#like they are both so full of self doubt
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alright I've thought about it for a while, and I'm fairly confident that is in fact Bram, and that Aya isn't hallucinating/seeing an illusion.
The biggest thing casting doubt, aside from the obvious different outfit, is the fact that the chapter ends on this reveal, suggesting it could be a cliffhanger bait. However, BSD's cliffhangers always involve something terrible happening that gets rectified in the next chapter(s), to scare us before giving us back hope; there's never been a case of the other way around, where something good happens to get our hopes up, only to have the rug pulled out from us at the start of next chapter to show that we were foolish for hoping. Asagiri is never that cruel. He loves his death baits and his dangerous situation baits before letting us know that everything is okay, and he'd never suggest that it was wrong for the audience or the characters to have hope, when BSD is quite literally about having hope even in the most absurd situations.
But more specifically, just.... what would a fakeout like this accomplish? The only way I could maybe see it was if this is Fyodor, and we think Aya is safe but she's actually not, but there's no way it's him, because we see him with the singularity and Kunikida/Tanizaki at the same time as this, he's wearing Bram's outfit and not the one this person has, and we've established that he wants to protect Aya, not hurt her. Granted, he obviously doesn't care enough about protecting her since he let her escape and get hurt all on her own lmao, so that's exactly why I ask what would be the point of him suddenly showing up just to save her from the rubble, only to then just hurt her anyway? None of that is logical.
And then, if it's Akutagawa, then that means we had our emotions played with for a twist that is just.... mildly disappointing but also not outright bad for the characters? Disappointing because Bram isn't back after all, but also not a net negative because Aya is still being rescued by someone we know and trust. If that were to happen, Aya hallucinating Aku as Bram, I just can't see it happening as a chapter cliffhanger fakeout at all; it would just feel cheap and cruel, playing with our feelings (not to mention Aya's feelings!) regarding a character we want to come back, for a reveal that isn't really worth it and doesn't change the status quo (because she's still safe regardless if it's Bram or Aku).
Aside from the lack of narrative justification, I also believe that if Aya were to hallucinate Bram, she would see him exactly as she knew him back when he regained his body — I mean, she basically does see him like that when she's remembering his last moments with her in this chapter and in the previous one when she's yelling at Fyodor; sure they're just repeated panels as flashbacks, but they're still her memories of how she sees him. I was unsure for a while about the figure's identity, but it was seeing it pointed out that Bram no longer has his nails that was really the final nail in the coffin haha get it, it's a multilayered joke, please laugh- for me: why would Aya hallucinate Bram not only not in his own outfit, but with his body altered from how she knows it? There'd be no reason why she would, and no way she could. She's never seen him in a different outfit, with different nails. Note that every other instance we've gotten of characters hallucinating significant figures in their lives (Atsushi, Mushitarou, Dazai), they're always wearing the clothes they're most known for and what the person knows them to wear. There's no reason to assume this would be different for Aya, and that she'd imagine him wearing a completely random outfit from the one she associates with him, and randomly without his signature long black nails.
This closeup panel of Bram's collar right when he first begins speaking pretty much proves my point. It's inconsistent with the new outfit (Aku's outfit) we see him wearing on the last page, but with the framing of this, with him being entirely in shadow in the rightmost panel when he first appears, it's clear to me that Aya can't see him clearly yet, so she's imagining him the way she remembers him. And then he gets closer/lifts the beam higher so that the shadow starts receding from him, and his feet and hands and different outfit become visible. The tone of this moment and the way it plays out is exactly as I've seen in numerous other visual media, where a character thinks they're on the brink of death and has lost all hope and is ready to accept it, before the slow, grand reveal of the person they thought they'd lost rescuing them, often with them posing a philosophical question to challenge their current despair or their belief that their loved one couldn't possibly still be alive, just as Bram does here. If you've seen enough movies and TV, you can probably imagine exactly the kind of scene I mean, and exactly how this moment would play out if it were animated I say "would" because it's never a given that Bones will adapt it with the right tone like I imagine.
This is framed as a triumphant, hopeful scene, of a knight coming to rescue his princess after he was thought to be dead. Aya has hurt her leg here, she's trapped, she's realizing she's about to die, and she's at last fully convinced herself that everything she so staunchly believed in was wrong and that everything she fought for all that time was for nothing; firstly, why would she suddenly hallucinate Bram if she had already lost all hope, but most importantly, why would the narrative have Bram defy death and return to her and challenge the idea that all her ideals and actions were meaningless, only for it to turn out that it isn't really him, when she misses him so bad? That just.... wouldn't be right at all, that's not the feeling this scene gives at all. This is their moment, Bram has to be the one to say these things to Aya with their history together, not anyone else, and I can't imagine Akutagawa saying something like what Bram says to her here, about royalty carrying out their pledge to protect someone without fail, even if he has inherited Bram's protectiveness towards Aya like Fyodor has. No, I'm 90% certain that is indeed Bram. It can't possibly be anyone else.
...And so, all that to say that yeah, I believe that Bram has Fyodor'd himself into Akutagawa's body, since he's wearing his outfit. We don't really know the extent of Bram's powers, but it's looking likely that he can bodysnatch any of his vampires for himself if something ever happens to him, or perhaps Aku might be special since he was the first vampire Bram created at the start of all this. Needless to say I'm not at all worried about Aku though; this is probably the beginning of why he ends up with that suit of armor later on, since Bram has his clothes... I just have no idea how we get to that point. But Aku will be fine, I'm sure; this may even be the only way he can come back from being a vampire.
#bungou stray dogs#bsd spoilers#bsd 116#meta#it's gotta be bram it's gotta be bram *huffs copium*#i'm still wary a little bit but WAY more confident once i noticed the nails#even if the nails and the collar panel are just harukawa somehow forgetting (i seriously doubt it)#i still believe aya would only hallucinate bram in his old outfit entirely (aka on the last page with the full reveal)#it would just........... be more obvious it was a hallucination y'know? and thus wouldn't be an end chapter cliffhanger#asagiri never baits with the hallucinations like this#bram's come to save her and we should believe in this moment#because it's a beautiful moment if it is indeed him 😭💖#i didn't address the teruko fukuchi page comparison but it's not really the same thing at all imo#again teruko is fine and then she sees fukuchi and gets excited and caught off guard - but then she's doomed#whereas aya was ALREADY doomed and when she sees bram he brings hope and salvation with him#they both have the stoic expressions but fukuchi's illusion face looks unnervingly cold and mockingly pitying because it's not really him#and he's about to kill teruko#wherea's bram's stoic face just looks like his normal self#so it's a really weak link#and if the teruko moment had been at the end of the chapter it would have ended with her getting stabbed. not with fukuchi's illusion lol
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Wine stains on porcelain
(Alternatively: @katkastrofa and I have created 5 OCs in 3 days and I suffer from chronic “I wanna draw the little guysssssss” disease)
#my art#artists on tumblr#the legend of korra#original characters#I have not figured out a tag system yet so for now this is all they’re getting#their names are liba and abyan and I’m very much obsessed :)#they’re the children of two of our other newest OCs. Himman and Summiya#the latter of whom just happens to be Zaheer’s older sister#but he ran away from home years before these two were born so he most likely isn’t even aware of their existence#I mean. I’m sure he suspects his sisters had children. but that’s the extent of what he knows#anyway#quite a few headcanons came to mind as I was drawing so I’m gonna type them out while I can still function#(haven’t slept for two nights in a row. I’m starting to doubt whether I’m actually alive or not)#Liba is older by about a year but once they grow up a little it’s barely noticeable and people assume they’re twins#over time they stop bothering to correct them because really. they’re so close they might as well be#they were both burn with port wine stain birthmarks on their faces. much to their mother’s dismay#she has a whole perfectionism complex and needed her children to reflect that to maintain the family image#thus they were taught how to hide the marks early on. but the powder makes them constantly sneeze#liba is very self conscious about it bc of what her mother put in her head. Abyan less so bc while he’s expected to be perfect#his future doesn’t depend on his looks. he always tries to comfort his sister whenever she spirals too deep. no matter that she’s older#when no one is around to hear he calls her Lili <3 it annoyed her at first so she dubbed him Yanyan in retaliation#but over time they both grew to love the nicknames and now use them unironically#they’re the ultimate partners in crime. their goal? gaining as much freedom from their mother as possible#and sooner or later they will manage to do so permanently. which will make Summiya fall apart. but that is currently Kat’s domain#speaking of. hi Kat. I know you’ve already seen this in pencil but look! I coloured them!!#the birthmarks were both kinda annoying and rather fun to do. maybe I’ll change them later. I was too tired to look at refs so I improvised#and there’s no detail in clothing since again. 0 energy whatsoever. but once I refine their full body designs I shall go all out#that reminds me I need to go collect my new sketchbook. might do it on the way home from the store#okay I’m getting distracted. is this my very unsubtle way of trying to influence Kat to write that Summiya fic?#maybe. maybe not. you can’t prove anything 😁
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the setting itself can be the monster... but also... a lover? much to think about
#random thoughts#thinking about a house which is alive and is obsessed with you#and it has full control of whatever non-living items lay inside its walls#(with of course one of the horror aspects being 'if something dies it is now an object and can be controlled')#(which could be used for a 'the house kills your spouse and then takes control of their body to love you like it thinks your spouse should')#(and as long as the body stays inside the house it stays intact but if a long time passes and it leaves it fucking insta rots)#i think a lot of what the house does is just to keep you from leaving#from seemingly innocuous stuff like 'oh we're out of milk i should go buy some-nevermind i found a half pint in the back of the fridge'#to stuff like making fake phone calls so you think your friends keep canceling plans on you while you're seemingly ghosting your friends#to just straight-up making a fake outside. i imagine this would be very taxing on the house for long periods of time (su rose's room)#now i'm imagining the house possessing your spouse's corpse and remolding it to fit what it wants to look like better#either as a form of self-expression or from a place of perfectionism ('those slightly uneven eyes have been bugging me for MONTHS')#the house is a control freak perfectionist and likes you being inside where it knows everything and can control all#no privacy at all#i doubt the house's perception is all-seeing so let's say you can tell it's watching if things in the same room as you are being adjusted#a slightly ajar kitchen cabinet being gently closed. stuffed animals adjusting their positions to be in a perfect row.#and if it's feeling particularly ominous the stuffed animals could all be turned to look at your bed#imagine you sleep with a favorite stuffed animal and as you're drifting off you could SWEAR it adjusted itself in your arms#almost like it was getting comfortable...#horror#and of course the spouse doesn't believe anything you say and thinks you're going crazy so. accidental gaslighting#it would culminate in a screaming match between you and your spouse and your spouse moves as to hit you#and SNAP the house force-snaps their neck#or maybe there's a rube goldberg machine going on in the background of a gun magically loading and firing itself directly into their skull#spouse drops dead. pin-drop quiet. GETS up. brushes itself off. 'well that's a bit better'#imagining 1950s btw. something about the horror of your home being both your prison and your solace#you are a housewife and you and your husband just moved into this edwardian-era townhouse in the hopes of starting a family#your husband works a lot so of course you're the one who notices the house being fucking weird#maybe at first you assume it's a ghost and you're a bit scared until you find a way to communicate and then you just have a new friend#maybe your only friend in a new town
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Imagine Gojo setting a condition to his Clan for him to give them an heir. "It's HER or no one." The elders aren't happy that he chose a non-sorcerer, but they reluctantly agree... that is, if Gojo manages to convince you.
“Come here-...I’m far from done, kitten.”
God, Gojo still makes you nervous, with his mouth buried between your legs for longer than you can even imagine. Why are you still so nervous? Is it the proximity? Is it the way he leans in to make eye contact while he licks you? Is it those blue piercing eyes? Or that immensely amused smirk that twists his lips just enough so he can keep eating you out?
"Mmmmm... stop moving so much, (Y/N). We are making a mess of my desk..." he purrs, all too pleased to watch your eyes roll to the back of your skull. "That’s my good girl..." the man between your legs, praises, "my future bride to be...-"
"T-...that's still u-...under discussion, S-Satoru." Your quivering protests are sweet chords of music for him, "I already t-.... told you that I d-don't want to be part of the jujutsu world.... nor b-belong to a-.... any clan."
"Not any clan, pretty. MY clan."
You hear him slurp greedily at your folds and feel a warm trick of saliva run down your ass, and when your mouth is about to throw another protest-... Satoru Gojo makes a vacuum on your quivering clit with that annoying mouth of his. Your thighs tense and the muscles of your stomach follow, a quake that rakes your entire form, making you a pathetic mock of a human.
Both your hands fly to cover your mouth and Satoru chuckles deep, amused rumble that cracks the rest of your self-control. Your cheeks grow in the most adorable shade of pink, and your breathing hastens.
"So CUTE~"
Satoru whimpers, dumb founded, his broad chest puffing with so much fervor, so much blinding endearment that he feels like about to explode. He can see the doubt in your beautifully contorted features, and he dips his tongue inside you, fucking you with that fat tongue to try to make you agree to his terms, to be HIS.
Dammit! You feel… amaaaaaazing. Why? It’s like a flip inside you only he can switch at will—... even so, he’s dangerous, you remember. He’s a special grade sorcerer, you remember. He’s a mystery, he’s unpredictable—he’s invincible, unreadable, impenetrable and lethal with a playful smile, and you really know absolutely nothing about him.
Yet, he insists that you belong together. He insists on putting his child inside you, he insists that he will take care of you and his life will be yours. He insists that you belong in his world and if you're not there, he won't be there either. He insists on fucking you stupid every chance he gets, bending you over surfaces, of course! Always putting his coat or his shirt or any piece of his clothing, just so your skin never comes into contact with any unworthy surface. He insists, he insists and insists and insists...
“Fuck—” he growls, grabbing your hips, “—why are you... h-how do you manage to always have me wrapped around your little finger—?”
“I want you, Satoru-u... but I can't-”
He stops you with a soft but firm, squeeze to your waist.
“Not like this,” he pants, tipping his head to slowly lick a strip down your sweet cunt, a farewell caress, the whisper of a kiss to his last effort before lunch time is over and he can try again, later. “Let me pretend just for a little longer that you said yes—"
Your gaze drops to his trembling thighs and the warmth that settles in the pit of your tummy is intensified by the clear drop of precum shining at the tip of his gloriously thick and long cock, now achingly swollen and a mouthwatering shade darker in color than the rest of him.
“I'm yours, Satoru-” you offer in a quiet whisper and can feel him shake his head. “You aren't.... but I’ll make you change your mind. You, just watch me, kitten."
➡️ 👀 NSFW Sneak Peek artwork HERE ;)
➡️ FULL NSFW ART of this story
#gojo x reader#gojo smut#jjk x reader#jjk smut#gojou satoru x reader#jjk x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#gojo satoru smut#gojo x you#jujutsu kaisen smut#gojo x y/n#satoru gojo x reader#jjk#gojo satoru#gojo satoru x you#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru x y/n#gojo satoru fluff#satoru gojo#jujutsu kaisen#jjk fanfic#jjk gojo#gojo x oc#jjk fluff#jjk fic
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"mithrun is the only real monsterfucker in dungeon meshi" is objectively the funniest bit you can get out of his everything, but in all seriousness i think his attraction to his love interest is deliberately overstated—and that makes sense, because romantic jealousy is a classic and digestible motive, which is explicitly what kabru was aiming for in condensing mithrun's backstory, and also because until chapter 94, mithrun wasn't willing to admit to the true nature of his desires.
but because romantic envy is both classic and digestible, it probably isn’t a unique enough or complicated enough desire to tempt a demon’s appetite. mithrun’s wish, as far as we can figure from kabru’s reduced retelling, was to have a life in which he had never become one of the canaries, and that carries like 3857 implications and desires within it. that’s delicious. his love interest acts as sort of a red herring to his motivation for making it, though. (side note: i'm saying "love interest" here because, keeping in mind that i barely speak japanese on a good day anymore, "想い人" is something i'd usually take as just kind of an old-fashioned and romantic way to refer to a lover, but in context i wonder if both the connotation of yearning and the vagueness are intentional, and i think this phrasing gets those aspects of it more effectively. anyway.)
mithrun considered his love interest to be untrustworthy. there was a minute where i thought that comment might be about a similar-looking elf (yugin, one of his squad members), but comparing the two…
the "sketchy" arrow is definitely referring to the elf we know as his love interest—the bangs go toward her right, she only has the one forehead ornament, and, most notably, her ears aren't notched.
every time she’s given a full-body depiction in his dungeon, she’s drawn as a chimera, with the body of a snake from the waist down. (side note: the “what if a dungeon has chimeras before reaching level 4?”/“then the dungeon lord is unstable” exchange just being mithrun grilling his past self alive is so funny. he’s so. but anyway) there are a couple things about this.
first, the snake part of the chimera appears to be modeled after some species of coral snake mimic
which, in the biology-for-fun manga, i… doubt is a coincidence, especially with the added context of the “untrustworthy” comment. the dungeon’s conjured illusion of mithrun’s love interest was a harmless copycat of a venomous original. for whatever reason, he felt this person was a threat and made up a "safe" version of her to be in a relationship with, and while it’s definitely possible to be attracted to or even love someone you find to be toxic and/or intimidating, when you take that into consideration alongside the configuration of her body, you get some interesting implications.
which brings us to our second point: if we assume that mithrun was not in fact fucking a snake, then sexual attraction, at least, was so far removed from his idea of a relationship with this person that he did not even bother to keep her dungeon copy human enough to maintain the illusion of the option of a sexual relationship. this is somewhat echoed in the depictions of their interactions, which also imply a frankly unexpected romantic distance. she kisses his cheek and he doesn't seem to react; she's at the edge of a narrow bed with only one set of pillows, on top of his blankets while he's underneath them.
the kiss is particularly interesting because it seems to contrast the text. kabru's narration tells us this was everything mithrun could have asked for, but mithrun is there looking unreadable to pensive, likely because this is right before the panel that makes it clear things in the dungeon are beginning to go wrong.
walking through this backwards for a minute, we have the physical barrier of his bedding and the spatial separation inherent in a bed made for one person, the emotional barrier of his mounting anxiety getting in the way of his ability to enjoy the affection he sought, and... the snake, which historically carries the connotation of temptation, yes, but also mistrust, barring physical intimacy. okay. ok. if a dungeon reflects the mentality of its lord, all of this might suggest that mithrun was not able to have any real desire for a relationship with this person. his unwillingness to be vulnerable or let another person in was insurmountable. but in that case, why was she such a focal point that she remained to the end, after his dungeon had stopped creating iterations of his friends to come and visit him? why would he get so upset over her meeting with his brother that he became lord of a dungeon about it?
well. mithrun's brother was also interested in her, probably genuinely. and mithrun had to win.
you have an older brother who your parents completely ignore, probably in part because he is chronically ill/disabled and almost definitely in part because he received a ton of recessive traits that resulted in rumors that he was an illegitimate child. you are aware, most likely because those same parents fucking told you, that you actually are an illegitimate child. but they keep you around because you had the good fortune of looking just like your mother. what can that possibly teach you but that you, like your brother, are disposable?
it's utterly unsurprising that mithrun, under these circumstances, developed a pathological need to be better than everyone around him. people don't keep you otherwise. i'd argue this is also why he says he looked down on everyone he knew while milsiril claims his dungeon reeked of feelings of inferiority—he sought out people's worst traits and prioritized them in his mind to protect his already extremely fragile sense of self-worth, and all the while he tried to be as likable and high-performing as he possibly could be. his parents disposed of him anyway, but even then he tried to keep up the performance. he was kind to everyone. he never once lost to a dungeon.
when he saw his "love interest" meeting up with his brother, what he saw was himself being replaced by a person his parents had always treated as worthless, and if that was what they thought of the child they'd kept, what value could anyone possibly see in the bastard they'd given away to die? mithrun and kabru tell the story like he wanted to win this unnamed elf's heart, but it was never about being with her. it was about cementing his worth, proving that he didn't deserve to be thrown away.
and so it's particularly cruel that his demon discarded him, too. but maybe it's also particularly gentle that, in the end, there was someone who refused to even consider giving up on him.
kui laid it out in three panels better than i could hope to.
yeah. it's love. you wanted to be loved, even when the only way you were able to understand it was through the desire to be wanted, and you wanted that so badly that the idea of being consumed felt like the promise of finally mattering to someone.
#dungeon meshi spoilers#mithrun#dungeon meshi#this has been rotating for a while but i wanted to check my evidence before getting into it thanks user angelspenance for posting that meme#half of this is just the text and the other half i'm sure has been said before but it's making my brain [radio static] so here this is#someone did for sure mention this but i do find it very cute that in his fucked up conjured world meant to portray his ideal reality#his teammates came to visit him. like part of the fantasy was then explicitly that they cared about him and were his friends. even though#he says he tried to see the worst in them.#hm it does feel important to note that i do also believe 100% in mithrun suicidality--his desire to be eaten does seem to focus a lot on#wanting it to be Over. wanting not to be left incomplete and empty anymore.#but that loops back around a bit to the hole in your heart that appears when you feel unloved. it's many things and the same thing at once#snakes#long post#severe problems#meshy
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— within uncertainty
sunday reflects on his limited time thus far on the express, only to find himself distracted by a face he has unknowingly become fond of.
CONTAINS : 1.2k wc, gn!reader, astral express member!sunday, fluff
A/N : chat have we seen the lc and gameplay leaks…? throwing up.
When Sunday first arrived on the Astral Express, a miniature gold and crimson ticket attached to his apparel, he wasn’t sure what to expect.
A new start; that much he was sure of. But with these people who instilled a newfound hope and courage to face the future, there was no shadow of a doubt within his heart and soul that he would encounter the unexpected more times than he can keep track of.
Sure enough, the unexpected came in many ways.
For one, March 7th’s uncanny ability to look at the bright side of things appeared so natural to her, so easy and simple. In recent times, he has found himself thinking about situations in a more positive light, no doubt a side effect of having spent time with her bubbly self.
He discovered Dan Heng’s aloof demeanour barely concealed his great care and affection for the crew— the Astral Express family. Even with what seems to be passive quips and dead-eyed stares, Sunday has begun to note the differentiations in his tone and body language, and all the subtleties he only shows with them.
He discovered the Trailblazer was every bit of a jokester as they are courageous, often finding himself staring blankly at some of their… seamlessly timed quips, to put it lightly. Even so, he’s oftentimes caught himself mid-admiration when they take charge in what they believe is right, wondering if he, too, could be like them in that aspect.
He found that Welt, while still retaining the righteous and strong spirit he displayed while in penacony, had a rather unprecedented charm. Sitting down for hours on end listening to the elder ramble passionately about animating, the arts, and endless theories about this universe wasn’t something he had ever planned for, but his heart warmed all the same at the burst of energy.
He came to realise the Express’ Navigator, Himeko, was certainly a… character. Brave, wise and humble were what he would use to describe her, even more so after her warmly welcoming him into the family. However, Sunday realised he could do without that… concoction she dubs a coffee.
He also never realised such a creature existed until he met Pom-Pom, much less one being a sentient conductor. Their nags are backed with overflowing affection for the members of the Express, often displayed through the meticulous care taken in the tailored meals and rooms and experience. There is so much love of the Astral Express, and Sunday wouldn’t be surprised if he were told most of it came from the Conductor.
(Though he does recall being warned by Dan Heng in particular to not anger the Conductor, an experience he is both curious about but also content in not knowing what exactly would transpire.)
And then there is you.
Sunday only caught a glimpse of you during the final moments of the conflict, much like with Himeko, so he didn’t have too much to go off of other than the fact you, just as it seemed to come with being a part of the Astral Express, were brave and fought for what you believed in.
(With you in particular, he found himself unable to forget your gaze — how it held a sparkling resolution and commanded his full attention, completely and utterly drawn in.)
Of course, that’s not to say you don’t embody those aspects now that he’s gotten to know you. Rather, you are so much more than what he could have ever imagined.
“Wow… they’re way softer than they look!”
…In more ways than one.
Sunday doesn’t really know how this situation came to be. He was merely idling around the Express in search of something to pass the time until you took note of his predicament, swooping in like the graceful saviour you are (self-proclaimed by you).
Somehow, in some way, that brought you both to his room.
It’s times like these where Sunday wholeheartedly believes the most forward member of the Astral Express isn’t that racoon-like Trailblazer, but rather you instead.
Seriously. How are you not embarrassed by this… this compromising position you’re both in?! He can practically feel the radius in which the heat from his face permeates!
“Do you, like, have a care routine for them or something?” you ask while gently thumbing individual feathers, because obviously this is only affecting him and him alone. “I refuse to believe your wings are like this naturally.”
He knows he gave you permission to touch them, but it doesn’t change the fact his wings are still sensitive. Aeon knows what you would do with that information; well, assuming you haven’t already picked up on his reactions towards your… ministrations.
“I do have a routine. I go to great lengths pruning and trimming my feathers. More than that…” he trails off, opting to ignore your mumbled comment of “Wow… you’re just like a bird then…”. He coughs, averting his eyes from your intensely gentle gaze, raising a fist to cover his lips. “Are you this forward with everyone?”
You blink. Once, twice, thrice. Somehow, the action makes Sunday fluster even further.
A hum leaves you as your lips purse and your head tilts in thought. “Well, I wouldn’t say everyone, exactly. Just those I consider to be very close to me. Oh,” you begin, as though realising something, “does it bother you? I’m so sorry!”
No— wait— why are you apologising?
“I didn’t realise I was making you uncomfortable! Oh gosh, I did it again…!”
You make a move to scramble away from him. Is it your frantic and unfocused eyes, or perhaps this uncharacteristic side of your usual confident and unabashed self which makes his heart lurch?
“I’m so, so sorry! I’ll keep my distance from now on and—!”
He acts before he can think.
“No!”
There’s a surge of panic which shoots into him. It makes itself known in the raw strain of his voice, in the shaky wide-eyed stare at the thought of you leaving, in the trembling grip he has your arm in.
Really, Sunday doesn’t know what he’s panicking about. He just knows a part of himself would never forgive him for unintentionally pushing you away like this.
