#like please. can we stop watching our made up version of this show

[typinggently]

“We never see Sam eating a quinoa salad!” is imo one of the funniest complaints about spn. Obviously not. We also never see him actually do yoga, it’s always just a vague threat. That whole aspect of his character was written to be viewed by masculine men (and those who admire them) as a vague joke on what a healthy guy would do. In the same vein, Dean and his weird bacon burger bit is the fantasy of those guys. It’s Eros and Anteros of health and diet for the intended masculine manly USAmerican viewer.

On that note, I think we could go even deeper and speculate whether that’s why Sam doesn’t get to show his body off. The whole point is that Sam is the health nut, but not to a degree where 1) healthy living looks appetising 2) we see what healthy living does to his body. He’s not meant to be inspirational. Instead, we get Dean, who eats like a pig and is framed as the funny but reasonable one (and who gets girls). If Sam were meant to genuinely embody and showcase a healthy lifestyle, we would get to see workout montages, appetising healthy food and, most importantly, Jared Padalecki’s impressive physique. Sam should be able to run faster and for longer than Dean, he should be able to fight harder. He should be able to overpower Dean in their physical fights. But none of that is ever the main focus. Because, again, Sam isn’t meant to be a healthy inspiration. He’s meant to be the antidote to Dean. The message isn’t “eat a quinoa salad!”, it’s “salad is self loathing on a platter. you can eat bacon and burgers and binge drink and still get girls and the guy who’s annoying about how healthy is his isn’t even stronger than you.” Sam hasn’t been the main character in a long time, and this aspect of his personality is just a way of contrasting him to Dean.

To make it short: Sam wasn’t written to be relatable or aspirational for the girls who crave Lululemon. He’s written for the men who want to feel good about drinking and eating bacon and who, at most, want to hear him brag about fucking those girls. He’s part of the Dean fantasy.

It’s not exactly a problem to make up our fantasy versions of the characters for the most part, but I feel like we shouldn’t forget what the source material is actually like and who it’s aimed at. Just like “Dean is a woke bisexual icon” doesn’t exactly hurt anybody in itself, it still glosses over the misogyny (and homophobia) that makes up what spn is and who dean as a character is.

[livwritessometimes]

I LOVE YOU!

: Part 11 (Oscar's Version)

: It's bout time Oscar comes clean about his feelings

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: author’s note - I almost had a heart attack!!! this fic was scheduled and it did not release and it wasn’t showing in the scheduled section and I almost lost it

…

“Oscar??” Y/n said, confused, as she made her way towards the man in front of her. 

“What are you doing here?” She asked as she finally got a better view of the comp science major standing under the lights that cast a soft glow on his face. 

"Y/n," Oscar said, a hint of nervousness laced his voice. "I'm glad you came!" he said.

"Wait, are you the one who left that message??" Y/n asked. Not bothering to wait for a reply, she continued, "How did you even do that? Wasn't Mr. Stella working on it? So how did you even get the chance to change that? Unless you were working on it with him. Is that what you were doing? Why? First you ignore me, keep on making excuses, ditch me to hang out with another girl, and then when I get someone else to help me with this, you go behind my back and work on it?? How does that even make sense? Osc-" Her ramble was cut short with Oscar suddenly shouting, "Stop! Y/n, would you please stop for the love of God and let me explain?" 

The girl instantly fell silent, waiting for the boy to continue. "Yes, I changed the form so that you could get the coordinates. I had gone to Mr. Stella and begged him if I could work on the form and finish what I had started with you," Oscar said.

"Why? Why would you do all that? Because I told you I don't need your help? Is that why you decided to call me here late at night? and for what?" Y/n said, feeling herself get teary-eyed by the sudden outburst of emotions. "Do you not want me to do well in the assignment? Is that what this is because if that is why you are doing all of this Oscar Piastri, I swear to god?" 

"I did this because I LOVE YOU," Oscar blurted out; he could not take it any longer. He could not keep his mouth shut and watch the girl he loves think he did all of this out of spite.

Y/n felt her heart stop. This was not what she was expecting when she left her house today in hopes of finding the person behind the mysterious message. "What??" Y/n said, in fact, that was all she could get herself to say.

"I love you; I have for a while now. Daniel had texted me one day saying that he's happy to see me happy with you, and I freaked out. I know that this was no excuse for me ignoring you, and I'm really sorry for that. But I didn't know how else to react," Oscar said, staring down at the ground, refusing to look at Y/n. 

"I've never felt like this; all my life I never felt like the need to be with someone, and so I never bothered with it. But the more time we spent together for the project, the more I realized that I did not want it to end. And so I started to make excuses just so we could spend more time working on the project. But I didn't realize that doing so would make it end sooner," he said. "Lily was just working with me on one of our assignments; I never thought you'd think that I was dating her. I never meant for things to get so complicated between us. I understood your decision to work with my professor, and I'm sorry I went behind your back to work on the project. Please don't get angry with him; he was very hesitant to let me do this in the first place. I just hope that we can still be friends." Oscar finally finished and looked up at Y/n.

Both Y/n and Oscar had taken a seat at one of the chairs kept outside, and for a good five minutes no words were exchanged between the two. Suddenly, Y/n got up and said, "I'm sorry, Oscar, but I have to go," and without waiting for him to reply, Y/n walked out of the cafe.

Leaving a confused and heartbroken Oscar behind.

…

Tags: @regalbanshee | @be-your-coffee-pot | @mrsbrxkkxr | @princessria127 | @moonraysandstars | @prettiest-at-the-party | @theblueblub | @magixpracticality | @slytherinholland | @overlyexcitedoutlaw | @marvel-at-stucky | @crumbssss | @a-beaverhausen | @felicityforyou | @gigigreens | @jas0nluvr | @khaylin27 | @imsiriuslyreal | @cwiphswmwasohmm | @wobblymug | @e-nonsense | @raizelchrysanderoctavius | @brekkers-whore | @vintagefucksstuff | @aexitizen-ln4 | @redstappen | @iamred-iamyellow | @tsireyasgf | @ghost-of-student-sufferings | @saachiep81 | @lozzamez3 | @ravisinghs-wife | @elizamoe133 | @anthonylockwoodandco111 | @formulaal | @luvsforme | @annabellelee | @a-disturbing-self-reflection | @emryb | @grovelingmen | @illicit-affcirs | @iwilleatyourgod | @youre-on-your-ownkid | @originaldreamerdragon | @landorris | @mountvesuvu | @chezmardybum | @littlegrapejuice | @spitesfvl-blog | @juleshadalittlelamb | @vicurious28 | @niyu2208 |

[worldlxvlys]

the way i loved you

chris sturniolo x reader

warnings: cursing

a/n: hope you likeee <333

i watched as nick pulled an array of snacks from a plastic bag, setting them on the table.

today nick, matt, chris, and i were going to be filming a video where we rate snacks from around the world.

once nick set the camera up, he did the intro and explained what we would be doing.

while nick explained where he got the food, i watched Chris pick up a small pink tin, inspecting it.

i slowly began to tune out nick’s voice, focusing on the way chris’s fingers ran across the tin.

he carefully placed the tin down, drumming his fingers along the table.

god, his fingers are so long. they’re perfect-

no! stop! you shouldn’t be thinking about your best friend’s fingers like that !

i quickly look away from his fingers, realizing i was staring.

luckily, he didn’t seem to notice.

as nick continued to explain the concept of the video, i watched as chris began to smile.

i love how excited he is, he’s adorable.

as i smiled at his eagerness, he happened to look at me, catching my gaze as we smiled at each other.

once nick finished explaining, we decided to try the sour candy in the pink tin first.

i watched as chris attempted to take the plastic wrapping around the tin off, but was unsuccessful.

he fumbled with the plastic, and it seemed like he couldn’t keep his hands still. he almost seemed, nervous ?

he turned to me with a bashful smile on his face, “can you open it, please?”

“yeah, i got you” i said as i grabbed it from his hands, removing the plastic wrapping and handing it back to him.

“this one has vitamin c, which one’s that?” he looked at me, expectantly.

“why would i know ?” i asked, furrowing my brows.

“i don’t know, you’re the smart one” he mumbled.

“shut up” i laughed as i shook my head , “you’re smart too” .

we all tried one, and agreed that they weren’t actually sour, despite the tin having the word sour across it in big letters.

“doesn’t it feel like you have to put a lot of effort into getting that grape flavor ?” nick pointed out.

he scrunched his face up, making us all laugh, as chris put his hand on my shoulder, leaning onto me as he laughed.

i love hearing him laugh.

we gave it a rating, and moved onto the next candy.

once we realized they were slide whistles, we all started busting out laughing.

we all started fooling around, laughing at each other’s shenanigans.

chris wrapped his arms around my waist, laughing into my shoulder. the sound of his laugh, made me laugh even harder.

as we continued to try and rank the snacks, chris grew more and more touchy.

not that i’m complaining.

there were many times where i would catch him staring at me and vice versa. he made it so easy to enjoy his presence.

once we finished our last snack and agreed on the final ranking of everything, nick closed out the video and turned off the camera.

i turned to chris. “that was fun” i said trying to fight the shit-eating grin that was forming on my face.

“i agree” he said, returning the smile.

“jesus christ” matt spoke up from behind us, rolling his eyes and walking away.

“what ?” we called out.

A FEW DAYS LATER

nick, chris, and i were hanging out in the living room.

i was scrolling on tik tok, occasionally showing them videos that i found funny.

as i continued to scroll, i came across one video in particular that made my heart begin to race.

the lyrics of The Way I Loved You by Taylor Swift filled the room.

what the actual fuck.

and he says, you look beautiful tonight. and i feel perfectly fine. but i miss…

clips of chris and i staring at each other fill the screen.

screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain and it’s 2 am and i’m cursing your name

chris holding onto my waist, hugging me, leaning on me

so in love that you act insane, and that’s the way i loved you

us laughing together, looks of pure joy on our faces.

i glance to my right, seeing chris already staring down at my phone.

fuck. what do i do ? what do i say ?

suddenly, nick yells “oh my god is that the ship edit of you and chris ? that shit’s blowing up !” he said.

“damn, nick. how’d you know ?”

“i reposted it”

“WHAT?” chris and i stared at him like he had five heads.

“well, it was good. and c’mon, doesn’t take a genius to realize y’all like each other” he said, nonchalantly.

“i’m going to the bathroom” he said, walking off.

i’m literally losing my mind. a ship edit ? a TAYLOR ship edit ? we’re never beating the dating allegations.

“well, what do the comments say?” chris asked, his voice shaking the slightest bit.

i glanced over at him, before opening the comments.

sturniolowhore

awww they’re adorable

blueeyedbesson

they’d look so good tg

abbie13sworld

they’re literally in love no one can convince me otherwise

mommysturns

i literally love them tg 💗

babydollfae22

they need to stop playing and get tg

mbbsgf

them + taylor makes me so happy

“damn. they kinda love us together” i said. i scrolled, expecting to move onto something else.

suddenly, Tattoo by Loreen came on. this edit had clips of chris and i from the recent video and over the years.

it’s like we’re watching a progression of our relationship over the past few years.

every wandering eye, stolen glance, smile that was a little too wide, touch, hug that lasted a little too long, the fans always noticed them.

it was literally right in front of our faces the entire time.

listening to the sound of violins swelling while watching chris and i’s interactions almost made me want to cry.

i turned to chris, who was already staring at me.

he looked down at my lips. “what do the comments say?” he asked.

i turned back to my phone, opening them up.

sophssturn

they’re literally perfect for each other

xhiejfy

how adorableeee

bernardenjoyer

they’re cute ig but me and jimmy would be cuter

queen161718

literally just watched them fall in love with each other

vib3swithanuk

they’re good for each other

fr3sh-love

so so happy for them

“they think that we’d be good together” i told him.

“i think i agree with them” he whispered.

“then maybe you should ask me out” i said, my gaze shifting from his eyes to his lips.

our noses touched. “will you go out with me ?”

i smiled, “hell yeah” i whispered before pushing my lips onto his.

—————-

y’all see any familiar names ? 🤨

i love y’all <333

masterlist

tag list: @lovingsturniolo @lustfulslxt @gwenlore @flowerxbunnie @sturnssx @mattslolita @its-jennarose @mommysturns @sophssturn @bernardsleftbootycheek @queen161718 @chrisdevora @cupidsword @nickmillersn1gf @stramboli4life @mattsneezing @chrisstankyleg @sturniolobltch @vib3swithanuk @ciarasturn1 @bethsturn @bernardenjoyer @mbbsgf @soursturniolo @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @ssturniolo @blueeyedbesson @mxqdii @sturniolowhore @rheaakayourname @defnotayonna

[miley1442111]

realistic reactions- r. cameron

--------------------

--------------------

a/n: this takes place in a au where the stuff that happens in the show doesn't happen :)

tropes: childhood bestfriends to lovers, enemies to lovers

pairing: rafe cameron x fem! reader, jj maybank x reader (dw, not for long)

(use of Y/n, and the nickname Bunny/ bun (but i promise not in a weird way there's a story to it i swear it's not just one of those weird smut things))

summary: something pushes feelings up to the surface for rafe, yet yours remain unchanged.

warnings: mentions of drugs and drug use and drinking, fighting, cursing, rafe is a dick, rafe's mental health, reader is going through it, mentions of a blowjob, etc.

not entirely proofread

--------------------

The next time Rafe saw you, it was in his kitchen. So casually. His kitchen. Talking with Wheezie and Sarah. 

“Morning sleepyhead,” Wheezie chuckled. “It’s 5pm, by the way.”

Rafe just scoffed and flipped her his middle finger and she sighed, rejoining your conversation. Rafe listened in, of course. What else did you expect him to do? You were sitting in his kitchen.

“What about Jj?” Sarah smirked. “He’s totally into you.”

Fuck no. Fuck no. 

Jj Maybank had been trying to get your attention since Pre-k, and Rafe didn’t like that. He didn’t like it then, and he didn’t like it now. You were not going out with Jj. 

“I guess… but he’s like two years younger than me, and he smokes,” you sighed. 

“So what? I swear to god if you asked him to stop he would. He’s fucking obsessed with you,” she laughed. 

“No way,” you laughed. “Anyways, I wouldn’t want to make him stop something he enjoys just because I don’t like it. That’s not fair.”

