#like the little moment each member had to disrupt the speech

[solitairechimney]

There was so much going on after this that it got overshadowed but that opening scene in the firehouse may have been THE funniest scene in the whole show. Local fire captain desperately tries to corral his children employees and get them to pay attention for one (1) minute, fails, doesn't even get to tell them about the moderate marine layer 😔

[blakeivy80]

You never know what futur holds

As a request from @threshergm 😉, here is a "short" fanfic romance between Pablo Schreiber and Cristina Rodlo. 💕

Can we call that a headcanon, I got no idea 🤔 (don't really get what that means so.. 😅)

As usual, romance, passion, no smutt...

I hope you'll enjoy

When you spend 9 months working together, you get to know each other better and sometimes... it creates bonds... 

First meeting of the new cast of season 2 with the “old ones” from season 1, and there is an immediate connection between them.

Cristina likes tall men, who know how to impose themselves, but who also know how to be humble and considerate with others. So Pablo, with his attractive physique, his beautiful green eyes, his smile to die for and his kindness as well as his very simple side, ticked all the boxes. 

Pablo didn't really have a physical type, but Cristina's smile and the charm she exuded immediately appealed to him. 

Outside of training sessions and filming, they spent a lot of time together, chating about everything and nothing, their lives... without daring to admit their attraction to each other. 

And how do you spend 9 months working with a partner you like? Well it’s not that simple ! Because attraction can sometimes play tricks on you. The more time passes, the more complicated playing together becomes.

Pablo, usually imperturbable, will appear a little nervous. Her looks, her smile, especially when she looks him straight in the eyes, disturb him so much that he sometimes forgets his text. 

He had never experienced this before, feeling so attracted to a colleague that his work was disrupted. Because trying to start a lovestory in the middle of shooting was too risky if something went wrong between them, he would be content for the moment with her presence, her charm, and her gentleness. 

Day after day, there are glances, smiles, which only add kind of a tension between them. 

On the last day of shooting, Pablo has a crazy idea and suggests to the members of the film set that they go diving in Lago Del Predil, and many agree to play the game, even Cristina. But with the water at 5 degrees and fairly cold outside temperatures, she doesn't stay long, and goes out to warm up in her large towel. 

Pablo joins her to find out how she is doing. Seeing her smiling but shaking, he approaches her and helps her warm up by rubbing her arms and back. 

She looks up at him, feeling this man who attracts her so much, who practically holds her in his arms for the first time, she becomes nervous, feeling a sweet warmth runing through her body.

He looks into her eyes, finally they're standing right there, both of them, face to face, barely a few centimeters apart... Their eyes speak for them, it’s as if they are shouting “I want you”, their lips craving for only one thing. 

But not there, not surrounded by all these people. Now that filming was over, they no longer needed to hold back those feelings. Pablo decides to take the first step and offers her dinner at the hotel restaurant where they had already eaten with Kiki, Kate and Natasha once. 

Cristina feels herself blushing, and accepts, teasing him with a little smile: “It was about time !.” They both laugh, then finish covering themselves to return together, silently, to the shooting base.

The evening comes, Cristina is a little nervous, she gets ready, wears light makeup, and chooses a long light dress, with a fitted bust and a wider skirt. It highlights her beautiful shapes by emphasizing her slim waist. 

Pablo, for his part, wears a dark blue suit, which highlights his eyes, with a light t-shirt. Simple but so dashy. 

He picks up Cristina, and can't help but smile when he sees how particularly gorgeous she looks tonight. 

They slip away discreetly to join the restaurant. The setting was romantic, what could be better for a first one-on-one date. 

Sitting at a table a little apart, they enjoy the evening, in peace, just the two of them. No need for big speeches, their smiles say it all, they know what these last few months have made them grow in… 

Their hands come together. Her hand seems so small in that of this giant, and yet he is delicate with her, gentle, tender. They tell themselves that for the moment, they will keep it to themselves. It probably won't be easy to hide from the media, but if they want to be quiet, they won't have a choice. 

Dinner ends, both decide to go and enjoy one last evening in this beautiful country, with the last rays of the setting sun on the landscape, hand in hand. And it is there, in those last rays of light, so calm and romantic, that Pablo turns to her, takes her face in one hand, and says to Cristina “You’re so amazing”, before kissing her. 

It’s a passionate kiss, which expresses several months of growing feelings, for both of them. His other hand on her waist, he pulls her against him. She places her hands on his chest and feels his heartbeat, so hard. 

Pulling away slightly, she runs a hand over the back of his neck and through his hair, looking into his gaze. A moment of silence, they hear in the distance the noise of people also leaving the hotel-restaurant. 

Holding hands, they decide to return to the hotel reception, Pablo asks the receptionist if there are any bedrooms left. Just one….the one on the terrace, “with a magnificent view of the lake” the man replies. 

They take the elevator to reach the top floor of the hotel, as if this room was waiting for them, because this evening, they won’t be joining the crew trailers. Tonight would be just the two of them's night, far from everything else, at this moment nothing else matters. And embracing each other to kiss as if they didn't know what tomorrow might hold for them, the bedroom door closed gently behind them.

💖

[stxleslyds]

Red Hood and the lost art of telling Joker to shup up.  

Okay, I know that I talked about Jason and Joker in a recent post but this is something different, I promise.

I really want to talk about how different Jason has been written since UtRH when it comes to him confronting Joker. Jason hasn’t been put in that position a lot but the times that he has, he lets Joker talk for far too long and actually pays attention to whatever he has to say.

The Jason vs Joker thing is basic in on itself and letting Joker talk isn’t exactly the problem here, the real problem is Jason letting Joker’s thoughts shape his future thoughts and decisions, I do understand that that’s exactly what writers want though, they want to build the problematic of: “Jason is just like Joker and the fact that he uses the name Red Hood only proves that Joker made who Jason is now”.

But the thing is that THAT problem is overdone at this point and the only time it worked was the first time it was brought up and it worked because Jason shut the Joker down.

Let’s see all the times (that I remember) the Joker and Jason have had a little chat and/or the times Joker’s words actually influence Jason’s thinking and decision making.

 Under the Red Hood – Batman (1940) #649

This is the first real confrontation we get to see between Jason and Joker after Jason’s death and it is beautiful. It's absolutely amazingly written, Joker goes on and on forever about how he killed Jason about how Jason is just as bad as him but that he is also just like Batman because he hasn’t killed him yet.

“You let me live after everything I did, you couldn’t pop my balloon. You just couldn’t. The apple doesn’t tumble too far from the paterfamilias. You are just like daddy-kins”

Jason lets him talk, yes. But he absolutely destroys Joker with what he tells him next.

“You couldn’t be more wrong about me. If right were a country on earth you’d be circling on the edge of the milky way. Yeah, I let you live but like always, every damned minute of your addled, posturing, psychopathic life, you think this is about you. You’re a worm. I’ve pitched you on a hook and dropped you into the brine. And I will beat the hell out of you Pagliacci because it was too much fun not to.”

“Listen to me Joker, I’m not you. I´m nothing like you. I know what I do and I know why I do it. You, you are, clinically speaking, a whack-job. But I know a secret, a good one.”

“You are not nearly as crazy as you would like us all to believe or even as crazy as you would like to believe. It just makes it easier to justify every sick monstrous thing you’ve ever done when you play the part of the mad clown. You are crazy, bubba, but you ain’t that crazy. Look at that. I wiped a smile off of Joker’s face. I have been waiting a long time for that.”

Everything about this is perfect, Jason gives Joker no room to mess with him. Whatever the Joker had planned on saying he had to eat because Jason wasn’t playing games and he was ready for any kind of lie the Joker had ready to tell. This is Jason Todd. He won’t let the Joker get under his skin because he knows the Joker and he, also, knows better. 

Red Hood and the Outlaws (2011) #15

Here Jason comes across Joker during the “Death of the Family” event. In this issue the Joker has information about all of the members of the “Batfamily” and he uses that to mess around with each one of them, in Jason’s case he insinuates that he was present in very specific moments of his life when Jason’s father got shot, when his mother overdosed and when he was on his own before joining Batman.

Jason doesn’t quite believe that Joker was there but as the reader, we can see this sort of sense of doubt in Jason. He hesitates a few times before resolving that the Joker is playing with him.

But as far as this issue goes let’s just say that what the Joker says doesn’t get to Jason, this changes though in the issue that follows up this story.

Teen Titans (2011) #16

This is where that story continues and where Jason starts to buy the story that Joker is selling.

Joker convinces Jason that he has his father and Tim’s father and that the only way for Jason (or Tim) to save their dads is by killing the other (Jason or Tim). Tim doesn’t believe it but Jason is ready to shoot Tim almost immediately.

However, Jason changes his mind about killing Tim just as Tim comes up with a plan for them to not actually have to kill each other. Here is where Lobdell’s writing shows all of its flaws, Lobdell is so desperate to show that Jason and Tim are besties that he forgets that Jason had no reason to stop trying to kill Tim to save his shit father because it is later revealed that Jason truly believed that Joker had found his father and had him captive. It wasn’t until Tim explained his thought process as to why those men weren’t their dads that Jason just goes “you realize, of course, the only reason I didn’t kill you right off is that I knew your big brain will figure out some way out of this” HA, nice save Lobdell but I see right through your bullshit.

Jason bought what the Joker was selling and that is the beginning of Jason’s downgrade when it comes to not playing Joker’s games.

Red Hood and the Outlaws (2011) #17

Well, in this issue Lobdell goes back to Jason kinda not believing what Joker told him, and Jason asks Bruce of all people if he thinks the Joker truly “made him or not”. Bruce says that he doesn’t believe that and that he didn’t have anything to do with the man that Jason has become either. For some reason, Jason is actually happy with what Bruce said and for a couple of moments, Jason goes back to being sure that the Joker knows nothing and that he is his own man.

It doesn’t last long though. At the very end of the issue, the trap that Joker had set up in Jason’s helmet triggers and Jason gets his face fucked up with acid or something.

But that’s not all because a hologram of Joker has something to say: “you were supposed to be my masterpiece from start to finish. But you were too stubborn to stay dead. So here is what we are going to do… You’re so determined to be your own man? Fine, let’s start with a clean slate”.

Basically, the Joker insinuates once more that he had something to do with who Jason was supposed to become and that Jason isn’t truly “his own man”, This is all a setup for a very dense storyline that will be continued in this run later.

Red Hood and the Outlaws (2011) #18

In this issue, Jason is in a coma after he is dosed with that gas in the previous issue. The Joker isn’t really present in this issue but he does make an appearance as part of Jason’s “nightmare” while he is unconscious.

That’s not all though, Jason has an illusion of Ducra (someone that he appreciates a lot), telling him that “after you left the All-Castle after you went back to the world you continued to let your life be defined by the actions of that man. You became a killer, lashing out at people who may or may not have deserved it. Eventually, you will hurt all those you have cared for. In that way, how are you any different from the Joker?”.

In this statement, there is a lot of wrongs that can come from two places, either bad writing on Lobdell’s part or just Ducra telling lies as a plot point.

“Let your life be defined by the actions of that man” is a sentence that horribly simplifies Jason’s thinking during the events of UtRH, because while he did resent the Joker, his real problem was with Bruce who had not avenged his death by killing the Joker himself. Also, Jason was doing other things back then, like being a pain in the ass for Black Mask and disrupting the drug trade in Gotham as well as trying to control the drug dealing to children. So that little sentence is just a gross misinterpretation of the true events which means that Ducra was wrong, and “she” continues to be wrong when she says that there might be no difference between Jason and Joker.

Luckily Jason thinks the same because he tells “Ducra”: “…don’t you dare compare me to that monster Ducra. I am nothing like the Joker! Nothing!”

Once again please don’t be fooled by Jason’s thinking because in the next issue it turns around really fast and really bad.

Red Hood and the Outlaws (2011) #19

Just a heads up this issue has a change of writer, Lobdell isn’t writing this arc, the writer that gives us this hellish story arc is James Tynion IV.

All that talk about Jason not being affected or not believing what the Joker told him is yeeted out of the window and it’s not a fun ride.

In this issue, Roy and Kory find a Jason that doesn’t know who they are or who he, himself, is. This is because S’aru that little floaty little shit took his memories away after Jason asked him to do so, well Jason asked S’aru to erase every memory that darkness has touched (Joker) and he does that. But him doing that is apparently erasing everything which, holy shit, how messed up is that?

But let’s take a look at what Jason says before he gets his memories taken away: “Not only did the Joker almost take my face, but he tells me he might have manipulated my entire life from the beginning! Even the good is tainted by him now. I can’t do it anymore. I can’t have that kind of doubt. If you take it away, I can go on living. I can keep fighting”. So, yeah that was a pretty emo speech. But the thing here is that if Jason is asking this dude to erase every memory that has been tainted by the Joker and he erases all of them then we might be facing one of two situations, either Joker has been messing up with Jason’s life from the beginning or S’aru is just a little bitch.

We will later find out in #20 that S’aru and Ducra planned the whole thing, meaning that they took all of his memories for ulterior motives not because the Joker had actually tainted all of them.

For many issues Jason has no memories and now that I am revisiting these issues, I now remember the twisted and completely insane plot they came up with for the “League of Assassins” and Jason being the “Chosen One”, everything was happening in this run, my god, it's like they wanted Jason to be the center of every single trope in writing history.

It’s in issue #26 that Jason asks for his memories back but the Joker having tainted his memories or not isn’t important anymore to anyone, including the writer (because he is too focused on telling this messy story), Jason (because he has enough problems at the moment) and the reader (because this book makes zero sense and it changes the story and motivations every single issue).

But there is another truth to be revealed in the next issue.

Red Hood and the Outlaws (2011) #27

Jason has planned along Ducra and S’aru to give up all of his memories to be cleansed so he could defeat Ra’s Al Ghul. But (there is always a but) Ducra says this: “Your greatest enemy returned and nearly took your face away from you. And in the process, shook your sense of identity to the core” “The final battle here will take place in the Well of Sins, and with all the doubt and fear clouding your mind, it would eat you whole”.

So yeah, now we have confirmation from Ducra that Jason had indeed let what the Joker told him cloud his sense of self and made him doubt who he was and if he really was in control.

All that back and forth for these many issues just to say, yes, Jason let Joker’s words affect him.

So here it is, let Joker get in Jason’s head to build the plot of a story, fantastic, the story was a mess because it had so much information, the mischaracterizations of Roy and Kory were at their maximum potential, and in this particular story arc not only are the events of Red Hood: The Lost Days officially erased from Jason’s canon but something quite out there is added to Jason’s canon from before he was even Robin (that’s a whole different story that I won’t be talking about here).

What an insane ride this arc was. Definitely not the kind of story I enjoy in a Red Hood book but that’s just my preference.

*This whole arc was written by James Tynion IV.

Red Hood/Arsenal #11

Joker is dead during the events of this run but the person who has something to say to Jason about how the Joker made the person that he is now is Duela Dent (“Joker’s daughter”, she isn’t his daughter she just found Joker’s face somewhere and she puts it on and “becomes” crazy, she is an incredibly weird character).

She says this, “You’re a lot like dad in that way” to which Jason says “He is not my father. He’s not even your father” but Duela continues by saying. “You’re kidding yourself if you genuinely believe that. Yeah, he took your life but look what you got in its place, you ingrate. You got your freedom. You were reborn.” 

Jason doesn’t fall for it or anything of the sort but once again writers are bringing up the Joker as the maker of the Red Hood and “suggesting” that what Jason has been doing and who he has become is all thanks to Joker. The idea of Jason having no free will is still present in this narrative, even when Jason doesn’t believe it.

Red Hood/Arsenal #12

I talked too soon because in this issue Jason is having some weird thoughts.

“Funny, isn’t it, so easy to call Duela “crazy” because she wears a dead man’s face. Because isn’t that what I’m doing? Before he was the Joker, he was the Red Hood. So maybe the line between men and the Joker’s daughter is a lot thinner than I’d like to admit.”

Here he is comparing himself to Duela and to the Joker to an extent, writers often bring up the fact that Jason uses the code name that his killer once had and they have people or Jason himself questioning why he uses that name.

Personally, I don’t think there is much to build from it (at least not from the perspective of Lost Days and UtRH), it was just a joke, a morbid one if you will. He wears the mantle of the person that destroys Gotham and fills its people with fear while he is trying to control the city’s drug trade and trying to keep the people safe in his own way. And the way he wanted to do it is almost the complete opposite of the way that Batman does things.

I just think that he is being ironic and acidic about the whole thing. He has obviously moved on from the fact that Joker killed him but he has issues with the fact that Batman has yet another child working with him while the Joker is still alive. And Jason really wanted to make Bruce suffer, so him taking the name and a similar appearance to how the joker used to look is also done to get a reaction from Bruce.

I really don’t think there is any sort of connection to make between Jason and Joker beyond that, much like there is no connection between the name Nightwing and the Court of Owls. Even though Lincoln March tried to convince Dick Grayson that he chose the name Nightwing because Owls fly at night and that meant that he was supposed to become a Talon and all that Dick still didn’t believe it because he knew why he chose that name and no one can twist his reason.

Red Hood and the Outlaws (2016) #10

Finally, I can stop re-reading New 52 books, I don’t enjoy it but I have to do it if I want to talk/complain about stuff.

This one is a little different because while Jason does talk with the Joker, the Joker isn’t really there he is just part of Jason’s imagination just like the Robin Jason that he is also seeing.

In this story, Jason is helping Artemis discover who she is but he gets captured in Qurac, yup that place, and worst of all from where he is being held, he can see the place where he died. All of that is helping Jason have some very vivid memories/illusions. He does actively hold a conversation with the imaginary Joker and Robin Jason though, and he is also having a lot of thoughts that let us know how the Joker affects Jason.

“This is why it was stupid of me to come back to Qurac. Even to help Artemis, even if I thought I could handle it. Physically, I am alone, but in my head? I’m drowning in memories of the worst day of what was my very short life. The day I was murdered.”

That’s what Jason is thinking but what I write next is what Jason’s saying as he talks to the imaginary Joker.

“Not interested in replaying this over again, like I have every night of my life since it happened Joker”

So, we are told that Jason thinks about that day very often, the Joker might not be involved much in Jason’s books but he definitely has a bigger role inside of Jason’s head. They chat for a bit up until Jason decides to “kill” the Joker, he knows, of course, that it is not real but it does give him satisfaction. (If only they would have let Jason actually kill the clown for real, or at the very least chase him just to show the reader that Jason does actually want to finish the job since the Bat won’t do it himself).

Having said all that, Joker’s imaginary death doesn’t last long because Jason is trapped in his mind and the Joker is basically functioning on a loop inside of it.

That is where the problem lies in this issue because Jason is letting us know that he is still heavily influenced by what happened that day and that he hasn’t been able to walk away from it. But once more that’s not the worst thing, because all of these thoughts have led Jason to think that he (in the present and as a fifteen-year-old) is the one to blame for having ended up dead. Yeah, it is messed up.

This is what Jason says to imaginary Robin Jason, “He is never going to die, Jason. Not here. Not in my mind, not if at some point I don’t stand up and walk away from my memories. From you.”

This is a major downgrade, from the Jason that we had in UtRH because that Jason had moved on from the fact that he had been killed what he was looking for was for Batman to avenge his death. He had other things in mind as well, like I said before in this post Jason had a lot of things going on, killing Joker wasn’t his only plan.

And this situation (written by Lobdell) is also very different from what was going on in New 52 where Jason being influenced by the Joker was used to build a plot. This is just a writer letting us know that this “new version” of Jason hasn’t worked out his problems when it comes to his death and his killer. That means that we are going backward.

After he realizes that he was unconscious all that time and that he was being tortured he does get his shit together in order to get out of captivity and go help Artemis.

The Joker and that whole thing that happened in his mind aren’t mentioned again, it was just for the reader to know that Rebirth Jason has unsolved issues with his death.

Batman: Three Jokers #1

Oh yes, here we are, we have arrived to that dreaded book, awful writing gorgeous art. In this book, the “Joker made Jason as he is now” trope is at its full potential; Johns drives this hellish truck of a book at full speed into our homes and then ends it by giving us one of the worst takes on Jason Todd’s characterization ever.

But first, let’s talk about the Joker and Jason interaction in the first issue. As Jason and Barbara are left alone with the Joker that they came across moments ago the Joker begins talking because that’s what he does.

He says this, “I’m the loop-de-loop, the hamster-wheel-of-doom. The cycle of pain each one of you is trapped in. Take “Red Hood” here, for example. Have you ever wondered why he uses my former moniker? Who in their right mind would take on the identity of their killer? Am I right?”

He is obviously being a little shit on purpose and is waiting to see if somebody will take the bait. Jason is the first to talk and he says this: “I took it because I’m owning what you did to me. You made me into this. I will be your destruction”.

Congratulations Jason, you took the bait, and now Barbara will fight with you over it.

Jason raises his gun to “break the cycle” and Barbara is like “please don’t do it” and boy is Joker having the time of his life! Both of these idiots are playing his game, Johns really did both Jason and Barbara dirty with this.

Here is where THE problem with letting the Joker talk is. This Joker got under Jason’s skin in seconds and Barbara did nothing while it happened.

This is what the Joker had to say. “Let’s look at the facts here bat-people. I bashed this boy’s skull in. I killed this Robin” to which Jason says “You didn’t kill me, you only made me stronger” which is weird because the Joker did kill him so I don’t know what kinda comeback that was supposed to be but Joker wasn’t done because he continues by saying “Yes, you crawled from the shallow grave I left you in. You lived on to fight another day. Hurrah! You survived because of your tenacity! Or maybe… maybe I beat you to a bloody mess… I took you right to the edge… because I wanted to leave you alive.”

Great that’s where the clown is going, just fantastic, more of the “I made you” but that’s not all because the Joker tells Jason that him having hurt Jason wasn’t because he didn’t like Jason, it was all about Batman, Jason doesn’t matter.

But that’s not the worse thing that was written in this awful book, Geoff Johns seems to have felt that the trauma that Jason went through in the original “Death in the Family” story wasn’t enough because he decided to add something new.

That’s why the Joker says this next, “Do you recall what you said to me while I was breaking your head in with that crowbar? As your blood streamed into your eyes and your skull cracked? Because I cherish those words. I’ll always cherish them. ‘Please stop! Please! If you let me live, I’ll do anything you say. I’ll be your Robin’” “And look at you now my little “Red Hood” shooting up people and making Batman’s life miserable! You are my Robin!”

What a nightmare Johns decided to put Jason and Jason Nation through huh? I hate this, this is the worst thing that has ever been written in a Jason Todd story (although I can say that about many things that were written in this three-issue book).

Jason kills the Joker after he says all that, Barbara does (for some reason) try to stop him from doing it but luckily, she can’t stop Jason.

But here is the thing, Jason killing the Joker doesn’t make me feel as satisfied as I would have liked, and it doesn’t feel that way because Jason let Joker talk for far too long and what Joker said ended up getting in Jason’s head and messing with him.

Batman: Three Jokers #2

Yeah, there is no rest for us, Jason Nation, in this issue Jason goes looking for another Joker to kill and he finds one but he gets captured. Johns really had to get Jason naked for Joker to torture him mentally and physically? Johns is, himself, a major red flag but that’s not what I am here to talk about.

In this issue the Joker that captures Jason has the same things to say as the other one, DC writers really have no imagination when it comes to building conflict between Joker and Jason, huh?

Anyway, Joker says this, “tell me something. Why would you put on that helmet and call yourself Red Hood after what we did?” Jason of course replies “Come on, is every one of you copycats gonna ask me the same thing? It’s a joke” the answer isn’t enough for Joker (the two of them that are here with Jason) so he continues talking. “A joke? We left you with brain damage and permanent nerve pain. Physical and emotional trauma so severe that the only relief you ever find is when you inflict pain on others. You and me, boy, we’re more alike than you’d care to admit. But you know that already. You nearly died and you blame the Batman. You hate him for it. Me too. You hate him most of all don’t you?”

Now, here is the thing, that whole thing is bullshit, none of it makes sense. From Jason having permanent nerve pain to Jason hating Batman the most, everything is a lie. And my confusion here is that I don’t know if I have to feel like Joker is doing it on purpose to be a little bitch or if Geoff Johns was on crack when he wrote this and he had actually never heard of Jason Todd in his life before.

The whole thing is a mess, it feels like he is writing Jason from an origin and story that we never read. I don’t know how to explain it, but the whole thing feels cheap, it’s a cheap trope and it’s a cheap take on who Jason Todd is, was, and will be.

The nightmare doesn’t end Jason Nation because these two Jokers have something else in mind, you see, if they said that they made the Red Hood when they killed Jason the first time, maybe if they kill him this time then he could possibly come back as the Joker. Yeah, this book did nothing for Jason.

Let’s make something clear, Jason does NOT hate Batman/Bruce for not being able to save him, he hates the fact that Batman/Bruce didn’t kill the Joker to avenge him. That simple thing doesn’t exist in Three Jokers and that’s why things like the ones that happen next are allowed to happen in this story.

Bruce and Barbara find Jason and when Bruce asks if he is okay Jason just goes berserk, he says: “Am I all right? What do you think Bruce?! You did this to me. You put me on this path. And I do hate you for it. For leaving me in the dirt. Replacing me one Robin after another without a thought.”

This, everybody is what you get when you mix bad writing with Jason being mentally manipulated by the Joker.

It's a shame that Jason is being treated this way at this point in time, in a book that came out in 2020 when Jason was able to shut the clown up with a knife and a couple of words back in 2005. What a downgrade.

At the end of this issue, Jason is safe and recovering but he still is in the same mindset, he says, “What the Joker said about how I’ve been on the path to being like them for years… they are not wrong. I don’t want to be like them though. I really don’t.”

It’s like a never-ending wheel of pain with this book. Jason is talking to Barbara when he says that and he is trying to look for comfort in her. And here is where the Jason/Barbara subplot begins and I only bring this up because something that happens in the next issue is based on the kiss that Barbara gave Jason but then was like “that doesn’t mean anything, I was just trying to comfort you”. Johns shouldn’t be allowed to write Barbara and Jason ever again.

Batman: Three Jokers #3

It’s in this issue that we find out the big subplot that Johns has prepared for Jason, are you ready for it? Yup, Jason should stop being the Red Hood because if he keeps it up, he will eventually become the Joker.

I know, I know! Jason would never stop being Red Hood, he is not on a path to become the Joker, that’s crazy! Jason’s Red Hood is a character on its own and he is amazing and just because he has different morals from Batman doesn’t mean that he is a bad guy! Right?...

“I’ll give up being Red Hood for us. I can be something else. Or I can be just Jason.”

To this day I cannot believe that those words supposedly were written by Jason Todd to Barbara Gordon after Barbara rejected him three times. The level of “what the fuck is this” is incredibly high with this one…

This whole book was a mess and I am so glad that it didn’t last longer.

Anyway, that’s it. In conclusion, Jason didn’t let the Joker get under his skin the first time they interacted after he came back from the dead but later when DC decided that UtRH was just too good of a book they came up with stories where Joker does get under Jason’s skin and Jason becomes convinced that he has no free will (or at the very least he doubts his free will) when it comes to him becoming his own man.

As I have said before, that for Jason Todd is a major downgrade. And it's one of the many things that hurts Jason’s characterization in current comics.

[fallen-stars-au]

Any Kind of Freedom (Chapter 2)

Steven's been missing for over a month now.

Well, okay, he's not missing if they know he's on Homeworld, but he wasn't the sort to just go zero-contact for this long.

And it's officially been long enough.

They would find him and bring him home or get shattered trying.

(Ao3 Version)

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Pearl was… distressed. Her It’s Steven had been away for so very long now—longer than she could ever remember him being gone since she’d first emerged. And now she was disobeying a direct order from him! What in the stars was she even thinking?

She wasn’t supposed to be thinking at all! Stars, she was doing everything wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong, she should be replaced, she- 

Didn’t have much time to continue the train of thought as she was pulled off the warp pad on Homeworld by Peridot. So she listened instead because she shouldn’t be thinking even to berate herself on how disobedient she was being.

“We go to his room. If he’s not there, we find Zircon.”

Lapis nodded sharply, and Pearl would have hardly been going this fast on her own. But the two were practically running and kept her up to speed with them. It was hardly appropriate for any of them to be running in the palace halls… but she was already indecent for breaking the one rule she’d ever been given. And it wouldn’t do if she were caught alone unless ordered so by her Diamond.

The route from the Galaxy Warp over to Steven’s room—Steven’s tower, actually—was an easy one but the longest it could take to get to any of the Diamonds’ chambers which meant time had creeped past Steven’s usual wake-up point by the time they made it there. Lo and behold, when they hurried in (Pearl was pleasantly surprised she was able to open the door but confused because she’d never done the calibration to be able to do as much), no Steven.

Lapis gave an exasperated groan and promptly started to rush off again, and Pearl made to follow her before Peridot called out to them both. “Wait! … Something’s not right here…” After a moment of looking around and thinking, she pointed to a duffle bag by his bed. A closed one. “Steven’s bag is packed.”

Lapis hurried back in the room past Pearl who stepped closer after her again, rather befuddled but unquestioning. She couldn’t help be worried still, though. “What…? So he’s coming home soon? What the hell’s he been doing here so long?”

“No… Lapis, I don’t think he ever unpacked it. Look-” Pearl watched as Peridot picked up the bag, struggling somewhat. “It’s too heavy and too full. He always puts his dirty clothes in another bag—I see him carry both home every time.” She went to pull the zipper, but that was enough for Pearl to speak up with an automatic response.

“My Diamond would not be pleased with anyone rifling through his personal belongings.”

It was difficult to smile obediently and patiently at the glare Lapis gave her and exasperation from Peridot as she dropped the zipper. “Right. Well, I don’t think Steven’s opened his duffle bag since he got here…”

Lapis’s expression screwed up at the implications of that and took the bag from Peridot, having an easier time with the weight of it. “We’ll bring it home with him, then.”

And with that, they were on the move again, straight from Steven’s tower to the building next door and through to a pink closed door. Pearl jumped sharply as Lapis’s abrupt banging on the door frightened her, and she regained her composure and pleasant smile as the door slid open. She also promptly saluted then.

“What did I say about-“ Zircon cut off, taking in the sight of the three gems in front of her and grimacing. “The two of you are trouble when you want to be. He’s not here. And I’m under direct orders to tell no one where he is, so you’re going to have to find someone other than me.”

“Well then tell us who put the gag order on you, and we’ll go ask them,” Lapis shot back, impatient and unwilling to jump through hoops. Something about the way she phrased it, though… upset Pearl. She couldn’t place why, though, so she focused on the conversation again instead— forcing the smile back to her face. She was thinking too much still.

“One of the only four gems who can give me orders. That should be enough for you to determine it. Now, please leave my office. I am incredibly busy at this moment.” Zircon eyed each of them shortly before she turned on her heel and went back into her office, the door sliding closed behind her. Peridot and Lapis gave one another a look that Pearl couldn’t quite grasp before they started walking again, and she dutifully followed them.

“Would you like me to carry my It’s Steven’s bag, Lapis Lazuli?” She asked as they left the building.

