#like right...were 'they' saying that or was anne? or was that what anne believed? was the show perhaps from her (gasp) POV and so
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the downfall and execution of a tudor queen (2023) / the boleyns: a scandalous family (2021) / the king's pearl: henry viii and his daughter mary (2017), melita thomas / anne boleyn (tv miniseries 2021) / the mirror and the light (2024) / elizabeth (1998)
#web weaving#sort of?#i never feel like my edits really fit#they're more like collages#anyway...me on my island with the one other tudor fan that liked AB 2021 lol#'our expectations were low but holy fuck' sounds like a lot of consternation about a pretty...solid script?#what i loved most about it was moments like the above#the ability to summarize really complex dynamics borne of circumstance#in such a way that you can believe in the world and it serves as its own 'previously on' that a miniseries inherently lacks#esp when it only covers five crucial months#tl; dr there's a lot of smugness evident in many books of this genre#when it comes to anne's attitude towards her stepdaughter#bcus she was quote proven wrong unquote; becaues mary got quote the last laugh unquote...#when really. as per the quotes i've been posting#it doesn't seem like mary's reconciliation with her father was the idyll many have made it#thus we have anne's letter#and offer. knowing that others are offering her better futures#but saying this is the best future you could have. limited time only.#and it seems the future proved her right; not wrong (at least the immediate future)#bcs while matters; had she accepted; might not've been substantially better than they were under the auspices of a 'more gentle' stepmother#it also doesn't really seem like they would have been substantially worse#anne was right that her enemy's supporters wanted her disgraced and/or dead. she was right in that they wanted elizabeth disgraced#and/or dead. she couldn't have predicted what happened to herself in the exact matter it did- mainly bcus it was unprecedented#but it seems she had a pretty clear view of what mary was doing: playing both sides. attempting to ingratiate herself to her father while#also conspiring against him. and she knew it would have been better to have her on side#(and in a more jaundiced view: have her where she could watch what she was doing; who she was seeing)#but perhaps underestimated how impossible it would be to get her there in the first place#('on side' ; that is. not at court. although probably not that either. with the conditions she demanded)#but her fears of mary were not paranoia. they seem to have been grounded in realism#and a clear view of the situation at home and abroad
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anyways i saw a video of non dutch people pronouncing dutch names and im proud to announce that two of my characters and one of my coworker's names are there
#also in WHAT WORLD is anne-fleur a hard name?? is it bc of the dutch e being the english a i will never know#i will confess i shot myself in the foot naming her friend lieke. i just picked names i liked without considering that shit#most of the annoying dutch things in that play i did fully aware they would be a nightmare (but i was doing what felt right)#lieke i just wasnt thinking#anyways proud to announce i did decently#like i can do willemijn and thats all that matters#also they had kees there?? i dont think kees is hard.#maybe bc i was exposed to it via widm so i heard it said a lot#at least merel is easy to say and since shes one of two leads in goud i think i did well there.#now i am thinking of a play i did in high school which was set in switzerland and we all sat down and did agreed pronunciations#so like they probs weresnt correct swiss german but they were consistent and that links in to believability#which has now made me think of than dammed essay where the accents were not consistent#i would have been fine if all the dutch ppl had british accents tbh but NEE hanna van vliet was there and threw it off#(its actually a lot more complex than that)#imma shut up#OH GOD I JUST THOUGHT OF THE SURNAMES IN GOUD. FUCKING ROOIJAKKERS.#de smet is easy tho :)#oh god i just remembered theres a minor character called froukje#mind u while i go scream#at elast froukje is VERY MINOR
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hi! heard the released “Merry Christmas, Please Don’t Call” (which i’ve seen you’ve heard live, if i’m not mistaken!!) this morning and i don’t know if there’s really a particular vibe/dynamic/ship hrpf-wise (personally haven’t yet been able to put my finger on it) that quite relates but the lyrics have been rotating in my head all day and i was wondering if you had any thoughts? hope you have a good one! <3
OH ANON HAVE I EVER SEEN IT LIVE!!! and the second that song came out i zoomed it straight into my fic playlist and unfortunately there are so many guys this could be. right now the one that's resonating is, of course, the golden boy and his haunted ghost themselves: mcstrome.
i am thinking about connor, specifically, after the stanley cup final. that game seven. how angry he was, how loud the silence when they told him he won the conn smythe. how close he's come before and again and again lost. there's nobody else to blame but himself. he's in the empty room and he knows why (1)
at!! your best!!! you were magic!!! oh, golden boy. connor the anointed, of course. at the very beginning of his career we always knew he was something special and who wouldn't have fallen in love with him? weren't all of us a little bit dylan strome in awe of the generational talent? we were all bathed in radiant light just by being in the vicinity (2)
don't even tell 'em that you know me breaks my heart (3). in terms of building a narrative i think i've said before there is a universe where connor/dylan were together before the draft and to protect both of them, dylan breaks up with him. connor says i love you and dylan says i don't. because he doesn't, you know? he loved connor. he loved davo. he can't be in love with connor mcdavid, first overall pick of the edmonton oilers. i'd rather be hurt forever than have to watch us try to make this work and destroy us.
and after connor mcdavid left the otters, dylan strome captained them to a memorial cup win. what a haunted home, eh? to be captain of the team you and your best friend were on, only now he's left you? don't call me to tell me about your rookie season with the oilers--we both know about your broken collarbone. don't call me to tell about becoming the youngest captain in franchise history when i stepped into the shoes of your captaincy here. don't call me. (4)
narratively: dylan's the one who broke connor's heart and his own but by god it wasn't easy. we both know what happened, you went first overall. please don't make this harder on me. please don't call.
this verse can be about the weight of dylan having to live up to connor's standards and always being measured by him. i would just like to bring up the connor stepping stone chart for absolutely no reason as well (5)
we are, at long last, at the potential future of now: dylan strome, happy, smiling, thriving on the washington capitals. connor, on the oilers. i'm not yours, dylan can say. haven't been for a long time. it took some time but i made this. please don't call and ruin this for me, stay out of my life. i don't want you or need you (6)
[p.s. this took a while because when i received this ask i was a) immediately possessed to write this verse by verse breakdown i had never thought of before and then b) immediately plagued by the idea of making you a little graphic (above the read more) and finally got to do it after banging out all the actual lyric thoughts two (?) weeks ago. emerging two and a half hours later from the fugue state of GIMP with 37 layers in this bad boy hope you enjoy!!!]
#not me being like did i tell y'all about seeing bleachers? and then just proceeded to take it at face value like yeah i probably did#do i remember when or in what context absolutely not. maybe re: popstar jack? also very possible i was just. yapping.#anyway we're gonna put tag footnotes for other potential pairings &dynamics because otherwise this post looks frankly. unhinged. which it i#(1) because i am nothing if not a parody of myself i would like to provide an honorable mention to the death of the goon in this lyric.#when does time stop? when is it just you & your anger? who's the person you've divorced yourself from because you couldn't catch their fist#in case it was not clear this is also incredibly a trade narrative. did we pick that up? this is lovers to enemies. this is we were not goo#for each other and i don't regret that. parise suter fans rise up. the speaker in this case is the minnesota wild org.#(2) there is a note of nostalgia and longing here--when you were magic. i remember when you were a giant to me. i remember the hope#and possibilities. rip to sidney crosby the next one and golden boy of this generation but this is sung like a rookie to the vet they once#idolized. i was sold and maybe i shouldn't have bought it. maybe you tarnished over time. or in a softer light it is a comfort not a#criticism i bought tickets to the show. at your best you really were something and you made me believe i could be magic too. SORRY. dylan.#sorry. he'll come up again later. but every team has a golden boy don't they? do we know the cathal kelly bedard article where he talks abt#eating your prospects alive by building a narrative they can never live up to & promising them every year so that when they can it's a shoc#(3) three line devastation here my god. don't pretend you were kind golden boy! don't you dare tell anyone what you told me because then#they'd know too. the “coming out” narrative of it is discussed but while i don't love this it's the easiest example i have: jamie & trevor#have we heard jamie talk about trevor in a single interview? sometimes after a guy you loved gets traded you don't want the reminder.#it's even worse if he chooses to leave. claude giroux hater-era au arc where we don't talk about him. jt leaving the islanders dead to them#(4) while not a trade the other draft narrative we grew up together to enemies is of course zach and dylan. zach roaming around ann arbor#please also apply to subsequent usntdp team 100/101/102 narratives. alex turcotte i'm sorry they never speak your name you will hurt foreve#(5) to counter the rookie to the vet narrative of the golden boy this is fairly explicitly To Me a vet about his rookie who's supposed to b#the promised one the one who'll save them all. dallas is coming to mind here but not for any real reason. nail yakupov are you there.#taylor hall curse of the 1OA. pretty common also for guys to take in a kid when you're barely 26 yourself & haven't got ur shit figured out#so. dealing with a neurotic driven kid? yeah this is somebody who had a golden boy &fell out of favor. got traded. ty smith j'accuse style#(6) or in another story please don't call because i'll come right back#goodnight chicago the playoff handshake line. please don't call me. please don't call me.#HELLO BESTIE!!!! i think this is a wonderful song for Fic Purposes and could be applied well to SO many different narratives. i picked a#specific example but do feel the dynamic is very much what the song says: toxic ex and/or family/friend you don't need in your life. trades#seguin leaving boston etc etc. there IS an answer eluding me besides mcstrome though. not toxic enough. tk pat trade? OH TK PAT. or older#trade deadline tragedy
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Can I request five x reader (takes place in s2) where reader (five’s partner) gets sent to Dallas around a year before five comes and after he does and reader sees him, she immediately tackles him on the spot and gives him many kisses. Maybe reader manages to work at a casino too
a/n: hi, thank you so much for your request! i haven’t written in a while so i'd love to hear your thoughts, enjoy!!
summary: it's been far too long since you've seen your boyfriend - he learns that the affectionate way.
warnings: reader works at a casino but there’s no actual gambling so🤷♀️
word count: 1.4k
You had to hand it to yourself, for someone who’d known next to nothing about life in the 1960s, you’d adapted pretty well. In no time at all, you’d managed to land yourself a job as a waitress in a casino. A very good one. It seemed in this timeline, Jack Ruby thought a casino would be a better investment than a night club - and for your part, you couldn’t say that he was wrong, nor could you complain.
The hours were long, but the pay was good enough and the other girls had taken you in as one of their own. You quickly began to excel. Strolling between the tables and flashing smiles was easy, second nature even. You developed the wit and charisma to charm the casino’s patrons without second thought, which meant you got more drinks served, more loyal customers and bigger tips to go along with them.
Most nights the new life you’d built for yourself was more than enough but sometimes, no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t help but yearn for what had come before - who had come before.
There was always a dull ache in your chest whenever you caught a fleeting glimpse of a lone, brown-haired man at one of the tables. In those moments, you could never stop yourself from believing for a slither of a second that Five had made it and he’d come right back to you.
You’d waited for him in that dingy, old alley for two weeks straight, because you knew that Five would never abandon his family like that. That something must’ve gone wrong, but it was okay because he’d come back and everything would be fine. That was what you told yourself. You were so sure he’d show up and solve everything in an instant, because that was what he always did. And when he hadn’t, it had almost destroyed you.
The first few months were gruelling, taking your first steps in the new world had taken a while. Grieving Five had taken longer. The obvious truth was staring you in the face. A year without contact from him or any of the other Hargreeves siblings? The probability was that you were the only one who had survived.
It was a truth that you were reluctant to admit, even now. One that led you to where you are today, starting yet another night shift, beside the casino’s bar, to serve a particularly rowdy Friday night crowd of patrons.
As you begin to set up, Mary-Anne, one of the other waitresses on shift, sidles up to you. Her honey-blonde curls bouncing around her ears as she leans against the bar. Trying to stifle her laugh, in her southern drawl, she says, “Has he tried talking to you yet?”
You raise an eyebrow at her, tilting your head to the side, “Has who tried talking to me yet?”
Her grin grows wider as she gestures to a table on the far corner of the room, laughing, “That little boy. Haven’t I said a million times that we oughta get tighter on the security in this place?”
She sighs, resting her hands on her hips, “I went over to him - trying to tell him that we don’t allow minors in here - and what’d he do?”
Deciding to humour her, you smile, looking down at her, “I’ve got no idea, tell me.”
She scoffs, shaking her head as she smiles, “He told me that he more than knew his way around place a place like this and that I had nothing to worry about with him. Can you imagine having the nerve like that at his age?”
The thought made you laugh. It reminded you of Five. His haggard temper in the body of his younger self always seemed to shock people in the very same way. You paused. It couldn’t be him, couldn’t it? You must be jumping to conclusions. After all this time, it’d make no sense if he was here now and yet…
“He said that?” You ask, eyebrows furrowing as you glance between the table and Mary-Anne. You squint, trying to see if you could recognise him.
