#like nothing is ever going to be better
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Having a totally normal one.
#one of those days where nothing feels right#like nothing is ever going to be better#I’m just�� it doesn’t matter what I do or where I go#I don’t want to do anything I don’t want to be around anybody I don’t want to be seen#I don’t want to work#i miss feeling literally any element of stability in my life#a trajectory of WANTING something#but I don’t even know who I am#let alone what I want#beyond wanting to lose fifteen pounds#and wanting to be financially stable#but those are two things that I only associate with shame#I see them as NEEDS#what do I WANT#but all those things feel shameful too#I’m so tired#tw eating disorder#tw anorexia#tw depression#tw self loathing
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Lan Wangji goes to Lotus Pier (No relation to the AU of the same name)
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#better drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#wei wuxian#Another split type comic because I decided to be ambitious.#This flashback is currently beating my ass. There are so many timeskips within the flashback! My flow and pacing are wheezing!#I loved how this scene starts with the crowd's point of view. The observations and gossip add a lot.#And it helps reposition us to what the external perspective is on these two. Namely that 'they don't get along.'#Tensions are known! Even here in Nouveau Lotus Pier.#Ah...Lan Wangji never got a chance to see the Lotus Pier of Wei Wuxian's childhood and adolescence...did he?#It's not the same. He's not the same. Call them by the same name and people will know what you mean...#...but the first version - the one with the fond memories - is gone for good.#It's sort of interesting isn't it? How names can hold so much power and still be hollow?#We often get stuck over past versions of things. Be it ourselves or other people or places.#Change is scary but the truth is nothing ever stays the same. It's always moving. You're always moving.#It's okay to mourn the past. Maybe it's people you lost or the person you hoped to be. Let yourself feel the grief.#And then? Then you grow around that pain and keep on going. If you feel like you can't - remember you don't have to do it alone.#A side note: Listening to the tossing flowers extra is so essential for this scene. It's cute and gives us more of [redacted]#What's [redacted]? You'll see in the next comic!
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yknow that thing where becoming obsessed with a character makes you a better artist? i am feeling it tonight boys
#art#my art#digital art#doodle#undertale#sans#sans undertale#classic sans#thinking about what it must've been like to learn that#everything you've ever known is turned on its head but nothing changes#you go about your day and everything is normal but you KNOW something now you know something you would've been better off not knowing#timelines jumping all over the place stopping and starting#what if thats you? what if its your timeline next?#how many yous have been bought back to zero without knowing?#how many times has it happened to you?#you get up and you make your brother oatmeal for breakfast and you think “whats the point?”#sorry just having a long think about silly skeleton man you know how it is
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#this one really got to me yall#this like describes his ending so perfect#you are a better person than you have ever been and you have nothing left#you are never going to be free of the guilt you are never going to be able to go home#but you are more yourself than you have ever been#veilguard spoilers#solavellan#solas#da spoilers#dragon age the veilguard spoilers#da:v spoilers#dav spoilers
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Mizuki and Date though like. Imagine being 8 and your parents are filthy rich and going through a bad divorce. Your mom treats you like shit, lashing out at you, hitting you, saying she wishes you were never born all because you were behaving like a child. Your dad is more comforting, but he doesn’t do anything to stop the abuse and he spends his time invested in a completely different family, a girl who you love and look up to but he loves her more than you and it fucking shows. Then your dads new friend, some fucking bachelor in his late 20s, is just like "wow you guys are the worst fucking parents ive ever seen" and next thing you know your dad is sending you off to live with him. And it’s just a massive kick in the head cuz you go from a rich lifestyle to living in some really shitty tiny ass apartment with this guy who’s clearly never been around a child in his entire life and he doesn’t know how to behave and does a really bad job of censoring himself like he has a bunch of dirty magazines that he can’t hide very well cuz it’s literally a studio apartment and also he talks to himself sometimes, it’s really weird. He doesn’t even have the slightest clue what he’s doing
And he’s the best parent you’ve ever had
