#like nah thats his found family to me I like them that way <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[pixelatedraindrops]

Mm I think I'm slightly into makoyuma/yumako.

But I like them platonically. I just love them together in general.

As brothers or friends idc they are the duo ever.

They make me happy 💜

[thewiglesswonder]

I'd be hard pressed to say I don't enjoy collector at all (I have merch of him after all). But my feelings towards him are complicated, he was great in s2, but in s3 I couldn't help but feel like the crew felt like they couldn't redeem him as is. That they felt they needed to absolve him of doing anything actually wrong so all his potential crimes are either nonexistent, blamed on other collectors/belos, or pretty much swept under the rug.

When we saw that collector back in KKKOHD it was like " Oooo this is intriguing, who is this and whats their deal?". Dana even showed off her half of collector's face during the charity event and saying "you've technically already met them" . So it was like "oooo the collector who caught the owl beast!".

And then it keeps ramping up, we have Philip find him, he's introduced as childish but sinister, he has a murder cult who worships him, he slams belos into a wall and angrily forces king to stay with him from luz.

And then-

Nah, he's unaware of death, misunderstood, hates said cult, and not even the same collector we met who caught the owl beast.

It felt like we were building up a very different kind of collector then what we got. This child who played with his food and didn't care who got hurt unless he was having fun, who caused the curse and pissed off the titan so much he hid his son away, and then everything that made him more grey just.... was not his fault at all.

And then on top of this there are just things between ep2 and 3 that don't make sense or are dropped, he doesn't understand death but crosses out a whole chapter in his book explicitly about genocide, which implies he does understand death? Belos tricks him into thinking King wants him dead and collector litterally gets over it by the next episode that i kinda don't see what the point was? He is shown to feel jealous over luz and angry about her arrival, but by the next episode he litterally starts the episode claiming to want to be her friend? How does he know about the cult but not know about death given they KILL titans?

Heck, FTF ends on him sinisterly saying he wants to play a new game, but WAD claims the dream sequence was belos's idea, not his, so its extremely misleading.

I'm not even opposed to the idea of a character being built up to be sinister only to reveal they never actually were and it was just a lie built on misunderstandings and paranoia. But it didn't feel nearly as well built up as it could've been.

And then on top of this, collector cries over luz dying as if its the first time he's felt this way, despite knowing her as a friend for a few hours max? He's never cried before? Not when the titans who were his friends were killed or when he got locked up? And then despite this being here to teach him about death being permanent, luz basically instantly comes back.

And after all of this, after what he did to the people on the isles, he just....leaves. he doesn't stay to help repair the isles that he partially damaged, and despite the show having a found family message and collector not wanting to be alone....he leaves....to be alone. So his redemption rests on a few hours of life lessons with luz, luz's not permanent death, and then thats enough to change his whole world view so its perfectly fine if he goes off on his own now I guess.

Collector pretty much goes out entirely unpunished for anything, the isles shows no lasting anger to him, he keeps his friendship with king, luz didn't actually die, so there's really no strong consequences for what he did. He feels bad for the draining spell and stuff but thats really it, he doesn’t stay to repent or anything. I know he's a child but he might be the child character who got off the easiest for his actions this entire series, and what he was responsible for wasn't light either.

I like the idea behind collector, but I don't understand entirely the love surrounding him because the writing surrounding him and his arc is confusing and it read to me like they were bending over backwards to erase any trace of him doing anything bad of his own violation or just not taking it as seriously as they should of.

Trying to redeem a collector who did intentionally hurt others , who does work hard to repent, and who learns over a longer period of time, would of felt more satisfying and would've been more interesting.

I hardly have anything to add to this, you've summed up pretty much every issue I take with the little guy! I'm not denying that he's a bad concept or a bad character, the execution of his supposed arc and intensely conflicting information we were given about him through the course of the last half of the show, coupled with the fact that he's always kind of felt like he appeared out of nowhere to me, I hate to say it, but he really hurts the narrative more than he helps it as-is. More energy, time, and really thought put into him would soothe a lot of these issues.

[fangirlingatstuff]

Ronin and reader headcannons (w/ romance if thats fine I couldnt find ur rules page sorry) , you and MK had shrunk together, so maybe sometime after the movie, Nod and Him become "stomper" size and MK's like: "nah dude you gotta go to Y/n's house" and they go to your large slightly dysfunctional loving family to regroup and stuff. You have become my new favorite account bc i found no one who writes Epic, especially Ronin. <3 You have been followed and will be loved aggressively

Yay! Welcome to the club lol the fandom may be slightly dead but that doesnt keep some of us from making content XD Hope you like this hun! Haven’t written much for Ronin so this is fun!

This is definitely not based off of my family nooo why would you think that??? (Tho I only have one brother lol)

When you had first shrunken down and met Ronin, you hadn't been as trustful as MK was.

Given, you went with MK as emotional support so she had someone to fall back on if things didn't go well with her dad, and after being shrunken while stressing about helping out your friend, you were a lot more on edge than she was.

When Ronin made it his job to escort the both of you to Nim's, you weren't as receptive of the idea as MK was, but hey, MK was kind of in need of a strong figure in her life and you weren't going to argue with that.

Over the period of that day, seeing Ronin, talking to him, noticing his own grief, even though he was pretty attractive and it made your heart skip a beat when he pulled you in by the waist to get you away from MK's crazy pug, you told yourself "we just met” and left it at that.

So imagine your surprise, several months later, when MK shows up with both leafmen while your youngest siblings were causing mayhem in the kitchen, your eldest brother wrestling with your dad over the last couple pizza rolls, and your mom stuck in a standoff with the cat since it kept trying to eat the bills on the counter.

MK explained what happened and why Ronin and Nod were suddenly big now, but you weren't able to say anything before she was like “Ok bye! Take care!” And left them with you

You were SO going to get her back for this

Honestly, you were surprised that your family didn’t mind them showing up, but you also lived in a loft above the garage so that you had some privacy from the rest of your family.

After introducing Nod and Ronin as “some of MK’s friends”, you moved them up to your small “apartment”

Nod was already a hit with your youngest two brothers, showing off his sword skills by slicing fruit in the air as they tossed it at him

Ronin took a while to adjust

But slowly he started to talk to you and you two actually had the longest conversation you’ve ever had between the two of you

Ronin didn’t want to intrude or be a burden, so he picked up doing chores (your chores) around the apartment and house while also getting Nod to do your brothers chores

You told him it wasn’t necessary, they were your chores for a reason, but Ronin argued and said that this was thanks for letting the two of them stay

He’s already a big hit with your mom and dad, but they were at work and didn’t see much of him

You were washing dishes after everyone else left the house, either for school or work, when Ronin came in

He was wearing a white henley shirt with rolled up sleeves, something that SHOULDNT have looked that good on him, and immediately stopped to look at you from across the house

“Nope, uh uh,” he hip checked you out of the way and took the plate you were washing

“Hey!” You said

“Let me wash the dishes,” he didn’t even bother letting you argue, to him it was “his duty” to show appreciation by helping around the house

“Ronin,” you whined while trying to take the rag back from him, “c’mon, it’s literally my one chore.”

“You don’t have to do it, I got it,” he said

You huffed and groaned

“How about you wash them and I’ll dry and put them up?” You offer, hand on your hip

He looked at you and thought for a moment

The two of you worked in sync with each other in the small kitchen, you putting up the dishes as Ronin washed them

Occasionally, his hand would linger for a moment longer than usual while handing you the next dish, or you’d glance over to see him quickly looking away

Even when dressed so casually he looked so in charge and strong, it was so weird

It was weird in general to see him out of his armor but you digress

When the last dish was put up, you stretched and wiped down your slightly wet hands before turning to walk out

“Hey Y/n-“ you turned as Ronin reached out for you but hesitated

“Yeah, Ronin?” You raised a brow

He stopped and drew back his hand, brow furrowed in thought

“…thank you. For letting me and Nod stay here. Your family is…very kind.”

You snorted, “Yeah, well you havent seen ‘em on a bad day.”

Ronin chuckled a little at your joke and it made your cheeks turn pink

“But really,” he said, “I don’t know how else to thank you.”

“You don’t have to-“

“No, I do,” he added as you hopped to sit on the counter behind you. “I…I think we got off on the wrong foot, before.”

You blinked in surprise and looked away with a hint of shame, “Yeah, I—that day was a lot for me.”

He sighed, “It…was a lot for me too.”

You lowered your gaze, thinking about the woman who he had ran to as she died, the late queen, Tara

Ronin shook his head and snapped out of it, “Uh, well I-“ he stammered and rubbed the back of his neck, “I’m happy MK took us here. It’s been…nice, actually getting to know you.”

You told yourself you were imagining the blush on his face

“Really?” You smiled. “It’s been nice getting to know you too.”

Ronin smiled as you hopped down and opened up the fridge, taking out a gallon of iced sweet tea

“Come on!” You chirped as you passed him and grabbed two glasses, “It’s nice out.”

The two of you sat out in the backyard on the porch, chatting and drinking iced tea, laughing at stories, talking about anything and everything, enjoying the nice spring air late into the evening

When Nod eventually came back with MK after a trip around town, they found the two of you passed out on the porch swing, a thin blanket over the both of you

MK laughed but Ronin never looked so peaceful

Okay it took me a while to come up with this and it isnt immediately romantic but now Im like “…oh? Oh, ok, am I invested in this now???”

So if you like it I can DEFINITELY do more, it took everything in me to NOT just write an entire short fic for this one prompt, it ended up being so much cuter than I expected!!!!

Hope you like it! Its awesome having more people interact with the fandom!!

[notreallyuseless]

WEEK 4 OF READING MY HERO ACADEMIA EVERYDAY!!! (Vol 22-28)

First off, Juzo Honenuki is my favorite character of class 1-B. Idk why lol his design is weird but cool, his quirk is so powerful, he sounds like a very chill dude IDK!

And now... BLACKWHIP! LET'S GO! IT'S MY FAVORITE OFA QUIRK!!!!!!! AND I LOVE THE TROPE OF CHARACTERS LOSING CONTROL OF THEMSELVES/THEIR POWER!!! YEYEEEAAAAH

Aizawa training Shinso is something i wish we could have seen more of T_T Aizawa cares so much and Shinso is trying so hard to be worth his time and i'm just AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA (also you can pry my hc that PresentMic also trained Shinso from my cold dead hands <3)

And Izuku giving compliments on Shinso's fighting style and omg I just love this green bean haha

(Also, first Oboro's first appearance??? I think??? woah)

omg baby Shigaraki :(((( he looks so small

Dabi refusing to help with Gigantomachia just to spend more time with Hawks. I know what you are lol

Twice being concerned for Giran :((((( Calling him his friend :(((( damn... Twice you deserve the world

....Damn long haired Shigaraki is kinda..... haha and him killing a bunch of people during the mla fight. Just... wow Shigaraki. sorry i didnt realize sooner lol He's so cool his design is so cool he deserved better

Himiko killing a bunch of people using Ochaco's quirk is still so cool!!! Curious was like oh poor little girl it must be so hard to be you and Himiko was like "nah" haha

Oh...Oh Shigaraki's past... oh no. This is so gruesome!!! omg his mom reached out to him anyway i'm so DOOOOONE!!!! I FORGOT HOW BAD IT WAS. I always found it weird how the Doctor was able to bring back the hands from each family member but turns out his quirk was cutting people up, not dusting them at the time????

ANOTHER GREAT CLOSE UP OF TOMURA!!! IT'S SO WELL DRAWN!!! HE LOOKS SCARY

Wow the panel with a laughing Shigaraki surrounded by debris and dirt is SOOOO COOL haha

(I'm sorry, reading the holiday chapter while i'm less than a week away from halloween is kinda funny)

Shoto keeps riping into Endeavor. That's so funnnnyyyyyy

Natsuo, fashion icon with his Front/Back shirt haha

Oh i forgot the Aizawa/Yamada/Kurogiri talk would happen soon... ow... Aizawa saying the power of friendship won't do shit (funny) Aizawa looking sadly at Kurogiri remembering his friend (very not funny)

HOLY SHIT THE PANEL WHERE YOU CAN KIND OF SEE OBORO'S FACE WOAAAAH SO COOL AND CREEPY WOAH

Anyway... Hawks... i know what you're about to do... i know it.... i'm going to have to relive this.

(The manga is presenting everything good the Doctor Ujiko did and then they show the Sun Kindergarten(idk if thats the right name) and i'm just here suffering because thats where Touya ended up when he woke up from his coma... the pain!!!)

Mirko is so so cool <3 i couldnt wait to see her fight!!!!

Oh i loooove foreshadowing. There's a panel of a bunch of member of the plf that are runninf towards the main fight at Gunga and you can see Dabi slightly in the background going in another direction... oh... this is going to go baaaad

Under here is me having a breakdown vvv ;)

THERE IT GOES. SCARY HAWKS IS HERE. I FEEL SO BAD FOR TWICE HAWKS YOU'RE SUCH AN ASS I HATE YOU (you look so cool) YOU SAY YOU DIDNT WANT TO FIGHT TWICE BUT IDK WHAT TO THINK ANYMORE. WHY DO YOU LOOK SO SAD. FUUUUUUCK!!!! I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU

AND THEN ONE OF TWICE DOUBLE SAVES HIMIKO AND SHE TELLS HIM THANKS BUT LIKE THE DOUBLE'S MEMORIES DONT GO TO THE ORIGINAL SO TWICE DIED NOT KNOWING IF HIMIKO IS ALRIGHT AND IM JUST AAAAAAAAAAAA

^^^ breakdown finishes ;)

(to be honest I like Hawks story as a character too much to hate him fully but damn. I *hate* him for what he did to Twice.)

