#like the way they paced that whole encounter was really weird idk. it was so slow that it made the whole thing feel contrived | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

thatnamelessbutler · 3 years ago

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(OoC: So, what's the AU thing about?)

((ooc: Okay so basically I got an idea form a song completely unrelated to the fandom and long story short, Bi n Bu are no longer able to escape from the Egg except through a very specific method, and then Karl comes back along and bippity boppity your body is now our property!

So, yeah. Body-swap AU except Karl kinda dies because to get the swap to work everyone's body had to die. Karl's gets healed afterwards through magical time shenanigans-

So Billiam and Rune(Bu's new name in this AU) wake up in the library, in our current DSMP present, in the weird body of this weird guy who's apparently a weird color-shapeshifter.(yeah, i'm going with the cryptid creature Karl for this one because. it's cool as heck and I never see this anywhere)

a little while after they wake up in the present, karl wakes up after being dormant because he literally died and it's like "HEY WAIT WHAT THE HECK YOU STOLE MY BODY" and everyone else goes "shit shit shit shit"

p.s if you're wondering where hubert is he's dead. the egg killed nearly everyone except billiam and butler because bi is its main caretaker and bu will never leave his side

(more under the cut please there's so much and i actually love this au so much)

Now I'm not a system but I imagine these four(yes, four; Billiam, Rune, Piam(Billiam's Piglin side), and Tune(Bu's Other) operate kind of like one. They have an innerworld and everything, they aren't just all constantly crammed into the front. That would get confusing, stressful and difficult to manage overall. Bu's usually the one fronting because no one else wants to; Billiam doesn't wanna do it because he doesn't wanna mingle with the "poor", Tune doesn't wanna do it because it always gets tripped up with literally everything about the body, it's not even dangerous enough to protect now, and Piam doesn't wanna do it because he's kind of scared of the Overworld someone that doesn't know how to be a Human Person

Oh yeah and I've also talked about all this and more with my bestie so here's a copy-paste of that conversation-

I think an encounter with Sapnap and/or Quackity would go terribly too, until they sit down and explain things as best they can wait no actually "So basically, we killed your fiancée so we could inhabit his body and escape from a really bad situation. sorry" Acid Sapanap would go feral and I can't even begin to conceive what extremely destructive thoughts Quackoty would start having Me MHM Sapnap probably pulls a sword on them and they automatically reach for their own before remembering "Oh shit, we don't have it. OH SHIT-" and then they just gotta r u n Butler's trying desperately to teleport but without a pearl, eeeeeh that's not gonna do anything buddy I'm not sure if Karl has armor in his inventory or not but either way they wouldn't have the time or coordination to equip it Acid they just immediately die it'd be so funny Me "NOT AGAIN, WE JUST GOT FREE- death" Now lets hope either Karl has some extra canon lives, or those lives Billiam bought carry over Acid PFFFFT, BILLIAM'S LIVES GET CARRIED WITH THEM AND IT'S JUST revives ok listen we don't gotta dies revives please let's just dies revives why do you do t dies revives this is just gonna last forever isn't it? dies rev- Me wheeze YEAH "GET OUT OF KARL'S BODY!" "We can't!! It's already been done!! dies" "WHY WON'T YOU DIE!!?" "We are!!??" ohhh, bonus angst points if every time they die, Butler goes a little more dormant- Butler was only meant to have one life, he never got any Totems and his soul cannot take this in the way Billiam's can After about 15 deaths, Billiam gets Sapnap to stop for about five seconds, and in those five seconds he realizes that he can no longer hear or feel Butler Acid oh god Me If he manages to get far enough away and find someplace to hide(perhaps the library again), he dips into the headspace and finds Butler just gone. He looks around for a while and finds them far away from where they were, collapsed on the ground, flickering slightly, and entirely unresponsive. And no matter how much he tries, they just won't wake up, and their Ender half has disappeared completely. He can't do anything except wait for them. Acid fjsjdj oh my god imagine Billiam just goes feral after that he's like "what did you do to m y B u t l e r" and just jumps on Sapnap with his bare hands Me Oh absolutely, he will Murder Sapnap without a second thought and he doesn't care how many deaths he has to go through to do it even though dying more will make it take longer for butler to wake up, and then afterwards he'll be pacing around random areas stress-stimming intensely and waiting for his child to wake up Acid yeap Me Somehow he finds his way to Kinoko Kingdom and is like "oh, this looks like a good place for a walk" and then spends the entire time not actually looking at anything and drowned in anxiety

AND THEN THESE WERE LAST NIGHT'S THOUGHTS, SOMEHOW LATER ON THEY END UP AT SAPNAP'S PLACE CAUSE THEY TECHNICALLY DON'T HAVE A PLACE TO STAY Unless you count the library but I don't think that would be very comfortable-

Anyway, Rune was fronting when they fell asleep and then their chronic nightmares came back. Sapnap wakes up(or was he ever really sleeping?) to some almost animalistic gasping in the other room and runs in to find Karl Karl's body curled on the bed, barely humanoid and random flashes of color spiking over him in waves and clawlike hands digging into his head

So he tries to wake him up, and when he does Bu's first reaction is to scramble away in pure terror because he's not fully out of the nightmare yet, there are even tears running down his face that just get absorbed back into the mass of color. Sapnap tries to calm him down, and eventually succeeds enough to ask him what the hell happened, and who's fronting once he remembers that that is a thing-

Thing is, Bu's gone nonverbal, but hey at least Karl was some sort of shapeshifter so they can just shift blobs of color into the air to answer Sapnap's questions

He very quickly learns only to ask yes/no ones because he can't read Galactic which is the only thing Bu can respond in, but that whole night ends on a pretty good note :3

Acid IS KARL IN THE SYSTEM CANON? HE'D BE THE MAIN FRONTER IF IT IS I THINK Me After that nightmare Rune finds himself trusting Sapnap a little more but also not as able to front, he's just so tired of it. No one else wants to front, he always has to stay there and he never gets a break. At least before, Tune had control during the night and he got to rest some. Now his sleep schedule is just as abhorred as before and no one else even comes near the front. He tries as long as he can, for everyone else's sake, but after weeks of fronting alone he just can't anymore. So he finally leaves the front and just collapses face-first into idk a patch of grass in the innerworld or something, and he's so exhausted of being a person that he can't even think straight, He doesn't want consolation, he doesn't want promises, he doesn't even want cuddles he just wants someone else to take over for a bit. Me OOH MAYBE He wakes up and wanders around the innerworld figuring out what the heck is going on and wondering why he can't see the outside anymore and oh god is he dead, are they all dead maybe they're all dead and none of them know it, and then Rune comes out of front and practically begs to not have to be a person anymore, he tells Karl "please i just want a break, just go out there or get someone else to go out there for a while please" and, well, Karl takes a chance and goes out to front and holy shit is this the real world, holy shit are those his fiancées, holy s h i t Acid THAT'S THE BESR OUTCOME ACTUALLY Me YESSSSSSSSS MASQUERADE SYSTEM + KARL THE MAN HIMSELF JACOBS Acid YESSS Me Karl and Rune are now host and co-host, because. no one else wants to front Acid Karl tricking Billiam into fronting.mp4 Me GSHDFGBSGDHFBSF Rune and Karl lock him into front and Rune proceeds to lean against the nearest flat surface, slide down and then dissociate for the next couple/several hours Karl makes sure no one disturbs him, even if Tune and Piam are Very Worried about their exhausted Human hybrid Acid them taking care of Rune (affectionate)

Acid OK WAIT I WAS THINKING AND IN SYSTEMS PEOPLE USUALLY MANIFEST SO I WAS THINKING HOW THAT'D WORK IN THE MASQUERADE SYS AND I REALIZED THAT EVERYONE IN THERE IS TECHNICALLY DEAD IN A WAY WHAT IF THAT'S THIS AU'S LIMBO? ONE DAY WILBUR POPS UP AND COMMITS MULTIPLE CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY Me HOLY SHIT OH SHIT EVERYONE THAT PERMA-DIES JUST ENDS UP AS AN ALTER IN KARL'S WEIRD COLOR-SHAPESHIFTING BODY XDDD You can always tell who's fronting by the colors, as long as you actually know them enough to know their colors- Acid Wilbur: hello Quackity, I am BAC- Karl: oh my GOD Wilbur shut the FUCK UP we understand it you're gay now please get out of front I have a date in 10 minutes Acid OOOOO YES Me Like Rune is purple/pink(mainly pink) gray-red/dark purple/orange/green eyes(right/right/left/left, respectively), and then he has some other colors sifting through, like a dark indigo-blue and a yellow the color of Endstone Tune is all of that but some of it is darker(the pinks/purples and Endstone color), some of it's the same(the eyes, except they have a light pink shine over them) and some of it is inverted. Clouds will waft around the body when it's fronting and whenever you look through the clouds you'll see the colors inverted Billiam is solidly pale pink except for his eyes(maroon) and his hands and feet(gold, with veins streaking out and tapering off at about the elbow) Piam is a slightly redder pink, with spots of a Netherrack color here and there, and his gold is more orangey, like there's fire reflecting off of it karl is just. karl. Of course he's got the signature swirls in bright violent and teal but other than that he's just a smorgasbord of color, usually bright and neon. When he's near/thinking about Sapnap and/or Quackity, little hearts start popping off him

#Relyn Records #infodump #ask to tag #i don't know if there are any systems following me but if i got anything wrong please tell me i do not want to slander your name-#anyway i may have accidentally made them a system found-family

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tartagliaxx · 3 years ago

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first off, hello 🤷‍♀️ anon! sorry i missed you out

and secondly, dw, marius is my favourite too lol, he reminds me a lot of my younger cousin who i lived with when i was younger. i was always the one who took care of him and marius calling me older sister just set off so much memories of my childhood. the both of them are also vv similar in personality, attention seeking, playful and artistic so i always see him whenever i look at marius.

artem is probably my second favourite ngl, ever since i read his ssr where he was jealous and got drunk (what a good combination lmao) i just grew so soft for him. at the end of the day, he's just a vv soft sweetheart who's insecure that we'll leave him :(( i have like 3 ssrs at lvl36, two of them are artem cards and the other is luke. i vibe with luke too bc i love the childhood friends trope, it's top tier. and as for vyn... i have vv mixed feelings abt him. i feel like he could so easily see through me if he was real and i'm just like, how about no. he's rlly pretty though, like rlly pretty.

*major spoilers*

and you've finished the archon quests!!! personally, i feel like the ending felt a bit rushed(?). it's weird bc i thought the resistance war against the raiden shogun was supposed to be the center of the story, but it just devolved to us helping yae with the entire war being swept to the side. and i already knew somebody was gonna die, and as soon as i saw that teppei had become the captain, i just knew.

it's interesting bc i would love to explore what happened to la signora and scaramouche to make them so disregarding of human life. like, i don't like them, but i want to understand their minds. it's sad to read signora's artifact's background honestly. and the fact that her crown said she used to be called rosalyne, that she had perhaps once led a more innocent and naive existence. i dunno, to me it seems like a good ending for her honestly, she had already lost herself after her lover's death and brings pain to many others, i don't think she can rlly return to being her again.

and honestly, a lot of people are talking abt scaramouche not telling signora he already had the gnosis and saying that he orchestrated her death, i don't rlly think so. i feel like he's just that apathetic to human life, even if it's someone that stands on his side, he just doesn't care enough. it also says how he never got along with anyone, not even his fellow harbingers, so i don't know why ppl expect him to seek out someone he doesn't like just to warn her of danger.

i vibe with scaramouche and la signora as the antagonists bc they're good antagonists, but as characters, well. other than the fact that they're pretty, they have like one likeable trait and that is their loyalty. they would do anything for the tsaritsa even if it cost them their life. i'm rlly excited to see what the tsaritsa has in store for us in the future.

considering our sibling is nicknamed 'the prince/princess', i wonder if there's gonna be a day where we're gonna have to go toe to toe with them. if we had them backed them into a corner with no way out, i wonder if they would kill us. it would be an interesting twist if we could actually die, but i feel like the protagonist halo will prevent it lol and i'm sorry bc god, this is so long.

— r. anon

marius. that’s the tweet. man,, you dont realize how in love i am w him?? like,, this man was literally my only hope when i fell horribly sick. i cant w myself now that i’m hearing it w my own voice. it must be nice to remember the good ol’ days… i despise my cousins and i dont have siblings so i dont really have that sort of connection w him. to me, his onee-san is just a joke? a petname? idk but it simultaneously makes me so mad and giddy just like childe’s existence does

i like vyn bc his vibes are sus but at the same time, he’s cares abt our mental health 🥺👉👈 no one’s ever said shit like that to me… jokes aside, luke is seriously threatening his spot bc of his blushing bs like pls 🤲 i’m so weak for that shit give me more. artem makes me soft too like,, he keeps mentioning that he trusts us and he’s just…. HE’S A BIG TEDDY BEAR THAT BLUSHES AT LIKE ACCIDENTAL HAND BRUSHES GRRRR. in conclusion, i love them all.

but man,, give me ssr luck… literally, im in pain…

now that the excitement’s worn off, i can now judge things properly. i think that… the pacing is horrible. like the plot is good, genuinely, but there’s just,, so much to explore abt this. if you think abt it, this is the climax and yet we didnt get much. scratch that. we got a lot but it’s all underdeveloped that it felt like nothing. we go to sangonimiya, got promoted, became captain for like, one sec before we are sent onto an investigation that didnt really produce any results bc app teppei alr knows everything? and then the delusion thing is a good plot point but it’s not really explored? just… a lot of things are left unexplored and i think that story wise, a lot of the possible lore explanations went down the drain. it would’ve been nice if we saw more abt the rebellion and if we had gotten to know whats the real deal w the commissions but eh… idk… i would’ve rather done more quests abt this whole storyline than like… do that whole dance w the three people who lost their vision in 2.0.

if im going to be honest, la signora is such a wasted character. like maybe her death was just for the shock factor or maybe it’s to prepare us for more harbinger encounters in the future.. idk but she’s such a good character from what we’ve seen but we know jack shit abt her and her motives. we know a little from the artifact set but beyond that, what do we have?

precisely! that’s how i feel abt this whole thing when we’re talking seriously. like w ei, i dont really agree w whatever they’re doing but i want to understand why they do the things that they do. everything has a reason and their psychology is just interesting to me.

i think scaramouche’s nature makes it easy for him to disregard human life. call it arrogance or whatever but ultimately, he’s seeing himself as smth above all these people bc he’s more or less capable of standing toe to toe w a god. why should he bother telling signora? it’s not like he gains anything if he does. i think that when he got the gnosis, he’s just ‘well she dies if she dies. who cares abt that? i dont have any need for incompetent colleagues anw’ i agree and i dont think he orchestrated her death but at the same time, he just allowed it to happen too.

as for signora, i’m actually surprised? for the most part, i think that the harbingers took their posts for selfish reasons. for scara, it’s to entertain himself and pass time. for childe, it’s to fight and grow stronger. for dottore, it’s to conduct dubious research w/o anyone stopping him. i expected signora to have some similar motive like power or money but it seems like she does actually believe in the tsaritsa? it would be very intriguing if signora’s main motive in becoming a harbinger is simply bc she is loyal to the tsaritsa and her will. bc in contrast, i think scara and dottore are more loyal to the fact that the tsaritsa can give them what they want, not bc they actually like her. actually, idek if they’re willing to die for her lol. like i wouldnt be surprised if they suddenly abandon post in a life or death situation but who knows…

in any case, they are very good antagonists. i like yo think that the tsaritsa isnt as bad as the game portrays her to be… of all the gods, she’s the one im looking forward to the most but… haha… what version would that be….

i’m almost certain that they’ll make us fight our twin maybe before we face the unknown god? if one of them dies, i would be very sad. like legit. but knowing mhy, well, our twin is almost 100% a walking death flag.

anw i’m shutting up rn— i also spoke too much kahdjabdhakbsjansb—

#˗ˋˏ°• letters from cat island •°ˎˊ˗#˗ˋˏ°• from my darling : r •°ˎˊ˗#inazuma spoilers

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purplesurveys · 4 years ago

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1213

Have you ever been in weather below 0 Fahrenheit (-17 Celsius)? Nah. The coldest I’ve experienced was probably something like 10 or 11ºC, when I was in Japan. At the time I still didn’t care too much for traveling and ended up being really underdressed for the weather, so I was extremely uncomfortable the whole time we were roaming around the city. Have you ever been caught outdoors away from shelter during a thunderstorm? LOL yes, notably on the last night of my college internship. My car was parked in another building so I had to walk outdoors, when all of a sudden it fucking poured. I ran to the nearest building for shelter but I was still absolutely drenched and ended up having to call my mom (who works in the same city) to ask her to come pick me up.

What’s your favorite macaron flavor? Chocnut or milk chocolate.

How often do you have friends over to your house? Once in a blue moon. I had my ex over all the time but since then I’ve only had one friend - Angela - come over once.

Have you ever had a boss who acted unprofessionally? I mean, we’re very open with each other with regard to our frustrations at work. That could technically count as unprofessional but I’m honestly just glad we don’t have to be fake around one another and pretend like everything’s dandy.

How many times have you stayed at a hotel in the past year, and where? Just once, for my dad’s birthday. We stayed in Tagaytay for a weekend though we Airbnb’d a condo unit and not a hotel.

Have you ever done a flip on a trampoline? Nah. I could try but I’m too afraid of not being able to support myself and accidentally breaking my neck or something.

What about a flip off of a diving board? Nope.

Are you embarrassed by your school yearbook photos? No. I barely look at them and I’m sure people barely look at yearbooks too.

Who taught you to tie your shoelaces? My grandma.

Currently how many pictures are on your cellphone? 8,067. There used to be around 10,000 but I had a ‘huge’ deleting spree that brought it down to around 6,000 – but clearly I’ve brought it back up again lol.

Do you think dimples are cute? Yes, super.

Would you rather chew fruity or minty gum? It’s whatever. They all lost their taste anyway.

The last time you went to the mall, who did you go with? Just me. That’s usually the case nowadays.

What’s something you used to collect when you were younger? Pogs.

Have you watched a movie today? I haven’t watched a movie since like September.

Aside from your own, whose house did you last set foot into? Angela’s, but it was super brief as I only went in to greet her parents.

Do you love soft pretzels? Yep, that’s how I prefer my pretzels as well.

Who was the last person who cried around you? Why did they start crying? Was it unexpected? I really have no clue. I haven’t been around too many people in such a long time, much less people who’ve cried in front of me. I want to say maybe Gabie???? during one of our last meet-ups. The name feels so foreign now.

Are you more likely to like someone before you really know them, or do you feel you like them more after you know a lot about them? After.