Because fuck, it all really hurts. You have to cope with having never received any love from anyone, and with the fact that your parents clearly don’t want you and can’t even be bothered to send you with anyone even kinda responsible. And this guy has a scary job with crazy hours and you don’t know anything about him and neither does he. But still, he never once hits you or tells you you’re not allowed to cry. He just gives you space and doesn’t push you to feel any sort of way about him. And sometimes, he’s even kind. He makes you some stew, even though it’s a bit chunky. He lets you sleep in the bed and takes the couch for himself, even though he complains about the massive back pain he’d never trade his spot for a second. He pays attention to events at your school and gives you your favorite stuffed animal when you make good grades, even though you called it ugly. He gets worried sick when you come home with bruises and puts on a goofy voice and trains you to defend yourself and you develop some highly deadly skills and even though it’s really abnormal, he buys you a bench press so you can get stronger. There’s this distance there, and you feel really weird caring about someone who you aren’t related to, but you find yourself wishing it was meant to be like this all along, that maybe, he’s secretly your real dad and he loves you like his real daughter
And when you say "I’m back" he says "welcome home"
#aitsf#ai the somnium files#kaname date#mizuki date#THE DATES THEY ARE MY EVERYTHING AAAAAAAAA#its so funny though like imagine being such a bad parent that some loner who jerks off all the time does a better job than you#and hes literally never interacted with children before and is later revealed to have actually been an assassin#renju and shoko really just suck huh#and i dont mean to reduce date to a porno loving loser cuz nah like hes actually got so much depth going on in this situation like he cant#remember a single thing about his past he has no frame of reference for what a family is or if hes ever had one himself#which we then learn he. kinda didnt he was an orphan with no friends no name no one who came looking for him it seems#yet he still finds himself loving and caring for this girl and would literally die over and over for her to live a happy life#hes so genuinely kind and caring and deeply lonely and unsure of himself if hes doing this right#and he feels agonizing pain when hes forced to remember that he isnt mizukis real dad and that. he has nothing#but despite that he doesnt force mizuki to return these feelings because its a lot to burden a child with and shes been through enough#its like. kaname date i love youuuu please just adopt her already 🥺
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i was a deeply annoying and unpleasant kid with serious behavioural issues so i understand why they did it but the way my teachers dealt with me was so bizarre in retrospect. they rarely gave me detention because it didn't work or i wouldn't show up but instead they'd make really passive aggressive or just straight up cruel comments about what a loser i was and give me made up roles in school events where i was publicly humiliated in front of an audience and tell me it was my own fault i had no friends. they literally had beef with a 12 year old.
#🐉#like. i was a real piece of work and nothing but time and experience and self awareness were ever going to fix that#but i think there might have been better ways to deal with me than bullying me about it
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Imagine looking at a character whose entire premise is that in every stage of his life, he's made every version of himself into someone that inspires people to such a degree that EVERY SINGLE VERSION OF HIM has people wanting to literally follow in his footsteps in some way or another.....
And coming to the conclusion that like.....the most important things about him are the sum of all his trappings. His entirely homemade developed from scratch could not exist if not for what he already was and brought with him BEFORE crafting this newest version of himself trappings, with his greatest trait throughout all of it being his adaptability; his ability and willingness to roll with the punches and not try to simply weather any opposition or changes to his life but instead reshape himself as needed to better fit INTO whatever new shape his life and the world around him takes. All while managing to carry the most innate, fundamental and necessary aspects of himself from one version to the next. Thus every single version of himself is different but simultaneously every single version of himself is also undeniably the same person.
The strength of this character, to me, will always be that he can be so many versions of himself, he can become so many things, all without ever actually losing or discarding any of the aspects of himself he considers most essential, the things he's not willing to lose or give up just to keep going. Finding that road not taken by most, usually because most never even think to look for it as an option. But one that he's always able to find because the one trick he's mastered in his tumultuous life is threading that needle of not just digging in his heels in an unproductive way but rather being selective about when and where he makes a stand and decides "this is not a thing I'm willing to compromise about" but here are places and ways I can and will change and evolve and adapt in order to make it possible for me to hold onto these parts and keep them as they are.
And that's why its always so mind-boggling to me that so many writers can't seem to think of anything else to do with Dick Grayson other than invent some new reason for him to just....not be that person, or to like just take the character whose most basic fundamental trait he's NOT about to compromise on is willingly giving up his spot in the driver's seat of his own life.....and make him just a passenger in his own life and stories.
Dick Grayson at age nine....at age nineteen...at age twenty nine....the one core thread running through all versions of him is the only way he's standing back and letting you call the shots for him or putting him on the sidelines in some way is over his dead body.
