#like there's still plenty of time for infection or other complications to show up

[strangeite]

I have yeeted the teets! Day one post-op has been a bit rough (fuck the drains 💀), but honestly not the worst. I was more dead yesterday after the surgery, and my partner says they've seen me looking worse just on bad days with my chronic illness lol.

Also, gotta say, that post about having a Winnie-the-Pooh bod post-top surgery is so right. None chest with left tummy

[nothorses]

Top Surgery Journal

I figured it was time to share my top surgery experiences, so folks can potentially learn from them! I'll be updating this as I have more to add.

For context, I am in the U.S. (specifically Washington state), and a legal adult. A lot of my process may not apply to everyone.

Getting Coverage

The first step to scheduling top surgery is getting insurance coverage for it. Talk to your insurance first to figure out if they do cover top surgery, and what you need to do in order to obtain coverage. Oftentimes it won't be listed officially on your plan, but you can get coverage as long as you can prove you need it.

I was lucky enough to have good insurance with trans healthcare included, so all I needed was a letter from my PCP, and a letter from a behavioral health counselor specializing in gender dysphoria. I didn't need any diagnoses, any specific length of time on HRT, any particular presentation, etc.

(If you live in Washington, state law requires that top surgery be fully covered under Medicare. It might be worth it to check your state's laws as well!)

Referrals

I tried to schedule with a surgeon myself, thinking it was my responsibility to get the documents sent over and everything, but my PCP actually referred me when I first told her I had gotten coverage from my insurance.

I ended up going with that referral because the other surgeon was so hard to get ahold of, but my PCP did also send a referral to the surgeon I'd chosen before. I recommend going through your PCP for referrals first, as it takes a lot of the workload off of you- and they'll likely write a referral anyway when sending the documents needed for coverage over.

You may also find that the surgeon you talk to has different requirements than your insurance before performing top surgery. A referral from your PCP might bypass these requirements, but be sure to call them yourself and double-check. Your surgeon's office is supposed to call you to schedule a consultation, and they may not call you at all if you don't have all of those documents in- which means you can be left in limbo indefinitely, not knowing you need to send them more than you already did.

The Consultation

I was able to get a consultation about 5 weeks after calling, which was great! The consultation is your opportunity to ask the surgeon any questions you have, for them to evaluate your chest and what methods might work for you, and for you to see their results (most surgeons do not post result photos online for privacy reasons).

Come into the consultation with all the questions you have written down somewhere, so you don't forget. I asked:

If I could see photographs of his top surgery results

Which incisions he thought would work for me, stressing the things that were important to me: minimal recovery time, no free nipple grafts (I wanted to keep mine, but without risking a failed graft), and minimal chance of needing revisions

What my recovery would look like for the recommended incisions

Whether I will be getting drains (ideally, yes: drains reduce recovery time and the risk of needing revisions)

If he's had patients who have had complications (failed grafts, infections, need for revisions, etc.) and what he's done to reduce the chances of that happening again

My surgeon's results looked good (scars were even and symmetrical, healed nicely, etc.) and he answered my questions really well, so I was happy to go with him!

He recommended the fishmouth method for me, because recovery time would be minimal, there would be no need for nipple grafts, and my chest was small enough for it to work really well.

Scheduling the Surgery

My surgeon didn't have a very long waitlist, but it still took about 3 weeks for the clinic to process my request with my insurance (yes, even though I already had coverage). Once they'd processed that, they called me with a window of time I could schedule within; after a few months, insurance would no longer cover the surgery.

I got an extension, as I was working an intense summer job that I couldn't really take a few weeks off of to recover, then scheduled my surgery over the phone. They asked if I wanted a pre-op appointment, and I declined, as it'd mostly be information covered in the consultation or that could be given to me over the phone.

Preparing for Surgery

I wasn't given a check-in time for the hospital until about 2pm the day before, but they finally did call me and give me some instructions, including:

My check-in time and place

The hospital's phone number, to give to my ride/caretaker in case they had questions

That I was not to bring visitors (cause covid)

To bring my ID, insurance card, and credit card

That I was not to eat or drink anything after 12am that night (I did drink a bit of water with my meds, which they seemed fine with)

To shower with antibacterial soap the night before, and the morning of the surgery

Not to wear hair or skin products like deoderant or gel

Not to wear any jewelry, or anything else removable that wasn't just a clothing item.

When I checked into the hospital, they had my fill out some paperwork including the name and number of my ride and caretaker (which could be the same or separate people; they called the ride number when it was time to pick me up, and the caretaker number with detailed updates on my progress). Then they had me change into the hospital gown and answer some medical history questions, prepped me with an IV, and had a nurse, both anesthesiologists involved in my surgery, and my surgeon check in with me for more information and to answer any last questions I had.

I was told to use the bathroom about 20 minutes before I would be going under for my surgery (to avoid needing a catheter), and once I did, they injected some anesthetic into my IV and I passed the fuck out.

After Surgery

I showed up to the hospital at about 9am, and the prepping ended around 11am. The surgery was scheduled to end at 2pm; I wasn't conscious until about 3pm.

They had me use the restroom again (I passed out on the floor of the bathroom because it was way too soon, lmao), and I was in and out of sleep until I finally used the bathroom on my own at about 5pm. At that point I was a lot more lucid; I had some toast and pudding, and the nurse called my caretaker to go over post-op instructions with us both.

After that I dressed myself, was wheeled out to pick up my pain meds at the in-hospital pharmacy, then hopped in the car with my ride (the wonderful @lillia-pad) at about 5:30pm.

Recovery

I have a pretty high tolerance for anesthetic, so I was mostly just tired during the 36-ish hours the anesthetic continued to wear off. I didn't experience any nausea or lightheadedness either, but I was given an anti-nausea patch behind my left ear, plus some anti-nausea meds, just in case.

My post-op regimen sort of looks like this:

Take 1-2 tablets of oxycodone every 4 hours (for pain)

Take 2 tablets of laxative meds twice a day (cause pain meds cause constipation)

Empty drains twice per day, and record how much was in them

Get up and walk around every couple of hours to reduce the risk of blood clots

Ease into eating again: start with clear fluids, and work up to crackers/bread/etc., to avoid nausea and vomiting.

Lay down propped up on plenty of pillows, and only on your back (no side-sleeping!)

Keep the compression binder/gauze on for the first 48 hours, then remove them to shower as needed (but put them back on after!)

I was pretty lucid by the third day post-surgery, and was able to scale my pain meds down pretty quickly from 2 tabs on the first day, to 1 tab for the next two days, to 1/2 tab. Meds are much more important at night, when there's nothing to distract you from the pain- don't be afraid to ration them for nighttime.

Oxycodone also definitely causes drowsiness, so I took a lot of "oxy naps" about 45-60 minutes after I took my meds, which last between 20 minutes and 2 hours depending on how tired I am.

I have my post-op this week, so I will update this post with more details on my scars and healing then!

[spockandawe]

So I saw this ask/response about Xue Yang’s backstory go by on my dash, and it gave me some thoughts, which felt off-topic/speculative enough I didn’t want to just reblog, but were too long for a tumblr comment, so here we go. First, from the asker:

it was never just about a finger, but a child who had nothing vs adults who knew better and still took more from him and humiliated him

And everything @veliseraptor said (as with all lise xue yang posts) is also excellent, but this line hit me in the same place as that line from the ask:

I really am getting sick of the idea that it’s ~just a finger~ and not like…what it means, the surrounding trauma and implications of it. it’s the death of the last of his innocence and trust in people.

I’ve written about Xue Yang and Xiao Xingchen’s last conversation before (I’m never not thinking about it, basically), and I’ve especially dug into the way that Xue Yang is fairly chill (despite being stabbed) and puts out the story, Xiao Xingchen doesn’t respond the way he’s hoping for, and Xue Yang’s takes it VERY badly and starts actively burning everything down. 

Now, in those posts, I focused a lot on the way Xue Yang’s present emotions, if that makes sense, not what it all meant in light of his childhood. And here’s where we get speculative, but I don’t think I’ve wandered too far off into the woods, even if the text doesn’t explicitly support it.

So here’s where I’m at: Xiao Xingchen slowly, gradually, won a lot of Xue Yang’s trust. It started with the rescue when Xue Yang was unconscious and bleeding in a field, continued with Xiao Xingchen not pushing his boundaries, and extended into three years of accidental domestic bliss. By the end, Xue Yang, despite his everything, is happily living in the yizhuang and running errands to the market to buy vegetables. He’s not a naturally trusting person, which makes plenty of sense, all things considered, but he’s still reached this point, and Xiao Xingchen is something special and precious to him. The fact that he tells him the end of the story about how he lost his finger is significant.

When Xue Yang tells Xiao Xingchen an important personal story about a child who had nothing and adults who should have known better and took more from him, and a story about trauma and the death of the last of his innocence... Xiao Xingchen’s response is both Kinda Not Great, and also misses the point of what Xue Yang was trying to communicate (for understandable reasons on both counts, but I’m focusing on the emotional world Xue Yang was living in at this moment)

“Chang Ci’an broke one of your fingers. If you sought revenge, you could have simply broken one of his fingers in return. If you really took the matter to heart, you could have broken two, or even all ten! Even if you had cut off his arm, things wouldn’t have been like this.”

A critical point in here is that Xiao Xingchen skips right past what that injury meant to a seven-year-old street child who tried to run an errand in exchange for some sweets, and instead had three adults viciously take out their bad mood on him. Look up what a seven year old child looks like, he was so young. And probably don’t look up crush damage, because it’s nasty stuff, but after three adults slapped this small child around, a cart ran over his entire hand. The missing finger is the only thing that’s obvious now, but

“ He was seven! The bones of his left hand were crushed, and one finger was ground into battered flesh on the spot!”

And lets not even talk about how complicated hand bones are to set correctly, how bad old timey medicine was at preventing infection, or whether this small street child even had anyone who cared enough to feed him, or to make sure he was still breathing. 

When Xue Yang tells this story and Xiao Xingchen focuses on how disproportionate his revenge was, that’s when Xue Yang gets cruel. It’s very shortly after this when he tells Xiao Xingchen that if he wasn’t capable of understanding the world, he never should have left the mountain in the first place. If you’re watching the show, he looks devastated, for all the good it does him when he’s talking to a blind man.

That’s a long time to reach my final point, but here we go: Despite Xue Yang’s approach to life and his own intentions, over the course of three years, Xiao Xingchen built up a lot of trust with him. With Song Lan dead, things are already doomed to fall apart, but the moment Xue Yang starts trying to hurt Xiao Xingchen is when Xiao Xingchen has this reaction to his story. My speculative conclusion is that Xue Yang reacts so badly because in this moment, Xiao Xingchen, his favorite person, proves to Xue Yang that he can’t be trusted with that little seven-year-old Xue Yang who was used, mistreated, and maimed. 

Xue Yang tells Xiao Xingchen the story of when he was most vulnerable and suffering, and the first thing out of Xiao Xingchen’s mouth is that Xue Yang could have broken the man’s finger in return. Xue Yang took it pretty reasonably when Xiao Xingchen stabbed him in the stomach, but this is the point where things really deteriorate. I think that a significant part of that whiplash is that Xue Yang has begun to trust Xiao Xingchen, and Xiao Xingchen effectively tells him that he was wrong, and Xiao Xingchen can’t be trusted with justice for that mistreated child any more than the rest of the world. When Xiao Xingchen tells him that murdering the man’s whole family was excessive, what Xue Yang hears is ‘that child didn’t deserve the justice you gave him.’ Neither of them is really interpreting the other one’s words and intentions fairly at this point in the conversation, which, again, is understandable. But I do think that the things Xue Yang says following this point have a lot to do with the betrayal he feels when he decides that Xiao Xingchen couldn’t have been trusted with Xue Yang’s innocent, abused childhood self.

[spnopineapples]

ALRIGHT PEOPLE. I'm READY.

LAST OF US 2 SPOILERS!!!!

......

.......

Are ya gone yet? Have you scrolled past if you don't want to see?

....

Alright. *CRACKS KNUCKLES AND NECK* Let's jump on into this!

First off I'm done with the game.

Second off..... THIS GAME WAS FUCKING PHENOMENAL!!! 10/10

The ending litterally killed me. Finished 2 hours ago,talked the ear off of my best friend for about 1 and a half hours and gushed and lamented the whole time. Cried for about 20 minutes by myself. Had an existential crisis. So on so on. And now I'm here, in the middle of an online meeting cause, ya know, Corona, muted with no camera on, because I'd much rather be typing out this dissertation.

Y'ALL. Go play this. It is AWESOME.

Now for the third and probably longest bit of this. My rebuttal to the bad reviewers:

I still contend that the bad reviews are 1 of 2 reasons with a little of a 3rd mixed in to both. #1. Being that people are pissed they killed off Joel and think the story did a disservice to the characters. #2. People are pissed because they think Naughty Dog was pushing a liberal agenda with a heavily muscled female antagonist/protagonist, a gay Ellie, and a transgender side character, Lev. The mixed in #3 is the extensive violence which I do contend was a lot. Yeah LoU1 was definitely violent, but damned this one got dark. And that's something coming from me because I am a fan of gratuitous violence.

Let me tackle these real quick. I'll be brief about #2 here though.

IN REBUTTAL TO REASON #2 - If you honestly didn't like LoU2 because of this reason (which I explained in my previous post about how IT IS logical that Abby be built the way she is and how Naughty Dog was definitely NOT shoving this or ANY of the others i mentioned in anyone's face in my opinion) you're in need of some corrective thinking and you should re-evaluate your ideas and realize that your opinion on these social issues doesn't matter and is wrong. None of these things make the game story illogical or bad. Bottom line: there are people like this in the world and their stories in this game drive the plot. It doesn't belittle the previous games or detract from the current game at all. You're just bigoted. Calm your tits and don't play the game if it upsets you so much. Pull a Seth and bury the hatchet. Make some steak sandwiches.

But I'm going to give the benefit of the doubt and imagine that the majority of the bad reviewers were more pissed at reason #1, Joel's Death. But real quick.

IN REBUTTAL OF REASON #3 -If you hated the game because of the amount of violence, do realize that the violence was the point of the story this time AND IT WAS SUPPOSE TO BE A DRAG ON YOUR SOUL. LoU1 was about finding love again in a violent world. Love being in the foreground and the violence a backdrop, which is why the violence didn't feel so in your face even though it was PLENTY violent. LoU2 was about succumbing to the violent world because of losing love. Violence being the foreground and tainted love (insert song here ya bastards) being the backdrop that drives it. AND HERE IS MY FAVORITE PART PLEASE READ THIS PART AT LEAST IF YOU DECIDE NOT TO READ THE WHOLE THING.

Think of the two endings. LoU1 WAS a story ABOUT finding love in a violent world BUT ENDED with Joel committing a violent act to protect his love (killing all the Fireflies, 1 of which was Abby's father and the driving reason for LoU2's main plot, and DOOMING THE WORLD TO INFECTION AND DAMNING HUMANITY). LoU2 WAS a story ABOUT losing love and reacting with violence BUT ENDED with Ellie doing a peaceful act (allowing Abby to leave alive with Lev) because of the love she had for Joel (that flashback scene of Joel playing guitar when Ellie decided to forgive him for the violence and lie at the end of LoU1).

DO Y'ALL SEE HOW IMPORTANT THAT IS?

There NEEDED to be a LoU2 because LoU1 ended with violence and a lie. LoU2 fulfilled this with an ending of forgiveness driven by a memory of love from the first game.

I've read a lot of the bad reviews where they mention the violence became too much and ruined the game. And that Ellie wouldn't act like that. First off Ellie totally would, fuck off with that noise. Second off THAT'S THE POINT. This was a story about how revenge is cyclic violence and it doesn't end until someone makes the decision to end it!

BOTTOM LINE: I felt ragged 2/3's of the way thru this game because of the violence, but that's the point of the story. Revenge is not worth it. Especially when it's with people like Abby and Ellie. Because neither are villians. AND BOY HOWDY DID IT TAKE ME A LONG TIME TO COME TO TERMS WITH THIS. Because I HATED ABBY FOR KILLING JOEL. When I first started playing her I DID NOT WANT TO BECAUSE I WAS ANGRY WITH HER. I litterraly felt dirty playing her. But this game did something amazing to get me around to appreciating her character. NOT LIKING HER CHARACTER, but appreciating. And I will tackle this in my next rebuttal.

IN REBUTTAL OF REASON # 1 - Let's talk about Joel's death.

I WILL NOT LIE TO YALL.

I was mightily upset about his death. At first I thought it to be a disservice to a beloved character. But then I realized something. See above about Joel's actions. He killed all those Fireflies and DAMNED THE WORLD. Not only that it is specifically mentioned in both LoU1 and in this game that Joel and Tommy did horrible things before they met Ellie and before Jackson. JOEL WAS NOT A GOOD GUY.

I think what people are upset about is the REALNESS of this game. A lot of other game developers don't do what Naughty Dog has done. Naughty Dog did not shy away from Joel's character flaws and his past wrongs! In fact, all the user's that use the reason for hating the game as "too many plotholes" Y'ALL FUCKING PLAYIN. More on that later.

Back to what I was saying about realness. In the real world, Joel's death and the brutality of it and suddenness of it is actually a very logical event that would occur. Abby doesn't KNOW Joel like we do. All she knows is this guy killed her father and a lot of her friends and damned humanity in the process. LoU1 is not a happy game. Might I remind yall about Sam and Henry? But his death was not "sudden". And it didn't steal Joel from us. I actually really enjoyed all the flashbacks to him. We got more than enough time and I actually feel as if the time we got with Joel was better because of his death so early in the game. DO NOT TELL ME THAT THAT NATURAL HISTORY MUSEUM FLASHBACK DIDN'T FULFILL EVERY FEELING NEED.

And now for the wrap up - the big hangup that I see of those who hated Joel's Death is that the story didn't redeem it. They couldn't "buy" Ellie forgiving Abby at the end.

As I stated I will not lie. I was worried for about 2/3s of the way through this game that the bad user reviews were accurate and that the story sucked because I couldn't see where the writers were going. All I saw was senseless death of characters that I had loved and that I was coming to love. I straight up love Jesse by the way. It wasn't until Abby met Lev and Yara that I started seeing the majesty of this revenge story.

BECAUSE THE TRUTH IS I HATE FUCKING REVENGE STORIES WHERE THE MAIN CHARACTER IS LIKE, NO, THEY WOULDN'T WANT ME TO DO THIS. Before this game I'd be like "miss me with that bullshit" but after today I would say "give it to me like this." This actually felt real. And boy was it raw. Guys, the reason I started forgiving Abby is because of her decision to help Yara and Lev. Because it was her attempt to right the wrong of killing Joel which was eating her alive. Her and Owen and Mel. Guys. She is Joel. Why the hell do you think Joel did what he did for Ellie in the first game? Because he liked her at first site? BULLSHIT. He did it because Tess told him to do something good for once. IF YOU ARE UPSET WITH ABBY THEN YOU SHOULD BE UPSET WITH JOEL. I get it. Abby had to earn that with her story because at the beginning I'd have said leave her to the clickers. BUT CONTRARY TO THE USERS OF THIS REASONING SHE DID DESERVE HER REDEMPTION. The game shows over and over and over again that Abby isn't some mustache twirling villian who deserves instant death. She is complicated. She cares and she hates and she loves. She knows what's right and wrong and tries to do right as much as possible but she's human and she gets angry. Anger means you care.. and she cared about her father. She's a good human too because good humans feel shitty about doing shitty things and if you are observant at all you can tell immediately with Abby, as we play her in her Seattle Day 1, that she has doubts and isn't comfortable with her role in how Joel died. SHE DESERVED BEING FORGIVING BY ELLIE AT THE END. AND IN THE SAME TOKEN ELLIE DESERVED FORGIVING HER AND BEING FORGIVEN BY ABBY. It is very clearly obvious by the end of the game that Ellie could not reconcile her revenge killings with her best memories of Joel or with the actions she had to take to get there. Also it is of very important note here that Ellie stopped drowning Abby because of a flash image of Joel playing guitar. And then later on actually seeing the memory associated with that image that stopped her you can understand why Ellie did stop outside of just being as tired of violence as Abby was. The memory shows Joel and Ellie agreeing to try to forgive Joel for lying to her about the Fireflies and denying her her purpose. All this the night before he is killed. Note what Joel says. "If God gave me the chance to do it all over again. I would have done the same thing." Just that fucking devotion he has for Ellie shines through and she really understands his reasons for what he did. Still doesn't feel as if she can forgive him. THAT IS IMPORTANT. She DOES NOT agree with his decision. She understands it, but doesn't agree. But still decides to try and forgive. GUYS. That's exactly what she understands about Abby. Joel was sorry but he still would have done it. Same with Abby. There's a reason that image popped up as she was killing Abby and not the image of his beaten up face.

