#like okay i guess theyre cute or whatever

[gunsatthaphan]

"I'm not tired."

[ivysprophecy]

slim pickins

warnings; bad date? mentions of sex, cursing underage drinking and yes i meant for it to be written poorly i was trying to keep the humor of the album in the writing

masterlist | p. 2

no pressure tags; @murdockcastleslut @kimoralov3 @arkofblake

word count; 1911

summary; youre tired of not finding a decent guy who will treat you right and lay you right. at least not one you've known since you were kids. however you just cant help yourself. besides its slim pickins out here you take what you can get.

divider by @bernardsbendystraws

i wanna make one thing clear, when i say there are no good guys left i do not wanna hear about you and your boyfriend of three years that can cook and loves your mom.

thats exactly what im talking about maddie!!! i dont give two fucks that he took you to barnes and noble and bought you every book you wanted.

they are all taken. its plain and simple.

which is why even with a full roster, im stuck taking fucking zander, yes with a z, to my friends' kegger.

i mean yea hes cute. hes tall, built but not that gross kind of muscly. but if were being real i shouldve known better when he was joking about being a male stripper when hes a ginger.

and i can tell kie is judging me, rightfully so. her side eye is lethal. when i introduced him to everyone she asked him about his greta van fleet tee and he said he didn't even know it was a band.

needless to say pope had to drag her away.

after that incident i decided it was best if we tried to talk away from the rest of the group. boy was i wrong.

"so what do you like to drink? ill go grab us something," i offer trying to start the conversation, also avoiding the usual problem with taking a drink from men.

"im good with whatever"

i like to think im not a violent person, but im about to be.

"does a beer sound okay?" i ask him grabbing a twisted tea for me from the cooler.

"sure thing." god why is he acting like such a bitch? i should ask him if he's on his period.

i hand him the can, our fingers brush and its my final clue for the night that i am definitely not going home with him. no spark at all. hes done just about everything else to piss me off.

he did the thing where he licks his lips exaggeratingly looking me up and down, making a point to make sure i saw.

he walks so slow for being 6'3.

and finally he tried to mansplain my career to me. i'd had just enough when he opens his mouth again

"ew, you like twisted tea? who likes sweet tea?" his face contorted in disgust, it was about to contort from my fist breaking his goddamn nose if he keeps talking to me like this.

"we literally live in the south dude." my face could not make it any clearer i am so done with this guy.

"still, sweet tea is disgusting. im not kissing anyone that drinks that nasty shit."

"who said i wanted to kiss your nasty fucking mou-" i was interrupted by the sound of a very familiar giggle behind me as his arm wrapped around my shoulder, the smell of his deodorant and sea salt that cover his skin start to put you at ease.

jj was always there when you needed him, sometimes even when you didnt but right now you couldn't be more grateful. "im glad you found those mama i got em just for you. remembered theyre your favorite. right?"

and you wanna know the best part? zander is shaking already pissed off that jj is at my side. territorial i guess.

"you mind?" he asks him nodding his head at me like im not even there.

jj cant help but laugh at him "yea bud i do mind. she's hanging out with me tonight. have fun with your ipa dick." and with that he steers us off to where the rest of the pogues are.

but not before i can look over my shoulder and give the ginger an innocent smile and a shrug as if i had no control over the situation, when really id pick jj over anyone else.

"you owe me a big fat kiss mama," jj whispers in my ear walking us over to where our friends are standing, drinks in their hands laughing and chatting up a storm.

"in your dreams honey."

"every night all night," he quips back before i shove him off me.

now before you give me shit, jj and i have had our fair share of fun, but unfortunately im starting to look for something more serious.

watching john b and sarah be disgusting together is getting to my head. popes got something going on with cleo and im starting to recognize the pattern. and before i know it everyone will be in love if i don't start making an effort in that department.

random casual hook ups aren't doing it anymore, especially considering they aren't even that good.

unless theyre with jj.

but hes not an option, theres too much drama. too much history. too much too much too much. im not what he needs and i know for a fact he doesn't want me in that sense.

is that a bit dramatic? probably.

i mean hes a great lay, he's hilarious, he's got that blue collar kind of muscle, and he genuinely cares about me.

so of course im not going to date him, why would i?

what do you mean make good decisions? id rather do things in the most difficult way possible!

"y/n youve gotta stop giving those guys a chance, im starting to feel bad for you."

"you try finding a decent guy in a ten mile radius." i glare at him, obviously not wanting to joke about this right now.

he sticks his hand out in front of me, "fine i will. let me see your phone."

curious to see what he will do i hand it too him unlocked, he swipes and taps for a few moments, smiling down at the phone before handing it back to you.

when you look back down at the screen all you see is your instagram open with his stupid fucking smiley face on the screen.

he took a picture of himself and posted to my story. written on the screen in bubble letters in my favorite colored heart 'my favorite guy <3'

"i think he's your best bet." that same smile facing back at me now, cockier than ever. so smug i wanna kiss it off his face

i cant help but roll my eyes. "jj im serious! at this rate im going to die alone. every decent guy is taken or unavailable. all i want is someone funny, kind, and attractive is that too much to ask for?"

"im right in front of you mama you dont gotta look far."

"jj we both know we're not the serious kind of relationship im talking about."

"you can think what you want too but ill be here waiting for that kiss you owe me."

"i think all that tequila youve been sipping has gone to your head maybank."

he stands in front of me, taking his signature red cap off his head and putting it on mine smiling down at me, "what do they say in those books you read? you wear the hat you ride the cowboy?"

"this no ten gallon hat and you are no cowboy."

we laugh at each other, its always been easier to do that then actually talk about our feelings. so i put his hat back on his head, backwards the way he i likes it.

"cmon y/n/n, have a few more drinks, relax and hang out and ill make you feel all better later yea? its what im best at, you know."

"its gonna take more than a few more teas to convince me jj"

"what about that thing you like that i do with my tongue, huh mama? doesnt that sound pretty good right now? i think it does."

"i give you one fucking compliment and it goes straight to your head."

"technically its about my head so that makes perfect sense," he hands me another can with that stupid signature smirk of his and his stupid sexy hat backwards. i hate to admit it's working on me.

just like it does every other time.

i squint my eyes at him taking the can, rolling the idea around in my head. "fuck it. its not like anyone else is offering," i take a big sip of my drink.

jj pumps his fist in the air like a victorious idiot giving a few woots and hollars before picking me up and throwing me over his shoulder despite my wishes.

"jb!!" he shouts turning around to face him, "we're headed out!"

john b looks at the two of us shaking his head at how im kicking my feet to wiggle out of jjs oddly strong grip. "make sure you change the sheets when youre done!"

oh my god he did not just say that. "fuck both of you!"

jj just laughs carrying you back to the chateau like a kid who's excited to use a brand new birthday present.

"what happened to letting me have a few more drinks before we left??"

"youre just too irresistable mama, gotta have you now,' he gives my ass a light slap for good measure causing me to roll my eyes for the 600th time tonight.

"are you gonna put me down now?"

he pretends to look like hes thinking about it, "i guess. only so i can watch you walk away," he does as he says helping me get my feet on the ground.

"youre a pervert."

"no im flirtatious, and you love it, you know it makes you blush i see it. now go on and give me a lil walk yea?"

oh im gonna kill him...

oh wait! im gonna kill him!

"okay... fine. but no touching until we get home," i smile walking away exactly like he asked, but i know behind me he is a puddle of mud. standing still, about to start begging me to let him.

he finally catches up after a few seconds "mama please- cmon thats not fair. you look too good in those shorts you know i cant wait that long. just wanna feel you."

i cant help but giggle at his words, its honestly adorable how mopey he gets. like i just kicked his puppy or something.

"hands of jj i mean it... not until that door shuts behind us."

it didn't really matter that i can see the chateau or that ill be there in literally a minute.

its actually painful for jj to not be able to touch me as he pleases.

i turn around to face him with a cheeky smile. "you want me maybank?"

and of course he nods so hard it looks like his head is going to fall right off.

"come and get me," running towards the house, i can see the moment when his reflexes kick in, his boots thudding against the ground as he gains on me.

just before i can make it to the poarch jj wraps his arms around me, lifting me a few inches off the ground and spinning me around in a fit of laughter.

"okay! okay okay okay you win- you got me."

"oh ive got you mama, and im havin you for the rest of the fucking night," he presses a kiss to my neck hauling me inside, the screen door slamming shut after us.

am i gonna regret this tomorrow? most likely.

but what can i say? its slim pickins in this part of town.

[oclovingmaniac]

EPIC - The Musical LIVE BLOG (bc I've never done one of these)

Damn okay vocals from Odysseus

THEY WANT HIM TO KILL A CHILD???

Yeah don't do it bro just raise him as your kids brother or smt

Okay he actually did it goddamn

Oh they hungry

Polites is such a little cutie omg I love him❤️❤️❤️

THE LITTLE CUTIE GOT TUNES OKAY POLITES I SEE YOU!!

I better see Polites with a lover at the end of these and they better greet him with open arms

Okay the lotus eaters are really cute

Never mind they're a hive mind okay😭

OH OKAY ATHENA OKAYYYY (Lil biased cus I'm a worshipper of her but whatever)

Ooooh sheep okay, I've seen this part specifically. Poor cyclops guy.

DONT GIVE THE CYCLOPS WINE???

Hear me out, maybe just flee the cave and don't fight the big ass bitch??

POLITES NO!!! WHAT THE FUCK!? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK I HATE THIS I HATE THIS, FUCK YOU EPIC DIE KILL THE CYCLOPS IMMEDIATELY

Yeah die you stupid one eyed bitch and stay thay way fucker. I hate the cyclops. Fuck the cyclops man.

Hell yeah Odysseus remember them indeed. Mainly Polites.

Oh damn there's more of the big fuckers oh no

Oh wait the cyclops is lonely. Wait they left him and he went "Don't go" why the fuck does my heart hurt now. Fuck this musical man😭

Odysseus, my guy, you can't just say NO to Athena???😭😭

OKAY ODY GET IT BUDDY

THE INFAMOUS ODYSSEUS HELL YEAH

Why did the cyclops smile that was so fucking creepy.💀

Okay back to Athena hell yes.

Okay a little harsh girlie, you can't blame him for getting emotional there.

OKAY DON'T INSULT HER DUDE???

Oh damn the girls are fighting guys just hug it out please🙄

JESUS ODY THATS A BIT MUCH???

Valid crash out Athena😭

They'll talk it out don't worry guys😔

Oooh "Storm" okay

Is Poseidon about to fuck them over?😭

OH THESE VOCALS ARE HEAVENLYYY

STOOOOOORRRM (STOOOOOORRRRMMM)

Eurydice be positive omfg yall have dealt with enough death

Yall really about to shoot the fucking sky???💀

Ohhh there was an island okay I wasn't paying attention my bad yall

Oh wind god? Okay fun.

EURYDICE SHUT UP MAN POLITES WOULD NOT APPRECIATE THIS

Oh okay okay

How much longer till yo luck runs out duh duh duhduh vibe okay

Okay I get Eurydice's concern now I shouldn't have shit talked I'm sorry everybody deals with grief differently I guess😭

NOT THE FUCKING POLITES FLASH BACK ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE ME JUMP OUT MY BEDROOM WINDOW AT HALF TEN AT NIGHT????

Oh shit the passive aggressiveness

"I need to talk to you in private" Ooooooh Eurydice's in troubleeeee

Shit bro fr getting scolded below the decks right now😭

Oh the flute love that okay

Aeolis? How do you spell it???

OH SHIT HES A SHE??

I love her.

AWE THE LITTLE LOTUS EATERS AWEEEEE

Lmao this animator drew the lotus eaters twerking💀

Okay I really fuck with Aeolis (I do not know how to spell her name and I refus to use subtitles)

DAMN THE LOTUS EATERS ARE SHIT STIRRERS😭😭😭 "It's treasure!" "...what?" "Buh-bye!"

THE WAY HE HAS TO TALK TO THEM LIKE THEYRE KIDS DUDE💀 I love them bro

Shit they arguing😔

Okay they're almost home great wonderful awesome cool. And they all lived happily ever after and no one opened the bag.

For the love of fucking God don't open the bag PLEASE.

ODYSSEUS STAY AWAKE FOR FUCK SAKE. PLEASE.

MORON.

THEY TIED HIM TO THE FUCKING BOAT??? DUDE??? YALL ARE WARRIORS YOU CANNOT BE THIS STUPID COME ON😭😭😭

WHAT. THE. FUCK. DID. HE. TELL. YOU???

EURYDICE YOURE HIS SECOND IN COMMAND SURELY YOU TRIED TO STOP THEM OR SOMETHING??? FUCKING IDIOTS.

OH SHIT ITS POSEIDON YALL ARE SO FUCKED-

Oh damn he's yelling lemme turn this shit down.