“No, Pearl, just keep up with us.” Curt and short, but Pearl did as she was told.

The walk to Blue Diamond’s quarter of the palace was rather short, but the wait once they were there was less so. She nodded her head politely as Blue’s Pearl greeted them, informing them of her Diamond’s presence in a meeting. And from there, they just had to wait. There were hushed discussions between Peridot and Lapis, but Pearl hardly snooped and listened. She was already breaking so very many rules.

When the door they waited outside of finally slid open, Pearl snapped to absolute attention and saluted immediately as the lustrous Blue Diamond stepped out. And she couldn’t help be more than a little appalled as Peridot and Lapis failed to do the same. 

“Oh. You two… are some of Steven’s court, yes? My Pearl informed me I had been requested. What ever might this be about?”

Lapis truly did not pull punches as she lacked any hesitation. “Where is Steven? We know you know where he is. We know he hasn’t been to his room since he got here over a month ago, and we know something’s up.”

Pearl watched fearfully as Blue Diamond’s face flickered through anger then annoyance then settled on sadness. The massive leader looked around at the other gems in the room then took the small group by surprise as she bent over and extended her hand out towards them—offering a place for her to hold them. Lapis, however, ignored it, drew out her water wings, and flew up to Blue Diamond’s usual eye-level instead. The Diamond straightened out and whispered directly to Lapis for a moment.

It was… odd. In a sense. To see another Diamond speaking so secretly and so sadly to a member of another Diamond’s court. Pearl wasn’t sure to make of it still even as Lapis flew back to the ground rapidly, her expression contorted with rage (the likes of which Pearl doubted she’d seen since she’d first emerged—when her It’s Steven fought that awful Spinel).

And her language as she returned to them was hardly filled with words befitting the presence of a Diamond. Pearl found no time to object to it, however, as Lapis set off again without another word to any of them. Instead, she did as she was supposed to.

She bowed to Blue Diamond with her salute still perfectly in place and a soft apology for Lapis’s unsavory speech, and then gracefully followed the two of them again.

Pearl had to properly run in order to catch up and even to keep up once she was behind them again as Peridot had jumped onto her human metal can lid and floated to keep speed with Lapis. Pearl was grateful she could at least hear them still as she tried to stay below them without disrupting anyone else.

“Where is he? What did she say?”

“It’s no wonder he’s been gone! They- I-“ But Lapis was too angry to finish her sentence as she cut it off with an enraged cry and just continued to lead the way.

Past the rest of Blue Diamond’s quarter.

Past most of White Diamond’s quarter until they’d reached almost the back of the area of Homeworld considered the palace where a lone, gray tower stood high above the surrounding ones. Stars, it stood almost as tall as White Diamond’s ship. Wordlessly, Lapis picked her up beneath the arms suddenly—surprising and somewhat frightening her as she took off towards the top of it with Peridot following them closely.

“Where the hell’s the entrance to this thing anyways?”

“There should be an elevator that rises from the ground somewhere—look for where that would connect!”

Just as Pearl started to feel very uneasy at dangling in the air from Lapis’s arms as she was, there was a shout of success from Peridot, and a section of one wall slid open. Once they were inside, Lapis let her back down to the floor and instead approached a vast sealed door in front of them. They were unlike any others Pearl had seen on Homeworld or Earth. There was no visible scanner to open them, no handles, no hinges. The only way to determine it was a door was from the crack running down the middle that was so tightly closed, it was barely visible either.

“Can we even do this…?” Peridot questioned, gazing up at the immense size of the doors.

“Whatever it takes—we’re not leaving until Steven is free,” Lapis affirmed, ready at any moment for a fight should anyone disagree with them.

Pearl froze in her tracks, not noticing anything around for a moment as Peridot and Lapis began to struggle with the door. That word resonated through her. That last word.

Something… wasn’t right. In her.

Or… was it?

No…. Yes?

…. Yes. Yes, something was right. Very right.

She’d disobeyed orders. From her diamond, from the other diamonds, from everyone who had ever given her one… And it felt good… A Pearl disobeying…? But what was she supposed to do when she felt she’d lost the person she looked up to most?

She was just a Pearl—who was she to question-  

But… but she was… she was more than a Pearl. Wasn’t she…?

She was. She… she was… She is.

Something snapped. Or broke free or something, but a flood of memories rushed through her. Memories of rebelling. Memories of Steven… Of helping him. Teaching him. Fighting with him. Fighting for him. Things she couldn’t recognize, but she knew immediately they were real.

More came. Steven wasn’t the first she’d fought to protect. Pearl remembered her. She remembered fighting for her. Protecting her. Devoting everything to her. Loving her… losing her.

Something changed. And she started to reform.

“It’s not going to work, Lapis! There’s nothing to hack into, no weak points to destroy. It’s just too-“ Peridot’s words cut off sharply as she looked towards her friend who was desperately slashing at the tower door with harsh streams of water as a physical offense, but her gaze drifted back behind them from a familiar sort of light brightening up the short hallway. Her eyes widened, and she couldn’t help it as a grin spread across her face just as much. “Lapis- Lapis, look!”

Thankfully, the blue gem did look before she started cursing as Pearl—the real version of Pearl—landed gracefully to her feet, freshly reformed and seeming a bit dazed.

“You’re back!” Pearl stumbled back a bit as Peridot’s arms were slung around her legs, and she looked between her and Lapis confused.

“Wha- what in the Stars has gotten into the two of you?” Not that Pearl could even tell entirely what was wrong with herself at the moment. Her mind was fuzzy, and she was disoriented as she tried to remember where they were and why even as she was hugged tight enough to hurt.

Peridot let go to surreptitiously wipe away a tear under her vizor. “Right. It’s sure to be a struggle to recalibrate yourself for a time. You were rejuvenated for nearly a year. Garnet and Amethyst still are. Steven, Lapis, and I have been trying to bring you all ba-“

“Steven…” The mere mention of him jogged something in Pearl’s gem. Steven… Steven was locked up in the tower. The one Pink had been locked in so often before she’d been created. That’s where they were now. Meaning the door right in front of them was the only thing in their way of bringing him home.

It was almost scary how drastically and rapidly Pearl’s expression changed from confusion to recognition to anger, and Peridot was completely willing to step back out of the way as Pearl gently pushed Lapis off, pulled out two metal swords from her gem, and stepped forward with a look that made it clear how the rebels had won the war with her amongst the leaders.

[soyeahitsmiddleearth]

Hold Me, My Hands Are Cold pt. 1

Fili x Reader x Kili

These cold nights suck, but being sandwiched between two pretty princes doesn't suck in the slightest. 

*There are two other parts on my AO3 that are smut if you're interested*

Traveling during the days is rather easy for the most part. 

All you really have to do is keep an eye out, not fall off your ride, and follow the group. If there's conflict you hide in the middle of the group, and joining in on pleasant conversations is basically second nature. 

These things are all a cinch. Easy as pie. Simple. 

What isn't so simple, is staying warm at night when your little body simply refuses to retain heat. 

Your body just doesn't stay warm all that easily, and as frustrating as it is you certainly can't complain about it because it's your choice. You prefer not to sleep in the middle of the group despite the persuasion of the others.

"It's safer." They insist.

"It's so much warmer." They assure.

"It's quieter." They promise. 

"We won't bother you."  They lie.

On night one you knew that there is no way you'd be able to stand another night in the midst of this pile of dwarves. Bilbo shared much of the same sentiments, too. So the both of you sleep together at the end of the group, but he doesn't need the warmth like you do. And, believe it or not, Bilbo Baggins is also a horrible blanket hog. 

Now, you've only actually slept next to Bilbo, Dori and Nori, and Bofur so you don't know if all of their sleeping habits are the same, but you simply cannot afford multiple sleepless nights in a row. 

Only that's exactly what you've got now that the air has turned icy and the ground frozen as the nights get colder and colder the deeper you get into winter. 

The cold was bearable at first because the beginnings of winter aren't usually that bothersome, but after the first week it really began to freeze.

It was at this time you began to share your sleeping space with Bilbo, and though the first two nights of sleeping next to the hobbit were nice, he didn't take long to show his true colors. In the middle of the third night, you awoke to the feeling of your warm covers being literally ripped off of you. One look to the right told you that it was Bilbo who had done it, and unconsciously too. 

No matter how hard you pulled on that blanket or how vigorously you shook him, you simply could not get him to let it go. So you eventually gave up and lay there on the freezing ground with nothing to cover you other than the chilly air. 

This went on for another week. 

Eventually you reached your breaking point, though, and explained to Bilbo as kindly as you could that you think your sleeping arrangement is going to have to end. He actually seemed kinda bummed about it and asked you why. 

"But you get so cold at night, what's prompting you to leave?" 

"I don't know if you've noticed, my dear Bilbo, but your sleeping habits are going to be the death of me. Every morning I wake up nearly frozen through, so while I very much enjoy sleeping next to you I'm afraid I just can no longer handle it when it's so cold." You reach up and place your hand on his shoulder, smiling sympathetically. "I hope that isn't too harsh. Once the heat returns, though, I'll be back." 

At the end of your explanation Bilbo is smiling, so you assume that you haven't hurt his feelings and go about the rest of your day. Little did you know, the two princes were eavesdropping not too far back. 

---

When night falls once more and the sun is replaced with the white light of the moon, Thorin calls for everyone to stop and set camp for the night. 

You assist Gloin and Bofur in securing the ponies as part of your nightly duties, then move on to your things which you'd settled against near a tree off to the side and further from the fire than you'd like. 

Before long Bombur has some soup cooking in his large pot, and the smell wafts over to your sleeping area. 

Not 10 minutes later is said dwarf calling for everyone to come get their food, but you decided to wait until everyone has got their before going to get your own to avoid the hassle. 

Two pairs of feet disrupt your meal time, and when you look up to see who belongs to those feet, you smile. It's Fili and Kili, and they've both got their dinner in hand as well as an extra bowl held in Kili's other hand. 

"Hello, boys. What can I do for you?" You ask, moving to stand up. 

You're stopped when Fili places his free hand on your shoulder and urges you to sit back down. "We just came to eat with you, is all. We brought you a bowl as well." The older brother explains.

Suspicion makes you look between the two of them distrustingly before you zero in on the food that Kili is holding. "What did you do to it?" Your approach to this is wary, for you're not entirely certain that they wouldn't mess with your food just to prank you. 

"You think we would mess with your food? I'm hurt that you think we're stupid enough!" Kili exclaims with a good-natured laugh. 

Fair. 

You sigh and pat the spots next to you, "Well, sit down then. But I'm warning you, any funny business and I'll skin you both." Your delivery isn't the most threatening you will admit, but it was meant as more of a joke anyways.

The two dwarves settle on either side of you and Kili hands you the extra bowl, and the rest of dinner goes in comfortably with nice conversations and lots of joking around. 

Eventually, though, the soup is all gone, bellies are full, eyes are droopy, and it's time for lights out. 

When Fili and Kili left that ever present cold returned, so you burrow into your bedroll and cover your head with your blanket in hopes of warding off the mid-night chills. Like you expected though, it does very little. 

You don't know how much time passes, but pretty soon you're more focused on warming up than you are on actually sleeping. For a split second you even regret your decision not to sleep next to Bilbo anymore. 

At some point your teeth begin to clack together upon their own accord, and you've since pressed your knees to your chest and wrapped your arms around them in hopes of keeping all of your heat centered. The cold has also decreased blood flow to your fingers, toes, and face, so everything has begun to feel frigid and stiff. It's gotten to the point where all simple movements are a chore. 

Right as you're about to accept your fate of becoming an ice cube, there is movement somewhere just in front of you. 

You're alert right away, but, not wanting to notify whoever it is that you're awake, you don't immediately jump into action. Instead, you grasp a part of your blanket and slowly tug it down to catch a glimpse of the intruder. 

But it's no intruder at all. Rather, you're met with two handsome faces hovering over you less than 5 inches away. You jump and pull your blanket back over your head reflexively, startled at how close they were (how did they move so quietly??). 

Quite chuckles register just above you and it successfully makes you huff indignantly. 

You reach up and pull your blanket back down, glaring up at the pair of them suspiciously much like before. "W-What are you two planning?" You stutter out despite trying to appear cross. The chattering of your poor teeth is just too strong to stop with speech, apparently. 

They look at each other and have a silent exchange instead of answering you, and when it seems that they've come to a conclusion they both straighten up. 

So you try again. "Hey, whatever shenanigans you're getting up to I want no part of." 

Still they do not answer. 

Verbally at least. 

Before you can even open your mouth to demand acknowledgement again Fili is at your feet and Kili has moved behind you. You try to sit up but a pair of arms coming up beneath your armpits and hands grabbing your ankles halt your movements. 

You almost complain, but Fili's hands are really damn warm on your icy ankles and- holy shit these two are strong. 

They lift you up like you're nothing and walk you over towards where their things are, still offering no explanation to their antics might I add, and moments later you're being lowered to the ground gently to lay between their things. You almost get up to return to your things, almost, but when Kili walks back over and grabs all your belongings and brings them over, you realize you just don't care enough. And they've already succeeded in kidnapping you away from your cold patch of ground anyway, and their patch of floor is much warmer than your own. 

You don't really know what you were expecting when they came over and 'woke you up' and literally carried you over to their area, but when Kili settled down to your right and Fili did the same at your left, suffice to say Y/N.exe has stopped working. 

Warmth spreads to your cheeks as you look back and fourth between the two, meeting their eyes each time you turned to look at the other and vise versa. 

"Did we startle you?" Fili asks suddenly, amusement sparkling in his pretty blue eyes. 

You just nod dumbly, looking at him silently as you try to process what the hell is going on. 

Then Kili speaks up, "We've shocked her dumb." It's meant as a joke, you know, but yeah he's not wrong though. 

"I'm not used to being ambushed like that. Especially by two handsome princes who are constantly pranking everyone else." You reply evenly despite your horrid mixture of embarrassment, flattery(?) and incredulity. 

"Aw, she thinks we're handsome." Fili speaks up again. 

Oh god did you actually say that part out loud?

They laugh again.

Shit you didn't say that in your head either.

You shake your head quickly and pull your blanket up to just under your chin. "W-Well, why did you bring me over here anyways?" An attempt to be nonchalant is made on your part, but you don't really think it's working. 

"Isn't it obvious? You're cold, and we are quite warm. Just because we like jokes doesn't mean we'll let the cutest member of our group freeze in the night." God the way Kili says that is so natural it's almost like he isn't complimenting you in an obvious attempt to fluster you. 

"Aye, Kili's got it exactly right. And there is no recollection of you saying you want us to bring you back, so..." 

Ah, now you get it.

They may have brought you over here by force, but they by no means intend to make you stay if you don't wish. 

Who knew they are actually total sweeties behind... nah you knew that the whole time. 

Deciding that their explanation was good enough, you look back up at the sky and lay your arms by your sides. "I'll accept that. But I'm not getting any warmer over here by myself." You state in an attempt to be confident. 

You only fluster yourself with your words though, and when a blush settles across your face again, they decide to poke and prod at your cheeks. 

"She's gone and made herself blush." Wow, great observation Fili. It's not like it's obvious or anything. 

"Okay, okay, we shouldn't bother her anymore. I'd hate to see her explode... or leave." Kili states in a softer voice than before. 

It seems they've had their fill of teasing you (finally), because you're suddenly being engulfed by two strong (WARM) pairs of arms. 

Fili, who is still at your left, turned onto his side and wiggles his right arm beneath your head and ushers your head to rest on his shoulder. Then he moves his not-pinned arm to lay on your stomach, curled so his hand lies on your sternum, between your breasts. It's not a sensual touch in the slightest, and the heavy weight there makes you feel protected.

Meanwhile, Kili has also turned onto his side with his heavy arm settled across your midsection. You can feel his chin pressing lightly against the top of your bosom, his head resting on your shoulder as his leg comes up to wrap around your own. His fingers press into the soft flesh of your side, and you release a quite, pleased sigh. Much like Fili, his touches and the placement of his head is in no way meant to be venereal. 

Being wrapped up between Fili and Kili like this makes your heart thump in your chest, and for a few moments you're not sure what to do with your hands of if it's okay to move.

"Relax love, just get comfortable." Kili mumbles muffledly against your chest. 

You try to do as he says and shift around slightly, closing your eyes as you lay your right arm just below Kili's and grasp his hand while simultaneously turning your head to press against Fili's neck because of the access this position gives you to it. 

Right away you're wrapped up in a cozy warmth and two safe embraces, and for the first time since this horrible winter has started, you feel comfortable. 

Sleep came quite easily to the three of you that night, and for the first time since this damn winter settled in, you actually slept through most of the night. 

When you wake, it's still dark and you aren't quite sure what time it is. 

It doesn't seem like anyone else is really awake yet other than Ori, who is on watch and minding his own business like a good boy, so it must mean that you've got a good few hours left to sleep.

You simply stare up at the sky above for a little while, before an obvious weight on your chest comes to your attention when someone moves. 

At some point in the night, Fili removed his arm from behind your head (no doubt because it fell asleep) and it was no tucked beneath him. His left hand had somewhat migrated in the middle of the night and now, instead of on your sternum, his heavy hand, quite literally, is placed on top of your left breast. Thank god it's the left one, though, because it's your favorite. One of his legs is hooked around your left one too.

While you're gazing down at your intertwined legs, you see that your other leg is entrapped as well, stuck between Kili's as he's basically on top of you. 

Kili's head also migrated in the middle of the night so that it's now laying on your sternum between your breasts in place of where Fili's hand was before (now you're beginning to wonder if it really is accidental, I mean come on, both of them?). His right arm is curled around your midsection too, and your right arm is sprawled out off to the side.

Your left hand is no longer clutching Kili's, for instead it simply rests on your stomach. 

Slowly you lower your head back to the ground, allowing your eyes to slip shut once more when they begin to droop. You're much to comfortable, more so than what's good for you probably, and you find that you loathe the idea of getting up any time soon. 

It doesn't take long for sleep to get ahold of you again, and when it does, you're basically dead to the world. 

---

The next time you wake up, it's not a natural occurrence. 

Movement and soft whispers bombard your senses, and, wanting to things to stay as they were, you whine and mumble a quiet, "Shh... 'm tryin' to sleep..." 

The shifting stops right away and silence ensues once more.

Right when you're at the edge of sleep again, though, you feel something gentle sliding down your cheek and another 'something gentle' caressing your arm. 

With a quiet sigh, you open your sleepy eyes and release a big yawn, eyes watering from the action. 

The first thing you see is Fili's face hovering above yours and his hand gently rubbing your cheek. You glance down and are met with soft brown eyes looking up at you with an expression you've never seen on that face before. His fingers are gently stroking the cool skin of your arm, and it successfully causes goosebumps to spread across your arms and legs. 

You break eye contact when heat begins to spread to your face, and you look back up at Fili who was watching you the whole time. 

"G-Good morning." You stutter out shyly, gaze flickering down to Kili's briefly. 

They both grin at you and reply in unison, "Good morning, Y/N." 

They're whispering, you notice, and with a quick graze of a look around camp you see that only a few early risers have begun to get up for the day, for the sun has only just begun to peek out from the horizon. 

The weight on your chest suddenly disappears, and another face comes up next to Fili's. 

You don't try to get up and instead just look up at the both of them. "Um... hello." You greet again. It seems your brain has ceased all rational functions, because you can't come up with anything witty or sassy to say for once. 

"Hi." Kili whispers back, not seeming amused by your loss for words like he normally would. 

Okay now it's getting kinda weird. 

You reach up slowly and pinch their cheeks in your hands, watching as Fili's nose twitches and Kili straight up glares at you. 

"I guess we haven't broken her after all." Fili muses, sitting back to give you some space. 

You sit up into a seated position once they're both out of your way and you stretch your arms above your head to loosen your tight muscles, squeezing your eyes shut from the effort. You groan softly from the pleasant stretch of your limbs, arching your back slightly to raise your hands higher. Once you're satisfied you allow your hands to drop back to your lap and reopen your eyes, looking between the two who are, still, staring at you. 

A blush unconsciously stains your cheeks again, and you begin to wonder when you've become so self conscious around these two. 

Whatever trance they were in seems to have broken, because suddenly they're both smiling again and moving to gather their things. 

"Now wasn't that much better than freezing to death?" Kili asks, slinging his arm around your shoulders after shoving all of his items at his older brother. 

"Hm, good question," You pause as a bashful smile curls at the corners of your lips, "I'll have to try it again before I can decide." 

Your answer seems to please him, because his grin grows and he looks over at his brother, "What do you think?" 

Fili only rolls his eyes at Kili's antics as he packs your blanket back into your pack for you, "Of course she has to try again, no one can make a decision after only trying something once." 

"Yes, I do suppose you're right, Fee." 

"Of course I am!"

"I wonder what else we can do to shock her?"

Gods these two are going to be the death of you. 

[jaggedwolf]

tscosi 2x04

rain is nice

green as toothpaste cream

A great exchange bc the other day I was contemplating that even if we agreed with an alien that something is "red" would we even know that they are actually seeing red or if they see a different color and would think "red" is the English translation for that color and how much that matters...

They don't like octopi! What a thing I didn't expect, and McCabe just dropped in some octopus facts in the middle of a tense moment.

Anyway! Are we gonna get to see more Dwarnian society stuff thanks to whatever strings Eejhgreb attaches to that blackmail money? I'm down, tell me more about Dwarnian courting rituals and how you're supposed to hide away your illicit human lovers. (I wouldn't have been opposed to McCabe having to murder an agent though. Just saying.)

Rival pirate lovers....I always thought the Dwarnian soap opera was more Downton Abby than Tanglin but apparently it's Black Sails (I still haven't seen Black Sails don't @ me).  Contemplating the notion of Sana, Violet and Park being the odd three that don't get the appeal of the show.

Krejjh jumped to the money option really quickly, and didn't even anchor it particularly strategically - it probably was the best option, but it's fun to consider how different subsets of the crew might've handled the lone agent sitch

knows what macrame is, doesn't know what ROI is

Such incredible grumpiness at being disturbed when she was literally complaining to an empty room that she had nothing to do, I swear

"The impact'd pulp a person"/"Love you too Kady" made me have an incredible amount of feelings about these two in a very condensed moment. Tangentially related, there is an entire graph in my head with what names everyone does and doesn't call each other, because this shows plays so much with that and I love it

Sana saying "first fight is the hardest" to Arkady like she isn't about to demonstrate an entire episode's worth of being a hot mess in this regard. Captain, ILU, but you and Arkady are equally ridiculous about these things, neither of you will ever have the upper hand.

Thinking it can't get worse than the regime is a very Arkady type of optimism. Loved her squabbling with McCabe and McCabe holding their own against her

Arkady considering those years that Violet views with concern as really great years of her life and it being hard to partition out the bad stuff makes so much sense. I was looking at a career advice thing the other day (I know, kinda leftfield, stay with me here), and once you're at a baseline level of security, the things that tend to really motivate people are autonomy, mastery and purpose. It's...not hard to see how fighting in a united human military force against the Dwarnians would beat what came before for Arkady, in all of those aspects.

why'd they stab the paintings

The sister! Only a glimpse, but seems like a hum major, speech with the same kind of interrogatory nature as Violet's though perhaps a bit more reckless.

My brain is desperately trying to resolve the contradiction between "four years apart", "Juniper is 22", "Violet graduated Harmony at a normal age in ‘85" and "this show occurs in 2191", and is landing on ignoring the first statement as the least disruptive choice

By the end of this show Violet will have fake-dated everyone on this ship in front of an IGR officer or two. (Am slightly surprised neither Violet or Park prepped a "siblings or spouses" answer, but it's been a long day and that's a really common last name)

"We're married now but I don't see things working out". I say this every episode but I love Park, he's so funny, he should also go through a fake dating rigmarole with other crew members.

Violet has a...kind of comprehensiveness to her where I 100% bought her going well Arkady isn't talking to me about shit in her life, guess I'm not talking to her about shit in my life. Like, she can go either way but it's gonna be even across the board.

Minor Character MVP: Soup Man! What a dude, it’s nice to hang with someone who’s a little more rooted than our gang and seeing how it plays with an unbounded Sana. They resolved that so neatly that it makes me curious to know how they even fell apart in the first place tbh. And while I’ve never needed canon validation, I appreciate that the conclusion leaves space to play with my fave Sana ships when I do feel like being canon-compliant

[kamccormickhnd1b]

Inspiration: Yousuf Karsh

While on a zoom meeting today, someone mentioned a photographer named “Yousuf Karsh” and my lecturer confirmed he was a really great photographer. So I’ve decided to pick him as more inspiration for myself and below I will be adding some information about the man and some of his work.

Yousuf Karsh was born on December 23,1908, and passed away July 13, 2002. He was 93 years old at the time of his death. Karsh was an Armenian-Canadian photographer known for his portraits of notable individuals, he has been described as one of the greatest portrait photographers of the 20th century.

While an Armenian Genocide survivor, Karsh migrated to Canada as a refugee. By the 1930s he established himself as a significant photographer in Ottawa, where he lived most of his adult life, though he traveled extensively for work. His iconic 1941 photograph of Winston Churchill was a breakthrough point in his 60-year career, through which he took numerous photos of known political leaders, men and women of arts and sciences. Over 20 photos by Karsh appeared on the cover of Life magazine, until he retired in 1992.

Yousuf Karsh was born to Armenian parents Amsih Karsh, a merchant, and Bahai Nakash, on December 23, 1908 in Mardin, Diyarbekir Vilayet, Ottoman Empire.The city's Armenian population was largely Arabic-speaking.His Armenian name, Hovsep, is a variant of Joseph, while Yousuf is the Arabic version of the same name. He grew up during the Armenian Genocide, during which some of his family were murdered.��Karsh and his family escaped to a refugee camp in Aleppo, Syria in 1922 in a month-long journey with a Kurdish caravan. The Economist noted in their obituary of Karsh that he "thought of himself as an Armenian" and, according to Vartan Gregorian, "Although he was proud to be Canadian, Karsh was equally proud to be Armenian."

Karsh in 1938

Karsh was sent to Canada by his family. He arrived in Halifax, Nova Scotia on December 31, 1923 by ship from Beirut. He immediately moved to Sherbrooke, Quebec to live with his maternal uncle George Nakashian (Nakash), a portrait photographer. Karsh worked for, and was taught photography by his uncle. He gave Karsh a Box Brownie camera. From 1928 to 1931, Karsh apprenticed in Boston, Massachusetts for John H. Garo, the most prominent Armenian photographer in America at the time who had made a name for himself photographing Boston celebrities.

In 1932, Karsh opened his first studio in 1932, it was located on the second floor of a building at 130 Sparks Street, which was later named the Hardy Arcade. He was known professionally as "Karsh of Ottawa", which was also his signature. He achieved initial success by capturing the attention of Canadian Prime Minister Mackenzie King, who helped Karsh arrange photography sessions with visiting dignitaries.

Throughout his life, Karsh photographed "anyone who was anyone." When asked why he almost exclusively captured famous people, he replied, "I am working with the world's most remarkable cross-section of people. I do believe it's the minority who make the world go around, not the majority." 

By the time he retired in 1992, more than 20 of his photos had appeared on the cover of Life magazine. Karsh's photos were known for their use of dramatic lighting, which became the hallmark of his portrait style. He had studied it with both Garo in Boston and at the Ottawa Little Theatre, of which he was a member.

in 1941, Karsh’s photograph of Winston Churchill brought him prominence. The photo was taken on December 30, 1941 in the chamber of the Speaker of the House of Commons in the Canadian Parliament in Ottawa after Churchill delivered a speech on World War II to the Canadian members of the parliament. It was arranged by Canadian Prime Minister Mackenzie King. Churchill is particularly noted for his posture and facial expression, which have been compared to the wartime feelings that prevailed in the UK: persistence in the face of an all-conquering enemy. The photo session was short and, just before exposure, Karsh moved towards Churchill and removed the cigar which he had in his hand. Churchill was miffed and showed his displeasure in the portrait.The photo, which according to The Economist is the "most reproduced portrait in the history of photography", has been described as one of the "most iconic portraits ever shot".

During World War II, Karsh photographed political and military leaders and began capturing photos of writers, actors, artists, musicians, scientists, and celebrities in the post-war period. His 1957 portrait of the American novelist Ernest Hemingway, which was shot at Hemingway's Cuban home Finca Vigia, is another well-known photo by Karsh. 

Besides portraits of the famous, Karsh photographed assembly line workers in Windsor, Ontario, commissioned by the Ford Motor Company of Canada. He also photographed landscapes of Rome and the Holy Land to be included in books in collaboration with Bishop Fulton J. Sheen, an annual poster for the Muscular Dystrophy Association, and other works.

I took a liking to this portrait of Albert Einstein the most out of Karsh’s work. Einstein is known worldwide for his genius and his contributions to the scientific world and life as we know it, so I thought it was interesting that Karsh had a dream to photograph Einstein and was able to achieve that dream. I like the use of black and white, but I also like that you can see where the light is focused: on Einstein’s face and hands, I feel it helps to highlight his profile a lot more and is a beautiful photograph to witness. 

This is a portrait of Karsh’s wife, Solange Karsh, in 1958. I liked this image because of the use of shadows over light, Solange is more of a silhouette in this lighting than a well lit sitter. I liked that the background is lite thanks to sunlight and a beautiful woman is stood in the shadows with a cigarette, I liked how different it was to some of his other works where the sitter is lit up well from lighting. In most images, for me anyway, I feel a well lit subject becomes the main focus, the first thing your eyes go to, but this image does the opposite for me. My eyes are drawn to the shadowy figure before anything else in the image.

“To make enduring photographs, one must learn to see with one’s mind’s eye, for the heart and the mind are the true lens of the camera.” 

That is what Yousuf wrote from long experience and what should come first as we think about his portraits.

His camera of choice was large format: 8 by 10 with an interchangeable 4 by 5 back. The developers were to his own formulae because that is what he learned from his early years with George Nakash and John Garo. For negatives, he used special chemicals that allowed a faint green light to reveal the deepening densities so he could judge each one individually. For prints, he had two developers, “hard” and “soft”, and sometimes both would be used on the same photograph–one to bathe the print, and the other to be applied in specific areas with a piece of cotton.

He preferred tungsten lights because he could see the results playing across the faces of his subjects, and they were less disruptive than the flash of strobes. It was like an artist who places paints in the same order on his palette to concentrate fully on the canvas. Yousuf would then make adjustments as the sitting progressed–sometimes minor, sometimes major, but never the same.

He worked with one assistant when traveling or in the studio so as not to break the concentration with his subject–no entourage for hair, make-up, or styling. He was in charge, no matter his subject, and he chose the locations and set-ups.

Once the lighting and composition were to his satisfaction, he would leave the camera with the shutter release innocently in his hand and engage his subject, ready to squeeze the bulb, capture a moment of truth, and share it with us.

That brings me to the final image here, I like that Karsh captured a moment of his wife dancing and smiling, it is a genuine and natural photograph beautifully lit. I like the contrast of the image too: while the background is so dark and there are shadows, Karsh’s wife is beautifully lit and dressed to counter that darkness.

