#like the accounts are so cute and so fun and then become so violent out of nowhere

[mintaikk]

Going on those Excorcist RP blogs on Insta are so weird bcuz it'll just be like "eating ice cream with my wonderful gf😚😚" or "Pic of me training at sunset!" And then after that it'll be them holding a dead demons head while the demon's lifeless body is frozen in terror and then the caption will just be "Work day <3"

[t8oo]

By all accounts the lupin fandom has always prided itself as a drama free ship war free open to polyamory and wildly different headcanons fandom. And I can name a few people that have worked hard to keep this place very friendly. And I really started in this fandom in a friendly place. I even managed to make friends that Liked Luzeni maybe even just as much as me. I was ecstasic. I really loved those people so much, I talked to them daily. Some of them I respected so much for their craft. Great.

Id always been upfront and very clear that they were befriending someone who was fucked in the head. And i dont mean seasonal depression type I mean Bipolar and Bpd and all the symptoms it entails. Im not even going to mention the upbringing and the life ive had. All of it was a complete and violently abusive catastrophy.

Last year I exhibited symptoms that were intense. TOXIC. It didnt mean that I was toxic to my friend, because I was rational enough to know about boundaries. I was at the end of my rope. For undisclosed reasons I had to be interned. Great. During the ultimate time that lead me to become crazy, not a single person i thought was my friend gave me a hand. I received a message from one friend while I was litteraly perched on the windowsill about to jump telling me about their life. Not asking abt me. I sent some Hey thats cool but im about to kill myself and they didnt reply. Days after I was interned they told me that my message triggered them so they had to have an emergency meeting with their psychiatrist. Cool. Nothing abt me still. Sorry ? Fallout 1

During yhat whole shitstorm and despite everything a friend became my like. favorite person in bpd terms. Just really fucking embarassing shit really. I tried to prevent it, i tried to pull out not to make it worse, which not only was making it worse but was making it toxic. I aparently blew out, which of course my memory conveniently forgot. I said something ahout their partner. They never explained what. Again, after internment I apologized. They told me they needed time. They bsolutely deserved it. I was probably horrible to warrant that reaction. I might even have been toxic. Again, I do not remember what I even said. Im not a demonic entity it couldnt have been like I desacrated them and insulted them beyond repair. Even in my anger I have always been limited. But all i can do is speculate. They never explained, just took my apology. And then They never came back. That friend I liked so much that despite everything I did to control myself became a person i liked beyond wat was normal. We have had so much fun. Not enough to mend bridges or explained anything. Fallout 2

During that blow out one friend meddled, asking that other friend for information ? I asked to pass along a message to friend B. which friend A refused. Like it was not their business, even tho they were clearly invested in the business enough to talk to both of us about it lol. No problem. 4 days ago thou i confronted a group of friends that were friends As friend, for kicking them out of an rp group for no reason, even bordering on racism. My friend feels hurt about that event, has always hinted at it. it even stopped them from rping, something they did for 12 years. They had no closure and so I tried to bring it to them. Asshole move or empathic ? Thinking back i may have been taking the situation personnaly because i was already on my way out menrally. I dont know. All i know is that four days later, after i talked for hours to that group and the reason why they treated my friend so poorly that they still had scars over it, i was experiencing a mental crisis and that friend refused a request. Great. Fallout 3

The last friend litteraly stood by and said nothing. Not before the fallout and not after. I dont even know'if that counts as a fallout. This girl was so cute, so fun, so talented, so FUNNY. And when it came to a heed she said nothing. No side taking. Neutrality. Okay

At this point I no longer had anyone to talk to I think. I was documenting my attempt and the horrible conditions of the psych ward on twitter for everyone of my "friends" to see. One i particularly loved so much because they genuinely were on the same level of insanity related to luzeni made a tweet about the late hystix, a person i did not know but a lot of the lupin fandom did. A beautiful soul that was always supportive and kind. Everyone was mourning her. It was truly heartbreaking. I hope she is in peace. Our attempts matched in timing, it was actually mindblowing. Mine just fucking failed because of nosy neighbors. I feel so close to her in spirit still. That we both struggled so much that we came to the conclusion that nothing could save us. She did not have the nosy neighbors. That friend mourned her publicly.. on twitter. Ok. Logical, its a depressing, horrible and sad situation all around. All we can do is mourn. Still, it was a friend I was genuinely close to. That never showed the empathy they did to me. Hey dude so im kind of facing the exact same issues but you never reached out ? While my torment was there and documented on twitter because again. I did not fucking know wat was going on. I was in a strict mental ward under a lot of dosage from nurses who refused to give me insulin even thou i was type 1. Friend said that they tweeted at me. No mention of the years and years of discussions we had on discord and me checking up on them everytime they pulled out for severe family matters and i was genuinely concerned. Nope they aparently tweeted something at me. Okay. Thank you for the concern. Your investment really shows. Fallout 4

after that I stopped friends all together. The fact that friends I was talking nigh on everyday to each revealed their lack of concern for me during an extreme mental health crisis was abyssmal to say the least.

Fallout 5 came with Sheen. I was managing a charity zine for Palestine, and the lack of investment from so many artists brought me to the edge. I took it out on Sheen in the softest way possible. I told them I was disapointed in their piece and that it looked low effory. Sheen, a person I had knwon for the entirety of my investment in the lupin fandom, decided that an offense was enough to block me and never speak again. Once again i was on the verge of yet another blow out. And it happened. Lol. Its just so funny in retrospect that everytime I start acting weird alluding to a breakdown people shun me out despite, you know. me being clear abt my medical record. I realized that I was rude to Sheen and it was uncalled for. Apologized publicly not in the attempt that Sheen sees it but just so that everyone knows that if they hear abt the story, at least they know its all been my fault. Online friendships are so cool because it just takes the block button to burn bridges without coming back. With no chance of mending or at least a genuine apology. so Fallout 5

Is there a reason that all of these issues happened within one fandom ? I do think so. Unless i am incredibly unlucky. Or an abusive piece of shit unbeknownst to me. I think that the lupin fandom is surface level niceties. If they dont like you you will know. It will be passive but you will be muted and eventually just ostracized. You will not be invited in fandom events, or group discussions. It did not help that my mental health was constantly deteriorating and I started developping a persecution complex, thinking that people were making secret discords where they were telling others to avoid me or something. Ive endured all of this for one thing. One Humiliating thing : i love luzeni. I love it so much I want a tatto of it. I love it so much that after years before sleep I pick a random fic and then imagine their discussions. I love their dynamic so much. I love their romance I love how fucking inhinged they are i love that they hurt and love each other the same, i love that they cant live without the other, that they genuinely complete each other in a really ugly but complete patchwork of mental illness and really elaborate kinks.

I gave up thou. Another depression, I blew out, attempted again with the window, got caught and sent to the hospital. It pulled me back from the fandom. I realized i was allocating so much of my thoughts to it and how I could be better perceived, how I could make friends again to talk about the fictional thing i loved the most in the world. And I realized that in giving up and keeping to myself, that I could be more stable. That the damage was done and I cant really enjoy this fandom anymore, but Im still attached to the hip to luzeni and so in the words of a really brilliant man... Nah... Ill do my own thing.

U might be wondering why the hell is this bitch airing their laundry publicly. Its therapeutic. You dont have to read or care. If those friends see it, and make a comment of their own about how the events did NOT happen like I told, I would love to hear how they perceived it. I do not give my friendship freely and easily and these people have done profound damage to my abilty to trust. And most of all, I never had any closure. I kept rethinking, blaming them, then myself, then miscommunication, then them and then myself again. To this day I dont know why all of this happend. Did I act like an unfathomable monster, or did my friend simply not give a shit enough to help me through this. I dont fucking know and I cant deny either options. Maybe I am talking through a completely selfish wrapped sens of perception that is not to be trusted. I wouldnt be surprised. I have a very hard time relying on my own brain lately. My health is deteriorating very fast, and shit is getting worse.

The second reason is that I am going to be interned for psychiatric issues for the next 3 months. For the first time in my life I think Ill finally get all the professional support i need, available and close. Im not going to be investing any time in the fandom, if simply talking to the psychiatrist abt this catastrophic strings of fallouts. I might be posting some luzenis, but frankly i doubt it. I only make fanart when I am happy, or sad enough but still capable. Im neither right now. You are not entitled to any of these informations, but I just wanted to write them out of my mind because I have a LOT of baggage to go on through and this is an extra bag I dont need so im throwing it out.

You cannot gauge an entire fandom from your perspective, the same way you cannot gauge an entire userbase. No, tiktokers are not the worst people in humanity. Neither are reddit users. Being on tumblr is cool, but it doesnt make u better than being on twitter. And so this is only my opinion of the lupin fandom. I met some amazing persons that i wish the best for, for ever and ever, but in all the niceties and welcoming you might see, I dont think that extends to a person with mental illnesses that are villified, or out of their control. I can fairly say that my experience was disapointing, and I dont intend to rekindle anything. Ill just be on the fringe maintaining the spirit of luzeni alive because fuck you monkey punch these are my characters now by law.

If you read until this bro get a life. Also im joking, youv given me more consideration than most people i met have. If your take after this is that I am deranged, then youv read right.

Thank you for reading. This blog has always been a pleasure to post on, even my most cringe and embarassing shippy stuff. Ive been met with nothint but support, and I truly enjoy being here because of you. I hope this isnt a 3+ month long goodbye. I hope I draw my lovers again. But I cant guarantee anything. I wish you all health most of all, and love and compassion.

[tozettastone]

Whats your ranking on akatsuki ships, partnered or otherwise?

I contemplated doing this ranking with all of the most common Akatsuki related ships but there were over 20 without even counting the OFCs and Reader fics. There were 4 Sakura pairings alone LOL. So I'll do a partner ship ranking I think.

I know that when they did this same ranking earlier today, @mixelation accounted for how the fandom treated these ships in their rankings. But I am ranking based on what dynamics I think these ships could deliver me. I'm not judging by what fandom actually gave me. I'm measuring with my ✨heart.✨

6. Orochimaru/Sasori

I cannot imagine this as a sexual or romantic ship, but I can admire the sheer amount of psychic damage these men would do through pure pettiness. This is really two dramatic judgemental bitches leaving no survivors. So that's fun, right? But as a ship? Nah.

5. Konan/Pein

I understand the canon basis for this ship but I am not very interested in either of these characters and they are not improved by proximity.

4. Sasori/Deidara

They're both cute and their philosophies are completely opposed. However, I think Sasori's regard for Deidara is not really articulated in canon and it's hard to imagine him having positive feelings about him? I don't think there's anything really interesting to chew on here, personally? It's like arguing and not much else, to me. It's an aesthetically pleasing pairing but the character dynamic is not compelling me.

3. Deidara/Tobi

Incomprehensible but at least I can see that Obito enjoys baiting Deidara and Deidara shows curiosity about Tobi. You can build a ship from the ground up if the characters are interested in drawing a reaction out of each other. I can see Obito getting attached and becoming extremely weird about it, which is always a plus. Obito has the canonical Uchiha problem of really imprinting on his precious people so I think it could end up being quite fun if written from an "Obito is erratic and unwell and Deidara is just beginning to realise he's bitten off more than he can chew," perspective. Good ship vibes.

2. Itachi/Kisame

Nobody writes this ship as a Kisame, who hates lies, deceiving himself about the character of Itachi, whose entire acquaintanceship with him is based on a lie, and I understand that this is extremely complicated to manage from a character perspective. In my heart this is a complicated relationship between a guilty and increasingly sick Itachi who can't quite dedicate himself fully to his partner, and a wilfully (as opposed to medically) blind Kisame who absolutely can.

Anyway, we love a ship that features a giant toothy violent dude whose leash is very loosely held by a consumptive teenager who is, deceptively, capable of equal or greater violence.

Also, service top Kisame. Like... yeah?? Obviously. I'm into that.

1. Hidan/Kakuzu

I am predictable. Everyone knows what I'm like about Hidan and Kakuzu. They are spouses who slay together. S-tier pairing. I have written... so... much... about... them....

[honeylikesyanderes]

Hiiii honey! I hope your having a fantastic day! If You want to answer then could I request yandere karma with a shy timid cute smart/nerdy s/o? They are intelligent but they don’t have friends so he doesn’t really need to manipulate them but they are both still in class e and teenagers so you know bullies and stuff and he’s just clingy and protective of them? Feel free to take your time or ignore bye bye!

hi my love!!

hmm i like your idea anon

i'm just gonna make this a highschool au!

karma and darling are both 18

that being said:

hope you enjoy!

18+ minors dni (like fr, there's violence and blood in this)

gender neutral reader/darling

likes and reblogs are highly appreaciated

if there’s something i missed or something that you're still curious about, feel free to send me another ask!

-------------------------------------------------------

karma as a teenager is a bit different from karma as an adult

he's less quiet and a bit more impulsive

but he's still very very charming

kinda like a boyish charm

karma is very popular in high school

especially since its a private school and everyone knows how influential his family is

he's still a lot more mature than his peers

that being said

assuming that darling is the shy intelligent type, teen! karma would be sooo into it-

i think his yandere tendencies with a shy darling would just start off as him being protective

he might not acknowledge that he's a yandere at this time

he might just assume that he's 'protecting someone who can't protect themselves'

then down the line, he gets to know you

and he falls so hard.

you're perfect.

everything he's ever wanted.

so he becomes even more protective

and more clingy

he follows you everywhere

and where he cant follow you, he's either sending bhodi or his sister to follow you.

and when they cant follow you everywhere, our dear karmichael gets an idea.

concealed cameras.

karma has always been tech savvy

so making tiny concealed cameras were a breeze.

(he attached them to your bag and phone when you weren't looking)

a few days after he installs the cameras, he realises that he needs to hear your conversations as well!

he doesn't want any boys asking his beloved out ofc

so after pulling an all-nighter

he created tiny concealed mics!

(he also attached them to your phone and bag when you weren't looking)

(you should really pay attention more to your surroundings darling.)

karma observes you through the cameras

<they're connected to his phone fyi>

btw teen karma is pretty violent towards bullies.

anyone that makes you feel bad for being intelligent/ a nerd?

they come to school with their head bashed in.

someone talking to you in a disrespectful manner cause they know you're shy and you wont say anything back?

they're suddenly seen wearing turtlenecks everyday for the next month.

(rumour says that they have handprints on their neck from an attempted strangulation)

another person touches you in any way without your explicit consent?

they come to school with the arm (or both arms) that they used to touch you spontaneously broken.

a love rival confesses to you even tho youre already his?

they randomly start vomiting blood in 5th period.

(karma's sister is good with poisons)

if darling is a scholarship student and someone makes fun of them for being less advantaged,

karma will report their parents company for tax evasion/fraud/embezzlement/money laundering

this will cause their accounts and assests to be frozen

and they will become paupers overnight.

then it becomes clear to the entire school.

dont fuck with y/n unless you're willing to face the consequences.

darling on the other hand knows that karma is behind the punishments given to their antis

(its kinda obvious, lets be honest)

and they don't mind it too much

they do beg karma to be a little less mean with the punishments

but teen karma is very stubborn, yet still very charming

so he'll manage to convince you that being mean is for the best

cause rich teenagers are dicks.

and they deserved to be treated as such.

basically, teen karma with a shy intelligent darling is basically just karma showing his true nature over and over again.

he's ruthless, unforgiving towards offenders and he is the judge, jury and executioner.

[mr-leach]

I had a dream last night where the premise was "what is the funniest party of 4 combo of Baldur's Gate 3 companions to throw into Curse of Strahd" and my subconscious decided on Astarion, Karlach, Shadowheart, and Lae'zel

Astarion is the obvious choice but specifically in my dream this was post BG3 and apparently Cazador hadn't been dealt with?? Like wherever Tav may be they're apparently a fucking cunt who didn't help free the poor bastard. So he was understandably miserable and scared and very cranky on account of becoming violently ill any time he tried to feed on animal blood. I didn't get far enough into the dream to figure out how they dealt with this but I could see it getting ugly real fast.

Karlach was a mean choice I feel like. I mean I can see the first week or so being fun for her cause she gets to help people who need helping and kill a bunch of evil creatures and in that sense she'd be having the time of her life, and thus it would be very funny! But also like. Trapping her in another realm of death and misery and telling her she can never leave? Don't make me think about it I'll cry

Shadowheart is another obvious choice tbh. Provider of snarky commentary and snide remarks a plenty, naturally she would have a field day in a place like Barovia. She had black hair in my dream so I assume she was still big on Shar. The dread realms are supposedly located in a deep corner of the shadowfell so tbh she would probably be sitting pretty. EXCEPT FOR THE WOLVES GODDAMN IT. Seriously, what was my subconscious on. Evil.

Lae'zel is the only true pure comedic choice my brain came up with tbh. Barovia is just as alien as everywhere else to her, foul beasts and undead are no doubt regrettable to encounter but not nearly as troubling or foul than mindflayers and other illithid horrors, and then most of the horrible shit going on in Barovia would be so inconsequential to her that at most she would be just a passive commentator to some of the most gruesome shit ever and then add her two cents like "RIP to Mordenkainan but I'm built different" "idk if it were me I think I'd just kill Vargas and put his severed head on display in the town square to send a message" and aside from really wanting to leave she would have so little stake in anything going on. Dark powers won't even fuck with her cause she's highly trained to resist manipulation and on that note Strahd would seem like such a loser to her. Wait you were a formidable conqueror and renowned warrior and you did what? Extremely cringe dude, couldn't be me.

Anyway I don't remember a whole lot from the dream tbh aside from the premise deliberately trying to be as funny as possible and the party members that were chosen. I think Astarion got sick from eating spider blood and Karlach had to carry him into town. There was some silly stuff about the Barovian citizens having no idea what Gith were, Lae'zel having no social skills, and Shadowheart providing "cultural translation" so they wouldn't get chased out for every extremely off colour thing Lae'zel said. It got very dicey but Karlach was cute and charming enough to make up for how much the rest of the party unsettled everyone.

[hime-memes]

                    * Danny Gonzales Sentence Starters *

God, I’ve been watching Danny’s content since the vine era and he’s super fun & goofy in his youtube videos, so I’ve compiled a list of dialogue starters from a couple different videos he’s uploaded. 

As always: These have been modified for cohesive and sensical use. Feel free to change anything within these that you see fit to make it work for your muse & the receiver’s muse !

Recommended For: Any muses/plots/timelines.

Trigger Warnings For: Swearing & slight innuendo.

