#like think of a new story that makes me THINK of things to write

[loafysainz]

Hey I loved your stories with Lando and the twins being clingy:)

Do you think you could write something where Lando is streaming or getting filmed( like the 24 hour video with angry ginge) and the twins can’t leave him alone. Like they want to help with the workout and sit on his lap the whole time.

:)

NEW STREAMER | LN 4

lando norris!dad x fem!reader!mom

warn: fluffffffffff

anw theyre not twins Noah is (5) & Leo (3), Thank you so much for the req! I hope you like it!!! 🤍

Lando was mid-game, headset on, fingers quick on the controller as he and Max Fewtrell played yet another round of whatever game they were obsessed with that week. His stream chat was buzzing, the viewers thoroughly entertained by the usual banter between the two.

“Bro, you literally threw—” Max was saying, but before he could finish, the door behind Lando suddenly burst open with dramatic force.

BANG.

In came a blur of curly-haired chaos: Noah (5) and Leo (3), charging straight at him like tiny human missiles. Their tiny footsteps pattered against the floor, and before Lando could even turn around, two little missiles launched themselves at him.

“DADDYYYYY!”

Lando barely had time to react before they tackled him. “Oi, oi, what’s this? what are you two doing? It’s way past your bedtime.” he laughed, quickly muting his mic as the two little ones climbed onto his lap like they owned the place.

Noah pouted. “Not sleepy.”

Leo, the youngest one, rubbed his little fists over his eyes, betraying the fact that he was absolutely sleepy but fighting it like a true warrior. “I miss Mommy.” His voice wobbled slightly, and his big brown eyes were already glassy with unshed tears.

And just like that, Lando felt his heart squeeze.

Lando instantly softened. He didn’t even hesitate before pausing the game and wrapping both kids in his arms. “Oh, come here,” he murmured, setting his controller aside to properly hold them. He knew Y/N was off having her well-deserved girls’ trip, but apparently, bedtime was a struggle without her.

“You miss Mommy, huh?” he murmured, pressing kisses onto their soft little heads.

Both boys nodded, Noah sniffing as he clung to his dad’s hoodie. “Yeah. When’s mommy coming back?”

Lando rubbed soothing circles on their backs. “She’s having her girl’s trip. She’ll be back in a few days.”

Leo sniffled dramatically. “That’s so looooong.”

“Oi, don’t be dramatic,” Lando teased gently. “You guys have me! Isn’t that enough?”

Noah wrinkled his nose. “Mmm…”

Max burst into laughter on the other end of the call. “Oh my God, your own kid just humbled you.”

Lando sighed. “Alright, you wanna help me with the game?”

Noah nodded enthusiastically. Leo, already making himself at home on Lando’s lap, rested his cheek against his dad’s chest. “Wanna help,” he mumbled sleepily.

Lando grinned and handed them his spare controller, even though it wasn’t actually connected. “Alright, but we keep it chill.”

The next few minutes were absolute chaos. Noah kept pointing at things on the screen, bombarding Lando with rapid-fire questions. “What’s that? Who’s that guy? Why did you do that? Can I do that?”

Lando answered every single one patiently while simultaneously trying not to get eliminated in-game. Meanwhile, Leo was just pressing random buttons on his fake controller, babbling nonsense as if he was actually playing. Occasionally, he’d giggle in pure delight, making Lando’s heart melt on the spot.

Max, amused, decided to include chat. “Alright, boys, say hi to chats.”

Noah, ever the confident one, waved. “Hello, Chats!”

Leo, though, hesitated before tilting his head. “Umm… who we talking to? What they look like? I can’t see them daddy” His little voice, still holding onto that babyish lisp, made the words even more adorable.

Lando, Max, and literally everyone in chat laughing out loud.

Lando actually had to take a deep breath from laughing. “They’re… um, they’re just watching through the screen, buddy. They’re just like you.”

Leo frowned, like he was trying very hard to understand. Then, after a long moment, he nodded. “Okay. Hi, people in the screen!”

The chat exploded

“THE BABIES ARE HERE EVERYONE STAY CALM”

“Leo is literally the cutest thing ever”

“Noah asking 500 questions per second LMAO”

“Y/N better watch out, Lando violated the children's screen time.”

“They miss their mama :(((((”

Lando, still grinning, let them push random buttons as the game continued. It was chaotic, to say the least—Noah kept trying to actually play, while Leo just mashed buttons with all the confidence of a pro-gamer. Lando didn’t even care that they were losing horrendously; seeing them smile made it worth it.

But soon enough, it was obvious that tiredness was creeping in. Leo’s blinks were getting slower, and Noah, while still trying to act tough, was yawning every few minutes.

Lando glanced at the time. “Alright. One last round, then it’s bedtime.”

Noah groaned. “But—”

“No buts!” Lando cut in, ruffling his hair.

As the game went on, Noah continued to give commentary like a tiny sports analyst, and Leo just… slowly melted against Lando, his chubby cheek squished adorably against his dad’s chest.

Lando stood carefully, cradling Leo in one arm while holding Noah’s hand with the other. “Alright, chat, I gotta go be a dad now. Thanks for hanging out, and I’ll see you all next time.”

Max smirked. “Gotta keep Dad Lando’s rep as the best bedtime storyteller, huh?”

Lando grinned. “Exactly.”

By the time it ended, Lando was ready to sign off. He gave the camera a fond smile. “Thanks for hanging out—Noah, say bye.”

“Bye, people!”

Lando turned to Leo, who was now fully slumped against him, half-asleep. “Leo, say bye.”

Leo, eyes barely open, mumbled, “Bye, screen people.”

As Lando wrapped up the stream, the chat was already buzzing with questions.

“Awwwww Leo knocked out”

“Noah be like ‘one more game’ energy”

“GOODNIGHT BABIES”

“Where’s y/n?”

Before turning off the stream, Lando replied “Y/N’s having a girls' trip, so I’m on dad duty. And these two little spiderman need to sleep before I get in trouble!”

“Alright, bedtime, you little spiderman.”

Noah yawned. “Can we call mommy first?”

Lando smiled. “Of course, mate. Let’s go tuck in and give her a call.”

And with that, he carried his sleeping toddler and led his other sleepy one down the hall, heart full, and already excited to tell Y/N all about their little adventure.

Lando and Noah was quietly talking with Y/N in their shared bed, Leo stirred at the sound of their voices. Still half-asleep, he shuffled closer, rubbing his eyes.

“Mommy,” he mumbled, voice thick with sleep. “I talk to screen people.”

Lando chuckled softly, smoothing Leo’s curls. “Yeah, you did, buddy.”

Y/N’s voice came through the phone. “Did he really?”

Noah immediately jumped in. “Mommy, when are you coming home? I miss you.”

Leo pouted, now fully awake and climbing onto Lando’s chest. “Come home, mommy.”

Lando sighed dramatically, squeezing them both. “Yeah, when are you coming home? We’re suffering over here.”

Y/N just smiled on the screen, watching her boys pile up on Lando. “I’ll be home soon.”

Lando huffed, leaning his head back against the pillow. “Not soon enough.”

The boys continued to mumble sleepy protests, but eventually, exhaustion won over. One by one, they drifted off, little hands clutching Lando’s hoodie.

As he looked at Y/N on the screen, he sighed. “Seriously, though. I miss you.”

Y/N’s gaze softened. “I know.”

Lando groaned playfully, nuzzling his cheek against Leo’s soft curls. “Hurry up and come back already.”

She just smiled again. “Sleep, Lando.”

He yawned, wrapping his arms around the boys. “Fine. But only ‘cause I’m exhausted.”

And with that, he fell asleep, his family safely tucked around him, waiting for Y/N to come home.

END

[zyafics]

can you write about rafe x sarahs bestfriend and reader keeps trying to get with rafe and he rejects her until he finally agrees and teases her around Sarah making reader nervous .. if you find a story like this LMK

truly didn't expect to write today, but ended up doing... this. hope you like it!

SOMEONE NEW | Rafe Cameron

MASTERLIST (Drabble) | x Sarah's BSF!Female Reader .ᐟ

Content — best friend's brother, fluff, she falls first/he falls harder

Word Count — 1.1K

Song — Someone New by Hozier

“What gives?”

Rafe surprises you. Sitting on a barstool at the Tannyhill estate, you assumed when Rafe returned home, he would ignore you the way he had done all his life. For the past couple of years, you’ve harbored an embarrassing crush on him that amounted to nothing. Sure, you never outright confessed, but you assumed he knew.

He had to.

The way you always strike up a flimsy conversation during late nights in the kitchen from your sleepovers with Sarah. The way you would always try to convince Sarah to join him and his friends at parties—only to be rejected of an invitation. The way you would always search for him to fill your cup, or take you home, whenever you and the Camerons end up at the same function.

You never told him but the signs were there.

Yet, nothing happened.

After spending a summer in the Bahamas, you decided it was time to put yourself first. You changed the way you dressed, the way you style your hair, the way you put on your makeup. It wasn’t for him, it wasn’t to impress him—it was for you. A new version deserved a new update, a new way to love, and you’re pulling out all the stops.

Now, back in Kildare, you’ve resumed your presence at the Tannyhill estate. Sarah invited you over for a sleepover, but she’s currently out getting some of the snacks. Leaving you to your own device, in her house, with the return of her brother.

Whom you didn’t even realize came home.

It fucks with him.

Because he’s used to you, his little sister’s best friend, always gawking at him from across the room. Always fetching him a beer from the fridge, or blushing whenever he comes into your proximity. Neither of that has happened since your return and Rafe can’t lie and say the loss of attention hasn’t bruised his ego.

But it’s something else. Something magnetizing about the air around you. He doesn’t know if it’s the change in styles or the sudden wave of confidence you’re exuding, but it’s different, and it’s intriguing him like never before.

“What?” You ask, lips parting and releasing the chewed-up plastic straw you were sipping on. His gaze drops to the fullness of your wetted lips, the new shade of lipgloss making them appear more delicious than ever before. His heart slightly patters—what the fuck? He thinks to himself. What is going on with me?

“What’s going on with you?” He asks, and your brows pull together. They’re shaped, manicured, threaded, the way he likes his women. But what remains is that subtle dip between your brows, that boasts the look of innocence from your features, reminding him of the same naivety and shy-natured he always adored.

“What do you mean?” You say with a quiet laugh.

“You’re different,” he observes, his eyes tracing the openness of your clothes. You’re wearing a stylistic top, one revealing your navel, and a piercing on your belly button. When the fuck did you get that?

You tilt your head to the side, your doe-shaped eyes blinking at him with pure curiosity. “Is that a bad thing?”

“Sort of, yeah,” he admits. You shrink under this proclamation, shoulders tightening, your legs crossing on the barstool, revealing the pretty anklet on your feet, dangling, in a way that makes him imagine what they would look like over his shoulders.

You frown, jutting out your bottom lip, and looking to the floor. “I’m sorry,” you apologize quietly.

“Not—” He pulls back, trying to find the right words. “Not in a bad way. You’re not… you.”

You blink up at him, “Like what?”

You don’t look for me anymore, he concludes, but he finds it pathetic to say. Instead, he settles with: “You’re just different.”

You scrunch your nose at his words, the way they wrinkle, it’s so adorable, he wants to cherish that sight. Rafe finds the courage to ask, “And you’re quiet. You always wanted to talk to me; did some other asshole catch your attention in the Bahamas?”

“Why do you assume they’re an asshole?”

“Most men are,”

“You included?” You ask, tilting your chin to look at him in a sort of challenge.

“Yeah,” he admits after a long silence. “I’m the worst kind.”

It makes you laugh again. In that same carefree, airy laugh that comes with ease. Something about that simple sound unwinds his shoulders, and Rafe takes in the moment as if he can stretch it on for an eternity. Fuck, he thought. What is it?

“What’s so funny?” Rafe asks, his throat suddenly dry. He needs a glass of water, but it’ll be hell before he tries to move from this spot.

“Nothing,” you say with a soft smile, “Just… Self-awareness is always a good first step.”

“So you think I’m an asshole?” He asks, stepping closer. His leg knocks at your feet, causing you to shift your position in a way that accommodates him. You still do that, Rafe recognizes, you’re still making room for him.

Good.

You bobble your head in contemplation, “I don’t think it’s a lie,”

“I can be better,” Rafe declares.

“Sure,” you drawl, unconvinced.

“I’ll be better for you,”

The words came tumbling out without a second thought, and all the presence of air is stolen from your lungs. Your eyes widen into this impossible size, filled with such valiant shock, that you’ve never demonstrated before. He almost wishes he can take back his confession.

But Sarah returns, coming into the room to break the tense air.

“Leave her alone, Rafe,” Sarah snaps, dropping two plastic bags of snacks onto the kitchen island. “Don’t you have some whore to entertain?”

Rafe drops his jaw playfully. “Don’t call your best friend that.”

”I—“ Sarah reddens from the accusation, sliding her gaze apologetically to you, but you laugh it off, gently pushing Rafe’s shoulder, and forcing a gap between you.

He hates it.

