#like they don’t deserve mike lmao

[messrsbyler]

just saw a tiktok where you have to pick between characters to find your fav and this big tiktoker chose brenner over mike because “mike fell off and i kinda like brenner” i’m- tell me you are GA without telling me you are GA. like okay not everyone understands mike’s character (which is already annoying imo) but even then you’ll choose an abuser over a member of the party? someone who kidnapped, tortured and experimented on little kids? really now? i- 🧍🏻🧍🏻🧍🏻

[mike-haters-dni]

Me when I’m a 13-year-old boy who watched the girl he fell deeply in love with die in front of him and then spent a year calling her everyday desperately trying to summon her back because he couldn’t go on without her when she miraculously shows up alive again and they finally get to be together: I’m sorry girl 😔 I love care for you 😔 but I had these friends first 😔 we can’t leave this get together even though we both want to 😔 I’ve objectively weighed my priorities and my friends have to be a little bit more important to me 😔 even though btw I’ve left you to go hang out with them before 😔 I hope you can understand 😔

Shit this is actually what y’all wanted him to act like isn’t it lmao

[mozzarella-stickz]

more cool girly babysitter reader for you all 🤭

it takes a couple months for mike and you to tell abby you’re dating. she’s not a stupid kid, in fact you think she may be smarter than you and mike, so she’s definitely noticed something between you two. inside, she knew the whole time, and was in fact incredibly joyful when you finally told her. you were SHOCKED when you told her, and she basically was like “yeah, duh.” and went right back to drawing a picture of you three.

after awhile, you move in with mike and abby. abby is ECSTATIC to have you around 24/7 practically (even though you were really there most of the time anyways). she’s never really had a female influence other than max or aunt jane (she knew vanessa for like two days before she went into a coma lmao) and while abby had liked max, there was just something about you.

you and abby often have girls nights when mike is working. you watch a few romcoms (fast forwarding any bad bits of course) and eat candy and paint your nails. one night, mike was home, and abby BEGGED him to let her paint his nails a sparkly hot pink. he gave in after much hesitation, and he rocked it for a while until it finally started to chip off horribly.

you also like to take abby to the mall. i like to imagine you coming from a pretty rich family, meaning you live to spoil her (within reason - you don’t want to embarrass mike). you take her to get her ears pierced when she’s a little older, and even though it causes a little bit of an argument between you and mike, he grows to love them.

overall, mike loves you lots, abby loves you lots, and it’s great because they both deserve it.

(oh, and abby was 100% your flower girl at your wedding.)

[sleepyhutcherson]

Can you do a post about how each character reacts to you getting cussed out by your parents for no reason? Please pookie 🙏🙏

a/n: i made this super quick so im sorry if it’s rough.

mike schmidt would glare at them from across the table. in this scenario, you would be at dinner over at your parents’ place. mid dinner they would find a reason to scold you in a harsh manner, you become tense and embarrassed not even wanting to glance over at mike. he would notice this, he would hate the tone your parents used with you, he would drop his silverware down onto his plate not caring about the annoyingly loud sound that comes from his utensils and the porcelain plate. he wouldn’t say anything to them, he would glare at them, his brows furrowed and his eyes piercing black and then stand up, the chair screeching horribly against the tile. “we’re leaving,” he’d announce, grabbing your hand. he knew you didn’t want to be in the situation, he knew you didn’t deal well with being scolded but especially being insulted by your own parents. he would apologise, telling you how you don’t have to go back there if you don’t want to, how he’ll make sure to take care for you.

derek danforth is usually a dickhead let’s be real. but. the moment he catches your parents telling you off from afar he’s quick to approach you. “what the fuck is going on?” he asks, clearly upset. you look over at derek ready to apologise on behalf of you and your parents, then: “get the fuck out before i fucking call security.” he grabs you, snaking his arm around your waist and pulling you away from the scenery, he could tell how overwhelmed you were by the situation with the mere look on your face. “you alright, sweetheart?”

peeta mellark will hate hearing them tell you off. like mike, he’ll say nothing but definitely excuse the two of you. when your parents call after you, he’ll turn around to them, shielding you with his body, his hand intertwined with yours. “don’t,” he’ll warn, glaring at them. he’ll take you home, he’ll bake you your favourite pastry, and apologise to you. you tell him he has nothing to apologise for, that you’re used to it but he’ll insist it’s not fair you’re so used to being treated like that by them.

josh futterman is definitely surprised. his parents have never told him off once so when he hears the tone your parents use with you…and the words they use…he goes still. his brows furrow, eyes flickering towards you and your parents. “hey, don’t talk to her like that,” he scoffs at them. then he’ll look over at you, eyes going soft for you: “do you wanna go?” he’ll be so gentle with you, he can see how horribly you’re feeling. he’ll make sure to pepper kisses all over your face when your home, reminding you how much he loves you.

billy (burn 2019) will not hesitate to tell your parents off lmao. he has a temper, remember? he doesn’t care about being polite or “modest” anymore, the moment he heard the way they spoke to you all respect he had for your parents is gone. you don’t think you’ve ever seen him so angry. he’ll drag you away from them handling you gently, of course. on the drive back home, he’ll hold your hand, and though his gaze his focused on the road he’ll go off telling you how he can’t believe your parents, how you didn’t deserve to be treated like that, how unfair they were, and so on. he’ll apologise later for losing his temper, kissing you softly.

clapton davis won’t say anything at all. i mean, he can’t really interfere here. but, he’ll try his absolute best to make you feel better. he’ll take you to his place, he assumes you probably want to be away from home, and once you agree he knows he was right. he lays with you in his bed, your head on his chest while he comfortingly pets your head while you tell him about your parents and how awful you feel about their words. he comforts you the entire time, telling you sweet nothings along with making a couple horrible jokes that end up making you laugh.

[moralofallthestories]

CK s6 part1 spoilers‼️

This is going to be mostly my rant on ep5 and some plots from the previous episodes

- My heart BREAKS for Tory, it’s like the writers just decided to add more on top of the misery from her story last season. S5 the girl broke up with someone she loves and cares about for Kreese’s plan, ended up hurting herself badly and had no one by her side the entire season, and now they just decided to kill off her mom just when her life is starting to get better. What did she do to deserve this??

- Look how quickly Daniel and Johnny moved on to Hawk for their selections literally after they all learned about Tory’s mother’s death, like if you both are such good senseis, wouldn’t it be nice to actually give a shit about Tory and her grief?? Instead of making if about yourself, how about we actually go console her and making sure she’s okay or at least be there? Both of them are such bad mentors for the kids, first is how they handled Kenny’s situation after he got humiliated with the accident, Johnny only spoke up when he’s fighting for Devon and Daniel rlly favors his kids than his other students. If any of these two even showed the same attention and support to Kenny and Tory, I’m sure neither of them would actually quit Miyagi-Do so quickly on the spot. Some sensei they really are huh.