Remember that line from LoU2? Tess said it. As she is confessing to Joel that she was bit. "We're shitty people, Joel. It's been that way for a long time!" And Joel says "No, we are survivors!"

Y'all don't think for one second that Joel wouldn't have gone after that Soldier who shot Sarah if Tommy hadn't shot him? Y'all kidding yourselves.

Abby realizes this truth in the end. She realizes the part she played in enhancing and playing into the fucking violence and shittiness. Staining and tainting herself in the process. She just wanted to be clean. And Ellie just wanted to be clean.

Bombing this game is doing a fucking disservice to the emotional complexity of this story. It's been a long time since I've been that emotionally twisted.

This game isn't preachy. This game makes something clear that alot of other revenge stories get wrong. Revenge makes otherwise good people do shitty things and the shitty things taint us for the rest of our lives. At least Ellie and Abby stopped themselves before they tainted all their being.

Yeah we're shitty people. But we don't have to be.

[theotherjourney7]

“(As of today October 5th 2020), I was gonna do another The Week In Tory but, try as I might, I could not find a thing they’d done wrong since Friday.

No corruption. No ineptitude. No lies. No hypocrisy. Just a solid 96 hours of honest, decent and reliable governance.

Only kidding: it’s an absolute shit-show...

1. A report found the “Eat Out To Help Out” scheme cost £500m and didn’t do a single thing to improve the economy of the UK’s hospitality sector

However, it did help to double the number of infections, although they forgot how to count, so didn't notice

2. As infections spiked, the government briefly woke up and introduced local lockdowns

But predictably, the local councils responsible for implementing the new plans were given literally (not making this up) 5 minutes warning and no additional resources whatsoever

3. It was revealed absolutely not a single penny of the £1.58bn “Arts Rescue Plan” announced to great fanfare in July has actually been handed out to the artists or venues relying on it

So unsurprisingly, the country’s largest cinema chain had to close, costing 5,500 jobs

But thankfully Work and Pensions Minister Thérèse Coffey was on hand to reassuringly tell them they can all become Care Workers with "very little training" (I'm sure nursing is a doddle)

Slight problem: in June the government froze millions in funding for training care workers

But it’ll be fine, won’t it? I mean, who needs to train care workers? We have plenty, don't we? Oh, hold on: this week it was revealed care workers are caring for 2,400 families each, which is 10x the recommended number

4. Good News for UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson, as a poll of Tory Members found they think Gavin Williamson is even shitter than the Prime Minister.

Bad News: they think every other Conservative MP is better than the PM, and only 28% of them think he’s up to the job. And that’s his fan-club.

5. So UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson went on a charm offensive (and did both), and promised to build 40 new hospitals

Seemingly he had forgotten – or hoped we had – that he also promised to build 40 new hospitals a year ago, and then … how can I put this? … didn’t

The 40 new hospitals have £3.7bn budget

Unfortunately, 40 new hospitals would cost at least £24bn

And there's backlog of £6bn in maintenance and repairs, so the day it was launched the “new hospital fund” was £2.3bn short of building a single Lego Hospital

6. Last week Boris Johnson said the Covid rules were simple, then forgot them, then said they were complicated, then said he’d fine people breaking them, then didn’t fine his own dad

This week his own dad broke the rules for a second time and [tumbleweed]

So 6 days after the PM went on TV to assure us the lockdown rules were simple, the govt has announced it will announce some simplified rules. But not yet. Soon. In a bit. First we need another few levels of announcements about announcements, because there’s no rush fellas.

7. I always try to find a supportive and approving quote about Boris Johnson from an star-struck anonymous Tory MP: this week, I have an embarrassment of riches

“It’s like ‘carry on coronavirus’, with Boris as Sid James and Matt Hancock as Kenneth Williams”

“I find myself bewildered at the clownish lack of professionalism in Downing St”

“If you drop something which is entirely ornamental [meaning Boris] it tends to lose its appeal”

“We’ve gone from eat out to help out, to drink up and piss off”

8. The Tories called loudly for the firing of the SNP’s Margaret Ferrier for travelling by train after being found positive for Covid

No word yet about them calling for the removal Tory MP Peter Gibson, who travelled 250 miles by train with Covid symptoms

Peter Gibson is part of the new “Red Wall” intake of Tory MPs, so presumably was keen to return to his constituency to inform them that 1/3 of them would be £1000 a year worse off due to government cuts

9. It was revealed that 5 years after Tories pledged to end money laundering with the announcement “there is no place for dirty money in Britain”, absolutely no action has yet been taken, and the legislation has been gathering dust since 2015

10. But thankfully, non-corrupt ministers like Robert Jenrick, who takes “donations” (which are apparently different from bribes) from housing companies, are still doing the right thing, such as unlawfully overruling his own officials to grant a £50m tax saving to a donor

And a legal challenge was launched over a £580k contract to friends of Dominic Cummings, with no competitive tendering

Oh, and Health Secretary Matt Hancock takes “donations” from the horse-racing fraternity, and excluded the highly profitable Cheltenham Festival from the lockdown

The former Chief Scientific Advisor said Cheltenham Festival “probably helped to accelerate the spread” of coronavirus

11. Not that we’d know, because it appears a mere 227 days after the first case, the govt still hasn’t learned to import data into an Excel Spreadsheet

Any IT manager would tell you Excel is not the way to store the data of up to 67 million people – it is spreadsheet software for a max of 1 million records

16,000 tests were lost, and over 50,000 potentially infectious people may have been missed by contact tracers

12. On 2nd June, Boris Johnson announced he would take “direct control” of Covid

So 125 days later, he couldn’t tell us the social distancing rules, how many records had been lost, or explain why 4 different lockdown regimes exist in Greater Manchester alone

13. But human spork Health Secretary Matt Hancock rushed out to say NHS Test and Trace are working hard, neglecting to mention the slightly awkward truth that NHS Test and Trace is not run by the NHS, but by a private business under the guidance of the effortlessly terrible Dido Harding

Highly effective private business Serco do our contact tracing, which is why some of its tracing staff report being so under-occupied they have managed to watch 3 entire series of The Good Place and play computer games all day for months, while 60,000 Britons died

14. I have no idea if the Queen has noticed her government’s honesty, but this week she said “having trusted, reliable sources of information is vital”

We enter flu season under a government you can trust, but who accidentally failed to send the flu vaccine to GPs for over a month

15. And the average hours for teachers increased from 53 to 70 hours per week, as they attempt to cope with endlessly shifting instructions

Teachers are also having to be cleaners in schools, as there is no additional money for adaptations to keep staff and students safe

16. As the government prepares for 4 million unemployed in 2021, Treasury Secretary Rishi Sunak said he would introduce “job coaches”, and said 4 million of us being coached for *up to* 2 hours to do jobs that don’t exist would be “the first time that people will realise government could be helpful”

17. A report found “trust between ministers and staff is being severely eroded” by a 7-month delay in the bullying inquiry into Home Secretary and horcrux, Priti Patel

She then made a speech in which she voluntarily opted to define herself as opposite to those who “do good”

18. Possibly to distract from this, health minister Lord Bethell rushed out to claim Covid 19 would make us as proud as the Olympics

Covid 19 has killed about as many as you can fit into an Olympic Stadium, so maybe that’s what he meant

A quick detour into the magical, spinning world of gaffe-hamster Lord Bethell: last week he tried to distract from govt student cockups by claiming Covid 19 was predominantly caused by “late-night intimacy” and not by, for example, failing to trace infections

Earlier, Bethell tried to distract from govt A-Level cockups by claiming him failing A-Levels didn’t prevent him hustling to his lofty position (momentarily forgetting the hustling assistance he gained when his dad, the 4th Lord Bethell, hustled his way into a grave)

19. And finally, in an image that will haunt you, Health Secretary Matt Hancock announced he would only snitch on his neighbours if he was “watching them having an Animal House-style hot tub party”. Watching. He said watching. Matt Hancock. Watching.“-Russ

[parappa-and-lammy]

Disabled OCs 2: Electric Boogaloo

it’s them, they’re here! Or yknow, a chunk of em. i had a LOT backlogged and there are even more in store i have saved away - the ones here are the most fleshed out!

To start, with who appears to already pique peeps interest:

⬆️ Bumble Bea the flower-capybara! 

Most notable is her golden and wild long flowing hair. It has green streaks through it, along with plenty of flowers; some grown by her, and others gathered throughout her life. They’re able to stay alive as long as she keeps them in her mane. Definitely the hippie type, she enjoys being around people and in nature. She is friendly towards everyone, and calls them all some variation of “honey” (hun, honey bun, hun bun..,), she’ll even sometimes pluck a flower to give to you!

Her original dream was to be a rockstar sensation, specializing in psychedelic rock. She even has her own custom guitar (which looks like a bumblebee!). Has hyperthyroidism and fibromyalgia - the chronic pain of which made her decide to retire. She’ll come out to play every so often, just not so extensively as before. For now, she simply hangs out with her family and helps them with their own problems.

⬆️ Lonnie Lop the jerboa-rabbit!

Lonnie is a jokester who doesn’t take much seriously. So much so, he sometimes forgets that some topics are off limits. Barely being an adult, he has trouble judging people, and tends to take things at face value. He’s an overly emotional immature thing at times... but he’s discovered that his family is most important to him.

Lonnie wanted to become an idol more than anything way back when - he had the cuteness, the singing skill, the dancing and everything else! But they had all turned him down, and it’s not really a mystery why. He has a stoma on his abdomen and has a colostomy bag - the most decorated and brightly colored ones are his favorite. He is also borderline anemic and has pica - both of which caused an event that led to him getting the stoma in his childhood.

For now, he simply helps his family out with random little jobs. He looks up to Bumble, who he considers his sister. He still insists on becoming an idol somehow.

⬆️ Otto the otter!

He is a jolly old man with a big heart, and a laugh so loud it shakes the building. Some people might be off-put by his openness, but he’s nothing but sincere. He will always set time aside to listen to whatever problems you may be having, though he isn’t exactly the most intellectual. He’s a lil’ confused but he’s got the spirit.

Otto has epilepsy, along with chronic migraines. All his sons and daughters left the nest and got careers in the technological industry, and he’s nothing but happy for them. But he stays away from screens and such. He’s moreso a man that works with his hands. And he does! Whenever he isn’t in the house with his new found family, he’ll be outside working on a project.

After the passing of his wife and his kids going on to do great things, he’s opened his house up for the ones who have no home. Many people have come to call his house ‘home’ and become part of the family. He fosters kids and helps people feel appreciated when they never have. Bumble came by long ago and is officially part of the family. Lonnie was the first foster kid at his home, and also was the first to be adopted by him.

⬆️ Kato the croco-llope and Lea the sheep-leopard!

Lea has high morality, which many remember her for: she shall never speak ill of someone. Never outwardly be rude or mean to someone. She tends to prioritize helping others over herself, even to the point of bringing harm onto herself. At times like these, usually standoffish Kato will step in and stand up for her. They known each other for a very long time - Kato has known her most of his life, and Lea has known him for over a decade now.

Lea was born deaf and is very adept at ASL and reading lips. Kato lost his arm and eye, has hearing loss in his right ear, among other things, due to something that happened long ago. Despite this, he’s become quite skilled at kung fu - even CCMO has commended him, and request he train others at the dojo alongside him.

The two live at Otto’s Foster Home, with Lea having registered to be the full-time caretaker there. She made Kato go through the training and begrudgingly become registered as well, though he now enjoys it. Lea owns a specialized dulcimer while Kato has and can play his adungu. They’ll play as a duet for the kids sometimes, who always enjoy their little performances.

⬆️ Donna the chameleon-iguana!

She herself has barely any recollection of what she’s like. She remembers slipping away... and then ‘waking up’ in PaRappa Town. after an unpleasant run-in with a certain flower girl, Donna is guided towards the Otto home with the help of a kind rapping dog. She was shaken from the experience still, and simply finds vacancy there.

She wasn’t willing to open up to anyone there, yet finds an unlikely friend in someone called Theo. With his roundabout help and the eventual help of the others who live there, she manages to recover from her past experiences and unlock her past, so that she can finally put her best foot forward.

Donna had untreated juvenile arthritis, and now consequentially has joint damage from it, among other things. She wears loose clothes and has long ties attached to zippers in order to help her move with less strain.

⬆️ Theo the bugbot!

He is an old, cranky, pessimist grump who always has something snarky to say. You’d be lucky if he didn’t directly tell you straight to your face. Doesn’t acquaint much with the other people in the Otto household (where he resides), until he met Donna. They form an unlikely friendship - his abrasive attitude was what she needed to address her problems, and in turn, she helps him be less of an ass.

Congenitally amputated legs, so he attaches large wheels to spurs to get around. He also has pulmonary fibrosis that developed from sarcoidosis. He wears a powerful respirator he had built himself everywhere outside of his room. Hoists oxygen tanks on his back thanks to a vest he designed for himself. Theo also has a sort of addiction to chocolate - the one he wasn’t able to kick. He was very self-destructive in his youth, though he begrudgingly takes better care of himself now.

Theo is talented at home improvement, as can be seen with his assisted living tools. Though he’s embarrassed over it for multiple reasons, he can play the hurdy-gurdy quite well, and does so often when he’s alone in his room. He even played for Donna on one occasion, though he wouldn’t dream of showing the other people in the house his playing skills.

⬆️ Angel the anteater and Cupcake the sugar glider!

Angel was an overachieving student at the college, going for a degree in writing, until the day she became sick with what she thought was the flu. But after weeks of rest, she became worse and worse - and was eventually diagnosed with myalgic encephalomyelitis (commonly known as chronic fatigue syndrome). She joined a support group so as not to be alone during this time. and met Cupcake, who instantly took a liking to her.

Cupcake has Crohn’s disease, and visibility problems due to complications with Crohn’s disease. She had to radically change her diet from before; she eats plenty of honey which helps, but misses cocoa products. The two live together in one dorm, with Cupcake not even hesitating to help Angel with whatever she needs. She always wanted to be a nurse, though she was teaching as Home Ec now.

When Angel inevitably loses her schooling and thus her dorm, the two move in together into Otto’s home. Angel gives what she can by helping the kids with their school curriculum. Cupcake helps her with that, and also teaching the kids other things they need to know. Angel is able to play the harp, while Cupcake plays the harpsichord. They make a fantastic duo, both as a duet and otherwise.

⬆️ Gilly Gary the garden snail!

A boy with the voice of an angel, Gilly was one of the foster kids at Otto’s home before being adopted by a quadruplet slug singing group. They all have a dream of being able to make it big performing all over the world - but until then, they perform at small venues all across PaRappa Town. They’ll sometimes even host fundraisers for homes and institutions that need it.

Though Gilly wants to be a star in the singing world, he doesn’t take much seriously. He just wants to goof off and have fun! He and Lonnie would raise trouble together, seeing as they brought the most mischievous side out of each other.

Gilly had his leg amputated at a young age due to a rapidly spreading infection, and uses Lofstran crutches to support himself. He really doesn’t care, though since he’s a bit of a fashionista (he adores the aesthetic of the mid to late 70s), he won’t EVER cut off a pant leg, and resigns to tucking it in instead. It comes in helpful when trying to sneak stuff into the movie theatre haha funni reference

⬆️ Pekh the wolf-rooster!

This is a cheerful, euphoric man who rises up early every day to greet the sun. He is incredibly happy with himself, and chivalrous - anything he has, he immediately gives to someone else. He already knows he’s glorious, so someone else should have it instead! Though, he isn’t really the sharpest beak on the block. He may be easily confused by something you say, but he’d support you all the way.

His kidneys don’t work very well, and so he gets a dialysis 3 days a week, but takes care of his body otherwise. Why wouldn’t he? He’s the best! On his way to the doctor office, he’ll yodel aloud to himself and everyone around, and will continue while getting the dialysis done. He has an AV fistula in his left arm. He wanted the graft, but the fistula was the better option.

Some people are a bit annoyed by his self-euphoria, but others find it endearing. His family (everyone in the Otto household) see him as a beacon of happiness - Lonnie looks up to him, Theo gets irritated by his bubbliness, while everyone else in the house cheers him on.

~

And that’s the 2nd round of disabled OCs! I had a blast designing them all. I still have so many more that have yet to be 100% done yet (and i even have the first round to shine up and reintroduce)! I’ll see yall when i put up round 3! These were so exhausting to draww

[dietsauthority]

11 Foods That Make Diverticulitis Worse

By meaning, diverticular disease represents a disorder in the development of bags, or diverticula, inside the colon and also intestinal tracts. In this situation, the bags push versus the delicate walls, which easily suggests a fiber deficiency in your diet.

When a diverticular condition develops, it can quickly result in diverticulitis, a more extreme kind of the condition. It is additionally worth mentioning that fiber can aggravate the bowel, particularly fiber in veggies, so it is best to avoid it altogether.

Below, allow's review the signs of diverticular condition, how it shows up as well as what you can do concerning it.

Diverticular Disease: A Close Up

Diverticular illness mostly establishes in between the age of 40 as well as 50, and if unattended, can lead to complications later on.

A research in the field showed that people with diverticulosis had better midsections and also a better body mass. Today, diverticulosis is detected in 10% of the individuals, most in between the age of 50-59 as well as over 80.

How does Diverticulosis Happen?

The diverticula bags are created when there is a gas or waste pressure, or in some cases liquid on the intestinal wall surfaces. Sometimes, the pouches are an outcome of an incorrect digestive tract movement.

Diverticulosis, on the other hand, occurs once diverticula are formed. Sometimes, people experienced cramping, mild blood loss in the digestive tract as well as constipation.

Other signs which link to the illness consist of lower abdominal area pain, cools, and also high temperature. Various other signs of the problem consist of:

Nausea

Increased urination

Vomiting

Rectum bleeding

Colon ruptures

Abscesses

Cramps

Pain in the left side of the abdomen

Risks of Suffering Diverticulitis

Some of the other risks which can cause diverticulitis include:

Poor nutrition.

Aging.

Insufficient exercise.

Improper inhaling.

Meds, such as opioids, steroids, and anti-inflammatory drugs.

High-fat foods as well as milk products.

How to Prevent Diverticulitis?

One of the methods to minimize or avoid the signs of this problem is by presenting a fiber-based diet regimen. At the very same time, your nourishment must be low in fat and unprocessed.

Another contributing aspect is exercise, which can ease bowel irregularity, and boost the flow. Additionally, to avoid the problem, you ought to moisten frequently and also prevent smoking.

Ideally, medical professionals suggest you take lots of liquids as well as stay with eating soft foods, which will certainly help in reducing inflammation.

11 Foods Which Aggravate Diverticulitis Symptoms

Although there is no noticeable source of diverticulitis, some foods can irritate the digestive tract as well as intestines, therefore intensifying the condition.

As per the National Institute of Health, some foods are a trigger of diverticulitis signs and symptoms, which is why a proper diet plan requires to be established.

Medical specialists suggest there are two sorts of diet plans which can approximate the condition. The initial one is the High FODMAP diet, which focuses on treating a range of digestive system issues. The 2nd diet regimen is the Low FODMAP diet regimen, which also comes recommended in the treatment of different conditions.

Some of the even worse foods which intensify the problem include:

1. Milk foods, gelato, cheese, and also butter. To make the right replacements, alternate soft cheese for hard, as well as utilize olive rather than butter.

2. Beans;

3. Lentils;

4. Cabbage;

5. Brussels sprouts;

6. Onions and garlic;

7. Fermented foods, like sauerkraut and kimchi,

8. Entire grains, consisting of brown rice, oats, quinoa, as well as bulgur,

9. Vegetables, like broccoli, peppers, and corn. It is ideal you avoid these since they include great deals of sugar and also can bring about cramping, making their digestion that more difficult.

10. Fruits, like pears, apples, and plums.

12. Fat-infused foods, like chips, fried items, and fast food. Primarily, these foods can enhance the cells swelling, and result in digestion problems and also gastrocolic reflex.

Some of the main reasons these foods are not on the 'beneficial' list is due to the fact that they can produce plenty of gas and also cause additional complications.

If you are a fan of vegetables, you can vapor or steam them to take advantage of their fiber content. The same goes with fruit, which if you enjoy, you need to consume it well peeled. As for milk, select soymilk or almond milk rather of fatty products.

Available Diverticulitis Treatments

Thankfully, if caught on time, diverticulitis can be dealt with as necessary with:

Taking anti-infection prescription antibiotics. Still, if you are dealing with a milder kind of the problem, these may not be necessary.

