#like no we’ve rehearsed this
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my roman empire is when in dh2 you take out the first guard you encounter after you leave the tower in a long day in dunwall and if you’re playing as Corvo he says “traitorous dog” or “disloyal dog”
#the disgust in his voice 🫣#also sometimes he says you’re not fit to wear that watch uniform#and I’m like ugh#like no we’ve rehearsed this#I’ve been a bad dog remember??#someone isolate this voice line for me so I can stop watch playthroughs for this specific reason#yeah this is unhinged but#when they said sexualize that old man I took my orders to HEART okay?
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My boyfriend’s favorite terrible voice impression bit is what I’m dubbing “Sasha Nein from Psychonauts threw out his back and is desperately begging Raz for Advil” and he does it whenever his back hurts
#though I just pointed out his attempt at a zim impression just sounded like an old man so he’s been saying some variation of#dib I’m old#or dib I’m getting old#so that’s a new one#thedamtalkingtag#this bit has been happening more since we’ve been having rehearsal every other day until 11 pm lol
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What even is a voice lesson if I don’t cry atp
#light-hearted. I’m fine#I truly wish I understood why I cry uncontrollably in voice lessons#like wtf#it’s so humiliating#anyway it kind of makes sense this time#this opera is so fucking hard it’s quite literally making me rip my hair out#and I feel like such an idiot for not getting my part down perfectly#we’ve had it for so long I feel like I should be better#everyone else in it is also struggling and they’re all music majors and said it’s the hardest music they’ve ever worked on#which does make me feel a little less stupid bc like. this is just REALLY ridiculously hard music#but it’s still so frustrating#plus I have literally 10 hours of nonstop rehearsal today between opera and choir urgrhgrhthrhfhh#sometimes I wonder why I do this to myself#I love singing but fuck it makes me miserable like 90% of the time LOL#musicposting
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#I hate my job holy shit 😭😭😭😭#if I say anything to my sister it’s all ‘’wElL mY job is HARDER so yOu CaNt CoMpLaIn’’#and it’s like yeah your job is harder!#mine just sucks and is slowly grinding away my joy#I hate hate hate this manager so fucking much#I hate that she’s incompetent I hate that she doesn’t understand how grammar works#I hate that she doesn’t know how the fuck to give feedback#I am so so close to being like BTW in the future pls give your feedback at the START before we’ve gone thru 17 iterations and have a present#*presentation today bc much of this is ENTIRELY NEW to the fucking project or just flat out wrong#ughhhhhhhh christ#personal#I hate hate hate starting my week#with like shitty miserable Sunday rehearsal#and then getting up to work on Monday and just dreading the entire fucking work week#it sucks! so much!!
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lmao it is wild to me that the director of the show i’m working on rn can be given essentially an extra hour of rehearsal time and STILL not manage to hit all the scenes she wants to work on! like the past couple shows i’ve done here, when we get into previews we rehearse from 12-4 and then break for dinner before coming back to reset, but we’re going all the way to 5! running transitions for the whole show has been on our work list since SATURDAY, but she decided she also wanted to work through act one today, and uh… we didn’t even get to the end of the act
#as soon as i saw that was at the top of the work list i KNEW we were not getting to the act 2 transitions#there was no doubt in my mind that she would find things to work on and run 2-3 times and use the entire rehearsal block#JUST doing act one stuff#like we did act one transitions AGAIN#even tho that’s all we’ve done since saturday!!#can’t wait to see if we actually do anything from act two tomorrow lmao#asm adventures#my post#text
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I finally made a friend in my orchestra and I’m so happy! Making friends as an adult who is out of college and in the real world can be so hard… I wish people talked about that more. But we exchanged numbers at the concert!! She’s prepping for med school AND her dad used to be a major public defender so she said I could talk to him about law school. Networking & friendship 101 🫶🏻
#I’m honestly so happy#I texted my girlfriend and geeked out after#I have awful social anxiety and get so scared talking to people like I’m so shy fr#but we’ve chatted a few times at rehearsal and we both love to make fun of the conductor#yayyyy happy Monday
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Gonna be playing my sax for the first time in a year on the day of the alumni concert I’m performing in tomorrow
#sillyposting#it’s still funny to me that we’ve had no rehearsals#they’re like yeah show up and we’ll practice for a couple hours then it’s showtime#um. um. okay.#I’m not that worried though bc it’s music I’ve played a million times before#it’s just funny
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I’m performing in a play in less than two days werheheoorowoowwh
#the excitement and stress and nervousness I feel. unreal. but I’m gonna give it my all#we’ve been rehearsing for this since like. November. and now it’s finally happening#woohoo#kris speaks
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Hi!
Can I request a fic where the reader starts realizing they have feelings for Sylus and gets so nervous around him that they can’t resonate anymore?
And Sylus thinks that the reader is scared/disgusted by him again so the reader is forced to confess their feelings to not create a bigger misunderstanding
Thanks!
- 🌻
The moment I got this request I was like HELLO— sunflower anon, you just get me 😌 Anyway! Am back from my break and I hope everyone’s ready for some Vulnerable Sylus™️, because I have got him hot to go!!!
A Gentle Touch
Sylus x Reader 🩸
Summary: You really can’t let Sylus into your head this time— he’s living there rent-free already.
Genre: Angst + Fluff (& some Luke and Kieran shenanigans because they were not feeling the angst)
Warnings/Additional Tags: f!reader, injury detail, mentions of possible trauma, humour, some intimacy at the end 😘, Luke and Kieran are having the time of their lives
| Word count: 3.2k | Masterlist | Opt-in to my taglist here!
Disclaimer: Characters belong to Love and Deepspace. All work is my own, so please don't repost or plagiarise!
If you asked, Sylus would tell you.
You catch glimpses: dark, sharp flickers of something monstrous, maybe even infernal. Blood, everywhere— thick in your mouth and your nose. All over your hands. You feel it, too: a yearning, so intense, and you couldn’t say whom it belongs to. Then there’s death. Searing white. Bottomless black. In the middle of all of it— crimson eyes like dying stars.
Every time you resonate, it envelops you, is laid out bare before you: a nightmare you’re caught in the centre of but forced to watch from outside. An other, a spectator. It’s a show, just for you, but it isn’t quite ready yet; someone’s still rehearsing their lines.
If you asked, Sylus would let you see it. It’s a power you have over him, a constant, self-sacrificial: you want it? It’s yours. So you don’t ask. You never ask. Like words mumbled in a haze of wine or sleep, you let him hold onto it. His hands are open, yes, but you don’t have to take.
Besides, you have your own, world-changing little secret, and he’s going to see it too.
He’s slumped in front of you, blood sheeting down from two bullet wounds just below his shoulder. He catches his breath— one, two— before he peeks over this desk you’ve overturned for cover. You should be peeking over as well: should be counting your enemies, scouting your next move.
Instead, you’re looking at him and holding back. One minute ago you had no idea where he was, how he was, and it’d been eating away at you from the moment you got separated. Now he’s with you— he found you— and the relief is desperate, gushing; it has to escape somehow. It drips: forbidden daydreams, one after the other, like…
How you want to hold his face and urge him to speak so you can just hear his voice.
How you want to press a hand to his heart and feel the beat of it beneath your palm.
How you want to kiss him, want to taste the blood on his split lip, because this is your story, isn’t it? Messy. Violent. Defiant.
He looks at you, that same blood carving a thin line through the pale of his chin. It drops down onto his silk shirt. “What are you thinking about, kitten?” he grins. His best guess: “This is a fine mess we’ve gotten ourselves into, hmm?”
It’s a fine mess he got you into. “Yeah.” You make yourself look away from him, glancing over the desk to assess how much worse the situation is getting. The answer? Significantly.
Sylus chuckles, drawing your eyes back as he reloads his gun. “Don’t say I never treat you to anything, sweetie.” He fires a few rounds towards the encroaching danger.
Voices go up across the room. Gunshots ring out, louder. Sylus slinks back down, wincing, holding his shoulder, and his fingers turn red. He deftly undoes the first few buttons on his shirt, peeling it back so he can examine his wounds. His jaw clenches; the punctures aren’t closing over fast enough. It’s too much blood, too quick, and he’ll—
He catches you staring. There’s a sheepish sincerity in the way he smiles, as honest and vulnerable as the holes in his shoulder. He holds out his hand. “Time for an energy storm, don’t you think?”
“No,” you snap. “Save your energy. We might need it later.”
“Oh?” An eyebrow perks up in interest, and it’s just like him to spot a double entendre in the midst of all this chaos.
But you’re staring at his chest through his open shirt and you’re such a hypocrite. “Things might get worse,” you explain.
“Worse?” he repeats as bullets fly over your heads, striking the wall across from you and scattering plaster over the floor. He watches it crumble. “Paint me a picture, kitten— what would worse look like?”
Even Rafayel might struggle with that particular creative prompt.
“Come on,” Sylus insists, using the excuse of your silence to push his hand closer to you. “Now’s not the time to play coy.”
“Sylus, I really don’t—”
He grasps your hand, his fingers locking with yours and squeezing tight. Your heart jumps at the touch. It strangles the protests in your throat and stays there, strung up by anticipation and dread.
You’re feeling so much that it takes you too long to realise nothing is happening.
Sylus’s eyes are fixed on your connected palms. He’s squinting, concentrating, and when that doesn’t work— when your hand is paling in the vice of his— he loosens his grip, his thumb feathering over yours as he mumbles a quick: “forgive me.”
He doesn’t let you go. You can still feel him, all of him, imploring to just let him in.
You don’t, and his eyes meet yours, for a moment— like another bullet has bitten through his flesh. Your mouth drops in fake surprise; you’re always so innocent when you pull a trigger on him.
This time, there’s no wound you can push your hands against in a guilty effort to staunch the bleeding. You have to apologise. Have to stitch it up with every word you’ve been guarding, saving, and it isn’t supposed to be like this. “Sylus, it’s not what you think. I—”
Something metal clatters across the floor behind you, bounces like a failing, stuttering heartbeat, then explodes.
…
“Good news, boss! We figured it out!”
Sylus groans, looking up from a report he’s not really been reading as two figures crash into his room. Not good, he thinks, as Kieran flings himself into the nearest armchair. Whatever this is, it’s not good. Luke settles on its arm.
With a sigh, Sylus removes his reading glasses. They stay, hooked on a finger, as he pushes his hair back like he can feel a headache coming on. His eyes flutter closed, and when they open, the twins are both leaning forward, bristling with excitement.
“Ask us,” Luke whispers in a way that makes Sylus think he might not realise he’s speaking out loud.
Another sigh. “What did you figure out?”
Kieran whips out a tired-looking notepad from behind his back. He clears his throat— “ahem!”— then starts to read: “Reasons why Miss Hunter was not able to resonate with you. Number one...”
“How did you find out about—”
“Sshhhh,” Kieran interrupts, putting a finger to where his lips should be. Sylus’s eyes widen in indignation, and Luke comes to his twin’s rescue, silently indicating Mephisto with a few tips of his head. The crow shrinks down on his perch.
“Number one,” Kieran repeats, matter-of-factly. “Your height.”
“My… height?”
Luke nods solemnly as Kieran continues: “humanityandconquer.com/power-dynamics describes tallness as a ‘natural advantage when trying to dominate a smaller individual.’ You are very tall. Try crouching when you speak to Miss Hunter.” He glances over the top of his notepad. “If you approach her at her level, she’ll know you mean no—”
“Nope. Next,” Sylus dismisses, waving his hand in a fast-forward motion. That headache is coming on.
“Reason two,” Kieran acquiesces, gaze falling, “your eyes.”
“Oh, for gods’ sake—”
“They’re red,” the twin pushes on, “and red means danger. In fiction, red eyes are symony—” he stops, spells it out— “synonymous with the supernatural. Vampires especially. Plus, lots of bad stuff is red.” He’s going off-script. “Blood. Fire. Sunburns.”
“Sunburns are pink,” Luke muses.
“No, like, bad sunburns, y’know?”
“Oh right, yeah.” There’s a shrug of agreement.
Sylus’s will to live is hanging by a thread, and they really don’t have a care in the world, do they? It must be nice. “Thank you,” he murmurs, “for your little investigation. If that’s all, I would—”
“Reason three!” Luke chirps, wiggling the same number of fingers, and Sylus’s head lolls back against the sofa.
“Miss Hunter is struggling to separate this version of you from your first impression,” Kieran says.
Sylus looks up. “What?”
Luke is rubbing his hands together eagerly, like they’ve finally gotten to the good stuff. “Well, you remember how you and Miss Hunter met,” his twin explains.
Words won’t do it justice, apparently, because the man begins to act it out. He reaches to grip Luke by the throat and Luke pretends to choke, fingers clawing at the grasp. Then Kieran stands up— throws Luke down into the chair and pins him there with his foot before snatching up his hand.
“See what I mean?” Kieran asks over his shoulder. “I mean, it must have been pretty traumatic. You kinda tore her away from everything she knew. Forced her to use her power, et cetera, et cetera.”
Sylus has gone quiet. He’s vaguely aware that the twins are moving, saying more, but he can’t hear it. He feels sick. Then he feels something different: someone poking at his arm. A hand is waved in front of his face, but he doesn’t react.
“Oh, we so got it,” Luke whispers conspiratorially behind him.
“Hell yeah we did!” Kieran whispers back.
There’s the sound of them high-fiving, and it spurs Sylus into action. He’s up out of his seat, out of their shadows, and then the door as well— long before they can stop him. He needs to breathe. He needs the cold night air and the quiet, and his strides drive him towards it, but not fast enough.
He’s about to use his Evol. To let himself evaporate so he can be whole again somewhere else, somewhere easier, but then he stops. He’s by an open door, glancing in at a decadent living room, where you’re sprawled over a black leather couch. This isn’t easier. This hurts, and it hurts more as he forces himself to close the distance between you.
You’re still asleep. You’ve been unconscious ever since that grenade went off, and it’s for the best, really; getting out of that place was… messy. Sylus’s shoulder still aches, the blood on his shirt now crusty and dark. Some of it’s his. Some of it’s yours.
He’s not sure why he’s still wearing it.
The twins did a pretty good job of patching you up, but— looking over you— he would have done better. It was his role, after all. His duty to you, or maybe just a reason to get close to you. He couldn’t do it today. Couldn’t touch you, no matter how noble the intention. And a little part of him was glad for the excuse; his hands always shake.
A blanket is half on your legs, half on the floor, and Sylus stoops to collect the edge of it. He draws it over your shoulder, adjusting it around your arms— at rest by your face. He’s close, now, and he…
He can’t help himself. When has he ever been able to help himself? He lifts his hand slowly; he wants to kiss you. Even though your blood is still drying on his shirt and it’s all his fault.
…
Someone’s hand is on your face.
The touch draws you back into consciousness, tender, careful, then suddenly sharp. “Ah,” you hiss. “Sylus?” Always first on your mind and your lips.
“Not even close,” quips the shadow above you.
“Kieran?”
“Bingo.”
You use your hand to block some of the room’s light as you open your eyes— a birdlike silhouette taking shape through the gaps in your fingers. “Where’s Sylus?” you ask, teeth clenching as the twin applies a thin strip of surgical tape to a cut on your cheek. “Is he ok?”
“Sheesh, relax. He’s fine,” Kieran tuts, then seems to reconsider, “well…”
“He’s brooding,” chimes a voice from behind you. “Out on the balcony.” Luke.
You rub at your eyes, still drowsy with sleep. “Why’s he brooding? What did you do?”
“Told him he traumatised you,” they speak in unison.
“What?! Why would you say something like that?”
“Because it’s true,” Kieran shrugs. “That’s why you and boss couldn’t, you know…” He twinkles his fingers.
Resonate? Ugh. You slide your feet onto the floor, sitting up straight for a solid second before you bury your face in your hands, omitting a few, pained whines. This is such a mess, and it only got worse while you were asleep. First that stupid grenade, now the twins.
A hand pats at your back. “There, there,” Luke soothes.
You turn to glare at him. His hand retreats.
Forget it; you have to find Sylus.
…
You step out onto the balcony, head full of apologies you’ve had all of a minute to prepare, and it isn’t enough. It felt fitting, in the middle of a shootout— everything was allowed to be frantic and from the heart. Here it’s calm, and if you ruin something— break anything— it’s going to be obvious. There’s no other violence to blame.
Sylus must hear you join him, but he doesn’t turn. He’s leant forwards against the rail, one arm folded upon it, the other outstretched: sporting a glass of liquor that hangs from the tips of his fingers and that he swirls gently, his gaze far away.
The twins really weren’t kidding.
“Hey,” you greet, and it’s sort of pathetic, but you don’t know what else to say.
“Hey,” Sylus returns, “are you—” he looks back at you over his shoulder— “are you alright?”
“Yeah,” you smile warmly. “I mean, the twins are giving me a headache, but that’s, like, standard.”
He smiles back: a courtesy. You’ve seen him grin through almost every type of pain imaginable, but this one is new. Think about what Luke and Kieran said. What he must be thinking. “Sylus, I—”
“You don’t have to explain,” he stops you, turning his body towards you. “Honestly, I’d… rather you didn’t.”
“Why?”
“Why?” he chuckles, masking a deeper hurt as he lifts his glass to his lips. “You’re really going to make me say it?”
You are; you hold his gaze as he takes a deliberately slow sip of his drink. He smirks, surrenders at once and admits: “I’m really not that strong, sweetie. That’s why.”
“What if I want to explain?”
The smirk falters, and his eyes make their own, sad, silent confession. If you want to explain? He’ll let you. He’ll stand here, listening patiently while you call him a thing of nightmares. While you break him, bit by tortuous bit, by reminding him just how frightening he is.
He turns back to the view, shrugs, but none of the tension leaves his shoulders. “Go on, then.”
“Sylus?”
“Mmm?”
“You don’t scare me, you know.”
His hand tightens around his glass. “Don’t.”
“Don’t what?”
“Pity me,” he grimaces. “I don’t need it. I know what I am. I’d just… forgotten what I was to you.”
Your captor. Your monster. Except that was a lifetime ago and he’s been so many more things to you since then. Tell him. “Sylus…”
“I felt it,” he snaps, because your voice is still so reluctant, and he’s going to save you the trouble. “When we tried to resonate, I felt it— your fear— just as deep as it used to be. I heard that same voice in your head, the one saying you wouldn’t let me in, couldn’t let me in, so don’t tell me I don’t scare you, sweetie.” The term of endearment tastes sour, you can tell. “I know how you feel. I know—”
“I like you, Sylus.”
“…What?”
You couldn’t take it anymore. “I like you,” you say again, and your heart is beating too quickly for eloquence, so you just have simplicity. “You don’t scare me at all, Sy. I care about you. A lot.”
Sylus stares at you, his eyes wide. There’s no confidence. No smile or drawn-out breath of relief. He sets his glass aside on the railing, gaze leaving yours for a moment, and you get the feeling he needs that moment as much as he needed the drink itself.
Then he looks at you again. Asks in a way that makes you ache: “do you mean it?”
Look at him. Your throat stings. “Of course I mean it.”
“Say it again.”
“I mean it, Sylus. I care about—”
His lips are on yours and the rest of your words are lost in his mouth. You, you say with the way you kiss him back, soft and slow, like you’re relishing something that might slip away. You, you insist— your hand finding his face, his hair, as he kisses you deeper, and you, you, you, when he doesn’t stop.
“Is this alright?” he murmurs, his fingers around your chin and his thumb tugging at your bottom lip.
“Mmm,” you confirm, equally breathless.
He laughs as he withdraws a little, still caressing your face like you’re something of a dream. “You’re not making this easy, kitten.”
“Worried you might traumatise me again?”
It's a low blow. He scoffs. “Luke and Kieran said—”
“Luke and Kieran once bought arts-and-crafts feathers for Mephisto because they thought the colours would make him, and I quote: more aerodynamic.” You pinch his ear playfully. “I can’t believe you let them get to you.”
“I know,” he groans, lifting your hand so he can press chaste kisses along the line of your knuckles. “Not my finest moment.” He guides your palm to his cheek— leans into it as he leans into an idea. “They said you hated my eyes,” he pouts.
You can’t help giggling. He frowns. “I mean— aww, no,” you scramble, but you’re still laughing. You can’t stop. “Your eyes are… yeah. So pretty.”
“You had to think about it?”
“There were just too many adjectives, y’know? I was struggling to—”
He kisses you again, saving you: crushing your laughter with his own, lightheaded smile. His hand finds yours as his lips move against you, your fingers interlocking as you resonate— chasing an instinct, a need to be impossibly closer— and you let him see everything. Feel everything.
It’s a mad tangle of opposites. Heaven. Hell. Life. Death. You don’t know what any of it means, but it’s yours and it’s his and it doesn’t scare you half as much as it should. Sylus breaks your kiss. He pushes his forehead against your own with a sigh of contentment, and it doesn’t scare him, either.
Savour each second. Think of some better adjectives, while you still have the time.
He’s going to earn every single one.
…
✨Epilogue✨
Inside, staring out through the floor-to-ceiling windows that separate the room from the balcony, Luke and Kieran stand, looking awfully smug.
“Mission accomplished,” Kieran nods, flipping closed his notepad, aptly titled: 101 Ways To Get Boss Laid! (There are only, currently, fifty-two.)
Luke’s arms are folded. “We’re like, the best wingmen ever.”
Kieran is silent. He repeats carefully: “Wingmen. Wingmen.”
The beaks of the crow masks gradually turn to face one-another. There’s a mutual epiphany, and both twins almost fall over laughing.
#🖋rach is actually writing#🌻 anon#sylus x reader#sylus#love and deepspace#lads sylus#lnds sylus#l&ds sylus#qin che#sylus x mc#sylus x you#lads x reader#lads#lnds#l&ds
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Live Like We Want To
Charles Leclerc x Wolff!Reader x Lewis Hamilton
Summary: there’s only one thing harder than keeping a relationship between two of the paddock’s most prominent figures hidden … keeping a relationship between three of the paddock’s most prominent figures hidden
Warnings: 18+ content
Based on this request
The drivers settle on the awkwardly shaped white couch, microphones clipped carefully to the collars of their shirts, waiting for the pre-race press conference to begin.
Lewis fiddles with his Mercedes cap, lost in thought. Lando and Daniel banter back and forth, Lando ribbing Daniel about his recent attempts to be artsy on Instagram and Daniel giving as good as he gets.
The moderator steps up to begin the press conference. After a few standard questions about the track and the upgrades the teams have brought, it’s time for the driver questions.
A reporter looks over at Lewis. “Lewis, you and Y/N seem very close lately. There’s been speculation you two might be dating. What do you say about that?”
Lewis opens his mouth but before he can respond, Daniel jumps in. “Oh come on, we all know Lewis is way too old for Y/N! She needs someone younger and spicier.” He winks at the camera.
Lando chuckles. “Too right, mate. Y/N deserves a fun guy who actually knows how to have a good time, not someone almost eligible for a senior discount.”
Lewis forces out a rehearsed laugh. “Hey now, I’m not that old!”
“Face it, the age gap is just too much. She needs someone closer to her own age, like me!” Lando says with a grin.
“You?” Daniel scoffs. “Please, Y/N needs a real man to show her a good time, not some baby-faced kid.”
“Who are you calling a kid?” Lando shoots back. “I’m mature for my age!”
Max, who has been quiet up until now, suddenly pipes up. “Actually, I think Y/N and I would make a great match ...”
The other drivers swivel their heads to look at him. “You?” Daniel says in disbelief.
“Why not?” Max shrugs. “We’ve got a connection.”
Lewis grits his teeth, struggling to stay quiet. He wants to tell them all to back off, that you’re taken. But he knows he can’t reveal the truth about your relationship, as much as it pains him to stay silent.
Lando laughs. “Mate, she’s way out of your league!”
“Oh yeah? I could get her if I wanted to,” Max says defensively.
Daniel grins and claps Max on the back. “Ooh, those are fighting words! You don’t stand a chance.”
Max crosses his arms. “Maybe she likes a bad boy. I’m more exciting than any of you.”
“Exciting? You?” Lando pretends to yawn. “All you ever think about off the track is sim racing! That’s not exciting, it’s dull.”
“Hey! Sim racing is very intense and takes a lot of skill,” Max says indignantly.
Lewis has finally had enough. “Alright guys, maybe we should change the subject. I’m sure Y/N can decide for herself who she wants to spend time with, without all of us bickering over her.”
Lando ignores Lewis and looks back at Max, a mischievous twinkle in his eye. “I bet I could get Y/N to go out with me before you can.”
“You’re so on!” Max says.
Daniel shakes his head. “Woah now, let’s leave the poor girl out of your competition. Especially since neither of you have a chance anyway.”
“Oh really? I suppose you think you’re the obvious choice?” Max says sarcastically.
“Obviously!” Daniel replies with a cocky grin.
As the three younger drivers continue with their posturing, Lewis pinches the bridge of his nose, exhaling loudly. He catches the moderator’s eye and nods, signaling it’s time to move on.
The moderator clears his throat. “Alright, next question ...”
After the press conference ends, Lewis hurriedly gathers his things. As he’s walking out of the media center, Max catches up to him.
“No hard feelings about all that, mate?” Max says sheepishly.
Lewis musters up a smile. “Of course not. It was all in good fun.”
“Cool.” Max nods. “For what it’s worth, I don’t actually have a thing for Y/N. I was just messing around back there.”
“I know, I know,” Lewis says, clapping Max just a tad too hard on the shoulder before turning to go. Over his shoulder he calls out, “May the best man win!”
Max laughs and shakes his head as Lewis walks away.
Lewis enters the Mercedes garage and immediately spots you chatting with the engineers. His heart skips a beat like it always does when he sees you. A vision in a crop top and skinny jeans, your hair cascading over your shoulders as you lean over a data sheet, nodding intently.
So beautiful.
You glance up and spot Lewis. Your face lights up, a radiant smile spreading across it. Lewis grins back, the stress of the press conference fading away.
He waits until you’re done talking to the engineers, then pulls you discreetly aside. In an empty meeting room, Lewis wraps you in a tight embrace.
“Hi baby,” he murmurs, nuzzling your hair.
You cling to him. “I missed you. How was the press conference?”
Lewis hesitates. “It was … interesting.”
You pull back to look at him curiously. “What do you mean?”
“Well, there were some questions about us. Our relationship.”
Your eyes widen. “What did you say?”
“Nothing! Don’t worry, I didn’t reveal anything. But the other drivers jumped in with their opinions.”
You groan. “Do I even want to know?”
Lewis runs an agitated hand through his hair. “Well, apparently I’m way too old for you. Daniel, Lando, and Max all started competing over who would be your best match.”
You snort. “That’s ridiculous.”
“I know, I know,” Lewis says. “I wanted to tell them you’re mine, but ...”
“You did the right thing keeping quiet,” you say gently, taking his hands in yours. “We knew this wouldn’t be easy, keeping our relationship a secret.”
Lewis sighs. “I just hate not being able to claim you as my girlfriend in public. Having to pretend I don’t care when other guys flirt with you.”
You squeeze his hands supportively. “I know. But my dad would freak if he knew I was dating you. He’s so overprotective. And the press would have a field day if they found out Lewis Hamilton was seeing Toto Wolff’s daughter.”
“You’re right,” Lewis says. “But that doesn’t mean I have to like it.”