That sinking feeling he’d felt all day, the one that made him stay in his room far past his waking up at 11am, made its way to his throat. He was exactly what you didn’t want. He was a prime example of what you didn’t want. You wanted a sweet, normal, good guy. Rafe was an uncontrollable, angry, bad person. He had no chance. 

The words fell from his mouth before he even knew what he was saying. “Jj is an asshole,” he scoffed.

“Rafe, did we invite you into this conversation?” Sarah sassed. “And, Jj is our friend, just because you like to uphold the shitty Kook-Pogue rivalry bullshit, doesn’t mean we have to.”

“Fuck off Sarah, I’m trying to warn Bun. He sleeps with anyone,” he turned to you and watched as your face turned from neutral to offended.

“Who says I didn’t just want to sleep with him?” You questioned and Rafe blood started to boil. 

“Exactly!” Sarah exclaimed. “You can’t tell her what she can and can’t do.”

“Bun, I know you, you don’t want to date a guy like that-“

“No, Rafe, you don’t know me. You’d know me if you ever responded to me. You’d also know that I hate being called Bunny now, so please stop,” despite your cutting tone, Rafe couldn’t help but smile at your politeness. 

But what you’d said. He knew it would come up, he knew you’d ask him why, and to be honest, he didn’t have an answer for you. Some part of him just thought it was hopeless. Even as a 14 year old boy, he knew he wasn’t for you, he knew he wouldn’t be enough for you. He couldn’t be what you deserved. 

“Fine,” he smiled sarcastically, shaking the protein shake he’d been making. “See you later, Bunny.”

He heard you scoff as he walked off. 

--------------------

��Asshole,” Sarah scoffed. 

“He’s not that bad,” Wheezie defended. 

“He’s not, that’s true,” you agreed, trying to save Rafe and Wheezie’s relationship. Sarah and Rafe were done. You and Rafe were done. Wheezie could still have a good relationship with Rafe. Be cared about by Rafe, like you once were, and if your childhood memories weren’t just romanticised versions of the truth, being cared about by Rafe Cameron was something you wouldn’t trade for the world. 

“How can you say that?” Sarah gasped. “After what he did to you?”

“What did he do to you?” Wheezie asked, concern filing her young eyes. 

“Sarah, that’s an exaggeration and you know it,” you sighed. 

“Really? He stopped talking to you entirely, and then told everyone on this island that you stopped texting him back and convinced everyone else to do the same,” she listed. 

You shrugged. “Yeah, he was a dick when he was 15, so what?”

“You cannot just be okay with it all, I’d be pissed!” Sarah argued. 

“I’m over it, and I’m over him!” You say finally. You’re over it all, over Rafe. 

Sarah finally lets up her arguing, and your girl's day goes back to normal. Then you got two very distracting texts.

RC: I’m sorry Bunny. 

JM: You coming over 2night?

And if you’d seen the way those texts were sent, you’d be laughing, very hard. 

--------------------

RC: I’m sorry Bunny.

“What the fuck do I say?”

“Just text her!” Kelce shouted from across the gym as Rafe stared down at his phone. “Say sorry!”

“Like that’ll cut it?” He hurled back. “I’m the world’s biggest asshole to her-”

“And everyone else,” Topper added and Rafe scowled. 

“Thanks, fuckhead,” he groaned. “OK Kelce,” Rafe sighed. Kelce was the only one of them with a long-term girlfriend. “What do I say, verbatim?” 

“How about, ‘sorry Bun’, it’s simple. It’s sweet. And it’ll mean you can come spot me now,” Kelce smirked and Rafe sighed typing it out, and handing it to Topper to send. 

“You’re really getting me to send it? What are you, twelve?” Topper chuckled. Kelce laughed along while Rafe contemplated letting the bar fall on his friend’s chest, but eventually decided against it. 

That was the problem, Rafe felt uncontrolled with you. Venturing into uncharted territories as his feelings, the ones he’d sworn he’d buried years ago, raised to the surface, and punched him in the face. All at once. 

You were beautiful, Rafe knew that, anyone who saw you knew that. But what they didn't see was the little girl who Rafe ran to every time. the girl who was there for him, the girl who defended him, the girl who he loved.

Rafe's stomach lurched

Woah. Love? Shit, he was in deep.

--------------------

JM: You coming over 2night?

“What the fuck do I say?” Jj screeched as Pope and John B laughed at him. “That isn’t helping things!”

“Just text her you pussy!” John B laughed so hard he fell off his seat. 

“Pope,” Jj looked to his smartest friend. 

“Ok, ok, give me your phone,” Pope nodded and Jj handed it over, no question. Jj paced the kitchen as Pope typed out a message onto his phone, a thousand thoughts running through his head, almost all of them about you. God, you’d come back and you were even better than he’d remembered. More fun, more carefree, more beautiful. Jj knew he wasn’t the only one who noticed either, Rafe had his eyes on you and he knew it. Jj would have to act fast before Rafe pulled you back into his orbit of asshole-ness. At least, that’s what Jj called it. He knew if he wanted you, he'd have to act fast, and this was part one of his plan. You could never call Jj Maybank unplanned, because he always had something up his sleeve. 

“Ok, how about,” Pope started and Jj’s heart dropped when his fake British accent came out. “My fair maiden, would you like to accompany me to-”

Jj snatched the phone out of his hands before he could finish, and both the boys were back in their uncontrollable fits of laughter. “Fuck you guys,” he mumbled, leaving the house, favouring to sit by the water instead. He took a deep breath and typed it out, spending about 10 minutes deliberating on whether to send it now, or just run for the hills and never speak to you again. Eventually, he sent it.

He anxiously awaited your reply. 

--------------------

You: Sorry J, I have dinner with the Cameron’s 2night. Tomorrow? xxx

3 x’s had to mean something good, right? Like not ‘I’m in love with you, please marry me’ but not ‘you’re disgusting, I’m actively giving Rafe a blowjob fuck off, I love him’.

--------------------

RC: I’m sorry Bunny.

Read at 4:12pm

Fuck. He wasn’t just in the doghouse, he was on another fucking continent, and he had no choice but to fucking crawl his way back, and he had to act fast, especially if Jj Maybank was after you.

Dinner was going to be interesting. 

--------------------

obx masterlist :)

navigation for my blog :) (criminal minds, obx, the bear, marvel, top gun, the hunger games, challengers :)

taglist: (comment to be added :))

@hockeybabe87 @maybankslover @anightlikethisss @linaaaaa654 @ijustwanttoreadlols @ihe4rttwd @sunny1616 @wearemadeofstardust0 @rafeecameronsbitch @drewswifeeee @lovegeorgia

[jo-speaks]

good graces ft. quinn hughes

in which…

quinn hughes realizes you'll be okay, with or without him.

warnings: MDNI. brief smut (again, it's like a paragraph), mature language, mentions of cheating, and i think that's all.

track three in short n' sweet (hughes brothers version) series!

When I love you, I'm sweet like an angel

Drawin' hearts 'round our names

And dreamin' of writing vows, rockin' cradles

“What’re you doing?” Quinn asked, wrapping his arms behind you as you shut the oven door, leaving the sweet treat you made to bake.

You took off your oven mitt before sighing and leaning back into his hold. “Baking cookies. You said you wanted some this morning, right?

He let out a soft laugh, “Yeah. How did you hear that though?”

“It’s not like you’re quiet when you’re on the phone with Conor.”

Quinn rolled his eyes playfully, dismissing your comment about how comfortable he was when talking to his teammate. He set one of his hands to lean back against the kitchen island where he felt a piece of paper under his palm. He furrowed his eyebrows, creasing the sheet slightly to pick it up. 

After a quick examination, he realized it was the recipe you had written down for the cookies. In the top corner of it, he saw his initials next to yours, enclosed in a heart. Quinn felt a warm feeling in his chest knowing you had done that, not caring if he saw it or not.

He held the paper in front of your face, which you had buried in the crease of his right elbow. “What’s this?”

You traced your eyes over the paper, “The recipe for the cookies? Don’t tell me you can’t read all of a sudden.” He gave you a thin-lipped look before tapping his finger over the childish drawing causing your eyebrows to lift in realization. “Oh, that. Got bored, thought it was cute. Something we could show the kids.”

Now it was his eyebrows that rose, “Kids? Like our kids?”

“Yeah, two of them. One of each. We can have them after our billion-dollar wedding.” You stated that like it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

Quinn knew you weren’t entirely serious. The two of you had this conversation a few months ago and he knew you wanted him to focus on his hockey career while you focused on your career. You both agreed you didn’t want to rush into anything until you were settled. And since Vancouver had been his home for 6 years and yours for 5 of those when you decided to move in with him, maybe it was time to start putting down those roots together.

Don't mistake my nice for naive

“Y/N, please. You’re being ridiculous. You were the one who told me to come in the first place!” Quinn called out to you as you walked away from him.

You stopped and turned back to face him, “Because I thought you’d have fun celebrating with your team here! Not flirt with the bartender the whole night!”

He rolled his eyes, setting you off even more. “I wasn’t flirting with her! I was getting Brock his drink!”

“Whatever, Quinn. I’m going home.” You sighed, not wanting to continue arguing with him in front of a bunch of people.

“I wasn’t flirting.” He mumbled, defeated.

You almost felt bad for reacting the way you did, but you knew him. The half smile and constant nodding all while keeping his eyes on her lips as they moved. 

You weren’t stupid.

I don't waste a second, I know lots of guys

You do somethin' suspect, this cute ass bye-bye

Like, ooh

Baby, you say you really like it being mine?

So let me give you some advice

After the whole bar argument, you decided to repay the favour a few days later when you had gone out to that same bar with your girlfriends. The same night you knew the Canucks would be celebrating their victory there. You watched the door attentively before a tap on your shoulder caught your attention.

“Y/N, this is Josh. He thought you were cute!” Was the only thing your friend said before walking away. The stumbling in her steps was the only thing you needed to explain the situation. 

Josh rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly as he placed his drink down on the bar and took the seat next to you. He cleared his throat, “Hey. Pretty interesting friend you have there.”

You snorted, “Tell me about it. You should see her sober, she’s still the same way.”

He laughed, “So, what’s a pretty girl like you doing sitting alone?”

Before you could answer, you heard the bar erupt in whistles and clapping. You didn’t even have to turn your head to know who had walked in. Josh glanced over your shoulder, getting a view of the team himself. His focus came back to you when you tilted your head to interrupt his view. 

“Sorry.”

“It’s fine. But to answer your question, I’m just here because I’m pissed at my boyfriend.”

You noticed his face drop before returning to the way it was before, “No way. I’m here because I’m pissed at my girlfriend!”

Your eyes widened at his confession, letting out a small chuckle. “Yikes, you’re an asshole.”

“Yeah?” He propped his arm on the bar, “How are you not?”

“Well for starters, I’m not approaching anyone. Second, my boyfriend just got here, so he knows where I am. And it doesn’t take a genius to know that your girlfriend has no idea where you are.” You answered, seeing the team take a seat at the tables next to where you were sitting.

As Josh sat in front of you, stunned at your words, you caught your boyfriend's eyes. He took a double take, not realizing it was you the first time. You looked away, bringing your attention back to the man in front of you as Quinn kept his on you.

“Who’s your boyfriend?” Josh asked.

You smirked slightly, “Quinn Hughes.

Josh’s eyes widened, “Bullshit.”

Shrugging your shoulders, you placed a hand on his shoulder, pulling him closer so you could talk in his ear and look over it to lock eyes with Quinn. “Don’t believe me? You’ll see who walks over to you when I leave.”

You backed up and got off your stool, heading to the bathroom as you kept eye contact with your boyfriend as you passed him. After you did, you heard him get up, his footsteps going the opposite way from where you were heading.

~

“What the fuck was that,” Quinn grumbled as he got into his car.

You shrugged your shoulders, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Quinn scoffed, “This is fucking gold, Y/N. You were all over my ass for doing the same shit on Tuesday, but when you do it’s all good.”

“Yeah, no. See, the difference between what I did tonight and what you did earlier this week is that I actually wasn’t flirting, I just wanted you to see what it was like to feel how I did when I saw you actually flirting with someone else.” You retorted, knowing how ridiculous the words coming out of your mouth sounded to him.

Yet on some level, Quinn knew you were right. He sighed before reaching over the center console to take hold of your hand. 

“I’m sorry. I wasn’t sober, but I still knew what I was doing. I don’t want to lose you over this, so please tell me what I can do to make it up to you.” He whispered.

You turned to look at him, “You like being my boyfriend?”

He nodded.

“Then don’t lie to me.”

Boy, it's not that complicated

You should stay in my good graces

Or I'll switch it up like that so fast

'Cause no one's more amazin'

At turnin' lovin' into hatred x2

I won't give a fuck about you x3

That was cool

I won't give a fuck about you (Oh) x3

Yeah

“She’s the last person I’d want to piss off,” Jack told his brother over the phone as Quinn finished up telling him the whole bar fiasco the two of you had gone through a month ago. 

“Tell me about it. I’m not just saying this because she’s my girlfriend, but she’s literally always right. It’s getting scary.” Quinn confessed, pulling his car into the parking garage of the apartment complex.

Jack sighed, “Well, shit. Good luck with that, bro. Lukey’s calling you later, I gotta go.” 

Quinn said goodbye to his brother, hanging up the phone as he stepped out of his car, grabbing the bouquet of flowers he had gotten you for no reason. After the whole situation, he knew he couldn’t only make it up with verbal apologies. So he went old-school, settling for getting you flowers whenever he felt like they were needed. 

He stepped into the elevator, rocking back and forth on his heels as he reached your floor, walking out the second the doors opened. 

As he unlocked the front door of your shared apartment, he could hear you talking in the kitchen. 

“Yeah, I don’t know. I didn’t want to forgive him, but he’s making up for it.” You said to whoever you were talking to over the phone. 

Quinn stepped in quietly, your back still turned and your AirPods in your ears as you cooked dinner for the two of you. Still unbeknownst to you, Quinn walked to the hallway across from the kitchen, wanting to hear your conversation. 

Was it wrong to eavesdrop on you? Yes. Did Quinn know this? Also yes. Did he care? Not really. 

You let out a sigh, “Listen. He knows better than to do that to me. He also knows that I’m the last person he wants to fuck with because I can switch up incredibly fast. If he wants to cheat on me, he can go right ahead. But he knows damn well I’ll be out replacing him that same night.”