I admire a lot of Karsh’s work, and for my seeing the light project, I hope to make work using him as my inspiration.

[jiminniethemarshmallow]

Unresolved Issues (M)

Pairing: Taehyung x OC

Genre: Smut, angst I guess? 

Word count: about 27k

Warnings: dom!Tae, bratty reader, a tiny bit of spanking, light choking, Tae fingering reader with his gorgeous hands, dirty talk

(A/N): This is for the BSC summer project! Thanks so much to @ironicarmy @jhspetitegf and @sugadrms for being amazing group members, I really had fun brainstorming and working with you guys. I suggest reading all 4 of our scenarios for this project because they overlap and connect quite a bit and it might be confusing if you don’t! Happy reading 😊

Project Masterlist

Summary: Kim Taehyung has always been the insufferable idiot who you can barely tolerate, even as one of his friends. Due to some meddling from your friends, you end up rooming with him on the trip and bonding with him in a way you’ve failed to do in the years you’ve known him, but what happens when you accidentally discover his feelings toward you?

Coffee shops are one of your favorite places to be. The scent of ground beans and baked goods, soft music playing in the background, the general quietness, it’s all so calming to you, and the soothing atmosphere is enough to pull you out of your groggy, disgruntled mood this morning as you push open the door and greet your friends with a silent smile and a wave. After stopping by the counter to order the usual: a medium mocha frappe with extra chocolate sauce on top (you’re a simple girl), you head over and take a seat next to Namjoon and Hoseok, accepting their greetings and small talk.

“You’re late.” You look up to find Taehyung and Jimin sitting across from you with their arms crossed over their chests, eyes narrowed in your direction— though Taehyung’s eyes aim a little lower than your face.

“It’s not my fault that my mother decided to have a rare “parenting moment” and give me a 20 minute speech on safety and boys on my way out the door. And I’m not late.” Your eyebrow arches in defiance, basically having a staring contest with Taehyung as he holds his stance, Jimin having already dropped the act.

“You’re not late, Faye, you’re right on time!” Zoe, Jin’s girlfriend and the mother figure of the group, checks the time on her phone for what you will guess is the hundredth time in the last 10 minutes. She can be a bit neurotic at times, always needing to plan everything to the very last detail, but you love her regardless and honestly admire her dedication and effort with those types of things. It seems like a lot of work. “Now we’re just waiting on Jungkook.”

At the mention of his name, Sooyun shifts in her seat uncomfortably, playing with the sleeve on her cup. You note the way she nibbles on her lip in thought as she glances repeatedly at the door. You know her well enough to find it obvious that something happened between the two of them, but you won’t say anything unless she wants to tell you. Sooyun is one of the first real friends you made in high school, one of the first people who didn’t treat you like an asshole and actually approached you with kindness instead of passing you off as the quiet, weird, artsy girl that always seemed to lurk on the sidelines. She’s the main reason you’re in this friend group, her generally social personality led to her making many acquaintances and friends, which in turn led to you befriending those people as well since you mainly only hung out with her. These friends include Namjoon and his boyfriend Hoseok, Jungkook, Jin, Zoe, Jimin, and his best friend Taehyung.

Kim Taehyung. The clumsy, air-headed, childish asshole that you begrudgingly call your friend. When you first met him, you absolutely despised him. He was the class clown in your 9th grade gym class and never took a single thing seriously, cracking jokes at every convenience and disrupting the class with his obnoxious behavior. It’s a wonder how you haven’t killed him yet. He seems to take pleasure in pressing your buttons, which you have a quite a few of, and even though you know he does it on purpose, you can never seem to control your temper with him. The only reason you even attempt to tolerate him is because you have a soft spot for Jimin and his manggae cheeks, therefore, you are obligated to accept his best friend. Don’t get me wrong, Tae is one of your closest... “friends”... and you know a lot about each other, but that doesn’t mean that your annoyance toward him has lessened at all.

You sit back and watch as conversation continues among your group, everyone listening to Zoe as she briefs you all on what she has planned for the trip— apparently she printed out a schedule with possible group activities and events. You try your hardest to ignore Taehyung as he spreads himself out across from you, manspreading beyond belief and spewing nonsense as usual. Jimin agrees with nearly every stupid idea that he comes up with and you can’t help but roll your eyes at the pair of them, not missing the wink Taehyung sends your way when he catches your annoyance. At some point Zoe starts to freak out about Jungkook not being here and Jin comforts and reassures her with strong arms wrapped around her waist. You’ve never been big on sappy couples, but you have to admit, they are absolutely, undeniably adorable together. It’s amazing to you how they’ve been together for so long already and have stayed virgins. You aren’t even a virgin and you can hardly say that you’ve had any “real” boyfriends, but you digress. That’s honestly none of your business.

“I’m here!” Jungkook bursts through the door clumsily and Zoe takes the time to scold him while you gather your suitcase and prepare to stand up. A man at the front counter appears with a cup and calls out your name and you depart the table abruptly to claim it, bag in tow. Leaning on the counter, you address the man with a smile, and take the drink with you name on it.

“Finally got my name right.” You beam, grabbing a straw from the dispenser and opening it with your teeth.

“Oh! Let me fix that for you,” He grabs his marker and crosses out your name, rewriting it as “Fade” instead, laughing when you blow the paper straw wrapper at him. “I’m gonna miss not seeing you here every week, Faye.”

“Yeah, me too. I always had the best times here, I’m going to miss hanging out here with my friends.” You frown. Recently, you’ve been feeling rather nostalgic and now everywhere you go you feel a rush of memories and then a brief sadness. Yes, you are moving on to bigger and better things, but you’re going to miss this life. As you share saddened looks with the barista, a sudden presence slides up beside you and your face hardens. “I definitely won’t miss this one, though.” You point with your thumb.

“Hello, Kai.” Taehyung’s voice deepens the way it does when he’s trying to seem intimidating, his eyes staring back and forth between you and your acquaintance.

“Hello, Taehyung.” He responds with the same energy and you feel Taehyung shift an inch closer to you causing you to move your arm so they don’t touch.

“Flirting with customers again, are we?” Taehyung’s thick eyebrow raises quizzically and Kai blushes, though he holds his ground.

“Invading other’s personal space again, are we?” You snort at this, earning a smirk from the man across the counter.

“Is it illegal for a guy to talk to a woman without having an ulterior motive? Not everyone is like you, Tae.” You cut him a steely look and he sucks his teeth.

“You don’t know what his motives are, the guy clearly likes you.”

“I’m standing right here...” Kai mentions, heat radiating off of his face from your lack of reaction.

“Yeah, but at least he’s not a dickhead like you.” Before he can open his mouth to say anything, you grab your luggage and turn away. “Everyone’s about to leave without us, let’s go. Bye, Kai! I promise I’ll visit again before I go off to school!” You wave back at him, noticing how his eyes follow you all the way out of the door and how Taehyung looks back at him menacingly once more before he exits the building. You throw your bag into the trunk of Jin’s car and plop down in the back seat, groaning when Taehyung slides in on the other side of Jimin. “Why can’t you go in the other car?”

“I want to sit with my best friend.” He pats Jimin’s shoulder with a toothy grin. “What, is it illegal for me to ride in the same car as you?” He mimics your voice from earlier and you choose not to say anything back, turning your head toward the window to hold your tongue. Instead, you just shake your head and slip on your headphones, turning on your road trip playlist and pulling out your notebook. It wasn’t too long of a ride to the lake house by your standards, maybe an hour or two, and you planned on occupying yourself the entire way to avoid having to actually engage in conversation this early in the morning. Once everyone is in place, Jin pulls out of the lot and leads the way, Jungkook’s car following closely behind as your journey begins.

Taehyung stares at you in intrigue, thick eyebrows knit as he studies you. Your lilac, chin-length hair shifts in the wind around your soft face, pushed behind one ear when it threatens to obstruct your view. Your deep eyes are cast down, focused on the pencil that strokes fluidly across your notepad before flicking upward to take in the scenery, drawing lines that will magically connect into a beautiful masterpiece. He’s seen you do it many times, completely relaxed in your hunched over posture as you look on objectively at your surroundings, copying down everything that you see at a glance. You’re a pretty girl— not that that determines your value— and you’ve got talent and intelligence that will take you far in life and he admires that about you, always so observant and collected. Never cocky, but still confident, yet quiet at the same time. And you just look so peaceful and natural right now.

“The fuck are you looking at?” You hiss. Behind your deceivingly calm demeanor is a sharp tongue. Your whip-like wit is something to behold and it’s almost always targeted at him. You could feel him looking at you before you even looked up, he’s not very subtle. You suspect that most of the reason his eyes have landed on you is because of the strapless top you’ve elected to wear that shows off the slightest bit of cleavage, and now he can’t take his eyes off you. Pervert. He looks completely unbothered when you catch him, barely batting an eye.

“You have a booger in your nose.” He points across Jimin, and you smack his hand out of the way, not even needing to take off your headphones to know what he’s said. “What are you even drawing? There’s no way you can see anything long enough to draw it.”

When you don’t reply, he leans closer to see, nearly smashing the poor boy stuck between you two. “Tae, Jesus, let me breathe.” Jimin whines, pushing him away. “If you’re going to be like this then maybe we should switch seats so I don’t have to be in the middle of whatever’s going on here.”

“No!” You say a little too loudly, causing Zoe to turn around in the passengers seat.

“You two better not argue the whole way up here.” She frowns, glaring at the two of you.

“I’m literally just sitting here in silence, trying my best to ignore him and draw, why am I being yelled at?” You sigh, increasing the volume of your music to increase your skills at ignoring him.

“Don’t worry, I’m sure they’ll have plenty of time to talk out their problems on the trip.” Jin snickers, receiving another striking look from Zoe and a high pitched giggle from Jimin. Taehyung looks around, clearly lost (as always), but no one says anything further, so he asks.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“Jin, we weren’t supposed to tell them until we got there!” Zoe says through her teeth, as though the two of you couldn’t hear her.

“Can someone please tell me what’s going on?” At Taehyung’s second attempt, you pause your music and listen in, intrigued with what was so important that they felt the need to hide it from the two of you. “Jimin?”

“Don’t ask me, I wasn’t the one who spilled the beans.” Jimin holds his hands up in defense, not willing to get his head bitten off by Mother Hen in the front seat who seems to avoid your eyes at all costs. This time, you’re the one to ask and she finally gives, sighing before sinking into her chair.

“We all decided who wants to room together at the coffee house and everyone agreed that you and Tae should stay in the same room.” When she breaks the devastating news, the whole car is silent for just a split second before you erupt.

“I’m sorry, what?! You didn’t. You did not. You. Did. Not.” Zoe simply nods at your disbelief, folding her hands in her lap innocently as Jin chuckles beside her. The longer you stare at her, however, the more nervous she becomes until she feels like the air should be broken somehow.

“Don’t look at me, it was Jin’s idea!” She immediately throws him under the bus, his jaw dropping in shock.

“Babe!”

“It was! And you’re the one who brought it up! We weren’t even supposed to tell them.” As they fuss about blame and who said what, you’re left in the back, shell-shocked. You and Taehyung. Spending a weekend in the same room. Together. You think you’re going to be sick.

“You guys decided rooms without us?” Tae finally speaks up, not looking nearly as disturbed as you thought he should be.

“Because they were plotting against us, that’s why.” Breaking out of your trance, you point an accusatory finger at Jin’s seat in front of you, wishing you could shoot lasers out of your eyes. Then you turn to the man beside you who finds the whole situation funny. “Jimin, why aren’t you rooming with Taehyung? I thought you were best friends!”

“We are, but I don’t think we make good roommates.”

“But we do?!” An immediate headache forms behind your eyes and you rub at your face. You’re ready to jump out of your seat, but then you remember that you are currently in a moving vehicle. You hate that you’re this flustered over such a small detail, but you can’t think of a worse torture than spending your nights in the same room as that buffoon. And when you look over at the dumb look he has on his face, you start to regret this trip before it’s even begun.

“We are not changing rooms now, it’s already been decided. You guys need to learn how to get along at some point and this is the perfect way to do it. I don’t know why you hate each other, but I’m tired of you arguing all the time, so you either talk it out, or I’m excluding you from all of the fun activities I planned. C’mon, this should be easy. No one bonds faster than roommates!” Not even you can argue with her after Zoe puts her foot down. You can tell she’ll be a great mother when the time comes, if she ever gets around to doing the deed with Jin. She ends with a tight, demanding smile and you resist the urge to dry heave at the thought of what’s to come.

“So, what you’re telling me is that this was all a set up?” She doesn’t reply to your question and you close your notebook in despair. “Why are you trying to ruin my life?”

“I live for the drama,” Jin gloats once you’ve given up, chancing a glance in the rear view mirror to see your expression. “I thought this trip could use a little excitement. You’re welcome.” He shrugs, chaotic as always.

“I’m glad you find this entertaining.” You’re absolutely drained, feeling like the life has been sucked from your face. You can’t even draw anymore, all of your previous energy and high spirits going straight to Hell, the same place you hope Jin ends up. For the rest of the ride up you sit in misery, listening to your music and wallowing in your misfortune as you tune out the other conversations. You don’t know how Taehyung is taking the news, but what you do know is that if you see his face at all before you get to the lake house, you might just jump out the window.

The lake house is right on the water, beautiful wood and stone architecture that blends in nicely with the nature and trees that surround it. This house is huge, easily able to accommodate your group, and you admire the details when you pull up into the driveway. The first thing you notice are the windows, large and numerous, exposing many parts of the house to natural light. It’s beautiful and if you weren’t so angry right now you would definitely draw it. You’ll have to come out here one day and sketch this in your notebook.

Zoe spends an entire 5 minutes talking about house rules and going over her precious schedule so “everyone knows what we’ll be doing this weekend.” Your take away from her speech is that drunk swimming is strictly prohibited, no one is allowed to go off into the woods alone without telling anyone, and to basically not destroy Jin’s family’s nice vacation home or you’ll be paying for damages. Half of you aren’t even listening— including Jimin, who is too enraptured in the task of taking selfies in front of the house, and Taehyung, who is zoned the fuck out and probably has no clue what is going on— and the few of you who are paying attention only nod silently in agreement to everything she says. As soon as she stops talking, you’re on the move, wanting nothing more than to relax inside.

“What’s up with her?” Jungkook comments in passing when you snatch your bag from Jin’s trunk and stomp past him.

“We told them about the rooms.” Jimin answers, nodding in confirmation at the boy’s wide eyes before pushing past to make a run for the bathroom inside.

“Guys, wait here, I have something to show you.” Jin runs inside the house without further context, leaving the rest of you standing outside in confusion.

“Hurry up!” Taehyung calls, leaning against the closed trunk of the car. The sound of his voice makes you want to punch him just to relieve your frustration.

A minute later, Jin emerges from the house, followed by another man whom you had never seen before. He stands a little bit shorter than Jin, handsome face blank behind his black bangs, yet he looks friendly enough. “This is Yoongi! He’s my parents’ new android, he’s gonna be helping us out this weekend.”

You stare for a few seconds, taking in his words. An android? You had no idea that people were actually purchasing those. You’ve seen ads on tv for them, everyone going crazy over the newest innovations in A.I. and android tech, but those things cost a fortune so you assumed nobody had them. On second thought, it makes perfect sense that Jin’s parents would buy such a costly... appliance... person-thing. They’re certainly rich enough. Yoongi greets each of you individually, shaking your hands and asking for everyone’s names. He looks so life-like, you could forget he wasn’t made of real flesh and bone. Jin explains the details of how Yoongi functions, how he takes commands because his job is essentially to be the groundskeeper for the lake house, but that he is fully conscious and self aware, which means that he can function socially.

“That’s so cool!” Namjoon gushes, his nerdy side coming out as he moves to inspect the “man” in front of you. After the novelty of the introduction wears off, you are the first to head inside, too hot and irritated to listen to Taehyung complain about not wanting to carry Jimin’s bag in for him. You walk in to find Jimin walking around the spacious bottom floor, jaw hanging low as he looks at all the fancy decorations and appliances that fill the home. You could tell him that he missed Yoongi’s introduction, but you’re still pissed off at him.

“Wow, I can’t believe we’re staying here!” He sounds like an excited puppy, making it a point not to miss a single detail in his path.

“I can’t believe you’re making me stay in the same room as Taehyung.” You say bitterly, pressing the button to the elevator even though the stairs are right there. He doesn’t even spare you a glance.

“I’m gonna make sure we make good use of the bar back there,” You roll your eyes as he continues making plans by himself, mostly talking about getting drunk and doing stupid things around all of this expensive furniture. You can only shake your head at him.

Everyone moves their bags into your agreed upon rooms, Jin with Zoe, Hoseok, Jimin, and Jungkook staying together, Sooyun with Namjoon, and Yoongi getting his room by himself. And of course, you and Taehyung. You plead with Jin to switch you with Yoongi and let you have the single room, to no avail, and spend the rest of the time unpacking and sulking, avoiding Taehyung at all costs. You’ll be over it in a couple of hours, you’re sure, but for now, you just want to sit and wallow in your gloom.

“Hey, it’s not that bad, we can-“

“Stop. I don’t want to hear it.” You shut him down immediately, back facing him and jaw clenched as you stuff clothing into the drawers of your dresser. You aren’t particularly upset with him, this isn’t his fault, but he definitely isn’t making the situation any better.

“What the fuck are these?” Walking over, Taehyung reaches into your small luggage bag, pulling out a pair of your most comfortable panties, a pair of boy shorts with cute little bears on them. “Aw, you act all tough, but you’re really just a big softy, huh?” He pouts, doing his famous aegyo that makes you want to throw your shoe at him, so you do.

“Put those down! Not all girls wear lingerie all the time, Tae, some of us actually like to be comfortable.”

“No, I like them. Bears suit you: cute and fluffy on the outside, mean and vicious once you get close to them.” He easily dodges the other shoe you throw.

“I am not mean.” How dare he say that about you, of all people. He’s the one who deliberately tries to piss you off, so much so that it’s gotten to the point that you get irritated if he even breathes in your direction.

“Oh yeah? Says the girl that just threw her shoes at my head.” A cocky little smirk crawls on his lips when you fume, ready to stand up and just say ‘fuck it’ and fight him. But you won’t. And you never will. He knows this, and that’s what makes him that much more insufferable.

“Fuck off.”

“See! Why can’t you be nice for once? We’re going to be sharing this room whether you like it or not, so we might as well try to be cordial with each other.” He looks on as you stare at him in silence, considering his offer shortly before scoffing and turning back to continue filing away your clothes.

When Taehyung leaves to go to the bathroom, you quickly dig into your bag for the embarrassing amount of condoms your mother stuffed into the side pocket, gathering them in one of your caps and stepping out into the hall. Everyone’s doors are open thankfully, so you walk down the hall like a flower girl and throw handfuls of condoms into each doorway.

“What the hell?” Namjoon sticks his head out of the door to find you walking back down the hall nonchalantly, holding the last few in one hand. “Umm?” You turn, shrugging.

“I don’t need ‘em.”

Hoseok pops his head out of the room across from his boyfriend, carrying a bunch of them in his arms. “Thank you!”

Yoongi’s door is at the end of the hall and you knock before entering, finding him opening the curtains a little wider to let in the sunlight. You stand there silently for a moment, taking in his appearance. He truly looks like a human, it’s crazy. He stands at the window, watching the birds and the leaves and the breeze and you wait a few long moments before disturbing him. “Yoongi?” He turns quickly at attention, as if waiting for instruction. “Do you want some condoms?”

“Condoms?” He questions, and you’re not sure if he knows what those are.

“Yes?” You hold them out and he approaches, picking up a package to inspect it. Can androids even have sex? You wouldn’t know.

“Yes, of course I’ll take some condoms because I’ll definitely need them.” He says with a completely straight face, adding an eye roll at the end. Did he just give you sarcasm? Jin did say he’s advanced, maybe you should try to be more comfortable around him. You’ve never met anyone rich enough to own an android so this is your first interaction with one aside from what you’ve seen on tv.

“Well I don’t need them. I was just offering.” Despite his comment, he takes them from your hand with a smile.

“I appreciate your thoughtfulness. You should keep one, too. Never know what might happen.” You nod at his advice, keeping one for yourself even though you highly doubt you’ll be needing it.

It’s later now, the sun nearly all the way set, casting the most lovely shades of orange, pink, and even purple across the sky, the water reflecting it so beautifully. You couldn’t imagine a prettier sight and you wish that you had your paints with you so you could capture this landscape, but a simple photo will have to suffice. Looking out over the water, you stand alone on the patio as everyone gets ready inside, preparing food and other snacks and necessities for your movie night under the stars. Zoe’s idea of course, but you have no complains about her plans. Just then, Tae walks up and stands beside you, hands in the pockets of his shorts as he takes in the view.

“I saw this exact thing in a dream once,” He starts, and you’re already shaking your head for him to stop, mentally begging him not to ruin this perfect moment. “It looked just like this, except I was on a boat and I was getting my dick sucked by that girl in our history class.” You take in a deep breath, eyes shut while you collect yourself, and then you decide it’s not worth saying anything to that and simply walk back inside to help the others. “I don’t know why she was there, I didn’t even like her like that!” He tries to justify, but you’re already gone.

“Faye! Come help me at the grill!” Sooyun waves you over, standing over the fancy appliance after Jin helps her turn it on, heading back into the kitchen. It looks like something you would see on a cooking show, top notch equipment and cooking utensils, cleaned spotlessly.

“That rich motherfucker,” You shake your head in disbelief. “Who even owns stuff like this? I bet this one grill is worth enough to pay my college tuition.” You laugh, helping her place food on the racks.

“Forget the grill, I’m surprised his parents own this whole place, it’s like a freaking resort! Actually, no I’m not, they already live in a mansion, this is probably nothing to them. But I didn’t expect them to let all of us stay here without adult supervision.”

“Sooyun, we are adults. Technically.” As a group of 18 year olds fresh out of high school, legally, you all could be considered adults. But you’re far from responsible. Jin’s parents must have a lot of faith in you all to let you stay here with a fully stocked refrigerator and bar— your parents would never let you do such a thing, even with supervision.

“Yeah, ‘adults’. You said your mom gave you a lecture this morning? What about?” Sooyun is a really great listener and you’ve confided in her multiple times throughout the period of time you’ve known her, so naturally she knows the most about your private life. Jimin is another great listener in the group— on the rare occasions when you can get him alone— but he has the tendency to say a lot of things he’s not supposed to when he gets drunk, so you kinda stopped sharing secrets with him. Plus, he’s already Taehyung’s secret holder, you wouldn’t want to overburden him.

You sigh. “She basically gave me a rundown of how to survive in the wilderness and what to do if we see a bear. I tried to tell her we’re not camping outside or anything, but of course she wouldn’t listen to me and kept talking anyway. Then she shoved a handful of condoms into my bag because she “couldn’t trust that a horny group of teenagers will be able to keep their hands to themselves”, so she gave them to me “just in case” and then proceeded to lecture me about getting pregnant and STDs.”

“Is that why there was a pile of condoms left on my floor? I thought someone was pulling a prank.” She mumbles, looking a little relieved, closing the lid of the grill to let the food cook properly. “But at least she cares, right?”

“Yeah I guess...” Your mother has never been good at the parenting thing. At times you felt as if she were too lenient, giving you more freedom than you needed and letting certain things go unpunished. You aren’t a bad child, you rarely do things that deserve punishment, but growing up you wished she were a little more involved in your life or at least showed that she gave a crap about what you did, and now that you’re going away to college she’s finally stepping in to be the parent that you needed a long time ago. “I think she realized how much time she wasted not acting like a parent and now she’s trying to make up for it. But it’s too late, I grew up already and she missed it. I appreciate her effort, but at this point it’s just annoying and unwanted.” She nods, taking in your words silently. “She did say something that I agreed with, though. Stay away from Kim Taehyung.”

Both of you look toward the glass patio door where you can hear Taehyung and Jimin either laughing or arguing over at the bar, most likely trying to decide how drunk they want to get tonight. Tae is the loudest, shouting something about vodka and sexy bartenders and the two of you just shake your heads. The only times Tae actually drinks are when he’s with Jimin or there’s a threat of him being the only sober one. He told you once that he hates alcohol and how it tastes, yet you somehow find him drunk at almost every social gathering you’ve attended in your high school career. And drunk Tae is not something you want to deal with, ever, especially since you’ll be sharing a room with him tonight.

“What’s your problem with him? Don’t take this the wrong way, but I don’t get why you have such a vendetta against him when he’s literally done nothing wrong.” Leave it to her to always speak her mind. It’s something you’ve always admired her for and that’s probably why you get along so well.

“He’s an idiot and I don’t understand him. I feel like he doesn’t think about the words that come out of his mouth 97% of the time and that irritates the hell out of me.”

“Yeah, but neither does Jimin. They’re stupid as a pair, it’s not just Taehyungie, but you like Jimin just fine.” She does have a point there. Jimin isn’t the bad influence that causes Tae to do stupid things— he’s capable of that all on his own— but for some reason when they’re together, Tae just gets exponentially worse. You have a theory that the two of them actually share one collective brain cell, except Jimin holds it most of the time and Tae only uses it when he needs to swindle someone into getting something he’s not supposed to have.

“I don’t have a problem with Jimin, he’s had a tough life and I know most of the time his behavior is just a coping mechanism for the shit he’s going through. I actually think he’s really strong and has a great personality, and if he wasn’t gay I probably would have jumped his bones by now.” It’s no secret that you are attracted to Jimin. I mean, have you seen him? When you first met, you couldn’t stop blushing and drooling over him, despite his questionable behavior and moods at times, and when you learned of his background as a boy whose only home has been an orphanage and the other children that live in it, you completely fell for him. You swear you were obsessed with him for at least a month after your first introduction, you were even nicer to Taehyung to get closer to him. But then one day you heard him talking about his crush on a boy in one of his classes and your hopes were shattered. He claims he’s bi, but you have yet to witness him actually having a crush on a girl. Either way, you quickly discovered that he certainly does not have feelings for you. “Taehyung, on the other hand, doesn’t have an excuse for the shit he does. And it doesn’t help that he’s always purposely doing things to pick on me.”

“Maybe he does have a reason.”

“I doubt it. He’s just an asshole.” You conclude there at the sound of the door opening, Jungkook walking out to rearrange the seats to face the screening wall. Sooyun tenses when he enters, but plays it off quickly. Not before you notice, however.

“He’s not the worst of them, though. We’ve met some pretty horrible guys.” She jokes, trying to speak a little quieter now that Jungkook is within earshot.

“Maybe we’ll have better luck with guys in college. Maybe I’ll like someone who is actually into girls and maybe you’ll find someone who isn’t-“ your best friend. Not that it’s a bad thing. You stop yourself from saying it out loud, remembering how you weren’t going to say anything about the two of them unless she decided to bring it up. She doesn’t seem to notice your slip up. “I heard that most people meet their soulmate in college.”

“Please, I’d be lucky if I find 1 guy that’s interested in me. I have terrible luck with men.” Jungkook looks up from behind her, quickly looking away once he catches your gaze. Yup, something definitely went down between the two of them. You haven’t figured out if it was a good or bad thing yet.

“You’re a smart girl with an amazing smile, I’m sure there will be men falling over you once you get there in the fall.” There’s still uncertainty in her eyes and she avoids yours by opening the hood of the grill again and checking on the food. It looks mostly done so you grab a plate and wait for her to pile them on. You keep looking back at Jungkook over her shoulder, he seems distracted and that’s probably because he’s been listening in on your conversation. The idea of Sooyun going away to college and meeting other people seems to bother him and you wish she would just turn around and see that. But she doesn’t.

“Sure, I might be pretty for high school standards, but I doubt I’ll look all that special to anyone in my first year. I’ll have to wait for my ‘glow up’ before anyone even looks at me.”

“Shut up, you’re beautiful.” Before you can even open your mouth to reassure her, Jungkook’s voice sounds from behind. He says it so confidently, like it’s the only thing he’s certain of in his life, and when you both turn to look at him, he meets her eyes as if to say that what he’s just spoken is the truth. And then his eyes return back to his work.

Sooyun looks frozen in place, no longer looking at him but staring off into space, her hand still holding firmly onto the poker she was using to remove the food. “Hello?” You wave a hand over her face, concerned by how it looks like she’s having war flashbacks behind her eyes, teeth biting down hard on her bottom lip and chest heaving. What on earth was she thinking about? “Sooyun, are you in there? The food is burning!”

“Huh?” This seems to snap her out of it and she blinks rapidly a few times before turning back to the grill and cursing at the sight of burning food. You want to ask her about it, but telling from the mortified look on her face, she probably doesn’t want to talk.

A few minutes later, everyone is settled in a seat, snacks distributed along the coffee table for convenience within everyone’s reach. You reach for a bag of snacks, after the first 10 minutes of the movie after eyeing them since they got there, and since nobody claimed them yet, you decided it was yours for the taking. You lean forward slowly, as not to cause too much of a distraction, but just before your fingers reach the wrapper, a longer pair close around it and pull them out of reach. You lock eyes with none other than Kim Taehyung, who seems to freeze when he realizes his mistake, but he doesn’t offer them to you like any of your other friends would. Instead, he slowly begins to open the bag while making eye contact with you through the darkness.

“Don’t you dare.” You mouth at him, watching as he reaches his fingers into the bag and pulls out a large handful of the treats, shoving them into his mouth and crunching loudly. “You bastard, those were mine!” You try to whisper your rage as quietly as possible, but everyone hears you anyway.

He holds the bag up to his face, inspecting it from all angles before looking at you with an innocent look on his face. “I don’t see your name on it.”

“You saw me reaching for them.”

“You should have moved a little faster, I couldn’t tell what you were reaching for.”

“Not everyone has alien fingers like you.”

“Well, not everyone has baby hands like you.”

“Guys!” Namjoon interjects, cuddled up with Hoseok between you two. “Why can’t you just share?”

“I don’t think he knows what the word “share” means.” You narrow your eyes at Taehyung, who is still munching on your snacks.

“Why don’t you just take the bigger bag?” Someone suggests, directing your attention to the large family sized bag of the same snack in the middle of the table. If you open that bag, you’ll eat until it’s empty and you’ve gained 10 pounds. No thanks.

“I don’t want that one. It’s too big,”

“That’s what she said.” Tae snickers, pleased by the flames that flare up behind your eyes. “Fine, I’ll give it back.” After sinking his hands into the small bag for 2 more enormous handfuls, he tosses it back to you across the table and watches with a mischievous glow as you pick it up and peek inside.

“It’s empty.” As expected. You’re seething, though, speaking through your teeth as you try to get your rage under control. You sit the bag down gently, reaching for a bag of candy instead, and out of the corner of your eye you see him lean forward too, but this time there’s a deadliness in your gaze that makes him retreat with a boxy, almost sheepish grin.

Your attitude continues throughout most of the movie, angrily stuffing gummies into your mouth as you try to get over how petty Taehyung is. He’s so childish, taking a snack that you were clearly going for and eating it in front of you, adding insult to injury by handing you an empty bag. How old is he anyway: 6? He’s so frustrating sometimes, you just want to go over there and slap some sense into him.