Tokoyami stays #1 in my heart anyway 🥰

OOOHHH the panel when Shigaraki wakes up from his coma to become stronger!!

Unconscious + injured Hawks are the best kind of Hawks 🥰

Omg Aizawa saying that there's no way he's letting his students down and you see all of class 1-A AND SHINSO 🥺🥺🥺 Aizawa the man that you are

_______

And that's it for this week!!! There was a lot of things i forgot about the Gunga fight! I don't even want to think about the Hawks/Twice moment!

[gottadothembts]

Stray Kids Minho x fem!reader

Word count : who know?

Summary : He always visited you, but not for YOU. But as one day passes by, something happens at home.

Genre : Fluff.

Minho and I have been friends since........ forever.

It was back when I was just 3 years old when I had shifted to Korea to live there. I was walking down the street with my mom until I heard a distant ‘meow’. I was excited about hearing the sound of a cat, since I was still consumed in my child curiosity. I dragged my mom towards it to find an injured cat lying near a dustbin. Its coat was dirty and small patches of blood showed that it went in a fight.

My young self found it heartbreaking and I begged my mom to take care of it. Of course my mom disagreed to take it back home, but we took care of it from where it was lying down. My mom and I had rushed to get a first aid kit and some cat food and when we returned, the cat seemed to be sleeping. Taking that as an advantage, we patched the cat up and when it woke up, we gave it some food. After a while we found out that it was a girl.

The cat got attached to us really fast, and it seemed to win both my mother’s and my heart. We must have stayed there till late afternoon, but we didn’t care. I and mom were in the middle of playing with the cat when a voice came in,

“Hwan....?”

I looked around to see a boy of my age who looked shocked. He ignored us and rushed towards the cat. As he ran, the cat also went towards him, like it was natural. My young self got jealous at this action,

“Hey! Thats my kitty!”.

The boy didn’t even listen to me as he examined the cat. He looked up at me after a whole minute.

“Who are you?”, he asked.

“I’m Y/N. And thats my kitty”, I said as I approached the cat.

The boy stepped back with the cat in his hands,

“Sorry, but she is mine. She likes roaming outside so I let her out in the early mornings. I didn’t know that she got injured, thank you for taking care of her. Im really thankful”, the boy said as he looked down shyly.

I frowned at him, “Who are you?”.

“Lee Minho. The cat’s name is Hwan”, he replied.

“What does Hwan mean?”, I asked curiously.

“Shining and bright”.

.......And that was how Minho became my best friend.

19 years later, he was a butt. Not like he wasn’t throughout the years. It was just that he had the audacity to come to my home without permission, and he didn’t even come for ME. The day after meeting him, mom and I had decided to take in a few other street cats to help them. This made Minho visit us almost every day. Of course we got close, but it was his adoration for my cats that he kept coming back. But it started becoming lonely after he went to practice for his dance and got recruited as a backup dancer for BTS. Not later, he got to go in a group called Stray Kids.

It got empty because of him, but he tried to visit his hometown as much as he could. And when that happened, he would bring his three cats to my house to play with MY cats. He would always be mesmerised by them, and would barely put his attention on me.

Right now was one of the moments that he had come to my house.

A knock had come from my door. I went to open it and found a familiar face. It was Minho, with Soonie, Doongie and Dori trailing behind him.

“Where are my little kitties?”, He said with excitement as he rubbed his hands and entered my house.

I looked at him bewildered, since still after so many years, I never got used to his sudden appearance. What shocked me more was that I hadn’t even seen him for the past year. And now he came barging into my home without saying anything.

What a butt...

“How was...... Australia?”, I asked softly.

“It was fun. We had successful concerts and met a lot of fans. Chan and Felix led us around showing some of the places they knew and even met their families. Yeah, it was..... fun”, he stumbled slightly as the cats piled up on him.

I couldn’t help but chuckle at his struggling figure as 7 cats kept climbing on him. I went in to help and brought down some cats. None cooperated with me except for Doongie. Doongie was like the moody middle child, and I was the favourite aunt. We fit together perfectly and Minho was jealous every time he saw us together.

“Give me back my Doongie”, he said as he still continued to struggle with the cats.

“Lol, no”, I answered easily as I picked up Doongie and went to the kitchen to bring some cat food.

We heard the intense meowing from the cats as they fought over Minho while me and Doongie were chilling in the kitchen to get some food. When I finally brought out the food, the cats left Minho and came to eat the food. While they ate, Minho came and sat beside me and rested his head on my shoulder. It would have been awkward, if we weren’t best friends. But sadly we were very close. At this point I knew everything about him, and that was why I never complained about him. It was his way of loving me that he showed love to my pets.

“How have you been?”, Minho asked as he took a video of the cats from his phone.

“Ugh, fine. Just studying and studying and studying. Other then that, I miss you”, I slowly whispered.

“Its good to know that I’m not the only one who misses you. Like I miss the cats AND YOU. Like.... why?”, he whined.

I laughed at him, “It happens when you have a heart”.

He gave me a glare, a glare that I got immune to throughout the years. “I have such a big heart. Touch me”.

He lifted my hand and put it on his chest. What all I got was muscles and I couldn’t help but burst out laughing.

“Stop flexing your muscles, Lee Minho”.

He joined me laughing and then looked at me, “You look different. Why?”

“Perhaps because you haven’t seen me for a year. You know, people change in a year”, I replied as I looked back at him.

“And not like you haven’t changed too. Like look at that jawline, man. And that flawless skin. Lemme touch it”, I continued as I brought my hands to his face and squished them.

His skin was soft under my finger and I couldn’t help but give his cheeks a kiss. I saw a blush appear on his face and I laughed at him. He blushed harder when he realised that he was blushing. Minho brought his hands to my wrists and pulled them away. He glared at me and rubbed his numb cheeks.

“Oh cmon, you’re so cute”, I cooed at him.

“No. You are cuter”, he countered back as he pinched my cheeks.

“Thats right, you ugly”, I laughed and looked at him.

“.....Why are you becoming like me?”

“You’re contagious, my dude”, I said as I started playing with his hair.

Minho scoffed under his breath but leaned into my touch. I braided his hair, then removed it, then braided it, then removed it. He like it since I was also massaging his head.

“Would you like coming to the tour with me?”, Minho suddenly proposed out of the blue.

I stopped braiding and looked at him,

“Nah, I don’t think I can”

“But I want to be with you”

“Who will take care of the cats?”

“Mom”

“I’ll be a nuisance to you”

“But im tired of not living with you”

“What do you mean?”

“I like you, ya’ moron”.

Wha......?

Did he just- Did he just confess?

“It what way?”, I asked suddenly.

“In that way that I wanna cuddle with you”, he replied back with no hesitation.

It was so sudden. Something so out of the blue naturally shocked me. I never even dreamed that he liked me back. Yes, I said ‘back’. It wasn’t easy to keep my feeling for so many years. There was so much tension that I brought in our past years, but it never came to my head that he could also be the one who could bring up the tension. Having a crush on Lee Minho was tough. He was famous amongst the girls, though he was oblivious, but what made it more tough was that now he was a worldwide famous idol. I couldn’t help but suppress those feeling but rather put the feeling of pure friendship in front of us. As the years went, I got used to it and never thought of it much.

But this time, today, now, I felt like the helpless teenager in love. The feelings that I kept buried down overflowed my heart and I couldn’t help but caress his face. My eyes were filled with love and my body was relaxed.

“Isn’t it funny how I like you back too?”, I said under my breath as I leaned in.

“It is. Completely unexpected”, he replied as he leaned in too.

“Are you being sarcastic?”

“No, not this time”.

So that was how that 7 cats saw us flirting with each other for the rest of the day.

Lol, I had a boyfriend now.

[poedameronloverx]

Who’s Looking After You?

Life in Lockdown - Masterlist

Poe Dameron x F Solo Reader

Hey everyone! Hope you’ve all had a lovely week. Here is the next part of my series. 

Big mentions of covid again this week so if that’s going to upset you then I full understand if you want to give this a miss. Also mentions of anxiety.

But we also have more of reader bonding with BeeBee and a nice wee heart to heart between her and Poe. And then there’s Finn asking the questions we all want the answer to!

Month 3 – May 2020

Rose's illness came and went without too much drama. Her symptoms suggested COVID but she hadn't been as ill with it as a lot of other people had. Poe had a few symptoms too, they started off pretty mild. He decided to stay in the house just incase so you had taken over BeeBee's walks. The little dog was confused at first, wondering why his best friend wasn't walking him but he soon got used to it and was happy to be out with you. You and Rose were taking turns to look after Poe. Finn was still keeping out of the way due to his work, so the two of you were working around one another and your work schedules to check on how Poe was feeling. After a few days he started to feel worse, his throat was sore and he had no energy. You made him soup and checked in to make sure he was looking after himself.

“Sweetheart, you're going to get sick” he protested as you moved his pillows around to help him get comfortable.

“I'm not worried about me, I'm worried about you!” you replied “And I'm going to continue to worry about you and take care of you until you're back to your normal self!” 

You fussed around him some more, making sure he had everything he needed before you had to head back to your desk for a zoom meeting.

“So, when are we going to talk about it?” Finn asked, a few nights later as you sat down to dinner with him and Rose.

“Talk about what?” you asked

“This sexual tension between you and Poe”

“Excuse me?”

“Oh come on! You can't pretend, it's so obvious that you like him and it's obvious that he likes you so once he's better you should do something about it!”

“Wait, did he say something?” Rose asked “Because you didn't tell me he liked her back!”

“Hold on!” you butted in “You told Finn?”

“I'm sorry! I know I should've kept my mouth shut but it's Finn and he promised me he wouldn't tell Poe!”

“And I didn't!” Finn replied “But I just think you two deserve to be happy and being together would obviously make both of you happy!”

“You guys need to stop getting involved. Poe doesn't like me in that way and that's totally fine. He's my friend and I don't want to lose that if you guys make this awkward so please stop!”

“We won't make it awkward” Rose replied “We won't say another thing”

You couldn't sleep that night, everything Finn had said was going round on loop in your head. BeeBee slept soundly at the foot of the bed, he'd taken to sleeping in your room most nights. You climbed out of bed and looked out the window. The rain was falling onto the peaceful street. It had been raining for a few hours and puddles had already formed everywhere. You decided to head downstairs to get a glass of water, the lack of sleep was beginning to annoy you. When you walked into the living room, you were startled to see a figure sat on the couch.

“Poe? What are you doing up?”

“Couldn't sleep” he replied “I'm feeling a lot better so I figured there was no harm in having a little wander round the house since everyone was in bed!”

“As long as you’re alright” you replied

“I am, wanna sit with me for a while? You’ve been taking care of me so you’ve probably passed any risk of catching this”

“Yeah, may as well since I’m wide awake”

You could feel him staring at you, he hadn't put the lights on in the living room. Only the small lamp in the dining room was giving any light.

“Tell me honestly, are you doing okay? You had all the stress with your dad being ill, then you looked after Rose and now you’re looking after me. Who’s looking after you sweetheart”

“Honestly Poe, I’m fine. Keeping busy keeps my mind off of not being able to see my family. I like looking after you guys. I enjoy walking Bee, I like making the soups you’ve taught me and when I’m not working I like cooking dinner for us all”

“You’re too good to us. Even just letting Finn and I move in and completely throw your life into even more chaos by taking over your home”

You glanced at him and smiled.

“I like having you here” you replied “It’s good to have a group to hang out with. Rose and I would bicker about stupid stuff when we just spent weekends together. We would’ve been a nightmare alone for all these weeks. I like being able to spend time with her but then have the option to walk away from her and hang out with you. I’m not going to lie and say these past few weeks have been easy and amazing because they haven’t, they’ve sucked. Not knowing if my dad was going to be alright or not whilst not being able to see my mum was torture. Then Rose getting ill and now you, I feel like I’ve constantly been worried and my anxiety has been terrible but I really am alright”

“Can we make a deal then?” Poe asked

“What kind of deal?”

“Well I’m worried about you and how much you’ve taken on, so how about once a week you have an evening to yourself? Run a bath, or just have a lie down. Whatever you want. It would just make me feel better to know that you were taking a break!”

“Alright, deal” you replied “Now tell me what else is on that mind of yours?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well Poe Dameron, I can basically see the cogs turning under that beautiful hair of yours. So tell me what's on your mind”

He sighed “My work is struggling. The pandemic has hit us hard and they don't know if we'll be able to keep going. I might lose my job”

“Oh Poe, I'm so sorry. Is that why they stopped you guys working from home?”

“Yeah, there wasn't enough work for us so they told us not to bother. We're still going to get paid for now but I really don't know how long that's going to last for”

“I'm sure something else will come up” you replied “And if not, you know we're all here for you. You'll never find yourself out on the street”

“Thank you sweetheart, that really means the world to me!”

A few days later, you were getting ready to take BeeBee his walk. You’d been working that morning, once you’d finished you had time to make a pot of soup for lunch, re-organise the living room and dust every surface in the room. BeeBee was very set in his ways and always knew when it was walk time. He wouldn’t let anyone forget it either, his usual tactic was slowly wandering over to where you were and nudging your ankle with his nose. You were just putting your coat on when Poe walked into the room.

“I’m feeling much better and I’m going stir crazy in this house. Fancy some company?”

“I dunno, what do you think BeeBee, should we let your dad tag along? He might cramp our style!”

The Corgi wagged his tail with excitement when he saw his best friend was ready to take him out for the first time in over a week. BeeBee had always enjoyed the attention you gave him whenever you went to see Poe and Finn, or if they’d brought him over, but living together had meant you and the little dog had bonded a lot more, especially when you had to walk him. He was spending a lot of time with you rather than Poe.

