#like neither of us wanted it to go anywhere anyway
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sepetajmikolikomehoces · 9 hours ago
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Okay, I have finally recuperated after yesterday's getting home-snafu. In the process of trying to get to the train station, I ended up missing my train and the only available options was either paying an assload for an evening train ticket or a slightly smaller assload for an even later evening train ticket.
Smaller assload it was.
Anyway.
Good GOD what a weekend. Putting it under the cut.
I have been so hyped about seeing Kuumaa since we got tickets in February and fucking hell if just the prospect of seeing them hasn't carried me through this year amidst finalizing my divorce and dealing with the aftermath of that on top of work and school.
The friend group I have been so lucky to be welcomed into realized that four of us would be going to Kuumaa, and when we found out Kä would perform at Tullikamari the day after we all realized we could go and bought tickets, deciding along the way to make a pikkujoulut-weekend of it complete with secret santa and everything.
Kuumaa are just... insane live. I had some expectations, but I was not ready for Johannes kicking us off with a very stripped down version of "Tarkotin sua". Everything after that was just highlight after highlight. Some of the songs from their earliest album were slightly unfamiliar to me, but still fucking slapped. Bawled my eyes out during "Luotan tulevaan" as predicted, had chills down my spine for all of "Tuiki tuiki" and felt like my soul was soaring as 10 000 of us sang along to "Ylivoimainen". Insane, and it took me a while to land from that experience and fall asleep later.
Saturday was Kä day with my beloved potatoes @frikatilhi @harmaanoita @punanenmarli @meerkathideout and @maladroitoracle. Gifts were exchanged, Marli also got an additional late birthday/early Christmas gift in the form of a Fisherman's rib cardigan, and my lovely meerkat got their very own Jure sweater.
This was probably the absolute chillest pregigging ever, and I want to do this every time. We piled six people into a car meant for five and went and had pasta dinner at a place near Tullikamari, then showed up just as doors had opened. Still got an excellent view, and holy shit, THE GIG.
So many people have already talked about how incredible the gig was and I can only echo the sentiment. "Ready to go" is the fucking BEST opening song, Kä was so happy all throughout the gig, the yapping was A+ and I fucking died when we got "Rock Rock" AND "Menestynyt yksilö" on the setlist. Getting "Urheilujätkä" after some chanting was just the cherry on top, and of course Jesse was missed, but if nothing else, this is proof of how beloved he is.
Had the most fucking Fenno-Swedish encounter post-gig. Guy comes up to me and meerkat and this happens:
Guy: Hey, are you from [region X]?
Me: ....yeah?
Guy: I FUCKING KNEW IT, I COULD TELL. Where from, north or south?
Me: Well, technically neither???
Guy: No, no, you're either from the north or the south!
Meerkat: How about "secret third option"?
Guy: The fuck does that mean?
Meerkat: [explains]
Me: Yeah, so I am from [place]. Hence "secret third option".
Guy: OH FUCKING HELL.
He then turns around and yells for his friend. Who is also from the same place as me (though apparently doesn’t live there anymore). We spent five minutes just making sure we weren’t related. We weren't. But still. Can't go fucking anywhere without finding some sort of connection to home.
Six people, a five seat car repeated on the way home, and we first spotted the Kä bus coming towards us, screamed a little, then had to immediately freeze because we passed a police car. Then realized five seconds later the Kä bus was a little ways behind us. Exit pursued by the Kä bus.
Can't thank my lovely potatoes enough for this weekend, and I hope we can do this again (not necessarily with back to back gigs involved) very, very soon.
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teddybeartoji · 4 months ago
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randomly remembered how a 6'3 fuckboy ended up snuggling into my side, nuzzling his face into the crook of my neck while i played with his hair... we were not a thing btw. and this happened in front of like twenty ppl. at a karaoke bar. 😭😭😭😭😭
he was just so sad okay:((((((( this was in high school btw,, our classes went on a little cruise together at the end of the year and then while he we were all at the karaoke place, he got an email and blabla he had some problems at school. and then ofc everybody got up to comfort the poor boy:(((((( WAITHASGHDHASGDGAHS THE MORE I THINK ABT IT THE MORE FUNNIER IT GETS i didn't get up bc everybody was on him anyway but then when ppl went back to their seats he saw me sitting there and i opened my arms and he just fucking fell onto my lap like a sad little dog ahgshgaghdasghgha i think this is where it all started actually..... 😭😭😭
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lisbonsteresa · 1 year ago
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yeeeah that's the good kush
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blujayonthewing · 10 months ago
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reflecting on how all of my other DMs have gone above and beyond to lovingly weave my and my friends' backstory elements into the larger worldbuilding of the campaign by contrast to all of the ways Elyss' DM has gone out of his way to suppress or excise any influences her family may have ever had on anything and I'm genuinely near tears over it
#'I'm so surprised that Elyss wasn't more interested in going to her mom's hometown now that you're in her homelands!'#YOU! CHANGED Nami's backstory so that she never traveled anywhere before having Elyss#and YOU decided that she never tells Elyss literally anything even when directly asked#because you're so desperate to make sure your players never know literally anything about whatever might happen to them ever#YOU made it feel not only unrewarding but as if it was actively unwelcome for you if I even talked to my mother!!#'we're making this very dangerous journey (that you've been retconned not to have made yourself so you can't spoil it)--#--assuming we survive can you please tell us anything at all about what to expect the other country to be like?'#'well. it is different than here. it may not be what you expect.'#'oooh why didn't you go to hometown' SUCK MY DICK I ASSUMED YOU'D BE ANNOYED IF I WENT THERE HOPING TO FIND ANYTHING#of course ELYSS wants to try to touch any part of her own heritage she can!!#do you think she doesn't wonder whether she has family there? do you think maybe it's weird that she doesn't already know??#when *I* built Elyss' mother I made her a traveler from a far-off land so neither of us had to worry about it#YOU decided to send us to THAT far-off land specifically and then REFUSE to let Nami actually TELL me anything about it!!#feels very much like you don't want me to engage with that! feels very much like you ACTIVELY don't want me to explore that connection!#and if it felt like *Nami* was being secretive about it then Elyss would be even more keen to investigate herself--#but it's just part of a well-established pattern of NPCs going 'it's a secret teehee' for very obviously no other reason than that--#the DM just doesn't ever want us to have information even if NPCs have that information and have no reason not to share it#anyway. tl;dr grief over elyss yearning her whole life for somewhere to belong#but not going to her mother's birthplace because she has no reason to believe there's anything there for her.#for purely stupid empty meta reasons.#'I'm surprised you didn't go there 👀' so maybe he had something!#but my mother-- through you-- was so cagey about whether her parents even exist that I kind of just figured you didn't! so!!#about me#my OCs#elyss
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sluttyten · 2 years ago
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#my parents just got home from my grandparents so obviously we’re not driving to visit my brother tonight because it’s almost 10pm and he#lives like 6-8 hours away but I asked if we’re going tomorrow or not at all and her answer was ‘we’re not going’#then she was like ‘are you sad?’ and I’m like no#because I’m not sad I’m annoyed#annoyed that I canceled my plans for this weekend trip that they came up with just a couple days ago just for me to have to cancel my#piercing plan (which they don’t know about to be fair) but also canceled on my best friend because I thought I wouldn’t be here and then I#told her no I wouldn’t come over tonight either bc I thought maybe we might leave early in the morning tomorrow#but we’re not doing that either and I could have gone to target like I wanted to also but I didn’t want to leave and go anywhere bc I didn’t#know how long my parents were going to be or what the general plan was until it was too late and dark for me to want to go anywhere#anyway I’m just annoyed like what was even the fucking point? I hurried home from work threw all my stuff together fully packed and got my#pillow and my blanket my chargers and everything#I even unplugged all the electronics in my room bc I don’t leave stuff plugged in when I know I’m gonna be away for a few days#just for us to not go at all#if either of my parents had packed before today then we would’ve already been on the road by the time my aunt called#would we have just turned around then or what?#also ugh it’s like my parents knew I had plans they wouldn’t approve of bc it was almost right after I made the plans for the piercing with#my friend from work that they threw these plans at me and then once I’d told him I couldn’t do today but maybe next weekend they suddenly#wanted to switch our trip to next weekend but decided to keep it this weekend when I was like uh no#and now that my plans are to go next Friday to get pierced like neither of my parents really shared any plans or even packed anything until#today almost like they just didn’t really plan to go which I know sounds dumb and paranoid to say but we didn’t even have a hotel#reservation like we normally would like these plans just seemed very tentative this weekend and it’s just so annoying to me#I wasted my entire afternoon basically thinking maybe we would get to go and thinking maybe tomorrow and ugh#I’m just in a mood I’m sorry#I need to translate this annoyance into writing chp 10 before I fall asleep#also my best friend is updating me on her house sitting alone and she’s freaking out bc she’s not used to sleeping alone in a house by#herself and the power just went out on her and if my parents would’ve made our lack of plans more clear I could’ve at least been there with#her so she wasn’t so freaked out or at least so we’d be freaked out together#but tbh girl just lock yourself in a bedroom that’s what I always do when I have to sleep in my house alone. and put my car keys right#beside my head so if anything crazy did happen I could at least like set my car alarm off to alert the neighbors
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yanderenightmare · 4 months ago
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TW: anger issues, abuse, angst
gn reader
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Thinking about boyfriends with anger issues…
How it’s okay in the beginning because your relationship is still fresh, and you’re both trying your best to be perfect for each other. How it’s enough for you to tell him he’s being silly with a sweet kiss to his grumpy cheek when he’s acting grumpy and insisting on having some type of fight with you over something unimportant. It’s enough to defuse him at that point—your unnerving smile and kind eyes, how you’re able to touch him even when he feels nuclear. The knots untangle within his head, and he calms down. He doesn’t apologize, but he gets sheepish and plays dumb until he’s cracking you up with some dumb joke—so you forgive him anyway.
The fights get worse over time, but so do the good times. He’s so perfect when he’s good, you forget about the bad. And you’re still able to disengage, at least most of the time. You can leave or ignore and dismiss—you can even agree to be wrong sometimes, even when you’re not. It doesn’t really matter. Those arguments are never about who’s right anyway—it’s just about fighting to see who can outlast the other. You swear, sometimes it feels like you’re the accused on the stand in a courtroom, but the judge has vacated, and it’s just you against the lawyer hurling pointed question after question at you.
Oh, but then he brings flowers, makes you smile and laugh, does something romantic, and tells you sweet nothings that make you blush. It feels right when you move in together. You love him. And you know he loves you. He still doesn’t ever apologize for his behavior—at least not with words—but he tries making up for it otherwise. After particularly nasty fights, when you go to sleep without him and without sharing another word, he’s on his best and brightest behavior the day after—makes you breakfast, drives you to work, offers to pick you up, suggests you do something fun later.
It's soothing that he knows he’s in the wrong. It makes it easier to forgive him. Makes you believe he’ll change.
Only he doesn’t.
The bathroom becomes your escape, a space you can retreat to when you’re on the brink. You don’t want to cry in front of him—he can get so mean sometimes, and the tears just egg him on like it’s some game he’s winning. It doesn’t really dawn on you that you’re hiding from him. If you admit that to yourself, nothing would make sense anymore. If you admit that to yourself, you wouldn’t be able to defend staying with him. And so you can’t. You suppress it. You’re not hiding from him—if he were to come knock on the door to let him in, you’d let him in. So you’re not hiding from him. No, you’re just in there for a quick breath of your own and to give him a little space.
But though you deny it, he feels you slipping away—and it only serves to make him more combatant. Raised voices turn into roaring—you fear the neighbors might complain. Nothing works anymore. If you walk away, he follows angrier than before. If you agree to disagree, he’ll only use it against you. If you cry, he laughs.
The time you get as ugly as he gets and start fighting back with your own insults is when he puts his fist through the wall right next to you.
The house shakes for a moment, then stands still. All is silent. Neither of you moves. You’re as stiff as a mannequin, and your eyes have never been wider—and yet you don’t look at him. Your gaze is fixed at nothing in particular as if unable to look anywhere else. You have a hand against his chest—it shakes. He feels it, and it’s a gross feeling—worse than the pain in his hand.
And he knows. He knows he’s ruined it. He knows it’s the exact moment he’s lost you.
No, actually. He probably lost you a while back…
He pulls his fist out of the drywall—the thin plate follows him before he drags it out with force. Dust and fibers stick to his skin in blotches where the blood coats his hand, seeping from the splits on his knuckles. It stings, but it isn’t the worst. No, his chest feels worse.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers hoarsely through the strain in his tightening throat. “I’m sorry.” He can never repeat it enough for it to be enough. Fuck, what’s he done? What can he do? There’s a gaping hole in the wall he has you pressed up against, and it’s about to swallow him up.
“You’re bleeding,” comes your voice—as from the break of light in a stormy sky that reminds him it’s still day. “We need to disinfect it.”
He doesn’t dare protest, even as it confuses him how trivial you are about it. He just trails after you as you take him to the bathroom and clean him up. Holding his damaged hand in both of yours while you guide it under the tap, rinsing off the debris and blood, letting it all go down the drain. He didn’t even know you had a first aid kit, but you seem well-versed for some reason—how you dab the cuts with alcohol-soaked cotton, then tape shut the deeper slits before wrapping it all in a strip of bandage.
You take him to the bedroom, but neither of you speaks. He’s afraid to. And yet, both of you say goodnight while lying on opposite sides of the bed. He doesn’t know what feeling it is that simmers within his chest, but it makes it the worst night of his life.
And still, he must have slept soundly.
You’re gone in the morning—you’re essential things with you.
It’s strange, but he isn’t even angry. No… You left a note for him, but he can’t read it—not through the swelling of his eyes as they burn with salt and water and regrets that know no end.
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♡ BNHA – Bakugou, Dabi, Hawks, Enji, Shinso ♡ JJK – Sukuna, Geto, Naoya, Megumi, Toji ♡ HQ – Tsukishima, Kageyama, Iwaizumi, Sakusa, Ukai ♡ BLLK – Reo, Rin ♡ AOT – Eren, Levi ♡ DS – Akaza, Sanemi
♡ FEM x M INSERT masterlist ♡ GN x M INSERT masterlist
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hopelessdazai · 8 months ago
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✿ 》 To Hold or Be Held?
╰⧼ 🪻 note.. ⧽ ; writing witj this many characters was scary . pls ignore any typos or errors or mischaracterisation im learning. reblogs appreciated!!