A gasp escapes him after a few tense seconds which felt much more like an eternity. With haste, Sunday tears his hand away from your arm. Despite that, he remains in close proximity to you, mustering the courage to look at you once more.
“I… I mean, no, you’re not making me uncomfortable.” Sunday prays you didn’t hear the stammer in his words. And, if you did, then he hopes you don’t bring it up. “If I were feeling as such, I would have told you outright.”
The silence is absolutely suffocating. Even so, Sunday doesn’t dare look away from your stunned expression, not even when he’s almost positive his face is about to melt off from the sheer heat radiating from him.
“Oh.” You blink, expression falling into that of neutrality. A nod of understanding is your next action; understanding of what? Sunday has no clue — he’s not sure he even wants to know. “So you’re that type, huh. I see now.”
Nevermind. Maybe he does.
“…What does that mean? Wait— [Name], come back here! Explain what ‘that type’ means! Are you listening?!”
Suffice to say, Sunday never received a verbal response from you. Only your cheeky grin before you left and a plethora of butterflies fluttering amok within his stomach are all that remains.
Yeah. Sunday didn’t know what to expect when joining the Astral Express; in fact, he still doesn’t know what to expect. Despite being thrown into the unknown, he finds himself thinking this situation to not be so bad after all.
if you enjoyed this, reblogs and/or comments are greatly appreciated <33
#sunday x reader#honkai star rail x reader#hsr x reader#sunday x you#honkai star rail x you#hsr x you#honkai star rail imagines#hsr imagines
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Between OSRS and Hyrule Warriors, I'm playing a ton of grindy games lately. Thank god I'm not working on the Minecraft flatworld project at the same time, right? Hahahaha, hahaha, haha...
(nah jk the real joke is that I'm not working on the Minecraft flatworld project)
#I'm a lot more over the former best friend stuff than I've been for a long time.#I'm spending a lot of time hanging out with the coworkers and with my pub friends#both groups rely heavily on alcohol which sucks ass but I like legit have friends again. I've managed to rebuild and move on#i still have like intrusive mental arguments where I'm like describing to my former best friend why he can't come back into my life#but even those are lessening in severity. and it's just like. the minecraft flatworld project only exists because I was coping with that#and I'm going back to it less and less#because I have a full-time job and I spend time with friends and I buy other video games if I'm bored. I've moved on#i needed that minecraft project to stay sane during the worst two years of my life. i *needed* that distraction to move on#and granted I still play a lot of tedious fuckin video games. but that one with the self-imposed tedium is waning hardcore#I'm gonna keep it around and go back to it from time to time but i don't 'need' it to cope. my life has changed so much since then#and it's all for the better. i have a job. i have two sets of friends and a ton of great video games to play#i have my own place to live - I'm living on my own. things are looking up#now granted things in my life can go catastrophically fucking wrong in a thousand different ways so like#i don't doubt that I'm going to need the flatworld project as a grief management tool in the future#but I don't need it *now*. i severely needed it for at least six months straight and I needed it well beyond a year after what happened#but since then I've needed it less and less and right now - I don't need it. because things are going well#that being said I'd still say I'm pretty depressed? but that's more of a baseline me thing
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Out of Sunshine
Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader
Summary: Having forgotten your dinner date, Spencer comforts his usually sunshine girlfriend Trope:Fluff & Comfort w.c: 1.2k a/n: been very overwhelmed with responsibilities and wants lately that I just needed to write a self-indulgent fic. Comments and reblogs are highly appreciated! 💗 masterlist
Spencer’s knock on your apartment door was met with silence. It was a starry Friday night and he had arranged a dinner reservation with you, his girlfriend for a year and a half, to the newly opened French restaurant along the main street. With a certain spring in his step, he settled with Hotch, and by extension the team, that he couldn’t be disturbed unless an emergency case comes in—something he silently wished not to happen. He had also picked up a bouquet of your favorites from the local florist. An array of whites that reminded him of the dress he first saw you wearing at the park.
He knocked again, ears straining to hear anything behind the dark wooden door. There was nothing. He balanced the bouquet on one hand and reached for the phone inside his satchel. It was quite unlike you to not answer the door.
The number you dialed is either unattended—
“Strange,” he muttered under his breath. During his morning phone call with you, a much needed routine to tide him through the macabre of his job, you sounded so excited about the dinner he’d planned and had even promised to wear the same white dress that had plagued his eidetic memory. He chuckled in reply before asking any plans for the day. There was a slight pause on your end, no doubt thinking of ways to pass time before night winds down, and you answer—
The studio, he remembered. You mentioned passing by your art studio to occupy time. He sighed in relief as he enters his vintage blue car parked on the the sidewalk, bouquet placed securely on the passenger seat. The clock on the dashboard tells him there’s still time to make it to the reservation, granted he wasn’t sure if you were ready to go.
A non-descriptive tune played from the radio as he turned left to enter the designated parking space of your studio building. It was a mixture of soft piano keys that sounded like spring and sunshine, both adjectives he loved to use to describe you.
When he finally found the courage to fumble his way in asking for your number, the smile that flashed on your face was blinding. It was as if he stared directly into the sun with little to no protection for his vision.
Over the course of multiple dates, he found himself waxing prose about you in his head. The pinking of your cheeks reminded him of strawberries ripening, so tempting to touch with his own pair of lips. The twinkle in your eyes, full of adoration and trust, made him feel strong and protective—like he was some kind of crow guarding his loot of sparkling treasure. And the bounce in your step wherever you’d go had him envisioning a sprig of wildflowers growing from each footprint, the nymph of his very own Spring.
He let himself in the studio, grateful you’ve trusted him with a spare key. “Sunshine,” he called out.
The light inside the four cornered room was on, windows all open for the paint fumes to escape, and there you were, hunched over an easel, furiously painting without any care of your surroundings.
He called your name, softer this time, as if to slowly ease you out of the artistic trance. The timber of his voice and his sudden presence led you to squeak in surprise, paintbrush dropping on the wooden streaked floor.
“It’s me, sunshine,” he raised his hands in front of him in surrender. “It’s me.”
Your nose scrunched up in question, a streak of blue dried paint on your cheek, adorable. How adorable you were in his eyes.
“What are you doing here?” you bent down to grab the brush before resuming your old position.
“It’s 7:50, love.”
You swiveled to face him, eyes wide in distress. Hands promptly reaching to turn over the faced down phone. “No, no—oh my god, I am so sorry!”
“It’s alright,” he tries to placate you but his words of comfort seem to fall on deaf ears. “Really, it’s alright. It happens to everyone.”
Tears were starting to build up in your eyes. Your hands were wrangling with the apron tied around your waist as you mutter a series of apologies again and again. “I’m sorry. So sorry—we can’t make it to our reservation now, can’t we? Spence, I’m so so sorry. I—I forgot,” a sob escaped from your throat. “I don’t know what to do.”
He puts down the flowers on the nearest available space, your stool, and steps into your space. Filling it with his perfume and warmth meant to comfort you. He could see how distressed you were—rocking on your heels, hands unable to stay put, and lower lip sandwiched in between your pearly teeth.
“Breathe. It’s completely fine, love. No harm done. Really, it’s alright.”
The tears come rushing down, staining your flushed cheeks with its tracks. “It’s not—how could I forget?”
“Sunshine, it’s okay. It happens to all of us and I know you’re quite busy, it’s understandable.”
You burrow into his chest some more, afraid of separating from him and the haven he brings.
He continued on. “I also know you’re overwhelmed, the exhibit is just around the corner and I know how important it is to you, I understand.”
Laying your cheek near his beating heart, you mutter a reply. “It’s really not—I don’t want you to think you’re not important to me too.”
His hands cupped your face to stare into your saddened eyes. Spencer couldn’t see the warmth and brightness that was always present in his sunshine. There was a cloud of rain and doubt covering its’ greatness. He understood no one could always be happy all the time but it bothered him to see you breaking down from stress.
“Shouldn’t I be the one worried about that?” he lightly joked. “I’ve cancelled on dates so many times and did those ever make you feel less important to me?”
“No. Never,” you sniffled.
“Then what makes you say I’d think that, sunshine? I would never, I promise.”
The corners of your lips lifted up to a small smile. There it was, the rays of sun peeking behind the clouds, bringing warmth back to the dark crevices of his being.
“I’m sorry about your shirt,” your lower lip jutting out in a pout. The air of anxiety slowly dissipating around you.
Spencer laughed, noting the tear stained marks littered on his purple button down. “That’s alright. Why don’t we order from your favorite Indian place down the block? We can get your favorites and have our dinner date here instead?”
“You’d be okay with that?”
He leaned in to kiss your temples, taking in the twinkle back in your eyes framed by your wet long lashes and the flush on your cheeks from emotion—good and bad.
For Spencer, you had never looked more beautiful. The reason behind of your breakdown was raw, intimate, and it made him see you in a new light. Heat bloomed in his chest, like a series of red roses, filled with love for you.
“Anywhere with you is good for me, sunshine.”
Comments and reblogs are highly appreciated!
#spencer reid oneshot#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid#dr spencer reid#spencer reid imagine#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds fanfic#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x you#spencer reid comfort#criminal minds fic#spencer reid fic
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LUCIFER MAGNE - H.H.
Prompt: Lucifer continuing to wear his wedding ring despite being in a relationship with you.
Genre: Angst and hurt; somewhat fluffy (but only for a brief while). Warnings: Swearing. Unhealthy relationship/coping mechanisms (?). Word count: 2.2k+
Lucifer had been courting you for a couple of months already, the King of Hell finally deciding it was time to make the two of you official. The tension was so incredibly thick, that even the hotel’s patrons were growing sick of having to watch the two of you dance aimlessly around each other. Charlie included.
The past couple of months were more than delightful – Lucifer treated you like a Queen, taking you out almost every other night, having nice candle-lit dinners, and dancing the night away. And if you weren’t really feeling the glamour, the both of you would stay cuddled up against one another whilst watching some cliche rom-com. It was like a dream. It was perfect…well, almost.
The very source of your concerns was the golden band that remained in Lucifer’s ring-finger.
You knew about the heart-break and torment that Lucifer underwent following his separation with Lilith. Understandably, having been together for many decades and centuries, the King had a difficult time trying to move on. Even in the earlier stages of your relationship, when he had been comfortable confiding in you, it was evident that he still deeply cared for Lilith, despite her absence.
You tried to be understanding – you really, really did. But every time you held his hand, the cold metal feeling against your fingers set a painful reminder that maybe he still hasn’t moved on completely.
It filled you to the brim with self-doubt. Perhaps he was just keeping you around just to fill in the void she had left. And if that were the case, were you even doing a good enough job in that? Hypothetically, if Lilith were to waltz in front of the hotel’s doors one day, was he going to throw you off to the side and run away with her? What if he’d grow bored of you all of a sudden?
Questions such as these would linger at the back of your head constantly, and as they did, you would cast a longing gaze in his direction. When he catches your eye, he would automatically send a smile your way, pearly-whites in full display. It would make you smile without fail, because how could it not? You loved that dashing smile of his. But everyday, you wondered if you could continue to maintain that smile in your life.
One night in particular, during dinner at one of Hell’s finest establishments, Lucifer noticed that something was off. Your smile hasn’t been reaching your eyes, and you seemed like you were anywhere but here. Your eyes had a distant look to them and whenever he’d ask if something was wrong, you would become dismissive. It concerned him a lot.
“Darling, are you alright?” Lucifer carefully asked once you both made it to the front porch of the hotel. “Was it the food? Was it not to your liking? Because the chicken was a bit off to be honest, it could’ve been a bit more seasoned–”
“Luci,” you intervened and grabbed his hands, giving them a reassuring squeeze. “The food was great, really. It’s just…” As your voice trailed off, you were quick to feel that damn ring around his finger. Because, of course you did, and it didn’t help your mood at all. You force out a huff and pull away, causing the demon’s frown to deepen, “I’m feeling a little under the weather tonight – probably just lacking a bit of sleep.”
Lucifer scanned your face all over, his brows furrowed in worry. “Well…I guess you have been working harder for the hotel recently.” There had been some truth in that – after all, there had been an influx of sinners in the hotel since the cancellation of this year’s extermination. But he didn’t seem to stop there, not fully convinced by your reasoning, “...But are you sure that’s all, my dear?”
You looked at him, surprised, as if suddenly caught red-handed. He was quick to pick up on that too, confirming his suspicions and making him all the more nervous.
“What are you trying to say?” You ask.
“Well, i-it’s just that I noticed that you’ve been acting a bit off recently,” he splutters. “And not only tonight. You’ve become a bit more…I don’t know, distant with me. And it worries me, y’know? I just…I really, really care about you. A lot.” He almost looks defeated as he rubs anxiously at his nape, “And if I’m being honest, it scares the absolute shit out of me that what I’m doing now isn't right."
Your brows crease in confusion, “...What are you talking about?”
Lucifer closed his eyes, dragging a palm against his face as an exaggerated groan leaves his lips. “Look, I’m not exactly experienced with all…all this – the one woman I’ve ever been in a committed relationship with left me. Just like that!” He lets out a humourless snort. “A-And I don’t know what I did to make her leave and I for sure don’t want to make that same mistake again. I…I want to be assured that I’m making you happy.”
Lucifer looks up at you, eyes filled with warmth, as he places a gentle hand against your cheek. He breaks the distance between you to press his forehead against yours. You automatically lean against him out of habit. “I don’t want to lose you. And if I’m doing something wrong, tell me. Please, don’t shut me out.” He pleads, his voice almost falling into a whisper. The unexpected confession left you speechless, your chest feeling all the more tight. It was making you feel worse than you already did.
You let out a shaky sigh, trying to keep the pending tears at bay. “Luci, I’m sorry. I didn’t know…I-I didn’t mean to make you feel that way. Trust me when I say that you’ve been nothing more than a gentleman, and every moment we’ve spent together has been magical. I appreciate you so, so much, and I could never, ever ask for anything more.”
You shut your eyes tight, shame filling your very core. “I’m just being a little silly–”
“No, no. Don’t say that, darling. Please tell me what’s going on. It’s okay,” Lucifer encourages softly, his thumb rubbing reassuringly against your cheek.
You grab his wrist and gently pull your face away from him. With the hand on his arm, you slide it down to grab at his own, bringing it up into view and in-between the both of you. Almost instantaneously, both your eyes lie on the golden band on his finger – to Lucifer, it suddenly clicks. But he couldn’t help but feel an internal conflict brew within him.
“I-I know how much that ring and Lilith means to you. I really do and I feel awful having to feel this way, but I just…I can’t help it,” you mutter, finally allowing the first couple of tears to fall, “I-I often find myself counting the days and hours when you’ll suddenly realise that I will never be good enough for you. It feels like I’m constantly having to compete with her–heck, what am I even saying? I know I’ll never be able to compete – because, I mean, come on. I'm a nobody!” You chuckle tearfully whilst gesturing to yourself with a free hand.
“And I don’t think I’ll ever understand how you’d ever settle for someone like me. I’m not nearly as important, nor am I the best-looking demon out there. I’m just me.”
“But Lucifer, whenever I’m with you, I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. I smile more. Laugh more. I even enjoy the little things more. And I don’t want that to go away. And I’m just hoping– Satan, I’m fucking hoping that it’s the same for you. And if it is, then how long is that going to last with me?”
Completely shocked, Lucifer watched in silence as his love sobbed their heart out in front of him. He wanted nothing more than to go and wrap you in his warm embrace, and whisper reassurances and hush down your cries. Because, you were right – you did make him happy. So unbelievably happy. You had been the light that casted away the shadows in his darkest times. And yet, why? Why did he remain where he stood, unmoving as tears pathetically poured from his eyes? Why wasn’t he saying anything?
There was a brief, stagnant moment of contemplation where the both of you just stood there. It was the realisation that Lucifer didn’t make any effort to formulate some form of response, that disappointed you even further. It only made the doubtful voice in your head louder.
It was you who ultimately decided to make the first move, wiping tiredly at your reddened face as you glanced at the hotel’s door. “I’ll be heading off first. I’ll be in the guest room tonight – it’s been a long day,” you raspily say, hiccuping as you pushed through the doors and disappeared into the hotel, leaving Lucifer alone outside.
As you entered the hotel, you immediately noticed Husk’s presence by the bar, who had been polishing some glasses by the counter. In front of him was Angel, who was making some sweet, small talk with him. They were both alerted by your entrance as the doors flew open, and as Angel was about to greet you in his usual playful fashion, his voice fell flat when he saw the depressed state you were in.
“Woah, there. What the hell happened to you? You look like shit,” Angel asked, standing to meet you half-way, “I thought you and Short-King were out on a date. Did something happen?”
“We were but we had a fight or something,” you tiredly shrugged as you walked past the arachnid and plopped yourself down on one of the bar stools. You swirled yourself on the seat to face Husk. “Give me the strongest shit you have. And make it double,” you waved absently at the feline-demon, who raised an incredulous brow at your bluntness. “Damn, it must be that serious considering you don’t even drink,” he grumbles as he turns to start brewing a glass of something, “...do you wanna talk about it?"
You contemplated his offer for a second and realised that you did. For the next five or so minutes, you ended up recounting everything that happened earlier tonight, all the while shedding even more tears. Angel was kind enough to supply you with a mountain of tissues to cry into.
“Well, it sounds to me that your man’s got a whole lot of thinking to do,” Husk clicks his tongue. “But what you’re feeling is completely valid.” “Yeah, who the fuck wears their ol’ wedding ring while dating someone else? What an asshole,” Angel hisses.
“S-So you guys think there’s a possibility that he might consider ending things with me?” You question dejectedly. Husk and Angel share a look of uncertainty, suddenly feeling the need to be careful of their words. Because they genuinely weren’t sure.
“I–Look, that’s not something we should be focusing on at the moment– I mean, of course, let’s hope that that’s not where this is going. I just think he needs some space to think things through properly,” Husk says.
“And I know I was talking a whole lot of shit before but let’s take the benefit of the doubt and look at things from his point of view. He was in that boat for more than a couple thousand years. And shit, that’s a lot of fucking years.” Angel points out. “It might take him a while longer to adjust to that, y’know?” Angel places a hand on your shoulder, grinning at you reassuringly, “But there’s one thing for sure that myself and everyone else knows: the guy loves yah, toots. Anyone with eyes can see it, and you guys are really fucking disgusting about it too–ow!”
Angel suddenly lunges forward against the counter as one of Husk’s wings swipes down to slap the back of his head. “‘The fuck was that for?! It’s true, ain’t it?!” Husk rolled his eyes at his dramatics, before turning back to you. “He’s right, though. Just…just give him a bit more time. I’m sure in the end, the both of you will be fine.”
Meanwhile, Lucifer decided to head back to his own castle, wanting to be alone to sort through his cluttered thoughts. He was beyond upset with himself for making you cry like that, because it was the last thing he wanted. But he was more upset at the fact that he didn’t know how to navigate through his emotions, despising that he found himself second guessing his feelings.
As you explicitly implied, was he really still unconsciously longing for Lilith? Was that why he kept wearing his ring? Why was he still wearing it? Was it just for his own comfort? But why would he need it anyways? You were there, weren’t you? All he had said to you tonight, he was contradicting himself, wasn’t he? Perhaps he’s scared. Maybe he isn’t ready yet. But, why would he be with you if he didn’t think so? What exactly were you to him? And what exactly was Lilith to him now?
Lucifer was a complete mess, and that night he couldn’t find a single blink of sleep as these thoughts plagued him. And neither could you, as you scrutinised every aspect of your relationship, thinking of what this could mean for the both of you, moving forward.
Yeah…perhaps you both needed some time.
Chapter II [x]
#lucifer magne x reader#lucifer morningstar x reader#hazbin hotel x reader#lucifer magne#lucifer morningstar#hazbin hotel
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The Sowing of Seeds
Summary ✩ Ulf the White was an imbecile in Jacaerys’ eyes. A drunk and an unworthy dragon rider. However, the Prince finds that his sweet daughter might not be so bad…
Warnings ✩ Smut, mean!Jace, Jace being an ass, classism, self doubt, loss of virginity, innocent!reader, creampie, oral sex, unequal power dynamics (reader is smallfolk and Jace is a Prince), slight mentions of blood
Despite your father’s sloth and drunkenness, you were a sweet little thing.
Jace could not help but to notice you. He tried not to, gods he really did, but with your innocent smile and kind laughter it was hard not to notice the girl who was the complete opposite of your dragon riding father.
You see, when Ulf the White answered the call to Dragonstone, he hadn’t been alone. You his daughter had come with him and it was only natural since you’d been taking care of your father all your life.
You weren’t sure who your mother was exactly, but Ulf always told you that she had long silver hair, purple eyes, and—depending on how many drinks he had that night—skin as pale as the moon or as dark as rich chocolates.
Whichever it was, your father was known for his embellishments, and often times his lack of manners. It wasn’t as if you’d had the most fancy of upbringings in Fleabottom, but you still liked to think that you had some class.
Your father, of course, had no care for such things. As long as he had a drink in hand and a listening ear, he could make himself comfortable anywhere. And unfortunately, right now he had both of those things.
You shook your head disapprovingly and frowned as you saw him seated at the war table, feet propped up and blabbering to Hugh about some tale or another.
You tried to warn him, you really did.
“This kind of behavior is not acceptable here,” You had hissed at him. Like always though, your father didn’t listen. He did as he pleased and now that he had a dragon, he felt entitled to do so.
So when the Prince Jacaerys marched in angrily and settled his fiery gaze onto your father, all you could do was wince and think,
I told you so.
“My Prince.”
You lowered your gaze and refused to make eye contact as he passed you. Suddenly, your worn down shoes became the most interesting thing in the room and you could feel Jacaerys’ stare on you briefly before it turned back to your father.
“What do you think you’re doing?” His accusing tone was not lost on you and your father quickly stood up, a grin on his face as he approached.
“Ah! There he is. Prince Jacaerys in the flesh!” He chuckled as he reached the Prince, not seeming to know or care that he was pissed.
“That’s my mothers’ seat you were sitting in,” Prince Jacaerys hissed, and the only thing he got from your father was a full-fledged laugh.
“Oh, it was just a bit of fun, my prince! I meant no harm,” Ulf waved him off. “You could use a bit of that round here, couldn’t you? All that handsome face is missing is a smile. Look at you—those lovely dark curls. I bet you get all the women with those looks eh?”
“Father!”
You sharply gasped as he carelessly ruffled the Prince’s hair, only stopping once Jace grabbed his arm and squeezed.
Your father winced, probably not expecting the Prince’s grip to be so tight. Briefly, you saw his fingers inch towards the sword that was seated on his hip, and the idea to cut in so that he wouldn’t cut off your father’s hand quickly reached you.
“Forgive him, my Prince. He is not familiar with the manners of court,” You quickly explained.
Jacaerys scoffed. “Or any manners at all, I’d say,” He said. His gaze once again traveled back to you, standing quietly as second hand embarrassment from your father washed over you.
You could tell that his actions irritated the prince more than he already was. He had a habit of looking down on you from the moment that you arrived, and now it seemed that his belief that none of you were good enough was validated.
“And you…” You flinched as Jacaerys’ amber gaze settled on you, breath quickening as a frown appeared on his face.
“How could you allow this? I thought you were better than this.”
The words stung more than anything you could’ve imagined. The implication that the Prince thought highly of you before this encounter made you both want to cry and strangle your father.
You opened your mouth to explain his behavior, to apologize for Ulf like you’d done so many times before. But suddenly,
“I’ll need a word with you to discuss the issue of this behavior,” The Prince suddenly said. You froze. “There is clearly a conversation needed to be held about how to behave yourselves at court.”
Your eyes widened. “But, my Prince—”
“Now.”
His harsh tone left no room for arguing. And neither did his glare. Quickly, you bowed your head in understanding and you tried not to cry as you locked eyes with your father.
Ulf stared at you as you followed the Prince, a hint of something that might have been guilt in his eyes. Whatever it was, you didn’t linger long enough to decipher it before you were gone, following Jacaerys and his guard until you reached another room.
You had to walk nearly halfway across the castle to get there. Briefly, you took in the sights of Dragonstone’s interior and figured that this must have been a place Dragonseeds were forbidden to enter.
Queen Rhaenyra had told you upon arrival that there were only three. The dragon pits without permission, the war council chambers, and the floor of their personal chambers.
Your eyes widened when you realized that this was latter.
“Leave us,” Jacaerys ordered that the two of you be left alone as soon as you walked into his room, making nerves practically explode in your belly.
You wondered if maybe this conversation was that serious to where he didn’t want anyone around to witness what he had to say. Again, your breath hitched as the thought of him bringing you here to privately tell you that you were being hanged or kicked off of Drgaonstone crossed your mind.
You prayed that neither would happen as fear struck your heart.
As the Prince Jacaerys turned to you with a disappointed gaze, you felt like you could hardly breathe. You tried so hard to avoid his gaze, but it was moot as Jacaerys placed a finger your chin and made you look at him.
“He cannot keep doing that,” Was the first thing the Prince said to you, and you were quick to agree as you nodded your head.
“I apologize, my prince. I really do! As I said, my father did not have the most civil of upbringings, and it is hard for him to adjust to all the new ways we must conduct ourselves.”
“And yet somehow, you’ve somehow grasped them just fine, despite being raised by him. Have you not?”Jacaerys mused.
You did not know what to say as you stared into his kind amber eyes. Compared to the look he had given your father, his gaze was considerably softer and you wondered why as you cleared your throat.
“I try…I try not behave as unruly as my upbringing, my prince,” You told him. Trying to ignore how your heart skipped a beat, noticing how handsome he was and how difficult it was to make eye contact with him because of it.
Jacaerys was easily the most attractive and the most important man you had ever met. With full lips, long lashes, and a dashing smile, he looked just like the prince’s you used to dream of rescuing you when you were a girl.
You had not been lying when you said that your childhood had been unruly. Often times, it consisted of taking care of your drunk father and working as soon as you were old enough.
You did little things here and there, enough to keep food on the table and afford shelter amongst others. But the streets of King’s Landing weren’t kind to any children, let alone little girls.
