#like really bad like I actually got angry because this wasn’t roleplay

[vergilthelibrarian]

No cap, some of y’all are like genuine sex addicts but instead of trying to find healthy coping skills, y’all instead become sex pests and then wonder why no one irl understands you. Like I suffer from hypersexuality too and that shit is not fun. It’s exhausting and has put me into many dangerous situations that yeah, it sounds hot when it’s consensual but it’s actually traumatizing and painful to experience when it’s not

Like a lot of y’all on here wanna talk about kink when it is extremely obviously that y’all do not participate in real life kink spaces because unironically saying incest is beautiful would get you criticized heavily and maybe even banned in actual kink spaces if you are deemed a predator. A lot of y’all really need to stop being a bunch of porn brained recluses and learn about kink because it is clear that y’all don’t understand what kink is and at this point it actually pisses me off when y’all parade around like y’all do

Just like, being someone who’s into some pretty dark kinks while also being a victim of sexual violence since childhood from not only my male relatives but from my sister’s boyfriend, my classmates, strangers, relationships, like constantly being the victim of sexual violence (even to this day) and genuinely being into kink is a struggle because even though irl kink spaces are pretty chill and understanding, online “kink spaces” tend to be filled with a bunch of weird musty looking losers who, if it weren’t for the laws of the land, would be actual sexual predators (if they’re not already one that is)

Like yeah, kill the purity cop in your mind but don’t lose your g-ddamn morals in the process

[34saveme34]

[h

hi guys

I cannot repent. there will be a chapter 2

word count: 1693]

Mario and Meme Gayms - chap 1 (Marware)

The electricity came back on. The crew finally took note of him. And man, if he didn’t have fun watching those fools scared! He was especially captured by Mario’s insanity really coming out. It was something special. He knew that even from back at the casino but it really shined today. Although he… didn’t think the man would get that close to him… He couldn’t have guessed that the TV was his last string. He did appreciate the sacrifice though. It felt romantic in a cruel and ugly way. Your brother to someone who caused you so much pain? Oh, the betrayal! The emotions! Truly, he was made for the best possible show. He should… lure him to his side. If just a simple obsession could make him that way, he wondered what would happen if he got Mario on his side…

The crew went back up after getting back the electricity and reacting to his head, shrugging it off. Mario was the last one to leave. Oh! This was his perfect chance! Although, he still felt that talking to him directly didn’t make sense just yet. He could easily mess it up. Instead… he chose to play a very special video for Mario. It… caught his attention. Mario curiously watched the TV, as if slowly sliding closer until he grabbed the sides of it with both of his hands. It was a bit too close for his liking but he had to keep his cool. 

The commercial had a code for a rare skin on Roblox… Mario reacted delightfully, immediately scribbling down the code to his best ability. He wasn’t able to read well but he could still recognise the symbols. Mario immediately ran back up, jumping with joy.

“Mario is gonna get so many friends!!” That was the last he heard of the man, for now at least. He retrieved his head, putting it back on his body. It wasn’t his favourite stunt but it did help him in getting around. He couldn’t stand around any longer, as he went further in the dark. There was still much to set up before he could consider Mario his… Well his like, servant? Team mate? There really wasn’t much else to it… even if he was intrigued… 

Mario sat by SMG4’s computer, speedrunning logging on Roblox. He NEEDED the skin. He was grinning wide. It took him a while to figure out how to use it, considering no one was ever so generous to give him like this. Although the layout for the code didn’t exactly feel… right. Mario was too invested in the rare skin to care though. 

He got it on and immediately went into a roleplay game. People immediately took notice of him, something he didn’t think would happen. He was getting more and more friendship requests with each second passing. It was quite overwhelming but Mario could take it. He took it with his full chest, screaming. He got invited to games, he had fun. Everyone was so nice to him. It was perfect. Even games that would usually make him rage were fun because as soon as he felt bad or angry, he got comforted. It was so perfect. He never wanted to leave.

SMG4 came into the room, seeing Mario eagerly play at his computer.

“Hey, Mario, how long are you still playing? I wanted to make some m-”

“Mario’s busy!!!”

“Dude…” 4 crossed his arms, sighing. He walked up to Mario and grabbed him, trying to pull him away from the computer. It was no use, as if he was….

“Mario? Can’t you just… let me use MY computer?” he was frustrated.

“Mario’s busy!!!” he repeated like before, though insanity peaked through his voice. 4 was a tad bit worried about that.

“C’mon, Mario, there’s many games you can play, actually Tari wanted to-”

“Mario can’t!!! He’s glued here!!!” 

4 was confused, until he looked down, seeing that Mario indeed glued himself on the chair. He sighed, even more frustrated.

He couldn’t keep it in himself, he used all his strength to push Mario away from the computer, sending him along with the chair on his ass. He went flying across the room. But Mario got up and… didn’t look happy at all. He stared at 4 for a bit, visibly shaking, eye twitching. 4 was starting to get scared now.

“Man, quit it- this- this isn’t you!”

“YOU DISTURBED MARIO’S AWESOME ROBLOX ADVENTURES, NOW YOU MUST DIE” Mario lunged at him like a predator. 4 dodged him, running out of the room. He wasn’t followed.

He peaked back inside after a bit, seeing Mario sat back in front of the computer, enjoying the game as if nothing happened. This scared 4. He left, not knowing what to do. 

It had been days. The others tried to get to Mario but all of them had to quickly escape the same way 4 had to. Because of this, 4 wasn’t able to stay in his room either, using the gaming room instead until 3 offered that he could stay at his. 

One day, 3 tried again, stepping in the room, weapons ready with him and the others to cover and help in case something happened. However, as soon as the door was opened, the room was empty. The screen was the only light source with static. Mario was nowhere.

This worried everyone as they explored the room several times but didn’t find anything.

Until 3 thought of something.

“Wait the ca… umm” he immediately stopped, remembering that it’s… not exactly the best thing to be proud of.

“The what?” he was questioned. Everyone was questioning him. He was sweating bullets. Oh he was NOT having a good time. He had to collect himself together.

“Well… so, I… ever since the castle sank, I was scared something similar could happen to 4 again so I put a camera in here to make sure-”

“You did what???” 4 looked at him pale “You… didn’t see when I…?”

“Yes, I did. Sorry” 3 turned away. It seemed neither wanted to elaborate although the others were left questioning.

They took the camera and looked at the footage. However the moment when Mario disappeared was redacted. By that same thing�� They had seen on the TV.

Mario, he was in a beautiful landscape, in his beautiful skin with his beautiful friends. Everything was perfect. However one stood out to him. A player who had a TV for a head. They didn’t speak but were sticking around him all the way through. Showing him hints without words when he got stuck on a particularly hard parkour map. Or helping him on quizzes. They were growing to be his favourite. His heart fluttered looking at them, like a guardian angel. Just made him want to leave even less. Not like he was thinking about leaving anyways. This was just too good to let go. 

This player sent him an invite to a game he never saw before. It seemed to be a private map. Nobody else was there but him and the TV headed player.

Mario scratched his neck, stupid thoughts entering his mind.

“Are you hitting on Mario?” he blushed, pressing his index fingers together in that very specific pleading emoji way. 

The player didn’t reply for a few seconds, seemingly considering how he should react. Maybe reconsidering his plan in the first place.

“No no… however… I got a deal for you” the player leaned down to Mario’s level. 

“It feels like it” 

“No it’s- Mario. I’m offering you appreciation you never had before… The attention you deserve.”

“You’re definitely hitting on Mario. It’s okay, Mario knows he’s one sexy italian man”

The player was losing it. They paced around. Mario was starting to look a little sad about it.

“Are you okay?” He looked at them sad, very sad in fact. Not his favourite kind of creepy hang out buddy being sad.

“I’m- I’m fine- Besides, online dating is against the rules.”

“Mario broke some rules here and there, he’s above the law” Mario gave the player a thumbs up who could only laugh and facepalm. 

They couldn’t believe they felt a bit charmed by Mario of all people.

“It’s like you want to date me or something” they joked with a wide grin “I didn’t even do much”

“You helped Mario a lot! Mario is not good at thinking and you did it for him”

They chuckled, almost forgetting what they are here for. 

“Well,... I think we could make a great team.”

“Oooooh…. Great team? With Mario?”

“Yes! No one would be as great as you for this…”

“Mario thinks you’re flirting”

“Sure” they laughed “I was rather referring to the time you were hosting Meme Games… I could help you host another one! What do you say?”

“Anything for you, Roblox player” he cried, hugging their long ass legs.

“Oh, worry not, Mario” they grabbed his face, looking at him softly “I’ll be there. You bring the challenges and your spirit… I’m giving you everything else. You deserve it”

Mario blushed, looking up at them. They pat his head before he was ejected from the game. To everyone’s surprise there of course. As they didn’t even have time to leave before he came back. They all looked at him scared. 

“What? Mario’s fine” he jumped up, the same grin he had when looking at the TV headed player not being gone. He was obviously ecstatic. 

“Sorry we bothered your gaming sesh” Tari looked down. She knew how gaming can get. She was also the gentlest when bothering Mario.

“I’m not. It’s about time you go touch grass and let SMG4 sleep in his OWN room” SMG3 chimed in, obviously annoyed.

“No one asked you to take SMG4 in” Meggy said to him.

“He was taking up space in the gaming room! It’s the best that I could do” he was annoyed.

“Mario is hosting meme games” Mario jumped up excited again, then ran out of the door, not even paying attention to any of the comments. Everyone looked at each other. Meme games? It had been a while.

[tobi-smp]

you might be able to expand on this in a way that’s smarter then me, but honestly; i think technoblade apologists rely far too much on word of god for their analysis.

like, it feels like every time technoblade (the character) is analyzed in the context of the Text Itself, the fans will say “that’s not what techno intended” or “he didn’t think that when acting techno”.

this is probably because cc!techno cares so little for the the fourth wall. but as someone who analyzes techno it also annoys me. “cc!techno didn’t plan to kill anyone canonically during doomsday, cc!jack just challenged him” regardless of what your cc intends, c!techno still bombed a country and shot at other characters, and for him to think there would be no casualties in that is ridiculous.

this fourth-wall-breaking honestly gives quite a few issues like this; techno acts like killing tubbo was unimportant or even funny because “it’s minecraft” and anyone still angry at him about that is just irrational. obviously, because c!tubbo still has to live with the scarred body and the huge amount of trauma, this makes c!techno seem like a Huge Dick. but pointing that out always gets so many angry responses.

rivals duo enthusiasts make so much “techno heals and cares for dream” content, but in actuality techno wants his lore to be only funny so he says “i’m not getting tortured. that seems like a you problem.”

i’m not saying that techno isn’t nice— because he is, to ranboo and phil and niki— but because he participates is HUGELY SERIOUS topics (bombing a nation twice, tommys exile, terrorism and taking hostages, dreams torture) and then acts like he doesn’t care, it just makes him look…. Bad.

i dont really know where i was going with this. basically i just wanted to complain about how one of the most argued about characters doesn’t even seem to be serious about the serious parts of the lore.

perhaps you can somehow expand on this in a way that’s smart T_T

Honestly, techno apologism takes techno's word as absolute truth Way too often in general (both in character and out). which isn't unique to techno fans by any means, but it's particularly bothersome because it leaks out into how they talk about other characters, All The Time.

a quick example would be techno arguing that l'manberg was corrupt because tubbo was given presidency without an election. the reality of the situation was that they were in the middle of a crisis (a war that just came to an end, the death of the president with no one to take his place, and the destruction of the entire nation), so it Wasn't under normal circumstances. l'manberg would've then held elections every couple of months had they not been exploded before that could happen. (there's also the fact that nearly everyone that'd be a part of l'manberg was there and could've voiced their concerns, instead the crowd cheered. they didn't get a ballot but they still expressed their approval).

and of course things that he says about other characters being taken as word of god (him wholesale inventing the character flaw that tommy sees himself as a hero with the theseus speech despite the fact that tommy denied it right then and there. or cc!techno making the joke that tommy's only facing the consequences of his own actions, Twice.)

but more on the topic, there Is a massive tonal difference between techno's viewpoint and everyone else's, and that's completely on purpose ! but that creates some of the worst discourse this fandom has to offer Because techno involves himself in serious lore while still insisting on carrying his non-serious roleplay style.

when you take his word on it and Only his word on it it strips other characters of their nuance because he doesn't see or Care about their motivations or the context behind them. that's why it's so easy to paint the butcher army as purely evil from his perspective. Technoblade doesn't care about releasing withers on l'manberg, Technoblade doesn't care about having shot tubbo, Technoblade doesn't care that quackity is terrified of him, so why should they? why should anyone?

people refuse to see the butcher army as a response to technoblade's actions because technoblade doesn't treat his actions as if they have weight. and so quackity is taken to the fandom alter to be sacrificed as an uncomplicated villain (either alongside tubbo or while painting quackity as a manipulator who coerced the rest of the butcher army), and this Long before las nevadas was a part of the lore.

but then of course, if you look at his actions and attitude from any other perspective (minus philza) he just looks, Cold.

he's bombing l'manberg because of a failed execution and philza's house arrest but he won't even acknowledge that tubbo's execution or his destruction of l'manberg was something that he should've apologized for. he painted tommy as a dehumanizer because tommy chose to stand by his best friend, but techno is risking the lives of people who haven't wronged him without remorse because philza (his best friend) got hurt. he's angry at tommy for betraying him (to the point that he's indifferent to his literal death), when he refused to take tommy seriously over feeling betrayed with tubbo's execution and when He was the one who lied to tommy during their partnership.

he refuses to engage with other characters on an emotional level because that would suck the dumb fun out of his actions (and I don't mean dumb fun as an insult here, I love his roleplay style when it Isn't tonally dissonant from everything around it). but from the other perspective that comes across as indifference to suffering, willful ignorance, hypocrisy, or just outright cruelty.

which just isn't how his character Should be read with how its being acted, but it's the only way To read it in context.

techno wants his character to be the comic relief on the server but he still wants to involve himself with heavy lore, which would still be Possible if he was fine playing a villain (just look at jack and niki with their team rocket arc). but the problem is that he presents his character as emotionally disconnected from everyone around him outside of a select handful of people (and even then, he won't engage with certain things seriously for fear of being pulled into serious lore) while still wanting his character to be read as good (or at least lighter on the gray morality scale).

the solution to this would be a more careful implementation of techno's involvement with the lore. keeping him involved in conflicts in a way where his character doesn't bump elbows with the darkest aspects of the server. either by having him Not involved with things like doomsday or having him involved in a way where he isn't an instigator, Or by technoblade the content creator taking the L and taking his roleplay more seriously when he involves himself in serious lore.

instead we have the insistence that it's not technoblade's fault that people died when he killed them because it doesn't fit with how cc!techno wants to engage with those events.

[clockworklozenges]

So, a good five or so years back, I played in one of the best worst DnD games I have ever been in. The DM had bought the Libris Mortis book, which, if you were unaware, was a 3.5 splatbook adding in a lot of undead stuff, including some monsters and undead player races and stuff. Wanting to try it out, me and my gaming group decided to play things from it, our then DM deciding to run a completely homebrewed session. This proved to be a...

Terrible Idea™

(for the uninitiated, never homebrew something you do not fully understand unless it's just cosmetic. If you want to make all elves worship the god of garlic bread, Ultimo-Metatron-Omega, go ahead, but unless you know how the game works, don't make mechanical changes). So we all picked stuff from the books-one player played a skeleton Sorcerer who in life was a tribal shaman, but an attempt at healing went wrong, turning him undead as his life energy was replaced with negative energy, explaining why most of his spells were necromancy and suchlike.

Another player played Krug, an antipaladin in very spiky full plate. He was a zombie made by a necromancer of a paladin who was fighting him, but his allies killed his would-be master before he could assert control, and not wanting to just off him, his allies just...yeeted his body into a portal and hoped it'd re-kill him. It did not kill him hard enough. It did, however, explain his stats which...oof. He had already got debuffs to some stats due to being a zombie, and rolled abysmally. Fortunately for the player, he played mostly to socialise, so didn't much care.

I played... Count Nox Feratu, the Campire. As in, a vampire with a very camp German accent, which I did not break for the whole time I was playing him. To the point where "ach, nein, I haf bin heet! Heal me, meine freunde!" was par for the course. My overly camp vamp was a wizard, but due to level adjustment was a bit of a shoddy one. For backstory, he'd been ousted from his clan for ineptitude, and had sworn revenge. I was going for a swordmage build but never got there. All his spells were utility or just necromancy spells.

Our last player played...sigh...Damien Bloodmoon, cleric of Nerull, God of murder and undeath. He was one of the clerics from the book's murder Domain, meaning that he got buffs to damage. He was a vicious arse both in character and out of it, and was so dripping with edge compared to the paladin with the same IQ as a horse after its trip to the glue factory, the shaman who thought killing fixed people and the Campire that if you gave him a pat on the back you'd have finely diced your hand into a red mist. Not going too outlandish with his backstory of wanting to dominate the world as his undead thralls, Damien F***ing Bloodmoon had only taken spells which either charmed live people, dealt negative energy damage or messed with ability drain and suchlike, which he used with aplomb on townsfolk on our way to our objective. He was also, importantly, playing an elf of some sort, I forget which kind. Meaning that of the party, only one was alive.