“I think he’s alright with it” you chuckled

“I think he’s replacing me” Poe pouted “You’re now his favourite person in the world”

“I mean, can you blame him? I’m awesome!”

“That’s true! But don’t let your head get too big or you won’t fit out the front door!”

Rose wandered into the room, she smiled when she saw Poe putting his coat on.

“You’re feeling better! That’s great”

“Much better. And I absolutely cannot wait to go outside”

“Enjoy the fresh air! But remember if it’s too much, you need to rest”

“I will Rose, thanks. I’m sure Y/N will take care of me and make sure I’m not over doing it”

“Damn right I will”

The walk was nice, you took it at a slow pace so Poe wouldn’t get tired too quickly. BeeBee seemed to have an extra spring in his step now that his dad was back walking him. You did a lap round the park before Poe said he was tired. You found a bench and let him sit down whilst you threw a ball for BeeBee. When the dog got bored of the game you sat down next to Poe.

“You doing okay?”

“I’m fine sweetheart, thanks”

“Do you fancy a coffee or anything?”

“Nah, just your company is enough for me”

You ducked your head, hoping he wouldn’t see your embarassment. You smiled as BeeBee ran around chasing after a bird that just wanted to sit on the grass. May had been an extremely difficult month with Rose and Poe both being ill, Poe’s job being at risk and not being able to go and help your mum look after your dad. 6 weeks of being in lockdown had been hard, your anxiety was flaring worse than ever and some days felt more of a struggle than others. You were glad to be with your friends and BeeBee. Facetime had been a lifeline to keep in touch with your parents, your brother and sister in law and your two nephews. You just hoped it wouldn’t be too long until you could see them in person.

So thats us for this week. I hope if you read it you enjoy it and as always your comments and suggestions would mean the world to me. I’m kinda lagging behind with where I wanted to be with this series in terms of how many chapters ahead I had written so if you guys have any suggestions of things you’d like me to write in this then please do let me know <3

[candyrumm]

Trollhunters Rise of the Titans…

I loved the Gun Robot vs Volcano Titan scene. Many other things too but were here to question and criticize it - especially the ending.

Alrighty I’ll try to paraphrase ( ha not) my opinion and points - a few are ones that i read and overall agreed upon other I haven’t yet seen other people mention. 

So what now? Does he still have the stone? If he went back in time to reset everything wouldn’t that reset the time stone to where it was before?

Disappointed that the canon made the canon an AU. Like everything we knew is gone. Its the ‘it was all a dream’ dream turned reality approach. 

Wa ca cha ka im happy it wasn’t an interactive movie, cause i like to have a definite answer or know exactly what happened rather what could have been. Its also easy to lie back and watch the movie unfold. Batman: Death in the Family, is interactive movie where you see many possible ways things could have happened. However the non-interactive version of the film is just a narrated version of Under the Red Hood by Bruce. And you don’t get the possible events that would have happen cause its really a ‘what if’ movie. However i feel like that many possibilities of what could have happen was what they may have been going for. But i like to imagine that the story could have also ended with Toby’s death and no time traveling. But also with the new reality, could they have at least shown us a flash forward perhaps of what the world came to be? Like an older jim telling his nephews about how he lived the future where he is the trollhunter or at least something. Can the truth set him free??? 

What if Jim dies and Toby tries to start it all over to save him?

I luv Draal, he was probably my favorite character from the start. But even I let him go. He was willing to die for the cause. It was great knowing him. And the death was like… wholesome?  I cant find the right word but like it didn’t feel rushed or careless when he died. I wished he hadn’t but … was at peace with it? When Nomora died, yeah i was like ‘wat nooo’ but we were gonna lose characters along the way. They are fighting a war. 

And honestly a nice lesson could have been to learn to let go and not regret and to not dwell on the past. To move forward into your future, not redo the whole damn thing again. And even if he did have to go back in time, did it really have to be all the way back? 

Did Toby really have to be trollhunter? Like did the amulet make a mistake in the first place for choosing jim? 

Or was it like it knew jim would go back and let Toby his best friend be trollhunters and with jim the mostly all knowing would then be able to set things right in a way that not many die? 

Can it remember things? 

What if he reseted things and now while he gets a good life someone else doesn’t???? 

Was jim tired of being trollhunter and figured though he has like years of experience on what is like to be trollhunter decided that, that grueling experience is what his best friend would want. In the beginning of the show Toby was like nah, I’m not looking for adventure. Later on Toby asked Jim whether or not the amulet gave him the excitement he was looking for.  Jim reply no it was toby. MaYbE this is what he was going for? If thats the case could he have not just have had a kid? Or some career change? Did he think he couldn’t have a good life without toby? He left him in Arcadia at the end of trollhunters. He could have made some sorta memorial for Toby (edit: oh and maybe the god/desses like the ones who fell in the park) and saying that it was because of him that he got to make the striking blow on the last deity who wanted to rebirth earth.

Wasn’t there a lesson when toby was saying how its ok that his parents died and that he likes to think that they are the reason so many good things in his life happen? Guess jim doesn’t want to apply that same mindset that Toby had to Toby.

The trollhunter seemed to be marked as the leader (in the beginning.) So wouldn’t it be easier for jim to be leader since he knows what will happened. (edit: Will many even believe him about how he time traveled.) And then be able to guide others. Like where the Bridge is. He can be there sooner. Or is he planning to go under the radar since how the spotlight isn’t on him?

(The following is mostly copy and pasted from a commented repost of mine. I still wrote it, just copied it from where i had originally posted it to and added a few tweaks and points.)

Is jim even the sorta person that would let his best friend go through what he did? Dying at one point. Risking the safety of loved ones? Running and climbing extensively? Toby doesn’t have the chef skills Jim did, is there ever a fight for when they enter trollmarket? Does he now know trollish and could impress Vendal on how he knows to much? Would he confess that he went through and a timeline (his original timeline?) where he was the trollhunter and therefore is skilled in many aspects of trollhunting?

They didn’t find it together, sure Jim may be there to guide and advice Toby and the others but the thing the two of them had going on was that they found it together, they were in this(that) together. Now its not that. 

Plus, sure maybe Jim matured so now he’s willing to bring people in for help and support and such. Unlike he was in the beginning where tried to protect everyone by not having them involved or really you know in the field. For example, when he tried to keep his mother from the whole dealio, or when he went into the darklands alone. Later I think he did say that he’s not stupid enough to go at it alone and that they are stronger together. But ughhhh Jim and Toby now aren’t together at the start.

And we didn’t really get closure for the Tales of Arcadia franchise thing. The end is more like an alternate beginning. In my opinion. But Guillermo del Toro, ‘creator’ of the franchise - i think - tweeted how the ROTT movie would be the final chapter/ending of tales of aracdia. Ughhh was that what he was going for? To end it and everyone’s pedestal for it?

(stops here)

I could just pretend they didn’t travel back in time. As far as im aware - all the merchandise is for the previous canon. Most of the merch was for trollhunters and not 3below or wizards. And since trollhunters is my favorite out of the three, im ok with that. Wizards sit at #2 for me. Though i luv Queenie Aja in the movie.

Am I missing anything? I dunno. My thoughts are a mess.

edit: IT WAS BASICALLY AN EFFING REBOOT, not earth rebirth but canon rebirth. 

Well its canon to have the canon not be directly canon. And not canon but it’s still canon. Confusion…

Like does dreamworks not know how a population of people automatically feel about reboots and remakes WA CA CHA KA there was no heal time. no time to let the fairy dust of our beloved story settle, marinate under the rug, nope. Reboot will began in 3, 2, 1...

Not trying to hate on the movie or creators (hoping u didn't read the whole thing with a negative tone heh heh) i just wanted to express some thoughts I had on the movie. Didn’t hate the movie and the entirely of the choices made during its production obviously, just questioning what could’ve happen after or what could have been.

[vvaane]

Evon

Hi, i’m Evon. Yea that’s the best way to start writing about a god damn serial killer, a proxy or whatever you guys call us. It’s late at night and you might be wondering why someone like me would write a book, dont i have people to kill? Cops to run from? Watch my back maybe? Nah man i used to do that before... that happened. Do you ever contemplate about your life? You know things like: what if i didn’t do that? what if i stayed silent? what if what i said once changed the whole story? Yea i know, a lot of what ifs. What can i say, i like to think. I may be a monster who kills like killing machine but i still have 'me' time.

I think i’m just rambeling now but yea another thing about me is that i like to talk, maybe too much sometimes. I wasn’t always like this though, as a child i was very quite and kinda depressed. Childhood isn’t my best memory to be honest, all i remember is wasting it on suffering and building up rage, until of course, i snaped.

Usually if someone asks me about that time of my life, i kill them without hesitation but in this case no one asked me so here we fucking go. Appriciate this because i’m not gonna talk about my shity life ever again. I was born on a beautiful day of summer, 4th of july 2000. I don’t have memories of my family, the only thing i know is that my mom commited suicide because of postbirth depression and dear old dad didn’t even bother to raise me or to even be in my life, good i killed him. Anyways, i spend my childhood at a church, raised in the name of this so called god, yea that place as holy as it sounds like, it wasn’t. Everyone feared the priest. What can i say, he was the best, always beating and torturing us many times even if we didn’t do anything wrong, my best and only friend was killed by this motherfucker. I myself got in trouble many times just because i 'wasn’t a man'. I don’t know how are you supposed to be a man at 13 years old but sure. You got 3 chances to 'go on gods way' if u didn’t make it you were send to a room that looked like an old basement of a castle. The room was dark and the only light you were seeing was from a little window, the door was big and scary honestly, when you first come into the room you would see a big statue of that bitch Mary. There the priest would give you 3 options: beat you, tie you in chains and not feed you for a week or put you in isolation for up to half a year. That guy was crazy and i’m pretty sure he hated children. Every kid would choose to be beaten because it lasted a short period of time compared to the other options. I was a maniac since i was little so i tried everything, being beaten till i was unconscious which isn’t that bad compared to the other things, i was beaten with everything you can imagine, chains, belts etc. I still have scars all over my body from that. Many kids weren’t strong enough and died. Their bodys were thrown in a room and from there they would be put then in the crematorium like they were nothing. Next i was tied and not fed, let me tell you, you get so hungry at one point you would even eat youself and i have seen one kid bite into his own arm somehow. Now the last and worst, isolation.I’ve been in isolation for maximum 2 months, i was put in a diferent room, this one had no windows so no light would come in, i felt like i was in a box, i had no bed, no nothing, i would eat once every 2 days half a bread. Many kids who went there didn’t come back. My friend was always send there even if he didn’t choose that. Dear Mike died when he was 15, i was 14 at the time.

Anyway, believe it or not that prepared me for what was next to happen. How do u think i survived the proxy training? That shit is hard but i will get there in a minute. After my friends death i felt like i wasn’t myself, i felt like some other me was taking control over my mind and body. When the priest found out about this change in my behavior he said i was possesd my some kind of demon and he performed this so called exorcisms on me that consisted in bathing me in holy water, tyeing me to the bed and saying many prayers. Useless. It wasn’t any of that. I actually had a second personality, a manifestation of my darkest and deepest thoughts and ideas. It was really hard for me to get used to this other me, over the time i even gave him a name: Devon. He became my best friend, he was the the only one who understood me. I faked being a normal kid so that the priest won’t try to take Devon away from me. I didn’t take any meds so day by day he was stonger and stronger, over the years we did many things, we destroyed a lot, first it started slow with plates and glasses but then i started to kill some animals around the church and the fact that i enjoyed it scared me at first. After i started doing this things i always felt watched, usually i was dizzy and sometimes i started to hear whispers even if i was alone in a room.

Years went by fast if i think about it, like if they were nothing, winters were the hardest because it was always cold and with all the tortureing sure it wasn’t the best thing. I was 18 when that event happned, i still remember every detail. It was summer, the weather was really hot, i was in my room when Devon took control out of nowhere, he wanted me to escape, to be free, to take revenge for every single thing they've done to me. He was right, i had to do something to get out and i wasn’t only gonna do that, i had to kill the priest and burn this place down. That church was what you guys call hell. If it’s hell then it has to burn. All day i wondered through every room in search of gasoline and matches, eventually at exactly 7:45pm i found what i needed, i stared at the objects like they were my saviours. Devon took control again and everything started, i poured the gasoline on every hallway of the church until the priest saw me, he wanted to hit me but i managed to fight him for a while, he was stronger than me so i ran away with the gasoline, i took a hatchet just to know i have something to defend myself with. I lit the match and threw it, i enjoyed the view of this place burning, i felt like i was able to dream again, i felt free and i didnt care who was still in there, the only thing that mattered was the fact that i got revenge and that im finally free. The view was ruined by the priest who was running in the woods. Of course i chased him with the hatchet until i lost him for a minute but then i heard a scream so i went in that direction. the adrenaline was overwheliming, i felt so powerful like i could do anything. After running for like a good 10 minutes i saw the priest dead with his killer getting off of him. The anger i felt in that moment is unimaginable, he stole my victim, the only person i wanted to kill with my hands, he took that away from me. I started running towards him with my hatchet. He stayed still like he didnt care, as i got closer to him i saw that he had the same weapon as me. I stopped and he smiled at me:

-You remind me of myself when i was little.

-I don’t fucking care what i remind you of, you just killed my victim!

-I’m Toby, Ticci Toby, nice to meet you...

- Evon, i said hesitantlly. Why are u doing this?Being nice.

-Thats a rule i have to follow, don’t kill or be rude to other killers.

