#like not to be 'eat the rich' on main but this is literally what we should mean by 'eat the fucking rich'

[mixingpumpkins]

And then there’s this

[asterias-record-shop]

ok but like maybe stiles stilinski with a spoiled rich reader maybe who has vibes like lydia?¿? maybe w number 21 ?¿? possibly…

—𓆩[warmth]𓆪—

omg, this is literally the longest fic I've ever written for this blog, I really hope you guys enjoy it!

𓆩[main masterlist]𓆪 𓆩[request/ask me something!]𓆪 𓆩[updated bingo card!]𓆪 𓆩[bingo masterlist]𓆪 𓆩[join the bingo taglist!]𓆪

𓆩♡𓆪 CHARACTER - Stiles Stilinski x Fem! Rich! Vampire! Reader

𓆩♡𓆪 TYPE - fluff, smut, maybe slight angst

𓆩♡𓆪 WORD COUNT - 6.0K

𓆩♡𓆪 SUMMARY - No one expected you and Stiles to start dating. Come on, a rich vampire posing as a high school student who could’ve been a real life Cullen? Fuck no. But, it happened, and Stiles fucking loves you - and your fangs - probably more than he should, and he wants to try something.

𓆩♡𓆪 STORY WARNINGS - foul language and smut || I was forced to watch twilight and this is what happened I love it || kinda sub stiles || mentions of mates || scent glands || marking || mentions of Wattpad & fanfic || i got WAY too into this shit man- || stiles did research || biting kink || blood kink || multiple rounds || oral || face sitting || cum eating || creampie || unprotected sex ||

“So, tell me again how this happened?” Coach was baffled as you sat in his class, your hand in Stiles’ as the topic interrupted your lesson in your economics class. “Like, the dating part. How the heck did you end up with her, Stilinski?!”

You cleared your throat, raising your hand. “I uhm… we’ve been dating for a while, Coach.”

“Yeah, I know! I just didn’t believe it until I saw Stilinski trying to kiss you when he thought I wasn’t looking! Come on kid, you’re that desperate?!” Bobby groaned, pressing his face into his hands. “Why is it always the nice ones who get with the… the Stiles?”

You laughed. “I don’t know who you’ve talked to, Coach, but I am not nice.”

“Yeah, she’s not!” Scott said, twirling his pencil before you glared at him. “Nice. Sh-She’s not nice.”

“Oh, shut up, McCall! You’re just mad because Stiles likes hanging out more with me than you,” you stuck your tongue out at him, letting out a soft humph as you cross your legs under the desk. “And he’s mad I took his boyfriend too.”

“Y/N, we weren’t-”

“Hush darling, Scott and I are talking,” you say, smiling widely at him as you kiss his nose. “Thank you baby.”

“This isn’t happening,” Coach groaned into his hand before the bell rings, a giggle falling from your lips. “Right? This isn’t happening?”

“Oh it’s happening!” You laughed, standing as Stiles cleared his throat.

“Y/N, baby, I have practice today.” He said, Scott coming behind him and sticking his tongue out at you. “I’m sorry.”

You pouted, pretending to think. “Why don’t you just skip? I’ll buy the school new lacrosse gear.”

“I’m right here!” Coach yelled, but quickly got up. “I would be interested in new lacrosse gear though.”

“Yeah, see? Come on, let’s skip.”

“No! We have the quarter-finals this week, he can’t miss. Y/N, he can’t miss,” Scott turned to you, hoping that he could persuade you with those stupid puppy dog eyes. “Come on.”

“Oh I forgot about that,” coach mumbles, glaring at the wall. “Okay, he’s gotta come, but the school would like new lacrosse gear.”

“Here, how about this,” you say, shaking your head as you fix your skirt. “Stiles goes to practice and I’m on the field.”

Coach scoffed. “On the field? Doing what?”

“I don’t know,” you hummed, leaning on the table as you pulled Stiles closer. He followed obediently as you licked your teeth, humming. “Play lacrosse?”

Scott scoffed. “Play lacrosse?”

You tilted your head, crossing your legs. “What, like it’s hard?”

Coach starts to laugh, nodding. “Okay! Okay, you’ll be on the field! Stiles, lend your girlfriend some clothes, we’re getting new lacrosse gear!”

Coach walked out as you giggle, Stiles staring at your smile and the sharpened canines that he fucking loved to stare at.

Scott starts to walk out, pausing to look back at the two of you. “Stiles, you coming?” 

“I-In a minute, Scott,” he smiled back at his friend before looking at you who positioned yourself on the desk with crossed legs. “I’ll be there.”

He hummed as he walked out, Stiles letting his hands settle on your hips as you parted your legs so he could slot himself between them. “Hey, my darling.”

You giggled, pushing back his hair. “Hey, honey,” you whisper back, smiling as you nuzzle your nose against his with a soft sigh. “Do you… do you think I’m too mean to Scott?”

“You’re not mean,” he says, laughing. “You and him have like… an ancestral rivalry. He’ll get over it.”

You giggle, pulling him closer for another firm kiss, groaning as your tongue pushed into his mouth, your hand pulling his head back by tugging on his hair. He groaned loudly as your tongue circled around his, humming as your head pounded. You could hear his heart beating incredibly fast, his arteries pulsating, and by hell’s name, you could smell the horniness drifting off of his body, along with the smell of dog because of Scott.

Even newly turned, you could still control yourself with Stiles as of yet. You both had had sex a few times, more than a few actually, but that was before you were actually aware of his… human-ness. You were born a vampire, now in your final years of highschool as you aged regularly and your family was kept alive by blood bags supplied by the numerous hospitals your family owned.

Your instincts never got in the way because of how well fed you were, but this was different. You could feel everything; his heart, his arteries, his veins, fuck even his cock pulsating. Your heightened senses caught everything, groaning as you attempted to pull him closer, another loud groan falling from his lips as you pulled him closer, a choke filling your ears making you pull away, your fangs grazing his bottom lip making him hiss.

A shiver runs down your back as he lets out a soft groan, laughing slightly as he licks his lip. “You alright, Y/N?”

You hummed, not really paying attention to his words as you stared at his lip dripping with that delicious coppery liquid, leaning forward to lick against his lip and a loud groan left his mouth as you sucked on his lip, desperate for that taste. It was different though, his blood tasted sweet, unlike blood bags, animals, and even humans for fucks sake.

“Y-Y/N,” he whispered, groaning. “I-It kind of hurts.”

You gasped as you pulled away, staring at his slightly swollen bottom lip as he smiled down at you, pushing back your hair. “I-I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

He shook his head, humming so that you would look at him. “Hey, Y/N, don’t worry about it,” he says, his smile growing as he leaned down and pressed a firm kiss to your lips. “I’ll be a blood bank for you any day.”

You inhale sharply, shaking your head. “Don’t say that. Y-You don’t know how dangerous that is.”

“Why?” He asked, tilting his head. “I know you can control yourself.”

You scoffed, pushing him back. “Did you not see what I just did? If you wouldn’t have said something, I would’ve kept going.”

“But I did say something,” he says, quickly stepping forward and holding your hips again. “Just because I said it hurt-ed, doesn’t mean I didn’t like it.”

You couldn’t help but giggle, shaking your head. “Hurt-ed?”

He hummed, nodding. “Hurted. It’s the past tense.”

You shook your head, laughing. “No it’s not, the past tense is still hurt.”

He rolled his eyes. “Not anymore, it’s hurted now.”

You giggle, shaking your head before sighing. “I’m gonna go write that check, okay? I… I think I’m gonna go home, too.”

His brows ruffled, quickly blocking you from jumping down. “Why?”

“Because it’s not safe for me to be around so many people,” you responded, humming as you quickly went around him. “Come to my house after school? We need to talk.”

He quickly caught your hand, one you could’ve easily avoided, but he shook his head. “Y-You’re not breaking up with me, right?”

You giggled, smiling sadly with a shake of your head. “Just meet me at my house, alright?”

He cleared his throat but nodded, inhaling deeply before slowly pulling you in for a soft kiss. “I love you, Y/N, I love you so much.”

You hummed softly, nodding. “I love you too, my darling.”

He swallowed as you walked out, pulling out your checkbook and writing a number with a lot of zeros on the main line before crossing out the rest, signing and doing the rest of the things before passing by Coach and pressing it to his chest. “Let me know if you need more, alright? I’ll see you tomorrow!”

“What? Where are you going?” He yelled out as you waved back at him.

“Have something to do at home! I’ll see you!” You yelled, looking back with a smile. “Good luck, Coach!”

He mumbled something as you walked out, quickly making your way back home and parking outside your secluded mansion that truly could’ve been out of the movie. It didn’t take you long to get up to your room, quickly getting caught by Kirshe, one of the vampire elders that your parents were friends with. “Y/N, are you alright?”

Of course she knew what you were feeling. “O-Oh, I’m fine,” you responded, humming with a slight smile. “Just some… relationship problems.”

She paused, her golden eyes trailing down your body before flashing a bright red. “He doesn’t know he’s your mate, does he?”

You laughed, shaking your head. “Not only that, Kirshe.”

She hummed, taking a deep inhale. “And he’s human too, isn’t he?”

You inhaled deeply, nodding. “Taken in by a pack of dogs.”

Kirshe laughed. “Oh, it’s always the best of us, my love. He’s… why are there problems now?”

“I tasted his blood,” you giggled, shaking your head with a scoff. “It’s just like the stories describe it. Addicting, sweet… perfect.”

“Do you want to turn him?” She asked, making you shrug. “Does he want to be turned?”

“I don’t… I don’t know.”

Back at the school, Stiles was going crazy. “Do you think she’s going to break up with me?”

“She would never,” Scott responded, scoffing. “She’s too in love with you.”

“You’re just mad because you thought she was hot,” Stiles grinned, putting on a shirt that hadn’t been near Scott. He knew how much you hated the smell of wolves. “Right?”

“Oh shut up,” Scott scoffed, shaking his head. “Where did she go anyways?”

“Home.” Stiles said, humming. “Why do you ask?”

“Because I can smell how horny you are.”

Stiles laughed, shaking his head. “Yeah, I uhm… we were making out earlier. She was… sucking on my lip after it started bleeding.”

Scott froze, quickly looking at him. “What?”

“You’re overreacting so much,” Stiles said, shrugging. “We’ve had sex before.”

“But she’s never sucked your blood, right?”

Stiles could feel his cheeks heat up, about to say something before Scott groaned loudly. “Dude, the smell got stronger! Holy shit, does that turn you on?!”

“Fuck yeah it does!” Stiles said, thankful the two of them were the only ones in the locker room. “Dude, when we like, get heated, she runs her fangs along my neck, holy shit, it’s so hot.”

“And you want her to suck your blood?” Scott paused, staring at him. “You want her to turn you?”

Stiles paused, staring down at his bag before inhaling deeply. Is this what Bella Swan was feeling when she was with Edward Cullen?

“I want to be with her for the rest of my life,” Stiles said, grabbing his bag before smiling at Scott. “If it’s this one or one hundred, I don’t care. I want her, forever.”

Scott inhaled deeply before sighing, shaking his head with a slight smile. “You’re really in love with her, aren’t you?”

Stiles smiled, all sarcasm gone. “Yeah, I am.”

“What about your dad?” Scott asked the inevitable question, inhaling deeply. “I-I’m not trying to like… ruin anything, but if you get turned… what are you going to do to him?”

Stiles smiled, shrugging. “He’ll be my dad. Always. What he wants to do is up to him.”

After that, he waved goodbye and quickly drove to your house, way over the speed limit to get there faster. As soon as he pulled up, he smiled when he saw you on your balcony, staring at him like you knew he was coming - which you probably did.

He quickly got out, waving up at you as you giggled. Normally your family was there to greet him, but they were obviously gone as he walked inside and up to your room.

