#like shit happens and you view it one way at the time and then you will look back on it a million different ways
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Carry-On | J. MacTavish
pairing: soap x female reader (idk he calls them lassie so)
warnings: none just fluff 'cause idk this was cute in my head?
synopsis: something something meeting soap in an airport late for a flight
a/n: just had this random thought and I thought it was cute for soap like just imagine meeting this scot at an airport and he handles your luggage?? yeah thanks bye
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requests open for call of duty!
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Your feet pound mercilessly on the ground, eyes scanning the signs above your head and the ensuing clacking of wheels on the tile behind you. Inside your head, you can hear a clock ticking with every second you are trying to race it.
This just had to happen to you, of all days and all people. It was (Y/N) starring in the no good, very horrible, everything gone wrong day. You grip your bag a little tighter as you stop in hopes of assessing your location. Your eyes dart all over the vastness of the airport. The skylights flooded the room with sparkling sun, the dull white and gray of beams crisscrossing in what was probably a modern design. Signs are located in every direction, with letters, numbers, and arrows accompanying them.
People skirted past you, knocking shoulders, mumbling apologies, and even yelling to get out of the way. But by this point of the day, you honestly couldn’t give two shits. You had a flight to catch and it would be really nice if you couldfigure out where.
“Attention all passengers: Flight UA43 is now boarding.”
“Oh, fuck,” you curse loudly. You pull your phone from your pocket, fingers splaying over the screen to log in and view your boarding pass. In the meantime, your legs begin carrying you in the direction of where you believe the gate is. You make quick hurried steps, still checking your phone and dragging your small carry-on suitcase.
It was your fault, really, when you collided with a brick wall and your phone flew to the ground, your carry-on toppling over, more crashing sounds, and a pair of arms around your waist. One hand splays across your back to keep you from falling and the other digs into the flesh of your waist.
“I got ya!”
Stumbling a bit, you immediately grabbed what was in front of you. It turns out it wasn’t a wall, rather, someone’s shirt. You could feel the rippling muscles underneath.
“Oh god! I’m so sorry!” You usher out.
At the same time: “shit, shit, ‘m sorry!”
You stared straight into his chest, letting go of his shirt as he dropped the hand on your waist. Your face burned with heat at the thought of being so close to a stranger. You can’t help the cologne that floats off him like a whisper, begging you to come closer. He smells like bergamot and iris, a refreshing earthy scent that leaves you reeling.
“I wasn’t paying attention,” You explained, both you and the stranger picking up your fallen luggage, and his hand left your back.
“Neither was I. My fault.”
You pause when you stand back up with your phone and finally get a good look at him. It should be a crime the way whatever you were gonna say next falls completely silent as cerulean eyes pierce into you. It should also be a crime that you managed to forget about the flight you’re desperately trying to catch in exchange for a man who is jaw-drop gorgeous, with a mohawk and you think you heard an accent.
The intercom announces your flight again and you shake your head. “I have to catch this flight—,” You’re already moving in the direction of your gate. No way were you coughing up another $500 because of horrible time management.
“UA34?” He asked, his suitcase clacking behind him as he caught up to you.
You turn to look at him. “Yeah.”
He gives you a toothy grin. “Seems we’re both a little loss then, aye?”
You can’t help the way the corner of your lips turn up a bit. You weren’t going to be the last person on this flight. “You too?”
He nods his head in the direction of your gate. “C’mon, lassie, we got a flight to catch.”
Without thinking, he’s grabbing your free hand and dragging you through the airport. He weaves through the crowd like an expert, dodging left and right and slipping through the spaces between two people. You’re stumbling behind him, both yours and his luggage clicking loudly against the tile. It’s a catastrophe of noises as you mumble apologies to passing people who gasp and shout. Yet somehow, you find yourself more focused on the warm hand in yours leading you to salvation.
He lets go of your hand as you break from the crowd and can see your flashing gate number at the end of the stupidly long hall. You both break into a run, turning to face each other and laughing at the ridiculousness of it. Your bag swings wildly at your side as you race next to him to a flight you didn’t think you were gonna make.
“C’mon!” He shouts, waving his hand forward.
“This is crazy!”
You nearly crash into a couple and their coffee, shouting an apology as you rush through the airport. He grabs your hand again when you start slowing down, clasping the handles of your luggage in the other.
“We catching this flight, or not?” He teases, not nearly as breathless as you. “Haul ass, lassie!”
You grip his hand a little tighter, something like a spark of determination that wasn’t there before arising as you let him pull you the final steps.
“Well, you just made it!” The flight attendant said as you both fumbled to hand over your boarding passes.
“Thanks,” You pant, flashing the stranger a tired smile. He matches it, blue eyes flickering with pride.
“Enjoy your flight,” She said, tearing away the ticket and ushering you inside.
He lets you go first, still carrying your luggage that you’d honestly forgotten about. You weave between seats, searching for your row and number. You’re waiting for him to break apart from you, but he doesn’t.
You finally find it. “This is me.” You drop your hands to your side.
He nods and with ease, lifts your carry-on into the compartment above your seat and then his.
You fall into your seat, strapping the buckle across and taking a deep breath. You watch as he slams the compartment shut and you’re prepared to say goodbye before he sits down next to you.
“Name’s Johnny,” He greeted, extending a hand. “But you can call me Soap.”
You shake his hand, a little pointless for formalities as he had already dragged you hand-in-hand through an airport. “(Y/N). Why Soap?”
Soap smiles at you again, all pearly whites and laugh lines you want to trace. “You’ve got a whole flight to find that out, lassie.”
– END –
Read more, HERE. Never wanna miss a fic? Join HERE.
🏷 soap taglist: @looking1016 @Bitchyzombietaco @lilwinchester67 @crypticlxrsh @echo9821
#cod#call of duty#call of duty modern warfare#cod soap#john soap mactavish#soap cod#soap x reader#soap x you#soap x y/n#johnny soap mactavish#john mactavish#John mactavish x reader#john mactavish x you#johnny mactavish x reader#johnny mactavish x you#soap fluff#soap mactavish x reader#johnny soap mctavish x reader#John soap mactavish x reader#cod mw2#cod mwii#cod mw soap#cod x reader
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new oc/sona yaaaaaay!
oh how i wish i had all those piercings (bridge come back to me💔)
can we guess where his name came from gang (suspiciously username shaped name)
i actually really enjoy his character design and i literally color picked his color pallet from a diagram(?) that shows how a bruise heals and it worked out LMAOO sooo new character design life hack
more info and lots of general yapping about him after the break if you care to read :3 and i yap a LOT i have lots to say about him bc its been a while since i genuinely developed an oc LMAO
cw for LOTS and LOTS of talk of death if you do decide to read! just in case :3
first of all you may be thinking “5’6? short king!” and i will have you know i actually made him taller than i am irl by a few inches LMAOOO whoops t boy swag will do that to ya
anyways the thing about his color pallet being based off of that of a literal bruise IS actually relevant because he is literally immortal and is CONSTANTLY getting injured like all the time. i think conveying info about characters via their color pallets is fun and i wanna do more of it so hehe. plus green and red and purple are a nice combo and it worked out very well :3 also another little note about his design: he’s a very creative and artistic person and i wanted to show that through his clothes being somehow modified and i think i did that well too. trying to properly get back into making actually decent and thoughtful character designs so im proud of myself :3
that being said his immortality causes him a SHIT load of problems. i feel like being immortal would really suck LMAO but more-so i feel like i dont see people do much with the idea of immortality in terms of horror or at least not from what i’ve seen. like im still figuring out his lore but the basics are: he has no clue who his dad is and found out he was immortal at a somewhat young age but literally his entire life he’s been viewed as just kind of off?? like he looks human and for the most part acts it but he just has certain traits that humans…. do not have. his eyes glow in pics like a nocturnal animal’s would and his teeth are suspiciously sharp and he gets weird cravings for raw meat which he can somehow digest perfectly fine with absolutely no issue but he’s not like OVERTLY some otherworldly creature he’s just a little weird. a tad strange even. possibly even kind of unsettling depending on who you ask.
and i like to imagine these are a lot of things that were present in his childhood too, like his mother would wake up to the sound of rummaging in the kitchen and find him at the ripe old age of five just gnawing at a whole raw steak in the dark. he’s just sort of always been like that and didn’t realize it was weird until he was older. (is a lot of this used as metaphors for undiagnosed neurodiversity/mental illness? …..iii dont knowwww :3 (yes) (although not every aspect of him is a total reflection of myself, he is still his own character in many respects lolol))
but in general this ends up causing him all sorts of issues in all sorts of millions of ways. for one he has sort of a fragile sense of self because he doesn’t even know what he is?? he knows he can’t just be a regular old human because of all the previously mentioned reasons and a few more, but that aside he has no idea what he is. he also doesn’t know pretty much anything about how his immortality works beyond what he’s experienced and what the others have told him during the times when he’s “dead,” he has no idea how his aging is affected by it because he seems to be aging relatively normally so far, he has no clue if he will EVER die for good/if there’s any way to kill him, he has no idea how his body seems to heal the most insane fatal injuries as if nothing happened, and much more quickly than a normal human would, he kinda doesn’t know jack shit about himself and it pisses him off a little bit!
it also has just caused him lots of trauma as you can probably imagine. lots of dissociation everywhere he looks
moving on to how his immortality actually works: like i said there’s only so much he knows about it but this is all the info he knows so far. he CAN “die” but all of his deaths are temporary. that is to say that his body will eventually heal and regenerate itself and he will come back. it’s not like deadpool where he can get stabbed in the head and go about the rest of his day like nothing happened, he might be able to keep himself up for a while to fight back or run away but it wont be long before he drops dead for a few days or so. during said time his body outwardly does seem very dead. he’s unresponsive and still and isn’t blinking or nothing and his pupils are blown (which he already has huge pupils but yk), like if you were to just show him to someone they’d be like “yeah that’s absolutely a corpse and also why would you show this to me.” but his body is still alive in a sense, it’s just sort of… yknow when you put a computer into sleep mode?? upon first glance it’s gonna look like it’s off but inwardly things are still going on. his body is still working to regenerate itself the whole time, even if whatever he sustained that “killed” him would very much not be healable or survivable by any normal person. in his POV, he just sort of gets knocked out for a while and then wakes up exhausted and sore and absolutely FAMISHED. like he could easily eat a horse without any exaggeration the boy can eat.
he’s also always been interested in horror and the supernatural and crime and shit and is largely desensitized to that sort of stuff from that + experiencing a lot of different deaths himself bc of the whole immortality thing paired with him being generally reckless when he was younger because what’s it gonna do? kill him? (“what’re you gonna do, jeff the kill me?” -him at jeff moments before being stabbed, probably) he says he doesn’t care but it actually effects him deeply in ways he doesn’t understand for a while. as he gets older he becomes less reckless and doesn’t throw himself into dangerous situations as often.
all that being said he’s not necessarily all that dangerous himself?? he carries his dagger around with him for protection or cutting up meat and apples or woodcarving more than anything and as a proxy he works a lot more as just an… observer. despite his name he’s not really all for the killing people stuff if he can help it unlike many of the others, if anything his name more so refers to the fact that HE’S usually the one getting slashed up. (it’s actually just bc of my username but shhhhhh) but generally he much prefers to be in the background keeping watch or scoping things out or just sort of… stalking people basically. dont ask me how he manages to be stealthy in THAT outfit… he manages somehow i swear 😔
but yknow overall he’s not an incredible threat to most people, the “creepy” part of him being a creepypasta comes a lot more just from how much it would suck to be in his shoes as just a guy who happens to be immortal but still able to experience the pain of death over and over again. he isn’t the creepy thing as much as his entire life experience is LOL. usually he’s just unsettling and disturbing at most.
he also has a VERY complex relationship with BEN in my AU specifically (WHICH RANDOM DISCLAIMER TIME: NOT THE LITTLE 12 YEAR OLD VERSION NOOOOO EW my au’s BEN is like a combo of “fanon” him and behavioral event network he is not 12 years old and i dont want him being shipped with anything NEAR that version of him, ONLY my AU’s version who is 19. im not a freak. 💔 they’re not a couple anyway (BEN🤝slasher -> being aro) but i did wanna preface that just in case bc im not trying to get misinterpreted like that) might write more about that sometime… bc their relationship has a lot of symbolism and complexity bc BEN is my fav character ever period and yes i am gonna write him and my self insert oc as being incredibly deeply intertwined bc i love him and cringe culture can kick rocks and therapy is difficult to get :3 oc x canon shippers platonic or romantic yall will always be safe on my blog frfr
im gonna post more about BEN soon too…. literally working on actually making a proper design for him rn which is mostly just difficult bc i cannot for the life of me think of what to give this freak to wear. i need them to serve cunt but like….. how do i do that 💔💔 that one BEN design i reblogged that gave him the adorable little heels….. absolutely genius………. u know who u are :3
more random rapid fire fun facts about him bc why not: he loves piercings and tattoos and body mods bc they heal so easily for him, he has his tongue split! (NEEEED to do one day actually my dream body mod), his immortality doesn’t seem to effect his ability to get sick which he HATES but when he does get sick it only lasts for a day or so and he’s a total drama queen the whole time, he loves to sew (though only by hand, he’s genuinely afraid of sewing machines) and will patch up or modify clothes for his friends or other proxies if they ask, his favorite kind of raw meat is boar, and his favorite cooked meat is a tie between pork (boar or domestic pig) and chicken, he wears his headphones most of the time bc he loves music and sounds can sometimes overstimulate him, and BEN can talk to him through them because of course he can, he loves animals and actually has way more empathy for them than for humans, and he absolutely LOVES medical dramas and does not care that a lot of the actual medical parts are inaccurate he will eat them up. he WILL be caught staying up until 6am watching chicago med and he will not apologize.
