#like so much of his life doesn't belong to himself anyway so a lot of the puppeting is old hat

[halfbaked00q]

Im soooo weak to when Bond is like casually being used or exploited at his expense for some ostensible Greater Good except the situation doesn't HAVE to come to that, not really, and he's so inured and even numb to it that he barely pays it any mind; meanwhile, Q absolutely minds and is very indignant on his behalf and works overtime to like either try to avert or forestall the situation before it gets to the point where Bond has to dig his own claws into more of his soft underbelly to offer up on the sacrificial alter of politics of all tawdry things, or to manufacture a way in which he does the needless "needful" so as to spare Bond at least one unnecessary additional wound upon his psyche.

bonus if Bond finds out and maybe after being angry or indignant about it - I don't need you to do my job for me, Q, this is what I'm here to do - and either Q tells him/lets slip or he deduces that like, this isn't Q thinking he can't get the job done, this is Q finding him precious and worthy of protecting, and like. he's just very in awe of that and does in fact feel very safe and cherished within the cradle of his Quartermaster's regard

[bnyf]

baby you're my bunny ♡

╭﹕୨୧﹒ bunny boy x female reader

┊ warnings : yandere content and themes, unhealthy behaviors, relationship and relationship dynamic, slight body horror me thinks? slight horror, perverted yandere, non consensual touching, suggestive, uhhh that's it me thinks :3

╰﹕୨୧﹒ authoress note : so sorry if it's badly written also sorry if it ends weird :/

no survival instinct what's-so-ever. like... none.

but he was not complaining! it was just a mere observation. perhaps you were unaware of your allure, maybe you were not exposed to the cruel world yet, didn't know how sick people and creatures can be.

well for one... your little secret admirer was not one of those adorable bunnies you'd fawn over, nothing even close really. and no, he's not some cute boy with a bunny tail and some bunny ears. he's far from cute, a little scary actually.

humanoid? sure! typical bunny boy hybrid, uhhhh not really lol! he's mixed with human genetics but he's not quit. and for a bunny hybrid, he sure had a lot of predator instincts.

to put simply, he was an abnormality of mother nature. his lower half resembled a bunny whilst his torso and up is that of a man. his claws on his feet or paws or whatever are dangerously long, digging into the dirt whenever he walks, leaving behind a "too small to notice unless your looking for it" trail.

a muscular, lean build, biceps so perfect and manly hands to hold you down if you even ever think of escaping, awe how sweet of him <3

completely pale skin with small patches of equally pale fur in various spots, completely crimson, blood shot eyes and a pair of floppy bunny ears where any normal human's ears would be.

how did he even came to be? you may ask. well he was a normal boy, once upon a time. but one day, he'd gotten into a serious accident, a near death life experience. that day he could've hear the bells of heaven ringing in his ears but he wasn't ready to die, not like this... in his head he begged for more time, asking whatever god above to answer his prayers.

and yeah! his prayers where answered but, as they say, be careful what you wish for...

the moon goddess answered his prayers, but she also cursed him for it is the price he must pay to live longer.

"i grant you more time, as much time as you may need, but for as long as you roam his earth, your soul belongs to me and your purpose, is to server me," her voice rang in his ears like a bittersweet melody before he'd lose consciousness.

when he awake, he found himself in the mountains, he was a monstrosity of a man and dared not step a foot into society. he's to bare this curse and blessing till death.

he became easily bored and clueless as to what to do next, his every day life felt null and everything felt too much to bare. his eternity just began yet he dreads his mistake with every passing day.

"maybe, i should of just accepted my faith and die that day..."

with nothing and no one, he was left to wonder the mountain and serve the goddess by praying to her and tending to her shrine everyday, he's trapped to keep her energy going so she won't become a forgotten god.

(guys i made the lore up on a whim so bare with me even i'm confused right now :0)

anyways! everything drastically changed for our boy here when you and your family decided to move to the village nearby in the rural area, and live a peaceful life and just run a nice little farm hooray! hopefully, you don't get stalked and preyed on by a lonely scarily tall bunny male hybrid who looks like a utterly angelic, celestial eldritch horror, right?

all he could think about was a pretty girl had moved in next door and he just had to watch her from afar. most the villagers were very welcoming of you and your family, it was big talk because such a pretty girl had just moved in the small village and all the villagers wanted their sons or grandsons to get married.

it doesn't have much young people, mostly elders and young children and even less marriageable women. which is why you easily became popular, with everyone always gifting you things, begging you to marry into their family. they even had a town welcome celebration for you and your family!

he watched everything from afar. feeling a slight sting in his chest. jealous? already? of course he is, he wanted you all for himself. for countless nights, he just couldn't sleep at all.

he spent all his time admiring you from afar. the way he'd blush, his heart beat fastening, the gears in his head would just slow down a bit. gosh, he actually felt his heart warm so much it'd burn in his chest.

he wanted you badly.

you were his new source of entertainment, motivation and inspiration all in one and his mind was melting with how needy he started becoming.

"what the f- she's so kind and pretty..."

"i wanna hug her, wanna kiss her, feel her skin on mine, love her, fuck her."

"she can be my little bunny princess~"

"wonder what our babies would look like? i'm getting heated just thinking about it"

it didn't help much when he found out you adored bunnies and would play with them near the spring. fawning over the little fluffy creatures, hugging them and petting them. and when you held them in your arms and give smooches while rubbing your face on their fluffy fur?!?!?

that's where his obsession becomes almost to much to bare, his entire chest area felt so warm watching you treat those bunnies with so much love.

"everything about her is so perfect, i'm starting to crave her like crazy right now."

"wanna whisk her away, take her, lock her up and keep her all to myself."

his mind starts getting clouding with so many dark thoughts of you.

and so, he start pushing boundaries and going outside his comfort zone to appease his little appetite that consist of you. at night, he sneaks in to steal a closer glance at you and probably a few things so he can remember your scent properly.

the whole house was dark, the whole village asleep by the time it was midnight hour. he'd manage to get in somehow somewhere but when he did, he immediately went to your room.

finally. he could smell and touch you as much as he wanted, his mind was actually in ecstasy when he entered your room, your scent gracing his nostrils as soon as he did, and the poor touch starved male couldn't hold back on touching you various parts of your skin.

"how delightful, her skin is so smooth and her hair feels so good, she smells like flowers all over gosh so fucking perfect, i wanna devour her, drink her up, chew her, spit her out and do it all over again" with every slight movement you make and whimper scaping your soft lips, he can't help but hold back his own voice, he wanted to moan just by being around you, it felt so good.

after so long, why wouldn't it feel great?

to be around around someone for once, to feel the heat of another person's body, the sweet scent of someone else other than himself. he'd lay in bed with you, his larger self cuddling your smaller form as smells your hair, trailing his hands all over you.

he was getting ahead of himself.

it takes everything within him to not proceed and do something to you while in your sleep. his morals along with his sanity were drifting away more and more.

time flies by when you're enjoying yourself, before he knew it he had to leave before the sun raises. forcing himself he does but he also takes like 5 things from you.

"promise i'll return your belongings my love, i just need a little souvenir to help myself with."

the poor thing gets sent into an early heat after that little interaction. he's embarrassed a little but he really needs you, like he really does. and he thinks of ways of introducing himself but... he's a monster, you would run from him and be scared. and when that thought comes to mind it makes him... sad.

"if i'd die that day, i'd never meet her, never be able to see her, but now that i'm alive with the help of the moon goddess, i can't even act normal about her. it's like i'm truly doomed."

this realization was tough. it made him sick to think about. and for a while, he was just okay with sneaking in to see you, and holding your unconscious body but he wanted a lot more, and he wanted your acceptance and love. he wanted you to want him the way he wants you.

it hurt even more when he mistakenly glanced in the mirror only to see a 6 feet tall, half human half hybrid bunny with a deadly eerie looking bloody stare, stare right back at him.

the pale moonlight leaking on him, hitting his skin almost making it look silver.

"she'd surely fear me, she'd run."

he's such a beautiful tragedy. would you be able to appreciate that?

[arminsumi]

Hi! I hope ur having a good time. Sorry, for the phrasing, English is not my first language hehe (｡>\\<) btw i really like ur writing! u keep them in character and also ur amazing at writing fluff ♡(੭´͈ ᐜ `͈)੭ can I please ask for a gojo fluff where he realizes reader always wanted to have a small boyfriend to like call him baby boy to sit on her lap and spoil him and stuff and then gojo goes apeshit like trying to sit on her with his long ass limbs trying to be a babyboy idk hehehe anyways tysm

"I'm your baby boy, right?"

GOJO さとる + fem!reader

Satoru thinks he's smaller than he actually is, and tries curl up on you like a cat.

Note : hey hey! srry i took so long to write this omggg it got lost in my drafts. but!! it's such a sweet idea thank u for sending it in!! big beefy satoru trying to make himself ur small boy is a thought that gave me life 💗😖 and thank u so much for ur kind words it means a lot!!

Satoru tries to curl up on you as if he's a little cat.

But he's not.

Ah, but he really thinks he is sometimes.

And he wants to be a little cat to you, not a big burly man or a strong intimidating menace but just a small, soft, delicate thing to be held and touched and pampered with love and care.

It makes you laugh, as you listen to him grunting and struggling to position himself on your lap and get those long limbs in order — it's one of the funniest sights; a big boy trying to box himself up like he's not 6'3 with broad-shoulders 'n thick arms 'n long spider-like legs.

"Do you think you're a cat or something?"

"Yes." he grins dumbly, balancing precariously on you as you sit. Then he sees your smile and slips off. "—oopsfuck!" he falls, gets up, acts it off, then tries again.