He doesn’t knock, mainly because there was no point, slowly walking behind you as you stood on your balcony. His arms go to wrap around your waist, leaning onto your body as he pressed soft kisses to your neck, your hand going to hold his jaw as you exhaled deeply. “How was practice?”

“Good,” he mumbled, shrugging. “Missed you. I changed into something that I hope doesn’t smell like Scott.”

You giggle, nodding. “And it doesn’t, thank you.”

“So uhm…” he whispered, humming against your neck as you moved your hands to settle over his. “What did you want to talk about?”

“Well, you read up on vampires when you met me, right?” You hummed, smiling as he nodded into your neck. “Did you get to the part about mates?”

He paused, his hands tightening around your waist. Did you find your mate? He had read up about them, but never really retained the information because no one ever spoke of them, but obviously for pure blooded vampires like your family, of course they existed.

“I-I… I did,” he whispers, pulling you closer. “There wasn’t much about how it works for bloodborne vampires.”

“Would you like for me to tell you how it works?” You asked, smiling up at him.

“Wh-Why would you tell me if I’m not your mate?” Stiles whispered, slight annoyance in his voice before you started laughing. “What?”

“Stiles, you’re so lucky you’re hot,” you turned in his arms, wrapping your arms around his neck. “You’re my mate.”

He paused, staring down at you blankly. He was your mate? Why?

When you started laughing, he realized he must’ve said it out loud, your hands cupping his face. “Why not? I think it’s fitting, don’t you?”

“Th-That’s not what I meant,” he didn’t mean to stutter, it always happened around you though. He groaned loudly as your fingers dragged down his neck, sparks following your touch as you smiled up at him. “I meant like… how are we mates?”

You paused, pursing your lips. “Kirshe said mates are decided by the gods where in past lives their love ‘changed the fate of the world’,” you mumbled, inhaling deeply as you stroked his hair. “Do you think we could’ve changed the fate of the world, Stiles? In our past lives?”

He inhaled deeply, nodding as he leaned his forehead down against yours. “I know we could’ve,” he whispered back, pressing his lips softly against yours. “Because I love you more than anything else in the world.”

You smiled widely, letting out a loud laugh as he picked you up and turned the both of you around to go back into your bedroom. He slowly laid you in the bed, crawling over your body and laying down next to you to pull you into his chest. You sighed heavily against his chest, stroking his shirt before pulling it down slightly to see his exposed skin. You could hear his heart beating, his valves and ventricles pumping, his lungs inhaling and exhaling, his diaphragm expanding and deflating - fuck, at this point, you hated that he was human at this point.

“Y/N?”

You hummed, looking up at him as your fingers trail over his exposed collarbone. “Yes, my love?”

“I-I was wondering… if you could uhm… turn me. Like, actually turn me… into a vampire like you,” Stiles said as you started to sit up, staring at your face pinched up as you inhaled and exhaled deeply. “Y/N? What’s wrong?”

“Stiles, why do you want to be a vampire?” You asked, staring at him like he was crazy. “You would watch the people you love die over and over again. You have the choice to grow old and-”

“And what about you?” He whispered, taking your hand in his. Besides his dad and Scott, you were the only person alive right now that he cared for, especially after he was impacted by Void. You stuck with him even after that, how could he let you go now? “You would watch me grow old and wait for me to be born again? Huh?”

“That’s not what I meant, Stiles-”

“I want to be with you,” the brunette filled in, staring at you with those whiskey colored eyes. “For the rest of my life, and I want it to be where you don’t have to watch me die in the end. I want to spend… the rest of my life young with you.”

“But in turning you, I’d watch you die too,” you whispered, inhaling deeply as your eyes watered. You had thought about this before, turning him, but then you thought about what he would go through. You were the first bloodborne vampire ever recorded, because of course the Court took note of every vampire turned, but you were the first one born of two Elders who didn’t think they could get pregnant. You knew what vampires went through when they’re turned, but what would Stiles go through? Turned by a bloodborne who was their mate? “You have to die to become a vampire, Stiles. I would have to kill you.”

“Then kill me.” He sat up, holding your face in his hands as he smiled at you. “I’ve died before, what's another time?”

“Not like this, Stiles,” you whisper, gasping as he wiped the tears from falling down your cheeks, leaning forward to kiss against your skin. “The turning of a mate isn’t something that just happens. It takes days, months, rituals, I have to mark you, we have to be married for fucks sake-!”

You couldn’t finish, gasping as he pressed his lips to yours, pulling you into his lap with a loud groan. “Well then mark me. That’s the start, right?”

You gaped at him, his stupid smile as he stared at you. “You know that means I have to bite you, right?”

“Yeah, it’s like those werewolf stories on Wattpad.”

“You were on Wattpad?”

“It was a dare, moving along. Does it like stay a bite mark or does it like turn into a tattoo?”

“I don’t know, a bloodborne has never marked anyone before,” you say, but your eyes narrow at him. “The hell are you reading where it turns into a tattoo?”

“I don’t know, it turns into their initials,” he shrugged, but paused. “Do I get to mark you too?”

“You want to mark me?” You say, smiling with a slight bounce making him hold back a grunt. “You can mark me right now.”

He smirked, staring at you as you slipped off your shirt to expose your shoulder. “Didn’t you say there’s a process?”

“Not for marking,” you respond, but pause. “But if you mark me, we have to get married soon, because I have to turn you in the span of a few months. Or maybe not because I'm bloodborne, so it could be different.”

“What if I don’t get turned?”

“You turn into a lust crazed monster until I do turn you, but it’s more lethal because since you’re so obsessed with sex, your mind doesn’t process the turn until your body is on fire. Well, it feels like it’s on fire.”

He pursed his lips. “So for the rest of eternity we’re just going to be a rich family hidden in the woods? Like the Cullens?”

You laughed, shaking your head. “You’re just gonna ignore the fact that you’ll turn into a lust crazed monster?”

He grinned. “Well, who am I lusting for? You, right?”

“Well yeah, you have my blood in your veins, so of course you lust after me.”

“I see no problem in that.” He responds, ignoring the fact that his body might not register the turn.

You laughed, shaking your head as you pulled his hands to your back to unclasp your bra. “Well, you want to get this mating thing started, don’t you?” Your fingers move to trail down his chest after he unclasped your bra, your skin cold to the touch until his warm hands flattened against your back. “When you first bite, it’ll taste odd until that zing runs up your back. Then, I’ll tell you when to stop, alright? As soon as you stop, your mind might get kind of hazy and you’ll probably be really horny, alright?”

He laughed. “More horny than I am now? Impossible.”

You couldn’t help but giggle, tugging on the hem of his shirt to pull it off. Immediately, he pulls away and raises his arms for you to take off his shirt, your eyes staring at his mole covered chest. You inhale shakily as you finally meet his eyes, your hands pressed against his warm chest as he pushed his face into your neck, pressing firm kisses to your neck as you pulled him closer before kissing his ear. 

“Are you sure you want this, Stiles?” You whisper, holding his face as you pull away. “It doesn’t have to happen now.”

He smiled up at you, shaking his head as he continued to press kisses to your neck, his teeth grazing your skin. “For the rest of eternity, remember?”

You smile, inhaling deeply as his tongue flattened against your neck making you lean your head to the side.

“Where do I bite?”

“Anywhere,” you mumbled, your mind hazy as you inhaled the smell that was so uniquely him, whiskey and mountain air combined with pine that made you walk straight toward him when you moved to town. “Anywhere you want.”

He pauses, pulling away to tilt his head up at you. “So it doesn’t have to be on your neck like in the stories?”

You laughed, shaking your head. “Of course not. Anywhere you bite, like you said, it turns into initials surrounded by a slight imprint of your bite.” 

He pauses, letting his eyes trail over your bare torso as he slowly moves so that you were actually seated in his lap. “Can I do it…” he lets his eyes trail over your skin, humming as he pressed a soft kiss to the space of skin a little lower to where the end of your clavicle was. “Here?”

“Why there?”

“Because,” he whispered, his eyes almost darkening as he let his tongue flatten against your skin, getting it wet with his spit as you groaned, tilting your head back. Your hips automatically roll into his, a loud groan falling from his mouth as he pulls away for a minute. “You gotta show it off, don’t you? Gets you to wear those low cut shirts I fuckin’ love.”

You gasped as his teeth finally sunk into your skin, your body basically on fire as he groaned against your skin. Like you said, it tasted weird at first, coppery and tangy until it flooded his mouth, the smell of the perfume you wore that he learned wasn’t actually perfume shifting into taste instead of the layers of smell you always smelled like. It was sweet and fruity, like strawberries and cherries with sweet cream and that white angel cake, tangy from the berries and sweet from the pastries.

Fuck, it tasted so good. His teeth were deep in your skin, the only cooling part of your body where his teeth sank and drew blood, his hot body making yours feel even hotter.

You could feel your mind get hazy, your eyes rolling back as he tried to suck harder, a loud groan falling from his lips as his hands pawed at your ass, your hips rutting into his almost automatically before you tugged on his hair. “St-Sti, not too much, you could get sick.”

He basically whined, only pulling away by the tug of his hair before licking over the bite mark left on your skin. He panted, watching it as though it would change into the black tattoo-ink like color he was truly expecting it to turn in an instant.

You giggled, quickly catching his jaw before pulling him up to look at you. “It’s not going to happen until I mark you first, my love.”

He stared up at you, eyes a dark chocolate color, lips slightly stained and his tongue tinted a darker red. “Oh.”

You giggle, leaning down to press firm kisses to his skin, never stopping your firm thrusts of your clothed hips against his own, tongue trailing around his skin scattered with moles. “Where do you want it, baby?”

“Where everyone can see,” his hands were shaking from excitement, the taste of your blood sending electricity through his body, tongue flattening against your shoulder and holding back the urge to sink his teeth in again. “Wherever you want it to be, as long as it’s on show.”

“So…” you whisper, letting your tongue trail down the side of his jaw, pushing against the moles under his ear. “Like, here? Or… lower?”

“A-A little lower, please,” he whispered, words breathy as he focused on your hips rolling into his, hard and your hot cunt sliding against his hard cock. He could feel your wetness through your shorts and his jeans, hissing as you leaned forward and kept your hips there, releasing your weight just a bit to keep his cock slotted between your folds. “Fuck, please.”

You hummed, your tongue flattening on the pulse filling your ears until going to the side of his neck. “Here?”

“Mhm,” he merely hummed, nodding into your neck as his hands shakily grabbed your hips. “D-Don’t stop your moving hips, please.”

You giggle, your eyesight basically blurring as you stare at his neck, that one mole catching your eye before you inhaled deeply and felt your canines extend, a comical shing filling the room as you sunk your teeth into his skin. You could barely focus on his cock rubbing against your clothed cunt, one of his hands slipping in between you both to tug your shorts and underwear to the side, pushing his fingers into your leaking cunt and his fingers thrusting into your cunt. You were so tight, so so tight and wet, two of his fingers easily pushing into you and rolling his fingers inside of you.

You were so distracted with the taste of his blood, pushing in and out, in and out, but it was nothing compared to how good he tasted. He tasted like caramel, underlying with nutty butterscotch and whiskey, maybe a slight bit of salt that balanced everything out. You groaned loudly, eyes flying open as he pulled his finger out, the sound of him unbuttoning his pants and unzipping them to pull his cock out of his boxers and push his tip into you making you moan loudly against his skin.

Oh it was almost as though you couldn’t stop, your head pounding as you felt his veins pumping and heart beating, a soft gasp making you pull away, cursing. Was it too much? Did you take too much from him?

“Why did you stop?” He whispered, staring up at you with hazy eyes. “I liked it. I-I loved it. It felt like lightning-”

“Stiles.”

“L-Like lightning was traveling down my spine and filling my veins-”

“Stiles.”

He paused, staring up at you as you looked down at your skin, smiling when you saw the initials MS surrounded by the faded gray bite mark. “Mieczysław. Fuck, I love that name, I love your name.”

