#like realistically they’re both partially correct

[outtheoiseaux]

Idk if this is a controversial take but I feel like a lot of twin peaks fans BADLY misinterpret the scene in 2x09 where Albert describes BOB as “the evil that men do” and take it to mean that he’s not real, and only exists in the story to stand as a metaphor for human evil in the murder.

BOB’s description of being “the evil that men do” is partially just good insight into Albert’s character, as he’s literally a self-proclaimed cynic and “naysayer and hatchet man” who contrasts Cooper’s belief in the inherent good of mankind with his cynicism and belief in the inherent evil of mankind.

Most of the scenes where Albert shows skepticism happen when Cooper preforms or relies on magic, so it doesn’t make sense for him to serve as the purveyor of the “ugly truth” when he only offers this cynical perspective as a narrative contrast in a show which is explicitly paranormal. Not a solution, a narrative contrast.

So it makes zero sense from a writing standpoint to have the hero find the (correct) answers using magic, then have the prickly but lovable cynic deliver the “ugly truth” that “the magic was never real” and have that be correct.

preforming a magic trick is literally what completed Cooper’s arc and SOLVED THE MURDER😭 you can’t pull the “magic isn’t real” after magic solves the main conflict.

respectfully, you can’t convince me BOB isn’t real, regardless of how guilty the human behind the murder also is.

[girl4music]

Spinoza’s and Einstein’s idea and belief of God: Are science and religion married? Is consciousness involved?

When it comes to Universal theories about the way the Universe exists or what exists in the Universe as opposed to what doesn’t, I don’t necessarily believe in the multiverse theory or string theory, but I am partial to the “in potentiality” or “as yet to be decided” takes that quantum superposition theory proposes. The theory that for every already existing reality - this one and possibly others - there is a potentiality for multiple or even infinite alternate ones to exist and it’s simply a case of it just hasn’t been “decided” yet which one is the correct one or the always there one.

Now I want to be very careful on what I mean by “decided”. I’m not referring to any kind of personal anthropomorphic God or divinity here. I’m not talking about some type of human-like superconsciousness deciding on what exists and what doesn’t. I do believe in God and divinity but not in the way that there exists only one superconscious being that is the overall ruler and decider of all things existing or not existing. That’s just Western biblical bullshit to me. But there is the idea and belief that all individual consciousness (me, you, other animals) combined create and determine the one conscious being which could indeed be a superconsciousness but each individual conscious being does not have the mental bandwidth for recognizing nor controlling it. This seems a very realistic “God” or “divinity” that can be the truth.

Spinoza’s or Einstein’s idea and belief of God and divinity resonates with my idea and belief of God and divinity but not absolutely because to me not everything that is said to objectively and externally exist is conscious, nor can determine itself. But just the general idea and belief that “God” is synonymous with nature and therefore “God” is simultaneously everything as well as manifesting, maintaining and determining everything. That idea and belief of “God” or “divinity” very well could exist because it doesn’t override science nor religion - which are still in combat for which is “correct” - because it’s a pantheistic view - which both science and religion agree on. I tend to take a middle way with both science and religion because, to me, they’re both correct in their own ways but neither are absolutely correct because I believe both areas of philosophy have some things right and others not right at all. It all depends on the language used to express and convey these philosophies I say because science and religion use entirely different terms and definitions to describe the creation of existence despite ultimately talking about the same exact thing. They both make the argument that there exists one ultimate way of creation or one creator of everything. Religion refers to it as “God”. Science refers to it as “The Big Bang” - but they’re both referring to a Creator of Everything despite how different the terms and definitions may be between. I think because of this religion and science could very much be married one day when humanity gets its own heads out of its own arses. When it ultimately comes to the conclusion that while the languages might be wildly different, the ideas and beliefs are not so much. And only someone that thinks in the middle way or in “the grey area” - as I like to call it - will believe that it is possible that science and religion can come together and work together to figure this existing and creator of everything existing out one day. Hopefully.

In science - quantum physics - there is something called the wave-particle function in the forever groundbreaking double-slit experiment. It’s quite hard to explain but basically it means that reality is both there and not there at the same time and it only depends on “the conscious observation” of it which it is. I’m sure you’ve heard of the concept of the Copenhagen interpretation and thought experiments such as Schrödinger's cat being used to debunk the validity of quantum superposition. There seems to be the constant need in serious scientific study to try to falsify the plausibility that consciousness collapses the wave-particle function or to try to prove that consciousness plays no part in existence or of what is and isn’t reality. And I say “try to prove” because it has not been done successfully as of yet mainly because in order to try to prove it, consciousness cannot have any intervention in the experimentation - which evidently is absolutely impossible to pull off since all trying to verify the result of it are conscious beings. They’ve argued that technological apparatus and processes such as AI can intervene on a conscious being’s behalf but consciousness then has to be what measures and verifies what AI has done. And it’s a never-ending loop. No matter how much you try to remove consciousness from the equation, it’s obviously always going to be involved somewhere because it’s only ever consciousness that needs the information measured and verified anyway. It’s an effort that’s admirable but always in vain because consciousness is everywhere. It’s not in everything, as panpsychism suggests, but it is indeed that of which determines what “things” exist and what “things” don’t because a “thing” is only a concept of conscious perception. And I’d argue that the only reason why so many want to disprove and remove consciousness is because they’re too close and they feel weirded out by the thought that their intervention has influence on the creation and determination of external reality.

In religion - Christianity/Judaism/Islam specifically - it’s a lot different because consciousness is put on a hierarchy rather than just argued against entirely. It is believed by a good majority consensus of a Western religious population that there exists a consciousness above all consciousness. A superconsciousness. A “God”. And this idea and belief of “God” is an anthropocentric view even while specifically insistently stating that human consciousness plays no part in what “God” is since they identify and refer to “God” as a He and He is therefore typically read and perceived in Western biblical text in the male human image and living above the clouds, floating somewhere in the ethers and looking down on humanity as a much lesser consciousness to Himself. Of course, I don’t believe in that idea of “God” but many people still do. Especially people of a Western civilisation. Despite being a Western civilian myself, I’m more of an Eastern believer. I subscribe more to Taoism/Buddhism/Hinduism religions if I have to consider myself religious at all. But I would honestly rather not because I always feel religion complicates what are very simple matters and I am very much an Occam’s Razor person who favours the most simplistic option and approach to an understanding about the existence and nature of everything. There are, of course, limitations in Eastern religion too but it’s a lot less dogmatic than Western religion in my opinion since the ideas and beliefs of “God” and “divinity” in these religions are a shared experience with humanity and everything else that exists that is conscious - such as animals and insects and plants - which of course, also shares its views with Spinoza’s and Einstein’s idea and belief of God but doesn’t remove consciousness from the existence of reality.

I truly believe that nature and evolution is what “God” is and how “God” works. Nature is not separate or differentiated from consciousness and vice versa. When we think of nature we tend to have the picture of greenery in our minds. Plants - maybe a tree. When we think of evolution - we picture a seed transforming into a tree. We picture a metamorphosis happening of some kind. But that is not the only picture of nature or of evolution because nature and evolution goes beyond greenery. Beyond seeds and trees. I often refer to nature as the principle of all things and evolution as the process through which that principle of all things manifest and maintain themselves. So I think of nature and evolution as the principle and the process of everything in existence. But it is only two of the three ideas and beliefs and philosophies that ultimately matter to me regarding existence and its creation. The third is choice. And this is where my idea and belief of “God” and “divinity” comes in and Spinoza’s and Einstein’s idea and belief of “God” and “divinity” drop out. This is when my taken areas of both science and religion marry and this is what I mean by “deciding”. To me, consciousness is fundamental. If I could, I would make it a fundamental constant of serious scientific study and experimentation along with electromagnetism, gravity and the speed of light in time-space. I think it’s just as important - if not even more so important than those already very well accepted and beloved fundamental constants because we - humanity (and I’m sure every other conscious being that exists) - live under the laws of consciousness every waking moment - all the time. Constantly. It makes no sense to me why scientists want to disprove and remove consciousness from serious scientific study when the only way they can study and understand that study seriously is through consciousness anyway. The only way I can make sense of this wanting is the weird feeling that consciousness is something we are and therefore we can’t be how anything else is or comes to be. Scientists - especially physicists - have a really difficult time with the thought that they could be the creator of all things in existence like the personal “God”. But it’s not so outlandish of a thought when you consider that if God is All then All is God. When you take a pantheistic approach to it, it’s less weird and absurd and more comforting and plausible. I mean really… at the end of the day… all you’re saying is that Creator and Creation is the same exact thing. And in that case… Science and religion are already married. It’s just forcing ourselves to stop getting lost in the translations of both and start caring about the ideas and beliefs of both because I personally think the concept of “God” or “The Big Bang” is correct. I just think the wording is all wrong. And I also think that we need to get used to the idea that perhaps the chicken and the egg are the same exact thing. That they are principle and process.

I think Spinoza and Einstein were on the right lines but the refusal to involve and connect consciousness in with their ideas and beliefs is where I believe they went off track because nature or their “God” is not completely impersonal because consciousness is part of reality and removing it completely is just living in denial. But for some reason many scientists and philosophers alike want to do that. Want to ignore the part that consciousness evidently plays in the creation and determination of existence. It may not be everything, but it evidently is fundamental in that the laws of nature cannot be determined without it. There is a “decider” in existence. It’s consciousness. And we have to seriously consider in science and religion that biology and consciousness is central to the laws that govern the entire Universe. We cannot laugh at the notion of that anymore. Yes, it’s a radical belief. But so was believing that the world was round once upon a time. So is believing that time doesn’t exist today. But these ideas and beliefs are now very much accepted in serious scientific study and experimentation. So why can’t we do the same with the idea and belief that biology and consciousness are the keys to unlocking the secrets to the existence of the entire Universe?

[amysteriousmessenger]

First time with RFA + V and Saeran?

/cracks knuckes this is gonna be a long one, if anyone wants me to write one with Ray, Suity and Unknown please let me know <3 REMEMBER TO PRACTICE SAFE SEX!! Under the cut because of length - <3 please consider reblogging, I spent so long on this! <3 

First Time with RFA (+ V and Saeran) Headcanons [VERY NSFW]

Yoosung Kim First Time Headcanons

Your first time with Yoosung would be a bit of a long time coming. He’s nervous because he doesn’t want to mess it up, and he’s also not quite sure how to approach the subject. He gets overly worried about your boundaries whenever he wants to bring it up and just ends up never mentioning it. This would result in a lot of abrupt ends to make out sessions because he can feel something rising and doesn’t know what to do about it in that moment. Eventually, he’d start to bring it up but you’d have to meet him in the middle of the conversation before he got too flustered and jumped ship.

There wouldn’t be an immediate plan as to when it was gonna happen, but he would frantically buy some condoms at the pharmacy in advance. However, it just so happened that that was the day that the self-checkout was broken and he had to go to a real worker. He’d very much consider asking Zen for advice, and would probably hint at asking before deciding he couldn’t handle boosting Zen’s ego like that. Eventually, he’d just lightly google it and maybe ask one of his LOLOL friends for any general pointers.

It’d happen in his dorm room after a movie had turned into some heavy kissing and a little bit of light touching and resulted in you getting onto his lap. You’d be nuzzling kisses into his neck and losing yourself in his little gasps and moans when you’d felt him getting hard through his jeans, and then he’d be very embarrassed that you’d felt it. He feels like he should be a little more forward, but the words escape him. He’s enjoying himself and he doesn’t want to stop but he can’t find the words to keep it going. 

You’d ask if he wanted to continue and when he agreed, Yoosung would be a little bit bolder and would move you so you were lying down and he was on all-fours above you: continuing to kiss you from that angle.

He’s a little flustered and uncertain about, well, everything. He has a vague idea as to what he should be doing, but you’d going to have to move his hands down your thighs and up your shirt to encourage him that you want this as much as he does.

He is continuously asking if you’re sure you want to continue, if he’s touching you right, if he’s making you feel good, if he’s putting too much of his weight on you- please assure him that you’re fine, baby is nervous. 

Yoosung’s very flustered about seeing you undressed for the first time, and you’d most definitely have to take your bra off for him because he does not know how that thing unclips. He’s also a little shy about taking his clothes off for you too, and you can tell he’s embarrassed from the heat radiating off his entire body. It’s his first time too, after all.

He definitely stumbles his way through the foreplay and you have to remind him to not be so tense, it’s supposed to be fun! He’s very worried about finishing too early since it’s all new to him.

Yoosung’s movements are stiff at first and he’s definitely using his back and not his hips but with time he’ll loosen up a little and get into the swing of it better. You’ll have to guide him and help him set the pace, but he’s more than willing to do what you ask in order to make you feel good! He doesn’t want your first time with him to be disappointing!

He’s SO loud with his moans that you’re 100% certain that his flatmates have heard.

Zen/Hyun Ryu First Time Headcanons 

Your first time with Zen would happen pretty early on in your relationship. He’s both needy and affectionate, so it makes sense you’d end up in bed together sooner rather than later. His flirting would turn to kissing, which then turned to heavy petting, which then turned into him carrying you bridal style through his apartment towards his bed. 

Zen hasn’t been with anyone in a while so he sort of has to root around in his bedside table for a condom, and then has to check the date to make sure it hasn’t passed it’s use-by-date. Luckily for you both, it hadn’t: but at that point, Zen would have probably sprinted to the pharmacy at top speed and back in order to buy a new box if they were out of date. Nothing could stop this man now that he had gotten a taste of you.

Zen’s absolutely going to show you a good time, he feels a little rusty at first but once he remembers where and how to touch you, it’s game on. He’s in two minds about ‘unleashing the beast’ because he’s going to make damn sure that your first time with him is one you’re never going to forget, but he’s worried he might overwhelm you. He’ll quickly throw the latter thought away when he undresses you and gets his hands all over your thighs. 

Zen’s really good at periodically asking whether you’re okay with what he’s doing at each stage and before progressing to another act, he wants to make sure that you want him as much as he wants you.

He’s great at foreplay, he prides himself on it actually. He’s got wonderful fingers and he knows what he’s doing with his tongue. It makes him feel so good to see you coming undone like this before he’s even had his way with you. He’ll insist on making you cum with his hands and mouth before going any further. He’s going to make tonight all about you.

Zen’s a little bit possessive and it’ll show on your thighs, since they’re covered in lovebites.

When he’s above you, ready to move on to main course of the night, he’ll ask once again if you’re sure about this, slightly worried that maybe you’d not thought it through and perhaps just been swept up in the moment: ‘Jagiya, I just want to make sure you’re doing this because you want to, not just for me.’ - ‘Of course I want to, I’m here with you because I want to be.’

The only way to describe Zen in this state is hungry. He promised to ravish you and that’s what he’s doing and then tenfold. He’s so spurred on by your moans, your body and the animalistic need of not having done this for so long.

He has a sex playlist and has it on shuffle the entire time. Zen absolutely is going to match his speed to the music whilst still trying to be absolutely in tune to you and your body. 

He goes absolutely insane when you wrap your legs around his waist, pushing him as deep as he possibly can into you, especially when you cry out his name as you do it. He makes a point of wanting to make you moan as loud as he can, it’s good for his ego and lets him know he’s fucking you right.

He can’t help himself but lightly bite into your shoulder as he pounding in to you. Underneath him, you look good enough to eat.

Jaehee Kang First Time Headcanons

Your first time with Jaehee would be a little bit of a wait too, but not as long as Yoosung. Jaehee feels bad that she doesn’t really have time for a relationship with her job, so she feels as though she neglects you a bit unintentionally, and then she’s usually so tired in the evenings that she just passes out with exhaustion. So realistically, it would have to be either over a weekend over a holiday when the two of you were finally intimate together. 

You’d both be watching a musical and by the time it ended, it was practically time to go to sleep anyway. Since you were already in an established relationship with Jaehee and were getting physically comfortable with each other, you just slept in her bed whenever you stayed over.

It would start with a little bit of light kissing and touches, which turned into soft moans and gasps. Jaehee’s a little embarrassed at the noises she’s letting out, but it’s been a while she’s she’s been with anyone so the sensations feel so new to her again. 

You’d probably have to be the one to initiate it because Jaehee’s a little uncertain as to how to proceed, especially if she’s never been with a woman before. You place your hand on the inside of her thigh and break the kiss for a moment to ask: - ‘Do you trust me?’ ‘Of course, _____.’ - ‘Do you want me to keep going?’  ‘I do...’

You’d start touching her through her clothes first and then slip your hand underneath into her underwear when she’s a little more turned on. Jaehee continues to kiss you as you touch her and you can’t help but mildly embarrass her at how cute her little moans and whimpers are.

When Jaehee touches you, she’ll start the same way by touching you with her hand and then asks if you’d like her to do a little bit more than just using her hand, to which you moan out that yes, you would like that.

‘You might have to show me how you like it. I want to make you feel food so please, don’t be afraid to tell me if you want it differently.’

She hesitates a little bit when she’s actually between your thighs, and takes a few seconds just to steady herself before she starts kissing and lightly touching the inside of your legs, working her way up to your more intimate area.

Jaehee starts out very gentle and reserved and gets more confident in herself as your moans increased. You didn’t have to correct her one way or another because she absorbed your reactions very quickly and figured out what you liked and disliked and actually made you finish a lot quicker than you were expecting. She kept going so you could finish again, partially because she just enjoyed finally getting to be with you like this, and also because she wanted to make you feel as good as you make her feel. 

You obviously repay the favour to her afterwards, Jaehee’s quite quiet so you enjoy finding new ways to make her moan and emit cute little mewls and gasps and then for her to be embarrassed over it.

It’s not the most energetic session, but it’s sweet, gentle and with infinite tenderness.

Jumin Han First Time Headcanons

Jumin wouldn’t wait too long before sleeping with you. He wants to be different from his father and make sure you’re comfortably together before doing anything beyond kissing, but he also can’t keep his mind from wandering when he’s at work. He wants to claim you utterly and entirely, he needs you to be his.

He would bring it up beforehand, because that’s just who Jumin is but he tries his best not to phrase it like a business exchange. He wouldn’t expect you to have a date in mind or anything like that, but he’d like the greenlight that he can start thinking about things like that. Jumin hasn’t been with anyone beforehand (almost entirely out of disinterest), but he already has basic things like condoms, lubes and a few other items at home, and plans to expand his ‘collection’ as your relationship progresses.

Jumin’s absolutely a wine-and-dine kind of man, so he’d have the full evening planned with you and finish it with accompanying him to his home to enjoy the night’s view from his building. He’d kiss you with a little more passion than usual when outside and things for descend from there. You go over to the sofa for a little while, essentially straddling him and loosening his tie and cufflinks, just to get the situation a little more heated. 

