#like they wouldn’t be used for ballet she can literally just fly

[spicyicymeloncat]

I want you to know I don’t know jackshit about ballet my only reference for the shoes is the childhood memory of this book

Ballet Cole ✨

[hotchley]

strawberry cheesecake

BAM! IT’S HERE!!! BEFORE MIDNIGHT AS WELL!! It was 23:14 when I hit publish on ao3 and I really do need to go to sleep, but it’s here, with some level of accuracy because I googled what happened when someone has an allergic reaction.

Finally, I, the pioneer of Aaron Hotchner’s strawberry allergy, has written the fic where he eats strawberry cheesecake at an FBI function and has a reaction. It got unexpectedly dark, but we’re going with it.

As usual, I have not proofread it, and I kinda need you to suspend all belief about how the FBI works/is run because the function kinda doesn’t make much sense and yeah... you’ll see what I mean when you read... I’m really hoping this doesn’t suck because you guys actually looked forward to it??

Trigger/Content Warnings; food, referenced child death (most recent case), alcohol consumption, anaphylactic shock/allergic reactions, child abuse, hospitals and I think that’s everything

Word Count: 7669 (it got really out of hand...)

read on ao3!

If there was one thing David Rossi hated more than local press giving unsubs ridiculous names because they believed it would make a good headline, it would be FBI functions. And not just any type of FBI function. The FBI function where the Behavioural Analysis Unit- which nobody had believed in- would be mentioned so frequently that it felt like they were on a case.

It was just his luck that one was being held on the same day that he was supposed to be going to the ballet with one of the lovely women that worked in the White-Collar unit. Because despite the rumours that went flying around about him and his dating habits, he was not going to take advantage of his position and make rookies or anyone else uncomfortable. The woman he was supposed to be meeting had approached him and asked if he’d liked to go.

Hotchner had been watching him, looking slightly scandalised as she had placed her hand on his tie, and so Rossi had said yes. He’d even leant in slightly and asked if she would have a problem with him giving her a kiss on the cheek. When she said that she wouldn't, and would actually quite like that, he did and Hotchner had fallen off his chair.

Rossi had smirked, the lady had laughed and Hotchner had hit his head trying to get back up, gone an even brighter red and made something up about dropping his pen and needing to grab it. Rossi’s date had snickered, whilst Rossi had just raised an eyebrow.

Hotchner had excused himself to the bathroom.

As he ran out of their area, closely followed by Anya- she’d slipped Rossi a piece of paper with her name and number, Erin Strauss had walked in, holding two envelopes.

Rossi didn’t need to be a profiler to know what was in there.

“No,” was the first thing he said.

“David,” Strauss warned.

“Erin,” he mocked.

Strauss sighed. “Look, I know you hate these things, but the entire bureau is founded on politics and people-pleasing. If you come to this, then there may be less questions about what exactly it is you do all day, apart from ogling the other agents.”

“I do not ogle. And I guess it’s too much to hope that the other invitation is for Anya, isn’t it?”

Strauss nodded. “It’s for Aaron. Do try and get him to come, it’ll give us all something pleasant to look at whilst we slowly die inside.”

Dave stared at her.

She rolled her eyes. “Look, I’m not saying that I want to ruin his marriage or sleep with him, I’m just saying he’s objectively attractive. And I don’t know why you look so surprised, Jason told me about the women that flirt with him. And that you started calling him pretty boy, which hasn’t exactly gone unnoticed.”

“Right.”

“Just make an effort to actually attend. And please get Agent Hotchner there too,” she said.

Dave just nodded.

Aaron had returned from the bathroom.

“Agent Hotchner. I hope Dave hasn’t been making you feel too awkward with all of his comments,” she said. It was clear that she was just trying to see whether any had been made.

Aaron’s cheeks flushed again. “Not at all ma’am,” he said, holding the door open for her. She nodded and left, but not before turning to Dave one last time as she gave him an extremely pointed glare. He made a face at her, which caused her to laugh.

When Hotch had sat back down again, Dave finally acknowledged him.

“That trip to the bathroom seemed rather urgent,” he joked.

“I- well, so,” Hotch stuttered.

Dave shook his head. “It’s fine. And it doesn’t look like that date will be happening anyways, so it’s not a big deal.”

“Wait why won’t it be happening? You both seemed… excited at the prospect of going.”

In response, Dave threw the second envelope at his head. Aaron’s reflexes weren’t fast enough, so it just bounced off and landed on the floor. As he bent down to pick it up, Dave began to understand why Erin and the other agents thought of him as being something pleasant to look at. As in, Aaron had pretty eyes. And his hair was constantly falling in his face, which was endearing.

“That envelope is why it won’t be happening.”

Aaron stared at him and then opened it. “Oh.” He seemed even less enthusiastic than Dave did about attending. 

“I thought you would have been thrilled at the thought of going. It’ll be like all those balls you went to when you were just a young boy growing up in the good old South Virginia," Dave said. He knew he was toeing the line.

Aaron's silence about his childhood revealed more than his words ever could.

"First of all, I didn't attend balls when I was a young boy. The only dance I ever went to was my prom, and that was only because Haley basically forced me to go. And South Virginia isn't that good, that's just a stereotype that people have because people live in fancy houses with white picket fences," Aaron snapped. It was uncharacteristically sharp.

"Sorry," Dave said. And he meant it.

Aaron's eyes widened. "Sir, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have lashed out at you. You've not done anything wrong. I just-"

"It's okay. Do you want to talk about it? There's no pressure, it's just if you wanted to. That seemed like quite an extreme reaction to something so trivial." Why was he so bad at this? He could charm any woman he wanted, yet the moment he tried to speak to Hotchner about anything other than work and Haley, he sounded like an idiot.

"I left prosecution because it was always more about politics than actually helping people get justice for the terrible things that had happened to them. And now it just feels like nothing has changed and time that could be spent stopping someone from destroying lives is just going to go on people-pleasing," Aaron confessed. He wouldn't meet Dave's eyes.

Dave wanted to pull him in for a hug, but he knew it would most likely not be well received. He also knew that wasn't the whole truth, but it wasn't his place to push. Aaron felt things, more deeply than the rest of them, but he would never admit to anyone that there were certain cases that got under his skin.

Like the one they had just finished. A child wasn't going to be coming home, but the look on the mother's face when they informed her was not one of sorrow. It was one of relief. Aaron had asked to stay behind to speak to her for just one more moment. And when he returned, there was an anger written in the clench of his jaw that Dave had never seen before.

Jason had told everyone to give the kid space. Against his gut instinct, Dave had listened to him. Which he now very much regretted.

"Kid. We all have limits. Nobody can spend every hour of every day hunting down these guys. At the end of the day, we're all just human. I won't lie to you, it will be a lot of people-pleasing. However, it will also- if you let it- be a bit of fun. You're a good agent Hotchner. And an even better person. Let yourself breathe for once."

Aaron looked down. "Thanks Dave."

Dave just shrugged. It was only when Aaron left the room again did he let himself groan. Now he was going to have to pretend to enjoy himself at the function or else Hotchner would just be upset because of his ruined date.

Depending on how you looked at it, the members of the BAU were either lucky or unlucky when no cases turned up the morning of the event. Dave had been watching the fax machine intently, and Max had been looking through a suspicious number of case files the entire day. But in the end, there was nothing.

Which was how Dave found himself standing around, sipping a glass of champagne he thought tasted horrible, talking to strangers he couldn't care less about and silent seething at Hotch. He wasn't there yet, despite phoning Dave to say he would be there in half an hour about forty five minutes ago. 

The only reason he'd bothered to attend and not faked some form of emergency that would let him go on his date with Anya was because he wanted Hotch to have someone to keep him company and make him laugh as he suffered through conversations about being an ex-prosecutor and the change to the FBI.

He was looking round for a waiter so he could take yet another glass when Aaron appeared in the doorway, fiddling with his cuff links. His cheeks were slightly flushed and his hair was more ruffled than usual. As he entered, awkwardly greeting people and tripping over his own feet, Dave rolled his eyes.

How the kid had managed to pass all of his assessments and be the best shot in the entire building was still completely beyond him.

"Hi," Aaron greeted, a dopey grin on his face.

"It's lovely of you to join us," Dave remarked. He just couldn't help it. When Aaron's face fell slightly, he regretted it. He kept forgetting that Aaron took the things people said a bit too literally sometimes. Especially if it came from someone he looked up to.

"I'm sorry about your date being ruined," Hotch said. He was looking around at all the other people in their perfectly tailored suits and beautiful dresses. It made him- with his slightly too big shirt and undone bow tie- look even younger than he already was.

"Well barring any disasters, this should be over in time for me to make it. Anya said she could wait."

There was a slight silence, broken only by Dave rejecting what would have been his third glass of champagne and Aaron quickly accepting it. And then it became too much for him to bear.

"Kid, why is your tie undone?"

Hotch's eyes widened like he had only just realised. Rossi wouldn't have been surprised if that was true. For someone that was a profiler, he was quite oblivious sometimes. Not realising that if you took your vest off and then someone shot at you, you would suffer more than a few bruises, forgetting that his shirt collar wouldn't cover his entire neck, the list went on.

But this was something entirely different. Aaron Hotchner's tie was never undone.

Rossi raised an eyebrow when an entire minute passed without him explaining himself and the colour rose to his cheeks.

"Well, it took me a really long time to do it the first time and then Haley came into our room to grab her bag. And then she really likes it when I get all dressed up because I normally hate doing it- I mean I always hate it- so then she, you know and then I thought I had tied it properly but clearly I hadn't."

Rossi had never heard so many words spoken in a single breath. He did however, understand what the kid was trying to say. "Well at least one of us got to have some fun tonight," he joked.

"Is that why everyone's been staring at me?" Hotch asked, turning his back to Strauss. The woman simply raised an eyebrow, then raised her glass of champagne at Rossi, who glared at her, just because he could.

"Yes," he lied, because he was not about to be the one that explained to him that people were staring at him because he had been deemed the eye candy of the Quantico and therefore, everyone loved him.

"You're lying to me. I can tell! What's the truth?"

Not for the first time, Dave wondered what he'd been thinking when he saw the lead agent in Seattle run after a suspect without any sort of back-up, slip in poison ivy and then carry on running, even though everyone else had realised it wasn't the killer they were after and decided that he would make them into a profiler.

"Are you sure you want to know?" he said, making his voice as serious as he could in a vain attempt to make him change his mind.

"Yes. Because it's nowhere near as bad or as serious as you're making it out to be."

Damn him.

"Fine. But I did warn you. It's because you are- objectively- attractive. And apparently, your slightly repressed accent makes everyone swoon. Also Strauss thinks you have a nice ass," Dave said, completely nonchalant.

Hotch's cheeks went brighter than ever before and he spun round, searching for Erin. She had rather coincidentally turned her back to the two of them as she engaged in a very serious conversation with another Section Chief.

"I- I don't even want to know how you know that," Aaron muttered, stuffing his hands into his trouser pockets, looking like a petulant child.

"Oh I thought you would love it! You're basically a Southern Belle."

Dave was lucky he was immune to the Hotchner Glare as it came out in full force. "Don't call me a Southern Belle. Do you even know what that is?"

Dave shrugged. "I'm sure I could guess. Look, I'm sorry, I'm just being bitter. Come here."

Aaron regarded him suspiciously. "Why?"

If it had been anyone else, Dave would have told them it was a surprise. Or that they wouldn't know until they stepped forward. But Aaron wasn't anyone else, and Dave needed to remember that. There were certain things he just couldn't say.

"We're going to be here for a while. You can't just stand there with your bow tie undone."

Aaron narrowed his eyes, but stepped forward. When Dave reached forward and grabbed the ends, he tensed. To anyone else, it was too minute a gesture to be noticed. But Dave had spent more time reading people than he had with his second wife. He knew why Aaron was tensing. It was why he took as little time as possible tying it neatly, even though he wanted to take forever.

So that the other agents wouldn't be staring and making him self conscious. That was his only reason. It had nothing to do with the attachment he could feel himself forming, and it most definitely was not linked to his desire to help Aaron associate touch with love and comfort.

When he stepped away, Aaron seemed to relax slightly. "Thank you," he said, ever the gentleman.

Dave just shrugged. "You look better with it done properly. Speaking of, where is Haley?"

"What does Haley have to do with me looking better with my tie done properly?"

"Your tie wasn't done properly because of Haley. Come on Hotch, I thought you were meant to be an ex-prosecutor. And we both know the two of you are inseparable."

Hotch flushed, the way he always did when someone mentioned just how in love with Haley he was. Dave found it adorable, even though he hated himself for that. But he knew how important Haley must have been to Aaron's survival, so even though he wasn't her biggest fan, he begrudgingly respected her.

"She's out with her sister," he mumbled. "They made plans ages ago and they've been so excited for it that I couldn't ask her to cancel just to keep me company."

"That's kind of you. Most men probably wouldn't let their spouse just leave them when there's an event like this going on," Dave said. 

"If you want to go on your date I'll cover for you when Strauss comes calling," Aaron said, rather suddenly. 

Rossi frowned at him. Aaron had seemed excited at the thought of spending the evening together when he first arrived and for him to suddenly seem so willing to spend it apart, just so Dave could go on a date with someone who he was sure was lovely but he couldn't envision a future with, was more than a little unusual.

"Like I said, barring any disasters, I should be able to make it. Are you annoyed at me for bringing up Haley? I know that we had a bit of a rocky start when we first met, but I do respect her. And I like to think she appreciates the fact that I keep you alive."

"I'm not annoyed at you for bringing up Haley," Hotch said, huffing slightly. He was fiddling with his cufflinks. Dave wanted to comment on his behaviour, but did not want to be reminded of the no-profiling rule- which Hotch himself had implemented.

"Well you're annoyed at me for something and I would appreciate you telling me, instead of just bottling it up until we're on a case and something else happens."

"Dave, I am fine," Hotch snapped, tone mitigating his words.

"I'm sure you are," Rossi snapped back, turning away. Strauss was frowning at the two of them and he rolled his eyes. Screw etiquette, and screw the people that thought they were being unprofessional and causing a scene.

They were, but he wasn't going to admit it.

"Do you really think I would forbid my wife to do something as harmless as going out with her sister the same night that I have to attend quite possibly the most boring function known to man?" Hotch suddenly asked, tone laced with malice.

"Of course not Hotshot. I was joking," he said, softening his tone as the problem clicked.

"I wouldn't. I'm not her keeper. And I'm not-" he caught himself, shaking his head. "I just wouldn't."

"I know. I'm sorry, it was wrong of me to joke that like that," Dave said, catching Erin's eye. She nodded, clearly pleased that he had resolved something without resorting to violence or shouting.

He didn't acknowledge her. He wasn't an idiot, and he knew that resorting to violence or even raising his voice would lead to some sort of shut down from Aaron. And he did want the kid to enjoy himself, even though he did agree that playing politics whilst people were dying was stupid.

"The decoration is nice," Aaron commented, a few minutes later.

"It is, isn't it? It reminds me of this opera house I took Carolyn to, for one of our anniversaries. Actually, that opera house seems like the sort of place Haley would enjoy going to. I'll give you the name, you can surprise her," Dave said, deciding he would take the win and prod later.

Aaron choked on his champagne, colour rising to his cheeks when he realised people were watching him cough. He cleared his throat once more before turning to Dave, making absolutely no attempt to hide his shit-eating grin.

"What?" Dave said, hating himself for taking the bait.

"I have to tell Haley that you think she's the kind of person that would go and enjoy herself at an opera house."

"Is she not?"

"Dave, for our last anniversary, I took her to the local theatre because they were putting on Pirates of Penzance because that's what got us together. And the year before that, we both thought it was a week later than what it was, so her sister ended up taking us out."

Maybe Dave wasn't as good a profiler as he thought he was, because in his mind, he had a very specific image of Haley, and none of what had just been said fit with that image. He supposed that was what he got for making assumptions, having never actually met her in person.

"Oh, that's certainly interesting," Dave said.

"She's a very interesting woman," Hotch said, smiling so wide it physically hurt Rossi to see because he knew how the BAU burnt out love, and the strain it put on marriages. Hell, he had lived through it.

"Hold onto her Aaron," he said, without thinking.

Aaron frowned. "Of course I will. Dave, you've been acting weird the whole time we've been here. Are you okay?"

In all honesty, he wasn't. He always said he wasn't like Jason. He had no interest in being a mentor, or finding the next generation of profilers. That was never what he wanted. But there was something about Aaron, and his too large suits and his floppy hair that made him feel things he wasn't ready to confront. 

But if he said any of that, Aaron would probably run for the hills. Hell, he probably would too.

"Of course I am. Now loosen up and enjoy yourself. I can tell you want to," he said, smiling when Aaron's eyes sparkled.

"What do you think Strauss would do if I told her I know what she thinks about my butt?" he asked, the smirk on his face far too mischevious for anyone's comfort.

"You can find out now," Dave said, nodding as Strauss approached them.

"Dave. Aaron, you look very handsome," Erin said, looking him up and down once.

Whatever had possessed Aaron just a few moments before had clearly vanished, as his cheeks flushed and he awkwardly stuttered out something that nobody, not even the person speaking, understood.

"Thank you… Ma'am. You look very nice too," he eventually managed to say, sipping his champagne to distract from his failure at speaking.

"Is there something you need?" Dave said.

"No, just making sure you weren't too bitter about your date being cancelled. And also making sure that Agent Hotchner would save both of us a dance after dinner. I'm sure everyone from Quantico wants to know whether or not our Southern Belle can dance," Erin said.

Hotch downed the rest of his glass. "I'm not- it doesn't work like- I don't- I really don't think- fine. One dance. But that is it, and none of you are allowed to laugh if I mess up, because I'm not the dancer. Haley is."

Haley seemed to be a lot of things that Aaron wasn't. Maybe it was part of the reason they were so well-matched.

Erin nodded, smiled at them both, then went to mingle with different people.

"See, everyone thinks you're a Southern Belle!" Dave said, smirking.

"But why? I've done everything I can to repress my accent, and I have done since the day I started law school," Aaron said. He did not whine, because grown men that worked for the FBI do not whine. But if they did, his sentence would have definitely sounded like whining.

"I know, and most days, it's only the slightest thing. I don't really know how everyone worked it out, but they did. And that's fine!"

Hotch pouted.

"Look, if you really don't want to dance, you could always land yourself in the hospital with some kind of injury. I could take you, sneak off to my date, Haley would affectionately roll her eyes and then give you all the kisses you want…" Rossi said, smirking.

"No it's fine. I'm not going to fake an injury, that would be so embarrassing," Hotch replied.

"Then stop pouting, you look like a child. And go mingle with someone else, if you spend the entire time before dinner with me, what will people say?"

Hotch snorted, then schooled his face into a look of neutrality, before nodding and going off to speak to one of the other higher-ups. Rossi noticed, rather fondly, that it was the one person that actually cared about the people involved in their cases, as opposed to just the politics and the prestige.

About five minutes later, he realised he missed the kid. And then he started to panic. Because he didn't get attached to people. Especially not new agents that had too much hope and faith. Not new agents that were that nice. He didn't. He couldn't.

Him and Aaron ended up seated next to each other at the banquet table, because there genuinely was no other way to describe it. It was long, and grand, and every platter was filled to the brim with food of so many different types. Dave honestly could not remember what the function was actually for, but a part of him was tempted to comment that if part of the budget for these events went to the BAU then they'd probably be able to properly fund the unit.

He refrained, if only because Aaron looked so excited at the prospect of finally eating something. Dave had learnt long ago that you had to eat before you came to these events because people loved talking and more often than not, you'd drink the champagne just to get through their conversations, but clearly Aaron hadn't quite learnt that lesson yet.

"So where is that wife of yours?" Max asked, seemingly out of the blue.

Hotch tensed. "Out with her sister. Why?"

"I've only seen you smile like you are now when Haley is around, but I don't see her anywhere," he said, in that annoyingly patronising tone of his.

Hotch relaxed, but flushed. "I-oh. Yeah. She's out with Jessica because they had made plans a while back and they don't really see each other as much anymore because Haley's busy teaching and doing the school production, and Jessica's getting her Masters so," he trailed off.

"I think it's lovely, how much you love Haley," Erin added.

Dave snorted into his glass, not at the fact that Aaron looked so uncomfortable but at the fact that these people hunted down serial killers and criminals for a living, and yet the thing they got the most joy from was teasing a kid about his marriage.

"Right, that's enough being mean to the newbie. What about dessert?" Dave said.

Aaron flashed him a grateful smile. He just shook his head. He remembered when he’d turned up to his first event, Carolyn in awe of all the decorations and outfits, and everyone else had been ruthless with their teasing. He wasn’t about to let Hotch suffer that same fate. He’d probably faint with embarrassment.

Erin laughed at the two of them, and Jason smiled at Dave’s defensiveness over his new protege. One day. One day Jason would get Dave to admit that the way he felt towards Aaron was nothing short of paternal. Max just rolled his eyes, but the waiters came to clear their plates before he could make another biting comment.

Aaron excused himself to the bathroom, and then the dessert was brought out. Dave, being the saint he was, switched his and Aaron’s plates because he wasn’t getting younger and he knew he was meant to be cutting down on his sugar. So if Aaron had the bigger slice, then it would do them both a favour. And it had a whole strawberry to decorate it, not just the jam.

Erin was giving him one of his looks when their eyes met and he resisted the urge to stick his tongue out. He knew what that look meant. It meant Erin had an opinion on whatever he had just done, and it was one he wouldn’t like or approve of. 

“Look, it’s strawberry cheesecake!” Dave exclaimed, poking his fork in Aaron’s direction in an attempt to distract from Erin’s gaze.

The smile that had been plastered across Aaron’s face since they’d been sat down- and Dave really didn’t want to think that it was as a result of Erin’s comment about his butt, although it was the only thing that made sense- faded, and the colour seemed to drain from his face.

“What is it? Come on, you must love dessert, you’re the kid,” Dave said, slightly teasing.

Aaron opened his mouth, seemingly contemplating saying something that he thought would ruin the entire evening, but then he closed it and gave Dave a forced, tight-lipped smile. He almost pushed, but they had been having fun, so he just grinned back and urged Hotch to eat it.

If anyone noticed him wince as he swallowed each bite, or the fear that flickered in his eyes when he ate the strawberry, they didn’t comment. For that, he was grateful. He still had no idea what he was meant to do when the inevitable happened, but so long as nobody realised, he had time to work it out. All he needed was time.

He did really miss Haley though. If Haley had been there, she would have said something on his behalf because she would have known there was no way he would do it himself. It was too late to turn back now though. There was a tiny part of him that secretly hoped he’d outgrown it, but the moment he felt stomach cramps forming, he knew that was wishful thinking. Still, if he was lucky, nothing too serious would happen until he got home. Haley would panic, take him to the hospital and everything would be fine. Nobody else would have to know.

Or so he thought.

He’d gotten so good at not eating strawberries that he had completely forgotten just how badly, and quickly, the effects would hit him. He had forgotten just how allergic he was to the fruit. And he was aware of how stupid that sounded, but it was just one of those things.

Dave was staring. So was Erin. He cleared his throat, awkwardly looking down. When the waiters came out once more to clear the plates away, he smiled at them, hoping his cheeks didn’t seem flushed, or his palms too clammy.

“You promised me a dance,” Dave said, nudging his elbow.

“I did, didn’t I?” Aaron responded, hoping his voice didn’t sound too strained. When he stood up, his vision went slightly fuzzy and unfocused, and he found himself grabbing the table in order to stay upright.

He was going to be fine. All he had to do was make it through another few hours, and there was always a delay between his vision blurring and breathing becoming difficult, so with just a bit of luck, he could still do it.

Luck had never really been on his side.

Erin was standing, talking to Dave, and he couldn’t remember what he was meant to be doing, or why nobody was dancing. Maybe they had just been teasing him when they said he owed them both a dance. Or maybe they were waiting for him to do something. Either way, the confusion wasn’t helping him function.

“Kid, what’s happened to your hand?” Dave said suddenly. It reminded him of that time his cousin had eaten shellfish, but that didn’t make sense. There was no way Aaron had hit adulthood without realising he was allergic to the things they’d eaten.

Aaron stared at him.

Erin grabbed his wrist, the look that crossed her face one of fear and panic. “Aaron.” 

It couldn’t be. There was no way the ugly red rash forming on his hand as they watched him was being caused by an allergic reaction. It just couldn’t, because Hotchner may have been stupid and irresponsible, but there was no way he was that irresponsible.

He cleared his throat.

“Now would be a terrible time to tell you that I’m allergic to strawberries, wouldn’t it?” he rapsed.

Dave’s jaw dropped. “You’re what?”

Aaron Hotchner’s timing had never been good. It had actually always been abysmal. He was born early, in both senses of the word, met the girl he would end up marrying on the last day before a three month holiday which she would spend out of the state, and was generally just not smooth with the way he did things.

So as if on cue, he fell to the ground, completely losing consciousness. Clearly the delay between his vision growing blurry and his breathing becoming shallow was not the large space of time he thought it would be.

“Aaron!” Dave yelled.

Erin dropped to her knees by her side. “Dave, phone for an ambulance. Now.” 

Dave blinked a few times, then realised what she was asking him to do and ran out the room to find the phone. When he was patched through, he realised he had no idea if what Aaron was experiencing was just a reaction, or anaphylactic shock, but he just explained himself as best he could, only relaxing when they said it was likely everything would be fine and they would be there soon.

He re-entered the room only two minutes later, and Aaron was still in the recovery position.

“The idiot doesn’t have an EpiPen on him. I don’t know why, but he doesn’t, so now we literally have to wait until the ambulance gets here and hope for the best,” Erin said, some strange mix of angry and terrified.

“He doesn’t have his- what kind of- why not?” Dave said.

When he looked around the room, he realised it was suddenly startlingly empty. It was just Erin, him, Aaron- who still hadn’t come around- and Jason. Max was suspiciously absent. He figured that was for the best. If anyone would make the situation more awkward than it already was, it’d be Max.

“He managed to get everyone to go downstairs, then said he would stay with them. We figured the less people around when he woke up, the less embarrassed Hotchner would be,” Jason explained. “And on that note, I’ll go explain to the paramedics what happened,” he added, as sirens filled the air.

“Dave, when did our lives suddenly become co-parenting this mess of an adult if only so he gets home safe to Haley?” Erin suddenly asked.

“We don’t co-parent him. No. We just… look after him the way we would do with any other new agent that was his age,” Dave said, although he wasn’t even convincing himself. Erin didn’t respond, just looked at him with that glint in her eye.

He didn’t get the chance to carry on with his argument because Jason entered with the paramedics, and him and Erin moved away. It seemed like they had already been informed that Aaron didn’t have an EpiPen on him, because the first thing they did was inject him. There was one terrifying moment, in which Erin grabbed his wrist, where Dave thought they were too late, but they weren’t. 

Aaron opened his eyes, obviously disoriented and immediately after lifting his head, let it hit the floor again. He seemed far too pale, but nothing gave the impression that he was going to be sick, so Dave relaxed. When he and Erin were finally able to go over, Aaron was almost done answering their questions, some of the colour returning to his face in the form of flushed cheeks.

If he was capable of embarrassment, then everything was going to be fine.

“We’re going to need to take him to the hospital for observation and to make sure he doesn’t have a secondary reaction, but one of you is welcome to come. In fact, it would be preferred, wouldn’t it Aaron?” one of the paramedics said.

Aaron nodded, not quite meeting anyone’s eyes.

“Dave, you should go. Aaron, I don’t want to see you in the office until you’ve been cleared both by the doctors and by Haley to return. Do you understand me?” Erin chastised, sound every bit the mother Aaron had never had.

He nodded miserably, closing his eyes, and for a few moments, Dave felt terrible for him because so many pieces seemed to be falling into place now. And then he remembered that the whole thing had been caused by Aaron not saying he was allergic. He still felt terrible, but he also wondered what the hell he was meant to say to Haley.

“Come on kiddo,” he said as gently as he could, helping Aaron to his feet and into the elevator.

When he was safely sat in the ambulance, and they were well on their way to the hospital, he raised an eyebrow at Aaron who pulled a face.

“Don’t,” he protested weakly.

“So you’re allergic to strawberries,” Dave said. “How long have you been sitting on that piece of information for?”

“I’ve known since I was four and ended up in the hospital after I went strawberry picking with my mother and ate one of them.”

“Aaron, nobody was going to be offended. You could have just said something, it would have been okay. Really, you can’t judge someone just because they have an allergy, and everyone would have just moved on. You didn’t need to eat it.”

Aaron swallowed. “When I was eight, my father bought strawberry tarts for my mother and I, because he knew she had friends round and he wanted to seem like a dutiful husband. He didn’t- she’d kept the first time a secret from him because he’d been out of town. And when she tried to tell him, he said I was being difficult, then he made me eat it whilst she told her friends everything was fine. I only survived because she snuck in with my EpiPen.”

“Oh kid,” Dave said, chilled to the bone.

He shook his head. “I knew, realistically, that nobody would say anything, but I just couldn’t shake the memory of being told that if I was going to waste food, then I didn’t deserve it.”

“Aaron, that’s not-”

“I know that. Now at least. Thanks for not reacting weirdly. Or thinking less of me.”

“Agent Hotchner- are you still esquire, oh it doesn’t matter, esquire- nothing would ever make me think less of you. Especially not this. It wasn’t your fault. It was never your fault, and I know it’s easy for me to see, but I need you to know that.”

Aaron gave him a slight smile, eyes watering. “Thank you Dave.”

“I do have one question though. Where the fuck was your EpiPen?”

He made a sound, one that Dave was not going to dignify by actually naming in his head.

“That didn’t sound like an answer young man,” he teased.

Aaron sighed. “It- okay. My blazer pockets weren’t big enough to fit it, and I figured strawberries isn’t exactly a common thing, so it would be fine if I left it in the car, but then I didn’t want to say anything, and then I passed out before I could- oh.”

“What?”

“Did everyone see me collapse?”

Dave considered lying, but Aaron had bared his soul to him. He owed him this small piece of honesty. “Yes, but they also witnessed me running like a headless chicken to get to the phone and Erin completely freaking out, so it’s all okay. I promise.”

Aaron nodded, not fully convinced. “Thank you. For caring.”

And one day, Dave would teach him that caring was what people did for each other. That it wasn’t something he had to earn, or something that would be snatched away at the smallest transgression. He would teach him that the love he had always deserved but never been shown was going to come from more than just Haley. It was going to come from every single good person he knew.

But in that moment, he just leant over and ruffled his hair. And maybe the gesture was paternal, but he could live with that.

“Mrs Hotchner’s been waiting for you all to arrive,” the receptionist said the moment they came through the doors. Aaron relaxed at the mention of his wife.

“You can send her in as soon as we go in. He’s been treated, we’re just keeping him for observation,” the paramedic said. The receptionist nodded and turned to one of their colleagues, who immediately got up.

Dave hung around as they got him situated, wondering when would be an appropriate time to leave. He didn’t want to step on Haley’s toes, or make her feel like she wasn’t trusted, but he also didn’t really want to leave either of them. Not if the real timeline matched the one he’d created in his head. She would have just been a child too, but children always believed that they needed to save everyone and anything less was a failure. He didn’t know how to say that their job was to be a child, and it was on the adults to keep them safe without patronising the two of them.

So he sat instead, keeping Aaron company until he was no longer needed.

Haley came rushing in the moment she was allowed to, her eyes slightly red. They must have told her how severe the situation was, and Dave felt guilty for making her panic so much, when Aaron was doing much better already.

“Baby, they told me what happened. How are you feeling? Is your heartbeat erratic? Is there anything you need?” she asked, not even acknowledging Dave. He wasn’t offended though. The love Haley had for her husband was the most fierce thing he’d witnessed, and now he understood. She’d spent her entire life defending him and the love she had for him.

He shook his head, then grinned at her. “Kiss me?” he asked, and for a moment, he was just a normal man, so in love with his wife it physically hurt to witness.

“I shouldn’t- me and Jess had strawberry margaritas before we got the phone call. She’s coming round tomorrow to check on you herself by the way,” Haley said, brushing his hair off his head with a smile.

Aaron nodded. “I’d expect nothing less. Oh Haley, this is Dave. And Dave, this is Haley.”

“It’s lovely to meet you,” Dave said. 

“You too. So, what happened? Because you told me it was just a function, and then when I got home, there was a message from the hospital that you were being brought in for anaphylactic shock which doesn’t make any sense because you don’t eat strawberries anymore!” Haley said.

Aaron had the decency to look away. “I didn’t want to cause a scene so I ate this slice of strawberry cheesecake. And I thought it would be fine- well not fine, don’t look at me like that. I thought I’d be able to last till I got home. I’m sorry.”

“Baby, I’m not angry, don’t worry,” Haley said, taking his hand. “Just do what the doctors say, okay? And please don’t eat strawberries anymore just to be polite.”

“I’m afraid I may have made it worse,” Dave confessed, needing them to know, even though it had not been intentional, by any stretch of the imagination.

“What do you mean? How?” Haley asked. Aaron lifted his arm enough to signal that he had the same question.

“I switched our plates when they got given to us so Aaron had the bigger slice. It also had a whole strawberry on it, instead of just half a slice. Maybe if I hadn’t done that, his reaction would have been less severe. I’m sorry.”

Haley, in spite of, or maybe because of that single comment, started laughing. Aaron just watched her laugh with a smile on his face like he had never seen something so beautiful, and he probably never had. Dave watched them, confusion across his features.

“I’m sorry. It’s not funny. It’s just- Dave you have nothing to apologise for. He was always going to have a reaction. And given that he didn’t even have his EpiPen-”

“It was in the car,” Aaron said, not quite whining but definitely getting close.

“Didn’t have his EpiPen,” Haley said, like Aaron hadn’t even spoken, “it was probably always going to end like this. I’m just laughing because you sound like such a parent. Like switching slices is something my dad did for me and Jess when we were little. It’s cute.”