Often times, the only way to earn a decent living was either to leave or stay and sell your body.
No matter how hard times got, you vowed to yourself to never do the latter. No matter what, you just wanted to maintain your dignity and survive, which why you why you were so afraid of being kicked out.
Your father might’ve been too absorbed in his cups to remember what it was like, but you didn’t. You remembered every cold night, every threat of starvation and death.
Here on Dragonstone, those kinds of things didn’t exist. You could eat as much as you wanted, drink so much that your head didn’t throb from the lack of water.
You did everything right here to avoid going back to that place, but was your father really going to be the one to mess it up for you both?
“Hm.” Jacaerys let his eyes roam over you for a few seconds before responding. “You are different from them, you know. You are not like the other…mongrels my mother has invited into our home.”
You swallowed thickly as he took a few steps closer, trying to ignore the sting in your heart at the insult. “How so, Prince?” You managed to ask.
You were ever aware that the things you were thinking about could get you hanged. But gods, Prince Jacaerys was just so pretty that you almost wanted to be like your father and run your hands through his hair.
You wondered what it would feel like to touch a prince. To feel him on your fingertips, and the mere thought had you shivering as his eyes bore into you.
“Well for starters, none of them are as pretty as you,” The Prince smiled.
You reeled back at the compliment, not used to hearing any sort of praises from a man, let alone a Prince. His words had your cheeks growing hot, thankful he could not see the blush creeping on your skin as he continued.
“They are not smart like you are, nor courageous. When Vermithor released his rage you did not flee like the others, did you? You stood your ground to protect your father and it made the dragon deem you worthy. Now that is something I can admire. That is what makes you special.”
“M-My Prince. I—”
“Shh. Call me Jacaerys. Please?”
You shook lightly as he stepped forward, resting a hand on your face and stroking your cheek. You swore that you felt ready to pass out as the Prince rested his forehead against yours, his lips so close that you could feel his breath as his spoke.
“Tell me Dragonseed, and don’t lie. Have you thought of me the way that I’ve been thinking of you these past few weeks?”
“I…Jacaerys!” You let out a gasp, eyes wide as his lips brushed your ear. The sound was so sweet to Jace that he couldn’t help but to smile wider, liking the way that you shivered at his touch.
“I cannot get you from my mind, Y/N,” He confessed quietly. You tried to stop your heart from falling out of your chest as you stood there, stunned. “You plague me like a disease that will not go away. I’ve tired, but I’ve concluded that no remedy will rid me of this ache until I’ve tasted its cause. Until I’ve tasted you, sweetling.”
You stopped breathing momentarily as his pink lips brushed over your neck.
“M-My Prince, Jacaerys, we shouldn’t. I—”
“Do you not want to?” Jacaerys pulled away to stare at you quizzically, waiting for you to give any indication that you wanted him to stop.
While you didn’t, and while you couldn’t ignore the way your body lit on fire form his touch, you still couldn’t deny that a part of this wrong.
“I…You are a prince. I’m just a girl from Fleebottom. A bastard,” You told him weakly, reminding him of his position and your own. “I’m not…I’m not very worthy of you, my Prince. You said it so yourself.”
Quite ashamed, he remembered when you had accidentally walked in on a conversation with his mother and heard him call you that.
You had apologized to no ends for it, but even then Jace had felt guilty when he saw the hurt look on your face.
“I regret deeply what I have said, and I wish I never said it,” He confessed. “I admit, upon seeing strangers claim the birthright I’ve always been entitled to, I grew resentful. I did not think any of you were worthy enough but the dragons themselves have proven me wrong. You…” He shook his head as he smiled. “You are more than worthy of it Y/N, and I believe you are worthy of me. Do you accept this?”
It took only half a second for you to nod, and then giving into your desires, you allowed Jacaerys to kiss you again, feeling yourself getting lost as he guided you to his bed.
The sheets made of velvet and silk were the second softest thing that you had ever felt. The first was Jacaerys’ touch, feather light yet still intoxicating as he ran his hands down your body.
They roamed where no one else’s hands had roamed before, pinching and squeezing and clawing at the fabric that hid what he really wanted. All the while, his soft mouth moved against yours, urgency and desperation in his kiss.
You wondered how long he had desired this for. How long had the Prince laid in bed, thinking of having you like this while you simply had no clue. Had it been weeks? A month? The entire time you’d been here?
That thought alone had wetness pooling between your legs, the excitement of knowing a Prince desired you turning you on like no other.
Eagerly, you allowed Jacaerys to pull away in order to pull your dress down, the flimsy cotton easily giving away to his harsh pulling.
It wasn’t like you were a lady, so no corset or small clothes masked your body. Instead, your breasts sprang free the moment the fabric was pulled down, and Jace licked his lips hungrily as he dipped down.
“Oh!”
He started by taking one of your nipples into his mouth, and sucking like a babe desperate for milk. His soft lips wrapped around the bud until he was satisfied with the mark left on your skin, and the gasps that left your lips
Then, the prince carried on.
He kissed eagerly down your body, pulling and ripping at the fabric without a care in a world. Never mind that this was the only ‘nice’ dress you could afford, neither you or Jacaerys cared.
Your body was too busy reacting to the feel of his lips, jolting whenever he kissed a sensitive spot on your belly. The further down he got, the more it seemed like the pleasure and sensitivity increased.
Finally, the Prince managed to wiggle your dress completely off and you blushed as you were exposed.
Never before had you revealed yourself to a man, and Jacaerys’ reaction did not disappoint.
His amber eyes lit up as he spread your legs, using one hand to keep you from covering yourself. You were a bit shy about being on display in front of him, but Jacaerys shook his head every time you tried to curl away.
“Do not hide from your Prince, dragonseed,” He said firmly, running a finger over your most intimate parts. “That is an order.”
Fire licked at your body as the Prince smirked, liking the way you obediently nodded your head at him and moaned when he touched your cunt.
It was cute and painfully obvious at just how inexperienced you were. You whimpered nearly every time Jace’s finger teased you, gathering your wetness on his fingers and seeing how you reacted.
Every time you panted out his name, looking at him through your eyelashes, he swore he was going to make a mess in his pants.
The ache was nearly killing him, and he desired to feel some type of relief before he took you.
You looked at him, confused when the Prince pulled you up and made you get off the bed.
Naked and shy, you stood before him with your arms wrapped around your gorgeous body, unsure what to do until the Prince approached you and said,
“Get on your knees, bastard.”
You gasped at the foul name that had left his lips, not expecting him to be so…bold. His own status seemed to be forgotten in his mind, and his dark eyes peered down at you smugly as you did what he wished.
Shaking, you kneeled down in front of him and whimpered when Jace took ahold of you cheeks, squeezing them before lightly before pressing a kiss to your forehead.
When he got back up again, you could see him fumbling with the belt of his tunic, loosening it before stripping altogether.
The Prince stood before you, naked and aroused and you had never felt so unworthy of seeing such a beautiful sight. Your mouth drooled, your cunt throbbing at the idea of his pretty cock being inside of you.
“Open your mouth.”
Immediately, you did as he commanded though you weren’t sure why. You thought coupling was done a different way, but you were shocked when Prince Jacaerys rubbed the tip of his cock against your lips.
He teased you for a little bit, shoving the tip inside of your mouth before taking it out. He loved seeing the way you gasped lightly, obviously not used to this.
This foreign act had your heart hammering in your chest, no clue what to do as the Prince eased his cock in your mouth.
He went slow at first, giving you time to adjust to the new sensation but that didn’t mean he was all that nice. Once he felt the way your lips wrapped around him, so soft and so unsure, he couldn’t help but to thrust deeper, chuckling slightly as you mewled.
He grabbed your hair, and it took everything inside of you not to pull away as his cock slipped down your throat.
You gagged as his tip triggered your reflex. Almost instinctly, your hands came to grab his hips so you’d get better control, sniffling when his cock finally settled all the way in. You could taste his preseed combining with your own spit, making it easier to suck him off.
Though you were a novice at sucking cock—and he could tell—Jace still tried to guide you as best as he could. He used your hair as a way of telling you how you were doing. He squeezed to the point where you cried out if you did something wrong, and he stroked it lovingly if you did it right.
He loved seeing the way that you gagged, you cheeks puffed and wet with tears. In his mind, there was no better position for a bastard like yourself than on your knees, taking your Princes’ cock just the way he commanded.
It made Jace feel powerful to see you cry, obviously struggling but unwilling to disobey your beautiful Prince.
By the time he pulled out, your throat was raw and Jacaerys was on the brink of his peak. Surprisingly though, he held back, giving you moment to breathe before helping you up.
You had just barely caught your breath before the Prince’s lips were on yours again, and you melted into the kiss and tried to hold him tight.
The Prince allowed it, liking how desperate you were to feel him. Of course, it was your naïvety that lead you to act this way, the need to be held by the man who would be your first strong.
You were happy enough when Jace set you down on the bed again. This time, he wasn’t so mean to you as he laid down, grinning as he guided your hips towards him.
It was safe to say that you were confused all over again when he lined your cunt up to his mouth, not to mention, horrified.
“Jacaerys, I’ll…I’ll smuggle you,” You panicked as he grabbed your ass and guided you down, but the only response you got from the Prince was a chuckle.
It sent rippling vibrations against your cunt, making you gasp. You trembled as Jace’s tongue darted out to taste you, crying out as the Prince sucked on a spot you never even knew existed before.
The sheer amount ecstasy that filled your body couldn’t be described, only cherished as Jacaerys got to work.
He lapped at your cunt, making sure to pay attention to your pearl. He loved the way you squirmed as he did, out of breath and desperate as you rode his face.
Your previous worries about possibly suffocating him went away as the pleasure distracted you from caring. You grinded your cunt against the Prince’s sharp nose without a care in the world. Eagerly taking his mouth, and greedily chasing the sensation that was beginning to build in your belly.
It had your legs shaking and your frustrations at an all time high when Jacaerys suddenly pulled away.
He pushed you from his mouth and licked his lips, ignoring the way you whined and reached from him.
Gentle yet firmly, he wrapped an arm around you and flipped you in your back. Now, Jacaerys hovered over you with a hungry look in his amber eyes, smirking lightly as he saw the eager look on your face.
You must have known what was coming as he rubbed his aching tip along your folds, feeling that you were now well prepared enough for him to fuck you. It was with this thought that the Prince finally pushed in, keeping your hips steady and groaning as he sank in.
Instantly, you screwed your eyes shut as he pushed through your barriers. Jacaerys had no clue, no idea that a woman could have been this tight. You seemed to squeeze the very life out of him which threatened to made the Prince cum faster than he wanted to.
In order to savor it, he went slow and you were grateful for it. The pressure between your legs only seemed to grow the more that he pushed in, and finally Jacaerys was forced to acknowledge your maidenhood as you cried out.
He felt something break inside of you as you did, and when he looked down, he cursed at the redness that coated his cock.
“You’re a maiden?” He asked softly, looking more guilty than he ever had as a small yet subtle tear ran down your cheek.
You nodded, your cunt throbbing as you squeezed him desperately.
“Y-Yes,” You sniffled a slight pain spread through your body, wigging to alleviate some of the discomfort. “I’ve never even kissed a man before you, my Prince. I swear!”
Jacaerys moaned as he sunk further inside of you. Kissing both of your cheeks as if to soothe you, and allowing you to bury your sweet face into his neck as he held you. “Gods, how is this even possible? How can a mongrel like your father sire someone so perfect?”
You did not have an answer to that, too caught up in the feeling of being fucked for the first time to respond.
In the beginning, Jacaerys took it slow, letting you adjust to him whilst he peppered your neck with kisses and brushed any tears away. He let you decide when he moved, and once the sting in your lower regions faded away you gave him the okay to do so.
Slowly, he pulled out of you only to sink back in. You whimpered as Jacaerys filled you to the hilt, wrapping your legs around his back to keep him there and capturing his mouth.
As you kissed, you suddenly felt emotions overcome you like never before. Lust, passion, love—it was all too much. It made your head spin in the best ways possible, loving the way Jacaerys used your body, loving the way he fucked you.
It got better the more you began to relax, and eventually your cunt didn’t strain as much to take him. In fact, all of the wetness between your legs allowed Prince Jacaerys to slide in and out with ease, fucking you balls deep every time so that you could feel every thrust. Savor every vein and every inch of his delicious cock.
It had you moaning pathetically and tugging at his hair. Just like you predicted, it was soft underneath your fingertips; silky. The smell of his body and his gorgeous locks could be traced back to the oils he had used this morning, and his scent was just as intoxicating for you as yours was for him.
“Fuck. Tell your Prince how good his cock feels inside of you. Tell me,” Jacaerys demanded. You cried out as he pounded into you harder, feeling him repeatedly hit a spot inside of you that you didn’t even know existed.
It sent jolts of pleasure through your belly, making you squirm and cry out underneath him.
“It feels…it feels amazing! Gods, Jacaerys!” His lips captured yours in a bruising kiss, the sound of the bed creaking as he fucked you echoing through his room.
You held on for dear life, trying to chase that slow building, euphoric feeling in your belly. You weren’t sure what it was, but it had you seeing the stars the moment the tension snapped, wrapping you in a pleasure so hot it momentarily made your body go weak.
Soon enough, Jacaerys’ pace began to grow sloppy, and his hips stilled as he cursed. With the feeling of you cumming and squeezing around him, he couldn’t have lasted longer if he tried. Warm seed spilled inside of you as he also reached his high, muttering incoherent words as he fucked it into you.
You could feel it coating your walls, thick and heavy. It surprised you that he was so careless about finishing inside of you.
After all, he was admednet that all dragonseeds were nothing but bastards and mongrels. Unworthy of his sacred inheritance and bloodline, but now there was a possibility that he could have sired one of his own.
When he rolled off of you, you were afraid that he would kick you out and simply order a Maester to bring you tea. Never to speak of this again, never to hold you again.
Tears pricked your eyes at just the thought of being cast aside so easily, your heart aching. You sniffled as you watched him pull his trousers up, but to your surprise, he did not kick you out.
Still breathing heavily, the Prince poked his head out of the door and called for a maid to clean you up instead. When your dazed and slightly confused eyes met his, he merely smirked.
“I don’t intend to shun you, Y/N, only take reparations. You and your father have my dragons and now I have your maidenhead. I do believe it has been a fair exchange, ānogar hen issa ānogar. Don’t you agree?”
You were too distracted by his lips to respond, but even if you had, you would’ve agreed.
You had a dragon, and now you had the Prince. If that wasn’t enough to keep you satisfied and loyal, then the babe that grew belly certainly would.
Jacaerys thought about this as he pulled away. Quickly, his lips attached themselves to your cheeks, then your neck, and then playfully around your body. When you giggled at the ticklish sensation, pure joy filling your veins, he couldn’t stop himself from smiling as well.
I hope you’re proud, mother. The seeds of loyalty have been sowed tonight indeed.
—
tags 🏷️
@alyssa-dayne
@callsigncrushx
@smithieandy
#house of the dragon#hotd#hotd x reader#jacaerys velaryon#jacaerys velaryon x reader#jacaerys velaryon smut#jacaerys x reader
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// Zayne's Hands
"You've been holding my hand and looking at it for a while now. What have you discovered?"
// summary: confessing to Zayne that you find his hands impossibly attractive. my personal headcanon for how Zayne's hands became his favorite feature.
// content warnings: 18+ (mdni), fluff, pet names, hand holding, smol angst, dry humping, soft-dom elements (cycle tracking).
// a/n: I am feral for an elegant set of man hands and forearms.
x-posted to AO3 - likes, reblogs, comments are always appreciated!
It's a wet and dreary Sunday afternoon, the perfect type of day for staying in and doing absolutely nothing. Zayne is lying snuggled on the sofa with you lounging on his broad chest, lazily scrolling a medical journal on his phone with his left hand, you keeping his right hand occupied by intertwining you own fingers with his and tracing his scars with your soft fingertips.
It's nice to spend some quiet time with each other, he thinks to himself, tilting his head down to plant a gentle kiss on your hair, the clean floral scent of your shampoo filling his nose. "You've been holding my hand and looking at it for a while now. What have you discovered?" He asks you, a hint of teasing to his tone. He expected you to give him some kind of mocking amateur palm reading, but he wasn't prepared for the answer you actually gave him.
"Zaynie, has anyone ever told you that your hands and forearms are just...urgh how do I begin to explain this to you?" You blurt out, burying your face in his chest so that you don't have to make eye contact with him while you're blushing furiously. You do a little too-good of a job of hiding yourself, because you notice that he has gone impossibly still and seems to be holding his breath. You hear his heartbeat thumping away under your cheek and come to a horrid realization that you've miscommunicated to him.
His golden-green eyes stare through the top of your hiding head as his breath catches in his throat at your words, one of his deepest insecurities about himself becoming real and running rampant through his mind. You must find his scars unattractive, he thinks to himself sullenly, his heart starting to feel like a sledgehammer in his chest as self-doubts seep in, making him feel cold. He opens his mouth silently, attempting to find the right words as the frigid silence lingers in the air between you when you suddenly look up at him, face beet red and eyes full of fear and lunge towards his face; your lips collide with his and your noses crush together in a painful lock that makes you both wince but you don't for a second slow your pace despite his yelp of protest.
As your mouth crashes against his, you kiss him passionately and sloppily, planting messy kisses all over his lips, his jaw, his chin and his cheeks, mumbling your apologies to him through your occupied lips. "I worded that so poorly handsome...you have the complete wrong idea of what I meant...please don't think I meant anything negative...I actually meant the opposite I just don't think before I open my mouth sometimes" you plead through kisses. He pulls you back from him slightly, breaking your swollen, kiss-flushed lips from his and his eyes gaze into yours curiously as he tucks your hair back behind your ear.
"What did you mean?" he asks in a small, barely there whisper, his lips brushing against yours, eyes searching you for reassurance. "My hands and forearms are what, exactly, my love?"
You huff a deep breath of embarrassment against his lips and stare back at him, reaching up to cradle his cheeks gently in your palms. "I don't know how to put it into words exactly," you begin helplessly, your cheeks flushing redder, "but something I've always found impossibly attractive on a man are graceful but strong forearms and hands...there's something about that combination of elegance and power that just...does something to me I can't describe."
You watch as Zayne's pupils dilate in shock at your confession and he's staring at you with an impossible to read expression, but those ever-expressive deep eyes of his darken slightly as understanding seeps in. "Go on..." he breathes, a raspy whisper.
"I have no doubt you'll tease me for this for a long time to come, but um," you bite your lip and let out a deep breath before the next statement. "I always had graceful arms and hands like yours on my list of features I wanted my future husband to have."
"...I don't suppose this list also happened to have scars on it?"
How small and soft his voice came out broke your heart. You stared back into his eyes, tears pricking the edges of your waterline that you gave him any reason to doubt how attracted you were to him, even accidentally. "It does now," you say lovingly, stroking your thumb across his cheekbone, smiling at him gently as he nuzzles into your touch. "It got revised when I fell in love with you and decided I wanted to spend my life with you."
You pull yourself up, sitting on his hips straddling his lap and lift your dress up over your head slowly, dropping it onto the floor beside the sofa. Zayne tosses his phone at the coffee table and settles his hands on your thighs, thumbs moving in slow gentle circles as he stares up at you, admiring your body. "What's behind this, y/n?" he asks, a slight smile starting to form in his eyes and you know you've got him back where he should be, in the headspace he belongs in.
"I figured as a man of science you might prefer a practical demonstration of how your scars have no impact on my enjoyment of your hands..." you purr seductively at him, rolling your hips down against his and grinning with pride as you feel him start to swell in response. Zayne rewards you by letting his hands start to roam over your body, trailing delicately up your ribcage to your bra; he squeezes a firm handful of your breast through the lace, rolling his knuckle across your hardening nipple to elicit a gasp from you. His other hand holds your hip firmly, thumb rubbing against the lace edge of your panties as his brow furrows.
Zayne clears his throat. "I forgot to pick up condoms on the way home this morning," he coughs apologetically. You open your mouth to protest, but he squeezes your hip firmly, his strong hands digging into the soft flesh of your thigh. "If my cycle tracking is accurate, you're ovulating so that's out of the question" he counters, knowing that you were about to tell him he didn't really need one, not with you.
"Fine," you huff, grinding yourself down on the seam of his jeans, using the pressure of his growing erection to build friction in the lace of the panties you're starting to soak through. "You owe me a man-handling mister," you grumble with an exaggerated pout.
He laughs in a sinful little chuckle and pinches your nipple through the lace of your bra, clicking his tongue in a playful, reprimanding tone. "Behave, I didn't sacrifice a social life at medical school for all those years to be Mister Li, thank you very much..."
Your trump card is played.
"Sorry...Sir."
Your pulse quickens with desire and satisfaction as you feel Zayne get harder between your thighs and you see his pupils dilate further at the honorific. He'll never admit it to you that it has such an effect on him, but you caught the effect of calling him sir once and now you keep it in your back pocket for times when you really want to drive him wild. You got the exact response you were hoping for by playing it, because he slides his hand across from your hip and starts rubbing your sensitive swollen clit through the wet lace of your panties; his large strong thumb applying pressure and rubbing tight circles.
A soft sigh escapes your lips as you grind down on his erection in his jeans and press yourself against his thumb, rocking your hips to ease the ache forming between your thighs, an ache you know for now he won't let you quench. Sliding your hands down, you clasp his tightly, fingers intertwining with him, holding his hands and use it as leverage to start grinding yourself with intent against his ever-tightening jeans.
Zayne lets out a little moan as you ride him, squeezing his hands tightly in yours and his ears start to flush red as he feels your slick wetness start to leak from the sopping wet lace of your panties onto his jeans, darkening the black denim over his erection as your juices spread. He ruts his hips upwards, increasing the friction you both feel through the denim and lace and he knows his cock is leaking precum into his boxer briefs, feeling it ooze down his shaft to pool into his pubic hair.
Your whimpers and moans become needier above him and he knows from the way your hips start to hitch and your thighs tremble that you're close to an orgasm; he lifts interlocked fingers out over his head, forcing you down to kiss him, bucking his hips up into you and moaning against your warm wet lips, tongue dancing across yours in teasing flickers, just like it would if it were dancing across your swollen little bud. You realize exactly what he's doing with his tongue and you cry out in torment, but it's swallowed by his lips and his tongue as he groans back at you.
Feeling your heat coil and snap, you start to come undone, throbbing clit making your soaked walls grasp at nothing as your orgasm roils through your hips, his kisses suffocating the loud moaning of his name out of your lips as soon as they're voiced and then he's joining you; tensing underneath you, hips bucking in a stutter as he clenches his eyes shut pressing his forehead against yours, his whimpering breath hot on your lips.
"Assessment complete, Doc-tor?" he pants teasingly, nuzzling his nose into your ear and kissing at your earlobe.
"You should really read the hospital's code of conduct."
#lnds zayne#love and deepspace zayne#zayne love and deepspace#love and deepspace headcanons#love and deepspace imagines#zayne x mc#love and deepspace imagine#zayne x reader#lnds x reader#zayne x you#love and deepspace fluff#zayne smut#zayne fluff#love and deepspace smut#love and deepspace x reader#18+ mdni#love and deepspace#lads zayne#lads#love and deep space
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LOVE IS THE ONE THING THAT CANNOT BE TAINTED BY FEAR OR DOUBT──FATHER CHARLIE MAYHEW (part 2)
part one!!
for this request!!
─ summary | a week after megan caught you and father charlie, higher-ranking members of the church summon both of you for a stern warning. they threaten severe consequences—not just losing your positions, but eternal damnation—if you don't end your affair, and though you try to stay composed, charlie's anger flares as he refuses to accept their condemnation
─ pairing | father charlie mayhew x fem!mother!reader
─ word count | 5.3k
─ warnings | pretty angsty + dramatic but has a happy ending, forbidden love, descriptions of having a big family. also wanted to put out there that this in no way shape or form trying to depict the church as something bad, every church is different and this is just fictional and very self-indulgent.
─ ev's notes | my requests are open if you wanna send anything in! this was super self indulgent and i swear i say that every time but it's true. the happy ending was sorta like... my happy ending LMAO but i just wanted them to end up together. this was super fast paced (ik... 5k words and """fast paced""") but if u read it, you'll know what i mean.
ok love u bye!!! pls send me requests!!!!!!
⇨ missing out on updates? check out my masterlist!
Father Charlie’s face is pale, his eyes wide with fear as the weight of what just happened begins to settle between you. The churchyard, once a sanctuary, now feels like a trap. You stand there, unable to move, your heart pounding in your ears.
“Megan—” you try to call out, your voice catching in your throat, but she’s already gone, disappearing into the shadows of the church.
Father Charlie turns to you, his hand trembling as he runs it through his hair. “This… this can’t get out. It’ll ruin everything,” he says, his voice breaking under the pressure. He paces, eyes darting toward the church doors as if expecting Megan to reappear any moment with a crowd of witnesses.
Your chest tightens. You know what’s at stake—the life you’ve both built within the church, the delicate balance of your roles, the unspoken rules you’ve crossed. There’s no undoing what’s been done.
“I didn’t mean—” you begin, but he cuts you off, stepping closer, his hands gripping your arms with desperate intensity.
“It’s not your fault,” he says, his voice urgent. “I should have never let it get this far. But Megan… she can’t know. No one can know.”
You nod, but the truth gnaws at you. This wasn’t just a fleeting moment of weakness. The kiss—the feelings behind it—have been building for longer than you want to admit. And now that the barrier has been broken, there’s no pretending you can go back to how things were.
“What if she tells?” you ask, your voice barely a whisper.
Father Charlie’s eyes meet yours, his face full of guilt and something else, something darker—a simmering fear. “I’ll talk to her. I’ll make sure she doesn’t say anything.”
The way he says it makes your stomach twist. You’ve never seen him like this, so cornered, so desperate. For a brief moment, you wonder if you’ve unleashed something in him that can’t be controlled.
“I have to fix this,” he mutters more to himself than to you, already starting to move toward the church, determination in his stride. “Go home. Don’t come back until I say it’s safe.”