So, just as an aside, for those of you that haven't played 3.5e DnD or have only played 5e, in Libris Mortis, undeath was gone over in detail, and had a litany of pros and cons. For one thing, undead had only the HP they had-folks like Damien F***ing Bloodmoon could be 'dying', and had some time to be stabilised before meeting the reckoning of Papa John and dying proper. Undead did not, it was just how much you had and if you ran out, poof, you're dust, bones and fertiliser again. You were also harmed by positive energy, so healing spells hurt you, as did potions of healing. However, undead were kind of hardy - poison immunity, some had resistance to non-magical melee damage, stuff that drained your ability scores and levels didn't work on them, some crits wouldn't do extra damage, and the best part- negative energy healed undead. Meaning all the spells our party had which damaged others like the living Damien Bloodmoon were curative ones for us. Keep this in mind.

So, we began our quest, learning of a necromancer a nearby town was plagued by. After using our skills (to whit: Damien Bloodmoon charming and drawing the life force out of random villagers and the only potion seller in the town whilst we went shopping. Krug got a snazzy hat, which we put on top of his helmet, and we chatted to townsfolk as I looked alive enough to pass as human and the shaman had a fake beard and toupee that people were too awkward to point out was fake so went along with it) we learn that the necromancer has a base of operations in the cemetery. "Oh ja, zo original, dahlink. Ve vill need to educate zis guy on vhat is chic and vhat is just shabby!"

So we head there and the nightmare begins. Damien Leads the charge, using all of his knowledge to deduce that the shambling horde moving towards us were stronger-than-your-average-bear undead, and he was right. These were powerful armoured zombie mages of some sort, casting ability draining spells, negative energy ray spells and even having auras of negative energy that dealt damage on a failed Fortitude save. Even their punch and quarterstaves did negative energy damage as well as the usual bludgeoning or unarmed. However...only one of us was really in danger and the DM's face fell when the squishy casters walked up and began shanking their super-special homebrew zombie wizards, being healed by the damage of their attacks as we cut them down.

Like I said, one of the benefits of undeath is that negative energy actually heals you. So the strikes of the magic staves and punches that hit us did some basic damage. Which was then immediately healed by the negative energy their weapon strikes and spells were doing.

However, you'll recall that Damien Bloodmoon was an elf. And not dead. Being a Cleric of a death god doesn't mean that you have the abilities of an undead. That meant that even with the DM being merciful, by the end of the first fight he was covered in blood, mud and withered away to just above half his original strength and constitution. More were patrolling, so we had to run. But that posed a problem.

Remember Krug had heavy armour? And recall his awful stats? He in fact, hadn't got enough strength to wear the armour he'd been given for backstory. He didn't, according to the DM, have enough to remove his own armour. And we attempted to, but also failed our checks according to the DM. And Damien Bloodmoon refused to help, simply blaming Krug and his player. Krug's player thought it was hilarious, and Krug only had enough Intelligence and Wisdom to say his own name, so saw no problem. And Krug, Nox Feratu and Shaman realised that there really...wasn't a problem.

For us, at least.

We slogged through three combats dragging Krug and wading through the mud with him. His speed was so slow that for every step he took, we took about ten. The DM was confused and infuriated that his encounters weren't working, but refused to change them. So we had fun role-playing. Or at least three of us did.

Damien Bloodmoon refused to roleplay, and none of his ranged spells could affect the zombie mages. When he went into melee, he came out wounded as all hell. He went down twice, and it was only the healing supplies of the shaman that saved him.

All the while, he was... Let's say not best pleased. Damien Bloodmoon was getting increasingly wounded, exasperated and longing for the sweet embrace of death as reprieve from the humiliation. His player was getting increasingly redder and rage-filled as time passed. Each fight ended with our characters stronger than ever and his a bloody pulp on the floor, with poor in-character knowledge (and terrible rolls) preventing him from realising why.

Eventually, we reached the final boss, pausing only to paint Krug's armour in contact poison just in case, and to find a stick to help the now-partially-crippled Damien Bloodmoon, cleric of death and murder, walk after being beaten up by angry zombie wizards for hours. And it had, indeed, been hours. Among us, only Damien had a bonus to strength, and we had two swords, a mace and a staff between the four of us. Meaning it was re-death by a thousand cuts for the enemy and a slog and a half for us.

We reach the necromancer and, having taken so long due to dragging the oblivious Krug with us, his big ritual is complete- he raises a fist-sized black onyx egg aloft, crackles with arcane power and causes the bones around him to coalesce into one massive creature - an undead, giant-sized rust monster, radiating an Aura of pure negative energy. Krug opened his arms wide, eager for the metal-eating monster cockroach to free him from his poison-painted metal prison. It ignores him as he's still very far away. Me and the others have our weapons and armour devoured.

Our DM was very much a stickler for note-taking. So because Damien Bloodmoon hadn't written 'clothes' on his sheet, his armour being eaten by the monster left him naked and afraid.

It became clear that the DM had done another f***y-wucky. See, the Aura of negative energy healed me and the Sorcerer by more than its other attacks did. So whilst Damien Bloodmoon was naked, soaked in mud and bleeding to death almost crushed to a pulp in the fetal position, rocking backwards and forwards as his player seethed with hatred, the Shaman and the Campire set about beating the thing to death with our bear hands and a stick.

The session ended once we killed the necromancer, or rather when Krug walked up to him, closed his arms and just crushed the noodle-armed bad guy to death with the weight of his ridiculous armour and poisoned him with its paintwork.

We never revisited the game afterwards. We were told later on that the DM wanted us to use the non-undead races. But at no point had he said as much, even when we asked him about our characters and the restrictions on them. We also learned a valuable lesson. DM for the players who are there, not the ones who you have an idealised mental image of. Tailor your game, otherwise you'll get a sitcom featuring a camp nosferatu, a shaman with no healing, a paladin who could barely move and a Cleric of murder who was ironically the only one at risk of actually dying.

[yesvaldemarharder]

Being A Cock Warmer For The Males In Arcana

Yeah I ain’t stutter. Also the fact that y’all got 308 notes on the Nsfw Arcana bit I ain’t got 308+ followers hurts me. So cruel. 😤

Anyway let’s get started before I have a mental breakdown haha (<— old edit sorta)

Edit from today (7/25): WE ARE NOW AT 565 FOLLOWERS! (I do believe, I might have to check again) Thanks so much guys! I know I disappear a lot but with witch stuff and spirituality and shit like that I just need to take breaks. I don’t mind y’all asking me how I’m feeling though smh, it might bring me back sooner to know people care about me.

But y’all too scared to even comment on how much y’all like my posts so I know y’all won’t do it.. cowards. 😔🥺

Anyway here’s the cock holder post, I’m actually not sure if these are completely cock holder-ish because of how they turn out but here, have fun rubbing off kiddies uwu. (Please don’t be actual kids tho smh, I ain’t responsible for yo lil ass.. if you get caught rubbing one out)

EDIT 7/27: Finally I’m done, I just want to say thank you to all the followers that’s been waiting for this post! I’ve been in off and on moods these days so yeah..anyway I’ve been holding this post for months and well here ya go! Also if anyone else wants to Roleplay just hit me up! (However I need to see your style of Roleplay before we start anything..short rps and rps with plot or starters aren’t my thing. And I call dating Valdemar uwu, I’ll rp your fav character for you if you rp them for me.)

I feel like some of these are out of character but only a little, please deal with it considering how hard I worked to get this out..also if you read this whole top, you get this: a quick request from me! Request anything you want and I’ll upload it either today, tomorrow or the day after! You have to read all my top tho and I know some of you won’t so for people who do, in your request send me the call out note I put up here!

Honestly it shouldn’t be hard to find..but anyway enjoy!

(Also I might make edits later teehee..)

-

Asra

As yet another costumer walked asking multiple questions about crystals and spiritual awakenings you nearly whimpered to them as an answer to whatever they had just said. Your hand roughly clutching the edge of the greeting desk in front of you.

Asra’s cock nestled in deep inside you like a snug bug in a fucking rug. It pressed against your sweet spot, nudging against the g-spot and he’s carefully rolling his hips shooting pleasure all throughout your body. Your clit is rock hard at this point as his hand grips your naked thigh, your shirt pulled up and panties around your ankles.

Everything is hidden from the people coming in except your face which is trying to hard not to show how hot you’re feeling. You want to stick your tongue out so bad or let your eyes roll but you know that with the right person that’s a dead giveaway. When another comes in Asra greets them with a warm smile seeing you stumble on your words to do so instead. He thrust his hips a little and you hold back from crying out, ducking your head down into your arms to bite your lips. Just like the way he told you to.

‘What a good girl you are.~’ He thinks with a catlike grin. He’s enjoying this quite a bit and you can tell with the twitching that his cock is doing inside you. Asra has patience though, a lot of it..and while you want so desperately to bounce on his cock like a whore in heat he simply won’t let you until he sees fit. Maybe if you beg for it though he’ll simply not give a damn about the customers and will put you up for display, fuck you right on the counter in front of everyone that enters.

When the customer haults themselves mid sentence they take the time to ask if you’re ok. Of course you can’t answer, you can’t even trust your voice to sound somewhat under control. Asra is on it in a flash taking any words from you to speak instead. Maybe not with the words you expected him to say but really you can’t argue right now. Not when he lifts your legs a bit more and sinks deeper into your wet messy pussy. You shake against him letting out a strangled whimper.

“She’s just a bit sick right now, poor thing... I wished for her to sleep but she insisted on helping me today. Isn’t that sweet?”

Insisted on helping daddy work today.~ Oh such a naughty girl you were weren’t you? Don’t worry though, he’d made you squirt all over his cock like the loving daddy he was. What would he be if he didn’t?

After a couple of words between Asra and the customer the customer leaves with whatever they managed to purchase. The shop was quiet now only with the sound of wetness between your thighs and you breathless moans. It was quiet until he pushed you forward. You press firmly against the counter and he follows you pressing right up against your back, your hands find the counter and he chuckled into the skin of your back. “Such a good girl, you did a good job~” he mumbles as your cervix twitched against the slit of his cock and god, he has to cover your mouth as you cry out in pleasure because even though there aren’t anymore customers he still can’t be sure if anyone is still around outside.

You hips bucked against him now in a deep rut. He doesn’t even bother to tell you to stop because he know you won’t, he also knows you can’t help it at this point..your bouncing, tears running down your rosy cheeks. He just watches with a smug smile as his cock disappears each time you push back against him, his hands moving down to grab your hips as you moan and cry for more. Who knew a simple push would make you loose your mind? He did, that’s who knew.

You jerk with a high pitched cry and this time he doesn’t bother to cover your mouth, you’re just too far gone and he’d be a liar if he didn’t want to hear you babblering about how good his cock was. At one point you nearly collapsed but he holds you, lovingly as if you were simply cuddling in bed and not just breeding yourself on his cock.

“Shh, Shh. That’s a good girl, take daddy’s cock baby. It’s okay, I’ll let you cum.”

And oh god when his fingers came to play with your clit magick mixing in and you came so hard.. You were pretty sure you went to the astral plane for a second or some shit because it made you grip the desk for your life. Eyes rolling as he groaned, busting his load within you filling you with pups. You went limp against him, panting tiredly as he nuzzled you as if he didn’t just fuck the shit out of you.

“Such a good girl.”

Julian

You’re both flustered. His hands tightly gripping your twitching thighs as his large cock is deeply submerged in you. You’re in public, at the bar matter of fact surrounded by both men and women alike who are either drunk of their asses or are soon to be as such. Either way it’s risky to do this here but it couldn’t have been helped.

When you found your seat in Julian’s lap he turned a deep shade of red from the suddenly weight but simply chuckled lifting a brow, curious to know what you were up to now. “Darling? Careful now, I might ‘pop one’.” He chuckled and you purred, the noise making the glass you held to your lips vibrate a bit. He hugged you, like a baby clinging to a mother until you start to feel something prodding at your butt.

You make a small surprised noise and he freezes on the spot. You look back at him and he’s so flustered all he can do is look back up at you, sweating lightly, he even gives a shy little grin as if to say ‘told ya so’. After a short staring contest you bite your lip and purr once more. Why not take advantage of this, you and Julian we’re into many things so why not try out a little public play? You lift the glass back to your lips to down the rest of whatever you had been drinking in the first and then you shifted in his lap getting a feel of a twitch.

“Julian darling, you seem to have a bit of a surprise for me hm?~” He gives a nervous chuckle but nods. You take the momentary awkwardness as him being a bit shy and you know it’s understandable, even you’re feeling a little anxious with what you are about to do..however Julian was always one to try new things and you could tell he was interested the second his hand carefully cupped your hip.

You bit your lip in anticipation and without too much more hesitation you look around to see if anyone is watching glad to see that they’re not and you stand a little pulling down your pants and panties. He watches, he’s so nervous that you can practically see him gulp but the bulge in his pants is still growing so neither of you can help yourselves.

He fights his pants quickly pulling them down letting his cock bob out. Hard and already glossy with sweet precum already. If it wasn’t for a growing wetness developing between your legs and the group of people around you you’d get down on you knees and take that cock in your mouth. The tip is an angry red and you go to make a joke but shudder as he sneakily runs his thumb down the crack of your soft ass, playfully over your butthole and over your folds to your cute pink clit.

You nearly buck, humping the table but your careful. That’ll cause a scene for sure. Julian is impatient now, forgetting the awkwardness and embarrassment but he’s still cautious.. as much as he wants to beg you to hurry he doesn’t whine, not here, not yet..

You slowly lower yourself on the large, throbbing cock. It stretches you and you hear Julian gasp, his hands grabbing hold to your thighs the second you both connect. It’s hot in your belly, twitching against your fleshy pink walls, making your belly bulge ever so slightly. You’re shaking and he can’t quite literally feel you quivering around him. Biting into your lip you lightly roll your hips, slow to get a good feel of the twitching inside you.

You suddenly let out a muffled cry, your hand coming up just in time to cup your mouth when Julian bucks a bit on instinct. He’s quick to apologize though, sorry he couldn’t keep his body still but oh god...you’re soaking wet and so fucking hot that honestly he feels he might cum already.

You try to calm down, not to cause a scene when he presses his head into the crook of your shoulders, panting on your neck as he wraps his arms around you firmly keeping you in place. You practically whimper as he kissed your neck. “Q-Quickly darling, bounce on it. I’m going to cum soon~” Julian didn’t usually tell you what to do, and that might have been the reason you looked surprised at his words, might have also been the reason you grew wetter..

You felt...flustered, for the first time of being with him because usually you were the one in charge and yet here he was whispering in your ear telling YOU what to do. His lips on your neck, whispers in your ears encouraging you, cock deep inside and kissing your cervix, his taller build pressing so lovingly against your back. He moved his hand down to rub your clit curious to see your reaction as he lifts his head a little to look at your blushing face. He starts off slowly but soon he’s rolling his fingers in rough circles as you gasped and bucked, hips twitching and legs shaking.

“J-Jules, oh shit~ stop...stop I’m going to cum, I’m going to!-“

It was unexpected but he roughly slammed his hips up, cock hitting that sweet spot and he groaned as his cock throbbed before a thick release of cum flooded your insides. He held you tightly as you trembled. His hand tightly over your mouth to keep you quiet because you had been making cute little whines without even noticing. He suddenly was up and moved like a flash as he whisked you off to the bathroom where you squirted, your pussy twitching and spasming around him, eyes rolling because you had just came.

He held you against the wall as you struggled to stand on your own, no one was around now so he freely kissed you, a deep blush on his cheeks as he tried to calm you down. He’d take his time cleaning you up after you came down from your high.. “I’m sorry darling, please forgive me...I couldn’t help myself.” He chuckled lightly against you smiling as you huffed.

Lucio

You’re completely naked, skin sweaty, head buried in the same pillow where Nadia rest her head. His gauntlet squeezes your ass in a tight grip, voices in the hallway having normal talks. Your cheeks are a blood red.

He’s teasingly slow with each thrust, slow but rough covering your mouth with his other hand each time you let out a squeal at his cock spreading your cervix, the words in your ear he whispers are dirty and vulgar, humiliating but you can’t help the way your pussy squeezes around his thick veiny cock.

Lucio doesn’t seem worried, doesn’t seem like he cares if someone comes in to see him breeding his favorite servant like your just some toy. Maybe every once in a while you’ll hear Nadia’s voice and he’ll growl at how tight you squeeze around him, horny but scared she’ll come in and catch you both.

It’s so hard not to rock back into him, not only because he’s barely leaving any space for you but also because he’s in charge here. There’s a delicious twitch from his pulsating cock and you shake your hips now biting into that pillow snapping your eyes shut. It’s good, he’s good...no, he’s fucking amazing and it feels like you’re melting.

At one point it so good that you beg quietly. Soft whimpers and moans falling from your lips as the hand he had on you mouth moves to your hair, yanking those locks he loved so much.

His cock twitches inside you again and holy fuck you’re crying, you want to cum so bad but he’s keeping you still, stopping you from fucking back against him and so now all you can do is try to keep quiet.

This is torture, you think to yourself but then there’s a snap of his hips, cock burying deep in your womb and you scream, face forced into the pillows to shush you. He chuckles lowly in your ear, mockingly as you tremble violently against him.

“What’s wrong princess? Is something the matter? Use your words kitten~”

He knows you’re weak and he loves using it against you. At this point you really are crying, you want to cum to bad and he’s edging your orgasm at a level he’s never done before and it’s fucking killing you.

Beg, beg to get fucked like a bitch. Beg for him to take mercy. Beg for his cock, he fucking loves that.