You smile softly at him. “Just think, one day we won’t have to hide anymore. We’ll be out and proud for the whole world to see.”
Lewis grins. “I look forward to that day.” He pauses, gazing at you tenderly. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” you whisper.
Lewis glances around quickly before pulling you in for a passionate kiss. All the stress and frustration of pretending melts away as your lips meet.
You come up for air a few moments later, both flushed. “We should get back before someone notices we’re gone,” you murmur.
Lewis nods reluctantly. “See you after quali?”
“Definitely.” You give him one more quick peck then slip out of the room, back to the bustle of the paddock.
Lewis watches you leave, his heart full.
One day there will be no more hiding. One day you’ll be free to share your love with the world.
He just has to be patient. You’re worth the wait.
***
You’re sitting outside of Mercedes hospitality between practice sessions, chatting with Mick Schumacher. Mick is eagerly telling you about his experience getting to take the W15 out in FP1 that morning when Charles Leclerc wanders over.
“Hello Y/N, Mick,” Charles says with an easy smile.
“Oh hey Charles, what’s up?” You say casually, hoping he makes this quick. Ever since that silly press conference, Charles has been popping up everywhere trying to get your attention.
“Not much. You’re looking beautiful as always,” Charles says, ignoring Mick and focusing his gaze on you.
You resist the urge to roll your eyes. “Um, thanks?”
Mick glances between you two and starts to stand up. “I’ll give you guys some space.”
“No, stay!” You say quickly, grabbing Mick’s arm. You turn back to Charles. “Did you need something?”
“Just wanted to come say hi, see how you’re doing.” Charles drags over a chair and sits down close beside you. Too close.
You slide your chair away ever so slightly. “I’m fine, thanks. Just hanging with Mick.”
Charles nods, but his eyes stay fixed on you. “Have you given any more thought to grabbing dinner sometime? I know this great little restaurant in the city, very private and intimate.”
“That’s really nice of you, but I’ll have to pass,” you say politely. Mick looks back and forth between you two, a faint smirk on his face.
Charles pouts. “Come on, it would be fun! No pressure, just two friends enjoying a nice meal.”
You resist the urge to laugh. Does he really think you’re that naive? “Sorry Charles, but I’m going to be really busy this weekend. Raincheck?” You have no intention of ever taking him up on the offer, but maybe it will get him to back off for now.
“Playing hard to get? I like it,” Charles winks.
You bite your tongue to stop yourself from saying what you really think. Time for a subject change. “So, you feeling good about the race this weekend?”
Charles sighs, finally moving away from the topic of dating you. “I think the car has potential, but Red Bull are still the ones to beat.”
You nod. “Very true. They have been especially dominant here the past few years.”
“We’ll see what happens. Maybe I can get pole and shock them all,” Charles says with a smile.
You chat about racing for a few more minutes before glancing at your phone. “Oh shoot, I have to get going. Meeting with my manager.” You stand up quickly. “See you later Charles. Bye Mick!”
Charles grabs your hand as you start to walk away. “Leaving already? At least let me walk you to your garage.”
You pull your hand back, perhaps a bit too forcefully. “I’m fine, thanks. Stay and chat with Mick!” You give them a little wave before briskly walking off.
As you make your way through the paddock you hear footsteps behind you. Glancing back you see Charles jogging to catch up with you. You bite back a groan.
“Y/N, wait up!” Charles calls after you. He hurries to your side, slightly out of breath. “Sorry, I just thought I should properly apologize for being so forward back there. I don’t want you to feel pressured or uncomfortable.”
You stop walking and turn to face him. “It’s okay, Charles. I know you didn’t mean any harm.”
He looks relieved. “Good, I’m glad. The last thing I want is to upset you.” He shuffles his feet, looking down shyly. “I really do think you’re amazing, Y/N. Any guy would be so lucky to be with you.”
You soften a bit. As persistent as he is, you know Charles is a good guy at heart. “Thank you. I think you’ll find the right girl someday.”
“Well, I was rather hoping the right girl was standing in front of me now,” Charles says earnestly.
You shake your head. “Charles ...”
“I know, I’m being too bold again,” he says. “Please, just consider it? One dinner. If you hate it and never want to see me again, I’ll accept that.”
You hesitate. Maybe it would be easier to just go, let him down gently in person. But no … that’s too risky. If word got out it could compromise everything with Lewis. As much as you want to set Charles straight, you just have to keep playing hard to get.
“Like I said, just too busy right now,” you say firmly. “I should get to my meeting.”
Charles nods, looking slightly dejected. “Of course. Well, the offer stands. I’m not giving up that easily.” He smiles and heads off with a small wave.
Over the next two days Charles remains persistent, finding excuses to talk to you in the paddock and complimenting you endlessly on social media. You continue dodging his invitations, letting him down as gently as you can.
Sunday morning you’re doing a photoshoot for British Vogue, posing on the track. Charles happens to walk by as you’re finishing up. He saunters over and leans on the barrier, watching you intently. The photographer notices him hovering and suggests you take a quick picture together.
Charles immediately hops the barrier and throws an arm around your shoulder, pulling you in close. You plaster on a smile as the camera flashes.
“Beautiful! What an attractive couple,” the photographer gushes.
You extricate yourself from Charles’ grip. “We’re not … I mean we’re just friends,” you mutter.
“My mistake!” The photographer says. Charles just grins.
After the photoshoot ends you try to make a quick exit but Charles catches up and falls into step beside you.
“One picture together and we’re already mistaken for a couple! It must be a sign,” Charles says playfully.
You resist rolling your eyes again. “Clearly you’re not getting the message here. I’m not interested in anything beyond friendship.”
Charles just smiles wider. “Ah, but friendship is the basis for any lasting romance. I’m happy to start as friends and see where it goes.”
You stop walking and turn to him. Time for some straight talk. “Charles. Listen to me. I do not want to date you. At all. Please stop asking.”
Charles’ smile finally falters slightly. “I see. My apologies, I clearly misread the situation.”
You feel a twinge of guilt at his crestfallen face. “It’s alright. I know you didn’t mean any harm. Let’s just forget it and move on.”
Charles nods, looking thoughtful. For a moment you think maybe he’s finally going to back off. But after a pause he says, “Well, since romance is off the table for now, friendship it is.”
You stare at him in disbelief. Is this guy for real?
Oblivious to your incredulous expression, Charles just keeps talking. “The season’s almost over, but I look forward to seeing much more of you next year when Lewis is my new teammate.” He winks.
It takes you a second to process his words. When they sink in your eyes go wide. “Wait, Lewis is joining Ferrari next season?”
“Oh, has it not been announced yet?” Charles grins mischievously. “My mistake. Forget I said anything.”
You grab his arm. “Charles, tell me!”
He mimes zipping his lips.
You groan in frustration. “Ugh, fine. Keep your secret for now.” You’ll get the truth out of Lewis later.
Charles just smiles innocently. “See you around, friend.” He strolls off with a little wave, finally leaving you in peace.
You shake your head as you watch him go. Next year is sure to be interesting with Charles around. But you take comfort knowing that no matter what, you and Lewis can get through it together.
***
The 2025 season kicks off in Melbourne. You’re wandering the paddock under the bright Australian sun, dodging TV crews and trying not to get run over by the team scooters zipping every which way.
As you pass by the Ferrari garage you peek inside, spotting Lewis talking to some engineers. He glances up and meets your eye, giving you a subtle smile before returning to his conversation.
Your heart flutters at the sight of him. It’s been nonstop media obligations since arriving in Albert Park and you haven’t had a moment alone with Lewis yet. Between his big move to Ferrari and the speculation about your relationship, you’ve been the center of attention.
You linger nearby, hoping to snag a private moment with Lewis. As you hover just outside the garage you hear footsteps approaching. Glancing over you see Charles strolling up, looking effortlessly cool in his team kit.
“Well hello there,” Charles says with a grin. “Come to wish me luck before qualifying?”
You roll your eyes but can’t help smiling back. “You caught me. I snuck over to send positive vibes your way.”
Charles chuckles. “I knew you couldn’t resist coming to see me.”
You shake your head amusedly. Same old Charles. “Actually I was looking for Lew-” you stop yourself just in time. “Um, just wandering around saying hi to everyone!”
Charles’ eyes gleam knowingly but he doesn’t call you out on your near slip-up. “Of course. We’re happy to have Lewis join the Ferrari family. Should be a fun season.”
You nod. “Definitely. I might have to frequent the Ferrari garage more often,” you add teasingly.
“You’ll always be welcome here,” Charles says. “In fact, there’s an open seat on my side of the garage. You’re more than welcome to join.” He smiles invitingly.
You hesitate, tempted despite yourself. Before you can respond you hear Lewis calling Charles from inside the garage.
“Charles! The debrief is starting soon, let’s go.”
Charles turns back to you with an exaggerated sigh. “Duty calls. But think about my offer, yeah? Plenty of races left this season for you to cheer on your favorite driver.” He winks before jogging into the garage.
You catch Lewis’ eye as Charles brushes past him. Lewis gives you a questioning look, silently asking if you’re okay. You smile reassuringly before blowing him a subtle kiss and walking away.
Over the next few races you find yourself spending more time with Ferrari than you expected. You tell yourself it’s just to support Lewis in his first season with a new team, but a small voice in your head whispers that it’s really to see Charles.
Despite your better judgment, you can’t deny enjoying Charles’ flirty banter and shameless pursuit of you. And clearly he doesn’t intend to back down now that Lewis is his teammate. If anything, Charles seems more determined than ever to win your affection.
By the time the Chinese Grand Prix rolls around, you’re dangerously close to having a full blown crush on Charles. Sitting in the Ferrari garage watching him joke around with the mechanics, you have to refrain from staring at him too obviously.
After qualifying, you wait around hoping Lewis or Charles have time to sneak away for a bit. You spot Lewis first and flag him down. He follows you to a secluded spot behind the paddock.
“Great lap today,” you say, rising on tiptoes to kiss him congratulations.
Lewis smiles against your lips but you can tell his mind is elsewhere. “Thanks love. Listen, can we talk?”
You pull back, brow furrowing in concern. “Of course, what’s up?”
Lewis runs a hand over his face. “I wanted to ask how you’re feeling about this whole situation with Charles.”
You tense up slightly. “What do you mean?”
“I’ve seen the way he looks at you. And if I’m being honest … I’ve noticed some looks going the other direction as well.” Lewis keeps his voice neutral and non-accusatory.
You bite your lip. No point lying to him. “I’m sorry. I tried to ignore him at first but he’s just so charming and persistent. I swear nothing has happened between us though!” You add hastily.
Lewis rubs your shoulder reassuringly. “I believe you, don’t worry. But it seems there might be some mutual attraction there, even if you haven’t acted upon it. I think we should discuss that openly.”
You nod slowly. As nerve wracking as this conversation is, you appreciate Lewis’ calm approach. No jealousy or accusations, just honest communication.
“You’re right,” you say. “I’ve been trying really hard not to, but I can’t deny feeling drawn to Charles.” You look down, ashamed to admit it out loud.
Lewis lifts your chin gently. “Hey, it’s okay. Emotions aren’t always rational. I’m not upset with you.”
You smile gratefully. “You’re the best, you know that? What did I do to deserve someone so understanding?”
“Just got lucky I guess,” Lewis says with a wink, making you laugh. His expression turns serious again. “But we should figure out what to do moving forward. Any ideas?”
You take a deep breath. Time to put all cards on the table. “Well, there is one possibility. But it’s a bit unconventional ...”
Lewis raises his eyebrows. “I’m open to anything. What were you thinking?”
You rush out your words before you lose your nerve. “What if we brought Charles into the relationship? As in, invited him to be with us?”
Lewis’ eyes widen in surprise but he doesn’t immediately shoot down the suggestion. “You mean the three of us, together? Huh.”
He looks thoughtful. You fidget nervously awaiting his verdict. This could make or break everything.
Finally Lewis meets your anxious gaze. “I admit that’s not what I was envisioning … but I’m not opposed to at least exploring it.”
You breathe a sigh of relief. “Really? You’d be open to trying?”
Lewis nods slowly. “If we all discussed it openly and set clear boundaries, I would consider it. I want you to be happy, Y/N. Even if that means expanding our relationship.”
You throw your arms around him. “Thank you. You have no idea how much it means to have your support with this.”
Lewis hugs you tight. “Of course, love. We’re in this together.”
You chat excitedly about the possibility of bringing Charles into your private world. It’s risky, but maybe just crazy enough to work.
“Why don’t we invite him up to the penthouse tonight and see how the chemistry is?” Lewis suggests.
Your pulse quickens at the thought. “I think that’s a great idea.”
Lewis kisses you softly. “Alright then, it’s a date. I think you should go talk to Charles.”
Tonight will determine if you move forward as a trio or close the door on this tantalizing new dynamic. Either way, you’re grateful to be exploring it together with the man you love.
***
You smooth down your dress for the tenth time, nerves and excitement warring within you.
Tonight’s the night.
Taking a deep breath, you glance around the penthouse one more time. Candles cast a soft glow, music plays quietly in the background, and wine chills on the counter. Time to see if this fantasy can become a reality.
Lewis emerges from the bedroom looking unfairly hot, designer shirt hugging his muscular frame. He wraps you in his arms from behind, meeting your anxious gaze in the floor-length mirror.
“You ready for this, love?” He asks, lips brushing your neck.
You shiver and lean back into him. “I think so. Are you sure you’re okay with it though? We can call it off if you’ve changed your mind.”
Lewis smiles reassuringly. “I haven’t. We’ll take it slow and see how it feels. No pressure.”
You smile back gratefully. “Have I mentioned lately how amazing you are?”
“Mm, feel free to say it more,” Lewis teases, making you giggle. He kisses you tenderly. “Let’s do this.”
Right on cue, the doorbell rings. You and Lewis exchange one more weighted look before going to answer it.
You open the door to find Charles standing there, looking ridiculously handsome as always. His eyes widen almost comically as he sees Lewis over your shoulder.
“Lewis! What are you doing here?” Charles stammers out.
You bite your lip to hide a smile. “Why don’t you come in?”
Still looking baffled, Charles steps inside. You lead him to the sleek living room, Charles glancing around in confusion.
“Have a seat,” Lewis says kindly. Charles perches on the edge of the grey suede couch, visibly wondering what the hell is going on. You and Lewis sit across from him on the loveseat.
“So … is one of you going to explain what’s happening?” Charles asks slowly.
You look to Lewis. “Maybe you should start?”
Lewis nods and turns to Charles. “Right, so I’m sure you’re very confused about all this. But there’s something Y/N and I need to tell you.”
He reaches over and takes your hand. You give it a supportive squeeze.
“Y/N and I are together. Romantically,” Lewis reveals. “We’ve been dating in secret for over two years now.”
Charles’ eyes bug out of his head. “You two are … WHAT? Since when?”
“Since midway through the 2022 season,” you explain gently.
“But … but ...” Charles splutters. He looks between you and Lewis, dumbfounded. It would be comical if you weren’t so nervous.
“I know this must be shocking to hear,” you say. “We’ve had to keep it very quiet.”
Charles drags a hand through his hair. “I don’t understand. If you’re together, why am I here?”
You glance at Lewis. “Go on,” he says with an encouraging nod.
You turn back to Charles. “Well, the thing is … we’re very attracted to you too, Charles.”
Charles freezes, eyes zeroing in on you. “You … you are?” He whispers.
You nod, holding his gaze. “I tried to ignore it, but I have feelings for you. And Lewis and I have discussed exploring what it would be like if the three of us … were together.”
Charles just stares, mouth agape. You start to worry you’ve broken him.
“Charles?” You prompt gently. “Thoughts?”
Charles visibly shakes himself. “I just … I need a minute here,” he mutters. He puts his head in his hands, taking a few deep breaths.
You nod understandingly and fall silent, letting the information sink in. After a tense minute, Charles lifts his head.
“So you two want to try some kind of … polyamorous relationship? With me as your shared boyfriend?”
“Only if you’re interested,” Lewis clarifies. “We know it’s unconventional.”
Charles chews his lip thoughtfully. “And you would be okay sharing her?” He asks Lewis.
Lewis squeezes your hand. “It’s not about possessing her. It’s about all of us wanting to explore something together. I trust you both.”
Your heart swells with love for this incredible man. Charles looks touched as well.
“I appreciate you putting your trust in me,” Charles says earnestly. “This is a lot to process but … I’m open to trying.” He looks between you and Lewis. “I want this. If you’ll have me.”
Joy and arousal flood your body hearing those words. You glance at Lewis to confirm.
He smiles. “We want you, Charles.”
Charles’ eyes darken. He stands up from the couch and closes the distance between you. Gazing down at you, he brushes his fingers along your jaw. “Can I kiss you?” He asks softly.
You nod, heart hammering in your chest. Charles’ hand slides into your hair and he presses his lips to yours. The kiss is electric, your body lighting up everywhere you touch.
After a dizzying minute you break apart, flushed and breathless. Charles rests his forehead against yours, his eyes burning.
“I want you,” he whispers. “I want this.”
Your pulse racing, you turn and pull Lewis into a passionate kiss. You pour all your need and love into it, leaving no doubt that you want him just as much.
Lewis’ eyes are dark when you separate. Without a word, he stands and holds his hand out to Charles. Charles takes it immediately. They stare at each other for a weighted moment before Lewis reels him in for a searing kiss.
You can only watch, utterly mesmerized by the sight of the two gorgeous men exploring each other. They kiss aggressively, hands roaming over backs and arms. Finally they break apart, panting.
Charles turns to you, eyes blazing. In two strides he’s kneeling before you, hands on your thighs.
“Tell me you want this,” he rasps out. “I need to hear you say it.”
“I want this. I want this so much,” you affirm breathlessly.
Charles surges up to capture your lips again. Lewis moves behind you, peppering kisses down your neck and shoulders. Sandwiched between them, you’ve never felt more alive.
You have a fleeting thought that you should slow down, take things step by step. But as their hands and lips worship your body, reason melts away.
Tonight you’ll explore each other fully and forge this new bond that transcends convention. Tomorrow you can discuss logistics.
Charles kisses you hungrily while Lewis deftly unzips your dress, letting it slip to the floor. His hands glide over your newly exposed skin as Charles trails kisses down your neck to your lace-clad breasts.
Lewis reaches around to unclasp your bra, freeing your breasts to Charles’ eager mouth. You gasp and arch into his touch as his tongue swirls around one nipple, then the other.
Lewis captures your lips in a passionate kiss, swallowing your moans of pleasure. His hands roam your body, caressing your hips and rear before slipping into your panties. You keen against his mouth as his fingers find your slick heat.
Charles kisses his way down your trembling body until he’s kneeling before you. Locking eyes with you, he slowly peels off your panties. Lewis moves behind you, arms wrapped around you, hands still working their magic between your legs.
Charles parts your thighs and dives in hungrily. You cry out at the feeling of his mouth on you, the dual sensations pushing you quickly to the edge. Your pleasured screams echo through the penthouse as you come undone between these two incredible men.
They lay you gently on the plush rug, hands and mouths continuing to ignite fires across your hypersensitive skin. You reach for them frantically, needing to feel them too. Together you undress them with eager hands until all three of you are bare and flushed with need.
Lewis kisses his way down your body until his head is between your legs, stubble scratching deliciously against your inner thighs. His talented tongue gets to work, licking and sucking your sensitive bud as you grasp his braids, back arching off the rug.
Charles moves up your body to take a hard nipple in his mouth, fingers tweaking and plucking the other. The near-overstimulation makes you see stars, crying out louder as Lewis’ fingers join his mouth in driving you to euphoria.
As you come down from your high, panting and trembling, Charles captures your lips in a messy kiss. You taste yourself and your favorite body oil on his tongue as he grinds his hard length against your hip. Guiding him up further, you take him in your mouth eagerly, reveling in his groans of pleasure.
Lewis slides up behind you, hardness nudging your entrance. He pushes into you slowly, filling you up exquisitely. You moan around Charles in your mouth as Lewis sets a steady rhythm. Charles’ eyes are nearly black watching Lewis take you from behind.
Charles gently pulls out of your mouth, moving down to kiss Lewis passionately. Their tongues tangle as Lewis continues rocking into you. The erotic sight makes you clench around Lewis. Sensing you’re close, he reaches around to circle your clit until you shatter again.
As you float back down, Lewis slips out from behind you and lays on his back. You straddle him eagerly, taking him back inside your slick heat. Charles moves in behind you, grasping your hips. Feeling his tip brush your back entrance, you glance back and nod consent.
Charles pushes into your other hole slowly as Lewis praises you for taking them both so well. Sandwiched between their hard bodies, filled so exquisitely, you feel worshipped and desired. They find a synchronized rhythm, driving you higher until you’re screaming out your pleasure again.
Lewis follows you over the edge, your pulsing muscles milking him dry with a growl. Charles takes over, pounding into you relentlessly until he stills, spilling deep inside with a choked cry.
You collapse together in a satisfied, breathless tangle of limbs. Trading soft kisses and caresses, you bask in the afterglow of this new bond forged in passion. Staring into your boys’ sated eyes, you know you’ve found something extraordinary.
For now, you are content to let passion consume you, losing yourself in two sets of hands, two mouths worshipping every inch of you.
Tomorrow can wait. Tonight, your world has expanded to make room for three.
***
The new season is in full swing and your blossoming relationship could not be going better. Stealing moments alone is a challenge, but the time you spend together makes it all worthwhile.
The only downside is how difficult it is for Charles to hide his feelings for you in public. While Lewis has had practice concealing your relationship for years now, Charles is still learning restraint. His affection for you shines through in lingering looks and subtle touches that don’t go unnoticed.
During one pre-race press conference, things come to a head. You’re standing just off stage, watching proudly as Charles and Lewis field questions.
A reporter looks over at Charles. “Charles, we’ve noticed Y/N hanging around the Ferrari garage a lot this season. Any insight into why the daughter of the Mercedes team principal spends so much time with your team instead?”
Charles tenses, panic flashing across his face. Before he can respond, Pierre Gasly pipes up from the end of the table.
“She’s always welcome to spend time with Alpine too!” Pierre says with a playful wink your direction. “Our garage door is open for you anytime, chérie.”
Charles’ hand clenches into a fist under the table. You can see him biting his tongue, holding back from saying that you’re taken.
Lewis discretely reaches over and lays a calming hand on Charles’ arm. Charles takes a deep breath, the brief touch grounding him.
“Y/N is friends with many drivers, not just myself,” Charles says evenly. “She offers encouragement to everyone on the grid.”
You let out the breath you’d been holding. Crisis averted, for now. But the reporters look unsatisfied with Charles’ generic response.
One speaks up again. “Come on Charles, you two seem especially close lately. Anything you want to tell us about the nature of your relationship?”
Charles’ eyes flick towards you. He opens his mouth but hesitates.
Lewis jumps in. “Like Charles said, Y/N is a supportive friend to all the drivers. We’re lucky to have her around.” He steers the conversation to less dangerous waters and the questions about you cease.
After the press conference, Charles makes a beeline for you. Taking your hands, he searches your face anxiously.
“I’m so sorry. I nearly slipped up and exposed everything. I just couldn’t stand Pierre flirting with you like that.”
You smile reassuringly, touched by his protectiveness. “It’s okay, you stopped yourself in time. I know it’s not easy.”
Lewis joins you two in your hidden corner. He squeezes Charles’ shoulder comfortingly. “You handled it well, babe. I know firsthand how hard it is to stay silent.”
Charles sighs. “I don’t know how you’ve done this for so long. Lying about the woman I lo-” He stops himself. “About someone so important is torture.”
Your heart skips a beat. Lewis meets your gaze, equally affected by Charles’ unspoken words.
Taking Charles’ face in your hands, you kiss him sweetly. “I’m so lucky to have not just one, but two incredible men willing to go through all this for my sake. I promise, it won’t be forever.”
Charles relaxes into your touch. Lewis moves behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and kissing the top of your head. Charles covers Lewis’ hands with his own. The three of you share a quiet, tender moment before stepping back out into the bustle of race day.
That evening after the race, the three of you finally have time alone back at the hotel. Lewis pours champagne while you massage the tension from Charles’ shoulders.
“What Pierre said today was out of line,” you murmur. “But you have nothing to worry about. I’m all yours, in every way that matters.” You press a kiss to his neck.
Charles twists to capture your lips. “I know. It just drives me crazy seeing other men try to take what’s mine.” His tone is playful yet possessive in a way that makes you shiver.
“Let them flirt all they want,” Lewis says, handing Charles a glass of champagne. “She only has eyes for us.”
You and Charles both smile at Lewis’ quiet confidence. Taking your glass, you raise it in a toast. “To the apples of my eye. Here’s to a long future together.”
You clink glasses and sip, eyes locking over the rims. Setting your glass aside, you take each of their hands in yours.
“I know keeping this secret isn’t easy. But it will be so worth it in the end, when we can stop hiding and be together openly. We just have to be patient a little longer.”
Lewis squeezes your hand, emotion shining in his eyes. “You’re worth the wait, darling.”
Charles cradles your face adoringly. “A thousand times over.”
Your heart swells being surrounded by such unwavering love and support. Despite the challenges, in this moment, everything feels exactly as it should.
The rest of the night is spent getting lost in each other, reaffirming the bonds between you. Fingers intertwined, bodies moving as one, you bask in the oasis you’ve created amidst the pressures of your public lives.
Tomorrow you’ll go back to pretending, dodging prying questions and curious stares. But here, cocooned in this hotel room, you’re simply three people entwined by love. Partners promising without words to stand united until the day your relationship can step into the light.
For now, secrecy is a small price to pay for a love unlike any other.
***
The azure waters of the Mediterranean glisten under the Sardinian sun as you lounge on the deck of the yacht. Lewis rubs sunscreen slowly over your shoulders, his touch sending tingles through your body.
Charles emerges from the water, rivulets streaming down his toned chest. He joins you on the loungers, shaking his wet hair playfully over you and Lewis. You squeal and swat him away, laughing.
These past two weeks sailing around Sardinia have been pure bliss. Finally you can be as affectionate as you want, stealing kisses and cuddling close without worrying who might see. You’ve explored every inch of this yacht and each other’s bodies. After keeping your relationship under wraps, it’s glorious being so free.
“I wish we could stay here forever,” you sigh contentedly.
“Soon, love,” Lewis says, pulling you close. “Just have to get through this season.”
Charles nods, trailing his fingers down your arm. “It will all be worth it in the end.”
You smile softly at them both, heart swelling with love. “You’re right. As long as we’re together.”
You while away the rest of the afternoon trading lazy kisses and caresses, basking in the sun and each other.
That night, fireworks burst bright over the inky sea. You tilt your head back against Charles’ chest, watching the rainbow sparks. Lewis nuzzles your neck from behind, arms wrapped around your waist.
“I love you both,” you whisper as gold and purple light up the sky. Charles kisses your temple while Lewis squeezes you gently. You’ve never felt so full of love and joy.
Then, you all fly to Lewis’ villa in Brazil for the rest of summer break. The days pass in a carefree blur — lounging by the pool, sunset walks on the beach, and passion-filled nights tangled together in bed.
Charles cooks dinner shirtless one evening, playfully feeding you and Lewis bites as you sip wine. Lewis pulls you into an impromptu dance around the kitchen, the three of you laughing breathlessly.
“If only this could never end,” you say wistfully, pulling them in for a group hug.