- Robby my man, I get that going to the Sekai Taikai is important for you but are you really gonna do nothing after your girlfriend’s meltdown about her mother’s death? At this point this show’s writing is so bad I don’t wanna hear about any “they probably did this off-screen” kinda bullshit no more. I swear if part 2 has any point of showing him standing on the moral high ground accusing Tory of switching sides like what he did to her in s5 imma riot, cancel my Netflix subscription along with my family plan :))

- Based on s5 and what we’ve seen so far, my headcanon for Robby & Tory is that he’s the one that usually texts her first and he texts more but she’s not good with it, she’s not good with expressing her emotions either so sooner or later they’re gonna face this communication problem in the relationship (of which the problem was clearly shown before in s5 when they “broke up”)

- While the privileged kids talking about their top colleges and applications, what Robby and Tory had was the Sekai Taikai - underdogs in the top 4

- Devon, my girl…not a good decision…why you choose to go on that path

- I can never like Anthony he really gets on my nerves

- Bad writing with all those conflicts overall, hated how they handled Kenny’s character especially trying to embarrassing him for the flag fight. I was hoping to see him and his brother in more action but you can never expect too much from Cobra Kai writers I guess

- The baby storyline continues…the most boring and unnecessary storyline that ruins Johnny’s character as a father and a sensei

- CK really has this type of half assed writing throughout all seasons why am I surprised lmao

The good part:

- Sam & Tory’s reconciliation and their apologies to each other, the sleepover pillow fight was so cute and I love seeing both of them are so done with Johnny’s instigating

- Robby and Tory’s promise of standing together

- How Robby found himself & his confidence again after seeing Tory showed up, this is what partners influence each other

- Robby & Tory’s little nod to each other whenever one of them is fighting someone else, no words but it means so much more

- Johnny & Mike’s fight - it has to be purely a fan service kinda fight but I’ll take it

- Hawk & Demitri’s fight, unnecessary but it surely was entertaining

- Kyler’s redemption, I’m actually happy they didn’t give him a glamorous redemption and try to change him completely to let him join Miyagi-Do, it’s nice to see that his frat boy personality is still there

- Kwon’s fighting skills are some real deal

[findafight]

Jonathan’s line about Steve in vol 2 was so…. I don’t know. I mean yeah it straight up confirms that Nancy and Jonathan make fun of Steve behind his back, and like I get that I have never been in Nancy’s situation so obviously it seems more mortifying to me, but I would have felt so guilty in her place. I can’t imagine not shutting Jonathan up if he started shit talking about Steve. Like Steve would have been straight up unmentionable if I was Nancy. Idk.

I get that Duffers don’t treat their characters emotional lives seriously, but like. That’s why Robin being kind to Nancy in s5 despite Nancy’s uh.. well frankly appalling attitude towards Robin, makes zero sense to me. I really wanted Nancy to struggle being in Steve’s group. Not in the “she deserves it bhahaha” way, but like… Steve dumped his friends for her (which was good for him), and her expecting to get the same treatment and meeting Robin instead? Who actively dislikes her and for a good reason? Who is smart and cool and kind? That’s way more interesting than people kissing Nancy’s ass the whole season, while she is actively putting Max’s life in danger. Like, yeah in high school she is the chief editor of the newspaper, and at home she is the eldest sister, and with Jon she makes fun of Steve, and now none of these people are here, but Steve is here and so is his bestie. And Steve is as kind as always, but Robin dislikes her, and it is not just prejudice

Nancy Wheeler you wild girl! She has no guilt lmao She's like yeah steve was dumb and annoying and didn't enable my investigation, and jon goes yep, what an idiot. All while Steve is just like. bumpin around making friends with little nerds haha. Minding his own business blaming himself for the end of their relationship. You're right, it's kinda bonkers because even if we take the stance that Nancy didn't cheat (which I believe she did) like. she still had him as her second choice and as soon as he pushed back a bit and didn't give her the kind of support she wasn't telling him she needed (until talking about exposing the lab in the library where anyone could hear) she jumped ship and ran to Jonathan. Why would she want to talk about Steve? Why wouldn't she want to try to forget he ever existed as anything other than Mike's friend Dustin's older friend? Is that not weird for her?

(i think you might mean s4? but i can work with s5 too haha) It's so much more compelling to me to have Nancy and Robin at odds with each other because Robin is like a little guard chihuahua holding a grudge for Steve. She holds grudges so well let her do it more!! like jesus give him someone in his corner! And also for herself! She got so nervous and tried to explain and defend herself, and Nancy only really started to listen once they got into the hospital. Nancy has a not great plan that puts one of the kids in danger, one of the kids Steve is close to. (Max wrote him a letter!!) I think Robin would really see Steve's people as her people, even if she wasn't personally close to them she'd still feel comfortable around the younger teens because Steve is? Let robin be critical of this plan. Let her call it out or something. Give Nancy someone to push against, it's no fun if there's no resistance! I want Nancy to be the one wanting friendship with Robin, and Robin not being receptive to it. Nancy not having a relationship handed to her would be refreshing and I want to see how she'd try to win Robin's friendship.

Let Robin not want to work with Nancy because she's heard the rumours about how her and Steve ended, even though he only mentioned that he wasn't a good boyfriend ans wasn't what she needed so it didn't work out. Robin saw that one week Steve and Nancy had a fight, and a day later she was ditching with Jonathan? yeah something is fishy there to even the most socially oblivious person. Let Robin know Steve well enough that she knew he at least thought he was telling the truth but that there must have been more. Let Robin decide she was going to do the most cliche best friend thing and not be very nice to the ex that broke her bestie's heart.

ooooh anon what you're saying is so interesting because, yeah. Steve dumped Tommy and Carol for Nancy, and that was good for him, and then Nancy got with Jonathan who doesn't really have any friends in Hawkins. So she's always been her boyfriend's main person of similar age they're close to. But now Steve's got Robin. Who is funny and kind and weird and loyal and smart and sarcastic. Who is obsessed with Steve and who Steve is also obsessed with. And that, from a s5 stancy pov, is so interesting because now Nancy is now competing (in her mind) for her boyfriend/potential bf's attention with his best friend. Like Jonathan was focused on his family, obviously (and this caused strain for them too) but it's not the same socially as a best friend taking priority. Steve would still hold those relationships, because they're good for him and good for the others, and there's zero reason for him to abandon them this time.

I think Nancy would hate it. Like Steve would obviously give her tonnes of attention, but with him having actual close friendships not just with Robin but Dustin and Max (at least) too, she'd still feel like she was bartering for time with him. That is suuuuch a fun potential dynamic between nancy and steve and also nancy and steve's friends.

[halfthebrain]

I don’t get this hate for Mike while he was an investment banker and fighting Harvey lmao. It was frankly really good TV.

TLDR: The stakes were much higher for Mike and he utilised every trick Harvey has taught him. He’s not the only one to blame just because some viewers can’t understand his motives. Harvey knew though and he forgave Mike, took him back, and even regretted fighting Mike in the first place.