Thats what changed everything, right after that i saw this faceless man behind Toby, he wasnt scared at all. This creature began speaking to me somehow.

-Child, i can give you a new home and i can let you be who you are, you don’t have to be afraid!

I didn’t have a place to go to so i accepted, i didnt know the training was gonna be so hard and long though. First i had to fight every proxy and that Masky guy left a scar on my face that went over my eye and my eye changed colour, from brown it went bloody red. Then i had to learn how to kill, how to survive, how to run from cops, it was hard for me but Toby helped me a lot. We got close and he took me with him every time Slends would give him a job. He was the youngest before i came in the picture. He told me his story, i told him mine. I had a friend after a long god damn time.

Now i’m 21 and i’m one of the best proxys Slender ever had. Toby is still the best of the best and to be honest he deserves the title. That’s my story. Now that you know it you should be prepared because i might come for u next.

[rogueninja]

gonna type up my thoughts on mando season 2 and the finale for anyone who’s interested and so I can process it....... (this is gonna be mostly negative thoughts sooo... thats your warning haha)

the mandalorian season 1 is something that brought me an immense amount of joy a year ago. i’ve always “liked” star wars but i’ve never really “loved” star wars, but I loved the mandalorian.... something about it. the small, western vibe, the mysterious main character with sexy armor, dad vibes, and a heart of gold. THE BABY YODA. the mandoLORE. the fact that it was completely its own little thing without having to be majorly connected to the massive star wars universe that we’re used to. and for sure it was a little clunky at times, but i loved it so much that i overlooked those things easily and even found it to be endearing.

i loved that it was created by people who knew star wars, had a passion for it, and a story they wanted to tell. they weren’t expecting to make a ton of money off it... like obviously it’s star wars, but i don’t think anyone truly predicted how majorly baby yoda would blow up or how popular the show would be with star wars fans. but of course.... then it did. and i hate to be that person but i think that’s when it all started to go downhill. like as soon as something becomes more about money and popularity than the story you’re actually trying to tell, you’ve already lost.

i won’t lie that just leading up to the mandalorian season 2, a lot of my excitement had fizzled out, but this was mainly due to the fact that other things have caught my attention in the meantime... but i was fully prepared to embrace the mando brainworms again. and like. the episodes were good! they were fine. i got enjoyment out of them. but something honestly felt.... missing? and it wasn’t until chapter 15 that i realized what that was.

season 2 is barely about din. it’s about... whatever else. boba fett. bo katan. ahsoka. luke skywalker. and these characters are fine on their own! and like... i honestly expected boba fett and other mandos to show up at some point (and i enjoyed boba’s time on the show, plus it makes the most sense for him to be there). but..... every episode became that thing that i hate that star wars and every other stupid reboot of every franchise does where they’re like. LOOK! look at this thing!!! u know this thing! well WE know this thing too!! and HERE IT IS!!! and it honestly upset me because YES there were a ton of star wars references in s1 but it was tasteful, yanno? it was more like easter eggs that the really dedicated star wars fans could appreciate and everyone else who didn’t get them weren’t really missing anything important and could still enjoy the show. but apparently now you also need to be familiar with hundreds of star wars tv show episodes so you can understand ahsoka and bo katan and it’s just ??? literally what is this even about anymore because it doesn’t seem to be about a mandalorian and his adoptive son. (dont get me wrong im fine with it referencing other star wars shows but i didn’t like the way it centered on these characters the majority of the time)

and then chapter 15 happened. you’ll notice that chapter 15 had no references to external star wars media (aside from boba fett, who was barely there), and was about din. it was about din and how far he would go to protect the child. doing the one thing they’d been building up to for almost two seasons by removing his helmet in order to accomplish this. it was awesome and i loved that episode so much and it really hit me during that episode how much i missed the show being about that. so yanno, i had high hopes for the finale....

which WAS... yanno..... fine.... like honestly i was having a good time there for a while. I liked seeing din go up against gideon... the buildup with the darksaber and the spear..... his only priority being the baby.... like, even seeing luke fight the bad guys i was like oh! ok neat i’m not against meeting luke right now and obviously he won’t run away with the baby because how would that make sense? there’s still definitely gonna be at least one more season and it would be insane for din to give up the baby and heck, we KNOW how luke’s jedi school went, after all  🤡...    🤡 🤡 ....🤡 🤡 🤡

so uh yeah. we get bad CGI luke (this is a whole other rant but like.... can we stop CGIing actors like just get a lookalike i am happy to suspend my disbelief save ur fx budget i promise it will suck no matter what). and we get.... we get a moment that i know others have already talked to death about but like.... din taking off his helmet in front of the entire room.... means what exactly?? he’s not a mandalorian anymore? he’s just gonna forsake his creed? that’s what we’re leading up to?? and it makes you realize that the helmet buildup they were going for this entire show really was that surface level. to the writers it was just about “yeah lets get din to tear down his walls! he loves his son so he’ll remove his metaphorical mask!!!” and not taking into account like. how they could have set that up so he wasn’t just straight up forsaking his creed....That should have been a private moment. Mandalorians are about family, and they could easily have made it about that. Grogu is his family. Din is accepting that at last. but.... nah

And then yeah he just yeets baby yoda off to luke skywalker who just like.... have i mentioned i really liked that this show wasn’t about the skywalkers..... it was a nice streak we had goin.... like if he had just come and gone without taking the literal lifeblood of the show I honestly would have been fine with it but.. nahhhh

and of course seven minutes left at that point had me hoping they would show din changing his mind but nope LOL they just were gonna tease the next star wars show..... and like last week when they announced like ten different star wars shows everything really clicked into place for me. like, oh, so that’s why this season felt more like an ad than a show about the mandalorian. we don’t even know if there will be a season 3 and honestly like... even if they do how would they go from here.... like without grogu what even is this show. either he’s totally gone which would be a huge mistake for obvious reasons, or they have to contrive some reason for din to get him back from luke, which will feel cheap. the only other option is... the show is over lol. neat. i guess they could make it about din becoming the mandalaore but uhh... pass.

overall just like. i was pretty disappointed with this season overall and for a while i thought I was just being grumpy until the last 2 episodes made me understand exactly why i haven’t gotten the same enjoyment i used to. FEELSBADMAN!!

[abrakophile]

I was looking through a bunch of junk and found some letters from my dad when he was in the army. I’m afraid I'll accidently toss them, so maybe I’ll put them here?

OPs Name JUNE 02 03

I LOVE YOU

THIS IS MY NAME IN KURDISH

*my dad wrote his first and last name, and under it, in Kurdish*

ILL TRY AND FIND OUT HOW TO WRITE YOUR NAME AND MOMS TOO.

ITS STILL HOT. I WORK AND READ BOOKS TO PASS THE TIME AWAY.

HOW ARE YOU DOING? GOOD I HOPE. WHAT DO YOU DO FOR FUN? DO YOU EVER HANG OUT WITH YOUR FRIENDS? TELL THEM I SAID “WASSUP?” NAH, DONT TELL THEM. TELL ME WHAT YOUR THINKING. I’M TRYING TO SEND YOU SOME MORE OF MY DRAWINGS. WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DRAW YOU? DID YOU LIKE THE DRAWING I SENT YOU OF YOU NAME? ITS ALRIGHT IF YOU DIDNY. JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU DO WANT ME TO DRAW YOU.

(Flip Page)

THIS IS WEIRD! (The page does not have lines on the left side of it) i WONDER WHAT HAPPENED TO THIS PIECE OF PAPER. HaHa

I MISS YOU ALOT. PLEASE SOND ME SOME MORE OF YOUR DRAWINGS, YOU CAN DRAW ME ANYTHING YOU WANT TO.

ARE YOU BEING GOOD FOR YOUR MOM? ITS NICE IF YOU HELP HER OUT WHILE I’M AWAY.

HAVE YOU BEEN ANYPLACE NEW? HOW IS SCHOOL GOING FOR YOU? IS MOMMY GOING TO SCHOOL? I KNOW I WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL WHEN I GET BACK. HOPEFULLY I GET THE CHANCE TO LEARN EVERYTHING THAT THERE IS TO KNOW. THAT WOULD BE GREAT.

ALSO, ID LIKE TO DO SOME FISHING? HOW ABOUT YOU? I GUESS ILL END HERE. BE GOOD AND STAY IN SCHOOL. AND JUST SAY NO TO DRUGS.

THEYRE BAD.

I LIVE YOU OP

*hearts and x’s* DADDY

---

(I don’t know if all these pages are in order or if it’s missing any, but this was the letter in the same stack as the last but this one was for my mom. In some places his indents indicate passage of time.)

I HAVENT HAD ANY TIME TO WRITE SINCE WEVE BEEN ON THE ROAD, NOT TO MENTION THAT WE CAN’T SEND MAIL WHEN WE’RE MOVING ALL THE TIME.

WEVE BEEN ON THE ROAD FOR ABOUT FIVE OR SIX DAYS, I HAVENT REALLY BEEN COUNTING. I KNOW I TOLD YOU THAT WE’D BE IN KUWAIT FOR A WHILE, BUT THAT WAS SO YOU WOULDNT BE WORRIED. I’M GOING TO KEEP THIS LETTER THOUGH, TILL I GET HOME.

ABOUT TWO NIGHTS AGO, WE DROVE THROUGH BAGDHAD, SOMEBODY SAID THAT THERE WERE PILED BODIES, I DONT KNOW IF IT WAS TRUE.

AND I GUESS YESTERDAY, A COUPLE OF PEOPLE SAID THEY SAW A MISSILE OR SOEMTHING SHOT AT US. I WAS TRYING TO FIX A TRUCK SO I DIDNT SEE IT.

ITS NOT AS DUSTY HERE IN IRAQ. IT REMINDS ME OF THE CONVOYS IN KOREA.

MOST OF THE PEOPLE WILL WAVE “HI”. SOME OTHERS DONT.

I SAW A KID OPEN HIS HAND ONCE WHILE MOVING, AND IT SAID “BUSH” THAT WAS KIND OF COOL.

OH YEAH. HERES A STORY. WHILE OUT DOING A MISSION, ONE OF OUR “BRADLEY” TANKS FIRED ON AN ENEMY AMMO TRUCK AND CLIPPED A KID. THE ROUNDS BLEW ONE OF HIS LEGS OFF AND SOME OF THE OTHER, FROM THE KNEE DOWN. SO THE MEDICS PICKED HIM UP AND BROUGHT HIM TO OUR RECONCOLIDATING POINT FOR MEDICAL TREATMENT. I GUESS HE EVENTUALLY DIED FROM LOSS OF BLOOD THE NEXT NIGHT AND YESTERDAY THEY TOOK HIM OUT AND BURIED HIM.

ALSO WE PICKED UP ABOUT 25-30 P.O.W.s AND SENT THEM SOUTH.

IT GETS PRETTY COLD AT NIGHT. AND THE DAY’S ARE VERY HOT.

SINCE WE LEFT KUWAIT ITS BEEN ME AND MENDOZA IN THE FIVE TON WRECKER AND I HAVE TO ADMIT THAT ITS BEEN EXCITING. WE KEPT GETTING SEPERATED FROM THE CONVOY AND BREAKING DOWN. BUT I THINK THAT WERE BETTER NOW. HOPEFULLY.

IM STILL WAITING TO BE AMBUSHED TO MAKE ALL THIS SEEM REAL TO ME. A PART OF ME WANTS IT AND ANOTHER DOESNT.

AND IT SEEMS LIKE ONLY OUR UNIT HAS TO STAY IN UNIFORM, EVERYONE ELSE WEARS T-SHIRTS AND BANDENA’S AND RAGS ON THEIR HEAD

WERE STILL GOING NORTH. NOBODY KNOWS HOW LONG WE’LL STAY. ITS NOT THAT BAD HERE. MEANING, IT COULD BE WORSE. 

I USED A “SHIT-CHAIR”. ITS JUST A METAL CHAIR WITH A HOLE CUT IN THE MIDDLE AND THE SEAT FROM A TOILET BOLTED TO IT, GROSS.

HELICOPTERS CAN BE HEARD ALL DAY AND NIGHT. I GOT TO SEE THEM DROP BOMBS ALL DAY ABOUT 3 DAYS AGO, FROM A DISTANCE OF COURSE.

ILL BE DRIVING AGAIN, IN A MINUTE. PROBABLY RE-FUEL AND BACK ON THE ROAD AGAIN. IM ENJOYING IT.

I HAVE 8 MAGAZINES FULL OF ROUNDS. NO GRENADES, BUT I LIKE IT LIKE THAT.

SOMETIMES IT SMELLS LIKE SHIT.

I GUESS ILL END IT HERE FOR NOW

I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU TWO TWICE IF NOT THRICE AS MUCH AS YOU MIGHT MISS ME TOO.

HELLO AGAIN. WERE SOMEWHERE NEAR TIKRI + MOSUL. YESTERDAY, ME + MENDOZA WENT LOOKING FOR MOMENTO’S. WE BROKE A LOCK TO A NEAR BY BUNKER AND FOUND 6 A.K.47s! BUT ON OUR WAY BACK TO TURN THEM IN, MAJOR TATU GOT THEM FROM US. I WAS SO PISSED. BUT I GOT A GAS MASK w/ FILTER, A FULL MAGAZINE CLIP FROM ONE OF THE A.K.s AND A BERET WITH IRAQ 1 RANK ON IT.

I MADE A STENCIL FOR THE TRUCK WERE RIDING IN. ITS CALLED THE “GAMBLER.” YESTERDAY MENDOZA DROVE, SO TODAY ILL BE DRIVING.