“ I keep seeing this dude on tiktok who’s pretending to be a vampire, using special effects ... and, like, everyone believes him ! “ “ ... or you know, everyone would be thirsting over him because he’s a boy, and ... he’s not ... wearing a shirt. Or, he is -- he’s just wearing it wrong. “ “ ‘ He could actually be a vampire & no one would know ! ‘, uh, no, he couldn’t. He could not ... because vampires aren’t real ! “ “ Imagine if vampires really were real and this is how we found out ? From sorta like a thirst trappy tiktok of a guy just casually being like: ‘ Oh, I heard we were showing off our teeth ... Here’s mine ! ‘. “  “ What if they had to put this picture in every history book form now on ? " “ So, this is when we found out vampires existed, they’ve been around for thousands of years and we didn’t find out until this guy made a tiktok video without his shirt on ... because he wanted to show off his teeth. “  “ Still to this day it is the only evidence that we have of vampires, but I mean, you can’t dispute this ! “  “ Look, I don’t believe this yet, alright ? I’m not that stupid ... but, I swear to god, if you do this one more time -- I will believe you, I’m serious ! Post one more edited tiktok of you showing your fangs & I will spend the rest of my life believing vampires are real. “ “ ... and it’s not because you’re cute either; I don’t wanna kiss. I’m gonna spend the rest of my life trying to track you down and impale you with a wooden stake ! “  “ I like that he’s not just a vampire, he’s a cocky vampire ! “ “ Watching everyone I love die time and time again because I’m an immortal ageless being ... drifting through time becoming further convinced that nothing matters and life doesn’t mean anything because I sold my soul to the devil 200 years ago ??? Uh, it’s ya boy ! “  “ I like to think about this one and what it would look like without the effect. “ “ He jumps over his house ... so, don’t skip leg day ! “  “ I know a lot of people commenting on these tiktoks saying they think they’re real are either joking, or are literally one year old. ” “ I don’t think his intention was to deceive people into thinking vampires were real ... “ “ Welcome back to another episode of how to be a bad boy ! “ “ Don’t worry if you’re not a boy, because this applies to anybody ! You don’t have to be a boy to be a bad boy ! “ “ Bad Boys ... who doesn’t love a bad boy, am I right ? I mean, they’re strong, masculine, angry, violent ... what’s not to love ?! “ “ His IG stories are full of the worst, most painful to watch cringe tiktoks from super obscure accounts. “ “ I’ve noticed this uptick in bad boys. “  “ That’s a great question: Why do good girls like bad guys ? “ “ I mean, look at this dude: He’s clear bad as all heck ! “  “ One moment, you think he’s a doctor and the next moment he’s just a normal dude ? In normal clothes ? What the fuck happened to him ?! “ “ This is a bad boy right here guys, this doctor doesn’t play by the rules. “  “ I would not want this doctor to be my doctor cause he is a bad boy ! You can tell because his hair isn’t as neat as it was when he was just a doctor ... and he’s wearing a ring with a skull on it ! “ “ It’s possibly the skull of one of his patients who died because he was too busy making tiktoks to operate on them. “ “ What’s the opposite of swooning ? I just did the opposite of whatever swooning is ... “  “ Okay, so it looks like there’s this nerd and we’re roleplaying as his girlfriend, who left him or something to be with somebody else ? “ “ What could you possible have to show me that could change my mind now, you little dweeb ... that I used to date for some reason ... ? “ “ Now he’s some kind of ... kind of ... well, I don’t know what he is, but he looks different now ! “ “ Alright, it’s time to make her jealous ... “ “ Well ... look at me now. I’m a vampire ... so ... I bet you’re jealous of that ! “ “ Oh, you think I want you back now ? Well, I got news for you, bitch: I’m immortal & I can turn into a bat ! “ “ What is he at the beginning ?! An old man or a very stressed teen ?! “ “ Is this a tiktok or is this the plot of an early 2000s rom-com ? ” “ One day his silly old ass tripped into the fountain of youth ... “ “ I’ve fallen for you, ( and I can’t get up ). Coming this summer ! “  “ Did you just dress like an idiot all the time on purpose ? “  “ You think I’m a wrinkly old man ? Guess what bitch - I’m a greaser form the 1950s ! “  “ Are you just intentionally looking like shit to get her to break up with you ? “ “ ... Because nothing wins back girls like saying something badass really quietly into a microphone because you’re scared someone will you ! “  “ The bad boys on tiktok have values ! ... and one of those values is protecting women. “  “ He looks like he’s got absolutely no joint mobility ! “ “ Everyone knows that the badder the boy you are, the more your walk looks like a fuckin’ whomp, from Mario 64 ! “ “ It’s funny how this whole video was about respecting women, but then his girlfriend gets in the way and he’s like: ‘ Fuck off, babe ! I gotta go fight this asshole ! I have to protect your honor, babe. So, how ‘bout you get the fuck out of my way, you dumb bitch ’. “ “ This would be kind of menacing, if this dude wasn’t wearing the cutest tiny little cast on his pinky finger ! “  “ Dude are you really in any condition to be protecting women ? “  “ What the fuck ? This dude just barked ?! “  “ If you push a girl, you can catch these hands by all means. “  “ You couldn’t think of any less gruesome way to take care of this ? “ “ What are you ? A horror villain form the 80s ?! “ “ I don’t know what it is about grown men lip-syncing and then punching the air because they’re so mad ... “ “ The phrase ‘ asswhoopin’ in the parking lot ‘, I don’t know it just sounds like you’re not beating someone up, you’re just ... spanking them. “  “ You’re just, like, at the club - minding your own business and you accidentally bump into the girl standing next to you, and her boyfriend puts his hand on your shoulder and you turn around, and it’s fuckin’ Justin from Wizards of Waverly Place ... wearing what can only be described as the upper body version of a loin cloth ... ? “  “ He’s got that ‘ whispering because I’m recording a tiktok in my room and don’t want my parents to know ‘ vibe. “  “ Then he strangles you ? Is ... is that how you make a deal with the devil ? “  “ Is this, like, a sexual thing, or -- ? ... No one knows, it’s just what I do ! “  “ ... What I don’t understand is this creepy laugh followed immediately by that very weird moan. “  “ In what way is this supposed to be appealing to me as the viewer ? ”   “ I just feel like if I were a girl ... If that’s what this is guy is into: I mean, girls or guys ... demons or imps ? I don’t know what he’s into ! “ “ I feel like if we got into any small argument, he’d Darth Vader my ass ! Strangle me and then lift me up in the air by my throat ... just because I didn’t want to go to Chili’s™ ... “

[treysimp]

Violent Delights (Part 1)

GN!Reader/Yandere!Cater Diamond (Explicit)

Part 1 (This Part!) // Part 2 // Part 3 (Coming Soon)

Well, I tricked myself into another one lads. Pour one out for me thinking that I can control myself around anime boys. This might end up having at least a part two because I am a mess.

Tags: smut, yandere, masturbation, unhealthy behavior, obsessive behavior, reader's body not described nor are pronouns used.

Want more twst? Here's my masterlist!

It felt like fate, really. 

His life had been black and white, monotone and bleak. It was a constant game of hiding his feelings, and his intentions, masking every thought with a giggle and a smile. 

It was like a game, but not a fun one. The kind of game you get stuck playing to keep someone else distracted long enough to pass the time with less idle conversation. A distraction. Not an unwanted one, just bland, boring, and mostly useless.

That was until you burst into his life. 

At first glance, you did seem so normal. 

There was nothing that clearly set you apart from any other Night Raven student. You were cute of course, there was no denying that. However, as soon as Cater saw the ripple effect that your arrival had on the school as a whole, his idle interest turned into fascination.

Life was finally worth paying attention to. The lifeless day-to-day he had been trudging through his whole life had become a flurry of color and excitement. It was fascinating and exhilarating, and somehow you were always at the center of it. 

A person probably couldn't get into more trouble if they tried. You were constantly making enemies and friends. The poor magic-less Prefect of the Ramshackle Dorm always seemed to tangle themselves into yet another carefully constructed web of lies, resentment and deceit on the daily. Your action ultimately unraveling even the most carefully designed plots.

Cater was thinking of you constantly. Wondering what you were doing, who you were talking to, wishing that you were talking to him instead. 

He found himself idly checking your MagiCam account for updates whenever he had nothing to do. His fingers would automatically type in your username to see if you had posted something new in the last five minutes. 

Whenever you add another gorgeous snapshot of you and your infectious smile, your sardonic sense of humor, he felt hypnotized. He would stare at the ways your eyes crinkle when you smiled, the way you knitted your brows in disapproval in candid shots, and how you covered your mouth with your hand to hide your laughter during a particularly chaotic moment. Heavenly, all of it was.

He was the first to admit that whatever these feelings could truly be called, they weren’t a good look. If someone else heard all of the thoughts that passed through his head they would wonder what was wrong with him. That was okay, he only needed you. He had decided to call these feelings ‘love’, regardless of what anyone else might think. It was romantic after all, like a fairy tale.  

Daily, he would regularly spend time obsessing about how he would ‘accidentally’ run into you today. Luckily for him, you spent a lot of time with his underclassmen, so you were in Heartslabyul often. Unluckily for him, you knew his underclassmen and they were the reason you visited so often. 

He restrained a frown when he would see one of tweedle-dumb and tweedle-dumber touch you, or call your name too familiarly, or look at you too long, or talk to you for more than a minute at a time. No one else knew that you two were soulmates yet, but that’s okay because he did. 

Cater had devoted his time memorizing your habits, likes and dislikes. It would be worth it when you had a bad day and he could surprise you with your favorite dessert, when you were sad he would know exactly why, and someday he would buy you every gift you had your eye on, just to prove that he knew you so well.

One day he noticed that you weren’t using your favorite pencil to write. Your pen strokes were less sure and steady and your brows knit into a frown of concentration. 

Thankfully he prepared for these kinds of eventualities. 

Cater silently walked behind your seated form, holding a pencil identical to your favorite in hand. Kneeling down to the ground and then pretending to pick the pencil back up with an audible clatter, he quietly cleared his throat to get your attention.

“Did you drop this, Prefect?” He asked, extending the pencil to you. You had lost this pencil the other day, left it somewhere probably. That was okay though, he was here for you.

Your eyes lit up when you saw your pencil, gently taking it from Cater's hand.

“Oh my gosh! I thought I had lost this! Thank you for picking it up.” Your smile was sweet and breathtaking. 

Cater felt himself reaching to stroke your cheek, but he was able to divert his hand to clap you on the shoulder at the last second instead. 

“Any time! You know I’ve got you!” Cater said with a wink. 

He took the opportunity of his hand being so near your head to mess up your hair and laugh at your grumbles of dissatisfaction and half-hearted attempts to swat his hand away. Despite all of this, you were still smiling.

“I know, Cater. Thank you.” 

Cater gave you a final ‘yeah, yeah’ while he walked away, covering his face with a sleeve to hide the flush that had spread from his nose to his ears. 

You were something else. It was too early to tell you that he loved you, but it was getting harder to resist every day. He just needed to bide his time for the perfect moment. 

You deserve no less.

Any time he was lucky enough to get a glimpse of you in the halls he felt like his breath was taken away, every other person and thing dimming from his view as if a spotlight had shone itself on you and you alone. His heart would beat like crazy the whole time, but he had to take the opportunity to talk to you. Missing a single second of your attention seemed unthinkable. 

Today you had done something different to your hair and something else was implacably off about you as well. It looked like you tried to look nice for someone. 

Shoving down the stab of fear and anger that thought elicited from him, he knew he needed to go say hi. Cater had no idea why you looked so gorgeous today, but you were truly perfect. He knew that you wouldn’t betray your future love like that, he was just overthinking it. Clearly, there was a reasonable explanation.  

Plastering on a smile, Cater ran up behind you, swinging an arm around your shoulders as he snapped as many pictures of your surprised face as he could manage. 

How could he help it? You were just so cute.

"Smile for the cam!" He giggled, taking the opportunity to quickly peck on your cheek for the photo op. He was going to save this one in particular.

You yelped but quickly settled back into laughter as you played along with him and mirrored his pose. After he stopped snapping pics, you turned towards him and poked him in the side. 

"Cater!" You admonished him, crossing your arms and lips forming into a pout "You scared me!"

"Aww, but you look so cute when you're scared! How can I resist?" He replied, scrolling through the tens of pictures he took and sorting them into 'good', 'okay', and 'delete'. 

Cater's bright gaze flicked back up to you with a wink, reveling in the way your own eyes slightly widened at his action. 

You slapped him on the arm, pursing your lips and smoothing your hair back into place. 

Cater arched a brow, maybe you were trying to look good for something after all. 

“You’re looking extra done up today, finally decided to confess to me?” He teased, praying in his heart that the answer was ‘yes’. 

He knew you would never admit that though. You were far too shy to make the first move on him, and that was another reason he trusted you so much. Even if another pretty face caught your eye, you wouldn’t be the one coming onto them. He just needed to look out for anyone that got the silly idea in their brain that they were allowed to come on to you. 

"You're such a tease." You said, sticking out your tongue at him and crossing your arms. “Crowley is forcing me to tour some VIPs on the campus later today, and he told me that if I ‘stopped looking like Cinderella’s cleaning rag’ he would add a good chunk of Thaumarks to my food budget for the month.” You said with a sigh, voice leaking out the bitterness you felt at being forced to play a chipper student that wasn’t forced to comply by circumstance. 

While Cater had felt a wash of relief in his heart upon hearing the very practical reason you dressed up, he also had lost his brain in a dreamy fugue upon peeking at the soft muscle of your tongue. Thinking about all the things you could do with said tongue made him bite his lip. You really had no idea what you did to him, huh?

"Is that so?" He said with a smirk, taking the opportunity to poke you in the ribs in the same spot you had jabbed him. "Then how about we go somewhere this weekend? Just you and me? It sounds like you need a break." 

"Oh, like a date?" You teased, slowly evolving your pokes into an all-out poking war as you and Cater giggled trying to dodge the movements of the other. “Are you confessing to me?” You threw back coyly, imitating the same intonation he had used just a moment earlier.

"If you want it to be a date, I guess I could consider telling you about my undying love." Cater said, not joking in the slightest.

You seemed to still for a moment in thought. After a split second of staring a bit too deeply into Cater’s glimmering green eyes, as if searching for something, you forced yourself to stare at a far away cobblestone instead as you answered with a wavering voice.

"Might as well?" You hadn’t meant it as a question, but it came out as one.

Cater all out squealed as he pulled you into a bone-crushing hug. Just as quickly as he glommed himself onto you, he released you in a dizzyingly burst of conflicting energy, eyebrows furrowed at the face of his watch. He was suddenly reminded that he had a class to get to (sadly) and while he didn’t mind being late for class, he would feel bad if you got in trouble because he was distracting you. 

He had briefly reconsidered this thought process in the beginning as he wanted to offer to tutor you, but you were doing well in school on your own, and if you get detention all that did was take more time out of your day that he could be potentially spending with you. 

Even if it was just you, your little firstie-friends, and himself being quiet in the lounge, as long as you could be near him, it was worth it. Once again shaking that tangent from his mind, Cater grabbed your hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze before he began running down the hallway, yelling over his shoulder at you before he got too far.

"I'll text you the deets, 'kay? Come by my room later!" Cater hollers as he takes off at a full sprint for his next class.

You stood in the hallway feeling stunned. You could feel that your face was burning, your eyes felt defocused and glassy and you nervously wring your hands together, looking down at where Cater’s hand had touched yours just a second prior.

"...a real date?" You mumbled aloud, hugging your arms around yourself in flustered nervousness. He was just being friendly like he was with everyone... right?

Cater's heart was beating out of his chest. Not only was he able to touch you multiple times and in multiple places today, but you had also agreed to a date AND to visit his room. 

He had initially run off to go to class, but the incessant beating of his heart and burning of his body alerted him to another problem he had to address before anyone noticed.

Spotting the nearest lavatory, he stepped inside, intentionally slowing his gait and trying to catch his breath to be as inconspicuous as possible. Taking a beat, he saw no one and heard nothing. Perfect.

Slipping into an empty stall, he closed the latch as quickly as his shaking hands could allow. Biting his lip to the point it risked breaking skin, he unbuckled his belt and flipped his phone open. His gaze was met with the pictures he had just taken of the two of you in the hall. Your mouth was making a flattering little ‘O’ in surprise to the cheek kiss he had been able to plant on you. 

Your skin was so soft under his lips. You smelled like the earth after the rain and freshly bloomed lavender in the spring. 

Being so close to you was addicting. By the time you had escalated to playfully poking him, he had to consciously keep every muscle in his body coiled tight to keep from touching every inch of you he could.

He wondered how the rest of you would feel under his hands, what sounds you would make, and what words you would say. He imagined you saying his name, breathless between hurried kisses and shivering from need as he pulled every garment from your body.

Pulling himself out of his boxer briefs with a hiss, it was clear that he was painfully hard. Beginning to softly tease and stroke the skin of the head of his dick, Cater shivered slightly while imagining that it was you doing it. 

You would look shyly up your lashes as you repeatedly asked him ‘is that okay?’ or ‘does that feel good?' and he would nod in agreement while placing his hand over yours to make you go faster, grip tighter. 

Biting his lip as he scrolled through more photos he had taken of the two of you, he paused on one that had caught you with your shirt partially unbuttoned, clavicle exposed, looking so so perfect to sink his teeth into. 

He imagined gripping his hand around your neck to restrict your breathing as he dug bruises into your skin with his mouth, groaning at how good he was making you feel and how much you loved him. Loved him more than anyone. He felt the same, he loved you more than everyone, and everyone else needed to know that too before they got any funny ideas in their heads.

His hand had sped up to a messy beat. 

In a moment of desperation, he pulled the collar of his dress shirt into his mouth to stifle his moans. He felt the coil inside of him grow tighter and tighter, his legs shook, his arm cramped, and then relief came in a burst of bliss so strong that he was seeing stars behind his lids. 

It felt good, but he knew that it was nothing compared to you.

Wrinkling his nose as he wiped his release off of his hand, Cater threw the paper in the toilet and flushed. 

Slowly tucking his tender length back in his pants, he fixed his clothes and washed his hands, mentally making a list of what he needed to prepare for your visit tonight and your ‘date’ on the weekend.

He was going to do anything to have you. He was going to do everything it took to make those dreams a reality if it killed him.

This fic was inspired by the incredibly hot fanart below.

Please give @simpingseafood a like or a reblog (or a million compliments) if you are so inclined, they deserve it!

(Also I hope you don't mind me brain-rotting at length over your gorgeous concept!)

Thank you so much for reading! Love you, reader!

Requested tags: @readinganas, @yandere-kou, @buckketboy, @aikochan4859, @kumiko-desu @star-gods, @sarahyumiko2, @sappyisyourpappy, @rosalie-in-twisted-wonderland, @naniky, @kashasenpai, @the-mermaid-of-the-stars

And @ravenlutionary (because you seemed excited at the prospect haha)

[sailorhyunjinz]

Do you write yandere? If so, can I request skz yandere headcanons on how they would react when S/O rejects them because she doesn't wanna deal with whole drama that would come with dating an idol?

i mean kinda?? i have a seungmin yandere fic in my drafts sooo BUT YEAH

oh also, requests are not open but im just gonna do this one cause headcanons are kinda fun BUT REQUESTS ARE CLOSED <33

also why is the felix one so short-

Warnings; yandere!skz, rejection, k-dnapping, slight gaslightning or like manipulation, restraints, threats, aggression, mentions of masturbation, stockholm syndrome

Chan

nobody rejects him. nobody.

you two were friends from school and you were sooo happy when chan made it as an idol, finally persuing the dream he had been yapping on about for years. 

but in the midst of that he realized that he had feelings for you, he missed you all the time, just wanting to hang out with you and maybe explore the things he had on his mind. so,, he decided to confess when you guys were at a cafe.

“look y/n,,, there’s something I wanna tell you” he started to which you tilted your head

“nooo,,, are you guys going on a tour again,,, i wil miss you sooo much channie” you said with a pout but the boy shook his head.

“i like you y/n” 

your mouth stood agape, this was not what you expected and truthfully,,, not what you wanted. 

“chan,,, y-you know thats not possible” you said with a frown, looking at him straight ahead.

“of course it is,,, why wouldn’t it be? w-what are you trying to say y/n?!” his voice started growing louder, you looking around in order to see that people werent turning their heads towards your table. 

Minho

you have made a big big mistake my friend- 

wont even hesitate to keep you hostage in his basement LIKE IM NOT JOKING-

might just tie you up and like,,, not even do anything to you, just talk to you and admire you, maybe tracing your facial features and cuddle closer on the cold floor

just wants to keep you as a pet or smth and you are scared out of your mind cause you cant move cause of the restraints, you cant speak because you have silvertape across your lips that he only removes to feed you but if you start screaming you wont get any so you deicde to just stay calm and quiet before someone saves you and play along. 

i mean you do,,, kinda fall for him but you know you cant,, but you cant help but to fall for him and miss him whenever he’s out on schedule things

he always returns to you and you get so happy when you see the little crevice of light from outside when he opened the basement door

whenever he lies next to you, you put your head against his shoulder and take in his scent the best you can

he told you everyday that he would let you go if you agreed to date him but you shook your head,, maybe cause you liked being his prey. 