ANYWAY i think that’s about it actually. if anyone actually read all my ramblings…. i love u /p u mean very much to me /p
i WILL be yapping more soon (except probably about the actual “canon” pastas hehe) :3
#creepypasta oc#creepypasta oc art#art#digital art#small artist#artists on tumblr#my artwork#creepypasta#creepypasta fandom#my sona#artist sona#sona art#self sona#sona redesign#i yap too much#like way way way too much#ITS MY BLOG I CAN DO WHAT I WANT i scream as they drag me into the padded cell#seriously tho if u read everything… thank you LOL#i don’t expect anyone to i just love to ramble#i have lots and lots of thoughts in my brain#speaking of i would LOVE to make a creepypasta comic someday like seriously#i just…. need to do a lot of writing#and drawing#but hopefully i will one day#:3
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christ alive I love my parents and I'm glad I got to see them but they are just. so fucking exhausting
#i've identified something about them#which is this#they genuinely do not grasp that other people have Real Experiences that don't map to their view of the world#like it's not that they don't view those experiences as valid or whatever#it's that they genuinely and truly do not grok that other people have experiences they don't approve of#like that the experiences actually happen and aren't made up#“why do you insist on referring to X with they/them pronouns?”#“because they don't identify with a gender”#“well you're either one or the other”#“well they don't feel that way and they don't identify with a gender”#“well you're one or the other”#“okay but literally they do not feel that way and you not liking that doesn't change it like wtf and also sex and gender aren't the same”#etc etc etc ad fucking nauseum#fucks sake#also this is always my mom who drops this shit#my dad just pretends like nothing is happening and ignores the conversation like the wuss he is lol#to be fair i get it because i would not go up against my mom either if i was him because he has to live with her stubborn ass#it's probably obvious but they blithely misgendered me the whole goddamn time they were here#UNLESS THEY WERE IN FRONT OF OTHER PEOPLE IN PUBLIC LOLOLOLOLOLOL#HMMMMMMMMM#FUNNY HOW THAT WORKS#anyway fuck them and i hope they get home safe because they're old as fuck and probably going to die in the next 5-10 years#and when they do it will be terrible and also part of me will be relieved and idk how to feel about that tbh#so like#yeah#:/#covington-shenanigans gets personal#(to be clear they just didn't use pronouns for me at all in public)#(they have never once gendered me correctly and probably never will)
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biting my fingers off
#resizura rants#this is why im mad that remake separate ways nixed adas report#because she makes it clear she only helped leon when it benefitted her#and its even more obvious in the remake but people cant realize that#and also this is so dumb because this has never happened#in re2 she actively tries to get leon to leave her alone#in re2r she’s the one who uses him for her mission#she doesnt help him with shit except for a couple convenient favors#re4 i already talked ab#and in re6 the whole point is everyones campaigns tie together#ada also helped jake and sherry#and she basically helped everyone by going after carla which was her main goal#and ofc if you only view ada as an extension of Ieon you’re gonna come to this conclusion#because fans dont see her as anything other than that#shes just leons eye candy and everything she does is for him#yeah she doesnt do anything for anyone else ever#she just had her entire life changed by one dumb white guy who she’s met like 4 times over the course of a decade
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i wrote another rambly dennis analysis and deleted it <3 y'all don't need that
#ada speaks#this happens every time im on my period like fucking clockwork there's something wrong with me#dennis' essence is contained in the ovaries#it was some shit about how he's not actually the cis male power fantasy so many idiot dudebros think he is#and that he's like. ok listen. this will sound insane and probably piss Someone off but.#dennis is like. the worst and most repressed aspects of a female power fantasy#which. the way glenn treats him is.#basically that#yes his character is inextricably linked to misogyny and male privilege but#it's almost like its coming from a perspective that lacks that and he's somewhat of a hypothetical and very opposite exploration#does this make sense#anyway i dont think i can explain this 👍 but i think he's somewhat of a guilty pleasure to write because of this#all sunny characters are sort of meant to be the Worst parts of humanity that you want to Exorcize as glenn puts it#but dennis feels so.#i don't know.#guy who fears loss of power & fights for it not bc he's aiming for the top but bc he is so afraid of being at the bottom ever again#partiarchy and all. you know.#his privilege (primarily in terms of wealth but also his gender) has been just as much of a curse as it has become a weapon#his parents' neglect & their wealth allowing them to throw money at maids lead to him being taken advantage of by an older woman at school#the view of the abuse and it being recontextualized and forced into a positive that shaped the rest of his life because men can't be raped#but i can't explain the. Thing behind this that feels so#pardon the binary#womancoded.#he's like a love interest in a pulpy romance novel written#and i think its partially because he tries to emulate that and its why he is somewhat successful with women#but i don't think it's because he's catering to them i think he's just. oddly a character that comes across like Women Writing Men#i will Not be commenting on what this says about glenn--#cw csa mention#i cant believe i deleted a post and then wrote a rant in the tags about the deleted post this is my curse#the other one was worded better too 👍
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):
#there's all this talk in the show about the power he had over people but none about the women who had power over him#note im not saying that it excuses his shit either im just saying the eshow never really holds the women accountable#as a woman that annoys me#esp as one with a mom who has often made me feel worthless#i also found the writers to get way too insecure in s5 about how people viewed their main character that they felt the need to double down#give mc a sympathic backstory and will feel bad for him what were they expecting?#heck i felt kinda bad for beatrice and i dont hate her but her dad sucked you cant help but pity her esp as an old lady#angela diaz#scary women#she was so damn convincing#for a show about accountabiity its justall on one mans shoulder and it just doesnt feel like it was that fair shrugs#dont believe me?#ana his publist sexually assaults BJ#this is ignored and brushed off as if it never happened#beatrice his biggest abuser next to his father is given the sad old lady treatment that he acutally ends up being kind too#diane fucks pb who is with pickles and is mostly absolved of any wrong doing on her end#pc agrees to work with vance gets bj to a doc that gives him the opiums and does nothing to stop him from hurting gina#angela is gay the whole time and still fires herb then berates and offers a man who is mentally unstable more alchhol#it also felt tacked on in ep 10 of s5 to me like it came of super insecure#oh he def did shitty sshit that is unforgiveable but it felt like they were just throwing a bunc of random x//a/s to double down
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most of the fandom debates about who is responsible for what in Star Wars would be solved if folks remembered that the characters are not real and their choices were made by real life people with on-screen time constraints and deadlines
#which is not to say there isn’t a value in asking questions and engaging with characters in the text; far from it#but every time there is an argument that is like ‘well why didn’t yoda spend 30 minutes explaining therapy to anakin’#I’m just like. because it’s a movie. because that’s not how a screenplay works. because George is not a good writer.#an attempt was made. not a good one. but an attempt.#like we don’t have to like yoda’s response but I can confidently tell you there is no world in which the narrative momentum stopped and yoda#leads anakin through a CBT session. y’all.#fandom wank.#i’m aware this is Nothing but this one specific thing is annoying to me sometimes lmfaooo sorry#walkie talkie.#don’t even get me started on the arguments that the Jedi suck for letting palpatine be alone with anakin lmfaooo THEIR WORLD IS NOT OURS#WHERE EVERY DAY IS ANOTHER DAMN DISCOVERY of politicians doing freak shit. in character we know if they had any reason to believe palps was#Like That they would not let anyone near him#also. ALSO. using comics to justify shit that happens in the movies can sometiems work on a character level but we gotta be aware that we ha#have different writers with different points of view who are working RETROACTIVELY to make things fit and fill out undefined timelines#idk where I’m going with this but. tldr. I don’t know what we gain by going in circles about the same topic in an unuseful way#no shade to my mutuals btw. I’m just. I don’t get it.
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Also have realized that we may have worded things oddly to exaggerate the amount of the Wasp Kingdom that is actually in active conflict but in our defence the power structures we currently have there have it so that whenever there aren't things to fight something like 40-80% of the Wasp Kingdom military gets re-allocated to Basically Whatever The Wasp Kingdom Needs At That Moment since they're, like, the Designated Supply Of Able-Bodied Wasps That The Queen Uses To Do Shit.
Marble is also banned from the non-combat parts of that setup, btw. Their particular tendency towards volatile-yet-effective is not something that ANYONE wants designing things that will be used in day-to-day civilian things just Around The Wasp Kingdom because generally you don't want your heavy-use architecture to Fucking Explode if you don't read and religiously adhere to the 120-page manual.
#we speak#marble#ocs#the wasp kingdom's hive tends to get significantly damaged or destroyed a few times a decade thanks to. The Deadland Border Thing#and when that happens instead of shrinking their military they just start making their footsoldiers learn construction instead#pretty much everyone has to be at least competent in combat because if they Aren't then people Fucking Die#for related reasons they tend to have surprisingly decent attitudes about shit like disability#because injury in the field is something that around 60-70% of wasps will experience in their lifetimes#and that's a VERY LARGE part of the population that they Really can't just leave out of work or anything#because they need all the damn hands that they can get most of the time#which results in things like WMS having a truly ridiculous number of variant signs for amputees or people with limited range of motion#its uhh. plus side: wasp kingdom is insanely ahead in disability accommodations and such compared to Everyone Else#minus side: it's because any member of the wasp kingdom is fully expected to become disabled in some way during their lifetime#plus side: they will accept anything and everything into the kingdom up to and including parasites and criminals#minus side: it's because they live in one of the single most deadly inhabited areas in bugaria and you will be drafted into the military#also there are Quite A Few Things that make socialization cross-kingdom Difficult#and if youre a mimic fly coming in especially you Really have no indication as to what is friendly and what is Not#and you Know when youre being mocked but youre also not gonna be capable of viewing Friendly Interaction as Nonhostile#because everyone here grew up getting at least mild battle training more or less from splitting the cocoon and expects you to play rough#and you are a fly that is not going to interpret someone biting and shaking you in a non-aggressive manner#even if it's a deliberate play-shake that doesnt actually Hurt or break shell#worldbuilding#they only actually need the kaiju squad like once or twice a year but uhh. yknow. The Beasts
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i once accidentally dated someone for a few months. its very difficult to explain how this happened, but the gist is that i thought we were hanging out, and she thought we were on dates, and it was just a very painfully highschool thing.
she was a little bit confused that i hadnt tried to pull any moves, at all, even a little. like, didnt even try holding hands because, and i cannot emphasize this enough, i did not know we were dating.
so, halloween rolled around, and she thought, you know, why wait for destiny, when you can grab it? so she hit me with a clue by four.
babylon, she said. babylon. my mom's gonna be out of town on halloween, and im gonna have the house to myself, and it's going to be kind of lonely. would you like to come to my house and watch scary movies with me?
you know, kind of a netflix and chill thing. except, and i cannot emphasize this enough, i did not know we were dating. also autism. so i took it at face value and said: oh! yeah! thatd be fun! and she thought she got her point across, but she didnt and it was a mess.
skip forward to halloween: my family has a block party every year, right? and at that point i was too old to really trick or treat, but we still wore costumes for our role in the block party, which in my case, was handing out cotton candy. so i took the first shift, and my costume was this homemade abomination minion thing. i had full yellow body paint, and goggles, and a bald cap, and overalls. the kids who saw it were like, uh, hm. overly realistic minion. and adults were like, oh, some kind of hills have eyes hillbilly with jaundice. very scary.
(it was not my best costume.)
my little brother swapped me out for second shift, and i was getting ready to change out to head to her house when i was like: no, she'll get a real kick out of this. this is one of the worst things i have ever worn. so i kept it on and just brought a change of clothes thinking i could shower real quick and change at her place after she saw my nightmare getup.
so i left after that, got there, knocked on her door, and she said come on in. so i went in, and there was this very long hall with an abrupt right turn into her living room where the tv was, and i went down the hall, and i made the turn, and my field of view went from beige drywal to her, on the couch, naked. naked in the paint me like one of your french girls pose. super naked.
i panicked. this was my first time seeing a real person like, full on sex naked,which is a totally different beast from other kinds of naked. you see one kind of naked and you think yeah, im ready for all the kinds of naked, but you arent. i wasnt at least. i really wasn't.
so my brain crashed to BIOS. she also crashed to BIOS, but for different reasons. of all the ways this could have turned me, having me show up in yellow body paint and overalls was pretty pretty low down the list.
so we sat there a while, and you know, she wasn't getting any less naked, which really wasn't helping me get my brain sorted out. it really wasnt much of a surprise when she got her bearings first and started asking questions.