You open your mouth to protest, but the look in his eyes stops you. There’s no room for discussion. The weight of your guilt, mingled with fear, presses heavy on your chest as you turn and leave, knowing that the fragile world you both clung to is about to shatter.
As you walk away from the church, the echoes of the kiss linger on your lips, but now they taste bitter—haunted by the knowledge that you’ve crossed a line you can never uncross. And Megan, with her watchful eyes, has seen it all.
The walk from the church feels impossibly long, every step weighed down by the suffocating pressure of what’s just transpired. The once-bright sky has dimmed into muted shades of twilight, the air thick with impending doom. You can feel the weight of it pressing against your chest, making it hard to breathe. The churchyard, so familiar and comforting just moments ago, now seems cold, distant—like it’s pushing you away.
You glance back once, just once, and catch sight of Charlie disappearing into the stone walls of the church. His movements are hurried, frantic, and it only makes the knot in your stomach tighten. You know he’s going to confront Megan. You know he’ll do everything in his power to convince her to stay silent, to protect both of you, but the seed of doubt has already taken root. What if she doesn’t listen? What if Megan has already spread word of what she saw?
The fear claws at your insides.
You replay the moment over and over in your mind—the kiss, the way his lips had pressed against yours with a hunger that had long been suppressed, the heat of his body against yours. It was more than a moment of weakness; it was the culmination of everything you had been hiding, everything you’d tried to bury under the weight of duty. You had always known there was something between you and Charlie, but you had told yourself it was nothing, that it could never be anything more than unspoken glances and the occasional brush of hands. But now, the truth is undeniable.
You love him.
And it terrifies you.
As you turn the corner, moving further away from the church and deeper into the quiet streets, you try to suppress the panic building inside you. You force yourself to breathe, slow and steady, even as the thought of what comes next twists and knots in your chest. Megan… she had seen everything. Her eyes, wide with shock and something close to betrayal, flashed in your mind like a warning. She would never understand. She couldn’t. To her, this wasn’t just a mistake or a lapse in judgment—it was blasphemy, a defilement of everything sacred.
You walk faster, as if the distance could somehow cleanse you of what just happened, but the weight of your sins follows you, heavy and unrelenting. By the time you reach your small, modest home, the last of the daylight is gone. The darkness feels fitting, like a cloak draped over the truth you’re so desperate to hide.
You fumble with the key, your hands trembling, and push open the door. Inside, the space feels too small, too confining. The walls close in around you, suffocating in their familiarity. You collapse onto the nearest chair, your mind racing, trying to make sense of what comes next.
You think of Megan again, the way she had slipped away so quickly, disappearing into the shadows like a ghost. What had she seen? How much had she heard? Would she go to the elders? To the congregation? Your stomach churns at the thought of everyone knowing, their judgmental eyes stripping you bare, seeing you for what you truly are—a sinner. You can already picture the looks, the whispers that would follow, the way they’d turn on you. And Charlie—God, what would happen to him? His role as a priest, his entire life, would be torn apart if this got out.
You can’t let that happen.
But no matter how much you try to focus, your thoughts keep pulling back to him. To the way he looked at you in those moments after Megan had fled. His face, pale with fear, but his eyes… they had been filled with something more than just panic. There had been a tenderness there, a quiet desperation, as if he had wanted to say something, to comfort you, but the words had been lost in the gravity of the situation. And now, the distance between you feels like a chasm, one that neither of you can cross until you know what Megan will do.
The hours stretch on in painful silence. You sit by the window, staring out into the night, your heart heavy with dread. Every sound, every rustle of wind, makes you jump, half-expecting someone to come knocking at your door, to drag you back to the church and expose your sin to the world. But no one comes. The night is as still as your breath, suspended in an unbearable waiting.
You wonder how Charlie is faring. Is he talking to Megan right now? Is he pleading with her, trying to make her understand? Or is it too late—has she already made up her mind? The uncertainty gnaws at you, each minute that passes feeling like an eternity.
The quiet is suddenly interrupted by a soft knock at the door. You freeze, your heart stopping for a beat, your blood running cold. For a moment, you can’t move, can’t breathe. Then, slowly, you rise from the chair, your body moving on instinct. You approach the door with trembling hands, every step echoing like a drumbeat in the stillness of the house.
When you open it, Charlie stands on the other side.
His face is pale, his eyes dark and sunken, as though he’s aged years in the span of a few hours. His expression is grim, but beneath the weariness, there’s something else—something raw, something desperate. He steps inside without a word, closing the door behind him, and the weight of everything that’s happened settles between you.
“What happened?” you ask, your voice barely a whisper.
For a long moment, he doesn’t speak. His hands are shaking, and you notice the way he clenches them into fists, trying to steady himself. “She’s not going to tell anyone,” he finally says, but his voice is hollow, and you know that’s not the whole story.
You take a step closer, searching his face for answers. “What did you say to her?”
Charlie’s eyes meet yours, and there’s a flicker of something dark in them—something you haven’t seen before. “I made sure she understood,” he says, but there’s no relief in his voice. No victory. Only guilt.
Your stomach tightens as his words sink in. You want to believe him, to trust that everything will be okay now, but the look in his eyes tells you that nothing will ever be the same. Not between you. Not between him and the church. And certainly not between him and Megan.
The silence stretches on, thick and heavy with unspoken truths, and you realize that whatever you thought you were protecting has already been lost. The kiss, the secret moments, the connection between you and Charlie—it’s all unraveling, piece by piece, and there’s no going back now.
You don’t know what he did. And you’re not sure you want to.
All you know is that something has shifted between you, and the fragile world you’ve built together is starting to crack.
“I… I couldn’t let her ruin this,” he says, his voice low and almost pleading. He takes a step closer, his hand reaching out to cup your face gently, his thumb brushing over your cheek as though he’s trying to memorize the feel of your skin beneath his fingertips. “You have no idea what you mean to me.”
You swallow hard, your heart thudding in your chest. There’s a rawness to his words, a vulnerability that you’ve never seen in him before, and it makes the knot in your throat tighten. “Charlie,” you whisper, your voice barely audible, but he shakes his head, cutting you off.
“No,” he says, his voice firmer now, more certain. “You need to hear this. I love you.” The words hang between you, heavy and full of meaning. His eyes search yours, as though he’s terrified of what your response might be, but at the same time, there’s a conviction in him that tells you he’s been holding onto this for far too long.
Your breath catches in your throat, and for a moment, the world falls away. The fear, the uncertainty, the guilt—it all fades into the background, and all that’s left is the truth. He loves you.
And God help you, you love him too.
“I love you, too,” you finally say, the words slipping out in a rush, like a dam breaking. The weight of them is staggering, but also freeing, as though admitting it has somehow lifted the burden from your chest.
Charlie’s eyes soften, and in that moment, the darkness, the fear, everything that’s been hanging over you both seems to dissolve, leaving only the two of you in this fragile, stolen moment.
He pulls you closer, his lips brushing against your forehead, then your temple, and finally, he presses a soft kiss to your lips. It’s tender, sweet, and laced with the kind of love that’s been simmering beneath the surface for far too long. For a few precious seconds, you allow yourself to get lost in him—the warmth of his body, the way his hands cradle your face like you’re something fragile and precious. There’s no guilt in this kiss, no shame. Just love.
But as sweet as it is, there’s still a bitter edge, the reminder of what’s been lost. The weight of what happened earlier, of Megan’s watchful eyes, lingers like a shadow over your joy. You pull back slightly, your heart aching as you search his face for reassurance.
“What are we going to do?” you ask, the question heavy with fear and uncertainty.
Charlie lets out a soft sigh, his hand still resting against your cheek. “I don’t know,” he admits quietly. “But we’ll figure it out. Together.”
The simplicity of his words settles over you, warm and comforting, but the reality of the situation isn’t so easily dismissed. You know the risks, the consequences that loom over both of you like a dark cloud, but right now, in this moment, with his arms wrapped around you, it feels like you can face anything.
He leans his forehead against yours, closing his eyes as though he’s savoring the closeness, the peace that you’ve found in each other, if only for this fleeting moment. “I don’t care what happens,” he whispers. “As long as I have you.”
Tears prick at the corners of your eyes, a mixture of happiness and sorrow, because you know that this love—the love you’ve both fought so hard to deny—is as beautiful as it is dangerous. The church, the life you’ve built, the faith that has defined you for so long—it all stands in opposition to what you feel for each other. And yet, here you are, standing on the precipice, ready to fall.
“I’m scared,” you admit softly, your voice trembling.
Charlie pulls you tighter against him, his breath warm against your skin. “So am I,” he confesses, his voice breaking just a little. “But I won’t lose you. Not now. Not ever.”
You stay like that for what feels like hours, wrapped in each other’s arms, finding solace in the quiet, in the shared heartbeat that thumps in time with your own. For once, it feels like you’re not fighting against the world, but standing together, ready to face whatever comes next.
But the bitterness still lingers, a quiet reminder that nothing about this is simple. The danger hasn’t passed, and Megan’s silence, though promised, may not last forever. You both know that this moment—this love—comes with a cost.
Still, for now, you allow yourself to hold on to the sweetness of it, to the warmth of his embrace, and the knowledge that whatever happens next, you won’t face it alone.
───
The bells toll, echoing through the towering walls of the old church, signaling the end of Sunday Mass. Parishioners, still murmuring prayers under their breath, make their way toward the grand double doors, their heads dipped in reverence. The air is thick with incense, mingling with the faint scent of candle wax, and the murmured conversations of the faithful filter out as they depart.
You stand by the altar, adjusting your habit, feeling the familiar weight of responsibility settle over you. It had been a week since the kiss—since Megan’s eyes had caught the forbidden moment. You and Father Charlie had been careful, the tension between you palpable but unspoken. There was no room for slip-ups now, not with what was at stake.
But just as you turn to head back toward the sacristy, you notice something that sends a chill through you. A group of clergy—men dressed in higher clerical vestments, their expressions stern and unyielding—are making their way toward the two of you. The archbishop, Father Lucian, leads them, his presence commanding and severe, a man of high standing in the church, second only to the bishop himself. Behind him are two more senior priests, Father Augustine and Monsignor Ramos, known for their strict adherence to church doctrine.
Charlie stands frozen for a moment, his usual calm demeanor stiffening as he recognizes the gravity of what’s about to happen. His eyes meet yours briefly, and in that split second, you both know. They know.
Father Lucian stops in front of you, his hands clasped behind his back. His face is impassive, but the weight of his gaze is suffocating, filled with judgment and a quiet, simmering disappointment. The silence stretches on, unbearable, until finally, he speaks.
“Father Charles,” Lucian’s voice is deep and resonant, cutting through the stillness like a blade. “Mother Y/N. We need to speak.”
Charlie straightens, his jaw set in that familiar stubborn way, but his eyes flicker with something darker—anger, perhaps, or fear. You step closer to him, your heart hammering in your chest.
“We’ve been made aware of certain… transgressions,” Father Lucian continues, his voice cold, deliberate. “Ones that go against the very foundation of your vows—vows of purity, of dedication to God and His teachings.”
Father Charlie’s hands tighten into fists at his sides, though he doesn’t say anything yet. His silence, however, feels like the calm before a storm.
“We’ve heard unsettling rumors,” Monsignor Ramos says, his voice carrying a softer, but no less menacing tone. “Of inappropriate closeness between the two of you. Intimacies that have no place within these sacred walls.”
Your stomach drops, the air around you suddenly feeling too thick, too stifling. The weight of their accusation presses against your chest, suffocating.
Father Augustine steps forward, his eyes sharp with accusation. “You both took vows before God,” he says, his voice unwavering. “To forsake earthly temptations for a higher calling. But what we’ve witnessed… it is not the first time such weakness has crept into the church. We cannot allow it to continue.”
You want to speak, to defend yourself, but your throat tightens, and words fail you. Beside you, Charlie’s breathing grows heavier, his anger barely contained.
“If you do not end this… affair immediately,” Father Lucian says, his voice dropping, “there will be consequences far worse than dismissal. You will not only lose your positions here, but you will face the eternal damnation of your souls. Your actions are not just a violation of church law but of God’s law. Do you understand?”
The implications hit you like a blow—hell. They’re threatening you with eternal punishment.
Father Charlie, who had remained silent until now, suddenly takes a step forward, his voice trembling with anger. “And who are you,” he says, his voice low but dangerous, “to tell us about the state of our souls?”
The senior clergy exchange glances, surprised at his defiance. But Charlie continues, his voice growing stronger. “Yes, we broke our vows. But this—what we feel—it's not some… sinful temptation. It’s love. And I won’t stand here and let you condemn us without knowing what’s in our hearts.”
Father Lucian’s eyes narrow, and for a moment, the tension is palpable. “Father Charles, you forget your place,” he says coldly. “This is not a matter of love. It is a matter of duty. Of obedience. You swore your life to God, not to your desires.”
“I didn’t swear my life to a prison,” Charlie snaps, his voice shaking with fury. “I swore my life to serve God, to care for people. But you—you’d rather see us as sinners than as human beings.”
“Father Charles,” Monsignor Ramos says, his voice hardening, “you are speaking out of turn.”
“No,” Charlie interrupts, turning to you, his hand reaching for yours without hesitation. “I’m speaking the truth. I won’t let you use God as a weapon to control us.”
Your hand grips his tightly, and despite the cold sweat trickling down your spine, you feel an odd sense of strength radiating from him. The threat of hellfire lingers in the air, but for the first time, it doesn’t feel so terrifying with him standing beside you.
Father Lucian’s gaze hardens, his lips thinning into a severe line. “This is your final warning. End this now, or face the consequences.”
Charlie stares back at him, unwavering. “I’d rather face hell,” he says softly, “than live a lie.”
The silence that follows is deafening, the weight of his words hanging between you and the clergy like a challenge. They stand, frozen for a moment, taken aback by his refusal. The unspoken threat remains—hell, ruin, the dismantling of everything you’ve both worked for.
But for the first time in a long time, you don’t feel afraid. You look at Charlie, his face set in defiance, and something inside you shifts. Maybe this is the beginning of the end, but it’s also the beginning of something else—something true, something worth fighting for.
The silence stretches unbearably in the cold churchyard, the tension thick as a storm building on the horizon. The senior clergy stare at Charlie, their expressions hard, almost disbelieving that he’s standing against them. Father Lucian’s eyes narrow further, but his voice remains steady, with a chilling authority.
“You are not beyond redemption,” he says, the words deliberate, cutting. “But defiance will not save you from the consequences of your actions. Think carefully before you decide to sacrifice everything—your calling, your salvation—for something so… fleeting.”
Charlie’s grip tightens around your hand. He doesn’t flinch, doesn’t back down. His next words, however quiet, carry an unshakable resolve. “I’ve already decided. I won’t live a life of half-truths. If that’s what it takes to serve God here, then I’ll find my own way.”
Father Augustine inhales sharply, looking between you and Charlie with something resembling disappointment—or perhaps disdain. “This will not go unpunished,” he mutters, his tone cold and unyielding. “There are consequences for every action, Father Charles. You’ve been warned.”
Without another word, the three clergymen turn on their heels and leave, their footsteps echoing ominously against the stone floor of the church. The weight of their warning lingers, even after they disappear into the distance.
You and Charlie stand there, unmoving, his hand still wrapped tightly around yours. The tension in his body slowly ebbs, though his grip remains firm, as if he’s grounding himself in this moment, in you. The sky above is clear, but there’s a storm brewing, one you can’t ignore any longer.
“Charlie…” you whisper, your voice barely audible over the quiet rustling of leaves in the courtyard. “What are we going to do?”
He exhales deeply, his shoulders dropping as he turns to face you fully. His eyes search yours, filled with the same mixture of love and uncertainty that’s been building between you since that night in the church. “I don’t know,” he admits, his voice softer now, the fire from before replaced with a gentle resignation. “But I know I can’t lose you. Not like this.”
You feel the same pull in your chest, the same conflicted desire that’s been tearing you apart. Everything you’ve built within the church, every vow you’ve taken—it’s all crumbling around you. But Charlie… he’s the one thing that still feels real, the one person you’ve come to rely on, to love in ways you never expected.
“I can’t lose you either,” you admit, your throat tight, emotions swirling in a confusing blur. “But they’re right… If we keep going like this, it won’t just be losing our positions. It’ll be worse.”
Charlie’s gaze darkens for a moment, as if weighing the enormity of it all. He steps closer, lifting his hand to gently cradle your face, his thumb brushing your cheek in a tender, almost reverent motion. “I know the risks,” he says, his voice steady, filled with an unshakable determination. “But the risk of not having you in my life… that’s worse.”
You close your eyes at his touch, leaning into the warmth of his hand. His words wrap around your heart, pulling you closer to the edge of something you can’t take back.
───
The decision had been made in a heartbeat, almost too quickly for either of you to process. One moment, you were standing in the courtyard, exchanging quiet promises of love and loyalty; the next, you were both packing your modest belongings in a small room that had been your sanctuary for years.
Charlie’s movements were hurried but deliberate, his usual calm demeanor now laced with an urgency that mirrored your own. You threw robes and personal items into a small bag, your heart pounding as the reality of your situation sank in.
“We can’t stay here,” he had said, his voice shaking with conviction. “Not after that. If we don’t leave now, they’ll find a way to tear us apart.”
You agreed, knowing deep down that the church, once a symbol of comfort and belonging, had become a prison. It wasn’t just Megan’s spying or the warnings from the senior clergy—it was everything. The suffocating weight of the vows, the whispered rumors, the constant feeling of being watched. You couldn’t breathe here anymore.
The room, usually filled with quiet prayer and reflection, was now buzzing with the frantic energy of departure. Charlie stopped for a moment, watching you from across the room. His eyes were dark, filled with an intensity you had rarely seen before. He came closer, brushing his hand across your cheek, tilting your chin so that you met his gaze.
“Are you sure about this?” he asked, his voice quieter now, more vulnerable. “We’re leaving everything behind.”
You nodded, heart pounding, but with a certainty that surprised even you. “I’m sure. I can’t stay here, Charlie. Not without you. Not like this.”
He pressed his forehead against yours, closing his eyes as if savoring the moment, as if holding on to this fragile piece of certainty before everything crumbled.
“We’ll be alright,” he whispered, his breath warm against your skin. “We’ll find a way. Together.”
You smiled, a bittersweet knot forming in your chest. The thought of leaving everything you’d known was terrifying—but the thought of staying, of pretending, of hiding this love… that was worse.
A knock at the door startled you both, and your heart leapt in your chest. You turned to the door, half expecting to see Father Lucian or another member of the clergy, ready to drag you back into the suffocating confines of the church’s judgment.
But it was Megan.
Her eyes were wide, but there was something softer in her gaze now—something you hadn’t seen before. She hesitated in the doorway, her hand lingering on the knob as she looked between you and Charlie.
“I—I heard,” she stammered, her voice barely above a whisper. “You’re leaving?”
Charlie tensed beside you, but you took a step forward, your heart racing. “Megan… I know what you saw. I know what you think, but—”
She shook her head, cutting you off. “No. It’s not that. I—” Her voice faltered, and she took a deep breath, glancing at Charlie before continuing. “I’m not here to stop you. I just… I just wanted to say I understand. I don’t agree with it, but I understand why you’re doing this.”
You blinked, taken aback. Megan, the one who had spied on you, who had been so suspicious of your every move, was standing here, offering understanding. It felt surreal.
“I’m not going to tell anyone,” she added softly. “But if you’re really leaving, you need to go now. They’ll come looking for you.”
Charlie’s hand found yours, squeezing it tightly. You felt a rush of gratitude toward Megan, despite everything that had happened between you. Her warning, her silence—it was an unexpected act of kindness.
“Thank you,” you whispered, the words feeling heavy with meaning.
She nodded once, her eyes lingering on you for a moment longer before she turned and left, her footsteps echoing down the hallway.
You turned to Charlie, your breath catching in your throat. “It’s time.”
He nodded, his jaw set, determination burning in his eyes. “Let’s go.”
Together, you walked out of the room, leaving behind the life you had known, the vows you had once believed in, and the future you had thought was certain. The church, once towering and holy, now felt like a distant memory as you stepped into the world beyond its gates.
You didn’t know what would come next—where you would go or what you would do—but with Charlie by your side, the fear didn’t seem quite as overwhelming. You had each other. And for now, that was enough.
EPILOGUE
The sun was beginning to set, casting a warm golden glow across the rolling hills and fields that stretched beyond your front porch. The house you now called home sat nestled against a small grove of trees, a place you’d never imagined, yet somehow felt destined to find.
A soft breeze rustled through the open windows, carrying with it the distant laughter of children playing in the yard. You smiled, leaning against the wooden railing as you watched them—a picture of the life you had once dreamed of, now fully realized.
Two little girls, their dark curls bouncing in the breeze, were chasing after their younger brother, their giggles filling the air. They were so full of energy, so full of life. The kind of life you had longed for back when everything felt so suffocating, back when the idea of having a family seemed distant and impossible.
Behind you, the front door creaked open, and Charlie stepped out, two mugs of tea in his hands. His face, though older and more weathered now, still held that same softness that had always drawn you to him. He passed you a cup and wrapped an arm around your waist, his chin resting on your shoulder as he watched the scene unfold before you.
You smiled, leaning into him, your heart swelling with contentment. This was the dream you had once shared with him, whispered between kisses when the future seemed so uncertain. But now, here it was—tangible, real. Your two daughters, as spirited and wild as you had imagined, and your son, a bundle of mischief with Charlie’s inquisitive nature.
You stood there in comfortable silence, watching as your eldest, a curious seven-year-old, tried to corral her younger siblings with all the seriousness of someone far beyond her years. The younger girl, barely five, kept bursting into fits of giggles, while your three-year-old son—always a handful—tumbled into the grass, quickly distracted by the dogs.
It was a far cry from the life you had left behind, from the cold stone walls of the church and the whispers of judgment. You had built this life together—away from the suffocating expectations, the prying eyes, and the fear. Out here, in this open space, you were free to be who you truly were, without shame, without fear of punishment.
Charlie turned his head slightly, brushing his lips against your cheek. “You’re happy?”
You looked up at him, your heart swelling with so much love it almost hurt. “I am,” you whispered, reaching up to touch his face. “I really am.”
He smiled, his eyes softening in the way they always did when he looked at you—filled with a love that had only grown stronger over the years. You still had your moments of doubt, of course—those nights when the past crept in, when the memory of everything you’d left behind tugged at your mind. But then you would look at him, at the children you had brought into the world, and it would all disappear.
Charlie pulled you closer, his arms wrapping around you as the children’s laughter echoed through the evening air. The weight of the past had faded into something distant, something that didn’t define you anymore.
This was your future now—a family, a home filled with love and laughter. You had chosen this life, together, and it was better than any dream you had ever dared to hope for.
As the sun dipped lower, painting the sky in hues of pink and orange, your eldest daughter ran up to you, her cheeks flushed with excitement. “Mama! Look what we found!”
She held up a small flower she had picked from the yard, and you crouched down to examine it, your heart swelling with pride at her joy over such a simple thing.
“It’s beautiful,” you told her, smoothing back a stray curl from her face.
She beamed, darting off again to join her siblings, and you stood back up, feeling Charlie’s presence beside you, steady and strong.
“Two daughters, a son, and two dogs,” he repeated softly, his voice filled with that same awe he always carried when he talked about your family. “You’ve always had the best dreams.”
You leaned into him, your fingers intertwined, as the last light of the day faded. “And you’ve always made them come true.”
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sure thing – part one.
pairing: yang jungwon x f reader
genre: coworkers au, underground boxer jungwon
part one word count: 12.9k
warnings: swearing, descriptions/depictions of physical violence, blood and minor injuries, jealousy, a bit of a love triangle I’m SORRY, blonde boxer jungwon because yes I think that does warrant a warning, I had to split this into 2 parts because post block limit got me everyone say BOOOOO TUMBLR!!!!!!
note: this is what happens when you watch the no doubt music video and then also listen to too much chase atlantic. ALSO let me duck before the sacred monsters readers start throwing tomatoes at me I PROMISE I am working on part 4 I just... had this idea and it would not leave me alone. but cheers to another fantastic enhypen release (daydream and no doubt are both on repeat for meeeeee) and to my first jungwon fic. enjoy!
⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖
An employee in the marketing department of a large company, your days are filled with poorly worded emails, unrealistic deadlines, and passive aggressive friendly reminders from your superiors. On a particularly awful afternoon, a chance encounter with a coworker from the programming department down the hall is the first thing to make you smile in weeks.
But the more you uncover about Yang Jungwon and his mysterious injuries, flimsy excuses, and always occupied Friday nights, the more you begin to realize that you really don’t know him at all.
⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖
The printer is jammed.
It takes a very exaggerated eye roll and an embarrassing amount of self control to refrain from kicking the damn thing. Besides, you’re pretty sure your previous wording was too kind.
Because a more accurate depiction of the situation would be:
The printer is jammed. Again.
You’re not sure which cruel deity is responsible for the creation of Monday afternoons, but you’re sure they’re laughing at you now. Dressed in business casual and praying against all odds that the clock hanging on the office wall will start ticking a little faster, you almost wish the ground would open up and swallow you whole. Spare you from your misery
And it’s not like a jammed printer is the end of the world. From a logical, unbiased point of view, you’re sure it’s nothing but a small, easily solvable problem.
But it’s four pm on a Monday afternoon and you’ve had back-to-back meetings since you clocked in at eight this morning. The only real break you had lasted twelve minutes. Most of which were spent dabbing coffee stains from your blouse after Terry from accounting knocked into you in the staff kitchen.
Your head is pounding and your feet are aching and your bladder is overly full and your left bra strap is starting to dig into your shoulder in a way that is entirely too overstimulating.
And you really, really just need this report to print.
After all, your boss made it very clear that you would not be clocking out for the day, no matter what hour of the evening it is, until said document is laid on his desk. Never mind the fact that you weren’t made aware of this demand until a handful of hours ago.
So yeah, the printer jamming – again – does kind of feel like the end of the world.
