#like the Normal People that I’ve seen on the blogs is different from the Normal People that I’m reading

[terrainofheartfelt]

Okay so the thing about Sally Rooney is she is so good at third person limited unreliable narrator and sitting in the complexity of people and letting them be ambiguous and messy and imperfect and then she’ll hit you with a line of prose that butterflies you open like a shrimp

[seobover]

jongseob x chubby!reader

warnings: hurt/comfort, insecurities, kissing, jongseob is so sweet, so sweet i might gag, kinda very self insert,

(warning, i’m a nsfw blog so even though this post is sfw, keep that in mind !!)

a typical date night with you and jongseob. he took you out to a fancy restaurant, and had booked a table in the far corner away from everyone’s sight.

you always found it a bit weird — sure, you knew he liked privacy and you wanted some too, but it still made you feel uneasy. why did he always book a table at a spot no one could see you? did he not want to show you off? was he embarrassed to be seen with you? was it because of your weight?

yeah, it might be your own insecurities weighing you down and making you overthink, but was it really?

tonight had been no different. it was your anniversary date — yet your table was still hidden from all eyes.

you had put on your prettiest dress, matched it with your prettiest jewerly, you had even spent hours on doing your hair as perfect as possible.

yet he still kept you hidden.

—

jongseob notices something being off when you don’t even do so much as to look at the dessert he ordered for you two to share. he thought it would be a romantic idea to do, and he knew you loved when he did romantic things for you.

jongseob takes a deep breath, gently reaching his hand over the table to rest it on top of yours. ”what’s wrong?” he asks.

you swallow thickly, not looking anywhere near him.

”talk to me, angel,” he whispers softly.

”are you embarrassed of me? you don’t want people to see me? is that why you’re hiding me from others? why you always get us a table from a hidden spot?” you blurt out, finally lifting your gaze to look at him.

”no, it’s.. wait what?” he stammers. ”you think i’m embarrassed to be seen with you?”

you nod, feeling a lump form in your throat, tears already threatening to fall. he notices this, quickly cupping your face to wipe your tears with his thumbs.

”baby, that’s not the case at all. i thought you knew why i did this,” he says softly.

”what do you mean?” you ask, voice shaky.

”i’m sorry, baby, i should’ve explained it to you. i love taking you out, you know, and i want to be able to do it as normal as i can so.. this is just a safety caution,” he speaks, softly. ”i would show you off all the time if it wasn’t dangerous.. because with my job being what it is, i can’t put you in danger by showing you off. the ’fans’ can be crazy, you know?” he frowns slightly.

you look down again, not buying it. you can’t help the thoughts from coming up. would he hide a skinny girl like this?

”baby, look at me,” jongseob murmurs. you lift your gaze up at him.

”i love you, you know that, right?” he says softly. ”i love all of you. i’m not trying to hide you because i’m embarrassed of you, because i’m absolutely not embarrassed. i wish i could show you off, hype you up to everyone but… i can’t. for your safety, and for my safety, this is what i have to do. and i’m sorry for that.”

”what if i was skinny?” you ask quietly.

”oh, sweetheart,” he sighs softly, caressing your cheek. ”it’s not about your weight or anything like that. i’d have to do this, no matter what you look like, i’d have to keep you safe.”

your tears start flowing freely, and he quickly gets up and rushes to the other side of the table to pull you in a comforting embrace.

”you mean the world to me,” he whispers. ”i like you, all of you. your body, too, all your curves, your softness, i love it all.”

he holds you close, rubbing circles on your back gently.

”let’s go home, alright? i want to make you feel loved,” jongseob whispers softly.

-

jongseob holds your hand as he guides you to his dorm room. he grabs a few snacks as you walk through the kitchen.

”go sit on the bed, okay? i’ll get you something more comfortable to change into,” he says softly, closing his door after you both.

”your clothes won’t fit me,” you mumble.

”i bought clothes as a present for you. and i’ve worn them every once in a while so they have my scent. i ruined the surprise now but i have more surprises coming,” he says, giving you a pile of clothes.

he moves behind you to help you unzip your dress. ”this dress is nice,” he hums as you slip it off.

he takes in your naked form, letting his eyes travel on your body. ”beautiful,” he whispers.

”i’ll go get you a pair of clean underwear. you left some here last time and i thought i’d wash them and keep them here just in case,” he explains, slightly embarrassed.

he pulls you to the bed with him after you’ve changed into the more comfortable clothes he provided.

”i thought we could watch a movie and cuddle to sleep. how’s that sound?” he asks softly.

”sounds nice,” you respond.

he leans back from the embrace, looking into your eyes.

”do you want a kiss?” he asks. you nod.

he complies, gently cupping your face with his hands and pressing his lips on yours. the kiss is soft and sweet, and he tries to pour his love and affection to you through it.

he gently licks your bottom lip, asking for permission to slip his tongue in your mouth. he does just that as you let your mouth slightly fall open, softly exploring your mouth with his tongue.

the kiss breaks as you both have to come up for air. he nuzzles your nose with his, smiling softly.

”i adore you,” he whispers. ”you mean more to me than you know, but i’m going to make you so aware of all the love i feel for you.”

”i adore you too. i love you,” you whisper back.

he leans in, peppering your face with soft kisses, making you giggle.

”there it is, that adorable giggle of yours,” jongseob grins, his snaggle tooth peeking out.

you smile, and he swears his heart is about to burst from loving you so much.

