#like oh i can just vent? and... not be judged? and people will agree with me? and i can find similar people to me??? what is this? heaven???

[stupid-jirai]

I get a feeling where I get super stressed because of life stuff, but then I think about online people and get calmer and excited.

It's definitely not abnormal or weird or smth, but I feel happy knowing I have a safe place on the Internet even when life isn't really as nice as I'd like

(unrelated homura)

[midatwrtr]

Turn back time

LE SSERAFIM Sakura x Male Reader

6.6k words

Tags: Fluff & Smut

It was a chilly night of spring when you met Sakura. You were coming home from a late shift and she was sitting in front of your apartment. Your boss decided to abuse his position again by forcing you to work overtime, using some loophole in your contract as an excuse. You didn’t recognize her at first in the dark, she simply looked like a drunk teenager.

You could have ignored her, walked right past her, and everything would have been alright, but somehow, you didn’t. 

“Hey, are you okay?” you asked her, walking closer. She was wearing a pleaded shirt and jeans, while she used a black cap and black mask to cover her face. You made sure not to get too close, she was still a stranger, who knew what she had under her shirt. 

“Mh? What?” she replied with a surprisingly clear voice.

“Oh, I was just checking if you were okay,” you said carefully. “I mean, you’re sitting here alone, in the middle of nowhere…”

“You’re right, it doesn’t look very good, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah,” you answered. “So? Did you drink or something?”

“Oh, no, I didn’t have anything,” she said, mortified. “I was just having…” she sighed. “A bad day. That’s all.”

"Do you want to talk about it?" you asked, the words coming out almost instinctively. You weren't particularly interested, but you understood that she needed someone that listened to her. It was more about offering her a chance to vent than satisfying your own curiosity.

The girl stared at you for a second, dumbfounded.

“I don’t have anything to do tonight anyways,” you added in case she felt guilty.

She thought about it for a second. It was a bit personal but after all, it wasn’t a bad idea. She didn’t even know your name and you didn’t know hers. For all she knew, you were a stranger she could have met on the internet behind an actor’s photo. What were the chances that she’d meet you again? 

“Well…” she started. You crouched down and sat next to her. You could see the moon peaking through the darkened clouds.

“You know, it’s been a rough day,” she said. “It seems like no matter what I do, people always have something to say.”

“Mh, I’m sorry to hear that. Sometimes it does feel like that.”

“Exactly,” she sighed deeply and then she straightened her back. “You know, it’s just so frustrating!” she growled, tensing her hands. “I’ve been doing this for years, and still, there’s always someone saying I’m not doing it right. It’s like they don’t even see how hard I work!”

“That sounds really tough,” you agreed. “People can be so quick to judge.”

“Exactly! They don't see the long hours I put in, the constant pressure to be perfect. They just hear one thing they don't like and suddenly they're experts, telling me how I should do things differently. It's infuriating!

"And the worst part is, sometimes it's not even constructive criticism. It's just mean like they're trying to tear me down. Why do they do that? Can't they see I'm just trying to do what I love? I don't understand why people feel the need to be so harsh!"

“It's tough when people don't see the effort and passion you put into it," you agreed. “But I bet there are still people that love what you do.”

“You’re right, it’s not all that bad. My friends are really supportive and always have been. They remind me why I started this in the first place and keep me grounded.”

“That’s great to hear. It makes a huge difference having people with you.”

“Yes. They're the ones who always believed in me, even when I doubted myself. It's like they see something in me that I sometimes forget” The girl sighed happily. “They're amazing. They are always close to me and help me when it gets too much.”

“It sounds like your friends do a good job of helping you focus on the right things. It's like having a personal cheering squad.”

The girls laughed. “That’s exactly what they are.”

Then she sighed deeply, her demeanor changing. "You know, as supportive as my friends are, I sometimes feel like I'm becoming a burden to them. They're always there for me, listening to my complaints and trying to cheer me up, but I worry I'm dragging them down."

"I doubt they see it that way. Friends are there for the good and the bad times."

"I know, but I can't help but feel guilty. like, how much can they take before they get tired of it?"

"It's natural to feel that way, but real friends don't see you as a burden. They care about you and want to support you, no matter what,” you said. “The important thing is that you’re still working hard. If they see your efforts, they will help you.”

"I hope so,” she said, her voice wavering. “They've never said anything to make me think otherwise, but sometimes I just feel so... needy, I guess. Like, I should be able to handle this on my own and not rely on them so much."

"It sounds like you're being too hard on yourself. Everyone needs support sometimes, and it doesn't make you a burden. It makes you human."

She nodded slowly. “I guess you’re right.”

"If they're there for you now, you've probably been there for them before. It's okay to lean on them. When something happens, you’ll return the favor,” you said. “For example, my friend helped me finish the project. So I bought him a really cool shirt, it was like this Pokemon-themed thing with Charmander and stuff, right? Because he liked Pokemon,” you paused. “But it was two sizes too small.”

The girl giggled. Her laughter bubbled up, bright and infectious.

“God, he looked ridiculous. But it’s alright. He was trying to lose weight anyways, it will motivate him.”

“Yeah, I am sure you did him a favor,” she said joyfully.

“That’s what I am saying!”

The girl recollected herself. "Thanks. I guess I just needed to hear that. It's hard to remember that sometimes, especially when I'm feeling overwhelmed."

You got up, patting your pants off to get rid of the dirt. “Do you want me to help you go back home? It’s kinda late now.”

The girl hesitated for a second. She didn’t know how to answer that question.

“Do you live far away? Do you want me to call a cab?”

“No, it’s not that…” her voice trailed off.

You listened to her silence for a second and understood. “You don’t want to go home, right? How about you stay here for the night? I have a guest room.”

“Well, I don’t want to disturb you…”

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it, it will be just tonight.”

She was a bit hesitant, she didn’t want to impose herself but you were sincere and she accepted the offer. You walked to your apartment, modest and minimal. You didn’t need a lot to live comfortably and you were at the job most of the time anyway.

When she took off her cap and mask, you realized who she was. You chose not to say anything. You didn’t want to scare her away. 

“Are you allergic to anything—?” you asked, you stopped just a moment before saying her name.

“Sakura,” she added. “No, I’m not allergic to anything.”

You quickly made her feel at home, showing her around and offering her a spot at the kitchen table while you prepared a simple meal.

As you cooked, you continued their conversation. She opened up about her life as a singer, and the passion she had for music. You already knew most of it but you wanted to hear it from her, it was much more interesting.

You listened attentively, sharing your own experience at work. It became a healing experience for you. You ate together, enjoying the meal and continuing to talk. You learned about her love for mangas, and how much she played videogames. You were a gamer as well, that’s where most of your money went and why your house was so bare. 

“If I could turn back time…” Sakura said, in the middle of your conversation about her idol life. “I wonder if I’d choose to be an idol again. Maybe I should have become a soloist.”

“Grass is always greener on the other side” you replied. “I’m sure once you’re old, you’ll look back at it and think it was a great experience.”

“I hope so.”

When it got late, you offered her the guest room, fortunately, you kept it clean. She accepted and you said goodnight.

Sakura didn’t feel like a celebrity. You felt like you met a good friend and you wanted to keep it that way. In the morning, you prepared her breakfast and bid her goodbye. You didn’t expect her to come back and neither did she. It was supposed to be a one time thing, to get her mind off.

But a week later, she knocked at the door and you were happy to welcome her.

It started with small exchanges—it was a bit more embarrassing now that you were both conscious of each other. Sakura would sometimes bring her books and discuss them with you, or you would turn on the TV and watch animes together. 

As the days turned into weeks, the conversations grew longer. You talked about her past, your past, your problems. It was a safe space for the both of you, where you could be honest with eachother. Sakura found herself looking forward to these moments with you, your presence becoming a familiar comfort in her life. It became a routine.

Her eyes sparkled everytime she spoke with you and you would always listen to her. You loved the way she spoke with such passion. 

But one day, you had to leave. 

It was your boss again. “I made some arrangements with this company, it’s a big opportunity, you have to leave tomorrow. I already scheduled the flight.” You couldn’t refuse and you didn’t have Sakura’s phone number either. You left in the early morning and didn’t hear from Sakura since.

A week later, you finally came back home. You close the door of your friend’s car and thank him. You take a deep breath, finally the air of your town, you missed it. Taking the stairs, you reach your floor and there she was, standing weakly in front of your door, Sakura.

“Oh my god, Sakura! What are you doing here!” you exclaim.

“You—! You’re back! You asshole why didn’t you say anything!” Sakura rushes to your arms and hugs you tightly. “God, I thought something happened to you! I thought the loansharks kidnapped you.”

“It was just a work trip,” you say. “And sorry I didn’t say anything, I didn’t have your number.”

“Oh. Well, I’ll give it to you right now,” she hurries you. You take out your phone and add her digits. 

“Is that your stage outfit?” you ask her.

“Yeah, I rushed here. I didn’t really feel like changing, I wanted to see you,” she says. Her sentence shocks you. You couldn’t shake off the feeling that there was more to it. You thought about all the little things—how she always seemed to know you were having a rough day, how she always came to you first to vent about her troubles.

You smiled but were worried. It wasn’t like you hadn’t thought about Sakura in that way before. You did plenty of times, but there was always some reason not to pursue it.

“But you didn’t even know that I’d be here,” you comment.

“I felt it.”

“You have a sixth sense, don’t you?” you laugh as you open the door for her.

With a quickly made dinner, you have time to catch up with Sakura. She had a lot to talk about, not only about her members but also all the other idols she met during the shows. She had a lot to vent about, people aren’t as nice as they look.

Sakura offers to clean up the rest of the dinner, which isn’t a lot since you have already cleaned most of the dishes, and in the meantime, you go and take a shower. Cleaning up the remnants of your hastily prepared dinner, Sakura tosses the scraps into the trash bin before wiping the table. Once everything is tidy again, she heads towards the bathroom to take off her makeup.

However, while passing by the bedroom, she finds you lying sprawled across the bed, fast asleep. An odd mix of emotions courses through her veins—it is a combination of fondness and happiness. You look so cute carelessly snoozing with that sleepy face of yours. She wants to join you, to touch you. She wants to do what she sees in the shows, to hold your hand, hug you while you sleep, and kiss you.

Sakura isn’t sure if her feelings are right, especially after everything that has happened to her. She knows to trust you, but to love you? Is she allowed such a luxury? Her mind tells her to steer clear, to not get mixed up in such a troublesome relationship, but she is stubborn.

Her back shivers. Sakura can’t tear her gaze away from your sleeping face. Your soft breaths are like music to her ears, soothing and comforting.

Then you wake up. You look at Sakura through your tired eyes and smile. “Oh, sorry. I fell asleep, didn’t I?” you say, laughing, and Sakura exchanges a smile. “Say, aren’t you tired, Kkura?”

“Mh,” she hums. “A little bit. But you must be—” she trails off, unable to finish her sentence.

“Then join me,” you say, interrupting her. She opens her eyes a little wider as she values your offer. She could find countless reasons not to, but instead, she settles for a place beside you. She awkwardly lies down on the bed, slightly curling her legs and resting her arms close to herself. Her eyes never leave yours, watching your welcoming smile.

“I really missed you, Sakura,” you say. You laugh from the embarrassment, clenching your eyes. “I got so used to your presence that I keep going back to my bags thinking I left something at home.” You pause to take a breath. “I guess it was you.”

Sakura is surprised. She listens to you silently, feeling that warm sensation inside her chest slowly expanding to the rest of her body. “I missed you too,” she confesses.