Damn bro really just tryna chill with the waves and yall pissed him off because you're IMPULSIVE FUCKING BUFFOONS-

Shit the cyclops is Poseidons kid??? You guys are actually already dead write yo damn wills😭

RUTHLESSNESS IS MERCY UPON OURSELVESSSSS

I may have a crush on EPIC Poseidon...

Hey the sea man (with tentacles I may add) has got a point and I would listen to him if I were you I'm just saying like I'm totally not biased or anything because he's hot that's ridiculous-

Bro really would've preferred if he just offed his son omg😭

His vocals are fire tho fr

Oh damn the rest of his men are about to die aren't they😭

I FUCKING KNEW IT DAMMIT POSEIDON

Okay at least it wasn't all of then I guess?😭

OH DAMN HE STABBED THE WINDBAG OKAY-

Yeah okay that was such a smart move but also Ody you're such a little shit and it's hilarious😭🙏

Oh where the fuck are we now

Eurydice shut the fuck up nobody said you could speak be quiet.

HIS NAME IS EURYLICHUS? I GOT HIS NAME WRONG THE WHOLE TIME? FUCK SAKE MAN

Yeah no shut the fuck up baldy (that's what I'm calling him from now on cus fuck yall)

TELL ME MORE MEN DIDNT ACTUALLY JUST DIE MAN😭

Yall just... entered a random Palace because the voice sounded pretty??? NO WONDER ODY TALKS TO THEM LIKE THEYRE CHILDREN ITS BECAUSE THEY FUCKING ARE😭

"A woman😔" "...what-" Bro is so done with baldy and so am I honestly-

Ody is APPALLED at how easy it is to grasp these stupid men bro😭

LMAO SHES SO ICONIC WAIT I LOVE HER

Also you cannot tell me baldy was the only one to stand there skeptical I refus to believe that.

STOP I LOVE CIRCE WTF SHES SO ICONIC

SHE TURNED THEM INTO PIGS LMAO WHAT A DIVA

Baldy shut up bro.

HERMES YAY HERMES IS HERE

STOP I LOVE HERMES VOCALS AND THIS SOMG IS SUCH A BOP WHAT- THEY DID MY BRO PROUD IM SURE

HIS VOCALS ARE INCREDIBLE DUDE I CANTTTT

Did Hermes actually just get Odysseus high???😭

Hermes is just there for the drama bro. What. A. Queen.

"REVEAL THEIR TRUE FORMS" SHES SUCH AN ICON BRO I LOVE HER

The way she knew this was Hermes doing those two have beef I guarantee it😭

ODY LEAVE CIRCE ALONE SHE'S JUST TRYNA PROTECT HER NYMPHS DUDE

THEYRE LIKE HER DAUGHTERS??? ODY JUST LEAVE BRO😭😭😭

IS SHE ACTUALLY ABOUT TO TRY AND SEDUCE HIM TO SAVE THE NYMPHS FUCK MAN I LOVE HER

Okay if there's one thing I knew before listening to this it's that Odysseus like refuses to cheat on Penelope so I'm not worried rn

Hell yeah we love loyal men- NOT HIM SITTING NEXT TO CIRCE LIKE SHES A FUCKING THERAPIST BRO I CANT😭

I'm gonna pause and assume she keys them go with absolutely no catch whatsoever and then Ody gets home with no further issues the end. THE. END. PLEASE. IM DYING.

Damn okay R.I.P to the prophet I guess😭

DONT SEND HIM TO THE FUCKING UNDERWORLD BRO- WITH HIS LUCK??? HES FUCKED DONT DO THAT-

Awe she was in love?😭

I KNEW WE COULD FUCK WITH CIRCE MAN I LOVE HER

Let's hope they fucking listen this time man, especially in the fucking underworld???

Yall ever go to the airport when you were younger so your mom would scare you into staying near her so you wouldn't wander off? Yeah that's what Ody should do here.

Damn bro is being YELLED AT

YOU CANT SPRONG A DEAD POLITES ON ME LIKE THAT MAN ILL FUCKING SOB AGAIN I MEAN IT IM A WEAK BOY PLEASE

(I doubt Polites would be in the underworld, he'd probably be in the Elysian fields but fucking whatever man ignore me)

DO NOT FUCKING BRING HIS MOTHER INTO THIS-

WAIT SHES DEAD?? OH MY FUCKING GOD DUDE-

You've got me sobbing in the middle of my bedroom at that "Bye mom" Jorge I hope you fucking know that. You're paying for my therapy.

OKAY NOW YOURE YELLING??? SHUT UP-

Do we meet the prophet now-

We do yay.

Oh he's cute as fuck wait-

Bro is just refusing to help okay😭

Okay if you can predict all that could you not have maybe predicted all the current bullshit going on and maybe idk WARNED US?? Sorry I shouldn't talk about politics my bad🙄

But my guy is actually just refusing to cooperate what a diva

"WHO?" Bro take a wild fucking guess Ody-

Okay I no longer fuck with the prophet. He may be a diva but he's also a bitch so-

Ody: "It's me, hi. I'm the problem, it's me."

R.I.P Ody you would've loved Tay Tay

THANK YOU ODY YOU FINALLY UNDERSTAND THE NECESSARY KILLINGS FUCKING HELL DUDE.

SCILLA IS FREAKING ME THE FUCK OUT GET AWAY- IM TRYNA SEE ODYS REACTION TO BALDYS STULIDITY AND SHES SITTING THERE WIDE EYED FUCK OFF-

SHES SO FREAKY HELP-

EW WHY DID HER NECK FUCKING ELONGATE???

oh bro got snatched okay-

WHY IS SHE SNATCHING EVERYONE EXCEPT THE BALD FUCKER???

Okay but how many died just now???

Six okay, also stfu and sit yo Baldy ass back down Eurylichus

PUT THAT SWORD AWAY IMMEDIATELY LIKE YO DUMBASS WOULDNT HAVE DONE THE FUCKING SAME-

THEY STABBED HIM??? YALL MAD CUS HE LIKES WIFE MORE THAN YOU??? JEALOUS FUCKS-

THE FUCKING NECK OF THESE GUYS MAN OMFG-

Omg no pls listen to Ody- BALDY FOR ONCE JUST FUCKING LISTEN TO ODYSSEUS PLEASE-

You are not about to slay a cow that belongs to Lord Apollon bro😭

Idiots. All of them.

OH NOW YOU WANNA FUCKING LISTEN TO ODY??? FUCK OFF MAN YOU STUPID FUCKS-

I KNEW ODY SHOULDVE THROWN BALDY OVERBOARD IN SCYLLAS LAIR

GET THEIR ASSES APOLLON!!!

Oh or Zeus that works too ig I was excited to see Apollo-

WHY IS ZEUS SEDUCING A CLOUD RIGHT NOW???

This is grossing me out wait😭

EUGHHHH NO FUCK OFF I HATE THE MYTHS OF ZEUS DUDE😭😭😭

Lmao Zeus avenging Apollo's cows instead of Apollo is pretty funny to me honestly

Okay why are we dissing pride rn Zeus you homophobe-

LET THEM DIE THEYRE USELESS AS FUCK! THEY LITERALLY JUST STABBED YOU LIKE AN HOUR AGO LET THEM DIEEEEE PLEASEEEE

OH FUCK OFF BALDY WITH YOUR SAD PUPPY LOOK YOU BROUGHT THIS UPON YOURSELF YOU DUMBASS BITCH YOU CLEARLY SHAVED OFF PART OF YOUR BRAIN ALONG WITH YOUR HAIR

NO DONT CRY ODY THEY WERE USELESS ITS OKAY!

Oh 7 yrs later

Oh damn is this Telemachus? My boy rocking those dangling earrings okay-

NO HES NOT DEAD DUDE HAVE HOPE COME ON!

He has a dog???

Buddy you do not want to fight those monsters maybe just stay with you, yourself and... thou? And the dog ofc and Penelope I'm guessing.

OHHH OKAY L-L-L-L-LEGENDARY! GET IT TELEMACHUS!

Damn not them rocking up in the Palace just to disrespect the Prince wtf???😭

OWL??? ATHENA??? ARE YOU BACK???

STOP I LOVE HIMMMM

"Where is he ehememememe" SHUT YO DESPERATE ASS UP-

HOW DARE YOU CALL PENELOPE A FUCKING TRAMP???

YOU STAY AWAY FROM HER FUCKING ROOM!!

HELL YEAH TELEMACHUS DEFEND HER NAME!!!

BEAT HIS ASS TELEMACHUS!!!

STOP SINGING AND STAB HIM WTF???

HELL YEAH GET HIM!!!

THE FUCKING NERVE OF THIS CUNT??? GET HIM TELEMACHUS!!!

GET YOUR HAND OFF OF HIS NECK IMMEDIATELY???

TELEMACHUS GET UP OMFG-

HOW IS THIS BOY PENELOPES SON??? I KNOW DAMN WELL SHE CAN PROBABLY FIGHT LIKE A BEAST WHY IS SHE NOT TEACHING HIM???

ATHENAAAA YESSSS HELP THIS POOR GUYYYYY

YEAH UPPERCUT!! FUCK YES!!

YES ATHENA!!! FUCK HIM UP!!!

YES FUCK HIM UP TELEMACHUS!!!

GET IT LITTLE WOLF!!!

I HATE THIS GUY?? NOT TELEMACHUS BUT THE FUCKER HES FIGHTING-

Yay Athena has a new student and it's her old students son we love thatttt

Damn just tell him you were his father's mentor??? No? Okay-

Stop Telemachus is such a fucking cutie I can't-

OMG SHE HIGH FIVED TELEMACHUS BUT NOT ODY THATS AMAZING-

"You're a good kid..." "Thanks :D" I LOVE HIM-

Damn she really just hasn't even checked on him for ten years-

Athena, girly, you have missed alot😭😭😭

Damn now he's missing alright

Okay now who is this girly calling him "sleepyhead"?

LMAO NOT HER JUST BRUSHING PAST THE WIFE COMMENT😭

OH EW FUCK OFF??? HOMEWRECKER GTFO-

Damn okay it's kind of a bop though

Okay this is low-key SA I'm gonna be honest so I'm actually not gonna joke much about Calypso and Ody out of personal preference.

Oh okay he's just gonna jump off a cliff, cool-

CALYPSO HES TRYING TO KILL HIMSELF CAN YOU STOP HARASSING HIM FOR LIKE TWO FUCKING SECONDS YOU ANNOYING HOMEWRECKING BITCH I HATE YOU-

STOP SPRINGING FLASHBACKS OF POLITES ON ME!!!

let's not mourn the baldy he was useless anyway-

Valid crash out.

HE CALLED FOR ATHENA OMG THIS POOR GUY DUDE

YEAH GO HELP HIM ATHENA!!!

Wtf are the god games

Oh she asking for Zeus's help okay

Bro, your kid is asking for your help, and you wanna make it a game fuck off-

YAY WE ACTUALLY GET TO SEE APOLLO OMG

Okay, so, she has to convince all of them to help save Odysseus and then they'll let him off Calypso's Island cool awesome fun-

Imma do this in sections wait

Apollo

Love the vocals omg? Bro mad about the sirens. OMG HE DIDNT EVEN CARE ONCE HE FOUND OUT THE SIRENS WERE FINE😭 BRO SAID "TF AM I HERE FOR"

Hephaestus

Yeah valid reasoning very valid

LMAO HE DOESNT SOUND ARSED TO ARGUE WITH HER I LOVE THAT-

Aphrodite

Oh I love her

No I don't never mind.

Ehhh.

Ares

LMAO COMING TO BACK UP HIS WIFE AND ANNOY HIS SISTER I SEE YOU ARES!!!

I kinda love him

Oh oh rapping okay get it get it

AYE DONT DISS TELEMACHUS-

Yes Athena get his ass.

Lmao the simultaneous response between him and Aphrodite what a power couple honestly. Love Ares.

Hera

AHHHH LOVE HER

Lmao she's low-key on Athena's side she just wants a good reason. She's here for fun.

LMAO SHE WAS CONVINCED BY THE LACK OF CHEATING THATS SO AMAZING-

Zeus

Oh he being scary.

DONT YELL AT HER???

Bro don't get pissy because you lost

(LMAO ALL OF THE OTHERS LOOKIM AT ZEUS LIKE "UH WTF-")

GET UP ATHENA GET YOUR ASS UP-

GET UP GIRL PLEASE😭

YESSSSS LADY ATHENA!!!

LISTEN TO YOUR FUCKING DAUGHTER ZEUS??? WHY ARE YOU ACTUVELY HURTING HER??? YOU BITCH-

Oh not fucking Calypso again please-

YEAH HES LEAVING GOOD FOR YOU ODY!!!