A part of you felt silly and girlish for still holding out hope but this kid’s description was just too similar and besides, you were a teenager again, you were allowed to be lovesick and entirely delusional. It was practically your god-given right.
Mary-Anne nodded, loading her tray up with drinks of all shapes and sizes to cover her half of the room, “He did.”
Your eyes were locked onto the distant table, practically pleading for the kid to just turn around and let your hopes down already. Still, all that greeted you was the back of his head and the green fuzz of the poker table in front of him.
When you didn’t tear your eyes away, Mary-Anne looked you up and down, her baby blue eyes swimming with concern, “You alright there?”
Looking back at her, you sigh, already pent up at the possibility of Five being so close, “Yeah, I just… What did he look like?” You ask tentatively, biting your rouge-tinted, bottom lip between your teeth.
Mary-Anne hums in thought as she loads your tray for you, “Gosh, I don’t know - he had dark hair, was wearing a suit. It had the funniest, little emblem on it.” She says, tapping her chest in place of where it would’ve been.
Your eyes widen in shock and excitement as you process her words, “An umbrella! It was an umbrella, wasn’t it?”
Mary-Anne grins, giggling, “It was… how’d you know that?”
You couldn’t even answer her. You were already starting to tremble and hyperventilate, entirely overcome with nerves and joy and pure, unbridled excitement all at once. A year of being apart and now he was no more than a few strides away. Your smile brightens up like no other.
You slip your tray from over your head and place it down on the bar as you say, “Hey, cover for me, would you? I’ll be two seconds.”
Without waiting for her answer, you dash across the room - a flurry of giddiness bubbling up inside of you the closer you get. You tousle your hair and straighten your uniform, anything to keep your anxious fingers busy and to better yourself for something you’ve waited for for far too long.
Hearing heels coming towards him again, Five sighs in frustration and turns around in his chair, “Lady, I already told you-“
The breath feels like it’s been stolen from your throat as he turns to face you. It’s really, truly him. Your boyfriend is right there in front of you and you’ve never felt more relief than in this moment.
“Y/N.”
You’re not sure if you want to cry or scream or simply just take him in for the first time all over again. As you look over him, his piercing gaze, his dark hair and the freckle on his right cheek that you can’t count the number of times you’ve kissed, your eyes can’t help but be drawn to his lips.
God, how you’ve missed the feeling of them. You barely have time to think about what you’re doing before you’re cupping his face and pressing your lips against his once more, savouring every part of him in a way you’d never thought to before.
Your hands trail over every callous in his skin, memorising him with your fingertips, and as you pull back, Five’s gaze softens like nothing else as he smirks, “Hello, you.”
His hands reach out to cup your face, gazing over you as if he’s not entirely sure that you’re real. After all your time apart, you’re not sure either. You smile, nodding, “It’s me. It’s you. You’re here, you’re really here!”
You cup his face in return and you can’t help but press another kiss to his lips. He smiles fondly as you do. And so you kiss him again… and again on his cheek… and on his freckle… his chin… his forehead. Everywhere your lips can reach, you press them.
After a moment, he laughs weakly and reaches up to pull your hands away from his face and intertwines them with his own fingers instead, “Okay, love.” He says chasteningly, “Let’s calm down there, shall we?”
Your smile grows shyer as you right yourself, “Sorry.” You say, brushing your hair away from your face.
He shakes his head, brushing your hair back for you and then guiding you by the waist to the seat beside him, “No, don’t be sorry. Don’t ever be sorry. Believe me, I’m just as happy to see you. Really.”
It’s him who initiates the kiss this time. He’s soft, delicate almost, in the way that he kisses you, as if each movement of his lips is a new way of giving all of his love to you and promising that he won’t ever let you out of his sights again.
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Since we believe the older Jason gets, the more he looks /acts like Bruce, if he attends a gala because of an obligation (i.e. Alfred guilt trips him and the others) how often does he get mistaken as his dad?
Does he take a little advantage and pretends with the more drunker socialites, and tricks them into donating to the lesser known charities that he knows get ignored and directly impact Gotham's poorer neighborhoods?
(Or does he just starts rumors to mess with them all about his dad's rich boy myth. He def makes shifts the hors d'eourves into almost small chilly dogs if he can)
"Mr. Wayne. There you are!"
Jason turned around, smiling wide enough his jaw hurt. With the slim-cut suit, the thin glass of champagne in his hand, and the angle of his shoulders, the whole move was practically a flourish. It was how Bruce did it, after all -- and frankly? It didn't feel too bad.
The true joy came, however, from seeing the faces of the two women as his identity registered. Their smiles tightened, but didn't disappear entirely. Not Bruce Wayne. Close -- but no cigar.
"Mr. Wayne is my father," Jason said, just a little lower than Bruce normally would. He let his eyes settle on the first woman -- blonde, thin lips, eyes narrowed -- and tilted his head, just a fraction. "But I get that all the time. It's flattering, really."
Was it?
"My mistake. You look just like him from behind," the blonde woman said, her strained smile returning. "Jason, yes? Truly remarkable."
Jason swapped his champagne glass into his left hand, holding out his right to her. "Jason Todd. And that's what I strive for at events like these -- remarkable."
The other woman laughed a little at that, breaking ranks with her friend. She was a little older, with more wrinkles on her face than she should have, at her age. A smoker, probably. "Jessica."
Jason shook her offered hand, giving her a smile. "A pleasure, Jessica."
"Anne," the blonde woman added, like an afterthought. Jason hadn't missed the way she'd avoided giving her name when they'd shaken.
Jason skipped right over that tidbit. "Are you looking for Bruce, then? I can point you in the right direction, but you might need to call a cab. He's at Wayne Manor tonight, unfortunately. A little under the weather."
If you can call three broken ribs and a concussion "under the weather."
"Oh, how awful," Jessica said, holding a hand over her mouth. She turned to Anne. "Did you know about this?"
"Of course not," Anne said, eyes narrowing in on Jason again. "Is he alright? It's not like him to miss an event like this."
Jason realized, idly, that was, in fact, Anne Regis. And that he was, in fact, standing at the Regis Charity night. Which meant Anne was -- in all likelihood -- pissed by Bruce's nonarrival. And disappointed in his replacement, if the way her lips pursed meant anything.
"Well, I'm sure he'll make the next one," Jason offered, shrugging one shoulder. Bruce's suit pulled a little, reminding him that silk and satin had less wiggle room than spandex and Kevlar weave. "Fear not, I did bring his check. And his checkbook, if the one he wrote wasn't...satisfactory enough."
It was telling, how Anne's eyes didn't light up at the idea of a larger gift. It meant that this event wasn't really about raising money -- it never was. It was about seeing and being seen. And Anne Regis had wanted to cash in on Bruce Wayne's presence, not his money. His social standing, his charm, his glamor -- not his checkbook.
"That's lovely, dear. What a thoughtful son." Anne glanced over her shoulder, indicating she was about to excuse herself. "Jessica, it looks like Roger is back. Why don't we excuse ourselves--" heh "--and say hello?"
Jessica gave Jason a warmer smile than Anne. "Stay sharp, kid."
"Tell Bruce I said hello," Anne said, with a nod that might have been charming, several decades ago. "We'll have to do brunch soon."
They left, disappearing back into the sea of people. As soon as they were out of sight, Jason diverted to the back bar, setting down his glass of champagne.
"What can I get you?" the bartender asked him, taking the glass before Jason could even look for a discard tray.
Jason glanced at the impressive array of bottles, suddenly understanding why Bruce tended to stick to soda water or seltzer at these events. Every single word he'd traded with the women had been like a spar of its own. He needed to stay sharp. Sharper than he did, normally.
"Diet coke, lime, please," Jason said, digging into his pocket and pulling out a crumpled twenty. He put it in the tip jar, not missing the grateful spark in the bartender's eyes.
"Right away, sir."
#mini fic#micro fic#asks#myfic#theresurrectionist#batfamily#batman#bruce wayne#jason todd#I'm sorry this got away from me#it was supposed to be like two lines#dc
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𝐀 𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐒𝐔𝐑𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐄 ✦ 𝐋𝐇⁴⁴
SUMMARY: Upon discovering you’re pregnant with your boyfriend’s child, you find yourself spiraling into a wave of insecurities, fearing his potential negative reaction and the impact it could have on your relationship. NOTES: English is not my first language, so there might be some writing mistakes. I apologize for that, and feel free to point out any improvements. PAIRING: Lewis Hamilton x Reader! Girlfriend. WARNING: Established relationship; mild angst; unplanned pregnancy. WC: 2.8k
MASTERLIST | THE (IM)PERFECT PLAN SERIE
It was the second time that day you found yourself leaning over the toilet, your stomach churning relentlessly. Breakfast and the light snack you’d had earlier—both meant to be simple—had already made their way there, and with each passing moment, your suspicions grew harder to ignore. Yet, you stubbornly refused to acknowledge what was right in front of you.
Two weeks had passed since your period was supposed to start, something completely out of the ordinary for you. Your cycle was always regular. In its place came the nausea and constant vomiting.
You didn’t know what to do. The thought of taking a test was too terrifying. It felt easier to pretend this was just a passing illness. After all, how could you possibly be pregnant? You and Lewis were always careful, taking every precaution.
“You need to take a test,” your friend Anne said as she held your hair back, preventing the mess from worsening.
“Anne, I don’t know if I want to know the answer.” You spoke between breaths, rising to rinse your mouth at the sink.
“Eventually, you’ll have to face it,” she said gently, her hand brushing over your back in a gesture of comfort. “If it’s true, you’re going to have to tell him.”
“I don’t even know if he wants to be with me, let alone a child. He’s going to hate this news.” Your tired, worried eyes stared back at you in the mirror. “I don’t know what to do.”
“He won’t hate it. He loves you, and I’m sure he’ll love having a child with you,” Anne said, trying to ease your anxiety. “Y/N, don’t believe what people say online. They just want to bring you down.”
“You don’t understand.” You turned to her, your eyes full of doubt. “We’ve never talked about it—about starting a family. Whenever the subject comes up, he changes it. At first, I thought it was because we’d only been together a short while, but now… I think he genuinely doesn’t want anything more serious.”
“But you’ve been together for two years! How could he not want something more serious?”
“He was with Nicole for seven years, and that wasn’t enough for him to marry her.” You lowered your head, your chest tightening. “Deep down, I think the media’s right. He probably just wants to stay free until the last day of his life. His whole world revolves around Formula 1. Family isn’t part of his plans. Only the eighth title matters.”
You took a deep breath, trying to keep the tears at bay. The weight of your words felt unbearable, but you couldn’t stop thinking them. The fear that this was all a mistake, that Lewis simply wasn’t ready for more, consumed you.
Anne noticed your distress and stepped closer, her hand resting on your shoulder in a comforting gesture. “I know it seems hard right now, but you can’t make these decisions on your own. You have to talk to him. He deserves to know, and you deserve to hear what he has to say.”
You turned to face her, your expression reflecting the emotional storm you were caught in. “And if he doesn’t want it? If he tells me he’s not ready, that what we have isn’t enough? What am I supposed to do with this baby? With this… life?”
“Then you’ll deal with it in your own way. This isn’t about what he wants—it’s about what you want, what you need. He may be the person you love, but don’t forget who you are and what you deserve.”
Anne’s words echoed in your mind, but the truth still felt distant, shrouded in uncertainty. It felt like you were standing at a crossroads with your life taking a direction you’d never planned for. Lewis, with his fast-paced existence of racing, titles, and adrenaline, seemed worlds apart from your quiet longing for stability—perhaps even a family. Something you weren’t even sure he shared.
In the end, you knew you couldn’t avoid reality any longer. The test needed to be done. Procrastination wasn’t an option anymore. The fear was overwhelming, but the uncertainty hurt worse. And, above all, the result would only be the beginning. The real challenge would be telling Lewis.
“Will you do this with me?” Your voice came out softer than expected, almost a whisper filled with vulnerability. You looked at Anne, searching her expression for a strength you felt you’d lost. “I mean, will you buy the test and wait for the result with me?”
Anne smiled reassuringly, taking your hand in hers with a firm grip. “Of course. And if you prefer, we can do this at my apartment. No rush, no pressure.”
You shook your head in refusal. “I think it’s better to do it here. He’s not coming back today… probably not until tomorrow night. Maybe even later.” The emptiness of the house felt less oppressive when you spoke aloud, but the apprehension was still palpable. “I just need the courage to go to the pharmacy.”
Anne squeezed your hand, her eyes full of understanding. “You don’t have to do this alone. Let’s go together. Let’s get this over with.”