Changbin

he’s more of the threatening type of yandere,,, like,, not that he’s violent but if you try to block his number he will create new ones and keep on sending you messages about how you have betrayed him and how he wished that you loved him back and all that,,,,

you guys often meet because you go to the same college and are students in the same department sooo,,,, avoiding him is pretty impossible 

he stares a lot at you,,, you guys have a couple of classes together and he just stares the entire time, his eyes are just filled with revenge, he somehow wants you make you his, own you but he doesnt know how yet, for now he can just look.

watch this fucking message conversation just be this;

[why did you talk to him during class?]

[you could have just asked me]

[nobody loves you like i do. no one y/n]

you are never getting rid of him basically,,

he’s gonna get to you first ;))

Hyunjin

i feel like he goes more to the stalking route than the kidnapping and drugging and whatnot- 

ok,,, you rejected him,,, but that doesnt mean you’re getting rid of him.

ohmygod what if he turns into a peeping tom- cause he obviously knows where you live. 

like yall were not even that close?? he just saw you backstage at one of the concerts and thought you looked good so he decided to go up to, you werent an idol so no problem he thought.

but he gets a bit too,, hasty with his decisions and often falls for people randomly and so when he politely greeted you and gave you his number you simply shook your head, explaining that this wouldn’t be possible since you worked in the same industry and you needed to stay clear out of any scandals in order to keep your job. 

no was not answer in Hyunjins mind. 

luckily he managed to catch your full name by flickering through some papers in an office and also saw your full adress there, knowing exactly what he was going to do on his free time. 

Jisung

if im being completely honest,,, i have no idea-

like,,, he gives me kinda pervy yandere vibes,,,

what if youre like his ex before he became an idol and now he wants to get back together with you-

oh,,, he masturbates to your pictures-

i feel like he always thinks about you, wondering what you like and wants to write songs about you but he doesnt do much-

but when he finds out that you have been hired by the same company as him to work as a like,,, economics accountant thingy he is all of a sudden vEEERY interested-

always asking the manager of when the group will have meetings with the accounting team,,, although they had nothing to do with them-

he just wanted to be in a conference room with you (and think pervy things about you in your tight office skirt and white blouse)

you went to the toilet on day and you saw him lurking around the same floor,,, WHICH ONCE AGAIN WAS NOT CONNECTED TO THE GROUP AT ALL- 

and idk,,, probably sneaks in with you and locks the door before you even react that theres someone else in the toilet- 

i feel like he’s pretty mild,,, but when he’s alone with you he is aggressive broooo

probably pins you to the wall and threatens you or smth along those lines,,,,,

(writing this is what my life has become to-)

Felix

“what do you think you’re doing?”

you turn around again, you had just thought of just leaving with a vague answer to his question but he was not having it. 

“answer.” 

his words sounded cold, his dark voice making an entrace, the exact one you’ve heard on many of the songs you listened to.

“felix,,, you have to understand,,, u-um,, if we date theres gonna be some issues” you said but he just stared at you with cocky eyebrows and a dark gaze, running his tongue on the inside of his cheek.

“do you think i care? would i ask you if i cared?” he said to which you shook your head automatically, what more could you do?

“you get until tomorrow to think and if i don’t get the answer i want well,,, we’ll see what i’ll do to you.”

Seungmin

he plots shit behind your back yk?

he’s more of the sneaky type of yanderes (oop spoiler to a fic heh)

like he makes this like fucking year long plan where the objective of the mission is to make you obssessed with him-

he starts kinda subtely,,, first its going to the same gym as you and like,,, knowing where you placed your stuff

and then he starts putting small notes like under your waterbottle when you went to grab something that say like “i think youre cute, call me” and then his number

you obviously dont react,,, because why the fuck would you contact a stranger at the gym 

BUT THEN you realize that its him, its mf kim seungmin. yo,,,, u didnt know he went to this gym,,, that was not,,, the best-

of course you got a bit interested,,, you wanted to know how he was off camera,,, like just in his everyday life and i meeean,,, he was attractive but obviously you should stay away bc,,, he’s a celebrity but seungmin didnt want to stay away

he notes somehow started to get more aggressive,,, suddenly being like “why are you ignoring me?” and such,,,

and one night you were left alone in the gym with him,,, it was sooo quiet, only the sounds of your strained breaths as you lifted a dumbell

here where the plan came to play ;))

Jeongin

he’s obsessed with you and you are not going anywhere, even if you rejected him. 

he’s more clingy?? LIKE HE WILL NOT LEAVE YOU

ok sure,, he falls more into the stalking category too,,, 

also veeeery much a obssessed kinda yandere,,, like his mind is not thinking about how to like capture you,,, more about how to make you soooo comfortable and fool you into loving him despite the circumstances?

i just imagine that you work in a cafe and jeongin often meets you there when he buys coffee and you are already in awe when you see fucking yang jeongin enter the coffee shop on your shift but you were even more excited when he leaves his phone number on a napkin and slides it over the counter before leaving. 

you thought about it,,, contemplating multiple times but,,, you decided it would be best not to since well,,, safety purposes 

but he would visit you and every day his face got more and more perplexed cause he wondered why you didnt call

mf would not leave you alone, he would even wait outside the coffee shop until you finished your shift and walk you home,,, so now he knew where you lived- 

and then do the same thing over and over again until you talked to him.

does. not. give. up. 

[cherryflavoredblood]

Tibits and stuff

Funny fun facts about my 80 million btd ocs!! if anyone cares lol

This is a long post because there are a lot of them obviously. No spoilers will happen for the game they're in or for MX. Sinister.

Main Characters only!

Mild nsfw and gross things under cut!

✰Vivzy✰

Has had violent, nasty, grotesque sex behind an Arby's before. And in one. And while eating it. Likes Arby's. Guess where you're going for dinner?

Talks loud. Really loud. If you said something, repeat it, he's talking in his head so loud he's unable to process anything.

✰Azrael✰

Creepy uncle you only see once every few years at family gatherings that asks if you want to watch SAW. You say yes, only to be shown a real snuff film she made herself. You should go to the police about this.

Loves an overly affectionate captive. Try to hold her hand only for her to slap it away and laugh at you. Kiss her forehead so she can bite you until you bleed. Make her breakfast only for her to vomit it up and call it 'disgusting and vile.

✰Yvette✰

Hates, hates, HATES sex. The thought of sex. Even jokes about sex. If you try to initiate sex, you will die. Or, alternatively, have things on your body removed.

Runs a true crime YouTube.. except she hates true crime. Hates it so, so much in fact, that she runs her account with a spin. The unsolved crime cases she covers? Hers. She committed them. Gets a huge sick kick out of it too.

✰Mateo✰

Lives off a diet of hot cheetos, BANG energy, weed, cocaine and imported Japanese snacks.

He's behind the 4chan fridgebro thread. His house is a hazard and a threat to humankind.

✰Baphomet✰

Is a sexless shapeshifter. Can be whatever you want him to be. Takes form of your deepest, darkest attraction <3

Being an overly religious, stuck up douchebag is boring sometimes. So he indulges in Lovecraftian and Satanic horror love stories!

✰Yoo-ri✰

Had an emo phase when she was growing up. Was thinking about become a punk rock artist or a dark poet before switching to what she does now. Still listens to MCR some nights when she gets time alone.

Made out with cardboard cutouts of herself as a publicity stunt once. Continues to do dumb shit in public for her Tik-Tok and Instagram. Her newest thing to blow up was titled: "YOO-RI GONE WILD! EATS ICE CREAM MADE FROM [redacted] THIS WILL SHOCK YOU!"

✰Shirca✰

Has a witch caldron where she cooks up monstrosities. Stews, potions, weird tiny creatures that are actually very cute, but they die within a week.

Don't play cards with her. Ever. In any kind. If you do, whatever happens, do NOT win. If you do, she'll pull a different card. A fate sealing Tarot.

✰Crystal✰

Watches beauty videos constantly. Has a beauty YouTube channel too. Will find a way to use this against her captive somehow. Probably in the form of an annoying 'HI SISTERS'

Espeon 'addiction'. Her comfort character. Has so many stickers and plushies and keychains and cards and-

✰Hyeon-Seo✰

Smoke addiction except she somehow finds money to purchase premium cigarettes that cost up to 100$ per carton made by a company called 'CigarHounds'

Before her reign of terror, she used to frequent carnivals with her old friends. (Ones that her rich family hosted) It was great stress relief. She was good at most games, won a lot too.

✰Yuimori✰

Has gotten so used to the rain around his area that it's... a comfort in a way. Purposely goes out when it rains to listen to music, but of course, only songs that fit the mood.

Contrary to popular belief, he's somewhat 'okay' with sharing his sweetheart (in sexual situations). Only if it's with someone he loves or trusts enough.

[wellthebardsdead]

Everything I Wanted Sojiro X Fem Reader

Pasted from my old account. My works are by no means perfect and are riddled with grammatical errors but I do this for fun so, enjoy ~Bambi

~I had a dream... I got everything I wanted...~

How did it come to this?... why did it come to this?... you’d spent your whole life trying to be a good person, a model citizen, the daughter your parents always wanted, a perfect girlfriend and future wife to your boyfriend... you tried to become what everyone wanted...

~not what you’d think...~

You looked over the lip of the rooftop down at the city streets below. The rain made everything sparkle in the warm glow of neon light, it poured down your face mingling with your tears. Your hair wet and stringy, your blouse and skirt soaked... you took off your shoes and climbed over the railing before standing on the edge...

As your grip began to loosen up you heard a deep, firm, but gentle voice call out for you over the ambiance of the rain and the city life below. “Y/N!”

~and if I’m being honest it might have been a nightmare... to anyone who might care...~

———

You could hardly contain your excitement as you rushed into your apartment carrying the large garment bag, your dress was finally ready, it wouldn’t be long before the wedding.

To everyone who knew you, your life looked perfect, the model daughter of two successful entrepreneurs of a tech company that was recently sold allowing them to retire in luxury.

You were everything they wanted you to be. Beautiful, smart, poised, and kind. You lived in a nice apartment with your fiancé, a handsome and wealthy businessman who doubled as your manager at your parents now former company, your manager, his name was Hitoshi.

You’d worked so hard to build up this life, you thought it was perfect, if this is what everyone wanted for you this must be what you want right?...

After fumbling with your keys you bustled into the apartment. Your fiancé had already left for work. As you walked into the bedroom your heart fluttered seeing a red box, you set your dress and a folder of paperwork down and opened it to find an expensive set of lingerie, you gladly tried it on, it felt a little tight... You didn’t mind, you were losing a bit more weight before the wedding anyway. Maybe this was a surprise for the honeymoon he’d forgotten to hide, or maybe he’d left it as a bit of motivation for you.

Either way it looked nice. You took it off and placed it back in the box before putting your dress away in the closet. You had just enough time left of your lunch break to freshen up and head back to work.

After making sure you were presentable you left.. forgetting the folder of documents you’d left on your bed...

———

You worked as a secretary at your parents now former business, they offered you higher positions many times but you wanted to earn those positions, they were extremely proud of you for your decision. You worked hard, and you were due for a promotion very soon, one that’d move you to your fiancés department. You were so excited that you’d get to work along side Hitoshi.

As you approached the building you smiled seeing painters renovating the outside. They were applying the new owners logo, Shimada enterprise. You’d have to thank the new CEO for allowing your parents to retire.

You stepped inside and walked past the receptionist desk, it was empty again... There was a new girl working, Ichika. You weren’t sure of her last name but she’d been there a few weeks, and she had a bad habit of slacking off. You sighed spotting 24 missed calls on the phone. You some files on her desk before walking to the elevator and riding up to your office.

There were a couple men in the elevator, one a young gentlemen around your age, a nice blue and black vest, a white button up and smart black slacks. His hair was short with a slightly long fringe and he had well groomed facial hair. The other man was taller, dressed in a black suit, black hair greying slightly around the sides yet his face looked rather youthful, strong jawline, sharp eyebrows and a piercing gaze.

The two nodded at you in greeting and you returned the same with a smile assuming they must be business associates. They returned to their conversation and you checked through emails on your phone until the lift reached your stop. You couldn’t help but eavesdrop a little, apparently they turned up and the receptionist wasn’t there, after 5 minutes of waiting they decided to head up to find whomever was managing all the departments today...

As you stepped off you swear you heard one of them say to the other that you were cute. Your face went bright red and you booked it off pretending you didn’t hear.

Before heading to your desk you made your way to your fiancés office. As you approached it you saw Ichika step out giggling back at the doorway. She jumped seeing you standing there. “O oh miss L/N!! I was just dropping off some pap-” she stammered out before you cut her off. “That’s not part of your job. You’re meant to hand them over to me first for revision and then I hand them to whomever the recipient is. You’ve missed 24 calls possibly more in the time it took me to get here, and on top of that what appeared to be two business associates were left waiting at the front desk for you! Go back to your desk.” You say firmly. You were getting sick of her finding excuses to leave her desk like this.

She quickly scurried off past you, something about her... there was something that just rubbed you the wrong way. You stepped into your fiancés office and smiled seeing him there, he heard you come in and turned on his heal, “hmm forget something ich- Y-Y/N!” He stammered out surprised. The tone of his voice caught you off guard, “of course it’s me. Why do you keep allowing her to drop work to run files up to you? The phones have been ringing off the hook today and she wasn’t there to answer them.” You say annoyed.

“Ah come on Y/N, she’s new.” He says walking to you planting a kiss on your lips. “She’s been here for over 3 weeks, she has no excuse I’ve warned her plenty of times. Just because my parents no longer own this business doesn’t mean I’m going to allow the quality of our service drop.” You say before kissing him back. You caught a whiff of Ichikas perfume... maybe she just applied a little too much and brushed against Hitoshi, yes that had to be it...

He sighed. “If you say so.” He shrugged, “I’ll have a chat with her.” He smiled. You smiled back before kissing him again. “Thank you, she’s been making my job hard enough as is.” You sigh. “Thank you for that little surprise too by the way. It was very comfy~” you giggle. He blinked looking at you a little confused before it clicked in his brain. -shit!! I forgot to hide it!- he thought. “O-oh yeah baby! Ah damn it I was going to hide it for our wedding night. Did I leave it on the bed?” He says rubbing his head.

You nod and giggle. “Mhm, don’t worry~ I’ll pretend I didn’t see it.” You say placing a finger to your lips and winking. He chuckled and hugged you close giving you another kiss. “Thanks baby~” he smiled. “I gotta get back to work now, I’ll be home late tonight.” You sigh. “I’ve got a heap of new contracts I have to sort out.”

He nodded and smiled, “I’ll see you when you get home, no need to rush. Text me when you leave Kay?” He asks. He’d suddenly gotten into a habit of asking that whenever you’d be working late... you assumed it was just because he was worried for your safety working so late at night. You nod and smile, “I will.” You say before kissing him once more and walking out to your office.

———

The day dragged on and soon the afternoon turned into the evening. It was getting late and you were getting hungry.

As you finished the stack of paperwork you went to move onto the folder of contracts... it wasn’t there. You panicked looking through your bag, your desk, as you scanned your memory it clicked... the bed. You’d left it on the bed at home...

You sigh getting up, you’d have to go and get it. At least it’d give you an opportunity to get something to eat, and see your love...

Picking up your bag you called for a cab and headed to the elevator. You jumped as it opened to see one of the men from this morning, the one in the black suit. “Hm oh didn’t mean to startle you miss.” He chuckled a little, he had a deep voice, it matched his powerful exterior perfectly. “O-oh no no it’s fine!” You say flustered before stepping in and hitting the ground floor.

“You’re here awfully late. Do you often stay after hours?” He asked checking his watch. You shrug a little, “hm, not really sir. But these past few weeks I’ve unfortunately had to take up extra work due to the new receptionists underperformance.” You sigh. “Oh w-where are my manners! I’m Y/N L/N!” You stammer out bowing politely.

He chuckled, “it’s nice to see at least someone here is working hard then, it’s a pleasure to meet you miss L/N, I’m S-” the lift suddenly jerked violently and the lights shut off. You stumbled forward and prepared to hit the floor but instead you felt a pair of strong arms grasp hold of you keeping you steady. “Are you alright?” He whispers. He smelt so nice, a mix between citrus, sandalwood, and undertones of cherry blossom with a hint of musk.

You nod as he helped you up right. “I’m fine sir, th-thank you for catching me.” You were thankful for the lack of light, you could feel how hot your face was with blush right now. “Don’t mention it.” He says softly.

After another moment the lights clicked back on and the back up system kicked in. The power must have shut off... the lift opened at the ground floor and you were right, there was a huge storm outside, it must have cut power off to most of the street. At least with the backup generator you could keep working. “Would you like a lift?” He asked as you two approached the doors.

You went to answer as suddenly your cab pulled up outside. “Ah no thank you, this is my ride.” You smile and bow politely. “Goodnight sir.” You say before rushing out to the cab. You never did get his name.

As you got into the cab and drove off an omnic walked to the building holding an umbrella. “A new acquaintance Master Shimada?” It asked as he stepped under the umbrella lighting a cigarette. “Not yet... but... I’d like her to be.” He says as he walked to his car.

———

The taxi pulled up outside your apartment, you paid in full plus a generous tip asking them to please wait for you to come back before rushing inside. You’d forgotten to text Hitoshi you were coming but you figured it’d be fine. The power was out here but you could see light coming from the bedroom. Turning on your phone flashlight you spotted the folder on the kitchen counter... along with the now empty red box...

You turned the flashlight to see your fiancés shirt and pants on the floor leading through the hallway bedroom... you quietly walked towards it when you heard it, moaning... a woman moaning...

Creeping closer you peered through the opening in the doorway, big enough to see through, small enough to hide you from view... you stifled a shocked gasp as you saw your fiancé, with Ichika. She was dressed in the lingerie set and laying on her back between his legs...

Tears poured down your face... you turned and walked out taking the folder with you... you got back into the cab and returned back to work...

The driver was thankfully kind enough to give you the return drive for free after seeing the distraught expression on your face. You thanked him and returned back to your office... as you sat down at your desk you started to sob... you buried your face into your hands and you just sobbed.

It was around 2am when you finished the paperwork... you heard your phone buzz, Hitoshi. “Baby it’s late, when are you coming home?” You felt sick reading that, you replied simply. “On my way, we need to talk.”

You packed up your work for the night and turned off the lights. The rain had become little more than a drizzle at this point so you found yourself walking along the lonely streets. The power had come back on and the neon lights of store fronts sparkled in the puddles that lined the pavement. It helped distract you from the inevitable pain that awaited you when you got home...

———

You stifled back sobs as you quietly packed up your desk into a cardboard box. After arriving home last night you fought with your now ex-fiancé... he’d decided to leave you for Ichika. He threw you out after making you pack up all your belongings minus the furniture... and your wedding dress and engagement ring... -you don’t need need them. And they’ll look far better on her anyway! I spent too much money on this wedding as is to just cancel it- his words replayed in your head.

She’d be enjoying your wedding, wearing your dress, and your ring...

And to add insult to injury he’d given her your promotion too... and as a result gave you her job instead... now here you were moving your belongings down to reception all the while trying desperately not to cry...

You approached the elevator to see the doors closing, and inside Hitoshi and Ichika... they looked at you, and smirked... “hold the door!” That voice. You turned to see the man from last night approaching.

Hitoshi immediately panicked and held open the lift. “Y-yes sojiro san! I I mean Mr Shimada!!!” He stammered out. Your ears perked up, Shimada... this was your new employer!!