Shut up bro nobody likes you

CAME ON TOO STRONG!? YOU FUCKING ASSAULTED HIM YOU WORTHLESS BITCH???

Oh NOW you'll say you were wrong huh? What's up with assholes apologising far too late in this fucking musical???

I do hate you yes.

Bro BE sorry for loving him??? HE HATES YOU AND HE HAS EVERY RIGHT TOO-

ODY DONT FEEL FUCKING BAD FOR HER? DONT TRY AND COMFORT HER??

Okay sad backstory, yeah, but that doesn't really excuse you assaulting him now does it, Calypso?

STOP GUILT TRIPPING HIM YOU MANIPULATIVE BITCH-

IS THIS NOT ABUSE??? IS THIS NOT ABUSE???

He should hate you and he has every right to hate you because you're a fucking bitch-

"Ehememememe I have all these negative emotions so it's your problem now EHMEMEMEMEMEEM" that's all I hear right now-

ODY NO! DONT TRY TO MAKE HER FEEL BETTER?? WHERE'S THE BEAST GONE?? WHERE'S THE MONSTER??? STOP IT!!!

I HATE THIS WHOLE SEGMENT AND NOBODY CAN EVER MAKE ME LIKE CALYPSO IN ANY WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM! ARGUE WITH THE WALL!

Ain't no way he's getting all the way back to Ithica on a fucking raft😭🙏

HERMES IS FUCKING BACK WITH THE WIND BAG WHAT AN ICON!!!

HIS STUPID FUCKING LAUGH OH GOD I LOVE HIM SO MUCH-

Can I just mention how amazing Hermes would be at hosting a circus? Like je would fucking love the greatest showman

STOP BECAUSE HES GENUINELY ACTUALLY ROOTING FOR ODYSSEUS HERE LIKE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH MAN

Do. Not. Open. That. Fucking. Bag. I swear if this bag opens I'm suing SOMEBODY-

This song is such a bop btw

AHSGDHSKDHDGW I LOVE HIMMMMM

Love how he's low-key shit talking a sea monster

OKAY DONT GET CARRIED AWAY ODY PLEASE JUST THINK FUCKING LOGICALLY YOURE MAKING ME NERVOUS-

YAY HE CAN SEE ITHICA!!!

WHY THE FUCK CANT WE JUST LET THIS FUCKER BE HAPPY FOR LIKE TWO MINITES? POSEIDON FUCK OFF-

DO NOT GET IN THE FUCKING WATER-

Oh maybe get in the water actually...

AYE DO NOT THREATEN TELEMACHUS AND PENELOPE???

POSEIDON YOU HEARTLESS FUCK

Lmao he's really trying to reason with Lord Poseidon, get it ig-

LMAO ITS OKAY ODY YOU WERE SO CLOSE KEEP TRYING BUDDY

OKAY POSEIDON CHILL CHILL CHILL-

ODYSSEUS NOOOOOO

STOP. GIVING ME. POLITES. FLASHBACKS. PLEASE BRO-

BRO CMON YOU CANT DIE NOW-

OH? OH OKAY HE GETTIN BACK UP!!!

WHY THE FUCK IS HE FLYING WHAT IS GOING ON-

Oh damn was he just empowered by like three different gods???😭

Oh he screaming okay-

GET HIM ODY!!!

OH DAMN DID HE JUST KILL POSEIDON??

Oh he didn't okay.

HE OPENED THE BAG??? ODYSSEUS WHY???

Oh he threatening him-

OH- NOT THE TORTURE!

HES REALLY TORTURING A GOD FUCKING HELL-

BRO JUST TORTURED A LITERAL GOD TO GET HOME OH JESUS-

"Next to my wife" COLDEST LINE IN FUCKING CINEMATIC HISTORY- YES ODYSSEUS GO AND GET EM TIGER!!!!

Oh we back in the Palace okay

PENELOPE YOU WILL NOT CHOOSE A SUITOR BRO-

PENELOPE YOURE AMAZING DONT CRY I LOVE YOU-

I KNEW SHE WAS A BADASS!!!

NO DONT SET AN ACTUAL CHALLENGE FOR THEM PENELOPE THEY HAVE PLOT ARMOUR-

STOP GIRL DONT CRY YOURE SO STRONG WERE ALL SO PROUD OF YOU HONEY!!!

NO, YOU HEARD THE QUEEN, IF YOU CANT STRING THE FUCKING BOW THEN YOURE USELESS AND SHE HATES YOU SO FUCK OFF!

FUCK. OFF. STUPID. UGLY. BASTARD. I WISH SOMEONE WOULD HOLD YOU DOWN AND GUT YOU FOR FUCK SAKE-

STOP- NO- LEAVE TELEMACHUS ALONE YOU FUCKING FREAKS FUCK OFF I HATE THIS DONT YOU DARE LAY A FINGER ON THAT BOY!!!

SLIT WHOS THROAT?? I WILL CUT YOUR DICK OFF-

WHAT EVEN IS THIS GUYS NAME??? FUCK OFF YOU FREAK NOBODY LIKES YOU-

IF YOU TOUCH PENELOPE IM GONNA FEED YOU TO THE CYCLOPS-

EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW I CANT EVEN JOKE ABOUT THIS THATS JUST FUCKING DISGUSTING???

OH ODYSSEUS IS HERE? FINALLY!!

HES DEAD! YES! OLAY PENELOPE AND TELEMACHUS ARENT HURT WE'RE GOOD!

TELL THEM ODY!!!

KILL THEM ALL!! 600 STRIKES PER FUCKER!!!

HES BAAAAAACK!!!

yall ever play hide and seek in the dark? Yeah that's what this is to me-

HUNT THEM DOWN ODY!!!

FUCK YES ODYSSEUS!!!

NOT THIS FUCKER TRYING TO SWEET TALK ODYSSEUS SIT YO ASS DOWN AND TAKE THIS ARROW BITCH-

"Open arms insteaaaa-" "No :/" FUCK YEAH ODY!!!

YESSSS ODY

OH IT WAS TELEMACHUS!!! FUCK YES BUDDY!!!

OH YOU COWARDS LEAVE THE KID ALONE

YOU WILL NOT ALL ATTACK THE LRINCE FUCK OFF-

FUCK THEM UP TELEMACHUS!!! YOUVE GOT THIS!!!

ODY TO THE RESCUE FUCK YES

MERCY???

KILL THEM ALL ODY!!!

SCREAMMMMMM COWARDSSSSS

AAAAHHHH THEY FINALLY MEET THE FATHER AND SON OMG YAY-

Oh buddy😭

I'll be too busy sobbing to react to this part so uhhh yeah

See, this is why I can't watch father and son things because I genuinely do just start sobbing. I'm not joking, there's tears streaming down my neck it's really annoying me actually-

OH YAY ATHENA IS BACK FUCK YES!!!

GO AND SEE YOUR WIFE ODYSSEUS!!!

Wait I don't like that song title I thought they were already madly in love??? THEY STAYED IN LOVE NO??? IF I CRY AGAIN IM MAKING IT EVERYONES PROBLEM-

YES ITS REALLY HIM TF-

YES YOU ARE ODY FUCK OFF.

ODYSSEUS FUCK OFF STOP BEING STUPID YOURE STILL HER LOVING HUSBAND STOP IT😭

SHUT UP STOP MAKING THINGS HARDER JUST BE IN LOVE-

YOU WANT HIM TO TAKE AWAY YOUR FUCKING WEDDING BED??? PENELOPE ITS A TREE THATS NAILED INTO THE FUCKING GROUND ALSO WHY THE FUCK-

Oh wait she was just testing if it was him oh my god my heart stop fuck off I'll cry-

STOP SHE'S SO IN LOVE WITH HIM IM GONNA CRYYYY-

OH MY FUCKING GOD KILL ME NOW DUDE MY HEARTTTTT

Okay so uhhhh

Verdict: Masterpiece, absolutely loved it, never getting over Polites, Hermes is an icon and I love him, and this might be the topic of all my solitudious discussions for the next like month or so-

Okay it's half three in the morning GOODNIGHT-

[honeytama]

sooo many thoughts,, barbecue n fireworks w/bestie matt (feat. bomens boys) under the cut

fluff fluff fluff

ugh grill king ily,,,,,you’re so adorable w your special grilling gear and apron that you just have to pack with you :( even on tour bc who knows when there’s going to b the chance to cook something up for your friends aw

imagine you, best friend! matt, and the guys having an off day in the summer time. he’s so excited to cook for you bc you’ve never had his food and mans is constantlyyyy talking about it.

you tease him about needing to try it for yourself to see if he’s really the best

“i know my stuff is good. you’re gonna be begging me for seconds,” he boasts, clicking his tongs at you.

mhm ok

you offer to be his assistant or just to stand with him

“nope!, i’m in control, just relax and let me take care of it”

so you sit your pretty little self in a fold out chair sipping your favorite bevy he put in the cooler just for you (bonus: if it’s a celcius that he got you into, he’s so proud of himself) and just watch/talk and laugh w him while he stands there vigilantly watching the food…. w his apron on and hair tied back :(( (sorry domestic matt just really gets to me)

once the food is ready, he calls everyone over to make their plates but he already knows what you like 😭

“just sit there, i got it ☝️”

he fixes it up for you and you look down at the plate,, it’s perf with all your favorites and condiments and sides stoppp

“you want another drink?? i put an extra (your fav) in the cooler,,here” without you saying yes he’s digging through the ice to grab it for you. acts of service are his specialty <3

while you’re eating, he’s constantly trying to get up to refill your plate or getting you napkins or making fun of you for getting ketchup on ur face and trying to wipe it away :( the guys are just liiikkke uhh bro STAND UP (actually sit down they don’t need 10 napkins theyre FINE ,,,, also the boys have never seen matt flirt before so it’s a lil awk)

later in the night, matt and folio are being country boys and setting off mini fireworks in the empty parking lot nearby while everyone watches,, excitedly w a lil bit of fear of course

matt runs over to the chair next to you to watch them go off and you tell him you’re a lil freaked out that something might go wrong and/or you’re afraid of the booms

he holds your hand in his on top of your chair’s arm rest and tells you “it’ll be okay” ;~; he “wouldn’t do it if you would be in danger” ;~;

you watch his face glow in the light of the fireworks and your heart feels like it’s gonna explode, especially when he looks at you to check if you’re as proud of him as he is himself

ALSO !!! matt bought sparklers and guess what no one NO ONE can use them but you two ahh

“noah, no these are for y/n and i get your own!”

“PLEASE just one” noah tries to fight him on it :/

“you should have planned ahead !!”

guard dog matt..

“AY who tf took 3 sparklers?? stay out of my shit! now y/n only gets to do it twice 😩”

matt’s always listening btw, it’s why he got you the sparklers in the first place :) he remembered you telling him you wanted to try those old cutie pinterest pics where you write each other’s names and draw w sparklers…

he’s thinks it’s dumb! and probably won’t work! BUT ANYTHING FOR U

noah does get 1 sparkler to share w nick! folio n jolly get their own bc theyre good boys and don’t steal. you all are trying to figure out how to get the best pictures and matt’s just busting their balls saying you’re better at it than they are 💀

when you finally get back to matt who’s been watching you have fun from his seat,, you show him your pictures….

you tease him when his cheeks show a bit of pink and his lips turn up just a bit

“oh, cute…”

you’ve shown him a pic of u drawing ‘ matt + y/n <3 ‘

he sees you staring EEE “shut up”

“matt, i didn’t even say anything!!”

the matt eye roll,, “whatever just remember to send that to me…”

[starkidsimping]

before the batman : annotations

spoilers for the novel btw //

these are just some lines i highlighted and my notes. warning, theyre very stupid and hold little to no actual content. literally just my immediate response to whatever i had just read. THIS IS STUPIDLY LONG ! ! blue - bruce centric notes green - edward centric notes pink - misc notes, other characters, etc.

Prologue: The Boy in the Choir

"But when it was empty, Bruce had played in the big room, rolling toy race cars across the gleaming wooden floor all by himself."

OH MY GOD BRO :( what a patootie

-

"Except for one boy."

wsp baby :( ily

-

Chapter I: Summer Plans

"Alfred smiled and held up a notebook computer. 'I did. Straight A's. You made the Dean's List again.'"

hes just so proud of his boy </3 weeping

-

Chapter II: A Secret Project

"Alfred liked to joke that he was teaching him 'Brucejitsu.'"

theyre so cute im gonna vomit

-

"...private train car..."

this is insane. for the record .

-

"(About nine times out of ten, the mysterious substance turned out to be chewing gum.)"

let bro have fun :( hes so cute im gonna cry. just imagine him being so excited about making some incredible scientific breakthrough of an unknown, potentially supernatural substance and its. gum. hes so cute :(

-

"Maybe someday soon this car could take him there."