Jumin usually can’t take a hint, but he does this time and continues to kiss you all the way to his bedroom where he has to stop himself from pushing you onto his bed and taking you right there. Where were his manners? Consent and foreplay come before that. Jumin’s actions aren’t fluid at first, but they’re certainly purposeful. He analyses each of your reactions as they come so he can gauge what you like and dislike and quickly turns to teasing you with his fingers and lips. ‘Would you like me to continue?’ He’ll ask, his voice seemingly as cool and collected as ever. - ‘Y-yes...’ You breathe out in response.

Jumin’s a gentleman and despite having no prior experience, he so easily controls the situation. He wants to make tonight about you and how good he can make you feel, he doesn’t feel any particular way about it being his first time in general, what’s most important to him is that it’s your first time together, so he wants to make a good impression. He takes a personal enjoyment in unzipping the back of your dress, commenting on how well the necklace he bought you suits you with a slight smirk.

He’ll comment on how beautiful he thinks your body is and that there’s no need to be embarrassed around him. He’s so considerate of you and your body, he knows how to touch you just right even though he’s never touched you like this before. He always waits until you’re entirely comfortable with what he’s doing with his fingers before progressing to anything more. 

If you’re self conscious about the way you sound, Jumin will put a little bit of light instrumental music on, probably jazz. He’ll first misunderstand and think you’re worried about being overheard and try to assure you that he had no neighbours and it would take him a few seconds to realise what you were actually worried about and he would just melt. Jumin absolutely wants to hear how good he’s making you feel and your moans are turning him on so much, he doesn’t mind having some music play in the background if it means you're more comfortable.

Saeyoung Choi First Time Headcanons 

Seven’s frequently made ‘no sex before marriage’ and ‘save room for Jesus’ jokes, but this boy is horny and no amount of porn and hentai is going to help him sort that out. Seven owns lube but doesn’t actually have any condoms in his possession since he was never actually expecting to get this far, so if you don’t bring one, he’ll either have to run to the store or, most horrifically, ask Vanderwood for one. Vanderwood doesn’t even dignify that text with a response.

There wouldn’t have been a plan or a real conversation beforehand, the two of you would have just been at Seven’s house watching a film or looking at memes on his bed before things got real steamy, real quickly and neither of you were in the mood to stop. You’d climbed on top of him to start kissing him, effectively (but unintentionally) pinning him to the bed when you’re felt him growing hard underneath you. 

This would progress with some dry humping, which definitely made Seven harder and got you in the mood a bit more. You’d find Seven’s hands moved their way up to your hips, guiding your pace as you grinded against him. Seven’s very vocal when he gets into it and he’s a switch anyway so he doesn’t really mind who’s in control as long as you’re both enjoying yourselves. He can’t quite resist the instinct to buck his hips up into you. ‘I don’t mind if you don’t, but do you wanna go any further than this?’ He’ll ask from below before quickly adding, ‘Just, uhh, because if not- which is completely fine, I’ll need to go take care of this in the bathroom-’ - ‘Of course I do, idiot. I’m literally on top of you. Do you want me to stop?’ ‘Definitely not.’ Seven would reply, with a smile and half lidded eyes.

He’ll pull you down onto him, and then roll over so that he was on top of you, his hands quickly finding their way under your t-shirt and massaging at your chest. He’ll probably disappear to go and wash his hands before anything progresses further, since he had just been eating Honey Buddha Chips and didn’t want to touch you with dirty fingers.

If you want him to put on a playlist, it means you have to be willing to take the risk of getting fucked to ‘All Star’ - Smash Mouth and ‘Rasputin’ - Boney M, or God Forbid, just the entire Bee Movie script but the nightcore version of it. That can come at a later date.

You shouldn’t have been surprised that Seven was that good with his fingers, seeing as what he did for a job, but the man had talent. He’d be able to make you cum with his fingers alone more than once given the speed he was able to move them at. 

Seven’s actually a little bit nervous too, since he doesn’t want to be bad for you. He’s spent his whole like thinking he’s a fuck up and he doesn’t want this to be another contribution to that. He needs a little reassurance too. There’s so much kissing and a few lovebites flying around. You even give Seven a couple and you laugh at him, knowing Vanderwood’s going to bully him about it tomorrow.

For the main act, he’d start on top but there’d be a good amount of position switching and you make an attempt at riding him for a bit. There’s a lot of fuck ups and laughter, but there’s even more love involved. He’d want to keep checking in and knowing that he’s making you feel good, but he can tell you’d having a good time from the way you’re riding him and the way you throw your head back every time he thrusts up into you. It’s lucky he has a lot of strength in his arms so he can hold you steady.

GE Saeran Choi First Time Headcanons

With Saeran, your first time would probably happen a bit quicker than people would expect. This man had been so deprived of love and affection for his whole life, and with the future so uncertain, he wanted to experience your love in everyway that you’d allow him. He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t thought about you in varying lustful daydreams before, especially when he was alone in his room at Mint Eye, or stuck in front of the monitors in the IT room. Ray nervously fantasised about it, whereas his dark Saeran alter angrily touched himself to a scrunched up photograph of you just to get you out of his mind at night, so it was safe to say he’d thought about it. 

Sex is never just sex to Saeran, it’s offering everything you are to one another. To him, it’s loving, intimate and generous: which is exactly why he wants your first time together to be perfect. The two of you had shared a bed several times since you had nowhere safe to go whilst Saeran’s father and the agency were out for blood, so you tended to hotel hop a little and you both needed to know the other was safe and just have one other’s presence. Besides, Saeran wasn’t accustomed to the outside world yet and he wanted you there for help and guidance. 

Saeran would probably ask you before buying lube and a condom in case you had any preferences, he doesn’t want to get ahead of himself if you aren’t comfortable yet, but he doesn’t want to be caught unprepared if the moment comes. 

 Saeran enjoys giving you romantic surprises now he has the freedom to do so, these include bringing you flowers, filling a bubble bath for you and buying you chocolates since he can’t currently make them. So realistically, your first time would probably be after he innocently did all of these in succession. He’d been working really late at his computer with the intelligence unit and continued working whilst you were in the bath, so when you get out and get into your new (rather short) night dress, generously donated by one of the clothing stores that Jumin owns, and telling him to come to bed for the night because you’ve missed him all day, he practically can’t keep himself from wanting to kiss you. His shoulders are pretty stiff from working at the screen for so long, so you pull him onto the bed with you, embracing Saeran as you lay down together, gently rubbing them to ease the tension.

‘Sweetheart, I swear you look more and more beautiful every time I see you. You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen, you’re an angel.’ He says as he moves up, cupping your cheek and kissing you gently.

Everything Saeran says to you is from the heart and you so readily reciprocate the love and affection he gives you. He places one hand on your exposed, lower thigh and slowly moves it up to where the hem of the nightdress sits, indicating that he won’t go any further until you tell him that it’s okay. 

Saeran’s movements are slow but determined, he wants to show you physically how much he loves you, he wants to make you feel good while he can. He’d ask you to lay back on the bed so he can kiss you and touch you at the same time, touching you gently over your underwear first and then underneath when he asked you if it was alright for him to do that. ‘My love, I want to try and make you feel even better than this. Will you let me?’ he asks before he’s between your legs, gently moving your thighs apart so he can pull your underwear down. 

Your inner thighs are covered in kisses and maybe even a little lovebite here and there. Saeran gives you a lot of attention with his mouth and he’s a little shaky at first but he’s very determined to figure out what you like best. He tends to tease you a bit, both intentionally and unintentionally. It makes him feel proud that he can get these kinds of reactions out of you, and a touch possessive that he’s the only one who can. He’d definitely want to make you cum with his mouth first, and then use his fingers on you since he wants your first time with him to be as painless as possible.

Saeran doesn’t actually expect any kind of solo treatment in return, so he’s absolutely ready to melt when you reciprocate the attention on him and he definitely has to make you stop after only a few short minutes because he doesn’t want to finish too early.

He’s almost instantly overwhelmed with sensation when he actually enters you and he has to concentrate for a minute or so to, firstly, let you adjust and secondly so he doesn’t cum right away. He’s a little self-conscious at how sensitive he is but it’s okay, he’ll get used to it with time.

He’ll kiss at your eyes and face while he’s waiting for you to adjust to him and give him the go ahead to move. His heart is thudding in his chest and it feels like a flutter he’s never experienced before, he has such infinite tenderness and affection for you and he’s so full of love to be able to show you that.

V/Jihyun Kim First Time Headcanons

V’s a man that plans ahead, so when he felt like the relationship was getting a little more serious, he’d make sure he had in-date condoms and a new bottle of lube for when things for a more intimate. He always tries to be considerate so figured he should buy these things in preparation to save you the embarrassment but wouldn’t mention it until you brought it up first. This was definitely a relationship that progressed slowly, since he had a lot of healing and self-work to do, it felt like he had to learn how to love all over again. 

It would have been a late night with him, you’d have had a date that day and gone back to V’s for dinner with a glass of wine. You’d ask to go and see the starry night sky from his porch, with V laying down a blanket so the two of you didn’t have to sit directly on the cold floor. He’d gaze at you looking at the stars and have a sudden urge to kiss you, which then progressed into more and more kisses. V would lean you back onto the floor and would be to the side of you, leaning over and kissing you. Your hands are pressed against his chest as you enjoy the feeling of him cradling you so lost to him.

Perhaps it was the cold air that made the space between you feel so heated, but when V broke off the kiss to catch his breath, you immediately started kissing your way down his jaw and into his neck. You’d been waiting a while for your first time with him, and you didn’t want to rush him, but you were also so ready for him to just take you on that cold blanket outside on the porch. His warm hand squeezed your upper thigh and you thought for a second that he was going to tell you to stop, but instead he asked: ‘My love, don’t you think you’d enjoy this more on a bed?’

Once you’re in his bed, it’s like V unleashed a level of affection that he had been holding back for so long. He asks regularly if you’re okay with what he’d doing and that you can tell him to stop anytime that you want him to. You ask him, in turn if he’s sure that he’s ready and V assures you that he is, and that he doesn’t want to keep you waiting anymore.

He asks to take a photograph of you, nothing not safe for work (not yet), but he wants a picture of you on the bed, slightly out of breath with big doe eyes and puffy lips from the kisses you shared. It’ll be one of his favourite pictures of you for a while to come, and he’ll keep it in his most prized collection.

V gets hard just from touching you, he barely needs any friction of his own to be fully erect. And speaking of touching you, he does not stop. He’ll make you finish his his mouth, and then his fingers, and then his mouth again so that you’re absolutely ruined before he’s even gotten started. He was in a relationship for so long so he knows what he’s doing and the fact that he’s such a giving person means that you’re going to be entirely overcome with pleasure before he’s even inside you. You feel a little guilty about getting so much attention, but he insists that you deserve all of this and more.

He’ll put a little bit of music on if you want, but he honestly just prefers it to be the two of you. Your moans and praises are like music to him anyway, and that’s all he needs. He’s into body worship and he’ll praise and kiss every inch of you and make sure that you feel absolutely worshipped by him. 

He sets the pace to be what seems to make you dig you your fingers into his back and the bedsheets the hardest, and he can’t help but chuckle at how cute he thinks you look underneath him.

He puts so much into it that you really can’t describe it as anything other than ‘love making’ and it was most definitely worth the wait.

[audreydoeskaren]

1950s Mainland Chinese Movies with Pretty Costumes 1/3

Tired of seeing only propaganda movies with characters who wear the same uniforms and peasant clothes from the Mao era? I collated a list of gif-worthy, pre-Cultural Revolution movies that shatter stereotypes and provide valuable references for mid century fashion. It should be noted that while these costumes are nice, they’re still realistic and non couture so please don’t compare them to contemporary Hollywood big budget escapism and try to claim that this isn’t fashion lol, I won’t tolerate Mao era erasure. Because posts tends to become difficult to edit for me if they’re too long, I split the list into three parts, of which this is part one.

List goes in chronological order and I will provide personal ratings out of five moons. Where no English titles were given I provided my own translations. There will be spoilers. Owing to their age and obscurity, most of these movies can be watched on YouTube for free, and I attached links where I could. Enjoy <3

如此多情 (So Passionate) 1956

Dir. Fang Ying | Genre: romance, comedy

My favorite on this list happens to be first! As a nationwide pro-fashion campaign unfolded in 1956, more and more movies showing characters in contemporary fashion were produced, in contrast to movies with period or revolutionary themes popular in the first half of the decade. This movie is very representative of that trend. The costumes in this movie are out of this world, the romantic weekend dresses look like something from the cover of a contemporary Japanese fashion magazine. 

Apart from the ridiculously gorgeous costumes, this is a well written and highly watchable movie. The female protagonist Fu Ping (played by Ye Linlang) is undecided between multiple suitors, but eventually ditches them all for a man she coincidentally meets at the cinema, who appears to be the director of a commune (someone of high social status). She becomes engaged to him, but her dream of a happy married life is, however, thwarted by a truth about her fiancé yet to be revealed. 

This movie is the antithesis of your run-of-the-mill propaganda movie that tries to teach you a correct message, but rather morally ambiguous with fleshed out characters and an engaging, almost frivolous plotline. I especially appreciate the ending as it seems the writers actually put some thought into how the ending wraps up the whole story, unlike many other movies of the era which end abruptly in some sort of moral lecture by righteous party members; they feel formulaic and were also detested by audiences of the time. Combined with the gorgeous costumes and genuine humor, it was a gesamtkunstwerk through and through.

Audrey’s recommendation: 🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕

不拘小节的人 (The Ill-Mannered) 1956

Dir. Lü Ban | Genre: comedy

Satirist Li Shaobai (played by Bai Mu) holds himself up as a gentleman but is, in reality, extremely ill mannered and inconveniences other people on various occasions on his trip to visit his girlfriend, Min Ying (played by Huang Wansu), whom he has never met in person.

This movie features quite a couple cheongsam in the 50s mainland cut which are nice to see. Also, although I’m usually not interested in menswear, I may or may not be partial to all these 50s movies with their manly men in nicely tailored Zhongshan suits. It’s a look.

Audrey’s recommendation: 🌕🌕🌕🌑🌑

寻爱记  (Seeking Love) 1957

Dir. Wu Zhaodi, Wang Yan | Genre: romance

Ticket office man Li Yong (played by Li Yunong) and cashier Zhao Hui (played by An Qi) met each other in an accident, and romance ensues. Zhao’s colleague and friend Ma Meina (played by Su Jianfeng) meets Li’s colleague Zhang Shilu (played by Ren Weimin) at a dance. Zhang claims that he is the head of a PR department out of vanity, and Ma enters a relationship with him for his status, before finding out that he works at the ticket office as well. The two reflect on their bad choices and reconcile, and both couples live happily ever after.

I feel like Ma and Zhang basically play out the good ending of the couple in So Passionate, but it detracts from the emotional impact of the story (maybe it’s a personal preference thing I just like sad and depressing endings). On the costuming side, the wardrobe of the main characters is severely limited, but there are, for some reason, many extras in nice fashions.

Audrey’s recommendation: 🌕🌕🌕🌑🌑

没有完成的喜剧 (Unfinished Comedy) 1957

Dir. Lü Ban  | Genre: comedy, satire

Two renowned comedians are invited to perform in a film institute in Changchun. They present three satirical skits, all of which are critiqued by a frankly annoying member of audience, who meets a comedic end for his bad takes. I personally don’t find this movie particularly interesting, maybe if you’re into political satire it might be worth checking out.

Costume wise this movie does have a good selection of elegant costumes. I’m starting to notice that “ballroom scenes” seem to be a recurring trope in these 1950s movies, which I’m not complaining about because they look nice, and show many realistic fashion choices.

Audrey’s recommendation: 🌕🌕🌕🌗🌑

青春的脚步 (Steps of Youth) 1957

Dir. Su Li, Yan Gong | Genre: drama

This movie portrays abuse and is pretty hard to watch in certain scenes. Lin Meilan (played by Yuan Mei) and her boyfriend Xiao Ping (played by Liu Zengqing) are young architects at a civilian firm working on a proposal for workers’ housing. Xiao finds Meilan’s designs too lavish and unrealistic, to which she objects. Xiao asks his cousin Peng Ke, the head of the design department, to give Meilan advice. Meilan appreciates his help and becomes quite close to him, but little does she know, Peng, an older man with wife and children, is a manipulative predator and plans to take advantage of her. 

The ending is super annoying in my opinion, poor girl needs therapy not a “righteous colleagues criticize you for moral choices” session. Xiao actually makes me uncomfortable, always putting down Meilan at every turn and never a word of praise or encouragement, needless to say he jumped at the opportunity to blame her for what has happened to her. It’s unnecessarily condescending. It’s good that he left for the countryside at the very end and doesn’t return until heaven knows when.

On a brighter note, the costumes in this movie are very chic and light, with Meilan sporting a variety of office attire and Sunday picnic dresses. The menswear is tailored to perfection too.

Audrey’s recommendation: 🌕🌕🌕🌕🌑

[freddiekluger]

please drop the essay length analysis Judas and Jesus (extra gay Swedish edition), O great and knowledgeable monarch of our times

alright, you ask i deliver! please excuse any typos, my eyes aren't exactly working rn

welcome to my probably super subjective but correct analysis, aka

Judas Was Right and Jesus Was A Victim (At Least, In Swedish)

Before we get started, a couple points: i’ll try to avoid comparisons to other specific productions, i’ve only seen the other recorded 2012 british version which i didn’t like for reasons including but not limited to the amount of white people with dreadlocks. Also, my understanding of swedish is limited to a couple words and phrases, so most of the lyrics i reference will be english subtitles from Ola Salo’s swedish translation and therefore might not be the most accurate !

There’s so much i could cover in this, but for now i’m going to focus on how jesus and judas are portrayed in the 2014 swedish arena tour of Jesus Christ Superstar (JCS) starring Ola Salo as Jesus and Peter Johansson as Judas, along with how this production more implicitly views god. 