he never thought he could love someone so much — but he’s glad he can. and he’s glad it’s you.

~~~ a/n: i haven’t written in so long my skills are nonexistent now..!! wrote this because as a chubby girl i never ever see any writing for us, everything’s always made for skinny girlies (who i very much love too!!!) so i decided to give our chubby seobie stans some love too! plus i’ve been feeling soo insecure lately and i need my seob to hype me up

i’m thinking about writing a nsfw part 2 to this.. lmk what y’all think

[chaos-in-deepspace]

LADS Xavier: Spiced Hot Chocolate | Halloween Special

Hehehe it's Halloween bby! Began writing these about a week ago after being inspired by a friend! Hope you enjoy the first of four fics I've written featuring a vampire!reader (who's still the MC). The others will be posted throughout the day.

❧ Pairings: Xavier x Reader ❧ Warnings: Suggestive themes, blood sucking, vampire reader ❧ Synopsis: You had run out of blood bags a while ago, and you were lethargic and hungry. Xavier hated seeing you like this, so of course he'd offer his neck up to you. ❧ Word Count: 2.8k

Disclaimer: This is an original fan work for “Love and Deepspace”. Do not repost on other platforms or plagiarize. All characters shown in this fic is 18+.

Blog Information | Masterlist

Xavier

Spiced Hot Chocolate

Xavier was used to you having a life, especially after the sunset. Seeing you going into his apartment after sleeping the entire day away, asking him what he wanted to do before he himself went to sleep. Normally, it is watching movies or reading books. Just spending the evening together until sleep finally called to him. Oftentimes, he’d be asleep in your arms, nestled up against you as you continued doom-scrolling on your phone until you decided to head out or went to do your night shift for work.

One good thing about being a hunter was that wanderers didn’t discriminate on the days they attacked, so they often needed people to work overnight. You happened to be on the night shift while Xavier flip-flopped on the time of day he worked, often wanting to work nights alongside you.

Tonight was different, though. As per usual, you came over to his apartment as soon as the sun started to set beyond the horizon. Your movements were more sluggish, though; your eyes lidded as you almost stumbled into his apartment. It was like you hadn’t slept at all, and the bags under your eyes didn’t help your disheveled appearance. You hadn’t even bothered getting changed, still in a large hoodie that you stole from him months ago and a pair of shorts. You didn’t even put on shoes before climbing to his balcony and entering through that door.

“Hello to you as well,” Xavier said, his voice softer than usual as he watched you flop next to him on the couch. He had been lying down with his legs propped up, reading a new book that you had suggested he got into. Your head found his chest as you crawled over his body and nuzzled into his side, “Is everything alright?”

You let out a small groan, not knowing how to put it into words. You absolutely were not doing alright this evening. Even the setting sun had been irritating you, almost burning your skin as you had come over. Your throat was dry, and you knew your voice would be a bit hoarser than normal, but you hoped he wouldn’t notice.

“M’fine, tired…” you murmured out, hugging his waist as you buried yourself into his chest. His own soft cardigan felt so nice against your cold skin, almost warming up your dead body as he placed an arm around your waist to tug you closer.

“I’ve seen you tired before; this seems different.” Xavier pointed out, “Come on, you know you can tell me. Maybe I can help.” He offered his hand, now going to your hair and gently scratching at your scalp. It was a nice, relaxing feeling as you let out a content moan, nuzzling your face deeper into him.

You didn’t often like to complain about your…situation. Being a vampire has a lot of advantages, especially in your line of work. It did come with a lot of disadvantages as well, though. You wanted to protect the citizens of Linkon City from everything, including yourself. You refused to feed on others, instead opting to go to your friend Zayne for blood bags. He was one of the few people who knew about your…predicament due to the Hunter’s Association needing you to go into check-ups. He provided blood for you, and in return, you always brought him macaroons.

It was a fair exchange in your eyes; the only issue was you hadn’t had time to head to the hospital for your ‘blood transfusions.’ You had been too busy, and therefore, you hadn’t had any blood for days. You were literally starving, and while it wouldn’t kill you, it did weaken you tremendously. You were lethargic and couldn’t think straight, and as a result, you were also grumpy.

“Thirsty…” you finally got out, followed by some coughs. This got Xavier’s attention immediately. The entire time he had known you, he knew you never had issues with getting blood. He had never seen you like this, and he felt the grips of anxiety overtaking his chest as he repositioned you so he could see your face.

His hand gently cupped your cheek as he gave you a concerned look, “Don’t you have blood bags in your fridge? Did you need to grab some for you?” he asked, already looking for solutions. You just shook your head and sighed, closing your eyes and relaxing against his palm.

“No, don’t have those right now…” you said, then yawned, “Just need sleep.”

Xavier knew you were already, in the most technical sense, dead, but it didn’t stop him from worrying that if you closed your eyes, you wouldn’t wake up again. Honestly, it was a fair worry; if your kind was starved enough, you essentially went into a coma until blood dripped into your mouth. Upon awakening, you could be…feral for a while until you’ve had your fill. You weren’t at that point yet, not even close, and you had already messaged Zayne to let him know you’d be stopping by the hospital tomorrow for some bags.

Xavier was silent for a few moments before taking in a deep breath, “If you’re that hungry, you could always feed from me.” He offered. This time, your eyes shot open as you looked at him as though he had said the most scandalous thing known to man.

“Absolutely not.” You said, almost glaring at him, “You know I don’t feed from…people. It hurts them, and sometimes it’s hard to tell if I’ve taken so much due to…” it felt good. A vampire’s bite was many things. Painful? Yes. But there was a venom in their fangs, something that made their victims feel euphoric. It was to the point where sometimes they didn’t even know they lost too much blood until it was too late. You hadn’t fed on another person in a long time, so you weren’t confident you’d be able to tell when it was too much.

Then there was the other issue.

The thrall issue.

Feeding on a human and leaving them alive left them essentially a thrall. A walking blood bag for the vampire to feed on. The effects weren’t permanent; normally, it would go away within a few days if the vampire didn’t feed directly from them. It still left their victim feeling certain ways, though. Xavier was already protective of you and attuned to your emotions; this would make it stronger until the effects were gone. You had explained this many times to him, but he never seemed to care.

“You’re starving, though. It’ll be fine; we don’t have to make it a regular thing, but I don’t like seeing you like this.” Xavier said, his voice so gently as he caressed your cheek. “I’ll be fine; I’ll let you know if it’s too much.” He promised.

“You say that, but you’ve never been bit before. How do you know you’ll be able to tell me when it’s too much?” you said with a huff, looking at your adorable and helpful boyfriend. How dare he be so caring and gentle with you. Didn’t he know you were literally a monster from someone’s nightmares?

“I won’t force you, but I want you to eat. I’ll go to the hospital right now and get you some blood bags if you won’t feed from me.” Xavier said, and you let out an almost pathetic whine. He was being so sweet again, and it was making you melt, as usual. “I don’t want to see you suffer if I can do something to help you.”

You thought about it for a little bit. You could smell him so well from his angle; your nose was pressed against his skin, and you could get the faint whiff of his blood. You bet it would be sweet, just like him, and maybe a little spicy. Just like chocolate with some peppers mixed into it. You remember having that before as a human, and it had been an oddly nice combination. The warmth that emanated from him, the sound of his heartbeat, it was all almost intoxicating.

Of course, you had thought about it before; what vampire wouldn’t think about feeding on their loving partner? It didn’t mean you truly wanted to do it, though. You’d never want to cause this man any pain, but it looks like starving was doing just that but on an emotional level.

You took in another deep breath of his scent and groaned, “Fine…but you have to promise me the moment you feel light-headed to tell me. I’m fully capable of stopping.” You weren’t a blood-crazed vampire. You could stop at any point. Hell, maybe all you’d do is get a little taste, just enough to tide you over till tomorrow.

“I promise I’ll let you know right away,” Xavier said, and you felt yourself relax. You got a little bit closer to him and nuzzled into his neck, picking up on the sweet notes that were him once more. You pressed a kiss to his neck, making him gasp as he looked down at you. You never would forget when he admitted his neck being sensitive, and you always adored kissing him there.

“Is the neck alright? I can feed from your wrist or even your thigh if you’re fine with that.” You said, wanting this to be a comfortable experience for him.

“The neck is fine. This position is fine…are you okay with it?” he asked, his hand going to rub at your hip. He adjusted his other arm to slot under your head to prop it up and give you a better angle.

You pressed another featherlight kiss to the skin there, and he fought back another gasp at the almost tickling sensation of your mouth. “This is fine for me.” Another light peck had him sighing now. You couldn’t help yourself, moving slightly to press your lips on the front of his throat now, sucking slightly.

Xavier’s grip on your hip got a little tighter at that, “I didn’t know you’d be teasing me.” A light chuckle escaped him, and you giggled as you pressed another kiss. You loved kissing this man, watching his reactions, how he squirmed underneath you.

Finally, you let your fangs come out; the retractable canines were sharp and dangerous, filled with that venom that, depending on what your aim was, could change. You could make him undead like you, but that’s something you wouldn’t wish upon anyone. Besides, he was already similar in a sense. He was older than he looked and possibly even immortal, despite how he never mentioned it. You had no idea how long he had been around; all you know is that he once saw him over a hundred years ago in passing. It was hard to forget those stunning blue eyes, so when you saw him all those years again as your hunting partner, you were stunned. You knew he wasn’t like you; he was different.

You shook your head from those thoughts, though, as you allowed your fangs to gently graze over his neck. It was just enough to scratch the skin and leave little red welts in their place, but it was enough to make him shiver. Then you did it.

You bit down right over his jugular, the tiny piercing fangs breaking through the tender skin there. It gave way easily, and the moment it did, your mouth was filled with the sweetest drink you had ever had in your entire life. You gulped down the crimson liquid, realizing it was just as you always imagined. Sweet like chocolate, spicy like a pepper, and uniquely Xavier. It almost reminded you of how his kisses tasted.

Your eyes fluttered closed as your hands grabbed his cardigan tighter, almost tearing it as you drank deeply from him. Xavier had let out a gasp, his grip on your hip almost bruising as he watched you from his awkward angle. He didn’t know how to react to this, but he leaned down and kissed your temple.

It wasn’t at all how he had expected it to feel. The pain was hot and burning at first, but then it was gone and replaced with a feeling that overtook his entire body. It was euphoric and had him panting as he tried to focus on how he was really feeling. He didn’t feel lightheaded in the way that would show he was suffering blood loss; more or less, he was unable to focus on anything except your mouth on him and your scent.

Then he felt his body growing a bit colder, which he assumed was his sight. His hand went to your hair, tugging at it by the base lightly. It was enough for you to begin licking at the puncture mark. Your tongue laved at the skin as the wound began closing up, leaving angry and tender puncture wounds in its wake. With the venom, you weren’t sure if Xavier would heal normally. You were almost certain there would be a giant bruise there from both the wound itself and the broken veins.

You were panting as you finally got off his neck, looking at the red that had dripped down his neck and covered his cream cardigan and white shirt. It would need to be replaced if you didn’t deal with it right away. You only hoped you didn’t get it on his couch as well, but by the way, Xavier looked, he was…amused.

His hand went to your chin, wiping away from the blood that had dribbled down with his sleeve, “H-hey, you’re making your clothes worse…” You finally got out, and he just shook his head.

“I can buy a new one; it’s fine.” He said, and you were now pouting. As Xavier looked over you, though, he felt relieved. The bags under your eyes were now gone completely, and you looked alive. You even had a healthy, warm flush on your cheeks that, in his entire time with you, he had never seen. Perhaps it was the effects of having warm blood in your system for once instead of just cold packets.

“Feeling better?” He asked, and you did. You nodded as you went in to kiss him, then stopped short. You retreated from him, not wanting him to worry about tasting his own blood on your lips, but he had other ideas. He dragged you up to his mouth and pressed a short, chaste peck there that had you once again melting from how gentle he was with you.

“I feel so much better…and yourself? You look…cold.” You said, your hand going to his cheek now. For once, you were the warm one in the group, but Xavier didn’t seem to mind.

“I’m fine; I’ve lost more blood in battle before. Nothing a short nap won’t fix.” He assured once again. Your eyes glanced at the clock and noticed it was already ten in the evening.

“That would just be going to bed, Xavier.” You pointed out, and he smiled.

“Then go to bed with me tonight. I know you’re normally doing things at this time, but…” he trailed off, but honestly, he didn’t even need to finish that sentence. You knew he was feeling the effects of the venom; his need to keep you tucked to his side was a natural one. Of course, after he had been so kind as to let you feed, you’d indulge him in whatever he wanted.

“Let’s get us both cleaned up, then get into bed. I didn’t rest well with how hungry I was, so I’m pretty tired.” You lied easily. You had done nothing but sleep in the state you were in, but you could just scroll on your phone with him tucked against your side for the night.

“Alright, but can I sit here for a moment? I feel a bit…woozy.” He said, and you sighed and moved his hair out of his face.

“That’s fine; how about I pour you some juice to help you feel better? I’ll be right back.” You could see the hesitation in his eyes, but he nodded, allowing you to do as you needed to. You slowly extracted yourself from him and smiled once again, swiping your tongue over your lips to collect a little more of his blood. Even though you didn’t want to do this to him, you secretly hoped he’d let you feed on him again in the future. He tasted amazing, and knowing you’d get to cuddle with him all night, and probably well into tomorrow, was enticing.

You leaned down and kissed his forehead, giggling when it left a red mark on him that had him shooting you a small pout before you made your way to the kitchen, intent on taking care of your sweet boyfriend this time around. Maybe, just maybe, you’d even break out the cute little rabbit band-aids you bought for his neck.

[epicbuddieficrecs]

Weekly Recap | November 11th-17th 2024

Just an FYI, I have an account over at BlueSky at epicficrecs!

Also!! I just passed 300 different fic writers and podficcers recced since the beginning of this blog! 🥳 thank you all for your hard work and your invaluable contributions to this fandom!

Complete

indulgence by coldbam/ @coldbam (Post-S8E6: Confessions, Getting Together, PWP | 1K | Explicit): “Okay. I’ll be right back.” Eddie gets off the couch, leaning down to collect their empties from the table, putting himself right into Buck’s line of sight, eyes catching on— “Oh,” Buck says, as his finger connects to the back of Eddie’s right thigh. He didn’t even register moving, but he sees it right in front of him. He forces his hand back to his own body. “I’ve never seen that before,” he continues, referring to the small dark splotch on Eddie’s skin that’s transfixed him. It’s just—there’s not a lot that Buck doesn’t know about Eddie by now. Not a lot he hasn’t seen.

Clarity by xylodemon/ @xylodemon (Post-S8E6: Confessions, Getting Together | 1,7K | Explicit): As soon as they kissed, a thousand things had fallen into place—jokes and shoulder bumps and wordless exchanges, movies and zoo trips and engine rides spend thigh to thigh. In that moment, Buck had realized with absolute clarity what Tommy meant when he said he wouldn't be Buck's last. Because Buck's last is Eddie. It was always going to be Eddie.

never seen a bluer sky by Chash/ @ponyregrets (S8E6: Confessions Coda, Pre-Buddie | 2K | Teen): "Hey, what brings you joy?" Eddie is expecting some waffling in Buck's response. Maybe some suspicion. It's a weird thing to ask, obviously. Joy isn't a word he uses much, isn't a go-to. But even if what makes you happy is a more normal question, it's not right. He needs something deeper. And of course there's the Tommy of it all. Buck hasn't exactly been mourning or anything, but he's obviously down. It wouldn't be unreasonable for him to say that nothing is bringing him joy at the moment. It's not a particularly joyful time. But Buck doesn't hesitate, doesn't question. He just says, "The ocean," and doesn't even ask why Eddie wants to know.

all eyes on me, your illusionist by thelonggoodbye (Different First Meeting AU | 2K | Teen): Eddie doesn't like magic. He's just fond of this one magician, is all.

The Billy Boils Breakup Anthem by sibylsleaves/ @sibylsleaves (S8E5: Masks Fix-It | 2K | General): Buck gets dumped. Then he gets cursed.

just soothes the soul by rainbow_nerds/ @rainbow-nerdss (S8E6: Confessions Coda, Pre-Buddie | 2K | Mature): It’s quiet, apart from the music still playing over the speakers, Old Time Rock and Roll fading out, another equally upbeat song starting right after. The contrast of it is what gets to Buck. Whatever Eddie had been doing when Buck showed up, he’d seemed… different, than he’s been lately. Buck turns his head to look at Eddie properly. "You shaved."