HES SO CUTE hes just a little boy ..... (hes 17.) honestly his dissatisfaction with life is just a result of nepotism. my poor wittle nepo baby

-

Chapter III: Edward

"...Edward Nashton."

HAIII :3

-

"You weren't supposed to say you hated school. But you were supposed to think summer was fun."

CHRIST hes so autism coded. 'supposed to,' like theres a certain way that youre meant to think that everyone else knows about, but he specifically is left out and has to guess on what hes 'supposed' to say, think, feel, etc...

-

"He smirked at me. Thought he was so much better than me."

sighs loudly .

-

"If a distant relative sent some money to one of the orphans, everyone would say, 'Man, you're such a Bruce.'"

NOT THEM TURNING HIS NAME INTO A SLUR LMFAO

-

Chapter IV: The Bruce Wayne

"He quickly found the right wrench by touch."

oh my god bro be soooo fkn fr. hes such a loser. i love him

-

"He certainly didn't want to blow the engine. Just make is growl."

oh hes one of THOSE …….. okay baby whatever makes you happy. i love how hes literally just the Car Boyfriend. F1 fan . smh

-

"'The way this guy was driving, I thought maybe they'd changed it to the Indianapolis Motor Speedway.'"

dickhead

-

Chapter V: I Know You

"Anything except his parents back."

oh. erm …!

-

Chapater VI: Dex and Paul

"That felt good—leaving ’em in the dust."

hes so cute. "haha yeah >:) i totally win"

-

Chapter VII: Thrills

“'Cheapskate,' he’d muttered as he walked back to his bike."

bro is so unserious. 'ax an elder' like that would blow over well. youre such a little freak i love you I LOVE YOU

-

"But now just the thought of doing something wrong—even something dangerously criminal—thrilled him."

you need a better outlet baby. have you considered getting diagnosed ......

-

Chapter VIII: You're In

"It was a puzzle he was determined to solve."

PUZZLE MENTION ! ! i like the parallels between ed and bruce ; both getting a thrill out of something they shouldnt be doing, being really good at certain respectives (i.e. edward and puzzles, bruce and cars) (this feels really autistic. for both of them)

-

"And he had a feeling Dex would disapprove."

he js wants to impress his cool new friend this is so sad lmao

-

Chapter IX: The Race

"But then the flash turned into a flame, and the flame spread quickly. BOOM!"

babys first act of terrorism LMAO

-

"Her engine blew, and her black muscle car careened off the street, hit a wall, and burst into flames."

OH MY GOD ?

-

Chapter X: Bye, Paul

"I wore my seatbelt like a good citizen should."

girl what are you on about now is NOT the time

-

"Aww, he thought. Poor little rich kids! Did someone bust up your racing party? Too bad! I wonder who it could have been."

shifty little fucker bro is MALICIOUS LOL

-

Chapter XI: Running

"Now, how was the race last night? Did you win?"

ALFRED ILY SM bro is so silly

-

Chapter XII: An Appointment

-

Chapter XIII: Changes

-

Chapter XIV: A Suit

"Bruce had written his thoughts down in a notebook:"

i just adore that he keeps a diary. i found it hysterical while watching the movie and now i just appreciate it

-

Chapter XV: The Point

"He brought the same lunch every day—sandwich, carrots, apple."

hes so cute im gonna THROW UP. im gonna throw up. same thing every day bro im just adding this to my list of reasons as to why hes autistic. possible safe foods for him and also just routine. god i love him. if he told me to make him a sandwhich i would. whats feminism idk ......

-

"Edward looked him in the eye. 'For a numbers guy, you sure use a lot of words.'”

ok fine i giggled. hes such a smartass LMAO what an asshole (affectionate)

-

Chapter XVI: Robbery

-

Chapter XVII: Smear it On, Blow it Up

-

Chapter XVIII: Under the Mask

"'You again?' he gasped. 'What do you want?' 'You,' Bruce said,"

im blushing

-

"Then he got an idea. What if it wasn’t there anymore?"

please for the love of god do NOT blow up the building full of orphan children i cannot keep defending you

-

"It was Dex."

GENUINELY CAUGHT ME OFF GUARD ??

-

Chapter XIX: A Visit to Smitty

-

Chapter XX: For My Lawn Mower

“'Give me back that bag,' Dex warned, lifting the rake. 'Or what?' Bruce asked, chuckling. 'You’ll rake me into a neat pile?'”

shut up dude 😭 😭

-

"Keeping a careful hold on the satchel, he wrapped his powerful arms around her, trapping her."

HELLO SAILOR

-

“'I’m going to fill this,' he explained. 'For my lawn mower.'”

i cannot keep defending this guy (yes i can) hes gonna set a fkn orphanage on fire dawwwggg

-

"And just like always, Edward had made exactly zero impression on the cashier."

the "disguise" wasnt even necessary bro no one gaf 😭 😭

-

Chapter XXI: Nice Kick

"...he saw the driver on the ground reach into his pocket, pull something out, and aim it at the truck. A remote control."

goodbye bruce. you were so so sexy

-

"As the fire alarm went off..."

BRO . YOU DID NAWT .

-

"They were right. There was no fire. Yet."

oh ok nvm carry on then

-

Chapter XXII: Busted

-

Chapter XXIII: Resolutions

"Then something interesting occurred to Edward. What if I sent riddles with my crimes?"

UR SO CORNY DAWG . shut up ur so corny . someone get this cornball outta here (and in my BED)

[simplyjake]

Enha hyungs with filo!reader

summary: meeting the fam and visiting the philippines with your lovely boyfriend!

a/n: this is VERY self indulgent yall. im filo-american

i think its fully gn!reader.. let me know of any mistakes!

Heeseung

All da titas LUV hee

Girl atp during your family parties

You enter and ur man isnt with you

“Anako where is your boyfriend”

Like damn my bad tita i thought you wanted to see me more

Yk… your niece/nephew

The younger kids love him

Hes the life of the party

This goes without saying but you teach him a lot of tagalog

Or whatever dialect you speak!

You taught him putangina mo and he hasnt stopped saying it since omg

“Yo jake”

“Hmm?”

“Putang ina mo”

LOLLLLL

You teach him how to make your favorite meals

I think heeseung would really enjoy bibingka 

Though let me just say

Good luck getting your man back during a party fr like

If hes not doing karaoke w the titas, hes playing mahjong with the uncles, if not them your older cousins steal him to game and the young kids love playing house with him

And once you found him with one of your cousins babies in the room as he sings them to sleep 

like which one gave him that baby please..

Jay

Okay so jay

When you brought him to the philippines for the first time

Pookie LIVED at the mall of asia let me tell you

Like honey we still gotta do everything else

Jay would love baguio too

Doesnt even care if they are over paying him for the taho he LOVES IT

“Jay pls stop talking to them in english theyre overcharging u”

“Womp womp i dont care this street food is fire” 

Did he fr just womp womp you…

He said this after getting said taho

You made sure he knew how to bless the elderly before you meet everyone

And he makes sure he does it to all the lolas and lolos in your family!

Hes just in awe with the country and how pretty it is

He asks your parent how to cook some of your fav dishes

Just so he can make it at home whenever you feel homesick

He actually had to buy a THIRD luggage for yall cus he would not stop buying souvenirs and clothes when you went.

I think jays fav filo dish would be balatong idk

I dont make the rules

Tbh i kinda do

Anywho

After the trip jay has a talk with you

He really wants to have a house there for whenever you visit and have it be next to your family home :( so cute

Makes plans to propose at your favorite place in the ph!!

Jake

Ok jake

The titos LOVE jake

Honorary filipino of the family fs

Your younger girl cousins are all over him HELP

“Can i have my man back”

“No.”

“You heard them y/n, i guess i have to stay with her”

Oh hes sick

Constantly offered your lola to help cook 

She said no plenty of times but he wouldnt take no for an answer!

You took him to visit paoay 

LOVED IT THERE

Jollibees number one fan

LIVES for the pineapple quencher got it anytime he ordered

Hesitant on the cheese and ube pie

Ended up buying like two during the visits

Jake love love loves igado

Its now one of his favorite dishes

His fav dish tho was the empanadas by the small shop near your house

After the trip he is now officially in the gc u nd ur cousins have

He was already planning your next trip back

Even though youre halfway through this one

Like babe let's maybe finish this before anything else ok?

Sunghoon

Since hes a bit on the quieter side

Hed be a bit awkward meeting everyone first 

If you're in a filo family yk how they are when you bring a man home oml..

But in the end

He fits in well with your family fr

Also hot take

I think sunghoon loves balut 

I cant remember if any of the enha members have tried it before so forgive me

But i just feel he woul enjoy it the most

Loved the beach trips you and him would take 

He buys the silly “I love the Philippines” shirts

Gets a few little trinkets to display around the house

Became friends with your tourist guide

Now they follow each other on facebook

Based off true events

Talkative s/o and bf who listens

You tell him all about the history of the places you visit

And he looks at you absorbing all the info you tell him

[graceful-not]

SORRY IM INSANE??????? WHAJT THE FUCK??? I CANT EVEN FOCUS ON WHATEVE NYA AND JAY ARE DOING RIGHT NOW THERE'S ANOTHER FUCKING ZANE???? MY BOY???? EXHO???? DI WE EVER SEE HIM AGAIN??? ISTG IF THEY JUST LEAVE HIM IN THIS LIGHTHOUSE AFTER THIS WHY ARE THEY NOT FREAKING OUT?!?????? HE WAS STUCK HERE THIS WHOLE TIME?? WHY DID DR JULIEN NOT SAY ANYTHING IM INSANE?!?!?? HES SO RUSTED IM. I. ok I actually really like the steampunk vibes VS zanes more modern ones but HUH???? JULIEN JUST LEFT HIM HERE?!?!??? ok good they're fixinyg him up but ????? WHYAT???? I LITERALLY. HUH. HUH SO DOES ZANE HAVE ABROTHER THEN??? IVR NEVRR HEARD OF TJIS GUY WHICH MEANS HE ISNT RLLY IMPORTANT BUT I. THERE ARE SO MABY GODDAMN IMPLICATIONS THIS SHOULD BE SO IMPORTANT I. WHY ARE THEY BRUSHING THIS OFF??? I UUST GOOGLED IT AJD HE WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE AN ARC BUT IT WAS TOO COMPLIXATED SO THEY CUT IT??? WHY ADD HIM??? THE ROLE COULD BE FULFILLED BY TAI-D WHY WOULD YOU GIVE ME TJIS AND THEM RIP IT AWAY FRO ME. IM SO WORKED UP IM DOING THE FLAPPY HAND STIM AND I /NEVER/ DO THE FLAPPY HAND STIM. WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK. IM INSANE ABOUT ECJO?? AND THEN THEY JUST LEAVE HIM??? I DJONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT NADAKHAN WHRE IS MY BOY? MY SON?? WAS HE JUST IN THE SECRET BASEMENT WHILE JULIEN GREETED THE OG ZANE?!?????? I CAN'T DO THID WHAT THE FUCK. THIS IS SO TRAGIC. WHERE IS HE GIVE HIM BACK TO.ME. WHY WERE THEY ACTING LIKE HES JUST SOME CONVENIENT WEAPON OR TOOL HES A WHOLE ASS PERSON?? LIKE THEYRE SO NONCHALANT ABOUT IT ALL "aww awesome we have another Zane at our disposal!" HES A WHOLR PERSON. HE HAS FEEKINGS??? LIKE HE FEELS THINGS HES NOT JUST A COOL WEAPON??? IF THAT WAS A HUMAN CHILD THEYD HAVE BROUGHT HIM WITH THEM???? I CANT DO THIS WHAT THE FUCK

