella despite her being my fav character lmao)

curlfeather and frostpaw familial angst is so juicy tasty yummy yummy

i think i read a post somewhere abt how its likely Silverstream named stormfur after her father crookedstar's old name which made me go waaaaaagh 🥺

im also a bit of a romantic crow/squirrel fan hehe tho platonic crow/squirrel is soooo soo good too. the banter. the disdain. the im going to fucking kill you if you die on me right now.

and recently in ivypool's heart the familial/platonic icewing+dovewing+ivypool+whistlepaw+rootspring group is kinda cute... 3 moms a child and a random guy lmao

omg mousefur and longtail. not rlly romantic to me, queerplatonic at most. they are funny little guys hanging out and talking abt life

AH WHISTLEPAW AND FROSTPAW WLW

[simonsrosebud]

heyy I'm absolutely in love with ur foxes next gen socmed au like they're so funny and chaotic and thus I have a foxes next gen au living in my head rent free cause of it😭😭😭 anyways I'd love to know more about ur ocs or even get more content of them😞😞 (picture me holding out a cup to u begging for more of ur foxes next gen socmed au)

brb i’m falling in love with u rn😭🫶🏼 i love them w all my heart check the bottom for a gift

As mentioned in the socmed au, Elliot has ADHD, dyslexia, and anxiety.

Abram helps Elliot’s ADHD a lot when they start living together freshman year of college because his patience is unrivaled. He doesn’t get bothered by Elliot losing track of his point mid-speech or excessive talking, or when he’s easily distracted.

When Elliot is unable to sit still or starts fiddling (aka picking at his nails) Abram will give him his hand to fiddle with instead (and it makes Abram’s chest flutter) and will actually limit him to 10 minutes when he gets hyper-focused on a task and says “one more minute” bc it’s never one more minute.

Amalia doesn’t always look indian to people (based off my google search that Muldani is an indian surname) and she gets pissed off when people ignorantly decide point it out. She likes jokingly pulling the brown skin card to the other fox kids as a power move: “Annie go grab the TV remote” “You grab it” “Is it because I’m brown? Are you being racist?”. She pulls it with Kevin too but he does not put up with it.

Annie is such a daddy’s girl that when Andrew babysits them as little girls she clings to him all day and follows him around with her little hand in his. It’s jarring for him the first time she does it.

Jace treats Elliot like a little brother and it’s very wholesome and needed. The Boyd’s only live 25 minutes from Andriel so Jace and Abram see a lot of Elliot and Blake once Andriel folds them into their lives.

It takes Blake a while to let go of her mother hen tendencies over Elliot bc of how they were raised.

It also takes Blake one single week living with them to realize that they are not only retired pro Exy athletes, but literal gold medalists. She does a deep dive on them on the internet and freaks out a bit when she reads the stuff about Neil’s past. Neil is very open with her about it and offers to have them housed somewhere else if she felt unsafe, but also that she arguably could not be more safe than with him and Andrew.

Jace has a peanut allergy. In 3rd grade he tried peanut butter at school bc good dammit he wanted to try it. It was very good but he immediately went over to the lunch aide to get his epipen. Matt picks him up from school and is in awe that no no, this was not an accident.

Due to being raised in Georgia (where Matt got drafted and Dan coached high school) and then South Carolina when Matt retired early, Jace & Abram have slight southern accents.

Naturally this makes Elliot shiver every time Abram calls him baby (or sugar in private).

When Sabrina is 19 her and Addie decide to take a break from their long distance queerplatonic relationship bc Addie didn’t know what she wanted, and Sabrina ends up dating Drew Barrymore’s daughter Olive for 6 months. Drew and Sabrina keep in contact amicably afterwards.

[beekeeperspicnic]

What a nice day to reconceptualise my entire game

Last night I reblogged this lovely post from @inkonice-main talking about Holmes and Watson's relationship as a great love story (whether romantic or platonic), and it's been clanging around in my brain ever since.

Just in case you stumbled across this post randomly, I'm currently making a cosy mystery Sherlock Holmes game set in Sussex, which has Holmes trying to put together a picnic for Watson. My plan is to write them in a close platonic friendship or queerplatonic partnership because that interpretation means a lot to me, but to keep it shipper friendly and leave the possibility open that they are a romantic couple.