“The bulgogi at the cafeteria just doesn’t taste the same, you know?” You laugh. Feeling the mattress dip beside her, Sakura becomes aware of your presence. The wave of heat coursing through her veins makes her heart race wildly. Carefully unfolding her legs, she slides closer to you, nestling herself against your warmth, finally accepting your invite. Sakura catches her breath as your arm slips around her waist, pulling her even closer.

“This feels nice,” she says, and you giggle. It is a gentle embrace, completely different from the coldness that she had to endure for the week you were away. She simply lies there, letting the familiar scent of you envelop her, calming her frayed nerves.

“Don’t you want to change into some more comfortable clothes?” you ask Sakura.

“Mh? You don’t want to see me in it?” Sakura replies in a light tone. “You don’t like it?” she teases you.

You keep brushing her soft blonde hair. “No, it’s not that. I think you could be more comfortable in something else… but I don’t mind it at all. Besides,” you swallow your saliva, “it looks really good on you.”

“Oh? How good?” she coos, moving her hair away from the red top. You remember your reaction from earlier: how you choke at the sight of her tight top hugging her pearly white chest, how her toned midriff peeks from her gray pleated skirt, and how all the blood leaves your head. But you can’t say it, of course, and settle for a “Very good.”

“Come on, be more specific!” Sakura whines in annoyance.

“Ten out of ten!”

“You always say that,” she says.

“Because it’s true,” you retort.

“You know what I mean…” she says with a softer tone, looking at you with her typical puppy eyes. There you go. She plays with your feelings again. What are you supposed to feel? Your mind is a mess. She is so adorable, yet so hot.

You sigh. “Well…” you start. “I think you’re terribly hot. You make my head spin every time I see you. And today, you are unbelievable.”

Sakura clings to you tighter, taking refuge in your chest. Her breath comes in short, needy gasps; who knew words could be so piercing? She knows she wants you to say it, but she doesn’t know how it’d feel like.

Shifting ever so slightly, she presses her lower body against yours, finding comfort in her arousal.

“When you say it like that…” Sakura whispers. “Is it too much?”

“Too much for me to handle, that’s for sure.”

Sakura rubs herself against you, her hips moving slowly, riding your thigh. She starts moaning, low groans choked in her throat. She grows more desperate. Your words were turning her on. She wants you to see more of her, she wants your eyes planted on her body, she wants more. Sakura knew this was going to be a mistake, that she should stop before crossing the line, but she couldn’t resist anymore.

“Mh,... is that all?” She asks you once more.

“I have nothing nice to say, believe me,” you admit and Sakura understood perfectly. You finally notice her movements on her leg and you are just as aroused as her. At the same time, you are worried if her intentions were truly honest and if she wasn’t being carried away by the heat of the moment. You knew how impulsive Sakura was.

Swallowing hard, Sakura meets your gaze, refusing to look away. She could see the concern etched on your face, the worry mirrored in her eyes. For a brief moment, she contemplates pushing you away… and then she decides against it. Her hips don’t stop rubbing against you. She keeps holding you. Sakura wanted to know what you felt and what she felt.

Closing the remaining distance between you two, she captures your lips in a firm resolute kiss. 

Caught in the heat of her excitement, you couldn’t do anything else but kiss her back. Moaning against your lips, Sakura loses herself in the feeling of your lips. Rolling on top of you, her arms around your neck, she keps kissing you deeper and deeper. Her skin was warm and smooth beneath your fingers, a stark contrast to the rough texture of your own.

Pulling away slightly, she looks into your eyes. She could see her own pure raw desire reflected back in your eyes. Without hesitation, she guides your hand between her thighs. “Are you sure, Sakura?” you ask one last time.

“I am.” You could feel the moistness around her shorts. She invites you into her panties, into herself. Your fingers trace lazy circles around her swollen clit. She grips your shoulders tightly as the pleasure scatters through her legs. 

Arching her back, Sakura gasps as your fingers effortlessly slipped inside her wet folds. Her muscles tensed and relaxed, spasms of pleasure, drawing you deeper. 

Sakura lets out a high-pitched whine. “Mh!” You hit a sensitive spot inside of her. Waves of pure bliss ripple throughout her body. Her grip on your shoulders tightens painfully as you continue to finger her pussy.

Sakura’s mind spirals out of control leaving her breathless moans. 

“Can I see it?” you ask softly. Painting heavily, Sakura glances down for a moment at her spread legs, catching the sight of your fingers buried inside of her. She shudders at the sight of the messiness of her juices. They coated your hand, dripping down to your wrist and forearm.

She forces herself to meet your eyes to nod quietly. You quickly take of her shorts and underwear and take a good look of her wet lips. Gasping at the cool air, Sakura stared at you with worry as she was revealing her most intimate parts to you. She finds herself even more aroused than before.

With both hands at either side of her vagina, you part her slightly. You look at the droplets of wetness leaving her hole, sliding down her pink flesh, the warm scent invading your nostrils. You take a moment to observe how her muscles twitched but you couldn’t resist any longer. You open your mouth and dip your tongue inside of her.

“I love how you taste, Sakura,” you muffle. “You’re just as good as I imagined.”

Your words make her moan harder. Every finger of lower body tighten at the new sensation. You lick her slowly, spreading your tongue out on her pussy, licking from the bottom to the top, pausing on her clit. You send waves of pleasure to her head, making it difficult for her to remain still. Her legs clamp around your head. Her soft thighs just make it more enjoyable.

You eat her with voracity, making your head up and down. Sakura helps you by stretching her lips further apart with her hands, giving you full access to every inch of her folds. Her walls clench around your tongue, contracting involuntarily. 

You stop for a moment to swallow the liquids piled on your tongue. Sakura can’t wait a single second. “Please continue,” she pleads.

“You want it that bad?” you say with satisfaction.

“Yes,” she admits. “Please, eat me out.” “I will,” you conclude and go back to her pussy. This time, you wrap your lips on her clit and start sucking it softly. You don’t give her time to adjust as your fingers enter her at the same time, fingering her helpless hole. 

Sakura goes crazy. She begs for release. “Ah! Fuck! Don’t stop!” Her fingers dig into your shoulders, leaving bruises all around your back. Lewd wet noises sloppily resonate through your mouth. Moaning your name nonstop, she is pushed more and more to the edge. The orgasm approaches rapidly. With a feral growl, she explodes, wracked by wave after wave of ecstatic pleasure.

Arching her back, she clutches your head, pulling you deeper inside her. Thick liquid drips from her swollen pussy, thick cum flow right into your mouth. Breathless and spent, she collapses back onto the pillows, utterly exhausted but satisfied.

You continue by softly eating up her remaining cum. Watching in disbelief as you eagerly lap up the sticky remnants of their passion, Sakura's breath hitches in her throat. 

“I didn’t know you could do that,” you said and laughed.

“I didn’t know I could do that either,” she repeated, giggling and covering her blushed face. 

Panting heavily, Sakura lays still sprawled across the bed, her body still pulsing with residual with the residual kickback of the orgasm. When you nuzzle your face against her exposed stomach, she moans softly, arching her back invitingly. Her leg itch, the shivers discend to her core. "Mmm…" she murmurs, begging you to continue.

Her fingers brush through your hair. You leave small pecks and smooches on her tone midriff, trailing your lips along the grooves of her abs. Your hands hold her hips, lifting her arched body closer to your face. Her heart swells with tenderness, she’s grateful, you truly care for her and want to make her happy. 

Your head further ascends along her body, stopping at the hem of her top. You look up to her, to her flushed cheeks and clouded eyes, panting heavily. “Can I see them?” you ask her.

She nods, “Yes…” Sakura then sits up to take of her top. It’s a bit complicated, she raises her arms and slowly pulls it off. When she takes of her last layer, you hold your breath. The tube bra finally slips off and her breasts fall down. They are beautiful.

Though not as big as they looked under the clothes, the shape was a lot more inviting. They were slightly saggy, drooping to either sides, with rounded nipples and beautiful pink nipples. There was a mole right on her left breast that you had never noticed. 

You look at her eyes just to be sure and gently grope her breasts. She lets out a small moan, bringing her hands back to open her chest to you. Blushing deeply, Sakura looks down your eager expression, her heart racing. She’s surprised at how excited you were and it made her even more aroused.

“Do you really like them that much even if they’re small?” she asked.

“They are perfect, Sakura,” you said. “And they could’ve been 100 different shapes but I’d still love them, because they are yours.”

Sakura smiled and locked her arms around your back. She's grown accustomed to your touch now and she couldn’t be happier. Her nipples harden beneath your fingers and she struggles to keep her composure. "It’s okay, keep going..." she whispers, her voice barely audible above the rapid beat of her heart.

Leaning in closer, she captures your lips in a heated kiss but you don’t stop fondling her soft breasts. She falls back to the bed and her boobs fall to the sides. Your hands collect them back up and you continue to play with her mounds.

Her body trembles as you continue to knead and tease her sensitive breast, alternating between gentle strokes and firmer pinches. Sakura bites down on her lip, but she doesn’t hide her moans, you love them. 

She had never felt so exposed yet so safe before. She wanted your hands to explore every inch of your body, she wanted you to know every part of her. And now she wanted to see you as well.

“Are you going to take off your clothes?” she asks.

“Oh, yeah,” you answered, only now realizing she was the only one naked. You made it quick, not wanting to make her wait too long. You were a bit embarrassed to show her your body, especially since it wasn’t nearly as toned as hers. However, if Sakura didn’t care than neither should you.

You were also worried about your size. Your hands were both covering your crotch, the head of your penis peeking between your fingers.

Sakura flashed a seductive smile and got closer to you. “Are you really going to hide that pretty cock of yours?” she asks you. Her hand grab your fingers and she peels off your hands. She licks her lips and palms your balls, holding your cock out right on her right hand. She silently looks at it for a second, looking at how hard it was, standing so tall just for her. That’s what she loved. You were hard for her.

And she was wet for you.

“Sit down,” she told you and you obliged, keeping your legs open. With her hand still under your balls, she raised your cock higher, giving her full access to the whole length. And then she was blowing you. With a hand at the base, she wraps your head with her wet mouth, beginning to move her head in slow, circular motions. Her eyes stare right back at you, with her sunken lips, looking for your approval.

Your flushed face is enough for Sakura. She increases the pace of her actions, sucking harder and faster on your rock hard penis. The muscles in her mouth stretch as she takes you deeper than ever before, her cheeks hollowing out with each passing thrust. A thin stream of saliva drips down from the corner of her mouth, mixing with your precum and forming a sticky trail along her jawline. 

She tries her best but she couldn’t take you into her throat. The pleasure was still enough for you to roll back your eyes. Continuing with her sucking and bobbing, the mix of fluids foamed up to a frothy white substance, sloppily falling down her mouth, to her hands, to your crotch.

Feeling you pulling her head down, thrusting your penis roughly into her throat, Sakura gasps for air. Her gag reflex kicks in momentarily, causing her to gag and choke briefly, but she quickly regains control, continuing to work her mouth. 

It could have been only a couple minutes but you couldn’t last any longer. It all came so fast, you couldn’t even warn Sakura that you were already filling her mouth with cum. Your release startled her, she opened her eyes and jolted back, letting the cum spill out to her hands. 

You continued letting out a couple more splurts before you could stop, however you were still twitching maniacally. “Oh my god, sorry Sakura,” you said.

“Oh, don’t worry about it,” she laughed it off. “That’s exactly the reaction that I wanted. Now let me taste this…”

Sakura scooped up all the semen that had escaped her mouth and poured it back inside. With a slurp, the last strings of cum left her palms. She gulped it down and showed you her empty mouth. She let out a satisfied giggle, watching your dumbfounded face. 