First: obviously Mike would be more invested (pun intended) in winning than Harvey is. It was his first big case and his livelihood was on the line. In case anyone forgot, he never went to uni, he doesn’t have any degree. So this was his chance to get out of committing a felony every day. Sure, he still lied to Sidwell about his credentials but that’s still a lesser crime than pretending to be a lawyer. He left so he wouldn’t put the people he loved at risk.

For Harvey it was just another run of the mill client, a spoiled, entitled rich man child. Was there a lot of money on the table? Obviously. But those are the waters he swims in daily. Billion dollar deals as he said himself. Case in point: he also just drops Logan afterwards. Money be damned.

And Harvey knows this himself. He loves winning, yes, but he loves Mike more.

I actually blame Harvey for being a stubborn asshole and not going with Mike’s plan from the get go, not trusting Mike’s idea and plan, even tho he has consistently profited from them. But, again, this is TV drama so obviously they needed a reason to start a fight.

Second: have we not been watching the same show? It has always been personal to Mike. That’s his whole schtick. He cares. About absolutely, probably everything. He cares about why Walter Gillis started the company (because of his son). He cares about keeping that reason alive. He cares about keeping the workers employed. He empathises deeply, he tries to fight for what he thinks is the right thing. Does that make him a stuck up idealist at times? Yes, but that’s unavoidable. It was never just about winning for Mike, for Harvey it was. If you’re going to hate him for that then at least be a hater from the start.

He was still trying to keep Gillis Industries alive even though Harvey has smeared his name (personal attack) and Walter Gillis has shunned him because of that.

Third: it was all “fair game” despite whatever drama Donna procured in her head about the tapes to insert herself in Mike and Harvey’s fight. She can huff anf puff all she wants but the only person who has a reason to be pissed at Mike would be Harvey. And guess what? He forgave Mike anyway because he realises that Mike did a great job going for the jugular just as Harvey has taught him. He even defended Mike in front of Sidwell, asking him to take Mike back. They didn’t even go toe to toe. Harvey was backed by his entire firm (he’s a name partner), he even let Louis help (he fucked it up), Donna as usual, and lastly, Rachel who was “handling” Logan. Meanwhile Mike was fighting alone. Jonathan Sidwell only pressured him to win, Walter Gillis gave up on him and Amy could only help so much.

Just because Mike is on the other side now using the same methods Harvey taught him doesn’t mean that he’s the “bad guy”. Like I have said many times; they’re both the worst and deserve each other.

Bonus: while all of that was going on Rachel also thought it would be a wonderful idea to keep going back to Logan’s place and then to almost fuck him :).

Are you really, honestly hating on Mike right now?

[depressopax]

BrBa/BCS characters on Valentine's day

Fandom - Breaking Bad/Better call Saul

Happy valentine's day to everyone that celebrates! Shout out to my single fellows, same bestie 🫶

Pairing: Mike Ehrmantraut - Nacho - Jimmy - Kim - Jesse - x gender neutral reader Genre: Fluff, headcanons Warning(s): Cheesy af lmao. User is gender neutral (they/them and referred to as partner) Words: 900 Summary: How do the BrBa/BCS characters celebrate valentines together with reader? English is not my main language, if I make any spelling mistakes please let me know so I can improve my writing! <3 AO3 link soon

How do the BrBa/BCS characters celebrate valentines together with reader?

Mike

Mike doesn’t really get the idea of valentine's day, when he can be affectionate any other day.

Probably the one who scoffs at couples that exaggerates valentines day with expensive gifts etc (same Mike, same)

Double standard king, he’d do just that, just to see you all happy when he surprises you

Probably cringes at himself, but your reaction to his affection makes it worth it

If you like celebrating valentines, then so does he.

Mike will take you out to a fancy restaurant and make sure you feel special

Also make sure he has the day free so he can spend it with you.

But this is nothing unique, this man treats every day like a valentine's day and takes all opportunities to spoil you. 

When you give him a gift too, he’s rather surprised.

He’s not used to receiving gifts and having someone spend money on him “You didn’t need to” meanwhile he smiles like an idiot

The day is spent with dinner, cinema or maybe both? 

Of course he has more plans for later, too. 🤭

Nacho

Same with Nacho, he’s not that fond of Valentine's Day, especially all the cheesy annoying couples that make such a big deal out of it.

He thinks it’s ridiculous to only show affection and give gifts to his partner once a year, he does so every opportunity he gets (which is often, homeboy got no limits when it comes to you 💀)

But of course, he will make a big deal out of it when it comes to you.

He buys you roses and some gift but feels really awkward about it

Which quickly changes when he sees your happy reaction. 

When you give him a gift too he probably plays it cool

Meanwhile he melts on the inside. 

He loves you and the thought of you spending money on him makes him flustered “What did I do to deserve them?” He thinks as he looks at you in admiration.

He takes you out for a date and then takes you to his place iykwim ;)

Jimmy

Honestly? He has two moods: 1. Planning valentine’s day weeks ahead 2. Forgetting about it and panicking about it when waking up on february 14. 

He spoils you with gifts and dates any other day, but he still likes celebrating valentine's day with you.

So he feels really bad if he forgets about it, which he did today lmao

He woke up early in the morning, feeling like he had forgotten something.

Homeboy rushed out of bed to get to the store early to buy gifts

He doesn’t give a fuck it all fancy restaurants are fully booked for the night, he wants to take you there and wont give up.

Somehow finds a way to get a seat for the two of you at the restaurant

He picks you up and drives to the restaurant, making sure you have the best day ever. 

But knowing him, you can sense he forgot about what day it was.

You don’t mind, though. 

Of course, you give him a gift too, just to watch him blush when he receives it lmao

After a perfect date, he has plans for when you go back to his/your place. He wants to thank you for the valentines gift, after all. 😼

Kim

Kim loves you more than anything, but her job takes up lot of the time which she wants to spend with you

She doesn’t get the opportunity to take you on spontaneous dates, nor does she like it.

Kim wants to plan the perfect dates when it comes to you

Valentine's day is her way to “make it up” to you by really showing her love and affection to you

She plans it months ahead, with booking a table at a fancy restaurant, buying a thoughtful gift, and making sure she has nothing work-related planned, so she can spend the day with you, and only you. 

She buys some thoughtful gift for you, maybe some jewelry, roses or chocolate etc

She doesn’t expect something back but when you hand a gift to her, she feels so appreciated.

It doesn’t matter if it’s a “bad” gift, she’ll love it either way and keep the gift close to her all the time, knowing it’s from you. 

Kim makes sure you have the best date of your life, doing everything to make you smile and enjoying every second with you. 

The valentines celebration ofc continues at her place ;)

Jesse

Though he would never admit it, Jesse LOVES valentines day.

Whenever he goes into stores with valentines decorations and gifts, he gets the urge to buy something

Spoiler alert: His impulse wins.