HOW he goes about that, what that looks like, who he becomes and what aspects of himself he plays up at some times and what traits he lets fall by the wayside at other times when they offer less in service to his primary goal here....that changes constantly. He changes constantly.
But those changes are almost always (or at least they used to be/should be IN MY OPINION) made with the intention of keeping certain things about him or his life as consistent as possible.
That's the duality of Dick Grayson that I'm here for. The inherent contradiction of him that COULD allow for endless conflict and breaking new narrative ground in all sorts of ways if mined properly:
His eternal willingness to compromise....but only ever in pursuit of doubling down on the ways he's not willing to compromise.
Forever walking that tightrope in ways that only a kid born and raised in a circus could ever hope to.
#see also: my grinding teeth when people disparage his circus origins#like the only thing its good for is colorful backstory and explaining his acrobatics#THERES. SO. MUCH. THERE.#theres so much EVERYWHERE in every aspect of his backstory and his preexisting comics and yet over and over we get#....what if we just ignored all that and did what the fuck ever as though this character has nothing integral to him or fundamental to say#to be fair my gripes with Taylor are not exactly interchangeable with my gripes with the previous runs#but I lump him in as an extension of them because while evocative of different SIDES of my ennui with these takes on Dick.....#the thing about Taylor's stuff to me (or the parts I read at least) is that its generic as hell while only retaining superficial elements#of Dick's character and stories in order to point to them and say see these are definitely about Dick Grayson. like....only in very surface#level ways. underneath that theyre basically generic superhero adventures that could easily be retooled to be about a pretty sizable number#of other characters. tbh with the whole alfred inheritance thing it honestly felt from the get go#that Taylor was more interested in writing a kinder gentler Batman like a Bruce from one of the animated shows like#The Brave and the Bold who gets along better with everyone else. even the way the Brave and the Bold largely exists to use Batman's#popularity as a star vehicle to platform his co-superhero for the episode lends itself to Taylor's approach in his NW run#with the central figure - only nominally DG imo - basically existing as a platform allowing for the drafting of any other character he want#to write in any given arc or story in a similar way to how Bruce is utilized in Brave and the Bold#anyway. idk idk. my issues with Taylor are not the same as the others exactly but also they are and also I just plain dont like the guy#so I complain about him at any given opportunity even when its not technically as accurate or relevant as it possibly could be#I Am Flawed. its fine though dont worry about it. its called being nuanced
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One of my mutuals opinions is the "bro code" thing, that Curly is one of those guys who wouldn't care about the victim because the perpetrator is his friend and I'm really banging my head on the wall like that other anon. I've only played through the game once but Curly's behaviour/reactions etc read completely different from the "bro code" thing and I have to wonder if my mutual and I even played the same game.. like the constant digs at him from Jimmy, his body language in his face reveal and so on like you mentioned in your post. While this game is a little different obviously, it kind of reminded of a point in Alice Madness Returns that makes it very clear that Alice's pain blinded her to the abuse of the other children and her failure to act earlier because of it. Curly is guilty of a similar inaction but it doesn't change the fact he was a victim of Jimmy too. I don't think I can look at it any other way because both of these games have really stuck with me.
I genuinely think it really is the idea that people want a simple easy to blame problem and the idea that the only relatable victims of abuse are those that "surpass" it or do a lot to help others. When it comes to victims, especially those that don't fit the typical demographics, who either accidently perpetuate it, enable it or aren't ideal in some way shape or form, people jump to ignore what they went through as it's easier than dealing with those conflicting sentiments.
The bro-code conversation in Mouthwashing stems from a concept I generally dislike that there had to be something about Curly that made him meet or keep being friends with someone like Jimmy. I think people genuinely underestimate how many like decent and good people just know an asshole or are friends with someone who is really bad outside of their view/established dynamics. The game makes it clear none of the inaction against Jimmy is because of a lack of care, it is a lack of understanding from the privaleged postions they have as men to not have to worry about what Anya does/went through and the type of extremes men like Jimmy will go through to cover it up. They are all too preoccupied in their own strifes.