Aaron looked to Dave, fearful and hopeful all at once.

“What can I say? Erin and I need to make sure someone keeps an eye on him,” he said. There were a lot of things in his life he wasn’t proud of. There were lots of mistakes he had made. But this? Being considered Aaron’s parent? It would never be one of them.

Aaron smiled at him, the light in his eyes returning. Haley nodded her approval. When the nurse came in a few minutes later to check Aaron’s vitals, the silence felt comfortable and natural, as though they had already become attuned to the others’ needs.

“Are you two going to be okay?” Dave asked. Someone needed to tell Erin that he was okay, and he really wanted to go to bed. He realised that he hadn’t even considered trying to salvage his date with Anya. He supposed they could always reschedule. Besides, Aaron was more important now.

Haley nodded. “Yeah, I’ll drive us home, make sure he takes a bath and have him back and safe with you on Monday, don’t worry.”

Dave stood up and started heading towards the door. “Oh don’t worry too much about rushing back to us. I’m sure we’ll survive. His cute butt will be missed, but we’ll make it through.”

Haley snorted. “Aaron didn’t I say that there was no way people hadn’t noticed?”

Aaron did not reply, but he did glare at both of them.

Dave smiled. Just before he left, he hesitated for a moment, wondering whether or not it was the time and the place. But he just couldn’t resist. “So are there any other allergies we need to be aware of? Shellfish, pollen, nuts? Pretty ladies that want you to call them back?”

“Dave!” Aaron said, and this time it was definitely a whine.

He just smiled, leaving Aaron and Haley in the hospital room. Had it been a normal event? No. But he wouldn’t trade the night for anything in the world. After all, he had just found a whole new family. And he couldn’t wait for Haley to meet Erin. The two of them would definitely cause Hotcher a whole new level of embarrassment.

It was going to be the messiest and most random family to exist, but a family nonetheless.

[locktobre]

bcbd thoughts

right away I see that this is only an hour long, so... it’s not a movie, then. it’s a one hour special, again. I feel like I’m already gonna miss the extra 20 minutes just like dolphin magic but we’ll see I guess. maybe it’ll be a mercy that it’s shorter.

the opening credits/dream sequence was nice. the animation on the city is decent, and the monochrome thing was kind of cool.

her being on stage reminded me a little of Eden, and then immediately I missed Eden so much. they would never let a version of Babs be a bitch now and that’s such a shame.

so now we’re joking about George tracking Barbie’s cell phone? bc that’s fine and not at all an invasion of privacy or anything. also, you can check flight statuses on the internet so that’s really not necessary. also, why the fuck didn’t Barbie call them once she got off the plane? or at least text? I always text or call my mom when I land, and frankly I’m not even as close to my mom as Barbie claims to be to her parents. and I did that when I was 17 traveling alone, too, so it’s not just something I do as an adult. it’s part of the responsibility of traveling to let ppl know that you got somewhere safe so they don’t worry about you. what the fuck Babs.

was that honking supposed to be like censoring the cabbie swearing bc I would love that. let the cabbie say fuck.

I still maintain that this “summer program” thing is bullshit and Babs should have been going off to college. I know they won’t let her grow up but it makes more sense than this does. also, you’re telling me there’s no summer programs for acting/whatever in LA? seriously? she HAD to go across the country for this? and her parents let her? they don’t even trust her! they said that 2 seconds ago! or is tracking her cell phone the reason she’s allowed to travel across the country (to Willows and Florida and Hawaii) by herself in the first place? I hate this I hate it so much already

The Handler Arts Academy... oh I’m feeling emotions

“luck’s got nothing to do with it. you worked your tail off for this” SHOW ME FOR WHEN, PLEASE. this could have been an actual arc of the show, a goal Barbie was working towards that could thread thru multiple episodes... but no. this came out of nowhere. I’m STILL saying that Amelia bought Barbie’s place here bc FUCK YOU SHOW

“I hope I’m good enough” you’re a mediocre rich white woman, you can do literally anything you want.

why is her guitar shoved in a cardboard box and not, idk, in a guitar case? that’s stupid. also, that’s an open cardboard box, so how did that travel on the plane? a closed cardboard box, fine. should be a suitcase, but fine. but this just makes no sense and I am not going to let it slide bc I hate this continuity and everything about it.

however, I will give Brooklyn a pass for the open cardboard box bc she literally lives in NYC and didn’t have to take a fucking plane to get here. she can carry it like that if she wants.

“as long as you don’t break [my leg], we’re good” I’ve already seen Brooklyn in a cast, so... does Malibu literally break her leg later on? even on accident... jesus christ.

is this Russian(?) custodian lady gonna be the antagonist/villain? bc I’m already not vibing with that. not at fucking all.

how the FUCK could they show up a day early? why would they not show up on the day they’re supposed to? that doesn’t make any sense! and if they’re NOT supposed to be there yet, then there would be no staff there to watch them, so they should have to come back tomorrow! they shouldn’t be allowed to be by themselves in a school like this! I’m assuming this is to facilitate a day of bonding without stupid things like classes in the way, but they could have written an orientation day or something in that would have made more sense, and as I said, I am not inclined to give them a pass on anything these days. fuck you all.

so, room assignments are alphabetical... I guess that kind of explains them being in the same room, altho it does feel coincidental that they wouldn’t be, like, in neighboring rooms. also they didn’t animate little signs on the other doors, even with nonsense text if they didn’t want to put other names up, so their door really sticks out for no reason. also, shouldn’t it say “Barbie Roberts & Barbie Roberts” or some other way of having both names on the door? also, if the school knows they have the same name, couldn’t they put middle initials or something? we know Malibu is Barbie M. Roberts, and I will generously assume that Brooklyn’s middle name is something else, so that would have been fine. this really feels like the administrators don’t give a fuck, and in a supposedly prestigious school, I don’t buy that.

so, Brooklyn has been training every summer in different programs, very intensely, to get in here... and Malibu trained on the internet. what have I been saying about Malibu’s white mediocrity? hmm?

even after that (lackluster) montage, it feels way too soon for “Before Us.” I don’t believe they’re best friends who warrant a song about their friendship. I don’t believe that at all.

I like the bald fashionista being on the billboard, that’s a nice touch.

Malibu bringing up her vlog like that gives me hives. she has already stated multiple times that she does that to help ppl, not for clout, and yet. here she is. being a fake ass bitch once again.

Brooklyn and Emmie’s story is already way more interesting than this and I’m pissed that’s just backstory.

LOVE that green-haired dude. idk where you’re going with that drum but godspeed my dude.

I’m assuming that’s Emmie incognito in the back, but... what’s she doing here if she’s already famous? pulling an Erika Juno?

Dean Morrison seems cool

(is it too early to ship Brooklyn x Emmie?)

if pets are allowed in this school, I’m SHOCKED Malibu didn’t bring Taffy. truly fucking shocked.

Rafa reminds me so much of Jacques Rousseau

“the only labels we believe in are designer” so Rafa’s gay, right? Barbie’s first gay character? I can only assume

the ballet thing still doesn’t make sense to me, if their goal is to be on Broadway. ballet is an entire art and discipline in itself.

fencing makes more sense, bc stage fighting is a thing.

‘work it’ is even funnier than I imagined. Malibu you’re such a fuck up. and I can’t even cut you some slack bc earlier you said your training was “internet.” you didn’t work for this and you don’t belong here. die.

if this was PCS, Malibu would have been kicked out already. YOU WERE NOT PREPARED FOR THIS. WHAT HAVE I BEEN SAYING FOR MONTHS.

so, the ‘work it’ montage clearly showed the passage of time, it’s been at least a week, and... Malibu hasn’t talked to Ken at all during that time? this is the first time she’s telling him about Brooklyn?

ok, confirmed to be a week. and she hasn’t talked to Ken. of course. they are so close of course she hasn’t talked to him in a week, especially when she’s been struggling so much and would need to vent to a friend about it. of course.

so, Emmie is pulling an Erika Juno. at least she’s in disguise.

jesus christ, they’re really having Emmie be exploited by her own father??? JESUS.

ok Brooklyn x Emmie is sailing.

Brooklyn’s mom is an airline pilot, that sounds cool.

so the dresses are powered by the magic of friendship? cool. that’s stupid.

of COURSE Emmie’s dad is the board member. jesus christ I hate this dude.

okay, so she DIDN’T break her leg, it’s only a sprain. thank god. poor green-haired drum dude.

saying “epic fail” in 2021 unironically is not cool, mattel. unless I’m even more out of touch with the youth than I thought, but I’m pretty sure about that.

wait, so Brooklyn was dancing... and now she’s on crutches again? what is this montage? they fucked up here.

of all things to kick Malibu out for, they’re saying she pushed Brooklyn? why not all the fuck ups in her first week?

also, Rafa was taping that class so how do they not bring that up immediately? that’s the whole reason they were dancing over there in the first place! (so he might not have caught anything, but still, I have to assume that’s going to fix this bc that’s what these movies do.)

I really like Malibu’s leather jacket look, but she does look a little bit old I think. Brooklyn’s leggings look is nice, too.

okay, so Brooklyn suddenly believes the unnamed witness over the girl she sang ‘before us’ with? okay. I told you this friendship was a crock of shit. they don’t trust each other at all! Brooklyn should have been angry when she first fell, and it builds to thinking that she was sabotaged, but she brushed it off... and now she’s pissed. that makes no sense.

this friendship breakup song also means nothing to me bc their friendship fell apart for such a stupid reason. fate didn’t tear you apart, you tore yourselves apart by not trusting each other. stupid little children.

if Brooklyn’s ankle isn’t completely healed aka still painful, she should not be dancing on it, she could injure herself more or at least prolong the healing process.

ok, so NOW, after Malibu has already been expelled and sent back home, they remembered the video. these kids are so fucking stupid. and of COURSE the unnamed witness is Mr Miller! Emmie, you ALREADY KNOW that your dad is shady as shit and wants you to get the Spotlight Solo! HOW DID YOU NOT PUT THIS TOGETHER IN 5 SECONDS? I DID

so, Mr Miller thought Malibu was Emmie’s biggest competition for the solo? Malibu, the spectacular fuck up? not Brooklyn? or any of the background extras? I refuse to fucking believe that. I REFUSE.

how did George and Margaret just let Malibu get expelled without flying out there to fight the charge? seriously?

how is is Brooklyn singing ‘before us’ in-universe such that Malibu recognizes it? you’re breaking the conventions of musicals! I don’t get this!

I like Brooklyn’s mom being a pilot less after it’s been used to facilitate this bullshit part of the plot.

again, just “Barbie Roberts” makes no sense. where’s a middle initial to differentiate them! SOMETHING! I know they’re doing the finale together, but still, it’s STUPID.

shipping Rafa x green-haired drummer dude bc I can

where’s the Emmie doll for this movie?????? I’m so disappointed. also the other outfits, the leather jacket and leggings ones, I swear those weren’t dolls either. what the fuck

I see more fashionistas on billboards at the end! I really like that

so the custodian wasn’t a villain... then why that introduction for her? that went nowhere

is “Big City Big Dreams” supposed to be Emmie’s song? that Malibu lips-synced to on her vlog (apparently)? I can’t tell by the voice and they don’t list the voices for the songs in the credits

overall, once again it largely made no sense. idk if it would have benefitted from 20 extra minutes of screentime bc nothing really happened.

also, what the fuck happened to Mr Miller? he just keeps on exploiting his daughter? and for that matter, what happened to Emmie’s mom? bc she lived with her, and then all of the sudden her dad was in her life again and exploiting her, so... what did mom die? did he kill her? what am I supposed to think? and Emmie’s STILL stuck in that situation? girl. what the fuck

also of course they were too cowardly to confirm anything about Rafa. of course.

[crystalstar8]

Knights of the Night (ch 23)

Chapter 23

Ch 1, ch 2, ch 3, ch 4, ch 5, ch 6, ch 7, ch 8, ch 9, ch 10, ch 11, ch 12, ch 13, ch 14, ch 15, ch 16, ch 17, ch 18, ch 19, ch 20, ch 21, ch 22, ch 23

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29139240/chapters/71536491

pairing: Jungkook x oc

genre: vampire au, college au, twilight, romance

word count: 3,393

warnings: blood (obviously), kidnapping, child kidnapping, needles, France, human trafficking

notes: vampires, vampire au, college, college au, so many twilight references, blood, needles, kidnapping, children, homelessness, dance, ballet, flashbacks, romance, slow burn, probably no smut, idk yet tho, France, French things, attempted genocide, inaccurate French history, bisexual main character, @strawberriewithchocolate-blog @mozy-j  @daechwitad-2​ @zobadak​ @fallenstar-7​​​

summary: Catalina starts college in a small town all the way across the country. She doesn’t know anyone and isn’t exactly looking for friends. She just wants to focus on dance. But when she meets fellow dance major, Jimin, and adventurous, fellow freshman, Jungkook, Catalina ends up discovering a whole new side to the small college town; one that is dangerous but oh so enticing...

The hallway was quiet outside Taehyung’s room, but she could hear voices downstairs. She couldn’t remember if she had her phone on her before she… well, before she died. But when she checked her pockets, it was right there, fully charged. She smiled.

               Her smile dropped when she tried to open her phone and it didn’t recognize her face, refusing to unlock without the number code.

               “You’ve gotta be kidding me,” she mumbled. “I don’t look that different.”

               She had several missed calls and texts from her mom. It looked like her mom was keeping her eyes on the news and saw something about the raid at the abandoned hospital. She clearly panicked when she couldn’t get ahold of her. The last text told her to call when she woke up. She checked her calls. There was one outgoing call to her mom. One of the guys must have called her.

               She sat down against the wall in the hallway and tapped her mom’s contact. The phone didn’t even ring twice before she picked up.

               “Mi hija, is that you?” she answered, her voice frantic.

               “Yeah mom, it’s me,” said Catalina. “I’m okay, sorry I worried you.”

               “A young man named Hoseok called me and told me you were in the hospital?” Lucía asked. “I heard there was some sort of explosion downtown and you were nearby. I tried to fly over there but the city is in lockdown-“

               “Mom, slow down,” Catalina said with a laugh. “I promise I’m okay. I’m back home with the boys and honestly, I feel great.”

               “Were you unconscious all that time?” Lucía asked. “Did you have some kind of head injury? Those don’t just go away so easily.”

               “Yeah, I was asleep for a while, but my head is perfectly fine,” said Catalina. “I just got my phone charged up, that’s why I wasn’t able to call you until now.”

               She hated lying to her mom, but clearly the guys didn’t want her knowing the truth. Catalina knew that was for the best. They couldn’t just go around telling people about all this. She knew someday her mom would need to know, but now wasn’t the time.

               “Okay, I’m so happy you’re okay,” Lucía said. “Please call every day until your poor mom is satisfied.”

               Catalina laughed and said, “Sure mom. I can do that.”

               “The boys are taking care of you, right?” Lucía asked. “Is Jungkook there?”

               “Yeah, they’re taking good care of me,” said Catalina, her heart skipping a beat at the mention of her boyfriend. “Jungkook is here, he’s downstairs. I have to go now mom. I’ll call you again tomorrow.”

               “Okay, cariña,” said Lucía. “I’ll let you go. I love you so much.”

               “I love you too, mom,” said Catalina. She hung up and looked down at her phone. She wondered how she’d be able to tell her mom about everything that happened. About what she was now.

               She sent a text to Hoseok, telling him to meet her by Taehyung’s room. He sent her back a thumbs up emoji and was there within a minute. Catalina stood up and looked at him. He didn’t look all that different. She wondered how badly he was hurt. But first…

               She pulled him into a tight hug.

               “Thank you,” she said. “For saving me.”

               “I did it without your consent,” he mumbled into her shoulder. “I thought you would hate me.”

               “I don’t hate you,” she said, pulling away to wipe away his gathering tears. “I wasn’t ready to go. I’m glad you did what you did.”

               He hugged her again, then Catalina said, “I heard you were hurt at the fight.”

               “It wasn’t that bad,” said Hoseok. “Tae tae likes to exaggerate.”

               Catalina laughed.

               “I can’t wait to hear the whole story,” she said. “But first, I wanna see my boyfriend. I was told I needed a chaperone.”

               Hoseok smiled and said, “I’ll be your chaperone! You look okay right now, but seriously, be careful getting close to him.”

               “I feel fine,” said Catalina. “I think I should be okay.”

               “Trust me, you will not feel that way when you get close to him,” said Hoseok, his face getting serious. “I remember what it was like to be new. It’s like, you can’t always control yourself. If you get really close to him, he’s gonna smell irresistible. Literally. It’s going to be really hard not to just bite into his pulse-“

               “That sounds sexy,” said Catalina.

               “It’s not,” said Hoseok. “You won’t be able to stop. Not when you’re this new. You could literally kill him in less than a minute.”

               “Yeah, that’s not sexy,” said Catalina.

               “I would suggest being…chaste for a while,” said Hoseok. “At least until you’re well fed for a few weeks.”

               “Weeks? In Twilight, it takes years,” said Catalina.

               “This is not Twilight,” Hoseok said, laughing. “The only vampires that sparkle like that are the ones at San Francisco pride.”

               Catalina laughed loudly at that, following him towards the stairs.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

               Jungkook leapt from the couch as soon as Catalina came into the room. Namjoon, who was sitting next to him, was faster in pulling him back.

               “Guk,” Catalina said, itching to finally hold him. He was staring at her with wide eyes, taking in her face and hair and body.

               “Cat,” he whispered, slowly approaching. Namjoon and Hoseok watched them carefully as they met in the middle, enveloping each other in a tight hug. Too tight, if the pop Catalina felt in his back and the groan he let out was anything to go by. She quickly loosened her grip, adjusting herself so her face was buried in his chest instead of his neck. Hoseok was right. He did smell irresistible. His heartbeat and pulse were loud in her ears and the smell coming off of him was making her thirsty again. Before she knew it, she was no longer focusing on him. It would be so easy to just lean up and take…it’s right there…

Her thirst came back full force and it took everything in her to push him away before she lost control.

               She ignored the hurt that flashed in his eyes as she turned her back to him, looking at Hoseok with desperation. He pulled something from his back pocket and handed it to her. It was another blood bag. Her hands shook as she drank it, unsettled by the thoughts running through her head. She hated thinking about Jungkook like that.

               Catalina felt tears well up in her eyes.

               “Sorry,” she said. “I’m sorry Kookie. You just…you smell really good.”

               “Thanks?” he said. She turned to look at him with a smile.

               “By that I mean, I couldn’t stop thinking about biting into your neck and taking from you,” she said, feeling guilty.

               “That sounds sexy,” he said with a smirk.

               “It’s not. I wouldn’t be able to stop,” said Catalina. Behind her, she heard Hoseok chuckle and say under his breath, “No wonder they get along so well.”

               “Well, maybe when you think you could stop, we can test it out,” said Jungkook.

               “We’re still here,” Namjoon said, clearing his throat.

               “No, let them keep going, this is fascinating,” Hoseok said.

               “Okay, I promise I won’t do anything crazy, I just really want to sit down and hold my boyfriend’s hand and listen to everyone’s war stories,” said Catalina. “And maybe drink some more.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

               “Taehyung was a beast,” Hoseok said.

               Jin and Jimmy K were given the notice that it was safe to come over, so they did right away. Once everyone was settled into the couch in the lounge, they were all eager to share their stories. Catalina and Jimin were both sipping their way through a pile of blood bags on the coffee table, listening intently with wide eyes. Jungkook sat beside Catalina, an arm around her waist, sparkling eyes never leaving her.

               “Yeah, Taehyung was legendary,” said Jimmy K.

               Taehyung, who was sitting beside Jimin, blushed and waved a hand.

               “I’d say Jimmy K was more legendary,” said Taehyung. “Remind me to never get on your bad side.”

               “Well, let’s start at the beginning,” said Catalina. “I don’t even know how they got Jimin!”

               “They kidnapped me again,” said Jimin. “The day before the battle.”

               “Jimin, I’m so sorry,” said Catalina. “If we had known…”

               “It’s okay,” he said. “Better me than Caleb. I’m glad Makai assumed we didn’t know him.”

               “It’s true,” said Namjoon. “If it were Caleb, we wouldn’t have been able to save him the way we did with you. Turning children is illegal.”

               “Illegal?” Jungkook asked. “Would you get arrested? By the police?”

               “That’s a question for another time,” Catalina said impatiently. “So, what happened? Tell us from the beginning, from when you all went in.”

               “Well, it was pretty boring when we first got in,” said Namjoon.

               “Let me tell it,” said Hoseok. “You guys are bad at telling stories. Okay, so we went in and our backup is all there, and right away, we’re demanding to speak with Makai. There’s this lady there, was her name Mohati?”

               Namjoon nodded.

               “Right. Mohati tells us that Makai isn’t there, but Yoongi knows she’s lying,” said Hoseok. “And he says so, and then one of our guys tries to attack her and that’s when the fight started. A bunch of guys came out of nowhere and attacked us and it was just madness. Yoongi had his sword-“

               “It was my original sword,” Yoongi said with a grin. “From when I was a prince. I haven’t touched it in a good three hundred years, but it cleaned up pretty well.”

               “And he was cutting peoples heads off,” said Hoseok. “Which was gross and terrible to watch, but it was so awesome. He was like a master fighter. I got separated from them for a while, because I found someone I knew in the crowd. It was Jamie, the woman who kidnapped me back in the nineties. She recognized me and started taunting me and I couldn’t even focus on anything else at that point. My anger totally took over, but she was pretty strong. I didn’t last long in that battle. She hurt me pretty bad, I couldn’t fight after that.”

               “She broke his leg,” said Yoongi.

               Hoseok’s face looked pale. “You don’t have to tell them. It’s really gross.”

               “His bone was sticking out,” Yoongi said, chuckling. “It was magnificent.”

               Hoseok put his face in his hands and groaned. “Don’t make me think about it again. It was so awful. I’m gonna throw up.”

               Yoongi laughed and patted his back. “I helped set it. He did throw up.”

               Hoseok punched him in the arm.

               “He got her back though,” said Yoongi. “Once you could stand up, you killed her, didn’t you?”

               “I’m gonna be sick,” Hoseok said, standing up. Yoongi pulled him back down and rubbed his back.

               “Namjoon, tell us what you were doing,” said Yoongi.

               “I tried to control the crowd, but eventually I had to fight,” said Namjoon. “I mean, I held my own, but nothing crazy happened.”

               “Didn’t you blow up the wall?” asked Yoongi.

               “No, I didn’t blow up the wall,” Namjoon laughed. “Beck, one of the guys from up north, brought explosives. He was setting them up all over the place. I think he just wanted to come to blow stuff up. But I heard Jimmy K was pretty badass during the battle.”

               Jimmy K chuckled and said, “I was just doing my job.”

               “I saw Jimmy K swing over the crowd on a chain, shooting a crossbow,” said Taehyung.

               “I saw Jimmy K with a machete, fighting back-to-back with Yoongi,” said Namjoon.

               “I saw Jimmy K karate chop someone in the neck and they passed out,” said Hoseok. “I didn’t even know that was possible.”

               “I saw Jimmy K run up a wall and do a backflip kick to one guy’s chest,” said Yoongi.

               “Was that before my shirt was ripped open, or after?” Jimmy K asked.

               “After,” said Yoongi. “You had a big gash across your chest.”

               “That was from someone’s nails,” said Jimmy K. “Can you believe that? They ruined my shirt. I might have a scar there!”

               “But what a great story it’ll come with!” said Jin.

               “That’s true,” said Jimmy K. “Women love scars. And they love the stories.”

               “What happened to you when you went missing?” Jungkook asked Catalina.

               “I was with Priya and we were going back in to evacuate more captives,” said Catalina. “Amanda came out of nowhere and Priya tried to defend me but she didn’t stand a chance. Amanda pounced on her and snapped her neck. I ran away, but I got lost. Amanda was following me, but I think she was just playing with me. She let me run until I couldn’t breathe anymore, and then she came out and grabbed me. She brought me to Makai’s office. Jimin was there. I don’t think Makai was expecting this attack.”

               “Really?” asked Namjoon. “Because there were way more enemies there than we expected.”

               “No, he told us that he knew we knew Jimin. He realized Jimin was part of our group when Yoongi went there to buy him, but he didn’t pay any mind to it,” said Catalina. “He basically said, he got paid either way. He didn’t think we’d do something like this.”

               “He said he wanted to try to make a deal with you,” Jimin said to Namjoon.

               “He tried to,” said Namjoon. “He wanted me to call this off and let him continue his business. He’d spare you if we did. I couldn’t let him continue his work, so I tried to reason with him to let you go, but then some idiot wanted to be a hero and tried to attack Makai. Obviously Mohati jumped in and killed him right away, but it was too late. Makai and Amanda panicked and took it as an attack.”

               “That’s when Taehyung went crazy,” said Hoseok. “He was legendary.

               “A beast,” said Jimmy K. “Absolutely fearsome.”

               “He was truly a formidable force,” said Namjoon.

               “Guys,” Taehyung whined, blushing and looking down.

               “His eyes were practically glowing when he attacked Makai,” said Jimmy K. “And Makai is a big man, way bigger than Taehyung, so I was sure he’d win. Not to mention, Amanda was also a part of his attack. But Taehyung let out a piercing battle cry and tackled Makai to the ground. He fought both of them like nothing I’ve ever seen before. He was like a wild animal.”

               “He was faster and stronger than I’ve ever seen him,” said Namjoon. “He killed Amanda right away and then tore Makai apart.”

               “Literally,” said Yoongi. “He literally tore the man limb from limb.”

               “Ew, please stop,” said Hoseok, looking pale again.

               “He didn’t waste any time biting you, Jimin,” said Jimmy K. Jimin looked at Taehyung, whose eyes were downcast. Jimin took his hand and rubbed a thumb over his knuckles. Catalina had to assume Jimin wasn’t too mad about being turned.

               “They formed a circle around us,” said Jungkook. He looked pale too as he told Catalina the next part. “Hoseok tried to hold your wound closed, but it wasn’t working. He said he was sorry before biting you.”

               “Once Makai was dead, most of his people started running away,” said Namjoon. “The battle ended quickly and then the police came down to sweep for any other survivors. We didn’t stay though. We had to get you two home.”

               Catalina stayed silent for a moment to take everything in. She couldn’t believe everything that happened, just within…

               “How long was I out?” she asked.

               “Just a day and a half,” said Namjoon.

               “Shit. No wonder my mom was panicking,” said Catalina.

               There was something else weighing on her mind. Something she wasn’t sure they’d have the answers for.

               “So, something strange has been happening with me, and I think I understand what it is, but I don’t know how it’s possible,” said Catalina. Everyone was listening intently. “About a week or so after I moved here, I started having these dreams. They would always start out chaotic, mostly me running from something. Then they would end in a library or den and Namjoon would be there, telling me about the book he read last.”

               Various faces of confusion stared back at her.

               “The weird part is, we hadn’t met any of you yet,” said Catalina. “I met Namjoon in my dreams before I met him in real life. But it didn’t stop there. The night after our bonfire at Jungkook’s house, I had a dream that I was being chased in a tunnel with a metal floor. And the person chasing me said something like, ‘Don’t you know girls like you get eaten…’, or, what was it? Like, ‘Here kitty kitty, don’t you know trespassers get eaten?’. And these dreams kept happening, the same one over and over again, me being chased in this tunnel and the person chasing me kept saying something similar to that, a little different each time. And then, the night before the battle, I had a dream that me and Jimin were being held captive and I woke up when our necks were slit.

               “When Amanda was chasing me the day of the battle, I was running through the same tunnel as the one in my dreams. But I didn’t think about it too much because she was following me and taunting me and she said those words. She said, ‘Here, kitty kitty. If you keep running, you’ll run into monsters down here. And pretty kitties like you will get eaten by the monsters’, something like that. And I realized that this was the moment I had been dreaming about all along. And I knew what happened next but I couldn’t do anything to stop it.”

               Catalina felt a tear run down her face, which she wiped away quickly. She didn’t want to cry, she wanted to be mad. But there was no point in being mad at a dead woman. She supposed there was also no point in being mad at a situation that was meant to be anyway.

               “Fascinating,” Namjoon said after a long pause. “You’re a prophet.”

               “I thought you didn’t believe in stuff like that,” said Yoongi.

               “I don’t, I mean I didn’t,” he said. “But it doesn’t matter what I believe in. If she’s telling the truth, which she has no reason not to, then that’s proof. That implies that destiny is real, and we don’t truly have free will.”

               Namjoon rubbed his chin and looked off into space before continuing.

               “But not entirely,” said Namjoon. “If your dreams were a little bit different each time, that means that the future isn’t completely set in stone. It might still be possible to change it, especially if you know what to expect. It might be difficult though, since it sounded like all your dreams had about the same outcome.”

               “No, not all of them,” said Catalina. “Some of them ended with me finding you all and you protecting me from whatever was chasing me. One of them ended with Jungkook getting injured. He was unconscious and both of us were locked in one of those cells.”

               “So, it sounds like the future is changeable,” said Yoongi. “I bet your dreams were shifting every time someone made a decision.”

                “This isn’t unheard of, Catalina,” Namjoon said. “Lots of vampires have some sort of special ability. Usually it’s just things like hypnotism, or having an affinity for certain skills, but this could be very useful. And very interesting. The philosophical implications of this are well worth looking into.”

               “I don’t like it,” said Catalina.

               “You better get used to it,” said Yoongi. “There’s a lot of things about this life you won’t like.”

               “Well, vampires don’t need to sleep, right?” Jimin said. “If you don’t like it, just don’t sleep.”

               “Oh, that’s true,” said Hoseok.

               It was then that she remembered the last dream she had. The one on the beach. If that one came true, like the others did, then maybe this gift of hers wouldn’t be so bad.

               “What are you smiling about?” Jungkook asked.

               “The last dream I had, before I woke up today,” she said, her smile growing wider. “I hope it comes true.”

.

.

.

[takerfoxx]

Part three of the WN crew watches the Rebellion Story, this time stretching from the Mami in a towel scene to the sun rising after the battle with Hitomi's Nightmare.

Yes, this is the one with the Cake Song.

Reminder:

G=Gretchen

H=Homulilly

Op=Ophelia

Ok=Oktavia

Ca=Candeloro/Mami

Ch=Charlotte

...

Ca: Um.

Ch: UM!

G: Wow.

Ok: Oh, ho, ho! Hey, Candy! We interrupting something private here?

Ca: Oh, for Heaven’s sake.

Op, whistling: So…whaddya wanna talk about first?

Ch: Me! We’re talking about me! We’re getting this straightened out right now!

H: Are we even sure that’s you?

Ch: YES!

Ca: It’s her. That was her witch form.

Ch: SEE?! I KNEW IT!

G: I thought I got rid of all the witches.

Ok: Guess you missed one. And…Candeloro adopted it?

Ch: I AM NOT AN IT!

Ok: Sorry! Sheesh.

Op: Charly, chill. She didn’t mean it like that.

Ch: Ugh, I know, I know! Sorry. It’s just…What the hell?

Ca: I don’t know. I really don’t know.

Ch: So. Lemme get this straight. If for whatever reason we did not witch out and die when we did, Gretchen would’ve gone on to erase all witches from history…

G: I still don’t get it.

Ch: Except for ME, apparently! But we’re still magical girls fighting demented flying teddy bears that spawn when teenagers start angsting. And I’m just…hanging out. As a witch. Which is Candeloro’s pet for some reason? DO I HAVE THAT RIGHT?!

Op: Looks like.

Ok: You also still seem to have that thing for cheese.

Ch: Oh, great. AT LEAST THAT’S STILL AROUND! EVERYTHING MUST BE PERFECTLY NORMAL THAN!

H: Also, Kyubey is there, but seems to have lost his voice.

Ca: It’s an improvement.

Ch: Seriously, what the HELL is going on?!

Op: Do you need to take a break?

Ch: I…No, I’ll be…I’ll be fine. This is just weirding me out.

=long pause=

Ok: So, hey, Candy. About that towel…

Ca: Oh, I knew you were going to bring that up.

Op: Looks like you’ve been relegated to being Ms. Fanservice.

Ch: Just…Just hit Play. Maybe it’ll give us an explanation.

Ok: Okay…

=hits play=

G: Is this a bad time to point out that hairstyle actually looks really good?

Ca: It did get me a lot of attention. Of course, having magic made it much easier to maintain.

Op: I guess that’s why we look so fresh all of the time.

Ch: Great. On top of everything else I am also apparently an idiot that eats inanimate objects.

H: Wait. Nightmare? Is that what the teddy bears are called?

Op: Sure look…Whoa, wait.

Ok: Uh, Candy? CANDY?

Ca: Oh, I am not really going to-

=pause, then Ophelia starts laughing=

Op: Oh, man! Talk about a fake-out!

Ok: They knew what they were doing.

Ca: Oh, thank God. Or not. Why is this movie so focused on my breasts?

Op: I’ll give you two guesses.

Ca: =heavy sigh=

…

Ok: And there’s us, leaping around without a care in the world.

Op: Against a quilted sky.

Ok: Hitomi’s teenaged angst really threw everything for a loop.

G: Why the quilt, though? What does that symbolize?

Ok: I don’t know. What did the yarn symbolize? Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar!

Ch: And sometime animators take advantage of that big studio money to pump out whatever drug-induced fantasy that they ever had.

Op: Oh, hey! This version of you actually got over that guy!

Ok: “Captain Oblivious.” Heh, yup. You go, me.

G: And to think, so much trouble could have been avoided if he had just seen the cutie right in front of him.

=Oktavia loops an arm around Ophelia’s shoulders and snuggles up to her=

Ok: I like to think that it turned out all right in the end. Even this version of me agrees!

Ch: Except for him. Kinda serves him right.

G: I don’t know. I feel kind of bad talking bad about him like this. I mean, being a little oblivious isn’t really a bad thing, and he did lose a lot of important people to him in a very short period of time.