IM NOT POSITIVE, BUT, I THINK WERE GOING TO TURKEY. NIETO SAYS THAT HE OVERHEARD SOMEBODY FROM S1 (or SI, I’m not sure) SAYING WE MIGHT GET PAID EXTRA FOR GOING THROUGH BAGHDAD.

I THINK NIETO’S MAD AT ME. CANT EXPLAIN WHY. MAYBE ITS BECAUSE IM RIDING WITH MENDOZA AND HE DOESNT LIKE MENDOZA TOO MUCH. OH WELL, WHATEVER REASON, HOPE THINGS GET NORMAL AGAIN. HAVE TO GO,

*hearts and xs*

TODAY IS THE 25th OF APRIL, I RECEIVED FIVE OR SIX (OR SEVEN) LETTERS YESTERDAY. THE LATEST WAS DATED 07 OF APRIL. THAT TELLS ME THAT ITS GOING TO TAKE A WHILE TO COMMUNICATE.

WE HAVENT RECEIVED MAIL BECAUSE WEVE BEEN MOVING NEVER STAYING IN ONE PLACE MORE THAN A DAY, OR TWO, UNTIL NOW. WE’VE BEEN IN THIS SPOT GOING ON FOUR DAYS TOMORROW?!

GIVE ME A MINUTE...

FOR THE LAST COUPLE OF DAYS IVE BEEN HELPING MENDOZA PULL THE ENGINE OUT OF A 5 TON TRUCK AND SWITCH IT w/ ANOTHER ONE. IT WOULD HAVE BEEN EASY BUT THE FLY WHEEL SEIZED UP INSIDE THE BELL HOUSING. ITS FINISHED NOW AND THE RUMOR IS WE’RE LEAVING  (OR MOVING) AGAIN TOMORROW.

ITS 10:33 THURSDAY MORNING. YOUR TIME IS 12:32 JUST TURNING THURSDAY.

I ALMOST CRYED WHEN I SAW ELIS PICTURE. I REALLY MISS BOTH OF YOU. LET ME BACK TO BEFORE I GOT DISTRACTED. I HAVENT BEEN ABLE TO SEND MAIL BECAUSE WE’VE BEEN MOVING. BUT I GUESS THAT WHATEVER THREAT THERE WAS (IF ANY), ISNT SO THREATFUL ANYMORE, WE CAN START RECEIVING AND SENDING MAIL. NO PHONE TO CALL FROM, AND NO INTERNET TO E-MAIL FROM.

THE WHOLE UNIT IS SCATTERED, SO EVEN IF I GET WHAT YOU NEED IT’LL TAKE FOREVER TO GET IT TO YOU. LET ME PULL THOSE LETTERS BACK OUT. OH WAIT. I DID LAUNDRY AND SOME UNDERWEAR THATS DRY, FELT HARD, OH WELL, WAIT A SECOND, K

I HAD TO FOLD SOME T-SHIRTS. ALL MY SOCKS ARE STILL DAMP. 

YOU CAN USE MY CONTRACT TO SHOW THAT I ENLISTED IN TEXAS AND HOWS THIS

*On a separate sheet my dad wrote a detailed note for my mom to give to someone to confirm that he did want to buy a house. He writes “I AM ALIVE AND WELL.” and “PLEASE ACCEPT THIS PAPER”, then he signed it with his scribble signature, and underneath it wrote his name in print and added “1st SQUADRON 10th CAVALRY HEADQUARTERS TROOP (I have no clue what this means)*

HOW’S THAT? HOPE I SPELLED EVERYTHING CORRECTLY. IM ALMOST READY WITH A DESIGN TO COVER THE OTHER TATTOOS ON MY LEFT FOREARM.

I JUST FINISHED LOOKING OVER ALL THOSE LETTERS YOU SENT FOR ME

IM BACK! I GOT SLEEPY SO I TRYED TO LAY DOWN FOR A LITTLE BIT. NO SLEEP. I DONT THINK. I DIDNT HAVE ENOUGH WATER TO WASH MY DCV’S AND A PAIR OF BDV’S. BESIDES FOR DRINKING WATER, BUT WE HAVE TO CONSERVE IT.

LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THE RUMORS. TOMORROW WE’LL BE LEAVING FOR THE IRAN/IRAQ BORDER TO DO “PEACE KEEPING” FOR 3 TO 6 mths. OTHERS SAY THAT THE 4ID (i think is what this says) GENERAL WANTS TO KEEP US HERE TILL NOV., THATS WHEN 1 CAV WILL COME TO REPLACE US. WHILE OTHERS SAY WE MIGHT LEAVE BY JUNE. NOTHINGS FOR SURE.

SMALLER RUMORS FLOATING AROUND THE SITE ARE; RAMSEY AND SFC BACON ARE SLEEPING TOGETHER. SGT SIREK HAS PLANS TO TAKE NIETO AS HIS APPRENTICE AND PADIWAN LEARNER OF THE DARK SIDE. LITTLE BLACK ARNOLD IS MILITARY INTELLIGENCE FOR SPECIAL FORCES OPERATING UNDER COVER A SURVEILLENCE AS PART OF

*the rest of the page is blank*

IM BACK. TODAY IS THE 27th. I GOT BACK TO THE LITTLE CAMP AREA ABOUT AN HOUR AND A HALF AGO. I LEFT YESTERDAY MORNING TO, WELL, AS PART OF DE-CON (DE-CONTAMINATION) MISSION. HERES THE INFORMATION THAT I GATHERED.

A SITE HAD BEEN FOUND THAT WAS THOUGHT TO HAVE CHEMICAL WEAPONS AND 1-10 WAS APPOINTED TO GO TO THE SITE AND DE-CON THE CIVILIANS THAT WERE GOING TO OPEN THEM. AS IT TURNS OUT THE CIVILIANS HAVE BEEN DE-LAYED AND WOULD BE SET BACK 1 DAY.

THE NBC TEAM THAT I WAS WITH WERENT PREPARED TO STAY OVER NIGHT AND AS FORCASTED BY SSG MINOR WE MIGHT HAVE HAD TO STAY 3 TO 4 DAYS. EVERYBODY WAS PISSED.

LATELY ITS BEEN GETTING REALLY COLD AT NIGHT AND WE JUST HAPPENED TO BE NEAR A RUNNING RIVER. SO THE, ITS ABOUT 9 O’CLOCK AND IM BEAT, NO SLEEPING BAG OR ANYTHING TO COVER UP WITH AND I DECIDE TO TRY AND SLEEP. I GET AS COMFORTABLE AS POSSIBLE AND I GET ATTACKED BY MOSQUITOS. NOW IM PISSED SO I DECIDED TO JUST TO STAY UP ALL NIGHT. ABOUT 10PM ONE OF THE HEMTT (this might just say “hemi”, I don’t know) FUELERS SHOWS UP AND SGT TORRES SAYS HE HAS EVERYBODYS SLEEPING BAG! THE SITES ABOUT 45 MINS AWAY AND THEY LEFT SOMETIME MID AFTERNOON TO GET OUR SHIT, I HATE THESE PEOPLE.

RIGHT NOW ITS 9:01 PM AND ITS 11:02 AM YOUR TIME. I MISS YOU.

RIGHT NOW IM GOING TO ADDRESS AN ENVELOPE AND HAVE IT READY TO SEND TOMMOROW THE 28th. IM SORRY IF IT SEEMS THAT IM NOT WRITING VERY OFTEN. FOR A WHILE WE COULDN’T. AND NOW THAT IT SEEMS WE MIGHT BE HERE A LITTLE WHILE, THEYVE KEPT ME REALLY BUSY. LET ME ADDRESS THE ENVELOPES (he drew a star here)

ALL DONE. I THOUGHT ABOUT THE HOUSE A LOT TODAY AND YESTERDAY. IM SURE BY THE TIME THIS LETTER REACHES YOU, YOU’LL HAVE EITHER GOTTEN IT OR GAVE IT UP. IM O.K. WITH EITHER DECISION YOUVE MADE.

YOUVE KEPT THIS FAMILY TOGETHER, AND THAT MAKES ME PROUD. YOUR SMART, ATTRACTIVE AND FUNNY. AND YOU DONT TAKE ANY SHIT FROM ANYBODY. I LOVE YOU.

I HOPE THAT OUR DAUGHTER TURNS OUT TO BE LIKE YOU.

I GUESS ILL MAIL THIS TOMORROW, FIRST THING, SO

EVER YOURS

EVER MINE

*my dad signed it with his scribble, and wrote his name under it. under that are hearts and x’s with my mom’s name and then my name under hers.*

[juiceboxman]

Thoughts on the Snyder Cut of Justice League

Watched the Snyder Cut a few days ago, here are my thoughts. SPOLIERS AHEAD:

1) Characters are presented WAY better. Batman is less goofy, Wonder Woman has more kick ass scenes, as does Aquaman. Snyder REALLY got Mera right, woman straight up nearly gave Steppenwolf an aneurism which I applaud Snyder for showing because it shows how much of a BOSS Mera is. Cyborg has an actual story arc which is great. Flash is still quite awkward but he has a good heart so once you get used to his awkwardness he’s pretty good

2) All the footage is original Snyder film plus reshoots he done. You can tell which is reshoots depending on quality of CGI and Green Screen. Martian Manhunter was very obviously one of these editions, which I’ll get to later. Most of Whedon’s scenes are gone, which is good for the most part cause outside of the ethical issues that taints those films with Whedon’s behaviour on set, they just straight up conflict with the tone. So less quippy jokes and weird creepy scenes (like the one where Martha was talking how Clark referred to Lois as “the thirstiest girl he’s ever known” like...have you met Clark Kent? What on gods green earth would make you think he would say ANYTHING like that let alone to his MOTHER??? Also that weird scene where Flash was lying on top of Wonder Woman, cause Whedon is weird) however there was one scene (with Bruce and Diana touching the mouse at the same time) which felt quite Whedony. One scene I would have liked to see that would have gotten kept in was Batman’s whole “save one person” speech to Flash. Think that solidified Batman as a veteran hero and makes him look like a person who actually wants to help people rather than punch people, which a lot of batman writers tend to forget to mark on. Without that, nobody gives Flash any guidance in this film and I was disappointed in that

3) Cyborg was great. His powers are clearly and well defined, honestly the way Zac presented his abilities made this dude look super scary. But he has a good heart and Ray Fisher CRUSHES IT. Honestly when Victor teared up in the car with his mum, I was sold. Like this big charismatic quarterback being brought to tears...you just don’t see that in a lot of films, with men typically being presented so stoic and tough. I’m glad we got to see that. Fisher is a fantastic actor and I’m happy he got way more scenes in this movie. Hope to see his Cyborg show up again some day

4) Movie looks stunning. Snyder really has a great visual style. Like the whole scene where Vic is playing football is just gorgeous. Also the Flash’s powers look really cool, love his running scenes

5) I don’t think Martian Manhunter should have been in the movie. Narratively doesn’t really fit and it creates some serious plot issues within the universe. Questions like “why didn’t he do anything in MoS?” Or “why didn’t he do anything in BvS?” having him in this movie kind of feels off. Like how he imitated Martha to give Lois a pep talk, like thats a very serious moment for Lois- do you not think she’s going to bring that up with the real Martha??? Also, the ending with Martian Manhunter was just so weird. Like just showing up to say “Good job, Bruce. Oh, here’s my superhero name. Call me!” felt quite fan servicey and the CGI for him looked bad imo. Think in future should try full body makeup if they wanna do Manhunter in the future

6) I don’t think the Cut had to be four hours, there was just a lot of pretty shows, a lot of slow motion (seriously, like way too much slow motion. Reminds me of that bit from Garth Mangenari’s Darkplace where they talk about how because episodes were 8 minutes shorter than they should have been they just made everything non dialogue slow motion to drag out the time) and a lot of information is repeated. Think with a good editor this could be cut down to three hours, which I think would make a more concise and better film

7) Villain’s are more compelling. Steppenwolf is more interesting, we actually get to see some Darkseid and I think Snyder does a great job at showing the threat level they pose. Also actually gives a reason why Darkseid is interested in conquering earth, which is pretty neat. All in all the lore in the movie is pretty tight

8) I don’t buy how Superman will turn evil. Like you’re telling me this good little farmer’s boy loses his fiancee and then decides to nuke the world? Nah, I don’t buy it. I would however have bought it if the resurrected Superman showed some emotional development complications. Which I initially thought they were going for as Clark had issues remembering who he was, but after five minutes he was back to normal so crisis averted. Shame cause I think that would have been interesting, see a Clark Kent who on paper is the same guy but now he has no empathy. Would have been really tragic and would have shown the price of ressurection

9) I would have liked an explanation in the movie as to why Superman had a black suit. I know Snyder has said in interviews about how the suit is a call back to his homeworld, because at the time of its destruction everyone was basically dressed in black. However there’s no explanation as to why t is this case in the movie. In the comics, Superman had to wear the black suit because it was part of the ressurection procedure. Not so much in the movie, another case of fan service that didn’t make much sense

10) Epilogue stuff was interesting. At that point in the end I felt like Zac was just pitching movies. We get Ben Affleck’s Batman movie with Deathstroke. We get this super weird apocalypse movie with a rag tag justice league which I would honestly love to see. Also throughout the movie you get a lot of set up for the Flash’s movie, referencing the time stuff so I think that if the Flash movie ever gets out of development hell it’ll be Flashpoint. A lot of it did feel a tad fan servicey. Snyder said he put the joker in there at the end cause Ben and Jared never played off one another, seeing them on screen together I think Jared is definitely the perfect Joker for Affleck’s Batman. Think he could dial it down a little- like don’t be sending used condoms or rats to you co-stars please and then years later denying you ever did that shit

All in all, the movie was too long but I found myself enjoying it quite a lot. Fare better than the Frankenstein movie Whedon and WB cut together four years ago. I really don’t think they should have rushed into Death of Superman story so quick, or try to rush into a shared universe quite like in BvS either. That said if you don’t like Snyder’s style, you’ll probably not like the film. I personally like his style and I really enjoyed it, though I can admit it is a bit flawed.