From the opening number, translated into swedish as En Dimmig Himmelsdröm (A Foggy Heaven’s Dream), Peter Johansson’s acting and semantic differences in the lyrics present us with a deeply sympathetic portrayal of Judas. Looking purely at language, the english equivalent Heaven On Their Minds instantly paints Judas as much more of a faithless doubter- lyrics exclusive to the english version like “all your followers have gone blind / too much heaven on their minds” and “they think you’re the new messiah / and they’ll hurt you when they find they’re wrong” strongly enforce Judas’ main motivation for his actions being that he has less belief in Jesus and God’s plan than any of the other disciples with strong statements judging the other disciples for following him and claiming that Jesus ISN’T the messiah. The swedish translation doesn’t paint exactly the same picture- the focus of Judas’ number becomes his fear for Jesus’ wellbeing, not because he isn’t the messiah (the production remains fairly ambiguous on this point), but because Jesus can’t cope. The root of Judas’ concern comes from fear for Jesus’ wellbeing, and the disciples are referenced as regularly misunderstanding and wilfully twisting Jesus’ words. The swedish equivalent lyrics for the above examples are “they say, “jesus is god’s son” / but you know how people can change” (judas isn’t concerned with truth, just the danger that jesus will be in if the tide turns), and “the kingdom of heaven is within us, that’s what you said / bu they sew it, stitch by stich into some kind of foggy heaven’s dream”. Judas is showing that he HAS been listening and cares for Jesus’ teachings, but ‘they’ [his disciples] are turning them into something else entirely, and Judas’ worries that the support of the masses is fragile at best- the lines “and everything you say gets twisted by your lackeys / it will be anything but what you’ve said”  and “you are being used by people who want you in their battle” reinforces this again. When combined with Peter Johansson’s tough but tender performance, in which he dances between disdain for Jesus, the institution, and affection for Jesus, the man (an important distinction), Judas is the harsh realist doing his best to look out for the man he loves. The way he takes Jesus hands and looks at him with love and urgency straight away establishes that his motivations are pure- Judas is doing what he thinks is best, even though it feels like no one will listen to him. 

That was long, but En Dimmig Himmelsdröm is the perfect character introduction for Judas. He’s not totally unrecognisable, still delivering digs about ‘Jesus, the little carpenter’s son’, his manner is still rough and at this point we’re not sure whether or not the claims he makes about the disciples have any truth to them, BUT we can also see how much Jesus means to him, an important point that give context to the intensity of their future arguments and really makes the whole story much more heartbreaking.

This brings me to Ola Salo’s Jesus. Delightfully camp and queercoded, Judas describes him as being caught up in his own magic and mystery and buckling under the pressure, and he’s not entirely wrong. Throughout the first act, Jesus basks in the luxuries that being messiah can give him (the oils Mary paid for using disciple funds that were supposed to go towards helping the poor, him absolutely thriving in the shopping cart in What’s the Buzz?), and is shown actively avoiding any reminders of the seriousness of his position. He’s sick of the disciples asking him for a plan, he chooses the comforting Mary, who’s theme consists of telling Jesus everything is okay and he doesn’t need to think about anything, over Judas, who is less perhaps ‘cosy’ but is actively trying to warn and protect Jesus from an awful fate. During The Temple, he starts to crack as he’s overcome by the followers begging him to make him well, fear in his eyes as he raises his arms while frozen on the spot trying to avoid being devoured by the frenzy in desperate need of a messiah. Judas’ point about Jesus buckling under the pressure is starting to look more and more reasonable, and the dashes of showbiz campness add to the sense that much of Jesus is a persona constructed for the masses to give himself enough distance to prevent him from being crushed by the weight of God entirely. Jesus, the institution, prances around, lays his hands on his followers, and projects an air of easygoing calm. Jesus, the man, is scared and alone, and Jesus, the man, really comes out in Last Supper, but before we get there, I want to circle back to the Jesus/Mary/Judas thing.

Jesus, Mary, and Judas are presented as a love triangle: so much so, that Judas seeing Mary sing of her love for Jesus (I Don’t Know How To Love Him) is actually played as the inciting incident that sends him to the pharisees. Judas, the picture of the jealous lover, storms onto the scene, breaking them up and attempting to kiss Jesus, who instead shoves him to the ground in disdain. Judas, who is perhaps a little controlling, realises that any influence he had over Jesus has gone, and it’s likely a combination of jealousy and the knowledge that Jesus won’t stop that prompts him to head to the pharisees. In his meeting with the pharisees (known in english as Damned For All Time, although that phrase doesn’t appear once in the swedish), Judas’ expresses outright that “I’m the one who sees / Jesus, he can’t handle it anymore” “the truth is that this hysteria is making him lose control”, once he can get past explaining how much this plan of action feels like a last resort. He never even verbally or physically accept the pharisees’ offer of money, he denies it twice before it is eventually thrown over him after he reluctantly gives them the date and time to find Jesus- we never even see him pick it up, unlike other productions which show Judas grabbing for the cash and place a higher emphasis on Judas making sure he ‘won’t be damned for all time’, painting Judas as far more self serving. When it comes to Jesus, Judas is active- he’s running around trying to help, caressing him, embracing him, grabbing his hand, kissing him. They share countless moment of intimacy, especially at the start, establishing the fondness between them instead of instantly jumping to their conflict. When it comes to Mary (and admittedly, this is partially because she’s a secondary character- don’t get me wrong I still love her and Gunilla Backman does a brilliant job), she’s much more passive. Other than the much more gentle kisses in I Don’t Know How To Love Him and her penchant for dabbing Jesus’ forehead, she’s mostly just ‘there’. She cares for Jesus after the fact, and even when performing acts of intimacy like the oil and the kiss, she maintains a lot of physical distance- her songs touch on this as, much like Jesus (admittedly for different reasons), she actively distances herself from feelings to protect herself, so naturally she literally places distance between herself and the object of her love.

This brings me back to Last Supper, Gethsemane ( I Only Want to Say), and the kiss of death that broke all of our hearts. Throughout this segment, this is when Jesus, the man, really comes through, and it’s devastating. In Last Supper, he properly expresses the sheer amount of loneliness he feels, reiterating how he feels everyone will forget about him once he’s gone, and doesn’t really care about him as a man (”for you, my blood is not worth more than wine / for you, my body is not worth more than bread” “you will have forgotten me as soon as i give up my life”). This devolves into the disciples fighting each other and, you guessed it, ignoring him. For the first time, Jesus meaningfully lets out his anger, and as it turns to Judas, Judas does the same. Because of the set up of their complicated romantic relationship and the stakes involved, the amount of personal attacks and anger that comes out of Jesus and Judas’ repeated fights (which get physical) make complete sense- Jesus’ frustrations come from the fact that his entire fate has been predetermined and to him, Judas is just another instrument in the ways he’s been controlled (both with Judas being his betrayer, but also the way that Judas’ constant advice and interference with Jesus’ life (most obviously, the mary thing) are acted by Ola Salo as becoming increasingly frustrating to Jesus)- these frustrations are directed at their real cause, God, in Gethsemane. Judas’ frustrations come from the fact that no matter how hard he tries to help Jesus and keep him safe, Jesus keeps rejecting his efforts resulting in “all that we’ve built up [being] destroyed”- Judas’ heart hasn’t just been broken by Jesus rejecting him romantically, but on every level. Here, he’s actually shown to be the disciple most passionate about helping people practically and long term, being the only one concerned about Mary taking money which was supposed to help people, manipulated by the pharisees with the promise of doing good for the masses, and criticising Jesus for how they could be doing so much for people, ending his part of Last Supper with “every time i look at you i ask myself why you let all your things go so wrong? / all i ever wanted was to help you”. 

This is also the point where Judas’ claims about the disciples are essentially confirmed, and this productions intent to portray Judas as more of a tragic hero become absolutely clear. In the english version, the disciples chorus remains virtually the same each time it appears, generally being far too calm considering their leader is about to die, revealing their aspirations to be apostles, and their intent to write the gospels to be remembered. the swedish translation still achieve this, but with variations from chorus to chorus it becomes much more poignant. i’m just going to stick to ttwo, which are choruses 1 and 3. In chorus 1, lines roughly translate to “i’ve always wanted to be an apostle / life is so nice when you’re saved/ then when we’ve got time we’ll write the gospels / then everything will be the way we want”-  the apostles declaring that life is so good when you’re saved supports Judas’ opening statement that they care more about some idea of heaven than anything else, not to mention ignoring the absolute horrors that Jesus will have to go through to be saved, while the final line about the gospels introduces their intent to change whichever details they need to make ‘everything the way we want’: once again, exactly what Judas warned us of in En Dimmig Himmelsdröm. In chorus 3, taking place after Judas storms out for the last time, these lines change to “never really liked that judas / never saw what jesus saw in him / then, when we’ve got time we’ll write the gospels / and we’ll angle it so he gets all the blame”. Judas as a sympathetic character is confirmed here, as the disciples straight up admit how they don’t like Judas anyways and intend to write him as a villain (also inadvertently admitting that, since they have to write the gospels to make it look like only Judas’ fault, Judas isn’t really the sole one responsible for everything that is to come). It’s deeply unsettling, and for me was the point where I really began to question how good any of these disciples were, and by extension, how good is this production’s God if his truly sanctified followers are acting like this?

Jesus vents out all of his anger and desperation in Gethsemane. He acknowledges his own powerlessness and begs him to change the plan, but with the dark stage and no response (along with Ola Salo’s spectacular acting) it becomes clear that if anyone is there, they’re certainly not listening (”you, who have all the power / can you please change the plan / for i can already feel the pain burning in me”). It’s worth mentioning that a lot of the imagery in this swedish version is much more intense than the english, both in this song and the production as a whole. Jesus plainly calls god “thoughtless”, begging to understand, and it’s that this point we realise that he agrees with much more of what Judas has been saying than he’s been letting on- Jesus’ faith appears to be the only thing keeping him from listening to Judas and running away. Judas’ messages about people misunderstanding Jesus’ words also come out (”you care that everyone sees / but not that anyone understands”), and his eventual agreeing to die is played less as an inspiring act of faith, and more an act of desperation as he realises, he realise has no other choice. In this song, we see just how much of Judas Jesus has valued and taken on board, and that his air of carefree aloofness which frustrated Judas was, as we’ve already touched on, a complete act. The line “might as well finish what i’ve... what YOU’VE started” is absolutely miserable, reinforcing one of the major themes of this production: the idea that Jesus and Judas were both just ordinary men tormented by futures defined by forces out of their control. Just as Jesus has absorbed Judas’ logic, as an audience so we have, and it’s difficult to view the rest of the play’s events as anything other than an immense and unnecessary act of cruelty.

we’re almost done i promise!

Even knowing what Judas has/will do, Jesus still greets him with love. Judas, still under the impression that Jesus will be okay and that he’s doing what’s best, approaches him with the utmost tenderness, and the kiss is a beautiful signifier of two things. For Jesus, the return of his love for Judas shows his realisation in Gethsemane that Judas isn’t the one who’s sealed his fate and has only being trying to help, it’s god himself who has decided Jesus’ future. For Judas, the kiss shows that despite all of the anger and frustration that has been pouring out of him, he truly does love Jesus, and the way he cradles the scared and alone Jesus to his chest afterwards shows just how much he wishes he could be the one to help him and keep him close. Even with all their arguments and dysfunction, here Jesus and Judas find comfort in each other, and it almost seems like everything will end up alright. It’s in this moment that Judas and Jesus are most identifiable not as enemies, or as villain and hero, but as archetypal lovers from a Shakespearean tragedy. Neither of them set out to hurt each other, but through miscommunications, their own flaws, and external forces (both natural and supernatural), their love is simply never to be. Furthermore, in the following torture and spectacle, everything that Judas predicted for Jesus is about to come true. Another detail I find interesting is the way that Jesus and Judas both sport black nail polish, leather pants, and similar length hair: along with just looking cool as hell, the similarities really reinforce how close they are and how much they influence each other- it feels like a contemporary version of carrying a cameo or a lock of your lover's hair with you, a way for 'star crossed lovers' to keep a piece of their beloved no matter what.

The disaffected persona of Jesus, the institution, comes back as he’s taken by the authorities and subsequently insulted, degraded, and whipped. Also the swedish version of The Arrest, when the chorus starts singing questions, contains this dick joke and I think we all deserve it: “why were you dating a whore? / talk about a huge magic wand!”

Skipping forward to Judas’ Death, this is where both his character and the production’s conception of god beautifully (and miserably) align. When Judas runs to the pharisees, minor semantic changes (along with the genuine concern and great acting from Peter Johansson) reinforce that this Judas genuinely didn’t know that Jesus would be beaten and sentenced to death the way he has been, and Judas’ concern regarding how things look is played less as ‘oh no people will hate ME!’, but how having sentenced the man you love to death is one nightmarish thing, but for everyone to think you did it knowingly and willingly and then congratulate you for it is unthinkable. Where the english shows Judas’ attempting to evade responsibility for Jesus death, the swedish is more focused on Judas’ guilt, horror, and regret. The english “I’d save him all the suffering if I could / don’t believe our good / save him if I could” is swapped in swedish for “If anyone should die here I should / don’t say I’m good / better if I died”. While the english statements are somewhat empty (sure, Judas says he’d save Jesus’ suffering if he could, but he can’t so we’ll never truly know) and are still focused on Judas’ attempt to construct himself as a good guy, the swedish translation has Judas admit his guilt (even if it’s not really his fault), and make the promise of “better if i died” which, given the name of this sequence, he later delivers on. When english Judas sings “Christ, I’d sell out the nation / For I have been saddled with the murder of you”, swedish Judas sings “Jesus, I’ve been deceived / because of my act your blood’s now being spilt”, and instead of ending this first section with “I should be dragged through the slime and the mud”, swedish jesus returns to the theme of character assasination with “i will be cursed as the one behind your murder”. 

The swedish translation of the next rework of I Don’t Know How to Love Him also places much more emphasis on Judas’ genuine romantic love for Jesus- we’d be here for hours if i listed everything but here are a few key contrasts. The english has Judas sing “I don’t know how to love him /  I don’t know why he moves me”, whereas the swedish has Judas crying while singing “how do I show my love / all I want is to be close to you”. Along with acknowledging Judas already loves Jesus, the entirety of this segment is shifted from Judas singing about Jesus in the third person ‘he’, to a direct address. Judas isn’t performing his sadness, or venting his emotions, he’s emitting one last desperate cry to the man he loves as he sobs on a stage completely shrouded in darkness, and it’s devastating. Peter Johansson lets his voice run raw as he’s belting, and interrupts lines with sobs, and this Judas answers the question of “do you love me too? do you care for me?” with a quiet “no”- Judas is about to go to his death convinced Jesus must hate him, just as Jesus will face his knowing his love inadvertently put him there.

We finally reach Judas’ actual death, and the production’s far more ambiguous (if not negatively geared) depiction of god comes to a head. Judas’ screaming at god the moment he realises that his god essentially forced Judas to be the one to kill Jesus (an act of ultimate cruelty given their love) comes across as horrifying in it’s validity, unlike in other english language productions where it follows the more common characterisation of Judas being an unbeliever who can’t take responsibility for his own actions. When he spits on the ground, screaming “you have murdered me!”, we can’t help but agree- Judas was trying everything he could to stop Jesus from dying, and yet here he is. Most notably, Judas doesn’t set up his own suicide- a noose literally descends from the heavens, already tied, and Judas is literally trapped between the edge of the stage, and the symbol of death behind him. Much like he didn’t choose to kill Jesus, Judas has no choice in his own suicide- it’s suggested to merely be another part of the plan god has for him, and Judas raising his arms to form a crucifixion pose before he finally turns and jumps, disappearing into the depths of the theatre as the rope trails down (somewhat evocative of a leap to hell), highlight the sick joke. Much like Jesus begging in Gethsemane, a plea with god that in anyway implies fault or cruelty is met with silence followed by a death sentence. 

When Judas reappears to the broken and bloodied Jesus in Superstar, he appears as more of a twisted hallucination than the literal spirit of Judas. He’s the opposite of everything he was in life, draped in colour, surrounded by red lighting instead of the signature blue, his hair quite literally let down, joking and dancing. Despite singing about him, Judas virtually ignores Jesus for the whole song except when he’s taunting him, snatching his hand away after a broken and desperate Jesus reaches out for the image of his beloved (refuting Judas’ belief that Jesus would die hating him), along with the swedish additions of Judas repeatedly addressing him as “little Jesus”. Where the living Judas was serious, sometimes harsh but always well intention, often paying more attention to Jesus than he received, this Judas is the opposite: light hearted but cruel, not caring about Jesus one bit. It’s somewhat an inversion of the beginning of JCS, where the tormented Judas was constantly reaching out to Jesus, and often met with scorn and insult (see: most of their arguments, this line from Everything’s Alright: “the thought is beautiful but quite unrealistic / yes, even quite stupid”). As the song goes on, and even as Jesus is crucified, the victorious scoring of the Superstar theme ends up reinforcing the cruelty and questioning of god distinctive of this production: Ola Salo’s Jesus is one of the bloodiest Jesus’s (Jesii?) I’ve been able to find, with blood covering his torso, his arms, and all over his face, not in passive dribbles, but violent ‘swooshes’ spreading out from his eyes, emphasising the fear and pain contained within them. As the music suggests how great and wonderful Jesus’ death is, the images straight out of a horror movie before us don’t seem to match up: as both Judas and Jesus question, if no one is understanding what Jesus is saying, why kill him? instead of making a point, you’re ensuring that the falsehoods continue to circulate, unless spreading the true message isn’t really the intent at all. or, simply that Jesus was wrong: his interpretation and teachings of god were far too kind and practical, and the true god really is the one that he briefly saw in the garden of Gethsemane, and that Judas saw before his death- a cruel and vindictive god using them for his own sick purposes. If you're a strong Christian, I'm sure you could watch this production and still believe that God was right (although I think Jesus and Judas being in love counts as blasphemy), but I think in doing so you'd lose part of what makes this production so hard hitting and, as i keep saying, devastating.

that’s pretty much it for this one! i feel like jesus and judas as a queer couple is less significant to this production than the fact that it’s specifically jesus and judas that are in love - they don’t face explicit homophobia as such, although i do think the paratextual and historical associations of queerness (both with them each looking visibly queer, and them as a couple) adds a beautiful dimension by subverting the standard christian teaching of Jesus’ sacrifice as “a love that changed the world” and making the love that truly could have been transformative (and was, to a degree) the love between Jesus and another man, not to mention the way in which queerness is often viewed as radical perfectly upholding the ‘radical’ views of god and the story of Jesus shown in the production. Why wouldn’t the love between two men be the love which has us questioning god, faith, and that which many of us have been taught since birth? Ola Salo has talked about how he’s able to be positive and negative towards christianity, along with how he wanted Jesus and Judas to really represent two sides of the same coin (’faith and intelligence’), and being bisexual along with having alluded to being raised christian (not to mention Breaking Up With God, a song by his band The Ark), it’s not surprising he’s managed to present such a nuanced and layered interpretation of Jesus Christ Superstar that even me, a trans exvangelical, can fall in love with.