Ch: Well, when you put it like that…

Op: Yo, hey, not to change the subject or anything, but are those ballerinas that she’s got projected on the side of the building kickboxing? Because that’s honestly kind of hot.

H: Of course you would find violent dancing hot.

Op: I am what I am, and make no apologies.

G: At least these ones aren’t made of cum.

Ca: Oh, my God.

…

Ch: Oh, why am I here? What could I possibly contribute?

H: A moment ago you were complaining about not being in it!

Ch: This is worse. This is far worse.

G: Oh! Oh! We get to see the transformation scene!

Ca: Those weren’t really that elaborate. I mean, they were cool, but-Hold on.

Op: Aw, hell yeah! Strike a pose, team!

Ca: Okay, never mind. I guess in this world we made them elaborate.

Ch: Like I said: animators with way too much money and waaaaaaaay too many drugs. Prepare yourselves for a trip.

…

Ca: Oh! Oh, my.

Ch: So, uh…

Ca: No, I never danced to transform. That is…also new.

=Ophelia suddenly leans forward intently=

Op: Oh, yes, yes, yes! H-Hey, can we start this part over.

Ok: Sure.

=they restart the transformation scene=

G: So, are you…

Op: Figure-skating, yeah! Damned good, at that. Look at that spin!

Ca: I never learned figure-skating. I mean, I can skate, but nothing like this, though I suppose I have the athletic ability, and-Okay, I just exploded out of myself.

G: That outfit is pretty cool. Um, Candy? You wouldn’t mind if I asked…

Ca: Oh, fine. I suppose it’s thematically appropriate.

=Candeloro transforms into her Puella Magi uniform, complete with the hair. Gretchen cheers=

Ok: That was way quicker than the movie. And…damn.

Ca: You can stop staring at my breasts now.

Ok: I mean, sure, I can…

=Candeloro sighs and changes back. Oktavia and Gretchen both boo=

Ch: Sorry, girls. But the corset’s reserved for me.

Ok: What does that-Oh. Really?

Ch: We went going through a rough patch. We had some things we needed to come to terms with. Making pleasant associations helped.

G: I don’t get it.

=Homulilly whispers into her ear=

G: Oh. Oh.

Ca: Heh.

=Ophelia is still hunched forward and getting impatient=

Op: Yeah, this is all fascinating, but can we get back to the movie?

Ok: We’re literally talking about boobs. I thought you’d be all over that.

Op: There is dancing and you’re keeping me from it!

Ok: Okay, okay. Let’s go.

Op: Oh, hell yeah! I’m next!

G: What kind of dance is that, Ophelia?

Op: Definitely seeing some tribal elements in the first part. I think the part with the arms is…Chinese? Wish I had read up on it a bit more.

G: I’ve never seen you dance like that before.

Op: I mostly do hip-hop, but I do something similar to that when I pole-dance. It’s a lot more complex, though.

H: I bet it is.

Op: Have fun with that mental image! Still, this is giving me ideas, especially that arm thing. I think I pull that off with my illusions. Maybe it’s time to diversify-WHOA!

Ch: Why did you go all sketchy and scary?

Ca: Why did I explode out of myself twice?

Ok: Oh, okay! Here we go!

=Gretchen starts laughing=

G: Oh, my God! You’re doing Ophelia’s usual dance!

Ok: Doing it pretty well, too! Damn!

Op: I’ll say! Nice windmills, smooth transitions from palms to forearms.

Ch: You’re getting ideas, aren’t you?

Op: Duh.

Ok: And now I’m running. You know, I can’t help but feel that this me is sort of flexing on me specifically with the whole leg thing.

H: Has anyone else noticed that so far we have all ripped out of ourselves in order to transform?

Ok: That outfit is hot, though. And-Okay, that ass shot was on purpose!

Ca: Be thankful it’s not as obsessed with your butt as it is with my boobs.

Ok: No way! I wanna see it more! C’mon, zoom in on those cheeks!

Op: I strongly agree.

H: Oh, here’s me. This should be good.

G: It’s actually pretty lovely. And you do look like you’re having fun with it.

H: You know, this isn’t bad. But what am I supposed to be doing?

Op: It’s…kind of interpretive freeform, but I’m seeing some ballet elements in there as well.

H: Huh.

Op: You think of giving it a shot? Because I have someone I could call.

H: Thank you, but no. Maybe.

Op: Well, think about it.

H: I’m also tearing out of myself, I see. Oh, and that stupid clock again!

G: This is great. Can we see that part again?

Ok: You know you’re next, right?

G: Oh. Oh, no.

Ok: Okay, so…

Op: This…I’m not sure what you’d call this.

Ok: Other than adorable.

Op: It is that.

=Gretchen is blushing and hiding her face=

Ch: Okay, this is pretty cute.

G: Stop, please.

Ca: You sure you don’t recognize this, Ophelia?

Op: I mean, other than the Can-Can bit, not really. It’s more cute poses than anything.

Ch: So teenaged pop-idol.

G: Oh, God!

Op: Yeah, that seems to fit.

G: Why do all of you get the cool dances while I get…this?

H: I think it’s fine.

G: I’m not watching. Is it over, yet?

H: Well, you more of shattered glass instead of tearing out of yourself, but it’s still going.

Op: Okay, okay. It’s over, now.

G: Finally-You said it was over!

Op: It is! You’re just doing your final pose.

G: They literally covered me with hearts and rainbows!

Ok: What’s wrong with hearts and rainbow?

G: Look, I know I’m supposed to be the “cute” one, but there is a point when it becomes too much!

H: It’s your fault for being so adorable.

G: I’m not the only cute girl here. Sheesh!

H: No, you are definitely the cutest!

=Homulily starts tickling Gretchen=

G: Homulilly! Stop it!

H: I can’t help it! You’re just so cute! CUTE!

=Gretchen laughs and squirms in trying to get away, but not too much=

G: Stop it! Someone! Please! Help!

=Charlotte, who’s sitting on the other side of Gretchen, glances at Homulilly. They lock eyes=

Ch: Nope! Sorry! She’s right!

=Charlotte starts tickling Gretchen as well, who now is gasping for air=

Ok: Honestly, this is way more entertaining than the movie.

Op: Speaking for yourself. There was dancing!

Ca: You know, if you guys keep this up, then we’ll never get through the film.

G: Okay, that is it!

=Gretchen suddenly ties up Homulilly and Charlotte up with her legs and lifts them fully off the couch into the air. She sits there with her arms crossed and the two of them suspended=

G: No more tickling, or I start tickling everybody! And I have way more limbs to do it with than all of you combined!

Ok: Is that a threat or a promise?

Ch: I’m sorry, I’m sorry! Put me down!

G: Fine! Now, behave!

=Gretchen plops Homulilly and Charlotte back down into their seats and lets them go. Then she blinks and turns to Oktavia=

G: Wait, do you want to be tickled?

Ok: Well…

Op: Better not. This is an egg you do not want to crack.

G: You guys and your fetishes.

Ok: I am literally half fish, okay? We had to get creative!

Ca: Okay, I’m unpausing the movie, if it’ll get you to stop!

Op: You’re the one who literally busted out your and Charly’s bedroom get-up.

Ch: Not really. It usually has less-

Ca: UNPAUSING NOW!

…

Ok: Team pose!

Op: They always come this close to showing us what’s under those skirts.

Ch: They’re being cheeky, all right.

Ok: That pose is awesome, though. We should do that for real!

Ch: Puella Magi Holy Quintet? Not a bad name.

Op: Can’t really use it ourselves.

Ch: Why, because there’s six of us?

Op: That, and-

Ok: We’re all witches?

Op: Okay, that too, but also there is nothing holy about us.

Ch: Ah, innocent times, innocent times.

Ok: Come on, Sayaka and Kyoko are clearly doing it on the regular.

Ch: You inferred all that from your five minutes of screentime so far, did you?

Ok: I know what I’m about.

…

Ok: And out comes the violin! Subtle.

H: So…are there any people in any of those buildings that she’s wrecking?

Op: Probably.

Ok: So Hitomi is literally killing hundreds with her angsty temper tantrum.

G: Er…I’m sure she’s not!

Ca: Okay, now this part is actually pretty similar to how things used to be! Um, except for the ballroom dancing.

G: How so?

Ca: I mean us combining our abilities! Homulilly stopping time and the two of us using a combination of musketfire and arrows was actually a tried-and-true tactic of ours!

G: Cool!

Ok: So are you guys basically gonna blast Hitomi into next week?

Op: I mean, she did literally just massacre an entire city.

G: No, look! We’re fixing the city! See, we do repair the damage and make things normal again!

Ch: Obviously a very loose definition of the word “normal.”

Op: Doesn’t do a whole lot good for all the mangled corpses inside those buildings.

G: Nobody died! Sheesh.

Op: Well, not that we can see, anyway.

Ca: Pretty sure if people were actually dying it would have been brought up by now.

Ch: Okay, I’m calling it now! It’s a fake!

H: Huh?

G: What do you mean?

Ch: I mean the city! This whole…everything! It’s a fake! Like, a simulation or a dream or something. And we’re all trapped in it. The signs are all over the place.

…

Ok: That’s my girl! Kicking ass and giving good life advice!

Op: That guy is just obliviously leaving a trail of broken hearts behind him, isn’t he?

Ch: And corpses.

Ok: You know, between me turning into, well, me and Hitomi turning into that, the dude really needs to just stop dating girls and marry his violin or something. Because that’s two for two!

G: The Five Lillians? What does that mean?

Ch: This movie feels like it should come with its own appendices.

Op: Oh, did you see that smug grin? No one girl can have all that swagger!

Ok: You would suck on a juicebox in the middle of a fight.

G: Did…Did you just make a wall?

Op: Cool! That was one of my powers, right?

Ca: It sure was.

Ok: And apparently I could combine it with my swords!

Op: Oh, I bet you loved shoving your sword into my wall.

=Homulilly snorts=

Ch: I get the innuendo, but that would imply-

Ca: Please don’t finish that thought, sweetie. The porn they watch is bad enough.

…

Ch: So I guess this is the part where you all beat Hitomi to death.

Op: That would be one hell of a twist.

H: Honestly, the way this movie is going, I don’t think anything could surprise me at this point.

G: Okay, we’re all standing on swords around her, so…

Ch: Oh, great. Now I’m here-Wait.

…

G: Um…are we going to eat Hitomi or…What’s going on?

H: That does seem to be the question.

Ch: What the fuck?

…

=Charlotte suddenly leaps up and starts scrambling back on the couch up against the wall=

Ch: What the fuck! What the fuck!

Op: Did you just turn into a giant clown worm?

Ch: Candy, please. Some sense. Give it to me!

Ca: Uh, uh, well. Your…original witch self did turn into that…thing during the fight, but…

Op: You think you can maybe still do that?

Ch: No. No chance in hell.

H: I’m considerably more concerned about what we’re doing. Why are we…chanting?

Ca: I’m going to hit Play. Brace yourselves, girls. I think it’s going to get weird.

…

H: What are…

…

G: Um.

…

G: UM!

…

Ch: Guys. Guys. I don’t know how much more of this I can take.

Op: Shhh.

…

=the girls silently watch the Cake Song until the end=

Op: Pause it. Just…hit pause.

=communal long sigh=

Op: So. Anyone have anything they’d like to comment?

Ch: This…must be what losing my mind feels like.

G: Well, it was…cute.

Ok: Fucking weird.

G: But in a cute way. I…think?

Ca: I’m just going to preemptively say that I’ve got nothing. Please don’t ask me to explain. That’s not how things used to work at all.

Op: We figured.

Ca: I mean, we’d find witches, we’d transform, we’d fight the witches, the witches would die, and we’d get a Grief Seed. It wasn’t complicated! Nobody sang anything!

=long pause=

H: We’d better rewind and watch that again.

Ch: Why?

H: I have a feeling that it might be important.

Ch: To whom?

G: I agree with Lilly. They wouldn’t make it that weird without reason.

Ch: Oh, you wanna bet?

Ca: Charlotte, calm down, please.

Ch: I-Sorry. Sorry. You’re right. I’m just-Okay, fine! Let’s all take some crazy drops and watch it all over again!

=they rewind back to the start of the Cake Song=

Ch: I can’t believe they had the gall to not only keep me as a full witch but also turn me into that.

Ok: Well, I mean, it’s not like some weirdoes up and decided to turn you into a doll that…morphs into a giant clown worm. Apparently that was-

Ch: How I actually looked, yeah, I get it! It’s still creepy, though!

G: Why are we all…okay with this?

Ch: See? Exactly! If I just up and turned into a giant worm, you all would be freaking out!

Op: I would try to ride you.

=incoherent noises of disgust and irritation from Charlotte=

…

H: Okay, I think I’m starting to get how the rules of this game works.

Ok: It’s a game?

Ch: There are rules?

H: Sure! When you send the song to the next person, you name a quality about them, and that person has to come up with some kind of food that embodies that same quality! Saya…I’m sorry, Oktavia-

Ok: No, Sayaka’s correct. She’s not me.

H: Okay. Well, Sayaka started off and called herself the raspberry…for some reason.

Ok: Don’t look at me. I don’t even really care for raspberries all that much.

G: Blue raspberry?

Ok: That’s more of a flavor, I think?

H: Okay, well, she then passed it off to Kyoko, who is red-

Op: Really creative descriptor there, fishy-lips. Out of all of my qualities, you went with red? The cake should have been dead sexy! Or a fantastic dancer! Or

Ok: I probably thought up something dirty at first and had to sub it out at the last second, and red was the only thing that came to mind.

H: -And then Kyoko now passes it off to Mami, who is-

Ch: I’m sorry, loved by whom? Loved by Bebe? My name is BEBE?!

Op, singing: Rock-a-bye Bebe, on the treetop-

Ch: Shut up, shut up, shut up!

H: -er, well, that gets turned into cheese, because-

Ch: -BECAUSE OF COURSE IT DOES!

G: Do you need a break?

Ch: …no. I’m sorry. I’ll try not to freak out again.

Op: I’m gonna be honest, if you weren’t, I would be.

H: -well, anyway, Mami then passes it to me-

Ca: Though not without another close-up of my breasts, I see.

Op: I’ll give the animators credit: they know which side of the bread the butter’s on.

H: -and I’m…spinning in circles? I don’t really understand that one.

G: Well, there is the timeloop thing you were doing. That could be said to be spinning in circles.

H: There’s been no mention of that, though! And how would she know? Didn’t I keep that a secret?

Ca: You did.

G: Dunno.

Op: Maybe it has to do with how your shield has to turn for you to stop time? Maybe?

H: I don’t know. That’s kind of reaching.

Op: I do note that you seem to be the only one wondering what the fuck is going on. Like, just look at your face.

Ok: While I seem to just be having a grand old time!

Op: You know, I don’t blame you. I am starting to feel this. Cakey! Cakey! Round cakey!

G: And I’m sweet. All right.

Ok: What’s wrong?

G: It’s just having me be the cute one again. There’s more to me than just being cute!

Ch, now calmer: Maybe it’s to butter up the audience for some kind of dark twist. Like, the movie keeps making you out to be all cute and innocent but it turns out that you were the villain the whole time.

G: Really? That would honestly be kind of cool.

H: I seriously doubt that is the case.

…

Op: And here we summon a giant cake! Because reasons.

G: Is Hitomi still in that thing?

Ch: Well, if she is, then I just ate her!

H: Finally, a happy ending!

G: Oh, stop it.

Ch: Seriously though, what is my purpose in all of this? I turn into a worm, I start the song, I eat the cake. How does-

H: Oh! I think I just got it!

Ch: Huh?

H: These new enemies are called Nightmares, right?

Ch: Right…

H: Well, what do you do to calm a child who’s had a nightmare? You give them a snack and sing them a lullaby!

=pause=

Op: OOOOOOH, so that’s what was up with that explosive feast at the start!

G: So we don’t kill the Nightmares, we calm the Nightmares!

Ca: You know, as strange as that is, I do kind of wish it really was that easy. Back in the day, I mean.

…

Ok: And here I am, cradling Hitomi’s severed head! How’s that for a dark twist?

Op: It’s all part of the process.

Ok: I see she’s still clinging to Kyosuke, though.

Ca: Teen romance is complicated like that. Just because she was frustrated about his schedule doesn’t mean she doesn’t still love him. See? There she is, sleeping soundly.

G: So all’s well that ends well.

Ch: I have…a lot of problems…with describing anything that we just saw as “all’s well.”

H: So, wait, those sparkles that are coming down. Are those clearing our soul gems?

Ca: It looks like it. No grief seeds around, so I guess this is how they do it instead. I’m actually a little envious.

Ok: It does kinda seem like the idealistic version of what we went through. No despair, no need for competition, the monsters can be defeated by singing to them, and nobody turns into anything bad!

Ch: Except for me. Because seriously. What the fuck?

Op: You are not going to let that go, will you?

Ch: I am a fucking beanie baby!

G: What’s a beanie baby?

Ch: Never mind. Read about them in a book. Would take too long to explain.

…

Op: Aw, yeah! Party at sempai’s house!

Ca: Apartment. And this actually is accurate.

Ok: What, head to your place for snacks after a successful hunt?

Ca: Yes. Those were…nice. I enjoyed those a lot.

Op: We literally live together now. What’re you getting all nostalgic for?

Ca: It’s less that and more of the feelings. I had been…lonely for a while before all of you came into my life, so going from that to suddenly having so many sisters-in-arms…well, it made for a nice change.

Op: I guess that makes sense. Hey, you think that’s why Incubators made a big deal about competition? To keep us separated so we’d fall into despair faster.

Ca: I would not rule it out. Actually, if we had never learned the truth about soul gems or witches, we probably would still be alive, since we’d have each other for support.

Ok: My bad.

Ca: It’s okay. As Ophelia has pointed out many times, it all worked out in the end.

Op: Aw, yeah! Look at me getting down! Hooray for snacks!

Ca: Thank you for ruining the mood.

Op: It’s what I do. Hooray for snacks!

…

H: And the sun rises.

G: When do we sleep? I mean, seriously! Don’t we have school?

Ok: Maybe it’s a weekend.

Ca: We were more likely to get witches in the evenings, so we’d at least be in bed at a decent hour. Most of the time.

Op: Y’know, as weird as all this is, this really is beautiful. I mean, the animation is outstanding, and the scenery is gorgeous.

Ch: When it’s not totally tripping with your head and making you question everything you ever thought you knew about reality.

Op: …you okay over there, chief?

Ch: I’m sorry, guys. But can we take a break now? I seriously need a break.

G: Sure. I could use one too.

Op: …can we watch the cake song one more time first?

Ch: No.

[inkperch]

V8E13 Thoughts- Just OUCH.

Ok, so, this one is me live tweeting my second watching, cause there is no way in FUCKING HELL Im being coherant otherwise HOLY CRAP.

Jaune’s motion sickness coming up again is fun. The evacuation plan is pretty smart tbh. Ren’s fuCKING SMILE- if I didn’t ship Renora b4 this, I’d ship it now. Also, Nora can ride her hammer like a broom now, and its so casual Im genuinely trying to remeber if Im just being dumb and she could always do that? The subway scene is f-ing hilarious, but I can’t help but feel like they were intentionally being more cartoon-y than usual cause of the shit that happens later.

Everyones wonder at the portals is just *chefs kiss*. Especially May’s ‘figured you wouldn’t let us down!’- shes awesome, strong contender in the ‘probably only here for one arc+cameos’ best girl contest. Ilia’s still winning, but May’s a strong 2nd place. Really don’t like how fast Ruby gets back to mission mode tho- girl, let yourself appreciate the pretty golden bridges ffs, you definitely don’t by the end of the episode.

And I love how the biggest problem was something they just... couldn’t predict. The sandstorm wasn’t a fault in their plan, it wasn’t a villainous scheme, it just happened.

I swear Cinder’s the animation teams favourite, her expressions are always 100% spot on. And RWBY squaring up, altogether again, is badass. 

And just- the way she’s still super shaken? But comes up with a perfect plan regardless? Wow. Like- she took exactly what needed taking from Watt’s speech, how to get Neo back on board and, as we see later, exactly what to tell Watts to get him on her side. V1-3 Cinder’s back guys, and she’s more dangerous than ever.

And Jinn’s moment of hesitation before answering Cinder is great- Jinn may be a solid True Neutral, but she still doesn’t particularly want to doom Ruby’s plan. She knew exactly what answering the question would lead to, after all.

Actually- Hey, Jinn seems to get linked to Ruby like, a lot. Obviously Ruby was the first person we saw ask her a question and, while Yang got them the lamp, Ruby was the one carrying it all the way to Atlas pretty much. And then theres the big, obvious one- when the Spirit of Knowledge admits your clever, your clever. Food for thought.

Cinder’s troubled response to seeing Emerald- seriously, animation team popped off this season. And the fucking SOUNDTRACK DISSONANCE! It sounds like something out of a ballet, and then we’re shown them casually enter a room full of people and seal the door- then cut to a room full of corpses. Without so much as a blip in the happy, airy music. Cause really what’s changed? Everything’s coming up Cinder! (also, Neo beating a survivor around the head got a guilty laugh, I’ll admit.)

The #1 Dud mug hit different.

And Robyn’s spitting facts. Marrow is the best, wasn’t sold on him, then he went and did this. Also, FUCK HARRIET. Saving her own ass so she can go doom Mantle. Didn’t even fuckin TRY to wait for Wacky Tube Man and Adult Nora. And Robyn’s face- ok, fine, I’ll shut up about the animation team. No I won’t, but I’m running out of creative ways to say they’re awesome.

Also, fuck Jaques! I was fucking CACKLING when Ironwood shot him! Just- fuckign hell, I know it shows just how far he’s fallen, willing to execute a prisoner who, even in the case of escape is harmless now, but also, it’s Jaques, the guy’s a fucking hate sink for a reason, best choice Ironwood’s made all season! I guess it’s pretty clear he’s dead now huh?

Also- Cinder keeping the attention off of Neo- like, I only noticed it here but holy crap, Cinder isn’t lying in her speech- this is great teamwork, and it’s the kind of teamwork Cinder excels at- she makes some form of spectacle that furthers her goals, then uses it as a distraction for an even bigger part of her goals- we first saw it at Beacon. Like I said, Cinder’s back~ rip any redemption arc tho, she’s just better at being worse- it’s actually a really, really good villain arc, without becoming a redemption arc and I love it.

And then, Yang’s sacrifice- ok, like the Penny one I’d had this mildly spoiled for me. Unlike the Penny one, I had 0 hope of her getting out of this intact. Because as soon as there was that black screen, I knew Yang was fucked- cause, remember what other scene we saw shot like this? Close up of Yang’s face, then she activates her semblance and throws herself forward? All because someone she loves is in danger? Yeah, I was having big V3 flashbacks at this point, so I knew Yang wasn’t gonna be ok.

Also, something I didn’t notice until rewatch, but the reason Blakes the only one fast enough to react is cause Ruby’s on the floor. Kinda neat attention to detail. First watch I just joked to myself her reaction times shit.

And Blake just missing- wow. Fucking OUCH. She’s probably having V3 thoughts too. And just generally the way this is framed- just fucking OUCH. The heartbeat sound, the black frames, the slowmow- just OUCH. Speaking of OUCH, that ‘YAAAANG!’. Like. Excellent voice acting (and animation, again, seriously wow.) And the FUCKING ECHO! Just- OUCH. That’s just a summary of this whole scene, just fucking OUCH.

Also, as we learn later, if Yang had fallen a second later, Penny would’ve been through the portal before she could react. Think about that for a second- Penny would’ve gone through the portal, guilty about leaving her friends behind to fight, only to her a heartbroken cry of ‘Yang!’ literally as she stepped through- only to realise she can’t go back.

Also, RUBY IS NOT OK. GIVE RUBY A FUCKING HUG. HER SISTER JUST DIED AND BEFORE SHE CAN PROCESS THAT, SHE HAS TO FIGHT FOR HER FUCKING LIFE AGAINST THE PERSON YANG JUST DIED TO SAVE HER FROM. Seriously, give Ruby a fucking break holy shit. That quiet ‘Yang?’ and then she is immediately back in mission mode? O U C H.  

Also, Neo is smiling in that fight, wow, holy shit- wait, theres the other V3 scene this gave me Deja Vu to, it’s the fucking Roman fight! Neo just did to Ruby what Ruby did to Neo, but flipped- she ‘ring out’ed Yang to her death, when Ruby ‘ring out’ed Neo and then ‘killed’ Torchwick. Wow, holy crap.

And, again, ANIMATION TEAM OUCH. Seriosly, why are they so good at animating sobbing? Also, cute detail with Weiss holding Blake back. Don’t know why I’m calling it cute, nothing here is cute, holy shit, this episode is ouch. And the fucking anger, it’s so well animated holy fuck. And Neo refusing to even fight Blake, cause Ruby’s her target- yeah, that’s gonna fuck both them up. I am not looking forward to the end of these fight scenes- and seriously? Was this what Yang having her back turned in the OP was foreshadowing???

Weiss vs Cinder is awesome- Weiss has been on good form when it comes to winning fights again this season. Helps that, other than the ones who can fly, she’s in the best position to fight here what with her glyphs and all.

Penny trying to draw her swords and not got a laugh out of me, I’ll admit. To be fair, I was laughing at anything and everything at that point, cause they just fuckin killed Yang. Also, Rip Penny’s feet, imagine the friction burns? Like, ignoring how shes running around barefoot rn, i m a g i n e the friction burns from getting thrown like that with no shoes. Whole different kind of ouch.

And, Ok, so, are Penny’s swords made of rocks? Because they don’t look particularly rock-y. They look like something out of TRON tbh, don’t really seem Maiden-y to me. 

Weiss protecting everyone with her sword is badass. Blake being forced to chose between protecting everyone, and murdering Neo is heartbreaking just- 

This fuckING FRAME!

Also, yeah, FUCK HARRIET. Also, Robyn ramming them had me fucking cackling so hard- just, like, Wacky arms guy almost, almost talked some sense into her (Not really, or she wouldn’t go back on it so quickly, but almost), meanwhile in the other jet, Robyn ain’t letting anyone kill her people. Especially not mid-evacuation, that’s just a dick move. FUCK HARRIET. And like... was Harriet into Clover? I’m reading that right, right? Cause like... that’s some yikesy foreshadowing on the back of YANG GETTING KILLED OFF.

But also, still, FUCK HARRIET. Qrow throwing himself through the windshield was 10/10, would fight intro again. And Arthur finished his apple before hyjacking the bomb.

And then, the Winter scene. Is Ironwood just in a Schnee- killing mood? Ironwood’s speech is... honestly, heart-breaking. He is the definition of a fallen hero. If he wasn’t blinded by paranoia and driven to rely on no-one but himself and a very select few, would he still have come believe he was the only one who anyone could trust? Because that’s, ultimately, what has brought him here- he doesn’t think he can trust anyone but himself, and so, he must be the only one who can save Atlas, right?

And Winter’s FUCKING RESPONSE- ‘I’ve never wavered in fighting the enemies of this kingdom... and I won’t start now.’ No emotion, no hesitation, no anything. Just resolve. Made even more badass by how clearly pained she is- and like, I don’t mean emotionally, that’s cool too, I mean that she’s physically in pain, but still won’t even hesitate to fight the guy who took a whole team to fight in a sneak attack last episode. And Ironwood’s response... I really can’t praise the animation team enough.

And then there’s the other side of the portal- Ren is MVP ngl, that’s a stupid amount of people he sheilded for a stupid amount of time, all on his own.

Ok, so, next week’s big fights. RWBP vs Cinder and Neo inside the bridge world, Qrow vs Harriet, with plane assists from Robyn and who the fuck knows from Wacky arms man in the atlas/mantle set for the last time probably. Winter vs Ironwood. And Oscar, Emerald and a half-dead Ren vs a massive, massive crowd of Grimm all while doing an escort mission.

...I’m not going on Youtube for a week.

[im-a-meteorite]

i’ve been marathoning the harry potter movies since im in quarantine and i’ve been taking some notes. i’ll post them all bc why not 

sorcerer’s stone

harry knowing that there’s no post on sunday,, a genius

hedwig’s theme playing when harry looks out of the window and sees an owl flying by, very nice

hagrid doing magic at the house on the rock thing,, wouldnt the ministry be able to track that?? since there’s no wizard that lives there, they should be alerted?? or did they remove the trace from hagrid once he got expelled?? like does it work by the trace only or? bc if it doesn’t work by location then how would they know that a muggle witnessed the magic?? idk anymore

the kids staring at the nimbus 2000 and saying its the fastest model yet,, then the camera zooming on the handle w/ the background blurred -> the most straight forward foreshadowing

hagrid is actually the worst person to take harry on his tour situation,, like bro literally left him in the middle of a train station

the weasleys and harry going to the platform while theres a shit ton of ppl walking around,,, statute of secrecy where??

the great hall is on the first floor?? i thought it was on the ground floor

ew the hats

i wish the movies had dumbledore’s weird few words speeches

“theres not one witch or wizard that went bad that wasnt in slytherin” broooo

mcgonagall is so savage i love her

snape is an asshole

a crap ton of chessboards in the great hall study hall scene,, foreshadowing the challenges?

madam hooch really yeeted herself out of neville’s way

✨🥰 oliver wood 🥰✨✨

harry really wiped the troll buggers on his robe,, disgusting

snapes hair is lowkey on fleek tho,,

making most of the slytherins ugly bc they’re the “evil” house is just a disservice to all the inbreeding

hermione setting snape on fire is truly iconic and very extra tbh like sis why tf would u know a spell like that

seasonal transition wasnt that great tbh

overall the directing style is kinda basic

“not in the restricted section,,” rule breaking hermione is the best hermione

dumbledore’s handwriting is so extra and loopy like tf?? but it fits his character

the hedwig flying season transition was good

“immortal?” “it means you’ll never die.” “i know what it means!”

50 points each for being out of bed??? wtf is this point system

filtch saying there’s werewolves in the forbidden forest,,, thats illegal sir

hagrid calling the trio by their first names but draco by his last,, we love favoritism

harry’s thoughts r so ridiculous,, “snape doesnt want the stone for himself, he wants it for voldemort!” lmaoo wtf,, evidence pls sir,, u don’t even know he was a death eater. was it the bad vibes?? bc same

harry figuring out that the person who gave hagrid the dragon egg is voldy,, a genius

“kill us faster?? now i can relax!!” ron is so iconic i love him

“lucky we didnt panic!” “lucky hermione pays attention in herbology”

how is it that harry’s hand burned quirrel but not the skin on harry’s neck?? that shit makes no sense

yeah i really cant imagine this dumbledore fighting voldy in movie 5

hermione’s headband in the reunion scene is so cute i love it

chamber of secrets:

how is dobby even allowed to just jump on the bed?? like is it bc harry isnt his master that he can do smth like that

“dobby has heard about harry potter’s kindness” or whatever,, bro u work for the malfoys either the elves gossip or draco is waxing poetry about harry

aunt petunia saying “we have ice-cream” after that whole affair is just ridiculous

DIAGONALLY

this seems like the extended version bc i dont remember the borgin and bruks scene to be that long

the close ups with lucius and ginny’s books r insane lmao like chris columbus made it so obvious

also mr weasley’s acting is so funny like its so exaggerated

lucius malfoy is so dramatic and extra we love it

also lucius knowing hermione’s name and “draco’s told me all about you”??? bro whats with draco?? lmaoo

snape really got mad with the whole car business

mandrakes r fucking weird bro how did jkr come up with that

PERCY WALKING WITH PENELOPE CLEARWATER??? HOW DID I MISS THAT??

omg colin had so many lines?? wow

omg erol with the fucking howler,, iconic

ron’s facial expressions?? pure comedy, rupret is so good

LOCKHEART REALLY SAID “GOOD GIRL” THEN WINKED AT HERMIONE

“pesky piksy pescinomy” this bitch dumb

“why is it always me?” poor neville

omfg ✨🥰 oliver wood 🥰✨

ahh using the seeker position for fighting

ew draco used the m-word

the shit the basilisk is saying is so lame lmaoo

how does harry not recognize that he’s hearing a different language?? or does parsaltongue act weird

HOW IS THE WHOLE SCHOOL IN THE SAME CORRIDOR???

“i know the counter-curse that could’ve spared her” bitch the dirty looks he got?? omfg

the movies would’ve been 500% better if they had lee jordan’s iconic quidditch commentary

“scarhead” “TRAINING FOR THE BALLET, POTTER?”

“what did you expect?? pumpkin juice??” madam pomfery is a queen

dobby is dumb dumb

“who am i, hedwig? what am i?”

“reading? i didnt know you could read?”

“look at my face” “look at your tail!”

“you can’t cancel quidditch!”

“oh harry, if you die down there, you’re welcome to share my toilet”

lockheart: do you live here? ron: no *smacks him in the head with a rock*

“voldemort is my past, present and future” are all slytherins this dramatic??

the tension between hermione and ron in the last feast was insane

justin filtch fletchy is so ugly im so sorry i cant

prisoner of azkaban:

im sorry but harry doing underage illegal magic pisses me off every time

aunt marge 🤢

“do they use a cane boy?” “oh yeah, i’ve been beaten loads of times”

that whole scene is so chaotic

“you cant do magic outside of school!” “oh yeah? try me”

sirius really dumb for barking at harry like it makes no sense

the knight bus is probably one of the best things in this movie

“whatcha doing down there??” “i fell over” “whacha fell over for?” “i didnt do it on purpose!” “well come on then, lets not wait for the grass to grow”

harry leans over and looks for the grim, stan: “whatcha looking at?”