The screen is still flashing with an angry reminder to fix the paper jam in Tray 2. The instructions are starting to blur a little as you furiously blink away hot tears.
You won’t cry at work. You won’t.
But your exhaustion is catching up with you, and the first thing it usually takes with it is your control over your emotions.
The more you try to will them away, the more insistently they want to escape.
Bent over the printer, you’re in the middle of trying to dislodge a particularly stubborn piece of A4 when the first tear finally does escape. It falls in a thick, wet train down the length of your cheek, settling for a moment at the base of your chin before dripping, a little pathetically, right onto the stack of papers in the printer tray.
Your hands go slack on the sheet you’re warring with.
For a moment, all you can do is sigh. Hang your head and hope some higher power takes pity on you.
Stressed, burnt out, overworked. This was not how you thought you’d be spending your early twenties. But a salary is a salary, and fighting with an inanimate object on the worst day of the week keeps your lights on and your stomach full.
Hunched over, you’re suddenly glad that the printer is kept in a separate room outside of the main office space. That there are no witnesses to your slightly pathetic meltdown.
Save for a few, it’s not like you care all that much about what your coworkers think of you. But the last thing you need to add to this day is a fresh bout of humiliation.
Just one more minute, you tell yourself. One more minute of silence before you pull yourself together and finish dislodging the stupid piece of paper.
It must be at least 4:10 by now, which means you have less than an hour to go. You can do it. You can. You just need one more minute of silen–
“Everything okay?”
The sudden intrusion is so startling that your head jerks up in a subconscious reaction. Only, of course, to be met with the open printer tray you’re currently trying to troubleshoot.
The clunk that echoes through the tiny printer room as your temple comes in direct contact with hard plastic is almost as loud as it is painful.
“Ah,” you wince, hand instinctively flying to the side of your head.
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry, ____.” You’re not sure if your hesitation comes from embarrassment or the fact that you head is still spinning. Either way, you’re slow to move as you look up at your sudden audience.
Over your shoulder, Yang Jungwon has nothing but apologies written all over his delicate features. Brow pulling into a concerned frown, he’s quick to kneel to your level.
If anyone was going to find you like this, you suppose you’re glad it was him. A recent hire fresh out of university, Jungwon has carved out a quiet kind of reputation for himself in the office.
His presence isn’t commanding, but it is steady. The kind of person that you never see get worked up or angry or even annoyed no matter how many last minute deadlines are assigned or how many printers get jammed when he really needs to use them.
And from what you’ve gathered, he mostly keeps to himself. It’s not from a lack of effort on your coworkers’ behalf. You know firsthand that he’s been invited to multiple post work gatherings and weekend events.
His popularity doesn’t exactly surprise you. Even with his quiet demeanor, he has a striking presence. One that makes you curious, leaves you wanting to know more.
Never mind the fact that he’s absolutely gorgeous.
Still, despite their efforts, you also know that he’s politely declined each and every invitation without ever giving any real explanation.
In all honesty, you’ve always just assumed there was a girlfriend he was eager to run home to.
But even that is nothing more than a mindless assumption. After all, you’ve only had a few interactions with him, and nothing beyond the typical small talk all office workers develop a talent for.
Even now, he makes the simple button down and slacks he’s wearing look like they came right from a runway.
You’re not quite sure why, but it almost makes you want to cry harder.
At the very least, you’re pretty sure you don’t need to worry about rumors of you having a minor meltdown in the printer room spreading through the office. Jungwon might be a hot topic of office gossip, but he’s not one to spread it.
“I am so sorry,” he repeats, “I didn’t mean to startle you.” His words are spilling out a bit too fast, blurring into each other around the edges. “I just saw you in here, and I couldn’t tell if you were okay or not, so I wanted to–”
“Jungwon,” you interrupt. There’s no kind way of telling him that his rambling is only making your headache worse. That it’s only making your tears fall faster. Instead, you abet his misplaced guilt. “It’s okay. I’m fine.”
A bit shakily, you muster up your most convincing smile. But your smudged mascara, slightly puffy eyelids, and still visible tear track suggest otherwise.
Jungwon’s brow just pulls together a little further. “Are you sure?” He’s unconvinced. Taking a wary glance at the printer tray, he looks back to you with concern in his eyes. “That sounded like it hurt.”
“Really,” you force another weak smile. “I’m sure.”
“Can I at least take a look at it?” Guilt is still written plain as day across his face.
Assuming he’s referring to the printer, you nod before taking one big scooch to the side. Within the confines of this tiny room, it only puts you closer to him.
And it takes less than a second for you to realize your assumption was wrong. Because Jungwon doesn’t reach for that stupid piece of A4 still jammed inside Tray 2 or even the printer tray that just nearly concussed you.
No, instead, his long fingers trek a steady path towards your hand. The one that still rests against your temple. Gently, he pries it away, replacing it with his own careful touch.
You’re all but immobile as gentle fingers press lightly against the side of your face, adjusting it slightly. His fingers are cool, soothing as he turns your injury towards the overhead light.
Pliant in his hands, it’s all you can do to watch as his brow furrows in concentration, eyes scanning over your skin. Taking the skin of your bottom lip between your teeth, you pray he doesn’t notice the sudden heat in your cheeks.
From this angle, with this proximity, you can practically count his eyelashes. They’re long, you notice. Long and wispy where they frame his dark eyes.
“No broken skin,” he finally asserts. You can feel his breath against your skin. It takes nearly all your concentration to suppress the shiver that threatens to trace your spine. “But I wouldn’t be surprised if it bruises. There’s a bit of swelling, too. Keep an eye on it these next few days, and let me know if it doesn’t go down on its own.”
You’re not exactly sure if Jungwon – quiet, gentle Jungwon – would be the first person you’d go to for first aid advice, but you nod anyway.
And you’re not sure where it comes from, the sudden urge to cry again. But somewhere between the pain in your head and the soft probing of his fingers against your skin, emotions are starting to bubble beneath your stoic facade.
It’s subtle, barely perceivable, but you can feel your bottom lip beginning to quiver.
Much to your unending humiliation, you’re not the only one who notices.
You’re not sure how he does, but he does.
“Hey,” Jungwon tries. His hand is still on your face. His voice is impossibly soft, and it only makes you want to cry harder. You feel like a skittish kitten he’s trying to lure in from a rainstorm.
His lips part as if he’s going to continue. They fall shut again before he can.
Something in his brow softens. Concern is replaced with empathy.
Hand falling back to his side, he suddenly changes the subject. “You’re in the marketing department, right?”
Lips still trembling, you turn your eyes towards the floor before giving him a small nod.
From this angle, the only thing you see are his shoes. Standard leather work shoes, they’re slightly scuffed where they rest against the carpet.
They still look formal, of course. Nothing that would raise any eyebrows in a professional setting. And from far away, you’re sure they appear pristine.
But from this close, you can make out all sorts of rough edges. Little marks and dents and scuffs that serve as evidence of where he’s been.
“Why don’t you head home for the day,” Jungwon suggests gently from above you. “I’ll let your team and your supervisor know that you’re not feeling well.”
You take a deep breath, do your best to make sure your voice is steady before you respond. Shaking your head, you point out, “It’s almost the end of the day anyway–”
“Exactly,” Jungown nods, kind but firm. “There’s nothing that can’t wait until tomorrow.”
“Actually,” you grimace, trying not to let the truth inspire another round of tears. “I need the report I was trying to print. I have to turn it in before I leave today.”
There’s a beat of silence. You’re worried that Jungwon will keep offering you too much kindness, so you rush to fill it. “It’s fine, though. I think the paper jam is almost fixed, and I already sent the report to the printer, so I’m sure it will come through in a minute–”
“Perfect,” Jungwon interrupts again. “I’ll take it to your boss, then. Alan, right? I’ve spoken with him before. I’ll also let him know that you went home for the day.”
“Jungwon, you don’t have to–”
“I know.” At the interruption, your eyes snap back to him. There’s an intensity in his eyes when you match his gaze. Something so sincere that it’s hard to look away. Even though you know your eyes are still shiny with tears you wish you’d hidden better. Even if the stress and exhaustion and weariness are probably written plain as day across your features.
“I know,” he repeats. “I want to. Go home and get some rest, okay?”
It’s probably stupid, to agree so easily. But something in his eyes has you believing, even if just for a moment, that everything will be just fine if you do what he suggests. That all of your concerns and worries will work themselves out and you’ll be able to come into the office tomorrow feeling refreshed for once. For the first time in a long time.
So you nod. You let him help you up off the floor and don’t bother hiding your face as you wipe the last of your unshed tears from your eyelashes. It probably only smudges your mascara further, but you can’t find it in yourself to care about that, either.
The printer is still jammed and your report isn’t turned in and you’ll have to walk past your entire team back to your desk to get your things on your way out.
But for this fleeting moment, those worries feel small. Distant. Manageable. Able to be tucked away and saved for later.
You still don’t know much about Jungwon. The only knowledge you have comes from speculation and wishful thinking. But now, more than ever, you really wish you knew something of substance.
But you have no idea how to tell him that. Don’t know if you even should. So instead, you say what you can.
“Thank you, Jungwon.”
For a moment, all he does is smile. It’s small, but it reaches his eyes. Makes them sparkle a little brighter.
His voice, like the rest of him, is gentle when he says, “Sure thing, ___.”
…..
Despite the fact that it accounts for roughly eighty percent of your job, you prefer to avoid your email inbox like the plague.
Most days, by the time you do get around to checking it, it’s already jam packed with unreasonable requests and last-minute changes and passive aggressive friendly reminders from your superiors.
When you sit down at your desk on Tuesday morning, you’re extra reluctant. After the printer fiasco yesterday, you’re feeling particularly sensitive to all of the potential bullshit. And you have the distinct feeling that a rather nasty message about leaving the office early unannounced is surely waiting for you.
But the inevitable can only be delayed so long. With a wince and a final swig of coffee, you muster the courage to give the mail icon on your desktop a double click.
The top of your inbox is filled with the usual nonsense. A request for a meeting tomorrow morning on a project idea you’ve had finalized for months. An RSVP form for the optional, but highly encouraged, upcoming staff party. A reminder from your boss that final quarterly reports need to be submitted by Friday at the latest.
A few lines down, though, something out of the ordinary catches your eye. Checking the time stamp, you see that it was sent right as the day started.
From: [email protected]
Subject: Printer Issue Follow-Up
Contemplating for a moment, you frown. The first floor of Vesselsoft is no stranger to printer jams. They’re typical occurrences, not major problems to be resolved via email. You didn’t think there was a printer issue to follow up on.
But it’s far more intriguing than anything else on your work account. So, ignoring all of the other messages, you open the email from Jungwon.
Good morning ____,
I hope you’re doing well. I wanted to let you know that the workroom printer jam has been fixed, and your report was delivered safe and sound yesterday evening. I also wanted to check in and see how your head is feeling.
Best,
Jungwon
You reread it. Once. Twice.
It’s a simple message, all things considered. But it has you searching for subtext where there likely isn’t any. If anything, this serves as a confirmation of what you already knew about Jungwon.
He’s kind. Considerate. The type of person that would help you fix a jammed printer and check in on you the next morning. Right when he clocks in.
The type that could probably tell that your head was the least of your concerns yesterday, but still chooses to ask how you’re doing without drawing excess attention to it.
For a moment, you almost wish he would make a habit of attending after hours work events. You have the distinct feeling that sucking up to your superiors would be a little less awful if someone like him was around to do it with you.
From: You
Subject: Re: Printer Issue Follow-Up
Good morning Jungwon,
Thank you for resolving that printer issue! And thank you for checking in. My head is feeling much better today.
Thanks again,
____
After a final once over, you press the send button, watching as the animation shows the message flying out from your inbox.
You imagine it flying into his. It’s subconscious, the way you start to picture what his face will look like when he sees it.
You know he’s in the programming department, which is on the same floor as your office. Honestly, you’re a bit surprised you haven't seen him around more.
Will he smile, you wonder. Will he have that same, gentle fondness in his eyes he seems to carry with him everywhere?
You don’t get an answer to that particular question, but you do learn that Jungwon is an incredibly prompt communicator.
It’s barely been ten minutes before your inbox is chiming again.
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Printer Issue Follow-Up
Sure thing, ___. Glad to hear it.
Jungwon
You can’t hide the small smile that threatens to turn the corners of your lips upward. It’s not like he’s done anything particularly groundbreaking. But even bits of kindness have become a bit of a rarity for you these days.
You can’t think of anyone else in the office that would insist on sending you home thirty minutes early and offer to finish up your work for you. You can’t think of anyone else who would have navigated yesterday’s fiasco with as much gentle care as he did.
You can’t remember the last time someone bothered to consider you. To lighten your load when they noticed you starting to sink under the weight of it.
So you’re smiling. Despite the fact that it’s still a Tuesday morning and you have a long week ahead of you. Despite the fact that you’re still very much locked into a job you mostly despise.
Mentally, you make a note to give some gesture of your gratitude. To do something that will brighten his day a bit, too.
But you don’t know him. Don’t know how he takes his coffee or if he has a favorite brand of ballpoint pen or if he could use an extra favor from someone in the marketing department. All the sorts of things that coworkers do to show a little bit of appreciation.
But the universe, at least in part, seems to be on your side today.
When you head into the staff kitchen for your mid-morning coffee refill, you find it already occupied.
It’s a bit ridiculous, the way you suddenly feel flustered. Have the urge to smooth your hair, fix your blouse.
He has his back turned to you, and it takes you nearly half a minute of contemplation to decide whether or not to say something. In the end, the decision is made for you.
Your phone lights up with an urgent request that you check over the second half of the report you – well, Jungwon – submitted last night.
Sighing, you turn away from the kitchen. Your second cup of coffee, and a conversation with a certain programmer, will just have to wait.
You do, however, notice one last thing before you go. Watching silently, you can’t help but smile a bit as you watch Jungwon add two sugar packets to his mug.
Sweet, you think. Just like him. And now you have at least one bit of information to work with.
After submitting the edits on your report, you decide to use your recently earned knowledge. Deciding that he’s worth the splurge, you open the delivery page of the cafe down the street, the one that’s ridiculously overpriced but undoubtedly makes the best coffee in the area.
And when you order it in his name, a hot coffee with two sugars, you ask the barista to attach a note.
Thank you again for yesterday. I hope this is how you like your coffee!
An hour later, your inbox chimes with another message.
From: [email protected]
Subject: Thank You
You’re too kind, ____. Thank you for the coffee. How did you know just how I like it?
All the best,
Jungwon
If his words make you smile a little too hard, well, you figure no one ever has to know.
The universe, however, would seem to have other plans.
Of everyone in the marketing department, you find your coworker Grace to be the most bearable. A few years older than you, she was by far the most welcoming when you joined the team.
And you have the sneaking suspicion she has just as much disdain for your supervisor as you, even if the two of you have never openly discussed it.
Unfortunately, she does have the fatal flaw of never being able to finish her work day without getting herself involved in someone else’s business. For the most part, you’re spared from her nosiness.
Mostly because your life doesn’t carry the same flair for drama that she loves most. But today, she decides to give it a shot anyway.
Standing behind your office chair, she nearly startles you out of your seat when she asks, “Who’s got you smiling like that?”
Closing the email as quickly as you can, you turn to face her.
“No one.” It’s too rushed, too evasive. She sees right through it.
“Mhmm.”
Heat rising in your cheeks, you double down. “No, really.” Scrambling for a lie, your eyes land on one of your desk photos. One that shows your childhood cat, affectionately named Mr. Snuggles by your elementary school self. “I just heard from the vet that my cat is feeling a lot better. I was worried she was really sick.”
It’s a bold faced lie. Mr. Snuggles has been dead since your third year of high school.
“Ah,” Grace says. Her features fall slightly as she realizes she won’t be getting a worthy scoop from you. Realizing that’s probably not an appropriate reaction, she forces a smile. “That’s great! I’m happy for you.”
“Thanks,” you nod, hoping it will mark the end of the conversation.
But Grace isn’t quite ready to let it go. “That does remind me, though. I’ve been meaning to ask you something.”
Uh oh.
“You’re not seeing anyone, right?” You’re not sure how a sick cat would remind her of your dating life, but you suppose there are larger mysteries to be solved.
And on second consideration – oh. Is it really that obvious? “No,” the syllable drags as you attempt to tread carefully. “Why?”
Grace shrugs, but the conversation feels more calculated than nonchalant. “I was at my friend’s baby shower a couple of weeks ago, and her younger brother just moved back to the city. He’s been living abroad since high school. He’s around your age and a total catch. I didn’t talk to him much, but he reminded me of you a bit. I think the two of you would get on.”
“Oh,” is all you say. Your uncertainty must be written all over your features, because Grace is quick to continue.
“No pressure, of course. But let me know if you’d like me to pass his number along.”
Do you? It’s been ages since you went on a date. And even longer since you went on a date with someone you’d describe as a total catch.
And apparently, your single-ness is painfully visible to the people around you if Grace was able to pick up on it so easily.
Besides, it might be nice, you think. To have a conversation with someone that isn’t about quarterly reports or upcoming deadlines or jammed printers.
But then your mind wanders to the last conversation you had about a jammed printer. To a set of pretty, dark eyes and a pair of gentle hands.
To a string of email conversations that don’t really mean anything. But you almost wish they did.
It’s messy, you think. Far from ideal. JUngwon might not be in your department, but he still works just down the hall. Inter company relationships aren’t forbidden, but they do carry a certain amount of risk.
Jungwon isn’t petty. He wouldn’t make your life a living hell if things were to end badly. But you might start feeling awkward in the staff kitchen and you might have to start timing your walks to the parking lot so that they don’t coincide with his.
Small adjustments. Minor inconveniences more than anything.
Besides, it’s all conjecture.
You can count the conversations you’ve had with Jungwon on your fingers, and the majority have been channeled through your work email.
It’s hardly romantic.
But even as you try to see things from a detached, logical perspective, one thought keeps swimming back to you.
You think you could talk about jammed printers forever, as long as it was with him.
Sighing, your heart can’t decide if it wants to sink to your stomach or crawl up your throat at the realization.
Turning back to Grace, you just offer her a tight smile. “I’ll let you know.”
…..
In the coming weeks, your coincidental run-ins with Jungwon start to become more and more frequent.
First, it’s the two of you just so happening to need a coffee refill at the same time. When your path cross in the staff kitchen, you raise an eyebrow at the sugar packets he adds to his mug and he shakes his head as you take a long sip of your plain, bitter drink of choice.
Then, it’s the morning in the parking lot when the two of you just so happen to arrive at the same time, pulling into adjacent parking spots. His smile is gentle, albeit a bit sleepy, when he bids you, “Good morning.”
Your heart flutters a bit when you return the sentiment. You do your best to ignore it.
Next, you stumble across him in the staircase on an otherwise quiet afternoon. This time, however, he’s already deep in another conversation. Or, you realize at second glance, trying very hard to wiggle his way out of another conversation.
For all intents and purposes, Jenna from the legal department is a sweet girl. A bit overbearing at times and doesn’t always take well to being told no, but she’s harmless for the most part. Smart and driven and you admit a little glumly, quite pretty.
Even underneath the overhead fluorescents in the stairway, she manages to avoid looking washed out.
They’re already talking by the time you get there, and the only thing you catch is the tail end of their rather one-sided conversation.
“It’s a great place, really,” Jenna insists, smiling a little too brightly. “And the food is to die for. They’re always running really unique specials. I think you’d really like it.”
And you could just turn around and pretend not to have seen anything. You could just take the elevator instead. In fact, you probably should.
But suddenly, it’s as if your shoes have been filled with lead. Feet frozen to the earth, all you can do is watch.
“Oh,” Jungwon reaches for the back of his neck. “Thanks for thinking of me, Jenna, but I don’t think I’ll be able to make it.”
“Oh, really?” she pouts. “Is there another night that would work bett–”
“Jungwon!” Your voice is too loud, reverberating off the walls of the stairway in a way that has two pairs of eyes immediately darting towards you. And interrupting had seemed like a good idea a few seconds ago, but now you realize your fatal mistake.
You have no plan. No idea what to say next.
Still, you force a smile. “Just the person I was looking for.”
You don’t think you’re imagining it, the immediate wash of relief that colors Jungwon’s features.
“Hey, ___,” Jenna waves, a bit dejectedly. She doesn’t exactly look pleased to see you, and you can’t really blame her. “Could you give us a minute? I was just in the middle of–”
“Sorry, Jenna,” you shake your head. “This is kind of urgent.”
“Right,” Jungwon nods, looking at you again. “We’d better go then.”
“But I–”
“See you around, Jenna.” You’re tone is too bright as you spin around, making a beeline back towards the door. A flicker of satisfaction warms in your chest when you realize Jungwon is right on your heels.
He waits until the two of you are back in the empty hallway, closed door serving as a barrier between you and Jenna, before he speaks.
Looking at you, he quirks his head to the side. “So, what’s the urgent thing you need help with?”
Oh. Right.
Sighing, you decide honesty, or at least partial honesty, might be your best bet.
“Sorry,” your smile is sheepish, “did I read that wrong? There’s nothing urgent. I just…” you trail off, searching for the words. “It just looked like you might have needed an exit.”
For a moment, he says nothing. The silence gives your mind too much room to spin
Maybe you did read things wrong. Maybe he was enjoying a perfectly pleasant conversation with perfectly pleasant Jenna. Maybe he was looking forward to going to a nice restaurant with her and trying all sorts of unique specials and–
“Thank you.”
“What?”
Jungwon’s eyes soften. If you didn’t know any better, you’d almost describe his expression as… fondness. “An exit,” he clarifies. “I did need one. So thank you.”
“Right.” Your voice is suddenly breathless, and you can’t think of a good excuse for it. Feigning a nonchalance you don’t feel, you wave off his gratitude, “Anytime.”
“Careful,” Jungwon warns, but the same hint of teasing, the same glimmer of affection, is still there. “I just might take you up on that.”
“It’s a good thing I meant it, then.”
Jungwon’s features soften into a smile. A small one, meant just for the two of you. Reaching up, he pushes a stray strand of hair from his eyes.
It’s only natural that you follow the movement. His hands are nice, you think. Long, lithe fingers, and–
You frown, eyes zeroing in on the knuckles of his right hand.
Bruises, you realize. Dark, purple bruises span the length of his knuckles. Angry and mottled and from what you can tell, recent.
And so many. You can’t imagine what he could have possibly done to earn them.
Gaze still trained on the injury, your eyes widen. “Are you okay?”
It’s Jungwon’s turn to be confused. “What?”
“Your hand,” you nod at it. “Are those bruises?”
“Oh.” He shrugs, brushes it off like it’s nothing. But his hand falls to his side, obscured from your sight, all the same. “Yeah, I just slipped the other day trying to hang a picture in my apartment. The frame caught me funny when it fell.”
“You… slipped.”
Your disbelief must be apparent, because Jungwon is quick to add, “My hand slipped, really. My phone started ringing, and it caught me off guard.”
“Ouch,” you grimace. “That sounds like it hurt.”
Again, Jungwon shrugs. But his eyes are doing that thing again. Sparkling. “It’s not so bad.”
“Still,” you insist. “You should be more careful.”
“Yeah,” Jungwon agrees. It’s just the two of you, alone in a dimly lit hallway. His gaze is trained on yours. The distance between you is respectable, appropriate. Suggests that the two of you are coworkers and nothing more. But you have the distinct feeling that he’s not entirely talking about hanging pictures when he says, “I probably should.”
…..
The next morning, Grace is the first person you see as you walk into the office. And she’s already waiting for you. As soon as you come in, she hands you a coffee with an apologetic smile.
“Uh oh.” You hang your coat, accepting the cup from her hands. It’s not unusual to receive coffee from a coworker, but it usually comes as a form of consolation. “What’s this for?”
“It’s from Alan, actually.”
Your lips flatten. “That doesn’t make me feel better.”
“It’s not that bad, really.” Grace’s smile is less than convincing. “He just wants us all to get together this Friday night after work at that bar down the street. Y’know, to network.”
You groan internally. There go your plans for a relaxing Friday at home.
“How is it networking if it’s just our team? We see each other every day.”
“That’s the other part,” Grace nods towards the cup in your hand. “Didn’t you notice he pulled out all the stops? That’s from the shop down the road. The one that charges eleven dollars for a small latte.”
“Oh god,” you groan, this time audibly. “What else does he want?”
“We’ve all been strongly encouraged to invite people from different teams around the company.”
You suppress a strong urge to roll your eyes. “Of course we have.”
Privately, you think that if Alan wants to network so bad, he should be responsible for creating the guest list himself. Outwardly, you just sigh.
As if you didn’t have enough on your plate already. Now you need to schmooze some other poor employee into wasting their Friday night talking about work.
Sitting down at your desk, you take a sip of your coffee. It is admittedly delicious. The thought only makes you want to bang your head on your keyboard even more.
The problem of finding a plus one follows you all the way through the afternoon. All the way to the workroom, where you once again stumble into a certain blonde programmer that’s beginning to feel like part of your daily routine.
This time, Jungwon is alone.
He’s frowning at the printer, brow furrowed.
“Don’t tell me it’s jammed.”
When he sees that it’s you, his features immediately soften. He smiles and something tugs at your heart. It’s enough to have you forgetting about Friday night, even if just for a moment.
“No, thankfully. My computer just doesn’t seem to want to connect to this printer.”
“Mm,” you hum. “Send it to me, and I’ll try printing from mine.”
Jungwon shakes his head. “You don’t have to do that. I’ll just go up to the accounting department and try their printer.”
“Jungwon,” you level him with a look. “You are the last person to be telling me I don’t have to do you a favor. It’s really no problem. Just send it over.”
“Okay,” he finally relents.
Waiting for it to ping through on your end, an idea suddenly strikes you. You’re not sure if it’s a good one or if your judgment is starting to be warped by all of the toner cartridge fumes, but here, in a quiet workroom with nothing but Jungwon and a half-working printer to keep you company, you find a bit of your bravery.