In bed, he wiggles down the sheets so his head is level with your chest. He wraps his arms around your middle, arches his back, and encases you between his legs. He clings to your body on his side like that, and snuggles his cheek on your chest as if it's his rightful pillow, the place where he belongs.

"Play with my hair, please?" he mumbles with pouty lips.

He smiles to himself when you fulfil his request.

Feeling both your warmth and your fingers stroking lovingly through his hair makes him drowsy. And when he's drowsy, he mumbles mental notes like "we need to buy orange juice tomorrow..." as he falls asleep.

His grip slackens as he falls asleep. In the middle of the night, he'll wake up and look at you with that puffy pouty sleepy face of his and stare for a moment, appreciating you, before tightening his embrace on your body and returning to slumber.

When he wakes up the next morning with you, he makes the same request; "Play with my hair." but with a raspy voice.

While you do so, he groaningly complains about having had nightmares all night.

"I keep dreamin' about saving the world 'n failing... but it's fine. I wake up and you're right here. So nothin' to worry about. Doesn't matter if I fail if I still have you."

He's so happy to be getting spoiled and pampered by you while curling his body up as small as possible. Happy that he has someone he doesn't have to be big and strong around. Someone who he can be a baby boy around.

Sometimes he's resting on your chest in the mornings in silence, when suddenly he rears his head up and asks "I'm your baby boy, right? Say it, please."

"Mhm. You're my baby boy, Satoru. Don't worry."

"Mm yay." he smiles to himself and resumes resting on you, his white hair tickling under your chin. "Say it again, please. Just keep saying it."

So you do, you say it repeatedly and it sounds like a soft lullaby to him. He falls back asleep with his ear pressed to your heartbeat, and feels a safe warmness in his chest.

"Oh." he startles out of his shallow sleep, "We need to buy orange juice, don't we?"

© arminsumi

I do not permit the copying/reposting/translation/plagiarism of my works. Do not steal what I've worked hard to create.

This is fictional work.

[ghoulfuckersincorporated]

Prewar!Cooper Howard has a breeding kink because he loves being a dad. He and Barb married and started trying for kids later in life than most folks around them, so much of the sex they had, especially early on, was focused on getting Barb pregnant. If he'd had his way, they would have had a whole litter of children, but hey, sometimes life doesn't work out the way you want. Still, there's the fun of trying, and there was a lot of trying. After the divorce, he's shocked when he meets someone else, and even more shocked when he feels those same urges with you. He's been trained to try and knock one in basically every time, he jokes.

At least, that's what he tells himself.

He's also incredibly possessive, and it drives him wild to think about getting to see you all swollen and filled out with his child. Particularly with you being younger that him; the ugly part of his brain is barking at him to stake a more permanent claim on you every time a guy your age so much as looks your way. Personally, he thinks he's too old to have more kids, but between his secret urges, your forgetfulness when it comes to your pill, and your twin high sex drives, well...sometimes accidents happen.

He'd be over the moon, once he knew you were happy as well (he would also worry about the news potentially being hurtful to Barb, but that'd be an issue for tomorrow). Showing you off in public, knowing that other people see how gorgeous you are and know you fully belong to him, it really gets him going, and you certainly take notice of how amorous he is when you're out together (combined with how vigorously he fucks you when you get home). Thinks you're insanely sexy pregnant and likes to watch you ride him with a big belly. You'd both better be a lot more careful about your contraception after the first baby if you don't want another, because getting to see you that way only makes his kink worse.

The Ghoul has a breeding kink because he's incredibly possessive. It's been literal centuries since he's come across anything in this world that he cares for enough to want to claim it, and you're officially claimed. He wants everyone, including you, to know that you belong to him and only him. Other ghouls can smell him on you much more strongly if he cums inside you, and he enjoys the way filling you full scratches his most primal itch. It's just an added benefit that he's almost positive he can't actually get you pregnant, but...there are records of ghouls reproducing with other ghouls. Haven't stranger things happened?

The little thrill he gets at the idea is just nature trying to take over.

At least, that's what he tells himself.

You'd be hard-up to get him to admit it, but he wants you to need him. He wants an excuse to baby you and pamper you and force you to let him do things for you without the vulnerability of admitting that he wants to do those things for you anyway because he's deeply in love with you.

You complain that your feet hurt during your journey for the day? He'll carry you everywhere you want to go from now until the end of time, if that's what you want. Stomach and appetite troubles? Name whatever you want, he'll find it for you, no matter how many caps he has to pay. Tired? "Of course you're tired, sweetheart. Let's stop for today. Here, sit down. Do you need some water? Eat this, you need some calories. Let me rub your legs and feet for you." It is endless and sort of surreal for you to adjust to.

Speaking of journeys, I think he also secretly wants to settle down a bit. He does already after he meets and falls for you, seeing how much the constant trekking back and forth across the irradiated desert takes out of you, and he definitely would want to do so expeditiously if you were pregnant. It's not like secure places don't exist in this world. He can keep you, and anyone else who may come along, safe just fine.

He'd be afraid to fuck you if you were pregnant, worried that he'll hurt you or make you sick or make something bad happen with the pregnancy. But if you reassure him, maybe beg a little, he'll do his best to make sure your urges are satisfied. Sit on his face and let him slide his tongue through your insanely sensitive folds, lie back and let him fuck you with those agile fingers while he jerks himself off. You'll miss being properly penetrated, badly, but you won't go without.

He wants an excuse to be even more protective of you than usual. Give him a reason to literally pluck men's eyes out for daring to so much as look at you, a reason to never let you out of his sight ever again. If you thought he was ready to commit violence to keep you safe before, you haven't seen anything yet.

I can't imagine it would be easy to have a big family in the Wasteland, but reminding him how much he loves being a dad would certainly have the thought on his mind.

[changbinsboobs]

How is Skz's personal hygiene like?

So for all of them im seeing the have a pretty good hygiene and are very clean and take good care of themselves. More details follow:

Chan - he is overall a clean person, not only in his personal hygiene but also in his home environment and his way of doing things he gives of...i wouldn't say clean freak vibes, but its definitely noticeable to others how he's very particular about things cleanliness.

Lee know - im hearing he likes being naked😂 its natural and healthy to be in a humans natural form. Love that guy😂 so yeah he enjoys spending time in his natural form, like how he came on earth - and he can do that best in the shower of course or while sleeping. Im also seeing him finding a lot of peace and quite in the shower and i think those are the more mindful times of day for him. He can think well and decompress in the shower so, if not for anything else then at least for that reason he does spend a good amount of time tending to his hygiene.

Changbin - for him im seeing that he's always hot so he probably sweats a lot? Like under the armpits or in the crotch area...mike in places where sweat can start smelling quicker than lets say back sweat or face or chest sweat. Im also seeing stomach/gut stuff? Hot/spicy food? Nerves? Something like this. So im leaning towards thinking that he may have some issues with body odor? Maybe he smells faster than the other guys? Or he has a specific or a stronger scent? (Ik Koreans don't have stinky sweat, they can still stink tho) (not saying he's stinky, just wanted to clarify). Maybe he often has smelly breath cuz of certain food or something? Idk. So yeah i think he may be overly conscious of that and does his best to keep himself clean and fresh...especially to come across well to others. The thing i can't pick up on here is if that complex is just in his head, like someone told him once or twice that he has to shower or that he has to brush his teeth cuz he's stinky or whatever and he took it to heart and went with it now having a conplex. Or if that people indeed find him smelly. And IF they still find him smelly despite him putting effort in being clean and fresh?

Hyunjin - He loves water!!! And im seeing him absolutely living showers. A bit like lee know i think for him taking a shower could often be the highlight of his day. Also, just to be clear i don't just mean showers when i say hygiene, there other stuff like teeth brushing, changing undies, changing clothes, having fresh smelling laundry, brushing hair, cleaning urself correctly after u use the toilet, hand washing all that stuff. For some reason tho showers have been more in focus so yeah. Anyways back to hyunjin, he loves showers and...thats not so much the topic of the reading but i think he also lives making love in the shower...👀just putting that out there very quickly. I think he takes many showers, like i can see him taking multiples a day. Now contrary to changbin i don't see him being hot all the time, nor being nervous - but i see him sweating A LOT!!! Overall im seeing him being very...liquid(?)😂 idk how to put that into words but like his body does...secrete(?) lots of fluid. So i guess he should shower more often anyways, but that doesn't bother him at all. Also i think he does take quite long in the shower & im seeing him playing scenarios in his head, fantasizing about his crushes, winning arguments, putting someone in his place just having full blown conversations and letting all the sass out in there. I think showering is truly an experience for him😂 love that for my guy.

Han - he keeps himself pretty clean too, im seeing him have a healthy routines and habits concerning personal hygiene i think his parents taught him very well when he was young so thats second nature to him and is just something that belongs to his every day life he doesn't think mich else of it.

Felix - i think he has to get reminded sometimes. Don't get me wrong i think he is clean, he doesn't smell - but that's not so much because he takes such exzellent care of his hygiene but because he's just really lucky and doesn't stink quickly and still looks good even if he skips a shower or two. I wouldn't say that's cuz of laziness or neglect, i think he can get carried away with other stuff at times and maybe struggle to structure his day or time and may forget some basic hygiene needs every once in a while like going out without brushing his teeth, or using the toilet and not washing his hands...something like that. But again he's really lucky and i bet most people don't even notice until he says something cuz he just remembered or whatever.