“Well, look like that got you hard again, huh?” Sakura said watching your penis coming back to life. “You’re so naughty.”

“You’re the one that just—look at what you just did,” you retorted.

“You’re right…” she agreed. “So? What are you gonna do no? Are you gonna put it in?”

“Do you want to?” you asked.

“I do.”

“Then I’ll do it.”

Sakura laid down on the bed, taking your place. You looked at her, her hair sprawled on the white sheets, her pearly white skin covered in her shiny sweat, her perfectly round breasts drooping down her chest, her creamy thighs. She looked like an angel. You couldn’t believe that you were going to do it with her.

You weren’t the only one. Sakura didn’t want anyone else but you, she’s been thinking about you this whole time and this was going to be the seal of her love.

Sakura opened her legs and let you get closer. With her hand, she helped guiding yourself inside. You sank in with ease. You were forced to blink rapidly and grit your teeth at the new sensation. It was incredibly tight, completely wet, and burning hot.

Your penis stretched her open. She moaned and contorted her face as her vagina opened up to you. Her hand gripped down your forearm with all her might.

“God…” she sighed.

“Are you okay, Sakura?” you asked worryingly. “Does it hurt? We can stop if you want.”

“No, no, it’s not that, we can keep going,” she said. “I just have to get used to it. It’s a bit uncomfortable, that’s all.”

She breathed deeply and pulled on your shoulder, “Please, slowly.” 

“Alright,” you said. You contracted all of your muscles to be as slow as possible, as gentle as you could. You let yourself sink, a millimeter at a time, being extremely careful not to let out any sudden movement. Sakura’s face relaxed as you went in, she stared blankly, giving all her attention to the feeling between her legs.

“Okay, like that… alright, that’s it,” she let you know. “I’m good now. I think.”

“Tell me what to do,” you said.

“Try thrusting it a bit,” she said. You nodded and guided your hips back before slowly thrusting your penis back inside. 

“Oh…” Sakura moaned. She didn’t look in pain, you were glad. “Yep, that’s good. That’s really good. You can keep going.”

You nodded again and started thrusting at a regular pace, still slow. 

Sakura flips around, grabbing the pillow in front of her. You plunge yourself back inside and using your whole weight, you stretch her to the point of bulging her belly. 

Gripping the sheets tightly, Sakura cries out in both pain and ecstasy as you brutally claim her pussy. Her vagina accepts you, stretching wide to accommodate your whole length. Each forceful thrust sends waves of pleasure rippling through her body. 

Her moans become more and more primal. She cries out in ecstasy, muffling the screams into her pillow.

Unable to contain your growing hunger, you move relentlessly at the roughest pace possible, trying to satisfy your lust. Your movements become increasingly frantic, punctuated by your grunts. Every brutal thrust fills her to the brim, making her feel used and ravaged. The bed shakes violently beneath you as your passion escalates, leaving the once pristine linens drenched in sweat and other fluids.

Despite the intensity of your assault, Sakura doesn't fight it—she loves it.

The new pace costs you a lot. After a minute, you’re tired and way closer than before. You breath heavily, slowing down to give the both of you a rest. Sakura is panting and couldn’t even keep her head up.

“Sorry, Sakura, could you turn around another time?” you asked between your heavy breaths.

“Sure…” she replies weakly. “It will be better for me too.”

You groan quietly as you slide back into her. The rest of her body is stretched out on the bed, she’s way too tired to do anything else. You grab her hips and raise them in a prone stance so you can go deeper. It works, she immediately tightens around you so intensely that you feel like you might climax instantly. Her hands clutch the edge of the bed, her moans are free and loud as her face is no longer buried in the cushions. It's clear that she's on the brink of orgasm, and you continue to thrust into her as hard as possible.

You lean forward to place kisses on her neck and shoulder, your body pressing on top of hers as you slow down the pace to a grind. You want her to feel loved and worshipped. She tries to look up at you but the pleasure is so immense that she can only focus on your blurry silhouette. Sakura is so lightheaded that she her words sound drunk and splurred. 

“I—I’m gonna cum,” she says. “Please I want you to cum too!”

A few more thrusts before the dam breaks, her squirt flooding your bed as she moans your name much louder than before.

“I love you!” she screams.

You don’t stop thrusting however as you are also very close to reaching your orgasm. Wrap your hands around her small waist and you can feel her toned abs contracting and relaxing as the spasms of her orgasm keep milking you. Her squirt floods the grooves of her abs, pooling into a shiny mess. 

“I’m really gonna cum now,” you says. “I’m gonna cover you in cum!”

“Do it, please!”

“Fuck!” There was no way you were going to last any millisecond longer and with one final thrust, you spill everything you have been saving on her abs. Ribbons after ribbons of thick sperm cover her tummy, her breasts and some even get to her face.

Sakura lays there, exhausted. She wipes the cum of her abs, playing with it, looking at how the strings of thick cum stretch between her fingers. “It’s really warm,” she comments, with satisfaction. “I made you cum a lot, huh?”

“I thought I was going to pass out,” you admit.

She laughs.“Me too.”

You inhale for a moment. “Let me get you some towels.” You get off the bed and walk to the closet. Only then you notice how sore your legs truly were and you have to hold the door to stand up. You grab a couple from the stack of towels and hand them to Sakura.

“Here you go,” you say and help her stand up. Sakura takes them and slowly wipes her whole body. You could feel some of the remaining blood feeding into your penis but you were too tired to do anything else. So you sat down on the bed, besides her.

“You got work tomorrow?” you asked Sakura.

“No, nothing.”

“That’s good,” you say. “Otherwise the others would have scolded me. I can’t imagine what Yunjin would do to me.”

Sakura lets out a breathy laugh, amused but weary. Her shoulders shake gently, and her eyes though tired, sparkled. “Don’t worry, I wouldn’t tell her.”

“Thanks,” you said and gave her a smile. “Let’s get cleaned up now.”

The two of you sluggishly move around the bathroom. Sakura must have gotten used to feeling tired after all the dance practices but emotional exhaustion was something else. It wasn’t just the sore muscles, she was exhausted from the ecstasy. 

She splashes cool water on her face, and quickly takes off her makeup. You brush your teeth with your eyes half-closed, the toothbrush moving lazily. You exchange tired smiles through the mirror, knowing you are the reason for the other’s tiredness. 

Once done, you shuffle back to the bedroom and drop on the bed.

Sat beside you, disheveled and natural, Sakura looked unreal. Bathed by the pool of the moonlight, she only sat still, but your heart couldn’t stop pounding. She was your world.

You took a deep breath when you remembered her words earlier. “I love you.” That’s what she said. “I love you.” Sure, you were in the heat of the moment, the adrenaline was pumping harder than anything else and she probably didn’t even mean it. Maybe it was a “I love how you make me feel.” Maybe it was just another way to praise you. But what if it wasn’t?

You had to know. “By the way…” you start. You gulp down. “Did you say ‘I love you’ before?”

Realizing what she said, Sakura’s face pales slightly. For some reason, she felt scared, and she wanted to cover her face. “Oh, I—I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that. I mean, I do care about you, but—”

With your heart pounding, you interrupt her. You try to talk to her as gently as possible. “Sakura, wait. Did you mean it? Because if you did, it’s okay.”

Sakura hesitates, she can’t look at your eyes, then nods. “Yeah, I did mean it. I’ve been trying to keep it to myself, but… After this week,” she sighs with frustration. She couldn’t believe what she was saying right now. “Fuck, I just couldn’t stop thinking about you. I just never had the courage to say it. I don’t want to lose you, I care about you too much.”

Your eyes soften as she talked. “Sakura, I feel the same way. Every time we’re together, I feel so happy, so alive. I didn’t want to say it either, because of the whole situation we got going on. But now that you said it… I won’t hide it.”

Tears well up in Sakura’s eyes, she’s relieved. So relieved. “Really? You feel that way too?”

Sakura stands up and jumps to hug you. You almost fall but you catch yourself with a foot. Her face is against yours, cheek to cheek, you can feel her tears run down your skin. “You have no idea how happy this makes me!”

You sat hand in hand, letting Sakura calm down as she wiped her tears. “You know that time that I told you I wanted to turn back time?”

“Yeah, it was the first time we met.”

“Mh, I thought about it and I wouldn’t change anything. Because I’ve got to meet you.”

You laugh. “God, how did I get so lucky to have you, Sakura. I love you!”

“I love you too!”

THE END

Written, 13 July 2024 - 18 July 2024

[fanganfessions]

vent !! chapter 2 ep 15 spoilers

god and i cant even begin to express how much i hate veronika after this last episode. i was already beginning to have mixed feeling about her after being harassed by a few veronika defenders which only caused for me to not like her more out of spite. but my god the way she kept antagonizing ace seriously broke me. this man expresses how he was offended and all veronika can say is: "Oh, that hit a nerve. Didn't it?" what kind of person says those kinds of things?? thats just so cruel. maybe part of the reason why i hate veronika is because she reminds me so much of my sister. my sister is 10x worse than veronika but i cant but wanna claw my eyes out when i see her. shes a constant reminder that my feelings arent valid and i will never be anything more than something to make fun of. because thats exactly what she does to ace.

just for now im muting all the drdt tags besides any related to ace. i dont wanna see anything about any other character besides him. because it'll just remind me that not even the fandom appreciates ace as much as i do. they all care about everyone else. for fucks sake even hu and arturo are more liked than ace when they have contributed nothing useful besides a tiny bit of lore here and there.

just hearing ichiko aoba humming makes me think of last night where i cried over ace. its so calming but also so traumatizing because just hearing it reminds me of him. honestly i didnt think some jockey would impact me this much but god it hurts like a bitch.

i just want more ace content. seeing people positively talking about ace and making things for him makes me feel loved. when people express how much they love ace and dont want him to die, it makes me feel accepted and cared for. 

speaking of acceptance, i can only say this through an anon because i dont feel safe expressing my thoughts and feelings openly. ive been harassed by too many drdt fans for such petty reasons. i just wanna feel safe and liked in this fandom but i cant because i constantly feel like everyone is judging me and talking shit about me. i dont want that. i want people to like me.

theres probably going to be people suggesting for me to not associate myself with drdt (or atleast any ace markey media) for the sake of my own mental health and like.. take a walk or something. and while i do agree with you 100%, i kinda cant. drdt is my only hyperfixation atm. ive been obsessed with it for over a year now! most hyperfixations last only a year. i dont know how to stop thinking about ace's possible death, especially with episode 16 coming up in a few days. its really not as easy as you guys think it is. im not choosing to feel like this, i promise. (SENDING IN MULTIPLE PARTS BECAUSE IT KEEPS SAYING "We’re sorry. There was an error processing your post. tumblr")

.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for vague posting about my ex after he got me an expensive but upsetting gift?