UPDATE: @bands-and-hobbits has just let me know that Ola's dad was a priest! Apparently he's said that he liked the organs and the music, but that was all when it comes to christianity, which (when combined with Ola stating in interviews that the JCS soundtrack has been one of his favourite albums since he was 14) makes a lot of sense about the level of familiarity he had with the text giving him confidence to go in and make changes to really capitalised off of some of the themes that are hinted at in the english version- you have enough information to understand how everything works together, but aren't so dedicated to preserving belief that you feel you can't improve/change things (and my god are we glad he did)

[kinomiakai]

do you have any tips on writing sasuke and naruto? specifically things like inner thoughts and dialogue?

Oh!!! This is such a cool question, thank you so much anon. This...actually got really, really long, but I hope it’s actually helpful!! This is just the way I write them, so take everything I say with a grain of salt!!

I’ll put it under a read more because it got so long haha :)

General advice:

For dialogue, generally, I feel like what actually helped me a ton was when I had to transcribe a bunch of interviews for school. You have to include everything, the body language, the ums, the stutters - so I’d actually really recommend trying that? Ideally finding something that isn’t edited, like a livestream or something, and trying to write down a few minutes of what the person says perfectly. It’s actually really, really hard!! Your brain automatically deletes the repetitions and stutters and spare words, so forcing yourself to identify them really helps with figuring out how people talk and writing more realistic dialogue. An example would be something like:

“I went to the—like the—the, um, ba—the store in the back alley, you know?”

(Things in there: (1) repetitions of “the”, (2) people say “like” a lot and your brain tends to delete that, (3) same with ums/uhs/other noises of thought, and (4) the way your brain can skip ahead to the next out-of-order word and you back up and go back to finish the thought. That happens a lot!)

You do have to balance it with readability, I find, because some people stutter a lot (especially if they’re in thought), but writing it all out like that really helped me learn how people talk, so I really recommend it!! I think if you can hear their voice saying it in your head, you’re on the right track.

For things like inner thoughts, it’s…sort of like dialogue, but less restrained. Inner thoughts are really fun because you not only get to play with being an unreliable narrator, but you also get to have people’s thoughts betray themselves. You can control your thoughts, but only to some extent, so something I really like to play with is cutting off a thought that’s about too admit something the character isn’t ready to admit (but something that they know, deep down). Like:

“Of course, his shirt did…smell nice. Like him. And there was something warm and settling about being here. Not that—not that this felt like home, or anything, it was just nice, and comfortable, and he just wasn’t used to these sorts of things so of course he—

He shook his head.

Never mind. He ought to get out of here anyway.”

Inner thoughts also are fun to tell a bit of a story with. You can contradict yourself or correct yourself, and a metaphor can sort of change the more the character things about it. Your writing doesn’t have to be perfect because thoughts really aren’t—but they will probably be real run-on sentences hahaha. Dashes and commas everywhere!!! The thoughts never end!!

Character-specific advice:

A big part of how I write Sasuke and Naruto depends on the AU it is set in. I’ll write generally about canon here, but obviously things change if Sasuke grew up with a family, if Naruto got some therapy - they might be more in tune with their emotions, they might be more explicit about the way they feel or more honest. A good example of this is in Something Good, where Sasuke is much more honest about himself and emotions and all that than he would be in canon—this is really only because he had Itachi and actually got help for his trauma. This effects Naruto a lot in AUs too because he doesn’t always have the same tendency to really repress himself, the way he does in canon. So you actually have a lot of wiggle room, as long as you’re focusing on the way your characters have lived until they got to this point.

Another bit to think about: my ability to really delve into character’s heads comes from the fact that I write Third Person Limited, which is third person but in specific perspectives as opposed Third Person Omniscient, which has the sort of free-floating narrator where you can be in everyone’s heads all at once, so it will definitely read differently.

For Naruto:

Naruto speaks more casually:

 He swears more, but not as much as Kiba

 He tends to slur some words together, saying things like kinda and gotcha and sorta where Sasuke wouldn’t

Where Sasuke might say something like “this was certainly…powerful” Naruto would say something like “this was real fucking strong!!!’

More exclamation marks, more straightforward, more sort of loud?? Types of thought and dialogue???

Naruto is grammatically incorrect! Spell check is often angry with me about this

Naruto will be the first to notice something is wrong with someone else and spend loads of time thinking and assessing it

Naruto will be the last person to acknowledge and assess something that is wrong with himself

His head is pretty straight forward, he’s less likely to use metaphors and flowery comparisons to describe things

E.g. Sasuke’s eyes were just—weird. Like the could see right through you, right into you—Naruto felt like some part of him needed to hide, because if he kept looking for a second longer Sasuke would know everything—

He looked away.

He tends to repeat himself and not really describe the way he feels, because he doesn’t really understand it. This also goes for positive emotions!! There is a lot of “huh I felt something. Anyway,” with Naruto dfsfs

Naruto expresses a lot of affection by doing stuff for people - this expands past Sasuke, but can come back to bite him. He’s eager to say yes to favours but this links back to him putting others before himself/wanting everyone to love him

For Sasuke:

Sasuke speaks more formally, but not as formal as Itachi

 Also mostly grammatically correct, uses mostly full punctuation in text messages (Itachi uses full punctuation, Naruto is probably all chatspeak but I write it as partial chatspeak to make it easier to read)

Sasuke’s head will run away with itself all the time

He’s quite poetic and romantic, he’ll speak in much more metaphors

E.g. “Naruto’s eyes were like the sky. Like breathing in the air after it rained—when it was cool and crisp and alive, when the world awoke again after it had all been grey. Something in Sasuke certainly felt…alive.”

Sasuke’s more of an asshole

 He’s sarcastic and sort of eyeroll-y at lots of stuff, including himself and his own thoughts. He tends to be more pessimistic and negative, too!

Exception: Naruto. Naruto is amazing and Sasuke secretly believes he can do literally anything. He will NEVER say it out loud unless Naruto forces him out of it (read: in moments where Naruto is being negative/down on himself/being out character in a way that Sasuke feels like he’s a bit scared and needs to shake him with something honest and true) but he will say it in his own head because he can’t control that. Take that, Sasuke

 He can be real judgy—e.g. in Enter Naruto where he calls Itachi’s coat pretentious.

He can be even more judgy about himself. He’s pretty hard on himself and will frequently put himself down in his thoughts, which he thinks about as factual statements

E.g. “nothing compared to his brother, of course, but Itachi was perfect and Sasuke was still...just himself.

 Now if only his father could realize that, too.”

E.g. “And Naruto looked at him as if it was true, but Sasuke knew it wasn’t. Sasuke had chosen this path, and he’d walked down it. Naruto seemed to think he could simply turn around, but Sasuke…knew better.”

He speaks less, which is helped by the fact that you can totally call him out if you’re writing his POV, or you can use Naruto to call him out because Naruto knows him like the back of his hand

His affection is more quiet?? More nonverbal, in general, than Naruto’s. Not that Naruto is like super good at expressing himself either but he will get closer than Sasuke will out loud

That said, Sasuke is really fun to write as not being able to control the way he seeks Naruto out, through small intimate actions like folding his clothes or wanting to spar or sitting just a little too close to Naruto on the couch. Sort of partially unconscious expressions of love - Sasuke is all over those. (He doesn’t have to be, but it’s really fun to write him that way; you all know how I love writing deeply-in-love Sasuke)

Their fatal flaws when it comes to writing Third Person Limited: both of these assholes are really unlikely to comment on specific details, so you’re gonna have to write from somebody else’s POV if you really want to hit home about how cute Sakura’s new outfit looks. You’re only gonna get to describe it if she’s like...asking Naruto about it in some way, or if Sasuke is being a judgy dick about it or something shfsdkhfd

BUT, they will notice those things about each other, especially if they are in love or are starting to fall, and it’s one of those quiet little ways you can play with to make their emotions evident.

I feel like I could actually keep going about all this but this is SO LONG and I might start repeating myself, so I’ll stop here. Thank you for the ask, anon, I hope it was helpful!!! It was fun to answer :)

[bearwicked]

final thoughts - resident evil 7 (biohazard) VS resident evil 8 (village) !SPOILERS FOR BOTH GAMES!

so a while back i have made a post about the things i like and dislike about resi 8, and now since i finished watching both of the games, i wanna put my opinion out there, after these points being supported by few people (literally just my two best friends).

i’m gonna focus on both pros and cons of both games and try (and fail) explain my reasoning. long post incoming, probably.

- let us start with resident evil 7 (biohazard) -

i LOVE this game and everything about it. i truly think that the story and voice acting and generally the graphics are 10/10. however... let’s just make a list.

PROS

- one of the pros i have with this game is certainly the story. the story taking place in one location with few characters and they’re all (almost all) perfect since you can see their personalities and all that. one of my favorite characters was ethan winters and lucas baker for sure. 

- the graphics are outta this world. the lighting, the shading, the the the... how realistic it all looks. the gore is amazing and all the death scenes made my stomach turn, but in a good way.

- character designs are a huge pro for me. the design of any of these characters can tell you a lot about their personality and how much has the mold affected them.

- the pacing. it kept me on my toes the entire time and i kid you not i was afraid to even go to the kitchen after it got dark. there are moments when you think “finally some peace” and you relax a bit, but then the action hits again and it kept me so tense and scared that i just have to praise the game for it, since from what i can remember, no game has ever managed that for me.

- the location designs. HOLY SHIT do the locations look amazing. the baker house is scary, lucas’ party house is also amazing, the tanker (correct me if that’s not what it is, i’m stupid) looks also amazing. it all has its own charm and amazing atmosphere. which brings me to my next point.

- the atmosphere. oh my god the atmosphere. like i said in my pacing point, the atmosphere plays a huge role and it has made this game so much better than anything i ever saw. the dimness of the baker house and just how creepy and crawly everything was, how you were so afraid to turn a corner in fear of getting attacked, how much anxiety was just used so perfectly to the game’s advantage is truly amazing. 

- the fights. i especially love the fight between ethan and jack (all of them) since it truly showed the power of the mold and its abilities. the marguerite fight was truly something that i won’t ever forget. it was creepy, it was gross and i loved it.

- the option to choose between zoe and mia. at this point of the game, you have found your wife mia again, and have the option to save either your wife of 5 years, or the person who has helped you through this nightmare. now i’m not sure if the player (on their first playthrough) is aware of mia’s occupation and just how much does she have to do with all this. because if they’re not aware, they’re pretty much only deciding upon the “she dragged me there, so many hours sitting in a car, where i was later attacked by her, killed, revived, turn into walking mold human, get my arm and leg chopped off, and had suffered immense amount of trauma and agony”, not knowing that mia is what she is.

and now

CONS

- there won’t be much on this list, but i do have some issues.

- mia. oh god mia. i do not like her character to be completely honest. i don’t even have that much of a reason to dislike her, i just simply do.

- the chris redfield design. THEY ARE ALL OVER THE PLACE. i had struggled so much to believe that this is chris. that’s not my daddy buff chris.

and that’s it for resident evil 7 biohazard. now let’s move onto 

- RESIDENT EVIL 8 (VILLAGE) - 

this game is good, truly amazing, but i do have more issues with this one.

PROS

- character  designs. they’re very creative and truly bring me a lot of joy and terror.

- the atmosphere. now this is mostly just because the village reminds me a lot of my village and the places i’ve visited. i like it.

- the rendering and overall graphics. they look,,, good. truly they look amazing, but i sort of liked resi 7 a bit more.

- the voice acting. i like the voices that they give each character, since it truly fits them all so much. angie’s voice is annoying, but in a good sense. i specially like the voices of lady dimitrescu and karl heisenberg. they bring a lot of character into them.

- uhm.

- the story. i like it.

CONS 

- the story. even as much as i love the story, it seems... unfinished to me. in resident evil 7, the story was legendary. but here... not so much. 

- mia again. once again, mia is on the cons list. i just hate the fact that she knew that ethan is basically mold and that she is partially mold, and most likely still has a bit of eveline in her head. which makes conceiving a child ever more dangerous. and this is the reason why mother miranda went after rose so much.  mia utterly failed to explain anything to both chris and ethan.

and that’s pretty much all i had to say. i don’t know why, but replies are constantly turned off, so if you either agree or disagree, feel free to say so in the ask box. again, this is only my humble opinion, that i am not forcing upon anyone.

either way, i’m out.

[askkrenko]

Krenko’s Guide to Pokemon: Elekid Line

Please keep out of reach of small children, including itself.

DESIGN:

Elekid looks dumb. Really dumb. Nothing about Elekid looks like a creature, and it doesn’t look artificial, either. It just looks like something that a human designed as an RPG monster. Now, granted, it is an RPG monster designed by a human, but most of these things have cohesive forms and patterns that, while infused with their element, are still things that you could conceive of as simply existing in a magical world. Elekid is as round as an egg with weirdly thick arms, no knees, and this weird plug-horns sticking straight up that don’t look like any part of anything reasonable. And then it has that big lightning bolt on its chest as if to say ‘hello, I am an electric type.’

And lightning bolts aren’t unreasonable in the design of electric Pokemon, but compare Elekid being clearly stamped to the far wilder stripe on Electabuzz, Pikachu’s tail, or Zebstrika’s mane. There are plenty of Pokemon that are visually clearly labeled as electric types, but Elekid looks like someone actually took time to stamp him. If it was a more artificial Pokemon like Magnemite or Porygon this would be fine, but we’re supposed to believe that Elekid is a baby Electabuzz and instead it just looks fake and bad in every way.

Electabuzz, on the other hand, is great. It’s got big Oni energy with its brutish form and stripes (Oni are often depicted with tiger pelts,) its stripes have a realistic animal-like pattern but still clearly evoke electricity, its little antennae are clearly non-standard but evoke oni horns, and it just looks really fuzzy. Electabuzz is clearly a thunder oni, but is also fully its own thing that is not actually a thunder oni. Electabuzz is sort of peak Pokemon design for me- taking a pre-existing mythological creature, shuffling it on itself, and making something new that evokes that creature without being it outright.

Electivire is… not something I’m happy with. It doesn’t particularly offend me the way Elekid does (save for maybe the ‘plug’ symbol on its back), but its more apelike features don’t feel like a step up for Electabuzz, and while I love the idea of it delivering electricity with prehensile tails, they always look more like tentacles coming out of its back. I think the design could be improved a lot if the tails came down and looped around instead of sticking up over its shoulders. It’s not like they’re long enough to be used as an attack that way, either.  My other issue is the straighter lines. While Electabuzz’ stripes only go partially around like a tiger’s, Electivire’s run full lines, taking away the appearance of ‘fur pattern’ and adding back some of that artificial look from Elekid. 

EVOLUTIONS:

I’m starting to think of cutting this section because I find myself repeating so often. Elekid to Electabuzz at 30 is correct. Electivire being a trade evolution with a unique item that has no effect other than to evolve that one specific Pokemon is just a waste of time and coding effort. Just make it a trade evolution and save the hassle of the Electirizer. 

That said, both pre-evolution and a third form were necessary to give this Pokemon line full playability. Electabuzz was too weak for endgame but too strong to show up before endgame. Adding a baby form that can appear on even early routes and a final form with proper endgame stats really frees up the line to be used anywhere.

Art by hftran

TYPING:

Electivire is a pure electric type, which is mediocre but not bad. Electric has three resistances to one weakness, but on the flip side, only two things are weak to electricity and four types can withstand it. Water and Flying are both common types to see, but Earthquake is a common attack, so a pure Electric type has plenty of opportunities to shine but also has to be careful.

STATS: 

Electivire has a pretty decent stat spread, with slightly below average defenses, good speed, and a great 123 physical attack. Its special attack is 95, which isn’t as good, but is noteworthy because its special attack lineup is better than its physical lineup.

Art by salanchu

ABILITIES:

Electivire’s hidden ability, Vital Spirit, prevents Sleep. This is always fine.

Electivire’s primary ability is Motor Drive. Motor Drive changes its Electricity resistance into an Electricity immunity, and raises its speed every time it’s hit by an Electric attack.

Both of these abilities are situational and require catching the right attack type, and both are equally entirely usable. Electricity’s not so much a threat that Electivire should feel the need for immunity, but at the same time, it’s common enough that being able to switch into it without harm is nice.  Neither of these abilities is bad, but neither of them encourages or unlocks any interesting strategies.

Art by Koeskull

MOVES:

Electivire has the classic “Wrong Attacks” problem, and it’s actually a pretty serious issue. Physically, Electivire’s best attack is Wild Charge, with a power of 90 and recoil of 25%. And this is the best non-signature electric physical attack, so it’s not like it’s missing an attack… But for special attacks, Thunder, Thunderbolt, and Volt Switch are all just better moves to have.

When we look at coverage, we see a similar issue. Yes, Electivire gets the elemental punches and a decent lineup of fighting type attacks and the ever popular Earthquake, but it also gets Flamethrower, Psychic, and Focus Blast.

So what’s the right answer for Electivire for a movelist? There really isn’t one. You can go physical or special or a mix to get the best of both, but either way you’re going to have issues.

“Charge” by Twime777

OVERALL:

Electivire is not as good as it should be. It has a good stat lineup, but with two abilities that don’t really do much and a move lineup that puts too many of its better attacks on its worse stat Electivire just winds up as ‘fine.’ It’s not garbage or anything, because solid speed and high attack are enough to make almost anything work, but it’s not particularly good, either.

The weirdest part here is, this isn’t a problem Electabuzz has. Electabuzz just has higher Special Attack than Physical Attack, but when it evolves, its Physical Attack goes up and its special stays the same.  It results in this awkward Pokemon who learns very few Physical attacks naturally wanting to become a Physical beater and not having quite enough tools to do so. 

You know what’d really help Electivire? If it could get a third ability slot and get Iron Fist put in there. Having 90 power elemental punches would seriously go a long way here.

“Don’t Disturb the Pokemon” by DarienDoodles

[scattered--pages]

So I rewatched Frozer today, and holy hell, I’m not even sure how insanely Lukanette-strong this episode this, to the point that I don’t even know how aware of this even Astruc is? And I don’t only mean the romantic ice rink scene, I mean the episode as a whole serves as a huge sign that very strongly favors Lukanette and also Adrigami, and yes, I say this even considering the ending with Marinette running after Adrien and leaving Luka alone there at the ice rink entrance and even with her eyeing Kagami and Adrien a huge amount of time at the rink. Because it’s hers and Adrien’s words that actually count and explain some things a bit better, including some comments from Luka and Kagami.