“yeah take it away ernie,, its gonna be a bumpy ride”

this whole thing is written and directed so perfectly

i hate how they replaced tom bc it really made no sense

all the bits of magic in the leaky caldron is so genius

fudge reminds me of trump but like dumber

the blue lighting and coloring is just great, it fits the colder vibe of the story (not like HBP with the hazy/blurry effect)

ugh the glass and mirror transitions are one of my favorite things,, alfonso curon really did that 

i love the weasleys,, also everyone looks great in this movie

omg the scene with arthur talking to harry about sirius with the sirius poster always being in sight?? amazing

contrast of light and darkness just echos the whole dementor vs patronus situation

i dont even understand why remus took the train other than for the nostalgia

the lights slowly turning off in the different carriages?? amazing

the visual representation of the dementors’ effect is great

REMUS!!!

i wish there was more emotion from remus when he’s talking about sirius,, like that was one of his only friends

snape clapping literally twice for remus,, ajhshsh

ahh the placement of the slytherin and gryffindor tables right beside each other to increase the tension and further the plot

oh yea the new dumbledore, also cool hat he has

omg the new fat lady painting

omg the candy scene?? so cute i love lads being lads. that scene just echo’s dumbledore’s light in the dark quote bc its storming outside at night and they’re creating a happy environment within the dark especially with the dementors

ah yes the clock references + following the bird to show us important parts of hogwarts and putting the whomping willow in the forefront

ron’s reading of harry’s tea leaves,, still on point tho. ron really has a knack for divination

buckbeak! omg drapple

draco is so hot especially with that ring also the slytherin pins??

“oh yeah, terribly funny, really witty. god, this place has gone to the dogs”

the kids look so messy i love it + harry’s uneven tie

HERMIONE CLINGING TO RONS ARM!!

“its killed me! your gonna regret this, you and your bloody chicken”

omg the boggart lesson

“riddikulus!” “this class is ridiculous”

fuck snape!

draco really pushed someone with his bandaged arm

remus is such an amazing professor i love him and i just miss him so much

ugh harry in this hoodie?? amazing

remus and harry’s conversation with the music :(( lily :((

wtf is that eye painting??

percy screaming about being head boy,, bro stfu

sirius is such a dramatic little bitch i love it

seasonal changes marked by the wimping willow

“turn to page 394”

what a fucking rude ass bitch,, i hate snape

harry really be seeing the grim everywhere

i wish they had “wheres wood?” “trying to drown himself in the shower”

winter transition with hedwig! + clock tower

“come and join the big boys”

i just adore this scene of the twins giving harry the map (bro i really want a series about the marauders)

whos that skinny bitch with draco???

harry’s way too rash tbh

also mcgonagall being also too nonchalant about the whole marauder’s situation?? like those werent your students

remus is a soft boy dark academia icon

if only dumbledore wasnt a dumbass,, remus could have been uncle moony raising harry with sirius

ron’s nightmare scene?? iconic

“my dad didnt strut. nor do i” umm james potter was also a drama queen sooo probably strutting

“you, YOU FOUL LOATHSOME EVIL LITTLE COCKROACH” “hermione no, he’s not worth it”

sirius’ dog form really looks like a rabid dog omfg

the part where hermione grabs harry while she’s on the wimping willow omfg

“only one will die tonight” YOU DRAMATIC BITCH UR NOT MAKING THIS BETTER

“finally the flesh reflects the madness within” “well you’d know all about the madness within, wouldn’t you remus?”

why the fuck is the shreaking shack is swaying in the wind??

QUARRELING LIKE AN OLD MARRIED COUPLE

why the fuck didnt they knock peter out?? like tf?? they’re actually dumb dumb there were so many ways for this to go right

this man really sent 2 13-year-olds on this dumbass mission

buckbeak really beat up remus,, “professor lupin’s having a really tough night”

harry’s a fucking psycho with this patronus bullshit,, i cant

can they stop screaming while flying on buckbeak?? someone might hear them

im still mad sirius didnt get his name cleared,, so much would’ve changed

“we did it” “did what? goodnight” i fucking hate dumbledore and his mindlessness omfg sometimes i wanna punch him in the face

fuck snape for outing remus as a werewolf,,, but also he really didnt have to resign. like istg wheres the marauder energy when it comes to defying everyone??

i wish the movies had went into the marauders’ history :(( its one of my favorite aspects of the series

[blackfemmecharacterdependency]

09. That’s How Hope Died

My apologies friends and familiars, but I absolutely don’t think that I can continue to do this story as standalone pieces anymore and to add on to the possibly not great news, there’s more chapters of story to be told here. But, those who can stay, I’m glad to have you here.  2721 Words, Trigger Warnings: Mental health issues, abuse, child death, grief

Previous

The key to having a successful “challenge” video or a hot “remix” was to have a plan proactively. Grace would have about a dozen different new choreos in mind at any given time, and she worked on beats a lot when she probably should be doing other things. She had various number outfits in mind. She had remix beats in mind and the clips of videos that she might want to add to such remixes. This was her happy getaway. The hours that she put into all of her dance training, her classical music instruments, and her academics made her feel like she earned a few to just create things that she enjoyed. And she had an outpouring of creativity from 14-16. 

Whenever a new hot song would come out, she would hear it and wonder how it might sound if she remixed it with the R747 (she named all of her creations with “stock numbers” until they became associated with a released song). She might think to herself, the choreography C929 will be perfect for this! Even her performance outfits, “And if I wear the W23… well… This is gonna be fire!” 

So, she might hear, for example, a new song by Ghairrisahn ft Fr8-Tre/in (for the old folks, that’s pronounced Garrison, ft Freight Train… See, Garrison is how it’s pronounced, but she spells it that way to stand out and well, Fr8-Tre/in’s name is Treyvon, they called him Tre growing up and you know, Freight TRE and add the “N,” sound like a play on words?) Her parents absolutely wouldn’t have listened to her explain. The hired help often had to, though, especially if they happened to be around while she was creating or putting together creations for presentation…

She would hear the song, decide and type into her phone’s notes: Shucky Ducky by Ghairrisahn ft Fr8-Tre/in. R747. C929. W23. As soon as she got home, she would check to see if any challenges or remixes of the song were released yet, because the Internet was fast and she was at school all day and sometimes, rehearsals well into the night. If it wasn’t already a thing, or if it was a thing, but the thing was null, she would make the remix of the song with her remix beat, then play it as she wore the outfit she prepped and performed the choreography she created. Then, she would post it, atting the artist, and hashtagging the song, TheApex, ApexChoreo, ApexBeauty,ShesBeautyShesGrace,Gracecore, (song title)remix and challenge, among others.

All of those would always skyrocket. Her favorite artists would always eventually see them, sometimes soon. Ghairrisahn even said that she wanted her to be in one of her videos. (Her mother was attentive to that bit of information when she shared it). 

When she called Simon to tell him, he already knew. Of course he did. That dude was always on his computer. He always had hella tabs open. He was working on maybe 4 assignments for school, at least 2 of his stories, keeping up with his favorite fandoms, and checking social media - which he hardly ever got on to talk to people that he knew in real life, but he still was entertained by many of them and usually kept watch of all of her pages, whether or not it dawned on her. 

When they were 15, she was invited on a summer tour with Ghairrisahn, to dance. It was a dream come true for her, even though her parents were very reluctant to agree to this. Filming a music video was one thing, but gallivanting across the country all summer was another thing entirely. “Mom, this would be just like if I had gotten the ballet spot in Germany!”

“No it isn’t. THAT was a world renown dance troupe and you BLEW it. THIS is some girl who sounds like she’s singing underwater, never wears a full sized blouse and almost unquestionably engages in recreational smoking.” Simon was typing on his phone. He didn’t get involved. 

“She is a Grammy award winning icon! Everybody knows her. You know who knows that dance troupe? Ballet heads. That’s who. Mom, to be successful, in this day in age isn’t just about money and high standing. It is about fame and visibility! AND, if I’m on tour, I have that many places to use my products and promote the brand and bring in revenue to the company!”

Mrs. Monroe sighed, “Alright. That sounds like a good idea. But, I’m sending you with your team. You’re not to be in the same vehicle as that marijuana girl. You’re to only interact with her and her team for business purposes and you will adhere to the schedule that your team provides.”

She clenched her fists and jumped up and down, excitedly. Simon’s eyes looked up from his phone to watch her, but he didn’t react in any other ways until she rushed over and hugged him, “We’re going on the road with Ghairrisahn!” She squealed.

He sighed and wiped a hand down his face, “Grace, I can’t go on the road with you this summer. You know I have like 6 different major things that I need to do this year.” Her face fell. “I wish I could. I love Ghairrisahn. She’s my top five celebrities whose hair I wanna smell…” Grace and her mother both made disgusted and confused faces that he ignored and kept talking, “But I literally have a major engineering program, a science camp to prepare for this upcoming school year, the journalism workshop, orientation for the early college courses path, the Dean’s meet and greet, and I’m heading some things for the scouts that I signed on to before I realized that I’d have to do some of the other things. I can’t go right now. Junior year is the most important year of my high school career. Not to mention, you know that I’m being emancipated next year. I just… I don’t have time to tag along this time, Grace.” 

She nodded her head, sadly. “Well, that’s cool. But, I mean, I’ll be able to fly you out to a show or two, right?”

He shrugged, “Send me the tour schedule when you get it, and I’ll let you know.”

“What’s your mom gonna do while you’re doing all of that?” She asked. He frowned and stared at her. She was concerned. He knew that she didn’t mean any harm. But, asking about his mother while her mother was still around was pretty inconsiderate, even for her. She must’ve realized from her face that it wasn’t something he wanted to discuss. Because she fell back and clasped her hands together, “Well, since we’re both still around, let’s go do something in town together. You do have a little free time right now, right?”

“Yeah,” he said defeatedly.

“Yeah,” she imitated and reached out for him with her hand to pull him up off of his favorite cushioned lounging chair. “Mom, we’re going!” Grace called. Her mother had stopped paying attention to them several minutes ago, pretty much whenever the conversation no longer concerned her. She didn’t even hear Grace excuse herself.

.

“It’s hot! Why do you ALWAYS have on a hoodie?” Grace asked.

“I don’t have one at school.”

“Because they aren’t allowed.”

“Exactly. We’re not at school. Nobody can tell me what I can and can’t wear,” he said. 

They were quiet for a moment. She didn’t know what was wrong with him, but she knew that something was. “Hey, do you wanna record ourselves doing skateboard tricks?” She asked.

“Is that your way of asking me to record you doing some skateboard tricks, Grace?”

“You can do yours too!” She laughed.

“I just wanna walk right now,” he said. She bit her lip and danced alongside of him, singing Shucky Ducky. Simon looked over at her and the smile of his features returned. She was good for that. Making him feel better about things that really just didn’t feel good. After a while, some thought, letting it rush around in his head, he said, “She’s going to go live with my grandmother.” Grace stopped dancing and stared at him with wide eyes. “She refuses to go to a hospital. I can’t get dad to come home right now and I just… don’t have the time to care for her. I was gonna be gone in a few months, anyway. Leave it to her, I never did anything to even help her over these years. The story that my grandmother believes is actually quite different from the events that my mind has collected.” Grace rubbed his back, but didn’t say anything. Simon had tears welling up in his eyes. “Do you know how many times she’s taken a swing at me, and I’ve had to restrain her to keep her from connecting? How many times she’s yelled at me, berated me for innocent missteps and mistakes that children simply make? All of the times that I wanted to just put that pillow over her face and not let go until she stopped moving?” He was shaking. “Now, apparently she has bruises all over her that I supposedly put there and my grandmother just believes that I’m capable of it, because I killed my sister, why not try my mom too?” He roared at the sky and covered his face with both hands.

Grace looked around for some place to sit, and just decided on the grass under a tree. She led him over, sat him down and rested on her knees, looking at him, but not knowing what to say. He didn’t really talk much about his sister. What she knew about it was what she had looked up on news sources on the Internet (only to understand more, not to be sneaky or harm him in any way), and she never brought up what she learned, because she knew it would be very painful for him. 

According to every source that she had found, the little girl’s death was an accident. She and her brother had been playing, they got into an argument, she ran off, he gave chase, she climbed up a ladder to try to hide in the attic, he pulled her leg and she fell and hit her head. It was an accident. A freak accident. She shouldn’t have been able to die from the fall. There were a few reports that the boy had possibly “thrown her hard” to the floor, but even knowing how angry Simon could get and not actually putting it past him to accidentally get that angry, she rationalized that even still, at 10, he wouldn’t have had the strength to cause reasonable damage to a 4 year old. She wanted to tell him that right now, but he didn’t know that she knew that much about it and it seemed like it might only upset him more to find out that she looked into it.

He was red in the face, hot, breathing hard, and crying, and he didn’t want her near him or looking at him at the moment. But, there she was. Where else would she be?

“Simon, I’m so sorry that your mom… is the way that she is. But, on the bright side, she’s not gonna be your problem anymore. She’ll be your grandmother’s and I mean… that’s her daughter. Who knows what she might have done to contribute to the person that she became…” 

He looked up suddenly and stared at her in horror, “Do you think I’ll be like that? Do you think… I mean… I get so angry and I get violent, and I lash out… Do you think I’m like her? Am I gonna treat my family that way? My kid?”

Grace leaned forward to place her hands on Simon’s shoulders and said, “I think that you’re the best person I’m ever going to meet, that is of course until you have kids, because then they’ll be the best people, because you’re not going to make the same mistakes your parents did. I think for what you’ve been given, your anger and violence and lashing out is totally justified. And it isn’t like you just go around beating up the defenseless. I mean, yes, sometimes… we’re a little quick on the draw and maybe hurt somebody that probably didn’t deserve it that much, but there are actual school shooters and like… pedos and stuff out there. A kid who beats on people who deserve it every now and then, destroys some stupid property or whatever is like nothing compared to like… those types.”

“So… I’m not a good person, just not the worst,” he said.

“You’re the best person I KNOW.”

“You know like 3 people.”

“I know plenty of people!”

“Outside of your immediate family and me, name ONE.”

She stammered and he laughed a little. She was grateful for that, even if she was flustered. “The red… um… shirt… Cameron!”

“Cameron… The… guy who works at the Target right outside of the gated community?”

“Yes! See… I know people.” Now, he laughed heartily and threw his head back. 

She knew kids at school who gave her presents’ names. She would always thank them and say something nice to them about their presents, whether or not they liked them. It was a trend to give her things and IF someone noticed her using or having the thing later, they had bragging rights, though no matter what anybody gave her, she preferred anything that Simon gave her over all of them. They never understood why, but she did. She knew that their presents came from wanting her to love them. His presents came from already loving her.

“Hey… do you want to go visit her?” She asked.

“Visit who?” he wondered.

“Hope,” she said. He looked startled. He knew that he never told her his sister’s name, but now that he was calm, she was testing the waters to see how he felt about her having at least some portion of knowledge.

He whispered, “I never go there.” 

“I won’t try to force you,” she said.

After a moment, he said, “I want to…” 

His hands were shaky until Grace took them in hers and smiled up at him, “Then let’s do it. We’ll stop by a shop and get her a nice bouquet.” She let go of one of his hands and pulled the other to follow her. He still didn’t want to say more about his sister, but some part of him wished that the visit would change something inside of him. He didn’t want to think about the word “Hope,” to describe his desires. It felt wrong.

He cried a lot. Grace smoothed her hand across his back and remained quiet. After a long while, and he was seemingly out of tears, she said, “Maybe I should skip the tour. I’ll probably have opportunities like this in the future. I’m pretty hot right now.”

“You always are.” He wanted to tell her not to do that. That she deserved to go on the tour and that she should have fun, but just like when she wanted to tell him that he didn’t have to write about his family to get into the academy, he didn’t have the nerve to openly oppose what was best for him. 

What was best for him was that the one person that he could cry in front of was there for all of the summer nights that he was already certain that he would cry from stress alone. But it was up to her, just like it had been up to him to decide that he wanted to be at school with her, even if he was going to have to hurt a little to get there.

The difference was she ultimately decided that it was best that she went. He didn’t like it, but they had been apart before in the past and even if she had been in town, he was going to be constantly busy anyway. Still… he emotionally logged it as a time that she was not there for him when he needed her to be. Was it fair? Maybe not. But… it was simply how he felt about it.

Next

[untitledtallgeesepodcast]

There were a total of five OSTs released for Gundam Wing (the fifth was dedicated to the music of Endless Waltz, which will not be covered in this post or this playlist). Caitlin asked if I (Cathy) would create a playlist of my favorites. I didn't think she expected I would also write a novel. But here we go.

Let’s listen to some of the music of Gundam Wing!

(All song titles will be described with their English name and also the strangely romanized Spotify name.)

There are three main categories of Gundam Wing OST songs: (1) shoot 'em up fighting tracks which usually feature loud riffs, drums, and blats and blares coming at you at the same speed and frequency of mobile suits firing pointlessly at the Gundams, (2) instrumental, orchestral songs meant for the intermission period of a ballet that was never written or performed, or (3) synthy stuff with saxophones that wouldn't be out of place in a dingy rainy bar scene of a tame movie from the 80s. Most of the really recognizable tracks are in the first OST. OST 2 tends towards less interesting instrumental waltz-like stuff, Sanq Kingdom ballroom music as I've termed it in my head. They're fine, tolerable pieces of music, but you don't hear them and instantly think "Gundam Wing." By the time you get to OST 3, you're digging into the really deep cuts of Gundam Wing OST tracks, some of which I don't remember being in the show at all. (OST 4 is almost entirely character songs.)

We open with two of the best OPs—nay, songs—to have ever been made, "Just Communication" and "Rhythm Emotion," both by TWO-MIX. "Rhythm Emotion" was not, as you may have imagined, a mid-season swap-out. It was only used for about 10 episodes, and you may have even forgotten what it sounded like until just this moment, but "Rhythm Emotion" is no slacker. With alien, wintery synths that make you feel like you're soaring through the sky and between enemy mobile suits, this is one of those songs you would hear heavily remixed for knock-off DDR machines in arcades for years to come. The breakdown is cheesy, overemotional, and yet gives me the same goosebumps I would feel, years later, when listening to Love Live's "Snow Halation." Its more accomplished older sister, "Just Communication," dates itself from its opening note, but it owns its place in time and history unapologetically. Timeless, instantly recognizable, and eminently singable, you could, as Caitlin says in Episode 1, play this in a karaoke room full of randos and you're guaranteed to have someone scream along. There are some songs that make everyone feel like the star of their own shounen anime when they hear it, and "Just Communication" is one of them. Turning it up full volume in your car is like blasting "Take My Breath Away" while speeding on a motorcycle with a leather jacket. You are invincible through all 4:20 minutes of this song.

After that, perhaps one of the most famous instrumental tracks from the series: "The Wings of a Boy that Killed Adolescence / Shisyunki wo Koroshita Syonen no Tsubasa." (That boy is Heero Yuy. I know you know that, but this OST makes it explicit with its last instrumental track, "Code Name Heero Yuy," which is just another version of this melody.) There are a lot of songs like this, fighting tracks that hurry along at a clip, heroic but a little bit anxious ("When the Dragon Swims / Ryu ga Oyogutoki...," "Break Out," "Scattering Left Light / Kakusansuru Zanko" which barely sounds like music and is clearly hoping to be the soundtrack to your next laser tag game). I want to call out among them "Mission Accomplished / Ninmu Suiko," which has a last half that is so tied in my head to the world of Gundam Wing that when I hear it, I am instantly transported. It's almost a letdown that it's just an OST track, because it builds up such amazing tension that it releases just as quickly. "Mission Accomplished" is a bridge between these energetic tracks and more headbang-y, hard metal type fight songs like "Use the Cloak of Darkness / Kurayami Karano Tsukai," one of my all-time favorite guitar riffs from the GW OSTs. A lot of OST 1 is full of this "Enter Sandman" type stuff, though you still get reprises in the later OSTs, like "Well-Planned Tactics / Butsuryo Sakusen." The back half of "Cloak of Darkness," though, is a completely different track, this time pure fascist military fantasy. A lot of OSTs were like this, two short BGMs together masquerading as a one- to two-minute track. I'm not sure if it was just more expensive to list out a bunch of 45 second tracks, or if Otani Kou just ran out of emo names for all of them.

One thing I didn’t realize until this project is that there are no less than five variations on Relena’s theme in OST 1 alone:

Soft Hair and See-through Eyes / Yawarakana Kami...

Inside the Girl's Heart... / Syojyo no Mune no Oku Niwa...

To Beauty, to Elegance, and to Noble-mindedness / Karen ni Yuga ni...

I Feel Like I Can Cross Even That Rainbow Bridge / Ano Niji...

As Relena Peacecraft / Relena Peacecraft Toshite

When you've heard one, you've heard them all, so I’m putting on "Soft Hair...,” the wonderfully 80s and slightly boozy "adult contemporary" version of it, completely with a Kenny G sax. The others feel much more pure and dignified, especially "To Beauty...," which I think of as "waltz music" as it shows up in many of the early series' ballroom scenes. ”Rainbow Bridge..." is a worthy remix/variant, and for another similar boozy 80s feel, also try "Coolheaded Bloodthirstiness / Reitetsu na sakki" from OST 1. While I’ve left most of this playlist in chronological album order, I’ve moved up "I Believed We'd Meet / Kanarazu Aeruto Shinji” from OST 3. This track is not particularly noteworthy to me, but I leave it here as an example of how even later in the series, Otani Kou makes references to this refrain, even if it's not played note for note.

Because like any good soundtrack, Gundam Wing reuses themes and motifs. "Searching for Peace Buried Amid the Corpses / Shikabane ni Umoreta..." and "That Clown Doesn't Need Make Up for Tears / Sono Doukeshi..." share the same melody, only one is a fighting song and another is a mourning song. I actually like the rendition in "Hourglass of a Sad Color / Kanashimi-iro no Sunadokei" (also from OST1) better, but while "Hourglass" is a straightforward BGM track, "That Clown..." shows off one of the more interesting aspects of the Gundam Wing OSTs: its frequent blending of synths, cheesy sax, and more classic orchestral strings. You can hear it in second half of "That Clown...", but also in tracks like "Unknown Pressure / Michi no Pressure," or OST 3's " Behind The Scenes of The Blackout / Anten no Butaiura de," which is a typical "woe is me" orchestral track that is for some reason constantly interrupted by digital "beep boop" mumblings. Without that blend, you're left with a lot of grave-sounding tracks with bombastic Phantom of the Opera-worthy brass sections, like "Soldiers Who Don't Have a Gravepost / Bhyounaki Senshitachi" or "Legend of Zero / Zero no Densetsu." Not that those songs are bad, which is why I include the last of the instrumental tracks from OST 3: "Who Will Give Their Life / Darega Tameni Inochi," which takes itself very seriously and very earnestly, just like the show itself.

One of the other frequent moods of these OST is anxiety, perhaps no better demonstrated than "You Can Hear a Voice Calling the Soul /Tamashii wo Yobu Koe ga Suru", which has a guitar emitting screeches of existential despair. “Signs of Consciousness / Ishiki no Taido" is from this same school, but its second half is more "I am walking into a rave already a few minutes into what I know is going to be a bad trip," which is not really a mood I remember from the series itself. By the time you get to OST 3, you start venturing into tracks that wouldn't be out of place in a horror film. You can hear an example of it in "The Eyes of a Mobile Doll / Mobile Doll no Me," which is on this list because it sounds like a fever dream, but you could also check out "The Abandoned Horse of the Age / Jidai no Sutegoma," which is not on this playlist and has the same effect. Some of them, like "I Don't Like Fairytales / Otogi-banashi wa Sukijyanai," are inspiringly atmospheric, almost hypnotic. Is Gundam Wing horror? [Treize Voice] Yes, the Horror of War.

Some quick call-outs in the odds and ends group: “Tokimeite Harmony” is the 3x4 theme, a literal duet between a violin and a flute, and it’s there for that reason and that reason alone. I could not tell you for the life of me where in the series “Yasuragi no Hitotoki...”, “Kizuna,” “Sonzai Syomei,” or “Kioku no Gyakuryu” come from, but they sound like beautiful tracks from a video game I’ve never played. Similarly, “That Day Was The Last Day I Saw Your Smile / Anohi Saigo ni Mita Egao” is uncharacteristically fluttery and beautiful for a Gundam Wing OST piece, an almost Ghibli-esque track which nevertheless ends on an anxiety-inducing note of unrest.

And finally, the character songs. I leave you with one for each of the six main characters, and then a bonus.

Heero Yuy: "With Only My Words / Oredake no Kotoba de." Did you expect Heero's singing voice to sound like this? Neither did I. I have no idea why they thought this was a good image song for Heero. It's not. I leave it here because you must listen to it. The better "sounding" song is "Flying Away," which shows up in this CD later, but it doesn't give me the same dissonance as this one.

Duo Maxwell: “Wild Wing.” "Good Luck & Good Bye" is the superior song. (there's a little bit of Wang Chung “Everybody Have Fun Tonight" to it), but the sheer hilarity of this chorus (WILD WING BOYS!) means that i have to include it.

Trowa Barton: “Clown / Doukeshi.” What to say about this? This is a typical ballad, something you may play during a romantic moment of a kdrama or during the slow motion death scene in a Hong Kong film that would be released around the same time as GW was. I feel bad for Nakahara Shigeru who clearly is straining himself singing this. but it is nothing if not period accurate.

Quatre Raberba Winner: “Star’s Gaze / Hoshi no Manazashi.” Poor Orikasa Ai. Quatre’s voice is passably bishounen in the series itself, but it's hard to hide that his seiyuu was a woman when it came to the image songs. That said, her voice has a much fuller quality than her fellow pilots, and this is actually a decent-enough filler song. You could imagine debuting an idol maybe in the late 80s with this track.

Chang Wufei: “Knock at Tomorrow's Door / Asu eno Door wo Tatake.” If Wing were a kpop group, Wufei would be the rapper. You don't get to argue with me here. It's hard enough to imagine Wufei actually singing, but Ishino Ryuzou's singing voice also doesn't bear that much resemblance to the voice he adopted for the character. 

Relena Peacecraft: “Love is Not Crying Yet / Ai wa Mada Nakanai.” One of the most unexpected of the image songs is this bossa nova inspired track for Relena. Like Orikasa's ballad, this song almost works as a real song, and the purity of Yajima Akiko's voice is incredibly charming, which makes it all that more surprising that she's actually best known for being the seiyuu to the eponymous Shin-chan of Crayon Shin-Chan.

I do not include the image songs for Zechs and Treize, simply because they're boring. Both of them are extremely well-known and popular seiyuus, who have since done a number of musical projects. You can tell that they will fare better at that endeavor than Trowa’s seiyuu, but there's really nothing interesting to say about their songs. As always, the men of Gundam Wing are shown up by their female counterpart: Lady Une's "Brightness & Darkness" is positively anthemic and fun to listen to. Sayuri doesn't hit all the notes perfectly, and you can sense there is Fleetwood Mac / Stevie Nicks impersonator out there who could really knock this one out of the park, but if I were to keep one image song out of the whole bunch, it'd be this one.

[marril96]

The Distance Between Us

Epilogue: What the Future Holds

Pairing: Rowena x reader

Summary: Five years later...

A/N: Here we are, folks. This is the end. I would like to thank everyone who helped me get this story to where it is. From my wonderful editors to my faithful readers — I appreciate every single one of you amazing people. Thank you so much! For reading, commenting, helping me out, talking to me, believing in me, encouraging me to continue even when it was hard. I hope the ending is satisfying enough, and that we will hang out soon when I work on my other projects. Best of regards, Mariana. ♥

Editor: @miss-moon-guardian

*****

There was nothing better than a wedding to get the old gang back together.

It had been a while since you'd seen everyone all at once.

Five long years — ever since you'd graduated high school.

There were times when it felt as if it had happened yesterday. As if you'd just said goodbye to your friends before everyone went their own way, their own direction, colleges and jobs calling.

Time sure liked to fly.

You made sure to stay in contact with everyone. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram; all tools you readily used. They were your friends. Some distance couldn't change that.

The seven of you had your own Facebook chat group that was filled to the brim with messages. Memes were shared. Laughs exchanged — in emoji form, but laughs nonetheless. News, good and bad, were told. Advices asked for and given.

It almost felt like old times.

Almost.

But not quite.

The truth was, despite how hard you tried to maintain your friendship, things changed.

Life happened.

Sam had gone to Stanford on full scholarship, dreaming big of contributing to the world, helping save it. With the way things were going, you were confident he would do it. If anyone could help make the world a better place, it was him.

In his free time, he liked to give speeches on healthy lifestyles, which, for some bizarre reason, consisted of consuming a lot of kale.

A kale smoothie had become a signature of his, the cup seemingly glued to his hand.

He'd become a hit on the internet for it. A meme everyone in your friend group shared and poked fun at. Light-heartedly, of course.

Dean was convinced Sam was doing it to embarrass him.

Sam, in turn, had told him a healthier diet would do him good.

Dean wasn't interested, and, a few hours later, had posted a picture of himself stuffing a big, greasy hamburger into his mouth with the caption #DownWithKale.

Sam was not amused.

Crowley had changed his name as soon as he'd turned eighteen. Crowley had officially become his name, Fergus long forgotten, thrown in the trash where he felt it belonged.

His family still called him Fergus.

Well, Rowena and his mother did. Gavin, the good boy that he was, had always referred to him as Crowley, which was why he was Crowley's favorite family member (his only family member, if he had any say in it).

He'd gone into studying business, rich businessman future planned out to the smallest details. He'd intended to work his way to the top; it would take a while, but he was confident hard work, combined with his cunning, ambitious nature, would earn him the throne.

Maybe, he'd mused, he could eventually open his own company. Be his own boss. Set his own terms.

May he have the best of luck.

Castiel had gone into teaching. A surprising choice of career, especially considering his awkward nature, but it was what he wanted to do. Helping kids. Guiding them by his own example.

He certainly had the drive for it.

Who knows? Maybe kids would like him. Maybe they would like his awkwardness.

Meg, not really the scholarly type, had gone to community college and had found herself working in a supermarket.

She hated her job, and she hated the customers even more. The chat was frequently filled with her rants about one thing or another that had occurred at work that particular day.

Funny stuff, usually.

Especially when she snapped at customers and got reprimanded for it, but kept doing it anyway because her boss knew all too well he couldn't afford to lose her as an employee.

Instead of a college, Dean had gone into trades. He'd opened his own little mechanic shop back in Lawrence. It was hard work, far from ideal, paid just enough to cover the costs of living, but he enjoyed it. He was happy.

That was all that mattered.

Rowena had worked hard on her intensive at Joffrey. It was a difficult three months; she was always practicing, always dancing, on her feet from dawn to dusk. You'd barely gotten to talk, aside from the weekends, which you'd spent in front of your phones or laptops, Skype open, smiles wide as you talked about each week's events.

You'd missed her so much.

Too much.

But, as with all things, the intensive had eventually ended and you'd gotten to have her home for a week — a whole week! — before college officially started.

The two of you couldn't keep your hands off each other that entire time.

It wasn't enough — seven measly days was far from enough — but it was something.

After three months of drought, it was the welcome, desperately awaited rain.

Parting for college was even more difficult. You'd each gone your own way, different as you were, each pursuing your own dream.

It was a struggle, but, like the intensive, you'd made it work.

You'd kept in contact. Skyped at every available moment. Traveled to one another's schools when the opportunity arose. Made sure to spend the holidays (the most important ones) together.

And, just like that, years had gone by, and soon enough school was behind you and you were together once again.

The decision to move in together was a mutual one. It was more of an understanding, really. With school behind you, jobs calling, and the relationship stronger than ever even all these years later, it just made sense to take it a step further.

Why wouldn't you live together?

You did everything else together, so you might as well, to quote Crowley every time he walked in on you making out, get a room.

So you did.

You rented an apartment in Manhattan. A small one that, despite its size, was warm and pleasant and felt just like home.

Your and Rowena's home.

Sometimes it felt like a dream.

As if, every moment now, you would wake up and realize the last five years of your life were nothing but a fantasy, a product of your sleeping mind.

Then you would kiss Rowena's cheek, take a sip of tea from her mug just to tease her (her glares and pouts were adorable), and smile, and the reality — your reality, one you'd worked hard to accomplish, your so wished for future — would settle in and all the silly thoughts would go away as if they'd never existed.

You'd made it.

The future you'd dreamed of, that you and Rowena had planned for so thoroughly, had come to be.

It wasn't perfect, but it was yours.

Rowena had found work at Broadway. She was a dancer, and an excellent one; with Joffrey on her resume, the job was hers the moment she'd stepped into the audition room.

You were having difficulty with finding employment yourself, but, luckily, her pay was enough to cover the living costs of the two of you.

You felt bad; the last thing you wanted was to look as if you were taking advantage. But she'd made it clear she didn't mind. You were together. A family, for no other word could describe what you had, what you'd built and grew together. What was hers was yours, and vice versa.

Being a housewife wasn't your ideal profession, if one could call it that, but it wasn't bad.

It was, dare you say it, fun.

You found yourself enjoying awaiting Rowena's return after a long, exhausting day on her feet — literally — with a loving hug, a peck on the lips, and a warm meal on the table — a delivery from a restaurant or a warmed up can, for cooking was a skill you were still far from perfecting.

You were happy.

And so was she.

The two of you made it work.

Lately, Rowena had been considering joining the Royal Ballet. It was a big step, one that required careful thinking and plenty of discussions.

Moving to another city was one thing.

Moving to another country, half across the world, on the other hand…

She'd made it clear she wasn't going to make the decision without you. This concerned you, too; if you wanted to stay in New York, you would stay.

Both of you.

She just wanted you to think about it, weigh in cons and pros.

And you did.

You'd been thinking about it for weeks.

Bless her heart, Rowena was patient. She didn't push you, or rush you, or try to guilt you. She left you to your own pace.

You were immensely grateful for it.

By the time the wedding came, you were pretty sure you'd made up your mind.

In a day or two — hell, maybe even today, after the ceremony — you would tell her.