safe haven by my_hopeless_opus (Established Buddie, Fluff | 3K | Teen): People pleaser Evan Buckley learns how to be the little spoon.

The Thanksgiving Trap by scarmaddiewrites (Post-S8E6: Confessions, Chris POV | 3K | Teen): Chris has got to get out of Texas. He has a plan!

Clouds Ain’t Leakin No Rain by vampirebuckley (Post-S8E6: Confessions, PWP | 3K | Explicit): “Tommy dumped me.” “Oh. Uhm. I’m sorry, Buck.” “Yeah, me too.” “Do you want to talk about it?” Eddie grimaces as the words leave his mouth. Buck sighs, again. Slumps back on the couch. “Not particularly.” “Okay then. No talking. Do you want to drink about it?”

these hands had to let it go free (and this love came back to me) by bibuckdiaz (Post-S8E6: Confessions, Getting Together | 3K | Mature): Buck comes to Eddie's house after Tommy breaks up with him. They have a lot to discuss and to confess to each other. Eddie finally lets himself feel joy, in more ways than one. or: Catholic guilt, repressed memories, and the joyful ordeal of being in love with your best friend.

i could take you (to have and to hold) by withmeornotatall/ @chronicowboy (S8E6: Confessions | 3K | General): Eddie goes to the cemetery, and he lets Shannon go. He lets her rest. And he shaves his moustache off. And he sits on his couch in his empty house and looks at a picture of Christopher and thinks I'm going to get him back And then Buck texts him. Broke up with Tommy. Beer (OR: eddie goes to church, buck breaks up with tommy, and things finally start to make sense)

ditch the clown, get the crown by sparkagrace/ @ohhsodebonair (Post-S8E6: Confession, Lakers Game Date | 3K | Teen): Eddie and Buck go to the Lakers game. They don't expect the kiss cam.

Happiness is a Bottle of Juice by scarmaddiewrites (Post-S8E7: Hotshots, Pre-Buddie | 4K | Mature): Eddie decides it’s time for him to go and get Christopher from Texas, sees something he shouldn’t, and has a conversation about juice.

🔥like sugar in my soul (how sweet it is to be loved by you) by granadas (Post-S8E6: Confessions, Getting Together | 4K | Mature): “I kind of have a sweet tooth,” Eddie admits. “It was easier when we were a little broke. I took my coffee black because I was always in a rush to my next shift, and we were scraping by, so any juice and sweets I bought were for Chris.” “So what changed?” Eddie’s finally looking at him, and he flushes. “I’m just trying this new thing,” he says, “where I stop punishing myself. I’m trying to be… nice to myself, I guess. For once. Like, showing myself that the world isn’t going to end if I do something just for me.” Or: Eddie is making changes to his life. Buck panics, until he doesn't.

The Five Deaths of Dorothy Diaz by thelonggoodbye (Established Buddie, Future Fic | 4K | Teen): Eddie buys a plant. Buck and Christopher are determined to keep him from finding out he keeps killing it.

Last and Forever by Kwills91/ @kwills91 (S8E6: Confessions Coda, Pre-Buddie | 5K | Teen): “I thought I needed to be punished. For what happened with Kim. I thought that’s what I deserved.” Buck wants to protest—say that’s not true—but Eddie knows him well enough to level him with a look that tells him not to before he even opens his mouth. “It didn’t feel like enough, what he asked me to do. So I left. And then I ran into him at this juice place. He noticed that I swapped the juice for water. Told me I was denying myself joy. Called me on being scared of being a failure, and about the mustache being a disguise.” “He got all that from juice?” Buck asks. Eddie laughs. “Yeah, he got all that from juice. Kind of.”

and I cannot, cannot go by Maira/ @mairaiscarrierofthepaperclips (Post-S8E6: Confessions, Hanahaki Disease, Getting Together | 5K | Teen): Did Buck really not know? Did he not realise that he was the reason Eddie was even alive today? That knowing Buck was there, having Buck in his life, was sometimes the only thing that made Eddie get out of bed in the morning? Did Eddie- was this Eddie’s fault?

bad idea, right? by brewrosemilk/ @gayhoediaz (Social Media Fic, Sexting | 6K | Explicit): Buck stumbles across Eddie's grindr profile.

we all assume the worst the best we can by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Established Buddie, Near Death Experience | 6K | Teen): When a rescue goes wrong, Buck and Bobby are trapped, while Eddie and Chim scramble to save them.

watch out (you might get what you’re after) by sparkagrace / @ohhsodebonair (Canon Divergent, Fratboy Eddie | 6K | Teen): The 118 keep getting called to a fraternity house and Buck can't stop thinking about the frat president Eddie Diaz (who is definitely not responsible for the fires).

you're my sun, my moon, my guiding star by wafflesofdoom/ @capseycartwright (Post-S8E6: Confessions, Getting Together | 8K | Teen): “Fine, let’s have it your way then,” Eddie slammed his phone down on the kitchen table. “You set me up a dating profile then – Hinge, Grindr, whatever you fucking want, Buck. Set me up a dating profile, and you pick which random man I need to sleep with to make it so you feel okay about wanting me.” in which evan buckley gets dumped, gets drunk with his best friend, realises he's in love with said best friend, and lets his abandonment issues get the best of him. because your first is never your last, right? so buck can't be eddie's first: he needs to be his last.

🔥 wanna be your endgame by literalmetaphor (Post-S8E6: Confessions, Getting Together, Pining | 10K | Mature): Maddie has her forehead against her hands, which are clasped in what looks to be prayer. “Okay, so – hang on, so Eddie’s gay?” “Yeah.” Buck can’t believe they’re doing this again. “And he told you he was in love with you.” “Right,” Buck says. “And you…” Maddie peeks up at him. “You’re in love with him?” “Absolutely.” Maddie draws in a long breath, and she splits her hands to pillow her face. “But you turned him down and told him you wanted to wingman for him instead?”

🔥 death wish love by Underhung_Aura/ @eddiebabygirldiaz (Post-S8E6: Confessions, Getting Together, PWP | 15K | Explicit): after getting dumped by tommy and going to eddie's, buck wakes up the next morning only to be pummeled by his hangover and his attraction to eddie

WIP

🔥 wicked dreams by hispolestar (Post-S7, BT Break-Up, Eddie Sexuality Crisis, Getting Together | 4/9 | 18K | Explicit): Eddie’s trouble starts with a dream. Well, it actually starts much earlier, when he runs into a woman who is the literal carbon copy of his dead wife. Or, alternatively it starts with a lightning bolt. Or a sniper. Or a firetruck. Or a car crash. Or, realistically, a grenade embedded in a seventh-grade teacher’s leg. It starts with blue eyes, broad shoulders and a tenacity that shocks Eddie to his very core. But right now, Eddie’s trouble starts with a dream. ~ Eddie, alone and confused, is navigating Christopher's extended stay in Texas, while also grappling with feelings he's been repressing for seven years. Buck, who misses Chris dearly, is struggling under Gerrard and his boyfriend's dismissive attitude. In the wreckage of their lives, they find each other.

🔥 Things We're All Too Young to Know by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon S1-S6, Divergent Post-S6 | 139/? | 446K | Mature): This is a love story. Even if it doesn’t always look like it. Even if it doesn’t always feel like it. A look back on Eddie and Buck's lives up to now, and what led them to each other, interpreted from the current 9-1-1 canon.

🔥 how come everybody's dancing but you? by showedupatyourparty (Post-S7 Spec, Eddie Sexuality Crisis | 3/4 | 31K | Mature): Buck feels guilty. Everyone he loves is going through something painful, difficult, or unexpected right now. And Buck is just…bisexual. It’s great that he’s figured it out, and it’s great that everyone has been so supportive, and Tommy is—Tommy is fine. The sex is good, at least. Consistent. When Buck gets a call from Eddie’s phone late on a Tuesday night in June, it’s cause for concern. * Buck unpacks his own feelings about his recently-discovered bisexuality. Eddie gets adopted by drag queens. They're both just trying their best to be happy.

[maximumkillshot]

I Can't Lose You-Part 10

Warnings: Bin losing it (yes this is a warning), A person is grabbed, cursing, boundaries, Anger in Bin's mind (You will see why this is a warning), Mentions of miscarriage, Things come to light, health scares, yeah this one is rough, anxiety, regression

Pairing: BangChan X Reader

Characters: everyone except Bangchan is in this, Soo, Reader,

A/N: PART 10?!!! Double Digits already!! Well people here we are at part 10. We are going to

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Previously:

There was comfortable silence in the car, most silence with Minnie was always comfortable. Then Changbin’s phone rang, Seungmin said “It’s Felix.”

Pick it up.” Changbin said Seungmin hit the green phone icon on his phone and put it on speaker, "Hey Lix we o-"

Felix sounded out of breath, “It’s Soo… she’s here.”

Bin’s POV:

My blood ran cold. We are still so far out. '`Where's Y/N?” was all I could get out. This is why I didn’t want to leave in the first place. This is torture. I know Minho is going to do his best to keep her out, if Soo is anything like Chris, it won’t be easy. I heard, “Where’s Binnie?” at almost the exact same time I asked for her. My foot pressed down on the accelerator as I waited for Felix to answer. I heard bickering in the back, one voice very condescending, “I am just trying to--” 

Then I heard Hyunjin snap, “What? What could you possibly want here? To apologize? To see if she’s okay? Well she isn’t thanks to you. Get out of the room now before I have to put my hands on you and drag you out.” That made me feel slightly better. Knowing that the boys are willing to do anything to ensure her safety. 

Felix responded, “She’s in bed with Hannie but she’s slipping, she’s already stopped answering everyone except for Hannie. She keeps on asking for you and I don’t know what to do.” The worry in Felix’s voice seemed more out of anxiety than danger.

“What about Soo, where is she?” I asked. 

“She keeps trying to get into the room, she walks in and tries to say things to Y/N but we form a wall, her voice is still triggering her. Hannie is trying to calm her but it isn’t working.” I heard more shuffling and more of that woman’s voice, “Y/N just let me talk.” I looked at Seungmin quickly and his face was completely different. He looked like he was going into war, just like mine, I’m sure. More than anything… I’m scared. She needs rest. The doctors said so after the last attack, only Hannie and I know. 

The doctors specifically took a read of her heart during the attack, they’re finding that there may be some changes in it. Something that right now may be harmless, or not, it all depends on how her heart responds to stress. Some people die from stress alone. 

They took Hannie out to explain the last bit and he messaged me later. Y/N is looking like the latter situation, the stress so high that the heart pumps too fast for too long and it just… I can’t finish that sentence. Judging by how Felix is reacting, he just seems normally worried. Fuck, I want her in my hands right now. I need her right now. That’s the only way I can make sure she’s okay. Without that I just feel like I’m living on borrowed time. 

I had to make my voice as even as possible as I made the call, to let the boys know, “Hand the phone to Hannie. After that, tell Hyunjinnah if he has to put hands on her, do it. Y/N is still unstable, the stress will make her heart stop, we don’t have a choice Lixie, she could die. I’ve seen it almost happen. I'll be damned if either of them take her from us. They already took her child, they aren’t getting her. Go and do that now, do it quietly, Lix.”

Felix said, “What?” I can tell he is worried. His face always shows any emotion he has, as well as his voice.

He can’t show worry in front of her, “Felix listen to me, if she can see your face look away from her. You cannot show how serious this is in front of her… Do you hear me?” I have never heard my voice come out this stern, I know he’s scared, I can hear it. I’m so scared if I wasn’t driving I’d be crying right now. 

“Yeah I hear you. It’s okay.” I could hear the uncertainty. Like he is asking for reassurance. I don’t blame him. When I read that text, it felt like my heart dropped into my stomach. She is so important in all of our lives. She may not believe it, but us being where we are now, with her; That is proof in and of itself how loved she is and the lengths that we’ll go through to make sure our family is protected.

“I promise you, if you do as I say it will be okay. I’m not letting her go, none of us are, she needs us to protect her right now. I know you can do that for me. You’re so strong Lix, repeat it to me, what do I need you to do?” I tried to make it as honest as possible. A lot of people see Felix as emotional. He is, but he is the strongest out of all of us, it’s his empathy that makes him so strong in situations like this. After all, I was a crying mess a few hours ago and no one tried to console me except for Lix. It’s because, just from looking at the situation, he can feel what you do. Your pain is his pain. That in and of itself proves invaluable for someone like me, who has problems explaining feelings.

“Hand the phone to Hannie, let Hyunjin know that if we need to use force we will.” Felix repeated it back to me calmly. 

“Good job Lix, hand the phone over.” I was trying to sound as strong as I possibly could. In reality, I feel like I am going into this blind. I know that I’ve seen it before. That doesn’t change the fear that is plaguing me right now. “Hannie, can you hear me?”

“Yeah Hyung.” I heard Han on the other end. He didn’t sound scared, just calm. Someone on the outside would think that’s great news. In reality, it’s terrifying, Han is only calm when he has to be. So to hear him nearly void of any and all inflection tells me that things are serious. “Talk to me, how is she looking?” I want a full picture of how she is doing> Without that I know I will go into a full panic.

“Heart rate’s 110, slowly climbing. Her skin’s clammy, can’t keep her eyes still, she’d starting to slip, Bin. She won’t stop asking for you. She keeps on looking for you. " He then addressed Y/N, “Anya, look at me please, can you do that for me?” Shit… It has to be bad. Hannie almost never uses that nickname. 

He calls her Anya because it’s his favorite character in an anime that both of them love, they rewatch it together all the time. The minute he met her he couldn’t stop calling her Anya. She loved it, of course, since that's her favorite character too. Her hair had pink highlights in it only to add to the nickname. She’s so strong and independent. It fit her perfectly, in Han’s eyes. 

He’s using that to try to get her to go back to a happy time, not the last time she saw Soo, “Remember that day, Anya? The day I gave you that nickname? In New York?” 

I just heard the smallest, most broken voice, “Binnie, I want Binnie to make her go away. Hannie, can you help me find my Binnie please?” I could hear the thickness of unshed tears trying to fight their way out. Hearing her made my eyes wince reflexively. She’s regressing, sounding more like a child by the minute. The pain is literally shocking her back to a time where she had no idea how to handle the pain, but people could help, when she was a child. It was the same thing that happened in the last attack. It’s her brain trying to protect her. 

“Put me on speaker, Hannie.” After I heard some shuffling and what sounded like someone tapping on the phone I said, “Angel?”

“Binnie, where are you?” Just hearing her say that name with that tone, it ripped my heart out. She sounded like she was shrinking, I could sense it in her tone, the way she was holding on to the present.

“I was getting your brownies for you.” I used a lighter tone. I always did with her, I couldn’t help it. The fondness I hold for her constricts my vocal cords, sometimes I feel like I can’t breathe around her, not from being suffocated but from being struck by how gorgeous she is. No matter what, even after Chris married her, she always came to me for comfort. Even when we're watching horror movies, she would hold on to me and hide behind my upper arm, gripping my biceps like they had the antidote, the solution. She would hold me like I was going to chase away the monsters on the screen. That reminded me that this time I wasn’t there to chase away the monster, and I felt rage at that, rage and fear.

“Oh yeah… you’re coming back? M’scared.” That tone. She was slipping again, just my luck that right when she said that is when we hit a red light. I looked at Seungmin and he nodded, I blew right through the light. “Make her go away, Binnie, she’s saying mean things,” I started to hear her voice crack, I could see her shrinking in my mind. Trying to make herself as small as possible, trying not to get hurt. Tears started forming in my eyes as I heard her.

“I am almost there, okay Angel? I’m going to make sure she doesn’t come near you ... Can you tell me where MinMin is, Angel?” This question served two purposes. It both keeps her grounded and it gives me a gauge of where I am needed more. Right now I need to know if I need to blow by Soo to protect Y/N, talk her out of a flashback, or if I can deal with Soo personally. All of it hinges on Minho.

“He… He… MinMin?” I heard her ask. I could hear the fear laced in her tone. That tone makes me want to hide her from everyone and everything. 

 Then I heard a soothing tone of voice, “I’m here Beautiful, don’t worry.” It was Minho. That allowed me to breathe for a second. I know Soo won’t touch her.

She answered me,“He’s at the door… Keeping…” I could hear more of a little scuffle, shifting around, sneakers on a concrete floor, talking… But nothing from her.  The closer I listened the more I heard.

“I just want to make sure she’s okay, I’m still her best friend.” I heard Soo say.

Hyunjin fired back with, “No you’re not her best friend. We are her best friends and unlike you, we won’t stab her in the back. Funny how best friends aren’t supposed to do that.”

“Hannie what’s happening?” I couldn’t help the uptick in my anxiety. If I could just look at her, if she could see me and I could see her maybe it’d give me more time. But I can’t, it’s too dark. No matter what I did, whatever solutions I was coming up with it all came down to time I didn’t have to get to her. The threat is there now. Here I am so far away. 

“She’s staring off.” I heard Han and my stomach dropped. 

“Angel? Are you there? Keep talking to me…” I am trying so hard not to add to the chaos. I am doing everything to breathe normally, stay calm. I am struggling, I want her to be safe, that's all I ever wanted, I just wanted her happy and safe. 

“Binnie… why did this happen?” She said, in a very calm tone. That scared me as I am sure Han is watching the heart monitor. I had to snap her out of it. I’m 10 minutes away. I’ll make it in 5. “Hey Angel, let me ask you a question.” I said as I cut through a deserted parking lot, avoiding another light. 

“Yes?” She was close to the phone but so far away in her mind. I was semi- ecstatic that she answered me, usually that isn’t the case. I could hear the disorientation. I had to get her back to the here and now.