Sticking to a liquid diet. Try eating light foods for a couple of days, so you stay clear of distressing the digestive tract. As quickly as the symptoms fade, you can go back to eating strong foods.

Taking over the counter painkillers.

In much more difficult instances, the problem may result in surgical treatment. This mainly happens if:

You have a bowel abscess or a fistula.

You have reoccurring signs, with severe side-effects.

Your immunity is compromised.

Foods Which Aid Deal with Diverticulitis

Aside from treating it clinically, you can likewise ease pain by dieting. Several of the very best ways to naturally soothe signs of diverticulitis consist of:

• Broth; • Pulp-free juices; • Popsicles; • Gelatin; • Plain water; - Plain coffee and also tea, devoid of milk or lotion, - Cooked fruits, peel as well as seed complimentary, • Canned fruits; • Vegetable juices; • Eggs and poultry; • Fish; • Pasta and rice; • Aloe; • Digestive enzymes; • Probiotics; - Natural herbs, such as garlic, green tea, ginger, and also turmeric, • Acupuncture; - Important oils, such as lavender oil, applied topically,

Regardless of all-natural remedies, if you experience much more extreme signs, don't be reluctant to request for medical assistance, rather of dealing with the problem on your own.

[fenweak]

High School AUs

College/University AUs

⭐ A+ fics (imho) | All of the recs

High School AUs

High Scores by popfly ⭐

Kaner is a DDR master, Jonny is ultra-competitive. Bollig just wants to make out with Shawzy.

Dynamical Systems by jezziejay ⭐ - math geek patrick! jock jonny!

Jonny’s plenty smart, but there’s hockey practice just before a double math period every Tuesday and Wednesday morning. He gets to class on time. Physically, he’s there. But his mind is still on the ice. Throw in a kidney infection that keeps him home for two weeks, and Jonny’s struggling. Not failing, but that C is dragging his GPA down, and his mom is making clucking noises. The same noises that mean hockey time is coming up for review.

There’s a note on the student boards advertising tutoring.

promise i'm worthy (to hold in your arms) [One and Only series] - teenage angst and american douchebags ft. ryan kesler

"So come on and give me a chance to prove I am the one who can walk that mile."

love is a contact sport by hazel, mermaid  ⭐ - high school soulmates!

"And the tragic reality of Patrick's life is that even though they broke up over a year ago, he and Johnny still play beautiful hockey together."

A high school AU, featuring dream-fish, bad movie dates, and a little bit of magic.

Movie Nights or Five Times Jonny Wanted Popcorn (and One Time He Didn’t) by CoffeeKristin

Patrick had only been working at the movie theater a few weeks when a noisy bunch of boys from his high school burst through the doors just before the last showing of Captain America: Civil War and come tumbling into the lobby, whooping it up. He sighed and put down the containers of popcorn he was counting, mentally preparing himself for the asshattery he was likely to endure.

“What can I get you?” he asked the crowd, and true to form, no one was listening so he waited another moment. Finally one of the boys got pushed to the front, stumbling into the counter. “Fuck, Duncs, not so hard,” he said, and oh. That was Jonathan Toews: Captain of the high school soccer team, president of the student council, son of the mayor. Basically, everything Patrick wasn’t.

do it how you want it done ⭐

(very vaguely) grease-inspired high school au.

yeah, i went there.

kissing your honeyed eyes by forochel

The one that's the British boarding school AU.

This Is What A Love Song Sounds Like by fourfreedoms  ⭐ - reunion fic but god the flashbacks! the angst!

When he came out after his freshman year of college his mother said she’d always known, and he’d had to fight down the bizarre wave of paranoia that maybe everybody knew, maybe they’d all just been letting him sweat all those years. It was crazy of course, there was only one person who’d known, who had any idea.Patrick Kane.

Ten years after they fucked around in high school, Patrick and Jonny meet back up at their high school reunion.

roll with it by hazel  ⭐

The one where a bunch of Blackhawks inexplicably go to boarding school, Tazer is the world's meanest DM, and Pat doesn't know why anyone would think cutting the head off a hydra was good idea.

Light Me Up by sahiya - where they both went to Shattuck!

Being serious about hockey always meant Patrick would have to leave home. For a long time he thought it would be for juniors and a billet family. But things don't go as planned, and he finds himself at Shattuck-St. Mary's.

His roommate's name is Jonathan Toews. He can't keep his water bottles on his side of the room, and he's unfortunately, stupidly hot. Because Patrick's life sucks.

boot theory by mentalistecbm - teen angst, break up

Everyone knows that they're broken up.

glory days by liketheroad ⭐ - soulmate, teen angst

He never expected his destiny to involve anything but hockey, never thought it would show up in flip flops, but when Patrick smiles at him across the locker room, quick and surprised, Johnny lets his priorities shift and change without a hint of reluctance or regret.

There's Only Blood Running In My Veins by mikarala - pwp

Patrick and Jonny are making out in Patrick’s bedroom when Jonny says it. “I--I,” he stutters out, in between a moan, “I want you to fuck me.”

Gold Seeking Ends by liveinfury - Flipped AU

“Wanna go on the tire swing with me after?” Jonny asks.

“No,” Patrick answers.

“Oh,” Jonny says, looking deflated. “What about the jungle gym?”

“Nope."

“Um, okay,” Jonny says, shrugging before walking away.Sam giggles some more. “I can’t believe Jonny, the dirt eater, likes you.”Patrick smirks at him. “Everyone likes me.”

(or Patrick and Jonny meet in the second grade. Jonny's instantly smitten, Patrick is...not. Ten years later, things start flipping.)

Keep Calm and Don't Think of Star Wars podfic by exmanhater ⭐ - A Clueless AU

After I once again assure Abby that Johnny and I are not, NOT related (by googling the difference between half-brother and stepbrother because jesus fucking christ am I am the only knowledgeable one around here?), she agrees to help.

but i can write a song 

“We’re not going to be called Jonny and the Patricks,” Jonny says, sounding entirely too put upon  about a name that’s clearly awesome.

[or; the high school band au you probably didn't ask for]

lost in brightness - pat, jon and a crowded train

“You’re gonna get caught one day,” Jonny sighs, herding Pat in front of him as they squeeze onto  the train, the crowd thicker than usual. It’s been raining on and off, fall well and truly taking the city in  its grasp. Jonny’s already looking forward to meeting Pat by his house every morning, red-cheeked  and rugged up, his face barely visible between his toque and scarf.

you're mending what's broken - a stats nerd Patrick story

The guy who sits behind Jonny in AP Stats wants to know how  many shots on goal he had last Tuesday. Or at least, that's how it starts.

A high school AU featuring stats nerd Kaner and his Tragic Hockey  Backstory (TM), without much time or inclination toward actual tragedy. Instead there is  discussion of Corsi. And kissing.

Examine Other Beauties by kiwoa - theater kids!

"I," Jonny says, and he slips his headset up from around his neck to nestle over his ears, "am not an actor."

"Good thing I don't need you to act."

"No."

"Jonny."

"Patrick."

"Please?" Kaner cants forward and tilts his face up to blink at Jonny. In the fluttering light that filters in from the stage, his eyes look unnaturally pale. "Just read the lines, okay? I want to see how well I've memorized them."

Jonny scrubs a hand over his face. The motion knocks his mike askew. "One scene."

A/S/L  ⭐ - 90s teenaged kids meeting on webcam omg

The internet is a dangerous place, or:

Patrick and Jonny meet, lie through their teeth, and fall in love. Mostly that last part.

Actual Prom King Brandon Saad by popfly  ⭐

Patrick might be a little jealous of the new kid.

Sure Brandon is basically the prom king from every feel-good teenage movie Patrick’s sisters have made him watch, but that doesn’t mean Jonny wants that.

Sign it with your heart by tictactoews + podfic by exmanhater  ⭐

Patrick loses a bet and is dared to plant an anonymous love letter into a random locker. It just so happens that the locker belongs to one Jonathan Toews, captain of the school hockey team.Meanwhile, Jonny finds himself in need of a math tutor, and following the advice of his teacher, he asks the new kid, Patrick Kane, for help.

a complicated kindness by liketheroad - young and figuring out d/s  ⭐

Patrick still remembers how scared Sharpy looked, just for a second there. He remembers not understanding why anyone would back away from Johnny when he was like that, why they wouldn’t want to strain closer, pushing to see how much further he’d go.

What Comes Easy by impertinence - summer camp of angst

Kaner's determined to never grow up; Tazer's determined to grow up as quickly as possible. Over eleven years of summer camp, they learn to meet in the middle. Set in stlkrchk's Camp Quaquanantuck universe.

mathletes are totally athletes by ukiyo91, yukonecho

Mathlete Patrick Kane never thought that when he was assigned to tutor hockey jock Jonathan Toews that he would be swept up into a new sport...or into Captain Serious.

Toews was like the guild leader Patrick had always aspired to be in WoW, but more of an asshole.

i'll be the embrace that keeps you warm by longtime_lurker - huddling for warmth

It is like death, but it is not death; lovelier. / Cold, inconvenienced, late, what will you do now / with the gift of your left life?

Clumsy by CoffeeKristin - a short first kiss fic uwu

“Knock it off,” she hissed at him. “He’s looking at you!”

“Who?” Patrick said, his head swiveling around, resulting in Erica smacking him again. “Hey! Quit hitting me!”

“Then quit being an idiot,” she huffed. “Jonny Toews, you dunce. He’s looking over here, and you’re biting on the string of your hoodie like a moron.”

look around once in a while by achilleees

One man’s struggle to take it easy.

Based off of “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off,” but instead of girlfriends and daddy issues, there’s hockey and pining. And daddy issues.

Summer Lovin' by CoffeeKristin - est. relationship insecurities

Patrick's home from summer camp, and Jonny's first on his list of to-do's. Somehow a little actual angst/plot worked it's way in. But mostly it's just porn.

Ninety-Nine Point Three Percent by jimtiberiuskirk - best friends mutually pining

The problem is, is that Patrick is 99.3% sure that Jonny knows all about his giant, embarrassing man-crush on him.

bring it if you really want it by staraflur - harry potter AU

It starts like this:

Well, okay, Patrick has no idea how it actually starts. But as pertains to him (in other words, the important part), it goes a little something like so:

America, being a nation composed in large part of a melting pot of immigrants who may or may not have taken over land already owned by others using less-than-savory means, doesn’t have much of a magical national identity. Much less a magical continental identity. There’s no grand heritage going back thousands of years. Magical families home-schooled all their kids until, like, the 1800’s, and tough for the muggle-born, apparently. Hopefully you got noticed by someone who knew what to do with you before you got burned at the stake. Since you probably can’t control your powers, sport.

(if you're feeling down) i can feel you up by hawkeytime

"Hey," Patrick said appreciatively from behind where Jonny stood, stoic as always, by the side of the pool. "Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Because you have a sweet ass.”Or: How Patrick Kane spent his summer hitting on the hot lifeguard with the help of some inspired (read: awful) pickup lines.

kiss and tell by hawkeytime 

“Trust me,” Sharpy says, “this will be good for you.”And then, he shoves Jonny into what appears to be a mostly empty coat closet and slams the door shut behind him.

“What the fuck, Sharp!” Jonny calls, pounding at the door which is, of course, locked.

“Enjoy your seven minutes in heaven, Tazer,” Sharpy singsongs.Then, the bare bulb mounted on the ceiling flares to life, illuminating one Patrick Kane.

Fuck.

i know you are (but what am i) by booktubelover7 - always a girl!pat

Pat throws up her arms in celebration after Toews makes a beautiful goal off of Pat’s assist. She crows in celebration as Toews slams into her, shouting in her ear.

Pat’s playing, she’s playing, she’s playing. Not just that, but she’s winning too.When her line gets back to the bench, Pat leans over to speak into Toews’ ear. “Thank you,” she says. Her teammate just turns his head to look at her, a grin spreading across his face.

Love or Torture - a/b/o

Patrick Kane is too short, too Omega, and his heat too delayed for him to play hockey. Jonathan Toews has a plan to bring glory to both of them.

keep buying the stars by medusacascade22- teacher!Jonny 

“Fuck,” Jonny groans. He props his elbows up on his desk and lets his head fall into his hands. It’s going to be a long fucking year.

(or, in which Jonathan Toews is Patrick Kane's teacher, and shit gets real.)

College/Uni AUs

cello suite no. 1 - THIS IS ONE IS A CLASSIC 👌

The first time Jonathan meets Patrick Kane is because he hits him with a lacrosse ball.

In Jonathan's defense, he threw a perfect pass to Seabs, who failed to just reach the one or two feet above his head to catch it.

"Oh shit," Jonathan says when he watched the ball arc across the lawn and whack a blond kid squarely between his shoulder blades.

"Heads up!" he calls belatedly.

this is how we do it series by staraflur ⭐ - frat bros AU!!!

He doesn’t think Zeus is supposed to have a sword, but their Zeus does. So now Jonny does, because of course he’s in charge. He looks, Patrick is drunk enough to acknowledge, far better than anyone has a right to in a grody old Halloween costume that’s probably soaked up the butt sweat of dozens, if not hundreds, of Theta-presidents past. Jonny wears it, Patrick gets the sword. Win-win.

AKA that time there was a frat AU (of course).

This Heart Is Not For Wasting by fourfreedoms - oblivious best friends

Patrick puts his head in his hands. “How could this get any worse?”

“Wait, it’s not like, a big deal is it?” Duncs asks, looking at him and Jonny in turn. “The way you and Jonny are weird about each other? She’s gotta have made her peace with it ages ago.”

A college AU.

love song for love songs by boodreaus  ⭐ - angst, internalized homophobia

“Right,” Jonny says. “Cool.” He seems to hesitate, pausing when Patrick goes for the door handle, and then, right as Patrick’s bracing himself to run for the house, Jonny says, “You should come.”

Patrick turns back at him and is handed a piece of paper. “To our next show, I mean,” Jonny is saying as Patrick examines what turns out to be a flyer, thick black lettering taking up every square inch of space on the brilliant sunshine-colored surface. “It’s tomorrow night, at the showcase. Feel free to say yes or no or whatever. If you don’t know, it’s cool.”

“I’ll,” Patrick starts, and then stops, blinking up at him. Jonny’s just watching him, kind of, elbow resting on the steering wheel. “Maybe,” he finally says, and Jonny smiles.

yet we will make him run - some more angst, except more erudite

Kaner the English Lit major AU.

Sigma Chi series by hatrickane - frat bros hook up and then angst about it

Jonny and Patrick run into each other at a frat party. Patrick proposes a way to pass the time.

Can't Wait by LouLa - first time pwp

Pat's on a hair trigger.

when you flex like that - hookup in a frat party

Johnny isn’t drunk, but he does let Sharpy and a couple of frat-looking guys he doesn’t even know talk him into a contest of shots. It’s Sharpy’s fault — he appeals to the competitive side he knows Johnny can’t let go of at the best of times, and one of the guys, blonde curls, a lazy smirk of a grin, picks up on it pretty fast too.

Hope you don't mind by haroldslouis

“Oh, sorry, man,” the guy says, giving him a quick grin. “Thought you were someone else.” He taps the visor of Patrick’s snapback and just like that, he turns around and disappears into the crowd.Patrick doesn’t know how long he stands there, just looking at the general direction he disappeared in.

or, 5 times Jonny mistook Patrick for someone else + 1 time he definitely didn't

Room 4 Rent

Patrick stares at the ad for a while, clicking back and forth between the Craigslist page and his  fantasy hockey league, chewing on his bottom lip.

3 bedroom apartment near Loyola. One room available, others occupied by two male students.  Shared living room and kitchen. Two bathrooms. Rent split three ways. Email tazer19@gmail.com  or call 773-639-7812 for more info. No texts please.

are you buying what i'm selling? - frat party buddies

The Sigma Chi Halloween Bash is in a week, Jonny’s holding two tickets, and he has nobody to go with.

He had a somebody to go with, until that somebody decided Jonny’s student athlete life wasn’t worth  hanging around for. Their relationship was already tanking anyway; Jonny’s more upset about  potentially wasting a $40 ticket than that shit ending. Whatever.

Just A Spark by heartstrings  ⭐ - magical realism!

In a desperate attempt to hide his feelings from the object of his affections, Patrick accidentally drinks a love potion that causes the people around him to fall for him. Too bad it seems to work on everyone but Jonny.

do you know who you are? by liveinfury - frat bros

“Sure, Cap. I’ll try to keep it quiet.” Patrick winks at Jonny. “But be honest, you like the noises I make, huh?”

“What? Of course not!" Jonny sputters. "I’m not gay!”

(or where Jonny can't figure out why he feels so uneasy when Patrick brings guys home to their frat house).

The Great Desk Assembly Project - they were roommates

“I’m going to nail some shit,” he says. “Jonny, come watch me nail some shit.”

“We share a room, I don’t need to watch you nail anything else.”

“That’s not what you were saying last night,” Pat says with a laugh in his voice. He reaches back  behind him and punches Jonny in the shoulder for good measure.

No, It's Not A Secret by SimoneClouseau ⭐ - always a girl Jonny 

Hey, hey, you, you, I don't like your boyfriend. No way, no way. I think you need a new one.

Jehanne Toews is dating a loser. Sometimes it takes a ridiculous awesome young star on the Blackhawks to see the light.

good form - always a girl Pat!  ⭐ 

“Best head of your life?”

“Yes, he was better than you, you competitive motherfucker.” Hayds says it like it’s a joke, like it’s funny, like it’s not the single most devastating thing a girl could say to Pat.

“A hockey bro gave you the best head of your goddamn life? Am I in the fucking Upside Down?”

“Believe it, baby. Jonathan Toews: hockey bro and magical pussy-eating wizard.”

forever i'll try for you and i by staraflur - always girls Jon and Pat!

It’s extra great—whenever Jo’s losing, she always makes like their running point tally competition isn’t real. Tonight’s true to form: when Trish holds up three fingers and points at herself, then two before pointing at Jo, Jo actually scoffs as she pokes at a couple chicken breasts with the tongs, trying to find the best one.

remedial at love - jonny ‘i'm great at math but the math tutor's really hot so i'm gonna pretend i'm not' toews

There have been a lot of things Kaner’s done that could be considered suspect. He chose the  Backstreet Boys over Nsync for the Kane Dance-Off Championship when he was 15. He opted to go  to Disneyland instead of Disney World for his high school graduation present. He frosted his tips after  coming out in 12th grade because he thought that was like, the obvious thing to do until he realized  this was not, in actuality, the 90s.

But this one. Calling up ‘Jtoews’ and requesting tutelage in math when he was a fucking wiz at math  was -- the most highly suspect of all.

Drink yourself under, fuck yourself over by Mythisea

Jonathan Toews is the sophomore captain of the college hockey team. Patrick Kane recently quit hockey before coming to college.

Jonny thinks Patrick would be perfect on his wing. Patrick would rather be drinking. Jonny does not approve.

Make The Moves Up As I Go by agirlnamedfia - tutor!Jonny with a dash of angst and pining

Patrick has his first Econ 202 class on the second day of the spring semester. It doesn’t exactly go well.

how to make boys-next-door out of assholes series by bessyboo, thisissirius - textfic

Yo man, Sharpy's having a party tonight. You up for it or you gonna be a boring shit and study???

it's only you and me by crystaljules - graduation blues

"We're so fucking stupid."

Overdosed on Confidence by runphoebe ⭐ - fwb, internalized homophobia

“Someone could -,” Jonny starts, breaking off when Patrick ducks down to draw Jonny’s lips against his, kissing him fever-hot and wet and desperate. Jonny’d be embarrassed by how hungrily he responds, but he knows Pat’s into it, moaning unashamedly into Jonny’s mouth when he tightens a hand around Pat’s neck. “Someone could see,” he finally gets out, voice rough, when Patrick pulls back, as if Patrick’s supposed to believe that that’s any sort of protest.

Patrick licks his lips, the hint of a smirk playing at the corners of them in that familiar way like when Patrick's got a particularly bad idea on his mind. “Guess you better be quick then, huh?” he says cryptically, waggling his eyebrows at Jonny. Jonny’s a second away from rolling his eyes and asking what he means when Patrick slithers off Jonny’s lap and onto his knees on the floor beneath Jonny’s table and - oh. Oh.

Silence Gives You Space by liveinfury - pining, misunderstandings

“Have you been avoiding me?”

“’Course not,” Patrick says. “I’m just letting you do your own thing.”

“My own thing?”

“Yeah, didn’t want to crowd your space,” Patrick blurts out. Fuck, he didn’t mean to actually say that.“You’re not…”

“Cool.”

tuck you in - getting together

“You sexiled again?" He smirks and stuffs down the fondness that rolls  through him at theway Jonny’s hair is rumpled and a little bit wavy.