He stepped into the lift before looking at you. “Ah good morning Y/N. Aren’t you coming?” He asks gesturing to his side. You glance at your ex and his mistress before looking back at Sojiro... he had a nice smile... you stepped in and stood at his side.

Sojiro could sense something was very wrong... he wasn’t an ordinary man... -hurt... shes... hurt...- a deep booming voice sounded in his head. He glanced down at you to see your shoulders shaking and your lip quivering as you held back tears. And for whatever reason the two in the lift with you were the ones causing you this distress... -betrayed... betrayed... kill... kill...- the voice sounded again.

As soon as the lift doors open you stepped out quickly without another word and went to the receptionist desk. Sojiro watched you quietly begin to unpack your things before casting a glance at your ex that could cut holes through his soul... he watched him rush off with his new lover in hand...

He looked back at you... This shouldn’t be any of his concern but... His heart wanted you... -sad... help... help her....- the voice whispered... “I will... just be patient...” he whispered back.

———

A few weeks had passed by.

Youd gotten yourself your own place, a tiny and empty apartment... it was all you could afford on your new salary. Your bed was a futon, you had a small coffee table that acted as your kitchen table too, and a tiny kitchenette and bathroom...

You tried contacting your parents to ask them for help but to your horror they sided with your ex. They said you clearly hadn’t been performing well enough as his future wife so it’s only fair that he’d replace you... you hung up without saying another word...

Your life had crumbled around you, the life you’d spent your whole existence building. The one you were expected to build, the one everyone wanted... but was it what you wanted to begin with?... What did you want?...

Every day at work was a misery, Hitoshi and Ichika seemed to be intentionally throwing more and more your way, jobs that weren’t even any of your business were now your responsibility... they were trying to make you quit. And at this stage you were really considering it.

The only saving grace was your lunch break... youd find yourself up on the roof all alone. You’d eat there staring at the city life below. All those happy lives... It wasn’t long though before you had unexpected company. One afternoon you were surprised to find Sojiro had stepped out for a smoke, he asked to join you and you said yes.

He was so easy to talk to, despite his intimidating exterior he was so kind and honestly a little goofy in your company. He had the most gentle smile when he looked at you.

Sojiro wanted so badly to know more about you, to ask why you were hurting, to whisk you away from it all and take you somewhere safe. Every time he was close to you that voice in his head would sing out wanting you to be nearer.

He found himself at his desk late one night filing through paperwork, but all he could think of was you... curiosity got the better of him and he looked at your file. His heart fluttered seeing your face... he felt like a fool for hoping someone as young and pretty as you would want him, he hadn’t loved another since his wife had passed away giving birth to his second born. He was lonely, he buried himself in his work and any free time he had was devoted to his sons... but they were grown up now... and his heart was aching for love.

He looked through your file with interest. You were the daughter of the previous owners, the fact that you never mentioned it to him boggled his brain. He should have guessed that by your last name but even still he thought you would have mentioned it once at least... Maybe you didn’t want special treatment he wondered.

What didn’t make sense to him was why you were moved to a lowly receptionist job. You were practically over qualified for your old position too, heck you were more qualified for your ex’s position than he was.

His ear twitched hearing a low chittering noise from behind him. “Yes I know... isn’t she pretty.” He smiled reaching back and scratching the scaly cheek of a large black dragon... -help... her... help... love...- It groaned.

“Shhh I know... I know...” he cooed softly as it rested it’s head on his shoulder before changing to the size of a large snake and draping itself around his neck. He gave it another scratch before continuing to read your employee file... his eye caught the document below yours, Ichikas.

He read through hers and scowled, there was no way in hell she was qualified for your job, he could feel his dragon tense up before it snarled at the screen. “Shh... don’t worry... we’re going to fix this.” He cooed.

———

You sighed stepping into work, you had trouble sleeping last night after the storm woke you up. Summer in Japan was beautiful but the humidity often lead to some extreme weather. And last night the thunder and lightning practically shook your tiny apartment to its foundation. Thankfully it had died down to just a downpour, but it was supposed to be picking up again this evening...

Shaking off your umbrella you walked to your desk and blinked. A stunning arrangement of flowers all heavily significant of love sat on your chair, along with a box of chocolates. There was only a card that said “To my dearest Y/N, I hope this gift brings you reason to smile..” No signature... you didn’t recognise the handwriting either. Even still... it wasnt a cheap assortment, someone must care.

The gift was just what you needed to put a little spring into your step. You proudly displayed the flowers for all to see and you picked one of the chocolates to enjoy, you’d save the rest for when you went home.

You wore a smile on your face throughout the day, and it only got bigger as everyone who approached the desk commented on how pretty they were, and how lucky you are. Despite the rainy weather outside this was a much needed ray of sunshine in your life.

It was nearing your lunch break, you hadn’t seen Sojiro today. Normally he’d accompany you on the lift, or stop by to say hello... you felt dumb for missing his absence but... he’d become the only positive you had left in your life now... you’d developed feelings for him... you thought maybe... you wanted him...

The rustling of leaves and petals caught your attention. You looked up to see Ichika plucking flowers from your gift. “H-hey cut it out those are mine!” You shout standing up. “Oh get over yourself Y/N! It’s just a couple for my desk.” She says waving her hand before reaching to take another. You grab the flowers and move them away. “You mean my desk that you fucked my ex to get you homewrecking cow!!” You shout.

She scowled and scrunched up her nose. “Woooow real professional Y/N. Bringing personal life into work. Why don’t you act your wage and-” a deep voice suddenly cut her off. “Get back to work.” Your heart fluttered, Sojiro...

You both looked at him as he approached. “Y-yes sir I was just telling her t-” Ichika stammered out as he stepped between her and the desk. “I was talking to you.” He scowled. She practically shrunk under his gaze before skulking away.

He watched her leave, his stance proud and fearsome, it softened as he looked at you. He always looked so relaxed around you. “Are you okay Y/N?...” he frowned.

“Y-yes...” you lie. No. No you weren’t okay. Your whole body was trembling and tears were already pouring down your face. He took your hand in his and handed you a tissue to dry them. You were so distraught you didn’t even realise he was holding you as he led you to the lift for your lunch break.

There was an undercover area on the roof, with a table and chairs, it offered a nice view of the cityscape despite the rain. While everywhere else was drenched, here it was bone dry. You calmed down after he sat you down, even still your lip quivered as you hiccuped pitiful little sobs.

He dried your tears after a moment and handed you a sandwich from a cafe you liked. He’d gotten into a habit of bring an extra one for you knowing that money was tight at the moment. “...I’m sorry you had to see that...” you whispered. He glanced at you as he lit a cigarette, “don’t be... if I’d heard another word leave her mouth id be apologising to you for witnessing me punch her.” He says taking a drag.

“You wouldn’t have to apologise to me for that...” you smile sadly, your eyes red and tired... always so tired now... he wanted to see you happy, rested, enjoying your life... he wanted to give you the life you deserved... you were everything he wanted. But he was afraid you’d reject him because he was older... or if you did accept him... would you accept all of him?... The gentle businessman facade was only a part of who he was...

“I don’t think I’ll be around here much longer anyway...” you say suddenly as you take a bite of your sandwich. His stomach dropped. “What? Why?” He says sounding more upset then you were expecting. “I just... I don’t belong here anymore Sojiro... I see my ex and that.. bitch every day... my parents don’t even want to be associated with me anymore.” You sniffle.

“Then I’ll fire them.” He says simply. “what? N no please! Don’t...” you say softly. “Just.. because my life didn’t work out doesn’t mean thei-” you try to protest but he cut you off. “Your heart is too kind for your own good Y/N... very well... but if this continues then I’ll have no choice.” He says stubbing out his cigarette butt as you finished your sandwich. You nod and placed the empty wrapper in the bin. “I understand...” you say softly.

You hated your ex, you hated Ichika, but you were too kind a person, you didn’t want revenge, you just wanted them to leave you alone... “y/n...” Sojiro says as he gently took your hand. “I... have something I want to as-” a younger mans voice sounded from the lift. “Tou-san! There you are! The meetings already started!” You recognised him, he was one of sojiros sons, the oldest. You’d seen him the day you met Sojiro in the lift. Hanzo you think is name was.

Sojiro sighed pinching his brow. “I’m afraid it’ll have to wait. I’ll talk to you later y/n. Come on.. let’s head back in before it gets too heavy.” He says softly. You nod and stand up, still holding his hand. He held his coat over you as you two ran back to the lift. His son gave you two a look, not one of disapproval, more of a knowing glance. As if to say when are you two getting together...

The three of you chatted until they had to get off at their floor. You said your goodbyes and returned to reception. You were feeling better, talking with Sojiro always cheered you up. As you walked to your desk though the spring in your step died... the flowers were gone...

You rushed to your desk to find them in the bin, crushed with all the heads cut off. And the chocolates all eaten. There was a sticky note on the box that simply read ‘thanks for lunch :)’ it was Ichikas handwriting... next to it there was a mountain of folders, and another note that read, ‘I want this done by tomorrow morning...’

You held back a sob, your chest hurt, it was getting hard to breath... you cowered under your desk ignoring the phone as it rang. The walls were caving in, your face felt tingly and your head tight, your hands cold and numb with sweaty palms. You’d grown up your whole life dealing with anxiety attacks, the pressure to be perfect was overbearing. You should be used to them but they were never this bad before.

-ground yourself... think of something you like, something you want...Sojiro...- you thought... immediately the pressure in your chest released... you thought of his scent, his eyes, his smile... his hand holding yours... you had to talk to him...

After a few moments you composed yourself... it was over... you got up and sat in your chair, emotionally and mentally drained... they say everyone no matter how happy has their breaking point. And you were at yours...

———

~Thought I could fly~

———

It was around 9pm... you’d finally finished. You started to pack up when a loud slap made you jump out of your skin. You look up to see a large folder of paperwork in front of you and Hitoshi and Ichika walking away laughing. “This too, I want it on my desk tomorrow by 7am!” Hitoshi says waving at you. “Oh and, thanks for the chocolates~” Ichika laughed as they stepped out heading for their car... you fell back into your seat... defeated...

You just sat there... watching as the downpour outside turned into a storm... it was 11:30pm when you finally stood up. You walked to the bathroom and splashed cold water onto your face in an attempt to look presentable... you saw your reflection...

Your hair was a mess, your eyes tired and heavy, your lips cracked and bloody from chewing at them, and your skin pale from stress and stained with tears. You stared into your sad eyes, “failure...” you muttered to yourself... Once the ‘perfect’ daughter your parents always desired, the once perfect girlfriend, the once star employee... all gone... all that was left was your bare self,... and you didn’t even know who you truely were.

You’d lost everything, everything you’d worked so hard to build up, the perfect life everyone wanted... but was it truely what you wanted? what did you want?... you wanted to escape...

The bathroom door creaked as you exited and headed for the lift...

...

~so I stepped off the golden mm,.. nobody cried...~

...

You didn’t hold onto the rails as the lift carried you up, you didn’t so much as flinch as it stopped either, you stared right ahead. There’s no such thing as a perfect life... and if there’s such thing as a perfect person it wasn’t you.. you’d failed everyone... you were never the perfect daughter... nobody would love you... nobody would miss you...

...

~Nobody even noticed, I saw them standing right there...~

...

The rain bucketed down in sheets... you looked up at the clouds as lightning flashed and the thunder roared like the cries of an angry beast... you threw your head back and started to laugh as tears poured down your face, you screamed at the storm as it did to you...

You walked to the edge...

...

~I kind of thought they might care...~

...

You looked over the lip of the rooftop down at the city streets below. The rain made everything sparkle in the warm glow of neon light, it poured down your face mingling with your tears. Your hair wet and stringy, your blouse and skirt soaked... you took off your shoes and climbed over the railing before standing on the edge...

As your grip began to loosen up you heard a deep, firm, but gentle voice call out for you over the ambiance of the storm and the city life below. “Y/N!”

...

~I had a dream, I got everything I wanted. But when I wake up, I see, you with me~

...

You look back to see Sojiro running towards you... He stopped just feet away, holding out his hand to you. “Y/N it’s alright... I’m here... come here...” he called softly.

“I’m going to do it!! Don’t try to stop me!” You screamed at him, “I’ve tried so hard to be everything everyone wanted me to be! I tried to do everything right! I’ve fucked it all up! It’s my fault he left me! It’s my fault my parents disowned me!! I’m not what they wanted!!” You cry.

He took another step closer, “Forget what everyone else wants of you Y/N!! What do you want?” He asks... What did you want?... you look down at the city below... “do you want this?...” he asked.

“No...” you reply. “Come down then... come to me...” he cooed... -he’s what I want...- you think...

...

~And you said...~

...

“Come here Y/N... as long as I’m here no one can hurt you...” he says stepping closer again.

As you turned around your bare foot slipped on the cement, and your grip on the railing released... you looked at him as you fell...

...

~I tried to scream... but my head was under water...~

...

It felt surreal, you fell with the rain. It was as if the droplets were suspended in mid air as you whizzed past them. The wind lashed at your drenched body and whistled through your ears, all you could hear was your heartbeat.

...

~they called me weak... like I’m not just somebody’s daughter...~

It didn’t feel real... you watched as suddenly Sojiro jumped off the edge after you... and in seconds he held you tightly in his arms.

You swear you saw a flash of black scales before suddenly the world went black...

...

~Could’ve been a nightmare...~

...

You opened your eyes briefly as you were shifted into someone’s lap... you were in a car. You recognised that scent... Sojiro... you were safe.. you let out a soft sigh as you felt him shift his coat around you and rub your back... your eyelids fluttered closed again and you faded back into unconsciousness...

———

The sound of bird song woke you up... you opened your eyes to find yourself in a very traditional buf luxurious looking room. The bed you lay in at first looked like an ordinary futon but that was only the blanket. The bed itself was imbedded into the floor like the worlds softest nest.

There were two doors, one that must lead further into the building and another that was open, it lead out to a beautiful garden. You saw sparrows and red breasted robins bouncing about on the porch eating seed. The sunshine danced in the ornately groomed trees and sparkled on the ponds surface, It was picturesque.

“Ah! Good morning miss L/N. I’m so happy to see you’re awake! Master Shimada will be so happy to hear you’re alright.” A female omnic voice... you look back at the doorway to see a very elegantly designed geisha like omnic enter with a tray. On it a lovely breakfast and some juice.

“Oh hello... I... where am I?” You ask as she set the tray in your lap before going about her tasks. “Hanamura castle of course. Master Sojiros home.” She giggled. It took a moment for that to register in your brain. The man you’d been conversing with as if he were your best friend, the man who saved you last night, was practically royalty.

“Wha?...” was all you could manage out. She could only giggle, “I understand it’s much to take in. Master Sojiro wanted to be here for when you woke but he had some business to attend to at the new enterprise, oh! Speaking of which. He wants you to stay in bed today... but if you wish to go to work he has a car for you to take.” She says as she began to comb your hair.

The idea of staying in bed after last night sounded perfect but... “may I take the car please? I have so much work to do I can’t rest...” you say softly. The need to be perfect, the need to please others... it had been beaten into your mind... you were hardly holding yourself together right now...

Even still the omnic didn’t argue. She got you dressed into a blouse and skirt that costed more than anything you’d ever owned and she escorted you to the car. “Are you sure you don’t wish to change your mind?” She asks after helping you into the car. “I don’t know what I want anymore...” you say meekly. If she could frown that comment would have made her do so with worry... “I’ll inform master Sojiro.” She says bowing before closing the door.

The driver started the engine and the next thing you knew you were off. You’d only ever been to hanamura a few times, it seemed to always be blanketed in pink. The land of eternal cherry blossoms all year round until winter would come and coat everything white.

You’d always wanted to live here... but your parents wanted you to live closer to the business, closer to them... but now... maybe you could live here after all. What did Sojiro mean by wanting you to stay in bed? Why did he bother saving you? How did he save you for that matter? Why these nice clothes? These gifts? Did this mean he wanted you?... no... he was just pitying you... you were sure of it...

The car pulled up in the underground car park, it was mostly used by the engineers who designed prototypes for your company, you’d rarely been down here at all in your time with the company. The omnic driver stepped out and opened your door for you before you had the chance to. “Th thank you...” you say softly. He helped you out and nodded. “I’ll be down here when you’re ready to leave madam.” He bowed.

You nodded and thanked him once more before heading up to reception... you blinked seeing Ichika sitting at your desk looking pale as a sheet. “Where’s my stuff?...” you ask softly, your voice so quiet and tired.

She nearly jumped out of her skin seeing you. “I.. I I i” she tried to speak... she looked like she’d seen a ghost. “Y/N!” Sojiro suddenly called from behind you. You didn’t think it possible but Ichikas face went even paler...

He rushed over and gently embraced you as you turned around... you melted into his touch, so desperate for positive contact. “What are you doing here? You should be resting.” He says softly but sternly. You look down at your feet and nod. “I-I had paperwork I never finished last night for Ichika and I left my bag here too I-I’m sorry.” You stammer out.

You jumped as he cupped your chin in his hand and made you look up at him, “it’s alright... your stuff is in my office dear. If you insist on working I have a few things I need organised. But I’d like you to please take it easy today.” He says as he stroked your cheek with this thumb.

Your face went bright red at the contact, you nodded. “Y-yes mr Shimada.” You squeak out. He chuckled, “why so formal now?...” he smiled. “Come along Y/N, I’ll get you settled into my office then I have to attend a meeting with some... unsavoury individuals.” He says glancing at Ichika who’d been gawking this whole time. She jumped and immediately got back to work...

He took your hand in his and pulled you close, your face was beat red now, you walked beside him obediently to his office.

After getting you settled with the paperwork you had to organise he suddenly placed a blanket and pillow on the large sofa he had near the bookshelf. “if you get tired please rest. One of my sons will come by to check up on you around lunch time.” He smiled. God, his smile.

You nod and immediately get to work, “y/n...” he suddenly says. You look up and almost jump out of your skin. How did he cross the room that quickly? and without you noticing? “I hope Ive made it obvious enough that asking this question would be foolish of me but...” before he could finish the door opened. “Tou-san. They’re waiting for you.” A young man entered, Sojiros youngest, Genji.

He had green hair and wore a nice suit similar to his fathers but had a tie matching his neon hairstyle. He looked similar to Sojiro, definitely had the same nose and eyebrows, though his eyes seemed a lot more bubbly than his fathers. He must get them from his mother.

Sojiro sighed and nodded. “Very well.” He looked back at you. “I need to speak to you after I’m done. I might be a while. So if you need to rest please do.” He says gently taking your hand and squeezing it before walking out. Genji looked at you and gave you the same look Hanzo did but, he looked a little more giddy than his older brother had. He bowed politely before closing the door.

The day ticked by slowly. Genji returned around lunch time as promised with something for you to eat. You two chatted as you ate, he was a lot more talkative than his father but just as easy to get along with. He mentioned that everyone in the company had heard of what happened last night, and they all knew Hitoshi and Ichika were to blame. That’s what the meeting was about apparently, a full staff briefing of workplace harassment followed by a private sit down with your abusers in question.

You wondered why you weren’t attending the full staff one but it made sense you didn’t, you weren’t well right now... and it seemed Sojiro wanted to keep you as far away from Ichika and Hitoshi as possible.

After eating Genji said his goodbyes once again before leaving you to your own devices... you looked at the paperwork... it had to be done but. Sojiro wanted you to rest... you wanted to make him happy... you wanted him. So you climbed onto the sofa and cuddled the blanket close. It wasn’t long before you were asleep.

-sleep... safe now... no one can hurt you...-

A deep but gentle voice sounded in your head. You looked up and saw those scales, the ones you remembered from last night... you followed them down to a pair of sharp claws. Then up to a large snarling lion like face... a dragon... “Safe...” it spoke. “What?...” you reply.