Another thing I see being oversaturated the idea that you have to be a freak, misanthrope or have a disorder to do the thing Jimmy does. The game is an escalation, it's a spiral that I don't see people comment on that Jimmy was not likely having the mood swings and episodes of rage/frustration we were seeing in the game. This is after they all start experiencing the worst moments in their lives that he got THAT openly bad. Of course, this is just my interpretation but much like in real life, people that go to extremes like that usually live mundane lives. It's a pressure cooker affect to where the stress made them pop. It's self inflicted but still the case.
I really think people need to be more willing to acknowledge that not everything needs to be an extreme or in black and white or easy to understand. It doesn't need to be happy or have an answer or solution, especially in the cases where the abused sadly helps perpetuate what they experience. It's not he should've known better from experience or shouldn't he have known what could've happened because victims tend to not like to think in matters of the worst. Not to mention, especially in cases of abuse where it feels so personally directed that you don't expect to happen to someone else.
#i also hear the bro code thing in tandem with his comments on saying he knows Jimmy but that is also in a much different context than#if he said it when Anya was actively telling him about the dead pixel or the pregnancy or even when she told jimmy that was about himself#and getting between Anya and Jimmy as in he knows Jimmy and knows he wont try anything when hes around not that he doesnt think hes#doing anything or doesn't believe Anya and Im a bit annoyed people shorthand or try to recontextualize the statements he makes about it#cause even the let me talk to him line is more in concern of what Jimmy could be doing and less wanting to make sure hes okay and#being more worried about his friend than Anya in that moment like removing the context makes the sentiments sound more uncaring#and typically but the context is how they are deconstructed to give the story and themes a deeper nuance because Anya is happy that Curly#says that becuase he leads it under the idea of protecting her as he knows and she has likely seen/experienced it enough that Jimmy#back down/off around Curly typically as we see he does relatively subdue Jimmy's attitude before the eval and it only gets bad once the#scene at the birthday party happens when Jimmy is likely in a mode where hes not going to listen to Curly about anything after cause he fee#personally betrayed in a selfish egotistical way like the game is a deconstruction nothing is supposed to a typical one to one on the#concepts it handles. this also ties to me like getting more and more annoyed everytime is see a post making Curly the most milktoast#no opinions ever sort of guy when he does have a personality outside of enabling Jimmy and has opinions on things like the QnA's#talking about him being snow Tony Hawk flesh him out more realistically than think pieces saying he has no opinions on anything#and would never take stances like this is a immediate dire circumstance with multiple facets I dont think hed hesitate to help if he active#saw like someone getting attacked on the street or that hes a centrist that doesnt care about womans issues like this is the equivalent#of when a character gets dumbed down to their like favorite food and one defining aspect of themselves and even then I feel like everyone#else but the mouthwashing fandom has a better grasp of that aspect before they make it unrecognizable.#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#ask#anon
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why does every reconciliation fic go like this
#my dc posting#jason todd#red hood#jason todd fanart#ugh i forgot to change tim n dick's skin colours aa i already put my drawing stuff away whatever#bruce wayne#dick grayson#tim drake#<- main offenders#no but. jason will be making some absolutely great points#ill be cheering him on like YEAH know ur fucking value good job call them the fuck out dont fall for their shit!!#then there will be one (1) event n suddenly the author pulls a complete 180#all of jason's valid issues n complaints r swept away without ever being solved#at most he's given a few flimsy excuses or justifications#n suddenly hes all happy n dandy w them#like 🤨🤨🤨 what!!!#like nothing changes nobody makes any effort but apparently one sentence going 'omg no it wasnt like that jason 😭' is enough to sweep#everything under the rug#like why have i never read a fic where anyone actually works to change. to right the wrongs theyve done. to apolgoize and do better.#aside form of course jason going 'i see now that murder is wrong i was stupid n angry for no good reason good thing the pit madness has bee#solved/managed better n i have apologized to Poor Little 10yo Baby Tim whom i hurt and traumatized So Badly how will he ever forgive me...'#'fuck my family wtf is wrong w these assholes' 'i killed the joker for like 3 minutes' 'i love you i have no further issues aside from#Teenage Angst which will be cured via being told my anger is disproportional and of course one (1) hug form my Dearest Father'#when will i read someone 'pullin the alfred card' and jason respondin w 'fuck alfred'. he deserves to be an asshole w the way hes treated..#ok ill stop now im just. very done w this stuff