Jonny sits up slowly, groaning. “Yeah. Fuck, this is the third time in a week  and a half.”

obvious from the start - radio DJs Pat and Jon!

It’s not like Patrick even likes radio, because he hasn’t really listened to  anything that’s not on his iPod or his Pandora stations in years, but when he notices the red and  white flyer advertising the student radio station on the ground, he picks it up with the  excuse that he’s trying to be environmentally friendly.When he played hockey they told Patrick that he was too small, too short to  be a hockeyplayer; that he’d never make it because of his size. Hockey is, was, his heart  and soul, and he’d put years and years of his life into the one thing he knew he was good  at; threw his very being into the best he could be to prove that he can do it, be the best,  even if he was small.

Patrick supposes maybe he'll find something else that he’s just as good at.

stupid college boys series by 19trash88 - Jonny is the cute guy from Econ class

Patrick’s not one to wax poetic about a penis, but if ever there was a reason to, Jonathan Toews’ cock would be at the top of the list.

Green Light by heartstrings - friends to lovers

Patrick knows two things: he likes sex and he likes Jonny. If Jonny's newly single there's no reason not to combine the two. Right?

Everybody Wants to Touch Some(body Paragraphs) by Kerfluffle  ⭐

Wherein Jonny writes the worst essay ever, and weirdness abounds.

Motivation by somethingnerdythiswaycomes  ⭐ - pwp

Only Jonny could keep working on his LIT-110 paper while Patrick was getting himself off next to him. Fuck, but Patrick loved him so much.

Muse series by by somethingnerdythiswaycomes

So Jonny had applied for every damn job he was qualified for, even the "life model" one TJ goaded him into.So Jonny had received an email the next day asking for his availability to come in for a session.So, as it turned out, it wasn’t some random chick that was going to draw him. It was some random dude.

So "life model" apparently meant "nude model."

You Love Me, I Love You Harder So by leyley09 - overly competitive boys on the hockey team

Patrick circles around him at center ice. “Jonathan, my team is going to kick your team’s ass so hard your parents will be embarrassed without even knowing why.”“I’m gonna give you a lesson in goal scoring you’ll never forget.”“Toews, you couldn’t give me a lesson in long distance spitting. Anything you can do, I can do better.”“Oh yeah?”“I can do anything better than you.”

Jonathan Toews is used to be being the best. He has zero clue what to do with competition.

Especially when the competition is cute.

middle ground by boodreaus - college road trip, friends to lovers

Jonny, Patrick, and an excellent adventure.

Who Knew by themistrollsin

Jonathan and Patrick meet after they're forced to go to a party by their best friends (Adam and Brent respectively).

Night Moves by heartstrings - meetcute

After a series of unfortunate drunk events that lead him from falling into a snowbank to being laughed at by the police, Jonny meets Patrick in an elevator.

Ignite My Fire, Object Of My Desire by ThalassicThedes ⭐- theater boys!!!

A good ol' fashioned College Au in which the college itself is hardly even mentioned. Just... make of this what you will.

absolute beginners by heartstrings, thundersquall

That time Jonny walked into a diner and accidentally got himself a temporary fake boyfriend.

Like A Classic - royalty!Jonny

So: due to a series of complicated and improbable events involving some sort of life debt and signed promise from two generations ago, it was decreed that Patrick had to marry the Crown Prince of Canada.

Captain Oblivious by wantstothrill - royalty!Pat

Why would Jonny care about the American royal family visiting his university? He's Canadian. He hasn't paid any attention to Prince Patrick since he was a teenager. He's more concerned with the very hot guy he's just run into, who's name also happens to be Patrick. What a coincidence.

+

check out the high school AUs tag aaand the college AUs tag @ 1988rebloggedfic!

[aion-rsa]

Resident Evil Timeline in Chronological Order

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The reveal of Resident Evil Village‘s release date and gameplay brings us that much closer to another entry into one of the more complicated (and sometimes confusing) timelines in video game history. 

Granted, the Resident Evil timeline doesn’t stray too far from the release order of the games themselves, but subtle shifts in the storyline created by the occasional odd entry mean that it’s easy to lose track of how we got here. That’s why we’re going to try to help chart the Resident Evil timeline as it stands today.

For the purposes of this discussion, please note that we’re only talking about the Resident Evil games and not the live-action or animated movies. Furthermore, we’ve included some spinoffs but are ignoring games that are either largely irrelevant to the timeline (such as Resident Evil: The Mercenaries 3D) or have been removed from or avoided in the canon (Resident Evil Gaiden). That said, let us know if we missed any important entries in the comments below. 

Resident Evil Zero 

Release Year: 2002

Timeline Date: July, 1998

While Resident Evil’s naming conventions create plenty of chronological confusion, the appropriately named Resident Evil Zero is where you want to start if you want to play through the major Resident Evil games in order. 

Released six years after the first Resident Evil game, Resident Evil Zero tells the story of officer Rebecca Chambers and a criminal named Billy Coen who battle through the aftermath of a train wreck that helped kick off Racoon City’s zombie problems. 

While it’s nice that this game tells us a little more about Rebecca, the highlight of this story is undoubtedly how it sets up Albert Wesker, William Birkin, and other key members of the Umbrella Corporation. Zero directly leads into the first Resident Evil game and its revelations about Umbrella would echo throughout the rest of the franchise. 

Resident Evil

Release Year: 1996

Timeline Date: July, 1998

The first Resident Evil game is thankfully located fairly close to the beginning of the Resident Evil timeline. Honestly, it’s surprising Capcom hasn’t made more Resident Evil games that occur before this one. 

Regardless, you probably know what Resident Evil is all about by this point. As the story of S.T.A.R.S. officers forced to investigate the Spencer Mansion following several attacks/disappearances, Resident Evil brilliantly set-up this series’ grander mythology while telling a compelling standalone story. 

If you’re working your way through the Resident Evil series in chronological order, be sure to play the all-time great remake of the original Resident Evil that was first released for GameCube. 

Resident Evil 3: Nemesis (First Half)

Release Year: 1999

Timeline Date: September, 1998

Ok, here’s where the timeline is going to get weird. 

Resident Evil 3’s opening sequences occur 24 hours before the start of Resident Evil 2. While there are some obvious plotline ties to Resident Evil 2 in those early segments, much of the beginning of this game is really a side story designed to shed some light on what happened to Jill Valentine after Resident Evil. 

Its spot on this list is largely a technicality, but for the sake of accuracy, Resident Evil 3 does technically help bridge the first and second games. 

Resident Evil 2

Release Year: 1998

Timeline Date: September, 1998

The legendary Resident Evil 2 elevated the Resident Evil franchise and set up many of the narrative pieces that would come into play later on.

This is the game that introduced us to Leon Kennedy, Claire Redfield, Sherry Birkin, Racoon City, and so much more. It’s also the game that told us a little more about Umbrella, their various viruses, and the zombie outbreak, which really helped explain this universe a bit more clearly before Resident Evil Zero filled in more of the missing pieces. 

Most importantly, Resident Evil 2’s ending helps set-up the extent of Umbrella’s mistakes/intentions and how they will turn what started near Racoon City into a series of events that would affect multiple parts of the world. 

Resident Evil 3: Nemesis (Second Half)

Release Year: 1999

Timeline Date: October, 1998

The second half of Resident Evil 3 takes place two days after the events of Resident Evil 2, which technically necessitates the somewhat strange split on this timeline.

By and large, though, the most important takeaways from the second half of Resident Evil 3 from a chronological standpoint are the destruction of Racoon City and the fate of Jill Valentine who would go on to play an important role in upcoming series events.

The original game also featured some still-frame ending sequences that revealed a little more about what happened to characters such as HUNK, Ada Wong, and Barry Burton, but Resident Evil 3 was designed as something of a side story and it largely serves as a side story to this day. 

Resident Evil Survivor

Release Year: 2000

Timeline Date: November, 1998

The largely forgettable light gun shooter Resident Evil Survivor manages to work its way into the Resident Evil timeline by virtue of how it somewhat helps answer questions left by the previous games.

Resident Evil Survivor takes place after the destruction of Racoon City at the end of Resident Evil 3. While it takes place on a small island that hosts an Umbrella facility, the game served as an early indication that Umbrella’s experiments absolutely could not be contained regardless of the extreme measures that were enacted to do so. 

More importantly, this game introduced us to Ark Thompson: an associate of Leon Kennedy whose presence verifies that Kennedy has continued to investigate and combat Umbrella following the end of Resident Evil 2. 

Resident Evil Code: Veronica

Release Year: 2000

Timeline Date: December, 1998

While Code: Veronica’s strange name and Dreamcast exclusive release have long made it something of an oddity, it does fit into the Resident Evil timeline fairly cleanly. 

This is the game that finally reunited Claire Redfield with her brother Chris. For that matter, it’s also the game that finally showed us what Chris Redfield was up to following the events of the first title. It even establishes a professional dynamic between Chris, Claire, and Leon that would come into play later as the trio settled into their future careers.

More importantly, this is the game that brought Albert Wesker back into play and confirmed that he has acquired superhuman abilities. His decision to take Steve Burnside’s corpse at the end of the game would also affect what comes next.

Read more

Games

Resident Evil Games Ranked from Worst to Best

By Chris Freiberg

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Resident Evil Director Triggers Debate Over the Appeal of Classic Resident Evil Games

By Matthew Byrd

Resident Evil: The Darkside Chronicles

Release Year: 2009

Timeline Date: 2002

This somewhat obscure Nintendo Wii game would have been easy to leave off the timeline (it even retells events of the previous games) were it not for one interesting way that it helps tie Veronica to Resident Evil 4. 

The game’s early “Operation Javier” scenario takes place four years after Resident Evil 2 and sees Leon Kennedy enter a South American village in search of a powerful drug lord named Javier Hidalgo. Try not to be surprised, but it turns out the village is overrun by zombies. 

It also turns out that Hidalgo actually purchased a sample of the virus that Wesker took from Steve Burnside’s corpse and used it to save his dying daughter. It’s a small plot beat, but again, it does help connect Veronica to Resident Evil 4, Leon Kennedy, and the rest of the franchise.

Resident Evil: The Umbrella Chronicles

Release Year: 2007

Timeline Date: February, 2003

While much of what happens in Umbrella Chronicles largely recaps the events of previous games, this title’s final scenario does feature a few new plot points.

Most notably, the game ends with Albert Wesker infiltrating a secret Umbrella facility and stealing classified files. From there, we learn that the evidence in these files is enough to convince the U.S. government to aggressively pursue legal recourse against Umbrella and its executives. 

Wesker’s actions in this moment would create a power vacuum that helped influence many events to come. 

Resident Evil 4

Release Year: 2005

Timeline Date: 2004

It’s one of the scariest, most important, and greatest games of all-time, but when Resident Evil 4 was promoted, most people just wanted to know how this game fit into the previously established Resident Evil mythology. 

Early in the game, we learn that Leon Kennedy has been sent to a village in Spain to rescue the President of the United States’ daughter. More importantly, we learn that the zombie-like residents of this village are infected with a previously unknown virus known as Las Plagas.

Las Plagas is interesting in its own right, but from a chronological standpoint, its biggest immediate impact was the way it helped reintroduce Ada Wong following her debut in Resident Evil 2 and tied Wong to legendary series villain Albert Wesker. That relationship (and their interest in acquiring Las Plagas) would set up much of what comes next. 

Resident Evil: Revelations

Release Year: 2012

Timeline Date: 2004/2005

It’s not generally considered part of the “main” Resident Evil series, but Resident Evil: Revelations does a tremendous job of showcasing some of the changes that were only referenced in Resident Evil 5.

The big revelation in this game (I know, I know) is that a new group called the Bioterrorism Security Assessment Alliance (BSAA) has been formed in response to an increase in bioterrorism across the globe. Both Jill Valentine and Chris Redfield have joined the group as agents. 

While some of the events featured in Revelations weren’t expanded upon in a meaningful way, seeing the earlier days of BSAA (as well as Chris and Jill’s involvement with the organization) does help to add a little weight to what happens in Resident Evil 5.

Revelations also makes it a little easier to process some of the global intrigue surrounding the creation and distribution of the multiple viruses that will become a much bigger part of the next few games in the series. 

Resident Evil 5

Release Year: 2009

Timeline Date: 2006

Perhaps rightfully criticized for trying to do too much with the Resident Evil mythology, Resident Evil 5 does make a little more sense if you play it in chronological order along with some of the supplementary releases. 

In short, Resident Evil 5 sees BSAA member Chris Redfield pursue a bioterrorist named Ricardo Irving. A strange series of events results in Chris discovering that Tricell (the company that funds the BSAA) is not only advancing Umbrella’s research but has partnered with Albert Wesker in the hopes of utilizing his expertise on the viruses. Speaking of Wesker, we also learn that he is actually an Umbrella creation who is trying to spread viruses as a means of wiping out humans not “strong enough” to survive. 

This game offers a lot to take in, but it essentially wraps up the main part of the Wesker plotline (for now), ties Plagas into the Umbrella mythos a little more cleanly, and furthers the global growth of the chronology’s core concepts. 

Resident Evil: Revelations 2

Release Year: 2015

Timeline Date: 2011

The somewhat underrated Revelations series comes through yet again by helping to cleanly connect major Resident Evil titles. 

The game’s biggest contribution is the way that it reintroduces Claire into the franchise after she spent quite a few years away from the spotlight. We learn that she’s working with the biohazard prevention agency TerraSave and that she’s even in contact with Barry Burton and his family. 

Granted, the standalone storytelling in this game is more substantial than the chronological connections, but it’s nice to have an idea of what Claire has been up to after all these years. 

Umbrella Corps 

Release Year: 2016

Timeline Date: 2012

It’s nearly impossible to recommend Umbrella Corps on the basis of its gameplay, but as a piece of the Resident Evil canon, Resident Evil answers some important questions. 

Some of this game’s plot details are heavily disputed, but Umbrella Corps essentially reveals that Umbrella was reformed/reworked over the years following the events of the original games. They’re now more focused on cleaning up the mess that Umbrella helped create, and they’re even working with organizations like the BSAA in pursuit of that goal. 

While this game also heavily implies that Albert Wesker is still alive, certain questions regarding how much of this title is going to carry over into future installments remain something of a mystery. It’s also worth noting that the game’s multiplayer mode takes place after Resident Evil 6, but again, questions remain regarding its long-term impact.

Resident Evil 6

Release Year: 2012

Timeline Date: 2012

We’ve spoken before about Resident Evil 6’s gameplay shortcomings and other bad decisions, but it’s worth noting again that Resident Evil 6’s often convoluted plot has long confused players who didn’t keep up with every timeline development up until this point. 

As a globetrotting story that features most of the major Resident Evil characters (except, strangely, Claire) in prominent roles, Resident Evil 6 focuses on the C-Virus and the various attempts to spread and stop it. 

There’s, quite a lot that happens, but from a timeline standpoint the most important takeaways are that Chris Redfield stays with the BSAA in charge of a new squad, Jake Muller (son of Albert Wesker) has become an operative, and characters such as Leon Kennedy, Sherry Birkin, and Ada Wong are all alive and operational. How much of that will be used in subsequent Resident Evil games remains to be seen. 

Resident Evil 7: Biohazard

Release Year: 2017

Timeline Date: 2014

While serious questions remain regarding Resident Evil 7’s role in the series, all evidence suggests that it does take place after the events of Resident Evil 6 and that even some of its seemingly unrelated events connect to the series’ bigger timeline. 

The biggest tie-in to the rest of the franchise, though, has to be the appearance of Chris Redfield at the end of the game. Even though he looks different (which Capcom says is a result of new technology they use to scan actors), Redfield’s presence, the appearance of a Blue Umbrella helicopter, and hidden references to the BSAA all strongly suggest that Resident Evil 7 is at least honoring most of the major events that occurred until this point. 

What remains to be seen is whether some other loose threads from previous games are addressed. 

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

Resident Evil Village

Release Year: 2021

Timeline Date: 2014

Capcom continues to conceal the finer points of Resident Evil Village‘s plot, but we can at least confirm that it takes place after the events of Resident Evil 7.

The continuing adventures of Ethan Winters are exciting enough, but we’d be lying if we told you we weren’t curious to see if other major Resident Evil characters and events will appear in the game. We’re also waiting to see whether or not the creatures we’ve seen in early trailers are still the product of some bioengineered threat or if Capcom is starting to dive deeper into the supernatural.

The post Resident Evil Timeline in Chronological Order appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3sKxIMy

[unicyclehippo]

Beauyashter prompt, 'Touch starved but oh so very patient'?

beau is good at one thing: being a smart ass. she’s been talking back to people since she was only months old, so the story goes—a red faced scrunched up ugly as all hell baby (cute despite it all, because this story was only ever told kindly) and any time her parents cooed over her or spoke to her she’d burst back with a torrent of angry baby talk, tiny baby fists waving.

wait.

beau is good at two things: being a smart ass, and being a shit kicker. she’s got a helluva mouth on her, two fists and two feet, and the gods themselves can’t do shit to stop her from using ‘em.

no, wait. fuck.

she’ll get it right this time. she’s trying this whole awareness thing, truth thing, and has this thought that, like, if she runs from the truths inherent in herself then she’s gonna miss them in other people, so—

beau is good at three things—being a smart ass, being a shit kicker, and being a nosy piece of shit. figuring stuff out. curiosity is her constant companion, infects her tongue, infects her hands, makes her say things and touch things because she wants to know who, and how, and what, and why? what’s better in this world than knowing how it all works? taking the time to figure it all out?

way back when, when she was by herself and cutting out from the archives to see the world and what it had to offer, she was interested in liars and cheats and scoundrels and gems. she loves gems. jewellery too, actually—likes the way the claws of rings hold cut stones in place, likes to watch as jewellers grins and polish them into shapes. likes examining them for facets and flaws. big surprise there, to anyone who knows beau. back then, she wouldn’t’ve said anything about it but now—months down the track and kinda embroiled in a lot of people’s messes—if anyone asked, beau might—might—admit she isn’t in it for the flaws. she just—thinks they’re important. thinks they can’t and shouldn’t be looked over. flaws...set gems apart, make them different. hell, sometimes they even make them more expensive! and it’s the same with people, in some ways. it’s not that she’s looking for the bad shit they do, or the ways in which they’re fucked up—it’s just that once you know that, once you’ve found that, sometimes it shows you more about the person.

okay, that’s a relatively new revelation.

beau used to just like to be able to point out the fact that hey, fucker, i might be a piece of shit but so are you, and here’s my fucking proof: exhibit a, and so on.

but now.

people are complicated, and they’re in over their heads, and things that sound like lies aren’t always lies—or not entirely—and beau has always been a details kinda person but she knows when to take a step back and gauge the entirety of a situation. even when it’s hard. even if it strains the mind, proves impossible.

which is all to say, that is, beau is sharing a room with jester and yasha and she hasn’t been able to sleep for thinking.

she has, as quietly as she was able, moved a small table to sit beneath the window and she has her jewellers kit laid out to clean and polish a few of the rings and other pieces they’ve picked up along their journey, the beading and crystal and stone worked into her fine expositors robes. it’s not something she does when other people can see—earns more questions than she would like, which is zero—but they’re having an audience with the king again tomorrow and they didn’t have a choice about it last time but beau would like to make something of a good impression this time.

the work is slow and methodical, repetitive. calming. gives her plenty of space to think.

so beau does.

her mind clicks over the cult and trent and caleb, and the letter, and kamordah for a moment before beau snaps away from that, powerfully enough that her head actually snaps to the side.

she shakes the thought away.

blinks over at her friends and forces her heart beat to slow and settle.

yasha sleeps differently now. deeply. beau’s mind fiddles and fusses with the details of what it has learned, fits jagged pieces together like a puzzle. a mosaic, more like, with the pieces sharp enough to cut. beau must cut herself on them because she winces when she thinks, defensive mechanism maybe? hoping to die in her sleep? or maybe just to stay in a dream where she was more of herself?

she would have to ask yasha questions to find out more. she’s not doing that.

jester, meanwhile, is sleeping fitfully. she’s laying on her side and has an extra pillow cuddled tight to her, and as beau drags a polishing cloth over the pretty emerald of what is very clearly a fake stone—a good one, but fake—she watches jester twitch and mumble something in her sleep. watches fingers dig tight into the pillow. watches her tail wrap and wrap around her calf and ankle.

a nightmare. she doesn’t have to ask jester to know that.

beau is good at three things: being a smart ass, being a shit kicker, and figuring shit out.

her friends, her girls, they need something and beau knows what some of it is: calm, safety, protection, reassurances, attention. the things most people need when they’ve been through not just one but, like, a hundred fucking traumatic experiences.

thing is, beau can figure shit out. she’s good at it, most of the time. the thing she isn’t good at—really, really isn’t good at—is fixing things.

beau returns her attention to the rings. sets the finished ones aside but the one she’s working on now—real sapphire, square cut, gold—she wears on her index finger, turning it carefully to get at the problem spots.

she isn’t good at it. but she can try.