Do you buy people cards on special occasions, or do you prefer to make your own? Giving people cards isn’t much of a tradition here. We’d much rather get you a physical gift altogether.

When was the last time you were being hypocritical? I probably do it without realizing, so I can’t say exactly when.

Where on your body was the last cramp you had? Why did you have this cramp? Fortunately I haven’t had one in a while but I usually get cramps on my neck and shoulders after a whole day at work.

What is the weirdest name you’ve ever heard? My sister went to school with this girl whose name was her surname in reverse.

Do you get embarrassed when people hear you sing/compliment you on your singing ability? If so, why is that? Yeah. I’m not confident in my singing, so I never sing around people and it would embarrass me if I was ever caught/heard.

Are you good at comforting people when they’re upset? I try to be. It works for some people.

Do you have any exercises you do everyday? Nah.

Do you own one of those singing fish? Do you think they are silly or funny? I don’t know what this is referring to.

Has anyone ever accused you of being bipolar or any other mental disorder? Do you really have any mental disorders? No one has accused me; at least not to my face. As for the second question, I’m sure I have one or two; I’ve just never gotten myself professionally checked.

Did you buy the last thing you bought with your own money? If not, whose money did you buy it with? Yabu because I was craving; paid with my own money. It actually feels pretty weird because Yabu had been mine and my ex’s thing, and I haven’t had their food since the breakup. I’m looking forward to having it again tonight and finally changing the narrative for it.

Do you like to put your feet up on the dashboards of cars? Do you parents yell at you if you do that in cars? I don’t like to do it but I’ll sometimes do it if I wanna feel relaxed. No, it wouldn’t bother them too much.

Which Beatle is your favorite, or do you love them all equally? I don’t listen to them.

Do you enjoy classic rock? If so, who are some of your favorite classic rock artists? Not really, but I have nothing against it.

Did you ever own a Tamagotchi? Yep.

Are you more of a dog or cat person? Dog.

Have you ever failed math? Just the advanced courses, like calculus, back in high school. I find math pretty fun and easy if I get the topic and know the formulas; but if I find something hard, it’s very difficult for me to keep up. There’s really no in between haha I either pass with flying colors or absolutely flop.

Skittles! What's your favorite color? Whichever’s not too sour. Idk, I never buy Skittles.

Have you ever had a dream of stabbing someone? Nope but I used to have nightmares of watching my loved ones get shot.

What would you want your last words to be if you could choose them? That I had fun.

Can you sleep with the light on? Only if I’m pissed tired. Otherwise bright lights would bother me.

What’s the most bizarre horror movie you’ve ever seen? I know my answer won’t count as it doesn’t technically fall under horror, but Eraserhead was just very bizarre and unsettling. I’ve never seen the whole film without pausing several times.

What band can’t you stand listening to? Again, this probably won’t count as they’re a boy band/group more than anything, but I cannot stand The Vamps.

Would you ever take a lie detector test for your significant other? Yeah, sure, I guess, for fun. I think those are mostly bullshit anyway so I’ll only take a test with bullshit questions as well.

What is your favorite Mystery/Crime/FBI related show? Those genres never really were my cup of tea.

Would you ever have a bird as a pet? We had two lovebirds some years ago. They were lovely, but idk if we’d do it again. No reason, just that we prefer dogs.

How's your relationship between you and your grandparents? It’s great, even with my maternal grandpa who’s already passed. But I’m well aware of the fact that they’re also a bit wary of me since I’m the most vocal and outspoken of all their grandchildren, whereas they’re intensely conservative and traditional. Still, I always feel their love, especially through food and how they always make sure to stuff me whenever I come over haha.

Ever had a forbidden love or lover? In a sense, yeah. I was in a same-sex relationship that I hid from my family for four years.

Have you ever had to speak at a funeral? I’ve never been to a funeral but I doubt I could speak at one without breaking down.

Do you know someone who’s been cremated? Yes, my grandpa was cremated.

What is your current problem? Just some deliverables at work that I would rather not think about now.

Do you like canopy beds? Eh, I don’t mind them.

What is your favorite animated movie? Toy Story.

Would you rather live in a small town or a big city? Big city. I need lots of noise, lots of activity and lights where I live. I’ve lived in suburban neighborhoods all my life and I would love a change in pace.

If you could summon any animal to come to your rescue, what animal would it be and why? Idk.

Have you ever watched The Golden Girls? I’ve watched snippets and it’s HILARIOUS. I’ve always wanted to start the series but never knew where to watch it.

Did you ever like the Ninja Turtles? Was never into it, no.

Last alcoholic drink you had? Peach soju and plum soju that got me absolutely hammered.

What are you known for? These days, probably for doing an extreme 180 and having my life be all about BTS now.

Has anyone ever threatened you? Yes.

Have you ever gone frog hunting? No? Doesn’t sound like my type of activity at all.

Do you ever suffer from dry skin? Yeah my face is a little dry, but I don’t think it’s something I ‘suffer’ from since no issues have come out of it so far. It’s just the way it is.

Do you still sleep with a stuffed animal? Not a stuffed animal but I need to hug a pillow to fall asleep.

What’s the weather like right this moment? It’s weather that says “it’s gonna get really hot in an hour or so” and I’m not enjoying that very much.

Do you bite on straws, lollipop handles, or ice cream sticks? If there’s no trash can around, I tend to.

In what type of area was your first sexual encounter? It was in a hotel.

Where is your mother’s side of the family descended from? Just somewhere in the Philippines.

What do you occupy your time with on flights? I’m honestly really happy with just staring out the window. If not that, I bring something to read or listen to music. I haven’t had a flight that lasted 6+ hours, but I imagine I would also bring my laptop for a series or movies to watch if I find myself in that situation.

Do you dog-ear pages in books? Yup.

What’s a made up word of yours? I don’t think I have any.

Do you use Q-Tips? I do.

Ever gone out with somebody you didn’t like? No. I don’t think I could bring myself to do that.

What hero or heroine do you most relate to in history, fiction, or song? I don’t really like content with a hero/ine plot.

What makes you dizzy? Amusement park rides, car rides, headaches.

Are your parents liberal or conservative? Conservative.

Do you like your teeth? Did you have braces? Not my middle teeth, but in general yeah. I did have braces but I lost my retainers at one point so my teeth just went back to their original position eventually.

Are you happy with your height? It’s fine. I’m small but it’s the average here so I don’t really complain.

#survey #surveys

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thecanadianowl · 4 years ago

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Justice league Snydercut review

Wow talk about a long movie. Remember Mass Effect's 3 shit endings that were later improved (sorta) with DLCs. Well that is kinda how this movie is.

Before we start this, I just wanna say that I was very impartial throughout the whole snydercut movement. I wasn't part of it but I do see the good that they did in regards to some of their charities and with how the fandom itself has been painted in a negative light. So its good that they got what they have been demanding for quite some time. Snyder as director for me, I really am not the biggest fan of. His movies have some great cinematic moments that look amazing but the context around it is what muddles it for me.

Is it better than Whedon's JL? YES. To start I'll look at some of the things that I do like.

I do like how it was split into parts. Gives it that miniseries/Comic book feel

Thank god they removed that stupid cringy flash landing on top of Diana's chest scene.

Darkseid looks good. I know some people have issues with it but I liked it. I mean looking at it first glance has me convinced its Darkseid. His voice isn't too bad either. Reminds me a bit of Injustice 2.

As much as I have issues with Darkseid being introduced so early I do like that he had a brief confrontation/glaredown with the League, foreshadowing a possible in person encounter and that the League needs to expand if they are going to fight against Darkseid.

Steppenwolf's design has greatly improved and looks better than before.

Loved the scenes between Alfred and Diana. Wish there was more of that.

I loved how the movie added Cyborg, Aquaman and Flash attempting to stop Superman from getting to Batman. I also liked how in this version, Batman pleading to Clark's humanity telling him that world needs him and he needs to snap out of it. Also bonus for taking out that scene of Batman on the ground groaning about how old he is getting.

Okay seeing Clark get the black suit and having the voiceovers of both his father's merge together works in terms of Clark's arc into becoming the person he was meant to be. Also like the use of Zimmerman's Ideal of Hope score wished they let it play out a little longer. Probably my favourite moment in the film is where Superman just takes Steppenwolf's Axe like its nothing and freezes it.

Now to go into some of the more critical stuff that bugged me when watching.

For a movie that is 4 hours long, pacing issues were bound to happen. I think the first example of this can be found in the opening with the Superman scream wave (which started to get a bit hilarious when his screams could be heard every now and then) hitting all three mother boxes. they are shown individually reacting to it and it takes time, where it could have just showed them together or an compilation of each of the motherboxes waking up. I know it Snyder's thing but tone down on the slow mo. Like some instances its fine (like with bullet time or Flash's scenes) but other instances I'm just like alright I get it.

The scene involving Cyborg transferring money into that single mother's bank account. Is he gonna do this for all the people suffering just like her? or just for that one person? I mean if you can hack into the world monetary system, you can solve a lot of financial issues affecting the majoirty and not just one person. Did I miss the scene but why did Cyborg go from helping one poor person, suggesting the potential good he can do to change the world for the better to "Fuck the world". Seems a bit inconsistent in character. Especially since he knows who Diana is (from what he says) and that Parademons are after the motherbox. Maybe her offering help, you should take it? idk Vic. Also the whole Auto defense system malfunction, would it not be better if this was established beforehand where we see Vic struggling to maintain his body's autonomy leading up to the Superman confrontation? Prior to that it seemed he had it under control and his biggest conflict throughout the movie seemed more to be with him coming to terms with his new body. With that being said, Cyborg's character here is much more interesting and better than it was originally. I can see why Ray Fisher is so pissed (well that and the abuse he faced). I am glad this was improved and gave the character a lot more to do.

The movie still has the same issue as before in regards to the whole motherbox plot and how convenient it was that all three are located on earth. You would think that with the involvement of Darkseid/Steppenwolf that separating them to distinct locations across space would make it more difficult to collect them. I mean we know that the Green Lanterns exist (we saw one get chomped), you'd think that they or the guardians would take one and secure it on Oa. The pushback to this would be "well there was only one green lantern and he died, so how could they retrieve the box?" which begs my question, why send only one? I mean it has been established that Darkseid is a known conqueror of worlds, you'd think the Guardians would be smart enough to send more than one Lantern to aid Earth in their fight. Did they not think it would be a good idea to have the corps be more involved/keep an eye on earth since it is the only planet that was able to repel Darkseid's forces?

Why is it that the best idea of security when it comes to humans is to bury it? Would it not be better in optics to look over it and know its location instead of dropping it somewhere on the off chance that someone might find it due to being curious or the land changing/altering making the box more easy to attain? A situation as dire/serious as this, you would think that the Amazons/Atlanteans would have been better prepped with armor/weapons for such an event. I mean you have the arrow of Artemis that shoots quite a distance to give Diana a message but not some kind of weapon that hurts/cripples Steppenwolf? Or better yet, how about the moment that the boxes started acting up after Superman's death, that Atlantis/Themiscarya would put aside any differences they had with one another and to the outside world to come together to secure the boxes? How could Darkseid forget the name of the only planet that was able to force him to retreat? nor does he know that it harbors the anti life?

Did this movie break Aquaman's continuity? because from the dialogue between Mera and Arthur, its implied that Atlanna abandoned/left Arthur at Tom's doorsteps whereas in the movie, we see Atlanna spend a couple of years with Tom and raising baby Arthur before she was forced to come back. You'd think Zack being a producer for the Aquaman movie would have edited that line or made it more clear. Well that or James Wan F'ed up when making the movie.

"I've never seen a being as strong as Steppenwolf" Did Diana just forget Ares aka the god of war who killed the Greek Pantheon/Old gods and orchestrated the first World War? Hell from the looks of the flashback it seemed Ares (I'm assuming its Ares, if its Hades, my bad) was getting some good hits in on Darkseid, who is superior to Steppenwolf. While we are on the topic of Diana, it's a bit odd that Snyder who was a producer on WW84 where one of the biggest focuses on the movie that Patty Jenkins talked about was how Diana doesn't solve her problems with violence (even though her primary weapons in this movie are a sword and shield but okay. Then again New 52 hasn't done a good job in disproving that), yet in this movie we see her using her gauntlet smash to fucking kill the one remaining terorrist. Like sure you can argue that they were terrorists and deserve to die, but given how easy and quick it was for her to take out the previous guys, why do something that runs the risks of destroying the very building that you are in (with hostages). I mean from the look of the blast and how much debris fell from the building outside, and it was a miracle no one (but the terrorist) got hurt/killed.

Why did Steppenwolf kidnap them in the first place? Just use that mind extracting device you used on the Atlantean soldier to see if they know. Seems like a waste of time to collect them in one location only to interrogate them later.

Okay, I'm sorry but even in this cut I still don't like Miller's Barry Allen. He isn't as bad as he was in the theatrical cut but man does it stick out. When he is helping to escort the kidnapped civilians out, why doesn't he just grab them and transfer them to a safe distance? He even makes a comment about how slow they are going. Can I also just say how weird it is for Barry to take time saving Iris to caress her hair and look at her more creepily in slow mo? Like yeah its in slow mo but still I think your priority should be to get everyone to safety as quick as possible and check if anyone else could get hurt. I will admit that Barry's speech as he is running so fast to reverse time at the end was really good. Tho the more I think about all the slow mo Flash scenes are good.

They still kept the "Let's use the mother box to bring back Superman plot". Why? This is a piece of tech that you don't fully understand how it works and you are going on the whims of someone you just met. Especially if they come back as a different person/mindset all together. If Superman 's death was the reason that allowed for the Mother box to call to Steppenwolf/Darkseid, what the hell were they doing prior to Superman's arrival on earth? I mean we've seen how easy it was for Steppenwolf to attain the two boxes even if they were guarded, so why the wait ?. I get that Batman is going through an arc and trying to change from the person he was but how does go from "1% chance of absolute certainty" to "let's go on a whim and have faith" when it comes to resurrecting Superman?

Its gonna be awkward as to how Clark will explain his sudden return from the grave around the same time Superman came back.

I was wondering when the Knightmare scene will play out. Jared leto's Joker isn't over with me, it seems way too try-hard to be edgy. Other than that yeah, not much I can say about it. Tho do we seriously need another iteration where Superman (or someone with Superman like powers) is evil?

I also love how nonchalant Bruce is about J'onn appearing in front him. However the revelation that J'onn was that army general all the time breaks so much of continuity (and just why now did you decide to show up and help and not idk the time Zod invaded and nearly terraformed earth, HELL WHY TF DIDN'T SHOW UP TO HELP THE LEAGUE IF YOU KNEW ABOUT DARKSEID, I'M SORRY TO RAG ON BUT REALLY THIS CAMEO JUST OPENS UP SO MANY QUESTIONS, IT JUST SEEMS LIKE AN "PALPATINE WAS BEHIND THIS ALL ALONG" KIND OF THING ).

In terms of getting a sequel, I am not sure if WB is going to go through with it given that their current vision seems to be a different route than the one Snyder intended so who knows. Despite my criticisms I do believe this is Snyder's best DCEU film to date and probably one of his better films. You could tell that he put in a lot to make this. The movie itself does have issues mostly due to the plot surrounding the motherbox as well as pacing. I would say it's worth the watch at least once, though I think its best to watch it in doses rather than one sitting. Ultimately this is the version that we should have gotten and I can see why so many people who were supportive of Zack wanted or vouched for him to finish it. Regardless, I think the very least I am happy for Snyder. If you like Snyder's previous stuff, you will like this one, if you don't, your perception of the film won't change significantly other than some cool bits here and there.

#dceu #justice league #snydercut #snydercut spoilers #dc comics

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kinetic-elaboration · 4 years ago

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December 29: The Wrath of Khan

Today’s movie watching was Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan.

My overall impression versus TMP is that this is clearly a smoother and more consistently entertaining film. It has a definite story with very little filler, good pacing, a lot of great little dialogue and character moments, and a strong conflict at its center.

But its sci fi bona fides are much weaker. Like by a lot.

Mom and I are talking a bit about Genesis and the more we talk, the weaker it appears to me. First, it’s not really as believable, imo, as a lot of Star Trek. Maybe it’s because it’s not alien based, but I just have a harder time suspending disbelief to think this is possible. Second, it’s not clear why anyone thought this was a good idea. I mean, as McCoy immediately pointed out, it just seems so CLEARLY dangerous: an object meant to foster creation that could so easily be the worst weapon the universe has ever known--nothing could go awry there! Third, the reason for creating such a device isn’t obvious at all. Carol mentions the “growing population” and “food scarcity” but nothing we’ve ever seen of the Federation implies they’re running out of space. Or, frankly (Tarsus IV aside), food. And fourth, there really isn’t any point to Genesis in all its particulars in this film. Like, obviously, its actual purpose is a plot device to resurrect Spock. Within just this film, it doesn’t do anything. Khan wants it, for some reason I’ve already forgotten even though I just saw the film, and he gets it, but I didn’t even notice that happening, because it was so unimportant. His REAL mission is his single minded revenge fantasy on Kirk. Genesis is just a McGuffin/space filler/plot device for the next film.

And honestly that’s not such a big deal, except that when you compare it to TMP, ,and its central idea of a human made probe that gained so much knowledge, doing what we taught it to do, that it became sentient and then started searching for the meaning of life, and how this relates to the search for meaning experienced by the main alien lead, and how his search, in that film and throughout the series, is a mirror for humans and OUR need for purpose... well it just seems really weak. “We made this really dangerous and unrealistic thing for no reason whoops!”

Mom is now criticizing Kirk for being too slow on the uptake when he first encounters the Reliant, which is fair. That’s pretty OOC of him. The idea that he’s too old for space is both one that I must personally disregard, and one that the film would have you discard, since we’ve already heard from TWO characters, the people who know him best, that his best destiny is as a starship captain, and command is his proper role. And that he might be a little rusty is also not a great explanation imo, because the rust was supposed to have come off in TMP. So, plot hole probably.

We were trying to do some math--TMP is at least 2 years post 5YM and TWOK is at least 10 years post TMP, so at least 8 years post TMP. I can understand more rust growing but like... he was already an Admiral in TMP and the idea that he was out of practice with actual command was a big part of his arc there. So it doesn’t seem warranted to do that again.

Also, the way he was commanding poorly in TMP was very IC: he was pushing too hard, trying too much, caring too much about the mission and not enough about...the laws of physics. That’s very Kirk. Being slow on the uptake, caught with his britches down--that’s not Kirk. Plus, with no one to call him out on it, like Decker did in TMP, his poor command doesn’t seem like a big character obstacle to overcome but just like...sloppiness all around.