It was a small wedding, closest family and friends only. Sam was never one for parties. He and Eileen had rented a small cottage with a beautiful yard they'd decorated themselves. Quite cheap, as far as American weddings went, but lovely.

This was a wedding for love, not luxury.

When Sam had announced he was engaged in the group chat a year ago, you weren't surprised. You'd always had a feeling he would go for it first. While Dean was a one night stand kind of guy, Sam was more the settle down type. The kind of guy who kicked ass at work during the day and then cuddled with his wife and kids at night. The picture of a family man.

And, god, would he be a good one!

He was sweet and caring, a wonderful friend, and, no doubt, an even more wonderful boyfriend. Husband material, if you ever knew one.

Eileen was equally sweet, equally amazing. A lovely girl who treated everyone like a friend and loved Sam with all her heart.

They were perfect for each other.

Seeing your gang together after five years, in person, in full color, was an experience that was almost supernatural. There was screaming and squealing and hugging and teasing. You'd forgotten how noisy you were all together.

Your mind flashed back to high school, to afternoons at Biggerson's, sipping at your smoothies and coffees and stealing fries off each other's plates.

Those were the days.

There wasn't much difference to either of you. You were older, but other than that, you still looked the same. You teased each other as you'd used to, joked as if you were still that bunch of high schoolers who had the whole world under their feet.

There were changes, obviously. Inevitably. Some subtle, others not so much.

Sam's hair was an inch or so shorter, or so it looked in the pictures (he was still getting ready, having not yet shown himself to the guests).

You followed his example, having never been one for big change. Shorter hair was shorter hair, even if only a bit.

Dean bore — proudly — a few scars. Work injuries, though you were willing to bet he'd earned a couple in the bar fights he liked to brag about.

"You should see the other guy," he always said.

You never had any particular desire to.

Crowley had a small beard, and wore it well; it made him look older, more mature.

Emphasis on look, for he and Rowena still bickered like brats.

Gavin, the actual child of the family, was more mature than the two of them.

Rowena wore less sparkly clothes (she now saved those for special occasions). Instead, she preferred to wear dress pants and blouses that you found strangely arousing.

Sometimes you got her to role-play in them. She made one delicious businesswoman.

Castiel dressed the same, trench coat over everything (even wore the damn thing to the wedding), looked the same, acted the same, however, his change was big.

It tied right into Meg's for she was seven months pregnant, and her stomach was appropriately swollen to showcase it.

She'd gained a bit of weight and dyed her hair blonde, but her character remained the same.

She was still that same foul-mouthed, opinionated firecracker of a girl.

And you loved her for it.

"You look great!" you told her first thing you saw her. Then you threw an arm around her, your other one wrapping around Castiel, and said, "I couldn't wait to congratulate you guys in person! I'm so happy for you!"

You were.

Happy from the bottom of your heart.

Ecstatic.

Proud.

The two of them had done well for themselves. Like your and Rowena's, their life wasn't perfect, but they made it work. They lived it to the fullest.

They were happy.

In love.

Excited for the baby, a joyous little accident.

You weren't the parenting type, (neither was Rowena), however, while raising a family wasn't your particular dream, you couldn't have been more excited for them.

This was what they wanted.

What kind of a friend would you be if you judged?

Families came in all shapes and sizes.

As did dreams. Ambitions. Aspirations.

Supporting them, wishing them well in any and every form — that was the true meaning of friendship.

Meg and Castiel would make amazing parents.

Weird and eccentric, but still amazing.

That baby would be one happy, very loved kid. Surrounded by a large family of aunts and uncles, all loving, caring, eager to spoil them.

Blood-related and not.

As far as Meg and Castiel were concerned, your group was family.

It was definitely better than some actual family members.

Like Castiel's father, good old Principal Shurley, who'd, a couple years ago, gotten himself into quite a bit of trouble for embezzlement.

The news didn't quite shock you as it should have. There was always something about him.

Lucifer never stopped getting in trouble. Only, once he was out of school, his daddy couldn't sweet talk his way out of it (not that he hadn't tried; Castiel talked quite a bit about Chuck's restless attempts, and failures, to save him) and thus the darling little angel had gotten himself quite a record.

Assault.

Harassment.

Battery.

You name it, he'd done it.

It turned out that the police didn't give a damn about what daddy Shurley had to say about his son's character.

They surely gave even less of a damn now that he was serving his sentence for embezzlement.

Lucifer was currently with him, doing a two year stint for… something.

It was hard to keep track when it came to him.

The current Lawrence Hugh's principal was Amara Shurley, Chuck's sister, because of course she was.

Nepotism for the win!

Though, from everything you'd heard, she was, so far, doing a great job. Far better than her brother ever did.

Castiel had cut all ties with his father and brother. He'd considered doing so earlier, but now that he was expecting a child, the decision came with ease.

He didn't want his child around criminals. Didn't want them to set the wrong example.

That alone told you he was going to be a great father.

The ceremony, modest as it was, was beautiful. Eileen, in her snow-white dress, looked like a princess. No — a queen, the veil a doubling as a crown. Sam was equally handsome, clad in a black suit that made him look somewhat older, more mature, a fairy tale prince come to life.

They said their vows with so much love on their faces you were one hundred percent certain they would make do on them to the letter.

Til death did them part.

There were smiles. Tears. So much joy it was overwhelming.

Meg was the lucky one who caught the bouquet, only to promptly, in a deadpan tone, say, "No," and shove it in Crowley's hands.

Crowley shoved it in Dean's, who shoved it back to him and started what was basically a struggle over the damn thing.

Not marriage material, your group.

Sam was the black sheep.

Laughter was exchanged.

Food — delicious! — eaten.

Drinks downed and refilled.

Dances had.

Aside from the newlyweds, Rowena had proven herself to be quite an attraction with her precise, professional moves. Everyone wanted to be her partner.

Not a dancer yourself, you had no problem with it.

However, after what had to be the tenth request, you considered charging people to dance with your girlfriend.

It was only fair.

The celebration extended long into the night. There was enough alcohol to keep everyone going.

The place, located in the middle of nowhere, was perfect for a party. No neighbors to complain about the noise. No busybodies sticking their nose in. Just a group of people having the fun of their lives, drunk out of their minds.

By the time you and Rowena arrived to your hotel, you were exhausted. There was more alcohol than blood in your veins. Your feet were killing you. Your throat ached from singing and shouting.

You hadn't even removed your clothes — shaking off your shoes, you plopped on the bed, curled up against each other, and drifted off to sleep.

When you woke up, Rowena was looking at you with a smile on her face. Your head pounding as if someone were whacking it with a hammer, eyes stinging, it took a bit of willpower to pull on one of your own.

"Were you watching me sleep?" Your voice was raspy, broken. You cleared your throat. Sucked in a breath.

God.

Singing had been a mistake.

Her smile melted into a smirk. She shrugged, nonchalant. Denying not a single thing. "I was just thinking."

"Should I be worried?" you teased.

"I'd hope not."

Her face grew serious.

Uh oh.

Now you definitely were worried.

Morning — a hungover one at that — was the worst possible time for serious conversations.

It wasn't a surprise, though.

Rowena prided herself in her unpredictability.

"What is it?" you asked, light draining from your face. Preparing for news that, at best, would be unpleasant, and, at worst, absolutely horrible.

"Sam and Eileen seem happy."

They did.

They were happy.

You nodded.

Rowena sighed, "Do you think we're happy?"

What was she trying to say? Heart racing, lump forming in your throat, you uttered a tad too defensively, "Do you think we're not?"

"Of course not!"

She seemed genuine, so there was that.

You allowed yourself a moment of relief. "Me, neither. I'm happy."

"As am I."

Good.

That was good.

You were on the same level.

She was silent for a few moments. Thought her words through. "I was just wondering if we should… take it a step further."

You frowned. "What do you mean?"

You had an inkling, but you wanted to hear it from her.

You wanted her to confirm it.

Rowena swallowed. "Get married."

It was as if all air had vanished from your lungs. Your throat was dry. Heart, once again, running a marathon. Hands shaking as if you were cold.

You weren't — you couldn't be — for as soon as the words left her mouth, a wave of heat flooded you, filled you up from head to toe.

Marriage wasn't on your list of priorities.

Wasn't on any of your lists, as a matter of fact.

You and Rowena loved each other — you didn't need a piece of paper to prove it.

But…

It would be a lie if you said you hadn't considered it once or twice.

What would it be like to call yourself her wife? To wear her ring; a promise in the form of shimmery gold?

"Or maybe just get engaged," she said after a few moments of uncomfortable, deafening silence. "Wear the rings."

You looked at her, eyes wide. Mouth trembling.

She gulped. Uncertain. Frightened. Nervous to the bone. "We don't have to. I was just… thinking out loud." She pulled on another smile — a fake on this time, hurt flickering over her face no matter how hard she tried to mask it. "Forget I said anything."

"No." You reached for her hand, twined your fingers with hers in a tight knot. "We could try."

She was stunned. "Really?"

"I don't see why not."

What was the worst that could happen?

You were already together. Already happy and crazy in love.

"We could try the engagement thing, see if it works," you said.

You had nothing to lose.

At this point, you could only gain.

Rowena beamed. A chuckle escaped her; lovely, happy. Adorable. "Okay!"

It was a perfect arrangement.

"I will get you a ring," she added. "Make it official."

"How about we both get rings?" you said. This was kind of a mutual proposal, after all. And also… "There's nice jewelry shops in the UK, right?"

It was her turn to be confused. "What?"

Your decision.

The one you'd been planning to relay to her.

The timing couldn't have been more perfect.

"We don't have to get engaged in USA, right?" you said. "Think about it. You, a Royal Ballerina. Me, a not-so-royal couch potato. That's a romance movie right there!"

Rowena gasped. Swallowed. Breathed in and out in attempts to contain her excitement. "You want to move to Britain?"

"That's what I'm saying, aren't I?" You grinned. Squeezed her hand. "I've been meaning to tell you. I figured now's the perfect time."

"Y/N, I…" She brought your linked hands to her mouth, kissed your knuckles. "Thank you! I just… Thank you, darling!"

You locked your lips with hers. Deepened the kiss, melted into it. Thought of millions of more you would share.

The future was yours.

All you had to do was seize it. Take it. Dig your claws in and never let go.

"Don't you forget me when you become a world-famous ballerina," you teased.

"Och, darling," she purred, "don't you know by now you're quite unforgettable?"

You chuckled. "Just making sure."

She pecked you on the mouth. "I love you."

"Me, too."

You'd loved her for five years.

You'd loved her when she was bad, and even more when she became good.

You'd loved her when she was away, and you'd loved her when she was here.

You'd loved her in your apartment.

You'd loved her in the United States.

And you would love her in the United Kingdom.

You loved her now, and you would love her in the future.

Forever.

And ever.

Til death did you part.

*****

Tags: @werewolfbarbie @oswinthestrange @songofthecagedmoose @apurdyfulmind @getthesalt-sam @metallihca @salembitchtrials @jay-eris @hellsmother @elizabeth-effie @shadowgirl-vsb @rowenaswife @wonderifshelikesroses @xfireandsin @liddell-alien @hotdiggitydammit @lae-lae @darkhumorsblog @angel7376 @cherrypierowena @ruthieconnells @evil-regal-vampiress @collectorofsecretsandsouls @angel-e-v-a @a-queen-and-her-throne @carryon-doctor-lock

[tavi-hayes]

challenge one ~ first day of the selection

((i honestly have no idea how i even wrote this fic! this was literally written very very quickly so please excuse me for the quality of this, i don’t have time to write anything better. oh and writing out rps is not one of my talents. anyhow thanks to pia @brookelynnsanders for that super fun rp! and thanks to anna for the interview))

We are all waiting for the gigantic doors in front of me to open, well not directly in front me. The other girls are chatting to one another, excited for this whole thing to officially begin.

I, myself, don’t feel that excited. Waking up alone in a new environment, without any of my loved ones around, hit me harder than I expected. Plus my energy levels are a little low, probably because of the time difference with Denbeigh. Back home I’d be in the store right now, my belly already filled with food. But my life had taken an unexpected turn, and I wasn’t sure yet if it was for the better.

Some gasps around me take me out of my daydream, the doors had opened and now there was a clear view of the room inside. The other selected are swarming inside already, but I decide to hang back a little so I can actually breath in some fresh air.

I slowly make my way inside and have a look around. There are lavish decorations everywhere, paintings, flowers, crystal chandeliers. I don’t share the feeling of awe visible on the faces of some of the other girls. What I feel is more like disgust. I mean there are better ways to spend your money. But why would you lower the taxes for the Illéan citizens when those same taxes make it possible for you to buy that enormous Rembrandt?

Another thing I notice are the tables. Five of them are placed on a semi-circle with the sixth one in the front of them. That must be the table for the royal family. A maid taps me on the shoulder and points me to where I’m supposed to sit. How great, from my chair the royal table is right in my line of vision.

I take a deep sigh while making my way to table two. A familiar blonde is already seated, “oh hey Brooke.” She actually seemed alright when I met her yesterday at the airport. Therefore, I’m glad to be sitting next to her. It could have been a lot worse, what if I had been stuck with some dramatic, overly confident Two. Yuck.

“Octavia!” she replies. It’s still weird for me to hear people calling me by my name. I’m so used to everyone calling me Tavi. And the only person who called me Octavia hadn’t been around for six years.

Shaking the thoughts of my dad off me, I take a seat on the chair that has been assigned to me. On the plate in front is a little card with my name written on it in a very elegant handwriting.

“Looks like we are stuck together again.” I quickly scan the other girls from this table. The only person I recognize, beside Brooke, is the one sitting on my left side.

It was the hugely famous Shala Lie. What an honour it is to even be in her presence.

Everyone, and I literally mean anyone, knows her. Even when you have lived under a rock for the past 10 years, you would know of her banging song simply because it was one that got stuck in your head and you would be humming the melody without even being aware of it.

On my other side Brooke chuckles, “rather stuck with the devil I know than a stranger.”

“Amen to that,” I softly chuckle along, “how have you settled in yet? Are you liking your bedroom?”

“Ohh I love my bedroom. Full of plants and a wonderful view on the garden. How about you? No complaints yet.” Thank god for Brooke and her extensive answers. I appreciate someone who can keep a conversation going.

“The gardens must be beautiful, with so many flowers blossoming.” I sigh trying to find the words to describe my own stay. Actually telling her I’m not really looking forward to this whole thing doesn’t seem like the best idea. For now, anyway. Instead I sigh and say, “no complaints yet, no, though this weather,” pfft, “pretty warm, even at night.” While I give the room a quick scan, I notice all girls have taken their seats. My eye also falls on the buffet tables, but too bad it doesn’t seem like we’re allowed to go grab some food just yet. Then I remember the other kind girls from our plane ride yesterday.

Just as I spot them sitting on the table next to ours, Brooke says, “You don't like warm weather, never heard someone complain about the sun. Who are you looking for?”

“When you're used to freezing winds and coldness, this weather feels like a thousand degrees.” Clara and Haven have worse seats then we do, their table is right in front of the royal table. They won’t be able to escape from watchful eyes. Poor girls. “oh just the other girls from our plane, it's good to see they've survived their first night as well.”

The blonde next to me laughs, “why wouldn't they have? Know something about a secret attack?”

I turn back to face her again, “You never know who or what lurks around when everyone is asleep.” We haven’t met the prince yet, maybe he is some creep slipping in and out of our rooms through some secret passages.

Brooke and I chat a bit more before the royal princess herself enters the room. I hear some gasps again, girls staring with nothing but admiration shining in their eyes. The princess smiles at us, I don’t feel the need to smile back. Instead I mumble softly, “this is gonna take a while.”

“Good morning. I’m sure you’re all... eager to start seeing as you’re meeting my brother shortly, so I’ll try to keep this brief.” Well, if there is one person in this room who is eager it’s me. Eager for some food I mean. The princess continues talking with an elegant tone in her voice. With everyone being silent, her voice carries very well over the room. I can tell the acoustics are spot-on, a musical ensemble would really benefit when playing in such a room.

My band would sound a-freaking-mazing here. If I close I my eyes, I can already see us performing here. Though that would mean they’d have to fly in all the way from Winnipeg, costing a lot of money. Money that some of us have to work very hard for.

Then a door opens, some girls turn in their chairs to have a look. What’s that on their faces? Shock? Fear? Jealousy?

I turn my face in the same direction to see someone, a girl, walking into the room. I honestly have no clue who she is or what she is doing here but judging by the smug look she has on her face, she is not some scullery maid.

“Who is it?” I softly ask Brooke. Perhaps she knows something I don’t.

Turns out she is almost as clueless as I am, “She looks familiar, but I can't really pinpoint where I know here from...”

“Hmmm,” the girl walks over to the princess, they seem to know one another. “Maybe a friend? Or some distant relative?”

The princess doesn’t look too happy, a few deep sighs and some looks between the other girl and us.

Then Brooke jumps in, “But why should I recognize a distant rel- ohhhhh.”

I take my eyes of the scene happening in the centre of the room and turn to Brooke instead, “who is it?”

The look on her face is a bit unreadable, “Don't quote me on this, but I am pretty sure it is Prince Arin's ex-girlfriend.”

I have honestly never been the person to show interest in the royal family and their whereabouts. Though there is something inside me that clicks and a memory resurfaces. Gina’s voice calls out to me, ‘his engagement was called off not that long ago.’

“Wait wait, the one from the cancelled engagement?”

Brooke replies with a nod, “yep.”

Why on earth would she be here? Isn’t this like extremely awkward for her? One of us in this room is supposed to fill the spot next to the prince. Correction, her spot.

“Why is she pointing at us?”

I sigh, “don’t know. I wish we could hear what they’re saying.”

“Safiya doesn't seem too happy about the news....” the blonde next to me points out. And she is correct, the princess does not look happy, not at all.

“Yeah you're right, but the other girl, the ex, looks way too happy though.” I say as I flip my hair over my shoulder, “why do I feel like drama is gonna come of this?”

Brooke chuckles, “I wouldn't mind some drama actually.”

I join her, softly that is. I don’t want to catch any attention, especially not the attention from the ex-fiancée. She has a bit of a weird vibe hanging around her, “I agree, this selection could use a little bit of spice.” As long as the drama doesn’t involve me.

The princess’s voice calls out to us again, “table manners are very important, and before you can eat in front of the royal family, you must be aware of certain etiquette.”

With that my focus lands on all the stuff laid out in front of me. I don’t understand why there should be at least 5 glasses for just one person. And I haven’t even said anything about the crazy amount of cutlery. I feel bad for the people who have to do the dish washing here, what a crappy job.

“It’s like we’re back in school again,” a place I hadn’t been to in years. My school years had been with ups and downs. I seem to have troubles keeping my attention on one thing. Every time I need to focus on something my brain seems to riot, making me remember the most random stuff.

Exactly that is happening right now.

I can’t suppress a yawn, “I could use some food.”

Instead of paying attention, I engage in a softly spoken conversation with Brooke about her passions, ballet dancing and psychology.

Suddenly, she gets up. Following the direction she just faced, I see that ex-girlfriend looking towards our table. Brooke does a curtsy, to which I comment, “perfect curtsy, 10 out of 10!” along with some thumbs-up.

She winks at me as she takes a bow, “thank you me lady.”

That makes me laugh, Brooke also makes a sound. Though it’s not coming from her mouth. No, it’s coming from het abdomen area.

I let out an oops. That same thing has happened to me many times before. And always in the most awkward situations. Like on a nearly empty subway train, where you can’t really blame someone else.

“Oh look I think the princess has done with the lesson?” I couldn’t be any happier, given that I could use some food too.

The girl next to me replies, “I fuck- freaking hope so. I am starting to get hangry.”

Oh she is so great. Someone who isn’t looking at everything and everyone with heart-eyes, hoping to make the best impression. No, Brooke seems to be very similar to me, just throwing sarcasm around like confetti but still showing a lot of passion for the stuff she cares about.

Did I just make a friend?

Before I know it, I have my plate in my hand and I’m standing next to my chair, “let’s go!”

Together we make our way to the buffet. There is literally anything you could think off. From cupcakes and waffles, to broccoli and bacon. What is this place?

Brooke seems to have noticed the crazy amount of food as well, “how am I supposed to choose?”

“Just take a bit of everything,” I say as I use some tongs to grab a croissant.

My action doesn’t go unnoticed, “someone learned something today.”

“It might seem shocking, but I did listen to what the princess was saying,” next I move towards the fruit section, but keeping it simple I go for some apple slices, “well only partly but still.”

Brooke giggles at that, “didn't take you for a multitasker.”

Pfft, why do people seem to underestimate me? “I have many talents,” and many of them still hidden, hidden so deeply that even I don’t know what they are.

So far there’s a croissant on my plate and some slices of apple. I decide to take a little bowl filled with yoghurt and add some granola to it.

Brooke is waiting for me to finish, bless her. Her own plate has some very healthy-looking stuff on it.

We barely make it back to our table when Brooke starts attacking her food, something that makes me laugh again. “This is sooo good. Didn't think a palace would have such amazing avocados.”

I take one of the spoons from the table, not knowing nor caring if it’s the correct one, and start eating my yoghurt. “Only the best of the best for this wonderful family.”

After several minutes of eating, I already feel much more alive, “and now that we've had some food the day can officially begin”

I opt for the croissant, but I’m not sure whether to eat it out of my hand or if I should use cutlery. I decide to just take a bite. Not clever Tavi. Crumbs and flakes fall everywhere. On the table, on the napkin covering my lap, on my dress.

The girl next to me hums, her spirits obviously lifted now that she has some food in her mouth, “I guess the prince doesn't have to face hangry Brooke just yet.”

While wiping the crumbs from my dress, making sure no one notices the fact that they’re now on the floor. Oops. “So is food the way to your heart?”

“Not the entire part - but a good chunk of it.”

I instantly forget what I was about to say, when someone’s name is called. My eyes follow the girl as she is escorted out of the room. The first one to meet the prince, tough. She must make a good first impression for herself, and for the rest of the group. If the prince doesn’t like her there’s a huge possibility he’ll be in a crappy mood once it’s my turn.

“Would have preferred some liquid courage beforehand tho,” Brooke chimes next to me.

I laugh as I face her again, “now that would have been interesting!”

“Then everything would be easy peezy lemon squeezy,” she pauses for a little while, “but seriously - are you nervous?”

I shrug, not really knowing what to answer. “A little bit, he is a member of the most powerful family in this country,” flipping my hair again, I decide to redirect the question, “What about yourself?”

Brooke smirks at me, “so you are nervous.” But then she pauses again and I see her smirk drop, “I am not quite sure what I feel... On the one hand I know I should be scared but on the other... I just feel invincible... You know?”

We talk a bit more before someone calls out Brooke’s name. As she gets up, I wish her good luck. She probably won’t need it. If she is anything like the way she was around me this morning, then the prince must instantly like her.

I’m left on my own, alone with my thoughts. But before I know it my name is called. I quickly pick up a spoon to check if there’s some croissant stuck between my teeth. Then I get up, my mind set on making the best first impression as possible. Can’t have him send me home already.

I’m ushered into a different room. The first thing I notice are the cameras. I flinch, if say something stupid or insult the prince, the whole country will be able to see. I can feel my pulse rise, but before the nerves get the best of me, I push them down and lock them away, deeply hidden.

The second thing I notice are the luxurious decorations. Every wall is lined with paintings. I just can’t with these people. Don’t they have better causes to spend their money on?

Only then do I notice the prince, right when he stands up from the sofa. His eyes go to my name tag and then he gives me a small bow, “good morning, Lady Octavia. Please have a seat.”

The imagine of Brooke’s perfect curtsy flashes before my eyes. I try my best to copy it, but I’m failing miserably. Maybe I should have practiced when I had the chance? Oh well, too late for that. “Thank you, Your Highness.” I quickly make my way to the sofa and sit down.

The prince, the most powerful male figure in Illéa, sits down next to me. I strongly feel the need to put some distance between us, but it would be extremely weird if I would just stand up to sit somewhere else. Plus the whole country would be able to see that happen. I can already imagine the headlines in tomorrow’s newspapers.

He takes a deep breath, “how is your morning so far?”

It was perfect you know; I finally learned some table manners. And oh, did I mention your ex-fiancée paying us a visit. What a catch she is! That does not sound like a great answer. So I go for something vague instead, “I can say it has been very interesting so far, thanks. How's your morning going?”

He raises his eyebrows before he smiles a little. “I think mine has been interesting as well. Did you sleep alright last night?”

“Yes I did, the mattress was perfect. Though I was a bit confused when I woke up, I kind of forgot where I was.” Oh not to forget that my bedroom here is bigger in size than the entire first floor of my family’s house back in Winnipeg.

The prince frowns at my answer, but then he nods. “I get that. Being somewhere new can be difficult. What’s your home province?”

Geez, what’s with all these questions. Doesn’t he know how to have a spontaneous conversation. “Denbeigh, sir.” Sir? What are you saying Tavi? I push a curl behind my ear, “oh wait, I meant Your Highness.”

He smiles a little again, “you can call me whatever you like.” I’ll keep that in mind. The prince takes a breath and then adds, “um, what do you do in Denbeigh?”

Memories of my friends and family resurface, a feeling of happiness and pride washing over me. I sit up a little straighter before I blurt out, “I work in a music store, we have all sorts of music instruments and CDs, records, all that sort of stuff.”

“Oh, that sounds cool,” he says as he nods his head. “What sort of music do you like to listen to?”

“What makes you think I like to listen to music?” Oops, that sounded a bit harsh. I decide to add an I’m kidding, just in case he couldn’t tell. “I can appreciate every genre. Though I think my favourite would have to be rock music. What about yourself? Do you like music?”

“I do, yeah. I like alternative mostly. But I like some classical too,” he says before he glances around.

That makes me glance around as well, suddenly making me very aware of the cameras surrounding us. I immediately forget what he just said, “ah okay, yeah that is cool.” That sounds like a very suitable answer. Unless he asked a question. Shit.

I focus back on the prince’s face, trying very hard to forget the cameras filming my every move. His face crunches up again, “uh, how are you liking the weather?”

The weather, some might say it’s an awkward topic to talk about only brought up when in the need to fill a silence. It’s actually one of my favourite conversation topics. “Uhm, very different from the weather I'm used to. Denbeigh's climate is way colder, with a little snowstorm here and there this time a year.”

“Really?” Apparently, my answer caught him by surprise, “I don’t think I realized that. I’ll have to look into it.” What kind of royal person is this? Isn’t he supposed to be the heir to the throne? And he doesn’t even know the different climates?

I decide to hold back from saying that, “yeah go for it. Back home everyone is still walking around in their winter clothing, with so many layers. And here I can basically walk around in a bikini and not be cold at all.”

That makes him chuckle, “you could but the maids might look at you funny.” His reply surprises me. Based on that draw we all saw on tv, I thought he’d be uncomfortable, expressionless and maybe just a tad bit boring. But he turns out to actually have some emotions.

“And they will be blinded by the reflection of the sunlight on my skin, I won't put them through that.” Because let’s be honest, when is the last time I’ve been able to walk around in a bikini outside? Oh yeah that’s right, never!

He laughs a little harder this time, “please don’t, they’d complain.” Then his face is lit up again by a small smile. His laughter, his humour and his smile are all so shocking to me that I even smile in return.

Before I can say something else, he glances at his watch, “oh.” His eyes land on me again, “Lady Octavia, thank you for speaking with me this morning. It’s been a pleasure.”

“Thank you too,” I say and I think I might even mean it. I join him as he stands up, “have fun with the rest of these interviews.”

“I’ll do my best,” he smiles at me again before I walk away.

As I leave that room, I come to the conclusion that this whole prince guy might not be so boring after all.

[dansiere]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm. tagged by: @breselin, & @citialiin; thank you for the tag! I was planning on stealing it. tagging: @rosiqe, @noirtux, @goldgliitters, @ndeavor,  @reminiscentsky, @battleshell, @ettards & whoever else wants to do this. Just steal it & tag me. -- go wild.

My muse is:   canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless / complicated [loosely affiliated mainly due to the fandom’s size. I am quite open to crossovers of any kind, really even if it takes me a while to open up.]

Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO. [she is one of the deuteragonists; has been around since the pilot & while she has been sidelined during the epilogue, she was usually at least around with her story arc / actions having a huge impact on the overall story as such.]

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK. [I guess so? Then again, that’s an objective statement so I am just? Assuming? I personally find her general aesthetics to be quite amazing; she is a dance battler, graceful & elegant; a ballerina with a classical theme that runs through her design & attitude like a red threat. I have a weak spot for stuff like that.]

Is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK. [surprisingly, Pearl is considered to be the strongest non-fusion Crystal Gem according to the show (until Lapis Lazuli comes around). -- I assume prowess wise Pearl is high up next to Garnet & Rose whenever she can actually get her crap together due to having fought countless battles &, most importantly, survived the war in which she fought & shattered opponents thrice her size.]

Are they underrated?  YES / NO / IDK. [partially yes, partially no. She is controversial for sure but just as popular. At some point, the show delved deeper into her issues & actually had her mess up quite severely; the fandom’s reaction was so harsh that the showrunners had to interfere by “apologizing for making her human”. Pearl has always been a target for extreme criticism; some of it justified, some just straight down ridiculous.  -- It’s easy to forget what kind of complexity a character can offer when her resolution arc happens literally ten episodes before the show ends.]

Were they relevant for the main story?  YES / NO.

Were they relevant for the main character?  YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG. [Pearl becomes Steven’s guardian / mentor after the death of his mother Rose Quartz & can later be considered his stand-in mother alongside Garnet. It is safe to say that her actions have influenced Steven the most, both negatively & positively.]

Are they widely known in their world?  YES / NO. [she earned herself the title ‘The Renegade’ during the war for being the first (& arguably only) pearl that broke out of her conditioning; she used to be a wanted criminal / traitor to her own kind for 5000 + years until her record was cleared upon the beginning of Era 3 (aka official end of the Gem War). She is still being referred to as ‘The Renegade’ now & then; while she used to be proud of the title she has grown to resent it a lot these days.]

How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL. [it depends on who you ask; Homeworld Soldiers? Well, they despise her; she is a defective Gem & a war criminal. She stands for all that is wrong with the rebellion; I mean a pearl who refuses to serve & calls herself an individual? a warrior? THE SCANDAL!! Some soldiers are afraid of her, call her ‘Rose Quartz’ terrifying renegade’, even. However, in her ranks aka the rebellion, she is being seen as a silent heroine. A celebrated war hero, Rose Quartz’s right hand & sole confidante (some even whisper that there is more between them).]

How strictly do you follow canon?  — uh... well. Not really but... kinda? Steven Universe’s canon is messy & occasionally QUITE inconsistent. -- while it gives you vague details, some lore can best be compared to a gaping void. Thus my reason for partial divergence isn’t lack of good character writing (because Pearl is very, very complex even on screen), but rather inconvenient lore holes & SU’s habit of leaving important facts uncommented, “unshown” or just stuck between the lines. While I don’t mind deep analysis, some of those “buried facts” fly other people’s heads which leads to terrible, terrible fanon takes. -- in order to distance myself from that, I usually take canon & expand it with my own headcanons & metas based on lore / show analysis. I often alter / cut what does not fit my narrative BUT I always root my stuff in actual canon occurrences.

     Sometimes, I just straight down change certain things that canon messed up in my pov. For example, in order to make it explicitly clear that she fell in love & rebelled on her own volition (even if it has been confirmed like ten times by now), my Pearl is around 1500 years older than the original & (in)directly served White Diamond before being handed to Pink (not the only reason for that change but well I will elude on it eventually). She was a default pearl with no customization & usually spent most of her time with organizing matters in the palace until Pink accidentally broke her customized pearl; Pearl was then 'poofed’ & handed over; she possessed a more sensible personality & a strict rule protocol that was supposed to help her “raise” Pink Diamond into the ranks of a ruler. Most other changes are rather minor but very important or essential to my portrayal (for example whenever “A Single Pale Rose” is concerned: Pearl suggesting the “sealing of the secret”, her not wearing the dress from the beginning, her not calling Pink “my diamond”, her arguing with Pink long before the fake-shattering took place, etc etc.); the epilogue series is another can of worms I will get to eventually but lemme just say I didn’t really like the way Pearl behaved / the plot-bound ooc-ness she sometimes yielded to & other stuff. 

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.  —  well, she is a lesbian space rock from a strange universe; whose body is basically a manifestation of light? She is probably the most passionate being you will ever meet. -- if you are looking for a speedrun through human history, she is your gal. If you need someone to beat up some bullies, she will gladly come & smack sense into people; if you want to learn everything about Gemkind, sit down & listen because she won’t stop talking any time soon. 

     By definition, Pearl is a good person; the extreme loyal kind, absolutely & helplessly dedicated to a cause. She wears most of her emotions on her sleeve, comes off as genuinely caring, protective & trustworthy. She is empathetic & observant, she will always be there for you in one way or another. She is smart, loves to read & indulges in the higher arts such as (romantic) poetry, singing, painting, music (violin, piano, bass) & dance (predominately classic ballet / waltz but she has grown rather fond of jazz lately). Her knowledge about Earth & all that lays beyond is vast & if you ever want to see whatever is out there, she is the type to take you on a space tour with no questions asked. She fences, has learned to wield a lance, can engineer very well, has a very peculiar but... sorta adorable kind of humour that can either be hella obnoxious or super funny. There is no in-between. Pearl loves science, baking, housekeeping, ice-& roller-skating & is more than willing to take people along whenever she visits the rink. If you ask her for advice, she will gladly give it; if you need help, she will be the first to raise her hand. Pearl is orderly, has a strong sense of justice & a fierce, dedicated kind of resolve. 

