#like the Normal People that I’ve seen on the blogs is different from the Normal People that I’m reading

[seobover]

jongseob x chubby!reader

warnings: hurt/comfort, insecurities, kissing, jongseob is so sweet, so sweet i might gag, kinda very self insert,

(warning, i’m a nsfw blog so even though this post is sfw, keep that in mind !!)

a typical date night with you and jongseob. he took you out to a fancy restaurant, and had booked a table in the far corner away from everyone’s sight.

you always found it a bit weird — sure, you knew he liked privacy and you wanted some too, but it still made you feel uneasy. why did he always book a table at a spot no one could see you? did he not want to show you off? was he embarrassed to be seen with you? was it because of your weight?

yeah, it might be your own insecurities weighing you down and making you overthink, but was it really?

tonight had been no different. it was your anniversary date — yet your table was still hidden from all eyes.

you had put on your prettiest dress, matched it with your prettiest jewerly, you had even spent hours on doing your hair as perfect as possible.

yet he still kept you hidden.

—

jongseob notices something being off when you don’t even do so much as to look at the dessert he ordered for you two to share. he thought it would be a romantic idea to do, and he knew you loved when he did romantic things for you.

jongseob takes a deep breath, gently reaching his hand over the table to rest it on top of yours. ”what’s wrong?” he asks.

you swallow thickly, not looking anywhere near him.

”talk to me, angel,” he whispers softly.

”are you embarrassed of me? you don’t want people to see me? is that why you’re hiding me from others? why you always get us a table from a hidden spot?” you blurt out, finally lifting your gaze to look at him.

”no, it’s.. wait what?” he stammers. ”you think i’m embarrassed to be seen with you?”

you nod, feeling a lump form in your throat, tears already threatening to fall. he notices this, quickly cupping your face to wipe your tears with his thumbs.

”baby, that’s not the case at all. i thought you knew why i did this,” he says softly.

”what do you mean?” you ask, voice shaky.

”i’m sorry, baby, i should’ve explained it to you. i love taking you out, you know, and i want to be able to do it as normal as i can so.. this is just a safety caution,” he speaks, softly. ”i would show you off all the time if it wasn’t dangerous.. because with my job being what it is, i can’t put you in danger by showing you off. the ’fans’ can be crazy, you know?” he frowns slightly.

you look down again, not buying it. you can’t help the thoughts from coming up. would he hide a skinny girl like this?

”baby, look at me,” jongseob murmurs. you lift your gaze up at him.

”i love you, you know that, right?” he says softly. ”i love all of you. i’m not trying to hide you because i’m embarrassed of you, because i’m absolutely not embarrassed. i wish i could show you off, hype you up to everyone but… i can’t. for your safety, and for my safety, this is what i have to do. and i’m sorry for that.”

”what if i was skinny?” you ask quietly.

”oh, sweetheart,” he sighs softly, caressing your cheek. ”it’s not about your weight or anything like that. i’d have to do this, no matter what you look like, i’d have to keep you safe.”

your tears start flowing freely, and he quickly gets up and rushes to the other side of the table to pull you in a comforting embrace.

”you mean the world to me,” he whispers. ”i like you, all of you. your body, too, all your curves, your softness, i love it all.”

he holds you close, rubbing circles on your back gently.

”let’s go home, alright? i want to make you feel loved,” jongseob whispers softly.

-

jongseob holds your hand as he guides you to his dorm room. he grabs a few snacks as you walk through the kitchen.

”go sit on the bed, okay? i’ll get you something more comfortable to change into,” he says softly, closing his door after you both.

”your clothes won’t fit me,” you mumble.

”i bought clothes as a present for you. and i’ve worn them every once in a while so they have my scent. i ruined the surprise now but i have more surprises coming,” he says, giving you a pile of clothes.

he moves behind you to help you unzip your dress. ”this dress is nice,” he hums as you slip it off.

he takes in your naked form, letting his eyes travel on your body. ”beautiful,” he whispers.

”i’ll go get you a pair of clean underwear. you left some here last time and i thought i’d wash them and keep them here just in case,” he explains, slightly embarrassed.

he pulls you to the bed with him after you’ve changed into the more comfortable clothes he provided.

”i thought we could watch a movie and cuddle to sleep. how’s that sound?” he asks softly.

”sounds nice,” you respond.

he leans back from the embrace, looking into your eyes.

”do you want a kiss?” he asks. you nod.

he complies, gently cupping your face with his hands and pressing his lips on yours. the kiss is soft and sweet, and he tries to pour his love and affection to you through it.

he gently licks your bottom lip, asking for permission to slip his tongue in your mouth. he does just that as you let your mouth slightly fall open, softly exploring your mouth with his tongue.

the kiss breaks as you both have to come up for air. he nuzzles your nose with his, smiling softly.

”i adore you,” he whispers. ”you mean more to me than you know, but i’m going to make you so aware of all the love i feel for you.”

”i adore you too. i love you,” you whisper back.

he leans in, peppering your face with soft kisses, making you giggle.

”there it is, that adorable giggle of yours,” jongseob grins, his snaggle tooth peeking out.

you smile, and he swears his heart is about to burst from loving you so much.