His face dropped. He knew that you were telling the truth, which is what scared him straight. 

“I don’t give a fuck if he wants to go out with Bella Hadid. If he does that without breaking up with me, I’m going straight to his mother and maybe even social media if I’m feeling petty enough.” You laughed, but there was nothing you were joking about. 

By now, Quinn wanted to ignore any woman that came his way.

“Don’t get me wrong, I love him so much. So much to the point where I would get down on my knee and propose to him. But, if so much as lies to me about anyone or anything, he’s gonna need a good lawyer.”

I'll tell the world you finish your chores prematurely

Quinn lined himself up in between your legs, pushing into you completely in one swift movement. You let out a breathy moan as your nails dug into his biceps. He didn’t move, letting not only you but himself adjust to the feeling. 

“Fuck, Q. You feel so good.” You mumbled, your brain foggy from the feeling of him being buried inside of you.

He mumbled something you didn’t quite understand before pulling out almost all the way before thrusting back into you completely. He did this a few more times before letting out a guttural groan, spilling into you.

This caught you completely off guard. Quinn had never finished this quickly before nor had he cum before you did. When he came to, he realized what had happened.

“Shit.” He mumbled, too embarrassed to move or even look you in the eyes.

You cleared your throat, pressing a soft kiss to kiss lips. “It’s fine, babe.” You pushed his body back, pushing him out of you. “I can just use my hand.”

He shook his head, finding his voice once again. “No, let me do it. I don’t- I don’t know what happened.”

Break my heart and I swear I'm movin' on

With your favorite athlete

Shoot his shot every night

Want you every second, don't need other guys

You were scrolling on your phone, swiping up on all the notifications you were getting from Instagram, seeing as you had just posted. 

Quinn was featured in a few of the pictures, drawing the attention of his friends and fans to your account. Your head was propped up on Quinn’s lap as you lay on the couch as he played his video game on the living room TV. 

One notification caught your eye as you furrowed your eyebrows seeing the DM request that had come through. 

‘rjosi90 wants to send you a message.’

“Hey babe? Who’s this?” You asked, turning your phone around to show him the account.

He paused his game, looking down to look. “You don’t know who Roman Josi is? He was that guy you met at the awards ceremony, remember?”

“Oh! The one you never shut up about!” You teased as soon as you remembered the name.

Quinn rolled his eyes, nodding at your words before resuming his game but keeping his attention on your conversation. “What did he send you?”

You opened the message, your eyes widening as you internally debated on telling him the truth, not knowing how he would react. But, you knew you wouldn’t want him lying to you if he got the same message from another woman, so you decided to be honest.

“He said he thinks I’m pretty and that you’re a lucky guy.” You read, eyes quickly flashing back to Quinn.

His cheeks were red and his eyebrows were knitted together. You looked at his hands, which were now gripping his controller so tight that his knuckles were going white. “Are you gonna respond?”

Hesitantly, you shook your head, “Not if you don’t want me to.” 

Quinn had never been an insecure person, but he wasn’t always confident. And your delayed reaction probably didn’t help. You let out a breath before grabbing the controller out of his grip and setting it to the side. 

You sat up, swinging your legs on either side of his lap and taking his face in between your hands. “Hey. I want you. Only you.”

You pressed a kiss on his lips which he barely returned out of his own frustration. Pulling back, you started to litter kisses all over his face in an attempt to cheer him up. Trailing from his lips to his cheeks, then to his jaw, and stopping on his neck. You sucked on a sweet spot that caused his hands to come up and settle on your hips. 

“I don’t want anyone but you, Quinn.”

You do somethin' sus, kiss my cute ass bye

As you stepped into his room, he quickly shut off his phone and turned it face down. You furrowed your eyebrows as you stood in the doorway.

“Am I interrupting something?” You questioned.

He shook his head rapidly, clearing his throat as he rubbed his hands together before walking over to you. “Just caught me off guard.”

You scanned his face. His cheeks were flushed and his face was sweaty. Not wanting the answer you thought it was, you gave him a look before speaking again. ��Was just gonna ask if you wanted to watch a movie with me. But if you’re… busy, I can just watch it by myself.” 

Quinn cleared his throat, “Uh, yeah. Let me just do something really quick and I’ll be right out.”

You simply shook your head, walking out of his room and heading back to your room and laying down on your bed with your laptop in front of you as you curled up in a blanket waiting for your boyfriend.

Even though the two rooms were separated by a small hallway, the walls were still relatively thin. You heard his door open and close but his feet remained still. You could hear the noise of his phone keyboard in front of your door, typing one last thing out before he walked into your room.

“So what movie are we watching, pretty girl?” He asked, setting his phone on your bedside table.

You eyed his phone before looking at him, “Everything okay?” 

He gave you a confused look, “Yeah, why?”

“Sounded like you were typing something important.” You shrugged, not wanting to make a big deal out of what could be nothing.

But, his wide eyes told you everything you needed to know. You sat up, raising your eyebrows in a way that said “Tell me what’s going on.”

Quinn shifted on his feet. “My ex texted me. She was saying she wanted to meet me for dinner and…” He cut himself off.

“And what?” You pressed.

“She wants to try again.”

You scoffed, “Okay. What did you say?”

He took a breath before answering, “I told her about us and that I’ll pass on the dinner because I’m very happy with you.” The way his words came out, you didn’t fully believe him. Yet at the same time, his face and body language told you he was telling the truth. You could tell he was nervous telling you, but you knew he wasn’t lying.

You nodded your head, “Okay.”

“Okay? What does that mean? I can show you the texts if you want!” He rambled.

Pulling him down onto the bed with you, you wrapped the blanket around him as well before setting the laptop in a way where you could both see it while lying down.

“I trust you, Q. If you say that’s what you told her, I believe you.” You whispered.

Boy, it's not that complicated

You should stay in my good graces

Or I'll switch it up like that so fast

'Cause no one's more amazin'

At turnin' lovin' into hatred x2

I won't give a fuck about you x3

Oh, no

I won't give a fuck about you (Oh) x3 

Oh

No, I won't

I won't give a fuck about you, no, I won't

(I won't, I won't, I won't) x2

Quinn sat in the parking lot of Roger’s Arena. You had driven home early, wanting to beat the traffic seeing as the score by the middle of the third period was 0-4. 

The loss of the game and your going home early left Quinn thinking. 

You didn’t need him. 

Sure, you loved him and you loved living with him and the company and affection he gave you, but at the end of the day, you were completely fine being alone. 

The realization had Quinn wiping a few stray tears from his cheeks as he started up the engine of his car. He drove back in silence, hoping you’d be showering and in bed by the time he got home. 

As he focused on the scenery around him in the late hours of the night, that feeling of sadness fizzled into a feeling of relief. If for whatever reason Quinn left you, you would be okay. And now that he understood that, he became even more determined not to lose you.

Because regardless, Quinn Hughes didn’t want to live in a world where you weren’t his.

[plutonianeris]

a message from 13 year old you ‧₊˚✩彡 [letter] 💓🍬

this is a general reading. take what resonates and leave what doesn't. scroll through the images & choose based on your inner guidance and gut feeling. ⛓️ *･῾ ᵎ⌇ ⁺◦ if you feel guided to: tip jar💘 ✧.*

Pile one ‧₊˚✩彡

"what did I tell you? I always knew it would work out in the end. I was always knew the pain wasn't going to last forever. It hurt to be treated that way by the people closest to me, especially the women in my life. there was always so much confusion growing up. people would say pretty things but there body language would show something else. I felt caged in my connections. But I always had some faith. I always had a feeling that the universe was watching out for me... for us. that it was sending us signs. that eventually I would be able to enjoy life to the fullest without feeling guilty for it. without feeling like I had to compare myself to the versions of me that they wanted me to be. I hope you know now that those versions don't exist. that we weren't born to be dolls for other people to dress up and control and shove words and opinions in their mouth and to gargle and spit back up. I doubted my intellgience so much.. underestimated my creativity. but looking at you now.. looking at us... I feel so proud. dont forget about me please! I always believed in you. even on those days where you couldnt stand to look in the mirror. I was on your side this whole time, its just that sometimes you werent listening. But now looking at you, you are everything I ever wanted to be. Im so glad I didnt give up. You deserve it all. the world. your dreams. im rooting for you. heres to more blessings and abundance."

Pile two ‧₊˚✩彡

"remember the way everyone would make fun of us for the weird things we did? Our odd expressions and the questions we asked and how we laughed out loud and our desire to see the world. how it always labeled as silly. I know it had made us dull our self expression for a little while. How we forced ourselves to shrink down, to fake laugh to the mean comments, or "oh this? not a big deal" or "its not that good.." so many of those... just to blend in better with our friends and family at the time. to make them like us. to see if that would make them stop criticizing so damn much. I hope we no longer are letting comments like that slide. I hope we dress like the way we always wanted to in our head but were to afraid to wear out. I hope we didn't let the world extinguish our playful nature. life felt like heartbreak after another. what do you know about love? youre just a kid. they deformed the way we saw it for a long time. but not anymore. It makes me emotional.. the way you never let go my hand. and how you always carried me along with you in your heart. Of course, now you call me your inner child. Or I guess inner teen. Ha, inner tween. Thank you for always being my friend. I see now that you are always what I was meant to be. Out of all the stars in the sky, we shine the brightest, you and me."

Pile three ‧₊˚✩彡

"you are so beautiful... wow we really are so different now. But I still see hints of me in you. in your smirk and your mischievous laugh and in your questioning glances and sharp stare when someone gets a little bit too close to our personal space. I admire the way your presence can make someone nervously glance away. I use to feel so powerless.. so many things I did to try to gain some control, even if it meant hurting myself and pushing away the people I love. I love how vulnerable you are. I really did see it as a weakness but looking at you now, it makes me realize how brave you are. of putting yourself out there despite the uncertainty. of taking that chance even if could end up badly. even if you could end up with a broken heart it seems like you no longer find sastification in staying in the darkness. I understand, its.. well, lonely... being alone. Do you think you could take me with you? That part of you... that is still afraid. do you think you could tell me? tell me that I am not broken or incomplete that there is nothing wrong with me. that I am not the worst thing that has ever happened to me or will happen to me. Reassure me? Tell me that some things we have to do even when we are afraid. that its terrifying and nerve wracking and makes our palms sweat. but then once we do it, it's glorious, it's liberating, it's everything we have ever dreamed of and more. I see it now. Take me with you. Do you see me? I see you. The way you look at the world and want to devour it. I see you now, with a crown atop your head. how you wear it so gracefully..."

Pile four ‧₊˚✩彡

"So many times.... I was so close to giving up. to listening to that little voice in my head that kept telling me over and over again that there was no point. that the feeling and the ache in my chest would last forever. that it was always going to be me versus the world. me versus me. that everything around me would always be dull and gray and that I would always be blue. I doubted my self-worth so much. It was practically non-existent. I still do in some ways now when I pop up and invalidate the way you feel, shrugging my shoulders wondering if maybe we are actually deserving of this happiness... of this success. it feels foreign. like its not really mine.. well, ours. We're not in a really good situation right now and my parents are trying to hide things from me that im just too big now to pretend not to notice. they don't make me feel that protected anymore. and that hurts me a lot. whose gonna take care of me now? Im so glad youre here now. Im so glad we got to grow up and that we survived. and im so glad that now that we survive we can actually live. Thank you for reminding that we can let go now. that theres no room for a pity party anymore. thank you for letting me know that your'e not going to leave me behind. thank you for keeping my memory alive. thank you for looking back at me with kind and loving eyes. but most of all, thank you for fighting for me. I know I can easily lie and say "everything is fine" but thank you for showing me that it eventually it is. thank you proving to me that eventually I will say its fine. its okay. its great even. and that I, that we, actually mean it."

© plutonianeris

[jpitha]

Oblivious?

"Come on, let's go here!" Rach strode purposefully towards the bar off the side of the promenade.

"Rach, that's not a human bar, can we even go in there?" Penny followed behind a few steps. Rach was fun to hang out with, but she was was more adventitious than Penny. She supposed that's why she would follow Rach around when she got an idea. That and to help keep her from getting arrested.

"Don't be speciest. It's a bar! It's where people go to meet and drink and hang out. I would like to drink and hang out, and I've already met you. Seems to me like we've met the requirement." Rach stood at the entrance with her hands on her hips, looking in. Sure enough, there were no humans in the bar. Penny peered around her, and saw the telltale furred feathers of the Tylan.

"Rach, it's an Tylan bar. They don't even drink alcohol.

"They don't drink alcohol? Penny that's the craziest thing I've ever heard. They have to have something to relax and take the edge off. Come on, let's go find out! It never hurts being friendly." Rach squared her shoulders can entered the bar. Penny dithered a moment and realizing Rach wasn't going to be stopped, followed after her.

The moment they entered the bar, the noise inside clattered to a halt. Rach stood at the entrance, framed by the bright lights of the promenade and headed to the long bar along the side of the room. The bar was dimly lit and decorated like dive bars everywhere. Cheap seats, cheap tables, advertisements pasted up on the walls, screens showing games, and tables in the back for regulars. The air handler rumbled quietly overhead and a lightly scented breeze blew around the room.

Rach found an empty seat at the bar and sat down, smiling with her mouth closed. Immediately a Tylan sitting next to her stood and moved to another seat.

Penny followed behind, her head swiveling back and forth, seeing the darting eyes of the Tylans watching them. She sat next to Rach in the newly open seat, and winced. The chairs were made for their bodies, and had lumps and ridges in the seat which were uncomfortable for humans. Rach didn't seem to mind.

The bartender walked over and ruffled their feathers. The noise was loud in the silent bar. "Friends, are you sure you're in the right place?" They spoke Tralang, but with a thick accent and some of the fricatives were lost with their hard beak. Still, Penny caught the unanswered declaration. 'Please leave before there is trouble.'

Rach nodded and looked around. "This is a bar, isn't it? I'd like a drink." Penny's eyes went wide and she tried to sink out of sight in her seat.

The bartender shook their head rapidly back and forth. A nod? "This is a Tylan bar, yes. Tylans drink here." The bartender's beak clacked sharply. Penny knew they were being patient, but also knew enough about Tylan physiology that the bartender was more than slightly annoyed.

"Oh, I'm sure it'll be fine. After all, our money's yellow, isn't it? Rach reached into a coat pocket and slapped a note down on the bar. "What's a Tylan specialty that you can get for me and my friends?"