“You always wanted to go to Nami Island to take pictures, right?” I asked.

“Yeah! The trees are amazing in spring! And they have snowmen cakes around this time! Every season is so gorgeous.” I could hear some excitement, but overall monotone. It was similar to the voice she’d use when Chris made a promise that she knew he wouldn’t keep. Like she’s already over the thought of what was said was actually going to happen. 

I giggled, “Ok how about when things calm down we go to Nami Island, then? And as soon as the seasons change and Nami Island is at its peak I’ll take you again.” 

“Really?! You’d take me?” It was almost like her mind had to take the time out to realize that I am not Chris and that when I tell her something, that I will do it. That made me feel so sad for her. No one should go through what she went through. 

“Sweetheart, I will take you anywhere all you have to do is say the word.” I said honestly. That’s how it’s always been. Whenever she wanted to go out she wouldn’t go to Chris, he’d get mad for being disturbed, she told me. She hated going out alone though. One day I walked by their room to hear her ask meekly and he told her that his answer won’t change, he had no time for her. I continued to the kitchen and instead of reaching for the preworkout, I looked for any reason to call her over. When I did, I called her over. I could tell she was crying so I just opened my arms, asking what’s wrong. 

“You have been through so much, I just want to see you do what you love, without worry. We can be there as long as you want, okay?” I told her. I already know that I am not going anywhere without her for a long time. Fuck going to the studio. Fuck the 3 hour long dance practices, that is not a things at this point. I know that Chris is going to do anything he can to get to her alone. He is smart, that much is apparent. He’s definitely not going to let her go easily. I can feel my hands subconsciously tightening on the wheel. Just by what I heard from the kitchen minutes ago, he thinks that she belongs to him, that is some fucked up archaic shit. She is her own person. Her own beautiful, loving, caring person. She deserves to be treated as such.

“Thank you, Binnie,” I could hear her tone still small, but excited slightly. 

“Anything for you, Angel.” I don’t think she realizes that I will literally do anything for her. I’d give all of this up. Hell I am still trying to convince myself to stay on this team, I can’t see myself being in a room with Chris again, yet I am expected to somehow cohabitate with him. I can feel the saliva build in my mouth as my intestines twist. I’d do anything to keep her safe, happy. To let her know that she’s loved. 

“She wasn’t taking care of him…. Not the way I could, look at her! She can’t even handle her best friend talking to her!” I heard the sarcasm spew from Soo’s mouth. It made rage build in my stomach. Then I heard Hyunjin again, “You are fucking delusional to think that you are in any league near Y/N. You are a spineless cretin, she’s a caring person. A person who loved you like a sister. The only person who could look at a piece of shit like you and find something good in them.” I couldn’t help the smirk on my face from hearing Hyunjin reading her for filth. “The only reason why she can’t ‘handle’ a waste of space like you is because you did this to her. You broke her along with Chris!”

“Are you coming here soon?” I heard her whimpering as I continued to break every speed limit known to man, “she won’t leave me alone. Make her go away. She’s saying things,” I could hear the shake in her voice. She is trying so hard to stay here in the present.

“Angel, I am one minute away as soon as I get there, I’m going to make her go away. Minnie’s going to come in and take care of you while I make sure she’s gone, okay?” I tried to fight the shaking in my voice, but I can't help it. 

“You’re coming back to me after?” She asked.

“Absolutely, I will be right next to you, sounds good, Angel?” I asked. Being next to her always made me feel like I was home. It was the weirdest sensation whenever we were on tour or anything like that. I never got to see here daily, which was also torturous. I hated it. It wasn’t like I could call her daily either, it was more of a reminder than anything that I am just a friend, not her husband. Being next to her is where I belong. I feel it in my bones. Just thinking about being next to her is soothing to me. 

“Yeah…”

The next minute we were in front of the hospital I looked to Seungmin and he said, “Go, I’ll park the car. I’ll stay on with Birdie in the meantime.” Thank God for Kim Seungmin. I don’t know how he knows what I need to do. Especially when I can’t even keep my head on straight right now. My guess is that he could see the distress in my face. I immediately got out of the car and bolted into the hospital. I was trying to find the quickest way to her, and to get Soo away. I decided on the stairs since she was only on the third floor. I was taking two or three steps at a time. 

The utter desperation I am feeling is something that I have never felt before. I’ve never cared about or for anyone like this before. It’s like the fear and the desperation come with a feeling like my very being is being threatened. I can’t do any of it without her. I’m not just talking about performing and singing, no, I can’t breathe without her. I don’t want to eat, workout, I can’t function, period. That’s why I have to keep her safe. I’m not just protecting her because she is loving and kind, I am protecting her because I love her. She has my heart and she always did, from the second I looked at her she had it. The minute she laughed she had my soul, she may not know it or care in the same way but I don’t care. I love her. 

By the time I made it to the third floor, my lungs were burning, only adding to the rage that I was feeling. I heard Hyunjin speaking slightly louder than anyone should in a hospital hallway as I speed walked down the hallway. I ran into one of the nurses and told them to call security that the other person that caused it is here. I told them I’m taking her to the waiting room to separate her from Y/N. They nodded. The closer I got the more my veins popped. 

One second she was arguing with Hyunjin just inside the doorway and the next I wrapped my arm around her midsection and picked her up, dragging her out of the room as I said, “Hannie, Minho with me. Lix, check on Angel make sure she’s okay, Seungmin-ah is coming up soon.” Then I directed my voice to Y/N, “I’m here Angel I’ll be back in a few minutes.” 

Soo was struggling in my grasp but I didn’t care. I lift almost 300 pounds for fun, and she thinks that she can get out of my grasp? “Get off of me!” She squawked. All I did was glare at her and say, “You and I are going to have a little conversation about boundaries.” 

The nurses that knew who I was at this point, since I had been there the whole time. They also knew that I’m a sweetheart, but they also knew that I love Y/N so their faces also turned with smiles as they saw me dragging Soo. They probably knew from my face alone that I’m currently holding the last of the trash to be thrown out of Y/N’s life. 

I heard Han and Minho’s footsteps behind me as I walked into the waiting room. As soon as the door was closed and locked I grabbed one of the chairs and plopped her in it. “If you move from there. I will pick you back up and put you back. You understand?” I caged her into the chair. She nodded her head, not good enough. “Oh you had no problem talking shit when I wasn’t here, now you’re all of a sudden unable to speak?” She shook her head, “Then fucking use your voice. You’re so brave saying that she can’t handle talking to you yet you forget that you literally KILLED her CHILD.” I screamed in her face, and she shrunk away. 

I felt Han’s hand on my shoulder, silently begging me to back off I’m sure. I have never been this bad  as I backed off and dragged a chair and sat right in front of her, “You are such a piece of garbage. What were you trying to do by coming here?” I leaned back in the chair, not letting my eyes leave hers. Just trying to remind her that right now, if I let myself, I’d crush her in a heartbeat. 

I heard two more chairs dragged next to me. 

She looked at all three of us as she said, “I wanted to see if it’s true, if she really is as broken as I was told.” I could see the corners of her lips fighting a smile. 

“If you don’t wipe that smile off your face, I’ll wipe it off for you.”  Minho glared at her as I stared at her. I knew that Minho is very attached to Y/N. The fact that he is reacting like this, is a little new. He has always had respect for everyone, I can also understand where he’s coming from. She means so much to us. We wouldn’t hesitate. “You wouldn’t dare, Minho,” She laughed.

“He won’t… too much respect… I however,” I stated very matter-of-factly, “Have a very hard line, Soo. I don’t touch women in any violent way ever… But if anyone messes with my family and with whe people I love? All of a sudden gender is irrelevant… So the next time you speak, I recommend you speak with that in mind.” I saw the blood drain from her face, I felt a new level of base in my voice. The anger is starting to reach a level I can’t control.  

Minho added on with “Usually I’d have too much respect. That was before what you said about Y/N.  About her losing the baby being a good thing. That it’d make the divorce less messy…”

My eyes went wide as my heart dropped on the floor, shattered. When did this happen? How did this happen? I looked away from Soo for the first time, “I don’t think I heard you correctly… She said WHAT?”

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[jeonscatalyst]

Hey May do you think Jk acts different around Jimin when Tae is around? I've seen taekookers saying that you can always tell who the real couple is whenever Vminkook are together because Jk is always glued to Tae instead of Jimin and I also saw them talk about the fact that taekook mostly sat side by side on AYS.

Hey anon,

Yes I think Jk is different around Jimin when Tae is around. Jk and Jimin would obviously be different around each other when there is another person around. It could be Jin or Yoongi around them and they would still be different, them being different around each other has nothing to do with tae being there or not but just the fact that a third person will always change the dynamic of two. If we ever got a show with just tae and Jk their dynamic would be very different compared to when Jimin is around, that is completely normal.

The thing with taekookers is that they seem to have this belief that someone automatically becomes a jerk to their friends or is less nice to their friends when their lover is around and that is the narrative they have been trying to push. I saw this ridiculous thread on twitter a few days ago from a taekooker trying to show the difference in dynamics between taekook and Jikook when they are together and that post had over 4k likes even though it was filled with the most ridiculous things ever. Taekookers in my opinion are some of the most shallow, childish and inexperienced people ever because they lack the ability to look beyond the surface. As long as Jk or tae stare at each other, they see romance even if the next second they see Tae going away on his honeymoon, that wouldn’t matter because the honeymoon was set up by the company to cover up taekook’s real relationship. As long as Jk and Tae hold unto each other singing and dancing to a song at a concert they see romance even if moments later Jk is seen tongue kissing someone else, that person is a beard to cover taekook’s real and forbidden love. Taekookers would rather accuse every living thing on earth of trying to hide taekook than stopping to think that maybe they read things wrong.

I’ve seen them talk about seeing a difference between taekook and Jikook when vminkook are together, as a matter of fact that is something almost all the taekook blogs on tumblr believe in and talk about. They give examples like the HS concert in 2021, they talk about the Vminkook Vlive from 2021 and they have added AYS to the mix. Everytime I read the things they say and how they justify these points I am shocked at how shortsighted some people can be. I honestly don’t know if they really cannot see beyond the surface or if they just don’t want to look because they are afraid of what they might find or if they see but don’t want to accept it.

Let’s start with the HS concert. To them that was proof that taekook is real and Jikook isn’t because of the moment we saw of tae and Jk singing, holding hands and dancing to “falling”. There was that moment and another moment of taekook sharing drink or something and according to taekookers that was Jk and tae being glued the entire night nevermind the fact that we have footage of Jimin and Jungkook whispering to each other, sharing drinks, dancing together with Jimin’s hand over Jungkook, plus the fact that those two actually disappeared together for a while at the concert. Now, these examples of Jikook aren’t meant to prove that jikook is real either but just to show that Taekook weren’t glued all night as taekookers would like to believe but just because of those few moments they had of taekook’s interactions, they swore that the two were glued together all night and Jk didn’t even spare Jimin a glance. Now why do I say they are shortsighted? The Harry Styles concert happened on the 19th of November 2021 and then a little over a week later, we got the Vminkook Vlive (march 28th) and from this Vlive, we found out from Jimin that since they got to LA, he had been working out with Jungkook every single day, we also found out from Jimin that Jungkook was basically in his room almost all the time. Jimin said Jk visited his room about 3 times a day and that he saw Jungkook in his room way more than he saw the managers. Tae confirmed this story by telling us that he went to Jimin’s room one day and thought it was Jungkook’s because Jk was the one who answered Jimin’s door and greeted him. Mind you Jimin said Jungkook was in his room everyday and even came at night too when he was about to go to sleep, stayed there for 2-4 hours at a time and left. We also know that Jungkook was probably there every night because on the one night he didn’t go, Jimin asked why he didn’t come and he wouldn’t be asking this if Jk wasn’t a regular visitor to his room. Also, Tae thinking that Jimin’s room was Jk’s means that he didn’t even know Jk’s room. So which normal person thinks that taekook dancing together at a concert and you know, being friends proves they are dating when we know for a fact that at the same period, Tae didn’t know Jungkook’s hotel room, Jungkook was spending almost all his time in Jimin’s room and choosing to go to him repeatedly when he was lonely or bored? You see why I say taekookers are incredibly shortsighted? You don’t even have to think Jikooo are a couple but Jk clearly liked spending more private time with him that he did with Tae judging from the things they said. So how exactly could taekook be dating yet Jungkook prioritized being with Jimin over Tae? They focus on physical affection which in this case isn’t a sign of romance but of friendship, love and care and the they ignore facts because they facts shatter their fantasies. They watched the Vminkook Live and focused on 5 seconds of awkward eye contact and that to them was proof of the greatest romance but ignored everything that was said in that Live that completely debunked Taekook. Nevermind the fact that a few days after that Live, Tae attended Hobi’s live and mentioned that he had a meal with Jungkook and they had an adult conversation and Jk said he was happy. Anybody with a brain would understand that this is two people clearly catching up because it doesn’t seem like that is something they did often so after the concert Jk and Tae ate together, did some catching up and we saw Jk after he left Tae’s room still fully dressed with his combat boots on which means that he was just in tae’s room temporarily but when we saw tae a few moments later, he was already out of his concert clothes and had on more comfortable clothes you know, like he had already changed and settled in his bedroom unlike Jk who was clearly just passing by.

So let’s be serious anon, how exactly did the HS concert or the Vminkook Live show that taekook are the real couple when we know for a fact that Jk and Jimin were basically spending almost all of their time together while Tae didn’t know Jk’s hotel room? Before Tae started his Live wasn’t Jk busy eating chicken with Jimin while tae was eating alone? Tae had already showered by himself too while Jk and Jimin were talking about “we haven’t showered yet” lol. Taekookers never look beyond the surface and they don’t even realize that what they think is romance is just two people being friends and basically just dynamic.

They also think that AYS showed how real taekook is and when you ask them why, they tell you how Jk and Tae sat side by side or how Jk wanted Tae to get into the pool too or some other rubbish which proves that these people don’t have friends in real life. After watching Vminkook in AYS, I felt so validated about a post I made months ago describing Vminkook’s dynamic. Typical of taekookers to fail to look beyond the surface. Jk was seated next to Tae most of the time yet he spent the entire time interacting and talking with Jimin. How many times did taekook actually really talk to each other while seated side by side? Didn’t we all watch Jk and Jimin constantly interacting and talking while Tae’s head was buried in his phone the entire time? Let’s also talk about how taekookers claimed that “when Tae leaves the pool Jk leaves” forgetting that Jk chose to stay back with Jimin after they left the pool while Tae showered and went to bed. Jk did this on BOTH nights they were in Jeju btw. If he wanted to be stuck to Tae’s side like tkkrs claim, he would have gotten out of the pool, showered when tae was showering and gone to bed or atleast gone upstairs to be next to him while he was sleeping but that isn’t what he did. He got out of the pool, teased Jimin by locking the doors, knowing that he would have to stay back to open it for him while Tae went ahead to shower and go bed, he stayed back, played a little with Jimin, showered and they went to bed together on both nights so what exactly are taekookers talking about?

Anon, most taekookers, especially the ones here on tumblr swear they are body language experts and they can tell taekook is real because of how taekook’s bodies react to each other (lol) but ask them why Jk doesn’t seek tae out in moments of high emotions or why Jk didn’t immediately go to Tae’s room instead of Jimin’s and they pull out all the conspiracy theories under the sun. They say Jk always wanted to be by Tae’s side in AYS but ask them why Jk wasn’t rushing to his side at nights but choose to stay up playing with Jimin, showering at the same time as him and only going to bed together with him and see how fast they start contradicting themselves.