The problem I've been toying over for the entire six months of development so far is WHY Holmes has decided to drop everything and make this ultimate picnic for Watson. What's his motivation, dah-ling?

And I've cycled through a few ideas:

He doesn't need a reason, elaborate theatre is how he shows affection. Perhaps true, but that doesn't give much of an emotional base for the game.

It's all sparked off by Watson writing and publishing the Creeping Man, the story with all the "The relations between us in those latter days were peculiar" content. But it never quite flowed for me. If Watson is happy with Holmes in Sussex, why is he writing so discontentedly? It also felt like telling-not-showing for players.

I thought perhaps it could be spurred on by Holmes having a nightmare where he's back on a case everything goes wrong. He realises that both he and Watson are in the twilight of their lives and if he doesn't tell Watson plainly how he feels, he may lose the chance. This is closer to working for me, but I think a dream being a character's primary motivation is silly and lazy, and this anxiety Holmes has doesn't seem reflected in the fact that they're living together happily. To the player it's obvious Watson already knows Holmes loves him, so there's no tension.

Then I read that post, and it all clicked. Because let's look at the Canon: it is a love story, but like most love stories of glorious intensity, things have not always run smoothly.

Holmes has withheld truths. He pretended to be dead for years. He constantly toys with his health and causes Watson pain and anxiety. All the paths Watson laid out for his life have been disrupted by his adoration of this brilliant but challenging man. Years of living together at this frantic, breakneck, head-over-heels pace seem to have taken their toll: Holmes suddenly wants to retreat from the world and take up his beekeeping, and Watson remarries and doesn't follow him, as he needs to live his own life. By His Last Bow, it seems they haven't seen each other for years.

"We heard of you as living the life of a hermit among your bees and your books in a small farm upon the South Downs," says Watson, suggesting he's never visited. But they reconnect, and thankfully the spark between them is still there. War is looming on the horizon, and both fear it may take their lives - "Stand with me here upon the terrace, for it may be the last quiet talk that we shall ever have," says Holmes.

That's where we leave them, looking out over a moonlit sea waiting for the dawn, exchanging words that they fear will be parting ones.

But the reader is left with the hope that perhaps they won't be parted again this time. War can't separate these two, surely? Nothing can.

So. That's where the picnic comes in, as a last coda in this great love story.

The War is over. Holmes and Watson have reunited. Perhaps Watson visits Holmes more often now, widowed once again. And Holmes realises that what both of them need now is to be together.

Except how does he say that, as someone who does not share his innermost thoughts easily?

The picnic represents the one chance that Holmes feels he has to say, I've treated you badly. I've made mistakes. But we can get through them, because we love each other. Let's not be parted ever again. Come and stay with me here.

The picnic isn't just a picnic.

It's a proposal.

So like, no pressure, players. :P

EDIT:

Just to clarify because I think my wording confused some folks - My plan is still to write them in a close platonic friendship or queerplatonic partnership and to keep it shipper friendly and leave the possibility open that they are a romantic couple.

The change is just that in my original storyline Watson had been living with Holmes for years, and now I'm playing with the idea of exploring the picnic being the moment when they commit to living together for the rest of their lives.

[crimeronan]

On the topic of How Do You Handle XYZ Comment, I've always wondered how you handle terrible responses on your toh takes. Like I know the toh fandom doesn't lack piss on the poor reading comprehension and they also really enjoy wildly out of touch takes, but I've never seen any comments on your princess luz stuff of that nature. I'm sure they must be there but maybe I'm too early? But anyway, how do you tend to deal with the "acktually shipping luz and Hunter is incest" and the "ur not a real lesbian because putting amity in a poly ship is lesbian erasure" and the "as a white person kinda sus you make the poc woman an empress" kind of responses? Ones that are technically not hate and maybe if you squint could be from people who aren't inherently trying to do bad but just lack the maturity needed to engage with the internet at large?

this ask made me giggle. honestly, i haven't received as much pushback as you might expect! way less pushback than i expected. in the princess AU, i've gotten a LOT more "this is actually too grotesque for me to stomach" comments than "this is problematic" comments, which is fine. horror-thriller isn't for everyone, those comments do not upset me.