“I know,” you answer, smiling at your best friend and shaking your head softly. “He’s being an asshole."

You cut a look over to Rafe with a knowing smile like you’re sharing an inside joke, before returning your attention to your best friend. Rafe had half a mind to grab your chin and force your focus back on him—the other Cameron. “Do you need help carrying anything?”

“Nope,” Sarah shakes her head, grabbing the bags with one hand and using her other one to grab yours. “Let’s go.”

You beam, radiating the same contagious joy as before, but with a new set of layers that Rafe wants to strip down and uncover. Sarah pushes him to the side and moves to the stairs, and as you’re dragged up the steps, you do something you’ve never done before.

You don’t look back.

And in that moment, he realizes, fuck, he might’ve liked you more than he was willing to admit.

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[fucking-brains-out]

Is anyone going to contribute? no? ok imma do it myself  (also I changed Danny names in this since I think that his name has to be more Arabic)  Warning 1000 words 

bad translator of arabic

Danny thought that his life couldn't get more complicated but no, apparently being a half ghost means your afterlife is also weird, he had to be reincarnated into a cult involving corrupted ectoplasm, sure why not and to make it more weird he was born a girl and first born of the daughter of the leader and his Grandfather Ra  

Dalia Al-Guhl is his name here but secretly he calls himself Danyal (he liked more than Daniel to be honest) 

Even in his new life he still has his ghost powers but because of the corrupted ectoplasm is making him sick, he was going to be scarified if it were not from his mother who intervein in, now he is head healer of the league he is known as the Shadow healer (bear with me ok?)  the only good thing about of the league is his baby brother, his Akhi, his Najam, Damian  

Ever since he was a baby Danny has taken care of him, when his mother was in a mission or simply to watch him, he tells him the story of his old life, he told him about stories of his father that his mother told him too, when he was sick Damian make an effort in visit him and when he was better he would sneak Damian in his hidden space where he would watch the stars (Talia knew about the hidden space but wouldnt tell his father about it her dear Dalia had already too much in her place) he would bring him there with him and tell him about the stars he would call him his Polaris and Damian would call him Ursa since he was his big brother   

(“Why am I Polaris?”  

“Because you're my little brother” 

“I'm not little” 

“Yes you are look how tall you are”  

“Tt” 

“Hehe”) 

He would train with his mother when he wasn't sick, Talia despite the circumstances is a good mother, she always looked at him in a way that he knows is a face of proud parent (and if that didn't make him miss his mom) he has tea with her and trains with her, when he is sick he comes to visit him and take care of him (since one time an traitor tried to poison him, good thing he realized and his mother took care of them) sometimes she takes him to minor missions   (“Why do you always help me mother? I know there's a reason for that” 

He sees her pause  

Because my dear Dalia, you and I aren't so different”)  

He can't say the same thing of his grandfather, it makes seem Vlad like a minor thing, he is the fruitloop of fruitloops, he hates his grandfather so much but what he can do? Nothing even if his mother interferes, he has the final saying which sucks because his grandfather can be the most sexist motherfucker ever and a fucking asshole (it doesn't help he is a fucking immortal, when he gets all his strength back, he will brag his rusty ass into the Realms) he always make sure to get a challenge of sorts and if he doesn't make it he will judge him, he hates it, even if he admits he is very skilled that's not good enough for him  

He really misses Damian; he got really sick a time ago he couldn't even leave his bed, in that time his brother had gotten permission to go to their father Damian said he wouldnt go if he didn't come but grandfather prohibited, he was too weak and he still hadn't proved himself to the standards, mother also tried but it was final, he will not go, Damian was very upset but he consoled him that he could write to him anytime, he promised him that he would find a way to join him with his father. That was the last time he saw his brother, he writes to him to time to time but it's not the same and they know it, he is happy that Damian has adapted well to his father family (he also corrects him in certain things, no Damian just because you want to be Robin doesn't mean you have to duel Timothy, don't be mean to our brothers) , he misses him dearly he... he wishes to be there with him, his mother tells him to train more so grandfather approves him to go, but to be honest he thinks she tells him this because so he doesn't lose hope, but it has been 4 years he trying  to do more mission so grandfather can consider it  

Right now, he is on a mission, he has to dispose some traitors that are keeping the pits in restricted in an unknow location, grandfather says the levels of a Lazarus pits have been weird, so he sent him to kill the nuisances (even tho he knows that the pits makes him sick) mother would have go in his place but she was in another mission (how convenient isn't? Can you hear the sarcasm) anyways he is near the place where the pits are, the guards weren't that of an issue and it seem it as the leader wasn't here, but he still has to check the pits, he really hates them, he can't even filter them honestly- 

Time in 

He looks at shock at Clockwork, who he hasn't seen in so long 

“Danyal Al-Guh, Daniel Fenton, Danny Phantom, it's good to see you again” 

“Clocky” he jumps in his arms of the older ghost  

“Danyal, I have carried news, news that you won't like very much”   “What happened?” already in edge  

“There was an accident with princess Ellie, she was seriously hurt fortunate she was able to just retrieved to her core but there's a possibility of breaking” says somberly   The room got colder as frost came from his feet   “What can I do?”  

“You must carry Ellie core in your own, she will reform acondently but the consequences is that she will be reform as an human baby” he brings out his baby core, she has that light green color that she loves so much  

He, honestly expect it, its almost impossible to a ghost heal once they're retread in their cores and if they do reform it takes time  

“I accept” he touches his daughter core and it disappears from his hand, he feels her in his own, she is happy to see him again 

“Now Danyal, you must flee the League of Assassins their ectoplasm can damage Eli in this form, I suggest you go to your brother, be aware to explain the situation to Lady Gotham”  

He nods, he had already come to that conclusion 

“Can you deliver some letters? I have to explain to mother and Damian”  Clockwork nods “Of course”   

*Sometime later*  

He gives the letters to CW and banish, time begins to flow in normal again and flees the place, he goes to one of his hideouts and begins to prepare, he cuts his long hair and changes his clothes to a more comfortable ones, once he is done, he will go to Gotham 

“I'm coming home my Polaris”   

Prompt #12

Okay I have seen a few things of Damien and Danny being siblings but most of the time they are twins but that is not the angle that I’m currently going for since I do remember reading once when Danny was Damien’s older brother some time ago  and  I’m going to throw in some trance Danny misunderstandings with baby elly but a lot more interference from clockwork

so Danny was reborn as Danielle al Ghul and for some reason he was born female but he did not care since he could just simply proclaim himself trance when he’s older, he knows he’s a baby he still has all  his memories from his first life and his time as the ghost King but he sees this as a vacation  that will take an entire lifetime but a vacation non  the less one that finally will let him relax hopefully.

but unfortunately he was born to a family that worships a thing known as a Lazarus pit   a hole  of disgusting, old  ectoplasm that has become corrupted, not to mention he found out later he was born into a league of assassins, and these two things wouldn’t really be a problem since he still has his durability and enhanced senses so he could avoid getting killed, and  he thought  the ectoplasm  would not affect him but unfortunately due to how old and disgusting it was it was making him sick so from when he was a baby he was ill and obviously his grandfather saw this as a liability but his mother somehow convinced his grandfather that he might have inherited his biological father’s intelligence so he might be useful for something other than one day taking over the league of assassins, and that she would simply try and bear another child in order to get the perfect heir,

when Danny was 4 his mother gave birth to his little brother Damien who unlike him was not affected by the Lazarus water so was the perfect  heir in his grandfather’s eyes.

They both were still being trained Damien obviously because he was supposed to be the next heir of the league of assassins but Danny was being trained more in intelligence and healing but it does not mean his assassin training didn’t happen and to the surprise of everyone he was keeping up with his training  the only thing is his illness made it difficult for him to gain his grandfather’s approval since Danny would randomly faint or start coughing up blood.

Also despite constant attempts to keep Danny and Damien apart most of these attempts being done by  grandfather they had a good relationship and Danny had become the league of assassins head healer by the age of 12 and his grandfather, Ra's al Ghul could admit that Danny was not as useless as he once said but despite that Danny’s condition was getting worse, so much that by the time Damien was 10 and about to leave to go to his father Danny could not leave his bed.

okay so a time skip happens of 4 years and this is where I’m going to have to explain on how elly fits into the story, so something happens in elly  gets put into her core and while Danny is on a mission clockwork gets in touch with him again and explained the situation with elly and explains that she needs to be incubated a.k.a. he has to carry her like a normal human baby and Danny Seeing this is a chance to reunite with his daughter along with to get away from the league of assassins makes a plan and stages something that makes it look like he got (assaulted) when in reality all that happen is that he absorbed elly’s core,now for his plan to get away from the league of assassins

he writes a letter to Damien explaining the situation blaming their grandfather for the entire thing by stating that he had been getting worse and   grandfather had sent him on the mission regardless to a place that was honestly more dangerous than he could handle in his much weaker state and now things have happened ( he does not mention that he is pregnant technically since it would be too early to know that for a normal human)

Damien having lived for 4 years with his father and siblings had learned that most of the things the league of assassins did was not okay and receiving this letter from his brother that he had kept secret from his family because he honestly thought that his brother was safe and he did not see a point in telling them about Daniel, was absolutely furious how could grandfather do this, Daniel was a cherished member of the league of assassins she was the best healer, what would be the reason for grandfather to put him in such danger and then he would think Daniel had always been strong his fighting prowess was that on almost the same level as mother  the only reason it wasn’t better was because he was ill and to be honest if he was not ill he probably would’ve far surpassed grandfather,  Damien comes to the conclusion that grandfather was scared of Daniel and was purposely keeping him sick and putting him in dangerous situations just to keep him in line, Damien would not accept this and would immediately set up a meeting with his father so that they can rescue Daniel.

[maddascanbe-blog]

Nice to see you again Ma'am. This is the only redesign I'm going to both posting new for and not just update the original picture. Some of this was simple changes in style, and due to resizing issues Chloé's line art got really grainy. But more importantly I want to change Chloé in terms of my re-write, and I want to acknowledge my improvment.

Before we get to that lets talk small design changes. I likes my Anti-bug design originally but it waned on me over time. Recently I did a doodle of Chloé with the actual Ladybug miraculous (a hypothetical heroic) if you would. And translating that to Anti-bug made me much more satisfied with her.

I gave Queen Bee rounded stripes on her OG-redesign, but after looking at cannon again, she just is better suited for sharper shapes. So I changed her legs to something closer to her cannon design, the thigh-high boots feel much more Chloé.

Similar with Queen Wasp, just small changes, this time with her leg stripes just getting wider. I also decided to change her wings back to blue albeit a much darker color than Queen Bee's

Civilian Chloé and Zoé are the same, I already updated kid Zoé a bit for her page so I was able to just keep that asset and move it here.

Re-write. I've changed my opinion on Chloé a bit since I initially planned her re-write. Put simply, the only way I could think to redeem Chloé before was to make her an entirely different person.

Well not anymore. We're gonna rebuild her story from the ground up. First and foremost, Chloé is still a bully. She wants what she wants and doesn't care who gets hurt to help her get it. Now, she's not a full blown villain, because she doesn't need to be. But she does need to be selfish.

Chloé has a very short list of people she cares about. At the moment that includes Adrien, her Father, and Sabrina. Specifically she needs to care about Sabrina for the sake of her downfall and turn around, and later this list would include Ladybug, Chat Noir, and Zoé. She cares about them, and shows it, but everyone else isn't worth her time. This Chloé wouldn't insult Sabrina for not wanting to go through with a plot but she would still go and steal Marinette's diary.

But she also isn't oblivious, Chloé knows the class doesn't like her, he just doesn't care. She can still get what she wants, Marinette's seat, the Class Rep position, Ms. Bustier's favoritism, without the class liking her. Oh uh- small change her though, Chloé was bad at the student complaints and suggestions on day to day school stuff but I head cannon she was good at event organizing. As much of a pain as she was to work with, the school dances 'til now were spectacular. Mostly because I think Chloé needs to be good at something, and event planning is probable.

The first time she realizes her actions may have consequences (at least ones she cares about) is when she gets akumatized. She likes Ladybug, and Chat Noir if not as much. Her actions, her tantrum, not only didn't get her what she wanted but actively hurt two people she actually likes. This doesn't super change her behavior, but it does trigger the realization that she can't get everything she wants, and will in fact do things she doesnt want and cant fix in her wake.

The next is Lila showing up. Because she's spent her whole life around businessmen and politicians. She knows a liar when she sees one. But hey, if her class are idiots its not her business to educate them, its a little frustrating that Sabrina doesn't believe her. She just makes sure Adrien knows, and is surprised to know Marinette also already figured it out.

Then Zombizou happens, and everyone in the class are refusing to leave her alone and are protecting her. On one hand, no she doesn't want to be a zombie. But two, she thinks their idiots for sacrificing themselves over and over. They aren't friends, so why would they care? Then in a split second decision, Chloé gets between the zombies and the heroes. At this point she's acknowledged she's more a burden than a help, and that the heroes will be able to work better if she's out of their way. It's fine, they'll save her anyway. And they do.

