#like they do a pun and then lampshade how bad the pun was. “do you get it heh” *awkward face*. youre not as self aware as you think u are

[daenystheedreamer]

Do you watch video essays, Father Yin?

yeah but im very picky i hate when they get masturbatory. i despise irony culture i despise post-ironic "sincerity culture" which is just another performative way of not being honest in any way. i think that defunctland video on the disney logo thing is a prime example of video essays i hate even though i generally enjoy his content. also i personally despise the contrapoints style i hate the lighting i despise the "fandom" and i think all video essays should be in the form of lectures. No Fun In My Dictatorship. also i hate bisexual people

[fedoraspooky]

I saw that you got into Felix cartoons lately, and I'm curious: have you watched any of the others besides Twisted Tales? What do you think of them? Also, did you know there used to be a live-action Barney-esque TV show for kids that had Felix and a koala as costumed characters?

Have I??

Oh Anon... sweet Anon. *puts my hand on your shoulder* Trust me, I am fighting the urge to become an unskippable cutscene about this as we speak. I'm losing, by the way.

But yes, I have seen... not all of it, but quite a lot, and I'll try not to write a whole novel! Key word being "try". .w.; You... might regret this actually, I'm sorry.

Starting with the 1920s cartoons: aside from the problems inherent in being a product of its time (*cough*racist caricatures*cough*), these shorts were a fun watch! Lots of surreal humor and visual gags. Felix was a scrappy lil' guy back then- stealing fish, getting into fights and getting drunk on several occasions. He didn't have his magic bag 'til the 50s, so he had to get a lot more crafty in using his environment or his own body parts (stuff like pulling off his tail and using it as a tool) to get out of trouble- and if all else failed he'd throw fists or pull a gun. XD Most importantly, he'd run away on all fours when scared, I just thought that was a cute detail. This is probably my favorite version of the character outside of Twisted Tales!Felix. (and the best part is this version of him is public domain now! Yay, free real estate!)

The 30's cartoons: There were only three of these. Idk, I don't have much to say other than they were cute and I enjoyed them. He's deffo more Mickey Mouse-like here, personality-wise.

The 50s cartoon series: This is probs the version of Felix most people seem familiar with- it introduces the magic bag (mostly as a time-saving measure since this show is DEFFO on a budget) and most of the supporting cast that have appeared in stuff since then (the Professor, Rock Bottom, Poindexter, etc). I didn't think I'd like it that much going in, but it kinda grew on me a little bit- primarily due to how janky the animation is, the stilted voice acting, and how out of left field the plots tend to get... It has a lot of what I like to call "naturally occurring shitpost moments". Ngl I've been tempted to make a compilation for funsies, much like I did with 80s Astro Boy... XD That said, it has its charm. Just a warning though, this WAS made in the 50s so be prepared for more "product of its time" moments in some episodes. .w.;

Felix the Cat: The Movie (1988): WHOOO IS THE BOSS? THE DUKE OF ZILL, OF COURSE~ Okay so, this movie? Idk if I'd call it a good movie, but it's definitely strange and entertaining. I watched the hell out of it as a kid and this was the very first animated Felix thing I had ever seen, so I can't really be impartial due to how nostalgia-poisoned I am about it. XD I liked the songs- even the ones that had no reason to be there, like the one that's about the foxes that only show up to piss on Felix and leave. We have a strange attempt at rebooting Master Cylinder as an invention of a bad guy from another dimension instead of being an evil robot guy from space? Felix laughs at the skeleton of someone who got crushed to death in a gold mine and blows a raspberry at it. There's... gyrating lady fish, and a swamp monster that shouts Marlon Brando quotes. The movie starts and ends with a giant disembodied floating 3D felix head... He saves a princess?? I guess??? There's just a lot that happens here.

Twisted Tales of Felix the Cat (90s): This one is obvs my favorite of the whole bunch. I know, I know, blazing hot take. It does a good job mixing in the fun surrealness of the 20s cartoons, and he goes back to doing stuff like taking the top of his head off like a hat and using body parts as tools instead of just solving everything with the magic bag (in fact it lampshades that a lot in season 2). It has more humor than just puns (Stares ominously at Felix Saves Christmas) though it does have some of those too (he even gets arrested for it at one point), and most of all it gives him an actual personality aside from "good boy Mickey Mouse clone but also kinda sassy sometimes" (once again staring ominously at Felix Saves Christmas I will get to you later!!). If you only have time to ever watch one Felix cartoon series in your whole life, make it this one.

Baby Felix (2000s) - I'll be real with ya chief I haven't watched this one aside from like one episode. From what I saw... eh, it was okay. I'm not usually a fan of the trend of cartoons having series of the baby/kid versions of themselves outside of a few exceptions (like A Pup Named Scooby and Muppet Babies, but idk that might just be nostalgia talkin'). Apparently he shows up as an adult sometimes in this show and helps out his baby self, which somehow doesn't cause a horrible time paradox? Idk I might watch more of it later, it CANT be worse than the next one, which is... sigh...

Felix Saves Christmas (2004) - This movie is not good. I went in expecting it not to be, and it met my expectations. Is it horrible? I kinda wish it was, so it would've been more entertaining that way at least. Mostly, it's just kinda boring. The humor is puns, and sometimes signs that say a goofy thing on it. It's got music, including a four and a half minute long song that just repeats the lyrics "Snow kids rock, snow kids rule, snow kids... are cool" while said snow kids do extreme sports in looping animations. Most of this movie feels like it's just padding for time so it can be marketed as a movie- if you edited out everything that wasn't relevant to the plot or the main characters, you'd probably have a 20 minute special. Idk it's just sad that this is the last animated felix media we've had in 20 years, since it doesn't look like dreamworks/universal is gonna do anything with him- they're just kinda sitting on the rights. There WAS a comic that came out since then, but I haven't been able to get my hands on it to read it. Maybe one day when I have money. XD ;

ALSO YES, I actually saw that live action show you were talking about! It's not a cartoon, but heck with it i'll throw in my thoughts anyway since we're already here.

Felix the Cat Live (70s): So I found this on youtube while poking around, and I gave a few episodes a watch because I was surprised by the novelty of this even being a thing that existed. Felix doesn't really act like any prior versions of himself here, he's just kind of a nice friendly kid show host who gives the kid characters advice about stuff. The costume itself isn't too bad, though his body's kinda lacking shape- it's kinda just black jammies with a big ol head on top. Interestingly they gave him a red bow tie with white polka dots and his eyes always look a lil sleepy because they're partially-lidded- probably to give him a 'softer' appearance. Also the koala is kind of like a weird proto-Rosco? At least personality-wise. I don't know if he's in anything else. Over all a strange watch, deffo the most obscure thing on this list.

...

So anyway! That's all my thoughts, Anon, I hope this was everything you ever wanted and that you don't wish you never asked me about the funni rubberhose cat. XD ;;

[liquidstar]

You know I love Ram and I like Roswaal, but I do not understand their relationship. Like Ram, your taste in men can't be this bad.

her taste in men IS trash but the story itself seems pretty self-aware about this, like, other characters straight up tell her "you have horrible taste" (betty and julius both say it outright). i think the reason she fell for him was because she eventually realized he was also a victim, which lead to her have sympathy (almost pity) for him and eventually see him in a different light.

and for all the fucked up shit hes done ram isnt wrong, he IS a victim. he was, like, a teenager when he first met echidna. and the way that meeting went was... super gross LOL. but it was like that For A Reason, from the 1st instance of them interacting we know that this isnt a pure love of any kind just based on how the... vomit kiss. still gross. it wouldnt be a longshot (no pun intended) to say that he was groomed is what im saying.

i think ram just kind of recognized that over time and ended up resonating with it. like it makes sense but that doesnt mean her taste isnt shit. like again this gets lampshaded and all. even roswaal himself doesnt think he deserves that love which is one thing we agree on lmao. but its also another subaru parallel in which he sees himself as unlovable and all. at the very least the feeling doesnt seem to be mutual and he never actually intended to lead her on with romantic feelings so congrats for the bare minimum clown man. youre still fucked up tho

[popculturebuffet]

Amphibia Reviews: The First Temple or Bessie and Joe: The New OTP

Hello all you happy people! Amphibia season 2 moves right a long and it’s time for some video game shenanigans as we enter The First Temple! Family drama, snail on bird action, and outhouses await you under the cut with a recap/review with full spoilers. 

So we open with the Plantars having chocopillbug pancakes. Ironically my mom offered me chocolate chip pancakes after this and thank god for that. This is a rare treat to the point Anne didn’t even know they had choclate, and is suprisingly not strangling Hop Pop over this. Unsuprisingly he broke out the good stuff to try and make up for hiding the box and things are still VERY awkward between the two, with Hop Pop walking on Egghshells around Anne and Anne doing the same when he brings it up with both desperatley trying to avoid the subject and Sprig not helping by bringing it up a bunch. 

I like this a lot and didn’t really think about the series continuting any tension over his decision.. but should have. Partly because this is a modern animated show and most of this wonderful new wave of shows have a LOT of emotional nuance. ANd partly because this show dosen’t forget things even most nuanced shows forget: the fact the characters cause chaos and learn life lesons is outright RECOGNZIED by the show as a pattern and brought up quite often, as are the patterns that lead to it, like mostly being sprig and anne, anne’s impulsivness that sort of thing. It’s the kind of thing you just gloss over in most shows but this one lampshades to hell and back for funsies so when something THIS important happens, you’d better belivie it’s not just going to disappear. 

The tensions thankfully broken by a new arrival, as a massive sparrow shows up in the yard. “It’s a giant bird with.. books on it’s back.. what. “ Great delivery from bill there. Naturally it’s Marcy! 

I missed this little goober. Such a joy to be around, and she of course marvels over the Plantar’s house before getting back on track: She’s found the first temple.. even though she sent a letter saying that and it’s not commented on that she did. It set off the whole previous episode Marcy... you okay Mar-Mar?

That aside though it’s time for the first temple and Marcy asks for the Box, with Sprig trying to make a joke about how good thing she didn’t ask for it a week ago. 

Polly rightly punches him in the ribs... do frogs have ribs? Hold on.. okay here we go

Huh.. so they do not You learn something new every day. Well lack of ribs or no our heroes are ready.. while Marcy’s sparrow Joe is also ready TO GET IT ON. Yes really, he does a mating dance for Bessie, complete with an intersumental version of “Sylvia” from last season. God damn that bird’s got game. The only time i’ve seen more game is THIS. 

 Marcy tells him to knock it off. Look marcy your a pet owner now and as a pet owner, it’s your responsiblity.. to let your giant bird do horrifying things with a slightly smaller but still giant snail. it’s what nature intended. Nature was doing a lot of cocaine that day but we still honor her wishes. 

But anyways Marcy’s figure out something intresting about the box.. by winding it just right the gems pop out, which allows her to take one, we later find out it’s the green one, to use in the temple. So off we go with Marcy and the rest of the kids up top and Hop Pop.. screaming in Joe Sparrows claws. He’s fine. 