╰⧼ ☀️ features.. ⧽ ; Chuuya, Dazai, Atsushi, Akutagawa, Nikolai, Fyodor, gn!reader ( fem terms in fyodors and mentions of boobs in nikolais parts )
╰⧼ 🌙 contents.. ⧽ ; fluff, cuddles, all those nice things, nikolai being nikolai, possible mischaracterisation
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dazai
dazai doesn't have a preference. he enjoys both being held and holding you for the same reason. when he's holding you, he's holding on tight - part of him is still scared you're gonna leave him if he gets too comfortable. and if you're holding him he always finds himself melting into you, his hands shakily gripping at your clothes as he smothers himself against your chest. he adores how your hands find his hair and comb through it. if he puts all his weight onto you, you can't go anywhere, right?
".. 'm sorry .. don't get up, just five more minutes. I'll be good ..- you're warm .. 'm sorry.. "
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chuuya
chuuya prefers to hold. be adores the feeling of you in his arms, it makes him feel like he's protecting you from the known - blanketed by his strong embrace. he traces 'I love you's on your back knowing you're too comfortable and sleepy to know what he's writing - his thumb writes his name into your hip when you think he's just rubbing circles. little possessive things like that, just to quietly manifest that you stay with him. he can press a gentle kiss to the top of your head and tease you for being so clingy ; even though he's holding you tight too.
".. you need the bathroom? .. you can hold it, jus' stay with me for a while longer .. I love you .. pretty thing you are .."
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atsushi
atsushi prefers to hold. while he won't ever deny being held, usually he finds himself pulling you on top of him to keep you in his embrace while he takes a nap. your head on his chest and his arms resting around your waist, while he gently purrs to soothe you to sleep with him. he hasn't been able to take solo naps since you've been around - and he knows you enjoy resting with him too, anyway. so what's the harm when he tugs you over to the detective agency couch and asks you to take a quick break? you've both been working hard , after all.
"let's have a quick break, okay? we can stay finish everything later .. you're gonna exhaust yourself out, sweetheart .. just 10 minutes .."
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akutagawa
akutagawa prefers to be held. he'll never admit it to anyone, especially not to you. but you can see the way he relaxes and sinks into you when you wrap your arms around him. the way he takes a long exhale and his shoulders deflate as your hand traces a certain spot on his back. he likes listening to your heartbeat, he likes knowing you're alive and with him for who he is - and not what he can do. he's still learning to love and to trust, but it's a little easier when it's by your side. he hopes you wont leave him, he'll work to impress you as he grows.
".. what? no, I'm not falling asleep. you're imagining things. you .. mm .. can you do that again ?"
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nikolai
nikolai doesn't have a preference. he's like a big dog, despite his size he'll absolutely lay himself on top of you and nuzzle into your chest. if you have boobs then he won't be moving for a while, so kiss your oxygen goodbye. whenever he wants to hold you, he's not really one to ask ; he'll just drag you over onto him or use a portal to drop you into his lap, then he's clinging to you and whining desperately whenever you try to leave. he's just big and clingy, but can you fault him? he finds you so comforting.
" .. where are you going? no! you can't leave .. do you not love me anymore ?.. why do you wanna leave !.. just stay with me .. thank you .."
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fyodor
fyodor prefers to hold. if neither was an option, it'd most likely be that. but he regularly asks you to come sit on his lap while he works. a small whistle as he turns his chair, patting his thigh - and he'll wrap an arm around you to keep you close. he's not too affectionate, and too much touching before your marriage repulses him. but he'll learn to deal with these little moments for a while - it gives him his energy back and helps him with a little push to finish his work so you rest together.
" .. зайчик .. come here. no, I'm not finished. just come. don't be disobedient , now .. there we are. good girl."
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lovingseventeen · 2 months ago
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Hiii could you pls write about how seventeen gets their s/o to sit in their lap?? Thanks so much
svt getting their s/o to sit on their lap
a/n: i hope this is sufficient for my very delayed return (please).
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seungcheol: 
✿ it's truly just second nature for him at this point
✿ he'll just casually guide you onto his lap and you don't really question it either
✿ say you're about to sit next to him on the couch
✿ as you're about to sit he'll just lightly pull your wrist in his direction and there you are
jeonghan:
✿ loves to rest his head on your shoulder when you sit on his lap
✿ the simplest "come here" and you're following
✿ he loves this because you don't even have to pay attention to him but he has all the access to wrap his arms around your middle
joshua: 
✿ pats his leg when you want to show him something on your phone
✿ "josh look at this thing i just saw-"
✿ immediately, he's sitting up and spreading his legs so you can walk in the space between them and sit on one of his thighs
✿ "let me see, pretty"
jun: 
✿ will gradually shift you onto his lap over time absentmindedly
✿ neither of you two really notice but you just wind up there
✿ you were watching a movie on opposite ends of the couch (which is fine) but now you're there??? (no one is complaining)
hoshi: 
✿ so annoying about it (i mean this in a loving way)
✿ why should you sit anywhere else when his lap is literally right there??
✿ even if you sat somewhere else without thinking about it he's jokingly scoffing "so you hate me"
✿ (it's okay, just go sit on his lap and peck his cheek and he's all giddy again)
wonwoo: 
✿ pulls you towards him by an article of clothing
✿ it could be your pants loop, the sleeve of your hoodie, or the back of your shirt
✿ he doesn't need to ask you twice :')
woozi:
✿ always asks for your opinion when he makes a new beat or writes new lyrics
✿ "i want you to listen to this" he says with a hand stretched out
✿ he likes to have you sit on his lap while he places the headphones around your ears
✿ he gently presses his forehead to your back as he waits for your thoughts
dokyeom: 
✿ perpetually wrapped around you anyway (his love language is physical touch)
✿ it doesn't take long when an arm around your shoulder as you're sitting next to each other moves to your waist
✿ then he figures this isn't close enough and he'll also maneuver you so you're eventually on his lap. he'll quite literally wrap his arms around your middle so he can move you
✿ "this is better" as he nudges his face into your neck
mingyu:
✿ will manhandle you if he has to
✿ you try teasing him just to see him get pouty and as you're trying to get away from him, he uses a little bit more of his strength to pull you towards him
✿ but as you're sat you feel him mumble against your shoulder "do you actually not want to?"
minghao:
✿ i think he's a pretty straightforward person
✿ a simple tucking your hair behind your ears and he's caught your attention
✿ "i want you closer" as he holds your arm to help you move
seungkwan: 
✿ dances around the subject instead of just telling you what he wants lol
✿ "did you know that sitting on wooden chairs is actually bad for your back? there's no cushioning"
✿ "oh really? should we order cushions then or-"
✿ "you could sit somewhere else"
✿ "but i need the table for my laptop and i get so lazy on the couch-"
✿ "then maybe you could just sit here" he offers, moving his chair back to welcome you. then it all clicks (he's a dork)
vernon: 
✿ also probably someone who just tugs you gently in his direction
✿ i don't think he'd need to use words for you to get it either
✿ even if you're standing around him doing anything else and you feel him lightly pull the back of your sweater you follow him without giving it much thought
chan:
✿ as long as you're in his vicinity he pulls you with him as he sits down
✿ both of you just came home from work? he's dropping himself down on the couch and you're coming with him
✿ has most definitely missed at least once and you both landed on the floor
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alexiswritingstuff · 3 months ago
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Everyone can heal.
Pairing: Logan Howlett x Gn!reader
Summary: Logan falls asleep in the day room at Xavier's school, you accidently startle him awake and end up getting hurt.
Genre: hurt/comfort.
Warnings: mentions of blood, and descriptions of wounds, mentions of nightmares.
This is the first time that I am writing in a while, so I hope this isn't just straight up terrible.
A/n: this if my first fic for Logan, so like I usually say when writing for a new character, I may not have portrayed him in an accurate way. There might be parts that seem out of character and such, so please keep that in mind while reading!
Anyway, I've watched the X-men movies since I was a kid. And after watching the new Deadpool and Wolverine movie I was put right back at square one. So, here you go!
I hope you enjoy!!
Logan masterlist.
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It had been a long few days.
It was one of the first weeks that you had actually tried to be a professor. Of some sort.
Now, generally, you weren't exactly the kind of person that worked well with kids. It was a lack of experience on your end, as you hadn't gotten the chance to grow up with much others.
But you wanted to learn. Or... did.
The main fault was that you had forgotten to weigh your personal life, more so the things you needed, alongside being a professor in a school.
See, there were a few things that you didn't know about your abilities beforehand. Charles managed to bring some to light, and in turn, you had to figure out how to use them: Incorporate them into your training, into your fighting skills.
It was a lot to relearn. And you misjudged just how much it was going take it out of you.
Though, you didn't seem to be the only one.
Logan was practically in the same boat. Maybe even a little worse. I mean, he was good with kids, but working with them was different, especially when it's a whole group of them at a time. He even bailed on his own classes once. Or twice... could’ve been more.
But you couldn't exactly blame him.
This was the man that barely stayed a week anyway. He was always leaving, whether it was for a bar or something else, you didn't know unless you went with him.
He wasn't used to it yet. The change of being alone, pretty much all the time, to suddenly being surrounded by a boat load of people 24/7. It was understandable. Especially to you, which is probably why you had got to know him so well.
It was the end of the day. The sun was tucked far beneath the horizon, blanketing your part of the earth in a complete darkness. Minus the slight light pollution.
The hallways of the schools were empty at this time, each kid, hopefully, getting a good night's sleep for the next day of learning. But you could never be sure when it came to the teenagers.
It meant that there were less things in the surrounding area for the sound of your footsteps to bounce off. And that, combined with the size of the archways themselves, allowed the echoes to ring a lot longer than needed. 
You were on your way back to the day room, having made a quick stop by the kitchen to get more sodas in order to soothe the joint annoyance of having a lack of beer. 
It was where the two of you usually set up for quiet moments like these. There wasn't really anywhere else to go, unless you wanted to be stuck in an empty classroom, or have to sit on a freezing bench. And neither of you had an interest in being near a bed.
The most important factor about the day room, however, was that it had a TV. Which just so happened to be the first thing you heard after passing through the final corridor.
It was distant, set at a cautious volume. It must've been one of those talk shows, or maybe some kind of sitcom, as a chorus of laughter would erupt after almost every sentence said.
Either way, it didn't really matter. It had only been put on for background noise. A sound that would carry the silence whenever the two of you had stopped talking, unsure of what to bring up next.
Though, it seemed it had worked a little too well.
The last time you got a look at Logan, he had resumed his usual position. He was upright, back pressed firmly into the sofa as if he were trying to meld with it, and leant against the palm of his hand that had his elbow digging into the armrest.
Your feet halted in a matter of seconds of turning into that doorway. Your tongue was curled in your mouth, lips parted and remaining so, as your eyes had landed back on the man.
He was lying in the opposite direction. His body was sprawled across the length of the couch, though his feet were cursed to hang loosely over the edge. His muscles looked tense, regardless of the usual relief that sort of position was supposed to give a person. But that wasn't the interesting part.
His eyes were closed.
At this point the condensation on the bottles had begun to grow into little drops of water, joining together, one by one, before leaking onto your skin.
Your steps were slow, testing each of the floorboards beneath your shoes to avoid the ones that creaked like an old door.
Logan wasn't a person who got tired easily. It was part of his mutation, that of which you had learned very quickly, but apparently it had manifested into thinking that he couldn't even feel it at all. I guess you were wrong.
Though, in his defence, he may not have even meant to fall asleep when he closed his eyes.
Eventually, you had made it to the edge of the couch. There was a side table on each end of it, the safest and the closest option regardless of the fact his shoed feet were almost right above it.
You took one of the bottles in your free hand, making sure that your grip was just right, before beginning the descent to the table.
You held your breath, narrowed gaze flickering consistently from the eventual destination to the sleeping man. The concentration had even caused your tongue to poke through your teeth as you took about a step closer--
And then bam.
Right as the bottom of the bottle had touched down on the wood, this sudden guttural sound rippled through the air. It had you stumbling backwards, gaping in the direction of the continued noise that sounded like fear itself.
In front of you, now, was not the same sleeping man. In fact, this man was sat up, though almost hunched over most of his body. His arms were raised, aimed straight ahead, and that happened to be right at you.
“Whoa-- hey!”
He was heaving. Each breath taken almost shook his entire body. And the noises... They were almost like growls.
They were so deep and harsh as they pushed out of his throat one after the other, but his inhales were somehow even worse. It was like all the air in the room had suddenly dissipated.
It wasn't until you heard the seams of the couch starting to rip that you realised his claws were even out, the ends just about digging into the pillows beside him.
“Logan, hey, it's me, okay? Look,” you attempted to call, trying to lower your head so that he could properly meet your eyes, “Look, it's me!” And then he did. He saw you, even if It took a moment for it to actually kick in. 
He was still heaving, his gaze was fierce and his eyebrows never eased. He had even slightly choked on a breath on its way out.
But you saw the way he had slightly leaned back. There was a relief within the swirl of other emotions.
Until his gaze lowered.
Now, at some point in the past few minutes, the other bottle in your hand had been discarded. It most likely hit the edge of your shoe, sending it to roll off into some corner of the room where it would be forgotten about until morning... But it hadn't smashed.
So, why did something sound like it was dripping?
“Y/n.”
By the time your eyebrows had furrowed in confusion, Logan had hurriedly shoved himself up from the couch, his claws shrinking back between his knuckles within seconds. “Shit.”
You were lost. The sudden switch in atmosphere had you just standing there, fixated on the man that was moving towards you with this look on his face. Similar to one of guilt.
“Logan?” You had barely gotten the name out before you suddenly felt a hand on your arm. Your head snapped in its direction, lips parting so that you could ask what the hell was going on. And then he slightly tilted your arm.
There was your answer. “Oh.”
Three marks. There were three lines etched diagonally into your arm, one deep enough that it led the pooling blood to trickle down your skin. How did you not feel that?
“Fuck,” Logan's hand was careful. His fingers were light and gentle as they grazed the side of your arm. Hesitant. His breaths were getting louder again. “I'm…”
“I'm sorry,” he attempted, his voice barely escaping as a whisper, “I'm so sorry.”
His eyebrows were more furrowed than they were before. The rest of his face was sort of scrunched up too, like he couldn't believe what he was seeing. Or he was disgusted by it.
“Logan,” You tried placing your hand on his closest wrist, but he immediately retracted. He let go of your arm, “Hey, look, I'm fine, okay?” you started louder, more insistent, “It doesn't hurt.”
Logan shook his head for a moment. He took a slight step backwards, his stance heavy. His eyes never moved. “I'm sorry.”
He grunted, the frown taking over his lips deepening for just a moment before his torso twisted. He grabbed the neck of the successfully placed soda, and then just walked around you.