ECHO ECHO ECHO MY SON IS BACK MY BOY MY SON MY DARLING MY SWEETHEAR COME HERE I NEED TO PICK YOU UP AND KISSYS YOU. he seems. okay with being in there??? has he ever left the lighthouse??????? does he KNOW what's out there??? HE CANT HAVE UNTIL JULIEN LEFT BC OF THE KRAKEN THING SO??? HAS HE EXPLORED SINCE THEN IS THAT WHY HE SEEMS SO CONTENT THERE??? HE DOESNT MIND BEING LEFT THERE?!???? I DONT UNDERTSTAND. HES JUST CHILL. LIKE *salutes* yessir! NO ECHO!! ASJ QUESTIONS!! I LOVE YOU BUT RHAT WHOLE SEQUENCE WAS FOR NO REASON HE ADDS NOTHING TO THE REPLACEMENT NINJA TEAMM. WHY DID THEY GIVE ME THIS WHOLE ASS CHARACTER WITH 300000 IMPLICATIONS AND THEN JUST NOT MAKE HIM RELEVANT AT ALL!! HE DIDNT EVER NEED TO BE THERE I HONESTLY WISH HE DIDNT EXIST BC NOW IM GONNA BE THINKING ABT HIM FOREVER!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!! ZANE WHY ARE YOU CHILL ABOUT HIS EXISTENCE "I see you brought some friends" YOU SHOULD BE FREAKING YOUR SHIT RIGHT NOW!!!! WHAT THE FUCK???? YOUR DAD BUILT THAT DUDE THATS SO FUCKED UP. TJATS UR BROTHER. THATSUR FUCKING BROHTER. AND THEN THEY JUST RESET TIME???? SO HES STILL IN THAT GODDAMN LIGHTHOUSE IM INSANE??? HES STILL IN THERE IS HE FUCKING ALIVE??!???? WHAT??? IS HE OKAY??? IM INSANE IM LITERALLY INSANE. AND UR TELLING ME TJEY NEVER MENTION OR DO ANYTHING WITH HIM AGAIN?!??? IM INSANE ABOUT THIS. IM INSANE. I CANT DO THIS WHAT THEFUCKN????? AUUAUAUAU. WHAT? HUH. WHATA???I need to find contebt of him right nowwhy is it all just shipping with Morro. good for them I guess but I don't CARE about the gay ghost what the FUCK is echos DEAL!!! WHAT IS UP WITH HIM???? ITS LITERALY ALL CITRUSSHIPPING ART WHERE IS ANY SPECULATIVE LORE??? WHAT ABOUT HIM AND ZANE WHATS THEYRE DEAL WHAT IF THEY METM WOULD TJEY BE BROTHERS?? IM HAVING SO MANY THOUGHTS RIGHT NOW. Zane deserves a little bro dude... another one I mean. falcon and Tai-D can be bestfriends. I'm insane I'm fucking insane. I love Morro and all but goddamn that's really all there is here shdbsjdb. it's cute and all but very "what if errytjung was ok and they were alive and we didn't have to worry about canon" but WHAT ABOUT THE OTHERS??? DO JAY ABD NYA JUST NEVER TELL ANYONE?!?!?? THATS A WHOLE ASS SAPIENT BEING??? HES LITERALY CONSCIOUS??? WHAT THE FUCK. YOU LEFT A WHOLE ASS PERSON BEHIND THATS SO FUCKED UP. IM INSANE.

[saltymothball]

my unpopular takes on beetlejuice beetlejuice SPOILERS!! (long post)

(i am a fan of the original pls do not come for me) these are just my thoughts on the sequel :D please feel free to add yours too

context! im writing these notes as i watch so theyre a little disorganized

for reference i also rewatched the original immediately prior to the sequel

not opening with the classic beetlejuice muisic ?? even the stage show opens with that music where is it (EDIT- restarted it and it actually does open w the music, but it is much less fun/campy an and more of a spooky remix so i forgot)

its not plot necessary but i do wish we learned how BJ fixed his shrunken head and death by sandworm

where are the maitlands ???? 0 mention of adam and barbra at the beginning ?

BJ's ex wife intro was a very creative concept but i wish they did it with more sfx props and less cgi/green screen

Astrid is like very boring, theyve done nothing to get the audience (me) invested in her?? disney wish vibes like who is she

call it a headcanon i feel like lydia wouldnt be this fucking awkward of a parent ?? she had good role models ie adam and barbra (even if her own parents werent as active, by the end of the original movie it implied they were now living in a healthy family dynamic

the mother daughter drama feels really forced, reminds me of the out-of-place tension between wednesday and morticia in the 2023 show

all angles are super close up and feel like horror angles. the scene where astrid befriends that boy ?? felt like someone was gonna come up and kill them the ENTIRE interaction (edit i guess that makes sense but it nerfed the scene)

IMMEDIATELY knew his parents are dead btw. not showing their faces is so clearly they are dead. not an ounce of mystery. theory the boy might be a ghost too?

theory astrids dad isnt dead bc Lydia cant see him

the witching hour wrong ?? last i knew it was 3am not 12am. weird thing to get wrong

its like not a silly campy vibe ?? its like uncomfortable.

dont like lydias new man hes pushy and gross

i miss adam and barbra

it doesnt make sense that no one taking lydia seriously ? delia knows she can see ghosts and has also experienced beetlejuice

lydias fiance is a horrid excuse for a partner (how tf did she meet him like did he just walk in bc the plot needed another person to hate lydia

not the dead protester joke :(

the spill-your-guts/pregnancy felt really idk,,, icky??? dont know how to explain it but it uncomfortably long

follow up- a lot of the visual ghost gags felt very gross/gorey ? like in the original movie the gags were inbetween silly/sexual/spooky-but this one feels more like blood and guts instead of spiders and snakes. exhibit A) otho casually shoving corpse barbra out of the way when looking at the closet with delia / exhibit b) the guy with the cigarettes at the end of the original

theory that astrid is going to end up seeing ghosts by the end of the movie

love the "eeee!" noise BJ makes when people say his name

ok BJ with the guitar after lydia tells him off was legitimately funny

i know astrid is an angsty teen but my god she is so hostile towards lydia

calling it at 56mins the boys parents are SO dead bc they deliberately didnt have lydia meet them

listen i have nothing against jenna ortega but it feels like she is type-casted to play exactly one character now, like let the girl play something other than a monotone gothy teen

"they found a loophole and moved on" okay whatever that means

astrids awkwardness w this ghost boy is pretty cute. he is so definitely a ghost though

yup called it hes a ghost

"my mom was telling the truth... shit" lmao

this boy feels very sus bc why are you trying to bribe her w her father

still no info on how lydia and rory met ??

MURDER HOUSE ?? TH BOY IS A MURDERER ??? okay thats a good twist ill give them that

astrid going into the afterlife to see her dad feels very "lydia going to the afterlife to see her mom" plot from the stage show ?

astrid honey you have too much faith in this ghost boy

oh my fucking god delia did you really get poisonous snakes....so on brand for her

Beetlegeuse literally carrying the whole movie

every scene he's in is absolutely giving

william dafoe is pretty good too but adding him just feels like he is william dafoe and not the character hes playing (who is also an actor)

delia correcting herself from saying fuck is really funny like girl was that scripted

okay ok astrd seeing her dad working in immigration was pretty neat

i had actually forgotten abt BJs ex wife until now ? doesnt seem like she actually adds much to the story beyond giving BJ a new reason to pursue lydia... which he was already doing...?

are they all going to end up in the afterlfe wtf

the afterlife desert takes place on the fucking moon of saturn ?? okay

is it just me or is the sandworm not claymation... like maybe its just the way it looks but i swear it looks like they cgi'd it but then cut down the frame rate

damn lydias husband really got eaten by piranhas.. what a way to die oh my god

there was no real stakes to astrid switching her soul? they resolved that so fast like lydia just grabbed her and they ran

oh their husband/dad is back now everything is fixed...? like all that hate towards her mom is now gone bc her mom was telling the truth about seeing ghosts? dad just resolved the only conflict

beetlejuice didnt even help get astrid back he went on a pee break and the plot progressed

love bad cop william defoe

"are you filled with fear and trembling?" "yes im shitting my pants" absolutely gold

BJ on fetchquests this whole movie fr

the soul sucking lady please she ate bobs nametag :(

ok wtf they really solved ghost boy dilemma in 5 seconds, BJ ex machina... like he rlly just got him like that ??? anticlimactic

ok good astrid apologized for being a shitty kid

rory please stop kissing lydias neck

i kind of hate the modern nods like the self securing seatbelt in the priests car, or the influencers at the wedding, really weird unnecessary detail

BJ and Delia wedding crashers my fav

how did Beetlejuice get into the church ? if he is a demon like previously established, shouldnt he NOT be able to step on holy ground

enjoyed the slapstick moment of lydia punching rory, good moment

her red dress omg !! pretty

BJ himself is just too funny, making the priest sing top tier

i still miss adam and barbra :( if they can cgi that dead guy in star wars i think we couldve brought alec baldwin and geena davis who are in fact still very alive and look great

they really didnt make me interested in BJs ex wife other than she is pretty and looks like morticia addams ?

BJ making everybody partake in singing is very silly

everybody dancing at the wedding scene must have been fun to film, everybody looks like theyre jamming

lmao whos dog was that in the hallucinations ?? is that the dog who killed the maitlands

"ghoul squad" ok monster high

oh finally his ex is here

lydia so casually pushed out of the way lmao

why does BJ have more etherial powers than every other ghost?

offering rory to the soul sucking lady is so good

theyre really just gonna sandworm for the plot resolution again ???

his ex wife was a threat for all of 4 seconds

lol the legal marriage loophole was kinda funny

is delia like forever dead ? is she a ghost now? is beetlejuice dead?

i still love delia. "i will find charles and we will haunt you both" good for her

are the influencer wedding guests dead

everything got wrapped up very quickly

good on delia for still loving her husband even though that shark absolutely annihilated him

what ?? astrid is married now???

WHAT ??? SHES GIVING BIRTH ?????

oh ok its a dream

having a second pregnancy bit felt really weird

they alluded to another sequel :(

please remember i am actually a huge fan of beetlejuice !! no hate to the franchise these are just my personal opinions on the sequel. i would love to hear your thoughts as well !!

[gunsatthaphan]

"it's all over now."

[dremiruu]

alright i was planning to put out a big celebratory nublar six fanart for chaos theory day but since its 10 and I'm only done with darius I'm putting a pin in that and instead posting the notes i took at the time while watching the show!!

BIG JURASSIC WORLD CHAOS THEORY SPOILERS AHEAD

I'm going to come out with more sane-sounding analyses and all when i calm down so stick around for that -> for this i was just writing down whatever was in my head while watching but it's still fun!! (italicized the best fragments)

episode 1: - oh my fucking god bens a redditor. my sweet boy what have u done to him - darius calling brooklynn just to hear her voice made me tear up :(( - oh my GOD i missed benrius so so much

episode 2: - HE TURNED HIS VAN INTO A HUGE DORK POUCH AWWW LOVE THIS LITTLE (BIG) GUY - "guess we could've looked that up but… well…" BEN. - WHAT THE FUCK WHATTHEFUCK BEN AND BROOKLYNN WHY ARE U DOING THIS TO ME - SHES SO CUTE…… - im crying,,,, - brookes an investigative journalist awww that fits her so well - them bonding over dark jurrassic i CANNOT - ben being obsessive and dealing with constant anxiety ahhh - darius just called ben 'benjamin' i am in shambles - ohhhwwhbgb theyre fighting over trust and brooklynn and ughghhh my babies - awww bonding over candy i MISSED THEM SO MUCH

episode 3: - SAMMY LIVING ON HER FARM AHH - she doesnt talk to her parents anymore??? girl we all KNOW you care, you loved them SO MUCH?? she sacrificed so much for them what the hell happened - BUMPER CARRRRR SHES HEERREEEEEE - AWWW HER AND BENS REUNION!!!!!!! - ben defending bumpy. also i dont like carlos - SAMMY GIRLIE I LOVE U SO MUCH PLEASE GO SEE A THERAPIST. AVOIDING UR PROBLEMS BY KEEPING URSELF BUSY ISN'T HEALTHY. PLEASE - WHATTHEFUCK WHATTHEFUCK HER SEEING BROOKE I AM IN SHAMBLES - SAMMY GUTTIEREZ. STOP. - THE TEARS IN HER EYES - OH MY GOD IM SOBBING WHAT THE FUCK - "And what, Darius? Stop and think about Brooklynn dying, or my family not speaking to me, or Yaz pulling away from me? No. I… I can't stop. I won't." JESUS FUCGIN CHRSIT WHY - ^ im gonna have to post a whole analysis on this scene because wgat the fuck man - seeing them back in their 'hiding from the dinos' selves fbiudsjkbgfskd - Sammy with Brookes jacket awhghh - ^ also i STILL believe Brooklynns alive I DONT CARE WGAT ANYBODY SAYS PKAEASE - ^^ HHDFUSIGIF - alr this is the 2nd scene involving cars and jumping i have to start counting - ok ths is building up GOOD