So while they get ready, Anne worries about the amount of puzzles and hazzards Marcy’s hyping for this but Marcy shurgs it off and gives her own big boast about how may RTS she’s beaten.. suspciously like Yuaan as one post on here pointed out. Not a huge suprise though, to Marcy she’d just be the grand hero out of one of her rpg’s and not think of how many people she probably killed or who she’s working for.. though you’d THNK given all the RPG’s both tapetop and on her switch she’s played, that Marcy would see that “the benevolent king turns out to be the big bad” trope coming. 

But Anne’s worry is not on the big bad of the show but on Marcy who has a tendency to get so in the zone she ignores the world around her, which goes from focusing on her game while helping anne get softserve leading to a mess, not letting Anne down in a play and.. Anne catching Marcy on tv as all the snakes escape from the zoo. 

Regardless our heroes arrive and while the awkwardness between anne and hop pop continues, they find a majestic temple.. and what appears to be an outhouse. Hey we all gotta poop sometimes, even people making a majestic temple.  If you don’t it comes out like this. 

So they head in and we get our first puzzle, a mysterious cube that lifts you into the air and allows you to tilt the thing around. 

Those of you wondering why I have such a strong reaction have ever never played breath of the wild or played it with a pro controller, i.e. NOT having to tilt the very thing your screen is on because Nintendo has failed to grasp that MAYBE people don’t like that, that it takes you out of the experince and that it’s really hard to focus on your screen while having to move the fucking system about. And the plantar’s getting horribly jostled around as she moves it is EXACTLY how it feels to play a puzzle requring that shit. 

Next is a color based tile dungeon leftover from Link’s Awakening DX. As marcy figures out the reds do fire and the blues do crushing... but she reads the language (And as she put earlier “Guess who learned an entire dead language?” God she’s precious. ) and finds a green with envy pun (Which Hop Pop takes offense to.. several of his friends are green.). Which is curious as given several citzens of amphibia are green.. why would they make a green pun? So she gets on one tile and Hop Pop plans to take the risk of getting on the other green tile, but Anne does it instead.. and things get heated between the two as Anne reveals she no longe feels like family since he did what he did for polly and sprig and hop pop takes offense as she IS. Even if he screwed up with her. But Anne’s near death experince activates the tile. 

The final challnge switches us from Zelda.. to Harry Freaking Potter. 

Now I used to love Harry Potter, with all of my heart. Then JK Rowling turned out to be a transphobic piece of shit who thinks she’s an ally, but is really a bigot who wants to “accept” trans people without giving them any rights. So yeah while I still love the starkid musicals, ore more accuratley the music from them, and own a copy of lego harry potter I got as a gift recently as both parties had no idea she was a monster when this stuff was made. Still a sore subject though, but if I didn’t bring up the similiarties I wouldn’t be doing my job as a critic and this was likely thought up long before JK outed herself as well...

No no the great mighty poo respects all peoples.. and wants to take their heads and ram it up his butt. He’s an equal opportunity butt rammer. 

Anyways this is the frog equivlent of chess flipfrog, and just like with Wizard chess, our heroes end up as the pieces minus marcy.. and in a nice twist on that scene, Anne ends up on the other side. Marcy is a grandmaster at it though so after an hour or so of play she almost wins.. only for the king equilvent to refuse to be taken and the automatic board she’s up against to send Anne against hop pop, and with our heroes magically restrained and given stone weapons, this can’t end well. Eventually though Anne’s forced to hit HOp Pop multiple times and while he says “well isn’t this what you wanted”, she says no.. she didn’t want to phsyically hurt him it’s just complicated. So we get one heck of an emotioinal scene as Hop Pop just wants to help and wants this to stop and dosen’t knoow how to fix this which as someone who desperatlyt ries to fix most emotional situations right away this hit very hard.. and her response of needing time hit harder. The two while not reconciled, ar ecloser to it and Marcy realizes what she’s done getting so obessed with winning and forfits for thier benifit. Our heroes leave, seemingly having lost.. only to find glowing arrows to the crap hole, which turns out to be the pedistal. The temple wasn’t just an intellegence test but empathy.. and the temples are clearly built to specifically test each of the chosen three, our heroines, specifically. Marcy’s tested her intellegence.. but also her willingness to let go of cold clyincal thought to do the right thing. That earns her her gem recharged and a flash in her eyes and her gem starts pointing to the next. She needs time to triangulate and hop pop and anne are back on workable footing... though our heroes offer to take a break instead of going to the next temple. 

Back in Newtopia, Yuaan reports on the toads gathering.. but dosen’t get to mentioning sasha before Marcy’s letter interrupts and Andridas oddly and aburbly dimisses her.. and goes to talk to a watcher with a thousand eyes, his “master” who has plans to undo the prophcey and get their revenge. 

Final Thoughts: This was a damn fine episode that gave Marcy some much needed character development, and gave the reveals of last episode some more emotiional fallout.  It also had some really great jokes as always. Top notch stuf. 

Next Time: Marcy tries to win everyone over through science and we FINALLY get an episode with the Frog Robot apparently. Horay

Next on this Blog: We go into final space yo! It’s unexpected births, ho yay, and horrifying zombie gary’s galore! 

Until then if you liked this review, follow me for more, join my patreon, comission a review if you please and i’ll see you at the next rainbow. Play us out jeff... and I haven’t done THAT bit in a while but eh. This song was too perfect. 

[michelles-garden-of-evil]

Ian Martin’s Strange Paradise, Part II: The Top 5 Worst Things

Last week, I listed my top five favorite things about the first 44 episodes of Strange Paradise, when Ian Martin was headwriter and when the show had a very different feel to it than in the final four weeks of the Maljardin arc. But no creative work is perfect, and, despite my fondness for this show, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think that the writing for early Maljardin had several glaring flaws. Unlike Danny Horn, I don’t think that Ron Sproat was a better writer than Martin (actually, I consider Sproat the worst writer on SP), but that doesn’t mean that I don’t also feel that his writing needed some improvement. Note that this entry is specifically about the writing during this period, so things outside his creative control (e.g. the Conjure Man’s questionable casting) will be excluded from the list.

That said, here are my top five least favorite things about the writing in the first nine weeks of Strange Paradise:

5. Cheesy dialogue

More specifically, (1) bad jokes and (2) slang that was already outdated when these episodes originally aired in 1969. This one is #5 because, while these lines are cheesy, I can’t hate them because most of them make me laugh. Even my personal least favorite of Jacques’ jokes, the “pose” line from Episode 18, is kind of funny in an ironic, anti-humor sort of way, like the dad jokes that have become fashionable in recent years. While there are some jokes in this show that I find genuinely funny--Elizabeth’s Song of Solomon joke, for instance, or “the lady doth detest too much”--most others are the epitome of cornball. Sometimes you hear both in the same episode: Episode 21 is loaded with Devil jokes/puns that would be unforgivably corny if Colin Fox didn’t possess enough charisma to sell them, and yet the same episode also features a genuinely hilarious double entendre. The good jokes sneak up on you, sometimes amidst a hurricane of bad ones.

As for the slang, some comments that I’ve read mention that it was largely out of date even in the late sixties. My good friend Steve (with whom I often discuss SP) has told me that “you might not be aware of how campy that slang sounded in 1969 since you obviously did not live through the Sixties--this happened with a lot of TV shows during that period, the most egregious examples being the various ‘evil druggie Hippie’ episodes of DRAGNET.” Apparently Martin became infamous for using outdated slang later on when he wrote for CBS Radio Mystery Theater, putting lines like “I dig a man who’s far-out!” and “I think bein’ around here’s gonna be kicks!” in the mouths of some of his younger characters. Even if he had used up-to-date slang, it most likely would have still aged poorly (as slang typically does), especially for generations born after phrases like “the most” and “making the ___ scene” fell out of use.

4. Slow pace and excessive repetition

This one is also low on the list, because slow pace and repetition weren’t flaws when the show originally aired, but instead have aged poorly because of advances in technology that made them unnecessary. Before the advent of the programmable VCR, you had to be able to catch the program you wanted to watch on time or have someone you knew catch it on time and record it--which, in 1969, would have meant an audio-only tape recording. This meant that only the most fortunate and/or most loyal viewers would have been able to watch Strange Paradise every day, making it necessary to recap all the major events in subsequent episodes for those who missed out. This is also likely the reason why early SP (like most soaps of the time) has a relatively slow pace: if too much happens in one episode, you have to recap more and the people who missed the big episode are more disappointed.

Nowadays, with DVRs, video streaming, and DVD sets--not to mention certain legally-questionable means--it’s nearly impossible to miss an episode of your favorite show (with few exceptions), making extensive recap largely obsolete. Screenwriters can cram as many plot points as they want into one episode and no longer have to write five episodes of the other characters reacting to the news if they don’t want to.

Even so, just because the constant recap served a function at the time doesn’t mean I have to like it. It gets annoying hearing the same plot points reiterated episode after episode. Like I said while reviewing Episode 21, “if someone were to remake this show for Netflix or another streaming service, they could safely ignore about 75 percent of the original scripts and condense the remaining 25 percent quite a bit without omitting anything important.”

And don’t even get me started on the lampshading of absent cast members, like in Episode 9 when Jean Paul and Quito wasted two minutes searching for Raxl just to slow the plot down. It’s nothing compared to Ron Sproat’s “we must search for Quito” filler episode in Desmond Hall (Episode 78), but still, those scenes were pointless.

3. Extreme artistic license with certain historical/cultural details

Although Ian Martin did a surprising amount of research on certain subjects for Strange Paradise, there are some subjects where he either didn’t do enough research, or (more likely) made extensive use of artistic license. The first one is his portrayal of Jacques’ wife Huaco as an Inca princess despite their marriage occurring over a century after the fall of the Inca Empire. I discussed this all the way back in Part II of my review of the pilot, where I invented the theory of Jacques traveling back in time to marry her, but other possible explanations include Huaco being a 17th-century descendant of Inca royalty (as the Quechua people are still alive today), extreme artistic license, and/or critical research failure. I don’t know if we would have eventually gotten a good explanation if Martin had continued writing the series, but we would need a damn good one for the approximate equivalent of having a 21st-century character marry the Russian Grand Duchess Anastasia. I’m willing to suspend my disbelief and accept it considering that this is a fantasy series, but it still creates a lot of plot holes that need to be filled.[1]

Another example of artistic license about which I feel more ambivalent is the conflation of voodoo with the Aztec-inspired indigenous religion of Maljardin, which I’ve discussed before both in my Episode 23 review and Part I of this post series. I’m not sure if this is genius--religious syncretism is a real phenomenon throughout the Caribbean and Latin America, and some people today do syncretize the vodou Serpent God with Quetzalcoatl--or just an instance of Martin playing fast and loose with facts. I would like to think it’s the former, but it could just as easily be the latter (hence why I referenced it on both lists--I have mixed feelings about it).

2. Annoying inconsistencies

Does Raxl know that Jean Paul is possessed by Jacques Eloi des Mondes? Does Vangie? Why does Jacques’ portrait disappear in some episodes after he possesses Jean Paul, but not in others? All three of these things vary from episode to episode, and change annoyingly often as the plot demands. Steve and I have also discussed this subject in the past, and he believes that Martin used this device to make the story easier to follow; if that’s the case, it appears that he used Raxl and Vangie as audience surrogates, especially for new viewers or people who didn’t tune in every day. But surely there were other ways to do that without creating continuity errors? It may have served a function, but that doesn’t make it good writing. What Martin is essentially doing is filling and reopening the same plothole, episode after episode.