This is gonna be a long and analytical ride, so get ready, my folks!  ♡ * cracks knuckles *

1. After being rejected by Ladybug yet again, Adrien decides to gave a chance to another girl he spends a lot of time with and kind of likes and decides that it’s time to finally stop suppressing those feelings. Because when Plagg suggests it’s better to move on to someone else, he doesn’t say anything along the lines of “But I don’t have feelings for Kagami” or “But I will always love only Ladybug”, etc., no, Adrien actually says “Why should it be different with Kagami? Maybe I just have the wrong technique?” - meaning, he actually is envisioning a relationship her and he does see her as someone he could or does care about in a romantic way, he’s just afraid that, since Ladybug’s rejections kind of bruised his self-confidence a bit, why would Kagami do anything other than eventually reject him as well? So he doesn’t, as in a few other occasions, explicitly state that he has no romantic feelings for this person (khm, khm, as he does when teased or asked about his feelings for, among other people, a certain someone else), he lets Plagg know that he has actually already considered this possibility and that he is not against it at all, but rather just fears the same ending as with Ladybug.

2. I think that it’s extremely important to take the first note in mind when viewing the scene where he confides to Marinette that he needs help with a girl. Because, it does sound rather applicable to both Marinette and Kagami when Adrien describes, very clearly in a loving fashion in which you wouldn’t describe your best buddy-bud pal, the girl he likes with dark silky hair, deep eyes, with whom he’s been just friends but “...lately things have been different.” And as similar as this all is to Marinette, his close friend for a LONGER time, and much longer at that, than Kagami, with similar features, etc., he does not decide to switch his focus/target on Mari. He doesn’t seem to even consider her as a person he could romantically care for (not counting Chat Blanc when he ‘suddenly’ became aware of random heaps of feelings for her that he’s supposedly had all along when in fact, he’s never shown or said anything about it and he only ‘realizes’ this when he realizes she’s the other half of his beloved Ladybug). He, very clearly, chooses Kagami as his new focus. Out of all of his female friends and people he’s known longer than Kagami, people with whom he’s shared some sweet moments with even, like with Marinette, he still chooses Kagami and this still isn’t enough for him this entire time to consider Marinette as the goal of his new target transition. As much as it would make arguably more sense to a lot of people, and as much as he clearly likes the type of girls like her, appearance-wise, he still doesn’t choose her.

3. There is something very important Marinette says during her talk with her friends. “I always jumble my words around him, so how could I even manage going out on a date? I think we’re actually meant to be friends, whenever I talk to him as a friend, I actually hardly stammer at all, that’s a sign right there, right?” And YES, this is actually a very mature thing for a character in a cartoon, rather than in a more ‘serious’ TV show to say because it’s actually a very mature way of explaining which types of emotions are actually healthier and better for a basis of a proper romantic relationship. And not being able to talk to this person hardly at all for more than a year and getting reactions akin to panic attacks when this person even touches or looks or says something in your direction is something that’s cute for a few days... Weeks, maybe. But the entire time? Oof. And I know that she, I’m guessing, gets rid of her awkwardness when starting to date him in Chat Blanc, at least I hope that’s what’s implied, but a foundation like this to a relationship is not necessarily a really good one... Not when her behavior towards him shows clear signs of obsession rather than love in an alarming amounts of moments, and when her reactions to him are mainly her being stressed out, insecure and panicked increasingly around him through time instead of decreasingly, for well over a year. Now, this is all perhaps too realistic for the judgement of a TV animated series, but Astruc & co. can be serious with certain topics when they want to and portraying this as such only to use it as a comic-reel type of a cutesy, dorky, pre-dating crushing or whatever just makes no sense and ends up looking at the very least weird and at the worst unhealthy for our girl.

Because she can only really be herself with Adrien, and not even that entirely, when they’re just being friends. When anything more is suggested, that’s all at least partially lost, which, once again, oof... With Luka, however, even though she gets those normal shy moments when he looks at her a certain way, makes her blush or compliments her, she feels comfortable enough to remain herself pretty much the entire. time. she’s. with. him. Which is trough several points in the show even more so encouraged by Luka. Luka who fell for Marinette, the klutzy, shy, adorkable and supposedly ‘less perfect’ half of Ladybug. He didn’t need to know she’s Ladybug to love her. He fell in love, actual romantic love with her strongly and quickly just because of *claps* who *claps* she *claps* is. Shyness and clumsiness and all. And he just generally seems to really care about her happiness and well being and is capable of better assessing her emotions than even her best friend.

Even at the ice rink, when she gets twisted up and nervous in front of Adrien and even subconsciously mean towards the fact that he’s here with Kagami (The entire flat out “you have to let her fall thing”, what was up with that?? I mean, she corrected herself but, whut?? That wasn’t like Marinette at all!), to which Adrien is a bit confused and perhaps slightly worried but Luka takes care of her and takes the control of the situation so easily, just to make her feel better. “Try to be natural. Go with the flow and listen to the rhythm.”, and then he softly adds, “Just follow my lead.” , and Marinette, even though slightly smitten, seems to at least feel better and instantly a bit more composed, which than turns to her being completely relaxed with him on the ice. And yet he’s just the second choice/rebound guy and she’s supposed to end up with the other, arguably more confusing and problematic choice (at least viewed from a realistic human perspective?) BIG oof. Not a good sign and not a good message for kids out there, tbh if this is how they portray love and soulmates and how they portray what seems to be nice and lovely, but actually won’t be the ‘truest’ love in the end (meaning, for the latter, they obviously are, ironically, using Luka and Kagami - the HEALTHIER choices)... 

4. Same goes for Adrien and his feelings for Ladybug and the comparison of his romantic dynamic with Ladybug and then with Kagami. Because his feelings for Ladybug only ever seem to get him down, he can’t even be happy for her that she has someone else she cares about, usually a big sign of just being ‘in love’ with a person or idolizing the person rather than ‘loving’ the person. Which, okay, this is a cartoon, and perhaps it shouldn’t matter, but unless the whole freakin’ thing is taken to the extreme and portrayed as one giant comedy crack cartoon and as long as some themes are adequately realistically addressed than this ends up as something that’s realistically understood as well and, once again, serves as a really bad example of what’s supposed to be the beginning of the ‘soulmate’ type of ‘true love’. While with Kagami, he just seems more... complete. More himself. When he comes in front of her slightly nervous, unsure of how to ask her for her hand, she’s ends up being the counter-balance to him (much like Luka with Mari) by calmly joking with him to make him feel more comfortable, tying his laces and taking him to the ice, so no further worries or stress necessary.

She’s like the yin to his yang, really, and her composure balances his more emotional, quirky, happy-go-lucky personality really wonderfully, even in moments when he needs an antithesis like this to help him because he’s feeling in doubt or down. And even now, he accepts her hand, smiles, and the situation just goes so well and nice for him because she, like several other times as well, was able to really perfectly compliment his personality with hers in a way that achieves both of them being happy, themselves and relaxed with each other. And Adrien sometimes does this for her, too, and I just think, much like Lukanette, that this is a really sweet and nice example of a proper young romantic relationship and it breaks my heart that, yet again, the better, more natural choice that makes the characters more happier is the secondary one that’s going to most likely end up with someone like Kagami and Luka be cast back into the friendzone and aside for Adrinette to... somehow? happen again.

5. Much like Adrien’s reaction to Kagami as someone new that he has feelings for, it was the same when Tikki questioned Marinette why she was upset. She didn’t say “Well, because Adrien only sees Kagami”, “Because it hurts me a bit to see them together”, etc., oddly enough, she doesn’t even address her feelings towards Adrien here, she immediately and only says, “I like Luka. He’s really nice, but... do you think he’s just like Adrien, just a friend?” By which she actually a) admits that she likes him, most likely as more than a friend due to the next part where she’s worriedly asking Tikki if, b) Luka is just like Adrien towards her, ‘just a friend’. Which is a huge thing and, once again, this could just be Astruc & co.’s way of messing with fans to stir up drama, but by now, this show, and these ships, have had way too many weird and not that healthy or the best examples of ‘romantic’ feelings and crushes for it to just constantly, 24/7 be a random array of stirring up the fans. I mean, knowing Astruc, it’s possible, but once again, if they’re repeatedly doing this with the love hexagon and the majority of these things, including the love square interactions shouldn’t be taken entirely seriously, that’s a bit of a silly thing to do in a show that, like I said, can be more decent and serious when it wants to, and it’s a really immature thing of a bunch of adult writers to do rather than dealing with actual character relationships and personality developments. I mean, I may sound harsh but, come on.

6. “There may be a certain chill now between us.” Once again, I just really don’t like the whole passive aggressive, jealous, pouty behavior that Chat displays in front of Ladybug to, supposedly, try to cause some reaction out of her in his favor and all while separating from her due to this when literal PARIS is at stake here atm. “We don’t always have to do everything together, you know! It’s not like we’re a couple!” That, especially in a situation like this is actually a very manipulative to do, because it seems that the other person deserves guilt-tripping and to feel bad simply for the fact that they are entitled to their own choices, that they simply don’t reciprocate your romantic feelings for them and that they want to be friends but just feel uncomfortable with you advancing with them so frequently even when knowing what the situation is. and while it’s okay and cute-ish for young crushes when it happens once or twice, this was far from being the only time he’s been like that with her and, for the who knows what time in this post: that ain’t love. That ain’t a good example. And that ain’t romantic or cute in the slightest. As someone who dated a guy who acted like that on a daily level, this is not something that should be romanticized or encouraged, but that’s just my opinion.

7. “You should go over and talk to him...” I know this goes without saying because a lot of people already really praise Luka for how selflessly and maturely he dealt with this, but I just have to add this because he is just. so. good to Marinette! And puts her emotions and needs in front of himself every time, even when it means she needs to potentially deal with some things in a way that might hurt him, he cares more about her and her getting her own happiness or at least closure rather than forcing his affections on her or insisting even on the smallest of things, like riding the subway together home. Nope, he cares, in a surprisingly mature and kind way, more about her in this moment, and in so many others, but I won’t elaborate in to too much details like I didn’t in some examples above either because this post is focused mainly around this episode.

And that, my dears, is the tea. Or at least my potentially overly-invested-in-this-show opinion.

DISCLAIMER: I mean no hate towards any character, I really love everyone from the love hexagon, I just really think some pairings within it are better for each other than others.

[goldenkamuyhunting]

Ramblings and crazy theory time about GK chap 239 “Discharge”

So… well, Noda continues with a chapter whose sense of humor makes me feel what Kikuta is feeling.

Yeah, really, sorry, but this is not my sort of thing.

The cover is…

… well, it’s apparently based on this video from the movie “She Hate me” by Spike Lee. I warn you, watch at your own risk.

So we go back on the story that see Usami and our wannabe ‘Jack’ that after just a moment of standoff… pardon, jack-off attack each other with the ‘weapons they have at hands’ (I’m sure you can figure what I’m talking about without having me to spell it out), Usami yelling to a shocked and grossed out Kikuta that guy is the killer before… well, ‘firing’. In a “Matrix” like scene ‘Jack’ avoids and fires back only for Usami to avoid in a beyond spectacular manner.

Jack then runs away, only for Kikuta to pull out a more conventional weapon, one of his many Nagant M1895 and fire at him multiple times before chasing him with Usami, the two going to two separate ways to try to encircle ‘Jack’.

Too bad that Jack as a horse and, with it, slams against Usami, sending him flying.

Kikuta manages to hit both him...

and his hat, which falls.

If the image we’re shown is reliable Jack has short hair. Kikuta then tosses his now completely discharged beloved Nagant away (his eyes aren’t shown to better deliver how this pains him... will he managed to recover her later?)...

...and runs to ‘Jack’, managing to grab on him and climb on his horse. He then grabs another of his Nagant (honestly, if this was another manga I’ll expect Kikuta to have a hammerspace filled with them but more ‘realistically’ he has just more than one holster under his coat) and point it to Jack’s head.

Unluckily for him ‘Jack’ still has a good hold on his ‘very personal peculiar weapon of choice’ and is reading it to fire.

Kikuta, who might face an army of Russians trained to kill him but not THIS (and I don’t blame him that’s a job solely for people like Usami though I think Ushiyama might do good as well) starts sweating and, instead than blasting our convict’s head away, tries protecting himself with poor results.

In fact ‘Jack’ gets him in the eyes and causes him to fall off the horse (I guess congratulation are in order to ‘jack’ for his ability to accurately aim behind himself while riding on a horse with such weapon).

Usami reaches Kikuta, whcih complains ‘Jack’ managed to get his eyes (trust me Kikuta, you aren’t the only one who was screaming ‘my eyes!’ through this chapter), then the two resume running after ‘Jack’ but they’re neither Koito nor the Tsukinator and so ‘Jack’ on his horse, can easily distance them. They hear a woman screaming but get there too late, only to find her dead.

Kikuta wonders if he did this while in the middle of running from them. The scene switches to a running and panting ‘Jack’ who evidently has discharged the horse and, with his already bloody knife attacks another prostitute, murdering her as well.

I wonder if he’s panting also due to the shoot he got from Kikuta. He doesn’t seem to be blending though. On a sidenote our ‘Jack’ confirms himself to be left-handed. The first time he killed he used his left, he took care to… ‘charge his gun’ with his left and now he’s stabbing again this woman with his left.

It’s worth to point out that Japan at the time wasn’t a left-handed people friendly environment, with people being discriminated and people were afraid they wouldn’t get married if they were left handed and only from 1989 the percentage of children undergoing correction steadily began to drop -- although still around 60%... and it’s also worth to remember Japan isn’t the sole country which had bias against left-handed people.

I’ll quote Wikipedia on this just to give you a general idea as I find meaningful they even have a page devoted to this:

‘In many religions, including Christianity, the right hand of God is the favored hand. For example, Jesus sits at God's right side. God's left hand, however, is the hand of judgement. The Archangel Gabriel is sometimes called "God's left hand" and sits at God's left side. Those who fall from favor with God are sent to left, as described in Matthew 25: 32–33, in which sheep represent the righteous and goats represent the fallen: "And he shall separate them one from another, as a shepherd divideth his sheep from the goats. And he shall set the sheep on his right, but the goats on his left." In 19th-century Europe, homosexuals were referred to as "left-handed". In Protestant-majority parts of the United Kingdom, Catholics were called "left-footers", and vice versa in Catholic-majority parts of Ireland and Irish America. Black magic is sometimes referred to as the "left-hand path", which is strongly associated with Satanism.’ [Wikipedia: Bias against left-handed people]

… so, if ‘Jack’ is from another country there’s a huge chance he moved from an unfriendly environment to another.

It’s worth to mention that the original ‘Jack the Ripper’ was originally assumed to be left-handed when they speculated he would kill his victims standing in front of them. Later they figured out he first would render his victims unconscious by strangling them and then kill them while they were on the ground, likely positioning himself behind them so that blood wouldn’t fall on him.

So either our ‘Jack’ isn’t the original ‘Jack’ or Noda is constructing him according to earlier theories on his modus operandi (he doesn’t strangle, he kills the victim as she’s standing in front of himself, he uses his left hand).

Now, back to the story… I got the impression Kikuta managed to hit ‘Jack’ when he shoot him… but ‘Jack’ doesn’t seem to be leaving a trail of blood as he walks so it’s hard to say if he’s panting and running that way due to a wound whose bleeding he managed to stop or just due to fatigue.

It’s the day after.

Takuboku Ishikawa, our journalist working for Hijikata, is on one of the crime scenes,

still pesteringon details about the murder the weird policeman we met in chap 239 (remember him?)...

...while the latter is ignoring him. The policeman has the hat lowered on his eyes.

There’s another known face and it’s the photographer.

(Remember? He was there too and lol, in the exact some pose it looks as if Noda has copypasted him there.)

He doesn’t seem to be left-handed but since left-handed people were corrected, in everyday life ‘Jack’ probably can’t use his left hand so it might be useless to search for a left-handed guy using his left hand in a normal situation.

Everyone else among the bystanders seems to be a new guy... okay, maybe the old and partially bald guy might be the same in both pictures but I’m not sure. In this chapter he seems curious but, who knows, he might be a different character just drawn for background. Besides his hair seems too long to be ‘Jack’s’.

Well, to be honest there’s another guy who’s not a new guy but we’ll get to this in a moment.

Kikuta comments ‘Jack’ this time killed two women and wonders if he was just trying to create chaos to escape or was merely doing it to taunt them. According to ‘sperm detective Usami’ it can be just something he decided in advance.

It’s worth to mention the canonical victims of the original ripper were:

Mary Ann Nichols, found on the 31th of August 1888

Annie Chapman, found on the 8th of September 1888

Elizabeth Stride and Catherine Eddowes, both found on the 30th of September

Mary Jane Kelly, found on the 9th of November 1888

So yes, on his third murdering attempt Jack killed two women so we can speculate this is a copycat or, if he’s meant to be the real Jack, his backstory would include a reason to murder 2 women at his third attempt (in the real Jack’s case it was speculated he murdered 2 because he was interrupted during the murder of the first woman so it wasn’t planned).

Anyway Kikuta wonders if Jack will come back and how it’ll be troublesome for them to track him now that he has 4 ‘sacred places’.

However Kikuta now tells us something relevant. He managed to get a look at the side of his face… and at his dick. I hope he doesn’t plan to go demand people to show them to him so he could identify ‘Jack’…

Usami suggests they’ll go check the other crime scene so that Kikuta might try to spot him. Kikuta though, has spotted something else so he tells Usami to go ahead that that he’ll join him later.

What Kikuta has spotted is the ‘fail master of disguise’ Private First Class Ariko Rikimatsu, which starts sweating as hell as Kikuta speaks to him and who tells him not to turn around and that basically he could recognize the sexy bulky build of Ariko’s body everywhere.

Okay, Kikuta didn’t exactly said that but really, there are PLENTY of men with a bulky build so, unless Kikuta is a bulky build bodies expert, his words sounds a bit… unbelievable unless it’s Ariko’s bulky build body itself who’s special to him.

And anyway, really Ariko, don’t get so nervous. You fail at deceiving people it seems.

Kikuta says he never heard Tsurumi talking about Ariko being there so he asks him if he came there with Hijikata.

We don’t get to hear Ariko’s reply but it’s likely he confirmed it. Still it’s interesting it was cut as well as the fact Kikuta wanted to speak with Ariko away from Usami’s ears.

Did Kikuta want clarifications on why Ariko betrayed him? Or just make sure Usami won’t attack him again? Or has Kikuta his own plan?

We’ll see.

And is Ogata overlooking that meeting from somewhere? I bet he knows Ariko isn’t trustworthy so can it be he’s keeping tabs on him? Or is Hijikata who’s doing so? Or both?