he never thought he could love someone so much — but he’s glad he can. and he’s glad it’s you.

~~~ a/n: i haven’t written in so long my skills are nonexistent now..!! wrote this because as a chubby girl i never ever see any writing for us, everything’s always made for skinny girlies (who i very much love too!!!) so i decided to give our chubby seobie stans some love too! plus i’ve been feeling soo insecure lately and i need my seob to hype me up

i’m thinking about writing a nsfw part 2 to this.. lmk what y’all think

[goregfx]

MY GO-TO'S FOR EDITING.

I’ve decided to put together a masterlist of the resources I use, since I get asked about them pretty often. If you're somebody who can’t commission resource makers or you’re just wanting to get into editing or creating commissions yourself, I hope this helps.

pinterest. IMPORTANT NOTICE IF YOU UTILIZE THIS: avoid usings people's art; if you can get permission from an artist to use a piece, that's another discussion. Be warned there may also be ai mixed in, which I've personally got a good eye for spotting; i prefer to go by images i've seen long before the ai craze, since i've been on there for a while. your best bet is looking through miscellenous character boards. From there, you can choose images to blend or even make pngs out of, to give unique flare to your edits.

remove.bg + photokit. if you're looking to save time or don't have a way to cutout images manually ( i sometimes like to use my art tablet if I want to be really precise ), these are good ways to make pngs out of images you find, as opposed to png sites. i prefer this because ive caught adware on png sites before, plus there's also a lot of ai on those as well.

for screencaps, i use google images or youtube, since the quality is higher than anything on pinterest...though, psds are what normally cover up quality issues, from what i've learned. then again, it might depend on the psd. IMPORTANT NOTE IF YOU UTILIZE THIS: If you’re using google Images, searching for actual screencaps might lead you to blogs or websites dedicated to capping—many of which ask for credit if you use their content. Also, avoid reposting people's edits or gifs, since those will inevitably show up when searching faceclaim names and similar tags. on the off chance you find free-to-use faceclaim content, be sure to credit if/when asked !

photopea. it's a great alternative for those of us who can't be assed to learn adope, nor can afford it .

I know it doesn't look like much, but this is genuinely my go-to formula. I don't think there's any need for anything over the top. That said, if you guys have better alternatives or anything to add, feel free—this is just based on my own experience.

ADDITIONAL EDITING TIPS: If you find yourself stumped creatively or unsure how to approach using these, I’d recommend breaking down the character or setting you’re working with in terms of aesthetic. What are some keywords or imagery you associate with that muse ? Take a character like h/arry p/otter, for example—focus on individual visuals, important symbols, and signature colors. For him, I’d think of round glasses, lightning bolts, owls, candles, spell books, brooms, etc. Then, take each of those elements and explore them individually. I’d maybe start by looking up “owls” on Pinterest; from there, I might find images that can be turned into pngs. Repeat that process with every vibe or detail that comes to mind. You don’t have to limit yourself to making pngs either—feel free to experiment by blending different images together and building a look from there.

ADDITIONAL UPDATES/RECOMMENDATIONS:

Screencapped ( * will need an account )

VLC Media Player ( * good for screencaps / things you've downloaded from youtube )

[0viraptoraskblog]

Hello! I want to request about btd characters and their type, like what type of person do they prefer? Dating or not, I'm curious! Btw I love ur blog :3

Thank you! ^^ I hope you don’t mind I kept this one a bit short since I’ve answered similar things before. (Remember, canonically all of the characters like any kind of person, because it’s a player-insert game. They would never turn you down if you don’t fit these descriptions)

Strade- anyone, but he prefers introverts or people who act differently than others. People who look uncomfortable or have inappropriate displays of emotion (shouting, crying, etc in public). Those things all pique his interest!

Ren- Anyone; Ren isn’t picky, and he’s a friendly person in general. He’d like someone with similar interests as him. If you expressed an interest in anime for example, he’d have a mini freak out and excitedly start asking what your favorite is, how many you’ve seen, “hey, do you know this character?” Etc. He loves being able to share his likes with others.

Lawrence- people who he can relate to himself/people he feels a connection with. If they’ve also been outcasted like he has, (or have also seen the River) he feels a similarity and wants to hold onto that.

Sano- People who would make a good doll. That doesn’t mean feminine, necessarily; he has an eye for specific features, body structure, faces, skin. He likes healthy looking people.

Akira- someone who’s also an extrovert, at least enough to go out and party/have fun with him. Doesn’t have a preference for looks.

Vincent- he likes people who are smaller than him. It’s partially the (physical) power imbalance, but also just because he thinks they’re cute.

Farz- someone who isn’t annoying/overwhelming. If you respect his boundaries but have similar interests as him, he likes you.

Cain- Someone he views as unique or special. If you have interests that aren’t ‘basic’, special talents, etc it makes him interested. He likes watching you practice these things, and he likes knowing someone who steps outside the box.

Rire- someone entertaining, who keeps him on his toes metaphorically. He wants to be anything but bored.

Derek- He likes someone who he can pick on. He gets a lot of joy from making others miserable. He doesn’t have a ‘normal’ sense of preference aside from looks, which I discussed in another ask.

Celia- someone feminine, if given the choice. Someone obedient and eager to please her. Behavior can make or break your relationship with Celia.

Mason- He does like someone who takes initiative with things. Like, if you surprise him by knowing how to hunt or show a willingness to help out/go with him? It’s shocking, because he’s never known anyone like that— but he likes it.

[epicbuddieficrecs]

Weekly Recap | November 11th-17th 2024

Just an FYI, I have an account over at BlueSky at epicficrecs!

Also!! I just passed 300 different fic writers and podficcers recced since the beginning of this blog! 🥳 thank you all for your hard work and your invaluable contributions to this fandom!

Complete

indulgence by coldbam/ @coldbam (Post-S8E6: Confessions, Getting Together, PWP | 1K | Explicit): “Okay. I’ll be right back.” Eddie gets off the couch, leaning down to collect their empties from the table, putting himself right into Buck’s line of sight, eyes catching on— “Oh,” Buck says, as his finger connects to the back of Eddie’s right thigh. He didn’t even register moving, but he sees it right in front of him. He forces his hand back to his own body. “I’ve never seen that before,” he continues, referring to the small dark splotch on Eddie’s skin that’s transfixed him. It’s just—there’s not a lot that Buck doesn’t know about Eddie by now. Not a lot he hasn’t seen.

Clarity by xylodemon/ @xylodemon (Post-S8E6: Confessions, Getting Together | 1,7K | Explicit): As soon as they kissed, a thousand things had fallen into place—jokes and shoulder bumps and wordless exchanges, movies and zoo trips and engine rides spend thigh to thigh. In that moment, Buck had realized with absolute clarity what Tommy meant when he said he wouldn't be Buck's last. Because Buck's last is Eddie. It was always going to be Eddie.

never seen a bluer sky by Chash/ @ponyregrets (S8E6: Confessions Coda, Pre-Buddie | 2K | Teen): "Hey, what brings you joy?" Eddie is expecting some waffling in Buck's response. Maybe some suspicion. It's a weird thing to ask, obviously. Joy isn't a word he uses much, isn't a go-to. But even if what makes you happy is a more normal question, it's not right. He needs something deeper. And of course there's the Tommy of it all. Buck hasn't exactly been mourning or anything, but he's obviously down. It wouldn't be unreasonable for him to say that nothing is bringing him joy at the moment. It's not a particularly joyful time. But Buck doesn't hesitate, doesn't question. He just says, "The ocean," and doesn't even ask why Eddie wants to know.

all eyes on me, your illusionist by thelonggoodbye (Different First Meeting AU | 2K | Teen): Eddie doesn't like magic. He's just fond of this one magician, is all.

The Billy Boils Breakup Anthem by sibylsleaves/ @sibylsleaves (S8E5: Masks Fix-It | 2K | General): Buck gets dumped. Then he gets cursed.

just soothes the soul by rainbow_nerds/ @rainbow-nerdss (S8E6: Confessions Coda, Pre-Buddie | 2K | Mature): It’s quiet, apart from the music still playing over the speakers, Old Time Rock and Roll fading out, another equally upbeat song starting right after. The contrast of it is what gets to Buck. Whatever Eddie had been doing when Buck showed up, he’d seemed… different, than he’s been lately. Buck turns his head to look at Eddie properly. "You shaved."

safe haven by my_hopeless_opus (Established Buddie, Fluff | 3K | Teen): People pleaser Evan Buckley learns how to be the little spoon.

The Thanksgiving Trap by scarmaddiewrites (Post-S8E6: Confessions, Chris POV | 3K | Teen): Chris has got to get out of Texas. He has a plan!

Clouds Ain’t Leakin No Rain by vampirebuckley (Post-S8E6: Confessions, PWP | 3K | Explicit): “Tommy dumped me.” “Oh. Uhm. I’m sorry, Buck.” “Yeah, me too.” “Do you want to talk about it?” Eddie grimaces as the words leave his mouth. Buck sighs, again. Slumps back on the couch. “Not particularly.” “Okay then. No talking. Do you want to drink about it?”

these hands had to let it go free (and this love came back to me) by bibuckdiaz (Post-S8E6: Confessions, Getting Together | 3K | Mature): Buck comes to Eddie's house after Tommy breaks up with him. They have a lot to discuss and to confess to each other. Eddie finally lets himself feel joy, in more ways than one. or: Catholic guilt, repressed memories, and the joyful ordeal of being in love with your best friend.

i could take you (to have and to hold) by withmeornotatall/ @chronicowboy (S8E6: Confessions | 3K | General): Eddie goes to the cemetery, and he lets Shannon go. He lets her rest. And he shaves his moustache off. And he sits on his couch in his empty house and looks at a picture of Christopher and thinks I'm going to get him back And then Buck texts him. Broke up with Tommy. Beer (OR: eddie goes to church, buck breaks up with tommy, and things finally start to make sense)

ditch the clown, get the crown by sparkagrace/ @ohhsodebonair (Post-S8E6: Confession, Lakers Game Date | 3K | Teen): Eddie and Buck go to the Lakers game. They don't expect the kiss cam.

Happiness is a Bottle of Juice by scarmaddiewrites (Post-S8E7: Hotshots, Pre-Buddie | 4K | Mature): Eddie decides it’s time for him to go and get Christopher from Texas, sees something he shouldn’t, and has a conversation about juice.

🔥like sugar in my soul (how sweet it is to be loved by you) by granadas (Post-S8E6: Confessions, Getting Together | 4K | Mature): “I kind of have a sweet tooth,” Eddie admits. “It was easier when we were a little broke. I took my coffee black because I was always in a rush to my next shift, and we were scraping by, so any juice and sweets I bought were for Chris.” “So what changed?” Eddie’s finally looking at him, and he flushes. “I’m just trying this new thing,” he says, “where I stop punishing myself. I’m trying to be… nice to myself, I guess. For once. Like, showing myself that the world isn’t going to end if I do something just for me.” Or: Eddie is making changes to his life. Buck panics, until he doesn't.

The Five Deaths of Dorothy Diaz by thelonggoodbye (Established Buddie, Future Fic | 4K | Teen): Eddie buys a plant. Buck and Christopher are determined to keep him from finding out he keeps killing it.

Last and Forever by Kwills91/ @kwills91 (S8E6: Confessions Coda, Pre-Buddie | 5K | Teen): “I thought I needed to be punished. For what happened with Kim. I thought that’s what I deserved.” Buck wants to protest—say that’s not true—but Eddie knows him well enough to level him with a look that tells him not to before he even opens his mouth. “It didn’t feel like enough, what he asked me to do. So I left. And then I ran into him at this juice place. He noticed that I swapped the juice for water. Told me I was denying myself joy. Called me on being scared of being a failure, and about the mustache being a disguise.” “He got all that from juice?” Buck asks. Eddie laughs. “Yeah, he got all that from juice. Kind of.”

and I cannot, cannot go by Maira/ @mairaiscarrierofthepaperclips (Post-S8E6: Confessions, Hanahaki Disease, Getting Together | 5K | Teen): Did Buck really not know? Did he not realise that he was the reason Eddie was even alive today? That knowing Buck was there, having Buck in his life, was sometimes the only thing that made Eddie get out of bed in the morning? Did Eddie- was this Eddie’s fault?

bad idea, right? by brewrosemilk/ @gayhoediaz (Social Media Fic, Sexting | 6K | Explicit): Buck stumbles across Eddie's grindr profile.

we all assume the worst the best we can by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Established Buddie, Near Death Experience | 6K | Teen): When a rescue goes wrong, Buck and Bobby are trapped, while Eddie and Chim scramble to save them.

watch out (you might get what you’re after) by sparkagrace / @ohhsodebonair (Canon Divergent, Fratboy Eddie | 6K | Teen): The 118 keep getting called to a fraternity house and Buck can't stop thinking about the frat president Eddie Diaz (who is definitely not responsible for the fires).

you're my sun, my moon, my guiding star by wafflesofdoom/ @capseycartwright (Post-S8E6: Confessions, Getting Together | 8K | Teen): “Fine, let’s have it your way then,” Eddie slammed his phone down on the kitchen table. “You set me up a dating profile then – Hinge, Grindr, whatever you fucking want, Buck. Set me up a dating profile, and you pick which random man I need to sleep with to make it so you feel okay about wanting me.” in which evan buckley gets dumped, gets drunk with his best friend, realises he's in love with said best friend, and lets his abandonment issues get the best of him. because your first is never your last, right? so buck can't be eddie's first: he needs to be his last.

🔥 wanna be your endgame by literalmetaphor (Post-S8E6: Confessions, Getting Together, Pining | 10K | Mature): Maddie has her forehead against her hands, which are clasped in what looks to be prayer. “Okay, so – hang on, so Eddie’s gay?” “Yeah.” Buck can’t believe they’re doing this again. “And he told you he was in love with you.” “Right,” Buck says. “And you…” Maddie peeks up at him. “You’re in love with him?” “Absolutely.” Maddie draws in a long breath, and she splits her hands to pillow her face. “But you turned him down and told him you wanted to wingman for him instead?”

🔥 death wish love by Underhung_Aura/ @eddiebabygirldiaz (Post-S8E6: Confessions, Getting Together, PWP | 15K | Explicit): after getting dumped by tommy and going to eddie's, buck wakes up the next morning only to be pummeled by his hangover and his attraction to eddie

WIP

🔥 wicked dreams by hispolestar (Post-S7, BT Break-Up, Eddie Sexuality Crisis, Getting Together | 4/9 | 18K | Explicit): Eddie’s trouble starts with a dream. Well, it actually starts much earlier, when he runs into a woman who is the literal carbon copy of his dead wife. Or, alternatively it starts with a lightning bolt. Or a sniper. Or a firetruck. Or a car crash. Or, realistically, a grenade embedded in a seventh-grade teacher’s leg. It starts with blue eyes, broad shoulders and a tenacity that shocks Eddie to his very core. But right now, Eddie’s trouble starts with a dream. ~ Eddie, alone and confused, is navigating Christopher's extended stay in Texas, while also grappling with feelings he's been repressing for seven years. Buck, who misses Chris dearly, is struggling under Gerrard and his boyfriend's dismissive attitude. In the wreckage of their lives, they find each other.

🔥 Things We're All Too Young to Know by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon S1-S6, Divergent Post-S6 | 139/? | 446K | Mature): This is a love story. Even if it doesn’t always look like it. Even if it doesn’t always feel like it. A look back on Eddie and Buck's lives up to now, and what led them to each other, interpreted from the current 9-1-1 canon.

🔥 how come everybody's dancing but you? by showedupatyourparty (Post-S7 Spec, Eddie Sexuality Crisis | 3/4 | 31K | Mature): Buck feels guilty. Everyone he loves is going through something painful, difficult, or unexpected right now. And Buck is just…bisexual. It’s great that he’s figured it out, and it’s great that everyone has been so supportive, and Tommy is—Tommy is fine. The sex is good, at least. Consistent. When Buck gets a call from Eddie’s phone late on a Tuesday night in June, it’s cause for concern. * Buck unpacks his own feelings about his recently-discovered bisexuality. Eddie gets adopted by drag queens. They're both just trying their best to be happy.

[ice-man-goes-bwoah]

Little witch||lance stroll x fem!reader

Word count 895

A/n — this was one of my first requests on my old blog I doubt the OG requester is around anymore but it holds a special place in my heart.

If you were to ask Lance Stroll what he thought of his girlfriend, he’d say the usual things any man deeply in love would say. He’d describe how kind, funny, and beautiful you were. How you made every bad day better with just a smile or a hug. But if you pressed him, he might admit there was something different about you, something almost otherworldly.

Take, for instance, how you always seemed to know things before they happened. You’d casually predict the weather—right down to the minute the rain would start—or tell him, “Be careful today,” with that knowing look in your eyes, moments before he’d trip on a curb or bang his elbow in the garage. One time, you’d even warned him, “Watch out for your wrist, we wouldn’t want anything to happen to that, would we?” Two weeks later, during a bike ride, he’d broken it.