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How TCF Deities are Simps for the "Hard to Get"
It's hilarious how the gods in TCF certainly seem to have a liking towards people who absolutely despise them:
(In Ancient Times) God of War: (sets a slave free) There you go, you're free now Sky Eating Water: Neat, thanks God of War: Now go and be a judge for me Sky Eating Water: (runs away)
Cage: That God of Death, he's so annoying!! God of Death: I wish she was my saint… 😢 Cale, would you-? Cale: N O . God of Death: Well, at least I still have Choi Jung Gun working for m- Choi Jung Gun: (beats him up with a broom)
God of Despair: (drug dealer style) Hey kid, wanna become a member of the demonic race?? Cale: No, you crazy psycho!!! God of Despair: Cute. Here, have a test to change your mind White Star: W-wait, I thought I was your- God of Despair: Heh, no! That Cale is clearly superior in every way White Star:😨
Alberu: (His entire life) I hate the Sun God church so much… Discriminating against my race, it's their fault my mother's people can't live in peace and my entire bloodline is cursed- Angelina: Cursed you say? No problem! Here, have this cool gun instead
#tcf#trash of the count's family#lcf#lout of the count’s family#humor#tcf humor#tcf god of death#tcf sun god#tcf sealed god#tcf god of war#the gods are simps with nothing better to do than bothering cool mortals they like#it's hilarious#and no i am not letting that broom thing go#it was one of the funniest things i've ever read about
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I miss u fnaf fandom I miss people having new interesting stuff to talk about like we did with SB and ruin and a large alive fanart and fanfic community and not ok this game had no comprehensible plot and this games plot was already revealed 2 years ago and its still like 6 months or more until it comes out
#sorry feeling sad about fnaf today 😔#its just like. as someone who was there the day sb dropped how did we get here to this point#went from bucketloads of potential with an engaging new era to boring#never letting any of the interesting main storylines appear on screen for years and years#like man#i thought the in between era with hw2 and the next game that was unknown at the time was the worst era#like the mains and the plot will come back eventually but its been 3 years borderline#the bonnie bully cassies dad tales books to game instead of the other way around 2 releases fully about the mimic stuff is just like#very disheartening#pandas.txt#discourse#went from exciting potential to ok so they just arent going to talk about anything ever again#ggy hints and hw2 candy cadet stories are the only things keeping me going#if they didnt exist id prob be actively giving up on them ever bringing 3 star back#& im not trying to say that bc i like 3 star & they havent been focused on everything is bad#they havent focused or done anything cool with VANNY gregory vanessa freddy ggy any of it#instead random shit like hw2 cassies dad mapbot death possession bonnie bully#like somehow theyve made everything about nothing + the mimic#plz announce the release before the end of the year already bc depending on what it is ill feel so much better#if we get hw2 dlc and it reveals if its about cassie vanny or cassies dad things will change so much
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as much as i enjoy the more wholesome fantasy high parents like jawbone and sklonda and the thistlesprings there’s something so compelling and achingly real about bill seacaster that makes him my favorite. he and fabian have a relationship that is so deeply unhealthy and entrenched in distorted ways of viewing other people and parenthood and the world, and yet is so fiercely and undeniably loving. like, is bill seacaster a good dad? what does being a good dad even mean for someone like bill? bill seacaster has such unrealistic and toxic expectations of fabian and a myopic, entirely self-centered way of relating to him for most of his life, and yet, you truly get the sense that even if fabian disappoints him again and again and never steps out of his shadow and never becomes the man bill wants him to be, bill will never love him any less than completely and unconditionally. bill seacaster is a man who has built his entire life and sense of identity around doing whatever he wants and never facing consequences and never thinking about anyone else. bill seacaster becomes disappointed in his son. and he finds the idea of that so unacceptable that, instead of demanding that fabian meet his expectations, bill loves him so much that he reconsiders his entire concept of himself and the purpose of his life, and he grows. a man whose legacy and identity was based around selfishness and narcissism and unwillingness to bend, and fabian makes him change.