“No, wait,” You tried to reach out, wanting to grasp his arm or even the fabric of his top, but he swerved, completely avoiding you, “Logan?”
You couldn't even make another attempt as if your other hand was away for longer, more blood would end up dripping on the floor. So, your body turned, desperate eyes following the man in a way that was more of a plea than anything else.
But he never looked back. He continued walking through the doorway, rubbing hard against his temples with a final grunt before disappearing behind the wall.
~~~
The time, at this point, was unclear. The clocks in this school were usually around the learning areas, mostly in the classrooms, which created a sort of guessing game anywhere else.
It was apparent, however, that the sun had just begun to rise. Peeking over the horizon enough so that a bright mist seeped into most of the corridors.
You found yourself back in the hallways. There wasn't a very clear reason as to why than this inability to sit. A failure to be still for seconds at a time, regardless of the tiredness that had started to cling to your skin.
But that was the last thing on your mind.
You kept thinking about it; the previous encounter. It was sort of plaguing your mind, more so how you handled it.
Granted, it was in fact your first time having to deal with a situation like that, and usually you were on the other side. Though this seemed different, like something had just been exposed.
You were aware of the fact that Logan had nightmares. I mean, it was one of the most believable things about him, considering the things he'd gone through. The extent, however, was undetermined.
Until today.
A huff of air sifted through your lips as you attempted to straighten your spine, stretch the accompanying muscles that had grown tense over the past few hours.
The aimless walking was almost nice. The surroundings were mostly quiet, excluding the wind that whistled against the glass of the windows, having picked up some time earlier.
It was that time of year again. The group of months where the weather grew cold and the plants began to change. It almost made the school feel cosy even if there was no heating in the hallways.
In fact, where you were now was the coldest, and it wasn't until you looked up properly that you realised you were about to walk into a dead-end.
Slowly, your feet came to a stop, your lazy eyes blinking hastily in the blaring yellow light, which was starting to mix into this sort of orange.
Your shoulders lowered, a sense of relief filtering through your system as the decision had been final. You were going to go to your room, maybe even get to lay down for a few hours until it was time to teach.
So, you turned on your heel, taking about a step in the other direction as your blurry eyes attempted to focus on the closest doorway, until you could note the surroundings. It was the kitchen.
Now, that door was always open, usually swung all the way back and held by a stopper. But a light was on. Allowing you to properly get a view of the room and what was in it.
More so who.
Your movements had halted right as you were about to take another step.
Logan.
He was sitting at the narrow table at the back, set between the array of windows. His elbows were against the surface of it, one of his hands clasped around a bottle he had just set down. He swallowed, and so did you.
There was an initial pause, seconds taken to calculate the right decision, before you went in. Your lips parted, ready to release the script you had gone over in your head for the last hour--
“I didn't mean to hurt you.”
Instead, you were frozen. The volume of his voice, and the angle he sat at, almost made it seem like the words didn't even come from him. He probably heard you before you had even come down the hall.
Your eyebrows furrowed, “Logan–” you tried, but his mouth opened before you could even finish, “Just let me talk,” He hadn't moved. He was in the same position, still holding the bottle, and staring straight forward like there was someone there across from him. “Okay?”
You brought your lips together, placing a hand on the kitchen island to distribute your weight. Logan took the silence as acceptance and he cleared his throat. “I'm sure you already know,” he had begun, sparing the slightest glance your way for confirmation that didn't even need, “about the... nightmares.”
It was as if something in his mouth went sour when he said it, like the words itself tasted bad.
“Some are about the past, you know-- bits and pieces of it, anyway, but…” Logan paused for a moment, both verbally and physically. It only held for a few seconds. And then he sighed. “There are other ones too- Ones... ones where people get hurt, and, I'm…”
“I'm the one doing it.” It was a slow movement, an action that looked like it had to be forced, as Logan suddenly began turning in his seat. He met your eyes with a look that had your eyebrows furrowing all over again, “I'm the one hurting people.”
“Y/n, I'm sorry.”
“Logan,” you started, shaking your head in disagreement with the apology, but he only repeated it. “I'm so sorry.”
You made your way to the edge of the island, pace slowing once round the corner, “Hey,” Logan's gaze had shifted as you moved. It was lower, directed at a specific point. He was looking at your arm.
It had been engulfed by a layer of, hopefully, the appropriate bandaging. An attempt at following the tips Jean had given you from previous injuries.
But it being covered somehow made it seem worse than it was.
“Hey, look at me,” you called, stopping at a good place where you were actually in front of him, yet still a good distance away so he wouldn’t want to back off. “Look at me.” 
The next words only left your lips when he had finally decided to comply. “I'm fine.” you assured, the tone of your voice much lighter than before. But that made the look on Logan's face shift, “I hurt you.”
“It was an accident,” Your response was quick, your voice making it sound so simple. Like the sentence said should’ve been accompanied by a shrug of the shoulders. Logan didn't like that, “Accident or not, I still hurt you, Y/n.” His tone was riddled with this disbelief, as if he couldn't believe that he had to tell you that in the first place.
“And, I'm still here, Logan.”
You didn't understand it. The two of you had trained together many times, each round ending with either one receiving a new injury until your skills developed. Hell, you had been in battle together.
A little scratch was nothing. “It was a mistake-- my mistake. I'm the one who startled you, shit like this happens.” you tried to assure. Logan scoffed immediately, “What-- Does that make it magically okay for me to hurt people?”
“No!” you huffed out, the ability to contain your annoyance dwindling the more he challenged your statements. “No, okay? But-- You know, what-- Look.”
You took a few more steps, the care for all of the previous caution going completely out the window as you grasped an end of the bandaging, and unwinded the material before pulling back the padding beneath.
“See?”
Logan almost looked like he had buffered for a few seconds. He blinked, and then again, and then twice really fast, as if it would change what was in front of him. His hand had even flexed, like he wanted to reach it out, though it remained on the table.
They were gone. Each mark, each line that was carved into the skin had completely gone. Disappeared without a trace. There wasn't even a scar.
“You…” He spoke slowly, his eyes trailing up the length of your arm to your shoulders. And then your face. “You can regenerate?”
“Granted, a little... Well, a lot slower than you-- But, yeah.” you confirmed, wrapping the bandage up in your hands before placing it on the kitchen aisle behind you.
Logan leaned back slightly in a way that straightened his up spine. He brought his legs from under the table and set them in the direction the rest of his body was facing. He had turned right towards you.
“Are you serious?” The complete deadpan had you staring right back at him. You couldn't read the expression, nor the stance. You didn't even know what to call it. “Yep.” You blinked. Logan didn't move a muscle, “You can heal.” 
Now, you could hear it in his voice. It wasn't just a statement, a form of repetition to clarify the new information. He was getting mad.
You furrowed your eyebrows, “I... I don't really know what else you want me to say.” Which was the truth, the whole healing thing was one of the things you had discovered with Charles. 
It's an entirely different process than it is for most anyway, let alone when it comes to Logan. At the moment you actually had to activate the process for anything to heal. But you were working on it.
I guess it just slipped your mind.
“So, you were just willingly acting like a damn damsel?” The lines around his eyebrows deepened the way they usually did when he was getting angry. And they weren't stopping.
“A damsel?” you repeated, even tilting your head as a wordless question, and he just nodded. “You stood there. You just stood there until I came to you-- You didn't even try to stop the bleeding. Hell, did you even notice?”
That look on his face never changed. You hated it. The way it darkened his eyes, or tensed the surrounding muscles. The most bothersome thing, however, was the fact that it was aimed at you. “No,” you started, this time with a deeper voice. “No, I didn't-- You know, why?”
“Why?” Logan commanded, the veins around his neck becoming apparent. It was as if he was trying to win an argument, get the upper hand and serve some kind of justice, like you had done something wrong.
He was supposed to be relieved.
“Maybe, it's because that was the last thing I cared about, Logan!”
The two of you were just staring at each other. At this point, both of you were almost heaving, the past few minutes taking the air out of both pair of lungs.
The expression on Logan's face twitched for a moment, a crack in the anger that usually wasn't breakable. His posture had become more of a slouch as he suddenly decided to lean back a little, like before.
You watched with curious eyes when he then sighed, breaking the held gaze to grab his bottle of soda and bring it to his lips.
It all resembled a puzzle. A constant attempt to find the right piece, the right thought, that would fit it all together. But there was a lack of progress. You were at a loss. 
Was he mad that you didn't tell him? Was he actually mad that you didn't do anything about the scratches? Were you reacting the wrong way? Did he want you to hate him? Were you supposed to?
Or did he think that you couldn't grasp the situation? The severity. The big 'What if?' Maybe he was in fact tired. 
Just a different kind.
You started to move after another few seconds, the sound of your shoes against the tiles piercing through the layer of created silence. It was apparent that Logan was watching, albeit discreetly, following what he could as he took another swig.
Your movements concluded by the length of the table he was sitting at. You leaned onto it, releasing that weight that had started aching both your knees and your feet from standing for so long.
By the time your eyes were back on Logan, his own had snapped away.
You took in a deep breath of the cold air, feeling it hit the back of your throat, your shoulders deflating, “I get them too, you know... Nightmares.”
There was a beat of silence again. A lack of movement, or reaction. And then he met your eyes again. Slower this time, almost hesitant. He set his drink down ,listening. So, you continued, “I wouldn't go about comparing them,” 
“But, I understand enough to know what it's like.”
Logan sort of huffed a laugh after that. Not a malicious one, or in disbelief of the sentiment. He was acknowledging it. “You shouldn't have to.” 
He was back to that whisper of a voice again. It was still deep, and a tad gravely, almost forceful. But it conveyed enough. “Neither should you.. yet,” you paused, shrugging your shoulders, “Here we are.”
This time, the huffed laugh was louder. More pronounced in a way. It left a mark on his lips, leaving them curling at the corners. It fit right in. You wanted it to stay. Maybe a little too much, “At least, now, I get to say that I was attacked by The Wolverine and survived.” 
The comment was a little dangerous, especially if taken the wrong way. In all honesty, your eagerness allowed it to be blurted right through your lips before you could catch it. 
But Logan practically snorted. “Shut up.” he breathed, bringing the soda back to his lips. You pretended that you didn’t hear him, even crossing your arms over your chest, though a grin had slightly appeared, “I could even say that I defeated him.” 
In about a second his eyes had snapped to yours, a singular brow rising as the bottle smacked onto the surface of the table, “Okay,” He swallowed, “you did not defeat me, bub.”
“Oh, really?” you challenged, attempting to mimic his expression. “You were done after one move.”
Logan pushed the chair with his back in a way that had the legs screeching against the tiles. He stood from it, moving about a step to the side before continuing towards you.
“I was distracted.” he pointed out, gaze narrow as his eyebrows decided to furrow in an attempt to support his justification. “Excuses, excuses,” was all you said, accompanying it with a light shrug.
Logan was right in front of you now. He was close, about a step away. Though, the longer he looked at you, his eyes scanning across the skin of your face, that amusement once held had begun to fade.
He became sort of serious, the tension making the lines of his face more prominent all over again as his lips curved into more of a frown.
“I don't want it to happen again.” He was avoiding your eyes now, his own gaze cast downward. They were following his hand as he had brought it to your arm, the fingers of which ghosting across where the marks had been like he could still see them.
“Logan,” you started, your voice quiet yet loud enough that his attention was recovered. The two of you were looking at each other again, this time properly. Your features eased, all of the concern and the previous anger completely melting away.
You brought the hand of your previously injured arm upward, and he watched it until it went out of his vision.
You gently placed your hand on the side of his cheek, your palm pressing into the hair of his mutton chops which brought his gaze back to yours. And then you smiled lightly, just enough that he could see it, “Even if it did, I am not going anywhere.”
There was this quick twitch in Logan's expression. A split second of movement that had almost gone unnoticed until it happened again. His eyebrows pinched together.
Before you could say a word, he had suddenly pulled you forward, away from the table you were once against.
By the time you were up straight, his arms had wrapped around your body one after the other, entrapping you in this warmth that the kitchen could never achieve. It had you copying him as fast as you could, letting your hands land across the skin of his back and the fabric of the tank top.
Logan's head was planted on your shoulder, his hair sort of tickling the side of your face as he tucked himself in further. 
His body slightly deflated after a moment, a sort of gravelly hum of content rumbling from his throat. He obviously wasn’t putting his entire weight on you, the two of you would've tipped over within seconds. But you could feel it.
An extra weight that you were glad to carry.
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pedroscurls · 1 month ago
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in every lifetime (pt. 4)
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summary: logan goes to your apartment late in the night to make things right. finally. pairing: logan howlett x fem!reader tags / warnings: angst - post deadpool & wolverine ("worst" logan!variant), no use of y/n. word count: 1.2k a/n: so i certainly wasn't going to go this route for this chapter (it was originally gonna consist of a lot of yelling and all of that, but there is a softness to logan and add this song... i just couldn't write it the way i originally wanted). but anyway! thank you to everyone who's read this story - it holds a special place in my heart. i think we have one more chapter left before i consider this complete! our bb logan deserves a happy ending and i don't think i can torture him anymore lol. stay tuned though bc i'm gonna continue writing more for this character (i'm so obsessed). song lyrics will be in italics btw song: you are the reason by calum scott prev. part - next part.
Of course it’s raining. 
Logan shouldn’t have taken his motorcycle, but he wanted to get to you as fast as he could. There aren’t that many cars this late at night, but he still does have to swerve between traffic to get to your apartment. He’s drenched by the time he approaches your street, parking his motorcycle on the first spot he sees along the curb. He strokes his wet hair away from his face as he feels the heaviness weigh on his chest – he doesn’t know if you’d even hear him out, but he has to try. 
It isn’t until he gets near your apartment that he realizes maybe coming to your apartment this late in the night wasn’t a good idea. But he stops in his tracks when he sees you step out, immediately getting drenched in your oversized crewneck and plaid pajama pants. Despite the heavy rain, Logan knows you’ve been crying. Can see the way you cross your arms over your chest as you bite down on your lower lip. He can hear your heart beating, can hear how you’re stifling your sobs, can hear you whisper over and over: I’m so tired. I’m so tired. I’m so tired.
He isn’t sure why you’ve come outside, why you’re standing in the pouring rain, but he knows that he wants to pull you into his arms. Logan slowly begins to walk towards you, careful not to startle you. As he gets closer and closer to you, Logan feels the sudden urge to reach out to you, to wipe your tears away, to tell you that he’s here. 
And that he isn’t going anywhere. 