Anon, any unbiased person who watches AYS with Vminkook can very easily tell the difference between those three and no one would ever think there is anything going on between taekook. Taekookers harrassed and bullied so many unbiased reactors on youtube for seeing and mentioning how close they think Jikook are. You don’t need to be a shipper to see how clearly Jikook are different and how deeply they connect but I guess if you are someone who believes in how close people walk, or people’s sitting positions or people dancing together at concerts, then you might probably see what taekookers see. And this isn’t me saying that these things aren’t important, they are but the issue is you cannot depend only on your reading of people’s body language to prove a ship because first, body language cues could be subjective and could depend on so many things plus you cannot focus on your perception of things while ignoring all the hard facts. Jk and Tae stared at each other for 5 seconds, they are a couple/ there is attraction =Perception. Jk spends alot of time in Jimin’s room, so much that Tae once thought Jimin’s room was Jk’s, according to Jimin, Tae and Jungkook = Fact. While your perception could be wrong, facts can’t and if the fact isn’t wrong then your perception is wrong so that 5 second eye contact which you read as romance/ attraction, isn’t. If you thought taekook were a thing because you noticed that they look at each other in a certain way or they sit in a certain way, then you get to find out that in Jungkook’s free time, he mostly goes to spend time in another person’s room and also likes spending nights with this other person and basically spends almost all day with this person while Tae doesn’t even know his hotel room then doesn’t it make sense to just conclude that you must have read things wrong? But our neighbours would rather call Jimin and Tae liars before they sit to think that maybe, just maybe they read the cues all wrongs.

So anon, I do agree that when we see Vminkook together it is easy to see the difference between them and you can see it by watching them aswell as listening to the things they say. No reasonable person watches them, listens to the thing they say and comes out thinking “yea, taekook is the one” lol. That’s just ridiculous. When you actually watch them and listen to them, you actually get to understand just how complex human feelings and relationships are because so many people spend time arguing about who Jk is closer to when the truth is, he is close to Tae and Jimin in very different ways so you cannot even really compare but one thing that is clear and has always been clear is that of the two, his emotional bond with Jimin is deeper…unless someone wants to explain to me why in his moments of loneliness the one he thought of going to was Jimin even though he didnt do anything particularly interesting while he was in there with him… i’ll wait.

[cravingpepsimax]

so I ship stancest but I dont really talk about it because of how mean people can be, plus I dont want to lose any community over it. Do you have any suggestions on how to start interacting with stancest stuff without incurring wraith?

the main thing you wanna do is use an alt/sideblog. this account — minus for a private community i am, + following other stancest shippers — is entirely detached from my main. i even have an alt ao3 account. here’s a few tips on making a stancest sideblog:

make sure you’ve got your following tab hidden on your main. you might think, “oh, i won’t follow stancest blogs, that’s a liability” — you will. it’ll be fine. they’ll get it.

if you are a popular artist, and your style is distinct, either do not post your art or try and use a different style. this goes for all forms of art, though the bar changes — for example, authors do have unique writing styles, but, unless you’re writing some Really Groundbreaking Fanfiction, most people probably won’t go “hey, doesn’t this sound like x?”.

the above matter SIGNIFICANTLY less if you don’t post much/any gf art on main. at that point, you’re looking for a venn diagram overlap of “people who like whatever you normally post”, “people who look at stancest content”, and “people who hate stancest content”.

DO NOT POST IN THE MAIN TAG. do NOT. seriously. tumblr’s a lot more chill these days, and i’ve seen some stancest posts in the main tag that get away scot-free, but you’re IMMEDIATELY exposing urself to the hoarde. in a similar vein, censor ship names that aren’t considered problematic, like b1llf0rd, f1ddauth0r, f1ddlest4n, etc.

i wish u luck on ur stancest journey, fellow stancest secret society member 🫡

[momodita]

snapshots. [—millions knives]

TAGS / WARNINGS: trigun stampede verse, no crash       au, gender neutral reader, possessive behavior,       plant mating cycles (implied aphrodisiac       effect), jealousy, implied predator/prey WC: 1,000 NOTE: buff knives save me. save me buff knives.

✗ MINORS / AGELESS / BLANK BLOGS WILL BE BLOCKED.

“What do you think of Vash.”

Knives doesn’t ask questions—he makes demands. You’ve barely set the tray with his supper down before he speaks. This side of the ship is out of range of the hull’s lights. He’s facing away from the window, but even his reflection seems to stare. The air is noticeably sweet—almost unbearably so. Like honey.

“Good evening to you, too.” The tease comes first, reflexively. His nose wrinkles, expression testy. He’s confined himself to the ship’s residential sector all day: no wonder he’s extra irritable, you didn’t hear anyone else en route to his room.

“Answer me,” he commands.

You appraise him, pausing. His clothes are loose—as casual as he’ll allow himself. He looks no less ruffled than normal, but his body is poised: the eerily motionless outline of him stark against the midnight stretch of glass.

“We’re friends? I'm sure he would say the same.” You pull words with careful truth. Since childhood, Knives has stuck to Vash like glue. Rarely are they seen apart, except the occasions they fight and when duty pulls them to different sectors.

Vash is companionable and easy to approach; the same cannot be said for his brother. Yet over the years you’ve come to consider Knives somewhat of a close friend as well.

You tell him this—cheerful despite his mood—but he merely stares, expression pinched; unsatisfied. The honeyed air is so thick, you can almost feel the crawl of it in your lungs.

“You’re hiding something,” he insists, agitated. “That’s not all, is it?” He’s losing patience. You’ve no idea what inspired these questions, what he hopes to gain from asking them. Is he perhaps envious of his brother’s wide network of friends? In no lifetime would he care for tips on getting along with people. That’s how he's always been—a far cry from his personable, people-loving brother, but no less intelligent.

Head tilting, your confusion is obvious. “…What’s with the interrogation?” If you’d known he was in the mood to scrutinize, you wouldn’t’ve volunteered to bring his dinner.

“Answer me.” He steps forward, closing the short distance between you. Instinct tells you to flee, but it’s just Knives. He’s just Knives. “I’ve seen the way you look at him. How he dotes on you.”

Vash dotes on everyone. He supplies you snacks during long shifts, he cracks jokes that make you laugh, he listens to your worries, he keeps you company in the wee hours—but he does that with everyone. He’s let you nap in his room a couple times, but it’s closer than yours and you’ve been found dozing off in the kitchens. A bed is better than the floor.

“Knives, are you alright?” He’s got all the movement and concentration of a hunting animal. The kind you’ve seen from archived media. You take an instinctive step back.

He descends upon you like a wall. The years have been kind to his height and build: he closes the distance between you in just three strides. Fear blooms, unbidden and merciless—you think he’s going to hit you. But there’s a bruising pressure around your arm, his grapple like iron as his heaving chest presses against you—into you—forcing a hasty retreat until your heel knocks the door.

The movement pushes air from your lungs, and you realize late—much too late, far too late considering who you’re dealing with—that he is the reason for this sweet aroma. It fills your nose as he aligns your bodies together, all but squishing you into the cold steel.

“Stay,” he hisses. A wide, hot palm pressing into your hip. “Tell me what you think of my brother.” The hairs on your nape stand straight as he speaks against your temple. “All of it.”

(The other crew members had seemed apprehensive. One suggested to wait for Vash so he could do it. But it’d gotten too late. There was no guarantee he’d come back. They’d been apprehensive, but maybe… maybe not for the reason you initially thought.)

“You’re not for him,” he’s saying, sounding almost delirious. “You’ll never be for him.”

“I’m not for anyone!” Alarmed by his strength—his unwillingness to release you, struggling is an easy choice. “Knives, let’s think rationally—”

“I am thinking rationally.” He looses a rough, clipped breath. Nerves splinter a fierce trail down your spine when his face presses into the length of your throat.

“You’re not.” It’s useless to admonish him in this state: he listens to nothing. Not logic, not facts, not even Rem. “Knives, let me—let me get Vash. I’ll get Vash and we can—”

The teeth are a surprise. They scrape up your throat—a ragged breath flickers down your esophagus, fingers jumping up to fist into the material of his shirt. The heat of his body is unrelenting. The saccharine smell is so violently potent. It makes your knees oddly weak.

“You’re mine.”

…What?

You nearly go limp against him—the shock saps you of any fight. He’s acted this way a handful of times before. The memories are finally resurfacing: being easily aggravated, making impossible childish demands. It happens infrequently, but on a schedule. And this syrupy fragrance… you’ve experienced it before in a diluted form: years ago, when Vash had been red-faced and forced to tell you about certain cycles—

“Knives, this smell isn’t—don’t tell me you’re—”

“You came to me willingly,” Knives breathes, rough and low. His markings begin pulsing with light. His mouth is hot and wet as it moves over your rabbiting pulse. Hungry. “You knew.”

Oh. Oh no.

“I came to deliver your food,” you protest, muffled into his chest as his arms tighten, squeezing you against him. He looses something like a growl into the dip of your shoulder, rubbing his face there. “Knives,” you plead.

Distant thundering footsteps approach. His eager fangs are sharp—they threaten to break skin. And you, for all your struggle, cannot muster the coherence to protest.

[mysewingadventures]

Making the ✨Lioncourt Gown✨ (Part 1/4)

Shoot, it's been like two years since I last posted, apologies! I’ve been incredibly busy with uni and life in general, taking care of my mental health, it’s just been a very stressful time lately. I haven't really worked on anything worthy of posting in the meantime, only minor things and one dress I rushed and it didn't turn out well anyway. But, since Halloween is coming up and I don’t feel like wearing the same thing for the third time in a row, I thought it was the perfect excuse to try and make something new and the other day at 2am I fell down a rabbit hole and came up with an idea I’m completely obsessed with.

So recently, (in case you couldn't tell by the title haha) I’ve been really into Interview with the Vampire (the TV show), and there’s this one costume that’s so iconic it immediately caught my attention: This Lestat outfit.

I feel like since this blog isn't fandom related I need to explain myself to those of you who are just semi-familiar with IWTV. Maybe you know Lestat as essentially the villain of the story and are wondering why on earth I'd want to make an outfit inspired by him. The answer is quite simple and not actually deep at all: I just thought it'd be a fun project. I'm very well aware of his personality and would not want to be in the same room as him in real life haha. But he's such an interesting character to watch on screen (they all are, in my opinion). Anyways-

This outfit is from a scene that takes place in the 1790s and now, I’m unfortunately not too versed in men’s fashion so I can’t quite comment on its historical accuracy (and also it’s worn in the context of a theater performance so it’s bound to be more flashy than what people would have worn on the streets), but the way the lapel is shaped just screams redingote to me, and since I've always wanted to make a redingote I'm going to make a redingote version of the costume!

For reference, here's what a c. 1790 redingote looks like:

This one has a normal button closure but redingotes were also often double-breasted (which is what I'm going for), taking inspiration from men's fashion. These were often worn to ride in - hence the name, redingote - riding coat.

Maybe this is the point where I should mention that I'm not going for perfect historical accuracy for this project. It really is just a fun project to try to approximate something as seen on a show to an actual historical piece of clothing.

Here’s a super quick sketch I drew to check if the colors looked good together, and I have to say, I’m sold 1000%.

I am so excited to wear this when it’s done, but also a bit anxious because for starters, I’ve never made a redingote before, and the dresses that I have made all have issues with the sleeves because apparently, I can’t sew sleeves correctly. So this time, I really want to make sure it all fits properly before I sew it and take my time with it to make sure it ends up being something that I love as much as I love the idea of it.

This time, I tried something a little different with my mockup - usually, I’ll draft a pattern on paper, then cut out my mockup and sew it, but this time I decided to make the mockup by draping the fabric directly on the mannequin that I dressed in my stays and a bumroll, making sure I had the correct measurments, and it was a complete gamechanger. It fit right away with minimal adjustments, and I was also immediately able to check how the fabric falls, if it needed to be on the bias or not, etc. I ended up doing everything on straight grain which is technically not 100% correct as the front piece needs to be on a slight bias but it seems to work for this piece so let’s hope the fabric doesn’t wrinkle! I’ll also be adding boning so I’m hoping that’ll additionally keep it all straight and even in the front.

Once the mockup was completed, I went on the search for the right fabrics and got these (the skirt fabric, the buttons and the tape I ordered online and they've yet to arrive!):

The black base fabric and the blue one are cotton, as will be the skirt. The details are satin! I spent a long time at the fabric store trying to think of the best way to do this and it does look like the details on Lestat's outfit are maybe velvet, but I was afraid it would look a little too costume-y and cheap, so I ended up going with satin in the end.

I pinned the fabric mock-up onto the lining fabric (just a white Ikea bedsheet), added 1,5cm seam allowances where needed cut out the lining first, then placed the lining onto the black base fabric and cut that out as well.

I needed to lay the pieces down this way because I bought 2,5 meters, and I'll need 2m for the outer skirt alone so there's not a lot of space left, as I'll also have to cut out the sleeves from that fabric. I then sewed everything together.

And then I noticed I'd made a mistake - the lining for the front panel was supposed to be blue. Welp, now it's white, and I also realized I didn't have enough blue fabric to do the collar AND the lining, so I went for a fake lining for which I cut out two blue triangles to be slightly bigger than the lapel

and stitched them to the lining layer so the seams wouldn't be visible on the black outer layer. This was the result:

Pretty happy with it! Next up, even though I don't have the beige tape yet, I decided to cut out the color panels in the front and already pin them down. After some trial and error, I decided to go for 15x4,5cm triangles and calculated the size needed for the shorter ones (9x7,5cm), cut them out of the satin (which, let me tell you, was so finicky it ended up being the most difficult part of it all) laid them down and fastened with pins.

This is what I have so far:

Looking at it in the picture, I'm worried that the color panels take up too much space in the front. It looks like that in the original picture, but in my sketch I made everything a little narrower. But I was also scared of pulling on it too much because the panels are just pinned to the fabric. Some parts are sticking out over the black base layer which maybe also makes it look wider than it really is, I'll cut it to shape once I have the tape and have a better visual understanding of what it's going to look like.

Next up will be the collar/yoke and the dreaded sleeves and possibly the boning. I should do the boning before I attach the beige tape. I am realizing as I’m writing this that I should’ve done the boning before pinning down the colored panels as they’re supposed to cover it. Oh well. It’s fine. Either way, I think it already looks super cool and I can't wait to see the finished product!

Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4|

[scnderlands]

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀𝒩𝒮𝐹𝒲 𝒜𝐿𝒫𝐻𝒜𝐵𝐸𝒯 — j.slaughter

warnings + tags — MINORS / AGELESS BLOGS DNI, female reader, mentions of sex, dacryphilia, blood kink, non-con kink, knife play, johnny slaughter being johnny slaughter, typical nsfw things

authors notes — I’ve been wanting to do an alphabet for some of the tcm characters forever, so why not kick it off with a dirty little johnny post? this is all for fun and games, so if you don’t agree w anything, that’s okay <3 I might make some more n/sfw alphabets if people want, too (also let’s pretend I’m not uploading this at 6am).

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

at first he wasn’t exactly understanding of aftercare, he was used to just fucking and leaving, you know, the whole family business. but once he got with you, you taught him what aftercare actually was and it became one of him favourite things — he’d actually look forward to it, not that he’d tell you that. the idea of holding you close to him, all sweaty and panting, both of you more relaxed than you ever could be, enjoying the silence and the come down from your shared high. what could be better?

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

his favourite body part of yours is definitely your ass and thighs, doesn’t matter whether they’re big or small, he just loves the soft parts of your body. he loves squeezing them, slapping them, biting them, laying on them — whatever, he is just borderline obsessed with them. but in all honesty, every single part of your body is his favourite, he’s just so into you that he can barely contain himself.

his favourite part of himself is his arms and hands, his muscular biceps and large hands make him feel manly and give him extra confidence, plus when he’s choking someone, seeing his hands or arms cover them completely kinda gets him going. plus he knows how much you love those parts of him, and that makes him like himself just that little bit more.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

he’s filthy when it comes to his cum, he’ll have it everywhere — he’ll cum on your face, your ass, in your mouth, and even forcing it into your cunt and breeding you like you deserve. he claims you as his and him having his cum in you or all over you just cements that fact. it tastes a little salty but mostly just normal, he likes to think he has a “good” diet just for your taste.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