This is where her character arc is actually going to start. Not with just with Bustier, but with her just gradually getting less antagonistic. She has her low moments of course. Since she hasn't exactly gotten better, just quieter the incident with the fire department causes Adrien to break off their friendship. And Lila successfully pulls Sabrina away from her. Now Chloé has no one.

And this is when she meets Pollen. Unintentional, but Chloé still loves Ladybug, so of course she wants to help. She doesn't give Pollen back at first, but she wasn't stupid enough to reveal her identity. Chloé is specifically not an idiot. She's actually one of the few who seems to regard Hawkmoth with as much fear as the heroes. She isn't expecting Marinette to turn down the opportunity and for the first time, Chloé see's her mother the way everyone else does. Flighty and Vicious, and uncapable of loving anyone but herself. And at the same moment she realizes that's the direction she's going.

Chloé realizes she's got to change. And she'd going to have to do it alone. Ladybug can support her, but not carry her. Marinette still doesn't trust her has far as she can throw her, and Adrien has his own stuff to worry about.

Then Zoé happens.

[revelboo]

i don't really send in asks often because im much more of a lurker than an interactor, but i think its important that you know how much your work is appreciated. like im reading Everything you put out just because your work is that good and im engaged with characters i barely even Know. you've made me love characters i didn't even give a second glance to. ALSO THE MINI FIGURES. you make me crave them so bad. Everything Is Alright tugs so badly at my heart and i Eagerly await every time you update that one, it's so good and so long and definitely worthy if reread after reread

Thank you! I have a lot of fun writing these stories!

Everything Is Alright Pt 134

IDW Starscream x Reader, Soundwave x Reader, Megatron x Reader

• “You realize Starscream is likely to take you sparking our mate without warning poorly,” Megatron adds and Soundwave vents softly. Watching as Soundwave shifts over you and slides a hand under your middle to make you whimper a sleepy protest at being moved. Hates that the soft noise lifts through him. That he likes it. And then Soundwave is mass shifting back, head sagging forward as his hands tremble faintly cupping you. Needing energon. Your head sleepily lifts before you spot him and then just groan, pressing your face against Soundwave’s palm. ‘Always when I’m naked,’ you mutter. Laughing softly, Megatron ignores that you’re not happy to see him. Pretends that it doesn’t bother him. That even though this is his habsuite, he feels like the intruder as Soundwave fixes his plating to hide away his spike and Megatron reaches to nudge your head until you shoot him a sullen look.

• Swallowing a growl and surprised that he even has the urge to growl at Megatron, Soundwave doesn’t pull you away from Megatron’s reach as the warlord smirks at your attempts to slap at his servo. Lazily toying with you. And he knows the Seeker is likely to throw a tantrum as soon as he finds out, but he can’t even bring himself to care if he upsets Starscream after what the mech had done to him and you both. “What happened to not molesting me?” You ask, smacking Megatron when he uses a servo to roll you onto your back. Growling softly, Soundwave moves you away from the warlord and Megatron shoots him a knowing look, but relents.

• Scowling and desperately wanting a shower, you try to draw your legs up against yourself so everything isn’t just on display even if you can feel Soundwave’s slick between your thighs, too used to all three of them not caring about embarrassing you to even muster the energy to care yourself. Much anyway. And eventually, Megatron is probably going to want more than spark bonding from you. “I wonder which of you is going to tell Starscream you’re sparked. Or will you just let him figure it out on his own?” Megatron asks, grinning wickedly like your misery is the funniest thing ever. Sparked? That’s right. Paling, you remember Soundwave asking and you’d pretty much begged him to. Was that what that coaxing feeling was after you fully bonded with him? Star had done something like that when he’d sparked you now that you’re thinking of it. There had been a sense of a question there like when they’d bonded you fully. Like there was a choice before that coaxing pull. Both times you’d given in to that request without a thought. Why can’t any of them ask important things when you’re not a needy mess during sex? “Of course, I could tell him,” Megatron adds. Enjoying this far too much.

• “Don’t you dare,” you hiss, little face reddening and Megatron chuckles. Ferocious little thing even though you have no way to back up the unspoken threat in your voice. And that anger of yours sparks through him. Goes straight to his spike in a flush of need. Reminding him that even though he’s fully bonded to you and carrying your new spark, he’s yet to physically claim you. Smile faltering at that, he clears his vents in a loud huff. “You blurt it out to him and I’ll never forgive you.” Chin lifting, you glare at him and he can’t understand what it is about you that makes your pitiful little threat actually matter to him.

• Star. Not looking forward to his reaction to finding out you’re fully bonded and sparked again, even though he seemed resigned to it happening. It still feels like a betrayal. Shoulders hunching, you look pleadingly up at Soundwave. Because you have to be the one to tell him. Gently. “I need a shower. And I’d kill for coffee,” you whine, not about to have this conversation with Star while Soundwave’s excess trails down your thighs. Head tipping at you, Soundwave just stares, but it’s not like he has a clue what coffee even is. ‘The shower part I can help with,’ Megatron says, gesturing toward his desk and you register the plastic draped shape tucked in a corner there. ‘The Constructicons had a few ideas.’ Watching him curiously as he gets up and reaches to tug the plastic away, you just stare. It’s a dollhouse. A human sized dollhouse. “There’s a working shower?” Because nothing else matters beyond a shower and some semblance of privacy. “I could kiss you,” you add and he hesitates like you’d just said something weird. Offended him somehow. Aliens.

Previous

[allphatauri]

あの日、流した涙を忘れない - a retranslation

FOREWORD. The purpose of this retranslation is to not only fix mistranslations found in the original text, but also because I want people to know how Yuki writes. How he speaks. The Players’ Tribune launched in Japan in 2021. Yuki Tsunoda, Japan’s new up and coming Formula 1 star, was quickly announced to be one of the first athletes they’d cover. 

Originally published on March 25, 2021 (the Thursday preceding Tsunoda’s F1 debut on the 28th), the piece was later translated into English on May 6th, 2022 (the Friday preceding the 5th round of the 2022 season, Miami, on the 8th.). 

A blogpost by Daria Steigman describing the very essence of The Players’ Tribune included a rhetorical question that was very specific to me: “You know how nuance is often lost in translation?”. It was a question meant to suggest the opposite. The Players’ Tribune is committed to letting athletes tell their own stories, without catering to advertisers or having to be put through the words of reporters, an idea I adore: but eventually, as it globalized, and articles were no longer always default in English, there were articles you had to read through translation, if you didn’t know the original language. And for a long time I was okay with that. Eventually, though, I heard what a friend of mine, a native Chinese speaker, had to say about Zhou Guanyu’s article: that there was a certain desperation in his tone, an immensely evocative feeling, that just wasn’t portrayed in the English, in the title itself. It’s translated into “I Want You to Know This About Me”, but my friend said it’s more like “Things I Wished You Understood”. So I revisited Yuki’s article, this time not reading the English and Japanese separately but instead side by side: and I thought okay, yeah. There were mistranslations and lost nuance galore: I decided I would have a shot at translating it myself.

Here’s the original article in Japanese. // Here’s the official English translation. (I wish I could credit the original translator somehow. I’ve been poking around for a while, but so far I haven’t been able to find any names.) I’d like to thank Nestor for beta-ing this for me. There were a lot of things I wasn’t sure made sense in English, so he helped a lot in clarifying certain analogies and localizing tone.

TRANSLATOR'S NOTES. For the sake of this translation, I prioritized a direct translation over stylistic choice. The official translation has new paragraph breaks and localizes metaphors. The official translation is, in all honesty, much better written than Yuki’s rhetoric: he’d often explain things twice, and he speaks in a tone that pretty much spoils the story to come. I think that’s quite charming, so I tried to replicate his voice as-is, and thus it’s pretty much a sentence-to-sentence translation.  Notes for reference, seen in numbers throughout the text, can be found AT THE END / BOTTOM OF THE POST.

---

I won’t forget the tears I shed that day. 

I think that that would be the last time I’d ever cry from frustration [1]. 

4 years ago, I was still 16, and a student at the Suzuka Circuit Racing School. It was the final selection for Honda’s formula driver development program. If I got in, I’d be able to run in the domestic F4 next year, and if I failed… I planned to quit racing. 

Now, I stand at the gates of the stage that we call F1. Looking back on it, that was where my life split paths. A turning point. 

The final selection that year didn’t just include experienced drivers who had already ran in F4 previously, but also athletes who had come back from fighting overseas, and of course it was extremely uncertain if I would make it through. 

However, I’ve been karting and racing since I was 4 years old, and I had satisfactory results to my name. That same year, I was allowed a one-off seat and debuted in Formula racing to become the youngest to achieve a podium, and a maiden win in Super FJ’s final round, the All-Japan Master’s race. Even at the school, I had good results leading up to the final selection, and my points totaled for a fair fight for first or second overall. So I thought that as long as I didn’t make some huge mistake, I’d be able to claw into the top 2, and I had confidence I’d end up at the top in the end. 

I’m capable. If I can’t put out a good result here, or if I can’t entrance the judges with my driving, then I know how it all ends. So I had gone in telling myself that if I couldn’t get past this, I’d give up racing forever. Even if I failed, I’m sure there were other paths, like other development programs and driving outside of the Formulas, but I don’t like facing directions that weren’t my own. I decided that rather than half-assing something else, I would just lead a different life. 

However, the worst case scenario awaited me. Back then, my mentality was super weak, and out of all places for it to fail me, it decided it’d be at the final selection. I knew my body was stiff from my nerves from before the races. The very fingertips that gripped the steering were tense. This isn’t the usual me. So there I was, starting in that state, and I immediately did a false start… . I was given a penalty in which I ran slowly through the pit road and rejoined the track. At that point I was far behind the pack in the front, and it was like I was running alone. I felt so pathetic, and I felt nothing towards driving at all. As a result, the points from this race were essentially 0. An unmistakable 3rd, failing at the final selection. 

On the train home, I was so disappointed with myself that tears naturally began to flow. Ever since I started taking racing seriously, this kind of thing had never happened before. Though I was the youngest of the participants, I was confident I wouldn’t lose so it shook me when I did, and even if I try to envision the future I can’t see a thing. I remember clearly even now, how I was in such low spirits [2] that on that train home I didn’t even want to come home and see my parents. 

Despite it all, I had one glimmer of hope. Those were the words that the then-Honda F4 team principal had given to me. 

“You can’t race next year as a development driver for Honda. However, Honda has 4 cars in Formula 4. The remaining two seats, the ones that race for the Suzuka Racing School, might be able to go to you.”

That was because former F1 driver Nakajima Satoru (-san) had recommended [3] me. He was the principal of the school at the time, and had been watching us drive during the final selection at the chicane of the last corner. 

It was a version of myself that was given that penalty at the start and not even feeling up to race anymore, but I put my all into it as if to avoid any regret. I saw Nakajima Satoru (-san), standing at the final corner, past my visor. I didn’t want to show him careless driving. “It’s a despair-inducing position but I won’t give up, and I’ll continue running towards the pack in the front.” That’s what I thought. Then the path ahead seemed to clear.

In 2017, I entered F4, not as a development driver but from Suzuka Racing. Then, my overall yearly total ranking was an immediate third, and the next year of 2018 I was chosen as a development driver where I was crowned champion. 

It’s all because I had tasted failure at that final selection. [4]

I think the biggest change has been my mentality. Until I had a taste of that failure [4], I had good results, and I was kind of like, “oh, it’ll all go well in the end even if I don’t do anything”. Even that start I failed at the final selections– I had already known I wasn’t that good at starts, and I had lots of time to practice, but I didn’t. Somewhere in me I wanted to take the easy route, and believed in myself a little too much. On top of that, at the time, I was terrified of mistakes, and drove in a way that avoided them at all costs, so I was losing sight of ways I could improve. 

Having failed at the selection, a realization bloomed in me that I’m far from perfect, and that I had to get much, much faster. I figured it was important to stop fearing mistakes and just go forth and fail a ton, so that I find new things and learn from them. Because of this, when I came overseas, in the earlier parts of my F3 season two years ago and F2 season last year, even if I couldn’t get points the way I wanted to, I wasn’t pressed about it at all. If anything, I was certain in my process of making a ton of mistakes at the start to learn as much as possible from them. 

It’s famous that current IndyCar driver and former F1 driver Sato Takuma (-san) said “No attack, no chance” but I really think that that’s the truth. No matter what sport it is, you need to push yourself past your limits to discover what lies beyond that, and if you don’t even try, you’ll just stay where you are. So right now, even if I make mistakes or if my results are poor, as odd as it is, I don't feel like I’m struggling at all. Even if I make an error, how I take it is up to me. If I make a mistake, I want to confront its reason. When I remember that getting over that will help me get even faster, I’m less frustrated [1] and the feelings of wanting to get faster prevail: it helps me to always look myself in the eyes and stay positive.