“I know this probably isn’t your idea of a perfect evening,” you start. Your words feel too loud in this tiny space. “But the marketing team is getting together after work for drinks this Friday night. We’re also encouraged to branch outside of our department and invite other company employees, so if you’re free, we’d love to have you.” The more you say, the worse it sounds to your own ears. Why would anyone, much less Jungwon, want to come to a work event for the marketing team. Suddenly embarrassed you even brought it up, you find yourself rambling. “The bar is actually pretty nice. It’s not super fancy or anything, but it has, uh, really great chandeliers. It’s a nice ambience, and–”
“___.” Jungwon interrupts with the sound of your name.
“Yeah?” You’re trying not to sound too hopeful, but you have the distinct feeling that you fail miserably. Despite your hesitance, you realize something.
You want him to say yes.
You want him to give you a different response than he gives everyone else. A different response than he gave Jenna.
You want him to say yes, even though no one wants to go to a work event for the marketing team on a Friday night.
You want him to say yes anyway, because it’s you.
“I’d love to, really.” He reaches up, scratching at the back of his neck. “But I’m busy Friday night.”
Short. Succinct. To the point. He doesn’t spare any extra details.
You already knew it was a long shot. But it stings all the same.
You wanted to be the exception to the rule. Someone that would finally get him to say yes. Or at the very least, someone he would bother to give an actual reason for his absence to.
“Oh.” Your voice is smaller than you mean for it to be. “Of course!” And now it’s too loud, too bright. You can’t find the happy medium, can’t find your natural tone. “I’m sure whatever it is will be way more fun, anyway.”
Jungwon just gives you a small smile, not bothering to affirm or refute your assumption. Not deigning to add any more details.
It kind of makes you wish that the ground would open up and swallow you whole.
“Well, I should probably get back to my desk.” You don’t know why you’re scrambling for excuses. Jungwon clearly doesn’t feel the need to provide any. “Did everything print okay?” You nod towards the small stack of papers in his hands.
Jungwon is still looking at you. His lips part, as if he wants to say something. Brow creased, it’s as if he’s at war with himself. As if he can’t decide what to say or how to say it.
After a beat, his mouth falls shut again. He gives a minute shake of his head. You watch as his hair sways in time with the movement.
“Yeah,” he tells you. But he still hasn’t bothered to look down at the document between his fingers. “Everything printed fine.”
“Okay.” You nod again. “Good.” Your voice sounds hollow in your ears. “Well, I’ll see you around, then.”
I’ll see you around?
I’ll see you around?
It takes all of your willpower not to cringe outwardly. It’s the most awkward, stilted thing you could have possibly said, but you’re not sure how else to fill the stifling silence.
“Of course,” Jungwon nods. “Have a good day, ____.” The worst part is that he looks like he genuinely means it. “And enjoy your Friday night.”
“Right.” Your smile is feeble, doesn’t reach your eyes. “You too.”
You’re so caught up in your own humiliation that you don’t notice the way his smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes either. “Sure thing.”
…..
Changing your clothes in the last stall of the office bathroom kind of feels like a new low for you. But by the time Friday evening comes around, the last thing you want to do is attend a mandatory – scratch that, highly encouraged – work event at a bar still wearing your blazer and slacks.
The jeans and sweater you replace them with are still nice by any standard, but they’ll feel a bit less stifling after a handful of drinks.
Grace, at least, seems to have the same idea. Deciding she’s by far the most bearable person of the evening, you slide down next to her in the booth.
Of course, that thought only makes you think of another person you’d invited. Someone whose absence feels especially notable as you nurse the remnants of your first cocktail.
You don’t really want to get drunk tonight. You don’t want to be here at all.
You put in your forty hours of work this week, and the only place you want to be is at home in a pair of sweatpants.
The only person that would have made it a little more worth it made it very clear that he had better things to do. The details of which, of course, he didn’t bother to share.
The thought spurs you to take another long sip.
You don’t want to get drunk. But you don’t want to think about him either.
Besides, Grace doesn’t seem to share your reservations.
It’s barely been forty minutes when she pulls out her phone, thoroughly tipsy, and decides that you are the best person to help her sort through her list of matches on her favorite dating app.
“He’s cute, right?” She flashes her phone screen towards you.
He is. You nod and tell her as much.
His eyes might not sparkle very much. And his hair might not fall perfectly over his forehead. And he might not furrow his eyebrow in concentration whenever the printer in the workroom gives him a hard time –
No.
Tonight is not about him. He made it very clear that he had no interest in being here tonight, and the last thing you’re going to do is spend the evening fixated on him.
Grace, at least, seems willing to help on that front.
“Oh,” she suddenly interjects from your side. “That reminds me. I’ve been meaning to show you a picture of my friend’s brother. You know, the one I mentioned a couple of weeks ago?”
It’s a bad idea, probably. You’re still feeling slighted and bitter and no matter how many times you tell it not to, your mind keeps wandering to Jungwon.
Despite your reluctance, the cocktails are catching up with you. There’s a pleasant, slightly numb haze in your mind. It makes resistance feel futile.
All you do is nod, and Grace starts searching for his social media profile. It takes her a few more tries than it would sober, but she does eventually find it.
“Here,” she says, offering her phone to you. “His name is Jay. He grew up here until he left to go to an international high school. He’s been living abroad ever since, but he recently moved back. Their dad is pretty high up at a software development company. I think he came back because he landed a job there too.”
You do your best to absorb the information, to nod along with what she says, but in all honesty, you’re quite distracted.
Jay is quite distracting. His feed is well-curated without being overbearing. Covered in travel photos, unbelievably flattering candid shots, and stunning nature pictures, he immediately piques your interest.
Not to mention the fact that he’s stunning. Maybe not quite as stunning as –
No. Again, you refuse to go there.
You’re not sure if it’s the drinks or the photos or the spite that makes it suddenly feel like a good idea, but you’re telling Grace to pass your number along to Jay before you can think better of it.
And if nothing else, at least he doesn’t seem like the kind of person that will make you wonder. Or even wait for long.
You’ve barely gotten home, mind mostly clear even if it is still a bit muddled from the exhaustion of a long week, when your phone screen lights up with a notification.
It’s just a string of numbers for now, but you’re quick to create a new contact.
Hey, the message reads. This is Jay. Grace gave me your number. I hope that’s alright!
A few seconds later, another text comes through.
Jay: How do you feel about art exhibitions? There’s one opening this weekend right next to one of the best coffee spots in the city. I’d love for you to join me.
It’s simple. Straightforward. Not something you’ll search for subtext or pick apart for weeks.
And it’s easy to respond to.
You: That sounds great! I’ll look forward to it
…..
Another week at work passes with the same monotonous, sluggish flow as any other. But this time, it’s interspersed with messages you’ve started to look forward to.
You’ve just sat down with your third cup of coffee on Monday morning when the first one chimes through.
Jay: Good morning, ___. I hope your Monday is off to a better start than mine.
A second message comes through. This one is an image. One that unmistakably shows a stack of papers covered in a dark brown stain you recognize all too well.
You: Oh no!
Pausing for a moment, your teeth worry at your bottom lip. Deciding to go for it, you send your own picture in return.
The image of your full coffee cup goes through, along with another message.
You: I think it might be. My coffee is still in my cup, at least
It takes him less than a minute to respond.
Jay: Black coffee! Oh, you mean business. I’ll deny it if you tell anyone, but I always have to add sugar and cream to mine.
You can’t help the smile that starts to spread over your lips. Sugar and cream. An aversion to bitterness. It reminds you of someone else that always adds a little sweetness to their –
Shaking your head, you force the comparison away. Putting the other man firmly out of mind, you decide to return Jay’s lighthearted message with one of your own.
You: Don’t tell anyone, but this is my third cup of the morning.
Jay: Third cup of straight black coffee. Whew, remind me not to get on your bad side today.
Jay: Speaking of which, do you always drink it black or could you be persuaded into something a little sweeter?
He’s talking about coffee, yes, but it feels just a little bit like flirting. Biting at your lip again, you decide there isn’t much to lose.
Besides, it’s kind of… fun. You can’t remember the last time you were well and truly flirted with.
You: Depends who’s asking
Jay: Hmm
Jay: I’ll have to work on my persuasion skills then
Jay: The place I’m taking you to on Saturday has an insanely delicious caramel latte, and I need to know what you think of it
You: Tempting
You: But I’m not sure I’m convinced
Jay: I’ll work on that, then
You can’t hide your smile this time.
A minute later, two more texts ping through.
Jay: Duty calls, unfortunately
Jay: The rest of my Monday is stacked, so if I am slow to respond to any messages, that’s why. Enjoy the rest of your day, ___
He’s straightforward. Communicative. You appreciate the notice. The fact that if you do send another message without a response, you won’t have to waste your day wondering why.
You: Ugh, don’t you hate it when you actually have to work at work?
You: I hope all goes well! Enjoy the rest of your day too, Jay
Setting your phone down, you return your gaze to your computer screen and unfortunately very full inbox.
Your focus, however, remains half-occupied by a message thread sitting dormant on your tucked away phone.
…..
Jay’s messages begin to become a highlight of your work day. Despite the fact that there’s often a large lapse in time due to both of your busy schedules, you start to anticipate every text he manages to send.
And they only serve to build more excitement around your upcoming date.
By the time Thursday comes around, you’ve all but mentally clocked out for the week. Refilling your water bottle in the staff kitchen, your mind is so occupied that you almost run right into the person coming through the door the same time you’re leaving.
“Oh, I’m so sorry! I wasn’t looking where I was–”
“___.” The sound of your name stops you in your tracks. “Breathe,” Jungwon is smiling, but there’s a hint of concern there, too. “You’re okay.”
“Jungwon,” you exhale. Your frantic apology begins to subside, replaced by an overwhelming surge of self-consciousness as you tuck a stray strand of hair behind your ear.
You haven’t spoken to him, haven’t even seen him, since he rejected your invitation last Friday.
He’s not trying to pick at old wounds, but it still stings a bit when he asks, “How was Friday?”
“Oh, you know,” you shrug, “It was a typical work gathering.” Then again, it occurs to you that he might not know. Since he never bothers attending any of them.
Not that it really matters. Besides, you’re lying a bit anyway. Typical work gatherings don’t usually end with you setting up a date. Not that you want Jungwon to know about that either.
You can't pinpoint exactly why, but the thought of him knowing doesn’t sit with you quite right. Besides, it’s not like he’s ever shown any interest in your personal life, anyway. He would find it weird, most likely. Annoying, if you were to divulge any details.
“Oh, well, I’m sorry again that I couldn’t come.” Just like that day in the workroom, he reaches back to scratch at his neck. You have the distinct sense that he’s the one who suddenly feels a bit awkward. “Friday nights are…” he trails off, “Friday nights are hard for me, usually. I’m always pretty free on Saturday mornings, thought, so if–”
“Don’t worry about it.” Oh god. Your intention certainly wasn’t to make him feel guilty for having a social life outside of the office. Suddenly worried that you read the situation all wrong, you’re quick to assure him, “You don’t have to come to anything that you don’t want to. And especially if you have plans already. I just asked you because my supervisor wanted us to invite people from other departments.”
If his face falls slightly, you’re too caught up in your own rambling to notice.
“And, you know,” you continue, “since you helped me that day with the printer.”
“The printer,” he echoes, voice suddenly hollow. “Right.”
“Right,” you echo. The room falls into silence again, and this time, it’s weighted with a horrible awkwardness neither of you can shake.
“Well,” you finally say, holding up your bottle. “I got my water, so I’m gonna head back to my desk.”
“Yeah,” Jungwon nods. “Okay.”
“I’ll see you around?” It’s just as stilted as it was before, but you’re desperate for any way to exit this conversation.
“Yeah,” Jungwon repeats. “Sure thing, ___.”
…..
By the time Saturday morning comes, you’re a mess of anticipation and frayed nerves.
You’re early to arrive at the address of the coffee shop Jay sent you a few nights ago, but he’s already there waiting for you. And his social media might have painted an impressive picture, but one look tells you that it still doesn’t hold a candle to the real thing.
Jay is gorgeous.
Almost as gorgeous as –
You kill the thought as soon as it comes. This day isn’t about him, and comparisons will do you little good.
Instead, you refocus on your date.
He’s polished and put together in an effortless sort of way. The kind of person that you see once in passing and then can’t stop thinking about for the rest of the week. His features are angular, sharp. But they soften into a warm smile the second he lays eyes on you.
In the end, it doesn’t take him much convincing at all to persuade you to try the caramel latte. And he’s right. It is absolutely delicious.
It was easy to fall into a natural rhythm over text, and your face-to-face conversation flows even better.
He tells you about life abroad and all of his favorite parts of living in another country. He tells you about his family and what he missed most about this city he’s learning to call home again.
He listens, actively, while you tell him the more mundane details of your own life. His questions are well-timed and never feel like interruptions.
His kindness doesn’t feel like a facade. His interest doesn’t feel like a cheap trick to get what he wants from you and then disappear without a word.
And when it becomes painfully apparent at the art exhibition that he’s far more well-versed in the subject than you, he doesn’t make you feel stupid. Instead, he takes his time explaining each piece. Highlights the aspects that would be most interesting to someone without any kind of background in art.
He’s kind, considerate, and the day passes by in a blur of fleeting glances and shy smiles. At the end of it, he offers to drive you home and opens your car door for you. Small gestures that make you feel seen, considered. Valued.
When he says goodbye with a hug that doesn’t last nearly long enough, the smell of his cologne is something you hope will linger as long as the memories of the day do.
It’s easy, you think, as you watch his car drive away from your window. Jay is someone that’s easy to be around, to spend time with.
And when he messages you later that night, reiterating his enjoyment of the day and asking to meet again, he’s easy to say yes to.
…..
You’re not sure how, but the only person that seems even more excited than you about you and Jay is Grace.
Despite the fact that your communication as of late hasn’t involved anything scandalous, she feels the need to rehash every detail until she’s heard it one hundred times.
It doesn’t matter how many times you tell her that the last text message he sent you wasn’t anything to swoon over. In fact, it was rather short and unexciting.
Jay: Have you seen my ring by chance? I remember wearing it that day I was in your car, and I haven’t been able to find it since then.
But Grace won’t hear it. You’re not exactly sure what she heard from Jay’s sister, but she spends the rest of the coming week hounding you over the details regardless.
The staff kitchen is hardly the place for conversations about your personal life, but the setting doesn’t seem to bother her at all. Instead, she pretends to be busy washing an already clean coffee mug while she asks again, “So you went out for the first time last Saturday, right?”
“Mhm,” you nod.
“And then you got dinner together Wednesday night after work?”
“Yep.” You’re pretty sure she’s already asked the same question at least six times.
“And he’s planning to take you out again this Saturday?”
“Right.”
“My god, you two are practically married.” She punctuates the absurd claim with a wistful sigh.
“We most certainly are not.”
“Okay, but you literally just met, and you’ve already seen each other twice with plans for a third.”
She does have a point there. Never mind the fact that you haven’t dated anyone in a while. It is a quick timeline, no matter how you look at it. But you’ve been itching to spend time with him ever since your first date, and Jay seems to be on the same page.
It feels fast, yes, but it doesn’t feel forced. For you, that’s what matters most.
That, along with the fact that a certain someone has been noticeably absent from your mind the more time you spend with him. For now, you’ll choose not to read too much into that.
“God,” Grace sighs again. “I miss going on dates.”
“What are you talking about? Didn’t you go on one a couple weeks ago?” You distinctly remember helping her set it up that night at the bar after work.
“Well, yeah, but I mean good dates. You know, getting properly wined and dined and all that. I guess I’ll just have to live vicariously through you.”
“We went to dinner once, and there was hardly any wine involved.”
She rolls her eyes. “You know what I mean. All I’m saying is you’re lucky to be seeing someone that actually puts in effort for your dates and doesn’t just take you to the closest bar to his office and hope that buying you a handful of drinks means he’ll get lucky.” Pausing for a moment, she looks up, eyes landing somewhere just over your shoulder. “Right, Jungwon?”
Immediately, it’s as if you’ve been submerged in ice cold water. Because there’s no way she said–
“Jungwon?” Turning around, you’re put face to face with the last person you wanted to overhear this particular conversation.
“Hey, ___.” There’s a smile on his lips. Small as always, but something feels wrong about it. “Grace,” he nods at the girl over your shoulder. “Sorry,” he’s still looking at her, “were you asking me something?”
“No, we were just leaving, actua–”
Grace pays you no attention. “Just telling ___ how lucky she is that her man actually puts effort into their dates, since it feels like such a rarity these days.”
“He is not my man.” The glare you send your coworker is lost as Jungwon turns back to you, eyes wide, gaze indecipherable.
“You’re dating someone?”
“I…” The easy, most available answer is yes, but you’re having a hard time getting it out. And there are other semantics involved.
Are you dating? Not really. That usually indicates some kind of commitment, exclusivity. Going on dates might be a better way to put it. But clarifying that miniscule distinction for Jungwon feels strange for some reason.
“My friend’s brother,” Grace supplies unhelpfully from the corner. “What can I say? I’m a natural born matchmaker.” Her proud smile is lost on the both of you. You’re only looking at each other.
“Oh.” Jungwon’s voice is small, hollow. “That’s nice. I’m happy for you.”
You want to scream, just a little bit. Or maybe cry. You can’t make up your mind.
And you’re not sure where it comes from, the sudden, overwhelming surge of guilt that begins to build in your gut. You can’t even decipher who it’s directed towards. Towards Jungwon? Towards Jay? Towards yourself?
Grace, despite her self-proclaimed talent for setting up dates, is apparently incredibly inept at reading the room. With no prompting but her own, she’s pushing forward. “He lived abroad for a while and just moved back to the city, which is like, the perfect scenario for going on dates. And he’s always had a flair for romance. I remember–”
“Well,” you interrupt, desperate for an out, “we better get back to the project we were working on—“
“What project?” Grace, it would seem, is determined to be anything but helpful.
“You know,” you glare at her, “our project.”
“Right!” She looks sheepish, finally catching the hint. “That project.”
Turning back to Jungwon, you can still see the rigidity of his features. The tension that has yet to ease. “I’ll…” you’re not sure how to part ways now without making things worse. But it feels wrong to just leave without saying anything. For the third time in the span of days, you tell him, “I’ll see you around.”
And for the third time, he agrees, “Yeah.” This time, however, his eyes still flickering with annoyance, shoulders still set with residual frustration. “Sure thing, ___.”
It’s what he always says, you realize. But this time, it’s missing that easygoing, genuine lightness he usually says it with.
This time, it sounds like rejection.
Yours or his, you’re not entirely sure.
…..
You manage to avoid Jungwon for the rest of the week. It’s ironic, almost. You were so worried about pursuing a potential relationship with him because you wanted to avoid this exact scenario.
Now, a handful of dates with someone who is very much not him tucked under your belt, you still feel the need to turn and walk the other direction whenever you think you hear his voice or get a glimpse of blonde hair.
But the office is only so big, and there are only so many corners to duck into. Barely a week has passed the next time you unwittingly bump into him.
“Oh,” you startle slightly, walking into the workroom and already finding it occupied. And of course you’d run into him here, of all places. Kneeling in front of the printer, his brow is furrowed in concentration as he tries to dislodge yet another paper jam.
“Sorry.” You’re not sure what you’re apologizing for exactly, but it feels warranted regardless. “I’ll just leave, and—”
“___,” he cuts you off with the sound of your name. Looking down at him, you're met with the expanse of his back. A button down shirt tucked into dark pants. Standard work attire that has no business looking this ridiculously good on anyone. “You’re fine. You don’t need to leave. Just give me a second, and the printer’s all yours.”
You nod, even though he can’t see you. If the lack of a verbal response bothers him, he doesn’t show it. Instead, he busies himself with the jammed printer, muscles of his back flexing slightly underneath the fabric of his shirt as he tugs at the stubborn papers.
Cheeks heating slightly, you force your gaze elsewhere.
“There,” he says after another minute of adjustments. Standing to full height, he turns to face you. “All fixed.”
Looking up at him, you’re about to offer a quiet thanks when your eyes land on his right cheekbone. Specifically, the fresh cut that spans the length of it.
The gasp the spills from your lips is entirely without permission. But you can’t quite help it. The wound is quite superficial, surface level at most, but it mars his otherwise perfect skin in a way you weren’t prepared for.
Without your permission, your fingers start to reach towards the injury. They make it halfway before you remember yourself, before you regain your sense of reality. Your hand falls limply back to your side.
“What happened?” You breathe.
Jungwon’s brows draw together in confusion for a moment before a flicker of realization dances across his features.
“Oh.” He exhales, fingers tapping against the broken skin of his cheekbone lightly. “Nothing. I just, er, fell the other day.”
“You fell,” you echo. Like all of his other excuses, it’s vague. Flimsy at best.
“Yeah,” he confirms with a slight nod. Again, he says, “I fell.”
It’s evasive. And it feels like more than just an explanation for his injury.
It feels like confirmation of the distance between the two of you. His final assertion that you’re nothing but a coworker to him. Someone that he tells edited versions of stories to, someone that he keeps firmly planted an arm’s length away.
Fine. If he wants to give you shitty excuses for his Friday nights and his absences at work events and now his injury that very obviously did not come from a fall, that’s just fine with you.
After all, he’s nothing but a coworker to you either. The upcoming date you have planned with Jay is enough to prove it.
“Well,” you tell him, forcing a smile. The fake, disproportionately bright kind that you only ever use with your coworkers. “I hope it heals quickly.”
And then you’re brushing past him, making your way towards the printer as if he’s nothing but an obstacle in your path.
Collecting your freshly printed document, you turn and walk out the door without so much as a backward glance.
…..
Sliding into the passenger seat of Jay’s car Thursday evening, you feel the stress melting from your shoulders the second the door shuts behind you.
This is something else he makes easy: forgetting about whatever woes you managed to acquire after a long day of work. Jay just smiles as you sit down next to him, turning down the volume on the radio as he asks about your day.
Tonight, the two of you are headed to one of your favorite diners. Somewhere where you can chat and laugh and relax over a pile of french fries and obnoxiously gaudy decor.
But before you turn down the street that leads to the restaurant, Jay asks if the two of you can make a quick stop.
“I left my bag at the gym last night,” he explains apologetically. “Do you mind if I swing by and grab it real quick? It’s on our way.”
You reassure him that it’s no problem, and a handful of minutes later, the two of you are parked outside of a rather nondescript, faded building.
Frowning slightly, your eyebrow quirks up in surprise. Although he hasn’t outright disclosed anything, from what you’ve gathered so far, Jay’s family is quite well off. The kind that pays for expensive memberships at bougie gyms with saunas and swimming pools. Not the kind that frequents dark, run down gyms in the middle of a random residential area.
Pulling his key from the ignition, Jay turns to you. “You can wait here, if you want.”
“That’s okay.” You’re already unbuckling your seatbelt. “I’m tired of sitting, anyway.” You really are. Plus, you have to admit that you’re kind of curious.
You fall into step at his side as the two of you make your way towards the building. The closer you get, the more decrepit it appears. Paint is peeling from the exterior, leaving it an odd, mottled brown color riddled with rust marks.
Even the sign, Kang’s Gym, is small, faded, and only visible once you’re nearly to the entrance.
Jay steps in front of you, holding the door open for you to enter.
The inside, you realize as you step in, is in no better shape than the outside. The wall closest to you is lined with weightlifting equipment that looks as if it were pulled from past decades.
Padding is torn in places, and questionable stains cover the place, accumulated from years of use.
You’re about to ask him outright why on earth he patronizes such a run down place when your eyes land on the far wall of the gym. There, you think you find your answer.
There’s no weightlifting equipment or cardio machines. Instead, the majority of available space is filled with several sets of boxing rings. Like the rest of the gym, they’re equally faded and worn with years of use.
But the lighting in that part of the gym is noticeably better. Far brighter, more intentional. As if the rest of the gym is just for show and that is the true purpose of this building.
You’re suddenly overcome with the urge to take a second glance at your date.
He has a lean, athletic build, yes. The kind that you assumed came from some kind of regular exercise regiment and not his office job.
But boxing wasn’t exactly what you expected.
Jay turns to you. His expression gives nothing away, holds no indication that this is anything out of the ordinary for him. “I think I left it over by the locker rooms.”
Encasing your hand in his, he leads you towards the rings. Several of them are occupied, mostly by one-on-one sparring matches.
Walking past the first one, the two men inside the ring turn to look at you and Jay as you pass.
“Hey, man,” the first one offers with a nod of recognition that Jay returns. As his eyes slide over to you, they widen slightly in surprise. Gaze falling to your intertwined hands, the man just shakes his head slightly before returning to his sparring partner.
Moving past them, you shake the odd interaction from your mind.
You spare fleeting glances for the rest of the people you pass. For a moment, you try to imagine Jay in the ring instead of them. It’s an odd contradiction with what you’ve come to associate with him.
Easygoing. Considerate. Even tempered. They’re traits that feel at odds with the kind of stark physicality required in a boxing ring.
Then again, the more you consider it, the more you start to make sense of it. Jay is all of those things, yes, but there’s also an undercurrent of something else.
A quiet intensity he carries with him. Something he has control over. Something he can channel when needed.
The more you think about it, the easier it is to picture him in the ring, throwing precise, calculated punches until victory rests on his square shoulders.
You’d be lying if you said the mental image didn’t pique your interest. You’re about to ask him if he’ll let you watch next time he’s in the ring when a flash of color in the last boxing ring, the one closest to the locker rooms, catches your attention.
It’s unlikely. It feels impossible. Even more so than the thought of Jay in a boxing ring. But as you draw closer, you confirm your suspicions.
After all, you would know that shade of blonde anywhere.
It takes everything in you not to stop dead in your tracks. But even as you continue forward, hand still encased in Jay’s, your eyes are trained solely on the space between Jungwon’s broad shoulders.
It’s almost inhuman, the feline agility that he moves with. He’s smaller than his opponent, but he’s faster. Lighter on his feet.
The punches he throws are dizzyingly accurate, and his sparring partner seems to think the same. A muted thud is followed by a string of expletives that become more clear the closer you get.