#bill seacaster death scene will always make me lose my mind frankly#i thought you were just going to be me; a way for me to live forever. but its better than that. the story’s going to get better#mine#fantasy high#bill seacaster#fabian seacaster#like bill wants nothing more than for fabian to be better than him and so no matter what fabian becomes he WILL be better than him#he will always be proud of his darling boy no matter what because he’ll change the very definition of pride#like he’s kind of a terrible dad who’s absolutely fucked up his son and given fabian so many issues#and yet he loves him more than anything else including himself and his sense of self and everything he’s ever valued#idk i just love that. i love the way the show says you dont have to forgive your parents when they hurt you. you can hate them and thats ok#but it also says sometimes your dad hurts you and he loves you enough to realize he was wrong and change for the better#and you can still love him even when you know he hurt you. that’s okay too
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dust with a fucked up savior complex save me dust with a fucked up savior complex SAVE ME!!!! he's literally sooo savior complex coded. he killed his underground to "save" everyone and stop the human from killing them. he thinks that it's better that he does the murdering instead of the human because he has better intentions. he's sad at the beginning (rightfully so) but savior complex dust really gets so much cooler when you add in the fact that dust eventually started to LIKE killing his underground 😭😭 like just..... imagine a manic dust who's gone mad going around claiming he's helping everyone with what he's doing when he's really,,,, not. soo cool.,,, (like dude how are you SAVING people if they don't exist after you've killed the person who was killing them. there is nobody to be safe but yourself anymore) (can you tell this was inspired by the one comic of dust killing his papyrus and saying "it was better if i did it" or something)
but also also on the other hand,,,,, revenge fueled dust??? he's gotten SO bitter from the repeated resets and genos that he's genuinely bitter enough to risk it all to stop the human. he doesn't have pure intentions in this one. dust doesn't claim he's saving anybody with what he's doing murdering them all. he KNOWS it's bad and wrong and hypocritical but he does it anyways because he wants to not only stop the human but to make them suffer. he purposely wants them to keep coming back after killing them just so he can kill them over and over and over and have them experience a fragment of the suffering he did with having all of his friends and family killed. but i think a revenge fueled dust (in contrast to savior complex dust) would be a lot cooler if he still felt shitty for killing everyone. it's painful to do but hate is stronger than love and dust's hate for the human is MUCH stronger than his love for the underground atp
#oooffff dust sans.... you are such an amazing CONCEPT!!!!#his au is so vague and barely elaborated on that its just so amazing for coming up with any sort of idea for. I LOVE IT I LOVE IT#these are all just different motivations for dust. salvation vs revenge#because really all dust is is sans kills underground to stop human. there is no other elaboration aside from some small pieces#dust sans is peak representation of the utmv and why it's great because#u can come up with cool ideas like this and still have it be semi canon esque#nothing will ever truely be canon unleas its from ask dusttale themselves but that just allows for cooler creativity :3#i love making dust a little more crazy that i perceive him to be#he's DEFINITELY the most mentally stable one of the mtt but once in a while let him be a freak too#mentally unwell mtt tier list from best to worst goes dust horror killer#horror is fucked up too but he has conscience and empathy and is partially environmentally affected#but killer just has too much going on with him that's fucked up that there is NO DAMN WAYYY he is any better than dust or horror#killer needs to be sent to the insane asylum and given the white room treatment (just like error!)#hey so that first concept of dust with a savior complex is ABSOLUTELY what inspired savior#i saw the idea of dust with savior complex and decided to give that to killer to make dust!killer. lookie at that#ohhhh is this a rant or hc????#i have too many damn interpretations of the mtt for me to call EVERYTHING a hc when its not#tricule rant#dust sans#murder time trio#bad sanses#bad sans gang#nightmare's gang#utmv#sans au#i have 40 fucking drafts and yet i am not posting majority of them. what is wrong with me#and like 10 of them are dust based 😭😭😭 another 10 are horror based 😭😭😭 just post the damn drafts triglycercule!!!!!#nooo but the ideas aren't cool and only i would like them.... i say as i post this
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i dont think i have the right to ask this, since i so rarely have the energy to reply, but .. i want my drive to draw art back and this awful depression gone (or at least made less bad..) so desperately that i will bear the shame of asking it anyway, just in the hopes of something getting that spark i had held onto for so long to light back up
though .. im not sure what i want to ask for, i guess .. anything? something you'd like to see me draw, a compliment, a question- whether zelda or oc related, a little totk rant of your own, a picture of your cat, a random fun fact-
#ganondoodles talks#i feel guilty just writing this#i feel like i do so little and ask for so much#too much#and the good ol 'you dont have the right to feel this miserable- theres people literally dying' is back ever so strong#i have barely been looking at anything online#idk why its gotten this bad now of all times#of course this is nothing you are requuired to do#i am not trying to put pressure on anyone#or make anyone feel bad#or responsible for me bad feeling#i just ... want out of this .... and dont seem to be able to do it myself#i am hoping all i need is just a little push to get me over the edge of fighting back again#i know therapy and/or meds would probably be better#but the former is basically impossible to get here- and i got bad experiences with it#and the latter would be a long process of things that cause me so much stress and im afraid it wont make anythign better#.............if our doctor would even be willing to get anything going#maybe this is all just headache sleep depreived wahteever thought sludge#.. im going to bed :U
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^^ screenshot, not actually my post, I could never say such a thing ^^
I don't really get this take, it's not the first time I've seen it, and it's just... I don't even know.