On February 14, he probably has at least done 10 impulse purchases to give you

“You got something for me?”“Of course, idiot” He smiles as you give him the gift he didn’t expect (but was hoping for)

Jesse looking at you with so much love in his eyes, grateful to have someone like you.

He takes you for a perfect, cheesy date. 

He doesn’t like awkward dinner dates, so he ends up taking you to an amusement park or takes you for a romantic picnic, preferably when it’s dark outside. 

He def dresses up nicely too, even if you guys end up at some amusement park or a not so fancy pizzeria lmao

When back at his place, he’s prepared with lights shut off, lighted scented candles and romantic music, just like he’s seen in cheesy movies

You can probably guess the rest. 🤭

This was cheesy af loll, but I wanted to post something fun and valentine's day inspired!

[booksandpaperss]

Jealous Will fic potential

per @parkitaco’s post on jealous Will which I have been thinking abt nonstop, Will being jealous over Mike getting a bf would be such a juicy fanfic bc of the different reasons as to why Mike and Will don’t think the other returns their feelings:

Mike is skeptical bc of his own poor self esteem. Despite sometimes having his suspicions, he genuinely doesn’t understand how someone like Will could love him. I don’t think Mike thinks Will is straight, or that it even matters that much to him, bc he thinks love is transactional and that he himself doesn’t have much to offer Will (he’s of course, wrong on both accounts lmao).

Will, on the other hand, is now convinced Mike is straight. He probably used to think Mike could be queer (season 2 and probably pre canon even), but he was “proven” wrong in an extremely painful way (rain fight, season 3 in general, etc) and now despite Mike sometimes showing clear signs that he returns Will’s feelings (bedroom scene) Will simply doesn’t allow himself to hope. Will thinks Mike doesn’t return his feelings because he thinks Mike is straight (it’s also bc he believes that he doesn’t deserve to get what he wants but yk that’s another post, Will is complex guy), I def think he would have more hope if Mike never got a girlfriend and they never had the rain fight and everything building up to it lol.

So just imagine, if it Will finds out that Mike is in fact queer via getting a boyfriend that’s not Will. I don’t think Will would do his whole “I’m just gonna sit back and let Mike be happy, even if it’s not with me” mentality this time. No, Will would be petty. Petty and jealous and if he ever interacted with said bf when Mike wasn’t looking he would use the full scope of his WillByersSassTM, and Even better if this is Will and Mike in college and they’ve rebuilt their friendship so they’re close again, so Mike’s bf gets jealous of the byler friendship and it’s a petty feud between him and Will and Mike is extremely confused, and ofc Mike had sworn up and down to himself that he wasn’t gonna push Will away just bc he was dating someone so he tries his best but he didn’t account for how jealous Will was gonna be and AUGH the drama potential I can see it so clearly—

Parker srsly if you don’t write this I might have to ngl, it’s too good of a premise it needs to come into existance one way or another 👀

[bylrlve]

Very interesting Millie interview just came out - she describes getting into the writing room, and seeing the s5 whiteboard plan - specifically, seeing El’s ending. Millie says that her reaction was to go ooooohhhh and ‘slowly walk away’. Sadly, not one that bodes too well for El’s future, although it’s hard to say. It could simply, be unexpected - say, Mike and El don’t end up together.

Worth noting that in another recent interview (video clip in this @solgmorell post), when asked what songs makes her cry, she answers with ‘when it’s cold, I’d like to die’ by Moby - the song Will is brought back to life to, the song that plays near el disappearing into the UD. She also said this is ‘El’s song’. The duffers have previously said that S5 will have an ending very similar to that of season one… I hope this is all misleading, and that El gets a happy ending, which she deserves so very much. Hopper would be utterly broken if she dies, or disappears, and although I believe Mike’s love is platonic, I also believe it would really, really upset him if she goes, and it would reawaken all the post-s1 survivor’s guilt trauma.

https://x.com/bylersdevoted/status/1764759541273575471?s=46

On a lighter note, here^ is yet another Damsels interview, where the interviewer asks about her favourite media couples and brings up Mileven, and it appears that Millie outright cringes, barely stopping herself from grimacing lmao.

[eddieydewr]

imo it's very ironic that a show made for the marginalised kids and is very anti bullying has so many bullies who are marginalising the exact communities they claim to support.

what are ur thoughts on this?

i agree! people like them only watch the show, and “participate” in the fandom to bully and criticise, is because a lot of the cast are visually appealing. for them, it’s usually millie, finn, sadie, natalia, and joe keery.

their mindset is like this -> mlvn MUST ‘make love’ in s5 bc they need to be able to see fillee ~doing it too for their edits (and more) • they don’t want to see anything between joyce and hop bc they are hags (even though they are attractive people, especially winona) • st@ncy MUST be endgame bc they are pretty people and rich. impoverished jonathan who? • people who ship henderhop are LIARS and only claim to ship them so el doesn’t get in the way of byler (definitely nothing to do with being unable to see dustin/gaten in a relationship due to ableism. duzie don’t count, sorry. they don’t have a physical scene together so they’re easy to ship or disregard lol) • dirty and smelly trailer trash eddie munson is ugly and cringe because their fans are embarrassing the fandom (???) with their devil horns while being fat, ugly, poor, jobless, etc., just like their fav! but they (and non ST viewers) have warmed up to joseph quinn because he’s attractive and is making it in hollywood • and will! just like eddie, he is too obsessed with dnd, is chronically bitchless even though he canonically pulls girls without trying despite the fact he’s into men (and mike). like all the shitty CW shows they watch, will will die a very homophobic death or end up loveless and lonely like a f@g! homophobically. while mike and el get married in the village with the 3 waterfalls and have a son named willy in disgraced memory of some guy they knew once, idk. not to mention he’s portrayed by… drum roll pls… the zionist! gasp. imagine if byler happens and gamze’s precious baby finn has to put his lips on that (insert antisemitic and homophobic slur here) MAN.

it just doesn’t bear thinking about! it’ll be hellfire (heh) if things don’t go their way. they are normal, unlike us!!

conclusion: ST is a mid CW show with pretty actors and they watch it on a surface level to fulfil their flvn desires, with their fingers crossed that ugly will schnapp, wait no, noah byers?? gets pwned BIG TIME! and die horribly. it’s what he deserves for spoiling the El Show; they want to see el do her Scream and Save the Day thing again, while mike is dumbstruck by her powers and thus hero worship, due to his own feelings of inferiority; because of his dwindling mental health and being unable to admit that he feels something for his best friend but is lowkey aware of his attraction to men (eddie) and the fact that he felt like he died too when he saw will’s “body” in the quarry too corny? and steve… ah steve, we like steve! with his bouffant hair, and his outrageous levi’s clad ass. while getting beat half to death as a running gag. someone give him an MRI pls.

ps. it doesn’t matter what we watch the show for, but the people we’re discussing, i feel like they’re not getting it. which is fine ig. but that doesn’t excuse their behaviour in the fandom, they don’t even enjoy fandom and think we’re just delulu, breaking THEIR LAW if we ignore canon, whether it’s actually canon or not, lmao.