“I love you,” he whispers back, smiling as you giggled down at him, his face pressing against your skin before kissing his initials. “I love you so much.”

You smile as he slowly pushes you onto your back, his eyes a dark chocolate brown as he pulls out just for a minute, pulling off his pants after kicking off his shoes and tugging down your shorts and pretty panties. Your eyes rolled back as he flattened his tongue against your wet slit, flicking his tongue against your puffed up clit before sitting back on his feet and pumping his cock. You could see his cock covered in cum, inhaling deeply as you looked over at his discarded boxers, a splatter of cum making you giggle.

“I made you cum in your pants, Mieczysław?”

He groaned as he pushed back into you, staring at the creamy ring he started to leave around your entrance that kept sucking him farther and farther into you. He groaned, his mind fully attentive to your cunt basically swallowing his length, whimpers and squirming finally starting when he left the last few inches. His eyes flickered up to your face, a groan falling from his lips as he saw his initials on your skin, your face pinched in pleasure and eyes rolling back as he thrusted into you sharply to watch that creamy ring settle on his base and your hands flying to his forearms.

“Fuck, fuck Stiles!”

He shook his head, holding your hips with a grunt. “No baby, call me by my real name,” he said, cursing softly as he started to thrust his hips, watching your body bounce with each thrust, your tits moving and his eyes trained on the mark he made. You were right, he was so fucking addicted to the feeling of you around his cock, more lightning traveling up his spine as your nails dug into his forearm, blood making your eyes flash red. “You always say it so fucking nice.”

He watched you groan loudly, moving so his chest pressed against yours and moving his arms to support him. He watched your mouth move to his forearms, your tongue flattening against his skin and licking up all of the blood, his mouth moving to your head to press kisses against your hair, groans falling from his mouth with each thrust before you moved to stare up at him, pulling him down to kiss him, that same coppery tang disappearing and fading into the same whiskey flavor you had been addicted to.

“Mieczysław,” you whispered, gasping as his thrusts got faster, whining as his hand pushed down to circle against your clit torturously before his other hand gripped your thigh, digging his nails so deep into your skin he drew blood. “F-Fuck!”

He groaned as he pushed his fingertips against your skin, covering them with that crimson liquid before pushing them into his mouth and slamming into you one last time to cum inside of you, the gushing of his cum making you cum from the almost inflation like feeling. It didn’t take you long to push him over, though, staring at his already healed forearm. You smiled as you began to roll your hips, desperate as his tip kissed your cervix, pushing deeper and deeper at this new angle as you moaned loudly, holding his chest and staring down at the mark with your own initials on his skin.

It fueled your movements, staring down at the cum smearing along his pelvis, whimpering as you bounced on his length. “Please, please, fuck!”

“You need my help, don’t you?” He teased, lifting his hips to roll into you at the same time you pushed down, your eyes rolling back as he pushed even deeper inside of you - something you truly didn’t think could happen. “Right?”

“Yes! Yes, yes!” You pleaded, gasping as he forced his hips up into you, thrusting over and over again at the same speed you were bouncing on his cock with even more force than you could ever imagine. You were so lost in pleasure, his warm hands holding your hips as you tried to stay sitting up, your body finally registering the fresh human blood in your veins. It had been a while since you had anything other than bagged blood or animal blood, and as a result, your high was gone and inevitably coming down until he slammed his hips up into you, your eyes rolling back as the knot in your stomach snapped and a loud moan of his name - his real name - left your mouth.

He groaned underneath you, his cum gushing out of your cunt as you slowly got off, staring at his still hard cock. You giggle, smiling as you pumped his cock and licked the cum sliding down his shaft, groaning as he bucked his hips up into your mouth. You kept it in your mouth, moaning loudly as you bobbed your head, pumping what you couldn’t fit in your mouth and staring at his face.

You didn’t register his human features, not anymore, his blood pumping and his lungs filling with air or exhaling air, only the fact that the cum on his cock tasted so fucking delicious and your fingers cupping and squeezing his balls which made his hips buck and you pull back to feel his cum flood your mouth. You groaned, sucking on his pretty tip and your hand fisting his cock, swallowing the salty liquid before pulling away.

Your mind was full of lust as you slowly crawled up his body, his hands immediately catching your hips as you hovered over his face. His eyes were hazy with lust as you grinned down at him. "You're such a good boy, honey. I think you deserve a treat."

He groaned loudly as you slowly released your weight, holding the sides of his head as his hands hold your thighs, your hips rolling into his mouth as his tongue pushed into your cunt, basically pulling all of the cum from your pussy, your eyes rolling back as one of his hands pushed between your thighs and straight into your cunt.

His flexing fingers guided the rolls of your hips, moans falling from your lips as you attempted to cover your mouth before a finger pressed to your clit and his teeth grazed your pussy. You whined loudly, your stomach twisting as you attempted to chase that high, his fingers pushing into you to press against that place that made your stomach go tight and your eyes roll back, curses falling from your lips. “Fuck, fuck, fuck Mieczysław!”

He hummed against your cunt, the vibrations making you shiver as he slowly lifted you from his face and push you down so you sat on his cock. He slowly pushed into you, a shiver going down your back as he held your face, pulling you up for a firm kiss. “I love you.”

“I love you, Mieczysław,” you whisper back, smiling as his lips quirked up into a smile of his own, sighing heavily. “Do you feel okay?”

“Yeah, I feel great,” he smiled, shrugging. “Really horny.”

You laughed, nodding. “We can keep going,” you whisper, smiling as you lay against his warm chest. “Just… let me lay here in your warmth for a minute.”

“Will you miss it?” He whispers, stroking your cheek as he stares down at you. “M-My warmth.”

You inhale deeply, nodding as your hand rubbed against his chest where his heart was, the beating already slowing down. “Yeah, I will,” you shrug though, giggling. “But we’re the first of our kind, my love. I’m hoping you’ll keep it.”

“Then I do too.”

omg, I love fulfilling requests ♡ keep them coming for Bingo!!

Bingo tag 𓆩[@ennycutie]𓆪   𓆩[@yoongiwife23]𓆪 𓆩[@urlocalbum12-blog]𓆪

Regular taglist: 𓆩[@lem0ns77]𓆪   𓆩[@cecepop15]𓆪   𓆩[@memeorydotcom]𓆪   𓆩[@your-favorite-god]𓆪   𓆩[@xyzstar]𓆪  𓆩[@just-my-shit]𓆪   𓆩[@your-mom21]𓆪   𓆩[@c78r]𓆪   𓆩[@dizscreams]𓆪   𓆩[@asrt5]𓆪   𓆩[@xoxomoonlightbabe]𓆪

© asterias-record-shop

[cosmerelists]

The Other Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse But Make It Cosmere

As requested by @round-hatches-are-terrifying. :)

In the Good Omens novel, the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse (War, Famine, Pollution, and Death), who are bikers, are followed by four other biker dudes who chose their own names to be, uh, equally ominous:

Grievous Bodily Harm, Cruelty to Animals, Really Cool People, and Treading In Dogshit (formerly All Foreigners Especially The French, formerly Things Not Working Properly Even After You’ve Given Them A Good Thumping, never actually No Alcohol Lager, briefly Embarrassing Personal Problems, and finally People Covered in Fish)

So let's say we had other Horsemen on various Cosmere planets. What would they be named?

1. Roshar (Stormlight Archive)

The Main Horsemen: War, Famine, Desolation, and Death

The Other Horsemen: Man-Eating Giant Crabs, Running Out Of Stormlight Right In The Middle of the Weeping, Ill-Conceived Boons, and Reified Gender Norms (formerly Men Reading, formerly Predicting the Future But Not Like Storm Wardens Do Because That's Just Math Basically, briefly just Predicting the Future)

2. Scadrial (Era 1) (Mistborn)

The Main Horsemen: Famine, Pestilence, Ash, and Death

The Other Horsemen: Child Abuse, Dangerous Piercings, Trying to Keep Literally Anything Clean, and Getting Hit in The Head With A Coin Like Every Night Because of Those Blasted Mistborn Flying About Everywhere

3. Scadrial (Era 2) (Mistborn)

The Main Horsemen: War, Famine, Pestilence, and Death

The Other Horsemen: Social Unrest, Rich Bastards, ACAB, and Getting Hit in The Head With A Coin Like Every Night Because of Those Blasted Coinshots Flying About Everywhere

4. Nalthis (Warbreaker)

The Main Horsemen: War, Famine, Death, and Second Death

The Other Horsemen: Undead Squirrel Attacks, Being Out of Breath, The Haunting Realization that the Gods Who Live Among Us Are Actually Pretty Daft, and All Foreigners But Especially the Idrians

5. Threnody (Shadows for Silence)

The Main Horsemen: Fire, Blood, Running, and Death

The Other Horsemen: Fortfolk-Acting-Too-Big-For-Their-Britches, Withering-That-Does-Not-Kill-You-But-Does-Make-Life-Just-That-Much-Harder-Forever, Ghost-Grandmother, and Adonalsium-May-Remember-Our-Plight-Eventually-But-For-Now-It-Is-Pretty-Bleak-Out-Here-Guys

6. Komashi (Yumi and the Nightmare Painter)

The Main Horsemen: Nightmares, Famine, Pestilence, and Death

The Other Horsemen: Artist's Block, Being Straight on a Planet Where Even the Lighting is Bisexual, AI Art, and A Stiff Breeze Coming At Exactly The Wrong Time Noooo My Rock Stacks

7. First of the Sun (Sixth of Dusk)

The Main Horsemen: Bad Death, Worst Death, Quick Death, and Slow Death

The Other Horsemen: Mainlanders, Mainlander Capitalism, Kids These Days, and Suspicious Invaders (?) From Outer Space

8. Sel (Elantris)

The Main Horsemen: War, Famine, the Shaod, and Death

The Other Horsemen: Aggressive Proselytizers, Stubbing your Toe, People Who Do Not Accept The Word of Shu-Dereth And So Seal For Themselves Their Own Inevitable Doom, and I'm With The First Guy Who Said Proselytizers (formerly People Covered in Slime)

[son1c]

i know it's been said a million times before but i don't understand people who rebuke all criticism of the sonic movie with "well, it's for kids!" because kids deserve good media too. they deserve full, rich stories with well developed characters and worlds. they deserve to be treated with respect. movie studios who prioritizes big budget actors over literally everything else don't care about their target audience. and i don't think we, the adults whose voices can actually be HEARD by those studios, should just lie down and take it. "it's for kids" so are certain types of food. but if that food wasn't made well, that'd be a big problem, wouldn't it? the stuff kids watch matters, just like what they eat matters, because it feeds their brain. do we want our kids eating pro-cop slop wrapped up in bright colors with no main female characters in sight? really? personally, i don't want them to.

[chaosclimber]

shop assistant

Emily kept the smile firmly fixed in place as she watched the man in front of her vacillate. Engagement rings were always a long sales pitch, but at least this one seemed to know his partner’s taste. She only wished he would take her concerns about budget seriously–but then, that was fairly standard for the men she’d helped thus far. As if feeling her patient stare, the tall, pale goth glanced up from the displays and at her. 

God, his eyes were gorgeous. Whoever he was shopping for was a lucky girl. 

“You need not hover over me. I will be some time making this decision–it has to be exactly right.” 

Wow. Someone certainly talked like a period drama. Emily dialed her Customer Service Smile up another notch. “Alright, well, I won’t be far if you need me. Please, don’t hesitate to ask.” With that, she gracefully departed for the main sales counter, where Eric was wrapping up a sale with a perky blonde.

“Hey, Em, is your guy who I think he is?”

Emily rolled her eyes. Eric was constantly thinking people here were celebrities. It never actually panned out to be true, but it didn’t stop him from speculating. She honestly couldn't care less, though. As far as she was concerned, celebrities were just people. There was no need to make a fuss over them–and she wouldn’t, even if this turned out to be whoever Eric was thinking of. “Probably not, but tell me who you think it is anyway. I know it’ll eat at you if you don’t say it.”