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).  —  Pearl. Is. A. Mess. No questions asked. She is an introverted, nervous, neurotic, grief-- & trauma riddled mess who loves to pretend & rationalize things to death. Her self-esteem is abysmal, she is extremely jealous, obsessive & possessive [to the point where she straight up murdered men just because they dared to be around her girlfriend]. Her mind is a compartmentalized mess of repressed memories & heavy, untreated cptsd woven into it; Pearl lives too much inside her head & gets overwhelmed by her emotions far too easily; she feels too much all at once & lets her temper get the best of her. 

     She is self-centred, does not seem to understand that words & reckless actions hurt people, believes that only she deserves to grieve Rose & willingly destroyed relationships just to soak in her own misery; self-destruction is her forte & she will indulge in it no matter the consequences. She is often high-strung, judgemental, always has to be right, overachieves & overdoes whenever a chance is given. -- she can be petty, arrogant & desperate for validation. --  Needless to say, Pearl is the kind of person that pretends to be fine for years but once she cracks she reveals that she is anything but. -- she cannot move on, hates men, & just is a lot to deal with. Getting in touch with her means you run the risk to get dragged into her mess, whenever you want it or not. 

What inspired you to rp your muse?  —  first & foremost, my love for complex, purpose-driven female characters. I am a sucker for the “introvert, plagued lady” type & once parts of Pearl’s past were revealed during Season 1 I was sold. Pearl seemed relatable to me, extremely human & raw in her behaviour. While I love most of the SU cast equally, Pearl just wouldn’t let me go. Her aesthetic is amazing, her past intriguing. -- her connection to ballet & classical music, her elegant & graceful design just spoke to me. 

What keeps your inspiration going?  —  music. music. oh, and music. Poetry, long walks (I am not kidding), analysis, meta & hc writing, discussions with writing partners or my rl partner @rosiqe.

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO / I SINCERELY HOPE I DO? [ despite my emo peculiar take on the character, I do hope that people hear her voice whenever they read my replies. ]

Do you frequently write headcanons?  YES / NO / SORT OF? [ I wish I could post more but I am very, very slow & a perfectionist at heart. -- I try to compensate for my lack of actual hcs by rambling in my tags. Most part of the time said ramblings include personal headcanons or analyses of specific scenes that include personal takes on pivotal situations; while I gather & write them down eventually, it can take me a long time to get stuff done. -- it is easier for me to jus blabber on & on in the tags. ]

Do you sometimes write drabbles?  YES / NO [ all my ask replies are drabbles, ngl. ]

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO

Are you confident in your portrayal?   YES / NO / SORT OF? [... a sore topic. While I love my headcanons & have gotten quite proud of my writing over time, I constantly doubt myself regarding the “ic”-ness of my responses. I like to believe that I am doing rather well, but I am not confident, no. ]

Are you confident in your writing?  YES / NO. [ it took me a long time to develop my style; while I always struggle to believe in my portrayal I am quite confident in my writing as such. I know it’s not everyone’s cup of tea but in general? I am proud of it. ]

Are you a sensitive person?  YES / NO. / SORTA.

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?  —  Well, yes. As long as it is the constructive kind. I love receiving feedback, may it be negative or positive. I will most likely try to discuss criticism with you; aka if you (i.e) tell me that Pearl shouldn’t have (C)PTSD, I will deliver canon proof & state my reasoning for my decision to implement it in my canon, etc. What I will not do is tolerate character hate or unreasonable hate towards my writing. Be assured that I will never headcanon something that has no solid footing in canon.

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?  —  ABSOLUTELY. Send me random hc / meta asks, I beg you.

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?  —  sure. As stated above, I will probably discuss stuff with you. The chance of me dropping a headcanon however are rather low.

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?  —  Hm... it depends on what they don’t like. If it’s my writing, well, why are you following me to begin with?? If it is my take on things... well again, why are you following me? I stated in my rules what you should expect & that I will not water down specific aspects of a complex character. Disliking my portrayal is fine since I know that my kind of writing / analysis isn’t necessarily everyone’s tea but... again, why would you keep following me?

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?  —  um. Not... well? While I will never excuse my muse’s actions, I dislike groundless bashing. In regard to Pearl... well. As stated above, I expected backlash the second I created this blog. Pearl is one of those characters the fandom either loves or hates; her canon relationship to Rose was branded toxic by a ton of people, people call her uncaring, salty, insane & straight up manic, she seemingly has no redeeming qualities, she is a bitch, too perfect (LOL) or arrogant & apparently has no character? I love it when people say stuff like that because... did we watch the same show? Is there a version of SU I don’t know? Please tell me, I wanna see it for myself! Some hot takes in this fandom are atrocious & make me want to commit a crime. 

     -- but I digress. I have spent too much time in her tag in 2014 + & I have seen quite the fights over the most ridiculous things; Pearl, in particular, got quite the flack for stuff that eventually got resolved in season 5 [which, again, was way too late but well]. In the end, clowns will be clowns, no matter what you do. I just don’t get why you would follow someone if you hate their character to begin with.

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?  —  yes, but please don’t be rude about it. I am German, English is my second language. I am currently learning Swedish / improving my Swedish so mistakes can always happen. Additionally, I am someone who posts her replies in the middle of the night & while I proofread a lot & most likely fix posts after I posted ‘em, some mistakes can still slip through. 

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?   —  ... I like to believe I am but I know that I am overly passionate & I can come off as too strong or too fierce sometimes. I can be too much, I can be too excentric (I’m a Scorpio, Karen); I have strong opinions in regard to my characters & I will not hold them back. I criticise shows mercilessly & I will plough through canon as much as I please. Stans & I usually don’t get along. HOWEVER, I am a meme. I love lame jokes, I am awkward, & sometimes very, very insecure. In the end,  I just wanna talk about my favourite characters & develop sth wonderful. I keysmash unironically, I use old memes unironically. I mean I have been writing for ten + years & I am about to smooth sail post the 24 age border aka I will turn 25 soon which renders me old according to tumblr standards. I am just here to have fun before the staff comes to lock my account down due to my status as an rp-senior. -- yeah... that is the kind of stupid ass humor I mean. I digress but... please, I am an awkward, rambling mess, just hit me up via dms & you will see what I mean. 

[hotchley]

so why can’t you see (you belong with... each other?)

@whoreforthebauteam I don’t know if you want to be tagged in every chapter, but it was your present, so I am, I hope that’s okay!!

I take back what I said last time, this is my favourite scenario.

This is stupid, wildly inaccurate, probably an insult to every dance teacher that has ever walked the planet and also... just really stupid. But I had fun writing it, it’s almost 11:30pm, I’m tired and yeah.

We’re going with it. Ignore any errors and lack of continuity, I wrote most of this whilst fasting and literally just wanted to get it done so I can work on mr scratch

Erm, updates will probably be even worse after this because I have exams coming up and the next thing is completely... I don’t have any ideas, but yeah- just a heads up

previously: part one , part two , part three

read on ao3!

Chapter Four: Attempt Three- Penelope Garcia

Penelope Garcia loved love, in every single one of its forms. Her unfailing belief in love and its goodness was one of the things that defined who she was. It let her look at screens filled with horrors and was one of the biggest reasons for her to smile.

She loved the romantic love she had for Marissa. She loved the way Derek looked at Spencer when he thought nobody was watching him. She loved the platonic love JJ had for Hotch, and the way she would slip him chocolates when he seemed more pale than usual. She loved the love of a father Aaron had for Spencer, even though neither had experienced it properly.

She loved the ways in which people found love, and how they clung to it. She loved the way it made people smile and the things they were willing to do for it.

Which was why breaking up with Kevin had been the best decision about love she ever made. Because Kevin did not love her in the way that she deserved. And when she walked away from him one last time, she had felt relieved. Not sad, or angry. Relieved.

JJ and Emily had been ecstatic when she'd turned up at their apartment with a bottle of wine. They hadn't liked Kevin much, they thought he was a bit dodgy and not worth her time, but because she had seemed happy and it was easy to keep an eye on him to make sure he wasn't being a creep, they'd refrained from saying anything too obvious. 

That same evening, she had phoned Derek and Spencer, who also then dropped their plans and they ended up having an impromptu party on a work night because she was finally free of Kevin and his existence.

When they turned up the next day, slightly hungover, Hotch had seemed like a disapproving parent- they'd exited the elevator with groans and complaints, Penelope massaging her forehead- and immediately gone silent when they realised he was standing there, holding a file, scowl looking slightly harsher than usual.

"It's lovely of you to join us. In the future, if you're going to be running three hours late, please inform either me or Rossi. Hell, tell Strauss. We've had people trying to track you down for the past hour and a half. Poor Anderson looked like he was going to resign from the FBI, and his face is never going to be the same after the frown lines you gave him," he had said, voice completely even.

"Hotch we're really sorry, we genuinely did not mean to cause such a big problem-" JJ had started, the first to recover.

He gave them one of his small, secretive smiles that seemed to light up his entire face and soften his eyes. "I'm joking. Everyone's fine. But seriously, please do tell us, we were beginning to worry. Is everyone okay though? It's not like you five to all be late on the same day."

Spencer looked between Penelope and Emily, who were smirking at each other, whilst JJ and Derek sighed but glared at the two mischief causers, warning them to not give away too much.

"I broke up with Kevin," Penelope blurted out.

Hotch's smile faded, and a look of concern settled over his features. "Oh, Penelope. Are you okay? Do you need some time off? You have lots of leave, I can clear it now if you'd like me to, there's no problem."

She started laughing. "Sir, we were having a party. I was never fully happy with him and breaking up with him was like- it was like coming into the office after a very annoying person was stuck with me during a case and finding that my handsome Unit Chief has sent me flowers."

Hotch seemed secretly proud that Penelope had broken up with Kevin because he had also never been a big fan of him, a fact that he had never really kept secret. When she mentioned the flowers he had sent her, many years ago, his jaw dropped.

"You never-"

"I wanted to let you think I didn't know. Now, shall we go?"

"Of course. Dave will probably want to hear about your reactions to my speech." When he saw how shocked they all looked, he continued. "It wasn't my idea!"

And Kevin had been completely forgotten by all of them. 

Three months later, Penelope had met Marissa. As cliche as it was, they met a coffee shop. Their orders had been mixed up- she'd ended up with a flat white instead of the new toffee flavoured latte she had wanted to try- and neither had realised until it was too late. 

When she'd gone back the next day, the barista had handed her a coffee without her even placing an order. She'd tried to tell them that she hadn't asked for it, but they had simply smiled at her, then pointed at Marissa, who had waved her over. Said that she wasn't a big fan of toffee, but she thought the pretty woman's boldness was something she wanted to be too, and if Penelope was willing to go on a walk with her.

One thing led to another, and a month later, they were officially dating. Penelope had never been happier in a relationship. Marissa's sarcasm and dry sense of humour balanced out her brightness and inappropriate jokes, but it wasn't just that made them compatible. It was everything else too. They just fit. And when Penelope stared into her eyes, still so mesmerised by them almost seven months later, she could see a future that would've never been able to have with Kevin.

Marissa was a dance teacher. Primarily contemporary and ballet, but she was thinking about branching into ballroom dancing, and it was exactly that fact that sparked Penelope's idea. Her original idea had involved flash mobs and individual confessions of love, but she also wanted to respect that Hotch enjoyed his privacy. And that he didn't like a fuss to be made of him, ever, even when it really was needed.

She didn't tell the others that she was planning anything, otherwise they would've started asking and it was such a good idea that she just wouldn't have been able to keep the knowledge to herself. It wasn't anything bad, she just didn't want to tell them and have it fall through because Marissa wasn't able or comfortable with doing it.

It was date night when her plan began. She had taken Marissa ice-skating, which had been an incredible experience and something that always made her feel like she was flying. Apparently some of the other people had taken some photos of them, holding each other and laughing at their own antics, so she was waiting for them to download. Marissa was laughing at something a child was doing, sipping her hot chocolate as she tried to warm herself up.

And Penelope knew, it was then or never.

"Sweetness, remember when you said you wanted to start teaching ballroom?" she asked suddenly.

Marissa tucked her hair behind her ear. "Yeah, but I still think it might be risky, because I've never been taught how to teach it and I don't want to mess it up."

Penelope took her hands and Marissa smiled. In some way, it reminded her of the way Hotch smiled- small and subtle, but absolutely everything to witness. 

"If you want to do it, then you should. And I've seen you teach before, there's no way you could mess this up. But, and this is completely up to you, I have an idea. It could benefit both of us."

“Both of us? What is this plan?”

“You need to practice on someone to gain some confidence. So practice on my team. They’ll be delighted to help you, and then we can all spend more time together. They really like you. Much more than anyone else I’ve introduced them to. They’ll say yes.”

“Would they? It would be amazing if they did.”

“Of course they will.”

“Penelope, I love you so much. Thank you for doing this. I’m confused though. What do you get out of this?”

“The opportunity to go down in history as the best Cupid the world has ever seen.”

"What on earth- actually don't tell me now, I'll end up spilling your plan to the people involved," Marissa said, snuggling closer. Penelope pressed a kiss to her hair, smiling at the thought of spending more time with her girlfriend and winning the bet.

The next day, she went and sat with everyone in the bullpen, balancing her laptop on her knees as she worked. The rest of the team were working on individual consults, but Derek and JJ had decided to spend some time with their partners instead of just sitting in their offices. Rossi was doing his work from his office, and Hotch was in a meeting with Strauss and the Director. He hadn't seemed happy about it.

"Guys, what would you do if I said I can get Hotch and Rossi together but I need you to come to Marissa's practice run of a ballroom dancing lesson in order for it to work?" she asked, not even looking up from her screen.

"Start from the beginning," JJ said.

"Nope, because that will ruin my plan. Would you?" 

“I mean, if Spencer didn’t mind, I would go. Any excuse to dance with the prettiest boy I know,” Derek said, a small and loving smile plastered across his face.

Spencer looked down slightly, cheeks tinged with a blush. “If it’ll help the two of them be happy, then fine, yes. But only if you promise to not make any comments if I’m not good at it.”

“Spencer, of course we won’t judge, dancing can be quite hard. And it’s not going to be a super serious session, it’s a trial run for Marissa and my attempt at getting them together, so it’s not the end of the world. JJ? Emily?”

“If Will can take Henry for the day, then sure, otherwise I don’t think I’ll be able to make it, is that okay?” JJ said, already pulling her phone out to see whether or not he was available. He responded moments later, saying it would be fine, and Penelope smiled.

“Sure. I’m excited to see whether your plan can top mine,” Emily said.

Penelope grinned. “Great! I’ll see you all at ten on Saturday then. Now I just need to get the two of them to agree…”

As she headed up to Rossi’s office, the four remaining team members all gave each other identical looks of fear. They knew that, realistically, Penelope’s plan couldn’t be that wild or dangerous, but they also knew how fiercely determined she could be when there was something she wanted to achieve. They also knew how adamant she was that everybody would find love, they just needed to be ready and willing. So they really had no idea what they were getting themselves into.

They assured themselves they would be fine, because they weren’t the ones being set up. And then they immediately felt extreme amounts of relief at the fact that Penelope had never once turned her match-making skills to them.

Rossi was working on the paperwork he’d stolen from Hotch’s office when Penelope knocked, popping her head around the door. The open blinds meant the team were able to watch through the window, and they did. They weren’t profiling, they were just observing for a bit of fun and to try and see whether or not they’d be able to get any more information from their exchange.

“Sir, what are your opinions on ballroom dancing?” she asked, not even bothering with hello.

“It’s okay. I don’t have particularly strong opinions on it either way. Why?” Rossi responded.

“Because Marissa would like to find out whether or not she would be able to teach ballroom dancing, so I have offered us up as guinea pigs for her to test on but she obviously can’t just do it with two couples, so I was wondering whether you’d be willing to come or if I needed to ask Anderson,” she said, tone not indicating any sort of ulterior motive whatsoever.

“If she’s teaching, you would need to be her partner so she could demonstrate. Who exactly is my partner?” 

“Hotch of course. Sir, he could never say no to you. He loves you too much- us. He loves us too much. To say no. Or to deny us something small like this,” she said, realising as she spoke that it was too much, too soon.

Rossi went to deny that Hotch loved him- in any way, not just the one he’d found himself thinking about as he’d washed the singular plate and singular wine glass the previous night- but found that he couldn’t. Because Penelope was right. In some way, Hotch loved every single member of the team, in a way that Max Ryan and Jason Gideon would never have been brave enough to do.

It filled him with pride, a little sadness, and something close to admiration that he was too much of a coward to properly define. And then he realised that he had gone too long without speaking, because Penelope was beginning to shift uncomfortably.

“Sir? Are you okay? You kinda… disappeared for a moment there,” she said.

“I’m okay, just thinking. Of course I’ll tag along to the dance lesson, if only to give Morgan a few funnier nightmares. When is it?”

Penelope grinned, so wide and so beautifully, it almost hurt. He pushed the thought from his head. She was never going to lose her faith in the beauty of people. Not whilst she was able to find the beauty in everything, and not whilst she smiled without any shame or hesitance.

“Saturday and ten, unless we get a case, and if we do, we’ll sort it out after. Does that work for you?”

Even if hadn’t, he would’ve completely rearranged his career to make it. He didn’t just want to give Derek some funny nightmares. He also wanted to spend time with the team, and watch Hotch morph into Aaron as he smiled unabashedly and was dressed in casual clothes- he needed to get a grip. 

“Of course it does. Thank you for inviting me,” he said, hoping that would end the conversation.

It did. When Garcia closed the door behind her, he groaned, then buried himself in the paperwork. Nothing would distract him more than trying to come up with a real justification for the BAU technology budget (Aaron’s preliminary notes just said: they don’t have to deal with a pouting Penelope.)

She just gave a thumbs up to the team, then went back into the bullpen. As she set about making her own tea, she realised that Hotch had returned from his meeting. It hurt a bit, to see him look so exhausted and disheartened. He always was, when he returned from those meetings with the Director, even with Strauss acting as a buffer between the two of them. So she made him one of her special coffees- with the added caramel and hazelnut milk- before heading up to his office, not bothering to knock because he had spent so long trying to convince them all it was fine to not knock that she couldn’t bring herself to do it.

“Oh hello Garcia. Did you need something?” he asked.

She set the coffee down and took the seat opposite. “Not in the conventional way.”

He smiled at the drink, taking a single sip, and some of the light returned to his eyes. “Oh? What do you mean?”

“Well you know Marissa right?”

“Of course I do, she’s lovely. Penelope, I really don’t think I’m the best person to come to if you need advice. Surely Derek or JJ would be better?”

“I don’t need advice silly,” she said with a smile, because her boss was just so good to all of them. “I need you to come to the dance studio on Saturday at ten because she wants to start teaching ballroom dancing and I’ve offered us up as test subjects.”

He blinked, and she realised how rude her demand had sounded.

“Only if you and Jack didn’t have plans and if you’re willing and actually able to of course,” she added hastily.

“Are you sure you want me there? I’m not… the best dancer, and I don’t want Marissa to be discouraged just because I have two left feet,” he said, looking slightly hesitant, but like he would say yes with a bit of encouragement.

“Sir, the worst of a dancer you are, the better. But I’ve saw you with Haley. You could give Derek a run for his money. There’s no pressure. I just wanted to ask because Derek, Spencer, Emily and JJ are acting as the other two couples. Rossi said he would come, but if you can’t make it-”

“Dave agreed?” Aaron cut in, meeting her eyes properly for the first time since they started talking. There was something behind the shock and slight glee that made her feel warm inside. She had been right- they both just needed a push.

“Yeah, he said the timing works for him. If it doesn’t for you-”

“No, it’s perfect. Jack doesn’t need to spend every waking moment with me, and he’s actually got a soccer camp that weekend, so I would’ve been in the apartment alone anyways. Of course I’ll come. It’s for you and Marissa after all,” he said, giving her the same smile usually reserved for Jack.

And Dave.

“Oh sir, thank you, thank you, thank you! Marissa is going to be so excited when I tell her! I promise you, even if it’s a disaster, you’ll have fun, and she will appreciate it more than you could ever imagine!”

“Penelope, it’s okay,” Hotch said with a slight laugh. “I’m not doing anything that out there.”

“I know that. But you’re just a good boss. You always have been,” she said, getting up and going to the door.

Hotch blushed and looked down. “Penelope…”

“Yes?”  she asked, turning back.

“What does- what should I wear?”

She had to bite back a laugh, because there was her fierce Unit Chief, who had barely blinked when a gun was fired just to the left of his good ear, staring at her like she carried all the answers, with flushed cheeks, asking what he should wear to a dance lesson where the ulterior motive was to get him with his best friend. Not that he knew about that. 

“Anything that’s comfortable,” she said, then left.

Marissa was indeed very happy when she found out, and when Penelope watched her face break into a grin as she processed the knowledge, she realised that happiness didn’t come from a relationship, but sharing it was amazing.

By some miracle, no out of town cases crossed their desks, which meant Saturday morning saw them all at the dance studio, dressed in t-shirts and sweatpants, stretching so they didn’t pull a muscle.

Hotch had paled slightly as Marissa explained that one.

“Okay, so what I’m going to have you do is pair up, and face each other. First I’ll describe how you’re meant to position your arms, then you’ll try and do it, and I’ll correct you if you’re wrong. Then I’ll just need you to follow my lead- I’ll demonstrate with Penelope. We’ll go from there. Is that good with everyone?” she said, after everyone had stretched for an adequate amount of time.

“Of course,” Derek said. Spencer nodded, looking slightly nervous, but Derek noticed and immediately placed a hand on his back to try and soothe him. It worked. JJ and Emily also nodded. Rossi grinned, and Hotch seemed hesitant, but stood up nonetheless.

“Great, so if you could all just turn and face your partners,” Marissa said, grinning when she took Penelope’s hands to press a kiss to them.

Derek and Spencer snickered at each other, which set off JJ and Emily, but Dave wouldn’t quite meet Aaron’s eyes. He was too afraid of meeting his eyes. Those beautiful and caring brown eyes that always sparkled with love whenever he saw his son, or his former sister-in-law that had really been his sister ever since Haley first confessed to her about her crush on him, all those years ago.

“Dave, are you okay to lead?” Marissa asked, pulling him from his thoughts. 

“Hmm? Oh yeah, sure. Aaron is that okay?” he asked.

Aaron nodded, cheeks slightly flushed. “Course it is.”

“Great, so just place your arms… like this,” Marissa said, moving him slightly. It meant he was close enough to hear Aaron’s heartbeat. It was slightly erratic, and he frowned, wondering why. It wasn’t like him to be nervous about something like this.

“Okay, so ballroom dancing obviously covers a wide range of dance styles, so to keep things simple, we’re just going to a waltz. So hands where I’ve told you to put them- Spencer and Derek I am looking at you, and follow my instructions as best you can. We’ll go from there.”

Spencer laughed, whilst Derek pretended to be scandalised. Emily gagged, and Aaron couldn’t contain his laugh at their antics. It was the most beautiful thing Dave had ever heard, so fearless and carefree that it physically hurt him, and he was well and truly screwed. To try and move past the feeling in his stomach that he most certainly was not going to name, he placed his hands exactly where Marissa had told him, noting that Aaron’s breath seemed to catch in his throat. He told himself to not to read into it.

Which was funny, because Aaron was telling himself that he needed to get his heartbeat under control. That there was no deeper reason behind Dave’s refusal to meet his eyes. There was a completely reasonable explanation for the goosebumps that seemed to be spreading under his shirt, and there was no way he had been holding his breath without realising, only releasing it when Dave ran his hands down his arms.

“Okay, so person that’s leading, step this way,” Marissa instructed.

Dave did exactly as she said with no hesitation. Aaron flushed as the realisation that they were about to be dancing together, with all of their subordinates there to witness any failures. It was strange, but he felt like both Marissa and Penelope were watching him more intently than the others.

Dave had said everything would be fine, that there was nothing going on, but he couldn’t help the uneasy feeling forming in his stomach. The same feeling he instinctively got every time Jack appeared with glitter in his hands. He wondered when he started seeing the members of his team as children.

He also wondered how soon he’d be able to retire, now that more and more parallels between the qualified FBI agents who were trusted to carry weapons and talk down killers and his seven-year-old son were becoming clear.

“Where’s your mind gone?” Rossi asked, pulling him back into the moment.

Hotch stumbled slightly, but Dave’s arms were solid and firm around him, keeping him upright and leading him around their little area as though it was the most natural thing in the world to him.

“Nowhere interesting,” he said. Dave was always so smart, and everything he said had a purpose. If he knew Aaron was thinking about the younger members of the team as children, he’d never hear the end of it.

Dave stepped back, pulling Aaron flush against him as Marissa demonstrated exactly what they were meant to be doing. Aaron turned so Dave wouldn’t see the colour rise to his cheeks. It was beautiful to see the other members of his team, just having fun and enjoying themselves like there was nothing wrong in the world.

“You don’t give yourself enough credit. Even if nobody else does, I find that brain of yours fascinating, no matter what it is you’re coming out with.”

“I was just thinking about the team. And how far they’ve come. And how I have no idea when I became their pseudo-parent, but that it doesn’t fill me with fear anymore,” he confessed.

“You’ve come so far too. And you’ve always been like family to them,” Dave said. Family. Nothing more. Certainly not anything romantic.

Hotch couldn’t help but laugh. “If Max heard you say we were like a family-”

“He’d murder me and they’d never catch him. I know.”

“Guys you’ve done really well, and this has really helped me, so I think we’re good to call it a day now. We’ll just do some cool-down stretches and then you can all go back to normal and pretend this never happened. Unless you want to go for lunch. That’s also an option,” Marissa said with a slight laugh. 

“Lunch would be amazing, I’m starving,” JJ said.

Derek shrugged. “We don’t have any plans, do we, pretty boy?”

Spencer shook his head. “Also Marissa said she would try and show me that new magic trick, and lunch would be the perfect time to try and understand how it works.”

“Aaron?” Marissa asked.

From behind her, Emily and Derek cringed. It was stupid, but hearing Hotch be referred to as Aaron always felt weird. It didn’t matter whether it was Jessica, Erin, Marissa or Dave doing it, there was just something about their boss being known as anything but his nickname that felt like calling a parent their first name.

“If I won’t be intruding,” he said.

“Never!” Penelope exclaimed, grinning even wider when she realised that Dave’s hands were still on Hotch’s waist. She tapped Marissa on the shoulder, subtly gesturing to the sight. Marissa had very quickly realised what was going on, so a lot of what she had done was to try and aid the attempt.

“But before we do, Dave, do you mind if I use you and Aaron to demonstrate one last thing? It won’t take long, I just want to do it before we go,” she said.

Derek frowned, and Penelope let out a quiet gasp when she realised that Marissa didn’t really want to demonstrate something, she wanted to push them even closer than the morning already had. 

She was going to win the bet!

“Oh sure. Aaron, you mind being my partner one last time?” Dave teased.

“Never,” Aaron said, voice strangely vulnerable. Something flashed across Dave’s face, before he smirked and adjusted the way his hands were positioned. 

Marissa led them through a different type of waltz. Aaron stumbled and missed the steps a few times, but Dave carried him through flawlessly, and was so confident as he glided around the small studio, Aaron following him without a shadow of doubt because of the trust between them, that it was almost impossible to pick up on. 

“And Aaron, twirl into his arms!” Marissa shouted, as the music reached a climax and Dave let go of his one of his hands, forcing him to spin outwards. Her plan was for them to meet the others eyes, and see the love that everyone else had apparently picked up on, and do something about it.

What happened was slightly different.

Aaron overbalanced as he turned into Dave’s arms, which wouldn’t have been the end of the world. Unfortunately for everyone, at some point during the final dance, his laces had come undone. So not only did he overbalance, he stepped on the aforementioned undone lace. Which also would have been fine, if it had just been that, and that alone. But because it was combined with the overbalancing, he did not manage to meet Dave’s eyes and see something more than friendship reflected in them.

He did however, manage to make an absolute fool of himself as he fell to the ground, reflexes too slow to stop himself from hitting it face-first. The noise of pain he let out was enough to make Emily stop laughing at his misfortune.

Dave immediately crouched down next to him, gently turning him and shifting him into a sitting up position so they could check that he didn’t have a concussion or any other injuries.

“My face really hurts,” Aaron whined after blinking a few times, feeling more oriented.

“I mean you did hit the floor pretty hard,” Emily teased. When Penelope hit her arm, she pretended to look completely innocent.

“Aaron, I’m so sorry-” Marissa started.

“You didn’t do anything wrong, don’t feel guilty. Besides, that was the most fun I’ve had without Jack in a while. I would definitely do it again, just with my laces actually tied properly. Dave, why are you looking at me like that?” he rambled.

“I think you’ve broken your nose,” Dave said, sounding nonchalant but panicking because he had no idea what he was meant to do in this situation.

“Oh,” was all Aaron said.

Morgan leapt into action the moment he processed the words. “Dave, get him to the hospital. They can make sure that nothing else is wrong and fix his face properly, without causing more damage. And you’re his proxy. Because it’s just a minor thing, the rest of us don’t need to be there, but we will all go for lunch so that we’re together if there’s any news. Okay?”

Everyone nodded, quickly gathering their things and departing. Before she left, Garcia gave her boss a kiss on the forehead, feeling terrible that things had gone downhill, but also grateful that he wasn’t mad, had ended up having fun, and that Marissa’s confidence didn’t seem too shaken.

Derek shook his head as he watched the women argue over something, whilst Marissa showed Spencer the magic trick she had promised him. How the bet had gone from the joke it had started as to this was beyond him, but he wasn’t blind. He had seen them dancing. They loved each other. It was just a matter of making them realise that it was romantic, not platonic.

An idea was forming, but until they got confirmation that Hotch- not Aaron because that was weird, no matter what Marissa said- was fine, he would put any and all thoughts about it to one side. He was a bit annoyed at himself for being such a romantic though. It meant he needed to actually come up with a decent plan.

Hotch did end up being fun. The doctors were- in Morgan’s words- fix his face without causing more damage. And whilst he passed their tests without any issues, they did decide to keep him in overnight, just to make sure he didn’t have any sort of delayed confusion or injuries.

Dave stayed until visiting hours ended. A fact that was not lost on the rest of the team.

Before he left, Aaron called out his name, and he turned.

“Yes?”

“Thank you for staying,” Aaron whispered.

“It wasn’t difficult to. It’s never been difficult with you,” he replied, wishing he could put it more eloquently, but he had no idea how to.

Aaron just smiled, wishing he could say something intelligent too, but he was tired and his head was killing him. “Have a nice evening Dave,” he settled on in the end. It wasn’t much, but it was something.

“Sweet dreams Aaron,” Dave said. It didn’t sound sarcastic, so Aaron smiled.

He dreamt of dances and double beds and drenched shirts, but throughout all of it, Dave seemed to be watching over him like a guardian angel, so the sleep he had was peaceful. Strange, but peaceful.

He would cling to that feeling of peace when he entered the office on Monday, because something was definitely going on.

Only it seemed like Derek was plotting. Aaron wasn’t sure how he felt about that. All Derek knew was that soon, the other members of the BAU would be buying him coffee and deeming him the best matchmaker of all time.

[alediazpizarro]

Senior Soundtrack

Music is a love language. Lo he tuiteado, lo he dicho, y —con ustedes— lo he vivido. Parte de mis 7 años en ASF ha sido la música que he compartido: canciones que son intereses en común, recomendaciones, o hasta tracks de obras de teatro que nunca voy a borrar de mi memoria. After all, de eso se trata la música en parte: de acordarse. Y sepan que cada vez que oiga una de las canciones en esta lista, va junto con su recuerdo. A todos ustedes, de todo corazón, gracias. No sé que sería de mi vida sin ustedes.

Les dejo la playlist que construyeron conmigo, whether you knew it or not, de 2014 para acá.

PS: si no aparece su nombre en esta lista de canciones, lo único que quiere decir es que we have yet to share a song. Los adoro a todos. 

Abarca

Burn · Lin Manuel Miranda You have the voice of an angel, and every time I think of this song I no longer hear it in Philippa Soo’s voice, but in yours.

Tuyo · Rodrigo Amarante Dancing Kermit.

Alexander

"Eungenio” Salvador Dalí · Mecano We love the music, hate the lyrics.

Na Na Na · My Chemical Romance Debate bus trips. Blasting it from the backseat, with Nesquik and cold pasta at hand.

I’m Not Okay · My Chemical Romance “¿Estos son los Rolling Stones?”

Being Alive · Stephen Sondheim Life’s dream: be Bobby. Not literally. That would suck.

If I Could Tell Her · Benj Pasek & Justin Paul You once said this is the song you would dedicate to me. Though I think we’ve grown past that, I will always remember how warm it made me feel when you said it.

Ana

Isle of Flightless Birds · Twenty One Pilots Ya sé que me odias, pero DARARAAAARAAA

I’m Low on Gas and You Need a Jacket · Pierce The Veil El concierto que más he disfrutado en mi vida (and that’s saying a lot), y parte de por qué fue porque fui contigo. Lloramos en esta canción y en el video que grabé con mi horrible teléfono se oye lo feo que cantamos. 

In the Aeroplane Over the Sea · Neutral Milk Hotel De un Tiktok (de miles) que me mandaste pero de los pocos que sí abrí.

Numb · Linkin Park WAWAWAWAWAWA 

Anna

Fashionista · Jimmy James Really obscure pre-middle school memory, pero every time it gets stuck in my head me acuerdo de ver el lyrics video en el ballet y la miss Celia regañándonos.

Ari

Life Itself · Glass Animals It slaps. Plus, concert.

Remember When · Wallows My favorite song in my “Drive” playlist, cada vez que sale I remember sitting in the backseat of your dad’s car and you turning the volume up so we could drive over the Reforma speed limit with this blasting.

The Cave of Two Lovers · That LSD guy from Avatar SECRET TUNNEL!!!!!!!! SECRET TUNNEL!!!! THROUGH THE MOUNTAIN!!!! SECRET SECRET SECRET SECRET TUNNEEEEEEEL!!!! (No Spotify version, so here’s the surf rock cover.)