i have had a Few run-ins with bad faith people, whom i mostly block. there's one prolific commenter in toh tumblr fandom who would repeatedly write angry essays on my humor meta posts -- essays that were all about how belos is too evil to be sympathetic and/or about how hunter is a soft gentle boy who shouldn't be jokingly referred to as evil. then they'd go "i can't help my active and conscious decision to type a bunch of rude fucking words and then my active and conscious decision to send those rude fucking words because i'm autistic :(((" around the fourth or fifth time this happened, i was fucking done with that nonsense and finally blocked them. shoulda done it after the first comment tbh!! no more autism exceptions.

as for the rest of it, my main management strategy is to simply.... preempt the bad faith comments?

i had a LOT more unpleasant and conflict-filled fandom experiences when i was in the raven cycle fandom. that was my first exposure to "you can't ship multi-gender polycules if anyone involved is gay" and "queerplatonic het relationships are just heteronormativity shipping that you're trying to get away with." having dealt with those takes before, i've found a few different ways to disarm bad faith readers before they get started.

first is to be super open and honest about my interests. i talk about what i find compelling in different relationships All The Damn Time. it's really hard for anyone to accuse me of only wanting hunter to fuck amity if they've seen, like.... anything i've said about hunter and amity.

same with hunter and luz. the only negative reactions i've really gotten to how they're written in the princess AU is like.... two people being squicked by camila thinking they're romantically involved. i REALLY expected more pushback on the touchyfeely bed sharing stuff, but from what i remember, there's never been Any....? not even from people who consider them siblings.

i expected a lot of pushback on how mean hunter and amity are to each other, since it's taken So much farther than the canon. but it turns out that there's a very large overlap between people who like dark horror AUs and people who like hunter and amity murdering each other. (in a fluffy fic i don't think this characterization would fly Nearly as easily.)

i find that being funny really disarms people, too. when you look at any of my toh meta posts that could be controversial, they're basically all funny. people are a lot more willing to listen to what you have to say if you make them laugh, and it's harder for them to get angry at you.

and then the last thing is that i think i'm in sort of a privileged position in toh fandom. i've written a lot of controversial subjects and relationships and characterizations.... but i've also written some WILDLY popular mainstream fic. and people who like the mainstream fic don't really want to beef with me about differing niche opinions, bc there's a level of respect there. which they might not have for a writer they don't like.

but anyway. when things Do happen, i almost always just block and move on. there are so many people here who get what i'm talking about that there's no need for me to try to convert people who don't, you know??

[comradeboyhalo]

Ok so none of these things actually canonically exist on this server, but it’s really interesting to speculate how the aro-coding of Bad’s characters is perceived by others and how that influences his relationships. I’m also assuming that he’s grey-ace as well and full disclaimer: I’m aroace, so I really can’t speak about the experience of arospecs, just my own perception of romance.

C!Skephalo was never confirmed as romantic by c!Bad, ever. But since the other players assumed they were in an already-existing relationship, they were comfortable defining them as a couple and therefore only teased c!Bad about his relationship with c!Skeppy. c!Sapnap never cared to confirm their relationship, they were just his dads. c!Puffy’s relationship counseling assumed they were a couple going through harsh times. The rest of the server just saw them as a married couple. They never faced any serious pressure to label their relationship. c!Bad’s aromanticism was allowed to exist on the DSMP because he was assumed to be operating as an allo person, when, in reality, c!Skephalo’s relationship is not easily defined.

Q!4halo differs in the sense that they weren’t an existing relationship, but one that developed slowly in everyone’s sight. And, because of that, q!Bad is much more pressured to define whether or not his feelings are romantic. q!Baghera wants a yes/no to preserve the trio’s friendship. q!Forever wants an answer because he’s already struggled with love in the past and doesn’t want to be confused. Even others (q!Cellbit, Richarlyson, Dapper) are waiting for an eventual romantic confirmation. But here’s the thing: just like c!Bad, that romantic confirmation could never happen, because it doesn’t need to happen for him. q!Bad doesn’t want q!Forever in another relationship. He likes when q!Forever to be equally possessive of him. He wants to live and share a family with q!Forever. None of that needs to be explicitly romantic, because giving q!Forever such special treatment is enough. I don’t want to assume q!Bad is similar to my own views on aromanticism, but, to me, there’s not much of a difference between a committed romantic relationship to a committed platonic relationship. If you know that I love you with all my heart…isn’t that enough? Why do we need to be defined?