I (23 m) and my ex (22 m) have only been separated from our 2 year long relationship for a few months now. I was the one who broke things off and I wanted to stay friends, however, for reasons I feel are obvious, this was super difficult for him. We went a while without talking regularly, and he was often very upset with me and short, and would vague me online (very privately). It made me really upset to be treated that way but I didnt say anything since he was grieving and processing our breakup. About a month into our split, my service cat passed I was extremely distraught and upset, like this was my best friend and it was so sudden, I was unstable from grief, but he reached out with his condolences and I really appreciated it. We talked more and seemed to be reconnecting and I was super excited about it. I came over to him to help him fix his car, picked him up from the airport, etc. I had missed him so much and were finally hanging out again!! I had been grieving quietly for another month when, while I'm petsitting his cats for him, he tells me about a gift he left for me. I open it to a letter saying that basically he was having a hard time getting over our breakup and that he didnt know if hed ever be over it, but he was sorry for my recent loss. I unpackaged the gift to reveal one of those 3D felted cat portraits of my late best friend. It was too much for me to see him in 3D again and I started sobbing and freaking out immediately. I texted him thanking him for the gift, but saying it was too soon for me to have recieved it, but I didnt elaborate much on that for fear he'd be upset that his gift has hurt me. I didn't have many other people to personally reach out to about my grief. My friends all seriously disliked this guy for most of my relationship with him (he had done some really upsetting shit to me several times before he was medicated and they thought he was bad for me) and I didnt want to talk shit about him like theyd want to, I like this guy a lot... I also posted privately online that I had recieved a gift (not saying what it was, not saying who it was from) that I wasnt ready to get and that it was sending me into a grief spiral again. I didnt use his name because I worried people would comment to talk shit about him and he would see. Well a friend of mine made a comment saying that whoever gave it to me should have thought more about how I would feel to recieve it. I responded basically telling my friend that I wasnt upset about the gift giver, just the gift itself had caused me to relive some stuff I wasnt ready for. But my ex saw and reached out to me saying "oh so your friends think I'm a bad person? I can take the gift back then." Which I tried to argue that I really loved the gift and that I didnt think he was a bad person. I showed him that I had disagreed with my friend, and rhat I wasnt venting about a good thing he did for me, but rather the post was more about my grief for the loss of my pet. The argument basically ended with me saying that I felt I needed to be totally emotionally sterile for his comfort and wasnt allowed to feel my grief publicly, and him saying that I could feel grief but I shouldnt have vagued him because then people could freely comment and judge him since he was nameless in the post. I deleted my post and agreed with him that I probably shouldnt have made the post at all, I apologized and hoped we could move on, but he replied with "dont talk to me" and blocked me on the social media where I made the post. I ended up reaching out again a few days ago (a week from our fight) to apologize for having gone too far during our argument and suggesting we meet in person to talk. He told me that our argument had made him the most manic he had ever been and that he appreciated the option to talk it out in person but he was very angry that I would treat him like that after saying I wanted to maintain a friendship. I apologized again, saying I wish we could be nicer to each other and we havent talked since.

(I'm trying to keep this as neutral as possible, all my friends are on my side but I still feel like it might be because they just never liked him...)

What are these acronyms?

[cherrysimmer1]

Chapter 29

Myrtle took a deep breath, stretching her arms. "Ahhhhh…" She yawned longingly. "Oh my… you look quite tired, don't you?!" Agatha observed. "Would you like more tea, perhaps? I'll make some more!" "Huh? No, no" Myrtle said. "I'm good! I was thinking about heading home now."

"You're sure you don't want more of my wonderful tea you're so fond of?" Agatha asked. "The tea full of amazing ingredients!" Myrtle yawned again and smiled, "You win! One last cup before I go to bed."

"Roger that!" Agatha said. "One last cup! It will ease you to sleep, you'll see. You know my tea contain a plethora of stress-reducing agents, right? And a bunch of other things super useful for the body. It's good for you! Particularly for what you're suffering from!" "That's why I like it so much," agreed Myrtle. "Your tea is my favorite!"

"By the way, I shouldn't have kept you this long. I apologize. You've been here for hours now, waiting for Agnes with me. You didn't have to. Me and Agnes' problems don't concern you after all."

Myrtle took a few steps around the apartment and walked towards a window.

It was beginning to be less dark outside. Soon it would be dawn.

"What are you talking about? Of course it concerns me! You and Agnes are my friends! Earlier this evening when I saw you from the stairs, you were so worried! That made me worry too!"

"Agnes is driving me crazy," Agatha affirmed. "I appreciate you coming over. You're a breath of fresh air. Your company kind of kept me away from worrying even more, so thank you. But still, sorry."

"That's alright!" Myrtle said. "We got carried away in the conversation and lost track of time. It happens all the time! I didn't mind waiting for Agnes. Thank you too for trusting me enough to tell me what's happening, what's really going on…"

"She still hasn't returned my calls nor answered my texts." "She will, hopefully. Soon. Who knows? Maybe for once, things went normally on her end?" Agatha sighted at that.

"You know what?" Myrtle said "Agnes will be thrilled to find out the extent you're willing to go in order to break the curse!"

"If I don't, who will?" Agatha asked. "She can't save herself, she's too scared! She won't take action and I don't blame her. She's confused."

"She was so sad when I first met her," Myrtle remembered.

"I can't tell you how I felt the first time I witnessed her vent about her breaks ups… I think it was when you moved in this building."

"I hope you were not too bothered by that behavior of hers…," Agatha said. "Not at all," Myrtle reassured.

"It definitely wasn't the best way to meet your new neighbors, was it?" Agatha asked. Myrtle shrugged her shoulders, "I knew dead-on she was going through some harsh times. New neighbors or not, I didn't judge."

"Agnes usually doesn't show her emotional side in public," explained Agatha, "Especially crying in front of somebody she doesn't know well. She'd rather hide certain feelings and put manners first! A flawless first impression is always her goal when meeting new people."

She took a pause, then said, "After those strange events, however, being reminded of the happenings would sometimes trigger her panic. She'd freakout anytime, anywhere, without regard to who was watching. She'd mumble a lot, she'd mention her husband and… and how the events occurred after he passed away."

"Her late husband was a frequent subject of talk," continued Agatha. "She was depressed, and on top of that, dealing with rude in-laws." "Oh no… These can be the worst! The in-laws..."

"They've been giving her a hard time since the man died. They were quite rude during her mourning time. I even had to intervene once or twice just so they could back off a little. She was thrilled I was there!"

Looking in the void, Agatha seemed transported several years back, "Agnes and I lost touch when she got married. It wasn't like in college years when we used to have fun all the time, spending time together and sharing everything. Now her husband was her everything."

"She had her life, I had mine," added Agatha. "She loved this married life of hers over everything else until… well, you know what happened. He died. His funerals, however, brought Agnes and I closer again. I've multiplied my visits to her place, to see how she was doing. Our bond was back. We were 'sisters' again and it felt great, especially after life parted us."

"Losing touch with close ones is so common after marriage...," Myrtle said quietly.

"That was no longer the case with us, thankfully," Agatha said. "After the funerals, Agnes asked me to move in with her. She needed family close-by, family support. Not in-laws harassment. Real support."

"Definitely." Myrtle agreed, nodding.

"So I went there and stayed a few months until we decided to move out. Too many things reminded her of her husband. She needed a fresh start. A new place was a good idea. We decided to leave the cottage life for the city life."

❮ Prev | Next ❯

[my-castles-crumbling]

hey I got my GCSE results back today (yk OWLS in HP except they’re real for 16year olds in UK😭) and I did bad, like way worse than I’d expected/hoped. Like ok i know it’s not actually that bad and loads of people would be glad to get my scores etc etc but like I’ve always been a really academic person. I wanted to go to Harvard for some reason and now that dream’s just shattered because with these scores I know I won’t get in. I feel like my life’s ended and I’m only 16 and I don’t know what to do. My family are all trying to act like everything’s normal and just told me ‘oh they don’t actually matter that much don’t worry’ but it’s like…that’s what you say when someone hasn’t done well. im so annoyed because I could have done better, I know I could have, but I was so distracted and burnt out last year and I just didn’t study hard enough.

I just don’t know what to do because everyone’s either telling me ‘oh it’s not that bad, you should be happy’ or ‘oh they don’t matter that much’ but like I know it’s not true and I know they matter and I know universities look at them and judge you based off them. I feel like no one’s letting me be upset and I don’t know what I should even do or if there is anything I can do.

I know there’s more to life than academics (I’m not a sewerslide risk) but at the same time I can’t help but feel like all my dreams collectively went down the drain the moment I saw my scores.

Im lying in bed and i have plans today and deadlines and all sorts of stuff and i just can’t find the motivation to do anything because whats even the point? sorry for ranting in your inbox its not like there’s much you can do but i just wanted to vent without someone’s immediate response being to act fake happy around me

Hi!

I definitely understand how you're feeling and I agree, you have a right to be upset. It's hard to feel like you've not done as well as you wanted to do, and you can mourn that.

I do have to say, though, I know someone who works in an Ivy League school in the United States, and I asked her about GCSEs. She said that since COVID, a lot of schools are taking multiple ways of showing academic skill. She wasn't sure about Harvard, but she said many schools aren't requiring SATs (US equivalent of NEWTs) so it's probably similar with GCSEs, and they will instead accept alternate options.

I think the thing is: you're allowed to be realistic. It sucks to do not-great on an important test. but please also be realistic and know that your dreams are not completely ruined. You might have other options: other ways of showing your intelligence or other just-as-amazing schools that will accept you. Please don't give up now- you are more than just one test score.

[shipcestuous]

To the anon dealing with hate comments:

Unfortunately, if you're getting a sudden influx of them, it's indeed possible that someone might have shared your work. It happened to me once, when someone put me on a list of "problematic writers" in a certain fandom, complete with screenshots of my fics. Thankfully, in my case, I was apparently not popular enough to "deserve" much more than a couple of rather uninspired insults in my inbox. The whole died down pretty quickly after that, and I can only hope they'll stop bothering you soon, like they did with me.

Anyway, from what you said, it sounds like you're already being very sensible in your reactions: moderating your comments is a very good choice when you know that having them under something you wrote would only upset you, and so is not engaging with those commenters. There's so way to make them stop, not unless you disable comments entirely and wait some time before enabling them again, and I totally understand why you might not want to do that... but they will get bored, eventually, especially if you don't give them the satisfaction of knowing they're affecting you in any negative ways. Just hold done, and know that you're the person behaving in a mature, effective way in this situation!

That said, I can't recommend enough venting to your friends, especially if they're fandom/Online friends or they're otherwise familiar with fandom/online spaces, or even just to people you get along well with in fandom/online spaces. Knowing there's someone out there who agrees with you and supports you goes a long way: even when you do already know you didn't anything wrong, having someone look in from the outside and confirm it to you, as well as listen to you express yourself, can be very validating and even cathartic.

Of course, this is assuming that you have someone in your life who you can trust not to judge you for shipping incest, whether they share your interest or not. I'd never suggest you come out, so to say, to someone when you don't feel comfortable or safe touching the subject with. But people you can be a bit vaguer with and trust not to press you for details, who will hear, for example, "some people are targeting me and my story with hate comments because they don't like the ship I write for", and simply say "wow, those people sound like jerks, they should just mind their own business and leave you alone!", can also be a great help.

Worse come to worse, venting on anon on safe spaces like this blog (btw, thanks for awesomeness, Astrid!) might already be a good first step.

I know this might all sound obvious, but I find that sometimes, "obvious" things are the last ones we think about in these situations. Sometimes we think "oh, yeah, I already know that I shouldn't let the haters get to me, that's a given, but I should focus on more practical things now" but really we only "know" it on an intellectual level and fail to internalize it, while feeling deep down inside us that it would be too "immature" to fully express our emotions and ask someone else for understanding and validation or even just a chance to talk about what's happening in detail.