Its actually quite remarkable that this movie got made in the first place. I think if it wasn’t for the massive fan pushback and the fact that a worldwide pandemic occurred, this movie would have still been a pipe dream. I don’t think we’re getting any of the movies pitched in Snyder’s epilogue. 

Like this movie going to streaming is not going to break even the $70 million dollars pumped into it and the audience that wanted this movie in the first place is too small to justify making more movies like this. There’s also the fact that WB put little to no money in marketing for the movie, so they’re trying to bury it for whatever reason. Like most people had no idea this movie was happening, but they know about all the Star Wars and the Marvel Shows. That’s bad marketing and you can’t help but feel its deliberate

In conclusion, I really liked the movie. I thought Zack did a great job under the circumstances and I’m glad he got to finish it. I know he had to step back because of a family tragedy so I’m really happy he got to finish his movie

[nisaadventures]

I’m turning 30 in 10 days... yikes.

The last year of my life has sucked... lol. Okay, it wasn’t all bad. I’m exaggerating... but I’m also not. I know there were plenty of nice moments in the last year... but when I think about the last year of my life, its just full of so many firsts... awful firsts... 

First time celebrating their birthdays without them...

First holiday season without them... anyone else miss mom’s turkey? Most people don’t like traditional thanksgiving dinner because the turkey is more often dry... mom’s was never dry... Okay the key people.. Don’t actually cook your stuffing in the turkey. Its just going to suck all the juice life out of your bird... I mean come on. Trick #1 stuff the turkey with fresh cut oranges and yes, you can leave the skin on... #2 do majority of the oven time in an oven bag to keep the moisture in. #3 cook breasts down. Its the part thats usually most dry, so duh... keep it in the juicy, buttery goodness of the pan. I never made the entire meal, I usually just helped mom with everything. These are just some things I’ve taken away in my observations. 

Halloween trip to Disneyland without them... Disney is always a good time, but I’d be lying if I said my heart didn’t feel heavy in some way... and that is saying something because Disneyland is my happy place lol. 

Looking forward to 2020... Hoping that it had so much better in store for us. 

Dear lord... what a joke. 

Going to Hawaii for our “family trip” without them...

A pandemic without them... I mean yes, I’m thankful they aren’t out there with COVID on the rise... I’m glad they’re not stuck at home because COVID. Mom and Michael are both too much of busy bees to be cooped up in the house for too long. 

Not going to lie... picking up where they left has been hard. All of moms plants... The dogs.. Taking care of the backyard, where Michael usually would. Mom would definitely do too much at once. She’d be out in the yard planting something and pulling out something else in her damn UGG boots! wth mom?! Those are expensive! lol. “Oh its fine.. I’ll wash them.” Omg lol. Either that, or she’d be over here trying to move heavy a$$ pots by herself and I’d have to stop her before she hurt her back. Ayiyi. 

Keanu and Aria’s birthdays without them... seeing my babies sad and missing their grandma, grandpa, and aunties has been hard. It will be out of nowhere sometimes... and all the nights of Aria waking up in the middle of the night crying. I feel you baby girl... I get it. I miss them too... Its okay to be sad... Mantras... 

You were her little rays of sunshine. Grandpa and grandma loved you SOOOO much. 

Mom would babysit the kids on Saturday mornings, while Kuya, Vaness, and I went to workout. They’d go get breakfast, pancakes and eggs, at UJs. She’d take them to Target, the dollar store, Walmart, etc. just so they could look and maybe get something to play with together. She always crafted with them. 

Living in this house... especially with COVID... has been hard. I miss just sitting at the dinner table, eating sho mi, and talking about work. Mom and Michael getting all worked up over some crazy manager, or something going down with the union.. yup, that’s where I get it from... advocacy and leadership skills FTW.  One thing they could always talk about for HOURS was work lol. 

I remember when I was a little girl, Mom would let me play in the bathtub until I was all wrinkled. She would let me bring all my toys into the tub. At one point I even had a care bear doll that she, for some reason, let me take in the bath lol. She’d throw it in the dryer for me after I was done. 

I remember going to the grocery store with mom and leaving with two full a$$ grocery carts because we had a full house at all times. I mean it was Kuya, my cousin Jojo, my brother Derric, my cousin John, Bubba, my cousin Jay, me and whoever else was over the house lol. When Kuya was in high school, it was all of his buddies partying at our house and crashing on the floor in the living room, dining room, and all the couches. She was the #1 host for sure.

“Are you hungry? Did you eat yet?” 

Thats love. 

All of Kuya’s high school friends called her Mom. My friends called her Mama Fern. She loved that. 

I remember playing hide n go seek in the dark in our tiny town house.. Later in the bigger house on Glenbriar... where mom actually tripped and broke her arm... But she laughed so hard she peed her pants, so she was a good sport? lol. Needless to say, we sort of stopped playing after that.

I remember making dim sum with mom for the first time. Such a hot mess, flour and food everywhere, but so fun. We definitely didn’t do that again until there were more adults around to help lol. Mom knew how to run through a kitchen like a tornado. Hot mess! but the best cook. 

Mom was always careful. She always wanted to make sure we were safe, that I was safe. I couldn’t go outside unless one of the boys was with me. When I would swim she would get nervous, even though I learned how to swim at a young age thanks to Kuya. One day, we were having a bbq, lots of family over, I was playing in the jacuzzi (drawing on the wall of the jacuzzi with a piece of chlorine... don’t play with chemicals kids lol) and she thought I was drowning? So she jumps her a$$ in there fully clothed and yanks my a$$ out. I was shocked as hell, so I naturally started crying hella hard and complaining about the fact that she scratched me when she yanked me up out of the water lol.

Keep in mind that that was not the first time one of the twins jumped into the pool fully clothed to “save” someone hahaha. 

 Speaking of fully clothed in the pool... The time auntie tripped and fell slo-mo style (that questionable, are you going to catch your balance, speed) into the pool LOL. Mom was dead laughing at her. Most hilarious video. 

Those twins lol. 

Jeeze.. speaking of the twins. They had this crazy connection. Tell me why when mom got sick with suspected viral meningitis and had to be hospitalized... Auntie straight up followed her right into the ICU with viral meningitis... 

Who remembers their 50th birthday? Talk about doing it BIG. So much fun. All the performances. Lani was there... KMA performances and kuya and John getting down for Maglalatik. Who doesn’t like seeing some half naked, buff dudes, bang coconuts together? haha. The twins getting down with their hula performance. Cute!

I remember when Mom and pops were going through their divorce and she would text me after midnight. I was going to Sac State and of course I was team NO sleep at the time. I would be in the AIRC studying. I’d comfort as best as I could from a distance... and then come home on weekends to be there with her when I could. 

She found her footing again. Started going to the gym with Kuya more... Started running all the time... all of her half marathons and finally she did the Nike Women’s Marathon. 

Hiking Half Dome with her. What.a.badass. 

That is really how I see her. She was so badass. When she was my age she had my 9 year old Kuya and I was on the way... She was working and supporting us and then eventually decided to make a better life for us, and went back to school... NURSING SCHOOL. wth. I can’t even imagine doing that right now, but reminding myself of where she has been and how much she PUT IN WORK... That keeps me grounded in the fact that we are responsible for our lives. If you want something, you have to work for it. You can’t just hope for better... you make better happen. 

I guess its that reminder... her strength... her and Michael’s love and hard work... That keeps me going. 

Being mindful... being thankful... acknowledging my own strength... 

But with that said... August has been increasingly hard. I don’t like to think about my birthday. I don’t even want to plan anything. They’re not here... I can’t celebrate with all my loved ones and friends. Thank you COVID... 

We’re just getting closer and closer to the anniversary? Nah.. lets not call it that... anniversary sounds like something nice... something to celebrate... This is NOT that. The day your loved ones are taken is not something to celebrate... I mean honestly, if I had to pinpoint the worst day of my life, that was it.... When I think about that day I can’t breathe. Terrible memories... so many sleepless nights. I’ve come so far. Its still hard, but I’ve come a long way. 

Anyway... this post is sort of random and nostalgic. Things I hold onto. Things that make me happy cry... Things that weigh heavy on my heart. 

Here’s my playlist for grief... reminders of them... collected over the last year:

Aloha for now -Kaleo Vai & Passion 

One day at a time -Jennifer Chung

In the end - Gabe Bondoc, Melissa Polinar, Passion

Round and around -Kolohe Kai

Fade Away -Rebelution

Alive -The Green

New Day -Kimie’

Angels above me -Stick Figure

Memories -Maroon 5

Wish you pain -Andy Grammer

100 -Katchafire

Everyday life -Coldplay

Out of the darkness -Isla vista worship, Bre Reed

Amen -Andra Day

Grateful -13 Crowns feat. Poo Bear

Rainbow Connection -Gwen Stefani

Be okay -ZOE worship 

With you -Eryn Allen Kane

Dont worry -Mesto feat. Aloe Blacc

Just livin’ -Sensi trails, Kbong

Remember me -Miguel, Natalia Lafourcade

Even more -Major

Let it be -Xav A.

Give Thanks -Iya terra, Stick figure

Mr. Sun -Sammy Johnson

Rest easy -Thrive, Nico of Tribal Theory

Sunny Days- Allen Stone

Today’s a new day -Common Kings

Mother’s Love -Jonah Jaxon, Micah G

The bones -Maren Morris, Hozier

Give you blue -Allen Stone

And we remain -Johnnyswim

Yellow -Kina Grannis

Streetcar -Daniel Caesar

Meant to be -Bebe Rexha, Florida georgia line

All you need to know -Gryffin, slander, Calle Lehmann

Like I’m gonna lose you -Jasmine Thompson

[quarkcore]

1-5 for the asks :)

1: Song of the year?

ok so i feel like theres so many contenders for this. This year has been strange for me, and right until i finished my degree, I didnt listen to much new music. I had a real focus on nostalgic faves. Because of that I have a hard time placing a specific favourite; its all just this long blur of old familiar tunes. If we go by my spotify, “Alone Again Or” by Love is my top song, and i cant deny that its absolute bop. If were going by what song i consider my fave right now, its “Lay This Body Down” by Sam Lee.  If i was gonna choose an absolute favourite new track, I think i would go with “Rack Of His” by Fiona Apple. Obviously, her new album is an absolute masterpiece, and thats the song that i just consistently enjoyed the most.

2: Album of the year?

Not Fetch The Boltcutters, surprisingly. For the place I was in, I personally found it just a bit too much to take in. I had a pretty massive shift towards pop, which FTBC just..... isnt. I needed comfort, familiarity, something i didnt need to analyse. With that in mind, The Mountain Goats’ The Jordan Lake Sessions is becoming a real late game favourite for me. I have started listening to stuff that challenges me a bit more again, but i still crave old favourites, and TJLS has packed a lot of old favourites onto one album, while also filling the gap that the lack of live music venues created in my life. Listening to TMG live is a really special experience for me and to have something replicate that, even imperfectly, really meant a lot to me.

3: Favorite musical artist / group you started listening to this year?

There isnt an immediate standout for me, so I’m just gonna list a few good contenders. Rina Sawayama, who id technically listened to before, but never to the same extent is an obvious choice, Noname (who id also technically listened to before) is another. Id also listened to the Kinks before, but got into them after watching a part of the umbrella academy and rewatching hot fuzz (they feature on both soundtracks). Ive really been enjoying Dorian Electra, and 100 Gecs became a new favourite in abt the same time period. yet again im limited by how little new music ive listened to lghdkfgj.

4: Movie of the year?

FINALLY ONE I CAN DO!!!!! ITS PARASITE ITS 100% PARASITE!!! nothing has worked its way into my brain in the same way, I’ve watched it 3 times and every single time i went fucking ballistic. i dont think theres anything i can say thats not already been said better, but the single bit that hits me the most is the one where the Kim family’s sub-basement has flooded and the father tells his son “You know what kind of plan never fails? No plan. No plan at all. You know why? Because life cannot be planned. Look around you. Did you think these people made a plan to sleep in the sports hall with you? But here we are now, sleeping together on the floor. So, there's no need for a plan. You can't go wrong with no plans. We don't need to make a plan for anything. It doesn't matter what will happen next. Even if the country gets destroyed or sold out, nobody cares. Got it?” because GOD how fucking real is that. every fucking day im thinking about parasite.

5: TV show of the year?

SPN’s Destiel but only for the bants.

Nah, kidding. its still deep space nine for me right now, but red dwarf is also a contender. both are rewatches (continuing the trend for the year glhfgkj). If you havent watched red dwarf, its a sci-fi sitcom, focussing on Lister and Rimmer, the two lowest ranking people on the ship red dwarf. Along with the Cat (exactly what it sounds like) and Holly, the ships’ AI, they on a quest to return home to earth. If you are a big fan of star trek, and want something extremely funny, and which in many ways critiques utopian sci fi (imo) you cant go wrong. Red Dwarf’s vision of the future is that its more or less the same as now, and thats mined both for comedic purposes, and for more serious plot lines. I first watched it when i was around 10 years old, and going back and rewatching only reinforced my belief that its one of the greatest shows of all time. It has a lot to say abt the british class system, and abt the capabilities of the peopel at the very bottom of society, in my opinion. It also unfortunately has a lot of homophobia and misogyny. The way i personally cope with that is by not watching the only season with an actual human woman (yes, really), and by taking all the  gay jokes to their logical conclusion, and actually headcanoning multiple characters as lgbt. its my show now and i can do what i want.

if youre here, then i assume you know what ds9 is like and why its good.

edit: A) what did tumblr DO to this post, B) i forgot joanna newsom!!! its bc shes not on spotify rip. DEFINITELY a new fave and contender for new fave artist.