johnny is a dirty little panty stealer, especially dirty panties. any time you’re showering or have gotten changed, he’ll pick up a pretty pair and shove it into his pocket, and he’ll act completely innocent when you ask if he’s seen them anywhere — he’ll just claim he probably ripped them to shreds when he fucked you, or threw them behind something accidentally. he loves smelling them while he’s masturbating (which isn’t often) but when he really misses you, then it just brings him that much closer to you. he has a secret little stash of them in his shack, tucked away in the back of a drawer, all different colours and styles just for his pleasure.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

no surprise but he is pretty damn experienced, but in the beginning he only really fucked for his own pleasure, not really caring about the other person. but when he got you, then all he wanted was to hear you moaning, to hear his name tumbling from your pretty lips. so he focused on and used everything he knew best, and of course he listened and learnt what you enjoyed — he basically became a god of fucking you, knowing everything that made you break, the things that made you quiver and come without him barely touching you.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

surprisingly, missionary is his favourite, mostly because he likes seeing your face while he’s fucking you, having his hands wrapped around your throat or pinning your hands above your head. there’s something intimate about the simplicity of missionary and he loves that. but he enjoys mixing it up a little, missionary that turns into a mating press, and whatnot.

his second favorite is doggy, but because he loves ass, and it makes it easy to wrap his arm around your neck and pull you back into his chest. a secret favourite as well is forcing you into the full nelson, because what wouldn’t be enjoyable about that?

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

he’s more serious but it’s because he gets lost in the moment, he’s so concentrated on making you come that he doesn’t really take the moment to be more relaxed. but it doesn’t mean he doesn’t know how to laugh and joke on during it, he’ll often say things that makes you chuckle, especially when he’s being “sweet” — but he doesn’t make a habit to go out of his way to make a joke unless it’s to lighten the mood after an intense session.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

johnny is pretty well groomed, he often shaves his armpits and trims his pubes, mostly because of the hot weather so he likes to keep it shorter but also because he feels more comfortable. he definitely leaves hair down there though, and grows out his happy trail because he knows he looks good with it. and of course he leaves the little bit of chest hair he has. all of his hair is jet black, and pretty thick and straight.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

he can sometimes be nice and loving, slow and romantic. whispering sweet nothings into your ear, pumping in and out of you deeply, just showing how he loves you. but of course he has the moments, which is more likely, where he fucks you hard and rough, using you for his own pleasures. it all depends on the moment, the day, and his mood, but expect a bit of everything from him. but johnny has his own ways of intimacy, his own way of showing his love and being what he thinks is romantic, even if he is being rough the entire time.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

he rarely jacks off, instead he prefers having sex with you to relieve himself, but on the off times he does need to jack off, then he has specific things he’ll do. like stated he’ll sniff your panties or look at polaroids of naked pictures you took for him, picturing you riding him and moaning for him. he’ll edge himself a lot, too, your name always rolling off his tongue when he moves his hand nice and slow up and down his cock. other times he wants it over quickly, locking himself in the bathroom and fucking his hand hard and fast, just needing to come and get it over with so he can get back to his busy schedule.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

blood kink — need I say more? he loves eating and tasting people, and your blood is something that he loves tasting, especially when he’s balls deep inside of you. there’s something so intimate about licking the blood trickling down your neck and making love to you at the same time, something so intimate about sharing something like blood with each other. he also loves having you taste his, whether it’s from biting his lip or even just licking his wound when he accidentally cuts himself.

knife kink — again, a pretty obvious one, the man who walks around with a knife and cuts people up basically for a living? he likes the way you flinch under the cool steel of his blade, cutting your clothes off your body with it, leaving lines and marks on you. he’ll cut you if you let him, not deep enough to scar, but enough to get a little blood from you, two kinks for the price of one.

non-con kink — he loves having his way with you, especially when you’re begging him to stop or when you’re whimpering and crying. of course he doesn’t hurt you, instead he pleasures until you can’t take it anymore, until you want it to stop but he just won’t. sometimes he’ll grab you from behind when you least expect it, blindfold and gag you, tie you up and fuck you senseless.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

he’s a simple man with simple pleasures, taking you on a bed or the sofa in his shack is good enough for him, anything with soft padding for him and you to be comfortable. but sometimes he likes to mix it up, fucking you in a victims car or bending you over a table in his mothers house and having his way with you. it depends on his mood like usual, it doesn’t matter where it is as long as he gets to cum in you — but he does have a preference for the risky areas, the outdoor places where you have the chance to be caught, or even just places where he didn’t bother locking the door.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

he’s a pretty simple man so a lot of things you do turn him on, it can be as simple as seeing you all warm and bothered on a hot summers day or seeing you bend over picking something up off the floor. but some other things are a little meaner, like seeing you cry when you’re upset or when you’re annoyed with him and you pout all cute like. his favourite thing though, is when you’re angry or really upset, shouting at him, pushing him away or pounding on his chest to get him away — that instantly sends the blood to his cock.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

there isn’t much he wouldn’t do, or at least there isn’t really any hard no’s. but he isn’t a fan of threesomes, he doesn’t like the idea of anyone else touching you, pleasing you — he knows he’s enough for you and you’re enough for him, so why would you want to invite someone else into the bedroom? as for turn offs, there isn’t really many, something might turn his off once because of his mood or just how he’s feeling on that day but then it might not the next time.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

just like most people, he loves recieving and seeing you on your knees, especially when you’re choking and gagging on him. but he absolutely loves going down on you, he loves to pleasure you and anything that gets you moaning his name, he loves. he’s really good at it too, he was already good before he met you but he’s learnt exactly what gets you going, and god knows he can work miracles with that tongue of his. there are times he’ll go down on you for the sake of it, not even expecting it to be foreplay for sex. he’ll just push you up against something and drop to his knees, pushing your panties to the side and eating you out, then he’ll just go about the rest of his day like normal after making you come on his face.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

he goes between fast and rough and slow and sensual, but most of the time he likes it fast and rough. throwing you about and using you as a glorified fleshlight and making you come at his will is just too much to pass up. when he’s been more romantic or sensual, he likes to have you in missionary, his head buried in the crook of your neck where his moans and sighs are slightly muffled, and he can just push his cock into you nice and slowly.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

as much as he loves taking his time with you, he loves a good old fashioned quickie, bending you over some car or throwing you up against a wall when he needs to relieve himself. he’s worse with it when he’s had a bad day and something has annoyed him, he’ll practically hunt you down just to fuck you. he doesn’t have quickies every day, but it’ll be at least one or twice every couple of days.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

johnny is completely down for taking risks, fucking you in easily caught places and places that are pretty dangerous — the most noticeable place being near his mothers house, or even inside, he’ll drag you off somewhere when you’re visiting her and have his way with you then act like nothing happened when you can barely walk. he loves to experiment with you, too, after all he has some pretty out there kinks that you didn’t exactly like or ever think about trying, but he respects if you have hard no’s — he’s a lot more caring than he pretends to be.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

not so surprisingly, he has a lot of stamina, and can go a whole bunch of rounds, but usually he’ll tap out after two, or a very long session. he enjoys having multiple sessions throughout the day rather than all at once, because then he can burn off all that energy and anger he gets during the day. during a usual session, foreplay included, it’ll last around 45 minutes to an hour — after all, he really loves taking his time with you.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

so he’s pretty hit and miss with toys, he didn’t exactly like them at first. he was kinda insulted when you brought up the idea of having a vibrator / when he found yours, because he took it that he wasn’t good enough for you and that you clearly needed to have something else make you come. after you finally convinced him to just use it on you during sex, his entire world lit up. watching how easy it was to have you a quivering, blubbering, sniveling mess sent blood rushing straight to his cock — and now a lot of the time, especially during longer sessions, he’ll use it on you to tease or give his hand a little bit of a break if he needs it. he also loves making you use it on yourself while he watches, sometimes wanking himself off while you make yourself come.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

he’s a huuuuge tease, loves to edge you for as long as he can, it’s even better if he gets you to the edge of coming on a morning then he can leave for the day — but he tells you not to touch yourself, because he’ll know — sometimes he’ll even “check” during the day to make sure you haven’t made yourself come. if you’ve been good for him then he won’t tease you for too long, but it’s rare he goes a day without teasing you just a little bit. he just loves hearing you whimper and beg for him, and he gets off on being the only one that can make you come.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

johnny grunts and cusses a lot during sex, or even when you’re just teasing / going down on him. he has no issue being vocal anymore, although he was a lot quieter when you first got together. now he’s completely fine with moaning into your ear, and he actually loves moaning your name, he doesn’t even care who hears — he likes you knowing how good you make him feel, plus he knows how much it turns you on having him moaning and cussing when he’s deep inside you.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

okay I’ve said it a million times, and I’ll say it a million more, he’s actually really sweet to you, and treats you like an angel. at first he’d be a little mean, still saying things that would hurt your feelings or just scaring you by him being him — but once you’d been dating awhile, he’s the “hurt them and I kill you” type guy, the one that’ll kill for you, the one that’ll die for you. he’s so wrapped around your little finger it’s almost unbelievable, he’s so in love that he’d do nearly anything you ask — but he’s only like that when you’re alone, for the most part. when you’re around other people he’s super possessive and lets others know who you belong to, always having a hand around your waist or yanking you into the most sexually fuelled kiss when someone talks to you for too long. nonetheless, he’d protect you with his life and is actually really sweet, in his own way, of course.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

okay he’s got a pretty huge dick, it’s 7”-7.5”, and it’s girthy as all hell, to the point he needs to warm you up a lot before even thinking about trying to push himself into you. he’s not cut, and he’s got a big fat vein that runs along the underside of his cock and it’s super sensitive around there, too. the closer to the tip of his cock, the more reddish purple it turns, especially when he’s hard. oh and let’s not forget, he’s got big, heavy balls as well.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

he’s ridiculously horny, that man has a crazy sex drive and it was kinda hard to keep up with at first. he has a naturally high one anyway but it’s made worse by his obsession with you — he needs to be in you constantly, filling you, making you his. as soon as he wakes up he’s there being needy, he’s the exact same at night when you’re going to bed. and don’t be surprised if he doesn’t pull you round the back of a shack to fuck you during the day, too.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

johnny falls asleep instantly, there’s not a single thought behind that man’s eyes. and it’s made even worse when he tires himself out fucking you senseless a good few rounds before finishing — he’s the type that as soon as his head hits the pillow, he’s passed out snoring, mouth open, twitching and kicking you all night. or sometimes he’s just so still that you’re not sure he’s alive anymore, just perfectly motionless, couldn’t even be woken up by the end of the world.

[felinefractious]

Final (hopefully) Notes on Moonpaw

So first off I’d like to specify this is not a Warriors blog.

The Warriors series was hugely important to me during my childhood so there’s a definite nostalgia factor there. I no longer read the books but I still interact with the material and community.

There is a hefty overlap between the cat genetics + phenotype community and Warriors fans. A non-insignificant portion of my followers are involved with the series to some extent.

As such the subject will occasionally come up. Going forward these instances will be tagged as #wc bullshit, even if the circumstances or nature of the discussion aren’t negative. It’s just better to have one consistent tan people can block.

But ultimately this is not and will never be a Warriors blog.

Now onto the matter at hand.

Let’s summarize.

Moonpaw is the protagonist of the upcoming series of Warriors. The official website recently released her design as well as her parents, which has caused a buzz within the community for multiple reasons.

She is labeled as a chimera in her description, which the authors represent with a split-face pattern. A notable aspect of her story is going to center around this and how unique and special this makes her…

Which only demonstrates the authors poor understanding of the subject, as the split-face pattern is a normal presentation of tortoiseshell coloration and something which would certainly have occured numerous time within the clans population prior to now.

One of the authors thought mackerel referred to a green-hued cat, though. So.

It is possible for Moonpaw to be a chimera in the same way it is possible for any character to be or have been a chimera, there is no singular way for chineric cats to look and phenotypically normal cats can be chimeric and it’s just not detected because no-one knows to look for it.

But the split-face in itself isn’t suggestive of being a chimera, this is a widely perpetuated myth.

The belief that split face = chimera may be a relatively benign misunderstanding but it’s somewhat concerning how devoted to this misbelief some people seem to be. It’s okay to be wrong, it’s okay to not have known something. If you’re given new information accept it, don’t come snapping back with “Why does it matter?”

It’s a slippery slope to try and decide what degree of misinformation is acceptable to spread and the way some people react to almost as if it’s a personal slight to be told is teetering dangerously close to anti-intellectualism, especially during a time where misinformation in general is on the rise a la AI.

Don’t get me wrong, deliberate information can be fun to play with because it involves some degree of understanding that it isn’t true. Goncharov is an excellent example of “Yes, and” and sometimes I’ll assigned completely fabricated breeds to followers cats as part of a game.

This is different than sincere ignornance.

And we’re already seeing the inevitable conclusion of this behavior, I’ve seen swaths of misinformation about chimerism stemming from this which are not as benign as the initial split-face misbelief.

Chimerism occurs when two zygotes fuse into one organism… and that’s all chimerism is.

Chimerism is not a and is not related to any disability. It is actually so benign that we don’t know how common it actually is because most remain undiagnosed because there’s no inclination to test for it.

In instances where it is tested for this usually isn’t due to any medical complication for the individual, rather reproductive anomalies seem to be the most common instigator for testing, such as someone failing a parental DNA test.

So of course Moonpaw could be disabled but in the same way literally any character could be disabled. There’s been nothing in her design or the rest of the source material we’ve seen thus far that indicates she’s canonically disabled. Her chimerism is irrelevant to this subject.

Chimerism is also not inherently an intersex condition, although it absolutely can be. Intersex conditions occur when there are chromosomal, hormonal or anatomical variations that deviate from the narrowly defined social norm of one sex or another.

Ezra is a well-known chimera who with 96% XX and 4% XY chromosomes in blood but 100/% XY chromosomes in skin which means Ezra is intersex… but if the zygotes that fused were both XX or XY the individual would not be intersex due to their chimerism, though.

Discrimination of intersex people is a real problem.

But it has nothing to do with Moonpaw as a chimera.

Of course Moonpaw could be intersex, the same as any character could be intersex. Moonpaw can even be intersex as a direct result of her chimerism, as is the case with Ezra! But being a chimera in and of itself isn’t an indication that she’s intersex, it is entirely possible for her to be a chimera and still be endosex.