And you did. “P-please sir~ please please please...let me cum please..” you sound so desperate it’s pitiful but with a hum he grants your wishes. If you thought the teasing was one thing the strokes he gave your slutty ass was another.

He fucked you so hard into the bed that when you came you couldn’t stop whimpering his name or shaking. You hips trembling seven after he pulled out. Your face pressed so hard into the pillows as his hot cum dripped out of your cunt.

He’d clean you up later but for now he kissed your lower back before giving that bum a nice slap watching as the skin brightened.

“Good girl~”

Muriel’s is a bit shorter because other then Portia I don’t really see him in a ‘LETS FUCK’ kinda way. Just my opinion don’t get mad please smh.

Muriel

It’s making your stomach bulge so much that you’re shaking, gripping his strong thighs as his large hands carefully settle on your hips.

There’s a twitch and you toss you head back to rest it on his chest, panting, whining like a dog and heat and even though it’s slightly embarrassing for you, looking up with lidded eyes and seeing that deep blush makes you purr. You bite your lip

His hand slides and now it’s on your stomach gently caressing the bulge he finds there. You shudder and then you let out a sweet high pitched moan as one of his thick fingers move to rub you clit.

His movements are slow but firm, he’s careful because he doesn’t want to hurt you but he also loves how your nails dig into his skin and how you buck and clench around him.

Keep doing that and might blow his loud sooner than he thought he would.

It’s just you and him, Inanna (did I spell that right? I don’t know I ain’t played his route like that..) is out, and he feels better that she is. Not hear to watch as the clear juices drip out of your needy cunt.

He hasn’t rolled his hips or thrusted up into you once yet and deep in your mind you feel a bit grateful but that doesn’t mean you can’t rub against him

There’s a shiver and then you wiggle those hips of yours, crying out in bliss as his finger presses against your clit and how you can feel his cock twitch again. The hand on your hips squeezes and then there’s a shaky groan behind you

He slumps a little, big strong chest against your back, lips against your throat in a gentle kiss and he’s shaking. He might just cum but it’s no doubt that you’re going to beat him to it.

When his hips stuttered you arched but now it was too late to stop. You cried his name out before you came hard around that fat cock of his. He gasped at the tightness but quickly wrapped his arms around your waist giving you a gently but firm hug.

His cumming and his cum is thick and stick. You convulse just having it in you and when you’re both done he falls back onto the bed panting with the same tempo as you.

Fuck, you loved this man and when you found your voice again you’d definitely tell him to his face. ❤️

Can I just say that Vlastomil needs more fluff and smut of him??? Like no cap he lowkey makes the pussy wet for me 🥴🥴🥴 his is a bit short but cut me some slack, it’s 1 am in the morning..

Vlastomil

You didn’t suggest this, it just kinda sorta happened. When you came into his office to greet him with a kiss you didn’t expect to end up staying for this long but you guessed when lovers are too busy with work the second they had time alone anything will go down.

A simple kiss turned to Vlastomil grabbing your hand carefully to pull you closer. He’s missed you and you’ve missed him too, what could it hurt to spend time together? You smile a little and come closer until you’re in his lap, facing him and that cute dumb grin on his face. His hands moving around your waist to pull you both together and then you’re kissing again.

His tongues are curious to roam your mouth and as you do so you can’t help but moan a little remembering the times those same tongues had been submerged in your pussy making your jerk and cry out for mercy. You’ve missed him more than you thought you did..damn Nadia and those amazing adventures you two seemed to always go on..

He paused upon hearing the sound come from you and as he pulls back there’s a glimpse in his eyes that you both know all too well. Then there’s a slight twitch beneath his robes and you can’t help but shift closer, pressing a hand to his chest to make him lean back a little. His hands are still on you but this time they squeeze a little at your hips to encourage you. “Well, we have the time now correct?” He hums and you purr, nodding a bit as you lean down to kiss his exposed throat which makes him shiver under you.

With a catlike grin you pull back lifting your skirt to show your thighs that’s encased in stockings and lace underwear that has probably five seconds to be dealt with before he rips them off you. His eyes are focused and his cheeks are a bit red but now you too have gotten this far, no need to stop now. Not with the bulge between his legs growing bigger and needier for attention. It doesn’t take long to get him inside you, his fingers have prepared your now wet cunt and now your slit is teasing the head of his cock.

Usually Vlastomil doesn’t mind a bit of playfulness but he really wants you and with out much of a thought he pulls you down, kissing your lips as you go to arch and moan out at the sudden move. He’s throbbing in you, his long cock pulsing happily to finally be surrounded by your hot wet insides. You clutch his clothes, legs twitching a bit and even though you want to keep kissing you can’t help how your head tilts back even more you you to let out a broken moan of his name.

“Vl-Vlast~..” you gasp as he shifts a little to which he hums. “Hush now, don’t be too loud dear~.” Because while he’d love to make you scream the last thing he really wants to hear are rumors from servants who are far too curious about his love life. You shiver and for a while he just holds you allowing you to be the one rolling your hips shakily against him. A quiet groan leaving him each time his cock moves inside you like it might just slip out.

You’re so hot that he buries his head in your shoulder to try and stop himself from pinning you down on his desk. With his movement he presses deeper in you and you whine rolling you hips a bit faster. He’ll allow you to chance your orgasm, until he doesn’t..where he’ll grab your hips in an almost bruising grip to stop you. Then he’ll edge you on till you’re shaking and crying like a bitch, begging for him to stop and just let you come.

Only then would he allow if, for now however, he liked the feeling of those tight walls hugging his cock like a life support.

As you fell apart to your bucking he leaned his head back to whisper in your ear on how you’re doing so well or how good you feel around him. He’s not actively trying to make you cum but oh he’s definitely help tug on the knot inside of you. You hips stutter and with a shout you cum, shaking, twitching, and begging for him to stop with his mistreatments.

When your down, breathless and used he’ll continue to hold you there until he’s cumming so much in you that it starts to overflow. When you could speak again he’d wait for you to say how much you love him, for now however he simply chuckled and placed a lovely kiss on your forehead. Later he’d definitely pin you down and be the one in charge.

Valerius

Whatever Lucio has been saying definitely didn’t translate to you, not when Valerius had his cock so far up your pussy that you struggled to even breathe evenly.

Not with his hand massaging the inside of your thigh underneath the cloth of the table, not with him pressing a light kiss to your cheek even once in a while and definitely not with his little dirty promises each time Lucio looked away.

Your breath came out shaky after Lucio asked you something about the food and you bit your lip feeling the cock in you twitch.

“It’s d-delicious.” It’s the only thing you can mumble after Lucio speaks on how’s the food, while trying to not bounce on the cock that’s getting squeezed by your cunt. You want to roll your hips so bad, make him fuck you on this table without a care, but at the same time you do care.

You care about what whatever the hell Lucio will say for whatever fucking reason and that leaves you shivering trying to fight off the heavy blush that’s trying to appear on your face.

Valerius leers close, his head finding your neck, his lips moving along your skin. Smooth lips kissing your shoulder, then the base of your neck and moving to your ear. He moves his hips and your hand instinctively comes down to squeeze his thigh. He lets out a low groan into your ear feeling the wetness that you’re pussy is letting off, your heat having him hard as a fucking boulder. It really is hard to not bend you over this table and fuck you like the slut that you are. He could see it now, your nails digging into the table cloth as his fingers yank and pull on your hair, his eyes on your cunt with swallows him oh-so nicely with each thrust.

“I’m going to fuck you darling..” he speaks into your ear and the shiver you let off made him chuckle. Lucio is back talking again now, something about another masquerade and how amazing he is.., it doesn’t matter. Valerius’s hand on your thigh begins to move and you’re so sensitive now that even the slightest touch makes you whimper under your breath. His hand moves to tickle your clit, fingers playfully rubbing against the hard bun and now you do bounce on him.

It’s sudden but it makes you both shudder, there’s a wet sound that’s made when you do it and now Valerius downs the rest of his wine somehow calmly managing to set the empty glass on the table. His eyes are closed and you bite your lip, Lucio perks. “Oh Valerius! Would you like some more wine? I’ll even go get it for you!” And you can’t stop him because he’s already running to the kitchen. There’s silence and then his hand wraps around your throat, it squeezes and you let out a choked moan.

“Do it again.” He hummed and fuck, you listen to daddy when told to. Your hips are quick to studder, you bounce, raising your hips just to slam them back down on him. A broken cry leaving your voice when he takes the lead. Your legs spread over his as he fucks you with vigor. His cock rutting so deep in you with each thrust that you can feel it in you tummy and you can feel yourself chasing your own orgasm.

It’s just you and him and your letting out whimpering and broken moans, babbling to your daddy on how good you’ll be if he lets you cum. He believes every word of course because right now the ball is in his field and he’s in charge of if you actually get to cum in his lap.

Your arching, eyes rolling and you can feel the tightness in your belly. It’s coming, you’re trying to warn him, your hands placed on his knees for some sort of structure. You’re so cute, he whispers lovingly in your ear how wet your cunt is or how much it’s squeezing him and then he comes to a sudden stop.

You almost cry, not a small whine but a pitiful yell. You were so close and yet he stopped..this is torture, you couldn’t help but repeat that in your head. Lucio is coming back and you can tell because who doesn’t know that snazzy silhouette by now. Valerius has his hands on you holding you tightly to stop you from taking from him without permission. You will only cum when he lets you, don’t forget that. 

They’re talking but you’re trying so hard not to really cry right now, your pussy trembling with juices dripping down his balls and down your thighs. He has a hand on your hip that’s squeezing, telling you to keep in your place and even though you’re desperate you know that the prize of waiting is much better than a punishment. Or was it? (Teehee 👅😈💦)

A wine bottle slides towards you and it takes you a second to realize what’s happening. You blink before wrapping your fingers around the barrel without a thought and then there’s another deep thrust. You jerk bitting your lip as your hand tightens around the bottle almost like you wish to crush it. Valerius leans against you with a hum “are you alright? Can you open it?” He spoke lowly and to be honest there’s been multiple times where you wanted to hit him but this one really took the cake.

You nod lightly and then his other hand is over your clit, you gasp as digits violently play with the bundle of nerves and you can’t see at the moment but there’s a wide smirk on Lucio’s face. You completely break and arch in his lap as he presses kisses against your throat. “C-coming!~ D-Daddy I’m coming!~~” you cry and while you try weakly to clutch his arm he bucks lifting your hips with his other hands.

The string breaks inside you and then you go to scream but his hand is quick to cover your mouth from such a blissful sound. You cream all over his cock and there’s a rough groan as he cums inside you, his cum hot and filling you to the brim. You slump against him shaking and shivering before peeking a little.

“WOW! What an amazing show Valerius!” The count chuckles and now your blush is hellishly red. Did Lucio know the whole time? Well it must be expected considering how close the two could be. Valerius had his head in your shoulder as he lightly pet your belly which only added to how tired you were now.. You were definitely going to hit him when you woke back up..

Now, for Valdemar and Vulgora. I KNOW they both go by they/them pronouns. I’m only saying this because someone once didn’t know the difference between a daddy kink and ddlg on my account and the last thing I want is some little fucker being like “bUt BuT bUt!..” Most of my post for Valdemar or Vulgora is them with a tentacle dick but I don’t mind writing them with vaginas either. (Tribbing post coming soon uwu) My point is they’re both capable of forming whatever genitalia they want and plus this is just for fun and horny folk, calm down.

Vulgora

A blood curdling scream cut through the air as blood fell to the dirt ground with a splat, the coliseum was bustling with hunger for violence and the screams of the weak. There were three reasons for coming here, for one, Vulgora loved the coliseum. How could they not, fighting and blood was basically what they were made for. Two, they loved to show you the things that they liked to get closer to you.

The third being that when screams filled the air, the screams of pleasure from your lips couldn’t be distinguished from the ones down below.

They grinned a bit before laying their chin on your shoulder, their strong arms wrapped tightly around your waist to keep the two of you attached. You twitched tossing your head back to rest on their shoulder as you let out hot pants and cooes. It squirmed inside of you, that seeping hot tentacle that stretched your cunt as if that was its job. Their tentacle was white in color other than the tip that grew a lovely pink/red, you bit your lip. Just thinking about it had you opening you legs a bit more.

Vulgora shifted moving their hips and you shake when they do because the way their tip wiggles inside your cervix definitely has you ready to start drooling and have their baby or some shit. Vulgora usually fucks you like your in heat but here, with the screams of death they want to hear you scream for more. It’s a bit sadistic of them in a way but why should they care, it’s only you and them on this row of chairs anyway, everyone else is much closer to the front.

Vulgora’s body is hot against yours and if it wasn’t for their arms wrapping around your midsection you’d probably arch away from the touch. Sometimes their so hot you can’t handle it, and more ways than one. Vulgora suddenly snaps their hips up and it’s so sudden that a scream rips right out of your throat before you can catch it. It mingles in the air mixing with a now dead man down below but now you hand moves to grab their arm.

“V-Vulgora..I can’t..~” you struggle to speak, your toes curling as the tentacle wiggles and squirms inside your belly, your eyes rolling as you bite down on your lip. Vulgora chuckles a mocking chuckle and somehow it makes you even wetter. Their tongue slides out to lick your throat, a gauntlet running up your shirt to expose your breast to the tangy air. “You can if I say you can~.” They mumble against your skin.

Holy fuck, you could cum right now but they’d definitely would turn your bliss into a punishment because did they say you could come yet? No, no they didn’t.

Your clit is so hard at this point and the adrenaline of someone simply turning around and catching you so exposed has you not only scared but squeezing them more. What if someone turned around? The whole stadium would see you taking the Pontifex’s cock like some whore. You started to shake at that thought laying your head back against them because you think you’re about to cum. They hum against your skin because out of all their time of dating you they know what goes on in the filthy little head of yours.

You like this. They grin a little before biting down on your shoulder before making a circle motion with their hips. Oh they way you begged, that’s what they want to hear. They want to hear how much you like it and how much it makes you feel good. Vulgora isn’t one to spend time fucking others so you have such privilege to be getting dicked down by them much less be their actual mate.

They don’t really edge you but you can expect more then one orgasm. When you’re practically crying and begging is when they’ll stop breeding you because now you’re full of cum and boneless against them. You pussy spasms around them and all the can do now is laugh a bit and rub your bloated belly. Even with how rough they can be you can tell they love you. They hands rubbing you carefully as the whisper how good you felt and how impressive you are in your ear.

If anything Vulgora is so in love with you you can proudly say your their addiction. You giggle a little when you finally have to strength to again and they hum lightly at the lovely sound.

Valdemar

Valdemar hasn’t been paying much attention to you but honestly what can you expect from them, you may have gotten them to acknowledge they feel a strong connection for you but when stating how you need their touch or how they should pay more attention to you can still be a bit of a struggle.

You huff seeing their back to you, those talented hands (which your cunt knows all to well at this point, fuck I’m needy now..) working so diligently on the lifeless corpse of some female you didn’t take the time to learn about. You’re in your night cloths having just came out of the shared room that you had been waiting for them in. You’re a bit annoyed to see them still working, it’s not like the body was going anywhere soon..

“Val..are you still working on that...” you sigh lightly and they don’t even bother to look back at you as they speak. “It won’t be for much longer.” They answer without missing a beat. You approached them, naked feet lightly padding against the floor and not much longer your against their back. They pause for a second before moving to look back at you. You give them a look, one of irritation and maybe a bit of an attitude and they don’t say anything as they narrow their gaze a little.

“Are you having more time with her than you are with me?” You mumble childishly against their back as your arms move to close around them and then you hand carefully runs down their chest. They roll their eyes moving to put their utensils down in the bloody tray next to the rotting corpse. “Don’t be absurd darling..” they speak and there’s a bit of a low warning tone behind their mask. Maybe it was the fact that they’d been working for hours when they wanted to join you or perhaps it was you coming out of nowhere with such silly things to say, either way, you could see that this was them telling you to watch yourself.

They noticed that attitude for a couple days now and to say the least they were pretty fed up with it. Fed up with the attitude and/or petty remarks.. You on the other hand scoffed to hide a smug smirk. “Do you like your fingers being in her more than in me?” This time they turned around making you stop and then take a small step back because to be honest you didn’t expect that. They grabbed your wrist holding it up as they got closer, your scent drawing them in.

“What did I just say? Stop the nonsense (y/n) or I’ll punish you.” Oh~ now you shivered a little. You hummed to resist from biting your lip, a punishment huh? Just what you needed. You pressed against their chest looking up at their slim tall figure with an almost challenging look as if you were calling a bluff. You tilted your head “did I strike a nerve? Want some more alone time with your new bitch?”

It happened so fast, them spinning you around and pushing your front down on a newly cleaned table. They pulled your hips up pressing firmly against your back as they leaned down to your ear with a low scoff. “Perhaps I didn’t make myself clear.” They spoke lowly before a hand was lifting your gown over the round of your ass to reveal those lace panties, their gloves hand traced your skin. You shivered under their surprisingly strong build, biting your bit as you wiggles back against them only for one of their hands to sit right in the small of your back keeping you still. “Drop the attitude.” The hissed lightly.

When you let out a small whimper that’s when they knew this was what you wanted. They paused before humming in a sing song-y way. Their other hand snaked up before wrapping around your throat tilting your head back until your eyes connected with theirs. “Oh now~ I think I see what’s happening here..” they spoke with that sharp gaze. You were already getting super wet at this point and you wanted so desperately to push back against them.