You don’t hear him and you’re so close to just yelling, screaming at the top of your lungs and asking the universe why? Why did it take your Logan away only to bring some version of him back? A version that wanted nothing to do with you? 
Your hands curl into fists, tears streaming down your face, hair and clothes completely soaked. You’re about to turn back around to go inside because you feel that if you stay out here another minute longer, you’re surely going to lose it. And you can’t. Laura still needs you. 
And you still need to be strong for her. 
Just as you’re about to reach for the handle of your front door, you hear his voice. It’s quiet, but it’s loud enough that you can hear it past the rain. You feel like your heart is beating out of your chest when your eyes meet his. 
Time suddenly seems to stand still as you stare into each other’s eyes. You’re standing on your front steps with Logan on the sidewalk, gazing up at you. You can see the look on his face, the complete vulnerability that he’s displaying as he stares up at you.
All of his guarded walls are down. For you. Only ever for you. 
There goes my heart beating 'Cause you are the reason I'm losing my sleep Please come back now
Slowly, he takes a step closer to you and you do the same. Neither of you say anything, the sound of the rain encompassing the both of you. You feel so overwhelmed with emotion and just like earlier that night, you yearn to reach out for him, to just be pulled into his arms. 
Logan can feel his own tears pool at the corners of his eyes as he keeps his gaze on you. He deserves this. He deserves you. He deserves a second chance to make things right. To be happy. To be loved. By you.
And there goes my mind racing  And you are the reason  That I'm still breathing  I'm hopeless now
As you take a step closer to him, so does Logan. Now standing in front of each other, mere inches separating your bodies, Logan reaches up to cup your cheek. You let out a shaky breath and shut your eyes momentarily, leaning into his touch as you bring a hand up to wrap around his wrist. Logan inhales sharply, your touch electrifying him once more. 
When your eyes flutter open, Logan steps closer, head dipping lower… 
I'd climb every mountain And swim every ocean Just to be with you And fix what I've broken
“In every lifetime and in every universe,” he whispers, his breath fanning over your lips. “I’m yours.” 
Your hand tightens around his wrist as your other hand comes up to rest on his chest. Tears pool around your eyes as the rain continues to come down. “Logan…”
“And with every fiber of my being, I will always love you.” Logan clears his throat, resting his forehead gently against yours as he brushes his nose with yours. 
Your hand on his chest clutches the fabric of his shirt, pulling him flush against you. Logan’s hand drops from your cheek to rest on your hip, lips pressing lightly on your cheek. 
And if I could turn back the clock I'd make sure the light defeated the dark I'd spend every hour, of every day Keeping you safe
It isn’t until your hands move to wrap around his shoulders that Logan snakes his arms around your waist to pull you flush against him. He holds you tightly to his chest, burying his face against the side of your neck. 
This… This is where he belongs. With you. 
He lets out a sigh of relief and tightens his hold on you when he feels your body begin to tremble with quiet sobs. This is as much of a relief for you as it is for him. This is your second chance and while your Logan will forever hold a special place in your heart, you feel lucky enough to be able to get another chance with a version of him. 
The rain continues to pour down on the both of you, not bothersome in the slightest. Slowly, he pulls back enough to look down at you. His eyes move lower until he gazes at your lips and then back up at your eyes. Logan brings a hand up to rest on your cheek, gently brushing the pad of his thumb against you.
I'd climb every mountain And swim every ocean Just to be with you
“I’d love you in every lifetime,” you repeat from the first night you saw him. “And that includes this one.”
“I’m here,” Logan whispers. “I’m with you, bub.”
You nod slowly, bringing your hands to gently push his wet hair away from his face. Logan’s lips turn upwards as his lips brush against yours lightly and it takes everything in him not to just kiss you because he knows that you both have a long way to go. 
But he wants you to know that he’s no longer going to run. 
He’s going to be here, right by your side. 
Just like how it should be in this universe, in his universe, and in every universe out there. 
This was right where he belonged. 
'Cause I need you to see That you are the reason
“Logan?” you whisper, eyes gazing down at his lips.
“Yeah, darlin’?” 
“Kiss me,” you say quietly. “Please…”
Logan smiles, his hand splaying on the side of your neck as his thumb brushes against your jawline. Slowly, he shuts his eyes and leans in to press his lips against yours. 
Finally.
--
taglist: @its-in-the-woods @mynatureworld @wadewnstonwilson @squishyfruitloop @maybedisaster
@kellyxo1 @m1cky-y-y @flowersforbucky @namikyento
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wileys-russo · 1 year ago
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off limits (3) II a.putellas x león!reader
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part one part two
back again! the next part might be the last? but there is more to come off limits (3) II a.putellas x león!reader
if it was team cohesion alexia wanted, then you were determined to give it to her.
you would be the most perfect of teammates, showing up early to training and working hard as you could, not allowing any of the brewing drama to affect your ability to play in the red and blue and to win.
on the pitch you would feed her any assists possible and take any passes she'd give you. the same went for playing alongside your sister, you'd take any ball she sent your way, any crosses aimed in your direction you were on in a flash.
however, to them thats all you would be, a teammate.
you went out of your way to avoid any sort of interaction with your ex girlfriend and captain that wasn't completely professional, and you avoided your older sister like she had some sort of disease, refusing to speak to them in any capacity that wasn't absolutely necessary or football related.
neither girl had properly spoken to the other since that night in anyway that wasn't professional either, the tension between them was simmering but palpable and not completely obvious to most of the team who weren't aware of any ill will.
the same could not be said for the uncomfortably awkward space you created for those who were aware that you and alexia were clearly going through some problems, which was the members of the team who'd figured out you'd both been dating.
or that there was clearly something wrong between the león sisters, normally attached at the hip and joking around in some sort of way at games and training. or posting together going out for walks or meals or spending time together on your days off, instead there was radio silence and everyone had picked up the two of you had come to a disagreement on something.
lucy had tried time and time again to get all three of you to speak with her about it to no luck at all, brushed off each time or sent away on a drill.
claudia and patri had tried to get you to open up again without any luck, both about your issues with alexia and the way they could clearly see you and mapi also were not talking. but again you dismissed them with a shake of your head, hurrying away to be by yourself.
after all, it wasn't affecting your performance on the pitch.
if anything your underlying anger with both women only spurred you on more, using football as a therapy of sorts. the free time in which you'd normally be sneaking off with alexia or messing around with mapi you spent doing extra shooting practice or meticulously studying past matches.
you were flying on the pitch, but you were leaving both of them behind in order to do so.
~
it was a thursday morning off for you. you had a photo shoot in the afternoon with a sunglasses company you were partnered with but beside that you had no plans. so you glanced up in surprise from your spot reading in the sunny corner of your living room when there was a knock on your door.
marking your place in your book you uncrossed your legs and padded over to the front door, glancing through the small peephole and frowning as you unlocked and pulled it open.
"hi, can we talk?"
~
mapi awoke as the warm morning sun bathed her face and she rolled over, expecting to be enveloped by her girlfriends welcoming arms but to her disappointment she was only met with an empty bed and cold sheets.
blinking tiredly the tattooed spaniard pulled herself up and rubbed the sleep from her eyes, head swiveling around the bedroom but unable to spot her norweigein lover anywhere her eyebrows furrowed deeper.
mapi called out for her, only rewarded with silence as she swung herself out of bed making her way around their shared flat, frown deepening as there was no sign at all of ingrid.
greeting bagheera with a scratch behind his ears mapi picked up her phone to call ingrid but the line only rang out to the girls message bank, mapi trying not to assume the worst or overthink as she made herself a coffee. but she didn't have long to spiral as she sat down with her breakfast and heard a key sound in the lock.
"good morning baby." her girlfriend smiled happily, closing the door after her as mapi was up and by her side in an instant. "where did you go? i woke up and you were gone!" she frowned after they'd hugged and shared a sweet kiss.
"i went out for breakfast." ingrid started, dropping her bag on the counter as mapi sat back down. "oh." the girl replied, trying to hide her disappointment at the lack of information or invite.
"...with your sister." ingrid finished, hiding her head in the fridge as she rummaged around for a moment. "oh." the spaniard repeated, this time a lot quieter as she sipped at her coffee, thoughts drifting as she stared out the window, hand bending down to gently scratch the cat which rubbed itself against her leg fondly.
"how was it?" mapi asked slowly as ingrid sat across from her at the table, having made herself a coffee as well. "it was okay, she misses you." her girlfriend murmured as she sipped the drink in her hands. "does she?" mapi asked skeptically, leaning back in her chair with a raised eyebrow.
"well she didn't exactly say it, but i could tell." ingrid sighed, a small smile tugging at her girlfriends lips at the brunettes forever present optimism. "mi vida she hates me." mapi chuckled, finishing her food and pushing her plate away with a sigh.
"she is very angry, but she has a right to be."
that made the defender frown, crossing her arms over her chest. "before you argue what would you do if it was the other way around? if she told you that you were not allowed to date me, and then i left you because of it." ingrid challenged, bagheera jumping up onto her lap.
"alexia left her?" mapi frowned quietly, her girlfriend giving her a look of disbelief. "please tell me you are joking. how did you not realise that from her behaviour?" ingrid shook her head as mapi could only shrug.
"i don't know. i just figured she was angry with me! i didn't think she would actually listen to what i said, she never does." mapi mumbled with a roll of her eyes as ingrid gave her a look.
"she has always listened to you love, she looks up to you so much its obvious for anyone to see. which is why she is so hurt by your response, then add in a break up in which she had no say and imagine how much pain she is in?" ingrid warned, guilt suddenly flooding the spaniards body as she sighed, burying her face in her hands.
"it is not up to you to say for either of them who they date, that is only up to them." ingrid warned sternly. "but she's my-" "no. she is her own person, and she deserves her own relationships without you adding in your negative opinion, which believe it or not actually means a lot to her. she was not wrong you can be very nosy, and very over protective." ingrid added on as mapi scoffed, but a harsh look from the tall brunette had her face softening.
"she is still your sister kjære, and she needs you. so you need to make things right with her, and with alexia!" ingrid finished as she stood, kissing her girlfriends head as bagheera pawed at mapi for attention, the defender scooping him up onto her lap with a deep sigh.
maybe she had really messed up here.
~
the next day you turned up to training early as usual, lucy was also early and so the two of you spent some time juggling to each other as the rest of your team mates arrivals trickled in.
"so how are you kid?" lucy asked, sending you a smile as you shrugged, flicking her the ball. "fine." you replied curtly, lucy abandoning any further attempts to coax you into being honest, sensing you were just not in the mood.
after breakfast with your sisters girlfriend yesterday your head was somewhat of a mess. ingrid had always been nothing but kind to you the entire time you'd known her, and had been easily welcomed into the family with open arms.
everyone saw the way she cared for your sister and the way your sister cared for her, in fact you probably spent just as much time with the norweigein as you did with your sister. the two of you shared a lot of common hobbies, hanging a lot one on one much to mapi's constant whining about being left out.
but her thin veil of tolerance for shopping only lasted so long, and so she was content to leave the two of you to your little bonding days. hours spent flitting from store to store, always returning to her home and showing her what you both bought as you'd stay for dinner and a movie.
so catching up with the tall brunette had been nice, and she had a way with her words that had you opening up to her for the first time about everything that happened, revealing exactly what was said and how it left you actually feeling.
ingrid had of course tried to coax you into coming back home with her to speak with your sister, assuring she would be there with you and would not allow you to be spoke to like that again. but you weren't ready, and she was not going to push you.
though it seemed she must have said something to your sister, as once the final whistle for training blew and you hung back for some extra shooting drills with sandra, you noticed mapi speaking with alexia.
you tried not to pay it any mind, the two walking away from everyone together clearly not speaking tactics for tomorrows game as they made sure they had no audience within earshot for their conversation.
after around a half hour sandra called it quits, patting you on the back for your efforts and retreating into the change rooms. you did some juggling for a moment to clear your head before you picked up the ball, also deciding you were done for the day.
though as you turned around you couldn't help but notice alexia and your sister walking back toward the few members of staff who were left, arms slung around one another and laughing at something, together.
the sight made your blood boil and you felt yet another knife stab you in the back.
the thought that neither of them were willing to apologize and try harder to fix things with you but were now best friends again as if your sister hadn't all but denounced their bond just a couple of weeks ago made you sick to your stomach.
so with a shake of your head you dropped the ball in your hands by the bag of them and stormed off back into the training facility. entering the change rooms there were only a few of your team mates left, most having left for the day already to rest up before the match tomorrow.
ingrid noticed your mood was off right away, glancing up from her phone as she waited for her girlfriend, watching carefully as your shoulders hunched over and you were quick to pack your things up.
normally you'd always shower before you left like a ritual, usually one of the last to leave because of this. so for you to be trying to exit as quick as possible she knew something was off.
pina who was sat at the locker next to you also noticed, frown forming on the younger girls face seeing you wipe away a few angry tears. "hey amiga what-" you shook your head furiously, cutting her words short and pushing away her hand which softly grabbed at your wrist.
ingrid stood to make a move toward you but was cut off as laughter sounded around the change rooms and the two causes of your bad mood entered, alexia shoving mapi for something she said as the shorter girl swung at her playfully, the two chattering away in spanish with large grins on their faces.
that was enough for you.
you slammed your locker closed with a force so hard you were surprised it didn't break, the loud bang causing everyone present to jump and look toward you in shock.
you zipped up your kit bag and pulled on a hoodie, slinging your bag over your shoulder and again brushing off pina who tried to speak with you.
having seen alexia and your sister had clearly made up and left you behind in their apologies your erratic out of character aggression all made sense now to ingrid who looked at you with a pained wince, understanding exactly why this would have hurt you further.
"hey hermana-" mapi grabbed you by the bicep as you tried to dart by you, holding you beside her with a frown. you pushed her off and sent both her and alexia a murderous glare, storming off out of the change rooms as mapi looked to her girlfriend with raised eyebrows.
ingrid sighed and beckoned her over to explain, knowing that if something didn't change soon things would only get worse.
~
on advice from her girlfriend to allow you some space to cool off, your sister waited until after the match before she approached you to try and talk.
alexia on the other hand without advice from anyone and worry for you growing with every day that passed that you refused to speak to her properly, did not.
you looked up from the floor as someone tapped your shoulder, pulling your headphones down to your neck with a cold stare up at the tall blonde stood in front of you.
"can we talk please?" alexia requested quietly, nodding for you to follow her as she lead you out of the change rooms and into one of the unoccupied recovery rooms.
"yes capitana?" you asked calmly, crossing your arms over your chest as you awaited what she had to say. "how are you?" alexia started, closing the door and moving in front of it, effectively blocking your exit with her own body.