The reason why c!Skephalo works is that c!Skeppy is content to stay in this undefined relationship. He doesn’t seem to want anything from c!Bad except for 100% commitment/exclusivity, which c!Bad follows for the most part (cough discount skeppy cough). To c!Skeppy, the fact that they will kill and die for each other is enough, and he will equally deny assumptions from others that they’re romantically involved. Honestly, c!Skeppy could also be read as arospec in that sense.

I believe that q!4halo could work out with proper communication and, of course, if q!Forever reciprocates any strong feelings for q!Bad. However, they need to get past the roadblock that q!Bad will likely never define their relationship from his end. And if that’s not enough for q!Forever, who had gotten out of a messy crush and past breakup, then I completely understand. (And all this is without taking into account the giant blue elephant in the room which is a lot…) But either way, I think q!4halo already have such a strong friendship, that even if any romantic inkling dies out, they will stay in a queerplatonic/quasi-queerplatonic relationship.

Sidenote: Personally I see both c!Bad and q!Bad as gay/bi aroace-spec. I think shipping and interpreting his actions as romantic is completely on the table. I just don’t think that in canon he will ever come to that conclusion himself explicitly.

[olives-and-sunshine]

"Codependence" - Malcolm x GN!Reader

Summary: People say that codependency and needing someone is unhealthy, but what if it's mutual? Malcolm reflects on your relationship

Word Count: 508

Content and Warnings: No reader descriptions, 2nd person, talk of (mutual) codependence, talk of how codependency can be unhealthy (not in this case), could be read as queerplatonic, romantic, or ambiguous, let me know if I missed something!

A/N: elliot posting? it's a miracle! (this sat in my drafts for like 6 months lol)

Was it healthy? Who knows. Malcolm definitely didn't, nor did he really care. Because when he was holding you, or talking to you, or even just sitting in the same room as you, it calmed everything a bit. It silenced everything a little. While you were there, the voices were a little quieter. The need for a distraction was lessened, because you just being there distracted him. You took up all his thoughts till there was nothing else. Sometimes it was that way even when you weren't there. All he could think about was seeing you again and hearing about your day. Or it was seeing something that reminded him of you. You carved a space in his mind for yourself, similar to Martin, but in this case, it was welcome. Martin took apart his heart piece by piece, manipulating his way in, forcing Malcolm to care. But you just took his heart. Easily. And although he tried to make himself be bothered that he let someone close, to care about the fact that he let someone close enough that they could get hurt, but he couldn't. He didn't want you to get hurt, not when he cared about you so much, but when you held his hand, or smiled or laughed, every single thought of pushing you away disappeared.

He knew about codependency. He had studied it to graduate, after all. He knew all the signs, all the behaviors, all the different types. Depending on someone else to regulate your emotions. Using them to erase everything. Being willing to give away everything and let it all dissolve into nothing for the chance to stay by someone's side. Having the only things you want being what they want. Not wanting to leave them, to spend every second by their side. To want to crawl into their skin to just stay with them. To be close to them. To be one with them. He knew how harmful it could be. He knew how much it hurt when the other person didn't feel it too, when the codependency was one-sided. Or when it just turned abusive, or if one person or both people were unhealthy. How it could bring both people down.

But that wasn't the case with you. Because all you wanted was to be with him too. He knew that everything else dissolved for you when you saw him. You've said it before. That you'll never leave, and all you want is for him to let you stay, to just be by his side. How could he refuse? How could he refuse when all the negative thoughts, self-doubt, and fear of himself were gone? When that is all he wanted too?

Maybe, since you felt it too, it was ok. Sure it wasn't healthy, you could both see that, but maybe it didn't have to change. Maybe you could just leave things the way they are. Maybe infatuation wasn't so bad when it was equal. Maybe, just maybe, it was okay to be addicted to each other, together.