“One day, baby,” Lewis murmurs, kissing your hair. Charles rubs your back, gazing at you tenderly.
You etch every moment into your memory, from languid mornings waking up between them to romantic picnics at sunset on the beach.
If only you could freeze time and stay in this private paradise.
But of course, time marches on. Before you know it, the break ends and you’re headed to the Netherlands for the start of the second half of the season.
Walking through Zandvoort a friendly distance from Charles and Lewis, everything feels different now. You have to stop yourself from being too openly affectionate, hyperaware of prying eyes.
Lewis senses your tension. “Soon this will all be out in the open,” he reminds you softly. The secret aspect still weighs on you all, but the promise of a future without hiding lifts your spirits.
On Thursday, just a few days before the race, you’re leaving the motorhome when your phone explodes with notifications. With a sinking sense of dread, you open social media to see leaked paparazzi shots plastered everywhere — the three of you kissing on the yacht, Lewis’ hands blatantly grabbing your rear in Brazil, you and Charles making out poolside.
You stagger back against the wall, blood rushing in your ears. This is a nightmare. Your private oasis shattered, your relationship outed in the most public, scandalous way possible.
Charles exits behind you and his face pales seeing your expression. Lewis comes around the corner a second later and you wordlessly show him your phone screen.
“Fuck,” Lewis swears. “Where did these come from?”
“I don’t know, they’re everywhere,” you say shakily.
Charles peers over your shoulder, jaw clenched. “We’ll figure it out later. Right now we need to get you out of here.”
You’re confused only for a second before you hear the swell of voices and footsteps rapidly approaching. Security won’t hold the media mob back for long.
Charles and Lewis spring into action, flanking you protectively as you hurry back towards the entrance. Halfway there, the dam breaks as reporters and cameras flood the paddock. You freeze like a deer in headlights.
Chaos erupts, cameras flashing, mics shoved in your faces, everyone shouting questions at once. Charles and Lewis shield you from the onslaught, yelling for security. Two guards appear and help navigate you through the frenzy back into the Ferrari motorhome.
You collapse on the sofa, heart pounding. Lewis paces angrily while Charles punches the wall. “Fuck! We were so careful,” he rages.
You blink back panicked tears. “What do we do now?”
Lewis sits and pulls you into his arms. “We face it head on. No more hiding. We own this together.”
Charles kneels before you, clasping your hands. “I’m with you no matter what. We’ll get through this.”
You cling to them, anchoring yourself. As long as you have each other, you can survive the storm.
You’ve just managed to catch your breath when the door flies open. Your head whips up to see none other than your father storming in, fury etched on his face.
“What the HELL is going on here?” He thunders.
You shrink back against Lewis. This is already a disaster — but your enraged, overprotective father finding out like this? You brace yourself as his glare pins you in place, demanding an explanation.
Toto slams the door behind him, eyes blazing like you’ve never seen before.
“Would someone like to explain what the hell is going on?” He shouts. “Because I leave for a few weeks and suddenly my daughter is splashed all over the tabloids in compromising photos with her secret boyfriends!”
You shrink back against Lewis, tears pooling in your eyes. He wraps a protective arm around you.
“Toto, let’s all just take a breath and talk about this,” Lewis says calmly.
“Don’t you dare tell me to calm down!” Toto snarls, pointing a finger at Lewis. “You are supposed to be teammates and instead you’re … you’re ...” He splutters, at a loss for words.
“We’re in a relationship,” Charles says firmly, taking your hand. “The three of us.”
“A relationship?” Toto looks apoplectic. “She is my daughter!”
“Who makes her own choices,” Charles shoots back. “She’s an adult.”
Toto ignores him, glaring at Lewis and you. “I trusted you with her. And this is how you repay that trust?”
Lewis squeezes your shoulder gently before standing up to face Toto. “I understand you’re upset. But our relationship isn’t about you.”
“The hell it isn’t!” Toto shouts. “I am her father!”
“Stop yelling at them!” You cry out, tears spilling down your cheeks.
Toto falters slightly seeing your distress. Charles pulls you into his arms, stroking your hair and glaring at Toto.
“Can’t you see you’re upsetting her?” Charles snaps. “She doesn’t owe you an explanation.”
Toto looks back and forth between the three of you, anger warring with confusion. Lewis takes a cautious step toward him.
“I know this is a shock,” Lewis says evenly. “But we didn’t intend for it to come out like this.”
He gestures for Toto to have a seat. After a tense moment Toto sinks into the armchair, face still thunderous. Lewis sits back down beside you.
“Help me understand this,” Toto says tightly. “Clearly this … arrangement has been going on behind my back for some time.”
You take a shaky breath. “We’ve been together since the start of the season. I’m sorry we didn’t tell you, but we knew you would react badly.”
Toto drags a hand down his face. “You cannot expect me to be happy about this. My daughter dating two men at once? One of whom used to be my employee?”
“We don’t need your approval,” Charles says firmly. “All that matters is that we love each other. Right?”
He looks at you and Lewis. You both nod, Lewis taking your hand supportively.
“She’s right,” Lewis tells Toto. “We don’t need your blessing. But we want you to understand this is real, not just some fling or scandal.”
You look pleadingly at your father. “Please Vati, try to understand. I’ve never been happier than with these two.”
Toto stares back stonily. The silence stretches on. You feel Charles and Lewis tense on either side of you, bracing for Toto’s wrath.
Finally Toto sighs, dragging a hand over his face. “You’ve always been my sweet girl. My only wish is for your happiness and safety.”
He levels Charles and Lewis with a piercing look. “If either of you two hurts her, they’ll never find your bodies. Understand?”
Charles and Lewis both nod rapidly.
“We would never,” Lewis vows.
“Good. See that you don’t.” Toto turns back to you, expression softening. “This will take some adjustment. But I suppose if you’re happy ...”
“I am, I promise,” you assure him.
Toto shakes his head. “Well, try to keep the sordid details to yourself please.”
You huff out a wet laugh, wiping your eyes. “Deal.”
Toto nods stiffly and stands. Looking between the three of you, his face settles into resignation.
“I will do my best to … adjust to this,” he mutters. “But no funny business at the track!”
He points sternly at Charles and Lewis again. They both work to keep straight faces.
“Of course, totally professional at all times,” Lewis promises solemnly.
“Hmm. We’ll see.” Toto heads for the door. With his hand on the handle, he turns back.
“You’re still my little girl. I just want you safe and happy.”
You smile tearfully. “I know. Thank you.”
With a grunt and final glare at Charles and Lewis, Toto takes his leave.
The moment the door shuts, you collapse into their arms in relief. Laughing and crying all at once.
“That could have gone worse,” Charles remarks.
Lewis chuckles. “He only threatened us a little bit.”
You kiss them softly. “I can’t believe you stood up to him for me.”
Charles caresses your face. “Always.”
“We meant what we said — we’re in this together, no matter what,” Lewis affirms.
You cling to each other, coming down from the emotional rollercoaster. The worst is over. Your relationship is out in the open now. The media will have a field day, but you can weather any storm with your men by your side.
“So ...” you say with a watery laugh. “Who wants to handle the press release?”
***
The news of your relationship with Lewis and Charles has sent shockwaves through the paddock. You knew it would be a scandal, but the sheer scale of the reaction has been overwhelming.
Thankfully you’ve had each other to cling to through the firestorm. Their love and support keeps you strong in the face of snarling reporters and leering drivers.
In the Ferrari garage a few days later, Lewis has his arms wrapped around you, placing gentle kisses to your hair as you discuss weekend plans. Charles is in the engineering room, focused on prep for the upcoming race.
The two of you are in your own world together when Lando sheepishly approaches. "Hey mates, can I talk to you both for a sec?"
You tense instinctively and Lewis’ arm tightens around you protectively. But Lando’s face is regretful, not leering. “What’s up?” Lewis asks calmly.
Lando shuffles his feet. “I just wanted to apologize for all the times I hit on Y/N and crossed the line. I feel proper ashamed about it now that I know she was with you two. You deserve better from a friend.”
You and Lewis share a surprised look. Before you can respond, Pierre joins Lando, gazing at you repentantly.
“I want to also apologize,” Pierre says. “It was wrong of me to overstep boundaries and disrespect your relationship. I’m sorry.”
You bite your tongue, holding back what you really want to say. As usual, they’re ignoring you and directing apologies to Lewis instead.
Sensing your reaction, Lewis speaks up. “We appreciate you owning up to it, but I think Y/N deserves your apologies more. She’s the one you objectified and disrespected with the unwanted advances, after all.”
Lando and Pierre have the decency to look abashed. “You’re completely right, that was thoughtless of me,” Lando says. “I’m truly sorry for ever making you feel uncomfortable or pressured, Y/N. It won’t happen again.”
Pierre nods. “Please accept my sincere apologies as well. I should have been more considerate of your feelings and respected your privacy.”
You give them a stiff smile. “Thank you. Just please think about how your words and actions affect women as fellow human beings, not just as conquests or property.”
Lando and Pierre both nod earnestly before excusing themselves. As they walk away Lewis kisses your temple. “Well handled, love. How are you feeling?”
You sigh heavily. “I appreciate the apologies, but it still stings that they only considered your feelings initially, not mine.”
Lewis makes a sympathetic noise and hugs you close. “You deserve so much more respect. I’m sorry this has all been so ugly.”
You cling to him, drawing strength from his unwavering support. “As long as I have you and Charles, I can face anything.”
Lewis is about to reply when footsteps approach again. You tense, but it’s only Charles this time. His smile fades seeing your expression.
“Everything okay here?” He asks, wrapping an arm around your waist.
You explain what just happened with Lando and Pierre. Charles’ eyes flash. “They are lucky I wasn’t here. I would have had a thing or two to say about them disrespecting you like that.”
You smile softly, touched by his protectiveness. “My heroes. However would I cope without you two defending my honor?”
Lewis tickles your side playfully. “We have to protect our lady’s virtue!”
You swat him away, laughing. Charles kisses the top of your head. “Joking aside, you never have to tolerate that behavior again. Not with us here.”
“I know,” you reply, snuggling into them happily. "My gallant protectors."
***
“Home sweet home,” you declare as the car pulls up the long driveway to your family’s sprawling Swiss estate.
Lewis lets out an impressed whistle from the backseat. “This is incredible!”
“Just wait until you see inside,” you grin at him in the rearview mirror.
You had kept putting off bringing Lewis and Charles here but it was finally time for them to see where you grew up.
They grab your bags as you lead them inside the grand foyer with its sweeping marble staircase. Lewis and Charles gaze around, taking in the ornate moldings and priceless artwork adorning the walls.
“I know it’s a bit ... much,” you say self-consciously.
“Are you kidding? This place is amazing!” Lewis crows, his voice echoing off the high ceilings.
You give them a brief tour of the endless sitting rooms, home theater, indoor pool, and your father’s meticulously organized garage housing his impressive car collection.
Finally you bring them upstairs to the family bedrooms. With a deep breath, you push open the door to your childhood room.
Lewis and Charles follow you in, peering around with interest at the spacious suite with its canopy bed, plush seating area, and panoramic mountain views.
You watch nervously as Lewis wanders over to your bookshelf and Charles admires the view from the French doors. Waiting for their judgment, you feel self-conscious about your privileged upbringing.
Suddenly Charles points to your wall and turns to you with a grin. “Well well, what do we have here?”
You follow his gaze to the life-size posters still occupying prime real estate on your wall, relics from your starry-eyed teen years. A young Lewis from his early Mercedes days gazes broodingly down, next to a smirking teenage Charles in his Prema race suit from back in F2.
“Oh god, I can’t believe I forgot those were there!” You groan, covering your rapidly reddening face.
Lewis chuckles, coming over to wrap you in a hug. “Aww, someone had a little crush, did they?” He teases.
“It was years ago!” You protest through your fingers.
Charles pries your hands away, smiling affectionately. “It’s cute you were our fan. Never be embarrassed for having good taste in drivers,” he winks.
Lewis kisses the top of your head. “Don’t worry love, we won’t give you too hard a time about it,” he says magnanimously.
You snuggle into his embrace. “How lucky am I to have manifested my crushes into reality?”
“The lucky ones are us,” Charles murmurs, stroking your hair and kissing you tenderly.
Lewis tips your chin up to meet his lips in a deep, passionate kiss. You cling to each other, the outside world fading away.
Eventually you lead them hand-in-hand to your massive bedroom balcony overlooking the mountains. The summer air is fragrant with the smell of wildflowers.
Settled together on the cushions, you snuggle between Lewis and Charles as they take in the stunning panoramic views.
“It’s so beautiful and peaceful here,” Lewis sighs contentedly. “Thank you for bringing us with you.”
You squeeze his hand. “Thank you for wanting to know every part of me.”
Charles wraps an arm around you, meeting your eyes sincerely. “Of course we do. Your soul is what we fell in love with first and foremost.”
You have to blink back tears at his words. Being with them has taught you that real love runs far deeper than surface trappings.
Overwhelmed with emotion, you pull them close, kissing each with all the love and gratitude overflowing inside you.
As the sun dips behind the mountains, setting the sky ablaze in stunning hues of orange and purple, you curl up safely between the two men who see, know, and love the real you. The only home you’ll ever need.
***
The warmly lit dining room of your family estate is filled with the clink of silverware and hum of conversation as you share an intimate dinner with your father, stepmother Susie, younger brother Jack, and your loves.
Despite your anxiety, the evening has gone smoothly so far. Toto seems impressed with Lewis and Charles’ maturity and devotion to you. Susie dotes on them like a surrogate mother. Only Jack seems bored, pushing food around his plate.
During a lull in the conversation, Toto turns to Lewis. “It’s remarkable what you are accomplishing at Ferrari this season. Good to see you on top of the podium again.”
Lewis smiles. “Thank you, Toto. It’s been incredible.”
“Still, I was surprised when you first told me you were leaving Mercedes,” Toto remarks. “I didn’t fully understand what prompted such a sudden departure.”
He levels Lewis with a probing gaze. You freeze nervously, grasping Charles and Lewis’ hands under the table. You’ve managed to avoid telling your father the real reason for Lewis’ change in teams. But it seems that reckoning has arrived.
Lewis meets Toto’s scrutinizing look evenly. “Well, as you know, Mercedes has strict rules against relationships within the team. It began impeding my personal happiness. So I sought more freedom elsewhere.”
Toto’s eyes narrow, glancing between the three of you. “And when exactly did this personal happiness begin?”
You hold your breath. Lewis says simply, “During my third to last season with the team.”
There’s a long, fraught silence. Jack glances around confused while Susie presses her napkin to her lips, no doubt hiding a small smile. She’s always been your most enthusiastic supporter.
Toto’s face slowly turns an alarming shade of eggplant purple. He points an accusatory finger at Lewis. “You! You were already involved with my daughter during your Mercedes contract?”
Lewis nods calmly. “We couldn’t be public about it then. Your rules left us no choice but secrecy.”
Toto turns his glare on you. “So while I was managing Lewis’ negotiations, you were ... were ...” He seems unable to form the words.
You lift your chin. “Yes, Vati. We’ve been together since mid-2022. I’m sorry we couldn’t be honest about it at the time.”
Toto looks back and forth between you and Lewis, jaw clenched. The whole table is frozen, awaiting the eruption.
Finally Toto thrusts his chair back and begins pacing angrily. “This whole time ... right under my nose! With my star driver, in clear violation of team rules and ethics!”
He rounds on Lewis. “I treated you like family! Supported your career, fought for your contracts. And you betrayed me by sneaking around with my daughter behind my back!”
Lewis faces Toto’s tirade calmly. “I apologize for any perceived deception. But we couldn’t deny our hearts.”
He takes your hand, gazing at you adoringly. Charles clutches your other in solidarity.
Toto drags a hand down his face. “Unbelievable. I thought I knew you, Hamilton.”
Finally you can't stay quiet any longer. “Vati, stop,” you implore. “I know you’re upset, but don’t blame Lewis. We fell in love, simple as that.”
Toto sighs, looking between your determined face and Lewis’ sincerity. His anger slowly deflates.
“Bärchen, you will always be my little girl,” he says gruffly. “I just want to protect you.”
He turns back to Lewis and Charles. “But I can see you both genuinely care for her. That’s all that matters in the end.”
You smile hopefully. “So you’re okay with this?”
Toto holds up a hand. “Let’s not get carried away. I am still adjusting to the idea.” He narrows his eyes at Lewis and Charles. “No messing about, you hear me? My girl deserves the utmost love and respect.”
“Of course,” Lewis says seriously as Charles nods in agreement.
“Good. See that it stays that way.” Toto sits back down with a huff. An awkward beat passes before conversation resumes again.
Later, as you all say goodnight, Toto pulls you into a hug. “They really make you happy, hmm?”
You nod, eyes shining. “Beyond words.”
Toto pats your cheek affectionately. “Well then, I suppose that’s what matters.”
You kiss his cheek in gratitude. No matter how overprotective your father can be, you know he just wants you safe and loved. With Lewis and Charles by your side, you always will be.
***
Seven Years Later
The Ferrari garage is buzzing with activity as race day gets underway at the Italian Grand Prix. You stand with Lewis among the controlled chaos, keeping one eye on your enthusiastic children weaving through the mechanics’ legs.
“Be careful, Lou!” You call out as your daring five-year-old Louis takes a corner a little too sharply, his Ferrari cap nearly sliding off his wild wavy hair.
Lewis shakes his head in amusement. “He’s as spirited as his Papa.”
You grin proudly at your son, the spitting image of Charles, as he zooms around mimicking pit stops. Your little three-year-old Helene clings shyly to her daddy’s leg, peering up at the action with wide brown eyes that are the mirror image of Lewis’ own.
Charles emerges from the engineering briefing and makes a beeline for you. Sweeping you into his arms, he greets you with a passionate kiss. After over seven years together, the sparks between you still ignite instantly.
Pulling back, Charles grins at your slightly disheveled state. “Hello to you too,” you laugh breathlessly.
He winks before turning to give Lewis a tender kiss. Your unconventional family drew some skepticism at first, but your extraordinary love has proven unshakeable.
The kids chorus “Papa!” and attack Charles’ legs. Laughing, he scoops them both up, kissing their heads. “Are you ready to cheer for me, my little racers?”
Their enthusiastic cheers draw amused glances from the team. You soak it all in — your little family, together forever.
Charles reluctantly sets the kids down to focus on pre-race prep. You feel a phantom flutter in your belly, though you know it’s still too early for it to be real. Grasping Lewis’ hand, you share a private smile. Baby number three is on the way.
The race begins in a blur of excitement. Charles aces the start, quickly pulling into the lead. Louis abandons all decorum and just starts screaming “Go Papa!” at the top of his lungs. Chuckling, you and Lewis take turns occupying your hyperactive son so as not to distract the crew. Shy little Helene contents herself hugging a Ferrari-themed teddy bear, peering intently at the screens showing her Papa as he speeds around the Autodromo Nazionale Monza.
The laps tick by, Charles fending off the competition masterfully. As he crosses the finish line to claim victory on home soil, Louis and Helene are jumping and cheering loudly. The passion for racing already runs strong.
Back out in the paddock after the podium celebration, you and Lewis balance the kids on your hips as reporters head straight for the two of you. The questions are familiar after years in the spotlight.
“Lewis, what’s it like spending almost every weekend at the track despite your retirement five years ago?”
“I love it,” Lewis smiles, bouncing a giggling Helene. “Getting to support my husband and spend time with my family, it’s very fulfilling.”
“And Y/N, how do you manage the kids and your husband’s demanding career?”
You grin. “We make it work. We’re so proud of Charles and feel lucky to be by his side through it all.”
On cue, Helene pipes up “Papa is the best racer!”
The reporters chuckle. One asks, “How do you feel seeing Charles continue to build his legacy with Ferrari?”
“I couldn’t be prouder,” Lewis says, genuine emotion in his eyes. “He’s taken the team to new heights and really made his mark. Seeing him succeed means the world.”
Louis suddenly grabs the mic, yelling “Are we done yet?” You have to stifle your laugh.
“I think that’s our cue to wrap up,” you grin sheepishly, gathering the rambunctious children in your arms. Blowing kisses to the laughing media, you make your exit.
Back in the privacy of the motorhome, your unconventional but beautiful family shares celebratory hugs and kisses. Charles rests his hand gently on your belly, his face lighting up when you confirm the news.
“Baby number three on the way!” Lewis crows, sweeping you into an excited embrace.
Louis and Helene cheer, demanding another sibling immediately. You laugh giddily, leaning into Charles and gazing at the pure joy on your husbands’ faces. Your hearts swell with love.
This life you’ve built together has faced skepticism, but your extraordinary bond conquers all. Gazing into their eyes, you know without a doubt you were destined for each other. Hand in hand, side by side, forevermore.
***
18 Months Later
You finish strapping a squirming Cosette into her car seat, smoothing down her hair that is the spitting image of your own. “There we go, my little princess. Time to go see Opa Toto!”
Cosette babbles happily, waving her chubby fists. At just over a year old, she is the perfect blend of you and Charles, with your lips and nose and his vibrant green eyes.
Louis and Helene are already buckled into the backseat, their patience for the short drive to your father’s house wearing thin. “Hurry up!” Louis cries. “I want to show Opa my new race car!”
“We’re coming, hold your horses,” you laugh, sliding into the passenger seat beside Charles. Lewis is meeting you there after stopping at home to grab a few extra toys and changes of clothes for the kids’ overnight stay.
During the short drive, Charles keeps resting his hand on your thigh, his thumb rubbing distracting circles. You try your best to keep your breathing even. After all these years together, just the slightest touch from your husbands can still ignite that spark instantly.
You pull up the long driveway to find Lewis’ car already parked outside the stately lakefront home you grew up spending summers in. Before you can even unbuckle, the front door swings open and Toto comes striding out, arms open wide.
“My lieblinge!” He booms as Louis and Helene barrel into his embrace.
You lift Cosette from her carseat and Toto takes her gently, eyes crinkling with delight. “And there’s my littlest liebling,” he coos, nuzzling her soft curls.
Lewis joins you all outside, greeting Toto with a warm hug. “Thanks again for watching the kids tonight, Toto. We really appreciate it.”
“Of course, of course! They’re my grandbabies, it’s my honor,” Toto declares, ushering everyone inside.
Soon the kids are happily playing on the living room floor as you and Susie chat over tea. Lewis joins Toto out on the back patio, no doubt talking about the current state of the team as always. Charles wanders in from the kitchen and comes up behind you, massaging the knots from your shoulders in that way he knows you love. You have to bite back a moan, not wanting to scar your family. Susie just smiles knowingly into her tea cup.
Too soon it’s time to head out for your rare adults-only evening. You pry Louis away from showing Toto his toy car collection and scoop up a sleepy Cosette. Helene hugs you tightly around the legs.
“We’ll be back to get you tomorrow, sweetheart,” you assure her, kissing the top of her head.
Lewis takes his turn hugging the kids while Charles checks his watch. “Reservations are in 30 minutes, we should get going soon.”
You pass a sleepy Cosette to Toto and he cradles her gently. “We’ll hold down the fort, you three go and have an enjoyable evening.” He gives Lewis and Charles a stern look. “But not too enjoyable, hmm? Keep it respectable.”
Lewis just grins as Charles steps up and claps Toto on the back. “Oh don’t worry, we’ll be very respectable. Just having a nice dinner while we discuss when to start working on baby number four.” He winks cheekily at Toto while you and Lewis have to stifle your laughter at the mortified look on your father’s face.
Charles dodges Toto’s half-hearted swat and pulls you and Lewis in close. “Come on, our romantic evening awaits.”
You bid one more goodnight to the kids before letting Charles usher you out the door, his hand resting possessively on your lower back. The drive to the restaurant passes enjoyably, laughter and teasing flowing freely. For one night, you have the rare opportunity to just be yourselves, simply three lovers.
At the upscale restaurant, you’re shown to a cozy corner table lit by flickering candles. Charles orders an expensive bottle of wine while you and Lewis peruse the menu. His foot trails slowly up your leg under the tablecloth and you have to resist the urge to jump him then and there. After years together the flames still burn hot, stealing passionate moments whenever you can.
Dinner passes enjoyably, full of laughter and flirty touches. Afterwards you stroll hand-in-hand along the lakefront, the starry sky reflected on the rippling water. Lewis pulls you into a dance right there on the path, the three of you swaying and giggling drunkenly together. Passersby stare but you’re oblivious, caught up in your own private world.
Eventually you make your tipsy way back home, shedding clothes on your way up to the master bedroom. They lay you down reverently in the middle of the expansive bed, hands and mouths immediately reacquainting themselves with every familiar curve and hollow of your body. Soon you’re panting and writhing between them, their dual caresses pushing you rapidly towards euphoria.
“Need you ... both ... now,” you manage to gasp out. Without hesitation Charles is kissing you hungrily while Lewis repositions himself behind you. You cry out as they join your bodies seamlessly, swiftly bringing you to the peak again and again. Their stamina and synchronicity even after all these years together never fails to leave you awestruck.
Much later, sated and pleasantly sore, you rest comfortably sandwiched between your husbands. Their hands caress you languidly as you all come down from your highs together.
“We certainly made the most of our kid-free night,” Lewis chuckles, dropping a kiss to your shoulder.
You hum contentedly. “It was heavenly. But I can’t wait to get our babies back tomorrow.”
“Me too,” Charles agrees, trailing his fingers down your arm. “Our family is everything to me.”
You smile softly at him, heart swelling. “Our lives turned out pretty perfectly, didn’t they?”
Lewis nods, his eyes drifting around the bedroom that over the years has become a shrine to your shared journey — photos of race wins, kids’ drawings, and candid shots of your unlikely love filling every surface.
“Beyond anything I could have dreamed,” he murmurs. “Being with you both, raising our babies together ... it’s more than I ever imagined was possible.”
Charles kisses you tenderly. “We’re so lucky to have this extraordinary love.”
You cling tighter to them, emotion welling in your chest. “Every day I’m grateful we followed our hearts and created this life together.”
They hum contentedly, holding you close between their warm, solid bodies. No more words need be said. After so many years, your souls are intertwined seamlessly by the incredible bonds of your love.
Come what may, you know without a doubt that you were destined for each other. And you would choose this unconventional but beautiful life with them every single time.
#f1 imagine#f1#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#f1 fanfiction#f1 x reader#f1 x you#charles leclerc#lewis hamilton#charles leclerc imagine#lewis hamilton imagine#charles leclerc x reader#lewis hamilton x reader#charles leclerc fanfic#lewis hamilton fanfic#charles leclerc blurb#lewis hamilton blurb#f1 fluff#f1 blurb#f1 one shot#f1 x y/n#f1 drabble#f1 fandom#f1blr#f1 x female reader#charles leclerc x you#lewis hamilton x you#charles leclerc fluff#lewis hamilton fluff
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Mounting Spring Ch. 1.
Summary: Paradis has opened its doors to the world, and the Rumbling has not yet occurred. The military board insists, "We need more Ackermans!" to avoid ruining Mikasa's life. Levi agrees. Arranged marriage, explicit consent, Omegaverse. Alpha! Levi x Omega! Y/N. Mentions of underage marriage but it doesn't happen, the reader is over 21. Age gap but they are both adults. (I would say enemys to lover but they don't even know eachother to be enemys lol.) Author note: I've had this idea for so long… Omegaverse is my guilty pleasure, and I decided to treat myself with it. From the creator of "Not in season?" I bring to you "Mounting Spring" lmao haha sorry it's just that my first omegaverse was rather a success… so I decided to do another.