... also, this is something rather personally that I understand won't work for everyone else, but I think spitefics can be a healthy way to let off some steam. Sure, you should write for yourself and not because you're focusing on what someone else might want or not want from you, but there can be a sense of affirmation and pride in saying "oh, you hate when I write this? You think I should stop writing it? Well, I'll just write even more of it, then!" Don't go gifting these works to the people harassing you or mistagging them so more people will see them, obviously, but they can be a way to turn an upsetting experience into an effort to tap into your creativity and even pamper yourself, putting yourself and what you love first as a shield against the negativity you've been subjected to. One time, I was told there was something wrong with me that I need therapy for and that my writing was a sad waste of talent, all because I'd decided to explore some very dark themes and dynamics in a clearly fictional context, and I used that comment to find the motivation I needed to write an even darker story that I had been considering for a while and post almost right after the first one. And you know what? Working on that second story felt good, because I was putting a lot of passion and care into it, and then posting it was so satisfying, like saying "you know what? You can say whatever you want. You won't make me feel bad about myself. You won't make feel guilty about something I have all the right to do. Take your backhanded compliments and don't let the door hit you on the ass on your way out."

As for why antis do what they do... I think there might be a few different reasons. Frustration in their everyday lives leading them to pose as "saviors" protecting more vulnerable people in online spaces. A need for control or an ego boost because they feel helpless and insignificant in other aspects of their lives. Naivety and an insecurity that brings them to look for "strong," loud people to tell them how to act and what to think and give them a sense of purpose and of being always on the "good side" in the case of the "follower" types. Depending on the fandom, some instinctive feeling of being threatened by other cultures and customs. And then, of course, some of them simply enjoy being bullies.

[x]

Thank you so much, Anon, that's a really helpful response for all of us.

I can't believe you were singled out in a fandom for being a problematic writer, that's awful. The antis truly are incredible. They definitely protected more people than they hurt by doing that (!)/s.

I got a negative comment just two or three days ago (on Wordpress not on AO3) and those kinds of things really do get under your skin no matter how much you understand, on an intellectual level, that the one posting hurtful comments is the one in the wrong.

To work hard on something and then to excitedly post it and to have all of these good feelings about sharing it, only to receive something negative in return, it's rough.

Another thing to remember is, like you said, Anon, the antis get tired and go away, but the works we're all producing endure, and for people who like them and are interested in them, they'll have value forever. A good fic is a good fic forever. Long after the antis are gone, people will be reading and enjoying our stuff. And for every vocal anti there are countless silent lurkers.

And I'm sure there are people on AO3 who don't kudos on certain fics because they don't want their username associated with it, and I'm sure we're all guilty of not leaving as many comments as we wish we had.

[olderthannetfic]

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/728233881369739264/the-aroace-anon-makes-me-sad-and-shows-how-fucked?source=share

I apologize in advance but this ask ticked me off, so to vent I'm going to rant about it in your ask box (I think you get a lot of that lol)

I have no idea what post OP is responding to but from context I assume that a person of the aroace persuasion doesn't feel welcome in their own identity because how vocal sex positive aces are. That must really suck and I think they need to talk to ace people in real life because I'm willing to bet the only thing that are seeing is internet wank.

I really feel for them but the unfortunate reality is that when an ace person explains that they have had sex, or is having sex, had sex once enjoyed it or is in a relationship that has sex in it, allosexual (people who experience sexual attraction) immediately go and invalidate our identity. They go "Oh you've had sex so obviously you're not ace you're het or you're gay etc." That invalidation makes the sex positive portion of the ace spectrum mad. Because we are actively being told we don't fit in our label (Which ironically, is exactly what OP is doing by saying that the label wasn't made for us)

I like sex but I have no desire to have it. People don't rev my engine (I don't even do what the hell this means lol, can you tell I'm ace?) This means so I don't feel sexual attraction which is the exactly definition that OP is using for asexuality. My having to explain this and the frequency in which I have to explain this that means that I am louder than the asexuals who don't have to explain. And presto, by the nature of the internet, it means that I'm what you find when you go look for asexual representation on the internet.

I also take issue with the definition this OP has for sex repulsion. If enjoying sex as an ace person is one side of the spectrum. Not wanting and/or enjoying sex is the middle of the spectrum.

If your sex repulsed you are at the other end of the spectrum. Implying that sex repulsed people are traumatized and need therapy is a misrepresentation at best. It's just another micro label ace people use to get across their experiences. All that label implies is that you have a strong aversion to sex. That could be due to you finding sex objectively disgusting or due to past trauma. There could be a million other reason to identify as sex repulsed.

What sex repulsion does not imply is that there is something wrong with you for not wanting sex and you need to go to therapy to fix it.

It's like getting into a car crash and never wanting to drive again. There may be some impact on your lifestyle but it's not the end of the world. Having some sort of sexual trauma happen to you and never wanting sex again is a valid reaction and never getting over that is okay. It absolutely doesn't invalidate identifying as asexual.

Point in fact asexuality has always been an identity that people want to wish away with medical intervention. We say we don't feel any sexual attraction and they say you should see a doctor about that, you must be depressed. Of course there is something wrong with you if you don't want sex, everyone likes sex.

You're sex repulsed?? You should have therapy about that. This kind of medical rhetoric happens all the time because our society puts emphasis sex in relationships. A healthy sex life equals a healthy relationships which is absolutely not how it works. Thus you are defective if you don't want sex but especially if there is a reason you don't want sex.

Sex repulsed is a label real asexual people actually use to identify themselves. And OP should not judge other people for what labels they use because OP doesn't like "implications" of the word repulsed. I realise that OP is coming from a position of sympathy here and that aro/ace person absolutely should not have to use a label that they don't identity with but the reasons that OP states aren't valid.

I absolutely agree some people don't have any experience with sex and when they get it they will realise that they weren't ace after all. That doesn't invalidate thinking they were ace at the time. Sometimes a label doesn't work out long term. The amount of stories I've heard from people that used to be ace but figured out that they actually just don't like guys or girls. Or they like sex fine they just don't like the romantic part. Asexuality is frequently a stopping block for people until they find an identity that better suits them. That's just part of ace culture too.

So in summary get off my lawn OP you don't know what your talking about. Sympathizing isn't enough. Try looking up ace Mirco labels and see how many different ways there are to be ace in either direction.

--

Scroll back.

[elisysd]

22. It’s a love story baby just say yes

Masterlist - Previously - Next

Chapter soundtrack: Love Story - Taylo Swift

Julia had spent her entire flight from Shanghai to Milan making phone calls and sending emails. She was a girl on a mission and it was a welcome distraction, the opportunity for her to take her mind off of Ethan. Her dad had a clear vision of what he wanted and her job was to make it happen. No matter what. It had been settled, the proposal would happen on the Thursday morning, before the media activities, so it would still be calm. A lot of people were expected which wouldn’t surprise Lyanna as Monza was a family tradition and friends and family were always attending. This year, there would be a little bit more of loved ones but Julia hoped her mom would not find that weird.

Beside being excited about the proposal, she couldn’t wait to meet someone that was dear to her. Her cousin, Daphne. She was not really her cousin by blood but they had basically grown up together until life got in the way and they had to go on their separate ways. But Daphne lived in Italy and she would be in Monza, as her parents, Lily and Lando would be there. She had texted her as soon as she had landed and agreed to meet up in a coffee shop in Milan where Julia would spend a few days before she was needed on the track.

It wasn’t hard for her to find Daphne. She hadn’t change. She still had the same dark hair and tanned skin, the result of years spent in Greece and now in Italy for her art studies. She was casually working on her laptop, taking notes on the side but as soon as Julia appeared in her field of vision, she squealed before getting up and running to her.

“Dane! Oh my gosh, it’s been so long!” Julia exclaimed, attracting weird looks from customers.

“Julia! I’m so happy to see you! It’s been so long, oh my gosh I have so many questions. We need to catch up, come here.” the girl retorted, taking her by the arm and dragging her to the area she was sitting in.

Julia ordered a cappuccino before they started talking. Daphne hadn’t changed. She was still passionate about art and could spent hours talking about it, without it being annoying. Julia told her all about her job, avoiding mentioning her struggles, she wanted to have a day without thinking about them.

“And… who is that mystery man you are soft-launching on your social media for weeks now? I saw the rumours but I can’t believe that it could be Ethan. You have always hated him.”

Julia winced. She knew the history between Daphne and Ethan. How he was her first love and first kiss and how he had been an asshole to her, playing her and making her believe that he loved her. It took months for Daphne to forget him and with time, she had become an ally whenever Julia needed to rant and vent about him. She knew that Daphne hated him as much as her. And that’s why she didn’t know how to announce to her that they were dating. She was scared of how the brunette would react.

“Yeah… about that…” she started.

“Is it a guy from Lamborghini? Or Ferrari? I have to admit that Elijah is pretty good looking. I always had a thing for Spanish men. I have a Spanish teacher and let me tell you that he is hot as hell.” Daphne told her, excitedly.

“Daphne, you have to promise you won’t get mad.”

“Why would I be?”

“Just promise me you will let me explain everything before jumping to conclusions, okay.”

“Ju, you are scaring me.”

“Just promise!”

“Okay, fine! Oh gosh, don’t need to get your knickers in a twist!”

Julia sighed and took a deep mouthful of her cappuccino.

“I didn’t expect it, you have to believe me. It just… happened. Ethan and I are dating. And I didn’t plan it you have to believe me. We spent time together and he is not that bad, he definitely is a great guy. A bit stupid and arrogant sometimes and he likes to joke around and to tease me more than necessary but… I really like him. I feel… seen with him you know. I can be myself with him he won’t judge me or use me. I feel safe and I feel good about myself. It has not happened in a long time. You know how hard it is for me to trust people and to create friendships and relationships. You know that it wouldn’t have happened if I had any doubts about him. Right?”

Daphne was quiet. Too quiet. She was avoiding Julia’s gaze and when she finally looked at her, she could see how angry she was.

“Okay.”

“Okay? You… you are okay with it? Like one hundred percent sure?”

She could see Daphne scribbling furiously on her notebooks and drawing shapes and lines, as if she was trying to contain her anger.

“What is done is done, anyway. It’s not as if I had something to say about it. You won’t care. So you do you, Julia.”

“I don’t want things to get weird and uncomfortable for you… I wanted you yo know before we make our first public apparition together this weekend.”

“Oh, so it is that serious, then. Great. Amazing. Perfect. What is the next step? You are going to ask me to be your maid of honour for your wedding? The godmother of your kid?”

“Dane… please…”

She snapped her head to Julia and that’s when she finally exploded.

“You know how bad he hurt me. You know how many nights I spent thinking that something was wrong with me because of him. How it affected the image I had of myself. I was fourteen at the time but his words and the feeling I won’t ever be enough for someone is something that I still carry with me. You know all of that. And still, you decide to be with him? After all he has done to me and has done to other girls? You will just be another name on his list, Julia! Nothing else! He doesn’t love you, he is incapable of that! I thought you, out of all people, would know that and would never fall for that.”

She was standing now and with rage started to put back in her bag her things.

“Dane… please…” begged Julia.

“No. From now on, it’s Daphne for you.” said the brunette and without a second glance, left Julia here, thinking that she had lost one of her best friend for a boy, something she had swore to herself would never happened.

She wandered the streets of Milan, lost in thoughts. She knew telling about Ethan to Daphne would be hard but she hadn’t expected this reaction. It had always been a sensitive topic but it had been year snow since the holidays in Greece, there was water under the bridge. But not for everyone apparently. Now, she could only hope that Daphne wouldn’t be mad for long. She would hate herself if she had sacrificed a friendship for a boy. But it would be a problem for later, for now she needed to finalised the last detail for her dad’s big day.

“You look gorgeous, Julia.” said her aunt Kika.

She was wearing the exact replica of the dress her mom had worn the night she won her Oscar. It had taken a lot of time for her aunt but she managed to work her magic and find it in a vintage shop.