“Are you still pouting over those snacks?” Hobi asks once he looks over and sees your bent up expression. “It’s not that big of a deal.” He laughs.

He’s right, it’s not that much of a problem. You’re just making it into one. Upon closer reflection, you realize how childish you must look to all of your other friends. Sure, Tae purposely tried to get on your nerves and it worked, but it always works. You always argue and throw a fit when things don’t go your way, and the more you watch the movie, the more clearly you see that. A character in the film started off as the annoying girl who complained about everything and thought the world was out to get her, when really, it was just her outlook on things and reactions to minor inconveniences that made situations worse. Everyone could see it, it was painfully obvious, and you begin to see a similarity to her in yourself. Did you act like this with Taehyung? Were you the petty one who exploded over the smallest inconveniences or discomfort around him? Yes, he can be an asshole sometimes, but there is a more adult way to deal with him. You were just talking to Sooyun about being adults, yet here you are, pouting over a bag of snacks that you could literally get in a bigger size across the table all because you wanted that specific one and now you’re upset because somebody else took it. When you look at it from an outside point of view, you’re the one that looks silly here. This is the type of argument you would have to settle if you were babysitting a group of elementary schoolers— not one involving almost college students. And thinking back to previous arguments you’ve had with him over the years, it’s always been like that. That’s not to say that Tae wasn’t also in the wrong, but maybe you could handle his immaturity in a different way other than bringing out your own.

You feel like your underlying issues stem from the lack of reinforcement and consequences you received for your behavior as a child when you would act out around other children, and it is your parents’ fault for not teaching you the appropriate way to deal with things like this, but that’s too deep of an introspection for you at this point in the story. And you can’t be your own therapist. Self reflection and awareness doesn’t happen all at once, people. That shit takes time.

The rest of movie night is surprisingly enjoyable. The movie you all agreed on is corny and definitely not your usual genre, but you enjoy it no less and find yourself fully engaged by the end of it. A cool breeze blows by and you burrow into a blanket, shifting to be comfortable during the last few scenes of the movie. When it ends, you’re the first one to offer to clean up, not even realizing that Yoongi had already started. It’s pretty late, almost midnight actually, so as soon as everything is back in it’s rightful place, everyone heads up to their rooms for the first night at the lake house.

Your rooms each hold one (1) unreasonably comfortable King sized bed, in which you were expected to share with your roommate. Great. Taehyung skips out on clean up a little early and you walk into the room to find him sprawled out in nothing but loose shorts and a t-shirt. It’s clear he’s going commando, you can see the outline of his dick all the way from where you stand on the other side of the room— not that you were looking. If you took the time to really look at him, he’s actually pretty hot. His pretty, brown, slightly wavy hair swoops down to cover his intense eyebrows, partially concealing his expression as he stares down at the phone in his large hands. The profile of his face is gorgeous, beautifully shaped nose, pillowy lips, and a sharp jawline his defining features, even his eye shape is endearing. Objectively, some people would say he’s very attractive, you’ve heard many girls refer to him as the most handsome man they’ve ever seen, but you don’t think you’d go as far as saying such bold statements. Not when his personality overshadows his looks.

“Why are you taking up most of the bed already?” You huff, walking over to your luggage to gather your pajamas. “Do I have to fight you for bed space too?”

“No, I’ll respect your half of the bed.” He gives in easily, scooting over a bit to demonstrate his honesty. You look up at him.

“You better, I can get pretty aggressive at night in bed.”

“Mm, kinky.” He winks, not missing the opportunity to be inappropriate.

“That’s not how I meant it.” You’re flustered slightly for some reason, hating how he always knows just what to say to get a reaction out of you. Then you pause and take a look at yourself. A mature person would just brush him off and mind their business instead of encouraging him. So that’s what you try to do. “Whatever, I’m going to go take a shower.”

Without another word, you strut into the bathroom, ready to wash away this day. While under the warm stream of water, you think about the day and how you acted. Nothing bad happened to you. The only thing is that you were paired with an idiot, and from what you gathered, it was because everyone wanted you to talk out your problems and actually get along for once. But you dragged that one little “issue” with you all day and it prevented you from enjoying yourself to the fullest on your first day of this short vacation. You wouldn’t have done anything differently if you weren’t as upset, you’re still pretty reserved, but your negative mood certainly put a damper on things. And Taehyung really didn’t do anything wrong either. Maybe you’ve been treating him harshly for no reason. He acts the same around everyone, you’re the only one who takes it personally. Maybe you owe him an apology.

“Hey,” You start softly, stepping out of the steamy bathroom fully clothed and ready for bed. “Are you okay with me not wearing a bra? I don’t want you to be uncomfortable or anything.” You weren’t really asking him because even if he said “no” you still wouldn’t sleep with a bra on, but you just wanted to be courteous. He seems surprised by your sudden consideration of his comfort level.

“Oh. Um, y-yeah that’s fine.” His brows shoot up behind his bangs when he looks at you, clearly struggling to keep his eyes on your face. You sport a loose t-shirt and a small pair of shorts, short enough to hide under the hem of your shirt and show off the curve of your ass. You weren’t expecting to room with him, or any of the other guys for that matter, so you weren’t very mindful when packing your sleepwear.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” You hide a smirk behind an inquisitive purse of your lips.

“Yes, what you wear does not matter to me.” He stresses with a straight face, but you see through it.

“Yeah? Cuz your thin shorts say otherwise.” His hands immediately shoot to his crotch, hiding the snake in his pants that only seems to grow the longer you’re in front of him. You would find it flattering if you didn’t find him completely repulsive.

“I think you know by now that it doesn’t take much for me to get hard. It’ll go away in a minute.” He doesn’t look the slightest bit embarrassed when you climb into bed beside him, using the mountains of pillows provided to build a fort down the center of the bed to clarify your individual sides. “Wow, you have zero trust in me.” He laughs. But his laugh dies down you you look up at him seriously, probably anticipating you to throw a snarky, kinda offensive comment his way.

“I owe you an apology.”

“...For what?” He looks very confused and startled, not at all expecting those words to come out of your mouth.

“For being such a bitch to you. Not just today, but basically every day since we met.” You feel like you should go on, but you don’t know what else to say. “You’re a prick but you’re not as terrible as I make you out to be.”

“Thanks, I guess.” Taehyung doesn’t seem convinced, waiting for you to do or say something mean, but your words end there. “Is that it?”

“Yes, that’s it. Were you expecting me to write a whole essay on how badly I treat and misjudge you?” He’s taken aback, but not shocked by the edge in your voice. “Zoe said she wants me to try to get along with you, so I’m trying. Earlier you asked me for a truce over the weekend and I didn’t say anything. Well, this is me formally telling you that I accept; I will attempt to tolerate you and hold my tongue as much as I can for the sake of the others.”

“How do I know you’re being serious right now?”

“I wouldn’t say it if I wasn’t serious. I don’t talk out of my ass like you tend to do; if I said it, I meant it.” You reel yourself back in when you hear how harsh you sound. “Sorry.” Did you always sound like this when you spoke to him? It’s like you’re a completely different person.

“Hmm,” He considers, eyeing you up and down. “Yeah, okay. But in order for this to work, you actually have to be nice to me for once. Do you think you’re capable of that?”

Biting your tongue, you force yourself not to roll your eyes. “I said I’ll try.”

“Good enough!” The boxy smile that crosses his lips is absolutely adorable, but you push that thought aside as soon as it enters your mind to avoid cooing at him. “Well, if you’re trying to be nicer, I guess I’ll try not to tease you so much. Usually I just do it because it’s fun, but sometimes I do feel bad about irritating you so much. You’re just so easy to pick on.”

“You have a conscience? Who would’ve thought.” You giggle, pushing pastel hair out of your eyes, and he stares at you wide eyed until you stop laughing. “I get it, I’m not funny.”

“No, no, it’s not that.” He quickly says, raising a hand defensively. “I’ve just never seen you giggle... at me before.”

“Because you’re not funny.”

“Others would beg to differ.”

“Like who?”

“Jimin. Jungkook. Jin.” He lists off a few others from school, names that you’d rather forget, and you stop him after a short while.

“Okay, I get it. But they don’t count, they’ll laugh at anything.” You lean against one of the pillows between you two, elbow supporting your weight as you move a little closer to him. His phone is forgotten now, cast aside now that your full attention is on him.

“Do you remember that one time me and Jin did that comedy skit in the talent show last year?” He’s already laughing at the memory, the melodious sound bringing a smile to your face when you think back to that cringeworthy performance. “Everyone thought we were funny then.”

“Yeah, because you’re both wannabe actors and failed comedians.”

“I wouldn’t say we failed. Doesn’t matter how terrible we were�� got everyone to laugh didn’t we?” He has a point, one that you can only shake your head to in disbelief. This is weird— having a conversation with him that doesn’t involve yelling, arguing, or personal insults. You could even say that you sound like friends reminiscing about the past. The conversation continues on like this, bringing up the few good memories you’ve made that involve him, which, as it turns out, aren’t as few as you thought, and you begin to realize that you don’t hate him. It feels like you’re getting to know each other for the first time, you’re learning things about him that you hadn’t picked up even in the 4 years of knowing him. But he seems to know a lot about you. Now you truly feel like a terrible friend.

“It’s getting late.” You say with a yawn, checking your phone lazily from its spot on the charger. You’ve been talking to him for over an hour already.

“Yeah, we should probably go to sleep.” Tae says, voice even deeper than normal. The bass sends chills up your spine and you tell yourself it’s because you can feel the vibrations through the air and mattress. “Wait, I have something to give you.”

“What is it?” You look at him skeptically as he hops off the bed and rummages through his bag. You can’t imagine what it would be, but there’s a pit of anxiety in your stomach. It could be anything.

“These. I felt bad about earlier.” He sheepishly scratches the back of his neck as he returns to his side of the bed after handing you the snack you wanted during the movie. It’s a small bag, one meant for a single person and not a whole house of people like the one left out on the coffee table for the group, and you take it gingerly, almost too shy to thank him. The fact that he thought of you enough to get another bag for you blew your mind, especially since he didn’t know that you were going to apologize to him tonight. You could have kept acting like a complete asshole to him and he probably would have still felt bad and gave them to you. You most likely wouldn’t have done the same for him if the roles were switched. God, how shallow are you? Maybe there’s a reason people actually choose to be his friend.

“You didn’t have to.” You place them on the bedside table next to you, for a later time, and he acknowledges this.

“Yeah, but that was a dick move on my part and I wanted to make up for it. If you don’t want them, I’ll gladly eat them in front of you again.” His signature grin plasters itself to his face once more and you feel a little more comfortable now that he isn’t being genuine anymore. That’s uncharted territory between the two of you and you’re still a bit rocky with the friendly exchanges. But you’ll get there. For now, though, you roll your eyes at him and turn out the light, sinking into the cozy mattress and high thread count sheets.

Waking up next to Taehyung wasn’t as bad as you thought it would be. The sun is barely up, not yet above the trees but high enough to brighten the sky, and the wide-set windows let in as much light as possible. It wakes you and brings your attention to the glowing man next to you, all messy hair and wrapped around most of your pillow fort, but you aren’t filled with resentment at the sight of him. You find it kind of cute actually. You’ve never seen him asleep before— he looks so peaceful— and you don’t want to disturb that peace, so you crawl out of bed slowly and silently, pull on some real clothes and make your way out of the house.

The lake is absolutely stunning. The water reflects every ray of light present to give off a shimmering, glittery effect that nothing else could replicate. You sit at the edge of the water on a lawn chair you pulled over from the patio, back facing the lake house as you look off into the distance, recreating the image of the landscape across from you in your notebook with a steady hand. You wish you had brought your paints with you and an easel, the colors that seep into the sky over the trees is absolutely indescribable and you want nothing more than to capture it with your own hands on paper. You don’t even have your colored pencils, so you are left with a black and white rendition of the scene, your imagination, and a reference picture for later.

The nature is perfect for your creative mind, you’ve never felt more inspired in your life. When you first woke up, you tried your hardest to fall asleep, but after one glance out of the window, your mind started buzzing with inspiration to make art and you could no longer rest, that’s how you ended up out here, fighting tiredness to be present in the moment and capture it forever. Being out here alone doesn’t feel dangerous, Yoongi was awake and in the kitchen when you were leaving and you told him where you would be in case anything happened. You wanted to ask if he slept well or if he even needed to sleep at all, but you weren’t sure how he would react to your questioning and it seemed rude so you kept your mouth shut. Out here in the partial darkness, you feel totally comfortable and at peace. It’s silent aside from the leaves and wildlife shifting around you, birds chirping their morning song, and it’s such a nice soundtrack that you don’t even need the music in your headphones to focus on your art.

On the other hand, though, now you are alone with your thoughts and the guilt that’s been building ever since your self revelation last night. Talking to Taehyung really made you realize something: that you are probably the most stubborn person you’ve ever met. You’ve carried your first impression of him throughout your entire friendship— if you can even call it that— and no matter how much he’s shown you that he isn’t the person you made him out to be, you refused to believe it and give him a chance. You told Sooyun that the reason you didn’t like Tae was because you didn’t understand him, but now you see that it was because you never attempted to understand him in the first place. You gave Jimin a chance, after hearing about his hardships, but you weren’t willing to do the same for Taehyung. You knew nothing about him. And you ignored every good thing he’s ever done and instead highlighted all of his stupid decisions that any other teenage boy would make.

Sitting here alone, you decide this is the perfect time to continue your introspection and self evaluation. Most things that you’ve experienced negatively are a consequence of your own actions. Taehyung is always a boisterous, playful soul, even when you aren’t around, and you used to think that the reason why you didn’t get along was because your personalities were incompatible. But you’re starting to notice that it was your own attitude toward him that made you think that way. You saw him in your first year in high school goofing off during P.E. and assumed that he was always like this, which is not entirely untrue. Then he made one somewhat offensive comment and that set the tone for how you would see him up until this point.

“Why do you always stand off to the side and just watch? I think the game would be much more fun if you actually participated in it.” He said this with a goofy smile directed at you, who was placed firmly at the sidelines and quite content with your lack of involvement. In hindsight, he wasn’t even trying to be mean, it was an honest observation, but you took it the wrong way. He was probably trying to nicely convince you to join the action, yet your previous assumptions about him caused you to take offense to everything that came out of his mouth, and your spectators didn’t make it any better.

Everyone around you chuckled at his little comment, adding in their own judgements of you, like how you’re just the weird girl who likes to draw people or how you rarely even spoke so he shouldn’t expect you to willingly physically play with others, and those comments hurt. Not that you cared about what anyone thought of you anyway, that’s why you continue to be the way you are, but the fact that all eyes were on you, that everyone noticed you and thought negatively of your character, was like a stab in the heart. You had never done anything wrong to any of them, yet that’s how they felt about you.

“Yeah? Well at least I’m not a ball hog. Maybe you should let other players have a chance to score, you’re not even that good. And I’m seeing that off the bench.” Your sassy remark earns a collective “ooooh” from the teens who have since stopped the game. Taehyung didn’t seem fazed though.

“Says the person who has yet to step foot on the court. Maybe we would be able to score more points if all of the players on our team were actually present.” You flip him off and the gym teacher sees, breaking the two of you up before you cause any more of a disturbance than you already have. Up until this point, the people in your class hadn’t even heard you speak before, but this one altercation earned you a reputation of being the weird art kid with a bad attitude, and people steered clear of you. And you blamed it all on Tae, even if it was buried in your subconscious mind. 

What you didn’t know was that behind the scenes he defended you when others would talk behind your back. He always invited you to play or picked you to be on his team and you just assumed it was because he wanted you nearby so he could pick on you, but it never once crossed your mind that he actually wanted to befriend you. Even when you did become friends, you always thought he had the worst intentions in mind whenever he interacted with you. In reality, you’re always the one that starts arguments, he’s just returning your energy. His own actions, however, show a different side of him that you forced yourself to ignore. Taehyung always made sure that you weren’t being left out and that you were comfortable, even when you cursed at him and told him to go away or leave you alone. It was always him that looked out for you.

“You’re up early.” A deep voice sounds behind you among the rustling summer leaves and you turn to face a sleepy looking Taehyung, who drags another lawn chair behind him as he walks. His hair is messy and there are bags under his eyes, but the light hits him in a way that makes him look almost angelic. You shake that thought away almost immediately.

“So are you.”

“The sun woke me up. And then I realized you weren’t in bed anymore, so I got up and went looking for you. Yoongi told me you were out here.” He sits a respectable distance away from you, far enough where you won’t complain, and he gazes out at the scenery you’re more than halfway done sketching. You sit in silence for a while, surprised that he even has the capability to be quiet for longer than a minute, and you watch the sun rise together. “What are you doing out here so early?”

“Drawing.” You lift your notebook up slightly and he acknowledges with a nod, although it was pretty obvious. “And thinking.”

“You’re drawing the sunrise? But you only have a pencil.” He points out, leaning over the side of his chair to see your artwork better. You shift it away from his line of sight out of habit, but correct yourself quickly.

“I’ll draw the shadows and outlines here and color it once I get back home.” By the short answers you give him, he can tell you’re not in a talking mood, but he’s never deterred by something like that so he keeps questioning.

“Hm. What were you thinking about? You seem rather... pensive.”

“Do you even know what that word means?” You snort, looking at him for the first time since he sat down.

“In fact, I do. I heard it in a movie once and used context clues to figure it out.” He seems proud of himself so you humor him. “So, what’s on your mind?”

“I was thinking about you.” Your eyes meet for a moment before you turn away, but it’s enough to see the shock on his face.

“Me?”

“Well, kinda. I realized something last night— that I’m a judgy, stuck-up bitch when it comes to you and I severely underestimated your character.” Running a hand through your pastel hair, you sigh, looking over the water. “I created this entirely different image of you in my head based on a few first impressions, and I was too stubborn to change that image after we became friends. I always treated you like you were some inconsiderate fool that did whatever, whenever, and didn’t give a damn about anyone else-“

“Gee, thanks.”

“-But now I realize that I had absolutely no evidence that you were that type of person and that I just pretended you were an like that to justify being rude to you. Which makes me the monster.” Bringing your eyes back down to your paper, you try to distract yourself by finishing your piece, but you feel lost. “It’s gotten to the point where I don’t even know how to talk to you anymore without being mean.”

“You’re not a monster.” Taehyung’s voice is gentle now, though still deeper than usual, and it sends shivers up your spine. “I totally get that you don’t really like me, not everyone does. It’s my fault for always bothering you,”

“No, you’re not supposed to be the one apologizing. You’re playful and you make an effort to have fun with me like you do with everyone else, I’m the one that always took it too seriously.”

“Faye, it’s fine. Really. You don’t have to explain yourself to me.”

“Yes, I do, Tae. I’m sorry for being a horrible friend.”

“You really don’t need to apologize.”

“Okay, but I’m still sorry that I treated you like that.”

“It doesn’t matter, stop apologizing.”

“It does matter, I’m a terrible person.”

“You’re not! You are literally one of the nicest people I have met.”

“Except for the fact that I’m terrible to you.”

“You meant well.”

“I really didn’t. I actually hated you for the longest time. I’m so sorry.”

“Stop saying you’re sorry!”

“I’m sorry!”

“Stop!”

“No! Just let me feel bad about myself for once and accept that I’m the bad guy!” Both of you are silent for a minute, frowning at each other. “See, I can’t even apologize properly without arguing with you.” You bring a palm to your face tiredly, frustrated with yourself.

“I’ll accept your apology if that’s what you need to hear. But I honestly don’t think you did anything wrong. Sure, we might bicker like a married couple, but we’re still close, and that’s what I value the most.” He resolves and you both stare back out into the calm water until you speak up again.

“...Did you just compare us to a married couple?” In the brightening daylight, you can see the faint traces of a blush crawl onto his cheeks, his eyes widening slightly paired with a boxy smile.

“You know what I mean. I didn’t want to say we are like preschoolers because I thought that was a little offensive.”

“I’m more offended by the married couple analogy and its implications. I’d rather be a toddler.” You joke. Something weird crosses Taehyung’s face for a split second, but before you can address it, it’s gone.

“So are we good now?” He asks, sighing in his seat. You close your notebook, making a move to stand and turn to the lake house.

“I don’t know. That’s up to you.” He looks up at you before standing as well, folding his chair.

“Yeah, I think we’re okay- as long as you don’t try to apologize again.” He’s grinning now, looking a little more awake than before, and you try not to stare into his glowing eyes. What has gotten into you? You nod in agreement.

“Let’s head inside, it looks like some of the others are up for breakfast.” A large window leading into the dining room is in full view from your spot by the lake and you can clearly see Zoe, Jin, and Hobi sitting around the table. You assume Jimin, Jungkook, and Namjoon are still asleep, where you currently long to be, and make a decision as you walk back up to the house. Food or sleep? You choose the latter and head back up to your room to catch a few more winks of sleep, requesting to Yoongi that he save you a plate. Taehyung takes a seat at the table.

“Morning.” He greets, resting his head on the table once Yoongi informs him that breakfast is almost ready.

“Spending some extra time with your girl, Tae? Was last night not enough?” Hoseok nudges him in the side, grinning hard at his own teasing.

“You and Faye are dating?” Yoongi comes into the room with hot plates filled with delicious food, setting them down in front of everyone.

“No. We were just talking like normal human beings. Nothing happened last night and she is not my girl.” He clarifies sternly, fearful that you might be able to hear the conversation and will come running for his throat if he even implied something like that.

“You and Faye, talking, not screaming at each other? That’s new.” Jin comments, already digging into his food. He calls Yoongi to join them at the table, patting the empty seat on the other side of him.

“Yeah, last night it looked like she was about to rip his head off.” Hobi laughs, shoveling food into his mouth like he hasn’t eaten in years.

“See, I told you being roommates would help you work out your differences.” Zoe seems proud, smiling at Taehyung like a mother would after she has just been proven right.

“First of all, that was my idea.” Jin pouts, but she just keeps eating. The smell of food must have pulled Jimin out of his slumber and lured him to the dining room because a moment later he stumbles in, eyes still half closed and face still puffy with sleep. He doesn’t even greet anyone, just sits and asks where the food is. Yoongi brings him his plate before anyone can even answer and Jimin stares a little longer than normal as the android gracefully makes his way back over to his spot across the table.

“Are you the chef or something?” He asks, confused, but nobody pays attention to him.

“So, what did you guys talk about?” Zoe pries at Taehyung, interested in how you’ve bonded.

“Wait, what’s going on?” Jimin turns to his best friend, eyeing the tired, yet happy look on his face.

“Faye and I talked last night and this morning.” He smiles.

“Talked? Not argued?”

“That’s what I said!” Jin exclaims, though he quiets down to let Tae speak.

“I think we really got a lot closer.” He explains how you apologized out of the blue last night and actually held a real conversation with him, and also how you opened up about why you always were mean to him this morning. The whole time he spoke, everyone paid close attention, astonished by how much progress the two of you made in less than 12 hours.

“Wow, I’m so proud of you guys.” Hobi claps. “When I didn’t hear you arguing last night, I assumed she either killed you, or you were fucking.”

“Fucking? She would never.” Tae refutes immediately.

“But you would?” Jimin questions with a raise of his eyebrow, catching his friend off guard.

“W-What?”

“The sexual tension is there. All that anger and frustration must make for some amazing sex.” Jimin leans back in his chair, cheeks full and glowing.

“Angry sex is the best, right Jin and Zoe? Oh right, you two wouldn’t know.” Hoseok teases cruelly, both of their faces burning bright red. Just then, Namjoon and Sooyun walk down, Sooyun glancing quickly around the table before sighing in relief at a certain boy’s absence. “Right babe?”

“Huh?” Namjoon takes a seat next to his boyfriend, waiting to be filled in.

“Angry sex is the best, right?”

“Absolutely.” Namjoon winks, his dimples coming out when the others just shake their heads.

“You should try it sometime, Tae. Might clear up some of those unresolved issues between the two of you.” Jimin points his chopsticks at him and Tae looks away in embarrassment. “You can’t tell me you’ve never thought about it before.”

“Can we just- not talk about this right now.” For the first time, your group of friends see a bashful side of the infamously carefree Taehyung. Sooyun and Namjoon want to ask what’s going on, but Tae pleads to end the conversation there, so the topic changes to something else and the day moves forward.

The sun scorches down on you as you sit by the lakeside in your bikini, applying sunscreen to protect from what seems like an inevitable sunburn. The boys are already in the water, jumping from the dock into the surprisingly clean lake— one of the wonders of privately own property. Sooyun can’t swim and you don’t really feel like getting in the water just yet, so the two of you chill where it’s dry and have a little chat. You catch her up on what’s been going on between you and Tae, she was still curious from breakfast, and she applauds your maturity.

“Wow, it seems like you really had a self-growth moment. Does this mean that you and Tae are cool now?”

“I guess? It still feels weird though. I spent so much time ignoring him, you know, and now it’s hard to change my view on him so suddenly.” You’re used to listening to other people’s drama and not saying or doing much, always the spectator, but now that something is actually going on in your life, it’s a bit awkward being the center of attention.

“He seemed really happy about your bonding time this morning, I think it was really unexpected for him when you opened up like that. Usually you only really open up to me.”

“He was talking about it at breakfast?” For some reason you’re irritated by this, or embarrassed, you can’t really tell the difference anymore.

“Yeah,” She laughs when you glare at him in the water. “He didn’t say anything bad though, don’t worry. Looks like he’s been waiting for a chance to prove himself to you for a very long time.” Your eyebrows scrunch up as you think about what she could mean by that. Was he really trying that hard to be your friend and you were the only one who misinterpreted his actions? It seems like it.

“I need your opinion on something.” You start a little quieter, making sure that no one will overhear. “Why do you think he picks on me so much? I know that’s how he usually is, but he does it so much more when I’m around.” You know she’ll give you a straight answer, she never minces her words.

“I believe he originally started doing it because that’s the only way he could get you to pay any attention to him and he wanted you to notice him. If he isn’t saying or doing anything dumb, you pretend like he’s not even there. He probably just wanted to catch your eye and then build from there but you never let him, and then he eventually got used to playing that role with you.”

“Okay, so why do you think it bothers me so much?” It sounds stupid to ask someone else about how you feel about something or why you feel a certain way, but you honestly don’t know what to make of the situation.

“Simple. I think when you first met, you saw him and expected him to be someone you could befriend and trust, but he hurt your feelings one time so you just went full defensive and decided to hate everything that comes out of his pretty little mouth. I’ve seen you do it before, Faye. Remember that kid in history? The one we did the project with?”

“Ugh, her.”

“You thought she was going to be the nicest person, but when we started working with her, you realized she was-“

“A bossy, know-it-all, who had a stick up her ass 24/7 and put in minimal effort to the group project. And then had the nerve to take all the credit for it.”

“Right. Well, she didn’t live up to your expectations and now you hate her, it’s as easy as that. That’s kind of a thing you do.”

You grimace, hearing this for the first time. She’s right, you do have a history of shunning people because they weren’t as great as you expected them to be, and Taehyung is a primary case of that. “Damn, I really am terrible.” You mumble with a frown.

“No, I think that’s actually a good defense mechanism because you’re obviously better at avoiding people that might hurt you in the future. But Taehyung is good, he didn’t do anything wrong, you should take a chance on him. I can tell he means a lot to you, only people you care about have the ability to get to you like this.”

She really does know you better than you know yourself. “You’re so wise.”

She takes a sip of her cold drink, eyes following your other friends as they splash around in the water. Yoongi stands with his feet in the water, something you weren’t aware that he could do, and he seems to enjoy watching the antics of the others. Taehyung is smiling wildly as Jimin splashes him and attempts to show off his swimming skills. You catch sight of Jungkook who stands at the top of a small hill where a rope is connected to a tree over the water. He waits until Sooyun is looking before he jumps, making Tarzan noises as he swings gracefully in the air, making his landing with a big splash in the water. She giggles beside you silently, straightening her face again when he resurfaces.

“What was going on with you last night during the movie?” You bring up, suddenly reminded of her odd behavior the night before.

“What do you mean?”

“You seemed really jumpy and zoned out, like, the entire time, then you suddenly got up and went to the kitchen with Jungkook and never came back.”

“Correction, he followed me into the kitchen, we did not go ‘together’.” You roll your eyes at her.

“Whatever. I just wanna know if anything went down while you were in there. Jungkook seemed pretty flustered when he came back out.” Imitating one of Taehyung’s signature moves, you wiggle your eyebrows suggestively, laughing when she pushes your shoulder.

“Stop it! Nothing happened, we just talked a little and then I went to bed after Taehyung came in.”

“Ah, the original cock blocker.” You shake your head, not even surprised that his air-headed ass barged in and ruined a possible moment. “Are you going to tell me why you’re being so awkward with him?”

“I’m n-“

“OH! Can I guess what happened?” You seem excited so she entertains you.

“I will neither confirm nor deny anything you say.”

“I don’t care, I just think it’s fun to guess.” She sighs and you move on. “Hmm, let’s see. He forgot your birthday and now you hate him?” No... “He walked in on you naked?” No reaction. “You got drunk and played a game of strip poker and accidentally gave him a boner?”

“Oddly specific...”

“Hey, you never know,” You shrug. “It definitely has to be something sexual though, I don’t think anything else would make you this awkward around each other.” Her face remains blank. “You kissed?” Nothing. “Did you guys fuck or something?” The tiniest muscle in her bottom eyelid twitches and you’re sharp enough to detect it, gasping loudly in shock. “That’s it, isn’t it?”

“I will neither confirm nor deny.” She repeats in a steady voice, but you can feel the heat coming off of her face from here.

“I know you better than that, you don’t have to say anything. Whatever it is, I won’t judge you, but I can see there’s something going on between you two. We don’t have to talk about it, I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable, I’ll just take satisfaction in the fact that I figured it out before anybody else.” The pleased smile on your face let’s her know that she can’t even try to convince you that you’re wrong. You’re smarter than that and she might end up digging a hole for herself if she says anything further, so she just sighs deeply and looks off into the water. Her and Jungkook would definitely make a cute couple.

“I think Taehyung is calling you.” She elbows your arm, pointing at said man emerging from the water, hair dripping and feet slapping the cool ground with every approaching step. He comes to stand right in front of you and you feel it’s a compromising position— with your face eye level with his dick and all— so you lift your foot and push him away with a gentle heel to the gut.

“You’re dripping on me.” You complain when he shakes his hair like a wet dog. “What do you want?”

“Come swim for a little while, the water is perfect.” You look over at Sooyun, who pretends like she’s not paying attention to your conversation, but you can see her eyes are alight with interest. “Don’t look at her, she can’t save you from this one.” He grins when your eyes snap back to him.

“I don’t want to get in the water today, I’m perfectly fine here in the shade.”

“If you don’t do something, I’m going to pick you up and throw you off the dock.”

“Only if you want to die tonight,” You threaten.