“I think that’s one of the Aeturnus family. They’re like...Vanderbilt rich. Old money. Hell, I think if you go far enough back, they’ve got some royal blood from some European country or other…”

“Well, that would explain why he just waved me off when I asked about the budget.” She shrugged. She wasn’t sure she believed it, but there was something just a little off about Tall, Pale, and Gorgeous. And there always seemed to be something with that level of wealth. She would count herself lucky he still treated sales people with respect. She shrugged it off, gossipping with Eric about the tech store across the street–rumor had it the owner was trying to romance one of their employees and not being particularly subtle about it. The employee was into it, but literally everyone else around them was not. 

It was a half-hour later that the man approached her. “There is one which will do nicely with a bit of customization.” He must have seen her open her mouth to talk about the budget once more, because he held up a hand. “Money is no object, I promise.”

“Alright. Let’s see what we can do.” They walked back to the display case, and he pointed out one of the thicker wedding bands marketed towards men. The one he chose was lovely, with a deep red wood polished to a shine. The outside was rose gold–and that, it seemed, was the problem.

“The rose gold does not quite suit my partner’s taste. Perhaps white gold could be arranged.” It was a statement, not a question. 

“Of course. Are there any other alterations you’d like to make?”

“I…” The hesitation seemed…out of character. Whatever the request was, it was clearly the emotional heart of the matter. Emily silently vowed to see it through, no matter what. “...I would like  an engraving on the inside.”

“Of what?”

“I’ve written it out.” He pulled a folded paper out of his pocket. On it was a delicate script, in Latin. Amor Aeturnus Est. Love is eternal. 

“Would you prefer a regular cursive script, or shall we replicate your handwriting?”

There was a blink, the only outward sign of his surprise. “You can do that?”

“Oh, yes.”

“Then, by all means, please.”

“Very well, Mr…” She prompted. Was she fishing for Eric’s sake? Maybe. But she would never hear the end of it if she didn’t at least ask the name. He smiled–only barely, but that was a contrast to his previously neutral expression. “Aeturnus…for now. We shall be hyphenating.”

The rest of the transaction ran smoothly. As soon as Mr. Aeturnus left, Eric all but bounced over to Emily’s station. “How did it go? What is he like?”

Emily rolled her eyes. “He’s normal, Eric. He’s just a guy, buying a ring for his partner.” Even as she spoke, there was a soft smile on her face. She hoped that Mr. Aeturnus’s partner liked the ring–there was a lot of heart that went into choosing it.

As if reading her thoughts, Eric kept on badgering her. “Was it a good ring? Please tell me he picked a good ring, I can’t stand it when rich people have no taste…”

“It will be once his customization is done.”

“Awesome~”

@domaystic All the prompt fills are cross posted to AO3

[oh-my-bindery]

Drarry: I love that Harry the hero is down for murder. But Draco the guy who comes from a long line of a family of dark magic is the one that hates murder (it's literally canon Draco can not kill anyone for shit) and it gives me so many feels. It's partly because I love healer Draco. But also because Harry is reckless and does not have a lot of self preservation. His idea of justice is like you die by the sword.

Definitely! I draw all my conclusions from canon.

Buckle up bc I went on a rant here

The way Draco is written and what we are shown of his actions and character, we can clearly conclude at least few things:

- Draco is a person who fights with his words, that cut deeper than a knife. He knows what he is doing and wants it to hurt. I believe he does it to feel better about himself.

- Draco can’t kill. He literally can’t kill. Even his wand (that chose him) is one that has the most difficult time turining into Dark Arts. It reflects on his character. He is different from his family.

- Draco is a very sensitive boy as we are told by Moaning Myrtle in HBP. We also get to see him break down and for the first time show his real emotions which is a new thing from him. Harry has never seen him cry. Which leads me to ask, why? All 6 years and no one saw Draco cry before? No one saw him express deeper emotions that his usual proud and snarky / bully mask? It is definitely connected to his family, most likely Lucius, as Narcissa is the one who even though believes in blood purity shit, never takes a Dark Mark, never fights for Voldemort, her main concern is always Draco. She has so much love for him. It is probably why Draco even knows that he can allow himself to cry, even if it’s on his own.

- Moaning Myrtle also tells us that Draco is lonely.

- On Harry Potter wiki and Pottermore (I think) it says that Draco was never able to produce a Patronus spell as he didn’t have a strong enough of a happy memory - well that’s sad seeing as Harry was able to do it with how shit his life was.

Draco is supposed to seemingly be rich, get everything he wants, he has a family that is alive , Mother who loves him SO MUCH, father that would she if anything happened to him (well he failed to protect Draco from the worst and then did nothing after the fact, continued being awful but that’s another rant), Slytherins seem to like him, he has some friends although I’m not even sure he likes them or if they like him (from canon we know that by Deathly Hallows - Crabbe and Goyle hate him. Draco never really liked Blaise (or wasn’t fond of him. He tolerated Pansy and had some trust towards her.)

So even though Draco smilingly has all, he doesn’t have a strong enough of a happy memory.

- Draco is terrified of killing someone, so much so he stops eating, keeps to himself and stops being himself when tasked with killing Dumbledore.

When Harry sees Draco in his Voldy visions - Draco looks terrified and broken when asked to torture Rowle - the sight of how Draco is being pushed into doing those horrible things and how much he could be suffering- canonically makes Harry try to get rid of the visions because he doesn’t want to see Draco torture people or if he refuses/ can’t- see Draco being tortured or killed.

- Draco doesn’t care if he dies. Why? Who knows? But he literally lies to his whole family that are depending on him to identify Harry as Harry Potter at the manor and he just doesn’t. He knows what are the consequences of failing to capture Harry are (probably being killed by Voldemort, him and his family.) and Draco knows it is Harry. If he was cruel and and awful person he would say “yep, that’s Potter” but instead Harry notices that Draco looks just as terrified, hands shaky as Harry was. Draco literally would rather have Harry survive and himself die than other way around. It is SO CANON.

And Harry wise

- Harry is super hot-headed as we know.

I think looking at his reaction when Sirius was killed, he literally sprung from Remus’s arms, shooting, shooting curses after Bellateix. He crucioed her. No, thinking, he just does.

When people whom Harry loves / cares about are killed or harmed Harry has no thoughts just do. Give them hell. He will deal with consequences later - he is bad at the ‘dealing with the consequences bit though. He doesn’t want to be a killer, and hates himself for being capable of it.

When Snape kills Dumbledore, Harry is in SO MUCH RAGE. He goes after Snape and literally uses Sectumsempra on him, knowing what it would do- if not helped Snape literally would die lol.

But when it comes to Draco and Harry almost killing him, knowing about Dracos Dark Mark, him being suspicious all year, being horrible to him all other years - ABSOLUTELY NOT ACCEPTABLE.

He leaves Draco alone even after he find out Draco was going to kill Dumbledore.

In conclusion, Harry would 100% kill for Draco, no questioning it. He wouldn’t feel bad about the person being killed but about the fact that he is capable to killing.

[shivamtripathisstuff]

'' Being healthy is a mental process ''

2yrs back I was going through various health issues like getting fever on an average every month, typhoid, backbone problems, headaches, obesity etc.

My family was troubled by my health conditions, running from doctor to doctor, doing this test that test! , paying expensive bills, the main reason for my health issues what people around me (my family and friends ) think was fast food which I love so much It is true! I ate fast food, even after recovering from my fever but the main reason is something else and the most interesting part of my journey of being a healthy person which I will tell you in the last, this process continues till April 20, 2023, 11 am when I got heatstroke and my heart rates go up 190rbpm it's very dangerous, suddenly I wake up from my bed felt my body is getting lighter and lighter and my heart was like pumping machine with its full speed my family and mother was crying because I was acting abnormally and crying I was like ab toh mar jaunga saw my whole life in just one sec! my maternal uncle immediately take me to the hospital even a doctor was shocked! when he heard that I had 190rbpm he said thanks to god he is alive right now, I was admitted there for 2 days they said that my immunity system got very weak which is why I was facing these serious health issues.

After I reached home had complete bed rest for 2 to 3 days at that time I was a cat aspirant preparing for the MBA cat exam, so I could not take many days to rest, after this level of serious health problem I again started my same schedule of eating fast food and just after 2 months I again got high fever 104degree Celsius my body was burning and continuously I was getting taunt and scolding from my family of eating fast food that day what we call D-Day of my healthy life begun I was at the local doctor clinic, the doctor said that your immune system has got very weak its a case of do or die situation he said if you continuously eat fast food without any physical workout then it will tough for you to get alive, do some at least small workout like PT steps this line literally I am saying to you it goes in my subconscious mind and from that movement I had one mindset and believe is that ''if will not do exercise then I will suffer from fever''

So basically what you can observe from above believe is that I cleared my ''WHY '' which is the title of this post-MENTAL PROCESS and which you read and listen to in many great books like THINK AND GROW RICH, POWER OF SUBCONSCIOUS MIND ETC.

Now it's been 1yr since I have had no health issues in fact my health has improved, got muscles, improved my immune system.

Now even though I can eat as much fast food as I had in my previous days I will not suffer from any health issues because;

I got my WHY (that exercise nhi karunga toh bimar padh jaunga).

And I will show you proof of clearing your WHY and mindset strength

by image.

Hope this will encourage you to have good health as the saying goes health is the biggest success.

THANKYOU.

[hannahbarberra162]

Not My Monkey, Chapter 2

on Ao3

Link to Chapter 1

Dining with the Strawhats is just as you would expect.

