#like so many years ago
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This is mine and haru's song and it plays when we break up and aim to destroy each other's lives lol (it's a great fuckin song everyone go listen)
#i actually found this song in an spn edit aahahahaaa#like so many years ago#it's so good#yes i watched 11 seasons of spn ok.......im sorry#hal talks#Spotify
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if we could stay connected, just like this
#ok last orbit niigo post im emubrained again and also i miss leoneed#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#mizuki5 spoilers#proseka#mizuki akiyama#mizu5#nightcord at 25:00#hurray !#meltdown released an amazing translation of the event so i read it and had my final cathartic transgender cry about it#and now i have ~4 assignments due on friday so i have to stop drawing mizuki. sad.#i recommend everyone watch meltdown's translation#please. its very good and better than the mtls floating around#i Get why people wanted to see it translated asap like i Get it i didnt understand half of the wordplay or kanji but like . wah#its so crazy how this event breached containment n how many people are rooting for mizuki even tho they dont play the game so i just#think its a shame that the translation everyones reading isnt really accurate/lacks the nuances.. Ok sorrynits a good event.#ive just been thinking abiut that for a few days and i love talking in tags. Adios#real Orbit heads will know this is an Heartorbit reference (that tarot card sketch i did almost 2 years ago and said i would finish)#(i havent finished shit)
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
Plain-text version:
Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
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kitties :)
#my art#gtws#goodtimeswithscar#goodtimeswithscar fanart#??? id ont know#do the kittens have tags yet i am blissfully unaware. or perhaps whatever is the antonym of blissful. i would like to be aware#i love drawing cats. my true calling.#sick and twisted that ive been drawing animals for many many years whereas i started drawing humans like a year and a half ago#and now humans are easier for me to draw. what has the world come to#anyway the new cats are so so cute and i look forward to seeing much more of them in the future
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steady breathing now, jojo!
(this is a redraw hehe)
#jjba#jojo no kimyou na bouken#jojo’s bizarre adventure#caejose#caesar zeppeli#joseph joestar#jjba fanart#anime#jjba part 2#jojo fanart#jojo part 2#jjba battle tendency#jojo battle tendency#shounen#gay people#i just think the hamon mask is a very uhhhhhhhh versatile device#redraw#anyway i just think the leap from 2019 to 2024 is cool#can’t believe i drew that five years ago that’s nuts#it feels like yesterday but also it’s so bad#IF YOU LIKE IT THATS COOL BUT HHHAJBFBJG IM SO BOTHERED BY HOW I DREW CAESAR HAHAA#clearly i think this is way better clearly#but also it’s really sweet that so many people liked the og in the first place#I think even catney lang monarch of caejose either liked or reblogged it#it shattered my entire earth#anyway peace love hearts xoxo#$wag money
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So Hilda season 3. (This post has nothing to do with hilda season 3)
#no spoilers here y’all are good#this was inspired by watching season though#holy fuck dude#when I posted this on other platforms half my comments were “’HILDA S3 IS OUT???’#NO ONES TALKING ABOUT IT AND ITS CRIMINAL#I may start posting more hilda art but it’ll take a bit to get to s3 content maybe#cus I still have so many ideas just from season 2 I never got out#take this with a grain of salt#hilda#hilda the series#hilda netflix#twig hilda#this post is based on some old aged up hilda designs I posted like 2 years ago#I’ve missed them
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Felt a bit nostalgic watching RT shut down…Here are the og faves again for old times sake 💙
#rvb#agent washington#agent Carolina#lavernius tucker#michael j caboose#epsilon#my art rvb#ahhh a lot of feelings…of course I stepped away from rt as a company a long time ago#but RvB is special to me!! it was my first fandom experience ever#and the community here on tumblr specifically was so instrumental to me growing up#I really could not have asked for a better community of artists and writers to grow up in. I know it sounds like platitudes when I say#that everyone was super nice and talented but REALLY. People were so kind to me and somehow I became well known despite#my art and writing and me in general still being immature and hashtag cringe#I found my creative legs and#people would respond to my stuff with walls and walls of support in the tags and we would do exchanges and events every year#I made my first lyric comic and it’s still doing extremely well on YouTube even today!! my dad who passed away recently always loved it#and my favorite RvB writer came out of hibernation to write me a bunch of text wall asks about it#I’ve never had another fandom experience quite like RvB#I still keep in touch with many of my friends from that time period even though we’ve all moved on the other things#these guys will always always have a place in my heart#so long reds and blues….
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I finally watched Good Omens and I love it
#LIKE I REMEMBER 4 YEARS AGO SEEING SO MANY POSTS ON MY DASHBOARD#I NEVER GOT SPOILED BUT IM SO GLAD I WAITED#I WOULD HAVE SUFFERED SO MUCH WAITING ALL THOSE YEARS FOR SEASON 2#anyway#good omens#good omens fanart#crowley#aziraphale
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this is the iconic dinosaur horror jurassic park wishes it was
#so there's this person on twitter who is like an infamous drama starter and got a whole forum shut down once#and they wrote this (different) book that's one of the greatest so bad it's good things i've ever read#a few great things that happen in that:#characters get in a car crash and flee on foot. later it's casually mentioned one character had both her legs amputated 'due to fractures'#the character pretending to be american by wearing maga hats that have spy gear built into them#the spy gear in question is an alarm that blares if someone lies in their vicinity#'stuff protocol ' said the queen. 'i'm getting hammered tonight'#the chapter where the prime minister is trying to watch the news so she keeps wandering into bars and tv shops and getting kicked out#the dragon that's casually described as 'about the size of 1000 elephants'#the dragon that's a 'dog dragon hybrid with a chihuahua body and a giant dragon head'#the dragon that's owner punched it in the face and only lets people approach if they 'do the iconic royal wave'#the characters being described as 'the short one' 'the guy with the beard' etc#but there being a lengthy detailed description of the characters in harry potter#'apparently a dragon had burnt essex to cinders in a matter of minutes'#anyways i found out they also wrote (a political parody of indiana jones???) for this book of kids short stories years ago#and you know. we needed to know#so it took me like 4 months to track this precious lost media down#which was very worth it because it turns out it's full of many other iconic gems like CELLAR HELL by Elizabeth Elgie (12)
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DJ and Ty. I've always thought they were cuties, they both seem like such genuinely sweet guys.