“Come on, please?” He whines, giving you his best aegyo. You wan to vomit. “You always sit on the side and watch, I really think you’ll have more fun if you actually participate.”

“This is giving me deja vu.” You groan under your breath as he continues to pout. “Let’s make a deal. I’ll get in the lake with you if you do the rope swing.” You point to where Namjoon and Jimin are now fooling around, pushing each other to get more momentum on the swing and make a bigger splash. Jimin’s light body carries him high, it seems like he’s flying before he comes crashing down over the water. Taehyung gulps. You know he’s afraid of heights, it’s one of the only things you can tease him about, so you know it’s very likely that he won’t go through with it and you get to stay dry.

“Okay, deal.” He says before he can talk himself out of it, holding out his hand for you to shake. Staring at him skeptically, you hesitate to take his hand, allowing him to pull you to your feet and head over to the hill. He holds your hand a second longer than necessary before letting go, but of course you notice.

“Yah, Taehyungie! Are you going on the swing?” Jimin calls out to him as you approach the hill, climbing up the slope until you stand at the top. If Taehyung goes through with it, you’ll jump in from here too.

“Y-Yeah.” Tae sounds uneasy as he stands near the edge, looking down at the water below. It isn’t too high up, but it’s enough to catch some height with a swing or two, and it probably looks like you’re hanging on a ledge of a massive cliff from Taehyung’s perspective.

“You don’t have to do it,” You remind, trying to hide your cocky smirk. “It’s okay if you’re too afraid.”

“No, I can do it!” He grabs onto the rope, but makes no move closer to the edge.

“You can do it! Yell out into the distance!” Jimin encourages, laughing at the worried look on his best friend’s face as he stares down at the lake. The others gather around to watch, yelling a mixture of encouragement and teasing at him.

“He’s shaking like a leaf.” Jungkook chuckles, sitting on the edge of the dock with his phone recording it all. You stand alone up there, feeling obliged to coach him through it, but at the same time not wanting to end up in the water if he succeeds.

“It’s not that bad, Tae, just swing and let go. You just watched Jimin do it.” Your hand comes up to pat his shoulder, stopping short of his skin in hesitation. Instead, you offer to give him a push.

“N-no, I can do it.” Quivering voice and all, he grips onto the rope tighter, taking one step closer to the ledge.

You all cheer for him, holding in your chuckles at the visible shaking in his knees as he bends down in preparation to jump. And then he leaves the hill with a baby hop that makes everyone snort in laughter. You watch with wide eyes as he makes it to the top of his swing and-

“ahhHHHH!” His terror rings clear in his voice, hands refusing to let go as he misses his opportunity and comes back toward you, dangling from the rope with his eyes closed. Everyone bursts into laughter, Jimin nearly drowning as he locks up in joy, holding onto the pier for support. Tae is still swinging and screaming, waiting until the rope is barely moving anymore before finally letting go and landing in a shallower part of the lake. All he hears is Hoseok’s cackling and clapping when he resurfaces, everyone on their knees with glee, including you. Your eyes are blurry with tears of laughter, an ache in your ab muscles forming as you gasp for breath. He’s embarrassed, but seeing you laugh so hard is worth it.

“That was so wimpy,” Hoseok re-enacts his screams, causing a resurgence of laughter.

“You refused to go on the rope swing too, I don’t think you’re in any position to make fun of him.” His boyfriend points out, splashing him with water.

“Yeah, but I’m not the one who’s trying to impress the girl I like.” He sticks out his tongue, earning a deadly look from Taehyung, who glances your way to make sure you hadn’t heard. Luckily, you’re just making it over to the shore and heard nothing.

“That was adorable.” You smile, feeling victorious that your plans had succeeded. “But you did lose the bet, so I’m not going swimming.”

Pouting, Tae whines his objection. “But I put in so much effort! I don’t get anything for that?”

“Alright. I’m willing to make a compromise because you did try,” You say after a second of thinking. “I won’t go swimming, but I guess I’ll get on a canoe with you, if you really want me to.” While you were getting changed in the bathroom earlier, you heard Taehyung talking about wanting to try out the canoes. He seemed so excited to get on one, you feel like you should at least grant him one wish.

Out on the water, things are more peaceful. It takes teamwork to paddle together on the small boat, steering your way around the sizable lake, and most of your journey is spent in silence. You sit in the front, back facing him and looking over at the beautiful view of everything around you. One of the reasons you agreed to do this is because you really wanted a different perspective of this place, of the lake house, to draw in your sketchbook. You want to be able to remember how pretty this place is, how close you all are right now, these times that you won’t ever get back. From the other side of the lake, you can see all of your friends having fun for probably one of the last times all together, enjoying the beautiful weather and making the most of it, and you start to feel sentimental again.

“You look pensive again, what’s up?” Taehyung’s baritone once again saves you from your thoughts, and you resume paddling slowly, refusing to look at him with your watery eyes.

“This is one of the last times that we’ll all be together as close friends like this. After this weekend, we’ll all be packing to leave for school, each in different places, and I don’t think I’m ready for this to end yet.” The sound of your paddles gliding smoothly through the water is soothing, and you allow it to calm you down a little, composing yourself enough not to sound choked up. “I can’t help but think of all the time I wasted, all the time I spent worrying about things that are basically irrelevant now, and that’s time that I can never get back.”

“You’re a pretty deep person, aren’t you?” Taehyung asks, still getting used to you talking about real things to him. It’s not unexpected, he’s just not used to being on the receiving side of your sentiments. You place your paddle beside you when you reach the middle of the lake, turning in your seat to finally face him.

“I am. I like to pretend that I’m not, but I’m starting to realize that it’s pointless. I need to learn how to be more genuine, like you.” He blinks at this, wondering where all of this is coming from. “And thank you for always forcing me to participate. I would have missed out on a lot of things if you weren’t the one to convince me to live a little more. So thanks.”

He pauses for a long time, internalizing it all. “What’s going on with you lately? This morning you wanted to apologize and now you’re thanking me? Why do I feel like there’s some type of ulterior motive behind all this?”

“I’m trying to make amends with you,” You just barely hide the harsh tone of your words. “All of this is long overdue and I wanted to get it off my chest before the end of this weekend. Do you have a problem with that?”

Tae laughs at your temper, shaking his head and looking off into the distance. “Nope, I’m sorry. Keep going.”

“No, you ruined it, it’s over now.” You huff. And just like that, your sentimental moment is cut short.

“Like I said, you didn’t do anything wrong to me, so stop apologizing and thanking me. We’re all just trying our best here, we’re in the same boat.” A goofy smirk crosses his face. “Or should I say, same canoe.”

“God, you’re worse than Jin.” You groan. A king of lightening the mood. “Uh oh, looks like Jin and Zoe are sneaking off.” The two head over to the boathouse hand in hand, looking around suspiciously for any witnesses. You notice immediately and point them out, to which Taehyung just chuckles.

“You don’t miss much, do you?”

“Some people are just incredibly easy to read.”

“Am I easy to read?” He asks, staring straight into your soul.

Apparently not, because I was wrong about you this entire time. You think, frowning at him. When you take too long to answer, he begins rocking the boat playfully while repeating his question over and over, causing you to grab onto the sides for balance. “Taehyung, stop it before we flip over! I said I didn’t want to get wet.” He stops abruptly.

“I can make you wet in a different way if you want.” His wink is what sends you, reflexively grabbing your paddle and pretending to hit him with it.

“You’re unbearable.” But you can’t stop giggling. Or blushing. Ew.

“OH MY GOD, NO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” You hear Jungkook’s screech echo throughout the entire lake, bringing your attention to him and Sooyun backing out of the boathouse with tomato red cheeks and disgusted looks on their faces. A few moments later, Jin and Zoe follow, equally embarrassed with their heads hanging low and scowls on their lips. With that image fresh in your mind, you quickly sketch it in your notebook, creating a less detailed drawing of the lake house in just a few minutes as you float idly. Timeless memories. Tae doesn’t say anything, watching your hand work diligently at the paper with amazing accuracy, and when you’re finished, you close the book and sit it back down, looking up at him.

“We should probably head back, it’s getting hot out here.” You grab your paddle again, prompting him to turn his body the other way and begin making your way back to the dock. The attention isn’t on you when you get back, nobody is there to ask what you were talking about or make any ridiculous comments to Tae, and you’re thankful for this. You’d much rather get the tea on Jin and Zoe.

The bonfire rages in front of you, the group wrapping up the night after dinner with drinks around the fire pit. With full stomachs, all of you just sit and talk for a while, sharing laughs and stories into the night. The scent of burning wood wafts through the air and is almost enough to overpower the smell of alcohol in the cup that is handed to you.

“You’ve never been drunk before?” Jimin is relaxed in his corner of the sofa, arms spread along the top behind your shoulders. This is probably one of the first times you’ve willingly sat next to Taehyung and Jimin, sandwiching yourself between the two men to get comfortable. Taehyung was following you, who was following Jimin, who was stalking Yoongi, so the four of you found yourselves lined up on the long couch built into the fire pit area, equipped with materials for s’mores and cup holders.

“I don’t drink at all, actually.” You correct, swirling around the liquid in your glass. It looks like regular fruit juice, and you would have been fooled if you hadn’t seen Jimin spike it with vodka. “I prefer to be in control of my actions most of the time.”

“You don’t have to drink if you’re uncomfortable.” Taking a seat with her own drink in hand, Zoe gently reassures you that there is no pressure to drink tonight— everyone is just trying to have fun. Regardless of what she says, however, you’ve already decided that you want this to be your first experience with alcohol, surrounded by friends and away from anyone you might embarrass yourself in front of.

“I’m not uncomfortable.” Everyone situates themselves, music playing in the background from one of the built in patio speakers, and you feel eyes on you as you sit there, suddenly realizing that they are waiting for you to take a sip.

“I dare you to chug that whole glass.” Jimin snickers from his spot next to you, already taking swigs from his own cup. He makes eye contact with Namjoon and Hoseok, who stare at you intently. “You won’t.”

“Is that a challenge?” You pose, fire lighting up your eyes.

“Do you accept?” You’re locked in a staring contest with Jimin, his expression playful as he studies you for any signs that you’ll back out. But you stay strong.

“Hell Yeah, I do.”

“Then drink up.” He clinks glasses with you and you throw it back, opening your throat to the liquid and gulping it down as painlessly as possible. What you don’t expect is the burn, and it hurts all the way going down, stinging your throat and warming your belly as it sits heavily in your stomach. The taste is what hits you next, and your throat almost closes up when you take a breath through your nose and taste just how strong the liquor is. Your friends cheer for you as you attempt to empty the glass, eyes watering because of the burn, and when the last drop disappears into your mouth, you pull the cup away to cough and sputter.

“I gotta admit, the girl’s got heart.” Namjoon claps slowly in awe of your feat. “Me and Hoseok bet Jimin that you wouldn’t drink at all tonight, and boy were we wrong.” He digs in his pocket for cash, each of them handing the younger boy the money in disbelief.

“It hurts,” You rasp, clutching your chest. “And it tastes terrible.”

“That’s the alcohol cleansing you,” Jin raises his glass toward you over the flames. “As I always say, alcohol is the best way to disinfect yourself of a sickness.”

“I believe it; it feels like I just chugged a bottle of bleach.” Taehyung hands you a bottle of water to rinse your mouth with, trying to get rid of the rubbing alcohol aftertaste. The night moves on from here, everyone splitting off into separate conversations, and you return to your original position of sitting and silently observing. Tae hasn’t said much to you tonight, though you do notice him staring a lot. You also notice the tension building on the other couch, Zoe and Jin looking apprehensive about something and Jungkook and Sooyun awkwardly trying to talk before deciding to sneak away and go somewhere more private. You wonder if anything will happen between them while they’re away, but they still can’t look each other in the eye so it’s probably unlikely. Jin and Zoe are the next to get up and leave. The drinks keep coming and you keep drinking, even joining in on a drinking game Hoseok came up with, and soon enough your body is feeling warm and your head is light and everything seems just a little bit better.

“Are you drunk?” Taehyung asks, mood as bright as the fire that still flickers wildly in front of you.

“I don’t know, you tell me.” Everything looks slightly warped in your vision and you aren’t even sure if you’re speaking properly anymore. You aren’t blackout drunk— though slightly more than tipsy— but Taehyung keeps a watchful eye on you because you’re starting to act a little funny. Your entire face is flushed up to your ears, eyes droopy and dazed expression plastered to your cheeks. This is exactly why you don’t drink. You hate looking sloppy and acting out of character, but with Taehyung looking so amused by your easy-going side and Jimin’s arm still wrapped around your shoulders, you don’t care about being judged. The dizziness doesn’t get better with your subsequent sips and you find yourself leaning to the side, resting your head on Taehyung’s broad shoulder. Jimin removes his arm when he sees you snuggling up to him, trying his absolute best not to bring attention to it in case you come to your senses and try to fix yourself.

“Yeah, you’re definitely drunk.” Tae’s deep voice murmurs, sounding far away. All you can do is groan. “I think you’re done for tonight, I’ll go get you some more water. Jimin, do you need anything?” His friend shakes his head, turning his attention back to the android beside him, who is in the middle of telling a story you assume, and then Tae is up and walking back into the house. You frown, instead moving to lay your head on one of Jimin’s thick thighs.

As soon as Yoongi finishes telling his story, you look up to both of them and smile. “What are you smiling at?” Jimin returns your grin, eyes equally as heavy and cheeks shiny and flushed. Even though you are drunk, you can tell that he is too.

“None of your business, thickums.” Nice to see you still have your quick tongue even in your current state.

“I saw you getting cozy with Taehyung just now. I thought he said you weren’t a couple?” Yoongi’s face is upside down and curious when you look up at it from your position on Jimin’s lap, craning your head back to get a view of him, and the odd sight makes you giggle like a little girl.

“We aren’t.”

“Oh. It just seemed like you were.” He processes this for a moment before nodding.

“You’re very handsome, Yoongi, you know that?” You blurt, catching him a little off guard. You’re sure that if he could blush, he would. “It’s no wonder Jimin’s been following you around and flirting this whole time.”

“No I haven’t!” He protests loudly, glancing over at the android, who still wears a blank expression. “I just think Yoongi is interesting and I want to get to know him.”

“Yeah right, pig.” You snort, trying to hold in your laughter.

“Pig? But he’s a human. Or is that another figure of speech?”

“Nope, he’s a pig in disguise, don’t trust him.” The android seems confused by your words, but picks up on your laughing and tone of voice, eventually laughing along. You are amazed both by his ability to pick up on social queues and learn quickly and by the fact that Jimin still hasn’t realized that he isn’t a human. You could tell him the truth about Yoongi, but that would ruin the fun.

“Anyway,” Jimin chuckles nervously, trying to change the subject back to you. “You and Tae must be getting along better, I haven’t heard you cuss each other out in a while.”

“I’ve turned a new leaf and I’m trying to be nicer to him. Apparently being nice is a lot easier than acting like a jerk all the time.”

“Aw, now we can all be friends and get along again, like old times.” He pinches your cheek and your smack his hand away.

“Like old times? The only reason I was nice to him back then is because I had a crush on you, dork. Don’t you remember?” This is common knowledge, it’s a well known fact among your friends that you had a crush on him, so you aren’t embarrassed by your blabbering mouth. You are, however, shocked by his.

“Of course I remember, but what kind of person would I be if I flirted back with the girl my best friend likes?”

“What?” You sit up abruptly, almost bumping heads in your haste to return to a sitting position.

“He was crushing on you so hard back then, it was almost painful to watch. I guess you didn’t notice because you were too busy falling over me. But I can’t blame you for that.” He adds with a flirty smirk, running a hand through his hair in the way you used to love. He isn’t important right now though. All you can focus on is what he has just said to you.

“He had a crush on me? Past tense?” You want to clarify this before you go jumping to conclusions like a lunatic.

“Past, present, and future. Don’t tell me you haven’t seen the way he’s been looking at you this entire time— you of all people, who possesses all-seeing eyes and notices practically everything.” There’s a doubtful look on his face, obviously too drunk to realize he’s just spilled one of the biggest secrets Taehyung has probably ever told him. You take into account the fact that your source is pretty intoxicated, most things that come out of his mouth will probably be unreliable, but you also know that alcohol leads to #NoFilterJimin, which means that what he’s saying is most likely all true. Taehyung likes you. You open your mouth to say more, even if you haven’t thought of a question to vocalize yet, but before you can get a syllable out, a weight plops down behind you on the couch, holding out a water bottle for you to take.

“For you, m’lady.” Your hand closes around it gingerly, careful not to touch fingers with him, and he offers you a bubbly smile, your stomach doing flips. Thinking back on it— the jealousy towards barista Kai, his clinginess to you, the boner he was sporting last night— they could all be signs that he likes you. Maybe. You don’t particularly believe it, but Taehyung is a pretty good actor and you imagine it wouldn’t be hard to hide his feelings, especially since he sealed them behind the pretense of living to annoy you. And now that you realize the possibility of it, you don’t really know how to feel. Jimin offers no support, he barely knows what he’s just done, and Yoongi doesn’t know anything about your dynamic with Tae apart from what he’s seen in the past two days, so you’re on your own now, with Sooyun and Zoe nowhere in sight, most likely sorting out their own problems, and Namjoon and Hoseok making out drunkenly on the other side of the fire.

Jimin, Taehyung, and Yoongi pick up conversation easily as if nothing happened, but you can’t bring yourself to engage. Taehyung sits just a little bit closer to you, now feeling confident enough to be clingy with you like he is with the others, but your brain is still overthinking each one of his actions to determine if you should believe it or not. If you should believe that he really has feelings for you. It’s hard for you to imagine that someone you have mistreated for so long could like you in any way, but Taehyung is a stubborn one and he’s certainly persistent. If he did feel this way, you are at least thankful that he hasn’t tried to make a move on you yet. Zoe and Sooyun return, talking about their own set of problems on the far end of the other couch, and you decide not to bother them tonight.

“I think I’m gonna head in for the night. I can feel a bad headache coming and I’d rather be in bed by the time it hits.” You feel nearly sobered by now, the bottle of water and interesting news helping to pull you back to your senses.

“You’ll probably feel a little nauseous too, try not to throw up in the house or else Jin’s mom will kill you.” Jimin jokes, and you let out a fake laugh.

The man beside you seems a bit suspicious by your shift in mood— just a few minutes ago you were feeling fine, but he can’t quite put his finger on it. The guys let you leave, Tae offering to help you get to the room if you’re too drunk, but you assure him that you’re fine and leave alone. He watches you until you disappear into the house, eyes staring longingly in your direction. A heavy sinking feeling digs into his chest, sensing that something is wrong, and although he knows he didn’t do anything, it still feels like it’s his fault. Personally, he was looking to spend a few more hours with you like this, having fun and completely laid back, not yelling at him or apologizing about anything, just hanging out like real friends. The spot where your head was resting on his shoulder and chest feels empty without you and he regrets running away, wishing he would have stayed like that for a few more minutes, but he was surprised and didn’t know what to do about you touching him, so he had to remove himself from the situation. He even gave himself a little pep talk in the kitchen in preparation to deal with your snuggly drunk persona, but now the opportunity is long gone and he fears it might be gone forever.

Sleep finds you easily tonight, but your worries follow you into slumber, dreams plagued by a plot line that makes you toss and turn. In your dream, you are still drunk, but Taehyung takes care of you like a loving boyfriend would. He brings you water and snacks, helps you walk around and holds you by the hips to keep you steady, and even sits with you in the bathroom while you vomit your guts out, wiping your mouth and forehead and holding back your hair. At one point, you and him leave the lake house, walking all the way to a nearby town and ending up in a high school gymnasium where you pin him to the wall and demand that he take you right there on the bleachers. When you go to kiss him, he stops you and reveals that he put poison in all of your drinks tonight and you collapse to the floor, coughing and trying to force yourself to throw it all up. You wake up dry heaving, tumbling out of bed and into the bathroom where you empty your stomach into the toilet loudly and attempt to catch your breath. It’s the middle of the night now, so Taehyung is in bed already, and he gets up to check if you’re okay, only to be sent away from the door when he offers his help. When you emerge after a few long minutes, you find a cold glass of water on your bedside table and a sleepy boy on the other side of the pillow fort.

“Can you stop bringing it up please?” Zoe groans from her spot at the picnic table, looking like she just wants to curl up underneath it.

“There’s nothing to be ashamed of, babe, own it.” Jin states proudly, shoulders looking extra high this afternoon. Today is your last full day at the lake house, a gorgeous Sunday afternoon, and just as planned, you’ve set up a picnic outside by the lakeside. All day Hoseok and Namjoon have been teasing Jin and Zoe about their morning exploits, which they could hear from the other side of these thin walls. Seems like they finally found the time to consummate their relationship and get the deed done. They both seem satisfied and happy, but you’re starting to feel embarrassed for them with all the teasing.

“Okay everyone, stop targeting them, let them be happy for once.” You announce, tired of hearing about it while you’re eating. Zoe gives you a grateful look. Despite sporting a hangover, you find yourself in a pleasant mood for the most part. Last night is a little fuzzy, though not totally forgotten, but you have no negative feelings about what happened. That was a really weird dream though. There is one person that doesn’t seem to be as high spirited as usual today, however. He sits there quietly picking at his food looking quite thoughtful, if that was possible.

“What’s wrong, Tae? Hungover?” Jimin pats him on the back and this startles him. Shaking his head lightly, the taller man clears his throat, glancing at you before lowering his gaze back to his food shyly. “Did something happen?”

It’s almost funny how Jimin doesn’t realize that he was the one who caused all of this by sharing a secret to the wrong person. You hoped Taehyung wouldn’t catch on to how distant you were being this morning, keeping away from him conveniently so you could have more time to interpret your dream and dispel the awkwardness of knowing he saw you vomiting late last night, but it appears that he did notice and was taking it the wrong way. You aren’t upset with him— he wasn’t the one who did anything wrong— you just don’t know how to feel about him now. Your own feelings are jumbled up in your head and you don’t know how to sort them or even how to describe what they are. For some reason, finding out Taehyung likes you isn’t as revolting as you thought, and you’re starting to notice the little twinge you get in your heart whenever he looks at you. Do you like him? It’s starting to get ridiculous how much you’ve discovered about yourself in just one weekend. And there’s that feeling again.

You catch him staring at you, studying your body language to see if he can figure out what’s different. The weird feeling comes back the longer you look at each other, so you open your mouth to dispel the tension. “Is there something on my face or something?” Dammit, you didn’t mean for it to come out like that, and now everyone is looking at you in disappointment.

“No.” Taehyung drops his head again, and you turn to the girl beside you to find her glaring at you heatedly. Sooyun speaks with her eyes, expressing how she’s disappointed in you because she thought you were making progress- they all did. And now you have to apologize.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to say it like that.” You reply meekly, not even looking at him.

“I told you to stop apologizing to me.” He mumbles, and you roll your eyes. Your friends look between the two of you, unable to figure out what exactly is happening right now. Were you upset? Was he upset? Should they be worried?

“Did something bad happen last night? You two were doing so well yesterday.” Zoe asks in a hurt voice, almost as if the turbulence between you is her own fault and failure. Taehyung lets you answer because, frankly, he’s wondering the same thing.

“Nothing bad happened, everything is fine.” You don’t sound the least bit convincing and even you cringe when you hear yourself.

“Doesn’t seem like it.” Zoe crosses her arms over her chest, pursing her lips in that motherly way that forces you to talk.

“I-It’s just a little weird now because he saw me puking last night. It was kind of embarrassing.” You scratch the back of your neck when you feel it prickle with color, probably because of the partial lie you’ve just told.

“Is that really it?” Tae doesn’t believe you. He straightens up, narrowing his eyes to catch every change in your expression.

“Yes?” The entire table bursts into complaints, calling you out on lying, saying that they can read you like an open book, some of them defending Taehyung and arguing that you owe him an explanation for your behavior. You’ve never seen them so invested in your drama, but then again, you’ve never really had any drama before. Jin stops everyone and addresses you.

“As much as I’d love for you to spill the tea to us right here, I think you and Tae need to go somewhere private and talk it out. Seriously.” With that, you’re kicked out of the table and sent away, told not to come back until you’ve worked out your issues.

“Faye,” Twigs crunch beneath your shoes as you walk along the lake near the tree line, hands crossed at your front and eyes scanning everywhere but him. When he calls your name again, you turn to look at him, feeling your heart skip a beat once more. Why does he have to look so good at a time like this— when you’re confused and conflicted, still processing everything that you’ve learned both about him and yourself in the past few days? “Are you going to say something?”

“I don’t know what to say.” At least you’re honest.

“Okay, then I’ll start.” He takes a deep breath, eyes looking up at the sky and leaves above as he speaks. “Are you upset about something that happened last night? Did I do something? Did Jimin say something to offend you?”

“I told you, I’m just embarrassed about the whole bathroom incident,” So much for honesty. But what else are you supposed to do? Rat out his best friend for having a big mouth and accidentally confessing for him?

“But you started acting weird way before that happened. It was when I left to get water while we were at the fire pit, I know it. I just don’t know why.” You stay silent, swallowing the lump of anxiety in your throat. You don’t want to tell him, but you really want to ask if what Jimin said is true.

“I... found out that you possibly have a crush on me.” You admit slowly, looking up at his face. It contorts into confusion, then slight realization, then a mixture of humiliation and... relief? So many emotions flash across his face that you can barely keep up.

“How did you ‘find out?’” He’s stopped walking by now.

“That doesn’t matter. Is it true?” You must look somewhere between desperate and hopeful because Taehyung pauses for what seems like an eternity before bursting into laughter.

“Are you kidding?” Usually his laugh can lighten a mood, but all it does is make you more tense.

“I’m completely serious right now.”

“So am I.” The wind blows between your bodies, sounding almost deafening in the silence. “Of course I have a crush on you, how could I not? You’re everything I want in a girl from looks to charm and attitude, and no matter what you do, that’s not going to change.”

“Oh.” For one of the first times ever, Taehyung has made you speechless. There is no witty comeback or confident response to counter his attack and you truly stand at a loss for words.

“I never tried to confess to you because it was pretty clear that you didn’t even like me as a friend that much, so I spent most of my energy just trying to get you to pay attention to me in any way I could. In hindsight, I probably didn’t choose the best method.”

“So you did all that just to get my attention?”

“Well, yeah. You wouldn’t even look at me if I didn’t.” Sooyun was right, and so were all the movies. Boys really do do stupid things when they like someone. “So?”

“So, what?”

“So, how do you feel about all of this? I just admitted my feelings to you, the least you can do is give me a reaction.” His eyebrows are furrowed intensely, worry floating around the irises of his eyes. Any trace of confidence he once had has disappeared and all that’s left is anxiety that eats him from the inside.

“I don’t know how I feel. I don’t usually do this.”

“Do what?”

“Talk about... feelings.” Judging by the way you still hold a mostly neutral face, he can tell that deep down you do know. And considering how you haven’t run away in completely and utter disdain, disgust, and repulsion, he assumes that he still has a chance. “Tae, this is a lot. We only just became close yesterday.”

“But we’ve known each other way longer than that. Be honest with me, I can handle if you tell me you don’t feel the same, but I need to know.”

“I...” Fuck, why can’t you reject him? You’re immune to puppy eyes and pouting, there’s no way he could guilt you into anything this time, but you’re starting to think that you really don’t want to reject him. It’s only now that you realize how fast your heart is beating, practically leaping out of your chest in a way that’s uncharacteristic for you.

“Do you need convincing?” It sounds like a genuine question from him, but his eyes are locked on to your lips with a thirst that makes your insides quiver. You think back to the dream you had last night and how realistic your need to kiss him felt, and how badly you want to experience his kiss in real life.

“Convincing?”

“Just a little something to make your decision a little easier.” He doesn’t even realize he’s leaning in to you, tongue peeking out to wet his lips in anticipation, and you find yourself unconsciously following his lead. You should push him away now, tell him no and reject him like he’s expecting you to before this goes too far. Deep down, however, you know you can’t do that because you can feel those butterflies in your stomach the closer he gets. He stops a hair away from your lips, eyes looking down at you for confirmation— he wants you to give him a definite answer and you know he probably won’t move until he gets that from you, so you do the only thing you know will show your certainty, and dive in and kiss him.

Even though you’re the one that kissed him first, you still hesitate against his lips when he responds, but wow this feels good. It feels better than good. It feels like you’re finally doing the one thing you never knew you needed and now that it’s happening, you are filled with an inconceivable amount of gratification. His lips melt into yours, moving at the perfect rhythm and keeping you engaged, one of his hands creeping up to hold gently onto the back your neck. He’s a much better kisser than you expected— not that you’ve thought about it before— and it’s almost hard for you to pull yourself away when you feel it getting a little too heated.

“Did that help at all?” He asks with a sly grin when your eyes remain closed. They snap open, realizing that this is real life this time and not a dream, and a panic creeps up into your chest.

“No.” You’re sure he can see how heavy your breathing is, trying your best to convince yourself not to run away from him. But you do anyway. “I need- um, c-can you give me some time to think about it?”

“Oh, uh, sure.” You don’t wait up for him, giving a few nervous glances before starting off in the direction of the lake house. He doesn’t follow immediately, standing there scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. No matter what you say, you’re still the one that kissed him and he takes solace in that. Even if you don’t have the guts to face it, he now knows that you’re attracted to him in some way, and if you don’t talk ever again after this he’s fine with having kissed you at least once.

When you get back to the picnic, you don’t have an appetite anymore, so you make up an excuse and head into the woods somewhere for some privacy. You bring your sketchbook, yet you don’t draw and instead sit alone with your thoughts just staring off into space. You return about 15 minutes later feeling a little less confused, but you steer clear of Taehyung and Jimin, not wanting to talk to either of them just yet because you know Jimin will ask a million questions. Sooyun leaves you alone too, offering you the same courtesy you gave her when you didn’t force her to talk about Jungkook. This weekend has been full of uncharacteristic behavior for you but it seems like you’ve finally come to your senses and reverted back to normal. The rest of the day is spent silently observing everyone and not really engaging in anything. A few people go swimming in the lake again, but this time you decide to stay inside and watch a bit of tv to take your mind off things. Plus, you were tired of getting bug bites out by the water.

In the middle of your period of solitude, while mindlessly watching reruns of Family Feud, you come across a problem that presents itself as an eight legged creature that crawls in front of you on the coffee table, right next to your can of soda. It’s so big that you can see almost every detail of its body from where you sit on the sofa, and the scream you let out shakes the whole house. But there’s no one there to hear it. So now you’re standing on the expensive piece of furniture, yelling your lungs out while trying to get your brain to function again in order to figure out what to do. Obviously, you need to kill it. But you’re too afraid to get anywhere near that thing— let alone put your hand down there— so that’s out of the question. Your nerve completely dissolves when it starts crawling again, this time towards you, prompting you to jump off the couch and hide all the way across the room on shaky limbs. Then the solution enters.