“Thank you. I’m so stressed out. I hope everything will be perfect. They deserve it.”

“You managed to make it happen, Julia. And it looks so amazing. They will love it.”

A few seconds later, Louis went out of the bathroom, wearing the special merch of the year her dad and mom had gotten together. He looked really cute but was looking very uncomfortable.

“It was in the attic. We should have cleaned it before I got to wear that.” he complained.

“You look fine, don’t worry. And I promise that I soon as dad got on one knee, you can remove it.”

The group soon headed to the reception where Pierre was waiting for them, along with both Julia’s uncles, Lorenzo and Arthur. They were all dressed in their best tuxedos, holding presents and red roses to give to Lyanna. Julia checked her phone, they still had one hour to get into position and be ready for when her mom would arrive with Kat and Lily. She had to leave now to make sure everything was in place and give the last instructions.

In the Ferrari hospitality, Charles had never felt so stressed out in his entire life. Winning a championship, marrying Lyanna, having their kids, all had been stressful moments, but the idea of asking his wife a second time to marry him… that was another level of stress. Of course he knew she would say yes, there was not a doubt in his mind. But still, he was asking her to keep trusting him with her heart. He was asking her to keep promising they would be there for one another. Officially. And he was scared, so scared that his fingers were shaking as he tried to put on his racing suit.

“Do you need help?” Julia entered the room, a soft smile on her face as she saw her dad struggling.

“Please. I look stupid.”

“No, you don’t. Sure the suit is a bit tighter that on the pictures but hey, you are an old man now.”

“I’m not that old.”

“You are vintage.”

A laugh escaped him and Julia soon joined him.

“Thank you, Ju’. For everything. I couldn’t have done it without your help.” he said squeezing her to his side.

“Don’t make me cry right know. Are you sure you have everything? Your wedding ring?”

“With Elijah.”

She nodded. One last hug to her dad and a kiss on his cheek and she was out. He feet drove her to the end of the pitlane where was exposed her dad’s first world championship car. It was still looking perfect, even after all this time. She was taking the time to inspect it when she saw a bright red suit coming in her direction.

“Wow, Julia you look… I have no words.”

“Thanks. I tried to reproduce my mom’s Oscar winning look. I hope she will like it.”

Martin kept on staring at her, making her slightly uncomfortable until Elijah came to them, his helmet on, completely in his world. They were soon joined by Louis and her dad, that sat in the car. She addressed a reassuring smile to her dad as he kept fidgeting with his fingers.

Soon, Ethan arrived next to Max, telling Julia that her mom was on her way.

When Lyanna arrived in the paddock with Kat, she knew that there was something weird about this day. Everyone had been vague when talking to her and she had barely seen her husband and children when usually they were all glued together when Monza was happening. She knew Julia had stuff to do but Charles… He always managed to find time for her, to take her out for dinner or to walk around the track after the qualifying to reminisce about the past. But this year, they didn’t do it and she had to admit that it was bothering her. As she was heading to the Ferrari hospitality, Kat quickly took her by the arms to give her an envelope.

“What is this?”

“A present. Kika and Pierre have another one that is waiting for you.”

Lyanna looked at her in disbelief, not understanding what was going on. Still, she opened it to find a framed picture in black and white of Charles and herself, in Abu Dhabi right after he finished the race and got his first title. This moment would always hold a special place in Lya’s heart, she was pregnant with Julia at the time and it was also that day, Charles had asked her to marry him. She blinked quickly to prevent the tears to fall down and walked in the direction Kat was pointing to her.

There, in front of what was once where Alpine’s hospitality was standing, she found the couple and their two boys, twins, waiting for her, with a big piece of what she guessed was art in front of them.

“I’m so happy to see you all. It’s been a while. Tristan, Leo, you boys are so tall now! Taller than your dad.”

“Or maybe it’s just him who is getting smaller with the age.” shrugged Tristan making his brother laugh.

“Ahahah. You boys are funny. Anyway, there you go. For you.”

She couldn’t help but laugh, thinking that it was very on brand from the Gaslys. She remembered the picture all too well, it was engraved in her memory forever. Kika, Pierre and her, all wearing Pierre’s t-shirt with his name and driver’s number, laughing their asses off. They already had the almost same picture at home that Charles was hellbent on keeping it hidden.

“Charles will love it, I’m sure.” she said between two laughs.

“Lily and Lando are waiting for you, a few meters away from here.” added Kika.

As Lyanna was about to head there, she got stopped by Kika that threw her arms around her.

“I love you. You are like the sister I’ve never had and I admire you so much.”

“Kika! Don’t say that, I’m already about to cry…”

Reluctantly, they let go of each other and Lyanna headed to Lily and Lando. Daphne and her brother, Percy were there too. That made her happy, she knew how close Julia and Daphne were and how Percy was what was the closest thing a friend would be for Louis.

“So what do you guys have for me? A painting?” she asked. She knew what to expect now.

“No, better than that. Even though I had to stop Lily to make one.”

“There will always have other opportunities…” she smiled, handing to Lyanna a small package.

It was a gorgeous necklace made of seashells. She put it around her neck quickly.

“Santorini seashells.” Lily added.

“Your wedding…”

“We know how important that place is both for you and Charles.” said Lando, an arm around his wife waist and the other around Daphne.

“Where am I supposed to go next?” asked Lyanna.

“You learn fast. Joris is waiting by the Ferrari’s hospitality.”

And indeed he was there, sitting on the steps leading inside the building. He had a bag next to him and waved when he finally saw Lyanna. He scooted over, inviting her to sit by his side.

“So what do we remind you of? Because that’s the whole deal, right? Giving me things that are reminders of Charles and I relationship.”

“I think you will like this one. Everyone went with thoughtful and emotional gift, I presume. I chose one of my favourite moment.”

Inside the package, Lyanna found black pants, a black hoodie and a black balaclava. She shot a curious glance to Joris, waiting for him to explain.

“The day Charles dragged me along because you were going Christmas shopping with his ex-girlfriend. I felt like going on a spy mission. It was pathetic but cute and funny and I remembered thinking, if my best friend is ready to do go this far for this girl, then I’m sure she is the one and they will get married. I wasn’t wrong. Thank you for being there for him, for not letting him down. And thank you for being one of my best friend too. I love you, Lyanna. I don’t think I’ve ever told you.”

“Oh Joris. Come here.” She knew she would cry but never did she think it would be Joris that would give her the final blow.

They hugged for a moment and she swore Joris was crying too.

“So who is next?”

“Lorenzo and Arthur. They are the last ones before your husband. They are waiting for you at the garage.”

So she went there. She didn’t need to guess for long about the present, it was right in Arthur’s hands.

“A crown of flowers?” she smiled when she finally got to them.

“We don’t have to explain the reference, right?” asked Arthur.

“No you don’t. This movie will forever hold a special place in my heart, for more reasons than one.”

“It’s the beginning of your story. It’s how you met Charles. Everything led back to you so, a crown of flowers, a never ending circle… it was fitting.” explained Lorenzo.

“Can I wear it?”

Arthur put it on the top of her head as Lorenzo made her spin around.

“So… time to go meet Charles and your children. They are waiting at the end of the pitlane.”

They made their way together and Lyanna gasped when saw what was waiting for her there. Firstly, she noticed everyone standing there, looking at her as Arthur put a hand on the small of her back to make her move forward. She saw the smiles and how Kat, Kika and Lily were on the verge of tears. Then, she noticed Julia and Louis, perfect carbon copy of her and Charles. She went to them as they were handing her a bouquet of red and yellow roses with a prancing horse in it.

“You two… if I had known…” she started, taking both of them in her arms.

“That’s the whole point of a surprise, mom. For you not to know.” Julia joked, her throat sore as she was trying her best to not cry.

Lyanna kissed them both on the cheek before finally turning to her husband. He was still as handsome as when she first met him and suddenly it was like she went back in time to twenty-five years ago. Same place, same suit, same smile and same butterflies when he was near her. They went though hell and back, alone and together but managed to find their way back to each other every time. And she would do it all over again if given the chance. Martin and Elijah were next to him, entirely dressed and with their helmets on and visor down, looking like bodyguards and she couldn’t help but laugh through the tears. Finally, Charles stood up and went to her taking both of her hands in his.

“Lyanna, my love and the better part of me… I swore to you almost twenty-five years ago that I would always be fast, that I would always come back to you and that I would always love you. There has not been a day when this promise was not in the back of my mind. You complete me. It had always been you and I against the world. And then Julia came along and it was us three against the world. And then came Louis and it was us four against the world. You guys are my biggest strength but you, you are my everything. You are not only my wife or the mother of my children, or an Oscar-winning actress. You are my soulmate. You are my best friend, sorry Joris, my shoulder to lean on and my home. You are my lighthouse. You’re the only constant in my life. I’ve not always been the best dad or the best husband, I made mistakes, I keep on making them but you’ve always been by my side to help me get through them or to slap me in the back of the head. I’m still thanking the stars and my guardian angels that they put you on my path. I love you is not strong enough to express what I feel for you, Lya. It had never been. I wish a word could exist to tell you exactly what you are for me. So, Lyanna… would you keep on making me the happiest man on earth and to become my wife? A second time? Would you accept to keep on walking together on the life’s path and grow old together?”

Julia couldn’t help but cry as she saw her mom sobbing and profusely nodding. She felt a hot hand on her shoulder and someone pulling her against a chest. She recognised Ethan’s scent as he kissed the side of her head, still holding her close and rocking her slowly. She knew the photographers would have a field day between her parents and Ethan and herself but frankly, she didn’t care.

“I want to thank our Ju’ who helped me putting all of that in place. It wouldn’t have been this magical without her help.” said her dad, his voice filled with emotion.

She waved awkwardly, burying her head in Ethan’s chest as everyone was clapping and cheering for her. She felt happy for her parents but if she could hide somewhere she would. It was their day, not hers. She had only helped his dad to make his vision alive. Nothing else. She felt colder as Ethan let go of her but soon she was engulfed in a hug by her mom as she recognised her perfume. And then, two arms circled her waist and she knew it was her brother. Finally, two other strong arms pulled them all together against a hard chest and she knew it was her dad. She was hearing her mother’s sobs and feeling the awkward pat in the back that her brother was giving her. Knowing how much he was taking it upon himself to participate in the family hug made her heart full and made her want to cry even more.

“I love you all. More than anything. You guys are my biggest trophies and my biggest victory.” said Charles in their ears.

Author's note: I was so excited for this chapter I couldn't wait for you all to read it! A big thank you to @smoooothoperator for allowing me to borrow Daphne and her family. If you want to read about them, please check out her story Beautiful Stranger! What do you think will happen next? Let me know your theories, I love to read them.

Don't hesitate to leave a comment or an ask, as well as reblogging and leaving a like. It helps a lot for the story to find its audience. I also have a taglist for this story, so if you want to be added so you never miss a chapter, let me know.