MASTERLIST TO ALL THE OTHER PARTS.
Link to AO3 in case you prefer to read it there.
The papers were passed around the Military board members, each set handed off in tense silence. The room’s air had cooled quickly as the sun dipped below the horizon, making Levi’s coat, almost too heavy to bear earlier, feel suddenly necessary. The chill seeped through the old walls, hinting that a bit of heating might soon be in order.
With methodical precision, Levi slammed the stack of reports against the wooden table to align them perfectly, every edge sharp and in place. He moved aside the sticky notes he’d scribbled on hours before, crossing off the last item on his to-do list with finality. Job done for the day—
“Well, that’s it,” he muttered, eager to leave the stale room behind.
A pointed clearing of someone’s throat halted him, making him glance up slowly. Levi’s senses flared; he wasn’t done after all. The tension thickened, and the air shifted to something more ominous. His gaze travelled around the table, landing on each board member’s face. Some looked uncomfortable, others entertained, as if they’d been anticipating this moment. Hange, seated beside him despite their role as Commander now, avoided his eye, their head lowered in apparent resignation. Recent meetings had seen the appearance of new, vaguely unsettling faces, like Kiyomi's, who now looked across the table with a subtle smile.
“Captain,” Zackly’s voice rasped as he cleared his throat yet again.
“The day’s agenda is finished,” Levi stated, irritation biting at his words. The official telegram had detailed the topics to be discussed, all of which they’d already addressed. Anything beyond that, he knew, was meant to be cleared with the entire board beforehand.
“This was a last-minute matter,” a Military Police officer interjected, though the smirk twitching at his lips betrayed more amusement than urgency.
“Captain,” Zackly called again, knitting his fingers together. “You know we’ve always valued your dedication to Paradis.”
The pause was rehearsed, the words strangely formal, making Levi’s eyes narrow. “What the hell is going on?” cutting through the man’s attempt at civility.
“Let the Commander finish,” Kiyomi insisted, her voice smooth and elegant, though tinged with a superiority that grated on him.
“We wouldn’t have managed to retake Wall Maria without your bravery—”
“A lot of people sacrificed themselves for that,” Levi replied sharply, cutting off the praise that felt, at best, patronizing. “Including the previous Commander, Erwin. No need to thank me.”
“Nevertheless,” Zackly forged on, tiring of the interruptions, “without your skill, all those sacrifices might have been in vain. Not only did you dare to fight for Eren’s retrieval from the Female Titan and against the former tyrannical regime, but—”
“It wasn’t just me. My squad and the brat over there were in it too.”
The tone of the conversation was growing increasingly uneasy, the excessive praise no longer just annoying him but setting off alarms.
“Quite right. You and Mikasa were essential in humanity’s progress,” Kiyomi added, eyeing Levi with a calculating gaze. As her look shifted back to Zackly, Levi’s own attention followed.
“What we mean to say is… even if Paradis positions itself favourably in the new world, more capable individuals like you and Mikasa would be ideal assets for our success.” Zackly straightened in his chair, clearing his throat for the third time, making Levi wonder if the man needed water—or to finally give up smoking like a chimney. “Have you ever considered marriage, Captain?”
The question hit him like a bucket of ice water. It was so absurd Levi could only scoff. “What?”
“How old are you now?” Zackly continued, feigning casual curiosity. “Thirty-three? Thirty-four? A prime age, I’m sure. And for a high-breed alpha like you—”
Behind him, low chuckles began to echo from the MPs, each one making Levi’s grip on the chair’s arm tighten.
‘This is a trap.’
“Whatever it is you’re implying, I I suggest you rethink it,” Levi spat, the weight of their words starting to settle.
“Let’s be frank,” Kiyomi leaned forward, hands placed firmly on the table. “Captain, we once thought the Ackermans extinct, only to discover Paradis has not one but two. Even Zeke couldn’t deny that meeting you at Shiganshina was... less than pleasant.”
“Of course,” Levi replied dryly. “I beat that monkey’s ass.”
“Exactly.” The dark-haired woman showed no amusement, her voice all business. “To the point, then: we intend to provide you with a suitable wife to ensure that you bless this island with as many Ackermans as she’s capable of bearing.”
Levi shot to his feet. “You must be out of your damned mind if you think I’d agree to this. I’m not here to be used as a breeding tool.”
“Oh, but you wouldn’t be the one doing the birthing,” an MP remarked with a smirk as the rest of the board broke their facades, amusement flashing in their eyes. All but Hange, who looked as if they might vanish into their seat.
“You’re insane,” Levi snarled, preparing to leave, feeling insulted to his core. “You can use Historia as your political pawn as much as you want, but I’m not some 17-year-old girl at your disposal—”
“Think of it as a service to your country,” Zackly replied coolly.
“I serve this island every damned day,” Levi snapped, baring his teeth. With a sharp slap, he pressed his papers against the table and strode toward the door, signaling his utter rejection of the idea.
“If you won’t consider it…” Kiyomi's calm, piercing voice halted him at the door, the threat clear. “Then we’ll turn to the only other Ackerman left.”
Levi stilled, staring at the golden knob in his hand, fury boiling in his veins. He wasn’t about to fall for this.
“Mikasa is too valuable to be reduced to a broodmare.”
“She’s a girl of duty,” Kiyomi replied, a note of satisfaction in her voice. “Something you seem to lack. And she’s an alpha. I’m certain she could bear at least one healthy child before returning to the battlefield.”
Levi clicked his tongue, pushing open the door with disdain. ‘Who the hell do they think I am?’ Hands stuffed in the pockets of his coat, he stormed down the royal city’s military headquarters hallways, curses slipping from his lips. The whole idea was absurd; they’d lost their minds if they thought he’d even consider it.
As Levi stormed down the dim corridor, every step sharp and swift, he couldn’t shake the rancor rising within him. The brazenness of it all, to drag him into their twisted ambitions with such flippant disregard for his will—and then to threaten Mikasa. The audacity alone made his fists clench.
He barely noticed Hange keeping pace with him until their arm was outstretched, catching him by the shoulder.
“Levi,” Hange began softly. Their usual spark was subdued, gaze serious, and voice almost apologetic. “I know you’re furious. I knew this would be hell to hear, but I didn’t know how else to—”
“Save it.” Levi shrugged their hand off, glowering. “You knew, didn’t you? That they were going to bring this shit up?”
Hange hissed, as if asking them to confessed was almost painful. “Yes… I knew.”
Levi gritted his teeth, eyes dark with betrayal. “You agreed to this?” Both of them whispering on the empty cold halls of the building.
“I… didn’t agree,” Hange answered carefully. “But I was there when the discussion happened. Look, Zackly and the others—” Hange hesitated, running a hand through their hair. “They’re dead set on this idea. They think they’re planning for a stronger Paradis, and if they think that means Ackerman bloodlines—”
“Save the speech.” Levi’s tone was sharp. “They can be dead set on whatever they please, but I'd like to see them drag the entire MP battalion if they want to force me into this.”
The past year had hardly been easy on either of them, especially Hange with their new title as Commander. Levi was well aware of this—yet the sense of betrayal cut deep. “For fuck’s sake, Hange, you could’ve warned me.”
A tense silence hung between them, until Hange finally sighed and adjusted their glasses, pressing on the bridge of their nose. “You think I had a say in this? Kiyomi's paying for the entire coastal expansion and the railway. She thought it was a decent idea, and with her money backing it, she’s got the final word on everything.”
Levi clicked his tongue, crossing his arms in exasperation. “Those bastards in the upper ranks are just itching to get on my last nerve since we changed the policies.”
“Look, I know it sounds—insane. But maybe… if we don’t try to protect the future of the island, there won’t be one. And if there’s a way to keep the Ackerman bloodline alive, maybe there’s value in that…”
“Don’t give me that bloodline nonsense.” Levi’s tone was ice-cold, his gaze sharp. “This is some harebrained scheme they’ve cooked up. And let me guess: it reeks of Zeke. That bearded bastard’s across the ocean, and he’s still screwing with my life.”
Hange pressed their lips together, saying nothing. The silence was confirmation enough.
“That son of a bitch,” Levi cursed under his breath. “He’s the one with royal blood, not me.”
Hange’s lips twitched in something close to sympathy.
“Well, since you two are such good friends these days, feel free to let him know he can kiss my ass.”
“Levi…” Hange sighed, not because they disagreed but because Levi’s sense of betrayal cut both ways. They were the last two left of the original veterans—family in all but name. It wasn’t just an argument; it felt like a wound between them.
Convincing Levi? Impossible. But convincing her? That possibility hung in the air, lingering like a storm on the horizon. Levi paced with conviction at first, then with dread. They both knew it, and, worse, Zeke likely knew it too. Mikasa had just turned seventeen, still almost a child, recently visited by someone claiming kinship with her clan. Levi couldn’t care less about all the ancestral politics, but he was all too aware of how they worked.
“You can choose whoever you wish for the father,” they had told her, as if it was some generous offer. And, step by step, he watched Mikasa’s face transform from disgust to something akin to acceptance. Perhaps it was because she, too, held a certain pedigree; perhaps she felt duty-bound. He didn’t know, and he didn’t care what methods they used to sway her.
‘She’s smarter than that,’ he tried to tell himself.
But then he overheard Historia, almost childishly enthusiastic, whispering to Mikasa, “See? I told you—we’re girls with responsibilities.” The blood drained from his face. If they’d managed to convince Historia, to make her some kind of pawn in their twisted ambitions, what was stopping them from pulling Mikasa down the same path?
‘It’s disgusting,’ he thought bitterly. ‘Maybe this is how those classist bastards operate. They talk little girls into this like they’re just trading dolls for something more ‘exciting.’’
That night, back in his office, Levi was a restless storm, pacing the room with his suit jacket hanging loose, fingers curled around his glass of whiskey, his movements sharp and frustrated. The glow of his cigarette flared in the dark room as he took a deep drag, gritting his teeth.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”
Slouched in his chair, forearm draped over his eyes, his mind circled back to Mikasa’s hesitant, almost innocent blush—her teenage imagination painting a faint, rosy tint over whatever twisted future she thought she might face. And in his mind, as if staring him down, were Eren’s haunted eyes, that deadened look of someone who already knew more than he could say. Maybe the brat already knew Levi wouldn’t let it happen.
“She’s a damn kid,” he muttered. The thought of Mikasa shouldering this burden felt like a betrayal of his own values.
Though technically, she was not much younger than many girls who’d borne children before. But this felt different, disturbing— He let out a humourless chuckle, as a man that waits for getting hang. “Those bastards knew… I wouldn’t let them ruin her life like that.”
And like a cursed prophecy that tightened its grip the more one tried to escape it, Levi found himself back in that same damned office, slouched in his chair as if seated at a poker table. Bargaining his future.
Levi sat stiffly across from the military board, his expression a blend of frustration and disgust as they spoke. Zackly lounged in his chair, lazily smoking as the other officials presented folders adorned with detailed painted portraits, lists of family properties, and who knows what else. As they laid the offers on the table, a random thought clouded Levi’s mind: It feels like searching for a button that matches at the notions store.
He was reminded of long strips of fabric with various buttons sewn onto them, each one a potential fit. “Many of the noble families are eager to show their loyalty to the new government,” one officer stated with a practiced calmness. “Some have offered up alliances in exchange for the return of their territories and titles. This includes a number of unclaimed young omegas. You’ll have ample choices.”
Levi’s jaw clenched. He knew they expected him to appear grateful for the options lined up before him, as if he were selecting a new weapon. Instead, he leaned back, crossing his arms tightly. “I’ll be imposing some conditions.”
They paused, exchanging glances. “Naturally, Captain,” one of the men replied, steepling his fingers.
“No fancy bullshit,” Levi declared. “The wedding will be plain. Just a civil ceremony. I have no intention of making a spectacle out of this.”
The room fell silent, the officers exchanging looks that spoke volumes. One of them cleared his throat, hesitating before responding. “Captain, you should consider—”
“I’m not considering anything,” Levi interrupted, his tone sharper than before. “This is a plain arrangement, and it will remain exactly that. I don’t need fanfare or ceremonies—just a quiet signing of papers.”
The officers shifted uncomfortably, their discomfort palpable as they struggled to reconcile Levi’s cold practicality with their expectations. “Think of the girl. Many young omegas dream of their wedding day, waiting for it their whole lives. It’s—” a female alpha soldier attempted to be the voice of reason, but Levi was clearly listening to none of it.
“No buts,” Levi said, his patience wearing thin. “If I’m going to go through with this ridiculous arrangement, it will be on my terms. I’m not dragging this girl through some overblown ceremony when neither of us wants to be there.”
With a loud sigh, Levi lifted himself slightly from his seat to grab the portfolios. He barely looked at them, frowning deeply. “Don’t you have pictures where they look— I don’t know—human?” he spat out sarcastically, noting how overly produced their painted portraits appeared.
“That’s what’s in fashion,” one officer muttered defensively.
Groaning in disinterest, Levi rolled his eyes. “Nobles and their weird tastes.” But as he turned the next page to examine the descriptions, it was as if the world had tilted off its axis. “Sixteen,” he muttered, irritation creeping into his voice. He looked up, venom lacing his words. “You’re offering me sixteen-year-old girls? Girls who could be my damn daughters?”
“It’s common, you know—”
“I don’t care what’s common. Twenty-five,” Levi interjected. “At least twenty-five. I’m not getting tied to a child.”
“Come on,” an exhausted soldier exclaimed, “some are seventeen, eighteen—”
“Twenty-five,” Levi snapped, his eyes blazing. “I’m not interested in any of this unless you bring me someone who isn’t still in their childhood.”
“Be realistic,” Zackly finally spoke up, looking weary and disinterested. “How many omegas do you know that aren’t claimed by twenty-five?”
“Fuck if I know; that’s your job to find out, not mine.” Levi’s anger flared, echoing in the sterile room. “Weren’t you the one telling me to think of the girl? Don’t you think of her?”
“Why? Are you planning on hurting her?” Zackly questioned, raising an eyebrow.
“Fuck no.”
“Then I’m not concerned. Choose one and stop being a pain in the ass.”
It was clear they were not going to reach any middle ground like this. Amid the hastily scribbled notes, he noticed a name: Y/N, age twenty-one. He pointed decisively at the line, cutting through the cacophony of voices. “That one.”
There was no picture, no description—nothing. Perhaps it should have raised suspicions, but Levi was too tired for this cheap drama.
“Why her?” one member scoffed, glancing at the paper. “We have better offers on the table.”
Levi didn’t hesitate. “She’s the oldest.” He placed both hands on the table, pushing himself upward. He had made up his mind the night before; he just needed this to be over. Striding toward the door, he exited without allowing anyone to stop him. As he walked out of the conference room, he could hear the murmurs behind him.
As the door shut firmly, one of the cadets held the papers against his chest, confusion written all over his face. Slowly, he turned to the higher-ranking officer. “Shouldn’t we tell him that she’s scheduled to marry this weekend to her childhood fiancé?”
Zackly chuckled, flicking the ashes from his cigarette into the ashtray. Between coughs, he said, “Oh well, he can find out from her once they’re both married. It’s no longer my problem.”
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tutor!woozi + spanking
— where woozi gets tired mad tired from your disinterest while he tutors you.
WARNINGS: +18, smut, ass-spanking, fingering, crying, teasing, squirt, nippple pinching, rough sex, mentions of body fluids (cum/squirt), overstimulation, jihoon is mean.
KINKTOBER MASTERLIST
part 1 / part 2 (coming soon)
“you’re late.” jihoon’s voice is sharp, arms crossed like he’s been rehearsing this whole 'mad professor' act for hours. the second he swings the door open, his expression makes it clear he’s been dying to chew you out. you blink at him, leaning against the doorframe like you couldn’t care less.
“relax, lee,” you grin, walking past him, purposely brushing your shoulder against his arm. “i’m here, aren’t i?”
he rolls his eyes, shutting the door with a click, and you can almost hear him clenching his teeth. he throws himself onto the couch like he’s doing you a favor just by being there. you follow, plopping down next to him way too close for his comfort.
“you waste my fucking time, y’know that?” his voice has that edge of annoyance, the one that kinda makes you wanna push him even more, just to see if he’ll snap. “i could be doing literally anything else right now. anything.” he’s got this glare that’s sharp enough to cut glass, but all you can do is bite your lip and shrug like it doesn’t faze you.
“aw, come on, jihoon, don’t be so dramatic. you love this,” you tease, crossing your legs and tapping the spot next to you nudging him to get closer, but he just ignores. “besides, it’s not like i asked for that much of your time. just a few hours.”
he looks at you for a second, probably debating whether or not to throw you out, before he finally sighs and takes a seat. “you’re always distracted,” he mutters, grabbing the history textbook from the coffee table and flipping it open, not even bothering to look at you as he starts going over the material. “we’ve been over this chapter three times, and you still can’t tell me the difference between the renaissance and the enlightenment. do i look like a clown to you?”
you smirk, leaning back on the couch. “actually, you look like—” you pause, dragging your eyes up and down his figure slowlywatching he stiff when you don't finish the phrase. “—someone who could be a lot more fun if you’d loosen up a little.” you swear you see his eye twitch at that.
“i’m serious,” he snaps, and there it is—that flicker of irritation that you’ve been pushing for. he looks at you, eyes flickering down to the short skirt that rides up your thighs as you shift in your seat. “you can’t focus for shit, and i’m not here to waste my time. either you take this seriously, or you leave.”
“oh, i’m taking it very seriously,” you say, biting your lip again as you lean in, your arm brushing his. you always do this—those 'casual' touches . “it’s just hard to focus when you keep talking so much. i mean, what was it again? ‘the rise of intellectual movements in europe’? yeah, sounds really sexy coming from you.”
he bites the inside of his cheek, clearly trying to keep it together, but you can tell he’s close to breaking, plunging his hairs out of his head or something.
“you think you’re cute, huh?” he says, voice low and strained. “if you knew all this shit, why’d you even ask me to tutor you?”
you grin, crossing your legs a little tighter as you tilt your head. “oh, i knew it already. i just wanted an excuse to get close to you. i mean, come on, jihoon. you really think i’m that dumb?” you laugh, watching as his jaw clenches, his eyes narrowing at you.
“you’ve gotta be kidding me.” he tosses the textbook onto the table, crossing his arms again as he leans back. “so this was all just a game to you?”
“not a game,” you say, shrugging. “more like…an experiment. i saw you present your project last week, and, honestly? you looked sexy as fuck up there. figured i’d see if you’re just as hot when you’re trying to teach.”
jihoon takes a deep breath, his eyes locking with yours, and for a second, you think he might actually kick you out.
you lean closer, pressing your arms together so your cleavage’s practically spilling out, and for a second, you see jihoon’s resolve crack. he doesn’t say it, but you can see it in his eyes—the fuck it that’s so loud in his mind, you’re pretty sure even the aliens up there heard it. without another word, his hand is at the nape of your neck, fingers curling as he pulls you down, flipping you so fast your chest hits the couch. your hips land right on his lap, and you gasp in surprise, not expecting him to actually snap like this. but the look you give him over your shoulder—god, the devilish smile that curls up your lips—he knows you’re getting exactly what you wanted.
“you think this is funny?” he growls, his hand coming down hard on your ass, the sound echoing through the room as you let out a choked moan. your body jolts from the impact, but you don’t even have a second to recover before his palm meets your skin again, harder this time. “huh? think you can play your little games and just walk away?”
he slaps you again, harder, and the sting radiates through your body, your muscles tensing as you arch back into him. “jihoon—”
“don’t ‘jihoon’ me now.” another slap. your skirt rides higher with each hit, and you can feel yourself starting to drip between your legs, coating you, but it’s like he knows exactly what he’s doing. “you’re not as smart as you think you are.”
you open your mouth to protest, but then his hand lands harder than before, the force sending your skirt flying up, and he freezes. for a second, you think maybe you’ve won—until you realize he’s staring at your bare ass, his breath caught in his throat. “you’re not even wearing panties?” he scoffs, his hand gripping your hip, and it’s almost painful how hard he’s holding you. “seriously? this is what you came here for?”
you bite your lip, looking back at him over your shoulder again, and his eyes are burning into you. before you can respond, his hand’s back on you, spreading your legs apart so wide you can feel the cool air hitting your pussy. “you’re unbelievable.” he scoffs.
then, without warning, his hand smacks against your pussy, and the shock makes you yelp, your hands gripping the cushions tight. the wetness on his palm is undeniable, and you swear you see the corner of his mouth twitch up in a smirk. “look at you. already soaked, and i’ve barely touched you.”
you whimper, trying to move, but he keeps your legs spread, his hand coming down again. “you like this, don’t you? acting all tough, like you’re in control, but all it takes is a few slaps, and you’re dripping for me.”
his words are low, almost a growl, as he brings his hand down again, harder this time. your body jerks forward, your fingers digging into the couch, but the sting—too good to ignore. each slap has you biting back a moan, your thighs trembling, but the wetness only gets worse, slicking his hand as he keeps going.
“see?” another hit. you gasp, your chest pressing into the couch as you arch your back more, needing the friction, the release. “so fucking wet. what would people think if they saw you like this? spread out like this—begging for a fucking slap? really?”
his hand comes down once more, but this time, he lingers, fingers brushing against your swollen folds, slick with cum.
jihoon keeps going, each slap making a wet smack as your juices connects with his fingers and palm. every time he brings his hand down on your pussy, another thin line of your slick sticks to him, pulling back with a sound that has your cheeks burning. he’s relentless—alternating between slapping your ass and spreading your swollen lips just to smack your clit directly. it’s brutal, the way he’s working you, and all the while, he doesn’t stop talking.
“look at this mess,” he mutters, his hand squeezing the curve of your ass before landing another sharp slap. your skin’s so red, stinging from the constant impact, but that only makes the wetness between your legs worse, dripping onto his thigh. “you thought you could just tease me and get away with it, huh? acting all cute, playing dumb—but you’re the one who can’t even control yourself now.”
your body jerks with every hit, the sharp sting spreading through your thighs, making you cry out. you can feel how soaked you are, your wetness practically running down the inside of your thighs, and it’s so embarrassing, but the way he’s looking at you, all smug.
"fuck," you whimper, feeling the heat pooling in your stomach. you need him—god, you need him so so so so fucking bad, his cock, anything to fill the aching void between your legs. but instead, all you get is another slap, harder this time, making your whole body jolt forward.
“needy little thing,” he growls, spreading your cheeks apart with both hands just to watch as the slick drips from your hole, down to your clit, and onto his thigh. the sight makes him groan low in his throat in approval, and you try to protest, humiliated by how wet you are, but he just laughs. “embarrassed now? after all that shit you’ve been talking?”
his thumb finds your clit, circling it slowly, teasingly, and you squeak in surprise, your hips bucking against his hand. he looks up at you with this exaggeratedly thoughtful expression, like he’s debating something serious. “hmm… so, should i finger you now, or keep spanking this little pussy? decisions, decisions…”
your breath catches in your throat as he dips a finger into your folds, running it along your slick entrance before slipping it inside, and you can’t help the way your walls clench around him. “fuck, jihoon—please,” you gasp, and he scoffs, adding another finger, curling them just right.
“please, what?” he taunts, his fingers working you expertly, slow but deep, making sure you feel every inch. “you’re the one who asked for this. i’m just giving you what you wanted.”
his fingers slide in and out with ease, coated in your slick, the obscene sound of it filling the room as he pumps them faster. your pussy clenches around him, every curl of his fingers hitting the g'spot inside you, and you can’t stop the moans spilling from your lips, hips moving on their own to meet his thrusts.
“feel that?” he murmurs, his thumb circling your clit again as his fingers fuck into you. “so tight, so fucking wet. bet you’ve been dreaming about this, hm? me, fucking you with my fingers, making you beg for more.”
he thrusts his fingers deeper, spreading them inside you, and you cry out, your grip tightening on the couch. “fuck—yes, yes, jihoon—”
he smirks, leaning closer so his breath is hot against your ear. “and what do you want next, huh? my cock? think you can handle that after getting off just from my fingers?”
you don’t even answer, just nod frantically as you feel the pressure building, your walls clenching harder around him. each thrust of his fingers sends sparks shooting up your spine, your wetness dripping down his hand, and you can barely think straight, let alone form words.
“you’re gonna cum?” he growls, fucking you faster with his fingers, his thumb rubbing tight circles on your clit. “gonna cum just from my hand. so pathetic.”
jihoon’s fingers are buried inside you, his long, perfect digits moving inside you non-stop, curling against that spot that makes you whimper like a bitch. you’ve spent too many nights obsessed with those hands—those slender fingers that always seemed to be calling you from the depths of your own fantasies. and now they’re inside you, fucking you, and it’s so much more than you ever imagined.
you’re a mess, your pussy squelching with each thrust. your eyes burn with tears, you can feel your orgasm coming, creeping up from the pit of your stomach, but there’s something else, something more.
“fuck, jihoon,” you sob, your voice shaking as his thumb circles your clit again, driving you higher and higher. but it’s like your body’s betraying you—there’s this pressure, this unfamiliar heat building between your legs, and you don’t know what’s coming, but it’s terrifying in the finest way.
his fingers continue their assault, squelching louder with each thrust, and just when you think you can’t take it anymore, the pressure snaps. a gush of liquid escapes you, soaking his hand, the sound loud in the room as your body convulses, your orgasm crashing over you. you cry out, burying your face into the couch, as you realize what just happened. you fucking squirted on him, on his couch, on his floor.
jihoon doesn’t say anything at first. he just watches, his eyes wide, lips slightly parted in surprise. his fingers don’t stop, though. they keep moving inside you, coaxing out more spurts of liquid until they weak. each spurt feels like it's shaking you to your soul, and you want to hide, want to melt into the couch and disappear from the embarrassment, but he’s not letting you go anywhere.
“are you fucking serious?” he mutters under his breath, but there’s a hint of fun in his voice. his clean hand reaches for your head, fingers tangling in your hair as he yanks you up just enough to see your face. you’re flushed, eyes darting everywhere but at him, your body tremblinge.
“are you embarrassed?” he asks, scoffing as his hand tightens in your hair, forcing you to meet his gaze. “really? after everything, this is what’s got you hiding?”
your breath hitches, but before you can even think to respond, his free hand comes down on your ass, hard. the slap stings, making you jolt, but he doesn’t stop. he lands another, and another, the sound of flesh on flesh mixing with your rough breathing. “answer me.”
“jihoon—” you gasp, but he’s not having it. his hand moves from your ass to your breast, getting under your blouse and bra, pinching your nipple between his fingers, hard enough to make you squeal.
“i said, answer me,” he growls, his fingers twisting the sensitive nub until you’re squirming beneath him. “were you embarrassed? or were you just so fucking turned on by cumming all over my hand like that?”
“i—i wasn’t—fuck, jihoon!” you cry out, the words tumbling out of your mouth without thought as his fingers twist cruelly at your nipple, making it hard to think straight.
“don’t lie to me,” he warns, pulling your nipple harder as his fingers start working you again, faster now, his hand still slick from your release. “you loved it. look at you—fucking soaked. i bet if i pulled out my cock right now, you’d make an even bigger mess, right?”
you can’t deny it. the thought alone makes your thighs clench, your pussy fluttering around his fingers, and he feels it. he knows exactly what he’s doing to you, and you hate that you love it so much. his hand on your breast leaves for a moment, only to slap your ass again, this time harder, making you buck forward with a cry.