I thought Khan was over all... just not that interesting. I guess I’m just not into the obsession/revenge plot. Also...idk man he didn’t seem that super to me. He outsmarted Kirk, like, once, and Kirk outsmarted him like 4 times. He tortured some people--but regular humans can do that. He used those sandworm thingies, which is also something humans could do. Overall, he didn’t seem to have any particularly special skills. The only time he really seemed like a worthy adversary for Kirk was when Kirk wasn’t really being IC himself.

I’m also not into the fridging of his wife. Think how much cooler it would have been if she’d still been alive! The only non-super human in the bunch and she’s still there! Ex-Starfleet and bitter!

The K/S in this film is very soothing. Imo they are clearly together here, and the whole film is better if you assume they’re boyfriends and everyone knows. That Vulcan convo that Spock and Saavik have? Waaaaay funnier if you think she’s talking about his boyfriend (”not what I expected....very human” “Well no one’s perfect”). Every time they call each other ‘friend’ like ““friend”“? All the Looks? The birthday gift?

Also the “I have been and always shall be your [friend]” scene is a wedding I will not be taking criticism on this opinion. Could it have been written more like a vow? I think not. It’s not quite This Simple Feeling but it’s the best this film has in that regard.

I liked Saavik and I do think she’s one of the better later-movie additions (though I only like her, as far as I can remember, when played by Kirstie Alley). She didn’t necessarily strike me as super alien, though, at least not at first... But I appreciated how persistent she was about the stupid test, and her regulation quoting. I enjoyed her. I also liked how she was obviously Spock’s protege, which makes her Kirk’s step-protege, and they had just a little bit of that awkward dynamic going on. (”Did you change your hair?”)

The Bones and Kirk relationship was great in this film. You can really feel their friendship and their history with each other. Bones knows him so well and can be honest with him, just when Kirk needs it most.

I also love how Kirk has the SAME conversation with both Bones and Spock (re: being a captain again) but with Spock it’s sooooo much flirtier. In case you weren’t sure what the difference in these two relationships is.

Bonus: this bit of dialogue: Spock: “Be careful, Jim.” / Bones: “WE will.” Lol Spock people who aren’t your boyfriend do exist.

Obviously, I cried during THAT scene. Honestly AOS should have taken note about how to do emotional scenes like that: they come after the main action is over and the villain is defeated. Then they hit at the right time and to the right degree. Kirk just slumping down after Spock dies....like he’s boneless...like he doesn’t know what to do... I CANNOT.

I feel so bad for him that I’ll even forgive him that awful eulogy. Spock died for Genesis? Uh, no, he died for the Enterprise, and for YOU. Spock is the “most human”? You shut your whoreson mouth

I remember hating both Carol and David but I actually hated them less this time, Carol especially. My mom is being really harsh about her, though, which makes me feel less confident in my assessment. I mean first off, she’s the inventor of Genesis, which is a pretty big strike against her. Second...pretty lame to keep Kirk from David. Although I did some vague math and Kirk would only have been about 21, still in the Academy, when David was born, so you can see how that would work out. Also, she distinctly says “Were we together?” which means they were not--this was a fuck buddy arrangement for sure. More complicated. But it still feels weird to retcon that, like, he’s known THIS WHOLE TIME that he’s a dad and we’re only learning about it now, as an audience.

Anyway I’m getting off track. Carol. What to make of her? Is she unstable? Is she still mad at Kirk? My mom points out that she just decided on her own that David would want to join Starfleet if he knew Kirk was his father--whereas what seems to have happened instead is he didn’t just become a civilian scientist like his mom but became her specific protege--working on a project where everyone was probably handpicked by her? I would assume? Also..he hates Starfleet. Not to put everything on the mom, but how did that happen?

Also...going down the rabbit hole of this and feeling awkward about it... but David KNEW Kirk. As “that guy you hung around with.” That means Kirk was in his life for quite a while, long enough for him to have memories, and long enough for those memories to still be with him even into his 20s. But he was never allowed to know who Kirk was. That means Carol’s rule must have been “You can see your son but you can’t tell him who you are” which in some way seems meaner to me than just “please don’t contact us again.” If he was already on his way into space, that could even make sense--”I know you’re not going to be able to be a family with us, so let’s not pretend, let’s make a clean break now.” But that wasn’t what happened!

Anyway whatever not to be HAICG!Kirk about this or anything lol

David is mostly annoying because he’s so anti-Kirk lol. I found him least annoying when he came around to Kirk at the end. Another big strike against him: he wore his sweater tied over his shoulders in such a Preppy manner. I honestly don’t see what about him is supposed to be reminiscent of Kirk.

David/Saavik was definitely happening lol. I wish I could have heard that conversation. It sounds like she told him a lot!!! Not sure why she attached herself to this particular annoying human so fast but I guess she did.

....I think that might be all. The uniforms and general styling were much better than TMP (though less funny/entertaining), and it was certainly an enjoyable overall yarn. A lot to pick apart and critique but in a fun way. Will probably watch The Search for Spock soon.

#the year 2020 #2020: star trek #2020: fandom thoughts #star trek tos

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dmbakura · 5 years ago

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ok so i completed re3 remake! thots below (spoilers obviously)

what i liked:

-probably the coolest intro of any re game

-the story, jill and carlos are soooo much better than the original game. this is the best iteration of jill, and carlos is so likeable. their relationship also feels way more natural. kind of just a product of resident evil absolutely killing it in production value these days

-this game did remove the clocktower and park areas, which is a bit disappointing, but imo the new hospital, factory/lab and reworked RPD section are a lot better than the old game’s versions. similarly, i like the city a lot more.

-the pace is more akin to re4, more linear and streamlined, which i guess can be a bad thing to some people, but i thought it made for a much more focused narrative so i can appreciate it. it does play very differently than re2r despite sharing the same controls

-really loved most of the boss fights

-the tie ins to re2r had me yelling

-good music

what i disliked/am ??? about:

-the biggest issue is that nemesis, despite being super cool, is criminally underutilized. i only really felt threatened by him once and it’s probably the result of the “linear” point i made above. a lot of his encounters are scripted to be cinematic. the game doesn’t give you a whole lot of time to really marinate in his presence the same way re2r did with mr x (with his long chase section in the RPD)

(^^^ at the same time, i feel like this could also just be the result of people being used to mr x by now?? idk)

-this game has the same controls as re2r and 90% of the time it works really well, but the other 10% is some weird clunk where things don’t feel quite right. i died a few times to not being able to get a door open in time, or for some reason my gun didnt reload even though ive pretty much mastered the controls in re2r and i know the timing for my inputs. not sure what’s up with this?

-there is only one unlockable costume for jill??

-nikolai is so weirdly goofy. not really as grounded as the og version. minor thing, but i liked him more as a more believable villain

-i guess it’s not really a negative, but i dont really understand why this is bundled with resistance. they’re such vastly disconnected experiences with different markets. it’s just such an odd choice to me and feels like it was hastily done

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mochi-rose · 6 years ago

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|| War of Hearts || Three.

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader x Jimin Description: Thinking too much can be a bad thing, especially if you end up getting turned on without your fuck buddy to get you off. Bad quickly turns worse when your ex texts you, and worse goes to shit when you decide to let your ex in when you're in such a state. After everything is said and done, you're left feeling more confused than before and you decide that wine and sleep will be your best friend tonight. Genre: Angst, smut. Word Count: 7.0k Warnings: Heavy dirty talk, derogatory name-calling, “Daddy” kink, spit play, HEAVY breath play, lots of hair pulling, sensory deprivation & overload (y’all, i went all-in), rough sex, emotional turmoil? Tags: @lunaticgurly, @legendaryangelmoneylawyer, @mrs-jeonjk *At any point in time, notify me to be added or removed from this list!* A/N: So I’m super sleep-deprived since I traveled across country and back in 4 days by driving and I have to get up early for my wisdom teeth surgery (which I’m terrified about), but goshdamnit, I’m gonna publish this before I’m doped up on drugs. Enjoy (and please leave me lovely feedback so I can be happy while I’m dying from this procedure)! | Playlist | Prologue | 1 | 2 | 3 |

You’re currently curled up on the couch, staring at the ceiling. To say that you’re bored out of your mind is an understatement; however, an unidentified, hazy feeling stops you from getting up to do something. Your brain has been floating around to multiple topics, but somehow it always goes back to Jimin.

It’s only been about two weeks since the whole break up ordeal, but it seems longer. During the time, you and Jimin have been getting quite close, and now it’s unusual for you two to not see each other longer than two days. It all still feels weird to you, especially since you were against turning your one-time-deal into a regular thing in the beginning.

“Quit running.” Jimin’s hot breath hits your neck as he pins you to the wall in his hallway. You want to ask yourself how you got in this situation, but you know you’re the only one to blame.

“I’m sorry, I was under the influence. I made a mistake, and I wasn’t in my right mind.” You start spitting out the first thing that comes to mind to help you get out of this dilemma, but as soon as they come out, you feel guilty since you know that’s not entirely true.

“I’d say you were in your right mind. At least enough to badger me about safe sex.” Jimin retorts, and that makes you forget about trying to not look at his gorgeous face— at least enough to give him a shocked expression and a smack on the arm. “Jimin!”

He quickly laughs and backs away enough for you to breathe. A part of you is thankful since you can finally breathe without getting high from his intoxicating smell; however, you can’t seem to smother that small yearning that wants to pull him right back in again. “I’m just joking! I already told you, I’ve scheduled an appointment to get checked. I was very serious and in my right mind when I said I wanted there to be a next time. I hope you were too.”

A blush creeps upon your face, and you curse Jimin for being so honest about the way he feels. “I-… I want to, but…” you start to say; however, he quickly interrupts you.

“But you’re still scared, right?” You glance up at his understanding gaze before looking back to the floor and giving a sheepish nod. Without a second thought, he diminishes the space in between you two again as you feel one arm of his wrap around your waist tightly, and the other hand comes to hold your cheek. “I won’t do anything you feel uncomfortable with. And if I do, be vocal about it. I’ll stop immediately. We go at your pace, okay? If you want nothing to do with me, tell me.”

As his thumb begins to slowly caress its way down to your lips, you make eye contact with him, and you see a small shift in his eyes as they focus in on the way you unconsciously slide your tongue across your bottom lip and softly bite it. “If you want me to kiss you, say it.” You notice how his tone’s become guttural, and there’s suddenly neediness to it, and you can’t help but lean into him more, desperately wanting to see what’s next.

He leans down and softly bites your earlobe, making you arch your back and push your chest into him. “If you want me to touch you… say it.” He whispers into your ear, gliding his hand down, and ever so lightly tracing your curves around your waist until he gets to your thigh. Smoothly lifting your leg around his waist, his hand starts slowly travelling upward again, this time under the hem of your skirt. With his other arm still wrapped around your waist, he pulls your hips closer and grinds his hips into yours, making your head fall forward to rest on his shoulder.

Jimin’s hand reaches your hip and digs his fingernails into your skin. “If you want me to—,” he begins to say as he scratches down, but hesitates as his hand quickly goes back to your hip. You feel his thumb wipe across your skin where your underwear should be. He slides your skirt up over your bum to confirm that you, indeed, were not wearing any panties. A small needy groan leaves his mouth, and you feel a puff of hot air on your neck before he pulls back, looking at you with blown-out pupils. “Fuck…” is all he could say before you leap up and he carries you back in his room.

A sigh leaves your lips as you think back to the first time the both of you saw each other after the first encounter. “Well that didn’t last long,” you mumble, commenting about your fleeting negative feelings you once had.

As you flip over onto your side, you notice how thinking back to the two of you makes you start feeling hot and you suddenly can’t seem to stop another flashback from popping up in your mind.

“By the way, I’m sorry you only got to come once during our first time together,” Jimin says as he sets you down on his bed and crawls on top of you.

You wrap your arms around his neck and gently grapple fistfuls of his smooth, black hair, beginning to softly play with it. Giggling, your eyes twinkle in amusement as you respond, “don’t be sorry. Besides, I was too focused on making you feel good to care”.

You notice the tiniest movement of him pulling back, and his eyebrows scrunch together. Afraid you said something weird, you ask him what’s wrong; however, he quickly recovers, and a bright smile graces his face. “Nothing, you just surprised me, that’s all.”

“How so?”

“Well, for starters, I don’t really think I’ve had a girl solely focus on making me feel good,” Jimin states and, this time, you raise your eyebrows in shock. “I don’t know if they do it intentionally or not, but it’s just usually always been vice versa.”

You don’t know why, but a small part of your heart squeezes at the thought that you might have been different from the other girls; however, you quickly try to smother that feeling down, mentally yelling at yourself that it doesn’t matter anyway. Before you can get into an internal argument with yourself, Jimin goes to slide your shirt up and starts peppering your lower stomach with unhurried kisses. As he gets to the hemline of your skirt, he looks back up at you with a hungry gaze and speaks in a confident, breathy tone, “don’t worry, this time you’ll be begging me to stop because you can’t take it anymore”.

Feeling heat rush to both your cheeks and your lower parts, you groan as you grab your phone quickly and pull up Jimin’s contact. You’ve been trying not to be the first one to reach out to him since a part of you is still getting used to the whole ‘friends with benefits’ idea; however, this time you’re at your breaking point.

This is the longest you haven’t seen him, which has been four days, and quite frankly, you’re desperate. He’s been busy on his end, and you don’t blame him for that in any way, but you know he should be getting his results back soon and the thought of you guys finally getting to have sex without a condom is leaving you feeling needy.

You: Hiya, how has your day been? I, uh, just was.. ya know, wondering if maybe you’re… free?

You reread the text you just sent and huff at your idiocy. Wow, _____, could you try to not make it sound so much like you need someone to talk to? Not. Cool.

You: Like, idk, you feel like coming over?

Again, you read the text that you sent too quickly and curse your trigger fingers for sending it faster than you can really think about how it sounds. Fuck this shit.

You: Look, I’m horny. And I want you to fuck me. Come over.

Does pushing yourself too far make you crudely honest, maybe, but you think that’s just something you’ll have to live with as you toss your phone aside and give him a chance to respond as you get up to get a glass of water. You run a hand through your hair and take a big sigh, maybe I’m too thirsty…heh, no pun intended. But seriously, what the hell is wrong with me?

While downing your glass, you have a mental conversation with yourself discussing what is wrong with you for acting like this, but as you finish drinking and put your cup in the sink, you decide ‘to hell with it; out of sight, out of mind’, and move on.

Leisurely walking back to the couch, you notice your screen glows to let you know you got a text, so you saunter back faster than you’d like to admit, eager to see Jimin’s response. Reading the new message, your heart starts beating uncontrollably, and your hands start shaking; however, not in a good way.

That Guy: _____. Talk to me. That Guy: At least hear me out. That Guy: I need to talk to you. That Guy: Please?

You sigh and run an aggravated hand through your hair, wondering what to do. Your mind flashes back to how Jimin told you to straight-up ignore him; in fact, he was pretty adamant about it.

Jimin rolls off of you as he plunks down beside you. You turn your head to him, smiling, and are just about to compliment on how great the sex was when your phone goes off. You roll over and grab your phone, curious as to who’s texting you at this time.

That Guy: _____, it’s been a week. Can we please talk?

You open the text, and your thumbs hover over the keyboard, planning on responding but not knowing what to say when Jimin wraps his arm around your waist and peaks over your shoulder. “‘That guy’? Who is that?”

“Jungkook.”

You swear you feel a moment where Jimin tenses around you; however, it’s gone before you can even think more about it. “What does he want?” Jimin asks while starting to pepper soft kisses on your neck.

You roll your eyes and respond, “to talk, like always”. At this, Jimin spins you around to where you’re on your back and facing him while he hovers over you. “So he texts you a lot still?” An inquisitive eyebrow is raised on his face, and you feel the need to explain yourself for some unknown reason. “Yeah. But I haven’t texted back yet. I don’t know what to say.”

“There’s nothing to say. Just don’t respond.”

“Yeah, but I dunno… I kind of feel bad for doing that. Maybe. I don’t even know…” You mutter, glancing back at your phone as thumbs still hover over the keys. Jimin tilts his head to the side for a moment and looks at you, almost like he’s trying to analyse what you’re thinking. Swiftly, he gets back on top of you and gently pins down your wrists. You instinctively tighten your hand around your phone, but Jimin’s thumb slowly slides under the phone. His eyes seem to send you a message to kindly do what he says, and you can’t help but loosen the grip on your phone.

“He broke up with you; you don’t owe him anything. You shouldn’t worry about him anymore; in fact, there’s no reason to talk at all,” Jimin says in a very persuading, yet gentle manner, and you note how it’s not fair because you know he’s going to win when he sounds so genuine. He takes your phone and sets it back on the bedside table before turning his attention back to you. “Anyway, let’s go another round. I’m almost ready,” he says once more as he begins to slide down to your nether regions. As your mind notices he’s eating you out even more passionately than before, you begin to forget what you were even talking about a few moments ago.

“Ignore him. Just ignore him, _____. You’d do good to listen to Jimin’s voice of reasoning,” you speak to yourself, trying to remember all of the reasons why you shouldn’t respond to Jungkook. You toss your phone back on the couch before walking away and beginning to pace. “Don’t do it. You’re only opening up Pandora’s box if you do.”

Your phone goes off again making you stop mid-pace once more. Looking over at your phone as if you’ve just seen a ghost, you begin to crack your knuckles, trying to stay strong.

Jeez, you’re acting as if he’s some drug that you haven’t had in years and suddenly it’s floating right in front of your face. Don’t be weak, he’s just a guy… that you spent two years with and planned on spending more… that you. CAN. GET. OVER! Come on, _____!

“But.. let’s be real. You’re alone… you’re in the mood.. and Jimin is nowhere to be seen or heard, and he’s not answering any of your texts…” You mutter and go back to pacing, except this time you swear you’re about to go mental. You run another hand through your hair, trying to calm your stress levels before glancing back at your phone from the corner of your eye. Can you blame a girl?

“Oh, fuck it…” You hiss before stomping over and fumbling for your phone. With lightning speed, your thumbs tap the screen to type out a message, and it’s a wonder they don’t get tangled together. You press the send button and then try to calm yourself from how fast your heart is racing.

You: What’s there to talk about?

Expecting it’ll be a while for him to respond, you lock the screen right as he sends an immediate response back. Biting your lip, you notice how it’s taking everything in your power not to start hyperventilating at this moment.

That Guy: Actually, I’m on a run right now, so I’m only a few minutes from you. Can I stop by? That Guy: Please?

Oh, ____, you are SO going to regret this, you think as you shake your head and bite down harder. You wince from the pain, but a quick, nagging thought says maybe you deserve that for being so stupid right now.

