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stormy333 · 3 years ago

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Canadian Coffee Shop

Seven Days Before (July 7th)

“Just to clarify you are coming to pick me up at the Toronto airport on the thirteenth, right?” I ask my brother feeling anxious about tomorrow and this whole upcoming week/weeks. Not only am I going to Maine to meet family but I’m going to be leaving from Maine to go to Canada! Like wow I’m excited but also terrified! I’m spending the whole six days of Maine with a family reunion of sorts in which I was extremely young the last time I saw anyone if I even met them. But at least I’ll know my grandmother and great grandmother. Then my older brother decided to go to that week but extended his and his girlfriends stay so that he and his friends could be the ones to show me around Canada. I was going to go for my 19th birthday but he and his friends and my parents plotted behind my back to get me out of Florida for a while.

“Nah we figured we’d let you get kidnapped or something.” He says staring at me with a straight face, classic Jake. My parents decided it would be nice to go out to dinner before we all leave tomorrow so here at Texas roadhouse and ordering my brother is giving me hell when I’m already in hell because I’m terrified of traveling!

“Jake! Don’t give your sister so much trouble not tonight please.” Our mom half heartedly chimes in.

Everyone is staring at me like I’m nuts but I’m just broken that’s all? Just kidding of course though that is why they want me to take a break from being in Florida and around well just her because they’re scared I’m going to lose it completely this time.

Six Days Before

Clang*clang*

What the hell is that? I look at the clock that was my grandfather’s and see it’s 7:15 am.

“Wakey wakey eggs and Bakey! Time to get up and get ready to go to another country! And abandon me and your mother!” I should have known it was my Dad. Bastard.

“Really! Is this necessary? I could have slept in a few more minutes you psycho!” I yell at him.

“I love you to baby girl.” He responds back with a laugh. I throw the blanket back and get up and then get dressed in the outfit laid out on my dresser. Then I make my bed and tidy the room and tell my fur babies I love them.

“Marie is this your stuff?” My brother asks pointing to my luggage just inside the door.

“Yeah, you and Savannah already loaded?”

“Yep, you’re the last one.”

“Okay. I’m finishing up now.” I say walking out behind him.

Soon enough we’re arriving at my grandma’s house and getting her loaded in and begin the drive to Sanford international airport. A two and a half hour drive shoved in the backseat with my brother and his girlfriend and feeling anxious I decided it was time to listen to my music and zone out.

During the ride my mind is going over the plan about the family reunion with everyone and then how instead of coming home with my grandmother I’m going to be taking a flight to Toronto. I’m finally going to both Maine and Canada! Like what? Just a month ago I was freaking so close to the edge and now here I am. Right at the edge of something new.

Saying goodbye to my dad was difficult I’ve never been one to like being away from home or my family and though I was with my grandma it was still scary to me.

Awaiting our flight, the typical anxiety of everything came crashing in. My pets won’t have me there, my parents won’t have me there, my brother and his girlfriend are also going on a plane, what about Aliveya? What if she contacts me? What about this or that? All of these things going through my mind but also the excitement of wow I’m actually doing this.

The flight was roughly three and a half hours and my grandmother and I just sat there kinda in silence a random question here or there but no full conversations. After landing her sister-in-law greeted us my aunt Jainy then we went to baggage claim and then it was off to great grandmothers. My uncle Ralf was hilarious and reminded me a lot of my brother and I instantly felt at home.

-----------------------------------------------July 13th POV Charlie---------------------------------------------------------------

“Bro! Check it out!” Zeke says throwing his phone to me. He’s on our pack site, and of course wouldn’t you know it there’s an announcement about a huge ass gathering in honor of some of my family coming to town.

“Seems like a good enough reason to extend my stay here.” I say knowing my family expects me to return for this, but I also couldn’t bear to give any fucks about it. I’m next in line but I can’t take over until I find my mate or that’s what everyone keeps telling me. I’ve watched my sister’s, both my twin and younger find theirs as well as my brother and all my friends. And here I am almost 31 and still nothing! I came to Canada because I love it, so I came for the territory that I’m allowed in plus I have acquaintances here so yeah, I’m here because I'm tired of being the charity case back home or the complete jackass.

“Come on Charlie it could be fun and maybe Liza will come home for it?”

“Doubtful she has her own pack to take care of and anyway you’re free to go home whenever you wish.”

“Bro, it won’t be THAT BAD.”

“Really? Here! Check out my phone! Look at all the messages just from our Beta.” I say shoving my phone at him. Our Beta is a close friend Adrian we went to high school together as did our fathers but Adrians dad was kicked out of the pack a long time ago for some hefty shit his son trained and trained and beefed up to be better than his father. Only problem though is that he’s a kiss ass with my dad. Especially after I got back from overseas.

“Fine you got me beat we’ll stay a while longer but in the morning, we’re trying out that coffee shop I’ve been wanting us to go to.” Zeke says this in the way he used to tell me that he liked the same girl I liked before he and Mandy went exclusive though that only lasted a minute it felt like with them on again off again all the time.

“Alright but you’re paying.” I joke then shut the light off in our hotel room.

-----------------------------------------------------July 13th POV Marie----------------------------------------------------------

“Haevyn Marie are you at the airport yet?” My brother and his friends all chime in on the phone call.

“Hello to you all too? And yes, I just finished walking gram to her gate and I’m going to mine.” I say smiling knowing the sun burn and headache are totally worth the amazing time I’ve had these past few days having spent time with family and knowing now that I can come back and have them.

“Good. Look no talking to random guys, no taking candy from strangers and no like uh anything that can get us both killed by our parents deal?”

“Deal. I’ll text you when I take off and when I land. I love you.”

“Love you too Marie”

Buzz buzz *

“Incoming text from Gramama

Hey Marie I just bored, I’ll message you when I land and your father picks me up. Have a safe flight, love you.

Received 6:45pm”

I responded to the text and then went back to my book and by the next page it was boarding time…

I texted the group chat

“To think in roughly six hours, I will finally have run away to Canada!”

Then turned it on airplane mode. I must have fallen asleep because before I knew it the announcement went over the intercom about how we were landing soon. Walking off the plane and stepping foot into Canada for the first time I was like melting inside! Holy shit! I’m finally here! I did it! I came to Canada! I ran away to Canada! I snap out of my thoughts quickly by someone saying my name.

“Marie! So nice to finally meet the little sister from Florida! Dude! We have so much to show you!” Bronimir, my brother's best friend since 13 says with such excitement. Surprisingly it was just Bronimir and Jake, no one else came. But I was slightly relieved only one at a time. Jake came over and awkwardly hugged me, seeing how we aren’t really that much of a hugging family.

“So nice to finally meet you too! And I’m so glad to see you!”

“Alrighty well let’s get you your bags and get you to your hotel so you can catch some rest and take your medicine and all that? Then we can start Canada day tomorrow?” my brother was taking strong note at my body language. Being more visibly protective tonight.

“Alright” Bronimir and I both say as we start walking to the baggage claim.

“What in the world did you need two suitcases for?” Jake asked seeing the size of the second case I bought to buy another checked bag.

“You shall see” I said with a laugh.

We arrive at the hotel which is gorgeous! It looks like a mansion but it was actually fairly priced. They both walk me to the room. Room 333 my favorite number so of course I’ll remember it and Jake and Savannah are staying just down the hall in 339. We say our goodbyes and Bronimir leaves to go back home and Jake stays for a moment to make sure I’m settling then he heads to his room. Once he’s gone though it is one in the morning I still go through and set my things up for the next two weeks. My clothes neatly organized my medicine in the gorgeous bathroom with a soaker tub and just generally getting my temporary home set up then I call it a night after taking a shower.

I have this odd dream where I meet a faceless man in the woods and he doesn’t say or do anything just stands there. And then there is a voice and it sounds like it is saying something, calling my name possibly? Then the ground falls from under me and suddenly I’m back home on a road I’ve driven a thousand times and there’s something staring at me I can feel it so I turn around and there’s a gigantic greyish black wolf standing there in the trees. Almost like he’s admiring me. His eyes are green a hunter green to be precise. He starts walking towards me when I’m jolted awake by knocking on my door and my phone ringing.

-------------------------------------------------July 14th POV Charlie-------------------------------------------------------------

“Hey man I got a question?”

“Stop the presses! Sealy Red has a question!”

“Fuck you man I’m being serious.”

“Alright. Fine what’s you’re question?”

“Remember the old legend about the dreams when your mate is near?”

“Yeah, but it’s just that a legend. A tale of old. And it’s – I cut him off with

“When the Prophesied connection comes along the minds will be connected. The human mind to the wolf mind even throughout distance. But to a different beat than a regular connection as their minds will connect before meeting with a symbolic dream.” I quoted the scroll passed down from our bloodlines like a bloody religion.

“Dude! How? Do you just like read that shit as a bedtime story or something?” He asks with a surprised look on his face.

I scoffed but he’s right. Partially.

“I mean, no? But also, it would make sense as to why it’s taken so long to find her?”

“No man we’ve been through this before she’s probably like- he sucks in a breath before continuing- bro she’s probably gone.”

“No!”

“What makes you think you’re that alpha?!?”

“Think about it Zeke look at the bloodlines, two of the most powerful bloodlines in the world mated, their first born were twins a boy and girl. Eliza and I. The mate is found later because he or she not only is human but they’re much younger than they’re wolf counterpart. Not to mention it’s hella better to think this than THAT!”

“Yeah I get what you’re saying about the similarities between you and the thing but not the rest?”

“ZEKE SHES HERE! IN CANADA!”

“How the hell do you know that? Did you go for a run or something last night? Like what? How?”

“A dream. That fucking symbolic dream.”

“How do you know it was that?”

“Because in the dream I was standing in the woods with a smaller brunette and she was standing there looking around seemingly confused but when she locked eyes with me a voice rang through and she seemed spooked for a moment until the ground fell through and we were back home in Florida. On that stretch over by salt springs. And Xavier was in control but we were standing on the edge of the forest. He was dead set on something but I wasn’t sure what until I looked for myself and it was her. Standing there confused and then she locked eyes with us and moved towards us like she wanted to talk to us or something.”

“Okayy… But that seems kinda normal?”

“I know that wasn’t the weird part. She was wearing jeans and a tank top but again not the weird part. When she turned around there were like glowing marks on her back all shaping to our crest.”

“What the hell?”

“Same”

“Alright well um let’s go get coffee and talk about it more?”

“Yeah, let’s do that but I’m spiking my coffee with some whiskey.” I say laughing.

------------------------------------------------July 14th POV Marie---------------------------------------------------------------

“Hello?” I answer my phone without checking the id.

“Come open your door but make sure you have pants on.” Jake says laughing historically.

“Um, okay?” I say grabbing my sweats and going to open the door still half asleep.

“Holy fuck!” Jesse says from the back pointing at my hair.

“What” my words are snatched away as I’m greeted by my brother, his girlfriend and all six of the guys that are basically my brothers as well.

“Your hair! What’d you do to it?”

I quickly turn to the mirror next to me and realize that my braided bun from yesterday is well falling apart and frizzy as fuck.

“Oh shit, this is awkward. Why don’t you guys come in and make yourselves comfortable I have to go fix this and get ready. I’m sorry about over sleeping.”

“You are good dawg” one of the guys says and they all come in and Jake slyly or so he thinks checks my meds to make sure I’m taking them. I quickly get a shower this time taking my hair out of the style it was.

Once my shower is finished, I throw on my typical Jean’s and a button down and socks then top it off with “forever mine mist”. Then go out and get a proper introduction to all my brother's friends.

Instantly I’m greeted with a slew of brotherly teases.

“Bro is all your music Taylor Swift, I thought Jake was just messing with us.” Cole jokes.

“And for real what is in that second case there a whole human could fit in it!” Jonas exclaimed.

“She probably has some cute guy in there!” Bronimir and Savannah chime in.

“Oh my gosh people!” I say laughing. “Okay can you guys get off the bed, so I can make it?” I ask. Which induced hysterical laughing through the room.

“You do know that’s what like the cleaning services are for?” Bronimir’s brother Ash asks me with slight concern.

“Yes, but I also like to do it myself preferably.” I say laughing.

“Just checking”

“Alright so you ready for some coffee and the Canada experience Haevyn Marie?” They all ask in creepy union.

“Fuck yeah!” I say enthusiastically. “Oh but wait. The case you guys are convinced has a human in it, it actually has gifts. I wasn’t really sure what everyone liked so I kinda just guessed?”

“Awwe” again creepy union.

“For you Jackson, but wait don’t open them until everyone has it okay?” They all nod as I continue to pass out the little black gift bags with their names on the cards on them. “For you Tyler, Bronimir, Jonas, Ash, Cole, and of course my big brother Jake and Savannah. Now you can open them!” Everyone opened their slightly matching Tumblr cups all saying, “when life gets hard you just leveled up”. In each card was a personal note to each of them.

“Oh, and there’s this.” I say grabbing a bigger gift bag from the case, and hand it to Bronimir who happens to be a new dad.

“What is it?” he asks looking at me curiously.

“A gift from our family to yours for keeping him in line all the time and a congratulations for being a dad. Just open it.” I say grinning knowing how special this is. The look on his face was plenty enough satisfying for me.

“Shall we?”

“Let’s go get the adventure started!” Cole said. So, we all walk down to the parking lot and get into the vehicles and head off. I’m lost in amazement at where we are to even care much about the conversation going on or the car stopping until someone, my brother, opens my door and I almost fall out.

“Hey!”

“I warned you.”

“You did?”

“Come on we’re here weirdo.”

He grabs my wrist, noticing the flinch when he did but didn’t say anything just walked us to the door where the guys and Savannah were waiting. This was like a coffee shop you’d see in a movie where a cheesy romance was about to start, I think to myself.

-------------------------------- --------------------POV Charlie--------------------------------------------------------------------

We get to the coffee shop and there’s a line there was a group of like eight or nine in front of us and at first my all I can smell is coffee but Xavier is like pacing in my mind and mumbling and Zeke is standing next to us texting Mandy but in his own world. And then it hits me.

Roses, black ice? The soft smell of woods and rain. HOLY FUCK SHES SOMEWHERE IN THIS SHOP!!! Who though?

The order in front of us is called up and we all move up. Seven guys and two girls. Odd ratio but I’m intrigued. They’re having a conversation, one of the guys and one of the girls. Xavier is dead set on eavesdropping so I let him take the reins a bit.

“Why are you even still talking to her? What is the point? Anyways you’re in Canada! Canada Marie. You’re finally here and it’s not like you’re just stuck with us we’re gonna let you do your own thing but why? Just drop her?!” The guy is exasperated, stressing and clearly cares about this girl.

“I’m sorry Jake. I know. I’m really trying here-” she’s cut off by her phone ringing and her voice is like a night run after a good workout. Her voice was paradise.

“Don’t answer it.” Jake, I assume intervenes.

“Hey? You two good? It's you guys turn, we’re going to go find a table?” Of the other guys says turning towards the two.

Then they step forward and begin ordering.

“It’s her.” Xavier says with so much enthusiasm it’s hurting my scull.

“You sure?”

“Of course, I’m sure!”

----------------------------------------------------POV Marie-----------------------------------------------------------------------

“Thank you” I say to the barista who just made our drinks. Then we walk over to the table but I take note of the man who was behind us, tall, handsome and great hair and tats. He looked lost in thought as I walked past him. When we get to the table my brother sits next to Savannah and I’m next to Cole. On the end. They’re was definitely something about that man. His eyes felt familiar. But no time for thoughts when you’re surrounded by family right?

“Was it Aliveya?” Savannah boldly asks snapping me out of my enchantment and getting looks from all the guys. My eyes go to my drink, and I take a sip as I play with the straw.

“It doesn’t matter.” Jacob states.

“Right” I say chugging the iced coffee.

My phone is sitting on the table visible to everyone mostly Cole and I’m back to gazing and listening to them talk but I’m drawn back to that guy who was behind me. He’s intriguing to me. Drawing. Anyways my gaze doesn’t go unnoticed by the group because Cole leaned into my shoulder and told me I should go for it. I didn’t, I can’t. I’m me. Anyways about that time my phone starts to buzz and I quickly swipe it away and with the text comes the uproar and with that I’m going for another drink.

---------------------------------------------------------POV Charlie-----------------------------------------------------------------

She is definitely mine and it’s taking everything in me not to storm over to her table and take her now. But I can’t. For a few reasons number one she’s human she might freak out and then that can be a mess, right? Number two she’s young and it looks like she’s got a lot going on right at the moment and finally I don’t operate like that. We do this right. We didn’t wait this long just to fuck it up. Where our table is we have a spot where I can check her out without her noticing, she probably thinks I’m just watching outside or something whereas her, she doesn’t have that discreet of a position. She is dead ass just watching me. Which is kind of adorable not going to lie but it’s also funny because when the guy sitting next to her mentioned something I’m guessing about staring because they both looked at me and he waved she quickly turned her head. But then something happened, and she got up. One of the guys went to grab her, sending fire through me, but she just pushed his hand away and said something about a drink. Being in a place like this makes hearing more difficult even for the greatest ears.

My eyes and heart can’t help but follow this girl to the counter where she ordered a regular coffee. Zeke and I were sitting talking about the dream when she started walking by us to go back to her table.

And that is where it gets interesting.

Her phone vibrated she was standing right by our table and she stopped to check it whatever it said it didn’t sit well with her because her whole vibe changed. She put her phone up and when to walk again but quite frankly she looked a bit wasted for a minute. Then she kinda collapsed but didn’t? She staggered into our table accidentally and spilled coffee on both of us and herself. Then in like an instant she was looking at me with confusion and fear.

“Oh shit! I am so sorry!” the white button down she was wearing was now stained and she looked petrified and embarrassed. Most of the people there were wolves and being an alpha not many want to cause an issue. Her group was just in a bit of shock, I’m guessing this hadn’t happened before.

“Are you alright?” I ask not caring about anything else.

She looked over at her table and all the dropped jaws and the feeling of panic overflowed her. “I I can get you a new coffee? Buy you a new shirt or something?” Yep panic. But also, the realization that she basically tripped into a table and landed in a random guy's lap? And judging from her interactions with the people she was with she doesn’t do touch. I glance up at Zeke who is trying not to die of laughter at this scene, while I am trying to help her up before we have bigger issues than just hot coffee.

“Haevyn! What the hell are you okay? Excuse me and my sister, are you alright man?” This well-built average height guy with black hair is grabbing his sister and trying to get her up. It looks like fear is taking over so I try to do this cautiously but I kind of grab her elbow which is on my knee again its awkward positioning for anyone but anyways her shirt sleeve was rolled up more than I thought, and we both felt the spark. For her she probably rationalized it or something, but she definitely felt it because she jumped up and took off. For me it only confirmed she was the woman I'd been searching for.

“I’m fine, um is she?” I ask pointing to the gorgeous but terrified woman running out.

“Fuck. I’m sorry” The brother says and takes off with everyone following except one.

“Hey man, you good? Um sorry about that are you sure I can’t get you a new drink? I’m Ash by the way.”

“Charlie and nah man you guys have your hands full it’s all good.” I responded getting up and walking out with him and Zeke following behind.

We walked out and Ash walked over to his friends who seem to be in a bit of an argument over something. All in hushed voices but then someone takes a phone and throws it at the wall and she walks over and grabs it. Even from where I stand, I can feel the tension radiating from the group while Ash separates the brother from my mate. And they all load up and leave.

--------------------------------------------------------------POV Marie-------------------------------------------------------------

“YOU ASSHOLE! YOU BROKE MY PHONE! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU JACOB RONAN!?!”

“And you’re lying about a hell of a lot more than just if you talked to Aliveya or not!”

“What? What are you talking about? And what does that have to do with my phone!”

“You! In there! What was that? Huh! You fucking walked into the table it looked like you were completely out of it! I thought we had it to where we were talking about this shit now! Especially with a trip like this! You’re suppose to trust ME!”

“Alright, hey break it up. Bro. Take it easy why don’t you go with Cole, Savannah, Jesse, and Jonas and go out to the house and chill alright? Jackson, Bronimir, Tyler and I will take her back to her –

“You really expect me to just turn her loose after that?! Are you drinking again?! You lying about that too?”

“Enough bro! Lay off! I think that she should go to her hotel room and get some rest! This is a vacation not a doctor’s office! She’s got two whole weeks to have fun and explore so she just needs to rest right now! And you need to chill out! She’s a grown woman.” Ash says offering a hand off the ground. Then to the truck.

“Fine.” Jake says defeated, getting into the second vehicle, having not been given much of a choice.

The drive to the hotel is silent besides music the guys are listening to. Then when we get there, Ash walks with me to the room then he finally speaks.

“You know your brother loves you right? He did go overboard with breaking your phone but he loves you and he just wants to fix it. You gave us all a mini heart attack back there at the coffee shop. He’s definitely a lot but you’re his little sister and if those guys would have been dicks to you over that he would have been dragged out of there in handcuffs.” With that said he walks to the elevator and I go in for a bath and a nap.

I turned off all the lights leaving only the natural light in the room, set my clothes on the counter, took my meds, and then turned on my music on my shattered phone which started the teary mist as I drew the bath and stepped in. Sinking into the hot water, listening to music, and soon enough my own thoughts were drowned out by a dream as I fell into the dreamscape with the wolf…

------------------------------------------------------------Dream---------------------------------------------------------------------

I was running in a park back home. Then the wolf again but this time I ran right to him. Something told me he wouldn’t hurt me. His green eyes staring into my soul. But not in a bad way? He was standing guard almost. He wasn’t paying attention to me though not at the moment. I ran up to him, when I got closer I slowed to a walk and I couldn’t resist I had to touch his fur. And I did, I mean I was slightly scared but something told me it would be fine like I wasn’t about to touch a wild wolf right? Just a big fluffy doggo right? I stuck my hand out slowly exposing my initials and a few other tattoos on my left hand and a ring on my thumb. My hand landed on his head which was about my chest height, and his fur greyish black and so so soft. Like a pillow of brand-new fleece. I can’t help myself I just gently put both hands in his fur! He’s so freaking soft! He just turns and looks at me and I swear I hear him laugh a wolfy laugh but a laugh nonetheless. I hear a voice from a distance, I think. It’s definitely a man’s voice and it sends an exotic chill down my spine when I hear it.

“Xavier! We have shit to do man! Where- his voice trailed off and I lifted myself from sitting on my knees to standing on my knees by this wolf. I don’t know why it was so natural for me to be like this just hugging a wild animal. But I am so I go with it the voice is closer now and the wolf who’s name is Xavier? Is now back in a protective position.

“What are you- who is – she’s ours?” the voice is very powerful but gentle. I peek my head around my guardian and see the faceless man. He’s still sorta faceless I can make out his strong jaw but that’s about it. This man is a mystery to me. Yet still I feel like I’m okay to be around him. I want to know more.

“Ours? Who are you?” I ask getting up from the ground and crossing the short distance with Xavier at my heels. I get about a foot from the man, and something stops me. Like I just walked into a wall surrounding him. I stopped shocked and then tried again thinking I was making it up. I was stopped but the wolf was half by me and half near the man, one side of his face by me while the other was being petted by the hazy man. Who was now speaking to me?

“It’s okay, the wall is a natural barrier.” I stood there confused and asked

“Who are you? Why can’t I see your face? Oh no I'm having another breakdown, aren’t I?!” I begin to panic, and the wolf and man look as though they are talking to each other telepathically for a moment. Then he spoke, his voice was way deeper and more controlling. But still kind.

“You are not having a breakdown. You can’t and won’t be able to see my face until you know me in the real world. But for now, you can just call me Lycus.” The wolf was gone. Just the man and I now.

“This is a dream? Lycus? Are you some kind of demon or something? Should I be concerned?” I ask again beginning to panic though I shouldn’t right this is just a dream it’s not actually happening I’m in a different country!

“Um you’re thinking out loud Love.” I collapse on the ground in front of the wall unintentionally ripping the leggings I am wearing and scratching myself, I look back to the him as he continues.

“You are dreaming but not a typical dream one day you will understand but you need to actually rest.” Confused I push more.

“You never said you weren’t a demon? And what do you mean if it’s a dream I'm sleeping right?” He exhales deeply and then laughs

“You’re right I never said I wasn’t but that’s because to some, my kind are. As for the dream part its more of like a connection thing...” I interrupt

“What like some sort of magic or supernatural thing?” He sat down on the ground leaning against a tree.

“Yeah, something like that but not like witchy or anything it goes way different than that. More complicated. But anyways when you’re here talking to me you aren’t actually resting it’s like if you force yourself to dream. You never truly enter the rem cycle.”

“What happens if I fall asleep here?”

“Then you sleep, and that scratch don’t be surprised to have one when you wake up.”

“What did you mean ‘until I know you in real life’ how do we even know if we’ll ever meet?”

“We don’t but we can hope and pray right? Connections don’t just happen for nothing.”

“And Xavier?”

“He gets more freedom than I do when it comes to these things.”

“Okay, will I remember these?”

“Yeah, we both will they aren’t normal dreams, but they’re still just as odd.”

“Um, can you see me?” at this question Lycus takes in a sharp breath.

“Yeah, I can.”

“And? It feels like there's more to it? Was I not what you wanted to see?”

“No quite the opposite you are everything I could have wished for and more. Now do me a favor love?”

“Yeah?”

“Get some rest you need it.” With that Lycus disappeared and I lie under the sun in my mindscape or wherever I am and fall asleep deeply.

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smol-and-grumpy · 4 years ago

Text

Legally Yours - Ch. 26

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: Dean Winchester tops the list of hottest entrepreneurs 2020 and yet, there’s still something he wants but can’t have because, in order to get that, he would have to settle down and get married. She agrees too quickly because she wants to secure a more comfortable life for her and her daughter. Will she be able to help Dean get what he wants without losing herself in the fake story they spin up to deceive his father and the world?

Chapter Warnings: We’re still at the angst, because someone’s obviously still an idiot. We also might detect some jealousy.

WC: 4214

Beta’d by: @deanwanddamons <3

This series is complete on Patreon

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Five days later, she’s sitting in her kitchen, job application website open on her laptop while Bobby’s at work and Olivia’s at school.

The first night was hard on the girl. Olivia crawled into bed with her, spinning up tales that she missed her toys they left at Dean’s but she is sure that a part of the little girl’s heart is aching for Dean because hers is too.