He didn’t think much of it at first. Maybe you were just really observant. But when he mentioned it to Mick Schumacher, Mick had raised an eyebrow and smirked. “Maybe she’s a witch, Lance. Who knows?”

Lance had laughed it off at the time, brushing aside the comment. There was no way you could be a witch… right?

Still, certain things kept nagging at the back of his mind. Like how your black cat, Midnight, never left your side, trailing you from room to room like a shadow. Or how, every full moon, you’d gather up your crystals, arrange them meticulously on the windowsill, and let them soak in the moonlight. Then there was the jar of water you’d set out alongside them.

“What’s all this for, again?” Lance had asked one night, leaning against the counter as he watched you work.

“It’s for cleansing and protection,” you’d explained, holding up a chunk of amethyst with a proud smile. “You charge the crystals under the moonlight, and the water absorbs the moon’s energy. It’s called moon water—it’s useful for rituals or just for good vibes.”

He’d nodded, pretending to understand, though half of it went over his head. You were so passionate about it, and he loved the way your face lit up when you talked about these things. At the time, he chalked it up to a quirky hobby. But there was always a voice in the back of his mind whispering that there was something more to it.

That voice got louder when he discovered you could read and speak archaic Latin.

“When did you even learn Latin?” he’d asked, staring at you in disbelief after you effortlessly translated an inscription on a random plaque during a museum visit.

You’d shrugged. “I learned it when I was younger. It’s fascinating, really.”

Things started clicking into place a few weeks later when you visited your parents’ house. Over tea, your mom mentioned your family’s Celtic roots—Scottish on her side, Irish on your dad’s—and casually brought up how the women in your family were known for their “gifts.”

“Special abilities,” your mom had said with a wink.

That night, while lying in bed, Lance couldn’t shake the feeling that Mick’s joke hadn’t been a joke after all. Could you actually be a witch?

A week later, the question finally burst out of him during a cozy night in. You were both snuggled up on the couch, a bowl of popcorn between you, half-watching a rom-com you’d seen a dozen times before.

“Are you a witch?” Lance asked suddenly, breaking the comfortable silence.

You sat up, startled, and turned to face him. “What?”

“I mean, I’ve been thinking about it for a while,” he admitted, looking at you intently. “You do things that… normal people can’t. You know things before they happen. Midnight follows you like he’s your furry little bodyguard. And you have all those crystals and jars of moon water. So… are you a witch? You can tell me, you know.”

For a moment, you stared at him, your lips twitching as if trying to hold back a smile. Then you laughed. “Wow. Took you long enough to figure it out.”

“What?” Lance sat up straighter, frowning. “Wait, you mean… you are a witch?”

“Yeah,” you said casually, leaning back against the cushions.

“Seriously?”

“Mm-hmm.”

“Hang on, how long have I been dating a witch and didn’t know?”

You glanced over your shoulder with a teasing smile. “Lance, I once dropped my spell book, and you picked it up. You even handed it back to me, saying, ‘Cool book,’ before walking off.”

He blinked. “Oh.” You burst out laughing at his stunned expression.

“Well, now I feel stupid,” he muttered, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Don’t worry about it,” you said, patting his leg reassuringly.

“Wait,” he said, narrowing his eyes. “Do you have a wand?”

“Yeah, I have a wand,” you replied offhandedly.

“Wait, really? Like, a real magic wand?”

“No, Lance,” you said, laughing again. “I was being sarcastic.”

“Oh. Right.” He paused, still processing everything. “So… are you going to hex me if I annoy you?”

You gave him a sly smile. “Guess you’ll have to behave and find out.” For the rest of the evening, Lance couldn’t stop staring at you, equal parts amazed and amused. Dating a witch wasn’t something he’d ever expected—but then again, you’d always been full of surprises. And, truthfully, he wouldn’t have it any other way.

[exiledandwanderingfox]

My claim: SJM is a leading cause of anti-intellectualism, lack of empathy, lack of media literacy, and pro-plagiarism (honestly, including pro-AI) in the Booktok community whether it was intentional or not.

Anti-intellectualism:

While this term most usually refers to the movement conservative lawmakers are doing when it comes to banning books and such, I am talking about this one specific kind on TikTok that is a push to read for “vibes” only. These readers will often say “it’s not that deep”, and condemn those who want to analyze what they read because they do not see value in it.

This is something I see the most in the SJM fandom. Often, a fan does not want to dig deeper than what’s written there for them, and what the MC believes. Quite literally “what you see is what you get”. They do not like making connections to the real world, valuing escapism to a degree that just isn’t functional. Escapism is absolutely a useful tool for readers, but it shouldn’t be all that you do to an extreme degree.

These fans will often take hypocritical stances because they refuse to understand a character past the beliefs of the MC, and often don’t like learning about new things.

If their favorite character is Feyre, it is especially difficult, because their favorite character does not value reading, as she practically kicked and screamed her way through learning. So why should readers who adore her put any value on reading more than surface level?

This type of closed mind reason often does not allow them to see past their own beliefs and understand other perspectives, which leads to my next point.

SJM also refuses to do her research (you can check my blog for a list of things she should be researching within her books). she disrespects different cultures, religions, etc, mostly which is frustrating.

Lack of empathy:

1) I’ve seen many SJM fans tell people of color and pagans that the problematic content they see in SJM’s books isn’t real because they personally aren’t affected by it. For example, I’m upset as a Norse Pagan that SJM plagiarizes and disrespects my faith. I’ve been told by multiple fans that my faith isn’t real so I’m getting upset over nothing. Another example, I’ve seen women of color screaming to be heard about Feyre’s cultural appropriation, and I’ve watched as they’ve been told that Feyre should be allowed to slip into a costume when she feels like it.

2) Every single SJM FMC has a problem with empathy. Feyre does not receive consequences for the harm she does to other people and “doesn’t let herself think about it”, so she clearly lacks the foundation of empathy. She thinks she is entitled to the help she receives from others and gets frustrated when they choose their own safety over helping her again. She clearly holds no sympathy for the women in 2/3 of her court. Aelin also seems to have a big empathy problem (I mean, she was literally going to use her cousin as a breeding stud???), and also never faces consequences for her actions until the last book. If these FMCs never have to care about others and never have to face consequences for hurting others, why should the readers ever have to as well?

3) we’ve all seen the SJM fans who have sent SA threats and death threats on tik tok, I’m sure. And it’s all over small opinions over characters too. This is just not normal behavior. But then again, Feyre openly allows her husband to tell people to off themselves, so how could we ever expect better behavior from her fans?

4) This is also especially interesting to me because SJM’s FMCs are all around 16-21, which I’d assume to be her target demographic. However, this is the most impressionable age because these are young adults going off into the real world right before their prefrontal cortex develops. This is a crucial time for us, and yet we are reading about FMCs our age who are doing terrible things to people with no empathy and are getting away with it. What is that teaching us.

5) also most people you meet in the fandom are younger (13 is the youngest I’ve seen) and older (I think the oldest I’ve seen was in 40-50s)than that target demographic which is also insane to me because why is my age group fighting with people much older and much younger?

6) For a while (and still in some stores) ACOTAR is branded as YA, meaning impressionable teenagers and children have better access to this material. This can shape their formative years too. Especially when this content is so pro-conservative and pro-traditionalist views.

Lack of Media Literacy:

This goes right back to my explanation about “it’s not that deep”. Fans don’t want to put in the effort because they want to “turn their brain off”. With the rise in lack of media literacy, this is especially dangerous. I’ve also noticed that people are saying ACOTAR is the gateway into fantasy. That tells me new readers are immediately jumping into this sort of story with no basic understanding at all.

Pro-Plagarism:

It’s no secret that SJM has plagiarized from many religions, cultures, movies, books- literally anything. Her fans view it as great story telling. I’ve had people tell me that she’s a genius for using Norse mythology and mashing it with other religions and that they’re excited to see her do more things like her Hades and Persephone retelling with Rhys and Feyre. SJM has not has an original thought in her life and it shows.

It also makes fans think they can steal too and get away with it because their favorite author does.

Pro-Capitalism:

We all know SJM wants money and will do anything for a quick cash grab. In the same way, I think this instant gratification for capitalism manifests itself in the use of AI- art through fans. SJM’s fandom has been almost the only fandom I’ve seen use so much AI art that I have to wonder why.

Conclusion:

I’m of a big belief that human beings are not stagnant. We are constantly changing based on our influences and environment. Reading is a big influence for many people, and what we read can shape our perception of things, regardless of age. When people tell me that these are just adults reading these books so whatever’s going on is their own problem from their upbringing and not SJM, I get frustrated, because it’s a problem for both.

The fact that SJM hasn’t recognized the harm that she’s doing to various communities and hasn’t spoken out about anything tells me everything I need to know about the type of person she is. We all know she’s eager for money and fame. I don’t like speculating about people’s political beliefs, but as much as SJM says she’s anti-Trump, I believe she’s still a conservative. Both things can still be true. Whether it’s old bias that she is trying to unlearn or she still believes those things, there are ideals within her books that are still so harmful.

I could go on and on about this, and I truly believe it. But please if you have anything to add I’d love to hear it.

[stealingyourbones]

I’m fine with posts about my Blorbo getting ignored. It happens. We all know that. It’s disappointing, but you get inspired, start plotting, maybe even start writing yourself, lose motivation, and stop. It’s normal. It happens to all of us. Not a big deal.

But. BUT. BUUUUT. What drives me fucking insane is when some beautiful creative once-in-a-lifetime hand crafted prompt gets derailed into the generic stereotypical tropes that this crossover fandom constantly falls back on. I know that happens to you a lot, how do you deal with it?

In truth, when you sign up for creating content that you allow anyone to interact with, it’s just a part of the gig. It happens a lot, I may not enjoy it but others do and a community of people writing and having fun is what I strive to create.

My main ways to divert posts are either:

1.) Leave it be and let folks do their thing. The point of prompts is to let anyone add their thoughts, it doesn’t matter your personal feelings on a trope or headcanon.

2.) Simply stop interacting with that reply chain. I used to reblog absolutely every reply I got but now I only reblog the ones I enjoy. It has helped my mental health greatly. Additionally, if you don’t reblog responses to your posts, go and do that. It makes people more likely to see the responses you like if they already follow your blog for your writing and you’ll have a higher likelihood of that prompt gaining more replies.

3.) Put in the tags (#not ____ AU/trope/headcanon). I’ve done it a few times before with Ghost King AU’s I believe, mainly because I think that avoiding that trope for that particular post would make people flex their creativity more and write something they wouldn’t even have thought of if not given that limitation. This will sometimes work. Some folks reblog the post without the tag and the trope is posted anyways. People also might see the tag and think you’re being picky and rude and avoid the post entirely.

4.) Complain. I don’t really recommend doing this because people will Not Be Pleased but I am 100% guilty of doing this more than once. I have been pretty vocal on making my opinions clear on: Danny and Bruce’s relationship could also be something other than paternal, the automatic adoptions tropes, Ghost King AU’s, OP Danny, and not consuming some form of DC media is nigh impossible and actively avoiding it prevents you from learning about new characters and giving you new interests and ideas to spread and influence the fandom. This is the second least effective action to do. The first being saying nothing. Venting might be a good way to express frustration but let’s be honest, no one wants to listen to or read someone complaining for a few hundred words when they could be consuming a positive take on something they enjoy. For example: this post might get like 50 notes maybe max. It’s not a topic people like to read of and it’s critical on the things they like so they probably won’t interact with it.

5.) Add back onto your own post or another persons post with the idea of how you thought the post should have gone! If you don’t like the angle other folks are going at it, write your own thoughts on the prompt. A few solid paragraphs of ~500 words are what I have seen work the best in influencing and changing the direction of replies to a post. This is the best course of action to have people write another direction in tropes you enjoy and ideas you view are fresh and new. It might not be people’s favorite response to hear, but if you want a story to go a particular way, you have to write it yourself and hope the audience receives it well and picks up what you’re putting down.

6.) Write something similar again and hope a different audience receives the post and interprets it differently. Add a different spin on the concept and maybe add the (no ____) tag if you really really want something different.

I hope these tips help! Main takeaways if you don’t want to read everything: Complaining solves nothing and action solves everything. If you don’t like the way a post is going, write it to the way you want it to be.

[crushedsweets]

siigh it feels kind of silly asking for life advice from a creepypasta blog (I MEAN THIS IN THE NICEST SILLIEST WAY EVER i love ur blog) but im just curious on how u go about like . college n having to pay for it and a job and such .. especially w the state of the economy 💔 im going into community college soon however im low key frightened bc 1 money and 2 i don't entirely know what i want my major to be (even though i want to go in for art/writing or something along those lines but again MONEY) .. and honestly you have a very nice way of going abt things from what i have seen so im just curious

HI OKAY for starters. I’ve been working and saving since I was 16 yrs old, california minimum wage is higher than average, i went to community college then transferred, I live with family, and I commute bc I’m only 30 minutes from my university. I’m in a very very privileged position that I’m very grateful for because of this, so even though I pay for all my schooling and personal expenses, money hasn’t been a massive concern for me. I wanna be very transparent about that! Regardless, I still have some input

I also have a TLDR at the end bc I wrote way too much

Going to community college is already the best route! I did that and it saved me THOUSANDS on tuition, commuting, and housing - i also usually maxed out my financial aid because my moms income was low enough. Even if you think you might not qualify for financial aid, go see your community college counselor or financial aid advisors the first month of school and ask for help!!! They will know so much more and it’ll guide you a ton. They can even show you how to do things on your own through their websites

Scholarships r another thing. Idk about your location but both of my schools websites have a scholarship page where you can just endlessly scroll through hundreds of scholarships and apply. I would go to cafes, listen to music, and just submit application after application. I’ve gotten thousands in scholarships cuz of it (but also please get involved in school activities!!! It helps with these applications. Tutor English, be a TA, join clubs!!! I HIGHLY recommend joining some sort of competitive team. I do competitive speech and it’s been amazing and looks beautiful on applications and resumes)

Finding a job on campus helps too. I used to intern as a speech coach at my CC, and it paid a little above minimum wage, was super easy, made me amazing connections with my faculty, and I’ve essentially secured a position as a professor at my community college once I graduate with my masters LOL . I was also working 2 jobs at this time(my normal job + the speech job) and in all honesty, it was a lot to balance - BUT ITS WORTH IT.

Make!! CONNECTIONS!! NETWORK!! Talk to professors!! Ask them about programs and student aid and things they think you’ll be suited for!! Ask them for different positions at school!!!