“What a naughty little whore you are (y/n)..” they trailed off a little as something slimy ran up your inner thigh to rub over your clothed cunt before pulling your panties aside revealing your needy cunt that trembled for attention. You could feel it behind you, their body shifting a bit to help in this situation..the tentacle sliding over your clit as another managed to free them from their slacks revealing their tentacock which started as the same color as their skin to black half way.

Soon enough they had pushed inside leaving you breathless as they kept that dominating gaze on you, the hand around your throat squeezing a bit as your pussy hugged them. The long and heavy appendage squirmed inside you and you couldn’t help but spread your legs a bit more and cooe at them. Your stomach bulged a bit and you had to keep your hands firmly down to not completely collapse upon them, hell if it wasn’t for them supporting your back you were nearly positive your legs would buckle.

Once they were completely settled they leaned down to give you a kiss, short and sweet before they started a torturously slow pace allowing you to feel all of them and shake with need. Oh no, not this..Valdemar had quite a bit of patience and you knew that when they say they’d punished you they mean it. The last thing you expected was such cruelty like this though. You let out a broken cry “V-Val!..please~..” you choked out letting out a slight gargle as their hand tightened a bit more around your neck, the other moving to clasp around your hip to keep you from fucking back onto them.

They ignored you, their thrust slow but intensely firm, their cock sinking so deep in you you couldn’t help but cry a little from the slight overstimulation.

The room still had the scent of blood that filled your senses as well as the scent of sex and the wet squelching noises coming from you two. Your moans growing louder and your begs growing more desperate each time they pressed against you, your clit so hard that each time one of the other tentacles would flick it you’d jump with a shout. Valdemar never once looked away from you while you on the other hand couldn’t keep your eyes open or stop letting them roll to the back of your head.

They loved this honestly, putting you in your place and watching you fall apart from just a couple actions and they had to admit, while sex isn’t necessarily important to them they liked to see you so red in the face and twitchy with pleasure. You felt like you been there for hours when you finally came shaky violently, closing your eyes tight and letting out a high pitch cry. Your back arched as much as they’d let you and you came so hard it felt like you had died. Valdemar held you through it, letting up on their grip around your throat.

They weren’t done with you of course, they’d still have yet to cum themselves. For now though they’d hold you until you were ready to take more of your punishment.

[shenanigans-and-imagines]

NSFW (whole alphabet) for Maul?

A/N: PLEASE REMEMBER TO COMMENT AND REBLOG IF YOU LIKE THIS! HEADCANONS NEED LOVE TOO YOU KNOW! (Also the tags are not working because they hate me)

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

He’s gentle, shockingly so. No matter how rough or intense, his entire demeanor shifts.  He treats you like glass; caressing your skin, cleaning your mess, and reveling in the lingering warmth. He becomes one clingy bitch is what I’m getting at here. 

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He loves your throat.  He loves how you leave it so open to him, to kiss or bite or squeeze as he wishes.  It’s a sign of trust, not to mention it leads down to your chests and all the other soft parts attached. (He’s a boob man, that’s all I’m saying)

As for himself, he likes his hands. They still hold his true strength. They can still wield the force to his will; to destroy his enemies or to place a gentle touch to your cheek.  He’s amazed that you can allow him to touch you after how much his hands have done. 

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He makes a mess whenever you fuck.  He likes to cum on you; on your tits, stomach, back, face, anywhere.  But he really loves cumming inside you and watching it drip from your sex.  Even if he can’t give you children, the idea of burying his seed in you is an instinct he can’t shake.  Would love nothing more than to keep his cock inside you and fill you again and again with him cum until it spills out on the bed.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

There are times he purposefully makes you angry because he knows how you’ll punish him later.  He’s not sure if you’ve caught on or not, but either way you play into his scheme perfectly.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Not very before you.  He was taken by Sidious at a very young age; as a Sith he was trained to forgo attachments and obey his master at every turn.  Sidious would not allow his apprentice any chance to form a connection with another aside from taking him back to Dathomir to fulfill a coming of age ritual where he was taken by a Night Sister.  After that, nothing. 

But, for what he lacks in experience, he makes up for in his willingness to learn.  He asks what you want, what you like.  He feels your reactions through the force and demonstrates a control you hadn’t found in previous lovers.  He can be patient when it counts.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

He loves it when you’re both kneeling, with you straddling his waist a he thrusts up into you.  He’s able to reach deep inside you while allowing either of you to gain control as you wish it.  Not to mention easy access to your throat and breasts as he clings to you. 

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Maul is 99.9% of the time completely serious during sex.  Either his focus is entire on your pleasure or you’ve given him permission to work out his frustrations using your body.  The only time he’d crack a joke is if he’s feels particularly smug about the way he’s making you feels and wants to tease you.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

No hair down below, because, well...he doesn’t really have a natural below.  I doubt Mother Talzin added hair just for the fun of it.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

As I said before Maul has two modes; I need to fuck away my feelings OR you are the most important thing in the galaxy let me show you why.  When he’s in mode two, he’s the most intimate and romantic partner you can ask for, almost desperate in his attempt to show you how you make him feel.  If it’s option one, you’ll have to wait until after the sex to get the same treatment.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Pre-Naboo, he kept it on the down low.  He could only allow himself a moment’s release when his master wasn’t around.  And even then, it was only when he was particularly stressed or angry.  It was done quickly with no real thought of pleasure, just some kind of release if he couldn’t do it through violence.

After Naboo, it’s not really something he does because well...there’s not much down there for a good long while and after he gets some of his...parts back, he meets you.  With you, he doesn’t feel as compelled to use his hands.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Breeding kink.  He can’t give you children, obviously, but there’s an almost instinct there.  Just another thing Kenobi took away form him.

Also, not sure if it’s a kink, but he’s an absolute switch.  One minute he’s squeezing your neck while using you as his personal cum bucket.  The next, he’s tied to the bed begging and promising you the galaxy if you just let him cum.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

He’s a bit of an exhibitionist. As much as he wants to be the only one to see you naked and writhing underneath him, there’s something about fucking you on the throne of Mandalor that sends a thrill up his spine.  Anyone can walk in and know that he’s the one making you feel this way.  He has the power to fuck you in front of the whole of Death Watch if he wanted to and none of them could touch you.  They would know you were his and as their leader they would not dare oppose him.

So, in terms of most common place, your bedroom.  In terms of most thrilling place, the throne room, followed by the war room, and then the training room.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

You getting angry is the hottest thing in the galaxy to him.  If you direct that anger into destroying your enemies in combat, even better.  He’ll take you the second you’re alone in the ship.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Roleplaying.  It’s you and him, that’s it.  He doesn’t want or need to “spice things up”.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He prefers giving.  He loves your taste and how easily he can get you to cum with just his tongue.  He can feel your pleasure through the force which only drives his further.  Granted he needs to be mindful of where his horns are when you clamp him head between your thighs but that’s neither here nor there.

He’ll certainly accept you going down on him, but he knows it’s not as pleasurable for you to have a metal cock in your mouth no matter how good it feels for him.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

He can be slow an sensual, but it almost always devolves into rough desperation.  He’s a man of wild passions and it shows in the marks on your thighs the next morning.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

You’re almost always the one to initiate them.  He says he can wait until the evening, but he’s often left working well into the night and forgets.  You take it upon yourself to strive into his office and tell him you need a good fuck.  That will get him away from the paper work long enough to leave your legs shaking and his mind a little more clear.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He’s willing to try something you propose so long as you discuss it properly before hand.  He wants to make sure you’re safe before trying anything.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

It’s absolutely insane how high his stamina is.  For one, he’s got a mechanical cock that doesn’t actually get soft even after he cums.  Second, his reliance on the force allows him to recoup faster than normal.  He can go for an many rounds as you can stand for as long as you want.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

That will be a negative.  He doesn’t have any toys and the idea of you having a toy when all you have to do is ask he finds more than a little insulting.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He always does it when he’s trying to win an argument or make a point, and it’s infuriating.  He likes hearing you beg or admit he was right all while he teases you clit with the promise of more.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Maul gets loud.  It’s almost a defiance.  His master would not allow him anything like this singular happiness with another being and now he’s taking it at his own pleasure.  He screams and growls and moans and begs and every other noise in the book.  He wants people to hear.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Maul wants to have kids with you, and that fact that he can’t really aches at him.  He wants something that is truly his own; a legacy outside of the Sith, a final defiance to the master who abandoned him.  They would be the best of both of you and unparalleled in their power.  Nothing would stand in their way.  He can see it in his minds eye every time you fall asleep in his arms.  But, it can never be.  If Mother Talzin had figured out a way to make life without the need of Zabrak men, he wouldn’t have been a Night Brother in the first place.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Like I’ve said, Maul’s entire lower half is mechanical, including his cock.  Mother Talzin made him one which retracts back in when he’s not aroused.  It’s shaped like a Zabrak male: three ridges, each wider than the last giving him good length and girth (look up Nova: Bad Dragon). It also gives him pleasure, which is better than a dilo and excretes a synthetic cum when he climaxes.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

It’s not so much a sex drive as a yearning for you.  There are times he just wants you, to hold you close, to bury himself inside you and forget anything exists outside of you.  It’s in flux, but it’s certainly higher than most men you’ve known.  You’re having sex at least every other night if not more.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He doesn’t dare fall asleep until you do.  He likes the feeling of your body relaxing beside his as you drift off. He likes knowing you trust him to keep you safe, even in sleep.  Only when he knows there’s nothing lurking in the dark to take you away does he finally fall asleep.

[ailuronymy]

I doubt you'll remember this, because it happened such a long time ago, but it's been bothering me for years now and I wanted to get some closure on it. Many years ago, when I was 14, pretty new to roleplaying and completely new to Tumblr, I sent you an anonymous ask laughing about ridiculous unrealistic things that people were having their cats do in a roleplay I was in. Building blanket forts, among other things, and being transgender. At this point in my life I thought transgender only meant someone who had undergone gender affirmation surgery, and the idea of cats doing surgery on one another was hilarious to me. I shared it with the hope that other people would find it hilarious too. Instead, you told me that I had said The Wrong Thing and called me a bigot. I was confused, I was horrified, I didn't understand at all, and I more or less fled from tumblr for about two years. It was a formative experience for me.

Hello there. I do actually remember that post, although obviously since you were anon then as well, I didn’t remember you specifically. But I do remember. 

I thought about how to answer this ask for a few days. I’m not sure exactly what it is you’re looking for from me, but I’m going to give you the best reply I can and I hope that’s good enough for the both of us. 

When you wrote in to me, about eight years ago, I was younger than you are now. I was nineteen and I’d only been on tumblr for a bit over a year at that point, I think. I’d never had social media before, of any kind. It was all pretty new to me as an experience too, and I’d never expected this blog to get the attention that it did. I never even imagined that was a possibility. But it happened and I learned how to run a relatively popular ask blog on the job, as it were. 

There’s a lot I regret when I look back on that early era of this blog. The humour and jokes I allowed and sometimes encouraged and said myself here was often not kind, and that’s something I really regret. Eventually, I put an end to that because it just wasn’t the kind of thing I wanted any of us who have fun here to be doing. But I absolutely allowed it to happen for a long time first, and that’s on me. 

Also at that same time, there was a particular way of interacting on tumblr that was very popular. It was a lot of exuberance and hyperbole and insults, and being rude for fun, and overall very over-the-top and often harsh or just plain uncaring that there was someone else at the other end of the message. For everyone who was here in 2012, I think you can probably remember what it was like. It wasn’t a nice mode of communication, but it was popular and got great responses and a lot of people found it fun to read. For a couple of years after I started Ailuronymy, I was absolutely guilty of buying into it and acting this way, until I finally hated it enough to stop. It wasn’t who I wanted to be, in general or on this blog specifically. It felt mean and inauthentic and I wanted to be better. But I did act like that for a long time, and that was a choice I made. 

I’m not saying any of this because I want to make excuses for myself. I’m more aware than anyone else of the problems early on in this blog’s history, and it’s something I regret and wish I could go back to do differently with the knowledge and experience I have now. Unfortunately, I can’t change the past. I can only own up to it and do better going forward. 

I’m sorry for the tone I often used, including to you in that post, and I’m sorry that because of that behaviour, you felt scared and unwelcome here. That’s a failure on my part. I shouldn’t have used the tone I did, or assumed I had to take a defensive, intense stance the way I did. It’s very sad to me to know that because I did that, you were frightened and decided to leave. 

However, I would like to share my context too. Because at the time, I was nineteen years old (which I know probably sounds ancient to younger teens, but it’s not, really), and a bisexual guy (which I still am, obviously), and Ailuronymy was already a place that people (especially queer people) in the fandom were looking to for support and education. Insofar as this blog was developing a niche, that was it. I felt a significant amount of responsibility to champion and defend the people this blog was made for. 

2012 was also a time when the Warriors fandom on tumblr was genuinely very homophobic, and also quite volatile. It was common for people to be very angry (in general, and often at me) for saying that ableism isn’t okay, or that Warriors characters can be trans, or sometimes just “canon naming doesn’t make much sense.” I got quite a lot of hate mail--also sometimes just... confused, angry mail, for this naming system or any of the political things I talked about--and I was doing the best I could with what I had to give. A lot of what I learned during my years of running this blog came from making mistakes, but I always did my best.

The reason I’m bringing this up is because what you actually said was: “these cats can be homosexual, asexual, bisexual, pansexual, and transgender--don’t even ask me how that’s possible. I don’t want to know.” You came to me, a queer man, running a blog that in no small part is about how queerness is allowed to exist in this fandom and is in fact not implausible, during a time when the fandom as a whole was solidly anti-queer, with something like that. Like you said, you shared it with me--and the readers here--because you hoped we would find it hilarious and unrealistic too. 

But I didn’t, because, to me, that’s just what a lot of the fandom already was. It was a hostile environment that regularly argued that queer characters, or people, had no place here. That was the kind of things people on anon fairly often came to yell in my inbox about how I’m wrong, etc. etc., and how I’m bad, etc. etc. 

I reacted defensively, which I wouldn’t do now, because I’m much older, and I have experience and confidence I just didn’t then. At the time, though, what I heard in your ask was “queer characters are absurd and don’t belong here, don’t correct me,” and that is what I reacted to. I’m sure for you, it felt scary and disproportionate, and as I said before, I wish I had handled things differently, and gentler. 

But I don’t disagree with what I said. The points I made weren’t wrong. And my response--although not how I would respond now--was not wrong, even though it hurt you. It genuinely is horrible to know that because of my lack of tact, you were scared. It was also horrible to receive your ask at the time, just like many of the rest. It wasn’t hypothetical to me, because I’m queer. It was about me, and other people I care about very much.

The fact I’m queer is probably news to you, and you were new tumblr and probably didn’t know what was going on in the fandom, and maybe you would have said something different if you knew all this. 

Likewise, though, you were on anon and I didn’t know who you were. I didn’t know you were fourteen. I didn’t know you were asking in good faith, and not just another one of the homophobic fans thinking you’d found a friend in me, which frankly felt a bit insulting. I didn’t know you were and, again, although I wish I did more back then and was kinder in my approach, I didn’t have insight into your intentions. I also didn’t have the maturity for that not to matter.

That said, even in my very imperfect answer I tried to give you the benefit of the doubt. I specifically said:

“Before you think I’m victimising you - I’m not. This is not personal right now; currently, this is a mistake on your part, and I understand that mistakes are incredibly easy to make. If, by the end of my post, you get where you went wrong here, then it will be like this ask of yours never happened and I will forget you ever said it. I don’t like to hold any kind of grudge if there’s any way to avoid it, and an acknowledgement of where you went wrong here would completely fix everything about this.”

&

“So what you’re saying when you say that you don’t believe that “homosexual, asexual, bisexual, pansexual, and transgender” cats are possible in the context of Warriors is, basically, that you’re a bigot. I am really sorry to say that, because the chances are - I sincerely hope - that you aren’t. You’re a good person. You’re a good person who said something bigoted by mistake. And if you don’t believe what you’ve said is a mistake yet, let me show you some interesting true facts about our world.“

Because I know how easy it is to make mistakes and how hard it is to get everything right all the time, and know everything, and never do something dumb or hurtful. It’s easy to fuck up. I’ve done it a lot. The answer I gave you back then is just one example.

That what you took from my answer was only fear and confusion isn’t something in my control, however. I hate that that’s what happened, and I regret not being who I am now back then, but even though I did fuck up back then, I still did what I could at the time to mitigate the damage and reassure you that a mistake doesn’t define you. I am sorry it wasn’t enough for you to feel okay coming back. But I can’t say I’m sorry for telling you that coming to me on my blog with that kind of mentality is something I’ll tolerate at all. 

Ultimately, I’m sorry that our experience of each other was not a good one. I’m sorry that your memory of me is someone scary and mean, and that you felt you had to leave this site entirely for two years because of it. I regret that my actions left you with such a negative experience, because that was never my intention, even though the way I handled things with you was very poor. 

I hope you’re able to find the closure you’re looking for and I genuinely wish you all the best. 

[xoxo-ren-xoxo]

Tommy’s (and Tubbo’s) Character /rp /dSMP

This is a bit of a rant so like be warned. I have nothing against any CCs mentioned in this, this is all roleplay, lighthearted, and just a bit of fun analysis. Mostly this is a ramble about how I see certain people analysing Tommy’s character on tumblr and twt, and why I think they’re wrong. This isn’t directed at anyone specific, just a trend I’ve been seeing that kinda irks me. I don’t dislike the fandom, just a few ‘takes’ have been really weird for me.