"fine. but we have a match to prepare for if you are finished?" you replied impatiently, tapping your foot as the cold stare never dropped, making alexia's stomach tie itself into knots.
"cariño please i-"
"don't." you warned, feeling like someone squeezed your heart at the familiar term of endearment, something she no longer had any right to call you. "you need to remember to be professional with your teammates, capitana." you spoke bluntly, raising your chin as the older girl sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose.
"when are you going to drop this? just because we are no longer together does not give you the right to ignore me and act like a stubborn child." alexia warned, tone shifting causing you to scoff at her words.
"i am simply treating you as you treat a team mate. after all you can't have any problems with your girls, no?" you challenged, clenching your jaw in anger as you threw her words back at her with a bite.
"let me make this very clear alexia." you took a step toward her. "i am no longer someone you have any need to worry about beyond the field. i play well, i score, i work within the team to help us win, thats it." you started.
"unless i require the help or assistance of my captain, i owe you nothing. you left me without even giving me a chance to speak to you about anything, do not forget that." you warned, taking another step closer to her, the taller girl towering over you but you only found in her eyes a hidden fear of your next words to come.
"you acted like a child. you ran away the first moment things got tough. you left me there crying and hurt and alone when i needed you. and then you wait two weeks to speak with me? after you made up with my sister who hurled insults at you and at me in which you made no move at all to defend me." you poked at her chest with every sentence, the older girl allowing you to do so.
"so you do not get to tell me that i have no right to ignore you alexia. i warned you that if you left i would never speak to you again, so don't you dare make out that i am the problem here. you are a coward, i hope you and your best friend are very happy but stay away from me." your voice cracked at the end, betraying the obvious anger in your features as you wiped away a singular tear, shoving past the girl and leaving the small room, and again she made no move to follow after you.
your sisters attempts to fix things after a very successful 6-0 win had been met with the same icy demeanor.
"hermana we need to talk." she'd cornered you as you came out from the showers, crossing her arms over her chest as her eyes bore into yours and you sighed, making your way to your locker as she followed.
you didn't grace her with a response, only sat down and began to put your shoes on, mapi taking this as a silent agreement you were going to listen.
not wanting to do this in front of an audience she hovered around waiting for you, disappearing to the bathroom for a moment, frowning deeply when she noticed you'd already left on her return.
"joder!" she cursed under her breath, grabbing her bag quickly and sprinting out to the parking lot hoping she wasn't too late. thankfully for her you'd been cornered yet again though this time by pina and patri who were begging you come out with them tonight.
"the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else amiga!" pina tried, causing patri to frown and punch her rather harshly in the arm for the insensative comment. though the interaction had graced them with a small smile of amusement from you.
"so you will come?" patri begged, clasping her hands together as both girls pouted at you hopefully. "fine!" you agreed begrudgingly, admittedly missing the chance to bond with your team mates and friends with your voluntary self isolation.
both girls hugging you tightly and kissing your cheek you shoved them away playfully, agreeing for patri to pick you up later to assure you couldn't bail out on them.
though as they left and you slid into your car, looking forward to a few hours of time to yourself it seemed the universe had other ideas.
you jumped as someone suddenly opened your passenger door, sliding in and swiftly yanking your keys out of the ignition, your sister slipping them into the side pocket of her backpack and out of your reach.
"give them back and get out maría." you warned, jaw clenched and giving her the most fierce glare you could muster. but your older sister knew you far too well to ever be intimidated by you as she shook her head firmly.
"no, i meant it we need to talk." she started, dropping her backpack by her feet and crossing her arms staring you down. you let out a long and tired groan at the situation, head coming to rest on your steering wheel with a small thump.
"talk then." you waved for her to speak, closing your eyes and resting your head back on the seat, tucking your knees to your chest. "are you going to listen?" your sister asked, raising an eyebrow.
"no but you are welcome to talk." you kept your eyes closed, swearing and smacking her hands away as she pinched you sharply with a warning glare. "sorry i am too stupid to listen. just a selfish little girl who knows nothing!" you spat her own words back at her as she winced.
"you did not listen to me when i tried to talk to you, so why do you suddenly deserve that?" you asked, glaring right back at her unwilling to back down.
"pequeño-" "don't." you warned her at the nickname, causing her to sigh and look up at the roof, thinking about her next words carefully.
"i was very angry and i spoke without thinking. i said some terrible and awful things i didn't mean and i cannot say enough how sorry i am for them. and for pushing you and for yelling at you and not listening, for all of my behavior." she started as you glared out the window beside you, refusing to look at her.
"you know i love you more than anyone hermana, and as your big sister i have always looked out for you because of that. i thought that's what i was doing here and i was wrong, i know now that i don't get to say who you can and cannot love. it doesn't matter who it is, so long as you are happy and treated right thats all that should matter." mapi explained softly, a slight begging present in her tone as you again ignored her and stared out the window.
"what do i have to do to make things up with you? do i have to beg? because i will beg!" your sister warned seriously, clasping her hands together with a pleading look. "please don't." you mumbled with a roll of her eyes.
"i will! i'll do it!" mapi promised seriously and you heard her shifting around beside you. sparing her a glance you saw she had shuffled so that she was on her knees on the car seat, hands clasped together tightly still. "please? please, please, please, please? please, please-" your sister began to repeat over and over.
"ay dios mío. stop it!" your arm reached out to shove her but it did nothing as she continued, repeating the word over and over which grated at you.
"fine! just shut up mapi por favor. and give me my keys back!" you gave in with a groan, burying your face in your hands as she finally ceased her begging.
"i knew that would work." the older girl grinned happily, moving to sit back down as you shot her a glare. "i'm still annoyed with you. this is going to take time and i want to be left alone until i'm ready!" you warned, holding out your hand for your keys which your sister dropped into your palm.
"okay. and i will be right here whenever you're ready, because again hermana i love you, more than anyone." she promised sincerely as you hummed, sticking your key back in the ignition.
"i'm not saying it back, you can get out now." you nodded for her to leave as your sister sighed but understood, leaning over to kiss your cheek before finally leaving.
~
"see! don't you feel better already?" patri grinned, sliding in next to you and handing you a drink. "give me a few of these and we'll see chica." you smiled, clinking your glass against hers as a few more of your team mates arrived.
"how many people did you two ask?" you frowned, leaning in closer to the two girls who'd dragged you out in the first place who shared a look. "everyone." they both answered in sync as you sighed, fearing that would be the answer.
sure enough shortly after did your sister and ingrid arrive, but to your surprise mapi gave you your space, sending you a nod and a small smile before sitting at the other end of the table as ingrid came over to give you a hug.
"i'm proud of you elskling." the taller girl mumbled as she hugged you tightly, rubbing your back and kissing your cheek before joining your sister at the other end.
as another hour ticked by it seemed most of the team was here and you started to relax, assuming it was now far too late for your rule loving anti mid season drinking ex girlfriend to bother coming out.
of course though you spoke far too soon as you heard cheers and looked up to see she had arrived, dragging her younger sister along with her. or rather it would seem alba had dragged her here given the obvious look of displeasure on alexia's face.
she made no move to greet you which you were grateful for, hovering down the other end of the table. alba on the other hand sat herself right next to you, slinging her arms over both you and pina with a grin.
"vamos chicas! i think i have some catching up to do, no?" the younger putellas stole your drink, downing it with a wink as you couldn't help but smile.
despite your burning anger at her sister you couldn't find it in your heart to be mad at alba, the two of you had always gotten along well even if she was also none the wiser to your dating history with alexia.
and you were determined to have a good night, it was what you deserved.
"come on amiga, it's time to dance!" several drinks later and alba had grabbed your hands, dragging you along with her to where half of the team was already on the dance floor.
"hey chica, she's hot!" the younger putellas whistled as she spun you around and pointed to a tall brunette who was very clearly making eyes at you a few feet away.
"vamos amiga off you go!" alba suddenly shoved you in her direction when you did not expect it, your state of intoxication causing you to stumble as the brunette grabbed at you. "hola." she grinned down at you, helping you to steady yourself.
though they may not have been sincere pina's words from earlier echoed around your head. this girl was hardly unattractive, in fact as your taste in women went she really was exactly who you'd normally be drawn to.
glancing over her shoulder you saw alba, patri and aitiana gesturing for you to dance with her with eager grins as you shook your head. "lo siento, my friends can be...forceful in their wing womaning." you smiled causing the girl to let out a laugh.
as the two of you began to dance together and the alcohol rose to your head, your hesitations faded and you started to relax, grinding a little more into her and allowing the tall stranger whose name you were still yet to learn become a little more intimate in her touches, allowing her to kiss you a few times but pulling away before they became anything more.
what you failed to notice was two hazel eyes locked on you from across the room, alexia burning with a fierce jealousy that she knew she had no right to.
"hey ale, you alright?" lucy asked quietly from beside her, having noticed what the captain was staring so intently at. "fine." alexia mumbled, eyes still locked on you as now your sister took notice of what she was looking at.
though with a belly full of tequila and ingrid distracted in conversation with sandra and keira, there was no one to filter her next words. "ay capitana! stop staring and go get your girl then." mapi grinned drunkenly, lucy cringing at her words.
but if alexia heard them she made no move to acknowledge it, though it seemed she had as she suddenly stood, grabbing her bag and her keys ignoring lucy's attempts to stop her.
"should we get out of here bonita?" the girl murmured in your ear, her hand already having slipped just up the inside of your dress. "let me just go to the bathroom and we can leave." you grinned, kissing her cheek as she let you go, your friends watching on carefully as you stumbled away.
alba went to go after you, having just agreed with patri that you'd had your fun and a dance with the tall brunette but were too drunk to be leaving with her right now.
but as she saw a flash of blonde follow after you she turned back to the girls with a shrug, assuming her sister would take care of you instead.
you did your business and stood, the room spinning slightly as you shook your head, fixing your dress and kicking the stall door open. but as you right away saw the all too familiar figure leant against the counter clearly waiting for you, you scoffed and rolled your eyes which wasn't lost on alexia.
you chose to ignore her as she called your name, moving to wash your hands and take a moment to breathe, your head still spinning slightly as you'd stood too quickly.
"take a picture it'll last longer capitana." you snapped to the blonde who wouldn't cease staring at you, twirling her keys around her finger as she did, causing an irritating jingle to echo repeatedly around the bathroom.
"you can wave goodbye to your friend, we're leaving." alexia stated firmly, grabbing your wrist as you tried to move past her toward the door. "you wish." you laughed bitterly, trying to pull away as her grip only tightened. "let go of me." you spoke through gritted teeth in warning.
"no. you can hardly walk, i am taking you home before you do something stupid." alexia shook her head at your current state. "the only stupid thing i did was think you were capable of loving me, now let go of me alexia!" you spat venomously, unable to filter your words in your intoxicated state, a slight slur to them.
"it is because i love you that i will not let you go home with someone who couldn't care less about you and only wants to take advantage of you, you're too drunk to consent to anything. so we are leaving, now!" the catalan growled, both of your heads turning sharply to look to the bathroom door as it swung open.
"what is going on in here?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
part four
1K notes · View notes
amourrs · 1 year ago
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you're such a fucking tease, you know that? with ellie williams pretty please 😭😭🙏🏻🙏🏻
thank you angel!! — one where you wear ellie’s flannel and neither of you actually end up leaving the house (fem!reader, smut 18+, ai audios at the end, 2.2k)
You’re supposed to leave by nine, so of course Ellie gets out of the bathroom at quarter past.
It’s not the first time she’s made the pair of you run late. You’ve learned not to let it bother you like it used to though, because it’s not personal so much as it’s just shitty time management. Anyway, it’s not like you’re going anywhere fancy- just to the local Starbucks because you really want your first pumpkin spice latte of the season- but like, still. Surely everyone knows the rules: obey the timings of the pumpkin spice latte, or get cursed by the latte gods.
The sound of the toilet door clicking shut has you springing off the bed, eyes zeroing in on Ellie’s car keys on the bedside table as she bounds into the room, feet springing with every step.
“Pumpkin spice latte day— can I get a woop woop?”
Truthfully, you both know that Ellie couldn’t really care less about the seasonal drinks at Starbucks. It was more about making you happy- just like all the times she bought an iced brown sugar oatmilk shaken espresso because you were going through the Starbucks drive through and refused to get anything unless Ellie did too, because you “didn’t want to drink alone”, a sentiment she rolled her eyes at but still never challenged (which may have something to do with the fact that she orders her drink in a venti and adds two pumps of vanilla, because she secretly loves the silly little coffee just as much as you do— not that you could torture that information out of her, of course.)
You turn around with a smile, smoothing out your skirt as you look into your girlfriend’s eyes for the first time since she’s entered the room. The checkered black and red button up over your shoulders shifts as you move and you suddenly notice Ellie’s smile drop as her eyebrows arch to the very top of her forehead. Instantly you’re overtaken by a sense of complete bewilderment. That is, until you catch the glint in her eye as she slowly takes in your outfit, an expression of utter lovesickness working its way onto her face.
“Is that my flannel?”
It’s hard to bite back a grin as your girlfriend’s hand comes up to cup your face and she presses a kiss to your forehead, but you manage to do it anyway. You’ve borrowed Ellie’s clothes before— usually sort of ratty t-shirts you tend to sleep in, or oversized hoodies that smell like home— and yet every time she sees you in something that’s hers, it seems to melt her heart into a gooey puddle just as quickly as if it were the first time.
“Yeah, but I can take it off if you want,” you tease, hands sliding down until your arms are looped messily around your girlfriend’s waist and you can tug her in closer for a proper kiss. What starts off slow quickly turns messy as Ellie’s enthusiasm begins to shine through in her technique or lack thereof as the kiss deteriorates into a chaos of tongues and teeth and clashing (not that you mind, of course).
“Eh, maybe you should take it off. Red isn’t really your look,” Ellie jokes, eyes glinting at her own terrible attempt at humour. You go to roll your eyes but you’re caught off guard as an overzealous movement causes her leg to nudge hard into yours and you both fall backwards onto the bed, you trapped underneath her as you try in vain to extricate yourself from the tangled mess of her gangly limbs. Ellie makes no effort to help you— in fact, she seems to relish in the fact that you’re caged in by the lattice of her muscled arms as she gently reaches down to peck you on the lips. That one peck is of course followed by another, and another, and soon Ellie’s peppering kisses all over your face as you squeal and kick your legs.