“that’s what i thought,” he mutters, yanking your head back by your hair as he shifts behind you. you can feel him now, the thick outline of his cock pressing against your ass. “you wanted this. you’ve been teasing me, fucking with me for weeks, and now look where you are—about to get exactly what you deserve.”
his hand moves between your legs again, this time not to slap but to tease, his fingers sliding through your folds, gathering your slick. he rubs your clit, once, twice, then pulls his fingers away, leaving you throbbing, hurting for more. you whimper in protest, but he just scoffs.
he pulls your legs apart wider, positioning himself behind you. you try to turn, to look at him, but his grip on your hair keeps you in place, your face pressed into the cushions as you feel the blunt head of his cock pressing against your entrance.
he doesn’t ease in slowly. he’s rough, pushing into you with one hard thrust that has you gasping for breath, your pussy stretching around him, and even though you are prepared enough, the burn makes you cry out. he fills you so good your walls clamp down around him, trying to adjust on his thick girth.
“hmm fuck yes,” jihoon groans, his voice weakened as he grips your hips, holding you still. “so fucking tight. you’ve been teasing me all this time, and now you’re taking my cock like a good little slut.”
he starts moving, his thrusts rough and no mercy, each one pushing you harder into the couch. his hands find your ass again, slapping it with each thrust, and the sharp sting only drives you higher, makes you wetter. you can feel the slickness coating his cock, dripping down onto the cushions, and you’re a mess of moans and cries, hardly competent to form words.
“jihoon—oh fuck—” you sob, your hands gripping the couch. each time he thrusts into you, it feels like he’s hitting deeper, the angle perfect, making you drool.
“yeah? you like that?” he growls. “you like me fucking you like this? slapping your pretty little ass while you squirt all over my cock?”
your voice is poorly there, mumbling things that don’t even make sense. “so full… so—jihoon… fuck… it’s—”
you’re trying to say something, but the pleasure is too much, your brain too clouded to form a coherent thought. he laughs as he flips you onto your back with ease. your body’s boneless at this point, sprawled out beneath him, and he takes a second to drink in the sight of you—your fucked-out expression, the way your lips part in a soft smile.
“you still got a smile for me, hm?” he teases, but there’s something fond in his voice, something almost soft. for a second, it feels like he might lean down and kiss you, but instead, his hand wraps around your throat, and he tugs your bottom lip between his teeth—his pretty and pearly white teeth that you loved during his briefs smiles, or when he bit your lip.
you pout, tilting your head slightly, desperate for his lips, but he just grins.
“bad girls don’t get kissed,” he says, he tightens his grip on your throat just enough to make you gasp, your eyes wide as he watches your reaction. “you haven’t earned it.”
before you can protest, he slams into you again, hard, making your body jerk against the couch. each thrust is deliberate, punctuated by his voice, growling out words like a promise with every snap of his hips.
“you’re—such—a—fucking—mess.”
his pace is brutal, the sound of wet skin slapping against wet skin fills the room, and all you can do is take it, your body arching beneath him, your moans spilling out uncontrollably.
jihoon doesn’t slow down. he leans over you, his mouth finding your breasts, sucking hard on the soft skin there. you can feel the bruises forming under his lips, the red marks blooming with each rough kiss, each bite, and you know they’ll turn blue soon enough, the evidence of his touch lasting long after he’s done.
“fuck,” you whimper, your nails digging into his arms, trying to ground yourself. “jihoon—i’m gonna—fuck, i can’t—”
“yes, you can,” he growls, not letting up for a second. his hand moves from your throat to your waist, pinning you down as his hips slam into yours with a cruel beat. “you’re gonna cum for me again, aren’t you? go ahead. let go.”
you don’t have a choice. the pleasure builds and builds until it snaps, sending you spiraling into another orgasm, your body trembling, your walls fluttering around him. jihoon watches, his eyes dark, his grip on your waist tightening as he fucks you through it, his hips never faltering.
“shit,” he hisses, his own release catching up to him as he pulls out, stroking himself once, twice, before spilling his cum all over your stomach, the warmth of it sticky against your skin. he groans, watching as it drips down your belly, his chest heaving.
for a moment, it’s quiet. your body is still shaking, your mind somewhere far away, but you feel his hands again—this time, softer. he’s cleaning you up with a towel he found somewhere, wiping away the mess he made, his touch surprisingly gentle after everything.
“you okay?” his voice is quieter now, the edge gone, replaced by something almost tender. he looks down at you, brushing a strand of hair from your face as you nod, still too dazed to form a proper response. you give him a weak smile, and he chuckles softly, shaking his head.
you think for a second that maybe he’ll kiss you after all—something soft, something to soothe the bruises he left behind—but instead, his expression shifts. his hand finds your shoulder, pushing you lightly as he mutters, “good. now get out of here.”
you blink, confused, sitting up slowly. “what?”
he smirks, grabbing a couple of books from the coffee table and tossing them into your lap. “you heard me. unless you want another good fuck, don’t come running after me. not for anything else.”
you raise an eyebrow, scoffing as you gather your clothes, slipping back into them without another word. his gaze never leaves you, watching the way you smooth out your skirt.
“right. see you around then.”
he doesn’t respond as you walk out, but you can feel his eyes on you until the door clicks shut behind you.
#seventeen imagines#seventeen reactions#seventeen headcanons#seventeen x reader#seventeen scenarios#seventeen smut#seventeen#seventeen fluff#svt smut#svt imagines#seventeen fic#seventeen x you#seventeen x yn#seventeen x oc#seventeen x y/n#woozi smut#woozi#woozi x reader#svt woozi#seventeen woozi#woozi fluff#woozi angst#woozi imagines#woozi scenarios#woozi reactions#woozi drabbles#woozi headcanons#jihoon smut#lee jihoon#jihoon x reader
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if art can be touched, will you let me hold you? | nanami kento
wc: 7.2k
summary: you press love into each piece of art you create, and nanami wonders if you’ve ever been loved that way.
contains: f!reader, non-curse!au, ceramic artist!reader, pov switching, slowburn, reader wears a skirt, food mentions, bad breakup (mentioned), mentions of art critiques, almost explicit sex, it’s love without words.
a/n: a concept and fic i didn’t expect would be so dear to me; there are some very small personal touches in this but the main inspiration for this is ‘we’ve been loving in silence’, but some bgm are ‘can’t take my eyes off you’, and ‘make you feel my love’.
ao3 (needs account)
MINORS DO NOT INTERACT.
part of the in's and out's new year/birthday event | request prompt: showing ‘i love you’ in all the ways you aren’t used to
CLAY. Take your material of choice; turn it over, get a feel of it. Is it a suitable medium for your art?
You first meet Nanami in the halls of an echoing applause.
The host’s spiel is muffled through the walls, but you know the program flow like the back of your hand—you’ve rehearsed your entrance every single day since being invited to announce your upcoming exhibit. In just a few minutes, your name will be called.
Yellow cue cards slip through your fingers, scattering to the floor as a result of the haste from your last minute touch-up just moments before.
“Shit,” you curse under your breath, checking the time.
As you crouch low, a pair of brown Derby shoes land in front of you—long and thick fingers reaching for your cue cards on the floor. The time on his wrist matches yours, each second highlighted in the stark contrast of a dark face and silver exterior.
You’re quick to receive his help, taking the cards into your hands as you lightly graze his fingertips. When you look up, you’re met with sharp lines—an angular jaw, eyebrows set straight; a pointed nose and his cheeks carving out hollow shadows.
A geometric study on blank canvas.
It’s embarrassing, the way you fluster and bow, thanking him with a stutter as you’re brought back to the urgency of the matter by the sound of your name being called out.
The rush to the conference hall has you breathing heavily, the nerves hitting you full force as you step up the stage, nearly tripping at the last step. Hues of blue, yellow, purple, and green lights glare at you, and when the host hands you the microphone, you chuckle nervously, clearing your throat before addressing everyone in the room to thank them for coming this afternoon.
Your exhibit is called ‘What is the Face of an (Un)Touched Soul?’—a collection of ceramic sculptures molded to the realism of a human face, with the soul imagined as varying patterns and colors that fit each featured individual.
It’s been half a year since you started, with three out of six sculptures completed already. Two are in-progress, and you have yet to find a subject for one more; there are six more months for you to complete everything.
The audience sounds their applause, sophisticated claps and nods a familiar tune in the many years of your sculpting career. Critics in the room jot down their thoughts, reporters holding up microphones and recording devices to cover your announcement.
You smile wide, the rehearsed kind.
And at the end of your presentation, stepping down the stage, you spot him again.
You think to approach him in that moment, to thank him properly instead of the fumbling mess you’d choked out in the hallway—but you’re pulled towards a crowd of reporters and critics, recording devices pushed just below your chin as you watch him disappear into a sea of faces not nearly as interesting as his.
.
You meet Nanami again in the bustling morning rush at the bakery near your studio.
The past few weeks have been head-down and tedious, late nights working on painting some of the last few pieces for your exhibit. One of them is of your niece, 5-years-old in mint and white innocence; your brushstrokes are featherlight, softly accentuated by sponge dabs—a slate barely filled in, with room for more colors to appear with time.
Another is of your neighbor, an old man whose eyes have seen war beyond your comprehension—a retired soldier, a veteran of the military force. He plants primroses by his windowsill, the pastel yellow a stark contrast to the life he’s lived in red; neither of the colors cancel each other out, neither of them blend. You drag harsh strokes against his jawbone while smoothly gliding watercolor across his eyelids.
The people in your sculptures have sparked an untapped curiosity within you—for stories, for lives, for souls and what those might look like.
You bump into Nanami on his way out, the sandwich in his hand falling to the ground as you frantically attempt to pick it up.
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry.” you turn over the sandwich, checking for any holes or openings in its packaging, “Let me–”
It only registers that it’s him when you notice the same brown Derby shoes, the same watch with that dark face and silver exterior, the same geometric perfection on his face when you look up and finally come eye-to-eye with that same fixed stare.
You clear your throat. Well, this is embarrassing.
“Let me buy you another sandwich.”
He doesn’t exactly look angry, expression set in straight lines, but you can’t tell for sure—there isn’t much you can go by.
“There’s no need,” he dusts off the wrapper, “it’s still sealed.”
“Please, I insist,” you pat down your skirt, linen rough on your fingertips, “As a thank you too, for last time.”
He arches a brow, and for a moment you worry that you’ve remembered him wrong—honey blonde hair and features you’ve been intrigued by since.
“You insist.” he repeats, clarifying more than questioning.
You nod.
He sighs, checking his watch before pocketing his sandwich and turning back to open the bakery doors.
The silence in line to the counter is awkward. Nanami remains impassive, hand tucked inside his pocket—you can’t read a single thing about him.
“I was meaning to thank you after the exhibit announcement,” you start, turning slightly to face him before looking ahead again.
He hums.
“But I couldn’t find you, so…”
He hums again.
The lack of response makes you nervous and quite honestly a bit irritated. Here you are, trying to be nice, and all you’re met with are dry—
“It’s no problem, but that’s thoughtful of you, thank you.” he finally says, “I didn’t expect you to remember.”
A pause.
“I’m sure you meet a lot of faces in your line of work.” he further clarifies, in case his earlier remark had offended you.
You snort, “I wish.”
The line moves forward.
“Ceramic faces, maybe. People not so much.”
When you glance at Nanami, the look he returns is still characteristically inscrutable, but you think the corners of his eyes soften just a bit—to feel for you maybe, you hope, you think.
The line moves quickly after that, and next thing you know it, you’re by the cashier, pointing at one sandwich for you and another for him. You buy him a cup of coffee too, just as an extra kind gesture (—for his time; you’re sure he has places to be and people to see), but he stops you.
“Coffee’s on me.” he pulls out his card.
“Oh,” you look up, surprised, “you don’t have to do that—”
“It’s only fair,” he nods as the cashier punches in the order, “now we’re even.”
You attempt to rebut, but find no room for argument in the unbending weight of his gaze.
An interesting man.
You watch him stand by the claiming booth, hand in the pocket of his khaki suit. Nothing about him feels cohesive, yet he makes it work. Artistically, from a sculpting standpoint, the sharp lines on his face would be an interesting challenge—but beautiful, nonetheless. A study of near-perfection, you think.
And it would seem obvious, that from the rigid cut of his jaw and the sharp edges of his cheekbones that he’d act just as pointed.
Except, he doesn’t—a stark contrast to how much of a gentleman he seems to be.
His blue shirt stands out when you’d assume he prefers subtlety, and it’s ridiculous, but that yellow cow print tie feels simultaneously out of place but so fitting.
He walks toward you with your coffee, sandwich resting on his forearm.
“Thank you, Mr.—” you smile sheepishly, “Sorry, I don’t think I got your name.”
“Nanami Kento.” the corners of his lips lift slightly.
“Mr. Nanami,” you repeat, introducing yourself right after.
“Thank you as well.” he adds on as you both walk towards the doors.
Something tells you this is a missed opportunity. Something tells you there’s more to learn about this interesting man and what lies beneath his straight-faced sincerity.
The chatter from the bakery is replaced by the city’s breaths—cars passing, dogs barking, footsteps on pavement rushing to get to their next destination. And you and Nanami stand by the entrance, neither knowing how to say bye.
“Do you come to this–”
“My studio is just by the corner, so–”
You quickly look at each other. Nanami bows his head slightly, hand gesturing for you to go first.
“Sorry, um,” you tuck your sandwich in the crook of your elbow, “yes, I come here pretty often. My studio is just around the corner, so I drop by for quick meals when I can. You?”
“It’s on the way to work most days.”
You nod, humming.
Another awkward pause.
“I hope you–”
“I should get–”
You look at each other again, a bit more amused this time. The slight wrinkling of his eyes is impossible to hide.
He gestures for you to go first again, but you shake your head, offering him instead.
“I hope the pieces for your exhibit are going well.”
“Thank you,” you smile, bowing your head slightly.
That ‘something’ in your brain speaks to you again.
“Actually,” you begin, “sorry if this is weird, please feel free to decline, but,” you shift your weight, “I have one last piece to do and I was wondering if I could ask you.”
Nanami looks taken aback for a moment, eyes wider than normal as he processes what you’d just said.
“Ask me… for an opinion?” he clarifies.
You mentally facepalm yourself—you really should have made yourself clearer.
“Sorry, no, I meant,” you take a deep breath, fingers fiddling with your skirt, “if you’d like to be the subject for it.”
The expression on his face is as indecipherable as ever.
.
.
.
MOLD. Be familiar with your art, learn more of its intricacies. What will you shape it to be?
In the most unexpected play of events, Nanami says yes, but not without his hesitations.
You explain your process: the selection of a subject, an interview to get to know them better, then a few meetings at the studio to create the mold of facial features before coating it in plaster.
Never in his entire law career did Nanami ever think he would be into art, much more be chosen to be the subject for it. But he figures, if anyone were to get him to do things so wholly out of character like this, it would be you.
After all, he’s been a fan of your works for a while—from your third exhibit up to your seventh one now.
People love paintings and the strokes on canvas, admiring textures and blends of colors bleeding into one another; Nanami loves sculptures, a mixture of materials and techniques forming an object with more than one viewing plane.
“Have you always loved sculpting?” he asks, sitting still on the wooden stool in your studio.
A few meetings have gone by by now, and he’s told you a few things about himself for this to be a comfortable enough way to spend his Friday night: he’s a lawyer in a firm he’s co-founded with a good friend, evenings being the only free time in his schedule; he lives alone in a two-bedroom apartment and his neighbor’s cat often lands on his balcony every morning; he likes coffee and tea, paperback books and music from the 30’s and 60’s.
He chose to be a lawyer to correct the shitty system that’s vowed to help but has instead made it difficult for anyone genuinely trying to be good.
“I started with paper craft first,” you mold out the slope of his nose, looking back and forth between him and the mass of clay on your desk, “you know that 3D looking paper art that kinda pops out of the page?”
He hums instead, careful of any slight movement that may disrupt the pose you’re trying to replicate.
“And this?”
Your metal scraper drags on the sides of the sculpture’s nose, sharpening it as it narrows to the bridge.
“I picked it up in college, was an outlet to keep me company during that time.”
The PR answer.
Nanami knows most of your general story; pamphlets and exhibits always give a run-down of the artists’ individual histories. You’d started sculpting as soon as you entered college, a need for company while in a completely unfamiliar place with no more home to return to. It was all or nothing, and as the sculptures grew in number, so did your popularity—you are by no means a fresh name to the scene 10 years later.
“Why do you love it?” he looks you in the eye.
You pause, holding his gaze for a few seconds before looking away, focusing on the chunk of wet clay between your fingertips as it turns more pliable.
“It’s gotten me through a lot.” you sigh, attaching the piece of clay to form his lips, “Touching clay feels therapeutic sometimes, and you can tell from how it looks if it’s been molded with love.”
The stillness in your studio is extra quiet, filled only with the faint sounds of your fingertips sticking onto clay; he doesn’t quite know what to say.
“Sorry, that was cheesy.” you scrunch your nose and pout.
He chuckles, a low laugh, “Not at all.”
You lock eyes, the curve of your lips upturned. He feels his eyes soften around its edges.
It makes sense, and he thinks he can understand; there must be a reason why he loves books with creased spines, why he prefers weathered pages—why the scratches on his vinyl records don’t bother him as much as it should.
.
You both like your coffee without milk, just with a bit of sugar for yours.
Nanami’s taken up baking, specifically breadmaking, in his spare time—he brings you sourdough the next Friday you meet.
Your studio is an organized mess, scraps of clay decorating the otherwise bare and white space. To the left of the room is a large cork board filled with pinned sketches and some color swatches—a visual representation of the creative chaos in your mind.
A whiteboard to its right holds your schedule, and everywhere across the room are your art pieces—on shelves, in glass cases. He assumes most of them are the versions that didn’t make it, considering that the ones that have are either auctioned off or left as collector’s pieces in exhibits and art museums.
“That’s the first one I ever made.” you sneak up behind him, biting off the sandwich you hastily put together.
The sculpture is smaller than the busts you’ve made for your current exhibit, but it still occupies a third of your shelf. It’s unlike any of the works you’ve ever done, but he supposes it makes sense, given how much your style has probably evolved over time.
The piece is a lot simpler in comparison to the edgy twists most of your works now contain, but the little girl fast asleep in the sculpture begs questions he’s not sure how to ask you—if he even should.
He continues to stare, clearing his throat; you eye him knowingly and snort.
“Just ask, I know you want to.”
The texture of the carved blanket catches his eyes, the ripples and creases made to conform to the girl’s curled up figure. There’s a sadness underlying her comfort, a search for security while being wrapped in a bundle of safety.
“Who is it?” he asks.
You pause before you answer; he’s worried he’s crossed a line.
“Me.” you admit, a near-whisper.
He hums, back still faced towards you. It explains, then, why he’s always felt an underlying sadness beneath the creases of your smiles.
When he turns his face to the side, an attempt to catch your eyes, you look away, diverting.
“Which one introduced you to me?” you gesture towards the rest of your pieces.
As it’s come to be, Nanami’s learned that you’re good at that too—creating curves of deflections, pockets where you can hide when you feel something’s gotten too close.
He plays along, turning around to view the expanse of your studio; it’s amazing, how the art pieces that stack shelf upon shelf all boil down to your hard work. You briefly mentioned that you haven’t taken a break from creating because you still don’t believe you deserve it.
“It’s not here,” he puts his hands in his pockets, “the one with the hand clutching a heart.”
‘Unhand’—his favorite piece of yours; he’d seen it in one of the museums he had to visit for one of his clients. Hyperrealistic branches of veins and arteries running across an anatomical heart, every curve and indent a carefully placed texture to bring your piece to life. It comes clenched in a hand, the veins streaming across each finger while blending into those of the heart’s—at first glance, it’s impossible to tell where one ends and the other starts.
It’s a different view from each angle—that’s why he likes it so much, along with the graphic nature of it. The pain feels vivid, real.
“Ah,” you run your fingers across your work table, fiddling with the small pieces of clay before taking a seat again, “that one.”
Nanami follows but he doesn’t say anything, resuming his place in front of you in the usual way he’s done the past few weeks.
“I didn’t think I was the type to be moved by art.” he confesses, sitting still as you continue the final work on the clay wisps of his hair.
You encourage him to go on, nodding along.
And he does, watching the way your steady hand forms features that look uncannily like him, if not better; strands of your hair always fall from behind your ears and he’s almost tempted to tuck it back to where it came from.
He tells you of the pain he feels from that piece, how it presents itself in different ways depending on the area you focus on—the constricted blood vessels, the buildup of pressure from a vein blocked by a thumb, the strain of muscles at the back of the hand.
A small smile makes its way onto your face, slightly sad but somehow relieved, “Didn’t expect you to be such a poet.”
“Must be from being around you so often,” he responds.
And if it’s a trick of the light, a part of him sinks at that possibility—he thinks your smile stretches wider, suppressed only by the shyness trying to hide it; no pain whatsoever.
Unexpectedly, you share with him the story. Not the filtered version, but the one just as raw and vivid as the sculpture made from it—a failed relationship that had you clinging onto sculpting as your lifeline. You spare him some of the gruesome details but hint at it enough that he can fill in the gaps on his own.
You tell him that you’re a people pleaser, you’ve learned—it’s the only way you can view that relationship with grace, that at least you understand yourself better because of it. That even when the grip on your heart wrung tight enough for each beat to hurt, you still clung on with all your worth.
(Now you know you shouldn’t have.)
People have come to you with stories of their own, sharing how much your art means to them. Critics write articles, both good and bad, detailing the technicalities of your work. The applause follows you everywhere you go, yet it has never touched you—has never gotten too close.
If your art has touched others, has listened and spoken their truth in your handiwork, who does that for you?
.
During one of the last few Friday meetings, you offer to teach him how to mold clay.
He looks at you curiously, watching the way your fingertips pinch and squeeze, how they glide to smoothen the material and press down to create indents on the surface.
“Do you want to try?” you ask, gaze still set on his sculpture in front of you. There’s a teasing edge to your tone, one that’s developed over the months of getting to know you more.
“Would that be troublesome?”
You laugh at his rigidness.
“Of course not.” you push your piece aside, standing up to gather clay from the mound of it to your right. You lay down a wooden platform for him–his own little workspace–and slam a chunk of clay atop it, “I think you might be good at it actually, since you like making bread.”
The movements are familiar but not entirely the same. He rolls up his sleeves, blue cotton pinching at the creases of his elbows; you hand him an apron to protect the rest of his clothing. There’s not much kneading involved, not much palm action too, but he learns to move his fingertips with a force he can only compare to creating little dimples into focaccia dough.
You teach him how to make a bread basket—something practical but beginner-friendly; something he can use and keep as a reminder of you.
The trickiest part of it is mimicking the rattan weavings, and you notice him struggling with it when his strips of clay begin to break.
A screech fills the room as you push back your chair, standing up to go behind him as he attempts to salvage his work.
“Here, let me–” you reach over his shoulders, flattening some of the cracks from above him.
You’ve never been this close before, the thin strands of hair dusting your arms tickling the sides of his ears. These past few months, he’s watched your hands press and pull and form, turning each detail of his face into art. It’s only now, right next to his larger and rougher ones that he’s noticing just how small and delicate yours are.
It’s dainty work, weaving and braiding. He attempts to do it again, but the clay only falls apart when he pulls too hard.
You stifle a giggle, the vibrations tickling his back, “We might take a while here.”
“I don’t mind.” he mumbles.
“You sure you don’t have anywhere else you’d rather be?” you lean forward, pressing closer until he feels your warmth against the back of his head, “I feel bad, I’ve been taking up most of your Friday nights already.”
It shouldn’t mean anything; he shouldn’t feel anything—you seem to be unfazed; art is meant to be taught by doing.
But then your hands go over his, guiding them to lift each strand of clay gently before interweaving them with one another, and he thinks—
—this must be what it feels to be touched by art.
So, no.
There’s no other place he’d rather be.
.
.
.
DRY. Give it time, let it settle. Watch your art come into form. Is this a good foundation?
“Will you be free next weekend?”
His question surprises you as you stand in line at the bakery. You tend to catch each other at just the right times almost everyday, saving a spot for whoever’s running a little late.
Today, it’s you, rushing in slightly frazzled with your hair sticking out which way; you’d just finished up molding the sculpture late last night, letting it rest out to dry. Nanami’s head is turned towards you, hands in his pockets as he directs the same pointed gaze you’ve become all too accustomed to.
You must have forgotten to mention it.
“Oh,” you turn to him, “there’s no need, our sessions are over.”
His silence makes you nervous, just like it did the first (second) time you met.
Did you upset him? Did he already cancel plans to free up time for your studio?
The entire trip to the cashier is quiet, but you find that he’s ordered ahead for you—your sandwich order and a cup of your usual coffee. He pays for it too, despite your refusal (and confusion).
It’s when he hands over your drink by the corner of the room that he finally speaks.
“Not for a session.”
You tilt your head curiously.
The coffee feels warm on your hand, and you think you see the same warmth at the tips of his ears, dusting it light pink. He coughs, fingers clenching around his tie before loosening it.
“For a date.”
.
You begin to take up his weekends now, too.
Since that day at the bakery, when you’d nearly dropped your coffee before stuttering out your availability, you’ve already gone on seven dates (to you, at least; Nanami would officially count three).
He insists on still visiting you every Friday, bringing you dinner as a reminder that you should eat on time and not the moment you’re keeling over from a rumbling stomach and a pounding headache. You count these as dates too—because what else do you call spending time with someone you like while having night-long conversations over good food?
(Nanami creates a distinction though, prefers his dates to be more planned out and intended. On the three official dates you’ve gone on, he’s brought you to three different locations—a weekend market, a picnic by a lake after you’d mentioned something about it, and a vintage record shop on the outskirts of the city, a place he frequents often).
The near-perfection you once thought of the man, a geometric study on canvas—he’s still every bit of it, still every bit as interesting as what he seemed, just in a completely different way.
For a man typically so nonchalant, he is extremely particular about his tastes, borderline picky with trusted company.
Nanami enjoys coffee (as expected), but the fermented filter kind, dripped down a V60 pour over to extract different notes of sweetness and acidity. You’d think he enjoys a straight black, face stoic enough to handle its bitter bite; but no, his jaw clenches when he dislikes the taste, his tongue sounding the faintest click against the roof of his mouth before he downs the entire thing in one gulp.
He also happens to be extremely gentle, in a way you don’t expect from a man of his stature and build. Veins run through the back of his large hands, branching to webs around the thickness of his fingers; they may not be delicate enough to weave clay, but he carves out different patterns on the sourdough he presents to you every Friday.
The first time he held your hand, it wasn’t exactly planned—an instinctive move to reach out his palm as you climbed the steps of the spiral staircase in the record store out of town. You’d barely felt it then, just the featherlight hold of his thumb pressed against your knuckles as you gripped the fabric of your skirt.
(To your surprise, he kept it up all the way through, slipping his fingers through the gaps between yours as he showed you around vintage vinyls and the sound of love in muffled 60’s tunes.)