Y/N hasn’t heard from him and it took everything in her not to shoot him a message and ask him how he’s doing. She’s fairly certain that if she would choose to go down that road, she’ll get weak and that’s against the new rule that she’s set up for herself in order to protect herself and her family.

Donna sent her a text when she arrived back at her old apartment, asking how her honeymoon was going and when Y/N told her that she’s back, Donna offered to come over. They sat around the tiny kitchen table with boxed wine between them, drinking and talking. Yeah, boxed wine. Over are the days of cheap bottles. Well, she reckons she could afford it with the money from the marriage contract but she’d rather not as she has a future to think about.

She didn’t sulk, didn’t allow herself to. She needed to be strong for Olivia and keep it all together. Her friend parted with a promise to help her find a man who she deserved. She only smiled. Couldn’t find it in her heart to say that she’s not looking for a man, that she thinks that Dean’s ruined her for all other men, that she’s most likely destined to be alone forever. At least she has Liv, and honestly, that’s all that counts. God, she’s so glad to have that little girl. She would have been broken beyond repair if it wasn't for Liv.

While she touches up her CV at the kitchen table where she poured her heart out to Donna the evening before, her phone starts to buzz next to her. Her heart jumps. She hates the buzz of her phone because she’ll always think that it could be Dean and when it’s not him, she will always feel so deflated. Somehow, she’s okay with the situation but a little part of her still hopes that he would change his mind and come back to her.

This time it’s no different when she looks at her phone. If anything, it’s even worse. Sam’s calling.

She debates on not picking up but decides that she has to because he’s probably calling about the annulment. It’s really the only thing left that keeps her tied to Dean on a contractual level, and after she signs that, it’s like the marriage never existed.

“Sam?”

“Yeah, uh, hi, Y/N,” The man can be heard on the other end. A little breath leaves him, and she can imagine that he’s smiling. Ever the friendly Sam. She can’t lie, she misses him too.

“You’re calling about the annulment?” She gets straight to the point. There’s really no point in stretching this out unnecessarily.

“Um, actually no. Dean’s not really talkative and he’s not going to sign it.”

“What do you mean he’s not going to sign it?” She doesn’t understand, has a hard time wrapping her head around it. Why did Dean still want to be married to her when she walked away from him? There’s no point in pretending anymore and she has made up her mind. The only way she’s going is forward and not back. She wants to move on.

“Don’t worry about it. He’s only been back two days, I need time to talk him through it. We should have the annulment finalized by Monday, I promise.”

“I trust you,” She says into the receiver, because she does. If someone can talk sense into Dean, it will probably be Sam. “How is he?”

“Do you want to hear the truth or do you want me to lie to make you feel better?”

“Lie.”

“He’s doing great.”

“That’s good.”

Sam snorts, “Well, I knew you'd feel better if you knew that he’s doing okay without you.”

“You’re right. I don’t want him to feel bad but somehow I also want him to, you understand?”

A burst of laughter rumbles on the other end, “I know,” Sam replies, “He’s a gigantic dick, Y/N. I think he knows that and he’s beating himself up for it. He’s been back at work for two days and according to Rowena, it’s hell. He doesn’t talk to anyone and if he opens his mouth, it’s to shout at people.”

“Wow, he’s coping well.”

The man laughs again, “Dean’s never been good at taking rejections. He’ll get over it, eventually. Someday. Maybe. Well,” Sam pauses and exhales loudly, “Tell you the truth, I don’t think he’ll get over it. I’ve never seen him like this and it scares me, hence me calling you.”

Y/N feels sorry for him. And there she thought that she was miserable without him. Somehow it gives her a little satisfaction to know that he’s doing just as bad, if not worse. Can anyone blame her to feel like this?

“I’m not going to go back to him just so that he’ll stop being an ass to other people.”

“That’s not what I was going to ask you about.”

“Ah, why beat around the bush, Sam. What is it?”

Sam sighs, “Okay, as you might know, Dean hasn’t told anyone that you two broke up.”

“Why am I not surprised?” She hopes Sam can feel through the phone how hard she’s rolling her eyes right now.

“Shush,” Sam scolds and continues before she can say sorry for interrupting him, “He has a charity gala to attend tonight, and it would be great if you would accompany him.”

The bark of laughter that leaves her mouth is hard to hold back, “You what?”

Sam’s not laughing, “I mean it, Y/N. He’s not doing great and he has to attend. Technically you are still his wife and you have a contract, so..”

“Oh, please, don’t come at me with a contract, Sam. Dean told me that I’m allowed to walk away. He said that he doesn’t need me to get the shares. He wasn’t the one stopping me when I walked out on him, so tell me, why should I do this? Why should I pretend when I don’t have to anymore?”

“Because you still care about him,”

Sam’s answer is a hit to her heart. She does. She cares so fucking much but also, that means that she’s not going to give in because it’s time to put herself first. She can’t hold herself together for Olivia’s sake when there’s nobody backing her up. She won’t go through this again.

Of course Sam’s on Dean’s side. He’s friendly to her but if Sam would have to pick sides, it would always be Dean’s.

“I’m sorry,” She says, her voice shaking a little. No, she’s not going to cry. Not again. Not anymore.

“Okay,” Sam relents too easily, “Can’t blame me for trying.”

“No, I can’t. Dean’s lucky to have you as a friend.” She means it.

“I’ll come to see you as soon as Dean signs the papers, Y/N.”

“Thank you.”

“Take care of yourself and Olivia, okay? And tell me if you need anything.”

“I will, Sam. Thanks.”

“Goodbye, Y/N.”

She hangs up before she can say goodbye. The phone drops onto the table and she’s back to burying her face into her arms as she sobs.

For the next five weeks, Y/N tries to avoid looking at tabloids pages, instead, concentrating on Olivia and helping to ease the little girl back into her old environment.

Of course there have been texts from Donna telling her that there’s no news from Dean, at least not with another woman. She knows that she shouldn’t care about it, because if he wants to date again, it’s his right, but somehow, she can’t help but feel the pinpricks in her heart. It’s not something bad but something good because it keeps her hopes alive for a while. After she was reluctant to answer Donna's text about Dean in the first two weeks, her friend has decided that she doesn’t want to update Y/N anymore. Which is also fine with her. The less she’s reminded of Dean, the quicker it will be to get over him.

She snorts out a laugh at that thought. Yeah, right.

Bobby has been weird the last two weeks too. He went out to meetings, saying it has something to do with his union but she knows that he doesn’t even have a union so she really doesn’t have any explanation for the two to three times the man went AWOL when he should be home but again, it’s nothing that should worry her. Bobby is still young enough to have his own life. She guesses that it has to do with a new lady friend maybe. Maybe Bobby’s being cautious too, maybe he doesn’t want her and Olivia to know when things aren’t steady with the two. She couldn’t blame him for thinking like that.

Tonight is the first time in over a month that she feels comfortable enough to leave the security of her own home. Perhaps Donna has something to do with it, begging her to finally go out and face the world, and Y/N can’t lie that Donna’s not right. It’s time to face it like a grown-up. She can’t be buried in her four walls forever. She eventually has to go out and socialize. She’s been going out a lot for interviews but that’s about it. No company has called her back yet, though. Thankfully, she still has more than enough money to get by.

As soon as she arrives at The Roadhouse and Donna sees her, the woman is quick to be by her side, “I have a surprise for you!”

“Oh no,” Y/N rolls her eyes, “I hate surprises.”

“It’s not bad, I just thought, you know,”

“Donna,” She warns her friend. Somehow, she doesn’t like where this discussion is going.

“There’s this guy, I invited him. He’s nice, so be nice, okay? He’s not going to be the love of your life, I know that too but you should put yourself out there, just a drink, okay? It will broaden up your horizon, maybe get your ex-husband out of your mind for a little bit.”

Jesus, Donna’s talking a mile a minute. She barely understands what the woman is raving on about.

“What?”

“There,” Donna pulls her close, points a finger to the booth where Garth is sitting with someone whose back is turned to her.

“Oh, Donna, no!”

“Why, Donna yes!” The blonde exclaims cheerily before placing her hands on Y/N shoulders and pushing her towards the booth. “His name is Cubbie.”

“Cub-what?”

“It’s a nickname, Y/N.”

“If that’s the nickname I don’t wanna know about his real name.”

“Cuthbert. Cuthbert Sinclair, if you wanna know. He’s a magician.”

“That’s great. Super.” Y/N groans and turns around towards the exit but Donna’s hand is firm around her shoulders, guiding her back to where Garth is already standing up to make room for her.

“Hey, Cubbie! This is Y/N, the woman I talked to you about.” Donna’s all smiles and somehow, Y/N’s hand itches to hurt her friend.

“I’m Y/N,” She says then. The only way is forward now.

Cubbie, still what a fucking weird name, stands up and his hands immediately go to her arms and pulls her closer to press a wet kiss on her cheek.

Ew. Oh no, this won’t end well.

Reluctantly she sits down, wonders how long she has to sit here until she can get up and leave without being too rude.

She lets him buy her a drink and he orders fries to share between them while they talk. It’s not exactly bad but they just share small talk about the weather and where they’re from.

“So, you’re a magician?” She tries to sound like she’s interested, wanting to get into the deeper conversational territory.

“Yeah,” Cubbie reaches over and strokes her hair behind her ear and when he sits back up, he shows her the coin that he apparently pulled out of her, a bright smile dotes his face. She does her best to resist the urge to roll her eyes.

“Good god,” She exclaims and the man laughs.

He goes on to tell her about magic, which she again, has no interest in listening to. Jesus, the man can talk. While she debates on maybe hurting herself with a toothpick to have a fucking reason to get out, Cubbie excuses himself to go to the bathroom but before he goes, he leans down next to her, “How about we’re doing a little disappearing act, huh?”

“Oh god,” She huffs out but Cubbie doesn’t get her blatant disinterest. He just smiles at her.

“Think about it, I’ll be right back.”

Good riddance, is what she wants to say but doesn’t. Instead, she smiles a faux smile.

While he’s gone, she takes out her phone, shooting Bobby a text that she’ll probably won’t be that long when he feels someone is taking a seat in the booth opposite of her.

“Back alread—”

The word won’t come out because it’s not Cubbie who’s sitting across from her but Dean.

He has a cap on his head, is dressed casually in a black t-shirt underneath a blue plaid shirt. There are faint black circles under his eyes. He has shaved off his beard but from the length of the stubble, she can tell that he’s in the process of growing it out again.

“C’mon, Y/N, seriously? That guy?” He asks, sounding offended, and honestly, it’s not what she really wants the first thing out his mouth to be after not being on speaking terms for over a month.

“It’s none of your business, Dean.” She snaps at him.

“You’re right. It isn’t.” He agrees, “What is he? An accountant?”

“He has a name and he’s a magician.”

Dean barks out a laugh and even though it’s mean, she can’t help but smirk with him.

“His name is Cubbie.” She adds, which earns another hearty laugh from Dean.

“Cubbie the magician?” He cocks an eyebrow.

“I don’t know if he has a stage name,” Y/N shrugs, “He asked me if I wanna do a disappearing act with him.”

“Oh, he will disappear, alright,” Dean growls angrily.

She can’t read him. Why is he here, why is he crashing her blind date? So she asks, “Dean, what is this? Why are you here?”

“I’m here every week to see if you’ll be here.”

“You know that there are phones, right?”

“Would you have answered the phone if I called?” He challenges her and she holds his gaze. He’s right, she probably wouldn’t, even if she was hoping that he’d call but she doesn’t think that she would have picked it up because she doesn’t know if her heart can take what he’s going to tell her over the phone. “Yeah, I thought so. How’s Olivia?”

“She’s good. She enjoys being back at school. She’s going on a field trip in two weeks and I think I’m going to go along to chaperone.”

Honestly, Y/N has no idea why she’s telling him that. Why she easily falls into a conversion with him about little things. But it feels easy, it feels like meeting an old friend. Someone where she can just pick up where they left off, even if they haven’t seen each other for a long time. Dean was her friend, she can’t deny that, and she guesses the reason why she feels at ease is that her heart can’t forget it either.

“I can do that, too,” Dean suggests without even thinking twice.

“Dean, she’s none of your concern, we’re fine without you.” Her words might be too harsh but he needs a reminder that not everything revolves around him.

“Great.” He mumbles as Cubbie comes back from the bathroom. The poor guy stands there and is a little irritated by Dean’s presence.

“You ready to leave?” Cubbie asks, straight up ignoring Dean’s presence and she has to give him that. It takes balls. Dean’s not someone who can be ignored. He’s tall and broad and yeah, awfully good looking.

She stands up, nodding her head. Even if she has no intention of going anywhere with Cubbie, she also knows that she can’t stay here with Dean.

When she walks away, Dean holds her back by her wrist. The touch of him is almost too much to bear and she stills, has to close her eyes as she tries to breathe evenly.

“You’re leaving with him? Seriously?”

Opening her eyes to look at the source of the voice, she can clearly see the irritation on Dean’s face.

Pulling her hand from his hold, she brings it close to her chest, fearing that she’d reach out if she let her heart decide over her mind, “It’s none of your business, Dean. You had your chance but you blew it. I’m trying to move on.”

Dean stands up too and he’s close. The warmth radiates from him. Her body betrays her a little, sways a little closer to him. Cubbie is a couple of steps ahead but he stalls and looks back, waiting for her to follow him out. She wants to, she really does, it’s just so hard to move when the magnetic pull of Dean wraps itself around her.

“Now, say it again a little more convincingly. Make me believe it.” Dean demands with a gruff voice while he crosses his arms over his chest, his palms nearly disappearing into his armpits, as if he too, has to resist reaching out to touch her again when it’s not what she wants.

How is it possible that he still can read her like a book? It’s not fucking fair.

She narrows her eyes, staring him down. “You’re an ass, Dean.” She hisses and pushes out of the door, past Cubbie. When she’s out, she flags down a cab and gets in. Only when the driver rounds the street of the first block does she realize that she left Cubbie at the bar. Great. Now the act with her leaving the bar with some date is even less convincing to Dean.

God, she’s a failure.

“You know he still cares deeply about you, right?” Donna flops down on Y/N’s worn out couch with a bottle of beer in hand and Y/N walks over to join her friend with her glass of red wine.

The incident at the bar in which Dean had held a metaphorical pissing competition against an oblivious Cubbie was four days ago. Almost a distant memory. She hasn’t heard from the magician, but also it’s not really surprising since they didn’t even exchange their numbers and Donna has not mentioned him again. At least there’s that.

She frowns for a moment, “Cubbie? He barely knows me.”

Her friend rolls her eyes to the back and takes a pull at the bottle, “Dean, dummy!”

“Yeah, well, he has a hell of a way of showing it.” She grumbles, burying her face into her goblet and tips it back to take a big gulp.

Donna admitted after the incident that she watched them with amusement. Poor Cubbie was standing there lost and sulked away on his own. Apparently, Dean grinned brightly, and god, just the image of him being so joyful and cocky about her misery makes her want to smack him across the face. But for that, she would have to see him again, which she won’t. Nope. Not going there. She can’t move on when he keeps popping up.

“You don’t see it, do you?” Donna tilts her head that’s resting on the back of the old faded sofa, cocking her eyebrow as she asks.

“See what?” Y/N eyebrows match her friend’s.

“Jesus Christ, Y/N!” Donna huffs out, followed by a giggle. Okay, the woman should definitely not drink any more beer, also since tomorrow is Monday and she has to work. Y/N for her part, is still struggling with finding a job that would keep her head above water. She’s debating on taking two lesser paid jobs but then again, there would be no time left to spend with Liv and since she’s making Liv her priority, she keeps on searching. The blonde lays her hand on Y/N’s thigh, squeezes it, “He’s so fucking in love.”

With knitted eyebrows, she glares at her friend. Dean? In love? Has that been obvious? She shakes her head, “That’s not what he told me,”

Her friend sits up straight and turns to her before taking a big swig of her beer and slams it onto the coffee table. Y/N gets irritated, shushes her friend with a nudge of her elbow. Liv is sleeping next door, and Donna usually knows that she has to be fucking quiet.

“Oops,” Donna says with a shrug, and they both freeze to listen if Liv has woken up because of the noise. When they don’t hear a sound, they both breathe out in relief. Yeah, there’s no chance Donna will get another beer from her tonight. The blonde grins at her. A grin that spells mischief, “Have you ever thought that Dean Winchester, a guy who’s never been in love might not know how it feels to be in love? Have you ever thought that he might be so fucking gone on you and tries to identify his feelings but he can’t because he doesn’t fucking knows what it is?”

God, Donna talks a mile a minute and Y/N’s brain is having trouble catching on and processing.

Her friend pauses to wriggle her eyebrows at her but otherwise, Donna doesn’t say anything because she waits until it settles.

Memories of the last day on the beach flashed in her mind. She recalls him asking her how she knows when you love someone and her answer was you just know.

Could it be that he was struggling then already? He probably was but she was too deep in her own mind that she didn’t really notice.

“No,” She answers.

“No, what?” Donna asks.

“No, I have never thought that he doesn’t know how it feels to be in love. But I mean, he’s loved his mother, right? He loves Sam to a certain extent. He’s a grown ass man. He should know how he fucking feels.”

“My god, your skull is thicker than I thought.” Donna rolls her eyes dramatically. “Loving a parent is not the same as loving a partner, duh! And with Sam. There’s the bro thing, I guess? They love each other but it’s just all caveman-esque grunting and a lot of back-slapping involved. It’s how I love you,”

“You love me while you grunt and slap my back?”

“Shut up!” Donna laughs, “Anyway, where was I...oh! Yes. Listen, Y/N, maybe you’ve been too harsh on him. I mean, yeah, of course, you have Liv to care about but don’t tell me that Liv was heartbroken when you brought her back to this place.”

She pulls her bottom lip between her teeth in thought. When she snaps out of it, she tips her wine glass back and empties it in one go.

Her friend watches her, pauses to let the things she said sink in. God, she doesn’t know why Donna’s only talking about Dean now. It’s been what? Almost two months. Where was Donna when she needed that kinda talk at the beginning when she left Dean? Donna was always here, her mind says, you just didn’t want to burden anyone and you thought that you could manage everything on your own.

“Fact is, Y/N. I’ve never seen him like this. He barely goes out, even if he’s invited to events. The gossip sites avoid him because he became a grump while picking up fights with photographers, and don’t even get me started on the last TV appearance where he only gave short, snappish answers, making the stupidly hot interviewer very uncomfortable. A couple of months ago, he would have charmed the woman and they probably would have fucked when the producer yelled cut.”

“How do you know they didn’t?” She asks, and she doesn’t even know why she asks because the thought of him hooking up and going back to being his old self does make her feel a little uncomfortable and admittedly, jealous.

“Honestly? Maybe because the interviewer told a tabloid that she refuses to interview Dean again because he’s a dick.”

“Well, he is a dick, she’s right.” She says drily, and she’s standing behind her opinion, it’s just now that Donna has said all those things that it makes her really wonder if she’s been too harsh to Dean. Maybe he just needed more time to figure out what he was feeling. But again, it’s too late now, isn’t it?

Ch. 27

Please share your thoughts with me, I’d love to hear your feedback.

#legally yours #dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x you #dean x reader #dean x you #dean winchester fic #dean winchester fan fic #dean winchester fan fiction #nathalie writes

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holylulusworld · 4 years ago

Text

One loose end

Summary: Dean ends things when he gets to know the truth about you. He didn’t realize he lost more than the omega he loves.

Pairing: Mobster! (Alpha)Dean x Ex-cop!(Omega)Reader

Characters: Sam Winchester, Benny Lafitte, Jack Kline, Charlie Bradbury

Warnings: angst, language, abandonment, Dean being a douche, mafia business, A/B/O, A/B/O dynamics, suffering omega, loneliness, unplanned pregnancy, threats, nesting

Dean leans back in his chair, legs spread he lets his eyes travel down your body, making you feel exposed and vulnerable. Forgotten are your strength or past when you face your alpha, the man holding your heart and body in a tight grip.

“Do you know why I summoned you here,” he’s using his alpha voice and you wonder why your fiancé looks angrily up at you. His green eyes darker than usual he licks his lips. “Answer me, omega.”

“I don’t know, Dean,” he growls, even grits his teeth as you did not address him with his presentation, and you wonder what rubbed Dean wrong. Usually, he’s all soft around you. Most of the time he only lets the alpha out to protect you or scare other alphas off. “Benny said I shall come to your office, so here I am alpha,” you add his presentation to calm the angry mobster. He’s not in a good mood so you try to walk on eggshells and make him feel better.

“You see,” he gets up, scraping the chair over the floor, making you flinch when he suddenly stands in front of you to roughly grab your chin with his hand. Dean forces you to me his eyes and you know – something is wrong with your alpha. “I heard not so nice things about you…”

“Boss,” Benny tries to intervene but Amara holds him back, watching the alpha, her boss with angry eyes.

“Not so nice things,” you huff, patting the hand which tightens the grip on your chin. “Whatever you heard, just tell me about it. I know we came a long way, okay. Not everyone liked that I’m an ex-cop. In your kind of business, I’m the enemy. But that’s in the past…”

“Is it?” Dean furrows his brows, still not letting go of your chin. “I heard differently last week. You know, I didn’t want to believe the rumors or the pictures. I even refused to watch the footage someone sent to me but the fact that you met up with Ellen Harvelle not three hours ago proved me wrong…”

“Ellen?” you blink a few times. “Yes, I met up with her, Dean. I told you so this morning. As usual, you didn’t listen but Sam was there too. Ask your brother,” you slowly get angry. People might think you are an obedient omega, always following Dean’s order but truth to be told, you’re a stubborn bitch when someone crosses a line.

“You met up with a goddamn cop,” Dean grasps for your phone, slipping it into his pocket. “I should’ve known better. Ex-cop, investigating my family and our business is in the past my ass,” your hands start to twitch when Dean pants into your face.

“You’ve got to be kidding me, Dean. Ellen retired around fifteen years ago. Right after her husband got killed. It was his partner; a corrupt cop and she just couldn’t trust anyone at her department any longer. My father was a good friend of Bill and Ellen. She’s my godmother for fuck’s sake.”

“A good cover, I must admit,” Dean’s nostrils flare and you know, he’s not making a bad joke. Dean Winchester, the head of the Winchester empire is threatening you, his omega. “Did they pay you well for being undercover for that long, for spreading your legs for me?” Your hand hits Dean’s face before your brain can stop you.

“I told you about my job, Dean. It was me coming to you, telling you about my assignment. I quit my job, gave up my friends who were all cops. The only person left in my left is Ellen, I told you so before we became a thing. You knew about her past too. She’s the only family I got left,” tears well up to your eyes but you blink them away.

The vulnerable omega whines in despair but the independent woman shields her from any harsh word leaving Dean’s lips. “If not for your connection to that woman, you would be dead by now.” You gasp, stepping backward. For a moment you just look at Dean, at the alpha you believed would claim you after your wedding but now you realize, he never intended on doing so.

“It was a trick,” you slide the engagement ring down your finger, carelessly dropping it to the floor. “You tricked me. When I came to you, telling you after that drunken one-night stand who I am you took the opportunity to snake your way into my life.” Laughing bitterly, you close your eyes, calming your nerves for a moment.

“That wasn’t my intention,” Dean grunts, not missing the tremble in your voice or the way your lips quiver.

“Newsflash, Winchester,” your eyes are cold when you open them again. “I’m not undercover. I don’t have any connections to cops or feds. All I got is a retired godmother who hates her former job,” you shake your head, not believing you were foolish enough to believe you found your alpha.

“I want you gone, now. I’ll drop your shit at any place but go before I change my mind and kill you,” the gun in Dean’s hands leaves no room for arguments so you turn your back on him, forget the good news and happiness.

“I hate you, Dean. For once I believed someone didn’t try to use me to his advantage. Sadly, I was wrong all over again. If I ever see you again, you’ll regret it,” you leave the room, flee toward the exit almost bumping into Sam.

“Y/N? What’s wrong?” Sam gasps seeing the tears run down your cheeks. “What happened? Wait…wait up…”

“Ask your asshole of a brother. Keep that piece of shit away from me or he’s dead…” you spat, pushing the omega you let out only for Dean back into the pit of your existence.

“Two months and you found a whole lot of nothing, Dean,” Sam leans against the wall, arms crossed over his chest. “Jesus, Y/N didn’t lie. Ellen Harvelle retired fifteen years ago, got a bar called ‘the roadhouse’ and doesn’t give any cop a discount,” Benny sighs, looking at Charlie who shrugs.

“Boss, I didn’t find any trace. No bugs, manipulated e-mails, calls to unknown numbers. I got nothing either,” Charlie clears her throat, shoving a manila folder toward Dean. “Ellen Harvelle is clean, just like her daughter. Y/N didn’t contact anyone but you, Ellen, your brother, and her doctor.”

“Doctor,” cocking a brow Dean looks at the folder. “Maybe that doctor is a cop?” Sam scoffs, pushing off the wall. He looks at his brother shaking his head before he turns to leave the room.

“Unbelievable, Dean!” Sam throws his hands up in surrender. “You chased the only girl who never cared about your reputation or money away. Your omega, Dean! How could you be that stupid?”

“She’s a traitor! I just know it,” Dean yells now, not giving in. “It must be or else I would’ve…”

“Yeah, lost the only woman you ever loved. You and your hasty decisions, Dean. I wonder if she would ever take your stubborn ass back,” Sam slams the door shut behind him, not caring his brother will be mad at him.

“Five and a half month later,

Most of the days are good days. Well, not good, but you get through them without crying or your instinct telling you to crawl back to Dean.

Today is not such a day. Today you stand in the middle of a shop for synthetic scents. “How can I help you, ma’am,” a young boy asks, and you wonder if he’s old enough to work at such a place. “I know I look young, but I know my job. I’m Jack Kline and would like to help you.”

“I need a scent,” you swallow the lump in your throat, slowly opening your coat. “My alpha, he left me. I’m an abandoned omega, a pregnant one. The first months I could get by without his scent, but it gets worse.”

“We will need a blood sample of you. This way we can find a matching scent to make you feel more comfortable, ma’am,” the young man smiles, pointing toward a chair. “It won’t hurt, promised. You are not the only one coming here. Even strong and tall alphas come her to get a scent.”

“I’m not ashamed, just…,” you shrug, not knowing how to describe the loneliness or how it feels to know your child will never get to know his father. Even worse, that you were simply a pawn in Dean Winchester’s masterplan. “Just tell me what I must do.”