You: Fine. You: But make it quick.

You look around the place to make sure it’s tidy before you quickly walk into the bathroom and face the mirror. Doing a once-over, you make sure you, yourself, look nice enough for company and make eye contact with your reflection. “Why the hell am I doing this…” You mumble to yourself. Because you’re in the mood and you’re desperate, you stupid girl, your conscience answers condescendingly. You hear the frightening knock and do one last look before sighing and walking out to go answer the door.

“Jung—“ You swing the door open quickly to prove you’re not going to take any of his shit; however, the moment you see him, all bets are off. In front of your doorstep is a very sweaty, and very hot, Jungkook standing there shirtless with all of his tense muscles on display for you to see. Oh, this is not helping, you think as you shame yourself because you know your face is showing just how flabbergasted you are, yet there’s no way you can control it.

You swallow quickly and shift to your other foot to try and get yourself to stop focusing on the fact Jungkook’s shirtless right now. If Jungkook knows you’re checking him out right now, which you’re sure he does, he doesn’t show it. In fact, surprisingly, he looks rather serious as he blurts out the reason why he’s here, getting straight to the point. “I can’t get you out of my mind, and I swear, I’ve tried. I think about you all the time.”

You take a step back, holding onto the door and trying to regain your balance since he’s making your mind spin out of control. Analysing his face, you try and find some sort of guilt or sign to see if he’s lying or not; however, if he is, you sure can’t tell. Giving him one last glance, you swiftly turn around and walk in the bathroom to grab a towel before going back.

“Wipe yourself off, you’re drenched.” You softly sass as you throw the towel at his face. He grabs it with a small look of surprise, and you know that the shock he feels isn’t from the towel-throwing action, but from your acceptance of his presence. Just before you turn your back to walk towards the couch, you catch him throw a lopsided smirk at you as he shuts the door behind him. Have I just let the devil into my home?

Jungkook plops down next to you, and you’re incredibly hyper-aware of how your legs make contact with each other. He leans back with ease and supports his head by propping his elbow on the back of the couch. You know he’s doing this on purpose, presenting himself as if to taunt you ‘here I am in all of my stupidly-attractive glory’; you know it’s a fucking trap, and yet, here you are, struggling to swallow from the scene in front of you. “You need to put on a shirt,” you mumble, quickly casting your eyes downwards to pick at your fingers.

“Well, I can’t exactly fit into one of yours, now can I?” He says jokingly while giving you a lopsided grin and tilting his head to the side. You softly pout and rack your mind to try and remember if you have anything that would fit him; unfortunately, your words are tumbling out faster than your brain can keep up, and you forget who you’re talking to for a minute.

“You can wear one of Ji—.”

The words get caught in your throat as you quickly clamp your mouth shut. Fuck, fuck, fuck! I did not just almost say ‘Jimin’, you scold yourself a thousand times mentally as you wish a hole would swallow you right up. Swiftly, you glance up to see Jungkook’s eyebrows furrow together, and you can tell he’s confused as to what you could possibly mean. The silence slowly starts to gnaw at you, and the longer it grows, the more you feel like you’re starting to sweat as you watch the emotions change on his face and his jaw gets tenser. Just when you think you’re going to have a confrontation, he just sighs and looks you up and down.

“You look good… like really good,” he mumbles out the end; however, you can still hear him clearly. The petty conscience in your brain throws out the thought ‘it must be because I’m not yours anymore’, but you swallow your spite down and opt on trying to focus on Jungkook. As you watch his tongue quickly dart out to pull his bottom lip in and bite down softly, you quickly come to regret your choice because suddenly you’re blushing and finding it hard to meet his eye yet again. You’re in such a state, you don’t even notice that you’re pressing your thighs together unconsciously to seek release; however, Jungkook certainly does.

He takes this chance to slide closer, now eliminating any space between the both of you. His arm is behind you resting on the back of the couch while his other hand moves towards you. You notice there’s a moment of hesitance, but it’s such a small one that you wonder if your mind is just playing tricks on you. Gently, he lays his hand on top of your thigh, and you can smell his minty breath softly hit your cheek as he hovers over you. You haven’t been this close to him, mentally or physically, in months, yet somehow you’re struggling terribly to gain back control over your own body. “W-what do you want?” You try to sound firm and unyielding; however, neither of you miss the stutter in your voice.

“A second chance,” he breathes before closing in on your neck. You feel him lightly nip at your neck and your breath hitches in your throat. You wish you could do something, throw him away or tug him closer, you don’t know nor care which, just something damnit, but your body and mind aren’t synched, and so you end up not moving at all.

His hand has now slid your oversized sweater down to expose your shoulder, and he’s slowly kissing and licking at your soft skin. As you feel his other hand slide up your thigh agonisingly slow, you realise your body has betrayed you by opening up your legs in the slightest. Your mind is screaming at your body, yelling for it to listen, yet, it seems your body is a fucking stubborn traitor. As if noticing your dilemma, Jungkook speaks up.

“If you say stop, I’m on the other side of the couch. You know I’ll stop if you don’t want this.” You hear him say, and somewhere in your mind, you feel like that should give you the strength to stop all of this. You know you need to send him on his way and not talk to him, just like Jimin told you to; however, it seems some part of you wants the exact opposite. Your mind is hazy, and your brain is beginning to hurt from thinking so much, so… fuck it.

In a blink of an eye, you have your hands twisted and entangled into his hair and knocking the breath from you by slamming your lips to his. You’re hungry, no, starving for his touch. You’ve been craving it for so long that it seems like something in you just snapped.

It genuinely surprises you when Jungkook responds with just as much vigour as he quickly hovers over you to yank your sweater off. His mouth greedily bites down on the skin around your chest as the both of you claw your back, racing to take off your bra. You both seem like absolute animals, and the thought only solidifies when you hear him growl as he snatches your shorts and thong off.

“Condom,” you rasp as you start to tug his grey sweatpants down. Hurriedly, he reaches into his pocket to pull out his wallet before tugging one out. You’re sure you would make some snide comment about keeping them in his wallet, but your hormones are too far gone for you to focus on anything but getting fucked.

Wasting no time, he pumps himself a few times before quickly rolling the condom on. He pulls you onto his lap, making you straddle him before you notice he grips your hips as if he’s about to lift you up. “Your bedroom’s still the one to the left, right?” He asks, and it takes a minute for you to actually process what he’s asking.

You’re about to sass him that it’s only been two weeks since you’ve broken up so, of course, it’s still in the same room; however, a thought hits you like a ton of bricks. You and Jimin have seen each other so much, he’s left multiple pieces of clothing in your bedroom. You’re not cheating since you and Jungkook aren’t together, and you both know the two of you are sleeping around, so you don’t understand why it would be a problem if he saw it; however, something in you still doesn’t want him to find out its actually Jimin you’ve been sleeping with.

“I can’t wait; I need you— God— just fuck me here.” You quickly respond, slamming your lips to his once again as you sink lower onto his hips to emphasis you aren’t going anywhere. It seems to work because he leans back, letting his eyes roam your hovering body as he rubs hard circles into your hips.

One of his hands slip down to where you need him the most, and as he runs his middle and ring finger through your folds, he lets out a needy groan before pulling his hand back up in front of the two of you. He looks from his hand to you, and you can see just how blown out his eyes look as he wriggles his fingers to show just how needy you are. “Holy fuck, _____, just how long were you horny for? You’re absolutely dripping.” Jungkook grunts before making eye contact with you and sticking his fingers in his mouth, making sure you watch as he sucks your arousal clean from his fingers.

“Fuck, I can’t wait— please. I need, oh fuck, I need—“You struggle to get yourself together to at least say something; however, Jungkook firmly grabs your hips and thrusts fully into you before you can finish. Your eyesight turns bleary, and you cry out at the sudden feeling of being full, but it feels so good, you can’t help but try and move your hips for more.

“Me. You need me.” Jungkook groans as his hands help set and keep pace for your hips to move on top of him. “You need me to make you feel good like the needy bitch you are, am I right? Is that why you actually responded to my texts for once? Hm?”

You can only moan as he tells you filthy things and you feel the imaginary knot in your stomach begin to form already. It’s been so, so, long since you’ve had sex with him; however, both of you still move together as if it’s only been days. That’s one of the things that you always loved about him, the chemistry in bed between the two of you was constantly hot, and he’s always known your body so well; it’s infuriating to know your body still thinks it belongs to him.

“Ah—I can feel you getting tighter, but you’re only going to come when I tell you to, right, baby? Because you’re still such a good little slut for me?” You mewl at his words, and even though you feel the tight, burning cramp in your hips, you keep pushing forward, trying to please him.

He sits up, wrapping his arms completely around your waist and holding on tight to not let go. You’re sure his grip is going to leave bruises, but even if it does, you don’t care at this point. His head dips down to bring a nipple into his mouth, and you thread your fingers into his hair, pulling him in even more. Your hot bodies are pressed together, and the closeness helps edge you nearer, feeling him thrust deeper inside. Your hands are roaming everywhere, and as you rake your nails harshly down his well-defined abs, you hear him groan into your skin, and there’s a quick, rough shove into you that makes your hips tingle. Without thinking, you moan out Jungkook’s name; however, a growl rips from his throat, and you realise the mistake you made all too late.

In a blink of an eye, he lifts you off of him and twirls you around to face the couch. You try to complain at the sudden feeling of being empty, but he pushes you forward, and your knees fall onto the cushions. He grapples onto your hips roughly as he enters you again and you start to moan at the feeling but are quickly cut off when his other hand grabs your hair and yanks it back so your throat’s at an awkward angle and exposed. You feel his hot breath hit the side of your face as he murmurs into your skin, “It’s only been a few weeks, and you’ve already forgotten my name, darling?”

The spitefulness and pettiness that you tried to swallow down earlier surges inside of you once again as a smirk spreads upon your face. “A few weeks? Huh, try a few months,” you scoff, trying your best to move your head to the side to see a better view of him; however, the tight grip he has on your hair doesn’t let you go far, “We stopped fucking long before we broke up, Jungkook.”

You see his infamous tongue-in-cheek move that you know he does when he’s getting irritated, and you just hate to admit that you’re the one getting under his skin. “I guess—ngh— that may be true; however, I still remember just how bratty you are,” Jungkook grunts into your ear before pounding into you sharply again, “and I still remember how to tame you”. With each sentence, his hips slam into yours deeper and harder, making you fall onto the couch’s back for support.

The hand that was once around your waist slithers up and grasps your neck, tightening until you’re barely getting any air supply, and slowly, your senses start to numb as your lips tingle, and the pressure in your ears build up. Jungkook releases his hold on your hair and quickly shoves his middle and ring finger down your throat as far back as it will go. You sputter and lightly gag as you try and rush to breathe; however, with his vice grip on your airway, it’s almost impossible.

His thrusts are agonisingly slow, and he makes sure you can feel every time he slips out before ramming back into you. His pace is deliberate, taking his sweet time to let you know your release is in his hands; however, he’s unyielding at how rough he’s with you. He wants you to know he’s there; he’s the one fucking you right here and now. He continues fingering your mouth, and you can feel the drool drip down and fall on your chest. You try and swallow to lessen how messy you must look, but he quickly catches on and shoves his fingers down onto your tongue, not allowing you to do so. Your nostrils flare, desperately trying to get more air into your lungs as a sound of pleasure slips out from your mouth.

“God, baby, look how filthy you are. You’re getting so dirty, yet you love every minute of it. You hear those sloppy, slick sounds coming from your pussy? That’s you needing me.” There’s something animalistic in the tone Jungkook is using, and you haven’t heard it in so long that you swear you’re about to come if he keeps speaking to you like that.

Once his hand is completely covered in your spit, he removes it from your mouth before putting the two fingers on your clit, making you moan loud enough to worry if your neighbours two doors down could hear. The mixed feeling between the heat of his cock inside you and the chill of his spit-covered fingers on your clit makes your back arch in indescribable pleasure as you listen to the sloshing from Jungkook rubbing you. The combination of your arousal and slobber makes you soaking wet, and you know there’s no way you’re not dripping on the couch; however, you’re too far gone to care.

You notice the grip on your throat loosens by just the slightest— not enough to stop the blood pounding in your ears, but enough to breathe in a small amount of oxygen to use this opportunity to beg. “Please, please! Shit, I’m so close. Please, let me come,” the words are rolling right off your lips without you even having to think about it, you so desperately need this, and you’ll be damned if Jungkook refuses you.

Quickly, the clutch on your throat tightens again, cutting off any further words. His fingers that were once going at a moderate pace are now going as fast as he possibly can, flicking your clit and making you cry out as your heart races in ecstasy. Your knees spread out further to try and allow him more access, making you sink down and Jungkook quickly adjusts, his body in tune with yours. The pressure in your ears is at a maximum, and your lips are buzzing from the lack of oxygen. All senses are about to be deprived, and if it were anyone but Jungkook, you’d be scared to death; however, you trust him—more than you’d like to admit— during rough sex like this.

Your house is filled with nothing but vile sounds of wetness, skin slapping, Jungkook’s grunts, your extremely loud moaning. If anyone were to walk by, they’d think this was a whore house, yet, you’d have no problem with that at this point. Your voice is raspy from all of your cries, and once more, Jungkook leans in until his tongue is licking the shell of your ear before biting down on it.

“Say it. What’s my name, baby? God, no one but you can use it—fuck—, just say it, _____. Say it, and I swear you can come.” This time it’s Jungkook’s turn to plead in your ear. You almost don’t hear him from him depriving your senses; however, you can tell the needy tone in his voice, and it sparks an ignition inside of you. He’s teetering, on the verge of whimpering, and he wants this just as bad, if not more.

“Daddy! Oh fuck, Daddy!” You scream out his former name you used to call him in bed, no longer able to contain yourself, and hearing what you said, he’s right there with you. He lets go of your neck and allows the oxygen to come rushing back inside your lungs, overloading all of your senses. Suddenly, you’re hypersensitive to his cock pounding into you and his fingers playing with your clit, the impact of your skin touching and his breath hitting your skin; it all overwhelms you enough to be your final push to orgasm.

“Fuck, you’re such a good girl for Daddy— holy fuck, you’re so tight; it’s throbbing, ngh, shit!” Jungkook grunts loudly, swiftly moving up his hand that was once around your neck to grapple your hair once again. Your scalp stings in pain, but your high overrides it and makes it pleasurable.

You can feel his dick twitch from inside of you, and you know he’s close to coming. Still flicking his hand to get you off, he pulls your hair a little tighter, and you reach back to grab his ass and pull him back into you, this time deeper than he’s been. It’s enough to send him over the edge, all of his strength and weight colliding into you and making you fall onto the couch’s back. He whines out your name before biting down hard on your shoulder as he finishes riding off his high.

You have a quick thought, wondering if the bite will mark since it feels like it’s broken skin, but as he slides out of you, the question’s suddenly lost. You fall to the side, completely exhausted, and being mindful of the wet spot on the couch. Your eyes glide over to the beauty that’s still hovering in the same place, his arm supporting all of his weight and he’s heavily panting, looking completely spent. He swallows, lets out an exhale, and rakes his fingers through his sweaty hair before giving you a glance.

Jungkook swiftly gets up and reaches for the towel you threw at him earlier while sliding off his condom. He goes into the kitchen and discards it before wetting the cloth and coming back to you. Before you can ask what’s he doing, he speaks “spread your legs” and begins to wipe you down.

After he’s done cleaning you, he crashes down next to you and swings an arm around your head. Still feeling the after-buzz, you don’t think much as you lean into him and readjust your head, so he’s supporting it. He starts playing with your hair lazily, and you giggle. “Thanks for the aftercare.”

“Mm,” is all he responds, continuing his action while you both lay together, silently catching your breath. “I’m surprised you didn’t freak out when I went right in to choke you and turned rough,” Jungkook randomly notes.

You turn your head slightly until both of you are making eye contact. Making sure your face shows how serious you are, you softly respond. “You’re one of the only people that knows me so well sexually. I spent two years with you.”

Thinking Jungkook would look away from the amount of honesty you’re giving him, it genuinely surprises you when he looks you dead in the eye, returning your blow with his own words. “Spend more with me.”

Your heart clenches in emotional pain and turbulent confusion, and you can’t help but turn away, not wanting to look at him anymore. His words make the reality come crashing back down on you as you’re left realising you just had sex with your ex-boyfriend, Jungkook, when you’re desperately trying to get over him. You don’t know what makes you decide to ask, but whatever it is, it’s too late to stop it as the words are already tumbling out of your mouth. “Are you seeing anyone?” Nicee…Good job on sounding like you don’t care.. not.

You can feel his body go rigid, and his hand movements of playing with your hair come to a stop. You quietly sigh, knowing he took it the way you didn’t want him to take it, so you quickly clarify. “I know you’re sleeping around, Jungkook. Hell, I am too,” you try and assure him, “I just want to know if you’re seeing or talking to anyone in particular.” You quickly add the thought, technically I’m only ‘seeing’ Jimin, but Jungkook sure as hell doesn’t have to know that.

“Oh, then no, not really,” Jungkook responds, easing up slightly before turning the tables back to you. “Who are you sleeping with?”

This time, it’s your turn to close up and try and find an out to this. You turn to look in Jungkook’s eyes, trying to read his facial expressions to see if he’s just lightly continuing the conversation; however, he’s as serious as can be. There’s a moment of silent hesitance before speaking up in a slightly-joking tone, “that’s only ‘boyfriend-candidate’ perks”.

You sit up, needing to get as far away as you can from him and quickly pick up your sweater. “How do I upgrade?” Jungkook responds, sitting up to follow you with the same serious look on his face. You hurriedly shove the sweater over your head and stand up to hover over him, not liking the mental disadvantage of being the same level as him. “It’s none of your business.”

Jungkook sighs, letting the disappointment visibly show on his face as he gets up and puts his pants back on. As he quickly slides on his shoes and tidies his hair, you make a comment about how it’s getting late to try and get him to the door quicker. He nods, noting how he should get going now, yet his feet trudge to the door slower than you’d like.

As you open the door for him and he steps out, he turns back to you once more to open his stupidly-perfect mouth. “Think about us?” He breathes out, and you can see the pleading look swimming in his eye. All you can do is sigh, not feeling the fight enough to try and say anything snarky, so instead, you just respond “okay” before closing the door.

You make sure Jungkook walks off your property completely before your knees give out and you sink to the floor. “What am I doing?!” You scream aloud, your tone full of frustration as you rake your fingers through your hair. You’re confused and so conflicted, it feels like the world is spinning faster than you can handle.

Before your mind can spiral out of control, your phone ‘dings’ letting you know you’ve gotten a text. Pulling yourself together, you walk over to grab it and quickly read the screen, tsking.