The song the Reader hums and sings with Sanji is this ad: https://youtu.be/FbQt8pYUY6Q?si=qtAVuaC_wUggmSQd

~~~

You tore your gaze from Blue Maui to glance at the rest of the crew. Luffy was sitting and pounding his fists on the table, chanting for meat. Robin was sitting next to the android and chatting, with her hand on his oversized forearm. The green swordsman was slouching with his arms crossed next to a tiny…deer. Who was talking to a giant skeleton with an afro. Alright. Nami sat next to you and Usopp, with Sanji coming from the kitchen with a serving platter. A strange group of people, but hey, you were dead so it’s not like you could talk. 

Sanji served you first, even before the Captain, which surprised you. “A vegetarian meal for our dearest Reader,” Sanji said. He looked anxious and he was hovering over you. He clearly wanted you to try the food in front of him and give him a review. He gave you glazed carrots, a spring style salad, and a bean and mushroom stew served over rice. 

He didn’t need to be nervous, it all looked incredible. You weren’t the main cook in your previous relationship, that had been mostly done by your partner. You were satisfied eating the same boring things over and over daily, which you’d done for the past few years. You picked up your fork and sampled the glazed carrots. It was unbelievable, the carrots practically melting on your tongue. Your taste buds were singing, you didn’t think carrots could be so rich. You sampled each item he’d prepared while he flitted back and forth, serving the rest of the crew, starting with the women. 

“Sanji, this is outstanding! I’ve never eaten anything like this before, you’re such a talented chef.” The carrots, the stew, the salad, everything tasted like it had been made by a French chef. Sanji beamed at you.

“I apologize, we are running low on supplies right now. At the next island, I’ll buy more vegetables. Most of the crew prefers a more meat heavy diet.” This was him running low on supplies? You couldn’t wait to see what he whipped up with a fully stocked kitchen.

“MEAT! MEAT! MEAT! MEAT!…” Luffy continued to chant over Sanji speaking to you.

“LUFFY, SHUT UP! I’m speaking to our lovely Reader,” Sanji sighed and went to fetch food for Luffy. Once the food was placed in front of him, Luffy was like a vacuum. You made a mental note to keep your hands and feet away from his mouth during meal time. He reminded you of that game, Kirby, where the little pink guy would literally inhale food. Or a dog with food aggression. Luffy was using both hands, double fisting the meat and eating as rapidly as humanly possible. 

“Would you like to introduce our new Reader, Luffy?” Robin asked politely.

“Oh yeah, this is Misty,” Luffy said while chewing, gesturing to you with one meat skewer. It took everything in you not to chide him for speaking with his mouth full. Who raised this kid? 

“Actually, her name is also Robin, but we are calling her Misty to avoid confusion,” Robin clarified. “She is our new Reader, but she does not know any information about our world, including who we are. It's a fresh start for all of us, so let’s go around and introduce ourselves. Appropriately. ” Robin gave a look to the android and skeleton, emphasizing the last word.

“She’s obviously lying,” interjected the green haired swordsman.

“No, I’m not, I really -” you started to argue with him but were interrupted by Sanji, who already had his foot on the swordsman's shoulder. 

“How dare you accuse our newest, sweetest Mellorine of lying?!” He was in the green guy’s face on your behalf, it looked like they might fight again. 

“Thank you, Sanji, but I understand his hesitation. But I promise, I really don’t know anything about this world. I haven’t even been to the sea before. I guess that’s one thing off my bucket list.” Well, you’d already kicked the bucket so you weren’t sure that it counted. 

“Whaddya mean? Never been to the sea?” asked Luffy, still chewing with his mouth open. You shrugged.

“I mean, I’ve been in lakes and rivers and pools and things like that. I always wanted to visit the ocean before I died. Where I lived, the ocean was really far away. It was always a little too expensive to go so I never did.” It made you sad to think you'd spend nearly your whole life working and for what? You didn't get to the Pacific, you didn't travel to Fiji, you didn't get to do a lot of things you'd wanted before you apparently died.

“We’ve heard about their world before, others have shared similar sentiments. To Zoro’s point, I do not believe she is lying. I’ve been monitoring her interactions and she does not seem to know any prior information.” Robin had been watching you? You hadn’t seen her following you around. But at least she was corroborating that you weren’t lying. So the green haired guy was Zoro. He still hadn’t introduced himself.

“I’m Franky, the shipwright. It’s SUUUUUPER nice to meet you.” He had exquisite blue hair shaped like a sailing ship. Maybe wild hair colors were natural in this world. You hoped so, you absolutely loved it.

“I like your hairstyle,” you complimented. 

“Thanks, sis,” Franky responded, making a finger gun and running his hand along the side of his hair. It was clearly a source of pride for him, as was only right for such a good style. Next, the skeleton put down his cup of tea.

“I’m Brook, the Soul King. I'm the musician on the crew and I’d love to see -” Nami bonked him over the head before he could finish his sentence. Hard.

“Don’t you dare! Robin just asked everyone to behave!” She was quick, that was for sure. And based on his reaction, fairly strong.

“-your panties,” he finished despite the bonk. 

“No. Don’t ask again,” you replied. Ew. But also he was a nine foot tall skeleton, so his sense of decorum might have been off. He had kind of a Hendrix / Slash vibe going on, complete with afro. You really should commend whoever made this world, the hair here was fantastic.

The little deer put down his milk and said in a serious tone, “I’m Chopper, the ship’s doctor.” It would have been more impressive if he didn’t have a milk mustache when he told you this. Talking skeleton, talking deer, rubber people, dead people, this ship was like a haunted house mixed with Disneyland. At least your life was ending with a bang. “I can help you if you have a headache from the timespace travel, it’s happened to a few of our readers.” 

After thanking Chopper, the last of the group, Blue Maui, introduced himself as well. “I am Jinbe, the ship’s helmsman. It is a pleasure to meet you,” he said, giving you a bow. Your heart and face warmed. You knew it didn’t mean anything - it was basically the same introduction everyone else had given you as well. But coming from someone as good looking as Jinbe, you couldn’t help it. What, were you 12 again?

“Pleased to meet you as well,” you replied smiling. Luffy interrupted your very brief conversation with his mouth full.

“So if you’re shipwrecked on an island, and there were only animals there,” Luffy began as you inwardly groaned, already knowing where this was going, “would you eat one to survive?”

You laughed. “You know what’s funny? I die and come to this world only to be asked the same questions as the last one. I would. But it’s not something I worry about.”

“So who’s your favorite?” Luffy continued, beaming at you.

You weren’t sure exactly what he was asking. “My favorite what?”

“Your favorite Strawhat!” Luffy smiled, but you saw Sanji and Usopp tense slightly.

“Luffy, she doesn’t know us. She doesn't have a favorite like our previous readers,” Robin interrupted her Captain. “I do not know if she is even aware we are the Strawhat Pirates.”

Luffy shoved more meat into his mouth before replying, “oh, right. Well, we’re the Strawhats. Cus of my hat. And your favorites probably gonna be me. Or Zoro. Or Nami. That’s who everyone says.” Luffy grinned widely. You didn’t reply but it seemed kind of rude to pick favorites in front of the other crew members. 

“You’re not always everyone’s favorite!” interjected Usopp, the conversation hitting a nerve.

“I am! It’s my show! I’m the antagonist-” Luffy yelled back.

“Protagonist,” corrected Robin, now sipping on some tea.

“This isn’t a show, it's just life!” continued Usopp. “You’re not the main character, that’s not how it works.” Luffy pouted but kept eating.

“Let’s get a round going for the new reader!” exclaimed Nami, trying to change the subject. 

“Brilliant idea Nami-swan! Dearest Misty, what would you prefer to drink? We have some sake, wine, and ale. You are our guest, you choose first. ” Sanji came to your side immediately, like a waiter on demand.

“Oh, I don’t drink,” you replied, “but it doesn’t bother me if anyone else does.” Zoro (who still hadn’t introduced himself) snorted.

“What kinda life is that? No meat, no booze. What’s the fuckin’ point?” he scoffed. 

You laughed lightly. “I would have said the same when I was 20. Just not my style anymore.” 

“So go get the booze shitcook, she said we can drink,” Zoro turned to Sanji, already ignoring you. You could see Sanji puffing up for a fight already.

“If she’s not drinking, you’re not drinking either, you stupid mossbrain! You don’t get shit anyway for insulting her!” They were already in each other’s faces. No one else had paused their side conversations to listen or watch. You wondered how many times a day this happened. Zoro and Sanji went back and forth, though you noticed Zoro didn’t stop eating his food and Sanji didn’t put down his tray. Everyone else had returned to their side conversations, ignoring the two men completely. The crew seemed cohesive, like everyone was on good terms with each other. Even Zoro and Sanji's fighting wasn't disturbing the overall vibe of the dinner. It was loud, animated, chaotic, and reminded you of Sunday night dinners with your own family. You enjoyed it for a few minutes, eating your meal and watching the dynamics of the crew. 

Everyone was wrapping up their meals and finishing their food. Usopp and Nami got up to leave, but left their dirty plates on the table. “ Excuse me, take your plates to the sink. No one’s coming behind to pick up after you,” you snapped at them. The room went silent as they stared at you. Oops. Having several bad roommates and coworkers over many years had left a few ingrained habits. “Uh, sorry, didn’t mean that. Just tell me where I can put my plate.”

“Leave it on the table, Twirlybrow cleans up,” replied Zoro.

“Why? Didn’t he cook the food?” you asked, confused. It was basically a sin where you grew up to leave your plate on the table, much less for the cook. Didn’t they rotate the cleaning?

“So? He likes it,” Zoro was being petulant, probably because of whatever he had going on with the cook. 

“Again, sorry, I didn't mean to overstep. It’s just that where I’m from, if you cook, you don’t clean. That’s always how it is. But, not my circus,” you said, putting your hands up in apology. You didn’t mean to offend, but the man had just cooked a multi course meal for eleven, plated and served it. Surely he didn’t have to clean up everything by himself too. It felt unfair, but it wasn’t your place to change the way things were.

“Whassat mean? Not my circus?” Luffy asked, finally full of food. His belly was stretched comically large, seemed like being made of rubber had its benefits.

“Oh, it’s a common saying. ‘Not my circus, not my monkeys.’ Meaning, it isn’t my place to say anything. You know like, not my problem, not my business.” Luffy smiled at you.

“I am your monkey! Monkey D. Luffy! Thanks Sanji!” With that, Luffy got up and took his plate, putting it into the sink. Usopp and Nami did the same, bringing their plates with them after watching their Captain. One by one, the crew thanked Sanji and brought their plates to the sink until it was just you and Sanji left. You still had a lot of food on your plate and you weren’t done eating yet. 

“Sorry, I’ve always been a slow eater, especially when I’m in a group or talking with other people. I can finish this later.” You felt bad stopping him from beginning on the overwhelming amount of dishes he was going to have to do. 

“No, no. Please. Enjoy at your leisure mon cherie. It’s nice to see someone who doesn’t just shove everything down their throat.” Sanji was a little off, he wasn’t saying anything cringy or chivalrous in your honor, just clearing off the table.

“Sorry that I butted in. I didn’t mean to disrupt the way things are here,” you offered. 

“No, I - I appreciate the sentiment.” Sanji said, back turned to you.

“I can help you clear the table if you wish, or wash some dishes. I can’t fight and don’t have super-powers like everyone else but I definitely know my way around dish soap,” you tried for a light hearted approach. “My mom really drilled into us that whoever cooks doesn’t clean. It’s hard for me to watch you and not help, especially after you just cooked such an incredible meal.” Sanji smiled at you, but it didn’t reach his eyes. 

“It is no burden on me, mon coeur. Please, eat. You are a guest on the ship, and a lady besides.” You dropped it as the chef began cleaning again, clearing the table of serving platters and pitchers, bringing them to be washed. You watched him as you ate, asking him about the preparation of the dishes you were eating. Once you got him talking about food, he dropped a lot of the chivalrous talk and spoke passionately about his love of food and drink. He was calm and patient, answering all your questions. It was obvious he excelled in his field, both from your empty plate and the amount of knowledge he had. Once you were done, you stacked your silverware, cup and plate and brought them to the sink. Sanji was elbow deep in dishes, and he would be for a while. 

“C’mon, let me help you. This is gonna take you hours to do alone.” 

“Ladies shouldn’t have to life a finger -” Sanji began.

You cut him off. “I don’t have to, I want to. It would…make me happy?” You ended the sentence on a higher register. You figured that if he was really a chivalrous guy, he would take your wants and desires into consideration. 

Sanji blinked up at you with his one visible eye, surprise registering before it was hidden. “It would make you happy? But you only have precious little time left, you want to spend it washing dishes?” What was this guy’s deal? Did no one ever help him before? You’d never fought so hard to wash dishes in your life.

“Well, I want to spend every day eating more of your scrumptious food. Which means that the utensils, pots, pans, bowls, everything has to be washed and cleaned, right? Kind of goes hand in hand.” 

“Alright, just this once mon mie. If it would make you happy.”