[buck-yyyy]

BYLER FIC RECS BAYBEE!!

okay, im gonna do my best to include some that don’t have huge numbers to mix it up and give the authors the attention they deserve, but i only have so much time because i promised myself i would go to sleep at a normal time, so this will have to be brief :(

hey, mike? - 2,324 words, complete

okay, yeah, i had to do some self promotion, and for that i apologize T-T but have will and mike having a conversation on top of a rock in the middle of nowhere nevada mid volume one- also, this was not only originally written before V2, it’s also the thing that got me into writing. so. anyways self promo over into the other stuff now

like you already know (that you’re the love of my life) - 3,227 words, complete

truth or truth type thing!! mike asking will if he’s ever been in love, essentially a sweet lil coming out concession thing. really loved this one <33

if only we could meet again - 21,251 words, complete

in which mike and will lose touch but meet again midway through college. i’m such a sucker for college aus, and this one is SO underrated- the plot twist at the end, the parallels, the references? it’s all SO good

i’m thankful for my sister (even if sometimes we fight) - 18,047 words, complete

to those of you longing for mike and nancy to have a better sibling relationship, i present to you this fic. mike confiding in nancy and asking her for advice <3

you spin me right round - 2,624 words, complete

spin the bottle. says it all. mwah <3

sounds pretty gay - 15,699 words, complete

“no, mike, not all boys think that other boys are pretty” -dustin and lucas in this fic. mike is only oblivious when it comes to homosexuality and will and it’s for that reason that i love him

dustin henderson, the scientific method, and homosexuality - 3,252 words, complete

this one is SO beyond underrated and i DO NOT UNDERSTAND HOW?? it’s told from dustin’s point of view, as he starts to realize that hey. maybe they’re like. Not Straight.

a quick warning before we proceed! as i scroll further back through my bookmarks, we come to a point where these fics were written before volume two and therefore may be slightly canon divergent. this next fic is about when that begins. but! i loved them before volume two, and i still love them now, and will therefore be including them in the list. keep an open mind <3

cartwheel heart - 14,638 words, complete

will gets vecna’d truthers, rise up! she’s angsty but my god is she good

in my room - 7,947 words, complete

in which mike and will just- talk. because god knows all they need is a genuine, truthful conversation, and all their problems would be solved.

P.S. i love you - 13,083 words, incomplete

of course mike wrote will letters, he just didn’t send them!

karen did though lmao

rocky roads with uncertain ends - 2,893 words, complete

anyways, volume one will deserved to be a little angry. thank you to this beloved author for letting that happen.

a very murray mistletoe - 4,827 words, complete

alright, this is probably the fic with the most hits on this entire list. it’s also my absolute favorite, and the FIRST fic i ever bookmarked when i got my ao3 account. @/andiwriteordie, you are incredible and i love your writing. anyways. for those do you who want a murrayed byler- READ THIS ONE!!

[fenraheart]

Welcome to my rant on why Mike walters is a worse person than Jon sims so people should be nicer to jon by the transitive property

I think a lot about comparisons between woe.begone and tma because they’re both hyperfixations but anyways here’s my unfiltered 2 am thoughts

(Spoilers for both ahead)

(Making the note now that “mike walters” refers to a collective of ALL mikes walters)

Something I find interesting is that mike walters is probably a worse person than Jon sims (despite Jon being sort of the cause for actually literally the end of the world), and yet mike’s friends are more sympathetic to mike than Jon’s friends are to Jon.

Like, Jon was manipulated into that, obviously he didn’t *want* that. I don’t really attribute that to him. Tbh the worst he’s done is eat some fear and kill some evil ppl but that’s not that bad. (My standards have been shifted so far due to mike walters LMAO)

You could *argue* that mike has been forced into doing shit but half the time it’s mike’s future/alternate self doing the forcing. He’s literally going “yeah I’m doing this to get time travel (power), not to help Matt” in season ONE. Part of the reason he wants power is because people are trying to kill him but like. It’s the pursuit of a horrifying technology beyond what humanity should have (cosmic horror, but that’s a separate tumblr post I’ll make at some point). I struggle to find a reason WHY Mike wants more and more power so bad but that’s part of the point. There isn’t really a point, other than to be the strongest one, the one on top.

Like, Jon is really trying to save the world. Mike wants power so that he can’t be pushed around by those above him. Both are willing to kill/hurt to survive, but mike’s motivations are inherently more selfish.

(There’s also the “mike(y?) kills 1500 people” thing but tbh im currently coping and hoping hunter’s lying about that one 🙂)

Anyways. Arguably Jon has a higher kill count if you count the apocalypse, but I don’t, so mike has the higher kill count and I love him for that.

Which brings me to my point. Why are people so mean to Jon??? He’s literally trying to do the right thing and manipulated at every step of the way. If mike “killed way more people than the average person” walters can have nice friends then Jon deserves nice friends. Mike will shoot someone he doesn’t know in cold blood if someone convinces him it’s for Edgar.

I’m spitballing here but it might be their meow meow factor. Jon tries to be appear more competent than he is, tries to cover up the inner pathetic meow meow. Mike is whiny and he canonically has “puppy dog eyes” and looks at people like 🥺 when they’re trying to kill him. He’s literally a cat he knocks things off the shelf (kills people) but then he goes 🥺 and you can’t stay mad at him. He openly admits to attempting to appear MORE PATHETIC to get a guy choking and threatening him to stop.

I have a databases midterm tomorrow so here are some functional dependencies of questionable accuracy of what a functional dependency is

Mike is a worse person than Jon —> his friends are nice to him

Jon is an okay person —> his friends are mean to him

Jon is an okay person —> mike is a worse person than jon

And here’s the kicker (transitive property):

Jon is an okay person —> his friends (should be) nice to him

[devilsrecreation]

I actually do have thoughts on the Season 2 trailer of MAW

First off, it already looks super promising with the MU characters coming back and the entire plotline with Tylor

Johnny’s the CEO of Fear Co. bc of course he is lol. Having said that, it’s really fitting for him. I still bet that Chet is his right hand monster

I love the little Easter eggs during the college reunion clip, like we get to see Frank McCay (the guy in the beginning of the prequel who gave Mike his hat) and Earl “The Terror” Thompson there

“Don’t quit your day job!…Oh wait, that IS your day job” Lmao stop djdhhd

The youtuber DazzReveiws mentioned the kid in the trailer looks like a Cocomelon baby and I can’t unsee it 😭

I wonder what Fear Co. is like. Do they use closet doors or do they scare from under the bed? Or do all monsters come from closets and the bed is just a hiding place? I’ve always wondered that 🤔

Can’t wait to see Duncan again I miss him

I hope Oozma Kappa and the other ROR members come back. I wanna see what they’re up to. Did OK also go from Scarers to Jokesters? Did they move to Fear Co? What’re they gonna think of Tylor? They’d like MIFT altogether cuz misfits

If Javier makes a cameo, I really hope he has lines. I’d love to see what he sounds like. Personally, my voice claim for him is Diego from Awkward Puppets but I also heard Danny Trejo is making a guest appearance so maybe he’s gonna be Javier

Claire looks great, but I wanna know where Brock is. Where is my hype man?