Without moving their head, the bartender flicked their eyes to the note. Rach had put down a 500 Star note, enough to buy everyone in the bar a drink. Or two or three. Penny's mouth opened slightly. Maybe she wasn't so oblivious after all? "In fact-" Rach continued "-how about something for everyone in the bar? To celebrate friendship?"

At that, the timbre of the bar changed instantly. Penny could feel the temperature of the room rise, could see feathers smooth, could hear people's tone of voice change. After all, the humans were known to be boisterous and friendly. If they're going to spend money anyway, why not let them buy the Tylans some drinks?

The bartender's eyes flcked to the crowd, and then back to Rach. They moved their wing-arms in a complicated gesture - probably their version of a shrug - and scooped up the note. "Okay friend. I'll make you a Melitam Smash. It's popular here."

"Wonderful! Make sure everyone else gets one of what they're drinking too" Rach beamed at the crowd.

After a moment, the bartender slid two crockery cups towards them and then turned to bustle filling everyone else's drink order. The drink steamed slightly - it was served warm - and smelled spicy. Penny took a sip. It was citrusy and spicy and hot and didn't taste alcoholic at all.

Rach took a big gulp of the hot drink and blinked. "This is amazing! what's that citrus note? I can't place it."

The bartender turned back while pouring drinks from a pitcher. "It's the Greblem. It's an insect that is muddled into the drink."

"Oh! That makes sense. I'm tasting the formic acid then." Rach nodded and took another sip. Is it intoxicating?"

The bartender shook their head rapidly side to side again. Definitely a nod. "Mildly, to us." They turned back to their work. Finally Penny couldn't take it anymore.

"Rach, did you know this was going to work?"

"What was?"

"Walking in all bold, and buying everyone a drink? I thought Tylans don't like humans?" Tylans were part of the coalition that made contact with the humans decades ago, but weren't in the initial group. Rumor is they didn't want to accept humanity's entry into the coalition.

"Everyone likes a big spender, Penny. Being friendly and learning about each other is one of the best ways to mend fences and build friendships. Now come on." She picked up her drink and looked towards the back of the bar "They're playing a game, let's go see if we can play too."

[wosoluver]

Not good at saying goodbyes.

Part 3/4 - previous - next

Lena x childhood bestfriend!reader

Lena Oberdorf Masterlist

──✩₊⁺⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧──

Today you got ready like any other day. Had breakfast, got into the car and drove to work.

What you weren't expecting, walking

in was to see Lena's mother there.

When she saw you, her eyes were full of sparkles.

"Y/N! I can't believe this! You're all grown up!" quickly giving you a tight hug you had missed very much. "You're so beautiful. You look just like your mom. How is she? How are you?"

"I'm good, she's doing well, she's planning on retiring and moving back here."

"It's so good to see you. Can't believe Lena didn't tell me you were here."

"I can."

And she quickly looked for her daughter, who had opted for walking away, minutes prior.

"You meant no harm. I know it, sweetheart. And now that you're here, she'll come to terms eventually.

She still celebrated your birthday every year. And hung up your Christmas stocking, oh and she still hasn't watched that movie you had made plans to see together."

"I kept a full diary of the first two years after I moved, so she could catch up, when we were reunited. And watched as many of her games as I could fit in my schedule. Also, I kept the big bear she won me, at the fair we would aways go to."

"Everything is going to end up in the right place. I'm leaving, but just in case, let me give you my number."

"Thanks, it's so good seeing you again."

"You too honey, you have no idea. Have a good day at training, and if you see my daughter, let her know I went home and that I don't appreciate her walking away."

"Of course."

She was just like you remembered. And for a second it made you feel like you went back in time, when you'd aways pass on her messages to Lena when she tried running away from trouble.

You made your way to the locker room but most girls were already at the gym.

"Obi, your-"

"Lena." she harshly said.

"Everyone around here calls you Obi, I'm the one who came up with it!"

"Well you lost the right to it, when you betrayed me!"

"I didn't betray you! I was a kid! Who didn't know what she was doing!"

"You hurt me!"

"I was hurting too! And I thought the best way to protect you, was not saying goodbye."

"Now it doesn't matter why you did it! I can't go back in time, and tell the younger version of myself that! I can't tell her that everything was just a misunderstanding. I can't unbreak her heart!"

"If I could go back in time and change everything, I would. I swear. And I'm sorry that's all I can give you."

"Yeah."

What was that even supposed to mean? 'Yeah'?

In truth Lena didn't know either. She didn't know what say. She only knew how she felt and that was, confused.

"As I was going to say in the first place, your mom went home and you are in trouble."

"For what?"

"Leaving while we were talking."

"She can't be serious! You did it first! And I'm the one in the wrong?"

You only gave her a sad look as she walked out of the room. It was like you were eight again, and getting in trouble for doing whatever the other was doing.

──✩₊⁺⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧──

You tried your best giving her some space after that. After all you had nothing else to say to each other. She had bursted out her feelings and you had apologized. And you had been trying to accept the reality. You were far from doing good, but you decided to put her feelings first. Being respectful, to her wish to not be in touch with you.

"Hey Y/N! We're going out tonight, please come with us." Said Georgia.

"Sorry, I can't. I have some plans I can't bail on."

"No you don't!" said Giulia. "Stop saying that, just so we leave you off the hook, for not showing up at our get togethers."

At this point Stanway had went her own way.

"You can't keep doing this. You're isolating yourself from the team. This has got to be affecting your mental health, the girls are worried."

"No they are not. They think I'm busy because of a relationship."

"Only Syd thinks that. And I know the truth. Please reconsider it?"

"Okay, I'll text you if I change my mind."

──✩₊⁺⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧──

You didn't. Of course you didn't. And that had been the last drop, for her and some of your teammates. After a long talk through the weekend, they had decided on keeping to themselves. To not make things worse.

But Giulia could not hold back when you walked into training, Monday morning, with deeper under-eye bags, and a emotionless look in your face.

You were tired. Tired of crying. Tired of isolating, and only talking to your parents, through a phone. Tired of blaming yourself constantly.

As you left to the field, they all shared a look. Even Lena. You seemed to be doing okay... until stoped pretending you were.

"Don't act surprised! Your the one doing this to her!"

She said looking Obi dead in the eye, and going after you.

"Y/N! Wait up. We can warm up together."

"Is that an excuse for another lecture?"

"No. But you can vent out if you want to."

"There's nothing much to say... Except that leaving Barça was probably a mistake."

"I'm sorry you feel that way."

"Thank you, for trying to include me the best you can, and for taking care of me. You and the girls are great."

"I wish you gave yourself a chance, to be happy here."

──✩₊⁺⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧──

"Give her a chance!" said Lea trying to get it through her friends mind. They had stayed back inside.

"She did worse to me!"

"You're taking this to far! She made a mistake and apologized. And I think not having her best friend for the last 15 years, was punishment enough."

"But-"

"No buts. What she did was wrong. But she was a kid and she thought she was doing the right thing.

You're an adult, and you know you are doing the wrong thing! It's not the same."

"What am I supposed to do?"

"Do you think your younger self would approve of this? Of anyone treating her this way? Because the Lena I know, would never treat someone like this. Especially someone she loves."

──✩₊⁺⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧──

"You still care a lot about her huh?"

"I love her and I don't think anything can change that. I promised myself to never leave her again."

"Just don't break your own heart, to keep that promise."

"I don't think a heart can be broken twice. But I'll try my best not to push everyone away."

"That's a good start. You need to feel better for the match this week. Frankfurt is a little harder to beat."

It felt good having someone to talk to again. And you knew you could only blame yourself for the loneliness you had been in. And she was right, you had to give yourself a chance, with or without Lena. Although that isn't how you ever planned your life to go.

──✩₊⁺⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧──

Next part out either today or tomorrow 🩷

[thoughtswithbbg]

Chapter 3

    You stared at the two fully grown men in front of you, and you couldn’t help your thoughts that wandered, and your face flushed a very bright red. Gojo looked at you with a growing smirk on his face, his arms folded across his chest and made his pecs pop. You could almost feel your mouth water at the sight. Geto, on the other hand was staring at you with a kind smile. He reached out and hugged you close, shocking you and Gojo.

    “Thank You, so much...” His voice cracked a bit, and you felt your heart break slightly. You glanced over Geto’s shoulder to look at Gojo. He had a conflicted frown on his face, and you mouthed, ‘should we tell him or-?’ and Gojo simply nodded his head. You pulled away and kept your hands on Geto’s shoulders. 

    “Please follow me,” You dragged him into your room and reached for the Jujutsu Kaisen manga you had to show him what had happened after his death. You opened the pages, about to show it to him when you stopped. It was gone. Jujutsu Kaisen didn’t exist anymore. But that didn’t make sense, because they were here, with you. You turned and looked at Gojo and Geto with a frown.

    “It’s gone…” Gojo cursed at your words and sighed, he didn’t know what that meant but he assumed it wasn’t good.

    “What’s gone?” Geto was confused, why did you and Satoru look so...Sad? Confused? Angry? He didn’t know but he wanted to. 

    You and Gojo explained a glance before explaining EVERYTHING. What happened after he died, how they were in a different world and other things Geto had to know. He fell silent and almost looked how Gojo did when you first explained everything. You felt bad, really bad. And also, a bit in danger.

    “If it makes you feel any better, Geto,” You started, having their gazes on you. Geto’s glare was making you nervous. “I feel as though, this is your version of the afterlife. Like your paradise after all you went through.” 

    Gojo and Geto thought about your words, and then have you comforting smiles. You sighed in relief, muttering about how you thought you were going to get purple hallowed or have a curse set on you. You paused in thought for a moment. 

    “You guys don’t have any clothes, do you? or phones, or shoes or-“ You started going on a whole rant on what they needed and panicking because you were broke as shit. They watched you pace around the room and didn’t really know what to say. 

    “Okay!” You spoke up after a bit of pacing. “If Jujutsu Kaisen doesn’t exist anymore, that means you all won’t recognized! Which scratches off one problem off our list. But the next problem is, I’m too poor to have two more people with me. Which means I’m going to have to work extra shifts.” You groaned at the thought, you hated working enough as it is but it needed to be done. 

    “Sooooooo,” Gojo spoke up. “What are me and Suguru going to do?” 

    “Well, you all will just have to stay here and entertain yourselves somehow.” You grabbed your phone and went to the other room to call your boss and let him know you’ll be working extra shifts. 

    The two men sat in silence, looking around your room at everything. It was…. cluttered, but you had a system even if they didn’t know it. You came back into the room a bit later, rushing to grab some jeans, a plain white t shirt and of course a pair of underwear and a bra. You looked at them, as if saying get out. Geto pulled his best friend out of your room while you changed. When you were done, you walked into your bathroom to put on a tiny bit of makeup.

    “What’s the rush?” Gojo asked and you jumped, almost messing up your mascara. 

    You glared over at him slightly before sighing. “I need to be at work in 20 minutes if I want extra pay and over time.” You grabbed one of your favorite lip glosses and began to leave the house. “Please don’t kill each other, there’s food in the fridge and a couple ingredients if y’all can even cook, and I think that’s everything? I’m not sure but please don’t burn my house down.” You left shortly after that, and they were both bored out of their minds.

    The days continued liked that for a while, till you finally had enough money saved up to buy the guys good clothes. You ordered the basics off amazon, just so Geto wasn’t walking around in monk clothes and Gojo didn’t look like he was going to a karate dojo. They just had basic jeans and some tee shirts that were just black, grey and white. You burst through the door after one extra-long day of overtime work and had the biggest grin on your face. 

    “We can finally go shopping!!” You had bought the bare necessities weeks ago, but now they can get clothes they actually like, with shoes and everything. You worked enough to have around 1,000 dollars of spending money for you and the guys. They watched you pace around the room, a growing smile on both faces. 

    “When do you guys want to go? This weekend, maybe?” You had already changed into your PJs and plopped down on the couch between them. You all had grown closer as they had been living with you. Gojo slept on the couch while you used almost ever blanket for Geto’s bed in the floor. He insisted he only need one or two, but you wouldn’t listen. You were living every Jujutsu Kaisen females dream, having two of the most desired men in the entire manga and anime living in your house. 

    “This weekend sounds good, it’s kind of weird being in another world, huh Suguru?” Gojo had spread out across you and Geto to rest his head in his best friend's lap. They did this all the time, sometimes you were offered an invitation, but you didn’t want to intervene in…whatever they had. They didn’t tell you and you didn’t ask. 

    Geto nodded at Gojo’s words, and you felt yourself frown. This had to have been difficult for them, maybe they want to go back. Little did you know, that neither of them wanted to go back to a world where everything went to shit.

   “I should probably go to sleep, it’s kind of late and I have to get up in the morning...” You attempted to get up, but Gojo forced himself to basically put his whole-body weight on you to prevent you from moving. “Gojo move your fat ass.” You rolled his eyes at how ridiculous he was acting.

    “You never hang out with us! it’s like living with a stranger, we barely know you! So, sit your beautiful ass down and let’s chat about you sweet cheeks!” Gojo sat up and crisscrossed apple sauced himself beside you. You felt your face flush a bit at his odd use of complements and words but shrugged none the less. You did owe them a bit about yourself, not too much though, you barely know them as it is. 

    You went on an entire rant about your life, your parents, friends, drama, etc. and they ate it up. Geto rarely asked questions to let you talk, he only had one or two at the end of a topic. Gojo on the other hand, had a million questions a minute. For every little thing, he even ended up talking constantly about himself a bit which pissed you and Geto off. 

    This went on for HOURS. It was 2 A.M. before Gojo finally passed out on the couch and Geto’s eyes started to droop. You smiled at them but yawned and told the black-haired male you were heading to bed. You fell asleep the moment your head hit your pillow, not waking until the early hours of the morning after your alarm goes off. 

    It was such a rude awakening, but you wanted today to be fun for them, they deserved it after all. You sat up in your bed and rubbed your eyes sleepily, maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. You felt like death. You moved to get out of bed but noticed two figures curled up at the foot of your bed. Gojo had one arm across the width of your bed to connect with Geto’s arm on the other side. It shocked you a bit to see the sleeping in the floor, but you smiled fondly, they may have had a nightmare or something, so you don’t mind. 