The trip to the pharmacy was quick, but each step felt like a monumental challenge. The way back home seemed even longer, with the weight of the small package in your bag growing heavier by the second. Back at the apartment, you locked yourself in the bathroom while Anne waited outside, offering encouraging words that barely penetrated the storm in your mind.
You held the test in trembling hands, your eyes scanning the instructions like they were an impossible puzzle. Time seemed to freeze as you waited for the result, the silence broken only by the relentless pounding of your heart.
When you finally looked at the small display, reality crashed over you like a tidal wave. Positive.
Your breath caught in your throat, tears welling up in your eyes as you stared at the lines that confirmed what you already suspected. Silent tears began to stream down your face as a flood of emotions—fear, anguish, and an inexplicable love for the new life now connected to you—washed over you.
“Well?” Anne’s soft, hesitant voice called from the other side.
You opened the door, holding the test in your trembling hand. Anne’s expression softened at the sight of your tears. She said nothing, simply pulling you into a tight embrace.
“What now?” you asked quietly, your voice laden with uncertainty.
Anne pulled back just enough to look into your eyes, her expression calm but firm. “Now you take a deep breath, Y/N. Then, you tell him. No matter the fear, no matter the doubts. He deserves to know, and you deserve to be heard.”
You nodded slowly, but the lump in your throat remained. Her words were logical, exactly what you needed to hear, but the fear still loomed, beating loudly in your chest. How would you tell Lewis? How would you find the words that would change both your lives forever?
“Anne…” Your voice came out shaky, barely a whisper, as you wrapped your arms around her tightly, searching for any fragment of comfort. “I’m so scared. What if he… what if he doesn’t want this baby?”
Anne sighed, her hand gently rubbing your back with patience. “Y/N, even if he doesn’t, which I honestly find hard to believe, you’ll move forward. You’re stronger than you think.” She pulled back just enough to meet your eyes, her gaze full of conviction. “If you want to have this baby, that’s all that matters. We’ll take care of it. I won’t leave you alone, ever.”
You closed your eyes, trying to absorb her words, but the weight of the situation still felt unbearable. “But what if he leaves me, Anne? What if he thinks this was a mistake? That I was careless?”
Anne cupped your face with both hands, forcing you to look at her. “He loves you. And even if the idea scares him at first, he’s a good man, Y/N. But more than anything, you need to remember that his love isn’t the only thing that matters here. What do you feel? What do you want? That matters, too.”
Her question hung in the air, echoing in your mind as you tried to find an answer. Deep down, you knew what you wanted. You loved Lewis with all your heart, and despite the fear consuming you, you already felt an inexplicable love for the life growing inside you. But bridging those two feelings felt impossible.
As you stared at the positive test sitting on the bedside table, your heart pounded relentlessly, racing with uncertainty. That tiny object seemed to carry the weight of all your doubts and fears. You knew you couldn’t put off talking to Lewis forever, but the thought of confronting him was paralyzing. Each passing second only tightened the knot in your throat.
He was supposed to return the following morning, giving you one night to organize your thoughts, find the right words, and somehow gather the courage that felt so far away. But now, as the reality began to settle in, you decided to push it aside for a while. You needed to distract yourself, to focus on taking care of yourself—and the baby you now carried.
In the kitchen, you started preparing something simple to eat. The thought of being responsible for another life made every small action feel significant. You couldn’t ignore your health or choices anymore. Everything you did was for two now. And though the anxiety still throbbed in your mind, there was a small, strange comfort in that realization.
You were slicing fruit when the sound of the front door opening suddenly broke the silence of the house. Your heart nearly stopped for a moment. He wasn’t supposed to be back until the next morning.
“Y/N?” Lewis’s voice echoed from the living room, heavy with exhaustion and surprise.
You turned to see him standing in the hallway, still holding his travel bag. He was dressed casually in a black jacket and his signature travel cap. His eyes locked on you, then shifted to the plate of fruit on the counter before softening into a smile.
“I decided to come back early. I couldn’t stop thinking about you.” He approached, leaving the bag by the wall to pull you into a warm hug. The heat of his body against yours brought immediate comfort—but also a new weight.
You weren’t ready. Not yet. But the moment seemed to have chosen him—or fate had.
“Are you okay?” Lewis asked, pulling back just enough to study your face. His expression was laced with concern.
“I’m… I’m fine. Just tired.” Your voice came out low, but you knew he would sense something was off. Lewis always did.
His brows furrowed slightly as he tilted his head, his gaze probing. “You sure? You seem a little distant.”
With him standing there, just a few steps away, the idea of telling him felt even more daunting. Fear wrapped itself around your chest, squeezing tighter and tighter. Fear that the news could change everything between you, fear that the love you shared wouldn’t be enough to face what was coming. So, for at least one more night, you decided to delay. Tomorrow would be the right time. Tonight, you just wanted to savor your last moment of peace with him—if everything changed afterward.
But the memory of the test sitting on the bedside table sent a fresh wave of panic through you. If Lewis went into the bedroom now, he’d see it. There was no way to hide it in time.
“Nothing’s wrong, love.” You forced a smile, leaning up to kiss him, his lips still warm from the chill outside. “Why don’t you sit down? I’ll take your bag and be right back, okay?”
Before you could grab his bag, Lewis held onto it firmly, shaking his head.
“You don’t need to do that. I can carry my own bag.” He smiled, the kind of smile that always made your heart flutter, and slung the strap back over his shoulder. “I’ll shower and then we can pick a movie, yeah?”
“No, seriously, let me.” You insisted, your voice slightly too quick. “You must be exhausted. Just relax, I’ll handle it.”
He raised an eyebrow, clearly noticing your unease, but didn’t argue further. “Y/N, I’m not made of glass. I can carry my own luggage.”
Without another word, you followed him to the bedroom, your heart racing with every step. Lewis placed his bag by the wardrobe but lingered, his gaze drifting back to you.
“You’re acting weird,” he commented with a small smile, though he didn’t press further. “I’ll take a quick shower and be back. Pick us a good movie.”
As soon as he entered the bathroom and the door closed, you let out the breath you had been holding and quickly made your way to the bedside table. With swift movements, you grabbed the test and hid it in the deepest drawer, pushing it down beneath a few papers. When you finished, the relief was immediate, but brief.
You left the room and returned to the kitchen, trying to distract yourself with anything else. You prepared a bowl of fruit and placed it on the counter, but your mind couldn’t help but drift back to the inevitable moment that was coming.
Minutes later, sensing something was off with Lewis’s delay, you decided to return to the bedroom. When you opened the door, your heart nearly stopped at the sight before you. Lewis was sitting on the bed, his eyes fixed on the pregnancy test he was holding in his hand.
“Lewis…” your voice came out weak, barely a whisper.
He looked up, and for a moment, you couldn’t read his expression. It wasn’t anger, but it wasn’t relief either. It was something in between—confusion, perhaps.
“How long have you known?” he asked, his voice low but firm.
The question hit you like a punch. “What? Lewis, I—”
“Were you hiding this from me?” He stood up, his brow furrowed in a mix of frustration and hurt. “Did you think you could handle this alone?”
“I didn’t… I just found out!” you retorted, feeling your eyes well up. “I didn’t even have time to think, to process. I was going to tell you, Lewis!”
But he didn’t seem to hear you. He ran his hands through his hair, clearly trying to organize his thoughts.
“I thought we were a couple, Y/N. That we trusted each other.”
Those words hit you cruelly, a blow to your vulnerability. “Lewis, I wasn’t hiding anything! I just… I didn’t have the courage to take the test until today. I needed a moment. A second to process what was happening to me.”
He paused, studying your face, his dark eyes softening as his anger dissolved into understanding. Finally, he shook his head, the weight of the tension lifting from his shoulders.
“When were you planning on telling me?” he asked, his voice quieter, but still firm.
“I was going to tell you tomorrow,” you rushed to explain, almost pleading for him to believe you. “I just… I didn’t know how to do it. Lewis, please, believe me.”
His expression changed completely. Without saying another word, he walked over and pulled you into a tight hug. The warmth of his body was comforting, but what struck you the most was the soft sound of a sob. He was crying.
“You should’ve told me as soon as you suspected,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. “I wanted to be here with you when you took the test.”
“Are… are you happy?” you asked hesitantly, the words coming out in a whisper full of doubt.
He pulled back slightly, cradling your face in his big, warm hands. A smile broke through the tears streaming down his face.
“Of course I’m happy, my love.” His voice was low, but full of conviction. “This baby is a piece of our love. How could I not be happy?”
You collapsed into his arms, your head resting on his strong chest as tears flowed freely down your face. The relief and love you felt in that moment were overwhelming.
“You have no idea how scared I was,” you confessed through sobs. “I was so afraid you wouldn’t want this baby… that you wouldn’t want me anymore.”
He held you even tighter, impossibly so, and kissed the top of your head, lingering in the gesture.
“I would never do that, Y/N. Never.” He sighed, his voice thick with emotion. “You mean everything to me. And now, we’re going to be a family. I just wish I’d been there with you from the start.”
His words were a balm, soothing the storms that had built in your heart over the past few weeks.
“I’m sorry,” you whispered, still hidden against his chest.
“You don’t have to apologize,” he replied, gently stroking your hair. “We’re both learning. But now that I know… I promise you’ll never face any of this alone again.”
You stayed like that for long minutes, not needing any more words. The moment was just for the two of you, and nothing seemed more important than the future you were beginning to build together.
#f1#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 fanfic#f1 x you#formula 1 fanfic#formula 1#formula 1 x reader#formula 1 imagine#f1 x y/n#lewis hamilton#lewis hamilton x reader#lewis hamilton imagine#lewis hamilton x you
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@janeyseymour I KEEP MY PROMISES
Emergency Contact
Okay so, I was inspired by the episode where Mel falls, and honestly I just know if she had a wife, Barbara would’ve called her SO FAST. So this was born.
Enjoy.
You grin as you stare at your phone, caller id clearly reading ‘Abbott Elementary.’
“Mel, if you forgot to charge your phone again, we need to just get an extra charger to leave at the school.” You tease as you shut the door behind you.
“Hi, is this y/n?” Your smile drops at the unfamiliar voice and you stop in your tracks
“This is she.” Your words are tentative, voice shaky as you continue “can I help you?”
“Hi this is Janine Teagues from Abbott Elementary, I have it down here that you’re Melissa Schemmenti’s emergency contact?”
“Yes, that’s right.” You shake your head as you continue walking to your car.
“Well, I’m sorry to bother you, but there’s been an accident, can you come to the school?”
Your heart stops as you take in her words.
Melissa’s been in an accident? What happened, and why is your wife not calling you herself?
“I’ll be there in 15.” You spit the words out and hang up the phone, not willing to waste any more time on pleasantries when Melissa’s hurt.
You make the drive in silence, eyes focusing on the road, as you try to calm your racing heart.
Your tires squeal as you turn into the Abbott Elementary parking lot, haphazardly parking before running into the school.
“Whoa- where ya going?” A tall woman stops you as she steps out of the office off to the side of the area that bypasses the locked doors.
“Uh hi. I got a call from Janine Teagues stating that uh Melissa Schemmenti was in an accident?” The words are rushed, coming out at the same speed at which the thoughts are racing through your head.
“Janine called you? Damn, you must be the emergency contact.”
“Yes.”
“Alright then, I’m principal Coleman, I believe Melissa’s in the nurses office, you ever been here before?”
“I’ve helped Mel set up her room a few times, nurse’s office is right before the library isn’t it?”
“You got that right. Need an escort?” She says with a wink as she hands you a visitors pass.
“Nope I got it.” The words are barely out of your mouth before you take off in a sprint down the hallway.
You fly past the library, and rush into the little area that acts as a makeshift waiting room for the nurses office.
“Did you have to sprint in heels?”
At the sound of your wife’s voice, you stop.
“You’re okay?” Your voice is tentative, and you can’t help but hold your breath.
“Ankle hurts like a bitch, but I’m okay. Jesus, hon you look like you’ve seen a ghost, you good?”
“Am I good? Melissa Ann Caterina Schemmenti… Why on earth did your coworker call me and say nothing except for needing your emergency contact.”
“Janine called you?” Your wife’s voice is sharp and you shoot her a glare.
“Yes she did. But why didn’t you?” You sit next to her on the small cot and rub your face. “Jesus Mel, that was like the call I got when Dad died. It scared the fuck out of me.”
“Watch your mouth babe, you’re still in an elementary school.”
“Melissa.” The way you say her name lets her know that she’s got to explain quickly or she’s in trouble.
“Okay- I may have fallen this morning. It was nothing really, just bruised my ankle and aggravated my back, but I promise I’m fine.”