Jennifer Coolidge is apparently another guest star and now I’m curious to who her character is

The new characters look promising too. I’d like to see what they do with Grandma Tuskmon. She seems like the type to bake you cookies if you’re feeling sad but also capable of ripping someone a new asshole if they deserve it

I bet there’s gonna be a lot of references to MI and MU. I can see Mike trying to persuade Tylor into not going like “This is the same guy who dumped paint over me and Sully back in college! You can’t trust him!”

I know Randall’s probably not coming back but can you imagine what it’d be like? Like while Tylor’s dealing with Fear Co, Mike and Sully have to deal with Randall along with keeping the company afloat

Then again, it’d be cute if Randall helped Tylor just to get back at Johnny

“I thought you’d want me to go back to scaring”

“Yeah, but at the same time, screw Johnny”

I can’t wait to know who this lizard lady is

Is she gonna be an unlovable, one-sided villain? A lovable villain? Is she gonna be one of the sweetest characters in the show? Does she have an accent? She looks like she’d have an accent. Or at least an iconic voice.

[mikelogan]

A SFW a-z alphabet please 🙏

below the cut bc this was not short lmao (also a couple of the answers do have a TW for mentions of child abuse)

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Mike is a very affectionate person once he knows he can let his guard down a bit. There’s also a learning curve for him because for so long, the only type of touch he knew was pain. When he gets older and realizes he can use sex to quiet the thoughts in his head and feel pleasure, that’s what he chases. One-night stands or brief, fleeting relationships that always end in hurt feelings because he can’t live up to anyone else’s expectations. But when he finds someone who is a better fit and who understands him on a deeper level and things actually seem to last, he’s genuinely the sweetest boy! He’s very very big on touching, very tactile. He initiates cuddling and hugs and soft little kisses and really just starts to thrive when his partner does the same, when he realizes he’s deserving of that level of tenderness. He may not be the best when it comes to verbalizing his feelings, but the safer and more secure he feels, he does start to open up gradually. Just the act of him telling his partner more about his past or what he thinks about, just letting them in, is a form of his affection as well. He also strikes me as the type to leave little notes if he gets called in or is asleep before his partner gets home.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

I think Mike probably feels like he’s a bad friend? He’s so married to his job – work is everything to him – and that doesn’t leave a ton of room for extra-curriculars other than a few drinks in a bar where he can find someone to take home. But in reality, Mike is such a loyal person that when he finds people who take the time to really see him and don’t just write him off as some hothead cop, he’d do anything for them. People mean a lot to Mike, even if he doesn’t mean the same to him. As for how a friendship might begin, I can so easily see it being at one of his usual bars or even a restaurant he frequents and he’s sitting a bit off to the side, by himself, knocking back a couple drinks with his eyes glued to the TV that’s playing whatever sport is in-season and someone makes an errant comment about the game and he kind of perks up, especially if it’s an opinion he shares (though he takes great joy in giving Mets fans a hard time). As standoffish or unapproachable as he might appear, he is a good person, can be perfectly friendly. I think he just has to get past that initial wave of suspicion, like if someone is talking to him they must have an ulterior motive sort of situation. 

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Mikey, my sweet, cuddly boy!! In the same vein as A, as soon as he knows he can trust someone, he wants them in his arms or to feel their embrace. He’s such a spooner, but also I don’t think he’d be super particular about the how as long as he and his partner are curled around one another and tangled together in some way, shape, or form. (See this SATC gifset)

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)TW for mentions of child abuse

For a long time – longer than it should take because he’s a stubborn motherfucker – Mike convinces himself he doesn’t want that. He doesn’t want to settle down or get married or have kids or any of that conventional, traditional stuff. And that’d be fine if it was true. But he wants that so damn badly that there’s an ache inside him that grows more and more pronounced as he goes from relationship to relationship. The most heartbreaking part of it is that he thinks he doesn’t deserve those things. That he doesn’t deserve happiness. That’s something other people get, but not him. And he buries that so deep, deep enough that he can tell himself he doesn’t want that, that he’s a terminal bachelor and who knows how many other platitudes. He just has such a hard time with his self-loathing. His entire childhood was spent being told and shown how worthless he was, that he deserved everything his mother did to him, and even though he logically knows he didn’t deserve that, that no child does, it’s something he has to work through and for a long time, he doesn’t want to go there because it’s easier to keep pushing it down than to unpack it all. That got depressing. Anyway, cooking and cleaning! I’m holding firm on my “Mike’s a fucking awful cook” stance. He’s not so inept that he can’t feed himself, but it’s pretty basic stuff. He can follow the directions on the back of a box for the most part, but I don’t see him enjoying cooking. He does it as little as possible, especially because the majority of his time is spent at work, plus working out and bars and sex and all that jazz, so he just doesn’t have the time for anything more. I do think he’s pretty clean, though. He’s terrible with laundry, but most clothes typically end up in or near the hamper. It’s just lugging it downstairs and actually washing and drying everything that he’s bad at keeping up with. Otherwise, his apartment is pretty damn clean and he’s fairly organized. Sometimes paperwork gets out of hand, but he’s on overtime anyway so he might as well stay a few extra hours to sort through it all every once in a while. 

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

It really depends on the length of the relationship. I wouldn’t say Mike is commitment-phobic per se, but he certainly keeps his guard up for a while – which incidentally is why a lot of his relationships never quite make it off the ground. So if it’s more of a fling, just a few weeks or even a couple months, he hasn’t really let himself get super close yet and there’s an element of detachment. He would never go out of his way to hurt someone, but I think he’d be upfront and I don’t know, emotionless isn’t the right word, but kind of stoic about it? Probably would try and make a joke or “At least we had fun, right?” sorta vibe which definitely gets mixed reactions. In a more long-term relationship (which in my opinion he probably has very few of), it’s definitely a lot harder. He still tries to search for that detachment, but it’s nowhere near as easy once he’s been more vulnerable with someone. There’s that voice in his head telling him he should have known better than to take those walls down, that this is how it always goes, and he beats himself up afterwards for ruining a seemingly good thing. I do think that in these cases, he’s probably the one being broken up with because his partner just isn’t getting what they want or need, and it very rarely comes as a surprise. He can see the signs, but he doesn’t want to be the one to do it.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Like I said for E, he’s not completely commitment-phobic, but it’s a tough line for him. He really needs to be in a place where he’s looked inside himself, GOTTEN SOME MOTHERFUCKING THERAPY JESUS H CHRIST, and at least has started to tackle the issues he has at their root causes. And that’s really hard. But when he finds the right person, it’s something he has to do otherwise he’s not going to be able to give all of himself the way he wants to. He has to have those hard conversations and let them in, give them all the gory details he keeps to himself. But god, when that happens? It’s not like he’s a different person, but he’s so much freer and it looks so good on him. Given all that, marriage definitely is not something he’s going to jump into. He needs to be absolutely sure – mostly about himself rather than his partner because he’d already be sure about them – that this is what he wants and even then, he’s still going to turn it over and over again in his head, try to map out every possible outcome. But ultimately, it’s still a leap of faith, both in his partner and in himself. He’s nervous as hell and just as emotional, but once he gets to say the word “husband” or “wife” it’s this culmination of all his hard work and he finally gets to reap the benefits.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Sweet! Boy! He’s definitely gentler on the physical side of things because being gentle emotionally takes more work for him. Not everyone can make or will respond well to flippant jokes or sarcastic comments about his past trauma. He really just has to get a feel for the person first. That being said, when the situation calls for it and he knows his partner needs it, he can be so tender and soft that it almost hurts. At his core, Mike is someone who cares so much and that can be really difficult! But there’s a level of respect there that not everyone in his life gets. I would even go so far as to say that his partner is the person he has the most respect for. He might not always say or do the right thing, but he tries to be what they need, even when he’s not sure he’s capable. 