TW for everything below: analysing the effects of trauma, abuse, manipulation, gaslighting, and lack of therapy.

I’m not really liking how victim-blamey everyone is getting currently in the dSMP, both in fandom and canon. In canon with certain characters but especially in fan analysis posts and especially about Tommy and Tubbo. People legitimately celebrating that Tommy might start ‘apologising’ for his actions more and 'growing as a person' somehow don’t realise that hes been made this way through a tonne of negative reinforcement. abuse, and gaslighting. And people blaming Tubbo for actions he had no choice in, rather than the actions he did choose.

Currently, as I see it, Tommy is so scared that anyone would find a reason to be pissed off at him that his fighting spirit has been completely crushed. He was exiled and abused when he should have been helped and given an understanding figure to guide him and teach him how to deal with things non-violently. In everyone’s eyes, the problem was that Tommy was creating violence with no real reason, acting recklessly and commiting crimes. Tubbo, having made him a part of his cabinet, knew that this would only harm the country. So instead of talking to him reasonably, he got angry, put him on trial, and punished him with the logbook (humiliating him by making him report back to Fundy, which he obviously hated). Tommy’s actions were, of course, bad, but did he deserve everyone ganging up on him? No. Especially when Tubbo was supposed to be in his corner, helping him out like he always said he would (”It’s me and you vs Dream” etc). This is the first betrayal of trust from Tommy’s POV. He doesn’t understand what he did wrong to its full extent, and no one can explain it to him. 

However, Tubbo was under a lot of pressure from Dream and George, and he’s a literal child President, so his ‘safety over friendship’ actions are understandable. I don’t believe Tubbo is solely to blame for anything he’s done in season 2, but it can’t all be excused. If you are to blame Tommy for his recklessness, you have to blame Tubbo, at least partially, for his disregard for Tommy’s feelings and mental state. There were other ways to go about the entire thing, including the trial, which was just horrible to watch, and agreeing to give Dream the disc, something Tommy gave him in pure confidence that it would be safe with Tubbo. Yikes moment.

At that time, Tubbo knew a lot of things about Tommy. In fact, he probably knew the most about Tommy out of anyone on the server. He knew the discs were incredibly important and a comfort item for Tommy. He knew Tommy had trauma from being exiled in the past. He knew Tommy was abused, or at least manipulated by Wilbur, in addition to growing up in war. Wilbur once told Tommy to stop being reckless, and Tommy listened, changing his attitude because he looked up to Wilbur so much. Then Wilbur said ‘let’s be the bad guys’ and stopped trying to mentor Tommy. There’s a conflict here, because Tommy was told by Wilbur that he wasn’t good enough to be President (links to the idea of ‘not being strong enough’) but he knows that Wilbur was a bad person. But Tommy is never given the chance to reconsile his feelings surrounding Wilbur, both because of Ghostbur and because of the conflict he starts with George. So he is harbouring a mixture of emotions about his mentor and brother, not understanding how to untangle the ‘real Tommy’ from the manipulated boy he became. 

What was going through his head when he stole from George and griefed him? Perhaps the thought that he needed to show he was still the same old Tommy. Maybe the need to ‘prove himself’ as a strong person? It could have just been an outlet for his trauma. He’s grown up in a world where everyone is either a friend or an enemy. George isn’t a friend. How was he supposed to know that hurting him was bad?

Tubbo was pressured into the actions he took against Tommy, but he was pressured far too easily. There is no moment where Tubbo turns to Tommy and makes sure he’s okay, he views him as ‘selfish’ and overdramatic, and sees his actions that way. This makes sense from Tubbo’s POV, he’s struggling to be President in ways that Wilbur *knew* he would, but in Tommy’s eyes this is the worst betrayal he’s ever known. The moment Tubbo (rightfully, but poorly executed) defies Tommy’s plan to hire Technoblade (ahem, seeing Techno as a weapon again) and exiles Tommy is the moment their friendship shatters. They’re two people who don’t understand each other anymore. Two people who are technically in the right, but only hurt each other. 

What Tommy needed was a therapist, instead he had Dream, who put out the fire of rebellion that made him so strong, and Techno, who was trying to help but doing it in the wrong way. 

People see tommy's change post-exile as a good thing because he's not as rebellious anymore and he’s thinking things through a lot before he does them, but they will soon realise that his rebellion was one of his best traits and the fact that no one saw it as anything but a problem really shows. He now second-guesses himself so much and is so scared of being wrong that everything seems too difficult and too dangerous. Every trait can have a positive and negative side. Tommy's defiant nature would have made him the perfect negotiator with a little practise. In fact, he had plenty of good ideas before he was exiled (using spirit against Dream, though it didnt work in the end, for example). The negative side of this was recklessness and the desire to cause problems on purpose, but what he needed was a friend (looking at you Tubbo) who understood that hes been through several wars, was manipulated by Wilbur, and hasnt known a time of peace where everyone who wasnt on his side was out to kill him. Now that ‘fight’ is gone he's just become easier to manipulate.

He may be getting better (see: telling Dream to go fuck himself) but there hasn't been any long-term growth because he was never told what kind of rebellion was good and what was bad. He was just told it was all bad. By Dream (and by Tubbo). Who he doesn't trust. So he's just going to revert back to his old ways because no one told him what was bad in a way that didn't make him feel like everyone was against him. Dream is the enemy (though Tommy’s feelings towards him are complicated, they make his brain go all ‘flippy floppy’) and Dream told him that rebellion was bad, so rebellion must be good always, right? 

And then there's Techno. Techno did nothing wrong except for when he did. Techno is 100% right except for when he isn’t. He doesn't understand Tommy because Tommy was never fully open about what Dream had done and how it affected him. That's not Tommys fault though, because who the fuck openly talks about their trauma? So neither of them are to blame for pretty much anything up until the confrontation at the community house. 

However, Techno's methods and ideology were not what Tommy needed. He was thrown from one extreme to another over and over again, from complete subservience to total rebellion. Neither of these inforce good attitudes in Tommy. One, as stated before, makes it so that he will regain his negative traits again. The other reinforces those violent traits as good, just like Wilbur did. The only difference is that Techno had good intentions, he wasnt trying to use Tommy, which is why he feels so used when Tommy 'betrays' him (Techno doesnt realise that he himself betrayed Tommy by teaming with Dream, he sees it more as a transaction than a personal thing). Techno feels so hurt by Tommy ‘viewing him as a weapon’ that he goes on with his no-mercy attack, completely dropping Tommy at his lowest point. 

Tommy says he doesn't want to be like everyone he's hated. In fact, he say's he is 'worse' than all the villains. This is very obviously untrue, though he was clearly going down a dangerous path with Techno's influence (see: bullying Fundy, spawning wither, kidnapping Connor, and saying that the discs are more important than Tubbo, more on that later). He's not a villain but who exactly has said he's not a villain. Dream? Techno? Neither of them can be trusted in his eyes. They say he's a good guy, Wilbur wanted to be the bad guy, who's right? He doesn't know. He has a crisis of morality. 

And? Some people want to point at that and say 'aha! Character development! He's finally realising his actions have a negative affect on others!' OH GOD NO??? He's a *child* who thinks that he is worse than his abuser. Does that sound like positive character growth to you? 

Lastly, the discs. We know theyre a comfort item blahblahblah. He hates himself for valuing them more than he values Tubbo. He's literally innocent in this. He’s been horribly manipulated by Dream to believe that the discs are worth anything. Theyre really not worth anything if they are being used as tools rather than, yknow, discs. My poor boy. He doesnt trust people, so what can he trust? The discs. But then he says it out loud and realises he misses Tubbo and he wants to be with his best friend again and and and WAHHHH. This also isnt really character growth its just fucking sad leave me alone. 

Anyways what the fuck guys. @ Niki and Jack what the fuck. Yeah we get it it’s miscommunication but wtf. Kinda worried that the actual lore will make Niki and Jack’s hatred of Tommy justified in some way and take on a big victim-blamey vibe, but I’m hoping that everyone is smart enough to not do that. I cannot praise Tommy enough for how he’s portrayed his character. I’m currently hoping that he himself understands the true complexity of it all. I’m sure he does.

Mostly though im actually pissed off at all the people praising tommy's character for 'maturing' when hes literally just got trauma. Nice one, tumblr and twt users. Thanks. Great job. He hasnt 'learnt his lesson', he’s traumatised. What the fuck.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk, leave your responses in the reblogs and comments.

[mikaze-discord]

Love letter project ♡

Sooo to celebrate the 4th anniversary of Shining live, I put together a project! I basically got a bunch of people to write a love letter for their favourite boy. Things like, why they like them, how they got to like them and what they like about them were all accepted!

The event was supposed to have 2 fans for each boy but unfortunately I was unable to get two for some of the boys. 

Under the cut will be the love letters for all of Class A!!! Please enjoy~ And thank you for all the people who participated in the event and taking the time to write the love letters out. 

CLASS A

OTOYA ITTOKI

From @ponzu-penzui:

Hello world! My nickname is Yuki, and I’m here to tell you about the sunshine boy that is Otoya Ittoki. The redhead of the series, Otoya is your seemingly a-typical sunshine in a mascot boy character. But, as we all know with these types, the sunshine isn’t as, well, sunshine as they seem. Or, if you didn’t know, well… spoiler alert I guess. Go watch the anime, or play the otome games, then come back here. Anyways, let’s get started on our journey, shall we? Through the rabbithole that got me here in the first place!

Otoya immediately became my best boy the second I saw him. I’m not quite sure what immediately got me at first, whether it be his red hair and eyes, his voice, or his immediate friendliness, but here we are. I should also mention that UtaPri was my first idol anime, so I was completely unaware what was going to hit me later. And, if you’ve watched the entire anime, you know where I’m going.

Season 4 was an emotional wreck. I cried at least twice. Did I have a newfound appreciation for Otoya after all that heartache? Definitely. Without spoilers, it was incredibly painful for me to watch, but I don’t regret it.

After watching the anime, I soon found out about the existence of Shining Live. So, with no other UtaPri content to binge, I started to play SL in late 2018. After playing for a little more than a year, I tiered in my first Otoya event (Heartwarming Snow Festival), and achieved my first top 200. Ever since then, I’ve tiered in every Otoya event, getting top 200, then top 100.

But, why do I like Otoya Ittoki even to this day? Well, I guess this is the time where I say that, after a certain point, I started to see bits of myself in Otoya. This led me to start to RP him, and, as you probably know if you’ve ever roleplayed a character before, I started to look at the miniscule amount of translated game content (many thanks to the Ohayaho Translation Team) for, well, more content. And content I did receive. Long story short, this only served to solidify Otoya as my favorite boy of not only UtaPri, but from all anime/manga/game content I’ve ever seen/watched. His cheerfulness may have been the first thing that got me in this rabbithole, but his backstory and how he managed to grow up pulled me in even further. And, I don’t think I will or want to get out anytime soon.

Next one from; Anon

As much as we all know our Otoya for how sweet and kind he is, there is so much more to him than just a precious smile. He is uplifting, cheerful towards everyone he meets. He has empathy and goes out of his way to make sure his friends are happy. Even so, Otoya has feelings that aren’t always happiness and smiles. He can feel sad and angry just like anyone else.

The reason I care and love Otoya so much is because he has shown me that I don’t have to always put on a smile. It’s nice to show off your pearly whites, but sometimes, it’s okay to be sad too. There are times in everyone’s life when they feel out of place and that they don’t belong. Otoya also felt this way and that’s perfectly okay. He’s still being the best idol he can be: The idol that Otoya loves the most.

MASATO HIJIRIKAWA

From Anon: 

Masato Hijirikawa. Why do I like Masato Hijirikawa? I like him to the point that it feels weird for me to even question why I do. He's just- a good boy. A great boy. I love him. As a joke, I'd usually say that it was his weirdly pretty, bowl-cut hairstyle that drew me to him, or I'd say that he caught my interest when I read that he was "very good with his hands" (wink wonk) in his Shining Live description, and while both of these reasons are still true, it wasn't until I started role playing him in an old server that I really started to appreciate his character more.

Masato, despite his aloof and almost "perfect" initial image, is a very relatable character. When he first arrived at Saotome (in-game) he wasn't necessarily seen as someone with a lot of talent to become an idol, which he acknowledged with grace and worked hard to make up for. He's humble despite his privileged upbringing and is incredibly self-aware of his flaws, which are sources of insecurity for him sometimes (a lot of times). Though it should be said that most of this insecurity stems from not having a lot of control over his early life, which is why it felt so gratifying to see him break free of his metaphorical chains to pursue his happiness without any doubts. He's a hard worker and is willing to accept criticism with open arms, not only for himself but for the people around him. Despite his traditional upbringing and nature, he's very receptive to change as long as it benefits both him and STARISH. He values the people he cares about more than anything, which is why he constantly strives to be a better version of himself every day, not only for himself but for the people around him.

Though his stoicism sometimes makes him seem plain or even "boring" to some people, he hides a warm, hidden passion within that's just as bright as everyone else's. Like the springtime bloom of cherry blossoms after winter, Masato shows his passion and love with no restraint to anyone who takes the time to understand him, and I can very much attest to this. I love him a lot and I hope to see more content of him, STARISH, and the others for more years to come.

NATSUKI SHINOMIYA

From uh....me:

HELLO I’m Z~ also known as the mod of the mikaze-discord/utapri-hcs tumblrs, as well as the organiser for the event! But enough about myself, let's talk about Natsuki Shinomiya.

When I first watched the anime as a youngin, I had already known about the games and their plots but had decided to try out the anime as well since I had nothing better to do.

Natsuki was actually one of my least favourite characters in the anime just because of how they presented him. I just...didn't care for him at all. He was just some random tall guy who loved hugs and almost murder…. Yeah.

I’m sure like most, I had a changing point. Originally, I was a Tokiya rper but...I was just unhappy with how my Tokiya was, I wasn't as experienced in rping with that server being my first rp server i was ever in. I didn't feel like I matched up with the others. I felt my Tokiya was just lacking something, substance maybe. Another person actually had a similar feeling and had changed their character from Camus to Syo and since we already had an Ai, I had just decided to go with the flow and complete the rest of the cute team. Best decision of my life. I’m so grateful for Natsuki and everything I associate him with. Without him, I probably wouldn't have made my tumblrs, I wouldn't have stayed in that server, I wouldn't have gone looking for other servers to rp in. I don't think I would be the same without Natsuki. I just find him so endearing now, he is just a lovable giant who happens to be able to be a disney princess. He is just so darn cute damn it. , just look at his Christmas card, his King card, quite literally just half his Shining live URs. Also, just like his songs just slap. Natsuki to me, is just serotonin. He gave me so many opportunities that I could have missed. I don't even think I would have started this love letter project without him if I’m being completely honest. I genuinely enjoyed all the memories I made as Natsuki. Thank you to Natsuki and to the Mikaze-discord for basically starting me off.

From Luke:

Natsuki was actually the very first character I encountered before I got into utapri. A friend showed a photo of him and told me that I'd probably be into this guy. She sure was right! After installing shining live for the first time and having a familiar face on the screen, I grew curious of him each day and just had to find out why was so attracted to him. The fact that I've seen him so many times in the past was haunting me, telling me that this man actually watched me grow up from a distance without even knowing his name. It sounds weird but I find it rather comforting for someone who doesn't want to be protected but isn't strong enough to defend myself alone.

The thought of having him there was enough to get me through the day and gave me enough reason to wake up to the next. I admit I may have adapted some of his habits after looking after his account for a year but that isn't a bad thing if it means that it would turn me into a much better person than I am now. I guess you could say we've grown together now in a sense, preserving the feelings and just living through the moment no matter how happy or sad it is. What's important is that we're not alone in all things we do and in everything we feel, there will always be someone there to keep us moving when we feel like giving up.

[santastic]

the big, bad wolf || hwang hyunjin oneshot

》》 pairing: hyunjin x female reader

》》 summary: every year, you and the boys celebrate halloween with a party at hyunjin's - who just so happens to be your mortal frenemy. every year, you all dress up. this year, however, you decide to make it a bit more interesting: everyone picks an outfit for their random secret santa partner. it seems like a bit of innocent fun, but felix has an idea...

》》 word count: 2.4k

》》 genre/tags: halloween au, not quite e2l but e2 like...sexy tension???, suggestive themes (mostly just implications), a little bit of crack lmao

》》 warnings: cliche cheesy dirty flirting (come on hyunjin you're better than this), thicc romantic and sexual tension, reader is a simp in denial, suggestive themes, implied smut at the end, talk of biting but no actual biting, reader has dom vibes, hyunjin is bold until someone else is bolder

》》 notes: my first oneshot on this blog! I already wrote a halloween drabble, but I felt like writing something bigger than that and my friend (I see u vi) inspired me by suggesting some spicy hyunjin content. n e ways, happy halloween everyone! and if u don’t celebrate halloween, I hope u have a lovely weekend <3

navigation || skz masterlist

Halloween is always fun with your friend group. I mean, it's fun anyway - lots of cheap candy, neighbourhood celebrations, an excuse to get way too drunk - it's just a lot more fun with eight other crackheads.

You guys have a sort of tradition going by now, even though each year is a bit different. Hyunjin throws the party, Minho brings the alcohol and hides it from Chan until it's too late to stop everyone from getting shitfaced, Jeongin and Felix bring ungodly amounts of candy, and Jisung is a skeleton (literally every single year - it started when you called Tate Langdon's skeleton makeup hot, and it never ended).