Covarrubias

Toxic · A Static Lullaby Flashbacks a clase de Ms. Miranda en 7º.

Back to Black · Amy Winehouse No puedo oír esta canción sin acordarme de tu audición para Grease. Rizzo could-have-been?

Diana

The Adults Are Talking · The Strokes Es chill yet vaguely nostalgic Diana vibes to the max.

Stuck on the Puzzle · Alex Turner Thank you for liking Alex Turner. :`)

Dark Red · Steve Lacy Memorias de una tarde que pasamos armando Repentinos con una mini guillotina y pláticas de Dinamarca.

Diego

Thinking of a Place · The War on Drugs La primera que me recomendaste, y la mejor para manejar de noche.

Vissi d’Arte · Giacomo Puccini No creo que hubiera visto Tosca si no me la hubieras recomendado. Qué bueno que lo hiciste, porque esta aria se volvió de mis favoritas. 

Money · Pink Floyd Alguna vez jugamos music trivia en el salón de Stearns y me acuerdo de que yo todavía no la ubicaba pero tú la adivinaste sin problema. Years later, eres la persona que sé que le gusta Pink Floyd tanto como a mí. Lástima de Roger. :(

Layla · Derek & The Dominoes Este año tuve un classic rock renaissance que empezó, you guessed it, cuando me recomendaste esta. Clapton no falla.

Klavierkonzert Nr. 21, No. 2 “Andante” · Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart También me hiciste escuchar mucha más música clásica de la que conocía, y aprendí a disfrutarla. Esta sigue siendo mi favorita.

Sara · Fleetwood Mac De las pocas de Fleetwood Mac que no conocía pero que me recomendaste en uno de esos exchanges a las 12 am y que oí con audífonos in the dark.

Resguardum Ether · León Larregui También de las pocas de este cuate que nunca había oído pero que se volvió de mis favoritas.

Fer

Good Life · OneRepublic Buenas vibes.

Can’t Fight This Feeling · REO Speedwagon Horton --> improvised conciertos en el baño.

What the Heck I Gotta Do · Lin Manuel Miranda Más conciertos de regadera/vestidor en lo que nos arreglamos juntas.

Beth · KISS El club Glee y el karaoke en el Wii.

Miss Jackson · Panic! At The Disco No lo vas a admitir, pero te gusta mi música y lo sabes. Anytime que dudas, sólo es cuestión de ponerte esta.

The Man · The Killers Nada como nuestros buenos trips manejando de noche.

Fernando

The Bad Touch · Bloodhound Gang You and me, baby, we ain’t nothing but mammals...

EugeRiq

This Life · Vampire Weekend Siempre que la oigo pienso en ti.

I Wear Glasses · Mating Ritual Me la recomendaste en alguna de mis countless Close Friends stories.

Jose

I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles) · The Proclaimers Picture it: a gaggle of eight or so kids marching around Cumbres de Santa Fe loudly screaming this in a terrible Scottish accent after watching a horror movie.

Somebody Else · Clones of Clones A bop!

Ocean Man · Ween I will only say four words: Lord of the Flies.

Lauro

Desencuentro · Residente ft. Soko Clases de Domínguez contigo were always lovely. Plus, who could forget the iconic “NO HAY SEÑAL”?

I Don’t Know How to Love · The Drums Otra de cuando we were still developing our own music tastes.

Luz

Papaoutai · Stromae De cuando estábamos haciendo Haiti research and really wanted to get into the francophone mindset.

Moonlight Sonata · Ludwig Van Beethoven Those Knowledge Bowl kids never saw it coming.

Beware of the Boys (Mundian To Bach Ke) · Panjabi MC Memoria tangible de Vancouver: cuando pusiste esta en el restaurante indio al que fuimos.

Madison

I Know Things Now · Stephen Sondheim No sé cuántas veces me ayudaste a ensayar esta canción. Me ayudaste muchísimo todo Into the Woods, y desde ahí en 6º sé que te tengo como amiga.

Mare

Rumour Has It · Adele ¿Te acuerdas del proyecto que hicimos de Mr. Kamm en 7º estilo “fleas on rats”? Literal después de que usamos esta canción ya no puedo cantar las lyrics de la original.

Mariana

Bitter Sweet Symphony · The Verve La oíamos dizque “para concentrarnos” en el salón de Austin.

Pas de Quatre from Swan Lake · Piotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky De cuando te fui a ver bailar ballet con Fran. :)

Tú y Yo Somos Uno Mismo · Timbiriche EL SOL

Manu

Fly Away · Laid Back The moment you played this at Montero’s party you literally made everyone be vibing. It’s like the Fairy Godmother of Chill. That was also the day you stopped being “Manu from TEDx” and were just “Manu” there on. Probably ‘cause you appreciated my ability to drive a stick. :`)

MDRH

Choke · I Don’t Know How But They Found Me I wouldn’t like this Dallon spinoff as much as I do without you. It’s like emo, but evolved, mature— like you. In a good, compliment-y way.

Oceans · Frank Iero Remember when we were gonna see him in concert? :( Thanks for being the only person with whom I can enjoy weird throaty emo screamy shit. At least the guitar is good.

House of Wolves · My Chemical Romance Something about the aggressive guitar and fast pace of this song has always reminded me of you.

Mich

Tear in my Heart · Twenty One Pilots Your Koreaboo initiation before you even knew it.

The Kids Aren’t Alright · Fall Out Boy Remember the lyrics from this I wrote as a dedication in your eighth grade yearbook? I meant them. 

I Write Sins Not Tragedies · Panic! At The Disco I CHIME IN—

She’s My Winona · Fall Out Boy Something about Folie à Deux, and especially about this song, always carries a you vibe.

Perfect · Simple Plan From when you got angsty and Montes called you out on it. Then it became a bit of a joke.

One of THOSE Nights · The Cab Back in seventh grade, this was the most ambitious crossover ever attempted. 

Montse

I Want To Hold Your Hand · The Beatles De cuando saturamos la rockola del Johnny Rocket’s con 15 canciones y pensaron que no servía. But we knew. Plus, a really fun Snapchat video de nosotras bajando las escaleras a tambos y aplausos con esta canción.

Something · The Beatles Too bad Eric Clapton stole George Harrison’s wife.

I Am the Walrus · The Beatles Want to feel what it’s like to do acid without actually doing it? Play this song on Rock Band!

Don’t You (Forget About Me) · Simple Minds De la única pijamada que me han dejado hacer, donde vimos tu película favorita. An unforgettable night with an unforgettable person.

Pato

Hit the Back · King Princess The best experience of my life was one I’m glad I shared with you. Still want to murder those Rock Lobster loiterers though— blocked us from KP. >:(

Just the Same · Bruno Major I had never heard of him, but to be next to you enjoying him, with our KP t-shirts in my bag and just-refilled water bottles, was one of the highlights of my night.

The Louvre · Lorde Remember when we played Melodrama in your bedroom? This is the song that I feel best captivates that: shoes on the floor, laying softly on the bed, sunlight streaming in through the window, the vinyl spinning, and a general feeling of levity.

No You Girls · Franz Ferdinand Friendly reminder of literally the worst physical experience of our lives. :))))

The Other Side of Paradise · Glass Animals The first GA song I ever showed you, which is a nice chain thing because it’s the first GA song I ever listened to that Jordan showed me. And a birthday vinyl we played in your room.

Romina

The Only Thing · Sufjan Stevens This entire album is your personality. Sorry, I don’t make the rules.

Futile Devices · Sufjan Stevens Same as above. It’s not your fault you’re a Sufjan Suf-stan. But every time I listen to Sufjan I remember you playing him at the Open Mic. That’s a very nice feeling.

Mama · My Chemical Romance Indisputably goes HARD and hey what are mommy issues without a little angst/general gender confusion?

Sam

Goodie Bag · Still Woozy El día del college fair que estuvimos juntas al principio y conocimos a la USC rep que nos cagó traías tu camisa de Still Woozy. Since then, el grupo me recuerda a ti.

Vale

Heart of Glass · Miley Cyrus Tú viviste esta out-of-body transcendental experience al mismo tiempo que yo, el día de mi cena. 

Don’t Stop · Fleetwood Mac Espero que ya te guste Rumours completo. :)

Yuhis

Chiquitita · ABBA I didn’t know you could sing. After listening to you sing this one (and almost crying), I wondered why you didn’t do it more often.

Beauty School Dropout · Frankie Avalon I am sorry pero literal I can only think of this song in your voice. Iconic!

Gracias por todo. Los quiero. Los voy a extrañar.

[vexedtonightmares]

last dance (elu ballet au) chapter seize

Lucas is in his final year at the Paris Opera Ballet School and he’ll be damned if he lets his former friend-turned-rival Eliott steal the lead role in their production of Swan Lake.

aka- lucas and eliott are rivals who are forced to room together for their final year of ballet school before they try to enter the company. we can all see where this is going.  

i. ii. iii. iv. v. vi. vii. viii. ix. x. xi. xii. xiii. xiv. xv. xvi.

ao3

**tw: mentions of eating disorder and bipolar disorder**

Dimanche 12:44

They were a week out from the show, which meant everyone was in a frenzy. The studios had been booked all day and people came and went as they pleased to practice, everyone a little bit more sluggish than usual on account of the late night they’d all ended up having. 

After Eliott and Lucas’ show, their whole year stayed in the auditorium all night under the guise of cleaning it up, but they were really just enjoying one another’s company. There weren’t going to be many more nights like this, so they had to take advantage while they still could. The silly string actually smelled quite bad, but Lucas didn’t think any of them had cared much about it, too lost in the moment and each other to think about anything other than their happiness. It was so beautiful to experience, being in a group like this one. Sure, some of them were better friends with each other than others were, but that night they’d all been one unit built through sweat, strength, blood, broken nails, and more than a few tears.  

Lucas was still finding silly string buried in his hair when he ran his hands through it as he practiced, and even though it was kind of gross, he couldn’t help but smile. 

He and Eliott were switching off rehearsing with Manon and Imane, both of whom chided them multiple times for not paying enough attention to their partners and too much attention to each other. Thankfully, Lucas had already gotten a fair amount of practice with Manon, so they looked to be in good shape for the weekend. Imane and Eliott hadn’t had as much time to work through the choreography together, but it didn’t seem likely that the two of them would have to perform together on stage, so they weren’t worried.

They had yet to run through the entire ballet in full costume onstage, and Lucas couldn’t have been more excited to start dress rehearsals. They wouldn’t start until the next morning since the show was beginning on Friday, and Lucas hoped that nothing would go wrong, but he didn’t want to jinx it. There was still a lot to be done, and so much that could go wrong, but they were so close.  

It was quite surreal that it was finally happening. It seemed like just yesterday he’d come back to school with Manon, marvelling at the year ahead. At the same time, it seemed stupid that at that point he’d been so overcome with blind hatred he’d thought he wouldn’t survive the year sharing a room with Eliott. Now he couldn’t imagine surviving without him. 

Eliott flashed him a smile just meant for the two of them, like a secret they shared, and Lucas dropped his head to hide his own grin. One of the best things about falling in love was the secret language that came with it, the one neither person had to learn but already knew by heart. It was a good thing he would never have to live without Eliott.

“I love you,” he mouthed across the room, because he was sappy and he could. If Eliott was the sun, then he was Icarus, flying, falling, but ever in love with its golden rays and the warmth it brought into his life. 

Imane snapped in front of his face and he realized he’d probably been staring too long with a dopey expression on his face. The blush that always adorned his cheeks around Eliott deepened, even as Eliott mouthed the words back to him behind Imane. 

“I swear, if I’d known you were going to be this insufferable in love, I never would have wished for it for my birthday,” Manon teased, ruffling his hair.

“Shut up,” he groaned, leaning out of her reach, then paused. “Wait… you’re joking, right?”

She raised one eyebrow, turning back to face the mirror with a smirk on her face. She was such a shit, but he supposed he couldn’t complain because the two of them were cut from the same cloth. He pretended not to notice Imane rolling her eyes at all three of them. He knew it was in jest anyways, he knew that Imane liked him a whole lot more than she pretended to. 

And, thinking of her, he had to get all the information out of her about her and Sofiane. They could pretend nothing was going on all they wanted, but literally everyone knew it was a lie. He was happy for her, whatever the case, because he could tell she and Sofiane cared about each other deeply and had for practically their whole lives.

Caring was something he’d grown up without, never really considering the impact it might have when he found it. He liked to be cared for, he’d come to realize. Being cared for wasn’t being pitied or belittled, it was a show of pure affection from someone who loved you through thick and thin. Sure, it would still take him some getting used to, but Manon, Imane, and Eliott were just the people to help him with that. He liked to be the one giving care as well, it came more naturally, probably because he’d done it unknowingly with his mother when he was young. There was nothing quite like showing someone how much they meant to you. 

The rehearsals continued, going by more smoothly than initially anticipated, mostly due to the fact that the four of them were pretty professional when they wanted to be. It was strange for the show to be looming so close, it really was. Even stranger still was the fact that Lucas would dance the role of his dreams with one of his best friends opposite him in front of an audience that was sure to be more overwhelming than any he’d ever experienced prior. 

Thinking about it led to wild daydreams of performing on the same stage as the principal dancer in the Paris Opera Ballet Company. If he even wanted to stay there, that was. It seemed blasphemous to even think of leaving, but he wasn’t assured a place in the company and he didn’t know if this environment was the one he was destined to belong in. He and Eliott hadn’t talked much about what they were going to do after this year, and Lucas had been avoiding thinking about it too much. Not so long ago he’d feared there would be no future for him. He’d wait until after the show, he decided, then he would figure out what the hell he was going to do with his life and his career, if his brain could hold out that long. 

Career was a weird word for him to use, even in the confines of his own mind. It meant that his dreams were in reach should he decide to reach out and grab them. Hopefully they wouldn’t slip through his fingers. 

Eliott snaked a hand around his shoulders, knocking their heads together. “Break time?” he asked, probably noticing how Lucas had zoned out over the last few minutes. Lucas nodded sinking into Eliott’s embrace. 

“Perfect,” Manon said, patting her forehead for sweat that wasn’t there. It boggled his mind, honestly, how she simply didn’t sweat, like she’d just decided not to or something. “I have to meet Daphné,” she continued, light flush coating her cheeks. 

“Why haven’t I been giving you a hard time about that?” Lucas wondered aloud, considering all the jokes he could have made about the two of them. Manon surely hadn’t held back on his behalf. 

“Because you love us both too much,” Manon suggested with a wink, and Lucas rolled his eyes at her. 

He raised one eyebrow, gathering his things from the front of the room. “I take offense on behalf of me and Eliott,” he said, nudging Eliott, who nodded even though he’d been talking to Imane.

Manon pouted at him, patting his cheek maternally. “Please, as if you don’t already know how much I love you.”

“That’s so sweet, Manon, but I’m gay,” he lamented.

“Me too,” she mocked, in the same tone of voice, “For the most part at least.”

She kissed him on both cheeks, waving to Eliott and Imane before leaving, eyes glued to whatever Daphné had probably just sent her on her phone. Eliott re attached himself to Lucas immediately after her absence, bodies melding into place, such a comfort in existing side by side. 

Imane left as well, reminding them to meet back there in an hour or so to continue rehearsing, and Eliott and Lucas trailed a bit behind, too lost in their own world to see her meet up with Sofiane and walk off in the opposite direction. 

Eliott covered Lucas’ eyes as they walked back to their room, both of them giggling like giddy schoolchildren, and he uncovered Lucas’ eyes with a flourish after struggling to open the door without his hands. 

“Ta da!” he exclaimed proudly, gesturing to their room.

Lucas looked around for what the surprise was supposed to be. “Ah, Eliott? What am I supposed to be looking at?”

Eliott’s face fell and turned bright red as he bolted behind the kitchen counter, cursing. He rematerialized a moment later, holding a tray of muffins. Despite himself, Lucas softened. 

“My famous blueberry-bacon muffins,” Eliott said proudly, and Lucas tried not to visibly show any disgust. 

“When did you make them?” he asked instead, and Eliott blushed again. 

“Ok, technically I didn’t make these ones specifically, Idriss did, but that’s only because we’ve been rehearsing all day and I still wanted to do something special for you,” Eliott continued with a timid smile. Every time Lucas thought Eliott couldn’t be more endearning, he had to go and do something like make Lucas want to eat blueberry-bacon muffins, didn’t he?

Lucas took the tray from his hands and set it on the counter before wrapping his arms around Eliott’s neck. “I’m sure I’ll love them,” he lied, then pressed their foreheads together, “But not half as much as I love you.”

“I’d give you the world if I could,” Eliott said sincerely, and Lucas believed him. He had no reason not to. “No,” he amended, “The universe. Every single one of them.”

Lucas leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. “You already have.”

Eliott shut his eyes, rubbing their noses together and wrapping his arms around Lucas’ waist. Neither one of them moved an inch, sinking into the moment, and Lucas was struck by the peace he felt. It was a silent dance, the two of them swaying there in their kitchen slash living room combo area. It was easy to picture living in their own little apartment, spending most of their nights like this. If that was what their future held, no matter how far ahead, Lucas couldn’t wait. 

Lundi 13:07

Eliott’s blueberry-bacon muffins had been awful, so Lucas declined the offer to go home and cook with Eliott during their dress rehearsal lunch break, instead agreeing to join Yann and Arthur in meeting up with Basile. They hadn’t seen him in a while, and Lucas had to admit he missed him and the illusion of normalcy he brought to their lives. He didn’t know how fucked up they’d all been recently, at least in Lucas and Arthur’s case, so there was a lot of catching up to do.

His friends had made him pick the restaurant, probably to assure that he would actually eat, but his knowledge of restaurants was pretty limited due to a combination of his eating problems and lack of free time outside of school, so they ended up at one of the same places they always went to but no one seemed to mind. Lucas ordered himself a sandwich and a salad, ignoring the looks that Yann and Arthur shared over his head. 

Basile joined them, bringing the energy of a thousand suns with him. After exchanging pleasantries, he barrelled into talking about some drama he’d found himself in when Alexia had convinced him to help her throw a clandestine party in their school, but then the night guard turned up and almost caught them, and Lucas realized that if his life was crazy, normal was a whole other level of crazy.

“But, uh, what’s been up with you all?” Basile asked, noting all of their wide eyed gazes. He hadn’t stopped talking for nearly fifteen minutes, not that any of them minded, but he had been eating the entire time as well, words somewhat garbled for at least half the time he’d been speaking. 

Yann and Lucas exchanged a look, wondering where to even begin. Arthur cut in instead. “You’re coming to the show this weekend, right?”

“Of course! I’ve told everyone at school about it a million times. Alexia too. Not sure how many people you can count on, to be fair, but Alexia, Idriss, and I will for sure be there cheering the loudest. Oh, and Alex,” Basile added, almost as an afterthought. 

“Alex?” Yann inquired.

Basile clarified, “From Alexia’s party earlier this year? He and Emma have been dating since then, I think. And he’s friends with Idriss and Sofiane. Not sure about Eliott— oh, sorry, Lucas.”

Lucas furrowed his brows. “What?”

Basile blinked at him. “You hate Eliott?”

Arthur burst out laughing and Lucas blushed bright red. Surely he’d told Baz about Eliott… but then again he’d only just told everyone at school, and not necessarily because he’d wanted to. He just assumed everyone knew at this point, but that clearly wasn’t the case. 

“Ah, Baz,” Lucas began, unsure of how to say it gently, “I’m, um, Eliott and I, um…” Fuck, he couldn’t do this, he felt so weird. Literally all Baz knew of Eliott was shit he’d heard from Lucas over the years, he didn’t have Arthur’s experience living with him or Yann’s ability to see past Lucas’ blind hatred and respect him as a person even if they hadn’t thought they would ever be friends.

“They’re fucking,” Yann supplied, and Lucas smacked him on the arm. 

Basile’s jaw dropped wide open and his eyes searched Lucas’ face, as if looking for a hint that Yann was lying. It was technically true, but what he and Eliott had was so much more than that. 

“They’re in looooove,” Arthur corrected, and Lucas shifted uncomfortably again, watching as Baz’s jaw dropped so far Lucas was convinced it would end up on the floor. Arthur met Lucas’ eyes across the table reassuring him that there were no hard feelings, which Lucas appreciated, because a small part of him did still wonder if there was a universe where Lucas still hated Eliott, and saw Arthur as something more than a friend.

“I need every detail right this minute,” was all Baz seemed to have the ability to say, still in utter shock. Lucas kind of wanted to circle back to Alex dating Emma, and Yann looked like he wanted to as well, but he supposed he didn’t mind talking about Eliott too much. 

The look on his face must have gotten too soft too fast, because Basile nearly yelled in surprise, squinting at him. “Is this what a Lucas in love looks like? It’s terrifying,” he said to Arthur and Yann, and Lucas glared at him. 

“Do you want me to tell you, or not?” he asked, crossing his arms, and Basile finally gestured for him to continue. He hadn’t told Yann or Arthur anything about how it had all gone down really. He launched into how he and Eliott had sort of become friends by accident, various small instances coming to a climax of pushing and pulling each other into a fountain and realizing that their hate was more or less a facade to cover up other feelings, at least in Lucas’ case. 

He snuck in details about his eating disorder, wondering if he’d have to say it or if Basile would be able to infer from context clues. He hoped for the latter but was prepared for the former. Yann and Arthur seemed a little shocked at how many subtle hints they’d missed, but for the most part Lucas and Eliott had been good at keeping their romantic lives separate from the studio and vice versa. He didn’t tell them about Polaris, because he wanted Eliott to be able to tell people about it, but he did talk about the countless nights they’d spent together in the studio and how they’d accidentally been in the room when Manon and Daphné confessed their feelings to each other.

“Wait a minute,” Basile cut him off, holding his hands up. “Daphné… blonde Daphné? Gorgeous Daphné? Love of my life Daphné?”

Lucas shrugged. “Uh, yeah, I guess? What about her?”

Basile dropped his head into his hands dramatically on the table. “No! Do you think they’re going to break up any time soon? I swear, I’ve only met her a few times, but it was love at first sight. And second, and so on.”

“I wouldn’t hold your breath,” Arthur chimed in, patting Basile on the back. “Daphné is a lesbian.”

“She could be bi,” Basile pouted, lifting his head. 

“Ah, but she’s not,” Arthur said apologetically, sharing a look with Lucas. Basile’s antics, while exasperating in large doses, had been sorely missed by Lucas. 

“So what’s going on with Emma and Alex, then?” Yann asked casually, finding his opportunity. 

Lucas narrowed his eyes, speaking in a low, warning, voice, “Yann…”

Yann ignored him, and Basile looked a little disgruntled by the subject change. “I don’t know much, Alex finds me annoying, I think, but him and Emma are annoyingly cute every time I’ve seen them together.”

“Oh, cool,” Yann said nonchalantly, and Lucas shot him another warning glare. Now was not the time for Yann to rediscover his feelings for Emma or get jealous over Emma’s new relationship. 

“What about you, Tuturo?” Basile asked, moving on to eat a bit of Yann’s lunch. “How’s life been treating you?”

Arthur zoned out for a minute, and Lucas completely understood where his head was at. How was he supposed to succinctly wrap up a lifetime of struggle into one neat story to share with a friend? “Fine,” Arthur decided finally, “Better recently than it has been.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Basile sighed. “I must admit, you guys are a lot more boring than I’d hoped.”

Lucas laughed, taking a small bite of his salad. “I just told you all about my secret relationship with my roommate who I previously hated.”

“Yeah, but now you’re all happy and in love,” Basile said ruefully.

“He almost got kicked out of school a week ago, and now he’s playing the lead on alternating shows,” Arthur supplied, pointing his fork at Lucas. 

Basile slammed his hands on the table. “Now this is what I’m talking about! Spill the tea, Lallemant, spill it now.”

Lucas took time to flip Arthur off before considering where to start. He was sure his final year of ballet school would be a story he’d tell for a long, long time, so it didn’t hurt to start then. He wondered how Eliott would tell it, or how Eliott would tell their story. Lucas’ version was tinged with regret and a bit of his chaotic energy, but wrapped in care. Where he might include stories of them doing stupid things and singing stupid songs in the middle of the night, he suspected Eliott would include the soft moments shared in the hazy morning light. Eyes meeting across the kitchen counter and hands gently tangled together as they talked, the only distance between them created by a current of words and thoughts to intimate to share aloud. 

Was Eliott sitting in the kitchen with Sofiane and Idriss at that moment, each of them trying not to cringe over blueberry-bacon muffins as Eliott’s face lit up in wonder talking about their relationship? Was his version yearning and heartache warmed around the edges with the light of the sun that filled Eliott’s heart so full of love?

It was interesting to think about, that was for sure, the fact that there existed parallel universes even inside their own minds. Of course everyone saw and experience life differently, but Lucas had never really thought about it in terms of how two different people might recount the same series of events. It made him consider how he’d been the subject of so many misunderstandings in his life, and how much of that was probably due to his own perspective varying from the perspectives of others. Hadn’t his hatred of Eliott for years proved that? He was quite the unreliable narrator, especially inside his own mind, but wasn’t everyone? Was there even a person in the world who trusted themselves with unflinching clarity? If so, Lucas didn’t envy them. The questioning and mistakes were what made him human, and what made the epiphanies and happy moments much more worthwhile. 

He’d been talking on autopilot while these thoughts ran through his mind, not really even paying attention to Basile’s reactions to the dramatic series of events that he simply called ‘life’. Basile cracked a few jokes when he was done, and Lucas melted into a laugh, shaking his head. A week ago he’d never thought any of this would be worthy or capable of being laughed at, but there they were. 

Healing often took him by surprise, but it showed itself in subtle ways. This laugh, for example, or the fact that he’d eaten his whole meal without overthinking it. It said more about the safe space his friends had provided for him than anything else, but he was glad for it all regardless. He’d only had Eliott for a little while, he’d had these friends much longer, and he would never let himself forget that no matter how much he loved Eliott. Both loves were different, but that didn’t diminish either one of them, both just as important and essential to his healing and growth and livelihood. 

They not only made him better, mentally, and physically, but they also made him want to be a better person so he could return the favor to them. Arthur was his first target, and he didn’t really know how well he was doing, but he was trying, and that would have to count for something. 

Life was just a series of trying and trying and trying again, wasn’t it? Lucas had come close to not trying as of late, but he was glad he hadn’t stopped completely, because the payoff was so worth it. 

Mardi 18:12

It was Lucas’ first therapy session beyond his diagnosis session, and to say he was nervous was a bit of an understatement. He didn’t know his therapist, she was different from the woman who’d assessed him previously, but she had a kind smile and pulled her hair back in a way that reminded him of his mom. He didn’t know if that made him sad or hopeful. Well, he supposed she was supposed to be the one to help him figure that out, wasn’t she?

She shook his hand as he walked into her office, sitting down on the couch across from her. He fidgeted a bit, not knowing how to sit. Was this formal, or casual? Was he supposed to lay on the couch like they always did in the movies? 

“I’m Dr. Rowe, but you may call me Angelique, if that makes you more comfortable. In my experience, most of the people I treat prefer us to address one another on a first name basis, but I’ll do whatever suits you,” she said, voice kind. She looked younger than he’d expected her to be, but looks could be deceiving and he wasn’t stupid enough to ask. 

“Um, first names are fine, yeah,” he agreed. Dr. Rowe seemed to formal for what they were going to be doing, even if it was his first instinct to refuse the familiarity. “I’m Lucas,” he supplied, even though she probably already knew that. She probably already knew more about him than he did. 

“Lucas,” she confirmed anyways, giving him another warm smile. He couldn’t tell if that was her natural reaction or if she was just trying to be extra welcoming. Whatever the case, he didn’t mind it, and he could already feel himself becoming a bit more at ease.

She shuffled the few papers she was holding, turning more professional. “I have your diagnosis reports with me here, but that’s not what I want to talk with you about today, ok?”

“Ok?” Lucas put his hands under his legs, definitely not to keep them from shaking. 

“Just… tell me about you. I don’t want to know you through what various files and diagnoses tell me, that’s not going to help either of us. I want to know you. Who is Lucas, really?” she prompted.

That was the question of a lifetime, wasn’t it? “Well,” he began, “I’m… struggling. I have been for so long I forgot what it’s like to not live every day in some sort of pain. It’s not that I didn’t want to get better, it’s more that I didn’t think there was any way of getting better. I didn’t know that was an option.”

“But you do now?” she asked.

He smiled involuntarily. “Yeah. I do. Someone in my life recently has helped me realize I’m worth more than I ever thought. I’m not really sure if I believe him all the time, but I think the same of him, so I get where he’s coming from and I try to listen.”

“What is your relationship to this person?” she continued, listening intently as ever. He already liked this session better than the one he’d had previously.

“He’s my boyfriend,” Lucas said, ducking his head. He knew for a fact he had when Yann had dubbed his ‘sappy Eliott face’ on right now and he didn’t want to be too much of a lovesick disaster right off the bat. “Eliott.”

“How did you two meet?”

He almost snorted aloud. She definitely wasn’t going to have been expecting what he was about to tell her. “We were best friends growing up,” he began, because it was as good a place as any to start. “We both go to school at the Paris Opera Ballet School, which you obviously know, at least on my behalf, but yeah. We kind of, um, grew apart for a few years, but we became friends again this year, and then something more.”

Angelique considered this, and she looked like she wanted to ask more about it. He figured she would. There was too much to cover in a single session, though, and the last thing he wanted was for her to come to come sort of conclusion that he and Eliott weren’t good together. Because if anything was true, it was that they truly did belong together. 

“He’s helped me a lot, he’s the only one who really saw what was going on and wouldn’t let me talk my way out of it,” he said.

“Do you do that a lot?” she asked, “Talk your way out of things?”

He nodded. “Well, yes and no. Most times I just don’t talk about it at all, or get super defensive.”

She looked at him curiously. “You seem rather open with me?”

Yeah, he was kind of confused by it too. He shrugged. “I guess so many people know about the deepest darkest parts of me now that I don’t see the point in hiding it.”

She laughed. “That’s a start.”

“I guess,” he agreed, smiling minutely. “Is there, um, anything I should be talking about in particular?”

Angelique shook her head. “These sessions are more or less dictated by you. I’ll give my input, and I’ll lead you in discussions, but I don’t ever want to monopolize the conversation. This is about you and your growth most of all, and we’ll get there however you’re most comfortable.”

“And if I don’t know?” he asked.

She smiled, but it wasn’t a smile borne from joy, nor from sadness. It was a smile of understanding. “That’s ok too.”

He appreciated her flexibility, it did in fact make him feel better about being there, but he also wanted some sort of structure. Should he jump in with the capital T trauma right away, or was that something to be saved for later on when they knew each other a little better? Then again, she already knew quite a bit about him didn’t she? Even the things unwritten in his diagnoses were written in the way he sat or his vocal inflections. She could see the bags under his eyes or the light inside them, and she could see that he wrung his hands together when he didn’t know what to say or that those very same hands were made to hold the hands of another. Someone she could probably see was always on his mind, even in the quietest moments. 

“I have a show starting this weekend,” he said instead, the only thing he could think to say. 

“In the ballet?” she clarified, and he grinned, finding his footing. He could talk about ballet for hours and never tire of it. 

“Yeah, it’s my final year of school, and every group of terminale students puts on a ballet production in the winter for the holidays, so this year we’re doing Swan Lake,” he explained.

She nodded along like she understood so far, which was promising. “And Swan Lake, is that one you’ve heard of? I apologize, I don’t know much about ballet.”

Lucas laughed, mostly to himself. It was crazy how those two words could mean so little to someone who was completely outside of the ballet world. “It’s been my favorite show since I was a kid. Prince Siegfried, the lead male role, has always been my dream role.”

“Is that who you’ll be playing, then?” she asked. 

“That’s kind of a long story,” he admitted, “But yes, in a way. I’ll be alternating the role with Eliott. The show runs for two weekends, so he gets the Saturday matinee and the Sunday matinee, I get Friday evening and Saturday evening, and then next weekend we switch. Otherwise I’m just in the corps, which is sort of like the ensemble.”

She nodded. “And Eliott… is this the same Eliott…?”

She didn’t finish the thought fully, but he understood well enough. Who was Eliott? The man of his dreams, and so much more. “Yeah, this Eliott is my boyfriend.”

She blinked, sitting up a bit straighter. “I see.”

“When I said it was a long story, I really meant it,” he laughed nervously.

“Do you want to talk about it all now?” she asked, giving him the option to take things slowly, and he decided that was what he needed at the moment, especially with the show so close. He could go deep into his psyche once the show was over. 

“Actually can I just talk a bit about ballet, for now?” he asked. 

Angelique nodded graciously. “Of course. We’ll move at whatever pace you’re comfortable with.”

“Ok,” he agreed readily, deciding what he wanted to do with the remaining time of their session. To his surprise, it was almost halfway through already. He was certain that not every session would fly by as quickly, but it was nice that this first one hadn’t been excruciating and uncomfortable.

“So,” he began again, and shared his passion for dance with Angelique, sparing no details of how he felt and what ballet did for him and his emotions. Being a dancer was where all the troubles and pain came about, but the act of dancing itself was ethereal. Nothing else mattered when he was dancing. Sure he might mess up some steps here and there or get tired after a while, but those things never bothered him in the moment. In the moment it was just Lucas in his purest form, and that was the sort of feeling he wanted to be able to find away from the stage or the studio. 

When he spoke, he was worried Angelique wouldn’t understand, but he could see in her eyes that she did. She may not know anything about the finer details of which he spoke, but the overall feelings were universal, and as long as they both knew that Lucas could see their sessions being really good for him. He hoped they would be, at least. 

It was a big, scary step to take to even go there in the first place, but he was proud of himself for doing so. Lucas from months or even weeks ago probably never would have predicted this. But he was Lucas Lallemant 2.0 now, and he’d found some love for himself that he was determined not to lose again for as long as he could. And if he ever did lose it again, he wanted to know how to find his way back, and being there with Angelique seemed like a great place to start.  