[sillybayo]

Heavy, Like Rainclouds

(Originally posted on AO3 on 12/16/23. You can also read this on fanfiction.net)

A queerplatonic narumitsu/wrightworth fic with confessions, coming out, and fluff. Miles invites a familiar friend to dinner, although once Phoenix is about to leave, something stings him in his heart, and he can't let him go just yet.

~~~

Shades of orange and purple brushed the sky, painting dusk. The clouds added a gray tint, suggesting that rain will fall.

Phoenix and Miles had a warm dinner in the latters home. He invited him over after not seeing him for a good while. They chatted and laughed over roast and mashed potatoes for what felt like hours. A meal always tastes sweeter with company, one once said. They talked about past memories, shows that were airing right now, and strange things Gumshoe did during cases.

Miles always found Phoenix's presence comforting. As if he could be himself in peace, as if every single part of him was understood and cared for. He liked Phoenix's voice, his smile, his laugh, and how unbelievably smart yet silly he is. He was warmth unlike anyone else would describe. 'Butterflies in their stomach', 'Unending thoughts'...just what was that like, Miles wondered for months once it came to him.

Once he was finished with his meal, Phoenix stated that he work back in his office to take care of. He put away his dish and took his coat off the hanger, sliding it upon himself, and looking for an extra umbrella he can borrow from Miles, in case he doesn't beat the rain on the way back home. A part of Miles wanted him to stay, just a little longer. He knows how important Phoenix's career is, but a little selfish voice inside him told him to keep him here.

"I'm sure I have a spare in my closet, one moment please." Miles states. He shakes the voice away, it's an improper way of thinking after all. But he knows that the umbrella is the next step of his departure. That small thought clung to him as he went down the hallway to his bedroom.

Phoenix waited patiently, and after two minutes or so, Miles returned with a sleek black umbrella.

"Thanks! I'll give it back as soon as possible!" there was a bit of rush in Phoenix' words, stirring Miles' heart.

"There's no need. An umbrella in your car will always prove useful. I already have a third one anyway." Miles assures him.

"Right!" Phoenix slips on his shoes. That's the third step.

"Always make sure to drive slowly on slick roads." he lectured with haste in his words.

"Of course of course!" his hand landed on the doorknob. The fourth step.

Something told Miles to stall more. "Tell Maya to iron her clothes!"

Phoenix giggled. "I will, I will." the door let out a dreadful creak. "Well, see you! I'll call when I get there."

And he placed his foot out the doorstep.

"Wait!"

Phoenix turned his head to him, raising both his eyebrows, surprised to hear something so desperate from the usually composed and repressed Miles. The face he turned to see was flushed, shocked that he let something slip so easily.

The evening wind blew into the house from the cracked door. A chill prickled them both. That, and the ticking clock, filled the room with lonely sounds.

Phoenix decided to make the air friendly again. "Did..you need something?" it's not like Miles to have a sudden outburst, unless something was really wrong. He faced him fully, ready to hear the worst.

Miles blinked several times and adjusted himself into a proper posture. He cleared his throat and hoped, no, prayed, that what he says won't come out with a stutter or a quiver.

"I…wanted to tell you something. It has been on my mind for far too long."

"Oh?" curiosity mixed with concern overwhelmed Phoenix. What could be so important that he just has to stay today, right now, no matter what?

Miles adjusted his glasses and took some quiet deep breaths. "Sit with me.." he walked over and plopped down on the plush yet firm couch. "Before I worry you any further, this isn't anything depressing. It's just something I must confess."

He closed the door and sat beside Miles, relieved now thanks to his reassurance. Though, now the curiosity only continues to drive him mad!

"What I must tell you tonight is...is that you make me feel as if I'm at home, Wright."

Now his face flushed. "A-aren't we on a first name basis now?"

"Don't change the subject!"

"Sorry, sorry." Phoenix relaxed. "Continue."

"Thank you," Miles huffed, and he went through each and every one of his words slowly, and picked them carefully. "I'm not sure if my words can do justice. When others explain…love, in a romantic sense, they describe it as their heart racing, their stomach churning, sweats, unable to stop thinking about their lover, and so on. There's less extreme 'symptoms', yes, and it's not the same experience for everyone. I am aware that this is a complex feeling that varies from person to person…but as for me, I don't think what I feel for you, Phoenix, can be described to be on the same level as 'romantic'."

His company listened to his confession and took every word in. It all felt so joyful to hear, but also, he felt as though he needed to hear more. "Go on.." Phoenix replied patiently.