“It would,” you replied firmly. With that, he moved over, giving you some space at the sink. You’d had a dishwasher at your house for years, but growing up everything was washed by hand. You had countless hours of experience doing the dishes, and there weren’t any differences between your world and this one on how to scrub a dirty fork. You and the chef fell into an amicable silence, working side by side.

Something you hadn’t anticipated was that there was no background noise on the ship. Sure, there were the sounds of the waves, of some sea birds, of the crew on board. But for the past few years you’d gotten used to always having something on to provide white noise - the television or YouTube mostly. You were used to passively listening to music or long form videos while you cooked, cleaned, did laundry, any basic repetitive task. So standing quietly next to the cook made your mind wander to music. 

Obviously, you didn’t have access to your music from home. You tried to think of songs to sing in your head to keep yourself busy. But, as it turned out, you didn’t know the complete lyrics to all that many songs, even though you listened to music constantly. You could remember bits and pieces, or remember the tune, but there weren’t that many songs you could sing from beginning to end. It seemed like the only songs you could remember the lyrics to were either Top 40s hit ending in 2012, songs from your childhood, or songs from the Disney movies your nieces liked. You were deep in your mind, trying to conjure up some songs to sing to, when the cook asked you what you were humming.

“Beg your pardon?” you hadn’t realized you were humming out loud.

“Oh, I was just wondering what song you were humming. I haven’t heard that one before. It’s always entertaining to learn new songs from Readers.”

“Ah. Sorry. Um, it’s nothing, just a commercial jingle, I’m sorry. I’ll stop,” you turned a little red. 

“No, no. I liked it a lot. Does it have lyrics?”

And so you taught Sanji the words to 877-CASHNOW. By the time the two of you were finishing the dishes, you were calling and responding to one another with gusto. It was quite fun, and you were glad the young chef was humoring you. When the last dish was dry, you patted him on the arm. 

“Thanks for indulging me, Sanji. You have quite a pleasant singing voice. We’ll do it again soon.” He didn’t know you’d be helping him a lot on dish duty. You’d tell him later, you had a feeling he was going to fight you on it. But you wanted to be useful, and it had actually been a fun way to pass the time. 

“The pleasure is all mine,  mon cherie. I’m done much earlier than I usually am, for which I have you to thank.” Sanji lit up a cigarette. You’d seen him smoking earlier, but not during dinner service. But you didn’t know any chefs who didn’t smoke, so you weren’t going to give him grief over it.

“Thank you for dinner, Sanji.” You patted his head like a little boy and left the galley. Outside the crew was relaxing and enjoying the cool evening air together.

“What’s a structured settlement?” Luffy yelled across the deck. You laughed.

“Oh, sorry. I didn’t know you could hear us. I’ll keep it down next time.” You hoped your singing wasn’t too off key.

“Why do you do that?” Luffy asked, walking towards you while picking his nose.

“Sing? I’ve always liked it. I’m not good by any means, but it’s fun -”

“No, apologize all the time. You’re always saying sorry but you don’t do anything you need to apologize for.” 

You fidgeted, rubbing the tips of your fingers together. “Oh, sorry, bad habit, I guess. I’ll try to stop.” Luffy flicked a booger onto the deck and sat down cross legged without washing his hands. Gross.

“You don’t need to be sorry for being here. We want you here.” Luffy said, his hands resting on his feet. For being a gross teenager, he was perceptive. You did worry a little about being a burden on the crew, even if it was only for a short while. You had always been a people pleaser, even when you were a child. It had gotten better for a little while in adulthood, but recently you’d fallen back into old habits. You didn’t like relying on other people without providing anything in exchange. Maybe that’s why you fought Sanji so hard on washing the dishes. It wasn’t like it was a chore you loved doing, it was something you knew you could do. You’d think about what Luffy said more.

“Thank you, Luffy. That’s kind of you to say.” You almost patted his head too, but you remembered the boogers. Maybe after he bathed. You noticed Nami had come up, waiting for you to finish your conversation with Luffy.

“Come on, I’ll give you a tour of the ship,” she said. “We can pop by the living quarters too, Robin’s set something up for you.” You agreed, following the orange haired woman. 

“So, the ship’s called the ‘Going Sunny,’ it’s like the ‘Going Merry’ and ‘1,000 Sunny’ mixed together. I don’t know how Franky did it, but he took the Merry and combined it with the Sunny and this is what we ended up with. A Reader once gave us a good drawing of the 1,000 Sunny and Franky used the best parts of both ships." You didn’t know what she was talking about but you nodded anyway. She took you around the ship, starting with the top deck and working your way down to the bottom. It was an incredible ship - there was a tangerine grove, the head of a ram on the keel, a huge fish tank, a spa level bathing area, even a library. You had never seen anything like it. Finishing with the crew quarters, Nami showed you where you would be sleeping. It was a small cot between her bed and Robin’s. Nothing fancy, but you hoped you wouldn’t need to use it too much. You only had three weeks left to live, and you wanted to make the most of it. 

[thenixkat]

It's still just wild to me that between

-> the setting (fantasy medieval-ish europe-y place where it's established that sometimes folks don't get to eat between lack of funds and bad harvests)

-> the worldbuilding (stuff like heavier adventurers likely being more skilled/too skinny means risking being unable to be revived)

-> and the themes (having a healthy relationship with food)

you would think that Dungeon Meshi would actually be kinda fat positive. But no. There's an undercurrent of fatphobia that runs through it that feels so jarring that once you notice it it's hard to stop seeing it.

And it's not just the two really blatant places that it happens in the manga, like characters deciding to insult the only fat noble/rich person in the setting on their weight (which never gets counterbalanced by any character like complimenting a fat character on their figure in the whole manga) or our main characters going 'oh no he might get fat' about the hero gaining what is effectively a disorder (that could very easily kill him due to accidental self inflicted injuries due to no longer being able to feel certain physical sensations) from the defeating the biggest bad in the setting.

But also the smaller stuff like the gag about Izutsumi being shocked to see the fat-looking succubi after it was drilled into her head that the things are mindbreakingly hot. (Hmmm)

Or how you see folks point at characters like Nemari, Dia, Senshi (and Leed) as examples of positive fat rep but like. If you actually pay attention to like the examples of fat dwarves in the extras or in a few minor characters, what they look like if they were turned into tallmen (more or less if they were built like real world humans), you'd notice that they aren't fat at all. They're just muscular and not dehydrated, much like how Laios isn't fat just built and not starved.

Or even looking at like Leed and Zon (named and important) compared to the unnamed background orcs after the artist changed their orc design by the second time orcs show up in the story. And you just notice how much thinner Leed and Zon are compared to every other orc in a scene.

(And of course, the extras that reveal that orcs and dwarves actually have a lot less body fat than it looks like they have b/c they are *literally just big-boned*. They are leaner than a irl human would be at their height and girth due to literally having thicker and broader skeletons.)

Or the whole thing where apparently fat elves just... don't exist. Not even fat civilian elves or fat adventurer elves. Like we know that there's fat half-foots even though none of the half-foot major characters are fat b/c being able to do their job in a dungeon means they have to be as light as they can to not set off traps. but we at least see some thicker half-foots. But elves? Apparently only come in noodle.

[slightlypoisonedtea]

Your daily little reminder that the main reason Sophie ever liked Fitz was because he brought her to the lost cities. Like, we've all agreed that his personality isn't the greatest and everyone is hot anyway. But I think she's justified in liking him. Not that I approve, but I don't blame her. Like, if some random super cute boy decided to pop out of nowhere (keep in mind that sophie doesn't have friends), explain that my weird, extremely annoying powers (I don't have powers but shh it's for the narrative) are normal and that he has them too, then bring me to the freaking lost cities, I would fall hard too.

I mean, picture it: the air is clean af, the water is clean af, the EVERYTHING is clean af, medicinal shots don't exist (and you (as Sophie) are really scared of those), VIOLENCE doesn't exist (at first glance), gemstones are more common than rocks, everything is sparkly (including the people -- which now includes you yay you're sparkly), extinct animals aren't extinct they're still here, mythical creatures are here too, but we don't eat meat because we eat plants that taste like meat (but better), desserts are literally bites of heaven, we literally only have jobs out of boredom, everyone is hot, everyone is rich (and oh by the way haha you're rich now too because you're one of us!), everyone is magical (not everyone has abilities, but skills are magic too), and everyone is immortal. INCLUDING YOU. BECAUSE FINALLY, YOU FIT IN. And also here are your new super hot parents who own a freaking magical animal zoo (kinda) and here is your 5 trillion dollars (that's the actual amount in canon btw) but it's okay if you run out they'll just give you more, ...oh almost forgot hi i'm Fitz, i'm basically elven royalty, let's be friends!

ok so that's not exactly what happens but it's basically what happens

I would too Sophie I would too. ALSO JUST CLARIFYING I AM A SOKEEFE, LITERALLY HAVE NEVER SHIPPED FITZPHIE/SOPHITZ DON'T KILL ME (even back in the days before we all sokeefed I was a dexphie. Fitz was an ick)

[lyriumheart]

i wasn't sure if ppl saying 'shane doesn't seem on board' and going to bat for him harder than ryan and steven was coming from a place of loving their white fav more but yeah i do think it is now.

like ppl have been babying both shane And ryan as if they aren't literally adults and capable of saying 'no' and shutting down a bad decision, but i rly have seen more people coming up to defend shane.

ik he's got a rep for being like 'eat the rich' but imo his 'share your account what are we gonna do?' comment to ME just came across as like. that's what he expects you to do, not that he gave a shit that people wouldn't be able to pay. he knew people wouldn't be able to pay and did noooooot care and just says 'share then lol'. as if that solves the issue at all or is the main reason why people wouldn't want to sub.

and his wife now guilt tripping on here just reinforces it bc there's no way that he and his wife don't share feelings on this. shane didn't care and ppl have a really weird parasocial lowkey white fav thing going on w him. he's no different from ryan and steven and maybe we shouldn't be babying him lol.

[marukyubi]

Octobie Week 2: Anarchy Just a little drabble for this week '3 Pairing- Hobie x OC this week 'D (Couldn't squeeze out more. Was planning a drawing for this week but a sudden burst of desire to write has consumed me full and quick.) Brief Background - So, my oc, and her universe is in a type of dystopian world where only the people who are born rich keep getting more and more rich and powerful while the people below will never stand a chance truly, being kept in such chaos so they will never remember, get stronger, to trouble any of the "ELITES BORNS". The elites are tight-knit too, but also have tight rules that they made even their own kinds follow strictly, and very rarely that one survive from the pack if they defined the rules. My oc, Angelina, is born an Elite descendent whose family is kinda a feared outcast. Their family defies rules and even advocates the people who are not elites to defy them as well. Also support and try to make the people's lives and the society better even if it's a little bit (The irony of them being able to resist the elites this strongly is because their family has a long line of private military and the control of weapon trading businesses, which made them an essential among them. But in Angel's father's hand, to simply put how the family business stopped, "You know what. I tried the peaceful path first but you guys killed my *adopted* brother. FUCK YOU AND YOUR MOTHERS. I'm burning you all if given a chance.)

If you see Wayne family refs I took, no you don't-

Also, Angel is a Spidersona who now uses the mantle of prowler more often. She still has her organic webs, and she still uses them to have swinging dates with Hobie- but she doesn't like being associated with spiders (especially Peters) after being killed and resurrected. (Her universe Peter is not really that great. He's one of many main factors that caused her death.) She mainly uses magic weapons like her pa :D

Warning - Vulger words, mentions of violence, mentions of cannibalism, mentions of blood, brief old men yaoi, Hobie might be a bit ooc 'cause I wrote in a rush of creativity(sorry '3), it's (almost) an indulgence oc content