    You carefully crawled out of bed to get ready for the day, and to make breakfast. You did a tiny bit of makeup, pulled your (H/L) hair into a high ponytail, did basic human hygiene, and went to start on some bacon and eggs. You began frying the bacon so you could get a big pile for the men, they did tend to eat a lot. You were making the scrambled eggs when two arms circled around your waist making you squeal and whip around with the hot spatula to smack them in the face. Gojo, who was the culprit, fell to the floor groaning and holding his forehead.

    “Oh my gosh! Gojo I’m so sorry but don’t sneak up on me like that you, disgusting rat!” He cackled at your insult and blew you a kiss from his place on the floor. You rolled your eyes and kicked him lightly in the stomach, from which he stood up and dusted off the invisible dirt on him. 

   Geto walked in a couple minutes later, hair a mess and rubbing the sleep away from his eyes. “Is Satoru being a rat again?” You laughed when Gojo made an offended face at his best friend.

   “Yes actually,” You were still giggling as you passed out plates and food. Gojo huffed but ate his scrambled eggs and bacon. You didn’t mention the fact that they both slept at the end of your bed, they didn’t need to know you knew. You whipped out your phone and looked at all the shops the mall offered. 

    “Okay, I’m going to put something other than pj’s on, will you both please do the same? we can go after that!” You left the table, put your plate in the sink and went into your room to throw some clothes on. 

   “Satoru, you get clothes on and I’ll wash the dishes, we need to make things easier on her.” Geto grabbed his and Gojo’s plate to the sink. Gojo got up and followed him, wanting to help as well. “Dish washing is not a two-person task.”

    “I want to help too Suguru, you’re going to hog all her attention! she’ll be all over you and I want some of that.” He protested, picking up a rag to dry the dishes and put them away. 

    “Alright fine.” They both worked on cleaning the dishes, even the ones that were already in the sink. When you came back into the kitchen, Gojo put the last cup away. You flung your arms around them as thanks, and they laughed and hugged you back. 

    “Thank you, guys,” they both rambled that it was the least they could do, considering you have done so much for them. You just laughed and told them to put decent clothes on before you all head to the mall. 

    The poor guys squished into your tiny car, even though it had a front seat, they couldn’t stop arguing about who would sit there. So, you simply banished them both into the back seat and turned some Taylor Swift on to lighten the mood. The song came on and you immediately started singing as you drove, turning it up a bit. 

    “You’re on the phone with your girlfriend, she’s upset,” You had sung along to the words as you bopped your head to the music. Gojo and Geto had never heard of an artist like this, but Gojo was quick to learn the words and sing along with you, while Geto just tapped his foot to the beat of the song.

        The Mall wasn't terrible far from your house, maybe a 20-minute drive. You pulled into a parking space, almost scaring the two men to death.  "Geez, you seriously can't drive (y/n)..." Gojo snickered at his comment when you frowned at him in the rearview mirror. You rolled your eyes and got out of the car, allowing them to exit as well. 

        "Alrighty! Here we go!" You drug them into several stores, making them try on all sorts of clothes and whatever fit them that they liked you purchased for them. You even drug them to a make-up store, only for you though and only after you got the clothes they needed. You smiled contently as you walked out of the mall at dusk. 

        "You spent forever in there..." Gojo complained as you began on the drive home, Geto fighting a yawn beside him in the car. You fought a yawn as well as you drove along a long road to get home.

[blackknight-100]

I'm absolutely obsessed with how mythology portrays parent-child relationships, especially when at least one divine party is involved. I've talked about Karna and Arjuna's relationship with their fathers, and how it might tie up to their characters and situations, and the Mahabharata as a whole, but they're not the only ones! Speaking exclusively about father-son dynamics in this post, and we have a lot of them!

You have Yudhisthira, whose father Yama/Dharma shows up in his son's mortal life twice (iirc), gives him a 20 min quiz each time and then tells him that no son, we don't allow dogs in heaven (which, how dare, but we all have that one parent). This is so in line with Yudhisthira's arc, poor man that he is, having to spend his whole life finding answers to questions about righteousness and honour, losing his friends, brothers, wife and children in the process.

Rama-Dasharatha and Ganesha-Shiva are pretty straightforward - there's plenty of mutual love and respect despite the horrors ™️ , but then there is Rama and Luv-Kush. If you're counting the Uttar Kand, then these boys literally saw their mother die because there father could not stop questioning her honour. That has to mess with your head. There's no way it's a happily ever after story.

Another man who interests me greatly is Yayati. Like sir... what were you doing. Who grows old and thinks, "You know what would be great? Me borrowing my son's youth" and then curses them when they refuse? What were you thinking. What were your kids thinking. I need to take your heads apart with a scalpel, this is so incredibly insane. A father should give to his children - the only thing this man "gave" was to spare Puru from his curse.

You have Bhishma and Shantanu, another wild story. I understand that Bhishma chose to give up his birthright to make Shantanu happy, but can you actually tell me Shantanu wasn't at least somewhat interested in the plan? Shantanu is Bhishma's father, it's his job to stop him from doing things like this. I feel like pulling my hair out everytime I think of this. You can tell that Bhishma was afraid for his father's well-being when he made this decision, and that so... unfair.

On the other end of the spectrum are Krishna and Vasudeva, who are wholesome to the point of despair. Vasudeva giving up his everything just to get his boy out of prison?? Waiting years and years for him, but never lamenting or cursing Krishna for not coming fast enough??? That's peak fatherhood (Shantanu take lessons). And Krishna honours that sacrifice!! He comes from idyllic Vrindavan, slays the tormentor of his parents and rips the bars of their prison!!! And that old married couple trapped within those dank, dreary walls, with no one except the other for company, watches their godly son turn up to free them and show them the sky for the first time in more than a decade - the thought of it brings me to tears. Possibly the only part I like about the change from baby!Krishna to adult!Krishna is his reunion with Vasudeva and Devaki!

Oh, and last but not least, our favourite problematic pair: Jamadagni and sons. I'm slightly terrified by how Jamadagni was like "kill your mother for me she's sinful >:(" and when four sons refused, he actually killed them. HIS OWN SONS! Admittedly, in some versions he asks Parashuram to do the killing but like... those are his brothers. Who probably swaddled him and rocked him and fed him and played with him. And all this is presumably happening right in front of Renuka. And then Parashuram has to kill his mother as well, unless he wants to be a heap of ashes.

(In some versions, including the one I've always heard as a child, Parashuram is said to be "aware of" his father's immense power, which just seems to me a really polite way to say that Parashuram knew disobeying his father had consequences ™️ that weren't always right or rational)

Worse, after the killing is done, Jamadagni is so pleased he offers Parashuram a boon, presumably with the remains of the rest of his family still nearby, and when Parashuram asks for his mother and brother to be revived, Jamadagni is all like "ooh actually I got really angry, I think I'm going to renounce rage forever. Dw btw your brothers and mother forgot you killed them you're welcome <3"

Sir??? This is what you got out of the whole issue???? No wonder Parashuram killed a whole bunch of kings, this couldn't have been healthy.

[black-arcana]

Watch: EVANESCENCE's AMY LEE Joins HALESTORM For 'Break In' Performance At Canadian Tour Kick-Off

EVANESCENCE singer Amy Lee joined HALESTORM on stage last night (Tuesday, October 15) at the Vancouver stop of the two bands' joint Canadian tour to perform the HALESTORM song "Break In". Fan-filmed video of the performance can be seen below.

In August 2020, HALESTORM released the official music video for a reimagined version of "Break In", featuring a guest appearance by Lee. The new version of the track, which originally appeared on HALESTORM's second album, 2012's "The Strange Case Of..." , was recorded in October 2019 at a Nashville studio with producer Nick Raskulinecz, who had previously worked with both bands. The clip captured Hale and Lee delivering an impassioned studio performance of the track.

The updated "Break In" appeared on "Halestorm Reimagined", a collection of reworked HALESTORM original songs as well as a cover of "I Will Always Love You", the love ballad made famous by Whitney Houston and Dolly Parton.

Lzzy and Amy performed a quarantine rendition of "Break In" in May 2020 on Hale's Internet show "Raise Your Horns With Lzzy Hale".

Speaking about the collaboration, Lzzy told Amy: "What I love about dueting on that song with you is that it started out as as love song that I wrote for my significant other" — referring to HALESTORM guitarist Joe Hottinger — "but when we sing it together, it's this act of unity, especially with the two of us being women and being women musicians. It's like we have each other's backs. And the lyrics mean something completely different when I sing it [with you]."

Regarding the way the new version of "Break In" was recorded, Lzzy said: "We did it performance-style, literally next to each other in the same room — from beginning of song to end of song, singing with each other.

"I've never done anything like that, but especially with a female singer of your prowess."

Amy added: "Nick always gets the challenge and gets the most out of me… So he made us stand there in the room and sing it live together a bunch of times. What that really means is that editing, you couldn't use when you did something cool but I messed up; it would have to be that we both nailed it for it to make the cut. So to do it in that way was really challenging and it was really cool and it fits the song so well.

"I remember you saying, and we both were saying, when we were listening back, it's really weird, at times — I know my part, but you can't pick out whose voice that is in that one particular moment, 'cause we started matching each other, 'cause it was on the spot. It's really cool how that happens.

"It feels like a match. It doesn't feel like any one person is pulling the other person along a little bit or leading the train. It really felt like an evenly matched dance."

Lzzy and Amy originally performed "Break In" together in 2012 during the "Carnival Of Madness" tour, which was headlined by EVANESCENCE and featured HALESTORM in the support slot. At the time, Hale told Zoiks! Online about how the live collaboration came about: "It's funny. We had talked in the beginning of the tour, 'Oh, we should do something.' What would we do? Do we do a cover? Do I come out during her set? She came up to me, I think it was two weeks in and said, 'I'm obsessed with your song 'Break In' right now.' I was like, 'Thank you so much.' Then she said, 'I know all of your parts, all the backing parts and everything.' I was like, 'Sweet, that's awesome.' Then she said, 'This is going to sound really weird and please feel free to say no, but do you think I could come up during that song and sing it with you?' I'm, like, 'Of course. This is awesome.' We didn't have a whole lot of time to rehearse. We literally ran through it once before our show in El Paso, right before the doors opened. It was perfect. I told her, queue insane crowd noise. She was like, 'Oh, I don't know.' 'No, seriously — they're going to freak when you walk out on stage.' ... [And] they did. We couldn't hear each other for the first four lines."

Back in 2021, EVANESCENCE and HALESTORM joined forces for a massive North American tour that ended up being a rousing success.

[hufflepuffwriter1995]

The Witches Vow

  Summary: I had never believed I would own a hybrid, but when I found an old friend I had long since believed to have lost, I couldn’t help myself. But my friend only has one request, save the six others he is locked up with and I never have been able to say no to him. 

  Pairing: Hybrid!BTS x Fem!WitchReader 

  Themes: Found Family, Poly Relationship, Hurt and Comfort, Friends to Lovers, Strangers to Lovers, Hybrid AU, Fantasy, Supernatural, Magic 

  Warnings: Hurt, Angst, Mentions of Abuse, Mentions of Sexual Assault, Injury and Hurt, Witchcraft and magic, hybrids being pets, eventual smut, brief mentions of murder. This has only been edited with the free version of Grammarly, so please be kind

  Rating: 18+ 

  Characters: 

Jin: Amur Leopard 

Yoongi: Black Tiger 

Hoseok: Lynx 

Namjoon: Artic Wolf 

Jimin: Arctic Fox 

Taehyung: Snow Leopard 

Jungkook: Red Fox 

Ryoko: Reader 

Notes: This was previously uploaded under the title "Finding the Pack" But upon re-reading it I decided I wanted to expand the fic a bit more, and felt the name didn't match the vibe I was going for. So it is now being re-uploaded as "The Witches Vow". Please do not steal my work.

  Chapter One

“You have a tail!” I turned, understanding washing over me as I spied my two-year-old self, sitting with a two-year-old young boy. At two Taeyhung was all energy, his white fluffy ears pinned towards me as his tail slowly slid behind his back. “That's so cool!” I gushed in two-year-old wonder. Taehyung instantly relaxed, a bright, boxy smile spreading across his little face. 

  “We are best friends now!” Taehyung announced all authority in his voice. Across the yard, our mothers chuckled, a fond look on both of their faces. The scene changes then, going black until I can spot myself and Taehyung again. This time we are older, about five and sitting in the tree house my father had built us after we began reading the Magic Tree House books and begged for weeks to get. While I didn’t need to, I had all these memories memorized I could recite them perfectly, I moved towards the sounds of childish giggles. 

   “Do it again!” Tae begged, eyes lighting up as I once again made the flower in my hand open and close. That had been the start of magic coming in and we had both been amazed by it. Naturally, I showed him first, I had shown him everything first back then. We were basically joined at the hip, the closest of friends. “It's so cool you can do magic!” He sighs wistfully. “All I can do is turn into a kitten!” 

  “But a cute kitten!” I giggle, my words causing Taehyung to flush a deep shade of crimson before swearing he wasn’t cute. The scene changed again, shifting this time to a cemetery. I stood dressed in black, my little hand tightly gripping Taehyung’s. We were seven and both watched as they lowered his mother’s casket into the ground. She had been murdered, but of course, at seven we hadn’t been given that information, we had only been told she had died suddenly.

  For the first time, I tore my gaze from my younger self and the boy that haunted my dreams and turned them to his father. He was wracked with guilt enough that it overlapped his grief. No tears were shed, and at the time I told my little self it was because Taehyung needed him. Now I knew the truth, knew what the man had done and felt the anger rising inside of me. 

   “Promise me you won’t leave me too,” Taehyung whispered, his voice drawing my attention back. Even now his words broke me, the pain lacing each word. 

   “I promise Tae.” And, at seven, I had meant that promise, meant it like the vow I would later make. As the scene changed again, I felt myself tensing, preparing myself for what I knew was coming. 

   “LET HIM GO!” I screamed, racing down the steps of my house, my father cursing out behind me. It was the day after the funeral and I was still in my Lilo and Stitch pajamas. But that didn’t stop me from racing towards the man carrying screaming Taehyung. As I reached him, the man kicked me, my gasp of pain and fear loud to my ears. 

  “Don’t you dare touch my daughter!” My mother screamed, her voice laced with anger as she slipped into her mama bear mode. But I paid it no mind, despite the pain racing up my ribs I jumped forward and grasped Taehyung’s hand, as if I had a prayer of pulling him free. 