"babylon," she said. "babylon. what are you wearing?"
and i was like, kind of rebooted, but i was nowhere near full functionality, so symbolic language wasnt loaded in yet. i had nothing running but my trusty autism.exe, so i said
"overalls"
and she looked at me like i was the dumbest person in the entire world, and i looked at her like she was the first naked person i had seen in real life who got naked specifically for me, and my upper level cognitive process went: "listen man, we are not going to get our shit together as long as 80% of your brain power is devoted to not blinking. you gotta get out of here."
and if id communicated that, maybe things would have been less of a mess, but instead i just kind of turned around and walked back to my car. i figured i could drive a few loops around the block, get my brain in order, and figure out what the hell we were gonna do.
the only thing i had said to her since arriving was, again, overalls.
first loop around, i was like: oh god fucking damnit. oh shit. oh shit. shes gonna get like, an eating disorder from this. oh no.
second loop around i was like: oh NOOOOO oh WHAT THE FUCK oh SWEET JESUS PLEASE. i dont wanna go back man. i just wanna bury this and forget about it. please. please. let this bitter cup pass from my lips.
and after my third loop, i went and i knocked on her door again.
she answered it this time, and i counted my lucky stars that she'd changed into some pajamas. she was all teary eyed which was the saddest thing ever, and we sat down in her kitchen and talked. it was pretty bad - i figured out we'd been dating, and she figured out that trying to jump from home plate to 3rd base is considered ballsy in baseball, least of all dating. no real winners there. and i can remember after all that, we sat there a bit a bit longer, just steadying ourselves, and i was like "well, im actually really glad we figured that out. guess i'll see you at school tomorow' and she said "WAIT. wait."
"lets watch shrek 2."
so we did and it was horrible. we did not look at each other. we did not say a word. we just sat in stony silence, while shrek 2 played in the background, and when it was done we shook hands. i think we might have been able to salvage that as a friendship if it hadnt been for shrek. as it was she turned white as a sheet and ran away every time she even got a glimpse of me at school, and that summer she moved to a new state to live with her dad. all her friends said she moved just so she wouldn't have to go to school with me anymore, and i dont actually think they were lying.
every time i hear relationship counselors talk about how important communication is, and i'm tempted to roll my eyes, i look back and go, alright. alright. theres probably some poor bastard, somewhere in the world, who doesnt even know that hes married.
and god help him when he figures it out.
other bad dating story here.
#funny stories#dating#dating fiascos#minions#the minion incident#anecdotes#fuck shrek#and fuck shrek 2#like its the best in the shrek series but that movie is basically my trigger now
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Synopsis. No Nút November finally came, and so did he!
Pairings. [SEPARATE] Gojo x Reader, Sukuna x Reader, Choso x Reader, Geto x Reader, Nanami x Reader, Toji x Reader
Content. MDNI, fem! reader, losing NNN, PÚSSYDRUNK BOYS, bréeding, creampíes, cúmming in his pants, oraI (fem receiving), cúmplay, spítting, húmping, making Geto WHIMPER, exhibítionism (Geto), jealousy (Gojo), GOJO’S POWERS, innap. use of jujutsu, true form Sukuna, dp, p slapping, pet names, swéaring.
Word count. 5.9k
A/N. Y’all have no idea how I’ve been waiting to write this since FEBRUARY.
♡ TOJI FUSHIGURO - 8th Nov. 7:48PM
“S’stupid, so stupid-” Toji’s spitting, teeth grit so hard that he thinks he could taste the tang of metal. With a roughened grunt, his big palms smear open your sopping lips, “Such a stupid challenge, n’ a stupid month ah-”
And oh how Toji wishes he could reel back the babbles spilling from his ravaged lips. How he wishes his rumbling baritone didn’t shake ever-so-slightly near the end.
Because Toji Fushiguro was going crazy - and it was all your fault.
“Deprivin’ me of her-” Every single shred of his needy frustration from the past eight days bleeds into each gush of his furiously weepy cock. Fingers curling around the hilt to smack! smack! smack! his round, pinkish tip on your soppingly wet lips. “-ya know how hngh- crazy it drove me?”
One strong arm of his flexes mouth-wateringly tight around your squirming body, massaging your perfectly arched spine closer into his rock-hard abs. A full nelson. His favorite. One he’s missed for- “Over a week. Ohh- over a week n’ m’still not gonna lose.”
He already knew that was a lie.
Because just a single, sunken inch is enough to stretch your sloppy entrance so gapingly open, enough to have you keening for air.
To have him let his jaw fall slack with a hoarse drag of your name, drunken head falling back into the silken sheets when your gooey cunt swallows more and more of his hefty girth. So heavy and sweltering hot inside your clingy walls.
The first time in so long and it felt too good.
Your trembly fingers clutch Toji’s sweat-dampened locks. He growls with a rough pull of your hands, fat, readied balls giving such a painful squeeze at the simple gesture. Hiccuping a feverish puff of condensation by your ear, “What, ma? T-torturin’ me for eight days isn’t enough?”
“Not that–” you’re whining, batting away big bulbous tears of stimulation in your eyes. “Jus’ need you so bad.”
Fuck, that has every drop of blood in his body pumping right to his maddeningly hard dick, staggering size growing twofold.
You feel his velvety shaft kiss deeply into the bullseye of your g-spot, swollen length making your elastic walls constrict around him. Shit, all it’d taken was eight days to almost forget how jaw-droppingly big Toji was. How he was rutting up in mindless, squelching wet gyrations up into your dripping cunt.
“Shoulda thought of that before ya were holdin’ out on me.”
And Toji’s utterly seething, pressurizing his riotous hips with enough of his almost-inhuman strength that he’s fucking you like he hates you. Every one of his words are dripping in a scolding tone, pumping up harshly with sudden jabs into your snug pussy. Deeper and deeper and oh-
He can’t help but leer his glassy eyes over down at the heavenly view, splaying his beefy forearms underneath your quivering legs to stretch you out shamelessly.
“Did ya kn-know this was ah- gonna happen?” he gruffs, already feeling a slight trickle of drool down the side of his scar. “That this stupid fuckin’ challenge was gonna drive me mad? M’still not- not gonna ah- cum-”
Fuck.
But even Toji didn’t know at this point.
“Shit-” Your body bows in an even sluttier way, hips swiveling in slow, sultry grinds to guide the very end of his weepy cock into kissing your most sensitive spots. Drawing wet, translucent glides of steaming hot precum down your insides. “W-wasn’t on purpose, Toji I s-swear- s’a chall-”
“Challenge my ass.” he’s rolling his eyes, and you feel his lips graze across yours in a messy excuse of a kiss. Dark brows furrows, a low ah! ah! ah! leaving his mouth with every slurping plunge. “My only ch-challenge right ah- fuckin’ now s’to get you to cum–”
You shake your bleary head, fingers dipping to his wrist. “No– wan’ you to cum first-”
Earning you a sweet, simpering smack! right alongside the peak of your throbbing clit, he’s smoothing over the sting with methodical massages of his rude fingers. “Move that damn hand.”
Leaving you gasping when he shotguns his painfully hard cock at such an angle to mash ruthlessly into your g-spot, your cervix. Punishing, bruising spearheads to remind you. “A challenge and m’gonna t-treat it like one. Cum.”
But oh, if Toji Fushiguro thought that he was running on merely the fumes of his sanity before then he wasn’t ready for you to finally reach your orgasm.
Milking his cock in only a few more shuddering jams before you’re crashing headfirst into a sudden wave of your high, tightly stuffed pussy gushing out in honeyed gushes. It glistens down into his drenched tufts of black, squirting all over his rippling abs to shine an almost-creamy sheen.
His dewy eyes widen - you squirted. You squirted.
And in response all Toji can do is bite down into the tender crook of your neck. Bite and bite until he was cumming.
Whimpering out a broken tone into your skin, his sharp canines dig even more animalistically. Dangerously pulsing cock snapping upwards in a sudden surge that has his rummagingly fat tip bumping into your womb, a thorough thrust before dumping out thick, voluminous spurts of his cum.
“F-fuck–” he’s breathing out unsteadily, sculpted chest heaving for breath. Eyes still scrunched firmly shut no matter how much he wanted to see that prettily fucked-out expression on your face, because ever slight squeeze of your cozy walls had him twitching out another ribbon of cum. “Oh god- shit, ma- this pussy- gonna be- hngh- death-”
Easily overstimulating Toji until he could feel embarrassing tears prick behind his lids, cumming after what felt like so long and now he didn’t want to stop. Couldn’t stop.
Instead swirling a ravenous thumb down the edges of your leaking slit, pooling the creamy dredges of his seed that’d formed a little ring around his thick base.
Without warning he’s shoving every single pearlescent bead back into your already overspilling pussy.
“Heh, whatever-” he tuts, sliding his tongue down those syrupy splatters of your slick - glossing all the way up to his scar. “Now that I’ve already lost this stupid challenge, jus’ stop yer whinin’ and ride me proper, doll.”
♡ NANAMI KENTO - 21st Nov. 5:31PM
Nanami Kento was not going to lose to your little challenge.
He was not going to let down his gorgeous wife.
He was not going to-
“Fuck.” Nanami heaves, he gasps for air. “Fuck.”
Thick fingers curl even tighter around his fat hilt, squeezing within an inch of himself. He’s hissing at the way that makes his angrily red tip blush even deeper, beading down glistening beads of precum that drip! drip! drip! right onto your pretty face.
“Tha’s it-” he’s huffing out, darkened eyes drooping into a sultry half-lid. Muscled thighs spreading further, he sears a firm five-fingered grip onto your hair. Cool wedding ring brushing over your scalp, “K-keep that gorgeous face still f’me, my love.”
But oh, despite that sweet, sweet pet name his tone drips with such sheerly primal need. Hoarse towards the end with something dangerous.
It was only a brief mention of this month that ended up with you two this - just a tiny joke of a special reward at the end that had Nanami clenching his teeth and his sanity to keep from cumming this entire month.
And he’d only made it so far.
All it took was a single pissed off work meeting, a single complaint from a client, one bad day at work for him to slam your shared apartment door open. Striding his way towards you darkly before spitting to you - his beautiful wife - “on your knees.”
Not even to have your pretty mouth on him- no, Nanami’s blond brows furrow deeper, sweat sheening a thin layer on his forehead when his greedy palms just drag down his drooling length. Over and over.
“Ken-”
“Shit.” His fat, rotund head twitches at the mere sound of your honeyed voice, his favorite song. Gushing out a steady stream of glossing precum against the side of your lips, and Nanami just hunches. “Shhh, darling you’re gonna have me-”
“I want you to, Ken.” you’re batting your lashes up at him in a way that makes him gasp, admiring all the dips and curves of his sculpted body. “Please?”
He pants out such a shuddering breath that you feel fan your face, stern lips falling further and further slack with every sodden clench of his balls. Every swirl of the soft pad of his thumb around the bawling pinkish divot of his tip.
“Take it.” Reward be damned. He was nothing against you. His metallic wristwatch flashes with every hurried pump up and down up and down up and- “T-take it all f’me, my wife.”
And oh then he’s cumming - head thrown back, toned abs rippling, face burning red when he’s moaning your name like a mantra. Over and over again into the heady living room air because Nanami hadn’t even made it as far as the bedroom before giving into that dark urge to paint your pretty features white with himself.
Spazzing tip weeping out thick dredge after dredge of his seed that sticks to you like a sloppy second skin. Drooling down the side of your mouth, and he’s guiding his fat cock to gloss over your lips. Pretty.
“My love- get up-” he’s hissing through clenched teeth. And before those syrupy slurring words can even register in your mind, Nanami’s swiftly looping two strong arms around your waist. Dragging you upwards like some glorified ragdoll. “Need- hahhh– I need-”
Immediately, you’re being carried to splay all out on the plushy sofa nearby, Nanami hovering over you with kiss after messy kiss. Tasting himself, tasting you.
“Have no idea how much- hngh–” Shit, he can’t even speak right now, words breaking into the most whiny groans you’ve ever heard pulled from the man. “How much I missed-” And with a particularly loud squelch! he’s reeling back just enough from the filthy kiss. Drunken grin leering across his face at the dripping gleam all over the lower half of your face, delicate strings of spit and cum still connecting you to him. “-this.”
You’re blinking away the haze, pressing pecks into sight dimple at the corner of his mouth. “M-missed this, too- Hah, don’t even care about that ch-challenge.”
Gliding an open palm down your curved spine, he grins. “Exactly what I like to hear.”
And then you feel like you’re being split open apart so widely that it feels like Nanami’s reaching into your very lungs, swiping the milky tip of his still-hard cock against those hidden-away sensitive spots of yours. He’s prying open your snug cunt with steady, slow spearheads, barely even tugging away his work tie before folding you into such a thorough mating press.
“I remember–” he’s dancing a thumb across your sodden lips, glossing it over in the most obscene opaque coating of cum you’d never even imagine. Popping it into his mouth. Sucking. “-something about a reward.”
He’s smearing his left hand down your throbbing clit - purposefully, to chuckle at the way you whine and puff about the cool sting of his golden wedding band. But more importantly, Nanami’s other hand draws down an invisible line about halfway down your stomach.
Fuck.
Exactly where he could feel his leaky cock bludgeon solid, circular bruises into your spongy cervix. Bouncing back at the recoil, exactly where he knew that little nudge was, dragging his pulsing cock to massage your cunt, your womb-
You suck in a shuddered inhale, “Wh-what about the reward?”