So once again there is nothing present in the canon we’ve been presented with thus far to indicate she’s canonically intersex, and if she is intersex then her chimerism may or may not be relevant.

And finally… the inbreeding issue.

I’d like to emphasize that Moonpaw being inbred was not a deliberate choice made by the authors and is not intended to represent individuals born from a consanguineous union. The cast of these books are tremendous and they fail to keep track of the family tree, frequently resulting in related characters being paired essentially due to sloppy record keeping.

So with this in mind nothing has been included in the canon thus far to indicate Moonpaw canonically experiences any adverse effects due to her lineage.

Anyways, it seems that people learned about the Habsburg family in 9th grade and that they had health kssues attributed to inbreeding and that… is where their knowledge on the subject ends, I guess?

The problem with inbreeding from a strictly biological perspective is that recessive traitd are retained and perpetuated. This article from BBC Earth does a pretty good job of breaking down the jist of the issue in a language that’s pretty accessible to the layperson.

Speaking of the Habsburg I’ve seen Moonpaw’s situation related to them a few times so I plugged Moonpaw’s family and the Habsburg family into a calculator to see how similar their COI (coefficient of inbreeding) is.

Moonpaw has a COI of 11.62% which is about the same degree of relatedness as first cousins while Charles II of the Habsburg family had a COI of 25.20% which is the same degree of relatedness as half-siblings.

So if Moonpaw were to display characteristics of inbreeding they would most likely be hypertyping (essentially extreme preservation of family traits), recessive traits (which may be benign) or inherited disorders such as PK Deficiency.

Other characteristics of inbreeding in cats that we’ve seen come through the clinic include pectus excavatum, abnormal testicular and lymphatic tissue, bilateral or unilateral cryptorchidism, or non-severe structural abnormalities such as a syndactyl digit or additional, small tail vertebrae.

So there’s no reason to believe Moonpaw would resemble the mother from Barbarian (2022) and real people born of incest don’t actually look and act like that either. It’s a horror movie myth and acting like it’s an accurate representation does a disservice to those genuinely born into and disabled due to such circumstances.

Side Note: Jokes about incest aren’t funny and stereotypes about inbreeding in rural areas are deeply rooted in classism.

A final note that the inbreeding is entirely unrelated to the chimerism, there is no evidence that inbreeding increases the likelihood of chimerism occuring. So logically and canonically her chimerism and her inbreeding exist completely independent of each other.

So TL;DR

Moonpaw could be a chimera but the premise that her split-face is indicative of being a chimera is based in misinformation.

Moonpaw being a chimera is not and is not related to a disability.

Moonpaw being a chimera can cause her to be intersex but her being intersex is not a given based solely on her being a chimera.

Moonpaw is inbred due to author negligence but the way people visualize the effects of this are grossly sensationalized.

Moonpaw being inbred and Moonpaw being a chimera are unrelated.

Chimera, disability and intersex headcanons are awesome for any and all characters indepent of canon. Go wild!

[sleepyconfusedpotato]

Hiiii me again

Related to the post about the ownership of characters and the tags you put-

I just wanted to mention that you’ve given me a lot of confidence. I used to be the type of person who believed “if your oc even breathes in the direction of a canon character, it’s cringe and Mary Sue and you’ll be ripped to shreds for it.” I’d have to tread so lightly with characters I enjoyed and love them from afar because I felt if I made even a joke post someone would bring it up.

I’ve only just gotten into the cod fandom, found your blog a couple months ago, and it’s given me a lot of like. Idk!! Just “fuck it, do what you want” kinda vibes in the best way? It’s really hard to word this lmao. But since finding your blog I’ve made a 141 character, a shadow, literally shipping an oc with ghost now, and I’m having fun that I wouldn’t have if I didn’t find your blog

So thank you <3

Hello! (｡･∀･)ﾉﾞ

Well, It's been an apparent issue in this fandom. idk why, but when I visit other fandoms, the sense of ownership and possessiveness to the characters is not that high, like what's up with these people I don't know. Like, the characters in media, especially in games, don't belong to anyone except the studios that made them 😭

We as fandom members can create original characters, alternative universes, and stuff for them. I can't imagine a piece of media without fanarts, fics, and OC's really. Heck, that's what keeps the fandom alive. If there's one thing we can learn from history of media, is that you can't hold back people's creativity. OF COURSE, there are cringe ones and unhinged ones, but it's fandom, of course, it's filled with different types of people from normal to bizarre ones.

Here's the thing, just because one person has already shipped their OC with one character, that doesn't mean that character is LOST forever to that one particular OC like it's a damn popularity competition 😭.

I've also seen some people saying that they're so emotionally attached to this one character, that if they see him with someone else's OC. they get super emotional and super angry?? Okay that's just-- WOW.

If you feel uncomfortable seeing your favorite character being shipped with someone else, then that just means that you're NOT ready and not mature enough to be an OC creator and be in a fandom space. Full stop.

and if I may speak from experience, I've lost a few friendships due to being... quite popular OC shipper with Ghost 🥲 I personally don't feel anything when I see other's OC's with Ghost, or any character I like with other OC's -- I EVEN DRAW OTHER OC'S WITH GHOST FOR COMMISSIONS 😭

But yeah, before I yap too much, thank you so much for the good words in the last paragraph! It's very very lovely, and I'm glad you have your own OC to have fun with! Happy creating and happy drawing💖!

[smallishzine]

Just a small heads up, if you include shipping you may wanna make it clear that there are ships and what ships are there. A lot of people aren’t comfortable with shipping, especially since I’ve seen people say Joel thinks it’s a bit weird to be shipped with anyone other than Lizzie (needs to be fact checked, this is just what I’m seeing in boat boys comment sections). Maybe consider making the ship stuff a separate section or just telling people in advance (pinned post, bio, anywhere clear works) that it includes shipping so those who don’t like it can walk away.

important info about the zine plz read even if you didn’t send the ask:

thank you for the heads up! We’re about to get super rambly and vaguely off topic but we promise all your points get addressed. This is actually a great opportunity to clarify, because I realized I didn’t explain myself particularly clearly, if some one does choose to include shipping, its all going to have to be subtext (as always except for shadowbeans whose alternate ship name I still refuse to use), but that is for non-canon ships. Regardless of how people feel about it, c!Joel and c!Jimmy did in fact kiss in Real Life smp, and c!Joel and c!Sausage did in fact have a child together in esmp2, so we’re not gonna rewrite events. Basically when I say shipping in the context of this zine I mean taking relationships the c!Joel had with other people and creating moments that didn’t necessarily happen but feel plausible for the characters that are able to be interpreted as romantic as well as platonic. Also, everyone’s definition of ship art is different, so the level that I was thinking is pretty mild (and btw I’d like to interject here that this is not me dissing on shipping or ship art love shipping so much that I found a ship called the relation and I never left it, but I also know that people have all sorts of comfort levels with different things so this zine is going to be dry docked but I assure you that out there on my super secret personal blog we are very much lost at sea). Like, to give some examples of what would be okay versus not okay for the zine: kissing is pretty much off limits, honestly mostly because that’s a pretty boring zine piece, there’s nothing going on except the ship, but anything where any sort of romance is up to the interpretation, such as hugging, handholding, spending time with, these are all normal things, but also this can’t be the focus of the piece. Please no one just draw like Joel and someone hugging and call it a day. Implied shipping is allowed to feature in your piece, not be the main focus of it. That’s just not an interesting zine piece. Valid art/writing, still amazing stuff keep sharing it on the internet it’s very interesting, just not in the context of this zine. Anyway, you are correct about not everyone being comfortable with that stuff, so if any piece comes off as really shippy without violating the guidelines we’ll make sure to label it correctly, but also, I should make it clear, I’m really hoping that shipping doesn’t become the focus of this zine. It is a Joel zine, so Joel should remain the focus, and any shipping would be subtextual and not central to the zine. There are many great Joel ships out there with lovely content to consume, but that’s not really the focus of this zine. Also, that aside, if Joel doesn’t want his character (because we are talking about shipping cs here. Cc!Joel is a lovely person, but this zine is going to be in-character. Also while cc!Joel should absolutely be respected in what sort of fan content he wants people making about him, his character is, well, just that: a character. Its like saying you can’t ship two characters from an animated tv show because their irl voice actors aren’t comfortable being shipped. It’s just two different things) shipped with characters who don’t belong to his wife, he should probably stop making his c! kiss all those men. And have children with them. And send them love hearts in the mail. And call them babe. If he did it in canon it’s probably safe to say we’re good having them do it in fan content. But again shipping should be an extremely small part of the zine if it’s there at all and should be subtextual enough that even people who don’t ship can still positively engage with the zine!!! If it needs a warning, it’s probably too shippy.

also all this aside if I’m handling this wrong guys I’m sorry I’m only one person and it’s really stressful trying to please everybody I promise I’m trying my best but I just wanna get together with a bunch of other people who share this strange fascination with the bean man and make art and writing about it I don’t wanna get canceled or something I promise I’m trying my best. I’m really struggling to balance my love of creating shipping fan content and realizing that not everyone is comfortable with that and it’s really difficult and stressful I just can’t we all just draw and write what makes us happy I just want this to be a fun experience and being yelled at on the internet for drawing two characters who’s ccs aren’t in an irl relationship being something other than friends is not my definition of a good time. I’m not accusing you anon of doing anything like that the ask was very respectful but I’m worried this post will prompt less polite people to come and yell at me.

-mod Dinn

[chaos-in-deepspace]

L&DS Rafayel: Fireworks Display | Drabble

Fun fact about the writer: I am terrified of Fireworks. They're too loud and scary. They freak me out almost as much as thunderstorms do.

Pairing: Rafayel x Reader Warning: None Disclaimer: This is an original fan work for “Love and Deepspace”. Do not repost on other platforms or plagiarize. All characters shown in this fic is 18+.

Blog Information | Masterlist

Rafayel

The setting sun felt beautiful, no longer beating down harshly on your skin. You relaxed in the lounge chair you shared with Rafayel, pressed against him with a head on his chest. It was perfect, and you could see the fireworks going off on the beach a few ways away from your location.

You glanced at Rafayel, who had his phone out and seemed to be endlessly scrolling through something. The fireworks were loud in the distance, and you heard a thunderous bang. You looked over to see a blast of blues and purples raining down into the ocean below.

“Raf, weren’t you the one who wanted to see the fireworks?” you asked, noticing he hadn’t flinched when that one went off. It was a vast display, and he had called you early that day to see if you were free that night. The moment he told you there would be fireworks on the beach, you were already making your preparations. Now that you were here, he seemed too absorbed into his device, something that certainly wasn’t like him in the slightest.

Rafayel shrugged, “This thing happens a few times every year, so I’ve seen it a thousand times,” he explained, taking a moment to glance at you. You huffed, almost pouting at his lack of interest in the explosions.

You were no longer looking at the fireworks, instead resting your chin on his chest so he could get a good view of the disappointed look on your face, “Okay, but this is the first time you’re seeing it with me. It’s totally different, Raf,” you whined, wanting to kick your feet in a mini tantrum just to get your point across in a language he can understand.

Rafayel locks his phone, placing it to the side, “Don’t give me that look,” he began, “You’re making it seem like I’m a criminal,” that’s because he was judging by how he wouldn’t enjoy these things with you right now, “Not to mention we saw a fireworks display two months ago over in Linkon,” he just had to remind you.

“Okay, but that’s not us being curled up on a lounge chair on a beach watching fireworks. It was crowded in Linkon. Now it’s just us two,” you crawled a little closer, “It’s a totally different experience,”

“Oh, but when I want to celebrate eating oysters together, suddenly it’s a weird thing to do since the week before we celebrated having crab for the first time together?” he finally said, and now you were laughing.

“Totally fucking different, Raf,” you shook your head, “Besides, what were you so interested in on your phone? You normally never ignore me to be on it,” you said, going to grab the device. You could feel Rafayel tensing up underneath you as his eyes widened.

“Oh, it was nothing,” he tried assuring you, but this only made you curious. You pressed your thumb down on the finger lock, happy that the man had allowed you to put your thumbprint in there months ago. You guys trusted one another enough, and he also had his own thumbprint on your phone.

The page that opened was a shopping page, and you could see sparklers of all colors there. Before you could question it, he grabbed the phone out of your hands and held it out of reach. “I said it was nothing.” Oh, he had that adorable flush on his cheeks again.

You laughed, looking behind you to see people on the beach playing with them. They seemed too far away, just little dots, but you could hear the laughter that seemed to be carried on the wind.

“Raf, were you jealous we didn’t have sparklers of our own after watching everyone else playing with them?” you asked, amusement clearly in your voice.

“I was not,” he protested,”

You laughed some more, grabbing his cheeks and squishing them, “You’re so adorable when you try to lie about these things, Raf,” you said with a smirk, “If you wanted to play with sparklers that bad though, we could always do this again next weekend?”

“There aren’t any fireworks going off next weekend,” he reminded you, and you shrugged.

“Then we can get our own fireworks,” you said as you leaned in. You couldn’t help it; he looked too adorable not to kiss. Your lips pressed against one another for a moment, and Rafayel instantly melted, dropping his phone to the sand below as his hands went to grab your waist.

“Promise you’ll set off fireworks with me?” he asked as soon as your lips parted. He stared at you like a lovestruck puppy, which made your heartbeat go a little faster as you licked your lips.

“Wouldn’t have said it if I wasn’t going to follow through,”

You leaned in again, wanting to kiss him. A loud bang followed, lighting the two of you up as your lips continued to melt together.

Rafayel is so down bad I'm telling you...like he wants to experience everything together.

[darkonekrisrewrite]

The Villains (specifically the Lov) Are Right

Especially about the civilians in Bnha

(2 Part Meta Civilians and Lov) (Warning spoilers and long Meta Post) (Permission given to re-blog)

The Lov, specifically the core League of Villains, don’t owe any consideration, atonement or apologies to the civilians in Bnha. Because since long before the Lov had even become villains, even when they were still children, the civilians decided that they don’t owe them anything at all.

Most people I’ve seen in the fandom say something like “I don’t justify or excuse the villain’s actions.”, when it comes to the destructive/murderous parts of the villain’s deeds, which is very nice and moral of them to say.

But as long as we’re talking about the average Bnha civilian, I definitely justify/excuse the Lov’s actions.

Because the “innocent” people in Bnha are awful.

Part 1 The Civilians

That’s not even an opinion really but rather a fact that’s been presented to us clearly, over and over again, in Bnha’s story.

That’s partially why I believe that, even at their worst, the Lov are still worth more than most of the civilians that we’ve been shown so far.

See Past the Labels

“Heroes”, “Villains”, “Innocent People”. All labels that are used frequently over the course of Bnha, but seeing past these, looking beyond what we’re told by the story and instead seeing what we are shown by the story, that’s where the truth is in what these characters are and the effects their actions have on each other.

In Hero stories, saving the innocent/civilians is pretty much a guarantee at any point in time, it’s a prerequisite.

Where in most of those fiction, the civilians (or any large social group of innocents) are shown to definitely be people that should be saved, that it would be a tragedy if even some of them died, no matter the numbers.

But that’s not the case here, because the civilians in bnha aren’t like what you’d normally find in a hero tale, so much so that they’re nearly incomparable to any other series’ “Innocents”.

Looking at them as a whole, they’re more like what you’d find in a horror story.

Starting with one of the largest by the numbers examples:

They’re personifications of the bystander effect/syndrome, taken to the highest degree.

A truth that’s sometimes overlooked is that, while All for One and the Shimura family played a part in making Tenko Shimura the Tomura Shigaraki that he is today, so did all the civilians above. If even a single one of them had tried to help the child that would become the most dangerous villain, no matter how that would have turned out, the person Shigaraki is now would be different, maybe entirely.