Jimin: Got my results back, I’m clean~ Jimin: -photo attached- Jimin: I’m so sorry, I was busy at work >.< but I’m finally free! Jimin: You still in the mood? I can swing by

You should be ecstatic that you can finally fuck bareback with him; however, your mind’s shut down from all the events, and you’re definitely not in the mood now.

You: sorry, but not tonight. You: i’m not feeling too good anymore so i’m going to sleep

Locking your phone, you head to the kitchen and open the fridge, dying of thirst. You have various different fruit juices and milk; however, your eyes immediately fall to the bottle of unopened Moscato. Flashbacks to the night of you and Jungkook flood your mind, but your mood is already down, so the memories couldn’t possibly make it worse; in fact, your sour state of mind is ready to fight anything, especially the god-forbidden flashbacks.

“Fuck it,” you mutter angrily, grabbing the whole bottle and opening it. Your eyes glance back at the cabinet that stores the glasses; however, you just jeer at it as you take a swig from the whole bottle, planning on drinking the entire thing.

Walking back into your bedroom, your eyesight falls to Jimin’s clothing that’s on the floor, and it makes you check your phone, wondering if he even responded.

Jimin: That’s totally fine! I hope you feel better soon~ Jimin: I’ll check up with you tomorrow, let me know if you need anything <3

You know you shouldn’t blame things on Jimin, and you know it’s not his fault deep down; however, you’re tired and angry, and you don’t want to take responsibility for your own actions, so you choose to blame him anyway.

“Fuck you, Jimin. Why are you so good to me?” You angrily exclaim to no one before taking another hateful swig of the sweet wine. “Why couldn’t you respond sooner, damnit. Then maybe I wouldn’t have done this, and maybe I wouldn’t be so fucking confused. Ugh. I hate men and I hate fate.”

112 notes · View notes

winsister91 · 6 years ago

Text

Resistance...

Summary: She’s a seasoned Omega. Has her own routine and way to deal with her biology and she’s happy, to an extent. Until her Alpha shows up and throws a damn spanner in the works.

Characters: Alpha!Sam x Omega!Reader, Alpha!Dean

Warnings: A/B/O dynamics, mild dub-con maybe? and angst? IDK... chasing, submission, loss of ice cream

Word Count: 3200~

What’s A/B/O? Check out Rhi’s guide!

My Masterlist!

~ Sam and forever tags are open! ~

A/N: Uh oh. I went and fell into a Sam hole in my absence, and an a/b/o hole too! I blame @sofreddie and I’m sure she relishes that ;) This is my first go at a/b/o and I’m a lil nervous, so I kept it relatively safe and there’s no smut on this occasion, so please be gentle with me you horny animals. Here goes nothing!

The air started to acquire a chill in its undertones as Y/N walked down the high street. Her pace slightly quickened, noting the sky starting to go dark. Glancing at her watch, she realized she was due another dose suppressants soon and she rolled her eyes. It's not like she was worried about Alphas. She hated the stigma of Omega being submissive and vulnerable little things, ‘cause that’s everything she wasn’t. She carried herself with confidence, on the off chance some yappy little Alpha shithead came creeping, she could have them running with their tail between their legs with a simple one-liner and a look. She could detect them when they were near, Alphas had a particular stench about them that made her skin crawl. There had been exceptions, some of them carried a particular delectable flavor that had peaked her interests on more than one occasion, but not enough to accept a claim. Her toying with such Alpha’s had certainly had its consequences. She’d been beaten before, stalked, she’d had to resort to moving town more than once too. But not once had she ever been bitten, claimed or knotted, when it didn’t feel right, her determination to ensure it didn’t happen was beyond scary. Hence her hardened exterior to the apparent dominate gender. So, it wasn’t that she feared Alpha’s picking up on her Omega scent, more that she couldn’t be bothered with the hassle. She’d had to deal with this shit her entire life, it really was a chore and a bore now.

Clutching her bag of groceries to her chest, she continued to walk, well, more like a march at this point. As she reached the outskirts of town, her defenses lowered a little as the streets became more sparse of people. It was only another block or so until she reached her apartment, she wondered what show on Netflix she was going to binge that night, clutching to her bag with a grin as she thought of the tub of Ben and Jerry’s amongst the goods. It couldn’t be a late night though, she had work the next day and she groaned audibly at the thought. Office jobs were the definition of tedious and brain rotting, but it paid the bills. Maybe just half the tub of ice cream tonight then, she thought with a sigh.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket, just outside a little burger joint she often frequented when she couldn’t be bothered to cook. She stopped in her tracks, fumbling into her pocket to retrieve still buzzing phone, just as she heard the doors of the burger place open behind her.

She looked at the screen, seeing her alarm on screen that she set to remind herself to take her suppressants. “I know,” she scoffed irritably, swiping the screen and shoving the annoying device back in her pocket.

As she straightened her back something made her body freeze momentarily. A scent. Something completely new, and she’d never encountered anything remotely like it. It was a smell that seemed to have everything desirable to her, freshly baked bread, chocolate, whiskey, and the smell of new books.

She heard steps coming from the doorway behind her, and her body instinctively turned, the scent growing stronger as her eyes found it’s source. Alpha, her mind sung to her, seeing a tall man before her, clad in jeans, flannel shirt and an incredibly cozy and inviting brown jacket. His long dark hair caressed his face, where a rough stubble beard was starting to grow through and she already imagined how it would feel scratching and rubbing against her neck.

She stepped back slightly, mild panic tingling in her chest at her body’s reaction to the stranger. This was… different. He seemed somewhat taken aback too, stopping in his tracks as his eyes locked on to her. His mouth hung slightly open and his brow furrowed a little. She could hear him breathe in deeply, given the side glances she’d been getting from passing mated Alphas in town, her scent was evidently growing potent and he was taking it in.

In a weird sensation where it felt like time stood still, they just looked at each other, not saying a word as their eyes scanned and their bodies didn’t move.

“Hey, Sam!” A voice came from inside, and another man pushed through the door. He was Alpha too, his scent unusually sweet and comforting, but the scent of the first Alpha, Sam, drowning it out almost instantly. The shorter haired Alpha continued to speak, “What’s the hold-up?”

Sam gulped slightly, blinking fast and unable to take his gaze off Y/N. “Dean,” he said lowly, nodding in her direction.

Y/N froze, watching the new Alpha’s eyes fall on her. Two Alphas plus one Omega usually equals a whole new world of shit based on her past experience.

“Hey there,” Dean said with a smirk, side-eyeing Sam with a raised eyebrow before looking back at her, “Excuse my brother, he can be a bit...off sometimes.”

“Dean…” Sam exhaled in frustration and rolled his eyes, “Just shut up for a second and listen to me.”

She watched with a puzzled expression as the Alpha’s started to bicker. Normally Alphas would start fighting over an Omega, but with actual fists. Not with snarky, almost childish, comments that made the Omega smirk.

“I’m listening and I’m hearing you loud and clear,” Dean smirked devilishly, “But I thought you were the one who always says-” he adopted a mocking voice, “-We’re on a ‘case’, we don’t have time to go chasing some Omega.”

“Hey, standing right here,” she retorted, gulping as both sets of Alpha eyes locked on her. As confident as she was with handling herself, two Alphas at the same time was always a tricky situation.

“I do not sound like that!” Sam protested, looking back to Dean.

“Listen, Sweetheart,” Dean ignored his brother and instructed to Y/N, “You just carry on home and forget you ever saw us.”

She furrowed her brow, Well, that’s a new one.

“Dean,” Sam growled with a clenched jaw as he grabbed Dean’s jacket sleeve. Y/N did tense at that, she planned on waiting for the fists to start flying and hoped she could make a sneaky getaway.

“The hell has gotten into you, Sammy?” Dean shook his head in disbelief, shoving him away, “I mean, don’t get me wrong she’s quite something,” he shot Y/N a wink and she rolled her eyes in response, “But c’mon man, we really do have work to do. I feel so wrong saying that by the way.”

If she could commend the duo in front of her of anything, it was their confidence and self-control. She’d seen Alphas practically lose their shit at the mere whiff of an Omega scent, especially unclaimed. These two were practically having their own conversation and barely acknowledging her. To say that was the opposite of good manners, she was impressed and intrigued by it. Dean was cute, and certainly an Alpha she was confident she would consider pursuing if given the opportunity. Sam though, he stole the show despite her not having any direct interaction with him other than staring. Just allowing her eyes to meet his set her pulse racing and her mind became a flood of pornographic fantasies. She felt urges to touch him, taste him, totally drown in everything that was...Sam.

He’s so damn tall… she swooned internally, I wanna just, scrunch my hands up in that gorgeous hair…What is with the size of those hands!? Heh...well we all know what that means.

It was almost unsettling, her automatic logic telling her to get out of there, but her curiosity and need screaming for her to see where this was going. The result is her stood on the spot, clutching her bag of groceries and feeling a damp patch spread through the paper bag onto her jacket as the ice cream was slowly defrosting.

“I know, Dean, all right,” Sam said frantically, eager to make his point as he looked back at Y/N and clenched his jaw, “But...that’s my Omega.”

“Y-yours?” Dean’s tone quickly changed as his brow raised at Sam’s statement, “As in… yours, yours?”

Y/N’s stomach rolled as she watched Sam nod and her mind raced.

My Alpha? She questioned to herself, eyes locked on to the taller Alpha. She’d assumed all the ‘true mate’ theories were just urban myths. Stories created to romanticize the true nature of their biology. It felt like her entire belief system was rapidly changing just by glancing into a set of hazel eyes.

And it freaked her the fuck out.

“Sam…?” Dean mumbled, scratching his head, “I...I think your Omega just bolted.”

“What?” Sam turned back to where she once stood, now just a bust bag of groceries on the ground amid a puddle of melted ice cream, and the blur of her coat dashing down the alley by the side of the burger joint.

°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

Fuck, I really wanted that ice cream, she whined in her head as her quick heels carried her to the end of the alley. She breathed a sigh of relief, seeing a hidden away pile of crates and boxes that she’d assembled months ago. She’d planted numerous escape routes across the city, she knew many of the twists, turns and hidden snickets. Par for the course when you’re an unclaimed Omega and a self-proclaimed pro at ditching sniffing Alphas. She hopped on the stack, being sure to kick it down once she was half over the wall at the end of the alley, before dropping down on the other side, she dared to glance behind her at the sound of heavy thudding footsteps.

There he was, pursuing. His brow furrowed in confusion as he stopped and watched her sat up on the high wall.

“What are you doing?” he huffed breathily, his chest heaving slightly from the sudden fast movement of running after her.

“Nope,” she squeaked, finally dropping down on the other side. She leaned back against the cold brick wall, panting for breath and trying to slow her thumping heart. She could still smell him, if anything his scent was growing stronger, he must’ve been right up against the wall on the opposite side. His scent was so dreamy, making her close her eyes and lose herself in it momentarily. She felt her stomach roll and her thighs clench together automatically.

What the fuck is happening? She panicked in thought, This has never fucking happened. EVER.

There was movement behind the wall and it snapped her back to reality. She looked up, seeing a pair of hands grasp the bricks at the top.

“Shit!” she hissed, panic grasping at her heart once more as she instantly dashed. She’d underestimated just how tall this Alpha was, he’s actually climbing the fricking wall!?

On her side of the wall was a small labyrinth of interconnected alleys that snaked behind numerous shops and eventually leading down to a small housing estate. She knew the twists and turns like the back of her hand, darting down different paths and even circling herself, she knew he’d follow her scent, so doing this might confuse and throw him off.

After a short while of drawing a convoluted trail with her scent, she hopped a small fence which she knew lead to a small woodland area. A small pocket of nature in the middle of a mass of houses and apartments. During the day it provided a small picturesque escape from city life, at night it was an oddly intimidating space, definitely not somewhere a lonely Omega should wander, but that’s what she counted on. He’d never expect her to go running in here, the spot was renowned for shady activities under the cover of night, safely hidden away by the trees.

When her feet crunched on the fallen leaves and soil on the other side of the fence she ducked and looked behind her again, eyes peeping over and keeping a watchful eye for her pursuer.

It was eerily quiet. She could still smell him somewhere, but it was faint and she couldn’t pinpoint exactly where it was coming from. After a minute or so she sighed, concluding she must have lost him and the scent was just lingering. She turned and slid down the fence until her butt hit the ground, she breathed deeply and ran a hand through her hair.

He could still be around, waiting for me to come out or something, she thought, her eyes flitting side to side, Just lay low here a little longer, then head home.

Bunching her knees to her chest, she checked her watch, deciding fifteen minutes is a decent enough wait time. Her mind wandered as it tried to kill time, and it could only think about one thing. Sam.

My Alpha....is he really my Alpha? She bunched herself tighter, biting her bottom lip, Nah, I mean, all that stuff is bullshit right? True mates? That’s just fucking ludicrous, every single Omega has one singular Alpha out there that’s meant for them? I mean, that’s just unfathomable! Nevermind the odds of actually meeting them being next to impossible…

Her ears pricked up at the sound of rustling leaves nearby and the snap of a twig. She narrowed her eyes and scanned around, mentally preparing herself for another dash. She couldn’t see anything...but she could still smell that lingering scent. She looked at her watch again, ten minutes to go.

But what if he really is? And I just literally bolted. She huffed a small laugh and shook her head. Nah, maybe just some new Alpha tactic to make us ‘sweet little Omegas’ submit quicker and easier. I ain't buying that, although...damn he is...heh...certainly not harsh on the eyes. If I was in heat, I’d consider letting him ‘ride’ me through it. She smirked knowingly, All that ‘My Omega’ stuff though...he’d be so fast to claim, I’m not sure I could drop everything like that. I’ve made it this far on my own after all…

She looked at her watch again, five more minutes. Everything was still quiet and the sky had grown completely dark now, the air growing bitterly cold. She pushed herself to her feet, deciding to just start the journey home now.

That scent. As she stood at her full height she felt a fresh wave of it pass her nose and she shuddered as her stomach rolled again hungrily.

“Omega…” his voice carried through the trees, his firm tone and use of the word nearly made her damn legs buckle, “Don’t try running again.”

She froze on the spot as her eyes frantically scanned around, he was nowhere to be seen, but his scent was strong, mind-foggingly strong. Is he hiding amongst the trees somewhere? How the hell did he find me?

“Can’t you just leave me alone?” she called out into the trees, the cold air and her building anxiety making the hairs rise on her skin, “I don’t need an Alpha.”

“I’m sure you don’t,” he answered, “I can tell by your scent, you’re strong, independent, but...frustrated.”

“Frustrated,” she scoffed, rolling her eyes, “So I submit to you and all my problems are over? That’s some cliche Alpha bullshit right there.”

There was a growl that carried across the breeze, it stirred something deep down and she clenched her jaw to bite it back.

“You’re mine, Omega,” he countered, “That also means I’m yours. Just wanna take care of you.”

“I can take care of myself,” she bit back, but a small tremble in her voice. Even though she couldn’t see him, just...that scent. It was damn intoxicating like she was being indoctrinated by it. Her body screamed for more of it, to find its source and drown in it, and that fucking terrified her even more. “You don’t even know me, or my name.”

“So tell me, ‘cause trust me I wanna know everything.”

She couldn’t stop the smile that tugged at the corner of her lips, she bit her tongue and sighed, relenting to give him one small slice of information, “It’s...Y/N…” she said quietly, still searching wildly for where he could be hiding.

“Y/N…” he breathed like her name was something mystical and magical, “I’m Sam.”

“Kinda figured back there,” she retorted, positive she just saw some movement amongst the leaves to her right. She took a deep breath, adjusting her footing as she got ready to move, “It’s been a pleasure Sam, but I really need to be getting home.”

She moved quickly before he could respond, her eyes set on the path she’d set in her mind. She hopped over a small pile of fallen branches, ducked under some long hanging foliage and leaped into a run. She couldn’t hear any movement behind her, her heart sinking. He’s not following. That’s a good thing brain! Not bad!

She continued to move, despite not hearing any following movements, that scent was growing chokingly thick and potent to the point it nearly made her eyes roll in bliss. W-why am I running again?

A shadow moved. Before she could react a pair of arms had whipped around her waist and pulled her to the side. She squeaked in shock, everything moving in a blur as she was spun and forced back against a tree. Her eyes focused in the darkness and it was Sam. He gazed down at her with dark eyes and a heaving chest.

“Told you not to run again,” he growled, pushing his body flush against hers so she was pinned between him and the tree trunk.

“Oh fuck…” she moaned, his scent flooding her head now he was so close. She initially tried to push back against him and wriggle free, but her body was quick to grow limp as she got drunk off that sweet smell and his body was warm and welcoming as it pressed into her. She planted her hands on his torso, trying one more time to push which ultimately lead to her almost collapsing into his chest, “Sam…”

“Y/N…” he hummed, leaning further into her and ghosting his lips across her neck. He breathed her in, a low rumble echoing from his throat, “Mine…”

He grabbed her chin, forcing her to look up at him. All she could muster was a small whimper, something completely out of character for her. In the short space of time she’d known this Alpha, he seemed to draw out numerous ‘out of character’ things from her.

He forcefully collided with her lips, moaning over them hungrily as his hand snaked up her sides and laid flat across her lower back. His hips jerked forward, pushing into her almost painfully. Her fists clenched at her sides, her eyes tightly shut as she tapped into her last ounce of resistance. His tongue stroked eagerly across her bottom lip and fingers pressed deeper into her back, her body sang and her brain struggled to hold the Omega back much longer.

Her lips parted, and his tongue dove in, finding hers and quickly capturing and twirling with it. Her fists fell loose, and she leaned into him, tilting her head so he could deepen the kiss even further. He eventually released her mouth, dropping his forehead on hers and breathing shakily as he gazed down into her eyes.

“Alpha…” she whispered, tugging harshly on his shirt to pull his lips back to hers.

Okay, this is certainly better than Ben and Jerry’s...

Think this needs more? Hit me up and lemme know!

Tags!

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hogwartswnw · 5 years ago

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Week Of 29/9/19 /// WW Post

What with events, dances and wholesome romance, we've got a fair bit to get through today, so let's get into it!

Officially Dating and a Secret Past~!

(Submitted by Jules!)

Character Name: Tatiana 'Ana' Alexin

Character House: Slytherin

Other Characters Involved: Augustine Deveraux

Channel: #entrance-hall #village #madam-puddifoots

Timeline: This happened during the Hogsmeade weekend, not long after the incident where Ana sprained her ankle.