With this opportunity to drive in F1, I realize once again how grateful I am to my parents. I loved to move around as a kid, so I was doing anything if it was considered a sport– swimming, soccer, mountain biking–and this is not a sport, but I was also playing piano. Now that I think about it, I think my father and mother were just letting me do everything I had an interest in. And, the reason I started karting was because of my father. He loved motorsports, and he was even doing gymkhana himself. One day, at a circuit he took me to, he let me drive a kart. That was the first. Actually, apparently I also tried out a pocket bike, but having done both I said “the kart is more fun”... I don’t really remember this myself, though. LOL [10]

But were there ever times when I didn’t like karting? A ton. [5]

For example, I was about seven years old. When I was playing video games at the karting track in some downtime, my father said something like “focus more on the race” and confiscated my game, and I was like “I don’t really want to do this anymore”. From there, my dad got stricter and stricter so that I would improve, and I got yelled at for a lot of things. Honestly, up until when I was about 15, I wasn’t thankful for my father at all, and there were even times I hated him. Talk about “THE rebellious phase”. I think I was right in the middle of it. 

In my studies, it wasn’t just my father that was strict but also my mother. She constantly told me to consider a future in which I wasn’t successful in motorsport and “go study”. My middle school didn’t have excused absences [6] so when the race was over I’d go home within that day and get ready for school, always go to school, be present in my classes, study and do [7] my exams, rinse and repeat. Honestly it was really tough, and I never liked it, but I continued to study pretty decently. 

Back then, I wasn’t able to really feel any gratitude towards my parents, but now I feel the total opposite. It’s only because they were strict on me, yelled at me, and taught me many things then, that the current me that exists now, I think. I’m really, truly thankful. 

I myself didn’t really think I could drive in F1 this quickly. Of all the drivers here right now, not even as a Japanese driver, but even including foreign ones, I’ve gotten here on the shortest route there is. 

When I was 7 years old, and I went to see F1 in reality at Fuji Speedway, drivers like Lewis Hamilton and Fernando Alonso were driving. At that time, it wasn’t adoration but instead a feeling like “one day, I want to race with drivers like these”, and those feelings don’t change even now. Hamilton is already a legendary person, and being able to drive alongside him is such an honor and something I still can’t believe, but once we're in the circuit, Hamilton and Alonso are all the same, just one driver. I think of them as an enemy. 

Those feelings don’t change, regardless of if they’re towards F1’s current fastest, my strongest rival [13] of Max Verstappen, or my teammate in my current team, Alphatauri, of Pierre Gasly. I want to hurry up and know how much I can keep up with Verstappen, and how much of a fight I can put up against him. Gasly was an athlete that was shining in Japan’s top series, Super Formula, when I was in F4 in Japan, so although a part of me wants to learn as much as I can from him, another part of me knows that given we’re in the same machinery, I’ll have to beat him one day, and I think he’s my number one rival. 

In the world of F1, what they want from you is “speed”. Even if you argue as much as you want that it’s not just “speed”, you’ll have impact as long as you have “speed”, and if you have “speed”, even if people pass you or you fall behind in the earlier parts of the race, you’re able to pick it up in the later half. However, it’s actually most difficult to show your “speed” when it matters most. My biggest strength is that “speed”, so I want to continue to absorb where I lack to build on top of that. 

Speaking of which, during this past break I said during an online interview that my goal is “to equal the record of 7 world championships” and came out a little grand, but I didn’t mean to imply that kind of attitude. [9] 

I haven’t even ran one race in F1, there’s no way I can say something like that. LOL. [11]

What I’m thinking right now, for my debut, is to first and foremost put out the maximum performance I have.And to get every extra point I can throughout the season. Like in F2, even if I’m promoted to F1 I’ll probably still make a lot of mistakes from the start to the middle of the season, but I want to make new discoveries and learn lots. At the press conference, I said that kind of general statement, but I got a question that was like “What is Tsunoda’s aspirations?” so I was like, “Maybe get 7 world championships like Lewis Hamilton?” and they used that as a big headline. To clarify, it’s more like my real intention is to focus on every small thing ahead of me, and if, as a result of all that piling up, my “aspirations” came true, I’d be pretty happy. 

Moving ahead, I wonder what lies ahead of me [14]. I want to improve my abilities, and grow to become a racer that represents the world of F1, and in doing that I’d feel a new kind of pressure and motivation, and what the fans expect from me might grow even bigger. 

That’s why I never want to forget the feeling of this year, in 2021, when I ride in F1 for the first time. I want to keep the feelings I have now, as a rookie, close to my chest, and from here on out fail as much as I want, learn a ton, and have fun. 

I don’t think I’ll ever shed tears like the ones I did four years ago, when I failed the final selection. I won’t forget the tears I shed that day. I wonder, though, if I’m to shed tears from now on, what kind of tears they’d be….

Realistically, maybe my first win? Getting to F1 is already really hard, but the road from here is only harsher. Winning is truly difficult, so what I shed from now on must not be “tears of frustration”, but “tears of happiness”.

[12]

----

TRANSLATOR'S NOTES. [1] Literally the first word was already giving me trouble: 悔しい is a really, really difficult word to translate into English. “Frustrated” is generally the go-to translation, but if ‘frustration’ is more of the anger that comes with the word ‘upset’, then 悔しさ is the sadness. That feeling of biting your lip and looking at the floor so you don’t cry. That feeling of misfortune, regret of failure. It’s a word that always felt a little sad to me. Frustrated feels a little angry to me. To me there is a bit of a cultural connotation to it as well: that balled fist of “frustration” feels like an English reaction, and the can’t-even-look-you-in-the-eye-ness of 悔しさ has a bottling up reflective of the culture the language is spoken in. I hope that made any sense LOL and I understand why the translator went with “disappointed with myself” instead. I used this translation the second time you see this word. [2] This word is often translated into “depressed”. In my opinion it’s worse than “becoming sad” but less severe than “depressed”. 

[3] Debated between endorsed and recommended, decided on recommended

[4] The word used for “failure” describes a temporary but deafening sort of defeat. The one that assumes it’s really difficult emotionally to get back up, but also assumes you will, anyway.

[5] okay so the structure of this sentence in japanese is actually really fun: it’s like “Times when I didn’t like karting… yeah there was a ton” so it’s structured as to raise the question, ‘oh, did Yuki ever not like karting?’ BUT he does this thing that he does a LOT where he accidentally spoils the result of that dramatic sentence in the first word. Like by starting with “But” or “however” he often ruins the dramatic effect that the rest of the sentence is supposed to imply. I initially didn’t translate it as a rhetorical question, but like this: But there were times when I didn’t like karting…. A lot of times. This is a more direct translation in the way he says it: but the translation I decided on, suggested by my beta reader and friend, Nestor, keeps the original feeling of Yuki’s speech. For the best possible non-rhetorical question translation I could think of, well, that was it. 

[6] 公欠扱い is when you’re absent for some special event like sporting and your absence isn’t counted, like you showed up. I think in most English speaking cultures this is often called an excused absence or a school exemption or . something of that sort

[7] the word he uses as the verb for ‘doing’ his tests/exams in school are actually the same ones he used going into the final race. It’s more like facing a big foe, to challenge something greater than you. Like he was squabbling up against the exam. Sword in hand. Gloves strapped on. Squared up. That kind of thing. 

[8] I think the official translation entirely mistranslates this sentence. The official translation interprets the first half of the sentence, “[That also applies to] the fastest in F1 yet, the greatest / strongest enemy, max verstappen, and also…” and applies the starting adjectives used to describe Max to describe Pierre also. Pierre actually has a whole ‘nother set of descriptors, roughly translating to “my current teammate for the team i’m in, Alphatauri”. The official translation says Yuki is calling Max and Pierre the fastest in F1, but that’s not really what he said imo. 

[9] It’s actually super vague what he’s saying in the original text: “I didn’t say that with that kind of intention (nuance).” But I think it’s an overconfidence / arrogance thing, since he knows where he is as a rookie, and he’s kind of making fun of himself for the bold claim here, retracting the statement. 

[10] a true LOL. an LMAO, if you will. An LMFAO, if you must. 

[11] the LOL you use when you’re trying to imply that you’re not being hostile . the LOL for when you’re trying to fill an awkwardly silent conversation.

[12]  The official translation is weird. YES, it is more nicely formatted. NO, it does not at all convey the actual emotion in his voice. There is a degree of certainty, in his confidence, in the emotion of his tears, not “I hope they will be”. Also my god he used the same “Here on” like 4 times in two sentences I was like PLEASE. PLEASE USE A DIFFERENT WORD but I think this is also very charming! 

[13] “Rival” is originally “enemy” here. Like deadass he calls Max Verstappen his biggest enemy. But don’t get me wrong: “enemy” has a negative, bad-blood sort of connotation, but Yuki says this like he’s a boss or a mob to defeat in a video game. Like he’s playing Dragon Quest, and Max is, well, the Dragonlord. His original use of “Enemy” over “Rival” only connotes a fighting spirit, and not something so opposing. 

[14] The real words Yuki uses here are “I wonder what kind of scenery I’ll start to see?” but since ‘scenery’ as a word in English can be interpreted literally, like traveling all around the world, I opted for ‘what lies ahead’, since that’s generally a more internal statement that retains the same meaning. 

＊I translated 母 and 父 to “mother” and “father” since those were technically formal. In my opinion “haha” and "chichi” are more formal than “okaasan” and  “otousan” even though there’s a -san. I think you can still replace them with “mom” and “dad” and it wouldn’t really lose much of anything. 

I’ve noticed some habits in his word choice, like how he often uses metaphors for walking / running, paths and doors. Physical places you’d walk on / through, you know. 

thank you so so much for reading up until this point, if you have! and even if you haven't, thanks for scrolling all the way down. <3

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Pluralistic is five

I'm on a 20+ city book tour for my new novel PICKS AND SHOVELS. Catch me in SEATTLE TONIGHT (Feb 19) for with DAN SAVAGE, and in TORONTO on SUNDAY (Feb 23) at Another Story Books. More tour dates here.

Five years and two weeks ago, I parted ways with Boing Boing, a website I co-own and wrote for virtually every day for 19 years ago. Two weeks later – five years ago from today – I started my own blog, Pluralistic, which is, therefore, half a decade old, as of today.

I've written an annual rumination on this most years since.

Here's the fourth anniversary post (on blogging as a way to organize thoughts for big, ambitious, synthetic works):

https://pluralistic.net/2024/02/20/fore/#synthesis

The third (on writing without analytics):

https://pluralistic.net/2023/02/19/drei-drei-drei/#now-we-are-three

The second (on "post own site, share everywhere," AKA "POSSE"):

https://pluralistic.net/2022/02/19/now-we-are-two/#two-much-posse

I wasn't sure what I would write about today, but I figured it out yesterday, in the car, driving to my book-launch event with Wil Wheaton at LA's Diesel Books (tonight's event is in Seattle, with Dan Savage):

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/cory-doctorow-with-dan-savage-picks-and-shovels-a-martin-hench-novel-tickets-1106741957989

I was listening to the always excellent Know Your Enemy podcast, where the hosts were interviewing Chris Hayes:

https://know-your-enemy-1682b684.simplecast.com/episodes/pay-attention-w-chris-hayes-OA3C8ZMp

The occasion was the publication of Hayes's new book, The Sirens' Call, about the way technology interacts with our attention:

https://sirenscallbook.com

The interview was fascinating, and steered clear of moral panic about computers rotting our brains (shades of Socrates' possibly apocryphal statements that reading, rather than memorizing, was destroying young peoples' critical faculties). Instead, Hayes talked about how empty it feels to read an algorithmic feed, how our attention gets caught up by it, sometimes for longer than we planned, and then afterward, we feel like our attention and time were poorly spent. He talked about how reflective experiences – like reading a book with his kid before school – are shattered by pocket-buzzes as news articles came in. And he talked about how satisfying it was to pay protracted attention to something important, and how hard that was.

Listening to Hayes's description, I realized two things: first, he was absolutely right, those are terrible things; and second, I barely experience them (though, when I do, it makes me feel awful). Both of these are intimately bound up with my blogging and social media habits.

15 years ago, I published "Writing in the Age of Distraction," an article about preserving your attention in a digital world so you could get writing done. We live in a very different world, but the advice still holds up:

https://www.locusmag.com/Features/2009/01/cory-doctorow-writing-in-age-of.html

In particular, I advised readers to turn off all their alerts. This is something I've done since before the smartphone era, tracking down the preferences that kept programs like AIM, Apple Mail and Google Reader from popping up an alert when a new item appeared. This is absolutely fundamental and should be non-negotiable. When I heard Hayes describe how his phone buzzes in his pocket whenever there is breaking news, I was actually shocked. Do people really allow their devices to interrupt them on a random reinforcement schedule? I mean, no wonder the internet makes people go crazy. I'm not a big believer in BF Skinner, but I think it's well established that any stimulus that occurs at random intervals is impossible to get used to, and shocks you anew every time it recurs.