episode 4: - ben being emo and sighing so somebody would notice him BROO - THEYRE SO CUTE?? benrius married for the double income shenanigans - YEAH BUMPYS A BOSS SHELL BE FINE - BGFDHUJKH THEYRE ADORABLE - i didn't know i needed benrius conspiring together until we got it - BEN HAS A GIRLFRIEND. !!!! - DARIUSES FLASHBACK SJIT?? - these children. (theyre older than me now i think) - oh my fucking god theyre all so traumatised - DARIUS AND KENJI ARENT ON SPEAKING TERMS. THE HELL. - KENJIIIII HEIII!!! - HES IGNORING HIM. WHAT THE FUVKING HWELL - hes an eat-love-climb kinda guyy - WHYRE THEY FIGHTINGG - oh hes BLAMING DARIUS for brooklynn? KENJI KON WHAT THE FUCK - she went to see daniel?????? why. - SAM CALLING YASMINA ALL THE TIME I - KENJ AND DARIUS WITH TRUST - sammy ranting about yaz doing things she doesn't like i- PLEASE communicate. i beg u creator gods make them actually TALK to each other - "I think we should split up." "gasp you and yaz?!" "what?! noo! us! the three of us!!! …why, did she say somethin'?" OH MY GODSHBKJG HOW BAD IS THEIR SITUATION IM SCARED - sammy just tickled the keys off him - THEY LEFT DARIUS TO DEAL WITH IT. - okay them having the emotional conversation ON THE CLIFFSIDE. ok. - KENJI BROKE UP W HER?? alright were getting dinostar then right - ^ christ man i am too good at guessing these things - DARIUS NOT KNOWING HOW CLIMBING ROPES WORK LMAO - okay B&Kenji were cute im gonna miss them - but Brooklynn ignoring him,,, JUSTIFIES IT. I GET IT KENJ OK - POOR KENJI??? WTF??????????? - OH GODFFDHGFBV AND BEFORE HER DEATH TOO WHY - OKAY i get that i should pay more attention to the dinostar crumbs and all but all i feel rn is sympathy for kenji. hes been done wrong ENTIRELY in this scenario and just. man. - HTEY GOT BUMPY

episode 5: - aiaiai darius babY PLEASE - make them COMMUNICATE. PKEAFEEE - kenji calls ds mom more than he does whagthehellman - SAMS STILL CALLING YAZ AGHHH - OK THE TEARS IN HER EYES STOP IT - her and 'benjamin' bickering AHH - SHES SOOOO GIRLBOSS I LOVE LVOE HER - WTF THAT GUYS AN ASSHOLE?? - aaand THEYRE FREEING THE DINOS! - FHUCkin daniel kon - AHH THEYRE SO CUTESY - BEN SUSPECTING SAMMY. AND JUST SAMMY. WHAT THE FUCK - 'but i promise, I do trust you. now.' OOOHHHH MY SWEET SWEET DUDEEE. FUCK U - i get WHY i GUESSS, with his paranoia and all but thats an ASSHOLE move - daniel and kenji ermmbnbgvjsdk - HES TRYING TO MANIPULATE HIM AGAAAINN DUDE ITS GETTING BORING - w6AT. TF. KENJI - ooh the good ol dino chase!! - SAMMY BEING A GOOD FIGHTER AWHGHH - WFAH THAT SCARED ME - ok they made up!! - I KNEW THIS GUY WAS AWFUL - OKAYYYYY KENJ YESSS TALK ABOUT IT!!! FINALLYYYY COMMUNICATIONNNN - YESWSS AHDJFSN THEYRE TALKING - I LOVE THIS SO MUCH TEARS FLOWING DOWN MY CHEEKS AHFGDS - I HATE THIS FUCKING GUY AIGERG SDFJ - YES KENJI GO OFF BITCH!!!!!! - brooke… whatttth, - TF WAS SHE DOING - OH MY FUCKING GOD THE SCREAM I SCREAMT WHEN I SAW THIS DINOSAUR CONTROLLING PERSON NIGHTMARE FUCKING FUEL - WHAT THE FGUCK WHYS SHE SO UNCANNY VALLEY I LITTERALLY JUMPED AND MOVED AWAY IMMEDIATELY - oh he doesnt die :( - still WHO IS THAT?? - oh he does die :) - fr tho - KENJI POOR BABY IM SO SORRY. as if he didnt go through enough already.. - WHY TEHGFHBVCKJS OH WHO ARE U U EERIE FUCKIN - is kenj having a panic attack!!!! - BCFHSDKJFBJKDBFKJVX THEYRE SO CUFKING SCARY WHY ARE THEIR MOVEMENTS SO MECHANICAL - KENJI SAYING お父さん NOW I AM DDYING. I WILL NOT RECOVER.

episode 6: - SHITTTT YAZ'S HEREEE - ohhhh fuck shes dealing with A LOT - DARLING U OK??? - THE FLASHBACKS ARE TERRIFYING - shes so pretty!!!! - BROOKLYNN BITCH WHTWS FD - THEYRE SOOOOO CUTEEEEE - I LOVE HOW YAZS MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES HAVE BEEN AND STILL ARE PORTRAYED - I'm SO glad to see her dealing with everything and slowly getting over some of her trauma - ooh ok YAZ AND SAMMY - THEYRE SO HSGDIUF - okay so the solution to the problem is. TALK. its just. TALK TO EACH OTHER. - AWHH OK SHES NOT READY I SUPPOSEE - SHIT sam bb i get protecting the ones u love. but u shouldnt hide things from ur gf just so she doesnt feel bad. especially things so huge. - AND YAZ. babygirl. you shouldn't avoid your gf if shes doing something ure uncomfortable with. you shouldn't ignore her and make her feel bad abt it. YASAMY. THIS IS AN INTERVENSION. TALK TO EACH OTHER. ACTUALLY. PLEASE - ^ this is me showing how much im loving this storyline. VERY annoyed. love angst in fav ships. GOTTA HAVE SOME SPICE ONCE IN A WHILE I GET IT - ^^ but if they break up im killing myself - sammY PLEASEEFH DONT ASSUME JUST TALK. PTSD/MENTAL HEALTH IN GENERAL ISNT THAT SIMPLE - theyre both doing wrong things AND I JUST AGHHH -ALTHOUGHH when they finally DO communicate itll be SOO satysfying - EEEE HERE THEY AREEEEEEE - awkward. a little. BUT SWEET - OK NO I CHANGED MY MIND THEYRE SOOOO CUTEEEE - and ben and yazs friendship AGHGHHHG - therapy island. awh okayy!! - YAZS SO PASSIONATE I LOVE IT - 'ohohohhh… let me show u!… benny boy' - this is GOOD. it IS impressive!! - SAMMY STOP IT - YES YASMINA TALK ABOUT IT - I AM LOVING THIS OH MY GOD - JESUS CHRIST BEN - NAH WHAT THE FUCK - WHY. BENJAMIN. - yasammyyyyyy i love u to hell and back WHY R U LIKE THIS - ben&yaz bonding!!!! - YEAHHH SHES HAPPY FOR UUUU - THE BESTIESSSS - OH MY GOD THE FUCKING DINOSAURS ALWAYS RUIN EVERYTHING - ohhh this isnt good!!! - OHHKAY THE GUYS DEAD WHAT THE FUCK - jumping car scene count: 3 - 'big bens got moves' SHE SAID THE LINE - i feel like DPW is gonna play a bigger role in this - ^AND IM RIGHT. - WGAT THE FUCNK

episode 7: - OHKAY WHATS GOING ON - theyre up buttt….. what the hell r they gonna do. they either drown or get eaten by a dino. - YASAMMMYYYYY I MISSED U SO MUCH - AND THEYRE SPEAKING AND SHJOWING AND HFUDSI - okay KENJIS HABING A PANIC ATTACK I AM - quick break to say the mental health representation and how its done in this show is one of the best examples on how to portray mentally unwell characters I've seen lately - WTF DOES THIS GUY HAVE TO DO WITH THIS - bens soggy van is what ure complaining about rn guttierez??? - OK THE SCENE OF BS DEATH I CANT IM SOBBING - them both reaching for the phone ok. - THEYRE ALIVE, - YASAMMYS BACK OFFICIALLY PEOPLE I AM SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP - ben respectfully i love u but that van wouldve died of old age in a matter of a week - SHE HAD A PLACE - he finally got to throw them phones away - I AM SCREAMING OVER THESE YASAMMY MOMENTS IM AHGFSFJSV - 'oh i am so gonna hunt them from beyond the grave' yasmina fadoula will u marry me - oh right they dont have their phones so theyre not gonna be able to find each other - ok so if im picking up what theyre putting down correctly brooklynn was investigating illegall DPW dinosaur dropoffs?? - cant tell if kenjis coming to terms with it or being jealous - WHAT THE FUCK OK SHE EITHER GOT REALLY INTO THAT INVESTIGATING OR SHES ACTUALLY WENT CRAZY - ok this kenji sequence questioning scene was amazing

episode 8: - wgat the aHELL wr they doin - ok darius and kenji awkwardly connecting. good - ^and darius being protective around kenj over brooklynns phone since he left so many voicemails that he doesnt want him to hear? jesus christ man - OKAY my favourite little trio in a truck with a dinosaur chat do we think theyll survive this - tbh the amount of times in these kids lives where the probablity of survival was scary low is. er. sad - ^ not only for them cause of trauma and stuff but for the random bg characters - dude dies after seeing a dino ONCE but six random kids? yeah theyll survive DOZENS without help - quickly ill just say we need a name for the lesbians and their emotional support muscle wall. their dynamic is superb - the kenji and brooklynn video I LOVE THEM - BABYTALK - . POOKIE BEAR. KENJI WENJI. - shit fuckballs they're fighting again - darius. just. talk? - YES THIS IS GOOD TOO THIS IS GOOD - that CAN be a coping mechanism i GUESSS - what. who r u - DPW BOSS? - YEAH I THOUGHT THEYD FALL FOR THAT AGAIN THANK GOD - YOU WERE IN WHAT WITH WHO NOW - ^WHAT THHFSDN - ^^I WAS EXPECTING THIS HIGHKEY BUT STILL - ^^^ its good that he told kenji about this - ^^^^ and its GREAT that kenji's understanding - is this THE video??? - SHE IS WHAT NOW - maybe this is how they get to take these dinos away?? by pretending the dinos are dead in the face of the law?? - 'ooh heyyy!. boo.' I LOVE U GUYS - it IS the video. - OK BUT A LITTLE BIT LONGER - if i was in dariuses place i would NEVER recover - KENJI RESPECTFULLY DON;T - ^DONT BLAME HIM???? - please dont let this be the scary lady - YEAH KENJ ATLEAST URE RESPECTFUL - whats going on with bumpy. - YASAMMMY I WANNA INJECT U INTO MY VEINS - SHESAIDTHELINESHESAIDTHELINE - ^ 'wanna make a little chaos?' WHAT IF I DIE. WHAT IF I DIE YASMINA. WHAT THEN. - 'maybe. maybe not!!!!' BABIES?? - r the dinos drugged or controlled with the same method the inhumane ladys using - ^or are they tranqued out of their minds. idk. - OH SHIT? THEY SHOULDNT KILL AT THE WATERING HOLE guess it isnt really that is it - BENJAMIN NO

episode 9: - now SAMMYS anxiety's spiking - ok bens gonna not die hopefully?? - i love them stalking. the little creepers. hehe - BUMPER CARRR WHATS GOING ON - ^ is she drugged or smth :((( - ^^^maybe shes pregnant?? but idk idk i dont think so - ^^^^ fucking forshadowing - ^^^^^ i sincerely hope its more positive than im thinking - COMMUNICATION!!!!!!!! YESSSS!!! - theyre the cutest!!!! Yasammy charades level teamwork!!!!! - ok i love both the teams - kenji and darius sticking up for each other despite everything. DO THEY WANNA MAKE ME SUFFER - the kon puns im crying - KENJI HELPING DARIUS CLIMB IM SCREAMING - ok quick intermission i LOVE yazs design shes so cute - hndsgjkb JUST FIND EACH OTHER ALREADY - BENJAMIN CMON U GOTTA SAVE HER - 'Are you dying?' WHATRF ESDGUHKUFDGKJBFDXBFVGBUFIDCFGVBKJSDXBC K EFAHBUISDAGEBDBWAUISDFK - ^ NO - ^^ NO - ^^^ NOOOOOOO - WHATTTTTFDSDGJBMGDF - SHE CANT BE - ILL SOB MY EYES OUT I SWEAR TO GOD - BEN HIDING AND CRYING I - I FEEL U IM DOING THE SAME EXACT THING RN - OKAY THEY KNOW NOW - yaz&sammy&kenji&darius reunion1!!!!1! - ^ AND WHERES BEN - BUMPY. U STRONG STRONG WOMAN. I WANT U TO KNOW THAT IF U DIE. I WILL TOO. - IM GONNA KILL MYSLEF/.