//

yasha is in some ways harder to talk to than jester, but in a big way she’s also much easier to talk to. the woman has been admitting to things and explaining things and trying her best to make amends in whatever patchwork manner she can, and beau has zero qualms in using that for her own purpose.

‘you look like shit,’ beau tells her, sitting down across from her at the breakfast table. the inn they’ve stopped in is small but nice, and it has opened the shutters on the east wall to let the morning light stream in like pillars of gold. yasha is sat next to one of them, scritching carefully behind the ears of frumpkin.

yasha glances up. settles a moment on beau’s chest before looking away again. ‘i just bathed.’

‘that’s - no - you don’t look like actual shit,’

‘beau.’ the woman smiles. ‘i’m joking.’

beau leans back on the bench seat, braces her elbows against the back board, scoffs. ‘yeah, totally, i knew that.’ she looks away. the maid is still making up her plate. ‘you want to talk about it?’

‘sure,’ yasha agrees easily. her shoulders betray her, tensing, tightening.

they sit there in an awkward silence before,

‘usually people say something—‘

‘do you have questio—‘

‘oh, go ahead,’

‘no, no,’ yasha waves her free hand, the other still so gently petting frumpkin. she hides behind her hand like it’s a shield, interposed between them. ‘go ahead.’

beau clears her throat. feels an itch behind her eyes, exhaustion on so many levels, for so many reasons.

‘i was just gonna say, you said yes to talking but then you didn’t, so,’

‘i thought...you had questions.’

‘i didn’t mean it as a fucking interrogation, yash,’ beau says, and there’s no heat to her words at all. just dry. just dust, spilling out of her. ‘if you wanna talk, i’m here. that’s all i meant.’

yasha nods.

beau’s breakfast comes and she eats as she always does in quick motions, an arm curled around the plate as she shovels the eggs into her mouth. a few strips of bacon into the pocket for later and she’s done. she shoves the plate to the far end of the table to take back to the kitchens later. doesn’t move just yet.

she lets her eyes fall onto the window. the dark wood is painted nearly white with the morning sunlight and she can see dust motes drifting gently through the haze, puffing into swirls and eddys whenever someone moves.

‘are you going to - report me?’

beau blinks. drags her attention back to yasha. sees not fear or upset but a deep and abiding resignation in those eyes.

‘i already have,’ she tells yasha. the woman nods. ‘and i told them the truth. you weren’t yourself.’

‘you said you didn’t know that. not for sure. you said—‘

‘i say a lot of shit.’

‘you were not lying. you nearly died,’ yasha says, and she doesn’t stumble over that or flinch away from it, though she had a big hand in it. ‘i think you could barely see, then, let alone lie.’

‘i lie better than i see,’ beau tells her. shrugs. ‘but you’re not wrong. i told you i figured two things were the most likely. and we got you back, so, eliminated the other reason. you weren’t yourself,’ beau tells her with the exact force and directness she had told the high curator to their face, zero intention of negotiating or altering that statement.

after a moment, when yasha says nothing, just sits opposite her, head lowered, beau leans back in her seat and moves one booted foot forward until it touches yasha’s. she looks away, returns her attention to the window.

the other woman pulls her foot back to make room for beau’s. beau can feel yasha watching her, so she closes her eyes.

eventually, she feels a pressure against the side of her foot, yasha’s finding hers again and resting alongside it. and they sit.

//

jester is harder to talk to. she speaks in dizzying circles and makes jokes and has beau all in a tangle before she can ask anything important, but beau still tries. it takes a little longer but beau takes that step back that she needs sometimes and watches properly, like jester is a mark or a competitor. and beau sees that beyond the whirlwind of chatter and creation and creativity, that jester has made for herself a very neat little bubble. no one goes in. jester rarely comes out. so when jester makes an offer—one that she knows, she knows, beau will refuse—beau looks her square in the eyes and accepts.

jester stops in her tracks. a cute little frown digs between her brows. ‘what?’

‘i said sure,’ beau tells her, crooks a challenging smile. ‘go wild.’

‘you want me—to paint your face?’

‘yup.’

‘like, me? with my paints?’

‘yeah. it’s a party, right?’

‘yeah,’ jester agrees, eyes widening, and she clambers to her feet. ‘oh my gosh, oh my gosh, beau, this is going to be so much fun! and so much better than the last time i did it, i promise i won’t make you into a creepy snake again, it’ll be so pretty, i promise.’

beau shrugs. ‘sure. i trust you.’

jester hurries to her haversack, planted at caleb’s feet within the clear set dome of the hut. she can’t hear their conversation but does notice that jester comes close to but doesn’t quite touch caleb. respectful of his raw state, maybe. she returns with a set of familiar paints, coloured and carefully wrapped in protective cloth and leather.

‘this isn’t the magic stuff, is it?’

‘no,’ jester laughs. ‘just my normal paints. what do you want? a moor bounder?’

‘we’re in the empire so i’m gonna have to do with no.’

‘they might not know what they look like. you might just look really really cool and scary.’

‘that’s true.’

‘i could almost make you a cat or a tree or a bunny or an eagle or—‘

‘can you make me an owl?’

jester grins, eyes bright. ‘i can try. it’ll take a while and—hey caleb? can you make frumpie—‘

‘he can’t hear you, jes,’

‘CAN YOU MAKE FRUMPIE—‘

‘no,’ beau laughs, throwing a hand up over jester’s mouth. the touch sends a jolt through her palm, makes her heart race. she’s too aware of that bubble jester has made around herself, too aware that she just broke it. she lets her hand drop, wipes it on her knee, feeling the rasp of fabric make her skin prickle, tickle, in almost the same manner. ‘he’s in the hut, it blocks sound.’

‘oh. right.’

fifteen minutes later, owl frumpkin perched and sleeping on beau’s pack beside her, they are ready. jester sits beside her and lays out the paints. negotiates for a full minute how to sit so that she can comfortably paint beau’s face. her cheeks darken with colour as she scoots closer, darken further still when beau spreads her legs for her.

jester moves closer. her knees press to the inside of beau’s thighs and, when she reaches up to paint the first layer over beau’s face, her free hand comes to rest on the bunched tight muscle of beau’s thigh, stabilising herself.

beau swallows. it makes a dry click in her throat. she closes her eyes. tries to focus on the balmy day, the sounds of fjord and nott training in the field nearby, rather than the hand pressing on her leg or the wet tacky pull of the paint as it slowly layers on.

jester is quiet.

it strikes beau as odd a few minutes into this whole thing—and her brain sharpens, pulls her focus from the hazed, drifting she’s touching me, she smells like lavender to purpose.

beau’s eyes flutter open. wander over the look of peace, of focused intent, of muted joy as jester paints. feels acutely pinned under the force of blue eyes as jester leans in, drags the wet tip of the brush just so under her chin and along the side of her jaw to frame her face. when she pulls back, her eyes slide to meet beau’s and she smiles, crinkles her nose.

‘hi,’ she whispers.

‘hey.’

she doesn’t have any questions any more. jester looks at peace for once, and if this is what it takes, beau can provide it for her.

//

beau takes jester’s hand, guides her over the cracked and crumbling rocks down off the path. jester’s head tilts in the direction of yasha, walking slow and purposeful like a fucking death march by herself. so beau finds herself flanking the woman with jester, setting her hand on the small of yasha’s back.

//

yasha awakes in the swampy heat that rolls in before a storm. beau fumbles awake at her side. ignores yasha’s quiet offer to go back to sleep, to not worry. leans heavy against her shoulder when yasha takes her place at the fire and beau falls back to sleep like that. drools a little. yasha doesn’t seem to mind so much because as they make their second days’ march across the sulphur drenched fields toward pride’s call, yasha is a solid presence at her side.

//

beau braids jester’s hair.

puts a hand on yasha’s shoulder like she would for caleb when she haltingly tells them of her last visit to this pit, to pride’s call.

drapes her blue and brown coat around jester when she tosses and turns in a sleepless night, lays beside her with a hand on her staff, so jester knows she’s safe, knows beau is there for her.

brings jester into a tight hug when the other girl shivers, shakes, at the sight of the massacre in the pit, the rows and piles of dead bodies.

‘anyone else reminded of that arcane laboratory back in zadash? the one with the pit fjord fell into?’ beau asks, and she wraps her other arm around yasha. a silent addition. this wasn’t you.

fjord picks up on it easily, tracks where beau begins and ends, connected to both yasha and jester. he nods. ‘i was just thinking the same thing,’ he says, and nothing more.

//

they have to go through kamordah. a contact is there, or something. beau doesn’t quite know because her head fills with this buzzing, crackling sound and when she sees jester talking to her she can’t make out the words. she can feel, though, the way gentle hands take her and press her down to sitting and her heart stutters when strong arms wrap around her in a hug. her brain that never ever stops going...stops. almost sighs with relief. fingers wind and weave in her hair, scratching against her scalp. rubbing gently at her shoulders. soothing beau into sleep.

when she wakes, it is with a single thought prominent in her mind, like her brain had pieces it together while she slept and hung it there, waiting for her to return to consciousness, return to her own mind.

jester and yasha want to be touched, want to be reassured, safe, calm, soothed. and so do you.

//

touching and being touched are two very different things, beau realises, and now that she knows it, everything gets a little bit harder. she can’t stop reassuring jester and yasha—wouldn’t hurt them like that, she’s not an asshole—but every time she does there is a flicker not of resentment but something akin to it, not directed to them but to herself. want, maybe. guilt, maybe. touching isn’t the same as being touched, and beau wants someone to want to touch her, to care enough to see what she needs. it feels ungracious of her but...to give back a little of what she gives.

the closer they get to kamordah, the more beau remembers that it’s not going to happen again. she made a fool of herself, panicking, which is why they held her.

things work in particular ways. beau knows this. the sun rises in the east and sets in the west. the seasons follow in their set pattern. small fish eat smaller fish, big fish eat the smaller fish. things have their uses, their purposes.

beau doesn’t get to need things. that’s not who she is. she isn’t the one who needs a hug or a pat on the shoulder. she won’t get one, so—

a hand wriggles into her own. tries to, but beau has it clenched into a painful fist so jester wraps her hand arojnd her wrist instead, fingers curling and stroking there and over beau’s knuckles.

‘okay?’ she asks brightly, worry clear in her eyes.

beau swallows hard. her smile ticks at the corner of her mouth but doesn’t stick. ‘sure. why not, right?’

‘maybe because your family seems like shit,’ yasha says in a low, angry rumble. her hand is big and warm and it rubs up and down beau’s spine. makes beau’s stomach flip and twist, makes her breath crackle out of her on a shuddering breath. she almost steps away from the touch—it’s too much—but she’s greedy. that’s another thing beau is. smart ass, shit kicker, smart, greedy. four things that she is. she unfurls one hand. jester takes it, squeezes.

[joonietonin]

Ethan Ramsey's Character Development:

Something that I'm really impressed with from today's chapter is Ethan's character development. I think it's one of the best character buildings in all of the Choices stories. Let's discuss.

In an earlier post about a month ago, I mentioned Ethan's characteristics. A serious, brooding, handsome doctor. Much senior to MC and the other interns. Has no real family. The closest person he'd call as family is probably Naveen followed by his dog Jenner. Has been a lone wolf since time immemorial. The only stable romantic relationship he ever had was an on again, off again fling which saw its closure when Harper became chief. He has never had anybody take care of him, so much that he does not expect anything remotely caring from even the closest of friends. Then comes, MC (my MC is female, pronouns: she/her) , slowly but surely she breaks Ethan's steel walls and gets to know him. It did take a lot of effort for MC to really get to know Ethan because Ethan right here, is a tough nut, won't crack easily. But with a lot of patience, admiration and of course, love, MC broke the walls Ethan thought were unbreakable. Then again, it would be wrong to give MC all credit because Ethan Ramsey, the grumpy asshole who wouldn't think twice before getting angry at an intern, didn't just magically fall head over heels for this one wide eyed intern right? He opened up to her because at one point, MC was the only person Ethan could even claim as a friend. MC went beyond the books to treat her patients and that is why Ethan always found MC to be an extraordinary doctor. But more than that, MC was always there for Ethan. Even during the times when he wasn't there for her, she held onto him. Ethan still cannot figure out how she did it. How can a person have so much faith in him when he himself has lost all hope? That part of her will perhaps always be a mystery to him. But what's beautiful is that Ethan finally realises that he isn't alone and that MC wants to be there for him even if he doesn't need someone to care for him.

I love how Ethan says,"I don't need you to take care of me, MC." It's almost as if he's giving her that one free pass to leave him and walk away just like most other people in his life have. What's beautiful is that once MC says,"No? But it sure looks like you do." - he doesn't shut her down. No witty remark or a rude gesture to tell her that's she's wrong and that he, in fact, does not need her to take care of him. This scene mirrors the time in the hospital when Ethan found out Naveen was really dying and closed the door on MC and shut her away from him. That scene in the one of the previous chapters, clearly helps us see how far Ethan has come. From shutting her away to finally accepting that she's here to stay and even though he won't straight up admit it, he likes, no, loves her presence in his life. His words and actions mimic his feelings. "Well.. if it's the doctor's orders." Him leaning in to MC's touch and relishing it but never once telling her to stop or go away, unlike the other times in the past where he does give into her touch but let's her go after a point. As MC says, "Let me take care of you.." the amount of reverence in her words melts his heart. Here's where we see a completely new side of Ethan. The side that finally knows better than to push MC away. The side that accepts the fact that there is someone who willingly cares for him and that he would do anything to keep her in his life. Accepting defeat is hard for Ethan, but he does not see this as a defeat of his willpower, he sees this as a new chapter in his life where rather than struggling and pushing people away, he let's them care for him. It's hard for him to accept that love and care but it's beautiful that he's trying. "Well.. if you insist." No comebacks, no retorts, no 'i don't need your care', but one 4 words that convey that he does need her and he's ready to open up to her. Ethan J Ramsey, the first time in 36 years, does not feel defeated by someone breaking his walls down, he feels liberated because he knows that the person who broke those walls down will be there for him no matter what.

Next up, is the scene where MC concocts her secret miracle hangover cure. Now, even a few chapters ago, Ethan wouldn't have dared to try something like that. He would've passed a few snarky remarks and refused to accept whatever weird concoction MC created. But now, Ethan is open to her and the possibilities that come along as he (kind of?) pursues a relationship with MC (I know nothing is official but come on, they're straight up married lmao) His snarky remarks are back but he watches with wonder as MC mixes, well, my MC mixed coffee with apples and ghost peppers and he was shocked to say the least. Yet what really made me smile was he poured a little for MC saying,"You're going on this journey with me. Bottoms up." Now, I'm not one for reaching but Ethan's statement is almost a foreshadowing of him letting his guard down in front of MC. It's as if he let's her know that they're in this together from now on whether it includes drinking an abomination of a hangover cure or saving his mentor from a deadly bacterial infection. His statement may seem assertive but it actually has a lot of meaning attached to it, if we dig a little deeper. Again, character development at it's finest.

Next, let's talk about the scene where he looks at the picture of Naveen and feels like he can't face his mentor again. He thinks he gave up on his mentor during a time of need. Forgiveness has always been a complicated concept to Ethan. Forgiving others is hard for him but what's even harder is forgiving himself. This scene was really meaningful because no matter which option your MC selects to comfort him, MC does it with a certain level of calmness but there's no sugarcoating. "Forgive yourself...or don't. It's doesn't matter. What matters is that your friend needs you. Forgiveness can wait." And that's exactly what Ethan needed. He did not need anybody to sugarcoat it to him and tell him to forgive himself. He needed someone to make him realise that he still had time to set things right and that there were bigger things in question than him forgiving himself. That's how MC is different from the regular people.. people who would've jumped at the opportunity to suck up to Ethan. But, not MC. That's what makes her different. She gives it to him as it is but she does it with care and comfort.

Then, there's the kiss. When MC kisses him, he questions her, "What was that for?" "For luck.",she says. Absolutely thrilling to see that Ethan, for the first time, chooses to be the one who asks for more, rather, takes his share of more. Ethan lets her know,"In that case, to pull this off, I'm gonna need a lot more luck." He kisses her fervently, again and again, letting her know that he wants this and he isn't afraid of asking what he wants anymore. Another interaction that completely made me smile like an idiot was where Ethan says, "I would apologize but.. I can't say I'm sorry for that." Much unlike his previous behaviour where he would not dare to act on his feelings and even if he did he'd write it off as a mistake. But now, he feels different. He isn't sorry for asking what he wants and getting it. Poetic cinema. 😏💯 Also, the scene where he tells MC not to tell anything about them to Naveen and MC thinks it's because he's embarrassed of her, but then he corrects her,"Nothing of that sort.. I just don't want to give the man the satisfaction of knowing he was right about us." I giggled! He's honestly so in love (too soon? Nah, I don't think so) and to think he's actually accepting the fact that he does like MC a lot, like Naveen had predicted! I love one (1) married couple. :') ❤️

Lastly, I'll quickly analyse the scene where MC hugs Ethan from behind and let's him know that he's "Ethan freaking Ramsey." What's monumental in this scene is that Ethan (FINALLY) let's her know his middle name. "Jonah. My middle name. Ethan Jonah Ramsey. But I guess, freaking works too." This scene might seem like a fun comic relief but it's actually so beautiful considering the fact that MC has always been someone curious to know more about Ethan and in the past it has always been her pushing answers out of Ethan, be it testing out the new fMRI machine or going to retrieve a little frog soft toy or hanging out at a cafe.. it's always MC who asks the questions and Ethan responds to them even if he isn't very comfortable at sharing those parts of his life. But this scene right here is so meaningful because this time around, Ethan slips a detail about himself on his own. He wants MC to know him, every little part of him. :') ❤️

Last but not the least, Ethan being there for MC for her trial. He knows that MC has many friends who are in all support of her. He knows that even if he didn't show up and stayed to take care of Naveen, MC wouldn't question a thing. But he promised her that he'd be there. "Do you want me there?" "Yes." "Then I'll be there." He promised her last chapter that he'd be there and there he was. He knew she had plenty of people to take care of her but he also wanted her to know that he was there for her too, just like she was for him. And he wasn't going anywhere. Him telling MC to stay strong and have faith is such a beautiful parallel considering it was MC who told him the same thing just a few hours ago. And most importantly, like I said, Ethan Ramsey would never sit in peace knowing he could do something to avoid MC's possible license suspension. "I might not be able to testify for you.. but believe me, I'm not out of tricks, either." Like I had said in an earlier post, Ethan will have a big role to play in MC's trial. It will be interesting to see how the finale unfolds. I think MC won't lose her license. But that's for next week. For now, let's just relish the fact that Dr. Ethan Jonah Ramsey is changing and this is one change that I'm so very happy with! :')

P.S.- He's also already head over heels in love with MC and they're a whole ass married couple, I won't take no for an answer. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk. ;)

[mymoodwriting]

Blooming Eyes

F!Reader x Poison Ivy!Suho

Genre: Poison Ivy AU

Warning: Murder, Science, Plants, Mind Control, Vines, Parasites, Infection, Flowers, Doll, Fire

Words: 4.2K

Chapters:

One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six | Seven | Epilogue

Prompt: Meeting an alien is one thing, but it’s a whole other thing when such a creature seems to fancy you. There was so much you wanted to do, but one decision changes your life in a way you never could have imagined.

A/n: I’m honestly super excited to write this and really wanted to update it for Christmas, so here you are!

 “I have a lot of work to do.” Suho looked around your apartment again. “Do you have any family I need to worry about?”

 “I’m an only child, parents never cared too much for me.”

 “Perfect. Shouldn’t be a problem though, I’m sure everyone things you’re dead. Go change into something more comfortable and pack a few clothes. Quickly now.”

       You went off to your room, changing into some loose clothes, grabbing some other things and putting it into a backpack. When you came back Suho was giving your plant some water, handing you the pot.

 “Can’t forget little Cupcake now can we. Cute name.”

       You followed Suho out, getting back in the car. You started the engine and drove. Even if you didn’t know where to go, he did, and that’s all that mattered.

 ♥♥♥♥♥

   You jumped awake, the vines quick to tighten, making you whimper. You calmed yourself down, looking around. You had hoped this time you’d wake up at home, or a hospital, but you were still somewhere foreign. You tried to get the vines off by hand but they weren’t having it. Tears stung your eyes.