Rather than letting myself get pocket-buzzed by the news, I have an RSS reader. You should use an RSS reader, seriously:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/10/16/keep-it-really-simple-stupid/#read-receipts-are-you-kidding-me-seriously-fuck-that-noise

I periodically check in with my reader to see what stories have been posted. The experience of choosing to look at the news is profoundly different from having the news blasted at you. I still don't always choose wisely – I'm as guilty of scrolling my phone when I could be doing something more ultimately satisfying as anyone else – but the affect of being in charge of when and how I consume current events is the opposite of the feeling of being at the beck-and-call of any fool headline writer who hits "publish."

This is even more important in the age of smartphones. Whenever you install an app, turn off its notifications. If you forget and an app pushes you an update ("Hi, this is the app you used to pay your parking meter that one time! We're having a 2% off sale on parking spots in a different city from the one you're in now and we wanted to make sure you stopped whatever you were doing and found out about it RIGHT NOW!") then turn off notifications for that app. Consider deleting it. Your phone should buzz when you're expecting a call, or an important message.

Note I said important message. I also turn off notifications for most of the apps I use that have a direct-messaging function. I check in with my group chats periodically, but I never get interrupted by friends across town or across the world posting photos of lunch or kvetching about the guy who farted next to them on the subway. I look at those chats when I'm taking a break, not when I'm trying to get stuff done. It's really nice to stay on top of your friends' lives without feeling low-grade resentment for how they interrupted your creative fog with a ganked Tiktok video of a zoomer making fun of a boomer for getting mad at a millennial for quoting Osama bin Laden. There's times when it makes sense to turn on group-chat notifications – like when you're on a group outing and trying to locate one another – but the rest of the time, turn it off.

Now, there are people I need to hear from urgently, who do get to buzz my pockets when something important comes up – people I'm working on a project with, say, or my wife and kid. But I also have all those people trained to send me emails unless it's urgent. You know the norm we have about calling someone out of the blue being kind of gross and rude? That's how you should feel about making someone's pocket buzz, unless it's important. Send those people emails.

I visit my email in between other tasks and clear out my inbox. If that sounds impossible, I have some suggestions for how to manage it:

https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2010/dec/21/keeping-email-address-secret-spambots

Tldr? Get you some mail rules:

add everyone you correspond with to an address book called "people I know"

filter emails from anyone in the "people I know" address book into a high priority inbox, which you just treat as your regular inbox

look at the unfiltered inbox (full of people you've never corresponded with) every day or two and reply to messages that need replying (and those people will thereafter be filtered into the "people I know" inbox)

filter any message containing the world "unsubscribe" into a folder called "mailing lists"

if you're subscribed to mailing lists that you feel you can't leave because it would be impolite, filter them into a folder called "mailing lists" unless the message contains your name (so you can reply promptly if someone mentions you on the list)

The point here is to manage your attention. You decide when you want to get non-urgent communications, and mail-app automation automatically flags the stuff that you are most likely to want to see. For extra credit: adopt a "suspense file" that lets you manage other peoples' emails to you:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/10/26/one-weird-trick/#todo

Now, let's talk about algorithmic feeds. Lots of phosphors have been spilled on this subject, and critics of The Algorithm have an unfortunately propensity to buy into the self aggrandizement of soi-dissant evil sorcerer tech bros who claim they can "hack your dopamine loops" by programming an algorithmic feed. I think this is bullshit. Mind-control rays are nonsense, whether they are being promoted by Rasputin or a repentant Prodigal Tech Bro:

https://conversationalist.org/2020/03/05/the-prodigal-techbro/

But I hate algorithmic feeds. To explain why, I should explain how much I love non-algorithmic feeds. I follow a lot of people on several social media services, and I almost never feel the need to look at trending topics, suggested posts, or anything resembling the "For You" feed. Sure, there's times when I want to turn on the ole social TV and see what's on – the digital equivalent of leaving the TV on in a hotel room while I unpack and iron my suit – but those times are rare.

Mostly what I get is a feed of the things that my friends think are noteworthy enough to share. Some of that stuff is "OC" (material they've posted themselves), but the majority of it is stuff they're boosting from the feeds of their friends. Now, I say friend but I don't know the majority of the people I follow. I have a parasocial relationship (these get an undeserved bad rap) with them.

We're "friends" in the sense that I think they have interesting taste. There's people I've followed for more than a decade without exchanging a single explicit communication. I think they're cool, and I repost the cool stuff they post, so the people who follow me can see it. Reposting is a way of collaborating with other people who've opted into sharing their attention-management with you:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/05/27/probably/

Reposting with a comment? Even better – you're telling people why to pay attention to that thing, or, more importantly, why they can safely ignore it if it's not their thing (what Bruce Sterling memorably calls an "attention conservation notice"). This is why Mastodon's decision not to implement quote-tweeting (over a misplaced squeamishness about "dunk culture") was such a catastrophic own-goal. If you're building a social network without an algorithmic suggestion feed (yay), you absolutely can't afford to block a feature that lets people annotate the material they boost into other people's timelines:

https://fediversereport.com/fediverse-report-104/

Remember how I said the affect of going to read the news is totally different (and infinitely superior) to the affect of having the news pushed to you? Same goes for the difference between getting a feed of things boosted and written by people you've chosen to follow, and getting a feed of things chosen by an algorithm. This is for reasons far more profound than the mere fact that algorithms use poor signals to choose those posts (e.g. "do a lot of people seem to be arguing about this post?").

For me, the problem with algorithmic feeds is the same as the problem with AI art. The point of art is to communicate something, and art consists of thousands of micro-decisions made by someone intending to communicate something, which gives it a richness and a texture that can make art arresting and profound. Prompting an AI to draw you a picture consists of just a few decisions, orders of magnitude fewer communicative acts than are embodied in a human-drawn illustration, even if you refine the image through many subsequent prompts. What you get is something "soulless" – a thing that seems to involve many decisions, but almost all of them were made by a machine that had no communicative intent.

This is the definition of "uncanniness," which is "the seeming of intention without intending anything." Most of the "meaning" in an AI illustration is "meaning that does not stem from organizing intention":

https://pluralistic.net/2024/05/13/spooky-action-at-a-close-up/#invisible-hand

The same is true of an algorithmic feed. When someone you follow – a person – posts or boosts something into their feed, there is a human intention. It is a communicative act. It can be very communicative, even if it's just a boost, provided the person adds some context with their own commentary or quoting. It can be just a little communicative, too – a momentary thumbpress on the boost button. But either way, to read a feed populated by people, rather than machines, is to be showered with the communicative intent of people whom you have chosen to hear from. Perhaps you chose unwisely and followed someone whose communications are banal or offensive or repetitious. Unfollow them.

Most importantly, follow the people who are followed by the people you follow. If someone whose taste you like pleases or interests you time and again by promoting something by a stranger to your attention, then bring that stranger closer by making them someone you follow, too. Do this, again and again, and build a constellation of people who make you smile or make you think. Just the act of boosting and virtually handling the things those people make and boost gets that stuff into your skin and your thoughts:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/07/31/divination/

This is the good kind of filter bubble – the bubble of "people who interest me." I'm not saying that it's a sin to read an algorithmic feed, but relying on algorithmic feeds is a recipe for feeling empty, and regretful of your misspent attention. This is true even when the algorithm is good at its job, as with Tiktok, whose whole appeal is to take your hands off the wheel and give total control over to the autopilot. Even when an algorithm makes many good guesses about what you'll like, seeing something you like isn't as nice, as pleasing, as useful, as seeing that same thing as the result of someone else's intention.

And, of course, once you let the app drive, you become a soft target for the cupidity and deceptions of the app's makers. Tiktok, for example, uses its "heating tool" to selectively boost things into your feed – not because they think you'll like it, but because they want to trick the person whose content they're boosting into thinking that Tiktok is a good place to distribute their work through:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/01/21/potemkin-ai/#hey-guys

The value of an algorithmic feed – of an intermediated feed – is to help you build your disintermediated, human feed. Find people you like through the algorithm, follow them, then stop letting the algorithm drive.

And the human feed you consume is input for the human feed you create, the stream of communicative acts you commit in order to say to the world, "This is what feels good to spend my attention on. If this makes you feel good, too, then please follow me, and you will sit downstream of my communicative acts, as I sit downstream of the communicative acts of so many others."

The more communicative the feeds you emit are, the more reward you will reap. First, because interrogating your own attention – "why was this thing interesting?" – is a clarifying and mnemonic act, that lets you get more back from the attention you pay. And second, because the more you communicate about those attentive insights, the more people you will find who are truly Your People, a community that goes beyond "I follow this stranger" and gets into the realm of "this stranger and I are on the same side in a world of great peril and worry":

https://pluralistic.net/2021/05/09/the-memex-method/

Which brings me back to this blog and my fifth bloggaversary. Because a blog is a feed, but one that is far heavier on communications than a stream of boosted posts. Five years into this iteration of my blogging life (and 24 years into my blogging life overall), blogging remains one of the most powerful, clarifying and uplifting parts of my day.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2025/02/19/gimme-five/#jeffty

[oceangirl24]

Fandom drama finally over (next chapter on the way).

Well, this month has been surreal.

For those of you who have been following me for a while you know I have dealt with plagiarism and harassment by a fandom writer since October of 2022- exactly twenty years after I posted the first chapter of AiP on FFN.

Totally gone.

Everything has been deleted everywhere.

The name has been scrubbed, even on pages that tagged her. Only a few gift fics on FFN and a few stories on WhoFic.com remain.

Gone like she never existed.

I've held off saying anything in case it was a just a dream, but it's real.

She is gone!

It's over.

Finally!

I cannot tell you what a massive relief this is.

I have never named her publicly through all of this, although I know some of you figured out who it was.

MrsFizzle. Kaylie Night.

I never shared the extent of what went on for several reasons, but mostly because I knew my socials were being watched and I didn't want to give her the satisfaction of knowing that what she was doing was so badly affecting my physical and mental health.

I was already dealing with a severe bout of depression and anxiety when she contacted me on FFN in October 2022. At that time, I did not have any socials linked to my FF accounts other than my art account on FFN. I was just getting back into fandom and hadn't decided how I wanted to engage yet. We had been talking in comments on AO3, and instead of asking me if I wanted to talk privately, she just appeared in my dms saying she wanted to talk so she "found" me. This was disturbing, especially since she indicated she was aware I likely did not want to hear from her, but I brushed it off as anxiety talking. I had said I wanted fandom friends after all. And I had no reason not to talk to her.

I should have listened to my instinct.

She straight up told me what she was going to do and how she was going to do it- take my work and Audrey to chop up and use as she pleased. She immediately began to gaslight me by saying she had all of this already written and was giving me a heads up so I wouldn't think she copied. Later, she insisted she would not change anything about Ashley, which made her previous offer to change her name not sincere.

I felt I couldn't say anything about this, not even saying yes, please change the name. What right did I have anyway? It's fanfiction. Mine is the only story like it in the fandom and recognizable, so she'll credit me, and I'll get over it.

I hated it, though. I hated what I thought she was trying to do, and I hated myself for thinking that of someone new to and excited about the fandom. I've been in BMW fanfiction since 2002 and have always had a great experience with it and the people in it. I convinced myself that I was reading into things, and that depression and anxiety were skewing my perception.

Over a year later, while putting the report together, I saw her own words in comments with the dates on them telling me she read AiP and Flashbacks before writing her story, I just didn't catch it. I also saw all the lies she told her readers about the situation. I saw the little comments picking at my characters and story line, the ones she said she loved so much to make herself look better. I can't imagine what she was telling people privately with how bold as she was publicly.

She lied to me about everything from why Ashley's name was so similar to Audrey's to the plot she had planned for her "little family". Told me our OCs had to be the same because they were written for the same character. They had to be younger than Jon, had to have a traumatic backstory, and had to be good with teens, very pretty, etc. There were differences: her character wasn't as young as mine and "had more of an edge to her".

Also she said she couldn't tag Ashley as an OC because she wasn't. Not really. To say she was original would be "presumptuous". She existed in GMW.

Somehow Audrey did not nor did any other OC love interest for Jon even though they too were nurses like in canon. Unbelievably, she even told a reader Ashley was a canon character.

We talked for one week.

It was a miserable seven days. I set my discord status to invisible to get rid of the pressure to respond right away when she messaged. She didn't like this and wanted to know why she couldn't tell when I was online.

No one else ever shows up like that she said, why do you?

I made something up and said a bunch of things to appease her, but I was worried about why this was such an issue, especially since many of my friends were also permanently invisible. The fear she was watching my online movement just had to be my anxiety driving paranoia, right? She couldn't be. Who has time for that?

A fandom friend I had been talking to about the conversations as they happened advised me to get out. She said I shouldn't be afraid and anxious when talking to someone about fandom things.

I finally got the courage to end it. She didn't like being cut off. I tried to be nice about it and took all the blame on myself for this fandom friendship not working out, but that wasn't enough. I finally had to be forceful (or honest I suppose) and tell her I felt like I was being lied to because what she told me was different than what she was telling other people.

She denied it of course and was very offended.

"May God deal with me as He sees fit if I have intentionally decieved you."