“What were you doing when you fell?”
“Walking. I tripped over some rock on the sidewalk, but it’s okay I didn’t even spill my coffee.”
“Mel… you’re injured and the only thing you care about is your coffee?”
“Hey! My wife made me that coffee.” She teases before nudging your shoulder with hers.
“WIFE?!”
The shout that could’ve only come from Janine makes you both jump.
“Jesus kid, what the hell?”
“You have a wife?”
Janine’s shout must’ve carried down the hall as three more people come rushing in behind her.
Melissa presses her fingers to her temple and sighs as she looks at you.
“Yes. I have a wife. Did you have to announce it like you were Jim Gardner!?”
“You never told us you had a wife?!? You told us you were married, but to a woman?!”
“You thought I had a husband?”
You laugh at the confusion in your wife’s voice.
Janine nods enthusiastically, hands flying with the speed of her voice.
“Well, yeah. You never said wife, just always said ‘spouse’ or ‘better half’- I just assumed they were a man-“
“Kid- I tried men, it didn’t stick.” Melissa interrupts while shaking her head “anyway-, I never hid anything. You didn’t ask.”
“Wait- are you saying, you’re like… a lesbian?”
“Jesus Christ Jacob, what tipped you off? Was it the wife?” Melissa replies dryly.
Before he can respond, Barbara, your wife’s best friend steps in the room.
“Melissa’s personal life is her own, she’s under no obligation to share. However, how are you y/n?” She says to you with a smile.
You smile warmly at Barbara, thankful to see at least one face you recognized.
“I’m alright now that I know this one’s alright. It’s good to see you again, Barb.”
“Wait?!? You knew?!” Janine exclaims.
“Of course I knew, I was at the wedding.”
Silence fills the small room, the weight of Barbara’s confession settling over the group. Janine stares in open mouthed as she processes this new revelation.
“You were at the wedding?” She finally sputters out, voice tinged with disbelief.
Barbara raises a perfectly arched eyebrow.
“Janine, I choose not to gossip about coworkers, but yes I was at Melissa’s wedding. Her wife is a lovely woman and I have been honored to call them both my friends for the many years we have known each other.”
Melissa snorts from her spot on the cot, shaking her head.
“Lovely, huh? You haven’t heard her curse at the tv during an Eagles game.”
“Baby, that was a shitty call and you know it!”
You cross your arms, but smile softly, your anger and adrenaline melting away at the sight of Melissa’s smirk.
Jacob clears his throat, looking between the two of you.
“Well, I for one, think this is wonderful. These kids deserve representation, and it’s important for them to know that love comes in all forms. This is the stuff we should teach in classrooms.”
Melissa shoots an award winning glare at the young man “Jacob, you make me a poster and you’ll meet Edith Houghton.”
“Got it! No poster.”
Barbara sighs before giving Jacob a pointed look.
“Perhaps we should let y/n get Melissa home before you turn lunch into a sociology seminar.”
“Right! Sorry, Janine we should go. Melissa, rest well, let that wife of yours get you to a doctor.” Jacob leaves the room, pulling Janine with him
As soon as they leave, Melissa lets her head fall onto your shoulder and you kiss the top of her head softly as she groans
“Everyone will know by dismissal.”
“I know how you are about your personal life, but it’s good they know. They’ll forget about it eventually.”
“Too bad eventually isn’t now.”
“Like you won’t love bringing her to game night. Seriously though, y/n, I am glad you could come. Melissa did not want to call you herself.”
“Is that so?”
You turn to look at your wife, who is staring at the ground to avoid your gaze.
“Okay- I didn’t want to worry you. It’s just a bruised ankle and a stiff back. A few days of rest and I’ll be back to normal.”
You tilt your head, glaring at your wife.
“You’ll go to a doctor first to verify that. Also, you didn’t want to worry me? Mel, a stranger called me. And Janine at that. Had you just called me yourself, I would’ve panicked less.”
Melissa softens as she takes your hand.
“I’m sorry, hon. I should’ve called you myself. I love you, and I just didn’t want you worried.”
“I love you too, but I knew what I signed up for when I married you. Or did you forget who drove you to court when you threw corn at Ben Simmons?
“Y/n, why don’t you get her home? I’ll get Ava to watch over her class for the rest of the day.” Barb says as she leaves the room.
“Thanks, see you at dinner on Sunday.” You shoot the teacher a grin as you help your wife stand up.
“So… a rock?”
“It was a big rock.” Melissa insists, cheeks pink.
“Sure it was.” You shake your head, grabbing your bags. “Let’s go, tough guy.”
#abbott elementary#lisa ann walter#down bad for a certain redhead#fan fiction#wlw#wlw fanfic#melissa schemmenti x reader
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In the almost month since the election I’ve gone through so many emotions. I’ve felt hopelessly crushed, furious, overwhelmed, and just plain exhausted. I hate that this has happened, and that the orange shitstain is gonna put the most awful people in power. I’m not gonna lay down and die, but I’m just so tired of this. That man has slowly drained the hope out of this nation for the last ten years and I’m sick of it. I know this didn’t start with him, but he certainly emboldened blatant authoritarianism. I know every generation feels at some point the world is ending, but at this point it feels so difficult to try to have hope for the future. I believe we as a country can be better than this, but I’m not sure at the moment how we can get there.
I know the feeling, the tired part any ways.
in 2016 I was in the Hillary campaign and like we talked about HOW! bad Donald Trump could be, Hillary had a tweet "we can't trust a man who can be baited with a tweet with the nuclear codes" and for us inside the campaign we took all that very seriously for us it was not talk we meant it, we believed he was really dangerous, deeply corrupt possibly criminal already, and totally unqualified and unfit. And we said so, and no one took us seriously, I always remember a nice middle aged couple stopped at our office to get some signs they weren't from the state and were just passing through. But Democrats, supporters and I was trying to push them to maybe volunteer (as was my job) and I talked about how a Republican President (Ie Trump) could appoint up to 4 Supreme Court justices and they would surely do away with Roe V Wade. And They literally rolled their eyes at me and said "I know thats a good line but do you really believe that'd happen? they'd do away with Roe?" yes, yes we did.
So any ways I believed Trump 1.0 would be every bit as bad as it turned out to be, it was even on January 6th a little worse. So I went through the emotional roller coaster in 2016
2024 has been just sad, and tired.
But I do feel something growing in the guts of my soul, rage, pure burning rage. Someone once said that the thing that fuels every good activist is rage at the world for being imperfect. I don't know if thats right or true.
But it's whats getting me up in the morning, we offered hope, and kindness and a better world and they threw it back, well fuck 'em. This is my patch of dirt on god's good earth goddamn it and they can't fucking have it without a fight, I'm a miserable cockroach motherfucker, I will out fight them, out last them, and win and stand on the ashes of their fucking fascist dreams.
more to the point, I did feel like giving up, and saying "well they picked this, eyes wide open, now we all suffer, w/e" but I don't get to give up, Bill Clinton said "there are no permeant victories or defeats in politics" and he's right, this is the call and the cause, to struggle unendingly for the better world and if you're very lucky you live to see it turn a little and a new battle for the better of man kind than the one you spent your life on be engaged. For me personally, my nephew is trans, he's 17 looking at colleges, picking states that are safe for him. I don't have the power to protect him, I did EVERYthing in my power to stop this, because of him, and for him, I'll be out there again and again and again. I wish deals with the devil were real because I'd just go to hell so he could be safe and happy, but sadly only hard work and uncertain outcomes are real.
I have no easy answers, no clean hope of a better world or a better America about to be born from the bitter ashes of this election. Harvey Milk said "I know you cannot live on Hope alone, but without it life is not worth living" And the last 10 years, the forces of darkness have across all of society, wearing many different faces tried to take hope out of our souls, and its brought us here. My favorite speech is by Ann Richards and I quote the end a lot, but here I'll quote something she said way way back in 1988
This Republican Administration treats us as if we were pieces of a puzzle that can’t fit together. They've tried to put us into compartments and separate us from each other. Their political theory is “divide and conquer.” They’ve suggested time and time again that what is of interest to one group of Americans is not of interest to any one else. We’ve been isolated. We’ve been lumped into that sad phraseology called “special interests.” ------ No wonder we feel isolated and confused. We want answers and their answer is that "something is wrong with you." Well nothing's wrong with you. Nothing’s wrong with you that you can’t fix in November! We've been told -- We've been told that the interests of the South and the Southwest are not the same interests as the North and the Northeast. They pit one group against the other. They've divided this country and in our isolation we think government isn’t gonna help us, and we're alone in our feelings. We feel forgotten. Well, the fact is that we are not an isolated piece of their puzzle. We are one nation. We are the United States of America.
in the 2020s we're doing it to ourselves but its helping the cynical just as much. Each of us trapped on our phones in our own personal self made hell, well not self made, there are algorithms feeling you stories designed to make you feel like shit, because when you feel like shit you stay on-line, and keep doom scrolling. We're divided and our culture, the way we speak to each other it only makes us more divided, we're rubbery and inauthentic.
So I guess, you want hope, get out there and find something you believe in and fight for it, there's a local candidate near you I'm sure you can believe in, a ballot measure, a local group, something, and break the isolation we have to talk again because if we don't, well its already eaten us alive and we're trying to get out of the whale.
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Okay gang, I noticed something super intriguing in my recent weekend rewatch of Dead Boy Detectives!
In Episode 4 when the night nurse goes into Charles' mind there's a consistent detail in his memories that I haven't seen anyone point out: not all of Charles' five schoolmates throw stones at him when he's in the lake.
Two boys are positioned slightly off to the left side of the screen, watching and making no move to stop the others, but they do not directly harm Charles at any point.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/e1ebf8127ff954e232be482c770b4d21/3d24e6bdb330dbd9-86/s540x810/84041a0502f333104212d728565b0282a9a28585.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/4ca68a9fd2ea545af3e3d51083e3ca7f/3d24e6bdb330dbd9-b2/s540x810/8209af01852d982763e9f3a1903ba64070c6c0bc.jpg)
I know this doesn't seem particularly interesting in and of itself, but it quickly becomes more interesting when the Night Nurse asks Charles "What could possibly have made [his] friends turn on [him] like this," and we flash forward to the next memory, a visual response to her question. In this memory, we see Charles standing up to all of his so-called "friends" who are senselessly beating up on a boy from Pakistan and...
Wait - actually, no - not all of his friends...
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/98b2493a6b4920c0546c1024c25d29d3/3d24e6bdb330dbd9-6b/s540x810/83e95eb9fe3e35432873a4e0dd166679f5953d67.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/a9dce468794bb72096d040483085c9d3/3d24e6bdb330dbd9-7d/s540x810/a644a342d8322882b9eb68e4fccd87344640ce86.jpg)
Yet again, two boys have been intentionally set apart from the group and yes, it is the same two boys who stood off to the side and watched Charles be harmed (ultimately killed) in the previous scene. The juxtaposition of these scenes begins to feel even more intentional when the perspective flips and we see the scene how Charles was seeing it, with the passive boys on the left and the boys engaging in violence on the right.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/7a30717c24097e40e94994532428bae6/3d24e6bdb330dbd9-4a/s540x810/3ee20657132c3c68bf215751aac7ca1fa3835199.jpg)
This scene is much brighter so we get a really good look at their faces here, but both of them go through a myriad of facial expressions/reactions in quick succession that are challenging to discern with 100% certainty. But with the blocking for the group being the same in both shots and the roles the boys play being the same in both shots, I feel like this had to be an intentional choice made to convey something implicitly to the audience.
That leaves me to wonder - did these boys know, deep down, that what was happening was wrong? Did they want to resist, walk away, or try to stop the violence like Charles did earlier but felt powerless to do so? It would be remiss of me not to acknowledge how one of the two "passive" boys was black: did that otherness, the same otherness that Charles felt and that boy from Pakistan surely felt, keep him from speaking up out of fear for his own safety (a valid fear, considering what we know).