“Hello, I’m looking for a specific scented candle,” an alpha calls for Jack. “My mate, she’s so in love with that scent…” Sam stops in his tracks when his eyes land on Jack who wants to push a needle into your arm. “Whoa, hands-off, bastard.”

Sam aims a gun at Jack’s head, unlocking it. “Get away from Y/N or you are dead before you can hurt her. How can you be that stupid to attack Dean Winchester’s mate in the middle of a store?”

“Sam,” you scream, jumping up to shield the boy with your body. “He wanted to take a blood sample, not kill me. Are you crazy?” you pant, resting one hand onto your belly.

“Y/N?” Sam’s eyes drop to your baby bump and his features soften. “You’re expecting. Oh-fuck, no. Does Dean know?”

“Why should the great and all-knowing Dean Winchester be interested in getting to know he got me pregnant with his child before he threatened to kill me. Let me tell you this, Sam Winchester,” you get your favorite knife out of your garter, pressing the tip into Sam’s chest. “If you tell him you saw me or the pup in my belly, you are dead. Now leave me alone. I need this scent…”

“You’re suffering, Y/N,” ignoring Sam’s words and his worried look you turn your attention back toward Jack. “Let me help you.”

“There is nothing you can do, Sam. It’s done. Whatever Dean and I had, is dead and gone since he threatened to kill me. I should’ve known he used me. No alpha wants to wait until the wedding to claim his mate,” you wave your hand, sending Sam off. “I’m only a loose end to your brother. If you excuse me now…”

“Not that bad,” you sniff at the pillow before you add more of the synthetic scent onto the clothes on your nest. “It’s not your fathers but it’ll do,” you rub your belly, watching one of your dog’s lie next to the bed. “Good boy, always so protective, Morning.”

Your German shepherd whines, before slowly getting up to trot toward the door. “Star,” you call for your dog when Morning dashes out of the room to attack whoever dared to enter your apartment.

“Get off me you son of a bitch,” Dean barks, fighting your dogs. Whilst Morning circles the mobster like prey, Star already sinks her teeth into his pants, tugging at the fabric, tearing it apart. “Y/N, tell the dogs to back off.”

“Morning, Star, kill him,” voice cold you cover your body with your blanket, ignoring Dean calls your name, begs you to stop your dogs.

“I will kill them if you do not stop them,” snarling Dean gets his gun out and you click your tongue. “Morning, Star, come here, protect mommy.”

“Fucking shit, Y/N,” Dean limps into your bedroom, glaring at the dogs who flank your bed. Teeth gritted, eyes following the alpha the German shepherds protect you and your unborn child. “Good dogs. Fine dogs. I got a steak in my trunk.”

“What do you want here?” you do not turn around, rather snuggle into your pillow to inhale the synthetic scent Jack gave you. “I thought I clarified you are dead if you ever come close to me again.”

“That’s my child inside of you. Now be good and pack your things,” Dean purrs, looking at you. He believes your omega will give in, will follow his order but you chuckle at his words, clicking your tongue.

“No…no…not again!” Star pounces on Dean, pushes him to the ground with her weight. “Y/N, please tell that beast to get off me.”

“Morning, give him the rest,” Morning trots toward Dean, purring for a moment before he starts to lick Dean’s face. “Yes, lick the falseness off his ugly face.”

“Eek, that’s disgusting. Tell the furry beasts to leave me alone. I’m still your alpha,” you snicker silently when you turn around to watch Star grit her teeth to attack your former alphas crotch. “No, please…shit…take that dog off me or I’ll shoot the beast.”

“Star, kill his manhood,” you smirk, watching Dean look at you in horror. “Do it slow, baby. He likes it when you tease him a little, take him deep enough to tickle my throat.”

CHOOSE YOUR ENDING UNDER THE CUT.

Bad ending…

“Y/N, I know I hurt you but please, give me the chance to explain that I made a stupid mistake. Please, I still love you and I want to raise my child with you,” Dean pleas but you are too hurt to ever forgive Dean.

“No, Dean. I gave up everything to be with you. I never even thought about betraying you. If you would love me, you…,” your voice cracks and you need to take a deep breath before you face Dean. “No one who loves his omega forces her to leave and threatens her life. I want you to go and never come back. To me you are only a loose end from now on…”

Alternative ending…

“You had your fun, sweetheart. Now tell the dogs to get off me,” you smirk, humming to yourself. “Baby? That wasn’t the plan!”

“It wasn’t yours,” you swing your legs out of the bed to kneel next to Dean, looking at your alpha. His face covered in slobber; pants ripped apart he looks up at you. “You know, when you told me you’ve got a rat in your organization and that you need to know I’m safe, I didn’t plan on spending months hidden in a shabby apartment, Winchester.”

“I found the culprit,” Dean points toward Star, whining when she opens her mouth, revealing sharp teeth. “Baby, please…”

“I don’t know, Dean. Seeing you so helpless underneath an omega makes me feel so good,” you smirk, sliding your hand over his chest. “I had to buy a synthetic scent, Dean.”

“It was for your safety, Y/N. Now let me get up and scent my omega. I need to have you back in my arms,” one click of your tongue later your dogs relax, even lick Dean’s face again. “No…fuck, …no…eek! I’m no food…”

——-

“So…,” you rest your head onto Dean’s chest, patting his thigh, “you found the big bad guy?”

“Girl,” humming you close your eyes, inhaling Dean’s scent deeply. “Sorry, I know that I promised to come back sooner. It’s been a hell of a month. I never thought it was Amara who rats us out.”

“I’ve missed you, is all. Why didn’t you tell Sam about the rat? Why only me?” you look up at Dean who gives you a soft smile. “Dean?”

“It had to look realistic. I needed the traitor to believe you are out of the picture and that I think you are the one who told the cops about our plans,” Dean pecks your hair, thankful he finally has you back in his arms. “Sammy is mad at me, though.”

“Figures, alpha,” you yawn, relaxing in Dean’s arms. “He’s your brother and wants you to trust him unconditionally.”

“This wasn’t about trust; it was about protecting you and not involving anyone else. Sam, he would’ve insisted on keeping an eye on you or to help me. I had to play my role well, get my brother and anyone loving you mad at me.”

“In other words, you made a hasty decision and didn’t want to stop when you realized it was a dumb idea. You know, in your office I wanted to rip your head off. It felt so real my inner omega was hurt,” Dean sniffles, looking at you.

“Tomorrow, I’ll bring you home. You and the two killers you call your pets,” you nod, wanting nothing more than to finally reunite with your alpha…

Tags in reblog

#One loose end #a/b/o #a/b/o dynamics #angst #dean winchester #dean winchester fanfiction #MOBSTER!AU #mobsterdean #mobster!dean x reader #mobster au #mobster!dean #mobster!dean x you #mobster!dean winchester x reader #alpha!dean winchester #alpha!dean x omega!reader #alpha!dean x reader #alpha!dean x omegareader #alpha!dean

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bustyasianbeautiespod · 3 years ago

Text

Episode 24 Transcript: Sigmund Freud Would Be So Proud

[intro guitar music]

G: Hello, my name is Grey.

C: And my name is Crystal.

G: And this is Busty Asian Beauties, the Supernatural commentary podcast where I, someone who has seen this show several times…

C: And I, someone who only knows the show through social media, discuss every single episode of Supernatural from start to finish. Also, we are both Asian.

G: So for today's episode, we'll be discussing Season 2, Episode 2: “Everybody Loves a Clown,” written by John Shiban-

C: Boooo.

G: - directed by Phil Sgriccia. Literally boo.

C: Also booo.

G: Phil Sgriccia- [sighs]

C: Phil Sgriccia is responsible for the Jo ass shot.

G: Yes, and also those shots where like, when a little person is on screen, like, it shows like, a height that is Sam and Dean's height, and then it pans down to show the little person, which is like.

C: Yup! Okay, Phil Sgriccia.

G: Oh, alright.

C: Alright, Phil. Thanks Phil.

G: Your favor has been revoked.

C: Yup. Do not email us, Phil. [both laugh]

G: Okay, so before going into this episode, what were your expectations for this one?

C: I knew that this was gonna be our first introduction to Jo and Ellen and Ash and The Roadhouse, and that presumably, there'd be a clown. And also, since this is right after John's death, we'd probably get Dean beating up the Impala at some point. I didn't really know much else, probably 'cause everything else in the episode, so no one wants to know and wishes never happened, ever. [G laughs]

G: Yeah. The extraneous stuff is good, but the case...

C: [audibly winces] It sure is.

G: Well, I guess the case is the extraneous stuff, so- but the case is- whatever. Who fucking cares.

C: [laughs] Who fucking cares.

G: Do you think the case was like, trying to say something about like, grief and...?

C: How?? [laughs]

G: I know! Like, why didn't they pick an episode case where, like, grief is front and center or something. Because, like, that's the whole point of the rest of the episode.

C: Right.

G: So why this-? why, like, the driving force mean absolutely nothing about it? Maybe the more we talk about it, we'll figure out the relevance of the case, but as of now, I don't see it. So.

C: I just- I think John Shiban just got dumped by a little person. [laughing] Like, that's what I think this about.

G: [laughing] Yeah.

G: First, we start with the “Then” sequence.

C: Yes, the best part of the episode.

G: Yes, this is the best part of the episode. Like, I don't know the song, but the song starts with like, you know, guitars, rock music, and then it slows down to just a beat. And the visuals follow suit, and it's actually really fucking entertaining to watch.

C: Yeah.

G: [laughs] Little did I know, this is the peak of the episode [C laughs], so.

C: Yeah. I think my favorite part was the visual parallels like, when they were cutting between like, John thrashing on the floor as Azazel left him and then thrashing as he's being defibrillated [G: The defibrillator.] Yeah.

G: Okay, so for the episode itself, we start in Medford, Wisconsin, in a carnival. So we see various circus acts, and then a couple of clowns entertaining a girl named Nora. We go around the carnival some more and see some more circus acts, and then the mother tells Nora that she's bound for her last ride, and then just then, in the corner, we and Nora see a creepyass clown. This cloud is very creepy. Certified creep. [C laughs] She waves hi to the clown, and the clown waves back, and Nora points this out to her mom, but when she looks there's no clown. And then the mom jokes that Nora is trying to scare her dad. And then we go to the car where they're driving, and the clown can be seen on the side of the road, and Nora remarks on it. Back home, Nora lies on her bed preparing to sleep, and she hears rustling. She goes towards her window and sees the clown in the front yard, so she goes downstairs to let the clown in. And the moment she holds the clown's hand, we see the splash screen. So we don't see the rest of that, right? And at first, I was like, "Are we gonna do child murder in Supernatural?" [laughs]

C: Right.

G: I didn't really connect the dots before, but somebody pointed out to me once that child murder in media is still taboo. And I was like, "Wait, you're right." Like, we don't really see child murder that much. When I saw the scene, I actually googled whether we see any children get murdered in Supernatural. Like, I know Dean's kid in season 7, "Slice Girls," like, Emma, gets killed, but she wasn't necessarily in like, a 12-year-old and below child's body. I don't think that counts as child murder, necessarily. But according to the Redditors in r/supernatural [C laughs], there are no child deaths in Supernatural, like, at least not on screen, so.

C: Yeah, that makes sense. Right, I thought there was gonna be child murder, but that the screen cut because they didn't like, want to actually show the killing-

G: A child getting murdered.

C: - and just a news article, yeah. Okay, you know what? I really thought that there was gonna be a reveal later that the clown creature, like, had cast some kind of spell on the kids to make them so friendly towards him, but like, no? Like, these kids are just seeing a clown sitting in their yard and being like, "Sure, come in, buddy!" [laughing] Who are you children?

G: But also, these children are not six years old. [in unison] They're like, 10.

C: Yeah. [laughs]

G: So the fact that they're letting strangers in, like, where you never informed of stranger danger as a child?

C: Exactly!

C: We are now in the woods at John's hunters' funeral. He's burning on a funeral pyre, and I know it's a sad scene, but it literally looks like they're cooking him.

G: [laughs] Yum yum!

C: Yum yum.

G: Is this legal, by the way? Like, it doesn't matter in the world of Supernatural, but like, if, for example, I'm like, "I want a hunters' funeral to honor my life as a Supernatural fan!"

C: Noo! [laughing]

G: Like, would that be legal?

C: Um, I guess... what would the illegal part be? Like, the fire?

G: It's the open air cremation.

C: Oh, right. Hm. I don't actually know.

G: I actually went on, like, the internets and looked up Department of Health regulations for cremation. And I learned absolutely nothing on whether it's legal or not, [laughs] but I did learn that cremation remains are called "cremains." [starts laughing]

C: No. [laughing]

G: They literally-! Like, in the pamphlet, they call it "cremains," and I was like, "This is amazing!" This is worth reading through this fucking pamphlet of funeral and cremation regulations.

C: Oh, yeah, in "Tombstone," Dean, sadly, "I scattered your cremains over that meadow." [both laughing]

Whatever, I'm glad whoever wrote that pamphlet had fun.

Sam and Dean are cooking their father and looking on very sadly, and their expressions, I think, set up the rest of the episode were Sam's quite teary-eyed and sort of shifting back and forth, and Dean is just like, staring like, completely solid-faced.

G: This is the beginning of his Blue Steel.

C: [laughs] Exactly, yeah.

G: Like, Sam is giving us full-on lamentation, you know. Regret, guilt, everything! And Dean's giving us fucking Blue Steel. [laughs]

C: Yup. Good for Dean. And also like, the camera spent so much longer on Dean, and like, it like, gives us a very like, straight on shot of him in the center of the frame with like, flames rising up. Like, we get it. Jackles can't act. Thanks.

G: He also does the single man tear this-

C: Yes! Yes. [laughing] Literally started singing as soon as that started happening.

G: Literally, a single man tear falls down his face and-

C: - he shows emotion without a trace.

G: Exactly! [laughs]

C: Right, so Sam asks Dean, like, "Before he... died, like, before that, did he say anything to you? About anything?" And Dean, not looking at him and also lying, says, "No, nothing."

G: I just also want to make a comment that I found it so interesting that in John's death, Sam is seen so visibly emotional. Because I know we get deaths later on where he is like, almost not even allowed to react.

C: Yeah, Mary's death? Like it's like, "Cas, no! Don't bother Dean! Dean's the one who's sad." [laughs] Like, "Who's Mary? I never knew her."

C: So it's a week later, and we're at Bobby's junkyard and Dean is working on the Impala. Looks better than last time, so good for him.

G: Looks incredibly good.

C: Yeah, he is under the car on a little slide-y thing. [laughs] I don't know what they're called.

G: Yeah, and he's showing armpit, baby.

C: [laughs] Yeah.

G: Like, not, like, flesh armpit, but like, you know, armpit sweat stain. And I was like, "Yum!"

C: Yeah, there's like grease on his gray T-shirt and I was like, "This is fanservice."

G: Yeah. It's literally fanservice.

C: Did Jensen Ackles have a Twitter- was his previous Twitter header like, this scene, or a different scene of Dean with the car?

G: No, I think it was a scene from season 10, actually of him like, standing over the Impala. I know it's from a later season because he's more built. Like, they de-twinkified my boy. [both laugh]

C: So Sam comes along. He's wearing like, this light blue polo, and I was so happy to see him, I kept cheering, I was like, "He's so cute, he's such a fashion icon. Thank you for the boat shoes vibes." [laughs]

G: He's wearing it over a gray shirt, and they're so mismatched. He's literally a fashion icon.

C: We get to see his nipples through his shirt in the last scene, and that's what's important. [G laughs]

G: Jesus.

C: [laughing] I love that this is the commentary we're bringing the good listeners of BABPod. Sorry.

G: This is what people tune in for.

C: So he asks Dean about the car and if he needs any help, and Dean's like, "What? You under a hood? I'll pass." And then Sam says, "Need anything else, then?" and Dean pushes himself out from under the car on his little slide-y thing, and he's a little upset, and he says, "Stop it, Sam. Stop asking if I need anything, stop asking if I'm okay. I'm okay, really. I promise." And Sam says, "Yeah, okay, but we've been at Bobby's for a week, and you haven't brought up Dad once." And Dean says, "You know what? You're right. Come here. I'm gonna lay my head gently on your shoulder. Maybe we can cry, hug, and maybe even slow dance." [sighs] Okay, Dean. Sam keeps pushing, and he says, "Dad is dead, the Colt is gone, and it seems pretty damn likely that the demon is behind all this." And I didn't know that they wouldn't know that John made a deal.

G: Yeah.

C: Like, they straight-up think that Dean just came back to life apropos of nothing, and that Azazel just killed John for funsies.

G: Yeah, that last speech was totally not telling that John was about to die at all, you know?

C: Right, yeah. He just told Dean like, "Oh my god, I'm so proud of you, son. Also, kill Sammy for me please?" Like, just for funsies. Like, he thought after that they would just hang out. Okay guys. Do you that they know and are just in denial about it?

G: I'm not sure if they know the concept of a demon deal right now. So maybe they don't because it's just not in their consciousness, the idea of making a deal with the devil.

C: But wouldn't Bobby know, at least?

G: Bobby- my theory is that Bobby does know, but he's just sparing the boys the hurt. So he's like, "Oh, it's none of my business." [laughs] Go Bobby.

C: Good for Bobby. Absolute king of not showing up on screen this episode.

G: Yeah, his spirit is around. I know, it's really nice that they have a place to stay now. Do you think Sam and Dean are like, messy in Bobby's house?

C: Oh, you mean like, they're like, leaving their dirty dishes in the sink.

G: Yeah, like, these two have never had a permanent home. Like, Dean after four years old and Sam like, pretty much after six months of his life. So like, how- what are they like in Bobby's house? I want to know the dynamic. Like, I want to know the schedule that they have built in Bobby's house.

C: Yeah, so do I. I'm assuming we don't get any like, scenes of them all, like, sitting down to dinner or whatever, right? 'Cause I would have seen that in an AMV.

G: I would have remembered, I feel like.

C: Yeah. I hope that Bobby makes them do the dishes sometimes.

C: Sam says, "Say something, alright? Hell, say anything! Aren't you angry? Don't you want revenge? But all you do is sit out here all day long buried underneath this damn car." Dean goes, “Revenge, huh?" And then he's like, going on sarcastically, "Sounds good, you got any leads on where the demon is? Making heads or tails of any of Dad's research? And if we finally do find it... oh, wait, the Colt's gone. We've got nothing. The only thing I can do is work on the car."

G: RIP.

C: RIP. What do you think about Sam's, like, feelings about revenge here?

G: I think in his mind it's less revenge for Dad's death, it's more just like, "Let's finish the job," you know. I think when he brought up revenge, he was just trying to rile Dean up, and less like he actually believes that it's something that they should do.

C: Yeah, agreed. Especially since, you know, this whole episode is him going like, "Oh, I'm gonna do this because that's what Dad would have wanted," like revenge is definitely what John would have wanted. And, especially since, like, their last- one of their last conversations was John going like, "If you'd just shot the damn demon, then we wouldn't be in this mess." Like, Sam I like, I'm so guilty about fighting with John right before he died, so I'm just gonna shoot the damn demon so we can be finished with this mess.

Sam says that "Well, we do have a clue. I like, found one of Dad's old phones, and I got into his voicemail." And we hear a voicemail from Ellen saying-

G: Whoo!

C: Whoo! Hi Ellen! [laughing] I am separating the character from the actress right now.

G: Oh, what did- what did she do?

C: Samantha Ferris, right? I mean, I think it was-

G: Is this purely the bait during Valentine's Day? Or did she do other things?

C: I think she's just been like, conservative-ish on Twitter in general.

G: Ohh. I mean, [laughs] Supernatural, the entire show is an exercise on separating the actors from the character.

C: Yeah. Jesus fuck.

G: The only time I can't do that is, like, fucking Lucifer. Like, Mark P, get the fuck out. I fucking hate you, I hate your character, I hate everything that you contribute to the show, so. You know, like, when I make AMVs, for example, and there's like, a Mark Pellegrino, like, face in the shot, I strategically cut it so that he never shows up. [both laughing] Like, I hate him so much. Fucking hate him.

C: That's so good. That's so good. Yeah, I've also seen AMVs where people just blur his face every shot he's in. [G laughs]

G: That's so good, I should try that next time.

C: Yeah, so Ellen says on the phone, "John, it's Ellen. Again. Look, don't be stubborn, you know I can help you. Call me." And apparently, that message is from four months ago, and Ellen is not mentioned in the journal, but apparently, Sam ran a trace on her phone number and gotten an address. He's so smart, how do you do that?

G: Literally what the fuck does that mean? What does that mean?

C: Yeah, that means nothing, but cool.

G: Like, literally nothing.

C: Yeah, well they mentioned they're borrowing one of Bobby's cars to go over there.

G: Yes! And the car that they borrow is the creakiest, most rusty van possible. Sam and Dean are, you know, are driving the van, and they drive towards a building that says Harvelle's Roadhouse up top. And when they get out, they banter a bit about Dean feeling like a soccer mom, and they start looking around. They walk into the Roadhouse; it's open.

C: And business is not going well! I don't know how they keep the electricity in there.

G: Yes. So they look around, and they see a guy sleeping in the pool table. They look around some more, and Sam enters a room. Dean is just walking around when we see a rifle slowly come in contact with his back. He says, "Oh, god, please let that be a rifle." And the camera pans towards the girl behind him holding the rifle. It's Jo!!

C: Jo!!

G: Hi Jo! She tells him not to move, and then Dean says, "Oh, you should know something, miss. Don't put a rifle right up someone's back because it makes it really easy to do..." and then he turns and grabs the rifle and cocks it and says, "That," you know. And Jo fucking punches him in the face, so. [C laughs] Where's your cool now, Dean?

C: Yes. Thank you, Jo.

G: Dean calls out to Sam, and all the while he's whispering to himself, "I can't see, I can't see!" Sam gets out of the room he was in earlier with his hands behind his head, and he says, "Sorry, Dean. I can't right now, I'm a little tied up." And Ellen is right behind him with a gun.

C: Hi, Ellen!

G: Hi Ellen. Ellen goes, "Sam? Dean? Winchester?" And the two go, "Yeah." And Jo asks if Ellen knows these guys, and she says, "Yeah. They're John Winchester's boys!" She laughs and then puts her gun down and goes, “Hey, I'm Ellen! That's my daughter, Jo." And Jo says, "Hey," and Dean cracks a "You're not gonna hit me again, are ya?"

C: What I want to know is, do they do this with every customer who enters the Roadhouse? [G laughs]

G: Like, what if Sam and Dean were literally just some guys trying to find some shelter in the middle of a hotass day, you know?

C: Is there, like, a secret code or certain hours during which, like, hunters are aware that the Roadhouse is open? Like, I don't understand how business operates.

Ellen is handing Dean some ice for his nose, and he asks about her voicemail. He says, like, "You said you could help. Help with what?" And Ellen says, "Well, the demon of course. I heard he was closing in on it." Dean's like, "Was there an article in the Demon Hunters Quarterly that I missed? Like, how do you all know about this?" And Ellen says she just runs a saloon-

G: Rather poorly, I say.

C: - but hunters pass through a lot. Yeah. Sorry, Ellen.

G: Who am I to judge someone else's business strategy? [laughs] Like- the only business I have is a podcast. [C laughing]

C: I'll have you know that 7 whole people came to our YouTube Premiere.

G: [laughs] Exactly!

C: So she says, "Your dad also passed through, a long time ago. John was like family, once." [laughs] Looks off into the distance.

G: And I know the context of what-

C: Oh yeah, I know, it's 'cause he got Ellen's husband killed 'cause he sucks.

G: Yes, yes. But there is like, a hint of like, "Oh, is John and Ellen a thing?" going on in this scene.

C: Noo. [laughs] Yeah.

G: I mean, there is! There is! What do you mean, no?

C: There is. Yeah, there is. Sam mentions it too.

G: Yeah, Sam acknowledges it later. It's so selfish of John- I understand that he's guilty about getting Jo's dad killed, but like, why deprive Sam and Dean of this kind of company, you know? Like, Ellen looks like a good adult figure, maybe, for young Sam and Dean, and Jo is someone who's a little bit younger than them but is, you know, also their age, just in general.

C: Yeah. She's 21 in this episode, so she's a year younger than Sam.

G: Yes. I looked it up as well. She's a few years younger than Sam. So, you know, like, Sam could have had a friend with Jo. It's another way that John has isolated them, I feel like. Apparently, they have this entire hunter gathering communal area, and Sam and Dean just don't know. Like, that sucks.

C: Yeah. And see, I would get it if he was like, trying to keep them from being too enmeshed in the life, but he is sending them on hunts and forcing them to hunt so that's not it. He's just being a dick.

So they keep talking, and Dean asks like, "Why do we need your help?" And Ellen says, "If you don't want my help, fine. Don't let the door smack your ass on the way out. But John wouldn't have sent you if..." And then there's a long pause where everyone looks very sad and uncomfortable, and she realizes, "Oh, he didn't send you. He's alright, isn't he?" And Sam says, "No, he isn't. It was the demon, we think. It just got him before he got it, I guess." And Dean says, "It's okay. We're all right." And Ellen goes, “Really? I know how close you and your dad were." Do you think John talked about Dean a lot like, at the bar?

G: I mean, it's implied that he mentioned his sons enough for Ellen to recognize their names, so.

C: That's true. But it seems- like, because she has that specific line, I guess I'm wondering if John mentioned Dean a lot more. I've definitely- I've enjoyed the Samfan theories that John kept Sam away from the hunter community because he thought that eventually, after Sam's powers manifested, the other hunters would try to just straight-up kill baby Sam.

Dean says, "Really, lady, I'm fine.” RIP.

G: Can we give him a point? Can we give him a point?

C: Yes. Yes, yes. I'm pulling it out.

G: I was like, "Send his ass to hell, I don't fucking care. Why is he calling this woman 'lady' so terribly? Like, with such a terrible tone?"

C: What a man, what a man. [laughs] Alright, Dean’s gotten one misogyny this season so far.

G: From John Shiban, of course.

C: From John Shiban, of course.

So Sam says like, "Yeah, we do want your help," and Ellen says, "Well, I can't, but Ash can." And she wakes up Ash who's passed out on like, the pool table or something.

G: Yes.

C: Yeah, what a king. And Jo says, "He's a genius."