Just then, Taehyung steps through the front door, brows knit in concern from hearing your screams. “Faye?” Despite your better judgement, you rush over to him and pull him deeper inside, clinging to his arm like he was your life line. All you can do is point to the table where the bug resides with its can of soda— there’s no way you’re going to drink out of it after this, it can have it. “Is that what all the noise is about? A spider?” He chuckles, loving the way you still hold onto him even when he steps in to get a closer look.

“Can you take care of it, please?” Almost in tears, you beg him to help, not caring about anything that’s happened before this moment. You just want it gone. And he’s the right person for the job because Taehyung has never been afraid of bugs.

He moves quickly, grabbing an empty cup and a napkin, and swiftly sweeps the spider up, walking over to the door to free it outside in the grass. It’s precious how he values life like that, although you also wouldn’t mind if he took a hammer to that thing. You thank him with red cheeks, wiping your eyes and attempting to look less like a mess. It’s quiet up until he leaves, pausing at the door after getting water from the kitchen before deciding against talking to you and leaving. You appreciate that he’s giving you space. You also appreciate how he came to your rescue even after you ran away from him earlier, that little stunt just made him a tiny bit more attractive in your eyes, much to your regret. Things seem to feel a bit lighter after that and the night ends with you making more of an effort to be casual with him.

“I call the shower,” He announces to you as you settle yourself in bed. He must be really good at acting because it appears that everything is fine to him, even though you know your indecisiveness is eating away at him on the inside. “Do you need me to check the room for spiders before I go?” He teases, eyes crinkling when you scowl at him.

“That was a moment of weakness, you can’t tease me for that.”

“I think it’s completely fair after you teased me for being scared of the rope swing yesterday.” He shuffles through his bag looking for his bathroom things, long fingers searching for the items languidly. They catch your attention, looking so long and beautiful and a sudden ache forms between you legs when you think of how they would feel deep inside you. What? Where did that come from?

“I didn’t tease you, that was Jimin and Hobi. All I did was laugh.” Your eyes follow his arms as they close his bag, a hint of a muscle peeking out under his sleeve when he lifts it to move it out of the way. And then the shirt comes off.

“Same thing.” Your mouth goes dry when you see his bare torso again, something feeling different about it from when you saw it yesterday at the lake when you were with the others. “I won’t tell anyone else about it, but if you ever see another bug while we’re here, you know who to call.” He winks, sending your stomach fluttering.

“My hero.” You disguise the heat pooling in your stomach with sarcasm, focusing hard on not letting your eyes linger on his bare skin. At the same time, Taehyung peers at you in the same way, neither of you looking at the other’s face as you lose track of what you were even talking about. If he had been looking, he probably would have seen the lust and longing in your stare. He clears his throat before you can work up the nerve to address the elephant in the room and enters the bathroom without another word, escaping the heat that engulfs the room slowly.

That kiss earlier had a bigger effect on you than you had originally anticipated. Just the sight of him shirtless is now enough to short circuit the rational part of your brain and you finally come to terms with the fact that there’s something here. You feel something towards him— something that isn’t annoyance or hate, but more like lust and deep emotion. Sooyun was right, you care about him more than you let on, and you now acknowledge that you’ve been in denial. As soon as you push through that denial, though, you feel an intense need for him to be close to you. It felt so good standing close and kissing him, it sent tingles down your body and to your core that you’ve never experienced before. And now that you know how stupid you’ve been, the sexual tension within you has reached its boiling point. You need to come clean to him.

As soon as he walks out of the steamy bathroom, he finds you staring at the door, pillow barrier now disassembled in the middle of the bed where you crawl over to the edge to sit on your knees. Your face is serious, demanding his attention because you must have something important to say. He drops his dirty clothes on his bag, turning his body and full attention to you.

“Taehyung,”

“Faye.”

“I’ve thought about what you said all day today and I know where I stand now.” Your fingers fumble in your lap but the nervousness doesn’t reach your face. “I maybe... possibly...” His eyes narrow at you and you stop yourself. “I have feelings for you. And even though you’re still an idiot and this realization is distressing for me, I have to come to terms with it.”

“That has to be the worst confession I’ve ever heard.” He chuckles, not at all taking this as seriously as you’d want him to.

“I’m not done yet.” You put up a hand, surprising him with your attitude. “I also realized that I’m horny as fuck and that this is our last night together, so I don’t want to have any regrets.”

“What are you saying?” He shifts his weight and crosses his arms, trying to control the twitch of his lips that signify his cockiness. You want to slap him.

“I’m saying that I want you to fuck me. Right now.” His sly expression no longer fazes you, his tongue poking into his cheek coyly almost as if he knows just how sexy you find it. Your thighs press together slightly at the way he eats you up with his eyes.

“One kiss got you this hot and bothered?” He attempts to dial down his amusement, but it’s radiating off of him.

“A few dirty sentences got you hard?” You counter, looking pointedly at the hand that has dropped to his crotch to palm himself over his sleep shorts. “You know, I could take care of that for you.”

“You sure you could handle it?” He smirks, stalking toward you with an ease that sets your heart racing. His nose brushes yours when he plants his hands on your bare thighs, goosebumps erupting all over from the contact. You stare intensely at each other for a few breathless seconds, testing each other for who will flinch first, eyes alight with challenge. You’ve never seen his pupils so blown, a dominance taking over them that you haven’t yet experienced, but you aren’t one to back down easily. He claims your mouth roughly, gripping your chin to tilt your head to meet him at a better angle so he can infiltrate your mouth with his tongue the moment you part your lips with his. A fire burns in your core, liquefying your insides and causing them to seep into the crotch of your panties with every movement of his tongue against yours. “Don’t start things you can’t finish, princess.”

Your teeth bite down on his bottom lip at the pet name, not hard enough to hurt but enough to send a message that he receives clearly. “Don’t.” Your shy murmur causes him to grow ten times more confident, a mischievous grin finding his lips at the way it’s affected you.

“You like that? I would’ve never guessed.” The dark chuckle that escapes him is cut off by his own lips, pressing quickly against yours before dragging down your jaw to mouth at your neck. The fluttering in your chest makes your head spin, breaths coming out as short huffs against the side of his face as he works his lips on your pulse point. Your eyes close for a split second and the next thing you know, your back is crashing down onto the mattress, Taehyung’s firm body squeezing between the gap of your thighs and large hands pressed in the sheets beside your head. The wet of his tongue slides down your collarbone, pulling gasps from you with the beautiful patterns they create, trailing all the way down to the beginning of your shirt. The garment comes off in a blur, bare chest and hard nipples now exposed to the open air and Taehyung’s awed gaze.

“Touch them, please.” Whiny and desperate, you arch your chest into him to encourage the kisses to continue, your nipples literally tingling in anticipation. He gawks at the sight, collecting your wrists in one hand to pull your arms above your head.

“Fuck,” He breathes, grinding his hips into yours and alerting you to the growing bulge pressed to your thigh. His tongue darts out to lick over a nipple, circling the bud lightly before sucking it into his mouth, and you bite down on your lips to keep your noises at bay. There’s never been a more perfect sight than witnessing Taehyung peer up at you with smoldering eyes and a boob in his mouth, nibbling on it and studying your face for reactions. Your other breast is given the same treatment, and when he pulls away, you’re left with cold, wet marks that reach from the underside of your tits to the top of your chest. “You don’t have to be quiet, you know. I don’t give a fuck who hears.”

“Neither do I.” You purse your lips at him, defying him in a way that makes him growl deep in his throat, eyebrows shooting up. He’s already established his dominance over you, with your hands immobilized above your head and all, but that doesn’t change the fact that you’re still stubborn. If he wanted you to scream, he would have to earn it.

“That’s how you want to play this? We’ll see about that.” The pressure on your wrists disappears when he reaches down to grip your hips, flipping you over like you weigh nothing and moving you to the middle of the bed. “On your knees, ass up.” His voice is thick and deep, leaving no room for negotiation as you scramble to follow his orders, limbs trembling with excitement. Your panties are absolutely soaked by now and he can tell just by running his fingers over the material that if it weren’t for them, you’d be dripping down your thighs. Your shorts and panties slide down to your knees with ease, restricting you when you try to spread your legs wider for him as he inspects you. “Look how you’ve ruined your cute bear panties,” He coos, running a finger up your slit to collect your juices. They’re the same ones he found in your suitcase on Friday. “All from a few kisses and getting you’re titties sucked. You’re a horny little one, aren’t you, princess?”

You don’t say anything— can’t— because you’re too busy holding back the moans in your throat. His smooth fingers trace your lower lips, spreading you apart so he can get a view of you in all your glory. “Mmm,” You whine lowly, curving your hips backward toward his face to get him to stop staring and do something.

“You look so good bent over like this for me. That pussy looks so sweet.” He’s watering at the mouth just looking at you, your tight hole clenching around nothing at his words. His eyes roam from your dripping essence to your throbbing clit to the roundness of your ass, all of it looking so delicious that he doesn’t know what he wants to touch more. The tips of his fingers are right there, teasing your entrance just to watch you squirm before finally pushing in, slipping two digits in easily without any discomfort. The wetness engulfs him, making lewd sounds when he moves them in and out slowly, mesmerized by the sight of you sucking him in. He dips down for a taste, licking his way upwards from your clit to where his fingers push inside you, catching everything that spills out. “You taste sweet too.” He groans.

“Faster,” You whisper, only to receive a hard slap on the ass with his free hand. You moan for the first time tonight, surprised yet still fairly quiet, your walls clamping down around the two fingers he still pumps into you.

“You’re in no position to make demands, princess. You already pissed me off, you’re lucky I’m even giving you this.” His hand comes down on the other cheek, a loud smack echoing through the room, and you bet everyone in the house could hear it. He doesn’t increase his pace, but he does go deeper, working his way into your depths with a few deep strokes before adding another finger, making your eyes roll back.

“Oh, fuck..”

“You like that, huh? What did you say to me the other night? I have alien fingers?” The edge in his voice makes him seem angry, but you can tell by the way his free hand keeps massaging your ass that he’s just turned on. “Answer me.”

“Yes,” You whimper, barely able to control your own voice with how deeply he reaches inside you.

“Bet you appreciate them now,” He goads, curling upwards intentionally at just the right spot. You buck your hips back, gasping when he does it again and lowers his mouth back to your clit, tongue flicking and swirling around the bud with skills you didn’t think he possessed. Guess all the porn he’s been watching has finally paid off. He slurps at your juices, making obscene noises that make you feel light headed, the combination of his fingers and tongue driving you to the point of madness.

Having started off on your elbows, you now lay on your chest, arms splayed out and gripping onto the sheets for mercy, teeth biting into the material as a last ditch effort to contain your noises. Moans muffle into the mattress leaving a wet spot from your saliva, and it’s all you can do not to scream out. He doesn’t deserve to hear you moan yet, you don’t want to give him the satisfaction, but your body doesn’t care about your stubborn agenda, it only cares about how good it feels to have Taehyung spread you with his gorgeous fingers in preparation for his cock that is undoubtedly straining in his shorts.

“T-Tae,” You gape, feeling your approaching high.

“I’m not gonna stop until I hear you moan for me— which means I’m not going to give you this dick as long as you decide to keep up this game of yours.” He’s stern, strict about his rules no matter how badly he wants to feel your tight pussy wrapped around him. But you’ve made him wait this long for it, what’s 5 more minutes when he’ll finally get to hear your angelic voice cry out for him? He adds a twist to his wrist, your insides quivering uncontrollably around the digits. You’ve never had fingers this long before and the sensation is heavenly, you can’t wait to feel how big his cock is. Dick jokes aside, you’ve seen his imprint on several occasions and tried not to look, but now you’ll finally get to see it uncovered and your core throbs at the thought. His tongue adds more pressure to your clit when he feels this, fingers prodding with more force and speed until you can no longer hold it in and let loose the noises that were chocked up in your chest.

“Oh my god,” You claw, voice projecting out from your diaphragm at full volume. Taehyung lets out a pleased hum on your lips and you can feel his cheeks lift into a smile. “Don’t stop, don’t stop, please!” Boiling, building heat swirls in your stomach, threatening to throw you off of your knees the closer it gets to bubbling over, but his hand is wrapped tightly around your thigh to keep you upright, digging his face in your cunt the more you try to slip away. Your wetness is dripping down his chin and wrist by now, coating everything in its path with never ending lube that sloshes around the incessant thrusting of his hand. The heat is too much, you can’t take it anymore, and with a series of high pitched moans and cries of his name, you cum, quaking and grinding into his palm with every wave that crashes through you.

“Good girl,” Taehyung praises, sounding short of breath himself. His damp lips kiss up your thighs, leaving a trail of wetness in the few places that were untouched by your juices. He retracts his fingers from you gingerly, mindful of your sensitivity, and finally lets you collapse to the bed in a heaving, boneless heap. “I knew you’d sound hot when you came, but damn,” He chuckles, relieving you of your shorts and underwear entirely, pulling off his own offending garments while he’s at it. “I almost came just listening to you. Are you going to be good from now on?”

When you turn yourself onto your side and look at him, you catch sight of his angry erection, colored red and shiny with precum and pressure. He tugs at it impatiently, eyes boring into yours just daring you to disobey him again. “Yes, Sir.” You don’t miss how his cock twitches at the name.

He’s demonstrated his patience with things like this, but you can tell it’s wearing thin as he squeezes himself at the base, a long drop of precum oozing down onto your hip. His length is the longest you’ve seen, not slacking in the thickness department either, and you just know he’s going to tear you apart— but in the best way possible. You’re wet enough to take him right now, though the stretch might be a little uncomfortable, but you’re tired of waiting to feel him.

“Sure you can take it?” He asks one more time, tapping it on your ass a few times.

“I don’t care, I want you to fuck me open either way.” At this he grins, biting his lip because he always knew you had a dirty mouth, but then he pauses. “What are you waiting for?” You ask, worry creeping up on you that for some reason he could be backing out. He shuts his eyes as if thinking hard, gears grinding like he knows he’s forgotten something, and then he opens them and looks at you in realization.

“Condom.” In your haste, you had forgotten everything you’ve leaned about safety in health class, not even thinking about protection up until now. He seems a little panicked and you assume that means he doesn’t have one, but you remember the one condom you kept “just in case” that you threw into the beside drawer without a care. Thank goodness for Yoongi. You point and Taehyung nearly lunges over you to get to it, tearing open the package faster than you can even blink and sliding it on with a deep moan. “Ready?”

“Absolutely.” With a hand on your ass to spread you open for him, Tae lines up his tip with your entrance, running it along your slit for lubrication before thrusting inside languidly. He almost goes all the way in on the first stroke, the stretch feeling better than expected as you take him in inch by inch, trying to relax your muscles to welcome his entrance. The small sounds you make every time he pushes deeper makes his head spin with a rush of adrenaline, fueling every subsequent movement until he’s as deep as he can go without forcing himself.

“God, you feel so good, princess.” He pants. It’s a snug fit, to say the least, and it takes everything in him to keep calm and give you time to adjust. “Can I move?” As soon as you nod, he retracts his hips, snapping them a bit more shallowly but enough to have you moaning out. Your sensitive walls massage him so well that it’s hard for him to even keep up a steady rhythm, let alone focus on not going too hard, but that’s not what you want.

“Taehyung,” You call, meeting his eyes. “Fuck me.”

“Yeah?” He seems strained, unsure if he should or not, but you’re well adjusted now and want nothing more than for him to let go of all restraint and pound into you.

“Yeah. I can take it, please,” You beg. A purposeful squeeze around his length is all it takes for him to give in. He growls as he repositions you back on your knees, one hand pressing down your lower back and the other sliding a fluffy pillow under your hips to keep you up.

“Just say ‘stop’ if it gets too much, okay princess?” He murmurs into your ear, leaning forward to kiss tenderly along your shoulder blades. Gripping at your waist again, he straightens up and watches his first few strokes, cock covered in your wet sheen thoroughly. Seeing this makes him snap, and suddenly you’re being catapulted face first into the bed as he pounds roughly inside of you, hands digging into your hips to keep you up.

Your moans cut through the air along with the sound of his rapid thrusting, hips meeting your ass so hard that you can feel shockwaves traveling up your spine. The pace is fast and rough, so fast that you can barely catch a breath in between thrusts— but you don’t need oxygen anymore. You only need Taehyung’s cock fucking inside of you right now, so good that you’d trade breathing for this feeling anytime.

“You’re so... fucking... tight.” He groans loudly, reaching for your hair with one hand. It pulls on your roots, forcing your head to crane back and back to arch wildly. He hits differently this way, going deeper and harder in the new angle, tip nudging at your cervix in a mixture of pain and pleasure that makes your toes curl in the sheets, wetness gushing out of you and adding to the cacophony of noises that fill the room. Rocking back towards him, you meet him thrust for thrust on your shaky legs, begging for him to pull your hair harder. “Look at you, acting like a dirty little slut for me. I would have fucked this tight pussy ages ago if I knew how freaky you were.” He grins, holding onto your makeshift ponytail harshly and riding you like the reigns on a horse. “You like it rough don’t you? Want me plow you with my big cock until you’re screaming, huh?”

“Fuck yes, give me more!” The high pitch whininess of your voice contrasts with his bass, both of you moaning in sync when he lets go of your hair and splays his hands across your back, using his weight to move faster inside of you.

“Stay still and take this cock,” He grunts when you jolt forward, caught between wanting to move away from him and rocking yourself back to feel everything he has to offer. His moans get louder and more frequent above you, his eyes squeezed shut and mouth agape as he gets lost in how high he feels while he’s inside you. Every little whimper and moan you make just edges him on and he has to slow himself down before he finishes too early. Shoving himself in deep, he grinds against you, removing his hands from your back to lean over your body. You can feel the sweat dripping off of him onto your back, your own skin feeling so hot you thought the liquid would evaporate on first contact. The reprieve from his hardcore pace doesn’t offer you any relief, his grinding allowing you to feel all the points where his skin rubs against yours, a sticky mixture of sweat and your arousal binding you together in a way that feels sinfully good. His hand slaps your ass a few times, watching it jiggle from the impact, and you tighten around him a little more each time he hits. “Your cunt is so good you almost made me cum early.” He admits, sitting back on his haunches and pulling you up by your arms.

You let out a breathless chuckle, the noise quickly replaced by a gasp when he starts pounding into you again, your head thrown back on his shoulder and one arm reaching up into his hair. His hands roam on their own accord, skimming up your front and sides to squeeze at your bouncing breasts, thumbs circling your nipples to pull drawn out moans from you. One of his hands slides a little further, teasing the skin at the base of your neck as if asking for permission, and when you moan his name, he takes that as his cue and wraps his long fingers around your throat. It’s light at first, but he slowly constricts around you, cutting off your airflow just the slightest bit, just enough to give your head a slight buzz and heighten the feeling of his touch.

“Tae, it feels so good.” You mewl, your free hand coming up to grab onto your abandoned breast as he steadily picks up pace again. Hearing him pant and grunt and groan into your ear is hotter than you could have imagined, and he’s not afraid to vocalize how amazing you feel around him. He’s louder than you at this point, still being drowned out by the sloppy sounds of your pussy and his thighs slapping together, and you almost want to silence yourself just to listen to the sounds he makes for you. He moans your name, holding you up by the throat as he once again loses himself in the rhythmic tightening of your core. You’re close, he can feel it, and he can’t think of anything he wants to feel more than you cumming while he’s deep within you.

“Play with yourself, princess. Rub that pretty clit.” He whispers into your ear, nibbling onto the lobe and kissing down your neck. As soon as your fingers touch the swollen nub, your cries get exponentially louder, curses tumbling from your lips as you chase your high. A tightness forms in your lower abdomen, coiling and winding like a spring that’s ready to snap. For the moments leading up to your orgasm, you think you stop breathing, face stuck in a silent scream from the building pleasure. “I want you to cum on my cock, baby. Cum for me now.” He demands lowly, eyes focused on the side of your face as you follow his command, spring unfurling in your core and sending you flying into ecstasy. You take in a broken gasp, eventually letting out a strangled cry of his name into the open air, walls fluttering and pulsating around his member. “Shit,”

Taehyung releases your neck, letting you fall into the mattress, your clenching walls dislodging him from your heat. But he’s quick to clamber over you, straddling your thighs and adjusting the pillow under you to lift your hips up. He spreads your ass cheeks with his palms, inserting himself back into you swiftly and starting an easy speed. His fingertips are gentle when they reach to push your hair away from your face, neck craning down to connect your lips.

“You did so well for me, princess.” His lips mumble against your own. You can feel his cock throbbing with every thrust he delivers. “I’m gonna cum so hard.” He rasps, looping his arms under your own to immobilize you, his grunts getting louder and more aggressive with the slap of his hips. You wish you could see what he looks like right now, muscles flexing and skin dewy with the sweat he’s worked up, entire body flushed with effort to bring him to his high. You offer help, grinding up against him when his pace falters a little, lacing your fingers with his own. “Keep grinding your hips on me, princess. Yeah, just like that. I love how tight you squeeze me.”

“Your cock made me feel so good, Tae.” You squeak, bending your legs to rest your heels on his ass to feel his strong muscles.

“Yeah? You want me to cum for you?” He asks, face tucked into the crook of your shoulder.

“Please,” You whine. “Give it to me.”

His hips pick up at your words, pounding you hard and fast to get him there. He locks his feet around your calves and pulls your legs straight, pushing up onto his hands to get maximum power, letting out long, drawn out moans that rumble throughout the room, shaking you to your center as you lay there and take it. “I’m gonna cum, fuck!” His breathing is loud, knuckles white as he grips onto the sheets, giving his all into the last couple of thrusts before his loudest moan yet rips through the air. Cock pushing deeply as he cums, he drops down to his elbows on top of you and continues thrusting, softer now. You let him ride out his high, loving the feeling of him throbbing against your walls, spilling into the condom while he’s inside you.

When he comes down, you let him pull out and flop down beside you, both of you too weak to move for the moment. You feel empty without him and almost want to go over and sit on his dick before it’s fully soft again, but you refrain, letting your eyes fall shut.

“How was that for you?” He questions hesitantly while pulling off the condom, barely having enough energy to walk over and throw it in the trash.

“Holy shit,” Is all you can respond and the both of you laugh.

“It was good for me too...” A silence falls over the room and you fear what comes next, hoping it won’t be awkward, but it actually feels quite comfortable. He maneuvers your bodies so that you’re up against the pillows and turns out the light, neither of you wanting to do anything other than sleep.

Ugh, Monday mornings. Well, at least you hope it’s still morning. You and Taehyung were exhausted after your night together, passing out while still naked and barely under the covers. His cuddling habit hadn’t changed last night— and you didn’t expect it to— so you wake up wrapped tightly in his embrace, arms and legs both coiled around you like some sort of snake. It’s comfortable enough that you stay there, trying to ignore the fact that you’re literally both buck ass naked and tangled together, and watch his face for a minute. Last night he absolutely destroyed you. Your back feels stiff and your throat is sore and you aren’t really sure if your legs work anymore. Considering that no one has knocked on your door yet to wake you up, you assume that your friends haven’t left without you, but it’s probably a good idea to get ready to leave anyway.

Somehow, you manage to get Taehyung up and pull him to the shower, fighting away the shyness of him seeing you naked again to wash yourself properly. He smiles to himself when he sees the marks he left on your chest, the little bites and kisses will probably be visible in any tank top you decide to wear, so he hopes you have one decent shirt to conceal your upper half. You scold him for them, smacking him on the shoulder with your soapy hand, and things seem to be normal. You want them to be normal.

“There they are,” Jimin claps, eyes glittering with mischief. “The heroes of the night. The ones that kept us up until 3am.” You ignore everyone’s stares in favor of grabbing a bowl in the kitchen and choosing a cereal, hunger greatly outweighing humiliation. Actually, you’re not even embarrassed. You had some great sex last night and you’re happy about it, and they should be too.

“Tae seems to have a special glow this morning,” Hoseok adds, grinning. “Was it good?”

“Sounds like it was.” Namjoon snickers, pretending like he doesn’t notice your glare.

“Shut up you two, don’t act like we didn’t hear you breaking the bed last night way after us.” You snap, sticking your tongue out at both men. Their eyebrows shoot up. “And you can’t talk either Jimin, I know you spent the night in Yoongi’s room.”

“So now you’re defending him? Jesus, Tae, what did you do to her?” Jimin snorts, elbowing his friend playfully. Neither you nor Taehyung have a reaction to the further teasing, eating your food in silence and sharing looks with each other.

You’re saved from the teasing a few minutes later when Jungkook and Sooyun walk in hand in hand, hair mused and crust under their eyes. It’s clear they had an eventful night and sorted out their issues, much like you and Tae, and you wonder if they’re a couple now. You’ll ask Sooyun later for all the details. Zoe questions them with a raised eyebrow, looking them up and down when they stand embarrassed in the middle of the dining room. Jimin yells out the obvious, stating that they had sex and their faces explode into color. You don’t have enough energy to scold him again.

Leaving the lake house is almost peaceful for you, you feel like this is a suitable conclusion to your high school life, like you’ve found closure after your resolution, and that everyone is leaving happier than when they came. In the shower this morning, Tae asked if anything would change between you, expressing that he didn’t particularly expect anything to come out of this since you were about to leave for college. You told him the truth, that there’s no point in trying to develop your relationship this late in the game and that it’s better off if you just stay friends. He smiles at your rationality, easily agreeing and pulling you in for one more kiss. Your heart aches a little because you’ve missed possibly having a strong relationship with him during your high school years, but you’re ready to mature away from him. And besides, there’s always breaks and summer vacations to see each other, and plenty of chances to catch up with each other ;).

[kendrixtermina]

Sigh. Chibnall.

Jodie Whittaker and demographic realism

So I want to make clear that I have no problems whatsoever with Jodie Whittaker’s performance - the character seamlessly kept walking across the screen, she has great energy, love the steampunk goggles. 

Honestly I’ve always believed that giving existing characters a demographic change is not really as revolutionary or helpful as ppl think; New characters and stories (esp. told by writers of those samedemographics) solve the problem much better. Keeping specificity is often better than losing it, and the character still has a background (from an “advanced” civilization that used to do dirty deeds and is still kind of uppity attitudes, a character who’s decided to be against that attitude but still needs to be knocked own from the occasional uppity moment; It makes sense for them to look like a british dude, and they have the freedom to go wherever problems like sexism and racism don’t exist so... ), and will be linked to its origin.  But at worst something that will look dated in a few years like the 80s outfits, the show’s done dated and crowdpleasing before; There’s no hard reason not to do it and I expected no quality dip. 

It certainly worked as as attention grab, the premiere drew a lot of attention but that only lasted as long as it took for the reviews to go sour. But one of the main good things its proponents said could come of it was to help the lack of female anti heroes. So far she really didn’t get to anti hero much; It’s not Whittaker, it’s the scripts. 

I want to make this clear: Varied demograpics are good; 

This is why I kind of hate the term “diversity” is one of those vague euphemisms if you mean “demographic representation”, “social equity” or “demographic realism” just say that. 

In a way this is a good thing, it used to be only the best boldest writers who could get away, noadays it has become acceptable to have varied casts. And that’s how it should be artshouldn’t have to have to pass some arbitrary quality standard to simply reflect reality. But as the rebootverse and star trek discovery should’ve proved realistic demographics can’t replace good writing. Sometimes lack of realistic demographis is associated with bad writing because both come from play-it-safe more-of-the-same consummerism focussed sameyness, often someone who goes against the formulas has a solid vision which makes them good, and focussing on ignored topics and perspectives can yield new ideas (consider stuff like Wonder Woman, Get Out, Black Panther... which were just good, novel movies) but you could have a super interesting memorable story where everyone is a medieval european monk, but the characters are differentiated by personality, attitude, beliefs, or something where the cast ticks all sort of all demographic boxes but the characters are 1D and the story trite and predictable

On the one hand you get those gamergate adjacent fanboys who make “diversity” and “good writing” out to be enimical opposites and then you have the purists/antis who treat any critique of writing to be founded in having something against realistic demographics. You need both! 

Series 11

There were good things about it: An attempt at leastto do more of your classic thought provoking space operas or going back to the shows’ pulp fiction roots, covering some historic periods/topics other than the classic historical fiction tropes (they got a pakistani writer, had Yaz and Ryan discuss social topics among themselves etc.), the emotional story centered around this family coping with a loss, having Ryan sort of be the “main” companion and the one the rest of the team is protective of

But overall the reason I didn’t rush to watch s12 as soon as it came out is that it was a bit... bland. The team interacted mostly with each other; The Doctor had more charge with one shot characters like King James or the Solitract than she really did with the companions. Graham was such a missed opportunity. Remember how everyone loved the dynamic with Wilfred? No attempt to strike a bond over how they’re the older party members, or the professional xenophile trying to nudge the bilbo baggins like reluctant hero? We’re told the Doctor really likes Yaz, and I believe it cause she always liked people like that, but are we shown?

For all that Moffat and RTD were very different writers with different strenghts and weaknesses, both were very character-driven writers, and that was really missing here a bit. 

Some ppl said they didn’t give Yaz enough screentime or personality - but the thing is, they did try. They just failed. They let her make little remarks here and there about her homelife, they just never really assembled into a whole beyond buzzwords and inspirational platitudes and the Standard Companion Traits. I didn’t get a read on what she’s about or who she’s like until the pakisan episode where she unlike Barbara, Donna etc. immediately accepted that the past can’t be changed. Ah, I finally thought, she’s a very responsible dutiful person.

Everything lacks edges and defining moments. 

So far, I didn’t sweat it. I though, ok, not everything can be the high-concept character driven spec fic epic type of story that is my personal favorite. Every time there was some addition to the mythos in any way someone cried ruined forever. When the time lords first appeared. When the time war was introduced. 

The classics too were lower on the character driven ness; Still good pulp fiction content. (imho the character concepts themselves were often pretty good, just not used to the fullest and some of the actresses were treated crappy backstage)

I thought “okey, it wouldn’t be good to break with the tradition of making the sussequent incarnations contrasting”

I did think that there was much liberty with the additions which the others did do only towards the end when it feltmore earned, but, the addition of say, sisters, isn’t too disruptive

Series 12 and the Timeless Child Nonsense

The frustrating thing about this is that it COULD have been good. 

The Master teaming up with the cybermen to try and take over Gallifrey is precisely the sort of story the classics would’ve done. 

“Your society is founded on a shady secret and exploitation of the innocent” is a good plot twist especially in these times. The Master finding that secret and using it to his advantage - also very him. 

Imagine what it could have been like if it had been approached from the perspective of someone who, for all that they were a rebel, still sort of profited from being part of that society, someone who wants to take responsibility for that past and would maybe have to make some tough choice to let the exploitation victim go because it’s right even if it has cosequences for themselves and their civilization. 

but then you ruin that by immediately taking the protagonist out of that society. They and they alone are the victim. 

like this plot could have been good except for the twist that the Doctor and the timeless child are the same. 

Not connecting it to existing lore about the earlier war game days, everything with Omega and Rassilon, that bit about the Time Lord becoming what they were through exposure to the untempered schism... that might be forgiven. Even if it does stretch the suspension of disbelief that every single piece of sci fi scanning equipment in the show didn’t pick anything up; Not to mention that it destroys the stake on every heroic sacrifice or death prophecy plot, every time a companion or oneshot character took the bullet, the whole “out of regens” plot...