EAT THE RICH It's an old saying that originated from the French Revolution and is used by many people who have taken the mentality of anarchism to this day. EAT. the "RICH". When Hobie said it in front of his lover, and her dad who is a great inventor with such generational wealth but even joined him in the chant, and their family who... support him fully despite their power hold and background? (It's a weird family, he knows it when he gets in head first, but they were kind enough...?) He didn't expect her to take it as literally... "You're telling me..." asks Hobie to Angelina slowly, to take in fully of what he's about to say. "That you killed a bunch of big politicians... and fed the meats to... who!?" "My babies!" Angelina answers with a beaming smile, looking all too prideful to drench her limbs in the blood of said people. "Crowley did not mean literal babies," her brother, Felix, chimes in while working on a project near the conversation, and so does her pa(other dad :D). "We don't accept cannibalism in this household," says her pa as he tries out a new magic spell he had just found from an old grimoire. "At least not with those degraded meats." "Then what babies?" Hobie can't help but ask. "My... babies!" She replies with an emphasized voice as if he will just suddenly get the enlightenment of what she truly means. But she did catch her own mistake quick and pointed at the big aquarium behind him that has a wide variety of colorful fishes. "And hey, I'm not a meanie." She proclaims herself with a huff and a proud grin that is a bit terrifying, considering the situation. "I ground the meat to the softest pulp form I can get and mixed it with their normal diet so they won't get sick from the "treat". I also fed to the strayed animals too, no worries." It rendered Hobie a bit speechless, to hear her say all of this like it's nothing special and/or horrifying process. He's almost used to his partner's uncanny and abnormal thought processes but to see her commit one? She can always surprise him in ways he has never thought possible... "... And the reasoning?" asks Hobie quietly with a sigh. He just can't... help it, like how he fell for this bumbling idiot. And one thing he knows for sure about his love is... she would never do things out of irrational or unjustifiable excuses, no matter how the execution is. She sort of means well, almost always. It's just the acts that weird out the people who weren't around this strange family enough. And she does give him the answer immediately, with a brightening, childish smile. "Those pigs tried to legalize underage marriage in their state for the child trafficking shit they're covering for." "...Blimey, tell me you gave all in to torture those bastards." "Hell yeah! Started with making my men slice their dicks and balls off into thin strands with a bloody dull knife while keeping 'em fully awake."

[accuratepicuresofanthropologists]

Franz Boas

Franz Boas was not the father of American anthropology. But the fact that so many people think he was shows how thoroughly his relentless energy transformed the discipline as we know it today.

Boas around age four

Boas was born in Germany in 1858. He grew up in the shadow of events that happened a decade earlier: The famous ‘Revolutions of 1848’, when people across Europe demanded an end to imperialism, monarchy, and the poverty caused by the Industrial Revolution. Boas grew up in a household of “forty eighters”, and became deeply committed to the ideals of liberty and progress which drove the revolutions. As a young man, Boas received a rigorous education and spent most of his free time outdoors, exploring the natural world. Like his idol Alexander von Humboldt, Boas combined a romantic wonder at nature's rich diversity with a naturalist's love of science, rigor, and classification.

Boas was Jewish, but not because he wanted to be. His parents were wealthy merchants for whom 'progress' meant shedding the ancient superstitions of the past. He didn't have a choice: Germany had given Jews the right to vote and own property, but remained an antisemitic place. Boas was labeled a Jew by others. So he learned to be fearless: In college when he was insulted he demanded a duel. He and his opponent would don goggles to protect their eyes, and then use their sabers to try to slash open each others’ face. “With the damn Jew baiters this winter one could not survive without quarreling and fighting.” He wrote his worried parents, reassuring them. “I remain unmolested since every student here knows that I would not be shy to defend my affairs with the sword.” He was not exaggerating. "He bears the mark of his German university training literally," the Maori anthropologist Te Rangi Hiroa noted, "in a somewhat disfiguring scar across his face". Indeed, one of the first things people noted about Boas were his scars.

Although he was academically gifted, Boas ended up doing a Ph.D. in the unprepossessing university of Kiel. His sister Toni was ill and the Boas family was tight-knit: He went to go live with her. The result was a miserable experience writing a Ph.D. on the color of seawater. His main discovery was that it was incredibly hard to measure the color of sea water. Later on, when he studied how perception is shaped by culture, these insights would come to help him. At the time, he was miserable.

Then love struck: Boas fell head over heels for Marie Krackowizer, a German-American lady whose family of “Forty Eighters” had fled to the US. She loved him too, but they could not be married until he got a job. For that, Boas needed to “habilitate”, a level of education above a Ph.D. He decided on a trip to the arctic, where he would study the influence of geography on Inuit people. He paid for it by writing an account of his travels for a German newspaper, and with a gift of money from the man who would be his principle benefactor in years to come, his uncle Jacobi. His parents insisted that he take along the gardener, Willie, so that he wouldn't be alone.

Boas posing in a German photography studio for an image to share with people demonstrating what his life had been like in Baffinland.

Boas spent a year in Baffinland, an island in the far, far north of Canada. The trip was unbelievably dangerous: Ships had to dock at the edge of the ice and then people would walk across the ice to the island. In the winter it was -40 degrees. Luckily Boas was energetic, focused, and driven by huge energy. He was the sort of person who was disgusted at himself for only working 20 hour days. He did research during the day and read Kant at night. Above all, he came to see Inuit people as people. "The more I see of their customs, the more I realize that we have no right to look down on them," he wrote to Marie in a letter that was spattered with the blood of the raw seal liver he had been eating.

Boas's trip was a success. He habilitated and married his sweetheart Marie. Together they created a loving and warm family. Professional success eluded him, however. Antisemitism made it difficult for him to find a job in Germany, so he moved to the US, where Marie’s family was — there were more opportunities there and Franz was also attracted to America as a land where his political ideals of liberty and freedom were more realized than they were in Germany.

Franz and Marie's wedding portrait.

Unfortunately, Boas found that there were few good jobs for geographers in the US. What people were interested in was Native Americans. Back in 1879 (when Boas was still in school) anthropology as a modern discipline was born in the United States. The goal was to understand the 'natural history of mankind', which in the US meant the origins of Native Americans. Were had they come from and what were they like? Previous answers -- tenuously derived from the Bible -- were clearly inadequate in light of new theories of evolution.

So Boas retooled himself as an anthropologist. He made multiple trips to the Pacific Northwest, a region that he is most closely associated with today. Still, he struggled. He got a dream job as a professor at Clark, a brand new university — only to have the university close down after a few years. He organized anthropological exhibits at the World's Fair at Chicago, hoping it would lead to a permanent position, but it didn’t. It was a dark time for Boas. His third daughter, Hete, was born in Chicago, caught whooping cough, and died in his arms. She was ten months old. Finally, Boas took a job at the American Museum of Natural History in New York and started teaching part time at Columbia. Finally in 1899, at the age of forty, he got a permanent position: He was now a faculty member at Columbia.

"Boas with the George Hunt family. Left to right, standing: David, George, Lalaxs'a, Mary (Ebbetts), Jonathan and Franz Boas. Sitting: Marion and Lucy. From row: Mary and Stanley" from Franz Boas: An Illustrated Biography

At Columbia, Boas was cutting edge. At a time when Harvard and Yale were just beginning to update their medieval curriculums, he had a Ph.D., the new research-focused degree that had made German universities world famous. Boas made history by being the first person in the US to offer a Ph.D. His students included Ruth Benedict, Edward Sapir, Margaret Mead, Robert Lowie, Alfred Kroeber, and many others.

Boas was also a tireless organizer, sitting on boards of journals, foundations, and associations. These positions allowed him to control funding and direct it to students. He was also a close friend of the millionaire feminist and activist Elsie Clews Parsons, who herself funded an entire generation of anthropological fieldwork. Boas worked his students very, very hard but also showed them tremendous loyalty. Boas not only lent money to students in times of need, in one case he signed on as a guarantor of a student loan, agreeing to pay it if the student defaulted.

Boas around the time he began working at Columbia.

True to his principles, Boas believed in meritocracy: If you could do the work, that was all that mattered. As a result he trained a generation of female students at a time when many universities didn’t accept female students at all. He also had few illusions about how much a white person could learn spending their summers on a reservation. For him, the best anthropologist was an insider with scientific training. As a result, he mentored scholars like William Jones (a Fox Indian) and Zora Neale Hurston.

 “Elsie [Clews Parsons] and colleagues at. Lounsberry, mid-1920s. On the porch, Elsie (in shadow on left) talks with Pliny Goddard; on the steps are Margaret Mead, Esther Goldfrank, Franz Boas, and Mrs. Nelson”. Via Deacon’s Elsie Clews Parsons. This picture illustrates the close ties Boas had with his students.

In fact, Boas was an uncompromising opponent of racism. Famously, in May 1906, he traveled to Atlanta University at the invitation of W.E.B. Du Bois and gave a speech claiming black people were biologically equal to white people. This was not a small thing in the Jim Crow South. Four months later, 25 black people were killed in Atlanta in a riot against black people that turned into a massacre. Then in 1909 Boas and a team of twenty researchers made 13,000 measurements of the children of immigrants to see whether they inherited their parents’ ’racial’ features. To his own surprise, Boas found that they didn't -- height, weight, and other factors were the result of the environment, not heredity. His students did similar research. Margaret Mead wrote a paper demonstrating the black people in the Midwest (where there was a strong public school system) did better on standardized tests than poor southern whites: schooling, not race, seemed to determine intelligence. Southern politicians repressed the study.

Boas’s relationship with indigenous people was more complicated. He was not a champion for Indigenous rights. He considered Native Americans conquered by the US and on the verge of cultural and biological extinction. His goal was 'salvage': to make a record of a disappearing culture the same way we have a record of Ancient Greece and Rome. He worked with many indigenous informants like George Hunt, who he paid to write letters detailing their customs. This relationship remains an object of scrutiny today: Did Boas exploit Hunt? Was Hunt Boas’s teacher and mentor? How much should someone be paid to write descriptions of salmon fishing in 1900 anyway?

Whatever we think of Boas’s relationship with Indigenous people today, at Columbia no one thought Boas was a friend to white people. He was considered a dangerous radical who had to be canceled. Not only did Boas attack the racial foundations of America, but when the US entered World War I, Boas was became a public enemy for opposing the war. Remember, this was a time when people where lynched for being German in the US. Columbia stopped paying him. They kept him from teaching undergraduates. They took space away from the department, leaving him with just his office. Boas was, essentially, canceled by the right.

What’s more, Boas's life was beset by personal tragedy. In addition to the death of his ten month old daughter in 1894, in 1924 his daughter Trudel died of polio. In 1925 his son Heini was killed in a car accident. Then in 1929 his wide died in a hit and run accident - the driver who hit her was never found. Boas's misery was palpable even before Marie's death. In 1927 he wrote to his son Ernst:

"I have not the light spirit of others and when I do not work, or else am intensely occupied with something else I can think of nothing but Trudel and Heini. They are there when I get up in the morning and when I stop work at night they are there… If I do not work these thoughts would destroy me." [L-Z v2 275]

Franz Boas featured on the cover of the 11 May 1936 cover of Time Magazine. In his old age, Boas's fight against racism became popular in America again as the US prepared to fascism in Europe.

Late in life Boas received the recognition he deserved, becoming a world-renowned scientist. In America, his anti-racist thinking became more and more recognized as America geared up to fight fascism. In Germany, an event was scheduled to give him an honorary degree. The degree was canceled and his books were pulled from the library and burnt by the Nazis. His last great work of activism was to help Jewish and leftist scholars flee the Nazis and get visas to come teach in America.

When Boas retired, he handed Columbia a gift: despite its attempts to derail him, he had created perhaps the greatest department of anthropology in the United States. And yet here failure dogged him. He had hoped his students Alfred Kroeber and Edward Sapir would come to Columbia to continue his work. Instead they stayed at Berkeley and Yale. His successor became Ruth Benedict, but she was then pushed aside by the administration and replaced by first Ralph Linton and then Duncan Strong.

Boas suffered many setbacks in his life, but he also overcame many obstacles. He lived an extraordinary life: Born before the Civil War, he lived to see the Pearl Harbor bombings. He trained the anthropologists who went on to start departments at Yale, Berkeley, Oregon, and many other places. He produced his famous “six foot shelf” — enough books on Kwakwakwakw that is longer than I was tall. After his death, his grandchildren and George Hunt’s grandchildren had a family reunion, and Hunt’s great grandchildren study anthropology in University. Despite his incredible age, Boas did not live to see just how influential he would become. Although he did not know it at the time, he became one of the few people Boas did not quite Although he may not have recognized or admitted it, he had in fact become one of the most important anthropologists in the world, and left an indelible imprint on the discipline for generations to come.