(this i fear is where i realise that im going insane)

- CREEPY MICRO BANGS IS AN AMAZING NAME FOR UNCANNY VALLEY WOMAN YEAH - yeah atp i think weve all figured out its an illegal dino selling business - wGAT - yeah WTF WAS SHE DOING - 'no talk. come quick. bumpys dying.' IM FUCKING DYING TOO!!!!!!!! FUCK THIS SHIT OH MY GOD - BUMPER CAR DO NOT. PLEASE. DONT. - WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK I WAS RIGHT - ^ WTF WTF I - thats an egg. - DONT THINK ABOUT IT BUD.

episode 10: - these kids r so traumatised they do not need this - IS SHE RLY DEAD…. - ok so its two separate factors i think?? DPW on one side, creepy micro bangs on the other. right? - ^ this is delving DEEP into the mystery factor… - BEN WTF!!!!! DONT JUST??? DO THAT???????? - OMFG SHES HERE - ^ I HATE HER IHATEHERIHATEHER - SHES WHY THE DINOS R ACTING WEIRD - WHY IS SHE SO FUCKING UNCANNY I CANNOT - ^ SHES LIKEA CARNIVORE DINOSAUR IF IT WAS A HUMAN - ok so SHES the real boss. the unresponsive. wide eyed. controlling dinosaurs. microbangs. woman. - SWHE KILLED BROOKLYNN. - ^ WHAT THE FUCK. - im ngl i DID kinda dig her vibe but AFTER HEARING THIS I JUST CAngfijbdsuif FUCK U - who THE HELL - GET UR FREAKY ASS BOB AWAY - BRUH PUT THAT FUCKING WHISTLE DOWN - IM GOING TO HAVE NIGHTMARES OVER THIS LADY - WHAT THE - theyre way too lucky who the hell is driving that truck - i feel like atleast ONE of them shoulda got injured in that fall - OH MATEO!!!! HI BB - OOP CREEPY BANGS DEAD YIPPEE - AND THEYRE ALL GOING BAZONKAS?? BC SHES UNRESPONSIVE I PRESUME? - ALWAYS THE MFING RAPTORS - okay theyre definitely coca in the loca - WGAT TJR FJCUK EPIC EXPLOSION TYRANNOSAURUS REX - ^ R U SLASH J OR SRS RN - JESUS I LOVE THESE KIDs - where's yaz. - SAMMY!!! - 'Hey, Stripey! Leave. My girl. Alone!' YTHIS IS WHY I HATE THIS FUCKING SHOW /affectionate - AND THE ALMOST KISS HALF HUG IM KMS - WHY R THEY LIKE THIS - HES LETTING THE ALLOSAURUS OUT???? HUHHHHHHH - DARIUS BOWMAN. - IS HE - IS HE FUCKING - SERIOUS RN - jesus christ this BOY. this BOY man. - DIE - DDDDIIIIIEEEEEE - what tf!!!! the broker??? - we still dont know the creepy bangs name…. - so we're getting a 2nd season right - AWW YASAMMY SHOT - HWRFIUSDHGSFDKHAWVBSDXCZKJLGDHSFKLJGBJKESRDFJ - WHYSDHIFUJDIGVBDFS - WHEN I TELL U I JUMPED I MEAN I JJJUUUUMMMMPPPEEEEDDDD - THIS EERIE ASS BITCH KEEPS ON SHOWING UP WHEN I DONT EXPECT IT - DONT GET ME WRONG - PEAK CHARACTER DESIGN - AND THE LOOK ITSELF IS RLY CUTE AND ALL - BUT IF I SAW A BITCH THAT LOOKED AND BEHAVED LIKE THIS I WOULDVE SCREAMED MY INTESTINES OUT AND RAN ALL THE WAY TO AUSTRALIA - THE CREEPIEST CHARACTER IVE SEEN IN YEARS IM AFRAID - oh she still cares about her dinos!!! this makes her a little more human - a little less scary - ok - her movements r less mechanical more affectionate now - less hvfudignb BIGBFI SHE JUST TURNED - thank GOD shes gone - theyre me - 'well that was… unnerving' WELL SAID - YASAMMY HUG!! - YEAHHHH THE LOOK!! - the regular schmegular 'let's save the day' speech. we gotchu darius!! - GASPPP - ok so UNREQUITED dinostar - OH MY GHRHSIUDF THATS SO FUCKING SAD - DARIUS MY BABY I - YEAH!! SHOW UP!!!!! - ofc they are????? - it IS a very brooklynn thing to fo - you kon count him in too!!! - LMAO MATEO I LOVE YOU - YUP YUP BUMPER CAR NEEDS CARE AND SAFETY - IS THIS THE END??? - please give me atleast one more cryptic scene - OH SHES IN ON IT TOO?/BG - bgiudsfgtbfseruifdgkdfx - I FUCKING TOLDF U - I TOLD U ALL - I SAID IT FIRST - HGIUDFSOI;GT;ERASFOICXLBVNIPGRSD - SHE LOST AN ATM - SHES ALIVE - THIS IS WHAT IVE BEEN FUCKING TALKINHG ABOUT - TOLD U SHE COULDNT BE DEAD I MEAN. ITS BROOKLYNN.

(ok all in all. this was. an experience. gonna leave it at that and go take a nap)

[lanawinterscigarettes]

omg baby tiny request you don't have to write loads for this or not at all but i saw this on your feed and like, a little comfort fic clara x fem reader (atp for both me and sparkle we're the clara crew now)

'humming a song to calm them down'

maybe reader curls in clara's lap after work and starts crying or something (bonus points if they try to pretend theyre ok and then break down at an 'what's wrong?' and you can see the tears fill in their eyes), omg and the swaying someone hurting in your arms as you hum or sing to them i would FOLD

anyway thanks in advance if you do it no worries if you don't we just all need a comfort fic in our lives

xoxo

- ⭐

I'm guessing you didn't have a good day recently, which makes me feel so sad for you :(( I'm sending you a massive virtual hug, and I made this my priority to get finished so you could be comforted as quickly as possible <3 (kind of off topic but the clara crew is such a cute name for you and sparkle anon)

this is the original post for those who are curious

In Her Arms (Clara Oswald x fem reader)

Warnings: hurt/comfort, reader had a bad day (though why specifcally isn't mentioned)

The day had been awful, and you didn't want to have to think about it for a single moment more. All you wanted to do was get home and see your girlfriend, Clara.

She was sitting on the couch with a cup of tea when you entered the flat, though her smile at your presence instantly slipped into a frown when she noticed just how upset you were.

"Hey, love," she cooed in a low voice, trying not to startle you. "How was work?"

You simply let out a quiet grunt in response as you kicked off your shoes and slipped off your coat, making your way over to where she was.

"That bad, huh?" She let out a sympathetic sigh, opening up her arms to you. "C'mere, love. Let me hold you for a moment, maybe you'll feel better."

Nodding, you moved to sit next to her, melting into her touch as she pulled you in close.

You were both quiet for a moment as she held you before she pulled away a little and gave you a warm, reassuring smile. "There, see? Don't you feel a bit better?"

It was hard to keep everything in, and you could feel the weight of the day push down on you further and further. "No," you choked out as you voice cracked, tears welling up in your eyes.

The smile on her face fell, and she immediately pulled you back in again so that you pressed right against her. "Oh, love, what's wrong?" She gently murmured the question in your ear, that being the one thing that caused the dam inside you to break as everthing came pouring out all at once.

Her arms wrapped around you in a tight and protective embrace as you sobbed into her shoulder, unable to keep it in any longer than you had. "Shh, love, shh, it's okay, I've got you now," she muttered in a soothing tone as her hands went to your back, rubbing the area in comforting circles as she began to hum.

The sound of whatever sort of melody that was coming from her helped to calm you down, and you allowed her to hold you there as you sat curled up in her lap. She continued to hum the tune in your ear while she began to rock you back and forth, stopping to press the occasional kiss to your face.

You let out a shaky sigh while blinking back a few stray tears. The day had been awful, but things felt a bit better now that you were in her arms.

End notes: I know this is a bit short but I hope you enjoyed it regardless star anon 🫶

Likes < reblogs | comments are greatly appreciated | requests are currently open

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[thornswoggled]

its 107 time. back in the saddle. lets ride

a 29-pager. we get these. you gotta read it slow. makes it last longer

ALICE MOMENT!!!!!! HELLOOOO ALICE HELLO ALICE HELLO ALICE HELLO ALICE HELLOOOO

as i understand it taking paid leave in japan is kind of a whole to-do so makes sense why theyre spending so much dialogue on it

misread renfreds flashback dialogue as alices own thoughts and said "whoa, she finally accepted that hes her dad." incorrect buzzer sound

the jump to torrey appearing is hilarious. yes, torrey will DEFINITELY go behind his back lmaooooo

another title page mainstay genre returns: chise and ruth meandering somewhere. cant go wrong with the classics

second time in the span of several chapters torrey has walked down a long hallway with a child and given them a cryptic life lesson. i imagine if youre reading these back to back as an archival reader it will feel like "didnt i already read this scene"

chise texted alice aaooouuuuugggghhwwwooooo and alice got a present for her what if i pull my hair out what then

yeah i could have guessed philomela was getting adopted. hopefully everyone (read as: everyone in-story, not everyone online) will stop assuming she and rian are love interests since they both seem annoyed by it. and theyre both gay. who said that

return of the hospital scrub swag for chise

"we're not adults yet," yes yes yes we get it, your acknowledgement of reality is appreciated and noted

the tiny family tree is cute

i like that philomela isnt always wearing her prosthetics. i wonder if she was asked to remove them for their tests or whether she has a very alchemist-minded attitude of "i need to remind myself of my mistakes and take responsibility for them." whatever the case i like the detail

elias' "no im good" hes too funny help

"i might need to leave the college for a while" man i told yall her ass isnt going to be studying. girl help youre going to fail and youre only auditing

wait. confused about the finger situation. she bought new fingers when they went to the prosthetics guy. the muryans complimented her on them afterward. but i guess shes waiting on new ones she ordered? so was the other set she was wearing a placeholder? guess it doesnt matter that much. i like the gloves isaac made her. seems like itll be easier to draw lol

i love it when yamazaki draws elias in such a way that he looks like hes wearing a paper bag over his head

so the investigation starts at the end of march. seems to line up weather-wise for the dramatic confrontation with lindel based on what chises wearing in that scene. i wonder if after chises birthday theyll skip ahead to that point in time or if we will just see a bunch of milling around until then

elias has opinions about guns. interested in chise bringing the topic up given how strict gun laws are in japan. could house st george not hotwire a doohickey 9000 and blow a hole out the red dragons chest etc etc sorry low-hanging fruit

this page feels full of awkwardly machine-translated lines. i have to reword dialogue bubbles in my head in a way that sounds more natural. annoying to do

lil fella reminds elias of alcyone. it could be that it was created by someone, then? i noted before that its stony/crystal texture looks like the things comin off of the new mages head. and the new mage is waiting to "meet him," whoever "he" is. related?

"is it someone's creation?" oh okay so i just typed that out before reading the next panel. good. at least im understanding the implications

BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK. GRRRRRBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK JBARK BARK

i was WONDERING not too long ago if elias knew chise had a brother. i thought it had been mentioned in chapter 17 or something but couldnt be assed to go check. her never bringing it up is sooooooo...

wait okay i just went back. it was chapter 19. she DID tell him. so he literally just forgot about it. i guess the drama of almost wiping her memory overshadowed it

the last time chise mentioned that she doesnt know where her brother is was chapter 86. not that ive been counting

ANSWER THE QUESTION CHISE!!!!!!!! DO YOU MISS HIM!!!!!!!!!!!! IM GOING TO PUNCH DRYWALL

you rewatched your memories when joseph "bullied" you like, a year ago. you can do the math figure out contextually how old yori i mean fumiki would be cmon

BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK

SILKY!!!!! okay i thought this might be what she was doing but like. how did she do that

i guess she doesnt trust that theyll be coming back regularly. she is so fucking funny

return of selkie boy

omg meg is the person the new mage watched get eaten

oh goddamit it i thought the slider had more on it. this always happens to me i always think theres more pages than there are

so i wonder where we will pick it on in 108. are we gonna return to stella and ashen eye i wonder. or maybe we will see meg get eaten. and maybe the new mage. idk. yamazaki loves vore, so

this chapter feels like a bridge thats just kinda laying out the groundwork for stuff thats gonna happen. it reads sort of like a syllabus. philomelas family stuff is "answered," we know when the investigation starts, more yorimiki teasing, and now we are being gently reminded that Selkie Nathan exists. i wonder if this is yamazakis solution to things being dropped for chapters and chapters on end. it has been a long time since i read tamb in real time... i used to wait for the fan translations to hit maigo a month after it came out in japan. so i dont really remember what it was like before. but i do think she is earnestly trying to make sure stuff stays fresh in our heads month to month since not everyone is an insane chronic re-reader like my ass is. given that we got hildas convo with lindel immediately, i have to imagine we will go into ashen eyes/new mage/vore territory next time

[zokimaga]

I need to compile my thoughts about all the kinds of fight club action figures i have found because it just fascinates me soo much ??!! i am literally digging so deep and THERES SO MANY????

okay so THE FIRST ONES I’VE FOUND, are the ReAction figurines !