Miles nodded. "It feels like something full in my heart, as if it cries for you. And that you'll be there to soothe those tears, and put it to rest..." the more he released, the warmer his face became. Miles fidgeted, and kept his eyes on the coffee table the entire time. Looking at Phoenix right now could kill him.

"I…still need to do research on the specific terms and types of attraction, but I am definitely somewhere on the 'aromantic' and 'asexual' spectrum. I always knew I was queer in some form…I just never knew how." Miles explained further, feeling more and more self conscious as he went on. He had no problem with his identity, but saying those words out loud to someone, even someone as accepting as Phoenix, felt…alien to him. "You don't need to accept any part of this, I completely understand. I just felt that it was necessary to tell you this after so long."

"No no, I understand!" Phoenix smiled. "Well, not all of it. Definitely tell me more once you learn the more specific parts." that little bit of confusion got a little "Hah!" out of Miles. He appreciates the honesty. "But, I relate to an extent. I love you too! But, erm, romantically. Sorry. But like I said, I relate to an extent."

"How so?" his smile from laughing still painted his face.

"I'm not interested in anyone sexually, and I don't want to do—uhm—'certain acts'—either. It always scared me…"

"Oh thank goodness." Miles sighed with relief. "I was worried that we would have an awkward conversation over such topics."

"Same here!" Phoenix giggled, but then he paused when he fully processed the 'conversation' part. His stomach turned into twists. "So, do you want something out of this?"

"What do you mean?"

"Like...do you want to date, or something like that?" Phoenix treaded carefully.

Miles pondered for a moment. "I say that we take it slow for now. We won't be friends, but we'll certainly be something…is that alright with you?"

He smiled in relief. "Yes, I would love that!" the thought of getting into another relationship just filled Phoenix with dread and fear. This is the perfect outcome, an easy way to back out whenever he gets scared. Though, he trusts Miles. He would never do something horrible to him, not ever.

"Soooo…" Phoenix continued. "What are your boundaries?"

"I still need to think about that as well…I've never thought about a relationship beyond how I feel about you."

"I understand. Well, let's see…you already said that you aren't interested in anything sexual, and while it's not inherently so, you probably don't like excessive kissing either…" he thought out loud, and continued to do so silently for the next few beats. At last, he smiled slyly, and then scooted closer. "Do you likeeee cuddling?"

Miles couldn't help but to freeze and blush. "I-I'm not against it..."

"You have to be honest here, Miles, I don't want to base my actions off of a 'maybe'. Give it to me straight, please."

"Then yes," he admitted. "I want you to hold me as close as you can."

And so Phoenix leaned into Miles' space, and wrapped his arms behind his neck. He slid closer and closer, until their torsos were touching, and Miles had to lay down on the cushions. He replied to his movements and held him, making his hands hold each other behind Phoenix's back. Rain could be heard pouring outdoors.

"Oh, it slipped my mind! You have work to complete! You need to get going, I'm so terribly sorry for keeping you here." Miles started to sit back up, until Phoenix held onto him tighter, weighing him.

"No, there's always tomorrow..." he pressed a kiss onto the bottom of his chin, which made this partner gasp quietly. "I want to stay here, just a little longer."

"I-if you say so..." Miles said, failing to suppress his embarrassment and joy. "Thank you for listening to me, Phoenix."

"Anytime. Just let me know if you need anything else, please."

[thisvegetabledoesntfallinlove]

Isn't Ike gay coded tho?

you've activated my trap card, I could talk about Ike's queer coding for hours so TLDR for those who don't want to read a text wall about some jrpg character they don't know, Ike is queer-coded, and both gay and aro Ike are perfectly valid readings of the text.

Ike's pretty universally agreed to be queer-coded. most of his coding falls into the "complete lack of attraction (to women)" area. (for instance, completely rejecting Aimee's advances and being generally uncomfortable with her seeing him in that light, or his utter disinterest in admiring pretty ladies with Gatrie.) because its coding (ie subtext) and not canon (ie textually stated) there's a level of interpretation required. there's a number of queer men that fit the specific divergence from heteronormativity that is "not interested in relationships with women." mostly gay men and aspec men.