[a-wanderin-whirlybird]

Sole Ender AU Its the Little Things

It's the little things that made Ryan feel safe with the Fakes. Like how Gavin and Michael always walk on his right side, never his left, so he can always see them. It's how Geoff makes sure that any Heists outdoors are occurring when it doesnt rain. It's how Jack always has an extra umbrella or Eye Patch for him. How Jeremy and Lindsay make sure to never make direct eye contact. Jeremy looks at his mouth, Lindsay watches anywhere and everywhere else.

Those little things always made Ryan feel welcome. Even after they found out about the experiments, the Lab, the Eye. But still, something felt missing, Ryan could never put his finger on it. But he felt, lost still. He didnt realize the Emptiness was caused by something so simple until one night while playing Trivial Pursuit.

"Authors last names? Fuck that! Every last bastard whose ever written a book has a weird ass last name! They could be Hilda Sasquatch or some shit!" Jeremy shouted. Jack laughed and Gavin snorted.

"Jeremy, you wrote a book." Michael reminded him.

"Well Dooley is a funny last name!" Gavin pointed out as Jeremy growled and slapped the Brit on the back of his head.

"Yeah, like Free is any better!" Jack was losing it in the background as the Lads began to bicker and wrestle. Ryan's nose scrunched as his chest tightened and the empty feeling began again.

"What's with the face Rye?" Geoff asked breaking Ryan's stare. His left eye was covered with a glittering purple and blue eye patch Gavin had made out of his Sparkles. It was a fine gift, one that Ryan treasured.

"Its, it's nothing really." Ryan insisted a bit hesitantly. Geoff shook his head.

"Suuuuuurrrre, it's really nothing." Geoff drawled sarcastically. Ryan rolled his eye.

"Your like a security camera." Ryan muttered. "You keep digging and digging."

"Yeah that's not weird at all." Geoff sighed. "But fine, I'll stop. Just remember you Can talk to us."

"I... I know Geoff." Ryan muttered as the fight before them settled. "Just. Not now?"

Geoff nodded and they all turned back to the game. Ryan hoped that he could bury that empty feeling and never touch it again.

It was just a Last Name after all.

Turns out Ryan couldnt avoid the feeling for long. It was another game night a few weeks later. Jack and Geoff were out with Gavin, so Michael, Jeremy and Lindsay insisted Ryan joined them for Mario Party.

"Right so what's got you so fucked?" Michael asked never looking away from the mini game on the screen.

"Oh elegantly put Jones." Jeremy teased. Michael knocked into Jeremy who went tumbling away and Ryan felt the hole in his chest open again.

"I dont know what you mean." Ryan said as Lindsay pressed into him.

"Bullshit you keep wincing at random! Your eye bugging you?" Lindsay asked this time. Ryan shook his head, he felt stupid he just wanted these people to stop caring so much!

"We arent going to stop caring dipshit that isnt how this works." Jeremy said. Great, Ryan thought, he said that out loud.

"Yeah! We're a crew and shit we ain't gonna not care! Somethings bugging you and we want to help!" Lindsay declared throwing her arms around Ryan and pulling him into a hug.

Ryan tensed then mumbled.

"Sorry what was that?" Michael smirked. "Cant hear you through Lindsay dude."

"I dont have a fucking last name alright? It's a small stupid thing but it drives me nuts! I feel even less human!" Ryan shouted, pushing away from Lindsay. Michael and Lindsay began to laugh.

"Dude chill. It's just a name it doesnt mean shit!" Michael wheezed.

"Yeah dude. No need to get your panties in a twist over it." Lindsay added. Ryan growled and silently rose to his feet.

"Ryan?" Jeremy started but with a Vwoop, Ryan teleported away leaving the three others behind. In a cloud of dull sparkles.

Ryan could teleport pretty far. The farthest he ever went in one go was 20 miles. But now he didnt want to go far, just hide. And what better place to hide than one of the safe houses?

It was a small apartment closer to the suburbs of Los Santos, it was nice, if small. It was usually reserved for when someone was on a solo mission and needed to lie low, which meant that Ryan was there most. So he got to decorate.

Back at the Labs he never got to make any space his own. Everything was sterile and empty. He hated to remember the open space and clean white walls and the smell of bleach and chemicals.

Which was why this space was filled with stuff. Sure it was tidy, nothing was rotten or moldy, but Ryan used every space available. If the floor didnt have a rug there was a table or chair. If the tables didn't have Flowers, TVs, knickknacks or something on it there was usually a cup of Diet Coke. It was filled to the brim with bright plants, paintings, photos you name it.

Ryan plopped down on the couch feeling stupid. Why was he so hung up on a name? He had given himself the name Ryan sure, why not a last name?

Ryan knew why, and as that thought rose up he pushed it away. He didnt want any memories of the Labs in his head right now. Now he wanted to just sleep, he wanted to feel less... less stupid and childish.

So Ryan went off to the bedroom and buried himself deep under the covers, like he used to, and blocked out the rest of the world.

Ryan was 13 again and he sat on his cot, swinging his legs absently.

"Why dont I get one?" He heard himself ask. "Why am I only a number?"

"Names are given by family to people. You have no family and you are no longer human. You are far better than that." One of the blurred figures said. The second scoffed.

"Better? It cant even run the most basic excersise without failing ten times. Its isnt anything but a waste." Ryan couldnhear the sneer in the figure's voice as pain shot through every nerve on his body. "Failure doesnt get you a name of any kind. You are a tool, and a broken one at that. Dont forget that."

Ryan woke up with a start. Turning to the clock Ryan cursed. 3 am. He wasnt going back to sleep. Again.

Getting to his feet Ryan didnt bother to change into fresh clothes. He had slept in his jeans why not just use them again? But he grabbed a jacket and went out into the night.

Mount Chilliad loomed in the distance as Ryan walked the dark streets of Los Santos. He could have teleported where he wanted to go, or even driven. But he didnt want to. Walking felt better, it gave agency, he decided where his feet went, no one else.

"Oh Thank Fuck! I've been looking everywhere for you!" Ryan jumped, ready to fight and run from the handlers. When recognition snapped his mind from bad memories.

Standing before him was Jeremy, holding a tiny wiggling bundle of fur. A cat from what Ryan could tell. Jeremy smiled nervously, but relief was evident in the smaller man's eyes.

"Look, uh. Fuck I suck at this shit. Let's go inside yeah? We are near a place I own. Come on." Jeremy ushered Ryan towards a nearby apartment building. Ryan followed wordlessly, but obediently. At the door Jeremy hopped around a little.

"Keys, keys. Uh Hey Rye mind.holding him for a sec?" Jeremy then thrust the cat into Ryan's hands who finally got a good look at the little fur ball.

They were a tiny black kitten, fuzzy and wiggling furiously. What stood out the most was that it was missing a front leg.

The door clicked as.Ryan made eye contact with the little kitten. His chest tightened and his mind whirled as he looked into the kittens little eyes. Then it looked at Ryan's jacket and started burrowing into one of the interior pockets. Ryan felt a purr resonating out of the tiny cat from in his jacket and through his ribs. His chest began to unclench and suddenly he was.aware he was inside a studio apartment.

There were art supplies everywhere. Everything from Yarn and Knitting needles, to paints and canvases to wood sculptures, and musical instruments were strewn about. Jeremy hopped around the room over to a ragged old bed, kicking off his shoes as he went.

"Well, make yourself at home. Dont mind the mess things just get thrown around alot." Jeremy said sheepishly. Ryan picked his way through the room, his eye moving around and soaking up all the little pieces. The space felt lived in not just visited like the safe houses.

"Is this a safe house?" Ryan asked as he sat down on the bed. Jeremy shook his head.

"Nah. It's my apartment. Before I joined the Fakes I lived here. Still try to come back, sometimes you just need your own place you know?" Jeremy explained. There was a tense silence for a few minutes then Jeremy spoke.

"Michael and Lindsay were being a bitch." Ryan tensed ready to run. "No please just, hear me out?"

Ryan froze, suddenly aware he had gotten up to leave. Jeremy had his arm, and the Kitten purred even louder than before. Ryan sank back onto the bed.

"Look. I dont know what your life was like before you joined us but it obviously wasnt even a little bit good. Actually it sounds like it was fucking awful." Ryan laughed dryly.

"That's putting it lightly."

"Yeah no shit. But it's not stupid to feel shit." A pause. " If not having a Last name bugs you why dont you give yourself one?"

"Its not..."

"Not that simple yeah?" Jeremy finished Ryan nodded as the kitten crawled out on Ryan's lap.

"Alright, well. Do you think you can tell me why?" Jeremy asked. Ryan thought, eye down on the kitten as the little guy curled up on his lap without a care.

"Its not the same. It belongs to a family. I cant be a family of one." Ryan insisted and Jeremy shook his head.

"Ok two things. One. Thats a load of horseshit and who ever told you that was dumb as fuck. And two. There is more to it isnt there?" Ryan stayed silent. Running his fingers through the Kitten's fur. Jeremy began to whisper. "You're human, Rye. Just cause someone says you arent doesnt make it true. I know that one."

Ryan froze he didnt expect anyone to pick up on that. The whole Not human but was always somewhere in the back of his mind, eating at him. Jeremy wrapped himself around Ryan hugging him tightly. Ryan shook as he melted into the other man's touch, a few tears spilling out.

"You know. My family abandoned me when I was a teenager. Said I was a monster just cause I kissed both guys and girls. Not exactly dubious experiments but it is dehumanizing all the same. I kept my last name though. I did it as a big old fuck you to them. They died during one of the Fake's heists. Got to watch then burn myself. But the name never connected me to them, a name connects you to who ever you want it to." Jeremy was quiet as he spoke, his voice against Ryan's skin as he pressed into Ryan's neck.

Something was bubbling in his brain, but Ryan had no idea what it was. And right now was not the time to figure that out.

A small Meow pulled the two away from one another. The little kitten was trying to climb up Ryan's jacket between the two. As it scrambled up Jeremy laughed, and Ryan felt a chuckle escape his throat. The kitten then flung itself over Ryan's shoulder, it's one front paw kneading his shoulder blade and purring up a storm.

"I forgot this little guy was here." Jeremy said through a laugh. A pause, then Jeremy smiled softly. "Ya know, I was going to take him to the shelter. Geoff won't let me keep any animals. But I think you should take him."

"You just said-" Ryan began but Jeremy shook his head.

"I'm not allowed any animals. Geoff never said anything about you keeping a pet. And hey! Now you have another family member! You can give him a first name and a Last name of your choice!" Jeremy beamed at Ryan who smiled a little.

The sun rose as the Battle Buddies walked into the penthouse. The morning news was filling the living room, telling the story of several Petstores that had been robbed of supplies in the night.

"And what a coincidence, you both have Pet stuff." Geoff hissed as he sucked back more.coffee.

"Yeah well, Ryan's got a cat now so you gotta have toys and a litterbox to you know?" Jeremy said as he dropped a giant bag of cat food next to the kitchen Island.

"I thought I said no pets!" Geoff shouted, his voice cracking.

"Yeah but only for Jeremy." Ryan pointed out. "Abd Finnieas isnt a pet. He's family."

Geoff paused, Ryan knew the gears were turning. Geoff groaned.

"Ugh! Fine! You can keep the damn cat!" Geoff hissed. "And Finnieas? The hell kind of name is that?"

"Ih his full name is Finnieas Gavallo Haywood thank you." Ryan insisted with an air of dramatics. Jeremy giggled and kept in front of Ryan who held the kitten before him.

"A poud name Haywood! Ancient and divine! Dating all the way back to 4 hours ago!" Jeremy exclaimed. Geoff laughed.

"Alright you dolts get a move on. I'm going to text Jack and let them know you two caused the morning rukus." Geoff said. Jeremy took off down towards Ryan's room, a bag of cat toys in hand. As Ryan went to follow, Geoff got up off the couch. He placed a hand on Ryan's shoulder and gave a lop sided smile.

"Haywood's a good name. You know. I picked Ramsey myself when I built this crew. Jack took Patillo at that time to." Geoff then walked away, pulling out his cellphone and typing.

Finnieas purred as Ryan took in the unspoken message.

A name may seem like a Little Thing, but it holds importance all the same. And sometimes you need to give yourself those Little Things to heal.

[hellfirenacht]

Sally Face Chapter 5 Redux

Wrote this for the Sally Face Discord Secret Santa. Please enjoy!

Chapter 1

Hi, my name is Sally Face Aqua Sanity Fisher and I have a prostetic face (that’s how I got my name) and I wear my hair in 2 blue pigtails that goes to my neck and a lot of people tell me I look scary :(  I’m not related to anyone in Sanity’s Fall but I wish I wuz becuz thats my favorite band of all time. ((A/n: if u don’t know who dat is den get the hell out!!1)) I’m am innmate and I wear mostly orange even though it clashes with my hair. Today I was excited and nervous because 2day they were gonna exicute me. I’m a murderer (n case u couldn’t tell) and i was sentenced to death becuz I killed everyone in my old apartment building. The prison guards stared at me as I sat in the electrik chair. I put up my middle finger at them.

“Heeey Sal”  shouted a voice. I looked up. It was... Ashley Campbell!!

“What’s up Ash?” I asked. 