Seungmin - ehm...im not seeing that much about his personal hygiene but rather im seeing he's someone to judge others for theirs(?). Or maybe judge is too strong of a word, but like, calls others put. If someone lacks a bit somewhere like not doing skin care, not fixing their hair, not brushing teeth immediately after eating he calls you out, provably publically, and kind if pressures you into doing whatever u haven't done.

I.N - he thinks personal hygiene is very important and diligently takes care of himself. This is something he has to think about consciously, contrary to han for example for whom its just second nature - i.n put conscious thought and care into it. Im also seeing him following social and trend rules religiously altogether and likes to comply with those and fit in and be...obedient(?) and good(?).

[mimimui]

bllk boys as your not-so bf

includes: isagi, bachira, chigiri, nagi, reo, rin

tags: use of profanity, use of 'babe', one-sided(?), angst if you squint hard enough, discord in nagi's

a/n: inspired by my not-so bf (we don't talk anymore) :b srsly idk if that guy actually liked me or not but anyway .. enjoy !

even if he's at soccer training, he answers all your texts right away. you've seen him reply, or rather, not reply, to his other friends whenever he was with you. it feels as if isagi gives you special treatment, but in reality, you barely talk in real life. he pays you no mind when you pass by him, as if you were strangers. sure, he can act like that all he wants, but he can't forget all the late night talks you had.

you've shared secrets, fears, ambitions, and questions with each other. you've exchanged greetings, selfies, and "i love you"s, yet he's able to act as if you're nothing more to him. you look at him and there's a familiar pang in your heart, one you've experienced many times before.

how much longer is he going to hide his true feelings for you? does he have feelings at all?

the morning of the sleepover your friend hosted, you and bachira lie down comfortably on the bed, clicking through your friends' instagram stories. you're on his chest and his head is on your shoulder, him being the one clicking through while you hold your phone. he occassionally makes comments about them, saying things like "that was funny" or "ooh that one's pretty, introduce me sometime?"

you frown at his comment, but he doesn't see it. you two are always so close, holding hands and whatnot. you're always mistaken as a couple, but bachira denies it quicker than you do, which is a sign you should probably take. when you all go home, your friend sends you a picture they took of you and bachira on the bed and teases you.

your heart wrenches as you tell them "we're just friends."

you share a lot of your things with chigiri, and he does the same. you always find him asking to borrow your hairbrush, if he can take a bite of your food, use your phone, and more than you can remember. can you recall when you let him use your shirt after training? yeah, that was the only thing of yours he never gave back. why would he even keep that shirt?

on his way home, his teammates asked him if the shirt belonged to his significant other. he pauses for a moment, but then ultimately denies even having one. you get a bit irritated at times, and he has to snap you out of your thoughts at the cafe you two frequent. here you are, once again sharing a drink with one straw. yes, one.

from all the indirect kisses you've shared, you should actually just kiss at this point.

you and nagi play video games together everyday. you're always seen duoing together, so a lot of people mistake you two for a couple. after soccer training, nagi's quick to turn on his computer and ask you to play games with him. fps, rpg, horror... you've played so many games together you've lost count.

in vc, he hears you groan and he stifles a laugh. you complain the player that killed you is cheating as you click through the players to spectate nagi. when you're about to mention the flank, he says something that makes your heart pound. maybe you're imagining it, or maybe it's because of a shitty headset, but did he just call you 'babe'?

you shake your head, brushing it off. you probably just heard wrong.

reo connected his online payment to your food apps, so you don't have to pay for your orders. you refused at first, but as your face recognition detects his face, your phone was now his domain. he tells you to order food whenever you want, and not to tell him when you do, he doesn't mind.

but as you see him carrying an extra lunchbox with food he made himself, you wonder who he's going to give it to. you're not bothered, of course, it was just a cooked lunch. made by reo. personally. you mentally slap yourself for thinking about it so much. are you even allowed to be jealous of the lunchbox's recipient? you're just reo's friend, and you already have access to his online wallet, so what's the problem?

yeah... what's the problem?

he's annoyingly good at minesweeper. rin effortlessly completed the board, while you're still stuck deciding between the bottom or top tile. he acts nonchalant about his umpteenth win that day, but you know he wants to brag about it to you so bad.

you sigh in defeat, asking him for another rematch, which he gladly agrees to. and, just like all other times, he completes his board first. this time, instead of laughing at you for being slow, he takes your device and completes the board for you. he complains you take too long, and that he gets impatient when his love isn't done with the game.

wait. his what?

thanks for reading (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)

[bl-inded]

Chosen, but unwanted

We have gotten enough glimpses into Faifa's childhood and trauma that need to be unpacked to understand why he behaves the way he does. And I hate to connect everything back to his mother, but it really explains why he feels so lonely despite being constantly surrounded by people.

She took him outside his home, away from his brothers and father who he loved a lot to a house with a stranger. He had the burden of being the one that was chosen, especially because he knew how much Yotha wanted that love instead. So, he bore it and did the best he could to earn that love- be worthy of that choice (not that that's something a child ever has to do! But Fa probably felt that burden nonetheless. He was a guest in his mom's new life, so he was polite and an easy child.)

Instead, not only does she make him feel like a visitor in what should have been his new home, but his mom sends him back to his dad the minute her new family gets bigger.

They are his family, but Newton, Yotha and their father have an established dynamic now that he probably feels like a cog in their well-oiled system. I can only imagine how lonely he felt after he moved back, still making sure he was not a bother in their lives.

He learnt it anyway. He learnt how to be a happy and useful part of everyone's life so he doesn't have to be alone. But all he wants to do is belong- which is a very different longing.

But he sacrificed so much of himself to feel worthy of choices he never got to make only to then realise that Faifa was the son his mother chose, but not the one she wanted.

And now that her relationship with the rest of them is more or less fixed...

He is the only one left behind. Again. No closure, no place he belongs, no purpose as the bridge, no person who can see all the pain he's borne for such a long time, and no one who is angry for him the way he is for everyone else.

Then in comes crashing into his unassuming life this cutie.

Now that he has Wine in his life, I'm thinking about what all of this would mean to his feelings- not just about Wine, but about being in love.

Wine doesn't need a caretaker, and that is all Faifa offers to everyone.

And Wine sees through his bullshit soooo quickly. Wine cares about Fa's well-being. He sees the sacrificial idiot and calls him out on the self-destructive behaviour.

But he is heartbroken- and Fa offers to "fix it"

Meaning Wine has someone else that he used to like/date. Fa is either going to help him get over it or help him get back together with this person. Knowing they are going to end up together doesn't take away the trauma. Fai has been chosen before, but he has never belonged.

So even if Wine and Faifa end up together, is Faifa the one he chose but not the one he wanted? Would Fai think that Wine would be happier with his ex?

How much of a barrier to his own acceptance will that be? I feel like Fai is convinced he could never be anyone's first choice and Wine will have to work extra hard to make sure that Faifa doesn't feel like he is discardable, or a means to an end, or like he is only valuable to Wine if he is "useful".

I want him to experience the kind of love where he doesn't feel the need to constantly justify receiving it.

[gold-pavilion]

Belonging and humanity (some more Ivan thoughts)

There's a big difference between knowing for a fact that you're a human being and getting to FEEL part of humankind. That's a thing that I feel Ivan sorely lacked. Some of his issues can definitely be traced back to it.

There's three things we know for certain about Ivan's early childhood nowadays, so let me start from those:

There were other humans around him in the slums, at least other children (for now it doesn't seem there were adults around, or none who would approach or care for the children).

However, we also know Ivan did not learn social behavior properly; for example, how or when to smile.

Going by the lonely tone of the song Nowhere and its emphasis on having no one, plus the previous point, we can infer there was no meaningful social contact with any people he knew/saw.

Ivan has been described as someone who is always learning to survive and his time in the slums must've been the same, after all; it's most likely that the other kids were competition to him (for food or other resources), threats or simply strangers with whom connections were never made.

That's to say, there were humans around Ivan but no "human community".

And that's the thing: take someone who went through a critical developmental stage with no one to care for or be cared by, learn social behavior with or practice the emotional exercises of understanding and empathy - ask that someone what "being a part of humankind" feels like, and what can he even make of it? It must not mean much more than categorizing a species, no feeling involved. And anyway, what difference does it make if there's anything else to say or not?

It's not like those are easy questions. None of the ALNST cast, with all their limitations, would be able to respond comprehensively.

But it changes things, the differences are there.

There are things that Till knows, from having a mother, learning from her and being enriched emotionally by their interaction, that I don't think he could describe but certainly has within him. Or Hyuna, who had a brother to feel that family bond and sense of community with, learning all sorts of positive social skills and having a heart full of room for empathy as she always looked out for the little Other Person next to her.

Beyond knowing their species, they know what it MEANS to be the rare and amazing human creature from these experiences of connecting, teaching, being taught, holding things in common, giving and receiving love. On an instinctual level they accessed what it feels like to be "part of humankind", which is so cool about them!!

Then you have cases like Mizi being too trusting of aliens because she was raised to feel community with one, Sua being mostly withdrawn because she didn't have a lot of warmth and community around her, Luka who was deprived of everything and then clung too hard to his first proper bond...

And Ivan, with his empty circumstances. There are a million things Ivan didn't learn and doesn't KNOW he lacked.

Of course that with his background he'd end up 1: being defensive by nature, having selfish tendencies, trouble processing emotion and socially weird habits and 2: feeling like a twisted being because of it, which is such a core aspect of his character. A human with less humanity but no idea why or how.

He adapted himself a lot once adopted, of course, and caught up an even bigger lot in his time in Anakt Garden. But I don't think he ever understood why he was "more twisted than others" and honestly, his intelligence and observance doesn't do him any favors on that front; on the contrary, I think it made him more aware of the gaps between him and other people.