“Jesus, Jungwon.” The man across from him is still a bit breathless as he recovers from having the wind knocked out of him. “Bad week at work or something?”
“C’mon, Heeseung.” It doesn’t sound anything like the Jungwon you know. Gone is the quiet friendliness you’ve always heard from him. His voice is still gentle, but it carries an unmistakable command. “Stop going easy.”
“I’m not,” the other man – Heeseung – argues. “What has gotten into you? It’s like you’ve been insane since that match last week.”
“Whatever,” Jungwon scoffs, shaking his head. “Let’s just take five.”
“Make it ten,” Heeseung goads across from him.
Jungwon sends him a warning glare, but says nothing. Instead, he reaches for his water bottle at the corner of the ring, leaning against the ropes that enclose it.
All you can do is watch, suddenly fascinated by the way sweat darkens his hair, trails down the length of his neck. Jungwon gives a quick shake of his head, sending his hair scattering over his forehead as he leans further into the ropes behind him.
Tipping his head back, his throat works against a swallow as he takes a long drink from his water bottle.
Jungwon sets his water bottle down, turning towards Heeseung like he’s about to say something else when movement catches his attention.
More specifically, your movement. His eyes fall on you, and for a moment, you’re rendered just as immobile as him. His gaze widens in recognition and then suddenly, he’s standing.
Long strides eat up the length of the boxing ring as he crosses it, every step bringing him closer to you. With a distinct sort of grace and practiced ease, he jumps over the side of the ring, landing on his feet just as you and Jay pass him.
With a hand on your shoulder, he stops you both in your tracks. His touch is gentle, but commanding. It leaves little room for argument.
“This is the guy you’ve been seeing?” Jungwon’s eyes are molten lava. If you thought that day in the staff kitchen was the most visible emotion he was capable of mustering, you were sorely mistaken. The Jungwon that stands in front of you now is simmering with it, vibrating with barely contained emotions.
At your side, Jay turns back. With your hand still enclosed in his, Jay’s gaze goes straight towards Jungwon’s hand on your shoulder.
“Jungwon,” he nods coolly.
Jungwon ignores him entirely. His gaze is still trained directly on you.
Glancing between the both of them, the tension between them is palpable. Over Jungwon’s shoulder, you can see Heeseung leaning against the edge of the boxing ring as if he can’t decide whether to intervene or not.
“Well,” you say, attempting to diffuse a bit of the rising animosity, “I guess I don’t need to introduce the two of you, then.”
This time, it’s you that Jungwon ignores. Turning to Jay, he’s all venom. “And you brought her here? What the hell are you doing?”
“Relax, man.” Jay rolls his eyes. “We’re just grabbing my bag.”
“I don’t give a fuck what you left here,” he bites. “You know better than to–”
Shaking his hand off your shoulder, annoyance makes itself visible across your features. It’s one thing for Jungwon to be pissy towards your date, but it’s another entirely for him to assume that you can’t handle something as mundane as a boxing gym.
And if you're honest, the whole overprotective act just rubs you the wrong way. Why does he think he gets to ignore you all week at work and then act like he knows what’s in your best interest?
“I think I can handle watching people throw a few punches, Jungwon.” Your voice is all ice, and it changes his demeanor immediately. The anger begins to dissipate, leaving him with wide eyes that beg for your understanding.
The frustration is still there, though. “That’s not what I meant, ___.”
“I don’t really care what you meant.” You’re not sure if it’s true, but you want it to be. For now, that’s enough. “Why don’t you go back to your friend and pretend like you never saw me. You’re good at that, right?”
It’s a low blow. And it has his features falling immediately, eyebrows slackening as if you’ve slapped him.
His voice is notably gentler when he says your name. “___…”
This time, it’s Jay that speaks. “I suggest you listen to her, man. We’ll be out in a few minutes.”
Jungwon wants to say more. You can see it in the way his mouth twitches, in the way his shoulders still rise with tension. Finally, he relaxes. Just a fraction of an inch, but you know it’s over. At least for now.
He doesn’t say anything, but he does take a step back. And then another.
His eyes are still on you, even as Jay keeps walking, pulling you gently along with him.
By the time he finds his bag and the two of you make your way back out, Jungwon is nowhere to be found.
You can still feel eyes on you, though.
This time, it’s Heeseung’s gaze that follows you all the way out the door.
Back in Jay’s passenger seat, you turn towards your date, a million questions swimming in your mind.
“What on earth was that all about?”
Jay just frowns, knuckles white against the steering wheel. Instead of answering, he asks a question of his own. “How do you know him?”
“What?” Too confused to protest, you answer. “We work together.” Then you repeat, “What’s going on?”
Jay sighs, leans his head back against his seat. “He’s in marketing with you?”
“No,” you shake your head. “Programming. I don’t want to ask you again.” This time, you can’t help the expletive. “What the fuck was that?”
“We…” Jay trails off, searching for an explanation. “We know each other.”
“Yeah, no shit. How?”
“We went to the same middle school, before I left for high school. He was a year behind me.”
“And what?” You ask, trying to think of what kind of feud middle schoolers could possibly have that would warrant tonight’s interaction. “He stole your lunch money and you never got over it?”
“Not quite.” His lips are tight. “Look, ___. I know you can’t help who you work with, but Jungwon… he’s not who you think he is.”
“And you are?”
Jay turns to you, hurt clearly written across his features. “That’s not fair.”
“No,” you argue, doubling down. “What’s not fair is giving me vague half truths about my coworker and expecting me to just agree blindly while you evade all of my questions.” A moment of silence passes. Jay says nothing. Finally, you tell him, “If you’re not going to be honest with me, then I think you should just take me home.”
“Wait, ___–”
“I’m serious, Jay. I’m not about to go have dinner with you and pretend that this didn't just happen. Just take me home.” Softening a bit at the obvious distress on his face, you add a quiet, “Please.”
You won’t compromise your boundaries, but you don’t have it in you to be needlessly cruel, even if his evasiveness bothers you to no end.
Jay just sighs, pulling into an empty parking lot before turning around and heading in the opposite direction. Towards your apartment.
The rest of the car ride passes in stilted silence, neither of you willing to break it.
Jay is the first one to speak, but it’s not until you’re sliding out of his passenger seat, back turned towards him.
“Good night, ___.”
For a moment, you consider just ignoring him. But it feels petty, even for these circumstances. For now, you’ll just have to trust that he needs time to find a way to tell you the truth.
“Good night,” you tell him. But you still don’t look back.
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READ PART TWO HERE
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note: I AM SO ANNOYEDDDDD this was all supposed to be one long fic, not two parts, but tumblr's post block limit got me. Honestly I don't know how I avoided it this long. Anyway the second part is written and will be posted soon. In the meantime, let me know what you're thinking so far! As always, thank you for reading ♡
#jungwon fanfiction#jungwon fanfic#jungwon x you#jungwon x reader#enhypen fanfiction#enhypen fanfic#enhypen x you#enhypen x reader#jungwon scenarios#enhypen scenarios
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Reckless (m)
Pairing: adult actor!mingyu x pervert afab!reader Genre: smut Word count: 4.8k tags: camboy!mingyu, established friendship, banter, brat!reader, glass toys, invasion of privacy, rough play, anal, double penetration, degradation (pervert, slut), choking, spanking, spitting, oral (giving and receiving), swallowing, hair pulling, deep throating Summary: Mingyu is a camboy and proud of it, as he should. Finally, he's getting the applause he deserves for his work and will be attending one of the biggest adult industry events to date. He just needs you to watch over while his house while he's gone. Easy enough, right? Unbeknownst to him, you happened to be a fan. A big one. One so big that you cant help but take advantage what Mingyu fans have only ever dreamed of. author note: finally the awaited winner, camboy!mingyu! still so crazy he won over multiple reverse harems on the poll. tagging my wife @wongyuseokie because it's her birthday and deserves to wake up with some NASTY mingyu smut. thank you @highvern for beta-reading to better this fic and like both of us are saying, mingyu is a fucking freakkk in this so enjoy my babies.
Tag: @shiningstar-byulxx @misssugarlips @tommolex @hoeforhao @dkakapizzaboy @junhui-recs @svtup @buffhoshi @meowmeowminnie @caratochan @lovebot4han @camisun93 @emmmui @toruro @jeonride @novalpha @nvmrljk @feat-sun @tinkerbell460 @aaniag @tacosandbitch @cottoncheol @embrace-themagic @onlymingyus
You have only seen the room in passing personally, but countless times over video. You’re not even shocked by the dozens of expensive toys he’s put in those glass displays, so used to seeing them enter a human orifice one way or the other. The burly man bashfully guides you away from the scandalous room, skillfully diverting your attention to the lush foliage he's entrusted you to tend to, a gentle blush adorning his warm-toned cheeks.
How you keep the fact that you have been secretly watching your friend’s cam shows–including the charity stream of him doing push ups in a singular pair of skintight briefs–was a mystery, even to you.
It’s not like you meant to get addicted to porn. But Mingyu, unapologetic about his line of work, practically served it up on a silver platter for you. He says he could use all the help he could get, but frankly, he couldn’t have it more easy.
With that body, that hair, that face, that smile, there’s no doubt in your mind he’d be a fan favorite and you were right. He’s now one of the rising adult content creators in his line of work, heavily acclaimed in the cam category and recently in independent film. That’s what his trip is about, awarding him for his hard work that he never thought he’d accomplish.
It fills you with pride, yet piques your curiosity; fusing platonic and sensual feelings that blur the lines between friendship and desire for Mingyu, actualizing this full fledged crush. But you’d never let him find that out. Not unless it was against your will.
“And that’s pretty much it. Everything else is pretty self-explanatory. I’ll be back on Tuesday.”
“Tuesday, hmm?” Your eyebrows bounce in place suggestively. “Thinking of pursuing personal projects while working?”
He shrugs like a timid schoolboy, cheekbones pigmented and perky like bright ripe cherries. “No promises—Now, repeat back to me everything I’ve told you to do.”
You playfully roll your eyes, offended he had the gall to doubt you. “Water each green buddy once a day; keep crumbs off tables, counters, furniture, etc; put everything back where it should be; and,” you start to grin, “no sex parties, even though this is the perfect place for it.”
“Okay, that last one was obviously a joke but very much serious. Although tempting, under any circumstances, do not fuck anyone in this house while I’m gone.”
“So circumstances would be different if you were home?”
Getting a shade brighter in red, he points a demanding finger at you like a stern mother, “I mean it.”
“Yes, mom,” sarcasm coating your tongue.
“Good.”
Mingyu, armed with a suitcase containing all his essentials, casually waves you off. There's a playful authority in the final point of his finger, a silent reminder to behave before he disappears behind the imposing door.
You promise him you’ll do your due diligence in taking care of his home, and that would be an easy enough task, the real problem stems from the temptation of one specific room. Mingyu’s cam room.
Distinct from the usual rooms such as the bathroom, Mingyu's kitchen, and his primary bedroom, this space stands alone, akin to an office. Mingyu himself has shared its origin story: starting from the sweetest of riddances of a god-awful roommate, followed by many desperate nights to cover the remaining monthly rent, ultimately giving birth to this room that many of his fans like to call ‘Sinner’s Safehaven.’ So rightfully acclaimed.
You’re a fan of yourself, able to outline the bedroom from memory and recollect every toy from every live stream he’s ever posted. Unable to resist the temptation, your feet instinctively embark on a self-guided tour. Your eyes are bewitched by the intricacies of every weapon of pleasure, every scent of his array of miscellaneous liquids, every phallic-shaped object that stands tall and mighty like a national monument.
It’d be a lie to say you weren’t tempted to take advantage of the opportunity, maybe just to get the sick idea out of the way. Your hands manage to find a mind of their own, reaching over to unlock one of the glass displays, wrapping your hand around the object’s girth, and taking it out from its confinement for a closer view.
A stunning crystal toy that reflects off the lights of the room, looking in pristine condition as if fresh from packaging. If Mingyu is good at one thing it’s maintaining his tools, and he does not let anyone forget.
Ever since he showcased it on screen, you've desired to covet one just like it, inducing a late-night web surf to discover the outrageous out-of-reach prices for a product of such exceptional quality and aesthetic appeal. It does not look to be in the cards for you to own one, but borrowing wouldn’t be a problem. He did say everything only needed to be put back in place and what he didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him.
Following the devilish voice whispering in your ear, you slip into something more comfortable, letting the well-conditioned air blow a draft against your bare legs. You hold the toy excitedly before dipping your weight in the bed, the silk sheets and pillowy cushion embracing you at all sides.
The knowledge that the infamous crystal dildo is in your hand makes your heart pound and pussy throb. You can count all the videos of it being featured with one hand, and despite it all, you know it had to be Mingyu's favorite.
One particular video comes to mind as you hold the tip against your inner thigh, moving it identical to the way Mingyu held it against him, realizing they are coincidentally the same length, same girth, and same tantalizing presence. You practically dreamed of having him and this toy inside of you for months after that show and now half of that dream would be possible.
Your fingers didn’t have to be inside you to know you’re wet, practically soaked through your panties the moment you laid eyes of Mingyu and his sex room. Fuck, if you aren’t so damn ashamed of the truth of your feelings, you’d never let him out of your sight.
A long note of your moan exhales as you insert the tip between your wet folds, introducing the strangest yet arousing thing to be done to you. It’s certainly big as you expect it to be, maybe even more as you plunge it in deeper. Affirmations exit your lips in short bursts, your other hand up your shirt as they tease your nipples through your bra.
Your legs crutch in reaction to its ridged shape massaging your walls, then the cool hard surface finds that familiar hotspot, unfortunately only halfway down its length. Your cheeks flush imagining Mingyu’s face, imagining the words to come out of those lips if it were his cock.
‘Already? I haven’t even put it all in yet.’
It fuels your determination, deadset in taking all of it—all of him.
‘You can do it, can't you? You can take my cock for me?’
Somewhere, lost in the contagious air of sex and starvation, your mind runs rampant. Your hips buck into the crystal, letting it settle inside you all the way before you thrust it harder. You hiss at its size, expelling a moan once you no longer feel its shaft around your fingers and just take it, take it as if it a canine smile were on the other end.
‘So good…so good at taking all of my cock.’
“I am being good,” you mumble under your breath. “So good...”
Your whimpers go unnoticed by you, only worried of the dildo carrying on its mission. Sensation running down your legs and arms, and your hips hover over the mattress. Your back arches and you spell his name out in the only way the body fully intends you to: in longing breaths, “Mingyu…please…”
‘What? What is it?’
You groan at the image of his smile. “Let me cum please…”
‘Do you deserve it?’
“Yes, Gyu, please…” You thrust faster. “Oh my god—“
‘Yes, that’s it. That pretty pussy should cum all over my hard fucking cock.’
“Yes, yes!” Your arousal seeps all around you, a visible stain beneath your thighs and you don’t care. “God, right there! Right there—“
“What do you think you’re doing?”
Then it becomes no longer your imagination. The voice you’ve created in your mind had an echo, lingering in the depths of your filth rotted head, but the one you just heard had to be the original.
You scramble to hide under the sheets, eyes as big as saucers as the man of your fantasy stands clear in your reality at the foot of his bedroom. “M-Mingyu. The train.”
“I forgot some things. Couldn’t leave without them, so I told the driver to turn back.” He peers over your situation, intrigued by your legs folded on top of one another beneath the covers, the proof trepidation of your forehead, and your lips swollen from instinctive biting. “What do we have here?”
You laugh nervously, unprepared for the shitshow soon to arise. “I see how this looks—“
“Looks like you’ve had a bit of fun.” He huffs with his arms crossed as he approaches, the human made stain plain in sight on his bed sheets which you’ve fail to cover up. “Too much maybe. And all by yourself.”
“Well, you see—“
“And the mess you made.” His hand pushes against the mattress, leaning over to your side and drinking in your view. “All over my bed. All over my Crystal dildo.”
You avoid his gaze, wishing to disappear in a cloud of smoke right about now. “Okay. You can understand how this would bother you.”
“Oh I’m not bothered by it—not in the slightest—but…you could’ve at least waited until I came back.”
Mingyu pulls the sheets off of you and he exposes your guilt, seeing it in its raw, glistening glory. His eyes scan over you, swallowing at that scent revealed, and a fire lights up in his stomach. “Dirty little pervert can’t stop saying my name while using my toy, hmm? Don’t you know better to touch things that don’t belong to you?”
“I…I…I’m sorry,” You squeak.
“Well, I can’t just let this go now, can I?”
You shake your head, breathing through your nose. You’re scared of him hearing how fast your heart has decided to pound, how wet you’ve become well after your orgasm, and how dry your throat is after you heard him call you a pervert.
Wordlessly, he takes the glass dildo from your fingertips, claiming what’s rightfully his, and plunging between his lips halfway down its shaft. Your eyes capture it in full color, reveling in the moan that slips past his lips. Your chest rises and falls watching him take it deeper almost effortlessly as his slack cladded knees dip into the mattress.
“Mmh…who knew a pervert’s pussy could taste so sweet,” he mumbles, smiling into the toy. It leaves his mouth with a pop before it aims back at you. “Taste it. Taste how sweet your dirty pussy is all over my cock.”
Your stomach coils, reluctantly obliging to crack open your mouth. Mingyu hums, content with what he sees as he eases the toy towards your mouth. “Don’t be shy. Take my crystal cock, perv.”
Your lips wrap around the head, tasting the salty, faintly sweet, flavor lingering on the glass before it travels past your lips.You look back at him, almost as if waiting for his instruction, and receive a stroke on the back of your head as a response.
“That’s it. Let it go deep down your throat. Have to make up for ruining my bed, right?”
You nod, unable to speak as you bob down, licking up what you can and collecting every inch of the toy. His eyes become a dark pit that stares back at you, dominance taking over his entire presence. He doesn’t speak, only watches and for what feels like forever, pushing the toy in and out of your mouth.
Your muffle around its girth, tears starting to brim your eyes as it hits the back of your throat, but it doesn’t falter Mingyu in the slightest.
"You're crying. Does it hurt?" Mingyu asks in a domineering tone, to which you nod. "Do you want me to stop?" he inquires, to which you shake your head.
His lips graze your ear, and you sense his charming smile whispering against your skin as he replaces the imaginary devilish voice with his very real and alluring one. “Then deep throat it like you mean it, you fucking slut.”
Your lips parted wider, a shattered moan aches out, only to have the toy stuck down your throat long enough for your tears to sting. Gasping for air, Mingyu finally shows mercy and unplug your airways. Coughing uncontrollably, salvia dribbles down your chin as you retrieve your stolen oxygen. His hand tenderly caresses at the back of your head, threading through the tangles of your hair.
“Good job,” he says in a hushed voice, picking your face up by your chin. “Now. Do you think that was an appropriate punishment?”
He tucks your hair behind your ear, lethally silent as he anticipates your response.
It takes you a moment to realize where you are, who you're with, and what this all meant for you. Mingyu’s cam persona has haunted your inner thoughts, degrading you as if you were scum, tossing your body like a rag doll, marking and bruising your skin only he would find, and you relished in every earth-shattering, mind-blowing orgasm it’s caused. You’d be a fool to say otherwise.
“N-no. It’s not enough.”
“Is that so,” He questions amused. Slowly, his hand travels from your hair to your face, tracing your jaw in a languid movement and coming across your neck to size it in his large hand. “What will be enough for you exactly?”
The pad of his fingers presses the slightest amount of pressure on the column of your neck, emerging a gasp so soft Mingyu almost doesn't register it. He grins, hot breath fanning your face as he watches your legs squirm. It comes as a surprise to you when he single-handedly pins your body against the bed frame, leveraging you against it before he comes down and faces your pussy drowning its own cum.
“I should at least have compensation done for the damage you’ve made, don’t you think?”
He grips your neck a fraction tighter before you feel his mouth make contact with your core. Physically vibrating, you feel the sensation of his tongue flicking at your clit, and visibly melt before he explores down. “You’re so fucking wet,” he chuckles condescendingly through your arousal. “If I knew any better I’d think you’re wet because of me, as if the screaming of my name wasn’t proof enough.”
“Mingyu...” you whine through your ceased breath.
“And you sound so pretty when you say my name too,” He groans as inhales your scent that blurs his surroundings, devouring you inside and out. “Fucking tease…taste so damn good.”
Mingyu’s chokehold loosens to cascade down your body, fingers moving like ribbons tracing your shape and memorizing every bump and curve through the thin layer of your shirt. Your voice gives out, clenching your fists as he explores you in swirls, moisture seeping out of your cunt but never ending and leaving you in an endless loop of pleasure.
He holds you up by your legs, your thighs crushing either side of his face as he buries himself in your insatiable pussy while its dripping down his chin and neck. He groans inside you, mustering every impish sound possible as he eats you clean, not minding how you’re at the end of your wits locking his head in place.
“G-gyu, shit,” you sputter. “I’m c-close.”
He simply scoffs, “Good,” plunging his tongue deeper, nose pushing against your swollen clit. Words stay lodged down your throat, trapped from escaping as you writhe in his grip and he swallows the taste of you succumbing to his control. You aren’t aware of the eyes watching every second of you give in, how they beam with pride and greed as he goes for more. The notes of fruit and musk only makes Mingyu’s craving intensify, unwilling to surrender the sweet nectar once he’s gotten his taste.
With a yelp, he drops your legs and tugs you toward him, rendering you defenseless as he's clamped either of your side. You drink in his body towering over you as he swiftly pulls his shirt over his head and off his body, bestowing you a deific image that you never grow tired of.
“Shall I help you undress?” He offers, kindly for once.
You drop your head in a reluctant nod and your heart swells at the sight of his smile before they capture your lips, tasting yourself on his tongue.
Mingyu’s movement isn’t needy, it’s efficient and effective. Salty peppermint kisses and hands that move gingerly with ease culminate proof of a man that has countless amounts of partners and endless experience. Almost as if he’s ready for any and every given opportunity and you more than believe it.
Seeing as he knows how to handle himself, undoubtedly that meant he’d know how to handle you. That rouses you, anticipation resonating in the pit of your stomach, and like that, you’ve embraced your nudity just as Mingyu has in the safety of his firm arms.
He manages to kick off his pants, freeing him of the restraint of fabric and his hips dip into yours. And again and again. And again and again. Just to show you what you’ve created in your messy experiment.
If you weren’t already hot under his touch, you swear the room was hotter than any vast desert. Perspiration sprayed against your back, your forehead, your chest, but strangely you’re obsessed with his and the incidentally salty taste of his skin as you kiss. “You feel huge,” you mutter in a flustered breath.
His cock pulsates through his briefs against your thigh, screaming to join the party and make himself known in ways he hasn’t shown yet. Not yet with you. He smiles against your lips, grasping your hips more firmly. More definitely. “It’s too soon to be saying that.”
“Then…” Your fingers, tantalized by the appearance of his styled hair, didn’t resist the urge to comb through it, pleasantly surprised with the silky, pliable sensation. “I hope I get to soon.”
“Pervert,” he repeats with a grin. His hand wraps around your wrist, pulling it away from his head and landing on the hem of his underwear. Mingyu is good at getting back on track as he immediately pulls his waistband away from torso, springing his cock that stands in your direction in determination. A familiar yet foreign sight that you never expected to be on the other end of. “By the way, don’t forget. You’re making it up to me. Not the other way around.”
Naturally, your hand finds the ridged texture of his shaft. “Yes, of course.” You feel it twitch under his touch, growing as a nail trails up a singular vein. “But I never said I’d make that easy.”
“Really? A sentence where ‘you’ and ‘easy’ just seems to fit.”
You sneer at him, calming down after seeing an amicable jab you’re used to. “You’re one to talk.”
“And I won’t be done talking. On your knees,” He demands.
“Or what?”
Mingyu isn’t new to your taunting but he can't help the steam coming out of his ears this time around. Gathering your weight, he swiftly turns you on your stomach and props you up as his cock settles between the cheeks of your ass. “I’ll do things like that. I’m patient until I’m not. Not when it comes to perverted brats like you.”
You voluntarily moan as you back into him, allowing the cock to slide up and down. “I’d like to see it. Unless you’re all talk.”
A familiar coolness of glass finds itself home in your sopping cunt. You mewl at the sensation, rolling your eyes to the back of your head. The side of your head braces for the bed and letting the toy suction your pussy, buzzing . “Fuck…”
“Spoke to soon, didn’t you?”
“Have—fuck—mercy…” Your words speak like pleads but your body could not be more delightful in taking every inch, adjusting from the backside in record time.
“See? Look at you take all that cock,” he spits in the smack center, rubbing around your rim and pussy thoroughly. “And knowing you and our conversations, I know you can take it well somewhere else. Isn’t that right?”
“Y-you wouldn’t…”
“I can. Unless…that’s not what you want. Unless you want me to leave this room without putting my cock in you and not fuck you like the dirty fucking slut you are.”
“Fuck…you…” The glass vanished through you, reappearing at Mingyu's will, muffling your protests, and swallowing the glass dildo satisfyingly from your cunt. The bedsheets become balls in your hand, wrinkled and worn, just as you planned to be after Mingyu is through with you.
“That’s not an answer.” He teases, thrusting faster.
“Shit…fuck…Yes please fuck, I want it. I want more. Please…”
“Excited are you, pervert?” He inquires, managing to grab the lube from a nearby drawer and squirt it on the ring of your hole. The bite of the cool gel stings in a way that’s familiar, but does not grow any easier as it physically and mentally preparing you.
“You…suck…Kim Mingyu…”
“I’ve already done that already, perv.”
Taking the crystal dildo out of your pussy, he carefully sets it aside, prepping your untouched hole for entry and feeling you clenched around his fingers. “So tight. What? Did you lie and you’re actually an anal virgin.”
“I’m not,” you moan in defense, hearing the erotic squelching burns your ears and makes your already hot skin scorching to the touch. His fingers are tolerable, but still bigger you’re used to and it’s more apparent as he inserts another finger. “I just never had anything that big. Nothing your size.”
“I’m honored.”
You hope that his cock could fuck you the way his fingers does, if not then better, already buzzing at the pace they move inside you, stretching you wider and wider.