“El, stop it. Thought we were gonna go to Starbucks and get pumpkin spice lattes,” you rebuke, head twisting until you can see the large clock over the door. You gasp as you catch sight of the long minute hand’s position. “It’s already half past! They’re probably all out of the pumpkin scones—” your complaints are cut off as Ellie returns to kissing your face again, lips smushing against yours in an almost aggressive display of affection.
“Fuck the pumpkin scones.”
Instantly your face takes on a mock-hurt expression that’s really only half a joke— not that Ellie seems to care. Her lips are already back at your temples and she’s smearing a little kiss on each side before she moves to pepper your cheeks.
“Don’t speak against the pumpkin scones. That’s blasphemy, El,” you remind her sternly, although it’s hard to keep your focus when her mouth is slowly sliding past your jawline and leaving little love bites along the column of your neck.
“M’sorry, babe. Let me make up for it, yeah?” Ellie teases, and that’s when you realise that somewhere in the midst of all the kisses Ellie’s hands have ventured under your shirt, running a hungry path from your waist to explore the expanse of your upper back. It’s impossible to contain the whine that’s begging to escape from your throat at the sensation of her warm fingers drawing circles against your skin, so you don’t. It spills into the air and Ellie laughs against your clavicle as she smears a kiss there. There’s something almost holy about the way she makes contact with you, the unbridled affection lathered in every touch as her fingers travel further upwards. You can tell when it registers in her brain that her hands had been able slide smoothly up your back with no obstruction, because she pulls back from where she’s been attacking your neck to let out a groan.
“Fuck, really? You were gonna go out without a bra on— and not tell me?” Mock betrayal saturates her words and you giggle, heart swelling about a trillion sizes as Ellie contorts her expression into a goofy frown. “S’not funny, baby,” your girlfriend complains, petulance colouring her words as she continues to keep up the facade of genuine annoyance, “what if some stranger decided to eye up the girls?”
“Oh my God, Ellie. I told you to stop calling them that.”
“They’re my girls!” she defends, eyes narrowing. “What else am I supposed to call them?”
“Thought I was your girl,” you say loftily, eyes flicking to Ellie’s panicked face.
“You are— I mean, they are— oh, fuck it,” she grumbles, hands coming up to slip the flannel right off your shoulders. There’s a pop as she pulls at the neckline impatiently and a few buttons launch themselves off of the shirt and hit the opposite wall. Your mouth falls open in shock.
“Ellie,” you admonish, “you really shouldn’t— oh, fuck!” A broken moan tears itself from your throat as you look down to see Ellie’s mouth circling your tit. She looks up for a moment in satisfaction at the sound, preening at the little gasps that continue to fall from your lips as you clutch at the sheets for purchase, before she buries her face back into your cleavage. Her hand comes up from your waist to pinch at your nipple as you whine, back arching up as you chase the stimulation.
“You’re such a fucking tease, you know that?” Ellie groans, head popping up like a jack-in-the-box as her lips chase yours, tongue forcing its way into your mouth as you kiss her back with just as much passion. “You know I can’t resist you in my clothes. Think you planned this on purpose, baby. If you wanted me to fuck you, you shoulda just told me, yeah? Don’t have to act like a little slut to get my attention.” The meanness in Ellie’s words has you keening, hips rocking up into her thigh of their own accord as warm arousal kindles in your belly.
“M’sorry,” you practically sob, hips still rolling upwards in desperate search of relief. “Ellie, please.” Your doe-eyed pleading expression clearly has your desired effect because suddenly Ellie’s hands are tightening around your waist and you find your positions flipped. Now the auburn haired girl lies beneath you, your legs wrapped directly around either side of her muscular thigh as she raises her eyebrow expectantly.
“Well, go on then,” she prompts, jolting her leg slightly to send a wave of pleasure through you as the rough denim of her jeans grazes at your clit through your panties. You wriggle your hips around slightly but you can’t find a rhythm that works, your legs growing painfully stiff within about two minutes of moving. “C’mon, babe,” Ellie tuts, hands reaching for your waist. “Tired already?”
“Hurts,” you moan, the puppy dog eyes coming back out in full force again. “El. Need you to help me, Ellie, please, I can’t and—”
You’re cut off by Ellie’s snide laugh. Dragging your eyes up to her face, you notice for the first time just how turned on she really is. Her pupils are blown so wide that her green irises are more like tiny, paper thin borders around the dilated black circles, her hair slightly dampened to her temples by sweat as she continues to chuckle at your dilemma. There’s just something about how fucking desperate you look that gets her going, makes her long to sink her canines into your neck and then tongue gently over the mark left behind, lips peppering up the column of your throat as an apology— and so she does it. It’s a nice juxtaposition to her recent meanness, reminiscent of the earlier affections which got you into this predicament in the first place, the sweetness of it making you let out a little whimper from the hollows of your chest. The sound tugs on Ellie’s heartstrings and she begins to relent, hands sliding down from where they’re snaked around your waist to find a home at the base of your hips instead.
“Okay, pretty girl, I know,” she soothes, mouthing gently at your neck still as you keen in anticipation of her movement, “I know, Ellie’s got ya. Gonna make you feel so good, yeah?” She doesn’t give you a chance to answer before she’s rocking her thigh in even motions, her hands helping your hips to tilt with the movement as your clothed cunt slides back and forth across the muscled surface. A sigh of relief spills from you as the long-awaited friction finally begins to build and you wrap your arms around Ellie’s neck, smushing your lips against hers. A pretty strawberry toned blush creeps up from your girlfriend’s neck to colour her cheeks, freckles highlighted against the surface of her skin as she attempts to hide the dopey smile that wants to make itself known on her face.
“What was that for, huh?”
“Love you,” you pant, Ellie’s hands moving faster as she bounces her thigh now, racing to give you the release you’ve been craving for the past half an hour. You shift your weight slightly and suddenly there’s a delicious pressure on your clit as it catches against the seam of Ellie’s jeans through the soaked fabric of your underwear. You moan out instantly, head tipping forward to crash into the curve between her shoulder and her neck as your hands rake across the rippled expanse of her back.
“Love you too, honey. How much d’you wanna bet that you’ll cum in the next five minutes?” You look back up to glare at her, mock offense painted across your tired features. “Or not,” Ellie rectifies quickly, a guilty look on her face as she tries not to laugh at your (quite frankly ridiculous) expression.
True to Ellie’s suspicions, it only takes you three more minutes to announce that you’re close, nails digging crescent moons into the pale skin of her shoulders.
“Ellie—”
“I know, baby,” comes her strained response, trying her hardest not to come in her pants at the way you’re whining her name. Instead, she settles for dropping her hand down to the point where your pussy drips all over her thigh, deft fingers flipping up your skirt and applying the perfect amount of pressure to your swollen clit. “Gonna cum for me, honey?”
“Oh, fuck—” you’re sobbing as your high crests over you, legs shaking as Ellie’s thumb continues to draw tight circles onto your sensitive bud until you have to physically push her away, body flopping down onto the bed in sheer exhaustion as Ellie leaves the room. You remain in that position until you hear your girlfriend call your name, your head swivelling up to meet her soft smile as she gently begins to clean you with a damp washcloth, taking extra care as you hiss when she bumps against your still overstimulated clit. You can tell there’s something on her mind as she grins to herself, and you can’t help but ask, even though you know you’ll probably regret it. “What’s up with you, weirdo?”
She looks up at you. “Huh?”
“You’re smiling like you just won a contest.” Ellie hums noncommittally and returns to her gentle ministrations with the flannel between your thighs until, finally, the question that she’s been holding back since the second you came spills out of her:
“Bet you’re not thinking about that fucking pumpkin scone now, huh?”
(You were, in fact, thinking about that fucking pumpkin scone. Not that you could torture that information out of you, of course.)
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charliemwrites · 8 months ago
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Mean Simon Part 4
Content: Panic Attack (Non-Descriptive), Hurt/Comfort, Gaslighting/Manipulation
please be safe and careful 💕
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Simon’s got a bit of a puzzle on his hands. More accurately, you’re a puzzle that’s not in his hands. And getting you there, of your own free will, is only part of it.
Sure, he could just grab you or order you. You would be helpless to his will either way. It would be simple and easy, but it wouldn’t be satisfying. Not as much as coaxing you into the trap by your own volition, anyway.
Once you were just a shy thing, now you’re downright skittish. Quick to bend the knee and bow your head, but you don’t relish in doing so. Johnny has been nothing but adoring and sweet to you, yet Simon notices you still resist flinching and tensing on contact. Never mind if Simon himself were to attempt the same, you’d work yourself into hysteria over a pat to the shoulder. Seducing you would be its own challenge - but that leaves the contradictory matter of training you.
You would be so good. He knows it.
You’re quick to learn, eager to please. But it comes from a place of fear and distrust. The former has its place, the latter its natural offspring - but neither suits Simon’s purpose in this instance. Punishment and discipline would only serve to reinforce the trenches in your mind. To stay quiet and unseen, to avoid Simon at all costs and tolerate Johnny out of self-preservation. That neither of them can be trusted, are not objects for your affection or desire. Only a facsimile with a pretty face, that makes pretty noises, and soothes Johnny with pretty touches. Nothing real; nothing either of them can actually sink their teeth into.
And so there lies the puzzle. He needs (wants) to train you into the sweet doll he knows you can be, but he has to do it in a way fundamentally different to his instinct - or he risks breaking you entirely.
Luckily, he’s a patient man. Your behavior has been acceptable so far with the barest monitoring. He has time to develop a strategy.
“Um… excuse me, Mister?” you soft voice calls.
He grunts, turning his eyes to you. You shift, fingers twisting together tightly.
“I can’t, um… so there’s a light out? In the kitchen?”
He tilts his head, waiting for you to continue.
“And I don’t know where the bulbs are,” you finish.
He tilts his head. “You didn’t go looking?”
You shake out your hands a bit, shifting. “I didn’t know if I, um, if I should? Snooping, and all…”
Simon tries to recall if he’s ever implied that you shouldn’t go through the house. He knows he explicitly warned you not to go in his bedroom and the garage. But you’ve inferred it somehow, likely from those first few months after he got you for Johnny - when he would have had some objection to you treating the house as if it were your own.
You’re well past that by now, though. Spend more time here than either of them, cleaning and cooking and sleeping. In fact, he’s surprised you haven’t stumbled across the bulbs sooner.
“Hall closet by my room.”
You hesitate for another moment. “And is there, um… a step stool anywhere…?”
He blinks. “No.”
“Oh. Uhh…” you jolt a bit. “Oh! I’ll just use a dining chair. Thank you! Um, sir.”
You dart away before he can reply. That’s going to be the first bad habit he breaks, he decides.
For lack of sating himself with you, Johnny’s been especially needy. Simon accounted for this, of course, and despite it being a punishment, he’s not so cruel as to leave Johnny hanging. It’s meant to be a learning experience too.
So Johnny is still allowed to cuddle with you (to some extent) and exchange kisses (in moderation) while Simon takes the edge off the ever-burning inferno that is his libido. Sniper he may be, Simon might have miscalculated regardless. He’s already touched-out for the day.
You’re in the kitchen, prepping for a nicer dinner at Simon’s request before their next deployment. It’ll take a couple hours to cook, so you’re assembling everything early. Or at least trying to - because Johnny will not leave you the fuck alone.
He’s underfoot, making a nuisance of himself. Kissing at your neck and face, wrapping himself around you while you bustle about, stealing ingredients off of cutting boards, talking in your ear nonstop. Most days you wouldn’t mind - or would appear that way, at least. But today is not most days.
Simon is sitting on a stool on the other side of the counter when you reach capacity.
With Johnny still plastered to your back, you try to reach for something (for the umpteenth time) and trip over his feet. You knock over an open carton of stock, splattering translucent brown all over the floors, counters, cabinets, and yourselves.
“Fuck,” you cry, “Johnny.”
Your voice breaks on his name. Johnny freezes. Simon can see fault lines in every inch of your stiff body. How carefully you manage each movement as you disentangle yourself from Johnny and usher him away from the worst of the mess. You’re about to fall apart.
“Och, I’m sorry, hen. Lemme help—“
“It’s alright,” you interrupt, chin low as you pivot, snagging the paper towels off the counter. “I’ve got it. Just… stay there.”
Johnny opens his mouth to protest, about to help anyway, but Simon tuts in disapproval.
The kitchen is smothered in an awful silence as you clean, Johnny growing more shame-faced with each rip of the towel roll.
Unobstructed, you manage to clean up in only a couple of minutes, making an extra pass with a damp towel to wipe up any residue. When you’re finished, you wet another and offer it to Johnny to wipe off. Then do the same for yourself. Always, you keep your face obscured or hidden, body oriented away, tight and rigid.
When you spin to gather up the dirty towels, Simon sees how your eyes glimmer. You remember he’s there too at the same time.
“Sir, I’m so sorry. I d-don’t, um…” you have to take a breath to gather your voice. “There’s not enough for dinner now.”
Simon considers that for a beat.
“Johnny’ll run out ‘n get more.”
You swallow thickly. “Okay. I’m sorry, sir.”
“‘S not your fault. Kitchen only needed one cook, yeah?”
You make a noise that, if he was hard of hearing and listening through earmuffs, could almost be agreement.
“I-I’m gonna go wash off…” you rub your hands together nervously. “If that’s alright.”
“G’on.”
You’re gone in an instant. Simon can already hear you sniffling. He stands.
Johnny turns huge, pathetic eyes on him.
“‘M sorry, Si. Really, I didn’t mean to—“
“But you did,” Simon interrupts sharply. “Because you were being a rude little shit and playing too rough.”
Johnny gulps, looks a bit misty-eyed himself. Simon sighs and scrubs an exasperated hand through his mohawk.
“Go get the stock,” he orders, milder. “And an extra treat for the sweetie. Something actually for her. Understood?”
Johnny always does better with clear instructions. He perks up at being given a mission - and an avenue for making things up to you. He hurries off with a pep in his step.
Simon waits until the door is shut before seeking you out. You’re in the bathroom, as you said you would be. He can hear you muffling cries behind the door.
He taps his knuckles twice against the wood. It goes dead silent.
“Jus’ me,” he calls.
There’s a quick splash of water, the flutter of fabric, and then you crack the door open. Your face is cry-flushed, eyes red-rimmed and still glossy. You can’t look past his chest, mouth curved down.
“I-I’m really sorry about the-the mess, and dinner, and…”
“Stop apologizing,” he says, gentling his voice to take the edge off the command. “If there was something to be sorry for, you’d know.”
You swipe quickly at a tear that squeezes out. He tsks softly.
“Bit strung out today, eh?”
“Just… didn’t sleep well, is all,” you answer. “And I didn’t get a chance to nap.”