And I really have to wonder if his experiences around the segyein are all that different, emotionally speaking.

I mean, of course objectively they have to be, but… his adopted life was a matter of observing his new environment, feeling like an absolute stranger because he's another species, but learning and adapting as quickly as possible in order to make himself a desirable pet that would be kept around. His experience being sent to Anakt and put in a human group was, again, feeling like a stranger because he's different to others of his own species, but learning and adapting as quickly as possible, eventually making himself an "acceptable", charming, absolutely cagey but near-perfect man. He succeeded both times.

He never did get rid of that awareness of being "twisted", though. After all, he also didn't unlearn all his survival patterns or fix the weak spots in his emotional development. As much as he progressed, the sense of not quite belonging and the faint relationship with his own humanity stayed. (With one big exception, but I'll leave that thought for the end of this ramble.)

In a way, I feel like this is exactly what made him so successful in segyein society as far as he lived. So adaptable that beyond being a good pet, he could also be trusted with and hold down an actual job, decent (faked or not, still good) relationships with segyein and, if he had any chance of survival, probably the capacity to live in their society with moderate perks.

Being an adaptable stranger who belonged nowhere in the first place… I think it's what made him more willing, more capable and more okay with mixing with the segyein like that, paired with his intelligence to pull it off.

No human pride to sacrifice. Not much humanity in the first place.

Except for the one noteworthy exception that shifted Ivan's growth: his relationship with Till.

Not only did Till embody things that Ivan lacked, which fascinated him from the start, but through his bond with him Ivan developed a lot of those traits and sensitivities that constitute peak humanity. It's a bit of the "love will make you human" trope, but on god does it apply. Ivan learned to care, to feel and to love, at times selfishly, at times messily. Buth he got pretty good at it; so much that love made him selfless and sacrificial in the end. He became a little more human for the object of his feelings. It didn't't erase all his struggles or fix his issues at large, but it was a lot. Of course he'd die thanking Till.

Anyway, that's all I wanted to get off my chest!

Humanity is a tough theme with Ivan, so I hope my thoughts about it were an interesting read.

The usual disclaimer: I've talked about 1 aspect of Ivan in this post, which does not mean this is all there is to his character or that I aim to invalidate other aspects. Just rotating this one in my head.

[sukunastoy]

NSFW ABCs (A-M) (Heian Era Ryoumen Sukuna)

An anon asked for this, and I'm not certain WHICH Sukuna they're hoping for, but I'll start with Heian Era True Form Sukuna! <3

CW/TW: Its true form Sukuna, thats the warning. Masterlist (N-Z Here!)

A = Aftercare (what they're like after sex) Bold of you to assume that Sukuna is going to stick around after he's done making you go dumb from his dick(s). But if he did stick around, he's pushing you away from him (out of his bed, off of his throne), so he can have the space to himself. You can sleep on the floor where pets belong. No cuddles, no pillow talk, (maybe some degrading praise.) You're lucky if he even offers a rag to clean yourself up with. Cause lets be honest, he's going to make a mess out of you.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner's) Definitely for him, its his chest. His big pecs (beefy man tiddies) are definitely something he's proud of. He either isn't wearing a top, or has it opened/rolled down. For his fuck toy, he loves your neck. Loves kissing it, biting it, licking it, squeezing it. Loves to mark your skin with his teeth, so you know who you belong to. And he enjoys leaving bruises where he's gripped so harshly.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically) For one, prepare for the most cum you've ever had or will ever have in your life from this guy. If you're giving him oral, you will be required to take every last drop, can't let any of the King's seed be wasted. Swallow it up like a good pet. He loves to stuff you full of his cum in other places too, and he'll hold your legs and hips up in a way that nothing can spill out of you. (Consider it a form of the King's blessings. Don't waste it.) He's not going to cum onto your body, because he wants to be inside of you when he reaches his climax and wants to see your face when he fills your insides with his unforgiving amount.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) This man is pretty openly dirty, I mean, he's the King of Curses, who is going to say anything about one of his kinks? But, a secret in general, he really enjoys back/shoulder massages, doesn't even have to get sexual, it just feels amazing to him to work the knots out of his large muscles. Since he's so large anyway, you could walk on his back or even use your knees to massage in certain areas if your hands aren't strong enough. It's the only time you notice he's truly relaxed and not terrifying.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they're doing?) Forget everything you thought you knew about sex, because he's about to show you what you've been missing out on. Through taking advantage of villagers, receiving sacrifices/offerings in the form of humans for his pleasure, bringing maids/servants into his chambers because he's simply bored... he's had quite a lot of practice to perfect his skill. Though he generally takes care of his own pleasures, he's keen to what others enjoy, even if they deny it. And if you aren't even aware of something you might like, he'll gladly introduce it to you and get you addicted to it. (Loves to see your eyes roll to the back of your head when he's found the thing that makes you lose all control of yourself.)

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying) He will keep you pinned in the mating press, so he can fill you as much as possible, and to hit every sweet and sensitive part of your insides without mercy. Watching you hopelessly struggle beneath him as he's taking you in a very primal way, it really gets him off. (Plus his tummy mouth is in a wonderful position to provide extra unbearable pleasure.)

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.) He's definitely serious in the moment. When the king is ready to fuck you, you better be prepared. He won't be in the mood for playing around or being silly.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.) Since it's the heian era, there aren't exactly many reasons to stay well groomed, nor is it probably practiced at all. You're going to get an au natural bush that definitely matches the drapes. Don't worry, his dick(s) are so large, they're not going to get lost in it.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect) He's not romantic. You're there simply to be used by him. He enjoys watching you struggle and cry from how rough he is. You could be asleep, in the middle of a task or even eating, and he's going to take what he wants, when he wants it. The only reason he offers the slightest prep and foreplay is so he can push inside of you easier.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon) Sukuna isn't the type to jack off. That's what his fuck toys are for. If he's feeling particularly lazy, you'll use your body as a fleshlight and bounce on him while he lounges back. He's either enjoying a fine drink or smoking his kiseru while watching you work.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks) He's definitely into BDSM. In fact, the more terror you appear to be in, the hornier this man gets. He's going to hurt you, no doubt about it. You're going to get bit, choked, tied up and even whipped because he loves to hear you cry out in pain. Don't worry, even if he gets out of control and nearly takes your life, he can heal you right up so he can continue to enjoy himself with your body.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do) In his throne, or on his bed. When Sukuna wants everyone to see how he treats his toy, he's going to be forcing you to ride his dick(s) while he's lounging in his throne. He might even hold conversation with some of his servants or village subordinates, but you're going to be falling apart as he uses his arms to keep moving you. When he wants you all for himself, he'll take you to his room and own your body again and again on his bed. A perfect place to tie you up if he wants. It's also easier for when he wants to go to sleep after, he's already in bed. All he has to do is push you out of it when he's finished with you.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going) Anything can get this man going. If you've angered him or appear scared by him, he's going to take advantage of you in a sinister way. If you accidentally bend over in his presence, he's going to keep you bent over while he proceeds to fuck your brains out. When he goes to lay waste to villages, you're his prize when he returns. A personal little gift to himself after ending innocent lives.

|| Hope you enjoyed! Comments and reblogs are much appreciated! ||

[homosexualgirlandbags]

Thoughts and prayers for me in these trying times. I don't want a baby but my body carves for children to work in the mines apparently.

Anyways, trans Ghost is something I like a lot. Not much is known about him, and almost everything in his life is redacted or extremely vague. Johnny learns this and gets fucking curious, almost desperate to learn something about Simon that isn't already in the files. He doesn't care what it was, he just needed the knowledge of something that isn't in his files yknow.

And out of nowhere, they began seeing each other, in a weird way. At this point, Johnny's curiosity is more than satisfied. He knows about his lieutenant preferences, of how Simon likes to spend his weekends at a shitty bar that has his actual legal name hung on the wall. (He was the only one who won in an arm wrestle against the bar owner you see. He's also fucking proud of it too, bringing the 141 there every time he could and see them question about the name on the wall). Hell, Johnny even knows that his lieutenant has 2 hot pink crop tops in his closet, and a mini skirt that seems to belong to one of Simon's ex.

So he most definitely wasn't expecting to find a picture of a girl in Simon's wallet, dated sometime when he was in his 20's, in the exact crop top and mini skirt along with a brown little purse. He pauses, hard, tiredness from fucking leaving his body as he connects the dots. His brain might have just short-circuited a little before he turns to Simon, who just seems far too amused.

"Wot? Never seen a girl with such immaculate dick game?"

Johnny might just kill the man for the shit eating grin on his face if it wasn't for the fact that he could feel himself getting hard again. Because he's a fucking nasty, flithy dog.

[soupbabe]

Marrying La Squadra Headcanons

Anon asked: What would married life with la squadrons look like?❤️

Hihi!! Thank you for requesting, I had a lot of fun with these 😅😅 though I'll admit I lingered on the wedding back stories a bit too much lol

Formaggio

- Formaggio never in his life thought he'd be married, he always dreamed of living a bachelor lifestyle

- But y'know...sometimes couples get drunk on special anniversary trips and impulsively get married at a cheap, tourist trap chapel in Vegas

- Formaggio would've loved the stereotypical Elvis impersonator officiamt

- The morning after would've been a bit hectic on his end, but Formaggio is a man who can commit

- He's been thinking about taking the proper steps to marry you anyways, as long as you were fine with the night prior there's no harm done!