Taglist:

@herondalism @aundercover @musingsbyshreya @karmabyfernando @reengard @mycenterfold @smoooothoperator

[rzyraffek]

I got infected with Gage brainrot and I have only hearcanons with him in my head right now so prepare. Today's idea is Sole with no social skills. Requests open

Gage with Sole who has no social skills

Sole is a great fighter, really they are awesome, but as quickly as they find out that they have to talk to somone they turn into weak beans. Like face-to-face conflicts always end up with Sole just freezing and Gage has to do all talking for them

"Yo Boss, Mason is looking for you he wants you to do something" ":(( noooo he's too scary" "dude is litteraly ginger what the fuck you mean too scary"

I can imagine Sole agreeing to anything just to avoid conflicts. Like ANYTHING, and ofc gangs will use it against them, like: "yoyo boss you know i need LITTLE tiny favour-" "YESYESYESYES SURE BAI" "lets go😎"

Then Gage has to intervine, boss pls do not do any deals without him cuz you gonna end up dead someday

Yea Gage tries to be all good and a bit helpful now but oh boi at the start? He did not get it at all, okay they might be stressed due to all those raiders surrendering them, but why Sole stuttered so much??? Why do they avoid talking and any eye contact?? He had no clue he spooked them so much haha... well wait till he finds out that its not being spoked but nervous

I can imagine Sole just mentally preparing to talk to somone just pacing around the room making up whole conversation in their head and Gage just sitting in background judging them HARDLY "and fuck ya doing Boss?" "AA ah I'm preparing to talk to Nisha, I helped her kill one dude and now I have to let her know that the job is eone" "Geez Boss she will be pleased, you did it well" " :(( but what if-" "Boss i swear its 11pm go to sleep"

Oh how akward it was between Gage and Sole at start, Gage tagged along with Sole to make sure they don't run away to help them clear parks! And for first few days of travel there was no small talk, no conversation, nothing. At start Gage thought they were still altered and spooked, then he though that maybe they are partially mute and just don't speak or something. Untill one of them couldn't stand the akward vibe and just stared small talk with some question or comment about environment like: "ee Gage? Why did Colter want this place anyways? It stinks" (Sole almost died while speaking first btw)

After Sole vented to him about their issue he tried to understand and help them with stress by talking to people for them, to be honest he kinda likes that cuz since he's the one speaking he can change their words a bit so they appeal to raiders more

Overall 7/10 Gage is approved 🤠👍

[katyspersonal]

Some responses

Oh jeez...... Guys, I did not expect my post to resonate with so many people. I was aware that the problem of people feeling excluded and mocked just for less common headcanons had to be big, but I still thought this post would stay between me and all five of my followers, hahah; I am glad that some people feel really heard here! Some are for very different reasons, too?

I ESPECIALLY want to point out this one, because it is exactly the result I've been seeing a lot:

@tsunbath I've heard similar things from (former?) Malenia fans, and also I know at least two friends for whom Maria was ruined as a character because of how toxic her fans were. You are VERY right about the fact that Malenia would've hated to be the symbol of gatekeeping and bullying in the fandoms! I feel like the same would go for Maria; there is no direct confirmation, but I doubt many people can argue that she IS compassionate soul. Like... how do those toxic fans keep making the deep, compassionate, tragic female character into THE symbol of mockery, exclusion and aggression? Beats me.

It just deeply resonates with me how actions of the bad type of fans can create aversion to a character or a ship. I've had this phase with Mariadeline ship tbh. My advice would be - avoid searching content for the character/ship, try to find a tiny pool of people that likes them but are normal and respectful about it, allow yourself to feel identified with "normal fans of the thing" pool rather than dread of identifying with toxic gatekeepers by association... Like, the ship got recovered for me this way, same as Maria's character herself. Just remember that toxic fans and normal fans are not the same entity... It is a very rare case where division is HELPFUL! Hopefully you will be able to recover Malenia for yourself and not think of those l00sers anymore.

@mycopok I know Mal, easily the best person to have ever crossed BB fandom, and nothing will ever replace her </3 I am just happy that her positive influence still lingers even after becoming way less active, like... yeah, fans just should be allowed to explore any idea they want. Maria x Laurence is SUPER interesting concept! In fact, the initial post WAS made because of someone venting that they were afraid to post their Maria x Laurence stuff out of fear of being ostracised!

@underworldsheiress Yeahhhh again, you are not the first one I hear a story like this from. I also heard takes like 'tomboys are the grossest aesthetic, either come out as a trans or get back in line' (not exagerration). It is REALLY unfair how a woman looking masculine should be either her being a butch lesbian, or... well, no longer being a woman in the end. Infighting and forcing pointless norms on each other is a huge problem with LGBT+ community, you'd expect people to gather to support each other but... people will be people I guess :/ Anyways gigachad move of you to wear what you want.

@alma-amentet I don't quite agree with your tastes on body types maybe not gonna lie; However what you pointed out (not so much in the tags, I saw what else you said heh) is a very good example of how fandoms are open spaces and everyone should feel welcomed here. Like, the girls in the fandoms will have absolutely ridiculously specific tastes regarding male characters - not liking shorter height, not liking slim build, prettifying their canonically not-so-attractive face, judging them in sexy look contests, throwing insults towards their appearance quirks at times...

But once someone tries to pull similar things with female characters - all HELL breaks loose. Double standards in the fandoms regarding genders of the characters are absurd. I even once saw someone in BB fandom whining about how someone attempted to discuss which female character was hotter with them...... after we, as a fandom, CONSTANTLY have shit like 'sexyman contest who is sexier Mico or Brador vote now from your phones!!!!'. .... Like idk if you need to hear this as well or not, but everyone should be allowed to say 'muscular women aren't my taste' for the exact same reason why everyone is allowed to say 'muscular men aren't my taste'.

@fantomette22 @rhythmloid Devotees of the Biphobic Order are the bane of every western fandom's existence at this point for real though :/ They will see a female character that wears pants and kicks ass and start shaking over her like Gollum with The One Ring, ignoring all the context, nuance, her personal story, other possibilities, etc... Like I said - feelings of real people who just try to enjoy the fandom are more important than some toxic bunch's creepy obsession with the character they want to crown as their token masculine lesbian based on stereotypes, no less. I say if they really care about masculine lesbians, they should direct their activity towards real world and real people. Because, again - fandomry is not activism.

Anyways thanks everyone for speaking, and sorry if the tagging annoyed you or something fdsjhfh I really appreciate that, and I do hope you all will be able to find your own group in the fandom that'll keep you mentally safe from the toxic fans ruining characters for you. Like a power barrier in the middle of the chaos! I know I did find mine, lol

[enneamage]

That last ask almost had me completely with the nuances of not being able to judge a CCS grief and how they portray it. I agree, and I think it's something that a lot of people on twitter struggle to handle in a respectful manner, but the last part I just don't get.

Tommy no longer speaking positively on Dream without the promise of a server and the implications of using him doesn't feel based in anything bar from the timeline of it all, it's the worse faith read you could get of his character in this situation and doesn't match up with anything he's done before. I agree its highly likely that Dream ghosted a ton of people, Tommy included, so that's at least one aspect.

And while I'm sure there was an element of getting caught up in people cheering on his 'messiness' and it probably encouraged Tommy speaking negatively about Dream, there's undeniably something much more personal having gone on to generate that emotion. The Hypnosis video, joke as it was, Tommy mentions specific stuff speaking as Dream, specifically him and Tubbo as a pair, and then a part entirely about Phil. It's possible that rather than it being about Techno it's someone else Tommy's getting upset on the behalf of. Either way this missing factor or series of events that we can debate over is not something I think we're gonna get any time soon. It's not 'cancellable' as Tommy said post Hypnosis video, but it's definitely something.

Tommy held out 'hope' for Dream for around a year even when everyone was pulling back, I agree that his behavior was more than just tactical / clout namedropping. There was a time when he seemed to be actively defying the people who were trying to freeze Dream out, and while I could never interpret that in full I do think it meant something at the time. His feelings seem to have turned in a way that really bothers him.

Oh wow, you brought me back to the Dream Introject moment from that video. I didn't post about that since there wasn't anything real to say but I was really struck by how surreal that whole situation was. I remember thinking that it was incredibly fascinating that he was seemingly able to launch into a long, seeminly unbroken, intense speech from 'Dream's POV' seemingly not even focusing on jokes, just analyzing Youtube, fame dynamics and what Tommy thinks he thinks. If I were to do a complete hail mary I would bet that uncensored footage would be him venting a lot of insecurities / things stans have said about who blew up and why. That moment stuck out to me because just going on theme, those are also things that Tommy himself thinks about a lot, and probably has a decent number of insecurities about.

I agree that Tommy probably doesn't have a secret ingredient that would magically 'get rid of' Dream like some people seem to hope. I can see Tommy being cyncial about Dream being overly tactical about how he moves and having some behind the scenes quotes in that direction, since he seemed to be like that before as well. For now things are in a stalemate and we're probably not going to get more information for a long while, or maybe ever.

[bakiuwu]

If you saw the bullshit that happened yesterday on Baki Tumblr, I'll gladly give a summary of the "drama" that happened.

@yandere-writer-momo got salty tha I blocked her and so she made a passive-aggressive call-out post about it

calling me a "cop" and making me look like a bad person who just calls out people for no reason and is a big meanie-head. She talk about how I "police people on what they should or shouldn't like" and judges people on their ship. then uses the example when I informed her about the artist (banano-san ew) that she was praising in a post. She's making it seem like I'm policing and being judgmental when I was letting her know about how that artist is a fucking weirdo but apparently wanting to warn someone about a person who fucking disgusting is a crime.

WHAT'S REALLY INTRESTING is that after I commented tha you dm me about it, agreeing thats shit was weird, so how come now you're making seem like I'm big meanie-head for warning you about them?? seems ass-backwards to me.

Who is the artist that is being discussed? Who is she defending? that artist being banano-san. A weirdo I call-out a few months ago for their gross behavior in the baki Fandom, but for some reason, shes acting like I call out an innocent baki artist who's done nothing wrong???

I was bringing their gross actions to light to warn normal fans about their weirdo behavior, especially since they're mainly on tumblr/ I saw a bunch of people i was following praise them. If you dont know, there's a lot of weird/disgusting artists in the baki community. Artist like

Stvd-ships incest(baki x yujiro,Jack x baki), also pedophile (baki x tha 12 year old boy)

Chyiomm-ships baki x yujiro

There's too many of these weirdos in this small fandom, but banano-san is one of them. If you would like to see that post, it's pinned on my account. Where I basically go over screenshots of their disgusting behavior that's out in the open and is allowed to be judged because yall know it's public, duh.

What's also funny is that you say, " I can't judge cause I also dabble in taboo subjects. "....so you're grouping yourself with a bunch of incest likers?? That's very weirdo of you to admit that you wouldn't judge someone's whos fine with incest and pedophile

But if we're using momo and her brain-dead followers' logic, I shouldn't judge and be sympathetic and understanding about why a person would post and say such things🤓

I JUST LOVE how you're trying to make it seem like this hateful person. How cute, also you bring up "you need to understand tha people aren't going to agree with your opinions"........are you fucking dumb, why are acting like the my opinion on incest and pedophile can be something that can be debated, this shows how much of an weirdo you are cause what normal sane person would say tha about those very fuck up topics.

Also putting "they told me to stop writing.😅" Oh brother, did you or did you not vent to me about the weird request you were getting for non-con???? And how uncomfortable people were making you I told you to take a break from writing and figure other things to write. Don't make it seem like I was trying to be a dick

Like come now

MOST IMPORTANTLY, this whole dumbass theard is basically her trying to "educate" me on how I can ruin someone life because of calling them out for they're disgusting behavior and making nothing but excuses for these weirdos.

That I should sugar-coded theses types of weirdos who are in the baki Fandom. Don't even get me start on the weirdos agreeing with her in the comments making me and my friend look like we were wrong for having these opinions. The Fandom itself is small and honesty not that good(especially with all the dudebros), but lord forbid I warn people about fuckers like banano-sana.

Apparently, that makes me a cop now. Also don't try act all calm in proper in the reblogs "I won't use insults" when you was being a bitch in tha rude ass post trying to make me look like I witch-hunt innocent people, girl fuck you. I don't appreciate that type of petty ass behavior.