Anyway the scene switches to the coast of the sea of Okhotsk…

and I find this interesting because we see that there’s a city there… but we aren’t given its name. As long as they weren’t Ainu villages Noda had always given us the names of the places in which the characters were from big cities to minor spots like, for example, the village of Fukagawa, regardless of them spending a lot of time on the place or just a chapter, like the coal mining town of Utashinai.

When this first happen in chap 225

I though it was because Tsurumi was on the move, from coastal city to another, although it really didn’t persuade me… and maybe it could also be Noda for some reason didn’t have material on that part of Hokkaido so the whole thing would be edited in the volume version with the name of the place. However quite a while has gone from chap 225 and we still don’t have an EXACT idea of where he is, not even through a map.

There are big cities on that coastal area, from Wakkanai, the city ship on which Asirpa rode was supposed to reach, to Okoppe to the well known Abashiri… but also various small cities.

They could have said he’s still in the Wakkanai area instead…

Is there a reason to leave us in the dark even when Tsurumi clearly is in Japanese cities?

Is it a Watsonian reason or a Doylist one?

Anyway Tsurumi informs his men he received a telegram from Kikuta (who therefore knew in which city he was and this means either Tsurumi warned him where to find him day by day or he’s not exactly moving around a lot).

He doesn’t tell us what Kikuta said but that he’ll only leave two men behind to continue searching for Asirpa (meaning he hadn’t figured she has long moved from the coastal area) and the rest will go with Tsurumi to Sapporo.

The final page shows both Tsurumi and Hijikata (who’s apparently outside the city looking at something… Ogata practicing with the rifle? Ariko secretly meeting with Kikuta? Sugimoto’s group ALSO coming to Sapporo?).

The implication seems to be that Ariko has tattled out Hijikata’s presence in Sapporo and Kikuta has relied the information to Tsurumi therefore Tsurumi plans to go there and have a faceoff with Hijikata.

Tsurumi didn’t see the need to move for just a convict but if it’s Hijikata, who might have the remaining tattooed skins as well as info... well, the thing becomes much more interesting.

So with everyone being or going to Sapporo, I wonder if Sofia (currently in Hokkaido), the candy seller convict (last time seen in Utashinai) and the still missing convict (whereabouts unknown) will also go there.

Only 3 more chapters are needed to end volume 24 but I wouldn’t dislike it if, before the end, Hijikata and Ogata were to have a chat. This volume showed us some of Sugimoto’s past.

More on Ogata’s past would also be appreciated but, if I’ve to be honest, I’m also looking forward to more info about Kikuta and about Kadokura.

When Hijikata finds the room in which Inudo kept all the material he had collected about him in his fangirlish obsession to get Hijikata, we can see on the wall a list of all the convicts that had been cellmates with Hijikata but also Kadokura’s name.

Or better ‘Kadokura Tanuki’ (門倉タヌキ), Tanuki being the nick Inudou gave to Kadokura.

Let’s start with this.

A Tanuki (狸 or タヌキ) is a Japanese folklore animal, commonly associated with the Japanese raccoon dog,  which in folktales often played the part of foolish animal, often with really big testicles (that’s why Inudou said he pictured him as pathetic Tanuki with big balls in chap 118)… however if we compare it to the Kitsune (fox), which are the epitome of shape-changing animals, one saying is "the fox has seven disguises, the tanuki has eight (狐七化け、狸八化け)". The tanuki is thus superior to the fox in its disguises, but unlike the fox, which changes its form for the sake of tempting people, tanuki do so to fool people and make them seem stupid. Note that 8 is a lucky number, which might tied to how Kadokura is actually lucky. However it’s also worth to mention the kanji used to write Tanuki (prior to the linguistic reform of 1947) was "貍", and referred to all the middle sized mammals, especially to wild cats.

So… why all this rambling?

Well, not only Inudo didn’t write down Kadokura’s name, just the surname plus his nick but near Kadokura’s name there’s also written ‘real father’ and then what look like 4 kanji, none of them similar to the kanji used to write Kadokura’s surname.

So basically not only we don’t know Kadokura’s name but also Kadokura’s surname and we’re facing someone who, for association, is compared to an animal much more expert at disguising than the fox (Inkamart).

Now I wouldn’t question Kadokura’s loyalty to Hijikata. In vol 18 he was willing to die to save him. He also seems confident he’s unlucky… and he might have been forced to change surname because his father was on the losing side of the Boshin and therefore carrying his father’s surname would have been bad for him.

The point is if not even his surname is… well, his surname, Kadokura is a men shrouded in mystery, about whom we know nothing except he moved to Abashiri 7 years ago, with Sugimoto commenting he’d been looking over Nopperabou by 7 years… meaning he moved there when Nopperabou moved there (note that Asirpa said the gold incident happened 5 years before but then everyone when with the 7 year thing so maybe there was a retcon).

In short maybe this is all for fun and the truth behind Kadokura is nothing special… but it can also be there’s much more to him it looks like. We’ll see.

[azurefishnets]

@siverwrites asked: 4, 7, 20 (Sorry for accidentally Tumblr-ing your ask! Thank you for sending it!)

4. Share a sentence or paragraph from your writing that you’re really proud of (explain why, if you like)

“There are no ends on the Zero. What was doesn’t end, only fractures outward onto new paths – a fractal spiral of resignation, where the perpendiculars will never meet again, only growing outward into smaller and smaller crevices.”

From 3 Fragments (and a vision of a dream): I’m really proud of this whole fic for a variety of reasons, but especially this line (which seems to resonate with others who’ve read it too). It’s layers of metaphors about mold, about goodbyes, about what exists where there seems to be nothing left. It’s about gifts, and about connections, and about missing someone, and I somehow managed to distill it into 37 words! I felt pretty damn clever after writing it, I can tell you that.

7. What do you think are the characteristics of your personal writing style? Would others agree?

Dang it, I knew you’d ask me this. Um, I guess I’m good at finding little bits of worldbuilding meta to throw in there? I really like taking a small detail from whatever canon I’m writing and expanding on it in cool ways. Stylistically, I tend to try to lean on realistic sounding dialogue and descriptions that evoke more senses than just sight. I have no idea if others would agree. Others reading this, please feel free to chime in and tell me what you think the characteristics of my personal writing style are, because I’m really interested.

20. Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

Well. There’s a lot but one that immediately comes to mind: in the fic I mentioned above, one little piece of meta I love that no one’s picked up on (except one person!) is that it is exactly 1024 words, the size of a chunk of data. Since the fic is partially about a quasi-sentient computer program named Xanadu...sort of...it fits well. Additionally, that entire fic is a bunch of nested references and callbacks to Kubla Khan, by Samuel Taylor Coleridge, which is ALSO about Xanadu, albeit a very different kind.

In a fic I recently wrote, which has yet to be revealed, there is a similar device which I’m choosing to denote that something is taking place with Xanadu’s involvement.

In FFVI/GT AU land, there’s a ton of  meta I’m pulling in from everywhere I can find it. World of Ruin stuff, War of the Magi stuff, mask stuff. Especially for names! When I introduce a named character there’s always a TON of research that goes into the name I choose. Acacia and Tinctoria, both characters in my longest published fic, Nothing Like Home, have extremely meaningful names-- Tinctoria's name comes from Indigofera tinctoria: the name for the common indigo plant. There was a rebellion fought over it in India-- the common folks and planters rising up against the overloards who sought to control the profits and the power, i.e. the so-called "Blue Rebellion," and much of the world’s ongoing slave population is focused around the indigo industry. Acacia comes from a blueish flower with edible seeds (if they’re prepared the correct way), and is a cyanogenic glycoside, which is thematically excellent for both FFVI (Cyan Garamonde, also cyanide is a colorless and deadly poison in water) and GT (blue people, deadly names).

I guess my other big foray into meta is the NPC bible siverwrites and I are putting together for the Trails games. It is proving invaluable for fics. I can’t wait to use it for more of them!

[sophiehotch]

PORTRAITS OF CONGRESS: CHARLIE KEETING (NY-10) BY SOPHIA HOTCHNER - AUGUST 11, 2020 - THE WASHINGTON POST

When I sat down with Representative Charlie Keeting - an environmental activist and the current NY-10 Representative, there was an immediate sense of warmth. Maybe that had to do with the fact that the bustling-yet-quiet walls of the cafe they had chosen to meet in was a beautiful shade of corals and yellows, or maybe it had to do with the Representative’s dedication to making sure I was comfortable, but there’s no denying that Charlie Keeting has a warm heart beating in his chest.

I met Charlie Keeting (who uses they/them and he/him pronouns interchangeably) back at the beginning of the year when I had the opportunity to collect information on current Democratic activists, of which Charlie had made the list. Their activism in trans health and trans safety (they’re agender themselves), their work with LGBTQ+ youth within their district and beyond, and their unflinching stance on climate change have made them a bright young face in Washington - one many kids and young adults can see themselves in. On top of that, their eclectic style and infectious laughter certainly made me feel right at home within our small world of interviews.

We order before we get started, Representative Keeting settling on a Mediterranean Salad - “Vegan,” they say, “I’m working on it, but it’s not always feasible for everyone, and that’s okay,” - and then we begin our conversation about what it means to be a leader in congress at an age so young, what’s next for the New York Representative, and the upcoming elections.

SOPHIA HOTCHNER: So, Representative, tell us a little about yourself - where you grew up, what your life was like at a young age?

REP. KEETING: I grew up in a small suburb in north New York - Rochester, to be exact. I was more than fortunate enough to be able to grow up in a household that was extremely LGBTQ+ friendly, and despite being a child of divorce, really lovely. My mom came out when I was six. She told my dad she had met someone else and we just kind of moved on from there. My upbringing was... a bit abnormal to say the least for two reasons: one, my dad and mom remained best friends (which I know doesn’t always happen in divorces), and two, my dad was halfway across the country. Regardless, my parents were more than supportive of everything I did, and Rochester might have been a small town, but it has a lovely queer community within it.

SOPHIA HOTCHNER: It’s really great that you had such a supportive community at such a young age.

REP. KEETING: Honestly, I’m thankful for it every day. Growing up being encouraged to explore myself, my interests, and my identity is definitely one of the reasons I feel so comfortable today.

SOPHIA HOTCHNER: Has DC and the world of politics changed that at all? 

REP. KEETING: I certainly don’t always have the freedoms that I’d like to have in regards to how I’d like to dress. Regulations on the hill for what constitutes as formal are still extremely gendered. It’ll be something I work on if I get the chance to return to the Capitol in the winter.

SOPHIA HOTCHNER: Yes, you’re up for re-election, correct?

REP. KEETING: I am indeed.

SOPHIA HOTCHNER: How are you feeling about the campaign?

REP. KEETING: I’m feeling pretty good. If the citizens of New York City want me in office, they’ll put me there, you know? If that’s not what they want, I’ll surely be doing this work in other capacities. I’ve been in and around Washington since 2012 doing different sorts of climate and political work, so I’m pretty confident that I won’t be leaving the city or the realm of politics anytime soon.

SOPHIA HOTCHNER: You did work for different politicians before you were elected office, correct? Writing grants and doing climate crisis research?

REP. KEETING: Yes, I used to be knee deep in grant-writing on any given day in the first few years i spent here. I don’t think I miss it completely, but I do miss some of it sometimes.

SOPHIA HOTCHNER: Did you always know you wanted to go into politics eventually? Or was it just a natural next step?

REP. KEETING: I can confidently say the younger version of me had no idea they were going to end up in politics. I didn’t really know what I wanted to do, but my parents have always been supportive no matter what I attempted to make of my life. I knew from a young age I was heavily interested in science and the arts, so I figured I’d end up doing something in those categories. I still kind of do, and I still paint and create art displays and curate galleries when I can, but that’s definitely taken a back seat to the science side of my interests, which have turned very political with the climate crisis. It was definitely more of a natural next step to slide into office.

SOPHIA HOTCHNER: Sometimes things just fall into place, don’t they?

REP. KEETING: It certainly feels like it. My degree was like that too. So many people ask me why I double majored in Climate Science and Art History, but it just felt right. Moral of the story? Pursue your interests as much as you can. Hobbies, career options, whatever they are. Pursue it. Nothing is too small to care about.

SOPHIA HOTCHNER: That’s good advice. I know younger me would have loved to hear that more. On the topic of your schooling and on the climate crisis - you’re nearing the completion of your PhD, yes? How has your schooling and your continuing education informed your stance on certain topics?

REP. KEETING: Since I had the opportunity to complete my masters degree in Climate & Society, I was able to put a lot of that work to use right away because it was a partially practical degree. I ended up working for a couple of environmental firms here in DC, working with politicians to help implement eco-friendly laws, but also tangible laws. I’d say that’s the biggest way my education has helped impact my stance -- in a much more actionable way. Studying both sides of it allowed me to see the changes that needed to be made from the science side of it, but also taught me the best way to explore how things can be implemented in a manageable and realistic way.

SOPHIA HOTCHNER: At the same time, you’ve been a large inspiration for a lot of young activists, both within Climate Activism as well as in the LGBTQ+ Community  - what are your thoughts on that? Do you have any words of wisdom for your followers?

REP. KEETING: As much as it’s an honor to be seen as an inspiration, I’m not the first and I’m certainly not the last to fight for what I’m fighting for. I’m just one person who was elected into office to help do the work from a legislative perspective. Connect with your local communities, find workplaces and grassroots communities that stand for what you believe in. I didn’t start in politics, after all - I started there, and it most certainly shaped who I am today. And - as cheesy as it is - follow your heart. As long as you love what you do, you’ll never be really bored a day in your life. Frustrated? Maybe. But never bored.

SOPHIA HOTCHNER: On that note of inspiration and firsts, this is your first term in congress, and you’re only 34. How has being a young activist in Congress shaped your experience?

REP. KEETING: I wish it wasn’t true, but people do tend to take me less seriously. What part of lack of respect that falls under is up for debate, but I do think my age definitely comes into play. It’s easy to claim seniority and push that ‘seasoned minds know best’, but I don’t think that’s true. I think what it really comes down to is how dedicated you are to your work, no matter your age. At the same time, being a young representative in Congress has allowed me to connect with a demographic of young voters that has felt consistently under-heard from the older members of the administration. By no means do I want to be a spokesperson, and I’m certainly not going to be young forever, but I think my age has helped me form an immediate connection with a lot of younger individuals who are maybe voting for the first time, or voting for the third or fourth time, who want to see their ideas moving into congress.

SOPHIA HOTCHNER: Do you have any plans for last minute moves in the House before your re-election? Or will you be waiting for a hopeful new term to bring forward any movements or bills to the table?

REP. KEETING: A combination of both. I know there’s always the chance that I might not get another term in office, so I definitely have a few more things up my sleeve before the elections potentially take that chance. But I can confidently say that if I’m able to take up office again in January, rest assured I won’t be playing nice. I’ve got a lot I want to do, and a team behind me ready to help me make it happen.

SOPHIA HOTCHNER: Last question, for the sake of the fact that I kind of have to - you’ve vocalized your support for the Democratic Candidates, correct? How do you see the landscape of Capitol Hill changing depending on who takes office?

REP. KEETING: I most certainly have. I’m a vocal supporter of Berkeley-Zafar, and I’ll continue to be so. I’m not sure exactly how my job will change after the elections quite yet, but definitely the majority in the house will shape how much I’ll be able to get done next term, considering most of my politics aren’t quite… in line with most of the GOP’s. But we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. We still have some time left on the campaign trail, and I’ll be excited to see how it all plays out, that’s for sure.

I thanked Representative Keeting for sitting down for lunch with me as we wrap up, talking more casually about the meal and they ask me how everything’s going at the Post. It’s small conversations like this that make it easy to see why the Representative is only projecting upward. Their interest in community building and cross-disciplinary studies make them a strong candidate for politics, despite not growing up rooted in politics. They care and are passionate about their work, and it’s easy to feel that through the few conversations I’ve had with them. I’m positive others who have interacted with Representative Keeting know exactly what I’m talking about. 

Representative Keeting is currently running for re-election within the 10th District of New York State (Manhattan) and you can find their platform located on their website. Make sure you’re registered to vote, and get out to the polls this November!

[zen3to5]

J/H 7-01: Time is On My Side

Here we go - home stretch. In this timeline, Season 7 is the last.

We're starting out simple - a basic continuity correction to wrap up Jackie living in the hotel and Pam living with Bob. As always with the partial scripts, *** separate scenes, and context should be clear for those who have seen the episodes (but just in case - these are rewrites/replacements for every scene relating to the Bob/Pam/Midge triangle.) And, this being the first episode of a season, I couldn't resist imagining another new set of opening credits (though realistically, this may have been saved for Episode 2, to save the surprise of Donna's hair.)

FF.Net AO3

***

MAIN TITLES   INT. VISTA CRUISER – NIGHT   A) The gang out on the road. Eric drives, with Donna next to him and Hyde in the passenger’s seat. Behind him sits Jackie, then Fez, then Kelso.   THEME SONG: Hangin’ out...   B) Donna drives, with Eric next to her, his arm around the back of her seat. Hyde and Jackie sit together behind the passenger’s seat, Hyde’s arm around Jackie.   THEME SONG: Down the street...   C) Kelso drives, with Fez next to him and Hyde in the passenger’s seat.   THEME SONG: The same old thing...   D) Red drives, with Eric next to him and Kitty in the passenger’s seat, holding Schatzi. Behind her sits Hyde, then Bob, then Donna.   THEME SONG: We did last week...   E) Fez drives, with Jackie next to him and Hyde in the passenger’s seat. Behind him sits Eric, then Donna, then Kelso. Jackie leans into Fez as the gang sing along.   THEME SONG: Not a thing to do...   F) Red drives, with his arm around Kitty next to him. Bob sits behind the passenger’s seat, smiling and looking out the window as he sings along.   THEME SONG: But talk to you...   G) Jackie drives, with Hyde next to her and Kelso in the passenger’s seat. Behind him sits Fez, then Donna, then Eric.   THEME SONG: We’re all alright!   H) Eric drives, with Donna next to him and Hyde in the passenger’s seat. Behind him sits Jackie, then Fez, then Kelso.   THEME SONG: We’re all alright!   I) The creators’ license plate, a 1978 sticker in the corner.   HYDE (v.o.): Hello, Wisconsin!