- The marriage is a secret for a while, to the team it's as if nothing changed. Your new husband was just as clingy and doting as ever

- I think if weddings are an important part of your culture and something you'd really want to do-over, I think Formaggio isn't opposed to something more formal and traditional

- Though I think he'll always prefer to tell people the story of the shotgun wedding in Vegas, definitely makes him feel cooler

Illuso

- I think Illuso is similar to Formaggio, he never thought to be "tied down" to anyone, but meeting you absolutely changed his mind

- One word to describe Illuso: Bridezilla. He wanted everything to be perfect for the wedding, he might've been the most strict during this era

- I'm sure you had to talk Illuso out of having the wedding in the mirror world because he could control everything. Though after the wedding, he started to come down to his normal self

- The clingiest and softest you've ever seen him was during the honeymoon

- Illuso wouldn't stop calling you his husband/wife/spouse, he wouldn't stop referring to himself with your last name

- Being married you was something he didn't know he needed

- Illuso wears his ring like a badge of honor, he enjoys seeing the silver band that decorates your finger that tells everyone that you belong to him

- Every time he wakes up and you both have to leave for work, he makes sure to kiss your ring before he says goodbye

Prosciutto

- To no one's surprise, Prosciutto easily adjusted to the idea of marriage and the married life

- He can be tender and affectionate, of course he wasn't scared of spending the rest of his life with you.

- Prosciutto would prefer something small, only wanting close family to attend

- Absolutely he would be open to having separate or fusion weddings if you come from a different background. He'd have a lot of enjoyment sharing your traditions with you

- There's so much more confidence within the relationship, Prosciutto smiles when you brag about your husband. A smirk graces his lips when he can hold you by the waist and introduce you as his spouse

- It's very natural for Prosciutto to fall into a house husband role, he loves unwinding in the kitchen and cooking dinners for you

- Even in the honeymoon, he'd scoff at restaurant food and insist he could provide you with something better

- He's an ideal husband if you want to get pampered and recreate the classy romance you see in the movies.

Pesci

- Getting married to you was the scariest and the happiest moment of his life

- Pesci stumbled through the novel that was his vows, when he was able to kiss you he couldn't help himself and pulled you in with anxious excitement

- Even when he proposed, Prosciutto slapped his face and told him to man up before he pulled out the ring

- Like his brother, he prefers something smaller. He wants the moment to be intimate, private

- He cried so much ever since you two married

- Half the honeymoon was spent hugging him and reassuring him that yes, you two really are married, and yes, you really do love him that much

- Marriage or not, he's still just as shy and flustered since you met him. Doesn't matter how tough he tries to act

Melone

- Melone never really thought about marriage before, but it's a welcomed surprise

- I just know that when he got to kiss you during the ceremony, it made everyone instantly uncomfortable/j. He does not care about what others think, he just likes to show you how much he loves

- He absolutely uses the title of husband to his advantage, especially for silly things like pda.

- The honeymoon phase never actually ended for him

- As you two are further in the marriage, the more Melone starts to think about kids

- No secret he's good with them, Babyface has given him more than enough practice

- But having an actual, human baby? Oh it has him all giddy and anxious

- For the first time, you actually see him take a situation seriously. Whether you're giving birth or having a baby through alternative means, he doesn't want to have kids unless you know you're ready too

Ghiaccio

- I don't think marriage ever crossed Ghiaccio's mind growing up. Meeting and falling in love with you opened up so many doors

- It definitely scared him, if you weren't on the other end of the aisle waiting for him, he would've become a runaway groom

- Ghiaccio would so go off and rant about how nothing much has changed ever since you two got married. To him it's just "some name change and extra paper work"

- He'd say that he doesn't feel any different, but that's so far from the truth

- Tease him by calling him your husband, call him by your last name, and watch how his face turns pink and he tries to hide a smile

- It takes the longest for Ghiaccio to settle into married life. I'm not sure it fully registered to him how long you and him have been together

- He never thought he would be loved the way you love him. No matter how hard he pushed people away, you stayed and warmed his heart <33

- That being said never joke about divorce it'd freak him out. He'd cry.

Risotto Nero

- The married life with Risotto is special, as it brings out a completely different side of the capo

- May be an unpopular opinion, but Risotto is right up there with Illuso when it comes to being a Bridezilla

- All he cares about is adhering to your plans. He'll go above and beyond for research to make sure you won't get scammed

- Like yeah. He may have threatened the florist behind your back, but like. What was he supposed to do? The florist was the one trying to pass off rhododendrons as hydrangeas.

- But once the wedding is over, he's exhausted and looking forward to the honeymoon

- Solidifying the marriage made Risotto fully let down his walls around you. He smiles more, he's more physically affectionate, he lets you know that he belongs to you too.

- While you two try to keep chores and tasks equal, swapping out who does what, it's hard to deny that Risotto loves it when it's your job to cook

- He thinks it's adorable when you tie an apron around your waist, roll up your sleeves and get to work.

[angelcent]

ABOUT A GIRL・❥・S. GOJO

from an old ask: how do we feel about tattoist!gojo?! and your first tattoo being done by him. contains. tattoo artist gojo, tattoo virgin reader, grungepunk!gojo, fluff

lıllılı.ıllı.ılılıı — about a girl / nirvana

✧˚ · . tattoist!gojo is constantly recommended by people because he's known for several things: his pure attention to detail, his versatility in tattoo styles, how light his hand is, and how comfortable he makes his clients feel. he can be a little overwhelming and intimidating, though.

✧˚ · . unlike suguru who can be a bit pretentious and internally judgmental about his clients choices, tattoist!gojo really doesn't care as long as it's not something too offensive.

✧˚ · . his studio is decorated with an assortment of movie & concert prints, as well as pictures he's taken with suguru and shoko or their other friends. at the front desk is his ugly clay coffee mug that megumi made for him as a child that he now uses to store pens. it has a lot of personality and makes you feel at ease when you walk through the doors and fill out your paper work.

✧˚ · . when you first meet satoru, he doesn't take much notice of you because he doesn't want you to feel leered at; it's a common occurance for male tattooists to make others uncomfortable; and you're trusting him with such a vulnerable process, so satoru keeps his distance. keeps it professional.

✧˚ · . as it's your first time, he gives you a rundown of the entire process and is honest—blunt—about the pain you'll experience, but also reassures you that you'll be okay. "anyway, don't give that much though," he grins, absently twirling his pen. as if he hadn't just almost frightened you out of the door. "I'll take good care of you, hm? leave it to me." and he says it with such self assured confidence, that it completely eases your nerves.

✧˚ · . tattoist!gojo texts you a checklist in order to prepare for your appointment—what clothing is best, possible snacks to bring (water is provided), an on-call friend in case you want to be picked up, and oddly, what music you like?

✧˚ · . whatever is your music type is, you walk into his space on the day of your first session with it softly playing inside the shop. tattoist!gojo is talkative; walking you through his entire sanitation process and the tools he'll be using. unbeknownst to you, satoru is observant in his daily life and in his profession. he quickly caught the way your shoulders were drawn up with nerves, how you wiped the palm of your hand over your thigh. and the more you hear him talk, the more relaxed your body language becomes. it's why he does it.

✧˚ · . tattoist!gojo in an old washed out band shirt again. it's what he always wears, and most belong to suguru. his best friend has given up on his clothes being stolen after so many years.

✧˚ · . tattoist!gojo just as talkative when he's finally putting ink on your skin, and it surprisingly keeps your mind off the pain. sometimes you tune him out, but the rumble of his attractive voice keeps you grounded. satoru will talk about anything and everything. he tells you about his first tattoo—three eyes behind his ears on each side. six in total. and how he got them done at this small punk show when he was sixteen and egged on by his best friend.

✧˚ · . tattoist!gojo has ink all over his visible skin— arms, neck, you even catch a peek of more inked skin below the collar of his t-shirt when he leans down. what's cute is all the small doodles in the empty spaces between the bigger pieces, and he tells you how he did most of them himself whenever he's bored. some are done by friends, like a small happy face near his knuckle from haibara.

✧˚ · . as much as he tries to keep this professional though, satoru slowly becomes attracted to you over the course of your session. he rarely hits it off with someone so well, and he finds himself listening intently to every piece of information you give him about yourself.

✧˚ · . he can be a bit of an asshole sometimes, but you either call him out on it or bite back. he loves that.

✧˚ · . tattoist!gojo is great at calling to check up on your healing, giving you reminders on how to maintain it until the next session. he can't help but want to hear your voice, so he calls instead of texting or emailing like he usually does. you don't know any better, though. works in his favor.

✧˚ · . on your last session, tattoist!gojo is filled with the pride that never gets old at seeing the piece almost finished. what was once a mere idea is now brought to life and forever inked on your pretty skin. and you seem excited about it as well.

"see, not so bad now, was it?" he hums, wiping at the final touches. he doesn't bother to fight back the smirk. "told you I'm the best." "hm, you're alright. I guess." you tease, chuckling when he immediately looks up at you looking like a kicked puppy. "I'm kidding. thank you, satoru. really. I'm already thinking of what to get next, actually." if he were a dog, his ears would be perked up. tail wagging. he almost wants to barf.