Even just one true attempt to aid the scary looking child, instead of leaving it to the heroes who weren’t there, would have made a lasting impact. Just like the civilians choosing not to lift a finger to help left a lasting impact on Shigaraki in the present.

They condemn people for things that aren’t their fault, even when the individual hasn’t done anything wrong:

These are pretty self-explanatory in the point, but these aren’t just examples of ‘bad luck’, they showcase a callous legal system and civilians willing to throw a 16 year old kid under the bus for something that was in no way his ‘stumble’ or fault.

(First Side Point: Twice didn’t turn to a life of villainy because it was his “choice”. There’s been zero evidence of any social help for victims of hero society’s circumstances, so there’s no reason to assume that Twice had any help in supporting himself after his parents died. Twice then getting fired from his low level Job and having a glaring blemish on his record (as shown above ^) was a death sentence for a normal life right then and there, especially considering the setting in hero society (Japanese culture taken to its most socially merciless), it doesn’t really need to be spelled out any more than that why he turned to a life of crime against a society that screwed him over at every level and left him to rot. Between becoming a tragic statistic that the hero state didn’t (and still doesn’t) care about or becoming a villain for the chance at having some kind of life, it’s not really a choice at all. The saying ‘Cool motive still Murder’ comes up sometimes when taking about specific villains in Bnha and my response to that would be: ‘Then Suffer and Die Nobly.’ There is no ‘being better’ because if they were better in their current circumstances, they’d just quickly become a statistic.)

They’d rather someone, even their own children; suffer in silence than be seen as anything but their “normal”:

Toga’s parents might seem like a more ‘personal’ point but they’re actually a prime example of the standard bnha civilian, caring nothing about their own suffering young and only about their own lives and normalcy. Even when Toga was obviously self-harming due to her quirk, something that couldn’t logically have been hidden from them, there was no real attempts to help her with this other than rejection (as evident by the parents stopping taking her height down on the wall when her quirk presumably manifested, clearly meant to be a hint that it was the point that they stopped caring about her) and sending her to “Quirk Counseling”, taking no responsibility in helping their child and taking none after Toga was broken under the weight of what was normal after struggling to hold back for so many years.

This mentality extends past Toga’s parents to most of bnha’s civilians.

When Dabi revealed himself as Toya and exposed the Todoroki family’s past the world, nobody cared. At least not in any way that could be considered ‘caring’.

Endeavor bought and bred his wife, and it’s very debatable whether or not the later ‘child making’ could be considered consensual.

Rei told endeavor that it was “too much” and “too cruel”, all but saying that she didn’t want to have any more children, and in the anime it’s played even more clearly:

This ^ does not seem like consent.

Also letting his first born son burn himself to his apparent death because he couldn’t be bothered to care enough to prevent it.

Endeavor knew Toya was burning himself and he never got him any psychiatric help, even though Toya was already having extreme signs of mental breaks alongside the burning, he never even thought about it.

Even if this failed in stopping Toya, Endeavor just could have pulled some strings as the number 2 hero and gotten Toya Hero tech/equipment/suits, anything that might have helped.

But all Endeavor did was tell Toya to stop and do “other things” and when that failed he simply ignored him, even though he knew his child was literally burning himself.

(Endeavor could be considered an unreliable narrator, I think other great Meta writers have already called him on that, with him telling Natsuo that he never meant to neglect any of his children, which is evident (by how he treated Toya) as complete Bullshit.)

Now do the civilians know all of this down to a T?

No, but even before the Dabi reveal there was more than enough sketchy events surrounding Endeavor to raise eyebrows on anyone paying attention.

A son burning to death alone on a mountain, another son getting a burn scar on his face and a wife in a Mental Hospital, more than a little suspicious. Nobody ever looked into it.

And after the Dabi reveal, after Endeavor confirmed what Dabi said to everyone, this is the only Civilian backlash he gets:

Nobody cared what happened to the Todoroki family; they only cared about how it affected them. The first half of that anger wasn’t even about the Todoroki drama.

And while the mention of Dabi’s victims and their families might seem like consideration, paired alongside everything else the bnha civilians are/do, I really doubt that the line comes from a genuine place of sympathy.

They have no loyalty to their best Heroes:

After everything Deku did for them, they wouldn’t risk a single thing for him. Most of them don’t even look anxious or afraid, just angry at their lives being disrupted.

Telling the kid who nearly worked himself to death, fighting so that they could have their lives back to piss off, while danger sense was being activated implying that they did mean him very real harm.

 Another big point against the Civilians that’s brought up a lot:

They’re violently racist. (Quirk-ist? Anti-Mutant? Basically against anyone very different in their appearance and/or their quirks.)

Mutants are an obvious Allegory for the racism/minority angle of the story, and it never casts the majority of the civilians in a positive light when it’s touched upon.

(Second Side point: Revisiting the end of ‘Side Point One’ because it pairs perfectly here, Shoji Mezo’s “Answer” to the horrible treatment the Heteromorph/mutants face is the opposite of that, and by that I mean Shoji’s answer is pretty much: Aspects of Uncle Tom’s Cabin Syndrome (an American theory/term but a Universal Theme) mixed with the acceptance of hero martyrdom.

His words to the Heteromorphs are this: “Let’s use that light to change the people who hurt us. So that they’ll feel ashamed to ever raise their fists against us again.”

Very inspiring…or at least it would be, were his words not disproven by his own backstory. 

Shoji got his Scars ^ after he saved the little girl, in fact him saving her life was literally the cause of it.

There is no greater way to Shine or be heroic than doing what Shoji did, saving the life of a small child from drowning to death, and for that act the “Innocent People” gave him the Joker facial treatment.

Seriously if there’s a group of people who “don’t deserve to be saved” in Bnha; it is civilians like this.

Yet Shoji’s answer is still to “Be better than mere Avengers” and if they don’t the Heteromorph’s “Children will become the next Target!” as if they weren’t already??

None of it makes sense when looking at the whole picture and it’s clearly not a great plan, to draw another American based parallel that fits too well not to be noticed despite it being American; Shoji Mezo is basically Sturdy Harris from the Boondocks TV Series (freedom ride or die episode).

Look up the character’s wiki info or watch the episode, the fact that Shoji is willing to use violence in some extreme instances might seem a difference between them but the fact that he urges the other Heteromorphs to “be better than avengers” and “use their light to change the people who hurt us until they feel ashamed”, giving no thought as to whether or not his fellow Heteromorphs could even survive living by that standard like he can, fits the comparison to a T.)

Back to the final few points about the Bnha Civilians:

Are the Civilians in Bnha conditioned to be this way, products of influence and circumstance much like the heroes and villains are?

Kind of but not really.

While it is true that there are mountains of propaganda in hero society, there’s nothing specific enough to point to and say that this is why the Bnha civilians are this level of callous. They’re conditioned to love heroes and fear the violent villains they’re fighting, not to ignore the suffering of children (even their own) completely, and they’re definitely not compelled through propaganda to reject them or scar them, nothing in the series is evident of that.

And even worse, all of these examples of the people’s flaws/incidents (excluding the Ordinary Woman Heteromorph) happened during Allmight’s “Era of Peace”, so there’s no shifting the blame onto the villain’s current actions and even less excuse for things like these to be happening.

Why should the Bnha civilians have peace or justice if they’re like this?

If they show no more empathy or loyalty than the worst, most unsympathetic villains in the series (Like AFO) then maybe their point of view shouldn’t be considered any more than his. (And even AFO had some truth in his points: Failed social framework and the Quirk Singularity.)

To draw one final example for the Civilians with another Manga series that has pretty awful ‘ordinary people’ in it: Naruto.

But even in Naruto, the Author still showed that there were good people among the Civs. Population that weren’t like that and that did deserve to be protected and live peaceful lives, people who were outside of the Ninja system and just genuinely humane.

Before Naruto became a hero who saved the village multiple times, before he was even a ninja, they treated him like the human child he was.

These characters deserve their own Meta, other Naruto fans have probably written them already.

But suffice to say that the people who treated right the abandoned and hated child, host to a demon Fox that could casually level mountains, Teuchi Ramen (Owner and Daughter), are an excellent example of giving narrative motivation to “protect the people”.

There’s not much of anything like that in Bnha’s story, not anyone to point at and say; “They are worth saving/protecting!” and having it actually be true instead of just ‘What the hero is supposed to say’.

 And if anyone disagrees with this, I’ll ask: Can one instance of goodwill be pointed to for the Bnha civilians? Any act of compassion, bravery or selflessness from someone in Bnha who wasn’t in anyway associated with heroes?

And no, the Civilians letting Deku stay at UA does not count.

It wasn’t even framed as selfless or compassionate anyway:

This ^ is a deal more than anything else.

Because the heroes (Deku) swore they’d fix things and the people practically made him swear it before they were let in.

Kota and the Ordinary Woman running to stand by Deku was a sweet and great moment but considering that he saved them first, it seemed more like a ‘returning the Favor’ sentiment. Same with the rogue Civillian group helping Shindo after he fought Muscular, more a give it back than a gift.

 Part 2 The Lov

Even at their worst, the Lov still display humanity and redeeming qualities more than most of the civilians.

And I believe that this is 100% truth because Actions/Dialogue without reason for deception and inner thoughts, imply genuine Truth.

Actions:

This ^ scene is referred back to a lot because it’s a good showing of Compassion/Bonds, one of the first really, in the League of Villains, in Toga saving Twice from ‘coming apart’.

Toga has no real reason to comfort Twice as much as she does in this series, in this first instance and in later ones, because aside from one time (no matter how cool and heartfelt it was) in MVA when Twice saves her and the rest of the League, Twice kind of messed things up more than a few times for the Lov.

Bringing Overhaul to meet the Lov without precaution resulting in the death of Magne (even though she herself rushed in recklessly), Twice’s personal hang-ups limiting his Quirk lessening his value to operations overall (from a purely strategic standpoint), and trusting Hawks (because he felt bad for him) so much he gave out Info that definitely shouldn’t have been given.

Yet despite having one singular success in MVA that Twice really pulled through among many other shortcomings, Toga still cared about him. Enough to try to help him hold himself together during the Overhaul business and then later go on a violent, rage filled assault toward the Heroes during the MLA raid after Twice was killed, giving little thought to her own safety.

Dialogue without reason for deception:

While Shigaraki is definitely an unreliable narrator, as evident by the monologue ^ in the bottom panel clearly contradicting what actually happened during the death of his family, the middle panel where he states that he only wants “Them” (definitely the Lov) to live as they see fit seems like the truth.

Because why would Shigaraki lie here? In this time or place to Redestro, someone he presently had no reason to manipulate, as they were in a life or death fight?

Shigaraki couldn’t have known Redestro would surrender, at this point he was talking to someone he fully intended to kill, further dissipating any suspect of manipulation.

Shigaraki does care about his comrades, their wishes and while he hasn’t really kept the promise he made as of current Bnha, I think that’s a result of All for One scrambling his Brain so much during the Mental Fusion stuff, the true Shigaraki barely seeming to know what’s going on half the time and only able to think about his past.

Twice and Spinner: Basically everything about them.

They might not think things through that much, but there’s no doubt that Twice and Spinner were and still are devoted to who they care about, true loyalty in all its successes and faults.

Inner Thoughts:

Dabi is…kind of a dick most of the time, even to the Lov, just to a much lesser extent than to everyone else.

It makes sense that he’d act that way though, given what he’s been through and the end goal of his plans, it’s understandable why he’d want to push everyone away in some form and not let them get too close.

But even underneath all of that, Dabi much like the rest of the core Lov never blamed Twice for his mistakes, and since this is an inner thought and thus having no reason for manipulation, it does imply that this is his honest truth.

Knowing that Twice would blame himself, although he never said it out loud, maybe he couldn’t with all of his own personal hang-ups, Dabi inside probably did want to reassure Twice that none of this was his fault.

The Core Lov do have empathy towards others abandoned and hurt by Hero Society like themselves, and they do care about each other, that is as much as they’re able to care about each other while being weighed on by their own individual issues.

 The hero kid’s parents

Lastly for this Meta, there are parts of Hero Society that shouldn’t ever be destroyed, but they fall into small groups and come with their own faults.

The Hero Kid’s parents shouldn’t be destroyed just by virtue of being so close to the better/more heroic characters, but even they aren’t that great with possibly one exception.

Inko Midoriya has technically tried to protect Izuku but she never really helped him. She basically apologies for his existence in the childhood flashback, and until Izuku got a Quirk and became a Hero, she was never really shown to encourage him in anything, even to find happiness in other things.

Despite having doubts herself about saying the wrong thing to her son, Inko later tries to keep him from going back to UA for very good reason from a parent’s point of view.

But then she’s pretty easily convinced by a promise from Allmight, that wasn’t in anyway kept. Cut to the Dark Deku stuff later, she never calls Allmight out on this.

It’s the same story with little difference for all the student’s parents, they’ve never been shown to try to protect their children, especially at the UA confrontation with the Civilian Mob.

Inko, Bakugo’s parents, Ochako’s parents, and I’m just assuming the rest of them to cause it makes sense for them to be at the UA shelter, none of them helped.

I know Inko was being held back by Mitsuki because it was dangerous, but couldn’t she have shaken her off?

Kota did and ran to Deku to try to help him, and he was a little kid being held back Pixiebob (a Hero).

That probably wasn’t what Hori was going for or implying but that’s what happened.

Is this an illogical thought process that would be dangerous or harmful for the parents? Definitely.

But that’s the point. The parental instinct that goes beyond self-preservation and logic to protect their children hasn’t been shown for any of them.

Except one.

*Current Spoiler Warning*

 Rei Todoroki in the recent chapter stands apart and above in this aspect, although this depends very much on how it’s framed going forward.

A mother fighting to stop her child from killing himself more than trying to stop a Villain from killing. Both true but one has to take front over the other for it to be meaningful, for Rei to show that she will stop Touya from burning himself this time, unlike how she wouldn’t before.

That’s character development, that’s parental instinct.

*Very current Spoilers*

 Rei is there for Touya  :)  trying to save her son…and also Endeavor maybe?

Close enough (Double Thumbs UP!)

 The children

Another group that definitely should never destroyed is the Young Children of Bnha, Kota, Eri, the work studies Kid group.

I put them into a separate category than the whole of the Civilians but it would take a lot to explain why that is and why they can be viewed as their own separate group, so I’ll put it in the next Meta and expand on how they relate to the existential parts of Bnha.

Also same for the villains/heroes and finally getting to the Quirk Singularity Theory.

To be Continued…

[spacelazarwolf]

I'm so confused about the people who talk out about your blog and your blog.

Like I've seen people calling you antisemitic however you are jewish. Like being Jewish doesn't give someone a free pass against antisemitism as you can deep down hate being a jew and hate all jews. However I haven't seen anything on your blog which is antisemitic.

Do I agree with all of your opinions? No. I have never met someone who I share all opinions with. Differing opinions is normal and a part of life. Have I seen antisemitic posts from you? Also no however I potentially could have missed something.

Any clarification of what is going on would be very much appreciated however I understand if you don't want to answer this.

it’s literally just that ppl don’t like me and are obsessed with lying abt me. sometimes it’s bc they hate that i talk abt the oppression trans men face, sometimes it’s that i’m unapologetic when talking abt antisemitism. lately it’s been bc i’m vocal abt antisemitism on the left.

my guess would be that you’re seeing posts from ppl who are using the logic of “zionism is antisemitic and i’ve decided spacelazarwolf is a zionist despite the fact he’s said numerous times that he’s not therefore spacelazarwolf is antisemitic and i am very smart!!!!!” either that or posts from hardcore right wing zionists who will claim i’m antisemitic bc i don’t think zionism is the answer to global antisemitism.