Make sure you’re focusing on your GEs for the first year… I understand wanting to take tons of art classes since that’s what you wanna major in and you’re passionate about it, but taking your GEs first helps you play around in different fields and ensure you know what you want. And again, opens opportunities because the more you do, the more you meet, the more doors open. It’s better if you realize you wanna change career paths in CC, since it’s so much cheaper ! And again, if you think you want to explore smth new, DO IT WHILE ITS CHEAPER!!!! It’s okay!!! I changed my major 1.5 semesters in!!! …AND TAKE THE HARD CLASSES FIRST HAHAH I took my math and science GEs early on, and now I’m free from that - but that’s also cuz my major doesn’t require math or science..

I don’t know where you live but the university system in California is CSUs (California state universities) and UCs (universities of California). I’m going to a CSU because they’re significantly cheaper . DONT LET PEOPLE MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE YOU NEED TO GO TO THE EXPENSIVE OPTION JUST CUZ ITS MORE PRESTIGIOUS OR WHATEVER. Life after university is also about the connections, internships, experience, and person you become rather than a nice school with nothing else to back up your growth and learning

I don’t know your living situation so I’m hesitant to give this advice, so please take it with a grain of salt. But once you transfer, if you could transfer to a commuter school(aka a school within 30 mins from you) and live with family for cheap/no rent, I highly recommend it. housing is easily the most expensive part of university. AGAIN, take this with a grain of salt because if living with family isn’t viable then that’s okay too, and all the previous advice is just as applicable

Soz I’m superrrr rambling im just really passionate about school and education and making things as easy as possible (with healthy challenges).

TLDR; use the hell out of all student resources. Student aid, financial aid, grants, scholarships. Get familiar with all school resources (some have free student pantries, free health care, free bus passes) Get acquainted with your counselors and professors. Find a job on campus. Make connections with faculty and peers. Focus on GEs. Don’t let people pressure you into doing more expensive programs just because they’re more prestigious—do what fits your goals. Maybe try a commuter school if possible.

Anyway. You’re gonna be okay. I was scared shitless before starting college and nearly passed out and threw up on the first day LOL but genuinely college is what you make of it. Please get involved, take care of yourself, ask for help, and be optimistic! You got this everything is gonna work out for you I promise

[jeonscatalyst]

Hey May do you think Jk acts different around Jimin when Tae is around? I've seen taekookers saying that you can always tell who the real couple is whenever Vminkook are together because Jk is always glued to Tae instead of Jimin and I also saw them talk about the fact that taekook mostly sat side by side on AYS.

Hey anon,

Yes I think Jk is different around Jimin when Tae is around. Jk and Jimin would obviously be different around each other when there is another person around. It could be Jin or Yoongi around them and they would still be different, them being different around each other has nothing to do with tae being there or not but just the fact that a third person will always change the dynamic of two. If we ever got a show with just tae and Jk their dynamic would be very different compared to when Jimin is around, that is completely normal.

The thing with taekookers is that they seem to have this belief that someone automatically becomes a jerk to their friends or is less nice to their friends when their lover is around and that is the narrative they have been trying to push. I saw this ridiculous thread on twitter a few days ago from a taekooker trying to show the difference in dynamics between taekook and Jikook when they are together and that post had over 4k likes even though it was filled with the most ridiculous things ever. Taekookers in my opinion are some of the most shallow, childish and inexperienced people ever because they lack the ability to look beyond the surface. As long as Jk or tae stare at each other, they see romance even if the next second they see Tae going away on his honeymoon, that wouldn’t matter because the honeymoon was set up by the company to cover up taekook’s real relationship. As long as Jk and Tae hold unto each other singing and dancing to a song at a concert they see romance even if moments later Jk is seen tongue kissing someone else, that person is a beard to cover taekook’s real and forbidden love. Taekookers would rather accuse every living thing on earth of trying to hide taekook than stopping to think that maybe they read things wrong.

I’ve seen them talk about seeing a difference between taekook and Jikook when vminkook are together, as a matter of fact that is something almost all the taekook blogs on tumblr believe in and talk about. They give examples like the HS concert in 2021, they talk about the Vminkook Vlive from 2021 and they have added AYS to the mix. Everytime I read the things they say and how they justify these points I am shocked at how shortsighted some people can be. I honestly don’t know if they really cannot see beyond the surface or if they just don’t want to look because they are afraid of what they might find or if they see but don’t want to accept it.

Let’s start with the HS concert. To them that was proof that taekook is real and Jikook isn’t because of the moment we saw of tae and Jk singing, holding hands and dancing to “falling”. There was that moment and another moment of taekook sharing drink or something and according to taekookers that was Jk and tae being glued the entire night nevermind the fact that we have footage of Jimin and Jungkook whispering to each other, sharing drinks, dancing together with Jimin’s hand over Jungkook, plus the fact that those two actually disappeared together for a while at the concert. Now, these examples of Jikook aren’t meant to prove that jikook is real either but just to show that Taekook weren’t glued all night as taekookers would like to believe but just because of those few moments they had of taekook’s interactions, they swore that the two were glued together all night and Jk didn’t even spare Jimin a glance. Now why do I say they are shortsighted? The Harry Styles concert happened on the 19th of November 2021 and then a little over a week later, we got the Vminkook Vlive (march 28th) and from this Vlive, we found out from Jimin that since they got to LA, he had been working out with Jungkook every single day, we also found out from Jimin that Jungkook was basically in his room almost all the time. Jimin said Jk visited his room about 3 times a day and that he saw Jungkook in his room way more than he saw the managers. Tae confirmed this story by telling us that he went to Jimin’s room one day and thought it was Jungkook’s because Jk was the one who answered Jimin’s door and greeted him. Mind you Jimin said Jungkook was in his room everyday and even came at night too when he was about to go to sleep, stayed there for 2-4 hours at a time and left. We also know that Jungkook was probably there every night because on the one night he didn’t go, Jimin asked why he didn’t come and he wouldn’t be asking this if Jk wasn’t a regular visitor to his room. Also, Tae thinking that Jimin’s room was Jk’s means that he didn’t even know Jk’s room. So which normal person thinks that taekook dancing together at a concert and you know, being friends proves they are dating when we know for a fact that at the same period, Tae didn’t know Jungkook’s hotel room, Jungkook was spending almost all his time in Jimin’s room and choosing to go to him repeatedly when he was lonely or bored? You see why I say taekookers are incredibly shortsighted? You don’t even have to think Jikooo are a couple but Jk clearly liked spending more private time with him that he did with Tae judging from the things they said. So how exactly could taekook be dating yet Jungkook prioritized being with Jimin over Tae? They focus on physical affection which in this case isn’t a sign of romance but of friendship, love and care and the they ignore facts because they facts shatter their fantasies. They watched the Vminkook Live and focused on 5 seconds of awkward eye contact and that to them was proof of the greatest romance but ignored everything that was said in that Live that completely debunked Taekook. Nevermind the fact that a few days after that Live, Tae attended Hobi’s live and mentioned that he had a meal with Jungkook and they had an adult conversation and Jk said he was happy. Anybody with a brain would understand that this is two people clearly catching up because it doesn’t seem like that is something they did often so after the concert Jk and Tae ate together, did some catching up and we saw Jk after he left Tae’s room still fully dressed with his combat boots on which means that he was just in tae’s room temporarily but when we saw tae a few moments later, he was already out of his concert clothes and had on more comfortable clothes you know, like he had already changed and settled in his bedroom unlike Jk who was clearly just passing by.

So let’s be serious anon, how exactly did the HS concert or the Vminkook Live show that taekook are the real couple when we know for a fact that Jk and Jimin were basically spending almost all of their time together while Tae didn’t know Jk’s hotel room? Before Tae started his Live wasn’t Jk busy eating chicken with Jimin while tae was eating alone? Tae had already showered by himself too while Jk and Jimin were talking about “we haven’t showered yet” lol. Taekookers never look beyond the surface and they don’t even realize that what they think is romance is just two people being friends and basically just dynamic.

They also think that AYS showed how real taekook is and when you ask them why, they tell you how Jk and Tae sat side by side or how Jk wanted Tae to get into the pool too or some other rubbish which proves that these people don’t have friends in real life. After watching Vminkook in AYS, I felt so validated about a post I made months ago describing Vminkook’s dynamic. Typical of taekookers to fail to look beyond the surface. Jk was seated next to Tae most of the time yet he spent the entire time interacting and talking with Jimin. How many times did taekook actually really talk to each other while seated side by side? Didn’t we all watch Jk and Jimin constantly interacting and talking while Tae’s head was buried in his phone the entire time? Let’s also talk about how taekookers claimed that “when Tae leaves the pool Jk leaves” forgetting that Jk chose to stay back with Jimin after they left the pool while Tae showered and went to bed. Jk did this on BOTH nights they were in Jeju btw. If he wanted to be stuck to Tae’s side like tkkrs claim, he would have gotten out of the pool, showered when tae was showering and gone to bed or atleast gone upstairs to be next to him while he was sleeping but that isn’t what he did. He got out of the pool, teased Jimin by locking the doors, knowing that he would have to stay back to open it for him while Tae went ahead to shower and go bed, he stayed back, played a little with Jimin, showered and they went to bed together on both nights so what exactly are taekookers talking about?

Anon, most taekookers, especially the ones here on tumblr swear they are body language experts and they can tell taekook is real because of how taekook’s bodies react to each other (lol) but ask them why Jk doesn’t seek tae out in moments of high emotions or why Jk didn’t immediately go to Tae’s room instead of Jimin’s and they pull out all the conspiracy theories under the sun. They say Jk always wanted to be by Tae’s side in AYS but ask them why Jk wasn’t rushing to his side at nights but choose to stay up playing with Jimin, showering at the same time as him and only going to bed together with him and see how fast they start contradicting themselves.

Anon, any unbiased person who watches AYS with Vminkook can very easily tell the difference between those three and no one would ever think there is anything going on between taekook. Taekookers harrassed and bullied so many unbiased reactors on youtube for seeing and mentioning how close they think Jikook are. You don’t need to be a shipper to see how clearly Jikook are different and how deeply they connect but I guess if you are someone who believes in how close people walk, or people’s sitting positions or people dancing together at concerts, then you might probably see what taekookers see. And this isn’t me saying that these things aren’t important, they are but the issue is you cannot depend only on your reading of people’s body language to prove a ship because first, body language cues could be subjective and could depend on so many things plus you cannot focus on your perception of things while ignoring all the hard facts. Jk and Tae stared at each other for 5 seconds, they are a couple/ there is attraction =Perception. Jk spends alot of time in Jimin’s room, so much that Tae once thought Jimin’s room was Jk’s, according to Jimin, Tae and Jungkook = Fact. While your perception could be wrong, facts can’t and if the fact isn’t wrong then your perception is wrong so that 5 second eye contact which you read as romance/ attraction, isn’t. If you thought taekook were a thing because you noticed that they look at each other in a certain way or they sit in a certain way, then you get to find out that in Jungkook’s free time, he mostly goes to spend time in another person’s room and also likes spending nights with this other person and basically spends almost all day with this person while Tae doesn’t even know his hotel room then doesn’t it make sense to just conclude that you must have read things wrong? But our neighbours would rather call Jimin and Tae liars before they sit to think that maybe, just maybe they read the cues all wrongs.

So anon, I do agree that when we see Vminkook together it is easy to see the difference between them and you can see it by watching them aswell as listening to the things they say. No reasonable person watches them, listens to the thing they say and comes out thinking “yea, taekook is the one” lol. That’s just ridiculous. When you actually watch them and listen to them, you actually get to understand just how complex human feelings and relationships are because so many people spend time arguing about who Jk is closer to when the truth is, he is close to Tae and Jimin in very different ways so you cannot even really compare but one thing that is clear and has always been clear is that of the two, his emotional bond with Jimin is deeper…unless someone wants to explain to me why in his moments of loneliness the one he thought of going to was Jimin even though he didnt do anything particularly interesting while he was in there with him… i’ll wait.

[maximumkillshot]

I Can't Lose You-Part 10

Warnings: Bin losing it (yes this is a warning), A person is grabbed, cursing, boundaries, Anger in Bin's mind (You will see why this is a warning), Mentions of miscarriage, Things come to light, health scares, yeah this one is rough, anxiety, regression

Pairing: BangChan X Reader

Characters: everyone except Bangchan is in this, Soo, Reader,

A/N: PART 10?!!! Double Digits already!! Well people here we are at part 10. We are going to

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ANY WORK THAT YOU SEE ON OTHER SITES THAT ARE MY WORKS PLEASE NOTIFY ME IMMEDIATELY.

I Can't Lose You Masterlist-CLICK HERE

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Previously:

There was comfortable silence in the car, most silence with Minnie was always comfortable. Then Changbin’s phone rang, Seungmin said “It’s Felix.”

Pick it up.” Changbin said Seungmin hit the green phone icon on his phone and put it on speaker, "Hey Lix we o-"

Felix sounded out of breath, “It’s Soo… she’s here.”

Bin’s POV:

My blood ran cold. We are still so far out. '`Where's Y/N?” was all I could get out. This is why I didn’t want to leave in the first place. This is torture. I know Minho is going to do his best to keep her out, if Soo is anything like Chris, it won’t be easy. I heard, “Where’s Binnie?” at almost the exact same time I asked for her. My foot pressed down on the accelerator as I waited for Felix to answer. I heard bickering in the back, one voice very condescending, “I am just trying to--” 

Then I heard Hyunjin snap, “What? What could you possibly want here? To apologize? To see if she’s okay? Well she isn’t thanks to you. Get out of the room now before I have to put my hands on you and drag you out.” That made me feel slightly better. Knowing that the boys are willing to do anything to ensure her safety. 

Felix responded, “She’s in bed with Hannie but she’s slipping, she’s already stopped answering everyone except for Hannie. She keeps on asking for you and I don’t know what to do.” The worry in Felix’s voice seemed more out of anxiety than danger.

“What about Soo, where is she?” I asked. 

“She keeps trying to get into the room, she walks in and tries to say things to Y/N but we form a wall, her voice is still triggering her. Hannie is trying to calm her but it isn’t working.” I heard more shuffling and more of that woman’s voice, “Y/N just let me talk.” I looked at Seungmin quickly and his face was completely different. He looked like he was going into war, just like mine, I’m sure. More than anything… I’m scared. She needs rest. The doctors said so after the last attack, only Hannie and I know. 

The doctors specifically took a read of her heart during the attack, they’re finding that there may be some changes in it. Something that right now may be harmless, or not, it all depends on how her heart responds to stress. Some people die from stress alone. 

They took Hannie out to explain the last bit and he messaged me later. Y/N is looking like the latter situation, the stress so high that the heart pumps too fast for too long and it just… I can’t finish that sentence. Judging by how Felix is reacting, he just seems normally worried. Fuck, I want her in my hands right now. I need her right now. That’s the only way I can make sure she’s okay. Without that I just feel like I’m living on borrowed time. 