"yeah? you sure you're not just saying that cause you'll miss seeing me?" he jokes, but deep down he's hoping you'll want him to remain as your future artist. even if that's the only way he'll keep seeing you, he'll take it. he's enjoyed far too much the way you make him feel wanted. "maybe I am." you murmur. swallowing your pride, you let the words spill out of your mouth. "but what if I wanted to see you sooner? you said I should go to your friends show this weekend. it'll be my first time, so it'd help to have you there." as soon as the words come out of your mouth, you're already regretting being so bold. satoru is just a friendly guy, he obviously just wanted his friend to get support and probably says that to everyone. so you backtrack immediately. "b-but if you can't or don't want to it's okay! sorry I just—" "'course I want to, buttercup. heh, I said I'll take good care of you, remember?" he laughs a little too loudly, quickly looking down at your finished piece. he wipes at the clean skin, pretending like he's working but he's just hiding his reddened cheeks. he hopes the crack in his voice was only audible to him. doesn't want you to see what a loser he is and how much you affect him.

[ilions-end]

🎵 guess who finished the argonautica by apollonius of rhoooodes 🎵

the peter green translation served me well and i enjoyed the sizable commentary section, although it probably influenced my interpretation more than i'd like for a first read (green is VERY opinionated and also hilariously bitchy about scholars he disagrees with. the first time i've read such a sarcastic translator's commentary!)

BUT ANYWAY THE EPIC ITSELF:

iiiii have never felt this much anxiety reading an epic before?? there's an ambiguity and sense of danger in this poem's events that aren't necessarily WORSE than in other epics, but there's a feeling that i can't... actually trust the heroes involved. the argonauts are rowdy and reactive, and jason is NOT able to take charge of them -- he shrinks away and goes silent whenever his leader position is called into question. the mob rules, whoever shouts the loudest (often telamon!) in any given situation gets to decide, no thought of consequences.

or maybe reading about a main character who wants to do great things but suffers from debilitating conflict avoidance is a little too real. agh.

(and it's not like the thebaid! you can't trust the heroes in the thebaid either but their hubris and egos makes them PREDICTABLE. there's something unnervingly ambiguous and potentially unsafe about jason and his argonauts, even though they never get up to anything truly horrible. in this version anyway)

jason is incredibly intriguing -- even at his most unlikeable. it's like he tripped and fell into a story he doesn't belong in, he's so awkwardly miscast as a great greek hero and can't live up to the poem's own hype. he's described as heroic at every turn even when he's not actually being heroic, like in an INCREDIBLE passage as he fights the dragon teeth warriors and he's said to "valiantly hide behind his shield". LOOK AT THAT PHRASE!! HE'S BRAVELY COWERING. incredible writing. apollonius is genuinely a master of subtle sarcasm throughout.

like it says a lot that there are MANY variations of the line "but Jason, eyes fixed on the ground, sat there speechless, unmoving, at a loss in this crisis". and baby there are a lot of crises in an epic...

also maiden-coded jason still makes me vibrate! his frequently downcast gaze, his shy passivity, how delicately his body is described, the way he is a sexual object to pursue instead of the pursuer, how unusually tactile he is... one of the most memorable parts to me is when he finally gets the golden fleece, and what does he do? he doesn't raise it above his head in triumph, he doesn't wrap it around himself like a glorious cape and stride to address his men. he disengages completely and, spellbound, pets it and caresses it and combs his fingers through it in almost erotic delight. just. immediate zoned-out personal gratification, we're hitting masturbation parallels, no other greek hero would DO that!

which also makes it interesting that they use the fleece as bedding for their wedding night. i wonder which one jason enjoys lying with most, medea or the fleece...?

yeah so when medea appeared suddenly allllll my affection for jason evaporated. i'm not one of those "yay medea butchering her children is girl power actually!!" girlies (that's five hundred times too reductive a way to engage with a greek tragedy for me), i was prepared for whatever kind of medea apollonius would give me, but WOW SHE IS SO INCREDIBLY SYMPATHETIC (and intentionally so, see how she isn't even the one to kill her brother in this), she is SO ill-treated here. it's SHE who undoubtedly is the gods' plaything in this, not jason!

like how HORRIBLE her experience of being obsessively in love is! (turns out getting shot by eros' arrow is a psychological and emotional NIGHTMARE!!) how painfully aware she is of her own irrationality, how intense her inner life is. at one point she thinks so much about jason all night that she self-induces a (shockingly realistically described) migraine! she loves him so much she wants to kill herself instead of feeling something so intense and unpleasant and overwhelming. JESUS CHRIST it's so evocative.

she torches her whole life, her own safety, her own family for jason, and all he can do (after a lot of pushing) is murmur vague promises. it's HEARTBREAKING the utter helplessness she accepts to live in for him. there is no safety net for her, no way to regain safety if things go wrong (and you are so painfully aware that things WILL go wrong)

generally the argonautica feels more closely related to the odyssey than any of the other epics i've read. not just all the sailing, but the centrality of magic, and of course visiting a lot of the same places -- including the court of alcinous and arete before they had nausicaa (and arete is already the one in charge!)

more moments i keep thinking about:

that first lovely glimpse of the inherent dysfunction of the expedition as the argonauts have gathered for the first time ready for departure, and jason delivers a speech like "men! now that *I*, jason son of aeson, have arranged MY glorious expedition so that *I* can find the glorious fleece and win MY kingdom back, who do we all figure should be captain? 😉" and all the argonauts immediately start chanting "HE-RA-CLES! HE-RA-CLES! HE-RA-CLES!" it's so funny

heracles' role is generally so amazing, what contrast he offers! because HE IS the old-school hero who can do anything, fight any enemy, who has everyone's ear (if not respect -- he seems to be a LOT to handle, even for the other argonauts), who can LEAD. but they FORGET HIM ON AN ISLAND AND LEAVE HIM BEHIND, and now jason, tripped-and-fell-into-epic-heroism jason!, gotta be fully in charge and timidly face every obstacle himself.

i genuinely didn't know hylas getting abducted by the nymphs was from this myth! AND HE'S HERACLES' LOVER, actually the eromenos to heracles' erastes?? and heracles LOSES HIS SHIT TO AN ANIMALISTIC DEGREE at the loss of hylas. this is why none of the other guys brought along their boytoys, dude, this is a disaster.

i REALLY appreciated the introductory rollcall of EVERY argonaut (even if half of them were never mentioned by name again). i always wish we had something like that for odysseus' main crew in the odyssey. it's nice having that overview.

one of the most memorable glimpses into the lives of the gods i've read: eros and ganymede in the garden, playing knucklebones together under the shade of flowering trees and they're both so youthful and so inhumanly beautiful and the scene is so idyllic -- and then aphrodite stomps in and immediately snaps at her son "what are you grinning at, you unspeakable little horror?" she HATES that spoiled teen. it's zeus and ares all over again.

speaking of gods, that one time the argonauts make landfall, and in the distance they see apollo just walking across the land (each footstep thundering) and they're scared stiff and just wait until he's fully passed by... and then can finally get on with their business. no followup, no consequences, just a random incident to freak them out. it reads like an animal encounter, like they saw a huge bear on a hike, i'm obsessed.

i got jumpscared any time the text mentioned "the son of oineus". i'm like WHAT. TYDEUS?? but no, meleager's here, it's fine.

as i mentioned, jason is the one who murders absyrtus (although medea isn't uninvolved) but i'm particularly fascinated by how neutrally we're told about the rituals he performs to not be cursed for it. like there's our wondrous hero, cutting off his murder victim's hands and feet, lapping up the blood and spitting it in the corpse's mouth three times. all done, welp, time we were on our way!

circe can see at first glance that she and medea are related because they both have the sun god's golden eyes, i love that!. and THEN THEY SPEAK TO EACH OTHER IN COLCHIAN, WHICH JASON DOESN'T SPEAK. he's sitting right there and i love that he doesn't understand what these incredibly powerful women are talking about.

obsessed with how jason is described as "walking like the morning star" (bright, promising, bringing good fortune) on lemnos and is then likened to a star of destruction and woe as he's about to meet medea for the first time. aaaaa it's so good.

the argonauts being challenged to a boxing match, and I GUESSED CORRECTLY that they would choose polydeuces as their champion!! i am embarrassingly proud actually. i did not know there was a boxing match (to the DEATH) in the argonautica but i KNEW polydeuces was famous for his boxing.

also i love that when they get to the garden of the hesperides it's a WRECK because heracles was there THE DAY BEFORE!!!! what an incredible sense of time and place, only seeing the IMMEDIATE AFTERMATH of the labours of heracles.

it's so WEIRD when the argonauts get to libya and they're out of supplies so they all just immediately give up and cry and hug and lie down in the sand to die. until the local goddesses come like "JESUS ARE YOU FOR REAL WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU GIVING UP NOW. GET GOING FOR FUCK'S SAKE."

oh ancient texts, i will never get used to your incestuous dreams of good fortune (no it's GOOD that he cried with shame for passionately fucking his daughter in his dream, that's a very lucky dream to have apparently).

and then apollonius just signs off like "yeah i know they're not home yet but i promise nothing interesting happened after this point. THE END." like he's just NOT gonna touch whatever fuckery happens after, you wanted the argonauts well you GOT the argonauts.

[millieisawriter]

Fishing date

kieran duffy x reader

summary: you didn't know what made you agree to go fishing with kieran, you didn't even like it. but maybe in this case fishing wasn't that important.

wc: 1.9k

all pics are from pinterest

♡this could be a standalone or a 2nd part to this fic ♡

It was safe to say you didn't know shit about fishing. Having basically grown up in the gang, throughout the years you had Arthur take you and John on fishing trips, except it didn't seem like he knew what he was doing either.

It seemed easy enough, right? Just sit by the water, rod in hand, waiting for a fish to catch the bait. But to you it was so boring. Even as a kid, you were already impossible to get to sit in one place for too long. The day your fishing rod snapped in half was a blessing, because now you had an excuse to not go. Arthur didn't mind either, he preferred taking you on more adventurous trips anyway, like hunting.