This closed out one of her last FFN messages and always bothered me. Was it purposely worded like that or a Freudian slip? In hindsight, now that she's deleted everything, maybe He did just that.

I found out later that the "repetitive stress injury paired with hypermobility" in her wrists that left her unable to type for a year was not her story. See I have hypermobility in my lower body, really bad in my hips. In talking to her, a lot of what she said didn't make sense and she often wouldn't give direct answers. Later on Reddit she announced that her wrists were suddenly healed, all better now. I had no clue you could be cured of hypermobility (you can't).

When compiling the plagiarism report, I came across the AN on a story written by a close friend of hers (I was blocking all close associates). What was it about? A repetitive stress wrist injury paired with hypermobility. It looked like it went up during the time we were talking.

She told me one thing about why she left her job in the AO3 comments. Then she used my own AN about why I left teaching (internal school politics) to come up with a different reason for leaving education on FFN that honestly made no sense to me but I didn't question her. She then told Reddit something different.

There were other instances where she took someone else's story and claimed it as her own real-life tale. Some of this was public, too. Either she thought no one would pick up on it, or she thought she could say anything she wanted and not be held accountable. I don't know.

Then there was the drive to push me out of the fandom using what weaknesses she knew I had to do it. Looking back, she was very good at it. Too good for it to be the first time she'd done this to someone. She claimed I was the first person since high school she'd had drama with and the first ever online. I highly doubt that now.

I had Cameos from Tony Quinn and had spoken to him in dms. I mentioned these to her, and she insisted on seeing them. I didn't want to share them. They were special to me with a lot of personal things said. But I was selfish by not sharing, right? So, I gave in, edited out the personal stuff, and sent them to her.

Immediately I regretted it.

As soon as she indicated she's seen them, I deleted them. Then she said she hadn't seen part of one and none of the others, could I send again? I ended up making an excuse as to why I couldn't - too much personal info. Truthfully, I had the inexplicable fear she was going to take the videos and claim them as her own.

You see, she didn't care anything about Tony whom I've been a big fan of since 1994 when we first started talking. He was just some old guy to her. Until she found out how much I liked him. Then suddenly she was his biggest fan and just had to meet him because he was so wonderful. They lived in the same state after all. Oh, but don't worry I would get to meet him too someday for sure, she told me... on the other side of heaven. 🙄

When I told my friend about this one, she said to cut contact.

(Ironically, by the time we started talking, Tony had already moved back to my home state, where he and his wife are from. Learned that from his Pod Meets World interview that came out a month after we stopped talking. I cried-laughed the first time I listened to the interview.)

She liked to point out how old I was. I never told her, she did the math and figured it out she said. She was wrong, but it didn't matter. She was aware of personal insecurities and liked to push this one. I told her things I should not have but I was desperate for another friend and I convinced myself that all the warning sirens I was hearing in my head was just anxiety.

Towards the end of our time talking on Discord, she had started the subtle dismantling of my confidence in AiP. I was very aware that my work was outside of the norm for the fandom at the time and was often insecure about it. With little feedback at the time, I didn't know what to do.

It's a trilogy, split it into three parts maybe, so the word count isn't so intimidating?

She told me the story was too long, and even splitting it into three parts wouldn't help- no one reads sequels or will go back to read the first parts. On the other hand, no one would be interested in giving it a chance because of the length. Also, the story wasn't healing- and that is why people read, you know. Her attitude toward Audrey grew chilly and very, "she's an OC, people don't like OC main characters." This was a drastic departure from her comments on AiP.

Then she started bragging about how well her story was doing and all the comments she got. Fans were just begging her for more.

After I cut contact, she blocked me on Reddit and purposely took over the Jon and Jon and Shawn threads so I couldn't participate. This continued until I blocked her. She didn't like having her participation limited.

Blocks on both sides were lifted for awhile. I wish I hadn't lifted mine. But I had been so looking forward to season 2 of PMW and wanted to talk to others about it and Mr. Turner. I thought I could handle dealing with her more out there takes.

During this time, I noticed a sharp drop in interaction on my stories.

Readers not from Reddit or FFN disappeared. I always wondered about the timing. Readers gushed over her, though, and several indicated they were talking to her on Discord, too.

She knew how much fandom connection meant to me and took every opportunity to flaunt hers, whether in her comments or on Reddit. She had a thing for following me around and posting where I did, including on other people stories.

I mentioned this feeling of being left out and wondering if there was a Discord server for BMW I didn't know about. She said there was none she knew of and told me no one wanted to talk about BMW in a discord server anyway. All the people she talked to were uncomfortable with that. They only wanted to talk to her privately.

Turns out that was another lie.

Not only did I find that people wanted a discord server, in a comment thread with her and another reader about wanting to discuss head canon offsite, one of those readers "uncomfortable with discord servers" created one of their own and dropped a link inviting them to it some months before that conversation.

It wasn't the existence of a private server that bothered me so much. If there was, there was. It was the way she told me: everyone wanted her, nobody wanted me.

Had it not been for readers alerting me to the stolen work, I would never have known any of this. I'd still be wondering why the fanfiction side of the fandom wanted little to do with me when I sincerely tried to give back as much as I got and tried to welcome/encourage writers, especially new Jon & Shawn writers.

Then she contacted me on Christmas Eve 2022 on Reddit. After I made it clear I wanted nothing to do with her. As always, I was too nice. I still blamed myself and the anxiety for everything that happened. She offered friendship and apologies and then abruptly ripped the offer away when I expressed having reservations. When I didn't do what she wanted, she got mean.

Admittedly, her hurtful words about having "tons" of fandom friends to talk to when I didn't upset me. Since she liked to talk about God and being a Christian, I shot her some Bible verses about words and told her how cruel she was.

That didn't go over well.

Later I felt bad about it. Maybe I was too harsh, too judgemental, too sensitive. Blaming my anxiety for my reaction, I stupidly reached out on Valentine's Day 2023 to try to make peace with her.

She was even meaner and now saying she was afraid of me. She said I had hurt her so much she couldn't trust me. She admitted that she'd hurt me too but wouldn't say how, just that we kept hurting each other, so she was too scared to talk to me.

What?

I was talking about her, she claimed. And that was too much. She couldn't take the pain and stress of being talked about online. Oh, and her depression was worse and she struggled more, so what I was going through didn't matter.

Did I talk about her online?

In the aftermath of the Discord chats, I was angry she wouldn't leave me alone when asked. I resented her trying to push me out of a fandom I've been in since I was a little kid. I vented my frustration by making a wildest opinion that fans had heard over the years post on Reddit. Mine was that Jon was a coward for letting Shawn go back to Chet. I never named her or how I'd heard this opinion. I didn't think she was even still around the subreddit.

She outed herself.

I think the biggest problem with the post was that no one agreed with her take. I deleted the post not long after it was made and apologized to her for it later, but it wasn't good enough.

The next thing wasn't even about her. I told her that when she contacted me on Reddit. Someone had posted about having to block someone online and why. I responded sympathetically, referencing something that had happened before I met her. She refused to accept that my comment wasn't about her. Of course, I was talking about her, how could I not be?

Everything was about her no matter what the topic was.

But these were the terrible things I did to her that made her afraid of me. She couldn't come up with anything else. Turns out what she was really afraid of was that I would find out what she was doing and what she was telling others.

For 16 months I was so stressed and depressed that I started having panic attacks again. @lizettevanessa and later @mrsmungus virtually held my hand and talked me through these. They spent hours trying to help me calm down and get me to think rationally over that time.

I have type 1 diabetes and stress is a killer for me. Throughout this ordeal, my blood sugar was stuck at over 300 for hours on end and it seemed that no matter how much insulin I used it wasn't enough. And then the bottom would fall out and my blood sugar crashed. It was a never-ending cycle of trying to bring down highs and bring up lows. This led to stomach problems, constant migraines, and eventually hair loss. I had so many nights where I couldn't sleep. I was so depressed I couldn't work out and I couldn't cope with online or rl situations that shouldn't have been a big deal.

It also triggered the ED.

I hadn't had a relapse in years.

Online I was always looking over my shoulder wondering if the people in fandom were being honest with me or if they were pretending to be my friend while reporting back to her. I know for a fact one person in the BMW server was doing this. I know at least a couple of readers/friends were involved and that she created alts impersonating others.

Trying to run an inclusive, welcoming fandom server while trying to protect myself was a nightmare.

I honestly can't put into words how much damage she did. It was only because of my chaos family and sis @mrsmungus that I didn't quit everything. No exaggeration. I came very close several times to deleting over 20 years of work and history because of her.

What I've just told you is a just a part of what I've dealt with since late 2022.

The worst part is I think she'd be pleased to know how effective her tactics were. I don't know what was going on in her life that drove her to do this. I don't know if she is just that jealous, entitled, and petty a person or if she was lashing out because of something done to her and this was the only way she could get revenge- by going after an easy target and inflicting the same hurt she'd suffered.

What did she gain by doing all of this? If if I had left the fandom, what was the end goal? There were/are a lot of Jon and Shawn adoption writers out there. Would she drive them out to so she could be the BNF of BMW?

I've been in online fandom for over 20 years and I've learned that fandom is cyclical. Favorite tropes, characters, etc. change over time, falling out of favor and then becoming popular again. It would be a full-time job plus overtime trying to stay on top.

As for me, all she had to do is admit where her inspiration came, just once, just a note. Instead, she chose to lie, manipulate, and harass me just so she didn't have to admit it.

It's incredibly stupid if you stop to think about it.

But she is gone now and all of that is gone with her.

I don't know what happened that made her nuke everything and I do not care. It doesn't matter.

I used to want that story rewritten or gone. But in all honesty, I am ecstatic to see she's gone.

Good riddance.

Looking back, I get the feeling she is a very privileged person who has been sheltered from having to deal with the consequences of her actions for a long time and not just online.

Going back over all the private correspondences with her, the ones she had a with a mutual reader that were sent to me, and her response to AO3 that was removed by staff, in them is a trend in claiming something awful happened to her making it impossible for anything to be her fault when confronted with something negative. Flu, injury, baby, computer theft, ID theft, etc. There was always an excuse. She was always the victim.

She got away with it until she didn't.

I really do hope she deals with whatever caused her to act this way. It's terrible for those who cross her path who aren't her constant cheerleader, but it's worse for her in the end.

You can't be like that and be happy.

You know what is sad?

She's actually a talented writer. She could have taken that story and really done something special with it. The foundation was there. She could have taken Ashley and made her into a fully developed, living, breathing character who could have shaped her family unit in a way that didn't look anything like mine even if the same basic elements were there. It would have been so easy for her to do. Instead, she picked what she wanted from mine, minced it up, and harassed me over what she was doing.

AO3's verdict on my report, which was still out a year later, no longer matters since she deleted everything.

If by chance Kaylie is reading this or does read this someday, let me be very clear: Do not think I feel sorry for you in any way. Do NOT contact me for any reason, not even to apologize. Do not come at me with new accounts anywhere. I do not care if it's ten years from now. I want nothing to do with you.

Yet out of all this mess, there were some incredible things that came of it. Because of her behavior, it drove me to get involved with fanfiction outside of the fandom and find my online family. If I had the chance to go back in time and avoid her, but it meant not finding my family, I'd decline. Her nonsense was worth finding them.

Because of her, I did become afraid to get involved with fandom people and very nearly missed meeting someone who is very dear to me. @justanotherpersonwhowrites posted her story on FFN and I completely panicked when I saw the description of her OC. Thankfully she posted on Tumblr and AO3 later on as I was finding my family. I reread her story and fell in love with her OC. I got up the courage to reach out and I am so glad I did. She is an amazing person, a talented writer, and an incredible friend.

Also the BMW discord server happened because of Kaylie. I didn't want others to be isolated from the fandom like I was and Reddit is good for some things but not others. Not only is it an archive for the show but a place for fans to find each other. It is also a safe place for fanfiction writers to get together.

So what happens now?

Autumn in Philadelphia will go on, without a doubt. And I will be picking up my other stories that were more lighthearted and fun. I have a series of Jondrey one shots that I really want to do too. A lot fun stuff and art. I'll be more active on here and in the BMW server.

The AN that's on every story will be changed to link to this post.

As for blocks, they will remain for now.

The reason is I've been through too many bouts of silence only for her to resurface. Although she can't return in the same way, I don't know that she doesn't still have former readers acting as her eyes and ears. Eventually all blocks will be lifted except on those I know to be her friends because she named them as such.

I still have the report, the screencaps (soooo many screencaps), all her messages, and a copy of that story. I took screenshots of all the places she used to exist but doesn't anymore because it still doesn't seem real. I thought about purging everything, but they are now a part of AiP's history. Someday I'll get around to building that neocities site as a tribute to the era this all began in and I will include everything: the fantastic, the strange, and the nightmarish.

I want to extend my eternal gratitude to one of my dearest friends, @lizettevanessa, to my sis @mrsmungus, to little sis @justanotherpersonwhowrites, to @lena-hills @kayedium-writes @hylianjo @sliebman10 @axolotlsupremacyowo @udaberriwrites @fattybattysblog @narcissasdaffodil @danceswithdarkspawn and the rest of my Chaos family for your love and support during the past two years. I owe you everything.