Regarding the portrait, I don’t know how much to blame Martin’s scripts for this inconsistency and how much to blame the directors, as I don’t have access to any SP scripts beyond the pilot script and the Vignettes. However, I’m going to assume that he’s at least partially to blame, because at least the pilot script mentions the disappearing portrait (which literally disappears in all three of the Paperback Library novels), Also, while none of the characters ever mention the portrait vanishing (unlike in the tie-in novels), some of his episodes have characters looking at it while Jacques is controlling Jean Paul and commenting on the uncanny resemblance. See also the diegesis tag for more discussion and analysis of the disappearing portrait.

1. Tim’s subplot

It should surprise none of my regular readers that Tim’s subplot is my #1 least favorite thing about the first nine weeks of Maljardin. I’ve already written an entire post about why I dislike this subplot, so I’ll keep my discussion of it here brief. Jean Paul saves the life of artist Tim Stanton when he hires him to paint Erica’s portrait, but then does nothing to make the commission easy for him--which is not a bad set-up for a plot in and of itself, but the execution is terrible. Tim chooses to use Holly as his model despite her barely resembling Erica, and Martin mostly uses their subsequent interactions to drive the old, tired, clichéd plot where two people who bicker and hate each other at first eventually fall in love (or at least he appears to be setting that up[2]). The payoff for the Holly portrait subplot finally occurs in Episode 33, but it’s underwhelming (not to mention barely recapped) and the already bland Tim quickly becomes a background character. In short, his subplot is a boring waste of time and should have either had more payoff or--preferably--been scrapped altogether.

That concludes my list of the worst things about Ian Martin’s Strange Paradise. Stay tuned for my review of Episode 45 within the next two weeks.

{<- Previous: The Top 5 Best Things }

Note

[1] Interestingly, there is a possible (if unlikely) historical explanation for Huaco’s sister Rahua having “skin as white as goat’s milk” and “hair like ripened wheat.” An early Spanish account of the Chachapoya people (aka Cloud People) of the Northern Andes describe them as “the whitest and most handsome of all the people that I have seen, and their wives were so beautiful that because of their gentleness, many of them deserved to be the Incas’ wives and to also be taken to the Sun Temple.” Assuming the Spanish account isn’t made up, this proves that reality is sometimes unrealistic.

[2] Thankfully, given the soap opera genre, it’s unlikely that Tim and Holly would have stayed together forever, even if they had eventually fallen in love during their painting-and-bickering sessions. Even so, that doesn’t make it a good subplot.

[theorynexus]

Maybe We Should Actually Finish This Page: 57, and Meat 31.

Yeeeaaahhh... that would have probably really screwed everyone over.  I trust Roxy with the task, somewhat, but she was grieving at the time, and John Egbert was also something of a flailing doof who had no control of his powers.

Way to be a downer, friend.  Also: Heh. Circling the drain pun. But yeeeaaahhh... he really should be a bit more pushy about that.  Love can make you stupid, sometimes. Also, poison, and bloodloss. 

For one, John is the Heir of Breath. He is essentially the one around whom freedom always flows, and is destined to flow. He gets antsy being cramped in one place too long, contrary to his stupidity trapping himself in his house as if he were purposefully lampshading the title of the comic for years.   (He’s sortof an idiot and wasn’t really thinking, then, in the same way that he hasn’t really been thinking all that much as he’s been staying with you.) More importantly:   No, it’s not perfect.  It could never be perfect without you (among many other reasons for it not to be so-- but that is the romantic notion to express, so I’m putting it into words).

Complicated results of the fact that he was essentially engineered by himself and P-Space for the sake of ensuring that his battles with Lord English (and the game[s] proceeding them) went into effect and preserved everything. More importantly, though, as the Breath player, he is also the one most in-tune with spiritual matters, and likely feels subconsciously that their Ultimate Reward was just not quite right, all things considered.  This isn’t the final destiny awaiting all of them, and it wasn’t to begin with, despite being the logical conclusion to their twisted 3 session, fated daisy chain.

Seer of Mind most likely sees the results of the other Choice:  Check. (Reminder: It continues to feel somewhat awkward that there was not a third option beyond Meat and Candy.   I guess that third option was actually Both. Which might be why both are actually [probably] relevant to the eventual flow of things, based on the impression I have of things.  ***shrugs***     )

HAH!

It is somewhat ironic that the Seer of Mind is having such difficulties making a decision.  My guess is that it is a result of the proximity to the Void object which has bored a hole in space-time and eaten nearly everything.

***continues to freak the bleep out like a king of weasels in the throws of an emotional overload***

Yes. Yes, he is.   That is a very dumb train of thought.    Dirk’s intercession into the narrative here is wonderful. That is really all there is to say on the matter.

(Quite possibly, yes.)

Obviously, she was supposed to cut through the tooth like a magical earth samurai, or something. Silly troll. :P Also: DARKNESS!   Hooray!~      ~~~ Terezi continues to be wonderfully beautiful and cute.

And this is incredibly cute. But probably not good for surgery. 

Yeeeaaaahhhh... neither is that, as he suggests. @w@ I do so enjoy this description, though~   It is very interesting to see both of their reactions.   Terezi is very good, jumping back into things almost immediately~

Yeah, he’d probably have struggled more to remove it if he’d known.  This is surprisingly romantic, though!    I didn’t know Hussie had this sort of writing in him, honestly~    (Makes me have a bad feeling.)

Maybe he wants to get her consent first?    Probably not.  ***shrugs*** That said:  I actually disagree with Alt!Calliope on this. That kind of contradiction and war between different parts of the self is inherent and necessary in beings with free will. It helps to make one’s decisions weightier, and to potentially make sure a decision is actually thought through properly, and thus properly willed, and not just done in reaction to the world and what is going on in it (at least in a direct sense).      Oh, and their questioning him like that is probably influencing him. May or may not be intentional.  Regardless, it makes them seem much more like the Calliope we first met, and I quite like to be able to see more similarities between them. <3

***raises an eyebrow at Calliope’s statement, there***    So they think that the Trickster Lollipop grants temporary True Divinity to the user?   An interesting thought. What is also quite interesting is this:  the association of Breath and Freedom, freedom from inhibitions here, and Breath with Spirit are all quite linked in interesting ways, in her expressed belief.   I find this both very interesting and somewhat perturbing, due to the clashing themes of carnal desire having free reign and spiritual freedom being a thing, generally.

Now slit his throat and listen to him bleed as you smell him die!   Oh, wait, that wouldn’t be romantic at all.

Realistically, this might lead to John bleeding to death, but honestly, “realistically” is something that’s impossible to be certain about, considering his godhood.    I am both glad that Alt!Calliope has the grace not to actually talk about the implied sex scene and somewhat disappointed that Andrew Hussie decided not to include it.  My heart is quite conflicted on the matter. On a semi-related and somewhat awkward note, I suppose I must say something that I had intended to earlier, but forgot to write out for some reason or another:   her statement of his blood smelling tasty reminds me of Karkat and Terezi’s supposed “moment,” during their session, and I’m somewhat surprised that, given she exclaimed it here, she did not actually do so when she was younger and probably more immature.   That is almost impressive.   I am not really certain how to feel about these matters. Sassacre would be able to properly categorize everything by the levels of hilarity involved, I’m sure.

[akallabeth-joie]

Episode 5

Well, here goes nothing. This week is hot chocolate with schnapps, for fortifying comfort.

*JVJ is on wanted posters. Because almost twenty years ago he stole 40 sous and no-showed his parole. Thank you, Officer “Lampshade” Rivette for mentioning the ill-defined discontent among the populace, but old bread crimes are definitely the best use of police resources.

*No larger issue? I mean, I was going to add 100 words for OOC (though the single-minded hunt for JVJ instead of doing any other work is basically in character for this Javert), but they actually went ‘JVJ is responsible for all revolutionary activity’ which is it’s own level of WTF. +500, because this just jumped the shark. Somehow.

*A tender moment with Madame T still caring for her daughters. I guess they aren’t in the Madellonettes if the girls are with her (are they all together in Saint-Lazare?)

*Weeks? Cholera doesn’t work like that, Enjolras.

*Also, you really don’t have the numbers for a serious rebellion. And, I’m taking this weak-sauce ‘strategy’ as evidence that the 1830 Revolution didn’t take place in this universe.

*I’m probably not supposed to be flashing to Holy Grail’s plague village, but that’s absolutely what this scene is reminding me of. Also, I’m disappointed in Patron-Minette’s jailbreak. I want Montparnasse bringing in an expert, ie, Gavroche, for wall-climbing shenanigans! +100

*Are there no leeches among you, O Parisian jail guards? 

*If you must have a side-part, Cosette, add a second one, and angle them to center for that V line which is actually fashionable. Also, please dress your hair already. +100 fashion, but I’m limiting this to 1/offense/episode.

*No, Eponine, Marius is a booby. He does not understand anything. I will give this Marius credit for doing some pontmercying.

*Javert is still on about JVJ. This is totally vindicating that one intrepid author who is responsible for half of this series’ AO3 tags being Javert slash.

*For a moment, I though this was the court of miracles, and Thenardier just decided he was in Notre Dame de Paris instead of Les Miserables. At least they’re setting up the attempted attack on the Rue Plument.

*Toussaint! I love her.

*Love notes on the bench. No strutting Theodule, but my expectations have been suitably lowered.

*THE KIDS SHOWED UP!!! GAVROCHE IS EVERYTHING I HOPED FOR!!! THEY DID THE BAKERY SCENE!!!

*Nice job hiding your weapons for the insurrection, boys. +100 

*Aw, Grantaire and Courfeyrac made a couple of friends. Is the red waistcoat a secret Bahorel reference?

*Random named worker guy is not Feuilly. Nor is he a guest appearance by Charles Jeanne. Why do I keep hoping? Anyway, congrats to Guy-Whose-Name-I-Didn’t-Catch for making an almost coherent argument in favor of revolution. It’s not entirely clear why our Named Students are involved, and they certainly aren’t coming across as leaders. +100 disappointment

*Grantaire looks so sad. Enjolras is earnest, but just not in the right way. This whole interaction is wrong for who these characters should be: advocates of education, heavily conversant in political theory, sympathetic to the working classes, veterans of ‘30, been preparing for 4 years at least, constantly making bad puns but very serious about their politics. [Remember how Courfeyrac moves from the Latin Quarter to the Marais in order to be well-placed for riots?]

*Apparently Marius moved in with Courf off-screen. No “I’ve come to sleep with you” peak pontmercying. (+100 because that was the scene we were all looking forward to). They sort of shoe-horned in the “Marius doesn’t hang out with us anymore” info, but there’s no barriere du Maine incident.

*Time out to elaborate on the last two points: Enjolras dismissing Grantaire for not being committed is a hard sell here because the rest of them are only just committing to it now. It’s not that R’s still messing around like it’s 1828 while everyone else is really getting down to business, and he’s already blown his chance to help. Enjolras’s strategy basically just seems to be “hope for reinforcement”, not “recruit heavily, coordinate with other groups, gather weapons, [get additional reinforcement as in 1830] and make the future we want to see”. And then E and R immediately reconcile?