G: So Sam slams down a folder on the table and Dean says to Ash- or to like, the world, I guess, about Ash, he says, "This guy's no genius! He's a Lynyrd Skynyrd roadie!" Is that how you pronounce it? Lynyrd Skynyrd?

C: I think it's Lynyrd Skynyrd.

G: Yeah, Lynyrd Skynyrd. I know these guys to because [laughs] well, one, they sing "Sweet Home Alabama" which is, you know, it's a famous song. Two, they sing "Simple Man," which is a song that [laughs] Jensen Ackles-

C: No.

G: - sings a lot during like, conventions and shit. [C screams] Don't ask me how I know, but I do know, and he sings it a lot, so.

C: Well, I mean, to clarify, Grey has never been to a convention. I think we do need to the clarify that.

G: Oh, yeah. No, I'm literally in the fucking Philippines, you'd think I'd go to the fucking US to go to a fucking convention?

C: [laughing] Well, that's why it'd be embarrassing if you did, so we really have to make it clear that you didn't. [G laughs]

G: Yeah. Like, if I fly to the fucking United States of America, I am doing other things other than going to a Supernatural convention, like, just to clarify.

C: [laughing] Yeah, like, we can experience homophobia at home, no need for plane.

G: [laughs] Yeah. Literally at home.

G: Ash says to Dean, "I like you," and Dean says, "Thanks."

C: There's definitely Dean/Ash undertones in this episode, right?

G: Yeah, a lot of it. A lot of it.

C: Like, I feel like, they totally have like, a "Dean dealing with his emotions badly" hookup, like, some time offscreen.

G: Definitely. Jo says, "Just give him a chance!" And then we linger on Ash making a face and Dean making a face, and I was like, "Okay, alright, [laughs] this is happening." Dean hands over the folder, and Ash starts scarring through the papers, and then he says, like, "This crap ain't real! Ain't nobody can track a demon like this!" And Sam says, "Our Dad could." Ash relays that these are- you know. He says things. He says words.

C: I don't think that- [laughing] I mean, I've only taken introductory data science classes, but this doesn't- I don't think that "These are non-parametrics, statistical overviews, prospects and correlations" means anything as a sentence. [G laughs]

G: But basically, what he's saying is John has a record of signs and omens, so like, electric storms, cattle death, just like John mentioned before, and that if you track these omens, you will be able to track the demon because they come right before the demon comes. Sam asks if Ash can do it, i.e. track the demon, and Ash says, "With this? Yeah, I think so. Give me... 51 hours?" And then he starts to walk away. And Dean calls out to him and says, "Hey, I dig the haircut." And Ash has a mullet. So for the uninformed, Ash is a mulleted man. Not the K-pop mullet that is very famous right now. Like, it's a mullet mullet. And Ash says his iconic line of, "Business up front, party in the back." Go Ash!

C: Why did Dean say that? Like, was he just making fun of him.

G: Like, it's supposed to make fun of Ash?

C: Yeah, I think so too, but it's such a good mullet! [laughing] And also, like, Dean totally wants in his pants, so I'm just not reading it like that. [G laughs]

G: Yeah.

C: Ugh. Society if Dean got a mullet.

G: I'm sure there's fanart of that.

C: Now Sam is talking to Ellen and he sees a folder that says like, "Murder" on it. [laughs]

G: It literally says "murder" on it.

C: Yeah. [laughs] Like, no wonder no one comes to your bar, Ellen! Also, it- the outside of it, it looks a lot smaller on the outside, right? I just feel like all the outside shots of the Roadhouse, it looks like a very small building.

G: It looks way bigger on the inside.

C: It's the TARDIS!

So she shows him a bunch of newspaper clippings about the murder that we sort of saw in the beginning, and apparently, the couple was murdered, and the child was left behind in Medford, Wisconsin.

Meanwhile, we get Dean and Jo, and we find out that Ellen got into this stuff from Jo's dad, who was a hunter. Dean tells Jo that he's sorry about her dad's death, and she says, "It was a long time ago. I was just a kid. Sorry to hear about your dad.” And then Dean- [sighs] [G starts laughing] Bro. Bro. Bro.

G: [laughing] He's such a loser!

C: Just from a logical standpoint, like, you don't want to get kicked out of the bar for fucking the owner's daughter when you're relying on Ash to get the demon stuff. Like, just putting aside anything else, like, just from a strategic standpoint, this is a bad call.

He says, "So, I guess I've got 51 hours to waste. Maybe tonight, we should uh..." Bro. Dean.

G: He's such a loser!

C: He's such a fucking loser. [laughs] Jesus Christ. And he looks at Jo and then he goes, "You know what? Nevermind." [both laughing] Same fucking energy as Sam telling Lori, "Sorry, I can't kiss you; I'm too sad about my girlfriend's death." Dean's like, "If my dad hadn't just died I would be all over that, baby, but unfortunately he is dead."

Jo says, "What?” and Dean says, "Nothing. Just a wrong place, wrong time.” And Jo says, "You know, I thought you were gonna toss me some cheap pickup line." And he was, Jo. He totally was.

G: He literally was.

C: I don't know why you think that he's better than that. He's not.

G: I think I actually read this as like, Jo was being sarcastic. Like, "Oh, I thought you were gonna toss me a pickup line, some guys come in here with a six-pack-"

C: Oh, "But not you." Yeah.

G: "- and side 2 of Led Zeppelin, but not you." And like, it was supposed to be like, a dig at him actually about to have done that.

C: Yeah. Right.

G: 'Cause Dean's face looks like he got caught.

C: Right, yeah, that's true, that's true. I guess it's just 'cause she seems like- because she's like, receptive to his like, advances later, so like, I was like, "I don't really know what's going on in her brain."

G: I mean, I get that Jo is into Dean. Like, Dean, is a handsome person, so.

C: [sighs] Oh my god.

G: [laughing] What? Like, from a logical standpoint- I don't know if this is logical. It's not logical like. But from a standpoint of like, "a good looking guy enters your Roadhouse and he, like, propositions you, and he's like, 'No, but I'm too sad. [C laughs] I'm too sad to fuck right now.'" You would be like, "Aww."

C: Yeah, I could see how you could poor little meow meow-ify that situation. [laughing] Jo wants to like, put Dean in a nightlight and shake him around like a can of Pringles.

Yeah, she says, "Most hunters come through that door think they can get in my pants with some pizza, six-pack, and side one of Zeppelin IV." And Dean goes, "What a bunch of scumbags! Ahahaha." [laughs] And Jo goes, "But not you!" And Dean says, "I guess not."

So Sam calls Dean over to check out the case, and Sam tells Dean that there have been a few murders near here, and there might be hunt, so let's go check it out.

G: So Sam and Dean are back in the van, and they're driving towards Wisconsin. Sam relays what we learned earlier, which is that, you know, a clown went inside the house, and what happened afterwards was that the clown killed both the parents but left the daughter unharmed. The way he killed the parents was that you ripped them to pieces.

C: So I was thinking about what you said about if the case had anything to do with grief. And you know how they could have made the case good?

G: Yeah.

C: By having them interview the kids and have Sam connect with this child who feels guilty for her parents' deaths!

G: But I feel like that would be too in your face.

C: [laughing] But it would be better than this! Also, like, season 1 was full of in-your-face mirrors. Like, I think we can carry that energy through a little more.

G:Dean asks how they know this this isn't just a guy in a clown suit, and Sam says that all the clowns in the carnival earlier that day have alibis. And the girl actually said she saw the clown vanish into thin air. And Dean like, teases Sam, and this is when we know that Sam is afraid of clowns. Sam says, "Well, at least I'm not afraid of flying," and Dean says, "Well, planes crash," and Sam replies, "And apparently, clowns kill!" [C laughs] Sam proceeds on, saying that in 1981, there was a similar case with another circus. The circus is called the [in unison] Bunker Brothers! [both laugh] Sam and Dean are literally the bunker brothers. Back when that carnival was going around, that kind of murder happened three times in three different locales. Dean says, like, the different locales thing is weird because usually, ghosts stay put. And they think it's probably a cursed object. Dean comments on the fact that Sam jumped on this case real quickly, and Sam says, "Well, it's what Dad would have wanted. He would have wanted us to get back on the job." And Dean says, "Wow. Like, what Dad would want us to do?" And Sam says, "Yeah, so?" And Dean says, "Nothing."

C: I'm not really sure what Dean is thinking. Like, I know what Sam's thinking. He's guilty and he's just, you know, following John's wishes. I don't know what Dean's thinking.

G: Yeah, Dean is probably thinking that Sam either is guilty or that Sam wanted him to go out of Bobby's house. Sam is trying to drag him around. But either way, like, he thinks there's a hidden agenda happening, so that's why he's side-eyeing Sam.

C: Yeah.

C: So we're back at the carnival. We're at the funhouse, and there's some kid and his dad. He's not paying attention 'cause he's just like, playing a video game. So true, me too. And the dad's trying to get him excited about the situation, but he's not. But then, the boy looks up and sees in the reflection of the glass, the creepy clown waving at him. And he turns around, and the clown's gone. And then he's scared, but his dad says, "Don't be afraid of clowns. They're nice. They're your friends. Okay?" [laughs] This man's gonna regret those words so hard.

So it's at night, and it's Evan's parents bedroom. They're asleep. And Evan wakes his dad up, and he says, "You were right. He is my friend!" And the camera pans over to see the clown's hand holding Evan's. And it smiles at his parents, and the dad screams.

I think that was a good reveal. The pan over and the "You were right, he is my friend." Yeah.

G: - the hand. I actually was like, creeped out!

C: Yeah, me too.

G: Like "oh my god, that's kind of creepy."

C: Yeah, it was a good- the pacing was done quite well. But I also think it's so funny that since the clown was in no way able to influence these kids at all, like, Evan wouldn't even have let this guy in. He would have just been scared of him unless his dad said one sentence.

G: Okay, we get to the- [starts laughing] [C groans] Okay. So.

Sam and Dean drive to the carnival, and in the corner, they see, like, a couple of cops talking to some people. So Dean checks it out and Sam is waiting. Like, standing by a ride. And Supernatural does this thing where Sam- where a little person comes across the screen, and Sam is looking at her, right? And he's really looking at her. Like, he's fucking staring. And we zoom in on Sam's face, and then we zoom in on her face, and it's a whole thing.

C: Yeah.

G: And I was like [laughs] Supernatural, like, have you ever seen a little person before? Sam Winchester, have you ever seen a little person before? It's just- it's- I don't know. Was 2006- 2006 was a different time, but like, little person like, exist in the world, they don't just exist in media. Like, you see them around.

C: I- yeah, I guess the charitable reading would be that since she's in a clown outfit, he was trying to figure out if she was involved in the case, and also, he was scared of her because she was in a clown outfit, but like, I think Supernatural's just being fucking weird.

G: I think that is the charitable reading.

C: Right, 'cause at first I thought that's what was happening, 'cause I was like, "I don't understand what's happening; it must be because she was a clown outfit." And then I was like, "Oh, wait, Supernatural sucks. Nevermind." [laughs]

G: Anyway, Dean comes in and asks Sam, like, "Oh, did you get her number?" And then Sam, I don't know, makes a face, I guess?

C: Should I make an ableism tab on my spreadsheet?

G: [sighs] Are we, like, the people?

C: I don't know. Yeah, probably not. Is this also misogyny, though?

G: I feel like the source of the-

C: It's mostly ableism, I'd say. Yeah.

G: So, like, BABPod listeners, we're not gonna make a tally, but know that we see it, and we did not enjoy it. [laughs]

C: Yeah.

G: Like, we will acknowledge it when it happens, so. But I just don't think we're the people specifically to be making this kind of call, I guess.

C: Yeah.

G: Okay, so Sam ignores that and asks about the murders, and Dean relays that there were new ones last night, the one we just saw. Dean says that "They had a little boy with them." And Sam says, "Who fingered a clown." [C screams] And then Dean takes a pause so we can laugh, I guess. But it's just- [laughing] it's not a funny joke! Like, I'm laughing right now because you're laughing-

C: It's just so weird.

G: - but like, when it actually happened, I had to replay it because like, I didn't get it. Like, I didn't get what was happening, so I had to replay it, and it was like, "Oh, okay. Do you think this is funny, John Shiban?" [laughs]

C: I don't- doesn't fingered also mean something else-?

G: Pointed at. It means pointed at. Like, that's what he means.

C: Yeah, okay, okay, right, so John Shiban just thought it would be funny to have the- yeah, okay.

G: I was confused.

C: I didn't laugh when it happened, but when you read the line, I like, [laughs] was like- it was just a funny sentence on its own, you know?

G: Dean confirms that there was a clown, and Sam starts talking about how cursed objects are like finding a needle in a needle stack, which I thought was a good metaphor for the situation. And Dean says, "Well we just have to check everything for EMF." And Sam scoffs, but Dean says, "Well, we'll blend in." And they zoom in on a sign saying, "Help Wanted: Inquire with J. Cooper." [laughs] You take this part, Crystal. [laughing]

C: Okay. [sighs] So this is- this sure- this is a scene that is about to happen. Yes, okay.

C: So we go into a tent, and there's a man wearing sunglasses throwing knives at a target, and they all land pretty close. And Dean says, "Excuse me, we're looking for Mr. Cooper. Have you seen him around?" And the guy turns around and says, "What is that? Some kind of joke?" And he takes off his sunglasses, and his eyes are cloudy, and Dean says, "Oh god, I'm sorry." And then the man continues, saying, like, "You think I wouldn't give my eyeteeth to see Mr. Cooper? Or a sunset? Or anything at all?" Sam is amused by the situation. And then another little person - not the one from before - comes in and says, "Is there a problem?" And the blind man - because he doesn't get a name in this episode, and so I guess that's just what we're calling him - says that "This guy hates blind people," and the little person says, "What's your problem?” And Dean says, "Nothing, it's just a little misunderstanding,” and the little person says, "Little? You son of a bitch!” And then Dean is just like, “Sorry, sorry, just please tell me where Mr. Cooper is, please?” So that's the scene. Okay. [laughs]

G: Yeah, okay.

So I've mentioned it before in the podcast but not in detail, but I'm also not gonna mention it in detail here just because I don't want to air out my health conditions, but I have a pretty visible health condition, right, and people like to make jokes about it, you know? And then, when you like, get defensive, they they do the whole like, "Why are you defensive?" bit or something. And like, I've experienced it both in real life and also like, I have watched like- like, I would be innocently like, watching a TV show and the TV show like, makes a joke at like, people like my people's expense, and it's like, "Oh, well, that sucks!" And it's incredibly humiliating. So like- and even then, like, even with that background, like, I can't imagine, like, the kind of humiliation that, like, for example, if you're a little person, and like, seeing this scene. Like, I just did not find it funny.

C: Yeah.

G: Especially the camera work, I guess. Like, they're- the part where like, they hear a voice, so they turn around, and the camera pans to Sam and Dean's height, and then it pans down just to show you that, oh, they're talking to a person who is short. And it's like, a part of me, like, when I was watching I was like, questioning like, "Am I overreacting?" right?

C: No. You are not.

G: 'Cause a part of me was like, I've had experiences of like, feeling humiliated by a medical condition. Because of that, is that the reason why I'm like, projecting into this? But I don't think so. I get that like, people are allowed to joke about everything, you know [laughs]. I don't want to be the person who's like, "People are not allowed to joke about this, this, this, this, and this." But because, like, we just see little people in this episode twice, and both times they like, highlight that fact, you know, about them.

C: Yeah, make a joke at their expense.

G: Yeah. It really frustrates me. It really frustrated me. And I physically had to stop watching because, like, I was like, so upset and like, I had to drink water to calm down.

C: The scene is also incredibly tonally jarring.

G: Yes.

C: Like, it does not fit the rest of the episode at all and it does pretty much nothing in the plot besides, I guess, introduce us to the blind man as a character, which could have been done in literally any other way. And- but also, the whole thing just played out like a comedy sketch on like, a right-wing TV channel about how the liberal snowflakes get offended by everything.

G: A part of me was like, "Did they ADR in Sam laughing because they realized the scene is not that funny [C laughs], so like, we have to have someone laughing in the background to convey to the audience that, like, 'No, you're supposed to be laughing here! Like, this is supposed to be a funny scene!'" It's just- it's not a good scene.

C: Well, that was.

G: It's there!

C: That sure happened on Supernatural.

C: Okay, so they go into Mr. Cooper's office, and he tells them to take a seat. There are two chairs available, and one has like, a giant clown on it. So Dean grabs the non-clown chair, and Sam, like, takes a second before he sits down in the clown chair because it scares him. [laughing] And I wish that this was a cursed object episode, both because it means that we wouldn't have cultural appropriation later, also because I really wanted the cursed object to be the clown chair.

So Mr. Cooper tells them that there's been some local trouble because a couple of folks "got themselves murdered." Deancore. [laughing] "You always have a choice! You can either lay down and die, or you can keep fighting." So he asks about their work experience, and they're like, "Oh, yeah, we've totally done the circus. We did all of the jobs, all the circus jobs, yeah!" Dean says, "We really need the work, and Sam here's got a thing for the bearded lady." Yay! We love... how many things is this? Misogyny, transphobia, and intersexism? And probably also homophobia?

G: [laughing] I fucking have no idea. Can we put it in the count, though?

C: Yeah, I think I'll just put it in the misogyny count because that's the one that we have a count for. Yeah, it's like, "it's so funny that anyone would ever have a thing for an intersex person, it's so funny that anyone would have a thing for like, a quote unquote 'ugly' or gender-non-conforming woman, it's gay that someone would have a thing for an intersex person-" there's like, so many things that Dean is saying.

And then, Mr. Cooper, out of fucking nowhere, goes into this spiel where he's like, "My dad was in the business" - and apparently, his dad looks just like him, that's like, sort of plot-relevant. He says, "He ran a freak show till they outlawed them most places. Apparently, displaying the deformed isn't dignified. So most of the performers went from honest work to rotting in hospitals and asylums. That's progress, I guess.” And this whole scene, you see Sam and Dean frowning and shaking their heads-

G: Yes!

C: - to show they disagree with disability rights?! [both laughing]

G: It's just confusing to me because like, I know that this person is wrong, but Supernatural is really trying to convince that, "No, this person is right!" Like, "These people were doing honest work and the work was taken away!" [C screams silently] And I'm sure there were experiences where that is true, you know.

C: Yeah.

G: Like, not all experiences are the same. But I think you should take this one, because you're the one who-

C: Yeah, I mean I just read a few PDFs. So yeah, I am not an expert on this subject, and I am also able-bodied, but like, from like, the bits of reading that I did yesterday- okay. So like,

the truth in Mr. Cooper’s statement is that, like, there was a time when like, this was basically the only work that a lot of disabled people could get, and it is true that some of them actually did become quite rich off of this work, so like, there are like, cases where like, in some ways, this was good for individuals. But also like, the idea of being able to consent to this kind of work means that- like, meaningful consent requires you to have like, options, you know? So if there's not an option, that's not really it. And also like, because this was the only work, oftentimes, even if they were paid decently, there was a lot of exploitative working hours. Also, like, a lot of them weren't paid decently. And also like, the whole concept of the freak show is that "you are weird," that is sensationalized and marketed, yeah, and then people go around and gawk at you in a dehumanizing way. Often like, in a physically violating way too, like, poking at you, all of that. So it's just really not a good thing in general.

Also, freak shows had a big impact on the ways that people viewed disabled people in Western society because, like, basically, the only times that you would see a lot of disabled people in public- yeah, so like, it's just a situation where the only time that you're encountering disabled people outside of like, hospitals and stuff is like, through these shows where there are people like, hawking their disabilities as like, something to look at. Also, these shows were like, sometimes encouraged- like, you were encouraged to go to them by like, the clergy, because they thought it'd be like a good moral experience for you to like, feel pity for these poor souls, [G sighs] and also feel good that like, you're not one of them. It's just so... it's just such a fucking... it's just such a fucking thing. Also, a lot of them were recruited as children, it's just, yeah, a really bad thing.

And I guess I should also mention that in addition to like, disabled people, a lot of people of color were also part of freak shows, so like.

G: Yes. There were instances of like, Filipino children, mostly, like, being taken to the United States, or like, you know, other quote unquote "Western" countries and being displayed as like, "Look at the Filipino child!" Like, these are things that happened in history.

C: Yeah.

G: Post-edit Grey here- I was mistaken. I said "Filipino children," I actually was supposed to say "Filipino tribes," which does involve children, but specifically, it was the Filipino indigenous people who were taken for world fair purposes and human zoo exhibitions. Yep!

C: Yeah. And I know, like, I think there's like, a specific case of a South African woman named Sarah Baartman who had steatopygia, which is, I think, a pretty common genetic trait among the San tribe, but yeah, she was like, taken around like, for display a lot because she just had like, large buttocks and, like, her image really helped canonize the image of black women as hypersexual and foreign, otherized, and dehumanized in the Western world. And after she died, they like- like, France, like, kept her remains, and they like, specifically kept her genitals for like, display in like, museums and for like, scientific stuff, and they didn't give up her remains back to her home country until 200 years afterwards. So like, yeah. Just- the entire practice was extremely dehumanizing, and even if there were some individuals who were disabled who benefited financially from the situation, like, overall, the effect on society was absolutely horrendous, the sentiments behind it were absolutely horrendous, and I guess the laws around them around banning them like, were, I think, like, the negative effects came because there weren't additional laws to like, create employment opportunities and social safety nets for disabled people that came along with those laws, but the laws themselves like, were a good thing.

Yeah, anyway, so I guess Mr. Cooper continues talking and says that "This place is a refuge for outcasts, for folks that don't fit in anywhere else.” Sure, bro.

G: I guess they're trying to do like, "Sam and Dean are also outcasts. They don't fit in anywhere else!"

C: [laughing] Ugh. You know in Glee where it's like, "You're all minorities. You're in the Glee club!" [G laughs] You're all outcasts. You're hunters!

And if they were actually outcasts, then maybe you would show them being regular about everyone in the carnival!

He tells them that they should "go to school, find a couple of girls" - like, multiple each, I guess, "have 2.5 kids, live regular." And Sam like, leans forward all intensely and goes, "Sir, we don't wanna go to school! And we don't want regular! We want this!" [laughs] Okay, cool.

G: So Sam and Dean get out of the office and are now walking around. Dean asks Sam about the "don't want to go back to school" remark, and he asks if Sam is just saying that or actually saying it. And Sam says he doesn't know, but he's having second thoughts because Dad would have wanted him to stick around with the job. Dean says, "Since when did you give a damn about what Dad wants? You've always wanted to do the opposite of what he wants." And Sam says, "Since he died, okay?" Sam asks, "You got a problem with that?" Dean says, "No. No problem at all."

We then go to Sam working the job, picking up trash. And he has like, a little earphone. Cute. He's not listening to MCR. [C laughs] He's listening to the EMF. So that's unfortunate.

He enters the mirror funhouse and starts EMF-ing the place, at first to no avail, but then a skeleton falls in front of him and freaks him out of it. So he calls Dean, who is working the job as well, picking up trash, throwing it away. Sam sounded like, a bit off. Dean cracks a "you sound like you just saw a clown!" joke. And Sam says like, "Shut up! And it was a skeleton, actually. In the funhouse." And Dean asked if it's a real human skeleton, and Sam says, like, "What if the spirit is not attached to a cursed object, it's attached to the remains."

I don't know, have you seen an actual skeleton?

C: I don't know. Probably not.

G: I have because, like, I have siblings who work in the medical field, and, like, when they have classes, they like, take home, like, a box of skeletons. Pretty cool!

C: Nice, yeah.

G: I just wanted to mention that. [laughing] I have no commentary whatsoever. [C laughs] I just thought it was cool.

C: It is pretty cool.

G: Literally like, I would be like, ten years old, or like, you know, like, I don't fucking know. Twelve, maybe. And just sitting in the garage like, holding up the rib bones or whatever. It's pretty cool!

C: That does sound cool. My comment on the scenes is that Mr. Cooper was like, "This place is only for creeps and weirdos!" and then their job is picking up trash at an amusement

park. [both laugh]

G: Yeah.

Dean heads to Sam, but before he can go, he gets stopped by the blind man from earlier, who asks Dean what he's doing. Dean says, like, "I'm sweeping," and the man calls bullshit. He overheard the EMF and skeleton talk. And Dean says, "Dude, your blind man hearing is out of control!"

C: [sighs] Literally, why couldn't you just say "hearing"? I don't understand.

G: The man says that he doesn't like outsiders, and they - as in like, the collective group - don't like outsiders, and they deal with their problems by themselves. Dean asks - like, out of fucking nowhere, I don't know why the conversation went to this, I don't understand - but he asks like, "Do you believe in ghosts?" and says that him and Sam are writing a book about it.

When Sam and Dean reunite, they see a girl in the crowd tell her mom that she's seeing a clown, but they go to look, and there's no clown there. So they follow this family [both laughing] to their home.

C: In their squeakyass minivan!

C: Sam tells Dean like, "I can't believe you told Papazian about the homicidal phantom clown."

G: Is that a name or a reference?

C: Yeah, see that's what I'm not sure about because, like, if it's like, a reference to like, a blind like, TV character, I don't want to be using this as his name.

Okay yeah, yeah, no, the Supernatural wiki calls him Barry Papazian, so yeah. Okay, so he has a name, but the transcript just didn't give it to us like as his dialogue tag. Okay.

So yeah. His name is Barry Papazian; I guess, I'll just call him Barry. Okay. So yeah, Sam tells Dean that he can't believe that he told Barry about the phantom clown, but Dean says that, "Oh, I just told him it was an urban legend, it's cool." And he starts pulling out a gun and pointing it at this poor family's house, and Sam's like, "Keep that down!"

And then Dean says that apparently, Mr. Cooper worked for the Bunker Brothers Circus before he owned Cooper Carnival, so it's likely that whatever the spirit's attached to, Cooper just brought it with him. Dean has fallen asleep later on, but then the light goes on in the house, and this little girl also just lets a fucking clown into her house, asking him, "Wanna come in and play?" [laughs] What, like, at midnight? How is she still awake? Don't you have school tomorrow, little girl?

So she leads the clown in, and we pan over and see that Sam and Dean have snuck into the house and are waiting behind a corner with their weapons ready. The little girl is leading the clown to her parents' bedroom, and then Sam jumps out and grabs the girl to get her out of the way as Dean keep shooting the clown in the chest with rock salt. It falls down, but keeps going, and then jumps out of the window and turns invisible. As it does that, the parents run out, and they're like, "What the fuck are you doing? Get away from my daughter?" The dad's like, wearing this white tank top that like, shows off his arms pretty well, [G starts laughing] and you have created the sentence "Is this fanservice?" in my mind every time something like this happens-

G: No!