You imagine him to be like clay, a softness hardened over the years that have shaped him; smooth but solid to the touch, breaking into powdered shards once you manage to work your way through.
It’s unexpected, but you like that.
And you like him—quite a lot, really.
This date–the tenth, or fourth, whichever–is a lot fancier than all the others, a more formal dinner with a few glasses of delicious wine whose name you by god, don’t remember. You’d been too focused on something else—the handsome way he’d slicked back strands of his honeyed hair.
Black suits him, contrasting the paleness of his skin and complementing the sharpness of his features.
Black, the color of his suit, pressed neatly to fit him perfectly. He looks clean, broad shoulders with straight slacks falling to exactly where they’re supposed to be.
Black, which is the only thing you see, pressed up against him. You’re so close by your doorway, that half-minute of deciding whether to stay or walk away; he has one foot behind him and one firmly planted right next to yours.
You share a breath, fingers lightly intertwined with his.
There had been signs the entire night that it would lead to something like this—he’d played with your fingers a lot more, kept much closer to you than he ever has before.
Every sound around you is amplified—each inhale and exhale, the gulp he makes; your heart beats on rampage.
When you look up, your noses are almost touching, and his eyes are shut, the crease between his eyebrows deepening.
It’s a look you’ve only seen once before, when he’s stuck contemplating.
“Kento,” you whisper.
His eyes blink open slightly, the color of your coffee. He leans forward, forehead resting against yours as he takes a deep breath, “I–”
Then you kiss him.
It’s mostly a peck really, and wholly out of character for you, but it’s that same something that compelled you to ask him to model for your sculpture months ago that’s pushed you to do this right now.
You’re worried for that first split-second because he doesn’t move, shows no sign at all of reciprocating. It’s a moment before you consider parting that he finally softens, relaxing his lips as he glides them over yours. His fingers slot themselves by your ear, palm pressed against your jaw as he deepens it; you almost stumble back, his other hand catching your weight as it leans on your door.
It’s a good thing you did this then, because you learn that he likes you too—very much, actually.
.
Things are good a month until your exhibit.
Things are good until they aren’t.
You end up reading a premature critique on your exhibit, calling it ‘overrated’ and ‘boring’, detailing the trajectory of your decline as an artist, citing your works as having become increasingly more lackluster over the years.
The critic calls your theme ‘lazy’ and ‘unoriginal’, predicting your pieces to be nothing extraordinary or different from your older sculptures.
All this time, your publicist and manager have made it a point to protect you from things like this, requesting that you avoid searching up your name on social media or search engines. You’re usually fed with praises and the occasional constructive criticism, but never anything as spiteful as this.
It’s every possible thing that could be said to invalidate your hard work.
And you break because of it—along with Nanami’s sculpture.
It tips over accidentally, the funk in your mood making you especially clumsy.
The damage is terrible, half of his face is gone, his neck down still intact but chipped off. It’s impossible to repair without redoing the entire thing—which, you don’t have the time for, either.
You groan, banging your head against the table.
Frustration leaks out in your tears, every inch of self-doubt surfacing.
Nanami finds you in your studio that way.
He’d texted you the entire day, tried calling you a few times to no success. It’s a Thursday, but without your usual ‘just got home’ text, he’d gotten worried and rushed over as soon as his meeting ended.
If he’s being honest, you’ve been off this entire week—stressed and distant, overworked from revisiting all your finished sculptures for the exhibit in case of anything to change or tweak.
Then this.
And it’s too much—it’s all too much.
Nanami calls your name from your entryway and you look up with tears streaming down your face. He’s never seen you like this, you could never want him to.
He hurries over, brows immediately furrowed as he digs into his pocket for a handkerchief. The cow print would make you giggle on any other day, but now, he uses it to wipe your tears away.
“What happened?” his gaze shifts to your right, his sculpture half-ruined.
Silence.
“Is there anything I can do?” he asks hesitantly.
You shake your head, swiping at your nose, “It won’t look the same, Ken.”
“Do you want to redo it? I can clear up my schedule every–”
“There’s no time.”
Nanami takes your hands to rub his thumbs over your knuckles, soothing.
“Then we’ll do what we can.”
The sincerity in his voice hurts you, the reassurance in his eyes even moreso. You’ve never had anyone look at you this way.
“There’s no point.” your shoulders slump, lips trembling as another wave of tears pool on your lash line. “People are calling the exhibit a flop.”
“Who?”
You huff out, exhausted, “I don’t know, critics, media. Whoever.”
He furrows his brows, firm, “They don’t understand what you’re doing.”
You chuckle sarcastically, “They’re art critics, Ken, of course they–”
“If it means something to you, what does it matter to anyone else?”
That makes you look up.
Nanami stares at you with the same unwavering gaze, no longer indecipherable to you. There’s a softness in the squint of his eyes that you now know means concern, with every pointed feature only meant to drive his words home.
You’ve been second guessing everything down to the core of your abilities, because of what? A few words? This must be what you get for having a penchant to people please, for hinging on everything everyone has to say.
“If you love what you create, then continue to make it.” he squeezes your hands, as if pressing the words into your bones gently.
.
You remold and repair, and you build up your sculpture to something different but not worse than before.
You remold and repair to build up yourself.
The half that broke off isn’t as symmetrical as you’d like it to be—and it definitely doesn’t do justice to the man it’s sculpted of, but you think you like the softness you added to it, how his eyes look kinder. He means something else to you now, after all, compared to when you first started sculpting him.
And you think, you know just what kind of design speaks of his soul.
.
.
.
PAINT. Add the final touches, perfect your piece. Bring it to life with colors and details, whether it be for one pair of eyes or many. Do you now see?
Nanami teaches you how to make bread on a Sunday morning.
Flour coats every surface of his counter, dustings of it transferred to the deep blue of his apron. You’re wearing a white one, borrowed from your studio. Elbow-to-elbow you knead, and he only has to teach you once for you to get the hang of it, really.
He smirks, “You’re a natural.”
“Must do stuff like this a lot in another life or something,” you stifle a giggle, playing along.
It’s a beautiful day out, golden sunlight hitting your cheek—Nanami stares, sneaks peeks between every knead. The same strands of hair tucked behind your ear fall to frame your face, and he hooks his pinky around it to tuck it right back (because he can now, without having to hesitate).
You turn to him, daylight in your eyes when you grin your thanks.
His kitchen has an open space, deep wood and black metal detailings as its central theme (the white bread bread basket you made together stands out on the counter, but he’s done that on purpose). There’s a pretty extensive collection of alcohol in his liquor cabinet, along with his very particular coffee set-up right next to his record player slotted in the corner.
On Sunday mornings, Nanami likes to keep his music playing; today, it’s the classic 60’s–’Can’t Take My Eyes Off You’–serving as your background beat, with the soft meows from the cat on his balcony as added accompaniment to the melody.
He watches you sway, his feet tapping along, then you jolt, giggling in surprise when there’s a hiccup in the song (it’s from the scratches on his record, but he can’t bother replacing it with a new one). After that breakdown in your studio, you’ve seemed to loosen up immensely.
“Ken,” you call him, “how much pressure do you usually put into kneading?”
There’s no way to explain it, really, but to make you feel it yourself.
“Let me–” he lets go of his dough, dusting his hands with more flour before coming up behind you.
Nanami is a big man, tall and lean, all chest and shoulders—when he hunches over you, you look so small, delicately tucked into him. Heat rushes to his cheeks, if you turn around you’d see pink; the music is drowned out by his heartbeat.
He leans forward, palms clasping over the back of your hands, fingers slotting themselves between the gaps of yours.
“Like this,” he pushes down, his chest pressed against your back. To get a better look at the dough, he tilts his head to the side, nearly slotting it by your shoulder, “Can you feel it?”
You hum, your swaying gone. He’s trying hard to focus on the bread, but when you turn your head to face him, the tip of your nose touching his cheek, he stops.
The moment is tense, drowned into silence despite the music playing in the background. He can hear your every breath.
“Thank you,” you whisper.
Nanami knows it’s for many things—for agreeing to the sculpture, for spending time on it; for this Sunday morning, for being there when you needed someone the most. But that’s not the whole point of this, he thinks. It’s how you sound, voice heartfelt and filled with something else—a kind of affection he’s all too familiar with himself.
This must be what you mean when you say you can tell if clay has been molded with love.
.
In the quiet, Nanami’s hands move loudly.
He holds you gently, just like he always has, but it’s a permission every time—like he’s asking if he can touch you, love you in ways you aren't used to.
Your apron falls to the floor, followed by your skirt, the fabric pooling by your feet. The faded gray t-shirt you wear during studio days is tugged over your head, dropped next to him. He takes his time with you, turning you over, feeling you, knowing you—thick fingers squeezing the sides of your arms lightly as his lips press against your neck.
A gasp escapes you.
Then you move, nimble hands undoing the buttons of his shirt, pushing it open as you feel across the planes of taut muscle on his stomach and chest.
He groans, soft and low, your fingers brushing against his skin, ticklish.
You take a step back and he moves along with you, letting you settle into yourself as you inch backwards, the back of your knees knocking against the edge of your bed. He holds your gaze as you move towards your headrest, your shy smile doing nothing to lessen the butterflies in his chest—you did mention that it’s been a while.
He kneels on your bed, the mattress dipping to accommodate his weight—his slacks have been discarded to the side as he crawls over you.
Beneath him, you look like the very subject art could only wish to replicate.
So, he makes sure to remember all of it—to look close and memorize every detail of you as he dips down, arm planted to the side of your head as his other hand cradles your face, tilting your jaw up for a kiss.
He catches your lower lip between his, running his tongue over it before sucking lightly. You moan, smooth and honey-sweet, bringing him closer with your fingers clasped behind his neck. The room is quiet save for your lips smacking against each other’s, warm and soft as the heat builds between you.
Slowly and tenderly, with the same care you tend to clay, Nanami discovers all your dips and curves; he kneads the flesh of your hips, gripping your thighs as he kisses his way down the slopes of your body.
You squirm in his hold, tugging at his hair when the sensation feels too much, too good.
(But when he reaches between your legs, arms locking your thighs over his shoulders, you realize, nothing could have ever prepared you for this, for him—he treats you as if you are every bit of the art you make, and looks at you like it too.)
Then, Nanami kisses you on the forehead when he’s inside you, lips pressing on the part of your skin that creases when your brow furrows.
A tear drips down your face.
“Should I–” he looks you in the eye, worried.
“No,” you breathe out, a watery smile as you nudge your nose against his chin, “keep going.”
So, he does; he loves you without the applause, with the feel of his hands, leaving no place untouched.
He moves his body against yours.
It’s only after, when he tucks himself into your neck, arms wrapped around you and skin sticking onto skin that you tell him your tears aren’t anything bad.
For the first time in a while, you feel full—perfectly content.
.
He thinks you should be the final piece to your exhibit.
It’s a grand event, the conference hall decked in some of your previous works; blankets of white cloth drape over the stage—the unveiling of all your sculptures. You’re standing to the side, looking pretty in a long white skirt while Nanami blends among the crowd, far back enough to remain hidden from reporters but close enough to catch your eyes should you look his way.
You present each one, introducing the titles with brief descriptions of the people they’re sculpted from. The reasons for your designs are left primarily up to interpretation, but you’ve explained it all to Nanami—he’s listened to every single one.
Then you present his sculpture, finding him through the crowd. The corner of your lips curl up slightly, the stage lights reflecting on your eyes.
He smiles at you the same.
‘The Undoing’ is what you call it—half-perfect and half-salvaged.
It’s far from your original vision for the piece, but you think you like this more, splitting down the part that’d originally broken off into two different colors. His entire color scheme consists of yellows, greens, and browns—the perfected side of his face appears in clean strokes of coffee, with light yellows highlighting his pointed features. The angles are clean and sharp, his gaze straight and dead-on.
Running down the cracks of the broken half is a sky blue line, an almost glowing effect added to the salvaged side. In a way, it’s an emergence, of the part of him you never thought existed—green wisps like leaves, a life springing from within. You add flecks of gold to mimic light bouncing off his irises the same way sand becomes a glittering sea of sunbeams.
To you, Nanami is warm but cold to the touch, and he’s undone you just as much, has chipped away at the parts of you that have built themselves over years of habits reinforced and untouched.
It is as much you as it is him.
That’s what happens when you love someone, he supposes—an intermingling of souls.
Kraft paper crinkles in his grip as he adjusts the bouquet of flowers behind him, deep red carnations and orange tulips decorated with white astilbe flowers—for when you get down, and he can have a moment with you privately.
Now, he looks at you fondly, shifting his feet from where he’s standing. You search for his face, eyes darting to where you know you’ll find him; he meets your gaze, and you smile brighter, that one look ringing louder than the standing roars of an echoing applause.
a/n: each segment represents the steps to making a sculpture that i tried to parallel with the development of their relationship. V60 pour over is a kind of set-up for drip/filter coffee.
thank you notes: for @mididoodles, this is my very late birthday gift for you midi, but i hope you like it! (this also so happens to be your request for my in's and out's event) 🥺 + @soumies @scarabrat for reading through the first third of this and believing in the vision for this when i was so unsure of it, i love you both 🥺 + @stellamancer for helping me figure out what goes in the 'contains' 😭 + @augustinewrites to scratch the nanami itch 🥺
comments, tags, and reblogs are greatly appreciated ♡
#nanami x reader#nanami kento x reader#kento nanami x reader#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#kento x reader#nanami x yn#nanami x y/n#nanami x you#nanami kento x yn#nanami kento x you#shotorus.writes#shotorus.events#in's and out's event
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Not Over the Papaya | OP81
⊹ 。•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• 。゚
Ships : Oscar Piastri x Popstar! Reader , Ex!Lando Norris x Popstar! Reader
Genre : Fluff Smau
A/N : I wrote 2 chapters worth of material today … but imma make y’all wait for tomorrow 🤠👹
Face claim : Jennie Kim
Warnings : Moderate Cursing
Summary : Y/N and Oscar cope with their own breakups by making the Heartbreak Club.
Masterlist | Series Masterlist
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*message sent
Notification : You received a message from Oscar
*Incoming Call from Oscar
Pick up or Decline
Pick up
“Hi Osc”
“Hi to you too. You sound so sleepy”
“Yeah, I didn’t get that much sleep on the plane.”
“I told you to limit your coffee intake. I’m not there to stop you , you gremlin control yourself”
“I know I knowww”
“So why’d you wanna call? You should sleep”
“Its just weird that I’ve gotten to see your face practically everyday since last month and now I wont see you for like 2 weeks”
“Well we both work very hectic jobs, so that would be expected. But yeah ~ i’ve gotten used to your presence”
“ Hey Osc… Is it weird to say that I already miss your voice? “
“Only my voice?”
“Well your voice is like Jake Sully y’know.”
“You and your Avatar obsession . And I do not sound like Sam Worthington”
“Who??”
“The guy who voices Jake Sully”
“Ok but how do you know that?? I don’t even know that at the top of my head. I just like Jake cause he’s hot”
“I know that because you forced me to watch blue people run and swim for 10 freaking times!”
“Well you made me watch Cars with you on repeat!”
“You also loved Cars! what do you mean?”
“Ok, I do but that’s besides the point”
“What is your point dweeb?”
“ My point is that I miss you already”
“Well I miss you too”
- Hey Osc, is that Lily? -
“Hey I’ll be back. Lando’s talking to me. Don’t hang up, alright?”
- What? No. We’ve broken up , I’ve told you that -
- I thought I heard a girl’s voice. Is she your new fling? -
- I dont do flings Lando -
- Whatever you say mate -
“Hello? are you still there?”
“Helloooo?”
“You’ve dozed off huh. Sleep well dearest”
Y/N.
liked by oscarpiastri, y/bf, logansargeant, and others
Y/N. Florida I love you but you’re too hot. Rehearsals are brutal! 🤠 send jake sully thirst traps pls
Y/N. Whaaaaa who said that?
oscarpiastri Youre so weird.
Y/N. Because having a crush on a blue car isnt??
logansargeant Its not weird to have a crush on Sally tho
charles_leclerc I support my son’s tastes. Crushing on Sally is valid.
Y/N. But me having a crush on a giant blue man is not???
oscarpiastri nope. thats weird Y/N
logansargeant nope. thats weird Y/N (1)
charles_leclerc nope, thats weird Y/N (2)
Y/N. ugh i h8 the patriarchy
Y/bf Y/N your glowing babeeee!! So excited for Floridaaa. Im catching myself a cowboy 🤠. (and ur Jake Sully crush is so Valid!!)
Y/N Babe give me a call, your pass is still with me! ( RIGHT? The blue man is hot)
Y/bf That he is, but I think orange suits you better 😘 liked by oscarpiastri
oscarpiastri you are so right @Y/bf but its actually papaya 🤓
Y/bf stfu Oscar, im making u a case here 😤
user1 I dont know what to freak out about??!! Y/N adding another day to her concert sched or Oscar being in Y/N’s comment section and CLEARLY being flirty.
user2 Sir that is your teammate’s ex 😮💨
user3 Well lando did cheat … so eff the bro code or smth like that— i dunno im not a guy
user4 we can freak out about both!!! YES MY SHIP IS FREAKING FLOATING (it aint sailing till oscar confirms his breakup)
user5 Y/N becoming more unhinged by the second
user6 Y/N looks like she’s becoming better and happier 🤍 we love to see it.
user7 Enjoy your time Queen!
User7 Y/N in American soil is built different
User8 We see that like Oscar 👀.
oscarpiastri 3mins close friends
story replies
charles_leclerc do you like Americans now? well its very plausible since Logan’s American.
oscarpiastri Are you insinuating that I like Americans because of Logan?
charles_leclerc Yes, exactly that.
oscarpiastri NO.
logansargeant I knew it! Western always winssss 🤠🦅
oscarpiastri Why am I not surprised.
Y/N. Ohhhh whos the hot chick? 🤭🫣
oscarpiastri 🙂↔️🙂↔️🙂↔️
oscarpiastri I dunno you tell me
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What about Reid with a ballerina spouse (gn or fem) I don’t really have any idea for it other than Spencer has kept the relationship a secret from the team but they’ve been kind of suspicious and find out some how? Maybe the kind of spy on him and see him going into one of her shows and at the end of the show they see him kissing her or something
“I gotta get going guys, see you all tomorrow!”
“Wait wait, hold on now. What’s got you in such a hurry?”
Derek watched as Spencer quickly put away the files on his desk and threw his satchel over his shoulder, he seemed awfully eager to leave.
“Oh uh… The library’s closing earlier than usual today and there’s this one book I really want to read, so gotta go before it closes. Bye!”
Spencer strode off leaving the rest of the team very confused. They noticed that Spencer’s been leaving earlier than usual and he always had a different excuse.
“I have a dentist appointment.”
“I have to go and get more postage stamps before the post office closes.”
He had used nearly every excuse in the book and knowing his brain capacity, he’d probably never run out of them.
“Penelope, can you-”
“Already on it my love and… it’s false, he’s definitely hiding something.”
“Anybody up for a stake out?”
Derek and Penelope turned their heads at Emily, both of their eyebrows knitted together at the suggestion thrown out.
“Prentiss, you’re serious?”
“C’mon, aren’t you curious? Reid’s never one to shy away from talking about something.”
“That is true.”
“Oh, c’mon Derek! We’ll be super discreet! We can even dress in all black and be like spies!”
Derek turned his head at Penelope and chuckled over the excitement he saw in Penelope’s eyes.
“Garcia, we're the FBI.”
“I know, but I’ve always loved those spy sequences in movies.”
Both Emily and Derek laughed at Penelope’s excitement over the idea of having a stakeout over one of their friends. It really wasn’t like Spencer to not tell them about something, everyone on the team was like a family and they were usually some of the first people on the know about big news.
A couple of hours later after Penelope managed to track down Spencer’s location through his phone, the team were surprised when they ended up at a theater.
Looking around the area, they spotted a poster for the upcoming show that was set to start in 10 minutes, the show in question? A performance of Swan Lake.
“Why would Spencer come to see a ballet performance?”
“I think I know why.”
Turning their heads, Emily and Derek look over to Penelope and see her motion to Spencer and an unfamiliar woman with him. The two of them seem to be talking and laughing, but not in just a friendly manner. Spencer’s hand held onto the woman’s lightly and his thumb brushed over her knuckles, a sign of something more than just friendship. The woman seemed to get called to get into her position, but before she turned to leave she pressed a quick kiss to Spencer’s lips and hurried off, leaving Spencer smiling like a fool.
“My man.”
Spencer jumped in his shoes when he heard Derek’s voice. He turned around and saw the grinning faces of his coworkers walking over to him.
“What’re you guys doing here?”
“We had some suspicions, so we bit the bullet and decided to check up on you.”
“And by “check up” you mean follow me?”
The three of them looked at each other, slightly embarrassed at their decision, but were met with Spencer chuckling a moment later.
“You guys are impossible.”
“So who was that pretty lady?”
“Y/N, we met at a coffee shop a few months ago and we’ve been on a few dates. It’s been going pretty well.”
“And she’s a ballerina?”
“Yeah, she’s amazing! I’ve seen her rehearse and this is the second show of hers I’m seeing.”
“If she’s really that good then we gotta see it.”
Penelope flew to buy the tickets, clearly very excited to see the new talent perform. As they all got to their seats and the lighting dimmed, everyone watched the performance with excitement, waiting for your turn.
When the performance ended, you were surprised to see a group of people following Spencer along. One of the ladies, who seemed very eager, walked up to you and gushed about the performance you put on.
“You were so graceful! I haven't seen such light movement in, well, ever!”
The woman’s compliments, who’s name turned out to be Penelope as you made out from the rest of the guests, went straight to your heart.
The other visitors, whose names were Emily and Derek, complimented you on your performance as well, but all your attention was on the man behind them who had an adoring smile on his face, one that was clearly directed at you.
“I wasn’t aware Spencer invited you along.”
“He didn’t. We got curious because he’s been a bit suspicious lately and had to see what was causing it.”
“I mean I knew you all worked for the FBI but I didn’t know you were that nosey.”
Everyone laughed at the comment which made you feel a bit more welcomed along with them.
“What can we say, some things you just can’t help but be curious about.”
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[22k] in attempt to bridge the decades old rivalry between the two gangs, a marriage of alliance is proposed between the new jersey devils and the new york rangers. the last thing you expected was to find yourself offered on a silver platter to your enemies. and you certainly didn't expect your future husband to be the likes of the devils leader himself, nico hischier.
new jersey mob masterlist || nhl mob masterlist
warning: this is a mob au. topics and themes such as violence, blood, murder and gun use are prevalent and constant throughout the fic. please keep that in mind if you choose to proceed with this fic and the whole series.
read part two here
.
“You know I would never question your authority—”
“It sounds like you’re about to question it.”
“Are you really sure this is a good idea?”
The footsteps echoing through the long corridor came to an abrupt stop as Nico stopped walking. The second set stopped shortly after, and he turned to find his second-in-command already looking at him with a mixed expression. It made him sigh, pushing back the meeting they were currently walking to to the back of his mind as he turned to his closest friend and confidante.
The same man he had chosen to stand beside him in this lifestyle of theirs without a moment of hesitation because he knew no one would have his back the way Jesper Bratt did.
“Would there even be a point if I said no? It’s not like we can back out now,” Nico pointed out, and he watched Jesper’s shoulders slump a little like he was expecting that answer.
Jesper gritted his teeth. “I just don’t understand why you are doing this.”
“It’s for an alliance, Jesper, we’ve been over this,” Nico said, and despite himself, his eyes softened a little when he noted the hint of concern in his second-in-command‘s face. “We have too many enemies for our own good. We need to have people we can trust.”
His eyes narrowed. “And you think you can trust them?”
“Just as much as they can trust us,” Nico replied, though the response sounded way too rehearsed and planned, even to his own ears. “We need this as much as they do.”
“We have plenty of enemies you could have negotiated an alliance with,” Jesper pointed out. “We could have strengthened the bond with Philadelphia. Or even the Sabres. Hell, Nico, you could have even tried to fix things with the Panthers down south. Why in loving fuck would you pick the Rangers?”
Nico remained silent.
“Because you want something from them,” Jesper murmured, realisation clicking into place as he carefully noted Nico’s expression. “Or someone.”
“I am doing it for the sake of the gang,” Nico answered simply.
A slow smile spread across Jesper’s face. “Us, huh?”
“Shut up.”
“You know, as your second-in-command, surely I deserve to know what your game plan is.”
“My game plan is to get to this meeting and sign the papers to start a new era of alliance with the New York Rangers,” Nico stated, his voice simple and blunt, but Jesper knew better. “That is all.”
“Nothing else?”
“Nothing else.”
“Hm, sure.”
Nico shot the boy a look over his shoulder, but Jesper just grinned in response.
“I should’ve brought Palat with me instead,” he grumbled under his breath, lips twitching upwards when he heard Jesper let out a noise of disagreement. “C’mon, don’t wanna be late.”
“Please, we are already thirty minutes early.”
“Walk faster.”
…
“Stop making that face.”
Silence.
“You look prettier when you smile.”
Silence.
“Rogue, baby, come on. Don’t be like that—”
Your hand snapped out, your fingers wrapped around his wrist and halting his actions before he could even reach out to touch you. You turned your head to look at him for the first time since you left the house back in New York, your glare icy and cold.
“Don’t try to fucking touch me again.”
Jacob Trouba stared back at you, his face remaining impressively blank but you noted the small twitch in his jaw. It wasn’t often someone talked back to the boss of the New York Rangers and didn’t face some consequence, but you guessed you were getting a pass due to current circumstances.
“Play nice,” he said eventually as he leaned back against his chair. You sat in the seat next to him to his right, with two men settled behind. Jacob had said they didn’t need any more men in the room, but you knew well enough that he would have some of his men crawling within a block radius of the building. “And try not to be too difficult.”
“You picked the wrong woman then,” you retorted, your whole body feeling stiff and on edge as you glanced over at the clock above the door. Two more minutes before the meeting was set to begin. “There’s still time to change. There’s always—”
“Not happening.”
You gritted your teeth together.
“Smile.”
“Don’t fucking test me right now.”
You heard one of the boys choking on a laugh, quickly trying to cover it up with a laugh. You didn’t need to turn your head to know that Jacob was probably glaring at them.
You couldn’t even find it within yourself to smile at the interaction.
When Jacob had called you into his office two weeks ago, you honestly thought he was joking. He had told you about the offer the Devils had offered, a few other members of his inner circle in the room as the lot of you discussed it. Most of you mocked it, talked about how it was a fucking joke that such a deep, historical rivalry was meant to be fixed with one marriage. Jacob himself had made a few teasing comments during the whole thing.
Then, a week later he told you he was actually contemplating it.
And then, just this morning, he gave you next to no warning that it would be you heading across the river to marry one of the Devils boys.
Your reaction was as one expected when they were told they were practically being sold off for the sake of an alliance—you were fucking pissed. You laughed it off but when he didn’t join, you felt an unexplainable rage bubble inside you.
You knew how this world worked. You knew the reality and the politics of mob life. You knew nothing but mob life. And you knew very well the way women were seen in the eyes of the mob, the way they were seen as objects more so than humans. You had seen friends close to you be shipped across the country for the sake of alliance arranged marriages.
But never once did you think it would be you.
Never once did you think Jacob would pull this shit on you.
And for an alliance with the Devils, of all fucking people.