It lay it’s head down to be eye level with you. “You’re safe now...” it whispered, it sounded almost like music. “As long as I’m here, no one can hurt you.” It repeated.

You reached your hand out and touched its nose making it sniff at you, “am I dreaming?... who are you?.. why am I here?...” you whisper. “You’ve suffered much your whole life... they tried to mould you into what they wanted. So much so that you’ve forgotten who you are... what you want... if I could change the way you see yourself... you wouldn’t wonder why you’re here.” It said nuzzling your hand.

...

~they don’t deserve you...~

...

You opened your eyes feeling a warm familiar hand on your cheek, it was just dark outside now... you blush seeing Sojiro smiling down at you, “did you sleep well?” He whispered. You nodded in response. “It’s time to go home now...” he sighed, “y/n... Will you come home with me again?... and live with me permanently?” He says softly.

It took a moment to click, he really did want you... you thought you were still dreaming, but it felt too real. “I... do you want me to?” You ask softly. He smiled and stroked your cheek, “the question is... do you want to?” He chuckled a little. “I... I...” you pause... “I want you.” Silence.

“I I mean! I want to be with you! That sounded too forward I’m so sorry I’ll go n-” you ramble out before his lips cut you off.

You let out a surprised gasp before your eyelids fluttered shut. You leaned into the kiss and he pulled you close and held you so gently it brought tears to your eyes. This was it... this is what you wanted. As you wrapped your arms around his broad shoulders he scooped you up and cradled you like his new bride. “I promise... I’ll look after you...” he whispers. You nod in response.

He gently lay his coat over you and carried you from his office. He stepped into the lift and hit the basement level, the car park. You rested your head against his chest and hummed softly as he pressed his lips to your forehead. “What would you like for dinner dear?” He asks as the elevator suddenly stopped on the ground floor. “I... um...” you tried to think but your thoughts were silenced as the lift opened.

You blinked seeing Hitoshi and Ichika standing there both looking pale and terrified. Behind them, Hanzo and Genji stood quietly. Genji had seemingly ditched his suit jacket, his tie hung loose around his neck, and in his hand he held a baseball bat. -oh! He must be into sports!- you think innocently.

Sojiro gracefully stepped to the side allowing your ex and his mistress in, followed by his two sons. The ride down was painfully silent, you noticed Ichika and Hitoshi growing more and more agitated by the second... yet Sojiro and his sons remained calm as ever, smiling even.

You blushed a little as Sojiro held you closer, you couldn’t tell from this angle but it was clear he was looking at your ex, as if to say look at what you lost, she’s mine now. It made you feel so special.

As he shifted you, you caught a glimpse of something on his neck, tucked away under the collar of his shirt... a tattoo?... part of one... Tattoos weren’t uncommon in Japan, but they were heavily associated with the yakuza... no... maybe he got it as a memorial for his wife? Maybe it’s her favourite flower? Maybe it’s to show his love for his sons? Any of these were valid reasons. He couldn’t be a criminal, he couldn’t...

You glanced at hanzo... you could see a hint of blue ink on his exposed wrist... then Genji, you could see what looked like a green dragon through the fabric of his shirt... -calm down. I’m sure it’ll be okay. I’m sure they must have an explanation for this- you think.

The elevator reached the ground floor and the doors opened. Immediately Hitoshi and Ichika stepped out and began walking a little too quickly to be normal, they must have gotten a big talking to from Sojiro...

Hanzo and Genji both looked at each other, before glancing at their father... Sojiro nodded, and the two stepped out after your ex and his mistress... you felt a knot forming in your stomach...

Sojiro stepped out still holding you tightly as he texted the driver to come around to the lift entrance. “I know a place not far from here, I think you’ll like what they serve there.” He says smiling at you... you didn’t notice. You were too focused on Genji suddenly bringing the bat down hard on Ichikas back knocking her down before swinging up and hitting Hitoshi.

Your voice died in your throat watching the scene unfold. Hanzo pulled Hitoshi to his feet before punching him across the face so hard it broke his jaw. Genji swung it down on his legs breaking them in several places. Ichika got up screaming and pulling at the two trying to save your ex...

From the shadows of the car park several tattooed men in suits stepped out, they all looked at Sojiro... he nodded. Genji and Hanzo both stepped back, dropping Hitoshi’s now dead body to the concrete allowing the thugs to take over and deal with Ichika. You watched in horror as they flogged the living hell out of her... her screams burned into your mind...

“Y/N...” Sojiro whispered gently turning your head to face him. His expression wasn’t angry, but it wasn’t happy either, it was serious but... soft as it always was when he looked at you. “They don’t deserve you. Or your pity... they’ll never bother you again.” He smiled.

You nod, your whole body was trembling, you couldn’t make a sound. You were in shock. “Come, lets go home and then will see how you feel about dinner.” He says as the car pulled up. The omnic driver stepped out and opened the doors. Hanzo and Genji got in first, as Sojiro sat you in your seat you caught a glimpse of Ichikas face, still alive, still screaming, bloody, broken... they’d wiped that smug smile off her face for good... you felt guilty, but... part of you felt so good...

Sojiro got in and closed the door, his body keeping you from seeing anymore. He placed his arm around you and held you close. And here you sat, in an expensive car, with three extremely dangerous men. You look at Hanzo and Genji who were busy cleaning the blood off of themselves, you heard Genji muttering about it staining.

Hanzo looked up and smiled catching your gaze... it’d seem both the boys approved of your relationship with their father... you smile back and tiredly rest your head against Sojiro once more... Maybe... this would be okay...

———

~I had a dream... I got everything I wanted~

———

The car pulled up back at Hanamura castle. The boys jumped out first and rushed off inside to get cleaned up, undoubtably they had more than a little blood in their clothing.

Sojiro stepped out and lifted you back into his arms. He’d been silent the whole drive. He took you back to the room you’d woken up in, it was pretty clear now that this was in fact his room. “...I’m... sorry you had to see that Y/N...” he says removing his tie after he set you down on the bed.

You couldn’t answer, you couldn’t even find the words to after what you’d witnessed... “Y/N...” He says softly.

After a moment you willed yourself to look up at him. He was shirtless now, his body was god like. Perfectly toned muscles, smooth skin adorned with scars, and a giant black dragon tattoo that started at his neck and twisted around his torso. You assumed it kept going down to his leg but his trousers cut off your view. It was the same dragon from your dream... you were unsure if you should ask him about it but.. right now you weren’t sure about anything really...

You blushed and looked down shyly. He chuckled a little at the cute display of bashfulness. “Look at me Y/N...” he says kneeling down in front of you. You sheepishly obeyed looking at him. You locked your eyes with his gaze and felt entranced, you couldn’t look away... you didn’t want to...

“I’m sure it’s obvious what I actually do for a living by now my dear... but I assure you... I’ll keep you far away from any of my yakuza dealings... I never meant for you to see that... my temper got the better of me, I should have held off but...” he clenched his jaw, “They hurt you...” he sighed.

You trembled remembering the ordeal, but, after a moment you settled. Sojiro did that to protect you, to save you... he didn’t have to but... part of you couldn’t help but feel they deserved it. Even still, your lip quivered as tears threatened to pour.

He suddenly leaned in and kissed you. You gasped in surprise, but after a moment all your doubts, all your fears... everything melted away... you leaned into his touch as he pulled you into his lap deepening the kiss. His hand trailed down and rested on your waist, he wasn’t looking for sex, not tonight... Tonight he just wanted to hold you and keep you safe.

After a few blissful minutes you both broke the kiss gasping for air. Your eyes were dewy and your lips pink and swollen from the passionate embrace. “Let me look after you Y/N...” he says pressing his forehead to yours. “Let me give you everything you deserve... everything You want.” He whispered looking into your eyes.

You nod and lean in kissing him softly before pulling away. “Please... look after me...” you whisper. He kissed you back. “I will...” he sighed as a smile crept onto his lips once more.

It was comfortably silent for a moment as you rested your head against his chest, the skin on skin contact felt so nice, you didn’t realise how deprived of it you were. Your stomach suddenly growled and your face reddened as Sojiro laughed. “Oh, right, dinner!” He chuckled. You’d give anything to hear him laugh more often.

“Let’s get ready, the boys can come along too, they want to know more about their future step mother.” He smiled. Your face went a deeper shade of red and you buried your face into his neck shyly. You were so happy you couldn’t handle it.

He smiled and planted another soft kiss on your forehead. “Care to share a bath with me?” He whispered. You nodded maybe a little too eagerly. He couldn’t help but chuckle. He scooped you up and kissed you once more on the lips before whisking you away to the bathroom.

It’d still be a long while before you’d be better, but Sojiro would be there every step of the way to hold your hand and assure you you were loved. But for now, it’d seem you finally got everything you wanted.

...

~But when I wake up I see...you, with me...~

...

[darktimesdarkvibes]

Yandere!Taecyeon (2PM) Headcanons

July 11, 2021 | 1,561 words

Series masterlist

Assumes reader is an adult, but includes for if you have an age gap

Taec's is the darkest post in this series (but there's still far darker yandere posts out there, so just take the tws into account)

Gender-neutral reader I think

tw: age gap, toxic behavior, mention of non-con kiss, short depiction of non-con cuddling, intimidation, restraint, manhandling, gaslighting mention, manipulation, kidnapping, murder, yandere (which is basically thinking you are "in love" with someone but actually you should see a psychiatrist and that's really not a joke. This character trope can become very sick and violent and abusive at their worst, though I tend to go for the softer variety. They are often possessive, over-protective, delusional, etc.)

I don’t believe Taecyeon is actually like this nor do I condone the unhealthy behaviour in this post

Taecyeon is a pretty traditional yandere

Doesn't care a whole lot about an age gap. He likes who he likes at the end of the day

It will give him pause if you are around ten years apart but he gets over it quickly

Protective but also very possessive in certain situations

Gaslighter and manipulator as well

Feels like he's the only one who really "gets" you and vice-versa, and tells you so repeatedly

He’d like you see his strength as something he’ll use to protect you, and he doesn’t want to hurt you

But in a pinch he’ll use it to intimidate you if necessary

Overall he just wants you to remain aware that he’s just a much larger and stronger individual than average, especially as odds are you are not built like him

(Although on the off-chance you are, my reader, that’ll just make him try even harder with you to achieve a similar effect)

He likes that you remember his strength and size, because he hopes it will make you realize that you are safer with him than without him

It gives him a bit of a thrill that you know he's bigger than you

And even if he denies to himself that part of the reason he wants you to recognize it is it might intimidate you, and therefore make you “stay in line”, that is a potential benefit and he knows it

However whenever you acknowledge it he loves it

Especially if you mention how he could probably beat another guy in a fight or protect you, he gets feels warm in his chest and gets excited all at once

He knows he's hot and uses it from day one

Going off of that point and the points about safety and intimidation and all that from above, he’s going to make sure you see him shirtless. Like, live and in-person

He’s going to try to make it happen when you are alone together as well

This is both to amplify the effects mentioned above, and to push more intimacy into your relationship, even if you are not officially romantically involved yet

He won't limit it to one time either

He wants you to see him

Overall tries really hard to make you laugh though too

Acts very sweet/cute until he's not (more on that later)

A very touchy boyfriend, he always wants to be holding hands or standing/sitting as close to you as possible

Actually he automatically puts an arm around you, unless you demote him to hand-holding for some reason

Even if it seems like a situation where that would be inappropriate

He especially does this in public, so even though he’s confident he’s not immune to territoriality

Even if you do have an age gap, he doesn't have that "parental" vibe that Minjun and Nickhun sometimes have

It feels more like you two are on a similar level bc he's so goofy

But if he just so happens to have helpful experience then he will offer some guidance, so if you have an age gap it may happen occasionally

It just has a less parental vibe and more of the typical “senior-in-life” or “friend’s older brother” kind of vibe

Flirts quite physically even before dating, and comes off as kind of cocky

Quite forward and persistent, and likes to fluster you a bit if possible

Which is another reason why he'll make sure you see him shirtless

But he also wants you to happily reciprocate his attention

He also just touchy with you in general though, even before you are dating and when he’s not really flirting

Doesn’t stalk you so much, but when you are in the same room (which he makes sure happens as often as possible) he is always watching you, to the extent that you might well pick up on it

He will stalk you though if he has gone a long time without seeing you (it's got to be a couple times a week at the very very least)

He also will if he is having a rough day and you're firm that you can't hang out with him (otherwise he's been known to tag along while you are just running errands because he is so attached to you)

If he hasn't seen you for a while he gets sulky

Gets visibly angry and more impulsive if someone messes with you

If they intend to harm you or if they actually do harm you then they’re totally fucked

He’s going to kill them, but first he’ll scare them and make them suffer

But because he’s pissed he ends up killing them pretty quickly

He just can't stand the sight of them and he wants them gone

He won't go that far with just anyone, because he's pretty confident that he should be your first choice in a mate, but when he's pushed he'll do it

Like if someone just flirts with you a little then he’ll just step in and get rid of them, then he’ll forget about them

But if they make you actually uncomfortable or worse, then they’re dead

Overall his thinking regarding you can get kind of primal

Hence why I used the word "mate" before

It’s his own word choice

That’s really another core reason he wants you to see his strength

He wants to show off that he should be your first pick

He’s also more likely to kidnap you

Will use force to restrain you if necessary and possible, and again it’s not a bad deal for him if he can be physically very close to you while simultaneously reminding you that he’s stronger than you

It's not even so much overpowering you itself that he likes, because he wants you to be happy

He's just got a weird fixation

He's also a weird kidnapper though because he’ll be trying to keep the atmosphere really light and fun as if you aren’t being held captive

He’ll make jokes and suggest games to play

He also doesn’t feel super guilty about it because he probably feels justified

Perhaps you found out he killed one or more people for you, so he didn't see another option

Or you were going to leave him

Even if he's not very guilty, he’ll still be upset that you’re upset though, and will be wanting Stockholm Syndrome or something to kick in, both for his benefit and so you're happier

He’s a bit impatient and frustrated by the wait, but he doesn’t really take it out on you

Might force a kiss or two over the course of your early relationship, but no more than that

Especially if you clearly don't want it, he'll back off on that and may switch to forehead kisses

He may also force some cuddles. For example, some spooning as you’re tied to a bed

He’s totally calm and blissfully asleep with his arm around you, and all you can hear is his even breathing and perhaps some light snoring

Meanwhile you are in a fight-flight-freeze response, until you are finally so exhausted that you fall asleep

But then you wake up and he really hasn't done anything to you

He really did just want to cuddle

So it is pretty confusing for you, which will probably work in his favor

If you are off your guard and confused, then it’s easier for him to manipulate you

He may also put on a movie and cuddle with you while you are restrained, and act like nothing is amiss. He'll be all laughter and smiles and will act very innocent and soft with you in his arms

Which is again confusing

If you give him attitude or struggle, then he'll either try to soothe you or he'll be firm with you to restrain you

"Hey! Hey... It's okay, I won't hurt you..."

Or,

"Stop that. You know it won't get you anywhere."

He forces cuddles because first of all, he wants to. But also because he thinks it might help you get used to him and your new situation

Because there’s no way he’s just letting you out of it

When you express that you want to leave, he may well belittle you a bit by treating what you want as a joke

Because really in his point of view it's laughable that you would leave

"Come on, you know you're not allowed!" he says with a smile

But if you keep it up he'll get firmer

"You know that's not gonna happen."

So he’s a little bit delusional and unstable

First time together:

For your first time together he's gentle but he's firm

So somehow you simultaneously feel safe, but it goes without saying that he's the one in control

He's leading you where you need to go, and he may well even place your hands for you on his body

Or pin them down

He will never do anything you don't want, but he likes to take the lead and show some physical power and have his weight over you

Pretty much anything wild you wanna do in the future he's probably up for

Very open to suggestions

But he wants to remain in-control

That’s non-negotiable

Good dirty talk

“Yeah just like that baby”

“I make you feel good, right?”

Overall the man is fucked up but in a hot way

[minjoonalist]

Buzzkill | Ksj. 18+

Pairing: Boss!Seokjin x Driver!Reader

Rating: Mature

Genre: Request, PWP

Word: 6k

Discription: In which your boss has a consistent streak of being the biggest wet blanket.

Warnings: soft dom!Jin, sub!reader, penetration, fingering, unprotected sex they have sex on a stolen car, cursing, explicit wording, slight degradation, Quickie 

A/N: so this is request I received and decided to turn it into a mini fic for a cute little bean, I’m sorry took a second but I do hope you enjoy it sweetie! 😘

———

———

There was nothing more thrilling than the violent purr of the engine surrounding your senses, the harsh wind whipping through your hair, the exhilarating sound of power that brought you and your crew mates through the dark silent streets of an unknown neighborhood and especially the pride that came with knowing everyone would end up praising you for your extraordinary skills as a getaway driver. You’d only known them for about three weeks, but that was plenty of enough time to showcase your abilities and impress them. They would compliment you, lifting your ego for the complicated turns and cheering you on for the risky maneuvers that allowed all of you to get off scot free with more than five hundred thousand dollars...you loved it, every single part of it.

It was moments like this where Jimin snaps his hands to applaud your fearless energy, Hoseok, the personified can of sunshine boosts you for whipping the fast car in front of a massive truck as a means to shake the three police cars chasing you down the highway. The kid, known as Jungkook- widening his eyes in amazement and slight fear once that same truck misses all of you by a hair as you exited fast lane.

It was a thrill and one you found yourself living off of recently.

The adrenaline and rush of everything you had done, bringing life to the boring, mundane one you’d use to live before. How you were just some pretty accountant by day, kissing the asses of rich old men with too much privilege on their hands- but only to turn around and take care of it for them by night time...in other words you were robbing them blind and just the thought alone always had you grinning ear to ear, even while you turned the unharmed vehicle into the hidden garage that your crew mates owned. It was fun, yet rewarding every time and nothing anyone did could ever ruin that-

“That was dumb.”

“Excuse me?”You balk.

All too quickly, the rush of your misdeed had drained away from your body and suddenly the air had gone incredibly still. The three men currently residing in the back of the car, pauses just as perplexed as you were in the driver’s seat- your eyes glued to the platinum blonde male staring you down in the passenger.

Arms crossed, his pearly teeth nibbling on a silver lip ring- Jin, otherwise known as Kim Seokjin and your boss, meets you with an unimpressed gaze “You heard what I said, that was stupid and reckless.” He continues, voice devoid of any kindness as well as having irritation enter those black irises.

You shake your head, blinking a couple of times just to make sure you’re understanding him and maybe you weren’t in some dream. “I’m confused...what are you talking about?” your voice lifts slightly with outrage while you turned the key in the ignition to shut the car off.

Jin’s face only hardens “Don’t make me repeat myself, that bull crap stunt you pulled back there could’ve nearly killed us. We were lucky that truck driver only hesitated from hearing the police sirens just before that exit...like I said, dumb.” The tense outburst between all of you, was enough to throw the entire atmosphere and stun you all into silence.

Well all except Hoseok, as the optimistic member, he suddenly reaches forward to pat Jin on the shoulder from the back “Hey man, She was great back there- Lighten up.”

“Yeah Hyung, the important thing is that we’re all alive and we each have a hundred thousand dollars in our pockets without anyone catching on.” Jungkook decides to chime in as well, peering around for confirmation- which he does receive. “There's no telling what could have happened if she didn’t.”

You on the other hand didn’t reply to the hurtful insult of the soured male beside you and neither did Jimin, Too busy trying to cope with the foreign reaction of your driving skills and that you were being scolded for actually doing your Job. As you sat there listening to the both of them defend your honor, you’d hoped some of it might have gotten to the quiet grouch raining in on your thrill, but instead it only increased his anger. Which only caused Seokjin to turn his attention to the three men in the back.