one can easily read his relationship with Soren, for instance, as being romantic, because of some tropes present that are usually reserved for romance only in fiction. (for instance, his ending where he runs away with Soren is usually cited as being the closest Ike gets to a fire emblem protagonist's typical marriage ending.) but a stated-platonic relationship that's more important and committed than friendships are usually depicted as also pretty easily maps onto aromantic experiences of anti-amatonormative friendships and queerplatonic relationships, which leads his dynamic with Soren to be an extra check on the aro-coding list as well. actually, his relationship with Soren has less romantic framing than his relationship with Elincia, (which has similar amounts of More Committed Than Friendships (are usually depicted as) as well as multiple instances of characters commenting on its romantic subtext (shinon "you fell in love with a pretty little princess" and Ranulf "oh what a romantic atmosphere") which Ike doesn't respond to, and doesn't clarify on.) despite this, Ike and Elincia are pretty widely regarded as textually platonic, since they never do anything expressly romantic like kiss or confess attraction or get married or something, and if it was meant to be romantic they would've because there wouldn't have been any reason to encode a M/F romance. in my opinion, his relationship with Elincia kind of sets a bar for how committed, close and romance-adjacent his platonic relationships get, and none of his relationships with men really exceed that besides maybe Soren, who he's closer to but not more romantically framed than.

all in all, his coding leans heavily into the "confirmed bachelor" kind of queer, without giving much clarification on his attraction or lack thereof to men. what's important is that he's not interested in women romantically. so he's definitely queer-coded, but not down to a specific label. just a general vibe that gay and aromantic men share. both readings are supported by the texts, both groups have been known to relate to and project upon him, and there's room for both interpretations in fandom spaces.

[aeroargonic]

Hi! I hope you’re doing well!

I have a question for you. After the events of “The Mind is Not a Vessel to be Filled”, how do you think Skylor and Neuro made up after the betrayal? Since the next time we see them, they’re great friends? Was there any awkward conversations? Did Neuro hold a grudge for a bit? Did Skylor lose sleep from the guilt of having thrown everyone under the bus?

Sorry I just love the friendship dynamic between Skylor and Neuro and need more interactions and them working out issues.

Also I love your writings!

Hey! Glad to hear that my first Ninjago fic in a long time is still out there inspiring people and giving them a nice story to read! The Neuro and Skylor friendship means so much to me. I headcanon Neuro as having grown up in a very similar situation to Skylor: his father was missing and his mother was quite neglectful, so he understands her hardships and pains and tat kind of turmoil an upbringing like that brings. Their relationship is heavily based on a mutual respect and understanding for each other, knowing how each of their minds works and what makes them different from other people. Skylor needs touch, and Neuro indulges her. Neuro needs quiet, and Skylor gives that to him. To me, they are the queerplatonic relationship of all time.

Honestly, I could fill a whole Tumblr post with ramblings about Neuro and his dynamics with other Ninjago characters but I don't think anybody wants to hear that lmao.

I think the aftermath of the Tournament wasn't super easy on them, definitely the rockiest part in their bond. Neuro probably wasn't as forgiving as Kai was, not that I think anyone blames him. But I don't think he was as mad at Skylor believed him to be. Once he got to understand who the real Skylor was, and not just the persona she put on for the Tournament, a lot of pieces clicked into place for him. It didn't excuse her actions, but Neuro realized why she made the decisions she did and that helped him forgive her.

Neuro in the show is pretty wishy-washy and I think a lot of people forget that. He moves to what serves him at the moment, what guarantees his survival, even if that means drastically jumping ship. I know everyone treats him like the straight man to a lot of the Elemental Masters, but that's what he wants you to think lmao. Neuro is also emotional and easily distressed when put in a tense or uncomfortable position; he struggles to maintain his crafted persona when in the heat of the moment. And in my AU, he definitely got the sense that after knowing Skylor was his soulmate, he couldn't survive without her and she couldn't survive without him. That led to them having some very tough and heavy conversations with each other, but much needed conversations indeed. Neuro, for a psychic, doesn't seem to do mind games and is pretty blunt. He speaks his mind. For Skylor, it probably felt pretty good to finally drop the pretense of pretending to be someone she's not and being able to be open and honest for once, feeling what she feels instead of what others want her to feel. I think that's why these two work so well together: they communicate. They let down their walls to be their true selves around each other. And it's why Neuro couldn't give two shits about Skylor dating Kai (aside from the obvious incompatible orientations lmao), because they've established boundaries and they respect them.

Wow, this got out of hand fast. I'm sorry, I just have so many thoughts about these two.