  “Help! Help me!” Taehyung begged, tears staining his cheeks. 

  “Daddy do something! Curse him, mama!” I screamed, crying out in pain as the pain kicked me once again. This time, before I could lunge, my father had me in his arms. 

  “We can’t petal, that man owns Taehyung now.” His words, even then, didn’t make sense to me. How could someone own another person? Seeing the fear in Taehyung’s eyes, understanding I was powerless, I did the one thing I could at that moment. 

  “Taehyung, I make you a witches vow!” I screamed, ignoring my mother's gasp and her cries for me to stop. “I vow to find you Taehyung and I may never again live in peace until I do!” I didn’t know it then, but those words would haunt me. Not because I regretted making them, but because they would leave me with visions of the boy I had loved. 

   This time, as the scene changed, I knew it wouldn’t be good. The visions always started the same, showing me my past before showing me Taehyung’s present. Sure enough, as the scene settled I found myself in a barn I had grown to familiar with, despite never going there myself. The sounds of pained breathing filled my ears, along with the stench of young men chained together. Moving slowly, I made my way to the wall that held Taehyung and the others. Though I never did pay them much mind, my gaze was always focused on the snow leopard. 

  “Oh, Tae,” I whispered, kneeling as I studied him. He was skinny and hurt, a scratch on his head that was now caked with dried blood. I took a little comfort in knowing it still wasn’t bleeding, but it didn’t provide me with much. “I am still looking!” I had wanted to say more but movement caught my eye and I turned to find the ghost of a girl, she was around my age and from the look of her floppy red ears had been a fox hybrid in life. 

  “You can see me?” 

  “I can see the dead, but I wasn’t aware you could see me,” I replied, shock lacing my voice. The girl turned to Tae, who slowly lifted his head. 

  “You must go, he’s coming and I promise, you won’t want to see this but I will find you.” The ghost vowed and just that, as it always did, I was jolted back into my own present. 

   I let out a gasp I sat up in bed, my left hand flying to cover the “T” tattooed on my skin. The small letter had appeared after I made the vow, another reminder one was made as if I needed one. Taehyung, was never far from my mind, no matter what I found myself doing in life. One second of quiet was enough for me to draw up the latest vision, replaying it in my mind as if I could suddenly find a clue as to where he was being kept. In the years since that day, I never stopped searching. As I child I went to every police station I could, begging them to find my kidnapped friend. Some were kind, telling me softly that they could tell I was scared, but in the eyes of the law, Taehyung hadn’t been kidnapped, only sold. Others had only sighed, shoving away the photo the second they saw his fluffy white and black ears and told me to grow up and accept reality. 

  When I found no help there, I turned to my craft, attempting to scry for his location only to fail every time. I needed a piece of him for the magic to focus on, to feel and track and his father had never let me inside. The guilt and shame of what he had done had caused him to lock himself in his house and become a recluse. Not that I blamed him. He had gambled himself into debt with the wrong people and when they couldn’t get their money they killed his wife and took Taehyung to cover the payments. They didn’t care about the young boy they were stealing, only wanted to make him pay for a payment that was never his. 

   My parents had banned me from going over when they found out I was screaming the details of my visions through the door, determined to make him face the reality of the life he had forced his son into. Dad said he was suffering enough and Mama just claimed Taehyung’s fate wasn’t my story to share. She was right of course, she always was, but that didn’t stop me from wanting him to grasp the severity of what he had done, what his actions were doing to his son. A part of me, I suppose, also wanted him to feel the same pain I felt when I had to see him chained and beaten, to know I had failed him yet again. 

   Shaking my head, I thought about the latest vision, my attention for once turning to the ghost. Never once had I been seen in them, I had always been a spectator to whatever Taehyung was facing in those brief moments the magic pulled me towards him.  The fact that I was seen, even by a ghost, caused a flicker of hope to spread across my chest. Maybe she would keep her word, maybe she would find me or perhaps in the next vision she could tell me a location. 

  With more hope than I have had in years, I threw back the thick warm covers of my bed and climbed out of it, smiling as I heard the telltale signs of my cousin Aera bustling around the kitchen. Aera and I had gotten close after Taehyung had been kidnapped, as she was the one willing to help me find him at all costs. She had spent countless hours with me handing out flyers, begging anyone if they had seen him. It was through this that we met our friends Izzadora and Electra, the twins who were all too happy to grab some flyers and go out and do their own hunting. With them, they brought Jessamine, Luna and Kiko, and our search team of two grew into a search team of seven.

    I longed to tell Taehyung that he had a whole team of people searching for him, determined to bring him somewhere safe, but I knew he couldn’t hear me. The hours I had spent screaming at him when he was in his human form, begging him to just say anything, proved that. Shaking my head, pushing away those painful memories as I made my way downstairs. 

  While old, the house was the thing I was most proud of. After my grandparents passed, they left me with the house, or rather a small mansion to be fair. It had ten rooms, five bathrooms and a complete basement. I had also turned the attic into a small library and reading nook. Thankfully, the sales of my book series kept me afloat, allowing me to finish renovations while also putting a large sum aside for my savings. I had kept it to the original structure, doing my best to update it while also keeping that old-fashioned charm that I loved so much about it. 

   As I walked into the kitchen, I wasn’t at all surprised to find Aera staring at the coffee machine, watching as it slowly brewed with her head lying on her arms that were folded on the counter. Her black hair was pulled back into a braid, and her crimson eyes reflected in the coffee pot. Her eyes were always my favourite part about my cousin, they always reminded me of living flames, a sted fast reminder of the power brewing beneath her skin. As a fire fae, she was all flames and hot-headedness, which is why my uncles hadn’t waited to adopt her. They knew she would fit in well with their sass and man had she lived up to that. 

  “Another vision?” She said in a way of greeting, crimson eyes meeting mine for only a moment before looking back at the coffee. 

  “Yes, but I was seen this time, by a ghost.” My words caused her to let out a surprise yelp, standing up straight as she spun around to face me. 

  “You were what?” 

  “Seen, by a ghost, a fox hybrid judging by her ears,” I explained, as I grabbed out the stuff for breakfast. Aera may be able to strive on coffee alone, but I needed food to help me along. “She promised to find me.”

  “Why aren’t you more excited? Jesus this is wonderful news! We may actually find him now.” As she spoke, she settled back down in front of the coffee maker, the little bit of energy my news had spurred dying out. Aera never had been a morning person, her energy usually coming either after ten am or that first cup of coffee. 

  “I am hopeful, more so than I have been in the past but what if she can’t me?” Now that I was more awake, the doubts were starting to creep in, the fear that I had been so desperate to find him that I made up a ghost to help me. 

  “You know how your magic works, even in a vision once a spirit feels your magic they can track you. Lord knows I have seen you deal with enough clingy spirits to know damn well, even a brief encounter can draw them to you and before you say anything, if she could SEE you, she could feel your magic.” 

   I bite my lip, so desperately wanting to believe her but I was also getting scared, the fear eating at what little hope I once had. Sensing my doubt, Aera reached out and threw a small ball of fire at me, the ball just warm enough to shock me but not cause any harm. Scowling, I tossed a grape at her, earning a chuckle from her. 

  “Get out that head of yours.” She said softly, her gaze flickering to me as I let out a tiny gasp. “Hello dead person, my name is Aera. I can’t see you please bear that in mind for the duration of your stay.” I rolled my eyes at her, shaking my head as I looked at the ghost from my vision.

   “She seems fun.” The girl mused, eyeing Aera with a grin that caused my cousin to shiver under her gaze. “But I told you I would find you! It didn’t take me very long, your magic leaves a strong essence behind. They all felt, the boys I mean, but they didn’t see you. He vailed you from them. He brought in a witch once you made that vow. I remember I was there. He was so angry that he wasn’t told Taehyung was bound to a powerful young witch.” 

  “I imagine his father didn’t have time to tell him, seeing how Tae was taken.” I mused as Aera passed me a cup of coffee. Far too used to my conversations with the dead, she sat beside me, nodding as I quickly filled her in on what was said. 

  “I had told you that you were a powerful witch, stronger than anyone else in the family to be sure.” Aera said with a shit-eating grin that I knew was her version of an “I told you so.” 

  “Yeah, I like her! Anyways, if you want, I can take you to him. You can’t find him on your own, he cloaked your magic specifically but as a guide you wouldn’t really need magic.”

  “You would help us?” 

  “Of course, I want him to pay, and judging from the power I can sense off of you both, you wouldn’t hesitate to make him pay.”

  “Oh, I plan on burning everything down to the ground once we get there,” Aera said after I filled her in. “If he didn’t want to burn alive, he shouldn’t have pissed me off.” 

  “Take us, today, no more waiting.” 

  “Oh good, because he sold them. They will be moved tomorrow and then I can’t help you.” At her words, I jumped up, grabbed my keys and yelled at Aera to throw her coffee into a to-go cup. 

  “What a wonderful way to start the day, murder and a rescue!” I didn’t need to look behind me to know there was a wild gleam in her eyes. 

   It took four hours to get to the farm where Taehyung was held, four hours of my anxiety skyrocketing to the point I felt like I couldn’t breathe. What if Taehyung had forgotten about me? What if he hated me for taking so long to make good on my vow? All those thoughts kept jumping through my mind as Aera drove, taking turns as I told her, our ghostly guide seated between us. In the four hours of driving, I learned her name was Sana. She was the first Jeehung had collected through his debts. She told me all about how he only targeted those with hybrids, wanting to get his hands on them while also making their owners lose everything else in the process. It was fun for him, the pain he caused. 

  Jeehung was the only one working there, but lately, he had gotten too old to keep all his hybrids in line, seven I had learned. One of them, a tiger, had caused some serious injury the last time he attacked the hybrids. He had decided then they had to be sold. Sana had been killed that day, murdered as she tried to escape to get them all help. The boys had wanted her to run, to get her away from the horrors and took her murder hard. 

  We drove in silence up the long, gravel drive, the van bumping as we drove over potholes. The closer we got, the brighter the T on my wrist seemed to glow, and I knew Sana was right. Taehyung was close, so close I swore I could feel him. As we came to the stop, Aera and I glanced at each other before throwing the doors open. We had only taken a step when a man, the same man I had seen all those years ago, came barreling from the run-down house. 

  “You little fucking bitch!” He snarled as he stared at me, recognition filling his gaze. “I should have killed that stupid leopard.” 

  “Where is he?” I demanded, smirking as I raised a hand and vines sprang up around his feet, winding themselves around his legs. “I will only ask once.”

   “Why you can’t touch him? He’s being sold tomorrow and until then he is my property.” 

  “Actually I can, if I can prove that you have harmed or abused them in any way, or even murdered a hybrid, I can legally take over their guardianship.” His face paled at the word murdered, his gaze flickering between Aera and me, no doubt trying to figure out how we knew. “I can see her, you know. So while I don’t need you to tell me where it would help you in the long run.” 

  “Stupid little witch bitch.” He snarled, pulling a gun. Before he could aim it though, the gun was in flames, burning him enough that he dropped it with a yelp. 

  “Go, get Taehyung, I will handle this one,” Aera whispered, the flames in her hands turning a bright, silvery blue. I nodded, taking off after Sana as she led the way. 

  “TAEHYUNG I AM COMING FOR YOU!”

Taehyung P.O.V 

 Taehyung had long since stopped hoping for Ryoko to remember him. He had known, even at the age of seven, that she was destined to be a powerful witch. Even at the age of two, the buzz of the promise of her magic washed over him, a silent promise. She surely had more important things to do than worry about a boy she had met and lost in her childhood. Even if the little “R” on the inside of his wrist stood as a reminder of the desperate vow she had made that last day he had seen her. 

   There had been times though, the briefest of moments, when he swore he could feel that familiar buzz of her magic. Hell, he had even sworn at times he could hear her voice, hear the desperation in her voice as she begged him to tell him where he was. Those little moments he chopped up to that part of him that refused to give up hope, that refused to believe she would forget about him. For so long she had been his safe place, her memories the only thing that could get him through most of the abuse he faced. Closing his eyes, he let his head fall back down onto the worn wood of the barn and tried to ignore that part of him that had summoned her voice. 

   “Taehyung, if you don’t answer her she is going to get us killed.” Yoongi’s snarl broke through the silence, his words causing Taehyung to let out a desperate gasp. 

   “She’s here!”

[spectrechosts]

Dressed Up To The Eyes - Chapter 5

Chillin' with the killbot girlfriend.

Full Series

"Not sure about this."

Medusa grumbled and buried her face in Jester's neck as she scrolled through cybernetics catalogues on her tablet.

"C'mon, we're just looking! You don't like your body, lets see what our options are."

Jester reached her hand back and gently drummed on the side of Medusa's helmet with her fingers. It usually calmed her down, she liked to think of it as the Medusa version of stroking her hair.

"Options are expensive."

"Lookin's cheap. Do you want to be a government killbot for the rest of your life?"

Medusa squeezed her tighter.

"No."

"So make a wishlist with me! We can figure out how to make it work later."

"Setting up for disappointment."

"You're disappointed now."

Medusa made a tone that was probably meant to be a whiny grumble.

"Show me."

"Yessss. Okay, what are we looking for here?"

"Better voicebox. Human-standard jaw replacement." Medusa said, peeking over her shoulder.

"Okay, wh-"

"Terran type 3 connector."

"Okay." Jester and Medusa watched as the screen filled with compatible cybernetics, pictures accompanied with star ratings and prices in the tens of thousands of credits. "I mean, that's not that bad." Jester said, trying to calculate how long it would take her to save up enough for just this one part.

"Pretty bad."

"Yeah, but there's like, there's orgs that help with this shit. Insurance that covers it. It's not impossible."

"Search full body chassis. Terran type 6 neck connector."

Jester punched in the search, and another page of results populated the screen.

She whistled.

"That's, I mean, we could afford that eventually" She said.

"Or could afford a house eventually."

"It's- Any number of things could happen. Maybe the government will be like 'Hey, please never tell anybody we did techno-necromancy on you. Here's a sweet bod.' and you can just get whatever you want on their dime."

"Unlikely. Cheaper and safer to decommission. Get used to killbot girlfriend."

"It's not about what I can or cannot get used to." Jester said. "I want you to feel comfortable in your own skin."