Whatever the purpose, it's a really sad detail to me. Heartbreaking, actually. Edwin is 100% right when he says that the living are messy, and Crystal is right when she says that she and the boys lost their lives to boys who went too far (hers temporarily in the form of her memories, the boys completely in the form of their literal lives) because that's just it, isn't it? This show is full of moral and ethical conversations surrounding the limitations of labels like "good" and "bad" people; about capability and willingness to change; and about how our actions, whether rooted in good or bad intentions, can lead to unintended or undesired outcomes. Perhaps none of Charles' "friends" believed they would kill Charles that night; perhaps they just wanted to "rough him up" or "teach him a lesson." Perhaps none of Edwin's bullies could have anticipated that the ritual sacrifice "prank" would do anything more than scare a boy they perceived as different, effeminate ("Mary Ann"), and they certainly couldn't have known it would lead to years of torture and suffering in hell for not just Edwin, but for themselves as well. But it doesn't matter, and it doesn't excuse what they did. The boys who stood to the side and watched Charles die, and who watched their fellow "mates" beat on another boy prior to that, may not have thrown a single punch, but it didn't matter - the damage was done. They still were complicit in that violence, and therefore played just as much a role in Charles' death as the boys who were throwing stones and punches. To be alive is to deal with mess, complications, baggage...to insinuate otherwise is to diminish the nuance and intention put into every choice not only in this show, but in some ways, the world at large as well. It may be a small moment, but it struck me as something that said so much without having to explicitly say anything at all. Art is a good mirror on society in this way; it makes us face the reflections of messy, complex characters and situations that we could just as likely find ourselves a part of (maybe as the "good" guy, the vicim; maybe as the "bad" guy, the bully; or maybe as the guys who just... did nothing at all. The ones who watched, who were complicit in the suffering of others for what could be a multitude of selfish or self-preserving reasons).
All that being said, the TLDR here is: considering it's the same two boys who behave the same way in both instances it feels like an intentional detail. I wonder if there's potential for one (or both) of these boys to reappear in Charles' (after)life in the future? They are likely both still alive today, in their 50s, just as Charles would be had he not been murdered. Perhaps one of these boys could die and come to the agency with regrets or unfinished business (directly involving Charles or regarding something unrelated). Maybe Charles will run into them, alive, through a different case or just on the streets of London and be overwhelmed with a sense of "That should be me, too. I should have gotten to live." I imagine he would recognize them, even in older bodies, and it would understandably affect him to have to face anyone who played a role in his death, whether they threw stones or just watched.
Orrrrrrer it could be a totally pointless detail! 😂 I'm always open-minded to the fact that after 30+ rewatches I could be overanalyzing at this point. Either way, it confounds me nonetheless and I so desperately hope we will get to explore Charles' trauma more in season 2 (🤞)... so I thought I would share my thoughts! 🖤
(Last note: please excuse the bad photo quality!! I searched meticulously for the exact screencaps I needed but couldn't find anything, so I just took pictures of my tv screen with my phone lol.)
#dead boy detectives#dbda#charles rowland#edwin payne#crystal palace#dbda analysis#the dead boy detectives#the dead boy detective agency#the night nurse#I'm sorry this is so long I got emotional and needed to share#This show is so important to me I need a season 2 NOW
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music to my ears
just a little rainy day eargasm, as one does.
Rating: E Word Count: >1k Content: 18+, elf ears are erogenous zones, touchless orgasm, ear kissing, ASMR, cream dem jeans
---
Rain patters gently on the roof of the tent, the sound a soothing end to an arduous day. Astarion and Tav lounge together purely for the physical affection of it, her arms encircling his shoulders from behind as he sits between her legs, his back pressed up against her.
He still can't quite believe she's agreed to this. No sex? He's never lived in a world like that. But she not only seems willing, she seems eager to discover a dozen new kinds of intimacy.
As if she senses his train of thought, she puts her lips right up to his ear and says, “This okay?”
He hums and arches, feeling a pleasant tingle spread across his scalp and down the back of his neck.
“Is what okay?”
“Are ears okay?” she whispers.
Another wave of tingles passes over him and he grins lazily. “They’re above the waist, aren’t they?” he responds, leaning to the side to give her better access because hells, it really does feel good.
He can feel her mouth move as she hugs him tighter. “Remember you can always ask me to stop if it gets to be too much.”
He chuckles. “What could you possibly do that could be too-”
But then he’s arching again with a gasp as she runs the tip of her tongue up his antihelix all the way to the tip. The wet warmth sends a wash of pleasure straight through him, filling his chest like bath steam and continuing southward to pool behind his navel. His eyes go half-lidded and he swallows.
“Still okay?” she whispers.
Immediately he nods and says, “Yes. I like that. I like that very much.”
“Good.”
He feels her tongue draw over him again, this time behind his ear from base to tip. Then she uses the blunt edges of her teeth to softly scrape back down the outer ridge and he only barely holds back his whine. It’s soothing and erotic in the same moment, contentment and arousal rising in him like the tide.
Inside his trousers, he feels himself growing hard, and it’s not unwelcome. His feet dig into the ground beneath them as he pushes himself back into her, seeking more contact, pressing his back firmly into her chest, and he feels her grin as she places an open kiss to his ear lobe. Brings it into her mouth, gives it a gentle suck.
“Ah,” he breathes, squirming against her as his cock goes fully hard under her attention.
From her position, her own eyes go lustful and glazed as she looks down the length of his body and sees the ridge of him swell and strain against his clothes. Gently, she brings up one hand to play with his hair as she continues to tease his ear with tooth and tongue.
“Pretty,” she whispers in between. “How pretty you are, going weak under me. Who knew your ears were so sensitive.”
He grips her legs tight to either side of him and bites his lip, trying to clear his head enough to respond. “You’re half-elven,” he gasps. “You know exactly… hah… what you’re doing.”
“I do,” she laughs softly. “And you know I know.”
The stimulation continues to coax the flame in his gut, the tension coiling deliciously, making him shudder to the core. She flicks her tongue over his tragus and swirls it into the triangular dip near the pointed tip and he’s panting, panting, nearly writhing against her, using his heels for leverage to push back. His cock twitches, sensitive and untouched, but he feels a crest building nonetheless.
“Would you like to come, dearest?” she whispers right into the center of his mind and he squeezes his eyes shut and whimpers.
He nods, the movement jerky.
“Then come,” she breathes, giving him a hard nip and then a final soothing, firm lick.
His mouth falls open and he all but collapses against her as his hips arch up off the ground and he creams himself, his spend spilling from him in staccato bursts that feel like a brush on the underside of heaven with every pulse. When he’s done, his muscles go slack and he blinks, bleary-eyed, only mildly annoyed somewhere deep in the back of his brain that he needs to get down to the river in short order to wash the trousers he just soiled.
She squeezes him tightly from behind. “Still okay?” she says softly.
“Hnnnnngggggyeah,” he responds.
#astarion#astarion bg3#astarion smut#astarion x tav#astarion x oc#astarion x f!tav#astarion x female tav#kitten writes
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Something was itching me about Kipperlilly as a character for a while that I couldn't place down but I just got it.
There is so much of a connection between her storyline and the radicalization a white suburban kid can have to something like white supremacy that it's not even that deep, it's surface level.
Think about it:
She has a strong hatred for a minority kid in her school because he's got great grades and is viewed as a hero
She's envious of the hardships he's gone through and starts hating her family for being so 'normal' (a lot of white people can feel angry about their identity and what they think is a lack of a culture because they 'don't feel oppressed enough' to justify their own feelings of unfairness)
She takes all that anger and infects the people around her, hurting them and 'radicalizing' a few others
Is so insistent that this random kid had an unfair start because of his family situation that she wants to permanently change the bylaws in her school so he's put at a crazy disadvantage, just so she feels like she has an upper hand (think of racist people being mad that there's more POC going to college and crying that they're only getting in because they're a minority, ignoring the real work those students put it despite the disadvantages they might have faced)
She doesn't do any self introspection, doesn't decide to put more effort into her grades or personal relations, she takes that hatred and lets it poison her from the inside out. She rants about fairness when she doesn't put the work in and chooses to despise the people that do, just because they're not as miserable as her.
Her guidance counselor doesn't know how to combat that anger because he doesn't agree with her politics, a creepy adult in her life recognizes her hate and takes advantage of it to stir up the flames, we don't even see her parents but it's safe to say they're not exactly involved or watching her.
I don't know, I'm just annoyed because I keep seeing people say 'if you hate Kipperlilly that's just misogyny' as if she is not a genuinely hate-able character.
You can hate a woman for being evil, you're allowed.
And on the whole 'redemption' thing, sure that's entirely possible but let's face it. You cannot force someone to change, that's not how redeeming yourself works, you have to want it. Kipperlilly has no desire to change because she believes she is right. What use is it to her to abandon a worldview that suits desires her so well?
There was no way that could have been covered in an epilogue well enough to justify it and do you really think all the people that had their lives ruined and were literally murdered (Lucy, Oisin, Ivy, Ruben, Mary Ann, Buddy, etc.) would be bending over backwards to check on their killer?
#dimension 20#dropout tv#kipperlilly copperkettle#the rat grinders#rat grinders#fhjy spoilers#fhjy#d20 fhjy#dimension 20 fhjy#fantasy high junior year#d20 fantasy high#fantasy high#rambles#i am white and a woman so i can vouch for this#you have my permission as a woman to not like Kipperlilly#Stop calling misogyny because you like a complex female character#you're allowed to like the villains#some of you did not get her character at all#Also to the people that were genuinly mad TBKs killed any of the RGs#They were actively trying to end the world#They weren't going to hold their actions for a philosophical debate#They were going to kill TBKs
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What are your thoughts on Jane Boleyn, and the role she supposedly played in the fall of 3 Queens (Anne Boleyn, Anna of Cleves, Katheryn Howard)? Do you think she has been too maligned by historians for centuries, especially when it comes to the relationship with the Boleyns (it seems she got along with Anne)?
Now that I've read both works and compared them side by side, I suppose I would say my stance on Jane Boleyn falls somewhere in between that of Julia Fox and James Taffe ('Somewhere in between' is not, btw, Alison Weir); although closer to the former than the latter. Offering critique of both biographies, I would say that of JF is too apologetic (smoothing out wrinkles that exist in her arguments rather than acknowledging them) and JT is too severe.
Especially when it comes to the relationship with the Boleyns? Yes and no. Obviously she was married to George, she sent him a message of comfort while he was in the Tower, and wore only black the rest of her life, which was quite the potent statement. However, I would allow for the possibility that she potentially, inadvertently implicated him or AB (ie, testimony of hers was twisted to suit the crown's case). This is where I think there are flaws in the arguments of some of her defenders-- they cannot allow for even that possibility and so make claims that disallow it; some of which are untrue. 'Jane was only blamed as a means of absolving Henry in the whitewash of Elizabethan propagandists' is not true. Johannes Sleidan in 1545 claimed that Anne and George died by her 'false accusation'. Sleidan was a Reformer, so he would have been more sympathetic towards the plights of these two than the average person, and would have spoken to others that were as well, but the motivation to vindicate Elizabeth did not yet exist; she was at this point the very unlikely third in line to the throne.
I do appreciate that you said 'got along' with Anne, not 'besties', because...it's possible they were very close, certainly, but we must also allow for the possibility of animosity. The linchpin for the argument of closeness is the report from Chapuys that they 'conspired together' to banish Henry's mistress from court. Was this the precise truth? Considering the source I'm doubtful. Probably there was a lady Henry was serving at this time (although that we never have a name makes the story somewhat suppositious), but did they need to have 'conspired together' against her for Jane to be banished from court (which is what happened instead)? Jane might have merely made Anne aware of her, and Henry finding out that she'd been the source would have been enough for banishment. Or, as was presented plausibly in Adrienne Dillard's fictional rendition, Jane might have dropped hints to Cromwell that this mistress was a supporter of the two exiled and contumacious royal women that were Anne's adversaries, Cromwell might have passed this along to Henry, and Henry might have banished Jane for shattering the illusion that this woman had no independent ambitions or ulterior motives and merely let him hit for the sheer pleasure of his company.
If this was evidence of closeness, and it might be, then we also have to remember that the end result was Jane's banishment from court, and that there is, as JT fairly pointed out, no evidence that any of the Boleyns spoke in her defense, favor, or for her return. It would take an extremely magnanimous person to accept all that with equanimity and not feel any resentment whatsoever. So, if there was intimacy, there might have also been rift.
That leaves the question: enough 'rift' for her to seek vengeance? I doubt that much for all the reasons Fox outlines in her biography, but at the same time I wish there was not this relentless push to only defend women that we assert 'deserve' defense, on the premise they were entirely selfless, accepted every insult with grace, never kept any grudges, never had personal ambitions (the actions she took during the queenships of those you mentioned would suggest otherwise), mixed emotions, or conflicting loyalties; that we could acknowledge that acknowledging the agency of historic women also means acknowledging they were capable of making mistakes.