I had to make my voice as even as possible as I made the call, to let the boys know, “Hand the phone to Hannie. After that, tell Hyunjinnah if he has to put hands on her, do it. Y/N is still unstable, the stress will make her heart stop, we don’t have a choice Lixie, she could die. I’ve seen it almost happen. I'll be damned if either of them take her from us. They already took her child, they aren’t getting her. Go and do that now, do it quietly, Lix.”

Felix said, “What?” I can tell he is worried. His face always shows any emotion he has, as well as his voice.

He can’t show worry in front of her, “Felix listen to me, if she can see your face look away from her. You cannot show how serious this is in front of her… Do you hear me?” I have never heard my voice come out this stern, I know he’s scared, I can hear it. I’m so scared if I wasn’t driving I’d be crying right now. 

“Yeah I hear you. It’s okay.” I could hear the uncertainty. Like he is asking for reassurance. I don’t blame him. When I read that text, it felt like my heart dropped into my stomach. She is so important in all of our lives. She may not believe it, but us being where we are now, with her; That is proof in and of itself how loved she is and the lengths that we’ll go through to make sure our family is protected.

“I promise you, if you do as I say it will be okay. I’m not letting her go, none of us are, she needs us to protect her right now. I know you can do that for me. You’re so strong Lix, repeat it to me, what do I need you to do?” I tried to make it as honest as possible. A lot of people see Felix as emotional. He is, but he is the strongest out of all of us, it’s his empathy that makes him so strong in situations like this. After all, I was a crying mess a few hours ago and no one tried to console me except for Lix. It’s because, just from looking at the situation, he can feel what you do. Your pain is his pain. That in and of itself proves invaluable for someone like me, who has problems explaining feelings.

“Hand the phone to Hannie, let Hyunjin know that if we need to use force we will.” Felix repeated it back to me calmly. 

“Good job Lix, hand the phone over.” I was trying to sound as strong as I possibly could. In reality, I feel like I am going into this blind. I know that I’ve seen it before. That doesn’t change the fear that is plaguing me right now. “Hannie, can you hear me?”

“Yeah Hyung.” I heard Han on the other end. He didn’t sound scared, just calm. Someone on the outside would think that’s great news. In reality, it’s terrifying, Han is only calm when he has to be. So to hear him nearly void of any and all inflection tells me that things are serious. “Talk to me, how is she looking?” I want a full picture of how she is doing> Without that I know I will go into a full panic.

“Heart rate’s 110, slowly climbing. Her skin’s clammy, can’t keep her eyes still, she’d starting to slip, Bin. She won’t stop asking for you. She keeps on looking for you. " He then addressed Y/N, “Anya, look at me please, can you do that for me?” Shit… It has to be bad. Hannie almost never uses that nickname. 

He calls her Anya because it’s his favorite character in an anime that both of them love, they rewatch it together all the time. The minute he met her he couldn’t stop calling her Anya. She loved it, of course, since that's her favorite character too. Her hair had pink highlights in it only to add to the nickname. She’s so strong and independent. It fit her perfectly, in Han’s eyes. 

He’s using that to try to get her to go back to a happy time, not the last time she saw Soo, “Remember that day, Anya? The day I gave you that nickname? In New York?” 

I just heard the smallest, most broken voice, “Binnie, I want Binnie to make her go away. Hannie, can you help me find my Binnie please?” I could hear the thickness of unshed tears trying to fight their way out. Hearing her made my eyes wince reflexively. She’s regressing, sounding more like a child by the minute. The pain is literally shocking her back to a time where she had no idea how to handle the pain, but people could help, when she was a child. It was the same thing that happened in the last attack. It’s her brain trying to protect her. 

“Put me on speaker, Hannie.” After I heard some shuffling and what sounded like someone tapping on the phone I said, “Angel?”

“Binnie, where are you?” Just hearing her say that name with that tone, it ripped my heart out. She sounded like she was shrinking, I could sense it in her tone, the way she was holding on to the present.

“I was getting your brownies for you.” I used a lighter tone. I always did with her, I couldn’t help it. The fondness I hold for her constricts my vocal cords, sometimes I feel like I can’t breathe around her, not from being suffocated but from being struck by how gorgeous she is. No matter what, even after Chris married her, she always came to me for comfort. Even when we're watching horror movies, she would hold on to me and hide behind my upper arm, gripping my biceps like they had the antidote, the solution. She would hold me like I was going to chase away the monsters on the screen. That reminded me that this time I wasn’t there to chase away the monster, and I felt rage at that, rage and fear.

“Oh yeah… you’re coming back? M’scared.” That tone. She was slipping again, just my luck that right when she said that is when we hit a red light. I looked at Seungmin and he nodded, I blew right through the light. “Make her go away, Binnie, she’s saying mean things,” I started to hear her voice crack, I could see her shrinking in my mind. Trying to make herself as small as possible, trying not to get hurt. Tears started forming in my eyes as I heard her.

“I am almost there, okay Angel? I’m going to make sure she doesn’t come near you ... Can you tell me where MinMin is, Angel?” This question served two purposes. It both keeps her grounded and it gives me a gauge of where I am needed more. Right now I need to know if I need to blow by Soo to protect Y/N, talk her out of a flashback, or if I can deal with Soo personally. All of it hinges on Minho.

“He… He… MinMin?” I heard her ask. I could hear the fear laced in her tone. That tone makes me want to hide her from everyone and everything. 

 Then I heard a soothing tone of voice, “I’m here Beautiful, don’t worry.” It was Minho. That allowed me to breathe for a second. I know Soo won’t touch her.

She answered me,“He’s at the door… Keeping…” I could hear more of a little scuffle, shifting around, sneakers on a concrete floor, talking… But nothing from her.  The closer I listened the more I heard.

“I just want to make sure she’s okay, I’m still her best friend.” I heard Soo say.

Hyunjin fired back with, “No you’re not her best friend. We are her best friends and unlike you, we won’t stab her in the back. Funny how best friends aren’t supposed to do that.”

“Hannie what’s happening?” I couldn’t help the uptick in my anxiety. If I could just look at her, if she could see me and I could see her maybe it’d give me more time. But I can’t, it’s too dark. No matter what I did, whatever solutions I was coming up with it all came down to time I didn’t have to get to her. The threat is there now. Here I am so far away. 

“She’s staring off.” I heard Han and my stomach dropped. 

“Angel? Are you there? Keep talking to me…” I am trying so hard not to add to the chaos. I am doing everything to breathe normally, stay calm. I am struggling, I want her to be safe, that's all I ever wanted, I just wanted her happy and safe. 

“Binnie… why did this happen?” She said, in a very calm tone. That scared me as I am sure Han is watching the heart monitor. I had to snap her out of it. I’m 10 minutes away. I’ll make it in 5. “Hey Angel, let me ask you a question.” I said as I cut through a deserted parking lot, avoiding another light. 

“Yes?” She was close to the phone but so far away in her mind. I was semi- ecstatic that she answered me, usually that isn’t the case. I could hear the disorientation. I had to get her back to the here and now.

“You always wanted to go to Nami Island to take pictures, right?” I asked.

“Yeah! The trees are amazing in spring! And they have snowmen cakes around this time! Every season is so gorgeous.” I could hear some excitement, but overall monotone. It was similar to the voice she’d use when Chris made a promise that she knew he wouldn’t keep. Like she’s already over the thought of what was said was actually going to happen. 

I giggled, “Ok how about when things calm down we go to Nami Island, then? And as soon as the seasons change and Nami Island is at its peak I’ll take you again.” 

“Really?! You’d take me?” It was almost like her mind had to take the time out to realize that I am not Chris and that when I tell her something, that I will do it. That made me feel so sad for her. No one should go through what she went through. 

“Sweetheart, I will take you anywhere all you have to do is say the word.” I said honestly. That’s how it’s always been. Whenever she wanted to go out she wouldn’t go to Chris, he’d get mad for being disturbed, she told me. She hated going out alone though. One day I walked by their room to hear her ask meekly and he told her that his answer won’t change, he had no time for her. I continued to the kitchen and instead of reaching for the preworkout, I looked for any reason to call her over. When I did, I called her over. I could tell she was crying so I just opened my arms, asking what’s wrong. 

“You have been through so much, I just want to see you do what you love, without worry. We can be there as long as you want, okay?” I told her. I already know that I am not going anywhere without her for a long time. Fuck going to the studio. Fuck the 3 hour long dance practices, that is not a things at this point. I know that Chris is going to do anything he can to get to her alone. He is smart, that much is apparent. He’s definitely not going to let her go easily. I can feel my hands subconsciously tightening on the wheel. Just by what I heard from the kitchen minutes ago, he thinks that she belongs to him, that is some fucked up archaic shit. She is her own person. Her own beautiful, loving, caring person. She deserves to be treated as such.

“Thank you, Binnie,” I could hear her tone still small, but excited slightly. 

“Anything for you, Angel.” I don’t think she realizes that I will literally do anything for her. I’d give all of this up. Hell I am still trying to convince myself to stay on this team, I can’t see myself being in a room with Chris again, yet I am expected to somehow cohabitate with him. I can feel the saliva build in my mouth as my intestines twist. I’d do anything to keep her safe, happy. To let her know that she’s loved. 

“She wasn’t taking care of him…. Not the way I could, look at her! She can’t even handle her best friend talking to her!” I heard the sarcasm spew from Soo’s mouth. It made rage build in my stomach. Then I heard Hyunjin again, “You are fucking delusional to think that you are in any league near Y/N. You are a spineless cretin, she’s a caring person. A person who loved you like a sister. The only person who could look at a piece of shit like you and find something good in them.” I couldn’t help the smirk on my face from hearing Hyunjin reading her for filth. “The only reason why she can’t ‘handle’ a waste of space like you is because you did this to her. You broke her along with Chris!”

“Are you coming here soon?” I heard her whimpering as I continued to break every speed limit known to man, “she won’t leave me alone. Make her go away. She’s saying things,” I could hear the shake in her voice. She is trying so hard to stay here in the present.

“Angel, I am one minute away as soon as I get there, I’m going to make her go away. Minnie’s going to come in and take care of you while I make sure she’s gone, okay?” I tried to fight the shaking in my voice, but I can't help it. 

“You’re coming back to me after?” She asked.

“Absolutely, I will be right next to you, sounds good, Angel?” I asked. Being next to her always made me feel like I was home. It was the weirdest sensation whenever we were on tour or anything like that. I never got to see here daily, which was also torturous. I hated it. It wasn’t like I could call her daily either, it was more of a reminder than anything that I am just a friend, not her husband. Being next to her is where I belong. I feel it in my bones. Just thinking about being next to her is soothing to me. 

“Yeah…”

The next minute we were in front of the hospital I looked to Seungmin and he said, “Go, I’ll park the car. I’ll stay on with Birdie in the meantime.” Thank God for Kim Seungmin. I don’t know how he knows what I need to do. Especially when I can’t even keep my head on straight right now. My guess is that he could see the distress in my face. I immediately got out of the car and bolted into the hospital. I was trying to find the quickest way to her, and to get Soo away. I decided on the stairs since she was only on the third floor. I was taking two or three steps at a time. 

The utter desperation I am feeling is something that I have never felt before. I’ve never cared about or for anyone like this before. It’s like the fear and the desperation come with a feeling like my very being is being threatened. I can’t do any of it without her. I’m not just talking about performing and singing, no, I can’t breathe without her. I don’t want to eat, workout, I can’t function, period. That’s why I have to keep her safe. I’m not just protecting her because she is loving and kind, I am protecting her because I love her. She has my heart and she always did, from the second I looked at her she had it. The minute she laughed she had my soul, she may not know it or care in the same way but I don’t care. I love her. 

By the time I made it to the third floor, my lungs were burning, only adding to the rage that I was feeling. I heard Hyunjin speaking slightly louder than anyone should in a hospital hallway as I speed walked down the hallway. I ran into one of the nurses and told them to call security that the other person that caused it is here. I told them I’m taking her to the waiting room to separate her from Y/N. They nodded. The closer I got the more my veins popped. 

One second she was arguing with Hyunjin just inside the doorway and the next I wrapped my arm around her midsection and picked her up, dragging her out of the room as I said, “Hannie, Minho with me. Lix, check on Angel make sure she’s okay, Seungmin-ah is coming up soon.” Then I directed my voice to Y/N, “I’m here Angel I’ll be back in a few minutes.” 

Soo was struggling in my grasp but I didn’t care. I lift almost 300 pounds for fun, and she thinks that she can get out of my grasp? “Get off of me!” She squawked. All I did was glare at her and say, “You and I are going to have a little conversation about boundaries.” 

The nurses that knew who I was at this point, since I had been there the whole time. They also knew that I’m a sweetheart, but they also knew that I love Y/N so their faces also turned with smiles as they saw me dragging Soo. They probably knew from my face alone that I’m currently holding the last of the trash to be thrown out of Y/N’s life. 

I heard Han and Minho’s footsteps behind me as I walked into the waiting room. As soon as the door was closed and locked I grabbed one of the chairs and plopped her in it. “If you move from there. I will pick you back up and put you back. You understand?” I caged her into the chair. She nodded her head, not good enough. “Oh you had no problem talking shit when I wasn’t here, now you’re all of a sudden unable to speak?” She shook her head, “Then fucking use your voice. You’re so brave saying that she can’t handle talking to you yet you forget that you literally KILLED her CHILD.” I screamed in her face, and she shrunk away. 

I felt Han’s hand on my shoulder, silently begging me to back off I’m sure. I have never been this bad  as I backed off and dragged a chair and sat right in front of her, “You are such a piece of garbage. What were you trying to do by coming here?” I leaned back in the chair, not letting my eyes leave hers. Just trying to remind her that right now, if I let myself, I’d crush her in a heartbeat. 

I heard two more chairs dragged next to me. 

She looked at all three of us as she said, “I wanted to see if it’s true, if she really is as broken as I was told.” I could see the corners of her lips fighting a smile. 

“If you don’t wipe that smile off your face, I’ll wipe it off for you.”  Minho glared at her as I stared at her. I knew that Minho is very attached to Y/N. The fact that he is reacting like this, is a little new. He has always had respect for everyone, I can also understand where he’s coming from. She means so much to us. We wouldn’t hesitate. “You wouldn’t dare, Minho,” She laughed.

“He won’t… too much respect… I however,” I stated very matter-of-factly, “Have a very hard line, Soo. I don’t touch women in any violent way ever… But if anyone messes with my family and with whe people I love? All of a sudden gender is irrelevant… So the next time you speak, I recommend you speak with that in mind.” I saw the blood drain from her face, I felt a new level of base in my voice. The anger is starting to reach a level I can’t control.  

Minho added on with “Usually I’d have too much respect. That was before what you said about Y/N.  About her losing the baby being a good thing. That it’d make the divorce less messy…”

My eyes went wide as my heart dropped on the floor, shattered. When did this happen? How did this happen? I looked away from Soo for the first time, “I don’t think I heard you correctly… She said WHAT?”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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@Fuckthinking, @feybin , @1-800-shedevil , @channiesbakery, @channieswhore , @hwangswhore , @seungminhour , @skzms, @angstraykids, @roseykat , @seventeenytiny , @dreaming-medium , @thunderous-wolf , @hanjsquokka , @moonjxsung , @diddybok , @fics-lovebot, @seungminssangel, @straykeedz, @tasteracha, @ven-fic-recs , @euphoric-univers, @camilagonzalex, @juskz, @antoniorhinothethird, @mariteez, @armystay89, @i-like-nougat, @yeonjunsfox, @laylasbunbunny ,@uwuitsjungwoo , @3racha-soup , @bandolls , @bomi-ja , @skzfairyyyf8te , @3rachababygirl , @symptoms-of-moonlight , @hiddlestandom , @stay-fr0sty-r0yal-milk-tea , @8rach4, @bear8585 , @tenshimara , @galamxy, @fairlylilo , @skzms, @lolareadsimagines , @lillithathecat , @manuosorioh , @jazziwritesthings , @soulsbbg , @tuskaruska , @emmxxsworld , @maaatyroshka , @orchid-mantis-petals , @thisrandomgoofy15 , @lolareadsimagines , @notastraykid , @ououahahgoogoogahgah , @teenagemoonharmony , @shuuporangporanglinoss , @mrskill2 , @juskz , @felixoasis  , @btskzfav , @notsosmellyellie , @secretlyamagicalprincess , @oddinary-nightmare , @jiimout , @stellasays45 ,