And nothing has changed by now. Even as a grown woman, you still held a certain dislike for fishing. Yet there you were, riding beside Kieran on your way to a good fishing spot that he had picked out.

Kieran was practically grinning from ear to ear, the shyness slowly disappearing the further from the camp you were. Eventually, you reached a creek, and dismounted from your horses.

"You're so quiet." You said.

The ride to the fishing spot was, indeed, quiet. This was something you expected from Kieran, however maybe not when this was supposed to be a date. Unless the girls misunderstood his intentions, and now it was actually going to be a very awkward fishing trip.

"Y-you know me," Kieran muttered, "all quiet and… all that."

And Kieran was silently cursing himself in his head for not being able to come up with any conversation. The furthest his planning went was asking you to go fishing, he didn't think about what he'd do if you agreed.

You couldn't help teasing him a bit. "All quiet and skittish, like a rabbit."

"Can you blame me? Every day I have people telling me I should've been killed off."

"Can't say I don't see why you spend most of the time with horses."

"Especially Arthur, can you believe how ungrateful he is? I- I saved his life, and most he can tell me is we're equal because he saves my life everyday he doesn't kill me."

"That's just Arthur," you chuckled as you took out a cigarette, while Kieran was preparing his fishing rod, "he doesn't mean it, trust me." You needed the cigarette to not just awkwardly stand next to Kieran when he fishes.

"It's just a lot sometimes," the man continued as he casted the fishing rod, "even the Adler woman keeps reminding me I don't belong here. I didn't know a woman could be so mean. The things she said to me, even you would be surprised."

"Even I?" You questioned, rising an eyebrow, but not in an annoyed manner. You were rather amused, and glad you got Kieran talking.

He even managed not to stutter. Maybe getting out of the camp filled him with some newfound confidence. "What I mean is… well, I guess you're just… picky with who you're being nice to. Just like your mare."

"And now I'm picky like a horse, you sure do know how to make a girl feel special." It was all a joke, you took no offense in Kieran's words, but you liked how nervous he got thinking he said something wrong.

"No, I just— I meant that, uh, you don't let just anybody get close to you."

"You ain't wrong, Kieran."

You were guarded, and you knew that. It was a choice. Even if you secretly wished to discover what it feels like to be truly loved, and to truly love someone, there wasn't much you could do.

Living constantly on the move meant that anything long term was off the table. You could leave the gang, theoretically, but you didn't want to, so you didn't ever consider it. Lastly, in case of desperation, you could always go for a man from the gang, but you weren't desperate.

And then, there was Kieran. As if some higher power had placed him in your life for a reason.

Kieran was quiet for a moment, watching his line in the water. Then he looked over at you, his eyes reflecting some kind of confidence you didn't expect. "I'm glad you came out here with me. I… I didn't think you'd say yes, to be honest."

"Well, at first I said no," you chuckled, "but then asked myself why not. Maybe I don't know how to fish, but maybe that's not what matters." Maybe what really mattered was the company.

"You don't know how to fish? Damn it, should've guessed when I didn't see a rod on you… I— I'm sorry, miss."

"First of all, it's not miss. I think we're way past that. Secondly, why don't you teach me how to fish, hm?"

You couldn't believe a sentence like this would ever leave your mouth. But a moment later you threw your cigarette on the ground, putting it out with your foot, and took the fishing rod from Kieran after he reeled it back in.

You stood by the water, holding the rod in both hands, hoping this one won't snap in half. Trying to recall any ideas of how to fish, you couldn't. You never paid attention.

"What are you waiting for?" Kieran asked, seeing you looking at the rod like a crow looks at something shiny.

"I… don't really remember how to fish."

"Oh," he paused, thinking about his next move, really wanting to do something that seemed risky, "let me teach you."

This wave of confidence was clearly surprising to the both of you. He stood behind you, from where he gently touched your hands, adjusting your grip on the rod. You could feel his warmth at your back, and suddenly you were well aware of every small movement he made. His fingers lightly brushed over yours and it, to your surprise, made your heart feel kind of tenstion you've never felt before.

"Okay," his voice happened to be right next to your ear as he guided you, "keep your hands relaxed, but not too relaxed. Just like this."

It was weird how out of place you felt. Screw the fishing rod, it wasn't that. The last time a man got this close to you was seconds before he ended up with his throat slit, but you weren't going to do that to Kieran.

"Now, when you cast," he continued, making you painfully aware of how attractive his voice actually was, "just swing, let it happen naturally."

You tried to focus on his instructions, you really tried you best, but you were so distracted, so overwhelmed. The closeness, the warmth, the sound of his voice left you uncharacteristically shy.

"Just like that." Kieran said, guiding your hands in the right movement, and all you did was just... well, be there and watch the catch fall into the water.

You managed to ask. "And now what?"

Kieran chuckled as he pulled away, a light blush on his face. "And now we wait. You'll feel when a fish catches the bait."

"Thank you, Kieran." You glanced at him with an awkward smile.

The two of you stood in silence for a few minutes, listening to the water as you waited for a fish to catch the bait. Kieran seemed content just being there with you, his face calm with a hint of smile, his eyes watching the line.

"How long does it usually take?" Your impatience started to show. As always, you were never the one to stand in one place for too long.

"There's no rule, just— hey, I think you got a bite!" Kieran's eyes lit up. "Let it pull, it's good if the fish gets tired."

You really wanted to just yank the fish out, it would've been way easier and quicker. But this could break the second rod in your fishing career, and that one wasn't even yours.

Kieran's hands were on yours again, now gently showing you how to deal with the fish as it put up a fight, to then slowly reel it in. The fish was desperately trying to break free, only tiring itself out with the attempts.

And finally, after a few moments, you pulled the fish out of the water. It was still trying to put up a fight as you hold it up in the air by its tail.

"Look at that!" Kieran laughed, pure joy in his voice.

You couldn't help but smile at him. "We did it! You helped me catch my first fish!" You turned to glance at the sky, seeing how the sun was soon going to dip below the horizon. "Maybe we can set up a small fire here and eat the fish on our own?"

Kieran's eyes slightly widened at your offer, in a good way. "Y-yeah, sure." And there he was, right back to that shy, stuttering boy.

You chuckled softly at his reaction. "I'll set up the fire, you take care of the fish."

And the two of you got to work, Kieran cleaning the fish meanwhile you set up a small fire to cook it. Pearson always ruins the good stuff anyway, so there was no harm in the two of you having a secret little dinner.

"You look like you know what you're doing." You commented, glancing over at Kieran.

"I kind of had to figure it out," he confessed, "I was a kid when my ma and pa died, had no one else."

Maybe you shouldn't have asked. Everyone in the gang had some kind of sad story, you as well, and most of the time you just never talked about those. "I'm sorry." You muttered, finishing up with the fire, a small flame appearing underneath the branches you've gathered.

"It's okay, we all have a past." Kieran replied. "I've seen you with a gun, you're pretty good for someone that shouldn't even know how to use one." He laughed, hoping you wouldn't take offense.

And you didn't find the comment offensive, you knew he didn't mean it in that way. "I've been running with the gang since I was little, Dutch took me in around the same time as he did John. At first it were just Arthur, John, and I, with the adults."

"Must've been tough for you, growing up with the boys."

You shook your head and smiled. "It was fun, Arthur taught me and John how to shoot, and Hosea taught us how to read, and if I had any girly problem, I just ran to Bessie or Annabelle... back when they were alive."

"I guess I've never had that. You all seem to... look out for each other, like a family. Meanwhile Colm goes through men like he goes through cigars."

You knew the Van der Linde gang was far from family, but it was the closest to a family you've ever had, so you were grateful for it. You all looked out for each other, just trying to survive together, running from the reality of how fast America has been changing lately.

You smirked at Kieran. "Are you saying our gang is better?"

He chuckled. "Actually, yes. I don't wanna say I feel like I belong here, but... well, that is how I feel."

Then you understood that. Kieran wasn't just some former O'Driscoll held captive by your gang. He wanted to be here with you all. He chose to belong. He was one of your own.

You didn't even realize you were watching him with a big smile on your face.

Noticing the smile, Kieran asked, chuckling, "What?"

"Nothing," you replied, even though your heart was saying something different, "guess I'm just glad you're one of us now."

[lucy90712]

hello 💌,

I was thinking about kenan and reader being apartment neighbors. They have an interaction when reader moves into the building. After some time they ride the elevator together and she has a heavy package that he offers to help her with. She accepts he's offer and they have chitchat until he finally gains the courage to ask her put.

:)

Getting my own apartment has been a goal of mine for the last year, my parents to were willing to let me stay at home until I was ready to move out but I wanted to try and move out as soon as possible to be independent. That is exactly what I've done I got myself a job in a new city and found an apartment of my own there. A lot of my friends and family have called me crazy for doing all this at once but I think it will be good for me to get out there and experience life and meet some new people. 

Seeing as I'm moving to a new city I don't have anyone to help me move in but I didn't have too much stuff so I put it all in my car and drove to my new apartment building. It took a few trips to get all the boxes up to my apartment but eventually I had the last few boxes which I had to put down when I reached my door so I could unlock it and just as I did so someone came out the door of the apartment next to mine. The noise made me jump but then I saw the guy that came out the apartment and all the air in my lungs disappeared. I've never seen such an attractive guy in my life part of that is probably to do with living in a small town but still he was so incredibly hot it made me nervous just being around him. 