He sends an expectant look to Hoseok “I’m sorry...do you and Jimin not have money in the back of this car to go count?” He presses harshly “Instead of worrying about the brat, I suggest you tend to your duties.” Seokjin snaps his fingers, causing the dark haired male to flinch and send you all a beaten look before backing down. Within the next few seconds Hoseok opens his back seat door, getting out grumpily and causing a chain for Jimin to follow him. They both walk around to the back of the car, both of them coming into your vision on the rearview mirror. You catch sight of Jimin, a short wink coming from him with two hits to the closed trunk signaling you to pop it open.

Immediately, you oblige.

Meanwhile Jin turns around to Jungkook, the poor kid’s Adam Apple bobbing up and down as your boss looks at him sternly. “Well?��

“Um, I-I should probably help them?” He says a bit unsure, his pitiful posture within the middle seat, making your soft spot for him ache.

His knees knocked together, rough hands rubbing nervously across his muscular thighs- which makes you wonder how he could possibly be so wrecked from one man and yet keep a calm composure when facing the lethal obstacles of obtaining glorious amounts of money. Nonetheless, you don't have much time to process before the kid is scurrying out of his seat, doing the same as his friends and opening the back seat’s door to let himself out-leaving the both of you inside with silence.

“...Well that was uncalled for.” You finally mumble after a few seconds go by.

From beside you, Seokjin Sighs tiredly- almost ruefully before completely ignoring you. The skip in your heart beat from the situation only serves to remind you of how much adrenaline you still had running through your system.

Just like that, Seokjin had immediately ruined the mood like always and if that weren't enough to have you fuming from the buzzkill, then what he said next did him no Justice. “Aw the brat can’t handle criticism all of a sudden?”

Your face turns sour “I can when that person isn’t being a dick.”

“It's never stopped you before.”He scoffs “ Pointing out a selfish move like that doesn’t make me the bad guy Kiddo, unfortunately for you, you have a hard time seeing that fault.”

Your anger spikes, watching as he rests his head back. Even more now that the adrenaline in you had become noticeable and part of you wondered if he was riling you up on purpose.

It wouldn't be the first time…Seokjin had pissed you off plenty of times before in-fact the man had been giving you a hard time since the first day you began. You couldn’t recall a single memory where you and your boss had a pleasant conversation with each other, not when you brought him the damaged and stolen vehicle of your ex to his garage and especially not when you had to explain the wreckage it’d received after you crashed it in an impromptu street race after your break up.

Now that you were thinking about it, you remembered how you even managed to land the job in the first place…Right, because maybe it didn’t help that your ex happened to be very good customer of the garage owner and that if it weren’t for him- you’d be facing a few years behind bars at the moment. Agreeing to never tell the poor soul the whereabouts of his precious child unless you agreed to work a few jobs for him.

Before then, he’d already been aware of your talent, hearing about it constantly from his babbling friend and always dreading the long convos of another man bragging about his girlfriend, who ‘knows how to drive a stick shift in more ways than one’. You grimaced from the crude comment when Jin had mentioned it to you and it’d been a pleasure knowing he wouldn't be able to say it anymore, Although the man himself had no problem bringing it up just to toy with you on the matter.

So yeah you kind of owed it to him, especially when he’d taken the liberty to fix the car up for you...but still...It doesn’t mean he gets to be an ass right now.

“You’re right Jin, It's not like I'm risking my life too,” The man rolls his eyes as soon as you speak “-Or that I managed to lose three police cars and a helicopter that nearly caught us from a misdirection you gave prior.” You huff out from your nose, your face turning so red Seokjin could've sworn he’d seen steam coming from your ears.

He then hears it before he sees it, the sound of an opening car door and shuffling coming from his side, only to see you clamber out of your seat angrily and turn his way. “You know what, forget it, we got the money... If you think what I did was selfish, fine, but I’m done, I did what you asked and I got us the hell out of there. So do us all a favor and take that damn stick out of your ass for once.” You snap at the older man, not giving him a chance to reply before slamming the car door in his face and also not noticing the way he shamelessly eyes you from his seat.

From behind the car, all three men freeze from your sudden outburst- their shocked expressions morphing while seeing someone so calm suddenly go-off on the most intimidating person here. You clear your throat from the awkward air surrounding you…maybe now would be a good time to leave. You think to yourself, your feeting shifting to turn away until one final sound of a slammed car door stops you as well.

Seokjin steps out, his own aura turning for the worst, but he doesn't plan to take it out on the others. No in-fact even as the three quickly move into action from seeing him appear as well, he doesn’t spare them glance when his eyes ignite on fire from your words. Seokjin’s nostrils flare, inked arms flexing at his sides under a light pink button down and the back of his neck gone completely red, bringing the tiniest bit of fear in you, that you’d gone too far.

Oh and you did.

“Jungkook.” The air practically vibrates with the bass of Seokjin’s voice. The younger stops in between Hoseok and Jimin, eyes widened with curiosity of hearing his name.

“Y-Yes?” he answers quickly.

Seokjin glances at him, an honest emotion written on his face- giving you whiplash from the sudden change of character. “Go home. It's late and the last thing I need is for your older brother to jump down my throat about where you’ve been. Tell Namjoon I’ll be making your drop Tomorrow morning.” He says with finalty. Namjoon...That name itself was enough to punch you in the gut and had it not been for the crippling rush plaguing your body- you’d be feeling quite nauseous at the mention of your ex-boyfriend.

At first Jungkook makes no effort to move completely bewildered by the sudden order “I...but-”

Jimin gives him a light shove to break his trance. “Go, before you piss him off even more -we got it from here.” he whispers but not low enough that you couldn’t catch it from your side of the car.

Jungkook, looks around to all of you for the last time tonight, muttering a silent confirmation before slowly backing off and heading in the opposite direction. No doubt heading out to his own car. After that is done Seokjin barks the simple orders to the two others “Count and leave.” Insisting how late it is for them as well and if he saw them again tonight- they’ll have more to worry about than whether or not they make it home.

Unlike Jungkook, the both of them agree with no hesitation, grabbing what was left in the trunk and heading off somewhere deeper into the garage without so much as glancing your way or saying goodnight. A strange way to act, considering they were always the first ones to do so and with that- you couldn’t stop the sinking foreboding in the pit of your stomach.

Oh.

Finally Seokjin comes back to you, expression blank and yet you could still feel the cold chill draping down your spine from the look- A strange mix of adrenaline with the beginnings of a newfound lust rising in your abdomen from the wolfish gaze he sends your way. Across from his side of the car, He snaps his fingers once again and points to you. “Come here.” He doesn’t question and neither do you, your body on autopilot as your slow footsteps reaches his ears. Each step felt non-existent as if you were walking into a trap and it was too late to turn back. You swallow, frowning up at the tense man staring at you while you walk around the car. Once close enough, you stop a few feet away from him, the butterflies in your stomach sending alarms to your head that you had found yourself in this situation with Seokjin.

Strange how it quickly turned to excitement.

He gives you a once over, narrowed eyes zoning in specifically on how far you’d allowed yourself space. He suddenly meets your eyes “Do you like pissing me off?” The male could only ask, crossing his arms together- your own eyes flickering to the tattooed biceps bulging out from the action.

You swallow in your very dry throat. “I could ask you the same thing, you’ve grown quite the record.”

He arches a brow, face hardening from the reply and he suddenly takes a step forward, beginning to circle opposite of the car and towards you. “ I’m not trying to be an ass, y/n.” He starts cautiously.

“You’ve been an ass since the first day we met,” You sputter in disbelief watching him take another slow step. “admit it you don’t like me because you think I broke your friend’s heart. Good news, it's the other way around.” You point out wearily, subconsciously taking a step back of your own towards the hood of the car.

It was no secret how bad of a break up you and your ex had and if anyone knew, it was definitely Jungkook. The constant bickering and fighting between you and his older brother, the poor thing had to have heard every horrible word you both spat at each other within their home and there was no surprise that even he wanted you to end it. Truth be told, you both were wrong, a bad match to put it lightly and the biggest problem seemed to be how easy it was for Namjoon to wear his heart on his sleeve. He was too jealous, too demanding, too sensitive and It's probably why anyone would think you were the one who hurt him, that definitely wasn’t the case.

Seokjin’s Features turn down in confusion, before a sly grin breaks across his face, a reaction you weren't expecting and his brows furrowing in as if the words you were speaking are absolute gibberish. “Is that what you think? That's... Interesting.” he ponders out loud, amusement clear as ever in his voice. “I mean you’re wrong, but you’re right I don’t like you.”

Your face goes flat, from where you stand Seokjin has gotten significantly closer- your entire body on high alert as your boss begins to tower over you. He tilts his head, your instincts screaming at you to run away and yet you don’t move a single inch- your heart pounding in your chest. “Your mouth and narcissistic tendencies piss me off to no end, but you can drive so Namjoon was right about that and If I actually gave a shit about your past relationship- I wouldn’t constantly find myself wanting to fuck a brat against his car at this moment.” He shrugs while bringing himself even closer, those sinful eyes swirling with a much darker intention.

“I-I what?”

Your entire nervous system jolts from the confession, the electrifying mixture of arousal strumming through you more than ever as the visual had gone to your head. It’s not like you’ve never thought of it before, After all you’d be lying to say you weren’t attracted to him- he was insanely gorgeous. However the problem came whenever Seokjin would go out of his way to comment negatively to you or for instance dismiss your every attempt whenever you tried to have a decent conversation with him.

But now that was different, So much that part of you couldn’t comprehend the sudden force of his lips crashing down on yours. A surprised yelp leaving your body from the soft plush fiercely molding against your mouth, accompanied with the searing cold of his silver lip ring. The kiss is completely unexpected and yet for some reason hot licks of arousal pool around within your stomach easily. You breathe deeply into him, two long arms coming to wrap tightly within the curve of your waist and Seokjin’s hand snakes slightly under the warmth of your shirt, resting at the small of your back.

All over, the butterflies you were feeling had gone completely haywire, your body being pressed firmly into his hard chest and on instinct your own hands had braced themselves onto his broad shoulders.

He groans, a startling vibration that has you rubbing your thighs together, managing to catch his attention in the process and Seokjin can’t help but to run his tongue across the bottom seam of your lips. It feels as if your body had naturally melted into him, the dominance in his kiss leaving you breathless and your head had begun to spin as he moves to suck on your bottom lip- wanting entry so bad he had even sank his teeth to elicit a moan from your end.

“Damn I’ve wanted to do that for a while now.” His husky chuckle has you keening into him, the hands on your back roaming up further, when he lifts you more into him. By now Seokjin had managed to slip in completely, the wet muscle maneuvering in every way it pleased, taking over completely and tasting you to the fullest.

At some point you’d managed to get completely lost in Seokjin, all your previous thoughts vanishing within his embrace and slowly you could feel your panties dampening from his touch- a violent shiver racking down your spine once his cold fingertips grazes all the way up on your heating skin. Your back arches, the thick bulge of his erection digging into your abdomen and you nearly grow goosebumps everywhere. Without noticing, your boss had managed to back you up against the car, a muscular thigh parting itself between your legs and rutting up into you, causing you to shiver pleasurably into his hold.

With his lips continuing their attack on yours, you’re still reminded of the silver ring digging into you, your own impulse to latch onto it, teeth tugging slightly to push a faint gasp from him. He feels an immediate twitch in his pants, his own arousal getting to his head and He suddenly parts- “Fuck okay.” You hear him breath, panting as the air finally makes its way back into your lungs and it doesn’t dawn on you what exactly just happened. Perhaps it could have been from the adrenaline running through your system or maybe that it’s been a while since you’ve been with anyone except Namjoon- but slowly you felt yourself slipping away, your fucked out gaze meeting Seokjin’s feral one and you held no ounce of regret.

“Lets try not tugging on that.” He suddenly gives a dry laugh, but there's no denying the deep lust residing in it.

“S-Sorry, we probably should have stopped sooner.” he hears you breathe in response, your eyes clouded with a long gone emotion and there was nothing more he wanted than to bend you over and fuck you mercilessly.

He’s wanted that for a while now, often finding himself wondering what it would be like to have the prideful little vixen rendered helpless under his touch. He wasn’t lying when he said he didn’t like you, but damn if you didn’t turn the man on beyond what would even make sense. To him, you were infuriating and at the same time a forbidden fruit to be eaten. How you’d come to the conclusion he disliked you because of Namjoon he wouldn’t understand, but what he does know is that you were a wild card and one his friend thought could be tamed. He was wrong, and Seokjin could tell the second you brought in the poor scrapped vehicle without an ounce of guilt.

“You’re not sorry.” he whispers lower than ever, catching you by surprise. “If anything you’re the opposite...you’re practically grinding yourself on me.”

Your hands dig nervously into the cloth of his shirt, an untamable throbbing striking you between your thighs proving the truth behind his statement. As if completely drawn to him, all you do was wish his lips were back on yours- your eyes switching repeatedly to stare up at him and that's when you feel it, a movement so slow and torturous it nearly had your knees buckling.

Somehow without being noticed, His hand had begun to move from behind your back, coming around between the both of you and landing at the front of your jeans. He suddenly pops the button open, your zipper being tugged down afterwards and Seokjin watches you cautiously as he slips his hand in and over your clothed heat. His lips part at the feel, your slick wetness drenching the frail material on his hand. “And quite frankly, you’re a terrible liar...aren’t you kiddo?”

You whimper pitifully rutting yourself down onto his hand, enjoying the pressure of his fingers gliding over your slit and rubbing teasing circles around your clit.

“...please.” you find yourself saying to him, your hands clutching him tighter.

“Please? That's new, but I don’t know what you’re asking for.” He frowns, applying more pressure between your folds and then switching to pull your underwear aside. You gasp at the new pleasure, your pussy becoming more and more sensitive to his touch and it was foreign to suddenly feel this way for him, at this point you didn’t care.

“Jin just fuck me already.” You groan, two of his fingers sliding downwards and deeper into your folds, stopping right at your entrance before one sinks in and then the other. Your body tenses, pressing yourself closer to him and he smirks wickedly-wanting to hear exactly those words coming from your mouth.

Seokjin suddenly leans down, bringing his lips close against your ear “That's no way to speak to your boss- If you really want my cock, you’re gonna have to be nicer about it...So let's try again hm?” You gasp, feeling the slow thrusts of his slender digits before he curls them inside. He hums slowly, soft lips caressing over your earlobe and trailing down more to place a soft kiss on your neck. “What are you asking for y/n?” Seokjin tries once more, licking and nibbling on the soft flesh while fucking his fingers a little harder into you.

This time your knees really do buckle, a soft mewl coming deep from within your chest and you don’t hesitate to breathe out what you wanted. “Jin please I need you to fuck me.”

He hums out again, this time as if to think more on the decision...as if he was actually going to change his mind. “Now?”

“ Y-Yes.” He hears your reply, so soft and desperate almost able to rub off on him in the process.

“Right here?” By now you could hear the smile on his lips, which was strange since you’d actually never seen one on him. The idea makes you roll your eyes while muttering another yes, but you bite your lip immediately afterwards- your stomach swirling with warmth from the new action.

It doesn’t last long however, in the next second Seokjin was slipping his hand away from you, placing one last kiss at the bottom of your neck before pulling back with hunger swirling fierce in his eyes. “You know, you sound a lot hotter when you beg.” He teases watching your face screw up into one of your famous glares.

“Fuck o-” You’re being moved before you could finish. He grabs your waist, twisting it with enough force to have you turning away from him and presses your front towards the car.

“Bend.” He grunts when you take too long to catch on.

You yelp in again in surprise, a huge palm pushing towards the middle of your back and suddenly you’re doing just as he says- bending forward over the warm hood of the car. Your ass pushed back towards his front and unable to see anything he was doing. Your body trembles from the new position, feeling Seokjin’s hands run soothingly down your sides towards the back of your ass- giving it a harsh squeeze. “Good little brat.”

Bent away from him, you silently await the moment his fingers would then latch onto the band of your pants and undies. You bite your lip, the cold air rushing around the heated flesh of your ass, his knuckles grazing your hips as he tugs them down to the middle of your thighs. Your pussy clenches to the praise he gives you, wetness seeping out and down your exposed core while also making Seokjin groan out from the sight. He takes in another breath- mouth watering to your drenched core and wanting so badly to taste you in the moment, but there just wasn’t enough time.

“Jin hurry.” you whimper, feeling a single finger glide up your slit once again- taking the opportunity to sway your ass in front him, inviting him.

“Fuck, ” He swallows, his own hands flying for his zipper and you can hear as he undoes himself behind you.

Part of you wondered just for a second if he’d happened to have any protection on him- realizing how you both were out in the open and-“O-Oh.” You suddenly hiss into the silent air.

Seokjin, grips himself at the base of his dick and presses into one side of your cheek to spread you out for him. Thank god he’d prepped you before, your heart racing in your chest as the warm mushroom tip presses into you, gliding up and down your bare core. Eventually when it’s coated enough he stops just outside your entrance, pressing himself in and begins to sink himself slowly into your tight walls.

Hissing again, you gasp at the unbelievable stretch of his girth, your pussy slowly taking him in and molding around him almost to a point where it was slightly uncomfortable- however despite his nature, Seokjin is gentle about it. He rocks himself in, giving you time to adjust to the size of him and there was no denying the gradually growing pleasure that was beginning to take over your body.

“Yes…” you gasp out breathlessly, hands bracing under your body once you feel him reach deep inside you, able to touch the special area of nerves that made up your g-spot...you start to become restless.

“Fuck you’re so tight, I need to move.” His voice comes out strained, grip on your hips tightening a bit more, you simply whimper in return while pushing yourself back onto him fully. In unison, the both of you groan out in pleasure, his slow rocking stuttering from the action.

Seokjin, Takes in a breath- pulling himself slowly out of your heat and snaps his hips back into you. He does this again, pulling back and thrusting into you a bit harder before setting a comfortable pace. With another cry coming from you, it almost takes everything in him not to lose control, his slower thrusts giving you enough to get off and still you need more.

Oh yeah it's definitely the adrenaline.

You whimper, voice cracking as his length hits your g-spot over again. “More...p-please” you try biting your lip.

Seokjin hears you, the untamable emotion riding in his chest fluttering from the request. His hand leaves your hip to bury itself in the back of your head, fingers tangling in your hair to pull you up to him. You cry out, his grip twisting in your hair to turn your face towards him. When you do, your breathing stops, dark eyes lit with so passion in them you nearly melt right there.

“Do you want me to fuck you harder brat? Is that what you’re asking?” His deep and breathless voice vibrates on your back. Without thinking you’re nodding your head frantically, a desperate need is filling your eyes that has Seokjin’s will to hold back snapping in half.

Immediately he slams his lips back onto yours, the grip in your hair becoming painful as he pulls out to ram himself back into you. Your hands reach back, managing to latch onto his thighs and you can't help loud cries you set free into his kiss. Seokjin moans too, loving the feel of your body shaking under him and he slowly feels his own resolve. He suddenly breaks the kiss, knowing he wouldn’t be able to last much longer and Seokjin lets you fall forward again, suddenly taking a rougher turn to make you reach your release.

With a deeper snap of his hips, the delicious stretch of his cock begins to turn your legs to jelly, a louder moan falling past your lips and into the night air as another one of his powerful thrusts jerks your body forward. Your torso falls even more, the warmth from the hood caressing your chest and easily you were met with your fucked out reflection. Teary eyes, wild hair and a sweaty face twisted into ecstasy- you shut your eyes before the predicament could truly set in.

How the hell did you get here? Letting Seokjin fuck your brains out in such an open space and loving the thrill of it. His fingers deep within your hair, pulling and tugging you back towards him as he drills himself in and out of you repeatedly, bringing your awaiting orgasm closer and faster than ever, your eyes rolling to the back of your head.