[rafeysvenicebitch]

I might actually be leaving this fandom omds. Something is happening every other day and it’s driving me insane 😭😭 I will most likely end up on my other blog @ultravio-bunny by the end of this month (might turn it into a COD and RDR2 blog) this stuff is stressing me out bro. It’s lowk really sad to even have to come to this conclusion lol, seeing has I’ve only had this blog less than a year. Fortunately, I haven’t been included is much drama, thank God, but I’ve seen my moots and people I look up to get hate(a lot more than hate) for things they like or agree with, which is insane. From what I’ve seen, the fandoms I’d like to join seem less…turbulent. OBX is a Netflix show mainly targeted at teens , fan fiction is a hobby that can be for yourself or shared, these things combined should not lead to death threats, doxxing, or any sort of things a long those two things. People should be free to express themselves and what they like. Yes. Even if you don’t like it. Occasionally it’s ok to put people in check, we all need that, but it should be done in a cordial, constructive, professional, and in a mature manner. We are all(mostly) 18+ is this fandom, ADULTS. Yet some of you refuse to act that way. I’ve seen middle school girls more mature than some of you on here. The OBX fandom makes me feel like I’m back in my small charter high school: drama literally every day, people who lack normal human decency(except my moots ofc), and people who can’t stand to keep things to themselves or handle that others have opinions. We are all human beings with different ethnicities, skin colors, names, and a bunch of other things. Respecting people is simple and is a normal thing. If someone respects you or handles conflict respectfully, you have no right to not to reciprocate this (unless certain things might have happened before). I definitely enjoyed the time I had here, for now I’m not sure if I’ll be switching, I’ll probs lurk for a while , but yeah, hope y’all liked my rant :))

Tagging some of my moots: @harkovsangel @cameronsbabydoll @strawberries-and-lots-of-kisses @rafesbabygirlx @marriedtotheblunt @drtyelvisfantasy @rafesbimbo @memoirofasparklemuff1n @ilovefiction4lmen-deactivated20

[intrepidacious]

four: groundhog day [1/2]

» time after time series: chapter four

this is a repost of my time loop fic in shorter parts for greater reading convenience. please refer to the series masterlist for more context.

series summary: After what starts out as a fairly normal mission, you find yourself stuck in a time loop. Which would already be bad enough in itself if it didn’t also mean having to watch Bucky die over and over again.

pairing: bucky barnes x f!reader

word count: 4.0k

chapter warnings: description of a panic attack; this writer is still grappling with the events of endgame and the nature of time travel; underneath the banter, tensions are rising. please note that my blog is rated 18+. minors dni. ageless/empty blogs will be blocked without warning.

series masterlist | main masterlist | read on ao3

“She needs a thing.”

It was one of the rare evenings when Natasha and you weren’t the only ones at the Compound, so you’d ordered take-out and given yourselves the evening off. It felt nice, normal even, a dinner between friends that hadn’t seen each other in a while but comfortably fell back into their old rhythm. You weren’t the new girl anymore, but still new enough to this kind of life, and so it felt like a big deal when they included you like this. For better or worse.

“I don’t need a thing,” you said with a roll of your eyes.

Steve was getting better with his chopsticks, but he was still the last one eating. Rhodey, apparently, was bored out of his mind and tried taking it out on you.

“Of course you do,” he said, “we all have a thing!”

“Rhodey,” you replied sternly. “I don’t want a thing.”

“I don’t have a thing,” Natasha said.

“Oh, please,” you both said in unison.

“Do I have a thing?” Steve asked, grin still easy on his face.

“You have a vibranium shield,” Rhodey said, “that you throw like a boomerang.”

“What’s my thing?” Natasha demanded.

“Do you not notice yourself posing?” you asked, sliding your leg to the side. “It’s such a thing.”

“Had a shield,” Steve said. “And it was magnetic.”

“You’ve also grown like ten inches since the forties, man, is that not enough of a thing for you?”

“Fine, alright,” Steve conceded. “You good, Nat?”

“Of course.” The absent-minded smile vanished from her face, replaced by a wicked grin as she contemplated you. “How about a cape?”

You groaned. “I’m not going to wear a cape.”

“Why not? It’s classic!” Rhodey snorted.

“It’s showy. None of you have a cape!”

“Thor has a cape,” Steve said.

“Thor is literally a god, that’s different.”

“Doctor Strange had a cloak. That’s kind of like a cape. Time power people wear capes,” Rhodey added.

“I don’t want to be associated with Strange!”

It came out sharper than you intended. You all sat in silence for half a minute, busying yourselves with your drinks. You buried your head in your hands. Natasha blew on the rim of her bottle.

You wondered if you should just try and rewind the moment, but you weren’t sure if you had the energy for it. And you didn’t want this awkwardness to last any longer than it already did.

“You know,” Steve said after a while, “Vision wore a cape, too.”

“Oh my god,” you sighed. This was just happening, apparently.

“So did Loki, though,” Natasha pointed out.

“Have none of you seen The Incredibles?” you asked. “Capes are terrible!”

“That’s a cartoon movie, Y/N,” Rhodey said. “That’s nothing like real life.”

“Is that one for the list?” Steve asked.

“You can shoot lasers out of your hands, you’re telling me the danger of getting sucked into a void is more unrealistic than that?” You stole one of the spring rolls off Steve’s plate. “It’s definitely one for the list.”

“If you’re getting sucked into a void, I doubt whether or not you were wearing a cape at the time would make much of a difference,” Rhodey snorted, taking another sip of his drink.

“And you could use it as a weapon,” Natasha added. “If it’s the right material.”

“Like an armor made of fabric,” Steve nodded, pocketing his notebook again. “I’ve heard of that.”

“I was thinking she could strangle someone with it, but sure, armor works, too,” Natasha shrugged. You laughed at Steve’s confoundedly impressed face. “Anyway,” she continued, still contemplating you, “I’ve got an idea you might like.”

“I’m not going to wear a cape,” you said again, but Natasha wasn’t listening to you anymore, turning her attention towards Rhodey again instead.

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay for the night?”

“Nah,” he said with a fond smile. “I gotta be in D.C. early tomorrow. In fact, I should probably head out.”

“Already?” Steve said, one of his arms draped comfortably around the back of Natasha’s chair.

“I thought we were doing poker night,” you agreed. Despite his ribbing, you didn’t want Rhodey to leave yet. You still craved this sense of normalcy that came when people hung out with each other, just because they could.

Just because they wanted to.

“Again,” Rhodey said, stretching his legs before getting up, “I’m not playing cards against you lousy cheats anymore.” He pointed at you and Natasha.

“We would never cheat,” you protested in fake outrage.

“We’re far too talented for that,” Natasha agreed, winking at you.

“Lousy. Cheats.” You weren’t as stiff anymore as he hugged you goodbye, even squeezed back a little. “Call me about your next meeting.”

Steve nodded. “Fly safely, alright?”

“I’ll walk you out,” Natasha said, pushing her chair back so abruptly Steve almost lost his balance.

There was an unease to her steps that became more noticeable on the evenings she took Rhodey aside, and you watched them leave with a slight frown. Considering how effortlessly she’d been teasing your deepest worries out of you over the past months, you couldn’t shake the feeling that her own walls wouldn’t come down so soon.

“Wanna play me for the last one?” Steve interrupted your thoughts, nodding towards the lonely leftover spring roll.

Your stomach grumbled in appreciation as you reached for the deck of cards already placed next to the empty food containers. “You’re not scared I’m gonna scam you, then?”

“I’m not hungry anymore,” he shrugged. “Besides, you have a tell.”

“I do?” And here you thought you’d stopped sweating. “What’s my tell?”

“You don’t like lying.”

Your fingers halted for just a fraction of a moment as you were shuffling the cards and you frowned. “That so?”

“Don’t get me wrong, you’re good at pretend.” Steve gently took the deck out of your hands. “But when you feel bad about something, it’s like a neon sign above your head. You only need to know where to look.”

He dealt the cards.

* * * * *

The sign next to the door tells you it’s still, again, and endlessly happy hour. “Get two of your favorites for the price of one!” it says in Lucy’s beautiful handwriting next to a lovely drawing of two colorful plastic cups.

Inside, the air conditioning is on full blast and the smell of ground coffee is enough to make you sigh contentedly. The queue, as usual, is at least ten deep, so you have some time to watch the people around you while you wait.

You’re late today, and you can see the remnants of a spilled drink behind a little yellow triangle proclaiming “Caution! Wet floor”. Apparently it’s busy enough today that no one’s had the time to clean up in the past hour. You still grimace as you step up to the counter.

“How’s it going, Luce?”

“Ask for a frappuccino and I will fucking murder you.” Your colleague tugs a strand of hair back under her cap with a sigh. “I swear, if I see another child today, I’m gonna quit.”

“That bad?” you ask with a sympathetic smile. Holidays always are, particularly at this store, since it’s only a hop and a fall from Grand Central. You still remember your last New Year’s Eve shift with a shudder.

“Please kill me,” Lucy says dryly and then, like always, “Usual?”

“Please,” you say, adding the rest of your order. “Love what you’ve done with your face, by the way!”

“Thank you,” she says, proudly turning her head so you can admire the other side of her red-white-and-blue themed makeup. “No one’s said anything all morning, can you believe that?”

Yes. Yes, you can, because this is New York and also she tells you every day. “Shut up!”

“I know, right?” She leans forward on her elbows, cracking her back. “You working this weekend?”

The way things are looking, you’re never working again. “Not ’til Wednesday.”

“Boo, lucky,” she groans as you sign your receipt. “I should go down with my hours, too. I feel like I’m in every day. Hi, welcome to Starbucks, what can I get started for ya?”

Her code switch as she talks to the next customer in line has you shuffle forward to the bar, carefully stepping around the melting puddle of a drink on the floor with a slight hiss as you strain your side slightly too much. The wound is healing, but so, so slowly.

You scroll through your phone while you wait for your drinks to be ready, handing out straws to people and wordlessly pointing them to the restroom before they harass your stressed coworkers. This part of the day in the late morning is your quiet time, and the almost familiar crowd with their incredibly mundane needs is strangely soothing to your nerves in their predictability.

It almost makes you miss work. Almost.

Your name is called, but before you can step up to collect your order, a familiar figure swoops in in front of you. You roll your eyes.

“What are you doing here,” you groan.

“I could ask you the same thing,” Bucky says, keeping the paper tray just out of your reach with a stern look on his face. “I thought you were sleeping.”

“I was. Now I’m getting coffee.” You reach for the tray again to no avail, and the stretch doesn’t feel fun at all. Still, you send him another reprimanding glare. “Bucky, I’m slightly wounded, I haven’t lost the use of my arms.”

“You were shot,” he says sharply as you step back into the sweltering New York sun. “You shouldn’t even be standing up right now, let alone waltz around town.”

“Oh, I forgot, the man from the forties has a medical degree. Are you going to prescribe me cocaine?” You won’t admit it, but it’s a struggle to keep up with his long strides. To your great annoyance, Bucky seems to notice and slows down.

“If I would, at least I’d make sure you’d never use it,” he says dryly, not looking at you. “That mine?”

“One to the left,” you say, crossing your arms and watching as he takes a swig of coffee. Another failure today, it seems. “And I wasn’t shot,” you add, muttering, “I was shot at.”

“And the living time machine has a PhD in English.”

“I have a myriad of talents.”

“Mazel tov.” The elevator dings before you can add the attempt to kick a super soldier in the shin to your skillset. “Sam ordered pizza, but I assume you knew that already,” Bucky says as the doors close.

You curse quietly. The thought of Italian food has started to make you sick to your stomach; one of the many tragedies of your current situation. Bucky grins.

“I take that as a yes.”

You grab your own cup of coffee off the paper tray with a little too much vigor, cursing again.

“You alright?”

“Shut up.” You take an angry gulp of coffee.

“Tell me,” Bucky says, watching you with an unimpressed expression. “Have you always been this stubborn or did you pick that up from Steve?”

“Why,” you say blankly, “did you get your being incredibly annoying from him, too?”

He rolls his eyes. “I wouldn’t have to be if you’d just sit down and stop moving around so much. It’s not hard.”

“I’m fine.” The elevator finally stops and you hobble outside with gritted teeth, deliberately not looking at Bucky. Only a few more steps.

“No, stop that,” you hear a voice before you turn the corner. “You can’t have that. You’re—you’re lactose intolerant!”

Both of you halt and take a moment to assess the delivery guy next to your front door. A pile of pizza boxes is precariously balanced on his left arm while with his right hand he’s trying to constrain a furious white ball of fluff.

You blink.

He notices both of you staring at him and quickly straightens up. “Oh. Hi! Sorry. I got your pizza and, uhm, your cat? I think?”

Alpine meows angrily.

“He was scratching at your door trying to get in,” the guy continues, watching with big eyes as Bucky pries the struggling cat from his leg.

“She,” he says, looking back at you with a frown.

You consider the cat.

You put her outside yesterday. Right?

“Sorry,” the delivery guy says miserably, catching you before you get lost in thought.

“It’s fine,” you say, finally looking at him again, forcing a friendly grin onto your face. “Would you mind bringing these in?”

It’s a coincidence. Of course it is.

* * *

“So let me get this straight,” Sam says, again. “You’re stuck in a time loop.”

You nod.

“Like Groundhog Day,” you and Sam confirm.

“Or Doubled and Redoubled,” you and Bucky offer.

“What the hell’s that?” you and Sam ask.

“It’s a good story,” you and Bucky say.

“It isn’t, by the way,” you tell Bucky. “It’s depressing as hell.”

“Don’t ever do that again,” he says, a flicker of annoyance in his eye.

You slouch down in one of Alpine’s supposed spots with a deep sigh, ignoring the pain in your side. “And how would you know?”

Sam still looks somewhat unconvinced, despite your little presentation. Apparently, you introducing him to the poor unsuspecting delivery guy every day isn’t quite the same as showing him your blood-drenched hands first thing in the morning.

“And Bucky’s gonna die?” he asks, putting his half-eaten slice of pizza back into the box.

You close your eyes. “He is.”

“How?”

Shot. Stabbed. Crushed to death. Blown to pieces. Dead. Alive. Dead. Alive.

“Does it matter?” You twist your rings around and around, another endless circle. “But it’s connected to the loop, somehow. Just like my powers.”

“What about your powers?” Bucky asks, and you don’t need to look at him to know he’s frowning again. He’s frowning so much these days. Today.

Talking about your powers feels like admitting to all your deficiencies, but you suppose this is your purgatory. Over and over, until sometimes, you reach a new little fork in the road. The tiniest bit of change.

It’s all you can cling to.

“My powers are like a remote control, right? You can pause or speed things up, no problem. Rewinding is the tricky bit.”

You get up with only a slight wince and grab the green whiteboard marker from the table, drawing a straight line on the plexiglass board. Today, you’ve come prepared for this.

“People usually think time is linear, right?” you continue. “And it kind of is, but only in this direction.” You draw a little arrowhead on the left side of the line and then point at the other end. “This right here, that’s now. There’s a pretty clear path from now to any point in the past, based on what we did with the information we had at any given moment. But, every time we make a decision, it could also go another way, right? Like, for example, if I used the blue marker.”

You draw a second arrow in blue from where the green one points at, ending it slightly above that one. Sam raises a hand.

“Yes?”

“What difference does it make which color you use?”

“In this case, none,” you answer, changing your pen again. “But if I go back in time and, say, turn left instead of right somewhere or tell you where someone’s gonna hit you before they do, that does make a difference, because it influences your decision.”

The red line curves more upwards than the other two, its arrow pointing in a completely different direction.

“The trick,” you say, tapping it, “is in avoiding something like this for random events and staying as close to the original path as possible.”

“What about the other paths, though?” Sam asks. “Do they just disappear?”

“I don’t know,” you shrug, capping the pen. “They do for me. Normally, once I go back, I can’t return to the very first timeline again.”