Everyone (except Jisung) keeps their costume a secret - unless they're Chan and Felix, in which case they do couple costumes and keep it a secret from everyone else. Sometimes you even decide on a theme, like the year before the last, where everyone was supposed to dress as their favourite Pokemon. This inevitably led to intense fighting roleplays to assert dominance as your respective type, and in order to spare your reputation in the neighbourhood, you decided the next theme would be a little less wild.

This year, the theme was 'secret Santa costumes', meaning you each picked a random name from a hat to decide who you would be buying a costume for and a few days before Halloween, you were given your own costume to wear to the party by whoever pulled your name from the hat of destiny.

Technically that's not how secret Santa works, but no one questions Chan when it comes to holiday business.

You just so happened to get Jisung, and while the temptation to keep the skeleton thing going just for the meme was definitely there, you ultimately decided he should be a classic bedsheet ghost - except with no eye or hand holes cut out. You know, to add a little sprinkle of chaos to his already very chaotic life.

The lovely boy who decided your spooky fate was Felix, who had coincidentally been in charge of buying Hyunjin’s costume too - when you asked why, he said it was because the number of people was uneven, so he had kindly volunteered to take on an extra. You had honestly expected him to pick something weird or wild for you, so you were quite surprised by the outfit he had settled on.

"Is this...little red riding hood?" you had asked, eyebrows furrowed in confusion as you stared at the dress and hood in your hands.

"Yep! I saw it the other day and I thought it would be nice to go for one of the classics, you know?" he had explained, smiling as if he was ever so proud about his decision. Something about the hint of mischief in his eyes made you suspicious, but you had let it slide. "You don't mind, right?"

No, you didn't mind. You had given Jisung a ghost costume, so you didn’t really have room to speak on the originality of Felix’s decision. Besides, the dress didn’t look too cheap, nor did it look especially short, and the hood-cape made you feel way too powerful for someone wearing a $20 Target costume.

So you really didn't mind at all, until it came to the day of the party. Now, as you stand in the doorway to Hyunjin’s apartment, you suddenly mind a lot more.

”Lee Felix, I’m going to decorate the lawn with your fucking intestines, oh my god!” you whisper-yell to the boy who conveniently manages to dart away with the excuse of needing to help Jeongin open all the candy bags. Your angry eyes follow his retreating blue form - Chan picked his outfit this year, and of course he decided Felix should be an Among Us character.

Everyone in the group knows about the slight tension (read: obvious beef) between you and Hyunjin. Technically speaking, you’re friends. He invites you to his parties, you hang out with him when he’s with the boys. It’s just that neither of you can stand each other, because you’re both very bold and even more stubborn.

Whenever the two of you are together, you bicker like children and it’s pretty much endless. You could probably throw insults (and the occasional murder threat) at each other all day if the other members didn’t interrupt, and on those days you’d be more than happy to teach Hyunjin a lesson with a nice, strong punch in the nose if the opportunity were ever to present itself.

So, with this in mind, it’s quite clear why you’re planning Felix’s murder when you see Hyunjin walking around as the big, bad wolf.

You’re genuinely considering sneaking out the front door before anyone else sees you and running back to your apartment (because Felix just so happens to be your ride home), but fate decides to mess with you and suddenly, Hyunjin locks eyes with you from across the living room.

The way a huge smile instantly graces his pretty face sends a rush of butterflies, followed by anger, through you as you stare back at him. His clip on wolf ears are admittedly quite cute, but the fake fangs he’s wearing send your thoughts in a very different direction. As he makes his way over, you suddenly wish you had followed Felix to the kitchen - at least they keep the alcohol in there. In his living room, you’ve got no choice but to deal with Hyunjin while sober.

”Well, would you look at that? Seems like I found my little red riding hood.” he teases with a wink, leaning against the wall beside the door.

When you scoff at him, he gives you another big grin and you can’t help but stare at the fangs again. The vibrant blue contact lenses he’s wearing make his gaze feel intense even when he’s smiling, and the way his long, blonde hair falls freely gives him a glow that’s both angelic and positively demonic. He looks so annoyingly handsome, as per usual; if only his personality wasn’t the personification of the words ‘cocky asshole’. You can’t help but think it’s a huge waste of beauty.

“Excuse me-” you begin, ready to start the first round of arguing, but he cuts you off like the annoying brat he is.

“You’re excused,” he says, thinking his comment was very smart, and if it wasn’t a night meant for fun and games, you might’ve killed him on the spot.

“Fine, excuse you. I’m not your little red riding hood. In fact, I’m not your anything, thank you very much,” you snap, brushing past his tall figure as you head to the table the boys have set up to the side. There’s an array of Halloween-themed food, prepared by Chan, and you settle for a red velvet cupcake decorated with black frosting and what you assume are meant to be cat ears poking out of it.

“Right, sure, but we’re still matching tonight. It’s kind of like-”

This time, you cut him off. “It’s not like Chan and Felix. It’s not. We’re not wearing couple costumes, so don’t say it.”

He shuts his mouth (finally) and you take it as your cue to leave before he says something else to piss you off. Unfortunately, he seems to have the desire to ruin your night further and chooses to follow you on your journey.

“So anyway, I guess this was Felix’s plan, right?” He gestures to your costumes. “Unless you had something to do with it, that is.”

You don’t bother to address the second part of what he said and instead just nod, scanning the room for the previously mentioned mastermind. As soon as you can get your hands on that boy, you swear you’ll slaughter him for subjecting you to Hyunjin’s torturous teasing all night.

“He was already on thin ice after trying to tell me Bulbasaur is a better starter than Charmander, but now he’s actually dead to me,” you growl out once you spot him sitting beside Minho, laughing happily with his classic red solo cup and a slice of chocolate cake. Jeongin sits beside them, tearing open bags of candy with no assistance from Felix, because of course he was lying about helping him earlier.

Hyunjin laughs softly and you curse your heart for skipping a beat at the sound. Sometimes it feels like your head hates Hyunjin while your body is stupid enough to like him, and it’s part of the reason why you hate talking to him so much. Every time you stop throwing insults and sass at him and instead sit back and listen to what he has to say, a part of you realises you don’t exactly have a proper reason for disliking him. He’s not all that bad, and sometimes you even find yourself laughing at his jokes and witty remarks.

But you’d really rather not go through the endless cycle of those thoughts right now, especially when the cause of your problems is standing beside you eating a chocolate bar.

“I have to say, though,” you comment as you turn to look him up and down, “the big, bad wolf concept suits you pretty well.”

Before he can accept the compliment, you continue. “You’re both big, hairy beasts who dress like grandmas.”

The obvious offence on his face is so satisfying you almost wanna snap a photo to reflect on this moment in the future, but you refrain from doing so. He would just pose anyway, and the photo would probably end up making your stupid heart flutter again.

“Well, at least you think I’m big. Besides, if dressing like a grandma gets me closer to eating you, then I suppose it’s a sacrifice I’ll have to make,” he whispers in a husky, seductive voice that kind of makes you want to choke-slam him, but you suspect he might enjoy that anyway.

It angers you when he makes flirty comments like that, because as annoying as they are and despite you knowing full well he only says it to get under your skin, it still makes your heart race every time. Maybe in another universe, Hyunjin is a sweet boy who innocently flirts with you and brings you roses instead of a big, bad bitch who’s just acting like a horny teenager. Annoyingly enough though, you think you’d fall for him either way.

You turn away with the intention of finally escaping to the kitchen to grab something to drink, hoping to settle the thoughts dancing around your head, but he reaches for your wrist. The feeling of his fingers pressing warmth into your skin just makes your head spin even more, and you’re so distracted you don’t pull away from him.

"Aw, don’t run away now. Are you scared of me, little red? There’s no need to be, I’m just joking. I won’t bite unless you beg me to."

You pull your arm back as soon as the words leave his mouth. Hyunjin has a lot of things (a severely irritating personality, a stupidly handsome face for such an asshole, a loud voice solely meant for pissing you off on a daily basis, the list goes on), but the thing he definitely has most is the fucking audacity.

However, the most annoying part by far is the way you feel your face heat up when you register the last thing he said. You’d rather die than let him make you flustered, so you shake your head slightly to clear those thoughts from your mind and look him in the eye again.

"Scared? Me?" you scoff, staring him down with a steady glare and if he was anyone else, he'd probably shiver in fear.

Unfortunately, he is not anyone else. He is Hwang Hyunjin, and Hwang Hyunjin does not shiver; he beams with a smug grin and makes your blood boil.

"Mhm. Look at you. You’re basically dressed as my prey tonight, babe." He purrs the pet name like the absolute fuckboy he is. "And sure, the real you is feisty, but you're all bark and no bite."

The overly confident, proud smirk on his face makes him look like a damn peacock flaunting its feathers, and you decide then and there that you'll do anything to get rid of it.

"All bark," you echo his words, walking towards him slowly, "and no bite, huh?"

You swear you see his eyes widen for a split second at your change in demeanor before the stupid smirk returns, and the little rush of victory you feel from catching him off guard is enough to keep you walking forward.

His gaze never leaves yours, especially when you're standing on the tips of your toes in front of him, noses just barely brushing against each other. Your hands grip his shoulder to balance you, and you run a finger over his collarbone up towards his cheek, where you gently cup his face. The small distance between the two of you means you can hear his slightly uneven breathing and see the curiosity swirling in his bright blue eyes as he waits for your next move.

You reach a hand up and thread your fingers through his long, bleach blonde hair, and his breath hitches when you gently tug at it. Even his wolf ears almost seem to droop submissively. He doesn't dare move, but his eyes keep flicking down to your lips and back up again.

"Now, that's just not true at all, is it?" you whisper, tilting your head as if waiting for an answer, but he can't find the words to form a witty response. It’s about time he learned some manners, really, even if he needed your guidance for that.

"I'm warning you now," you continue, "you might wanna watch your tone. I might look like your prey, but I promise I bite harder than you do, babe."

You make sure to emphasise the pet name, purring it in the same way he did minutes before. He bites down on his bottom lip, and the way his fangs press into them makes you lick your own lips nervously. It seems as though he can't take the tension anymore, because he goes to lean in and finally close the distance between the two of you as his hands find your hips.

Of course, you'd never let him have that control, especially after his bold attitude from earlier. Even though the temptation to lean in is certainly there, you step away from him and smile sweetly.

"Learned your lesson yet, puppy?"

He doesn’t respond for a moment, clearly still taking in what just happened. When he registers your question, he tilts his head to the side as if in thought - the way a dog might, funnily enough - before he hums quietly.

“I’m not sure. Maybe you should teach me once more, little red,” he suggests, voice low and slightly breathless, “but preferably a bit more in depth this time.”

- ᴇ ɴ ᴅ -

(A/N: AHHHHH I haven’t written a oneshot in SUCH a long time oh my god,,,,, it was a lot of fun tho even if I’m not super confident writing full things. this one was short anyway so I kinda feel like it doesn’t count, but I’m still v happy to finally post my first skz oneshot! I hope you enjoyed it and thank you for reading <3)

© santastic  —  all rights reserved. reposting, translating, copying and/or stealing is prohibited. ask permission if you wish to create anything inspired by my original ideas.

[eponymous-rose]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E92 (Jan. 28, 2020)

This week’s guests are Laura Bailey and Marisha Ray!

Announcements: At 4 PM Pacific on February 4, season 2 of All Work No Play premieres! Pre-sale tickets for autographs and photo ops for C2E2 are available now via Epic Photo Ops! Lots of “super-secret but majorly exciting announcements” to come this week on the website!

Episode 92: Home Is Where the Heart Is

Stats for this episode: it has been 69 episodes, 6 levels, and 212 Exandrian days since the Nein last saw the reformed bandits. The Nein haven’t killed anyone since episode 86, a campaign 2 record (Laura: “I know, I’m aching!”). Jester cast her 50th Guidance spell this episode (on herself), and it’s been 50 Exandrian days since the Nein last partook of a bottle of Lionett wine together in Trostenwald.

On initial expectations vs. reality for their characters’ fathers: Laura: “I had no notion of what he was going to be. I literally wrote that he wooed my mom, that he wore lots of rings on his fingers, and that he went off to get his place ready to come meet him, and that was all.” She notes that she knew Jester was half-water genasi, but she wasn’t there the first time they met the Gentleman to ask any leading questions. Marisha: “I had this struggling panic for a while. I didn’t know how he was going to play him. There was a strong possibility in my head that my parents were great, and were just like, ‘We were trying so hard, we’re so sorry.’ It was pretty crazy the way he actually played it. And it did feel like, he sucks, yeah, okay, no.”

On Fjord’s heart-to-heart with Beau: “I felt like Beau and Fjord had good pirate-ship bonding time. It’s been a bit since Beau and Fjord checked in, so that was a cool Fjord-Beau moment that was nice to have, like, we’re still bros, it’s great.”

Jester just wanted to make Beau feel better, especially as she realized that she’d been a little oblivious in cheering about how great her dad was: “It was so crazy, the minute we got there and you reverted back to the initial Beau, the first Beau that we met, and then even further past that. It just killed Jester to see that.” Marisha notes that the moment when Jester pulled Beau aside, she was about to lose it: “I tried to work Beau in a direction of growth, and getting to a point where she’s not angry and snappy and just fucking lashing out at people. So Beau’s going to try to keep her cool, and then I was literally sucking in the air, and you were like, ‘Come here,’ and that was just enough to get the reset button and the calm. She’s not in a place to forgive her parents, but Jester talking about the poison of holding on to all of that was kind of what, I was like, okay. I can use this in that moment to not have to make it about forgiving my parents right now, or ever, but to be able to start to heal and separate from that and that past. And for Beau to forgive herself.” Laura, after the game, was worried that it came across as Jester trying to get Beau to forgive her dad, and Beau notes that not seeing even a fraction of the effort the Gentleman has put forward kind of wiped that possibility out.

Beau’s grown a lot since she was last home. “The Mighty Nein has helped Beau trust in other people around her and come out of her shell and learn how to control her outbursts and her blaming other people and her anger. That’s so far from the Beau that was in that house.” Marisha was actually startled at herself when Beau snapped at Nott over the horse. “It was immediately all those bad thoughts were coming back, so it felt like Beau was on the verge of reverting.” Laura: “Nothing makes you fucking regress to your childhood mannerisms and behaviors faster than going home.”

Jester believes that “love is stronger than anything else”. She knows her parents still love each other, so “any of those other crazy things, they can work through.”

On whether Beau’s dad is really worried about her: “I think he cares to the extent that anyone cares about anyone’s general safety. I think he’s concerned about himself first, and what he has, and then I think he’s concerned about Beau next, after that. But I don’t know, maybe I’m being incredibly harsh. But there is, to this point, that element of what’s the twist.” Laura notes that she got a really high insight check on Beau’s dad. “There’s a reason that I was like, maybe give him open ears” at that moment.

Cosplay of the Week: a very detailed Molly! (GalacticLeah, photo by Fricbergsean)

On potentially leaving the Lionetts destitute if they destroy the hag, Laura and Marisha say, in unison: “Fuck the Lionetts.” They note that they’ve got the resources to make sure T.J. will be fine, and that’s all that really matters.

Has Jester forgiven her father? “I don’t think Jester’s angry at him. She’s very empathetic. She’s very good at going, okay, I see it from your side. And I think she was afraid more that something bad had happened to him. Obviously, if he could have returned, he would have, because he loved her mother so much. So I don’t think she’s angry at him. I don’t think, necessarily, she doesn’t think he’s perfect, but she’s making the best of the situation. I think she’s just happy that he’s around. Make up for lost time.”

Brian asks about how different it is to be supportive of each other and exploring backstories in this campaign versus with the last campaign’s more archetypal characters. Marisha: “It feels like the campaign has been very muddy and not black-and-white. The same for every person’s individual backstory issues.” She notes that there’s a lot more ambiguity. Laura: “Vex wasn’t empathetic. She was sympathetic sometimes, but sometimes when Keyleth was going through something, Vex was like, come on, get your shit together.” Brian notes just how different everyone’s characters are this time around. “It’s awesome!”

Laura notes that TJ ran up to Beau and called her sister, which means that they’ve been talking about her consistently for him to recognize her. “So there is a level there.” Marisha notes that Beau has very mixed feelings about her mom, too. “She’d never offer support, or want to challenge Thoreau.” So now she’s wondering if her mom has been quietly talking her up to TJ, or if it’s both of them. 

Fan Art of the week: Beau and TJ! (by ItsMalenyLopez)

Jester’s perspective on the Gentleman’s partners: “You can sleep with people, but don’t form a fucking relationship with them. That’s the difference.”

Marisha, on working with difficult topics on the show: “The audience goes away in the moment. Yes, it’s hard, yes, it’s cathartic, and yes, it’s something on a whole other level. It’s why roleplaying games are so fucking awesome, because they allow you to do that.” Marisha notes that she has a great relationship with her own parents, but getting to explore is interesting. “It’s hard to describe.” Laura: “There’s a safety there, to be able to dive into these places.” Marisha: “With all of these issues, these issues are skinned, but the root of them are often very relatable issues that everyone goes through. So there is a certain amount of catharsis to that. So while I personally had a good relationship with my parents, I’m accustomed to feeling shut out, feeling misunderstood, going through psychological abuse, all of those things. And, of course, everyone knows someone who has probably experienced those things first-hand, so you can get a sense of understanding in some ways, but there’s layers of everything that you’re doing that can totally think back to things that were from your life.” Laura: “I think that RPGs are so great for just humanity in general, because it really makes you see things from another person’s perspective.” Marisha: “It takes time. I don’t recommend anybody try to do something like this out of the gate with your first game.” Laura: “No, I mean, we’ve been playing this game together as a family now for eight years. And we’re just now getting to stuff like this. All that time of building trust and being able to know, okay, if I go to these levels, I’m going to have the support of the people around me.” Marisha: “The whole thing is a trust fall.”