Sources: This was drawn from Rosemary Lévy-Zumwalt's two volume biography of Boas. The quote from . The reference to 1879 as the 'founding' date of anthropology comes from https://www.jstor.org/stable/658142?seq=1 . The Te Rangi Hiroa quote is from Na to Hoa Aroha volume 3. The blood stained letter is from George Stocking's "From physics to ethnology", p. 148

[chateau7afra]

Folklore in Fargo

Spoilers ahead, Sailor.

One of the things I loved about Fargo this season so far, is the incorporation of Folklore, suberstition and God. We meet Ole Munch (Sam Spurrell) in the first episode. He seems to be a regular hitman of sorts at first, who is set to kidnap the main character Dorothy (Juno Temple) He comes across a bit excentric and the way he talks and dresses seem very anachronistic. We also quickly learn, that Dot is not the regular homemaker and loving mum, she seems to be. Munch and his handyman set out to kidnap Dot, but fail miserably, because Dot is setting up traps and generally fights back, like a tiger. Munch's handyman gets killed in the process. We also get to know Roy Tillman (John Hamm) who was the one who sent Munch on his mission. We're not sure yet why the right wing cowboy goes through so much trouble just to kidnap the young mother. Because Munch failed the task, Roy is refusing to pay him, which sets off a rather bleak storyline in which Roy and his son Gator (Joe Keery, my love) try to put an end to Munch and vice versa. The most intriguing thing about Ole Munch is the ritual he performs at the Tillman Farm. He kills a goat, covers himself in it's blood and leaves a message for Roy over his Daughter's beds. The whole shebang is very occult and seems heathen. And then there is also the flashback to Wales in 1522. See now, this is where it gets really weird. And where I had to start googling some stuff.

In the flashback scene, we see a character, dressed in what seems to be clothes of the lower class, entering a house full of upper class people who are in mourning, dressed in black and weaping. We have a funeral on our hands here. The poor person looks like Ole Munch. Is it him? Is it an ancestor of his? We dont know! On the belly of the deseaced man, which is laid out in the house, a plate with food is situated. When Munch enters the house, there is a tense energy in the room. Munch walks up to the dead body and consumes the food offered on the plate in an almos animalistic fashion. The people in the room gasp, some of them disgusted, some of them afraid. Or both. Before Munch leaves, he gets two silver coins. Which must have been a lot of money back in the day, I did not research that. But we clearly witnessed some sort of ritual happening. It turns out, sin eating was a practice rich people took part of in Wales, Ireland and England in the 1600s. A willing poor person was invited to literally eat the sins of the deseaced person, so they could be welcomed at the pearly gates, with a clean record. All the sins are transferred, to the person who ate the food. A grewsome fate for people at the time, but hey, a mans gotta eat. The world is bleak, so I don't go with the rational reason in fiction, ever. I like to think that Ole Munch ate so many sins, that he became a spirit, that can not die, who is forced to wander around the earth forever, and for some reason chose america. His very beautifully written monologues would suggest that. They almost sound shakespearian.

But how does this play into the bigger theme of Fargo S5? Well, if you think about it, the whole season is about unpaid depts and consequences. Dot ran away from Roy and the farm, because of the ongoing domestic violence Roy inflicts on her. In Roy's book, she owes him, because she made a pledge to him, when they got married. Even though it's very clear, that Dot wasn't so much older than his own son Gator, when the vows were exchanged. Ole Munch sees a debt not paid, because he didn't receive paymant for "eating the sin" of kidnapping Dot. Dot's mother in law, who is a very rich lady played by the brilliant Jennifer Jason Leigh points out "What is the point of being a billionaire, if you can't get someone killed.", while on the phone with an ex-president, apparently Bill Clinton, if I remember right. The show tries to say, we never got over the sin eating, because with money and power, you can pay your way out of any circumstance, be it kidnapping or murder. There is always going to be someone who needs the money more than their soul. And there is always going to be someone who takes advantage of that.

Roy Tillman, quotes the bible a lot. He thinks of himself as a right and just man, as a leader, even though he likes to bend the law to fit his own agenda. He does not give a flying fuck about the law of the land as it is "dictated by washington" and funds a right wing militia with taxpayer money, to actually kill democracy from within. He is the law of the land. These scenes sent shivers down my spine and reminded me vividly of January 8th.

Anyway. All of the storylines in this show are so amazing and worth writing about. Go watch it, you won't regret a second.

[kissmypoets-hp]

drarry fan discovers gallaplacidia's body of work for the first time in the year 2024

every time i start a new gallaplacidia fic i need to mentally prepare myself for the ANGST JOURNEY i am about to embark on.... i only got into reading drarry fics extensively this year, so i never got to witness her posting in real-time. i often come in completely blind since i'm not seeing her fics on AO3 — i mean, i do see the fic blurbs when i add book covers on Calibre, yes, but i downloaded all her complete works from google drive and don't really know what to expect... and yet. i am blown away every single time!!!

this gets pretty long (i accidentally Realize she follows some kdrama formulas) so i'll keep the rest under the cut haha

she is so adept at portraying grief, trauma, and unhealthy coping mechanisms in young people, and i always end up crying actual tears???? now that i am typing this out, she writes a lot like how k-drama writers do: she has mastered the art of emotional whiplash — a lovable cast, a kind of sincerity-sadness-and-a a love that saves us somehow, the DRAMA etc — and i eat it up every single time 🍽️ how am i crying then laughing then absolutely devastated then Okay Again Because Despite The Grief We Have Each Other... you know??!! very much girl who is "going to be okay" realness...

i cannot believe i accidentally made sense, but: ms. gallaplacidia also follows the k-drama formula of

a ragtag cast alongside The Main Couple (bonus points if there is a cute child somewhere)

multiple storylines that elicit different emotions from the readers and All Come Together Somehow (to make me cry)

the ending involves neatly wrapping up plot points — even her fics with more open endings feel more definite because something has Shifted. her characters have changed and grown into themselves throughout the story, and while we don't know what happens next there is a promise of something new... AND..... i am absolutely tickled as i type but...

a poor, down and out but hardworking/earnest character (draco) falls for a surly, rich, handsome character with a lack of social skills (harry...!!!!!).... i can't believe i only connected the dots now but. it's the classic k-drama trope!!! it's there. it's soooo there!! this literally happened to our pal draco malfoy. i am absolutely delighted if you couldn't tell.... to quote bell hooks, only a crazy person doesn't want to be rescued!!! a lot of times draco wants to be saved so bad, and harry always wants to feel needed (very true to canon). it's such a magnetic dynamic that always pulls me in....

anyway i've just started Code Name L this week... oh brother. we are so back (it is so over).

forgive me for rambling!!! i don't really know who to talk to about these fics so ALL OF YOU will be subjected to my Posting (EVIL LAUGHTER).... but i am truly so floored to read her works for free and i will def hunt down a copy of her published novel when i have the time and budget.... i love the internet

[unknown-lifeform]

Also more on the asgzc dragon au, two main more plotty scenarios I do have for it:

The Aerith Disaster:

Genesis and Cloud one day went to attack some rich traveling humans in order to take their riches all for themselves. Among them they found Aerith, a human princess. Aerith was being sent off to marry someone, which she really didn't want, and asked Genesis and Cloud if they were perhaps interested in kidnapping her for a while. They asked her why the fuck would they do. Aerith said well, I'm a princess, I am one of the most important people around, I'm sure I can be a valuable addition for any dragon's hoard :) Genesis and Cloud were like do we look stupid to you

Angeal: why is there a human in the cave.

Zack immediately made very good friends with Aerith. So did Cloud. Genesis started liking her because of the sheer drama keeping her caused. Angeal was extremely dubious at first, but then humans started coming to try and free her, and well that was free treasure for his hoard wasn't it

Sephiroth did not like Aerith. He was neutral on her at first because whatever, it's just a human. But then he saw his hoard starting to get attached and he was very much not happy about it. How dare she monopolize so much of their time. He can and will be jealous of this little soft pink thing. And angry that she keeps sassing him despite the fact he can literally swallow her whole

There were a couple interventions staged to make Sephiroth calm down about it. Reminding him he is a dragon and she isn't, he is the strongest and most good looking, lots of either exasperated reassurances or rolling around and showing belly. Sephiroth learnt to sort of tolerate her

In the meanwhile, there was a regular stream of knights coming around to fight the dragons and promptly getting eaten or chased off. Aerith found it all very entertaining. Sitting around on Zack's tail watching Genesis chase people off a mountain and all

Among all the various knights was Tifa, who is a traveling knight without any particular allegiance, and had decided to come save Aerith. She was very determined about it. Kept managing to escape being burnt to a crisp and then coming back. Aerith liked her, honestly. Determined. Strong. Hot

Cloud, being landbound, usually saw the knights coming long before the others did. After a while, he started kind of just hanging around in his burrows watching this happen. His own personal show. He also saw a whole lot of Tifa showing up and then running down the mountain very fast with new scorch marks on her armor

Cloud, laying outside of his hole to bask in some sun: you again? Give it a rest buddy

Eventually Aerith started saying she kind of liked Tifa. Wouldn't mind going off with her. The dragons all thought well, in that case, Tifa should court her properly. Show off she could be a proper mate. Except they're dragons so obviously they have no idea what humans want

Cloud, relaying the information to Tifa: you should... Alright, no scales to shine, obviously, but whatever, make yourself look good for a human. And you can't roar to show off either. Do you have a hoard? Something to impress her? Anything at all? Can you at least catch a deer or something?

Tifa: is like a couple pheasants ok? Because I don't think Aerith can eat a whole deer

Honestly killing the dragons might have been easier than trying to prove to them that Tifa was a good prospect mate

Aerith and Tifa eventually rode off into the sunset to marry and everyone was kind of sad they wouldn't have to bully knights around to protect her. Except Sephiroth Sephiroth is still a jealous ass. Everyone get here they're having an orgy to celebrate the human being gone

The other scenario is the Baby Denzel scenario:

So wyrm packs sometimes overlap in territory with dragons. Cloud is grumpy around other wyrms, but he could accept some being in the general area so long at they didn't come bother him. The combined territories of three dragons + a wyvern are massive, after all, and Cloud originally showed up in Zack's territory so that's where most of his burrows are. When Angeal told him one day a couple wyrms had settled in his territory, Cloud didn't think much of it

But then one day there were some large landslides in Angeal's territory, and he didn't see the wyrms around after, so he got Cloud to come and see if they were alright. Turned out the landslide had hit their burrow, and they had ended up dying in the cave in. But digging about, Cloud did find one intact egg, and he couldn't in his right mind abandon it there

Of course everyone was dubious about it because if the egg hatched then they would all be responsible for a baby, but Cloud just couldn't abandon it to die

He took it to his own burrow and made a nice nest and got to trying to care for it. In a wyrm pack the parents (and eventually older children) would take turns caring for eggs, but Cloud's mates were all too big to fit in his burrows - well, they could in human form, but it was less than ideal and also dragons and wyverns can be a bit claustrophobic in a dirt tunnel - so Cloud was mostly doing the caring while the others hunted for him

Egg eventually hatched. Baby wyrms are extremely tiny. They mostly stay in the burrow for the first weeks, and when they start coming out they are small enough to be vulnerable to a lot of predators. Cue baby Denzel taking his first steps in the grass with five extremely apprehensive parents around him ready to roast anything that gets a little too confident

Denzel learns very fast the joys of sunbathing while lying on top of a very warm parent. Especially those with darker scales, they absorb the eat better. True bliss. Meanwhile Angeal is lying with his son on his flank and never moving from here ever again

First winter was a bit of a problem, because Cloud generally spends it in Sephiroth's gave, but Denzel was still too squirmy to safely transport and too young to understand what exactly was happening. So they had to hibernate in Cloud's burrow. Cue other four apprehensive parents periodically showing up outside the burrow to check if everything was alright

Cloud, getting woken up for the tenth time this winter, barely warm enough to form words: let me fucking sleep

After that they started bringing Denzel and Cloud over to Sephiroth's cave for the winter. Much better that way

Now once wyrm children around grown they either go their own way or stay with the pack. Denzel probably did go off on his own at some point to start his own pack, he was a very independent young wyrm, but he still comes back from time to time to see the good old parents. Which is way more than Zack, Angeal, Sephiroth, or Genesis expected, dragon and wyvern kids leave the cave and never come back as grown ups