At last, they finally had their "date." Though it was more of a way for Ana to return the favors that she owed Augustine, it proved to be enjoyable for the both of them after finally acknowledging their attraction for one another. The "date" started awkwardly for Ana, who never went on dates before and had no idea how to act around the more experienced Augustine. They originally planned to have coffee at Madam Puddifoots but after seeing the bright pink decorations, both decided to just buy the drinks and cakes and enjoy them elsewhere in a picnic of sorts.

While enjoying their snacks, they started to get to know more about each other. Awkward questions were asked: What did Augustine want from her? Were they considered dating? Who was he (as a person)? Eventually, these questions led to the boy finally asking Ana if she wanted to be his girlfriend, a role which she shyly accepted. Giving him her trust, she opened up about her sad past, something which she never did before. It led her to tears and to Augustine trying to comfort her.

Halfway through, Augustine mentioned his missing silver box, the one that he was anxiously looking for at the dungeons that fateful day. From his description, Ana confessed to finding it at the underground chamber. Unfortunately, she forgot that she still had it in her bag and accidentally dropped the box, causing the contents (pieces of torn and burnt muggle photos) to spill on the picnic blanket. Augustine, seeing that Ana, a Pureblood, wasn't repulsed by the muggle objects, finally revealed his half-blood background and showed her his muggle mother's patched picture. Seeing a rare side of him, Ana was moved and felt even more connected with Augustine.

Ana was about to ask for more questions but Augustine teasingly suggested a "Truth or Dare" to make it more fun. Before they could start the game though, it suddenly rained heavily, which ended their picnic and had them scrambling for shelter.

IRP Public Knowledge: They held hands as they walked from the Great Hall to Hogsmeade village and Madam Puddifoots. Anyone who were present in those locations could've seen them.

WHEW! That was a long one, but onto the next post!

A wholesome reunion~!

(Submitted by Classy!)

Character Name: Gale Landgrave

Your Character House: Ravenclaw!!

Other Characters Involved: Flora Deniau-

Channel: #empty-classroom

Timeline: Over the weekend

Summary: Gale was quite sad after their breakup and so was flora. He found her in the classroom and decided to try and talk things over to see how she was feeling. Turns out she missed him as much as he missed her. One thing lead to another and they were practically emitting happiness. As they continued to have wholesome Funtime together. Words, kisses, and hugs were exchanged. Finally to cap it all off. Gale asked flora out on a date! They planned on meeting at the room of requirement to Gale’s delight. He finally gets to spend some quality time with his special girl once again! Let’s see how it goes! High pitched girl squeal!

IRP Knowledge: Gale hasn’t told anyone, idk about Flora. Anyone who might’ve walked past might’ve seen them because they were all over each other most of the time.

Same Classy, same. Who doesn't love wholesome romance? Onto the next one!

Bittersweet Advice~!

(Submitted by Miriam!)

Character Name: Kaithlin Lyander

Your Character House: Hufflepuff

Other Characters Involved: Christian W., Art Huntington

Channel: #black-lake, #aux-comc-class, #first-floor-corridors

Timeline: A few weeks before the break until this weekend.

Summary: In her third year, Kaithlin met Art and became friends with him. She already knew Christian, though she didn't like him too much, but she soon found out that the two were dating. Kaithlin realized that Art had his doubts about their relationship, because Christian never told him what he realy felt. Kaithlin decided to confront Christian about it, because she had been in the same situation as Art and it had ended bad for her. She told Christian to tell Art what he felt for once, before it would be too late. That happened before the summerbreak and eventhough Christian had told her he would do it, she realizes he hadn't done it after the summer break. But, eventually Art told her Christian confessed about his feelings. Though Kaithlin has some conflict with Christian herself, she is very happy to hear he finally did what she advised him to do.

IRP Public Knowledge: The only ones who know about this whole thing are Kaithlin, Art and Christian.

There's a lot of romance in the server, isn't there folks? Whelp, onwards and upwards!

New Experiences~!

(Submitted by Madi!)

Character Name: Axel Durnhollow

Your Character House: Ravenclaw

Other Characters Involved: Lucien A.

Channel: #r-dancing-hall #the-clock-tower

Timeline: Started this Monday

Summary: Axel was nervous about going to the Ravenclaw dance and was discouraged because she didn't have a date. However, she ran into Lucien and they had a conversation. Well, it was more of a shouting match, but she asked him to go with her, so it was a success. Axel was SUPER excited to go to the dance, and while she wasn't so excited about Lucien, he turned out to be nice. He showed her how to dance and she enjoyed the new experience. Although they're technically still there, that'll probably be all of it.

IRP Public Knowledge: Really just anyone who saw them at the dance or in the clock tower.

Finally, something non-romantic! There's friendships here too, everyone! XD

Level Up~!

(Submitted by Lizhi!)

Character Name: Jasmine Ze Liau

Your Character House: Ravenclaw

Channel: #greenhouses

Timeline: Since the beginning of the term

Summary: Jasmine is training to be an animagus! She began the Mandrake Leaf Cycle at the beginning of the term, and had it in from full moon to full moon. She has begun her partial transformations, and is currently on Level 2 I believe.

IRP Public Knowledge: Nobody knows, unless a roommate of Jasmine found a Mandrake Leaf in the trash.

Hold on tight, Jasmine! You've only got a little longer to go before you can transform!

An Awkward Encounter~!

(Submitted by Madi!)

Character Name: Axel Durnhollow

Your Character House: Ravenclaw

Other Characters Involved: Alex Lévêque

Channel: #tapestry-corridor

Timeline: Saturday, 9/21

Summary: Axel was pacing and reading her book when she tripped. She fell to the ground and felt extremely embarrassed, but was very thankful that the hallway had been empty. As turned out, it wasn’t empty, and instead, someone had been sitting in the corner reading. They sat and had a conversation about books and Metamorphagi (yes that’s a word). Eventually, the conversation lulled and there was an awkward silence. Axel quickly made her leave, hoping to avoid anything too weird.

IRP Knowledge: They weren’t too hidden, so really anyone trying to listen would hear them.

Whew, that was awkward! Onto a breath of fresh air, everyone!

Wholesome Quidditch Romance~!

(Submitted by LunaMoonie!)

Character Name: Lena Wolfbane

Your Character House: Ravenclaw

Other Characters Involved: Gavin Landgrave

Channel: #quidditch-pitch #astronomy-tower

Timeline: During the weekend

Summary: Gavin and Lena found each other in the astronomy tower, where Gavin wrapped his arms around her and held her. Lena suggested flying in their broomsticks for a bit, so he swooped her up and carried Lena to the quidditch pitch. They shared a broom, which Gavin flew first. In the excitement, they both stood up on the broom, Lena doing more effortlessly than Gavin. They switched sides so now Lena was flying the broom, and did some loops in the air, hoping not to drop Gavin (luckily she didn’t). Once they’d stopped looping and were just floating mid-air, Gavin started saying sweet things to Lena. She decided to trick him a little, and pretended she didn’t feel the same way he felt. Seeing Gavin hurt though made her feel ashamed, as she flew the broom back to the ground. Once the broom was back in its place, Gavin and Lena decided to forget that little trick and exchanged kisses, sweet words (mostly by Gavin) and holding her in his arms. Now Lena is asleep in his arms, in some minutes of wholesomeness.

IRP Knowledge: Anyone who was passing by who might’ve saw them being together flying or just being wholesome.

Even they admit they're being wholesome!

Wholesome Cowards~!

(Submitted by Miriam!)

Character Name: Arthur Jones

Your Character House: Gryfindor

Other Characters Involved: Minhee Hyeseong

Channel: #courtyard , #g-common-room, #astronomy-tower, #training-grounds

Timeline: A few weeks until today

Summary: At the week of the picknick event, Arthur found Minhee together with Kaithlin. They went down to the training grounds, where he ate some of the food. After blurting out to Minhee that she was cute, he quickly left the fields, because he was ashamed. A few days later, Minhee found him and she ended up confessing her feelings to him. Now, they have been dating for a few weeks, both, feeling happier then they have ever felt and finally not feeling alone anymore.

IRP Public Knowledge: Kaithlin was there at the picknick when he blurted out that Minhee was cute. But she doesn't know about the fact that they are now dating. The only one who does know about the dating for sure is Christian. But anyone who has seen the two of them together, might suspect they are dating, because they are sometimes kissing in public.

WHEW!

Okay everyone, I think that's everything for my first week!

Thanks for sticking around and being patient with me!

I also might do server themed shitposts since that's what I'm probably known for at this point skdksndjs

Have a good day, ladies, lords and non-binary royalty!

Love ya!

Queen 👑

#roleplay #harry potter #hp #hprp #literate roleplay #tea #tea sis #witch weekly #ww #witch weekly post #writing

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fireeaglespirit · 8 years ago

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So.. finally we have GoT back.

It was a bit too slow for my tastes, and perhaps due to my constant visits to watchers on the wall, kinda spoiled almost everything.. but still..

The episode had such endearing moments! I think my favorite part was the Hound, tbh he’s so good. That whole part was great and just added some interesting layers to the story and his character in general.. he’s really the damn gravedigger of AFFC if that wasn't obvious xD

Good things:

0. Lyanna Mormont, the best thing ever... and Jon. Indeed he’s seen what females are capable of when given the means to fight... its like a new era is coming to Westeros. Wars have this good side that makes things change, as it happened in our own world, women finally got more roles since war demanded it... things just have to evolve fast and there’s no time for stupid non sense.

1. Dany, obviously I’ve been waiting to see this for years, and in the next ep. or soon we’ll see the most expected reunion of Ice and Fire :3 that little Missandei touch... such good scenes

2. Arya kicking ass and avenging her family while still keeping her humanity intact, oh I love how she kept women alive and the little encounter with the soldiers was good in some ways.

3. Cersei queen, no need to serve any men anymore, oh thats somewhat delicious to see...

4. Bran and esp Meera finally having some peace and time to breath

5. Jon and Sansa was nice, I feared it would be a disaster... well I love that Sansa is keeping LF in check. And Brienne and Tormund, gah! I can’t wait to see the crypt scenes next week... Jon is coming along a very good king as expected.

6. Jorah, omg.. hope this guy gets alright.

Not so good things:

1. The pace was too slow for my tastes? idk... felt like omg we have only 6 episodes left. They better start heating things up...

2. As much as I like the Sam stuff, just too much time spent on unnecessary poop (it was hilarous but..) and just to discover something we already knew??? Sam I love you but this episode wasn’t so great for you. I think good things will come of this storyline anyway so I’ll be patient.

3. No Ghost as always, FFS. I love those wolves... just don’t kill them off, ok?? So many are dead already.

4. Euron is weird, I mean... he isn't doing much for me and looks like a modern guy with that outfit, just weird. I’m not a big fan of the Greyjoy storyline in general.... just Yara/Asha, she is nice. See her next ep.

I’m mostly excited to the next episode.. for fucks sake I need Nymeria and Arya reunion. And finally the Jon reveal we’ve been promised xD

#GoT #game of thrones #asoiaf #review #sort of

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kinetic-elaboration · 4 years ago

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October 20: Mr. Robot 2x12

Watched the finale of Mr. Robot S2 tonight. I... was probably too tired to really appreciate it, but here are a few notes anyway. Mostly about Dom and Darlene lol.

Seeing Elliot as Mr. Robot is so weird. Rami as Mr. Robot, I guess I should say.

So either Tyrell also recited the red wheelbarrow poem to someone else, or, and I assume this is right, Elliot passed it on to Dark Army. I feel like that’s the biggest immediate hint that this takes place in the past--later obviously they’re not at Coney Island but sometimes it’s hard to remember things from one scene to the next imo.

I don’t know if I have the brain for this.

Darlene. :(

What an intro, though. Great resolution to the cliffhanger of who died (not that it would have been really realistic for Darlene to die this early but like...anything is possible).

Santiago trying to be the bad cop. The Patriot Act doesn’t negate the Constitution for citizens like talk like you’re the smartest person in the room all you want Constitution > statutes is still how it works.

All these USA references--imo probably not what will age best from this show. “Characters like you aren’t welcome here.”

“We’re going to be best friends.” Well....she’s not entirely wrong, timeline aside.

I completely forgot about this whole Scott Knowles pretending to be Tyrell thing. Sooooo boring.

Maybe it’s supposed to be another personal thing that has greater implications politically but...idk he’s really only fucking with Joanna, who is boring and unimportant. I guess it could be a double fake out meant to make the ending more suspenseful. A lot of people had been arguing since s1 that Tyrell was another personality, something I always thought was batshit insane and unbelievable. However, just because he’s real in S1 doesn’t mean he’s still real. So, you have Elliot convinced he’s dead and Joanna convinced he’s alive, and then apparently proof he’s alive--you see him--and then a hint he may be dead--all of the evidence he was alive has been thrown out.

Doesn’t make Joanna any less boring though.

Back to the good stuff.

“Babe.”

“Just two crazy, wacky Jersey girls.”

Cisco might have been the love of her life :(

I feel like Darlene may finally be, if not Dom’s match, at least someone interesting for her for once. Some kinda challenge at least.

Dom has some physical evidence here and there but mostly she’s building her case by just breaking people. Flipping person after person after person. Fingerprints can be wiped off but everyone you encounter who remembers you...

“This is Olympus! We are Prime!” Ugh Tyrell stfu so boring.

On the one hand, that’s pretty dumb of them, putting all the paper records in one place. On the other hand, yay for print saving the day as I always say it will. (Well, almost saving...)

Santiago is trying so hard not to let Dom get anywhere. Too bad for him he’s up against the only actually smart person in the FBI.

“I know her. I am her.”

This scene is so good: the slow, unhurried pacing; the flickering lights; the music; the dramatic hallway walk; all the people amazed that Dom caught Darlene and is gonna show her everything; Dom’s speech; Darlene’s face; how the audience should have seen all of this coming but (at least in my case!) didn’t at all; the Romero reveal; the board itself. A masterpiece!!

And yet for all that they were so wrong about Tyrell. He really was not ever that important.

Trying to parse this convo between the hacker and Mr. Robot. Kinda...makes it sound like the hacker created the big picture and then created Mr. Robot in order to iron out the details and deal with the unpleasant stuff. Or assigned him that role. Mr. Robot who is perhaps farther from the real Elliot than the hacker is?

The stay in your realm thing...he has a certain role he was created to play, and now he’s trying to overstep those bounds.

I love how Elliot thinking Tyrell isn’t real and then being proven wrong is like this big joke on all the people who thought he was always a personality lol.

“I’m the only one who’s real” is literally a psychopathic thing to say.

I also like the subversion and twisting of S1′s finale. Instead of Elliot possibly shooting someone else, he is himself shot, and instead of the big reveal being that another character is his alternate personality, it’s rather that another character is NOT.

I feel like the hacker is already getting to this place where he’s....becoming too dominant. Overstepping his bounds and purpose.

Mr. Robot blinking out but Tyrell staying the same because he is, louder for those in the back, real.

“You did this to yourself.” But not literally. Iconic.

So the ending originally kind of made me wonder if Angela had been a double (triple?) agent the whole time, and ALL of this was in service of whiterose...but I don’t think so. I might have tried to follow the thread of that theory once but I’m pretty sure it doesn’t track. I think she was turned by hypnosis in part 1 of the finale, and then the Dark Army got her number to Tyrell, but he’s never met her before and doesn’t know who she is, other than another contact he’s supposed to trust.

Extra scene! I really was 100% convinced that they were talking about time travel when I first saw this lol. I feel utterly played but not in a bad way. It’s like..the show is smart and so you have to try to think of things in a complicated way. But sometimes they just aren’t that complicated! There isn’t always a conspiracy. Tyrell wasn’t sending secret gifts to his wife. He also wasn’t a hallucination or extra personality. Romero wasn’t shot by the Dark Army or the FBI. Time travel is not possible--or even on the minds of some of these characters. Angela wasn’t a double-triple-super-secret-agent-spy: she was trying to get justice for her mom, genuinely, sincerely. You’re primed, just as the characters are, to see conspiracies, to see complexity, to believe everything and everything, but some things just are as they appear on the surface. It’s never knowing which is which that fucks you up.

At any rate, I’m taking a break to finish the 3% before watching S3, which have seen before, but don’t remember very well. Very excited for the 3% though!

#the year 2020 #2020: mr robot #2020: mr robot s2 #2020: fandom thoughts

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wahbegan · 8 years ago

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GATHER ‘ROUND CHILDREN WHILE I HYPER-ANALYZE EVERY LITTLE THING IN THE IT (2017) TRAILER

1. First of all, Bill doesn’t stutter at all during the trailer. Now, i know in the book he stutters a lot less around his friends and his little brother, and there’s only him saying the one thing at the beginning to his brother and in the middle when he’s talking about the sewers, but i just hope they keep it intact cause it’s actually semi-important to the plot

2. You can see GULF WAX on the table of shit Bill is building the paper boat out of, not much to see here, it’s just what he waterproofs the boat he gives Georgie with BUT it’s just really nice how much attention to detail they’re clearly putting into this

3. The brothers have a tender moment after Bill makes Georgie the boat, which one of the things the miniseries didn’t make super clear but it’s almost bizarrely tender like they’re saying goodbye like they both on some level know they’re never gonna see each other again and that looks to be the same here

4. The street names and sawhorses with DERRY PUBLIC WORKS on them are another cool little detail reference to the novel

5. The bit where Pennywise pops up is very interesting to me because okay bear with me here he has blue eyes in that shot, right? Just Bill Skarsgard’s natural eye color i’m assuming. Later when Pennywise jump-scares the fuckitty shit out of Bill in the basement (more on that in a second) his eyes are a weird spooky yellow-green color and in most promo images his eyes are just straight-up yellow. This is significant just because, and idk if they put this much thought into it, but in the book when Pennywise first pops up in the storm drain he has yellow eyes and when Georgie looks again they’re blue, specifically the same shade of blue eyes that his mom and brother have. It’s implied to be a deliberate ploy on Pennywise’s part to gain Georgie’s trust. Anyway, that’d be cool if that made it into the movie.

6. The big sweeping shot of Derry is nice, we can clearly see the canal off to the right side of the screen which is important to a lot of the action, being where Ben first sees Pennywise and where minor character Eddie Corcoran meets his death by Creature from the Black Lagoon (Eddie’s little brother Dorsey was brutally killed by their abusive stepfather, an act of violence which starts Its feeding cycle, of which Georgie is the first victim and Eddie is one of the last; more on Its life-cycle momentarily)

7. The boy on the missing poster, Patrick Hockstetter, is a fairly minor character from the book, a creepy sociopath who believes he’s the only real thing in existence and other things exist solely for his amusement. He killed his baby brother when he was 5, tortures animals to death for fun and keeps their corpses in a fridge, and barely registers fear or even physical pain. He does, however, have a deep revulsion of leeches (relatable tbh) and Pennywise sends like an appendage of Itself in the form of a swarm of leeches with fly wings and mosquito suckers, flesh-colored leeches by the way that turn pink and then dark red as they suck your blood isn’t that lovely, to hide in his animal fridge and exsanguinate him before the main part of It shows up to drag him off and eat him. Interestingly, Pennywise, since Patrick doesn’t really fear anything, seems to be unable to decide what form to adopt when It takes him, and appears as a sort of running, melting wax type of figure a scene which is scary as fuck and i really hope makes it into the movie in some way, particularly since that’s really the only reason to include Patrick Hockstetter at all and we already know he’ll be making a physical appearance in the film since someone’s been cast as him.