*La Marseillaise. Andrew Davies knows another French song!

*The Royalist reaction. I mean, Gillenormand’s supposed to be retired from society, and Madame T’s salon is supposed to have died out, leaving him a relic of a bygone age, but apparently Paris is just full of guys wearing wigs likes it it’s 1788. They need to spell out that the ultras oppose the left, after all. +100 

*Those sleeves still look ridiculous without support. +100.

*Why is that vest laced all the way down the back? Just...does VJV has Hulk-powers that regularly require him to adjust the fit of his waistcoat through the upper shoulders? Back-lacing is used in the 1830s-1840s to achieve ideal fit through the waist, but I’ve never seen anything like this. +100

*This is not Patron Minette. No scouting? No one on guard? Half the numbers? These are rank amateurs. +100.

*Could someone of Cosette’s acquaintance actually talk to her like an adult? Also, I’m feeling a bit cheated that we aren’t getting Marius’s over-the-top-Romantic-reaction (no greater tyranny!), Cosette’s solution (you can also emigrate at the drop of a hat!), and Marius banging his head against a tree for hours. +100 where is the pontmercying we were promised.

*So, no one noticed Eponine’s screaming earlier, JVJ somehow did not overreact to a stranger busting into his house, and then he failed to recognize Eponine from the day he nearly got murdered. +300

*Gillenormand is... in character and this scene actually mostly goes the way it’s supposed to.

*Apparently the guys-who-are-not-our-Amis all hang out at Courf’s house when not playing backgammon in a-tavern-which-may-be-the-Corinthe-or-the-Musain. Of course, we can’t have Eponine instigating Marius’s presence at the barricade, because that’s too much agency and complication for a female character. +200 annoyed

*Enjolras is invoking Marius’s dead Napoleon-allied father? +100 because I don’t think the writers understand him at all.

*”We don’t need any romantic day-dreamers?” Well, I guess that’s were we lost the rest of the group. ALMOST ALL OF THESE GUYS ARE ROMANTIC FIGURES OR WRITTEN AS ROMANTICS THEMSELVES.  HUGO WAS A FRICKIN’ ROMANTIC! +100

*New headcanon: the missing amis are either chllin’ at St. Merry because Jeanne has his shit together better than Enjolras, or else they’re making their own Romantics-only barricade.

*”Provoke the army to attack”...that’s one way to read it. I guess. They were planning on a funeral becoming a riot leading to a revolution, but this phrasing comes across as simplistic and ill-conceived. Especially without any background context.

*Why is this Enjolras so exclusionary about who gets to die with him? Even if it’s leading up to an epic E/R reconciliation and death scene, this Enjolras is leading into the St. Crispin’s Day speech, not The View From A Barricade. +100

*So Cosette doesn’t know about the apartment in the Rue de L'Homme Arme? Or JVJ hasn’t been routinely switching addresses out of paranoia? +100

*And now they have Cosette bring up forwarding addresses instead of just writing her note to Marius. For complaining that she’s boring and inactive, they sure managed to strip away the agency and activity she does have. +100

*Ok, she does get to write the note, and Eponine intercepts it. Maybe this can still happen.

*Bonnets, Cosette. You have some. Wear them. +100

*So, the police are just chill with a bunch of civilians walking around with longarms? Ok.

*Seriously underwhelmed by this fight scene. Can we have drunk Bossuet yelling out the window to Courf instead? 

*Yeah, you should have started recruiting years ago, Enjolras. Also, up the quality of your speeches, ASAP. This whole dynamic is just wrong: Enjolras should be leading a bunch of already-dedicated people, not trying to whip up support on the fly.  Remember when he tries to send them home and they won’t go?

*Matelote makes an appearance. So, we are in the Corinthe?  No Hucheloup or Gibelote sightings, yet.

*The city’s rioting, and Javert’s still going on about JVJ. He doesn’t trust anyone else to do the job? He’s voluntarily spying instead of dutifully doing something that he’s terrible at (because dissembling is out of character for him)? +200

*Pere Mabeuf is here. Despite none of his relevant backstory being included.

*Can this just be the all-Gavroche show? He’s infinitely better than anything else that’s going on.

*JVJ physically restraining Cosette? “I hate you?”. ...Is it even possible to misunderstand their relationship dynamics this badly? +200

*Eponine does direct Marius to the barricades, but she’s not in disguise and Marius recognizes her. I wanted cross-dressing Eponine! +100

*Considering the great detail in which the Rue Chanvrerie barricade is described (the road intersections, height, omnibus, paving stones, Gavroche’s glass door) I’m going to be petty and observe that this isn’t an exact book match.

*What is Javert even doing? Why?!?! +100

*Grantaire should be passed out upstairs because he was upset by Enjolras not inviting him. Just in case anyone was trying to be authentic to a particular book and not, say, copy the popular musical based off of it.

*Mabeuf raises the flag. RIP, Pere Mabeuf and his dreams of indigo cultivation. Too bad we never got any backstory on him which might explain who is, how he came to be here, and why his death is so poignant. Or anything.

*Marius saves Gavroche! Marius saves the barricade by being an over-the-top despairing Romantic hero comparable to Werther! 

*Drawing out the powder scene actually makes it less tense. +100 awful pacing, but plus +300 for that yell.

*And then everyone reacts...with weird cheers and Enjolras scolding Marius? Where’s “Marius is now the spiritual leader of the barricade (for being a complete drama llama)?” +100 for ‘what is characterization or mood’

*Eponine’s death was actually handled pretty well--for all that she should have been cross-dressing, and “I really did love you” has a completely different tone from “I think I was a little bit in love with you”. 

*Hey, the blotter made an appearance! Too bad nothing about this JVJ makes it seem like he’d put himself in harm’s way to save a person he actively dislikes on behalf of his beloved daughter.

*Gavroche! Too bad JVJ is an ass here. Give Gavroche money for ice cream and tell him to stay safe, already! +200

*Idea: cut out all the boring OOC angry men, and just follow Gavroche around as he helps children, lives in an elephant, sings at everyone, breaks streetlights, and pilfers random stuff for building barricades. Maybe include the “attack on the Royal Printworks”?

Overall, I found this episode less infuriating, though it’s hard to say whether that’s because of lower expectations or the odd way they muddled canonical activity with OOC speech and motivations.

[dimples-of-discontent]

13x16 thoughts (from Paleyfest)

(I may need to go back and refine later but these are my post-Paleyfest notes on 13x16.)

I loved this episode!! It was a ton of fun. It was slapstick and silly but did some heavy lifting too. Honestly, it worked the way a lot of our favorite crack episodes did and alluded to at least one of them explicitly (”Changing Channels,” obvs, and I think there may have been more subtle references to others).

I’m too tired to do a full meta analysis but here’s a kind of bullet recap, first of the most plot-based elements:

The plot turns on the fact that the Scooby Doo world, suddenly, ends up functioning like the world Sam and Dean inhabit. The boys enter the cartoon assuming all usual cartoon rules would apply (and Dean’s ready to have a rollicking good time with them) only to discover that the first murder in the haunted house is real. Ghosts are real. Death is real. Sam wants to tell the Scooby gang about it from the get-go but Dean wants to protect them and preserve their innocence.

It’s already obviously about childhood, and losing it, but Dean makes it explicit by talking about how much he loved Scooby Doo because no matter where their dad had dragged them it would always be on. They were his friends and constant companions. He is really being thrown into the best part of his childhood….and you can see why it would be the best because it’s probably his fantasy and deepest wish that the ghosts, demons, etc. of the world he inhabits would turn out just to be bad guys in masks, death wouldn’t be real, etc. It’s Dean safe place in childhood because it takes his actual life (ghost hunting) and makes it safe and even fun. Dean wants to keep his safe place safe and is shocked and horrified when the rules of his universe invade.

It’s Sam who wants to tell them the truth about monsters from the word “go” even before it’s been revealed that death can come to Scooby Doo. (Dean laments, heartbreakingly, that it doesn’t matter if he dies…what’s important is that they make sure Scooby doesn’t die because clearly he’s such an innocent creature.) Sam, who did not have his childhood cut as abruptly short as Dean and who did not have to seek solace in a cartoon world because Dean helped him make a safe space in the real world, doesn’t see the point of lying about ghosts being real. Dean, who worked to keep Sam safe from this knowledge for YEARS of his own stunted childhood by acting as a parent, does want to keep the gang in the dark because he wants them to retain their innocence. It’s a huge lampshade to the different experiences Sam and Dean had as children and as sons.

They do eventually have to tell the Scooby gang and, wonderfully, it induces an existential crisis in them. Watching Daphne question the existence of God based on what she has inferred about the afterlife is amazing. It is not what I expected. Dean brings them back from the brink by reminding them of all the good work they had done before.

I’m going to tell the ending now and then double back to some other observations: the phantom they are chasing is the ghost of a small boy who is being manipulated, through a cursed object (a pocket knife given to him by his beloved father before he died), by an unscrupulous man (the real estate agent who we met in the beginning) who unleashes the boy’s anger on whoever he chooses for his own purpose…to scare people off of property he wants to buy. This way, the villain of a typical Scooby episode actually becomes the villain of this SPN episode…the evil real estate developer.

Before heading back to their world, where they burn the pocket knife and free the ghost, Dean convinces Sam and Cas to lie to the Scooby gang and tell them that they were right initially–ghosts aren’t real. He goes so far as to stage the unmasking of the cartoon villain (the one from the original Scooby episode) and helps them to explanations involving wires, cornstarch blood, etc. Sam is grumpy about it but does it anyway. It’s crucial to Dean that they leave the Scooby gang as they found them and not saddle them with the world the Winchesters live in.

Let me just reiterate…the ghost that has been terrorizing them is frightened little boy. Who kept a pocket knife (much like the one we see being used to carve the Winchester’s initials into the Impala) as a token of his dead father. His father is symbolized and memorialized by a weapon. The weapon is the object the little boy is tied to and that another man–a bad man–can use to manipulate him into hurting others because “I just get so angry sometimes.” To be free, the knife (weapon, father’s legacy) has to be burned. There are closeups on a very sad Dean while this happens (some sad Sam and Cas too).

It is blindingly obvious that the little boy, who is wreaking havoc on the cartoon safe space of his childhood, represents Dean. To stop the destruction Dean has to let something go (he starts the episode referencing Elsa and EXPLICITLY SAYING THIS LINE I CAN’T EVEN). Something that is keeping him angry. Something that is tied to his father. Something that can be used to manipulate him, employed as a weapon to hurt other innocent people (Mark of Cain/Demon Dean plot lines). Dean is full of anger and of self-loathing and it’s coming from the same source. That source is toxic masculinity. Let it go, Dean. Let it go.

Is it also tied to issues of sexuality? I think so. I’ll reflect a little bit below, but I wanted to do the whole plot-based analysis first.