You weren’t the kind of girl that mob men liked. You weren’t quiet or compliant or a pushover. You weren’t the kind of girl they liked to have on their arm to show off. You weren’t the kind of girl to be a mob wife, full stop.
Jacob knew this. He knew it better than anyone. It was the main fucking reason you were close to him, that you had his respect, that you were one of the few people in his inner circle that he trusted beyond belief.
And he had thrown it back in your face.
You hadn’t spoken to him after your initial outburst. Once your throat was raw and your hands were shaking with rage, you had turned on your heel and walked out the room. He had tried to speak to you, quite a few of the boys did. But you remained silent for the whole ride over, for the hours that passed, for the whole day until a few minutes ago.
“You are being fucking ridiculous right now.”
A muscle in your jaw twitched, an overbearing urge to turn in your seat and spit out every thought you had bubbling in your mind since this morning, but your attention was quickly diverted by the sound of the door opening.
You had encountered many of the Devils before, though not many of their faces were familiar and recognisable. It was good to know one’s enemy, to know the strongest and weakest points of their group. You had studied them far more than you cared to admit, probably more so than needed over the years.
However, years of meetings and unfortunate accounts meant you recognised the faces that walked through the door, but the last person still took you by surprise. You knew he would be here, you expected as much.
But never once had you met Nico Hischier in the flesh.
His reputation preceded him. You had heard a lot about the man, most of it surrounding the young age he stepped into power for the Devils. You knew what the other organisations thought about him, the whispers and rumours that travelled outside of New York where the hatred and rivalry wasn’t so prominent.
He was seen to be…fair.
You didn’t think it was necessarily possible to be considered fair in the life you all were in.
“Hischier.”
You watched the man stop at the other side of the table, making a point of dragging the chair out and settling down comfortably. He waited a few moments as his men stood behind him in formation, and only after they were comfortable, did he speak.
“Trouba.”
You could only imagine how much he was seething. A small part of you enjoyed it, even if you didn’t turn to watch his expression closely.
“I assume you still agree to the terms of our deal.” It wasn’t a question, but a statement that laid heavy in the air between the two men.
“As long as nothing has changed on your side.”
Jacob’s lips twitched. “Now, Nico, what kind of man would you take me for? This is about an alliance.”
Nico raised his brows a little. “To the start of a new beginning.”
Jacob’s eyes shifted away from the man he had called his mortal enemy for years now, and instead shifted to you. “Your boys will like her.”
Your jaw clenched.
“A wife isn’t meant to be shared,” Nico retorted, though there was a hint of something in his voice you couldn’t establish. “Though, I am not sure how things are run in New York.”
Jacob laughed, but it wasn’t one of amusement like the room pretended it was. “Of course not. I am sure—”
“Do I get to know who I’m marrying now?” You spoke up, watching as every pair of eyes in the room turned to you. They were heavy and judging and focused, but your expression remained impassive. “Or am I expected to just sign a paper and be done with it?”
Nico’s eyes fell onto you, something swirling in them that felt strong and captivating and almost made you want to lean a little closer to read whatever was written in them. He tilted his head, almost like he was inquiring your words before he spoke.
“You’ll be my wife.”
You froze, blinking.
Understanding washed over Nico’s expression. “You didn’t know.”
“No,” you gritted out, your nails digging into your palm as that bubbling rage from earlier returned. “I did not.”
Nico’s eyes shifted to Jacob, and you resisted the urge to do the same.
“I didn’t see it necessary information to share,” was all Jacob responded with.
You bit your tongue.
“Hm,” Nico hummed, seeming to have a lot more to say but resisting the urge to do so. His eyes lingered on Jacob for a few moments, analysing and observing before his gaze settled on you again. “Are you returning to New Jersey with us, or do you wish to return to New York to collect your things?”
You opened your mouth but Jacob bet you to it.
“She will go with you once the marriage is official.”
Nico didn’t take his eyes off you. “I wasn’t asking you, Trouba.”
You heard someone cough behind you, but you found yourself staring right back at Nico.
He raised his brows in question.
And you could feel Jacob’s eyes boring into your side.
And maybe it was petty or maybe it was fuelled by the lingering anger you had towards the man, but you kept your eyes on Nico as you spoke.
“Might as well get used to New Jersey as soon as I can, no?” You stated simply, but you could have sworn he almost looked pleased with your response before his eyes returned to Jacob.
“Then it’s settled,” he said as he pushed himself off his chair, the two men behind him quickly taking a step closer as if on instinct. “We’ll be sure to send you a wedding invitation.”
…
You thought you had an idea what it would be like to live with the New Jersey Devils, truthfully because you didn’t assume it would be all that different to life with the Rangers. You weren’t naive enough to think both organisations were run the exact same way, but you assumed there would be a lot more similarities than there actually were.
The first thing that caught you by surprise was the way they talked.
You hadn’t spoken a word as you left the room, not taking Nico’s offer to say your goodbyes to the Rangers you had come with. The last thing you needed to hear was an earful from Jacob for not following his orders, or his plan (the one he conveniently kept to himself and expected everyone to simply know). You followed Nico out the door, trying not to feel so on edge about having the two other Devils flanking you from behind.
When you reached the car, it wasn’t too much of a surprise that Nico reached to open your door. Most men were raised to act like gentlemen in this life, even if they were far from it. He waited until you were settled in the seat behind the passenger’s seat, seatbelt clicked in place before he closed the door.
You were somewhat surprised to find him round the car and settle on the other side of the backseat, and not sit in the front. You tried not to stare at him too much.
You expected the drive back to be similar to the journey you had with Trouba this morning. It almost startled you the way the three of them instantly broke out into conversation.
It wasn’t anything damning or secretive, but it still felt wrong to listen in. It felt wrong for them to talk in front of you. It felt like a culture shock, being in a car and not having the people inside the vehicle with you being overly paranoid at the car being tapped. It felt weird that they didn’t even hesitate, didn’t even wait until the dark haired man (the vague memory of his name on the tip of your tongue) in the front had turned the key in the ignition.
“I get to choose the music since I rode shotgun!” The blond in the passenger seat blurted out before the car had even reversed out of its space.
“Fuck off, you like my music!” Nico snapped back.
“Sure, Boss, sure.”
You blinked.
The fact they spoke was one thing, but you certainly didn’t expect them to talk to each other like that. The fact they spoke to Nico—their boss—like that. It was far from what you were expecting.
“Back me up, Siegs,” the blond tried again but the man in the driver’s seat just snorted.
“I don’t care, Jesper,” Jonas replied, though there was a smile on his face.
Jesper let out a huff. “You are so fake in front of him, I know you hate it.”
Jonas only shrugged in response, which made Nico’s smile widen a little.
You tried not to gape at the three of them, but it was a little difficult. It wasn’t like you expected to be treated like an outcast—although, maybe you did—but you certainly weren’t expecting them to seem so…relaxed around you.
The silence that usually filled the Rangers car was nowhere to be seen. The underlying tension between the boss and his men was non-existent. It almost felt like you were sitting in a car full of friends. Maybe even a family.
It was a little disconcerting.
The second thing that caught your attention amongst everything else was the way they treated you.
You knew the expectations of a mob wife. You knew that arranged marriages, like yours and Nico’s, had been happening for decades now. You had seen many play out with your own eyes back with the Rangers, saw what was expected of these women who were thrown into new homes and lives for the sake of alliances, money and more.
It wasn’t a surprise when Nico led you through the house, guiding you upstairs with a hand placed in the dip of your back. The shock came when he stopped suddenly outside a door, turning to you with an expectant look.
“This is your room. I thought you would want to rest for tonight, maybe have some time to yourself,” Nico explained, polite and curt, like a true gentleman. “I can have some dinner sent up to you. And my office is just down the hall. Feel free to knock if you need anything.”
You stared at him with a confused expression.
Nico’s brows furrowed a little in response. “Sorry, is that okay? You look…lost.”
“You said your room,” you said, though the boy still looked a bit confused. “Instead of ours.”
“Oh,” Nico nodded, realisation dawning over his expression before he gave you a polite smile. “My room is the next one over.”
Your eyes narrowed in suspicion. “We aren’t sharing a room?”
“We aren’t married,” he stated simply.
“Do you expect us to share a room after we are married?” You asked.
His expression remained impassive and unreadable. “If you wish so.”
There was a small voice in the back of your head telling you he was being genuine, and yet, somehow, that only made your confusion grow.
“Goodnight, Rogue,” was all Nico said before he headed down the hall, leaving you lost in your own thoughts and suspicions and mixed emotions.
You thought there was nothing less that the New Jersey Devils could do to catch you by surprise. And you were very wrong about that.
You had hardly slept the night before. There was something unsettling being away from the place you had called home your whole life. There was something even more unsettling knowing you were in enemy territory—even if you couldn’t really call it that anymore. There was just something unsettling about lying in a bed, knowing that you didn’t know a single soul beyond the door.
And after tossing and turning, you had mostly given up by the time someone knocked on your door just after nine in the morning.
You had almost expected that yesterday was the last you would see of Nico before he rushed off, hiding away in his office or meetings or whatever other excuses he could make to avoid you. You certainly weren’t expecting to find him on the other side of your door, a polite smile on his face once again.
“Good morning,” he greeted you, his hands tucked behind his back. The sun had barely been in the sky for a few hours and the man was dressed immaculately in a shirt and suit pants, looking far too put together. “Sleep well?”
“Yes,” you lied, because it wasn’t exactly like you wanted to get into the details with your soon-to-be husband. “Can I help you?”
“Oh yes,” he cleared his throat a little, taking a step back and only then did you realise he wasn’t alone. The boy beside him was taller, a little skinnier too. With curly hair and a baby face, you would guess he was at least a couple of years younger than Nico. “This is Luke.”
You glanced over the boy before your gaze returned to Nico. “Is he my babysitter?”
Nico’s lips twitched upwards. “I was going to say bodyguard.”
“Semantics.”
Luke cleared his throat a little, ducking his head down but not fast enough for you not to see the small smirk playing on his lips.
Nico straightened his spine before he spoke, his expression impassive again. “He can help you with whatever you need. And if he can’t, then he knows someone who can.”
“Let me guess,” you started, leaning against the door as you surveyed the older man with a knowing look. “He’s under strict orders to make sure I don’t run off?”
Nico’s brows furrowed together. “Of course not. If you wish to go out somewhere, Luke will accompany you.”
You could only blink in response. You felt as though you had been doing that a lot lately.
“Oh.”
You didn’t remember what else Nico had said before he ran off, muttering something about a meeting and someone called Jack—the name familiar once again—blowing up his phone. Truthfully, you weren’t sure if it mattered. Everything in the last twenty-fours had thrown your life upside down, you didn’t think you could handle much more.
And then Luke turned to you with a shit-eating grin on his face and said, “wanna go get McDonald’s breakfast?”
…
You had come to realise that despite his baby face and slight cartoonish laugh, Luke wasn’t as bad as you expected him to be.
Back in New York with the Rangers, you had crossed paths with your fair share of young and ambitious members. They were dedicated and strong-willed and determined to do anything to prove themselves to the cause, to prove themselves to their boss. They were willing to be ruthless, merciless and cold-hearted.
New Jersey was very different.
There was a strong lack of fear in the air, replaced with something more akin to encouragement. The boys here didn’t fear to make mistakes as badly as you had seen in the Rangers. They followed the rules and did what they were told because they wanted to, because they wanted to thrive. Not because they were scared of what would happen to them otherwise.
Truthfully, you didn’t know how you felt about it.
“Every week?”
“Every week,” Luke confirmed with a nod.
“Without fail?”
“Mhm,” he nodded once again.
“Everyone?”
“Usually,” Luke answered, pausing for a moment before he shrugged. “Unless someone has something else on. But nobody actively goes out of their way to miss it. Candy would kill them.”
You paused for a moment, your brows furrowed together as you tried to put a face to the name, only to come short. In your defence, though it had been close to a week since you arrived, most of your time had been spent with Luke. You would see people here and there, wandering around the house or passing by, and Luke would always try to inform you on who they were as best he could. But there were so many new names and new faces and new…everything to get used to.
You still felt like an outsider wandering the halls.
You still felt pretty pissed that Trouba, or any of the Rangers back home for that matter, hadn’t tried reaching out to you.
You still felt very fucking confused on the fact you had yet to see Nico since the day he brought you to Jersey. It seemed as though he was hiding away to avoid you after all.
“You’ll know her when you see her,” Luke informed you, seeming to pick up on the confusion on your face. “She’s the loud one in colourful clothes who has a guy resembling a lovesick puppy following her around.”
You raised your brows in question.
“Long story,” Luke snorted. “But where Candy goes, John follows.”
You nodded. “And John is…”
“Tall guy, dark curly hair, always silently brooding and judging people,” Luke listed off like it would help. “He kinda looks at you like he wants to kill you.”
You let out a huff of amusement. “You sure he doesn’t just do that to you?”
Luke paused, almost as though he was having a revelation.
Your lips twitched upwards. And then, because apparently you couldn’t keep a nice thing going, you found yourself asking, “are you even supposed to be telling me all this?”
He frowned. “What? That John is kinda emotionally constipated?”
“I—” You paused, your nose scrunching up a little. “What? No. Just about everyone in general.”
Luke stared at you. “Why wouldn’t I tell you?”
“Information,” you replied with a shrug of your shoulders.
“Anyone with two working eyes could see half the shit I tell you,” Luke retorted with a snort. “It’s hardly confidential information when I tell you what a pain in the ass Jack is. Or that Dawson goes through three bottles of shampoo in a month. Or that—”
“That you are scared of spiders?” You interrupted, something close to a teasing smile on your lips as you watched the boy scoff.
“I’m not!” He insisted. “That spider just caught me by surprise.”
“You screamed.”
“I wasn’t expecting to see it.”
And even if you never said it to Luke, it was weird he was being so open with you about the members of the New Jersey Devils. Every piece of information—no matter how small or insignificant—could be used against you. It was a life motto, one ingrained into you when you grew up as a Ranger. It felt like a basic life rule everyone followed.
At least, it did back in New York.
In New Jersey, it seemed like the second you stepped foot onto their premise, they saw you as one of their own. And once you were one of their own, there were no secrets between you. Everyone knew everything about everyone—or at least, a general understanding. No one was shying away from each other, from you.
You didn’t know how you felt about it, but it did make your heart pine for something familiar. For something that felt like home.
And New Jersey would never be that.
…
To your utter surprise, the next time you saw Nico was that following Sunday.
You weren’t naive to think he would be glued to your side, that much was confirmed when he ordered Luke to be your round-the-clock bodyguard. He wanted to keep an eye on you, he just didn’t want to be the person to do it. You were somewhat surprised he didn’t send one of the bigger guys—like Kevin or Kurtis—to be your bodyguard, someone to intimidate you. Though, you assumed he was probably saving them for more important jobs than a glorified babysitter.
Your days had been blurring into one, and though you hadn’t spent much time in Jersey, it had felt like a lifetime.
Your life was stuck in routine and you had gotten pretty used to it by that point.
Luke would be at your door by eight sharp, ready to get the day started. You would share every meal with him, though it varied whether you both bothered in the kitchen or went somewhere out to eat—Luke had been enjoying showing you various places around the city. But that was about as exciting as your days got. You might bump into some others, talk to them, get to know them.
But your days were boring, pointless and repetitive.
The only slight change to your routine was Sunday. The unspoken but very relevant rule of every member attending the dinner, by your surprise, extended to you too. Luke had told you as much over breakfast, talking away about how Candy had been interrogating him on what dishes you would prefer.
You had told him you didn’t care—because you didn’t and you had a feeling it would give him a harder time with Candy, which amused you.
However, Luke had been frustratingly vague with the timings of everything. It wasn’t a big deal, considering you didn’t have much else on your plate to be worried about. But the limited wardrobe and Luke’s shrugged response when asked about the dress code for the dinner was turning out to be quite the issue.
It was somewhere just past seven when you heard three knocks on your door.
“I’m decent!” You called out, frowning at the few options hanging in your wardrobe. It was quite sad, to be honest. But you hadn’t had the chance to get everything transferred from your New York apartment, not that anyone from the Rangers seemed eager to offer their help.
But instead of coming in like he usually did, Luke knocked again.
You frowned, turning to look at the door. “Just come in!”
The door remained shut.
“You’re so dramatic,” you muttered under your breath, rolling your eyes as you made your way towards the door. You reached for the handle, fully prepared to see Luke on the other side with his face in his phone or even giving you a shit-eating grin like he knew he got under your skin.
You were not expecting Nico to be standing on the other side.
“Oh.” You blinked. “I thought you were Luke.”
Nico’s lips twitched. “I gave him the night off.”
You raised your brows. “Oh?”
“There was a small change in plans.” Nico continued. “I thought I would escort you to dinner.”
“Escort me,” you repeated, something quite like amusement lacing your voice. “I didn’t realise these big dinners were so fancy. Should I change?”
“We won’t be joining the others this week. I thought we could have dinner alone,” Nico corrected, his eyes watching you closely like he was inspecting your reaction. “If that is okay with you.”
You tried to hide your surprise that he was giving you an option. A part of you wondered if it was a formality, something he phrased like an option but was really a command—something Jacob would do often. Yet, you couldn’t really find yourself imagining Nico was one of those people.
“Just the two of us?” You questioned.
Nico nodded before he spoke. “I thought it would be best for us to get to know each other.”
Your interest piqued but you didn’t show much as you nodded, telling him to give you a few more minutes before you joined him.
For the dinner itself, he led you away from the large dining room where you assumed the large group dinner was taking place. He didn’t say a word as you walked, seeming comfortable enough in the silence until you reached the room.
And Nico played the part of a gentleman well. He opened the door and guided you in first. He pulled the chair out and waited for you to settle in your seat before he even made his way to his seat. He reached for the wine and filled your glass before even daring to touch his own.
You felt on edge, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
“You look tense.”
You raised your brows. “Just what a woman wants to hear.”
Nico’s lips twitched. “I have a feeling that you wouldn’t care what people say about you.”
“Your feeling would be correct.”
“Your reputation precedes you,” he mused, leaning back against his chair with an ease only a man in power would have.
You tilted your head. “And yet, you still agreed to marry me.”
“Who said your reputation wasn’t what appealed to me the most?” Nico retorted, hiding the smirk on his lips as he took a sip from his wine glass.
“I am sure whatever flowery promises Jacob added definitely sold it,” you commented, unable to hide the bite in your voice.
Nico stared at you for a few moments before he spoke. “I do apologise.”
You raised your brows in questioning.
“For blindsiding you that day,” Nico continued. “I was under the impression you were aware of the contract.”
“Funnily enough, I was not informed my name had been thrown into a deal,” you replied, jaw clenching a little as the reminder of what Jacob had inserted you into washing over you. This was your home now, not New York. “Jacob knew better than to tell me.”
“Well, if it’s any consolation, your name wasn’t officially included,” Nico added.
You paused, a crease forming between your brows. “What do you mean?”
“Just that the official agreement between the Devils and Rangers included me marrying someone but no names were included for technicality reasons,” Nico answered and it took everything in you to keep your face straight.
Up until this point, you were under the impression that Jacob had practically thrown you into the deep end with no warning because your name was the one on the contract. You had seen it time and time again in arranged marriages, you had seen demands to be made because men felt entitled to certain women or dangled them in front of the enemy as a bargaining chip.
If you were being completely honest, you had assumed that was what happened here. You had assumed back and forth negotiations had been made and Jacob had deemed you the best bargaining chip to get whatever he wanted from the Devils. The Rangers tended to be old school and traditional that way.
It never occurred to you that you weren’t a part of this, that you didn’t need to be a part of it.
“So, Jacob just offered me up to fill a spot?” You questioned, your voice remaining steady and calm as your mind swirled with a million thoughts.
Nico’s eyes glimmered with an unreadable emotion. “Something like that.”
Your heart was racing in your chest. “And any woman could be in my spot and the agreement would still remain?”
“I guess so,” Nico stated, seeming like he wanted to say more but he remained quiet.
“Interesting,” you commented, a plan already forming in your head as you reached for your glass. “You may have made a mistake, you know?”
Nico’s lips twitched upwards. “What makes you say that?”
“If this is to be my wedding, I want it to be absolutely perfect,” you said with a casual shrug of your shoulders, staring at the man across the table from you. “I refuse anything less.”
“I wouldn’t expect anything less,” Nico mused before raising his glass in your direction. “Do as you please.”
Your smile widened in response as you took a long sip from your glass.
You were going to break Nico Hishcier and you were going to make sure he sent you running back to New York, if it was the last thing you did.
And then, you would make Jacob Trouba regret even uttering your name into the stupid agreement.
…
“It was targeted?”
Jesper nodded, his face serious and shoulders tensed as he slid a copy of the official police report across the table towards Nico. “Last night,” he said with a heavy sigh. “They broke in, roughed the place up a little and then set it on fire. It didn’t seem like they found whatever they wanted so they burned the place down.”
“Talk about dramatic,” Jack grumbled from his spot on the couch.
Nico shot the younger boy a look before turning back to Jesper. “What did the police say?”
“As much as you would expect,” the blond shrugged. “They don’t want to get involved if it’s dirty work.”
Nico raised a brow. “And is it?”
“You tell me,” Jesper shot back, his jaw clenching. “Did your best friend Trouba mention anything about his boys’ weekend plans to break into one of our warehouses?”
“Bratter is feeling sassy,” Jack sang, snickering even when Jonas tried to jab him with his elbow to keep quiet.
“These attacks have been going on for months,” Jesper pointed out, his lips turned downwards in a frown. “And they aren’t going to stop until we retaliate.”
“We don’t know who is behind it yet,” Nico retorted.
“Of course we fucking do.”
“Jesper,” Nico shot him a look. “I know you don’t like my agreement with Trouba but he wouldn’t break it. We signed the truce.”
“It isn’t official until the wedding,” Jonas spoke up from his spot on the couch next to Jack.
“Jacob Trouba is many things but stupid isn’t one of them,” Nico sighed, ignoring the ‘ehhhh’ Timo muttered out as he leaned back in his chair. “And it would be incredibly stupid to target the people you are trying to sign an alliance with.”
“Still,” Jesper grumbled as he nodded at the police report. “One week earlier and half of our stock could have been up in flames.”
Timo raised his brows. “You think someone knew?”
“I think someone may be getting delayed information,” Jesper corrected.
“I want you and Timo investigating this,” Nico said as he tapped his finger on the file. “Dig out the reports from the other targeted attacks and—”
RING! RING! RING!
Nico frowned a little as the shrill of his phone echoed through the room. He ignored the boys’ curious looks as he reached for it, answering the call and lifting it to his ear. “Nico Hischier speaking.”
“Uh, Mr Hishcier, so sorry to bother you,” a mousy, timid voice spoke from the other side. “This is Jeff from the bank calling and—”
“Get on with it, Jeff,” Nico stated bluntly.
“Right, yes. Uh, there has been a suspicious amount of transactions coming out of your bank today and we wanted to inform you in case you wished us to freeze the accounts or—”
Nico tried to bite back his smile. “Where are these transactions coming from?”
“The last one to go through was a purchase of four hundred thousand dollars for…flowers?”
This time Nico actually let out a loud, boisterous laugh which caught both Jeff and the boys in his study off guard.
“What was the one before that?” Nico asked, clearly amused.
“Three hundred dollars spent at…McDonalds.”
“Keep letting them through,” Nico assured the man on the other side of the phone. “That’s just my fiancée having some fun.”
“Oh. Right. Sorry, Mr Hischier, and congratulations!”
Nico thanked the man before hanging up, throwing his phone back down on the desk before he turned his attention back to the meeting they were having. However, he seemed to pick up on the eerie silence and lifted his head to find all of the boys looking at him with various expressions painted across their faces.
“Out with it then,” Nico said eventually.
“Count on Nico bagging the most expensive fiancée in New York,” Timo teased, a shit-eating grin on his face.
But Nico just shrugged. “It’s her wedding day. She wants it to be perfect.”
“Even if it leaves you bankrupt,” Jonas snorted.
“As long as she’s happy,” Nico answered, sincere in his words.
“If only Trouba knew how whipped you were for his girl, he would have never agreed to the deal,” Jack commented, raising his hands in mock surrender when Nico turned to glare at him.
“She’s not Trouba’s girl,” Nico gritted out.
“Yikes, Boss has claws.”
“Anyone with a pair of eyes can see how whipped Nico is,” Jesper commented with a huff of laughter. “Trouba is, in fact, stupid if he didn’t notice. Now, can we please get back to the main problem before he starts singing limericks.”
Nico frowned. “Hey—”
“My money is on the Sabres being involved!”
“As if they even know how to light a match.”
…
“You look like you have had a busy day.”
You turned your head to find Nico standing in the door entrance, leaning against the frame as his eyes wandered over the dozens of bags in your room. His hands were tucked into his pockets, his sleeves were rolled to his elbows and a few strands of hair were falling into his face. It almost annoyed you that this was the most dishevelled you had seen him and he still looked so good and put-together.
“I decided to take it slow,” you answered casually, turning back around before you could see the smile tugging on his lips. “I didn’t want to scare Luke off too soon.”
“The boy is tougher than he looks,” Nico commented. “I am sure he can handle whatever you throw at him.”
Your lips twitched. “You weren’t the one listening to him whine about carrying a couple of bags.”
“A couple is an understatement,” Nico mused. “He’s still unpacking the car with Dawson’s help.”
You glanced over your shoulder, something victorious and smug shining in your eyes. “Is there a problem with that?”
Nico flashed you a smile. “My money is your money. My boys are your boys. Knock yourself out, schatz.”
You blinked, his words barely processing in your head before you realised he had already begun walking away. You glanced down at the countless bags littering your bedroom floor, most of them useless purchases you picked up to push the balance higher.
And yet, Nico just walked away without a care in the world.
…
“I really wouldn’t recommend this.”
“Then it’s a good thing I’m not listening to you.”
“Rogue—”
You rolled your eyes, listening to the satisfying clicks of your heels against the floor as you made your way down the corridor. “He’s my fiancé.”
“He is in a meeting,” Luke shot back. “He doesn't like being interrupted. Not even by us.”
“I’m not you,” you retorted, almost hearing the eye roll from the younger boy following behind you. “And I don’t care if he is in a meeting, he can make time for me.”
“That’s not how it works,” Luke muttered under his breath.
“It is now.”
“God, I’m going to have to plan a funeral.”
You ignored the boy’s last feeble attempts to stop you from going through with it—or to at least knock on the door—but it was hopeless as you reached Nico’s study, hand on the knob and opening the door before Luke could even think to pull you back. Or throw you over his shoulder and run back down the corridor.
The room fell silent as you stood in the doorway.
You didn’t recognise the men sitting across from Nico at the large desk. They were old and burly and quite literally looked like characters out of Sopranos. They turned to face you, eyebrows furrowed and lips turned downwards at the interruption.
You smiled in response.
“What’s the meaning of this?” One of them spoke, the Jersey accent strong and thick and coating his words generously. “We’re doin’ business here, sweetheart. Bounce!”
You glanced at the man, unfazed before you turned your gaze towards Nico who was watching you with interested eyes. “I need to talk to you.”
“We are busy here, lady, can’t you see?” The other man spoke, huffing and puffing in his seat and it took everything inside you not to roll your eyes at his tantrum.