#anon#it feels like an 'overcorrection' to some degree. if that makes sense?#altho that's generally what ppl say about AB too and i generally think they're wrong lol#'waaah AB apologism waaaaahhh joanna denny wahhhhhhhhhhhh h/ayley nolan'#bitch. no one serious is taking those seriously. if joanna denny was the definitive AB bio that would be one thing#the definitive is eric ives who oh no said in his personal opinion that his favorite was more attractive in personality and appearance#than the other...oh my god that is the worst thing anyone has every said in the HISTORY OF TIME#are y'all this sensitive in real life bcus fr.#how do you bitches SURVIVE..................#anyway what i was initially going to say after coming back to this:#*ever#like the way this figure is used to have it both ways really bothers...me?#i think there's some ambiguity here but like#i read someone claim that JS must have been 'so sweet' bcus otherwise JB would not have been her lady in waiting....#which is like. be fr? if JB loved george and anne she would have hated her lol#or at the very least have been uneasy in her presence (there's a great scene with this in adrienne's sequel btw)#but like...idk man. ppl just don't seem to get how humans worked? or have any sort of emotional; media; literal; literacy?#this was my thing with BSR too 'how dare THEY say henry NEVER loved coa how dare THEY say jane was to blame for anne's miscarriage'#like right...were 'they' saying that or was anne? or was that what anne believed? was the show perhaps from her (gasp) POV and so#these things were portrayed? i mean ffs.... by our literal primary sources those were the things she said.#someone's emotions and beliefs /= infallible unassailable entire truths#nor are they necessarily 'fair' and the same with our judgements. welcome to being a human being#so yeah like re: JB....#*that she felt like that? was it entirely fair to blame and resent the seymours?#is that necessarily fair? no. how much she did or didn't was probably dependent on how accurate chapuys report was about JS#the extent to which she had disparaged anne#as for the why as JF theorized ; the need of income and the possibility that since cromwell had helped her with income#this was the favor he wanted in return (so her as a spy in the household)#and re: conflicting loyalties ; i mean ...goddamn; people are complex#i think it's entirely possible that JB loved anne but also had this innate sympathy for coa and mary too.
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Redecorating Your Heart
Melissa Schemmenti x reader
Fluff mostly
Summary: you begin to make changes to Melissa's home, but one year you have a different change in mind
The first time it wasn't as obvious. It was a slight change. You and Melissa had been dating two years prior before she really asked you to just move in. After all, you were never at your apartment.
The first thing you had to change was her couch situation. You understood it and told her multiple times if you moved in, it would be coming off within your first week. She would laugh it off like you were joking, she really believed you were.
But when you moved in, you had a plan. You slowly unfolded parts, knowing that by Friday she'd be so swamped she wouldn't even notice it. And you were right. By Friday she didn't. It took Barbra coming over Monday to realize it.
"Melissa Ann, have you finally come to your senses about your couch?" The older woman beamed as she sat down, her hands running over the soft fabric. "I must say I'm impressed!"
And that's when Melissa looked at you. You were in the kitchen pouring the two wine glasses and grabbing yourself a drink with whiskey.
You had this smile on your face. One she couldn't be mad at, so she sighed in defeat against you. "It was y/n's idea. She has been trying to get it off for awhile now.
That's when you came over glasses in hand and a big, wide smile on. "I won't try and alter anything else...." you trailed off. Both woman gave you a disbelieving look and you could only shrug and hand over their drinks.
You made yourself comfortable next to Melissa as the two talked about anything they needed to. And you would listen, you would give your opinion if asked, or you would sit there and just really listen. Letting your girlfriend's voice carry you off into sleep.
That night though, you stayed up and traced patterns on her thighs as they talked. Following your own finger, you didn't pay much attention to the world around you.
So lost in thought about what she might say to you once Barb leaves. Would she be really mad, or would she let this one go? What if she makes you put it back on yourself? What if she enjoys it off?
There were too many questions that you thought of, and both woman could see it.
"Is she listening?" Barb asked Melissa. Trying not to change her tone to bring you back. Melissa glance to you, and easily shook her head. "You really gonna let her keep the wrapping off?"
Melissa sighed, "honestly? Yeah...if it makes her happy I'm willing to make such a small altering to the house. It is nice fabric, so I'm not really mad. The smile she had when you pointed it out was worth it." She explained simply. It was the truth. If this made you happy, then she saw no harm.
"Melissa Schemmenti, if I didn't know any better I would say you're in love." Barb teased before finishing her glass.
The red head shook her head and finished hers as well. Your drink had been nothing but ice for awhile now. Melissa assumed that's why you were so quiet, you made your drink just a bit to strong.
But once you got up to clean up their glasses, you seemed so fine. Like there wasn't a drop of alcohol in your system. Meanwhile she walked Barbra out.
"She's a sweet one, Melissa. She's good for you and you know it." The friend gave a reassuring hug before walking out to her car.
Once Barb pulled off, Melissa found her way back to you. Wrapping her arms around your waist as you poured her another glass and made yourself another drink.
"Didn't drink too much in that first one?" She teased you quietly, squeezing you before pulling away.
You turned slowly and handed over the glass, "you out of everyone should know I know how to hold my liquor." You bite back with a playful smile. "Mm plus, you and Barb were talking about your field trip that's at the end of the year. What am I to do in a house all alone for a night?" You feigned you boredom.
~
You did know what you were doing that night. You had six months to plan it. After the couch, you had to make her believe you truly weren't going to change anything else....but her bathrooms....
They weren't horrible, but you saw a vision. From the strange orange to a modern grey and marble. And originally it was just going to be the downstairs, but then she had mentioned it just once.
"One day, when I finally have time, I'm going to fix that upstairs bathroom. It's just not in anymore." Her words that you took and ran a mile with it. That's how you got to here.
With the help of your neighbors, who you had met moving in, you had a place to store all the new cabinets.
"And you're sure you'll be ok tonight?" Melissa had her bags by the door as you handed her her purse. "I seriously can have Barb watch my class."
You shook your head and laughed. "Mel, you have been talking about this since school basically started. I will be ok. I'll see you tomorrow afternoon, ok?"
"You can call me if you need anything, I know a guy for almost everything." She reminded you. Staring at you with adoration before reaching out to cup you cheek. "I...." she began and your heart skipped a beat instantly.
You knew she struggled with saying the big word. After her last, she explained how she is still healing but is ready to get out there again.
A understanding smile crept onto your lips. "I know," you whispered nodding slightly. "Go! Have fun sleeping over in a museum." You pushed her hand a way carefully. Leaning in to kiss her once on the lips, and a bunch all over.
She laughed at your antics. "Alrighty, I'll get out of your house. But seriously hun, if you need anything don't be afraid to call."
You bowed and helped her load the car. Giving her one last kiss before she pulled out. You watched her till she turned the corner, and your sweet smile turned devilish in seconds flat.
You bolted back in and wasted no time setting up your music and getting started.
To start, you wanted to get out all the old furniture and get it to the garage. Opening it so you had a nice breeze flowing through the entire house (obviously turning off the air to not rack up the bill).
By eleven, you had most of the street helping you out. The guys building outside as everyone else worked inside. Painting or moving heavier pieces.
It was very neighbor like, and you couldn't help but feel more welcomed than ever within their community.
Then by two, you had several pizza's delivered and sent someone to get drinks. Everyone sitting around in the backyard, enjoying the moment.
"So, what made you decide to do both bathrooms?" Ned, he lived three houses to the right, asked.
His wife, Stephany coming out and sitting next to you. "And why haven't we ever been in your house? It's beautiful."
You shrugged a bit. "Well technically, it's Melissa's house. I moved in with her six months ago. But she complained about the bathrooms just once and I had already planned to redo them. I hated the orange. And she probably had a guy to do this, but I had a vision that I think she'll like. And it looks so much cleaner."
They all agreed with it, especially after they saw your sketches from several angles for each bathroom.
"And you didn't ask her to do this, did you? Just like with the plastic in the couch?" Beth smirked as she put her slice. She was the first one you really met and talked to about your future plans for the house.
You shook your head and everyone laughed. "In my world, it's better to ask for forgiveness than permission. She was never going to take that plastic off and I couldn't stand it either. And I know she can't stay mad at me forever," you stated. A part of you knew that was mostly true, she's never gone over a week not talking to you.
"Well, your plans are very nice and with the speed we're all moving at, once the paint dries we'll be down before nine. And when does she get home?" Hunter questioned, his leg fidgeting under the warm sun. "Seeing as it's a surprise?"
"She's home tomorrow afternoon. The school is doing an overnight field trip so it was perfectly planned out. It's also why I could give everyone a set date to take off. Which I thank you all for helping me with this project. I truly couldn't have gotten even an eight of this all done on my own." Everyone raised their glass and talked a little more.
Eventually, by nine, everything was finished. The light fixtures were switched out, water was running smoothly through all faucets, and you were pleased.
Now it was just you laying on the floor after a long day of work. You had just sent out another thank you to everyone who helped. That's when your phone began to ring. Melissa's contact popping up.
"Well look who isn't dead," she spoke so quietly. You assumed all the kids were asleep and it was just her awake in another room. Somewhere where she could keep her eyes on her little eagles. "I haven't heard from you all day..."
"I've been a very busy bee today. But you have my full, undivided attention. How was your field trip?" You hummed your interest.
And you listened to every word she said to you. Never moving from your spot or focusing on anything else. It was just time to talk to your girlfriend.
Although, it was two different girlfriends once she got home. You were upstairs in the shower, enjoying the feeling of the new shower head. It was you in your thoughts until you felt hands sneak around your waist.
You jumped, and screamed, but laughed it off once you spun to see your beauty. "Mel!" You beamed so wide. "You have got to feel this new shower head!" You made quick work to put her back under the water. Watching her face contort, then relaxing.
"And I see you've redone the bathrooms?" She moved her head to the side, letting the water massage her neck.
You couldn't help yourself when you placed kisses over her exposed skin. "Do you like it?" You asked in between. Your touch being featherlight as you ran your hands over her body.
She hummed with a knowing smile, "you keep redoing my house without asking...." she tried to sound mad.
"But aren't I good at it?" You had a lewd undertone. "Admit it Mel..."
You could almost hear her mental fight to keep her ground, but that undertone had her ready to cave. She had to say though...you knew how to remodel a room. "Fine..." she felt your smile grow on her and she swore to never forget that feeling.
~
You lived with her for a year now, been dating for three. Today you had shown up to Abbott and it was almost summer again. And the rumors were that this was supposed to be the hottest summer on record.
It already was, and you had spent it very wisely. You had done a little summer shopping and tanning before the real summer.
"Hello sunshine!" You skipped into the teachers lounge. Catching everyone by surprise, but Melissa and Barb smiled at you and the lunch you brought them. "Here is your lunch! The weather is beautiful outside!" You took the seat next to Melissa, placing a kiss to her cheek.
"Now what did you do? What new alter did you make to our house?" Melissa laughed, really joking but you didn't laugh or fake being hurt. "Oh my, seriously now what? What am I going to come home and find?"
You looked to Barb for a second, hoping she would give any sign on Melissa's mood, then back to her. "Your backyard....was very bland. Empty. There was so much space and it's the hottest summer. You've been busy all week finishing up school and I figured come summer you would love to relax. And we don't have any trips planned, and it'd be a great way to know your neighbors-,"
"The same neighbors you let in to redo the bathrooms?" She quirked an eye brow at you.
"Yes those ones! They've been dying to meet you ever since the bathrooms." You strayed from the main point. "But! Back to my new thing that I have to tell you before you see since it was a bit more major."
"Did you redo the kitchen?!" She gasped, worried for her cookings future. Feeling relieved when your head shook.
"Although that wouldn't be bad! It could use a new coloring...the whole downstairs could use a makeover..." once again you side tracked, going quiet as your vision started planning itself.
Melissa knew that look now, she'd be a fool to miss it three times now. "You leave the downstairs alone, ya' hear? Now what is this new addition?"
You beamed at the mention and leaned in close to her ear. The room assumed it was something so bad as Melissa put her head in her hands but you had a wide, toothy grin still.
"It'll be fun! We can sit by the side and get some sun. Itll give us a reason to have people over more as well, you'll have more mouths to feed. Which means you'll get to cook more." You began to list out the pros.
Melissa rolled her head to look at Barb, who just laughed at her friends reaction. "And what was the alter that has been made?" Barb looked to you, curious to know herself.
"She got a pool," Melissa huffed. "How did you even get it approved? Let alone the money?" She didn't know how to feel about this anymore.
"Well, I talked to the Stephany about who I should talk to and she said to find someone in the committee hall who would know about all that. Once that was sorted it out it was a matter of numbers. And while you were busy being an amazing teacher, I published another book. The first week of selling I managed to afford it." The smile that never left your face as you talked about your accomplishment made her feel warm.
She couldn't be mad. She knew she couldn't be. Just looking at you and she couldn't. She knew it was dangerous, but you also never did anything to make her have to be.
"Do you have any pictures? How'd you even hide that much construction?" She sighed, sitting up and folding her arms.