And now the less plot-based stuff:

Ok, so can the ghost represent repressed sexuality/a different form of masculinity? SO MUCH YES. Point one: Cas is the only one who stops to take a look at the ghost and is thisclose to seeing through it’s big ol’scary disguise and finding a vulnerable child. He stops and squints at it, Cas-style, and says “I’ve never seen a ghost wear such a ridiculous costume. Unless…” and then he reaches out to it, starting to push aside the veil only to be pulled away. Now if that isn’t metaphorically precisely what Cas did, and does, for Dean and his performing facade I will buy a hat so that I can eat it.

Point two, there is a scene where the ghost is chasing everyone through a series of doors on either side of a hallway (you know the scene…they run across the hallway, doors open and shut on either side, feet flying everywhere). They successfully shut the ghost in a closet with iron chains, though it’s close to breaking out. Daphne presses her body up against the door to hold it. Dean checks her out very obviously in a way that is both superfluous to and inconsistent with the plot. This means that the silhouette of a conventionally sexy woman is QUITE LITERALLY holding the closet door closed on the ghost. Metaphorically, it shows how Dean is able to use his attraction to conventionally sexy women to hold back what’s haunting him…attraction to men, ideas about a certain type of masculinity. Does it work? BIG FAT NO. The ghost breaks out anyway. (<Puts on professor cap> Have you guys read “The Beast in the Closet”? It’s by Eve Kosofsky Sedgwick and is about “intense male homosocial desire as at once the most compulsory and the most prohibited of social bonds.” It’s about Henry James’s work but I think you would all dig it. <Takes off professor cap.>)

I wanted to start with that because I can tell that people are going to be very upset about Dean’s excessive flirtation with/pursuit of Daphne. And, yeah, I almost injured my eyes by rolling them so hard at some of the things he says. BUT THAT’S THE POINT. What he’s saying is a child’s idea of how a grown man would act with a woman he likes. And it bears a great deal of similarity to how Dean does act sometimes. We call it performing!Dean and wonder to what extent Dean is conscious of his performing. Given this episode I’d say..maybe .not that conscious? I feel like the overstated heterosexual dudebroness was done specifically to give us an over-exaggerated literal cartoon version of heterosexual Dean to compare to regular Dean so that anyone who doesn’t know Dean performs in his own life will have a lens through which to see it.

Also, Daphne is his childhood crush. OF COURSE he’s going to act like a moron around her. If I encountered [insert childhood TV crush here…for me it was Kevin from “The Wonder Years” for whatever reason] I’d act dumb as fuck! But you have to remember that she represents innocence for him…it’s established that all the Scoobies do (heh - puns!). Even if he’s kissing her hand or putting an arm around her or whatever there is no danger there, just like there’s no danger in the ghosts. Sexuality to Dean isn’t scary in Scooby Doo because it’s simple: it’s just a girl he likes. Except, just like how the ghosts are also dangerous, the love plot isn’t going to be that simple or that straightforward (heh - straight). You see where I’m going. Dean would rather be in a universe ghosts weren’t real because it’s safer and easier and kind of a fantasy land but they ARE real and he will have to deal with them; Dean would also rather be in a world where he was a suave, irresistible ladies’ man because it’s safer and easier and a kind of fantasy….but he’s not. Jensen even said so in his interview. Granted, Jensen’s comment may have just meant that Dean’s not suave like he thinks. But the actual episode draws a parallel that’s pretty damn clear.

Another reason to not worry: Daphne is zero interest in Dean at all. She has negative interest in Dean. Her lack of interest in Dean has created a void that is sucking all the air out of the room. She may not even know that Dean is hitting on her. She is so focused on Fred that no one else exists for her as a romantic interest. They are so obviously a pair, even though they are never shown to be together as a couple explicitly.<Stares directly into the camera like I’m on The Office.> Can Dean not see that? Is he blind? Well, he does see it, but he thinks Daphne is “settling” for Fred who represents a kind of masculinity that makes him uncomfortable (more in a sec). In point of fact, no one is romantically interested in Dean in this episode…unlike Sam who gets a lot of appreciation (and an eventual kiss) from Velma.

As for Fred, Dean begins by really hating him (so much that Sam remarks on it) and when pressed about why he attributes it to Fred’s self-confidence despite things like his “stupid ascot.” Dean comes to like and admire Fred and, ultimately, have the confidence to wear an ascot himself BECAUSE HE LIKES IT. It didn’t make Fred less of a man. It doesn’t make Dean less of a man to wear it with his plaid shirt. Fred helps Dean along the way to some self-acceptance. It’s nice. Fred is there to serve as a contrast to Dean’s overblown notions of what is “masculine” and offer another form of masculinity that is, manifestly, still appealing to the ladies.

Now, remember the Scooby Doo universe doesn’t have sex in it. It’s a cartoon. And they bend those rules only the tiniest bit here. All of Dean’s advances and even his jokes are PG. That innocence on the part of the Scoobies is played for laughs, Daphne remarking that Dean is silly for not knowing that “boys and girls don’t sleep in the same room” for example, but it’s also integral to the plot. (There are some other jokes too and, for a glorious second, I thought that they were legitimately going to reveal that Daphne and Velma were a thing but sadly not.) No one would want to ruin the Scooby universe by telling them about sex…not even Dean. Again, it contains a child’s conception of relationships.

I’m imagining some people will also be upset about how the episode treats Cas. I was especially stung that, right at the outset, Dean says flat-out that “Cas is basically a talking dog.” I made a noise of indignation that made people look at me. BUT let’s also remember how much Dean loves that talking dog. He’d die for him. He wants to protect him at any cost. He doesn’t want to spoil his innocence. So, yeah, that’s not a nice thing to say but it’s also not the whole story. Cas is grouped with Scooby and Shaggy the whole time and he bonds with them, SMILING (ALERT ALERT CARTOON CASTIEL KNOWS HOW TO SMILE) AND LAUGHING when he has to leave. He thanks them for showing him the importance of humor even in dangerous times. I think it’s a good lesson for Cas and his real affection for them reminds me of what a soft character he is inside, wanting to get a cat or save monkeys or keep bees. That’s been missing from Cas lately (even though I do LOVE bamf!Cas) so maybe this will help him recall it.

I want to say again that Cas is the one who can see through the ghost and its “ridiculous costume.”

Interestingly, both his entrances (his first appearance after Fred and Dean take off to drag race; when he reunites with the boys in the haunted house) frame him as a scary villain. The first is from behind and you just see the coat billowing out (though this did remind me of the girl running the drag race in “Grease” which…lol); the second he’s silhouetted in a window, approaching it in the rain, and is then covered with a sheet before he’s “unmasked” by Dean and discovered to be a friend. This is…pretty much Castiel’s character progression always. Looks like a threat but is discovered not to be.

Once they get back to their regular world Dean makes a remark about how that was the most fun he’s ever had “including that time with the Cartwright twins.” Cas studies him and asks “What did you do with the Cartwright twins?”. There’s a long beat in which Dean looks shifty and grins and shakes his head and turns away. Sam says “I don’t think I want to know.” Cas says nothing. Cas does want to know. This is new and part of a general progression that @amwritingmeta wrote a great analysis of where Cas is becoming able to think something like Forget that sacred oath…I must know what Dean did with those twins.

There was probably more, you guys, but it’s super late for my poor body clock. Please feel free to pass this on to anyone you think would like it but bear in mind that a) there are MASSIVE SPOILERS, b) this is just my interpretation of the episode, and c) I only saw it live once so my details may be wrong.

I thought this as a fantastic episode the more I think about it and I’m SO EXCITED to hear your thoughts!! <3

[jinjojess]

Can you say what you think of each Exile Election character and the impression they left on you?

Sure, that sounds like fun.

Cut for length.

Ichijou Kaname

Kaname’s alright. I don’t love him but I don’t hate him either. His design is kinda dumb with the white hair, but I also kind of like that it’s just a touch of flair in an otherwise sort of normal uniform attire. The headphones are cool too and I really like that they actually have a story purpose and aren’t just decoration.

Personality-wise, so far Kaname’s very white-bread VN protag material, though the being able to see lies as a result of his synesthesia is kind of interesting. I hate how he talks most of the time because it’s so stereotypically anime douche-style, but I do like that he doesn’t spend all of his internal monologue thinking about how he needs to protect Ichika or anything. Plus if he’s filled with murderous revenge rage, that’s always a plus for me.

He’s flawed, is what I’m saying, which is really nice.

Houshi Ichika

I just cannot even with this design. What the fuck. Like I mentioned in my LP, she ticks so many boxes on the trope-o-meter that she just about breaks it: childhood friend/probable love interest; stupid pun name; love of sweet food (strawberries in this case, also relating back to dumb pun name); dog collar; chain; dog collar; thigh belt; ribbon; DOG COLLAR; school uniform no school would ever assign; etc.

However, despite her constant “I’ll do whatever you say, Kaname” thing, she actually seems semi-reasonable? I did like the part where she physically held Kaname’s face in place so he couldn’t see Misa get eaten because it could either mean that she’s a good friend concerned about his emotional state, or she knows that something else is going on here and wants to keep his attention focused elsewhere.

Fingers crossed for crazy mastermind-type but not of the yandere variety.

Ichijou Misa

Misa’s okay. She’s a stereotypical anime kid sister. Served her role in the story so far just fine I guess. May or may not be Noori. Makes me appreciate how dynamic Komaru is in comparison.

My only thing with her is that the game’s website claims she’s 13, but she doesn’t act 13, she acts like she’s 6. This is a common problem a lot of fiction has when people are not used to being around actual kids and pre-teens–this is what made later seasons of Buffy after Dawn was introduced so obnoxious.

Official site also calls her a moodmaker which in VN lingo is never a good sign.

Noori

Totally Not Misa You Guys. Man I really hope they subvert that…

What’s kind of interesting about Noori is that the game is treating her amnesia as the serious condition it would be in real life. Like there are drawbacks and side effects to it like not knowing how to speak or process what’s going on around her. Makes the situation less tropey and moe and more realistic and sad, so I appreciate that.

Since Alice already lampshaded the Imouto Route thing, I’m hoping we get to avoid that as well and instead Noori will be like…the personification of Kaname’s pathological desire to protect his sister and infantilize her rather than recognize that she was an individual.

(My hopes are not super high about that though.)

Himeno Miori

Textbook shy girl with glasses trope so far. It is a little interesting how her brother and Michimune sort of try to override her opinions all the time and we get to see her fighting back for once in the first(?) election in the flashback. She seems poised to get a character arc revolving around breaking free of her trio and being her own person.

Since Miori is only two years older than Misa and yet is recognized as acting more as a real person and not as a toddler, maybe the game could be setting up a clever parallel between how Michimune and Yuuri try to babify Miori and how Kaname never wanted to admit that his sister was growing up?

Hush, let me construct a more layered and nuanced story for myself to enjoy okay?

Himeno Yuuri

Shouta character extraordinaire. Yuuri hasn’t really done much so far so I don’t have much of an opinion on him yet. I do think it’s weird that Kaname recognizes him as a boy in the dark square just after a massacre but then gets confused in the relatively calm setting of the observatory under actual lighting.

Again, only one year older than Misa, yet acts completely different. Does ascending to chuuni suddenly make people rapidly mature mentally in this universe?

Also, is he wearing garters under his knees to hold up his socks? Watch yourself, boy. You’re edging in on Ichika’s dumb design territory.