“Well, since there’s no ngh- u-use in the challenge anymore…” His long fingers press down hard. And oh the way the realization dawns on your face makes you look so beautiful underneath him - his beautiful wife. But Nanami can’t help but think how much more of a beautiful momma you’d be. How perfect. Unable to tear his eyes away from the slow dribble of cum down your lips. “How about a reward for both of us, my love? Two or three rewards?”
♡ GETO SUGURU - 11th Nov. 3:33AM
“S-Sugu-”
“...”
“Sugu-”
“Shhh–” Your leader’s silky smooth voice thrums at your throat, pressing an unapologetic trail of kisses down the tender skin. And you jolt at the sharp nip of his canines, “We’re trying to have a hah- meeting here, honey.”
But it was anything but that.
Fed up with your little challenge, Geto had all but demanded you sit with him through your next cult meeting. Plopping you down all prettily on his manspread lap as soon as the rest of your members filed in, acting for all the world like he wasn’t just taking filthy advantage of that short skirt he’d insisted you wear.
Stuffed staggeringly deeply inside.
Your saturated pussy lips bulge around his fat length, swirling his swollen cock around your walls with even the tiniest jostles. Firmly and readily cockwarming him for hours now.
And both of you were nearing your limits - especially Geto, but, of course, he couldn’t let you know that yet.
“Something wrong?” he’s lilting his baritone voice in volume, just enough for the surrounding members to catch interest in. Deliberate. One massive palm gripping a handful of your hips, “Seems like you’re having oh- difficulty gettin’ comfortable, gorgeous?”
Muscular thighs bouncing up and down in a relentless little cadence that had you gripping onto his decadent robes for balance. Tiny, rummaging thrusts of his sloppy length pierce your snug insides. Ridges upon ridges of his prominent veins massaging every single sweet spot he could reach - all of them.
They had him coaching those gruff grunts to the very back of his throat, fists curling on the table to prevent himself from simply slamming you down until you were stupid on his thick cock.
Babbling out in a desperate tone, “Suguru I can’t-”
Oh? He grits his teeth at the clingy squeeze of your velvety walls around his rotund tip, the way your ass jiggles at every slight gyration. So filthy. Raising one dark brow, Geto flicks a finger at the rest of the meeting to carry on. “Can’t even handle a lil’ cockwarming, hm? What h-happened to my stubborn girl from before? And her no-nut-Nov-”
“Stop teasing!” you’re mewling out with a pretty pout that makes him twitch inside. “Jus’ want you t-to cum–” d-don’t care that i-it’s November anymore-”
His rock-hard cock throb throb throbs inside your melty walls, bumping every oozing wave of precum into the very bottom of your pussy. And you could hear mutters spurting from every corner of the room now.
They knew. They always did.
“Oh so now, you don’t care?” Geto snickers, leaning back in his velvety chair to seep a bit more power behind his swiveling hips. “D-didn’t hngh- seem so greedy for my cock when ya made me p-promise not to cum for a month.”
As if to prove his point - and disprove yours - Geto’s hand comes slamming! down onto the vast mahogany table, grin wide. Dangerous. A primal rasp resounding at the back of his throat when he’d punishing your poor pussy with his first thorough thrust yet.
One. Two. Three.
“P-please!”
“P-p-please, what?” he’s mocking, dramatics of your own whiny tone.
“Please, Sugu–” You’ve definitely attracted the attention of every other person in this meeting room right now. But Geto couldn’t give a fuck. Not when those words fall from your syrupy sweet lips, “-m’s-sorry jus’ fuck-”
SLAM!
He stands. One hand at your neck, the other at your clit.
And as soon as your needy front is hitting the cool table, Geto’s merciless cockhead is diving thoroughly into your sweetened spots. The sudden change in angle letting him barrel his girthy shaft to tuck away at your very womb, all it takes for you to cum.
Eyes rolling to the back of your head, nails clawing at the poor wood, he’s driving his weepy cock in to pound you through every single one of your highs.
Peak after peak that Geto can’t help but get addicted to, and he’s missed this heavenly feeling so much that he can’t help but let his mean mouth hang open. Dark, dewy eyes rolling so far into the back of his head that he’s forced to scrunch them closed.
The table rattles precariously when he’s rutting his hips into you ferally, sharp hip bones smacking aching bruises against the fat of your ass. Pressing you down with his entire body weight when-
“Oh- oh shit, all your f-fault. Fuck-” He half-collapses when he cums. Over and over in thick, stringy wads that gush into your very cervix. Sloshing around with each of his jackhammers, it paints your velvety walls with a dripping white coat. Again. And again. And again and again- “So jus- take it-”
Shit.
Geto almost forgot how unfairly good it felt to have his achy cock milked by your cunt. Mustering up every shred of will to crack an eye open, he could spy the way your soppingly wet slit was overspilling with so much of his seed.
Licking his lips, he’s holding back a whimper.
And, truly, it was almost embarrassing the way that obscene sight was all it took for Geto’s once-softening cock to shoot up another few wispy ribbons of cum all over again.
So much of it that he couldn’t control.
Couldn’t even think of taming the way he was hiking up one powerful thigh onto the table to drive even more forcefully into you. Fingers curling almost painfully tightly around your throat to reel you into a filthy kiss of teeth and tongue.
He has absolutely no shame wrapping his glossy lips around your tongue to suck. And even less at the way that honeyed taste of you is all it takes for him to shoot a well round of sputtering blanks into your pussy.
Chuckling tearily at those downturned, greedy eyes - shit, when did he even start crying? “A-aw look, you’ve interrupted the meeting, gorgeous.”
♡ CHOSO KAMO - 4th Nov. 10:01PM
“F-four days?” Choso’s swallowing a heavy gulp, burning face buried into the crook of your neck. And he can’t stop from heaving in deep inhales, from letting his mouth water. “-s’only been four days, baby?”
That cute, broken quiver in his tone has you tittering out a teasing giggle, something that only has his breath even more shortened. Brows knitting together when his hips just rut-
“Sorry.” your lovely boyfriend’s hiccuping, trembly fingers wrapping even tighter around your body. And he’s trying - scrambling - oh-so-desperately to stray his glassy gaze back onto the movie on-screen. He has to. He needs to or else he’s about to lose his fucking sanity. “Sorry didn’t hngh- didn’t mean to, jus’ ignore-”
But that’s when Choso’s breath hitches, when his large body wrecks with a violent shudder running down his spine. “Are you alright, Cho?”
Because oh, your taunting body was squirming up just right against the hefty girth of his swollen cock. Dragging your ass down the exact line of his sensitive slit in a way that has his hand grasping roughly onto your hips to make you stop-
“M’gonna ah- m’not gonna be able t-to do it, baby–” he’s pleading in a filthy kiss against your lips. Sucking. Begging. “Please- don’t-”
“Don’t what, Cho?”
Shit, that nickname has him hurling his hips forwards with a choked-up grunt. Seeing white-hot pleasure behind his eyes at every one of your smoothly swiveling gyrations, seeing you in all your dripping wet glory when he thumbs your drenched panties just to the side.
“Shit.” he gasps, dewy eyes widening, breath turning feverish at your neck. “Shit shit shit- wh-why are you so-”
And Choso moans, he can’t even finish his sentence right now. Can’t do anything but tug down his too-tight gray sweatpants to glide a steamingly hot smear of precum down your slit.
“So what- oh-” Your taunting mouth only drops further and further open when he’s dragging his achy cock down your cunt like he was addicted. Getting off to the way that your saturatedly wet pussy lips were coating him in a glossy sheen, sucking him up like you wanted-
“Just the tip.”
It’s his little mantra.
Rasped out over and over into your open mouth, panted in every messy kiss of his reddened, fat head against your sloppy hole. Once. Twice. Pretty pecks to French kisses..
“What was that–?” you’re batting your lashes, your hips meeting his messy cadence when his own speeds up. Keening at the sculpted leg being thrown over yours to angle his driving pistons more determinedly - desperately.
With a low whine at the back of his throat, the curved tips of Choso’s fingers find their sultry way down to your clit. And he’s giving you a harsh tug at the very peak before sobbing, “Just want to put it in, baby- jus’ the tip- p-please-”
“Just the tip?”
The movie long-forgotten.
The resounding squelch! squelch! squelch! of skin on sodden skin rings louder in your ears, as do those tiny hitches in Choso’s pants. Words gurgled though those big, bulbous tears rolling down his cheek, “Please- can’t do it anymore. Ngh- wan’ to c-cum- can I cum inside?” Drooping, half-lidded eyes boring right into your bleary ones, “Please?”
And all you can do is nod.
All Choso can do is try not to lose his fucking mind just as soon as the thick circumference of his head is bullying past your swollen folds, feeding you inch after ragingly needy inch of his cock.
All it takes for him to lose - because with the most broken of moans, you’re being stuffed snugly full with the sheer volume of Choso’s cum. With just the tip. And there’s so much of it, it’s like he hasn’t cum for years, sloshing to hit the very back of your womb, slopping around in a way that makes you shiver.
Wrangling to slip out his cock the tiniest inch-
“No!” Choso gasps, eyes blowing wide almost comically. “No no no- wanted- inside- hngh-” His ruddy lower lip wobbles at the slow, sultry dribble of his potent seed down your inner thighs, glossing over his own hands when he’s smearing your sodden pussy lips stretched even wider. “Inside, baby–”
“O-oh my god-” your eyes can just barely crack open when two slender fingers slip into your slick entrance, plugging you staggeringly full as soon as he’s shoving you tight with the rest of his angry cock. Rock-hard length stretching your meshing cunt taut, the very tips of his fingers being jostled to the side of every spongy g-spot in your walls. “Cho- s’too full it won’t- won’t- ah-”
The sheer stimulation was maddening.
And Choso was drunk on your pretty moans.
“Yes it will-” he’s babbling, syrupy saliva being drooled in a streaming wad right onto your lolling tongue. And with his free hand, he’s prying your pretty mouth shut. “Don’t- hngh- don’t sound so cute, baby s’gonna make me- oh-”
But you could already guess.
Because just the slightest note of your voice, the slightest grind of your hips to fuck back into his mindlessly messy cadence had him jolting inside you. Too-sensitive tip twitching out in honeyed ribbons of precum that drip down your walls.
Choso hisses with a sudden thwack! of his hefty balls kissing up against your cunt, gliding a hand underneath your thigh to pound into you languidly. Desperately. “Four days- shit- couldn’t make four days without this c-cute cunt-”
“Baby—” you’re huffing, your half-lucid eyes drifting away to the black screen. “The movie’s over.”
He huffs out a wet bout of laughter into your lips, nipping slightly at the very bottom one. “But I g-guess that doesn’t matter when I ah- already l-lost does it, baby?” Reeling out the sticky digits of his fingers, snapping at those delicate strings of cum and your sweet, sweet juices. He grins. “Because I already have four day t-to make up for-”
♡ RYOMEN SUKUNA - 7th Nov. 8:29PM
Times like this, the king of curses found himself on his knees. Times like this, he wanted to ruin you.
“Awww, don’ be like that, woman-” he’s digging the rough dark claws on two hands onto the small of your back. Inhuman stretch wrenching you down, down, down that never-ending girth of his twin cocks. “Not when I’ve hngh- got you like this-”
But the only answer you’re giving him is another one of your stubborn pouts, brows scrunched together in a way that makes his tips twitch. Eagerly nudging up in a wet kiss against one of those sweet spots Sukuna knew would make you mewl.
Your lower lip wobbles with a whine, “M’ s-still mad at you, Kuna.”
Ah, he’d roll his eyes at your adorable antics but he knew that wouldn’t quite help his case. You’ve been like this ever since you’d joked about that little tradition humans did in November - and he took it seriously.
Too seriously, according to you, perhaps. With the way your devilish boyfriend was still fucking you into the decadent royal mattress - simply leaving you teasingly high and dry the mere moment he felt his orgasm coming.
And now, the very actions had him groaning. Powerfully muscled hips staggering upwards to bob you slowly on his cocks, rearing his fat tips against your cervix, your g-spot, your cervix, your g-spot, your- “What more do you ngh, want, brat?”
It’s asked with a sudden sopping swat planted on your beading cunt, and Sukuna’s taking the opportunity to let his other tongue take over. A slow, lewd drag of those massive tastebuds down your throbbing clit.
“I-I don’t ngh-” you’re moaning, and he already knows he’s winning. By the way your melty walls are cozying up even hotter around his thick cocks, your eyes rolling to the back of your head. “-don’t know-”
“Awww–” The third of Sukuna’s big, beefy arms just can’t help but thread through one of your own, bringing it right up to his lips to leave a saccharine sweet kiss on the back of your hand. “My woman- my love-” One. Then another. And Another. “My queen, tell me what you want.”
Your tone cracks into a saturated whine when he ambushes a particularly sensitive part of your g-spot, drawing a wet glisten of precum down the side of your walls. Swelteringly hot. “W-want more-” Your trembly arms snake around his broad shoulders, digging into the smooth muscle. “-wan’ more, Kuna- hah- please-”
And who was Ryomen Sukuna to ever say no to you?