C: But I don't think it is 'cause it's like, a very quick shot. [laughs] So Sam and Dean leave the girl behind and run away really fast, and she says, "Mommy, Daddy, they shot my clown!"

G: So we go to Sam and Dean in the middle of the road. Well, not in the middle. In the side of the road. And they are taking the plates off of the van and taking their stuff and leaving the van behind.

Okay, they start walking away and they talk about the case. The rock salt hit the clown pretty hard, so that was something solid. It's not a spirit. Sam thinks it may be a person or a creature that can induce invisibility, and Sam like, gets out his phone to call Ellen or Ash, and asks Dean the thing that we mentioned earlier, which is like, the hints of John/Ellen shenanigans. [C laughs]

Dean says that "No way, no way that they were a thing." And Sam asks, "Then why did he not tell us about her?" Dean's like, "I don't know. Maybe a falling out?" And Sam says, "Do you ever notice that Dad has a falling out with just about everybody?" And Dean goes silent.

Sam tells Dean, "Don't go all maudlin on me." And I thought maudlin was a name, so I looked it up, and apparently, it's an actual word, and it's a pretty cool word! Maudlin. Good word.

"This strong, silent thing of yours is crap. I'm over it," Sam says. Dean says, like, "Oh, god," you know, his usual Dean "oh, god." And Sam continues on, saying that "This is Dad. I know how you felt about the man." Dean says, "Shut up. Just because I'm not caring and sharing like you want me to-" And Sam says, "I don't care how you deal with it, I just want you to deal with it. I'm your brother, and I just want to make sure you're okay." Dean starts shouting. He says, "I'm okay! The next person who asks me if I'm okay, I'm gonna start throwing punches."

C: Words from an okay person.

G: Dean says like, "These are your issues, man. Quit dumping that on me." And Sam asks like, "What does that mean? What do you mean?" And Dean continues. He says that Sam fought John all his life, and even in John's last moments, they were fighting. And only now did he start thinking about what John would want. He says, "Now that he's dead, now, you want to make it right? Well, I'm sorry, but you can't. It's too little, too late." Sam asks quietly, "Why are you saying this to me?" And Dean says, "Because I want you to be honest with yourself, man! I'm dealing with Dad's death. Are you?" They stare at each other furiously, and then Sam says, "I'm gonna call Ellen."

C: I can't believe Dean's saying Sam's the one in the wrong here [laughs], and he has to make it right with John, but I understand where he's coming from. He's mourning.

G: I don't think like, he's saying that like, Sam is wrong. I think he's just saying that like, "this is what you think is happening," which is that you were in the wrong. Like, you know, like, he's not siding with someone right now. He's just verbalizing what Sam is thinking.

C: Yeah, okay. But okay, I feel like earlier, when Dean was talking to Sam and being like, "Oh, did you really mean it that you like, don't want to go back to school?" I think my reading of that part - or my charitable reading of that part - was that Dean desperately wants Sam to get out of the life now that John is dead because it means he's less likely to go darkside, which means it's less likely that Dean's gonna have to kill him, but I don't- I don't know if that's in here at all.

G: I actually thought about that as well, but I, like, retracted it from my notes because I think like, Dean doesn't really know what the fuck John was saying, still, at this point.

C: Yeah.

G: So like, it's not consciously in his mind that like, "Sam is gonna go darkside." Like, he's they just thinking, "What a weird thing Dad told me!" you know. [C laughs]

C: Right before Azazel mysteriously murdered him and Dad had no idea it was gonna happen!

Sam has finished talking to Ellen and says that Ellen thinks that the creature is a Rakshasa. He says [laughing], "It's a race of ancient Hindu creatures." Okay. Go Supernatural again.

I didn't do that much background research on the creature, but I know that they're found in multiple religions besides just Hinduism and that I think they're like, a bit more complex them Supernatural makes them out to be, like, sometimes they are like, heroes and strong warriors, sometimes they're evil. Yeah, I mean, there's a lot going on, but, overall I just think it's kind of shitty- it's- I don't think it's the worst thing Supernatural’s ever done, but like, eugh.

G: I think, you know, like, it's fine for a horror show to take elements from other cultures other than the ones present predominantly in where they are located.

C: Yeah.

G: I think that's all right. Like, I don't think every single creature that Supernatural takes from, it's like, a sin that they're taking from the culture. But, you know, this creature literally could have been anything because it literally does not matter what it was. Like, that's not the point of episode. So a part of me is like, when you're taking from something, you know, like, put some effort in, you know? Like [laughs], just throw +2 effort in this scenario. [both laugh] So that's more my complaint than the fact that they're taking from a culture. Like, if you are gonna take from some lore, like, try to make it matter more, I guess.

C: I think maybe I was more sensitive, because it's like, when I googled the creature to like, learn more about them, like, the first two like, results were like, a D&D Wiki page and like, a Forgotten Realms wiki page, so it's like, this is a creature that like, a lot of different media properties have taken in for their own, and like, it's just kind of- I don't know it makes me sad that, like, it's been so divorced from the original cultural context that, like, the first result is the D&D page for them, you know?

So he explains that they're in human form, they eat humans, they can make themselves invisible, and they can't enter a home without first being invited.

G: Isn't this, like, the lore of-

C: [laughing] That's basically vampires, right?

G: Yeah, yeah.

C: Yeah, but I guess, they were like, "We're making our vampires special, so we have to make up new things that are also vampires but not vampires." [laughs]

I think- I think a vamp- wait, sorry, I was about to say "I think a vampire dressing up as a clown would be cool," but then I remembered the Supernatural finale. [both laughing]

G: Noo! No! No.

C: Yeah, no, but I feel like vampires dressing up as clowns to become invited into homes is like, a fun idea.

G: If, like, the vampires are like, actually dressed up as actual clowns, and not just wearing a clown face-

C: Yeah.

G: It's like, like, if you're gonna become a clown, commit to the bit, you know. [C laughs] Put on the clown makeup. Don't put on a mask.

C: [laughing] Me recording this podcast. [both laughing]

G: Literally us recording this podcast. Committing to the bit.

C: Dean asks why they don't just eat the kids, and Sam's like, "I don't know. Not enough meat on the bones, maybe?" [laughing] Like, they don't try to explain this more at all later, it's just like, we know that Supernatural didn't want to show child murder. Also, apparently, also they sleep on a bed of dead insects, and they have to feed a few times every 20 or 30 years. So they think that it's probably Cooper 'cause he was working both shows, and that picture of that father that looks just like him, maybe that just straight up was him. And apparently, you kill these creatures with a dagger made of pure brass. And Sam says, "Before we started stabbing things, we should make sure it's him," and Dean jokingly goes, “Oh, you're such a stickler for details, Sammy." And they sort of smile at each other, so you get the sense that, like, despite their big fight they're still okay in a way. So they head to the carnival.

G: Also like, I wanna- I just want to say, like, for Deangirls, like, I did notice the nail-biting, you know.

C: What?

G: This scene has it. Like, there's a scene, where like, Dean like, bites his nails.

C: Oh. Why does that matter?

G: [laughs] You literally do not care. [both laugh] No, it's just- it's like, it shows nervousness, you know, it shows agitation, it like-

C: Oh, right. Dean has feelings. Correct. [laughs]

G: Yeah. It's giffed a lot, you know? That scene. And also this scene in general, this scene of them walking down the road is in a lot of like, season 2 moodboard type of scenarios.

C: Yeah, that makes sense.

G: So this is like, a scene that like, people know.

C: Okay, yeah. Well, congratulations Deangirls.

G: Congratulations to oral fixation Dean Winchester truthers. [C laughs] Literally, Sigmund Freud would be so proud.

C: Inside the carnival, Sam's going into Cooper's trailer to check on his bed. Meanwhile, Dean is going with Barry to the tent 'cause Dean's asking him if he has a pure brass knife.

Sam slices open the mattress, doesn't look very bug-filled, and also, Cooper is there, pointing a gun at him, going, "What do you think you're doing?"

Meanwhile, Barry tells Dean to go in and check the trunk. He opens it, and there's a red clown wig. He turns around and goes, “You?” And Barry drops his cane, pulls off his sunglasses, and then his eyes, like, uncloud- or no, his eyes are like, uncloudy, and he says, "Me.” And then he, like, becomes invisible and his eyes are glowing in the air. Ugh. Okay. Cool.

G: [laughs] Cool. Anyway, Dean starts banging on the door and he's trying to get out, but can't. He gets tossed around a bit. When he eventually gets out, he comes across - and I wrote in my notes, quote, "Sam," because I thought this was like, gonna be a bluff.

C: Barry, yeah!

G: Yeah. But it's not. It's literally just - they don't even do a whole "he changes shape!" Like, they literally don't. So does that mean that Barry, like, every single night puts on literal clown makeup and clown wig because-

C: [laughing] Yes. Yes.

G: Jesus Christ.

C: That's dedication.

G: The effort... literally, the fucking dedication.

Dean relays that it's, you know, Barry who's the Rakshasa, and that he didn't get the brass blades. So Sam says he's got an idea, and he enters the funhouse. They both do. And, as they are walking - well, running, I guess, inside - they get separated by a wall and Sam tells him, "Go find the maze!" What? Like, this entire scene, I was like-

C: Yeah.

G: "What is happening?" I know it's not the point of the episode so that's why they don't like, linger on the case that much and don't like, flesh it out properly, but you can not flesh out the case and it still be interesting, you know? So the fact that this one is so subpar is just really disappointing.

C: [laughs] Yeah. Well.

G: Like, what do you mean "go find the maze"? Like, "go find me in the maze"? Is that what he's trying to say? And like, how does he know that there's brass - there's like a brass instrument inside?

C: Yeah! It's just an organ, how do you tell what the metal in it is?

G: Anyway, they both walk around, and Sam finds the like, organ. And it has steam coming out of it, and he tries to pry apart a piece of it to stab the Rakshasa with. Dean finds him eventually, and I was like, in my notes, quote "Dean" [C laughs] 'cause I thought it was gonna be a bluff.

C: Ugh, I wish.

G: But alas, it's literally not a bluff.

C: I had two thoughts on Sam grabbing the steam pipes. One was - do you remember that later seasons like, scene that gets screenshotted [laughing] of Sam taking, like, a tray out of the oven with his bare hands?

G: [laughing] Yeah, literally! [both laughing] I think it was a pot of pasta, yeah. And he's like, taking it out of the stovetop.

C: Yeah. Sam!

G: It's like, Sam! Completely barehanded.

And like, do you know the context of that episode?

C: No, what is it?

G: Like, the context was that Chuck took away their main character powers so they're just normal people now.

C: Ohh.

G: So like, you're supposed to think that all of this time, [C laughing] Sam literally would just grab hot objects and be like, "It's fine! It's a hot object but it's not that bad." And like, now that Chuck took away their powers, he's like, "Ouch! Yeowch!" Like, alright, sure!

C: [laughing] That's so funny.

Yeah, and my second thought was “Jimmy Novak core.”

G: [laughing] Literally Jimmy Novak core.

G: Dean finds him eventually, right, and Dean says that "Shouldn't the guy like- the guy's clothes float around?" And then, as, you know, Sam is taking out the brass object, Dean gets sent to the wall by a couple of knives, and so the Rakshasa is around, and-

C: And completely nude.

G: [laughs] Compl- wait, no!

C: I know.

G: Wait. We'll get into it later. But Sam eventually gets a piece of brass, and he asks Dean, "Where is the man? Where's the man?" And then Dean reaches out for a switch, which I thought was going to make it rain, I mean like, you know, like, sprinkle water around, but it doesn't. It makes this theme from the brass organ go... boom boom? [C laughs] [laughing] I have no idea what's happening in this scene!

C: There's just a lot of steam now. There's more of it than before.

G: Yeah, there's a lot of steam now. That's what's important. And the steam causes them to be able to see the figure and the silhouette of the Rakshasa. Sam stabs him, and then he dies, and then Sam and Dean stand over the body, and they see that it has disappeared. And clothes are left behind, right? Am I- did I-

C: [laughing] No, I know he's clothed, but I feel like the implication of Dean going like, "Shouldn't we see his clothes around?" and then you see a knife being thrown, I feel like the viewer's supposed to think for a second, "Is he naked?"

G: Noo! But anyway, like, this entire scene was so anticlimactic.

C: Yeah, it was not good.

G: And I was like, "Okay. Sure."

C: Wow, it just happened to be a brass pipe, and you stabbed him. Yayy.

G: Yeah.

C: So now we're back at the Roadhouse, and Ellen's congratulating them. So Jo sits down at the bar, and then she like, looks at Sam and smiles at him a lot. And apparently, that was supposed to be a signal for him to go away, but it kinda just looked like she was flirting with Sam, right?

G: I literally was like, "Oh, she's flirting Sam up?" And I know that Deanjo is more the thing, but like, in this moment, I was like, "Wait. Sam and Jo? What?" But apparently not, she's just asking him to go away, which like, okay, sure.

C: Yeah. I could not tell that that was the social signals being put out.

G: I literally could not tell. I literally could not tell. Like, if I was Sam in that moment, I would be like, "Jo is into me." [both laugh] Literally.

C: I'd be like, giggling and twirling my hair, like, "Oh my god, me? Jo? Yeah! Here's my number!"

Right, so Sam goes, “Oh, yeah, I-I have to go... over there. Right now." And because I still thought that this was Jo flirting with Sam I was like, "Sam gay aro moments again?" [both laugh] But no.

G: Sam good brother moments.

C: Yeah. So Jo says to Dean, "So, am I gonna see you again?" And Dean says, "Do you want to?" And Jo says, "I wouldn't hate it."

I don't get- whatever. You said Dean's a handsome man, and apparently, many people think that, so I guess that's all I have to understand [laughs]. So Dean says, "Can I be honest with you? See, normally, I'd be hitting on you so fast, it would make your head spin."

G: What a weird thing to say!

C: What a weird thing to say, Dean.

G: "I would be hitting on you so hard right now. Like, your head will be spinning." Like, why?

C: "You will be decapitated because of how staunch my sexual advances on you would be." [both laughing] Yeah, and he says, "These days, I don't know." And she says, "Wrong place, wrong time?" He says, "Yeah." She says, "Okay, I get it."

And Ash comes in with the folder and a chunkyass laptop. And he says - oh, also, he's like, wearing a vest over like, no shirt or anything.

G: Yeah, and his nipples are out! [C laughs] Good for him.

C: Yeah, good for him! What a lad. And he says that he's been waiting for them 'cause he has figured out John's whole thing. And he shows them that his code says that the demon's nowhere around, but as soon as he does show up, he'll know. He says, "I'm on it like Divine on dog dookie"? Did you understand what that was supposed to mean?

G: I have no fucking idea. Let's look it up.

C: Let's look at the Wiki, yeah.

G: It's from a thing called Pink Flamingos, "a post-modern exploitation comedy, or strictly speaking, camp film." Wow.

C: Wow.

G: Divine is like, a criminal and then picks up dog poop, I guess?

C: And eats it? The Wiki says that he eats it.

G: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

C: Okay. Alright.

G: Cool!

C: Thanks Ash! Okay.

G: Cool. Hashtag postmodernism.

C: Yeah.

If any new signs or omens appear anywhere in the world, then like, his program is gonna go off. The GUI for this like, program is like, very good for something that he's made in only 51 hours. And like, it has to like, constantly be like, checking the Web, right? I wonder, like, how often it updates.

Anyway, [laughs] so Dean reaches for the laptop to try to take a look. Ash is like, "Uh-uh, you're not touching my baby." And Dean like, pulls his hand back and is like, "Yeah."

Sam asks where Ash learned to do all this, and apparently, he did that at MIT before he got kicked out for fighting. And Sam says, "MIT?" And Ash says, "It's a school in Boston." [laughs]

G: The thing is, the way Sam says MIT really pissed me off. Like, he says it so judgmentally, like, condescendingly.

C: Right.

G: And I was like, "Sam, come on."

C: Sam, come on.

G: You're literally, like, you should know better, knowing you're- you were in Stanford and it was like, a major plot point that you didn't fit in because of class issues.

C: Yeah.

G: So the fact that he's like, being like this to Ash is like, "Sam." But I guess like, Sam’s perspective was more assimilation, right?

C: Yeah. I feel like if Sam wasn't so judgmental they could have connected over their college experiences a bit, but I guess not.

And Dean tells Ash, to give them a call as soon as they know- as soon as he knows something. He takes a sip of his beer and sets it down, and then Ash picks it up and drinks it. Like, that's Hays Code for sex, right?

G: [laughs] Literally Hays Code.

C: Like, they fucked.

So Sam and Dean head out, and Ellen says like, "Hey, if you need somewhere to stay, like, I have a few beds here." And Dean says, "Thanks, but no. There's something I've gotta finish."

G: So Dean is in the yard again, Bobby's yard, and he's finishing up the car. Sam approaches him, and-

C: - you can see his nipples through his thin gray T-shirt. [both laugh]

G: He says, "Dean, you were right. And I'm sorry that the last time I was with him, I tried to pick a fight. I'm sorry that I spent most of my life angry at him, and he probably died thinking I hate him." He admits that Dean is also right about the fact that it's "Too little, too late," and that he misses John, and he's guilty as hell, and he's not alright. But neither is Dean. He leaves, and Dean paces around, and then-

C: Whoo!

G: - picks up a crowbar and smashes the window of the Impala! He starts hitting the trunk of the Impala over and over and over again until there's a fucking hole in the trunk hood. And then he stands still, and we're just lingering on his face. And his lips are wobbling. He's- we're getting full acting in this scene. [C laughs] And then we hear guitar sounds start, and then we cut to black. That's how the episode ends.

C: Yep.

G: Should we mention the "In Memory of Peter Ellis," or is that irrelevant?

C: I don't think Peter Ellis cares that much about what we think about his death. [both laugh]

G: Well, I hope he's resting in peace.

C: Yeah, that's true.

G: Yeah, he directed [in unison] "Bloody Mary" and "The Benders." Which were both good episodes direction-wise, so.

C: Yeah. Thanks, Peter.

G: What did you think about the crowbar scene?

C: Um, 'cause there is a charitable reading that like, Dean hasn't been dealing with his emotions and now that like, Sam said that, he's like, "Okay, I will deal with my emotions, but like, this is how I get- how I deal with them." But I don't think that's what's happening, right? [laughs]

G: What do you think was happening?

C: [laughing] I mean, I think he's just an angry little man with access to a crowbar.

G: I think, like, of course it's related to the grief and everything.

C: Hurting Baby, like, specifically is probably an act of self-hatred.

G: I just think like, just cry! [both laugh] Why do you have to be so violent?

C: Yeah, like, that's Baby!

G: I thought you didn't care about the car, huh? Huh?

C: I... I didn't like when there was an entire whole in the trunk. Like, up until that point, I was like, "Whatever," and then like, I saw that you could see through the trunk, and I was like, "Wait, no!"

Is Dean better after this episode? Like, do you think it helped?

G: I mean, I hope so. You are set back a couple of hours maybe because of this hole in the back of the car. I hope it fucking helped. [C laughs]

Yeah. What did you think about this episode?

C: Um, well. I sent you “I hate Supernatural” in Discord three times in a row while watching it. [both laughing]

G: The thing is like, the brothers stuff are alright, you know. Like, the grief stuff are alright. The case was so weak that it takes out so much of the enjoyment that you could possibly have with this episode.

C: Right. It's like, what, "Why do I care about any of the emotional parts? It's literally written by John Shiban who wrote the rest of this."

G: Okay. Best Line/Worst Line. What's your best line?

C: Hm. I liked, you know, Sam's ending thing. Like, "I miss him, and... and I feel guilty as hell, and I'm not alright, not at all. But neither are you."

G: Yeah. It's a good line. I think I'll ride on your best line. Like yeah, that is the thesis of the episode that like, "I miss him, etc., and I'm not alright, but neither are you." Like, that's the whole point of what they're trying to build up to and culminate towards. So best line. Yeah.

C: What does Sam miss about John?

G: I think, you know, you can miss people, just the general idea of them.

C: Yeah, I guess.

G: Like, it doesn't have to be specific.

What do you think is the worst line of this episode?

C: I mean, the whole, like, freak show, honest work, blah blah blah blah blah, I don't wanna say it again.

G: I really hated the part with the- with Barry and the little person, the little man. Sam laughing, like that pissed me off a lot. The fact that they were like, "We have to have someone laughing in the background!" So like, not the line specifically, but just the laughter. I hated it, so that's the worst line.

C: Yeah, the line "hahahahaha" is the worst line.

G: The line "hahahahaha." Yes, exactly. [C laughs]

IMDB rating.

C: [laughing] This better be low. It better be low.

G: I will go for an 8.4.

C: Okay. I will go for an 8.2.

G: Oh my god!

C: What?

G: You got it straight on.

C: Oh my god! Yay, good. It should have been below an 8, but at least it is sort of low.

G: Let's see what people thought about it.

C: [laughs] I don't think I'm going to enjoy what people say about it.

G: Yeah, I just- I thought it would be higher because of the whole, like, the grief part was actually pretty good, so.

C: Yeah. But I also know that a lot of fans like, hated Jo at the time.

G: Oh, no.

C: Yeah. So I was like-

G: I mean, she's not given much this episode, so I don't see why- how someone could could hate or like her yet.

C: Yeah.

G: You know. It goes both ways that she's not really like, a character - a fully fleshed-out character yet, yeah. Do you have any particular feelings about Ellen and Jo, by the way, and Ash? Do you have expectations for their character?

C: I know that, like, Ellen and Jo's death scene is gonna be very emotional to watch. I guess I don't know that much else besides like, Jo's, like, "I was a freak with a knife collection!" line. [laughs]

G: I thought you would enjoy the whole, like, Jo and Ellen having a drinking game with Cas thing.

C: Oh my god, Jo, you're right, I forgot about that one! Yes. I do like that. And I liked that they were like, in the family photo scene.

G: Yes! Oh my fucking god! [laughing] [in unison] The family photo!

I miss Cas so much.

C: Me too.

G: He's literally in the family photo!

C: He's just standing there!

G: He's literally just standing there.

He's standing there with his little face and his little trenchcoat. I love him so much. Okay. [laughs]

C: Yeah.

G: Called corny by an IMDB user. I'm sorry, guys.

C: One of these reviews is just titled "A Good Show." Are we sure about that? [both laugh]

G: No. It's absolutely not.

This one review talks about how Jo eventually becomes like, a sister figure for Dean, so like, the introduction feels a little off.

C: Yeah.

G: I think, you know, relationships evolve. It doesn't have to be like, you see someone as a sister figure- like, you don't- you know what I mean. I don't fucking know.

C: Yeah. No, I get it.

G: Relationships evolve, so like, if it starts off like, "we have romantic feelings," and then later on, it's like, really strongly platonic, that's okay. I don't see the problem in that.

G: I think that's it for this episode of Busty Asian Beauties. Next time, we will be talking about Season 2, Episode 3: “Bloodlust.” Leave us a rating or review wherever you get your podcasts.

C: Follow us on social media! We are on Twitter at twitter.com/BeautiesPodcast and on Tumblr at bustyasianbeautiespod.tumblr.com. Our official tag is #BABPod, B-A-B-pod. Thank you to everyone who's donated to our Ko-Fi at ko-fi.com/bustyasianbeautiespod.

G: You can email us any feedback, comments, or inquiries at [email protected]. See you guys next time! [both] Bye!

[guitar music]

#transcript

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whatareyousearchingfordean · 4 years ago

Text

The Wedding Date

Summary: When he finds out that his ex, Andrea, is bringing a date to their mutual friends wedding, Benny seeks out a woman to pretend to be his own girlfriend to save face. That’s when he lands on Y/n, his buddy, Dean’s, best friend. She is happy to oblige the charming southerner, but the night just may churn up some unexpected emotions between her and Dean.

Pairing: Dean x Reader, Benny x Reader (kind of)

Word Count: 3.2K+

Warnings: Language, angst

Square Filled: Fake Dating AU

Author’s Note: Written for @spngenrebingo . Thought I would try and do a new spin on this classic trope. I’m such a sucker for it too, so that helps. And I’ve always wanted to write Benny. So this is what you get. Special thanks to my boo thang @waywardbeanie for getting me excited to write this one. As always, thanks so much for taking the time to read and please let me know what you think, your feedback means everything to me. xoxo Alex.

“Dude, seriously?” Dean smacked at Y/n’s hand, knocking away a few of the fries she had stolen from his plate. She still managed to shove a few in her mouth that he was unable to get back from her. The young woman threw her head back as she laughed at the bitch face he tossed her way, the look reminding her so much of her best friend’s baby brother. “If you want fries, just fucking order them.”

“I didn’t know I wanted them until I smelled them on your plate.” She giggled around the mouthful of potato.

“Yeah, right you always say that.” Y/n shrugged at him, a cheeky smirk on her lips. He wasn’t wrong, but french fries always taste better when they are someone else’s. Stealing his fries was a favorite pastime of hers if only so she could see the annoyance that flashed across his face before he too would break out in a smile.

“Quit being a little bitch about it and drink your beer,” she quipped, tipping her chin at the brown bottle in his hand.

“You… drink your… beer,” Dean mumbled with a furrowed brow, only eliciting more giggles from his friend.

The pair were nestled in a booth at the Roadhouse, the same place they’ve had dinner together every Wednesday night since they were teenagers. The Roadhouse wasn’t the nicest place in town, but neither cared much about that. All that matter was making sure they never lost touch with each other. They had made the pact to eat here when school and their lives began to try and pry them apart, demanding all their time and attention. But since graduating college two years ago, the pair had once again become nearly inseparable and by then, their dinners were just routine.

“That was smooth, Winchester.” Dean opened his mouth to give her what she was sure was going to be a witty retort when his buddy, Benny, slid into the booth next to Dean. The Winchester bounced as he was forced to slide further against the wall, his annoyed grimace once again returning to his features.

“Hey, nice to see you too.” Dean mocked his friend's lack of manners.

“Hey, chief,” he chirped before turning his attention across the booth. “Hey, Cher.”

“Hi, Benny.” Y/n smiled at him, using the distraction to pluck a few more fries from Dean's plate.