"Have very little skin." Said Medusa, deadpan.

"Dusa."

She bumped her forehead against Jester.

"Can cope. Had years to come to terms with it."

"But you shouldn't have to cope!" Jester whined. "You should be happyyyy."

"Am happy enough." Another gentle headbutt. "Stop fussing."

"Ugggh."

Medusa rolled her eyes and reached for the tablet, typing in a serial number from memory.

"Hypothetically. Want this one "

Jester whistled again as the page loaded, though this time not just at the price tag.

"Wow, look at the tits on you." She said.

"Not why."

"Still." Jester said, scrolling through the specs. "Dusa this would make you seven feet tall. It can lift 1,500 kilos? Skin can withstand small arms fire, chassis can withstand anti-tank weaponry?"

"Not everything about killbot body is terrible. Feel very strong. Like how intimidated people are by me. Want to maintain."

"What the fuck. Where did you even find this? Is this military hardware or just the world's most expensive amazon fetish gear?"

"Think both."

[panelshowsource]

i feel like i'm so annoying being like JOE WILKINSON ROISIN CONATY but please understand i say it because it would be guaranteed hilarious 🥹

but okay okay let's think

first i think it would be funny to have some of the well-known bonafide smartypantses on, like jo brand, david and victoria, charlie brooker, clive anderson, richard osman, dara, and john oliver, because it's just funny as heck to see them get tripped up or stumped hehe and you may be thinking "what about stephen fry and sandi toksvig?" THERE IS NO STUMPING THEM. EVER. AND DON'T YOU FORGET IT.

there are lots of other lowkey smartypantses who would be so funny — paul foot, armando iannucci, adam buxton, elis james, lee mack, rhod gilbert, bill bailey, miles jupp, wild card suggestion is darragh from the chase he cracks me up. now, random people smartypants and otherwise i think would kill the format hmmm okay besides joe and roisin who mean everything to me, guz khan, lucy beaumont, prof. hannah fry, ed gamble, chloe petts, mel giedroyc, vic reeves, claudia, matt forde? could be quite funny actually and i think guy would laugh at him a lot?, ahir shah, jess hynes, nish kumar, judi love, johnny vegas, jamie laing, jessica knappett, sara barron, kerry godliman, fatiha el-ghorri, ivo graham, get william hanson on there why not

🚨 danny dyer, susie dent, catherine tate, alan carr 🚨 HANDS DOWN!!!

don't you think this format would be perfect for chris addison to come back into our panel show lives

and omg mark watson because remember when guy was having a lil go at him 😭😭😭💀💀💀

CUZ THAT IS VERY IMPORTANT guy is the host and he needs to think the guests are funny... hmm who would have a hilarious dynamic with guy...well...everyone😁 guy is the best😁

it makes sense, too, that some of the funniest dynamics on a format like cats does countdown would work on guy mont spelling bee, since it's all about being a lil smarty — so russell howard and roisin on the same panel would be great because she does her best and he takes the piss out of her. people who take the piss out of each other...hmm...fatiha el-ghorri and phil wang lmfao...alan carr and romesh one of my underrated faves...frankie boyle and miles jupp would be so good omg

I SHOULD STOP NOW hehehe sorry for the block of text i answered this stream of consciousness i hope you don't mind heheheheh

what about you??

aww what a cute question 🥰 honestly i do associate it with autumn because it often comes out in september/october (so i think of it as part of the fall tv schedule)! but, really, i associate different series with different seasons? like i think of s7 as being winter time because kerry made that big circle in the snow hahaha that kind of thing! it wouldn't surprise me if a lot of people think of taskmaster + summer tho?

omg i love map men they're so funny

thanks for taking the time to send in these other recs i'll check them out 🥹🫶 posting these for everyone else to enjoy too!!!

i haven't seen either yet!!! how are they? they're both on my drive waiting for me to watch them 🥹 i might watch ahir's tonight

sorry anon i don't, only the epub version is easily available 😞 maybe someone reading this will be able to help out?

someone sent it over!! i added it to the drive :)<3

hello anon yes! i threw it in the alex horne collection folder here it is :)

hello! you're not the first person to ask me this but i really don't think you can! as far as i know there is no proshot, it was never streamed in cinemas, never streamed online... someone can correct me if i'm wrong but :(

i think we just missed seeing it at the actual theatre (▱˘︹˘▱)

—

PANEL SHOW WATCH LINKS / NON-PANEL SHOW WATCH LINKS FAQ / TAGS / ASK

[clumsiestgiantess]

Part two of Takeover Scenario Future! @goblinunderabridge, @entomolog-t, and everyone else who enjoyed part one, here it is!

(part one here)

Running to the bathroom door, I tried to turn the handle, but it was locked from the inside.  I could hear small pained groans coming from behind it.  “Julie!  What are you doing to him?!” I yelled from outside.  She didn’t answer me.  I waited a good half-hour sitting against the bathroom door.  They were talking to eachother in there — speaking in whatever strange language the survivors spoke.  Finally, the bathroom door opened.  I nearly fell backwards inside.  “Can you get off the floor, please?” she asked me, voice back to being mildly annoyed and normal.  “I need you to tell me what exactly you thought you were doing taking Mason for a joyride on your bike.”

I hadn’t really processed any of what she told me.  My mind was drawn to the survivor.  He sat on the side of the sink with bloody cotton balls surrounding him.  His pant leg had been cut off to make way for a bandage that covered his whole leg.  A broken rod of plastic was wrapped up in it, too — preventing it from bending.  Zoning back in, I recognized something about what my sister said.  “Wait.. Mason?  Who’s Mason?”  Julie exhaled tiredly, pressing a few fingers to her temples.  “Mason is your little friend here.  Well, technically his name is Nosam, but I think you’ll do better with the English version.”  At the sound of the strange name, Bandit — or not Bandit — looked up at us.

“Now please, what were you doing that made him jump out?  Was he trying to get away from you?”  Guiltily, I thought back to how he’d struggled against me when I placed him in the bike basket.  “Yeah, he tried.. before I got on the bike.. but he was just a bit scared!  Once I brought him back and showed him his new home, I thought he would stop!”  I stepped over to Mason, leaning down to look at his injury, but he scrambled away wide-eyed.  Disappointedly, I backed off.  “He’s.. still scared of me,” I realized.

“Well no shit he’s scared of you!” Julie suddenly spat, voice hostile again.  “He doesn’t understand what you’re saying, and you’re not trying to comfort him at all!”  “But shouldn’t he know I’m not going to hurt him?  I’m not a monster!” I countered.  “Well, to him, you are.  You’re more intelligent than anything else he has to be afraid of — capable of doing so much worse to him than an animal that just wants to eat him and be done with it.  Our kind trapped his kind here.  All survivors are either angry at us or scared of us at first because of that.  And I don’t blame them.”

The room was silent for a while as the thought sunk in.  “Sorry, Ritch, I didn’t mean to yell at you.  I mean, I did, just not that much.”  Julie glanced over at the survivor.  He quickly turned away like he hadn’t been watching.  “They’re not pets, Ritchie.  They’re people.  Just like us.  You can’t just carry one off and expect them to be calm about it.  That’s kidnapping.”  “But..” I stammered, “I just wanted to give him a home.”  A slight smile appeared on Julie’s face.  “I know.  But Mason didn’t, and you scared him enough to think that jumping off your bike to get away would be safer than whatever you had in store for him.”

I glanced guiltily at the guy sitting on our sink.  “Sorry.”  “Eh syas s’eh yrros,” she told the survivor, “Ym rehtorb tsuj detnaw ot evig uoy a ecalp ot yats.”  Mason looked up at her, then turned to me.  He didn’t seem as scared, just a bit wary.  “What’d you say?”  “I told him what you told me.  That you’re sorry and you were just trying to help.”  I nodded, then turned to her suddenly.  “Wait, Julie, how do you speak survivor?  How do you know all this stuff about them?”

“Oh!” she gasped, “That’s kind of a long story, actually.  Let’s head to my room.  We don’t want Mom finding them inside.”  I nodded, “Remember the one in the attic?”  “Mhm.  She tried to kill it.”  She had, but my sister had stopped her.

Julie gestured for Mason to settle between her hands so she could take him where he needed to go.  “Wait, can I carry him?” I asked her hesitantly.  “I promise I’ll be gentler.  I- I want him to know that I can be more careful.”  She spoke to Mason and turned to me.  “It’s his decision, not mine.”

The survivor looked at me intently — thinking hard.  He said something decisively and Julie nodded.  Then, he pointed to me.  “Well, he chose you,” she told me with a nudge, “Better make up for that first impression.”  With that, she slid out of the bathroom and waited by the doorway to the next room over.  Gently, I held out my hands for Mason like I saw my sister do.  He tenderly got up, avoiding his injured leg as best as he could.  

The feeling was even stranger than picking him up in my fist.  His weight caused my hands to dip lower as he sat down in them, glancing up at me with a pensive expression.  I lifted him, and his grip tightened on my thumbs, which were almost like armrests to him.  “Sorry for scaring you earlier,” I told him remorsefully, “I won’t do any of that again; I promise.”  Mason gave me a small reassuring smile, squeezing the pad of my thumb just a bit tighter.

When I made it to the doorway, Julie nodded and told me the coast was clear.  I followed her upstairs to our room — taking the long way around the house to avoid getting caught by our mother.  Mason gawked at the surrounding rooms and furniture.  Briefly, I wondered why.  His world apparently had the same types of things that this one did.  However, they weren’t nearly as gigantic.

Once we were safe in Julie’s room behind a locked door, she told me I could put Mason down gently on her dresser, which had been cleaned off since she’d returned from college for the summer.  The little survivor eased off of me; I helped him get his balance before fully releasing him.  He was still slightly wary of me, though.  I’d kept my hands close around him so he couldn’t fall over, and he flinched so badly at the sight that he nearly did fall.  I swear I’m not grabbing you, man, I thought remorsefully.  I’m really sorry I did.

I turned to Julie to ask what to do next, but she’d ducked down beside her bed.  “Ellie!  You can come out now; it’s safe!  There’s.. a few people I’d actually like you to meet.”  My mouth dropped open as a survivor slid out from beneath her bed.  She froze when she saw me, stepping slowly backwards without taking her eyes off mine.  “Ronele, this is-”  “Your brother.  I know.  What is he doing here?”  

Holy…  That survivor just spoke.  In my language.  I gawked, stepping forward slightly, “Y- You speak English?”  “She does,” Julie replied, “I taught her, just like she taught me her language.”  “How?”  She shrugged, “How do you learn any other language?  Practice and trial-and-error mostly.  A lot of gestures, too.”  I shook my head.  “No, I mean, how did you like.. befriend a survivor?”

Before she could answer, the survivor tapped her leg, backing up until she was safely against it.  “Jul, seriously, why is he here?”  The new survivor’s voice held a rather strange accent, but even with it I could still hear the hard fear in her voice.  Why did my presence suddenly put everyone on edge?  I had never hurt one of their kind — never trapped one or locked one in a cage like I’d seen others do.  Then again.. it’s kind of what Julie had told me.  I was still perfectly capable of doing all of that.  And even if I don’t do those kinds of awful things, there are enough people in the world who do for them to be wary of me regardless.  Suddenly, my earlier interactions with Mason made a lot more sense.

At the survivor’s fearful question, my sister nodded to the desk where Mason stood.  He looked possibly even more shocked than I had.  “He finally took someone home.”  The survivor crossed her arms, “I told you he would.”  Julie sighed, “He did it to help him, though.  Isn’t that right?”  She gave me a pointed look and I nodded vigorously.  With one gesture, the survivor, Ellie or.. whatever name my sister called her earlier, called down a pair of cupped hands and slid into them easily.  It was mesmerizing.  The little being did it so effortlessly, as if she stepped into people’s hands all the time.  Actually, she probably did.

Julie lifted the survivor to wherever she pointed, and let her off on the desk beside Mason.  It was then that I realized one of her legs was plastic.  Her right leg from just above the kneecap down was missing, and had been replaced with a modified doll’s leg that was similar in color to her skin.  The survivor gave me a strong sideways glance — probably because I was unknowingly staring at her — then began to speak with the other survivor in their own language.

“So,” I said uncertainly after a moment, turning to Julie.  “How do you two know eachother?”  “That’s the long story,” she said, sitting on the side of her bed and patting the other side of it.  I sat where she wanted me, and she began.

“It was actually the year before I moved out.  I was on a jog when I found Ronele.  Well, in English it’s technically Elenor, but I usually use the other one or..  Nevermind.  Just call her Elenor.  That’ll be easiest for you.”  She sighed, “Where was I?  Right.  When I found her, she was lying on the side of the road.  A car had hit her a little while before I arrived, and I thought she’d died.”

The conversation between the survivors abruptly stopped.  Elenor turned to us with a pensive expression.  “Did you want to tell it?” Julie asked her.  She shook her head, but made the same gesture as before.  My sister got up and scooped her up kinda like I’d picked up Mason at the park, only gentler — more practiced.  When she returned to her bed, Elenor settled in on her lap, making it look like the most comfortable seat in the room.  I glanced back at Mason, still on the table.  “Do you want to come over, too?”  Julie translated for him, and he nodded slightly.

In the same way I brought him upstairs, I brought Mason to the bed — in two carefully-cupped hands.  I tried placing him in front of me, but he slid away and sat in his own spot between me and Julie.  I was slightly disappointed, but I understood why.  Once everyone was settled, the story began again.  “Well, obviously Elenor was in really bad shape when I first found her.  Thankfully only her leg had been run over, but it was still awful.  You know how I worked as an intern at the vet clinic in town?” I nodded.  “The practice came in handy.  That day I had to-”  She paused and glanced down at the little being in her lap, gripping one of my sister’s hands tightly to herself.  “Let’s just say.. it wasn’t pretty.  Elenor was furious with me for a long time afterward.”

“For saving her life?” I asked, stunned.  “Yes,” the survivor quipped, “When you have to be in almost perfect physical form just to survive, losing a limb is a death sentence.  I was angry with her because I knew whenever she put me back I was just going to get picked off by something.  I would’ve rather got the dying part over with rather than dragging it out.”  “But then I got you this,” Julie added, gently tapping her plastic leg.  The survivor calmed and nodded.  “While she healed, Elenor learned a bit of English to communicate with me.  And then while she went through physical therapy of sorts with her new leg, she began teaching me Hsilgne.  Her language.”