In just a few split-seconds, you’re being dragged right off of his bulging cocks. Throat just barely moving to whimper in disappointment, when Sukuna manhandles you to splay out pliantly on all fours on those silken sheets.
Face buried into the mushy pillows, his cocks buried in your dripping cunt.
“Shit-” he’s shuddering, heavy balls clenching at the newly sodden wave of slick that drools down your slit. And Sukuna can feel himself drool ever-so-slightly, hiding his burning face away in your neck. Thank fuck for doggy. “Is tha’s all you wanted, then–”
And every one of his surging thrusts have you plummeting further and further up the bed, gripping onto the mahogany headboard. He’s swiping down your thrumming clit, kissing a wet trail down your sluttily arched spine.
You sob when his smacking hips turn bruising, your gummy walls stretched to your limits. “Y-you were so mean-”
“Mhm– so mean, baby.”
“M-made me so hngh- mad- never liked that ah- stupid challenge-”
Sukuna’s just snickering, flashes of white-hot pleasure sparking behind his eyes. Every time he’s milking himself on your tight pussy forcing him to hold back his whimpers, his gasps. One large set of his rough digits curling around your throat to haul you off of the bed, your head airy when he’s fucking each and every single thought out of your syrupy mind. “Don’ worry, my ah- spoiled brat. M’gonna fill up this oh fuuuck- cute cunt n’ there nothin’ you n’ any stupid challenge can do about it.”
Both of his rock-hard cocks were so messy, dragging out the sloppiest of slurps when he’s rummaging around your velvety insides. Spurts of wispy white precum staining down your sodden walls, making you gasp.
“M’so close-” You’re arched into the perfect bow for Sukuna to drag his lips down yours in a filthy kiss, humming darkly. “Gonna ah-”
Your pretty cunt has Sukuna chuckling, babbling out drunkenly. “So cum then- hah- why dontcha cum. Cum all over my cocks-” And he wants it. Needs it now, and shit- he’s never participating in this puny human custom ever again. Lazing out his second tongue to squelch an unapologetic pathway to your clit. Rolling. Sucking. “-go on then, woman. Show off f’me.”
And each one of his words were trembling with sheer desperation, cracking, even when you’re finally reaching your peak. Pound after pound. Every flick of his monstrous tongue drags you through your high, letting your toes curl.
With a sudden, hefty shudder, his cum-filled balls clench - and Sukuna’s finally cumming. Harder than he has in all his thousands of years. Harder than he ever thinks he could.
You’re simply at the mercy of both weepy ends of his cocks when they burst out thick streams of his seed, reverberating the most filthiest of sounds that make your ears buzz. Doubly. And his balls smacking against your ass grow drippingly wetter, your poor pussy overspilling each of his steamingly hot ribbons of cum.
“Fuck-” Sukuna sucks in a sharp breath, tears crinkling at the very ends of his eyes from how heavenly it felt having his stringy seed slosh against and between his jostling lengths. His hand feels for that inflationary bump where you’d been stuffed full, purring. “Did you take your pill?”
You blink, “N-no?”
“Good. Because m’suddenly wanting for an h-heir this Christmas.”
♡ GOJO SATORU - 1st Nov. 12:17AM
Shit, he’s going to lose. Gojo’s musing with whatever’s left of his syrupy mind - or wait, was it even November, yet?
Ah, he can’t even remember. Can’t even think to do anything but piston the very cockhead of his needy length between your puffed-up pussy lips. Spreading apart your folds with an easy, glistening swipe. And he’s so half-lucid that Gojo giggles at the way your ready cunt is taking him in so well.
“You’re mine-” Gojo’s panting out a feverish breath. Kissing your sopping wet cervix easily with each furious thrust, he’s spitting out a wet drawl of profanity into your lips. “M-mine, y’know that?”
“Toru–” Fuck, your cracking whine has Gojo’s glassy eyes veering into the back of his head. Murmuring out a vibrating groan. “S’jus’ hah- what’s gotten into you-”
And the strongest could babble about how seeing that newly appointed teacher at Jujutsu Tech churned his gears. He could tell you about how easy it is to conjure up a hollow purple when some bastard is making eyes at his wife.
Especially in November of all days, when he’d finally said he was going to make it through the whole month. He has to.
But, no.
Instead, he’s crackling the very soft tips of his fingers with jujutsu. Pinching your clit ever-so-slightly–
“Fuck!” Your spine’s arching into such a delicious bow that has his mouth watering. His thoroughly sunken cock bursts out in a few dangerously wispy waves of precum that make him shutter a gasp. “U-using jujutsu’s not ngh- fair-”
“Fair?” he hiccups, nosing down the side of your neck. “Not fair is how hah- good this pretty pussy of yours f-feel, sweetheart.” And he’s rutting into you so sloppily, massaging down your elastic walls with each of his prominent veins. Over and over Gojo can feel himself losing his mind- “Shit- I think I-I’m the one that-”
You can’t even react.
Because in a split-second, Gojo’s splayed out all the way near the foot of the bed. Teleported.
Strong hands jostling your legs spread even further open, drool dripping down the side of his mouth when he just drinks in your essence, feverishly hot breath hovering over your quivering cunt. And that pathetic mewl barely out of your lips before-
“A-at least I can’t lose the ch-challenge way, heh-” Gojo’s lips move sultry and slow over your already thrumming clit, wrapping around so prettily to suck on the saturated beads of slick.
You can only keen, you can only thread your shaky fingers through his snow locks. Giving a harsh tug that does absolutely nothing to deter his messy make out with your cunt - if anything, your husband’s surging his face even deeper into his favorite heaven between your thighs.
Nose meshing against the very tip top of your presoaked slit, dragging in a wet glide with every languid roll of his tongue into your sloppy entrance. Jaw grinding deeper and deeper-
He’s simpering out such a fucked-out smile on your pussy, long pinkish tongue lolling out to smear open your swollen folds. And all you can do is watch and watch as he’s slurping up syrupy stripes, slender fingers dancing their way dangerously up, up, up-
“Ah!” Your entire body wracks with a sudden surge of electricity - coming from the slender digits currently bullying their way into your slippery entrance. Gushing a thumb over your clit- “Toru what did I tell you about-”
“Ah, the jujutsu?” Gojo leans his head deliriously against part of your inner thigh, leaving a wet trail of bites. Hips mindlessly grinding down pathetically onto the plush mattress. Fuck.
And he looked so pretty like this - gaze drooping so close-lidded that they were almost shut, blue eyes half-glowing, mouth all glossed over with a dripping wave of your sweet, sweet juices. With this, you’re gifted with another swat of his thumb over your sodden clit, slurring, “Can’t r-remember a thing–”
And then you’re cumming.
Toes curling, your hips jerking upwards into his ready hold, fisting painfully at Gojo’s hair. If it hurt then he didn’t show it. Anything but. Because he’s hiking his legs up into a seated position, your trembly thighs splayed out shamelessly on the muscles of his broad shoulders.
Dragging and dragging you through your high with drippingly wet sucks on your clit, those drawing squelches ring in your ears and make you gasp. It was so filthy.
But not as filthy as the way that Gojo’s head drops backwards with a wet whimper, his eyes firmly scrunched shut. “O-oh sweetheart I-” Bedroom lights flickering.
And then nothing more is said as he just rips down the rest of his overpriced trousers until they were nothing but tatters hanging haphazardly around his slender waist.
Jittery fingers immediately taking hold of his cock - his furiously cumming cock. From just eating out his girl.
So reddish and weepy at the very thick tip of his, streaming out thick ribbon after ribbon of his seed that coats his fist a glossy white. You could see the way his hefty balls clenched, how his girthy shaft was twitching ferally in his fingers.
He bares you with his drunken gaze, lightning bolting at the ends of his eyes. Kiss electric. Sucking on your tongue over and over - before shoving two of his dripping wet digits between your pretty lips.
“There we- hngh- go don’t give a fuck about November-” You flinch when he smacks! his cock along your overworked clit. Circling the very edge of your entrance with his fat, sobbing tip.
Coated such a creamy ring with his cum. His.
Prattling, “Th-this is what my girl s’pposed to hah- look like. My girl.” And as soon as he sinks in just the barest of his bulbous head - the lights go out, in all of Tokyo. Soon, in all of Japan. “Heheh, doesn’t c-count that I lost no nut November if I can’t hngh- see it, right?”
A/N. Hope y’all have a lovely lovely NNN *evil laughs*
Plagiarism not authorized.
#jjk x reader#jjk smut#jjk x you#gojo x reader#geto x reader#sukuna x reader#nanami x reader#gojo smut#geto smut#sukuna smut#nanami smut#tonywrites#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#choso x reader#choso smut#toji x reader#toji smut#jjk x reader smut#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader smut#gojo x reader smut#toji x reader smut#satoru gojo x reader#toji fushiguro smut#nanami x reader smut#choso x reader smut#geto x reader smut
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my tags on that went on for so long i had to go back and edit them to fit tag limit and i still had to delete a bunch of them. Its the autism it literally is
#funerary practices and the afterlife and body disposal methods and just. grief and mourning in general r like. My bigggg autism thing i dont#talk abt it a lot bc 1 i just Dont shut up once i get going 2 a lot of ppl dont want to hear abt stuff like that which is fine. kicked pupp#expression. i just find it very very interesting to see how different ppl grieve and whats considered like. Right and wrong when it comes t#care of the body yk. bc like. most/every culture has their practices and anything outside of that feels wrong to them bc its like. yk its s#pivotal idr the exact anecdote/story but caitlin doughty mentioned it in one of her books where like. there were 2 groups and one cremated#their dead and the other practiced mortuary cannibalism and both viewed the other as barbaric and it rly shaped how i view it like. yk. its#rly something so personal where even when the way someone grieves makes you uncomfortable its like. you cant force someone to grieve in a#way thats palatable to you. yk. for a rly long time washing the body and being with the body after death was a rly important part of grief#in like. usamerican culture its only more recently that it became wayyy less common w the rise of funeral homes and stuff. and obv for many#ppl that wouldnt be comforting but i think it could be for a lot of ppl..#my personal belief on it is everyone should be allowed to grieve and dispose of the dead As they want and that should be like. yk. theres#the nebulous term of Desecration which is legally rly difficult to define there r a lot of states where the law is 'if it would outrage#normal family values' which is just so fucking stupid obviously like. whos family. bc every single person has a different view on whats#appropriate yk... IDK. i think as long as its relatively safe for the living and as long as its not like. Against the wishes of the decease#like. if someone says they want a burial and then theyre cremated (not out of necessity like 4 financial stuff) im like. yk. obv theyre dea#but i think its important to honor their last wishes... yk. and that should go for like. If someone wants an open pyre cremation that shoul#be available... if someone wants aquamation etc. IDK. etc. like. another thing is with embalming while i wish it werent De Facto ppl r#railroaded into it i entirely disagree w ppl who say it should be wiped out entirely like. there r environmental ramifications 4 sure and i#love for that to be more like. talked abt... but embalming is rly important to a lot of ppl and idt its right to shit all over that. idt it#necessary for every death i personally dont see the point of embalming for like. a peaceful death with a quick funeral and theyre getting#cremated after. but ik like. for a lot of black families embalming is very important for like. a reclamation esp in violent or traumatic#deaths its very important to have like. a funeral with a viewing. and i think thats something that shouldnt be taken away from anyone ever.#even like. ik this is controversial but extreme embalming w/ posing and stuff as long as thats what the decease wanted like. i think its#awesome !! i Dont agree w taking the corpses of the poor or disenfranchised to prop up for art pieces Personally but like. there r ppl who#want to be displayed like that like. riding their motorcycle one last time or ummm. that posthumous concert that happened. i get how it can#seem morbid or wtvr but like. the families r happy with that its what those ppl wanted and it like. its a celebration of their life and#their interests and i think thats super important. BASICALLY.#ok tag limits coming so im cutting myself off for sure this time. but wtvr. i hope this makes sense to anybody else sorry i rambled. im ver#passionate abt it KJBADKJBDKJ
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Alligator Body Language and You, or: How To Know When An Alligator On Social Media is Being Stressed for Views
Alligators are wild animals. Despite the idiotic claims of animal abusers like Jay Brewer, they cannot be domesticated, which means they are always going to react on the same natural instincts they've had for millions of years. Habituated, yes. Tamed, yes. Trained, definitely. Crocodilians can form bonds with people- they're social and quite intelligent. They can solve problems, use tools, and they're actually quite playful. Alligators are also really good at communicating how they're feeling, but to somebody who doesn't spend much time around them, their body language can be a bit mystifying. And it doesn't help when social media influencers are saying shit like this:
That is not what a happy gator looks like.
That's a terrified, furious gator who isn't attacking because the ogre handling her has her in a chokehold. She's doing everything she can to express her displeasure, and he's lying about it because he knows his audience doesn't even know how to think critically about what he's doing. He knows that because his audience doesn't know anything about these animals, he can get away with it. This I think is why I hate him so much- he deliberately miseducates his audience. He knows what he's doing is factually inaccurate, he just doesn't care because attention means more to him than anything else in the world.
Let's change that! Here are two really important lessons for understanding alligator body language on social media.