Right, he’s noted that, in the back of his mind. That you spend small portions of the day sleeping. Usually an hour or two at a time. But Johnny’s been so high maintenance today that you’ve hardly had a moment of peace.
“Cranky? Is that it?” he asks.
You look more miserable. “Just tired,” you answer.
He hums. Willing to bet it’s more than just a bad night of sleep. Poor thing.
“Sor - I mean… I know I’m not supposed to…” you rub at your eyes, drooping.
He tilts his head. “Not s’posed to what?”
“Cry or-or be annoying or…”
He coos. “You’ve got all these rules for yourself, don’t you?”
You sniffle again, hugging yourself tightly as you shrug.
The hunter in Simon perks. There.
“Look’it.” He takes your chin between thumb and forefinger, guiding your gaze up to his.
You blink slowly, heavily, wet lashes sticking together.
“What sort of terrible world have you built up in your mind, hm?” he soothes. “Never told you not to do any of that, did I?”
You blink, confused and upset.
“N-no, I guess… not.”
“No,” he confirms. “You’re spun up so tight you’re starting to fray, little one.”
You shudder, swaying into him a bit. He used the movement to slide his hand to your jaw, massaging his thumb into the tight muscle by your ear.
“From now on, you only follow the rules I give you, yeah?” he says, low and quiet. “Dunno why you think I’m so mean. I won’t punish you if you don’t know better.”
You squeeze your eyes shut, as if trying to resist the hypnotic lull of letting someone else think for you. But you still lean into his palm.
“How’s this,” he offers, “if you’re ever unsure, you ask me. Wont get mad at you for asking. Yeah?”
And finally, that wire twisted up between your shoulder blades loosens.
“Yes, sir.”
Johnny comes home with a chocolate cupcake. Simon approves it before sending him to you, decompressing on the couch with a cuppa.
You blink as Johnny drops heavily to his knees, placing the packaged cupcake in your hand.
“Lass, I’m sorry for bein’ so rough,” he begins, bowing his forehead to your knees. “Dinnae mean to, but I still upset ye, interrupted dinner when ye were workin’ so hard.” He tilts his face up, hitting you with the full force of his apologetic blue eyes. “Forgive me?”
You mouth parts, genuine shock washing over your features. “Y-yeah, Johnny, of course. I know you didn’t mean to. I was just having a bad day.”
But that doesn’t mollify him.
“I couldnae tell. You were just… goin’ on as usual.”
“I know. It’s okay.”
You set your tea aside to place your hand over his, trying to reassure him. But Simon knows his pup and you’ve just unwittingly put a thorn in his paw.
“I’ll get back to dinner now.” You lean in, drop a kiss to Johnny’s furrowed brow. “Thank you for apologizing. And the cupcake.”
Johnny stands with you. “At least let me help proper this time?”
You smile, though it’s tinged with exhaustion. “Sure. C’mon.”
Simon takes his place at the counter again and keeps a careful eye on you both. Things are a lot smoother this time round. Johnny follows your quiet instructions, happy to be useful. You seem to settle with dinner plans back on track.
Once everything is set to slow cook, Simon herds you and Johnny back to the den.
“Pick a movie, lamb.”
You blink from the corner of the couch you’ve curled up in. “Me?”
“You.”
You seem so surprised that you just blurt out a title. Simon hums and queues it up while Johnny all but interrogates you for the plot. As the opening scenes flicker across the screen, you snuggle in further, even tugging a blanket off the back of the couch to bundle up on.
Johnny shoots you a longing look - you’re too engrossed in the movie - so Simon snags him by the back of the neck and tucks him into his side.
You fall asleep two-thirds of the way through, but Simon lets you. Likes watching you breathe, face soft and smooth. Can’t for the life of him even recall what’s on the telly.
That night, after a quiet (but peaceful) dinner, and everyone’s showers, Simon ushers Johnny to the room he usually shares with you. Hope flickers across the pup’s face, confusion and trepidation across yours.
“In the middle, Johnny,” Simon rumbles. “The little one by the window.”
You and Johnny comply, cuddling in. Simon takes the side closest to the door, grunting a bit when Johnny instantly clings on.
“Is this the new arrangement?” Johnny asks eagerly.
“Go to sleep,” Simon answers.
He grumbles, but settles in. On the other side of the bed, there’s a bit of shuffling. Then your voice whispering, “Good night.”
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genshingorlsrevengeance · 7 months ago
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Chris, I suffer of simpinitis and the only cure is you to write for Arlecchino (just a joke don't feel pressured especially if you end up not liking her also good luck if you're pulling for her)
(Genshin Impact) Arlecchino, Lynette, Xianyun, and Barbara's S/O getting scared by a spider
I don't plan on pulling for her because Clorinde is showing up, but FEAR NOT ANON! Quoth the FFXIV:
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Arlecchino watches with vague amusement as S/O suddenly leaps back, nearly into her arms.
She catches them with minimal effort as her eyes slowly track tiny movement on the floor.
A spider was skittering across the floor at a slow pace, making her gaze trail back to S/O.
(Arlecchino) "Spiders are not very likely to attack humans without being provoked. And even then, that is under the most dire of circumstances-"
(S/O) "I-I know, but...they're just creepy!"
(Arlecchino) "Indeed."
With a hum of acknowledgement, she almost drops S/O to the ground as they barely caught themselves in time.
Arlecchino walks over to the spider and gently puts it in a cup before releasing it outside.
She crosses her arms as distant memories from her past came trickling in.
(Arlecchino) "You wouldn't have liked Bambi."
(S/O) "Who's that?"
(Arlecchino) "A pet spider that I once owned."
(S/O) Of course you owned one...
They were smart enough to not say that out loud, but Arlecchino had the faintest hint of a smile on her lips.
She probably knew what they were thinking anyway.
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Even when she was spacing out, Lynette could easily spot something moving in the corner of her eye.
(Lynette) "Oh, a spider-"
(S/O) "WHAT?!"
S/O immediately balled up onto the couch, head rapidly darting back and forth.
(S/O) "W-WHERE?!"
Lynette's ears twitched from how loud S/O was being, but she easily grabbed the spider in a cup, noting how S/O was inching away from her.
(Lynette) "It's not even a dangerous kind, just a regular-"
(S/O) "I don't care what it is, just throw it out!"
Lynette smiled and gently let it escape out the house.
As she sat back down next to S/O, her tail swished playfully, though Lynette herself was stoic as ever.
(Lynette) "What are you going to do when i'm not here?"
(S/O) "D-Don't tease me!"
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Xianyun adjusts her glasses when she sees a spider on the table.
S/O almost dropped their food completely at the sight of it, while Xianyun looked slightly annoyed.
(Xianyun) "How unsightly for a dinner table."
With a small gust of wind, she flicks it away, making S/O leap out their seat.
(S/O) "GAH! D-Don't fling it at me!"
(Xianyun) "One was not aiming at you, dear. Do be careful, otherwise your plate will drop."
S/O took a deep breath of relief while Xianyun continued to eat.
(Xianyun) "Hm...One has an idea for an invention. We could construct you a machine that can take care of household pests like that."
(S/O) "...W-Would you?"
Xianyun suddenly beams with pride, a gleam of light reflecting off her glasses.
(Xianyun) "Fear not, One will make sure you are never bothered by a spider ever again! We will get started straight away after dinner."
What ended up happening was Xianyun constructed a machine that was too good at killing household pests, to the point it broke parts of the wall.
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Both Barbara and S/O yelp when they see a spider speed along the tiles of the Cathedral.
(S/O) "Aw man, it's going up to the ceiling!"
(Barbara) "I-It's not going to drop on our heads, is it?!"
The two exchanged a look that said neither were wanting to find out the answer.
Accepting defeat, the two quickly exited the cathedral out onto the plaza.
(S/O) "Do you think we could ask one of the sisters to help us?"
(Barbara) "U-Um...well-"
It didn't take long for either of them to realize that it'd be absolutely mortifying to ask a sister for something so trivial.
Instead, they decided to practice their singing outside.
Which arguably, was worse since spiders could be anywhere, but it didn't seem to cross their minds as they slowly became comfortable again and laughed the situation off.
Until the next day they forgot about it and entered the cathedral, only to be jumpscared by it as it sat on the pews they were at.
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creamflix · 1 month ago
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hi friends!! `(*>﹏<*)′ a little buffer from kinktober to introduce a little au i had in mind, involving salaryman! choso being paired up with you (a 4th year uni graduate) for a blind date — will it be for better or for worse? — publishing this only to gauge a response on the concept, so please enjoy! [and let me know your thoughts in the comments, please] ⓘ please note that this story will contain heavy themes of ageism, insecurity that comes with it and age gaps (reader is 22/23, choso is 27), so if you aren't comfortable with that then uh...anyways! update: please read this post regarding the aforementioned ⓘ this is beta and is not indicative of the final work
you didn’t expect him to be so… old.
as you approach the booth, you realize this isn’t what you had in mind at all. sure, blind dates are supposed to be unpredictable, but this feels a little too much. he’s sitting there, awkwardly out of place in his formal suit, looking like he just stepped out of an office meeting. it’s clear he didn’t have time to change. his hair is tousled, his tie slightly crooked, and his eyes are focused on the street outside the window, lost in thought.
for a second, you wonder if you should’ve picked a different cafe — something less... youthful. maybe he would’ve fit in better in one of those quiet, old-school coffee shops. but no, this place feels right for you, and isn’t that what matters? still, the disconnect between you two is painfully clear.
he looks so stiff... does he even want to be here?
you clear your throat, feeling the nervous energy crawl up your spine. his head snaps toward you, eyes blinking in surprise. it’s like he didn’t expect you to actually show up, and honestly, you’re starting to feel the same way. his eyes settle on your face, and for a second, neither of you say anything.
she’s young. a lot younger than i thought. 
choso feels a wave of awkwardness wash over him as you sit down across from him. his mind races, trying to make sense of this. what was he thinking, agreeing to this blind date? he feels out of place, like he doesn’t belong here — especially not with someone like you. the trendy, casual vibe of the cafe makes him feel even more out of his element, and your energy contrasts sharply with his own.
he’s not sure what to say, how to start. you must feel it too, the gap between your lives. still, you offer him a small, friendly smile, trying to ease into things.
"you must be...y/n?" he finally speaks, his voice quiet but deep, carrying a slight rasp to it. his eyes are still on you, like he’s trying to figure out what exactly he’s gotten himself into.
"yeah, that’s me," you answer, hoping your voice doesn’t betray your nerves. "and you’re... choso?"
"yeah," he nods, a little too formally, like he’s on autopilot. how am i supposed to keep this going? she probably thinks i’m boring as hell.
you glance at him, taking in the way his fingers tap nervously against the table, the awkwardness of his posture. despite his cool, reserved demeanor, it’s obvious he’s not as composed as he seems. he’s definitely not used to this kind of setting. he looks uncomfortable, like he’d rather be anywhere but here, yet at the same time, there’s something about him that feels... genuine.
“came straight from work?” you ask, trying to break the silence with something light, something neutral. 
he exhales quietly, his shoulders tensing. “yeah... didn’t have time to change.” his eyes lower to his suit, almost apologetic. “didn’t know it would be this casual.”
i should’ve known. this place is way too trendy. i probably look like some out-of-touch guy. he mentally kicks himself, feeling the awkwardness settle into his bones. he wasn’t expecting you to look so energetic and lively, not in a place like this.
“no worries,” you smile, leaning in slightly. “you look good.” you say it casually, hoping to ease the tension, even though you feel like you’re navigating some unspoken awkwardness between you two. he’s formal, sure, but there’s something oddly endearing about the way he’s trying, even though it’s clear this isn’t his comfort zone.
choso feels a small sense of relief wash over him on hearing your words. he’s used to people thinking he’s cold or distant, but you seem... different. your eyes are kind, understanding, even though the situation is a bit awkward. “thanks... you look nice too.” his compliment comes out stiff, almost hesitant, but it’s the truth. there’s something about the way you carry yourself, like you’re comfortable in your own skin, and it makes him feel a little more at ease, even if just for a moment.
the silence between you two stretches a little too long again, and you glance down at the menu, searching for a way to keep things moving. okay, it’s not that bad. just need to keep it going.
“so... what do you do?” you ask, hoping to find some common ground.
“finance,” he says, his voice flat. great, she’s going to think i’m the most boring person on earth. “long hours... mostly desk work. nothing exciting.” he rubs the back of his neck awkwardly, his gaze dropping to the table for a second before flicking back up to you.
you nod slowly, processing his answer. figures. he looks like someone who’s always buried in work. no wonder he seems so tense. but instead of judging him, you find yourself wanting to know more. “sounds like a lot of responsibility,” you say, genuinely curious.
“it can be,” he admits, his voice softer now. “but... it pays the bills.” wow, real smooth, choso. she’s probably ready to leave now. he mentally berates himself for sounding so... mundane.
but instead of checking out, you smile. “well, at least you’re stable, right? that’s better than a lot of people can say.” there’s a lightness to your voice that catches him off guard.
she’s still interested? even after that? choso feels the tension in his chest ease just a little more. maybe... this won’t be a complete disaster after all.
“yeah... stability’s important.” he nods, feeling the conversation inch forward, slowly but surely. and though the gap between you still feels wide, there’s something about your patience, your willingness to keep things light, that makes him feel like maybe he’s not screwing this up as badly as he thought.
choso shifts in his seat, fingers still tapping nervously against the edge of the table. the conversation’s been flowing, albeit awkwardly, but there’s one thing gnawing at him, something he can’t shake.
she’s young. too young, probably. he sneaks a glance at you again, taking in your bright expression, the way you seem so at ease compared to him. the cafe, the casual vibe — it all fits you so perfectly, but it’s a stark contrast to the formality he’s wrapped in. how old is she?
the question lingers in his mind, making his chest tighten. his stomach churns at the thought of there being a ridiculous age gap. what if she’s fresh out of college? god, what if she’s still in it? he feels like a complete idiot for not asking earlier. he should’ve known better before agreeing to this blind date. what if this is wildly inappropriate?
but you seem so relaxed, so unbothered. you don’t give off the energy of someone who's too young to understand life’s responsibilities. yet, he can’t shake the feeling.
you notice his tension, the way his brow furrows slightly as if he’s lost in thought. you tilt your head, curiosity bubbling up. what’s going on in his head? he seems so quiet, so introspective, but you can tell something’s on his mind.
before you can ask, choso clears his throat, shifting in his seat again. “uh… i have to ask,” he says hesitantly, his voice quieter than before. “how… how old are you?”
you blink, a little surprised by the question. oh. so that’s what’s been bugging him. it makes sense now — the way he’s been glancing at you, almost like he’s worried about something. you can practically see the unease in his eyes.