“What are you doing here?” Dean questioned, unsure as to what the southern was doing interrupting their dinner. He knew better than anyone else that Dean and Y/n always had dinner together on Wednesdays nights.

“I need your help. Andrea has a new boyfriend already and she’s bringing him to Everett’s wedding next weekend.” Benny explained, a frown on his lips.

“Dude, that’s rough,”

“I need a date, someone to pretend to be my girlfriend for the night.” Benny spat out before Dean could finish his sentence. Dean raised his brow at Y/n, who chuckled again at her friends.

“What makes you think I have a girl for you?” Dean tried this time, continuing to dig into his dinner in front of him. Benny turned his gaze onto Y/n across the table, who was taking a drink of her beer. The woman stuttered around her drink when she noticed both men looking at her.

“Me?” She wiped the bit of bubbly liquid that had dripped down her chin in her surprise.

Benny smiled, cocking his head at the adorable blush creeping up on her face. “Why not, Cher? You’re smart, witty, and more than beautiful. Any man would be lucky to have you on their arm.” The southern insisted. She was more surprised than she thought she would have been upon hearing his endearing words for her. Benny had always flirted with her to no end, but he also flirted with everyone woman. That was just the type of guy he was. She presumed that’s why he and Dean got along so well, their easy demeanor attracting them to each other.

Benny and Y/n were too busy staring at each other to notice Dean’s subtle glance at his best friend.

“Ah, Benny,”

“There will be free alcohol,” He was pressing her, before even hearing her answer to his offer.

“I would love to. And not just because of the free alcohol, though it is a plus.” Y/n finished the last of her beer.

“So, what do you say, Dean?” This time Benny turned on his buddy next to him.

“Me? Why would I care?” Dean’s voice rose in pitch, his nose scrunching up in confusion. The rhythm of his heartbeat in his chest picked up as both of his friends looked at him.

“She is your best friend, and I know how you treat her boyfriends.”

“That’s just ‘cause all her boyfriends were assholes. Besides, you’re not actually dating.” He couldn’t understand why Benny had even asked him that question. Y/n was a grown woman, it was not up to him to let her do anything.

“They weren’t all assholes,” Y/n tried to defend, but both men narrowed their eyes at her in unison, causing her to huff out a mumbled ‘fine’.

“So you’re good with this?” Benny asked Dean one last time. He knew his buddy well, and he wanted to make sure he never stepped on his toes, even if Dean was too thick to see it quite yet.

“Dude, of course. Besides, it’s not up to me.”

Benny clapped his hands together. “Right! Then we are on for Saturday. I’ll pick you up at eight Cher.”

****

The weather was on the cusp of early autumn in Kansas. The days were spent in warm sunshine and the evenings were cuddled together in hoodies near a bonfire. The sun was low in the sky as Benny helped her out of his car at the venue, making Y/n happy she chose a dress with sleeves for the evening.

“So, what is the plan? You want madly in love or do we just like each other right now?” There was a small smirk on her lips as Benny hooked his arm underneath her own. He patted her forearm.

“Just be yourself, Cher.” He promised her, his voice low as they drew closer to their seats. “The yourself that is madly in love with me.” Y/n had to laugh out loud at his comment. Benny’s words reminded her that tonight would be easy, even if she had butterflies in her stomach. Y/n and Benny had always gotten along well. He made her laugh, especially when he and Dean would get each going. Their nights together were always a riot. Not to mention he was a true southern gentleman. So, all in all, he was right, the two of them would be easy together, and she could do this for her friend.

The two of them found their way to a row of open seats, finding Dean saving them two open chairs. He stood as they approached, his eyes flashing wide for a fraction of a second before he regained his composure. “Wow, Y/n. You look beautiful.”

“Careful, that’s my girl you are talking to.” Benny piped up next to her as they all took their seats. He had a playful smile on his lips, but that did nothing to stop the embers from igniting deep in Dean’s belly. The reaction caught him off guard. Dean had never felt this sense of protection over his best friend that was now coursing through his veins. The way Benny had draped his arm over her shoulder had him biting the inside of his cheek, but not his tongue.

“So what is your plan if Andrea comes up and questions all this. She knows who Y/n is, don’t you think she’ll be suspicious?” Dean was trying to fight his proud smirk, thinking he had broken down their whole plan.

“Well, then I’ll just say I’ve been hiding my feelings for him for a long time and when they broke up I finally took my chance to snag him.” Y/n had shrugged as if it was no big deal, Benny nodding alongside her. Dimples formed in the corners of Dean’s mouth as he frowned. It was that easy for her, wasn’t it?

“Sounds good to me.” For the first time, the southern drawl of one of his closest friends just seemed to grate on Dean’s last nerve, a fact that scared him.

Dean had quickly been pushed aside as the trio made their way through the cocktail hour. The two ‘lovers’ had the madly in love routine down easy, making Dean feel like the third wheel. Which was ridiculous considering that his friends were not even dating each other. It was all for show. But the longer they laughed at each other, and the more she leaned against the southerner, the more agitated he seemed to become. He was already on his third whiskey by the time they were being served dinner at the reception.

Y/n leaned towards Dean where he was seated next to her, “Are you okay? You’re knocking those back awfully quick there.” Her voice was low but the scoff that Dean answered with was not. The woman furrowed her brow at her best friend, unsure of why he was acting the way that he was. Before she could say anything, he was out of his seat and heading back over to the bar, leaving her with a pit in her stomach.

The feel of Benny’s fingers against her shoulder had her snapping her attention from Dean and back to the table she was currently sitting at. She turned her head to him as he tipped his chin to where Andrea was heading their way. The young woman had to shake away her thoughts of her friend at the bar and focus on the reason she was here.

From across the tent, Dean leaned against the bar, another drink in his hand. Dean rolled his tongue over his teeth as Benny pulled Y/n closer to his body and kissed her temple. He watched her eyelashes flutter against her cheeks as his blood boiled beneath his skin.

The smoke building inside him had no place in his heart. Dean had seen her with plenty of guys before, and he couldn’t understand what had changed. Why did he suddenly want to rip her from Benny’s grasp? What about his best friend in his buddy’s arms was making his skin crawl? After all, Dean knew the kind of guy that Benny was. He truly could give her all that she ever wanted. He also knew how much Y/n liked Benny. Dean tightened his grip on the glass in his right hand and he continued to try to understand this rage inside him when he should be happy for them.

It was then that she locked eyes with him across the tent. The conversation between Andrea and Benny dissipating to white noise around her as she watched his jaw tick. Her brows knit together as she watched the anger roll off him in waves. It wasn’t like Dean to not talk to her when he was upset. In fact, she was one of the only people he talked about his feelings with, the other being his baby brother, Sam. But there he was, downing whiskeys like glasses of water and storming off when she tried to speak to him.

“Uh, excuse me.” She mumbled to the two ex-lovers, though neither of them seemed to pay her any mind. The temperature was dropping along with the sun, and Y/n rubbed her upper arms for warmth as she made her way over to him. His eyes followed her movements across the tent, not stopping even as she made her way next to him, leaning against the bar near where his elbow was resting.

Dean didn’t say a word, flicking his eyes towards the crowd now forming on the dance floor. His jade eyes followed the movement across the wood without actually watching what was happening. He just couldn’t look her in the eyes because he knew why she was here. The damned woman always read him like a book.

She scoffed at the silent treatment he was giving her before ripping the whiskey from his hand and setting it down on the bar. Y/n took Dean by the wrist and dragged him away from the crowd and to the outside of the tent. The sun was nearly gone under the horizon and the stars were beginning to twinkle in its wake.

“Come on, talk to me.” Her voice was clipped, yet still soft as she addressed him. Y/n rubbed her arm again as she folded into herself to stay warm. The action didn’t go unnoticed by her best friend, who shrugged off his suit jacket and threw it over her shoulders.

“What’s going on Dean?” She tried again, pulling the jacket closed around her to bask in his warmth left behind inside it. Not to mention the fact that it smelled just like him and the fancy cologne that he only wore for these types of occasions. It was a scent that she was obsessed with.

“I don’t know.” He answered her honestly.

“You are clearly angry about something. Your jaw has been set like that since the ceremony.” Her gesture was noncommittal as she tried to stay in the warmth of his jacket. “Have I done something to piss you off?”

“No, god no, Y/n/n.” Dean let out a breath, his face dropping when he realized how he had been coming across to her all night. Y/n was only doing what her friend had asked of her, and he couldn’t be mad at that. Hell, he couldn’t be mad at Benny either considering he gave them his blessing. The only problem was, now he wishes he had never done so. “I just can’t-” his words broke as he tried to voice the feeling even he didn’t understand.

“What can’t you do Dean?” Y/n’s frustration was growing along with her voice and she couldn’t stop her own anger from trickling up inside her chest.

“I can’t watch you with Benny!” He erupted, responding in kind to her lashing. “Benny with his hands all over you and trying to stake his claim. It fucking pisses me off, okay?”

Y/n flinched back from his outburst, her confusion only growing, along with the butterflies in her stomach. “It’s all a show! Besides, since when do you care about any guy I’ve been with?”

“I’ve always cared, Y/n. But I don’t know, somewhere deep down I always knew that you would eventually find out they were all trash, but Benny…” Dean took a deep breath. “Benny is a great guy, and he makes you laugh...” Dean’s voice was low as he ran his fingers through the short spikes at the top of his head.

“Then I don’t understand what the problem is?” And she truly didn’t. Dean was making no sense to her right now, but she knew whatever he was feeling was real as she watched the water welling up in the corner of his eyes.

“The problem is he’s not me!” Dean blurted out, the words escaping his mouth surprising even him. There it was now, all out in the open and they both finally saw it for what it was. Dean wanted to be the man to hold her tight to his body, to kiss her temple, and to be on the receiving end of those soft smiles that show him just how content she feels.

“Dean, I-”

“Don’t, I’m sorry. You don’t have to say anything.” Blood was rushing to his face and neck as she just stood there staring at him, her mouth hanging open. His admission had caught her off guard there was no denying that. It was the fact that his words didn’t scare her that shocked her even more. Now, the butterflies were full-on losing their damned minds inside her belly and she could feel her heart racing against her ribcage.

“Come off it! Don’t you do that to me! You can’t just admit something like that and not even let me tell you how I feel. Our relationship has never worked that way, and I’ll be damned if we start doing it now.”

“Fine!” He spat.

“Fine!” Y/n parroted back to him, her words the straw that broke the camel’s back. Dean’s nostrils flared as he gripped her shoulders, pushing her back on her feet until he had her caged in between his body and the hedge from the garden. A small gasp left her body as her back made contact with the dense shrubbery.

The woman squared her shoulders with a deep breath, refusing to back down to the man towering over her. “You don’t get to tell me how I feel.”

“How do you feel, Y/n? ‘Cause, god, I’ve got to know if I should be crawling under a rock right now or kissing you.” He lifted his right hand from the bush behind him, cradling her jaw in his palm and running his thumb over her lower lip. His jade-colored eyes were hidden in the now dark skies, but she could still feel the intensity of them boring into her own.

The line in their friendship had officially been crossed, and there was no going back. Both of them knew there were only two outcomes from this moment. It was up to Y/n to make the decision now, do they go left,/ or do they go right?. Dean had put it all into her hands and it had her stomach flipping inside of itself. Had you asked her this morning what she thought about Dean having feelings for her, she probably would have laughed in your face, but now the look on his face as he gazed at her lips had sparks of electricity coursing through her body, making it feel all too real.

There was only one outcome she could live with now, so she did the only thing that made sense. Y/n’s hands poked out of the jacket around her, griping onto the material of Dean’s button-down shirt and pulling him down to her. Their lips met in the middle, both of their eyes fluttering closed upon contact. Dean’s lips were frozen against her own before his brain caught up to his body and he finally responded to her action.

Her knuckles were white where she kept his body as close to her as their position would allow. The rumble of a growl could be felt in his chest as he got her to open up to him, sucking her tongue into his mouth. Y/n basked in the flavor of whiskey on his tongue and couldn’t fight the moan bubbled up inside her.

Dean had to pull back then, the noise she made shooting straight to his dick. Dean moved his fingers through her hair, waiting for her to open her eyes. His soft dimples were the first thing she noticed amongst his smile when she finally came back to reality.

“Hey,” He breathed.

“Hey,” Dean pecked her lips once more, just needing to feel her again before she ran away. “Are you happy now?”

Dean chuckled, dropping his forehead to hers. “I think happier than I ever could have imagined.” The pair of them chuckled together before Dean tipped her chin back up to him and kissed her again, refusing to let anything ruin the moment he had never thought he needed before today.

Forevers: @polina-93 @22sarah08 @callmekda @hobby27 @dawnie1988 @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce @sleepylunarwolf @stiles-stilinski-24-dylan @akshi8278 @superfanficnatural @malfoysqueen14 @deanwanddamons @waywardbeanie @emoryhemsworth @talesmaniac89 @winchest09 @katehuntington @flamencodiva @janicho88 @anathewierdo @ellewritesfix05 @mrsjenniferwinchester @jensengirl83 @lyarr24 @tranquility-or-chaos

#dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x you #dean x reader #benny lafitte x reader #benny lafitte #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester fanfic #dean winchester fic #dean winchester #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural fanfic #supernatural fic #spn fanfic #spn fic #spn #supernatural #alex writes #mine #the wedding date

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wormstacheangel · 4 years ago

Text

Regrets in Heaven

Hello. I was gonna just write the scene with Jimmy but wanted to write Ellen in because Samantha wanted to be in the finale and I love her so much. Oh this is happy ending story btw cause I will never hurt you guys like that. We are in enough pain.

I should also say, the whole Dean death scene honestly felt like he gave up. To me at least. So I just write Dean like that and he regrets doing so.

Word Count: 2761

Bobby got up from his chair as finished off his beer. Dean looked up at him wondering where he could be going when he just got here, the beer still full from the one crap sip he took of it. “Well come on. Ain’t getting any deader.”

“Is that what we do here? Dead jokes?”

Bobby shrugs easily as Dean starts to follow him towards the entrance. “It’s funny cause it’s true.”

Dean rolled his eyes, a fond smile growing on his lips.

Bobby stopped mid doorway to face Dean again. “Oh shoot! Wait, Dean, about Ca-”

“Dean!” Dean looked away from Bobby and his eyes widened when he saw the familiar figure walking over to him with arms wide open, welcoming. “Oh come here! Give me a damn hug for keeping me waiting for so long.”

“Ellen,” Dean sighed happily as soon as he was in her arms. His face dipped low to hide in her shoulders. “I’m sorry for keeping you waiting.”

She squeezes him. “Wish you kept me waiting a little longer.” She pulls away and reaches to take his face in her hands. Looking at him as if trying to read his whole life in his eyes. “I’m so sorry it ended this way for you, honey.”

“I’m fine with it.” Dean automatically responded but she must have heard the bullshit in his voice. Her eyebrows raised and she gave him the familiar don’t-you-dare-lie-to-me-boy kind of look only a mom can give. “I’m trying to be at least.”

She smiled warmly at him and patted one of his cheeks, a little too hard, before she stepped away from him. “Yeah, takes a while to accept it but that boy of yours fixed this place,” She motioned to the roadhouse. “Nobody has to sneak around anymore. Ash is out there helping Go-oh, um Jack, with the whole heaven thing. Who knew our Ash would be side by side with the great almighty.”

Dean smiles at the mention of his kid. Trying to picture Ash and Jack working together but the thought of it alone was giving him a headache he doesn’t want to be around.

“Does Jack visit often?” Dean asked while following Ellen to the bar. He sat at a stool and then almost fell off when Jo popped up from behind with a bright grin. “Son of a- For fuck’s sake, Jo! Don’t fucking do that.”

Jo laughed and placed a cold beer on the counter. “Hi to you too, Dean.”

Dean reached across the bar to give her an awkward hug but squeezed her nonetheless. “Jo, still sticking around the roadhouse?”

“For now.” She pulled back to smile at him. “Kinda wanna explore as soon as your kid and Ash fix the whole place up. He’s a good kid by the way.”

“Yeah, he’s great.” Ellen says from behind the bar now. “Called Bobby grandpa once and had him blubbering like a fool for an hour.”

Bobby blushed under his trucker hat, making a noise of distaste but not denying it so Dean laughed. Reaching to touch Bobby’s shoulder. “Hey, the kid needs one grandfather who doesn’t want to kill him. Glad it’s you, Bobby.”

“Yeah, whatever.” Bobby grumbled and they all laughed.

Soon more friends and family started walking in to visit. First came Charlie and Dean had to force himself to let her go but followed her for most of the time. Kevin came in and Dean picked him up into a bear hug, “Kevin freaking Solo made it to heaven!”

The place started to fill in pretty quickly after that. Dean spent most of the time hugging old friends and catching up with those he lost a long time ago. Even victims they couldn’t save came to visit him to thank him for saving friends and family. It was a crowded house by the end of the day.

Music blasting and drinks spilling everywhere. There was laughter and life everywhere he looked. It was everything he wanted but he could still feel that knot in his stomach because he knew something was missing. Someone was missing.

Dean needed some air and excused himself from the group to walk outside. Once again ready to pray. Hoping that he could hear him.

Dean sat back down on one of the rocking chairs and leaned his head back with his eyes closed, a smile on his lips. Picturing his angel smiling back at him, looking back at him with a glow that he always carried. Not his grace but just the pure energy of Cas.

“Cas,” Dean starts and he could already feel the tears forming. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I gave up on… everything. I should have tried harder to live but I thought that maybe - Billie once told me that when I die I would be sent to the Empty. I hoped - no. I’m sorry I shouldn’t have given up like that. I was weak. I was excited to see you but that was just… just a waste of your sacrifice.”

Dean didn’t say anything as he rocked a few times in silence. Then he took a deep breath as he continued his prayer.

“I miss you. Wish you were here so I can tell you. To tell you everything.” Dean opened his eyes with a heavy sigh and was going to head back inside when he froze. His eyes falling on the person looking at him from across the dirt path. “Cas?”

Dean was already running towards him ready to bring him into his arms but Cas held his hands out to stop him.

“Whoa! Whoa, Dean, it’s me! It’s um, Jimmy!” Jimmy looked at him with wide eyes and then placed a hand on his chest as he let out a sigh of relief when Dean dropped his arms. “I thought you were gonna tackle me for a second.”

“I-I’m sorry.” Dean saw the face of the man he loved but then noticed the glow was not around him. “I thought you were-”

“Cas, yeah heard you.” Jimmy motioned towards the rocking chair. “You pray out loud you know that?”

Dean shuffled his feet as he looked down at the dirt. Not being able to look at him anymore. The wrong voice coming out of his mouth. “Yeah, I just wanna make sure he hears me.”

“Yeah? Does that work cause I’ve been praying to him all these years too but nothing.”

“What… what do you want with Cas?”

“I wanna know how my daughter is doing. He promised to take care of her of my wife but-”

“Yeah, sorry about her.” Dean motioned for the rocking chairs. “But I can catch you up on Claire if you want. As her honorary uncle and all that.”

“Oh no,” Jimmy’s face fell at that but followed Dean to the rocking chair’s. Dean was glad the chair’s sat next to each other so he could just look ahead and not at Jimmy. “No offense but I was hoping she stayed far from you.”

“Too bad. She texted me and Cas all the time. Mostly dumb things and her reassuring us that’s she fine.”

They sat there for a while Dean bragging about Claire like a proud father. Not looking at Jimmy the whole time. Even when he went silent or he made a gasping noise because Dean told him the close calls Claire had to go through.

“And she likes… hunting?” Jimmy asked again and Dean let out a breath of a laugh. “And girls?”

“Yeah. Last I heard she and Kaia were looking for a place of their own.”

“Ah.” Jimmy hummed before he clapped his hands together. “That’s great. I’m glad my little girl is happy and alive.”

Dean hummed with a nod and then they both sat in silence for a while.

“I should get going. Amelia is waiting for me. She didn’t want to come and welcome you.” He stood up and Dean followed after him to walk him off the porch at least. Jimmy turned around to face him and it felt like a punch in a gut to see those eyes. He held his hand out for Dean to take but Dean couldn’t make himself touch him. Jimmy closed his fist and took his hand back. “Okay, well, thank you for taking care of my daughter all these years. I was hoping Cas would be here but-”

“He’s dead.” Dean says it quickly before Jimmy keeps talking about him.

Jimmy looks at him and smiles. “Yes, we all are.”

“No, I mean he’s not in heaven he’s in the…” Dean couldn’t make himself say it.

“Dean,” Jimmy reaches over and touches Dean’s shoulder. Forcing him to look back at those baby blues that didn’t shine like Cas’s. “Cas was the one that invited me to this party of yours. He said he was going to meet me here as soon as he was done working with God.”

Dean opened his mouth to say something but his mouth went dry. Cas. Cas is here?

“But talking to you was enough.” He says as he starts to walk away again. “When he comes, tell him to come visit when he has time. You can visit too if you like. Maybe next time you can look at me while we talk.”

Dean watched Jimmy get into a car and then disappear from his view. Leaving him dumbstruck but his heart raced in anticipation.

Dean closed his eyes again, “Cas? You have your ears on? Cause if you can hear me and you don’t get your feathery ass down-”

“No need to threaten me. I’m right here.” He hears the familiar voice, deep and rough. He sounded tired and Dean opened his eyes to see him walking over to him. His shoulders hunched over more than usual. “Sorry to keep you waiting. I wanted to be the first to welcome you but we lost Ash in a different dimension for a few minutes and Jack was freaking out. You know how bad that is.”

Cas fell into the chair in a huff.

“It was a long day.” Cas finished as he closed his eyes with a sigh.

Dean watched him. Looked him over once, twice, three times not sure how to move forward with this conversation. Should he continue the small talk or go straight to the unspoken confession.

“Dean, stop staring. It’s creepy.” Cas cracked a smile and Dean huffed out a laugh, rolling his eyes but didn’t stop looking at him. Watching Cas lean forward on the chair, elbows on his knees, while he looks up at him, his eyes bright and glowing. This was Cas. “Sorry I didn’t answer your prayers.”

“I’m used to it.”

Cas flinched at that. “Yes, sorry.”

“What the hell you’ve been here since-!”

“I don’t want to fight, Dean.” Cas reaches hesitantly to take Dean’s hand. He was gonna pull away but instead he gripped Cas’s hand tightly in his own. “I missed you too.”

Dean walked forward so he could stand in between Cas’s legs. Watching as Cas looked up at him with curious round eyes. Head tilted just a little.

“You’re so stupid. You know that.”

Cas nodded with a teasing smile. “Yes, I learn from the best.”

Dean couldn’t help but smile back at him as he reached to cradle Cas’s face with his free hand. “I missed you so much, Cas.” Dean feels Cas’s skin under his palm and he feels his chest tighten up. “I thought I really lost you, Cas. I thought-”

“Me too.”

“Cas,” Dean leaned down so his forehead could touch Cas’s own. “Let me talk okay?”

“O-of course.”

Dean smiled as he closed his eyes. Feeling the radiating warmth that always surrounded Cas. Home.

“I love you, Cas.” Dean finally says and it sounds off because his throat feels like he swallowed a bunch of sandpaper but he keeps talking. “I love you and I’m sorry I gave up on life when you sacrificed yourself for me to live. I just… I wasn’t thinking. I was dumb. I’m so sorry.”

Cas quickly let go of Dean’s hand and then pulled him down to make him awkwardly sit on his lap. Dean was going to protest the whole thing out of instinct but he took a deep breath to calm down. Letting Cas cradle him to his chest and hold him so tightly, comforting him with the touch Dean craved for years.

“Dean,” Cas starts as Dean starts to relax in his hold. Feeling Cas lean down and press his forehead down on Dean’s own. “I love you so much and I’m so proud of you. You worked so hard and deserve a break. Deserve peace but death is not the answer.”

He was going to open his mouth to agree but Cas pressed a kiss on Dean’s forehead. Making him melt and quiet.

“I will have Jack send you back.” Cas continued.

Dean opened his eyes to argue. He already missed all his friends and family that were still inside the roadhouse partying like it was 1965.

“No arguing. I want you to live, Dean. I want you to find your peace in life. You deserve that.”

“No.” Dean firmly said as he gripped at Cas’s shirt. “Not without you, Cas.”

Cas smiled and let his lips hover over Dean’s face for a few seconds before Dean tilted his head to finally bring their lips together into a long awaited kiss. Dean reached to cradle Cas’s face in one of his hands as Cas held him in his arms, wrapping tightly and securely around him. Promising to never let go again.

“You should go enjoy your party.” Cas says as he pulls away just enough for Dean to breath. “I’ll send you back in the morning.”

Dean clings to him again, hand in Cas’s hair, as he tilts his head to taste his mouth once again. “I want to stay with you.”

Cas hummed as a response with a smile and Dean knew that wasn’t an answer.

Dean positioned himself to be straddling Cas, shocking him in the process so Dean took that opportunity to kiss him once again. Slowly at first before deepening it, feeling Cas’s tongue against his own felt like he was finally in heaven. They made out like that for a while longer before Dean pulled away, Cas making a small whine as he did so.

“Come with me?” Dean snuggled their noses together as he left little kisses all over the angel’s face. “Stay with me? Grow old with me?”

Cas' smile grew bigger at the words. “Of course.”

They both laughed into their next kiss, a tingle of excitement running through them. They are gonna live a long happy together on Earth. Dean will get a job and Cas can do whatever he wants to do as long as he was asleep in Dean’s bed at the end of the day.

They went inside to enjoy their family's company and before the sun rose the next day, they were both back on Earth.

Scaring a mourning Sam and Eileen who were ready to set Dean’s body on the logs for the hunter's funeral.

Jack flew down with them and they had a big family breakfast at a local dinner, after the reunion hugs and tears of course.

“So you and Cas?” Sam nudged Dean as they walked out of the dinner. The brothers watched Eileen and Cas signing to each other too quickly for either of them to keep up while Jack stood between them finishing the lollipop that the waitress gave him, as he grinning inconfusion. Just as lost as the brothers.

“He wants to be human with me.” Dean tells him, sounding just as breathless as he felt. Still in disbelief that an angel actually loved him. “I love him, Sammy.”

“I know.” Sam chuckles. “I’ve known for a while.”

Sam walked ahead and wrapped an arm around Eileen’s shoulder to pull her in close. She hit his arm for interrupting them but Sam leaned down to kiss her. Being forgiven easily.