green is the color of war for her house, but it's also just her house's color, and for a girl ripped up from her life as a hightower and made a Targaryen Queen of all things, she started wearing her house colors compared to her color (blue) or the Targaryen colors (red) probably to cling to some sense of normalcy and identity.
not only that, but from a costuming perspective the symbolism is right there, you're just missing it. it's not about war, that one dress had been war, that's why the comment is made. the color is Alicent no longer trying to be a Targaryen, no longer changing herself and ignoring the pain she's in, and instead being her own person despite her position. she starts wearing green instead of red, the two colors being opposites, when she stops trying to pander to her lost friend, stops trying to fit in and be this new person. she took a stand with that dress, she declared 'war' on this false identity and the fruitless effort she had put in to try and smooth the tensions in the family.
after that, the green is showing she remains herself, a Hightower. not a Targaryen.
I love her green, I love how she holds onto that piece of her, she doesn't let anyone take it or change it. she holds true to herself in this one simple way as to wear her house colors.
also how can you deem a character boring just based on the colors they wear... it's just such a boring and outlandish take.
#she wears different shades snd styles with different accents snd accessories#esch one has its own story own meaning#the symbolism in her costuming fsr outweighs that of Rhaenyra's#even if she wears less colors#plus#greens her color. nothing ever looked better on her#just say you don't like to see my girl slay the green better then Rhaenyra did any of her own colors and get on with it#alicent hightower#anti team black#anti team black fans#pro team green#pro Alicent in green and green only#(though I would have killed to see her blue again. don't get me wrong)#its so integral to her character#even if you go with the “signaling war” idea for every dress#her and her kids were a beacon of war because of the Targaryen's sround her donned in red#she was signalling war#the war Rhaenyra brought by abandoning her causing her to give up her red garb and take on her how color#causing her to need to protect her own#causing the divide that festered into war#I may not love the concept as much as the the one I mentioned earlier in the post but it has good standing
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The compelling thing about Jason as a character is that I never doubted that he cared about the world just because there weren’t panels of him being overly zealous about “restorative community care”
I’m not coming after anyone who wants to see that kind of stuff, but I do think seeking | that | as confirmation that Jason cares about the world is pretty narrow
#shoving an arc like that into his comics to “show he cares about people”#after having him repeatedly say things like “nothing I ever did was for good. it was all just selfish anger” in recent comics#would be the final nail in the “see! he's redeeming himself! he CAN be likable!” coffin (pathetic)#it's literally what his antis have been suggesting would make his character “so much better”#kelseethe#see also: “people would have a hard time knowing whether Jason loves them”#why did he gift Thomas' watch to Bruce all those years later + possibly even after utrh happened#why is he always silently forgiving the shitty treatment from his family almost like he wants to maintain some sort of relationship w/ them#as for “showing that he cares about the world”#the most obvious “evidence” is right there#why would he continue to fight tooth and nail to have a place in Gotham as a vigilante#both warding off and enduring harassment after harassment from Bruce while hearing the same message every time#“hey. you're doing this to yourself. you can make it all go away if you just do as I say and quit for good.”#“you'll even get to be my son again”#it’s not like he gets recognition/praise for doing what he does either unlike Bruce Dick or Tim#what could possibly be in it for him#wouldn't it be that much easier to “not give a crap about the world” on a beach in Capri instead of in the Gotham sewers every month#anyway Jason should decapitate rapists and poison more child traffickers and not cry about it five seconds after
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