***   INT. FORMAN KITCHEN – DAY   KITTY makes sandwiches on the stovetop. JACKIE watches from her perch on the island. RED roots around in the fridge.   ERIC enters through the patio door and strolls over to Kitty.   ERIC: Hello.   He picks up a sandwich, but Red crosses to him before he can take a bite.   RED: Oh-ho, what are you doing with that sandwich? I thought that we established that you needed a plan.   ERIC: Oh, I've got a plan. Donna is gonna work full-time at the radio station and rededicate herself to feminism.   KITTY: (scoffs) Feminists. Equal pay's fine, but put a little lipstick on.   Jackie nods in agreement.   ERIC: Whatever. (to Red) Anyway, that's the plan. We came up with it this morning.   RED: That's Donna's plan. What's your plan?   ERIC: My plan... is to support Donna's plan. Thought you had me there, didn't you?   Red snatches the sandwich from his hands.   RED: Get out.   ERIC: Fine. But know this - I will have my fried chicken.   JACKIE: And maybe while you’re getting it, you can find an outfit that doesn’t make you look like a dweeb. (Eric glares at her) Sorry - bigger dweeb.   Eric looks ready to retort, but instead turns heel and exits into the living room.   Jackie hops off the island and helps herself to a sandwich, ignoring Red’s glare.   RED: You know, Jackie, Steven’s downstairs. You could go eat with him. Or you could go back to your hotel, where I don’t have to pay for the food. (Jackie doesn’t move) What I’m saying is – you get out too.   JACKIE: But I had to help Donna with her hair, and my mom’s having lunch over here with Bob and she asked me to join them. And, I don’t like being in the hotel when Steven isn’t working but the bellboy from New Jersey is. He’s like Fez, but he has keys to everywhere.   KITTY: Bob’s bringing Pam? I thought he and Midge were coming over. Oh, is he still trying to date them both like some kind of gigolo?   JACKIE: (nods) It’s like Three’s Company gone wrong, except only one of them’s good-looking.   BOB and MIDGE enter through the patio door.   BOB: Hey, everybody, I think you know my date and former wife Midge.   MIDGE: Bob, they know me. (to Red & Kitty) It's me. Midge!   KITTY: So, does this mean you two are back together?   BOB: Well, we've been talking things over, and we're pretty close to working things out.   PAM stomps in through the patio door.   PAM: What is going on here?   BOB: Pam!   MIDGE: (grabs Bob’s arm) Back off! He's mine!   PAM: (to Bob) That is not what you said to me in bed last night.   MIDGE: (to Pam) Well, you should have heard what he said to me last night in the hot tub.   PAM: (to Bob) You told me that you got up to get an ice cream cone   BOB: (to Pam) I don't know why you're upset. I wasn't gone that long.   JACKIE: (beat) So... who’s hungry?   Her interjection does nothing to ease the tension. Pam and Midge both glower at Bob, who looks back and forth between them.   ***   INT. FORMAN LIVING ROOM – DAY   The aftermath of lunch. Red sits in his chair, and Kitty and Jackie sit on the couch, all of them watching Midge and Pam continue to pressure Bob.   PAM: All right, Bob, this situation with the three of us in the same house clearly isn’t working.   RED: For example – you can’t even have this fight over there.   BOB: (to Pam & Midge) Look, I don’t think it’s that bad. I mean, I’ve tried a lot of things over the years with the ladies - hot tubs, wife swapping, drug use, jogging. All things considered, things are going pretty well.   MIDGE: They’re not going well for me, Bob.   PAM: (to Midge) There, you see? We have something we agree on. (to Bob) Now, you decide right now whether you want to throw away everything we’ve worked for together over the last few months.   JACKIE: I thought the whole point of you living with the Pinciottis was to work on yourself so we could go home.   PAM: Yeah, sure, whatever.   She waves off Jackie’s remark, her eyes never leaving Bob. Jackie and Kitty share a look, and Red rolls his eyes, as the ladies keep staring down a sweating Bob.   ***   INT. FORMAN LIVING ROOM – EVENING   It’s just Pam left who’s imposing on the Formans. She paces up and down, while Red still sits in his chair and Kitty still sits on the couch.   PAM: (to Kitty) Thank you so much for hearing me out about Bob. It’s so warm and friendly. You simply must teach me how to be like that.   KITTY: Well, Pamala, I would just hate to see you throw the last few months away.   PAM: I know I was living there to work on myself. But Bob is such a sweet guy and I really love him.   RED: Are you kidding? If Bob’s eyes ever go, you’d be dating Mr. Magoo.   PAM: (beat) Well... he’s still rich, isn’t he?   KITTY: (to Pam) I think what my husband is trying to say is that now that Midge is back, that shattered family has a chance to reunite. Donna needs her mother, and Jackie needs a home, not a hotel room. And I think if you step aside and let Bob and Midge get back together, it will really show Jackie that you’ve learned to put family needs ahead of your own, and then you two can go home as mother and daughter.   RED: What my wife’s trying to say is: you should leave and take the loud one with you.   Pam looks confused; Kitty, irritated.   ***   INT. PINCIOTTI KITCHEN – EVENING   Eric and DONNA are at the kitchen table, with a first aid kit between them. Jackie watches from the island as Donna patches up a scrape on Eric’s forehead.   ERIC: You know what? Falling off that water tower was a sign. The minute I stopped working hard, I accomplished exactly what I needed to do. (holds up ring) I found the ring.   JACKIE: And if you're gonna land on a diamond, it's best to land on the smallest one ever made.   ERIC: Well, I'm afraid your schoolyard insults have no power here, child. (stands) I'm a whole new me. Tougher, braver and LOUDER! I'm gonna tell my dad what's what and get my gosh-darn fried chicken.   He exits out into the backyard.   Pam enters, suitcase in hand.   JACKIE: Mom, where are you going?   PAM: Well, I’ve been doing some thinking, and I’ve realized that I don’t belong here anymore. I’m heading back home.   DONNA: Wait – you’re leaving?   PAM: I just finished talking it over with Bob, and we agree that it’s for the best. (offers Donna her hand) Goodbye, Donna. I know we haven’t become the best of friends –   DONNA: We haven’t become any kind of friends.   PAM: (beat) And I’m sure those boyish manners will serve you well in radio. And I’m glad your mother’s home for you.   Despite the earlier insult, Donna does shake Pam’s hand. Jackie’s hand goes to her heart at the “mother” line.   PAM (cont’d): (to Jackie) And, honey... well, I won’t deny, it’s a little scary, being on my own, but... well, if you ever feel ready to come home, I’ll be waiting for you.   JACKIE: (beat) You know what? I think I am ready. Mom, I would love to come home with you.   She hops off the island and embraces her mom.   PAM: Oh, I’m so happy to hear you say that, honey. You're the only one who can explain things to the maid.

[japanessie]

MY FIRST STORY & Saitama Super Arena capacity

I received this question on Twitter regarding the attendance at MFS TamaAri Tour Final. I think it would be interesting to share with my readers especially for those who might aspire to enter the showbiz.

Disclaimer: Answers were based on my personal observations as a longtime music fan. Also, I used ONE OK ROCK as a comparison because that's what my readers are familiar with. Peace everyone 😊

Question:

So I just read that MFS TamaAri was 18000 tickets? Normally I know the venue has a much larger capacity, so why is that? Are they taking it safely? And do you know what’s more important to secure bigger venues? Is it to sold out or the number of tickets you had there? Just trying to understand if this was necessary to get to Tokyo Dome. It just kinda makes me sad because they deserve so much!

I always just assumed that it’s 37000, didn’t know there was two modes, any idea on what’s the difference and why they went with arena mode instead of stadium.

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MFS held an “arena" tour NOT “stadium" tour

First of all, from the start, MFS had declared their Kobe World Hall & Saitama Super Arena dates as “ARENA Tour". They never said “stadium". So, it only made sense that they booked Saitama Super Arena in its arena mode.

Based on MFS' proposed seating plan, they were honest from the start that they were NOT aiming for >30000 capacity. Just look at how small the space they allocated for standing spectators. The rest were all seated. They were pretty realistic about their crowd attracting capability & current limitations. They knew they were not OOR who could easily dedicate the entire floor area for standing spectators.

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Saitama Super Arena was designed to be mechanically multi-sized to suit multiple purposes

Look at the “Stadium vs Arena” diagrams from the venue's official website.

Saitama Super Arena does have TWO modes i.e "stadium" and "arena". It is a multi-purpose venue which means it can be used for concerts, sports events, exhibitions, death memorials (if you want) etc. Thus, to serve the different functions, it was designed in such a manner.

What is meant with max capacity of 37000 pax is the entire fixed seats taken up PLUS the maximum additional seating that the floor area can take, which is more suited for sports events where a smaller space for the athletes/performers is needed e.g. boxing, wrestling etc. For sports such as soccer or baseball, the floor area obviously will not be used for seatings.

Stadium vs Arena configuration

Stadium = the full length space with seats all around facing the centre. 

Arena = the space is partially blocked off reducing the seats & floor area.

Stadium Mode

Let's look at a typical concert stage end side configuration.

1. A chunk of the space is already taken up by the stage. Meaning the seated area behind the stage is already unusable for the spectators. Then, some artists have a runway or even multiple runways extending into the floor area. To my eyes, at least 1/4 or even 1/3 of the space is already reduced. Then, when you put designated seats on the arena floor, the number of people will be reduced even more because chairs take up more floor space per person than a free-standing area.

Arena Mode

How about centre stage configuration to maximize the viewing?

Here is an example of a centre stage from KOBUKURO LIVE TOUR 2015 at Saitama Super Arena. Even with this configuration and a more packed crowd than MY FIRST STORY, this only packed in 21000 spectators.

http://music.emtg.jp/liveReport/20150806213e27519

For safety reason, you can’t pack in more people than the officially declared maximum capacity

I'm not sure how the Law is in Japan or what legal obligations that the management of Saitama Super Arena needs to comply. However, generally, it concerns evacuating people safely and quickly in the case of fire or any disaster.

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However, it looked like MFS didn't quite reach the number they were originally aiming for.

Got to be honest, there was a big block of unused seats at the end of the arena. The staff covered it with a huge piece of cloth. There was also some rather generous spaces around the floor seating area. They are not yet at OOR level who can easily attract >30000 crowd. But overall, it was good enough and not disastrous like the Shanghai show (unwise choice of venue that one... sorry my boys).

Photo by Taka Tallman

The difference of the Final outcome compared to the Original plan based on the official photo.

Why was it announced as "Sold Out"?

1. Logistics reason.

They needed to finalize the layout of the seatings and the number of chairs they actually needed. If they kept the ticket sales open to the performance day, it would be difficult for the staff to arrange the overall seated / standing areas. Notice how they often announced on-the-day tickets (toujitsuken) for their free standing Livehouse shows but not for Halls and Arenas. It's easy to squeeze in free standing audience as long as it is safe enough.

2. They very likely had already reached the sales target to cover the cost of the concert.

If you already sold out the quantity you needed to make profits, then it's not a lie to declare it that way. "Yeah, we sold out!". MFS is blessed to be an indie band because the money they earn mainly goes to them. Well, looking at the luxuries MFS members pampered themselves with (a huge rehearsal studio, holidays abroad, head-to-toe designer fashion etc), these guys made A LOT.

Despite playing to smaller crowds and playing less shows per year, MFS members are able to live comfortably at a more leisurely pace. Compare that to the major-label-and-talent-agency-tied OOR who certainly sell more in quantity but is being worked to death by their management with every Tour to make $$$!

3. In showbiz, image is everything.

Notice how once an actor won an Oscar, his publicity promo will always attach the term “Oscar winner (insert name)" with almost every appearance? Because it gives “value" to his name! Even if you only got nominated, being known as “Oscar-nominated actor" elevates your status.

It's the same with music artists. Saying “the band held a Sold-Out show at (insert a place)" gives “value" to your resume. The general public rarely ask the numbers or even question it.

Not only MFS, even OOR plays the same publicity game. For example, their Nagisaen show has always been hailed as attracting >100000 people. What is being downplayed is it was >100000 people over TWO days. Meaning >50000 pax per day and many of them actually went to BOTH days. But still, saying >100000 sounds better and it's not like they're lying. It's technically correct. So MFS saying, “Thank you. We sold out!" is technically true if they had passed their profit threshold. Anything extra is a bonus 😊.

Why still went for such a huge venue even though their fanbase still has not reached that level?

Just a basic management strategy no matter what field you’re in. Once you set a big target, you need to measure your achievement from time to time. They want to do Tokyo Dome. So, they need to see how far they can reach and what to plan to achieve it. With the Nippon Budokan, they knew that they could do 12000 pax. With Makuhari Messe and Yokohama Arena, they knew that 18000 figure was in their hands. With Saitama Super Arena, they very likely wanted to see if they could reach more than 20000. Now that MFS knew 20000 is a figure they need to still work on, they can plan from now what to do next. My prediction, there is a HUGE chance that the Tokyo Dome show would be fully or mostly seated.

What’s more important to secure bigger venues? Is it to be sold out or the number of tickets?

Strictly from the economic point of view, the number of tickets you can sell is more important. You'd want to earn enough to recoup your investment first & foremost. The venues don't care if your event is sold out or not. They just want their money. Being “sold out" is more for the artist's image.

Every artist has their own sales threshold of what they can call “sold out". MFS put limited standing tickets from the start which means they have a lower “sold out" threshold compared to a bigger band like OOR who allocates a lot more standing tickets.

The bigger your name, the higher the stake. I still remember when the late King of Pop Michael Jackson was deemed a failure for selling “only" around 45000 tickets for a stadium concert in the UK back in the late 90s.

So, was MFS playing it safe with Saitama Super Arena?

Nope. 

On the contrary, they were daring themselves to take the risk in order to know where they are at. But hey, ANY indie artist in the world would KILL to have 18000 people per night. It’s awesome that MFS could reach that number as an independent band.

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My 2 cents

Why did MFS struggle a bit to fill up Saitama Super Arena?

To me it still boils down to one thing. Their archrival ONE OK ROCK.

This had been the first time ever that MFS was doing a major Tour head to head against OOR. They even had a few clashing dates!

* (Remember that Summer Sonic Tokyo (MFS) vs Osaka (OOR) incident? A small crowd in Tokyo vs a packed crowd in Osaka?）

OOR by Julen Photo

For the most part, getting the majority of their fans from OOR fandom has been a huge blessing for MFS. But we must take note that many of them still keep OOR as their main band and thus, are more likely to spend their money on the OOR Tour instead. Not to mention that OOR ticket & merch prices are higher.

MFS hardcore fans are still way smaller and probably will never top OOR, which is fine to me (seriously, I don’t want MFS to compromise their music like OOR did 😑 ). However, I do believe that the day will come when MFS can attract 30000 crowd in one show but it will take more time for that to happen.

But comparing it to OOR, it wasn’t too bad even though it is still a long way to go :-)

Someday MFS will be able to pack in fully standing crowds on the floor 😃 !

What MFS needs to do?

1. Keep on with their current strategy of reaching out and expanding to fans outside of the OOR crowd. Keep on collaborating, guys!

2. I personally hope that the little darling Hiroki can continue being careful with anything that comes out of his mouth so as not to make another faux pas e.g that misunderstood MC at Summer Sonic (OOR fans accused him of jealousy towards Taka again because of it... oops 🙈), that "kiddy tantrum" at Storyteller Tour Osaka (your warped sense of humour may not necessarily work outside of your band & crew, Hiro 😑). Watching him in the later part of 2019, I do feel Hiro had learned a bit from it all though.

3. Continue strengthening the bond with the existing fans. It’s important to cherish their loyalty. I had talked before about the benefit of keeping your core fans. Thankfully, MFS is doing it right in this area. Bringing awareness to ALS, dedicating their songs to special selected fans and helping in realizing their dreams. After all, support is a two-way street.

4. Connecting with the younger crowd like they did during the ALONE era with the “university tour” might be a good idea too 🤔. I still remember photos of the members walking through the crowd among the stalls at students’ fairs 😃. That was an exciting time 😊

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So, what do you all think 😃?

[elyvorg]

How (not) to draw Kaito in left profile view: A Kaito Fanartist's Lament

If you're familiar with my blog, you'll know that I've drawn Kaito a lot. And contrary to apparently a large proportion of this fandom, I actually enjoy drawing his ridiculous hair! Usually. From a lot of the more commonly-used angles, it has a very distinctive shape to it which I find fun to get down.

But from certain angles? Not so much. In particular, it is not a coincidence that none of the drawings I've done of Kaito have ever been composed such that he's in a left profile view. Because I am not at all comfortable with drawing his spiky fringe from that angle. The rest of his hair is still fine - it is always very UP, just draw a lot of spikes going UP and you can't go too far wrong - but his fringe, from this angle, is a Problem. Here is a chronicle of my adventures in trying to figure this problem out.

First, let's look at some sprites of Kaito from the angles that give his hair its most distinctive shapes, in order to get a sense of the shape his fringe is "supposed" to be.

Front:

Pretty straightforward, and pretty consistent between the sprites and various illustrations drawn from that angle, give or take a spike or two. Kinda downwards, about as far as his nose or mouth for the longest spikes, and also pointing about 45 degrees to his left.

Right 3/4 view:

Also pretty straightforward and consistent between different depictions. I personally consider this the most distinctive and iconic shape of Kaito's hair, so if any angle should be considered "correct" and the thing to use for reference in case of inconsistencies, I think it should be this one. Note how from this angle we can see more than we could from the front that his fringe spikes not only point to his left but also outwards from his face at least a bit. They do not fold back around to the left side of his face towards his left ear.

Right profile view:

This still seems fairly consistent with the other sprites we've looked at so far, at least as far as one can tell considering that his fringe spikes are partially hidden behind his face and pointing away from the camera. All of them are fine to look at, because any awkwardness in foreshortening of the spikes is mitigated by the fact that they're pointing away anyway, and they're not getting in the way of his face from this angle. There are however slight inconsistencies here between the different depictions of this angle, in exactly how far outwards from his face his fringe spikes are angled, and how long they are.

I personally like drawing Kaito from this angle a lot and have done it a bunch of times. It's pretty surprising to me to realise that the official artists almost never have (this was basically all I could find; that third one is some merch something or other from the wiki using what should be his opposing Debate Scrum sprite but for some reason the actual one they use in the game is a mirrored version of his left profile view, grumble grumble).

Left 3/4 view:

Now we're getting into possibly being a liiiittle more inconsistent with the other angles. At this point his fringe spikes should probably be pointing a little less downwards and to the left and generally more towards the camera than they actually are. Not that I blame the artists for not drawing it that way, though, because foreshortening is hard, probably especially when it's spikes. Nonetheless, these are still all quite consistent between different depictions of him from this angle, so getting his hair to look right from this angle is still fairly simple as you just need to copy this basic shape.

(The arrows are pointing out something else of note, namely the only downwards-pointing spikes in Kaito's hair that aren't on his fringe, which are only found on the left side of his head. Illustrations of Kaito from an angle that should have these spikes visible are incredibly inconsistent on whether they even exist or not, so while I personally choose to include them in my depictions of Kaito's hair whenever relevant, I think it can be considered equally correct not to do so).