Cas stretched out a welcoming hand out and Dean took it quickly, twining their fingers together and bringing Cas’s hand up to his lips for a kiss.

“Okay, let’s go home.” Dean loudly announced as he looked around his family’s faces. Remembering the faces of the family that were waiting for him upstairs and grateful for the family he has here on Earth. He would make this life worth it. Happy.

Tag List: @galaxycastiel

#Also john winchester can fuck off he is not jack's grandpa #Destiel #Deancas #Supernatural #SPN #A More Profound OTP #My Writing #destiel fanfic #destiel ficlet #suicide cw #WormstacheWrites

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jawritter · 4 years ago

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Second Chance

Part 1

Warning: Angst, heartbreak, unrequited love, young mistakes, very light suggestion of past smut, Jensen is a bit of an asshole. Language, talk about depression, I think that’s it.

Summary: No one has life figured out at 18, but can one mistake made and twenty-one years of hurt and regret be fixed with an “I’m sorry?”

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader

Word Count: 2474

A/N: This is one of my older stories from WattPad that I wanted to bring over here and clean up a little. This is completely unbeta’d, and all mistakes are mine! Please do not copy my work! Feedback is gold! Part two will be posted tomorrow! Hope you all enjoy this one!

Want More? Check out my masterlist!

***MASTERLIST***

21 years ago

"So this is it? You've made your choice, you’re leaving me, all because I won’t follow you to Hollywood to chase some stupid acting career?"

Tears were falling freely down your face now, you were unable to hold them back, your heart felt like it was about to break into a thousand pieces and fall to the ground at your feet.

You loved him, you really did. In fact, you loved him for as long as you could remember. There never was a moment when you couldn't remember not being in love with him.

Even when you were just small children, attending the same Sunday school class at your parent’s church. Even when you were in grade school, and he was part of the group of bullies that used to pull your ponytail then run away.

You loved him.

So much so, that in back of his truck, parked out on the landing prom night you gave him everything, and he swore he’d always love you, swore he'd always be with you, even though you knew that was a lie you loved him anyway.

Even when he said he hadn't really slept with that girl from the drama club, and you knew deep, deep down that he had, and that he didn't love you, you still loved him anyway.

Even now, as your heart lay on the ground in a thousand tiny pieces, never to be put back together again as his olive-green eyes started into yours with no emotion there at all, you loved him.

There was no way you'd walk out of here tonight the same person.

He had destroyed you, broken you.

"If you can't support me then I don't need your kind of negativity. Either you come with me to California, or we're done, that's my final offer." Jensen's voice was calm, his demeanor was calm, which seemed strange to you when you felt like your whole world was crashing down around you.

He knew you weren't going to go with him. He knew you would choose to stay even before he had asked you to go. He did it knowing this was a way to get rid of you, the girl he was dating because of no other reason than he felt sorry for you, and you were an easy lay on prom night.

You say nothing, just grab your purse off the foot of his bed, and your jacket off the back of the computer chair that sat in the corner of the room, pulling it over your shoulders as the gut wrenching pain worked itself deeper into your very soul.

You couldn't look at him. If you did you'd breakdown, and you'd never make it out of here. You'd die right here of a broken heart.

You walked out of Jensen Ackles’s life that night, out of his room, through the warm house, out into the pouring rain, and he never tried to stop you.

Even though you left your heart on the floor of his bedroom, you never looked back, it just hurt too much.

Present Day:

"Come on Y/N, this will be fun! You never go out just to have any fun! When was the last time you've even been on a date with anyone? Jessie and I will be there the whole time! Come on!! Come grab some drinks, meet a guy, loosen the fuck up!"

Sherry meant well, she really did, and knowing that is the only thing that kept you from rolling your eyes at her, and walking away from this conversation.

You had been alone for so long that you had adapted to it, and didn't really feel the need to go sit in some roadhouse bar, and watch your friends drink and whore themselves to whatever barroom hero they could find that night. It was just more than you could stomach.

As far as a date or having even been with a guy, it wasn't that you hadn't tried, because you had. Your heart just wasn't in it, so it was just a waste of time and energy, that would enevidably mount to nothing.

Even though you didn't want to admit it to even yourself, you had never had feelings for another guy ever again. Even though Jensen had moved off to California, and was successful, you were never able to do the same.

Hell, he was overly successful. He had been on multiple shows, and in a few movies, his current show now running on the fifteenth, and final season.

He had a wife, if you could call her that. Everyone in Dallas that knew Jensen personally knew that she was spreading her legs for that little creep that always followed him around, claiming to be Jensen's best friend, Steve.

He had three beautiful children, he had it all...

You had a memory and a broken heart that you never were able to piece back together.

Thanks to him you never were able to fall in love with another man, because no one ever measured up to the way he made you feel.

Never.

He was it for you, but apparently he didn't feel the same way about you, because if he did, he would have never let you walk away.

"Fuck it, I'll come, but only because you guys aren't going to leave me the hell alone if I don't," you say, standing up from your cubical with your coffee cup in hand, and making your way toward the breakroom with Sherry hot on your tail, skipping like she'd won a battle, or scored a touchdown, or something.

Eight hours later you found yourself sitting with Sherry in a booth at the back of the bar, watching all the other patrons drink, dance, and basically fuck each other in booths and on dance floor.

Then there was you.

Sitting in the corner with your friend, nursing the same beer that you'd been nursing for over an hour, and not looking at anyone in particular, just waiting on these idiots you came with to get enough so that you can go home, and crawl into your bed with your Netflix.

"Come on Y/N, get up and come dance with me! Get out of this seat and move around! You’re never going to meet someone acting like a granny!"

You just sit there and stare at her in a way that screamed you could really gut her like a fish if you had a knife.

"I’m not interested in finding anyone Sherry, I'm fine the way I am, alone, the way I always have been," picking your beer up you take another swig, finishing off the rest of the bottle. "I'm also tired of sitting here bringing your party down, you go have fun, I'll see you guys at work Monday."

You stand up from the booth, and start to walk off when you run chest long with the hard body of a tall man. It would have knocked you on your ass if he hadn't reached out and caught you.

"Oh God, I'm so sorry! I'm a clutz!" he yelled over the music.

You didn't have to look up, you would have known that voice if you were clinically dead. It was the same voice that has spent the last twenty-one years haunting your dreams as well as your nightmare's.

You looked up to see Jensen's olive green orbs staring back into your (y/e/c) ones, his mouth gaping open slightly as the realization hit him of just who you were as well.

"Y/n? Is that really you?" he said, letting go of you and taking a step back.

You didn't know what to do, you just stood there a moment trying to make your voice work, trying not to slap him, trying not to cry, trying not to scream.

Sherry was at your side in an instant, she was your best friend, and knew everything about you, so she knew all about Jensen and your past history together. She also knew you were still in love with him.

"She doesn't need your shit Jensen, why don't you go find something pretty to entertain yourself with for tonight, and leave Y/N alone," she spat at him like an angry cat.

You looked at her dumbfounded, still trying to make your voice work.

"Excuse me?" he said, taking a step back and looking at Sherry like if she was a man, she would have found herself on her ass in a hurry.

"You heard me dick, she doesn't want to talk to you!" Sherry said, taking a step forward toward Jensen like an angry mother hen who just about had enough of his shit.

"Sherry, it's okay, really," you say, grabbing her shoulder to keep her from punching Jensen in the face. "We just bumped into each other, he didn't do anything wrong, I ran into him. Why don't you go find Jessie, and I'll meet up with you guys in a minute?"

She looks at you like she had so many things she wanted to say, but decided against it all at once.

"Fine, but if this asshole gets out of line, kick him in the balls, and call me to finish him off," she says, walking by Jensen and purposely bumping into him as she went.

"What's her fucking problem?" Jensen asks you loud enough for her to hear him, seeing as she shot him the finger behind her back as she went away.

You had to bite your lip to hide the snicker that threatened to escape your lips at her.

"Sorry, I'm pretty sure she was a pit bull in her past life," you say, watching her take a seat next to Jessie, making sure she wasn't going to run up behind him, and try to hit him in the head with a bottle or something.

"It's been a long time since I've seen you. How have you been?"

He took a step closer to you, and you backed up. He stopped, noticing how you were avoiding eye contact with him.

"I'm fine," was all you could say, looking at the floor, afraid somehow your heart was going to find a way to give you away.

"You wanna grab a drink with me, or maybe lunch tomorrow? I'm going to be in town for a couple of days, and I'd like to see you again?"

Everything in you wanted to say yes, but at that moment it just wouldn't come. Everything in you wanted to throw yourself into his arms, tell him you’re sorry for all those years ago, everything in you wanted to ask him for another chance, but when he reached up to adjust the ball cap on his head with his left hand the glimmer of the wedding band on his left hand stopped you dead in your tracks.

You didn't think you could hate one piece of jewelry more than you hated that one little silver ring.

"No Jensen, I don't think that's a good idea," you say, looking him in the eye for the second time this evening. He was watching you, searching.

"Y/n, I'm sorry. I should have never made you choose. It was wrong. I was young and didn't know I wanted out of life. I was stupid, and I've regretted since the night you left," he said, trying to take another step toward you.

For the first time in a long time you were angry, after all the grieving, after all the crying after everything you'd done all these years. The pinning, the crying yourself to sleep the night he married her, the week-long vacation you had to take when they had their first child together because the depression hit you so hard you couldn’t keep anything down, or get out of bed, the suffering. He'd ruined you all those years ago, and "I'm sorry" wasn't going to fix it.

You didn't say anything, you couldn't. You try to step around him and walk away when he grabs your arm, stopping you in your tracks.

God how you'd wished to feel that touch over the years. You fought everything in you not to fall into his arms right then.

"Jensen, you made your choice, I made mine. You have a family now, a wife, and children. For twenty-one years what you did has hurt me, for twenty-one years I've cried over you, and it's obvious that you haven't given me even a second thought. So tell me exactly why the hell I’d come to have lunch or drink with you now? Leave me alone, you’ve done enough damage to me over the years."

Ripping your arm away from his grip you stalk toward the door.

You walked away and left him standing there looking at his hands, an unreadable expression on his face. He'd lost you again tonight, and he knew it, some things he couldn't ever fix no matter how much he wanted to, and he'd fucked this up so badly he didn't know if it could be repaired.

"What did you tell him?" Sherry asked you as soon as you all climbed into your Uber.

Jessie did not say a word. She'd been silently texting since you all walked out of the bar.

You shook your head, brushing away the tears that were streaming down your face with your hand harshly.

"He tried to apologize, and I told him how much he'd hurt me. He had wanted to go have lunch or buy me a drink tonight, but that damn ring... I'm not going to be someone's homewrecker."

She hugged you as you tried to compose yourself. You didn't know how to move on from this. It was like a giant set back. One you didn't know how you'd never recover from. For the second time, you walked away, for the second time, you'd let him go. You didn't know If you'd have the strength to do it a third time if you ran into him again because to be honest, you felt like your heart, or what was left of it, was being torn apart in front of you all over again.

All those years you had never gotten it all back together, but now it was completely and utterly broken all over again.

Jessie's POV:

Jessie sat silently watching you and Sherry, Sherry trying to peace you back together, while you try not to fall apart completely.

She pulled out her phone again, a text message from Jensen was waiting for her.

J: She hates me. She wouldn't even talk to me.

Jessie: She's pretty torn up right now J. She still loves you. I told you this wasn't going to be easy. Let's give her a little time, then we'll give it another try.

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Tag List: @lyarr24 @amandamdiehl @deanwanddamons @imabitch4jensen @rvgrsbrns @bi-danvers0 @onethirstyunicorn @i-love-superhero @akshi8278 @lyss-dw79 @magssteenkamp @lemondropirwin @squirrelnotsam @hobby27 @spnbaby-67 @mrsjenniferwinchester @defenderrosetyler @screechingartisancashbailiff @thecreatiivecorner @aflamboyanceofgays @vicmc624 @busy-bee-angel-misska @justanotherwinchester @brilovesdeanwinchester @idksupernatural

#jensen ackles #jensen ackles angst #jensen ackles oneshot #jensen ackles fanfiction #jensen ackles fanfic #jensen ackles x you #jensen ackles x reader #x reader inserts #jensen x reader #jensen x you #dean winchester #spn fanfiction #spn fanfic #spn one shot #jawritter #second chance

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opheliadying · 4 years ago

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How to Make the Supernatural Series Finale Better:

Before we get started. I wrote this very quickly so there are probably spelling and grammar error, but I’s totally appreciate it if someone read it. It is a bit long though. Also, please note that I’m not a big shipper of any of the Ships on the show. Everything I highlight here makes the most sense to me as someone who loves all the characters and appreciates all the Ships. I give options for Destiel shippers and people who don’t ship it.

First, Let’s Start With What I Liked About It:

Dean got a dog (aka Miracle). In the past, we’ve seen Sam get attached to dogs, but Dean getting attached to one shows his emotional growth as a character. In the past, the idea of loving anyone other than family baffled Dean. Now Dean sees that he’s full of love (thanks to Cas) and can give it out more freely.

Jared and Jensen’s acting. While I don’t like that Dean died the way he did, the scene itself was beautifully acted and made me bawl my eyes out. I was also emotionally affected by Jared’s growing old montage (you could feel the grief in every scene). No matter what we think of the writing, we must tip our hats off to that acting. I personally believe that Jared’s only said this was one of his favorite episodes because of the emotional scenes between Sam and Dean and to try to make the fans feel better about the show edning.

The throwaway line about Castiel. While I would’ve like to have seen a lot more. It was a comfort to know he was with Jack and not in the Empty.

Heaven. I’m glad that we saw the original Bobby, and that we saw Sam and Dean Reunite in Heaven.

Now, What I Didn’t Like About the Finale:

Dean’s acceptance. Dean acting like he and Sam couldn’t fight for Castiel and not contacting Jack. (Just makes no sense.)

Dean’s death. Dean died way too young and without being able to enjoy his freedom.

Sam’s grief. Sam lived the rest of his knife with heavy grief. He never got over Dean’s death because Dean never got to truly live.

Eileen’s absence. They didn’t even show Sam using ASL for us to know if that was Eileen. What? (I’m just choosing to believe).

Where’s Miracle? The dog should have joined Dean in Heave.

Where’s Cas and Jack? Castiel and Jack should have had screen time.

A lacking reunion. There should have been a bigger heavenly reunion.

Bad aging. They struggled to age Sam, like what’s that about?

How the Episode Could Have Been 1000x Better:

Redirect focus. Instead of a weak monster of the week story, focus the final episode of Sam and Dean growing old and living their lives.

Sam and Dean’s story together before death. They hunt for several more years but then decide to settle down. They become the new Bobby’s and help other hunters out by answering calls and pitching in when needed. They schedule an annual hunting trip every year to relive the “good old days”. They live as neighbors (either beside each other or in the same neighborhood). They are a frequent part of each other’s lives. They make the Bunker a community place for hunters and take turns monitoring it.

Castiel’s story before death (with two options). Option one (the heterosexual option), Sam and Dean pray to Jack about Casitel. Jack comes and tells them Cas is helping him fix the mess Chuck left behind but that he’ll be along when he can. A few years later, Castiel and Jack visit the Winchesters (everyone hugs). Dean tells Castiel he loves him too, but doesn’t know how to love him romantically. Castiel says that’s okay, that it’s enough to just be loved by him at all. Castiel doesn’t fall in love with anyone else, he is only able to truly love Dean, he stays an Angel and is content with his life. Option two (the homosexual option), Sam and Dean pray to Jack about Casitel. Jack comes and tells them Cas is helping him fix the mess Chuck left behind but that he’ll be along when he can. A few months later, Castiel and Jack visit the Winchesters (everyone hugs). Dean tells Castiel that he loves him too, that he fills whole when Castiel’s in his life. He expresses worry about not knowing how to be sexual with a man. It makes him nervous to feel so virginal about it. They connect foreheads, Cas tells him that’s okay, they’ll figure it out and they do (a kiss isn’t necessary but I’m down with it). Castiel becomes human, Sam removes his grace and keep it safe in the Bunker. Dean and Castiel adopt a girl and give her the same name Mary Samantha Winchester.

Dean’s story before death (with two options). Option one (the heterosexual option), Dean opens up a bar where hunters come often (like the Roadhouse). He hangs up photos of all the people they’ve lost along the way. He has a kid with a woman he had a one-night stand with, they don’t love each other but they’re good friends. His child is a daughter, he names her Mary Samantha Winchester. Option two (the bisexual option), like above Dean, tells Castiel he loves him and that he’s nervous, but they figure it out. Dean tells Sam he’s bi and that he loves Cas, he’s nervous about what Sam will say, but Sam smiles and hugs him. He tells him he’s happy for the two of them and that he always felt they had a strong connection. Dean and Castiel have a small wedding, only their beautiful made family is invited. No one judged them, everyone is happy for them. Jack is there, so happy for two for his Dads (Sam’s story below). Castiel becomes human, Sam removes his grace and keep it safe in the Bunker. Dean and Castiel adopt a girl and give her the same name Mary Samantha Winchester.

Sam’s story before death. Sam and Eileen get together, get married, and have the same son (because I’m choosing to believe that was her). Jack is also at their wedding and so happy for them. They name him Robert Dean Winchester and call him Bobby. Sam goes back to school, becomes a professor of mythology and tells his students “made up” stories about two brothers who fought all kinds of monsters. Some of his students secretly think he's a big Supernatural (the books) fan, but all his students like him. They think he’s warm and quirky.

Jack’s story. Jack sees Sam, Dean, and Cas weekly to monthly for several years. There comes a point where the system he creator works well on it’s on and needs little interference, He lives his life helping as many people as he can and spending time with his family. Dean tells him he is a part of their family and apologizes for ever saying otherwise. Sam, Cas, And Dean all at some point call him Son and Jack feels like he belongs. (Maybe he falls in love at some point, with an angel or a witch?) He remains a good God became of the love he learned from the Winchesters and Cas (who is also a Winchester damn it). He restores all the other worlds/dimensions, the people from Apoloaypse world go back they ask that he heal the world but not change their fates, they like who they are now and the families they’ve formed. We see Charlie/Stevie and Bobby happy in this world. Kevin is sent to Heaven. We see how Jack made a deal with the Empty, he put her to sleep and made the Empty quite again before he got Cas (which she agreed to). Jack restores Donatello’s soul.

Chuck’s story. Chuck lives as a human for the rest of his life, many of those years are miserable until he meets someone that makes him feel true love for the first time. He writes a letter to Sam and Dean apologizing for everything and thanking them for turning him human. The author becomes a character in his favorite story, and he’s so happy he has no say over the end.

Amara’s story. Amara wishes to be human, so Jack makes her a human vessel but keeps her powers (which she agrees to). She lives out a beautiful life filled with love and luxury. Chuck write to Amara too. She does eventually forgive Chuck, not because he deserves it, but because that just who she is.

Dean’s death (with two options). Option one (the heterosexual option), Dean does die on a hunting trip in his late 50s to 60s, he gives Sam the same beautiful speech and they share the same emotional intensity (and head touch). He goes to heaven, Bobby and Miracle are there to greet him. They have the same conversation and he goes on a drive. On the drive he runs into Castiel, they have a heart to heart before he goes on to find Sammy. Option two (the bisexual option), the same as before BUT, Sam calls Castiel first. Castiel gets there in time to say goodbye. Jack does come down, but with Dean’s declining health, he tells Jack he’s ready to go. They all respect his decision and say goodbye. He goes to heaven, Bobby and Miracle are there to greet him. They have the same conversation and he goes on a drive. On the drive he runs into Castiel, and say’s “it’s about time” but it didn’t feel that long to Dean. They embrace tearfully.

Castiel’s death (with two options). Option one (the heterosexual option), he doesn’t die. He stays an Angel. Option two (the homosexual option), after Dean dies on a hunting trip he moves in with Sam and Eileen. We see him struggle with grief, he cries beside Baby and sniffs Dean's clothes. He lives another five years and dies of cancer. When he arrives in Heaven, he’s on a highway, and Dean drives up to him in Baby and say’s “it’s about time” but it didn’t feel that long to Dean. They embrace tearfully.

Eileen’s death. Eileen dies a few months before Sam of old age (aka heart failure). She goes to heaven, Dean and Castiel find her on their drive. They welcome her into the car with smiles.

Sam’s death. We do see a montage of scenes with Sam struggling with grief. He does break down in the Impala, he cries into Cas’ trench coat, and he hugs Eileen's pillow as he cries. His son is there and his niece to support him through it. Sam dies a few months after Eileen. His son Bobby, and niece Mary, come in and Bobby says goodbye like in the show, but before Sam fades away he see’s Jack in the back of the room (his first son) and he knows everything is going to be okay. He goes to heaven, Dean, Castiel, and Eileen meet him on the road. They all have an individual tearful moment together. Sam and Dean have an intense hug, Sam and Cas hug, Eileen and Sam kiss, and he pets Miracle. They get into the car and drive.

Heaven. Heaven is changed as Bobby said, Jack and Casitel did good. (yes, John is there, he’s an ass, but the boys would want him there for some reason). The four of them drive up to the Roadhouse to find Bobby and Jack waiting outside. Jack tells them every one is waiting, Bobby says “family don’t end with blood”, they open the doors for them, and we see everyone they lost along the way in the Roadhouse: John, Mary, Ellen, Jo, Ash, Charlie, Kevin, etc (literally everyone except maybe Crowley and Rowena because IDK how that would work?). Castiel, Eileen, Jack, and Bobby walk inside. Dean takes Sam by the shoulder. Dean says, “we did good” and Sam says “yeah, want to go have some chick flick moments?”. Dean laughs and says, “I love chick flicks.”, and Sam laughs and says “I know you do” and they join their family. We get a scene of them all reunited with “Carry on My Wayward Son” playing in the background. Fade to black.

Anyway, that’d how I think they could have made the finale better while still using the basic structure the created. So yeah, I’m heartbroken. Thanks for reading.

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supernaturallyobsessedchic · 4 years ago

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Save Him

Warning: A total rewrite of Carry on because…well…it’s shit. And maybe not from start to finish, the beginning half of the episode was good. No other warnings, just a feel good fic to help cope with the end of SPN.

Pairing: Dean x Reader

A/N: Events are after the fight with the vampires.

Word Count: 1,369

Mobile Masterlist

Summary: Sam and Dean go on one last hunt. But just before the older Winchester can accept his fate, his little brother fights for him one last time.

(My opinion, the acting was awesome. Jared and Jensen deserve all the Oscars after that performance. Just, story-wise, it’s shit. Too fast and rushed. And out of character, Sam didn’t even call 911, or put an attempt into saving Dean. They just accepted ‘fate’. After they said they’re better together, and worthless apart. Dean saying, he sees him retiring from the life in Season 13, and actually seeming like he was looking forward to it. Sure, it’s the only way to end the show, but too soon. Dean deserved more, and Sam’s kids deserve an uncle. The boys deserve to grow a family of their own. But that is just my opinion, Jensen and Jared will forever be my favorites.)

“It’s okay,” Dean says. Fighting off the pain as best as he could. “It’s okay, it’s good.”

“It’s good.” He says, smiling.

“No Dean, this is not good.” Sam argues. Clearly upset and freaking out his older brother is dying and there’s nothing he can do about it.

Unless…

“Jack!” he calls out, pacing the barn.

“Sam, don’t.” Dean groans. “He said he was hands off.”

“Jack if you can hear me, save him. You owe us that much!”

Moments later Jack appears in the barn.

“Jack, save him.”

“Of course, Sam. You don’t have to ask me twice.” Jack says. Snapping his fingers. Snapping the boys back to the bunker, Dean fully healed. Miracle running over to them, greeting them with licks and tail wags.

“But I thought—”

“I owed you guys that much. For all the things I’ve done to you, Mary. I just wanted to not only make it up to you guys, but to give you a proper chance at life.” Jack explains.

Dean stood there, speechless and taken aback by Jack’s reasoning. He was still wanting their forgiveness, and he did it by bringing Dean back to life.

“A proper chance?” Dean asked.

“I got Cas out of the Empty and we’re working on making a world just for monsters. So, this world can be free of them. No more monsters, no more hunting.” Jack says.

“That’s amazing Jack, thank you.” Sam says.

“Yeah, that’s awesome.”

Jack smiles on his family. “Anything for my family.” And vanishes.

“So,” Sam goes. “What now?”

“Now, we start living.”

5 years later…

After 5 years of leaving the bunker and living the apple pie life. Sam, managed to get back together with Eileen, and have been married to her for two years. Sam working at a law firm agency, having gone back to law school, and graduated recently with honors.

Dean’s story. Dean always liked working around cars, he liked working with his hands. Dean tried his hand at school, wanting to open up his own garage. Not being a fan of being bossed around and such, following in Bobby’s footsteps. Opening a garage, scrap yard, fixing up cars, reselling them. Restoring them. At Winchester’s Restorations.

It wasn’t until a few years later, after his garage has been opened, and the Winchester’s are living comfortably in their apple pie life, he had a visit he didn’t know he was waiting for his whole life.

It was a stormy night, his garage normally closes around 8pm, later than most garages in Lawrence Kansas.

A car pulls up to his garage, sounding god awful. The engine making a noise even he didn’t like the sounds of it.

Hurrying outside, he urged the driver to shut off her car. She does so.

Grabbing her things, she gets out of her car.

“My car has been making this noise all day today, and just as I’m driving home from work the check engine light came on.” She explained. “Now, I know you do restorations, but what about just, regular like, garage stuff like fix up cars like mine.” She asked.

“I know what you mean, and yes, I do that stuff too. Let’s get you squared away so I can do it tomorrow.” Dean says with a smile.

They hurry inside to get out of the rain.

Dean grabbed the correct paperwork, having her fill out her information of her car and her contact information and the problem. And handing it back to him.

“Alright, I’ll start on it first thing tomorrow.” He tells her.

“Thank you so much.”

“It’s not a problem.” He says with a smile. “Do you have a ride home miss?”

“Um, no I don’t. I’m new to Lawrence.” She says.

“It’s totally fine, I have no problem giving you a ride, if you like.” Dean offered.

“I don’t know you.”

“Just thought I’d offer.” Dean says.

“My name is y/n. I’m from Nebraska, and I’m a writer.” She says.

“Dean Winchester, I’m was born and raised here.”

She nods. As the two get to know each other.

Dean happily gave her the ride, she accepted happily given the storm not lighting up.

As Dean sat outside her house, while she gathered her things and got ready to head in.