#dj qualls#ty olsson#werepires#cutest coworkers to friends to roommates to lovers story#some of the pictures are blurrrrry#but some of the pics are from 10+ years ago#or they were drunk when taken#or both#ty looking like he's about to devour dj in that birthday pic#sorry so many pics#i love love#congrats to them#another spn love story
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OH WHATS THIS??? A MAN I HAVENT DRAWN IN, LIKE, A YEAR???
Yea remember when I originally was a sun and moon artist for two seconds? Legit popped into the fandom and then disappeared. Lmao
Anyway drew this on a magma with pals! Was kinda relaxing to doodle this dork again! Oh man I...really need to actually watch Help Wanted 2! Hadn't gotten a chance to!
#fnaf sun#fnaf security breach fanart#fnaf#the daycare attendant#daycare attendant#fnaf daycare attendant#sundrop#my art#sketches#Sorry to jumpscare all my WH followers!!! lmao#Though I'm so sure most WH enjoyers at least know sun and moon in passing#ITS FIIIIIINE#also like holy damn Sun looks so different from how I USED to draw him#though again it was on magma so like. My style tends to change depending on brushes and programs#oh it was kinda nice to draw sun again. Woulda drawn moon too but I lost steam#waving at my old loves even though it was literally only a year ago#hello old hyperfixation. how ya been?#I still follow so many sun and moon blogs.#I love seeing the two still pop up on my feed
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Moon Phos/Invasion arc Phos in Chinese Mafia AU... imagine...
after almost one whole year of receiving this ask, i finally present this crude sketch of triad au moon phos dressed in cheongsam.
i suddenly felt like drawing this au again! this moon phos was fun to think about... i imagine their body would be more tatted around the neck, arms, and legs.
more recent sketches on my side twitter here
#houseki no kuni#pemprika replies#hnk triad au#i haven't casually sketched like this in a long time... really fun!#i miss spiraling into a bunch of brainrot aus#this all started when i simply wanted to see shinsha in cheongsam back in 2020... crazy what brainrot does to you#how many of you actually remember this elaborate au i made up 5 years ago!! TT so long ago
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weird day to have been an rt fan several years ago
#waveridden.txt#so many of my friends today are people i know because of rtah. either directly or indirectly#the people i met in that fic scene... like 8-10 years ago at this point are still some of my best friends and my mutuals#this is like. so fucked. i am sad and vindictive and outraged and feeling lots more stuff i'm not getting into outside of group chats lmao
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…y’think they ever explored each other’s bodies
#the answer is yes#gigolas#gimleaf#gimlas#legimli#legolas/gimli#gimli/legolas#legolas x gimli#gimli x legolas#gigolas fanart#gimleaf fanart#LotR#lotr fanart#tolkien#illustration#planetvries art#my art#♈️ art#fanart#I feel like the fandom for them has grown SO MUCH#I remember it like it was yesterday#so many years ago#trying to find gigolas/gimleaf/gimlas content#and there was some! (I wish all of you there pillows that are always cool and socks that are never wet)#but NOTTTTTT like now#so stoked#currently hyperfixating on them so strongly that I can’t sleep#absolutely incredible what homoeroticism can do to a man#also not helping that I am reading sansûkh#i love straight best friends. yippee. wahoo.
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Gonna finish Gideon one soon, but for now you can have this Harrow
#the locked tomb#harrowhark nonagesimus#harrow the ninth#harrow the 9th#gideon the ninth#things ive made#idk man the 1page1day not going great and it’s only been 1 week#one week where I only worked 3 days mind you#(local holidays)#maybe I really wasn’t made for creating art jdhsjdjcbcj I see so many cool people online#where they’ve been better than me 10 years ago so where does that math leave me hm#for a person who’s really into bones herself (preceding my love for harrow ironically) I REALLY don’t know them#I mean you can always say that’s A Stylistic Choice but I’m also so lazy#like… just trace them girl
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#dnp#dan and phil#phan#dan and phil games#dnpgames#dan and phil games is back from the dead#daniel howell#phil lester#amazingphil#pics#my posts#sorry im not a gif maker but i just wanted to make a little comp of some of my favourite videos/moments from the past year#i can't believe it's been a year already 🥲#i love dnpgames so much it carried me through my teen years#rewatching videos kept me comforted through the hiatus#through to now a steady year of the most fun silly and open content in this new era#came back when i needed it most and they're here to stay <3#i need to be up in like 4 hours but i can't keep rearranging pics and deciding what i want to leave and include so. here u go#so many phanniversaries this month but this day is special to me and so is dnpgames#where were you one year ago when that we request your presence on this channel tweet dropped#yapping in the tags
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