“Such a good little slut, Who would've thought you’d be so whipped for my dick.” You hear him growl from behind you, a large hand connecting harshly with the soft skin of your ass. A tiny shriek is ripped from your throat and you then let out a tiny sob as your walls quivered around him from the action. He chuckles darkly, gripping harder onto your hips as he picks up the pace and begins to pound harder into you- loving every sexy ass moan that leaves your mouth every time he thrusts into you. “Oh the brat likes that? Do you like when I talk to you like a cock loving slut? You don’t want me to call you princess or baby girl?”

Your mouth parts in protest “I-...f-fuck Seokjin shut u-up, yes!” You cry out, As your nerves begin to prickle with the beginnings of your release- your sweaty hands squeaking up against the hood as they try to grab anything to anchor you down and before you know it- he's pressing down harder into your back, his other hand leaving your hair to come and rub frenzied circles around your clit.

“Oh shit, fuck you just gushed around me. I bet you’re going cum.” He pants, thrusts becoming relentless and overwhelming. “ Fuck, fuck yes- keep taking me just like that...wanna cum in this tight little pussy. Do you want to cum on my dick? W-wanna be a good little slut and let me cum in whats mine?”

“Yes J-Jin, Fuck yes!” By now you felt as if your body was going limp, your loud cries turning into drawled out moans and it could be accompanied by his grunts of pleasure as well as the connecting of his hips to your sore ass.

He swallows a fevered moan of his own “Then cum, show me who this pussy belongs to.”

You grow more butterflies in your stomach, hearing him call you his so suddenly when the guy had barely acknowledged you before. It was confusing to say the least, but all the while so fucking hot and you didn’t have the time to truly comprehend it- instead you allowed the pleasure to consume you. The strong feeling of intense warmth abruptly overtaking your body, your toes curling inside your shoes, a sharp squeak escaping your lips and Seokjin could feel your body stiffen under him as your legs shook sporadically from your powerful orgasm.

Seokjin growls out a guttural moan, His sloppy thrusts tipping him over once he feels your walls clenched tightly around him- bringing his orgasm on so suddenly, the next thing he knew, Seokjin was suddenly collapsing heavily over your back with a curse. “Shit!”

You pant trying to ride out your high, hips continuing to rock against him even as his cock swells in you. Sudden spurts of hot cum drench your walls and manages to trigger the aftershocks of your own release.

“Um wow.” You breath out, after staying in your position for a few minutes, both of you trying to catch your breath. Seokjin’s chest could be felt rising and falling heavily onto your back, his length softening within you and it was then then that you finally heard him speak.

“He was right.” Jin mumbles out into the now silent garage, making you frown in confusion.

“Who was?”

Seokjin presses his forehead into your back, his mouth twitching to hide a smile even though you couldn’t see him and his silence probably should have been a red flag for you, however you don’t press any further. Its until the small vibrations of his chuckles and the feel of his chest shaking behind you has you curious as why the man would say such a random statement after sex.

“Namjoon…” Seokjin is full on laughing and before you know it, he's lifting off of you and sliding himself out while making you hiss. Once the joke registers, you find yourself rolling your eyes and you're lifting yourself up as well, wincing from the stickiness between your thighs and that you would need to hurry home fast so you could clean up.

Watching him put himself together, you start to do the same- reaching for your pants to pull them up and you’re sending him a disgusted look while fastening your button “Don't Seokjin, please don’t say it.” You say as you then run your hand up to fix your hair.

Already done, he steps closer to you - sending you a devilish grin that you’d never seen before, the look shocking you in the process and you don’t understand why you were still feeling the strange flutter in your stomach, your adrenaline long gone. Suddenly he pulls you closer, a hand tipping under your chin to have you look up at him and then...

“you really do know how to drive a stick shift in more ways than one.” He whispers dreamily before cackling in an unattractive manner and you don’t think you’ve ever wanted to punch someone more.

“I regret having sex with you.”

[rosemary-is-in-pesterquest]

Terezi seriously deserves so much better... post canon would've been the perfect place to revive her friendship with both Dave and Karkat. but also, her and Vriska's relationship got totally shafted in post canon. for self proclaimed Vriska fans, they don't really seem to be including her? like they basically just replaced her with a bland teen version? what the hell was the point of that? to go off a bit: the most interesting parts of Vriska's story are centered around her traumatic upbringing, which she deals with in ways that make her difficult to love, and Terezi is tied to her through repeated attempts to love her anyway, in spite of how hard it can be.

the trolls actually have a lot of relationships where one person has to decide when to stick by someone, and when to give up. Sollux ends up in a kind of limbo state with Aradia... he still likes who she was, but she's not that anymore when we first meet her as a ghost. Kanaya is interested in Vriska for a bit, but eventually feels unappreciated and used after spending probably longer than she should've trying to become interesting to her. Feferi has to figure out how to give up on Eridan without it resulting in widespread destruction, and that threat is why their relationship is exhausting to her in the first place. and Terezi has probably the most complex conundrum of all with Vriska. the two of them grew up together, and spent a long time killing a lot of their peers. for Vriska, it was essential to her survival and she had no choice, while for Terezi, it was just a recreational activity... and this is why Terezi eventually feels more guilt over it, and is able to realize that she should try to reform herself. meanwhile, Vriska built so much of her identity and self worth around taking pride in her ruthless persona, that it seems inextricable from who she is.

Vriska can't give up her kill-or-be-killed ways, even when she doesn't need to appease her lusus anymore, because this is the metric by which she judges people, and she can't stand to see herself as a victim. to her, weakness makes you killable... the way her lusus threatened her taught her that. failure results in death. and that's what bothers her so much about Tavros. by the standards she grew up under, he shouldn't have even made it as far as he did. but he also didn't even grow up by the same standards as Vriska to begin with. his lusus is tiny and cute, and he's clearly never even been asked to do anything violent before. even the fact that he had a choice is a novel concept. he didn't earn the right to live... not the way Vriska had to. to her, that's not fair. he even wanders into a game called "fatal live action roleplaying" like... the word "fatal" is in the name, looking for a fun adventure. as if Vriska hadn't been using this game to hunt her peers all this time. and she's probably killed a ton of more capable trolls than Tavros. what gives him a pass compared to them? the basic existence of someone like Tavros is like a wound that Vriska can't stop picking at, even while she's too prideful to admit she would've wanted a better life than what she got. instead, she has to hold others to this ruthless standard. if she doesn't, she might have to admit that her struggle was optional, or that it might not have made any sense to demand that much murder from a child. she didn't have to be raised like that. but like hell she's gonna play the victim. and it's alienating to be hated because of the one thing you feel like you've really accomplished. nobody could ever stomach being proud of Vriska, so she does it herself. she only has herself to rely on anyway.

all of this signifies a person who is damaged. she's in survival mode all the time, and it prevents her from forming connections with people. and Terezi sees this. Vriska's connection to Tavros is unhealthy, not just because Tavros is being bullied, but because Vriska isn't moving on. she's still all wrapped up in the idealized superiority of power, and won't admit that she even needs anyone or anything, even though she's genuinely not okay with losing so many of her friends over the Scourge/Charge debacle. so many of them consider this a step too far, but Vriska has genuine trouble discerning what the difference is between this, and her whole lifetime's worth of behavior. this is what she's had to do, and they're all more horrified at her, than they are at the things that made it necessary for her to turn out this way. and they don't have any solutions either. none of her friends can say "oh, well you should've handled it this way. then we could accept you" because the morally responsible thing to do would've been to die. Vriska not existing could've technically saved a lot of lives... if Vriska isn't proud of her strength, she might have to actually start feeling guilty for what she's done. and if Vriska felt a level of guilt that others think is appropriate for what she's done, she'd basically be ruined. people consider her unsalvageable, and she knows they see her that way. it breeds mistrust, and leads to her making all her decisions on her own, without asking anyone's advice or permission. they won't forgive her for even being alive, so screw them anyway. it drives a deeper wedge.

and Terezi is the one who actually understands all of this. she gets it... she was there. but she also knows that it would be healthier for Vriska to admit that she doesn't have to, or want to, live that way anymore. pride be damned, the things they did were awful, and their behavior should change. Terezi always had less riding on her adherence to these standards, so she was able to discard them easier. and now that she's on the other side of it, she knows that the longer you spend acting like that, the more the shame stacks up in hindsight. Vriska is digging herself a hole, and it's painful to watch, because Vriska is still basically Terezi's best friend. it's a hard position... if Vriska is never held accountable for anything, and never suffers consequences, then she may never change. but Terezi also irrationally wants to forgive her. because Terezi also wants to forgive herself. she doesn't want to believe that either of them are irredeemable, but when she kills Vriska, it seems as though they both were. it feels like they were both ruined. from the very beginning, as kids growing up in a fucked up environment, they never stood a chance. it's why they needed each other.

I just really wish post canon could focus on these two healing. they're both so well written, and so complex and interesting... and I was even really liking the hints of John and Terezi picking on each other. let Terezi have low stakes contention with someone! shenanigans that don't result in death would be good for both her and Vriska tbh. and it'd be so funny cuz like, Vriska is fond of John, and Terezi is so peeved by him. I think Vriska really started healing by knowing John, cuz as a human, she has a blank slate with him, and he couldn't have been raised ruthless, even if he would've been adept at being that way. to Vriska, John is an alien and doesn't work on the same scale as her. it leaves the point of survivability pretty moot, so Vriska isn't viewing everything in terms of that with him. and it's nice. she has fun. she gets to feel like a kid in a way that she never got to, because everything really is so simple. what I wouldn't give for the three of them to be able to pal around on earth C, that'd be so interesting!

(I’m not gonna add anything bc this is just, so good)

[squirrel-moose-winchester]

Keeping Secrets

Title: Keeping Secrets

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Word Count: 2075

Square Filled: Castiel

Summary: Under the spell of a truth potion, Y/N reveals things to Cass that she makes him promise not to tell anyone, especially Dean. Cass agrees, but secrets tend to find a way of revealing themselves whether you like it or not.

Warnings: Fluffiness, Keeping Secrets, Misunderstandings, Mentions of Killing (not literal), violent threats, Innocent Angels, Language? (honestly, I my mind is so scrambled right now, I can’t remember if there’s any…), Mentions of Kinkiness, and I think that’s it.

Written for @spndeanbingo​ (round 2)

Disclaimer: No my gif. Credit to giuls from tenor.com. All mistakes are mine.

A/N: Secrets, man… so easy to keep, yet at the same time, so hard to keep as well. Or is it just me? A side effect of being a terrible liar? Lol. Well, there’s a fun fact about myself. I am a terrible liar! Happy Reading! xx

Hey, Cass told me. There’s nothing to be ashamed about, it’s OK.

When you read that text, your face went up in flames with embarrassment, and now, you were on a mission to find one very, soon to be dead, Angel who spilled the beans. You couldn’t believe Cass told Dean! You confided in him in full confidentiality! Hell, Cass promised to keep his mouth shut, that he’d never tell Dean, that you could trust him to keep your secret, but now you knew that you were wrong.

Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong!

“Castiel, when I get my hands on you, I’m going to throttle your stupid angelic neck!” you muttered to yourself, brows furrowed and lips morphed into a deep frown.

You stomped through the bunker looking for the blabbermouth. Still grumbling, you passed Jack’s room, the seemingly teenaged boy looking at you, as you ducked in, with a confused expression. When you didn’t respond to him after he called your name several times, he decided to follow you, wondering why you were acting so strange.

He picked up on a few key words you were saying: stupid, angel, kill, asshole, assbutt, and a few other choice words that he knew were inappropriate but didn’t quite understand what they really implied.

Next, you stormed into the kitchen finding Sam eating a salad. In your already foul mood, you scoffed at his choice of nutrition, rolling your eyes at the gentle giant of a man.

“Y/N? Are you okay?” He asked, looking at you and then to Jack, who shrugged in obliviousness.

“I’m fine,” you hissed, not meaning to snap at him. “Have you seen Cass?”

“Uh, no. He should be in here somewhere. He didn’t mention anything about leaving,” Sam provided.

“Okay, thanks,” you replied, tone still not very pleasant.

You marched onwards, Jack still trailing behind you. He wasn’t sure if you knew that he was following, or if you simply didn’t care, but Jack continued on regardless.

The two of you made it to the war room, the space void aside for a few empty beer bottles that was most likely left by Dean. Growling in disapproval, you walked into the library next, just in time to see Sam walk in from the other end.

“Cass, there you are. Y/N’s looking for you and she doesn’t seem very happy,” Sam warned just as you stepped in.

“Damn right I’m unhappy,” you confirmed, storming up to Cass. “I can’t believe you told Dean!”

“I don’t understand. What did I tell him that I wasn’t supposed to?” Cass questioned, the look on his face completely perplexed.

“Oh, you know what you told him!”

Cass squinted his eyes and tilted his head, a tell that told you he was trying recollect what he possibly could have said. Annoyed with him, you exclaimed in frustration. “I can’t believe you told Dean that I liked him!” you finally revealed, Jack and Sam’s eyes widening and brows raising.

“What?”

Your body froze when you heard the familiar deep voice echo through the library. You didn’t dare to look back, already knowing your face must be glowing with humiliation.

With wide eyes and mouth slightly ajar, Cass’ eyes went from you to the Dean, who had taken a few more steps closer and was now standing directly behind you, next to Jack. “Uh… Y/N,” Cass started, “I never disclosed any of that information to Dean,” the angel confessed.

“I don’t get it,” Jack interrupted. “I thought we all liked each other? You know, we’re a family?”

Sam cleared his throat at that, giving Jack an acknowledging smile. “Uh, yeah. We do like each other, but they’re talking about a different kind of like.”

“Like what? Like love?” the innocent boy blurted, the word love making you cringe.

“Whoa, whoa, hang on a second,” Dean took control of the room. “Y/N, you love me?” He asked, neck a little stretched out, eyes wide, and mouth hanging open with disbelief.

Shyly, you turned to face him, heart leaping when you instantly made eye contact. “Didn’t you already know that? You texted me that Cass told you.”

“What?” Cass quipped. “I did not tell him that,” he defended himself.

“No,” Dean confirmed. “When I texted you that, I was talking about the hunt.”

Your face went completely white. Just the other day, you and Cass had come home after what was supposed to be an easy hunt. You were adamant that the monster you were hunting was a vengeful spirit possessing innocent people, but it turned out to be a witch casting curses. It was that mistake that landed you in becoming a victim of said curse. A truth curse.

The witch worked at the diner where all the incidents happened. You figured that the ghost was attached to something or someone in the restaurant, but it was the witch mixing people’s drinks with her truth potion. That was how your secret was let out to Cass, but he had assured you that he wouldn’t tell anyone, that your secret was safe with him. And it was true, you told Cass how stupid you felt for not realizing that it wasn’t a spirit but a witch terrorizing the small town. You made a mistake and you weren’t the type that to brush off little mistakes like that. You took it to heart, like you were a bad hunter.

“Oh…” was all you could say at that point, feeling even more embarrassed, and stupid, that you already were.

“Uh, hey Cass, Jack, how about we go into the kitchen; give Dean and Y/N some privacy to talk.

The three of them left the room, heading into the kitchen. You were grateful at that but at the same time, you wished that he would have invited you along, but you knew that it was too late and you and Dean needed to have this talk.

“Y/N…” you flinched at the sound of your name.

Wanting to beat the bullet, you just let everything out on the table. “Look, I’m sorry okay? No one was supposed to know! I know you don’t feel the same way but I hope we can just forget all about this and pretend that it never happened. I was drugged out and didn’t really mean it,” you continued on until Dean stopped you.

“Y/N, stop. First of all, you weren’t drugged out, you were bewitched with a truth potion. Everything you said was the truth, not something you didn’t really mean.”

Your shoulders dropped knowing he was right. The only thing left now was to take the rejection. There would be no more fantasizing about all the what ifs because all those dreams were about to be crushed by the hard truth… Dean Winchester did not love you back. Great.

“Okay, I get it,” you sighed. “Look, I’m sorry. I know you don’t feel the same way, so I’ll do my best to get over you,” you told him.

“What? No!” Dean exclaimed. “Y/N, you don’t have to do that. Uh…” Dean’s demeanor suddenly changed and if you were reading his body language correctly, he seemed tense, timid… cute. No! Y/N stop it! Don’t think that way! “Uh, I actually kind of…”

In the kitchen, Sam leaned against the prep table, Cass sat at the table, while Jack stood in the middle of the room. “So...” Jack started, “when you said that they were talking about a different kind of like, you mean love?”

Sam met Jack’s gaze, “basically,” he answered.

“Okay… I don’t see what the problem is. Don’t we all love each other? I mean, it’s pretty much that same thing, right?” Jack questioned.

This time Sam let out a soft chuckle. “No, Jack. Y/N is in love with Dean… romantically.”

“Oh! Okay, I get it now. So Dean is in love with Y/N and now Y/N is in love with Dean! They both are in love with each other! That’s a really good thing, right?” Jack smiled, proud of himself for final grasping the situation.

“Yes, that is correct,” Cass answered instead. “But after we killed the witch and the potion wore off, Y/N told me not to tell Dean. But she ended up telling him herself instead, albeit it was unintentional.”

“I think this will be good for them. They deserve to be happy,” Sam grinned, actually glad that the truth was all out there.

Dean struggled to admit his own feelings. He wasn’t the type to talk about his emotions but if he wanted to have a future, like a real future, with you, then he had to tell you. He had to confess to you too.

“You actually kind of what?” you asked.

“Uh, I actually kind of… you know. I like you too,” he finally said it.

It was your turn to be dumbfounded. You weren’t sure if you heard him correctly, but at the same time you didn’t want to ask him to repeat himself, scared to find out that it was merely your delusional head playing tricks on you. It couldn’t be possible that Dean felt the same way, right?

“Y/N, did you hear me?” Dean inquired.

“I’m sorry, I don’t think I heard you correctly. I thought you said you felt the same way,” you giggled bashfully.

“Because I did.”

You froze at the confession. There was no denying it now. Dean had just confirmed that he felt the same way you did. The thought of how to proceed from there was short-circuiting your brain, not once ever thinking this was possible. Dean had said, on more than one account, that in this life, falling in love was impossible, that it would only end bad. You agreed with him, but that didn’t stop you from feeling the way that you felt, and now he was admitting that he had feelings. Those exact forbidden feelings he said hunters couldn’t have.

Having never planned for this unforeseen moment, you shifted your eyes from his to whatever you could find in the room. You were looking at an open book when you heard footsteps, and when you looked back to Dean, he was right there in front of you, his lips an inch away from yours. An audible gasp escaped you and Dean simply smiled.

��I thought you said hunters can’t have love,” you gulped, eyes trained on his invitingly pink lips.

“I say a lot of things Sweetheart, but if you’re willing, I’m willing to give this a try too. You know… give us a try.”

Averting your eyes to his, you searched for something that told you he was lying, that he didn’t mean it, but when you saw nothing but sincerity, you couldn’t help yourself. You lunged into him, arms wrapping around his neck and lips smashed against his in a needy fashion. Dean growled, his arms wrapping tightly around your waist as he hoisted you off the ground a little. When you pulled away, you were both breathless with matching dopey smiles stretched on each of your lips.

“Wow, Winchester,” you grinned.

“Better than you imagined?” he teased.

“So much better.”

“Everything okay in here?” Sam asked as he stepped back into the library, Cass and Jack in toe.

“Everything is great!” you beamed, taking your place beside your new boyfriend, hands intertwined.

“So are you two together now?” Cass questions, looking at your interlocked hands.

“Yup! All secrets are out. There’s nothing to hide anymore,” you assured.

“I see. Then can I ask you a question, since there are no more secrets?” Cass directed his question at you.

“Uh… go for it,” was you reply, not knowing you would soon regret it.