“Please… please let go…”

   To your surprise they did, slowly moving away. You laughed in disbelief, taking a moment to get your head on straight. Your plan was to get up and run but the second you stepped out of the room you stopped. You realized the hallway was tile, and covered with what seemed like two inches of water, every doorway with a little barrier to prevent water from getting in.

   You looked down, confused but moving your feet around, enjoying the feel of water, but you quickly snapped yourself out of it. Running wasn’t really an option anymore, you didn’t want to draw attention to yourself. None of the rooms around you seemed to have doors either, the walls covered with vines. You didn’t think it would be hard to find a way out, given that nothing was hidden behind a door, but you were wrong.

   You underestimated how big the house was, feeling more lost with every step you took. You stopped when you walked into a certain room, seeing that one wall was just glass, and you could see the outside of the house. You ran to it, wishing a door would appear, but at least now you had something to follow. You went into one room after the other following the glass wall, trusting you’d eventually find a way out, and you did. You stumbled into a hallway, a clear way out just down the hall. You smiled making a run for it, but not getting out.

   As you were about to set foot outside the house a vine wrapped around your arm and yanked you back. You wound up turned around and on your knees, water settling back down, your clothes getting a bit wet. You were about to start yelling and pulling on the vine but when you looked at it you stared, feeling something familiar about it.

“Cupcake?”

“I told you they get upset when mommy gets out of bed. Imagine what they’re like when mommy tries to leave.”

  You heard splashing steps, looking over to see Suho approaching you. He took a sip of the drink he had then casually waved his hand, having the vine let you go, then helping you get on your feet.

“You must be hungry, and just in time, breakfast is ready.”

  Suho headed back into the house, but you didn’t move, the sounds of water and you dripping filled the hall. When you looked back at the doorway you saw all the plants growing over it to cover it up. You sighed, knowing there was no point in trying to get out, at least for now. Your stomach growled and you quickly caught up with Suho, not wanting to get lost again.

   The dining hall was huge and the smell of delicious food filled every inch of it. Even if you were hungry you were still hesitant, watching Suho sit down and eat. There was all kinds of breakfast foods on the table, greens, meats, four different types of juice, fruit, pancakes and waffles, and so much more, you were amazed.

“Wait… you… eat meat?”

“Some plants are carnivorous aren’t they?”

“Right…”

“Sit down, eat. I heard your stomach growl, and don’t think I did anything with the food. I wouldn’t do such a thing.”

  You didn’t want to trust him, but your mouth was watering and you wanted to try everything. You took a breath and sat down, carefully grabbing what you wanted. Suho would glance at you, probably thought you were weird, but he didn’t say anything. You were nervous taking your first bite, but it was good.

“So… I… I thought you didn’t need food?”

“I don’t, but I’ve had plenty of time to try your cuisines, and some are quite tasty.”

“Right…”

“I’m glad to see you out of bed. Didn’t think you’d get up on your own.”

“Yeah… I’m just as surprised…”

  You looked around the room, big and empty, just like every other one. Vines, plant life, was all over the house, probably the same on the outside too. The halls were all filled with water, every doorway having a little place to wipe your feet so you don’t drag water around into the rooms. You didn’t recognize the house, but it felt familiar.

“Suho…”

“Hm?”

“What’s… what’s going on… where am I? What did you do?”

“You’re home.” Suho’s phone chimed and he checked it. “I have a call to take. Now I’d explain, but there’s no point given you’ll remember soon enough.”

“A call? What do you mean?”

“You’re the one from this planet, a call, business call.”

“Business?”

“I have work to do, so behave yourself.”

“Right…”

  Suho smiled at you before leaving the room. You stayed seated for a while, thinking of what to do next. When you stood you remembered your wet clothes, thinking it was best to dress into something else before you caught a cold. You only took a step before you realized you had no idea where to go. You could wander around and try to find it, but you thought of trying something else first, even if it would seem ridiculous.

“Um… can any of you show me were my room is… so I can get dressed?”

  Nothing happened, and you laughed at yourself for thinking something would. You stepped out into the hall, standing in the water for a moment, a vine slowly grabbing your wrist. It gently tugged you along down the hall, keeping hold of you as it led you around. You were surprised, but also glad, and somewhat terrified. It seemed like you were wrong about being alone.

   You weren’t taken to the room you woke up in, instead to another one. The room was mostly filled with dressers, a few standing mirrors around too. The vine tugged you along to one of the double doors, other vines coming down to open the doors, revealing a walk in closet. Your eyes went wide as you stepped inside, seeing all the clothes that were clearly for you.

   You looked around, seeing all you had, and there was no doubt every piece of clothing was expensive. You didn’t know what to wear, but you were drawn to a red dress. You were curious as to why and when you got all that, but you were focused on that particular dress. There was something about it, but you weren’t sure what. You slowly reached for it, feeling the soft fabric and then a bunch of memories flooded your mind, causing you to collapse.

♥♥♥♥♥

  Seven Months Ago

   You pulled up the car to the entrance of a gated community, the guard on duty coming over to talk with you. Of course you weren’t going to say or do anything, you were just the driver. When the guard came over, Suho said something about seeing an old friend, handing the guard a bouquet of flowers. They went quiet for a moment then put on a big smile, suddenly being very friendly with Suho, and letting you through without any other questions.

   Suho looked around, glancing at each house, picking one out and you pulled into the driveway. You didn’t notice when he suddenly got another bouquet of flowers, but you followed him to the door. You weren’t quite sure what happened next but it happened fast. The flowers were handed over to the person who opened the door, Suho and you being welcomed in instantly, the door shutting behind you.

   A bunch of plants began to grow in the house once you were in, you heard a couple of screams but they were quickly silenced. Suho looked around the place, probably interested in the layout of the house compared to your little apartment. He was quick to take over the house, having all the inhabitants gathered in the living room. They were all in the same mindless state as you, but it didn’t last.

“I apologize for the home invasion, but I wanted to skip through the unpleasantness and questions.”

  The family in the house consisted of a mother, father, and an only child, a daughter. The three returned to their senses as the black veins faded, quite aware of what had just happened to them, and fear was keeping them quiet. Suho sat across from them, calm and collected.

“I mean you no harm. As you’re aware, I could have easily used you to attain anything I desire but that’s not what I want. I would prefer to form a relationship with you, there is much I can do for you.”

“What… what do you mean?” The father asked.

“Anything you want, I can make it yours. What I do is complicated to explain, but to make it simple, I can control your kind and have you do anything I please.”

“Prove it.”

“I couldn’t agree more. Is there anything you want that I can attain for you now, as a demonstration.”

“The boy next door.” The daughter suddenly said. “He’s gorgeous and should be going out with me! Instead he has some lowlife girlfriend.”

“So you want him to love you?”

“Yes.”

“What kind of love? Obsession? Adoration? Infatuation? Possessive?”

“I want him to love me like no other, and to give me anything and everything I want.”

“Lovely. I presume you like the idea as well.” Suho glanced at the parents. “Such a union would increase your overall wealth. Lucky you.”

   Suho had a red rose grow from his hand, taking in a deep breath of its scent. He held it out to the girl.

“Here. Have the boy you like smell it and then kiss him and he’ll be yours.”

“That’s it?”

“Yes. Easy, isn’t it? We’ll wait here.”

  The girl took the flower, a bit hesitant, but leaving with it. The rest remained quiet, the family still a bit scared of Suho, and rightfully so. A couple of minutes passed before the girl returned home, a love struck smile on her face.

“How did it go?” Her father asked. “Are you alright?”

“He went to go break up with that girl. And he wants to come over for dinner to properly meet you both. He’s perfect.”

“Young love. Now you see I’m no joke, but my gifts aren’t free.”

“What do you want?” The mother asked.

“Well, for the match making, I’d like your assistance in acquiring a new identity for myself and my friend.” Suho glanced over at you. “After that any of my talents will cost you some of your fortune.”

“Is she like you?”

“She is none of your concern.”

“Well then, we have a deal.”

  And that’s how it began, the next three months in that house, Suho using the time to craft his human identity, letting you keep your first name, your profession, and your age, but everything else was crafted to his liking. He was quick to acquire an insane amount of wealth, as was the family he was leeching off of. You were just quiet, following him around the house, and driving him around whenever he wanted to go out.

  He didn’t really need sleep, but he had a room in the house regardless. Most of his time was spent in there, making plans and doing who knows what. Of course he also needed to look after you, which is something he neglected at first. After a few days you just collapsed, startling Suho and making him remember you weren’t one of his plants. You woke up choking on water, Suho pouring some into your mouth.

“Stop!”

  You sat up on the couch, spitting out some water, then wiping the rest off your face. You looked around, not recognizing anything, your eyes then landing on Suho.

“What… what’s going on?”

“Oh right, I lowered my hold on you so you could rest.”

“Wa… what do y-”

  You yelled, grabbing your head. A strong headache suddenly hitting you, similar to what had happened in the lab. There was so much you didn’t understand, and this pain felt like it was going to kill you.

“Come on now, don’t fight me, you’ll just make it worse.”

  Eventually the pain overtook you, replacing clarity with a fog.Your eyes lost that spark of life and you stared at Suho, waiting. He pet your head, bringing over a food tray and spoon feeding you some soup.

“I had them make you something soft to eat. I apologize for neglecting your care, I’ve been rather busy and a few things slipped my mind. You’re human, you need more than sunlight and water.” You ate slowly, eyes a bit droopy. “You don’t have to finish the food, I just want to make sure you have food in your belly before I let you sleep.”

  You wound up eating half before you found it hard to keep your eyes open. Even with Suho dictating your actions, he couldn’t do much when your whole body was exhausted. He tucked you into bed, and you were quick to fall asleep when you let your eyes close. For the most part you had no idea what was going on, and even if you weren’t fully aware of anything, deep down you’d wonder why he kept you around.

“Do you ever do anything?”

  Lily, the daughter, came into Suho’s room, clearly looking for him, but instead finding you. She went over, staring at you, probably creeped out by the blank stare and constant silence. You’d always quietly stand behind Suho, and in his room just stay in the corner like one of the plants.

“Can I help you?”

   Suho entered the room, grabbing Lily’s attention. She smiled and plopped down in a chair. He watched her curiously, taking a seat himself.

“How’s my favorite uncle?”

“I’m not your uncle. You humans are rather greedy so why don’t you just tell me what you want? Is your husband not satisfying you?”

“Straight to the point, I like it. The thing is I have a problem. Mom and dad are just boring with their money.”

“Someone wants their inheritance early.”

“I didn’t know you were so understanding.”

“And what’s in it for me?”

“Well, I’m sure you can make it so mommy and daddy leave everything to us. Half of their fortune, is that reasonable payment?”

“Alright, give me a month. If they pass so suddenly there will be questions.”

“Fine, I can wait. Thanks.”

  She stood up and went over to try to give him a kiss on the cheek, but a vine quickly wrapped around her throat, holding her back.

“Don’t try that again.” Suho hissed. “Or else.”

“Noted.” She moved away and the vine let go. “Oh, and for fucks sake do something with her. It’s creepy that she just stands around and follows you quietly.”

   Suho made no comment, waiting for her to leave. He rolled his eyes once she was gone, looking over at you and chuckling.

“Come here y/n.”

   You walked over to Suho, and he pulled you onto his lap. He brushed some hair behind your ear, caressing your cheek.

“You’ve probably been wondering what you’re doing here too. Don’t worry, soon enough you can get started on this little project I have for you. Would you like that?” You nodded. “Good, cause it’s going to be a lot of fun.”

  It wasn’t long before the number of people in the house decreased. It seemed like death followed Suho everywhere, and all you could do was watch. You didn’t know what kinda project Suho was talking about, but it became clear soon enough. You had been sleeping when Suho suddenly woke you.

“Come on, I require your assistance.”

   You were still a bit tired but followed him anyway, going into Lily’s room. She was sleeping, a few plants in her room, and some medical equipment. As you looked around the room you could quickly understand what was going on.

“Don’t worry about her.”

   You just nodded, getting everything set up. Suho wanted to do a blood transfusion, as for why you couldn’t quite understand, but it wasn’t your place to. Her husband was nowhere to be found, surely Suho had taken care of that. You watched her vitals, everything was stable at first, but it quickly went downhill. You tried to fix it but in the end it all failed. Before you could say anything Suho slammed you against the wall.

“According to your knowledge this should have worked!”

“I’m unsure what you were trying to achieve here.”

“My DNA is similar to yours, which means your kind should have the potential to become like me. A blood transfusion should have worked!”

“Your assessment is incorrect. Your DNA is similar to humans in design, not material. Your DNA is also similar to plants, something not compatible with the human genome. Furthermore you’re an extraterrestrial, what you just did was introduce foreign material into the bloodstream, along with DNA sequences not compatible with that of a humans. Such action results in death.”

“Why didn’t you tell me this before!”

“You didn’t ask for my assessment of your actions.”

Suho sighed. “Did you know she would die?”

“No. As you understood, your DNA is similar, there was a chance the body would understand that.”

“So why did it fail?”

“Too many components left to chance. Your DNA is more than one thing, you were asking her to change on a molecular level in an instant. To accept the plant genome and the other foreign materials of your DNA as her own. There was a chance of success, but given the other two components, failure was more likely.”

“Fine, then answer me this. Is it possible for your kind to become like me?”

“Yes, and no.”

“Explain.”

“I cannot recreate your genetic makeup in a human, but I can make a close copy via genetic splicing.”

“What do you mean?”

“Your abilities cannot be duplicated, but it is possible, in theory, to splice human DNA with plant DNA. Similar to you, half human, half plant, as for the actual effects such a procedure would cause, I’m not sure until I actually look at the possibilities.”

“Interesting. So you can do that?”

“No.”

“What?”

“I know about human genetics, but not plants, and I’m not an expert on genetic splicing. What you are asking for isn’t something I can do alone.”

“I see, then we’re done here. Go grab your things and Cupcake, we’re leaving.”

  You left the room, stumbling down the hall. Once you were gone Suho noticed the blood on the wall from where your head had been. He swore under his breath and ran after you, finding you on the floor. You were barely conscious and he pulled you into his lap, feeling the blood on the back of your head. He was quick to heal the injury, getting you to the bedroom to wash away the blood, then handing you your bag and Cupcake.

   You followed him out and this time he drove. He could, ever since he landed on the planet, he just never had the need to, except now. You probably could have done it but after the injury he rather you just rest. As for the mess in the house, he had his contingency for that. The husband would start a fire, burn the evidence of what actually happened, and confess to killing his wife. Suho had also already taken care of his presence and yours in that house and neighborhood, you were never there. You weren’t sure where he was going but where he stopped wasn’t what you were expecting.

“I have been meaning to get you some new clothes, what better time to go shopping then now.”

  Suho had you hook your arm with his, leading you around the shopping center. Even if the clothes were for you, he was the one picking them out. When he didn’t need your brain you were just a doll to him, one that needed to dress more to his liking. He’d always have you change in front of him, do a few turns, and decide whether he liked it on you or not. Although when you got to a red dress he was quiet for a while.

“Come here.”

  He sat you down in his lap again, staring. After a bit he checked to make sure your head was okay, and that you hadn’t sustained any serious side effects. You seemed okay for the most part but he was still a bit weary, deciding to take you to the ER to have a professional look you over, it’ll also be a great way to expand his own knowledge. You left with that dress on, along with a bunch of new and expensive clothes.

♥♥♥♥♥

  Suho found you in the closet after his call, sobbing and curled up on the floor. He gently picked you up in his arms, trying to soothe you and get you to calm down.

“You’re alright, don’t cry.”

“You… you lied… you killed those people… and others… the infection… you said you had… no control… you lied… I… I let you out…”

“Sh, take it easy.”

“It takes minutes! Seconds even for you to take over! Why… why did it take five months with me!”

“I was weak remember. It was a miracle I even got close to you the way I did, and you weren’t around me a lot, so it took a very long time to grow. Sorry for all the headaches and restless nights. The sun lamps would turn off after hours and come back on early in the morning, probably woke you up too. If you had really left after quitting, would have taken another two weeks at best.”

“You… I… I let you out…”

“You would have set me free whether you wanted to or not, so don’t feel guilty.”

“Let go of me!”

  You shoved him away, stumbling up to your feet and running out of the room. This time you didn’t care much for being subtle, hurrying along down the halls and trying to find a way out again.

“Y/n!”

“Stay away from me!”

  You just heard his voice but that was enough to scare you. You were probably lost but you didn’t care, knowing you had to keep moving. Eventually though you noticed flowers growing from the vines on the wall and you started to get tired. Stumbling with your steps, and falling to your knees. It didn’t stop you right away though, having you resort to crawling, but of course you wouldn’t get far before you were found.

“Y/n, stop it.”

“Stay… away from me…”

“You can’t even stand.”

“Go… away…”

  You collapsed to the ground, finding the water comforting despite the situation. It wasn’t the time to sleep but you felt very tired. Suho knelt down, gently caressing your cheek.

“What did you remember?”

“The house… we stayed in… the family… you destroyed…”

“That was their own greed.”

“Lily…”

“Her? Really? She’s the one who wanted her parents dead. She was a necessary sacrifice, you shouldn’t concern yourself with such trivial things. These memories are rather useless aren’t they, well, not entirely, but some parts are. I’ll fix that.”

“Don’t…”

“Sh, it’ll take a moment.”

  You had no strength to fight him as he pulled you into his lap, the two of you getting wet. He gently placed a hand on your head, and you felt a slight tingle before another headache overtook you. It woke you up enough to start screaming and squirming around in Suho’s embrace, but his grip on you was firm.

“Breathe, you’re alright, it wasn’t so bad.”

  You were a bit dazed, unconsciously snuggling against Suho. The black veins had appeared on your face momentarily while you screamed but were now fading away. Suho kept you in his arms for a while before getting up and carrying you over to get you out of those wet clothes. You were still out of it as he dressed you, but weren’t any trouble for him.

“I know you may get upset as your memories return, but I need you sweetheart.” He kissed your head when he finished, having put you in that red dress. “We’re going to change the world together.”

[fericita-s]

This Will All Make Sense When I am Older

‘Twas the night before the wedding and all through the land, people were giving advice to Agnarr and Iduna.  It was getting out of hand.

Thanks for the beta-ing @the-spastic-fantastic! Again,the, absence, of, too, many, commas, is, thanks, to, her and also the snappy dialogue.  Part of our canon-comlpiant series When All is Lost about Iduna and Agnarr.

***

Henrik puffed on his pipe, relishing the taste as well as Agnarr’s discomfort with the topic at hand.  The wedding was tomorrow and Henrik, as his most experienced friend in the ways of wooing women, felt it was his duty to impart his hard-earned wisdom for the good of the kingdom.  Practical wisdom, in the form of an offer to visit some ladies who would be willing, when paid, to provide some hands on experience.

“No, Henrik! No! That’s - that’s just a crazy thing for a king to do at all, and even crazier for a groom to do the night before his wedding!” Agnarr shook his head vehemently, his ears turning red and his pulse quickening.

“Well if you won’t do that, then at least listen, my friend.  I know you want to please Iduna and give the kingdom several heirs – “

At Agnarr’s terrified  look, Elias interjected. “You’re scaring him! Stop.” Elias stood and tried to change the topic by setting up the chess board.  Henrik waved a dismissive hand at his friend.

“Look, I’ve been with a lot of women and they all really want one thing.  To be cherished. So you have to be sure she feels cherished.”

Agnarr placed the pawns on the board, then the rooks, knights, and bishops and gave a soft laugh. “And how was I supposed to learn that from your ladies of the night?”

“Listen, I didn’t say it had to be sincere or eternal, I just said they have to believe it. So whatever you’re feeling, you just have to be sure she feels loved.”  Henrik leaned back in his chair and crossed his ankle over his knee, pleased to have offered such helpful words, convinced he had done a service to his kingdom and king.

“You sound like my father,” Agnarr groaned.  “Conceal, don’t feel.  Though he was speaking about how to handle emotion during a council meeting, not how to woo women.  I think.”  He made a face.  “I hope.”

Elias, setting up the kings and queens, offered “Ag, don’t listen to him. Sincerity is the best thing you can offer and, lucky for you, you are marrying a woman you already cherish. And she knows it.  Remember the velocipede you absolutely didn’t buy so you could ride it with her? And the time you almost trampled the entire market square with a herd of reindeer for her? For heaven’s sake, we’ve called you her puppy for years.  She knows you love her. You don’t have to worry on that account.”

Agnarr smiled, remembering. What a relief to be on this side of their courtship, their feelings for one another confirmed, their promises of a lifetime commitment to one another merely hours away. But then he frowned, catching the implication of Elias’ words. “Is there another “account” I should be worried about?”