“I really enjoyed your company Dean, maybe you should call me some time.” She offers.

“I’ll take you up on that offer sweetheart. See you soon.” Dean smiles.

She smiles back, as she exits the impala, she’s taking a number of times looking back at Dean. She shuts the car door behind her, running inside so as to not get soaked by the rain.

Dean keeps an eye out to make sure she is in the house, safe and sound before driving off.

Only to make a turn seeing the road flooded. Turning around he tries another route to getting out of the neighborhood, getting the same road.

It had been raining all day that day, and well into the evening. It’s no surprise if the creeks and rivers have gone over their banks, or even the storm drains having a hard time keeping up with the rainfall. So, he drives back to her place.

Rings her doorbell. She opens the door after a few beats. Dressed in her more comfortable clothes, sweats, oversized t-shirt and a pair of big warm socks.

“Problem?” she asks, when she sees him.

“Roads are flooded, kind of trapped here.” He says sheepishly.

“It’s not a problem, come on in.” she offers

She had popped in a couple of frozen pizza’s in the oven while Dean got himself comfortable.

She headed up to her guest bedroom, where she had spare clothes stashed away. From number ex-boyfriends who have forgotten most of their clothes. She grabbed Dean a pair of sweats and a comfy t-shirt.

She heads back downstairs to offer Dean the clothes.

“I have some clothes, hope they fit.” She offers.

“I’m sure it’ll be fine, thanks sweetheart.” He says, taking the clothes.

“Bathroom is down this hall here on the left.” She points out.

Dean makes his way to the bathroom, getting out of his work clothes and into the comfy clothes offered to him.

The beeping of the oven going off as he exits the bathroom.

“Hope you don’t mind, I heated up some pizza.”

“It’s okay, I am starving, thanks for offering.”

She smiles, offering him a styrofoam plate of pizza.

Dean spent the night that night, and every night since then.

After that night, they bonded over stories. She learned of the places he’s been, she knows he’s keeping a major part of his life secret. But maybe it is for the best that she doesn’t know the hell he has been through.

As the years went on, Sam and Dean having families of their own. Sam had his son, who he named after his brother Dean. And Dean having him kids of his own, two boys, twins and a girl. Kevin, Jack and Charlie.

Monsters really were a thing of the past. But the people over the years up to this point, the people Sam and Dean have saved, made stories. Like heroes to legends.

They lived their life, happy and to the fullest.

Sam and Dean died of old age in their homes, surrounded by family and those they love.

Up in heaven, where Bobby sat on the porch of Harvell’s Roadhouse and waited for the boys to enter heaven.

“It’s about time you boys showed up.”

“Bobby?” Dean asks.

“What memory is this?” Sam asks.

“This ain’t a memory. You’re not living in your golden years anymore. Rufus just lives about half mile that way. You’re parents there.” Bobby pointed out.

“Wait, mom and dad are here?” Sam asked. Bobby nods.

Sam taking off, Dean following him.

They catch a glimpse Dean’s Impala, with his old Kansas plates, KAZ 2Y5. Dean excited he sees his old baby again.

“Let’s go see our family.” Sam says. Dean smiles, agreeing.

Dean turning the key in the ignition of the impala, roaring the engine to life.

The radio playing Carry on Wayward Son by Kansas.

“God, I love this song.” Dean sighs.

“Same.” Sam says.

Dean Tag List:

@luci-in-trenchcoats, @supernatural-jackles, @becs-bunker, @mlovesstories, @winchesters-favorite-girl, @winchest09,

Copying and reposting someone else’s content is plagiarism and illegal. This work is property of supernaturallyobsessedchic. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. These works contain material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of these works may be reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from the author / publisher. An electronic reference link to the original posted work may be provided for purposes of promotion or assistance of publication by the readers discretion, if proper credits are given to the author in the re-post. 12/2/2020

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fanfic-corner · 4 years ago

Text

Darling, So It Goes

Happy holidays, @slothbaby424! I may not have had as much time as I would like to have had to work on your @destielsecretsanta2020 fic, but I hope you enjoy it anyway (so sorry but it has not been proofread. At all). And a big thank you to @exmintha for the idea when I was struggling!

Again, here’s the playlist. It’s not necessary, but I like listening to music while writing and it’s got a load of Christmas bops on as well!

And, here’s the fic! It is 4639 words, and here’s the link on AO3 if you prefer.

{o0o}

“Pretty please?”

Dean huffed in annoyance, shifting from foot to foot. He really didn’t want to spend a day being pestered by demanding young children and their parents, but when Donna asked like that… well, he wasn’t a monster. “Fine. But if anyone gets any kind of bodily fluid on me, I am out.”

“I’m sure you’ll be fine, sweetheart,” she replied, grinning wildly, and Dean had to smile back. And so, that was how Dean Winchester found himself decked out in the full Santa outfit - beard and hat included - for the Wayward Sister’s Christmas party.

Ever since they had set up the girl’s home, Jody and Donna had insisted on a big Christmas party. The first year, it was just a way to entertain the kids for the day, but since then it had evolved into an affair of epic standards. Practically the whole of Sioux Falls would show up at one point or another, usually with presents in tow. One year, Jody had confessed to Dean that they probably wouldn’t have been able to keep going without the support they got at Christmas.

To start with, Dean was not a good Santa. There were so many children that he had to keep track of, and who all wanted something and asked awkward questions that he didn’t have the answer to, and the hat was itchy and he could hardly see past the beard. By the time lunch rolled around, however, he had gotten into the swing of things, and was actually starting to enjoy himself.

That was when a stranger dumped a litre of chocolate milk over a guest’s head.

{o0o}

Castiel had been very grateful to get an invitation to a Christmas party, especially one from the people who had helped him adopt his son. He had learnt the hard way that society really doesn’t like gay people adopting kids, even if they were single.

Two hours after arriving, however, he was starting to have second thoughts. There were way more people than he expected and he had never been what someone might call a ‘social butterfly’. More like an ‘anti-social slug’, as Gabriel had once called him. The food was nice, but as it turned out, not all the people were.

“So, where’s your wife? Leave you with the kids, did she?” a man - Zachariah, Castiel thought his name was - said, punching him in the arm slightly harder than necessary.

“Oh, no, I enjoy doing things with Jack. And I’m not married.”

Zachariah looked Castiel up and down, and let out an interesting noise. He supposed it was probably meant to resemble disbelief, but to him, it sounded like an elephant stomping on a whoopee cushion. “Divorced, are you?”

Castiel raised his eyebrows. Did this man realise he was asking wildly inappropriate questions? He had half a mind to say ‘widowed’ just to see his reaction, but he didn’t dare. “No, I’m not.”

Zachariah seemed mildly uneasy at that, as if he wasn’t sure what other options there were left. “Well, I’m sure a nice lady will come along soon.”

“Actually, I’m gay,” Castiel corrected. So what if it wasn’t 100% true? In his opinion, this idiot deserved to be made as uncomfortable as possible.

Zachariah’s reaction was a little more… extreme than he was expecting. And, by extreme, what Castiel meant was that the man seemed to go through several stages - disbelief, at first, then confusion, and then his posture turned rigid and his face started turning a deeper and deeper shade of tomato red - before completely exploding into some kind of homophobic rage.

Castiel wasn’t even listening to the man ranting, just picking up words like ‘Jesus’ and ‘disgusting’ and more slurs than he could count. He was more concerned by all the children nearby who could hear the garbage this man was spouting, and he needed a way to quickly shut him up.

So, he took the obvious route, and poured the entire carton of chocolate milk that he had got for Jack over his bald head.

{o0o}

Dean felt, as Santa, he should probably go and sort out whatever argument the two morons were having that led to the waste of a perfectly good drink. He had been concerned about kids getting some kind of gunk on him, but apparently adults were equally messy.

“Hey, hey, what’s going on?” Dean asked, standing slightly in between them even though he couldn’t imagine either of them starting a fist fight. The guy covered in milk looked furious, but he was the kind of jerk who wouldn’t want his suit to get any messier than it already was, and the other dude looked like he was in some kind of shock.

“This- This queer just assaulted me!” Suit Man shouted, and Dean suddenly and rather desperately hoped that that chocolate milk was never coming out.

“Excuse me?” he asked, not entirely sure how to respond to that.

“It’s disgusting. They shouldn’t be able to raise a child in that lifestyle. It’s appal-”

“Shut up,” Dean said, rather forcefully and uncomfortably aware of the entire room’s eyes on him.

“What did you just say to me?”

“I said, shut up. What is really disgusting here is your behaviour. You think it is okay to be horrible to another human being just because of who he loves? Now that is bad parenting.”

If anyone asked him later, Dean would say that he was fuming. That his anger was clouding his judgement. That this dude was being an asshole at Christmas in front of kids. Maybe that’s why his brain spotted the teachable moment - no one argued with fucking Father Christmas - and leaned down, slowly pulling the other man towards him and kissing him gently.

To be honest, Dean was sure that he would pull away. In fact, he gave the stranger plenty of time to do so. But instead, he kissed back. Maybe he was in shock. Maybe he also saw what Dean was doing. But they kissed, and Dean knew, somehow, that it was the beginning.

{o0o}

Castiel went to that stupid party because he thought it would be a good way to entertain Jack for the afternoon, and instead left feeling simultaneously embarrassed, with the bonus of a random man’s number. Who he had kissed. In front of a room full of people.

To his continued surprise (although Castiel thought that perhaps there was a limit on how many surprises he could process in one day), the man - Dean, he said his name was, seemed genuinely interested in going on a date with him.

The Roadhouse didn’t look like a particularly romantic spot, but he was not backing out now.

“You must be Castiel.” A stern-looking woman looks him up and down before nodding in approval. “I’m Ellen. You better not hurt my boy,” she warned with a threatening smile, gesturing towards where Dean was sitting in a booth in the corner. He was clearly not reading the menu, his eyes glassy and unfocused, but he fiddled with it anyway, his leg restlessly bouncing under the table.

“Hello, Dean,” Castiel greeted as he sat down, hoping he was hiding his nerves as well as he thought he was. Remember, fake it ‘til you make it, Meg’s voice reminded him. She had been so excited when he called her about his date, threatening him with unspeakable violence if he didn’t show up. Although, Meg could threaten unspeakable violence about anything. She once left the entirety of his cutlery drawer under Castiel’s duvet just because he forgot to feed her cat once.

“Hiya, Cas,” Dean replied, grinning at him. Even though he was clearly nervous, he still seemed sincerely glad to see him, and it warmed his heart. “You don’t mind if I call ya that, right? Oh - before I forget, you should totally get the Elvis burger. It’s absolutely amazing.”

The meal went remarkably well, considering that Cas usually avoided dates like the plague. First dates were the worst - the annoyance of getting to know each other, and the inevitable awkwardness at the end - and he rarely saw anyone more than once. After a particularly bad night, which had ended with Meg having to come and pick him up from a park during a thunderstorm, Cas had sworn off dating. Yet, here he was, and he couldn’t deny he was enjoying himself.

Just as they had finished eating, two girls bounded up to the table. They clearly knew Dean somehow; one was skinny and blonde and Cas could swear that he could see a knife peeking out from her apron, and the other had flaming red hair and a t-shirt which proclaimed ‘the internet is broken, so I’m outside today’.

“Wanna decorate cookies with us?” they exclaimed at the same time, and before he could process what was happening, Cas had been dragged over to the kitchen where there was already a tray of perfect biscuits cooling on the counter.

The next half an hour was spent in a whirlwind of icing and sprinkles and sugar, and Cas loved every minute, although he really hoped that none of the cookies ended up being given to customers, because he had seen Jack make mud cakes more hygienic than this. Charlie sat in a corner on her phone, blasting Christmas music while focused on texting and taking pictures, whereas Jo was thoroughly entertaining herself by drawing inappropriate designs on her biscuits. Dean and Cas’ actually ended up looking okay, but neither of them were artists, so the cookies still looked like they had been decorated by a toddler.

When they were finished, they left Charlie and Jo to clean up and went back into the main area of the now empty restaurant. A new song came over the speakers, slow and enchanting, and Dean offered Cas a hand. “A dance before you go?”

Dancing with Dean, Cas decided, was magical. They swayed together, gradually getting closer and closer until their chests were pressed together and Cas’ head was resting on Dean’s shoulder. For a minute, Cas could forget everything but this moment. He allowed himself to simply be lost in the music and the warmth of Dean’s body, listening to the steady thump of his heartbeat and feel the gentle rise and fall of his chest.

As the song ended, Dean carefully pulled apart just enough to lean down and join their lips in a tender kiss, and Cas thought that he could be in heaven.

But the kiss only got deeper and suddenly Cas’ mind flickered back online just in time to remind him what a ridiculous idea this was. Red flashing lights screamed and wailed and reminded him of what always happened, and the sudden warning jolted his body into action, pulling away from Dean in a panic.

Dean looked down at him with a lazy smile, only frowning when he realised something was wrong. “Cas? Wha- did I do something wrong?”

Cas was shaking his head and reversing all at once, all higher functioning processes having been thrown out of the window. He was babbling, apologising and saying it wasn’t Dean and all the while he knew he was on the edge of some kind of embarrassing meltdown, so in the end, he let his feet do the talking, and fled.

{o0o}

Dean didn’t think the fact he hadn’t left his house in two days had anything to do with the best date he had ever been on ending with the other dude running out on him, but apparently Charlie did. She had been pestering him all day, asking if he wanted to help her decorate for Christmas or go and get milkshakes or watch a film. No matter what she suggested, Dean always declined. He wasn’t feeling it, and if it had anything to do with the trenchcoat staring at him from across the room, he wasn’t going to admit it to anyone.

It wasn’t the first time someone had run out on him, of course, but usually that was on a particularly awkward date or if something bad had happened. He just couldn’t understand what had sent Cas running out of the Roadhouse like that, so panicstricken that he forgot his coat which he came with. Dean didn’t think he had read the situation that badly; in fact, he had been sure that the other man had been enjoying their date.

He sighed and pulled the pillow over his head, trying to ignore his phone as it pinged constantly. Yeah, it was probably Charlie spamming him, but there was always the chance it could be Cas…

Charlie: What about we just go on a really long drive?

Charlie: You can pick the music

Charlie: You shouldn’t be cooped up on Christmas eve eve!

Charlie: Dean Winchester, you better not be ignoring me

Charlie: Dean???

Ellen: You still coming to the party tomorrow?

Oh, shit. Dean had totally forgotten about the Annual Roadhouse Christmas Bash. It was the perfect opportunity to distribute the presents and cards he bought, there was plenty of delicious (and free!) food, and it was generally the highlight of his Christmas. Everyone would be there - Ellen and Jo, Bobby, Charlie, and practically everyone else who lived within a hundred mile radius.

No matter how down Dean was feeling, he wouldn’t miss it for the world. In his opinion, family came before everything.

Dean: course i am

{o0o}

“Come on Clarence, it’s Christmas!” Meg encouraged, nudging Castiel’s shoulder. “I’ll go with you, and Claire can watch Jack. She already agreed.”

Castiel looked down at the napping toddler, one thumb in his mouth and a teddy clutched tight in his tiny hands. It felt like he had barely spent any time with his son in forever, even though he knew it wasn’t true. He knew that if he really didn’t want to go, Meg would let him weasel his way out of this particular social gathering, but he couldn’t help but think that it might be good for him.

“An hour’s all I’m asking,” Meg begged. He was surprised she hadn’t threatened him with Nair or something yet.

“Fine.” Just one hour, and then a quiet Christmas. What could possibly go wrong?

{o0o}

Dean had busted out his favourite leather jacket, and (at Charlie’s desperate begging) was even wearing just a bit of eyeliner. He was determined to not let his failed date ruin his favourite thing about Christmas, and he would be damned if he spent another minute thinking about Cas.

(So, maybe he had brought the forgotten coat along with him, but that was just so he could give it to Ellen in case Cas came in the Roadhouse again! She was much more likely to see the dude again than him, anyways. It wasn’t Dean’s fault that - because of Charlie’s enthusiasm to get inside - he had left the thing in the Impala's trunk.)

For the first hour, his plan entirely succeeded. He was distracted by the gift exchanging and the procuring of food and catching up with old friends and avoiding people he didn’t like (namely that one girl who delivered food for Ellen sometimes who he could swear was a demon). It was only after the hour mark when he swore he saw a familiar mop of dark hair, but he immediately dismissed the thought. No way.

He went into the kitchen and chatted to Benny for a while, enjoying catching up on his old friend’s life. Perhaps he got a bit distracted when he heard a familiar gruff voice in the hallway, but other than that, he was sure that his mind was playing tricks on him. Besides, Jo was always up to something. Just because she had a glint in her eye when she came into the kitchen, it didn’t mean anything special. Probably just that some poor fool had a whoopee cushion on their chair somewhere.

It was about halfway through the party when Dean’s plan really started to fail. The music suddenly seemed too loud and the once friendly crowd suddenly made him feel claustrophobic. The smell of burgers and chocolate - no matter how delicious Dean knew they were - was making his stomach roll. The best course of action, he decided, was to step outside for a few minutes, to get some fresh air.

He didn’t expect to find Castiel already out there.

{o0o}

Meg - being Meg - had absolutely insisted, upon their arrival at the Roadhouse, that she didn’t know that it was the location of Castiel’s failed date. Apparently she had been invited (with a plus one) because she occasionally delivered food for them or something, but Castiel smelt a lie in there somewhere.

It would be fine. One hour, free punch and food, and he could go home. He could avoid Dean for one hour. He might not even be there.

An hour in, and Castiel was sure he wasn’t there, in fact. He politely greeted Ellen (who glared daggers at him, which he felt he deserved) and Charlie (who apparently knew Meg). He had a conversation with Jo outside the kitchen (which mostly consisted of him asking where the toilets were and Jo asking if he had called Dean). In fact, he was actually having a fairly pleasant time when he realised that they probably wouldn’t make it home in time to relieve Claire of her babysitting duties, so he quickly rushed outside to call her, but she didn’t pick up.

God only knew where Meg was, but she was - as she put it - a ‘big girl who could handle herself’, so Castiel didn’t bother waiting up. He simply called a taxi, hoping it would get there before he froze to death. He still hadn’t managed to find his favourite coat, and he had deeply mourned his loss.

He was so caught up in hopping from foot to foot and thinking about how much of a tip he was going to give Claire that he nearly didn’t hear the voice coming from the doorway.

“Cas?” Dean Winchester asked.

Fuck, he thought, slowly turning around to be met with the sight of the gorgeous man with a handsome jacket and eyes like a forest. Oh, he was so fucked.

“Hello, Dean,” Cas replied instead, not sure what else to say.

The younger man walked up to him tentatively, as if any quick movement he made might scare Cas off. “Uh… what are you doing here?”

“Meg convinced me to come,” Cas answered, his eyes never quite meeting Dean’s.

“Meg? She- Is she your girlfriend?” Dean looked hurt, but Cas couldn’t help but laugh.

“God, no. She’s my neighbour,” he chuckled.

“Oh, sorry,” Dean mumbled.

It was a lot quieter outside, but even with the background noise - wispy notes of music and the occasional growl of a car’s engine in the distance - their silence seemed deafening. Neither of them was quite sure what to say, and even though Cas knew that it was him who owed Dean the explanation, he did not have the energy to explain himself. In all the twenty two years in which he had understood his sexuality, he had never once been able to describe his experience succinctly, or even in a way that wasn’t babbling nonsense.

Of course the taxi was taking its sweet time to show up.

“I’m sorry,” Cas blurted out, at the same time Dean stammered, “why did you leave?”

They are silent for another moment. “It’s hard to explain,” Cas hesitated.

“Well, I’d kinda like to know,” Dean snapped, wincing as the words came out of his mouth. “Sorry, ignore me. I’m being a dick. You don’t have to explain if you don’t want-”

“I’m asexual,” Cas declared abruptly, cutting Dean off.

Dean opened and closed his mouth for a few seconds, trying to process this. Cas knew, he just knew from the look on his face that this conversation was going to be as horrific as it is every. Single. Time.

“I’ve not heard of that before,” Dean eventually stated.

Cas sighed. He liked Dean, he genuinely did, but it was usually The Talk that scared people off. “I’m not sexually attracted to anyone.”

“Oh,” Dean mumbles, sounding disappointed. “So, the other night…?”

“Romantic and sexual attraction are two different things. I enjoyed our date, but I… panicked, at the end. People tend to, uh… expect things, and I didn’t want to lead you on. Sorry, again. I should have handled it better.”

“S’okay. So you don’t have sex at all?” Dean asked, deadpan. Suddenly, he realised what he said, and he clapped his hands over his mouth. “I am so sorry. That is such a weird question. Don’t answer that.”

Cas huffed out a laugh, watching his breath disappear into the night. Looking up, he watched as the stars winked at him against the inky backdrop, and he took a deep breath. “Would you like to go on another date?”

Cas finally allowed himself to look at Dean, and he was greeted with a warm, sincere smile. “I would love that.”

The moment was broken when Cas’ phone rang, and he fumbled to pick it up with his frozen fingers. “Claire! Sorry I’m late, I’m on my- what’s wrong? Claire, slow down. The hospital? Shit, I’m on my way.”

Cas glanced up at Dean, barely registering his concern, only managing to choke out, “Jack is in the hospital.”

{o0o}

Dean didn’t even hesitate. There was no way in Hell he was gonna let Cas wait for a cab when his son was hurt, and he was bundling the distressed man towards his car before he could even protest. “Which hospital?”

Cas stood by the passenger door completely rigid, his brows furrowed in confusion. “Dean, what are you doing?”

Dean looked at him incredulously, one eyebrow raised. “Giving you a lift, dumbass. Baby is way faster than any taxi.”

“Baby?” Cas asked, but he got in the car anyway.

Luckily, the Roadhouse was only a twenty minute drive away (if you went by the speed limit, and Dean most certainly did not) but even that seemed like an age when he was trying to simultaneously not crash the car and comfort the man in the passenger seat. Dean didn’t have any kids of his own, but he could imagine that this was the worst possible thing that could happen to Cas; to have your own child in danger and not being able to be with them must be torture.

Cas was opening the car door before they had even come to a full stop, and by the time Dean had parked, he was already inside. By the time Dean caught up, he was already deep in conversation with Jody’s daughter, who was distraught. It was almost scary; Dean remembered her as the girl who had thrown a full grown man out of a second story window because he groped her, and every interaction he had ever had with her had made her seem like a badass.

“What’s going on?” he asked, gently shepherding them towards a seat in the waiting room.

Cas wasn’t listening. He had already stormed off and was in a heated discussion with the receptionist, who kept shaking her head more and more forcefully.

“A dog attacked him,” Claire hiccuped. “Just came out of nowhere and started tearing at him.”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Dean assured her, bringing in a hug. He didn’t even care that she was probably getting snot all over his favourite jacket.

Cas stormed back over, looking like he was ready to level a city. “They won’t let me see him until they’ve operated.”

“Shit,” Dean replied, a plan forming. “Okay, here’s what we’re gonna do. Claire, you go outside and call Jody and ask her to pick you up, ‘kay? I’m gonna call someone at the Roadhouse to bring some supplies so we can camp here overnight if we need to… Cas, do you have a spare key or something? I can get someone to pick up some stuff from your house that you might need?”

“Meg has a key,” he sniffled.

Fifteen minutes later, everything is as sorted out as it can be. Bobby - the only person left who is safe to drive - was giving Meg a lift to Cas’ place to pick up their things and to bring some food, and Jody was there to pick up Claire.

“It’s not your fault, kiddo. Go home and get some rest, we’ll keep you updated,” Dean reassured her.

An hour later, the doctors agreed to let Cas in to see Jack, assuring them that he will be absolutely fine. When Cas finally untangled himself from Dean’s side, he seemed reluctant to leave him, but Dean just smiled gently at him and squeezed his hand. “I’ll wait right here,”

In the end, Jack gets discharged the very same night, coincidentally right as Bobby and apparently an entire ensemble from the Roadhouse show up. Jo is there with enough leftovers to feed an army, and Charlie and Meg had enough blankets and bags of clothes with them that Dean winced when he spared a thought for the state Cas’ house was going to be in.

It was a little awkward when Cas walked out of the hospital with a sleeping Jack in his arms, bundled in one of the many blankets, but Bobby just huffed and offered to give them a lift back home. Charlie clambered into the Impala without a second word - it would not be the first time she had slept over at Dean’s while drunk - leaving Dean to say goodbye.

“Night, Cas. And Merry Christmas,” he said, squeezing his shoulder reassuringly.

“Thank you, Dean,” Cas replied, and they both knew he wasn’t talking about the holiday wishes.

{o0o}

The next time they actually managed to see each other was New Year’s Eve. Dean had shown up on Cas’ doorstep with chocolate, an armful of fireworks, and his usual lopsided smile. Obviously, he was not going to be refused.

They set the fireworks off as soon as it went dark, Cas holding Jack a safe distance away while Dean lit them, his silhouette dancing in the darkness of the garden. The bangs elicited excited squeaks from Jack, his eyes open wide in awe. He had never seen fireworks up close before.

After Jack had been tucked into sleep, Cas returned downstairs to find Dean lounging on the porch, two glasses of champagne poured. They sat outside for hours, watching the explosions of colour mix with the stars until it was impossible to tell them apart.

Cas couldn’t help but think that Dean was beautiful in this light; mellow and golden, his eyes sparkling underneath a halo of sparks.

Before long, it was a minute to midnight. “I… can I kiss you again?” Dean mumbled, his eyes flicking over to Cas nervously.

He smiled reassuringly. “I think I would like that.”

“Oh, uh, awesome.” It was hard to tell, but he was sure that Dean was blushing furiously. “I just wasn’t sure if you were, like, aromantic or something.”

Cas’ eyebrows shot up in surprise. “You know what that is?”

“I googled it all after you told me. Figured I should probably learn all the terms, y’know?”

All of a sudden, Castiel realised that he might be falling in love. No one had ever bothered doing anything like that for him before.

A chant started up in the distance, a thousand voices all counting down at the same time.

Ten

Nine

Eight

Dean gently cupped the back of Cas’ neck, pulling him closer until he could feel the warmth of his face.

Seven

Six

Five

Cas smiled up at him, lost in the forests that he called eyes.

Four

Three

Two

“Happy New Year, Cas,” Dean whispered, and their lips collided, better than any firework.

#i hope you enjoy #destiel #my writing #fanfic #destiel secret santa #christmas

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