“And I was right there,” I glanced at the door, “on the other side of the hall.  I never knew.”  “We didn’t want you to,” Elenor told me curtly.  “We didn’t want anyone to find out,” Julie amended.  “By the time Elenor had a working leg, we’d become such close friends that we knew she wasn’t leaving.  She’s stayed with me since.  She came with me to college, and lives with me in my apartment.  I’ve been helping survivors ever since the year I met her, though.  They’ve started coming to me on their own now that I have my own place.”

My sister is a doctor for survivors.  How do I not know this?!  “Can you show me how to keep one?” I asked her, “If you’ve been doing it for years, you can help me start collecting them, too!”  Elenor said something angry-sounding in her language and Julie cringed.  “I.. don’t think that’s a good idea.  I told you, they’re not pets, you don’t keep one.  You offer to let them live with you, like a roommate, and if they say yes, then you can start thinking about helping them.

“And that’s a big if!” Elenor chimed in, “Most of my kind — if they had any sense whatsoever — would say ‘no’ in a heartbeat.”  I glanced at Mason.  Before I could say anything, Elenor asked him something harshly.  He looked confused — almost scared — of being confronted so suddenly.  His gaze flickered around between all of us, then landed intently on me; I tried to look as harmless as I could.  Finally, he spoke.  Elenor looked a bit miffed at his reply, and my sister nodded.  “He says that if you were able to understand him, and you two could talk to eachother like me and Elenor do, he actually wouldn’t mind staying here.”

Mason spoke a bit more, “I yllaer t’nod kniht ruoy rehtorb si a dab tnaig.  Eh- Eh did pleh em elpitlum semit dna I sseug eh dah doog snoitnetni neve nehw eh debbarg em.  Fi eh dluoc tsuj.. dnatsrednu, d’I eb yppah ot evil ereh.  Ohw t’ndluow?  S’ti a citnagig efas ecalp taht sah yllacisab detimilnu doof, dna si deretlehs morf eht rehtaew, htiw a etammoor ohw nac teg uoy tuo fo yna elbuort uoy thgim teg otni.  D’I ekil ot yats fi m’I emoclew, tub fi uoy dluoc tsuj hcaet mih hguone rof mih ot dnatsrednu, I nac hcaet mih eht tser.”

My sister nodded, “I nac hcaet mih.  Fi uoy yllaer tnaw ot yats, tsuj wonk uoy dluohs diova ruo rehtom.  Fi uoy thguoht s’Ritchie gniwonknu edutitta sdrawot uoy saw dab, neht uoy od ton tnaw ym rehtom gnidnif uoy.  Ehs si ekil emos fo eht lufwa sromur.”  Mason nodded dutifully.  I suddenly felt so out-of place.  Everyone in the room could understand this new language — knew what the conversation was about — even if Elenor didn’t seem to approve of it.  Only I had no clue what was being said.  Out of everything, I vaguely recognized my name, but that was all.

“Wait, Mason, you want to stay with me?” I asked surprisedly, a smile growing on my face.  He nodded, trying to stand back up, but between the uneven surface of the bed and his injured leg, he only got halfway before whispering something that sounded like a curse under his breath and sat back down.  “If you’re up for learning a new language over the summer, I’m sure you two will get along surprisingly well,” my sister said, “He thinks a lot like you.”  She gestured to Mason.  “Really?” I asked, looking down at him.  The survivor tilted his head to look up at me slightly.

“But just remember,” my sister told me, “They are not pets.  They’re people.  You treat that kid nicely, or so help me I will take him far away from you, understand?”  I nodded fervently, “Yeah!  I understand!”  Julie looked me over skeptically and Elenor asked: “Do you?”  

I turned to look down at the survivor I’d found earlier.  Originally, I didn’t understand.  I’d looked at him and saw a little mimic creature from another world — an oddity that only looked like a person, but wasn’t actually anything like one.  I mean, they’re barely a foot long, they scavenge around like little animals, and they live in colonies out in the woods.  It seemed obvious they weren’t people.  That was until I was reminded why they had to scavenge whatever we left behind, and hide away in places where humans weren’t around.  They are people — small people who couldn’t fight us for a place to live and had to go into hiding after losing the quick war we waged against them.

“I understand,” I said more firmly, reaching slowly for Mason.  He tensed, but held still as I lifted him up.  Keeping pressure off his leg, I helped him stand and walk across the sheets until he was beside me, leaning on my crossed legs to keep himself upright.  He looked up at me not only with a smile, but with a genuine understanding expression.  It was the first time he’d looked at me that way — with trust.  That look right there solidified it; there wasn’t a doubt in my mind that they’re people.  And I was going to make sure this one actually lived up to the name ‘survivor’.

Second part done!  Do y’all want part three to be a continuation, or a prequel?  (Either a continuation of Ritchie and Mason, or a backstory of Julie and Elenor’s first meeting)

[transpersian]

Poppy and SFW Spaces - Part 2: About that time that Poppy posted lewd furry art in a SFW channel...

The last time this came up, I didn't want to overwhelm what was already a big post, but now that this is coming up again, it's reminded me to post the follow-up conversation from the server.

Because you know that there was a follow-up conversation.

TLDR:

Two server members spoke up about how uncomfortable the post made them.

Poppy has a conversation where she disagrees in a troubling way, then steps aside to allow for a mod to handle the disagreement (to avoid conflicts of interest).

Saige, who Poppy has disclosed on-stream that she is an FP for, stepped in to essentially parrot whatever Poppy had said (to, you know, avoid conflicts of interest).

First off, I want to make it clear that Saige is in an entirely impossible situation. Please do not attack or judge her for her place in this situation. Instead, look at it my way: as proof of what nearly a year under Poppy's control will do to you.

Anyway.

I'm feeling spicy and like digging into something, so here's Poppy telling a minor that they're wrong for feeling uncomfortable over her shoving her fursona's sexually posed, barely clothed ass in their faces.

Then we're going to talk about their server rules and how the subject of minors and NSFW content is handled. I'm going to properly dig in here, so strap in [EDIT: we're at over 2100 words, so I'm serious].

The offending post and the initial response. Note how hard both of these people are trying to not piss anyone off.

~~~~~~~~~~

So... a few things.

Note the immediate defensiveness and invalidation. Describing what's clearly erotic art as "cute."

"I don't find those particularly spicy." The minors do, though

"They aren't actually showing anything so to me they are mostly just risque." IF IT'S RISQUE THEN WHY ARE YOU SHOWING IT TO MINORS

"There are even more explicit versions and I didn't post those, so that makes these fine." You can use relativity to justify anything. This is not a real argument. Pro tip: always be cautious of relativity when it's being used to argue against your feelings.

"We get into stuff that's NSFW on our streams and we don't restrict that." I'm pretty sure this isn't the own you think it is, Poppy. This is you telling on yourself.

And then...

"we expect people who come there to be mature, the same is true about the server"

I... hm.

Poppy (and Zena, #nozzerasure)...

1. Why do you expect people who come to your streams to be mature?

YOU HAVE LITERALLY NO CONTROL OVER THAT. It's a mental health political drama channel that gets suggested to people who watch similar content. If the statistics you shared a while back are still true, less than 2% of your audience is minors, but that's who marking your channel as mature is for.

Even ignoring the barely censored lewd art for now, you discuss a lot of really adult topics on your streams. These are the rules for a reason, Poppy, and you don't get to decide that they just don't apply to you. IF YOUR CHANNEL IS FOCUSED ON ADULT TOPICS YOU MARK IT AS "MATURE." FULL STOP.

You have ZERO CONTROL over who wanders into your channel. It isn't your decision as to whether your videos show up in front of minors. You are fucking wrong here.

Fix it, or leave it as more evidence of how little you actually care about protecting minors from adult content.

2. Why do you expect people who come to your server to be mature?

You explicitly position it as a place for vulnerable, traumatized, mentally ill, BPD (etc) queer people to go. You have stated that you want your community to be a safe place for the people from Lily Orchard's community to go once they're out. You know that that community contains a lot of minors, many of whom are there for content about cartoons. Why are you outright assuming that these people are mature enough to handle this content? Because if that was really a major priority for you, Poppy, I would think that the absurdly low bar of DON'T SHARE YOUR FUCKING LEWD ART IN SPACES WITH MINORS would be one you'd gladly clear to make sure that those people were entering a safe, friendly, non-sexualized space. You know, because a major problem with LO is her being unable to keep her fetishes and sexuality out of minor-inclusive spaces. I've been researching some things recently and you'd be surprised how deep the parallels go.

And on one last note about this one, I think it's really funny that Poppy tried to act like the other sections of the server are some big secret. "What separate area" come on, now. lol

~~~~~~~~~~

It's weird how she can't just wrap her head around the simple idea of not showing NSFW art in minor-inclusive spaces. This isn't a debate stream, Poppy. Where are you trying to take this conversation?

I do love how the other person calls out the problem with relativity right there. Hell yeah. Just because Hollywood's decided that that's okay to put on TV doesn't mean that I use it as a barometer to dictate what I think is appropriate. Poppy should know better than to use that as an excuse.

~~~~~~~~~~

Saige moderates!

First off, I want to reiterate and stress that Saige is in an entirely impossible situation. Note how she's basically just agreeing with Poppy. I was torn on whether to include who this mod is, but the context of her relationship with them is important to show just how much of a conflict of interest this is. Having your BPD partner, who you are an FP for, be a mod for situations like this?

What was that about conflicts of interest, Poppy? Why is Saige moderating your conflicts on the server, as a mod?

Can you imagine, as a person with BPD, being put in the position to moderate disagreements over your FP's inappropriate posts in the server that she owns?

Anyway.

Looking at these as Poppy's talking points because I don't trust that they didn't discuss this behind the scenes before Saige posted her "verdict."

1. "This isn't harmful for minors to see."

According to who?

2. "On this server, we don't shy away from difficult interactions."

This is pure, basic Foundation propaganda (Poppaganda, heh). They say this, but all you have to do is look at the receipts for my interactions with them to see just how good they are at dealing with conflict. "But that was personally in dating" yes, I know, but believe me, it goes far beyond that. It's just how they handle their personal affairs. I've seen and have extensive evidence for it, I just can't share it yet.

3. "You are responsible to some degree for managing your interactions with an environment."

This is one of those abuses of therapy-speak. Poppy and Zena have been increasingly weaponizing certain definitions, particularly the notion of "boundaries." While boundaries are by definition things that you can state will be your response to specific actions and circumstances, you only have to look at Poppy's Twitter right now to see how that works out in practice.

~~~~~~~~~~

So what kind of expectations do PZ create for this environment?

Well, what is "Safe" versus the other categories, anyway?

Okay. Not explicitly for minors, fair enough. But let's check their server rules.

Solid start. What does that link to?

Oh, okay. Let's go over these.

~~~~~~~~~~

1) No minors in NSFW areas.

Serves to assume that no NSFW content is allowed in SFW spaces. Oh wait. About that first part.

And while one can assume that the person can still be locked out of chats that are specifically NSFW, this area of the server is a space where more NSFW conversations take place, including in VCs (which they clearly are, seeing as they're actively involved in the "reply to voice" chat in the background). There's no avoiding that unless the rules of the space itself change.

Oh wait. Also. About that second part. There's plenty in my previous post, but here's another fun one from last year that someone sent me today.

Maybe they changed the header in the year since, but uh... yeah. It's still in Safe, where there are minors. To be fair, the images were spoilered, but uh... yeah. Again, this is in the "Safe," minors-present category.

Anyway.

~~~~~~~~~~

2) People 23 and older can't act inappropriately towards minors. Check age roles to see if this is okay.

This comes across as weird for number of reasons. For one, this isn't something that should just apply to minors and 23+; anyone who feels uncomfortable with an interaction should be reporting it to the mods.

For another, while it makes sense to warn people that there are minors in the server and to mind themselves accordingly, why is the age gap specified like that? Why does it make a difference if they're 23 or 20? If they're making a minor uncomfortable, it's a problem!

I could say more, but it's just... weird.

~~~~~~~~~~

As for 3...

I want to first talk about that last bit because I know she'll be offended at the very suggestion that it isn't true; I truly do believe that Poppy believes that this is true. Unfortunately, wanting to do something and believing you do something and actually doing that thing are very different things.

But let's talk about this age difference thing again.

Take a moment and think about this: whose perspective is this from?

At what point does someone start "considering the power dynamics in the age difference" when they're interacting with a 22 year old? Maybe it's something to consider if you're over 30, but I wouldn't blink at a 24 year old dating a 20 year old.

So whose perspective(s) (#nozzerasure) are the age-based categorizations of "old enough to date question mark" designed for?

~~~~~~~~~~

Their stance on TWs/CWs

One last thing that I thought was curious...

They specifically have a section of their rules that discusses trigger/content warnings. This is what it says:

Notice how the two things that are marked as things that should be spoilered are violence and actual spoilers for media.

Most servers I've seen either have NSFW stuff specifically sequestered to NSFW spaces, or they spoil NSFW stuff. Why wouldn't this server do that?

Oh. Right.

~~~~~~~~~~

So what's my point?

What's all of this ultimately mean?

Firstly, I need to stress how NONE OF THIS IS EVIDENCE OF POPPY PURSUING MINORS IN "THAT" WAY. While her behavior is certainly concerning and inappropriate, I will not abide by any p*do-jacketing. If you're making any accusations like that, you'd better be bringing evidence, or at least a testimony.

Mainly, what this points to is a troubling pattern of behavior as far as her understanding of appropriate boundaries around sexual content. This directly impacts her ability to create truly SFW safe spaces for minors, especially minors who are emotionally/psychologically vulnerable or seeking refuge from sexually charged spaces.

Some of them may like being treated like adults, but that's not the point. The point is that it's not up to them. These are the rules for a reason.

Poppy, you may not believe that the rules should be this way, but please stop being so fucking stubborn. You're endangering minors with this behavior. All people are asking of you on this front is to be more restrained with your sexual stuff (including the "risque" stuff) in spaces where there are minors present.

Just exercise a little bit of self-control for the sake of making your server the safe space that you work so hard to convince people (including minors) that it is.

~~~~~~~~~~

ADDENDUM

HOLY SHIT THEY CLARIFIED IT

"Safe is only for friendly conversations about up to PG-13 topics."