This is not me being mad about things being added or changed, but this being done in such a way that undermines the philosophy, the whole flavor... 

Yes, the MC is mysterious, the 7th Doctor arcs did a lot with this etc. but doesn’t spelling something out this clear not deplete rather than add to that? It#s a definite answer even if the final origin isn’t clear. 

But they’re so much else.

The trickster hero accomplishing great deeds with planning, guile, improvisation and duct tape, the implicit value that ressourcefulness trumps raw power. 

The rebel, different because they chose to be or made themselves to be such through their adventures, sticking to their own values in a close-minded society - who embodies & encourages thinking for yourself in every situation and universal plot, who battles enemies like the Daleks and Cybermen that represent comformity

Yeah they have many names yeah they take out gods... but all this was the result of their actions & path in pursuit of knowledge, and also, as Moffat once stated, the funny part is that behind all the fearsome reputation is wit and duct tape. 

The fish in a small pond who started out a misfit, failed their tardis driving exam... etc. and often made a point that they didn’t want immortality or endless godlike power. That’s meaningless if they had it to begin with. 

The explorer who wanted to see more than their corner of the world. 

The ANTI HERO that’s made alltogether too tragic here, too absolved from their uppity civilization

All that is wiped away if they were this special creature to begin with.

Where WAS the philosophy, rly? The big humanist speeches that made me love the show. 

Going Forward

So I think - I HOPE - that this in particular will be treated like the “half human” thing from the TV movie or the now josses additional origin stories from the audios, or be handwaved under the “you cant get it wrong cause everything is in flux” carpet

It’s the Master effing with her to pay her back for the half broken chameleon arch thing. 

It’s possible the Child actually existed, long dead or trapped somewhere - again, dirty mystery at the bottom of a stck-up society is a good twist. but this shouldn’t be more than another maybe in the multiple choice past not a definite answer. 

Also, i hate this line of thought but I can’t stave it off: Why is is now that the MC looks female that we get this vulnerable, passively victimized tomato surprise rather than something with an ugly but definite choice in it. 

I will probably ignore it - parts of me resents this cause “your civilization is based on a lie” could be such a good plot twist (then again the existing twists to that end from the classics and End of Time do enough rly) but if i have to choose between that and the basic meaning of the character....

[haikyuu-scenarios-drabbles]

anonymous asked:  How would you feel about an Avatar AU? I’d love to see what element, or if a character is a non-bender, you feel would match your favourite characters in HQ!

oh-HO. i am unsure if you know that Avatar is one of my all-time favorite shows so when i saw this ask i was pumped!!! without further ado: i finally had some inspiration. i took this a bit farther than just my fav characters (i did as many as i could think of) and although i say in my rules i don’t do hc’s i felt this ask was best answered in that format so i did my best! i hope you enjoy 😁 im nervous as hell about headcanons 😬 some i have reasons for (serious or funny) and others i just...have a feeling 

special shoutout to my discord fam that i love so dearly and especially to @animelake13 and @justoverseas for helping me out 💕💕

Karasuno:

Daichi:

Alright with those thighs and that dependability?? Earthbender through and through

He is a rock solid, all-around player that holds Karasuno all together

he is their BASE, stable as fuck

he didn’t get those thighs from nothing he got them kicking around some boulders

didnt get those arms from nothing either, punching rocks out of mountainsides

Suga:

Waterbender for sure

Hello? Mr. Refreshing

Very calm and level-headed, but like Katara: DO NOT. FUCK WITH HIM.

He’ll fuck you up

again like Katara, mom friend, supporting the whole team, caring a lot about them and getting ready to fight and ready to jump in and help at a moments notice

Asahi: (Thanks Louie!)

ok so this boy was hard to decide bc, he’s a nervous bean but also the motherfuckin ace so he ain’t playin around

so i decided on earthbender because, he’s a big boi; a powerful and all-around player that has the respect of his teammates

and although he’s nervous, so maybe he doesn’t use earthbending to the extent of other benders but when he needs to, he will

and when he does it has impact and he is a pretty strong earthbender to boot

he can move fucking mountains when he wants to

member of the white lotus bc he only uses his immense power when he absolutely has to

noya: “asahi!! show us your bending”

asahi: “oh im not much of a bender”

MOVES A CONTINENT

Noya:

While my first instinct was firebender

the more i thought about it the more airbender made sense

air is the element of freedom and Noya is the definition of wild and free

not only that but his position too! airbending is almost purely defensive

sounds like our guardian diety to me

also can u imagine

Noya and Hinata racing like maniacs on air scooters

Daichi throwing up barriers all over the place to stop them but they just nyoom around them like obstacles

airbending is all about circles too and roooooolllliiiinnnng (hehe) thunder!!!

Tanaka:

alrighty well here is Karasuno’s firebender

Firebending is known for its intense and aggressive attacking style and literally

Tanaka yells like a maniac anytime he goes in for a spike

and firebenders can be hotheaded (dont have to be, Iroh for example) BUT say anything about Kiyoko, Karasuno or really anything and he’s ready to throw down

it might be all talk but he still gets fucking triggered

he fires up two flames in his palms and makes that face “ehhh what did you say about our lovely Kiyoko-san?!?”

Enno:

airbender

he has such patience and probably mediates or something 

or else he’d go crazy from Tanaka and Noya doing stupid airbender/firebender shit and burning down the entire town 

deals it out when he needs to, sometimes blowing Tanaka and Noya to opposite sides of the room and pinning them there until they calm the fuck down

anytime Tanaka gets too heated, Enno just shows up and blows out his fire 

Hinata:

ok so i kinda spoiled earlier

but airbender

i know airbending is defensive and Hinata sucks at that aspect, but his personality man, airbender all the way

again imagine him and Noya zooming on air scooters around

they would be a MENANCE

but also in the same sense, airbending is all about finding a way around the “normal” way of fighting (they refuse to harm anything is what i mean)

Hinata had to find his own way of fighting in volleyball and yeah…airbender  

possibly bc he’s a bit of an airhead too  

Kageyama:

WATERBENDER BUT WITH BLOODBENDING BACKGROUND

ok hear me out

he used to want to control people and make them do what he wants, otherwise get rid of them bc they’re useless and who needs ‘em

but then he meets this stupid, bounce off the walls, airbender who he doesn’t need to control bc this kid already does what he couldnt find in anyone else

and he slowly learns to stop using bloodbending, sometimes slips and lapses, but for the most part has left that part of him behind

also water is the element of change and Kageyama certainly goes through a major change in character throughout Haikyuu

everytime Hina and him fight, they make a snowstorm that nobody can stop and it pisses Tsukki off bc he can’t do anything about it

Tsukki: (props to Lake for this one)

tsukki why are you an enigma

nonbender and is a sword master 

with his ability to analyze and control, he would heckin destroy 

sword fights are a lot about watching your opponent and being able to make a quick decision to block or counter attack 

he can definitely make decisions at the drop of a hat and his strategies work and work well 

Yamaguchi:

THIS BOY

IS A WATERBENDER BUT SPECIALIZES IN HEALING

when Karasuno needs him most!!! he’s there!! ready to help and get his team back on his feet, in this sense by healing them

and also like Suga, mirroring Katara, don’t fuck with him. especially when it comes to Tsukki

AGAIN like Katara/Suga, mom friend, there to support all the time and bust in and help when needed

More teams under the cut!

Aoba Johsai:

Oikawa:

so there’s a bit of a trend here i see

but Oikawa would also be a waterbender, i guess it’s a setter thing

water is the element of change and Oikawa adjusts his setting style and approach for each of his team members to bring out the best of them

waterbenders let their defense become their offense turning their opponents own forces against them which i think fits Oikawa to a T

can make ice spikes he can throw long distances with scary accurate precision

like, one can just zip past your ear, and you dont see him anywhere where tf is he?!

Iwaizumi: 

i couldn’t decide between firebender and earthbender

so i went with the lovely mix, lavabender 

just like Toph, Iwa shows his affection through some sort of violence, but thats just cause he cares a lot

oikawa has mastered the art of distinguishing flaming hunks of smoldering rock thrown at his face

also stubborn unmoving like a rock

and when he gets heated, he is fired up

and finally, arms. where did he get ‘em? throwing boulders around. 

Shiratorizawa:

Ushijima:

metalbender, bc he’s definitely an earth bender but there’s something special about him

he’s a little dense (ok maybe not a little)

Earthbenders are generally muscular, tough and direct AND HELLO. thats Ushijima in a nutshell 

Tendou:

our guess monster is definitely a non-bender

like ty lee specializes in chi-blocking 

he can disrupt someones chi pretty easily making them completely helpless 

sometimes he does it to be funny 

like make Ushi’s right arm useless for a day 

and Ushi is like “Tendou. I don’t use that arm anyways.” 

“i knoooooooow Wakatoshi thats the point!”

which for some reason Tendou thinks is hilarious cause now he really cant use it 

Semi:

firebender

mainly bc of his hotheaded and competitive behavior 

his desire to show his abilities in his words is “uncontainable” and that kind of made me think of Azula 

wants to show off and be the best 

Shirabu:

so although Shirabu is also extremely hot-headed, he hits me as a waterbender too 

maybe just because every single setter so far has been a waterbender but its just my gut feeling 🤷

Nekoma:

Kuroo:

firebender but can lightning bend

dont ask me why it just seems right

he has the concentration and flow it takes to lightning bend, i mean he has that whole speech he gives to his team before every game 

“We're like the blood in our veins. We must flow without stopping. Keep the oxygen moving and your mind working.” 

and while this may lead to possibly thinking he could be a waterbender, he uses his knack for fluid motion and deceptive strength for a different purpose

not only can he lightning bend, he can redirect lightning which takes an immense amount of skill and is drawn from waterbending techniques

maybe its also the hair cause it looks like he got hit by lightning

Kenma:

ill be honest, i dont think Kenma would be a bender

what he would be ilike is Sokka, super smart, the strategizer, the man with the plan

who people look to for the next step, the brain of the operation

and i dont think he’d necessarily have a speciality besides overwhelming ability to observe and make decisions

so basically…he’d be the same LOL

Yaku:

earthbender

being small (dont kick me Yaku) means nothing (uhh have you seen Toph?)

super dependable and not gunna take anyone’s shit

Yamamoto:

Tanaka’s counterpart

his homeboy

his fellow firebender

both ready to throwdown at a moments notice

Fukurodani: (wow i suck i dont know anyone well enough but these two)

Bokuto:

did someone say airbender??

i just keep imagining he was the one to teach Hinata the air scooter and they fuckin zoom around while Bokuto is hollering at the top of his lungs

his hair already looks winblown, like he just stepped off his glider and doesn’t bother to fix it

also im cackling bc airbenders prefer evasive manuevers and…i keep thinking about that time he ran away from a block and Akaashi called him out for it

Akaashi: (ily Lake for helping)

so apparently setters are waterbenders

bc this boy is definitely one

he has nice fingers (weird i know) but i can see him just making these beautiful hand motions to bend water and hnngg yes

ok but in a more real way, waterbenders have strong fluid motion and understand those around them, they believe in very strong connections between individuals 

so even when Bo is out of the game, Fukurodani doesn’t fall apart because they have strong connections and can survive without him 

[svartalfhild]

"Someone's greatest fear" for Rowan and/or Rufus

Rowan never expected to be valedictorian at Trystenhollow University, but here she was, getting ready to deliver her speech at graduation to a massive audience.  She’d be lying if she said she wasn’t nervous.  It was hard to keep her hands steady as they held tightly to her note cards.  This was going to be her moment.  No one could doubt her now.  No one could say that she had never accomplished anything.  She would be heard.

She felt her heart leap into her throat as the president of the university introduced her and signaled for her to come to the podium.  She started to move, but then a woman ran up and whispered in the president’s ear.

“I’m sorry, there’s been a mistake.  This year’s valedictorian is Jason Campbell.  Please welcome him as he shares a few words of wisdom,” the president stated.  Before Rowan could react, a horribly familiar figure brushed past her and headed to the podium, a smug grin on his lips.  He looked at Rowan, who stood stunned, unable to think.  The glint of sick glee in his eyes burned a gaping emptiness into her heart.

“He doesn’t even go here!” Rowan blurted out angrily.  “At least, I didn’t think…” she went on, feeling less sure of herself with each word.  This couldn’t be right.  How could this be happening?  Wouldn’t they have told her much sooner if there had been a mistake?  How did Jason of all people develop the work ethic to surpass her?

“Ms. Axel, please return to your seat,” someone told her firmly, her mind didn’t register who.

“No.  No, you don’t get to do this.  You don’t get to fuck me again,” Rowan responded loudly before rushing up and snatching the microphone off the podium to speak into it.  Several faculty members tried to stop her, but she bobbed and wove to avoid their grasp.  “Jason Campbell is a lying bastard.  I don’t know who he fucked to make this happen, but he has never had a single word of wisdom to share in his life.  He’s hurt a dozen girls by now and screw every. single. person. who let him get away with it and is still letting him get away with it.  You’re all complicit in his crimes.  Fuck the patriarchy and fuck this university.  I’m out.”

With that, she jumped off the stage and spiked the mic on the ground, breaking it instantly.  Security was coming for her now and she wasted no more time in booking it out of there, throwing off her cap and robe as she went.  Other students jeered and laughed at her flight.  She didn’t stop running until she was at the abandoned train station, where she collapsed at the edge of the platform, letting her legs hang off the side.  Usually, this was where she would start crying, but no tears came.  She only felt that awful void inside.  Jason had managed to ruin her life again.  Would it ever end, this terrible cycle of destruction?  Would he always dog her footsteps?  Poison every well from which she attempted to drink?

Rowan didn’t know how long she sat there, contemplating her fate.  It grew dark and bitter cold.  Leaves on the wind scraped across her, like Mother Nature herself was expressing her disgust.

Eventually, she heard footsteps approaching at a purposeful pace.  She leapt up and drew her pocket knife, but lowered it when she saw that it was Rufus approaching.

“Oh, it’s you,” she muttered with a sigh of relief.  As he grew closer, she learned her mistake in that relief, because he was wearing a scowl she’d never seen on him before.

“What were you thinking, Rowan?” he asked harshly.  “That was- I knew you could be impetuous, but that was just…a step further than I thought you would ever go.”

“Wh-What…what do you mean?”  Rowan took a step back, shocked at being spoken to like this by Rufus of all people.  She’d never known him to be so passionately accusatory.  Had she really gone too far?  No.  No, she’d had a right to say everything she’d said.  Maybe they were misunderstanding each other.

“You’re out of line, Rowan.  Just because someone hurt you doesn’t mean you have the right to throw a temper tantrum at graduation and destroy sound equipment.”

“That’s not what that was!  I was standing up for myself and for every person who’s been wronged like me.  You know better than practically anyone in this town the value of protest and disruption.”

“Don’t you dare compare your little stunt with a proper protest.  God, I was so stupid, thinking you were this unflappable iron lady, but your just a petulant child who flies off the handle the moment someone provokes you.”

“No, no, that’s not…I didn’t mean… why are you…?”  Rowan struggled to respond.  She’d never felt so small, never questioned herself so thoroughly as she did now.

“I thought you were better than this, but I was wrong.  You’re volatile, and I want you to stay away from me.”   With that, Rufus turned on his heel and disappeared into the shadows.

- - -

Rowan awoke in a cold sweat, her breath ragged with panic.  It had just been a nightmare, but it had felt so terribly real.  Shakily, she slipped out of her bed and grabbed her leather jacket off the back of her desk chair.  She ungracefully shrugged it on as she shuffled out of her room and through the house to the back door.

The biting chill of the night air hit her as she came outside, but it didn’t pierce her bones the way it had in her dream.  She went to sit on the top step of the back porch and took a deep breath.

“It’s not real,” she whispered to herself.  “Nothing like that would ever happen.”  Even so, she still felt an awful ache in her chest.  That sort of thing was hard to shake when your worst fears had been thrust at you in your sleep.

Rowan’s pocket buzzed.  She’d forgotten that she’d left her phone in there earlier in her haste to get to bed.  She took it out and opened a text from Tyra.

“You’re missing a great party,” the text read with an attached picture of her posing with Olivia and Shen, who looked kinda lit, judging from how enthusiastically they were holding up their solo cups.

“I’m sure the party isn’t missing me,” Rowan texted back before setting aside her phone.  She looked up at the thin sliver of crescent moon hanging in the sky and sighed heavily.  Her nightmares may not be real, but that didn’t mean her reality wasn’t a mess.

Her phone buzzed again.

“Rufus was asking if you were here.”

“Yeah obviously so he could avoid me,” Rowan replied before setting aside her phone, face down this time.  She zipped up her jacket and hugged herself for warmth, but to little effect.  It seemed that comfort wasn’t something she was going to find tonight.

Several minutes passed in contemplative silence before Rowan’s phone buzzed again.  She waited a few more moments after that before she picked it up to read Tyra’s next message.

“I’m sorry about what happened.  I wanted to bring y’all together not push you apart.”

“I’m not interested in your excuses.  Just let me try to put my heart back together in peace,” Rowan quickly replied before setting her phone to silent and shoving it back in her pocket.  She got to her feet and headed back in to the kitchen to start making some tea.  It was going to be a long, sleepless night.

[sparkledeerfr]

Warnings: None

(I’m tryin’ to get back into it okay. It’s a shortie)

--------

The Breach

It's a familiar enough scene to those in it- Adeline is sitting in one of the chairs in Mochi’s tent, sitting rock still as he applies the speciality mix of henna to her hands.

She has enough tattoos and chimes and ornaments, and indeed back up, but this mixture weaved by him and infused with burnt sage always makes her feel a little better, the delicate patterns and unknown words inked on her skin for a scant few weeks, the flowers lacing her knuckles. Mochi as always is mostly silent but precise, focusing on the work and making what few could.

“So I hate to ask you this,” Adeline starts, knowing aburbt speech won’t disrupt him, and indeed the flow of the mixture onto her wrist does not stop in the slightest, but his ear twitches to her. “But you’re the only one who might know so is Pietro...okay?”

She didn’t really want to push the issue with Grenfell. Gods knew the man would not so much lie as bluster and tell you everything but precisely what had been asked, but he was actually touchy with his child in a way she hadn’t seen before. It was though...well it was though Piet was one of the few things Gren genuinely loved, without reservation.

But really just looking at Pietro one couldn’t help but ask if maybe something sinister wasn’t goin’ on there.

“Back at my school,” Mochi said, voice calm and even and slightly soothing as always, not stopping the work. “We were told that if you trained in fleshweaving for an extended period of time, you may not wish to have children. This is because you significantly change your own body structure,” he looked up at this and a small smile appeared, not so much half heartedly as Mochi did not really do gestures of any kind that was not placid evenness. “I must tell you I thought it was just a rumor but obviously my opinions have...changed.”

“‘For an extended period of time’.” Adeline looked toward the tent flap, though she heard no one. It was more her own nervous energy. She didn’t like sitting still for long and always kept an eye on the doors. “Well Gren did that, didn’t he? So Piet’s just really kinda like that?”

“That he is,” Mochi replied. “And that we all are.” She quieted and watched for a moment, wondering at how steady his hands were, how he could trace those interlacing scripts and designs with such precision each time, not even needing to move or adjust the chunky henna slurry before it began to dry.

Mochi was always so precise and exacting- and he’d help with the smallest thing like a sewing error or a knitting project. Always unflappable, never angry, always doing the job ahead of him with the utmost of him no matter large or small.

It was perhaps Grenfell’s fault that she remembered that he too was a fleshweaver, and one with his nature...well if he wanted to do something…to a person...

She cleared her throat in an attempt to clear her thoughts. “So what made you want to start up Fleshweaving?” she asked. 

“I enjoy helping,” he said, and that his ear did not even flick towards her told her that he had perhaps caught onto her line of thinking. “If I can help in a way few can then so much the better. I like little things, Adeline- the sound of windchimes, the boiling of soup, the way the sun hits the clouds on particular mornings. I find joy in these, and good work. I don’t need anything grand if I can help a person stay warm, or gain feeling back in a hand.” He looks up again at this. “I’m sure you can understand that.”

“Yeah,” she replied. “Yeah I can.”

----

Adeline walked out from the tent with a gentle reminder from Mochi to watch her hands and to let it settle in fully, perhaps in the sun. He said that every time, but she looked out through the odd hole in the city wall- The Breach.

She heard the windchimes that had been hung, looked out over the fields of swaying wheat and grass and far beyond it towards the woods and stream. It was a good view, she thought. Peaceful and very Mochi. He’d chosen a good spot.

But her eyes went up to the stone work and noticed the hole did not look like it had been broken in by a siege weapon. Not so much broken as melted- a giant fissure in the near impenetrable wall of the Stone City. 

Something that could melt stone. Maybe a lot of fire could perhaps do it but...no. She turned back to the tent and opened it, Mochi barely glancing back up at her. “Hey, uh, weird question because I know the whole Weaver non-interference and non-violence thing but uh...would you ever participate in like...a battle of any kind?”

Mochi’s eyes lit up for just the barest of a second. “That is, perhaps, the great irony of my order,” he said, putting a small garden shovel carefully and exactly into its proper spot in a drawer. “We may be called upon to take down any member who, let’s say, gets out of hand. The only battle we fight would be against our siblings.” He turns his head and again there’s that small smile. He of course has followed her line of thinking as though he’s been waiting for her to ask. “Not that I’ve ever been called. It’s rare enough, though I do think on it more since moving here.”

-----

Adeline is still looking at The Breach when she feels a familiar form approach, and she doesn’t move as it carefully crawls up her back. It’s both warm and soft, like the feeling of a hairless cat, but this particular individual is much more hearty than he feels.

“Auntie?” he asks, several multi-colored eyes looking at her as two long tails wrap around her waist. His voice is odd for those who haven’t heard it before- precise and clipped when you expected something more growling and guttural. Her hand reaches up to scratch through his stolen mess of a mane and she knows he’s hoping that she wants to hunt something.

Pietro did so like a hunt. Always had since he could move his legs quick enough.

“You know that saying that you should beware the anger of a patient man?” Ade said and Pietro nodded. “I’m thinkin’ your dad pissed off a whole bunch of patient people a long time ago.”

Pietro’s voice was nothing like you’d expect, and so rare that few had heard it, but his laugh- his laugh was deep and wet and meaty, the smile of it going far past where his jaws should be and showing every inch of his many teeth. It was something very slightly unhinged, monstrous, and joyful.

Yeah, she thought, still petting him as he nuzzled into her neck with his nose. He might be different but he was still his father’s son. He thought that to be great fun.

[beesmygod]

this is what riverdale is about (part 6)

part 1

part 2

part 3

part 4

part 5

and now...we come to the end of our journey...the final 4 episodes of the season. who killed jason blossom? you forgot that’s what we were doing, huh. you  were way too distracted by sex archie and the jughead/betty relationship (called ‘bughead’ in universe). 

i have a friend who has been watching riverdale because i have basically tricked him into doing so and frankly, what i am typing here was and is only the surface of this show’s nonsense. as he watched episodes, he reminds me of all the completely bananas shit that this show throws at you literally every second it is on screen and honestly its a relief to know that, as much as i can try to just give you some basic facts, watching the show itself is still a totally different transcendent experience. its really the only show of its kind; shamelessly stupid but unaware of it while openly delighting in all the silliest cliches presented as straight faced as possible. if these write up do anything for you at all, please, please. watch the show. you will be shocked at how much more there is to discover.

images are from the riverdale wiki

---

SEASON 1 (PART 4): 

the lost weekend: this is the one with a very special guest star in it: molly ringwald as archie’s mom! she and fred (luke perry) have been separated for some amount of time for an unknown reason. yay she’s so cute! i love her. oh uh, also they’re getting a divorce. the papers are going through. archie gets the bad news in the middle of a gaming sesh with jughead.

meanwhile, veronica meets with her dad’s lawyer (whose name is paul sowerberry?? he never shows up again despite his unbelievably silly name) and tells him she’s not giving him a good statement as to her father’s character to help him get a lesser sentence. “fuck you dad!” is the general sentiment before she stomps out to go to school.

oh man there’s a weird aspect of this show that i have neglected to mention. this isn’t something i’ve ever experienced in school so it was totally foreign and weird to me but the students have their own lounge that they mingle and talk in...at...some point during the school day?? jughead’s opening monologue of this episode makes great pains to talk about how every moment of their lives are scheduled from 8am to 3pm but there’s apparently plenty of sittin’ time where they can just laze about this random room talking about crimes they have or are going to commit. a great deal of talking happens in this room when usually you’d have to like, sneak a convo while getting shit out of your locker between classes. i dunno, it’s weird. this is where archie tells veronica about clifford blossom sending her dad to jail so he can jack the land everyone is fighting over.

archie and betty make plans to celebrate jugheads birthday by taking him to the movies, which i feel like is in poor taste given his movie house was just destroyed but whatever. with betty coming along it’ll be just like the three muskateers! betty replies “AcTuAlLy ThErE wErE fOuR mUsKeTeErS” and somehow he doesn’t beat her to death with his bookbag right there and then. betty then doubles down on the bad words flowing out of her mouth and proposes they hold a surprise party for jughead since, according to his dad, he’s never had one. i have no idea what would compel her to think he would want this. even i know he doesn’t want this and i only know him through a tv screen. on top of this she goes out of her way to invite his deadbeat alcoholic dad multiple times. i thought she was supposed to be the smart, observant nancy drew type but like...what the fuck betty. jughead does, in fact, get pretty pissed at archie just for telling his girlfriend that he even has a birthday. presumably instead of telling him he emerged fully formed from the leader of the black parade’s forehead.

after finding out from some files that her dad was receiving money monthly from clifford blossom for some unspecified reason before the arrest, veronica challenges cheryl to a dance off and wins. unfortunately, veronica cant come forward with what she knows because it would make it look like her dad put a hit out on jason in retaliation. dance off to relieve the pain.

jughead fucking hates his party and makes sure everyone knows it. this is something NORMAL people do and he is NOT normal!!! he leaves the party in a huff when cheryl shows up to get her dance off revenge by ruining the party by inviting the whole school. this is the episode where he does his famous “im a weirdo, i have a hat” speech, which is deliciously dumb. they get in a fight, while jughead’s dad talks to kevin’s boyfriend (who you will remember is a member of his gang he assigned to keep tabs on the progress of the teens looking into the whole land plot mess) while betty’s mom secretly listens in?!

cheryl activates chaos mode and locks everyone in the house so they can play a game called “secrets and sins” which is really just an excuse for her to ask everyone horrible questions to make them feel bad. veronica accuses cheryl of fucking her brother, dilton doiley tells everyone about grundy’s statutory rape of archie andrews and chuck tells everyone about dark mode betty drugging him for an impromptu bdsm session which causes jughead to go apeshit and try to throw a weak little baby punch. jughead’s dad, as the only adult who for some reason let all this happen, finally throws everyone out and tells them to go home.

archie and veronica sleep together, by which i mean, next to each other in the same room. veronica testifies on her father’s behalf and discloses to betty the link between jugheads dad and the serpents and her dad’s land plot dreams. molly ringwald appears for 20 seconds.

INHALES. OKAY.

to riverdale and back again: its homecoming babey! archie’s very supportive mother has a nice talk with him. :) veronica founds out that her dad only has to serve “a few more months” in prison for his various white collar crimes, further proof that riverdale takes place in america. jughead and his dad have a nice normal breakfast while fp sweats and asks him “hey uh, how come uh you’re writing about the uhhhh murder and investigating it and stuff” like a normal dad would. archie and veronica tentatively agree to start going out. 

penelopy blossom brings polly (betty’s pregnant sister, remember her? i didn’t) a strawberry milkshake in the most ominous way possible. veronica plans to sneakily find out if jughead’s dad is helping her own and for what purpose, ultimately. jughead accepts and invite to betty’s house for dinner, not knowing her mom is going to grill the shit out of him and his dad over the whole kid murder thing.

polly finds the ring jason proposed to her with back in penelope’s room while snooping, and has no idea how it wound up back in the hands of his mother. according to penelope, jason threw it in their face when he renounced his lineage, then gives her another milkshake.

the cooper family event is disrupted when betty, wise to her mother’s horseshit, invites her estranged dad to dinner too. all hell breaks loose when the subject of homecoming comes up and fp reveals that while alice and hal were crowned homecoming king and queen, they got in a knockout, drag-out fight backstage. alice flips out before he can reveal what it was about and betty and jughead flee for the dance. meanwhile archie and veronica try, and fail, to find something incriminating in fp’s trailer.

cheryl discovers the milkshakes are DRUGGED and polly is going to sleep through homecoming. she informs her parents that she has disposed of the ring (evidence) and they dont have to worry about it anymore. you can see where this is going.

jughead’s dad drops a bomb on him right before homecoming that they’re going to move to toledo to meet up with jughead’s mom and baby sister. jughead hates this bc he just got used to betty and he wants to write his murder book.

archie and veronica sing a truly terrible cover of “kids in america” that has to be seen to be believed.

meanwhile, sherrif keller tears up fp’s house with a search warrant and finds the gun that was used to kill jason blossom. WHAAAA??? BUT ARCHIE AND VERONICA JUST SEARCHED IT??? how could this happen.....jughead finds out about the web of deception weaved by the friends and tells them all to fuck off so he can go to toledo with his family. jughead literally turns around and is informed that his dad was just arrested for murder. his life is so hilariously bad.

the sheriff sucks so bad at his job because he tells his gay son everything who then spills the beans to archie and co (sans jughead) who learn that fp is being framed, because they already tossed the place before.

cheryl has the ring. at this point none of these things mean anything.

i cant believe i still have two more of these. i’m going to have to split this post after this one.

anatomy of a murder: as it turns out, archie discovers, information you discover during a breaking and entering won’t hold up in court. oops. meanwhile fp inexplicably confesses to kidnapping jason after his fake drowning at sweetwater river so he could use him as ransom after discovering he heir to all that sweet maple syrup money. according to fp, jason nearly escaped so they cut their losses and blasted a hole in him. he also confesses to torching the car and stealing the sheriff's files (which we, the audience, know hal cooper did, not fp). well. that’s that, i guess.

betty’s dad comes back to the family home to destroy the murderboard evidence all like “whoo hoo! fp took a bullet for me!” hal’s concern and his reason for stealing the files in the first place, as it turns out, was because the feud between the coopers and the blossoms is more complicated than we thought. the coopers WERE blossoms, until grand-pappy was murdered, so they packed their shit and left with a new name. so that makes polly and jason related. cool!

fp apparently used his his last phone call to call kevin’s boyfriend who, after some pressing by the gang, admits that while he didnt see fp pull the trigger, he did help him put jason’s body in a freezer. this tip leads them to the corpse of a serpent who had a sack of money in a monogrammed dufflebag with the initials “h.l.” (hiram lodge). this is a comically dumb move for a crime boss to make. it is shockingly stupid.

joaquin tells kevin about a secret stash he and fp set up before he bounces from town forever because riverdale sucks. in the stash is jason’s jacket. everyone puzzles over what it means until betty, noted brain genius checks the pockets. in it they find a usb drive.

they sit down and watch the usb and react like they’re watching a sad documentary and not a snuff film. betty calls CHERYL OF ALL PEOPLE and tells her what they just saw on the usb. cheryl, queen of chaos, confronts her dad and tells him that everyone knows what he did.

it turns out the video depicts jason tied up in the basement of the whyte wyrm, there the dead serpent watches over him. clifford blossom walks in and blows a hole in his kid. fp confessed to protect jughead, who was threatened by cliff as the heat poured on.

clifford dies surrounded by his greatest love, maple syrup, by hanging himself in the syrup barn. lol

the sweet hereafter: how the fuck is there another episode of this? they solved the murder, what else could there possibly be to do. wtf. anyway.

the cops find hella drugs in the maple barn after clifford’s death. the assumed story is that jason learned about his dad’s heroin smuggling business and threatened to tell the cops on his dad which lead to his abduction, and eventual death. i guess the polly thing is in here too somehow. not important i guess. the lodges prepare for hiram’s arrival. betty and archie are going to be honored by the mayor for cracking the case at the 75th annual jubilee (wtf). hermoine attempts to buy fred out of the project now that the cops are cracking down on the serpents and making them the face of the construction company is now a very bad look.

betty tries to write an article for the town paper about fp being innocent but her parents wont publish it, citing it as a conflict of interest given she’s smooching the subject’s son. jughead FINALLY JUT NOW gets a social worker who realizes that fred has a dui and is not fit to care for a kid. he has to transfer to a new school district...SOUTHSIDE HIGH SCHOOL!!!

cheryl apologizes for throwing hands at jughead in a previous ep and gives him her iconic spider brooch. i am only bringing this up because she says, specifically, that selling it will net him a good amount of hamburgers and “s t-shirts” for years. why is she the only one who notices he only wears one kind of shirt. betty’s article getting published in the school paper leads to the above retaliation.

veronica’s mom honest to god asks her to sexually manipulate archie into convincing his dad to sell the project to her.

betty’s mom, after a confrontation, tells betty abt the fight she and her dad had on homecoming night when they were high schoolers. turns out...alice was pregnant. she gave the baby up for adoption after she went to the sisters of quiet mercy, like she did with polly, even though hal wanted an abortion. betty immediately tells all her friends this shit.

jughead transfers to the new high and flourishes. turns out they’re all baby gangsters there so they look at him and his dad as kings to be admired. when the archie group heads off to go rescue him, it turns out they dont need to do anything. but now that theyre all conveniently together, veronica gets a txt from cheryl saying she’s going to go be with jason....

they rush to the river where cheryl is having her ophelia meltdown in his stupid little river boat dress where she punches through the ice until she falls through. theres no way to describe how silly this scene is unless you see it so i won’t try but its so melodramatic and cheesy that youre going to be amazed that it got through the writing team at all. archie saves her by punching through the ice the other way. from under the ice. you will soon find, that all of archie’s solutions are to punch things.

betty does a speech at the jubilee that convinces fred not to sell. a nice ending for him.

meanwhile cheryl burns her fucking house down for a lark. just for the drama of it all. 

the same night, jughead and betty start to fuck, as do veronica and archie. not int he same room, like totally separately. but jughead is interrupted by the serpents and a dog named hotdog, who give him a jacket of his own so he can join the team. betty is scandalized.

archie goes to meet his father for a breakfast at pop’s chocklit shoppe for a serious talk. but while he’s int he bathroom, a man with a gun is holding up the chocklit shoppe. he demands fred’s wallet, then pops a hole in him and runs off.

and that.........is where this season......ends.