8. Ben in the library, probably writing the poem that he later gives to Bev. Oddly enough, I don’t think Pennywise actually appears to him in the book during this part, so it’ll be interesting to see how much he makes his presence known. Is it just gonna be the balloon or will he pop out in Dracula form like he does when Ben re-visits the library as an adult? WHO KNOWS

9. When Eddie Kaspbrak finishes Bill’s thought “....clown. Yeah, I saw him too.”, it flashes to him outside the infamous 29 Neibolt Street. This is of course where a syphilitic homeless man propositions Eddie for oral sex and Pennywise later takes the form of the same man in a clown suit, the disease advanced to the point that it can be more accurately described as leprosy. Later in the trailer (right after THIS SEPTEMBER) we get a microsecond-long flash of what appears to be Eddie running away from the Leper, shot in such a way that you can’t really see him, but production shots of him exist and it’s confirmed that Javier Botet (Mama, Crimson Peak) will be playing him, so that should be an amazing scene i’m already calling it as being one of the most iconic of the film

10. Now for the real show-stopper, the slide-show bit. Now, besides the obvious, the timeline of the movie has been moved up such that these kids aren’t kids in the ‘50s, but rather the ‘80s, right around the time IT was actually released. The slideshow freaking out appears to be a technologically updated version of/at least a scene analogous to the old picture book from Mike Hanlon’s father coming to life (the projector does appear to be Mike’s,as he’s the one who immediately starts inspecting it when it starts doing its thing)

11. Henry Bowers and the red balloon. This i believe is the part in the book, based on where the shot is set up, it looks like a front yard or something, where Bowers finds a balloon tied to his mailbox and a package inside from “Bob Gray” (another common alias of It, along with Pennywise) containing the switchblade he uses to murder his abusive father (what is it with King and parents who are fucking jackasses?) and attempt to kill the Losers in the sewers.

12. This appears to be the climactic encounter with Pennywise in the House on 29 Neibolt Street. If you watch, you can actually see Pennywise’s fingers growing out of the clown gloves and morphing into werewolf claws, which is really cool because their plan hinges on trapping It in werewolf form so they can shoot It with silver, but It initially appears to them as amorphous (It usually does when It appears to multiple people at once until one of them, i’m guessing whoever has the strongest concrete fear, says what It is and then It settles into that form) until Richie ,who had previously seen It as a werewolf in the same house, screams out “It’s the werewolf! The teenage werewolf!” so this is probably right after that

13. One of my favorite shots from the trailer because if it’s what i think it is, it indicates some BRILLIANT adaptation-work on Andres Muschietti’s part. Basically, in the book, there are a lot of “interludes”, little bits and pieces of Derry’s troubled history that are inserted into the story to help explain Its life-cycle and would be, in the form they are in the novel, basically unfilmable. It just wouldn’t work pacing-wise and would serve only to confuse the audience. One of said interludes is the fire at the Black Spot, an integrated but mostly-Black club where Mike Hanlon’s father worked that was burnt to the ground by a white supremacist group with people trapped inside. Pennywise, in the form of a giant bird with balloons tied to Its wings, is present and is temporarily sated by this display. (a massacre or otherwise hideous act of violence has to be committed to wake It up, and another must be committed to put it back into hibernation. It’s usually active for about a year before going back into hibernation for about 27). The firelight and burnt hands/door seem to imply that Muschietti has worked this interlude in by having Pennywise taunting Mike Hanlon with a vision of the people who died in the arson/massacre which is BRILLIANT.

14. The sink scene. Of course, the shit coming out of the sink has been ratcheted up a LOT from the miniseries, but is actually fairly close to the book where it first coughs up a single bubble of blood and then belches forth a geyser, coating Bev and the entire bathroom, as well as her father who can’t see it. My only gripe is the blood seems to have been replaced with a black liquid of some kind? I hope that’s just for the trailer and it’ll be red in the movie, cause it just doesn’t have the same traumatic appeal as everything and yourself and your dad being covered in blood and him not being able to see it

15. Pennywise partially obscuring his face with a balloon is something he does at least once in the book to indicate that he’s about to change forms, as the Mummy on the ice that Ben sees. Now this appears to be in front of 29 Neibolt Street, so i don’t think it’s Ben, but probably as he’s about to transform into the Leper for Eddie. But that’s just my guess

16. The final scene. The basement. Now this is a scene that isn’t in the book at all, there’s a similar one towards the end but it’s in Its lair and the rest of the losers are there so i don’t think it’s that. Anyway, even though there’s no way of knowing what basement this is, it’s possible that it’s actually in the Denbrough bothers’ house because, going all the way back to the first part of this post, Georgie so remember that whole bit where he goes into the basement to get the GULF wax, that’s the only part of the book from his POV and he talks about how he’s terrified the whole time of a monster being in the basement, and it’s mentioned that it’s flooded from all the rain Derry’s gotten recently. I’m not sure where this scene would fit in, chronology-wise, but i’m willing to bet it’d be some kind of ironic echo of Georgie’s earlier sentiments or a replacement for Georgie’s scene entirely where Bill is the one who has to go down into the basement and face his fears instead. It also might occur instead of/along with Georgie’s school picture coming to life, but once again this is all pure speculation i have no basis for this other than the location

ANYWAY THAT’S ABOUT ALL FOR NOW wow sorry that was super long i really needed to get that out of my system i’m done now i’ll have mercy and put this under a read more

#stephen king's it #it 2017

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pseudophan · 8 years ago

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Choking On Your Alibi

Rating: M Genre/tags/idk: friends to lovers/getting together, fluff, eventual smut, all the good stuff Word count: 6.3k what the fuck Summary: When Dan had first responded to a stranger’s roommate ad, he figured they’d be like acquaintances living together; simply exchanging pleasantries now and then. However as it happens they had quickly become good friends. But what will happen when Dan walks in on Phil hooking up with another guy?

based on this article referencing a reddit post about a guy who thinks he's homophobic because he doesn't like seeing his roommate with other guys

title from Mr. Brightside because that's where everyone gets their titles tbh

click here to read it on ao3 if that’s more your thing

"There's just one more thing," the man sitting across from him says, looking up from Dan’s application form.

"What is it?"

"Well so I assume it's not gonna be much of an issue for you but I'm uh ... I'm gay?"

"Oh," Dan is a bit taken aback at first, though he recovers fairly quickly, "That's cool," he says, truthfully.

Phil relaxes noticeably in his chair, he'd clearly been worried about Dan’s reaction. “I just thought you should know in case i bring any guys home. Or a guy, rather, I mean I’m not gonna bring a whole group and have like an orgy…”

“Phil-”

“Actually my sex life isn’t that interesting, I might not even bring anyone home but-”

“PHIL,” Dan has to raise his voice to get him to stop rambling. “Relax, it’s alright.”

Phil stops and smiles, “okay, cool. Good. So uh- I’ll see you Thursday then, yeah?”

“See you Thursday.” Dan gets up and walks towards the front door, casting one last glance over at the older guy before walking outside.

He is actually looking forward to living with Phil, he seems pretty cool and in the few conversations they’ve had together so far he’s gotten the impression that their interests are fairly similar.

Yeah, he thinks, this will be good.

Three days later Dan is again stood in the London flat, only this time he’s surrounded by boxes and feels a lot less optimistic. He’s still excited about the new living arrangements, but after a full day of moving, the knowledge that he has to unpack all his stuff makes him regret every life decision he has ever made.

“Do you need some help?” Dan is dragged back to reality by Phil’s voice, sounding rather amused.

“Huh?”

“You look a bit overwhelmed, we could order pizza and then I’ll help you unpack?”

“Phil, I fucking love you,” Dan replies, chuckling, and lifts one of the boxes off the floor. “I’ll start carrying these to my room and then you can order the pizza?”

“Sounds like a plan.” Phil smiles and reaches for his phone.

The pizza arrives after about half an hour, just as they finish unpacking the first box. Phil pays the delivery boy - with his own money as he refused to let Dan spend as much as a penny - and brings the food upstairs, figuring they’d eat as they work.

“So,” Phil says as Dan opens the next box. “Tell me something about yourself.”

“Like what?” Dan asks, looking up from the newly opened box.

“Like anything, if we’re gonna be living together I’d like to know more about you.” Phil picks up a plushie from the box and holds it up, “what’s the story behind this?”

Dan laughs and grabs the plushie, placing it on top of his wardrobe. “There’s no story, I won it for my girlfriend in one of those claw crane machine things.”

“That is a story,” Phil says, smiling. “If you won it for your girlfriend then why is it here?”

“She kinda threw it at me as I left her house after we broke up.”

“Oh. I’m sorry?”

“Nothing to be sorry about, it wasn’t the most passionate of relationships. I like the plushie though, so i kept it.”

“Is it like a reminder not to put up with things that don’t make you happy?”

Dan stops, looking up at Phil. “Uh. What?”

“If she threw the plushie at you I’m assuming you were the one who broke it off, and there must have been a reason for that, right?”

“Well, yeah, she cheated on me, but-”

“There you go! Whenever you look at the plushie you’re reminded of a time you did something you maybe didn’t want to, but knew you had to in order to be happy.”

“That’s … a lot deeper than I’ve ever thought about it but I uh. I guess?”

Phil grins, looking very pleased at himself for his analysis of some random teddybear. Dan looks at him and shakes his head in disbelief.

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re a bit odd?”

“All the time,” Phil says and then he giggles , like a little kid, except somehow it doesn’t seem out of place for him. “I usually take it as a compliment.”

A few months pass, and living with Phil couldn’t be better. They have the same taste in TV and films, and although Phil isn’t into all the music Dan listens to, they do have quite a few favourite bands in common.

When Dan had first responded to a stranger’s roommate ad, he figured they’d be more like acquaintances living together; making their own dinner and exchanging pleasantries now and then. However as it happens they had quickly become good friends, and more often than not they eat their meals together.

On this particular day, Phil had woken him up to make pancakes because ‘it’s Saturday and you can’t have Saturday without pancakes!’

So here they are, in the kitchen making pancakes. Except, they’re not really making pancakes as much as thoroughly destroying the room. The batter has found its way out of the bowl and all over the counter. Long story short, Phil had attempted to use an electric mixer and it didn’t go well.

“You really suck at this cooking thing,” Dan says, laughing at Phil’s defeated expression.

“And you haven’t exactly been much help,” Phil replies. “Besides, it’s the thought that counts and all that.”

“You just keep telling yourself that.”

Then, without warning, Phil lifts the mixer from the bowl again and presses the on button, causing a shower of batter to rain over Dan.

“Oh, my God, Phil!” Dan quickly dips his finger into the batter and smears it on Phil’s cheek in revenge.

“Jokes on you, now I look like I’m wearing some epic war paint,” Phil says, before he coats his entire hand in batter and playfully smacks Dan’s ass.

“Messing up my jeans is a low blow!” Dan says, after the initial shock.

Phil just shrugs. “What can I say, it’s a good ass.”

Dan laughs. They do this a lot, jokingly flirt with each other. If he’s being honest Dan kind of loves it. It’s nothing serious, Phil knows he’s straight, and the way he flirts is clearly just banter, but it gives Dan an odd sense of comfort to be close enough to somebody that they can joke around without it being weird.

All in all this roommate thing is working out quite nicely. But of course, because the universe seems to hate him, something has to go wrong sooner or later.

One day when Dan comes home from the gym - after exercising, obviously, not just quickly signing a year long membership he’ll probably never use before getting intimidated by the very buff guys lifting weights who could all probably kill dan with one finger, thus prompting him to postpone his dream of getting ripped and instead leaving as soon as possible - he finds Phil on the sofa in their lounge. Horizontal. With another man.

Dan freezes in the doorway. He knows he should leave, or at least say something to let them know he’s here, but his legs are glued to the floor and his tongue has stopped working. Phil and the guy are heavily making out, neither of them are wearing shirts and the stranger is slowly moving his hands over Phil’s chest. Suddenly, Phil lets out a loud moan, and evidently that’s what Dan needed to wake up from his frozen state. He lets out a surprised ‘oh!’ and as much as he wish they hadn’t, both Phil and the guy hear him.

“Um,” Dan begins as he steps back from the door, frantically searching for words.

“Dan! I didn’t think you’d be home yet.”

“I’m so sorry, I- I’m just gonna, um- go.” Dan quickly walks towards his room and closes the door behind him, leaving a very flustered Phil on the couch.

Alone in his room, Dan paces back and forth. What the fuck just happened? It’s not so much the fact that he walked in on Phil with a guy, it’s how it made him feel. He feels sick. Like he might throw up at any moment. Why? He’s walked in on his parents before, and though that experience ranks as one of his top 10 least pleasant moments it didn’t make him feel physically ill. Then, a thought strikes him. Is it because Phil was with a guy ?

Dan can’t recall ever having had anything against gay people, and though he was surprised when Phil said he was gay he never thought anything negative of it. However as he unwillingly replays the scene he’d just witnessed, he can’t help but feel highly uncomfortable by it, and if it’s not the idea of walking in on someone itself then what else can it be?

Confused, and frankly quite disappointed in himself, he goes to bed and falls into an uneasy sleep.

When he wakes up the next morning, it’s due to a knock on his bedroom door. Unsurprisingly when the door opens it’s Phil, looking rather embarrassed.

“Hey… Did i wake you?”

“Yeah, but that’s okay. What’s up?” Dan knows what’s up, of course he does, but he asks anyway.

“I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for last night, I really thought you’d be gone longer.”

“It’s fine,” Dan says.

It isn’t.

“Are you sure?”

No.

“Well I wasn’t exactly expecting to walk in on you getting down and dirty so I was a bit surprised, but really - it’s okay.”

Lies.

Phil doesn’t seem convinced, but he lets it slide and leaves the room, probably to eat breakfast.

Dan tries to go back to sleep but soon realises it’s not gonna happen and gets out of bed. He doesn’t particularly want to have breakfast with Phil, in fear of having to continue the conversation about last night’s awkward encounter, and so he decides to wait until he’s certain Phil is done in the kitchen. Unfortunately this also gives him an unwanted opportunity to ponder his feelings about what happened. Why is he making such a big deal out of this? He’s had gay friends before. Well, one gay friend… Okay he had a gay classmate who he occasionally talked to, but he’d never had any issues with him.

But you never saw that guy with a boyfriend an unwanted voice in his head reasons.

“That’s irrelevant!” Dan exclaims to the empty room, before silently cursing himself and hoping Phil didn’t hear his outburst.

You’re being ridiculous, he thinks to himself, careful not to speak out loud this time to save himself from further embarrassment. If he really does have a problem with Phil being gay, he’ll just have to get the fuck over it.

And he does.

That is, he thinks he has. Until the next time he encounters one of Phil’s dates.

When Phil said his sex life isn’t that interesting he wasn’t lying, it takes almost two months before Dan once again wishes the earth would open up and swallow him whole. This time he comes home from a weekend spent in Wokingham with his family just as a tall, blonde guy he’s never seen before is about to leave.

“Oh, hello!” The stranger smiles and holds out his hand, seemingly for Dan to shake. “I’m Nathan.”

Dan ignores the hand. He’s too busy staring at the telling bruises on Nathan’s neck, unable to keep his mind from imagining how they got there. After about a minute of awkward silence, Phil walks out into the hall, typing something on his phone and therefore not noticing Dan’s presence right away.

“So I’ll call you, yeah? I just saved your-” Phil looks up, finally spotting his roommate. “Dan! Welcome back, did you have a good weekend?”

Dan shrugs.

“Uh, so this is Nathan,” Phil begins, though apparently he’s struggling to figure out what to say next because what follows is just another awkward silence. Incidentally this is when Dan decides to finally chime in.

“So i hear,” he says, not meeting his friend’s eyes. He knows that he’s being an asshole, but the second he walked through the door and realised what Phil had been up to in his absence something just snapped. That was all it took for the time and effort he’d spent convincing himself he was perfectly okay with Phil’s love life to lose its worth. Phil furrows his brows and Dan knows he’s about to get a well deserved berating.

“Right, well, I’m gonna uh...I’ll just go.” Nathan doesn’t wait for a response and is out the door before either of them can say a word. The second the door slams, Phil takes a step towards Dan, his expression dangerously similar to that of someone about to commit murder.

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

“I don’t-” Dan begins, but Phil interrupts him.

“Don’t you dare say that you don’t know! If you’re gonna be a dick, at least pretend to have a reason for it.”

“I just...” Dan tries again, but this time he trails off by himself. I just feel bad because the very thought of you hooking up with a guy makes me feel uncomfortable and frankly downright disgusted, he thinks to himself, inwardly shuddering at how horrible it sounds.

“You just what?” Phil pushes. And then, as if he’s read Dan’s mind he asks “Do you have a problem with me sleeping with other guys?”

Fuck.

“What? Of course not, I don’t give a shit who you hook up with!” Dan doesn’t mean for it to come out that harshly, and it does nothing to calm Phil down. If anything it makes him even more upset, Dan notices, slightly confused at this development.

“You know what, I’m just gonna go stay with Nathan,” Phil says and grabs his jacket, walking past Dan who’s still stood in the middle of the room.

“But I got back early to go to the cinema tonight because you wanted to!”

“Yeah, well, now you won’t have to.” Phil walks past him and opens the door. “Just to be clear,” he says, his back turned, “you’ll be okay if I sleep with him as long as it’s not here?”

Dan tries his best to sound nonchalant when he replies, “It’s none of my business what you do elsewhere, knock yourself out.”

The door slams. Dan feels sick.

He fucked up, God he fucked up. There was absolutely no valid reason for him to be rude to Phil, not to mention poor Nathan, and yet…

Several hours pass and Phil doesn’t return. I guess he was serious about staying the night with Nathan then, Dan thinks, and as soon as he does that familiar nauseous feeling returns. He can’t help but picture the two of them in bed together, naked and sweaty, moans filling the air. Already the first hour he tried drowning his sorrows in alcohol, but all he could find in the flat was a quarter bottle of wine which he drank in one go with very limited effects.