In conclusion, this shit all starts because of a distasteful call-out post all because I have her annoying ass blocked and her portraying me as a mean-ass who judges innocent people on the internet. At the end of the day, you're defending a freak. I had her block for a very simple reason......CAUSE SHE WAS FILLING UP THE DAMN BAKI TAG. I was tired of seeing post after post after post, shit was getting annoying, so I blocked her. Apparently thats wasnt allowed, so she made that dumbass post. Finally, that's all I have to say, and that's the "drama" summarized and explained.

[coughdropenjoyer]

.

[delcakoo]

How would you describe Enhypen members’ personalities? Would it change if they had a lover?

mmm, lemme think ab this anonnie!! >:0 (woops, looking back on this i definitely went overboard and it could’ve been a whole post but oh well, enjoy my rambling lmaojdihf)

the only word i can think of to describe heeseung is just so chill, he just gives me such a childhood best friend vibe. he’s someone you can always trust and be yourself with. all the members have agreed that when they have worries, he’s their go-to person to let things out and vent to. being the youngest in his family, i can see that hee has a very big childish and silly side that he has begun to show a lot more as he’s gotten more comfortable (showing off his woody and buzz light year toy on live, absolutely screaming his lungs out in the karaoke eps, constantly playing his video games even in his envlog, esp w niki). and in a relationship, heeseung would still be very casual and easygoing, except unlike around most other people, he’d let his playful side overtake his mature side that he has to put up as the oldest member with his s/o much more often. he would be quite protective, and i think the highlights of his relationship for him would be whenever he could make his partner smile or even better, laugh.

jay is just such a genuine, wonderful person. like for me it’s so easy to see how much he cares about the people he loves. he is always watching out for his members and would do anything for them, like when heeseung left his damn bowl in the middle of the table in sosofun (😭) jay fr didn’t even care or scold him, he just picked it up and washed it for him anyway. in the jaywonoo envlog, even though he’s literally only a year older than sunoo and won, he put aside any desire to have fun and join them in the pool just to focus on making dinner for the three of them. he’d be the same with his lover, perhaps even more. he’d cherish them so much. he said in a fancall something like if he had a lover he’d want to make sure they’re the happiest they can be/ he’d try to make them the happiest he can (smthn like that, if anyone finds the fancall lmk), like you will know very well he loves you every damn day. i also think with a bit of convincing on their side, he’d open up to his s/o and rant out his worries, something i feel like jay might need to do more often.

to me jake is such a bubble of joy. he has said he’s very shy and scared or being judged, and i’ve definitely noticed this in the way he usually lets the other members take the spotlight and ends up laughing in the background more than telling the jokes on variety shows/interviews. but on enoclock and just when he’s with his members, he’s so smiley and talkative <3 he’s very easygoing and so easy to get along with, jungwon (and niki agreed with this i think) said on enhypen&hi that out of all his hyungs, jake is the most easy to talk to (when sunghoon got jealous about this i was giggling im sorry) and it really shows to me! i think it’s so beautiful how jake tries to be a father figure but also a playmate for niki since he kind of missed his childhood, it goes to show how much he cares about his members in his own, perhaps overlooked way. if he had a lover, at first he’d be very shy and hard to break out of his shell, but after a while he’d let himself show and be very playful and affectionate. he’d be his s/o’s number one supporter in absolutely anything they do, always cheering them on with that boxy grin from the sidelines <3

i could fr talk about sunghoon for hours, he’s so relateable <3. i’m sure most people would have absolutely no shame and full confidence if they looked the way this man does, yet sunghoon is the most shy and humble person. with strangers and in interviews, he almost never talks unless he’s forced to. i’m pretty sure he’s spoken about having trouble socially, and growing up he was put into figure skating because his parents recognised how shy he was and wanted a way for him to meet new people and grow. now that he has a home with enha, you can really see how relaxed and at ease he is with the members. sometimes it’s more subtle, but he’s pretty teasing and rarely shows any affection. i think a big part of his teasing side is to cover up how easily he gets flustered and shy jsdjdjh honestly, i think he’s hilarious and his humor is underrated, just watch some enoclock episodes; he says and does the most random but funny things (i’ll never forget his iconic look in episode 19/20 with the cowboy hat and green glasses, and in iland when he randomly screamed over pyeonyuk 😭) his humor has no specific trail, it’s just out of the blue and that makes it funnier lmao. i think sunghoon puts a lot of faith and trust in his members (sosofun when he straight up left them to deal with the ticket payments 😭, and when he was practicing for mubank he facetimed jungwon to help rehearse), and in a relationship he’d do the same. he’d also be very teasing and playful and wouldn’t show public affection too much, behind closed doors would probably be the highest chance of getting some kisses n’ cuddles from him. he’d try to be the cocky and smug one in the relationship, but if his partner is brave enough to not start immediately blushing and fight back, you can corner him easily 💀

my ball of sunshine.. sunoo is for real a best friend everyone would die for. he’ll always laugh at your jokes, he always brightens the mood like the life of the party he is. i dont need any examples for everyone to know this boy’s absolutely hilarious and so sarcastic. my favorite clip of him ever is on his bday vlive when he recieved anonymous letters from the members and he just roasted the shit out of all of them except jungwon, the sarcastic comments??? “wow, i’m so touched i’m gonna cry *pretends to stab eyes*” “seriously, thank you so much *sassy eye roll” god he’s so funny 😭 though he’s almost always the one being teased, you can truly see how much he means to the people around him. the members may be pretty harsh with the teasing all the time but they care about him so much, never forgettinf when they brought a fox plushie around when he was sick, and at the concert when they were all patting him n’ holding him while he was crying :( sunoo’s just someone you can always rely on to be there and make you feel welcomed. in a relationship sunoo would be a bit more serious. he’d always be watching out for his partner’s health and safety, making sure you’re eating and sleepong well. he’d definitely be a bit playful, probably pinching his s/o’s cheeks constantly n’ taking lots of candid shots for his lockscreen <3.

jungwon is very easily described as mature. too mature for his age. heeseung mentioned how he worried for jungwon, and how he was forced to grow up so fast, and i agree that it’s unbelievable how he became the leader of enhypen at 16 years old and has done such an outstanding job at it. he’s patient, humble, and so dependable. he’s always the one starting up the intro conversations for enoclock and other shows, and he always puts up a smile no matter what. honestly, as a new engene i remember being flabbergasted at how he was the second youngest just watching niki be a hyper chaotic menace while won would just be sitting there with the most disapproving 👁. i think jungwon is someone everyone around him secretly really appreciates. the members don’t say sappy stuff to each other a lot, but i’m sure if they were to be given the chance, most of them would want to say something to thank their amazing leader. his personality would 100% become more relaxed and childish with his s/o. won doesn’t get to act his age much at all, so he’d relish in being able to giggle and fool around with his love. his partner would always be reminded of how special they are to him, he isn’t afraid to show a lot of affection as long as there’s privacy. also, i feel like jungwon wouldn’t get jealous very easily, mostly because he just has so much faith and trust in his partner that anyone else doesn’t matter to him.

niki has slowly been getting more and more mature. watching enhypen&hi and other old content makes me a bit sad for some reason. he used to be quite loud and hyper, always playing pranks and screaming in the members ears during lives (💀) but now he’s definitely, if not the quietest member who just adds a few comments every once in a while during lives/shows. while it is a little sad, it’s understandable since he is at a big changing part of life and this is just how he is, and we still love him always for it! niki is very subtle and the least likely to show a hint of affection, but it’s clear he cares deeply for his members and close ones. i think he really admires his hyungs, especially heeseung (it’s adorable seeing how much hee makes him laugh). niki also radiates such a strong aura, he walks with utter confidence and with his head held high. he also isn’t afraid to tease his members despite being the youngest, his sly comments and mocking is part of his love language which is also the same if he was in a relationship. if you’ve read any of my hcs/reactions you know i’m a strong believer niki would be very laid back and teasing with his s/o. but notice he’s only like that with people he’s very close to? yeah, it’s truly his way of showing his love and that he trusts you. the longer his relationship goes, the more he’d open up for physical affection, though he’s still definitely not one for pda.

[olderthannetfic]

[This is for a person with whom I have quite a contrary opinion. And I want to get it off my chest]

You. Have. No. Idea. What. Fanfic. Is.

For you, quality literature has to have the qualities you demand of it. Yes, I agree that you need a minimum of quality in all areas, but a lot of fanfic is written by people who spend their time (for free) to give you a story with characters you already know and want to read in that context.

"But you shouldn't write about real people." You're missing the point of fanfic.

"But you shouldn't use non-LGBTQ+ people/characters for LGBTQ+ stories." You're missing the point of fanfic.

"Sex scenes with real people are disgusting". For you, but not for everyone.

"I hope one day the 14 year old girls who read this kind of fanfic will realise that writing about real people is wrong and move away from the dark and toxic side of fandom." Don't say what people can read or not.

"I hope you grow up and leave your fanfic era to read worthwhile literature." Honey, I can read fanfic and I can read books that were Nobel Prize winners, one thing doesn't take away from the other. Oh, again, you're missing the point of the fanfic.

So please, stop throwing all the bad stuff at fanfic writers and thinking you're mature for reading Stephen King (I guess he can talk about Beverly's boobs because it's not fanfic). And I hope you never leave Wattpad, because if you go on ao3, first you'll faint and then you'll cry about the "atrocities".

You're good at giving writing advice and encouraging new writers, but stop talking about a subject you don't understand and don't want to understand. If I vent here it's because I know that if I write it in your comment box, I'll be the hater and I don't want arguing with people.

[Sorry if I made a mistake. English isn't my first language and I'm really upset right now]

--

There's an interesting thing I read as a kid about language acquisition. It was specifically about vocabulary acquisition among native speakers. The researchers observed that parents, teachers, etc. thought kids should read "good" books that "challenged" them because this would improve vocabulary and comprehension...

But in fact, the thing that most improved reading skills was reading books that were just barely hard. They might have learned only one new word per crappy Nancy Drew, but they read thousands of them and learned thousands of words. The kids reading "good" literature that was much too hard for them learned much less.

Needless to say, I waved this in my mother's face and went back to reading Nancy Drew.

Mom absolutely suffered from Buy The Child Boring And Depressing Literature syndrome, like many intellectual adults. Also, she was terrible at judging a book from the cover blurb and was always buying things she thought would be fun pictures of some cultural moment that were actually about the horrors of war and teenagers fleeing their countries.

I find it hilarious that this person is a Stephen King fan. Nothing wrong with King! He's rightly beloved and famous. But in the minds of Real Literature snobs, he's also fun trash, not Serious Books For Serious People.

That's the danger of snobbery: there's always someone who can show you up.

The only way to win this game is to be completely secure in your own tastes to the point that you don't even care about defending them when people attack.

For me personally, fic made all the difference in my writing ability. I was surprised a few years ago to realize I'd turned into someone who could write the kinds of things I actually want to read. I never used to reread my own work, and I never used to be able to live up to my own standards. Lack of revision was part of it, but that wasn't most of it: I just wasn't very experienced and thus I wasn't very good.

After a decade of writing Yuletide fic and the occasional other thing as the mood struck me, I apparently gained enough experience while not paying attention to level up.

Those 14-year-olds dicking around with Jungkook readerfic or Taekook or Minecraft dumbass RPF or whatever has this person's panties in a twist will probably turn into good writers one day if they just keep writing.

It's a question of stamina as much as anything, and nothing kills stamina faster than elitism.