Jester’s opinion on the M9′s worry about the Traveler’s cultishness? “Well-meaning but paranoid.” Before leaving the Lavish Chateau, she barely told anyone about the Traveler, and they all just accepted him as her imaginary friend. “She knows he’s godly. She knows how powerful he is. There is a little bit of ‘Oh, that’s weird,’ seeing how other gods deal with their... constituents?” Laura notes that she has absolutely no idea what Traveler-Con is going to be like.

Beau has always been aware that her tattoo has the jade/tarot connections with her father as well. “That’s why Beau was so salty with Molly when he was trying to tell fortunes from the beginning. It’s all layered. Didn’t intend for it, but jade just happened to be the one that boosts wisdom.”

Marisha and Laura both note that defeating more traditional enemies can be easily resolved in a way that can be used to block out the things that are really bothering you. Family issues, on the other hand, usually don’t have a simple resolution.

[wolfs-hunt1]

See me after class 4

Pairing: Bucky x reader

Word count: 1573

Warnings: Alchool consuption, sexual themes

A/N: drunk drabble for @the-ss-horniest-book-club​ .  Can’t believe it took me so long to write this, but the ideia I had for it when out the window as soon as i wrote the first few words. I know I might have gotten way off topic XD. So this isnt like i had hoped for, but i do hope you’ll like it.

Part 3  

--- --- --- --- ---

The best part about Halloween season in university? All the parties being planed by the students. They were an annual occurrence, and the talk of the school for weeks before, making the corridors buzz with excitement for them. Some of your classmates were gonna dress up with matching costumes, but you?

You had something else planned. Bucky had agreed to go with you to one of the parties, since he put in for a transfer to another university the two of you could be a bit more open with your relationship, but now you couldn't really gawk up at him during classes anymore. Oh well. It was a small price to pay.

He had also agreed to let you choose your costumes. So you had decided to try and get creative with your costume, and maybe even try something new in the bedroom with him. You had chosen the costumes already, you only needed to hide them for a bit more from Bucky so that you could watch the surprise on his face when you showed him.

The week dragged on, and once the weekend came you were so excited to spend the next week with Bucky you barely managed to keep yourself from jumping up on him when he showed up at your apartment door.

"Wow there." Bucky leans down and gives you a long kiss, before looking longingly at you, "I know you are excited babe, but no need to jump me here in the hallway," he chuckles at you, leading you back inside, "we can wait for when we're inside." he waggles his eyebrows suggestively making you laugh and gently slap his arm.

"I've been two weeks without you, I don't want to wait." you two walk further into the apartment, him taking off his leather jacket and laying it on the back of the couch. You start kissing him, interlocking your fingers in his hair and pulling him to you gently. "I have something for you. It's a surprise." you say between kisses.

He hums and grabs onto your hips, walking you into a walk and moving his lips across your jaw up to your ear. "I do like surprises." he whispers lowly, making a shiver run down your spine. He sucks gently on your neck and gives a little bite before gently licking the spot to soothe the little pain. "So, what did you have planed?"

"I bought us matching costumes, and thought that maybe we could…. do some roleplay with them?" this intrigued Bucky.

"Roleplay? I think I like that idea. So… what costumes did you get us?" you felt giddiness course your veins at his question, so you moved from the wall, and pulled him with you to the bedroom. you walk up to the wardrobe and pull out two big costume bags to put them in the bed for Bucky to see.

"Go on, you can look." you say, a big smile adorning your lips while you waited expectantly for his response. He opened the bags and stopped, looking at the contents for the longest of times. There was a small smirk on his face when he took out the pair of fluffy ears and tail to inspect them better. He noticed the but plug in the tail and looked at you to see you biting your lips.

"Those are for me… and the rest is for you." Bucky put the items on the plush bed covers and looks inside the bags once more, he can see a red shirt, leather pants, and a dark red cape with a hood.

"Oh, I get it. So you're gonna be my big bad wolfy now, are you?"

"And you will be my little red riding hood." you nodded at him, getting closer to him until you stood right in front of him, between the bed.

"But here's the catch. We need to stay in the costumes all night at the party, and we can't do anything before we return home." with this is smile dropped and he forced a pout.

"Ah, babe, but watching you with that tail all night and not being able to touch will be torture to me." You lean ever closer to his body, mischieve in your eyes. You can feel him harden against your body, and so you rub harder against him, making his breath came out in hot pants. You suddenly step away, wanting and disappointment crossing Bucky's face, before he straightens himself up and concedes to your terms.

"Very well, no touching while at the party… but that doesn't mean I can't tease you." you think over his words before answering.

"Deal."

Dressing with Bucky constantly trying to tease and to grope you wasn't easy, he also made you not go to the party twice so you could stay home and fuck like mad rabbits. But you managed to take his insatiable hunger for your body and here you two were at one of the parties that were being thrown by the students.

His red shirt hugged his body in all the right places and the leather pants did little do hide his bulge, which seemed to refuse to leave every time he looked your way. The cape with the hood was a bit on the smaller side, only reaching his knees, but it was enough to know what he was dressed up as.

You had fishnets on with booty shorts, the but plug tail sticking out until your mid-thigh, swishing around every time you moved, its soft fur caressing your skin and making shivers run up your spine. You had also a leather corset, and some high heels on, making you almost as tall as Bucky himself.

His hands go to tour lower back, gently guiding you up the stairs of the frat house, before letting you walk through the door first. The entrance hall is filled with dancing monsters and fairies, everyone holding a cup of some alcohol or another. Everyone's costumes were on point and even the simpler ones had something special that put them apart from the others.

The loud music was making the entire floor boom, and the rumbly bass making your bones shake. You danced a bit around, rubbing up against bucky whenever the other people got too close to you and squeezed you to him. You could hear him hissing softly when your tail pressed up against his bulge, making you smile in triumph. You were so going to make tonight hard on him. Literally.

You did have a lot of compliments on your wolf costume, although you could see the other girl's eyes lingering more on Bucky than they should. That actually made you feel hotter, because you knew you were the one taking him home.

"I see Nat, by the bar, I'm gonna go say hi." you yell over the music, while he nodded at you and walked over to the food table.

"Hi, Nat!"

"(Y/N)!" she throws herself at you, hugging you tightly, making you stumble a bit on your heels and hug her back just as tightly. "You look hot, girl!"

"And you look devilish!", she stared at her. She, in her red lingerie and pair of black wings, was the sexiest rendition of a demon, anyone's probably seen that night.

"Wheres Wanda?"

She smiles and waggles her eyebrows, nodding to the dance floor behind you. "She's busy drooling over Vi." you looked at the place she had pointed to see Wanda and Vision dancing super close together, not even acknowledging anyone around them. "So... What about you? I see you're dressed has a cat?"

"Wolf."

"Or that... did you bought matching costumes for your date?"

"Yes. He's my little red riding hood."

"Wow, I thought it was the other way around?"

"I thought to give it a twist." you grinned, calling the attention of the bartender to make you and Nat some shots. "Besides, he looks hot in those leather pants." you nod at Bucky only to see him swarmed with college girls, wearing even less than Natasha if that was even possible.

"Seems like they are trying to steal your little red. Wanna go wolf them down?" you think for a few seconds and decide that you would. you asked the bartender for some more drinks so you could bring one to Bucky, and walk throw the crowd to them.

"Here you have it, sweetie, your drink." you say seductively, catching Bucky's eye, and the other girls. He took the cup and pulled you to him, ignoring the girl that was cuddling up to his side altogether and pushing her aside.

"And hello back, babe, I missed you when you were gone." he took a sip from the cut, and with his arm still around your waist, moved over to where Nat was laughing her ass off over the girls disappointed and angry faces for having been ignored. "You know I only have eyes for you, right?"

"Oh I do my little red, but you seemed like you needed saving from those harpies, and who best than your own bad wolf?" your voice was but a whisper on his ear, leaving then a trail of nips and kissed down his neck making him shudder.

He didn't take much longer than that. He said goodbye to your friends and grabbed you over his shoulder, taking you home soon after and making you howl his name all night long.

Part 5

[doorsclosingslowly]

snippet time

i finished drafting one of the other scenes from the roleplay fic! featuring no roleplay, no sex, but drinking and murder. to be revised when I have more scenes so I can make all the vibes fit

“And I’m telling you again, I don’t know what he does Tuesday evenings,” Jesper hisses.

“You were still with the Dregs, three months ago!” Kaz is wiping his cane clean. It didn’t even really get dirty—they mostly used kitchen knives to do the deed, and in the case of a maidservant who unwisely came to work in the middle of the night, a bullet that Jesper’s already collected and reshaped into something functional. It’s good, though. The fact he’s cleaning it is all the confirmation Jesper will likely ever get that Kaz does like the new cane. At least there’s one thing of Jesper’s he values. “How can you not know the behavioural patterns of your boss? Are you that brainless?”

“No-one knew what he was up to! He barely came by the Slat. He wasn’t that interested in us.”

“You worked for Per Haskell, Jesper; you worked for that man for years—for nearly as many as I did, when you ran—and now you attempt to convince me you barely know his name?” Kaz still doesn’t look quite as harsh as he used to, or maybe that’s just Jesper hankering for their past. Well, he didn’t used to explain his plans to Jesper as if he was an imbecile—but then, he didn’t used to need Jesper. He had more stooges back then. Now, he only has one. Ally. Friend. “Let me make this clear—we are both hunted. Neither of us can afford to be caught outside on the streets of Ketterdam and let whoever saw us live. If we’re going to make Haskell’s house our temporary base of operations, we need to make his death as inconspicuous as possible. We cannot safely anticipate which of his visitors to eliminate and which to fool unless we know whether they, in turn, may be missed.”

“Well,” Jesper mutters. “Mitki might come by.”

Kaz raises a single, dirt-encrusted eyebrow.

“Mitki’s the newest lieutenant. Might have made it this—”

“Not Anika? I can understand why a flake like you didn’t rise in the Dregs ranks, but she—”

“Ambush. Dime Lions, five weeks after you disappeared.”

“Rotty?”

“Slit throat. Still no clue who did it.”

“Specht? Pim? Neeta? Big Bol?”

“Razorgulls, knife, last year. Hellgate. Hellgate. Hellgate.”

“Muzzen? Ruk? Keeg?”

“Another ‘Gull stabbing, just before I left. Hellgate, again. Keeg just disappeared, though. Might still be alive somewhere over the ocean, if he’s clever. Not that he was, he’s probably floating, poor sod. There’s a reason why I didn’t think twice about running when I lost those fifty thousand. Like I said, boss, it’s been a shitshow since you left. Haskell never wanted for new ones, since he got his kids fresh off the street, but he just stopped giving any shit whatsoever, and since you weren’t there to pick up the slack… well, I can see why he didn’t care, now.” Jesper spares a bitter look for the mountain of kruge next to Haskell’s foot, the mountain he didn’t want to tell Kaz about until Kaz had already half chopped off that extremity. The mountain he’d never have amassed as the boss of a gang as shambolic as the last years of the Dregs.

The mountain that’s going to pay off Inej’s indenture tomorrow.

Haskell allowed her to rot there. It’s only fair he pays for her freedom with his life.

“And you,” Kaz tips Jesper’s chin up with his cane. The world shimmies a little. “You, of all the old Dregs, survived.”

Jesper shrugs. This is too much to confess to Kaz, of all cruel bastards, probably far too much, but—they’re sitting in the living room of Jesper’s former boss, the man who sold Kaz out to the Darkling and used the prize money to live in luxury, while letting his gang die on increasingly pointless haphazardly prepared errands. The other end of the table is still flecked and puddled with slow-drying blood—not to mention the tied up corpse, or corpse-pieces, laying there—but over here, they have a bottle of expensive whisky they found in a cabinet and they’re trading swigs from the bottle, all bitter and clean.

“I didn’t take it too well, when you and Inej just disappeared, and then my friends kept dying. Might have gone on a couple of benders. Might have had some sexual encounters with people who turned out to be massive creeps. I may not have been technically around to be asked to go on some of these errands, or perhaps I just didn’t notice because I was drunk.”

“Jesper.”

He shrugs. It’s not really that humiliating, now he’s said it out loud. Jesper spent two years making bad decisions and occasionally braiding Inej’s hair. Kaz spent that time getting turned into a doll. Who can say what’s worse? He takes another deep gulp and grins. “You know me, boss. I need some external structure in life. I really need a commandeering asshole dragging me into his schemes to be my best self.”

Kaz steals the bottle. It’s incredible, actually, Jesper was just holding it—well, maybe he’s a little more drunk than he thought, but Kaz would probably like being complimented on his pickpocketing. “I didn’t even see you steal that bottle,” Jesper says.

“I’d be angry you’re drunk,” Kaz rasps. “But you’ve been completely useless at all stages of the current plan so far.”

He says that, but his own cheeks are flushed pink with alcohol, too. His pupils are wide when he looks at Jesper. He raises the bottle to his lips and tips his head back, swallowing what should have easily been ten more swigs of whisky. Thieving bastard.

[demivampirew]

Keep Calm and go to London chapter 17

Synopsis: This is the story of (y/n), a successful actress,  musician, musical producer and songwriter. After battling depression and  breaking up a long relationship, she seeks for a change of air,  escaping LA for a while going to visit some friends in London and there  she meets Henry. -Disclaimer: some chapters are mostly smut.

Previous Chapters:

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5 (smut)

Chapter 6

Chapter 7 (smut)

Chapter 8 (smut/roleplay)

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12 (smut)

Chapter 13

Chapter 14 (smut)

Chapter 15

Chapter 16 (smut/ s&m)

Triggers:   Crying; talking about depression, low self-steem and body image issues; talking about toxic relationships.

Tag list:  Here’s the incredible people who showed me support (thank  you    so  much for that) and people who asked me to tag them too  ☺️   (I    think  I will write a few chapters of this story, if you want me to  tag     you, tell me ☺️   ) @cavillanche @mary-ann84 @henry-owns-these-tatas @yespolkadotkitty @dancingwendigo   constip8merm8     penwieldingdreamer iloveyouyen  littlefreya  wondersofdreaming    alyxkbrl solariumss  sweetybuzz25 @thethirstyarchive @agniavateira   @honeyloverogers @hell1129-blog   @lunedelorient​  @michelle-1185​  