"Hey I'm guessing you are just moving in I'm Kenan and as you can probably tell I live next door" Kenan said introducing himself 

"Nice to meet you Kenan I'm y/n forgive me if it's loud while I'm sorting things out I'll try and get things done as quick as I can" I said 

"Don't worry about it if you need any help feel free to knock on my door I'm just going out for a few minutes so I'll be back soon" he said 

"Thank you" I said 

With that he left and headed to the lift leaving me flustered as I fiddled with my keys and the lock on my door which seemed impossible to open in that moment. Eventually I made it inside and dragged the boxes in behind me but then I just flopped on the floor surrounded by all my belongings thinking about Kenan. I knew there would be more cute guys in a bigger city but I didn't think I'd meet one the minute I got to my new apartment.  Not only was Kenan cute but he was nice too he didn't have to stop and introduce himself and offer me help if I need it, not a single guy from my hometown would ever do that all of them live solely in their own world. 

Even though Kenan offered to help I didn't knock on his door even when I struggled putting some things together or reaching the top shelves of my kitchen cabinets. It's not that I was scared of inviting him into my apartment I was worried I'd seem like an idiot. If I knock in his door to help me build something and he does it in a few minutes I'll look like an idiot and I don't want Kenan to think I'm stupid not when he's the first nice and attractive guy I've met here. 

~~~~~~~~~~

I've been in my apartment for a whole month now which has gone by so fast it's almost crazy. It took a while for me to find a routine but now I have a schedule outside of just my work hours. Everyday when I leave for work I see Kenan sometimes we get the lift at the same time and other times when I get out the lift I see him coming down the stairs. Usually when we just come across each other in passing we smile at one another but say nothing but if we get in the lift together we will say a quick hi but that's it. I'd love to actually talk to him as he's definitely the most attractive guy I've met here or just in my life in general but I'm way too scared to embarrass myself. Not only that but someone like him must have a girlfriend and if he doesn't he's way out of my league anyway. 

Today is Saturday and usually I go out for a walk and get lunch by myself before getting some fresh ingredients to make myself a nice dinner but today I have other plans. When I moved in the place had some furniture like a sofa and some tables but it didn't have a bed frame which it was supposed to have but it didn't. So I've been sleeping with my mattress on the floor until I could get a bed frame which took forever but finally today it is being delivered. I had a call this morning to tell me when it would arrive so now I'm just waiting to get a call to buzz the delivery guys in. 

The call finally came at 4pm so I ran down the stairs as quick as possible only to be told that they wouldn't bring the boxes upstairs for me and nothing I said could convince them to do so. This left me with three heavy boxes to try and drag to my apartment by myself. I tried lifting all of them one by one but I couldn't even get them more than a few inches off the ground as they were so heavy. In that moment all I wanted to do was sit down on the floor and cry but that isn't going to get the boxes to my apartment so I got myself ready and started pushing one box towards the lift. It was hard work and took all of my strength to get it just halfway across the lobby which is where I stopped to have a break for a minute. 

"Are you ok there?" I heard a voice behind me ask and when I turned around I saw Kenan stood not far behind me 

"Yeah I'm fine" I replied trying not to make it obvious his out of breath I am 

"Not to be rude but it doesn't look like you're alright" Kenan said 

"You're right my apartment didn't come with the bed frame it was supposed to so I ordered one and they refused to take the boxes upstairs so here I am pushing them along the floor as I can't lift them" I admitted in defeat 

"God they must've been assholes please let me help you though you're going to hurt yourself if you aren't careful" he said 

"Are you sure?" I asked 

"Of course let me take this one then I'll came back and get the next two" he said

Somehow he lifted the box with ease right into the lift and then to my door like it was nothing. After I unlocked the door and he took the box into my bedroom he went back down for the next two leaving me to open the box in front of me. He was back before I knew it and instead of just leaving he sat down and helped me get everything out of the boxes and started to look through the instructions. I didn't expect him to be willing to help me get the boxes up here let alone stay and help me build it but I guess Kenan is even nicer than I first thought he was.

We worked together me reading the instructions and holding pieces in place as he put the screws in and attached all the pieces together. While we worked we talked to each other properly for the first time. Kenan told me he was 19 just like me and that he plays football at Juventus for a living which took me by surprise as I've never really been into football so I never know who plays for what team. Knowing that he's a footballer should've made me more nervous but the fact that he was so open with me made me feel more comfortable telling him about my life. He listened to every little thing I said when I told him about my life back home and why I moved. We didn't stop talking the entire time we built the bed frame and even when it was done we still sat there talking for a bit longer before grabbing my mattress and putting my room back together. 

After spending the last few hours with Kenan I didn't want him to leave so I wracked my brain for all the things I could do to get him to stay for a bit longer without seeming too weird. Then I thought about making dinner for us both as a thank you for him helping me. 

"Would you like to stay and I can make us some dinner as my way of thanking you for helping me with everything" I said 

"That would be lovely but you don't need to thank me I'm just glad I got here before you hurt yourself" he said 

"Well I'm going to thank you anyway" I said 

As I gathered things from my kitchen something in my brain remembered my dad telling me that footballers have strict diets to follow so I stopped what I was doing to ask Kenan if there was anything he wasn't allowed to have but he insisted that anything I made would be fine. Once I started chopping vegetables Kenan left his position on one of the barstools I have in my kitchen and grabbed one of my knives to help me with cutting everything. Instead of me cooking for him as a thank you it ended up with us cooking together which was actually really nice. While everything was cooking and we had cleaned everything up we had nothing to do other than keep talking and getting to know each other. 

Despite being a footballer Kenan was so down to earth and just normal. He didn't have an attitude or think he was more important than me just because he plays football which is how I've always thought footballers would be. All the boys from my hometown that played football were complete assholes and they didn't even play for well known clubs so I thought proper football players would be worse but Kenan has changed my perspective about that. I'm not someone who feels comfortable talking with people I don't know well but I feel so comfortable around Kenan and I feel like I can talk about myself without fearing he will make fun of me. 

Once dinner was ready we sat down to eat together which is the first time we've stopped talking in hours. Even after dinner Kenan didn't stop being a gentleman as he took my plate and washed up for me. After that it was the time for Kenan to leave as I didn't have any reason to keep him here any longer even if I didn't want him to leave. Neither of us knew what we were supposed to do as he stood by my front door and we just stared at each other. 

"Thanks again for helping me today this experience has been so much more enjoyable as I haven't had to do it alone" I said breaking the silence 

"I'm happy to help and it was nice to get to know you better seeing as we are neighbours" Kenan said 

"So umm sorry if this is too forward but I really like you and actually getting to talk to you today has only reaffirmed my feelings so would you like to go on a date at some point?" he asked 

"I'd love that" I replied 

With that we exchanged phone numbers and he promised to text me when he was free so we could plan a date. Who would've thought that some awful delivery men would land me a date with a guy like Kenan. 

[miaclemeverett]

amazon standing lamp - using drugs and sex and other unhealthy distractions and coping mechanisms to deal with losing people you love out of your own fault. the top-heavy amazon standing lamp part is a really old wilbur joke (back in 2020 he joked about naming a song this) and it also reminds me of how (i think it was him?) he once said that he moves house so often that he loses so many belongings and only has a few things left that he cares about, i think this pairs really well in the song how the artificial meaningless things are all that remain

mine / yours - the breakdown of a relationship, seeing the warning signs and the things you take for granted assuming a person will stay with you forever despite it all

around the pomegranate - this song reminds me a lot of "since i saw vienna", when a place (california in this song) becomes so married to a person that it serves as a source of comfort and nostalgia for when things were simple and happier. being on the road you can never set down roots and people come and go from your life

i don't think it will ever end - he lives life in front of millions of people (chat in this song) watching his every move, like an actor he either has to play the part he's made for himself or isolate himself from this audience, it's a repetitive cycle that sends him downhill

glass chalet - back in the dark days of 2021 i remember wilbur would always joke (SLASH SERIOUS) about quitting streaming and disappearing off the face of the planet for years without a single word. VERY HEALTHY MINDSET exhibited right here in this song

melatonin 130 - I LOVE 100 GECS!! but in all seriousness the constant reminder that you have mental illness/anxiety your entire life and you can only cope with it, that it impairs you even when you should be happy cus obviously you're living out what you thought was your dream and everyone else thinks you should be on top of the world duh!

oh distant you - JUST KILL ME. your sister was right but WORSE!!!!!!!! again you take for granted that someone will stick with you forever and only after it's over realizing that you can't fill the hole where they were. and again we're back on fixating on who is the villain in this narrative

eulogy - your sister was right but worse 2, this song focuses on the whispers (good and bad) leftover from a relationship. harkening back to screensaver where he says that the subject in talking about their relationship basically makes him sound like hitler, and your sister was right where he talks about the warning signs the subject should have seen, this squarely places the blame on him

dropshipped cat shirt - I LOVE 100 GECS!!! but anyway the grueling day-to-day of being on the move, singing to people who adore you and make up a version of you in their head, latching onto unhealthy coping mechanisms to keep going, you have everything you ever needed and wanted but you're bored out of your mind

the median - short but sweet! as i said earlier, wilbur always has to play a part, and this audience projects their version of himself as the truth

trying not to think about it - I KNOW I PUT DAMN NEAR THE WHOLE SONG DOWN HERE BUT LISTEN. again realizing how much you take for granted the assumption that someone will stick with you forever. wilbur has mentioned before how as a hypochondriac, he's never taken seriously by doctors whenever he doesn't feel well. also this idea of romance and love as something just for the aesthetic, not as something that gives you stability and meaning but realizing that it can be that for you until its too late.

10 week rule - who got him pregnant?? but in all seriousness i think this can be read as a way of turning a new page, but obviously its not as simple as just getting rid of something unwanted