Things are never the same when you’ve already lived through them once. Your knowledge of the outcome mars everything that comes before, whether you want that or not. That’s what makes this loop so different; because even though you know what’s going to happen, you’re still unable to prevent it.

And that never changes.

“So, essentially,” Bucky comments, “you’re switching realities every time you go back.”

You blink, considering it for a moment. “I mean, I guess so? I haven’t thought about it that way.”

“You haven’t thought about it that way?” Bucky says incredulously.

“Well, I don’t exactly have a degree in time travel,” you sigh, rubbing your temples. “I just do it.”

“That doesn’t mean you don’t think about it.”

“What does all of this have to do with you Bill Murray-ing through this day?” Sam interjects.

“Who’s Bill Murray?”

“No one,” you say sharply. “Right now, time is fucked. Today isn’t moving on, it got stuck on repeat. That’s why my powers don’t work, either, you can’t go anywhere if it’s just the same point in time over and over again. Just one timeline tied into a knot.”

Or a single reality, you suppose. Maybe Bucky has a point.

“So everything just resets each time Bucky dies?” Sam says.

“Just like in a video game,” you confirm, slowly lowering yourself back down.

“That makes me feel so much better,” Bucky says, watching you with another frown.

“A rigged one,” Sam says. “It shouldn’t be that easy.”

And there’s your fork.

Your heart is pounding as you ask, “What do you mean?”

Sam raises his eyebrows. “He’s got the serum, remember? It should be about impossible to kill Bucky in a normal fight, let alone do it over and over again when he knows it’s coming.”

“I heal fast, I’m not invincible,” Bucky counters.

“No, he’s right.” If it weren’t so terrible to go through over and over again, it’d be almost comical how easily Bucky’s been killed over these past few days. You’ve had to take a mental note to keep him away from scissors. With your wound rendering you essentially useless in the fight, it’s often over long before Sam flies ahead through the tunnels, your alarm drowning out the string of curses falling out of your mouth.

“I can’t tell you what happened,” you inevitably tell Sam each morning as he helps you retie your tourniquet because your bandages have vanished again overnight. “I promised Bucky.”

“Are you shooting each other now?” he always asks. “Because you’re not supposed to do that literally.”

“Maybe there’s something that’s messing with your powers as well as mine,” you say now, looking at Bucky again. He puts his cup down, swallowing heavily. What kind of maniac doesn’t like chocolate in his coffee, you wonder.

“Like what?” he says.

“Could be a number of things,” Bruce says when you ask him the same question half an hour later.

It’s nice to see his face, even though you can see the bookshelf on the wall behind him through the projection if you squint. He looks as rattled as he always does, but with that glee in his eye that he gets when he’s presented with a particularly difficult problem. It makes Torres watch him wearily through his own phone screen, propped up against the books on the conference table.

“The most likely one is some sort of substance that’s working to lessen the effects of the serum in your blood,” Bruce continues, addressing Bucky. “Did you ingest anything, breathe something in?”

Bucky looks at you.

“There’s this substance at the lab,” you say. “You don’t touch it, but it’s this weird sort of blue … shit.” You gesture vaguely as Sam snorts.

“That is the technical term, actually,” Bruce says. “Have you noticed any other physical changes? Insomnia, loss of strength, headaches?”

“No changes,” Bucky says. It’s not really an answer.

“That’s the thing, Bruce,” you remind him gently. “Nothing has been changing. It can’t.”

“Fascinating,” he says. “And how long did you say this has been going on for?”

You bite the inside of your cheek. You’ve started tallying up the days on your thigh, just out of sight from everyone, hidden by your clothes. You have to make sure you’re not losing any of them. It seems like it’d make them less significant, somehow.

“Too long,” Sam answers for you, putting his notepad down on the table. You can make out a lot of question marks.

Day twenty-four. It should be July 27th today, but you’re still three weeks behind.

“Right, apologies.” Bruce pushes his glasses up his nose, his nervous glance darting between Bucky and you. “I can ask around, but obviously I can’t tell you if this even does what you’re suspecting without getting a sample to my lab.”

“Actually, sir,” Torres speaks up. “There’s been rumors for a while now.”

Sam stops his pacing as Torres adjusts the angle of his phone while he’s walking.

“The first generation of Flag Smashers were all super soldiers themselves,” he continues. “Now, though, ULTIMATUM have been actively looking for a way to make super soldiers more human again. To level the playing field for everybody.”

One world, one people.

One dead body.

“Meaning what?” Sam asks, his arms still crossed.

“Meaning, according to my sources, they’re trying to develop a way to strip super people of their abilities.”

“That’d mean years of research, testing, a whole roster of scientists they’d have to recruit,” Bruce says doubtfully. “Even if they have the funding for that, they’d need a sample of the original serum or something similar enough to work with.”

Sam sits. The look he exchanges with Bucky tells you he has his suspicions about the latter.

“The super soldier serum was recreated before,” Torres shrugs, oblivious to their silent conversation. “I bet they’re still working with the data they collected back then. Also, these are just rumors at this point. If they’re true at all, they’re still in early stages.”

“Hypothetically,” you say to Bruce, “what would that look like?”

“It’s hard to predict the outcome of experiments like that,” he says. “It’s less than clear how an individual’s actual cells get altered. But my best guess is, they’d try to phase out any advancements one by one, to ensure they’re moving in the direction they want.”

“One by one,” you repeat. “Like, start with the fast healing, for example.”

“Exactly,” Bruce nods. “It’d still have to be administered somehow, though.”

“Eat anything weird lately, Buck?” Sam asks dryly.

“It’s not necessarily something you ate,” Bruce adds at Bucky’s stony expression. “It might also be intravenous, similar to the original serum.”

“What about skin contact?” you ask, a small puzzle piece finally fitting into place.

“Sure, that’s possible. But it’d have to be quite potent stuff.”

“It was.” At least if the stench is anything to go by. You turn to Bucky. “We collected a sample, and you put it in your pocket. It must have broken when the computers exploded, and when I started the loop …”

It was absorbed into it.

You don’t say it out loud. The look in Bucky’s eyes confuses you, because even though he seems to put it together at the same time as you, his expression turns strangely warm, almost careful. It’s such a stark contrast to his usual quiet demeanor that it takes you another moment or two to figure it out.

He looks at you as if you’re about to break.

You suppose he’s not far off, either, as you barely listen to Bruce and Torres saying their goodbyes to Sam and you’re left contemplating all the things you did wrong to end up here, now, again.

The list is endless.

“So what’s next?” Sam says, and you finally turn your head to look at the clock.

“You leave to give your speech,” you answer.

“I’m not gonna do the stupid speech.”

“Yes, you are,” you and Bucky say simultaneously, and you shrug at his scowl.

“Bucky and I need to do something, anyway,” you add.

Sam doesn’t like this any better today than any other day, but he still lets himself be convinced to get changed. You’ve been over this more than once, after all.

“What are we doing, then?” Bucky asks once it’s only the two of you.

You grimace slightly. “I need you to break me into the library.”

series masterlist | part 2

[cravingpepsimax]

so I ship stancest but I dont really talk about it because of how mean people can be, plus I dont want to lose any community over it. Do you have any suggestions on how to start interacting with stancest stuff without incurring wraith?

the main thing you wanna do is use an alt/sideblog. this account — minus for a private community i am, + following other stancest shippers — is entirely detached from my main. i even have an alt ao3 account. here’s a few tips on making a stancest sideblog:

make sure you’ve got your following tab hidden on your main. you might think, “oh, i won’t follow stancest blogs, that’s a liability” — you will. it’ll be fine. they’ll get it.

if you are a popular artist, and your style is distinct, either do not post your art or try and use a different style. this goes for all forms of art, though the bar changes — for example, authors do have unique writing styles, but, unless you’re writing some Really Groundbreaking Fanfiction, most people probably won’t go “hey, doesn’t this sound like x?”.

the above matter SIGNIFICANTLY less if you don’t post much/any gf art on main. at that point, you’re looking for a venn diagram overlap of “people who like whatever you normally post”, “people who look at stancest content”, and “people who hate stancest content”.

DO NOT POST IN THE MAIN TAG. do NOT. seriously. tumblr’s a lot more chill these days, and i’ve seen some stancest posts in the main tag that get away scot-free, but you’re IMMEDIATELY exposing urself to the hoarde. in a similar vein, censor ship names that aren’t considered problematic, like b1llf0rd, f1ddauth0r, f1ddlest4n, etc.

i wish u luck on ur stancest journey, fellow stancest secret society member 🫡

[dr9com9ge-ix]

Were there any ideas that you considered for your Sprunki AU before scrapping it at the last minute?

So alot of Sunshine suburbia is like- Being developed still! So “Last minute” isn’t really that… Applicable? I’ll just list a bunch of things I remember changing. (Also the delays and inactivity isn’t a loss of interest- Its more so I’ve grown a bit busier with having a job for a moment!— Also headaches ow)

- Most of the character bios (aka the initial design posts) on this account are technically outdated compared to the sprunkisunshinesuburbia blog’s, especially like… A bunch of designs (I stare at OWACKX/Oz’s old design and shudder…)

And like portions like “Raddy was a bounty hunter” etc- Aka don’t really take too much of the info of those posts as canon to the au.

- Deciding all sprunkis have tails of some sort, For mostly just “Tails are cool. This makes them more interesting silhouette-wise” and like it makes me happy they’re a little less ‘ just a colorful human’ and more ‘Colorful critter!” This especially applied to Jevin who uh… I was almost gonna leave as is but people kept making bald jokes and I was getting a little annoyed.

Actually not a little! Very annoyed. But the current design I made is like… My favorite now so at least the bald jokes made something good happen! (I also REALLY didn’t wanna give him poofy emo boy hair I’ve seen alot because like… Idk I just did not think it fit him for whatever reason and also I think he should be allowed to be a little bald… as a treat.)

- During christmas, My friend Mira gave me the design for Luxia, The Lighthouse creature so she and some more characters got incorporated into the story. Initially the town was only going to have Glowe and Therman as sort of duo running the town but then it became 4 people when I made Syno and Nymn aka the Lighthouse keepers. (Wonderful Art below by @knightmira )

- Also making Glowe and Therman a biiit older than like late twenties— They where formerly like 20+ but I went “That’s a little young to be founding an ENTIRE town” so I tacked on a decade. I also think people should be less scared of making characters older than 20 or something.

- Making Tunner actually have a horse- Its now a weird critter thats horse-like but not a horse! It’s called a honse! (Very different I know but I think it’s funny and it stuck) A bunch of the critter designs (Including Honses and Blinkers) are by my pal Aqua! Also the doodle below is of Tunner’s Honse, Cornbread! Possibly from an earlier period… She’s an ol’ girl. She’d be alot scruffier but he takes good care of her.

- Having like… “Normal” animals. I’m a big proponent of “I could do MORE with the world building!!! There’s NO way critters on Cacophony would be exactly the same as earth animals!!!!!” so like— Making equivalents/counterparts for certain animals! Like cats- I’m telling you now that they’re called “Meows” in this solely because I think sprunkis would call alot of animals after their sounds. (Not all- But like some of em)

- Similar to the animals- Some plants are more fantastical. I say this specifically because like. In Vineria’s old bio on this blog that she smokes weed- It’s actually Sprunknip now! It’s a bit siller- Works like weed and catnip to sprunkis!

- Sky’s age- I actually for awhile thought he was 15 but actually he’s 14. This one is literally just me forgetting and then remembering.

I think! That’s about it? Idk what else to put here!

[mysewingadventures]

Making the ✨Lioncourt Gown✨ (Part 1/4)

Shoot, it's been like two years since I last posted, apologies! I’ve been incredibly busy with uni and life in general, taking care of my mental health, it’s just been a very stressful time lately. I haven't really worked on anything worthy of posting in the meantime, only minor things and one dress I rushed and it didn't turn out well anyway. But, since Halloween is coming up and I don’t feel like wearing the same thing for the third time in a row, I thought it was the perfect excuse to try and make something new and the other day at 2am I fell down a rabbit hole and came up with an idea I’m completely obsessed with.

So recently, (in case you couldn't tell by the title haha) I’ve been really into Interview with the Vampire (the TV show), and there’s this one costume that’s so iconic it immediately caught my attention: This Lestat outfit.

I feel like since this blog isn't fandom related I need to explain myself to those of you who are just semi-familiar with IWTV. Maybe you know Lestat as essentially the villain of the story and are wondering why on earth I'd want to make an outfit inspired by him. The answer is quite simple and not actually deep at all: I just thought it'd be a fun project. I'm very well aware of his personality and would not want to be in the same room as him in real life haha. But he's such an interesting character to watch on screen (they all are, in my opinion). Anyways-

This outfit is from a scene that takes place in the 1790s and now, I’m unfortunately not too versed in men’s fashion so I can’t quite comment on its historical accuracy (and also it’s worn in the context of a theater performance so it’s bound to be more flashy than what people would have worn on the streets), but the way the lapel is shaped just screams redingote to me, and since I've always wanted to make a redingote I'm going to make a redingote version of the costume!

For reference, here's what a c. 1790 redingote looks like:

This one has a normal button closure but redingotes were also often double-breasted (which is what I'm going for), taking inspiration from men's fashion. These were often worn to ride in - hence the name, redingote - riding coat.

Maybe this is the point where I should mention that I'm not going for perfect historical accuracy for this project. It really is just a fun project to try to approximate something as seen on a show to an actual historical piece of clothing.

Here’s a super quick sketch I drew to check if the colors looked good together, and I have to say, I’m sold 1000%.

I am so excited to wear this when it’s done, but also a bit anxious because for starters, I’ve never made a redingote before, and the dresses that I have made all have issues with the sleeves because apparently, I can’t sew sleeves correctly. So this time, I really want to make sure it all fits properly before I sew it and take my time with it to make sure it ends up being something that I love as much as I love the idea of it.

This time, I tried something a little different with my mockup - usually, I’ll draft a pattern on paper, then cut out my mockup and sew it, but this time I decided to make the mockup by draping the fabric directly on the mannequin that I dressed in my stays and a bumroll, making sure I had the correct measurments, and it was a complete gamechanger. It fit right away with minimal adjustments, and I was also immediately able to check how the fabric falls, if it needed to be on the bias or not, etc. I ended up doing everything on straight grain which is technically not 100% correct as the front piece needs to be on a slight bias but it seems to work for this piece so let’s hope the fabric doesn’t wrinkle! I’ll also be adding boning so I’m hoping that’ll additionally keep it all straight and even in the front.

Once the mockup was completed, I went on the search for the right fabrics and got these (the skirt fabric, the buttons and the tape I ordered online and they've yet to arrive!):

The black base fabric and the blue one are cotton, as will be the skirt. The details are satin! I spent a long time at the fabric store trying to think of the best way to do this and it does look like the details on Lestat's outfit are maybe velvet, but I was afraid it would look a little too costume-y and cheap, so I ended up going with satin in the end.

I pinned the fabric mock-up onto the lining fabric (just a white Ikea bedsheet), added 1,5cm seam allowances where needed cut out the lining first, then placed the lining onto the black base fabric and cut that out as well.

I needed to lay the pieces down this way because I bought 2,5 meters, and I'll need 2m for the outer skirt alone so there's not a lot of space left, as I'll also have to cut out the sleeves from that fabric. I then sewed everything together.

And then I noticed I'd made a mistake - the lining for the front panel was supposed to be blue. Welp, now it's white, and I also realized I didn't have enough blue fabric to do the collar AND the lining, so I went for a fake lining for which I cut out two blue triangles to be slightly bigger than the lapel