Usually if he doesn’t know what to do he’ll just google it, but something tells him the search results for ‘help i’m a homophobe’ may not be particularly helpful. An obvious solution would be to talk to somebody, but if he’s being honest the entire thing is just really embarrassing. Who does he know that has experience in awkward topics and who won’t judge him for it?

Then it hits him. Louise.

Dan had met Louise during his limited time at uni, and though they don’t meet up as often as they used to she’s still one of his best friends.

She picks up on the second ring, clearly not any more busy than Dan,

“S’up. This is Henry from last night, did I leave my pants at your house?” he opens in the deepest voice he can possibly manage.

“You know, you should probably block your number before attempting to prank call people,” Louise laughs into the phone. “And his name was George, if you must know.”

“No way! Louise has a lovelife, who would’ve thought.”

“Shut up, Howell. Why are you calling, anyway? Shouldn’t you be watching movies with your new BFF?” “Hey, you know it’s not like that-” Dan begins, but Louise laughs and interrupts him.

“Oh relax, I’m perfectly content being replaced by your cute roommate.”

“Cute?”

“Don’t even pretend like you haven’t noticed.”

Dan rolls his eyes, even though he’s aware Louise can’t actually see him.

“Speaking of, how is Phil?” She continues before Dan can conjure up an appropriate response.

“Well, uh, that’s kinda what I’m calling about-” he begins, hesitating.

“...Yes?” Louise says after several seconds of silence.

“Promise you won’t judge?”

“I will promise no such thing,” she replies, but he can tell by the tone of her voice that she’s joking.

“Alright, here it goes-”

He tells her everything, about how great living with Phil was in the beginning - although she’d already heard that part a million times before - and then how weird it had gotten lately. He talks about how he walked in on Phil with that stranger a couple of months ago, then Nathan and how rude he’d been to him.

“-and then I told Phil I don’t give a fuck who he sleeps with outside of our flat, but that just made him even more upset! He didn’t even say goodbye, just slammed the door and left. That was nearly four hours ago and he doesn’t seem to be coming home any time soon so I guess he really is staying with Nathan or something.” He stops, finally, and takes a deep breath. He must have been rambling for ages.

He’s expecting Louise to say something, but all he hears is silence.

“Hello?”

He hears a sigh on the other end. Then, “you really are an idiot, Dan Howell.”

“You weren’t supposed to judge!” He says, but she ignores him.

“So what you’re saying is that you don’t like Phil being intimate with other guys, and your natural deduction is that you’re homophobic?”

Dan hesitates. When she says it like that it does sound stupid, he must admit.

“During all this freaking out,” Louise continues, “did it ever occur to you that what you’re feeling might just be jealousy?”

“Well yeah, I thought about that, but it’s not like I never have sex either, why would I be jealous of Phil?”

“No, you doofus, I mean you’re jealous of the other guys. Nathan and...whatshisface.”

Oh. Oh.

“You haven't even considered the possibility, have you?” Louise’s voice is amused but considerate.

“I’m not… I don’t… I-” Dan’s head is filled with different thoughts and questions all battling for attention, effectively resulting in none of them being uttered.

“Alright,” Louise says, “close your eyes.”

He’s not entirely sure what’s going on, but any excuse to hand the thinking over to someone else is very welcome and so he does as she says.

“Are they closed?”

“Yep.”

“Okay, now, picture yourself kissing some girl.”

“What, why?”

“Just do it.”

He realises there is no point in arguing and goes along with it.

“How is it?” she asks.

“It’s…nice? I guess.” In a way it is, too. He’s always enjoyed kissing, and though it makes him feel like he’s 13 years old again, picturing kissing a pretty girl is definitely not something he dislikes.

“Now picture kissing a guy.” Louise’s strange request breaks his fantasy, but before he can say anything she continues, “don’t question it, just let your mind run free.”

And so he does. This picture is a lot more difficult to maintain than the last one. He struggles to concentrate, and it’s less of a coherent fantasy and more like a distant idea he can’t fully grasp.

“Well?”

“It’s...weird. I don’t feel ill like when i walked in on Phil with that guy, but I don’t feel anything else either.”

“I have one more.” Louise sounds hesitant, as if she knows he won’t like this next proposal. “Imagine you’re kissing Phil .”

He doesn’t even bother protesting. If he’s being honest he did sort of see it coming, though the idea still makes him feel highly awkward.

Here goes nothing he thinks, and lets his mind run wild. The Phil in his head is walking towards him, as smiley as ever. He stops in front of him and hesitates for a second before moving his hand to rest on Dan’s hip, then gently cups his face with the other. He moves in slowly and lightly presses his lips to Dan’s, who sighs and parts his lips slightly, inviting the other to explore his mouth. However, just as they really start getting into it Dan is torn away by a loud cough.

“Huh?” he opens his eyes and looks around the empty room before he remembers he’s on the phone. “Oh.”

“Yeah, oh . What the hell just happened?”

“What do you mean? I just did what you told me to”

“I told you to picture yourself kissing Phil, not passionately making love to him.”

“I didn’t!”

“Dan, you moaned.”

Dan’s face goes deep red and he can only thank any possible higher power that there isn’t anyone in the room to witness it.

Louise laughs. “Well, it seems like you have no problem with Phil kissing guys if it’s you he’s kissing.”

Dan almost smiles at her words, but any hints of said smile vanishes from his face when he remembers Phil wouldn’t actually kiss him, ever.

“God, Louise, what the fuck do I do?” He sighs and sinks deeper into the sofa cushions.

“I suggest you make out with Phil and live happily ever after.”

“Yeah, see, there’s a gaping hole in that plan. Phil doesn’t like me in that way!”

“Dan… are you blind and deaf or are you just simply an idiot?”

“Huh?”

“Phil is so obviously into you! Didn’t you say he got upset when you said you don’t care who he sleeps with?”

“Well, yeah, but-”

“And doesn’t he flirt with you like all the time?”

“That’s just for fun! It’s not like he means it.”

“Is it though?”

“I mean…I think it is. Oh God, what if it isn’t?”

On one hand the thought of Phil liking him back fills Dan with so much joy he could barely contain himself, but on the other it scares him half to death. Not only has he never been with a guy before, but Phil is one of his best friends and the thought of fucking that up terrifies him.

“Dan?” Louise’s voice is quiet and careful, as if she’s afraid she’ll scare him. “If you want my advice I say take some time, think everything over and then if you decide to tell Phil I will be here cheering you on.”

“And if I decide not to?”

“I’ll still be cheering you on, just with less enthusiasm.”

Dan chuckles. “Thanks. I love you, did you know that?”

“I’ve always suspected. Goodbye and good luck!”

“Bye.”

The next few days are agonising . His newly discovered crush ends up staying at his boyfriend-or-fuckbuddy-or-whatever’s house for three days, leaving Dan to re-think his decision over and over until he’s certain he will actually go insane. At first he decides not to do anything and just hope the crush will disappear on its own. Then, four hours and a fair amount of alcohol later, he changes his mind and suddenly telling Phil seems like the best idea anyone has ever had. It’s a good thing he didn’t charge his phone after the long chat with Louise because he tries his best to drunk dial the man in question, but the battery dies before any harm is caused.

By the time Phil finally arrives back at the apartment Dan has been back and forth so many times he’s given himself whiplash. In the end, though, he decided not to tell Phil. It’s not worth it, he thinks. Our existing friendship is more valuable than my need to snog him.

And if a little voice in the back of his head is yelling bullshit! at his claims, he is skilfully ignoring it.

A week passes and Dan is frustrated.

Then another week and Dan is in agony.

Being around Phil before he realised his feelings was bad enough, but now it’s downright torturous. More than once he finds himself staring at Phil’s lips as he speaks, or follow his hand as he raises it to brush his fringe out of his eyes or scratch his jaw or fuck knows what else.

Phil hasn’t brought up their argument, nor the cause for it, since it happened and Dan is more than happy to pretend it never happened. Nathan hasn’t been around since that day and Phil hasn’t been outside enough for Dan to suspect they’ve met anywhere else, and although he knows it’s selfish he can’t help but hope it will stay that way.

It doesn’t, of course.

“Hey, Dan, have you seen my phone?”

Dan looks up from his laptop screen to see Phil standing in the doorway of the lounge, looking mildly stressed. He chuckles at his flatmate’s expression and ponders the question for a few seconds.

“Have you checked the bathroom?” he says, finally. “I’m not entirely sure but I think I may have seen it in there earlier.”

Phil walks away and half a minute later Dan hears a triumphant “Hah!” coming from the bathroom, making him chuckle.

“It’s been missing for hours,” Phil says as he reenters the lounge and falls down on the sofa next to Dan. “Two missed calls from my mum, several snapchat notifications and- oh.”

“What?” Dan asks, confused.

“Uh, it’s nothing, nevermind.” Phil smiles at him, but contrary to popular belief Dan isn’t a complete idiot, and keeps pushing.

“Come on. Is there anything wrong?”

“No, it’s just… Nathan texted me?” It’s not a question, but the nervousness in Phil’s voice makes it sound like one, as if he’s unsure whether he’s allowed to receive texts from boys. Fuck, that makes Dan feel like a shitty person.

“Oh.”

“He’s asking if I want to go out for a drink tonight.”

“Oh,” Dan says again. “Are you going?”

Phil shifts uncomfortably in his seat, clearly conflicted. “I want to, but I don’t wanna make things awkward between us again so if it bothers you for whatever reason I won’t.”

Dan wants nothing more than to tell Phil not to go, to beg him never to see Nathan - or anyone else, for that matter - ever again.

But of course he doesn’t do that. He can’t. He has no right to decide over Phil’s life, and in the end he truly does want Phil to be happy.

“You should go,” he says, finally.

“Really?” Phil sounds excited.

“Sure.”

“You’re the best,” Phil says and gives him a quick hug before getting up.

By the time Dan recovers, Phil is gone and Dan can hear him rummaging around in the bathroom, presumably getting ready for his date. With Nathan. Phil is going on a date with Nathan.

Dan feels sick. It’s the same feeling he got when he first met Nathan and realised what he and Phil had been up to, except this time he recognises it and knows what caused it. Jealousy. He is so jealous he wants to scream. He might have done it as well, if it wasn’t for Phil being able to hear him.

And so he settles for crying. He gets up and all but runs to his room, closing the door behind him before he falls into his bed and sobs into his pillow. It’s pathetic, he knows it is, but right now he has no idea what else to do. He cries until he can’t anymore, and ends up just laying there, staring up into nothing.

That’s when he sees it. On the top of his closet; the stupid plushie he’d won for his girlfriend. God, that felt like so long ago now. He can’t even remember the day he got it, only her angry cries as she threw it at him after he broke up with her. No, wait… He remembers one more thing. He remembers Phil picking it up and asking for the story behind it. He remembers him analysing it, saying it reminded Dan to do whatever it takes to be happy. He remembers his giggle when Dan called him weird.

And suddenly Dan knows exactly what he needs to do.

Before he can change his mind he hurries out of bed, rips his door open and runs down the hall. Please dear God tell me he hasn't left yet, he thinks, as he all but trips down the stairs. And for once in his life the luck is on his side because there, looking both confused and concerned, is Phil. He's wearing a coat and is clearly on his way out, but Dan has already decided that Phil's date is cancelled. Sorry Nathan. "Dan, what-" Phil begins, but Dan cuts him off.

"Do you have any idea how annoying you are?"

"I-" Phil tries again, to no avail.

"My life was going great! Well, perhaps not great, but it was fine. It was calm, and I had everything more or less figured out." For the third time, Phil opens his mouth to say something.

"But then!" Dan exclaims before he can utter as much as a syllable. "But then. Then you came along. With your stories and opinions and unique way of thinking that I could probably listen to for hours on end. And your hair is neat and never curls and somehow you can dye it an emo black well into your twenties and still look good. And then you started bringing guys home and I felt so awful and I didn’t understand why and I was sure I’d somehow become homophobic."

The confused look on Phil's face is replaced by an amused smile, and this time he doesn't even try to interrupt Dan's rant.

"And you giggle! You giggle like a five year old and it's annoying and adorable and I just want to kiss that stupid grin off your face."

"Then go for it."

"Huh?"

"Kiss the stupid grin off my face. I dare you."

And so he does. In two short steps Dan reaches Phil and he doesn't give himself as much as a second to think before grabbing the front of the other's jacket and pulling him in. Their lips meet, and suddenly nothing else matters. Dan doesn't care about his newfound sexuality crisis, all he cares about is Phil's lips and how smooth they are against his own chapped ones. Phil grabs Dan’s waist with one hand and pulls him closer, then moves the other to the back of his neck and tilts his head before he tentatively flicks his tongue over Dan’s bottom lip. Dan can’t help but moan, and doesn’t even have the time to feel embarrassed before Phil takes advantage of his parted lips and deepens the kiss and then Dan is gone.

They kiss for what feels like hours. Dan is pressed up against the wall and Phil’s coat has long since been discarded, allowing the younger to roam his hands under his shirt and feel the warm skin of his back.

“Wait, shit, Dan I-” Phil pulls back, sweaty and out of breath, and rests his forehead against Dan’s.

Dan wants nothing more than to ignore him and just keep kissing, but he knows better than to force himself on him. “What’s wrong?” he asks instead.

“Nothing’s wrong, I just um-” he nods down, and Dan follows the motion, instantly realising what he’s getting at.

“Oh.” Phil’s jeans are tight, and even in the dim light of the hallway he can clearly see the bulge forming underneath them.

“I don’t want to pressure you into something you’re not ready for, so we should probably stop before things escalate.”

Dan goes quiet for a moment, still lightly stroking Phil’s back with his thumb as he thinks. He is already in way over his head, and he has no idea how to proceed with getting intimate with another man, yet there is still a voice in his head telling him to just do it. Phil definitely isn’t the only one who’s gotten worked up over their current situation, and although he could always retreat to his room for a wank, something tells him it would be a disappointing high.

Deciding that this truly is the day for trying new things, Dan takes a deep breath and looks Phil straight in the eye as he slides his hand from his back and towards the bulge in his jeans. He moves slowly, making sure Phil knows exactly what he’s doing and has the opportunity to stop him if he wants to. He doesn’t, and Dan takes it as permission to continue. Phil gasps as Dan suddenly presses his hand against his crotch, beginning to palm him over his jeans. Dan smirks as he feels Phil grow impossibly harder under his touch, noting how his breath catches when Dan slowly pulls down his zipper.

“Can I?” Dan asks, though he’s pretty sure he knows the answer already.

“God, yes,” Phil replies, and Dan wastes no time before pulling his jeans down over his hips, immediately resuming his previous actions. Now that the jeans are gone he can feel the shape of Phil’s length through the thin fabric of his boxers. Phil moans and God the knowledge that Dan is the reason for these noises is intoxicating.

In the midst of his desire to please Phil he has completely forgotten about his own hard-on, and so when Phil suddenly reaches out to undo Dan’s own trousers it takes him a second to understand what is happening.

“I’ve got an idea,” Phil says, fingers toying with the waistband of his jeans. “Do you trust me?”

Without even thinking, Dan replies “Completely,” and Phil pecks his lips before promptly pulling down his jeans. He then steps out of his own and discard them completely, motioning for Dan to do the same.

Once they’re both stripped down to their underwear, Phil pulls Dan in for a heated kiss that leaves him weak in the knees. As their lips and tongues move together, Phil moves both of his hands to Dan’s backside and, without warning, grabs his ass. Then, as if that wasn’t enough to send Dan’s head spinning, he pulls him impossibly closer and rolls his hips into the younger man’s, causing their erections to rub together and making them both moan into each other’s mouths.

“Fuck, shit, shit, fuck!” Dan desperately clutches Phil’s shirt as they continue to move together, the thinking part of his brain having long since stopped working. “How very articulate,” Phil teases, though the moan he lets out just afterwards makes it clear he’s just as far gone as Dan.

Dan moves his hands back to their previous spot under Phil’s shirt, desperate to feel more of his soft skin beneath his fingers. Taking the hint, Phil hastily removes the shirt completely, allowing Dan’s hands to roam even further. Whilst Dan is occupied with exploring every part of his body, Phil takes the opportunity to back him up against the wall once again. He then lowers his mouth to Dan’s neck and starts sucking and biting slightly at the skin there. This, paired with a particularly well aimed roll of his hips, makes Dan moan louder than he think he ever has, and if his brain was in a normal working state he’d no doubt be embarrassed.

“I’m ah- I’m close,” Dan manages, barely.

Phil stops.

He fucking stops.

“Phil!” Dan whines, trying his best to roll his hips into Phil’s again but he just steps back. Dan is just about to take matters into his own hands - literally - and jerk himself off, when Phil falls to his knees in front of him and oh. Oh.

Without a word, Phil pulls down Dan’s boxers, and just the sight of Phil’s mouth that close to his cock is enough to make Dan moan again. When Phil then licks a stripe from his base to his tip, Dan is certain he’s going to literally fall apart. This is proved even more likely when Phil wraps his lips around the head of his cock and starts sucking lightly, teasingly flicking his tongue over the tip. Just as Dan is about to tell Phil to please oh please hurry the fuck up, he takes his entire length into his mouth and holy shit does he even have a gag reflex?

Once again Dan warns Phil that he’s about to come, and Phil looks up at him through his lashes as he pulls his own cock out of his boxers and starts stroking himself as he takes Dan all the way down again. The tip of his cock hitting the back of Phil’s throat combined with the look on Phil’s face as he chases his own orgasm is enough to send Dan over the edge. He cries out as he comes, unable to keep his hips from bucking into Phil’s mouth as the older man swallows around him, not spilling a single drop.

Dan sinks down the wall, unable to keep himself standing any longer. In fact, he can’t see himself standing up ever again if he’s being honest. Phil wipes his own cum on his previously discarded jeans before turning back to Dan, who can’t help but run his hand through the ruffled black hair. He pulls Phil closer and their lips meet as Dan ignores the voice in his head reminding him that the lips he’s kissing were around his cock only two minutes ago.

“So,” Phil says as they pull apart for air. “What’s the verdict?”

“Huh?” Dan asks, confused.

“Well, are you homophobic or..?”

“Oh, shut up.”

Phil just giggles and pulls Dan in for another kiss.

------

so uh. did you like it? confession time, i haven't actually written a proper fic before so i'm nervous as HECK. hopefully it wasn't entirely terrible though ahhh

thank you to andy (jellyfics) for being my beta (and helping with the title when i was ready to Die after pondering it for ten hours) and to caitlyn (ratinof) for constantly assuring me that the fic isn't /entirely/ shit. i appreciate it.

#phanfic #phan smut #phanfiction #phan #my fic #the fuck do i tag this as

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