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

In general, I don’t think he minds hugs. He may not always be the one to initiate them, but if someone he’s comfortable around on a basic level goes for one, he’s not going to shy away. In Exiled when he’s back at the 2-7 for the first time, he hugs Lennie (so briefly lest it look gay) and I’m pretty sure Profaci, too, but I’m too lazy to look through my clips. He hugs Shirley, Profaci’s wife and touches her belly when they tell him she’s pregnant, like!! Tactile!! I told you!! With his partner, he’s always always always pulling them into his arms, whether it’s just for the hell of it or if they need comfort or virtually any other reason. Those are usually accompanied by a kiss, pressed to their lips or cheek, their temple or the top of their head. He’s a sweet boy (I type for the hundredth time because he is!! A SWEET BOY!!)

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

That. Is an excellent question. Again, it takes him a while to start letting down those walls and it’s even longer than that before he can say the words. But once he’s sure? Once he knows that’s how he feels (and likely gets some sort of confirmation from his partner that they feel the same or if they say it first), he can say it with surprising ease. Mike isn’t a liar and while he’s not exactly a stranger to hiding or suppressing his feelings, he’s able to say that much. And then it’s like he can’t stop saying it. He’ll whisper it into their hair or during more intimate acts, he’ll say it just watching them do something terribly mundane, he’ll say it when they crack a joke or laugh at one of his. Sweet. Boy.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Another one of those more nuanced questions, at least in my opinion. Mike would quite literally never cheat. He’s a slut, but he’s a smart, safe, monogamous slut. Because of that, because it’s something that truly never crosses his mind, it’s also not something he’d expect from a partner. But if he’s not fully comfortable in a relationship or he doesn’t know the person that well yet or he suspects something, that jealousy can flare a bit. But in a long-term relationship, it’s really not on his radar unless his partner makes him think there’s a reason for it to be. Even then, I think it’d be more a feeling of betrayal than jealousy,  but there’s definitely an element of it there. The thing is that when he trusts his partner, he trusts them. If they’re going out without him, he’s not sitting at home or at work wondering what they’re doing or if they’re being faithful. He’s hoping they’re having a good time, he wants them to have fun and that doesn’t always have to be with him! He can get possessive, but that to me is a more sexual thing, more of like a “tell me you’re mine” kind of vibe rather than legitimate jealousy. 

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Mike do be kissin’! Really depends on the context though! He contains multitudes, can go from chaste little pecks to full-on licking into someone’s mouth. Most often, he tends toward the tamer end of the spectrum unless it’s clear things will be going further. For the former, like I said above, you’ve got forehead, temple, hair/head, cheek, lips, hand. For the latter, boy’s going anywhere his lips can reach, especially the neck. He’s a neck kisser for sure. As for when he’s the recipient of a kiss, I feel like he’d probably most prefer being kissed on the lips, but is certainly not averse to pretty much any other spot either. Sometimes a guy just needs little kisses pressed all over his face, y’know? It’s good for the soul.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)TW for mentions of child abuse

Mike is literally so good with kids and it makes me want to cry (and I don’t even like kids)!! In my head, he has a sister who has a veritable football team of children, all of whom he absolutely adores. He’s the uncle crawling around on his hands and knees while an indeterminate amount of screeching little creatures clings to his back. Holding babies does make him nervous, even after the 84th kid (I joke), but once he’s sitting down and settled with them in his arms or against his chest, it feels so natural. And that probably scares him at first for the various issues mentioned in previous questions, but once he allows himself to want that for himself, holding a baby is the best thing in the world. Their little fingers wrapping around his and he’s always making sure their socks stay on so their tiny feet don’t get cold and he talks to them so softly and I am crying in the club. When it comes to work, he’s always going to fight for kids. Fuck me up, Law & Order 1x09 “Indifference.” If there’s a scared or hurt kid, they are his first priority and he’ll fight tooth and nail to make sure they don’t go back to someone who poses a danger to them. It’s also why any case where abuse and/or the murder of a child is involved are so hard for him. He wants to save every kid and it’s not like a noble heroic thing like some people might think. It’s because he wished every day as a kid that someone would come save him. 

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Mikey’s a sleepy boy. He is the opposite of a morning person. He’s typically on the quiet side, his eyes still heavy with sleep and his hair a mess. He is almost certainly leaning against his partner or laying his head on their shoulder at some point or another. All he wants is to sleep in and not have to wake up to the blaring of an alarm or a page from work. Breakfast is eaten hastily, a piece of toast stuffed in his mouth while he pulls his clothes on, and coffee is an essential. He’s not cranky exactly, just… non-functional.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Nights are spent (most often) lazing on the couch and watching a movie or a game or the news if he wants to get pissed off. Nights are for taking his time whenever possible, cuddling up with his partner or showering or sometimes just flopping straight into bed after a long or difficult day. Unfortunately, a lot of times, work bleeds into the night, well past suppertime, but it’s part of the job. When he’s off or on vacation, he’ll stay up late and sleep in and be the happiest, softest boy. 

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

I’ve pretty much already answered this a few times at this point, so the tl;dr version is that it takes him a while to open up and it’s very much a gradual process of sharing pieces of information here and there. A lot of that is because they’re just hard topics to discuss, difficult memories to talk about, but he also needs to know that he’s safe and can trust his partner before he gets to that point.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Hang on, I’m just looking into the camera like I’m in The Office, it’ll just be a moment. We all know he has a temper, but said temper is very situational. He gets angry at work because of injustice. Like genuinely, show me an instance of him blowing up and tell me it’s not for that reason. The only other option that gets him that heated is his own self-loathing. In his personal life, I don’t think Mike is anywhere near as angry as he is at work. And it sucks that he feels that way so often, but at least at home with his partner, he’s happy. This isn’t to say that there wouldn’t be fights between them, but even then, he’s more likely to shut down and go take a walk or go silent than he is to go off on them. 