Barb looked taken aback by how calm the woman was. She knew how much Melissa hated people changing her space, but here you are. Making home renovations without a care in the world. And how the red head watched you with such intent as you showed it off. It was beautiful to say the least. You were what her friend needed more than anything.
"It'll be an amazing summer!" You got giddy at the thought of the next three months. "And, so you really can't be mad, I also added a little kitchen area. So you can cook outside and I can watch you while enjoying the sun. We'll be the talk of the neighbor hood."
Melissa laughed and shook her head. "I guess you weighed your pros over your cons heavily, haven't you?" You nodded proudly. "Well then I guess we have to put it to use soon. We'll have a book premier party for you. Since you live in secret from me." She teased.
"Oh Melli, you know I could never live in secret from you. I only work in secret, it's when I do my best work." She kissed her cheek before standing up. "I have to go though, I have shopping to do."
Barb and Melissa bid you goodbyes, watching you skip out into the soon-to-be summer day. "You're in love," Barb laughed with so much joy.
"I'm in love," Melissa confessed. "A pool?"
"Melissa let someone get a pool?" Ava came in, a knowing look on her face. "Gonna be a hot summer. She's gonna be in a bikini most of the time." Ave painted the picture, getting a look from Melissa. "I'm just saying. You're gonna definetly have a fun summer." She pointed with a head bob. "Does that mean you'll be havin' pool parties with your famous cooking?"
That caught everyone's attention a bit more. "If she plans one and lets me invite anyone, then I'll consider." She put out, "but that doesn't mean a yes."
Ava stood with a shinning smile, "that's all I need to hear!" She left the lounge satisfied.
Meanwhile everyone else took the chance to make small jabs at Melissa for actually being a softy. But it was worth it once she came home.
You laid in the back on a big heart floaty in a casual white two piece. You were spread out and enjoying the sun that was shining brightly.
Melissa thought you looked so peaceful. And she hated to admit it again, the backyard looked nice with the addition.
She figured, it's been a long day, joining you couldn't hurt. So she, without alarming you she was home, went to change into a swimsuit as well. Realizing this would be the first time you see her in one. It made her nerves shake a bit, but you've seen her naked...a swimsuit isn't any different, right?
She carefully got in, but before she could scare you, you spoke. "Took you long enough to change." You rolled onto your stomach and opened your eyes. Your lips softly curling up. "The next alter I make I'll let you in on it, promise." You hummed.
Melissa shook her head as she rested on the side of your floaty. "Don't. I like when you talk about them. You always have a different happiness radiating off of you. You take pride in your work. It's one of the things I love about you." She spoke so smoothly.
The words didn't click at first for you, truly you didn't think them twice till she said 'love'. "Really? You don't hate that I'm slowly taking over your house and altering it?"
Melissa chuckled, "of course not, hun. If I did I would've expressed my anger for it. But because I love you I'm willing to accept these changes. Plus you make them look nice, so I can't complain." She shrugged, but laughed when you started kissing all over her face.
"Oh! I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you!" You repeated with pure joy as you couldn't stop laughing and kissing her face. "You don't know how pleased I am to hear those words!"
Melissa laughed at your antics again, "if I knew you would react like this I would've realized sooner."
"Oh God, Melissa! I've been in love with you since the first date, you were just so wonderful the first night that I knew I wanted to do right. I want to be with you forever, and I will die on that hill." You confided. Knowing you could go on explaining how much you loved her.
This time, she leaned to you. Kissing you passionately as she could. "It's a good hill to die on," she cockily mumbled. To which you pushed her off your floaty. "But are there any more surprises you have for me?"
You pretended to think, "we're going to Italy the day you get off for a week and a half. As our first vacation together." You played it down, getting pushed off your floaty now. "I thought it would've been good!"
~
It had been another year. You and Melissa had just celebrated four years, and she joked you would find something in the home to change now that it's been awhile.
She was right, which she wasn't surprised about, but was shocked with how big it was. She had come home from work to cars all down the street and the front door opened.
When she walked in, she was shocked to see her cousin that lived close by in the living room. It was an unexpected sight but she came back to reality when he hugged her.
"Is it really that much of a shock I'm here?" He joked, especially with how hesitant Melissa was to hug back.
"Where's...what?" She looked all around. Vinny finding her reaction hilarious.
That's when you came and hugged her from behind, the force you had pushing you both forward. "You're home!" You cheered. "You can't leave me for a week ever again!"
"You were allowed to come with!" She laughed. "But what is all this? Why is my cousin here?"
You looked behind her at Vinny, acting confused. "Your cousin is here?! I finally get to meet another of the Schemmenti's!" You went and hugged him like you w never met. Turning back to Melissa with a smile after, "I have a surprise for you."
"Of course you do," she shook her head with a sigh. "What is it this time?"
"The upstairs and basement." You came right out with it. Her mouth opened to say something, "before you say anything. Look first. Start with upstairs and then go down."
And you stood still as she did go upstairs. When she came down she had an unreadable look but was out of her work clothes. She walked down, this time you followed.
The basement you designed specifically for her. It was dim lit with a fancy poker table with chairs surrounding it. Over was a mini bar with a wine storage all across the wall. It was a nice wood flooring. A small lounge section on the other side.
Melissa, flicked the lights on and nearly had a heart attack. Her family was all in the basement with smiles. She turned to you, tears brimming her eyes as she saw relatives she hadn't seen in ages.
"What is all this?" She whispered, so stunned that you could pull this off. You weren't even introduced to her family yet.
You shrugged, "you worked extremely hard this year with two grades. I figured that after a long year of late nights and early mornings, you could use something good. Soo, I did a little sleuthing and found Vinny, who lived in the city. He helped me, after having to really prove that I was your girlfriend, get the rest of your family in. That's why I hadn't made any alters to the house. I wanted to go big and give you a surprise."
She hugged you tightly, "you're beyond amazing hun." She cried before going to greet everyone.
You watched from afar, not wanting to intervene into her moment. You were about to slip away, until Vinny appeared behind you. "Nah, you're all apart of this family. No matter what happens, nobody's ever gone this far for her. You must really love her." He pushed you towards the group.
Your cheeks became warm, "you have no idea." Was all you got out before Melissa grabbed your hand.
She stood next to you while holding your arm, "everyone, I wish I got to do the introduction, but this is Y/n, my girlfriend of four years." She beamed proudly and shoved you into the group. Laughing as you got bombarded with hugs and kisses to your cheek.
Later, everyone was in the kitchen cooking while laughter filled the air. Meanwhile you sat back and let Nana tell her all the stories of Melissa she could think of.
"So, four years is a long time to keep someone like her a secret." Rocco mentioned, glancing up to his cousin. "I mean I get a text from Vinny saying she's redoing the upstairs and downstairs while you're gone, then poof! She's on the couch making Nana laugh. Just saying if I was you, I would've been showing her off easily."
Melissa shook her head at the comment, "youse just mad I have a keeper that you can't get to again." She poked back. A smirk on her lips as she switch to look at you and Nana. "It's been awhile since Nana has ever welcomed anyone like this..."
Vinny came over with the bowl of uncooked noodles. "It's cause she cares for your happiness. Y/n. I wouldn't know anyone who would fly everyone in."
"She paid for everyone?" Melissa furrowed her brows, now focusing on you and Nana.
"Told you she cared." Vinny's voice faded back as Melissa thought deeply. She had no clue what you were talking about, but you looked overjoy at whatever answer you were given.
She whipped her hands off and pulled off her apron. Walking over carefully to not alarm you both but to still hear.
"...I promise." You swore, turning to look at your girlfriend. You wore a goofy smile that couldn't be shaken. "Melli!" You cheered.
"Can I talk to you for a sec hun?" She offered her hand. Pleased when you took it and followed her out back, away from all ears. "You flew everyone out?"
"I needed help." You said as if there wasn't people closer to call. "I don't see what the big deal is."
Melissa squinted her eyes at you. "What are you up to?" She raised the question, which only got her a toothy grin in answer. "Whatever it is, it better not be the kitchen."
"When we're married and you can't escape me I'll do the kitchen." You playfully mentioned. Laughing at how her eyes widened a bit at the mention. You walked inside after placing a caring kiss to her cheek, rejoining her family and helping out.
Melissa stood and watched, her cheeks flushed, and her heart pounding. You wanted to marry her?
~
You had this smile you couldn't wipe as you waltzed into Abbott. You almost glowed with how excited you were to see your girlfriend of five years. And five was your luckiest of numbers, so it had to be this summer.
"Nope. Another year without an alter to the house. So this year has to be bigger than last year and I'm thinking it's the kitchen she's after next." Melissa's voice rang in the room, clearly you were already a topic.
Once you turned the corner, Melissa sighed. "Oh you know you're excited to see me!" You joked as you plopped into her lap, arms naturally around her neck. "I have wonderful news for you!"
She looked to Barb, and she just smiled and sipped her coffee. It was a reaction that was all to familiar. She knew something Melissa didn't.
"Is that your reason for showing up?" Melissa pinched your thigh playfully. Watching your smile drop into a fake frown.
You let out a little sigh, "I'd come here to see your beautiful face any day. With or without amazing news. But you'll like it. When was the last time you went to Italy anyways?" You causally let out, hoping she wouldn't notice it at first.
But Melissa hung on to every word you've said for the past five years. "Italy?" She whispered with furrowed brows. "You're taking me to Italy? Why? How? When?"
"Well! I'm glad you're already along for the ride! Since your last day happens to be today, our plane leaves at nine tonight. I figured you would want to start your summer off right." You explained. An award winning smile for best girlfriend plastered on your face.
Melissa would've argued with you, saying that you can't plan a trip so short notice and give her no time for any proper packing.
"I can see it on your face, most of your basics are already together, I've packed your makeup the way you like, the only thing is clothes. Now if we had it my way...." you smirked down at her. Watching a subtle blush wash her cheeks. "But unfortunately we can't, so we're going shopping once you're done."
She knew there was no out. You already had it all planned and she knew it. "I'm done in an hour..." she whispered.
Melissa stared at you in wonder. Not knowing what she did to deserve you and your gifts. She adored you and it wasn't said enough. But you, you knew how to express it in every way. You would hold her if she had a bad day, cook if she couldn't, kept the house clean, made sure she never had to worry once she came home. You were her everything.
You kissed her softly, but with so much passion. "I'll go grab us food now then," you got up. Lingering around her just a second longer than usual. "I'll see you later, Melli."
"Bye, hun..." she watched you leave until she couldn't. She leaned back and just thought of the trip. She was going to Italy.
Meanwhile you were making the trip to her favorite food joint. Smiling when they had the order down before you even got to the counter.
"So...it's been what five years?" Pete checked you out. He seen you enough times with the red head to remember who you were. "Either of you making an official move?"
You smiled at the thought. "Who knows. If it's in our cards, I'm sure it'll happen. I can dream big though."
But you knew the miracle that would work. You knew Melissa better than anyone (except for Barb). Spoiling her while shopping was only the start.
~
"How long are we even staying? Where are we staying? Oh! I can show you all my families favorite places!" She got excited as you led through the mall.
She didn't expect you to stop outside of designer stores though. Her eyes falling to you with large dose of curiosity.
"No..." she caught your smile. Watching in slow motion as your hand opened the door and let her in. "Hun this is too much, we can go to somewhere simpler."
You sighed and walked in past her. "It's my treat. For all that you've done, this is how I can express my love for you. Spoiling you is only a minor expression. So! Melissa Schemmenti, let loose."
And she did. That woman knew how to shop for a new wardrobe. You were simply there for paying and carrying. Giving her the ultimate freedom to look everywhere. Her smile as every time she hit the checkout, it grew a little wider. This was the life she was destined to live and here you were providing it.
After a few hours of running in and out, you came up to the last store. Her favorite shoe store that she can only dream to buy from. "No. This is where I have to stop you. Those shoes are like a thousand dollars. A pair."
"Well it's a good thing you don't really get much of a choice. I'm picking up an order anyways. Take advantage of this moment Melli." You opened the door for her. Sighing when she didn't move. "Melissa. Come on."
"No. I can't let you spend that much on me on shoes." She stood her ground. In her mind you would've sighed and given up trying and you'd leave.
But you shrugged and went in anyways. Letting her watch the entire transaction as they handed you another bag. She was shocked that you actually had a pick up. Becoming even more shocked as they handed you two more. They weren't small bags either, each maybe having three pairs.
When you came out, you shook your hair back and started walking towards the car. "I seriously don't see why you didn't come in. I already got you the shoes but you could've gotten more." Melissa mumbled something as they walked. You didn't think twice when you spun around, standing just ever so slightly taller than her. "What?" You had a certain glint.
"I said, you're up to something." She stood her ground. Arms folding and pushing up her boobs a bit.