[northlight14]

The mystery grandchild

(Tw: mentions of homophobia and transphobia)

I am what my nana describes as “the mystery grandchild”.

The grandchild no one on her branch of the family knows about, aside from my dad

An inevitable consequence of living several hours away from each other

With the once in a blue moon visit

And the yearly 5 minute phone call to fill in the gaps.

With every character defining moment missed

And every word left unsaid

My life becomes a puzzle with large chunks missing.

I keep the pieces of me close to my chest

Think over each one with careful consideration before placing it before you

Keeping my punk music and smudged eyeliner tucked into my pocket

Scrubbing violently at my eyes before we meet.

I present to you my enjoyment of musicals,

But refrain from my interest in true crime.

And I smile as I tell you how I love to write

But don’t dare mention the messages of my work

And the passion for politics and the deep emotions that fuel it.

I give you enough puzzle pieces to fill the border of my puzzle

But never enough to give it any true meaning

I love you nana,

But you will never get to truly love me.

You claim I am a mystery, and oh how right you were!

You don’t even know my real name.

From being transmasc and genderqueer,

Aromantic and asexual,

Trixic oriented and ambiamourous,

I’m queer in ways they haven’t even invented yet!

A walking pride flag

Colourful and loud and proud

Both to those I trust and to passers by on the street who see my pins.

Pins that you, along with my labels, will never get to see.

Instead I keep them locked away, hidden and out of sight

On the top shelf too high for you to reach

I protect it from you and your scorn.

I rationalise it, I hear so little from you as it is

You not knowing doesn’t make much of a difference

So I’ll keep cringing at a name that now sounds alien

And smirk to myself as you ask if I have a boyfriend

I’d rather do that than become nothing but family gossip.

And the small “oh” you let out at the brief mention of lgbt rights

And yours, and other family members complaints when my aunt came out as a trans woman

Solidified that choice.

You want to know me before you go

But I’m sorry, I do not trust you with who I am

Little effort has been made on either side

And it’s something I don’t fault you for.

But when people ask me how I could consider cutting someone off so easily

I have to ask

Is it really cutting someone off

When you never truly knew each other in the first place?

——

Definitions:

Trans masc- someone who is afab but gender aligns with masculinity

Genderqueer- someone who’s gender doesn’t conform with the typical gender binary (can be seen as another term for non-binary)

Aromantic- doesn’t experience romantic attraction

Asexual- doesn’t experience sexual attraction

Oriented aro/ace- an aromantic and asexual person who still feels other types of attraction (i.e aesthetic or queerplatonic) strong and often enough for it to have its own label

Trixic- a non-binary person who likes women/non men

Ambiamourous- is comfortable being in a monogamous or polyamorous relationship

——

Thank you for reading!

Reblogs >> likes

[angeltism]

119, 136, 30, Annnnnd 13! (for the ask game!)

13. Do you like having your hair played with?

If it's brushed, I adore it! If it's tangled, I absolutely despise it. Because my scalp is very sensitive, I easily get aggressive and irritable if it's tugged by tangles because something something sensory issues. I've even slammed my own hand against a table a few times while brushing it bc it's that bad. But if it's brushed properly, I love letting those I'm close to run their fingers through it or play with it or stuff like that, it feels a little more intimate (nsx.) as well because of how terrible my sensory issues can be sometimes so like. Letting people touch it is like. Wow! I really like you and feel comfortable enough with you! Wow!!

30. Do you ever want to get married?

Absolutely yes!! Whether it's to a romantic partner or a queerplatonic one (there's this post in the queerplatonic tag that makes me tear up because it's of someone getting married to their qpp and it's so fucking sweet) the idea of being able to spend the rest of my life with someone and hold a celebration for it is one of my life goals, even. Have I really lived if I have not become someone's loving wifeguy/husbandgirl. I don't even care about the specifics too much, whether there'd be a ceremony or not and all the details about it can be decided when it's closer to becoming a reality, but for now the idea of it is something I hold dear to me and giggle about every few months or so.

119. Favorite book?

Ack I'm gonna look so illiterate or something here because I reaaally don't read enough to have a favorite book... Sobs a million times. I could probably look at my bookcase and pick one but I don't wanna go check so erm

136. Do you sleep with the door open or closed?

Closed! It's become a habit ever since my cats started really messing stuff up in my room, but now I'm just used to it and I like the added darkness and privacy it provides.