“When you were under the truth spell, you said you wanted Dean to punish you. To tie you up and punish you all night long. Spanking and choking you. I don’t understand why’d you want him to inflict pain on you.”

Your face went red as all eyes were on you. Jack had no idea what the hell was going on, but Sam gave you that horrified look, knowing he just heard something he wasn’t supposed to, or needed to know. Dean on the other hand was shocked at first, but quickly smirked at the notion.

“Cass!” you shouted it mortification. “I’m gonna kill you!” Just as you were about to attack him, a flutter of wings echoed through the room and he was gone. “Cass!”

--

A/N: You made it to the end! Thank you guys for reading! I appreciate you taking the time to read what I wrote! If you enjoyed it, please reblog to help share my fic, and leave a comment because it acts as fuel to keep writing and to keep posting! Y’all have a beautiful morning, day or night! xx

[what-breaks-my-heart]

Here are some brief thoughts on kdrama that started airing in 2020 that I've watched. I said brief, but those who have been following me would appreciate that this is indeed, brief.

The list is in alphabetical order.

1. 365: Repeat the Year (MBC)

Disclosure: I am a HUGE Lee Joon Hyuk stan. He is second only to Hyun Bin on my list. The fact that this drama is on the top of this list is a happy coincidence 🥰🥰

I was soooooooo excited when I knew Lee Joon Hyuk was to star in a new drama. MBC made the announcement of the drama late last year, and I was literally walking to the office when I saw the announcement on ig.

The premise of the drama was pretty straightforward. 10 people were given the chance to travel back in time exactly one year prior. Mysterious things kept happening to the people who took the trip, so our Detective Ji “Fluffy-Hair” Hyung Joo and webtoon writer Shin “Self-Hater” Ga Hyun joined hands to figure out what exactly happened.

Once they finally figured out what caused the mysterious cases, they faced a great dilemma on what to do, with our Fluffy Hair detective running as a fugitive.

The ending was really sad, and I really wished it ended differently, but the main character of the story was our Fluffy Hair detective, and him having to live on and reset the whole thing from the new past was a nice touch to the ending.

This drama was full of surprises, twist and turn, and it is certainly a drama I would consider rewatching in the future.

2. Do You Like Brahms? (SBS)

Many people criticised the second half of this drama. Apparently the year 2020 is the year when kdramaland keeps being a disappointment, and many people are quick to include this drama in the list of disappointing drama, despite having a good beginning.

I beg to differ though. To me this drama feels more of a healing drama, wherein the characters are forced to deal with their issues. And anyone who has had to go through any form of therapy knows how hard healing process is.

TL;DR: The main leads are both people who have been mentally abused by the people around them, except for Cha Young In, because she was the only reason I did not throw my remote control at my 50-inch TV.

Park Joon Young is your classic example of a ‘gifted kid’ struggle. He was seen as a young, talented pianist who had a bright future ahead of him. But people started to treat him more like a trophy than a human being, so he decided to take a sabbatical, much to the criticism of people in the music industry. Park Joon Young realised that his passion in playing the piano has faded away, no thanks to his abusive piano professor who belittled him again and again, and practically brainwashed him into being a people pleaser. You could see how Park Joon Young was not himself in the beginning of the drama once you finish the drama.

Chae Song Ah took interest in violin at a later age (much later than professional musicians) and decided to pursue her dream by enrolling into a music programme. Her classmates were all younger than her, and it didn’t help that they all learnt music since much younger. I love how Song Ah did not give up on her dream easily and gave it her all, before she finally decided to let go of her dream to become a musician. The metaphor of her love for violin and Joon Young hurting her again and again and she just endured it though.. I cried like a mess well I am a mess but that’s a separate issue

Special shout out to Cha Young In who was there for both of them.

3. Flower of Evil (tvN)

If thriller is your thing, consider this drama. If you are one of those people who like to see your characters being tortured (physically and mentally), this drama is a MUST WATCH. And if you enjoy watching Lee Joon Ki playing a character who is put at a great distress because he is trying to run from his past, go watch this drama.

More importantly, if you enjoy a drama where your ML is sexy, attends to house chores and takes care of his bright young daughter while his wife goes crazy for solving violent crimes, a devoted husband who is attentive and a tender person but also a freak in the sheets, you are wasting every single of your breath not watching this drama.

I mean look at this man teasing his wife about his stamina.

Flower of Evil did not feel draggy at all. Everything that happened within the first 6 episodes could have been an entire drama if this was written by someone else. Seriously, this drama kept me at the edge of my couch!

The dynamic of HS and JW screams POWER COUPLE but at the same time it broke my heart how they were pushed into corners too many times by the people around them I do hope they had some sexy times while they were in the corners though

The focus on their wedding rings throughout the drama symbolised their unbreakable bond. The wedding rings were literally the very last thing that kept them together when JW stumbled upon evidences that pointed against HS.

JW, whose compass was only trusting what she saw, and not what she heard, tried to break the stigma of women being at a disadvantage in the police force. Heck, she was better than her entire team when it came to solving cases, her being the only woman in the team. Who said women cannot make good cops?

The plot twist though.. And the climax.. To this day, I still listen to this soundtrack from the drama and cry just thinking of the climax.

4. Into the Ring (also known as Memorials) (KBS2)

I didn’t even plan on watching this drama. I was channel surfing and saw Park Sung Hoon looking all depressed in the first episode and ran into Koo Se Ra. Girl was UNHINGED and determined to fight for her way.

Her motivation was initially on getting a stable pay check from being a district representative (it was only 60 million won which is like USD55k so it’s not that much) but she eventually became the district representative who fought for the benefit of the people and did not care for the political warfare that took place.

Came along Seo Gong Myung, a government officer in the local government office who was demoted from planning unit of the accounting department or something to be a secretariat to the district assembly. Seo Gong Myung sticks to his principle no matter what, which surprise surprise, is HATED by everyone in the district government.

Turns out our main leads were friends when they were kids so Se Ra kept teasing him and dragging him into her scheme of fighting for the people, which Gong Myung agreed to, not so much because he was a community-loving person, but because he was afraid Se Ra would get into trouble since she was as straight as a ruler.

Long story short, our leads fell for each other, and their relationship was HILAIROUS to watch. I think I speak for everyone who watched the drama that we had no reason to believe Se Ra did not peg Gong Myung for fun 😝😝

They were so cute together awwww

5. Kairos (MBC)

This is another drama that I stumbled into. Only this time, I saw Nam Gyu Ri and I remember seeing her ig post on a new drama so I decided to give it a go. She wrecked my heart in 49 Days so I decided to check this out for funsies. Hooo boy was I in for a major surprise.

The first two episodes got me hooketh!! I still cannot believe how the drama managed to keep me on my edge especially during the last 5 minutes of every episode. The pacing is even faster than Flower of Evil, and since this drama went back and forth between past and future, it keeps me guessing whether their efforts would bear fruit.

Will Kim “Sexy Brain” Seo Jin  and Han “I-Know-No-Fear” Ae Ri succeed in fighting the evil, who at this point in time remains unknown? I know Chairman Yoo Seo Il is currently being hinted as the culprit behind everything but I know better that he is just a puppet who sold his soul to the real devil who most likely is in the higher ranks in politics. I mean he even hinted at his remorse for what happened with Taejung Town 19 years prior. My suspicion is he is trying to cover up whatever happened because otherwise his own family would be at risk, so his only option is to redeem himself by doing something about the Taejung Town. I could be wrong, but regardless of who turns out to be the real villain in the story, I can say I am so satisfied by how the story has progressed so far.

The time paradox still hurts my brain, but I am choosing that this drama does not assume that time is linear.

There is still not enough people watching this drama and I’m begging you all to go and catch up before it ends in two weeks time.

6. More than Friends (JTBC)

A little trivia: I reblog most of the posts from @kdramastuff even if I am not watching the show at the point of reblogging the posts. I had been following her posts on this drama for 3 weeks, and I finally decided to marathon all 6 episodes and joined the watching party.

More than Friends was another drama that many people called a disappointment but I had a different opinion on it. Yes, I used to be the nerd who had different opinions on many things in high school sue me

The drama is premised on Kyung Woo Yeon who is said to have a crush on her high school friend, Lee Soo for 10 years. Lee Soo is nowhere near to be the perfect boyfriend material. He is selfish, does not care about other people’s feelings, and was always a lone ranger.

BUUUUUUT, Lee Soo seemed to show signs of care and affection (even though it was not at all for a normal person’s standard) for Woo Yeon. Surprisingly, he seemed to only do it for Woo Yeon and gave attention to Woo Yeon alone, even though he could practically pick and choose anyone he liked from the swarm of girls who were chasing him.

One day, he told Woo Yeon that he had to leave to the US to study, which made our girl sad. She decided to confess at the airport, but he outright turned her down, saying he only wanted to be friends with her. Over the time, they kept running into each other by coincidence (note: her name Woo Yeon is a wordplay on coincidence in Korean). Later, it was revealed that he wanted her to always be by his side, but he has built a wall as tall as the Great Wall of China before the idea of love so he didn’t realise what his true feeling for Woo Yeon was all along.

Woo Yeon, who felt sick of the ten-year crush, decided to end the “curse” and kissed him by the beach, thinking of getting a closure on her crush.

Long story short, Lee Soo finally realised his feeling for her and decided to confess, but by that time, a young, handsome, rich CEO of a conglomerate has entered into the picture. Cue the game of cat and mouse between Lee Soo and Woo Yeon about resentment, regret and relationship.

This drama was promoted as a romcom, but it feels more like a slice-of-life drama with a mix of melo and romcom in there. Seriously, I cried buckets watching this drama, not something you’d expect from a romcom. The dialogues were well-written, with each episode revolving around a specific theme. This was such a good drama coming from a rookie writer.

This drama did not have that many viewers to begin with, and many of those few people dropped it along the way, including the one who was responsible in getting me hooked into this drama :p  By the end of it, there were so few people talking about this drama in the tag (shout out to @dohyunsoo @have-yet-to-decide @starfire-s @thbn-anything​ for keeping me company to the very end of this drama)

This drama broke my record of screenshots per episode and total screenshots for any show. Until now, I have yet to finish posting them. I should probably upload more screenshots later tonight.

This drama had some AMAZING shots in the first half, with beautiful sceneries mostly in Seoul. It’s like what they said, “a daily occurrence for you, a trip for me”.

7. Oh My Baby (tvN)

I did not even remember watching this drama!! It was only after scrolling through my gallery that I saw I had shared some posts on my ig story about the drama.

It was in the middle of a lockdown when this drama aired and many of my memories from back then feel so distant to me.

The plot was not THAT good, but this drama is something you may consider if you like torturing yourself about the struggle of wanting to have a baby.

8. Once Again (KBS2)

Arguably one of the weekend family drama KBS2 in a while that kept me waiting for new episodes in front of my TV. Some people are turned off by weekend family drama because they tend to have slow pacing which makes viewers feel like they are being dragged to one of those boring corporate events that you would rather miss and wish you could be literally anywhere else.

Because this drama had more pairing than the typical weekend family drama, the story did take some time before it was on full momentum. It did feel like the drama could have been better with even one less sibling to worry about, but it was a fun watch in the middle of lockdown.

Will I watch it again? I’d rather rewatch House of Bluebird (starring Lee Joon Hyuk and Lee Sang Yeob as friends to enemies to friends again) because that drama spoke to me in a way that was more relatable. No hate to Once Again though. I just prefer House of Bluebird better.

Note: Justice for Song Ga Hee and her lovely son, Kim Ji Hoon. He had to grow up so much because of what happened to his mother, that it broke Ga Hee’s heart. And mine of course

9. Secret Forest 2 (tvN)

I watched Secret Forest once it has finished and I fell in love with the drama! Imagine my excitement when they announced Secret Forest 2 with my three main characters reprising their roles. No hate to Yoon Se Ah, I love her, but her screen time in Secret Forest was not enough to make me excited about her return. But I was pleased with her role in Secret Forest 2 and I hope if there is a third season, her character gets the redemption arc that she yearns for.

Secret Forest 2 was not as intense as the brilliant original, but I understood that it had to do with the overall theme of the season, and the theme required the script to be as such. Some people may argue me on this, but I still think what they pulled off was brilliant.

Too bad there was a severe lack of Lee Joon Hyuk on my screen though.

10. Tale of the Nine-Tailed (tvN)

Well. This drama went far beyond my expectation. The OTP was to die for. No such thing as miscommunication trope. This drama did not waste time on unnecessary drama. The pacing was incredibly fast, even faster than Kairos. Although to be fair, Kairos had to play with two different timelines and required time to establish the setting.

I’m sad about what happened to Lee Rang, but he did what he did, and he would never be able to erase that much pain from his memory even if the deities decided to be lenient on him because of his roles in killing off Imoogi. A fresh start as a human seemed like a fair reset to his life, and I hope he lives well, surrounded by people who love him.

I was never a fan of Jo Bo Ah (no hate on her, I was just indifferent) but this drama opened my eyes to what an incredible actress she is. I wish her a successful career ahead.

[nomattertheoceans]

I feel like I picked up on most of the racist tropes in Maas’ books but I’d love to hear your thoughts on the homophobia in them

Hi Non!! Thanks for the ask :) 

Just an fyi if people didn’t see it, Anon is referring to my tags on this post about death of the author and the importance of criticizing media without taking into account the creator’s intent.

So yeah, regarding Maas. There’s a lot of ways in which I find her writing homophobic, I’ll divide them in different categories to try and make it clearer because my mind works in twisted ways x)

You should also know that I haven’t read Crescent City past the first few chapters so I can’t talk about this book (what I heard isn’t great regarding this issue but I haven’t read it so I won’t comment on it)

(this got long so I’m gonna use a read more)

worldbuilding

I think her worldbuilding tends to reflect a homophobia that she might not be aware of. Her entire world is built on heteronormative ... norms (lmao sorry I don’t have a better word I haven’t slept in more than 20 hours) that don’t leave any space for queer people to thrive in.

Throne of Glass actually got the less awful bit on this one, we’re shown that Hasar’s girlfriend Renia would become Empress if Hasar was crowned, and Aelin’s uncle was openly gay, so I guess compared to ACOTAR it’s better.

ACOTAR gets the worst of this: The fae society is painfully mysoginistic and by extend, homophobic. Mor is basically sold into marriage at sixteen, to a man, without regards of how she feels about it, because women are considered a breeding stock. The Illyrian women are viewed in the same light. Even Feyre is expected to be making heirs when she’s about to marry Tamlin. Yes, all these examples are painted as bad things in the books, but it doesn’t take away the fact that there are also considered normal within the society we are presented with. When the entire world is built around cishet dynamics (whether good or bad), it shows us that queer relationships are not the norm here, they’re outsiders from their own society (btw considering women as ‘baby makers’ is also transphobic but I’m not gonna open that can of worms).

The mating bond in itself is the biggest heteronormative concept in her books. As Rhys explains it in ACOMAF, it is literally intended for couples to make the strongest babies. It doesn’t care about love between partners, its primary goal is to perpetuate the species. It’s a natural instinct that we’re shown is basically impossible (or at least very difficult) to fight against. We’re shown that the woman has to make the man a meal to “seal the deal”, we’re shown that men become extremely violent towards other men they consider a threat when they’re influenced by the bond (by the way that’s toxic masculinity but it’s not what this post is about).

I believe that Maas didn’t intend for the mating bond to be a possibility between mlm or wlw couples, but that she retconned it in ACOWAR. Which in a sense is good, I’m all for queer soulmates! But the concept she invented here doesn’t have much room for non heteronormative relationships, and it becomes painfully obvious when you try to apply the mating bond logic to wlw/mlm couples. It brings many questions to mind: if it’s intended to make babies, does it mean that the mated mlm couple has one of the men be a trans man? If that’s the case, why didn’t she tell us? Why didn’t she spend more time on telling us their story? If they’re both cis men, then why would they have a mating bond, something specifically designed to help with species continuity by making babies? To me, it’s proof that she didn’t think it through, she thought it was cute to have two men be mates just like our main couple was, and didn’t stop to consider how the mating bond didn’t allow for this to happen organically because it exists in a vaccum of cishet privilege where she didn’t think about the consequences of including it in her books without elaborating on it. 

We can also see that queer people aren’t expected to be the norm in that society. Feyre is genuinely surprised when Mor tells her that she likes women, as if it was this groundbreaking thing she never even considered. I’m not going to get into details as to why I hate Mor’s coming out (I love Mor being a wlw but really, really, hate that scene), but the fact that she hasn’t felt comfortable enough to come out in five centuries is very telling of how unaccepting the fae society is of queer people. So yeah, there’s a queer bar where she hangs out but like... that doesn’t mean it’s accepted. One of the main reasons why queer bars started existing in the first place was to become a safe space for people to be themselves, so you know, I kinda take it as another proof of how unopen-minded the fae society actually is.

lack of queer characters

Overall, we don’t have a lot of confirmed queer characters. Off the top of my head, I can think about (of course I might forget some so that might not be 100% accurate, I haven’t read the books in a long while):

TOG: Hasar and Renia, Aedion, Orlon and Darrow

ACOTAR: Mor, Helion, Thesan, Andromache, Nephelle

Note that I’m not counting unnamed characters. I don’t consider “x’s lover” as a developped enough character to count as representation, come on.

Out of all these characters, only two of them are in the main cast of their respective series (Aedion and Mor). The others go from “mentioned” to “secondary character” at best. I’m not saying that all of her characters have to be queer, but out of such a big cast of mains, one in each series seems very little.

construction of these characters

On top of not having many characters that aren’t cishet, the characters we do have aren’t very well handled by the story.

Hasar is repeatedly described as being ugly, despite most of the other characters being described over and over as breathtakingly beautiful.

Aedion compares bisexuality to forced prostitution.

Helion is basically shown as sleeping around with everybody.

Mor’s sexuality is kept so ambiguous that there’s debate as to whether she’s actually bi, or rather a closeted lesbian.

Renia barely talks, Darrow is a jerk. Orlon, Andromache and Nephelle are figures of the past that we never meet

This is a problem mainly because of how small in numbers the queer characters are. The more diverse cast you create, the easiest it gets to avoid hurtful tropes. I wouldn’t mind Helion being a bi man sleeping around all the time if he wasn’t the only bi man in ACOTAR. Nor would I mind Mor’s tragic backstory if we had other wlw characters. By reducing her cast to such little numbers, she’s creating problems in her writing. She’s telling us that bi men sleep around and never settle down, she’s telling us that sapphic women will only get tragic stories and never find love again.

In the end, the combination of a heteronormative worldbuilding and the lack of work put into the queer characters we are given makes it impossible for me to not consider her books homophobic.

To be clear,

I don’t think Maas does this out of malice. I don’t think she’s a homophobe who hates queer people or anything. I also don’t dislike her books. They’re a fun read, and there’s a reason why ACOMAF is one of only two audiobooks I always have on my phone! Hell, I even write fanfic with her characters. But I think it’s important to be critical of her books, particularly in regards to issues such as racism, mysoginy, or homophobia.

To go back to the original post from yesterday, this is why ‘death of the author’ is an important point here. I’m not saying that Maas intended to be homophobic or that she built her world expressedly to exclude queer people. But in the end, that’s what happened, and we can’t brush off the critics of queer people and people of color just by saying “well, the author didn’t mean it that way.”

I do think that she includes queer representation only as an afterthought in her books, and it shows. Mor’s coming out was poorly handled because she didn’t consider the ramifications of it, just like the mating bond suddenly applying to queer relationships. Her societies are based on cishet white upper class America and that leaves little to no place for queer people (and people of color) to thrive in her stories. From what I see, she doesn’t seem interested in consulting with sensitivity readers over these issues, and as long as she doesn’t swallow her pride and listen to the people that are affected by it, she’s not going to get better on these points.