You stared at her with an undecipherable look now. Then you just resumed walking. Leading the way back to the car.
The silence killed Melissa. It left her with too much time to think of what you could be up to. Even when packing everything up, you stayed silent.
You could hear her wondering thoughts. How she would watch you for a few seconds before continuing.
"You really that suspicious of me, Melli?" You came up to her. "You think there something more to this don't you?"
She huffed and rubbed her face, "it's just...you spent a lot of money and planned an entire trip to Italy without once mentioning it. You usually slip up or hint once at everything you do. And I haven't heard a hint for Italy ever. So what? What is the catch?"
You grabbed her hands, "we have been dating for five years. We haven't gotten away to somewhere ever. And I like the number five so I figured our fifth anniversary should be special for that matter. Italy will be a trip you remember."
Her eyes squinted at you, searching for any dishonesty. "There's more."
You only smiled wider. "Fine! We're meeting your family there. I was gonna have them pick us up as a surprise but it's been secret for so long and now it's here." She spoke quickly.
Her green eyes widen with shock. "Seriously?" There was a nod. Followed quickly by a hug. "I don't know what to say..."
"Just enjoy your time there, that's all I can ask of you." You kissed her sweetly. "Now we finish packing and then we're off!"
~
School had begun again. It was a few weeks in when you made your first appearance. "No, she didn't ever make that alter to the house. I truly think she's looking for another house to decorate." Melissa was talking to Barbra.
You scoffed as you walked in. "Melissa Schemmenti, are you dissing my name in here?" You came in, few envelopes in hand. You took the seat next to the red head and kissed her cheek.
"It's nice to see you, Y/n. How's the house? It's been a year since the last change?" Barb joked, using the conversation from a few seconds prior.
You beamed and shook your head. "I actually have a different alter in mind recently!" And that's when you slid the white envelope over. The sage green wax seal dawning one side, as the other had The Howard's written in cursive.
Both you and Melissa watched as she carefully opened it. Her gasp catching everyone's attention now. She glanced up, eyes wide as she finally noticed the ring.
"But you said..." she was speechless.
Melissa bobbed her head, "that it would only take a miracle for me to get married again. Yes, I did. But if you saw what this one did, you would've been a fool to say no."
"How? What?" The friend was still confused at this news.
You perked up as Melissa sat back, knowing her fiancé was going to tell it better. And for the entire lunch period, everyone listened as you explained the night in such detail.
"And that's how I got the Melissa Schemmenti to say yes to marrying me." You concluded. You found Melissa's eyes. "And there is not a single thing I won't do for her."
You shared a soft kiss with her. Both parting with subtle smiles that meant more than they let on. "But, save the date. March 7th. It's a Saturday. I have to go meet with the planner though, I'll see you at home."
A quick kiss and then you were gone. Melissa left with her confused coworkers.
"So..." Janine began. Looking at the other envelopes in front of Melissa.
She sighed but couldn't lie, she knew who's invites they were and she wouldn't want anyone else. "You are all invited, don't worry." She stood up to hand them all out.
"Melissa Schemmenti, you feel deeply in love." Barbra was rereading the invite. A pleased look that her friend was finally getting someone who loved her the way she loved them.
And you were that person from the very start.
#reader insert#abbot elementary#fanfic#melissa x reader#melissa schemmenti x reader#melissa schemmenti
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"It's so unfair to the Rat Grinders that they are killed instantly and the Bad Kids get to roll death saves." SHUT UUUUUUUUUUUUP
THIS IS LONG, AND HONESTLY FOR MYSELF, SO YEAH READ IF YOU WANT
I swear to god, this discourse is going to fucking be the end of me. Idk what kind of mind boggling spell Brennan Lee Mulligan wove into the fabric of the universe that spread through the data center of Dropout in order to absolutely hijack y'all's brains when it comes to Cocklord Assgape and her ragtag of character foils but whatever it was has made you Rat Grinder stans INSUFFERABLE in this site.
The levels of treating fictional characters as if they were real people have reached a level I honestly have never anticipated, to the point of y'all actually being mad AT THE CAST for "mistreating" them and ACTUALLY QUESTION BRENNAN'S CAPACITY TO DM. Do you not get how fucking insane that is?
We can't make fun of Copperkettle, one of the most pathetic, petty and incompetent villains in D20 history anymore (even though she is masterfully written and developed to generate this reaction from us) anymore because it's bullying apparently. I saw an account flip the fuck out because someone compared her rivalry with Kristen to Drake and Kendrick's beef. KIPPERLILY IS NOT A REAL GIRL. SHE IS A MAKE BELIEVE CHARACTER IN AN IMPROV SHOW SPAWNED FROM THE BRAIN OF A 36 YEAR OLD MAN
And then what truly pissed me off the MOST about this whole hell is the fact that, being chronically online avid consumers of this goddamn show, I would think you would have but a grasp of the main cast of characters' characterization.
Why the uproar about Riz saying they should chop Oisin's head off? The same Riz who tortured that pixie from Freshman year by shooting off their finger one by one? The same Riz who murked a disarmed and unconscious Coach Daybreak without battin an eye? The same Riz who ATE THE CORPSE OF KALVAXUS?
And the whole Fabian vs Ivy debacle MY GOD, THE GIRL WAS RACIST TO HIS GIRLFRIEND AND USED HER LAST BREATH TO CALL MAZEY "OBJECTIVELY UGLY". And the funniest thing is that is not even the most unhinged shit he has ever said.
And finally, Death Save Gate: THE RAT GRINDERS ARE NOT PLAYER CHARACTERS. THEY ARE NPCS! THE RULES FOR EACH WORK DIFFERENTLY, ESPECIALLY THEM BEING BOSS ENCOUNTERS. Imagine having to still hit Ivy or Oisin 2 more times to kill them when there is 14 foot tall Porter throwing legendary actions left and right, with Jace, and other 3 spell casters + Mary Ann and KLCK up and running. It's called balancing the fucking game. Also, game masters are entitled to break, mold and make up any rules they want if they find necessary in order to service themselves and their players. IF YOU PLAY WITH ALL THESE RULES AS THEY COME, GOOD FOR YOU AND YOUR TABLE. THIS IS NOT YOUR TABLE.
Not only is Brennan DMing for his CLOSEST FRIENDS EVER, he is also shooting and producing an ENTIRE TV SHOW. So yeah, i think he knows wtf he is doing.
"But the Ratgrinders had no real development": True. But it wasn't for lack of trying from the players. Everytime they tried to know more, the dice didn't let them, so they decided to focus on the mystery. It simply do be like that sometimes.
"But they are just kids!": And so were Penelope, Dayne, Ragh, Zayn, the Bloodrush Players, Aelwyn and Biz. Why wasn't it a problem then? Because most of them were evil to some extent and were about to bring the fucking apocalypse to the world? Yeah, sounds familiar right? And the ones who were manipulated or had any sort of redemption worked their way into earning it, right? Yeah.
In conclusion, I fucking love the Rat Grinders, I truly do, and not unlike 90% of this website, i'm still holding on to hope that they have any sort of development and redemption in the last episode, because I agree, they ARE children and they WERE manipulated by Porter and Jace, but like, can we also agree that they are fucking assholes and had it fucking coming? Also, the BKs are children too y'know. SO STOP BEING FUCKING ANNOYING.
#brennan lee mulligan#dimension20#dimension 20#fantasy high#d20 fantasy high#fantasy high junior year#fantasy high spoilers#rat grinders#d20 fhjy#d20#dimension 20 fantasy high#kipperlilly copperkettle#ivy embra#oisin hakinvar#dimension20 spoilers#ruben hopclap#mary ann skuttle#konic0 rant
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/404e56f0d5a69b62c7b6c247a1896f9f/e71d7becf5f381c0-6c/s500x750/7cae76afb931fbbb06c7c5f8a2c1322eb40e2b8d.jpg)
LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN
January 19, 2025
Heather Cox Richardson
Jan 19, 2025
You hear sometimes, now that we know the sordid details of the lives of some of our leading figures, that America has no heroes left.
When I was writing a book about the Wounded Knee Massacre, where heroism was pretty thin on the ground, I gave that a lot of thought. And I came to believe that heroism is neither being perfect, nor doing something spectacular. In fact, it’s just the opposite: it’s regular, flawed human beings choosing to put others before themselves, even at great cost, even if no one will ever know, even as they realize the walls might be closing in around them.
It means sitting down the night before D-Day and writing a letter praising the troops and taking all the blame for the next day’s failure upon yourself in case things went wrong, as General Dwight D. Eisenhower did.
It means writing in your diary that you “still believe that people are really good at heart,” even while you are hiding in an attic from the men who are soon going to kill you, as Anne Frank did.
It means signing your name to the bottom of the Declaration of Independence in bold print, even though you know you are signing your own death warrant should the British capture you, as John Hancock did.
It means defending your people’s right to practice a religion you don’t share, even though you know you are becoming a dangerously visible target, as Sitting Bull did.
Sometimes it just means sitting down, even when you are told to stand up, as Rosa Parks did.
None of those people woke up one morning and said to themselves that they were about to do something heroic. It’s just that when they had to, they did what was right.
On April 3, 1968, the night before the Reverend Doctor Martin Luther King Jr. was assassinated by a white supremacist, he gave a speech in support of sanitation workers in Memphis, Tennessee. Since 1966, King had tried to broaden the Civil Rights Movement for racial equality into a larger movement for economic justice. He joined the sanitation workers in Memphis, who were on strike after years of bad pay and such dangerous conditions that two men had been crushed to death in garbage compactors.
After his friend Ralph Abernathy introduced him to the crowd, King had something to say about heroes: “As I listened to Ralph Abernathy and his eloquent and generous introduction and then thought about myself, I wondered who he was talking about.”
Dr. King told the audience that if God had let him choose any era in which to live, he would have chosen the one in which he had landed. “Now, that’s a strange statement to make,” King went on, “because the world is all messed up. The nation is sick. Trouble is in the land; confusion all around…. But I know, somehow, that only when it is dark enough, can you see the stars.” Dr. King said that he felt blessed to live in an era when people had finally woken up and were working together for freedom and economic justice.
He knew he was in danger as he worked for a racially and economically just America. “I don’t know what will happen now. We’ve got some difficult days ahead. But it doesn’t matter…because I’ve been to the mountaintop…. Like anybody, I would like to live a long life…. But I’m not concerned about that now. I just want to do God’s will. And He’s allowed me to go up to the mountain. And I’ve looked over. And I’ve seen the promised land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people, will get to the promised land!”
People are wrong to say that we have no heroes left.
Just as they have always been, they are all around us, choosing to do the right thing, no matter what.
Wishing you all a day of peace for Martin Luther King Jr. Day 2025.
LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN
HEATHER COX RICHARDSON
#Heather Cox Richardson#Letters From An American#heroes#history#Martin Luther King Jr. Day#Martin Luther King Jr.#MLK
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Reminder that at the end of Persuasion, Anne says she was right to break her engagement to Wentworth and he agrees:
with regard to myself; and I must believe that I was right, [to break the engagement] much as I suffered from it, that I was perfectly right in being guided by the friend whom you will love better than you do now. To me, she was in the place of a parent [we know there is a strong respect/deference for parents in Austen's era]. Do not mistake me, however. I am not saying that she did not err in her advice. It was, perhaps, one of those cases in which advice is good or bad only as the event decides [ie: if you died like Fanny Harville or got wounded like Captain Harville, we might all think differently, hindsight is 20/20]; and for myself, I certainly never should, in any circumstance of tolerable similarity, give such advice [because I've become ROMANTIC!]. But I mean, that I was right in submitting to her, and that if I had done otherwise, I should have suffered more in continuing the engagement than I did even in giving it up, because I should have suffered in my conscience. I have now, as far as such a sentiment is allowable in human nature, nothing to reproach myself with; and if I mistake not, a strong sense of duty is no bad part of a woman's portion. [her duty to her family must be balanced against her duty to her husband]"
And then Wentworth shifts the blame to himself:
"Good God!" he cried, "you would! It is not that I did not think of it, or desire it, as what could alone crown all my other success; but I was proud, too proud to ask again. I did not understand you. I shut my eyes, and would not understand you, or do you justice. This is a recollection which ought to make me forgive every one sooner than myself. Six years of separation and suffering might have been spared. It is a sort of pain, too, which is new to me. I have been used to the gratification of believing myself to earn every blessing that I enjoyed. I have valued myself on honourable toils and just rewards. Like other great men under reverses," he added, with a smile. "I must endeavour to subdue my mind to my fortune. I must learn to brook being happier than I deserve."
They both perhaps were at fault (I wish we knew exactly what Anne said when they broke up), but it was the right decision.
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