And to my readers, who've been with me whether from the beginning or just joined, THANK YOU. I love and appreciate you more than you know.

❤️❤️❤️❤️

-Aria

[lesbiancolumbo]

I know your field is quite different from the one I work in, but as someone who is currently job hunting- any advice on how you wrote your cover letter?

sure! first of all: i want it on record that i hate cover letters, think they're stupid, but they're basically a requirement if you want to get anywhere with any job 🤕, so my philosophy regarding them is work smarter, not harder. since i'm in a very specific industry, i can get away with keeping essentially the same template and changing up one or two sentences to apply to the specific job/employer i'm applying to. this has allowed me to just plug and play with my specific cover letter and helped me easily apply to many jobs. you shouldn't be writing a different cover letter for every job! i don't know who needs to hear this! that is a waste of time!!!! my god!

so i've done my fair share of cover letter research over the years as i've applied to and it seems like the standard industry advice is this basic ass template:

this is from an article titled, no joke, "how to write cover letters that stand out".

employers read so many of these damn things and this template ironically does NOT make you stand out. the likelihood of an employer reading this is low. here's a redacted excerpt of a cover letter i submitted years ago that got me hired at my current job (ignore the whited out typo lol!!! that's how good my letter was tho, that they ignored my typo).

see the difference?

with the caveat that you should take my advice with a grain of salt, because different industries look for different types of cover letters, i always lead my cover letters with a story in my distinctive voice that grabs the person reading it. getting in the room is always the hardest part, and this was an easy way for me to grab hiring managers' attentions. when i had my first interview with the place i now work at, the first question they had was........ tell me more about the power outage! i'd been using the traditional format for months (years before that), and after a bunch of insta-rejects and canned "no thanks" i was going crazy and had nothing to lose, so i chose to get creative with it, and it's been serving me very well ever since!!!!

personally i think it sucks that job hunting has become so much of an Event - but if you do a little bit of work on the front end and craft something unique to your voice, i've found that employers WILL respond to it. and when i go to submit to a new job, i change very little, just a couple of sentences, and boom. here's MY bare bones template:

paragraph one: [lead with a story written in your unique voice that shows off your skillset and strengths. end with a version of "and that's why i'd be a great [JOB TITLE]"]

paragraph two: [this is where you hit 'em with your past job experience, but don't just sum up the resume]

paragraph three: [and here's why i would REALLY be amazing at this job, because i'm (insert whatever it is the job is looking for - "i'm passionate about this organization's cause! i'm a master at multitasking, i love working with people!" etc). you've set them up, now you gotta knock it down].

i hope that was helpful. again i can only speak to my experience, and my industry is much more receptive to creative voice in the application, but i've got a pretty decent batting average on jobs applied to/interview requests, so i think there's something to this strategy. good luck with the job hunt!

[smilocity]

Family Reunion

I’m back! Sorry for not posting! School is starting again and I haven’t had the time to write some stories.

Anyway, I had this amazing idea! It’s about seeing your family members who are soldiers back from deployment!

Note: I saw this one video about a child running to his father after he appeared at the airport gate and it was so cute!

Pairings: Fem!Reader x 141 (individually, alongside with your children.)

Synopsis: Task Force 141 has just finished a long deployment of 3 whole months. Eager to see their families or loved ones, they decided to head home early in the morning. What they didn’t know was that their families were too eager to wait at home!

Warning: There is none! Just watch out for the cutest moments ever!!

Genre: Fluff, SFW.

John Price

John was tired. Exhausted even. Actually, exhausted was an understatement. He was on the brink of passing out.

3 months before wasn’t that much or a deal, but now that he has a son and a wife waiting at home. All he thinks about is his family and it pisses him off that he had his flight delayed over the wind picking up.

So when he could finally make it to his flight and ensure that the rest of his Task Force members were accounted for properly, he could finally sit down and take a breather.

It was a grueling 6-hour and 45-minute flight. Price did not know if he was going crazy but could swear that he took at least a 3-4 hour nap but saw that there were STILL 4 hours left to the flight. "Bloody hell..." To say the least, he was relieved to be back in London and on land. Getting through security and going to the luggage area to pick up his belongings felt like a blur.

He remembered walking through the gate to welcome the arrivals before hearing a familiar giggle. "I'm coming, papa!"

John's eyes widened when seeing his son running towards him, he didn't expect this but he sure damn is happy it happened.

Without thinking, he knelt down to welcome his son into his arms, picked him up, and continued walking while reuniting with his son.

"Hey, kiddo. Missed you lots," John smiled kissing the boy's head who squealed in delight.

You smiled when seeing the moment happen, having it on film to go back on this memory in the future, "Surprise! We wanted to see you first thing in the morning." "I would've told you to wait fo' me back at home. But I'm glad you came 'ere instead," John for once showed a genuine smile when speaking and hugging his wife.

Oh. How he missed his family.

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick

Gaz was eager to get back home as his wife had told him about being in labour during his deployment.

He was saddened he couldn't be there physically but sent letters and messages to show his support for his ever-so-strong wife for pulling through with a healthy baby and birth.

"Hells fuckin' bells, Gaz. You've been pacing 'round for 20 minutes straight," Soap commented, looking at his teammate moving around in the airport gate waiting area they're in.

The said sergeant sighed, groaning as he sat next to Price, "Sorry. Just a bit restless." "A bit?" The captain huffed out a small laugh, "Looks more than that to me, eh?" "He's just eager to meet his new addition to his family," Ghost spoke, scrolling through his burner phone.

And they were right, Gaz was eager to meet his baby girl as he couldn't be there for her birth. It made him nervous when thinking about his family.

Once they were called to board their flight, Gaz booked it towards the counter and was first to sit down.

Price blinked in amusement but didn't pry as he understood the emotions the young male was going through.

The flight lasted 5 hours, but it was like a whole day according to the tan-skinned male. (He was getting tired of aircraft after his series of falling out of them twice with Price during a mission.)

Once landing in London and saying goodbye to Soap as he was heading to Scotland, Glasgow to reunite with his family.

Gaz immediately went to talk things out with his in-laws about how to get to his wife and daughter.

But to his surprise, he didn’t know you gave birth a little in advance while he was in early deployment.

"Yeah. So sorry to bother you. Is it possible that one of my brothers could pick me up from the airport? It’s 7 in the morning, and I know it’s not ideal, but if you could at least ask one of them, that would be much appreciated."

While speaking on the phone with his mother-in-law. You were seen trying to wrangle your first born son while your newborn daughter was in a baby stroller as the rest of both you and Kyle’s family were all gathered to the greeting area of new arrivals.

"Hurry up, everyone!" Kyle’s mother whisper-yelled, seeing a glimpse of her son made her signal to everyone to get into their positions.

Price notified the sergeant on his phone earlier, "You okay, Gaz?"

"Yeah, Cap." He replied calmly, putting his phone back in his pocket. "Everything’s fine. Just trying to find my brother-in-law. Apparently Roy he was supposed to pick me up."

Price and Ghost have offered to drop him off but Kyle insisted on not disturbing them when they just returned from their deployment.

While walking to exit, a group of people suddenly yelled, "Welcome back!!" It was Kyle’s family and yours, greeting him back.

This made the sergeant stop in his tracks before a large grin appeared over his face as he walked over to his family and greeted them all.

"There’s someone else who wants to meet you!" His mother added after being able to hug her son.

"Papa!"

A young boy, no older than 3 years old ran towards his father making his heart flutter out of joy to see him.

"Oh, hey, bud," Kyle smiled, picking him up.

You walked over to your husband, "They were eager to see you."

Kyle was surprised to see their newborn daughter in your arms. He almost cried when seeing the fragile baby girl, "Oh, love, she’s beautiful."

The family hugged it out, "I’m home," he mumbled in his wife’s hair.

This was one of the best surprises he’s ever had in his lifetime.

John "Soap" MacTavish

(We all knew that Johnny would probably win when it comes to the biggest family reward. I mean, he’s a Scot, of course he’d have at least two or three older sisters waiting for him back home.)

The moment where he was allowed to head back to Glasgow was the time where he really was able to be just John MacTavish instead of Soap.

He’s just happy to be home and see his family. Especially his adorable triplets that his missus gave him in a healthy birth.

While getting his luggage, he felt someone wrap their around his shoulders, he instinctively tried to push the person off, military instincts kicking in.

But he knew that laugh…He knew who just tackled him.

"You troublemaker! I thought someone tried to tackle me," he laughed, hugging his older sister.

"Ha! You wish! Still haven’t beaten me yet, Johnny!" The ginger grinned, hugging her younger sibling tightly.

The two other sisters ran and lunged at John practically almost making everyone tumble to the ground.

But he couldn’t care less, he missed his family, his siblings. The people who supported him throughout his childhood and adulthood.

"Johnny!/JJ!” His other sisters, who are twins, also with ginger hair greeted him happily.

He laughed heartedly, for the first time in months he was able to laugh like he meant it. It felt nice to see his family again.

"Our golden baby brother is finally back," ever since his childhood, John could remember about his elder siblings shower him in gifts and love.

"Come on, you three. I’m not a baby anymore. I’m married and have kids," John dismissed their awes.

"Adult or not, you’re still our baby brother," his elder sister smiled before calling out to a group of people to join them.

"Papa!/Daddy!"

Huh…? He could have sworn he heard his children but couldn’t find them. He swerved his head to try and find the source of the sound.

And there they were, his adorable children running to greet him after being separated for so long.

John didn’t waste them to embrace them in a tight hug, “Aw! I missed you guys so much!"

Simon "Ghost" Riley

3 months…

3 months…!

3 months!

"Bloody hell…"

It wasn’t unusual for Ghost to be gone for long periods of time. But for some reason, he felt extremely tired and unable to think straight since his deployment ended.

All he could think about is you.

His wife.

His family.

His children.

The long flight towards Manchester was gruelling for him.

The checking in, signing the papers and getting his passport back while getting his luggage felt like an eternity for him.

He was about to call you that he’s heading out of the airport before seeing a banner at the exit.

It said: "Welcome home, Dad!"

To anyone, they would’ve thought it could any person, but Simon knew that that banner was meant for him.

"Daddy!" His eldest son smiled, running up to him, too eager to wait for him to walk towards them.

Without missing a beat, the tall man picked up his son, "I missed you!" The 8 year old grinned.

"Same ‘ere, kiddo."

You were seen holding your 4 year old daughter, "Welcome home, Si!"

The young girl squealed when seeing her father, "Papa!"

Ghost was no longer when he was with his family.

In their eyes, he was Simon Riley, your husband, the kids’ father and role model.

Simon picked up his daughter from your arms, happy to see his children after so long.

Both kids were seen in the big man’s arms, excited to have their father back after his long deployment.

"Did you wait long?" Simon asked, turning towards you.

You just waved him off, "Not at all. In fact, we got here half an hour before you got here."

"That’s good," He murmured before giving you a side hug, not wanting to squish the children still in his arms.

"Welcome home, Si," you said making him smile under the balaclava.

"I’m finally home."

Thanks for reading! :)

[fangdokja]

ATTENTION, My Readers. ... I've finally finished it. LORD, it's been a while since I've written something so long. Nevertheless.... I've done it.... Prepare to eat GOOD. I’ve also used brand new ingredients for this exquisite buffet. Scheduled to be published this Friday. Readers, I was so..... tired after writing. I wrote thinking I was just going to make a 12K chapter at most or something.... no.... I wanna sleep. eh, but I still have work to do lol.

Also we reached 2K followers officially so you know what that means. If you haven't voted for what explicit erotic horror story you want, do so here: 🖤⚔️ 2K Followers: Pick Your Hellish Harem Battle 💀

And now time to finish up the 1K Followers Special. This is actually my first time writing something solely focused on explicit gang rape (meaning: including full 100% edits and checking), so I'm really excited to play around with it :))

Here's the thing, I actually believe I might enjoy writing gang rape. Like maybe near the level of enjoyment when writing gore. Gore is easier to write; since writing multiple characters in a single scene, like in gang rape, is difficult. I was able to get some practice down with the recent dark humor drabbles, which I'm actually really thankful for. Even though, originally, I was really annoyed at getting mindblocked with horror content like crazy. But, hey, everything worked out really well. Regardless, I'm pumped to write like a madman. SUPER EXCITED TO COOK THIS UP. I've had some experience with drafts, but never yet a fully fleshed out 100% polished, edited story. Gang rape shenanigans have a lot of potential and room for creativity, kind of like how teratophilia is to me. So, gonna play around with this.

Not gonna lie. I'm so tired from writing that long Part 3 story ahahhaha, but at least quality is legit. Also, low-key want to do the request for the next Part of Yandere! Older Brother. ahhhh, I have so much long requests. I like legit got distracted by so much works that the Part 3 honestly slipped out of my mind haha. Well nothing set yet, except that I'll be working on the 1K Special for now.

[ukulelekatie]

girlfriend??!?! Tell!