Isurugi Michimune

I don’t know why, but I just really like Michimune’s design. Perhaps it’s the relative simplicity of it, or the fact that I just happen to like navy and orange as a color combo, who knows.

I don’t have much of an issue with Michimune so far–I like that he’s kind of hot headed but trying not to be. Like he’s easily goaded into starting to go for Alice just by Izuki calling him a pansy, despite that he knows deep down it’s a bad idea.

Basically he’s also clearly flawed and I like that. He’s a character dealing with an internal struggle–trying to temper is own natural inclinations for the sake of his friends. According to the website he’s best friends with Yuuri and wants to protect both him and his big sister Miori, which is a kind of interesting parallel with Kaname that I hope goes somewhere interesting.

Ayara Izuki

I love this guy. I just…look at him. Fucking look at him. Look at his blue hair. Look at his neon pink hoodie. Look at his skull spider tattoo. Look at his highlighter yellow t-shirt. Look at his 90s hi-tops and his edgelord piercings. Look at his black neck bandanna. Look at how he wears a pair of handcuffs as a bracelet. LOOK AT HOW HIS HOODIE HAS THE SAME DESIGN AS HIS TATTOO. 

This character’s design is a fucking train wreck, but in an entirely different way than Ichika. Like the game both kind of does and doesn’t seem to be taking the character designs seriously (Alice does make a quip about Ichika’s chain) but like…oh my god. This is just so fucking wonderful. It’s like a kaleidoscope that’s been sharpened into a butter knife.

Anyway, Izuki is your standard combative bad boy archetype. He’s 20 and jobless, according to the website. Nothing TOO interesting so far but I just love his stupid design so damn much that I want him to hang around for awhile (and ideally subvert the obvious assumption that he killed someone in the past, but hey).

Ninchouji Issei

So if Ichika is here to bait in thirsty otaku dudes, Issei is a little something for the ladies. His design is basically “Togami, but a chef” and his personality is…well, basically it’s kind of just “Togami, but a chef and without the really obvious disdain for everyone”. What I mean by that is that he’s the character who seems almost intrigued by the premise of this game and has a bit of a haughty, I-know-more-than-you-fools vibe going on.

That might be because he’s 25 and a chef and he’s stuck in this theme park with a bunch of kids, but who knows.

Isumi Hakushuu

I am still not over the fact that his first name sounds so close to the Japanese word for “applause” or the fact that his design is best described as “preppy Amami” (I can picture Amami going undercover as Hakushuu and Avril Lavigne singing “Complicated” as a result). He’s 20, he’s in college, he’s apparently the twins’ neighbor in their, I assume, gated community with high HOA fees.

So far he seems like he’ll be the calm, smart character, possibly betray everyone later on in the story. Or like maybe he’ll seem like he’s really in the game to win but then later he and Kaname become bros or something.

Personally I’m about as meh about him as I was about Amami.

Tadenomiya Aasha

One half of this VN’s twin set (the older one iirc?). Seems like Aasha is more interested in Western Gothic fashion, and she wears a black rose-shaped patch over her left eye, perhaps as a fashion statement or perhaps because she and Kaasha share an eye or something I dunno.

God this design. Half blue/half green hair, the handle to her parasol being shaped like a gun, the headgear…like what is that? Is she some kind of maid queen? 

Anyway, the twins so far are both overly formal, seems haughty and antagonistic, and obsessed with Hakushuu for some reason I assume will never be adequately explained.

Also of note is that both twins are the same age as Misa, and the website says that they’re very advanced for their age. No, game, they’re not really. They act like typical chuunibyou mofos. They are being pretentious and embarrassing and act like they know everything, and I have encountered many 13-year-olds who are just like that.

Tadenomiya Kaasha

Other half of this game’s VN twin set (I think the younger one). This one comes in Japanese flavor, with the hakama and sword handle to her hikasa and white…what kind of flower is that? Anyway, a white flower over her right eye because in my mind the twins share an eye between them that gives them the ability to see other people’s abilities and that’s how they find out about Kaname’s lie-seeing thing and sorry. Trying to keep myself entertained.

Anyway, Kaasha so far has pretty much the same personality as Aasha. I really hope they both team up to mess people up rather than fight each other for Hakushuu’s attention, but if I’m being honest I already know that’s where we’re headed.

*sigh*

Yurizono Shihori

We’re still troping it up but we’ve now hit the trope I personally like–resting bitch face. Shihori don’t give a fuck about what’s going on here. She doesn’t have time to wear a bra, to emote, or give one single shit about the situation. She’s also strangely absent in the flashback but I don’t know what that means yet. Possibly that she will be a fake-out mastermind candidate later on in the game?

Design-wise I’m not sure how I feel about the boots or the fishnets, but other than that it’s fine. Pretty simple and more to my taste than the complicated stuff. Love the Kingdom Hearts-inspired design on her shirt too. Also her last name is literally just “lily garden” I mean come on. This hole was made for me.

Shihori is apparently 21 and a college student, hence her apathy about life probably. Also according to the website she has poor eyesight and carries around glasses but doesn’t wear them. See, that’s the kind of small personal detail that makes a character likable. That’s like a DR character trait.

Alice

Alice is my actual fave so far. She’s not TOO close to Monokuma, but there’s just enough resonance to make her fun. Alice is the only one who seems to be lampshading these dumb design choices or stock personality traits too, which I appreciate immensely.

As for her design, I like it. There’s that one weird ¾ sprite that looks kind of odd, but other than that she’s really cute and otherworldly. Like she’s clearly robotic but also clearly a rabbit which fits with the Wonderland theme, and she’s got the cute voice that’s really expressive (and a nice change of pace from the human characters, who for the most part are all pretty monotone so far…especially Kaname).

So yeah. There’s my thoughts so far on the Exile Election cast. I suppose I can update as I continue to play.

[rantsaboutponies]

All Bottled Up

In this episode: Feel really bad for Starlight (which seems to be the theme for every single episode with Starlight in it lately)!

Also, your name. is still REALLY good! I had to go to a different theater this time, but it was worth it! (Plus, the seats were better.) Go see it if you haven’t already!

Trixie is kind of amusing in this opening. Both the fake adulation and her pretzel idea were actually pretty funny. (But you really didn’t need to explain the “teacup poodle”; the visual pun was enough.)

I’m liking this idea of getting rid of all the Mane Six and just watching the characters that we actually like have adventures.

“How about something not living?” Oh, don’t worry, Starlight; he won’t be.

Okay, seriously, did all TV writers get the same memo lately? This marks the third series I’ve seen this season that has done an escape-room-related plot.

Trixie forgot Rule #96: Aim!

Do you think the writers are making the Mane Six more obnoxious on purpose? It’s not just Pinkie Pie anymore...

When her anger escapes, Starlight should be thinking, “Well, it’d be bad if I beat the shit out of Trixie, but if somepony else does it...”

Um...maybe you guys should actually escape the room before singing a song about successfully escaping the room? And boy, I know they lampshaded it earlier, but this song is really forced. And you reused the same sequence of animation for both choruses! That’s just lazy!

Good thing Trixie wasn’t thinking about her upcoming proctology exam.

Episode score: Tie.

Season score (W-L-T): 0-0-2. I, too, share Starlight’s general feeling of being done with this bullshit.

[pafsins2]

Everything RIGHT With Summer Belongs to You!

1.While a bit simple compared to other specials, I rather like this very short intro. I don't know, there's something charming about it.

2.A simple and nice set up for the Candace plot.

3.I JUMP THEREFORE I AM

4.I LOVE  the You're Watching Television Gag. If only because Disney Channel was really bad with this kind of thing at the time.

5.The Big Idea is genius here. The idea to go around world in one day is an idea that has a lot of possibilities for comedy and drama, and of course this special takes full advantage through many ways we'll get into.

6.I DANGLE THEREFORE I AM

7.”By busting the boys, I bust myself” Deep. Jokes aside, she's got a point.

8.”I'm also packing this book of puns” Nice.

9.Heh, Stacy's clearly been through this before.

10.I notice the animation is REALLY good in the first Act of this episode. Especially in this backyard scene. There's extra shading and lighting on the characters, it's very noticeable with Buford while he's going on. Slightly clashes with the rest of the special but it still looks great.

11.”It's a name, followed by a big number!”

12.Here's our set for Phineas' conflict. This whole plot tests his world view, and Buford's bet very nicely sets this up. Even if they have to lampshade the fact that he's seen them do the impossible, he's clearly trying to see if he has his limits.

13.This cutaway is funny and adorable.

14.Clay Akien and Chaka Kahn are a win, as this really good song. A nice example of this kind of song while lightly spoofing it.

15.Heh, Chaka gets to say Where's Perry.

16.”Coincidence? ...A Hundred Percent Yes!”

17.Candace's plot is rather interesting. At this point, people weren't quite sure if they were flat out a couple or not and this episode has Candace wonder that as well. Good further set up for her arc.

18.Vanessa/Doof's arc is also great. Vanessa understandably doesn't want him to put “work” over her and like everything else, it's nicely set up and developed.

19.And Doof isn't flat out neglecting her, he thinks Vanessa wants in on evil as we see her. So  they don't go full on “Dumbass dad”.

20.Phineas is on a soap box, nice.

21.Besides the concept of going around the world being good in general, the other plot lines tie into it really well. Candace wants to see Jeremy in Paris, they pick up Vanessa in Tokyo, and Isabella wants to be all romantic in Paris. Everything is tied together neatly so it all flows well.

22.Clay and Chaka being forced to clean is funny.

23.Doof's plan is rather evil/smart by Doof standards.

24.This was the first time they said  OWCA's name in canon and it is glorious.

25.This song is incredibly odd but also incredibly fun. Fun Fact: They came up with the lyrics by putting it facts about Japan through layers of Google Translate, just like those YouTube videos you see.

26.”Basically I'm 35 percent metal”

27.Phineas and the rest of the kids meet Vanessa for the first, plus the Candace/Vanessa friendship really started here.

28.The Klimpaloon is a win.

29.Team Doofenshmirtz is funny/

30.”So Candace, what is Ferb short of?” “...I don't know” Nice. Oslo, the irony of her being the one to reveal it in AYA is nice.

31.Arguably the  most pointless song, but it's also my 2nd favorite. Love the melody and style to it.

32.Sabu himself is fun for the short screentime he has and his rubber band ball moves the plot forward.

33.Sad Klimpaloon is funny

34.Love Handel is always a win.

35.Bujeet kiss tease complete with lady and the tramp reference.

36.”Uh Yeah....rented”

37.The Paris section is where everything gets more complex, starting with Candace. She starts to see that Jeremy does have a life outside of her, and feels guilty for being so creepily obsessed with him. A pretty bit especially with the music.

38.Oh boy, let's talk about Isabella. First off, City of Love is great. It's a great sad tune with good use of French and even some good jokes.

39.People have been split on this part, with some chastising Phineas for being obliviosu or Isabella for not realizing that getting home is a tad more important. They are both right, as that's where the brilliance of this plot comes in. I'll have more to say later, but for now this sets up Isabella's side brilliantly.

40. Oh and yes, Alsyon Stoner is great here.

41.”Hey you stop letting my balloons go!”