“And now I’m busy with him,” you stated simply, arms crossed over your chest as you stepped further into the room. “Scram. You are done here.”
The first man huffed, puffing his chest out as he opened his mouth to say something but Nico cut him off.
“Go.”
Both men turned to Nico, angry and outraged. “You cannot be serious?!”
“Go,” Nico repeated himself, a little more firmly this time.
The men were smart enough not to test Nico’s patience any further, rushing out the room with their tails between their legs as they did. It almost made you smile the way they avoided your gaze as they did so. You heard Luke let out a sigh behind you, muttering something under his breath as he followed the other men out and closed the door behind him.
“You’ve intrigued me,” Nico spoke up, leaning back against his chair. “What could possibly be so important that you needed to discuss it with me?”
You grinned as you lifted the folders in your hand. “Wedding venues.”
Nico blinked. “Wedding venues?”
“Wedding venues,” you repeated, your eyes eagerly watching every inch of his face for a reaction.
It took years of training to school your features as Nico nodded you over, still relaxed in his chair as he smiled back at you. Back in New York, a move like this would’ve gotten you killed and yet here—
“Show me,” he replied.
Your eyes stayed on his face, waiting for a slip up as you walked towards his desk. You rounded the piece of furniture, pushing the boundary a little bit more as you hopped up on the desk and placed the folder down beside you rather than handing it to him.
“Comfortable?” He asked, his voice almost sounding playful as he reached for the folder.
“I’ve sat on more comfortable desks,” you commented offhandedly.
His eyes darkened a little at that. But before you could even bring yourself to comment on it, he was already opening the folder and scanning through the options.
They were obscene, if you were completely honest. They were tacky and loud and far from a place you would even step foot in, let alone have your wedding in. But they were expensive—so expensive that it would send a normal man into cardiac arrest to see the numbers beside each venue.
Then again, Nico Hischier wasn’t a normal man.
“Which one would make you happiest?” He eventually asked, lifting his head to look at you expectantly.
Your eyes narrowed. “Are you that incapable of making a decision, Hischier?”
His lips twitched. “And if I say I just want you happy?”
“I would say that is a weak man’s response,” you replied, lifting your chin a little. It was a testy comment to make, not one that many men in power would take lightly.
To your shock, Nico just laughed. “Then I say pick the church.”
You raised your brows a little—the church was the most expensive option on the list.
“Do you disagree?” Nico followed up, watching the way you stared at him with an odd look in your eyes.
“No,” you said as you took the folder from him. “The church will do.”
“Is that all?” Nico asked, something in his voice that you couldn’t quite put your finger on. It was like he was eager, whether that was for you to leave or stay, you couldn’t quite work out.
“Yes,” you answered, though you made no move to slide off the desk just yet. “Seeing as I have nothing else to do in this place. Just a sweet, complying fiancée doing her duties and planning a wedding.”
Nico’s eyes glimmered in interest. “Sweet sums you up pretty well, no?”
Your eyes narrowed in a glare.
“I mean, by all means, take the honeymoon planning off my hands if that is what you want,” Nico continued, shifting a bit closer so your foot was nudging his thigh. You were almost distracted by the casual drop of information about the honeymoon he was apparently planning.
“You’re mocking me,” you stated bluntly.
“A little,” he mused.
“You know my reputation,” you added. “Surely you knew what kind of wife I would be.”
“I had my guesses,” Nico confirmed with a nod.
“And yet, here we are.”
“Here we are indeed,” Nico grinned. “Do you want to reserve the venue or shall I?”
It was safe to say Luke steered clear of you for the rest of the day following your mood after you left Nico’s study.
…
“You don’t get it,” Luke huffed, fingers tapping along the wheel. “This is the best bakery on the east coast, maybe even the whole country!”
You raised your brows. “Is that so?”
“Just wait until you try Peter’s strawberry tarts,” Luke insisted, so serious that it took everything inside you to not snort. “It’s like…heaven in your mouth.”
“Peter is just that good, huh?” You mused.
“You’re teasing me now but you will be wanting the guy to make your wedding cake after you try some of his desserts,” Luke stated confidently.
You had no real plan for today other than the desperate need to get out of the house. You were bored out of your mind and Luke was not too far behind, considering you spent almost every waking hour with the boy. It had been an offhand comment about wanting something sweet that made the boy grab your hand and drag you out of the house.
Luke was adamant that Peter’s Bakery in Hoboken was the best bakery in the state. You had been content to just sit in the passenger seat and let the younger boy ramble on about how all the Devils frequented there, that Candy was known to visit once a week, that Jack tended to hide out there after a particularly bad day.
It was endearing to hear about the place.
It was even more endearing that Luke trusted you enough to take you there, even if you wouldn’t dare to admit that out loud.
“Pete?”
“One sec!”
Luke glanced at you over his shoulder, grinning wider than you had ever seen before turning back to the counter. A few moments passed before a man walked out: brown hair, average build, a little mousy looking. And the apron covered in flour truly added to the baker charm.
“Moose,” the boy greeted with a large smile. “What can I get for my second favourite Hughes?”
Luke rolled his eyes but began listing off far too many pastries and sweet treats for two people to enjoy.
Five minutes later, you found yourself sitting across from the boy in a booth with a large variety of baked goods laid out on the table in front of you. It was borderline overwhelming and intense but you didn’t have the heart to stop Luke from ordering so much when he kept insisting on all the classics you had to try.
“So,” you began as the boy pushed a slice of apple pie towards you. “Moose?”
“It’s an old nickname,” Luke answered with a halfhearted shrug.
You raised a brow. “How old?”
Luke’s lips twitched. “Peter is an old friend of mine and Jack’s. He…he’s been there for us through a lot.”
“Because our line of business crosses paths with bakers so often,” you mused, lighthearted and playful. You could tell the words were heavier than he was letting on but you didn’t have the heart to start poking at old wounds. Not today.
Luke snorted. “Nah, he needed to lay low after some close calls. He made some deal with Nico. Boss offers him protection, he offers the best apple pie you will ever have in your entire life.”
You shot a glance towards the other boy, working away behind the counter with a sense of ease that told you he was comfortable, that he felt safe even being so out in the open and exposed to the public. It wasn’t something you saw often in this industry when people had a target on their back.
“He did?” You asked, your voice a little softer than before.
“He’s a good guy, you know,” Luke murmured in response, watching your expression closely.
“He has a reputation for being fair,” you commented absentmindedly. “Which is a load of bullshit when it comes to our work.”
“Not with Nico,” Luke retorted. “He is harsh when he needs to be. But he is understanding. He gets it.”
“Hm,” was all you could respond with, your mind spiralling with a million different stories of men in power that exploited and corrupted the world around them in the greedy hunt for more. You had seen men crumble under that desire, you had seen them sacrifice their lives and loved ones to get what they want.
You couldn’t imagine someone having all that power and not being corrupted by it.
“Hey,” Luke whined, all youngest child like, as he lightly kicked your shin under the table. “Stop procrastinating and try the pie!”
You rolled your eyes, making a show of grabbing the fork and cutting off a good sized chunk before shovelling it in your mouth.
Luke looked at you expectantly. “So?”
“It’s good.”
He blinked before frowning. “Just good? Are your taste buds broken?”
“Fine, it’s very good,” you corrected with a small smile on your lips. “But it’s not the best apple pie I have ever had.”
Luke raised his brows. “Oh yeah? And where was that?”
“Tony’s Tiny Bakery,” you shot back, watching as the boy huffed across from you. “It was around the corner from this cute Italian place that did amazing garlic bread too. I’ll have to take you one day, it’s only—”
And then you paused.
And it was stupid to say when you had quite literally spent the better part of the last few weeks in your new home, when you had been coming up to the three month mark in New Jersey. But it hit you that you would never see New York again, not in the way you had growing up.
You were a New Jersey Devil now. You had a new home and new territory. You had a new family you were supposed to be accepting. You weren’t able to step back in the city you grew up in, not without direct permission from the people you used to call your family.
You had been so pissed that day when Jacob had thrown you into the deep end of an arranged marriage you had never known about that you wanted to get him back, you wanted to hit him where it hurt and have one last act of defiance. You had walked away from New York with no proper goodbye because you knew it wasn’t what he wanted.
And truthfully, it wasn’t what you wanted either.
You never got the chance to say goodbye to such a large part of your life and identity. You never got the chance to say goodbye to the people who raised you and the people you grew up with. You never got the chance to visit your favourite places in New York with the freedom of being a Ranger before you jumped ship.
It never really hit you that you missed New York as much as you did.
“I get it.”
You almost jumped in your seat when you felt a hand over your own, when you blinked away the tears welling up in your eyes to find Luke smiling fondly from the other side of the booth. You tried to pull your hand away and pretend everything was okay, but the boy tightened his hold on you.
“I know what it’s like to leave the only place you called home,” Luke murmured, his voice soft but thick with emotion. “It gets easier.”
You nodded, swallowing the ball in the back of your throat before you flashed him a small smile. “This apple pie is pretty damn good.”
Luke’s smile widened. “Of course it is. I don’t mess around when it comes to food, Rogue. Catch up.”
You let out a small but genuine laugh in response.
…
“How quickly can you get dressed?”
Your eyes wandered over your magazine page towards the boy standing at the bottom of the couch you were currently laying on. He was dressed in his usual attire—the shirt, dress pants and nice shoes that probably cost more than the average man’s monthly salary—and raised your brows.
“Depends,” you answered as you lowered the magazine you were halfheartedly reading to rest on your stomach. “Get dressed as in ‘we are walking around the park’ or ‘we are about to go to a gala’?”
Nico smiled a little. “More ‘wear something that is comfortable and easy to carry guns on you’.”
Now that caught your attention.
You sat up on the couch, the magazine abandoned on the pillow beside you as you stared at the boy with interest. “You’re taking me on a job?”
“I was hoping to use your expertise for something,” Nico said with gentle but watchful eyes. “Are you in?”
“Give me fifteen minutes,” was all you responded with before walking past the boy and towards your bedroom.
Less than thirty minutes later, you found yourself slipping out of Nico’s car and looking at the absolute mess in front of you with raised brows, a low whistle of surprise leaving your lips as you took in the damaged property.
“And this was done recently?”
“Two weeks ago,” Nico confirmed with a nod, frowning at the warehouse with a look of frustration and annoyance. “Third warehouse chosen. Fourth targeted attack.”
You glanced at him. “What was the other?”
“A person,” Nico frowned. “We were lucky that their plan failed, which is why I assume they began to target buildings instead.”
“Coward move,” you frowned, choosing to ignore the way Nico snorted a little at your response. “What did the warehouse hold?”
“Just some of our basic exports,” Nico shrugged.
Your eyes widened a little.
He frowned. “What?”
“Nothing,” you shrugged, clearly your throat a little. “Just a little surprised you told me, to be honest. I thought you would have given some weird elusive answer.”
His frown deepened a little. “Why would I do that?”
“Because I’m a glorified stranger,” you retorted like it was obvious.
“You’re my fiancée,” Nico corrected, his voice still serious and sincere as he spoke. “What’s mine is yours.”
You swallowed a little at his intensity. “So this mess is mine too?”
“Just like everything else I own,” he said with a nod. “And as much as is your right to be here as my fiancée, I also brought you because you’re smart. Because you know how to get in people’s heads. Because you’ll be able to spot things neither me nor the others will see.”
“Trouba’s favourite tool,” you deadpanned.
“You’re your own person here, Rogue,” Nico assured you, something else written in his expression that you couldn’t quite read. “It’s something you should get used to. You’re a Devil now.”
You didn’t get much of a chance to reply before he wandered towards the desolate warehouse, footsteps crunching with every step he took whilst you were left slightly baffled by the enigma that was Nico Hischier.
…
“So, is she in love with you yet?”
Nico shot Jack a look.
“Because from what Luke’s told me, she has been doing everything under the sun to piss you off. And I’m no expert in love but that doesn’t seem like something someone in love would do,” Jack continued as he settled happily on the couch in Nico’s study—one of his favourite spots.
“Did I not give you a job?” Nico asked bluntly, leaning back in his chair and sighing. He knew there was no point of attempting to do any more work whilst the younger boy was in the room.
“Yeah but we both know I’ll get to it eventually,” he waved the older man off, his hands tucked behind his head as he lounged back on the comfy couch. “This is far more entertaining.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Nico sniffed.
“I have seen you shoot a man between his eyes without a second thought,” Jack mused, the glee in his voice unmissable as he continued to tease the older man. “And yet, I watched you have a full breakdown to Dougie on whether or not your fiancée would prefer your hair slick back or product free on the off chance you bumped into her that day.”
“I like to make a good impression,” Nico retorted.
“You’re trying to seduce her and failing miserably,” Jack shot back.
“She is my fiancée,” Nico huffed out.
“She is the girl you have been downright obsessed with since she knocked you on your ass four years ago,” Jack corrected. “And she doesn’t even remember.”
“I was undercover,” Nico defended. “Pally hardly recognised me that day, too.”
“Are you listening to yourself, Hisch?” Jack questioned, his brows raised in amusement. “This is getting a little pathetic.”
Nico let out a heavy sigh, raising his hand towards Jack for him to continue. “Okay then, what do you suggest?”
“Less mind games and playing the elusive mob boss character you’ve been trying out,” Jack answered, his voice a hint softer than before and it caught him off guard, “Be Nico—the real version.”
“That was very High School Musical of you,” Nico teased.
“I knew it was a bad idea letting you watch those movies,” Jack playfully groaned but he was grinning back. “I take it back, put the scary mob boss face back on. She is gonna laugh you back to Switzerland if you quote that shit to her.”
“She could be a fan,” Nico pointed out.
But Jack just shot him a look. “I know you’re blinded by love and all that jazz, but even you have to know that is a load of bullshit.”
“Go do you work now, Jack.”
The younger boy gave him a mock salute. “On it, Boss.”
…
In your mind, the plan was full proof, effective and successful.
In reality, it was a form of torture that didn’t have the results you wanted and instead left your brain scrambled on whether you really wanted it to work or not.
When you stepped out of that meeting room months ago, you were under the impression you were stuck in this arranged marriage with Nico Hishcier. A week later, you thought you had a loophole and a clear path back to New York and the life you had.
Instead, you were laying in your bed and reeling that although you may not be the typical mob wife, Nico Hishcier was far from the typical mob boss. And it was completely fucking with your plan.
And maybe you weren’t fully ready to admit it but it was fucking with your desire to go back home too—if New York even felt like home anymore. New Jersey was a breath of fresh air that you never knew you needed, that you never knew you wanted.
The Rangers may have been your family once upon a time, but the Devils felt more like the word than the former ever had. You felt like you were watching the family of them through a window, and you were starting to realise maybe being on the inside wouldn’t be so bad as you thought. Maybe being in a place where they valued and listened to you wouldn’t be so bad either.
But New York was all you ever knew, was all you ever thrived in. It was hard to just throw that all away.
Even if Nico Hischier was making the option of staying very appealing.
Even when some of the other Devils—the ones that weren’t your biggest fans—felt more welcoming than the boys back in New York.
Exhibit A: Jesper Bratt.
Nico had pulled Luke out for the day, saying he needed the boy’s help with a different job. He hadn’t offered to put anyone in Luke’s place. To be honest, you think Luke was only continuing with it because he enjoyed spending time with you too. But it had been Jesper who offered himself into Luke’s role when you had mentioned visiting a few shops in town by yourself.
It didn’t take a genius to work out he was suspicious of you.
You didn’t take it to heart, not really. He wasn’t going out of his way to make you uncomfortable or wary, but the lingering tension was enough to make you observe him with the same watchful gaze.
“You don’t like me.”
Jesper’s eyes flickered to meet yours in the rearview mirror before returning to the road. “I never said that.”
“You didn’t have to,” you said with a shrug of your shoulders. “It’s written all over your face. And the extra gun you slipped into your waistband before we left.”
His cheeks burned a little at your words.
“It’s fine,” you assured him. “You’re his second-in-command. It’s your job to be wary, to have Nico’s back.”
Jesper hummed but didn’t say anything right away.
Instead, a few minutes of silence passed as you two made your way through usual Jersey traffic. The radio was on, but turned on so low that the two of you could barely hear it. The streets were busy, even for a random Thursday afternoon. It was like the world was going on as normal, despite the lingering tension in the car between you and the blond.
“I do like you,” Jesper said eventually. “I just don’t trust you.”
“Because you think I’m going to betray the Devils?” You guessed.
“Because I think you are capable of hurting Nico far worse than a gunshot or a knife in the back ever could,” Jesper corrected, seeming to catch the surprise on your face.
“You think I would hurt him?” You questioned, ignoring the way your stomach twisted at the words. Growing up in this life had meant you had seen far worse than a gunshot or a knife in the back, had meant you had done much worse. And yet the idea of any of it being directed towards Nico seemed to leave you on edge and make the hairs on the back of your neck rise.
“I think you are capable of a lot without even realising it,” Jesper answered honestly.
You didn’t reply to the blond but you wondered if your return to New York would hurt Nico.
You wondered why it made your chest feel tight and uncomfortable.
…
“So how did you get the nickname?”
You blinked out of your thoughts, looking over at Luke who was walking by your side. “What?”
“Rogue,” he said with a nod, like that was enough of an explanation. “Nicknames stick in this industry. So, where did you…go rogue to get it?”
You let out a small snort of laughter. “How do you not know it’s my actual name?”
Luke glanced at you, his brows furrowed together. “Is it?”
“No,” you grinned at him before shrugging. “I don’t know, to be honest. I just…never did well with listening to people’s instructions. It was a nickname my father gave me and I guess it just stuck.”
“You listened when Trouba sent you here though,” Luke pointed out, unfazed by the glare you sent his way. You assumed that was bound to happen after you spent almost every day with the boy for the last few months or so. He was bound to feel comfortable enough to poke at the uncomfortable subjects.
“Because I’m stubborn not stupid,” you shot back, giving the boy a look. “I value my life.”
Luke frowned. “You think he would’ve killed you if you didn’t comply?”
“He’s killed people for less,” you shrugged but noted the way the boy still looked uncomfortable, unsettled even. “He wouldn’t have killed me. I’m too valuable, even if I’m disrespecting him. He probably would’ve just put me on some really shit jobs until his ego was healed.”
Luke nodded, still looking quite on edge.
“Luke,” you stopped walking, placing your hand on his arm to catch his attention and make him stop too. Logically, you knew that he was a grown man and he could handle his own emotions. Especially in an industry like this. But another part of you—the part that had spent the last few months with the boy almost every day—felt the need to wipe that frown off his face. “It’s fine now. And it doesn’t matter.”
“Does it not?” Luke shot back at you. “You’ve been trying your hardest to find a loophole out of here, have you not? But you still want to go back there? Back to him? Even after everything he’s done to you?”
You blinked.
“I’m young but I’m not stupid,” Luke huffed out, shaking his head as he took a step back. “It’s—whatever. Let’s just go. You said you wanted to check out that shoe store?”
You took a step forward. “Luke—”
“We should head over now before heading back to the house. We—” He paused before continuing. “I don’t want to be late for dinner.”
…
You didn’t see Luke over the next few days.
He had sent a brief message about being busy wrapped up in a job Nico gave him, which albeit wasn’t the best excuse but you let him off. You weren’t sure what upset him and you didn’t think poking around and asking more questions would do any favours. So, you let the boy take his space and take his time.
It was Luke.
You had no doubts that he would talk to you again when he wasn’t as worked up or upset about the situation.
But the lack of daily companion left you feeling quite lonely, which was ironic considering you had considered your whole stay in New Jersey to be quite lonely as an outcast. You hadn’t realised just how much you relied on Luke’s company until he wasn’t knocking on your door every morning, convincing you to try some new outrageously overpriced cafe using Nico’s card to pay.
You broke around the third day, deciding to seek out your own company in the form of your fiancé.
“I was told you would be here.”
Nico lifted his head, peeking out from under the hood of the car he was currently hunched over. He glanced at you, an expression between surprised and elated as you stood on the opposite side of the garage.
“Is that so?”
“Mhm,” you nodded, glancing around the large garage with eagle eyes. “Apparently this is how you spend your limited free time.”
Nico stood up straight, giving you a full look at the white tank top clinging onto his torso. It was criminal the way wiped his hands on a random rag, his biceps clenching with the movement before he tossed it to the side and gave you his full attention.
“I like fixing up old cars,” Nico said with a shrug, though there was a sense of ease in his posture. “It’s relaxing.”
You blinked. “Tinkering around with some old metal is calming? Even if you can’t get it running?”
He laughed. “It takes my mind off things.”
“How…mundane,” you responded, your brows furrowed together as you glanced at the few cars dotted around the garage. You didn’t know enough to know the brands or names of any of them. You didn’t even try to attempt it.
“Mundane is nice sometimes, especially with the lives we live,” Nico retorted and you were inclined to agree.
“This still seems stressful though,” you added.
Nico leaned against the car, arms crossed over his chest like he knew it would snag your gaze. “And what would you recommend I do?”
“I don’t know, something normal people do to relax,” you shrugged your shoulders. “Like, go on a picnic.”
Nico paused, staring at you as he tried to fight the grin off his face. “A picnic?”
“I don’t know!” You threw your hands up in mock surrender. “People do it all the time in movies and shit.”
“What movies are you watching?” Nico laughed, though he seemed to enjoy watching the way you tried to hold back your own amusement.
“They have picnics in plenty of movies,” you argued back.
“Alright then,” Nico nodded. “Then we will do it. You and me, tomorrow at twelve.”
You blinked. “What?”
“We are gonna have a picnic and be normal,” Nico stated, leaving no room for questions as he reached for the rag once again. “Unless you have some super normal thing you do to take your mind off things to do instead?”
You bit the inside of your cheek. “Shooting range.”
“That’s what I thought,” he snorted as he flashed you a grin. “Me and you, schatz, at twelve. Don’t be late.”
…
A small part of you thought Nico was joking about the picnic.
A larger part of you knew the boy would be knocking on your door by half past eleven, dressed in a pair of jeans and a hoodie and looking so normal. So unlike the mob boss you know him to be.
And the white bucket hat on his head was oddly endearing.
In complete honesty, you hadn’t expected much from the picnic and how seriously the boy would take it. Though, you should have known better when he parked his car, an excited smile on his face as he led you towards the grassy patch in the park where a blanket and wicker basket had been laid out.
“Oh wow,” you murmured out as you walked towards the scene, his palm warm and guiding on the small of your back.
“Really fits the movie vibes, huh?” Nico retorted with a knowing smile.
You snorted. “I feel so normal right now.”
“Then my job here is done,” he smiled as he leaned back on the blanket, balanced on his elbows as he looked up at you.
You were surprised how far he ran with a passive comment. You wondered what it must have looked like to people passing by the two of you, if you looked like a normal couple on a date, enjoying a sweet picnic together. You wondered if it even counted as a date at all.
It was ironic that the man beside you had been your fiancé for the better part of the last four months and you didn’t know much about him, that neither of you knew each other all that well.
“What’s your favourite colour?”
Nico paused, looking up from the small plates he was loading up for the two of you. “My favourite colour?”
“Yeah,” you nodded.
“Red.”
“Favourite kind of music?”
“Swiss rap.”
“Favourite animal?”
“I don’t think I have one.”
“Cat person or dog person?”
“Both.”
Your nose scrunched up. “You can’t be both. That’s cheating.”
Nico raised his brows in amusement. “I don’t think I can cheat at a game I don’t know.”
“Just wanted to know what kind of man I am marrying,” you replied with a shrug of your shoulders.
“Is there where you tell me that being a cat person is your deal breaker?” Nico joked.
Your lips twitched. “It would be something I would have to take into consideration.”
“Might have to keep some secrets to save my marriage then,” Nico said with a sigh, the skin around his eyes crinkling as he smiled. You don’t think you had ever noticed that before. It was weird seeing someone in his position show any emotion but intimidation so easily.
You raised your brows. “Doesn’t everyone have a few skeletons in the closet?”
“Is this your subtle way of asking me what mine are?” He questioned, pushing the plate towards you. You were surprised to find a few of your favourite snacks on the plate. You wondered if he had bothered Luke or someone else to find out, or if it was a lucky guess.
“Would you tell me if I asked?” You shot back.
“I would tell you anything if you asked,” Nico replied, the playfulness replaced by sincerity that made your brain spiral a little.
“You know,” you tried to laugh it off. “I don’t think many people in this life agree with you there.”
“I’m not them and you’re not their fiancée,” he answered with a shrug. “Who gives a fuck what they think?”
You looked at him with a mixed expression. “And you’d answer anything I ask you right now?”
He gestured for you to continue. “Try me.”
You tilted your head, taking a few moments to contemplate before you spoke. “Did you know I was going to be the one waiting for you in that room?”
“I did,” he confirmed with a nod.
“And you had no issues with that?”
His lips twitched. “Quite the opposite.”
You shot him a curious look. “And if Jacob had lied to you? If there was someone else in the room?”
“I would have refused the alliance,” he stated simply, like he was reiterating a well-known fact.
You snorted. “Yeah, okay.”
“I would have,” Nico insisted, his expression remaining dead serious.
Your smile faltered a little. “Nico.”
“Rogue,” he mocked in the same tone of voice.
“You don’t have to lie to me,” you murmured.
Nico frowned. “Who said I was lying?”
“You would have refused an alliance that would massively benefit you?” You retorted, your brows furrowed a little. “Don’t be stupid.”
“Both sides went into that alliance wanting something,” Nico answered with a heavy look in his eyes, one that you couldn’t quite read. “I knew what I wanted and I wasn’t signing shit for anything but that.”
“And that was me?” You teased because the conversation was getting serious and your heart felt like it was in your throat and you were pretty sure you would lose your mind if Nico kept staring at you with those intense eyes. You were also pretty sure you would lose your mind if he looked away.
“Yes.”
You blinked, waiting for him to laugh but he didn’t.
“What?”
“I think you heard me clearly enough the first time,” Nico mused, watching the way a million emotions passed over your face.
“Oh,” was the only response you could come up with.
“Still don’t believe me?” Nico questioned, something like amusement in his voice. Something quite like a challenge too. Like he was expecting you to call him out on it, like he had been waiting for the chance to prove himself.
“And if I don’t?” You murmured, a little more breathless than you intended.
You watched as his eyes dropped to your lips, lingering for a few moments. “Then I’ll find a way to prove it.”
You opened your mouth to say something, though you weren’t even sure what. You didn’t know if you were going to beg for him to do it, to prove it. You didn’t know if you were going to tell him to stop playing whatever game he was playing. You didn’t know if you were going to tell him to fuck the vague, elusive chat and to just fucking kiss you already.
You were pretty sure it was most likely going to be the last option.
But you never got the chance to even utter a word before the loud, high-pitched shrill of a phone broke the moment.
You blinked, quickly glancing away and taking a few moments to ground yourself as Nico quickly sat up on the blanket. He patted his pockets before slipping his phone out, answering it with a slight peeved off look on his face.
However, that quickly changed when the person on the other side of the phone began speaking, the words muffled but the urgent tone was clear even to you.
It took less than a few seconds before Nico was scrambling to get up, abandoning the basket and blanket before he nodded for you to get up too. His hand was a little more pushy as he directed you towards his car, his face serious and almost murderous as he quickly got in the car, racing to turn it on.
“It’s Jack,” was all Nico could mutter out for context before the two of you were racing towards the house.
.
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