“F-fuck off.”
“Not yet. It’s coming.” You feel the head of the dildo perk up your rim as it eases in you, the drip of lube between your cheeks drowning your hole and all the moisture it could ask for. Still, Mingyu is careful to adjust to your preference, opening you up and seeing how the toy slowly destroys you inside and out.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” Your hands slam against the bed, allowing the gradual introduction to take over all your senses.
“You’re taking the cock so well up your ass, fuck. I haven’t seen anyone do that yet. Remember you talking about it, made curious if you actually could.”
“I don’t lie…about stuff…like that…” you spread your ass, offering the perfectly lewd view for Mingyu, practically dripping all for him.
“Shit, I need to be inside you.”
He rolls a condom on his length, tossing the wrapper where he doesn’t see it and teases your slit moist in your cum. In the midst of it, you feel the tip of his cock rubbing your clit, and your whine ensue as you wait for more, not properly being used to the full advantage. Mingyu laughs to himself, seeing how desperate you look, reveling in the sounds that leave your body as it fuels his cock before he plunges inside you.It's an indescribable sensation, almost sacrilegious in its intensity, yet it leaves you convinced that Heaven must reside wherever Mingyu is.
You thought you knew the meaning of being spit open until it’s Mingyu reintroducing the idea. His cock and toy planted so deep inside you, fucking both of your holes until you’re rendered into like what he calls you, a perverted little slut. You don't mind in the slightest; in fact, when the thoughts swirling through your mind are nothing but incoherent, you're utterly indifferent to anything else. Your state of matter was to be fucked, double fucked, and fucked to ruin until you’ve come over and over again.
“Stupid slut…stupid…perverted…fucking slut…Look at you…you like getting fucked in the pussy and ass, hmm?”
“Yes god yes,” you confirm, devoid of words otherwise.
He smacks you full against the cheek, groaning into the sex thicken air as he melts into your body like butter. “Yeah? How does it make you feel?”
“Full…”
“You like that?” Another smack to your ass. “Fucking pervert likes being fucked full. Big fucking surprise.”
His thrusts grow rough, already annoyed by the toy in his hands when he’s eager to plant both on your body and fill the full extent of your body. “God you’re hot,” he mumbles, “Why does a pervert like you get to be so hot, hmm?” He rams into you, feeling you jump back against him.
“Makes me want to fucking drain my cock in you, but no, I have—“ he slams again, a burst of ache living your lips, “—Work! God, I fucking needed this. I needed you and every inch before I needed to leave.”
You’d respond if you weren’t so occupied. He drowns your thoughts out every second he’s inside you, to the point nothing else exists.
“Shit, I have work,” Mingyu repeats as if dawning the thought for the first time. He lets go of the toy and manages to direct it with his thrusts, moving him and the toy into you at the same pace. You scream at him, shattered breaths taking over you, and his name is the only consistent, as you spread yourself wider to take it, left with only the base of the toy and the end of Mingyu’s shaft.
“I’m coming, I’m coming,” you whine incessantly, shaking and bucking into him until you cum all over his cock, undoubtedly flooding and dripping down the side of your legs.
But Mingyu takes his time and it tastes sweet than any candy, fucking your pussy and ass deeper, harder until his mind as gone as yours is. “Shit, shit, shit. Turn around and look at me.”
You do as told, dildo still in the pocket of your ass, as his cock is aimed at your lips, the condom abandoned just like its wrapper. His hands run in your hair, gripping from the root and he pushes you over the head of his cock, groaning as more pretty souvenir images for him to look back on. “Look at you. Good at taking cock there too?”
You nod, mumbling a confirmation before Mingyu penetrates deeper, noticing him lodged in you throat before bucking his hips in your mouth. “Then take it. Take all of my cum. Can’t leave another mess behind.”
Wide eyes of mischief look back at him, holding him by the back of his cock as you bob against him. He grips tighter to the back of his head, pulling and tugging as your hair become the size of his fists and you feel him hit the back of your throat. He now sees the white of your eyes, the flare of your nostrils, the quiver of jaw before it overwhelms him.
“Fuck, take it.” The load builds up to its full intensity, intoxicating him until theirs tears even in his eyes, the kind that supersedes one of joy.
You hold his hips with both spreadhands, welcoming his release with closed eyes. You mouth gets flooded, blown up so full you’re close to choking, gagging from the contents dispersed in you.
“Take it,” Mingyu says fatigued. “You don’t have to swallow it, but take it.”
But you do swallow it, what you could anyway, and it’s inevitable that you’re a coughing mess when you unlatch from him, dribbling in a concoction of your bodily fluids and cum running along your torso, cunt, and legs.
“Okay,” Mingyu pants, “Now I really need to get to that train.”
You’re catching your breath as he cleans himself off with wet paper towels he had on hands, cleaning off the work of his cock but leaving the rest of him untouched. It’s fine, however, seeing as he glows with an air of lust, making him more charismatic than he normally did, and you’re brimming with pride knowing you’ve caused it. “I’m surprised you have that much energy off camera.”
“It helps, that it’s you.” He timidly admits, raising the temperature in your body. “And who said we’re off camera.” He points to the security camera at the corner of his room, reminding you too late that he’s used to using more than one camera to capture any and all angles. “I even forgot about it for a second.”
“Oh.”
“I can delete it if you want.”
“No it’s okay, but um….Send me a copy.”
#svthub#mingyu smut#kim mingyu smut#seventeen smut#kim mingyu#mingyu#seventeen#seventeen fanfic#seventeen x reader#svt#mingyu x reader#mingyu x you#mingyu x y/n#mingyu scenarios#mingyu imagines#seventeen mingyu#seventeen kim mingyu#seventeen x you#seventeen x y/n#mingyu fanfic#kim mingyu x reader#kim mingyu x you#kim mingyu x y/n
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Each Era of Leon finding out about your pregnancy:
Leon Kennedy x AFAB!Reader Warnings: Fluff, Pregnancy, Self- Doubt, Light Angst, Drinking, Alcoholism, Depression,
RE2, RE4R, Infinite Darkness, Damnation, Vendetta, RE6, Death Island
RE2:
You found out before he was set to go to transfer to Raccoon City.
Leon went ahead before you, falling into his old drinking habits making him feel awful. He spent the night in a Motel as he frantically tried to find a living situation for you both before you moved out with him.
Once that was settled, he was due to start his new job, only to be faced with the events of Raccoon City. He spent the entire night thanking the heavens you hadn't come out to him yet.
It was radio silence from him for weeks, he had given you a panicked phone call asking you to move in with your parents and he would try to get back, news slowly filtered into your town about the nuke going off. With the pregnancy hormones, it was a rough first trimester.
You didn't actually get to tell him until he showed up on your doorstep looking different, his eyes were tired and almost looked empty like he was being haunted by something.
He sat you down in your room, talking to you about everything. His head was in your lap as he silently wept mourning the loss of his life he was so sure was going to happen.
You broke the news then, pulling out a box full of tests that you had kept.
He was silent at first. His eyes were puffy and red as he stared at the stick in his fingers.
He wanted to give you an over-the-moon reaction but his fear was justified, he had just seen nightmares...living nightmares and now he was meant to bring in a child to this world.
You knew about his promise to the government to protect that little girl, that is how you knew he was going to be a good dad...was still a good person even if he didn't seen it yet.
Before he was sent off to his training, with a final kiss he promised to come back to you no matter what...back to the both of you. His way of telling you he had accepted his new title and a silent promise that he would do everything in his power to be there for the both of you as much as possible. Even with the circumstances.
RE4R:
You had known Leon for a while meeting him in the office with Hunnigan as you helped her deal with the long night on the Spain mission.
Neither of you had actually made anything official, Leon wasn't in the right headspace for that title. Which is why it was a panic when you saw you were pregnant a week after he came back from Spain.
Apparently in your drunken celebrations of him not dying you both forgot about protection.
Leon was still being thrown into work so the only time you really saw him was around the office or before he was sent away. Yet he still noticed something was wrong.
You were running to the bathroom more often and spent breaks at your desk instead of the break room. Avoided certain foods he knew you loved.
Eventually, he felt the need to ask you. What better way to do that than to send an ominous text about him coming over.
You were nervous, panicking thinking he wanted sex and if you could even keep up with him due to your extreme amounts of fatigue.
He was chill when you answered the door, expression gentle...even smiling compared to the normal brooding look he displayed.
Then came the question 'Are you okay?'
Hormones got the best of you there and it all came spilling out. He took it like a champ bringing you into his body to comfort you. (I like to think after Ashley he became more open to physical affection if he initiated it.)
Suspect he's silent with shock as he tries to process things. Probably making you feel worse. Eventually, he talks explaining that he's happy for it and I think it would be the final push for him to actually commit to you and use titles.
Goes home and feels all giddy inside; he's still young and this just gives him something else to keep fighting for
Infinite Darkness:
He's not given up fully yet with life, still has a spring in his step but he's busy. Really busy.
In what others would say is the height of his career he wouldn't be able to commit to a relationship really, optionally sleeping around instead.
He's hot and he knows it
Ending with a similar situation to RE4 Leon where it's really unexpected. You find out whilst he's there though, I imagine the relationship he has with you is more friends with benefits.
You were going to do it that night anyway he just interrupted. You had taken the test and were waiting for the results when he knocked on the door.
You answered and forgot about the test on the side, both of you getting lost in the TV etc.
He went to the bathroom and saw the test, he saw the results first. However, he doesn't know if you are sleeping with anyone other than him so he doesn't say anything.
It's not until you go to the bathroom that you remember and have your own mini freak out. You come back into the living room, face paled and tears in your eyes.
He offers comfort anyway, being respectful and waiting for you to tell him if you want to.
It slips out anyway.
He's scared at first and goes slightly frigid. I don't think he's really in a place to want the child so he tries to be respectful and working on your terms.
Despite not being ready to enter a relationship I think he would do it for you, every other person is a one-night stand compared to you he comes back for more. Even promises to stop sleeping around.
You try a relationship, ignoring the pregnancy, to begin with until everything sort of clicks in place. When it does he's super excited.
Buying all the books and anything you might need; if he's going to work lots might as well spend it on making sure you and his babe get a good start.
RE6:
I'd say things are where his life really starts to tip. He's a fugitive for months, pretends to be dead etc and afterwards, I think it's where he starts to go downhill.
That being said, you are already in a relationship with him and have been for a while. He's not sure how he got you but he did. It's been about 2 years since you got together.
You know what he does for work and you both try to do what's best for each other and that works well for the both of you.
You find out before the beginning of RE6, meaning when you hear a knock on the door you expect to find him coming home with some corny joke only to be met with the flag and 2 agents.
You fall into a slump, trying your best to keep going for the little one he gifted you before he died; watching the horrors on the news wondering if it's even worth doing without him.
So when you get a knock on the door around 2 months into the pregnancy you are shocked, angry and happy. I'm surprised Leon didn't get whiplash.
You knew it was not his fault, he had no other option and you're very glad he's okay.
But you are mad...very mad.
He hates that he's done this to you, falling heavily into his drinking when you've gone to bed. For the pain he caused you and the events themselves still haunt you.
The relationship would have failed if it wasn't for the baby being in the equation. So he works to keep it under control and you slowly pull yourself out of the depression you fell into.
Slowly you work it out together, moving only forward until you calm down and are ready for the next chapter.
Damnation:
Poor guy barely gets his pussy breakfast with the amount he's still being sent out.
He's genuinely surprised he even made a child with the amount of quick fucks he's had with you instead of the long loving sessions he assumed he would have had should you both make the decision to start trying.
When you tell him at first he's over the moon, probably actually gives you the biggest reaction off the bat out of all the eras.
However, that's until he's left with his thoughts. You're laying in his arms, his hand is resting on your stomach and he starts to doubt himself.
He's thinking about if he would be a good dad, is he going to treat you well, can he commit to you as much as he would want to.
Full-blown panic mode
You noticed, of course you did. Always observant. And you force him to talk about, set aside the bottle and actually voice the concerns allowed.
Then once he's calmed, he'll go back to being happy. Already boasting about it at work.
Vendetta:
Despite this being the worst time period of his life. Where everything just feels too much. I don't think he would react negatively or refuse to accept it in any way.
I think he just thinks he won't be able to be a good dad and it sours his mood even further.
You both took the test together after you raised concerns about your period. He went out and got them, the whole ordeal feeling strange. His stomach is gurgling and swirling but not because of the alcohol for once.
He's so happy to be a dad that he is now just panicking about it but in a way where he's more worried for you. And what could go wrong with you.
At this point you are the one constant thing in his life, the only thing he keeps actually going for. Anyone could reference you when they mention a mission to him and he's all for it. You are the reason he keeps beating and going.
So he goes down the rabbit hole of the worst that could happen. Googling things, reading them in books, the doctors talking.
He's in Colorado not because he wanted to leave you alone but because he just needed a minute.
Chris helps him get up, trust that you'll be okay. And to fight one last fight.
When he does he's fighting for you and the baby, it's so worth it when he comes back. Arms full of things for you.
And he really kicks in to get sober now, to better himself for you and the baby, to ensure he can be the best dad he can be.
Death Island:
He was prepared for this. It's a little later than he wanted, but his life has never really been his.
When you proposed the idea he wasn't keen at first considering himself too old to have children, then he got carried away with his thoughts and he needed to do it.
Like he was insatiable until you were pregnant.
When you were, he was over the moon. Telling everyone the next day; sending you flowers and bringing home treats. You are a goddess now and he will treat you as such.
He's reading all the books and knows more than you at this point.
I feel like he's the type to try and cook food based on the baby's measurements that week and either he's a really good cook meaning it's great or it's just nice he tried.
He's getting all the adverts on Facebook etc about useful products and buying with other a second thought even if they are a scam.
He's already planning out the nursery with you. Like you need to take away his access to money at this point.
#resident evil x reader#leon kennedy x reader#leon kennedy#leon s kennedy x reader#leon scott kennedy#resident evil fanfiction#resident evil#leon kennedy x you#leon kennedy imagine
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prompt 16 with Logan on the fluff list! thinking that their messing around and reader accidentally confesses and it’s a toooootal love bomb after that
Confession | DP&W!Logan Howlett x F!Reader
Warnings: Mentions of a panic attack
Rating: PG
Word Count: 2.7k…did I get carried away? Yes.
Author’s Note: Okay but why am I sobbing at my own writing? This request was so cute, thank you for this nonie!
To be tagged in any future work of mine, please fill this out.
“Wade when I said we should watch The Wizard of Oz, I didn’t mean that you need to dress up as Dorothy and act out the entire movie!” You exclaimed in the living room, trying your hardest to suppress a laugh as Wade twirls in front of the couch. The blue and white checkered dress swirled in the air as he spun, arms wide out as he threw his head back. In the background, droning on was “Somewhere Over the Rainbow,” to which Wade decided it was the perfect time to lip sync. Days like this are what you cherished most, especially when things were a bit shit all around. The world wasn’t as safe as it used to be, but in this little apartment – it was comfort. Solace, everything you all needed to wait out the storm down below.
“You may not have wanted that, but they did.” Wade lets out nonchalantly, whispering the last part at the brick wall, causing you to look around him. Every so often he would stare off into a hidden camera, like it was The Office, speaking to the “audience” about what was going on. At first it was funny, charming even – but when it got to be quips about you, it was almost instinctive how you needed to roll your eyes. Now? It was just another thing about Wade you admired, how he could keep himself entertained like this and forget how things were outside, there was no judgement but pure love and laughter. Shaking your head with a smile, you sigh out as you stand from the couch, stretching your back. “Whatever you say, Wade.” As you felt your tailbone crack, you smiled softly at the release. It felt nice to get up and walk, to stretch out a bit before engaging more with Wade’s antics of today. It was endearing to see him doing this – you knew everything was getting to him as well, and you both needed a good laugh. What you silently hoped for though, was for Logan to join the two of you.
It was obvious your feelings for him, Wade called that out the second you both first met. The way your eyes went from thin slits of weariness to full blown hearts was enough to make his head spin – Logan on the other hand seemed to have no effect. But that’s what he wanted you to think. It had been months since your apartment flooded, causing you to move two floors up with Wade, Logan, Laura and Al. But it had been the best months of your life, creating new friendships and hoping to blossom out of the awkward phase with Logan. A stoic, quiet man who truly needed this – needed a friend – needed to know he was loved. You wanted to help him with that, if only you could get over this little hump of self-doubt. It was a silent battle you faced internally; Rejection scared you and hurt more than anything else – but you’d respect the decision if it happened. The struggle was the worst part of it, how it ate you alive. Wade would always try to help quell it but alas, your mind could be very fickle.
As you made your way into the kitchen, you rounded the counter, back facing towards the living room as you hummed along with the song. Lost in your own little world, you didn’t notice when the bedroom door to the left started to slowly open, your head down to face the coffee maker as you stuck your mug underneath, using the hot water for your tea. It wasn’t until you saw something sparkling out of the corner of your eye that it caught your attention. You knew Mary Puppins had a flashy little get up, since Wade spent four days bedazzling her suit, but then you remembered Laura had taken her out for a walk a few minutes prior. Cocking your brow, you turn slowly to see what that shine is – not expecting to see what you did. “Holy shit,” you mumble out, your eyes shooting wide open. There was no proper way to react except shocked, your body freezing at the sight.
Logan was home after all, hiding away in his room. But what you didn’t realize was that Wade had gotten him to dress up for the movie. Standing there in his gray and black flannel, gray sweatpants, and white socks was your Logan – face covered in silver face paint, sparkling against the orange hued lighting of the kitchen. You stopped to stare at him, admiration making your heart grow as Wade let out a dramatic gasp, his hands coming up to cover his mouth. “Robocop has arrived!” Wade cheered, hoping over the back of the couch and standing on the opposite side of the kitchen. At the comment, Logan growled in Wade’s direction, sending him straight daggers. “Don’t give me that look, Pookie. You know what you signed up for.”
Logan could help but groan as his gaze shifted back towards you; The silvery color making his eyes glow brighter than usual. A soft green, like a meadow on a cloudy day always stared back at you. But today, it was Emerald City. The glints of golden flecks and little silvery tendrils drifted through his irises, causing your heart to race. You didn’t mean to gaze so deeply into his eyes, finding your own eyes losing focus the further you delved in. You couldn’t tell but Logan’s heart was racing a mile a minute under his shirt, his claws quivering inside his hand. “You’re taking shine bright like a diamond to a whole new level, Lo.” You let a bright smile cascade over your lips as you looked up at him, tilting your head to the side to admire his application skills. Under all the silver you could see a gentle pink blush creeping up his neck, fanning over the little exposed patch of skin beneath his flannel. It wasn’t everyday that Logan blushed – but with you, he couldn’t stop. Even at your teasing, he was a mess.
“His idea.” Logan snickered as he pointed to Wade. “Dipshit told me we were all dressing up as characters.” Of course he did, because that is just how Wade is. He always says one thing, then never tells anyone else. In a way you knew he said it for you, knowing this was your favorite movie and all. To have Logan dress up like the tinman was all for you. A simple admission you made not too long ago about how he was your childhood crush; Convincing Logan to dress up as him only seemed right. Wade could tell you both were mutually pining over one another, and he was tired of the will they won’t they. All he knew was that he wanted his two best friends to be together, to be happy; He knew you’d be good for one another. Wade blew Logan a kiss as he spun in his dress, twirling his way through the kitchen and living room.
“Wade you dirty dog.” You laugh as you roll your eyes, shifting your focus back to your now freshly brewed tea. Taking the mug away from the coffee machine, you bit your bottom lip as you giggled, nudging Logan with your shoulder. “When we need a disco ball for Al’s 70th birthday, we will just strap you to the ceiling and spin you.” You winked in his direction as you slightly raised a brow, indicating that you were joking, but also being a tease. Logan liked when you did that, finding it invigorating how his heart would pound out of his chest. A hearty, sincere laugh slipped from his silvery lips as he narrowed his gaze. Leaning against the countertop, Logan crossed his arms over his eyes, his lips turning up into a challenging smirk. “Oh yeah? You think so, beautiful?” He let out without question, tilting his head to the side as he eyed you up and down. He could hear, smell, how hard your heart was racing as he leaned closer, how your palms grew clammy, how your body shivered under his gaze. There was something so primal clawing its way beneath his skin; He wanted all of you, to be the only one to make you feel this way. “I know so!” You shot back without hesitation, trying to keep your cool.
Logan thought it was cute, how hard you were trying to fight yourself off. Trying so hard not to spill the beans or say what was on your mind. It was a game of hardball, and Logan was going to come out on top like always. Huffing with amusement, he placed his hand softly on your shoulder, letting his wade palm graze down your arm, fingers drifting over the expanse of your wrist. Leaning closer to you, only a hairsbreadth away, Logan whispered as he held your hand lovingly. “Well what if I…” You were so entranced with how he was coming onto you, months of tension finally reaching its peak as the knife cut through it, releasing that hold on you. Closing your eyes as you prepped yourself for what he was about to do next, you pursed your lips instinctively, waiting to feel him on you. Alas, that never came.
In a singular second, Logan roughly pulled you close to him as he rubbed his face all over yours. The burn of his beard across your cheeks made you yelp out, the slippery feel of the face paint flowing over your skin made you laugh. A fit of giggles and playful pushing ignited the room, filtering out the sound of Mary Puppins and Laura coming back from their walk. You couldn’t breathe from how hard you were laughing, trying to muster up the energy to speak as Logan held you close to him. Though you felt his touch burning through your clothes, not one of a friendly nature but one of pure passion. The way he gripped your hip with one hand, and the side of your neck with the other. The way his face slid over yours, it was pure love. Your mind was reeling with endless thoughts of what it would be like to be in love with Logan, never realizing how you spoke aloud. “Ohmygod, I’m in love with an adult man-child.” The words fell out before you had anytime to think about it, not realizing what you had said as you fought yourself through the giggle fit. You didn’t realize what had come out, until Logan stopped.
The tension in the air was palpable, your heart pounding in your ears as you caught your breath. Logan stopped the ministrations on your face, his grip to your neck and hip growing harder, steadier as his breathing picked up. “In love!?” Wade and Laura yelled out from the living room, Mary Puppins gave a little bark as well. In that moment you stopped, your eyes growing wide as you panned upwards. “In love?” Logan asks, his eyes turning from a vibrant green shade to mocha, his pupils blackened. Meeting his gaze, you swallowed back the words I’m kidding, because in reality you were not. It was out there now, there was no taking it back even if you had tried. There wasn’t anything that would make this moment easier to digest, it was all or nothing. “Shit.” That was your only response. The movie in the background grew quiet. Laura, Wade, and Mary Puppins stared at you with wide eyes, trying to process it themselves. Al on the other hand sat by the open window and laughed, keeping his head towards the street below.
All you wanted to do was run; Fight or flight kicking in made you want to scream. It wasn’t the way you announced it that made you scared, nor nervous – but how Logan was staring at you. His once playful demeanor was now clouded with something unreadable, enough to make tears well in your eyes. At the end of the day, if he didn’t feel the same there were no hard feelings, and you both could live with that. But right now, you wanted to be alone, to calm down from the panic rising in your chest. “No, no running away.” Logan whispered for you, and you only. His hardened grip on your neck moved to gently hold your face, his thumb sweeping against your cheek. He could see the fear in your eyes, the unknowing – he wanted to settle that for you. Logan leaned forth to press his forehead against yours. The switch of Logan gave you whiplash; Usually he wasn’t this affectionate with his actions, always keeping to himself, not thinking himself worthy of love. But today, that all changed. “Sweetheart…do you mean that?” Logan’s voice broke slightly as he asked, his own eyes welling with tears.
“Of course she does! She’s in lov-“ Wade began, not even giving you a second to explain yourself. Logan grew tense at hearing him speak. He never pushed his face away from yours as he growled out into the room. “Shut the fuck up!” A shiver ran down your spine at the dominance in his voice, your hands instinctively going out to hold onto his hip as you steadied your breathing. “Ohhh my god,” was all Wade could respond with as he sunk back into the couch, Laura holding her hand over his mouth so he wouldn’t say anything more. It was now or never; Forever hold your peace or tell Logan how you really felt and see where it led from there. Taking a deep breath, you nodded against Logan’s forehead, a shaky breath exhaling from your parted lips. “I do.” The words felt right coming out, there was no line of awkwardness or reluctance to them. It was the truth, and now it was known.
You refused to open your eyes as stare at Logan, hearing the deep inhalation he made at your comment. You knew if you opened your eyes tears would fall, and you were not about to have that. Nothing came to mind on what you could say, nor could you move from where you were planted. Internally you begged someone to say something, to break the silence. Logan must’ve heard your internal thoughts. “Finally, didn’t know how long we were going to play that game, sweetheart.” Logan let out, causing you to open your eyes. He extended himself to his full height as he held your face, peering down into your soul with a genuine, loving smile. It was in that moment his words fully clicked inside of your brain, the mutual pining was over. “I’ve been in love with you since day one. I could tell you were too, but I didn’t want to come on too strong, if you weren’t ready. I wanted it to be on your terms, when you felt it was right.” Logan’s word held you tightly, holding you close to show you just how loved you are, how cherished you are, how appreciated you are. You could tell Logan had more he wanted to say but, actions speak louder than words.
Surging forth, you pressed your lips lovingly against Logan, feeling how the world faded around you. The dull, orange lighting of the kitchen burnt out around you. The hum of the coffee maker, fridge, and lights became silent. The only thing that could be heart was your heartbeats, merging into one. Around you swirled endless love and possibilities, flecks of the brightest yellows and blues flowing out like clockwork, binding you two together. This feels so right. Everything felt so right. Logan felt so right. Nothing in life ever felt like this, nothing ever felt meant to be. Only now did you realize, the love you have been waiting your entire life for, finally arrived. In the form of Logan Howlett, The Wolverine. Your hero.
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Hugh Jackman Taglist: @anamiad00msday @coowayeoo
Logan Howlett Taglist: @livelaughl0ve3 @mehjustalasshere @allen-444
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