---

thank you for joining me for season 1 of this shitshow. i love this shitty show. if you loved reading about it, or were mortified by whatever the fuck happened here, then you should watch it as well.

i never pass up an opportunity to shill myself, so if you like what i write, drop me a buck or two at my patreon. i do more writing like this, but also i mostly make comics, so make sure to read the page when you’re signing up so you know what you’re getting!

i WILL return...with season...2!

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[words4notes]

Toni Morrison: 'Be Your Own Story', Wellesley College - 2004

I have to confess to all of you, Madame President, Board of Trustees, members of the faculty, relatives, friends, students. I have had some conflicted feelings about accepting this invitation to deliver the Commencement Address to Wellesley’s Class of 2004. My initial response, of course, was glee, a very strong sense of pleasure at, you know, participating personally and formally in the rites of an institution with this reputation: 125 years of history in women’s education, an enviable rostrum of graduates, its commitment sustained over the years in making a difference in the world, and its successful resistance to challenges that women’s colleges have faced from the beginning and throughout the years. An extraordinary record-and I was delighted to be asked to participate and return to this campus. But my second response was not so happy. I was very anxious about having to figure out something to say to this particular class at this particular time, because I was really troubled by what could be honestly said in 2004 to over 500 elegantly educated women, or to relatives and friends who are relieved at this moment, but hopeful as well as apprehensive. And to a college faculty and administration dedicated to leadership and knowledgeable about what that entails. Well, of course, I could be sure of the relatives and the friends, just tell them that youth is always insulting because it manages generation after generation not only to survive and replace us, but to triumph over us completely.

And I would remind the faculty and the administration of what each knows: that the work they do takes second place to nothing, nothing at all, and that theirs is a first order profession. Now, of course to the graduates I could make reference to things appropriate to your situations–the future, the past, the present, but most of all happiness. Regarding the future, I would have to rest my case on some bromide, like the future is yours for the taking. Or, that it’s whatever you make of it. But the fact is it is not yours for the taking. And it is not whatever you make of it. The future is also what other people make of it, how other people will participate in it and impinge on your experience of it. But I’m not going to talk anymore about the future because I’m hesitant to describe or predict because I’m not even certain that it exists. That is to say, I’m not certain that somehow, perhaps, a burgeoning ménage a trois of political interests, corporate interests and military interests will not prevail and literally annihilate an inhabitable, humane future. Because I don’t think we can any longer rely on separation of powers, free speech, religious tolerance or unchallengeable civil liberties as a matter of course. That is, not while finite humans in the flux of time make decisions of infinite damage. Not while finite humans make infinite claims of virtue and unassailable power that are beyond their competence, if not their reach. So, no happy talk about the future. Maybe the past offers a better venue. You already share an old tradition of an uncompromisingly intellectual women’s college, and that past and that tradition is important to both understand and preserve. It’s worthy of reverence and transmission. You’ve already learned some strategies for appraising the historical and economical and cultural past that you have inherited. But this is not a speech focusing on the splendor of the national past that you are also inheriting. You will detect a faint note of apology in the descriptions of this bequest, a kind of sorrow that accompanies it, because it’s not good enough for you. Because the past is already in debt to the mismanaged present. And besides, contrary to what you may have heard or learned, the past is not done and it is not over, it’s still in process, which is another way of saying that when it’s critiqued, analyzed, it yields new information about itself. The past is already changing as it is being reexamined, as it is being listened to for deeper resonances. Actually it can be more liberating than any imagined future if you are willing to identify its evasions, its distortions, its lies, and are willing to unleash its secrets. But again, it seemed inappropriate, very inappropriate, for me to delve into a past for people who are in the process of making one, forging their own, so I consider this focusing on your responsibility as graduates-graduates of this institution and citizens of the world-and to tell you once again, repeat to you the admonition, a sort of a wish, that you go out and save the world. That is to suggest to you that with energy and right thinking you can certainly improve, certainly you might even rescue it. Now that’s a heavy burden to be placed on one generation by a member of another generation because it’s a responsibility we ought to share, not save the world, but simply to love it, meaning don’t hurt it, it’s already beaten and scoured and gasping for breath. Don’t hurt it or enable others who do and will. Know and identify the predators waving flags made of dollar bills. They will say anything, promise anything, do everything to turn the planet into a casino where only the house cards can win-little people with finite lives love to play games with the infinite. But I thought better of that, selecting your responsibilities for you. If I did that, I would assume your education had been in vain and that you were incapable of deciding for yourself what your responsibilities should be. So, I’m left with the last thing that I sort of ignored as a topic. Happiness. I’m sure you have been told that this is the best time of your life. It may be. But if it’s true that this is the best time of your life, if you have already lived or are now living at this age the best years, or if the next few turn out to be the best, then you have my condolences. Because you’ll want to remain here, stuck in these so-called best years, never maturing, wanting only to look, to feel and be the adolescent that whole industries are devoted to forcing you to remain. One more flawless article of clothing, one more elaborate toy, the truly perfect diet, the harmless but necessary drug, the almost final elective surgery, the ultimate cosmetic-all designed to maintain hunger for stasis. While children are being eroticized into adults, adults are being exoticized into eternal juvenilia. I know that happiness has been the real, if covert, target of your labors here, your choices of companions, of the profession that you will enter. You deserve it and I want you to gain it, everybody should. But if that’s all you have on your mind, then you do have my sympathy, and if these are indeed the best years of your life, you do have my condolences because there is nothing, believe me, more satisfying, more gratifying than true adulthood. The adulthood that is the span of life before you. The process of becoming one is not inevitable. Its achievement is a difficult beauty, an intensely hard won glory, which commercial forces and cultural vapidity should not be permitted to deprive you of. Now, if I can’t talk inspiringly and hopefully about the future or the past or the present and your responsibility to the present or happiness, you might be wondering why I showed up. If things are that dour, that tentative, you might ask yourself, what’s this got to do with me? What about my life? I didn’t ask to be born, as they say. I beg to differ with you. Yes, you did! In fact, you insisted upon it. It’s too easy, you know, too ordinary, too common to not be born. So your presence here on Earth is a very large part your doing. So it is up to the self, that self that insisted on life that I want to speak to now-candidly-and tell you the truth that I have not really been clearheaded about, the world I have described to you, the one you are inheriting. All my ruminations about the future, the past, responsibility, happiness are really about my generation, not yours. My generation’s profligacy, my generation’s heedlessness and denial, its frail ego that required endless draughts of power juice and repeated images of weakness in others in order to prop up our own illusion of strength, more and more self congratulation while we sell you more and more games and images of death as entertainment. In short, the palm I was reading wasn’t yours, it was the splayed hand of my own generation and I know no generation has a complete grip on the imagination and work of the next one, not mine and not your parents’, not if you refuse to let it be so. You don’t have to accept those media labels. You need not settle for any defining category. You don’t have to be merely a taxpayer or a red state or a blue state or a consumer or a minority or a majority. Of course, you’re general, but you’re also specific. A citizen and a person, and the person you are is like nobody else on the planet. Nobody has the exact memory that you have. What is now known is not all what you are capable of knowing. You are your own stories and therefore free to imagine and experience what it means to be human without wealth. What it feels like to be human without domination over others, without reckless arrogance, without fear of others unlike you, without rotating, rehearsing and reinventing the hatreds you learned in the sandbox. And although you don’t have complete control over the narrative (no author does, I can tell you), you could nevertheless create it. Although you will never fully know or successfully manipulate the characters who surface or disrupt your plot, you can respect the ones who do by paying them close attention and doing them justice. The theme you choose may change or simply elude you, but being your own story means you can always choose the tone. It also means that you can invent the language to say who you are and what you mean. But then, I am a teller of stories and therefore an optimist, a believer in the ethical bend of the human heart, a believer in the mind’s disgust with fraud and its appetite for truth, a believer in the ferocity of beauty. So, from my point of view, which is that of a storyteller, I see your life as already artful, waiting, just waiting and ready for you to make it art. Thank you.

[darling-clemmy]

Summer Dreams: One (ClemxLouis FanFiction)

Summary: Louis arrives at Ericson’s Camp for Troubled Youth for the third summer in a row. Most everything is exactly the same, except for the new, pretty, junior counselor with curly hair.

Warnings: Swearing and in later chapters some mature-ish themes (NOT smut though!)

Word Count: 2,218

A/N: I have altered some of the reasons for the Ericson’s kids presences (mostly Violet) because I felt like their backstories were too intense/serious to only result in going to a summer camp. Also, this is going to be a multi-part series, but I’m not sure how many yet!

The late June heat seeped into Louis’ mom’s car despite the air conditioner being on high. It was only 9:30 in the morning, and already 89 degrees, which was alarming since it was a cool 60 earlier that morning when they left. It was about an hour and a half drive from their relatively large house to the summer camp which Louis dreaded going to. To him, the only good part about it was seeing his long-distance friends, like Marlon and Violet. And maybe Aasim, too.

Every summer, his father decided he needed time away from his son, still not fully forgiving him for the mischievous frauds committed by Louis years ago. He also believed that since they were so well off financially, it’d be good for him to experience some authentic outdoor time in the blistering heat. This was really just an attempt to humble Louis a little, but everyone at Ericson’s felt he was always going to be a little spoiled. They still loved him, though, and knew he was a genuinely good person under all of his designer clothes and expensive rings.

Lost in thought, Louis barely noticed when his mom returns to the car, jiggling the locked handle outside vigorously. He reached over to the driver’s side door and pulled the handle for her. She smiled at him and slided into her seat, placing the bulk of requisite paperwork in her lap.

Louis groaned and slumped his head and shoulders back. “Really? Paperwork, again? They should know I’m a regular now, especially after last year because of the whole laundry detergent accident.”

“It isn’t an accident if you meant to do it,” his mother reminded him. “And don’t get all fired up, I already filled it all out for you.”

“You know, I bet we’re the only family that has to fill out all of that crap every year.” He turned to face his mom, prematurely smiling at what he was about to say. “I bet we only have to because Mr. Ericson totally has a thing for you.”

She rolled her eyes while trying to repress a smirk. Light-heartedly, she said, “You’re crazy. He probably has a lovely wife and four amazing kids and maybe, like, a golden retriever, or something.”

“Mm, nope, he has some kind of pit bull. Her name’s Rosie—she bit some kid in that area last year.”

“Anyway,” she replied after chucking a bit. “I’m sure if your dad was the one to drop you off he’d have to fill out all the same stuff.”

Louis adverted his eyes and became quiet for a moment before mumbling, “As if he’d ever want to drop me off.”

He didn’t mean for it to come out so bitter, since he really was more sad about it than anything else. A good relationship with his dad was something he had wished for every year as he blew out birthday candles. He prayed that somehow everything would change. Of course, it never really did.

His mom sighed and placed a hand against his arm. “He does love you, Louis. You’re his son, his only child. Nothing can break that, even millions of mistakes.”

He nodded, still not meeting her dark brown eyes.

“I love you, sweetheart. You should start heading into the main building. I think I saw Marlon and his mother earlier.” She said, making Louis perk up a bit in hopes of seeing his friend.

“I love you, too, Mom. I’ll try to call as soon as I can,” Louis scrambled, stepping out of the car. Quickly, he grabbed his two suitcases out of the trunk and headed towards the front court yard, smiling back once at his mom.

+++

The dining hall was a familiar place to Louis. He had spent nearly every night in there for the past two summers, playing juvenile card games and eating the same bland food. The chatter of dozens of voices, the occasional clang of pots in the kitchen, and the long oak benches had become comforting to him. It was always a place of good memories, with more to be made in the upcoming weeks. Every camp season’s orientation was in here as a meeting place for new and old camp members and counselors.

Louis and his large group of friends sat together, taking up most of a section in the back. To his left was Marlon, sent to camp for extreme anger issues and fits of violence. On his right was Violet, who was sent for “not having any emotions,” according to her mother.

“So, Violet,” Louis starts. “I see Minnie and Sophie aren’t here. Do you know why?”

She blushed a pale rose at the mention of her annual summer-time girlfriend. “No idea. Maybe they did some acts of good service or some shit and their mom let them stay home.”

“That’d be a real shame, wouldn’t it?” Marlon teased, poking his head into their conversation.

“Fuck off,” Vi replied. “Why don’t you and Brody go get a heads start on sucking face in the bathrooms?”

Louis chucked, “And probably other parts of their bodies—“

He was cut off by the shrilling sound of an older man’s voice—Mr. Ericson’s voice, in the introduction of the same bullshit speech he gave every year about their mission to help each individual personally.

“While we stick with the same foundation to Ericson’s,” he went on. “This year, we have decided to make a change considering our counselors.”

Everybody started chatting once again, most in hopes that they finally fired Larry, the oldest and strictest counselor at Ericson’s.

“Settle down, everyone,” the old man interrupted. “No, we have not fired anybody, though Larry has retired. This year, we have hired some junior counselors to tag along with a senior one. They’re all teenagers, like yourselves, so that you can really see examples of responsible, well-rounded young adults.”

Marlon shifted towards Louis. “You think any of them will be hot?”

Louis shook his head. “Nah. Even if, they’re ‘well-rounded young adults.’ They wouldn’t go for us.”

“Well, if there are any, I call dibs.” Marlon stated, forcing a laugh out of Louis.

“We’ll see about that.”

Marlon roller his eyes subtly before turning back to face the front.

“Alright, everybody! Start heading to your assigned cabins and get rested for the first day of activities tomorrow. If you see a new counselor, make sure to introduce yourself! They won’t bite!” Mr. Ericson said, making only himself laugh.

+++

Later that night, once the moon was at its peak and everyone else was asleep, Louis crept out out of the cabin he shared with three others—Marlon, Mitch, and Justin. It was still moderately warm outside, but thankfully accompanied by a brisk wind which would pass by every so often. Clad in just sweatpants and an old provided green camp t-shirt, Louis made his best attempt to rush over to the music and arts hall as quick as he could. Dirt crunched beneath his shoes, making him worry he’d awaken somebody in his pursuit.

Finally, he made it to the small building which held his favorite past-time at camp, the grand piano. He had always loved music, although most nobody took him seriously when they heard him play, except for his mom. Even Marlon couldn’t hold a straight face when Louis played him Für Elise, which he had finally mastered after three straight weeks of learning it. Louis kept playing, though, even if it had to be in the dead of night.

He tip-toed up the rickety stairs to the front door, grabbing the rusted door knob once reaching the top. It didn’t budge.

“Dammit,” he whispered.

Suddenly, a nearby door creaked open, allowing dim light from inside to drain out onto the ground. Louis pressed his back against the door, still peaking his head to see in front of a pillar. All he could really make out was the silhouette of a girl, appearing to be carrying a small plastic bag out to a trash can. She clearly wasn’t a senior counselor, leaving her only to be a new camper or one of the new, dearly beloved junior counselors. Louis figured he wouldn’t get in too much of trouble if he just started walking back to his cabin then. And he may get to meet somebody new while doing it.

He started making his way towards the group of trash cans where the mysterious girl stood, pushing down whatever she just placed in. As he got closer, he was able to discern more characteristics of the figure, like her curly hair tied into two full pigtails. While this was expected to make someone seem child-like, Louis could already tell from the back of her that she could pull it off.

Once he got a few feet away from her, he greeted in a muted shout, “Hey!”

She jumped a bit in her place, instinctively turning around, curly tendrils hitting against her jaw.

The first thing Louis noticed about her were her eyes—bright even in the darkness and the color of ancient amber. They startled him, but he still found them beautiful, enchanting, even. She was on the shorter side, yet still held herself as if she was tall. She wore a pair of black exercise shorts and a baby blue t-shirt, signifying that she was in fact a junior counselor.

He supposed he was wrong earlier that there wouldn’t be any attractive ones. This girl was so much more than attractive, though.

“Hello?” She responded, curiously and dragging out her word.

“Sorry to disrupt your nightly chores. I’m Louis,” he apologized before holding out his hand.

She grasped it and shook it, suspiciously. “Clementine.”

“Well, I guess I should cut to the chase. See, the music hall is locked, preventing me from becoming the world’s next best pianist. Now, I know I’m not supposed to be awake, but neither are you most likely. So I was wondering if maybe you could unlock it for me?” He rushed out, flashing a toothy grin at the end in hopes his charm would woo her.

Clementine sighed before looking at him quizzically. After a moment, she gave in and shrugged her shoulders. “I guess it wouldn’t hurt to do. You’re lucky I have the keys to it.”

Louis pumped his fist in the air, really not expecting her to say yes. “Booyah! Thank you, Clementine.”

She smiled kindly at him and started walking towards the music hall. Louis followed behind her, jogging to catch up. He looked over at her and realized her eyebrows were now furrowed together as she reached up to her lanyard to grab the set of keys, fingering one silver one over the others.

Once they reached the cabin, she swiftly jabbed it in and unlocked it. As soon as the door opened, Louis could smell the scent of waxed floors and oak. In the back left corner lay his favorite piano, tempting his fingers to spread across the white notes. He cooly walked over to it and sat down, trying not to let Clementine see him get too giddy.

“How long have you been playing?” She asked, leaning against the cover.

“A few years, I mostly play when I come here, though,” he explained.

“So you’re a regular camper? That must suck.”

“It has its pros,” Louis shrugged. “You clearly aren’t the biggest fan of this place. Why’d you wanna’ work here?”

Clementine walked around the piano, sitting down next to him on the stool. “It pays well and seemed easy, but I don’t know if I’ll have this job for too much longer if anyone finds out about this.” She looked around the room.

“You really aren’t being that good of an influence on me, but don’t worry, I won’t tell.” He said, winking and splaying his fingers across the board.

He started playing a song from memory, not remembering which one it was. His palms felt sweaty with Clementine sitting right next to him, observing each melody played. She sat quietly, and from Louis’ peripheral vision, she was grinning loosely.

“You’re quite good, you know,” she complimented. “I’m not sure why you feel the need to do this at one in the morning, though.”

He played one more chord before stopping and meeting his eyes to her’s. “Maybe this was all just a master plan to talk to a pretty girl like yourself.”

She blushed, glancing down at the floor before standing up. “I should probably start getting back to my cabin. Need to be up early tomorrow.”

“Right. So do I, I don’t want Marlon to wake up and call for, like, a rescue team,” Louis joked, raising up next to her. “Let me walk you back to your cabin. It’s the least I can do.”

“It’s only like a hundred feet from here. I can handle myself, but thank you.” Clementine ticked her hair behind an ear before pacing over to the front door. “See you around, I hope.”

He raised his hand and waved. “Goodnight, Clementine.”

“Goodnight, Louis.”

She closed the door behind her as she left, leaving Louis alone, standing amidst the dying candle light.

He could feel his heart beating the whole walk back as he thought about the way she’d said his name when she wished him goodnight.

[kid-crashed]

Catch Me If You Can (Part 1)

This is a DamiJon College AU based off of some fantastic fanart by @une1st that you can find right here. Part 2 coming soon!

A shrill whistle rang over the practice field, easily being heard over the sound of rock music blasting from a set of speakers.

“Come on boys! Let me see that hustle!” The coach would have been easily identifiable, even without the booming voice. He was a giant man, easily six foot five, maybe more, with muscles straining against muted gray sweats. He was the only one standing on the sidelines, while the Metropolis City University football team practiced. “You best wake up and get your asses in gear or you’ll be running laps for the rest of the day!”

“Yes Coach!” The call came unanimously from the team as they worked through a series of warm up drills. Practice had only just started; earlier than normal, but they had their big Homecoming game tonight. This was their last chance to get a little extra training in.

The team finished their warm up, the coach stepping into the center of the field.

“Alright boy, take a knee.” The herd of college kids formed a semicircle around theman. His eyes surveyed his team  before landing on one member in particular. “Kent. Get your butt up here.”

“Sir, yes sir.” The guy in question stood up from amongst the team with a cocky grin on his face: Jon Kent. At twenty years old, he wasn’t the youngest person to ever make team captain, but he was still only a junior; a fact which had originally left a bad taste in the mouths of some of the seniors. Still, no one could deny that he’d earned this title, captain was elected by majority vote after all. But it was early in the season. This was his first big game to prove himself in.

He was tall by most standards, short by football’s, at six foot one. But more importantly, he was built almost entirely of lean muscle. His shoulders were broad, half inherited from his father, half the result of doing farm work his whole life. Unlike a lot of the members of the team, who looked like they snorted protein powder and skipped leg day regularly, Jon’s muscle mass was evenly distributed, giving him a conventionally fit, and attractive build.

He wiped the sweat on his hairline with the sleeve of his practice jersey. A clip board was handed over to him. It contained notes about each player on their team, as well as on their opponents.

“Alright folks,” He cleared his throat. “As you know, we’re going against Gotham tonight. Coach Stone can’t be trusted to call the shots ‘cause it’s his alma mater, so I’ll be taking over instead.” There was some collective snickering amongst the team. It was a running joke to five their coach a hard time for having gone to their biggest rival school. “So, here’s how it’s going to go.”

Jon started listing off the positions for roughly half of the team, mostly upperclassmen who were guaranteed a little spotlight in the homecoming game. There was a promise to all the new freshies and returning sophomores that if they proved themselves during training, they could get a little action too.

“Alright boys.” Coach Stone piped back in once Jon was done. “Take five for water, then we’re back to it.”

The members of the team split off back to their bags. Jon had left his over on the one long metal bench that stood at the bottom of the hill leading that lead to the field. As he walked up to it, he was able to look around and notice the small crowd of people interspured all over the knoll.

It wasn’t uncommon for other MU students to sit around and watch various athletic teams work out below. It was a nice place to hang out; sunny, but with a few trees for shade, and easy walking distance to one dining hall, the main gym, two libraries, and some of the larger academic buildings.

Seeing all these other students out here brought a smile to his face. He liked feeling like he was part of a community.

“Yo Kent, think fast!”

Jon’s head snapped up just in time to see a football being launched right at his head. God dammit. He ran back a few steps, thanking every fiber of his body that his reaction time was pretty high quality. Jon was able to cover enough distance that rather than being smacked in the head, the ball slammed his right in the chest. Jon wrapped his hands around the ball, pulling it in and keeping it close with his forearms. Nice. Ball: Caught. Receive: Perfect… Except… As he let his body follow the momentum, Jon felt the back of his ankle knock against something, and he toppled backwards.

“And down I go.” The exclamation was involuntary as he hit the ground with a thud. His recovery period was quick. The man sat up just in time to see one of his teammates cackling at Jon’s expense. “What the hell Batson?”

“Sorry man.” That boy was not sorry. Billy had been a close friend of Jon’s for years, but he could be a bit of a joker. “Also, uh, sorry!”

Jon scrunched his eyebrows at the second apology, noting that it definitely wasn’t for him. That was about when Jon became aware of the weird lump under his leg.

A backpack.

Shit.

“I’m so sorry.” Jon scrambled to his feet, brushing any grass or dirt off his sweatpants. He was careful for the disrupt the bag anymore than he already had.

“You should be.” The lower register voice made Jon unintentionally wince -- Please don’t start a fight right now -- He look at the person belonging to the backpack.

A guy sat on top of jacket, as if he were using it as a picnic blanket of sorts. He wore a rather comfortable looking green sweater, despite it being a nice, seventy six degree day. As Jon’s eyes traced over the figure under the sweater, taking note of how naturally tanned the guy’s skin was, leading up to the mans face and -- Oh… Oh that was a death glare if he’d ever seen one.

It was then that Jon realized he was also stepping on something, well, somethings to be exact. He took a step back and kneeled to pick up an assortment of what he was pretty sure were charcoal pencils. “Um… here.” He handed them to the guy.

This guy stared at Jon for a moment before reaching out with one color-covered hand, palm out flat. Jon dropped the pencils in the hand, being careful not to get any of whatever that ink was on his own hands. He watched as the individual organized the charcoal next to a box of what looked like oil pastels. Well, that explained the color.

“Sorry again.” Jon felt kinda sheepish. “It won’t happen again. I’ll yell at the guy who threw the ball, and uh… yell at myself for falling.”

The fellow sighed. “I didn’t think I’d be in the way when I sat here.”

“You’re not! I promise this was a one time fluke.”

Hazel eyes seemed to study Jon’s face to see if he was really sincere or not. “I’ll take your word for it.” The man then picked up a sketch book that had been resting on the grass next to him, and leaned it carefully against his knees.

Suddenly, something clicked in Jon’s head. “Oh! You’re that dude who’s always drawing here!”

“Excuse me?” The guy rose an eyebrow, and for some reason Jon suddenly felt a bit flustered.

“No I mean,” He took a step back, trying to actually think before he spoke. “I just see you here a lot. Like, during practice I’ll look and and it’s like, boom, you’re there.”

The other male let out a sigh, turning his attention away from the moronic quarterback, and back to his artwork. “I suppose I’m here often.”

“You are.” Yeah that sounds about right Kent. Tell the guy exactly how often he’s here. That’s just a fantastic idea. “I mean, well, I notice that you are.” There was an awkward bit of silence, where this other student was probably just trying to ignore Jon’s presence on that hill. Rightfully so. He was definitely just bothering the guy. “So… Do you always draw the team?”

“No.” The answer was short and simple, but one glance upward must have allowed the man to see just how painfully curious Jon was. “Sometimes I draw what’s in front of me, sometimes I draw based on assignments, sometimes I just draw whatever comes to mind first.”

“That’s so cool.” He peaked over the edge of the sketchbook once more to get a look at the work in progress. “You’re really good.”

“Thank you.”

Jon was about to open his big mouth all over again, probably to make another dumb comment, when his coach’s voice suddenly boomed over the whole field. “Kent! Stop flirting and get back over here!”

“Yes Coach!” Jon called back over his shoulder. “Uh… I’ll catch you later?”

“Perhaps.” The artist shrugged. “Goodbye, Kent.”

For some reason, that just brought a grin to the junior’s face. “It’s Jon, actually. Kent’s my last name.”

“Alright then. Goodbye, Jon.”

“Can’t I get your name first?”

The man looked up from his work with a sigh, making eye contact with the football player once more. “Damian.”

Practice ended rather uneventfully, with the usual post-training pre-game huddle Coach Stone always made them do. Supposedly it boasted moral until the more official motivational speech in the locker room, but Jon didn’t know enough about psychology to say one way or another. The members of the team started branching off, each going back to their bags to collect their things and head out. As Jon was heading back to his own bag, he looked up and noticed that the artist from before was starting to pack up his things as well.

“Hey!” Jon ran over to Damian, before the other was fully packed up. “Wait a sec.”

Damian didn’t slow as he put placed a piece of wax paper between the pages in his sketchbook, and closed it. “What do you want?”

“Are you going to the game tonight?” Jon awkwardly adjusted the strap of his gym bag over his shoulder.

Damian looked him over, then, he carefully put the sketchbook in his messenger bag. “I doubt it.”

There was a very good change that Jon looked like a kicked puppy. A pout grew on his face. Childish? Maybe. But if it works, it works. “Why not?”

The art student shrugged. “I never purchased a ticket. Besides, I’m not so interested in sports events.”

“I can get you a ticket.” H flashed a grin. “And you could just come and draw or something?”

That got a puzzled look in response. “You want me to come to your game, and not watch it?”

The quarterback shifted, rocking back onto his heels, then to his toes. “Why not? Can’t a guy want to see a pretty face in the crowd?” He studied the expression on Damian’s face, noticing the change from confusion, to what he dared to call fluster.

“How--” Damian coughed into his hand. “How will I get the ticket?”

The smile on Jon’s face would have split his head in two. “I’ll leave it at Will Call for you.”