and stitched them to the lining layer so the seams wouldn't be visible on the black outer layer. This was the result:

Pretty happy with it! Next up, even though I don't have the beige tape yet, I decided to cut out the color panels in the front and already pin them down. After some trial and error, I decided to go for 15x4,5cm triangles and calculated the size needed for the shorter ones (9x7,5cm), cut them out of the satin (which, let me tell you, was so finicky it ended up being the most difficult part of it all) laid them down and fastened with pins.

This is what I have so far:

Looking at it in the picture, I'm worried that the color panels take up too much space in the front. It looks like that in the original picture, but in my sketch I made everything a little narrower. But I was also scared of pulling on it too much because the panels are just pinned to the fabric. Some parts are sticking out over the black base layer which maybe also makes it look wider than it really is, I'll cut it to shape once I have the tape and have a better visual understanding of what it's going to look like.

Next up will be the collar/yoke and the dreaded sleeves and possibly the boning. I should do the boning before I attach the beige tape. I am realizing as I’m writing this that I should’ve done the boning before pinning down the colored panels as they’re supposed to cover it. Oh well. It’s fine. Either way, I think it already looks super cool and I can't wait to see the finished product!

Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4|

[scnderlands]

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀𝒩𝒮𝐹𝒲 𝒜𝐿𝒫𝐻𝒜𝐵𝐸𝒯 — j.slaughter

warnings + tags — MINORS / AGELESS BLOGS DNI, female reader, mentions of sex, dacryphilia, blood kink, non-con kink, knife play, johnny slaughter being johnny slaughter, typical nsfw things

authors notes — I’ve been wanting to do an alphabet for some of the tcm characters forever, so why not kick it off with a dirty little johnny post? this is all for fun and games, so if you don’t agree w anything, that’s okay <3 I might make some more n/sfw alphabets if people want, too (also let’s pretend I’m not uploading this at 6am).

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

at first he wasn’t exactly understanding of aftercare, he was used to just fucking and leaving, you know, the whole family business. but once he got with you, you taught him what aftercare actually was and it became one of him favourite things — he’d actually look forward to it, not that he’d tell you that. the idea of holding you close to him, all sweaty and panting, both of you more relaxed than you ever could be, enjoying the silence and the come down from your shared high. what could be better?

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

his favourite body part of yours is definitely your ass and thighs, doesn’t matter whether they’re big or small, he just loves the soft parts of your body. he loves squeezing them, slapping them, biting them, laying on them — whatever, he is just borderline obsessed with them. but in all honesty, every single part of your body is his favourite, he’s just so into you that he can barely contain himself.

his favourite part of himself is his arms and hands, his muscular biceps and large hands make him feel manly and give him extra confidence, plus when he’s choking someone, seeing his hands or arms cover them completely kinda gets him going. plus he knows how much you love those parts of him, and that makes him like himself just that little bit more.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

he’s filthy when it comes to his cum, he’ll have it everywhere — he’ll cum on your face, your ass, in your mouth, and even forcing it into your cunt and breeding you like you deserve. he claims you as his and him having his cum in you or all over you just cements that fact. it tastes a little salty but mostly just normal, he likes to think he has a “good” diet just for your taste.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

johnny is a dirty little panty stealer, especially dirty panties. any time you’re showering or have gotten changed, he’ll pick up a pretty pair and shove it into his pocket, and he’ll act completely innocent when you ask if he’s seen them anywhere — he’ll just claim he probably ripped them to shreds when he fucked you, or threw them behind something accidentally. he loves smelling them while he’s masturbating (which isn’t often) but when he really misses you, then it just brings him that much closer to you. he has a secret little stash of them in his shack, tucked away in the back of a drawer, all different colours and styles just for his pleasure.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

no surprise but he is pretty damn experienced, but in the beginning he only really fucked for his own pleasure, not really caring about the other person. but when he got you, then all he wanted was to hear you moaning, to hear his name tumbling from your pretty lips. so he focused on and used everything he knew best, and of course he listened and learnt what you enjoyed — he basically became a god of fucking you, knowing everything that made you break, the things that made you quiver and come without him barely touching you.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

surprisingly, missionary is his favourite, mostly because he likes seeing your face while he’s fucking you, having his hands wrapped around your throat or pinning your hands above your head. there’s something intimate about the simplicity of missionary and he loves that. but he enjoys mixing it up a little, missionary that turns into a mating press, and whatnot.

his second favorite is doggy, but because he loves ass, and it makes it easy to wrap his arm around your neck and pull you back into his chest. a secret favourite as well is forcing you into the full nelson, because what wouldn’t be enjoyable about that?

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

he’s more serious but it’s because he gets lost in the moment, he’s so concentrated on making you come that he doesn’t really take the moment to be more relaxed. but it doesn’t mean he doesn’t know how to laugh and joke on during it, he’ll often say things that makes you chuckle, especially when he’s being “sweet” — but he doesn’t make a habit to go out of his way to make a joke unless it’s to lighten the mood after an intense session.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

johnny is pretty well groomed, he often shaves his armpits and trims his pubes, mostly because of the hot weather so he likes to keep it shorter but also because he feels more comfortable. he definitely leaves hair down there though, and grows out his happy trail because he knows he looks good with it. and of course he leaves the little bit of chest hair he has. all of his hair is jet black, and pretty thick and straight.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

he can sometimes be nice and loving, slow and romantic. whispering sweet nothings into your ear, pumping in and out of you deeply, just showing how he loves you. but of course he has the moments, which is more likely, where he fucks you hard and rough, using you for his own pleasures. it all depends on the moment, the day, and his mood, but expect a bit of everything from him. but johnny has his own ways of intimacy, his own way of showing his love and being what he thinks is romantic, even if he is being rough the entire time.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

he rarely jacks off, instead he prefers having sex with you to relieve himself, but on the off times he does need to jack off, then he has specific things he’ll do. like stated he’ll sniff your panties or look at polaroids of naked pictures you took for him, picturing you riding him and moaning for him. he’ll edge himself a lot, too, your name always rolling off his tongue when he moves his hand nice and slow up and down his cock. other times he wants it over quickly, locking himself in the bathroom and fucking his hand hard and fast, just needing to come and get it over with so he can get back to his busy schedule.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

blood kink — need I say more? he loves eating and tasting people, and your blood is something that he loves tasting, especially when he’s balls deep inside of you. there’s something so intimate about licking the blood trickling down your neck and making love to you at the same time, something so intimate about sharing something like blood with each other. he also loves having you taste his, whether it’s from biting his lip or even just licking his wound when he accidentally cuts himself.

knife kink — again, a pretty obvious one, the man who walks around with a knife and cuts people up basically for a living? he likes the way you flinch under the cool steel of his blade, cutting your clothes off your body with it, leaving lines and marks on you. he’ll cut you if you let him, not deep enough to scar, but enough to get a little blood from you, two kinks for the price of one.

non-con kink — he loves having his way with you, especially when you’re begging him to stop or when you’re whimpering and crying. of course he doesn’t hurt you, instead he pleasures until you can’t take it anymore, until you want it to stop but he just won’t. sometimes he’ll grab you from behind when you least expect it, blindfold and gag you, tie you up and fuck you senseless.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

he’s a simple man with simple pleasures, taking you on a bed or the sofa in his shack is good enough for him, anything with soft padding for him and you to be comfortable. but sometimes he likes to mix it up, fucking you in a victims car or bending you over a table in his mothers house and having his way with you. it depends on his mood like usual, it doesn’t matter where it is as long as he gets to cum in you — but he does have a preference for the risky areas, the outdoor places where you have the chance to be caught, or even just places where he didn’t bother locking the door.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

he’s a pretty simple man so a lot of things you do turn him on, it can be as simple as seeing you all warm and bothered on a hot summers day or seeing you bend over picking something up off the floor. but some other things are a little meaner, like seeing you cry when you’re upset or when you’re annoyed with him and you pout all cute like. his favourite thing though, is when you’re angry or really upset, shouting at him, pushing him away or pounding on his chest to get him away — that instantly sends the blood to his cock.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

there isn’t much he wouldn’t do, or at least there isn’t really any hard no’s. but he isn’t a fan of threesomes, he doesn’t like the idea of anyone else touching you, pleasing you — he knows he’s enough for you and you’re enough for him, so why would you want to invite someone else into the bedroom? as for turn offs, there isn’t really many, something might turn his off once because of his mood or just how he’s feeling on that day but then it might not the next time.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

just like most people, he loves recieving and seeing you on your knees, especially when you’re choking and gagging on him. but he absolutely loves going down on you, he loves to pleasure you and anything that gets you moaning his name, he loves. he’s really good at it too, he was already good before he met you but he’s learnt exactly what gets you going, and god knows he can work miracles with that tongue of his. there are times he’ll go down on you for the sake of it, not even expecting it to be foreplay for sex. he’ll just push you up against something and drop to his knees, pushing your panties to the side and eating you out, then he’ll just go about the rest of his day like normal after making you come on his face.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

he goes between fast and rough and slow and sensual, but most of the time he likes it fast and rough. throwing you about and using you as a glorified fleshlight and making you come at his will is just too much to pass up. when he’s been more romantic or sensual, he likes to have you in missionary, his head buried in the crook of your neck where his moans and sighs are slightly muffled, and he can just push his cock into you nice and slowly.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

as much as he loves taking his time with you, he loves a good old fashioned quickie, bending you over some car or throwing you up against a wall when he needs to relieve himself. he’s worse with it when he’s had a bad day and something has annoyed him, he’ll practically hunt you down just to fuck you. he doesn’t have quickies every day, but it’ll be at least one or twice every couple of days.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

johnny is completely down for taking risks, fucking you in easily caught places and places that are pretty dangerous — the most noticeable place being near his mothers house, or even inside, he’ll drag you off somewhere when you’re visiting her and have his way with you then act like nothing happened when you can barely walk. he loves to experiment with you, too, after all he has some pretty out there kinks that you didn’t exactly like or ever think about trying, but he respects if you have hard no’s — he’s a lot more caring than he pretends to be.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

not so surprisingly, he has a lot of stamina, and can go a whole bunch of rounds, but usually he’ll tap out after two, or a very long session. he enjoys having multiple sessions throughout the day rather than all at once, because then he can burn off all that energy and anger he gets during the day. during a usual session, foreplay included, it’ll last around 45 minutes to an hour — after all, he really loves taking his time with you.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

so he’s pretty hit and miss with toys, he didn’t exactly like them at first. he was kinda insulted when you brought up the idea of having a vibrator / when he found yours, because he took it that he wasn’t good enough for you and that you clearly needed to have something else make you come. after you finally convinced him to just use it on you during sex, his entire world lit up. watching how easy it was to have you a quivering, blubbering, sniveling mess sent blood rushing straight to his cock — and now a lot of the time, especially during longer sessions, he’ll use it on you to tease or give his hand a little bit of a break if he needs it. he also loves making you use it on yourself while he watches, sometimes wanking himself off while you make yourself come.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

he’s a huuuuge tease, loves to edge you for as long as he can, it’s even better if he gets you to the edge of coming on a morning then he can leave for the day — but he tells you not to touch yourself, because he’ll know — sometimes he’ll even “check” during the day to make sure you haven’t made yourself come. if you’ve been good for him then he won’t tease you for too long, but it’s rare he goes a day without teasing you just a little bit. he just loves hearing you whimper and beg for him, and he gets off on being the only one that can make you come.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

johnny grunts and cusses a lot during sex, or even when you’re just teasing / going down on him. he has no issue being vocal anymore, although he was a lot quieter when you first got together. now he’s completely fine with moaning into your ear, and he actually loves moaning your name, he doesn’t even care who hears — he likes you knowing how good you make him feel, plus he knows how much it turns you on having him moaning and cussing when he’s deep inside you.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

okay I’ve said it a million times, and I’ll say it a million more, he’s actually really sweet to you, and treats you like an angel. at first he’d be a little mean, still saying things that would hurt your feelings or just scaring you by him being him — but once you’d been dating awhile, he’s the “hurt them and I kill you” type guy, the one that’ll kill for you, the one that’ll die for you. he’s so wrapped around your little finger it’s almost unbelievable, he’s so in love that he’d do nearly anything you ask — but he’s only like that when you’re alone, for the most part. when you’re around other people he’s super possessive and lets others know who you belong to, always having a hand around your waist or yanking you into the most sexually fuelled kiss when someone talks to you for too long. nonetheless, he’d protect you with his life and is actually really sweet, in his own way, of course.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

okay he’s got a pretty huge dick, it’s 7”-7.5”, and it’s girthy as all hell, to the point he needs to warm you up a lot before even thinking about trying to push himself into you. he’s not cut, and he’s got a big fat vein that runs along the underside of his cock and it’s super sensitive around there, too. the closer to the tip of his cock, the more reddish purple it turns, especially when he’s hard. oh and let’s not forget, he’s got big, heavy balls as well.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

he’s ridiculously horny, that man has a crazy sex drive and it was kinda hard to keep up with at first. he has a naturally high one anyway but it’s made worse by his obsession with you — he needs to be in you constantly, filling you, making you his. as soon as he wakes up he’s there being needy, he’s the exact same at night when you’re going to bed. and don’t be surprised if he doesn’t pull you round the back of a shack to fuck you during the day, too.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

johnny falls asleep instantly, there’s not a single thought behind that man’s eyes. and it’s made even worse when he tires himself out fucking you senseless a good few rounds before finishing — he’s the type that as soon as his head hits the pillow, he’s passed out snoring, mouth open, twitching and kicking you all night. or sometimes he’s just so still that you’re not sure he’s alive anymore, just perfectly motionless, couldn’t even be woken up by the end of the world.