Lesson 1: Alligators Don't Smile (in fact, most animals don't)
So what's going on in this video? Jay Brewer is aggressively choking his white alligator Coconut while scrubbing algae off of her with a toothbrush. And make no mistake, he is digging into the creature's throat while she is visibly distressed. He claims she's happy- but she's not. He is willfully misrepresenting what this animal is feeling. That's a problem, because people... well, we actually kind of suck at reading other species' body language. The reason for this is that we tend to overlay our own responses on their physical cues, and that's a problem. For example, let's look at an animal with a really similar face to ours, the chimpanzee. Check out Ama's toothy grin!
Wait, no. That's not a happy smile. That's a threat display. When a chimpanzee "smiles," it's either terrified and doing a fear grimace, or it's showing you its teeth because it intends on using them in your face.
How about a dog? Look at my smiling, happy puppy!
Oh wait no, this is a picture of Ryder when he was super overwhelmed by noise and people during a holiday party. He'd hopped up in my sister's lap to get away from stuff that was happening on the floor and was panting quite heavily. See the tension in the corners of his mouth and his eyes? A lot of the time when a dog "smiles," the smile isn't happy. It's stress! Why Animals Do The Thing has a nice writeup about that, but the point is, our body language is not the same as other species. And for reptiles, body language is wildly different.
For instance, look at these two alligators. Pretty cute, right? Look at 'em, they're posing for a Christmas card or something! How do you think they're feeling?
Well, I'll tell you how the normal one is feeling. He's annoyed! Why is he annoyed? Because the albino just rolled up, pushed another gator off the platform, and is trying to push this guy, too. I know this because I actually saw it happen. It was pretty funny, not gonna lie. He's not gaping all the way, but he was hissing- you can actually see him getting annoyed in the sequence I took right before this shot. Look at him in this first shot here- he's just relaxing, and you can see he isn't gaping even a little bit.
By the end, he's expressing displeasure, but not enough to actually do anything about it. He's annoyed, but he's comfy and that's where one of the best basking areas is, so he'll put up with it.
Reptiles open their mouths wide for a lot of reasons, but never because they are actively enjoying a sensation. Unless they're eating. No reptile smiles- they can't. They don't even have moveable lips. If a reptile is gaping, it's doing so because:
It is doing a threat display.
It is making certain vocalizations, all of which are threats. Alligators are one of the rare reptiles that do regularly vocalize, but most of their calls aren't made with a wide open mouth.
It is about to bite something delicious or somebody stupid. Check out this video- virtually all of the gaping here is anticipatory because these trained gators know darn well that the bowl is full of delicious snacks. (I have some issues with Florida's Wildest, but the man knows how to train a gator AND he is honest about explaining what they're doing and why, and all of his animals are healthy and well-cared for, and he doesn't put the public or his staff at risk- just himself.)
youtube
It's too hot and it has opened its mouth to vent some of that heat and thermoregulate. This is the main reason why alligators will often have their mouths part of the way open, but sometimes they'll open all the way for thermoregulation. This is what a thermoregulatory gape looks like- usually it's not all the way open, kinda more like < rather than V, but you can't say that 100% of the time. Additionally, a thermoregulatory gape... typically happens when it's hot out. If they're inside, maybe they've been under their basking light for too long. Heat's the dominant factor, is what I'm getting at.
There is another reason that a captive crocodilian might be gaping, and that's because it's doing so on command. Some places have their gators trained to gape on cue, like St. Augustine Alligator Farm and other good zoos. They have the animals do this in presentations that are genuinely educational. They ask the animals to open their mouths so that they can show off their teeth and demonstrate how their tongues seal off the back of their mouth. They'll also do it as part of routine healthcare, because looking at their teeth is important.
In this case, the animals aren't gaping because they're stressed, they're gaping because they know they're gonna get a piece of chicken or fish if they do it. And what's more, they're doing it on cue. They have a specific command or signal that tells them to open wide. It's not an instinctive response to a situation. It's trained. If the animal provides the behavior after a cue, the situation is much less likely to be negatively impactful.
It's also important to remember that there's a difference between a partially open mouth and a gape! As discussed above, alligators will often have their mouths a little bit open just to maintain temperature homeostasis. It helps them stay comfy, temperature-wise. These guys are all doing thermoregulatory open-mouthed behavior- that slight open and relaxed body posture is a dead giveaway. (That and it's the hottest spot in the enclosure.)
Lesson 2: A Happy Gator Is A Chill Gator
So if alligators don't smile or have facial expressions other than the :V that typically signifies distress, how else can you tell how they're feeling? One way is stillness. See, alligators subscribe to the philosophy of if it sucks... hit da bricks.
Basically, if they hate it, they'll leave. Unless, y'know, somebody has their meaty claws digging into their throat or is otherwise restraining them. (Restraint isn't always bad, btw. Sometimes the animal is going through a medical thing or needs to be restrained for their safety- which a responsible educator will explain.)
Let's look at a very similar scenario, in which a captive alligator is getting his back scrubbed.
As you can see, it's quite different. First, he's not being restrained at all. Second, look at how relaxed he is! He's just chilling there vibing! He could simply get up and leave if he wanted to, because he's not being held. Towards the end of the video, as he lifts his head, you can see that his respiratory rate is very even as his throat flutters a bit. I'm not sure what this facility is, so I can't comment on care/general ethics, but like. In this specific case, this is an alligator enjoying being scrubbed! And you can tell because he's not doing anything. A happy gator is content to be doing what they're doing.
Why Should I Listen To You?
Now, you should ask yourself, why should you listen to me? Why should you trust me, who does not own an alligator, versus Jay Brewer, who owns several?
Well, first off, there's no profit for me in telling you that what you're seeing on social media is in fact not what you're being told you're seeing. I'm not getting paid to do this. That's the thing with people who make social media content. The big names aren't doing it just for fun. They're doing it for money. Whether that's profit through partnerships or sponsorships, or getting more people to visit their facilities, or ad revenue, you can't ignore the factor of money. And this is NOT a bad thing, because it allows educators to do what they're passionate about! People deserve to be paid for the work that they do!
But the problem starts when you chase the algorithm instead of actually educating. A "smiling" alligator gets the views, and if people don't know enough to know better, it keeps getting the views. People love unconventional animal stories and they want those animals to be happy- but the inability to even know where to start with critically evaluating these posts really hinders the ability to spread real information. Like, this post will probably get a couple hundred notes, but that video of Coconut being scrubbed had almost 400,000 likes when I took that screenshot. Think about how many eyeballs that's reached by now. What I'm saying here is that it's just... really important to think critically about who you're getting your information from. What do dissenters say in the comments? What do other professionals say? You won't find a single herpetologist that has anything good to say about Prehistoric Pets, I can tell you that right now.
Another reason you can trust me is that my sources are not "just trust me bro," or "years of experience pretending my pet shop where animals come to die is a real zoo." Instead, here are my primary sources for my information on alligator behavior:
Dragon Songs: Love and Adventure among Crocodiles, Alligators, and Other Dinosaur Relations- Vladimir Dinets
The Secret Social Lives of Reptiles- J. Sean Doody, Vladimir Dinets, Gordon M. Burghardt
Social Behavior Deficiencies in Captive American Alligators (Alligator mississippiensis)- Z Walsh, H Olson, M Clendening, A Rycyk
Social Displays of the American Alligator (Alligator mississippiensis)- Kent Vliet
Social Signals and Behaviors of Adult Alligators and Crocodiles- Leslie Garrick, Jeffery Lang
Never smile at a crocodile: Gaping behaviour in the Nile crocodile at Ndumo Game Reserve, South Africa- Cormac Price, Mohamed Ezat, Céline Hanzen, Colleen Downs (this one's Nile crocs, not American alligators, but it's really useful for modeling an understanding of gape behaviors and proximity)
Thermoregulatory Behavior of Captive American Alligators (Alligator mississippiensis)- Cheryl S. Asa, Gary D. London, Ronald R. Goellner, Norman Haskell, Glenn Roberts, Crispen Wilson
Unprovoked Mouth Gaping Behavior in Extant Crocodylia- Noah J. Carl, Heather A. Stewart, Jenny S. Paul
Thank you for reading! Here's a very happy wild alligator from Sanibel for your trouble.
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deltarune theme again :3
#the spamton quote i chose doesnt rlly fit w the rest of the theme but i had to fucking put it there at least for now#that shit makes me crazyyyyy like you did it! you condensed the entirety of the no mercy route and snowgrave route's themes into#one fucking line!!!!!!!!! you tried to see too far you weren't satisfied with what you got from the game you had to see more consume more#''not out of any desire for good or evil. but just because you think you 'can'. and because you 'can'... you 'have to'"#and now all the whimsy and joy and comedy the game once had is gone. nothing but ''proceeding''. getting to the end. seeing everything#who cares about what happens on the way. you just have to see it. you have to consume it. you have to complete it#THERE WILL BE NO MORE [Miracles] NO MORE [Magic]. YOU LOST IT WHEN YOU TRIED TO SEE TOO FAR... YOU LOST IT...#serena.txt#its not a joke that once those themes rlly sunk in for me once i had enough of a developed brain to understand them. they really have#changed my view on how i ''consume'' ''content''. every time i catch myself doing stuff like getting upset if im not able to play a game#for the maximum amount of time i have available to be playing it i go ''thats the chara in your brain. stop that. you dont have to#reach the limit of every enjoyable thing you can just do it for any amount of time any amount of progress and thats fine''
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Some of these responses to Taylor's playlists leave me highly suspicious that some people writing them have never actually lived normal human experiences.
#it's like that when you receive new information it's okay to change your opinion post#like shit happens and you view it one way at the time and then you will look back on it a million different ways#throughout your lifetime influenced by what you have since learned and what has since happened to you#why am i explaining this
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imagine you’re dating ghost and no one knows. the two of you have kept it a secret on your end and his just for your protection— because ghost knows what could happen if someone finds out, how someone might try and target you to get to him, or worse, given his line of work.
but then imagine that he’s on a mission, interrogating some piece of filth ready to decorate the fucking wall with his brain matter when the guy says “you know what, simon, killing me would be the biggest mistake of your life.”
immediately ghost would pause, eyes narrowed, though his hardened demeanour wouldn’t fade much, he’d just blankly stare at the prick like “oh yea? n’ why don’ you tell m’ why.”
the shit-eating grin that would crawl across that fuckers lips would have ghost ready to kill him right then and there, but then he’d say “reach in my pocket. pull out my phone.”
id like to think ghost would have absolutely none of this assholes bullshit, not at all entertained by his theatrics. i’d like to think he’d just press the muzzle of his gun to the fuckers temple within an instant, all teeth barred and ready to get it over with when the guy would add,
“your girlfriend is a fucking beauty, isn’t she?”
everything would pause. ghost, time, the world, air, the universe itself—the life that would drain from ghosts face would almost be enough to make his alias a reality. his heart pounding in his throat, his fingers fucking trembling as he immediately reached into the assholes pocket to find his phone—a picture of a woman tied up (face not in view however) lighting up on the home screen. there’d be no thinking rationally, no thoughts in ghosts head except for making sure you were fucking okay. he’d do whatever he’d have to do, kill the guy, leave him strapped there, whatever—he’d be out of that room in two seconds flat and personally flying the helicopter back to your house calling you nonstop every fucking second until you answered.
“hello? si?”
he’d wait a second before answering. taking everything in. background noises, the inflection of your voice. it sounds calm, maybe too calm? he’s grasping his phone so fucking hard it’s a miracle it hasn’t shattered between his fingers.
“princess,” he breathes, fighting with everything in him to keep his voice steady. “see any birds today?”
though it was a genuine question, it also was an established one. ghost had set up a series of questions for a situation precisely like this. if you said blue jay, it meant you were fine, at home, as usual. if you said crows, it meant you weren’t.
“oh just the usual blue jays, si.” he could almost hear the smile on your lips. “everything okay? i miss you.”
ghost would exhale a shattered breath. “i’m coming home.”
and then he’d show up, not all but a few hours later, hands still trembling slightly, heart rate still struggling to regulate. it was too much, reminding him too much of his past traumas, he knew he needed to find better protection for you, but that was a conversation for another time.
he’d come in the house, barely even taking the time to shut the door behind him, almost frenzied again, relentless, unable to relax until he could finally lay eyes on you. and then, the second he did, he’d just pause and look at you, all messy hair and pyjamas still on, in the kitchen cooking breakfast for you both since you knew he was on his way.
and he wouldn’t say a goddamn word, he’d just come up behind you and wrap his arms around your waist, hugging you so tight you’d hardly be able to breathe, his face buried in your hair and his heart thumping at your back. you’d feel the pain the fear the anxiety radiating off him and you wouldn’t try to say anything because you knew he needed this, you knew he needed to see you, hold you, feel your pulse stable and alive. you knew he just needed a moment to breathe.
and so the two of you would stand there like that for a while, and then he’d take a big inhale and spin you around to face him, pulling up his mask to plant soft kisses on your jaw.
“i love you so fuckin’ much.”