42.Buford speaking French is great, and gets explained later on.

43.”Sometimes if you love somebody, you have to meet them halfway” This is the other central theme of the episode besides the other obvious one. This of course reflects the Doof plot but it plays into all the others extremely well, as we'll see.

44.The way it plays into Vanessa's plot is oblivious, as she decide to take a bit of an interest in his work while he of course has to set aside work more often. Meeting haffway.

45.Monobrow.

46.A nice little tragic moment for Ferb. Interesting how this was pretty much the end of the Ferbnesa stuff. IT WAS THE END I WILL NOT HEAR OTHERWISE.

47.Isabella's head exploding gets me every time.

48.”That's good because I was thinking of getting a cowboy hat”

49.”Summer belongs to you” Title Drop!

50.This is another great scene, with them encouraging Candace to believe in herself. I can't quite do it justice here but it's awesome.

51.Nice continuity too.

52.And we follow up one great scene with another. First off, Candace meets Jeremy halfway by deciding to perhaps back off from the obsession while he does so by officially becoming her  boyfriend and showing up later.

53.And in general it's extremely sweet.

54.Good use of Voltaire, Buford.

55.Follow of the Sun isn't quite as good as the other songs here, but it's nice and fits well here.

56.”Everything reminds you of Karen Johnson” “...I hate being a sailor”

57.”That was our worst landing yet” Only Phineas could say that happily.

58.This is my favorite scene, it's where the Phineas plot really comes together. First we him slowly running out of optimism, so matter how hard he tries to fix things.

59.Hey, OWCA finally tries to arrest Doof!

60.Vanessa saving Doof and showing some evil is awesome.

”Look, a sponge and starfish! There's gotta be something we can do make out of this! Oh no, that's ridiculous” … +2

63.”We...we can't” This scene is beyond heartbreaking. It's so sad to see Phineas flat out give, and the pacing, plus Vincent Martella, really sell it.

And the Isabella plot comes full circle. She finally has a chance to sit down with Phineas, but it's right at his lowest moment. This is where her side of meeting halfway comes in. She sees that getting home is at the moment, more important for Phineas. She has a chance but would rather get him out of this, knowing she'll have another chance some other time which she get!

See, that's what  I mean by most sides being right. They show both sides, and use it to explore this beautifully. You know, + 2 again!

66.”That's not the Phineas Flynn I fell...into this situation with”

67.”We got about, I'd say 11 minutes/' Nice.

68.”We go have this rubber band, made with super special density” Again, Nice.

69.This whole bit is nice, with Phineas coming up with a crazy but smart way to get them off the island.

70.Remember back in Swiss Family Phineas, when Candace suggested using a slingshot to get off that island? Epic Foreshadowing is a win!

71.”I finally ate a bug!”

72.The Substitute teacher gag is great.

73.And now Buford starts to get sucked into Phineas' goal. Nice.

74.Buford giving everyone their bikes back to help them is awesome.

75.'GET ON THE TRIKE!” All jokes about the trend this started aside, this is really awesome in so many ways.

76.I BELEIVE

77.Exciting climax with extremely satisfying payoff!

78.See, Isbella gets a moment with Phineas at the right time,  like I said!

79.While I'm not on the “best song ever” train, this finale song is still pretty excellent. It's very upbeat, fun and is a perfect ending to the special capping off everything very nicely, mostly with Phineas, Isabella and Candace.

80.Candace's verse is best due to the sweet lyrics that have her saying how awesome her brothers are.

81.Also, slight sweet moment with her and Ferb!

82.This song also shows the more obvious main theme: Make the most of every day. The show in general pushes this but especially this episode. In general this episode does an excellent job of having two major themes are fit together perfectly so thus an extra win.

84.And in the middle of this, Candace and Jeremy finally get together with a kiss. Awesome!

84.And awe end this emotionally heavy special with a funny gag.

85.Of course, gotta win the use of the great song in the credits.

86.To Recap, we have multiple equally excellent characters arcs, tied together with the main concept, all of which tie into two major themes really well, with plenty of emotional  moments, development,, and hilarious gags. Yeah, this is why this is to me the best episode objectivitly, even with all the specials that came after it. Which is very impressive!

87.In airing order, the next episode was Nerds of a Feather. Best Double Feature ever!

88.In production order, the episode right before this was Candace Gets Buted. Can say Best Apology Letter Ever?

EPISODE WIN TALLY: 88

REWARD: Finally eat a bug.

Yes, this had more wins than sins.(The past had more as well). I I admit to trying to do that on prupse but in this case it happened naturally, moistly. Nice. Helps that there's a lot of good jokes and character moments. I put extra effort into this, to really show why it is possibly the BEST episode, even if NOAF is my favorite. This another one I talk a lot about, so hopefully this is a good finale to my discussion of it.

I do have other ideas for win post and such but I  had only so much room. And speaking of finales, tune in tomorrow we finally tackle the official series finale. Yep, it's gonna be....fun. See you all then.

[whelvenwings]

(1/3) Geraldine, my darling! I do apologize for the tardiness of my response, this week has been particularly trying! Don't feel bad about not having a house spouse, my dear, they are more trouble than they're worth sometimes.You're much better off with just yourself to rely upon. Also, I will have you know, that if I planned to stay with a wife forever, I would hope she she's mild mannered. I wouldn't want to end up with fight wife, after all, as opposed to the right wife. What about you?

(2/3) Unfortunately, I haven't had the pleasure of watching TWD, but I have been practicing with my crossbow. The tomatoes in the garden have been suffering a bit, but I'll get better! (Hopefully... I'd hate to have to downgrade my BLT's to just BL's) I am glad that your existential crisis left you feeling better about life, mine just usually make me tired lol. AND YES, HELLO I AM ACE AF! I'M GLAD WE CAN CONNECT ON THIS LEVEL OF NEAT. The ace life is pretty okay lol. I actually dont have

(3/3) a house spouse or any sort of significant other, that was part of my joke, so it can be a little lonely but eh, it's alright lol. I am enjoying all the ace jokes I can make, puns are my jam. I actually really do love the colors of the flag, I think its really pretty. AND HECK YEAH I AM ALWAYS READY TO TALK ABOUT ACE!CAS its a head canon I firmly believe in and support lol ALSO I haven't had to time to read the punk Cas fic yet but BOY I AM READY ILL PROBABLY COME FANGIRL ABOUT IT SOON

GERALDINE MY DEAR absence is but a means to make the heart grow fonder and I was ALREADY QUITE FOND so fear not. seriously I can be the slowest replier who ever loved you with all my heart, so don’t ever feel bad when your reply has more in common with a snail than a peregrine falcon, OK.

in all other areas I feel we should strive for peregrine falcon similarity, though.

HMMM I see what you’re saying about the fight wife/right wife issue, but I have to say, I am the kind of person to enjoy a nice spot of bickering. give me a topic and I will slightly disagree with you on it and we shall derive enormous fun from hashing out the details of this obscure issue. and it will be magnifico *kisses fingertips* so perhaps for me, a fight wife IS the right wife. PLOT TWIST.

I’m glad your tomatoes are feeling optimistic! if you say you are making a plain BL, it could easily be mistaken for a Big Lampshade or a Bizarre Limousine and you wouldn’t want anyone to make that kind of mistake.

I HEAR YOU ABOUT THE ACE LIFE THING. I was talking to another ace friend the other day about this, actually. how, like, even though I don’t necessarily want a sexual or even a romantic relationship with someone, there’s something I really like about the sharedness and settledness of couples. like how they’re a team. that’s cool. BUT being ace doesn’t preclude us from that kind of relationship because I have heard many stories of ace/aro people in loving relationships - and I have written a couple of fictional ones too, SO. loneliness won’t be forever, we can hope!

ACE!CAS IS SUCH A GREAT HEADCANON. IT IS SO GREAT. Cas anywhere on the ace spectrum is something I support with all my heart. demi!Cas. grey-ace!Cas. sex-repulsed ace!Cas. sex-positive ace!Cas. LIKE. LAY IT ALL ON ME. I LIKE IT. SO MUCH.

I hope your second cousin’s wedding went off without too many cries of arson, and you washed your socks successfully this Valentine’s Day (the traditional time for sock-washing, of course)

[mellowfilmmaker]

Steven Bomb 6 Leak Thoughts

Ok, so the 6th Steven Bomb leaked on the Cartoon Network website (I won’t make Mellow Frames for them until they are officially aired though). It was a week long story arc like the Week of Sardonyx, but way more satisfying. It looks like Season 4 is picking up again. Here are just some random thoughts about each episode. 

Steven’s Dream 

Looks like they’re going to follow up on the Palequin shown in Buddy’s Book.

Steven is having plot relevant dreams again. Steven must be crying tears of joy because we finally have a story arc again. 

The gems don’t want to tell Steven shit, and Steven is actually arguing with them. Honestly, I do like Steven standing up to the Gems leaving stuff out, especially since (as it was pointed out) they told him they were not going to keep any more secrets. 

Hey! Andy existing actually added to the plot. Gem Harvest still sucks, but at least it had a point. 

It’s Blue Diamond! We see her face and everything (well not everything, but you know what I mean). That’s not the shocking part, the shocking part is that she’s surprisingly sympathetic. She was portrayed as really cold in the answer, but here she actually does come off a decent gem. 

Greg got kidnapped! What’s this!? Stakes! This show finally has stakes again!

Ok, so Garnet’s future vision foresaw that if she was there, it would’ve been bad, but her future vision didn’t foresee Greg getting captured. Garnet’s future vision has to be one of the most plot hole creating powers in fiction history. 

Adventures in Light Distortion

Ok, so apparently Pink Diamond had a people zoo. That is monstrous! Imagine if humans actually had people zoos. Imagine how fucked up that would be. 

 Hey Peridot! Nice for you to help out the gems! Now fuck off! 

There was a slight writing botch. I understand the idea of what they were trying to do here. Peridot was suppose to tell them to make adjust the settings of the ship, but they rush on the ship before she could tell them, but they mess this up a little. They have some of them get in the ship before she could tell them, but Garnet tells both of them to protect Beach city and they set off. Peridot doesn’t insist on telling them, or try to stop them from leaving so what happens later doesn’t happen. What I’m saying is that I know what they were trying to do, but it was poorly executed. 

Hey! It’s the Rubies! They even lampshade how the gems haven’t done anything to find them. Now fuck off! Actually, Garnet does say that they will pick them up on the way back, but how much do you want to bet they won’t do that? 

Poor gems, now you’re chibbi! 

I like how they write Pearl in this arc. She’s kind of comes off as a bit hot headed especially when she blames Peridot for what happened. “This is why we don’t listen to her!” 

Were they trying to make Amethysts messed up form look like a banana, but... It looks like something else. 

Wait, if this ship’s controls could make the gems as big as the diamonds, then why don’t the crystal gems become the size of diamonds and kick some butt? Why don’t the rubies make themselves bigger to kicks some ass? Maybe the size changing only works in the ship. 

This went from goofy to serious pretty quickly. Though we do get a happy ending for now. 

Gem Heist 

There’s a couple of tall Amethysts guarding the door! Surprisingly little angst from Amethyst. That’s character development. 