Long story short, I have joined the statistic of “sapphics who meet their significant others through writing fanfic” lmao.

Short story long, we were mutuals in the ALOTO fandom and then met in person for the first time at stage door for The Thanksgiving Play on Broadway (starring D’Arcy Carden, aka Greta from ALOTO). I followed her and her friends to dinner like a lost little puppy because I was there by myself and was trying to be brave and make new friends. And I did! I made friends with that whole group and they’re wonderful! After that we continued to get to know each other better through discord servers and fic writing and irl meetups with our fandom friends over the next year and a half until we both developed feelings for each other, all while doing the classic “is she flirting? no probably not, we’re just really good friends!” obliviousness. (Meanwhile pretty much ALL of our friends were thinking “when the hell are these two going to figure things out???”). And then we finally figured things out, and started dating at the beginning of this year after another trip back to NYC to see a different play at the same theater where we met the first time (Cult of Love, starring Roberta Colindrez aka Lupe from ALOTO)! Feels very full circle if you ask me.

[saylor-twift]

people give all the credit to fontaine for being the “best region” (and they’re not wrong tbh) but why does everyone forget that genshin really started to glow up in sumeru?? like story flow, exploration, multi-layered map, character bursts/gameplay, not to mention the addition of dendro, a whole new element???

granted, sumeru still had plenty of flaws and i’m still not over the fact that they absolutely FUCKED dehya’s shit up so bad (she was the one sumeru character i wanted more than anyone else when it came out) but sumeru was peak in my opinion and im still not over the fact that it’s over. :(

some of my favorite things from sumeru IF you care:

- the relationship progression and teamwork between dehya, cyno and alhaitham. like they all started off super untrusting and unwilling to work with each other but were forced to make it work and ended up making a great team

- the archon quest in general had me so hooked the whole time i loved it (even the annoying ass samsara repetition at the beginning lol)

- Nilou’s burst, gameplay, and design. prettiest character in the whole game imo. (i still wish she had more potential as a dps rather than strictly a bloom/hydro applicator but oh well)

- Nahida’s writing. basically her whole character and development was so good, such a great archon

- literally everything to do with scaramouche/wanderer but if you guys are following me you already know i love him so do i really need to explain?

- absolutely BEAUTIFUL landscape even if it sucks to explore

- coolest looking enemies and bosses in the game i think (especially the eremites like what?? they literally look like they should be playable)

- the music in vorukasha oasis/ basically that whole area in general. the vocals are so pretty i literally stay there for hours just listening to the music, it’s my favorite area in the whole game i go there all the time when im bored

anyways that’s it now it’s y’all’s turn to tell me about your favorite nation and your favorite things in it!!!

[ghoststyles]

Harmless Prank

A check-in blurb for Fairway to Heaven 💞

HIIIIII I’ve been wanting to write this since i saw this Tik Tok trend lol.

WARNINGS: Prank, ~Dom Harry~ my beloved, mostly fluff.

_________________________________________________

Briar Barlowe is content with her relationship. She really is. But sometimes she likes to cause some trouble to keep things zesty and interesting.

She’d gotten the idea from Tik Tok; the abominable app that Harry detests, but still will crane his neck to watch while her head is in his lap and have the nerve to ask follow up questions to Reddit story times.

Briar grew up with 4 brothers, so she is no stranger to a harmless prank. So, when this video popped on to her feed one night while Harry snored through the movie they sat down to watch, she set the plan in motion.

Keeping herself busy throughout the day, she ran mini errands to keep up the appearance that she is simply too swamped to answer his messages.

What are you up to today? Didn’t get to say bye.

?

Are you getting a wax? I’m perfectly capable of doing that for you. Landing strip, triangle, polka dots. You name it.

Baby?

Briar smiles to herself. The power she feels from having a 41 year old man eat out of the palm of her hand is unmatched.

She didn’t really go shopping, but earlier she brought some designer paper bags bags she’d collected over the years down from their closet and began throwing old shoes, empty Dunkin’ cups and random dog supplies she’d found in her car to fill them up.

She looks down at her nails — the key to this prank. Her Coca-Cola red, almond shaped nails sparkle back at her. Those she had gotten done today, partially why she couldn’t answer Harry.

She clicks the garage door button to close behind her as she enters the mudroom. The dogs greet her, the bags swinging over their heads, making Gus glare at her.

Harry is at the kitchen island, his new reading glasses on his nose. She can see something boiling on the stove behind him. She begins filming on her phone nonchalantly, placing it against the flower vase on the entry table, pointed perfectly in the room.

He glances up, a tiny bit of relief washing over his features. He was wracking his brain trying to figure out why she’d leave the house without a word and ignore him the whole day.

“Hi Birdie,” he stands up to meet her by the door and places the glasses on the counter. “Started to scare me a little there when I didn’t hear from you. Did you do some shopping?”

He reaches for her hands, rubbing his thumb over her new, shiny, red nails.

“Mhm. Just thought I could use some me-time. I bought some stuff and got my nails done. Niall said I looked a little run down when he saw me at the club, so he treated me.”

Briar tries her damnedest to keep a straight face, but the way she could visibly see her words click in his head had her ready to break character at any moment. His brows furrow deeper than she’d ever seen before his voice deepens to speak. She beats him before he can.

“He told me this color looks nice on me. Makes me look tan.”

“Niall? My Niall? Niall Fucking Horan? Paid for my girl’s clothes and nails? I don’t fuckin’ think so,” he grits out as he rushes to the other side of the island to grab his phone and keys.

“He was just being nice, H, it’s not a big deal.”

“It IS a big deal, Briar. Does he think I don’t take care of you?”

“I don’t know! I thought he was just rewarding me for my hard work. Where are you going?”

Harry eyes are bulging out of his head at this point. He storms to the mud room to put on his shoes, to which Briar follows behind to try and stop him. She’s successful for a moment before he is back on his tear to the car.

“Rewarding you for your hard work? He’s a sick fuck is what he is!” Harry throws his hands into the air in disbelief that Briar finds this okay. “I’m gonna go rip his fucking bollocks off is where I’m going!”

“H — H, wait! It’s a prank,” she grabs at his wrist to prevent him from going to the garage while bursting into giggles. “It’s not real! I’m just teasing you.”

Harry stops in his tracks, an incredulous laugh falling from his lips. He looks back at the girl standing in front of him in stitches of laughter.

Instead of storming past her and pouting like a child like she expected of him, a wolfish grin appears on his face.

Briar’s head tilts at him like Wynnie’s does when he whistles at her to come inside. Harry places his hands on her shoulders, slowly walking her backwards towards the steps.

“A prank, hm? Thought that was funny?”

She smiles, rolling her chin to her right shoulder, suddenly feeling an adrenaline rush and shyness at the same time. He stops her at the base of the stairwell leading to their bedroom.

Harry leans into her ear to speak at a low whisper— a move he only does when Daddy shows up. Briar audibly gulps.

“I have an idea. How about I get to pick the color your arse will be tonight? Bet I could match it to the nail color Niall picked real nice.”

_________________________________________________

EEEEEE lmk what u think 🤠🤠🤠

[jungshookz]

a little thought

HELLO

a lot of these little posts for me as of late, this one is more of a rambling word vomit type but just wanted to share my thoughts with everyone as this blog was and is such a big part of my life <3 i value our relationship as parasocial as it might seem LOL but i have to be honest with you guys and myself before i continue writing this blog and building it back up :')

but first let me say some other things:

i hope everyone had a lovely valentine's day - it's a day to celebrate love of all kind, i PERSONALLY had a great valentine's day celebration aka i ordered dinner for myself and had a sushi roll that they shaped into a heart and was definitely meant for a couple to share. however, did i body that entire roll in 20 minutes? you BET your ass i did

new stories are definitely in the works, it's just taking me a while to balance job-hunting and writing! i promise i still have a whole list of drabbles to get to and as per usual my inbox is always open for suggestions if you want to see any particular scenarios

i am going to be more active on the blog from this point onwards whether that's just talking to you guys or posting drabbles - i know i've kind of been in and out but i was doing some deep reflection the other night and i think i've come to a conclusion about why i've been so in and out which you can read below if you feel inclined to hehe but also it will get a little #deep and #emotional

i think the reason why i've been struggling to come back every time is because i worry a lot about being forgotten or that no one will really care about my stories anymore because there are so many other writers out there posting stories, so me coming back to write wouldn't matter at all?? and also i'm worried that people will be upset with me?? which is totally something that i need to work on bc why is that always my automatic thought that all of you guys are on we're mad at cee island

i am still here, i am still reading your messages, and i am very VERY slowly getting back into writing love stories. i think after experiencing an emotionally abusive relationship and realising that not all love stories are like the ones i wrote about took a bigger toll on me than i thought... i mean there's a reason why i stopped writing love stories and disappeared back in 2022: i was so preoccupied with the tumultuous relationship i was in with an Evil Man and had completely lost my zest for writing love stories which was so sad because for so long they'd been such a big part of my life! i felt i couldn't write them because my stories weren't representative of the "real" (warped) version of love i was experiencing in real life :-/ and i think i've been afraid to admit that bc of how stubborn i am about a lot of things

it's been almost two years since the end of that relationship and i still think about a lot. in fact i thought about it so dang much that my whole thesis was based on it but BOOYAH i've graduated so some good came out of that >:D of course i'm doing a lot better and have built a new life for myself in a new city, BLOCKED his ass after he emailed me with a new email address and cackled about it, achieved things i never thought i would get close to when i was in that relationship, but i would be lying if i said those experiences didn't impact the way that i approach romantic relationships now as well as the way i approach writing love stories!!

the good news is that i did a little bit of writing the other night and for a second i felt the old cee returning (i make fun of her all the time but love her and admire her productivity, idk how she was pumping out like three drabbles a week), i had a good flow going on and i realised how much i missed y/n!! i am slowly starting to feel like myself again when it comes to writing stories and it's such a great feeling

anyway this was just a long way of saying i'm going to try and be better and i'm determined to write stories again and rebuild my relationship with you <3 our ceety will rise again!!! i'm sorry that it's taken me a while and i'll probably have to fall and get up a few more times before i get back into the groove but i hope you'll stick around for the long run, you don't know how much it means to me to know that some of you have been here from the start and are still checking in from time to time

lmk your thoughts, you know my inbox is always open!

cee

[signanothername]

Challenge for the character ask meme if you so choose to take it: All of the questions you haven't answered about Cross or Error or! An approaching new contender Reaper.

Decided to see which character I answered the least amount of questions for and it turned out to be Error with only 3, so doing Error for this one

Putting it under read more cause I have mercy

1. Why do you like or dislike this character?

Answered here

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

Everything tbh, his design, his story, his character, he’s just fun

3. Least favorite canon thing about this character?

None

4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in?

Would definitely put him in kinitopet cause it could be really fun

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

I'm an Albatraoz - AronChupa

6. What's something you have in common with this character?

His trust issues dgxggzgzgzg

7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

When they make him grumpy, I love grumpy characters, but if it’s done in moderation

8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

When his Haphephobia is either completely ignored, or turned up to 11, where’s the balance 😔

9. Could you be roommates with this character?

Yes, I think Error wouldn’t be too bad of a roommate (except for loud TV noises I guess dhdggxg), if Error doesn’t see me as an anomaly and erases me that is xhhxhxhxh

10. Could you be best friends with this character?

Yes actually, I think we’ll definitely get along just fine

11. Would you date this character?

Hell nah

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

Answered here

13. What's an emoji, an emoticon and/or any symbol that reminds you of this character or you think the character would use a lot?

I actually love to think Error wouldn’t use all sorts of emoticons from >:( to <3

Also anytime I see a windows XP setup or program or design, Error is on my mind

14. Assign a fashion aesthetic to this character.

Honestly can’t think anything specific for him? He strikes me as the kinda guy that like, wears something that’s both comfortable and fashionably casual, but a bit messy looking

15. What's your favorite ship for this character? (Doesn't matter if it's canon or not.)

None, I love to think he’s absolutely bitchless

16. What's your least favorite ship for this character?

Errorink (sorry errorink lovers)

17. What's a ship for this character you don't hate but it's not your favorite that you're fine with?

DestructiveDeath (Error x reaper)

18. How about a relationship they have in canon with another character that you admire?

His relationship with Swap

19. How about a relationship they have in canon that you don't like?

Nothing in particular comes to mind

20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn't matter?

Fresh, I will not elaborate

21. If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like?

Never written for Error specifically

22. If you're a fic reader, what's something you like in fics when it comes to ths character? Something you don't like?

Something I like: when he’s shown to be actually a bit silly, Error is silly, I wanna see it more than seeing him grumpy

Something I don’t like: when he’s made into an absolute tsundere

23. Favorite picture of this character?

What is that?! KILLITKILLITKILLIT

24. What other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them?

Rob - The Amazing World of Gumball

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

First impression: yoooo this guy got a cool design what’s his deal

Impression now:

26. What's something the character has done you can't get over? Be it something funny, bad, good, serious, whatever?

Answered here

———

Character ask game