“Nothing.” she replied shyly. 

But then the Cult killed me and I had to go away.

Chapter 2

The next day I woke up above my grave and Ashley was there with some weird triangles. I was kinda annoyed that I was just a bunch of bones and my prosttettetic was laying on the ground. 

My friend Ashley looked up n grinned at me. She was wearing a purple tshirt and black leather jacket and combat boots. It waz very smexy. 

“OMFG ur back!”  she said excitedly. 

“Lol ye” I replied sexily. 

“Did u here? Todd is totally the red eye demon!!1!” she said with a gasp. 

“No way” 

“Way.”

“ANd the cult is like, gonna do a ritual to summon it!” Ashley gaspsed again. “I was gonna go stop it.”

“Oh My. Fcking. God!” I screamed. I loved fucking with the cult. I hate cults they’re such posers. 

“Well... do  you want to go with me?” she asked. 

I gaspsed.

Chapter 3

We met up with Neil and Maple who were having coffee. I hate coffee but I let my friends drink it anyway. 

“Oh my god!” yelled Maple. “Sal you’re a ghosts!”

“Lol ye” I repleid. “Sorry about Chug and Soda.” 

“Lol we Gucci” she replied understatedly. 

“I wanna go save my boyfriend!” Neil said suddenly angrily and throwing his mug against the wall it shattered. We all cheered.

Suddenly............ everrythign went dark!

Chapter 4

Jim sat at his turnrtables blasting Sanitys Fall at me as I stared at him. Jim was Larry’s dad and also an alien. I don’t get what that has to do with anything but I guess that the cult dndt like him so he was banished to the dead wurld. 

“Duuuuuuude you like, gotta get ur shit together if you wanna beat the cult.” he said in a stoner voice. (He was a stoner and smoked all the time- but he was super lame cause he would’t give me any dank space weed) 

“I fucking kno that!” i yelled back. “I need to stop these stupid cultitst from destroying the entire fucking world!!” 

“Yeaaah man like, if you wanna beat the cultists u gotta get with ur friends.” he nodded wisely. 

I am with my friends!” I shoooted back. 

“Nah man, you gotta make peace with everyone u killed.”

And then suddenly I was back in the apartments!!!!

Chapter 5

“Sorry I killed u Chug and Soda” I said. Soda threw a block at me.

“BAD UNCWLE SAWWY” she said and put me in timeout.

“Did you bring me a snack?” asked Chug. I gave him a half eaten candy bar that was in my pocket when I got electricuted. 

“Okay we’re good.” he said. Then I went to a bunch of other people’s rooms and apologized.

Henry and Lisa patted me on the head and gave me some ghost lasagna which I put in my pocket for l8r. Lisa told me to tell Larry to go clean his room. 

I tried to tell her that Larry was still gone when suddenly this weird looking gnome wizard broke down the door..... And was blasting Santiy’s Fall!! 

It was...

...

..

...

LARRY!!!

“Larry nani the fuck u look like some sort of Gnome Wizard!” I yelled. 

“Haha jk I look the same!” he tossed his cloak away...... he looked the same!!

“You look the samee!” I said

“You look the same!” said Lisa

“You look the same!” said Henry (who was my dad when I wasn’t dead)

“We gotta go now.” said Larry and then we both went away. 

Chapter 6

When I woke up we were... in the cult temple! Everyone was staring at us with a “wtf r U doing here” look. Me and Larry and Ash and Neil and Maple put our middle fingers up at them.

Then Todd spoke up!

“Thoust art but children” he said in a deep voice. “How couldst thou beat me?” 

“TODD PLZ I LOVE YOU1!” yelled Neil, throwing his cup of coffee at a cultist again. 

Then me and my friendz all beat the shit out of the cultists and punched the cult leader in the nose.

“How the FUCK are we gonna get Todd down?!” yelled Maple!

“I CAN HELP!” Yelled a voice back.... It was..................................................................................................................... TRAVIS PHELPS!!!!

“But ur a Cultists!” Accused Neil. 

“I may be a cultists....” he sayd mysteriously. “But I’m also gay!!” he yelled and Maple jumped up and ran at him. Travis grabbed Maple and yeeted her into the air twoards Todd!!

Maple untied the ropes and dropped Todd into Neils arms.

“What if... we kissed... in this temple...” said Neil. “And you were kinda possessed by a demon... and all our friends were watching?”

The Todd Eyed Demon protested “what the hell dude!” he yelled “thou canst not kiss me! That’s just wrong!”

But Neil (having gotten express consent before hand from Todd) ignored the Demon and smooched him!!!

“Oh my god!” Yelled Ashley

“Bruh” said Larry

“Nice” said Travis

“It’s not working! :( “ said Neil. 

“We have to ALL SHOW OUR LUV!!” I suddenly gasped and we all went into a big group hug and sang a Sanity’s Fall song at Todd but backwards and it exorcised the demon for real!!!

We all celebrated by helping Ashley blow up the temple and then....

Me and Larry were alive!!! 

Suddenly we heard Jim’s voice “Duuuude u like, totally got the true ending!” he said. “YOu made peace with everyone and like, totally defeated the demon with the power of the found family and self forgiveness and shit. The people you killed gave you the power to be alive now. Proud of you all, man!”

“Thanks Jim” we all said. 

“Your face is still fucked up tho.” he said sadly

“It’s okay,” I said removing the blindfold that had been on my face the whole time from when I was executed. “I don’t need a mask anymore. I have my friends and my life back and I love them all!”

And then we all went to a Sanitys Fall concert and lived happy forever. 

THE END

[overplannedbutunnamednpc]

Jaded, Magic, Offspring, Vice for the alphabet one ... any characters you think are tasty but I would like to request that at least one be for Zephyr for development reasons (bonus if u want to make that be magic and talk abt her feelings on dunemancy as a controlled magic)

i’ll do all four for zephyr and also roll for others bc hehehe.........

Jaded: Do they buy into the “happily ever after” ideal? What’s their standard? Zephyr: not really??? I think growing up as an urchin kind of fucked that up even if she otherwise would. like, I’m sure the ideal in the kryn dynasty is what like. tbq and her wife have, with multiple lives and loving them through every one of them. but like. A) zephyr ain’t consecuted even if she says she is and B) she loves gent but that’s honestly probably her first real relationship and she kind of already knows that won’t end with a happily ever after because. she’s gonna still be in her elf twenties when gent dies. like, zephyrs actually kinda practical about this. she’s not gonna get a happily ever after with gent! she’s kinda accepted that even if she really doesn’t Like it. (and I’m very sad about it but that’s another post, elf lifetime meta included, if you want it). that said! she doesn’t think she won’t be happy! just that she’s smart enough to know that her relationships, such as they are, Will likely end in some pain for her, especially considering all the shit that comes along with a society with consecution. PC: Legacy - like. no? it feels ... cheap to her, I think. maybe it’s just me morgan not really believing in that stuff, but like. she grew up with nice parents who like. nothing was wrong with them of course! but like. she knows better, seeing them be in love with each other and fight and etc., she knows better than to think that anything could be happily ever after. she knows you gotta work at that shit, and I think she’s still figuring out how hard she’d want to work, if that makes sense. she does have a standard, though! she does want to fall in love or at least be infatuated/have someone be infatuated with her! it’s just an experience she wants. but considering her grandmother and her abilities... she kind of doubts she’ll ever be the prince OR princess in the fairytale, you know? NPC: Kiya - hh. Kiya knows better than to think happily ever after is in the cards. she’s got a pretty good thing going with MFU, she loves her employees, and I like the thot of her having a thing for one of them? but like. I’ve said it before: kiya isn’t really a ‘gets nice things for herself’ kind of person. so her standard is ‘it doesn’t happen in the first place.’ which is a little depressing, but hey! maybe she’ll be surprised.

Magic: In a magic series or not, are they accepting, or is each instance a shock? Zephyr: zephyr is a weird one because I like the idea of her being a little disbelieving that magic like. works for her, even though she’s a level 14 wizard with very specific knowledge of the arcane. I’m thinking about sir gentry and how he’s like, 50 years old by now or something. she didn’t look up the normal lifespan of a pet mouse until he was at least like. 10/15 because she just didn’t want to find out that he was about to die, and then she was kinda like ‘huh maybe... maybe he’s a magic mouse?’ (the in game explanation is that her dunamancy (time magic) is just. extending his life bc he hangs out with her and I think it’s cute and my dm loves me). but beyond that. I think it’s really fun if like. zephyr was NOT expecting to actually get into the academy? she made this whole plan expecting to at some point be found out but at least she’d have the knowledge, and then. She Wasn’t’? and she was obviously very happy that it worked!!! and I think she’s gotten more and more respect for her craft but it at least started as her going Wow alright this shit actually works? dope. now though I think she’s come to terms with it. she’s a level 14 wizard, she’s incredibly powerful really. magic for her is an extension of herself, to the point where she does it unconsciously (at least on sir gentry). she’s so skilled with dunamancy that she can just. choose to stop someone in time, five times a day. it’s exhausting, but she can just force a timeline on someone and have them be none the wiser. she’s Powerful, yo. and a lot of that power comes from sheer comfort with the subject, I think! I like that idea. PC: Zier - zier i think is very funny for this question because he like. JUST became a sorcerer and then levelled up super quickly in the span of like three or four months. but like. fundamentally, what happened was: 1. he ran away and got kidnapped and experimented on 2. he got away Somehow 3. he did magic at a giant spider 4. he ended up in another continent. so I think for him, it was surprising at first and he very much doesn’t know shit fuck all about magic, but he’s a noble boy through and through, and thus very quickly went “yeah i’m magical that fucks majorly because I fuck majorly.” it was basically him coming to terms with this new thing very quickly because he’s a bitch who likes the power. NPC: Coriander - coriander is the epitome of “is incredibly comfortable with magic.” for her, magic is essentially an assistive technology! she has darling who is basically a second pair of arms, legs, and an extra 8 feet of height so she can keep up with their partner and children who are much taller than she is. but I think a lot of the tech she develops is assistive or transportive in some way. coriander likes exploding things, but that’s more of a hobby. her actual magic works more like tech, and she treats it like a science.

Offspring: What kind of parent would they be? Would they prefer one, or multiple? Zephyr: much to think about.............. if she had kids I think she’d like multiple! she grew up completely alone so I think she’d want any kids to have siblings. as a parent I think she’d be good! i’ve been thinking about zephyr having very much Her People, who she likes, respects, and cares about to the point of fighting for and with them, and then Not Her People, who she kind of could give less of a shit about. her kids would def be Her People. she wouldn’t know exactly how to deal with them? I think for a bit there’d be a problem because she’d be stiff. she’d like her babies/kids very much! but she doesn’t know how to hold them. she doesn’t have experience talking to them. a baby cries and she tells it that theres nothing to cry over and logic at an infant doesn’t work and she goes bug eyed sasuke. but I think she’d figure it out eventually, and she’d be especially good at kids once they get to the “express their desires and disappointments in an understandable way.” perhaps she’d raise, on her own, very expressive kids because thats the only way they would be able to tell her what’s going on. PC: Sarril - :). he doesn’t know. but I think he would have been a good dad! his wife wanted multiple and so he would have had multiple, though he would have been very happy with only one. sarril was actively learning about Contact, so lots of hugs and holding for the babies and toddlers, especially with his wife and her family next to him. he’s always been a kind of calm and quiet man, and his way of showing love isn’t very Talkative, (i’ll talk about how he loves in another ask) so he’s more the dad who is At everything and is very quietly proud of everything his kid does, but unless there’s like, a crisis, he’s not likely to make it abundantly clear that he’s an adoring father. but you’d know from just like. he’s there, he’s tucking you in every night, he helps you with your homework, etc. NPC: Iris - iris wants kids SO BAD. she’d love one, she’d love multiple. part of being a part of a really terrible population crisis that may or may not be due to demonic influence, maybe, but she also just really wants kids. and she looked at cylthia and went “yeah alright we doing this?” I think iris with kids would be adoring almost to a fault. she’d LOVE those little bitches. she might spoil them rotten, but also they’d be super loved and have friends in all of glade and lent’s kids, and I think they’d eventually be cool.

Vice: What bad habits do they have? Is there something they would be ashamed of? Zephyr: shopaholic. i think a lot of her dresses come, if not free, at least steeply discounted because maybe she’s someone’s muse or maybe she did a huge favor for a dressmaker? haven’t decided yet. but definitely a lot of her paycheck (which I imagine she does get, from freelance jobs offering her wizarding services or maybe the dynasty pays her for the small wizard jobs like lighting the streets, bringing down and putting up and keeping up the night sky over rosohna, things like that) goes to dresses and accessories. she really likes spending money, and doesn’t mind so much about having it. I don’t think she’s ashamed of it, exactly? it’s her money, she’s spending it on things she likes. but it is probably indicative of Something. PC: Kenny - has a bad habit of being beholden to a god of fire who wants him to betray his friends. nah i think he’s got a bad habit of like now, scratching/rubbing soot off of himself. shit like that, where it’s a stimmy way of trying to get the ashen wolf’s influence off of him. he’s probably ashamed of it a little? because it’s the ashen wolf? but idk if it’s even really noticeable to others so that takes away a lot of the shame of it. NPC: Ecstasy - bad habits. of. not sharing her fucking feelings! she says thats STINKY but it kind of just fucks her over. like tbf with raini it kind of works because if she ever said she was in l*ve with raini the wizard might hightail it out of there but like. i think after two years she might have gotten away with it and didn’t even try. and now she’s kind of paying the price because not only does raini not remember her but it also doesn’t like, matter, maybe, because the feelings were ALWAYS unarticulated? so? she’s now just ????????