#simon riley imagine#simon riley cod#simon riley x you#simon ghost riley#simon ghost x you#simonriley#simon riley#simon#simon riley call of duty#simon ghost x reader#simon riley x reader#simon riley smut#simonrileysmut#ghost smut#simon ghost smut#ghost riley#ghost#ghost cod#task force 141#taskforce141
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Finally got to read this and —
Also, Levi, telling everyone James isn’t dead yet
FUCK I RAN OUT OF TAGS —
Anyways, Silver Underground truly leaves me breathless with every chapter. Thank you for this gift, Amy!!
silver underground. | chapter 22
( Read on AO3 )
Pairing: levi ackerman x f!reader (attack on titan / shingeki no kyojin) Word Count: 5k Summary: the past and present; levi's version Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI - flashbacks, levi's pov, graphic imagery, sickness, medical conversations, panic / paranoia, mentions / canon divergence of the recently published 'bad boy' chapter (extra warnings under the cut)
Previous Chapter. / Next Chapter. | Masterlist.
CHAPTER 22.
note: there is a presumed major character death in this chapter. please do not read if you are not in the right headspace for this content. mental health first xo
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He can’t shake the adrenaline.
Kinetic energy thrums through his veins, destroying his focus.
For the fifth time since he returned to headquarters, Levi’s hands dip generously into the pool of ice-cold sink water in the corner of his bedroom.
His wrists flick up, quick, to splash it across his face like the whiplash sting will somehow calm the fever in his heart.
A sixth time.
A seventh.
He’ll keep going until that look on your face from the forest is wiped from his mind.
(Until he stops thinking of the before, when he wasn't enough.)
His lungs constrict as he forces himself to breathe, slow and steady, though the exhales exit like strangled gasps.
White knuckles resign themselves to the mouth of the sink as he leans in. His shoulder blades detangle themselves, sorting out the tension, while his eyes wearily stare at his reflection from the watery mirror below.
I know you, you said.
Of course you know him.
You said a long time ago you’d always know him, as if he’s an extension of your arm leading directly to the beat of your very heart.
How could I forget someone like you? you'd muse. If anything, you'd forget me.
(As if that was ever a fucking option.)
When you were just kids wasting away in the bitterness of the Underground City, you likened yourself to a shadow following Levi’s every footstep.
How could you look at yourself as a shadow when you were always the only light in his goddamn life?
You may not remember everything that's happened to you, everything that's made you, but Levi has silently volunteered to carry every burden in the interim.
Yours and his.
Up a hill, down a slope, through the mud, against raging snow — he'll carry the essence of you until you come back.
Because he was there.
For most, if not all, of it, he was there.
Twin fingers, reaching high for the stream of morning sunlight.
Shoulder to shoulder in a mess of sheets; you swore you’d never get over the sensation — the warmth of the light.
He'd never forget.
Levi would come to know warmth far better than the sun above — like the ghost of smile peppered over your lips.
He rolled over to selfishly block your view.
You were better than the goddamn sun, he'd quickly come to realize for himself.
He'd never forget.
"Can you believe there's really a world out there like this that can be real?" you murmured into the hollow of his throat as he peppered a crown of kisses against your forehead.
That the two of you could lay on a mattress easily fitting the both of you, not threatening to cave in on itself.
That you both could live this secret life, as Captain and Lieutenant, until you were old and gray.
For a second he so foolishly believed you could, too.
In comparison to the Underground, the surface could be considered paradise.
Maybe still hell on earth in its own right, sure, but at least it wasn’t a life buried in a tomb.
The vibrant green of the trees. The dirt that didn’t always stink of rot. The endless blue sky above.
Warmth was a comfort so many took for granted.
You knew. You both knew.
Caked sweat and congealed blood. Green bruises and busted lips. An abyss of gray, nothingness.
That's what he understood best.
— especially after she died.
His mother; the first concept he had of the sun.
And for the short few years she was alive, she was radiant.
The withering city wasn’t so bad under her wing, even if the men who berated and belittled her were.
Levi vowed he’d grow strong enough, brave enough, to make sure one day they wouldn’t have to live in a cramped space surviving on the niceties of traded goods — bodies for money, lies for survival.
Then Kenny entered his life and everything became violent.
Bared teeth and closed fists. Selfishness and territories.
Mine, mine, mine.
Except it was all his — that bastard took every damn cent he could make off of him and then some, oftentimes working him to the bone.
(You got a meanness, boy. Meanness that can’t be taught. No, that’s deep in your blood.)
And Levi believed him.
He believed him because no matter how easy it could’ve been to lie down and die, to maybe one day see his mother at the end of his dining table again, he was fully prepared to do whatever he had to in order to survive.
To endure.
To come out on top and never let anyone — not even Kenny the Ripper — destroy him.
Because he had memories to hold onto.
People.
The rest of the world may have forgotten his mother, but Levi refused.
Hell, it was his only driving force.
He might have known violence, it may have infected his blood, but he wouldn’t lose his humanity and disappoint her.
And when Kenny set him up for a betting fight, usually it was with men twice his size and triple his age.
Little kids were never on the roster, but you — you were an exception.
New, but just as ferocious.
A girl, sure, but you landed the punches on him so many others couldn’t.
He remembers the way your neck felt under his bony fingers. How your teeth clenched together. How you growled like a feral animal.
One more second of that fight and you would have been able to overtake his lead — he was too busy staring, searching.
Memorizing someone who had endured, too.
You said you were a shadow.
Levi knew shadows.
If you were a shadow, then maybe he would've ignored you.
Maybe he would have left you the hell alone.
(Because at the end of the day, all of this is his fault. The memory loss, the injuries — all of it.)
After the gun fired and the crowd scrambled, Levi couldn’t leave you well-enough alone.
He couldn’t let you find your own way in the maze of a miserable mausoleum where your bodies would eventually find peace together, perhaps even side by side.
All Levi could do was selfishly keep tabs, watch your fights, see that piece of shit you called Mother berate and harass you in the comfort of alleyways hidden from plain sight.
If you didn’t die in the rings, then chances are she would have sold you off — resigning you to live out the rest of your days like his mother.
He saw the way the world was cruel to her.
He’d be damned if he didn’t stop the world from being cruel to you.
So at the end of the day, yeah, it’s all his fault.
If he hadn’t convinced you to join his two-person operation all those years ago;
If he had pushed you harder before the final job to hate him;
If he had figured out a loophole in Erwin’s ignorance of what you are to him to push you into another division that wasn’t the goddamn Scouts, claiming disruption or inciting violence—
If, if, if—
So many possibilities, so many scenarios, where he holds your fate so selfishly against his own chest in fear of dissolving it.
Yet he was so willing to finally let you go.
To do the right thing now that you’re on the surface.
Now that you are free.
An invisible string that gleams crimson is tied to his ring finger.
It dips under the sink and snakes across the wooden floorboards of his bedroom, into the hallway, and straight to you.
If only he had caught you the first time.
If only.
.
.
.
.
.
.
In the aftermath of falling straight to the forest floor, dust kicks up all around him, invading his lungs and choking him out.
It burns, but it doesn't deter him.
Here he has only one objective.
One goal.
“James?”
He calls your name, hoping to hear something.
Anything.
The only sound that answers is the bristle of the tree branches above.
A scene so ghastly concludes with serenity and the weightless chirps of birds.
Coughing, Levi swipes at the cloud of dirt with his hands, dropping his dulled blade to the earth.
It clunks as violently as he’s moving, scrambling to find your silhouette anywhere in this goddamn mess.
"C'mon, damn it," he growls to himself, swiping at the murky air.
One step, then another.
You can't be far.
He'd fallen down with you, trying to break both of your falls, but the momentum was far too great.
At the last second, he rolled away from you thinking you'd lean in and follow.
You did not follow.
—then he sees it.
You’re not vertical, head up and feet outstretched in a daze.
You’re horizontal, lying face-down in the dirt.
Motionless.
“James?!”
Levi repeats your name, louder this time, before nearly vomiting from how much debris he’s inhaled.
He wretches, arm wrapped around his stomach, teeth grit.
He manages to get ahold of himself, to stave off the sickness, before he drops to the ground and crawls to you on hands and knees like a child.
“James, hey—”
The world stops, then and there.
You don't move. You don't respond.
His hand halts in a hover over your body, painfully aware that he cannot pull you upright carelessly.
It's so quiet down here.
Quiet, as if...
Slowly his watering eyes widen, his mind going to the place where logic can follow.
“...James,” he murmurs, voice dissolving.
He decides to then scoop the once-hovering hand to inch it under your wrapped emerald cloak. His other hand cradles the back of your neck, mindful of the worst case scenario.
The sickening heaviness of your body greets him as he turns you over, carefully, to find your lips parted and eyes closed.
He can't tell if you're breathing.
You look like you're sleeping.
No.
No, this isn't what it looks like.
“James, shit, wake up—”
His words crack, throat dry.
“Wake up.”
Louder this time, like anger might jolt you.
Where he goes, you’re meant to follow.
You’ll follow his voice. You’ll follow it and you’ll wake up and he’ll never forget how you scared the living shit out of him.
(Even if he will eventually forgive you for dedicating your fucking heart to a cause you didn’t even believe in.)
Logic battles with emotion.
Reality fights with fate.
Cradling the back of your head with immense care, Levi takes action and head ducks to press against your chest, desperate to find —
There.
It’s faint, but a heartbeat is still there.
“Don't do this,” he pleads under his breath. “Don’t you up and fucking quit on me now. I know you can hear me.”
The wheeze of overworked gear flies past his head in a semi-circle.
Several boots land to his west, hasty in their descent.
Luckily his head is turned to the east.
(He can hide the growing terror from his squad. He can buy himself more time to harness his panic and push it away.)
“Captain?” It’s Eld, wasting no time to rush over. He hears the quick taps of his boots running right for him. “Captain, what the hell happened?”
“James?!” Petra yelps, and he can hear Oluo gasp with finality.
No.
No, you aren’t dying.
Not today. Not tomorrow.
“Wait, don’t,” Gunther interjects suddenly.
Levi assumes it’s to keep the rest of the squad back from crowding the scene.
The blonde scout drops to his knees beside his captain, panting heavily. Levi can smell the stench of sweat and exertion radiating from his uniform.
“Captain Levi,” Eld urges once more.
“We have to get her back to the Walls," he forces himself to say, voice steady.
Levi lifts his head with practiced precision.
He meets Eld's worried gaze with a deadened stare.
"Is she...?"
"Her heartbeat is faint," Levi answers the question Eld doesn't have to finish, "but it’s there.”
Eld's face falls.
Levi hates it.
I just said it's there, damn it. Don't consider her dead. Don't.
“She saved us!”
A meek voice peeks out from behind Eld's back.
Levi Squad turns in unison — a well-oiled machine built for crisis — to find Miro Squad riding to the clearing with the extra horses.
The entire squad looks haunted, worse for wear, but they still stayed.
They still fought to the bitter end.
Like true Scouts.
Miro hops off of their horse, running over to the group first.
“Several titans attacked us. If it wasn't for the Lieutenant, we would have all been eaten alive. Please, if we can help in any way, we owe her.”
They bow as one of the other shaken Scouts pulls Levi's horse by the reins from around the back of the formation.
“Sir, Scout Rini is a doctor," Miro continues.
“A doctor?” Oluo blurts incredulously. “Out here? In the field?”
“Formerly a doctor,” Rini anxiously states while dismounting from his horse, "before I joined the cause. I — I would say I could treat her here, but there’s nothing I can do. Too much blood loss. If we can get her inside the Walls—”
“Are we going to keep wasting time talking?” Levi growls, glaring daggers at the rest of the group. “I’m not letting her bleed the hell out. Help me get her on my horse.”
No one hesitates.
Both squads rush to his aid, lifting you with utmost care.
Twenty pairs of hands and ten bodies working in tandem to make sure they don’t jostle your neck or hurt your spine.
The captain only lets go of you to hoist himself up on his black stallion, before bringing you close to his body in a side-saddle.
He can ride one-armed and keep you steady.
He refuses to believe otherwise.
Because Levi sees it on their faces — beyond the faintest breath against his hand, there’s next to no indicators that you’ll survive.
But they don’t know you.
Not like he knows you.
“Don’t you die on me,” he murmurs against the crown of your head, lips close enough to count as a kiss.
Then he’s off.
He speeds off like a bullet on his horse, crouching over with his jaw so clenched he can feel his teeth nearly cracking.
Forward. His only goal is to push forward — past the trees, past the old villages, and doesn’t stop to look back.
“You’re not allowed to die.”
From this distance the other won't be able to hear, but you might. So he keeps talking.
Come back to me.
“Still got all that shit you wanted to do up here, right? You remember that?”
Levi wishes you could answer.
He wants to believe you would if you could.
“You still gotta get those dumbass cats of yours. You know how many of those filthy things are on the streets? You can fill an entire fucking house for all I care.”
Anything.
He’ll do anything, at this point.
“Didn’t give me a chance to… to find a damn house, to figure everything out—”
A whole world left to discover.
(You asked for his last name. A last name worth nothing, yet somehow it still held something for you. God damn it, he’d give you that last fucking name in every lifetime so long as he could still keep you in this one.)
He stops speaking when Gunther and Eld take it upon themselves to push their horses to their limits, flying past him.
They surge forward in their journey to the nearing Walls, determined to carve a seamless entrance for Levi to enter.