Henrik, hoping to be useful again, straightened up in his seat. “You’ll be fine.  Just pay lots of attention to her feet.”

Elias laughed and Agnarr looked alarmed.

“Her…feet?” Agnarr thought that while Iduna’s feet were lovely, there were other parts of her to which he would like to pay particular attention.

Henrik nodded, and then looked at Elias as he said “And I was just trying to take the pressure off.  Of course I know how much Ag loves her.  The whole kingdom does.  Really makes it hard for the rest of us mortal men here to compare.”

Elias interjected before Henrik could continue. “No, Ag, having their feet kissed is not something all women want.  Just listen to her and you’ll learn together.”

Agnarr nodded, another question in his mind. “And how will we learn this exactly? I was so bad at kissing her at first, I knocked her in the forehead and then almost bit her,” he blushed at the memory.  “It was not my finest moment.”

Henrik groaned. “The kingdom is doomed! There will be a succession crisis! They’ll be childless! He’ll never figure it out!”

Elias playfully shoved Henrik, who continued to smoke his pipe, unbothered.  “Think about it this way, Ag.  You and Iduna have gone on lots of adventures together.  Explored new places, trusted each other in scary moments, laughed at the ridiculous and at nothing at all. This is just one more thing.  A great thing, to be sure, but one that you’re both in, together.  She wants this and you want this. Just be patient. It might take time, but it will be wonderful.” Elias raised a finger to silence Henrik as he raised an inquisitive eyebrow.  “And if anyone reads into that anything about my lovely fiancé, I want to remind them that we are completely pure and blameless and I would do nothing to besmirch my honor or hers.  And that my swordsmanship is better than either of yours.”

“And if it’s not wonderful, I have some very helpful charts I can show you, Ag.” Henrik leaned forward, and seemed to reach for his back pocket.  “And some manuals from Paris.”

“No! No thank you.  I think…we’ll be fine,” Agnarr half-heartedly looked at the chess pieces set up and moved a pawn. Three spaces.  Elias moved it back to the start.

“Maybe you should practice buttons.  Do kings even dress themselves? Do you even know how to undo buttons or has your valet always done that for you?” Henrik seemed to genuinely be wondering, and began buttoning his coat, perhaps to have Agnarr practice on it.

“Henrik! I do manage to undo the fastenings to use the water closet.” Agnarr managed a true laugh, and his nervousness began to recede.

“Well those are your trousers. Have you thought of practicing on women’s clothes? I’m sure the gown she’s wearing will be very complicated. Maybe we should go find it and have you take a turn undoing the buttons.  We could time you! A contest!”

Elias put his arm around Agnarr. “I don’t know what’s in that pipe, but he’s not making any sense.  Of course you can do buttons.  Of course you will know how to love your wife, and you don’t need any more advice from us or from anyone.”

Agnarr stood up, unable to concentrate on the game, and needing a moment alone.  “I’m going to head to the kitchen and get us some food.  That will be sure to sober Henrik up and get this game going.”

***

Don't Let Them In, Don't Let Them See

Greet, Maddie and Iduna sat cross-legged on the giant bed, eating chocolates and sharing sips of mulled wine.  Iduna had asked her friends to spend the night in the castle, a final chance to be roommates and act silly and eat a ridiculous amount of chocolate before Iduna's life would start to look very different.  

Maddie and her partner Ingrid would still be making regular deliveries of dry goods to the castle, and those could turn into visits.  But Henrik was often traveling and Elias kept hoping to travel, and who knew what Greet would be up to in another week or month or year. The wedding marked a change not just in her status, but in the lives of her friends and their ability to see each other as often as they had.

She didn't know exactly what to expect from royal duties, but Agnarr assured her there was plenty of time to learn, and that the kingdom was so thrilled to gain a queen that they wouldn't mind if she was a different type of queen than had been seen before.  Besides, after her traditional medicinal knowledge and skills in curing the Rock Pox, some citizens thought she had magical powers, and who wouldn't love a magical queen? Even one who occasionally forgot the seven different types of customary greetings for Arendellian holidays? Or didn't know how to stand when reviewing the troops?

 And really, her official duties would be minimal. She could continue overseeing the gardens and turning their harvest into medicinal stores, joining the council with the official title of Queen rather than as Royal Apothecary, an honorary title she had been awarded for her service in stopping the epidemic.  Agnarr had also mentioned something about writing and receiving royal correspondences..  

Maddie and Greet, however, were trying to explain to Iduna how they thought she should go about performing one particular royal duty.  

"The first time is just always terrible.  It's uncomfortable, if not painful." Greet shrugged and Maddie laughed.  Iduna grabbed the chocolates from her, hoping that would change the course of the conversation. 

Greet continued, undeterred.  "But it feels so powerful to make a man do that. And it will get better. Be sure to use the chamber pot right after, that way you won't get pregnant." 

Iduna had started off annoyed and now was truly horrified. "Greet! That's not about preventing pregnancy, that's about preventing infection! Tell me you drink that tea I make you, every time.  Please?" Was Greet truly so incautious? 

Maddie rolled her eyes. "Listen, neither of you will know what to do at first, and it's fine to just...figure it out on your own.  Without him."

Iduna felt her entire face heat up, and took a long sip of wine to cover her discomfort. She invited her friends here for a fun evening, perhaps telling stories of days gone past -  The Lutefisk Incident, the velocipede fiasco, the time they all got locked out of the boarding house while it was snowing, Greet’s shoe polish prank on Henrik. She did not want to talk about her wifely duties with her friends, especially as it was becoming increasingly clear they didn't know anything more than she did. Couldn’t they just try on veils and practice walking in the shoes they had to wear tomorrow?

"Move your hands a lot, they love that," Greet took a pillow and imitated an amorous embrace, kissing noises and all. 

Maddie grabbed the pillow and hit her with it. "Tell him what you want him to do." 

Greet rubbed her head, pouting at Maddie. "And moan, it makes them think they're doing a good job.  You have to be at least a little encouraging. And listen for his moans, to figure out what he likes."

Iduna thought of their stolen moments in the library and how she already had a pretty good idea of what Agnarr liked, and flushed more deeply at the thought.

"He's the king but he'll want you to boss him around."

"But address him as Your Majesty. Give a curtsy before you start." Maddie laughed as the said it, imitating a curtsy from her position on the bed.

"Do you think he'll wear his crown?!" Greet screamed.

Maddie and Greet collapsed into laughter, and Iduna got off the bed, pulling her robe around her. "I'm going to the kitchen to get more chocolate, and when I get back we are not talking about this again. Ever."  Their laughter followed her as she made her way down the dimly lit corridor and towards the welcoming warmth of the kitchens.  

When she arrived, she found Agnarr there, sitting on the table she used to prepare plants and herbs for tinctures and teas.

***

Ready to Succumb

 He was holding a loaf of bread and an apple, looking at them with a bewildered expression, and didn’t notice her walking into the room.

“Agnarr! What are you doing down here?” She reached out a hand to touch his arm, but felt suddenly shy and made an awkward wave instead.

Agnarr looked up, saw her, and answered with a bashful smile. “I told Henrik and Elias I would get us some food, but really I needed some time away from them.”

Iduna lifted herself onto the table and sat next to him, thigh pressed against thigh, her arm against his. It felt too close, so she moved a breadth away. She took the apple out of his hand, set it down next to her, and held his hand, wanting some measure of closeness.

“I needed some time away from Maddie and Greet too.”  Talking to him was helping the awkwardness she felt leave, like rinsing dirt from her hands after time in the garden.  She tried to drive Maddie and Greet’s words from her head so they wouldn’t infringe upon this moment. She laid her head on his shoulder. “I know they mean well, but I did not want to hear their advice.”

“Oh? What were they counseling you about?” Agnarr set down the load of bread, and reached up to stroke her face.  It was easier sitting next to her than facing her.  He could still hear Henrik’s words in his head, making his face heat up in an uncomfortable way, and he didn’t want her to see the discomfort on his face.

Iduna gave a small laugh. “They were trying to tell me how to handle our marital relations.” As soon as she said it, she felt shy again. What if he was bothered by her talking to their friends about it?

Agnarr sighed and put his hand back in his lap. It was too difficult to touch her face and admit what Henrik had been saying to him. “Henrik was offering some unhelpful – and unsolicited – advice on the topic as well. I can not emphasize how unsolicited, just in case you hear any crazy stories from the staff.”

They sat in silence for a moment, unsure of what to say next, each wanting to assure the other that everything would be fine, that tomorrow’s wedding and wedding night would be wonderful, but both feeling too nervous about it to make such a declaration.

Agnarr tried to lighten the mood with a joke. “At least we no longer have the royal tradition of a bedding ceremony. In my great-grandfather’s day, at least six men had to witness the groom taking his wife to bed.” Iduna squeezed his hand and laughed, a small terrified squeak. “We just have to settle for our friends interfering beforehand. They’ll leave us alone tomorrow night.”

Iduna continuing holding his hand in silence and the air around them seem to calm. The longer they held hands, the easier it was to sit there, alone, and forget that there were others in the castle. No wedding guests, no well-intentioned friends, no foreign dignitaries and diplomats.  It was just the two of them, a new family as of tomorrow, and a pair of friends since they had been fourteen.

Iduna pulled her head off of his shoulder so she could see him, suddenly needed to see his eyes, suddenly braver and calm. “I think we’ll be just fine tomorrow. I know I’m eager to know you fully and to share one more thing with you.”

Agnarr again cupped her cheek and said “And I as well.” He leaned forward and kissed her gently, lips against lips, and he could feel her smile into it. He broke away. “Remember our first kiss? How I knocked you in the head?”

She laughed and rubbed the spot, a phantom memory that was more pleasing than painful.

“We might have more awkward moments like that, tomorrow and even beyond.  But Sunny, there is no one I would rather share all of my moments with than you.”  He leaned forward to kiss her again, and he felt her smile, the sun, her warmth.  It was a good thing tomorrow was only hours away.

[fortunatelycooltrash]

So people love to say that America doesn’t have free healthcare because the quality would sink and the waits would go up. Now, while those are valid worries despite being no excuse for the atrociously high prices of even minior procedures, I’d like to share some bullshit that I’ve experienced involving normal US hospitals and medical branches alike.

My root canal is going to cost 2500 dollars because it is not covered by most dental plans despite it being a completely necessary procedure that directly affects my health. Absorb that then absorb the fact this plan covers some of braces. The crown alone is costing over 1200.

I almost died in a hospital waiting room because my ‘stomach ache’ that was causing me so much pain I was sick with it wasn’t severe enough to qualify for immediate attention. Undiagnosed Appendicitis.

My nephew and sister almost met their end because an incompetent doctor misdiagnosed my sister with a URI. She had type A flu.

My cousins father had a doctor who refused to diagnose him despite him coming back constantly because of lethargy. Said he couldn’t find anything wrong. Her father was poor and had really bad insurance. Finally he went to another doctor and was diagnosed with kidney cancer. He could have lived if he had been diagnosed a year or two prior before it spead but by the time he got his diagnosis, it was too late. He died, I believe, a few months later but I was young so he might have made it a year or longer.

I suffered from chronic nosebleeds as a child to the point that blood didn’t even scare me anymore. The doctor told my mother that it was coming from wounds inside my nose and I was most likely picking at it and there was nothing medically wrong with me. My mother, knowing even as a child I knew not to waste her money, took me to another doctor. Severe Anemia. Still suffer from it too this day. Have to take those horrid tasting red pills🤢.

My aunt constantly butchering her budget because she needs her insulin and it’s cost keeps getting higher despite it remaining relatively the same. Luckily my state is looking to cap it at 100 though if that will actually go into effect isn’t determined yet.

My mom, bless her, repeatedly going in for her back aching only to be told pain was normal for someone of her weight and age. Nope, she is a nurse and turned people that were 300 pounds or more. She had completely blown her back and had a pinched nerve that was so severe she could barely stand without pain. The doctor that diagnosed her was surprised she could even walk.

My sister, having a grand mal seizure in the nurses office of a high school. They told her to stop faking. That bitch wasn’t even a real nurse so this one doesn’t count but I had to mention this because why the fuck wasn’t a registered nurse hired?

My (other) aunt having minor chest pain then suffering a heart attack in the waiting room because they had her wait so long since she didn’t seem serious. I’m sure that’s going to have lasting damage that could have been easily prevented.

My sister giving birth and getting a 28,000 dollar bill for a room and care for her and the baby. She was there for a day and a half. She didn’t even have a long or complicated delivery.

My mother being told she was completely fine to continue working despite having an off feeling about her third pregnancy(about 24 years ago) the doctor told her there were no complications and she could go on as normal. She miscarried her seven month along daughter three days later because her placenta was underneath the baby and tore. That doctor is still in practice.

The nurses in my mothers delivery room ignoring both her and the monitor. Which, if they had been looking at, clearly desplayed my older brother with his umbilical core wrapped tight around his neck. He lived because my moms main doctor walked in and had a conniption fit when he noticed the vitals dropping. He’s the doc my sis uses now. A good man.

(Same bro)My older brother turning blue everytime he cried being brushed off. Hole in his heart that has since closed.

When I was younger, I slipped in the shower and hit my head so hard against the metal lining of it(stall shower) that the skin split open and abscessed. My doc treated the abscess but did no further testing after a 4 hour wait. As we were leaving, I don’t remember much of this week my mom told me, I vomited and passed out in the parking lot. Had a concussion.

My brother being misdiagnosed with the flu, strep, and a few other things over the course of a few weeks before one doctor finally tested him for HIV. It was positive. Luckily he only had one partner. Unluckily, the partner was the one that gave it to him via cheating on him.

Me, almost dying of a violent case of strep throat because they said I had a sinus infection. My fever peaked at 104 then, blessedly, broke. I do not remember this as the memories of the days I was sick are incredibly fever burned but I remember wrapping blankets around me because I was so cold.

The strep attacked so quick and harshly that if I had lived alone it probably would have killed me since I wouldn’t have been able to get help and I would’ve kept trying to get ‘warmer’ and helped raise my temp over 106. You typically don’t come back from that one unharmed. If at all.

My older bro(cord baby) being told suffering from auditory hallucinations was a common thing(not wrong but they should have actually asked about his family history and idk, did more??) he had undiagnosed bipolar disorder. He is medicated and much happier now.

Me breaking my gotdamn pointer knuckle and the x-ray person getting blurry x-rays that she used despite the fact that they weren’t accurate. Thank you bitch, now my abnormally short pointer finger clicks because it began to set wrong.

Theres a few more but I’m currently giving my bro a hard time for texting me a text meant for his bf so imma bounce for now. May add more later. The whole point to this was to show people that don’t want free health care because the ‘quality would go down’ or the ‘wait would be too long’ that the wait is already long enough for you to die anyway and the quality already sucks ass if you’re poor because they will not diagnose you correctly.

Or They will misdiagnose you then blame YOU when you sue(happened to my mom in that miscarriage one but because he hadn’t wrote a release back to work she had no actual proof he’d told her she could.)

Or They will overcharge you for things that have a far cheaper value simply because they can and you can’t do anything about it because you need that procedure or medicine to keep your health good.

I can understand things like heart surgery or transplants, you know, the big major stuff not being free because yeah that shit takes a fuck ton of resources and care so I get it, I do. I can reasonably say “Yup that should cost thousands.” I mean, I’m don’t even avocate for fully FREE healthcare, I just want a limit on their overpricing bull shit to where it matches with economic standards.

You can’t expect someone with an average 7-4 job that pays 10/hr(oooh ya, y’all think I’d go higher? Guess what, young people starting out their careers also get sick!) to drop thousands upon thousands of dollars for whatever. The sad thing is I can say ‘whatever’ and you can actually think of multiple things that aren’t that major or that resource draining yet still cost thousands.

Even someone making 15/hour couldn’t do that and I’d be hard pressed to say even 20-25/hr could do that. They may have it better and be able to pay it off faster but they’d still be in debt for a while or have to work years after their planned retirement to make up for the lost savings if they were lucky enough to have them.

I’ve also heard people complaining about it raising taxes but you’ll spend way more getting something done at a hospital then you’d spend on those taxes in a year.

Besides, if you’re so pissed about taxes then to even it out protest the stupid taxes. Your house? Taxed. Your inheritance that you gain but also leave behind to care for your family? Taxed. Your property that you bought 100% full price paid? Taxed every year. Your car? Taxed.

How bout getting pissed about those instead of getting pissy about people getting their health fixed? There are plenty of ridiculous taxes so I don’t know why people are so against having one that actually helps people.

Sorry for this rant, I know it’s not centered around my profile theme but I am majorly pissed off that I’m about to have to let a tooth rot out of my head because my insurance decided that: covering something cosmetic like braces? Yeah! Covering a completely necessary surgery that can actually harm/kill the person via infection if left untreated? Nope, that costs us more!

I can’t drop two fucking grand on dental surgery. It’s just not happening. I don’t know anyone who can do that shit. Anyone who gets pissed off about me posting this: go slam a hammer against your tooth until it cracks down the middle, exposing your nerve to the harsh unforgiving world then let it develop a cavity around it.

Afterwards, try to eat literally anything: hot, cold, hard, soft, it doesn’t matter. You’ll cry, I promise. Now imagine being told the only way to fix that is to cough up over two grand and if you can’t well then oh fucking well? Kinda hurts ya a bit. Not nearly as much as the tooth but still.

Hell, I know dental probably wouldnt even get covered if they made healthcare reduced or free but this whole situation has reminded me just how fucked you are if you get anything remotely wrong with you in the U.S

[omfgtrump]

Tale of Two Viruses: Part 29

Can you imagine knowing there is something in the air that can kill people and not being truthful about it? 

The idea that The Don didn’t understand the dangerousness of the virus was always ridiculous, but something his apologists promulgated. Remember that first news conference when he spoke about the 15 cases and how most of the infected were recovered and…well, that’s that?

Now we have tapes from Bob Woodward’s 18 interviews with The Don which are part of his new book “Rage.”

“It goes through the air. That’s always tougher than the touch. You don’t have to touch things. Right? But the air, you just breathe the air and that’s how it’s passed. And so that’s a very tricky one. That’s a very delicate one. It’s also more deadly than even your strenuous flus,” Trump told Woodward on Feb. 7

“This is 5 percent versus 1 percent, or less than 1 percent.” (Referring to what was then thought to be percentage of people who would die.)

 On March 7th, The Don had this to say to Woodward: “Just today and yesterday, some startling facts came out. It’s not just old, older. Young people too, plenty of young people.”

“I wanted to always play it down. I still like playing it down because I don’t want to create a panic.”

Does it enrage you that the man leading this country decided to “play it down,” because he was trying to prevent panic? That’s like not telling someone, with his back turned, that a car is hurtling towards them because you don’t want them to freak out. If you don’t know what hit you, no biggie.

 The Don’s deadly spin on why he down-played the seriousness of the virus is another example of how warped and dangerous he is.

Explain that malignant reasoning to the grandmother you lost, the father, the daughter, your close friend. Tell that to the policeman, the meatpacking plant worker, the sanitation and MTA workers. Tell that to former presidential candidate Herman Cain.

The reason The Don didn’t tell the American people is because he is a deeply disturbed man who has no consideration for anyone else but himself. We have witnessed time and time again his construction of altered realities that he serves up to support the grandiose narrative he tells about himself. If he doesn’t like the facts presented, he spins them to his liking.  

The reason The Don did not tell the public about the seriousness of the virus is because he did not want to ruin his own narrative of how great a president he is. Remember, with The Don, everything is about him; the presence of a virus was like bringing a disruptive guest to your party. How dare they show up and spoil the beautiful spread (the stock market)? What nerve.

Now that we have nearly two hundred thousand deaths, with no end in sight (Canada just reported no deaths in the entire country!), The Don continues to to play it down, acting as if it is a thing of the past. Political rallies of thousands with no social distancing and few masks. Urging schools to open without any federal financial assistance and no coordinated plan. The man continues to promote things that will spread the virus and cause more deaths.

In Woodward’s book, we also get treated to The Don’s smugness about helping the Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia cover up the murder of a Washington Post journalist, just as we watch in real time The Don’s disinterest in the poisoning of the opposition leader in Russia.

We also get to hear how tickled he was to be with Kim Jung-un, and be the first to make him smile.

And how disturbed is this country, that with an out of control pandemic raging, he could win re-election?  

And how disturbed is this country that a man who loves autocrats that have no value for human life can win re-election? Here is a quote from one of Woodward’s tapes:

“I can tell you the relationships I have, the tougher and meaner they are, the better I get along with them. ‘The easy ones’ I don’t like as much or don’t get along with as much.” Now those are words we want to hear from a president.   