“i’m in my last year of university,” you answer, trying to keep your tone light, even though you can see how his face stiffens at your words. “i’m 22. turning 23 soon.”
choso's chest tightens as your answer settles in. 22. she’s 22. his mind spirals, and suddenly, everything feels... wrong. his stomach twists, panic bubbling up as he realizes the gap isn’t just a small difference — it’s enough to make him feel like he’s completely out of place.
he’s inching toward his 30s, for god’s sake — he’s 27. what am i even doing here? the age difference hits him hard, and it feels like the ground beneath him is shifting. the casual banter, your youthful energy, the trendy cafe — it all feels like he’s intruding on a part of life that’s slipping further away from him with every year that passes.
you, on the other hand, seem so relaxed, so at ease. you’re in your last year of university, talking about the future like it’s this bright, endless horizon. choso can barely remember what that felt like. i’m too old for this. i shouldn’t be here.
“27,” he mumbles under his breath, almost like he’s reminding himself how out of place he is. his fingers fidget with the edge of his tie, pulling it loose in discomfort. he can feel the weight of his age pressing down on him, the years of work and responsibility stretching out between you like a chasm.
he can’t stop thinking about the difference between you two, the way your lives are in such completely different places. what am i doing on a date with someone still in school?
“choso?” your voice pulls him back, and he looks up, meeting your eyes. there’s no judgment in your gaze — just curiosity, maybe a little concern. but that only makes it worse.
his mouth opens, but no words come out at first. he feels trapped in this moment, caught in a moral crisis he can’t shake. he shifts in his seat, uncomfortable with how much younger you are, how carefree you seem compared to the life he’s been living for the past few years.
“i’m sorry,” he blurts out suddenly, standing up so quickly he almost knocks his chair back. your eyes widen in surprise, and he can see the confusion on your face, but he can’t help it. he feels like he’s suffocating, like this is all wrong.
“i... i don’t think this is a good idea,” he stammers, the words rushing out faster than he can stop them. his heart pounds in his chest, and he feels like he’s losing control of the situation, like the gap between your lives is too big to ignore. “i didn’t realize... the difference.”
you blink, stunned, and for a moment, it’s like neither of you knows what to say.
“wait, what do you mean?” you finally ask, your voice small, trying to understand. you weren’t expecting this reaction at all.
“i’m too old for this,” choso mutters, shaking his head. “you’re still in school, and i’m... i’m almost 30.” his hands run through his hair in frustration, like he’s trying to pull himself out of his own thoughts. “i shouldn’t have come.”
he can’t even look at you, the weight of the situation too heavy on his shoulders. he feels like he’s crossed a line just by showing up, like he’s made a huge mistake. his heart races, his mind overwhelmed with guilt and confusion.
“i’m sorry,” he says again, softer this time, his voice thick with regret. “i just... i need to go.”
before you can say anything else, before you can stop him or reassure him, he’s already walking out of the cafe, his footsteps quick and uneven.
— ✿ —
choso can’t get home fast enough. as soon as he steps out of the cafe, his heart hammers in his chest, guilt flooding his mind. what was i thinking? he curses himself silently, dragging a hand through his messy hair. the cool night air does little to calm the storm brewing in his head. it’s not like you did anything wrong — you were kind, understanding even, but the age gap weighed on him like a brick tied to his chest. how could they match me up with someone still in university? i’m almost 30!
his footsteps echo down the quiet street as he makes his way to his apartment, frustration building. blind dates were always a gamble, but this felt like a cosmic joke. he’s a working adult, buried in spreadsheets and deadlines, and you’re still navigating the last stretch of your education. who thought this was a good idea?
by the time he reaches his front door, he’s exhausted — not just physically, but mentally too. pushing open the door, he’s greeted by the familiar clutter of his younger brother yuuji’s sneakers tossed carelessly near the entrance. choso sighs, toeing off his shoes and stepping inside. before he can even fully process the fact that he’s home, yuuji’s voice calls out from the living room.
“oi, nii-chan! how’d the date go?” yuuji appears in the doorway, eyes bright and curious, his high school uniform still on even though it’s late. there’s a smirk on his face, and he’s clearly eager for the details.
choso groans, his shoulders slumping as he tosses his coat onto the nearby chair. he doesn’t want to talk about it, not when his mind is still spinning with awkwardness and regret. but yuuji is persistent, already closing in on him like an excited puppy.
“it... didn’t go well,” choso mutters, walking toward the kitchen, hoping to avoid his brother’s barrage of questions.
“what?!” yuuji exclaims, trailing after him. “seriously? why? was she not your type or something?”
choso grabs a glass of water, the cool liquid doing little to quench the unease still gnawing at him. he sets the glass down with a heavy sigh, leaning against the counter. “it’s not that... it’s just... she was way too young, yuuji.” he runs a hand through his hair again, staring down at the floor. “she’s still in university, and i’m... i’m almost 30. it just felt wrong.”
yuuji blinks at him for a moment, completely dumbfounded, before he bursts out laughing. his reaction is so loud and sudden that choso flinches.
“that’s it? seriously?” yuuji slaps his hands against the counter, still laughing. “you’re freaking out because she’s still in school?”
choso frowns, clearly not amused by his younger brother’s reaction. “yuuji, it’s a big deal. i’m 27. she’s 22. that’s a huge difference.”
“dude, it’s not like she’s 12 or something,” yuuji fires back, still grinning, though his tone has a hint of exasperation. “she’s literally an adult! and it’s not illegal, so why are you acting like it is?”
“it’s not about it being illegal,” choso mutters, rubbing his temples. “it just... felt off.”
yuuji throws his hands in the air, clearly baffled. “bro, you’re making it weird! she’s, what, like five years younger? that’s nothing! you know how old dad was when he met mom? they had like a 10-year difference!”
choso winces at the mention of their parents. not the comparison he wanted to hear right now.
yuuji leans against the counter next to him, crossing his arms. “okay, listen,” he begins, his voice full of that kid-like certainty that makes him sound so sure of himself, even when his logic is all over the place. “you’re overthinking it. she’s in university, yeah, but she’s probably got her life together more than half the adults you work with! and honestly, five years is, like... nothing. by the time you’re both old, it’s not gonna matter if you’re 85 and she’s 80. you’re both just gonna be old.”
choso blinks at him, a little thrown off by the bluntness of yuuji’s reasoning. he opens his mouth to argue, but yuuji barrels on.
“and anyway,” yuuji says, his voice getting louder with the passion of his rant, “what’s the big deal? if you like her and she likes you, who cares about the stupid number? she probably didn’t even care, and you ran out like a scared old man.”
choso stares at him, the words sinking in slowly. he’s got a point... a childish point, but still. yuuji’s logic is clumsy, but there’s truth in it. maybe he was being too paranoid.
“you can’t just run away from this stuff because you’re afraid of a little difference,” yuuji adds, his tone softer now, but still full of that youthful conviction. “if she was cool, you should’ve just given it a shot.”
choso sighs, staring down into his glass of water. yuuji’s words echo in his mind, the absurdity of the situation starting to feel a little less... suffocating. he’s right. you didn’t seem to care, so why did he?
“maybe you’re right,” choso finally says, his voice low. “maybe i was thinking too much.”
yuuji grins triumphantly, punching choso lightly on the arm. “damn right i’m right! now, next time, don’t be such a wuss.”
choso rolls his eyes, but a small smile tugs at his lips despite himself. yuuji’s reasoning may have been boorish and a bit clumsy, but it hit the mark in a way choso hadn’t expected. maybe it wasn’t as big of a deal as he made it out to be.
“thanks,” choso says quietly, glancing at his younger brother. “i needed that.”
yuuji just shrugs, already moving toward the fridge for a snack. “anytime, nii-chan. but seriously, stop thinking so hard. it’s not good for your hairline.”
choso leans against the counter, swirling the last bit of water in his glass as yuuji continues raiding the fridge. he feels a little better after his brother’s impromptu rant, the panic starting to fade. maybe i did overthink it. but just as he’s starting to relax, a new realization hits him like a freight train.
he didn’t get your number.
his eyes widen, and he straightens up, almost dropping the glass. “shit,” he mutters under his breath. yuuji, who’s in the middle of biting into an apple, glances over.
“what now?” yuuji asks, his voice muffled around the apple.
choso runs a hand through his hair, his face scrunching in frustration. “i didn’t get her number.”
yuuji freezes, mid-bite, staring at his older brother like he’s just said something incredibly stupid. “wait... what?”
“i left the cafe without getting her number,” choso repeats, more panicked now that the reality has set in. “how am i supposed to talk to her again? i don’t even know her last name.”
yuuji slams his apple onto the counter, eyes blazing with frustration. “are you serious?!” he practically shouts, throwing his arms in the air. “you had one job, nii-chan! you didn’t even get her number?!”
choso winces, rubbing the back of his neck. “it didn’t exactly come up...”
“oh my god,” yuuji groans, shaking his head in disbelief. “this is why you’re single, bro. you can’t just run out of a date and not get her number!” he paces around the kitchen, clearly fuming, as if choso had committed some unforgivable sin.
“i know, i know,” choso sighs, feeling the weight of his mistake. what was he thinking?
yuuji stops pacing and suddenly whirls around, his eyes lit up with determination. “we’re going back to that cafe. right now.”
choso blinks, confused. “what? why?”
“because, idiot,” yuuji says, grabbing his jacket off the back of a chair and tossing it to choso, “you’re going to find her, apologize, and get her damn number! before she thinks you ghosted her or something.” he grabs his own jacket, already heading toward the door. “and i’m coming with you to make sure you don’t screw this up again.”
“yuuji, you don’t have to —”
“yes, i do,” yuuji cuts him off, yanking the door open with more force than necessary. “let’s go. we’re finding this girl.”
with no room to argue, choso follows his brother out the door, guilt twisting in his gut. i really messed up.
as they walk through the streets, yuuji keeps up a steady stream of grumbling, mostly about how ridiculous it is that choso managed to forget something as basic as asking for your number. choso stays quiet, letting his brother vent, the weight of the situation sinking deeper.
when they finally reach the cafe, yuuji whistles in approval, taking in the cozy vibe. “okay, this place is actually cool. good choice on her part.”
“yeah, it was nice,” choso mutters, scanning the cafe from the entrance. but his heart sinks when he realizes you’re not there. of course you wouldn’t still be here. he’d been gone for too long.
yuuji’s expression falls too when he notices choso’s face. “damn. she already left?”
choso nods, his stomach churning with regret. what did i expect? that she’d just sit here waiting for me to come back after i bailed like that? he moves toward the counter, trying to keep his disappointment in check. maybe someone saw her. maybe i can at least get her name.
he approaches the barista, clearing his throat. “excuse me, did you happen to see a girl sitting by the window earlier? maybe wearing a beige coat?”
the barista looks up, raising an eyebrow before shaking her head. “sorry, i’ve been busy with orders. didn’t really notice anyone in particular.”
choso nods, stepping back, feeling the weight of the moment crash down on him. no number, no name, and now no way to find her.
yuuji, still at the door, sighs deeply. “well, that sucks.”
choso stands there for a moment, staring at the empty booth where you had sat, the awkwardness of the situation settling in. he really screwed this up.
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eyesofshinigami · 8 months ago
Text
3, 2, 1, Fight!
Rating: General Audiences
Tags: Meet Ugly, Steve and Dustin are brothers, pre-relationship
Written for the STWG daily drabble prompt: not a meet cute but a meet ugly
This is not at all how Steve pictured his Saturday going. He could be anywhere, instead, he’s standing in a comic book shop, fighting over a toy with another grown man who looks like he’s going to beat Steve over the head with it.
“Let go!” the guy yells, trying to tug the action figure out of Steve’s hands
“No, you let go!” Steve yells back, yanking it back. He has to give the guy props, though. He’s just as relentless as Steve is.
The guy sputters, an attractive shade of pink coloring his cheeks as his curly hair falls in his face. Wait, what? “Fuck off, why are you even here? Don’t you belong in a gym or something?”
Steve scoffs, still yanking. “Does it matter why I’m here? Just let go already!”
Dustin had been asking for this action figure for months now, talking about it and showing Steve newspaper clippings and TV commercials. Steve, being the good big brother he is, promised their mom that he would do his best to get it for him for his upcoming birthday. He’d be damned if he was going to let some punk, albeit a very attractive punk, take it away from him. Why did they only put three out on the shelf anyway?
They play tug of war for another few minutes, until the bewildered clerk, who had been watching their exchange, finally butts in and says, “Uh, I think I might have another one in the back? Can you wait here?”
They both nod, neither of them letting go of the toy. “I wish he would have said that in the first place,” Steve grouses, watching the clerk disappear behind a door. “Why they only put out a couple of copies of a toy I will never understand.”
It’s Hot Guy’s turn to sputter. “Toy? TOY? This, sir, is the limited edition statue of Kas the Betrayer that Wizard of the Coast put out to celebrate the anniversary of his DnD release! Not that you would care about any of that, you troglodyte.”
Steve has no idea what any of that means. “Oh, so that’s why Dustin wanted it. Makes sense now. He loves that guy.”
“Wait, it’s not for you?”
“Uh, no? It’s for my kid brother’s birthday. He loves that Dorks and Dragons game and he ran a Kas… uh… campaign? Last year? It was his first time. Kas is kind of a big deal to him.”
The other guy starts to look a little contemplative, but that’s when the clerk appears with another, much less rankled looking box. Steve immediately lets the one in his hands go and takes that one instead. “Thanks, man. I appreciate it.”
The clerk shrugs and heads back behind the counter. Meanwhile, Hot Guy tugs his hair in front of his face. “Uh, look. I’m sorry I said such shitty things over a toy. It’s just, Kas is kind of a big deal to me too. You could have just said.”
Steve waves him off. “No worries, I get it. But now we both have one.” He pauses and considers a second. It’s worth a shot. “You could make it up to me over lunch in the food court.”
Hot Guy’s eyes go wide. “Are you serious?”
Okay, wow. “Well, I was, but you can just say no, you don’t have to-“
“No, no, no!” Hot Guy says, waving his arms around, nearly dropping the box he fought so hard for. “No, I’d like that. Eddie,” he says, holding out a hand. That pretty pink flush is back. Steve kind of wants to see how far it goes down.
“Steve. Now let’s go, before any more wayward nerds decide they want to fight us over these.”
Eddie, dork that he is, bows and motions towards the cash register, “By your leave, my prince.”
Steve rolls his eyes. He always did like the nerdy ones.
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