We get a new gem named Blue Agate. She’s kind of generic personality wise with weird hair. 

Hey look! A plot where Ruby and Sapphire need to separate to fool someone and it actually makes sense! (Yes I’m implicitly insulting you Hit the Diamond, I love you and all, but the plot didn’t hold up) 

Here’s a funny thing about this episode. Blue Agate is constantly praising Blue Diamond for being wonderful while Ruby is holding her anger. Now usually this would happen with the bad guy having a messed up sense of morality praising the villain while the heroes have to hold back their justified anger, but here’s the thing. I see both interpretations of Blue Diamond as accurate. I understand Ruby’s feelings, but Agate’s praises don’t come off as inaccurate. As stated earlier, Blue Diamond comes off as really sympathetic (Yellow Diamond seems to be the evil one) and she is shown as doing a lot of noble things throughout the arc like keeping the Rose Quartz, humans, and quartz soldiers alive. Her reasons for kidnapping Greg are even pretty ethical. Is it possible she could’ve developed a better set of ethics since The Answer? 

Ok, now here’s the point where the ruse doesn’t make sense anymore. They are at a door that leads to the human zoo, but they decide to create a distraction for Blue Agate so they can get in. The problem is that like in Hit the Diamond, violence was actually the answer. Instead of creating a big distraction for Blue Agate why didn’t they just poof her, bubble her, open the door to free Greg, and just walk out like nothing happened (the Amethysts clearly didn’t care). There are actually multiple times in the arc where jumping and poofing Blue Agate was the obvious solution, but they don't do it. 

So Steven is on a conveyer belt and is getting undressed/ dressed. The whole time watching this scene I was thinking “Use your shield Steven! Use your bubble shield! Use your regular Shield! Do Something!” 

The Zoo 

Greg’s alive in the human zoo, the resident’s are your typical residents away from a human society. Childlike, ignorant, and blissful. 

I honestly thought they were going to have it where Greg actually wanted to stay in the zoo, but they didn’t (maybe I’ll use that angle for the Mellow Frames). 

Usually this zoo would be a satire relating to our own society, for some reason, I don’t think that’s the case here. 

Bathing with clothes on. That’s how you know it’s a family appropriate show. 

I’m so glad they didn’t have it where Greg hit Steven. That would have been really uncomfortable. 

Surprisingly, Homeworld is way more cool with interracial relationships than way too many white people (or even some black people, look at the crap Mike Coulter got for being married to a white woman from Black women ) in the US. 

Everyone wants to marry Greg! But Greg won’t have it. Breaking a lot of innocent people’s hearts is what they needed to escape. Also love how the Amethyst’s treat the humans. 

That Will Be All 

Ok Amethyst. That was a good prank. You actually fooled me. 

I really like the Quartz Soldiers. Though it does highlight how the more we learn about Homeworld, the less intimidating they become. Though there are definitely upsides to “humanizing” Homeworld gems. 

Yellow Diamond has a song and it’s... not my cup of tea. Maybe it’s because I prefer the more electro or folk songs from Steven Universe instead of the Broadway sounding ones. This song also sounds like a very generic villain song, might tie Strong in the Real Way for most generic song in the show. I also don’t like how most of revolves around a lame pun, that’s not even lame in the fun way. 

Blue Diamond is keeping a room full of Rose Quartzes to commemorate Pink Diamond. I’m actually surprised Yellow Diamond didn’t shatter one at the end of the song. It would’ve done good to make her more intimidating. 

They almost make it to their ship when Blue Agate sees Greg and Steven, but Ruby and Sapphire fuse. Oh yeah! Now let’s get a fight scene!... It’s already over? They beat Blue Agate in a few seconds... Season 4, what’s your aversion to fight scenes? 

Pearl is being such a bitch. I love it! 

[cluelessnamelessao3]

It’s Raining Somewhere Else

The One with the Note

Work started up again just days later, and you fell back into the swing of serving customers during the evening and closing the bar at night either with Grillby himself, or Jen—who, as it happened, had really warmed up to you after her date with Grillby.

However, you also suspected it had to do with the attack at Muffet’s parlour. Monsters all over had heard about it, though unsurprisingly there was nothing on it on the news aside from a brief mention that “yet another monster establishment was harassed”. It made you sick how they were covering up the truth.

You weren’t even sure if those two attackers had been properly taken care of.

It was scary to think they could still be free and on the prowl.

You swiped a damp rag across the bar, idly cleaning as you waited for time to pass. You’d gotten another closing shift, your fourth in under a week. You knew it was just how the availability was working out—after all, you were working on a resume for a potential academic position at the local university and Grillby knew you were, so he gave you the day time to both work on that and to just enjoy. He was supportive for a boss, especially one who spoke so infrequently.

Sans ran a bony finger around the mouth of the almost empty ketchup bottle. He hadn’t been the warmest of fellows, but it had changed recently. It seemed like in light of what happened at Muffet’s, he was also being a little bit kinder.

“Do you want another?” You asked, moving down the bar toward him, absently wiping down the counter and grabbing any discarded drinks or food items. It was second nature now to tend to the bar and customers. Or, perhaps not as easy as second nature—but it was definitely becoming less arduous and more enjoyable to be at work.

You imagined this was why Grillby chose this work. He got to be both social and hardworking, and rest assured with the knowledge that he was providing a place of sanctuary for the monsters on Ebott.

“nah, kid.”

“It’s Kit, not kid,” you quipped without thinking.

He only grunted though.

You wanted to say something, to have the kind of light and teasing conversation Jen might have with Sans, but he never took to your jokes the same way. You figured he was just stubborn, as silly as it was, you were quite determined to win him over eventually.

You continued to close down, counting the money in the till, bussing tables, sweeping the floors, turning off and scrubbing the grills, etc. You worked diligently and in near silence, San’s fiddling with his phone—the clack of his boney fingers on the keys—the only other noise accompanying you.

“Are you staying until I lock up?” You asked curiously.

Typically, on a day you would close, Sans would take an opportunity to leave early—usually by the time Grillby had left, he’d be gone. He wasn’t the most social.

“yeah,” sans continued to play with the empty bottle, “do you want me to walk you home?”

Silence met his question. It wasn’t that you didn’t have the ability to talk so much as you were so taken aback by the question you could hardly comprehend it.

So, being yourself, you chose to answer with a baffled question: “why?”

He seemed uncomfortable, and perhaps surprised by your response, “uh, well, i don’t know if you recall, but there was a recent assault on a café near here…?”

“O-oh.”

More silence, and you began to regret your own stupidity. In all honesty, his question warmed your heart. Aww, he’s concerned, you thought, a small smile forming. Quickly, you turned away, hoping he didn’t see the soft look on your face.

As you wiped down the other counter, you babbled, “I see, thank you, Sans. Uhm, that would be nice, if you don’t mind. It was… scary. I’ve been a little anxious about it and all. Muffet is so nice and she got targeted for no reason. All the monsters are targeted and it’s just horrible. I mean I hoped humans would be a little better, but instead we’re all just… just… ugh.”

He snickered, “no bones about it—they’re spineless.”

You nodded, before realising he might not have been able to see it, “Er, yeah. I mean, it takes a really insecure and bad person to hate someone for being… different.”

You continued to close down, cleaning the tables, pushing chairs back to their proper places, and turning off any lights and appliances—the entire time, chatting amicably with Sans. It was probably the most he’d ever interacted with you, and you couldn’t help but giggle at his lame puns, as well as throw out a few of your own.

You didn’t have the same finesse in delivery, but even Sans chuckled at a few of your attempts.

It felt good just to chat and do your work. You found yourself thinking, more and more, about how cool Sans was, how funny, and how charming—then you froze for a moment at that thought.

A giddy feeling erupted in you, were you crushing on him? Just from a little kindness? You could almost laugh at the absurdity. You always did get crushes quickly. They almost always waned just as fast, though. Really, you just wanted to be his friend.

He walked you home, and you chatted happily the entire way.

“This is me,” you said finally as the two of you reached your door. The hallway you stood in was dingy, and if you weren’t quite so tired you might be embarrassed by the quality of the place you lived, but you couldn’t bring yourself to worry over that now. Sans seemed pretty laid back besides, and though he wasn’t the most welcoming of people, he wasn’t judgemental. Plus, you remembered, he might actually live in the same building. Your remembered him and the other kid like Chara (who must've been Frisk).

There was a moment of silence as you considered each other.

“well—” Sans started.

“Do you want--?” You began at the same time.

You both paused, a short laugh coming from Sans. Blushing, you fumbled with your keys and the door. It was a relief when the door opened.

“I was going to ask if you wanted to come in, but it is late… I understand just heading home… Thank you for walking me.”

He grinned, “it was a walk in the park. you’re not so bad, kit.”

You figured that was the closest to a compliment you’d ever get from him—and he even used your name for once!

“i’d stay and chat, but i have a brother that needs a bed time story.”

“Okay! Well, thank you again, Sans. I’ll… see you.”

“see you.”

You stepped inside, closed the door, and sighed. The pounding of your heart only confirmed that you had a bit of a crush on him. You wanted to squeal, but you weren’t sure he was gone yet. It’d be mortifying if he heard your happy little exclamations.

Quickly, you turned from the door and fast walked further into the apartment, straight past your little living room, and right into your room.

Only to have your mood instantly soured by a certain fluffy cretin.

“Lampshade… what… the fuck…”

Your little black cat sat beside the mangled mess of what used to be your favourite sweater with his tail wrapped neatly around his paws. He looked almost elegant, if you ignored the brutal remains of your top and the threads of fabric in his mouth.

“Come on, man. I just got home. I knew you’d be mad—but I wasn’t even gone that long,” you grumbled as you scooped up the tattered sweater. You carried it out into the small kitchen and tossed it into the bin below the sink. There was no point in keeping it, and you didn’t want to give Shade the satisfaction of having your prized sweater.

“Stupid cat. Stupid sweater. Stupid, mean cat.”

A knock on the door interrupted your complaints, however. For a brief moment, you considered: did Sans come back?

You walked to the door and opened it up to an empty hallway. You blinked, “hello?”

On the floor laid a neatly printed note, you picked it up gingerly. In printed font it read “Monster fuckers get dusted.” Lowering the card, you glanced around once more, seeing nothing.

Fear prickled your sides and crept into your limbs. You were frozen in the doorway with the little note clutched in your hand. A small part of you was angry that someone was threatening you. The rest of you was paralyzed with fear.

They had come to your street, been in your building, come to your very door. You felt cold.

Monster fuckers get dusted.

It echoed in your head, and you remembered Muffet’s discussion of monster deaths and dust. The meaning could not have been clearer.

They would kill you for socialising with the monsters.

You slipped back into your little house, closing the door, and taking care to lock it properly. Numbly, you dragged yourself into your room, the note still held tightly in your fist. You set it on your bedside table, pulled back your covers, and slid into bed. Lampshade hopped up and laid beside you.

You did not sleep; the words just played on repeat in your mind.

And then you did sleep, and your dreams were filled with yelling, anger, guns, and scared faces. You woke with tears in your eyes, and dread in your soul.

You turned to look at the note, still sitting on the bedside table.

What should you do?