Mercredi 9:39

It was the third day of dress rehearsals and Lucas was finally able to practice in his properly fitted costumes. He’d felt a twinge of guilt on Monday when he’d tried on the costumes made for him and realized they were at least a few sizes too big. He hadn’t really thought that was possible, but the measurements had been taken right after casting, and though no one had said anything about how much weight he’d lost in the meantime, the proof was in the outfitting.

It was a wonder to him how he hadn’t seen it, but then again he really hadn’t wanted to, and his brain liked to trick him into believing or disbelieving things more often than not. His ribs protruded too far and his collarbone was too defined and his jawline wasn’t sharp in the right kind of way, but he promised himself he would get back on track and try to fix the damage he’d wrought on his body for real. Sooner than later.  

Lucas could see in Eliott’s eyes that he knew why Lucas had been quieter than normal while getting dressed, lost in his own head. He didn’t really want to talk about it, partially because he was ashamed and partially because he didn’t even know what he would say. Being thinner had never really been his objective, he’d always been fit from rigorous dance training, but there had always been that voice in the back of his mind telling him what a real ballet dancer looked like and how he needed to do everything in his power to be that person so no one would be able to overlook him ever again.

Yet in doing so he’d somehow allowed himself to waste away to someone small and fragile. He didn’t want to be fragile, he wanted to wear his costumes with pride and show the world that Lucas Lallemant wasn’t broken. The people he loved already knew it, and a part of him did realize that it shouldn’t matter if the whole world knew as long as the people he cared about did, but Lucas had always wanted more, flawed as that logic might have been.

Complicated emotions aside, it did fill Lucas with a bit of pride to be practicing the role of the Prince in full costume. Another thing he could see in Eliott’s eyes was how much he wanted to see Lucas outside of that costume, or maybe even have his way with him in it, and that was not very conducive to the fact that he was wearing tights.

Funny how he’d have to revert to all his old ignoring Eliott tactics for an entirely different reason. Thankfully, he was quite busy, as he was rehearsing for the Prince that day. When he’d been informed that he’d be the Prince in the first show instead of Eliott he’d gone from shock, to panic, to unease, to cautious acceptance. Eliott said he didn’t care, that he was happy to have a chance to dance the role at all, but Lucas knew it made Eliott a little upset that Lucas got to open and close their show in the lead role. He would have felt the same, but probably would have been more vocal about it.

Manon looked beautiful, of course. At the moment she was dressed in her Odile costume, the darkness of the tutu standing out starkly against her pale skin. No one could say she didn’t look striking up there on the stage, even during a simple dress rehearsal. Imane would have looked just as striking, and Lucas made sure to let her know that even if she pretended she didn’t want to hear it. 

Lucas risked a glance at Eliott as Manon practiced her fouettes, mind trailing back to the weekend, knowing before their eyes even met that Eliott was thinking of the same thing. 

You did them better, Eliott mouthed across the room, nodding to Manon.

He most absolutely did not, but he appreciated the sentiment. It must have shown on his face, all sappy and soft, because behind Eliott Yann mimed puking and Lucas had to take a momentary glance away from the man of his dreams to glare at this best friend. Eliott’s brows furrowed, turning and laughing in a small inaudible breath when he realized Yann was beside him. Lucas briefly wondered if he could (or should) start inviting Eliott to hang out with him and Arthur sometimes. He thought he might like that, and he thought Eliott might too. 

“Lallemant, to the stage please,” the director called out, voice reeking of displeasure, but for once Lucas didn’t give a shit. After the show his interactions with the director would likely be kept to a minimum, so long as he didn’t fuck up like he had this term, and then he’d be gone and the director would only be a blip on the tapestry of his life. One that, with effort, could someday be stitched over. 

Nevertheless, he did go to the stage, because no matter how shitty the director was it was like he’d explained to Angelique the day before; ballet meant too much to him to give into all the bad things. Maybe that was an unhealthy way to think too, but he could cross that bridge some other time. The same thoughts that had been plaguing him plagued him once more, his career and what it would end up being flitting in and out of the center of his thoughts.he closed his eyes briefly, brushing it all aside. For now, he was choosing to let himself enjoy this experience as it came and not dwell on the things he might have dwelled on a few weeks prior. 

Lucas took Manon’s hand to practice one of their duets, and the soft smile that graced her face as he did so perfectly encapsulated how he felt under the lights of the stage, dressed in his costume, knowing that Eliott was probably watching him with pride. The last time he’d been on the stage with only one other person he and Eliott had been alone, wondering if their futures were about to slip through their fingers and if this was the last stage they’d ever dance on. 

Manon and Lucas danced together seamlessly, a bond forged in what may as well have been blood, as she was one of the closest things he’d ever had to a sister, shared experiences and emotional support bringing them together in a way that impacted their dancing in the subtlest of ways. It was trust in its purest form, and it worked for the stage and the show in ways neither of them probably would have imagined when they’d been partnered up a year beforehand. Neither Lucas nor Manon had ever really been the trusting sort, but once someone earned that trust they’d go to the ends of the earth for them.

Lucas was still getting used to the idea that someone might actually go to the ends of the earth for him, that many people would if given the chance. The funny thing was, Lucas had never considered whether or not the ends of the earth even existed, he’d simply been certain everything in life had a definitive starting and ending point and that nothing in the middle really mattered much at all. 

But on that stage, taking Manon by the hand, locking eyes with Eliott in the wings, he could see that everything in between mattered most of all. What was a beginning without something to follow, to turn a moment into infinity? And what was an end if not for everything leading up to that point, that one final moment? It was more likely that an end didn’t even exist, that the present was all that really mattered. 

Minute by minute, Lucas and Eliott had promised, and minute by minute it would be until those minutes reached their eternity. 

JEUDI 23:57 

Lucas’ head was on Eliott’s chest but he wasn’t tired. He should have been sleeping, the show was less than twenty four hours away, but he couldn’t bring himself to. At first he dismissed it as nerves, but he truthfully wasn’t that nervous. At least not in a bad way. 

He was thinking, that pesky thing that always seemed to get him into trouble. Not about the show in particular, but a little bit about everything. The same thoughts from earlier in the week had hit him like a ton of bricks earlier that day and now he couldn’t get them out of his mind, no matter how much he tried. It seemed ironic, given how he’d only been thinking about how imperative it was to live in the moment a day ago, that he now was considering the future once more.

The thought that had struck him had come at a brief moment, and surprisingly it hadn’t had anything to do with him at all. Eliott was onstage practicing and the director was looking at him with such distaste that some of his friends had even asked Lucas about it. And yes, Lucas knew that the decision to let them stay had likely not been unanimous, the director leading the opposition, but Eliott had been his star for so long that to see him flip completely only bolstered with the information of Eliott’s mental illness was sickening. It was disheartening and downright cruel to see what a change such a thing could bring, something entirely out of Eliott’s control, simply because the director viewed neurodivergence as lesser than. It wasn’t only him, of course, it would and probably had been already, many people, but it made Lucas think. 

He’d always dreamed of entering the company after completing his training at school, the Paris Opera Ballet was one of, if not the most prestigious ballet in the world, but did he want that if he had a pretty good idea of how he’d be treated? Did he want to put himself into a situation that might derail his healing process? If not, what were his other options? The realization that his future was almost entirely his decision had come without warning and pushed the thoughts into a full on spiral.

“Lu?” Eliott’s sleepy voice interrupted the train of questions pushing their way into his mind. 

Lucas hummed in response, listening to Eliott’s heartbeat. Eliott continued, just as groggily, “I can hear you thinking.”

“Can you?” Lucas teased, half of him willing Eliott to go back to sleep the other half wanting to talk and talk and talk until all the thoughts ran free from his head and he felt like he could breathe peacefully again. 

“Lucas,” Eliott said, sounding more awake now than before, and Lucas sighed. 

“Eliott.”

Eliott shifted so they were lying opposite one another, ignoring Lucas’ small groans at being denied Eliott’s chest as a pillow. “What’s going on?”

Lucas sighed again. “I know we promised minute by minute, and I’m trying, but these thoughts won’t leave my mind and I don’t know what to do about them.”

“What thoughts?” Eliott looked concerned, and Lucas didn’t want him to be.

“I don’t want to be here next year,” he said quietly, realizing how that sounded when Eliott stiffened beside him. He rushed to clarify, “Like, in the Paris Opera Ballet. I don’t want to dance for the Paris Opera Ballet.”

Eliott relaxed slightly, nodding. “Oh. Yeah. Where do you want to be?”

Lucas hadn’t gotten that far yet. “I don’t know. Somewhere I’m not already a pariah.”

“You aren’t a pariah—”

“We both are, Eliott. The director has a say in the company too, and I don’t want to give him the chance to ruin ballet for me more than he’s already tried to,” Lucas pleaded, not really sure why he was pleading. It wasn’t like Eliott wasn’t listening to him, he was. Lucas just felt the need to justify everything to an extreme degree all the time. 

Eliott simply looked at him in one of those ways he always did, one of those ways no one ever had before, and touched his cheek softly. “Hey. Lucas. I understand.”

“Oh.” 

Eliott smiled minutely, thumb brushing Lucas’ cheekbone. “I haven’t really allowed myself to think about it, since my diagnosis, but… I don’t know if I want to be here either.”

“Really?” Lucas blinked in surprise. The way Eliott loved Paris… Lucas had never seen anything like it, so he’d never even considered Eliott might feel the same way he did. 

“It hurts me a bit to even think about,” Eliott admitted, “Because I love Paris more than I can even express, but Paris will always be here.”

“What do you mean?” Lucas asked.

Eliott moved his hand to Lucas’ hair. “I want to experience a bit of the world outside what I’ve always known. I’ll always have Paris, we’ll always have Paris, but it might be fun to see what else the world has in store for us. I’ve always wanted to go to London, or Berlin, or America, I don’t know. I don’t know what I’m saying.”

“Hey,” Lucas said, placing a hand on Eliott’s cheek. “I want that too, I think. I’ve just been scared to admit it to myself. Paris is just a place, when it really comes down to it. I’ve never really had a home until now. My home is with you.”

Eliott blushed, looking a bit flustered even in the dim light and Lucas couldn’t help but smile. “And mine with you,” Eliott said, voice no more than a murmur. 

Lucas turned onto his back and gazed up at the ceiling. Sometimes he forgot whose room they were in at night, but it was usually Eliott’s. Lucas knew that Eliott liked sleeping there better, in the comfort of the drawings and posters he’d hung up on the walls in the bed with the sheets he carefully made every day. Lucas preferred being in there too, it felt warmer than his room, more personal. They were almost through with the term and Lucas had yet to put up any decorations in his own room or make it look like more than a place he slept every once and awhile. Eliott’s hand slipped from his cheek to his waist. 

“What are you thinking about now?” Eliott asked.

“Us, I guess,” Lucas said, gaze still turned upward. 

“What about us? Good things I hope?” Lucas could hear the hint of a smile in Eliott’s voice and he let it wash over him like a warm blanket. 

Lucas folded his hand over the one Eliott circled his waist with. “Of course. I think only the best things of you.”

“You didn’t for quite a while there,” Eliott joked, and Lucas finally turned his head back to look at him.

“No, I didn’t.” He hummed, settling back into Eliott’s side. “Part of me has always been afraid of change, you know? But this year so many things have changed, and I don’t really mind it.”

“No?”

Lucas shook his head. “I mean, for example, I moved out of my dad’s house, which is probably one of the best decisions I’ve ever made, I became closer with Manon than I ever thought I’d be and now I can’t imagine my life without her, I had to face some new realities about myself and my mental and physical health, and I fell in love with you. If you would have told me last year that any of this would be happening, I’m not sure if I would have laughed or fought it with every fiber of my being, but I’m glad I didn’t. I’m glad it all happened.”

“You’re telling me it was never a fantasy of yours to fall in love with your arch nemesis?” Eliott asked, scandalized. 

Lucas laughed louder than he meant to, thinking about Yann talking about enemies to lovers fanfiction and whatnot. “Was it yours?”

“Oh, absolutely,” Eliott agreed right away. “I thrive off of sexual tension concealed by a layer of hate. That’s the only reason I let you hate me, of course, so that one day you could push me into a fountain, I could pull you in after me, and our story would reach its peak.” 

“Psssh, that is so not the peak of our story,” Lucas shot back. 

Eliott raised an eyebrow at him. “No?”

“No! Our peak hasn’t happened yet. If we’re lucky, it never will.” Lucas began to draw a graph with his hands, hoping Eliott was following along. “It’s like one of those graphs for exponential growth, you know? The curve keeps going up with no end.”

“You lost me,” Eliott said apologetically, and Lucas just laughed.

“I forgot math and science aren’t your subjects.”

Eliott scrunched his nose, nudging Lucas a bit. “No need to rub it in smarty pants.”

Lucas nudged him back, taking the time to meet him halfway for a soft, searing kiss. “All I’m saying is that I love you exponentially. My love for you grows each day with no intention of ever stopping, even when we’re old and grey.”

“Bold of you to assume I’ll ever be old and grey.”

Lucas giggled despite himself, despite the fact that he’d been trying to be serious. “What the fuck does that even mean? Are you a vampire or something?”

“They don’t call me Edward Cullen for no reason,” Eliott said with a slight shrug, and Lucas broke down into giggles again.

“Who calls you Edward Cullen?” he asked between bouts of laughter. 

Eliott started to laugh too, trying to hide it. “No one yet. But they will.”

“You’re such an idiot,” Lucas said, adoration coating every layer of his voice. 

“Ah,” Eliott said, pulling him close. He kissed the tip of Lucas’ nose, then his lips. “But I’m your idiot.”

Lucas blushed bright red, kissing Eliott senseless because he could. “That you are,” he agreed. And it was in that dim, love drunk light that Lucas realized no matter what he decided or what he wanted to do with his life and his career, he could do it. Because he had Eliott, and he could do anything with Eliott by his side. With Eliott the dark wasn’t so dark and the light had never been brighter. 

It was crazy to think that he’d never considered the possibility of another person making him feel that way, like his heart was on fire in the best way possible. Daddy issues aside, love was never something he’d taken for granted, and he had never intended on giving his heart away unless he knew the person on the receiving end deserved it. And that Eliott did, he deserved every bit of love Lucas could offer. 

Internal tumult put to the wayside for the time being, Lucas breathed in and out more steadily once more. His eyelids felt heavier than they had a moment earlier and he leaned into the feeling, aiming to be as well rested as possible for one of the biggest days of his life so far. He wondered, at the end of his life, how this day would rank, if it would rank at all. He couldn’t decide if he hoped it did or hoped it didn’t. There were so many good days to come, there had to be.

Lucas was on the precipice of sleep, brain shutting down more and more with each passing second when Eliott decided to speak again. “And by the way?” Eliott whispered, just as Lucas settled back onto his chest, falling closer to sleep with every passing second, “I love you exponentially as well.”

Lucas fell asleep with a smile on his face.

VENDREDI 18:45

Fifteen minutes.

Fifteen minutes until everything Lucas had worked so hard for was realized. Rehearsals had been hell, even though they had really only been finalizing blocking and lighting, not wanting to tire anyone too much before their big night.

Manon looked to be a vision of calm in her white tutu, makeup done to perfection, probably by Daphné, who held her hand loosely. They’d all just vacated the stage and waited in the wings, smiles full of eagerness and anxiety. Imane in particular refused to talk to anyone, tying and retying her pointe shoes. Lucas felt like his whole body was buzzing with nerves, but there was nothing more to be done. This was it. They’d made it, and now it was time to show everyone what they could do.

He didn’t know whether he felt better or worse about the fact that there was no one in the audience there to cheer him on. On the one hand, he could probably dance better for a crowd of strangers than he could for people he knew, but on the other it would have meant everything to him to see his mother’s face out in the crowd, or even just to know that she was proud of him. He hoped that in another universe she was proud, and that she would greet him after the show with a bouquet of flowers and a hug to last a lifetime. 

Minor costume snafus aside, everything backstage was running well and everyone was where they were supposed to be. Eliott looked like a dream, even dressed for the corps. Lucas hadn’t mentioned anything, but he could see the longing in Eliott’s eyes when he looked at him, longing that couldn’t be attributed to the love they felt for one another. Sure, come Saturday Eliott would have his chance to be in Lucas’ position, but this was supposed to be him, and he wasn’t supposed to have to share the spotlight. 

Basile had been blowing up his, Arthur’s, and Yann’s phones before they’d gotten into preparation mode, so he could only assume that he’d find Basile, Alexia, Alex, and Idriss somewhere in the crowd being the kind of idiots ballet tried to avoid. He loved them for it. 

Arthur came to stand beside Lucas, looking down at him. It wasn’t like Lucas had never seen him wear contacts before, but he was still struck with how different Arthur looked without his glasses. He looked less like a boy, more like someone regal, deserving to be sculpted in marble. He looked like the type of person Lucas could only hope to be someday, even if it was all just a facade. 

“How are you feeling?” Arthur asked. 

Lucas looked out to the stage from the wings, wanting to pinch himself to make sure this was all real. “Ask me again after the show?”

The corner of Arthur’s mouth quirked up. “You’re going to do amazing,” Arthur promised, sounding so sure. 

“Thanks,” Lucas said genuinely, instead of deflecting with a snarky comment like he wanted to. “You too.”

“Pssh, please, with Eliott in the corps no one will look at me twice,” Arthur joked.

Lucas could have joked back, or rolled his eyes, but being where they were, he was feeling a bit sentimental. “They’d be stupid not to,” he said, and Arthur looked surprised.

“I mean it,” he continued, looking Arthur in the eye, “You’re a really amazing dancer. I know you’ve been through a lot, and if I were you I probably would have quit a long time ago, but I can see how much you love it when you allow yourself to. So do that, allow yourself to love it, because this world is a horribly fucked up place but if you can find happiness somewhere along the way you should hold onto it and never let it go.”

Arthur was still looking at him intently, unspeaking. “It’s what I do,” Lucas admitted, “And you know me, I’m no optimist, I don’t believe that everything happens for a reason and that everything we do is all in god’s plan, or whatever, but I do think that we can create new memories to try to escape the bad ones, and that when we love something, it should never be a bad thing.”

“You’re wise now, too, who the hell are you?” Arthur said, looking him up and down, which was about as sentimental as he expected from Arthur. But then, he admitted, “I’m trying. To enjoy it. I want to, because all of you here mean more to me than anyone else in my life, and if anyone deserves one hundred percent of me, it’s you all.”

“Me especially?” Lucas asked, nudging Arthur lightly and earning him a glare. 

“Yes, you especially,” Arthur caved, pointing a finger at him as he did so, “But not because I’m in love with you. Or was in love with you. Fuck if I know anymore. Even platonically, you’re one of the most important people to me, I really mean that.”

Lucas smiled, tears pricking the corners of his eyes. He was determined not to let them fall, even if only because Daphné had done his makeup so well. “You are to me too. And I really mean that.”

“Are the gays being all sappy, is that what I’m witnessing?” Another voice entered their conversation, a voice unmistakably belonging to the third in their three musketeers. Yann slung an arm around both of their shoulders, grinning cheesily. “Because if so, why didn’t you invite me?”

Arthur rolled his eyes, expression tinged with fondness. “I’m bi, asshole.”

“A gay is a gay,” Yann said solemnly, and Lucas resisted the urge to strangle him. 

The three of them stood there for a minute in complete silence, even as the world bustled around them, looking out onto the stage. 

“I can’t believe we’re actually here,” Yann said, all traces of humor gone from his voice. Lucas couldn’t do anything but nod, as if in a daze.

“It’s surreal,” Arthur agreed. 

And then the moment ended, Emma shoving past them to get in the proper place, and Lucas realized their fifteen minutes had run out. Eliott was on the other side of the stage, but they’d already said their break a legs and kissed each other senseless for the night. 

Manon’s fingers ghosted across his and he saw every emotion he was feeling reflected in her expression. He clasped her fingers, squeezing them tightly, and the small amount of tension that had been present left her shoulders, leaving her looking every bit the regal prima ballerina she was destined to be.   

“Are you ready?” someone asked. Lucas didn’t even know if they were talking to him, but as the curtains opened and the lights flooded the stage, he smiled. Eliott’s eye caught his from the wings on the opposite side of the stage, filling him to the brim with warmth. There was no jealousy, no longing, just pure love and pride. The music filled the room and Lucas rolled back his shoulders, wasting only a single moment to mouth I love you across the stage to the boy on the other side. He stepped to the edge of the curtain, awaiting his cue.   

“I am.”

***

The curtains closed, but the image of a whole crowd of people standing and cheering as he bowed in front of them didn’t leave Lucas’ mind, and he hoped it never would. He couldn’t feel a thing, adrenaline too high, everyone around him looked like they were moving in slow motion. 

“How are you feeling?” Arthur’s voice invaded his daze, and Lucas blinked, image of the crowd vanishing from his mind. Ask me after the show, he heard himself saying only hours earlier as Arthur had asked the same question. 

He thought about Manon and how they’d danced as one, a bond unbreakable in every sense of the word. Meeting Eliott’s eye backstage and kissing him during intermission, careful not to mess up their makeup. Sofiane pulling off a showstopping performance no one would ever forget. All the girls sharing the stage looking like they’d been born to dance there together. Julian from the year below holding his own on the stage, wholly out of his depth but handling it all better than anyone could have expected. Yann proving that he wasn’t someone to overlook, Arthur letting himself go and dance the way he’d held back from for so many years. The fact that they got to do this all again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again. 

How was he feeling? Alive, happy, lost, tired, whole, every emotion in between a million times over. He thought of every universe he existed in, and how none of them could possibly compared to this one, in this moment.

Eliott swept him up spinning him around with the widest smile Lucas had ever seen. 

How was he feeling?

“Infinite.”

[razorblade180]

Seasons Beatings pt2

[Void, Vytal Ring]

Carmine and Yujin stand on opposite sides of the platform in there fighting gear. The older opponent smiles as she watches her half sister from another world stretch her wrist. Carmine then watches Yujin pull out what looks to be like two golden box cutters that a crease in the middle of each. Yujin slapped one on each wrist. Making them fold around like....well a slap bracelet. ‘Well that’s unique. It reminds me almost like Ember-’ her thought was derailed as Yujin flicked both wrist and the bracelets became gauntlets. ‘Oh. In hindsight I guess I should expect no less.’

Yujin:You ready!?

Carmine:Can I just say it’s really something that you’re fighting in some wripped blue jeans and walks around with a blue trench coat. Are you hunting grimm or devils?

Yujin:First of all, you are wearing a crop top. Second, don’t forget to mention that the inside of the cloak is orange. Very important distinction. If it was leather then it would be trench coat. Third, Tenzen has made me watch a lot of his favorite shows.

Carmine:I’ll be sure to keep that in mind. I’m ready to start when you are.

Yujin nods and gets into her boxing stance while Carmine grabs her sword and bring it navel level in front of her. Their knees bend slightly and breath slows down to a crawl. Metal thumping zones them out of battle ready mode for a moment. Suddenly they aren’t alone anymore. Everyone is in the bleachers watching from above.

Carmine:Looks like we have an audience.

Yujin:Not surprising. I’m only the second to fight you. I’m sure everyone will take every chance they have to analyze your fighting style. I know I would.

Carmine:Why do you think Tenzen showed up then?

Yujin:He’s my entire support group.

Tenzen:Kick her butt Yujin!!!! I know you can do it!

He can see her shift both eyes toward him as she smiles; letting him know she appreciates the cheer before focusing her attention back at the task at hand.

Once again the room goes dead silence. The first moves have already been made. Yujin could tell every single thing about herself was being watched closely. The slight rise of her shoulders when she breathed. The weight of her feet going from the heel to the balls of them. ‘Blade against fists. At least it’s nothing I haven’t done before. If I’m lucky the her Jaune trained her swordplay like me. The night stick is a factor but it’s the scythe I’m worried about.’ They slowly begin to walk in a circle. Keeping an equal distance apart.

‘Yujin looks serious. Better not take her lightly, or let her think too much. If our dad’s are alike then a game plan is the last thing needs to figure out.’ Carmine two steps forward before raising her blade and lunging. The wind was cut through like paper and a loud clang rung in the crowds ears as the blade met the back of the gauntlets. “Nice block” said Carmine with a smirk as she dragged her weapon down to the floor thin twirled. Yujin quickly saw the sword rise to meet her right side and caught it with her left hand. The assault wasn’t over. Carmine pivoted on her right heel and spun to Yujin’s left with her night stick and fired point blank.

The force slid Carmine back and she took a new stance. This time with her left side leading with her nightstick blocking diagonally. Her blade still in Yujin’s hand while the other gripped the round met for the girls ribs. It was surprising to say the least. Yujin’s eyes glowed a majestic lilac and she tossed the sword out of bounds. “My turn....” she said power jumping and slamming her fist down like a sledgehammer. Carmine pivoted once more; leaving the attack to dent the floor. Yujin thought on her feet and rose her right leg to kick the girl behind her. The hit landed right into her stomach before an elbow grazed her face. Not wanting to deal with any of that, Carmine backflipped to the middle of the stage for distance. ‘Her speed isn’t as fast as Tenzen, but that striking power...’ her stomach tensed up in shock. “Definitely a Xiao Long.” The remark made Yujin smile and point straight up into the air. “Was there ever any doubt!?” Yujin front flips into the air then raises her right leg vertically for an axe kick. “You ain’t seen nothing yet!”

Summer:Wow, would hate to be in the ring with her.

Nick:Eh...

Summer:Not impressed?

Nick:Don’t know; haven’t decided yet. Didn’t think I’d see a mixture of Valerie and Veronica.

Summer:Well Yang in any world hits like a truck. Yujin happens to have a dad that was on JN_R.

Valerie:Wouldn’t be surprised if she’s seen a thing or two from my mom.

Everyone watches Carmine backstep away from the blow. Yujin gets up with viscously with a left hook that was promptly caught. “I’m not done yet!” Yujin used her caught hand as support and did an aerial. The first foot passing by Carmine’s nose while the other knocked her clean across the face and to the ground. Yujin pulled the girl back up to her feet the sent her flying back with an elbow to the chest.

Valerie:Or.....my dad taught her something.

It was satisfying knowing she was holding her own but something felt off. Too many hits connected so easily. ‘What’s up with her? It’s like she’s barely moving.’

Yang:Uhhh Carmine? I can’t help but feel like you are actually pulling your punches.

Carmine:No, just sort of in disbelief.

She points to the left and Yujin follows her finger up to the aura board. What she saw could not have been right, yet there it was as clear as day. Yujin’s aura reading sat comfortably at 95% which made sense. Carmine hadn’t landed a clean hit. Just grazes and a bullet impact. Yujin on the other hand had landed good hits that were by no means warning shots. So how is it possible Carmine’s aura was even with hers!?

Yujin:What the!?

Carmine:I knew Arc blood made us sturdy but this sturdy? You used your semblance yet we’re even.

Yujin:You’re surprised about my numbers!!!? Look at yours!

Carmine:What about them? Seems about right to me. I’ve been tensing up every time you landed a blow. Also I’ve been told I’m quite the sturdy little wall.

Tenzen:(I wouldn’t call a six foot battle demon little.)

Sienna:Wait a second. If there aura is this resilient then a knock out would take forever. Yujin’s semblance makes her heavy.

Jael:Throwing her out the ring is no go. The only other way is pinning but how do you pin someone who’s dense? Carmine on the other hand is essentially fighting a weight that knows how to hit back.

Lucas:I guess that means....

Yujin:Gasp! (I have the advantage. She doesn’t know what to do with me!)

Carmine:(Did not expect to literally be punching out of me weight class. I’m fighting handicap no matter how I look at it. Oh well. Easy is boring anyways. Guess I’ll just do what dad does. When in doubt-)

Yujin:(Hit harder!)

Both fighters ran at each other with weapons ready but Carmine was faster. Yujin only heard a gunshot before the night stick came flying across left cheek and then slamming down on her knee. Things were defydifferent from a few moments ago. Carmine seemed to had finally put her game face on. She landed another on the inside Yujin’s arm, then leaped frog over her a swung her weapon like a baseball bat. It connected right against the shoulder blades. Carmine didn’t bother to look at the screen she knew she had a lot a ground to cover and just kept swinging.

The crowd watched Yujin struggle to keep up with the older girls nimble moves. Carmine was like a ballet dancer; her foot work brilliantly gliding across the floor with every sidestep and pivot into an exposed opening of her opponent. The twirls she did added to this as her scarf trailed behind her. Each spin was a way to dodge, prepare a block, or build up momentum for a close quarters strike. One hit would land and she’d immediately spin the opposite direction before coming in contact again. It was a sight to see but also very tiring.

The rapid and powerful attacks took some wind out of her and it didn’t go unnoticed. She swung for Yujin’s jaw but missed because of a well timed duck. Yujin didn’t let this slip up go without consequences and got Carmine’s ribs with a weighted right hook, then sent her elder stumbling back with a headbutt. Lucas and Tenzen winced at the thump it caused. Not even Carmine would go unfazed by such a blow and she didn’t. Her vision cleared just in time to see a flaming left first hit her square in the face and push her back more. Yujin was set on capitalizing this moment.

‘Hit the head and the body will follow. I got this’ her mental plan kept playing on a loop. She kept advancing and lunged left knee first into Carmine’s gut to hunch her over. Yujin gripped both shoulders to put her at arms reach then yanked her forehead into another headbutt. This time an auditable grunt could be heard from Carmine’s mouth. At this rate she might accidentally stumble out the ring with enough blows. Her head was cocked down from the hit but she could still see Yujin’s shadow. A kick was coming her way fast. ‘Guess I have no choice.’ Carmine’s body glew a beautiful red and she quickly slid her right foot to the inside of Yujin’s left one. A shockwave of rose petals blasted outward like an explosion and knocked Yujin off balance before her kick can land. The girl watch Carmine get farther away. The sudden explosion had blown Yujin away and on her back to the edge of th ring. On the other side was Carmine hanging off the edge with one hand before pulling herself back up.

Valerie:Wow! what was that!?

Tenzen:(It’s like just like my match when her sword came flying out of nowhere. What is she doing?) What is that semblance?

Lucas:Don’t know, but I remember a similar thing happening awhile ago when Sienna and I went against her in the strength test. One minute we’re good and the next, boom, petals everywhere.

Yujin:*standing up* Ow....

Carmine:Aren’t you supposed to be numb to pain right now?

Yujin:I can numb pain. Not negate it. Hit me hard enough and I’m going to feel it. I definitely felt that landing. (And most of those hits)

Carmine:Consider it payback.

The contenders look at the screen to see a 75 and 72 on it. Carmine had a slight lead but it hardly mattered. Both of them groaned and look at each other.

Carmine:I’m fine with calling it a draw if you are.

Yujin:No you’re not.

Carmine:I know. I just wanted to see your face. You’re lucky you got my sword out of bounds. I’d be set otherwise.

Yujin:Maybe. It definitely would’ve made this next part more interesting.

She turned her gauntlet last back into bracelets then put her wrist together. The metal bands straightened back out like before and connected together. The far right and left side folded out from there respected crease to form a hilt. The middle shot out a blade that was the length of bastard sword. Yujin smirked and pointed at Carmine as it shined in the light. “Shall we?”

Yujin swung the sword in a wide horizontal swipe as she took a lunge forward. The sound of the metal dancing through the air was met with a dodge rolled towards it. Yujin’s talents were on display as continued to swing Tempered Steel with one hand and with ease. Heat came of the diligently forged weapon and ticked Carmine’s throat. The increase in range wasn’t expected by her and was now back on defense while Yujin rapidly thruststed her sword at blinding speed. “You know you’re only proving my devil hunter comment right!”

“Maybe a little bit.” She performs one final thrusts that slides her passed Carmine. Yujin spins around and leads with cross slash that pushes two waves of flames of it in the form of an X. Carmine’s eyes light up with excitement. “Okay now that’s pretty cool.” She raises both arms to block and a fiery explosion happens on impact. The only things visible is a Yujin sweating from the her ordeal and a plume of smoke. Her nerves start to get the better of her. This fight was fun and light hearted but winning was the goal. It seemed possible or was she falling into a trap?

The top of the smoke parted and Yujin reacted instinct; raising her blade in defense to what was only the night stick. It was a faint. Her eyes widened as she looked back in front of her. The smoke dissipated in another petal burst that knocked her gaurd off. Carmine ran right up on her to return the punch in face she was given way a right jab. Yujin’s eyes turned lilac again but Carmine did not care. She followed through and drove her first into Yujin’s face. Sending her sliding to the edge again. Sharp pain went through her wrist that made Carmine grit her teeth but that wasn’t about to stop her. It was now or never.

Carmine reached into her right pocket and jumped backwards at the same time. “I hope you’re fire proof!” She tossed a red dust crystal right at Yujin’s chest. Her night stick fell into her left hand and she wasted no time firing a round into it that caused a second explosion right on top of Yujin. Her semblance endured the blast but the impact was too great. Yujin could not stop her feet from sliding her out of the ring and falling to the ground below. A heavy thump shook the ground in a matter of seconds as the girl hit the floor with all that extra density. Carmine looked over the edge to see Yujin laying on her back displeased.

Yujin:I fell faster than I could grab the ledge.

Carmine:Yeah, you did.

Yujin:Was that the plan all along?

Carmine:No. I actually thought you’d try reverting back and jumping out the way in the way in time. At that point I would’ve shot you again to hurt you while I used another shot to zoom towards you and throw you out before you tried to weigh yourself down again.

Yujin:.....

Yujin:Can we pretend that’s how I went out?

Carmine:*snickers* Sure thing. If it makes you feel better your aura was at 62 while I had 50. Remind me to never punch you or take a fire slash to the everywhere again?

Yujin:Deal.

Jacquelyn:Hmmmm that’s two down. This girl just keeps getting more interesting.