Eld leans back and holds an arm up high, shooting off a red flare for the Garrison Regiment stationed at the perimeter to see:
Danger.
(Once they reached the gates, they could explain everything. A red flare is enough for now.)
Flicking his wrist to snap the reins, his horse picks up the pace and gallops harder.
Levi pulls you into his chest, ignoring the tremble in his limbs.
From fear or adrenaline.
From both.
“We have an injured Scout, but she’s still alive!” Eld shouts to the Garrison Regiment above with an urgency Levi’s never heard from the typically stoic man. “We need a wagon and medics, now!”
Between the flare and Eld’s command, the action is already set in motion.
The gears churn, slowly opening the large stone gate just enough for humans to clear in passing.
Eld and Gunther are first.
Levi, not far after.
The others, including Miro Squad, arrive seconds later.
Several Garrison soldiers pull up to the gate with a wagon suitable for approximately eight, maybe ten people.
Levi continues to hold you protectively to his chest as they prepare, cradling your neck with the utmost care.
One false move and the light goes out.
(He knows how easy it is to take a human life.)
“Levi!”
He hears the wail of Hange’s voice in the midst of the panic.
His eyes search for them in the commotion, body stonelike, only to spy their unruly ponytail flying in the wind — with Moblit not far behind.
And...
Commander Erwin?
The tall blonde causes the crowd to divide in half, shoulders adorned with the Scout emeralds.
Hange and Moblit look just as horrified as he feels.
They run right up to the side of his horse calling your name, but their voices are all but mumbles to him.
Not when Erwin’s eyes bore into his.
Although the commander's expression is one of stone, Levi can sense what Erwin wants to say.
Unspoken deja vu; they’ve seen how this played out before.
Except this time, Levi has you in one piece.
He made it back this time.
He didn't forsake you.
(And he isn’t letting a titan take you from him. Not like Isabel. Not like Furlan.)
“Levi, what happened?!”
Hange rips him out of his trance, bringing him back to gruesome reality.
Medics finally arrive on the scene. Below him he can see Scout Rini directing them, immediately stepping back into his former occupation with ease.
On the sidelines, the remainder of Miro Squad huddles together.
Eyes watery and body trembling, some cry into their hands.
Some hide their faces in the shoulders of their comrades.
She’s not dead yet, he wants to snap at them. Don’t act like she’s gone. Not yet.
(If he repeats it enough, then can he make the impossible true?)
“She played hero, that’s what fucking happened," Levi seethes after he manages to find his voice, forcing it not to crack. "Saved a goddamn squad on her own against orders. She needs a doctor. I don’t know—”
“They need to take her, Levi,” Hange interrupts with an understanding softness in their tone. “Let her go.”
The captain’s under eye trembles.
“I’m going with her on the—”
“You will,” Hange promises, nodding quickly, “but you have to let her go so they can start working — before it’s too late.”
They're right.
The medics are waiting, just on the other side to receive her.
Slowly Levi unfurls his arms, one by one, and helps gently transfer you to the people he's entrusting your life to.
As soon as you're off of his lap, however, Levi swivels his legs off of his horse to follow suit.
Hange’s eyes widen as he dismounts, but Levi’s too busy watching them set you down in a sea of blankets and gauze.
“Levi, your shirt. It’s…”
Briefly he turns his chin to glance up at his comrade, registering what they're saying before looking down:
Maroon.
Deep, deep maroon.
His once-white button down is stained with a mixture of grimy dirt and blood.
“It isn’t mine," is all he can think of saying back.
Hange's expression shifts in seconds, a certain slant of pity he hates witnessing.
He doesn't have the energy to fight Hange, Erwin, any of them.
Not when he has to get to you.
He has to stay with you no matter what.
With that statement lingering in the air, Levi abandons Hange to trudge over to the wagon. In one swift motion, the captain hops over the siding of the transport.
His knees fall just above your head, settling in place for the ride to the hospital.
Most of the medics are too busy ripping up your uniform to check for deep gashes and broken bones, documenting them as they gear up to leave, but a few glance at Levi with uncomfortable shock.
Then one brave soul speaks.
“Sir, we’ll need you to stay back.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” Levi firmly states.
“But it—”
“The wagon fits ten. If you have a problem with it, we can talk later. She's on my squad.”
She's my responsibility, damn it, and I'm failing her.
The wagon dips once again in newfound weight, and a pair of knees come into view.
On the other side of James’ head rests Hange.
“I’m going, too," Hange states firmly.
Levi can feel his expression smoothing, one of reluctant gratitude.
He catches the sentiment, buries the emotion down his throat, and drops his chin to focus on James.
“C’mon, c’mon!" they shout to the medics for him. "Let’s go! We can't waste anymore time, damn it!”
With Hange’s order, the wagon takes off.
In the initial jolt, Levi abruptly reaches both of his bloodied palms to rest on either side of your head, keeping it in place as the horses run the wagon to the Trost hospital.
The medics and Doctor Rini continue working amongst themselves, with Hange on the ledge observing.
Seconds feel like hours.
It's agony.
“We’re almost there,” he murmurs under his breath, to you and you alone. “Just a little longer, alright? We’re in the Walls. You went back and saved almost an entire squad by yourself, you overachieving piece of shit. So don’t give up now, damn it. Keep fighting.”
Despite not being alone this time, the captain is unwilling to stop talking for a single moment.
He can sense Hange’s eyes boring down the back of his neck, but he doesn’t care for decorum.
He doesn’t give a shit if this brings more questions at his front door.
This may be your last few moments with him.
So he won’t leave.
(He never left Mom, and he sure as fuck isn’t leaving you.)
“She’ll need extensive surgery.”
A rogue murmur catches his attention.
When Levi looks up, he sees one of the medics addressing the doctor scout. Gravity brings a grimace to her face.
A second medic frowns. “Do you think she’s going to—”
“Don’t say it,” Rini replies softly. “What she needs is our undivided attention. This is a Lieutenant of the Scouts, and she saved my life. Treat her life as your highest priority.”
Levi decides to say nothing.
There is nothing to be said — no argument will change the outcome.
As the wagon finally arrives at Trost medical, they’re received by staff with a gurney.
They begin prepping you to be transferred, but—
In a flurry, Hange gasps and leaps out of their seat to fiddle with your neck.
The sudden touch completely throws him off, causing him to protectively curl around you.
“The hell are you doing?”
“Her necklace, Levi,” Hange swiftly states, their own voice shaking. “The doctors could break it during surgery. You know she’d never let us live it down if they destroy it.”
His heart seizes.
Hange’s act of kindness isn’t lost on him.
You loved that damn thing.
No, you love.
You’re still there.
It isn’t just a mere memory yet.
Belatedly nodding, the dark-haired man clears his throat. "Yeah, she'd be pissed."
"I thought so," Hange exhales, finally detaching the clasps.
It's the first time he's seen you without it since you were teenagers.
(Doesn't look right, being off your neck like that.)
Eventually the medics successfully transfer you to the awaiting gurney.
Without another word to Hange or himself, the team dedicating to saving your life run into the building.
Everything was a flurry until there was nothing.
Silence.
Levi’s shoulders slump as he’s forced to watch you disappear from his sight.
There wasn’t a chance to save Furlan or Isabel.
They’d been destroyed, limb from limb, before he could stop it from happening.
He’d managed to get you this far, but…
Now it was out of his hands.
His fists clench, determined to keep your blood close, protected, in his palms.
(Helpless.)
“Do you want to hold it for her?”
Hange’s voice enters his mind as he slowly turns his chin, blue-grey eyes finding the taller scout frowning.
Their eyes are glassy in a way he refuses.
Mourning.
Slowly they extend their arm, unfurling their fingers.
A lump forms in the middle of his throat at the sight of the glittering silver in their palm, the pendant still just as beautiful as the day you accepted his gift.
“Keep it, Four Eyes, and give it back to her when she wakes up.”
(If he touches it, then you might actually disappear. He already possesses enough keepsakes from the dead with a self-inflicted burden to carry them all. The world may have forgotten them, but he hasn’t. He won’t.)
“Levi…”
“She’s going to live, Hange.”
Whether he says it to convince Hange or himself, Levi doesn’t know. Perhaps it’s for both of them.
He knows how much they adore you.
He’s no stranger to the fact that you’ve made your own home outside of him — they love you as much as he loves you.
“She’s a fighter. Always been once, ever since we were kids.”
The lack of shock in Hange’s gaze makes him wonder how much you’ve told them about the two of you.
“She’ll fight tooth and nail to get the hell back here.”
“I know she will,” Hange laments.
A blanket of silence envelops them as they continue to wait for any news outside of the hospital, together.
The longer he waits, the closer he feels to being ten years old again.
Alone.
So fucking along and so goddamn terrified to wait for the truth.
Because it’s either one or the other.
You live, or your story ends.
Levi inhales, holding his breath.
And holds.
And holds, childishly wishing it could be enough for the both of you.
Like if he doesn’t let go until you gasp for life, then he can save you.
He can keep you.
.
.
.
.
.
.
He finally exhales, giving in to the collapse of his shoulders.
He can’t save you, just as much as he can’t keep you.
Levi knows this.
He’s known it since the second you woke up in that hospital bed without an ounce of warmth in those eyes of yours.
That was when he made his choice to leave you be, to give you a running shot at the life the two of you had always talked about.
He thought one day was grueling.
Impossible.
One day became one week.
One week into months.
He stayed away, but at what cost?
He hasn’t slept right in this bed.
He barely eats.
He opts to show his face at the mess hall with his standard cup of black tea to keep up the appearances.
If the real you died that day, then he was certain he died right alongside you.
Now, within six agonizing months, you’ve saved yourself — chose yourself — to still somehow end up right back where he left you.
(That kiss, tattooed with the permanence of the loss of you, still burns his lips from yesterday.)
You might remember.
You might know who you really are.
You might know him.
The sink below rattles.
It takes a second, but when he shifts his dissociative stare to his thumb, he notes the tremble.
He grips tighter, squeezing, before giving up. He pushes away from it altogether, cradling his forearm to suppress it himself.
Focus.
Find your sanity and ease it back.
Maybe you won’t say what he wants to hear, but he promised like a fool.
Don’t push me away. Don’t shut me out.
I won't, he promised. I’ll never.
Hearing the horses whinny to a halt outside, he scrubs his face with his hand and chooses to turn on a heel to stalk towards the door.
He’ll scope out how everyone’s doing, make a cup of tea, mull all this shit over—
Then he opens his door to your face.
You stand before him, hand raised like you were about to knock.
Frozen in time just like he feels.
James.
Levi can’t feign indifference when he stares back at you, not when it’s almost unsettling how much more… you, you look right now.
Life radiates from a dead body. You’re not apologetic in getting caught, just apologetic that you nearly slammed the knuckles of your fist into his face.
For a moment, there’s silence.
He can hear the other scouts talking amongst themselves downstairs.
And before he can say a word, you speak.
“Can we please—”
“Yeah.”
He doesn’t let you finish.
There’s no reason.
Rip the bandage off the congealed blood.
Call it a day, if he is meant to lose it all.
His hand extends the door on its hinge, inviting space for you.
“Yeah, might as well.”
You step in, and Levi prepares for the worst.
.
author's note: a lot of you had asked for levi's pov on the events that went down, and i've been waiting to get his side of the story.
thank you for reading the final few chapters of this journey. you are all so very wonderful for the encouragement, the engagement, etc. on both here and ao3. i hope all of my rebloggers have a good night's sleep and a little treat; you are the soul of this story.
#where do I even begin??#the red string tied to his ring finger and the mention of her wanting his last name bc these idiots wanna marry each other SO BAD#and SO DO I!!#how could you look at yourself as a shadow when you were always the only light in his goddamn life?#im sorry let me just#AKAKAJAMAKAMAAMNSMSMAK#the parallels between her and his mother — especially knowing now how he guessed what her fate would have been under Mother#no one TALK TO ME#the fact he viewed his mother as pure and radiant even despite their circumstances and how he views James the same way#UGH#Levi knowing shadows and that’s how he knew James wasn’t one#honestly the way you portray his decision not to remind her of who she was upon awakening is so fucking Levi#like he almost approaches it clinically — he had all these dreams with her about life on the surface and the moment he sees that blankness#in her eyes POOF. gone. time to reassess even if it tears his soul apart#and he WOULD be selfless enough to decide she has a chance of getting out so ofc he takes it for her#but it’s also so selfish too because it feels like some part of him wants to be spared of the pain of baring his soul to her again#only to have her not recognize him#taking away her choice to protect them both in a sense#and it’s executed PERFECTLY#god this is so heart wrenching#his dialogue killed me —#she played the hero that’s what fucking happened#so biting and so ANGRY#but bc he’s so scared 🥺#also you overachieving piece of shit took me out I’m not sorry#almost trying to goad her back to consciousness#AND SHE’S OUTSIDE HIS ROOM!! NO MORE HIDING LEVI!!#FALL TO YOUR KNEES TAKE HER IN YOUR ARMS YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO#I think he’s still gonna front a bit next chapter — still try and keep her at a distance but he’s gonna break. and it’s gonna be delicious.#phenomenal work as always Amy!!
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