Henry was playing games while you played with Kal, making the little bear follow you around the house. It surprise you the amound of energy that the puppy had. While running, you got caught in the the door knob of one bedroom and ripped the t-shirt you were wearing, living a little hole in it. You cursed because that was one of your boyfriend's t-shirts. You were in trouble, for sure. You put your best sad kitty face and went to Henry to tell him about the t-shirt. He was sitting on the couch with his laptop and closed it after you sat next to him, pointing out that you have something to confess. He put his whole attention on you as you showed him his peace of clothing and apologized, assuring him that you'd tried to fix it. He looked at you with a cute smile and told you that was ok. He was not mad at you at all, "it's just a t-shirt" he said and gave you a kiss on the cheeks to make you feel better and proved to you that he wasn't angry at all. You hugged him and kissed him. He was the best. - I'm still sorry, though. I know you love this t-shirt.- you apologized once again. - It's kind of special.- he admitted. - Where did you bought it? I can replace it, I'll buy you the exact same one if I find it. - I didn't bought it; it was a gift. - From Charlie? Maybe I could send him a direct message in Instagram and ask him where he bought it. I will ask you his phone number, but we haven't officially met yet so he might find it weird if I text him. - No, it wasn't Charlie.- he answered and then took a deep breath before speaking again.- An ex-girlfriend gave it to me for a birthday. - Oh, I see.- you replied and went silent for a moment. - Was it Lucy? You questioned curiously. He raise an eyebrow and looked at you. - No, not her. - he said with a suspious tone. - Tara, Gina? -you asked again. -Sorry, I'm really curious - you said smiling - Tara. - he informed you - Wait, how do you know my exs's names? I never said her names to you? - he pointed out and you blushed of embarresment. "shit" you thought. - Have you been googling me by any chance? - I had to make sure you were not a serial killer - you joked, making an "ops" face. - I'm curious. I wanted to know how were the girls that you dated before me. - That's ok. I must admit that I googled you as well. - And what did you found out about me? - you were dying to know - That you have more money than me; that you're on the top 20 of Forbes lists of most influencial people; that people adore you on the internet. Basically, that you're ten times more amazing that I thought. Oh, I also found out that you have a college degree from Harvard. - Yep. While it cost me a lot. I practically did not sleep for like 5 years - you joked. It was kind of true, though. - Did you not expected you girlfriend to be the kind of person who goes to college? - I didn't imagine that giving all the work that you've done in your long career you'd had found to study for a degree. - he explained - I'm awesome - you said proudly - Giving my impressive career and my high grades in highschool, I was accepted at Harvard. I had to arrenge a few things to make the time, but I reached my goal. So, now you're in front of a Master of Arts and Doctor of Philosophy. - My baby is smart, damn! - he replied proudly. You gave him the brightest smile. - I found out that you were enganged once.- you continue the topic discused before. - Yes. It didn't work out, though. - Yes, I figured that out. Otherwise, it'd be an interesting situation the one that we're in right now. - Yes, it'd be for sure- he admited while laughing for your comment. - Do you missed them? - you questioned. He gave you a look, trying to see what you expected of him by those weird questions. - Come on, I know that you have a past. I have one too. I won't judge you. I just want to know how you feel about them. Do you still care for them? - Yes. - he admited.- But I don't do it in a romantic way. They were people important to me. Now they're part of my past, but I still want them to be happy. Sometimes I missed them a bit, more nostalgia for the good memories than anything, but I wouldn't go back with any of them, especially since I've met you. Now, I only have eyes for you. - he assured you, kissing your hand. - I understand.- you say smiling.- I still miss Jared sometimes. Like you said, I don't want to be with him at all and I only have eyes for you, but he was a great part of my life. He was the first man I've been with and, until you showed up in my life, he was the only one. - you confessed. You've talked before about having intimacy with few men, but never actually told him that was actually only one man before him. He looked at you surprise. - You are telling me that you only been intimate with two men and I'm one of them? -he asked you, speechless. - Yes. Before Jared I was afraid of being intimate with someone because I've always had body image issues. I didn't felt comfortable with my body and didn't want anybody to see me naked. When I started to date him, I wasn't ready to sleep with him and he respected that. He actually waited a whole year for me to finally be ready to have sex. I think that was another reason why even though it was clear he was not a good boyfriend, I stood with him. I always remembered that he promised to be patient and wait and not force me and he kept his word. After our first breakup, I was in that angry stage of "I hate all men", then soon enough I went to the "I don't hate men, but I don't have time to date either" I concentrated in study and work. Then, when I got back together with him, at first we'd had sex all the time, because despite the fact that I took care of my own pleasure during my time alone, I enjoyed to be intimate with another person that I cared about. But soon enough, things started to go South for us, and we barely had sex or was boring sex and I did most of the work. On one occasion, after a month of not doing it because he was working in his latest album, I put on a sexy lingerie and try to seduce him and he completely ignored me, like I wasn't even there. That broke me. By that point, I was already having body issues again, but that finally got to me and, until I met you, never again felt confident with my body or felt sexy. Knowing that a man like you was interested on me, made me feel great and then my confident side came back to me. - you explain, smiling at him. He kissed your hand again. - You know, I used to like him. I've met him twice and seemed like a nice guy. Now, I kind of want to punch him for hurting you. - He didn't do it un purpose, though. I know, so typical of me to deffend him, but that's true. I've known him for a long time. We were friends before and went through difficult times together until one day our friendship turned into something else. But now, I think those hard times we went through and that we've been surporting each other is the reason why he wanted to be with me. Why everytime we fought and I said that I was leaving he'd beg me to stay... because he knew that not matter what, he could count on me to be there for him. He clearly lost all the love and desire that he once felt for me, on the last period of our relationship I was just his support system; the one person he could count to help him when he need it. He's not a bad guy, but he was selfish. He concentrated on his needs and did not think on what I need it or what was the best for me. When I was diagnosed with major depression last year and was on those periods in which I would cry for entire days, for the first time in our entire relationship, he cancel a few plans to stay with me and hold me while I cried. But he didn't do it for love, no; he did it because he felt guilty. At that moment, he realized that he probably should have let me go, but he couldn't do that. As much as he'd love to have his single life back, he wanted me to be there for him, but he also knew that as soon as I walked out of the door, he would never see me again. So he kept me, unhappy and miserable until I finally realized myself from that toxic life I was living. - you finished and looked at your boyfriend's eyes. Henry was stroking your face and your hair. He looked worried and sad for hearing all you went through. - Your ex girlfriends were lucky. - you told him smiling - They had you. - I'm not perfect. I made mistakes as well, but I always try to look after their needs as well as mine. - That sounds like perfect to me. Perfection is not about not making mistakes, but recognize that you make them and try to correct them. Is not bad to look after your needs, we all need that, it's part of loving yourself, but, in a relationship, you have to care for your partner's needs as well. So yeah, you're the perfect boyfriend.- you assured him and he smiled. - I've seen photos of them and I must admit they're pretty, at least base on looks. The blonde one, Tara, if it wasn't weird, I'd totally high-five you for getting that chick. Even I must admit that she's hot. Although, I'm hotter than her.- you smile devilishly. - One houndred percent, baby. - he agreed. - They must have been really special to you. All of them. I saw the pictures. You'd take them with you to premieres and be by their sides, looking at them with proud. You'd post pictures or videos of them, and even if you're not longer together, you never deleted those things. That proved that they were special to you. I'm really jealous of them. - you admited - Not jealous because they were with you, like I said before, I know you have your past and that's ok, the important is that you're mine now. I'm jealous because I would have loved to be with someone that did those things for me. I'd had been great if my ex took me with him to an event or came with me to one of my premieres or award shows. Or took my hand in public. When I won my last two Oscars, he was there, but he didn't sat with me. I had to hug a friend to celebrate the fact that I won. You didn't get mad at them and ignored them for suggesting going out and getting caught by paparazzi. You would not tell them that you could spend time with them or have sex due to the lack of time and the hang out with your friends and former lovers instead. Why I could not have their luck once? Just once I'd love to know how it feels to be with someone who would proudly walk with me, go out with me or take me to places, happy to know that I'm by his side. Just one time I'd like to know who it feels not to be scared that your partner is going to be mad if someone for being seen together or acted as if he'd ashame and embarrased if people knew we're together, as if he could do so much better than you... just once I'd like to know how that feels. - you said and could not stop the tears. The tears covered your eyes and cheeks. The lump in your throat hurt badly. Henry grabbed your shoulders and pulled you closer, making you rest your head on his chest as he stroked your face and hair. He knew that you needed to let go of your tears in order to feel better. He promesed you would heal. He'd make sure that your future is bright and full of smiles instead of tears.

[horizonwalkers]

hey! I hope your Sunday is going well :D do you have any specific process for developing characters? Specifically in regard to personality and behavior, I usually have less of an issue pinning down themes and aesthetics lmao

My Sunday is going well! The way I design characters typically stems from either an idea within dnd mechanics ie: wood elf hedge mage wizard with a few monk levels to make a speed build. Or it stems from something more just general fantasy or connected to worldbuilding like right now I’m really into the concept of ‘evil by obedience and complacency’ which I might be making a villain or evil dnd based on. 

Then, I honestly start to gather themes and aesthetics and let them drive! Think about why the motifs are important to the character and what they represent. I’m going to use two of my fire-themed characters to kind of showcase what I mean. 

Kenna, my Fire Genasi (Revenant) Barbarian’s character stemmed from wanting to tie the idea of fire to rage but through deeper meaning than just fire = angry. With her it’s about fire burning hot and furious until there is nothing left, until it is burnt out and hollow. A lot of her character is about getting revenge and her anger/rage actually terrifying her. It’s about losing control and not being able to stop until the fire has burnt out.

Then Kafsi is just a concept I’m still hashing out, but he’s a wildfire druid & divination sorcerer. His theme with fire is rebirth but also just the concept of diviniation via fire, which is super neat and I like the way it pairs with wildfire druids. For him, fire is about what it can foretell, what the meaning of a burning log crumbling in the fire means when he is reading someone’s fate, and what remains in the ashes. 

Just by toying with different meanings for a motif and how it links to the character it ties to potential backstories and traits they might have. 

I think loose backstory can come before actually developing a personality as well. Most of the time I start with the ‘how did they get from x to where they are currently’ and that path will often tell you what type of person they are or at least give you routes to consider. Then when you’ve developed a sort of sense of who they are based on their motifs and the experiences they have you can connect it to personality traits.

Again I’m going to use Kenna for this just because she’s pretty fleshed out!

Her backstory started with just a revenant fire genasi who is rising from the ashes to get revenge after her family’s death and she’s grappling with sudden newfound anger that frightens her. 

Then, based on the motif of fire I was developing, and the idea that this is all new to her, I decided I wanted to take a different approach on a barbarian. Someone that wasn’t very angry and this anger and the power that came with it was even terrifying to them.

This got fleshed out to having a relatively normal life before things happened that made her an adventurer. She’s an older sister, the daughter of a blacksmith, in dealing with the loss of her family she’s grieving and angry.

And from this I got a lot of her character traits. Dutiful and a caretaker (older sister), angry and grieving (tragedy and a part of her rage), kind and humble (which didn’t really come explicitly from her backstory or motifs, it came about in contrast to the overwhelming fire and rage).

That kind of outlined my process of developing her if I remember correctly, it was a pretty long time ago but I think it helps explain my thought process. 

I also think developing personalities are very hard because there is any number of reasons a person might act a certain way, plus within the scope of ttrpgs, there’s always the question of ‘what would my character do’ vs ‘what would i do’ vs ‘what is right for the party’. 

I really am not a fan of the ‘this is just what my character would do’ quote being misconstrued as something shitty players use to excuse their shitty actions and all of the memes hounding people for trying to get deep into the roleplay experience, but I do think it is worth noting that not every decision you make while playing a character needs to be completely in line with the personality you’ve created for them out of the game. 

In game, in the moment, you are going to be making choices and saying things that you might not necessarily think your character would do when you look back on it. That doesn’t mean you’re a bad rper or character creator it just means you’re playing the game really. Improv is Improv and your character and their traits will develop when you get to play them. I don’t think anyone should shy away from that shift. 

Unfortunately for me with Kenna, the game I play her in doesn’t do a lot of roleplay. We mostly do dungeon crawls. Because of that, so much of the nuance of her character is taken away because I pretty much am mostly following the dungeon, solving puzzles, and fighting (which as a barbarian requires using your rage pretty often). Because of that, I have to play her differently than I would in my ideal roleplay heavy campaign. I do however, spend time as one of the faces of the party when we occasionally talk to npcs even though her charisma score isn’t maxed, because she is a kind and extroverted. I also primarily try to act in combat based on protecting the squishier spellcasters rather than running completely into the fray.

The point of this story is really to show that your perception of your character out of game will be different than your experiences in game almost all of the time and it’s okay to play your character and change your character’s personality traits as the game unfolds and as they grow and change as a person. 

This is a really long post and I sort of got derailed at the end but I hope this is helpful!

[tranderas]

My email to Failbetter Games

I rarely see a reason to hide my motivations or actions. I don’t have a lot of regrets in life, because as I got older- I’m 34 now- I came to understand that it’s pointless. Try to learn, grieve things like lost friendships and loved ones as best you can, and be the best person your emotional and physical state allows you to be.

Anyway

To that end, I thought I’d air out my grievances to FBG in a rather long email. It was a long time coming as I wasn’t convinced emails would do anything. Elias on the Failbetter Community discord server suggested I at least try, and I spent a week of proofreading to make sure I was as courteous as I could manage to be despite my feelings. I’m angry, angry because this game was so dear for me for so long and it feels like the current team has taken it in a direction so much in the opposite of what I find fun.

That anger is unhealthy, of course. Art evolves. Bands change their sound because they get bored or they want to make money tapping into a new audience. Painters refine and improve their style. Writers improve the range of their vocabulary and change tone. Everything shifts in this world. The healthiest thing to keep in mind is the fact that the thing you loved was there for that point in time and nothing can take that away from you, from your favorite game as a child to your favorite bands in your teenage years, you’ll always have those moments of joy.

I want to hold onto this moment of joy that I experience with Fallen London as long as possible, so I wrote this email in the hope of convincing them to alter their direction so I can enjoy it a little bit longer. Except for the signature that contained my real name at the end- not that it’s hard to find if you care, as my facebook url is /tranderas- the text is unmodified. Hopefully this shines light on what I want. 

What I don’t want is discussion about my needs. This is my place to explain, to vent, to point people to instead of typing everything out every time someone asks. But enough stalling.

___

Hello, I was encouraged in a Twitter interaction to write in and expand on my thoughts on the game so I figured I would do so now. Since I started writing this email before reading the December balance announcement, I'll address that at the bottom. The sparknotes version of what I'd like is as such: More content in London itself (especially socials), more Zee destinations, a profession uptuning, a fundamental rework of the deck that goes beyond favors, and a non-docks favor buff. From most to least important, the things I'd like to see addressed are:

1. The lack of endgame content within London itself is concerning to me for two reasons:

a. I play FL because it is a social electronic game, and I want to stay in zones in which I can continue to do social interactions. This is the reason I stay in London rather than going to Iron Republic and Port Carnelian, my first and second favorite zones respectively. If I wanted a story rich solo game I'd play Sunless Sea; if I wanted an analogue experience I'd play Blades in the Dark or read one of the books that influenced FL's style.

b. I simply don't like the mechanics of lab or parabola or how they gatekeep content. Because of this I haven't had any free content to pursue since the release of the new heists, and for a much longer length of time before that.

2. I'd love to see the remaining tier 3 professions given something they can do at lodgings. In general I prefer buffs instead of nerfs, especially in story games, and think it would be silly to nerf midnighter/correspondent/crooked-cross downward. Instead, give the others roles, perhaps in special options in the 4/5 card lodgings.

3. With the changes to Paramount Presence and the BDR power creep Notability has been significantly de-emphasized. I'd like that changed. To me the notability grind had the best balance of difficulty to cost-benefit analysis to end reward in the game, and while overcapping removed that, I would like something to use it again to make going above 10 worthwhile more often. Recent BDR items should make going even beyond 15 possible for very lategame players.

4. In addition to more endgame content within London, I'd like more midgame content at Zee. Sunless Sea got me especially interested in Frostfound and Irem, and a roleplay point for my OC is that she'd like to quite literally punch Mt. Nomad to death. Please don't feed us to spiders, though. The ones in London cause enough sorrow.

5. I would enjoy more free spouses that are not seasonal, and more ways to interact with player spouses. Again, it's a social game, and it makes sense to reward a desire to be social with the community. On the other hand, the NPC spouses in the game are limiting in their roleplay potential to the point that I've created a character around the Esoteric Accomplice for one of my OCs to get involved with between one roleplay relationship and another. Now allow me to take a deep breath while I discuss the proposed balance pass. The short version here is that I think it's wrong to release a deck refresh nerf without a fundamental change to what cards appear in the deck, and that the nerf to docks favors and yet another nerf to revs favors is misguided.

Here's the long version: I actually support a removal of the deck refresh mechanic. I got in trouble for calling flash lay resets an exploit on a private Fallen London fan server, and refused to use it until the lab convinced me it was a mechanic intended for use by FBG.

The widespread use of deck resets isn't a problem in its own right; rather, it's a symptom of how fundamentally broken the deck is in its current state. You have cards that are so bad that the narrative acknowledges they're awful and the mechanics give you a way to get rid of them at the cost of objectively worse lodgings. You have story signpost cards that clog up space held by desired cards. It can be nearly impossible to get Portly Sommelier (before deck refreshes i was getting one a month playing 60 actions a day) and dream qualities (my PoSI-ready SMEN alt has DbW3 playing every dream card that comes around). And most lodgings have cards that are objectively bad in a way that no new player can know without reading the wiki or asking someone- the exact problem you claim a desire to address in your announcement.

It's telling that players will do SMEN- a quest chain ostensibly about how much you're willing to sacrifice to some faceless maybe-god- in order to get rid of bad lodgings. I personally only bought back salon (Notability grind), rooftop shack (3 epa wine option), and bazaar premises (5-card potential plus good certifiable scraps/money option) after Trand got St. Beau's Candle, and JanieS only ever got the bazaar premises, her Remote Lodging, and the Orphanage. Even the other 4-card lodgings are only good under specific circumstances, and the rest of the 3s have worse cards with no endgame benefit.

Tranderas and JanieS both use remote lodgings. Trand is stuck with the Advertisements of a New Venture and Devices and Desires cards in his hand. Advertisements is an Abundant-rarity card. Since I have no intention of doing railroad due to disliking its mechanics the card simply sits in my hand. If I discard it, its rarity means it pops back up quickly. I think a way to opt out of story signpost cards such as aunt and railroad would be good progress toward solving the deck problem. There could be a large action or monetary cost involved with both removing it and reactivating it to balance, but without a way to get rid of these story hooks I need to keep refreshing to draw other cards around them.

As for the favors, I consider that part of the change mostly good. However, the docks favors -> Silk expedition doesn't really compete that well with other endgame grinds at the moment. Further, the Revolutionaries favor turn-in was already reduced dramatically this year, and I don't think it needs further tweaking. Rather than tuning docks and revs down, I would prefer to see the other factions tuned upwards, and the cost of earning favors eliminated from their cards (no 10 rostygold donation to the Church, for example). I'd still like to see the faction cards remain in the deck after they're given storylet sources, but made more rare, with the conflict options getting a boost to remain attractive in line with my proposed buff to payouts as they are good for London from a flavor/narrative perspective. In closing, it feels like the current FBG's team has a vision for the game that doesn't mesh well with how I see it and want to play it. Content has consistently moved away from what I want to do, leaving me with only SMEN and cider as goals to pursue (and as mentioned, I've run two characters- Samia R and Tranderas- through the quest chain to its completion). I obviously care about the game enough to want more things I like or else I wouldn't bother writing and proofreading this post or discussing and debating changes on the community discord, so I hope you'll take these opinions and suggestions into consideration moving forward. Regards,

Tranderas