I MEAN ?? THEYRE ALRIGHT I GUESS.  No idea why there’s like, two Tylers ToT ??  Marla looks so depressed and Narrator looks like he just smelt the stench of a dumpster. Tyler ?? completely emotionless?? THEY JUST ALL LOOK SO SO INSANE,,,,

F..FUNKO POPS,, :(

nooo, i dont, i dont like them the look so dumb :( but i mean atleast Narr has a lil penguin buddy thats cute

CRAFTONE ACTION FIGURE ????

TYLER "FIGHTER" DURDEN ??? idk his head looks a lil dumb but in a cute way i guess. his pants are just SO VIOLENTLY RED..

Fish bone toys Tyler

He looks alright. i really love the detail on his clothes :D !

WHATEVER THE FUCK KIND OF HELL THIS IS

I DOUNF HIM ON EBAY AND I THINK IT MUSTVE BEEN CUSTOM BUT HE JUST LOOKS SO BAD.,, IM SO SORRY IM- this aint Tyler Durden this is Tommy Burden,,,

THE INIME FIGURINES

With iminime i am NOT 100% sure if all of them are the same manufacturer but these images popped up and they seem to be similar quality. and i REALLY LOVE HOW ITS THE LYE SCENE SHIRT???

DREAM WORKS PRODUCTION?

HIM SMILING ?? i've only found promotional images of these </3 HES SMILING THOUGHT !!! WITH HIS SILLY CIG !!! ??

BLITZWAY TYLER DURDEN

THIS IS BY FAR LIKE THE BEST OF THE BEST TBH !?!?! AND THE FACT YOU CAN UNDRESS HIM ?? imagine him just sitting on ur shelf or smth in his little chair !!! WHY HE COMES W A SHOWER THOUGH i do not know.

I've also found some images with (iminime?) narrator figurine too !!

In conclusion i do not have any money to buy any of these. Also the manufacturer names get thrown around so often here and there that i am kind of unsure which figurines are which actually. Not that it would matter because they're all out of production and WAY TOO PRICY.

There might be mistakes on this post because info is very hard to gather :( !! The higher quality ones i assume were limited run or custom made ?

[acheronist]

HI ISABEL i was thinking abt ur beechey boys + peglar/armitage extended cinematic universe while doing my laundry earlier (<- normal guy behaviour) and now i'm curious if u've thought of any actors/face claims for them – beechey boys especially bc we don't even have terror versions to use lol 👀🎤

HI GENEEEE 🖤 this is interesting.... honestly i've never been very good at fan casting shit because my default is always just going "x character should be played by riz ahmed" which ummmm would not work here i fear.

anyways everyone watch out there's gonna be mummy images below the cut

okay i really don't care about actors enough to do this well ummm LMAO johnny bertchtold YOU🫵🏻 are now john shaw torrington!! except johnny's way too tall and also ripped to be jorts.... i will say tho, as annoying as the john torrington/david young erasure is in the amc show, they did kind of nail it with alfie kingsnorth... now that's a skinny blonde bitch who looks half dead! he's got the right big round eyes + prominent cheekbones as jorts

if we could get some mutton chops and the uniform of a royal marine private onto ferdinand kingsley i think he'd be fantastic as william braine..... actually now that i'm looking at this i kind of feel like a genius for this one LMAO??

john hartnell is a little harder because i've already decided in my heart that this daguerreotype is 100% undeniably him even though the chances of it are actually probably very low. in actuality. but i have tried to match up the daguerreotype "hartnell" with the mummy hartnell and i do think it's a super close match.... i just wish mr. daguerreotype hadn't tucked his hair over his ear so i could compare the shape of john's ear.... but anyways there is actually one bg dude from terror amc who i have also kind of decided could be jarts!!! he was one of the dudes who voted to stay on terror and die there instead of out on the shale before everyone abandoned ship... he's got the right haircut for it <3 but also i think rob james-collier could be kind of a slay for jartnell if we can get him back to his downton abbey prime

and then thomas morgan hasn't really made his debut in the beechey boys cinematic universe (yet. chapter two still cooking......) and we also haven't exhumed HIM so this is really just like throwing a dart and calling it good. i did draw a little version of him here tho . so do with this as you will i guess. me when i'm just making up whatever the fuck. he should be kind of sickly looking as well though because my dude was going THROUGH it (+ he had one million pre existing conditions) before he died.

and for like... henry & thomas theyre much more nebulous in my brain..... maybe i'll try and draw them later!? i did do fanart here of henry tho but i fear it's got a heavy amc casting influence on what he looked like.

real life facts: thomas (5'9") is 2 inches taller than henry (5'7"), henry probably had broad/strong arms and shoulders due to climbing around in the rigging for his whole career, both of them had brown hair, and thomas was older than henry enough that he was probably starting to get salt-and-pepper grey during the miserable stressful parts of the expedition. henry's id papers describe his complexion as "sallow" and based on how many captains said he had a shitty/indifferent/bored attitude while working leads me to believe my king had chronic resting bitch face + looked vaguely exhausted and pale and unwell even when he was healthy.

also in my heart amc nailed it with giving thomas curly hair tho... charlie kelly is cute to meeeeee... unfortunately he isn't 40 years old enough. no source no facts anyways i just want to believe in curly girl armitage supremacy. ALSOOOO in my heart (again) henry has sailor tattoos-- HOLD FAST on his knuckles for good luck in the ropes + two swallows on his chest under each collarbone to mark his 10,000th mile at seas. i forgot what i was talking about. i think do think k*vin g*thrie's face was honestly too conventionally attractive for henry though. i just know my man was mid as fuck. frown lines from scowling, ink stains on his fingers at all times, never worn sunblock ever, thinks splashing water on his face counts as moisturizing etc.... MY henry peter peglar is pretty weather-beaten and looks like a mean cunt and sometimes he snarls at people like a badly trained dog. amen.

[lilmissasap]

percy jackson brain-rot as i begin the books again

as someone whos hopelessly devoted to the workings of rick riordon i absolutely never understood percabeth

like,

they're literally 12, children, CANNOT LEGALLY DRIVE OR CONSENT TO SEX at the end of the og series (chalice of the gods) and niggas really out here shipping the fuck outta them

shit dig hard enough on a03 and there's prolly smut of the two of em

never understood it, like i get a cute lil mutual pining thing where they both like each other but a whole ass ship never made sense. like no, the two don't make babies. why? CUZ THEYRE BABIES THEMSELVES

edit:

okay to clear things up cs people are in the comments saying i don't know what a ship is (i'm literally a fanfic writer on here but okay)

i'm just saying that these are literally little kids in middle school. i'm not saying that middle school kids don't have relationships, but it's still weird. and from, i'm boutta geek out about this incredibly obscure topic i'm sorry, a developmental standpoint middle grade children are nowhere near psychologically ready to be in a relationship which is why it's extremely rare to see couples who have been together since middle school (that one episode of abbott elementary). if you go on tiktok and look for people who broke up with someone they were in a relationship with from middle school- high school, those breakups are traumatic

all breakups are traumatic in some way, but there have been several people who have developed traits of borderline personality disorder because they broke up with someone they had been romantically involved with since middle school.

also let's not forget how warped your view on intimate relationships go (fucking. imma say it the way you think about fucking is skewed). the people i've spoken to who broke up with their middle school partner in their older parts of high school have recounted just how awful their view on sex was, some have even pondered if they were asexual because they couldn't picture themselves up under anyone else.

like i get it, it's cute to see little kids who like each other, but most of this fandom are of age to drive, to study for the SATS/gsces, some are able to legally drink in the united states, or applying to college. these are little baby children that high school students and young adults should not be playing match maker for. ALSO WALKER SCOBELL IS IN MIDDLE SCHOOL/ HIS FIRST YEAR IN HS HE WAS BORN IN 2009.

anyway,

i get it, we all have head canons, but shipping two middle schoolers who a) may or may not have started puberty b) did not stay at one school for too long c) don't know trig formulas d) may or may not have had their first period/ voice dropped/ you get the picture.

SO

i don't understand percabeth as a whole romantic ship, but mostly as a fluffy little middle school flirty thing (prolonged eye contact, stealing hats, asking if they can hug/kiss at a certain time, etc.)

i love love love the concept of seaweed brain and wise girl, smartwater, percabeth, whatever, I THINK THEY'RE ADORABLE but i don't understand the draw of why people feel the incessant need to make it extremely romantic. like why why whyyyyyyy. can we js let them be kids, because lets be real a lot of the newer additions to this fandom only know about the show (and its okay we love you guys anyway its just that some of us have read the books too, its not required for you to love the show that you need to read the books) and are already talking about 'annabeth and percy need to just kiss already' no they don't. cs percy just lost his mom (i know something you dooonttttttt) and our cutie patootie annabeth is still lowkey a mystery (i'm guessing?? idk i haven't watched the show yet i think im gonna pirate it soon or smth, im js assuming because idk what point the show is at in relation to the first book), etc. can we maybe not make them a whole ass ship until the show is in relation to the last few books of the series. lets js let them be kids for now.

AND THIS IS NOT TO SAY THAT I DIDN'T LIKE WHEN THEY WERE AN ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP IN THE LATER BOOKS OKAY ITS NOT TO SAY THAT im just saying that i didn't understand the concept of percabeth within the first few books because it was a little wonky to really really want two twelve year olds to be in a relationship. they're cute when its in the last few books but come on yall. lets not ship them yet. also report any smut you see of them that's not cool or rick riordon approved.

theyre still babies, even if some of the fandom has read all of the books and others didn't.

does this make sense?

xoxo,

rae <3

[technicalknockout]

What were some of your favourite pages in the book?

god thats a hard one jsnfjksdk the entire book is so good but i do have my favorites. heres an entire list

silly straws page - i read in 'dipper and mabel's guide to mystery and nonstop fun' that bill likes silly straws and thought it was a silly random tidbit, imagine how surprised i was when i realized there was LORE behind it.. im still figuring out some codes bc i dont wanna look them up and im having so much fun !!

stanford trying to keep me from reading the book page - "you cant hear the disappointed sigh im making rn, but i assure you it's devastating" i mean he failed to stop me from reading the entire thing in one sitting but i was just very happy to see ford's cursive again. It was really funny seeing him trying to guess what the reader would be convinced by (i saw the moth picture and thought 'whats that called, a goth moth?' I laughed out loud when it turned out that was actually its name)

urban legends page - as a long time fan of creepypasta the references in this page absolutely delighted me. Also the art is so realistically horrifying, whoever drew these i love you

the one true intelligence test - idk this page just made me laugh a lot

Entire anti-cipher society part - i love how instead of telling the story in just plain text, they made us follow the story with newspapers and journal pages. What was that called. I swear there was a name for that kind of storytelling if anyone knows pls pls tell me

every page with ford and fiddleford - BEAUTIFUL. SUBLIME. BEST THING TO EVER EXIST IN THE WORLD. I HECKING LOVE FRIENDS BEING WHOLESOME TOGETHER AND I LOVE IT MORE WHEN THEYRE MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS FROM MY FAVORITE SHOW. THEY MAD SNOWMEN OF EACH OTHER THATS SO CUTE

"but my aim is getting better" - do i need to explain this one

whatever this page is called;

I hated reading this (i loved reading this). i kinda got spoiled before i bought the book with an analysis post, had to literally put my phone down and think about what id just read. i think this page really puts bill and ford's relationship into perspective. ford's a person and bill's a multidimensional semi-god creature, bill will do and say anything in his power to get ford to do what he wants. this relationship cannot even begin to resemble normal. and also the forgetting your own name part horrified me, thats some good horror right there.. love it when books make me have a visceral reaction to tiny words on paper

call transcript from the police - OH the LORE and CHARACTER ANALYSIS FOOD RIGHT HERE. i could talk for hours about how bill straight up sucks at relationships and he's SO unwilling to admit he was upset about falling out with ford that he's lying to himself MULTIPLE TIMES OVER AND OVER and how a lack of genuine connection with people is eating him up - but if i talked about all that this post would spiral into insanity real quick. Also drunk bill talking into the phone was very very sad and very very on character and i could hear hirsch's bill voice inside my head it was really good aghjgnkhhh

stan's page - I ALMOST CRIED AND I KNOW THATS KIND OF A WEIRD REACTION BUT I SAW THE STAN PAGE IN THISISNOTAWEBSITEDOTCOM OKAY AND IT WAS MAKING ME VERY UNWELL I WAS EXTREMELY RELIEVED TO JUST HEAR THIS MAN SO HAPPY AGAIN STANLEY PINES I LOVE YOU YOU DESERVE EVERYTHING

yee that turned out longer than id anticipated jdndjs

overall this was amazing. an entire book written in my favorite character's voice is something i've only ever dreamed of and it's genuinely a frickin honour to have a copy in my house. my bookshelf is 2% more cursed now and i would not have it any other way.

one of these days im gonna black out and there will be a twenty-pages long essay on bill's social life on your feed. i advise you to gently scroll past it without looking.