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Mike cares. He may not be able to recall every single detail of everything his partner tells him, but he remembers the stuff that counts and he pays attention more than you might think. He listens when they talk and is the type to go back and purchase something they said they liked or needed just as a nice thing to do. He’s not the asshole who forgets birthdays or anniversaries or anything like that. If he misses something, it’s because work got in the way, which is something he never stops feeling guilty about even when it’s out of his control. 

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

I’m torn between thinking it’s something super mundane but was more of an introspective moment for him, like his partner just looked so beautiful, the light was hitting them just right or they were laughing and it hits him how much he loves them and how lucky he is to have them in his life OR thinking it’s something big, like when he proposes or they first say I love you, things more on that order. Either way, he’s a big ol’ softie and both of those things have the ability to make him go all misty-eyed. 

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Sweet boy tries his best!! He’s a lil dumb, but that’s okay. Like I just think the romance aspect doesn’t come super easy to him, but he learns what’s meaningful to his partner and does his best using that knowledge. If they’re not into big, grand gestures, he does definitely breathe a sigh of relief, but truly no matter what it is, he’s putting in the effort. That’s almost more meaningful than the surprise/gesture itself. He’ll think and overthink what gift to get them a hundred times because he wants to get it just right. The average date is rarely something ultra-romantic, probably more geared toward doing something his partner and/or he enjoys. Anniversaries are a bit of a bigger deal, usually involve reservations at a nice restaurant or something similar, but his favorite words are “why don’t we just stay in.”

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

PLEASE PUT YOUR SOCKS IN THE FUCKING HAMPER, MIKE, IT’S REALLY NOT THAT HARD!! Just stupid shit like that, we all have things on that order. Bigger issues are, of course, his propensity to close himself off or shut down rather than being honest and forthcoming, his temper, and – depending on how you view it or how it affects his personal life – how much of himself he puts into his work. That undoubtedly will put a strain on any relationship at one point or another. 

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

He likes to look good and when he does, he knows it, baby *finger guns*. Most of that is just his stupid gorgeous face, but the hair certainly plays a part and he’s willing to put effort into that. Really, he just knows he’s attractive and he’s not above using that to his advantage when the need arises. 

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Yes! Okay, like obviously marriage or a relationship is not the end-all be-all for everyone and that’s perfectly fine. But for so long, Mike makes himself believe he doesn’t need or want that and puts all his energy into his work, and all that gets him is trauma, a decade-long stint on the trash heap of New York City, and some more trauma. At some point, he’s going to realize that he’s never going to be truly happy working for people that couldn’t care less about him or actively hate him. Once he finds his person, on some levels it feels like a religious experience. It’s still not always easy, especially at the start, but he’ll have those moments of clarity when he realizes that he doesn’t want to run away like he has in the past. He wants to be with them, even during the bad stuff. Whether or not that includes starting a family is negotiable, but finding the right person for him is easily the best thing that ever happens to him. 

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

I suppose it’s not so much a headcanon as it is fact, but sweet boy loves him some Sinatra. Knows all the things, probably has a lot of his stuff on vinyl, can recall trivia at the drop of a hat. Not a terrible singer himself. But he likes music in general, tends toward some of the older stuff, but also can get into more contemporary rock. Likes Elvis and Billy Joel and the Eagles and CCR, doesn’t mind The Beatles, loves Blood, Sweat & Tears, has been known to listen to Frankie Valli and Roy Orbison and Buddy Holly, probably knows a ton of Led Zeppelin and Sam Cooke, and is just generally all over the place when it comes to music. Is an absolute menace and will hum or sing to his partner and slow dance with them even when it makes them melt. 

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

It probably goes without saying that any criminal behavior would not be his jam, but I can’t see him being with someone super high-maintenance just given the nature of his job or anyone who isn’t willing to be patient or take the time to really get to know him. He won’t tolerate infidelity and lying just hurts – plus he’s a damn good judge of character and can tell when someone is lying to him most of the time. Anyone entitled or super materialistic would also make a poor match. Anyone not supportive of the LGBTQ+ community because that boy is bi, I will hear nothing to the contrary. I think he probably has to work through some internalized homophobia, but that’s when he’s younger, likely before he even joins the force. I don’t know that it would necessarily be a dealbreaker for him, but someone just generally apathetic about the law? Like, he is so passionate about what he does and has very strong morals and beliefs and while not everything has to align perfectly, I don’t think he’d be able to understand someone just flat-out not caring.  Also would not be able to stomach anyone who's very religious or anyone who tries to force their religious beliefs on others.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?)

He’s one of those assholes who can pretty much sleep anywhere any time just by virtue of being on-call. He’ll grab sleep whenever he can get it because he never knows when he might get called in. Also a very heavy sleeper. He can wake up for an alarm, a page, and if he has kids, he totally has the Dad Sense and will wake up if he hears them crying, but otherwise, he’s out.

[gerhardtz]

Hiii I was just thinking about how we don’t get to see Rye and Simone interact and I couldn’t decide whether I thought they would get along and he would encourage her acting out since he probably related to her a lot with being treated as lesser than by the family and to piss off Dodd or whether he would chastise her like the others do as an attempt to emphasize his higher status in the family compared to her with him being Otto’s son and male and all that and then I thought I bet tumblr user gerhardtz has thoughts about this !

YESSS YESYEYSYEYSYES I HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT THIS SOOOO MUCH !!!!! their dynamic is sooo interesting to me, i've genuinely ranted to one of my irls for 30 minutes straight about them LMAO

i personally like to think that they were quite close and that he encourages her acting out, mostly because i see a lot of parallels between them in the way they act so it's clear he's had a pretty big influence on her. re: they both do cocaine before a delicate and important discussion and then proceed to fumble it COMPLETELY. among other things. like uncle like niece. also given the way dodd treats him, i'm sure he takes great joy in seeing him freak out over the shit they get up to LMAO

i also don't think he'd pass up the opportunity to actually have, like, a family member who he can relate to. so i doubt he'd try to put her down to bring himself up when he made it pretty clear in his opening scene that he doesn't see himself as deserving of praise. plus i doubt simone would hang out with him if he treated her badly – if they talk enough for floyd to know he tells her things he doesnt tell the rest of the family, it's safe to assume she at least tolerated him lol. one thing that briefly made me reconsider was the way she didn't seem to care when mike said rye might be "gone for good", but i pretty much chalked that up to her a) being high and b) not wanting to think about that but also not wanting to be vulnerable, so resorting to pretending not to care.

i like to think i'm pretty well versed on rye as a character ??? i know he's only got like 20 minutes of screen-time but from context clues in the way his family talk about him + the way he was framed in episode 1, i actually managed to write an academic essay on the guy haha. i think that maybe qualifies me to ryepost as much as i do. maybe. or i'm delusional and making shit up. either way i like him and i like simone and i think they're buddies :>