But now for the left profile view, which for some reason has been used in official drawings way more than the right profile view despite the fact that even the official artists clearly don't have a clue how to keep it consistent, as we are about to see. There are a few different approaches they can take.

The Too Backwards:

On its own, aesthetically, this looks fine. But that's not the angle that his fringe spikes go at at all! This is incredibly inconsistent with his hair as seen from most other angles, particularly the right 3/4 view, in which clearly those spikes are not going to end up anywhere near behind his left ear. The spikes are very straight and should not be bending around his forehead to point backwards like this.

The Too Short:

This time, the spikes are probably angled about right; mostly downwards, maybe a bit forwards, any “leftwards” would be pointing into the camera from here and so not visible, and not doing any kind of wrapping backwards around behind his ear. But if you look at any of his regular sprites, the spikes are meant to be long enough to be down about as far as his nose or mouth. These barely go down past his eyes... which has the incidental benefit of keeping his eye unobscured. As it happens, the Too Backwards approach also incidentally results in mostly not getting in the way of his eye. Hmm. Starting to sense a pattern here.

The Too Forwards:

Now this is a novel idea! Only one regular illustration in the whole game uses this approach, such that I had to dig into the closing arguments (which I otherwise left out of this because their art style is a bit different anyway) to find another similar example. This overlaps with the Too Short approach a lot in terms of angle, but these spikes are longer while still not blocking his eye from view. But maybe in doing so they've ended up pointing just a little more forwards than they really should be? The one on the left here, while seeming closer to correct than the rest we've seen, still looks a little off to me. (Maybe it’s just that there isn’t even attempt to foreshorten and imply they’re pointing into the camera.)

So if none of these are quite correct and consistent with the shape of Kaito's hair as seen from other angles, what should it look like? The best way to be sure is to take an image of Kaito from the right profile view, flip it, and then redraw the hair spikes to be on the near side of his face while keeping the silhouette the same, since that should be the same from either side. So I went and did this both by tracing one of the official right-profile sprites, and then with one of my own drawings of Kaito from a right profile view, and...

look at this ridiculous doofus how does he even manage to see anything that's approximately 45 degrees to his left (he probably doesn't)

...here we have the problem. The shape that Kaito's fringe is probably supposed to make from this angle blocks his eyes to varying degrees depending on exactly how you're angling it within the realistic bounds that it could be at. The Too Forwards approach kind of has the right idea but is probably exaggerating the forwardsness just slightly to avoid having that happen. I suppose it depends on which right profile image you use for reference, since they're all slightly inconsistent between the tiny handful of official ones that even exist.

I can try and do the anime artstyle cheat of having the eyes be visible through the hair anyway, but that's usually only forgivable because the fringe of hair blocking the view is probably thin enough that you'd be able to kind of see their eyes through it regardless. Here, though, there's such a large volume of foreshortened spikes in the way that I don't think one can reasonably get away with this. If the point of an art piece were to obscure Kaito's eyes and therefore his expression, then this particular angle would be great and incredibly useful. But otherwise, if he's supposed to be expressive? Eeehhhhhhh.

Leaving us with a conundrum of either drawing Kaito's hair correctly and how it should look from that angle but awkwardly obscuring his face in the process, or drawing something that leaves his face perfectly visible and readable but very clearly isn't consistent with what his hair is doing when he's seen from any other angle. This is also not even getting into the part where foreshortening is hard and I'm not sure how well I managed to do that when trying to draw the spikes "correctly"; they still don't look like they're pointing into the camera as much as they probably should, but how do you even???

So, to sum up, and to give the advice that I myself have been following all this time: how best to draw Kaito in left profile view?

Don't.

[stevenuniversallyreviews]

Episode 127: Are You My Dad?

“This might be serious.”

Those of y’all that check out my episode rankings at the end of every post know that my favorite “normal” episode of Steven Universe (so not Steven and the Stevens or Hit the Diamond, which are in their own category of perfect character studies) isn’t Lion 3 or Alone Together or Jailbreak or The Answer or Mr. Greg or Mindful Education. And, spoiler alert, it won’t be Jungle Moon or A Single Pale Rose or Reunited or Change Your Mind. It’s Mirror Gem. 

So it’s not a shocker that I’m drawn to another episode that’s the beginning of a two-parter closing out the first half of a fifty-odd episode chunk, which starts out goofy but grows increasingly ominous and ends in a confrontation with a new blue Gem. In terms of tone, Are You My Dad? is an incredible exercise in tension, albeit one that benefits from two prior episodes’ cliffhangers in a way Mirror Gem manages without (but to be fair, Mirror Gem arrives when we still don’t know there are other Gems, which gives its mystery a major advantage).

The silly beginning here is strengthened by the return of all three original Crystal Gems, who haven’t been in a room together since Rocknaldo. They’re increasingly out of focus as we get into more Steven-centric storytelling, and I’ve heard this lobbed as a criticism of latter-day Steven Universe; while I agree that these characters are terrific and am always down to see more of them, I can appreciate that their big moment is Act II (Seasons 2/3), and Steven’s is Act III (Seasons 4/5). If Act I is about creating Steven’s universe, and Act II is about developing Steven’s family, it’s because Act III, which the other two have been building towards this whole time, is about Steven.

Episodes like Storm in the Room and Lion 4 fundamentally don’t work with the Crystal Gems around, and our last two episodes place Steven among Beach City citizens to prime us for a finale about Beach City paying for Steven’s past. So I get why we haven’t seen the trio as a whole for a while. But I sure am glad to see them again.

Amethyst’s offer of beans and suggestion to barter them for donuts is great, but come on, nothing beats Garnet and Pearl’s sand castle. I love glimpses into the Crystal Gems’ leisure time independent of Steven (he’s around, but clearly wasn’t involved with the construction): because the Gems are so often characterized in relation to Steven and/or in big personal ways, it’s a pleasant change of pace to just see them reading the paper in Watermelon Steven or assembling furniture in Shirt Club. Doug Out and The Good Lars are celebrations of the mundane tainted by the supernatural in their last moments, so it’s perfect to ease us into this new story with more slice-of-life lazing.

Still, this beach day is a backdrop for Steven wondering where his mail is (in the first of many callbacks, we get his Mr. Postman song from all the way back in Cheeseburger Backpack). On its own this might not be a big deal, but we know that Onion and Sadie were being stalked by new Gems and that Lars didn’t show up at the potluck (which, for now, we can lump in with other disappearances), so even though Steven doesn’t know anything sinister is afoot, Jamie’s absence sets off warning bells for us. 

The scenes that follow build dread with masterful efficiency. First we get an uncharacteristically worried Sour Cream, which stands out even more than normal because we just saw him behaving as usual in The Good Lars. His concern is tempered by fun visuals: our MISSING poster is a repurposed WANTED poster, and we get a neat flashback aesthetic as Onion’s haunts are seen as if through an old-school View-Master (calling back to Onion Gang, Arcade Mania, and Onion Friend). While the audience knows new Gems are to blame, Steven is able to write this off as another weird Onion thing, and is more disappointed than concerned when he hears the Big Donut is closed.

Even now, Steven thinks things are probably fine, assuming Lars and Sadie are blowing off work to watch scary movies (calling back to Horror Club and The New Lars). It’s here where we’re introduced to the most clever element of this first act: Barb Miller. She’s connected to Sadie, so she can reveal that her daughter never came home after the potluck, but is also connected to Jamie, who she sent out that morning with Steven’s package. And she’s overprotective enough that she doesn’t make rationalizations like Sour Cream and Steven did for Onion (although she does reference Island Adventure, finally acknowledging how weird it is that three kids went missing for days and nobody seemed to care). In one fell stroke, Steven realizes that this is an alarming pattern, and starts looking for answers at last.

But he still hasn’t caught up to us. Sure, he knows his friends are missing, but he hasn’t seen the looming shadows from the end of Doug Out and The Good Lars, so when he comes across Aquamarine he has no reason to suspect her of kidnapping. A lesser show might build suspense making its characters too thick to put obvious hints together, but Steven Universe makes it clear that none of these threads are obvious to Steven. A more cynical version of the character might deduce earlier that this new Gem is bad news, but despite everything he’s been through in Season 4 he’s still empathetic to his core. After all, the pivotal event of this season was his own dad’s disappearance, so he’s primed to help a kid in a similar situation.

But finally, after knowing more than Steven from the beginning of the episode, Aquamarine asks the titular question and brings us back into the unknown with him. “Are you my dad?” is a brilliantly weird question: of course it’s odd for anyone to ask this of Steven when the answer is so self-evident, but it’s even odder for a Gem to do so. As Steven later tells Connie when she suggests the stranger might be a hybrid, this is a full Gem, and Gems don’t have dads.

Steven’s council of Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, and Connie shows that his instinct isn’t to go it alone, lending weight to his solo sacrifice at the end of this two-parter. But for now, it offers a moment of respite by reveling in the artistic differences of these characters; on the one hand, it makes little sense for Steven to not just draw Aquamarine himself, considering he’s the one who saw her and we know he likes drawing from Shirt Club and Open Book and Barn Mates, but on the other hand, this scene is a delight. Connie draws a manga-influenced figure using an amateur ball and plane method, Amethyst goes abstract, Pearl undersells her dramatic flourish, and Garnet just draws herself; I actually think Pearl’s is closest, but we go with Connie’s and set off.

This is the second time since Lion 4 where we’ve explored the potential for other half-humans like Steven, and in my first viewing of Are You My Dad I saw it as foreshadowing for fellow hybrid. The trend never really continued, and while it seems like a red herring in retrospect, the close proximity of two stories about Steven maybe not being alone shows just how alone he really is. There’s nobody else like Steven, and while this makes him special, it adds to his burden as a bridge between worlds, a burden that’s partially thrust upon him and partially created by his own sense of outsized responsibility. 

Connie lightens the mood as they search by inventing exciting new scenarios to explain this new Gem, contrasting her further with Pearl. Connie’s art is cutesy while Pearl’s is dramatic, and where Connie sees hope for a new friend, Pearl is the only member of the team who advocates preparing for a fight. We don’t go very far down the “optimism is wrong and cynicism is right” road, because that isn’t at all what this show is about, but I love that youthful innocence from both Steven and Connie isn’t championed as an absolute positive in this story.

The light mood of two friends hoping for the best leads to Steven making a game of looking through Onion’s woods, and his facetious search of an empty log ends up getting him trapped. Again, this show isn’t here to build suspense by dumbing down the characters: Steven needs to be out of commission for Connie’s kidnapping to work the way it does, but getting stuck comes from realistic playing around rather than stupidity or ineptitude. And it continues the thread of others getting punished for Steven’s perceived mistakes, which of course adds to his guilt complex (and is furthered by Connie getting kidnapped because Steven shouted her name). These are small moments of getting us from Point A to Point B, but it’s so important that this crew pays attention to such details for the story and themes to flow smoothly.

Aquamarine’s questioning becomes even more confusing when she corrects Connie, saying she’s not looking for “your dad” but “my dad.” Connie’s condescending Tarzan speak is a bit out of character, but it at least makes sense that she wants to simplify her language for someone who doesn’t seem to understand the meanings of words. Aquamarine’s hidden nastiness emerges, with a wicked snicker at Connie’s “Me Connie” routine before she calls for Topaz.

While I prefer Mirror Gem to Are You My Dad? in most regards, the reveal of Topaz takes the cake in the horror department. She’s announced by thundering footsteps that clear birds from the surrounding trees, and emerges first as a shadow before we see our missing friends trapped inside her body. None of the captives’ mouths are free except Onion’s, and he's nonverbal, so their struggles are joined by muffled and incoherent screams while their captor lurks in silence. The soundtrack lurches into unnerving strings as Connie panics at the sight, substitutes more typical digital music as a moment as Topaz splits up, and returns to even tenser strings as Connie is viscerally absorbed into the giant Gem. As with the Ruby Squad’s giant fusion, it’s a brutally practical application of something the Crystal Gems have made beautiful, and Steven is as helpless as Connie to stop it.

A key element of Steven’s martyr complex is that his sense of ownership over everything bad that happens around him is unwarranted, and this sequence is a perfect example. Yes, he’s stuck in a log when Connie is taken, allowing him to blame himself for the kidnapping, but once he’s free he doesn’t stand a chance against Aquamarine’s magic wand. In the best-case scenario, where he and Connie manage to fuse and fight off Topaz, Stevonnie would still lose: as we see in I Am My Mom, even four Crystal Gems working together are beaten with ease by the wand’s ridiculous power. If anything, getting stuck in a log was the only reason Steven was able to regroup and fight back later in the first place. But in the moment, it seems like he made an avoidable mistake that cost Connie her freedom, which is certainly on his mind when he makes his sacrifice.

Aquamarine follows the Holly Blue Agate mold of brief but memorable villains, and while both are petty monsters, Holly Blue Agate’s Professor Umbridge has nothing on Aquamarine’s Eric Cartman. It’s one thing to let middle management power go to your head, but Aquamarine is cruel for the simple joy of being cruel, an attitude captured magnificently by Della Saba’s refined British accent. She taunts Topaz as readily as her enemies, and unlike the fiercely loyal Homeworld villains we’ve seen before, she sees her duty as a waste of time that she begrudgingly fulfills because she’s the best. Like Kevin, this is a troll who’s just mean to her core, but she unfortunately has a lot more power than your everyday toxic douche. 

As is standard for two-parters by now, we end with a cliffhanger, this time evoking Steven’s Dream (another first-parter that ends with a new blue Gem). A loved one has been taken, Steven blames himself because he put this person in harm’s way and couldn’t stop it, so now it’s time for a rescue mission. An unprecedented streak of consecutive serialized episodes already began with Doug Out, but now we get a proper two-parter, then a four-parter, then a six-parter, then another two-parter all in a row. It’s a special time in the series, highlighted by Earth plots and Homeworld plots colliding in ways that backdrop Steven’s role as a child of two worlds, and Are You My Dad excellently escalates the plot.

In closing, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention that this is the final episode from the amazing Raven Molisee. Other veterans like Joe Johnston and Kat Morris ended their roles as lead-credit writer/storyboarders to fulfill other roles for the show, but this is it for Molisee’s tenure as an active member of the Crewniverse. Her work speaks for itself: she helped introduce Lapis in Mirror Gem, Peridot in Warp Tour, Jasper in The Return, Yellow Diamond in Message Received, and now Aquamarine and Topaz in Are You My Dad?. She helped bring to life the comedy of Kindergarten Kid and The New Crystal Gems, the tragedy of Rose’s Scabbard and Monster Reunion, the horror of Frybo and Keeping It Together, the wonder of An Indirect Kiss, the catharsis of Earthlings, and so much more. We were lucky to have her, and I really hope she didn’t leave because she was abducted by aliens.

Future Vision!

Steven is down to watch a movie about an orphaned Gem whose parent figure left for Beach City and never came home. So were the fans, apparently.

If every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn’t have inconsistencies…

The ages of Lars and Sadie were nebulous at first, but it’s more or less been established that they’re teens of sorts by now, which makes Barb’s declaration that Sadie’s an adult confusing in a way that I find surprisingly annoying. It’s really not a big deal, but it bothers me way more than your average nitpick.

We’re the one, we’re the ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!

It’s not unheard of for first-parters to make my greatest hits list: Mirror Gem is certainly one of them, and we’ve also got The Return and Steven’s Dream. But it’s hard to put an episode without a proper ending up with the best, and despite its wonderful tone, meeting Aquamarine lacks the conclusive impact of meeting Lapis, we don’t get a huge moment of Steven summoning his shield and protecting his team, and Aquamarine isn’t a Big Deal like Blue Diamond. I still love Are You My Dad a lot, but this is a hard list to crack and it does feel like half an episode when viewed alone.

Top Twenty-Five

Steven and the Stevens

Hit the Diamond

Mirror Gem

Lion 3: Straight to Video

Alone Together

Last One Out of Beach City

The Return

Jailbreak

The Answer

Mindful Education

Sworn to the Sword

Rose’s Scabbard

Earthlings

Mr. Greg

Coach Steven

Giant Woman

Beach City Drift

Winter Forecast

Bismuth

Steven’s Dream

When It Rains

The Good Lars

Catch and Release

Chille Tid

Lion 4: Alternate Ending

Love ‘em

Laser Light Cannon

Bubble Buddies

Tiger Millionaire

Lion 2: The Movie

Rose’s Room

An Indirect Kiss

Ocean Gem

Space Race

Garnet’s Universe

Warp Tour

The Test

Future Vision

On the Run

Maximum Capacity

Marble Madness

Political Power

Full Disclosure

Joy Ride

Keeping It Together

We Need to Talk

Cry for Help

Keystone Motel

Back to the Barn

Steven’s Birthday

It Could’ve Been Great

Message Received

Log Date 7 15 2

Same Old World

The New Lars

Monster Reunion

Alone at Sea

Crack the Whip

Beta

Back to the Moon

Kindergarten Kid

Buddy’s Book

Gem Harvest

Three Gems and a Baby

That Will Be All

The New Crystal Gems

Storm in the Room

Room for Ruby

Doug Out

Are You My Dad?

Like ‘em

Gem Glow

Frybo

Arcade Mania

So Many Birthdays

Lars and the Cool Kids

Onion Trade

Steven the Sword Fighter

Beach Party

Monster Buddies

Keep Beach City Weird

Watermelon Steven

The Message

Open Book

Story for Steven

Shirt Club

Love Letters

Reformed

Rising Tides, Crashing Tides

Onion Friend

Historical Friction

Friend Ship

Nightmare Hospital

Too Far

Barn Mates

Steven Floats

Drop Beat Dad

Too Short to Ride

Restaurant Wars

Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service

Greg the Babysitter

Gem Hunt

Steven vs. Amethyst

Bubbled

Adventures in Light Distortion

Gem Heist

The Zoo

Rocknaldo

Enh

Cheeseburger Backpack

Together Breakfast

Cat Fingers

Serious Steven

Steven’s Lion

Joking Victim

Secret Team

Say Uncle

Super Watermelon Island

Gem Drill

Know Your Fusion

Future Boy Zoltron

Tiger Philanthropist

No Thanks!

     6. Horror Club      5. Fusion Cuisine      4. House Guest      3. Onion Gang      2. Sadie’s Song      1. Island Adventure

(It took some serious sleuthing, because the amazing Are You My Mother parody image is unsourced on Google Images and comes from a TeeSpring shirt that is no longer available, but I tracked down the artist as Zaccrim.)