And how disturbing is it a president who claims climate change is a hoax and waits days before barely mentioning that the wildfires in the West are claiming lives, destroying properties and ruining lives in a manner never seen before; a man who believes if people in the West were just better sweepers none of this would happen.

Finally,when he begrudgingly makes an appearance to meet with officials the “Very Stable Genius” says”

“When trees fall down after a short period of time, they become very dry — really like a matchstick,” Mr. Trump said. “And they can explode. Also leaves. When you have dried leaves on the ground, it’s just fuel for the fires.”

Then he went on to say:

 “It’ll start getting cooler,” he insisted. “You just watch.”

“I wish science agreed with you,” Mr. Crowfoot replied.

“Well, I don’t think science knows, actually.”

Yes, it will magically get cooler, just like the virus will magically disappear.

Are you enraged that Republicans stand by watching a man destroy lives and bring the country to its knees?

I don’t know about you but I am enraged at Bob Woodward, the world famous Washington Post journalist whose book on Watergate helped bring Nixon down. I am enraged at him as he had a tape of The Don stating he knew how serious this all was and that he was playing it down, knowing that people would die. Some disagree with me, but I feel Woodward should have released that tape to the public as it is irrefutable proof of The Don’s willing complicity with a genocide of neglect. Blood on your hands, Mr.Woodward.

My rage is at Mr. Praying Mad Dog Mattis for thinking that praying at church was the proper response to his fear about The Don causing a nuclear catastrophe. During Nixon’s waning days in office he was becoming more and more unstable. As a result, Defense Secretary James Schlesinger issued an unprecedented set of orders: If the president gave any nuclear launch order, military commanders should check with either him or Secretary of State Henry Kissinger before executing them. And Mad dog, you went to church? For all your bravery Mr. Mad Dog, you abandon your country when it needed you most. It’s disgraceful.

And there are so many others for some inexplicable reason have abandon their moral posts and allowed this man to do what he has done.

People we’ve got to vote this evil and dangerous man out of office!

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[phantomphangphucker]

A King For Tonight’s Fentertainment - Chap. 4: With Fashion He Shows His Passion

Summary:  Danny's shown them part of who he is, he's told them part of who he is, his Knight is practically shouting it at them. So why's it so hard for them to believe that he's a king and that he cares?

Danny nods and jumps away, cape slashing through the air dramatically, from the group of humans some. Quickly being followed by the Fright Knight, who also flares his cape dramatically, before standing to the side and behind Danny; Nightmare coming up behind the Fright Knight. Danny turns to face the group of humans, with a shit-eating grin, “yeah I’m the damn Ghost King. Which, since I still think you’re missing this, means king of ghosts”.

Dash can’t help but snap, staring at the weird-ass kid legit looking like a king with his knight flanking him, “well no shit Fentuns 'o fun, still don’t buy you being any kind of king. Or having any kind of authority over any kingdom”.

Red adds in, “especially a ghost one”.

Danny tilts his head to the side and groans, muttering to himself, “fucking humans. For Phantom's sake”.

“You know sire, most kings don’t use their own name as a swear”, Danny just snorts and chuckles at the Fright Knights comment. Danny looks back to the humans and shakes his head as the Fright Knight addresses them, “you misunderstand his highness. It goes back to what the young king said previously. “the” And “a” do not carry the same gravity or prestige”.

Dash mutters, “the fuck does that mean”.

While Danny nods, speaking again, “I am The Ghost King, not just a ghost king”. Danny stretches his arms over his head and clasps his hands behind his head, making the cape bunch up around his neck, the flames curling together and blazing erratically. Danny smirks, “A king means someone who rules a kingdom. A community, selection, bunch, collection of people or species. The king means someone who rules the entirety of a species”.

Nightmare stomps a hoof on the ground and snorts. While the Fright Knight nods, speaking, “in layman’s terms, ghost ruling titles are based on where they rule. A ghost queen of the Terabina kingdom would be called the Terabina Queen. His majesty’s title is The Ghost King, because his kingdom encompasses the whole of the Ghost Realm. Simply stated, he rules all ghosts and every single existing ghost bends to his command”. Danny nods and gives a goofy smile, aiming to soften the blow and not have his humans blow up at him.

Unsurprisingly, one of the agents is the first to speak up. Agent G snaps, swinging an arm around wildly, “but he’s a human! A child human at that! A, clearly, horribly ghostly indoctrinated one but all the same!”.

“That matters not, it was his by right. He simply had to claim it”, the Fright Knight turns to Danny, “even if it took many moons for his highness to claim his throne”. The Fright Knight flicks his gaze back to the agent and bellows, “AND TAINTED HIS MIND IS NOT. HE IS SIMPLY FREE FROM FAULTY UNDERSTANDINGS OF EITHER OF THE TWO GREAT REALMS. SOMETHING THAT THE LIKES OF YOU HAVE CLEARLY NOT BEEN GRACED WITH SO”.

Danny shrugs, cape bunching up around his neck again, “what he said, and ask anyone, teens don’t exactly jump at the chance for responsibilities ...or life complications, for that matter”, smirking, “but all the same, it’s my place and a grand one it is. I’d take no other in my place”.

Fright Knight nods strongly, “nor would I. You are plenty fair and are one of few humans lacking biases. Regardless of your blood, you regard your subjects with affections and true thought”.

Danny can’t help but blush at the praise, “it’s what’s right, nothing more. Who I am has never been one to hate unjustly or universally”.

“You are far too humble, your highness. You care, and that’s more than the kings of old”. Danny kind of hates how true the Fright Knights statement is, most ghost kings were less than kind or good.

Maddie jumps in, “our boy is just protecting his town and the people here! He is not doing anything for you filthy creatures!”.

Both Danny and the Fright Knight shake their heads, but Danny does so with a sigh; grumbling all the while, “this is just fucking dandy, perfectly peachy. Ancients end me”, before turning his head to look directly at Maddie, “you’re wrong, mom”.

Maddie stares at him before shaking her head, choosing to ignore her son in favour of insulting and chewing out the, adult, ghost, “and how dare you lay claim to my son! By placing some ghost title on him and binding him to your emotionless dimension!”. Danny tilts his head back, “it’s more of a Zone and it’s called a Realm...officially anyway”. Danny’s not even sure she heard him as Maddie just continues ranting.

Danny gets an unpleasant reminder of the GIW presence when agent L snaps, “you freaks must be using the boy for access to our world!”.

The Fright Knight scoffs, “hardly, we need no human for access to your living Human Realm”, turning to Maddie as Nightmare, much to Danny’s amusement, kicks agent L, “he was neither binded nor demanded his royal grandeur. As I have already made apparent, his lordship claimed his title. There was no force of hand and none would dare partake in such actions when dealing with anyone of whom hand and head be worthy of the Ghost Realms infinite depths of power”.

Red shakes her head and pointedly avoids the Fright Knight as she moves to stand next to Danny. Danny watches as she rubs a bit of the cape in her fingers, clearly avoiding the flames though. Red looks up from the cape to Danny’s watchful face, while he smiles softly at her, “batshit crazy huh?”. Red squints at him, “that’s an understatement Danny. What the fuck? How can a human? How do you have this? This claim or whatever?”.

Dash storms up a bit, “better question Fen-tertainment Tonight, if you’re this damn big shot Ghost King then why the hell don’t you just order all these ghosts to fuck off?”. Dash’s question causes both agents and Maddie to stop their verbal tirades, looking to Danny.

Maddie scrunching up her eyebrows some before nodding at Danny, “yes, yes you should be able to do that. It still makes no sense and no filthy dimension of post-human consciousness should be infesting my boy with its ectofilth. But you, you could use this couldn’t you?”.

Danny rubs his neck awkwardly, “seriously, just say Zone or Realm”, before putting his hands up, motioning for them to quiet down. Sighing, “can and will aren’t the same. Could and should. Not gonna do that. By ‘that’ I mean the whole telling the ghosties to fuck off. It’s not my fault if Dashie can’t handle his days being made a bit spooktacular. That’s whatcha get for living in a partly unliving town. A town full of a fantasma of ectoplasma”, Danny internally groans at the slight glare from Maddie. Tilting his head back and groaning exaggeratedly, “mom, sure the ghosties make living here, interesting, but it’s hardly some immediate issue. Plus, it’s part of Amity’s charm”, Danny jabs a finger at the two agents, “if anything, the colour white makes for a hell of a lot more black and blue. Because they’re twats. Ghost hating, uninformed, backwards, unworldly, benighted, white suit scum. I may be in league with the dead, but those fucksticks are dead from the neck up”.

Danny talks to Red right over the GIW agents grumblings, “and the fuck is right. Quite the thing to be walking along, doin my own freak shit”, glancing at Dash, “I’ll take freaks over teddy bears any day”. Looking back to Red, “then what do I hear? What caresses and tickles my ears? Ghostly asses muttering about my kingliness”, tapping his chin, “well princeliness at the time”, shrugging, “that shit threw me through a loop more blazingly hard to fathom than my crown that alights my head with its flames”.

“Wait, you mean you weren’t even told? You just...overheard shit? And then decided, fuck it, and just went all Ghost King?”, Red’s jaw drops as Danny nods. While agent L snaps, “no human should be a ghost prince or king! You must be infected by some ghostly thing! You-”.

Danny cuts the guy off by snapping, “y’all are just pissy I’m all enlightened and shit. That I know and have access to what you don’t. That, when it comes to ghosts, I have real sway and say. That I can make real plays and forays. That I have the ability to easily slay and flay ghostly ass”.

Mr. Lancer mutters, “why does he not show this kind of rhyming and wordplay in class?”. Danny, having easily heard him, “cause it’s not funny using it in class. Right now, it’s fucking hilarious”. Danny points at the fuming agents, “anything that pisses them off is side-splitting”. While Red pokes at him, shaking her head, “how does a human even claim a ghost throne?!? How does one even be able to be able to claim it?”.

“Uh, ask nicely?”, Danny shrugs, “but really, sit on the throne you have claim over. Bare the weight of your crown and open yourself up to the power it all grants you”. Danny lifts up his hand and flicks the Ring of Suffering, “in The Ghost King case, wield the pain and embodiment, or whatever, of your life’s defining unpleasant shit. A defining feature of your life that you do or gotta overcome, but will always be a thing in whatever bullshit existence you happen to have”.

Maddie stutters, “p-pain? Unpleasant? Danny, what do you mean? This hurts you?”, Maddie shakes her head, “that doesn’t even explain how you have a claim, ghost prince? How? Why? The living shouldn’t have such a title”.

Nightmare snorts, leaning their head almost protectively overtop of Danny’s. While the Fright Knight claps Danny on the shoulder, “might is a burden, and his grace’s might is grandiose. Any title of the royals is one carrying might, and power granted always has its draws”.

Danny nods and points at his ring, “represents a large aspect of my existence that I must be better than. Deal with like a colossal champ. Overwhelmingly overcome. Be a spectral survivor of whatever bullshit. Sooo. Unpleasant, displeasing, irksome, troublesome, annoying; kinda all part of the duty. This is the Ring of Suffering after all. Kinda means I suffer a lot in my existence and will continue to”. Multiple people instantly turn to glare at Dash, and Danny’s not about to correct the aim of their blame.

“You bare it grandly, as is expected from one of such excellency. Pariah’s ill-handling of his rage only exemplifies your true right to rule”, the Fright Knight turns to Red, “his great lordship was the one in line to take the crown. Such was he at the fall of the ensnared mad king. One of whom even thousand years of cursed sleep could not make capable of quelling his unpleasantry that was his rage and wrath. The battered deranged one held his place as The Ghost King no more. So as such, the right to rule was granted true to a young merciful one. His state of living being inconsequential. His splendours grant him worthy of his dignitaries, for he is a luminary one”. Danny mutters, “you are way too much of a knight. Are you trying to bury me in wordy praises?���.

Red smirks, a bit uncomfortably, at Danny, “this is starting to sound like a religion”. Danny chuckles, “he likes embellishing his words. Pretty sure it makes him feel all high and mighty or some shit”.

“One of my standing should sound as such”, the Fright Knight nods curtly to emphasise his statement. Earning a smirk from Danny, “oh? And what of the one above you, my frightful knight?”. Red can’t help but snort as the Fright Knight stiffens some, “you, my liege, by you’re reverence alone make any words spoken suiting”.

Danny laughs, patting the Fright Knight on the back almost aggressively, “nice save, Frightmare”. Danny grumbles to himself, “now to save all these idiots...and two extra idiots who need to be drowned in pomegranate juice, red wine, blood, and tomato sauce”.

While Red grimaces, “that would smell awful”.

Danny glances around, catching Dash pretty well tearing his hair out over Danny being royalty. GIW throwing insults at ghosts but mostly at Danny, with Maddie snapping back at them with almost concerning levels of aggression. Mr. Lancer and a few other teachers look like they’re gonna cry from the lack of order. Danny turns his head skyward, grumbling, “I really should get everyone out of here before something stupid happens. Which I’m sure it will anyway”.

“Well that’s pessimistic”, Red shoves him before muttering near his ear, cringing a little as his capes collars cold flames dance over her shoulder slightly, “the only reason I’m not de-suiting is your mom, you know. Well, that and everyone’s attention on you is saving me from twenty-one questions”.

Danny makes a pouty face, grumbling, “glad my suffering could be helpful...but you know what you could do in return?”. Red instantly frowns, slightly nervous about what the strange highly unpredictable, and apparently royal, boy might request. Danny smirks as he continues, “you cool your shit. Chill out with the ghost hating. Put the biases on ice. At least give the ones who ain’t causing a problem the cold shoulder instead of going all blazing fire and fury on ‘em. I don’t expect you to not be frosty to the ghosties through”. Danny runs a hand through the flames, patting at them before looking back to Red, a bit bashfully. Flicking his eyes upward, “they are my subjects after all. Kinda hard for me to not find the whole, mass ghost hating and destroy everything ectoplasmic, mind set...you know, bad. As much as my aliveness might still be a thing, and my unlivedness”, chuckling, “I mean, inexperience, as a king might be a thing. You being all Miss destructo murdersuit, isn’t really over lookable if something funky happened. Monkeys or no monkeys”.

“That...that was a really weird way to ask me to play nice, well nicer. And monkeys?”, Red shakes her head, “I mean I guess”, Red chuckles and punches Danny’s shoulder playfully, “you have to treat them all kind and shit, so if Mr. Ran away from all ghosts, can tolerate the non-aggressors I can too”.

Danny smirks as he swirls his fingers in the air, making a portal and pulling through an apple. Taking a bite of it before speaking, “funky alone is just weird, but funky monkey is just plain crazy”, swallowing harshly, “and I’d like to think so. Not every hunter here has drowned their clothing in enough bleach to fry all their brain cells, after all. But I don’t have to be kind and I don’t simply tolerate”, shrugging, “okay, some I do just tolerate”, pointing the apple at Red, “I care for, have fondness for, enjoy the company of, find plenty of merriment with, ghosts. My kingdom, dominion or whatever, the Ghost Zone, Ghost Realm. I do care. I do protect it, them; this big clusterfuck that makes for a dead species and world”.

Danny pulls a second apple through the portal before closing it. Whipping the apple at agent G without breaking eye contact with Red, “and the GIW have long made themselves an enemy, trying to blow the whole place up isn’t really something friendly”. Danny smiles while Red gapes at him, “rather not have you as an enemy as well”. Danny mutters under his breath, “or my parents for that matter, but I somehow doubt they’ll really listen to me. I’m just a teen and their kid after all”. Danny knows full well they’ll probably order him to cut it the fuck out. But he won’t, obviously. Danny smirks again, holding up the first, and now half-eaten, apple, “this is a red delicious by the way”. Earning a slug in the shoulder from Red.

The two laugh a bit before both realise they’re being stared at, by pretty well all the humans. Danny sighs, “oh now what? I guess it was high time someone took a piss on my semi pleasant day”.

The Fright Knight leans over, “they’ve been watchful ever since you ever so casually created a small portal, for something so mundane as sustenance”. The Fright Knight isn’t about to add on that his highness clearly did so purely for some jokes, his majesty was a jester of a king after all.

Danny chuckles, “heh”, shrugging, “we really should, you know, go”. With a huff, Danny flops down to sit cross-legged. Hiding his smirk with a hand as multiple people look up and nod, many gulping nervously. But Danny glares at the GIW agents as they look to each other and nod, obviously forming some kind of plan. And their plans were always stupid or just unpleasant. Danny squints at them, annoyed, as they address him, “you’ll be coming with us. Far too ghostly to be allowed uncontained”.

Danny snorts, “no I will not. Go ahead and try though. You couldn’t catch this eldritch ass even if I didn’t fight back or summon my army to brutalise your asses”. Danny points lazily at the men, “I have a good four million super-powered dead fucks at my becking call, or whatever. And that’s just my army, many of my allies have armies of their own. You’d have better chances of catching the swine flu, the Black Plague, and rabies all at once than capturing or arresting me”.

The Fright Knight nods and steps forward, bellowing, “YOU WILL MAKE NO SUCH ACTIONS AGAINST HIS ROYAL PROVIDENCE. SHOULD YOU DISOBEY, IN THE PLACE OF WHICH HIS MAJESTY IS SOVEREIGN, I SHALL TAKE GREAT PLEASURE IN STRIKING FEAR INTO YOUR BEINGS. THE HIGH GHOST KING AS HE MAY BE, IS BEYOND YOUR MORTAL LAWS. YOU AND YOUR KINDS RULE HAVE NO CLAIMS TO HIS HIGHNESS”. The Fright Knight flies quickly to bring his blade directly to the necks of the men, making both shriek, “I suggest that once my liege, in all his merciful splendour, returns you to your realm. That you take your leave and BE GONE”.

Danny gets back up, watching in case things go to grade A shit. While the Fright Knight steps back, sensing the warning in his kings' posture. Only for Maddie to storm over, “I can defend my son perfectly well and better than you, ghost”. Maddie turns on the, still startled, agents, “you dare, DARE, lay a hand on my boy and I will dump so much red wine all over every inch of you that everything white that ever touches you again will instantly be stained pink! Then I will chase you publicly with the Fenton creep stick until you run off to suck your mommies thumbs!”.

The Fright Knight looks back to Danny, pointing at Maddie, “I find myself of like mind with her”. Danny chuckles, relaxing, “so you’re kindred spirits in the name of my defence”. Maddie glares distrustfully at the Fright Knight before returning to giving death glares at the agents.

Agent G snaps, somewhat nervously, “human, underaged and your son regardless; he’s an ectothreat! This can not be allow-”. He gets cut off by loud banging and explosions out in the distance of the vast of the Ghost Zone. While Danny mutters, “no shit I’mma ectothreat, I literally just said that. Like really, kinda obvious at this point. Shit don’t fucking matter though”.

The Fright Knight only looks towards the sounds for a second before walking next to Danny, “that’s right sire, I originally sought you out to inform you of the return to warring between the Xercti nation and Herencotton clans. However, I do find it is highly improbable that this skirmish could become any form of all-encompassing or eradicating in nature. All the same, word of the Far Frozen becoming skittish of their lands being encroached upon isn’t in short supply”.

Danny nods strongly, tapping his chin, “put in a request for ColdStep to move the Frost Blazes land warning marker, to be placed a half moons flight away from the Wrought Crystal Silk Road’s entrance and to the left of the Levina Whistler. As well as placing a watchers talisman on the marker yourself”, Danny snaps his fingers, “oh, and I’ll go light the Defted Lands on fire in a couple days. That ought to avoid them straying their cannon fire too far towards Silfee territory”.

The Fright Knight kneels, bowing deeply, “as you request, my king”, standing back up before bowing again, “you endeavourings fit the flavours of belittlement, brazen comedy and wild absurdity; like always”. Danny chuckles, “yup, and ain’t the Defted lands gonna be ripened to vapour wines shortly. Funny thing that’ll be, anyone still fighting will suddenly find themselves far too drunk to aim”.

The Fright Knight barks a laugh, “most assuredly”. The Fright Knight turns back to face the two agents, “and you, living mortals, regardless of where my presence be, or the presence of my eminence. You shall be cut down for your desired disgracing actions, should you act on them. And, for your given contempt towards the great highness, you will be allotted no mercy should such events come to fruition”.

The Fright Knight only chooses to dignify them with the sight of his glaring for a little longer before returning his attention to his majesty. Swiftly hopping onto Nightmare’s back, “at your graces call I shall always be, my servitude is granted yours keep. Frosted death keep thee and, for thy alone, life’s bite keep thee marked. Till many moons and under you high king sway, High Ghost King”.

Danny tilts his head down slightly, “blazing death keep thee and life’s bite never mark thee. Till lesser moons and under thine oath, High Dread Knight Fright Knight, High Steed Nightmare”.